[
    {
        "question": "What do you do when you have a goal, but there is a lack of psychic energy and a low level of action?",
        "description": "I want to achieve my goals but my mind is deprived and has no energy, so my action is low How can I replenish my mind energy?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello ah, give you a warm hug ~ in your description of the problem, you can perceive yourself as a person with a goal, but you lack of [energy], this energy is more academic a little bit, that is, motivation. It is our motivation that gives us the ability to respond to behavior, and the stronger and clearer our motivation is, the more efficiently and quickly we are able to respond to behavior. Perhaps you need to find out what this goal means to you, why do you desire such a goal? Here you also need to refine your actions, maybe you have a strong need to facilitate your behavior, but maybe you are delaying some in terms of scheduling. You can try to do a planning for yourself, by having a big goal to break down into smaller goals, and then make a plan that works for you, and by breaking it down you can better facilitate your behavior. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20627
       },
       {
        "question": "What about being in a relationship and always feeling like you can find something better?",
        "description": "As the title suggests. I know this mindset is particularly bad, but how do I come to grips with it?",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah, see your question ah ~ and you share some of my thoughts, I hope to be able to help you ah - if you find a better, what will happen? You always think you can find a better one, but if you do, what will happen to you? Let's give you some examples. - Is he more considerate and caring? Then you should train your current boyfriend to learn how to care for you. Of course, care is mutual, you also need to care more about your boyfriend, he will care more about you. -Is it more rich and powerful? What good will it do to your boyfriend to have money, power and status, and what good will it do to you to improve your quality of life? Then you should work hard to earn money by yourself! Or there are other better places, you can think for yourself, better what will happen. Perhaps sometimes, we expect to be able to have a real life, Prince Charming to save us, so that we live happily ever after, but the reality is that everyone just need to be responsible for their own life, relying on others is often a basket case; if you have a desire in your heart, want to realize, you can think about how to achieve it through their own efforts! -What is the standard for better? What is the standard for finding better? Everyone is complex, full of changes, in different situations will have different behavioral patterns, so it is very difficult to compare people with each other through the good, poor ~ - such as money and power, there may be a day to lose, money and debt is sometimes a hair's breadth difference; - such as caring and considerate love, caring for others can be cultivated, and caring for you is not always the case, may be very passionate about love, but not together, but also to care for you, and to care for you, and to care for you. Caring and considerate, not so considerate together; - as well as you began to know a person, it is very difficult to understand him very well, think about it and your boyfriend at the beginning of the first time to see, love is not very good, and so you get along for a long time will find that he also has shortcomings, this is the same for any one person, no matter who you meet. Everyone is unique and has his own gifts, there is no perfect person. But we can work together with each other, two people encourage each other to help each other, together to make progress, so that both people become better and better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, seeing your attitude towards this issue, I would like to say something that is not quite the same as your point of view. \"It's human nature to \"always hope to find something better\", because we all believe that we are \"worthy of something better\", and we are always worried that we will not see the forest for the trees. We are always worried that we may not be able to see the forest for the trees. At the same time, there is another issue to consider, that is, what is the criterion to define the \"better\", this is the core of the problem. Draw a picture of the \"better\" in your own mind, and then look for it, as long as it is not blind, it is still \"looking for a better one\", and at the same time, do not make the mistake of \"the mountain looks like the other mountain\". After all, the pursuit of better is also the driving force that makes life go forward. The above is just my personal opinion, for reference only.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, your question is a bit short on clues, kind of like a proposition ahahaha. Feeling that you can find a better one is, on the one hand, a sign that you have a good recognition of yourself and feel that you are worthy of someone good. On the other hand, you feel that the other person isn't as good as you think they deserve. It was discovered in a relationship, and my guess is that you were in a relationship and realized that there was a discrepancy between the other person and what you thought they were. This was discovered in several relationships and there was a confusion whether to continue or to separate. People have different definitions of better. Is it being better than you in your career in your mind? Or easier to feel loved when treating you? Or makes you happier when you get along? Finding out your own definition of better will hopefully help you see what you need and whether the other person has the ability to meet your needs. If communication alone can make the other person better for you, or even exceptionally good, and the other person has the ability to do that, then try communication. If what you need is beyond the other party's reach for the time being, but also the other party's planning direction for the future, you can consider whether you are willing to accompany each other to grow together. If you just need is the other side do not want to do can not do not want to do, then see whether you are willing to change their own goals. Everyone changes from time to time, and in the past, I always hoped to identify a person, and then live for the rest of my life. This is of course very good, but most of the time, are walking on the road with a section of the people, as for how long you want to walk, all depends on you and the other person's inner choice.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There is always the feeling that you can find a better partner in a relationship. When our partner fails to meet some of our needs, do we choose to get a new partner, or do we meet that part of our needs ourselves, or do we communicate with our partner about what part of our needs we want him to meet. Rarely is the perfect partner able to fulfill all of our needs, and when our needs cannot be met by our partner, can we love ourselves enough to fulfill our own needs? Changing someone else is a hard thing to do. If you want your partner to meet a certain part of your needs, you can guide him, for example, giving gifts for the holidays Whenever he meets this part of your needs, you sincerely praise him for the act of giving gifts for the holidays. Feelings can be cultivated, but you need to guide him.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1088
       },
       {
        "question": "So anxious to know that school is starting that you haven't slept for a few nights?",
        "description": "The school released a notice that the school is going to start, after knowing the news, I did not sleep well for several nights, I woke up in the middle of the night after two o'clock, and then I could not sleep, what should I do? Anxiety is so great!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, how are youThe subject is here to give you a hugThe subject is anxious because she received the notice of the beginning of the school year, and she can't sleep for several nights, and she wakes up suddenly in the middle of the night, and she can't sleep at the back of the roomWe'll analyze the cause of the anxiety: is the subject anxious just because she received the notice of the beginning of the school year? Or is it because of some other reasons related to the start of the school year. For example, if you haven't finished your homework, you're afraid of being scolded by the teacher, or you don't want to start school because you don't get along with your classmates, or because you're not happy at school. Or do not like the school, with the emotion of anorexia, fear of school, has been thinking about how to do and so on ...... The subject received the notice of the beginning of the school began to be anxious, because of what reason, need to think about it, and then one by one to break down to make themselves relax a little bit of anxiety to the subject of the tension brought about by the mood, but also lead to insomnia. Then you can make yourself relax a little bit, do not tighten up. We can go to listen to some light music to help you sleep, you can also go to listen to some of the courses of the Meditation Planet, to relax your whole body. Relaxing a little bit each day allows you to quiet your mind to work through the issues that you have because of your anxiety. Express your anxiety Sometimes not expressing your emotions and keeping them inside can make you more anxious You can talk to someone you trust, talk about your concerns, talk about the reasons for your anxiety, and let them give you advice. It's better to talk about it than to keep it inside, and the stone weighing on your heart will be lighter if you talk about it. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12256
       },
       {
        "question": "25 year old girl who suddenly realizes she's scared to show herself in front of others?",
        "description": "I was once very sick, and for a long time my mother took care of me; she wouldn't let me tell anyone about my illness, and she liked to deny me when I spoke sometimes. Now that I'm in the workforce, I've suddenly realized that I'm very reluctant to express myself. Even though I know that what I'm doing is right and that it would be beneficial to me if I did it, I'm still reluctant to do it because doing it would show myself to others. Is there something wrong with me psychologically?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Girl, it's really brave of you to come across the ability to think psychologically and explore your heart, you're already on your way to solving the problem! It's true that being sick is not a good thing, but do you want to be sick? Are you happy to be sick? Don't you want to get better? No matter what, it's your body that's sick, not you, and you want to be healthy and happy, right? In the same way, being afraid to express yourself is your feelings being sick, not you being sick, so it's okay to find a doctor for your feelings, and you're the first doctor. Ask yourself, am I really afraid? Am I really afraid of expressing myself or am I afraid of not being accepted by others if I do? Can I try this, first find someone I trust and tell him no matter what I do, please stand by me, just comfort me, encourage me, don't judge me, and then get up the courage to say what's in my heart, no matter what others think, or do what you want to do, and what if you get a good result? Then you can slowly find confidence. Life is actually a process of making mistakes, correcting them, forgetting them, continuing to make mistakes, and continuing to correct them. In fact, I often regret after doing something wrong, worry, but please believe me, anyway, things have happened, I try to correct, try to make up for it, there is no big deal! I'm not perfect, it's normal to make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. Cheer up! Girl! You can do it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 302
       },
       {
        "question": "Freshman in high school, technical school, bad foundation, but want to go to college, so confused?",
        "description": "To be precise, I am a student in a technical school. I didn't do well in primary and middle school, and my grades in the last mock exam were shockingly low. I didn't even participate in the high school entrance exam and went to the technical school instead. This school is not bad, the teachers are strict and responsible. But I really dislike all the subjects in this technical school. I know I should just accept it, but I don't want to. I want to go to university and study Chinese linguistics, and eventually become a civil servant. However, this comes with a premise that I must participate in the college entrance examination and get into a university. For someone like me with poor basic skills, I can't even handle math, language, and English, let alone the science or humanities subjects in high school. We have already had our summer vacation this year, and in another summer I'll be in the second year of high school. I don't think I have much time left. I originally wanted to rely on a friend I've known since childhood. He is attending a prestigious high school, and I wanted him to help me recover all my basics. But in the end, I didn't ask him, and I don't even know if he has started his summer vacation. Besides, he is almost in the second year of high school too, so how much time can he spare to help me? I have no idea where to start with math. I haven't even mastered Chinese pinyin in language class. These are all things I have written down. Even if I try to memorize English on my own, I can't even understand elementary school English questions. I'm really lost right now.",
        "keywords": "Growth, work-study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the subject, perhaps we are not as bad as we thought, just did not find their own learning methods. Sometimes we can be deceived by the performance of those so-called good students, I have to say that in life there are indeed individual students with particularly high IQ, learning while playing can achieve very good results, but we have to understand one thing, most people are ordinary ordinary people, we can not through a few students who study well on the denial of their own. As far as many students around me are concerned, I seldom see that I can get good grades without studying hard. Some people don't finish their homework after class because they have digested all the basics during class, and the role of practice problems is more often than not to consolidate the basics, so for the students who have mastered it completely, the rigid teaching is not suitable for them. Take us for example, first not to compare with others, the subject has a clear goal and ideas, which for many high school students can not do, many students only think of learning to go to college, as for what to do in the future many people are very confused, we already have a clear goal, then down to do is how to adjust their own learning methods. Learning must not be entrusted to others, for various subjects, there are now a variety of online tutorials, if the family conditions are not bad, we can let our parents to help us find some more experienced teachers, to see where our learning weaknesses, how to improve? If everything is up to you, we can start with the basics, and if the teachers at school are good, we can always ask them for advice and find our own way of learning. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, it's rare that you have this hindsight. Perhaps, the rustiness of the various subjects will make you clueless, thinking and emotions will be affected, and the head is messy, this is because you put all the problems together to see, so that the problem will be magnified, feel as a big mountain that can not be crossed the domain, if the problem is split into small problems, one by one, step by step, relatively speaking, the difficulty will be weakened. Guess you should be a teenage age, have a clear understanding of their own, the future planning also has a preliminary direction, the specific situation is the face of their own status quo always feel lost and anxious. In fact, not only you, other people if you are in the same situation, the encountered learning language, mathematics and English problem is the same existence, and will not be solved at once, it is recommended that every day to arrange a certain amount of time to start learning from the simple knowledge, to lay a solid foundation. On the way forward, the most taboo is to compare and set limits, only focus on the action at hand will be easy to find a breakthrough. Now many colleges and universities have set up adult college entrance exams and self-tests, the network also has a lot of online classes, find what you need, enter the learning state, day by day to accumulate, one year, two years, three years or even five years, you will always reach the goal you want. For example, the study of English for this course, at first you can mechanically memorize and copy words, once you have a vocabulary, accumulated a certain sense of language and habits of mind, you can further explore the laws of English learning, rather than from the beginning to find a trick to make rapid progress, the law of development of the mind tells us to explore the learning method is more helpful after the establishment of the basic accumulation. In life, most of them are generalized people who think of improving their living environment and changing their future destiny with their own efforts and diligence, however, many of them can't reach it, and most of the reasons why they can't achieve their goals are because they give up halfway. Utilitarian learning is also purposeful learning, there is such an attempt to motivate you to action, on the one hand, but also to pay attention to, with some common sense to study is also an essential way to success. Moving at a pace of relaxation and tension can help you de-stress.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The word count was limited, and then said that it feels like there is no longer enough time, and there is no chance to make an effort, I often smoke myself, trying to smoke me out of my dreams, woke up and I realized that I had just entered the first grade, and everything can start from the beginning, but I smoked a couple of nights do not matter, and I know that I deserved it, in elementary school there was a friend who was a bully, but I couldn't learn anything from him, and junior high school next to a couple of students who studied well, but never asked about studying, and finally studied very poorly, the people in the junior high school class looked down on me, and often called us a few poor students as stupid, and finally graduated. The classmates, but never ask about learning, the last study is very poor, junior high school class look down on me, often a few of us poor learning to say as a fool, I hope to hurry to graduate in the first year, and finally graduated, high school did not go on, and then come back to complain about really do not know what my next step to go.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17578
       },
       {
        "question": "Can I start over in college after high school is over?",
        "description": "I suffered from bipolar disorder in my freshman year of high school, and because of this disease, I fell behind in many classes and may not be able to get into a very good college, but I am not willing to do so. If I am in a bad college, can I realize the value of my life? I wondered if failing to get into a good university meant that I was inferior to others. Or is a good future only possible if I get into a good university? I used to be a good student, and I don't want to be thought of as a bad student. Now that high school is over, will I be able to start my life over? I hope you can give me an answer, thank you!",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Student Growth, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, only because the first year of high school suffered from bipolar disorder, so delayed their studies. I can feel that you are very motivated and have high expectations for your future, and because you can't go to a good university for the time being, you are a little worried about your future. Hug you~## Although you can't get into a good university for the time being, it doesn't mean that you can't have a future you hope for, and you have a very strong motivation, I believe that your future will be very bright## In university, you can have many opportunities to make yourself better, for example, participating in subject competitions, research projects, etc. More communication with teachers will help you## If you want to go to a better university, you can improve your education by going to graduate school ## In the university, by participating in colorful activities, to improve your all-round ability, it will help you in the future ## In addition, continue to actively treat the bipolar disorder, timely review, and have a stable mood, it is also a very good help for your future The above is a little bit of my advice, I hope to be able to help you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, first of all, give the owner a hug, I'm sure the owner must be an exceptionally hard working person and has high demands and expectations of herself. Because of some special reasons, so left a lot of courses, you will feel that maybe for the time being you are not as good as others. So then you are worried that you will not be able to get into a good university. If a person can get into a good university through their own hard work of course they can prove their ability. It shows that you are also very good, but this kind of thing is not absolute not to say that you can't get into a good university you must not be good. There is a saying that gold will shine. Entering the university, you can of course give yourself a new life later. In fact, you can always give yourself a new life, as long as you are willing. I believe that as long as you do not give up, yourself, believe that you will be better. Toward a direction, work hard by yourself. No matter where you are, you will be excellent, all your good places others will see will always be appreciated by others. All your efforts will be rewarded. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The good or bad of the university does not feel whether you can realize the value of your life or not. No matter what university you go to, you can realize the value of your life if you work hard. Can't get into a good university, it doesn't mean that you are worse than others, grades can't be the only standard to judge a person's good or bad. When you go to college, don't slack off, you have to keep up the good work.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17022
       },
       {
        "question": "22 years old, can't find out why my body hasn't been feeling well.",
        "description": "Before I studied in my first year of junior high school, my body was always good and I was happy every day. Since I went to my second uncle's house to study, my body has been poor, always pain, uncomfortable, go to the hospital to check feel the pain, difficult position can not check the cause, so painful, so difficult, is it because of psychological problems caused by?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, paranoia, avoidance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hugs to you! If you can't find out at the hospital, could it be that it's not a physical problem, but really a psychological one as you say. It could also be that you're in a new environment and not adapting to it, so it's possible that you're not used to it. For is not a psychological problem, you can review the recent period of time is not what sad things happen, the mood is not continuously low, not happy, if so, may be caused by psychological problems Oh, this is to go to the psychiatrist to ask for further diagnosis Oh, do not delay! It is also possible that you are not eating well and are malnourished. Hugs to you, may you come back sooner!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From your description, it is possible that it is a mind causality issue, be aware of the state of the present moment, do what you are doing, just do what you can or should do, don't make the causal connection, when you think he is a problem, he really becomes the cause of what is holding you back from growth, just like you currently are, differentiate between the two things and stick with it slowly over time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21057
       },
       {
        "question": "Freshmen, how do you handle club work and academic commitments?",
        "description": "After entering my freshman year and joining two clubs, I find that I seem overwhelmed when it comes to dealing with work and school, and would like to ask what is the best way to deal with it?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work-study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello, hug you ah ~ read your description, recently the balance of study and club work problems began to make you feel troubled, I also experienced the busy and confused freshman year, I can understand your feelings of these two can not be unable to choose between the two now. Regarding your description \"After entering the first year of college, I joined two clubs and found that I was overwhelmed when dealing with work and study\", I don't know whether you decided to join two clubs because of the idea of personal advancement or because you listened to the recommendations of your seniors, perhaps you are a freshman and therefore don't know much about the working condition of the clubs, but if you understand the working condition of the clubs in advance, you will find that you can't choose between them. If you know about the working condition of the clubs in advance, you will realize that the work of one club is enough to occupy most of your rest time, while the work of the second club will make you unable to cope with it. Therefore, the work of these two clubs will definitely take up all your rest time, so if you want to balance study and work, you are advised to give up one of the clubs. If you go to consult your teachers or other seniors, most of them will tell you that you have to choose between studying and working in the clubs, because college is not meant to be a life of total relaxation, but more importantly, a balance between study and interest. Perhaps if we have learned to balance the two, we will be able to benefit from college life. If you feel that work and study balance is a struggle, or that you do not yet have the ability to adapt to this, we recommend that you slowly try to organize their own time according to their own actual situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3974
       },
       {
        "question": "Don't know how to get along with people the right way?",
        "description": "This year, 24 years old, a girl who will not communicate to deal with the problem, not very good at socializing, emotional intelligence is not high, but every day before the people try to communicate to keep smiling, always want to integrate into each small group, seemingly dashing, in fact, not, other people are not happy, always feel that it is their own reasons, and even some of the fear of socializing, if it can be, no need to communicate with the best married, and easy to conflict between her husband, their own emotions Easy to get excited, once the fight will feel irretrievable, feel that they do not have anyone to talk about in fact, it is ridiculous, I sometimes still do emotional detachment to friends, but to their own reasoning understand, but can not control themselves, it is easy to shed tears angry things are very small, perhaps because friends invited to dinner has been asking girls to eat what the girls do not matter, the boys can not find the right one because of one of the girls I was very anxious for that girl out of the unauthorized decision to eat hot pot, shouted at all the people ran to order, the result is that my husband said do not know what to do, said all the people did not order what I ordered, I got angry, and my husband had a big fight I do not know if my psychological is normal, so I want to seek answers!",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Development, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, give you a warm hug(\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Through your description I understand: (1) the owner feels that he is not very good at socializing and wants to know what kind of socializing is correct (2) the owner often plays the role of emotional relief to others in life Next is my analysis and suggestions, I hope to be able to help the owner: (1) although the owner believes that he is repulsed by the socialization, he still tries his best everyday to Although the owner believes that she is socially repulsive, she still tries to smile every day and keep communicating, which to a certain extent shows the owner's initiative to overcome the socialization problem and also reflects the owner's inner desire to integrate into a certain group. So the owner said that he could not socialize as much as possible, this is actually some slightly gambling, of course, this is just what I feel. (2) In fact, the owner's social skills are in, for example, the owner will give friends as an emotional tutor, know what they know, but can not control themselves, this is a situation that each of us will encounter, because when we are in and out of the perspective is not the same, in which the time may also become \"narrow thinking \". (3) The owner says that she and her husband are often in conflict and emotional, and she feels that no one is there to talk to her. This no one is not really no one, but the owner identifies herself in her own model as not being able to socialize, so her behavior may not be understood, and the owner does not feel that other people understand her, and so she feels that no one is there to listen to her. On the owner of the description of the example, let's do a simple analysis: event: friends invited to dinner, the girl anxiety does not know what to eat the owner's reaction: for the decision to eat hot pot husband's reaction: said the owner does not understand things from this incident, the owner's intention is good, because want to avoid the girl's anxiety and the embarrassment of the scene, but why their own so still can not get to understand it? What can be seen is that the owner is also a party to be invited, so think about it, the girls really do not know what to eat? There is a saying that the guest follows the host, so this kind of thing maybe everyone is just waiting for the friend who invited the guest to make a decision, so in this kind of situation where everyone does not speak maybe it is the best way to be silent together with everyone else. And the owner said he decided to eat hot pot without authorization, shouted everyone to the restaurant, the owner is trying his best, but maybe everyone is not appreciated, because we also have to consider whether someone does not eat hot pot, whether the friend who invited the guests want to invite this and so on, so my husband said that the owner does not know how to do things, may be because I feel that the owner is a little bit did not take into account the other side of the feelings, but it is not to say that the owner of the intention is bad. In fact, the best tool for socializing is sincerity, but there is also a more important law is that when we do not know what to do, look at what everyone else is doing, not to be the first, not to be the last, so that the vote is more conducive to our situation, and will not be hard. Finally, in fact, the husband is the owner of a closer person, so you can choose to show appropriate weakness, if the other side said they do not know what to do, the owner can say: honey, maybe what I do is not good, you know I'm not good at it, so, can you teach me how to do it? This way, since you respect your husband's ideas, you can also learn a lot of things to improve social skills, and the father's relationship will also improve Oh! #World and I love you, good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17333
       },
       {
        "question": "Are you especially envious of other girls who have delicate feelings and want to be pampered too?",
        "description": "Other girls are very delicate and can guess other people's thoughts, they can dress up and get along with people very well, why do I have a big mouth and don't act like a girl at all, and they are all very happy and pampered, if only I were like this, no one cares about me, no one cares about me, my mom and dad are getting more and more unwilling to take care of me, and they don't talk to me for a long time, and when it's hard for me to feel bad, I can only cry in secret, but my mom and dad don't care about how I am. When I am particularly hard to bear, only then may come to coax me or else just pretend to be invisible there is no way to talk to them properly they do not listen to what I say and do not care about me what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\uffccHello owner, the owner said that she especially envies other girls who are emotionally delicate, can dress up and can get along well with others. This is indeed their merit. Sometimes their advantages do not come out of nowhere, may be in their own living environment in the subtle learning, or may be their own extra attention to learn. Since the owner envies their advantages, then pay attention to their own lives, learn from them, improve themselves, so that they also become their favorite people. Become more excellent. And the owner should also objectively recognize themselves, good to find their own advantages, big grin may not be able to ruthlessly to experience the feelings of others, but with such a person together will be very comfortable and comfortable, do not have to have too many worries. As for the owner and parents of the relationship, sometimes we need to take the initiative to maintain, take the initiative to communicate with them. We can't always ask our parents to understand us, we've grown up and we need to understand our parents too. Good luck~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 13919
       },
       {
        "question": "What if you want to find someone to talk to about your memories, but you can't receive completion therapy?",
        "description": "Hello teachers, I have been in counseling for a while and I feel that those people in my memories are so precious, but most of them have already parted ways with me or gone their own way, I can no longer find them to say the things that my heart wants to say, but I am not quite able to accept the completion therapy (I understand the completion therapy is to say to myself how I feel?). But I'm not very comfortable with Gestalt therapy (I understand Gestalt therapy is saying your feelings to yourself?).",
        "keywords": "Therapy, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject. When we are not able to get in touch with some people or express our emotions with each other due to various limitations, we feel the depression of this emotion. Human emotions need to be expressed so that our human energy can flow. In fact, there are ways to express this emotion in counseling. One of my personal favorites is to \"write a letter to the other person\". This is a form of writing therapy. Writing is a way of realizing healing by writing down in writing what you have experienced, what you feel, and what you want to express but are unable to. This is also somewhat similar to narrative therapy. The process in which a person narrates is a process of self-exposure, and this process is inherently healing. Find a safe environment and allow yourself to write a letter to the other person. There is no limit to the content of the letter, so you can write down what you want to say to the other person and your emotions. After writing the letter, you can read it out to yourself and then feel the difference between how you felt before and after writing the letter. The letter, of course, doesn't have to be actually sent to the other person. If you can read the letter to someone you trust who can listen to you well, that's okay too. This method is easy and convenient, requires less time and circumstances, and can also be done alone. What makes words different from other forms is that written down words can be seen. You can see your inner feelings by seeing the words, which is a process of deepening self-understanding. In my writing healing process, I can feel the immense power of words, words have a powerful energy. I have experienced many times that in the process of writing, my emotions are expressed and it is also a mirror that allows me to see myself from a distance. Another approach is the Gestalt technique called \"Empty Chair Dialogue\". In Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Empty Chair Technique is also an important intervention technique that can help the visitor to relieve inner conflicts and better express and release emotions. The Empty Chair Conversation technique is generally used to help visitors resolve emotions about significant others in their lives. You can prepare two chairs, sit on one chair, and imagine that the significant other is sitting on the empty chair opposite you. Then one expresses one's thoughts and feelings to the other person. Then you can sit in the opposite chair, visualize yourself as the significant other, and then respond to what you have just expressed to yourself. If assisted by a counselor, after the visitor has fully expressed his or her emotions, the counselor will give the visitor some emotional validation that it is normal to feel such emotions, and assist the visitor in replacing non-adaptive emotions with adaptive ones. If you do this process on your own, you may not be able to see the full scope of the problem and may be limited to your own perspective. But practicing on your own can be helpful. In your question, you said that you could not accept the way of talking to yourself about your feelings in Completion Therapy, so I think you are referring to the \"dialogic practice\" technique in Completion Therapy. The empty chair technique I mentioned above is also a type of Gestalt therapy, but the difference is that the client plays two roles. The essence of this technique is a kind of role-playing, through this method, is the surface of the introjection, is the loss of the person to fully experience the conflict, access to the hidden depths of the emotions. The important thing about this technique is the experience. Another way to role-play is to find someone you trust, in a way that is more similar to the Empty Chair Conversation technique above, and it is better if a counselor accompanies you through the process. Having someone to respond to you can also open up the perspective somewhat. Also, I think analyzing your dreams is a more valuable way to go. Because my personal experience is that I sometimes dream about loved ones who have passed away, and in dreams, it is possible to analyze some of your inner complexes. Changes in dreams can also reveal changes within a person. Dream interpretation itself is one of the core techniques of the psychoanalytic school. It is not a bad idea to try to deepen your understanding of yourself by recording and analyzing your dreams. These are my answers, I hope they are helpful to you. Blessings to you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, hugs to you, I feel like you are a person who is responsible for your emotions and is very sentimental. After reading the answers of other respondents, I'm sure you already know something about the epistolary approach. I would like to introduce you to another form of psychotherapy that is still relatively niche, some people call it drama therapy, some people call it psychodrama, which is called Playback in English. I have experienced many different forms of psychodrama, generally speaking, the visitor will tell a personal story, a difficult to release memories, or just choose a troubled emotion, and the actors will instantly put the story into action through the form of performance. The actor will instantly give the visitor a snippet of the story back to him or her in the form of a performance. In a larger group, visitors can also choose actors to perform segments that match their memories or feelings. It is healing and impactful to be seen and heard when we are able to see, experience and re-experience memories that have been stored in our minds from the audience's point of view, or when the actor is able to empathize with details that we were not even aware of. At the same time, in the moments when we are able to pull ourselves away from past relationships or memories, we are better able to say goodbye to our TAs. I hope what I've shared will be helpful to the respondent~ Finally, by the time you ask this question, you're already on your way to preparing to say goodbye to your past~ Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! Completion therapy, as I personally understand it, simply means to go and do what you want to do and accept your original true self! If [you want to find memories, those precious people, to find them to say what they want to say], then according to the point of view of Gestalt therapy, that is to do this thing. I don't know what you mean by \"no longer able to\" 1) things have changed, they are no longer the people in your memory 2) time has changed, it's hard to get in touch with them 3) even if you do get in touch with them, there is no way to talk about them 3) whatever the case may be, I would suggest that you do it. Whichever way it is, I suggest that the owner can take the way of [writing a letter] to fulfill the wish of his heart. What the owner wants to do is to talk to the precious people in his memory, and I think that no matter where Ta is, no matter whether Ta is dead or not, \"letters\" as an ancient way of carrying emotions, can play a certain role. In psychology, there is a method called writing healing. Specifically, the practice is to set a time in advance, the thoughts and feelings of the heart, very fluent writing down, do not care about grammar, words, word order, is to write with the heart. In the process of writing, it is also a kind of self-expression and emotional release. Of course, you can also choose to write to them in a heartfelt way, to put what you want to say in your heart, the emotions you want to express, into the letter. You can send it to someone far away; you can also choose to burn it as a letter to someone in your memories; or you can choose to leave it as a kind of remembrance. I hope, my answer, can give you some help. I wish you, a happy life and a happy future!",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 24
       },
       {
        "question": "Older, meets rich guy, why still reject?",
        "description": "The boy's family commissioned a matchmaker to come and talk to him. The words were also very flamboyant, net good words, said I was good, very well behaved. Boys in the last year did not make it on a blind date, no further, they are in a hurry to get married, I can not accept. The boy looked at some better than my conditions, he was not satisfied, said that after looking around or I am more suitable, fancy me. His family is also very happy with me. He's not particularly handsome, but he's rich and okay. Food and clothing is not a problem. It is said that the basis of marriage is economic, then why I still can not accept this kind of person. Let myself stay single. This is not very bad! Why have you been waiting for a classmate who has no news...if he has no idea of getting married. Then I'll be in deep shit. It'll be even worse.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, singles",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, hugs to you. Follow your heart. It's true that in the opinion of many ordinary girls, there is such a rare and auspicious cloud floating across the sky of their world that most of them would grab it, yet you didn't, and are therefore confused and in a dilemma. I went through that back in the day, but turned it down without hesitation. In your description I read \"The boys' families commissioned a matchmaker to come and talk.\" It was the boy's family that was in a hurry, not the boy's own wishes, and all the fuss before and after was his family's fiddling, and in the end, you don't even know what the boy thinks, and a lot of it is still up in the air. \"The words are also very gorgeous, net good, say I am good, very good.\" It's a sign of this family's high emotional intelligence, and it just confirms some of their better qualities of having a certain social status social connections, and having a certain amount of financial means. \"The boys had a blind date last year that didn't work out and didn't go anywhere, they were in a hurry to get married and I couldn't accept that. Boys looked at some better than my condition, he is not satisfied, said look and look or I am more suitable, see me.\" This can only mean that the boys see your conditions, feel suitable, which may not have too much like and love components, depending on whether you have met and you have not been together, so this \"fancy\" and \"suitable\" is just the result of the weighing of various aspects. So it's just a matter of weighing all the aspects. \"His family is also very happy with me. He's not particularly handsome, but he's rich and he's okay. He's well fed and clothed.\" Their family feels that you and your family are a good match and have a good social reputation, and his family has the bread, but you don't see much love. Also subconsciously, you feel that you are not lacking bread either, you are lacking some love, so you keep waiting. This is not bad, rather it is good. It's good to stick to your original intention. Waiting for the worthy waiting for the best waiting for the real prince of your own is the best thing. I am with you on this one. Because marriage is still to be independent, although the foundation is financial, but if later on his earning capacity is better than you, even the financial source depends on him, later on your position will also become passive, happiness will not be so long. \"\"Then why I still can't accept this kind of person. To keep myself single. \" \"It means that your subconscious has been telling yourself that you don't like the arrangement within the family, and you are not willing to go against your heart because of your age. Owner, let me tell you about the rich man's criteria for picking a daughter-in-law. First of all, my analysis will be more pointed, may you listen to a little uncomfortable, but absolutely universal deep-seated reasons. 1. First appearance to be in the upper, at least appearance to pass, will be in order to better inheritance continuation of the family industry, the basic needs. 2. Hope to look atmospheric, out of the hall into the kitchen. This looks more face, social needs. 3. character to be good, to be docile, this way the elders will be more like, but also better control, so that the in-laws will feel more secure in old age, more secure, and later will be more worry. Can alleviate some of the anxiety of the late years. 4. to be more stupid, do not want to be very fine and scheming kind, because some families will be afraid of daughter-in-law with children and grandchildren to seize their family property. 5. of course, the family should not be too bad, not too big a difference, it is best of course, about the same or better than the male family, the future of the economic disputes of the risk of hidden dangers, and so on, will reduce some of the. 6. the male point of view, he has a great responsibility. Because the family is very large, he has the responsibility, so he does not dare to completely in accordance with their own wishes, the degree of freedom is certainly not as good as an ordinary family, so in addition to some practical factors, purely in his personal wishes and feelings above the ingredients will be relatively less. This is basically what I'm talking about, do you see that it's all about weighing the pros and cons? For you, how to do the choice? First of all. Marriage is a major life event, related to the happiness of a lifetime, marry the right person is very important, must be carefully considered. Once this step is wrong, will be a lifetime of things, reputation and the happiness of the next few decades will be greatly reduced, the future life will also become more passive. Therefore, it must still think for yourself. Now 2020 times have changed, people's concepts have also changed. Now the concept is: there is no age to get married, only the love to get married. The owner, you must not settle for, no matter what must love themselves, must be good to themselves, can not condescend to themselves. Nowadays, we don't advocate getting married for the sake of age, but for the sake of happiness. Do not marry because of age, or later will regret every day, now has a lot of girls are already every day and every moment in regret regret did not think about it hastily married, do not want you like them to step their dust. I do not know whether you have paid attention to the news, said recently this year, the divorce rate rose, the epidemic during the discovery of the other side has a lot of irreconcilable problems and contradictions, etc., the specific reasons for a variety of. So, really don't be too hasty results, it will seem presumptuous and irresponsible to themselves, will bury their future happiness. Now your situation, the rich man's family think you are suitable, think the door is right, you carefully analyze how much of the ingredients in this is your own internal factors. Once these external factors have changed, what is the probability that they will find you suitable, or suitable, you also carefully analyze how much value they will give to you. Financial value or emotional value? How much respectively? Scratch the surface Value Levels Criteria for Finding a Male Mate: (Layer by Layer) Appearance Core Resources Networking Social Resources Core Competencies Ability to Handle Conflict Character Level Cold Violence or Direct Communication Reflective Ability Adequate Personality Kernel Level Attachment Patterns Self-Esteem Levels Passion Sense of Pursuit of Dreams Soul Mates Live Life to the Fullest Love Life Positive Illusion Strengths Perceiver Emotional Value There is someone in your heart right now, a classmate of yours, and you have been waiting to hear from him. This is good. You can wait all the time, or you can reject this family, of course, you do not reject him can also be, first to know not dating to see, wipe your eyes first to examine, do not move, if you can not control yourself can not do, do not start first, first ask your classmates for news. So I think, you can wait for your classmate's news while getting to know this boy first. Even if you can't become anything in the end, at least you'll have a strong social network and expand your social circle.",
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        "questionID": 8636
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there a connection between the development of disease and human consciousness or not?",
        "description": "The first time I remember wanting to buy a knife to cut my wrists was when I was 12 years old. After more than ten years of development, I have experienced how the concepts of \"I want to cry every day, I am an unnecessary person in the world, I don't deserve to live in this world,\" and so on have affected me, and I have been immersed in self-guilt as if I had been cut off from the rest of the world. Now I wonder if there is a connection between the development of disease and human consciousness. If so, how does this connection change? If not, why was I healed? However, I have not been able to come up with an answer to this question, because after all, I did not come from a medical background. After all, I am not a medical student. In the end, I can only sigh that human beings are the basis of all things!",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Therapy Methods, Counseling, Talking and Listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner~* Is there any connection between the development of disease and one's consciousness? Does the consciousness mentioned by the owner refer to internal psychological problems? It is not yet known whether there is a relationship between consciousness and disease, but the relationship between psychology and disease has been explored. Although the scientific community has not found any direct evidence to prove that diseases are caused by psychological problems, many studies have found that uterine cancer, ovarian cancer, and some other diseases in women are related to poor psychological state, and that individuals with poor psychological state have a lower rate of cancer compared to individuals with a healthy state of mind. Most of the long-lived elderly people have a very good state of mind, compared to ordinary people, they have a greater love for life, full of enthusiasm for life, and a very healthy state of mind. So there is a strong link between disease and the inner mental state of a person! \u203bIf there is, how does this connection change? If not, why do I get well without treatment? The body and the psyche are like the unity of duality in philosophy, and human beings are highly intelligent beings made up of both. They are the ones who, by simply being connected, can double their swords and create infinite power, or they can harm each other, like Leaning on Heaven to Slay the Dragon. So they are not always in an unchanging relationship with each other, but a dynamic process of change. When you are sad, it may be caused by the disharmony between mind and body, and when you are healed, mind and body reach harmony in the midst of chaos, and so on and so forth, so it makes you feel that the care of mind and body is always changing. In fact, 'change' itself is the basic law of the relationship between body and mind, and you need to be able to recognize that you are a dynamically balanced organism that receives stimuli from the outside world all the time, and then internalizes them into the psyche, reaching balance from chaos! This is normal for the body and the psyche! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 10412
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you like to read emotional texts in the middle of the night?",
        "description": "When you can't sleep at night, it's easy to read emotional articles and listen to sad songs, and then it also resonates, why is that?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, our emotions are easily affected by our environment, whether it is the environment itself, or the people and things in the environment. If you can't sleep at night, you may have something troubling you inside, and at this time you will have a need for \"quiet\", whether it's the physical environment or inner peace. The external physical environment, everyone is asleep, the outside is quiet, will not be disturbed; and you in a pile of articles, will tend to click on the emotional articles to read, because they will give your emotions play a \"calming\" effect. At night, people tend to be sentimental, there are biological rhythms, that is, the body is resting and cleaning up the internal garbage, for contact with external stimuli, such as words or sad, or quiet songs, will resonate. And the same words or sad songs may resonate less when we click on them at the hot midday meal table. So many times, we feel more alone in the dead of night and people become a little faintly sad. At the same time, some people also have outbursts of inspiration and imagination for the creation of works. If you want to change this situation, you can let yourself listen to some soothing light music or read some neutral and healing words before going to bed, so that you can fall asleep with gratitude and warmth. If the insomnia is severe, you can use medication to help treat it, or seek professional help. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When one is alone at night, it is the loneliest time for a person, and paired with the silence of the night, one's emotions can easily fluctuate. Coupled with the fact that people themselves are emotional animals, every day will meet different people or things, in the face of a variety of things, will be accompanied by emotions. It is very normal to read some emotional articles, the similarities with you will naturally cause you to resonate, so as to experience the emotions in it. Being able to hear the emotions in music shows that you are a very emotional person, and there is nothing wrong with that. It's just that we need to learn to regulate our emotions, not to let them continue to be in a low state for a long time, but to let them return to calm.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 15352
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you reconcile a verbal confrontation when the non-followers can't understand the followers?",
        "description": "I have two roommates, one chasing a male celebrity, and the other is a completely good girl who studies all the time. The star chasing A will pay attention to the star's news every day, in the network and netizens voice knock cp, buy peripheral posters hanging ornaments ... ... do not follow the star B all day study, never see him have any hobbies. One day B suddenly said A star is a variety of brain fantasy, unrealistic. B had been concentrating on star, immediately looked up and retorted that I which fantasy, A said that you are always fantasy, who is who and his cp. The two words gradually intense, I was very nervous at the side, can only say that everyone has everyone's different ideas, how can I persuade them?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Conflict, Housemates and Classmates",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ first to the owner of a hug, from the description can be understood 1. the owner of the roommate because of the different views of the pursuit of stars and quarrel 2. the owner would like to persuade them to stop quarreling, but I do not know how to say [a little analysis and suggestions] 1. everyone has their own different family education and growing up in the environment, for the same thing to produce a different view is very normal. Focus on learning is not wrong, love of stargazing is not a problem, as long as the basis of not affecting others, personal hobbies should be respected, the owner himself can recognize this, you can express this idea to the roommate, I hope that they get along peacefully. 2. It is worth noting that the students who love to learn first of all, the stargazers questioned the classmates. Why would they suddenly quarrel? The reason for the quarrel may be not only the different views on things, but also may be due to the behavior of the stargazer at certain times which caused trouble to the student, such as chatting on the phone in the dormitory and making noise to each other. The owner can try to ask the students, if there is such a problem, to help convey to the other attention, may be more conducive to dormitory relations and harmony. I hope it will be helpful to the owner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Two friends quarrel, caught in the middle of the friend is the most difficult, I can see that you really care about your roommates, do not want the dormitory atmosphere and the relationship between the roommates deteriorate right? In fact, everyone has their own interests, as long as it does not disturb others, we can respect, tolerate, or simply ignore. If your study buddy suddenly accuses your stargazing buddy, maybe it's because her stargazing buddy is disturbing her study, so you can ask her privately and individually. If this is the case, you can advise the stargazing roommate not to talk about her favorite stars while the studying roommate is studying, and ask her to go out to eat and chat; you can also advise the studying roommate to wear earplugs, or ask her to go to the library to study together. If the love of learning roommate is to think that the star chasing roommate this will play with objects, delay learning, then we have to convey her good intentions to the star chasing roommate, and advise the love of learning roommate next time to change a euphemistic way to persuade the talent is good; but also to advise the star chasing roommate to chase the star can be a hobby, but not all of life, the current stage is still to take the study as the most important. The last is to persuade them to make up, tell them that we can get together as roommates is a great destiny, not because the other side has different hobbies on the other side of the denial, we have to learn to tolerate and respect, and enjoy this short time to go to school and live in the dormitory together happily!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1957
       },
       {
        "question": "What about a 24 year old girl who has been addicted to novels for 6 years and can't quit repeatedly?",
        "description": "When I was in high school, I was ranked first in Arts, but after I failed in the college entrance examination, I got addicted to novels, and after that, I was in a vicious circle, and my whole mental state became negative, and I often felt that my life was vain and had no direction. In reality, I have a deep inferiority complex under my indifference and arrogance. After reading the novels, I regretted very much, and I would make strict goal planning for myself in an attempt to make changes, but the regret and guilt could not support me for long, and it was hard to accomplish the set goals. I have a serious problem with procrastination, and not because I can't finish my work, but because I subconsciously divert my attention from my studies. I feel very difficult, I hope to get help and effective intervention, thank you.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Procrastination, Cell Phone Dependency, Emptiness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, a gentle hug to you. I was also addicted to all kinds of novels in high school, and until now I occasionally read novels to decompress, but the shift from being addicted to gradually being able to control it was when I realized that it wasn't the novels themselves that I loved, and that novels were just a way for me to escape from the pressures of reality. Fiction as such offers wonderful dreamscapes, it's like a temporary refuge where I can catch my breath and recuperate for a while. This can be fiction or anything else, so the key is not the act of \"indulging in fiction\" itself. What matters is how you see yourself and how you plan your life afterward. I've never tried to \"kick\" any of my behavioral \"addictions,\" but instead I've used them as a variety of tools for relieving emotional stress, evaluating the pros and cons of each, and evaluating life in general. Occasionally I let myself indulge and then withdraw those desires. Life is a dynamic balance, for example, if you read a novel for a long time today, tomorrow you can make up for, or even just part of, the progress you've pulled off, and make plans for later, and it's actually OK, everyone can live differently. For you, the difficult part right now is that life seems to have entered a state of imbalance. You keep making strict plans for yourself, but then you keep breaking them, and eventually even the very act of making strict plans becomes a form of \"guilt\" compensation. \"I've already done this rigorous planning, I've already tried, I've really done it.\" [Replacing a strict plan with a weekly \"challenge task\"] The questioner mentioned that he felt that his life was empty and without direction, and that the direction of his life could hardly be accomplished in one day by making a plan, checking information, and it would be a long process. This process is also the process of recognizing yourself. Because of emotional distress, we do less and less of the things we used to be able to do or that others usually do, perhaps because doing these things makes us experience difficult feelings, such as calling a friend, having dinner, or not going for a ride. This week, choose to accomplish a task that meets the following 3 characteristics: a task that you used to be able to do in your daily life and work, that others usually do, and that you are able to do by putting in some effort. For example, make a phone call to a friend, do the elevator, speak in public, finish something that is long overdue, etc. Please note, choose a task that is somewhat challenging, and when choosing a task be sure to first evaluate if the task is something you can accomplish this week. Also, the only criterion for accomplishing a task is whether or not things can be done, not whether or not hard feelings arise in the process. Typically, the odds are that hard feelings will come up, and what we need to do is not to suppress or fight it, but to allow it to be there, but focus on accomplishing the task itself. In this way, you will have the opportunity to realize that hard feelings will come and go, that they are like flowers, they will bloom and fail, they have their natural cycle, and they do not affect whether or not you are able to complete the task. Reward: After determining the task, set a reward for yourself, such as eating an ice cream, watching a movie, etc. Be sure to reward yourself when you complete the task. For example, the subject could set reading a novel as a prize. If it is too difficult, it is very recommended that the subject can find trusted friends, elders, netizens to chat, but also to seek psychological hotline or a suitable counselor's help, sometimes, a person as long as they are \"seen\", ta will have the strength to the sun to be born. It's going to be a long journey, but there will always be sunshine after the rain! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good afternoon, question girl! Thank you for the trust and the invitation to answer, in this winter afternoon, we met in the middle of this problem, after reading through, there is a kind of d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu feeling, why? At present, my lover is also \"addicted\" to network novels for more than a year, why use quotation marks, although sometimes I communicate with her, she also has a passive and positive communication, but most of the time still stay in the passive and negative type of communication, of course, if she is in good communication with me, the kind of communication moments that can be deep into the heart, but also for each other to promote the significance. facilitated for each other, i.e., not at all moments in that engrossed state. Then, according to her, it is the reality of some work, family of origin and other problems, do not want to face up to, so through the novel way to relieve pressure. Maybe her situation is similar to the girl in question but not exactly the same, let's talk sentence by sentence to see if there is some help and inspiration. When I was in high school, I ranked first in the liberal arts, but since I lost the college entrance exam, I've been hooked on novels, and since then it's been a vicious cycle, and I've become negative in my mental state, and I've often felt that my life is empty and directionless. This sentence of a wave of three twists and turns, we see, first of all, the high school steady first in the liberal arts, indicating that the subject girl at that time in the liberal arts in the ability and confidence are full, the college entrance examination failure is a turning point, we see, this serious blow until now (since the college entrance examination projected to have 4-5 years of time) is still in some form to continue. Then, the girl you actually have this awareness, also know that this state may not be their ideal state, that is to say at that time, after this serious blow, we did not from the more positive or rather, more appropriate way, to this suppressed to the inner frustration, self-denial of energy, completely good release. There is no doubt that the blow itself would have been a serious blow to anyone, and the fact that we still have not come out of it, even after a considerable amount of time has passed, suggests that there are still factors in our current interpretation of the blow that can contribute to self-absorption. Possibly the psychoanalytic school or cognitive behavioral therapy, are two entry points in this regard. I'm sure that other respondents will inevitably expound on this more due to the mainstream of spermatization, so I'm not going to go into this piece. In reality, there is a deep inferiority complex underneath the indifference and arrogance, and after reading the novel, I regretted very much, and would make strict goal planning for myself in an attempt to change, but the regret and guilt could not support me for long, and it was very difficult to accomplish the set goal. Indifference and arrogance and low self-esteem, in fact, is a principle of the two embodiments, in this regard, I believe that the girl your self-study ability, suggest that you go to read a book, Adler's \"inferiority and beyond\", from the perspective of individual psychology, we need to re-interpretation of the college entrance examination failure. Regret and guilt, the need for a similar sublimation of the feeling, to replace it, similar to the process of motivation or transformation, since the subject girl is good at reading, it may be worthwhile to read some classics or biographies, with the help of their charisma and role model power, to try to see if you can be inspired by one or two. In the end, it is inevitably a journey of self-growth, believe that they can do is a prerequisite. Specific methods, may also be involved in this \"addiction\" of the withdrawal problem, in fact, change or establish a habit usually takes 21 days, the girl may wish to consider some of the activities of the platform to participate in, you can notice, each time basically 15 days or 21 days of the setting, you use another habit to replace the reading of fiction! Habit, may also be a fast and appropriate method, may wish to try. I've been procrastinating a lot, and it's not that I can't finish it, it's that I'm subconsciously distracting myself from studying. It's hard to get through, and I'd appreciate help and effective intervention, thank you. Back to the original point of the problem, on the one hand, to re-interpret the meaning of the failure of the college entrance examination for our next step in life, since suffering is unavoidable, we need to re-give suffering a new meaning. On the other hand, try to establish a new habit to replace the previous habit, because the daily time and energy are fixed, can do this, can not do that. In the process of establishing a new habit, more positive emotions, and learn to record the daily progress, you can also try to learn a positive psychology course on the Internet (there are a lot of free resources on the Internet in this regard). Let's work together to improve our mental state, and together we can be a person who is good at finding the beauty of life, okay? Above, good luck! The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject. I love reading novels, the kind that I can stay up all night just to read them. And I've been reading novels since I was a freshman in college until now. At first, I was addicted to the world of novels, thinking that the reality remembers that boys are not good enough and girls are not delicate enough. I feel that I have my own spiritual support in novels. Are you like that? When I was in my junior year of college, I learned to plan my future life, and novels became a reward for every time I accomplished a goal! There's something sweet about a little kid being rewarded with a candy bar! You can try it yo I still love novels, I just have to force myself to practice the mind mapping in the book (my shortcoming, the kind I dislike so much) after every time I read a novel. When reading a novel becomes a task, not a pastime, the interest in it diminishes a lot This is my method, I don't know if it works for you? I hope it can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Here, a hug, for no good reason. First, I'd like you to seriously think about what your life would be like if your fiction addiction kicked in. Would your strict goals be accomplished? Would your procrastination be better? Would you become positive? Would your life have direction? The odds are that your goal fulfillment would be better, your procrastination would be better, you'd be more positive, and the direction of your life, that's too grandiose, and still not clear even in my shallow insight. But if your fiction addiction kicked in, what would be the reason you couldn't accomplish your goals? What would be the reason you still procrastinate? In the book The Courage to be Hated, it is written that \"you are the one who actively chooses how you live your life,\" and \"the reason you can't change is because you've made up your mind not to change. \" From a developmental point of view, problems don't naturally exist all the time, and if they do, someone must have done something about it. In the case of the subject, her behavior has been to maintain the perception that \"I am addicted to fiction,\" which means that she has subconsciously made up her mind not to change. All those who only mention the problem and look for the cause without giving the method are hooligans. I'll provide an unsophisticated method to change the subject's problem. Psychologist Vatslavik wrote a book called \"Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Resolution\", which divides change into first-order and second-order change. First order change is a change in the state of the thing. For example, if I'm addicted to novels, then I'm going to stop reading novels from now on. The second order of change is that the thing or the person, itself, has changed. That is, a qualitative change has occurred. For example, if I am addicted to novels, from now on, I will still read novels, but I will control the time I spend reading novels within a reasonable range, and it will not affect my work and life. The first order of change works easily at first. For example, I don't read novels today, I don't read novels tomorrow, I insisted on not reading novels for 21 (for novel addicts, this is very difficult), and then you say, wow, what a sense of accomplishment, I can't believe that I insisted on not reading for 21 days, my work didn't have to invest in the research and finished the task long before the DDL, reward yourself with reading novels for a while. The solution to the problem becomes what keeps the problem in existence. The hard part is the second order change, which means changing the person. Definitely using a completely different strategy than the first order of change is something that is never done. (If it is something that would have been done before, using a solution that still won't solve the problem.) So, let's not discuss the matter of novel addiction itself, let's focus on how to keep the matter of reading novels from affecting our lives. Starting today, little by little, reduce the time you spend reading novels. Use the time you spent reading novels to accomplish other things, and find more fulfillment, responsibility, identity, etc. in other meaningful things. Slowly, reading novels will become your occasional pastime. For individuals who are not strong-willed enough, I recommend building strong bonds with other people, other organizations, and letting the rules of the group carry you along. Occasionally positive and motivated counselor, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 147
       },
       {
        "question": "You have to go to the entrance exams in a few days, you're particularly bad at math, and you're high on the world?",
        "description": "I think I'm too stupid, I have to go to the college entrance exam in a few days, but my math score is not suitable for the entrance exam, especially bad, I seem to be sick is very uncomfortable but do not know where it is uncomfortable I seem to be high up in the world, how to commit suicide without pain",
        "keywords": "Growth, Stress Management, Work Study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the subject is about to take the college entrance examination, you feel uncomfortable, it may be just because the psychological pressure is too much. You can go to the hospital to do a checkup, if the physical examination is no problem, you can go to see a psychiatrist. In the last few days, you don't have to work too hard on your studies, and relaxing your mind and body is the most important thing. Keep yourself in a relaxed and good state in order to play your normal level. The college entrance examination is to see the total score, if you are only bad at math, other subjects are okay, that's okay, as long as the final total score is okay, you can still go to a very good university. The last few days, learning can be a little review review those who need to know the content, and math and other subjects, may be a short period of time to improve will be more difficult, you can first put aside. Everyone has their own strengths, weaknesses, maybe math is not your strong point, you can not go to force, not to mention because of math is not good, to deny all of yourself. You feel high on the world, this is the first time I've seen such a description, and although it's a negative way to put it, the fact that you can describe it this way at least shows that you're special. The world is complicated and other people aren't as good as you think they are, maybe you're just noticing other people's strengths and only seeing your own weaknesses. Try to look at it from a different perspective, to see your own strengths as well as the weaknesses of others. You are not high on the world. There is no painless way to commit suicide, you are still young, you have not even formally entered this society, is it possible to give yourself another chance to see this wide world? Relax your mind and prepare for your exams without fear! Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18082
       },
       {
        "question": "A love of lying, and a small, ordinary thing can cause one to lie?",
        "description": "For example, my sister suddenly said she wanted to come to my house, I was reluctant, I immediately said, I have to go to class, quite busy, you want to change the day? In fact, I don't have a class, I just don't have the heart to prepare, so I lied, many things are like this, lying has become a habit, I can't control it. I can't control it. What can I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Compulsion, Stress, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~It's true that the owner didn't tell the truth, but the owner was also telling a good lie. It is also in order to not let others feel bad, so only to say goodwill lies. Sister suddenly said to come to your home, the owner of the heart is not willing, certainly can not directly tell sister, I do not want you to come ah. If you tell the truth, it will make the other person feel uncomfortable, and it will also affect the relationship between you. So this time a good lie is very important. Not only can make sister not come to your home today but also will not affect the feelings between you, both to satisfy themselves, but also did not hurt others. In fact, strictly speaking, this can not be regarded as an absolute lie, just find an excuse. As long as the lies we tell do not hurt others, then there is no need to blame ourselves and feel guilty.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 111,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 111,
            "end": 229,
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           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11475
       },
       {
        "question": "I miss my first love, but he's already had kids and is a good father and husband, right?",
        "description": "Go to Harbin to participate in a friend's wedding, that city is with the first love of the university period with the city, the wedding in the Central Avenue near, walking in that street, we used to be together very sweet, in this street, the scenery has not changed at all, but things are not the same, the memories of the past madness surged to the heart. Separated because after graduate school long-distance, I was too stubborn, he said to me the last word is not to hurt themselves, and now touching feelings, very much like him. When I was in graduate school, he said he wanted to come to me, I said no. When he got married, he added me to WeChat, and I didn't pay attention to him. Yesterday secretly add back to his qq, love to listen to inside is already children's songs. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good deal on this. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal of money from the company, but I'm sure you'll be able to get a good deal of money from the company. But his baby should also be very cute, I do not dare to say a word. You must be a good father and a good husband. Maybe in another parallel universe, I'm not so stubborn that I don't ever hurt you.",
        "keywords": "Love, love lost",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the subject. First love is pure and beautiful, even unapologetic, it feels like, to understand love with any theory is an offense. Time and life will always push us forward, and things change like that, and it's not something we can control. The subject's first love, this feeling, this person, always in the subject's heart is so beautiful, so difficult to let go, so far the heart belongs to. The subject is now immersed in the sadness of the emotions, with tears as a vent, emotions come up, it is not easy to resist. But I hope that after the subject cried, dry your tears, continue to look forward to life, believe that your that he, is not far away waiting for you. The friends around you are starting to get married, but you are your own ah, your life is your own it, so, continue to move forward! Cheer up.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject, ~~ I'm sorry to see you feel sad because of nostalgia for the past, hug you ah ~ I can understand your regret because you lost a good relationship, because it is difficult to meet a good man, especially because girls from childhood is more mature than the boys, it is difficult for girls to meet a calm, intelligent opposite sex that they appreciate, you must be afraid that in the future you can no longer meet more suitable than the person, right. In fact, I think your sadness and grief are because you are too focused on the current situation, and did not think about the time line to think about the problem, when you proposed to separate you also forgot to look at the time line to see the problem, you must not have thought of the exam after you will not regret this decision, will not be because of the idle hope that someone is around to keep you company. Once you have this kind of thinking, after the time line longer, forty or fifty years later, the future you will meet a more suitable person, you will never be sad for the former first love, when you focus on their own life, full and happy. I have met some people who have touched me, those details are still vivid in my mind, I think I miss it because I missed it, and missing it is what makes it feel infinitely better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7312
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know anything. Should I live with myself?",
        "description": "I would love to be alone, I have nothing to do at work, I want to be very lively too, very useful not to do anything, should I do more to change myself",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, finding the most comfortable way to love yourself, whether it's alone or with others, is a sign of loving yourself. From your description, I can feel your tangle and contradiction. On the one hand, you want to be alone, but on the other hand, you also want to be lively and do something to change yourself. In fact, these two are not in conflict, you can choose to go to work, serious efforts to learn more things, since useful or some seemingly useless to the current life of things, may be in the future to bring you some opportunities. If you do not do something that is very useful and you do it, you can of course continue to do it when it can be financially rewarding or bring you joy. Everyone has the right to choose their own way of life, what to do, there are certain considerations, if you can achieve their own goals, then all roads lead to Rome. Too \"comfortable\" life, easy to make people loose spirit, we may need to give ourselves some challenges from time to time, so that they can grow, rather than stand still. When you ask a question, you may already have a desire to change, but lack the courage and motivation to do so. You can start with simple things and set some plans for yourself, such as how long are you going to spend learning a new thing or skill while you are at work? How are you going to learn or do certain things? How do you plan to solve problems and difficulties you encounter? And so on. During breaks, you can allow yourself to completely let go, rest and have proper entertainment to help you store up your energy. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15616
       },
       {
        "question": "Your child is almost 4 years old and is always tearing up at the slightest thing?",
        "description": "Hi, my child is almost 4 years old, but she always cries her heart out over the smallest things (such as a chair not being set up the way she wants it, or a cup of water with water on the outside), and she feels especially devastated, so what's the best way to deal with this?",
        "keywords": "Growth, child development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "1. A 4-year-old child having such a compulsive mindset indicates that the mother or caregiver has very little, if any, attention towards her, hence she resorts to heart-wrenching cries to seek attention. 2. Let me interpret the child's cries: \"Mom, please look at me! Mom, please show me more love! Mom, I need your care! Mom, why can't you see me?! Mom, did you hear my cries? Did you receive my heartfelt voice?\" 3. All the child needs is love from their parents.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20158
       },
       {
        "question": "I pondered if I was going to college just to achieve what others see in me.",
        "description": "Background: Failed the secondary school examination and went to a technical school. I was not too good at school since I was a child, and because I suffered from school violence in junior high school, I began to want to escape. Almost lights up to stay alive to study. I knew that I could not last long enough to grow up in peace. However, everyone around me treated me the same, and I didn't trust anyone. I grew up with discrimination and gossip. Because of my low self-esteem, I didn't know how to stand up for myself. Even now it's the same, I hate it when people treat me a little bit better. Before I have a question others always borrow my cell phone what should I do. However, what I got was always a refusal from you. I can't refuse someone's request from the bottom of my heart. (Unable to defend their rights and interests) I technical school has not been painful, even tormented. I underestimated the viciousness of human nature. In my present view probably, when I was dressed better, I was asked by the teacher what my family did. (by others in the eyes, the conditions are not so good, but swollen face) But, that will be, buy things, constantly buy things, crazy buy high-grade things, seems to fill my inferiority complex. Moreover, my classmates seemed to be hostile to me intentionally or unintentionally. Am I or am I not giving others a look, so read the college.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Work-Study, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, I can sense that your early upbringing was not ideal or even difficult, and your struggle to get to where you are now has taken more of an emotional toll than others to achieve, hugs to you! I'm very happy to see that you're thinking and realizing a lot about yourself, and I feel that you have more power to make a difference in your life. It's not easy for a person to move beyond the trauma of early upbringing, or the constraints of family of origin on their personality, and it takes quite a bit of time and money, but as long as you don't give up and don't give in, you'll get what you want in the end, a more empowered, bounded, self-respecting, and capable version of yourself. We'll see, I'm waiting for the good news that comes with your step-by-step growth! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello, hug you ah ~ according to your description of \"I grew up in the discrimination and gossip ...... people treat me a little better, I hate to pull out my heart\", you may attribute the formation of their own personality to the attitude of the people around you, but that It's just a part of it, it depends more on the choices you make while growing up. In fact, even if a person grew up with very little ill will from the people around him or lack of love, if he has a very low opinion of himself or has a social phobia, all these reasons may lead to the emergence of the character you described. Regarding your description of \"unable to defend his rights and interests, unable to refuse others\", in fact, in real life, many people are able to detect words and colors, they can usually see the person is willing to help him or not, or lend him something, usually as long as you reveal your difficulties a little bit, he will be able to understand what you mean. About \"constantly buy things, seems to be able to fill my inferiority complex\", in fact, if this thing does not affect your normal life, do not be too nervous, because your money will one day be spent, to that time your life is stretched to the limit, even the basic three meals a day can not be guaranteed, perhaps you can quell the desire to buy. desire to buy. But this go-with-the-flow approach presupposes spending your own living expenses, not recklessly spending your parents' money or borrowing other people's money. So use it with caution.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5188
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I always want to get back at someone?",
        "description": "A classmate from 2 years ago approached me about my sister and now I realize that I want to get back at him and what should I do to get back at him.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Conflicts, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, and the anger towards the person who has hurt your sister ### I wonder what this classmate has done to hurt your sister? I can understand your anger, but if you use improper methods to get back at that classmate, aren't you making yourself into the same person as him? And it will also cause harm to yourself. How about trying to solve it in a reasonable way? Like, using the weapons of the law? ### I don't know exactly what that classmate did, so if you can tell me more about it, it can help you better. You can continue to ask questions and seek answers from other respondents Above is my little advice. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20755
       },
       {
        "question": "Sometimes extra gentle, the other side suddenly cranky, am I a dual personality?",
        "description": "I don't know if it's a double personality, one side sometimes they are especially gentle to people, especially gentle to small animals, the other side will suddenly be violent, and won't really hit people, will want to see the animals kill each other, but won't let the animals die or something, haven't hurt the life or something is very puzzled don't know if it's a",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dual personality is also called split personality and the two personalities of a person with split personality are separate from each other. They cannot co-exist with each other. I don't know if the owner has ever seen such a movie. The protagonist was originally a very stupid and stupid person (the main personality), eat a chocolate or a fever or something, suddenly become very smart, and the whole person's style of behavior and temperament is like a different person (sub-personality), when the protagonist BUFF over. The main personality doesn't know anything that happened before. It's kind of like the Hulk and Dr. Banner in Avengers. Separate from each other but sharing a body, something like that is a split personality. What you have is more of a case of you not expressing or letting out your negative emotions like anger and sadness through the right channels when you usually have them. Either by compromising, avoiding, or ignoring them. This leads to inner aggression being projected onto the critter. Just because you're kind and gentle, which is your main personality, doesn't mean you're not allowed to have emotions like anger, sadness, and grief. Having these emotions also doesn't mean you stop being kind and gentle. You are still a very good person. When you have negative emotions, remember to express them so that you can see them and so that others can see them. (The analysis of your situation later is my guess, if it doesn't fit your actual situation please just let go of these words as a fart, don't take it too seriously.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Information"
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            "start": 148,
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            "start": 194,
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           },
           {
            "start": 339,
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           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10115
       },
       {
        "question": "Currently a junior in high school and feeling particularly distressed because of what I know about having children?",
        "description": "I am now in junior high school, now wear after that biology class, and after the exam my view of sex began to change, slowly change, I know that child birth is not my previous fantasy so innocent, so beautiful, after the fact no on the special trouble, feel the mood there is a kind of stone in the repression, and recently feel very painful, because I was thinking, if the future of marriage and child birth, will there be a need to do that between the room thing! But I think it is very hypocritical, because after all, human beings in the broadcast to broadcast those for sexual behavior bad, violation will be for their own kind of autism or suicide, so face to face, strangers, in the private parts of the private parts of their own to do things, people will go to loathe him, will be outbreak of him, so why human beings would like to be married like this have children? This like I am very bitter it, I hope others can help me, explain,, why wear clothes to cover their own? If for human beings then, isn't it to reveal the true self? Humans are much more hypocritical than animals. Thank you for listening to me.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Counseling, Behavioral Disorders, Talking and Listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject. I've tried to sort out your question with my own understanding: \u25cf I learned about sex in general through my biology course, and slowly learned that having children is not a nice thing to do; \u25cf Why do people have sex and choose to get married and have children when having children is not a nice thing to do? \u25cf Why do people prefer to get married and have children if they abhor certain forced sexual relationships? \u25cf For humans, revealing their true selves means sincerity, so why do they wear clothes to cover themselves and feel that humans are more hypocritical than animals? You are talking about several categories of things, if you want to make these several interconnected issues clear, you need a wealth of specialized knowledge and thorough logic. (I know a little about it, please correct me if I'm wrong.) Biological genetics requires that the birth of a child is uncomfortable, and the birth of a child is always accompanied by physical pain and psychological suffering, but human beings choose to have a child because of the need for genetic reproduction, which is also an instinctive choice. (Of course, people also have the freedom not to procreate.) The result of sublimation of love to have children is the natural result of the development of love between a man and a woman. Between heterosexual couples, love is a natural occurrence, and sex as a result of love is also a natural occurrence. In this case there is usually no coercion of one party by the other, for most people, the feelings of men and women after enough bonding to get sublimated, slowly occurring strong feelings of mutual attachment (this process is very subtle and complex, not in a nutshell), in the right time they will have the intention of living together, which requires the courage and confidence of both parties, because the future has too many unknown and unexpected situations, only, love transcends the difficulties themselves, and each other bravely overcomes the psychological barriers and makes up their minds to start a family, at which point, for them, marriage and children are a matter of course. Why do people expose illicit sex? It is voluntary to get married and have children with the one you love, but it is illegal to be coerced into having sex, and this illegality means that the citizen's right to life and health is being violated. The former and the latter are two completely different things in nature and are not usually discussed together. In your young mind, you may temporarily think that all sex-related behaviors are of the same nature, but obviously, this is very wrong. Voluntary and forced feelings are two opposite feelings, forced to bring extreme pain and suffering will bring a series of psychological problems, people absolutely do not want to suffer that kind of pain, so in order to protect themselves, to protect their rights and interests, will take the initiative to bravely expose the evil behavior, hoping that they will be duly punished. In this way to obtain psychological compensation, to obtain the release of anxious and painful emotions. The motivation for intimate restorative surgery is that a person is under some kind of pressure to cater to the needs of others, a sign of non-acceptance of oneself, as a way to cover up one's past experiences, a personal choice. Baring and nudity are not the same concept Baring is usually revealing one's heart, being honest, and exchanging sincerity for sincerity; however, being completely naked in the unclothed kind of way is an immoral act, and for a sane person does not rely on nudity and exposure to make him or her appear to be bared and sincere. Animals do not realize that it is immoral for them to go without clothes, and this is because animals do not have the concept of shame in their minds, nor do they have the same wealth of cognition as humans. That's a little insight from me, hope it helps.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! I can understand how you feel ~ back when I was in school, sex education was not that widespread in schools. By the time I was a senior in high school, I still thought that, as long as a man and a woman were simply in a bed, the woman would get pregnant. Until one day, a girl in one of the dormitories, showed us an adult movie, and only then did I realize what was going on, and it's still kind of funny now that I think about it. You probably have this view of sex because you've heard so much news about being sexually assaulted in real life that you have some misconceptions about it. A lot of times the fear comes from our lack of understanding. Being sexually assaulted by a stranger is not the same in nature as being in a relationship, getting married and having children. Having sex between two people who are in a relationship or married is not sexual assault because it is consensual. When you grow up, you will understand that two people who love each other having intimate behavior together is a happy thing. For now it's still about studying and protecting yourself, you can also learn about basic sexual knowledge, maybe if you understand it you won't think about it. \u3297\ufe0f academic progress!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! I see your distress and want to hug you ~ you're in your junior year of high school, and what you learned about sex in biology class made you feel horrible and hypocritical. Maybe it's because the teacher thinks that sex is something that shouldn't happen for your age, so she makes it sound too serious and scary. But sex itself is not scary, but it really shouldn't happen at your age. People are always fearful and repulsed by ignorance, this mentality is normal, don't worry. Now that you've learned about the origins of life and know where having children comes from, this knowledge is something we should all know. You do not have to rush to agonize over these issues, your age is still young, you can slowly and comprehensively understand these things in the future, but must be from the formal channels to understand, can not go to receive some of the side channels, because for your age, discernment is not so strong, this is a very normal thing, not to say that you are not where the right Oh. Everyone is from this age, it is really difficult to understand a lot of things when you are young, after all, it takes time and experience to accumulate everyone to understand a lot of things ah! So you are now the most important thing is to study well, you suffer things will be with the passage of time and your learning to help you solve. But remember, do not listen to the words of others to try, everyone's choice will have a great impact on the future, do not do things you can not control can not control, or regret the opportunity to have no oh. Come on little cute, study hard, your suffering will be with your insight plus learning will find the answer one by one. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that! Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! At the age of 13 your views on sex started to change after your biology class, I wonder how your teachers went about this part at school? You're still young and it's possible that the teacher didn't speak comprehensively enough or was too direct and made a change in the matter of sex, you think about the pain that comes with sex and feel hypocritical about all that. It may be related to the topics you receive about sex, the society spreads more may be about sexual assault, molestation and other topics, for adolescent sex education is not enough. First of all have sex is based on equality, have feelings, each other under informed consent, the age is in the adult, in the traditional education, there will be female sexual shame culture, so that some women feel that sex is dirty and evil. In fact, sex with emotional basis is the pleasure and fulfillment of each other's body. Why do human beings get married and have children? Nowadays, there are actually non-married people, Dink families, etc. These are all choices made by adults themselves, and there is no right or wrong in these choices without harming others. Human beings are different from animals in that we have our own will and emotions that will be governed by laws and morals. Wearing clothes is also one of the civilized manifestations of human evolution, and the honesty and sincerity between people is spiritual and psychological. It is suggested that the subject can learn more about sex education on B-site or on a specialized public number that does sex education. At this stage, the subject has about the sex of the understanding and knowledge may still not be comprehensive enough, may cause you misunderstanding or bring panic, slowly, do not rush.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to see you come to ask a question because you are good at identifying the problem and finding a reasonable way to solve it, and I don't believe that you will witness your own wisdom in this help-seeking in the future with the development of time. Everyone goes through puberty in the process of growing up, in which our body develops rapidly, but because of the high pressure of study and the insufficiency of sex education in our country, it is easy for people to have some doubts. This is normal. Your knowledge about sex is still in the ignorant stage, but from your description, I see part of the fear that should not be there. You seem to see the bad side of sex in some bad examples around you, and feel as if people should be more honest with each other, so let me share this with you. First of all, we currently ingest information in a way that seems to be a lot, but because of the impact of big data, in fact, the focus is more and more narrow, and some of the news is what the eyeballs on what to write, just like the year of the shocking body, what the contradiction between the big on what to write, for example, the community expects college students to be higher that the quality of the higher, so college students can also be on the news for cheating, who cheats on a driver's license will be on the news? Not to mention if you commit something more serious than cheating. The same goes for sex. People will always focus on what they need to focus on. It's like when you watch the news broadcasts, it's national events, world news, because that concerns everyone in the country, and wars can threaten the whole world. So it's important for everyone to know that they've finished their exams, that the exam results concern everyone in the class, and if they want to get into a major high school, they also have to pay attention to their ranking in the district unit. So the results need to be known to every student, but not necessarily to those in the school next door. Your family is planning to go out on a trip next week and take your grandparents with you, so the event may be known only to people in your family or your close friends, and no one else, or the news, needs to know about it. And what about sex, it's something that only happens between you and your beloved, between two people, you see, is it necessary for other people to know? So it's understandable that you're confused. It's not that it's bad if you don't show it, you have to recognize it correctly. I wish you happy growing up yo.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, at your age, you have just begun to contact the knowledge of sex, there are some confusion, curiosity, contradiction, worry and even fear of the reaction is normal. Because our current sex education is still not sound enough, mature, and the mass media, once involved in the content of sex, and most of the curiosity, obscure, negative, which is easy to form a kind of misinformation - sex is not open and aboveboard, sex is vulgar, sex is shame, sex is accompanied by a sense of guilt. In fact, sex is the biological instinct of every human being, and there is really no need to regard it as a ferocious beast. It is only because of the late sexual maturity of human beings, premature sexual behavior is harmful to the physical and mental health of human beings, so in order to avoid minors to easily try to harm themselves, only to form a cultural tradition of sexual taboo. When a person becomes an adult, he or she has enough understanding of his or her body's physiological characteristics and sexual knowledge to be able to face it openly. At that time, falling in love, getting married, having sex, and reproducing offspring are all natural things, and there is no need to worry too much about them. At your age, it's not abnormal for you to feel repulsed or even disgusted by sex and reproduction, just don't put too much pressure on yourself, treat it correctly and let nature take its course, or else it may have a negative impact on your future life. If you can't get rid of these thoughts and are deeply disturbed by them, even delaying your normal studies and life, you should consider seeking the help of a psychological counselor, so that you can be guided by a professional.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, indeed, women give birth to a child is a particularly difficult thing, and the reproductive function is the most creative thing given to women by God Sex is not shameful, on the contrary, it is intimate, wonderful, but sex is not \"you want me to give\", but a kind of between two close people, the most intimate The act of giving birth to a child is indeed a particularly difficult thing, but for the continuation of love between two people, to the ripe time, two people will be for love, for the family and have sex, such sex is precious and beautiful, but also for this love, women will be willing to endure the pain of giving birth to a child the birth of a new life for both men and women is a kind of completeness, for our inner child is also a kind of healing. Mention of sex, in fact, many people will be taboo, even now, there are many parents will be because of such a taboo and do not dare to give their children sex education, and therefore, often hear many cases of sexual assault Sexual assault is a nightmare and a shadow for both girls and boys, so we should all the more to protect themselves. For sexual behavior, in fact, I personally am very disapproval of premarital sex, only put in marriage, sexual behavior is safe, marriage is a kind of commitment and responsibility. If you can't give you this commitment, how can you believe that he will be responsible for your happiness? # In for their own private parts to do things, people will go to the disgust of him, will break out his hymen is just a thin layer of membrane, but the love and feelings of the two people is definitely not just built on the basis of this layer of membrane, otherwise, such feelings will only be as fragile as this layer of membrane. #Why wear clothes to cover your own? Isn't it revealing your true self if it's for humans? Humans are much more hypocritical than animals hmmm, an interesting question, but if humans really bare their true selves like animals, then what is the difference between us humans and animals?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sex, is a two-sided knife. It can make you happy, but it can also break you. If you have sex without having children, it's for your own sexual desires. If you grow up and want to have sex with someone you love but don't want to get pregnant, then you need to be mentally and physically prepared. It's about contraception, and contraception isn't just a man's responsibility, it's your own. And it's not illegal to have sex with your boyfriend as an adult, you don't need to pay attention to other people's opinions at that point, but only if you protect yourself. And as for why you would choose someone like that to marry and have children. That's because some couples are not in a good relationship in the first place and they naively want to have a child to make up for their relationship. Or, they are in a good relationship, and after they have a child, they start to revolve around the child, and there is less communication between the two, the relationship fades, and they naturally get divorced. Another example is that there are some men who he is scum, but he is not easy to notice. Therefore, there is a saying that to see whether a man is a scum, have a child to know. And in my opinion, I pursue love, but I should at least have my own career. Suppose one day a girl breaks up, she at least has her own career to support herself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmates! China still has a lot of avoidance on the topic of sex, parents are not able to carry out the science of sex topic with you, let alone the teacher. It's also in front of so many students. There is no way for him to expand on this, and a lot of the information is understood by the students based on their own perceptions, so there will inevitably be misunderstandings in it. But the problem lies in the age of the students now, the knowledge of sex may be more from the Internet, which is filled with too many irresponsible, exaggerated components, no one may ask, no one can be more correct guidance. But the internet does not represent the majority of people, so please understand that human beings have flourished to this day because of love, not because of hate, violence or bloodshed, and at this stage you can put all this aside for a while, and wait for the right time when everything will be solved!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12912
       },
       {
        "question": "Sadness from time to time, sadness from time to time remembering childhood and adolescence?",
        "description": "From time to time, I think of the sadness of my childhood and youth, and I cry, and I keep telling myself that a lot of imperfections are also a normal part of life, and that not all of us have good schools and homeschools, and that it's not too late to start a lot of things now, but it's just so sad and frustrating, and at times I get lost and sad, and I fall into an empty abyss.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Anxiety, Confusion, Clutter",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, it's one thing to understand that life is full of imperfections, that not all of us have good schools and homeschools, and that it's not too late to do a lot of things, and to know that is one thing, but it still feels sad. It's still important to mention here the analogy in The Elephant and the Elephant Rider about our conscious and subconscious minds. Jonathan Haidt points out that our conscious reasoning and our subconscious emotions are like the elephant and the elephant rider. The elephant rider holds the reins in his hand and seems to be able to direct the elephant forward, but when the elephant rider is in conflict with the elephant, the elephant's power is too great for the elephant rider to counteract. Therefore, what the elephant rider can do is negotiate with the elephant to reach a common goal and move toward it. The elephant is like an emotional part of us that has its own automated operating system. We think the elephant rider is guiding the elephant, but in fact the elephant is guiding the elephant rider. For example, the advertisements that make us spend on impulse are actually the elephants making the choices. For example, when we see a product endorsed by an idol, what we see is the wonderful feeling the idol brings to us, and this feeling is less associated with the functional data of the product. By the same token, when the images of childhood and youth come out, the sadness of the emotional elephant will first pop up, and then the rationality of the elephant rider to control the part. And this is the time when the elephant rider can do a good job of calming the elephant for its emotions, such as meditation, spending some time with the emotional elephant and understanding it. If you can, you can take the next step and ask the elephant why he is so sad, and what he is actually trying to tell the elephant rider behind his sadness. For example, if you think back to your childhood when your parents scolded you, and you feel sad when you think of that image, behind this sadness may actually be a reminder for you to work hard. I hope the answer can over be helpful to you!Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, saw your distress and hope it can help you. Everyone has their own childhood and teenage memories, see your memories always bring you sadness, even crying, produce frustration, sadness and confusion, understand your mood and feelings very well, because I do not know what has happened, so only on your description to give you a few suggestions for your reference. First, give yourself permission to be sad. If it is indeed a bad memory, it is normal to have sadness, don't beat yourself up over it or deliberately repress it, seeing the wound is the beginning of healing. Find a release channel to channel your emotions. Secondly, do not dwell on the past. Prolonged stay in the memory of the past, I am afraid that not only will magnify the past hurt, not helpful, but also increase the emotional burden, affecting the present life, it is recommended to use their own way to update the memory bank, try to strengthen those good, bring positive meaning of the part, to find the power to return to the present. Third, stand in the future to see the present. You can try to write down what you hope to think of now in ten or twenty years, what are the main contents of the memory, and what are the things that are worth working for or operating for from now on? Or is it better to let the hurt in the past memories continue into the future? I believe your heart already has its own answer. Don't miss the past, don't fear the future, and don't live up to the present. May each day bring you something new.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sadness as a child is something that takes time to heal. It's not easy to comfort and support yourself. Mental scars really can't be healed with a few words of relief. To be truly empowered, you may need to look at what hurt you, how it prevented you from experiencing happiness, to understand it, to reconstruct it. Turn over the wound, remove the rotting flesh, apply medicine, and bandage it properly so that it can slowly heal. Of course, it takes courage to face the wound head on. But we can go over it with you under this issue. Maybe you've been licking yourself, and that's a hard thing to do. It's great to think of coming for help, and you can talk more about the past and go deeper for help if you want. But sometimes it's understandable if you don't want to explore that deep yet. You can start with some remedies to quickly ease the hurt. For example, by changing your cognitive strategies, actively planning for the future, by refining some of your goals and implementing them one step at a time. You should know that it is normal to fall into a funk once in a while, and human growth is all about spiraling upwards and sometimes backwards, so allow yourself to be frustrated once in a while, embrace it and soothe it, and wait for it to slowly fade away, there is no rush.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner: when we encounter something we just get sad, and if these things are very important to us old say, then the sadness will be deeper and longer time. Your question talks about home schooling and good schools, I think there are some untold stories here. From your words it looks like not only sadness but also frustration, I wonder what this part of frustration has brought you? Is it something from the past that is bothering you or is it the frustration and confusion you are currently experiencing? We need to go back and find out why, with the aim of seeing what happened to cause the current situation, and can we not make some changes? Make the present better for ourselves. Also when we make some changes, will the sadness, frustration and confusion change? Does it make a difference? Does it get better or worse? This part may allow us to adjust how we change. If you find that you don't have the strength to make a change perhaps ask yourself, am I wandering into my emotions right now? Do I want to change or do I want to go back to this emotion? Often we really do get stuck in our emotions and don't realize it, and it's just as hard to get out as it is to quit smoking or drinking, so falling into the abyss of emptiness isn't just a matter of whether we want to or not there's a physical reason for it. It's important to see that part and break it. In the end I hope you can see what you were doing when you were in a bad mood yourself, how did you do it? And how did you come out of it. See what you are doing and what you can do. See differently in order to do differently. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22015
       },
       {
        "question": "What about a 25 year old girl, in an arranged marriage?",
        "description": "Because of family disputes, my mother and I like to flee to my grandmother's home, they discussed a marriage for me, forcing me to agree to, in the coercion I had no choice but to compromise. But I have never been able to that looks shabby, no fun of the man to produce feelings, he seems to this also does not care, their family has been urging the marriage, the man seems to be a hundred show of good but not the slightest understanding of my desire. He just wanted me to marry him, and it made me sick! My mother and I were always outsiders in my grandmother's house. For the sake of a place, my mother tried to push me to hell. It suddenly occurred to me that my grandfather had ganged up on his relatives to force my father away, my mother whispered to me that my father was a homosexual, and I watched as my relatives on my father's side of the family came to my home to take care of my grandfather under the banner of taking care of my grandfather, and they took my grandfather's property and scolded my family for nibbling at my old age! And my father would just be humble and cowardly and run away with his paycheck. No one cared if I was an unhealthy person, no one cared what I thought, no one cared about my past or my future, they all lived in their own merry dreams. My miserable childhood went unhealed, school violence and being bullied by men was a lifelong shadow, I loathed the world, I trembled and wanted to die! Whenever my grandma and the girls were merry, I wanted to die!",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there ~ thank you so much for your feelings, hugs to you ~ I was so shocked and saddened to read your description of how there are still arranged marriages in the 21st century. I also can't imagine how hard and bad life would be if you married that person. Because you would have no place in that family just for their selfish desires at your expense. Marrying him is like a sheep in a tiger's mouth. It really isn't worth it and if there is any chance you can get away with it, I would suggest you get out. You are 25 years old and should have gone to school, I even think that even if you just leave that place and go out and get a job it would be a much better life than marrying into it. I don't know if you can be brave enough to break free for a bit, even though you say there is lots and lots of nothing you can do about it and bullying. Girl, I want to tell you that you're not worth sacrificing your whole life for their stupid ideas, no matter what the conditions are. Just think about how hard it would be to spend your whole life with someone you don't like, not to mention the fact that they most likely won't treat you well.Being 25 years old is having the ability to be independent, and even though you may not realize it or you're not very confident, you can be. If it were me, I'd take out a loan, go out and try it, and if you can this is your chance to turn it around. Sure there are some risks, and it may not be particularly easy to find a job right now, but at least it's a lot happier than living as they wish. Similar family strife is too complicated, if you do not understand the interests of the dispute, there is no discourse, it is recommended to try to stay away from, is the most simple and effective way. You have encountered a rough river, but it is possible to step over it if you are brave. Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Liu Feng Analysis: 25 year old girl, what to do in an arranged marriage? --1. What does it mean for a marriage to be arranged? It shows that you are not willing to take the initiative to take responsibility for your own marriage, you did not go to talk about boyfriends which is not responsible for their own marriage. Family members see this situation is very anxious, worried that you can not get married, become an old woman. They are discussing an arranged marriage for you, at least so that you can get married and have a home. This is at least for the future of their own into the old aunt, alone in the end much stronger. 2. want family members do not interfere with your marriage, simple, you can be responsible for their own marriages. If you take responsibility for your own marriage, they will not have the opportunity to take responsibility for your marriage. Just as you have your own boyfriend, others will not force you to have an arranged marriage. If you have a boyfriend and your family is still forcing you to marry someone else, you can ask the neighborhood committee, the Women's Federation, relatives and friends, and the neighbor's aunt to comment on the matter. Then you will get some people to support, let them go to negotiate with your family. This borrowing force is not good?3. They say you chew the old, then you have to prove that you are not chewing the old. How to prove? Not with the mouth to prove, but take action to prove. Eat home, live at home, you have to give money to the family. If you don't pay the family, you're an old man. No one cares if I'm an unhealthy person, no one cares what I think, no one cares about my past or my future, they're all living in their own happy dreams. My miserable childhood was unhealed, school violence and being bullied by men were my lifelong shadows, I loathed the world, I trembled and wanted to die! Whenever my grandma and the girls rejoice, I want to die! --1. Whether you are a congenial person or not is not a matter of you saying yes or no. Go to the hospital to check, the inspection report said. 2. How do you think only you know, how others think only others know. You want others to care about how you think, then you have to care about how others think. That's only fair.3. Yes, everyone lives in their own joyful dreams, everyone lives in their own life. It's a sign of taking responsibility for yourself. A sign of responsibility for one's own life. Only those who take responsibility for themselves can be happy. You keep expecting others to care what you think, your past, your future. This is a sign of not wanting to take responsibility for your own life. Those who do not take responsibility for themselves must expect others to take responsibility for them. And when others do come to take responsibility for them, they don't want to. Just as you don't take responsibility for your own marriage, your family arranges it for you. You don't want to do it again. What does this mean?4. School violence and being bullied by men is the shadow of my life, this sentence is enough to show that you are in the self-suggestion, then the whole life will certainly live in the shadow. The reason is that [the mind thinks...], the self-importance of the mind is the only way to accomplish anything. The self-suggestion is a kind of power, and your life will develop in the direction of self-suggestion.5. Self-suggestion is divided into [negative suggestion] and [positive suggestion]. People who wish to do well will suggest themselves positively and then develop in a positive direction as they should. Those who wish to be bad will be negatively suggesting themselves, and then rightfully going in the negative direction. That's where the mind comes from. So, how we are living now is something we have built with our own hands.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject: from your simple words, I can realize your heartache and helplessness. Who doesn't want to have a happy and harmonious family, and who doesn't want to find someone who really loves each other for the rest of their lives? It's true that there are some things you can't control, but there are also some things you have the right to choose. Let's start with your problem: because of family disputes, you came to your grandmother's house to \"foster\". Grandma and Grandpa don't treat you as one of their own. They gave you a marriage proposal and forced you to agree to it. But you really don't have any feelings for the other person, and they don't understand your feelings very well, so you feel especially disgusted. The relatives on your father's side of the family don't have much pity for you mother and daughter either. It's more about trying to get property from grandpa. In this world, it seems like no one cares about you, no one cares about your past or your future. Coupled with the fact that you were bullied by men in your childhood as well as violence in school, you are filled with despair for this world. However, as I said earlier, there are some things we can't change. For example, the attitude of grandma's family, the attitude of your dad's family, and the relationship between your families. These are things you have no way to change. But there are some things we can fight for and change. Because now you are not a child, you are of marriageable age, you are definitely of age to live on your own, even if you can get out of the \"foster\" life and live for yourself. As an adult in your 20s, you have the ability to control your own life. Since there's nothing in the house for you, why don't you go out on your own? You can even take your mom with you if possible. You can rent a house, life may be a little bitter, but at least you are living for yourself. Now is not the ancient time, there is no such thing as an arranged marriage. If it is true that you can't resist through some means by your family, then seek help from the government authorities. There is nothing to be afraid of, you may have a more difficult relationship with them, but your relationship is not good in the first place, is it? Your destiny is in your own hands, a moment of compromise may ruin your happiness for the rest of your life. Similarly, your past experiences may not have been nice or cruel. But the future is anyone's guess. As long as you don't give up, you can have a better tomorrow too. People say that the painful experiences of the past will eventually become your valuable assets. Maybe you don't feel it now, but you will slowly realize that you are more mature than others, more aware of human feelings, more able to protect yourself in society and so on. Since those people make your life so bad, if you compromise and give up, isn't it exactly what they want? Are you willing to do that? That's why it's all the more important for you to get up the courage to live for yourself now, so that you can make them look at you and make those who look down on you regret it. Lastly, we recommend that you listen to the \"Sea and Sky\" by the Hong Kong Philharmonic Orchestra, \"Sea and Sky after the brave, to take the persistence of the destiny of the locks to break. Indifferent people, thank you for ever belittling me. Let me not bow my head more wonderful live\". Last but not least, I wish the subject a wonderful life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "At 25 years old, you can get a job anywhere to support yourself, all you need is an ID and a pair of hardworking hands. Remember to look for the police and call 110, no one can violate your legal rights in China. If someone gets rough, fight back with whatever tools you have, it's self-defense and exempt from criminal liability. Buy a train ticket to a city. If there is no one to turn to, go directly to the nearest police station, women's federation or people's government. They will help you with your difficulties. Otherwise it's dereliction of duty and you can sue them. It's going to be hard, but definitely not harder than staying in that place and letting someone else control your whole life. If that doesn't work, keep in touch with me and I will guide you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The weak in this society are always being abused, I don't think we need to say anything about law, humanity, every person is independent. This is really something that no one can change. For the arranged marriage, my intention is to support, but you such a amount, how do you ask me to accept, is clearly bullying young people. This will be retribution. However, I prefer to believe that this is your neurotic and delusional description. Really. Bless you, take up arms, take up arms, and defend one's dignity. Bless you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Is it possible that this is the case your dad wasn't that cute in your grandpa's mind. Your family wasn't that important in your grandfather's mind either. It's perfectly fine for your grandfather to give his property to whomever he wants to give it to while he's alive and not give it to your family. Your dad and your mom don't have a good relationship. They quarreled with each other. But your mom still cares about you. She's still thinking of taking you to go back to grandma's house first. Because you're usually in bad shape too. And you've reached the age when you should get married in the eyes of the world. In order to care for you, mom and grandma picked a man for you that they thought was good. That man is not good-looking, but he likes you very much and treats you well. Your thoughts may be hard for others to understand. Because many people's thoughts are different from the general view and deviate from the facts. That man can't agree with your idea, and you have no interest at all in understanding that man. But no matter what, it was you who promised to marry this man. And you can certainly back out now. But others will blame you for not keeping your word, and that's something you'll have to live with. Is it possible that you're looking at it differently than the truth and you've got yourself wrong?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16278
       },
       {
        "question": "What about an 18 year old boy who hates someone so much that he keeps coming back to me?",
        "description": "Graduated this year at 18, hated a guy, that guy also had to come to a school with me,, didn't like talking to him and he kept coming back to me.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, housemates and classmates, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello, for we do not like the person or do not like to do things, can refuse then refuse, can not refuse, then need to learn to accept. From your description, we can see that you are currently troubled and troubled, you hate a person, but the other party has been \"sticky\" you, so you feel very helpless, do not know what to do. I'm not sure if you've had a frank conversation with the other person? If not, you may need to express your feelings and position, but pay attention to the wording, do not hurt the dignity of the other party, said they do not want to be friends with each other, hoping that the other party can choose a new friend or no longer bother them. Generally speaking, if we really hate a person, the other party can feel out, is it that you have not been clearly rejected? And the other party is nervous, did not find your hate? Therefore, you can seriously analyze, you hate each other where? Personality? Behavior? The way of doing things? etc., always let the other party to hear you hate him, feel \"convinced\" it. If you repeatedly expressed a clear rejection, the other side will still pester you, may need to do things \"absolute\" some, so that the other side know difficult to retreat, you can try to cold shoulder each other, when the other side to find you or want to play with, you can also be silent, over time, and then \"strong! \"He, too, will feel tired. Remember in the process, do not give each other any positive response, has been to \"indifference\" on the good, but do not use words or behavior to attack each other Oh. If you can't get rid of him, think about whether you have \"offended\" him, this kind of pestering is a kind of retaliation, you can talk with each other, solve the problem, do not interfere with each other, and do not waste each other's time. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Lou Lou, I'm glad I could help you. It is possible to reject people and things we don't like, it's instinctive and human. Just like I don't like cilantro, I will reject it in my heart and action, just as you loathe and reject this boy. First, you need to reject him clearly. You can tell him what you loathe about him such as his personality, character or something else, make some small suggestions. Be careful with the wording of your communication, don't be verbally aggressive or make verbal attacks. Try to avoid causing harm to others in terms of dating. Next, you can take a cold approach. Keep a distance from him, clearly reject him, but try to speak politely, do not bring unnecessary trouble to yourself, do not be a friend, but also do not be an enemy. I believe that if you rejected him many times he may know what to do. I hope my words can help you, good luck and peace.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, ---- hate from the subjective emotions of people, a person to produce a sense of aversion for many reasons: 1. three views do not match, as the saying goes, \"Roads are different, not to seek\", two people if the people and things will always be on opposite sides, it is difficult to become friends or even enemies. 2. If people always stand on the opposite side of things, it is difficult to become friends, and even become enemies. 2. that person has hurt you, may be words or behavior. 3. hate his behavior or character and other parts of the 4. instead of the type of aversion, perhaps you essentially hate is not the person, but with him there is some kind of connection between the people. ----- Here is just a brief list of a few situations, find the root of the problem to better solve it. I'm going to offer a little advice that I hope will help you.1. If it's because of something or a specific aspect of his life that makes you feel uncomfortable, and yet you still want to maintain the friendship between you, then go directly to communicate with him and openly express your thoughts, and I feel from the subject's words that your friend is still very much cherished by you. So there is no need to worry about the communication will produce a gap. 2. If the subject does not want to have too deep relationship with him, then in keeping the distance, with a respectful attitude towards him will be good, to a stranger we can keep a smile, let alone a familiar person. Don't need to care about him, that hate for him will become more and more faint.3. Hate a person, don't need to turn the other cheek, make both sides unhappy. \"The falsehood of a person, not in color; eat the loss of a person, do not move in the mouth.\" The so-called \"great wisdom must be modest, great goodness must be tolerant. Being kind to others is an important part of interpersonal communication. \ufe0f\ufe0fThe above is only my own humble opinion, but I sincerely hope to bring you some new ideas, thanks for meeting! \ufe0f\ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14312
       },
       {
        "question": "Can't walk away from a divorce, always wanting to go to him, is it love for him or a psychological problem?",
        "description": "Husband has serious cold violence, but I also belong to the special work, encounter problems will not be the right way to solve, only serious venting emotions, in the case of he did not come home for several months, completely refused to communicate with me, we divorced. As I hated him for not returning my messages for several months, I also gambled on not saying a word to him during the divorce, and he didn't either. I was very disappointed and felt that he was an unworthy person, but after the divorce, I often thought of him, thought of his goodness, regretted that I didn't solve the problems in the right way, blamed myself for why I was so made in the relationship and felt that I had paid less for my own marital problems, and always thought of my own badness, instead of completely ignoring his irritability. I feel that I have given less in the marriage and always think of my own faults, but completely ignore his irritability, indifference, desperation and the harm he has done to me. I can't let go of this relationship this person, I can't control myself to find him, I don't know why I can't let go of an unworthy person, when I heard from my friends that he was living a very dashing life, giving the impression that he was completely unaffected by the divorce, I'm particularly resentful, I feel that he is heartless and hate him, but also can't let go of him, and sometimes I want to forgive, and sometimes want to retaliate, and sometimes I hate him and sometimes I feel that he is also not easy. I feel that he is not easy, have compassion, my tangled where in the end, I am because I love him or because of psychological problems?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, divorce",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, after divorce, can't let go of each other. I feel that the other person is heartless, but at the same time, I can not let go of the other person. Sometimes I hate him, but sometimes I think he is not easy. There are some tangles. Is this tangle appeared when we were married, or after the divorce? If reason has analyzed that he is not a worthy person, what is it that you can't let go of emotionally? In psychology, there is a psychological called \"avoidance conflict\", that is, want something very much, but do not want to have this thing do not like the side, will produce avoidance conflict. For example, this conflict often arises when choosing a partner: A has money but is too busy to spend time with his partner; B is very considerate and family-oriented but has no money. One of the ways to help you choose is called \"benefit analysis\", that is, to list the good and bad points of the matter, and after listing these, the tangles will be much less. Maybe you can also find a quiet time to think about, in the marriage you stay, you do not like the list, take a good look, maybe you will no longer entangled.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 111,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 111,
            "end": 209,
            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 209,
            "end": 270,
            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 270,
            "end": 324,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, see you put a little spiteful woman's love and hate interpretation of the best, really understand your feelings, and feel sorry for you it First of all, we must understand that your those ideas, not out of love for him, is not a psychological problem, but the natural reaction of people. After all, you have been deeply in love, those marks can not be erased, the same can not be erased and each other hurt. You want him so much, he appeared in front of you again, I guess you may not have a good face each other, so it is better to see than to miss it. There is a concept called quality world inside the reality therapy, that is, each of us has a small heart world, which has the most concerned about the picture, such as certain people, certain things and certain concepts, from the time we were born soon began to a little bit of the formation and growth, most of the time we have been communicating with this small world, it is the Shangri-La in our hearts, once we have, there is nothing else we want! Once we have it, there is nothing else we can ask for! Just fulfilling one tiny image inside is enough to make us happy for a while. Unfortunately, your ex-husband is one of those images, and although we're not interested in him anymore, the quality world has always been easy to fill and hard to pour out, so it's hard for us to remove him from it, and for the time being, it doesn't seem to be much of a necessity. You understand the concept a bit, so you can see that you take your thoughts for granted. And knowing that everything you think is a normal heart reaction, you don't have to dwell on anything, even if you may be a little lost for a while. Of course, if he still has the luxury of hope, may wish to rethink his bad, if we have a way to make him better, after some can accept those unpleasant manifestations of his, may wish to continue to try with him, rare he has had a very good place in our hearts, re-upping will be easier. And if it is absolutely difficult to accept his bad words, might as well try to start a new relationship, it is said that the new feelings to cure feelings of injury fast and effective, and so there is a new love you do not have much time to nostalgia, things naturally also solved. When you're not doing anything, don't bother prying into his news or commenting on how he's doing, that's how past lovers and current strangers behave, it has nothing to do with us anymore. Either we fix him or we don't dwell on it. That's the right way to open up. That's all, have a good day and find a fulfilling relationship soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! Very understand your feelings and sympathize with you! The hard-earned marital relationship, in the cold war and gambling, in the \"confused\" end, really makes people very hurt, very disappointed. Thus experienced a series of emotions: [self-blame, regret, resentment, pity, loss], in fact, are very normal, emotional trauma brought about by the emotional experience is often complex and varied, capricious, but behind these emotions have a common basis, that is - you can not let go, you still care! After all, I think the first thing to do is to [heal the trauma] and [reflective learning], the more painful experience and emotional experience, often contains more huge potential for change. The more painful the experience and emotional experience, the greater the potential for change. How to heal this trauma \u2460 face the present, try to accept the fact of divorce \u2461 recognize and release their own emotions \u25c6 write some emotional diary \u25c6 find a good friend to confide in \u25c6 find a quiet place, crying and shouting \u25c6 listen to your favorite music \u25c6 aerobics \u2462 read books, learning will make their hearts at ease and become better \u2463 try to develop some hobbies and interests, distraction \u2464 every day, more to give yourself affirmation and a positive response to give themselves confidence and strength \u2465 think more about his shortcomings, more to think of the future, more to think of the future. If you want to rebuild your marriage, ask yourself a few questions: 1) What are your fundamental conflicts? 2) After rebuilding your marriage, are you capable of overcoming and changing these conflicts? 3) Are there any shortcomings in the other person that you can't accept no matter how you look at them? In fact, after listening to the owner's description, I feel that you just have some communication problems - 'you have been chasing (serious venting of emotions), he has been fleeing (serious cold war)', not difficult to reconcile the core values of the differences and intolerable domestic violence, pornography, gambling and drugs and other vices, so it is a bit of a pity to separate. I think the owner can slightly lower posture, find an opportunity to take the initiative and each other to sit down and talk about their own feelings and thoughts, and even express their dependence on each other and the need, there may be more opportunities; even if it fails to do as desired, but also a very good goodbye, a goodbye to put down properly! In addition, communication conflicts between husband and wife, is very common, my lover is also a girl who likes to vent her emotions, sometimes quarrels she has no qualms about attacking me after, either directly pull me black, I do not even have the opportunity to explain to speak, or from what I said to pick the prick continue to attack me, I slowly also have a tendency to cold war, so I should also be able to understand the feelings of your one. I don't think that anyone likes to go cold turkey unless they realize that they no longer have the space to express their thoughts and opinions. Lastly, I wish you a great life and a happy future!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your account, you jumped out and looked at your emotions, and you described that you were more composed, and that may be why. What we understand here is called not being true. One moment you think about this, the next moment you think about that. What this pattern of behavior brings out in the other person is that you don't think about the other person's feelings, you don't respect the other person's ideas, and you just do whatever you want to do, it's very spontaneous. I don't know how the pattern between the two of you was formed, but what I see now is that you, in fact, show different forms, but the psychological motivation behind are similar. The consequence is drifting apart. In terms of your description, it's generally the power of emotions behind what drives your behavior, while the other person behaves more rationally, of course it doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions, maybe he's not good at expressing them, instead the more emotional he is the more rational his behavior is shown to be. If the emotion behind him is disgust, then it's understandable that he's showing panache now. But you are not the same, your emotions with the middle of the work, a moment to think this, a moment to think that, by their own emotions around. Today, the two of us got divorced on impulse. Now there is the urge to contact him and remarriage with him Well, let's assume that you are now remarried, and then it is back to the previous state, then should we continue to do and then divorced and then remarried again? Next you should consider consider the acceptance level of two people, the sense of distance and intimacy between two people. I believe that you have been also can not stand a major reason for cold violence is that the other party did not show that kind of intimacy. But where the other person has responded to that aspect, you are not divorced because you are emotionally driven. Then you also have to consider the aspect of how you can get the other person to respond with intimate behavior. Personally, I like the person who is more acting out. Because I can influence the other person's behaviors and emotions towards something better. Then in turn you can influence the other person to have a good response pattern.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I am particularly resentful, I both feel that he is ruthless hate him, but also can not let go of him, sometimes want to forgive, sometimes want to take revenge, sometimes hate, sometimes also feel that he is not easy, compassionate feeling that you think of yourself as a savior or heavenly God, the subtext is that he should have been in your control, he is now all the behavioral patterns are out of your expectations, he is like a magic weapon you have been through the three lifetimes and three lifetimes of hard work to cultivate, however, he did not become what you originally imagined, but instead, with the help of your input of divine power into another rebellious appearance, one that always makes you angry, do not care about you, do not take care of you, and even do not care about you. Instead of turning into what you had imagined, with the help of your input of divine power, he turned into another rebellious form, one that always pissed you off, didn't care about you, didn't take care of you and didn't even care about you. Then you started to hate this magic weapon and abandoned it after a few days of cold war. You hear that the djed you abandoned is doing well after he left you, maybe even being treated like a treasure by other gods, imagine what kind of emotion that would be? Resentment, letting go, forgiveness, revenge, pity ............... Why do you tie the links between you and your husband so deeply? In fact, not to mention the husband and wife, is between parents and children, are not so deep link, because everyone is a personality independent people, have their own thoughts and behavior patterns, have their own preferences and life goals. Husband and wife is meant to be destiny also can still meet a man who is more suitable for you. After the divorce can not go out, always want to go to him, is it love him or psychological problems? So what, you this is neither love him, nor is it a psychological problem, the main thing is that you and divorce this matter, dealt with too hastily, the two did not go through the open heart and open communication and conversation, a lot of things are dealt with in the cold war and silence in the end, the flow of energy between the two of you are blocked, it is an abrupt end, like a movie inside the white space, when the picture suddenly static or the end of the time, the viewers heart will continue to ebb and flow, mixed flavors, and will not stop for a long time. Because of this, you will have a lot of fantasies in your heart, you will expect that you just impulsively divorce, you will expect that the other person still loves you or cares about you, no matter how it actually is, always everything between the two of you is stuck in that screeching halt moment. Everyone's life will face a lot of abrupt ending, such as the unexpected death of a loved one, there are many people will be immersed in this emotion inside a long time not come out, but there are more people understand the time and the preciousness of the moment, so they will focus on their own, focus on their own life can be. Let bygones be bygones, when are you going to let yourself and him go?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Is it really care, or just separate themselves for a while to adapt to life without each other if it is the latter, after a period of time you will not think of him, but if it is the front, that means that you are heavy feelings of marriage will be attracted to each other together, in the heat of love and marriage for a period of time before you are with \"colored glasses\" to appreciate the other vision, but after a period of time will return to calm or even like stagnant water general freshness past, and then you will find each other a variety of shortcomings, some of the other promised you before marriage fantasy. Each other's vision, but also because there is a sense of freshness, each other can tolerate but after a period of time, will return to calm, or even like stagnant water general freshness past, and then you will find each other a variety of shortcomings, some of the other party before the marriage to promise you the fantasy is also in a little bit of the reality of the elimination of his indifference time and time again to combat your enthusiasm, but have you ever thought about it? The other party may also have this kind of emotion. You can't stand him, he doesn't have to go to you, let go is also a kind of fulfillment. Some men love face, although it seems that the divorce has little impact on him, but he will have the chance to drink alone alone to find a corner to reminisce about the past all kinds of drops, he is not in the heart are not sad, but there is no need, after all, the loss of the things that have been lost can not talk about nostalgia is he really not good, irresponsible, do not love the family, or because you are not enough to tolerate him or perhaps the feelings of both sides of the building owners have a fault! Need to think about their own future in the end how to go.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the owner, I used to have similar problems as you. Most of it is emotionally influenced. If your ex-husband does not take the initiative to contact you, it is best to learn to let go. Adjust your own emotions, or even if you get back together again still can not solve the fundamental problem. The same change into someone else problem as usual. You reflect on their own problems, why do you want to retaliate against each other? Calm down, find something to do, you don't idle, let everyone feel that you also live a very dashing. This way your ex-husband may look at you differently.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7588
       },
       {
        "question": "Is my personality unsuitable for a counseling-related job?",
        "description": "I love psychology, and I am interested in studying people's psychological conditions, and I have always wanted to work in counseling. However, I have a sensitive character, my thoughts are easily shaken, and my attitude is rather extreme, always switching between extreme optimism and extreme pessimism.",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Skills",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see the words. First of all, I am very happy to see that you are interested in psychology as a psychologist. Because in today's society, psychological counseling staff is very scarce, so to see you willing to want to devote themselves to this field is really very happy. Secondly, if you want to engage in related psychological counseling work, then it is still recommended that you can systematically and professionally study the corresponding knowledge of psychology. This will be more helpful for the work. At the same time, your personality and the way you do things can also be changed through your personal growth counseling. In foreign countries, before becoming a counselor, everyone needs to do personal counseling for a certain period of time to understand themselves and to correct some of their problems. This is very necessary and helpful part of becoming a good counselor. Therefore, it all depends on how motivated you really are in wanting to become a counselor yourself. If you are really keen on taking up the career, then the above is the part where you can go for a growth spurt. Lastly, from a psychological point of view, personality formation is relatively stable but not unchangeable, so if you are willing to pursue a career, then personality will not be a hindrance to your career. Many difficulties can be solved. I hope you can realize your goal soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3317
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you break it when you're afraid to link up with good people offline?",
        "description": "I know that connecting with great people is a great way to learn, but I've recently realized that I seem to be a bit autistic, have no enthusiasm for connecting with people, and rarely express myself. Especially when it comes to great people, I want to link up in my mind, but my inferiority complex is so strong that I feel like I have no material to talk about. I am afraid of being rejected, ignored, belittled, these feelings will make me see my bad strongly, so I avoid to collide. Think about myself three years ago, there is no such feeling of inferiority, then I go to participate in activities, the heart is very relaxed, the speech exchange activities are also quite a lot, very happy to communicate with people and people to make friends, and now I go to participate in learning activities are listening to, do not dare to participate in the need to express and communicate. On the one hand, I know that this is not good, on the one hand, I can not pass the low self-esteem, embarrassed mentality, such internal conflict makes me very distressed surface problem because I really do not have much to talk about, but I know that this is the bottom of the belief system, affecting all aspects, this is just one of the manifestations. What can I do to make a radical change?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, your experience reminds me of an internship experience in college, when I wanted to learn from the company's big brother, but because of low self-esteem do not dare to communicate with the big brother. I didn't dare to express my opinion in the company's meeting. When I had a meeting with the company's counselor after the internship, she said that she saw my low self-esteem and that I was introverted. But no matter what my personality traits were, she encouraged me to be a [goal-oriented] person. It doesn't matter what kind of person you are, what matters is where you are going. The counselor's words struck a chord with me. The owner mentioned that \"talking to good people is a good way to learn\", and here I see that your goal may be \"to learn and progress\", and you clearly know that \"talking to good people\" is a good path to your goal. Perhaps you could try focusing on [your goal], and maybe the action will automatically follow your focus. The owner also mentioned, \"Three years ago, I didn't have such a low self-esteem, and at that time, when I went to events, my heart was very relaxed, and there were many speaking events, and I was very happy to communicate with people and make friends with them.\" I wonder if I can try to remember and feel the experience of that time, and I guess the owner's body still has memories of the relaxation at that time. I guess the owner's body still remembers that time. If you can recall that experience, it may help you feel more confident in communicating with good people. I hope the owner can realize her goal one step at a time!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, giving you a warm hug and very much heartbroken that you feel this way. You in the description of this issue between the lines are revealed that the other is very good they want to contact but not worthy of the style, but in fact your heart is eager to contact them, no matter what the reason, at least the pursuit of good or better mentality and ideas can be supported, but it may also be because of this lead to feel that their own gap compared to others is relatively large, worried that they will be disliked, not popular, ridiculed, etc., so the first self-importance up, this will do you no good, it may lead to you to do no harm and no good, this may lead to you to have such thoughts, but it will not help you. But it may be because of this that you feel you have a big gap compared to others, worrying that you will be disliked, unpopular, laughed at, and so on, and so you start with self-importance, which will do you more harm than good, and may cause you to be afraid to do what you are good at. Phil's advice is to \"turn grief and anger into motivation\". Instead of thinking about how bad you are, how you can be so bad, and whether you can't do it, think about the other person's heights and whether you can reach them. In order to communicate with each other, where do you have problems? What adjustments do you need to make? The current professional or academic enough ok and so on ...... [ps: just to give a few examples, please according to the actual situation, do not copy] serious about life and socializing is commendable, so do not be too panicked and messed up their own pace. I hope my answer can help you (\u30fb\u03c9\u30fb)\u30ce\u3002",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 423
       },
       {
        "question": "32 years old, not too high personal income, often borrowing money for high spending. What should I do?",
        "description": "32 years old, personal income is not too high, often borrows money for high spending. What should I do with such a person? How to persuade?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, probably a lot of people nowadays will have your kind of consumption view. You don't earn enough money to spend on yourself. I think everyone has their own job, and how much you earn is directly related to how much effort you put in. If you want to spend highly, then you have to work hard to make yourself earn more money to afford yourself this high consumption, if you always go to borrow money to fulfill yourself this high consumption, I believe one day you will not be able to make ends meet. And now your income is not so high, then I think you can look at how much their current salary, and then to decide the extent of their own consumption must be within their ability to afford. And then work on yourself slowly. This is a situation that needs to be controlled, for example, how much you earn each month and then subtract your monthly living expenses. Then take a part of the money to the bank card to save the rest of the card is not allowed to move a little bit to be used as their usual consumption. If you spend it all, you are not allowed to spend it again. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19179
       },
       {
        "question": "What should a 22 year old boy do when he realizes he's gay?",
        "description": "I'm 22 years old, and I started paying more attention to guys than girls around sophomore year of high school, before I knew about the concept of homosexuality. By my sophomore year of college, I had a crush on guys, and I had a crush on a guy my junior year of college, but because I was especially afraid of people finding out about our relationship, we parted ways soon after we got along. To this day I'm still afraid of people finding out about my sexual orientation. Whenever people ask me what kind of girl I like, I am especially embarrassed and I don't know how to answer, I always feel that I am hiding my real side. Now I have just graduated from work, I am still very distressed and confused, this kind of emotion presses me breathless, what should I do to be good, I actually just want to be happy every day, a little bit more relaxed, do not want to live in this kind of pressure.",
        "keywords": "Love, Sexual Orientation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "[It's possible you're not gay] Your experience is actually quite strange, and after reading your description, it feels like you're feeling more like fear the whole way through, not like an emotion like love. You seem to be caught in a kind of cognitive dissonance caused by \"I can't ever like boys and focus too much on them.\" [Cognitive dissonance] Let me first explain the concept of \"cognitive dissonance\" to you. People will adjust their cognition due to their own physical sensations, for example, the famous suspension bridge effect, the suspension bridge is very dangerous, there is a cliff underneath it, and people will be scared and their heart will beat faster when they walk across the bridge, and the experimental process is to put a female in the middle of the bridge, and a male subject will walk across the bridge. The experiment process is to put a female in the middle of the bridge, have a male subject walk across the bridge, and then ask the male subject if the female is good looking and if she likes it. The experiment found that the female stood on the road and stood in the middle of the bridge than, when standing in the middle of the bridge, a greater percentage of people thought the female was beautiful and they liked it. We interpret this as interpreting the heart rate increase during the middle of the bridge as being likeable, a process we call cognitive dissonance. I realize from your description that you can be very sexually repressed and have a hard time communicating openly about your sexual feelings, and if you can't communicate fully and openly, it can be very difficult to tell whether you are sexually aroused by your sexual repression or whether you have feelings for men. After all, normal men get sexually aroused by male-male and female-female movies, not because they are gay, but because these things are about sex. You are so afraid that you keep rejecting it. You may have heard the story \"Don't think of the white elephant\", and if you are told not to think of it, you will keep thinking of it, and if you keep rejecting it and rejecting it, the image will be emphasized more and more and become clearer and clearer. It's the same with the homophobia in your head, you tell yourself no over and over again, and then you end up with it all over your head, weighing you down to the point where you can't breathe. [What to do? If it's homosexuality, we explore how to come to terms with it. If it's not homosexuality, we run through how we wrap ourselves around it. You understand the reasoning, but you are having such an experience. As I said before, you need an ideal character with whom you can talk openly about these elements, and if you have such a friend that's the best, if not, you can look for a counselor to complete the process. In communication, it must be possible to distinguish, little by little, after repeated expressions, after your feelings come out, which part is fear and which part is sex. I studied imagery dialog, and we call this process de-dyeing. Let me give you an example of imagery, you dream of a person who looks like a man, who looks like a woman, who looks like a man, and when you talk about it, you think it looks like your father, and when you talk about the woman, this feature looks like your mother. So this dreamed person may represent elders who take care of you, and when you really look at these characteristics, the fear, anxiety, etc. that accompanies them in the dream may be much better. It is useless to be told by others, but after you have spent enough time, you will have a sense of \"enlightenment\", which is what we usually call \"figuring it out\", and in counseling, it is called \"fixing it\", where the conscious mind is connected to the subconscious mind. This is what we usually call \"getting through\". Your main emotion is still \"fear\", and the most important thing to do with fear is to \"face it\". If you accept counseling, you should at least be willing to challenge the part of yourself that you don't dare to talk about in front of the counselor, so that you can grow and repair more effectively and faster. There are many other issues that you may be facing, such as work pressure, leaving school, etc. This issue is very much like your fear. This issue is very much a vehicle for your fearful emotions, and you probably struggle a bit with identifying with your role a lot of the time, not necessarily gender-wise, so you can pay more attention to your own feelings and emotions, and it will help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Understand your distress, you found out that you are gay and feel distressed and confused and don't know what to do about it and don't want to live under that pressure. I'll share with you some of the knowledge I've learned, I hope it will help you. Research in psychology has found that, like the habit of using the right or left hand, sexual orientation is a continuum. There is a wide range between being completely heterosexual to being completely homosexual. Gender relations are not necessarily between men and women, but also between people of the same sex. Any two individuals who produce interaction have love, friendship, and affection. Just in different proportions. Because there is no absolute gender in the psychological sense. You are currently more affectionate and concerned with the same sex. Homosexuality is very normal, don't pressure yourself to accept this part of yourself yet. Be firm with yourself no matter what others think. Have a clear perception of yourself. You're more of your own imagination right now, and the stress that comes from imagining what other people will think of you, none of it is really happening. Imagining can be more stressful than what is actually happening. If you don't talk about it now, the average person may not actually know that you're gay, so it's perfectly fine for you to let go of these thoughts that are always lingering in your mind for now. Homosexuality is a normal sexual orientation, and there is no difference between heterosexuality and heterosexuality, so you don't have to feel inferior and respect yourself, but feeling anxious because you are homosexual is a psychosexual disorder. It is normal to re-establish one's cognition and keep reinforcing it in one's mind. Secondly, if it is clear that you like the same sex, you really have to be realistic and be mentally prepared enough. After all, homosexuality is a minority, he is not universal, so there are many people still have some prejudice. With the progress of society, more and more people have now accepted homosexuality, and there are many people who bless homosexuality as well. There are also many such places and groups. Whether or not to disclose your sexual orientation, you do need to do some more preparation. For example, how to communicate with parents, friends, etc. You can also give vague answers to general inquiries from coworkers, such as what kind of girls you like, for the time being. When you are more and more sure that no matter what others think, you are a kind of person, these questions I guess you can handle with ease. Because other people care about you too. The pressure to be gay doesn't just come from social opinion, but also from parents and self-identification and finding a partner, even if the relationship may not be as honorable as others. It's crucial to do your own self-identification first. Accept yourself, love yourself, be true to yourself, and don't have to envision in your mind how others see it, it's how we see ourselves that matters. I recommend that if you are interested you can watch the TV series \"Life is Beautiful\", the theme is the story of a gay couple who after a lot of conflict and frustration finally get the understanding of their family and support from their friends and get happy. It may give you some inspiration. Lastly, blessings to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answers will help you:\ufe0f** First of all, the situation you described is sorted out as follows:\u25b2 I started paying more attention to boys than girls in my sophomore year of high school,\u25b2 I had a crush on boys and liked them in my sophomore year of college,\u25b2 I am worried that people will find out about my sexual orientation now I am very distressed about it. **As you mentioned, it is possible that you have been agonizing over your possible sexual orientation for a long time. A person's sexual orientation is up to him or her, not identified by others, so some people identify as saying they are gay, or straight, or bisexual, or cool depending on their situation (I am who I am, and I'm not male or female as you call me, I think of myself as male or male, and I think of myself as female or female). **Scientifically speaking in terms of sex and gender, everyone's gender is in the middle of a continuous spectrum line, some a little to the left, some a little to the right. A person grows up with three genders, a biological gender, a psychological gender, and a social gender. Physical gender is the gender of the physical characteristics. Psychological gender, i.e. psychologically thinking of myself as a boy or a girl. Social gender, i.e. I need to behave as a boy or a girl in society. If all three are congruent, it is cisgender, if not, it is called transgender. **Most importantly, one's sexual identity is identified by the individual, not by others. You have the right to your own sexual identity and the right to your own gender, which is a human right, all in the context of being healthy and happy. **It's true that the world is not very kind to LGBTQ sexual minorities such as homosexuals. The world is still a male/patriarchal society, and with such a gender perspective, it's clear that sexual minorities have a long way to go to gain the same voice that is currently unlikely. And choosing when and to whom to come out still requires some timing and skill. More importantly, one's own identification with the self, which is the root of stress relief. However, all beings are equal, no matter which group, they should be respected, should be loved, and have the right to love and be loved. \u03b5It is recommended to find a teacher to properly analyze and explore, consult, and grow yourself. I am in, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#But because I was especially afraid of people finding out about our relationship, we separated shortly after we got together. #Understand your fear of being found out about your sexuality. Being cautious about your environment is the right thing to do, but it seems like you're being a little too cautious? I don't know what city you're in there, but there's still a difference in tolerance for the same sex in different cities. So you do need to be careful about how the environment treats the same sex when you socialize. But you can negotiate with your partner, how to face the objective environment, how to socialize, how to protect themselves and each other, these really need to consume a lot of your energy, and the program also need to be combined with the environment to see. # Every time people ask me what kind of girl I like I get especially embarrassed, I don't know how to reply, I always feel like I'm hiding my true side. #I have a good suggestion for you. You can say that there is a lot of pressure in the society nowadays and you can't even feed yourself, so you don't think about looking for a date and you don't really like children. Is it acceptable to you to avoid the problem in this way? The specific way can be under discussion. # Now just graduated from work, I am still very distressed and confused, such emotions weighing on me can not breathe, what should I do to be good, # You need to accept their own needs, they are the reality of the same sex. At the same time, you also need to face the reality of homosexuality is not so accepting, you need to look at your own environment to choose whether to come out of the closet or not, you can take some ways to test the environment of the acceptance of homosexuality, and then in considering whether to reveal their identity. My opinion is that what you are missing is a concrete way to cope with your current situation. If you don't have a good way to realize your needs, it is very uncomfortable for you to keep suppressing them. If you need help you can write to me privately.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Because I like boys of the same sex, I have no way to admit my sexual orientation on many occasions. According to reason, same-sex love is not something difficult to talk about, in psychology has also long been delineated as [normal] category, but because of our country's traditional culture will be felt to be wrong, as well as the majority of people are not the same and become unrecognized by the majority of people. Analyze and understand the problem: 1, you are 22 years old, you probably started to pay more attention to boys than girls in your sophomore year of high school, and at that time you did not know the concept of homosexuality. (For boys attention for girls, if this one may not be enough to identify oh. A person grows up experiencing a lot of things, and being interested in different people or genders during this process cannot be defined as \"homosexuality\". \"Attraction\" is a kind of tacit understanding between people, for example, what the other person has, I do not have. For example, there is something about the other person's personality or demeanor that makes you feel special warmth (perhaps a trait of one of your loved ones). So, it may be necessary to have [correct identification] before oh.) 2. By the time you were a sophomore, you had a crush on a boy, and you had a crush on a boy when you were a junior, but because you were especially afraid of people finding out about your relationship, you separated soon after you got along. (First temporarily exclude the possibility of misunderstanding, assuming that you really like a boy, but now most of the social culture is still not recognized, so you are particularly afraid to face others on your [sexual orientation questioning], so there is a love dare not love right? But don't you think that if you like a person, that is really like to be with him ah, just because of fear to leave? I mean, you might as well think again about what you think you like [whether it is] really like.) 3. To this day you're still afraid of people finding out about your sexual orientation. Every time someone asks you what kind of girl you like when you are particularly embarrassed, do not know how to return, always feel that they hide their true side. (In fact, you need to seriously face yourself, do not care about the views of others first, if even you can not recognize their own sexual orientation, then it will be very difficult in the future. You need to understand that later on your life is yours to live, not someone else's, so please exclude all [personal bias] first, to seriously do think about whether you really like boys or you are influenced by some reason, because my case is a lot of this kind of situation. Therefore, you do not worry too much, it is important to face up to one thing, it [is not] something to be ashamed of, it is your personal right.) 4, now just graduated from work, you are now still very distressed and confused, such an emotional pressure you can not breathe, what should you do to be good, you actually just want to be happier every day, a little easier, do not want to live under such pressure. (Well, what you said is so right, it's good to live easily and happily. This matter will definitely affect your mood, but what affects you is not the matter itself, but the impact of your inability to face your [true self], and the conflict in your own psyche. If you really like the boys, go ahead and like them in a big way, and if you are just [compensating psychology] in some ways, there is even less need to hide it; people have preferences, so why is there no way to face them once they are here? However, the text is so said, adjustment is also need to change a lot of inherent [thinking mode].) Closing note: I wish you happiness and joy! May you be relaxed and happy soon! If you are confused, write privately!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Homosexuality Heterosexuality Bisexuality is really a choice a decision you make at some point in time, a choice about the way you live your emotional life Sexual Relationships ...... It may change or it may solidify, and here it is possible to be open-minded and wait and see for a while. It can come from going back to one's own emotional relationship with one's parents. As for inquiries from others, one can take a reserved view. Sexual orientation, etc. is private and there is no obligation to tell others unless necessary.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2158
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you balance your needs with your inner emotions?",
        "description": "Most of my older generation was emotionally immature, and as a young child I was lonely because I lacked someone to talk to even though I was always being fed, clothed and housed. I was fortunate enough to meet my grandfather when I was 12 years old, and even though the topics of interest to an old man are akin to learning from a book for a child, I did my best to catch up with him in every conversation. Over the years, my grandfather's knowledge structure had a profound effect on me. He said he wanted to live to see me work but actually started a business, which caused a certain mental fluctuation in me not responding to him clearly. When he was hospitalized, he would always send me messages saying, \"Why don't you come and see me? Then his death hit me hard and indirectly caused me to have mental anomalies. Later I lost part of my memory, and when I regained consciousness, I realized that no matter where I went, there were always people who seemed to know me. I have bits and pieces of memory fragments and know that I have caused some harm to the public. It made me feel ashamed to meet people. When I insisted on recuperating at home and turned my attention to my family, they still insisted that I was a lazy addict who didn't go to work and was a utter old man. How do I balance this?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject: Hello! Let me tell you what I understand. People's emotional expressions and needs can vary greatly from age to age. There are some people who borrow things other than emotions as emotional expressions or even emotions themselves, which can lead to emotions being ignored, misunderstood, or even becoming a major source of stress, and all of these scenarios can create a conflict between the desire to be close to others and the fear of being caught up in misunderstandings or under pressure, or they can be confusing and difficult to understand at times. In your case, growing up under the tutelage of your grandfather, who endowed you with enough knowledge to pass on his way of thinking while expecting a lot from you, these are the main components of your intergenerational closeness. Perhaps for the generations above, teaching and expectations are what love is all about. Fulfillment of both is what makes a respected elder. Affection can go hand in hand with upbringing, and honoring love can embrace dearness. From a human point of view, perhaps in terms of realizing the perfect family life, elders need to naturally show more \"licking love\", which not only does not \"spoil\" the child, but also develops the child's ability to naturally relate to others. To put it more seriously, family intimacy has a great impact on the emotional intelligence of children, as well as on the ability of a family to pass on its heritage from one generation to the next. Moreover, it is difficult to replace the direct emotional connection between parents and children. Therefore, I understand that the emotional needs that the questioner is referring to may mean a desire for a more intimate relationship and a feeling that the relationship contains too much pressure. Based on understanding herself, the subject may want to try to step out from under the pressure of her grandfather's expectations. Sometimes too much and too high expectations from loved ones can in turn make people forget about self-expectations. It is good to ask yourself, do I have expectations of myself? What would I expect of myself? In this way, use active self-direction to get out of the mindset of loss and avoidance of stress, and feel the joy of growth from it. In looking at the matter of emotions, trust in your ability to love. Of all the things in this world, love is the only thing that you can feel that you have more of. People don't have to be pampered enough to know how to love others. People can try to pay attention to others and get close to them regardless of whether they are emotionally rich or not, so that their inner feelings become deeper and richer. The more you give, the richer you become. Let go of the constraints on yourself and be bold in building connections with others. It's up to you to decide how much you want to fulfill your emotional needs now and in the future, and it's up to you to build an intimate circle of relationships for yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "For small children, they often don't want better toys or pretty clothes, but they want someone who can understand their heart and can be a real friend with the child. Since elders are immature in dealing with emotions, they would not look for their own problems every time they meet a problem, but would attribute all the reasons to the child. Until we met our grandpa later on, even though there were many things he said that we could not understand at that time, we seemed to have become close friends with him, and we have been telling ourselves internally that sooner or later, we would have to make our previous ideals that we had previously realized. But the years were not kind to us, and grandpa eventually left us, especially during the time he was critically ill, grandpa often dragged people to ask us why we didn't go to see him, and I believe that among all the younger generations, the subject must have loved grandpa the most, perhaps because he didn't live up to grandpa's expectations, or he was worried that he would see grandpa in his sick state, or perhaps it was some other reason that caused us not to go to see grandpa all the time. Until after grandpa passed away, our hearts still couldn't accept this, and even many times we were a little bit confused between reality and our own thoughts; we had a lot of things we needed to do, but our minds were so messed up that we didn't know where we should start. Since we are really young and strong, the elders at home surely want us to go out and earn money to support ourselves, but since we are not in good spirits, we hope that we can give ourselves a little time to adjust, but the elders think that we are nibbling at our old age and deliberately find many excuses to avoid reality. We can make an analysis based on the ability and resources we currently have, and give ourselves a little time to recover. Of course, during this period, we can adjust our mindset to see how much distance we still have from our ideal goal, and then step by step, we can adjust and achieve it. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject. I have carefully read the previous replies of a few seniors. Have also carefully read the comments and feedback from the respondents. I realize that you are trying to come and gather some advice and opinions. I also realized that I am of similar age as the subject, so I'll put myself on the level of my peers and say what I understand. Out of all the answers, the respondent was completely satisfied with only one answer and felt that it solved his problem. That person is one of the top gods on this platform, so questions like yours are difficult for non-gods to understand plus answer. The subject is a bit idealized. This is a common problem among young people (including me), the questioner is very focused on \"understanding\", and except for the answer of that god, many of them mentioned that they didn't understand what you meant. But there are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand eyes. There is no way that outside advice can fit one person's point of view perfectly. Unless that kind of god who has seen many cases and seen a lot of wind and waves, very professional. And this platform on this column can only be such a question and answer mode. This is just a short-term exchange. I think what you need to do is to draw on the advice that is useful to you here, such as some respondents suggesting that you keep a diary, such as some analyzing from the emotional side, etc., even if it doesn't exactly match your understanding, but it opens up a new perspective for you. There is also the point of immaturity of the parents, the questioner is a bit idealized, in fact, how many fully mature parents in this world? And how many children are completely in line with the standards of parents, born to play the role of the first time, we have never been taught how to be a parent. It is only in recent years that the idea has emerged that since I cannot meet the standards of parenthood, I would rather not have children. But who cared about that before? Having children was just for the sake of succession. My parents were immature too, but they loved me in their own way, even though in many ways they didn't understand, they just loved me in their own way. The same goes for your parents, they at least managed to raise you as an adult. Have you asked the other respondents if they have children, do you dare to promise that assuming you do father a child one day, you will be a fully qualified father? So don't look at your parents as if they were children, it's a bit childish. They have raised you to be up to the standards of that generation of parents. They provided a lot on the outside (food, clothing and shelter). They only addressed the outside and did not pay attention to the inside. They just loved you in their own way. People can't fully empathize with each other, in fact no one can understand your experience about your grandfather, even if you express it clearly and someone else understands it completely, but he may not give the advice that is completely in line with your standards, everyone has their own way of thinking. I think the subject was laughed at by some counselors because he was a bit idealistic, just like many people laugh at children, it's funny in the eyes of adults, but how can adults understand the stubbornness of children? My answer may also be laughed at by elders or not adopted by the subject. Regarding the subject's understanding of his grandfather's complex feelings: the subject's personal style, style, can be seen by his grandfather's great influence. Because the subject \"Your casual answer is not good enough, because if it doesn't satisfy him he may refuse to communicate with you.\" and now the questioner emphasizes the same understanding. This is an aspect where you have to see that your grandfather's model of education for you is not exactly right either, and here it reflects his prestige as an elder who has to achieve what he wants what he thinks he wants in order to communicate, but what he wants what he thinks he wants isn't exactly right either. Some of what he has is imposed on you. \"It's impossible for a child to react so strongly under normal circumstances\" In a way, he may have had some unfulfilled wishes in his early years, and his son failed to help him realize them, and his grandson became the vehicle for those wishes, and he wants to see you succeed in your business in his lifetime maybe that's what he wants too. It's like the kind of TV show: they have not been successful in learning to play a musical instrument, so they let their children learn, and the children achieved great success, and the result is even happier than the children, the children have accomplished their dreams for many years. (I don't know the exact situation between you and your grandfather, so I'm just speculating here.) The current state of the subject is that he is surviving in the middle of his family's lack of understanding and his complicated feelings towards his grandfather. On the one hand, there is the lack of understanding from the outside world, and on the other hand, there is the complexity of the inner world. The subject can try to communicate and coordinate with her family to resolve the external conflicts, and turn to concentrate on her complicated feelings for her grandfather. If the subject's mental state is good enough, why don't you go out and communicate more with older people, and tell them what your grandfather's transmitted to you, maybe they can understand better or have more insights, which will help you to open up the knot in your heart. This is my advice and opinion, everyone has their own point of view, ideas. If it's adopted, it's a great honor. If not, I am truly sorry.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ see words like face, carefully read your four paragraphs of description, can feel that you are more concerned about the \"previous generation in the majority of emotionally immature\" this matter, seems to think that this is the cause of a series of subsequent changes in your reason. With each reply, I feel that the owner's heart slowly softened a bit, the owner is also step by step sorting out their own past and emotions, a lot of things are gradually clear. The article to the 18-year-old self, let me feel a little \"hurt\" child. Yes, before the age of 18, we do not have the ability to choose our parents, do not have the ability to choose the environment in which we grow up, these are not your fault. Just one thing, the past experience belongs to the past, the future how we want to go how to live but we can choose and decide now. We are no longer that powerless child. In his book, Inferiority and Beyond, Adler wrote, \"Experience itself cannot determine success or failure. It is not experience that determines life, but the meaning we ourselves give to experience.\" So whatever your childhood experiences were, and whatever your past experiences were, you can give them different meanings: whether they are catalyzing or negatively engrossing is not in the event itself, but in what you think about it. About the owner wanting to stay home and recuperate, but they insist that you are lazy and want to nibble at your old age instead of going to work. I can feel your feeling that they can't understand you. When the owner wants to go to work is also the owner's choice, as long as they are responsible for their own choices. It is the first time to be a parent, there is no perfect parent. Often, in the end, denial of parents is actually also in denial. I hope the owner of all good ~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject ~ your words are heartbreaking. First of all, in the subject's description of some of the status quo may need to pay attention to, such as loss of memory, as well as feel that people on the street to recognize their own these symptoms may be related to some mental illness, so I suggest that the subject seriously to the hospital psychology or psychiatry department for a detailed diagnosis. The subject was greatly influenced by her grandfather and learned a lot from her childhood with him, so I think your heart is still very grateful to him, but because of what he said at the end when he was sick, you feel that you may have some guilt. So this feeling of guilt may be the reason why you lost part of your memory, because people have corresponding defense mechanisms, and when some of our emotions are too strong, some people may adopt the defense mechanism of repressing themselves. Also, it is heartbreaking that you realize that you need to recuperate psychologically, but your family doesn't understand and blames you for being lazy. It is true that the older generation may not know enough about mental health nowadays and may appear to trivialize it. The subject can properly express your true feelings to them, as well as your true thoughts, and try to make them understand you. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "A small child, difficult to understand the words of adults is very normal, just like as adults we, in the communication between and peer sometimes may not be able to really understand their words is not it so do not necessarily have to make yourself to understand every word your grandfather gave you, maybe your grandfather also gave you a certain amount of help, but you have to have their own understanding. For example when he was hospitalized he always sent word why you didn't come to see him. I don't know why you didn't visit him at that crucial time, no accusations here. Well, it doesn't really have to be your ability to match his words for you to dare to treat him positively, some of the words are indeed true but you have to gauge your own thinking and state of being in the moment to treat them instead of just listening to them, which can easily overwhelm you when you are confronted with something. Now you feel that for you to recuperate at home is a better way, and the family is not very agreeable, in fact, it's okay, each person's physical state of the person is more aware of. I believe you can also feel the state you are in at the moment. That's why I made this decision. In fact, each stage of the same thing is a different understanding, the current life can be good. During this period of time, first calm down and organize these memories, as far as possible, also out of their own understanding, with your own understanding will not fall into the past. Watch more healing movies and books, read more healing articles, maybe more helpful to you. Likewise rest.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject. After reading the description of your question, I feel that you have some grudges about the previous generation. However, we have to grow up, experience and deal with problems eventually. In your opinion, reaching a balance is ideal. However, we also have to allow for this balance to be dynamic, meaning that there are times of balance and times of imbalance, times of balance needless to say, and times of imbalance to try to regulate to a state of equilibrium. One of the more proven ways to do this is to write out for yourself on a piece of paper the aspects that bother you, and the aspects that delight you. Try to make the total number and weight of both the same. Then, mentally erase the ones that bother you, or, alternatively, write the solutions and implement them. Then find those things that give you pleasure, find that feeling, and allow yourself to feel the pleasure deeply. While doing this, lengthen your breathing and you can close your eyes and do a little meditation, which is still more effective.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, after reading your question, I can feel your loneliness, although there are always people around to take care of your food, clothing, housing and transportation, but your emotions have nowhere to rest, and your grandfather, who has the deepest feelings, has left you, resulting in your memory loss. During your recuperation at home, your family still insists that you are a lazy addict who refuses to go to work and is a nibbler. Now you don't know how to balance this situation. First, I think the first thing you need to deal with is the trauma that the death of your grandfather has caused you. You came into contact with your grandfather when you were 12 years old, and even though the topics that he was interested in were nothing less than heavenly books to you at the age of 12, you always tried your best to make yourself able to pick up on what he was saying, and now you think that your grandfather's intellectual structure has had a very deep impact on you, when in fact, what you don't realize is that you've been nourishing your grandfather in turn. Your loved ones' family, are also grandpa's loved ones and family, and the loneliness you felt, grandpa must have felt too, so he was like a treasure to you, his grandson, and therefore, when he was hospitalized, he always asked someone to bring you the message, \"Why didn't you come to see me?\" The death of your grandfather has dealt a great blow to you, which indirectly led to your mental abnormality, and even the loss of some of your memories, which shows that your grandchildren's feelings are very deep. So it is recommended that you, find a psychological counselor, do a deep communication with your grandfather, make a farewell, so that your grandfather can leave at ease, so that you can live at ease. Secondly, now that you insist on recuperating at home, your family members still insist that you are lazy, refusing to go to work, and a nibbler. It can be seen that you are also extremely depressed at home, and that you still do not receive any nourishment from your parents and family members at home. Therefore, it is recommended that you see a doctor to see if your social functioning is such that you can take up social work, and if so, it is recommended that you go to work so that you can minimize the harm that comes to you from your loved ones. Thirdly, if you are not able to go out to work, it is recommended that instead of letting yourself decay, you organize your time so that you can use this rare free time to learn something, such as psychology. There are many good courses on the platform, and you can selectively buy some courses on family of origin, human-computer communication, self-growth, and spiritual growth to repair the lack of childhood and make yourself strong. Life is a long road, and it's destined to be a painful journey if you don't have the strength within yourself, so go for it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17506
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I improve my concentration when I can't focus on one thing when exam time is approaching?",
        "description": "I have not been able to focus on one thing, the closer the exam time gets, but I have not been able to focus on my reading.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, find out why you yourself can't focus, adjust your behavior in many ways, do your best for the exam and don't push yourself. Very understandable that you feel this way, may not only can not focus, but also feel anxious and depressed, the more you want to read, but the more you can not read, forming a vicious circle. You can first calm yourself down and think carefully about where the reason lies, is it just because the exam is approaching? Or are you afraid of not being prepared enough and not doing well? Fear of losing face in front of classmates, fear of failing parents' expectations? And so on. Exams, not scary, but your knowledge and thoughts about the matter of the exam and its results, make you feel anxious and distracted. A test decides nothing, and you probably feel this way before every test, but when you actually take the test, you continue your studies and your life, even if you don't do well or do well, you continue. Get down to business, don't put too much pressure on yourself, make a reasonable plan, organize how much you need to read each day, how much rest, how much recreation and exercise? Allow yourself to prepare for the exam to whatever extent you can during this last period of time, do your best, and let the result be what it will be. Because we have put in all our efforts, the result we can achieve is out of our control, not to worry about things out of our control is an ability that needs to be learned. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15518
       },
       {
        "question": "I can't trust my boyfriend, I'm insecure, I have insomnia, what should I do?",
        "description": "I and my boyfriend together, found that he often basically every other day and a girl chat, this girl I know, I asked him, he only said suitable for their classmates to question, but just a while ago in my pursuit of the question, I just know that I have not been with my boyfriend together before, this girl with him to express his white, but was rejected by my boyfriend, and after that she deleted my boyfriend's QQ, my boyfriend said that she After deleting him also deliberately to gas him with other boys to engage in ambiguity, and then my boyfriend in order to ask her questions, and then add her back, and then they chat frequency and its high, in my previous period of time and after he had a big fight, he said it is in order to be afraid of me think more, so hide me for a year long, I surface all right, but I really can not forget in my heart, and today he said that other people asked him about something, and I asked him if it was the I asked him if it was that girl, he said he had nothing to do with that girl and defended her, I can't trust him now, I feel like a time bomb is buried around me, I don't have a sense of security, I often have insomnia, I'm very scared, please help me, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Security,Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner mentioned the former relationship experience and interpersonal relationships, are the owner of the current relationship status has a certain impact, so because of these reasons for the current worry about dating, and the boyfriend's distrust, are reasonable and as the owner said may be a kind of escape. In addition, in the relationship on the other side of the doubt, on the feelings of doubt, in fact, more often or from the lack of security, can not do completely believe that the other side of the true heart, but also can not do completely believe that their own level of selection, random in the relationship with a skeptical attitude. If you really can not continue, feel very painful, want to end such a back-and-forth relationship experience, it is better to completely cut off the relationship. The pain is there, but it also gives us the ability to find another person who is right for us. Suggestions are as follows: communication and communication is very worth trying, the owner may be able to confess their feelings to their boyfriends, but also to confess their own suspicions, of course, if the boyfriend has no intention of bitter struggle, do not want to give up this relationship, after this is also the best to make it clear to their boyfriends, this suspicion is their own out of the building itself do not want to suspect the other side, he will also express understanding, and in the future, but also in the case of doubt to strengthen the communication, may be able to let the owner of this relationship even more. This will make the owner of the relationship more at ease. At the same time, adjust the work and rest, read books of their own interest, enrich their lives. At the same time, you can also establish a small goal, so that you have some plans for the future of life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21090
       },
       {
        "question": "Since the divorce, my kids ignore me and I'm miserable, what should I do?",
        "description": "Since divorcing his dad in 2017 the kids are living with his dad, they don't love to be with me or communicate with me or hang out with me, I don't know what to do",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Family Relationships, Child Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject now thinks back, what was the most painful thing he suffered as a child? Let yourself remember a dozen or two decades, when you think about it is still difficult to accept, still very painful ...... Think about it, now the child suffers from this kind of pain, perhaps even more so! You know, parents divorce, the most painful than the children, they do not have the ability to be independent, can not take good care of themselves, very much in need of attention and love, but plainly missing half, but also do not dare to blame mom and dad is not good, can only blame their own bad behavior is not good, dad (or mom) just don't want him anymore! What torment and pain they feel inside! The subject said that he does not love to be with you, do not communicate, do not come and go, the subject himself has to do something first, the child's heart warm, the child's pain dissolved, and the child to establish a safe enough, good enough connection, the child can love you and communicate with you ...... you did not communicate properly with the child beforehand, tell the child what the divorce is all about! It's just that you two don't love each other anymore, and the divorce doesn't affect the fact that you're his parents and still love him as much as you used to, and your whole family had better be on the same page, or else it's devastating to the child if someone complains behind his back and denigrates the other party ...... You're not around him every day, but it's best to be in regular contact on the phone, e.g., goodnight calls every day. Talk to your child for half an hour, listen to your child, understand your child's life and psychological dynamics, and give support and guidance when necessary, and try not to nag or blame your child. What he needs is love, not blame. Fixed time every week with the child, love him, here is the meaning of wholeheartedly into the exchange with the child, communication, put down their own anything, just and the child sports, play, read, etc., to create a special time for the two of you, every week, so, do not go back on their word. Slowly, the child can feel your love, will take the initiative to respond, believe him, he loves you, now just do not know how to communicate with you, communication, need your patience, love and guidance. It's not too late, please do it as early as possible, even if it's hard at first, but it's definitely better than if you don't do anything, time will prove everything. It's best to build a book to record the communication with your child, your own mindset, and look back every once in a while to see what is lacking so that you can improve in time, and what is improving, and then continue to do so, it will help.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It is hard for you to feel lost when your children don't socialize with you after the divorce and you don't know how to turn the situation around, right? The reason for your child's absence is both the child's and other people's reasons, right? How old is the child? The child doesn't initiate contact with you, doesn't initiate communication, doesn't like to be with you. I wonder how your child would react if you took the initiative to contact him or her and communicate with him or her more often. If your child is too old to contact you, you can try to contact your child and discuss some of your child's favorite topics with him or her. At the same time, pay attention to observe which topics the child is not willing to explore, the child is more sensitive to which aspects of the problem, the communication process to avoid harm, as far as possible to avoid talking about the child does not want to talk about the topic. If your child is still young and has no autonomy, his reluctance to socialize with you may be influenced by other external factors. For this to change, the family members with whom the child interacts must be harmonious and friendly. If the person who is raising and caring for the child has a good relationship with you, the child will naturally get close to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Divorce will naturally bring harm to the child, but since it has been divorced, look for the reasons for divorce, do not that pay sense to complain, from their own find the reasons. They are wrong, beg for forgiveness of the child, with practical action to seek forgiveness of the child. At the same time, they also need to live their own lives, I also have remarried around. Anyway, as an adult, you have to pay for everything yourself. Remember, don't hold a grudge against your child, how can you wait until the moment your child sees you. Bless you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6320
       },
       {
        "question": "I've been in love with a senior for a long time and I want to write him a letter of confession, how do I write it politely?",
        "description": "His grades are very good, read the class is our school's key class (our school is the provincial key), my grades are considered to be in the middle of the grade, there is still a gap with him, I usually do not know him very well, so I would like to ask you how to write a euphemistic point",
        "keywords": "Love. Love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner~ I'm happy to see your question here, I remember the first time I confessed my love to someone was when I was a junior in college. At that time, I still always like a high school classmate. Although usually not much contact, but always silently concerned about his dynamic, every time he sent a circle of friends I will be the first time to like. I remember when I confessed it was twelve o'clock at night, we hadn't contacted each other for a long time, so I took the initiative to ask him what he was doing, after a simple chat with some polite words. I then told him a story about a girl with a crush on a boy! Haha! Sort of a very euphemistic confession! The result is also very expected, he also politely refused. But I just can't seem to let go, maybe it's the first time I've ever liked a boy! So, after two years, in the first year of study a night, I quickly cut through, not even polite polite, directly sent a message confession! I remember when I sent a big long string, now think about it I don't know where I got the courage then! Maybe it is not willing to do it, after all, like so many years! The second confession I surface very calm, inner still a little bit of anticipation! Mental thought, if agreed to have a happy relationship, if not agreed to I will not wait! From then on to start a new life! Unfortunately, the other party rejected me again! He said he had a favorite person like me! After that, I got over it! There is always a person in the world who comes into your heart for the first time, and there is also a person how you can not go into his heart! However, confession I do not regret, at least I tried for my feelings, not successful I do not have regrets! So, if you like it, tell each other boldly! Euphemism or not is no longer important, the important thing is whether you are ready to confess to him! Bravely say your own psychological words, perhaps you are the one he wants to find? Believe in yourself! I wish you success in your confession! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "## Euphemism is the art of love, confession is the technique of love. The key to ### confession is not just to let the other person know that you like him, but to make him like or somewhat like you too. Why do boys' confessions like to write love poems, and male peacocks' confessions like to spread their wings, not just to express their liking, but also to show their charms. #Suggest thinking about what is your charm, what has ever attracted a guy to you, and just go with that side of your confession. Still need a little hint right? Boys write love poems, what do girls write? It's not really appropriate to write anything. How did girls confess in ancient times? A lot of them gave handkerchiefs. Why did they give handkerchiefs? Because the picture on the handkerchief is embroidered by her. @ Attachment mentality, there is love mentality.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Does euphemistic mean include not being embarrassed even after being rejected? Since it is a confession, you write ambiguously, how can you let him know that you like him? This is a useless effort, instead of euphemistic confession, you should boldly inform. After all, at present, your studies first, love is a dangerous thing, there are many exclusions and taboos, then fast and furious, he did not mean that, you can rest assured that you can study. I think the key class of him, not you can easily pry.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12538
       },
       {
        "question": "Does the boyfriend have violent tendencies? Or is it just flirting?",
        "description": "My boyfriend jokes with me and says that he really wants to kick your ass and knock your teeth out. I used to push him and pinch him during the most heated fights, but he didn't fight back and let me hit him, then I asked him why he was glaring at me, and he answered me \"to restrain myself from hitting you\". I pressed him again and asked him if he had ever thought about hitting me, and he got very angry and said yes, then I pressed him again and he said no. (He was tickled by me at the time, and he said no.) (At the time he had scars from me scratching him.) Occasionally when I'd hurt him he'd make a jokey attempt to hit someone, wiggle around a bit, and when I'd say what are you doing, he'd immediately stop. Anyway, he never hurt me, but I often pinch him to make him all the scars, so he has violent tendencies? Or am I overthinking it?",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Security,Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the subject's description, I looked at the subject's aggressiveness and the boyfriend's tough guarding of boundaries.1. The subject's behavior has: I would go to push him, pinch him, but he did not fight back to let me hit him, and then I asked him why he was glaring at meCorresponding Boyfriend: restrain yourself from hitting you2. (At that time he was I tickled all the scars) boyfriend behavior: he was very angry said there,------ he said no.3. the subject's behavior: occasionally I damage him when he will make a joke want to hit the action, shaking, I said what are you doing boyfriend behavior: he immediately withdrew a summary of the subject's behavior: I often pinch him to him to make him all over the body scars, the boyfriend behavior: never! Hurt me male friend to the subject's more behavior is: really want to kick your ass, and then smile teeth to you to knock out and so on words, make jokes want to hit people's actions. That is to say that the boyfriend has not done any substantial harm to the subject in any way, instead the subject has scarred him all over his body. So the two of them are the subject's attacks and the boyfriend's hard work to keep the boundaries. If one day under the subject's attack, the boyfriend didn't keep the boundary and fought back, it just answered the subject's remark that he has violent tendencies. I don't know if the subject has ever heard of accidents or stories where two people are fighting, and one person screams and shouts, \"You fight, you fight, you fight, if you have the ability, you fight. The other person, the first time tolerated it, the second time tolerated it. One feels emboldened, the other simply doesn't have the guts to fight. The third time, he continued to clamor, if you have the ability to fight. Another person, without saying a word, directly give a slap, come on, fulfill your need to be beaten. Do you think the first one wanted to be beaten? No, TA with words to provoke, betting on another person in the moral, or men do not hit women in the consciousness, or the other side of some kind of scruples. Does the other man want to be beaten? Definitely doesn't want to. Always hold back. But there's always a limit. If the limit is really exceeded, the TA thinks it doesn't matter, if I don't hit you, I'm not capable, so let me hit you to prove that I'm capable. If both people are aggressive, it's a case of one word and then it's on. You can refer to the famous saying, what are you looking at? (This is basically the same as the declaration of war), the other side and then back to a \"look at you what\", well, the melon crowd back, be careful of accidental injury. Some people are full of aggression, suspicious, stubborn, lack of empathy, emotional instability, like to seek excitement, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, the ability to cope with reality and poor interpersonal skills. Whatever the reason for the subject's aggressiveness, it is recommended that the subject consciously control his aggressiveness in the future, both verbally and in action. If you can't control it, you can take part in some confrontational sports such as boxing, wrestling, soccer, judo, fencing and so on. These sports can legitimately be in the rules to express their aggression. Hopefully, the subject can find a more gentle way to get along with her boyfriend. Occasionally positive and motivated counselor, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The truth is that everyone is inherently aggressive. I think your boyfriend is quite tolerant of you and he has very good emotional restraint and self control. Your question is whether your boyfriend has any violent tendencies? From your description, your boyfriend has not committed any violent acts against you, but you have behaved in a hands-on and aggressive manner towards him. You pinched and scratched him, leaving him with scars all over his body. He once wanted to hit you back, but he restrained himself and didn't do anything to you, didn't hit back, and I think that's good enough. Why do you want to \"kick and punch\" your boyfriend, want to provoke your boyfriend, want to let him \"do it\" to you? For example, your words: Do you ever want to hit me? This is a kind of challenge and provocation language. Do you want to challenge your boyfriend's bottom line? Have to force him to hit you, you will psychologically feel, see I'm right I guessed it, he is a violent person. In fact, some of your words and behavior are trying to provoke your boyfriend, but he has strong self-control and did not make a move on you. This provocative behavior of yours is like you gave the other person a blow, and then proudly said, you come to hit me, you dare to hit me? The other person has put up with it again and again, if you continue to do this, and with provocative words, then I think it will inevitably hurt your relationship with your boyfriend. And this kind of behavior and words from you are going to train your boyfriend to become a person who has no violent tendencies to become a person who likes to do violent acts with his hands. So your boyfriend is still a very considerate and mature and stable person, cherish him.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello.\" Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.\" Have you ever heard of that term? You impose your own behavior on the other person, thinking that the other person also has their own behavior. Even if the other party does not have actual behavior, still can not rest assured, worried that the other party will eventually like their own \"hands\" ...... This is called \"self-tolerance\". In fact, everyone's \"tolerance\" is limited. You always to his \"tolerance bottle\" to throw small stones, then, it is unlikely that one day, you will taste the final overflow of the bottle mouth of the \"bitter water\". It is recommended that you get counseling to find the source of your \"aggressiveness\" towards him and try to heal your insecurities. In the end, intimate relationships are often a mirror of ourselves, and I hope that the final reflection of us is warm and not broken.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Does the boyfriend have violent tendencies? Or is it just flirting? The owner hello first of all to your situation to express understanding, and heartache, want to give you a big hug, feel the warmth of the world In fact, you asked such a question, first of all, it is necessary to need to go through some of the day-to-day behavior to judge, and then you gave some details, said the boyfriend joked, said what so and so want to kick your ass ah, knock your teeth out, but he never implemented such violent behavior on the contrary, you will be on the He has some small actions, just some slightly seemingly violent behavior to hurt him so in fact in essence it is a kind of projection reaction of you, you yourself have something, but you think others have projected onto others, this behavior so you forced him to ask if he ever wanted to hit you? It's actually a provocative way of asking that challenges your boyfriend's bottom line. Because some of your violent actions and behavior towards her will also make others your boyfriend feel there is slightly unfair, so he said to restrain himself from hitting you, that he is already a quite mature, can restrain the behavior of a good boy on the contrary, the owner of the building should think about why they will make him a whole body bruises. So he is not a violent tendency, but he is for you to hurt his behavior, a flavor in the forbearance, and then I think he loves you so you need to respect each other, rather than to think of these violent news, you should not have such a violent boyfriend small actions and so on, after all, the body body hair skin affected by the parents of each other, then the probability of avoiding any such violent behavior, the question of violence blessings to the owner of the question. The question of violent tendencies bless the subject with happiness and joy \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "He is temporarily wooden and violent and has more restraint. He loves you now and can tolerate many of your shortcomings. Isn't that what happens when you're in love, you're willing to make a lot of concessions in order to be together. We all think that when the relationship is settled, everything will be fine and look forward to life after walking down the aisle. To me, you seem to be a bit violent, you are constantly testing his boundaries, seeing when he will not be able to stand it anymore. You think this game is fun and it seems like he's okay with it. This game has a nice name, it's called Scramble for Power! As nice as it sounds, it is cruel and it is a major cause of relationship problems. You are now getting troubled, wondering if he will actually hit you. You know you can't beat him. Still, you wonder if he will really hit you later or not, and you are a little worried. However, you don't see your own double standard - you're trying to piss him off as much as you can and watch his reaction, but you can't see how much damage you're doing to him, how much it's hurting him, how much it's hurting your relationship. I don't know what your upbringing was like from a young age, or how much parenting and subtle influence you had, I just see that you don't seem to be very good at loving your boyfriend, and don't understand how two people who love each other can behave. This is not a problem at the moment, but it can sow the seeds of trouble for the future together. You are very sensitive to feeling this, hence the confusion. Right now your relationship is very close, you can tolerate each other for small problems, and even big problems are not a big problem. But what about later, if you go on like this, the relationship will definitely deteriorate and fade, otherwise you won't have doubts. Let me tell you a story. Yizi Shao was an official in the state of Wei, he was very handsome and liked by Duke Ling. Once his mother was sick, she received a report in the middle of the night and drove Lord Ling's carriage home secretly. Later, when he was visiting the orchard, he gave half-eaten peaches to Duke Ling to eat. Duke Ling praised him and said that he would rather commit the crime of chopping off his feet in order to fulfill his filial piety, and that he did not want to eat the delicious peaches for himself. Later on, when Yizixian lost his favor, these two things were brought up again as his great sins. That's all to say, you are lacking some faith in love and don't seem to believe much in the existence of true love. Love is sometimes that way for no reason at all, but it needs to be nourished by our hearts. I hope you can learn how to nourish your love and stop playing that dangerous power game, it's not fun and it's worrisome. I wish you all the happiness in the world.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 228
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm only 13, I broke my virginity three days ago, and I can't help but masturbate. What should I do?",
        "description": "I'm only 13, I broke my virginity 3 days ago, and then I realized that I can't control my sexual desire, I always want to masturbate, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexuality, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, let yourself understand and recognize sex objectively and maturely, not blindly try and please yourself with the lesser knowledge you already have. It is not clear under what circumstances you broke your virginity, there is no protection, their bodies have no uncomfortable changes? Wait a minute, you need to take good care of your body, you are a minor girl, maybe your own environment or other aspects of the influence, so that you have sexual relations at such an early age. But having sex does not mean that your sexual concepts and knowledge about sex are mature and complete. You can buy some related books or online e-books or some courses to let yourself know sex objectively. Nowadays, your body and mind are in the immature stage of development, you may be easily seduced and misunderstand the knowledge of sex, or in the future, when you are an adult, you may be left with a certain negative influence. Under the premise of protecting yourself, moderate masturbation behavior is possible, but not excessive and harm to the body, will be their time and attention on the need to do things above. It is understandable and normal to have a novel and uncontrollable experience when you taste the forbidden fruit for the first time. You can masturbate to satisfy your sexual desires, you can buy sex toys to satisfy yourself, if you want to have sex with someone else, make sure to take responsibility for your choices if you can pay for it, etc. There are many ways to do it, but make sure that you pay attention to the right amount of time and don't hurt your body because of this. Not sure if you are in school? It is possible to put your attention and focus on other things that interest you, sex, is just a part of life, not all of it, and there are very many wonderful things that are worth trying, and the pleasure and fulfillment that you get will be just as impressive. Learning to manage your desires is probably an ability you need to develop. Adult maturity often lies in the word \"management\", managing your body, money, emotions, desires, personality, and so on, and you need to work hard and learn a lot more. Last but not least, take care of yourself, you have a long, long journey ahead of you, and there are so many things to explore and experience, so I hope you can take yourself seriously, grow up seriously, and be happy. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16516
       },
       {
        "question": "Doesn't feel confident in whatever you're doing, and it's affecting you particularly badly, and you can't even walk with confidence?",
        "description": "A problem, I no matter what I do not confident, and like to compare with others, no matter who, want to compare with him, but also feel that no one can not compare, such a thought throughout my three years of high school wine affects my three years of study, very difficult, and now the university is still like this, I can not stop thinking about it, can not be compared to the total lack of energy to learn to walk without confidence, it is very difficult to feel like the world's worst, no I feel like I'm the worst person in the world, not one of them.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Personality Traits, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject baby, hello. Inside I don't want to compare, but I have no control over it, and I compare myself at times, and the subject knows that it's because of the comparison that I'm not confident enough right now. Should we stop comparing? No need. If we can't stop, then we should just keep on comparing. However, the angle of our comparison can be changed. Honey, have you ever realized that all these comparisons you've been making are comparing your weaknesses to other people's strengths? Now try comparing your own strengths with other people's weaknesses. It doesn't matter how you compare them. This kind of comparison angle, can make you feel too good, will also have more confidence. Maybe you say that this comparison is not self-deception, they already have some bad places, but also magnify their own advantages, then I can still progress? In fact, we are now focusing on whether there is confidence, when we raise the self-confidence up, in fact, you may be able to reduce the comparison. Because then you will have more things you want to do, will take up most of your time, the time to compare with others will be relatively reduced. Accept the psychology of your own comparison, a little bit of self-confidence, believe that you will be better. Above, for reference. May you and I live into what we want ...... wish: in watching you, getting better and better!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 42
       },
       {
        "question": "My emotional needs are too great, how do I get my boyfriend to love me more?",
        "description": "I am a student party, boyfriend work party, we have been long-distance for a year, because of insecurity, emotional needs are great, resulting in high expectations too high on the boyfriend's needs are too high, often fight with the boyfriend, and now the relationship to produce cracks. Because he belongs to the kind of thing to do a thing is very focused, and I hope that he contact me every day a little bit more with me a little bit more, I will not contact me often think he is not love me, how to solve their own emotional needs, how to let him take the initiative to contact me a little bit more, love me a little bit more?",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Codependent Attachment,Security,Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello ah, give you a warm hug ~ in the emotional exchange between you and your boyfriend, you have a not quite equal needs, for you, you need more emotional appeasement, and the boyfriend he may be more strict control of their own time, he would like to be able to have a space of their own time to complete their own things. If this is the case, then you can express your feelings and needs to your boyfriend, for example, you can tell him that in the course of your relationship is actually more long-distance, you will feel less secure, you also want to be able to get emotional comfort. You can communicate between the two of you and agree on a time where the two of you can share your lives and have an emotional and life exchange. If you are in a long distance relationship, you can also use video, you can not talk, but you will also feel secure watching each other doing their own thing. This is also in the same time and space each other have each other's things to do, so also able to have life communication. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20835
       },
       {
        "question": "Often forget what you thought about the night before?",
        "description": "I often forget some of the ideas that I thought of the night before, although I will write down what I want to do, but very often I need to say why I want to do this and the details, but the next day I want to explain the problem to others, I find that I just can't think of how I would like to choose to do this, but after a few days or after a long time, I suddenly remembered the details of the matter with a flash. So this always leads me to self-judgment, thinking that if I could have remembered all these things at that time, I would have done this thing better, so I always deny myself, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Suspiciousness, Anxiety, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "About the memory problem you can be more detailed or even you can buy a recorder, the next day can not remember the essence of the reason is that you do not think mature, not thorough enough to understand, this you prepare or to be more comprehensive. About denying yourself you can be sure of yourself through some small successes and at the same time have an objective and clear understanding of themselves.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10404
       },
       {
        "question": "My husband's grandmother's \"love,\" which has no boundaries, makes me anxious?",
        "description": "Married for 4 years, the husband's parents are busy working, he grew up with grandma and grandpa, grandma life 73, perennial leg pain, the husband is the only eldest grandson, before living separately, the baby was born after the grandmother often live at home. I like to have their own space and independent character, life, training as a child father should he do things to do, and grandmother will come over and say, you have to work, I'll get. After all, it is the elderly, the body is not very good, should be to enjoy the blessings of the time and like parents to do things for us, I am under great pressure, there is no sense of boundaries caused by my anxiety. Politely chatted, the elderly feel that is to drive her away, and do not understand to let her husband do things is to develop his sense of family responsibility, in fact, my mom is helping to bring up children, manpower enough. Grandma wants to arrange aunt to help us, the mentality collapsed, when this child has no parents. Sometimes see her heart to pay also very heartbreaking heartache, very understanding. Thinking of grandma old age to take good care of her, but a face of the status quo in the family, I am very stressed and anxious, our life is like a giant baby, breaking my family's original mode of coexistence, and my husband and I do not have a private space, as soon as I came home to want to shrink to their own bedrooms to accompany the child. Tried to communicate with my husband, he can't help, said she wants to do let her do, home also live under, actually very depressed, can't change others, how do I do self-adjustment or other solution ideas?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relations",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello, see this problem feel quite heartbreaking, hug you, I hope to bring you some warmth and comfort. [Sorting Feedback] First of all, sort out the problems I see, you see if it is right or not.1, the subject, female, married and have children.2, the husband was raised by grandparents, especially love the husband.3, the grandmother often denies your decision-making.4, the grandmother wants to be on top of your mother to take care of the child, but also want to make the aunt to help, which makes you uncomfortable.5, you and the husband to communicate with the also have no way to do it.6, you would like to find the ideas to solve the problem. [Understanding and Analysis] Let's talk about my understanding and analysis. First, the whole problem, I think the grandmother as your \"mother-in-law\". Traditionally, many children are brought up by their mothers-in-law, and my husband was raised by his grandmother, so, in a sense, my grandmother is my husband's \"mom\". You said that your mother is helping to bring up, that is, your mother and you live together, and the traditional concept of the grandmother of course, to do their obligations, but because of their own health does not allow, the obligation must be done, how to do it? Letting your aunt come is the only way grandma can think of. Secondly, I think your attitude is more or less a bit [double standard], are both elderly, you accept your own mother as a matter of course, the husband \"form of mother\" acceptance is very difficult. If you want independent space, your mom did not give you, is not it? Of course this is reasonable, after all, your own mother raised yourself, years of emotional foundation and understanding, will make you feel more comfortable. But for hubby, perhaps the person who would make him feel more comfortable would be grandma. Third, of course, it does seem inconvenient to have so many people in the house, and like you said, don't the kids have a mom and dad? In fact, the best people to bring up the kids are you and your husband, not your mom, not grandma, and even less an aunt. But you do not have to put down the will to work, then of course the old people have to \"do their best\", otherwise the child let grandma bring up, grandma how to explain to their own? [Methodological advice] to give you a few small suggestions: First, if you want to let the grandmother leave, then I think you should take care of the child, or hire a nanny to help, otherwise only let your mother care, not let the grandmother to take care of it, she will not accept it, and she can not accept it. Secondly, of course, there are some important people who may be useful, such as your father-in-law, your husband's grandfather, their words, the elderly will listen to more. You can listen to them appropriately. Third, or, you can ask grandma to invite aunt, I think aunt can't stay long, let the facts speak, let grandma realize the problem by herself, not you guys tell her. Fourth, the husband's side of the relatives try to let the husband to communicate, so that the resistance is less. Fifth, I suggest you learn some psychology and communication knowledge, marriage needs to be managed, knowledge is not innate, need to learn. I hope my answer can help you, I wish everything will be fine!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think the solution for those who have money is to rent or buy a house in the same neighborhood, so that you can take care of your grandmother and reduce the possibility of her interfering in your lives. If you don't have the money, or you don't want to spend the money, the solution is to let your husband step in, and every time your grandma does something, tell her very seriously that she doesn't need it, that she's an elderly person who should be resting and enjoying her life, not doing this or that, and that the younger generation should have the ability to live on their own. Anyway, every time you do it, let your husband say once, not the kind of argument, but is to be serious and sincere and never tired of saying ~ and then what she did, let your husband double to do it again twice. This way, if she feels sorry for your husband, she won't let him do it again. Husband is not that he can not help it, but you tell him your way, ask him if he is willing to strictly implement ah ~ and to say and husband, do this is also to let the grandmother better enjoy the old age and maintain your small family unity and love ~ and then more praise husband ~ that he is willing to work for the small family old to give, but also willing to think of the grandmother's happiness awesome and so on ~ the above is some of my small suggestions, I hope to be able to provide some new ideas to the subject! I hope this can give the subject some new ideas.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, I understand very well what you are going through, your husband's grandmother has been trying to help you guys and is all now living with you and, also, trying to get your aunt to come and help you with the baby, there is no sense of boundaries in your life, which is causing your anxiety, and I think whoever is in your position would probably be depressed, hugs to you. Try to find a third solution. What do I mean by a third solution? The first way is to satisfy grandma, but it's especially hard for you; the second way is to satisfy yourself, but maybe your husband and grandma aren't too happy about it. At this point, try to find out if there is a way to satisfy each other appropriately in part? For example, you want private space with your husband, what are all the ways to do that at this stage? Appropriate separate living? I wonder how far apart the two houses were when you lived apart? Is it possible to live a few days here and a few days there? Can you fulfill the need to take care of the elderly so that they can enjoy their family life, and also fulfill your need for independence? You feel that the elderly are after all old and do not want them to worry about you, but now look after the children and help you I feel that it is the needs of the elderly, not your needs. When people are old, they may seek the feeling of being needed, so when grandma wants to help you guys do something, you just let her do it, to reflect her value, as long as it is in her power. For you want your husband to do some of the things that should be done, because too much family involvement, he may be burdened with a smaller, but you can put forward a particularly clear requirements, such as accompanying the child to go out to play ah, etc., so that he can try to do some of the things that must be done by the father to complete the other things can be appropriate to relax a little. These are likely to be agreed upon through communication between the two of you. You do realize that we can't change others, so make self-adjustments or think of other ideas to solve the problem. Try to look at what each person in the family needs, combined with their own needs, to see if you can find a common ground can be negotiated, try to make each person can be properly satisfied, or can also now meet this person, after a while to meet the other people. It's very important to take care of yourself, and lastly, I wish you the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject. When I see the problem you are talking about, first of all I would like to thank my grandmother for her dedication to the family (although I don't really agree with this either). On the one hand: when the elderly get older at home, they feel a sense of loneliness and want more companionship from their families. Grandma wants to help you bring up the kids and help out around the house, but I think it's more because she's afraid that we young people will think she's old and useless...that her family will dislike her, so she wants to help out as much as she can (which is a bit counterproductive indeed). Older people are also vulnerable, especially those living alone. The feeling of loneliness is even stronger ~ on the other hand: I'm going to go out on a limb and ask what about your loved one's parents? Why are the elderly living with you? There may be a big gap between the thinking of the elderly and the young, and there will be a lot of differences in life. Of course, they may not like each other. I mind you and your loved ones to talk about it, after all, the expression between relatives will make the elderly heart more comfortable. I see your husband to grandmother filial piety, but if it affects your family life I think there is more to lose than to gain. There are many ways to filial piety, it is not necessary to live under one roof, if possible, appropriate expression and the elderly do not live together. Only my personal opinion, I hope it can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, you can consider renting a house in the neighborhood to grandma to live, keep enough distance from each other. The reason can be explicitly stated, small families want more independence, and then live in the near place really want to have what overtime travel sick fever, but also to facilitate the grandmother to come over to help, admit that life still need the help of the grandmother, that is, the reality, but also let the grandmother have a high sense of self-worth, of course, usually nothing when you don't have to come over to help, and more to stroll around chatting and playing cards, and manage their own old age life is very good! The fact is, after half a lifetime of hard work, it's time to enjoy life, do you want to continue to work until the body can not be moved until the end? Anyway, don't worry too much about us youngsters, we can't starve even if we are not good at cooking, and a little more housework is also a kind of exercise. Although you can afford to live in the case of a waste of rent, but from the point of view of improving the living environment of both sides of the atmosphere, is definitely a cost-effective investment, owners to consider.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1808
       },
       {
        "question": "Can't trust people, can't recognize society, can't tolerate skin-to-skin contact?",
        "description": "I've been in n number of relationships, but all of them were separated because I couldn't maintain a long term relationship with the person I was in love with. But personally, I don't feel like a scum, so this kind of relationship experience hits me hard and puts me in a loop of feeling like a bad person. Lately, I've been consistently depressed, and I haven't had the energy to prepare for several exams. Frequent dreams that move to murder or all the teeth falling out of my mouth. po main grew up with an American education and had a cultural fallout when I came back home, long enough to go a month without talking. Doing so as a child wasn't too much of a problem, but as time progressively stepped into society, I found myself completely unable to pick up the slack and even loathing the moment. Is there something wrong with me, my dear friends?",
        "keywords": "Mood, Depression",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I am amazed to see your personal emotional experiences over the years. Perhaps it's because of certain past experiences that it has become difficult for you to trust others. The key is to understand why you couldn't maintain long-term relationships with romantic partners and what exactly caused the breakups. Each person may have done or not done certain things in relationship breakdowns. You mentioned \u2460 inability to trust people, \u2461 inability to accept society, and \u2462 inability to tolerate physical contact. Perhaps these are all aspects that need to be explored in depth, as past negative experiences may lead to resistance and defensiveness in interpersonal relationships. If possible, it is necessary to try psychological counseling and determine what you want to do in the present. Past emotional experiences have greatly affected you, leading you to feel trapped in a cycle of thinking you are a bad person. You feel down and lack the energy to even prepare for exams. You often have dreams about losing teeth. The influence of American education and entering society has made it difficult for you to adapt. You abhor it. If what you dislike about your current life is due to betrayal from friends or lies from important people in your life, there may be a series of reasons that have caused us to lose trust in others. Regardless of the reasons, we may feel scared and panicked, which causes our hearts to close. How can we trust others again? Perhaps this is a very long process, where scenes are replayed, and the origin of distrust is defined. Try to consider the various feelings of distrust, anxiety, and resistance. If we are victims of past traumatic events, we can try to acknowledge our feelings. Perhaps at some point, we felt hurt, confused, and angry, which may indicate that we are in the stage of not trusting others. This fact makes us aware that we have been negatively affected. Even if the reasons for this distrust occurred a long time ago, it may still have negative feelings and affect our relationships with others and our societal integration. This is a very real problem. We can consider it from our own perspective and try to express our feelings. Having specific examples can help us be sure that we have something to say and we can control our emotions. It is crucial to remain calm and maintain boundaries. Those who are not trusted have their own path, and we have our own choices. Reassess where the boundaries lie when it comes to interacting with others, communicate based on our own comfort zone, and understand that people are prone to making mistakes. Reflecting on our past experiences with others, we can delegate different requests and choose not to shoulder everything alone.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, [I've been in n relationships, but they all parted because I couldn't maintain a long-term relationship with the person I was in love with]. \u25b6 In between you must have thought about maintaining a long-term relationship and tried to go on, but couldn't move on. Have you thought about what prevented you from continuing? [Personally, I don't feel like a scumbag, so this relationship experience hit me hard and put me in a loop of feeling like a bad person.] \u25b6 You don't feel like a scumbag, but you do feel like a bad person. What makes you feel like a bad person? Does the other person think you're causing harm to TA or something? [PO grew up with an American education and had a cultural fallout when he returned home, long enough to go a month without talking. Doing so as a child wasn't too much of a problem, but as time gradually stepped into society, I found myself completely unable to connect the dots, and even loathed the moment.] \u25b6 It is true that there are some differences between American education and domestic education, and the way you take to cope with that may be to not talk. But you realize that there was nothing wrong with doing so when you were small, yet when you grow up in the same way you find that it doesn't work, and you feel somewhat disgusted with the moment. Is there an image that comes to mind when you feel disgusted? If so, what is it? According to Adlerian Individual Psychology, every person possesses their own purpose and benefit behind their behavior, even if it's something like smoking and drinking, which society deems undesirable. Some people believe that smoking and drinking allows them to relax, escape from reality for a while, and avoid their worries, which are the benefits of these behaviors. So what benefits can the inability to sustain a long relationship bring you? Are you willing to let TA see the real you? If not, perhaps maintaining your image is also a benefit to you. What is the benefit of making yourself feel like a bad person? What are you trying to accomplish when you don't want to talk? Maybe it's not that something is wrong with you, but that these emotions are reminding you to look inward to see if your thoughts need to be tweaked. Best wishes Karen!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9418
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there a good solution to the problem of insomnia when I experience severe insomnia after giving birth?",
        "description": "After giving birth. There is a quite serious insomnia problem, sleep is not solid, and not enough time, to the child is now more than 8 years old, there is still such a sleep disorder during the day when there is no spirit, the whole person also looks quite haggard and pale, the teachers do not know for this kind of my this kind of situation to give a little advice, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello and a warm hug to you. First of all, this is a very common phenomenon, I hope you can not worry too much. According to what you said can be initially divided into two aspects: one is that you have this situation before pregnancy, then you can consider the insomnia or neurasthenia or other physical problems. If you had it after pregnancy, in addition to considering conventional factors, it is recommended that you also be screened for postpartum depression. About how to make yourself sleep better, here are a few small ways to help you: pay attention to diet, eat less and more meals, favoring light, especially before going to bed do not eat too many things also do not eat too greasy and stimulating food pay more attention to exercise, proper exercise can effectively adjust our body to keep the mood of the positive, so that they have a more relaxed and relaxation of the state of mind can be before going to bed do some Aerobic exercise or listen to soothing music, preferably pure music If the situation has been very serious and no relief or please consult a doctor in time.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, good noon! First of all, hug you, you said this situation is still a relatively common phenomenon, postpartum due to physical and psychological and breastfeeding and other reasons, will lead to a certain period of insomnia, but from your description can be seen, this time has been very long, become a norm. The causes of insomnia itself are many, compared with your sleep state before giving birth, first of all, we can make a certain judgment, if you belonged to a person who was more prone to insomnia before giving birth, the birth of this situation may have aggravated the situation. Now that many years have passed since you gave birth, it may be more effective to further determine the possible causes from both the physical and psychological levels, and then propose a program to address the symptoms. Regarding the sleep aid itself, we can first rule out whether there are any organic problems in other aspects of the body, if not, then we mainly need to carry out a certain amount of pre-bedtime meditation or pay more attention to some stress-reducing activities on weekdays, such as walking, appropriate physical exercise, and sun exposure can make the production of serotonin during the daytime, which is converted into melatonin at night, which can help to fall asleep. Mental stress on the channeling needs to become a long-term homework, which things will make the subject nervous, then appropriate need to go to the initiative to weaken. Above, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 9214
       },
       {
        "question": "What's wrong with a 22 year old girl who doesn't quite dare to meet a guy's eyes?",
        "description": "I just came across the concept of \"heterosexual fear\" today, and suddenly I feel like I have some heterosexual fear. Especially if I don't know the opposite sex, I feel uncomfortable when I see a guy walking down the street, and I feel like I can't walk right. However, if you have a purpose to communicate and have a conversation, it's not a problem. Since there were no shadows or events in the past that led to this, I came across this concept today and realized how unnatural I am when confronted with the opposite sex. I know I have a lack of confidence in my appearance, so is this related to my low self-esteem? How can I improve it?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Communication, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The way to get rid of low self-esteem and fear of people social fear first do not think too much, not to mention the number, first deep breath, slowly accept themselves to have this reaction, tell yourself will get better, first do not think about the concept of it, the concept of psychology are just symbols, describing a variety of phenomena of a coordinate called symbols only, the first to pay no attention to, don't think about it with yourself first. I think according to your phenomenon, may be usually less go out, and then less adaptable to the environment of the crowd, a bit like social fear, but this concept can not be said directly, this thing can not be randomly into the seat, can not be labeled randomly, these have to do in the psychological have a rigorous evaluation test to get a certain score to go to the judgment, this is something we can not mess to their own definition of labeling. More into the crowd, slowly desensitized. Practice talking to strangers, no matter male or female, if you feel fear of the opposite sex, then talk to men more, staring at his chin and nose when talking to the trunk of the nose in the middle of his eyes. It's hard to start everything, and it gets better and better when you do. Remove \"everyone is looking at me\" psychological implication (similar to this idea, not very obvious, the heart of the subconscious subconscious) in fact, there are not so many people pay attention to their own more with themselves to say \"I'm really great\", more praise themselves, even if a little progress, small advantages, positive thoughts imply If you are a good person, you can say \"I'm really good\" to yourself, praise yourself more, even if it's a small improvement, small advantages, positive thoughts to yourself, give yourself more positive hypnosis, of course, someone around you to say this kind of words is even better. You can clean yourself up from the top of the dress, clean yourself up neat and tidy can also improve self-confidence, of course, if there is a better decoration or makeup, choose a material that you like to look happy to make yourself become more pleasant and happy, improve self-confidence, you can also draw a beautiful make-up, wear beautifully out of the house. I just heard about the new mental fm released today, and there is an article on it where the earthly parrot, Yuqi Zhang, tells you how to be confident, and it says one of the main points is very similar to one of the situations you brought up that you found yourself in. Kudos to you here for being self aware. Well what it says is that if you have a goal for something, your attention can be focused on that and then you can forget about fear for a while and be more comfortable doing what you want to do. You can try this method. Try focusing your attention on something else, like if you want to be in contact with someone of the opposite sex, find something to cross paths with, and then focus your energy on doing that well, and you'll slowly do that desensitization, and after that desensitization you'll get better and better, and you'll be less fearful of crowds.",
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          "answer_text": "No, I'm not. Don't take it personally, in fact, many people will be like you, including myself have the same feeling, so we are not alone, we still have company. Don't think too much first, don't be a stereotype, first take a deep breath, slowly accept that you have this reaction, tell yourself it will get better, don't think about the concept of it first, psychological concepts are just symbols, describing a variety of phenomena of a coordinate called symbols only, don't pay attention to it, don't think about it with yourself first. I think according to your phenomenon, may be usually less go out, and then less adaptable to the environment of the crowd, a bit like social fear, but this concept can not be said directly, this thing can not be randomly into the seat, can not be labeled randomly, these have to do in the psychological have a rigorous evaluation test to get a certain score to go to the judgment, this is something we can not mess to their own definition of labeling. More into the crowd, slowly desensitized. More practice talking to strangers, whether male or female, if you feel fear of the opposite sex, then talk to more men, staring at his chin and nose when talking to his eyes in the middle of the nose trunk. It's hard to start everything, and it gets better and better when you do. Remove \"everyone is looking at me\" psychological implication (similar to this idea, not very obvious, the heart of the subconscious subconscious) in fact, there are not so many people pay attention to their own more with themselves to say \"I'm really great\", more praise themselves, even if a little progress, small advantages, positive thoughts imply If you are a good person, you can say \"I'm really good\" to yourself, praise yourself more, even if it's a small improvement, small advantages, positive thoughts to yourself, give yourself more positive hypnosis, of course, someone around you to say this kind of words is even better. You can clean yourself up from the top of the dress, clean yourself up neat and tidy can also improve self-confidence, of course, if there is a better decoration or makeup, choose a material that you like to look happy to make yourself more pleasant and happier, to improve self-confidence you can also draw a beautiful makeup, wear a beautiful out of the house.",
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        "questionID": 10858
       },
       {
        "question": "15 year old boy, told to his face that he looks ugly by someone he likes, doesn't want to live ......",
        "description": "When I was 13 years old, the girl I liked said to my face that I was ugly, I became more and more withdrawn, my relationship with my parents became worse and worse, I became more and more uncommunicative, I didn't dare to look at other people, I didn't dare to talk to strangers, I tried hard to cover up my own shortcomings, I went out all the time with a mask on and I can't help thinking about it at night, I cried... Is there any way of committing suicide that can be kept from being discovered?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Emotional Regulation, Vulnerable Tears",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject Hello ah, hug you ~ by favorite people say ugly really hurt, I think the subject must be hurt very deep very deep. First of all, regardless of the girl's words in the end is true or false, I as a false than you older than a dozen years of sister it, from the heart to say a word, the face value of the boys really does not matter, and the older you are, the more you will find that the person or temperament is the most important, the boys are especially so. When I was in college, my teacher told us about her classmate, a short, small and plain-looking boy, the most inconspicuous person in the class, and every day alone, because of the love of English so quietly study. My teacher said that many of the girls in his class had forgotten about him before they graduated. More than ten years later, the class reunion, this boy also came, the teacher said she did not even realize that this is the year that the skinny small unimpressive boy. Boys did not grow, face value carefully look at the same, but the temperament has changed, work for more than ten years, because the bottom of the accumulation of university, work to find a language related, the development of very good, the whole person has been trained to full of spirit, speak and do things are very competent, the teacher said, \"I think he has a halo on the head\". I thought the teacher was making up stories, until I met a variety of men in the workplace, the first time, will certainly look at the face value, but dealing with more, do not care what he looks like, care is his quality. Some people have to say really handsome, the first see can not move eyes, but played a few times to deal with, found the embroidered pillow a, boring boring no ability. Some people look quite sorry for the audience, but after a few dealings, they envy his wife how to recognize the pearl. Really, for a cultured girl, one will not attack other people's appearance, and the second will not judge people by their appearance. Moreover, there is another possibility that the girl may have been in a bad mood at that time, and she didn't expect to hurt your heart so much. The subject, let's forget about this unpleasantness and pretend it never happened, OK? You are only 13 years old, see people, contact with girls is really too little, in the future, when you get to a higher platform broader environment, you will find that the excellent and warm girl is a lot, they also have countless possibilities, we do not put themselves towards the worst results, okay? The problems you are facing include not having a good relationship with your parents, not being able to communicate with strangers, trying to hide your shortcomings, wearing a mask when you go out, and I think you are a little sensitive and not very confident. I think you are a little sensitive and not very confident. We need to make ourselves less sensitive. In fact, sensitivity is an advantage, only sensitive people will feel the existence of danger, which is actually a protective mechanism. But over-sensitivity can make us tired. So how can we become less sensitive? Don't think too much about things, don't ponder. If you realize that you are pondering, when you are thinking about something over and over again, shift your attention in time. The more you think, the harder it is. Do more sports, preferably soccer, basketball and other sports that require cooperation. This is tired, tired, no energy to think, and secondly, such activities collision is inevitable, slowly you will get used to it, but also easy to make friends. Recommend you a book, \"Burns New Emotional Therapy\". It's a very thick book, and the methods in it are particularly practical. I've tried almost everything in it, and I'm sure it works. I used to think about it half the time because people didn't nod and say hello to me in the corridor, but now I almost don't care about other people's attitudes. Then how to be confident? Find more of your own strengths. Starting today, we should find at least one good thing about ourselves every day, recognize it from the bottom of our hearts, and praise ourselves every day. For example, I got another question right today, I'm so smart. Compliment yourself, fancy yourself. Tap into the things you are good at. Just like the boy I mentioned earlier, he just found the hobby of English and made it his best thing. You can also find out what you like, what you are good at, and always stick to it, from the sense of accomplishment of making things, you will slowly find self-confidence. You can deny yourself a certain ability, but do not generalize and deny yourself as a whole person. For example, you did not do well in the math test, which can only mean that you may not be good today, or you may not be very good at math, but do not rise to I am stupid. We can't do things because we may be lacking in one area, but it doesn't mean the whole person is bad. This way we can objectively evaluate ourselves and find our strengths and weaknesses. The question is to open your heart oh ~ this world is really beautiful, don't give up on yourself because of one person, there are still a lot of people who love you silently guarding you, these are the people you really want to care and value.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Dear Friend: I heard that you had a series of self-denial and lack of self-confidence because you were told by your favorite girl that she was ugly, and even had the idea of giving up your life! I can see the weight of this girl in your heart at that time. Two years later, you are still tormented by the shadow of that year, resulting in the separation of the parents, personality and socializing style of the lack of life is very tormented! It is really heartbreaking. 13 to 15 years old, the age of flowering season, is in the adolescence of life, this period of physical growth, physiological functions, sexual development and maturity accelerated, very prone to psychological and behavioral deviations, the development of self-consciousness appeared in the second leap period. At this age, they are strongly concerned about their appearance and demeanor, attach great importance to their own ability and personality growth, and have a strong sense of self-esteem. Emotional changes are often manifested in an increase in worries, specifically: worries about personal image in public; worries about personal dignity and social status among peers; worries about the rift in the relationship with parents and emotional detachment; and an increase in the sense of loneliness and repression. It can be seen that your current situation is a normal psychological and emotional change that everyone goes through during the growth and development stage, rather than an isolated case. It is only that many people, have gone through the process of self-knowledge and establishment of intimate partners and corresponding social relationships smoothly digested, while your teenage years were driven by self-esteem and the frustration of the satisfaction of other people's appreciation, which led to the current experience of distress, helplessness and sense of repression. Through the psychological and emotional cognition of human developmental stages, I believe that you have already had a full understanding of your teenage years, which is also a very sensitive period to have such a difficult experience. So how can you change the feeling of depression that has affected your normal life? I have a few suggestions, you may want to try: 1, every day in their own room put a mirror, wake up from the morning, put on their most desirable dress, do not have any cover on their own face, stand in front of the mirror, close your eyes, the psychological silence read 30 times I am most handsome! Score yourself according to your experience of psychological anxiety, from a maximum of 100 points until it drops to less than 25 points. Do this three times a day, morning, noon and night, until you really feel good about yourself! I'm confident! 2, every day after school, you can be in your own room, the mirror image into the girl was like, you can talk to yourself, pretend to communicate with the girl, the girl on their own at the time of the feelings of denial and sadness and dish out, each time until all the organs of the self no longer have a feeling of tension until the body and mind all feel very relaxed and relaxed until. 3, the family is the original manor of our lives! Back to the manor should be the most relaxed and the most original state. We express the most basic survival wishes to parents every day, such as: want to eat want to drink and want to see and play and parents to communicate, from parents to your daily life to meet your wishes to gradually understand you and see you change day by day, you and your parents will gradually narrow the psychological distance. More importantly, you can open your heart at home to talk and communicate, which is the most important step out of their own, but also to enhance the beginning of self-recognition. 4, actively participate in various sports and collective activities in the school, in the mutual cooperation of sports and activities, not only have no time to let their own thoughts desert, but also in the fierce competition in the sport to enhance the recognition of the peer group and communication, to enhance their own character! They also enhance peer group recognition and communication in the fierce competition of sports, improve their character and gradually integrate into the class. As a boy, when the sports skills are the first to float up, will attract more peer attention and recognition, your sense of self-identity will be super inflated, in the sharing of feelings unknowingly make their own self-confidence and ideals can be improved. 5, as a student, to improve their own learning or a certain skill focus. I've heard of the butterflies coming from the flowers, but I've never heard of the butterflies coming from the flowers. I believe that you must have their own strengths, when your learning or a skill superb, you around the same interest or envy your partners come, your peer friends will be more and more. At this time, the common worries and joys of growing up with peers will be shared with each other, growing up together! At that time, you will feel every morning is so good! One day there are special enterprise high hopes to see people, to say words, to do things, to share the topic, to move forward, to adhere to the beliefs, to overcome the difficulties, to go beyond their own. Meet a sunny and confident growth of self! 6, silkworm metamorphosis is a very hard course, the growth of people is the same, there is joy, pain, harvest, tears, and more growth! Accept the present self, recognize the growth of self, change the imperfect self, grow in life, in the growth of life! May I be a friend who is always with you in your heart and by your side, sharing happiness and sharing pain! There are trials and tribulations to share, and happiness to savor! Believe you! Embrace you! I believe you will successfully walk through the teenager this growth resonance period, stride towards the beautiful adolescence, practicing my advice to happily meet the charm of their own!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject giving you a warm hug please never give up on your life, there are many people who love you and there must be someone who secretly cares about liking you! Don't think you're bad at everything just because of one person's words, and at the age of 13 it's the right time to talk back and not admit it. Think about how we show our favorites. We would pull the hair of the girl we like, we would purposely find things to get the girl's attention, or we would tell some brother how the girl is, shyly not admitting it but unable to control our liking, how beautiful that state is! Being like the girl said in person looks ugly, indeed is also a sad thing, longing for and like the girl together, but was said ugly, at that time must be very sad right, hug you, but also because of the character is more and more withdrawn, the relationship with his parents is getting worse and worse, more and more do not love to communicate do not love to communicate, do not dare to look straight at other people, do not dare to talk to strangers, try to cover up their own shortcomings. Know what, want to let the girl regret rejecting themselves to say their best way is to make themselves better, looks we can not decide, but can be dressed through the dress, inner cultivation to improve, can not because of a person's words to feel that they are not good anywhere. Believe me, there must be a girl who secretly likes and cares about you. Don't worry, don't be afraid, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The warm-hearted little cute hello ah! After reading your description, I think this girl you like must have a very heavy weight in your heart, and her comment will touch your heart, especially when she said so to your face, it must make you even more sad ...... However, you can't let you deny yourself just because of her one person's denial of you. It's more important for a guy to be handsome because he's cute than to be cute because he's handsome, so don't let her one word make you lose your evaluation of yourself. #\"The character is becoming more and more withdrawn, the relationship with parents is getting worse and worse, more and more do not love to communicate do not love to communicate, do not dare to look at other people directly, do not dare to talk to strangers, try to cover up their own shortcomings, go out and wear a mask all the time, at night will not be able to help messing up their thoughts, crying.\" #These are all because of the negative impact this thing has had on you, it's okay, let's analyze it together. If she liked you, she wouldn't have said something like \"ugly\", and if she was a gentle and kind person, she wouldn't have made such a comment. So maybe she's not as good as you think and doesn't deserve your love. So there is no need for you to be too sad and think of suicide because of her words. Our lives are precious, precious in the sense that we have to love all the good things. Self-confidence in the establishment of your self-confidence is relatively lack of, but this incident is just a small episode of your long life, if you sink, it will be difficult to usher in the turnaround. So letitgo! She can be a kind of external driving force, so that you want to surpass her, make yourself excellent, let her know how shallow she was at the beginning. Also, you will meet many like-minded people. That's why it's important to disconnect and stop in time. She is not worth your attachment. When you have a new beginning, everything will be solved! Good luck with your studies and your future!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject! My heart aches for you after seeing your question, and I hope my answer will help you. The subject of the current problem is that at the age of 13 years old by the favorite girl said to the face of the ugly, two years have been grudging, so that they are more and more withdrawn, and the relationship with their parents is not good, out of the door do not dare to take off the mask, and even do not want to live of the idea. Although their favorite girls said their own ugly, the heart will be very sad, but things in the past we can not have been to such things can not be relieved, you are only 15 years old, it is a good time, you should look forward, in front of an infinite number of good things waiting for you. If the girl said this sentence is just thoughtless words or bad mood to say out of the untrue words, you are now experiencing the pain is not very should not. Even if the girl said the truth at that time, you can through your learning, improve their temperament and cultivation to refresh their own charm, but also can not be self-sacrificing it. Although we don't know each other, you are only a teenager, and many of my students are about the same age, I sincerely hope that your life is happy and happy! You can find confidence through the following methods, become happy and happy a good study 15 years old is a great time to learn, study hard, to raise their own grades, good grades may get teachers and classmates affirmation, when the confidence naturally enhanced two, more books, broaden the horizons of classmates to mention a point of knowledge, you can be a so and so, then you will get the classmates' Appreciation of the eyes. Third, more sports more sports, such as running, etc., the body's labor can make their own not think. I hope my answer to you have helped, I and the world love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hahaha, another teenage Werther's Trouble. Wouldn't it be a shame to come into the world and leave without being loved by your favorite person? Shouldn't a man be prepared to accept a lot of pain and stay strong? You are still at the foot of the mountain and cannot see the infinite scenery at the top and behind the mountain, so you should not give up lightly. I've heard of many encounters like yours, and I've heard of girls who end up being impressed. Of course, I've also heard of endings where the guy later realizes that the girl wasn't that great, and endings where the guy meets a girl he likes better elsewhere, etc. If you are not married to her, then you should keep improving your charisma to get an overall plus. For example, write poems, songs. Your talent will be more attractive than your appearance.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "More look at Ma Yun more look at the previous fat Peng Yuyan, they are not accepted in the past, but now realize the self-growth of the past you do not represent the future you may be you have not fully developed to participate in sports activities, a reasonable diet, early to bed and early to rise, these are conducive to the change of your appearance. Those who are tall and handsome boys are certainly popular but not always reliable, some have been short and ugly through their own efforts to change the handsome. You are a boy to have self-confidence and confidence, not good, we have to work hard to change, other people's criticism there is a change without adding encouragement, acceptance of self love and cherish their own bodies, because the parents to give birth to you to raise you is not easy.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "I tell you a very good way: more look at today's male god childhood photos, you will find that they are very \"runt\" as a child, but now how so handsome? There is only one answer, is to dress up, of course, I said will dress up is not to wear some brand-name children, or drive a good car, etc., that with us the gap is too big. What we need to do is to find our own appropriate dress, not to hide themselves. We are not antiques, the more we hide them, the more they are worth, right? Besides, now you are 15 years old, you have your own aesthetic, and not RMB, can you do everyone like it? No! Just be yourself and find the most suitable life style for yourself, the road is still long, the future is anyone's guess. In case, you look more and more like a god, then you have to give me an autographed photo ah! So that's why! Don't hide yourself, don't say you don't want to live, look at those who are worse than you, they are still alive! Right?",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello boys, looks are really kind of important. A good looking and well dressed person is a beautiful sight to behold, so striking that it's hard to look away and want to get closer. I can't help but look at good looking strangers. It's a pleasure to look at. Good looks can be a very useful tool for socializing, making friends, and getting things done, which can make many things go a little smoother than they would have if you weren't so good looking. But life is not just about opening doors. Life is mainly a door behind those roads. Once the door has been knocked open, you still have to walk on the ground to reach your destination. Walking is not an advantage for good-looking people in most cases. Because the convenience of good looks makes them have a more objective understanding of the real difficulties of life, and their survival skills are not honed and improved as they should be, after opening a door more easily than ordinary people, they are more likely to lag behind ordinary people in the journey behind the door because of their lack of practical ability. Simply put, good looks may enable some people to open doors that their actual tapping ability cannot reach (i.e., through good looks, they are able to get to a higher level of opportunity than people who want to be average in appearance with the same ability), but this is not necessarily a good thing. My sister has been alive for over thirty years and has seen a lot of people not counting countless. My experience is that for people who don't have enough inner beauty, outer beauty is more often than not a burden that lowers their quality of life. My neighbor's sister is very pretty, the school flower level, since childhood love letters are stacks and stacks of receipt. But everyone around her, including me who grew up with her, didn't like her much. This person has a bunch of small problems, but also very boring, ignorant, shallow, not kind, no sympathy and lazy, uneducated and unmotivated. Strangers who see her are stunned to the point that their eyes are straight and hard to take their eyes off her, and not many of her friends who have been with her for a long time think very highly of her. The reason for this is that the people around her unconsciously harsh on her more or less always a little bit hate its not a factor, after all, watching a good skin to be spoiled, quite a pity. Her relationship path is not smooth, because of the beauty of his pursuit of people and because she has no inner beauty and quickly broke up with her. This process was repeated over and over again, resulting in her having a mild case of misogyny. Now she's in her thirties, no longer gorgeous, slightly fat, no longer bright, has accomplished nothing, doesn't have any good friends, and is still single. It's safe to say that her good looks have gotten her into trouble (and made her fall behind at an age when she should have been working hard and not thinking about making progress). My ex-boyfriend, taller than five meters, work out for one or two hours a day, eight-pack abs, beautiful, love to dress up, in the eyes of outsiders, a man in the shape of a dog all flirty. The ambiguous period when I can like him, moody, will engage in romance, dating is very happy, good-looking will also dress up, take out also have face, family and work is also good, is to consider marriage object. After dating for a while, I changed my mind about him completely, and I was annoyed when I saw him. This person TM is a huge baby plus mom treasure, twenty-something years old so big people, basically no opinion and vigor, the family said what is what, the work can only rely on the family to find. And white blind so strong, that ability is not at all, never lasted more than ten minutes. In short, with him looking at the scenery, heart only bitter. Thanks to his blessing, after the breakup of a long time I see the appearance of good-looking men with good body have subtle psychological shadow. After thirty years of living, I found that the better friends around me are basically ordinary-looking. They are generally low-key, clear goals, persistent efforts, focus on self-growth, whether in the circle of friends or in the industry have a more reliable reputation, career, family and friends are more stable and harmonious. So ah, children, sister would like to tell you: life in the world will meet many people happen many things, appearance can bring people's benefits is short-lived and unstable. Often, if you don't have a good interior that matches your beautiful exterior, having a good skin is even more unfortunate than having a bad appearance. What is more important in life is to have a healthy mind, stable relationships, the ability to trust and love, and financial independence or better financial ability. These factors build up a person's inner beauty that is solid and stable, and will not be corroded by the years like the outside, but will become more and more translucent and moving in the course of time, and can continue to attract people to come close to it throughout their lives, and even can be immortalized as a permanent beauty. You said yourself from the age of 13 by the favorite person hurt after \"more and more do not love to communicate do not love to communicate, do not dare to look at other people, do not dare to talk to strangers, trying to hide their own shortcomings, go out all the time with a mask, the night will not be able to help but mess thinking about it\", my sister looked at the heartache of you really. Appearance is not as important as you think. The appearance is not as important as you think, and the bad appearance is definitely not a disadvantage as you think. There are only lazy people in this world, not ugly people. Just make yourself clean and tidy. Most people are too preoccupied with their own world and trying to improve their own state of being to pay much attention to the appearance of others. A person who uses their appearance to denigrate others to their face is twisted and sick inside, and such people should be treated with compassion and respect. There is no need to grieve for such people for too long or even doubt your life because of it. You have too low self-esteem right now and need to gain some essential security and confidence before you are able to socialize properly. Basic security and confidence comes from your own inner fortitude and the support of those around you. So you don't need to force yourself to \"communicate with others, look at others, talk to strangers\". You should force yourself to communicate with your family, to look them in the eye, and to talk to them calmly. When the habit becomes natural, then force yourself to communicate with your familiar classmates or friends, look them in the eye, and talk to them. Doing these two steps will allow you to build up a basic sense of security and confidence before you are able to communicate with other unfamiliar people. When you are able to communicate with unfamiliar people, then consider working on your ability to socialize with strangers. Improve your family relationships first. Then slowly improve your relationships with your classmates. When your social relationships are more solid, you will feel more secure and more motivated to improve yourself and make yourself a more reliable family member, friend and lover. \"You can't get fat in one bite.\" Change takes time. There is no rush, take your time. You still have lots and lots of time to shape another, more secure and empowered state of life that is completely different from your current state. Child, you were chosen out of billions of sperm to come into this world. Your existence is precious and you have your own unique existence. You are only 15 years old, your life has just begun, and there is plenty of room for you to move forward and develop. Don't waste your precious energy and time by being overly obsessed with your appearance, which is hard to change. You should try to become a better person on the inside, and try to be a self that you would like. Learn to love yourself more. Don't be crushed by people who don't respect you, don't pay for people who don't value your precious emotions, and don't give up on yourself. Aside from fantasy-filled, detached love, other feelings in life are especially precious and can warm the heart more permanently. You might try closing your eyes that only see love, and opening your other eye to see other existences that are also important. Think about it, if you hadn't met that girl you liked when you were 13 years old, if she hadn't told you that you were ugly, would you be in the same state of life as you are now? If after thinking about it you feel that you would have been more confident if you hadn't met her. Then you need to consider if it's not a bit silly to base your life and worldview on a girl you don't know and have no empathy for. If you still don't feel confident and have trouble connecting with people even without meeting her, what is causing this? If so, you need to find out why further, and if necessary, you need to consult a professional and reach out for help. Phases are born from the heart. Self-esteem, self-love, self-discipline and self-motivation will make your heart shine, and this inner light will eventually make even your ordinary appearance take on a glow and radiate a unique charm that belongs to you. Children, go to sports, go to study, to care for those who pay for you, to continue to improve yourself! 25 years old that excellent and happy you are also for today's you to encourage it. Your future lover is also trying to improve herself with the hope that she will be in a better state when she meets you. Don't give up on yourself, don't leave. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "You have to learn to love yourself first, big brother. You have to think ah, the appearance is not we can decide, it does not blame us ah you can live out an interesting soul, more rich themselves, learn to seriously love themselves, such as if you have not loved themselves, others why love you it to turn themselves into worthy of being loved, no special appearance, then be sure to reward yourself with an interesting soul ah, lovely lovely love, who have been around for a long time will like you is not there! Ah, patiently waiting, I am twenty years old have not found a boyfriend it, slowly wait for it, your Ta is on the way to Oh, in the meantime, put their own Nu efforts to become superb, refueling ^ ^ ^ ~ with your encouragement.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 13734
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if my parents are too much in charge and I feel like I have no personal space?",
        "description": "My parents always ask me about every aspect of my life and always interfere with my choices, asking me to call them every day, and although I know they care about me, I feel like I have no freedom, like I'm confined, and I lack personal space.",
        "keywords": "Family, parental communication, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ Given your question, I made the following answer 1. learn to \"communicate\", you say you do not have their own private space, you can try to communicate with your parents to communicate and exchange, to express their inner thoughts and their own heart, so that parents know what you really think, if parents do not understand you, you can explain to the parents and show their own difficulties, so that parents understand your own difficulties and sympathize with you, this can effectively bring you and your parents closer to the relationship. If your parents do not understand you, you can explain to your parents and show their own difficulties, so that your parents understand your own difficulties and sympathize with you, so you can effectively close the relationship between you and your parents, open your heart and your parents to communicate positively and boldly, this is one of the best methods, so that you can not only close the relationship between you and your parents, but also to increase your own language skills, is simply the best of both worlds. 2. learn to \"Think differently\", if your parents do not give you your private space, you can \"think differently\", stand in the parents' point of view, sympathize with your parents' heart, know your parents' true heart, you can also tell your parents, so that parents learn to \"think differently\". \"Thinking differently\", so that parents into your heart, you into the heart of the parents, mutual understanding, mutual learning, \"there is a change, without adding encouragement\", if you have to do bad things, parents put forward, you have to correct in a timely manner, if you do not have such ideas If you don't have this kind of idea, you have to encourage yourself and try not to do this kind of person 3. If the above answer can't solve your actual problem, it is recommended to find out the professional counselor in time to further understand and communicate with them Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 3312
       },
       {
        "question": "A deeper analysis of why parental fighting affects the physical and mental health of children.",
        "description": "Parents when the child quarrel once, see 5-year-old child yelled out no quarrel, eyes full of tears, I want to know from the child's psychology in the end what happened?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, upbringing",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see the words. I am very happy that the subject realized the problem and actively seek to solve it. Most families tend to ignore the child's feedback, which in turn leaves a deep psychological trauma for the child and affects the child's ability to build close relationships. First of all, the subject in this case is the parents involved in the fight, at that time is angry, angry; and the child as a viewer, and our role is different, we do not quite understand his psychological activities. Now let's think about it differently, the subject close your eyes, pull the memory back to your own childhood, your own parents quarreled angrily in front of you, attacking each other, the skinny self in the side of the helpless watching, what kind of feelings you will have? Did it feel a little bit? When we are children, we are incapable of protecting ourselves and completely dependent on the outside world, and this is when our parents are our heaven, our all. When a child watches their parents start attacking each other, the world becomes an extremely unsafe place for them to live in, and they have no power to make any changes, they can only watch helplessly and despairingly. There's a line in Star Trek that makes a lot of sense when someone asks the protagonist: didn't you tell your daughter you were there to save the world? Cooper says: No. When you're a parent, one thing that becomes very clear to you is that you have to make sure your child feels safe. When a child comes into the world without any ability or support, the world is not safe for them, and it's the protection and harmony of their parents that plants a sense of security in their hearts so that even if they encounter great difficulties in the future, they will have the belief that they can overcome them. The child who has not gained a sense of security, in this world, even after more years of career success, others like, he is still the child who hides in the corner of the helpless shivering, never get the inner peace. This may be the biggest destruction of the parents' quarrel for the child's heart, while the others will make the child also become emotionally uncertain and incapable of handling the conflicts they will face in the future, all are afterthoughts. So it is best not to fight in front of the child, if you really do not have control of the quarrel, then also to appease the child, that mom and dad will always love you to protect you, and also love each other, just encounter things to deal with the way a little bit wrong, we grow together. Every child hopes that the world will always love him.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, it is said that children are the angels of their parents, and they are accompanied by their parents' love when they come into this world. In fact, the child has also been a mirror of the parents, to help parents see themselves and correct themselves. The child sees his parents fighting, the inner is particularly contradictory, both sides are love themselves and their loved ones, they can not help both ends, the child must be very painful, only to stay in tears and say stop. The child is 5 years old, this time is not quite clear what causes parents to fight, this time the child likes to take what things to themselves, what good things happen at home is caused by themselves, bad things happen is also caused by themselves. But the child's inner pain is already written on his or her face, hoping that his or her parents will stop arguing. If there are quarrels in the family for a long time, the child will be particularly insecure. I hope the subject can maintain a harmonious family atmosphere with his family, which is the most favorable for the growth of the child. Good luck~~.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "First of all you are able to pay attention to your child's feelings and such a parent must not be bad! Self-attribution A child is very sensitive to changes in the mood of his parents, he is perfectly capable of catching the low pressure in the house. When parents are unhappy, fighting, sulking, cold war, a young child does not realize what is really happening. He will only relate it to whether he is unlovable or not, and plant a seed in his young heart: \"If I am good, mom and dad are happy, if I am not good, mom and dad are not happy, they are always unhappy, it must be because I am not good. They think I'm not cute.\" The child's inner subconscious may never be told to adults, but his mind will be completely plunged into the painstaking and heartbreaking \"upwardly pleasing\" soup of the mind, which will be distorted day by day. Pay more attention to your child's feelings and let him or her learn to express them!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, adults usually have some restraint, but whenever it comes to the point of quarrel, usually the emotions are out of control, then the concentration of emotions is very strong, the face is hideous, is very scary. You can observe yourself to see the scene of two adults quarreling. Then try to squat down to the height of the child to see, to experience more or less understand what the child sees. Not to mention the fact that the two parties are the mom and dad he relies on the most, that kind of occasion for him is war, is a storm. It's scary.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "At the age of three, you can see how old you are at the age of seven. Everyone walks in the world with a child's skill, and the nurturing environment and attachment relationship in childhood lays the foundation for a child's happiness or lack thereof in his or her life. Parents are the first teachers of children. In the family, the father is like a mountain, standing tall, holding the child up to see the world; the mother is like water, surrounded by nourishing everywhere, is the dynamic beauty. When a child grows up under the nourishment of good mountains and good water, the child's mind is rich and mellow; it is difficult to raise a child with a rich mind in poor mountains and bad water. Parental relationships and interaction patterns are implanted in the child's bloodstream, and are consciously or unconsciously involved in the child's future intimate relationships and workplace relationships. Half of the child comes from the father and half from the mother. When the parents have a harmonious relationship, the child's heart is unified and united; when the father's relationship is in conflict, the child's heart is painfully torn. Children love their parents far more than parents love their children. In the eyes of the child, parents are the source of life, the place where we belong, and the basis for survival. The child may feel that he or she is not a good child, that he or she is wrong, and this fear from within may cause him or her to yell out loud, full of tears, and the child's expectations of the parental relationship may give rise to many symptoms. If you can, crouch down, give your child a warm hug, and tell him it's not your fault. If you love your child, give him stable and safe companionship, okay?",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Nowadays, the movie and television, has paid much attention to this aspect, whenever an argument is about to happen, there will be a person to say: do not quarrel in front of the child. This is the progress of society, know the formation of the child's personality, psychological growth are to be carefully maintained by parents, so that they are adults with a face of frank, all righteous, not humble. When faced with parental quarrels, children are first afraid, they don't know what is happening and whether they will be abandoned. The high decibel level of the argument is not pleasant to listen to, the escalating battlefield is frightening, and the ensuing cold war is unsettling. Arguments make adults panic, not to mention children. Every adult has come from childhood and has heard of it without experiencing it, and it doesn't make you feel good to think about it. Arguments are inevitable, but try not to do it in front of the children.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 8776
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I comfort myself when I often feel especially sad about my monthly exam tomorrow?",
        "description": "I'm in school right now and it's just upper intermediate, but I was ranked well in my grade before and was considered a good student, and now my mom is often upset every day because of my grades, and I can feel that she's especially anxious about it. I also want to tell her that it's nothing, but she just thinks that I don't want to study, asking me if I'm some kind of early love, asking me what I think about all day. But even the girls who usually study well and play well with me don't want to talk to me about the answers or discuss the questions after the exam, I feel that she is not very willing to give me the questions, and will deliberately avoid me to ask her questions. My mom has enrolled me in a one-on-one tutoring program, and I really don't feel the need for it, and I'm a little afraid of it, because in the past I always thought how bad a person would have to be to hire a tutor. There are times when I really envy my ex-desk, her parents feel very forward-thinking she is very active and lively, the grades are even a little worse than I am now. But she also does not make up lessons and so on wrote so many scattered words actually want to express their feelings, originally began to write the side of crying while writing, and now really calmed down a lot, I also want to hope that someone can enlighten a comfort or give some learning math methods, in fact, is the finale of some can not, the basis is not bad, the monthly examination tomorrow, I hope to get strangers your blessings thank you!",
        "keywords": "Growth, Stress Management, Work Study, Student Development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the owner. I can see that you are more nervous and stressed before the exam. First of all, I wish you good luck for the exam tomorrow! In fact, you are more satisfied with your own learning situation, think you are a good student, right? You have such self-knowledge and self-confidence is indeed very good, to insist on it ah! It's normal for your mom, as a parent, to be nervous about your studies. It shows that she cares about you, which is much better than those parents who don't do anything, don't you think? But there's a saying that \"caring is messy\". Your mother is not you, your learning situation may not know very well, she instinctively nervous about your learning, so it is easy to mess up, with her own think correct and effective way to help you, such as nagging to urge you to study, to help you to hire a tutor. You have to understand that her intention is to do what is best for you, not to make things difficult for you or to discourage you, just that this kind of good intention may not be very appropriate for you. Suggest that you can boldly communicate with your mother, explain to her your situation, so that she understands clearly how your current level of learning, in order to put her mind at ease, perhaps they will respect your wishes and will not arrange for you. As for your feeling that your female classmate will avoid you after the exam, I wonder if she often does this or is she behaving this way only this time? The reasons for this may be complex and not necessarily what you speculate. Maybe she feels tired after the exam and doesn't want to talk about what she studied; maybe she feels that she doesn't need to discuss it anymore after the exam; maybe she just has something else to do and doesn't have time to pay attention to you. ...... No matter what the reason is, you don't need to spend your mind and energy to speculate too much, and you don't need to look at her with a kind of negative thoughts, which will only disturb your mind and heart. will only disturb your mind and emotions, you need to be more focused at this time. If you are trying to find out the correct answer, you can go directly to someone like a teacher or a study committee member to get it. You see that your front desk has it easy, no exam pressure, and envy her. But you invested time and energy to study hard, you also gained better grades than her ah, maybe she is also envious of you inside. We tend to envy what others have, and ignore what we already have, which is what we value most. As for the math problem, I myself in the math is a dilemma, I guess the learning is much worse than you, can not give you any good advice. When I was a student, my parents hired a tutor to help me with math, and my grades did improve. So if you feel that math is still lacking, you may want to accept your mom's tutoring arrangement and hire a tutor to assist you in overcoming your math difficulties. As students, there is no shame in admitting that we are not good at something. Hiring a tutor doesn't show that you are bad, on the contrary, it shows that you still have a heart for learning and hope to improve and upgrade yourself, and it also shows that you still have the opportunity to improve and strengthen yourself. You said you cried while writing and are much calmer now. It seems that you have mastered two good ways of venting your emotions - one is to cry out generously when you feel bad, and the other is to write down your thoughts and emotions. Both methods are able to help you relieve your emotions and become aware of your inner self. Hopefully at this point you have crossed this emotional hurdle and regained the energy to move forward. Good luck with the exam! Cheer up~!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 20319
       },
       {
        "question": "Used to be better, but now that I'm almost 30, I'm a little anxious about my age?",
        "description": "I made a couple hundred thousand dollars my senior year. Graduated and partnered with a big business. got lucky at 25 and made a million dollars at once. Later on, some of the money earned has been squandered. Some of it was invested in myself. Feeling definitely more mature than in previous years. More capable. But sometimes I think about it. I'll be 29 after the new year. Girls. It feels like the same accomplishments don't seem as good as they did in previous years anymore. Competent people are also doing very successfully at this age. Also worried about not having as much energy as I used to when I got older. I don't want to get married. I want to rely on myself in the future. I'm also worried about failing to move up the ladder. I'm afraid I'll lose my youth. I'm not willing to maintain the status quo. I'm anxious. I worry about getting older. I have lost the image of being young and talented in the eyes of others. I'm not as fearless as I was when I was 22, when I thought I was young anyway. What about the state of mind I'm in now?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Moods, Anxiety, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see the words! Before responding to your obsession, I would like to give you a sincere kudos from across the screen! Because this experience, in addition to the luck you mentioned in your description, it also proves to some extent that you are good enough. However, everyone has a heart to become \"better\", and the bottleneck for most of us may be in the word \"better\". Well, now let's try to do a bit of combing and transformation of your troubles: 1. feel the same results do not appear to be excellent in previous years; for this, I want to share with you is: each period of time has each period of time of the color and characteristics of the period of time, so each period of time have to that period of time want to experience more things or even to complete the psychological need for more goals, and the goal in general is to set more and more higher, which is the same as the This is the same as the principle of the game of \"breakthrough\". So dear, what we need to think and measure in this trouble is - the lower and upper limits of the goal, we need to have a \"ruler\" in our heart, that \"ruler\" can be used to help us measure ourselves and our goals. We need to have a \"ruler\" in our mind, which can be used to measure the distance between ourselves and our goals, while what we need to consider consciously is the possibility of achieving our goals. The \"possibility of achieving the goal\" part is perhaps the least affected by the objective conditions, because I believe that no matter how long the time has passed, the goal is still ahead, so in fact, we have to ask ourselves more: that goal is still not our goal. You see, it's easy to answer, right? Only need to answer \"yes\" or \"no\" - response to here, to send you a word of advice: when we are in a period of the road so lost that we do not know how to go or even doubt whether to continue to go, just stop for a moment to ask yourself why the first place. When we are on a road and we are so lost that we don't know how to go or even doubt whether we should continue, we should stop for a while and ask ourselves why we started. --The two perspectives to ask yourself can be: a. What is my goal? b. Have I achieved my goal? 2. Age anxiety, energy anxiety and marriage anxiety; for this series of anxiety, I would like to share with you that: we have no way to determine \"what to do at what age\", and the least we can do is \"what to do at what age\", and the least we can do is \"what to do at what age\", and the least we can do is \"what to do at what age\". The most important thing we can't be sure of is \"what to do at what age\", and the least important thing we need to be sure of is \"what to do at what age\". --Because life is a road full of possibilities, if we easily set limits for ourselves, we may miss out on a lot of scenery that is worth experiencing. So in conclusion, I'd like to transform the last paragraph of your description into a message for you: age is just a marker, and there's a lot more we can do on this marker, even if we feel older and less energetic, it's our body reminding us to start loving ourselves! We can't stop the years from passing, but what they do give us is experience, and experience is infinitely expandable! Without the fearlessness of the 22-year-old, but can have the calmness of the soon-to-be three. This calmness needs to be obtained through the trials of life, so this matter rest assured to time, it will give you an answer, then please warmly embrace their own changes. Action is the key to relieve anxiety, this key is in our hands, rest assured to do what you like, love your loved ones, may each other can be the best help each other to fulfill their dreams. May the above understanding and response be helpful to you. I wish you peace!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, giving you a hug! Time is a double-edged sword, it can get us out of trouble, can also take us into trouble, how to utilize the time but has become a problem, many people live a lifetime, do not understand what in the end to do? Some people very early for their own life design route ...... but in any case at least thirty you realize some of the problems, for women, thirty years old the beginning of the great years of struggle. It's just that you are facing some problems now. #Moving up the ladder is also a fear of failure. # Fear of delayed youth. #Unwilling to maintain the status quo. #Anxious. #Worrying about getting older. #Losing the image of youthfulness that you once had in the eyes of others. All of these things you worry about are things we go through, and people are most afraid of falling from a high place because for a while they will not be able to find a way to climb up and get stuck at the bottom. The owner of the building at a young age to make a difference, may be because of some internal and external and external reasons, now have to feel like nothing, want to change, and suddenly realized that they have too many concerns, hindering the way forward. If your heart is not willing, do what makes your heart willing. Life is in a hurry, come to the world to go back is not easy, life is just a few decades, do not go to fight, leaving only regret. There is no medicine for regret, as long as they still want to fight for things. Don't worry, rest assured to do it, even if not good and how, at least I have struggled, struggled, better than a lifetime of wanting but not acted. The main thing to do is first of all to have a momentum. Do not have too many worries, before why will be successful, most of us will not think so much, want to do to do, whether it is successful or not, there is a kind of calf is not afraid of the spirit of the tiger. But there has been an experience, once again want to do it again will have concerns, hindering us to move forward, unless you think such a person you can accept, otherwise, you let go of the fight, no regrets! The owner is a wonderful girl, I'm sure you will be able to make the right decision soon, go for it, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! ~~ Koko, I'm so glad to have your invitation and thank you so much for trusting me. In your narrative I see a, with twenty-five years of age has made millions of young talent, and now? Because he is about to reach thirty, a little anxious about his own age, afraid that he is not as good as he was when he was 25 years old. We are at each stage, there are different states of mind, but also have different goals, but also in the completion of different tasks. You said in the title: feel more mature than the previous years, more capable ...... Maybe your way of thinking now, and the ability to deal with the work is different from that self of 25, maybe you bring the success of 25 years old, you also bring their own maturity to consider things more thoroughly, maybe you also do not have the same boldness as the 25 years old age You will become more stable, maybe we will encounter ups and downs in our life after 30, but we also have the ability to cope well with our failures and setbacks at 30. We as women, 30 years old is a hurdle, as if for this line we are very afraid, as if as a woman, 30 years old self will not have the beauty of 20 years old, 30 years old self will not have the bravery of 20 years old, it feels like 30 years old our life is more pursuing a sense of stability, we are more afraid of the unknown and uncertainty. Whenever we have the anxiety of 30 years old, we try to reflect on \"why are you afraid\", it may be afraid that you are not as good as you were in your 20s, or you may be looking forward to your life after 30 years old but you are very confused. Every one of us is afraid of failure. Failure has a lot of negative experiences in our heart, which makes us feel bad, but what is the positive meaning of failure? It can teach us some experiences and lessons, if we are afraid of the results of failure, not to do anything, our life is only left to wait. I hope my answer can help you. Good luck! Let's look forward to our 30 year old selves \uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello, really feel your outstanding ahead of your peers, more importantly, you found the right field for yourself early and made remarkable achievements. Perhaps now you feel yourself and a few years ago than you seem to be less spirited, the creation of achievements also stagnated in a not on the height, can understand your anxiety now it. According to your description, \"I feel that the same achievements are not as good as in previous years. Stronger people are also doing very successful at this age\", you feel distressed about the current situation of the idea reminds me of a and your description and similar to the person, that is, the founder of millet technology Lei Jun. It is said that he became the president of Kingsoft period, when Ma Yun and Zhou Hongyi and other later Internet bigwigs are not as high as his popularity, he is considered to be a model of young and talented. But because he missed a lot of opportunities to ride on the Internet in Kingsoft, many later came up with better results than his previous glory, he also had a period of confusion. But he did not once depressed, we all know that he later created a good reputation of millet phone. Maybe this example can bring you some reference, it can be seen that you do have the talent, might as well put down the hesitation to play your talent.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2719
       },
       {
        "question": "How can we help individuals from poor families of origin to build their self-confidence?",
        "description": "College students, the housemate's family of origin is not very good, she is not willing to do anything but study every day, and do not know how to get along with others, always very low self-esteem, how to help her get rid of the feeling of low self-esteem?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Your willingness to ask for help and care for your housemate's problems is really heartwarming to see such behavior actually. There aren't many people who have good families of origin are there, everyone has their own issues that they need to deal with I don't think there's any need to dwell on them. Look at the moment, do not emphasize the problem of the family of origin, more concerned about the housemate, but also let her know that you are worried about, and she went shopping, dinner, try some new things, it is very good, she will feel recognized by you, willing to get close to her, she will also appreciate your company to get rid of the feeling of inferiority, and more need to work hard on their own, and she is now likely to go through the grades to build up their own self-confidence, a little bit of confidence, I believe she can go through their own efforts to go through, I believe that she can go through a little bit of confidence, I think that she can go through their own efforts. I believe she can go through her own efforts to go to a good one.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "1. Since you know your own shortcomings, not good with others, low self-esteem, then there is a way to find a group of people worse than yourself, then you immediately do not have low self-esteem, then you can get along well with others. 2. If you still want to get along well with your former classmates, then you have to accept the reality that you're not good in all aspects of the world, and you can even tell others that you're not good enough, and open up your heart, and yourself Accept yourself, and then others will accept you.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 10624
       },
       {
        "question": "Growing up, why was I always prone to such strong emotional reactions?",
        "description": "The homeroom teacher in high school was very mean. She would yell at the class every day. Late for class, sleep in class will call us a few students in the office to stand. Said some especially fierce, especially cranky words. Other students were afraid of bullying. There is no emotion, obediently submit. I am the only one. Resistance, resentment. Hold a grudge for a long time. Later, glared at him during homeroom. Do not study well. After graduating from college there was a time when a program judge acted a bit grumpy. I had a particularly strong emotional reaction too. Why did he do that to me? What is the reason. After a long time to hold a grudge. Similar of course also appeared in the face of investors. When conflicts arise. Whenever the other party does not speak properly. I have a greater emotional reaction. At the same time, I am especially prone to over-rewarding some people who treat me well, and get caught up in sweet talk. What's wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotional Regulation, Emotional Intelligence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dearfriend: reading about your experience, three stories in a row, is making you react in the same way. Going to the third one started to make you reflect. Let's go over why that is. All three stories, with similar characters, had a particularly dramatic reaction. This dramatic reaction is motivated by psychological defenses. Especially when you're an hour old, when you're dealing with an authority figure, which is your elementary school teacher. Because based on the feeling that you are very small, still a child, you have to face an adult, and you can only face it in the way you perceive it at that time, to protect yourself. But time has passed and you have not deliberately adjusted this way of facing, based on fear, thus triggering your emotional response again, creating an unconscious conditioned reflex, commonly known as the emotional button. Because of fear, defense. How much fear, how much defense. The intense reaction you describe suggests that you were fearful and even thought you were going to be destroyed. Being super nice to people who are nice to you, and super mean to people who are mean to you, comes from having a split view of the self, and then projecting that split thinking onto others. As a result, the mindset of \"all good, all bad\" is formed. To change these two types of behavior and thinking, correct cognition is needed. First of all, recognize yourself spiritually as you are, the complete, whole, and unique you, the one who can be one with all things. You are both sacred and can see the sacredness of all things. You are not particularly great, nor are you particularly small, but you are able to live in harmony with all things and are one. [Second] Mentally Recognize Yourself You have both your strengths and your weaknesses. The integration of the bright side and the dark side is the complete you. [Third] Properly recognize othersA person with strengths will also have weaknesses; likewise, a person with weaknesses will also have strengths. This is the real and complete them. Everyone desires to be loved, that is, to be able to see all people in an integrated way, so as not to rely solely on those who are good to you, and to be able to balance all relationships. You will not be destroyed if you are not loved. Even though we all desire to be loved, there are situations where things don't work out the way we want them to, no matter what the reason behind it is. It's great to have the appreciation and acceptance of the other person, and even if you don't, it's not the end of the world and you won't be destroyed. Therefore, you can actually forgive the people inside these three stories, and even more. [Fifth] You are integrated with everything Understand it in terms of transcending the material world, you are connected to everyone, and everyone is connected by the network of people behind them, invisibly. As a result, you get to know more people and are better able to see them with an integrated perspective. It's this invisible connection behind the scenes that allows you to rise above being hated in a small corner of the moment. There's no destruction in there, and you don't feel fearful or alone, only peace, calm, and joy. Fear and defensiveness fade away when you realize that even if there are emotions in others, you are not really being destroyed. One good, one hundred good, one hundred bad, all are just labels given to them by people, which are just representations after projection. I hope you can realize your original self, and use your original self to connect with other integrated souls.Bestwishes!Yourfriend:Audrey.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How old is the owner? I feel that the owner is a straightforward and fastidious person ah! The owner think about it: growing up, which people have a greater influence on you? Including movie and television characters ah. What did you feel from their behavior? What beliefs did you form? When the high school homeroom teacher was mean to the class, and all the other students were afraid of the bully, but you were the only one who resisted and resented, what did you feel inside? What are your inner feelings when the program judges act a little cranky? What is behind these feelings? The owner of this question, that you have realized that this \"fast and furious\" way, although the moment is very cool, but more or less still some \"childish and rigid\", \"violence for violence, a tooth for a tooth! \", seems to show your \"power\", but not also some disguised \"controlled by others\" suspicion? Your \"emotional button\" seems to hold in the hands of others! Try to slow down your reaction when you encounter this kind of thing again. \"True strength may not be what you conquer, but what you learn to live with.\" Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Listening to your account, I see an image of a person who has a vibrant vitality, who at the same time is prone to rebel against authority and is very eager for its approval. It feels as if you are stuck in a certain scenario: perhaps there has been a certain time or a certain experience that made you feel belittled or looked down upon, and the feeling at that time was too painful for you, and then you were very angry and very unwilling to be treated in such a way, but there was nothing you could do about it in the moment, so you could only endure it. Every time you encounter a similar scenario, the accumulated emotions burst out together and you are saying with all your strength, Never do this to me! Never! But after the episode, you worry about the appropriateness of reacting so violently, and whether it has brought about an adverse reaction. This is a good opportunity for reflection. It is recommended that you organize the incidents in which you had intense emotions, including aggressive or over-rewarding, into several dimensions: the incident, what you thought at the time, what you felt at the time, and what you did at the time, and summarize the circumstances under which you would be induced to act \"inappropriately\". The next time you encounter the same thing, start the same emotion, the brain will prompt you to start again. It just takes a lot of deliberate practice to realize that you're far from being in control. Keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings. It is assumed that you are a person who practises the principle of \"treating others as you would like to be treated\"; at the same time, you insist on the way of dealing with the world in which the strong are stronger and the weak are always weaker. This is related to your study and work experience, as well as the family environment you grew up in. You are confident, self-esteem, eyes can not tolerate a little sand. You are emotional and righteous, and you are persistent in your words. You are an emotionally and psychologically healthy person with no particularly outstanding problems. The one area that needs refinement and improvement is to improve your emotional intelligence. In these areas, you can take a look at books on the subject, which will help you a lot and change some of your views and ways of dealing with people in the world. I believe that through self-improvement, you will go better!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "According to you, it seems as if your emotions will be more violent when you meet a violent one, surpassing the other, and more soft when you meet a softer one, always surpassing the other. In this way, your emotions are not controlled by you, but by external factors, strong when you are strong, weak when you are weak. You really are something special. But emotions are not controlled by you, but by outside influences, and that's not good. You now realize that you need to slowly take back control, and you are in charge of your emotions.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2417
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm so tired of communicating with my parents. Is it worth it to go to a private college?",
        "description": "I want to go to school because it's a private college, and my dad doesn't think it's worth the investment. Is it really not worth it? Is it worth it if I'm forced to work part-time?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Work-Learning, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you a warm hug (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand the following: (1) There is a difference of opinion between the original poster and their father regarding their education and studies. (2) The original poster feels exhausted when communicating with their parents. Here is my analysis and advice, I hope it can help the original poster: It is clear that the original poster wants to attend this school. So, they need to think about how to get to that school. If they forcefully clash with their parents, the result will only get worse instead of better. As for how to communicate effectively with their parents, it depends on what their parents need and to consider the situation from the other person's perspective. Rational and calm communication might be the best choice. #The world and I love you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8594
       },
       {
        "question": "16 female, recently the grades have been regressing, mental breakdown can not think, how to do?",
        "description": "Recently my grades have been regressing, my parents are like a different person, always picking on one of my friends who has poor grades, my father doesn't care much about my studies and often says insulting language like trash, sb, etc. I feel schizophrenic and on the verge of a breakdown, what should I do? What should I do? Someone please help me.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, diagnosis of diseases, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, hugs to the owner, I sympathize with how the owner is feeling. I can see that the owner should be having a hard time right now. Because their academic performance has dropped, and perhaps now the relationship with their parents has become very tense. We sometimes will often see some words, this time the results directly determine to their own family status at home or directly determine to the New Year's money how much ah, or usually play the game length. There may be times when our academic performance is a little better, our parents' attitude towards us will become different. Our parents definitely want us to get better and better. About the matter of your grades dropping, I think you should go and think about it, why is it dropping, is it that you are distracted or that you didn't understand the lessons at this stage? You need to get to the source of the problem, as long as you know exactly why you are like this before you go to change. Parents sometimes say this, but most of the time they are actually talking in anger or they are trying to motivate you in this way. From now on, work hard, with their own actions to prove that you can prove that what they say is wrong, to prove how good you are, come on! Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6821
       },
       {
        "question": "What if I feel bad when someone in the group doesn't respond to me?",
        "description": "If that person I answer her question he ignores me, and if someone else talks he will someone else, it's like he's purposely targeting me, and I have a hard time with that. I also feel frustrated when people don't respond to me because they hate me and think I'm bad. What should I do? I can't stop thinking this way. I can't stop thinking this way.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Stress, Suspicion, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ answered other people's questions, but other people did not return their own, may not even say a thank you ...... On the one hand, it may be true that the quality of the other party is not very good, not very polite; on the other hand, we also have to go to see the other party whether we need to answer the answer? Because if the other party originally did not need our answer, then our answer may be in the other party's view. Then our answer may not be so important in the other party's view, so he will not go back to us. When someone doesn't reply us in time, we feel neglected and not respected enough, so we may feel very disappointed or sad. On the one hand, we feel this way in relation to the Focus Effect. The Focus Effect, is a manifestation of people overestimating the amount of attention people around them pay to their appearance and behavior. The Focus Effect means that humans tend to see themselves as the center of everything and intuitively overestimate how much attention others pay to us. The Focus Effect is actually something everyone experiences, a mental state that makes us overly focused on ourselves and overly concerned about how much attention people around us pay to us at parties or work gatherings. That is, we feel that the other person should be paying attention, that we should be responding in a timely manner, and that we should care about us a great deal. On the other hand, what we also need to be aware of is that by thinking this way, we are actually trying to make others responsible for our own emotions. We will think that I'm unhappy all because of someone else, because they didn't respond to me. If we leave our emotions in the hands of someone else, then we may be very passive and may experience frequent mood swings. So we need to cultivate our inner self to be the master of our own emotions. Not because of some external uncontrollable, some insecurity, affect our emotional stability.",
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        "questionID": 5967
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if my child is a junior in high school and has a tendency to fall in love early for fear that it will affect his studies?",
        "description": "What can parents do when their child is a junior in high school and feels that a boy likes him for fear of interfering with his studies?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Growing Up, Child Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. It's the same thing as Da Yu's water treatment, blocking won't work, you have to guide it. At this age, the child has a good feeling about others and is liked by others, first of all, I want to congratulate you, this shows that the child's psychological development is very normal, but also very good and recognized by the peer group. You said it was you who felt that a boy liked her, then you might as well tell her explicitly and have a good heart-to-heart talk. You don't have to reason with her. Sincerely talk about how you and her dad met and how you are working on your respective futures while looking forward to a better future when you are all together. You can also talk about your female friends, such as when you gave up your future for love, and how they are doing today. And at first do not take love as the only, love their own feathers, and then they are very good so met the same good half, now how how to live. Facts can be more touching than theories. The equal talk about the heart, but also help the child to open his heart, tell you her thoughts on love, school is more important, the requirements of the desired boy, the expectations of their own future. The child's wings are growing, parents learn to trust, learn to let go, teach her how to fly, far more sensible than minus the wings to protect under the wings to watch.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1568
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm 39 weeks pregnant and approaching labor, but I'm nervous as hell?",
        "description": "I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my first child, I went to the toilet in the morning and found some redness, I went to the hospital and the doctor said it's normal, so I stayed at home and waited for contractions to appear before I went to the hospital. Because of the epidemic, my parents and in-laws did not come home, just my husband and I, and my husband has to work during the day, and I'm the first child, no experience, which makes me particularly nervous, afraid that I gave birth to no one to take care of. Because I wash pots and pans at home did not get it right, resulting in the gas stove can not hit the fire, my husband gave me a temper, the heart is particularly difficult, and I am afraid of the emotional impact of early birth, in short, is all kinds of nervousness, all kinds of worry,, it is too difficult!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, prenatal and postnatal",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner of the building, hello ~ ~ ~ ~ to the subject of an encouraging hug, very understandable subject facing the tension of the first birth, I think the most important thing is that the subject should first calm their emotions, we can try to listen to some soothing music, deep breathing and other ways to ease the temporary tension of the mood Secondly, more to communicate with our doctors, so that professionals to give us guidance and advice, so that we can avoid their own unnecessary speculation leads to emotional changes, you can also watch some videos online professional advice to get more professional knowledge and for the other half, I think facing the birth of a family needs a joint effort and cooperation. Secondly, we can talk to our doctors more and let the professionals give us guidance and advice, so that we can avoid unnecessary speculation that leads to mood changes. We can also watch some videos on the internet with advice from professionals, so that we can have more professional knowledge and as for the other half, I think it takes a family to work together and cooperate when facing a labor.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11650
       },
       {
        "question": "It's really tiring to keep analyzing, why do I feel so miserable?",
        "description": "It feels like going back in time, and I'm really tired of analyzing myself non-stop. Can't stop that debate draft, constantly revising. I can't relax. I've been saying that I haven't read any novels, but I don't know why. I don't know if what I'm doing is what I want to do, but I'm always forcing myself. Now I don't want to send a question and answer, but I don't want to send the result again. The counselor did three off and on. University school to find, online at the moment heart app to find, online confiding. I just want to find a counselor who is suitable for me. The result is that I have high requirements. Back and forth to change. I'm in pain really in pain. I feel like my college is getting better and better, but I end up suffering more and more inside. Someone please help me, don't want to be doing things I don't want to do anymore",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Compulsive, Anxiety, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "How are you, dear subject? Read your description carefully. Hugs to you~~ Feel your anxiety, your brain can't stop and relax as if it's out of control. What you want to do and did not do, do not want to do and can not stop, feel very painful and overwhelmed. Been to three counselors and know that my college is getting better and better, but inside I'm in more and more pain. Hugs to you~~\ufe0f First of all, it's great that you have some awareness of yourself! Secondly, I also hope that you will continue to seek [professional] help if this state of misery continues for a longer period of time, or if it is affecting your normal life. Sometimes it's really not so easy to find the right counselor for you. Finally, I invite you to try practicing [meditation]. Start with the shortest meditations, starting with observing the breath. You may only be able to focus on your breath for a few breaths at first, and as you practice slowly, you will find that you can press the pause button on the thoughts in your head. The [Meditation Planet] is very good. I recommend it to you. May you rest in the present moment and have inner peace!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 1066
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you see who is really good for you?",
        "description": "Some of my current friends, I can't really see, and I don't know if it's because I'm too sensitive or something else, but there's always a feeling that I can't be trusted",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Friends, Deception and Trust, Social Adjustment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject, I feel your trouble, I don't know how to get along with friends. Our life is like a train, in the middle always up and down a lot of people, but the person who holds the steering wheel is always ourselves, up and down people have good and bad, but they all play a very key role in our growth. The good ones help us grow, the little ones help us see reality. Our perceptions, our way of thinking are changing, and many of our former friends are growing and are in flux, so when we feel like we are getting complicated and confused, we feel that way about our friends. People are complex and separate individuals. Many people can't figure themselves out, let alone others, so it's normal to feel unable to see. Trust a person is conditional, is a long time to get along, common experience some things slowly established sense of trust, and the degree of trust is also relative. Trust and distrust, grasp the degree can be, find a good balance relationship. Slowly grow, go for it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello, friends in the relationship, need to feel each other's emotions with sincerity, inner twist to learn and each other to express directly, the sense of trust is in the time and again in the relationship and get along. From your description, we can feel your current confusion, maybe some of the words and behavior of friends, let you feel not solid, or you in the process of getting along with them, because of hiding and repressing some of their own ideas and projected to the other side, that the other side is also not real. Did something happen to make you feel as distrustful as you do now? What were your thoughts and feelings at that time? Did you go further to express and communicate? What was their reaction and attitude? And so on. Your \"sensitivity\" may have a reason behind it, those things you suspect and often worry about, you need to talk to them, in the heart, will only make your speculation and suspicion deepen, and they may also be unaware of your inner feelings. Friendships should be about being honest and trusting with each other, but such a state of affairs requires effort on each other's part. Imagine, if you and your friends have a conflict, the other party to take the initiative and chat about their feelings and thoughts when the conflict occurred, as well as their own emotions, and seriously ask you how you feel, your feelings to express understanding, you may be the original internal suppression of the emotions, will be released. After such a face of conflict, each other's honest communication, the next time you have a conflict, will not choose to hide and tolerate, but to communicate with each other? Because you will feel each other's care in communication, and will not be afraid to make the relationship break up because of quarrels, will be naturally honest, naturally choose to communicate. In the long run, the atmosphere between you will be one of equality and sincerity, not suspicion and distrust. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16274
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is my boyfriend treating me so badly when he won't even go to work in order to cling to me?",
        "description": "It's been like this for the last couple years. At first the boyfriend who had a crush on me was known by him, maybe he didn't like me too much at that time, he was always deliberately teasing me, mocking me, all sorts of ways to make me pay attention to him. Later he felt that I was in love with him he became even more strange, saying coaxing words while tormenting people. Once I ignored him he got emotional and tortured people. Must I talk to him. He can't sleep at night and wants company. Has a bit of mild mania and talks non-stop all the time. His personality is extremely outgoing and warm to people. His mania is better when I talk to him. He'll calm down. He also has a bit of a voyeuristic streak. Likes to watch me on the monitor. It's gotten so bad now, he doesn't even go to work anymore to stick with me. He just stares at me all the time. He has to know what I'm doing.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, diagnosis of diseases, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello aca give you a warm hug at the beginning of the boyfriend always attracted their attention, do all kinds of things hope to get their attention, their own always pay attention to him, and then give him care, go along with him. Gradually, he hoped to get his own attention to a somewhat perverted point, and now his own boyfriend does not do anything, and even in the monitoring to see their own behavior. Early in the relationship, attention is not wrong, just to master the degree in the early stage of the relationship, each other want to get each other's attention, it is not wrong, in the beginning of the relationship, are to be with each other as much as possible, which are very normal, but such a time after all can not last a long time. After a long time, each other will get tired. It is important to master the balance of this. Relationships are not the whole of life Relationships are not the whole of life, we have other lives. Relationships are an essential part of life for all of us, indeed more important, but not so important that we don't work, after all, relationships are just one of the many parts of life, and the basis of a relationship is also to have a certain financial strength. Consider carefully and make the choice to fall in love not only simply like, if you want to last, but also fit the three views. Find a time to think carefully about whether you think you can accept your boyfriend monitoring you and whether you can accept him not going to work. Do you want two people to progress together and become more excellent, or are you willing to be mediocre and limited to a relationship. Think about these questions, I think you already have the answer within your heart. Lastly, I would like to share a quote, if a person has to sacrifice a lot for himself to be together at the end, I think such love is not suitable. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, feeling your confusion. I wonder what other feelings you have about yourself at the moment, aggravation, sadness, feeling that he doesn't trust you? Fear that his behavior is beyond your perception? Still caring about him, wanting to understand him and normalize your relationship? Do you still have feelings for your boyfriend? Do you still want to be together? The fact that you are able to come up for help is a brave decision to face it! So, think about it, what exactly are you hoping to resolve? Different stages, different goals, and very different directions for you to work on. I have a friend whose boyfriend is defensive of her, much like your situation. She didn't really understand it, and after a year of nagging pain, broke up! Then the aftermath was so bad that they got together again, and it still didn't work out. She said she never understood him, maybe he was just insecure, maybe his mistrust stemmed from not knowing her well enough, maybe she should have reached out to his mother to understand his family upbringing. She had loved him deeply, but failed to understand him, and all the communication was superficial, missing the time for both parties to grow and mend their relationship, and causing both parties to suffer, always regretting. In order to make a decision with no regrets, it is recommended that you, the brave one, first think about your feelings and clarify your inner goals. In this way, experienced mentors are more effective in giving help. There is a saying in psychology: the teacher will appear only when the student is ready! What do you think?",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The boyfriend in question is controlling to a sick degree. I'm afraid it's very difficult to leave him now, he has regarded you as his personal belongings, but any existence that defies him will end up stimulating the tyrannical part of his heart, and it is very likely that the fish will die. He's afraid that he had a sick mother who also used to control him in a high-pressure way while cajoling and pleasing him in every way, and the way he's treating you right now is just a repeat of what he went through in his childhood. The subject didn't even get to know his family properly, his character, he just got on his boat, it's hard to get off, he can quit without hesitation, then also has time to stare at you for the rest of his life. It's hard to change someone, much harder than changing yourself. If you don't want to leave him and you don't want to make a mess every day, it's better to put him at the center of everything, satisfy him, adore him, support him in any idea or decision, help him out of the shadow of his childhood, and maybe it will get better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It doesn't really matter how your boyfriend treats you, what matters is what your attitude is? Do you accept it or not, or do you want to change his attitude towards you? The truth is that you want to change his attitude towards you, otherwise you wouldn't have researched why he does what he does to you. You may need to be aware of yourself, why did you choose such a boyfriend and want to change his attitude towards you?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You've been able to put this together in an organized way, so I'm sure you've already thought about it and made some judgments about it, haven't you? Well, I'm pretty much in the same boat as your judgment. I don't think it matters why, it's what to do. What options do you see in front of you? What are the advantages and disadvantages? Think it through and discuss it with a trusted friend if necessary. And then just be determined to carry it out.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14840
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you determine if you love your partner when you meet your current one just after the last one?",
        "description": "I'm 25 and met my current boyfriend when my last relationship just ended. He pursued me after a clean breakup with his ex-girlfriend, booing me every day, and I thought he was pretty good, letting him deal with his relationship with his ex before talking about the two of us, which resulted in the two of us getting together. Since we both work out of town, he moved out on his own after breaking up with his ex. I was staying with a friend, and then my friend decided to go back to her hometown to develop and I moved in with him. Looking back now I feel very impulsive, and after almost two years together now, we fought a lot. He won't let me wear dresses, won't let me get a manicure, perm my hair, all kinds of control over me. Then we rent daily expenses has been AA, sometimes I let him help me buy a meal, he will let me give him a red envelope, quite stingy, but I always tell myself that he just do not have money. But all kinds of contradictions I really do not know whether to continue together?",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear partner, I see that you are a lot of unsure and torn within this relationship. When you are with your boyfriend, both of you are just finished with your last relationship, and you may be together after a short communication to understand each other. But the process of this relationship is to understand each other step by step, to see if it is suitable for the process, but also the process of bonding. The test of cohabitation] Later, we live together, in fact, is also a test for each other. In each other have not understood in-depth when cohabiting together, may find a lot of living habits, thinking on the inconsistency. Now, is it good or bad to discover this inconsistency? If you say it is a bad thing, you may doubt your choice even more because of the mismatch between the two parties. If you say it is a good thing, it actually gives each other a chance to find out where we can get along, further deepen our understanding, and slowly become compatible with each other, accepting the inconsistency or making some changes. [How can I confirm whether I like him or not? In the midst of many contradictions, perhaps you are also gradually becoming skeptical of your own choices. Love is a funny thing, and often we can only follow our own feelings. To confirm whether you like him or not, you can do so in many ways, I won't go into details here, I'll mention a few more specific points for you ~ \"When you are bored with someone, think about the fluttering you felt when you met him for the first time.\" \"Why was I with him in the first place, what attracted me to him?\" \"Does it feel different with him than it does with other people of the opposite sex?\" You can ask yourself the answers to these three questions to see what is really going on inside you. Finally, if you have not been feeling good about yourself in a relationship and have been feeling negative, you can actually cause yourself psychological stress. If you really can't regulate it, you may have to communicate more with the other person about what you think, so that the other person can see that we are with each other, and how we can work together to correct it, in order to go on better~ Relationships are a matter of two people, don't keep all the pressure and negative feelings to yourself, talk to him more and see how we can work together hand in hand to get out of the dilemma~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15112
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there a good way to help my 15 year old daughter, who is emotional?",
        "description": "My daughter is 15 years old and gets emotional too easily. For example, after seeing someone spitting on the road, she tends to spit for a long time when she gets home. Should there be a good way to help her?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Student Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, can feel the owner's daughter is a very sense of justice, but sometimes may be a little emotional, a kind of cynicism. This is a strong sense of justice and goodness, but long-term emotional agitation, irritability, anger, does affect the owner's daughter's mental health state, so still need to regulate it. The owner needs to cultivate his dialectical thinking, let him know that not everyone in this world is moral, not everyone is kind, not everyone is civilized. There is a good side to this society and at the same time there is a not so good side, we need to learn to accept the not so good side of this society. We know what is good and at the same time we can understand why these people are bad, and that's how we can keep a peaceful mind. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16326
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you feel about people who are not punctual when they agree on a time, but their buddies always don't show up?",
        "description": "I made an appointment with my buddy, but when it's time he never shows up and doesn't say hello, what should I do? Should I just point it out or give him another chance, it's been several times and it's so annoying.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Friends, Colleagues",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Punctuality is a very good quality. Being unpunctual and not saying hello in advance can cause problems for people around you, disrupt your schedule, and make them feel unappreciated. So what do you think of a friend who is unpunctual? I think it's better to analyze the situation rather than to dismiss the whole person because he or she is unpunctual, especially if he or she is a friend of ours. I have a very good friend who is also unpunctual, and he is basically half an hour late for appointments. I'll share some of my experiences with you: 1. It's his fault that he's not punctual. Besides being unpunctual, does he have any other places that are worthwhile for us to socialize with? For example, happy to help others, honest and true, etc.; 2. to each other to express your dissatisfaction with his unpunctuality and views, not necessarily very serious, you can also joke that I waited for you how long how long, waiting for my heart is broken and so on; 3. to see if he is late there is no regularity, and then you will be late to go out at this time, to avoid waiting for him for too long; 4. especially important point in time, we must emphasize that he can not be late to make him pay attention to! The most important point is to emphasize with him that he can't be late, so that he will pay attention to it, and remind him to go out earlier beforehand. I hope my answer can help you \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16735
       },
       {
        "question": "Husband cheated on me, no plans for divorce, does a loveless, sexless marriage need to continue?",
        "description": "My husband cheated on me and fell in love with another woman. When he was found out, he admitted that he had given his heart to someone else and that he was no longer in love with me, but he has no intention of getting a divorce. How can I continue this loveless and sexless marriage? Compromise for the sake of the children?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Ideas, Cheating, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ to the owner of a warm hug, very understanding of the owner's feelings, the other side does not intend to divorce, why is it, is afraid of shame on his own bad influence, or in the use of you to help him economically, to help him look after the children, or other reasons? So what is the owner's idea? If you don't consider other factors, what is the owner's inner truest idea? If the owner wants to divorce him, then don't aggravate yourself because of the child, because, the child grows in a family environment where the father is cheating, is also very unfavorable, and even for the future growth and development is not good. In this way, not only delayed the owner's own happiness, but also will cause a certain psychological shadow to the child, the future in the emotional road is likely to have problems. The child wants to have a happy home where the father loves the mother, the mother loves the father, and both the mother and father love themselves, not a home that pretends to be complete but is actually in tatters. Of course, the owner should still consider carefully from a variety of aspects in order to make the decision that is best for him/her, in addition to respecting his/her true inner thoughts. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2343
       },
       {
        "question": "Lots to do, can't prioritize, how to organize your time wisely?",
        "description": "Have a lot of things to do and can't prioritize how to organize them? Feeling intimidated",
        "keywords": "Behavior, delay",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, the owner has a lot of things to do, but always can not distinguish between priority, do not know which one to do first and which one to do later, and can not be reasonable arrangement of time. Reasonable organization of time, in fact, also need skills. But we have a lot of things need to do at the same time, we can put these things in accordance with the \"important and urgent\", \"important and not urgent\", \"urgent and not important\", \"not important and not urgent\", \"not important and not urgent\", \"not important and not urgent\". \"not important and not urgent\". The things we need to prioritize are those that are \"important and urgent\" and \"urgent and unimportant\", and those that are important and not urgent, and not urgent and unimportant can be pushed back a bit. We do things, there must be a clear distinction between priority ah, so that we can be able to arrange things, arrange time. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11966
       },
       {
        "question": "Junior high school student, my heart will hurt and I can't breathe, I'll burst into tears, I'm scared of myself.",
        "description": "I can't stand myself, I don't know what's wrong with me, I just have the urge to jump off a building, and then every time I feel sad my heart hurts and my hands keep shaking. I have to cry every day, and if I don't, my heart hurts. I feel weak and bad. Scared of making friends, everything has its own persona. I'm scared of myself now, can someone please tell me what's wrong with me",
        "keywords": "Mood, Depression",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, give you a warm hug(\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Through your description I understand: (1) the owner feels that his heart trips back when he is sad, and his hands shake (2) the owner feels that it is very difficult not to cry every day (3) the owner is afraid of dating Next is my analysis and suggestions, I hope to be able to help the owner: (1) first of all, crying is a way of catharsis, so the owner cries every day perhaps to catharsis of a certain kind of emotions The owner says that his heart hurts every time he is sad, is it because his heart is blocked and he feels stuffy? Suggest the owner can go to the hospital to check their physical condition, because sometimes this may be caused by physiological reasons. (2) The owner said he was afraid of making friends because he felt that he was not good enough, or other people are not good enough? You have to get in touch with people to know! And everyone is not perfect, so don't be afraid! (3) What does it mean that the owner of the building molds himself to feel that everything has its own persona? Is it a different attitude to everything or what? #World and I love you, good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20100
       },
       {
        "question": "22 year old boy, for the last year, hates his sister, why?",
        "description": "I hate my sister, I know it's bad, but I still hate him, why is that? I haven't had much interaction with my sister since I was a kid.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, upbringing",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Subject There should be a reason for liking someone and hating someone. If you don't know the reason yourself, you just don't realize it, it could be because of something deep inside. You said you hate your sister, you asked why, I think, we on the side, it is impossible to know the reason, only you can find the answer. Since I was a child, I didn't have much interaction with my sister, but it's only in the last year that I started to hate her, so it should be because of something special that happened a year ago. Perhaps, it's not necessarily something that your sister did, it's also possible that it's just that you associate your sister with certain people and things that you don't like and hate, thus migrating the feeling of hate to your sister. It's also possible that although you don't have much interaction with your sister, you had expectations of her inside, and the long-lasting disappointment built up and exploded in this year. ...... Of course, these are just speculations, what exactly is going on needs to be explored by you. If necessary, you can also go to see a psychological counselor, in the counselor's help to better explore their own hearts, a better understanding of their own emotions. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21358
       },
       {
        "question": "Sixth grader, disassociated, depressed and self-harming, might I go to another world?",
        "description": "I'm a sixth grader, probably because my parents are divorced, and I'm much more mature than other people. I like to read delayed novels, I and classmates to pass notes to talk about delayed by the teacher found out, she said I was too ridiculous, no innocence, should not read these things, this age should do what you do. I think I'm ridiculous too. I don't belong to this age at all. With my friends too, I can't get into it. Prolonged novels are the only thing holding me back right now, and without them I might as well not be around. I'm also crying all the time these days, and I have quite a few cuts on my left hand. If one day I finished the delayed reading, I may go, with these things, to another world, at ease on my dream no one disturbed \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002",
        "keywords": "Mood, Depression",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject \ufe0f hug you ~ because of family reasons, let you more mature than the same age of the children, in the reality of the push, you have to understand earlier, earlier to see and understand the cruel side of life.1, reading delayed novels is one of your hobby, although this kind of novels is not the mainstream of the current, but if in the case of no impact on the study and life, but just appropriate as entertainment or pastime, is not a big problem. In the eyes of the teacher, he understands that children in this age group may lack the ability to judge the content of these books, and are prone to some behavioral deviations or value deviations, so the teacher suggests that you do not touch the content.3. I think your fondness for delayed American novels is on the one hand that you find it novel and interesting, and on the other hand, it's just a carrier of spiritual support, and this kind of hobby can let you temporarily Get out of the state of life that you don't like very much.4. Different children at the same age have different wonderful things to do. It's not that you don't belong to this age, but that you haven't found a goal that makes you feel accomplished and meaningful yet. Hiding in a novel you can take a momentary breather, moving forward to see a bigger world. Put aside all the things that hurt you, you can take up a new hobby, make new friends, and find something more meaningful to work towards ~ good luck! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1155
       },
       {
        "question": "What if I hate my mother in particular, she always talks loudly and is irritable and swears?",
        "description": "She has always been that way, according to their own nature, I say nothing to my father and I do not listen, speak loudly, in the street what secrets to say in person do not give face, easy to anger, every day scolded me and my father, I hate her, and even do not want to care about her, produce this kind of emotion, I feel I'm very bad, but she is also sometimes very good, to give me love sex to eat meat, go out and also give me to buy me want to eat, but I can not stand every day of the crankiness, the Did not do anything wrong to scold me, what should I do ah how to do?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ first to give you a warm hug, I hope you can be a little happier, in fact, the subject encountered this kind of situation in life is not a minority, I hope that my sharing can bring a little help to the subject ah ~ I do not know if it has always been the case. --From the subject's description, I learned that \"she has always been like that\", may I ask whether the mother was always like that, or that she has been like that after experiencing some things? And is it that she can't listen to anyone. --As the saying goes, \"treat the symptoms\", you can try to figure out what caused your mom to follow her own nature and not listen to you and your dad. --If your mom was always like this, it may have something to do with your grandma and grandpa's teachings, maybe they were too strict, which led to the so-called \"what goes around comes around\", or too loose, which led to your mom's self-centeredness and her inability to listen to other people's opinions. --If the mother is like this because she has experienced something, she may have been stimulated and does not trust others, and only thinks she is right. Whatever the case, to solve it you need to find the cause before you can easily start. It's possible that mom isn't noticing the effects on you guys. --As the questioner said, mom sometimes treats you very well, cooks meat for you and buys you what you want to eat, in fact, mom still loves you, but she may not have noticed the impact that some of the usual emotions such as irritability have brought to you. -Another saying is that the worst temper is reserved for the closest people, precisely because of the good relationship, so there is no concern. The subject can try to plan a surprise with his dad and then find a suitable time to have a good chat with his mom. Try to change while learning to adapt. --From the subject's description, I feel the subject's pain, but change is a long-term process, which needs to find the reasons, think of the methods, then implement and insist, and then to the results, it really needs patience and perseverance. --So the subject may just have a little harder time, trying to change her mom while learning to adapt to the pace. If you really can't solve the problem, we suggest that the subject can seek advice from a professional counselor. The above is just a bit of personal sharing, just for reference, I hope the subject family harmony, happy ah ~ good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see the words, can very much appreciate the owner's mood, I can see that the owner is a warm hearted person, give the owner a warm hug. \ufe0f\"The same world, the same mom \"In fact, if you ask a lot of people who they hate the most in the family, most of the answers should be the mother, as if every mother has something in common - loud, scolding, grumpy. The same world with the same mom. First, analyze - she has always been that way, according to their own temperament, speak loudly, easy to anger - every mother with what they think is good at the time to us, but they do not know whether we need this good. The character of the mother, perhaps because of the environment in which she grew up, created such a character of the mother, according to their own nature, speak loudly, easy to anger, this is the mother has been accustomed to, already accustomed to it, perhaps she did not realize that there is something wrong. In my family is also the same, mother and father are completely different, all the nagging is mother, and father is always silent. My mother is very strong and I am also very irritable, so they are like \"sparks hitting the earth\" sparks, three days a small quarrel, five days a big quarrel. But both parents loved us. --She is sometimes very good, give me love to eat meat, go out to buy me what I want to eat - from this we can see that the mother is not only angry at you, she will be good to you also, know what you like to eat, go out to buy you what you want to eat, so Sometimes mothers are just personality. Second, a few small suggestions try to understand the mother, accept the mother's character of the mother's character, so that the mother is so, but know that the mother loves you, so try to understand the mother it, if the mother is always at home tantrums, then you and the father a little bit away, when the mother does not have a tantrum of the person, then naturally will not be issued for how long the tantrums. Communicate with your mother in the mother is more happy, calmly communicate with your mother to communicate, once can not be many times, so that your mother knows what you think. Change a kind of communication at that time. Do not say mother how I, but for the mother's sake, the mother said, \"Mom do not be angry, angry more than the body is not good, easy to panic, unstable blood pressure, tachycardia ......\" relax, accompany the mother, teach her some of her interest in things have time to spend more time with the mother, teach some of the mother's interest in things, let the mother know that the mother is a little bit more. Teach your mother some things that interest her, so that she has something she can do, dancing ah, shopping ah ...... This will not only allow your mother to find her goal, there are things to do, but also allow her to relax and open her mind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Want to change a person is indeed a little difficult, but we can subconsciously influence her.1. This life where all good, is bad in a mouth. I believe that many people will have such a family member or friend around, in fact, her heart is not bad, just in the matter of dealing with the more straight, what is unpleasant will be directly out, little regard for the feelings of others, although willing to become friends with each other, but in some special circumstances but feel the need to stay away from. In her mood to calm down, sometimes talk to her will also recognize their own problems, but meet things when they are back to the original, resulting in the people around her is both love and hate, want to help her, she is not willing to accept and change, and even sometimes will blame us for no reason, so we need to learn to reconcile with their own, slowly learn to guide each other, of course, this process will be very long, need to be adjusted to us slowly! 2. Learn to enlighten yourself and learn to guide each other. My mother and the subject's mother, often chatter a never-ending, there are times when I am particularly tired of her annoying, and even sometimes escape and her communication, but with the growth of age, the mother has begun to realize their own problems, there are times when verbal communication problems, I will tell the mother we can not change to text communication or voice sent, after sending a review to see what they have to say inappropriate places. After sending it, you can review it to see what you have said inappropriately, and you can also play back your own voice to hear your own tone of voice, which may have a different feeling. Sometimes we have to learn to selectively ignore, for some of the mother's words we need to east ear into the west ear out, as if we do not like the mother straight to the same, we can also use a roundabout way, sometimes you can obey her meaning, and then look for an opportunity to tell her that there are other solutions, and slowly guide her to find out some of their own shortcomings. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah, snuggle, feel very nasty, and can understand the feeling of being scolded when you have not made a mistake, here to give the subject a warm hug, I hope my advice can help you. \"Mother is short-tempered, by nature, does not care about the occasion, and does not listen to persuasion\" There are many reasons for short-temperedness, as a new mom I have also faced this aspect of the problem, most of the cause of this situation is due to stress, but also partly from the family of origin. Excessive pressure will make people's emotions irritable, become easily angry, can not control their own emotions; and the impact of the family of origin, but also for her and her family to get along, can not find the right way, can only rely on what has been seen, or their own way of figuring out, but this way is not necessarily correct. In a way it can also hurt others, although she may not realize it. The subject also said that there are times when your mother is nice to you, and remembers what you love to eat, and also buys you favorite snacks. This suggests that the mother's heart isn't necessarily wanting to go scold you and go over nothing, it's more a matter of not knowing how to deal with her own agitation and ways to be friendly with you. I have a few tips to try and see. Accompany your mother to go out for a walk, take a break Mother if you are a housewife, a long time at home alone, will cause a sense of depression, will feel that they are very non-existent, if when you go home, and do not talk to her chat and talk, she will feel that she is not very bad, will be like a child tantrums. Therefore, there are breaks, you can accompany your mother to go out for a walk, take her to try some new things, you can relieve the pressure in your heart, so that her mood will not be so tight, and slowly become much more kind.2. Find something for your mother to do to help her rediscover the goal of life father has a job, the subject also has their own goals, if the mother often find fault, it is possible that the too idle. I have been sitting at home for more than six months, a person in addition to the baby, is the housework, the empty time will be nonsense, that period of time will often quarrel. This is all caused by being idle for too long. You can take your mother to square dancing, or enroll in a senior class or something like that, to help her find her purpose again and put her focus back on herself. Let her know that life is not just for you and your father, you also need to live for yourself.3. More chat with her, say some interesting things you encountered Nowadays, cell phones are very advanced, less and less communication with family members, the mother's irritability may also come from: loneliness. Nothing more with her, chat, do housework, walk, even if it is some boring jokes, the mother will be very happy. At the same time, you can also at the right time, tell her that there are parts of the previous practice, you do not like very much, but must not be too hard tone, then it will become a quarrel. You can politely, or jokingly put forward, so that she does have a heart, and then in life, slowly help her to change, it takes time. I hope you and your mother can make up, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, I can understand how you feel ~ because my dad is similar to the mom you are talking about. Let me tell you about my father, he also likes to scold people, see the family who do not like to scold who, a day without scolding people, it is hard to feel like. Even if we didn't do anything wrong, he wouldn't let it go. The good thing about him is that he gives a lot to his family, he is especially attentive to the family's affairs, and he remembers what each of us likes to eat. He loved his family more than himself. But all this love comes with his bad temper, which is unbearable. I have tried to talk to him about his cursing, but he says he can't control himself when he gets emotional, and he knows it's wrong. Now whenever he wants to lose his temper, we remind him, and slowly he learns to restrain himself and curses less and less. Sometimes when the reminders don't work, it's just a matter of using the fast disappearance method and not hanging around in front of him, so he can't do anything about it. \ufe0f The subject's mom is straight talking and should be a typical knife to the heart. Since mom has always been this way, try to accept her as such. Don't pay too much attention to what she says, you can even go in one ear and out the other and you won't be so upset. You can also find a little hobby for him to distract her. Have something to do all the time and you won't have time to curse. Remember mom is always mom, no matter what she is like. Think about how good she is and you'll actually realize she's not that bad. A little bit of advice, hope it helps ~ good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject!    How can mom correct her deficiencies? Help mom to recognize her deficiencies # Because of her character or family reasons mom may not recognize her deficiencies, to help mom change her deficiencies, first let her recognize her deficiencies first. If your mother's tantrums delay things or make the neighbors laugh, you can talk to her about the effects of her tantrums when she's calm and let her know the consequences of her tantrums. Help your mother to correct her mistakes. After your mother realizes her mistakes, you can read some books with her or find some examples from the neighbors so that she can change slowly. Accepting and accompanying mom # This habit has been developed and can not be changed overnight, in the mom a little bit of progress or encounter trouble when more to give mom estimates and accompaniment. I'm sure I'll try to correct it with your company. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! I can see that you are feeling very sad because of your mother, hugs to you and hopefully a little warmth. The subject's mother personality is relatively violent, often loud, do not care about you and your father's feelings, you want to ignore her, but also read her sometimes good for you, so you are very torn. I think from the following points to analyze it: 1, the subject of the mother's violent character is natural character, or because of what things have become so? If it is the natural character, then you can communicate with your mother, let her stop hurting you and your father, the family should get along peacefully, not by their own nature, you have to explain to her that you have grown up, I hope that she can respect you, but also be sure to tell her that you love her, and it is precisely because of love for her that you will say these things to her, because you want to become close to her relationship. If your mother is like this because of something that happened to her, then it's time to analyze the problem. To see if she was hurt in any way, either physically or psychologically, you can be honest with her as an adult and encourage her to talk about the difficulties in her heart and see how we can work together to solve the problem.2. The subject wants to leave his mother alone because of her violent personality, but he thinks that she is still good to you once in a while. In fact, the subject is very much in love with her mother, just think she treats you like this to make you feel bad, if you really don't care about her, you will also feel bad in the future ah! So communicate with your mother, you have to be a mature adult, show her your determination, she will understand your good intentions. Go for it! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner: With a mother of such character at home, the atmosphere of the family will always seem depressing and tense, right? I also note the owner's bravery in expressing her distress and seeking help from outside, which can certainly help the owner to recognize her mother better and better understand why she is like this? Now I'll share my observations, which may give the owner a richer perspective on possible problems.1. Guard your own state of mindIn family life, your mother's anger and irritability will invariably be projected onto us. The owner can carefully perceive that in life his mood was good, but when he hears his mother's complaints and feels his mother's irritability, then his mood will become very bad all of a sudden. This is because the mother projects her emotions to us and we identify with this projection. This time our state of mind is affected. Even the mother's emotions activate our own repressed emotions and thus our own emotions are greater. So at this time we have to learn to guard our state of mind. To become aware of our own emotions, whether they are influenced by our mother. And if it is can be through and their own internal dialog, so that they calm their own emotions, not the mother's influence. 2, respect for their own feelings have observed the owner of the description, especially hate mother. Then please respect this feeling of your own, so that this feeling can be reasonably expressed. What we can find is that when you hate a person, you look at her will be very annoying, can not be properly quiet to listen, but also can not communicate properly. So learn to express this feeling of yours in a reasonable way. Emotions can't come out, and reason can't come out. Then what are the appropriate expression? You can set a diary, find a place where no one to talk about it, you can use your own favorite way, but in reality and did not hurt ta people's way to express. When you express hate, then it's not far from love, and your rationality will run out and be able to communicate better with your mom. And if there is really no way to calm down, then if the conditions allow can also be appropriate and mother separation, you can rent their own room. Leaving is not that we don't love our mothers anymore, but just that they can put us in a bad mood. It is also because of leaving, there will be a new perspective to look at their own relationship with their mother. 3, reduce the expectations of the mother, accept her as she is now our pain is often want to ideal mother, and do not want the reality of the mother. And because of this we have a lot of expectations of our mothers. But these expectations of the mother does not want, so when we look forward to the higher time, their own disappointment may also be more. So what we need to learn is to accept our mothers as they are in reality. Only with acceptance can we understand our mothers better. For example, if you accept that your mother can't hide her secrets, then you can pay attention to your words and actions when there are a lot of people, not to stimulate her emotions, and then communicate with her at the right time. This may be the relationship between you will have more flexibility. 4, communication, more expression of feelings who do not want to be changed, a family is hidden in the power game. So pay attention to the boundaries when communicating. Mother is not himself, she may not understand your thoughts, and you can not complete empathy to the mother's thoughts. So express your feelings + requests during communication. Use a relaxed tone as much as possible. There is such a communication case, a husband is very hard to do housework, but his wife always do not praise him, and he wants his wife's praise, so he said to his wife, \"Honey, if you do not praise me, husband, I'm really dying.\" So the wife praised him a lot. Say how you feel, this will let your mother know how she feels when she is that way, and how it makes you feel, and may make her realize that her way is hurtful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, guess you have been suffering for a long time because of the way your mother acts? When dealing with family relationships, the counseling perspective looks at the family system as a whole. On the surface it appears to be a problem with the mother's personality, but if you look at the family relationships in detail, it's still hard to come to a simple conclusion all at once. Family relationships in general need to be dealt with by finding out where the drive to dance with each other comes from. It's like finding the first push plate where the dominoes fall. There are a few questions that can help you re-examine your current family relationships: 1. Family members don't know if you just get along as a family of three, if you live with the elderly, or if you need to be very closely connected. General family relationships get along like the annual rings of a tree, the most central is the husband and wife relationship, followed by children, followed by grandparents, and then outward are relatives, friends and so on. Many families in China will put their children first, avoiding the presentation of the couple's problems by focusing on the children. The most typical thing is that they can't feel the love and care from their husband/wife, and turn to put all the love on the children, replacing the need for the other half with the children. This is the cause of many family relationship problems. As a child, because of the disharmony in the parents' relationship, the child is passively involved in the conflict between the husband and wife and is forced to take sides, which makes the child suffer a lot, but the child unconsciously accepts this \"task\" so that the family can be maintained. If the grandparents get involved at this point, the situation will become even more entangled. The simplest way to fix the situation is to rationalize the relationship hierarchy, and hand the parents' problems back to them, without getting involved. (If you are unable to achieve this on your own for the time being, you can seek the help of a counselor.) 2. How should I face the ups and downs of my mother's emotions? I wonder how old you are now? If you have the financial ability to do so yourself, you can work with a counselor to learn how to distinguish between emotions that are your mother's own and those that she has given you and that you have unconsciously accepted but are not yours. This ability needs to be trained, but also to be able to let you in the mother in this violent way to express her pain, you in addition to escape, but also in the protection of their own at the same time, do a child can do things. 3, the need for support resources Although do not know your exact age, but no matter what age, the child will be more and more in need of friends, this is a necessary part of the development of every child, slowly in addition to the family, the need to There are social roles that come up. You have your own friends, and you can also have good friends to talk to when you can't resolve a family conflict, to give yourself a temporary respite, and friends who will bring a different perspective to the table, allowing you to step outside of the problem and take a better look at what's happening in the family when you're most torn up about it. Do you have any such mojo friends? If so, that's especially good. If not for a while, start finding such a friend. Of course, it is possible to gain such an ability by exploring it with a counselor. Family conflict is a very bad thing for anyone to deal with because of the too strong feelings present in the relationship, but it's always possible to find the threads in the mess to straighten it out da! \ufe0f\ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14979
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I am so sociopathic that I am so nervous about talking to strangers that I am shaking and incoherent?",
        "description": "I've been like this for as long as I can remember. When I go out to buy clothes, I don't dare to speak loudly to the salesperson so they can't hear me, and my mom will scold me. But I can't get rid of it. I get nervous when I see strangers, especially if I'm talking to them, and it's worse than death. I now go to college the situation has not changed a little, tonight on a whim to take the part-time job of handing out flyers, to one by one to knock on the door of the dormitory of the sister stuffed flyers scanning code to pull people, every time I open the door before the organization of the language before the door to see the sister waiting for me at that moment all collapsed, and even in the knocking on the first door when I said the words can not even understand myself. I pretend to be very optimistic and big-headed, but in reality I'm afraid to speak, and this kind of speech interview is killing me. I know this isn't still supposed to change, and I do everything I can to make contact with people, but I simply don't know how to open my mouth, I don't know what to say, and even when I organize my words I tremble with fear.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Communication, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, I think first of all you can develop confidence. Not being able to take the initiative to talk to others or speak up may be a sign of lack of self-confidence. In normal times, perhaps you can take the initiative to communicate with classmates or friends, express their inner thoughts, this process can also exercise or develop your communication skills. Maybe you can also take the initiative to ask your teachers more questions or participate in more school activities to develop your communication skills in all aspects of socialization. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9949
       },
       {
        "question": "Anything must be done to the extreme. How do you break perfectionism?",
        "description": "Either you do everything or you don't do it, or you must do it to the extreme, and your body is tired and your mind is tired. How to break it?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello, hug you ah ~ read your description, you are a perfectionist, not accustomed to casually cope with their own tasks, perhaps this kind of thinking bothers you, but still can understand this kind of thinking. Perfectionists will do what they should do to the extreme, this way of doing things has good and bad, for the perfectionists themselves, this is a very draining thing, will have a great impact on life, after all, not everything is under control. It is recommended that you try to plan, each task is visual, set a time for yourself to implement the task, and the visibility of the task will always remind you of the urgent tasks that should be done first. The most important point is not to assign yourself too heavy people, otherwise it is easy to develop the emotion of giving up.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1244
       },
       {
        "question": "Uncertainty in counseling for a 23 year old male with bipolar disorder that upsets me?",
        "description": "Was severely bipolar a year ago and attempted suicide. Recuperated at home, stayed on medication, stayed in counseling, and is now improving to mild. During this period, I have asked the counselor many times how the counseling is going. She was all perfunctory with vague words. According to my observation, senior counselors, due to the study of a large number of psychological knowledge, the calmness of the heart is very different from ordinary people. The outward manifestation is that the face is calm and approachable. Then my counselor said a certain sentence that changed my mind, \"Why don't you imagine me in the role of a female corrupt official\". Yeah, I had no idea what we were doing during the heart counseling process and had to deliver an expensive fee. She is like a vampire, sucking the blood of her visitors to nourish herself. Perhaps, her calm and somewhat beautiful looking face was not obtained at all by the changes in her body and mind after absorbing a lot of psychological knowledge. It relied on the results of expensive skin care maintenance. It was a strange idea that I couldn't disprove or verify the truth of. It confused and angered me, and late at night for the last few days, I sat paralyzed on the couch, dreading going to bed. How do I look at something like this from any other perspective? And how many possibilities are there?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can see from your confusion that you value counseling, and it is because you care that you think, and it is because you think that you are confused. I would like to give you some advice from the perspective of the counseling process. You mentioned that you asked the counselor many times how the counseling process was going, and the counselor was vague and perfunctory. This means that in this part of your interaction with the counselor, you felt that the counselor did not fully meet your expectations. So, in the face of this situation, how would you react? Do you keep this dissatisfaction to yourself and act as if you have never been dissatisfied? Do you tell the counselor directly that you are still very confused and ask the counselor to answer your question again? Do you not tell the counselor that you are confused, but directly vent your dissatisfaction or even anger to the counselor? The counselor said, \"Why don't you imagine me as a female corrupt official? This makes you wonder whether the counselor is stable in herself, or whether she is stabilized by feeding on your energy. This confusion of yours is so great that it not only shakes your trust in this counselor, but also confuses you about counselors as a group. So, will you discuss with the counselor the train of thought that this statement from the counselor renders in your mind? Or, do you not tell the counselor your interpretation of Ta's sentence, nor do you seek to verify why Ta would say such a sentence in order to verify that your interpretation is correct? Trust and sincerity on both sides are very important in the counseling process. If you are confused, it is advisable not to talk directly with the counselor during the counseling time. This will bring about a disturbance in the counseling relationship, and the disturbance will precisely bring about the progress of the counseling effect.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: a year ago with severe bipolar disorder, I can feel that you have a lot of difficulties, perhaps you also trusted your counselor very much at first, after a year of counseling you seem to have become entangled with the counselor, and have a lot of dissatisfaction with her. But judging from the fact that your state has changed for the better, the TA seems to have played some role, doesn't it? But you are still very angry, but also [can not overturn their own ideas]. Analyze and understand the problem: 1. A year ago was a severe bipolar patient who attempted suicide. Recuperated at home, insisted on taking medication, insisted on psychological counseling, and now the condition has improved to mild. During this period, you have asked the counselor many times how the counseling is going. She has been perfunctory with vague words. (A year's time from severe to mild, which is not bad a transformation Oh, of course, this is also related to your positive cooperation. Perhaps your inquiry to the counselor, just as a visitor to the real situation of their own understanding, this is a very normal thing, and you also have the right. Maybe the counselor has ta considerations, maybe he is afraid that you will think too much and so on. Because do not say or not clearly say is the counselor's protection, afraid of visitors on this winding unclear, but I personally believe that a firm and truthful response is also very important, the counselor sometimes need to bear a little. Otherwise, the visitor will be \"afraid\", and it will affect the effect of counseling.) 2, according to your observation, senior counselors, due to the study of a large number of psychological knowledge, the mind and ordinary people are very different. The outward appearance is that the face is calm and approachable. Then your counselor said a certain sentence that changed your mind, \"Why don't you imagine me in the role of a female corrupt official.\" Yeah, in the process of heart counseling, you have no idea what we are doing and have to deliver expensive fees. She is like a vampire, sucking the blood of the visitors to nourish herself. (Naturally, there are many types of counselors, but I think that if you pay an expensive fee, then this counselor will not be too bad by definition, and the least part of the counseling ethics will be followed. If the cost of counseling is really too right, you can also get a different counselor, there are still a lot of [more cost-effective] counselors out there that are no worse than the expensive ones, but the cost is kinda low. What I'm curious about is, have you talked to each other about your aforementioned opinion of her? If that's really how you interpret her in your heart, either you need to tell her truthfully and see how she interprets it? Either that or you need to find a counselor who is a better fit for you. (Otherwise holding a grudge in your hearts will have an impact on your healing.) 3. Perhaps, her calm and somewhat beautiful looking face was not obtained by absorbing a lot of psychological knowledge and having her body and mind changed at all. It relies on the results of expensive skin care maintenance. (I have to say, you still have a rich imagination. Expensive skin care products even if effective is to change a person's appearance, but there is no way to change a person's mind, you may have an opinion of her, if you can openly and honestly put forward, I believe that she will reflect on it, if she did not reflect on it, you need to look for a more suitable for your counselor.) 4, This strange idea that you can't disprove or validate as true. It has left you confused and angry, and late at night for the last few days you've been sitting paralyzed on the couch, dreading going to bed. How do you look at something like this from other perspectives? And how many possibilities are there? (Fear not, it's not your fault to have strange thoughts, but to keep it bottled up in your psyche that's too much to bear, I encourage you to express it, if it was my visitor who told me this, I would tell him that I'm not like this, and I would go and help him to analyze what's the reason behind it, and I wouldn't blame you for it. I will analyze the reason behind this and will not blame you. If I feel your anxiety, I will analyze the reason why you are so afraid of going to bed with you. What is the connection between this and the counselor's \"skin painting\"? There are so many things to analyze, so be bold and talk to your counselor. If she doesn't accept you, I'll help you). Conclusion: I wish you all the happiness in the world! I wish you a good life soon without the help of counseling! If you're confused, write to me privately!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dearfriend: Hi, seeing as you have bipolar disorder, it's really not easy to get treatment for it. However, your quest to find a definitive answer to your massive self-fantasies within it to make you feel safe is an approach or direction that will not serve you well. Why? Uncertainty, not just experienced in, well, this one thing, but the whole of life is uncertainty. To go to the heart and keep speculating and envisioning because of uncertainty goes against the truth and gets further and further away from the truth. The reason why people suffer is that they are resisting the truth. Accepting reality means recognizing and allowing uncertainty, and the only way to live in uncertainty is to live in the present. Let go of the constant speculation. To speculate will only bring more uncertainty, because the only certainty is \"the truth\". Making up more stories will only make you create more panic. Secondly, it is not difficult to accept uncertainty and walk into it. In the uncertainty of the periphery is always chaotic, uneasy, only its center is the most calm and let a person feel peaceful. Therefore, accept it without running away from it. [Third] Finding space in the center Going to this center of uncertainty, you will find space inside, inside that allows you to pause and stay. Not to defensively continue to make up stories in order to escape the uncertainty. This space that allows you to have a place to rest. [Fourth] Live in the present moment don't cling to the past or look for answers in preconceived notions. This present moment is the most practical and powerful. Eat what you need to eat, sleep when you need to sleep, and if you are idle, don't think about anything, just observe your breath in the present moment and let it bring you back to the present moment. [Fifth] let go of the role of the set \"general counselor teacher, will be calm and kind face, what so on\" This is the role of the community generally on the role of the counselor, if beyond the role of the set characteristics, to be questioned, this is just a thinking on the limitations. Not everyone's personality is the same in the world, and so is the counselor's, each one is unique. [Sixth] to treat with heart prevail treatment of mental illness is not overnight can be cured, she said to you today, today you failed to digest, but it does not mean that there is no healing effect on you. Whether or not she treats you with her heart is the key. If you feel that the healing progress is slow, you can talk to her about it; direct, effective communication beats all guesswork. Sometimes it's important to give yourself room to pause, not to guess, but to stop using guesswork to be overly defensive. Facing the real feelings inside, you will find a new exact and effective solution. Over-imagining inside will only lead you to more and more twists and turns. Bestwishes!Yourfriend:Audrey.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner, first of all it's good to know that you've gotten better over the past year, it shows that you've done a lot of hard work on your own and that your counseling should have helped. You mention in the middle of your question that you asked about the progress of counseling and \"she was all perfunctory with vague words\", I wonder if you have told your counselor about this feeling yet, if not, try telling her directly how you feel this way. Also, you mentioned that one of her comments gave you a new perspective on your counselor and the counseling process. Is it possible that you associated that comment with other feelings in particular? Also you said \"she is like a vampire, sucking the blood of her visitors to nourish herself\" this is your imagination. Importantly, what is the reason for this imagination? Could it be because you are not satisfied with the results of the counseling, or the schedule? Suggest that you may want to talk to your counselor about your inner expectations about the goals of the counseling, and what you are dissatisfied with. Listen to how she gives you feedback. I can understand that you are having a very hard time because of these confusing emotions that are affecting your sleep. If you feel like you can't think clearly you can let it go for a while, be careful to seek clarification and try not to make too many associations. In the interview with the counselor, you can tell her all these thoughts and imaginations of yours and trust each other so that the counselor can help you better and faster.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. It seems that you have experienced a sense of \"distrust\" with the other counselor in your current counseling activities. Assuming that there is no doubt about the other counselor's qualifications, perhaps this counseling relationship is not achieving the desired results, which has led to the above question. Returning to the previous \"assumption\", since I do not know the counselor's qualifications, I can't really offer any advice in this regard. I can only say that in the current situation, it might be better to change your inner doubt about the effectiveness of counseling from a mere \"inner doubt\" to a \"question on the table\". Simply put, in the first person: I think I do not approve of the current consultation effect, to help me not achieve the expected results, I want to discuss with you (counselor) the next step in the progress of the problem or solution. I hope my answer can help you, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3247
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the best format for couples, who want to do emotional counseling together?",
        "description": "I female, with my object together for more than a year, three months ago my ex (never contact after the breakup), through the jitterbug search in my incumbent sent our video under the like, the incumbent is engaged in technology, so keenly aware of the likes of who was up, but also found out a lot of information about him, including recent trips, told me, I would have been quite angry in the process of chatting I said some of the details of the ex with, mainly to express that I had no luck with him at that time. I was mainly trying to convey that I was having a hard time with him at that time, and that I was fine with the current guy. The current one understands that I am nostalgic for the past, not forgetting the old feelings. So the conflict is very big, often can not sleep at night, want to do emotional counseling, two people together, I want to consult a professional personnel, the best use of what form of counseling, is to go to the hospital psychology department or what consulting room?",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Security, Arguments, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I am engaged in the work of partnership therapy, and I would like to recommend you a more appropriate treatment for partnership problems. EFT (EmotionallyFocusedTherapy) is a psychotherapeutic technique founded by Canadian psychologist Sue Johnson, which is specifically designed to improve the relationship between the partner and the parent-child relationship. EFT is suitable for couples or partners from different cultural or social backgrounds usually after 8-20 counseling sessions, a recovery rate of 70%-73% can be seen, and the degree of improvement reaches 90%. EFT adopts the form of joint counseling with partners, and each counseling session lasts for an hour and a half, which is designed to face each other's problems together, presenting the interaction patterns of the two people directly, and helping one person to experience the emotional reactions of the other in depth, and guiding them to make positive responses to their own emotions. The content of EFT is actually very simple, it doesn't need to deal with how your partner can improve his or her argumentative skills, or analyze your childhood experiences, or even go to great lengths to create a romantic relationship; you just need to clarify and acknowledge that you and your partner are emotionally attached and dependent on each other, just as a child is dependent on his or her parents for comfort and protection. Although adults' emotional attachments are more reciprocal and less focused on physical touch than children's, the essence of their emotional connection is the same, and EFT focuses on creating and strengthening that connection by identifying and transforming those key moments that \"facilitate adult love relationships\" in order to cultivate openness, understanding and understanding of each other. EFT focuses on creating and strengthening the emotional connection between partners in order to cultivate a relationship that is open, understanding and responsive to each other. Your current problem with your boyfriend is that you are stuck in a negative pattern of interaction, which leads to emotional disconnection, so EFT is an appropriate modality to consider for your relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi: Well, understood. First look at what the specific problem is? (The problem behind the above narrative is said to be critical) Secondly, determine whether the two are willing to counsel at the same time? (The effect is better.) The final form: the effect of face-to-face counseling will be relatively good, telephone or video counseling (first alone, and then together; or start together) Psychological departments in hospitals, generally psychiatric, and your problem only belongs to the psychological aspects of the dredging. Analyze and understand the problem: 1, with your object together for more than a year, three months ago your predecessor (never contacted after the breakup), through the jitterbug search in your incumbent sent under your video liked, the incumbent is engaged in the technology, so keenly aware of who liked who, but also found a lot of information about him, including recent trips to talk to you, (Yes, now the social software is too convenient, want to completely disconnect with a person) contact is pretty hard. Your boyfriend found out about his ex by virtue of his current sensitive perception, but he does have some [emotional allergies], and a like doesn't tell you much. Some things the more you dig, the more information, then naturally there will be a shadow of the past, here you can see your current boyfriend (sensitive, suspicious)) 2, you would have been quite angry, in the process of chatting you said some of the details of the former together, mainly to express your time with him is very bad, and with the current together with the very good. The current person understands that you are nostalgic for the past, and old feelings are not forgotten. (In fact, the reason why you, now choose to talk to the incumbent instead of the ex, is the best [proof]. However, there are some things that the more you talk about them, the more the other person thinks that you still remember so many details with your ex, and he will be jealous and jealous. (That is to say, he was not able to participate in your life at that time, so he will be jealous. A male's brain circuit, a jealous in the male's brain circuit, also [like a child's capriciousness], if he himself in other aspects of the similar more serious, it shows that it is the character of the problem.) 3, so there is a great deal of conflict, often can not sleep at night, want to do emotional counseling, two people together, you want to consult with professional personnel, the best use of what form of counseling, is to go to the hospital psychiatric department or what consulting room? (Well, it would have been a very small thing, but behind the big contradiction triggered as a child, the actual person [the latent of the real problem], outburst is also a good thing, at least a kind of release. As mentioned above, hospitals are basically psychiatric departments, not quite suitable for psychological healing you can choose face-to-face counseling or online counseling (phone + video) form.) In terms of the problem itself it's not big, but if you find personalized problems from it, it's something that takes a bit of time to deal with. (Characterization) Conclusion: I wish you all the happiness in the world! May you trust each other and get better and better! If you are confused, write privately!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13061
       },
       {
        "question": "Been together for over 6 years and have been breaking up and calming down for 2 months, what next?",
        "description": "My boyfriend and I were together for over 6 years and we broke up about 2 months ago. We've been through a lot together over the years, with sweet, sweet memories and of course hurting each other. We actually had a pretty good relationship for 6 years, but the frequent fights in the days right before the breakup ended up causing my boyfriend to want to run away from that state. He said he came back from work and I had to fight with him and even made our respective parents worry over our fights, he said why bother? He said now at least he doesn't have to live a life of bickering and obeying every day, and he doesn't have both parents worrying over our relationship fights, and everyone seems to be more relaxed, so he doesn't want to talk to me yet. He's afraid I'll take him back to that tight and depressing life again. I've had him calm down for over 2 months now, do I have to keep letting him calm down? Or what should I do about it? I have reflected a lot in these two months, but the relationship is not something that I alone can change. It takes two people to work on a relationship. Please give me some advice, thank you.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Lost Love, Getting Your Ex Back, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You have been together for more than 6 years, there is a foundation of affection. Both parents also accept it and worry about your quarrels, it is reasonable to enter into marriage is also a matter of course, I do not know why you have not married? He thinks it's good to separate, at least he doesn't have to live a life of bickering and obeying every day. He is afraid that you will take him back to that tight and depressing life. I don't understand why the subject has to fight every day to make him obey? We all know the saying: \"Where there is oppression, there is resistance\", why do you forget it when it comes to yourself? The subject did not explicitly say why is all kinds of pain, have to fight to solve the problem, or to defend the sovereignty (or to show their importance)? What are the reasons for the frequent fights lately? Why do you see him in a bad light? Are you comparing him to other men, or comparing your current situation to other women, and coming to the conclusion that you are not happy, and therefore \"the storm comes harder\" to him? The subject said: \"But feelings are not something I can change alone. It takes two people to make an effort,\" but what I see is that the subject wants to change him to make himself happy. What efforts have you made to make him happy? Even he clearly said that he does not like the noise and obey the tight and depressing life, the subject why turn a blind eye to it? Not everyone likes to tighten their own strings, in order to pursue the so-called good, excellence and at the same time give themselves super high pressure, and even overdraft their own way of life. It is important to see his needs, respect him, and not judge (not your ideas are necessarily right or good to run a good intimate relationship). Ms. Cong said: \"The degree of tolerance one has for differences is one of the signs of one's maturity. And the insistence on satisfying oneself by changing another person is a sign of a generalized sense of infantile omnipotent narcissism.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13680
       },
       {
        "question": "Middle school rebellion, temper tantrums, mental conflicts, how to control emotions?",
        "description": "Middle school rebellion, psychological conflicts, temper tantrums, ego, can't control emotions.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~Hugs to the owner. The situation that the owner is talking about is something that everyone goes through in middle school. We will all go through puberty, because after this stage, we will become more mature and stable. During puberty, we undergo great changes, both physically and psychologically, and are gradually maturing. We may feel that what our parents say is not necessarily right, and we may hear them say a certain sentence and always want to refute what they say. There may be times when our hearts do not say how much we want to target them, but just want to sing with them, as if only so our hearts will be more comfortable. In fact, only through this period, it will become very good later. In this time period, we have to start learning to control our emotions, such as those hurtful words to the mouth when we have to calm down and think about the consequences. In normal times, we can also relieve ourselves of such unstable emotions through some exercise. You can also listen to music and sing to relax in your spare time.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 6,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 6,
            "end": 68,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 68,
            "end": 156,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 156,
            "end": 234,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 234,
            "end": 342,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8496
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it that once you're in a relationship, within a few days you're suddenly irritable and want to break up?",
        "description": "To determine the relationship before a good, a few days into the relationship began to inexplicably irritable, do not want to return each other's messages, especially depressing uncomfortable, simply can not pampered to say sweet words, from the heart of the uncomfortable, there is said to be avoidance attachment personality",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, allow me to start with the impression you gave me:* You didn't say the age of your gender, so I'm guessing you're a young woman. *You seem to have gone through several relationships, but your experiences in them have not been very pleasant overall. *After each relationship was finalized you began to feel irritated, depressed, and distanced from the other person. *In your imagination you should be pampering and saying sweet things to each other, but you can't seem to do that. *You've tried to figure out what these are because of. You've also done some studying on your own and have learned that there is a category of personality traits that fits your own experience. Allow me to share my thoughts next:* I am guessing that you are a young woman because you say that you don't pamper yourself or say sweet things after you start a relationship. I see shades of stereotyping in this description, and in your case it is a gender stereotype. *People tend to think that women should \"play\" the role of the \"birdie\" in a relationship, and that they should be able to be pampered and show weakness. This stereotype frames people's attitudes toward relationships and the people in them. *Whenever there is an \"out of the ordinary\" attitude or behavior, people will regard it as \"deviant\". *There are stereotypes about women in general, and there are also stereotypes about the basic interpersonal patterns in relationships, such as how lovers should be close and intimate, and so on. *Maybe the interaction patterns you're used to in a relationship do deviate from this stereotypical norm in some ways that you didn't notice at first, and so that triggered your confusion and disorientation. *But stereotyping deviant behavioral tendencies with another label is itself a process of establishing a new \"normal,\" as in the growing trend of avoidant attachment on the Internet, which has become a form of self-aggrandizement in today's context of increasing individualism. * The complexity and changing nature of people can hardly be fully summarized by simple labels. These labels can only be notes on the person, not the whole shell of the person. *Behavior comes from attitude, and behavior can in turn influence and even change attitude. I hope that you will not be bound by the shackles of the \"avoidant attachment personality\", but will explore more possibilities for yourself, and enrich your understanding of yourself through growing life experience. *But you don't have to force yourself to act all the time, a life without your heart is not worth living. I wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15313
       },
       {
        "question": "How about making friends with a girl, and why do you get de-friended if you can't get along?",
        "description": "I have not been able to be friends with my exes, I have been de-friended or messaged and never returned. Some new acquaintances just contact soon chatting chatting ignore me, although I do not seem to care also very humorous and considerate but in fact also quite mind. I envy some people have female friends, now contact with female friends are afraid to like them, because once like will probably lose or even friends can not do, always suspect that they have a problem is always said to be straight thinking, so also has been changing. Doing things should be good, however, so I can not control the results, things do not end really quite hurt. I am a very caring girlfriend, more gentle and considerate, but also generous, but may think a little westernized, I like people do not have a fixed type, but generally are more character, but not necessarily good-looking, because in some areas of my personality is also a little bit like water and who can get along with any environment can be adapted to, I do not know where in the end out of the problem or fate did not come. Now the age is also older, the family introduced to the girlfriend are love to study good girl, because I am also very good at studying, so it is not very interested, but also have to deal with family problems is really too difficult.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Love Loss, Relationship Management, Good Feelings",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Long-term relationship must have a premise is: mutual appreciation. To find the object for the purpose of starting to add the friend, can not get along with the object and then turn back to friends, can be said to be very embarrassing. Who said that friends can be treated as objects, but objects are difficult to become friends, so delete is the most sensible. The reason why they are said to be straight men may be because they usually emphasize \"reason\" and ignore \"love\". Girls are more concerned about their feelings, and not replying is actually the most polite way to reject them. It's not that straight men are bad, it's that you haven't met anyone who understands you. If you appreciate each other, everything is good.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17773
       },
       {
        "question": "Always living in anxiety? It's so painful to be so careful all the time.",
        "description": "Usually it's fine, but when I go to work, I start to become uneasy, always afraid of doing something wrong, afraid of being criticized, afraid of the leadership, so nervous, there is a voice in my brain, always staring at me, saying that I'm not doing well, denying me, criticizing me, and sometimes other people don't criticize me, but I start to criticize myself, and I'm always living in fear and uneasiness, and I'm very low self-esteem. I want to hide myself. Always hiding behind the crowd, so scared.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner: In normal life it's ok, but at work one becomes especially timid, afraid of the leader and always feels that one will do something wrong. Understand your feelings very well, hugs to you. I hope the following words can help you. Reason: 1, the authority effect in life, we will have a stereotype effect on some people and things. Each of us will be more afraid of authority, because from the authority we are insecure, is to feel bad. In fact, in the owner's mind, an equivalence has been drawn between leadership and authority. So, you think that leaders are all mean, harsh and scary. But what actually happens? Some leaders at work are very approachable. It is the stereotype of the leader formed in your mind that makes you afraid of the leader, especially afraid of doing the wrong thing.2. Fear of not being perfectFear of doing the wrong thing, fear of being criticized, fear of not being loved. In fact, in many parents' concept of education, the child who does not make mistakes and is perfect is the best child. When we did something wrong when we were young, our family might scold us; when we scored 95 points when we were young, our parents would say why we didn't score 100 points? I don't know if you had these experiences when you were a child; if you did, this experience will exist in your subconscious mind, and when you grow up, when you think of doing something wrong, you will think of being scolded, criticized, and disliked. While as a child this image may be played by a parent, a relative, when you grow up, this image may be played by a leader who scares you. And the fear of making mistakes in learning will become the fear of making mistakes at work. Suggestions: 1, distraction, relaxation Murphy's Law tells us that when we are more worried about the occurrence of a thing, the more likely this thing will happen. So, when you have tension and fear of emotions generated, but more likely to do the wrong thing, so as to fall into a vicious circle. So owner, when you are afraid, you can try to divert your attention and take a deep breath to relax. When you put all your attention on your work and not on the fear of making mistakes, your situation will be well improved.2, take the first step The owner of your situation is similar to social fear. You want to hide behind the crowd, you're afraid, not confident. But the best way to combat fear is to do it. There is a word in psychology called systematic desensitization. You, the owner, can try to break down your behavior into steps to do, and it is recommended to start with the one thing that brings you the least amount of fear. For the first time, you can try to communicate with your colleagues and express your own ideas; for the second time, you can try to communicate with your leader and ask for his opinion; for the third time, you can try to take the initiative to express your own views in the meeting ...... In fact, fear stems from the unknown. When we go to do this thing that makes us feel fear, the fear itself is not so fearful.3, face up to their own value, improve self-confidence owner, you are now in this company on the job, is through layers of interviews and screening. If your ability is not good, then I believe you will not have the opportunity to enter the job. Since the job, then on behalf of the company for your own ability to be sure, your own why self-doubt it? Give yourself some more positive mental stimuli. These things, you can definitely do well, you think do not do well, will be wrong, but also just what you think. 4, learn other people's social methods in the company, the owner can try to learn how to get along with other coworkers, they and the leadership and how to get along. Maybe you will gradually find that your colleague a, do a wrong job, the leader is not how harshly criticized him; you may find that your colleagues around you, will have to do the wrong thing, just that they can quickly adjust their mood, not to be wrong mood; you may find that the exchange, is not so difficult; the leader, is not so scary. I hope the owner can become a better version of himself. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing words is like seeing words, and I hope these words, bring you even a little bit of warmth. Hugs to you. This kind of emotion, and my current feelings are too similar: usually okay, as soon as I start to do experiments, I feel that I will mess things up, break the apparatus, knock over the reagents, do some useless waste of resources ...... afraid to do not do well criticized by the teacher, even if the teacher will not criticize me, I will self-criticism. I don't want to ask anyone if I don't know how to do something, so I'd rather keep failing and failing and failing ...... But I'm going to graduate next year, and I have to finish the experiment this year in order to graduate successfully. To do it successfully, I have to face everything I am afraid of now. I've analyzed where my fear comes from and tried to find some solutions to it, and I hope these things will be helpful to you as well.1. Time is too tight and I'm too lazy \u25b7 My experiment task can be said to be very urgent, plus I have to set aside time for failure, so I have to race against the clock; but I'm a very lazy and procrastinating person, and I always have to delay everything until the last minute. But procrastinating until the last minute doesn't mean that I'll be able to relax before doing anything, instead I'll be apprehensive and very nervous about remembering all these things, and I won't be able to play well. I wonder if you are in a similar situation? Are you usually able to get things done without delay? Is there always the pressure of unfinished work weighing you down? The way I try about this is to start doing it. Pushing yourself to start working on it, even if it's just a little bit today, is better than not doing it at all. Even if you fail, it's better than not starting.2. Fear of Failure \u25b7 I'm a person who needs positive feedback, that is, I will only do something if I can see positive consequences. If I fail all the time, or if no one encourages me, I'll be resistant to doing it, and the more I put it off, the more I'll worry about it. My family always says I \"worry more than I do\". Fear of failure is human, and I think you are also afraid of messing things up. The solution is to face your fears head on. Just because I'm scared doesn't mean I don't need to do something. Fear only makes me lose the courage to do it. Like these days when I do experiments and I can't get it to work, I subconsciously want to run away. But my teacher and sister said that failure is very normal, to summarize the experience from failure, only after a lot of failures, in order to figure out the right way. I also let myself compare the consequences of failing now and failing the whole thing: failing the experiment now is just a matter of doing it a few more times, soaking in the lab for a few more days, and suffering a little bit more blows, but if I procrastinate and don't do it, resulting in the whole experiment not being done, then I won't be able to graduate, and I'll either have to postpone my graduation to do the whole experiment, or just graduate without getting my degree certificate - -how to think of it is worse than failing to do the experiment. You can also compare the consequences of failing in the moment with the consequences of failing in total, so that the present fear can be turned into motivation. We're all in this together! Good luck getting your confidence up and stop being scared.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Miss I read your Q&A, and your replies, and a lot of people answered professionally, so I won't say too much about things like family of origin. My situation is similar to yours, maybe worse, I had listed three large paragraphs of several hundred words to write about my experience, I hope to let you know that there are people with the same experience as you, you are not alone, but think or delete, but I can understand you part, our experience is not exactly the same, but this sense of loneliness I feel deeply. I'll talk about my entire process from loneliness to gradually solid, and how to get my mother to agree to raise a small animal does not help much, I'm not a professional counselor, I can not give you too professional advice, from the process of dealing with these things, I hope to be able to help you in a way. The first thing I did from the beginning, when I first started being alone in my junior year of high school, was to vent and comfort others. It was when I was in high school and I had a computer at home, I talked to a lot of strangers on penguin and confided in each other, but never my parents or friends. I met a girl, and while we chatted with each other, we wrote a novel together, I wrote a paragraph, she wrote a paragraph, and sent it to each other via email when it was finished, and it was one of the few good memories I have of my hardest days. We are also in the self-help, Miss, I'm glad that in the face of loneliness you are constantly thinking of ways, I hope you can hold on, there will be a famous forum, which has a psychological column, a lot of people post messages, there are a lot of positive posts, I learned that they are the same as me, so they will leave messages and interact with them to encourage each other. In fact, this is also a very good platform, you leave a post in the hope that others give you a reply to the colleague, you can also try to search for some and you have a similar experience of the post, leave a message, add a friend, to help each other a little. The second thing is to read books, Satya therapy, self-hypnosis, Morita's let nature take its course, read a lot, this piece of short-term help is actually not very much, but in order to make a difference, positive accumulation is a must, the basis for change is to have a quantity, quantitative change in order to cause qualitative change. The third thing is to play the game, I am a boy, went to college in the dormitory, playing the game has become the most I can save their way. I was playing World War II every day, and I would go to bed until I was too tired to sleep, either that or I couldn't sleep, so you know how strong the feeling of loneliness was. When I couldn't get on line for the game update, I was really like a husky, anxious and tormented, and couldn't stop walking around. I've known a few close friends in the game for three years, and as long as I can't see them on the line, I feel as if I've lost my love, and I can't stop the loneliness and anxiety like a flood. (Lonely I would not have had a relationship then, after and you say, but the feeling of lost love, I understand! It's so hard.) But then it was separated, each with their own things, and the experience, again, was a rare memory. The fourth is to see the psychological counseling, take medication, when the university went to the school's psychological counseling room, high school has also been to the school's, after the work to go to the community's psychological counseling room, to be honest, that will not be of much use, and now I think it should be that will be their own accumulation of not enough, because a lot of things, including their own enlightenment of their own experience of the piece, it is necessary to have the knowledge of the accumulation of knowledge. Until the last two years, after contacting a lot of things, only to have a deeper understanding of themselves, and then do the counseling, progress is very fast. Fifth is the time of work, every day overtime until late, 9 o'clock work, 11 o'clock off, to find a lot of workload for themselves, thinking that the work is full, it is not lonely. That memory, too cruel... The sixth is that I officially began to help themselves, is to quit their jobs to travel, Qinghai Lake ride twice, hiking to Tibet, then Xiamen ride, to night climbing Mount Tai, Mount Hua, etc., many places, including later began to exercise every day, participate in the marathon, save a number of marathon cards, because I do so think, has been stuck in one place, holding a It's hard to change your mind. Seventh is to resign and change jobs, there is a year I changed a lot of work, from manpower, to telemarketing, and then photography assistant, and then there are delivery, completely different nature of the work, but every change in the environment, so that I recognize different people their different outlook on life and values, to be honest, this is also a shock to me, although I do recruiting contact with a lot of people, but in fact, it is still too shallow, to do the most grassroots, only to find out that their social and life values, but also to find that I am not a good person. I realized that my understanding of society and life is so inadequate. Eighth, the last thing I can think of, which is also the most crucial, is to persevere! It is possible that this stage of your life will last for a long time without external help, but a full and solid life is certainly obtainable as long as you keep accumulating and exploring. That will talk to you to tell you about the pain of my lost love. That before I just had a section of the first year of high school, junior high school had a section, and then had an online love, and then high school crush a girl, college and a crush for four years, that will be very lonely, very painful, they are very tormented, let alone confession, in fact, confession, but inappropriate, and did not cut off, has been as a friend to see her change a number of boyfriends, you know, what I feel ... my friends! I have a lot of friends, and all of them are very good to me, but because of the habits of my family since childhood, it's hard for me to establish close relationships. In addition, Miss, to recommend you a few I remember more warm hearted drama, nothing can look at \"Luo Xiaohei War Journal\" \"Natsume Friends Account\" \"Please answer 1988\" including the writer ginger grass some horror manga, said horror manga, but in fact, quite cozy, a little horror. Hamster I have raised, I raised called the old man wife wife (species), but this thing to have patience, and this species is not too love close to people, the good thing is that the size is small, cute. You can have the kind of hamster that is slightly bigger, trilinear ah whatsoever, you can hold it in your hand and watch them eat, it's quite healing too. Hubby likes to run the wheel, flexible, well raised can also be supported in the hand, three line is fat, lazy, do not love to run the wheel. There is something else I want to say, called the sense of existence, the sense of existence of this thing, everyone is brushing, children adults. Some people study well, study well is the way he brushes the sense of existence, some people sing well, singing is the way she brushes, there are many more, some people have only one way to brush, some have two, three or even more, some people can only be obtained from the outside, and some people can obtain the sense of existence from themselves. It also has a lot to do with family of origin, loneliness and presence are somewhat related things. You don't have many friends and you can't always confide in them, your parents are divorced and your mother ignores your hints, so for you, you don't have a strong sense of existence for the time being, and the best thing you can do is to look for it from the outside, but your mother can't understand you, so your sense of existence is too low. How to find a sense of existence, you have seen my way, and people write novels, forum posts, travel, etc., and have a cat and a dog is one of them, cats and dogs can give you echo, echo at any time, the dog will also take the initiative to find you when you are very low mood to interact with you, the best to keep, can not be kept there are other ways. These are my ways, you need to find your own. I can remind you that the emotion of loneliness and isolation is not independent, but can be accompanied by depression, anxiety, etc. It may not be suitable for you, but you can be warned that I originally thought that mine was pure loneliness, and then when I did something with a high sense of self-worth, I realized that even when I was alone, this feeling gradually faded away. In that would I wasn't anxious or depressed anymore, the loneliness disappeared on its own. So, it's recommended to do counseling if you can afford it. I can't give much advice on how to communicate with my mother, and I didn't do a very good job of it. But then I thought about it, when I was communicating with my mother, I just yelled at them, telling them that they didn't understand me, so they could only give me food and drink, but in fact, I didn't say anything about the difficulties I was facing, including my loneliness, not to mention the difficulties I encountered in looking for a partner, the fact that I couldn't communicate with my friends in depth, the feeling of inferiority, and the pain in my heart I didn't say anything about it, so I don't know if you have ever told your mother your specific situation. I don't know if you have told your mother about your specific situation, not just tell her about loneliness, tell her what is different between you and other people of your age, where do you hurt, be more specific, I don't know if she will understand. In addition, if you want, you can complain less, more ask your mother when she was young, or your grandparents, she will tell you, in the process of listening, you can draw close to the sense of intimacy, perhaps some words, hidden can be said. In the end, go for it.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, hello, it's like seeing you in person. I can understand your troubles, give you a hug~ -------------- Some analysis on the issue: From the description you provided, you start to feel uneasy as soon as you start work, always afraid of making mistakes, scared of criticism, and fearful of your superiors. And it causes feelings of uneasiness and tension. Perhaps you have heard or encountered something that made you think that everyone is closely watching you and that your mistakes will be magnified indefinitely. So you feel uneasy and afraid of being negated. You even feel like there's a voice in your head constantly criticizing and negating you, which actually tends towards \"emotional flagellation\". That is, our conscious thoughts desire something, but our subconscious thoughts do not, thus creating a series of conflicting thoughts and behaviors. Emotional flagellation is related to the \"self-image\" in the subconscious. If in the subconscious, our self-image is not good, we believe we have no value, and do not deserve to be loved, it will generate many negative emotions such as inferiority and pain, thinking that we do not deserve to be healthy, happy, or successful. These negative emotions cannot be seen or touched, but they deeply affect our conscious behavior. You want to believe that you can do something well, but your subconscious lacks confidence in yourself and does not recognize your abilities, so you always feel like there's a voice saying that you won't do well. -------------- Some thoughts: Break free from the vortex of the spotlight effect. \"The spotlight effect\" refers to the tendency for people to overestimate the degree to which others pay attention to their appearance and behavior. Actually, everyone has this tendency because we excessively care about our own image in the eyes of others. So you don't need to be afraid of being laughed at or gossiped about for making mistakes and so on. On the one hand, this is because people won't excessively dwell on a small mistake; on the other hand, nobody is perfect, who can guarantee that they won't make mistakes? Just try to remedy them when you don't do well. Try to make self-affirmations. In your daily life and work, try to minimize negative expressions of self-denial, which means not always saying that you're scared or unable. Because if you constantly deny yourself, over time, the subconscious will deeply embed these statements in your mind, thus weakening your confidence. At the same time, try using present progressive tense to make self-affirmations, such as \"I can do it now\" or \"I can face it courageously now\". This is because using sentences like \"I want to\" or \"I will\" makes the subconscious feel like you want to leave your wishes to be fulfilled in the future, instead of starting to change now. Seek a comprehensive evaluation from others about yourself. Actually, your lack of confidence in yourself might be because you think you are not good enough or lack the ability. But many times, when people are in a negative mood, their evaluation of themselves tends to be negative and extremely negative. At this time, you can try to let your trusted friends or family members give a comprehensive evaluation of your personality, abilities, temper, and so on. Maybe when you hear those words, you might have the illusion that others are just comforting you. But don't rush to negate it, listen to several people's answers. One person might deceive you out of good intentions, but when everyone's honest and similar in their evaluations of you, then that should be the closest to your objective image. And then gradually start to believe it, reinforce this belief with positive self-evaluations. -------------- I hope my thoughts can be helpful to you~ A little mushroom that hopes for a gentle world and gives itself time to grow freely.",
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          "answer_text": "Yes, living under the \"spotlight\" of other people's \"critical eyes\" can't be painful. I don't know how old you are and how long you have been working. The owner didn't mention her upbringing, I don't know if she intentionally avoided it or just ignored it? I tried to think about the reasons that may have caused the current situation, for discussion: you grew up in a rather high-pressure environment, did not give you or simply do not give you the opportunity to speak out, the rules are completely set by \"others\", or perhaps the rules of what is not clear to you, at least at that time you can not understand, and the violation of the rules of the penalties brought about! Perhaps you have personally experienced, perhaps you have witnessed, which has left a memory to your body; be criticized, be blamed seems to be your \"normal life\", in the normal work environment, did not do anything wrong, certainly not by colleagues, leadership criticism, accusation, no criticism, accusation of this state because of the state of memory with your body is not the same, but let you do not have the same, but let you do not have the same, but let you do not have the same, but let you do not have the same, but let you do not have the same, but let you do not have the same. The same, on the contrary, you do not have a sense of \"security\", but to make you more fearful and uneasy. Look at your description of the main reason for the fear of anxiety is afraid of doing something wrong, afraid of others to criticize, afraid of leadership. Suggest that you try to quiet down, think about the fear of doing wrong, fear of criticism, fear of leadership behind these, what you really afraid of? Is what you are afraid of really worth being afraid of? Things to do wrong, can be corrected, others criticized can help me progress, the leader is both the leader and colleagues, the majesty of people can not be close to the possibility of being afraid of not to, the three scenarios add up to the worst result is that you open, you lose the job. The big deal is to find another job, change jobs for people nowadays, is not a common thing? If conditions allow, seek professional counseling to help you run through it, it feels like your current mental state in the work environment is not the norm. Good luck!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear friend. See the words as they are. First of all, allow me to give you a big \ufe0fhug\ufe0f. I can empathize with you so much when I hear what you have to say. I can really feel your fear and anxiety and helplessness. I hope my words can more or less help you a little bit. First of all, you mentioned that @ in normal times is fine, as soon as you go to work, you start to become uneasy, always afraid of doing wrong, afraid of being criticized, afraid of the leader, so nervous. You should first ask yourself why you are afraid? (To find out the reason so that you can solve the problem better) Is it purely and without reason that you are afraid of the leader when you see him or is it in one way or another? For the usual why can be a little calm and the first time to go to work, panic. You can carefully compare the similarities and differences between the two and analyze them carefully. Secondly, you said @there is a voice in my brain that keeps staring at me, saying that I am not doing well, denying me, criticizing me, and sometimes when others don't criticize me, they start criticizing themselves. This is a sign of self *denial*. The voice in the brain keeps surfacing and denying itself, which in turn creates an illusion that makes the self feel inferior and afraid. Be positive and give yourself the mental suggestion that these are just your own illusions, that it doesn't exist, and that sometimes you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Therefore, learn to regulate yourself. \"Trying to hide myself from myself. Always hide behind the crowd, so scared\" See this I really feel for you heartache, super want to hug you. I can relate to your helplessness and caution. However, what we should do more is to \ufe0fbuild self-confidence \ufe0fbecause in the process, we will slowly find ourselves, see their own flash point, live their own life, do not always care too much about what others think, dear friend, please believe that everyone is unique, irreplaceable. Wish you find yourself soon. (\u0e07-\u0300_-\u0301)\u0e07Go for it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject! Seeing your confusion first give you a hug, hope it can give you some warmth. Seeing the subject's confusion, I used to have such confusion too. Whenever I was at home, I was always careful, afraid of making a mistake, and I was quiet at home. Later I tried to go out by myself, I tried to find more interesting things, make more friends, and also participated in more activities, and forced myself to go on the stage more to practice my courage. This has changed my character a lot, I am much more cheerful. At the same time, participating in a lot of activities and making more friends also broadened my horizons, and my way of thinking and view of things also changed a lot. I started to be more self-centered, I want to learn more knowledge, master more skills, and I want to become better. At the same time, I stopped caring about what other people thought, I became independent, I stopped being careful about what I did, and everything changed a lot. So I'm sure you can do the same! The subject can be based on their own interests to understand more knowledge, to explore their own potential, multi-faceted development of their own, so that they can have a more adequate bottom. A person must have self-confidence, self-confidence, we are really beautiful! Finally, I hope that the subject can get out of the confusion as soon as possible, do not rush, although the process is very difficult, very slow, but we all have to believe that the results of the effort is very beautiful! Cheer up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You have placed within yourself a voice that stares at you and criticizes you 24 hours a day, and the common way you talk to yourself is to criticize the negativity, and I don't think anyone can resist such an attack on the self. Of course, it can be guessed that such criticism must have initially started from the negativity of those closest to you, and over the years you have planted this voice within yourself. You need to learn to slowly identify, that voice is the outside world is really happening or your inner voice, and inner criticism and who you are speaking for, if you have the conditions, it is recommended to find a teacher to do counseling, you need to re-internalization of an objective voice, of course, the time will be longer, be prepared for a certain amount of psychological preparation.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12119
       },
       {
        "question": "24 years old and my husband won't touch me when he sleeps?",
        "description": "My husband and I met on a blind date and got married in February of this year after two years of getting together. Previously, I vaguely have found that we both lie in bed can hold me, can touch me, but when falling asleep, he does not want to touch me, turn his back to sleep. But recently he told me that when he lies in bed at night, he will compose a novel and then he can slowly fall asleep. I suddenly understood, is it that when he touches me he can't successfully conceive a novel in his mind, and can't fantasize. I feel uncomfortable, the first is, back to me to sleep, the second, ghost know what he conceived a novel, can not be realistic and live well I know who can control a person's mind again, but I really can not stand this situation, this is only married for how long, the future of the day is so long. He never communicated with me in the life of the two of us, each time I take the initiative to mention, I character impulsive, see him this silent look, the heart and upset, always want to find him trouble, trouble teachers, friends to help analyze our situation, thank you all.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Concepts, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Mr. Owner! If you talk about \"whether he will hold you or touch you when he sleeps\", there is nothing to discuss, and it is impossible to analyze it or convey a certain message, but there are some other issues in your description that we can talk about, and I think the biggest problem between you is in the mode of communication and getting along with each other. \"My husband and I met on a blind date and got married in February of this year after two years of getting together.\" I want to ask you to think about one question, how much do you know about your husband? How much do you know about his social circle, his upbringing, his family situation, his studies, his personality traits, his hobbies, his life aspirations? Understanding often needs to be built on understanding, so in order to understand someone, you first need to know something about them. On the other hand, how much does your husband know about you? How much of the above does he know? Silence is often just an appearance, because silence does not mean stagnant thought, some people are silent but the thought of the active degree is often much higher than the mouth of the people. Most of the reticence is not can not say, will not say, but do not want to say. Another important point is: when did you first realize that your husband was quiet? Was he like that when he was in love? If not, then why did he become like that? \"I have an impulsive personality, see him this silent look, the heart and upset, always want to find him trouble\" This is more typical of the controlling, aggressive performance, this situation is often \"insecurity\" led to once things are not in their own control, they will feel a strong sense of security. Once things are out of their control, they will feel a strong sense of loss of control and uneasiness. \"I feel uncomfortable, the first is, back to me to sleep, the second, the ghost knows what he conceived a novel, can not be realistic point to live well,\" sleeping posture and direction can not accurately illustrate the problem, as a personal behavioral habits on the right, if you really do not like it, the two can be negotiated to solve the problem. Conceptualizing a novel .... It doesn't seem to be affecting life, does it? It is better to solve the possible problems in the relationship between husband and wife first, you can start from the communication, in the communication of listening is often more important than saying ~ I wish you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "A: Problems in marriage are largely a result of communication barriers. Every visitor encounters the trouble of miscommunication in the gender relationship because of not understanding the thinking of the opposite sex. To feel happy and find a sense of existence in marriage, a woman has to understand the psychology of men. Women are emotional animals who solve problems through their mouths. Men are action rational animal. This leads to a misalignment of communication patterns. Many women like to complain and blame, counting the husband is not, but this will only counterproductive, so that men are more silent and even bored. This is all caused by women who do not understand the male mind and the psychology of men. Many women will find that their husbands are very attentive and caring to them before marriage, why is there no existence after marriage? To make her husband pity her, first of all, the woman has to grow continuously and become fragrant and jade. Most of the men are working outside, more hope that the woman's understanding, respect and worship. This is because a woman pursues self and self love, but a man's ultimate pursuit is power and freedom. Self-growth, marriage management, communication mode, couple life, etc. are all need to learn. Good women are a school, men can be tuned. Marriage is not the tomb of love, nor is it a happy life from now on after getting married. High emotional intelligence, can be pampered, know how to grow, in order to be good at themselves and master their husbands.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Question for the subject, your husband doesn't touch you when he sleeps and has his back to you, I wonder what that means to you? Is it a sign that he doesn't love you like that, is it a sign that you may feel that you are not good enough so he treats you like that. If so, please communicate this to your husband. That is, talk to your husband about your feelings and your needs. Here is a communication technique called nonviolent communication. Simply put, it involves telling the truth, talking about your feelings, talking about your needs and making specific requests. To summarize these four steps, when we express ourselves, we can say this, \"I see ...... this makes my heart feel ...... and what I need is... ...then can you help me do ......\" For example, you see that your husband is always getting together with friends and not coming home for dinner, the use of nonviolent communication can be expressed in this way, \"I see that you have four nights this week with a good friend, and I feel lonely to be home alone for dinner. I feel lonely eating alone at home, I need your company, can you come home early tomorrow night from work?\" Of course, it's not necessary to say this all at once, but you can use it depending on the other person's reaction. Use these four steps to communicate with each other so that there is more sincerity and honesty and less criticism and blame. This way after you have communicated and bridged the emotional gap, the intimacy between you will be further enhanced. This is much more useful than analyzing him, and the subject is advised to use this approach.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, I read your description and feel that your husband's reluctance to touch you when he sleeps makes you uncomfortable. He sleeps with his back to you and says he is conceptualizing a novel, which is hard for you to accept. I feel your aggression and anger. Let's carefully analyze how to communicate this issue. For you, you care that couples should be more intimate when they sleep. The fact that your husband is actively hugging you as you fall asleep may mean something important to you, representing that he needs you and you can be needed. Or maybe you are actually relying on him and want his hug to make you more at ease and comfortable. Psychological studies have also found that hugs between partners can be good for a person's physical and mental health by making them feel safe and happy. For him, he has a claim: to conceptualize a novel before going to bed and then slowly fall asleep. When conceptualizing a novel, he will turn his back to you. And \"we can both lie in bed and cuddle and touch me,\" suggesting that he will cuddle with you, but just wants to focus on the novel while falling asleep. Constructing a novel might be a normal appeal for him? After analyzing the above 2 points, we will find that your demands and your husband's demands can be met at the same time without conflict. What you want is an expression of love, and if he proves that he loves you, cuddling with you fully before going to bed, chatting with each other, and having a good night kiss might fulfill your emotional needs. Or you can think about what kind of form you want and let him fulfill it. Hubby's habit is to conceptualize his own novel, if he meets your emotional needs, maybe you can also accept a little bit of his habit, or ask him if he wants you to provide him with some new ideas, after all, inspiration also often comes from life. Or does he have other unspoken demands that he wants to address by conceptualizing a novel? You can face it together. Finding each other's inner needs and fulfilling them in the relationship can also heat up your relationship~ Good luck, Sauce.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20956
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you balance your relationship with your family when you have a big family sister?",
        "description": "I am a sister, there is a younger brother and a sister at home, may have grown up with the influence of the family environment, although now married for a number of years, there are children, but still entangled with the family, the economic conditions may not allow has not been able to truly independent, sometimes too much for the younger siblings, will feel that it is unfair to the husband, and sometimes take care of the small family and feel that ignored the everyone, there will be a sense of guilt, how to do it?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relations",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, building owner. Often times, we put higher demands on ladies, especially working ladies, on how to balance family and work, as well as their own little family and big family. Here, we have to understand one thing, that after marriage, it must be your family that comes first. Because, after all, this is the place where you live for the rest of your life, and only if we run our own small family well, we can better run our own big family. You are the older sister, may have grown up with a lot of care for younger siblings, this kind of care in the bones. It is not possible to end because of marriage, when they make some requests, need your help, we certainly can not stand by, just one thing, the help of younger siblings, must be measured. The Internet are popular saying, say marrying a wife do not marry help brother devil, that is to say, sister in order to younger brother, pay too much, in the end, most likely will even involve their own small family. Finally made their own day is not good, of course, I also believe that you will have a consideration of their own, when to help, when not to help, there are instructions, but also the need for skills, do not because of the soft heart, and cause their own family troubles, in the end, the husband, younger siblings may not recognize you, this is the most sad, I hope to keep in mind. Finally. I want to say to you, see your question, you can see your inner sense of guilt, as if they go not good enough, in fact, you do not know is that these you do not do can, do, is your love, do not do that is also this, do not be kidnapped by the social morality, so you live tired, the family will be followed by you suffer. Remember, no matter what, the world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This isn't exactly a big family. We have 3 kids in our family too. The oldest works and naturally gives the second some money for school, and the oldest and second love the third. Although I still have all the family expenses, my mom is starting to work hard and the family is getting better and better. As for what you said, I can understand, elder sister is like a mother. Right? In fact, this is my family, my family of origin is a bit inferior to you. Big sister all day is to calculate to help this and that, in fact, their conditions now that the best. She's just afraid that we'll bother her. So the relationship between siblings is very tense. You this big sister do good, our family Mrs. is also a big sister, and you like, protect younger siblings. As you can see, we are doing well too. Bless you.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 9545
       },
       {
        "question": "Sophomore male, getting grumpy and depressed since 20 years?",
        "description": "Maternal single, freshman semester met a girl, the two of us first met with a good feeling, and then I asked her out to dinner several times, we are considered to have a good feeling about it, shoulders, whispering have, with three months later, I confessed to her was rejected, she said that I only as a good friend, and do not want to talk about a relationship, that period of time I'm very sad, but still because of the study of restrained, after 2 months it I found that she handed over the boy, I started to be wrong, the thought of a relationship is very angry, angry at their own useless, do not deserve to get love, and now because of the epidemic at home, I can go to study to forget about it. From then on, I was not right, the thought of falling in love is very angry, angry at their own useless, do not deserve love, before the school life, I can go to study to forget about it, now because of quarantine at home, and thought of my junior high and high school have confessed to the failure of the experience, I'm now very easy to suddenly depressed, I try to exercise to divert attention, but still can only be pressed for a period of time, I hope that by reading a psychological book, first understand yourself, encourage yourself, I hope to be a good friend, and I hope that I will be a good friend, and I hope that I will be a good friend. I hope that by reading psychological books, first to understand themselves, to encourage themselves to solve, but still can not, I am now prone to depression, if you think of love will be very angry, and heartache, sometimes can not be suppressed and no one at home will break down and cry, I am mostly still suppressed emotions, I do not want to show to let the family, the people around me to worry about, I just want to work hard to earn money, to reduce the burden of the family. I'm afraid I'll do something stupid if I can't control it.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, therapies, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Owner: A failed relationship experience can make us become self-doubting. Owner, due to the failure of your confession to a girl in your freshman year, since then, you are angry when you think of relationships. In fact, you are angry not because of the relationship itself, but the confession experience in your freshman year that made you start to doubt your own value. That girl had a boyfriend not long after she rejected you, and the fact that you're angry about being in a relationship actually represents that you're angry about your own sense of low value. So, how to ease their own emotions?1. Change self-perception from the owner of your words, I can feel that you will not be successful in the cause of the confession, attributed to their own useless, feel that they are not good enough, do not deserve to have love. However, do you see, even if it is loved by all the male goddesses, or idol stars sought after by the public, they have experienced the pain of falling out of love, but also have had the experience of love and can not be. In our opinion, these male gods and goddesses and popular stars have good looks, smart minds, interesting personalities, good family backgrounds, and even enough money. They are not perfect, but at least in the eyes of most people, are equipped with all the factors to be liked. If they are so good, why do they still fall out of love and experience so much pain from love? In fact, you see, the owner, that person loves you or not, can love for how long, really and a person is very good or not, there is no necessary connection. There are many reasons to love someone, it could be that the other person is good to us, that the other person is good enough, or it could even simply be that the dopamine in each of us is working. There are also many reasons for not loving or no longer loving someone, it may be that we find the other person's shortcomings intolerable, it may be that we have met someone we like better, or it may even be that the other person is not in love with us when the hot period of love is over. It is true that good people have more chances to get the favor of the opposite sex, but it does not necessarily mean that the person you are in love with also loves you at the same time. A lot of factors contribute to the success of a relationship, and you really don't need to blame yourself for the failure of your relationship.2. Facing your own emotions and expressing your pain is not an easy task, but the more you avoid it, the more you forget about it. Facing their own unhappy, through a variety of ways to vent their emotions (such as crying, exercise, do their favorite things, etc.), and will be unhappy to express (talk to friends and family, or through the way to write a diary to talk to themselves), but can be better faster. You mentioned, owner, that sometimes it's easy to break down when you can't suppress your emotions, and that's because unhappy emotions, if there's no normal way to vent them, then they'll just stay there and eventually build up deeper and deeper, leaving us in constant pain. It's not okay to be in pain until it's spoken. And only after the emotions are expressed can we see things rationally.3. There are many reasons why relationships don't work out, both external and internal. What we can do now is to find our own reasons from our previous relationship experiences, to reflect and summarize. With this process of thinking and summarizing, we can know what kind of person we would like, what kind of person would be suitable for us; we can know what is the most important thing in the relationship, how we should cherish a relationship, how to face the failure of the relationship. There are many ways to improve yourself, such as fitness, study, hard work, self-enrichment and so on. Expand your social circle, make yourself better before the right person comes. Owner, any unpleasant experience can actually be learned from in hindsight. The past is gone, the future is yet to come. From now on, put aside the shadow of the past lost love and be brave enough to find the one you love, okay? When you meet someday, use the lyrics: Hey, so you're here too ~ good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1\u3001The matter of confession failure has brought you some bad effects, and I understand your pain. However, I want to tell you is that the failure of confession, maybe you are not good enough, maybe you social relations in general, maybe and you have nothing to do with, the girl is just a heart belongs to.2, sometimes we always value the confession thing, in fact, if and the opposite sex dating, the development of natural on it, no need to deliberately. There is always a time, you will understand each other's heart, this time confession is the water to the thing, there is a great success rate.3, perhaps because of your lack of social experience, so you can not distinguish the girl to you is a common friend or intentional. Improve your social relations, and have more contact with friends of the opposite sex.4. Anyone who is in love with the time, don't pay too much attention to it. It is very rare to encounter love in one's life. It is precisely because it is rare that it is precious.5. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you, longing for love is every will have, was rejected in fact is normal, like a person does not necessarily have, your emotions may also come from the denial of their own, but life is so long, maybe it is for you to prepare a colorful egg, cheer up to study, improve themselves, so that in the encounter with the girl that you like, do not worry about their own not good enough, and she passed by, don't you think so!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, any unpleasant experience can actually be learned from in hindsight. The past is gone and the future is yet to come. From now on, put aside the shadow of the past lost love and be brave enough to find the one you love, okay? When you meet someday, use the lyrics: Hey, so you're here too~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19204
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you resolve or make choices in the face of inner conflicts (personality conflicts)?",
        "description": "1. Quiet and outgoing. Will make some harmless jokes, very thoughtful, relatively lively, some childish, a little big-headed, but the time to be serious will not fall off the chain, is the kind of little girl's state, the temper is good and easy-going, but the inner toughness, easy-going, but will not be bullied. Will often think, very rational, self-protection consciousness is very strong, to many people's easy-going is a kind of indifference to easy-going, big talk is a kind of lowering other people's expectations of me, so as to make myself relaxed will not have so many burdens, extroverted is also in fact my acquired mimicry and then evolved into their own, because I have been more introverted in my childhood, and my mother has always hoped that I could be lively and cheerful and generous. 2. after the university Something forced me to become gentle from the inside out to accept myself, because one is to avoid conflicts, and the other is to face many things I can not do, forced to be gentle in order to reconcile with themselves. Then my character gradually became: quiet and gentle, good temper, not angry. However, I am not so tough, I am not so motivated in my studies and work, I subconsciously avoid conflicts and resign myself to the views of others, but my heart and temper are more gentle, I can look at others with a more tolerant perspective, my reason is more warm, but my sense of inner protection is lowered, and I tend to protect myself with a sense of distance by not talking too much.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject~ Self-reconciliation is not about condescending yourself to others, nor is it about suppressing your own anger towards others, yourself towards yourself Oh~ You mentioned that you were very protective of yourself before, and that you were cold and easy-going towards others, can I understand it this way, you are cold towards people because you feel that no one really cares about you, cares about you, loves you, so you don't have much affection for other people, and that's why you're cold and indifferent, hugging you ah. . And you mentioned easy-going including from the back to get to see the information, is to avoid conflict, more affected by other people's views, then can I say this way, because you want to avoid conflict, so you will be attached to other people's views, and even other people accused you of attacking you, make you very difficult, you want to make each other happy, and attached to what she said, to please her, and the back of it is your fear of your fear, please think of what will happen if they are What happens if they get angry? What would happen? Your mother wants you to be extroverted, and you pretend to be extroverted, which means that you want to be the way your mother wants you to be, and you mentioned that you are forced to reconcile with yourself in the face of many things you can't do, so you can see that you have too high a demand on yourself, and many of the demands you make on yourself are things you can't do yourself, but you want to do it very much, but you're forced to do it by your own inability to do it, so I'd like to ask you about your gentle and tempered behavior. I would like to ask, you said mild tempered, how do you think when you can't do it yourself? Have you ever been very angry and persuaded yourself to forget about it and not get angry? If you are very angry then get angry, if you want to blame yourself then blame yourself, after all, this is a long pent up emotion that needs to be released constantly. So how does this relate to your mom wanting you to be outgoing and you pretending to be the outgoing kid? Because your mom will have a lot of demands on you, and you'll want to meet her demands even if you can't, so you'll have a lot of high demands on yourself that you can't meet as well. Because you want so much to satisfy your mom, to get her approval, but you always fail to meet the requirements, always do not get your mom's approval, what does this mean to you? It means that you don't have what it takes to satisfy her. And why do you have to make your mom or someone else approve of you, because you can't accept the one who can't satisfy your mom, the one who is a disappointment. This is the first explanation for satisfying others, maybe you don't feel this layer right now, but that's okay, go further. The second one for satisfying others is what was mentioned before, what happens if there's a conflict and they're not happy and you're not making them happy, you're not satisfying them? What are you fearing? It requires you to be aware. Because there are no details of specific events, so it is not good to give advice, I hope that the next time you ask a question you can cite a specific thing, including your thoughts your words, so that you can respond to your thinking ~ but still can suggest that you have to care about caring for yourself, caring for your body, caring for your own emotions, do not repress and negate their own emotions, you can learn how to get along with the emotions, because emotions are the place where you and your own You have to be warm to yourself before you can be warm to others~ I hope the answer can help you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there ~ I understand your feelings very well, hugs to you ~ this kind of change, or inner conflict is a relatively normal phenomenon in my opinion. In the process of personal growth, we will all undergo some changes, as long as these changes are within an acceptable range, there is no need to worry too much, and there is no need to think of deliberately changing yourself. As for your feelings now, you feel more moderate on the one hand, and less impulsive in your academic work on the other. Gradual moderation is a good growth process, because you can now objectively look at a lot of things that originally made you feel angry, but of course, a side effect of too much moderation may be that the sense of boundaries will be weakened or hidden. Try to be aware of these moments and adjust appropriately. It's normal to be less impulsive, perhaps you need to rethink your goals and plans. On the other hand, there is a tendency to avoid conflicts and keep a sense of distance from people. It's not surprising that avoiding conflicts is a human instinct. Maybe you need to learn to express yourself appropriately and be firm. A sense of distance from each other allows you to live within a safer distance, a distance that is okay as long as it doesn't interfere with your normal socializing activities. Good luck ~.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, reading your words makes me think of several former classmates, both male and female, who have similar characteristics to yours. But let me say your characteristics, and afraid to say, afraid to say it is not right at all. Because what you show is what you have modified and want to show to others, while the real character and true thoughts may be opposite or have nothing to do with it at all. This is really your defense, your armor, your mask. Behind these defenses, what kind of person you are trying to protect, whether it's a little tiny girl or a brown man, that's something only you know. Your words, very rich, very spiritual, feel like a February kitten will be pampered will make trouble, and then gradually grow up into a cat was sterilized, nothing care, can not beat the spirit, let others how to tease, are a state of mind like death. There must have been some things that happened here that were not dealt with properly, like a knife castrating a part of your original innocence. Back to your question. How to face the choice, in the critical period of personality, that is, your current period, everything is about to take shape but not yet fully into the society to set the type, may encounter a variety of challenges to the outlook on life, values, worldview. In dealing with the impact of these three views, the way we respond, the way we defend ourselves, the way we value, affects personality. But some values are actually largely set in stone, for example, family values, self-esteem, but no matter what, there will always be various challenges. How to choose, that is the self, some people like to be new, even if ugly, but also to say that they are the ugliest, even if bad, but also to say that they are the worst, in fact, there are objective evaluation. Believe in yourself, even if there are all kinds of social less than ideal, low self-esteem, but still can believe in their own mind, believe in their own judgment, believe in their own ability to deal with, believe in their own efforts will not be in vain, believe that they can live into their own desired appearance. Not for a while, but we keep working for it. I can't say for sure if any of this fits your question, but by being positive, righteous, and selectively fraternal, light, rejecting the attraction of the dark side, arming yourself with knowledge, and feeding your personality with love, you don't have to fear the darkness and resistance that lies ahead, and live a little bit more solidly by living by your own efforts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your account. Such a troubled upbringing is a good thing for you. It's a characteristic of a healthier human mental state to develop a bit of ambivalence. Especially when one is growing up in oneself. All face such confusion. As a bystander, I see certain transformations in you, such as you become more mentally mature and rational, but equally you see that your own impulsiveness fades and weakens. In the process of growth, some of the original image and your growth and transformation will form a contradiction, and then the heart will be a bit uncomfortable, confusion will arise. My personal advice is to let the bullets fly a little longer, do not give yourself a conclusion too early, because to give yourself a statement idea, a definition or conclusion is equivalent to their own self-limitations, especially in the head of the role of their own identification, for example, like your self-description of the same, you think you are a kind of person, quiet and lively is a kind of cognition of your self-limitations. This perception is kind of a self-protection, self-identification mechanism. Without getting into that, you just need to tell yourself, I know the state I'm in now. Your subconscious mind will self-regulate. And you will keep trying to adjust yourself. Until a new state of equilibrium emerges. The process of growth in itself is not a process of getting comfortable, it's a process of breaking out of your comfort zone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13654
       },
       {
        "question": "Everything's gone to hell and back, and Dad's gone crazy?",
        "description": "Yesterday, because of a few misunderstandings, really misunderstandings, my father suddenly stormed out, yanked me by my hair and hammered my hair hard, which he never does. This is the kind of thing that only someone who is a bigot at heart and even violent would do, and I am his own daughter, and at that moment I even saw the desire to kill me in his eyes. Then I was about to leave the house with my jacket on, he said go ah go ah on one side, and he was heckling on the other side, but when my mother stopped me, he suddenly grabbed my cell phone, and as soon as I threw it on the couch, I was about to walk away, lol, and he kicked me in the stomach. It was on my stomach, it was spot on, I fell straight back on the couch, crying and went to get my cell phone to call the police, at that moment I felt like I might die. My dad is crazy, he never would have been before but he has gone crazy in recent years, I was crying and telling the police my address and he came back over and yanked my hair hard and snatched the phone out of my hand and turned around but calmly and unusually talking to the police. Then the police arrived and he was very well behaved the whole time, exceptionally calm and understanding, and the police asked me to forgive him, saying that a tiger is a tiger, and that in the end everyone was fine and I was the only one who was hurt, and I was the only one who knew what I was going through, and the guys were still begging me for forgiveness and calling me callous.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Family Relationships, Family Health",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Thank you very much for your trust in me and I'm glad to be willing to answer your questions. First of all, I apologize for being very busy lately, and I didn't have time to answer the user's question on the stage in time. Secondly, I read your description of the problem, and I can deeply feel your powerlessness, helplessness, pain and sadness. It seems or rather this father's behavior makes you very desperate. I don't know how old you are now. Because there's a lot of this relational aspect to it. There's also a lot of this pattern of interaction that you've had before. Anyway would be very curious about this approach and behavior of his. In fact, I would also like to know why he can do this kind of almost crazy crazy behavior to his daughter. Of course, it seems that the other person may also have some obstacles and deficits in the area of emotional management and control. You can also try to do some individual counseling to touch on the relationship with the father in the early years.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to you and can imagine the fear and shock you are going through and how devastated you should be. Looking at your description, your dad seems to be in an unusual state of passion, like he's been in a major shock. This is difficult for you to anticipate and understand. If you are still in a state of grief at the moment, it may be because you have only claimed and viewed him as a father, and you have crusaded endlessly against him and those who have stood in solidarity with him with your injuries, and haven't been able to see him as someone outside the role of a father, who is just like you, who has his own desires and fears, and his own needs and limitations. The above is not to excuse your father, and you don't necessarily have to forgive him right away. It's just that it is what it is, and even though it's what it is, you still have a choice as to what state you allow yourself to continue in.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1220
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I keep my parents from controlling me when I've had enough of being forced into marriage?",
        "description": "I was adopted by my foster parents, who have controlled me for the past thirty years, growing up with her beatings, timid and low self-esteem. I suspect they are incapable of love, enough is enough. This year I have been living in fear, why can't I have the final say in my life, my parents have to arrange everything for me, I have already had one failed marriage due to being forced by them, and it's hard to escape from the misery, but they are forcing me to meet a blind date that they arranged for me.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, parental communication, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, hugs to you for your suffering. I've been through this, the experience is exactly the same, only the birth is different, my parents are biological and I'm the only child. But the way you treat your children is exactly the same. From the few details you mentioned, I can say with certainty that your adoptive parents really love you and have raised you as their own. Of course, the way used is not necessarily our favorite and welcome, now you can't understand, it's okay, it takes time and experience, through understanding to slowly understand your parents. You are right that they do not have the ability to love, do not know how to take into account your feelings, do not know how to educate and so on, we must realize that in the past, when the information is not developed, there are indeed many limitations, we can try to understand the situation, and then go to the objective evaluation. Don't be swayed by emotions. First of all, they forced the marriage. It's true that only true parents would force a marriage, only parents who are anxious to care, only parents who really love their children would do such a thing, it's true. Second, they control. Because they are worried about their old age without support, afraid that you can not help refused to help them in old age, they are afraid of old age after the disease is very painful life can not take care of their own young people enough manpower to be able to help, afraid of death, so they will grow up asking the child to be good, anxiety, gradually become control, which is also often loved by the biological parents to do things. Again, they scold. Think scolding education is good for the child, the same reason as above, because they grew up their parents grandparents are the same way to treat them, they learned from the previous generation of the traditional backward way of education. After scolding and criticizing, they accidentally cause the disadvantages of low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and also make you live in fear, which is really not their original intention, because they have not learned and do not understand other ways of education. Finally, they do it all and organize everything for you. Also holding you in their hands and grasping you, afraid that you will be hurt again, protecting you, not daring to let go, wanting to arrange for you again, because you \"\"already had a marriage that failed because of being forced by them, and it was not easy for me to escape from the misery, and then they want to force me to meet the blind date that they arranged for me. \"\"So they know that they were wrong before, they feel that they have already wronged you last time, feel guilty, and hope that this time they can have a chance to make it up to you. If you want your parents to worry less about you, the first thing you need to do is show that you're mature enough to handle things on your own and put them at ease. There is also to reassure them, so that they firmly believe that, whether you find a partner, married or not, later there are enough manpower enough patience and kindness to carefully and patiently and carefully take care of them when they are old and sick, in order to relieve them of old age anxiety, they will slowly let go of the control of you In fact, what we need, and never to reconcile with the family of origin, we need to be responsible for their own status quo. Take responsibility for our work, our wealth, our personality, our loneliness, our pain, our less-than-ideal, our one-dimensional relationships. We need to think: how have I been affected and what can I do for my present self. When you can take responsibility for your present self, you become an equal adult as your parents. You have just as much of each other's hardships, helplessness, and lack of words. You don't need them as much anymore, and reconciliation is a natural outcome. At this point your parents still haven't changed anything, and you change just fine. Your parents still control you. But it's not just your parents who control you. When you learn how to deal with other people's control, you will learn how to deal with your parents' control.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description. Your parents are more controlling and have deprived you of your self-autonomy. It is not your fault, you are the victim of control. In front of your parents' strong desire for control, you can do nothing but give in. Your parents' over-control is a way of pouring all their [love] into you to satisfy their inner attachment. Perhaps the parents love you so much that they are afraid of losing you and want to keep you under their control so that they can feel secure, otherwise they are filled with a sense of loss. They love you in a way that is unacceptable to you, making you lose yourself and become a tool to fulfill their desires. In fact, the love of both adoptive and biological parents is the same, only the way they express it is different. The problem is that you can't change your parents' years-long desire for control; you can only change your attitude toward this pattern of behavior. Learn to be your own master, learn to live your life and do what you want to do when you can't get out of control.",
          "has_label": true,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, I understand your feelings of love, but do not agree with you that they do not love you, if they do not love you, how to raise you so big, for the adoptive parents of the grace of nurturing we should be grateful. Because of their persecution led to the failure of your marriage once, and now they think you are good to give you a blind date, although this way to make you very disgusting, but it is all out of love. You can communicate with your family if you have a difference of opinion, and if the communication doesn't work, you should show gratitude and solve the problem in the way you feel is right. Instead of complaining. Are failed marriages all because of adoptive parents? Have you ever reflected on this? Is there nothing wrong with you at all? When you pick on others' faults again, look at your own first. I hope you can properly communicate with your parents to solve the problem. I also hope that you will treat your adoptive parents with gratitude instead of resentment.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't think it's love, in my last marriage, once I was very sick, so sick that I couldn't eat, couldn't get up, my parents didn't have a word of warmth when they learned about it, not to mention coming to see me, is it love, even if you don't care about your dead or alive, can it still be considered love, maybe other people's experience is not the same as mine, there is no such thing in the world as empathy, my experience is indifference, desperation... ....",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7854
       },
       {
        "question": "So much like being alone, I wonder if everyone is lonely?",
        "description": "I'm too much like a person, my upbringing how to say, my parents give me material okay, but other I can never stand, I'm not like other people like pampered feel parents do not buy me something on the angry, I'm very easy-going, they call me to do what I do, rarely to them to take the initiative to ask for things, but they are very like guessing and fantasy, their mind my person and the reality is the two, every fight I communicate with them, they either think I'm an excuse or think I'm backing down, or compromise, but also not. Every time I have a fight I communicate with them, they either think I'm making excuses or I'm talking back. I can't even retreat or enter, and I can't even compromise. I'm too lazy to take care of the fights now, and I've become uninterested in everything. I really hate it when there are many people around me, not out of any low self-esteem, but when I really need to be on the field I can always do well, but it's just a matter of coping with the situation. The only thing I look forward to every day is to be alone in the room at night, really more and more like to be alone, go out and play with friends and then happy after time I'm bored, I'm not depressed, in front of my classmates I'm still very happy, just compared to this kind of occasions, I prefer an impervious to the light there is a net small room, alone, I'm not playing the game, the TV dramas do not watch it, jitterbug brush more than I'd be annoyed, I'm alone I'm really I'm a bit lost.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, after reading your account, I actually envy you. You have found a state of your own enjoyment, which many people can not do [about a person] in fact, whether it is a person or a group of people, to find their own comfortable state is the most important. When I was young, I was introverted and didn't dare to communicate too much with others, preferring to be alone. But my parents kept telling me that it was better to be outgoing, to make more friends, and that more friends made for a better road, and compared me to my more active brother. So I tried to force myself to fit in, but in fact, I got tired of catering to my classmates, and I attracted a lot of dislike because of my eagerness to get ahead. Therefore, it is very important to clarify what kind of state you really want from the subject's description, the subject's social aspects are actually not serious problems - with parents in addition to some communication barriers are still relatively amicable, and you have friends around you can go out to play together. Everyone's personality is different, and lifestyles vary greatly, but as long as they don't interfere with daily life, they are all normal [Communication with parents] The subject has problems communicating with her parents. The subject says that the material life given by his parents when he was a child was OK, but what about the spiritual communication? If there is a lack of spiritual communication when you were a child, you should be more patient and communicate with your parents about small things first. For example, the subject said that he seldom asked his parents to take the initiative, you can tell your parents a small, real needs, such as buying a pair of shoes that you have wanted for a long time, but also should understand that quarrels are also a way of communication. You can understand what your parents care about from the argument, so you can show them what you think. If they don't accept it at first, it may be because they don't believe you. At this time, you should use specific actions to show your true heart [on the pastime] from the subject of the narrative can be seen in the subject is now in an irritable mood, some confusion. You can cultivate some hobbies to get rid of it, such as meditation, learn a musical instrument. In addition, writing a diary can also help to ease the negative emotions and finally hug the subject, I hope the subject can be happy, optimistic about the future!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12456
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know what I'm asking, but I need help.",
        "description": "I'm an 18-year-old female student, more than eight years, it has endured a lot, campus violence, ah, ostracized ah, junior high school suspension, resulting in the state of the whole person is even worse, carry a knife habit, until now have not changed, will not feel safe, now in high school, often want to do a lot of aggressive behavior, for example, snatch the teacher's phone broken thrown away, holding a knife intentionally allow others to hurt themselves, or, the dormitory classmates things secretly thrown away, while she sleeps to cut her hair, often sitting alone in bed, no one to talk to me can be a whole day word, insomnia has also been several years. Dormitory classmates things secretly thrown away, while she sleeps to cut her hair, often a person sitting on the bed in a daze, no one to talk to me can be a whole day without saying a word, insomnia has several years, the normal way to fall asleep can not sleep at all, every time is to think of some of their own very abusive drama until their own death or unconsciousness of the drama in order to fall asleep, fall asleep, in the sleep of the people chased and killed, recently I dreamt that I got someone dead, and then their ghosts came and wanted to take me with them, I sometimes wake up crying, academic pressure, often in the classroom suddenly broke down, recently better, the mood is calm, but the hand shaking more powerful, often confused, and even often think of some very sick and bloody experiments, a few months ago, also want to eat sleeping pills to commit suicide, I don't know what I should do, can you help me! Can you help me? Please, I need it.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, somatic reactions, psychological crisis, behavioral disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm sure you've experienced pain that is unimaginable to others, so much so that you are now resistant and fearful of the entire world. During the break from school you may feel unspeakably helpless and lonely, hiding seems to be the safest way, and gradually you don't know how to express yourself with the outside world, or how to cope with the emotions that others throw at you, even if they are well-intentioned. I feel as if your world is gradually becoming more and more out of control and broken. Sudden emotions and thoughts of hurting yourself scare you. There is no security, no trust. Even in your dreams, this helplessness and despair is chasing you, and sometimes you think about giving up, surrendering to it all, as if it's useless to resist. But I also believe that you must have another force supporting you in places you don't know. That's why you've come for help, right? Your out-of-control behaviors and emotions are actually sending distress signals to those around you, perhaps weakly, perhaps hard to understand, but they are being seen. Think back to a time when you've seen pale leaves, experienced the feeling of being loved, and felt an indescribable wave of warmth caused by deliciously stimulated taste buds. You've also experienced the clarity and restfulness that comes from stimulation other than pain, haven't you? Speak your pain out, to a friend, a loved one, a counselor. Not even to seek understanding, just to give yourself a chance to vent, a chance to be heard. Try again, can't you?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello little girl. Hugs to you. 18 is remembered in my memory as a particularly beautiful, sunny age. Everything was full of anticipation, the future was promising... In your question I sense fear, helplessness, a feeling that you are asking me for help, yes? May I ask you, was there violence in your family? Why did you have more than 8 years of school violence? Did you communicate with your parents at home? Did you communicate with your teachers at school? Did you get understanding from your family and teachers? I also had a school violence once, when my teacher thought that I had become bad and was not a good kid with good character. I was bullied by others and I saw the teachers' disappointed eyes and felt so aggrieved and helpless. Like they were all going to abandon me. You used to fantasize about some particularly abusive things before you could fall asleep, but after you fell asleep those people you fantasized about being abusive would come back to you, making your spirit suffer twice as much. After a long time, not only your spirit can't take it, not to mention you have to go to school and have a lot of pressure. This double pressure will make you more tired ...... (hug you) I feel very sorry for you. A girl to bear so much heartache. I mind if you go to a professional psychological institution for counseling and seek help. I wish you a promising future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 595
       },
       {
        "question": "How do I deal with my husband's short temper and grumpy personality?",
        "description": "My husband is 57 years old. Married so far has been anxious, short-tempered, straight-talking, no matter some words can not say to the side, he does not care to say out, because of these affect the relationship and promotion he does not care. Despite being married for 31 years, I have never been able to deal with him, and I am bitter and don't know how to deal with him.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner's husband may be a choleric temperament type. It has had an impact on life and work and has not changed at all over the years. Just as there are no good or bad temperament types, all have their own strengths and weaknesses. The owner may have only seen the bad side. Think about the good things about your husband and the things that have touched you over the years. Perhaps the anxiety and dissatisfaction triggered by the owner has also had an impact on the expression and maintenance of the emotional relationship. We need to see more good in each other, more to recognize, when appropriate, put forward their own needs and views, the other party may be easier to accept and accept Oh! We have to accept the side of the real him! To level their own mind, to do positive and effective communication. Respect each other and accept differences! As much as possible to the people around you can be more understanding, tolerance and empathy. So many years, surely you have their own tacit understanding, may be our own first relaxed, is not faced with the problem is not so difficult it.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11366
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I can't eat or sleep well because of something on my mind?",
        "description": "When you have something on your mind, whether it's something happy or something sad, you don't sleep well at night, and you can't eat during the day, and you get full easily. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I can tell from your words that this is really bothering you. Some people are born this way, they are more sensitive when it comes to certain things. I'm just the opposite when it comes to eating. When I'm happy, I feel like I need to eat to celebrate, and when I have something on my mind, I feel like I need to eat to make up for myself, which leads to my weight skyrocketing. I envy your kind. Eat something whether you are happy or not, just don't be hungry. But I have the same sleeping problem as you, I keep thinking when I am a bit excited or unhappy. I wonder if you don't get enough sleep will you be less energized the next day? If it's an occasional problem, it's good to catch up on your sleep. If you don't get enough sleep for a long period of time, it really affects your mood and your mind will easily collapse. I suggest you relax your mind, listen to soft music and go to sleep naturally. The more nervous you are about not being able to sleep, the more you really can't sleep. In fact, eating, not eating, sleeping or not sleeping mainly depends on the body, don't want to eat, don't want to sleep when it's okay. Listen to the body's signal on the good, wait until really want to eat want to sleep when you can Oh. You don't have to feel hurt or anything, it's okay if you don't do it often. The main thing is to have a good mindset, the body will naturally be healthy, and other things will be solved.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, from your narrative, things whether happy or sad, will affect sleep, feel your distress and helplessness. Poor quality of sleep happens to almost everyone. When things happen, no matter what kind of things, you will not be able to sleep well or eat well. This shows that you attach great importance to every thing that happens, develops, and deals with the result, and also want to solve it well, and are a person who does things reassuringly. Psychologically speaking, this is a kind of anxiety. Anxiety is divided into state of mind, passion, and stress, and your symptoms should belong to state of mind, which means that it is a weak, calm, and persistent emotional state. But it is diffuse and long-lasting. You encounter things, in fact, happy and sad will affect your mood, which led to a bad diet, sleep, your constitution belongs to the sensitive body, easily agitated when things happen, that is, what the common people say, the heart does not flourish. Without good rest, there is no vigorous energy. If you encounter this situation, we do not have to worry, to recognize the nature and meaning of things, try to go out, find girlfriends to chat, or to have a trip. Every day to write their happy sad to the diary, writing can be ...... or do meditation exercises, is their mind quiet down. When things come up, there is always a solution. So many things, are not so bad to handle as we think, we think too much. We believe in ourselves that there are always more solutions than difficulties. Just be brave enough to face it and recognize it, and everything will be better. I hope you're eating and sleeping well and having a good day \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "My guess: \u2460 Could it be that you have too much energy, so first divert your attention and do something you liked at first gradually disliked, maybe when your energy is pretty much depleted, you'll feel sleepy. \u2461 Could it be caused by your lack of punctuality, are you putting too much time into something that keeps you excited. And the phenomenon of the original plan being pushed back causes you to be psychologically unbalanced and intentionally prolong your time, resulting in a deviation of your biological clock. \u2462 Encountering unhappy things may make you obsessed; encountering happy things may make you excited. Maybe shift your attention on other things you liked at first but gradually disliked, and you'll be sleepy when your energy is almost depleted.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, understand how you feel right now, with a little thing in your heart, you will be anxious or overexcited, so you can't eat or sleep well. My heart goes out to you, so sensitive, relax, try to see if you can let go of your tense muscles, take a deep breath, the world and I love you. Some people say that you take the brain is best as a runner, not as a memory, we will always happen a lot of things, but can not remember all the things, there will be some will forget. And the brain sometimes keeps reinforcing the memories and making the brain circuits deeper in order to prevent forgetting things that you think are important, so these things that make you sleepy must be things that matter. You see, so that your brain gets tired, can't we use an alternative way of recording, like a notebook, a cell phone to record these things that you care about, and writing them down is in itself a kind of confiding and releasing. Then your brain will empty some, release some space, the pressure will be less, these things you care about did not disappear, but a place to save, stored when you want to naturally see his. Then, I suggest that you can use some meditation to ease the inner anxiety, you can download a heart of meditation software, follow the music and then find your inner peace, in the breath to find the inner balance, when your body soothes and relaxes, then your sleep and eat will be better. Or you can watch a variety show, or you can go shopping and run and exercise. Anyway, fill up those spaces you have free with other more interesting things, then you will be free from these annoying brains. Good luck, start a new life, a good life is waiting for you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10529
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do people need to be loved?",
        "description": "People have food, clothes, games, and sex. Why bother to crave affection?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "No matter how rational and strong you look on the outside, every human being is vulnerable and has a longing for love. We long for warm embrace and serious attention. Our pursuit of status, fame and material things can be extended indefinitely, and all our efforts are just to get more and warmer embraces and more and more serious attention.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10114
       },
       {
        "question": "How does a 17 year old middle school student, commit suicide so no one can find him?",
        "description": "I used to be cheerful, heartless, do everything very positive, the last two years every night can not easily sleep, lying in bed, do not want to do anything, always feel that life is not meaningful heart feel very depressed, feel that they are a waste of money, do not do anything well, feel that they have no meaning of survival, always thinking of self-abuse!",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-abuse, laziness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject our thoughts, feelings, behavior are in fact each other, promote each other, forming a one by one loop, there are positive loop, there are also negative loop. In the past, if you are cheerful and have a good mental state, you will do things positively, and doing things positively will bring you a lot of positive feelings, prompting you to be more positive and proactive. In this way, a positive cycle is formed. Now you, on the other hand, are stuck in a negative loop. Insomnia, feeling bad, don't want to do anything, and the more you don't do anything, the more disheveled you are, the more negative feelings you may have, the more you feel as if you are useless, a waste, and such self-assessment, negative feelings, will lead to you not wanting to move even more. A vicious circle is formed between your feelings, thoughts and behavior. You, right now, need to break this negative cycle and buy into the positive one. You can start with thoughts, feelings and actions. In terms of thoughts, you can question these negative thoughts about yourself, negate them, see what you are doing well, see your strengths, and form an objective, positive self-evaluation. Feelings and actions, although you do not want to do anything, but still can do something as much as possible, even if it is a small, small thing, do something fulfilling, sense of accomplishment, will make you feel different, drag you out of the negative emotional state. So, instead of thinking and denying yourself, why don't you take action and do something as much as you can, starting with something you like, something small, slowly, slowly, slowly, so that you are not as good as in the positive circle. Maybe one day, the old you, can come back again! Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17471
       },
       {
        "question": "A 19 year old girl, for the last two years, always has sudden pain and sadness from time to time?",
        "description": "It's only in the last six months that I've become more aware of this problem, and I've been torturing myself because of some painful things, and although I'm in a lot of pain, the more I want to get into it and not come out, and I often start to blame myself for no reason, and cry, especially during exams when I'm even more psychologically active, and I think of sad things, and then I cry, and I keep on magnifying the pain of some trivial things. I don't know if this is a sign of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), but I can't help it because I'm in a state of mind where I can't control myself.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject. It's hard to see you in such a state. I guess you must be of a certain age, probably in high school and under too much academic pressure, or maybe it's related to interpersonal pressure. I'll give you some advice: don't be paranoid. There must be some triggers for a momentary upset, and even if you don't realize what they are, your subconscious must have caught them. The long-term accumulation of negative emotions is probably caused by the inability to find this trigger, and your brain is very eager to find this reason, it will be stuck in a dead cycle. So don't be paranoid, don't be obsessed with trying to understand why I'm sad. If you're sad, you're sad, everyone is sad at times, it's nothing. Find a way to get over it that works for you. Indulge in a cry, a single song cycle of your favorite song, boxing, find a long hill to ride a bike, enjoy the feeling of the downhill ...... All negative emotions need an outlet, so that it can be cathartic. Seek professional help. Speak to a psychiatrist about your complaints, or speak to a psychologist at school to get help.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "~~ You said that in the last two years you had sudden pain from time to time, did something special happen? Look at your description of your own pain, if your situation is persistent suggest that you go to the hospital to do a checkup to listen to the doctor's advice, or find a suitable counselor for you, should be able to better help you hope my answer can help you may peace.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12511
       },
       {
        "question": "Serious cuckold plot? Don't know how to tell my wife.",
        "description": "Teacher Hello, my problem is that I have a serious cuckold plot really now more and more troublesome, now more and more serious, and do not know how to say with his wife, his wife to meet me, I now every day let his wife called me wangzhi wife called me wangzhi I called very comfortable, how do I say with his wife wife wife to meet me",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Management, Sexuality",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject: I wonder what you want to tell your wife for? Let your wife help you realize, or that is just a sexual fantasy? Sexual fantasies are for the purpose of enhancing your relationship. If it's for the realization of monogamy, that does seem to require the wife's cooperation to make it work. If the wife is unwilling, would you want to live with someone else who is willing? If the wife is willing, I wonder if you are ready to be able to accept your wife liking someone else and being intimate with someone else? Or even that you might end up being the outsider. I wonder if you've thought about the above possible outcomes and if you're ready to accept them?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ ~ from the description can be understood 1. the owner has a serious cuckold plot, hope that his wife can meet their own hobbies 2. don't know how to say to his wife that he has this hobby, every day to let his wife shout their own bastard [a little bit of analysis and advice] 1. similar to cuckold hobby such a niche of private ideas, if there is no damage to other people's interests, it is in a small range of allowable, but if the wife doesn't like this kind of thing and marriage ideas and not consistent, then the owner had better not try to let the wife meet their own hobbies. 2. But if the owner's wife does not like this kind of thing, for the idea of marriage and the owner is not consistent, then the owner had better not try to let his wife meet their own hobby, because your hobby of the wife's own interests caused damage.2. If you are willing to go to do psychological counseling, a deep inquiry into the owner's own reasons for the emergence of such a hobby, and to do some corrective and therapeutic. If not, you can also choose some alternative to meet, such as watching related movies and novels and other works to meet their own ideas. I hope to help the owner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I also think this way, we such people are destined to a bumpy life, can not be understood, I because of this problem has been divorced, the ex-wife on the one hand think that I do not love her, on the other hand is to play on the addiction, ran away with someone else, and now I'm married for the second time, or the same can not be quitted, the current can not stand me this idea, barely played two times, I estimate that this is also the block dumped me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11461
       },
       {
        "question": "What do you do when you want to learn a lot and the results are unsatisfactory causing frustration?",
        "description": "I gave myself a lot of study tasks before and started to be very motivated, but now I only feel frustrated and can't learn anything new or have enough perseverance to keep studying. What can I do to regain my motivation to study without feeling frustrated?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work-study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject. After reading the description of the subject, I understand very well the current confusion of the subject and give the subject a hug. I've encountered this problem before. There was a time when I wanted to learn everything, but in the end I didn't learn anything, and the courses I bought before, I either gave up half of them or never listened to them. The more I didn't study the more anxious and frustrated I became. In my mind, I always think, \"Other people can do it, why can't I do it? I am really too poor compared to them. The more I thought about it, the more anxious I became, which directly led me to give up studying for a long time, and pick up the bad habit of swiping videos and playing with my cell phone again. Then suddenly one day, I think this state of life is too bad, I want to study again. Next, I will share a few small methods with the subject. \u2460 Focus. We have too many goals and want to learn too many things, it will distract our attention. Trying to learn this and that at the same time, we end up not being able to learn this or that. We can focus on learning one skill for a period of time. The more we concentrate and focus, the more we learn. \u2461 Appropriate relaxation. Focus on learning when you are studying and relaxing when you are relaxing. Don't always study with a tight string, but also have your own recreation and relaxation time. For example, tired of learning, you can give yourself a 10-minute time to brush the cell phone, time and then transferred to the learning state. This play in the middle, learning to play, but also easy to adhere to, will not give up in the middle. \u2462 Start with the smallest micro-goal every day. Learning itself is a kind of anti-human thing, need us very strong willpower, concentration and energy. If you set yourself too heavy a study task every day, it's easy to give up when you finish. If you don't finish it in a day or two, it will be hard to start again. So just start with one of the easiest ways. For example: if you want to read, then start by reading a page a day; if you want to exercise, then start by changing into sneakers ...... and slowly develop a habit. I hope my answer can help you a little bit, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 563
       },
       {
        "question": "I've been with my boyfriend for two years now, and he's constantly emotionally isolated, what should I do?",
        "description": "My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Started liking him because he was naive and more relaxed together. Then realized that every once in a while he would feel that I was too clingy to him and needed space and detached from me. He was born soon after his parents left for a foreign country, he was with his grandparents until he was three, and then he went abroad after he was three. His parents quarreled a lot and were not very good-tempered. I think he was verbally abused a lot when he was young and did not receive a lot of support, and he had low self-esteem due to discrimination and bullying by his classmates when he was abroad. I think he is very insecure and afraid of intimacy. He rarely had long lasting intimate relationships before me. Every time we fought, it was because of his willful detachment and my insecurity. Then I myself as a child was the type that lacked parental companionship, they were around but rarely responded verbally, my parents didn't have a great relationship and more often than not I saw and argued, so I would have a tendency to avoid some key communication. But at the same time I crave companionable intimacy. This is not quite in line with my boyfriend's needs, and I know that both people actually lack love, it just manifests itself in different ways. He likes to satisfy himself with some Maslow's basic bottom needs, and I am more focused on spiritual companionship. How do I go about communicating to open his heart?",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, just like you said you are both actually psychologically insecure and both have black holes that need to be filled. But you are trying to find a way for both of you to patch it up for each other. How can you give to each other what you don't have. So there needs to be a change of direction. You recognize the problem and are willing to look outside for help, then you can find your own way to have that part inside you, patch it up yourself, and then patch it up to him. It is recommended that you get help through professional counseling to fix the psychological aspect of your problem.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! Hugs~ Your last question is how to open his heart? So if he can't open it, do you still want to be with him? In intimate relationships, we all want intimacy, but everyone expresses it differently. For example, what you give is not what I want. I treat you so well, why can't you feel it? Why are you treating me badly when I'm treating you so well? If such doubts exist in your heart, or even your subconscious mind thinks so, then it is quite hard for two people to be together. I love you with all my heart, but I am not recognized. So, does he have any trait that makes him feel that he is a worthy choice to go through life even when he doesn't respond to you? Because it's impossible to find the perfect fit, balance his strengths and weaknesses so that you are reminded of those good things when he doesn't respond to you. I realize that everyone is different. But I did tolerate the love of my life and I was rewarded in the end. If he is worth it too, then if you give each other time, you may have a nice and peaceful life. It's about allowing him to be alone and giving him time space. If I don't like it when I initiate calls and tweets, I never do. Until he would be willing to come back and initiate with me. It's pretty exhausting at this point, and it feels like I'm tolerating a little princess. But the reward is good. At least I felt it was worth it. Also, you are allowed to express your needs honestly. For example, wanting him to stay with you. When he's not around, you ramble on. It's not that you actually think he's bad, but you're so sad that you need company. Dissect your heart appropriately so he can see it. Boys are not very good at guessing what girls are thinking. If you can't say it outright, then he may not get it oh~ At the same time, don't criticize him, don't judge him, just say how you feel when he does it. Protect his self-esteem and respect his needs. Well, if he deserves it, he won't miss you like that. People for people, it will be okay in the end. This process will be hard for you and I hope it gives you support. Go for it, sweetie. The richness of your heart and the ability to be keenly aware of it will pay off, good luck \ud83e\udd1e.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, a warm hug to you, I'm glad you've come to this realization and decision, Phil feels that you can find a time when you both have time and are relaxed to have a \"long talk\", the gap between intimacy can grow with incomprehension and lack of communication, and you're not there yet, which means that the communication is still valid, and I don't know if you've already decided, but from your description you're going to give in a bit to come up with a solution that works for both of you. Communication is still valid, and I don't know if you've already decided, but your description suggests that you're going to give in a little to come up with a solution that works for both of you. If so, Phil would like to point out that there is no such thing as \"giving in\" in a relationship, and that the consequences of one person backing down can be uncontrollable. Hand in hand, and you also on both sides of the family of origin in this area more understanding, but also have a certain psychological basis or check a similar case of a kind, then Phil suggests that you can try to communicate or some of the methods you like to establish a deeper connection between you, or more observation of each other's lives, such as your boyfriend when he will do this kind of thing, there is no specific pattern, time, or trigger premise, if there is, then it is a good idea to do it. Or is the trigger premise, if there is, then start from here, and the other side that you are a little sticky need free space, this time the so-called \"sticky\" you do what point? Is it an ordinary routine that the other person can't accept? Or are you really clingy when you don't realize it, so that the other person can't breathe? In this kind of mutual exploration process, we gradually discover the motives behind the current behavior, and then find the hidden reasons or solutions, which is a kind of growth for both of you. However, it is important to note that Phil does not know what kind of person your boyfriend is, so whatever you intend to do, remember not to push too hard in the beginning, so as to avoid uncontrollable events or things that can not be undone. Finally, I hope my answer can help you (\u30fb\u03c9\u30fb)\u30ce\u3002",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8026
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I avoid being hurt by strong people when I'm a person who can't say no?",
        "description": "There are coworkers around, very strong, encounter some things always arbitrary domination of others, and they are a person who will not reject people, so it is very painful. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Coworkers, Social Adjustment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Gnosis Analysis: 1. Hugs to you, cutie. I can understand your pain because I used to be a person who could not reject others.2. Because I could not reject others, I was hurt a lot, especially by strong people. So I deeply understand you. 3, know that you will not refuse, but do not change, then can only continue to suffer. Character determines destiny, character does not change, the fate will not change. 4, the weak and the strong, not only is the law of the jungle, but also the law of society, the weak are bullied, the strong to be able to protect themselves. We, as a nation, have suffered a lot of bullying in recent times.5. Only by changing and making yourself strong can your character change. Your situation can be changed.6. Reject if you want to, don't reject if you don't want to. Do what you want to do, it's not that hard, really. Reject someone once and realize that it's no big deal.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, so in your normal life, it is easy to be dominated by some strong people, which makes you feel very painful and troublesome. In our life, surely we will come across such things ah. Some people will ask you to do a favor, some people will want to ask you to do something, they are all looking out for their own interests. If the owner won't refuse and just do what they want, he or she may be condemning himself or herself to compromise his or her own interests. Learning to reject others is a very important thing for all of us. Rejecting others is not as hard as we think, when we don't want to do something, we can politely tell the other person that we have something else to do at that point in time. Learning to refuse others is also a sign of strength. Only if we respect ourselves and take care of our own feelings, others will respect us.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15055
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling like a roller coaster and suspecting you have bi-directional affective disorder?",
        "description": "It hasn't been a great time and it feels like a roller coaster. Sometimes very crazy, sometimes very lost. When I'm mad, my dorm mates say I'm crazy. When I was unhappy I wanted to scratch my arm.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-abuse, hypochondriac, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I hope it helps you two-way affective disorder, also known as bipolar disorder, which is a kind of manic or hypomanic episodes and depressive episodes of a class of mood disorders. Performance:Sometimes depressed mood, no interest in everything, lack of energy, pessimism and despair, etc., light manic episodes react quickly, sleep less, energetic, tireless, overeating, heart rate accelerated, attention can not be focused on the long-lasting, easy to influence, the general public is not easy to detect. Read your description carefully and say that it has not been a very good time and feels like a roller coaster. It's crazy and lost at times. Hug you, because there is not too much careful description, it is not good to make a judgment, if after that or the greater the feeling is not good, the heart is not comfortable, you can go to do a special psychological diagnosis, to help you make further judgments, in order to be able to better solve your confusion. \"Trying to scratch my arm when I'm unhappy\", but seeing this, it must be very sad to think that you might have encountered something very upsetting that makes you so unhappy that you have to hurt yourself. Such behavior is a bit extreme and it is advisable to seek professional help as soon as possible so that you can resolve the problem as quickly as possible, may you be happy ~ good luck ~ the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 742
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you not take the bull by the horns when you say you'll go with the flow and can't control your behavior?",
        "description": "How do you avoid taking the bull by the horns? Because today from morning to night review course a little tired, recently a little stress, plus a lot of negative news, a friend's cat is sick, a negative energy classmates complain every day, and then back to the dormitory on the purchase of Wanzai milk, I want to drink it, and then to go to the bathroom can not be found. I think the roommate hid it, asked twice but no result, although the mouth said let nature take its course, but I suddenly felt very devastated at that time, and has been in the brain cycle of this matter, I went to look for their own location many times but no. But also can not go through other people's things, but also can not go through other people's things. But I couldn't go through other people's stuff, I didn't want to make a joke that I couldn't joke about. But I can't control my behavior and I keep looking for it. I'm usually a little self-conscious and sensitive, and I don't know how to deal with this kind of thing.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Boy, hello! #How to avoid the bull's-eye? What does your title say about how to avoid taking the bull by the horns? It's about how the questioner might feel like they've been taking the bull by the horns, grasping at a small thing and not letting it go. & you're a bit tired from reviewing your courses in the morning and into the evening, & you've been under a bit of stress lately, & on top of that, you've had a lot of negative news, & your friend's cat is sick, & you've had a negative classmate complaining about you every day, & you've received a lot of negative influences during this period of time, along with the exertion of your studies, & you've already endured too much both physically and psychologically, & if you let just any small matter at this time make you explode emotionally. Let's say your Wanted milk is missing. I think your roommate hid it, and I've asked twice with no result. To be honest, it's all gone in a flash, and it's in the room, so I really can't think of how it could be gone, and at this time all of your emotions want to explode, and you even want to hit someone, and if it's possible, you want to be able to vent your emotions in all kinds of ways, and even though your mouth says to go with the flow, you're already pretty devastated at that time. You want to get your emotions out, hold them in and once they explode, it brings unimaginable consequences. And it will bring you more bad feelings. You can get it out by exercising, finding someone to talk to, or listening to music, or maybe crying, and not letting it get to you. #Keep cycling this thing inside your head is not this thing you have trouble wandering, but a lot of things you have not dealt with, so it leads to you do not have a better deal with this thing, you deal with the other things first, this thing is actually not so difficult to deal with, but it is a fuse, all your pressure to explode, and did not completely explode, because of your repression, so that you keep looking for so there you are The illusion of feeling like you're taking the bull by the horns. Come on, deal with the emotions first, you can do better, you deserve to be treated gently, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1130
       },
       {
        "question": "Starting your sophomore year of high school, your class has been split up and you're upset about having to face a new environment?",
        "description": "At the beginning of my sophomore year of high school, it was suddenly announced that my class had been split up and I was assigned to an unfamiliar class with unfamiliar teachers and classmates, and to an eight-room dormitory full of unfamiliar roommates and people who smoked cigarettes. Sophomore year is critical, but the mood is irritable, what to do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Emotional Intelligence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Subject! Through your description I think you are a person who is motivated, and at the same time will analyze the future as well as find out the concerns. This is a good thing, at least you are not a heartless person, and you have a heart for everything, so that you can cope with it when you face it. \u25cbBecause of the epidemic, some schools actually spend the entire first half of the semester in online classes. I don't know if that's the case for your school. Even if you went out and socialized a lot in the last few months, the beginning of a new semester can be overwhelming. The routine, the food, the habits, etc. And when you start a new semester, you'll be surrounded by a new group of students and a new teacher. So even though it's still a familiar campus, it's a brand new experience for you on campus. It is understandable that you will panic and feel anxious. People like familiar environments because they bring a sense of security; at the same time, they don't like change much because it means spending energy to form another habit; change means being uncontrollable. <<The subject please relax, your attitude towards a thing often influences or even determines the good or bad nature of that thing for you. This is something you cannot change. It would be better to accept him happily, save time for worrying and reduce mental internal conflict. The book \"Who Moved My Cheese\" conveys the idea of seeing every shift as an opportunity. When the shift comes, it may be a sign of what is to come, through the practice of telling your shortcomings and strengths, so that you understand the previously unknown neighborhood ...... \u25cb For example, you said that someone in the housemates smoked, I guess you think that the other side of the bad students, that he is not good to get along with, and that it may interfere with your studies, while there is a risk of being led astray. But people meet all kinds of people in their lives, and you can't control how good or bad the people you meet are. When we encounter difficulties, don't we start looking for ways to get around them, just as you are now anticipating some kind of difficulty to come here for help. I don't want to prejudge the character of the other person here, but if one day you encountered a thug, wouldn't you be thankful that you met a difficult and irascible roommate, and by finding a way to change, you acquired the tactics and the courage to deal with temporary thugs? Fear of loud noises, choosing not to stay in the dorm but to study in the classroom. If you don't like to get too close to your classmates who smoke, you can choose to keep your distance and draw boundaries within yourself. With good communication skills, you can get along with anyone, no matter what kind of person they are. It may be helpful for you to read \"Nonviolent Communication\". \u25cbSome students may not mind or even like the change of teacher, and some students are just the opposite. Maybe you're unhappy because your old teacher taught/was good to you/you adapted or learned in a way that suited your previous teacher's teaching style. The new teacher needed you to get used to it and you felt that the homework was already heavy. Things are dead and people are alive. Why don't you use your initiative to change your lesson pattern? For example, if you don't like your new teacher's nagging in class, do something else after you've made sure you've mastered what he's talking about. For example, listen and brush up, and then stop when you get to a new point. Maybe you don't want to part with your old friends, but at the same time, you feel shy about meeting new students because it's a process of getting to know them. However, whether it is a class or dormitory students, is an opportunity to meet new friends, perhaps some of them are the bully, or with you like-minded people, and they have a good relationship with them will help you. Every person you meet will change you in some way, and maybe you'll meet a character who changes you a lot, hopefully for the better. Keep your own dating guidelines and you can't go wrong by keeping your eyes peeled. Cheer up! Be brave and face your new life.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Hugs to you~ I also went through the sophomore year class split and can understand how you feel. Now the problem: 1. unfamiliar teachers and classmates I was in my sophomore year as well, the class is not very united, there will be cliques. Former friends separated. But this kind of mentality problem has to be adjusted by yourself. Many people can only accompany me for a period of time, in this period of time sincere relationship will be very happy. How to quickly adapt to the new environment?1. Take the initiative to join the chat of others. When others are talking and chatting, you should say something you know and are interested in.2. Treat people sincerely, be kind to them, laugh a lot, and take the initiative to help. This way you can make good friends.3. Sophomore study is very important, because it is a new teacher, so you have to adapt to the teacher's teaching methods as soon as possible. If you do not adapt, you can communicate with the teacher. If you have any problems, run to the office more often. 2. There is a smoking roommate, afraid of affecting their own Although he smokes, but not necessarily how his character. You first observe a period of time, do not make bad friends with him, just normal interaction. High school is mainly study, keep your heart is also very important. Good luck!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10707
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it normal to be in your 20s and feel confused about the future and change jobs often?",
        "description": "I've been working for two years, and I've been changing jobs frequently. I'm a bit low on confidence in myself, and my education isn't particularly impressive, so I can't get into my ideal job. I'm not sure if I'm a good person, but I'm a good person, and I'm not sure if I'm a good person, and I'm not sure if I'm a good person, and I'm not sure if I'm a good person.",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Choice Skills, Work Stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's talk directly from experience. I think your age is a time to keep exploring and experimenting with what jobs you like and are suited for. Changing jobs is fine, but changing jobs very frequently is something to be aware of. Of course, you need to define \"frequently\" here. In terms of the job market, many recruiters tell me that more than one year's experience counts as experience. The problem with frequent job changes: first, it may not look good on your resume because many interviewers will ask why you change jobs so often, and it may give the impression that you are unstable. Secondly, changing jobs frequently is not conducive to experience, especially across industries, and can be detrimental to your future career development. You can do a career assessment to see what kind of job you are suitable for; you can also choose the job you really like and are more satisfied with from the jobs you have been engaged in. In addition, I think you need to analyze why you change jobs so often? What are the reasons?",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "I'm glad to see you say that you have \"ideal job\", that you know your goal very well, since you feel \"a little lack of confidence in yourself, the education is not particularly bright\", then further close to their own goals can do some planning, according to their own The actual situation is gradual. For example, since you want to change your job, simply run towards your ideal job, if you can't reach your qualifications, you can at least change to your ideal job in the industry, and get started; at the age of 20, if you want to improve your qualifications, you will have enough time and energy, and as for the cost, you can arrange a certain percentage according to your current income, and you can also fight for your family's support. As long as you are willing to make yourself better, you will surely meet a lot of people who are willing to help you; after all, everyone wants the world to be a better place.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "First, for the ideal job from the future ideal job required ability to start sorting and dismantling, and then implement to the specific needs of the action, step by step backwards what you can do now. Second, about often change jobs first have to analyze the reasons for changing jobs, to understand what elements of the work you can accept, and what elements of the work you can not accept will certainly leave. First comb look.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10988
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does the tenderness of others make me want to cry?",
        "description": "It is strange that I am a person who is very easy to be sad, but when I have a conflict with others or when something happens, I will not cry, it is always the case that someone next to me asks \"Are you all right?\" and my tears will not be able to hold back the evil words of others, I will only feel bored and angry, and it is only the tenderness of others that makes me weak.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hiya ~ I understand your feelings very well, hugs to you ~ When we are unhappy, if someone is still criticizing us, it often makes us feel angry, frustrated, and possibly sadder. Similarly, when comforted we may feel better inside and possibly cry. Freud called the part of the subconscious that stores these vague, forgotten specifics, and considered this part to be chaotic, and Jung later gave this part \"personality\" to emphasize the dynamic nature of this part. When we cry when we hear comforting words, it may be because we feel that someone understands us and why we are sad, and we subconsciously think of these sad experiences, and because the other person is in a state of understanding, we let down our guard and cry. We feel a little more relaxed when we hear comforting, probably because subconsciously we feel recognized and understood, while not remembering the sad moments. So one way to look at it is to think that crying when comforted (aka treated gently) is essentially subconscious accumulated emotions looking for a way to vent. From a practical point of view, the reason we can grit our teeth and keep going for a long, long walk, but will sob at the sound of a comforting word is because being understood and accepted is a very powerful force. We are hungry for the approval of others and choose to be strong for the sake of our self-esteem. Just for your information. Good luck~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 22171
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I once liked someone and now realize that there was a misunderstanding?",
        "description": "High school had a crush on a boy but he did not know that we are just good friends high school when he was very good and then graduated some of his words and behavior so that I feel very cold that summer I did not pay attention to him a year later found that in the summer of graduation had sent me a message but I did not return it now seems that I still have not forgotten him from time to time still dream of him in the heart there are still feelings what should I do now? Who is right and who is wrong?",
        "keywords": "Love. Love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear subject, hello ah ~ ~ heart have him, then brave to recover him - and he put words to open, to talk about the past, then talk to have a knot in the heart of things. Take the initiative and end the knot in your heart - there is a unique answer to the test, and there is no unique answer to anything else. Just as a thing happens, the person concerned and outsiders treat this matter from different angles, part of the outsiders and the other part of the outsiders of the angle is not the same. Cognitive perspective is not the same, so, leading to the first intuition, is like this - treat the results of this matter, whether good or bad, normal heart. If you are together, cherish it. If you're not together, don't let this cause your life to go out of balance and you don't look like yourself. There are other guys out there besides him hope this helps.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to answer your question. First, here's a hug for you (\u3065\uff61\u25d5\u203f\u203f\u25d5\uff61)\u3065 From your analysis, actually both of you are not wrong, it's just that you have different perspectives on the issue. \ufe0fThere's a lack of communication between you two. Let me share this line that has deeply moved me: If the distance between us is a thousand steps, as long as you take the first step towards me, I will take the remaining 999 steps towards you... Misunderstandings between two people are something no one wants to see. \ufe0fBe brave and take the first step. Continuing this cold war between you is not a solution. Instead of constantly worrying about how to resolve this, it's better to be generous and courageously take your first step. Reach out to him, I believe you can reconcile and be as good as before.\ufe0f Boldly express yourself, if you have already determined that you still have feelings for him, then you can openly explain to him your intentions and attitude. Fate makes the world full of countless surprises and everything around us has its own fate, but fate is temporary, and happiness can only be achieved by ourselves.\ufe0f Seize the opportunity, be brave, after a fight, you might regret it for a while, but if you give up, you might regret it for a lifetime. Really... give it a try!!! Believe in yourself. Hope you accept this~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12390
       },
       {
        "question": "What can a sophomore woman do to become less intimidated? To be open-minded about new things?",
        "description": "Before I have to do every single thing I haven't touched, I have to check out the whole process ahead of time, or else I'll repeatedly think of very detailed things to annoy myself and lose sleep over it: for example, what to do when you go into a restaurant and don't know where to order and where to pay. It's similar to that. The last time I took the high speed train, I searched all matters on the internet and organized the whole process. When I described it I even gave the impression that I had already been there. I always want to be led by others. When I was a kid, I used to have my mom in front of me to help me ask my teachers questions. Nowadays I still want someone to lead me when I do new things, and having leadership friends with me allows me to avoid social conversations in order to do that. (I have a bit of an avoidance disorder where I feel ashamed of cowering and hiding behind others. So then I learned from my friends to take the initiative and stand in front. It's just that when I'm alone, I want to know everything ahead of time: fear of shame and being seen as a shrink. Since elementary school I seldom went out of the house, although there was a great desire to do so. Because my mom always wanted us to stay home and study during the holidays, not forbidden of course, it's just that I didn't seem to learn how to go out. I've blamed her and feel like the door to the house is right there but it's like a barrier and I can't get out. I hope you can help me release my anxiety and want to face these things and stop making them a thing, thank you!",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~ I hope my answer can bring you some help ~ From your description, you probably have the following problems: First, the fear of mistakes, a bit of perfectionism Second, the lack of independence Third, social fear, some inner closure Let's take a look at the first point, which may stem from your family education problems, think about it, whether from a young age your mother is a bit strict on your requirements, you are more constraints, do not You are not allowed to make mistakes? If yes, then this kind of education will affect your psychology, let you over-pursuit of perfection, everything requires you to do well, so in doing some of their own unfamiliar and not good at things before you will be afraid of their own mistakes, and therefore will produce anxiety, will go in advance to do a good job to prepare, of course, this habit is quite good, but excessive attention should be paid to how to alleviate this kind of anxiety? You need to do three positive psychological implication: first, allow yourself to make mistakes second, tell yourself to try third, learn to forgive yourself second point, you say you have an avoidant personality, the reason also stems from the family, since childhood, mom used to help you make decisions, there are things used to put you behind you to help you solve, over time you are used to the habit of being sheltered by other people, so you have lost the ability to think independently, independently to make decisions. The ability to think and make decisions independently is lost. You can participate in group activities, in which to strive to participate in decision-making opportunities, exercise their decision-making ability, when you succeed because of their own ability, you will be able to realize that some things can also be handled independently, good experience can give you confidence, the key to you to take the first step. The third problem is that I didn't go out very often when I was young, so I am now a little bit sociopathic, which is actually not a big problem. Let's first understand the psychological causes of sociopathy. The main reason for social terrorism is too much attention to themselves, can be said to be a manifestation of narcissism, but also a reflection of low self-esteem. Narcissism refers to the social terrorist will unconsciously pay too much attention to themselves, in the crowd will feel that other people are paying attention to themselves, focus on themselves, and therefore will pay too much attention to their own words and deeds, resulting in nervousness and anxiety, low self-esteem is not self-confidence, afraid of not being able to do a good job, and will be too much self-reproach if something goes wrong. To understand why they will be social fear of psychology, know that in fact, no one in the crowd will pay too much attention to their own, just their own will be enlarged, with a normal heart to see all the people, focusing on their own should be done above, rather than thinking about how others see their own. You can participate in more speech activities and take the initiative to speak in front of the crowd.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, through your description, I can feel your anxiety and distress. I think I am very similar to you in this aspect, I am also the kind of person who takes many small things very seriously, always rehearsing in my mind before doing something, always afraid of accidents. It's always like this, on one hand, we usually do things more securely and don't do anything risky; but on the other hand, this also leads to a lot of times we're not able to break out of our comfort zones, which affects our development, and we even have nervous and anxious feelings easily. \ufe0f Why do we behave this way? On one hand, this has to do with family. I'm one of those types who has always had a very protective family, my dad rarely lets me go out, and if he does, they always take care of the whole thing. This leads to us not sensing the outside world enough from a young age, and when it's time to do something on our own, there's a sense of discomfort. On the other hand, the concept of face. Not daring to ask for help, or feeling ashamed to ask for help. These are all manifestations of a strong concept of face. Finally, perfectionist tendency. Doing things subconsciously feel that they must be perfect, there can not be any omission. \ufe0f Then what can we do? First of all, let go of their own concept of face. In the face of things you don't understand, instead of not pretending to understand, or simply not to contact, the best way is to go directly to ask others, tell others you don't understand. In fact, we go to do some things we have not done, dining out, riding in the car, in many cases, the face of strangers. In fact, they don't even care to say, there's a little girl and she doesn't understand this, so silly. We're all aiming to learn these things as quickly as possible so that we don't make a mistake next time right. It's not about keeping your so-called face. Secondly, be bold and allow yourself to try more new things. I used to go to a restaurant because I rarely ate out, so I often didn't know what to order or how to operate it. But in fact, all these things are one time, and now a lot of restaurants ah scenic spot operation mode is the same, so as long as you know a kind, you will be able to know all. Then, think about the purpose of their own to do something. Our purpose is to let ourselves get exercise, right, as long as we can get exercise, even if we suffer a little ridicule so what? Finally, learn to be more observant. When you go to an unfamiliar place, instead of doing the strategy. Why don't you observe more to see how others do it?",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I have read your experience and my heart really aches for you. It's as if you were a mayfly in a tiny tank and your mind and body were \"imprisoned\". Sadly for mayflies. Even if it's a tank that can hold a huge amount of water, the mayfly doesn't even realize that it's being held captive, but its mind is still limited in its freedom. And there's a lot you need to do to get out of this water tank loop, and I'm grateful for the help you've come to seek. I hope my answers will bring you help. First, I have had the exact same experience as you, and I know that in order to get out of the psychological shackles you need to analyze the problems and then break them down one by one. I used to be very afraid of socializing, even with people I know to communicate with me will feel very painful, I will think a lot, but my friends and even family can not feel, but also think that I do things diligently and dedicated. The more they did, the more I didn't dare to speak out my inner fear, and I could only carry on with my life, and finally I could not return. At that time, it's hard to get up and regulate your mind. That's why you must always regulate yourself in time. Instead of always turning yourself into a person who may be cloudy on the outside but is indisputably compromising on the inside. This kind of mental conflict will give you a heavy burden one day. Never procrastinate any longer. Second, sophomore female, what can I do to become less intimidated? Approach new things with a normal mind? I offer the following suggestions: Suggestion 1: The most important thing is to know how to regulate yourself first, and this requires you to train yourself for at least 21 days before you can form a long-term action. Your mental stress, your avoidance, your inability to control towards new things are all related to your self-perception. That's why you have to act in advance, so you can avoid being victimized. You have to give yourself very strong mental cues, and then every time if a similar event happens, you have to be in advance of the event yourself, and then by doing deep breathing meditation exercises on your own, you can also listen to some soothing music. Let go of your anxiety about the new thing and then deal with it after you've calmed yourself down. Don't push yourself and don't put too much mental pressure on yourself. Over time, the pain will lessen. Suggestion 2: Have a deep conversation with your fear of new things. Suggest that you adhere to the habit of writing a diary, try to talk to yourself, which can be very good to relieve pressure. In fact, there are several \"I's\" in one \"I\", of course, it is common for a person to have several selves entangled in his or her heart. It's not as cool and exaggerated as schizophrenia. It's just that our personalities are inherently complex. So, by writing a dialog with yourself, you can better channel your different selves and find a way to deal with your problems. You are bound to have conflicts in your mind. You can keep a diary and then put your different thoughts on paper. Slowly, the pressure will ease. Suggestion 3: We can not reject psychological counseling, psychotherapy, in order to ensure that you can get the best help, then seek the most professional help is not wrong. It is recommended that you go to the local general hospital mental health center, go to a comprehensive examination, seriously do a psychological assessment. Only they understand their own psychological state, if there is no big problem then good regulation is good, if there is then timely detection and early treatment. As long as you don't give up on yourself, you will be able to keep the clouds open and see the moon. Third, people are more or less disturbed by interpersonal relationships. We will also be too socially sensitive, and the days of trembling, and finally become suspicious. But people ultimately live for yourself. To live happily, you need to let go of your mental baggage. Welcome to follow the author, Ms. Liu, Panda Jun. \ufe0f.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, I can feel the owner's anxiety when I see the words and hug you. In fact, I'm pretty sure the owner is able to organize all the processes or things when approaching something new. It's always good to think of a foolproof plan whenever and wherever you are. \ufe0f\ufe0fAnalyzing avoidant disorder because of this here, there will be behavioral withdrawal, low self-esteem in the mind, more of an avoidant attitude when faced with a challenge, lack of self-confidence, yet sensitive, often avoidance due to shyness in front of work that requires a lot of contact with others, but there will be a strong self-esteem to go along with it. The owner of the new things encountered in the hope that other people to bring, this is in fact also a human nature, so that from other people to learn from experience, but also more time to spend on doing things above. But at first, it's okay to bring a band, but after a long time, it's not recommended to bring, so it's easy to let yourself not get promoted. And then the owner took the initiative to stand in front, can see the owner's inner progress and advancement, for you to praise a few suggestions to believe in themselves to find their own advantages and strengths, often encourage themselves, tell themselves \"I am the best!\" Don't belittle yourself. And every time there is a new task, the owner can understand well in advance, when others ask you to be able to fully understand, others will also be envious of boasting you. Try to communicate more no matter what you encounter, you can try to communicate with friends and colleagues to communicate, \"three Zhu Geliang, top of a cobblers,\" more than one person more than one way of thinking, learning from the strengths of others, for their own use, to increase the life and work of self-confidence. Appropriately reduce their own requirements for their own will be some things to see open, improve their ability to resist blows, the impact of setbacks, to eliminate the inner sense of inferiority. All to think in the direction of good, do not always care about their own bad place, usually more praise themselves, encourage themselves. Appropriately lower their own requirements for themselves, allowing themselves to make mistakes, no one is perfect, everyone has made mistakes, wrong corrected, next time do not encounter the same remember to do your best to complete on the good. \ufe0f\ufe0f normal heart treat things every day to adhere to the appropriate exercise every day to adhere to the appropriate exercise can let their inner existence of the pressure to be released, active brain and blood, exercise the body. Have a plan, have a goal every time to complete something, have a plan, have a goal to carry out, to maintain a relaxed and calm state of mind, correctly look at themselves, treat others loosely, and strive to maintain harmony with the surrounding environment. Every time is a prepared battle. More communication, let go of the past previous things are in the past, although it may have left a bad influence on themselves, but the owner can find his mother to talk, or talk with friends, teach the former buried in the heart of the words out. When the inner things let go, the weight in the heart will become much lighter. Good luck \ufe0f.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ I am very happy to have the opportunity to answer your question first of all, hug the owner, listening to the owner's description, I expressed understanding. I roughly summarized the problems described by the owner \u2460 focus on the process and details of contacting new things \u2461 when socializing, I hope that someone to take \u2462 ashamed of their own atrophy, afraid of losing face \u2463 since childhood, rarely go out, to the barrier like a barrier in the way, can not go out I put forward some suggestions, I hope that the owner can serve as a reference \uff5e everyone is trying something new, we should not be afraid. I have a similar experience with the owner, so I can understand your feelings. I was also very nervous before my first flight, after that I did a lot of searching, check out the process and details, and then I put my mind at ease. In this ever-changing era, everything is being updated, and we have to change it and adapt to it in order to integrate well into the society. I know the owner is a very careful and sensitive person, afraid of making mistakes and embarrassed, but I hope the owner understands that each of us does not understand the first time we touch something new, and I hope the owner can relax his mind and not be afraid. Open yourself and take the first step. I know that the owner of the building since childhood do not like to go out, socializing also like the kind of leadership type of people with, so you can avoid a lot of socializing. If the sudden change will also be very uncomfortable, so we take our time, gradually take the first step, let yourself alone to face easily. The owner can try to add more departments or clubs in school, more participation in school activities in the process of continuous observation to learn their face of strangers and deal with social occasions, as well as to deal with the attitude of new things, the owner will also slowly get a change to lower their own requirements. I can see that the owner is a person with strong self-esteem, afraid of making mistakes in front of others, afraid that they are not good enough to show in front of others. But we are just a new adult now, and we still have a lot to change, to adapt, and a lot we don't understand. We are not a very perfect person, and there is no guarantee that we won't make mistakes. So, lower your expectations of yourself and face up to the fact that you still have a lot to improve. I hope my answer can help the owner ah~.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, it's great to see you reading your statement with a smile on your face, and it's great to find out that there are others so similar to yourself. Every time I go out to travel, I will make a detailed plan for each day, even what time to take what bus will be detailed in. I refuse to go to countries I'm not familiar with and places I don't have enough information about. I'm afraid that when I arrive at the place, I don't know how to go, what to eat, and what to do if I encounter danger. However, my friends who go out with me are very relieved to leave the plan to me, and when they arrive at the local area, they follow me without thinking, and still have a good time. So, I think, you do things seriously, like to advance this thing, there is nothing wrong. You can embrace it. However, you may be putting too much pressure on yourself when you may not be perfect or have an unknown and uncertain future. First of all, this is the information age, and the future is definitely full of uncertainty. For example, if I make a travel plan, no matter how detailed it is, I may encounter a situation where it rains and I need to change transportation, or a friend has to stay in one place for a while. The plan will be completely disrupted. So what we can do at this point is to embrace change, embrace uncertainty, and equip ourselves with the ability to be anti-fragile. What is the ability to be anti-fragile? For example, if a glass is dropped on the floor, it will break, so the glass is fragile; what about a paper ball? If it falls to the ground, it may stay the same, so the paper ball, we can call it strong; but what if it is a ping pong ball that falls to the ground? It will bounce. Obviously fall to the ground, but can bounce up, this is the ability of anti-fragile, that is, in the uncertainty can benefit from the ability. For example, this year's epidemic, many restaurants and industries have suffered a lot of impact, but online education, logistics and takeaway industries, not only have not been defeated, but on the contrary, they have gained progress and growth, which is the benefit of uncertainty. So, how is the future, how is the uncertainty, you can try to challenge and embrace it. The best skewer place I've had so far was in Tokyo, I was supposed to go for eel rice, but unfortunately I needed a reservation from a local to get in, it was in a small skewer place next door. Everything was iffy and serendipitous, but it's my favorite store so far. The second thing is that you may be placing too much value on what others think of you. There was an experiment done by a psychologist once. He had a subject go out with a scar drawn on his face to see how pedestrians would react. After the scar was drawn and the subject looked in the mirror, the subject felt intimidated and intimidating. When he was about to go out, the make-up artist said, \"Fix it again. Actually, the scar was erased. However, this time the subjects were not made to look in the mirror again and were let out the door. When they came back, the subjects were asked to describe the behavior of passersby. They then wrote: some people looked down when they saw us, obviously frightened by us; some people avoided us, definitely scared; some people. The descriptions were all over the place, so they felt like gangsters, going out with their scars, and everyone on the road was afraid of them. But, we all know that they have nothing on their face. In fact, life is the same. Often, how other people look at us is our subjective guess and thought, not necessarily the other person's true feelings. For example, sent WeChat, just do not return, obviously also sent a circle of friends, you may think this person what is going on, ignore me? See deliberately not back? Wait, screw up, in fact, is probably WeChat is too much information cover off just. So, the only one who cares about your face is you. Therefore, let yourself relax, do not be afraid, adjust their own mindset, give yourself more courage, do not care too much about what others think, and do not deliberately to meet the expectations of others, to live out their own life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there, hugs to you for your anxiety about \"cowering and hiding behind others\". Your obsession is \"can help me release anxiety, want to face these things no longer take them as a matter\" In fact, you have [very good awareness], know that is \"since elementary school I rarely go out, although there is a great desire to go out. Because my mother always wanted us to study well at home during the holidays,\" you have also [put in a lot of effort], \"learning friends to take the initiative to stand in front,\" \"to do every thing I have not been exposed to, I have to check the whole process clearly in advance! \". Kudos to you. Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy divides anxiety into two types, healthy and unhealthy. Healthy anxiety works in our favor and helps us face danger and difficulty. Unhealthy anxiety causes us to panic, lose control of our emotions and behavior, and disrupt normal life. Healthy anxiety is a gift; it's unrealistic expectations that create unnecessary anxiety. In the face of childhood obsession, [to do every thing I have not touched before, I have to check out the whole process in advance] is actually healthy anxiety, which makes us \"do not know where to order and where to pay when we go into a restaurant\" \"the last time I took the high-speed train, I searched through all the matters on the Internet to organize the whole process\". process organized.\" \"When I described it, I even gave the impression that I had been there before.\" This is a very admirable \"special skill\", but I think it's possible that [repeatedly thinking about something in great detail that annoys you and causes insomnia] may be, as you put it, [annoying you]. You may have been overly influenced by your mother's \"study hard, seldom go out\" when you were a child, and felt that \"the door of the house is there, but it is like a barrier, I can't go out\", so [you don't want others to see you cowering], and felt that you \"have to do it\". I have to do it.\" This irrational belief that you \"have to do it\" is hard to eliminate, but easy to alleviate. There are three steps you can take to ask yourself: 1) Ask yourself why you must not let others see you cowering. 2) Answer the question: why must this belief be valid. 3) Judge it rationally: whether it is logical or not. Once we recognize this, we understand the absurdity of irrational beliefs and can try to change them. Behavioral therapy in one of the most important treatment methods [exposure therapy], is that after we change the irrational beliefs, with the newly established rational beliefs, constantly repeated into the anxiety situation, expose themselves to anxiety, directly face them. Through exposure over and over again, anxiety is reduced. You can also use the [Positive Imagery Method]. You can visualize in your brain that you are in an anxious scenario, imagine that you have successfully coped with this anxious scenario, and keep the joy and relief you feel after overcoming anxiety in your mind and experience it over and over again. Train your brain to reduce anxiety through such a visualization. In this fast-paced era, none of us can escape \"anxiety\". As long as we bring new rational beliefs to guide our practice, we can truly control our anxiety. I hope my answer can inspire you and give you food for thought. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ ~ first give the owner a hug, from the description can be understood 1. unwilling to communicate with people, do not like to go out and face the unfamiliar environment 2. before doing things like to list the whole process, want to know everything [a little bit of analysis and advice] 1. do not like to communicate with strangers, is a lot of high school children will be faced with the problem of the children after the promotion of the university, it does not mean that the owner of the personal will not be communicating I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. The owner also mentioned their own before always have someone to bring, someone for their own to ask questions, now need to make decisions independently, independently go out to face other people, so feel confused and uncomfortable is normal, is the owner from a stage to another stage need to face and will certainly solve the problem ah. The owner can try to add some more departments or clubs in school, from the beginning of the follow the older students to do things, in the process of observing and learning the way they face strangers and deal with social occasions, the owner himself will slowly get changed ~ 2. do like to list out the process, I hope to know all the details of the habit itself is a good habit for the owner to deal with a lot of problems, there are This habit itself is a good habit for the owner, in dealing with many problems, there is advance planning and thinking, can increase the probability of success of a thing. What the owner needs to change is the inner cognition, from \"I must know everything\" to \"There is no way I can do everything right.\" In most cases, we can't anticipate all the details of what will happen, but as long as the owner accepts this and tells himself, \"Even if something goes wrong, I can fix it\", that's an excellent habit. This is an excellent habit. I hope this helps.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner: From the description I can sense that you are a very careful and cautious person. To a certain extent, this is an advantage. But the problem is: this kind of careful, cautious, the pursuit of perfection of the characteristics of a certain extent affects your life, and even insomnia, but also affects the health, the mood is also very anxious. After reading your account, I can feel that there are a few problems plaguing you: 1. Excessive pursuit of perfection, feeling very tired inside, but have to force themselves to complete these things. 2. Dependence is relatively strong, accustomed to the guidance of the mother, found that the ability of autonomy is relatively poor. Even after working, they still feel that they lack independence.3. Often cowering, overly concerned about what others think, slightly socially intimidated, and prone to feelings of shame. Why is this the case? In fact, many people have similar experiences to you when they were growing up. Growing up, you may have had a very strict and strong mother who always demanded perfection from you and often made all kinds of decisions for you. So in your family of origin, you are used to this pattern of life. But as you grow older and have more social experience, you gradually realize that you need to change, which is naturally a very good thing. It also means that you are starting to grow up. In fact, change is not as difficult as you think, as long as you can pay attention to do, adhere to will eventually become their ideal model. Excessive pursuit of perfection, when you realize this, you might as well let go of the goal of perfection. In fact, a lot of the time, it's just a matter of caring too much about what other people think. In fact letting go of this baggage will make life very easy instead. You can make more attempts in your life, such as going on stage and trying to give a speech, trying to go out and talk to people around you, or not caring too much about the results when accomplishing tasks. I believe that time and time again to try and a little gain will make you feel deep pleasure, but also gradually let go of the heart of the demand for perfection. This process is gradual, first do not give yourself too much pressure, try to do. If you can't do it for a while and you feel very confused from time to time, you can also try professional psychological counseling, which may be able to provide you with some help.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8925
       },
       {
        "question": "My husband and my parents don't get along, what should I do?",
        "description": "My husband's family lives in the city, no parents, my parents in the countryside, the child is now in elementary school, no one to pick up and send, want my mother to come to the city to help pick up and drop off the child, but my mother did not agree, said nothing to help bring a few days, often with no, my husband is quite unhappy, feel who do not rely on, and made a very stalemate. After a few days, my mom agreed to bring, but also with a gas, my husband and said what not, how to do?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Management, Mother-in-law and Son-in-law",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer will help you. **Life at every stage has some momentarily difficult to solve the problem, life is in the process of constantly produce problems and constantly solve the problem. Your current problem of child transportation in your home is more typical in quite a few families. In fact, in our imagination, the elderly have nothing to do, why can't they help with the children properly? **From some family cases, there are really quite a lot of contradictions, such as:++ Children feel that it is right for their parents to help bring up their children, ++But parents feel that I have worked hard all my life, and I should enjoy the blessings, ++Some parents may be a bit selfish or demanding, and they prefer to have fun rather than bring up their grandchildren, ++Daughters married out of wedlock, and some parents will be patriarchal so they don't want to do it, ++Or, the parents are not physically fit and tired and can't bring them up. ......** Because your lover's parents are gone, perhaps growing up with insufficient love, resulting in psychological loneliness, so you will feel even more unable to understand your mother's thoughts, will \"feel no one to rely on\". **Your conflicts, inner conflicts, actually there is also the issue of psychological flexibility needs to be improved. For example, we need to be more flexible in thinking about this issue, the elderly can not rely on what to do? In fact, the time when a child needs care and needs an adult is only about three years, so is it possible to come by hiring someone? After these three years, when the children go to kindergarten, everything will be fine. What do you think? This conflict needs to be solved by you. **Bless you, and at the same time, it is recommended to have a specialized consultation for psychological construction (marriage and family category). \u03b5I am there, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's understandable if parents don't want to bring up their children! Instead of being so depressingly unpleasant and having an uncomfortable time with each other, we should respect the choice. Maybe it's good for parents to be able to live well on their own and not need us to worry too much about taking care of them. Parents like to take care of the children, that's better, want to live their own life, but also human nature can not be faulted. Both parents may be busy with work, but they should be responsible for their own children. You can think of other ways. Sometimes family conflict is that we expect too much from our loved ones and understand too little. Self-support and self-improvement may be difficult and bitter, but it is not without a solution. To learn to be grateful and think differently, tolerance and respect. Not only transportation, the child's growth and learning also need parents' care and guidance, some things can not replace us to complete, I hope that our own work hard while not neglecting our children. Children are our motivation and source of love, never a burden? Cheer up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, parents have no responsibility or obligation to help you take care of your child. Helping out is a matter of goodwill, and not helping out is just a matter of doing what is expected. But in the traditional Chinese family concept, it is generally the parents who help take care of the child, so your husband may think it is only natural. Now that your mother has finally agreed to help take care of the child, although she is not very willing, your husband has become stubborn and no longer needs the help. This puts you in a difficult position. I'll give you a warm hug. So, what should you do in this situation? First, you need to communicate with your husband, let him know that parents helping with childcare can only be considered as helping. Given the other party's conditions and willingness to help, it is only a temporary favor, and you should not have too high expectations or demands. You should also feel grateful. After understanding these, the two of you should discuss together whether it is more beneficial for the child's growth to have parents help with childcare. After communicating and discussing these issues, you can then discuss whether or not parents should help with childcare. Regarding your mom's side, you must first acknowledge and appreciate her willingness to take time and energy to help with childcare, and then discuss together how to take care of the child, how long she can help, and what is more suitable and beneficial for the child's growth.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, there is a dilemma between parents and husband. This time you need to play a role in the middle of the adjustment. Maybe you can talk to your parents and husband separately, you can ask your parents what they think and what your husband thinks, and then talk to your parents about what your husband thinks, (you can tell your parents that your husband respects them and treats them as his own parents) and talk to your husband about what your parents think, (you can tell your husband that your parents treat him as their own child) and I hope that they can change their minds and understand each other. Maybe you can also bring your husband and parents together, have a family gathering to talk about it, we can say what is in our hearts, communicate patiently, and I believe that a lot of things can be solved. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11072
       },
       {
        "question": "What about cyber violence in schools that seriously affects school life?",
        "description": "School cyber violence, really can't stand it, everywhere rumors about me, fabricate facts, say I'm not enough to say my family, really can't stand it, also bring his friends together rumors about me, has seriously affected my life in school, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Conflict, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I\ufe0f heard that you suffered from school cyber violence, a lot of psychological stress and torture, and your life was greatly affected. It's really heartbreaking for you. I wonder what age group you are in? No matter which age group. I think you should talk to your teacher about this problem, let them deal with the problem, talk to the rumor-mongering classmates and educate them. I wonder what started the cyber violence for others in the first place? Sometimes students at school will ostracize someone for something small, and other students will follow the trend and ostracize them together, fearing that they will be isolated if they are not the same as others. Maybe they don't realize the seriousness of this behavior and don't know that it can cause so much harm to others. But that's no reason to hurt you. You need to realize that they are the ones at fault, not you. And you didn't do any of the things in the rumor, so the reasoning is even more on your side. So be brave and speak up for yourself without feeling afraid. Your family, your teachers and your friends will always be your backing, and if you are the one who is hurt, everyone will support you, believe in you, and work with you to get through this. If you have one or two good friends at school, it would be great to talk to them, but if not, you can still be happy on your own and go wherever you want.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
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            "start": 271,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner of the hello ~ \u203b campus network violence, really can not stand it, everywhere rumor me, fabricate facts, say I'm not enough to say that my family, really can not stand it, but also with his friends together with rumors me, has seriously affected my life in school, what should I do from the owner of the description of the understanding that you are experiencing campus violence, your encounter I feel very sad, to give you an encouraging embrace! Campus network violence is also a violation of the law, if the words and behavior of the other party has seriously affected your normal life, we recommend that you directly and teachers reflect what you have encountered, you can first tell their parents, and then work with their parents to solve the problem. Campus violence can be big or small, on the physical and mental health of students will have a great impact on the development of students, do not always tolerate, encounter problems should be promptly reported to the teacher. It is the other person's fault if you are treated unfairly, so don't do anything stupid because of it. Take up legal weapons to defend your interests when necessary, cheers! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9043
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you treat a driven psychopath?",
        "description": "How do you treat a driven psychopath? Waiting online ---- Thank you!",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Look at the specific direction. Desire to harm others, desire to harm oneself? Because of others' reasons, it is difficult to vent and is forced to. It is possible to be a passive-aggressive personality. Show typical silence and appear indifferent. Express hostility internally. Use a secretive way to resist others. Passive, insist on surface submission, but actually evade and circumvent. [Relatively common, considered to be forced out, abnormal psychology] First, set your own bottom line. Second, make adjustments based on the actual situation. Economic ability. Psychological tolerance. etc. (If possible, speak out the words in your heart. Even if it scares the other person, the pressure in your own heart will be greatly reduced.) Being a mentally abnormal person who appears to be open and aboveboard is much better than having a dark mental abnormality. Abnormal psychology / unusual psychology (different transliterations) is similar to personality disorders, mainly characterized by imbalanced proportions of personality traits. An extreme personality is magnified and emphasized, without self-awareness. [If it is not allowed by law. Not allowed by morals. For example, if it is a voyeuristic psychology aberration, it is advisable to shift attention. . . . Nothing to say. . . Smile :)].\n",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11010
       },
       {
        "question": "Getting ready to repeat senior year 5, but worried that I'll be too much older than the same age later on? I'm very confused.",
        "description": "I have nearly two years of OCD history, the most serious time is very much affecting the normal life, this year has been repeated a year, the result of the application fell out of the grade, is preparing for the fifth year of high school, but also very disturbed by the university after the age of too much, by the fourth year of college will be older than the first five years as much as, very annoying. Although I know I shouldn't be thinking about this right now, I don't know if it's because of my OCD, but I've been thinking about it over and over again for a while now, so I wonder if I can get advice on how to solve it here, thanks a lot.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Stress Management, Work-Study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, through the description of the subject, we can feel that the subject is very entangled in their own age, this repeated thinking has also caused a lot of trouble to themselves, heartbroken subject. Share a story with the subject: I have a sister, also in the college entrance examination volunteering time did not get admitted, resulting in repeating. When she first started to repeat, her sister's state was not very good, her friends and classmates in the same class were enjoying their vacations and longing for college life, while her sister was apprehensive about whether she could adapt to the new classes and classmates, and whether she could withstand the hardship of another year, etc. At that time, the family was very worried about her. At that time, my family was very worried about my sister's state, fearing that she would not be able to bear it. Sure enough, at the beginning of a period of time, my sister would call my family every week, and every time she would cry because she needed to integrate into a new group, because of the pressure brought by interpersonal relationships, because of the pain brought by the revision, etc., and it can be clearly felt that my sister, who used to be happy and optimistic, has changed, and she has become more sensitive and low self-esteem. Later, through the communication with the sister, slowly adjust the mentality, fortunately, the final result is good, the sister can also be a different perspective to look at this year's repeat, I believe that this year's harvest for the sister's life will be a fortune. Sharing this story with the subject is to tell the subject that sometimes the pressure and worries we think are unattainable like a mountain, but let's think about it from a different perspective, it may still be dangerous, but we can also enjoy the fun of climbing the mountain, and finally climb to the top and have a view of all the mountains. In addition, regarding the compulsion mentioned by the questioner, the uncontrollable thinking of the same problem over and over again is compulsive thinking, and the manifestation of compulsive symptoms may reflect a certain kind of need to be emphasized in one's own heart. So this part, if the subject feels that the obsessive-compulsive symptoms affect their lives, it is recommended that they can be adjusted as soon as possible through professional methods.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ life is very long, so long that you can not predict his end, your life belongs to yourself, in the end what kind of life only you know. It is your dream to go to college, and now you can only realize this dream by repeating one year. Repetition may make you feel bigger than your classmates, but compared to your dream, which one do you think is important? These two are like a scale, whichever aspect is heavier for you, you choose it, but whichever you choose you don't regret your choice, but try to stick to it all the way! I am a graduate student to graduate this year, but in this year's enrollment I found that among the new students there are a lot of people who are older than me, and even eight or five years of classmates. When I saw them, I was puzzled at first, but in the conversation with them, I slowly realized that they didn't feel that they were just doing what they liked, and that they were always respecting their own hearts! There is an order in which you can hear the truth, and there is a specialization in your profession! Age should be the shackle of your pursuit of self, the important thing is whether you are doing what you like! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9222
       },
       {
        "question": "My girlfriend wants to be friends even after we broke up because I have a criminal record can we sleep together why?",
        "description": "My girlfriend and I have known each other for six months and have been together for five months. We are each other's soulmate often can carry out deep heart to heart, no words without reservation this kind of. Feelings are very good, together I occasionally because of low self-esteem and feel not door to door (my condition is a little worse, the gap is relatively large) want to separate. Some time ago, I just came out of the detention center, the girlfriend to break up with me, because I have a case (drunk driving, and I broke up, she said to consider for the next generation, can not accept that there is no future, but still want to do with me as a friend, to do the fuck buddy, and I can feel that she is still affectionate towards me) Why is it like this? Supplementary points 1 we both treat each other very well, and both cherish 2 are sincere about this relationship 3 drunk driving is with her, but also because of this thing to be with her 4 do not because the girl said to be a fuck buddy on her prejudice, a lot of things the parties involved I know best 5 there are a lot of details did not say, I only said what I think is more important part of it. Typing is more troublesome, if there is a satisfactory answer I hope to be able to further pay for advice on the reasons for the breakup is quite realistic, right, I think the root cause of this is that the feelings are not in place, right, if enough to like or even love if it is not that these are not a problem, right?",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Love Loss, Codependent Attachment, Getting Your Ex Back",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, carefully read your question, in your question, I see you for the current relationship status of the confusion, why you will break up because of their own case, and even after the breakup still maintain emotional and physical intimacy, you can feel the emotional link between each other before and after the breakup, that kind of deep soul communication is very rare, it can be said that, in terms of emotion, you have a strong The first thing you need to do is to get a good understanding of what you're doing and what you're doing. However, you can not understand why she wants to choose to break up, obviously so deep emotion, obviously before and after the breakup also have love, but she still insisted on breaking up, these confusion has been pressed in your heart, you even began to question is not because of the emotional depth of the reason. I would like to discuss with you from several aspects of the exchange, try to unravel the doubts in your mind together. [Consider whether she has a deep cognitive conflict] The bottom of the case is due to two people, although she is also one of the parties involved, but it seems that she has deep negative feelings about the matter of imprisonment, from your description, it seems that this is the direct cause of her breakup. Considering the deep emotions she had previously felt for you, I think the whole jail thing may have some hidden stories and complexes for her, perhaps feelings of fear, shame, guilt, etc. These felt emotions may have come from her self-perception of being in jail, and the formation of this perception may have come from her family or some of her earlier experiences, etc. Therefore, in this case, she is unable to deal with the strong negative emotions brought about by her imprisonment, and has no choice but to break up with you, which may bring her catastrophic visions (for example, \"feeling that there is no future,\" as you said in your question), and so on. [Consider the clash of values between the two in the concept of marriage] For the emotions, you two have maintained in-depth communication, and the two hearts have figured out that the ideas and views also remain consistent. However, there seems to be some difference in values between you regarding marriage. In your question, your view of marriage seems to be \"the natural result of two people's deep emotions\", this conception of marriage is based on emotion, and emotion as the soil for the development of the marriage story. However, for her, it seems that marriage and emotion are not absolutely linked, or that, in addition to the emotional factor, she also considers more practical factors, such as the state of their life after marriage, the education and training of children, and future development and planning. These factors even exceed the consideration of emotional factors, so she can not accept the fact that the father of the future child has a criminal record. In fact, in life, we can see that girls in the consideration of marriage, will be more than boys tend to consider the reality of the factors, especially the children's education, for the birth of a child's mother, for the offspring will always have more considerations and requirements. [Suggested to communicate sincerely with the above two topics] By roughly analyzing, I think I can also give you to find out two aspects that can be referred to, I can see that you cherish each other's emotions. Therefore, here we suggest that you find an opportunity to sincerely communicate with her on the above two aspects, if it is because she has a special complex in her heart for the matter of imprisonment, you can try to resolve it through counseling and other ways. Of course, if it is related to the conflict of marital values, can only do their best to express their own feelings and emotions, for her, the case has occurred, unless she changes the values, otherwise there will always be this gap. The above is analyzed through the description of your question, I hope to inspire and help you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, there is one area that may not be clear and needs to be confirmed. You and your girlfriend have known each other for 6 months and have been together for 5 months. The DUI happened with her and you are with her because of it. So am I to understand that you established a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because of the DUI as an opportunity? That is to say the timeline is that you knew each other and basically fell in love at first sight, communicated and talked to each other and had feelings for each other, and then the DUI happened and you established a relationship, and then after that you went to jail, and now that you're out, your girlfriend broke it off with you but wants to continue the relationship on an informal and emotional level. Until we get confirmation from you, we can only analyze things on such a timeline for now. The chance to meet a soulmate in one's life is rare, and not only are you able to communicate on a deeper level spiritually (of course this is how you feel on your side, we can't be sure if your girlfriend feels the same way as you do), but you can also be very harmonized sexually (which is something that both of you feel so strongly about). Just from those two aspects, the quality of the relationship is already higher. Maybe if the DUI hadn't happened, you might have stayed in this ambiguous relationship for a while. But because the DUI happened together, this event is arguably more significant, and I'm inferring from your description that you've been in custody for 5 months as well, so the extent should be more serious, but you're also not being specific about what happened, such as if anyone was injured as a result? Your girlfriend and you together after this incident, you both established a relationship, it can be said that a large part of the establishment of the relationship from the two of you together through this \"danger\", perhaps the aftermath of the celebration of life, perhaps there is some guilt, is that all these emotions may be there. People's beliefs and thoughts can change under special circumstances. So really what's less certain here is what your girlfriend's attitude and feelings were towards you before the DUI, and whether or not she had a very strong desire to be with you. I noticed that you mentioned that you were self-conscious about being a little too far removed from the other person, and that this could be an objective condition. What about your girlfriend? The first possible scenario is that your girlfriend talked and slept well with you in the beginning, but actually had concerns in front of the gap in real conditions. Later drunk driving this thing happened, one is because two people experience the danger of hormonal impulses, two is because you do this thing together, and finally only you go to bear the consequences of this (detained), so your girlfriend feel guilty, based on these two reasons she and you to establish a relationship, this situation is more out of the psychology of compensation. And after you come out, maybe your girlfriend and tend to be rational, or her side of the people have admonished and so on (these are just guesses), coupled with the case this reality, so she and you mentioned break up. But she doesn't let go of her intimate feelings with you, so she offers to maintain an informal emotional relationship with you. This situation is summarized by the fact that your girlfriend may still be looking at the reality of the disparity in terms of conditions. She may not be in love with you to the extent that she just thinks you are a good friend. In today's society, whether it is because of seeking spiritual or physical comfort to maintain an informal relationship, in fact, also exist, understandable. What is the second scenario? It's when your girlfriend feels the same way you do and loves you. But something may have happened during your DUI and created some \"trauma\" that makes it impossible for her to continue to be in a formal boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with you, but she still has a soft spot in her heart for you. This is a situation where the trauma needs to be dealt with because it will affect your relationship. This may also be the part of the details you didn't tell, and it's the more important part. Based on your description, this is the only part of the analysis that can be given for now, and further counseling is recommended. Specializing in the use of cards, dolls and other small objects for the precise presentation and transformation of cases, to share with you the knowledge of psychology, welcome to pay attention to, have questions can be private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner. The owner also said that things are complicated, I think analyzing things/your feelings is not the focus of this matter. From the owner's description, I can feel the owner's love and care for the other person, especially \"don't be prejudiced against a girl just because she says she's a fuck buddy\", kudos to the owner. What does the owner really want to ask? \"Does she still love me?\" \"If one likes it enough, then none of this is a problem, right?\" Sadly, we live in a real world, and my analysis is that the reality of the conditions, will not be what will make a person truly love someone, but it is a condition in which a person can continue to love TA more. Under this consideration, the time difference between knowing and being together is one month and one year, which is not too long and not too short, so if you shed it with the determination to break your wrists, you may not be too sad at the end of the \"doomed to not be together\" and miss the best choice of a spouse. She loves you or not, is not true love, these are with the possibility of speculation, and it is easy to appear \"love - love why break up - she is still not enough love\" cognitive cycle, plausible question, is very easy to consume their own. Why do you want to be a fuck buddy? --Maybe she can't let go of you, and \"fuck buddy\" is compensation for you; maybe she wants to transition with you out of love ...... You don't know what she thinks, and even if you talk about it, you'll still have doubts in your mind. The important thing is, what do you think? What are your needs, goals, emotions? Do you want to keep her? As a fuck buddy? Can you get married? If you can't, it's better to break it off sooner rather than later; if you can, it's more important to improve yourself. Are you questioning whether you are really soulmates? If yes, many people can't meet them in their whole life, so isn't it a lucky thing that you did? If not, then losing someone who isn't a soulmate doesn't seem unacceptable. Regarding the question, \"If you like or even love someone enough, isn't that not a problem?\" The needs of \"true love\" in people's mind are different, some people just want a good-looking person, and don't care much about whether they are compatible with their soulmate, while others think that if they can meet one, what else is there to care about? It all depends on whether your needs are equal/same. Besides this, there is another thing that can fool us, that is, whether the conditions of both parties are equal or not will also affect the judgment of \"needs\". What does that mean? For example, if a person thinks that \"love is the most important thing\", he thinks that he has ranked true love at the top of his list, and he thinks that \"as long as it is true love, everything is not a problem\", but before that, the other person has already reached a higher level of materialism than he has, such as appearance, etc. This makes the other person's need higher than his, But before that, the other person has already achieved a higher material standard, appearance, etc. than him, which makes Ta mistakenly think that he is the type of person who \"has love to drink\". Therefore, in this state, the discussion of \"if we like or even love each other enough, isn't all this a problem? It is meaningless, because the person facing this difficult choice is not you, but her, her conditions are better than you, of course you can \"are not a problem\". If you end a relationship, you will usually summarize \"what went wrong\", if you put everything in a rough, generalized \"this is ta not love me enough\" will not be conducive to personal growth, back off a thousand steps, maybe this is the reason, then how to help you grow? How does that help you grow? In an intimate relationship, we will see ourselves, our love, hurt, pain, reflected in the fullest, to be able to establish an intimate relationship, has been a blessing; and the end, we can do is to check what we still need to be more good, what are the shortcomings, to have a newer and more complete knowledge of themselves. (Examining one's own shortcomings is not encouraging over-reflection and internalized negativity, but rather the positive thinking of \"what else can I grow\") Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject. When I first read this question, it seems that in my heart I am not too surprised by the woman's decision, but rather I feel that the subject seems to have a very pure expectation, it seems that feelings should be very pure, as long as the feelings are deep enough, all the \"reality\" should not be a problem. Therefore, a confusion arises in the subject's heart, what kind of reality is it. Your question reminds me of one thing. In some stories, it is not difficult to see, an artist or philosopher, talented, in the spiritual field is very deep, beautiful women appreciate such a spiritual fit, love, pursuit, but also willing to devote themselves. As you describe soulmate, you are very spiritually or emotionally integrated and beautiful. But this cannot be placed on a \"marriage and family\" level. Because issues like marriage and child rearing must be considered at the level of societal rules. It's not clear why you got a DUI for whatever reason when you were together, but it does seem to indicate that you may have broken some social rules, or ignored them when your relationship was too integrated. The love triad theory categorizes love into parts: passion, intimacy, and commitment. This pure categorization may be a bit absolute, but at least we can use it to understand that \"love\" is not so monolithic, but also multi-dimensional and multi-layered. I think this may also correspond to the fact that we have a strong spiritual depth, such as the sincere warmth of the naked child; mutual understanding, can understand each other, that is a kind of intimacy; but for the part of the commitment, we can first put aside the economic or social status considerations, can basically live within the rules of the community, may be considered to provide the basis for \"commitment\". But for the commitment part, we can put aside economic or social status considerations for a moment. I don't think the problem is that you got a DUI; the problem is how the DUI happened, and how it signaled some instability or insecurity that made the other person make the judgment that this kind of relationship is not good for the future and the next generation. This may be something we can think about. Drunk driving, at the very least, means that we lack an accurate judgment or prediction of our behavior in the moment, or that we are less \"aware\" at that moment, so how does such a lack of awareness occur in us. Perhaps we are a person who focuses on the \"spiritual realm\" in such a way that outsiders can't comment on, but in an intimate relationship, it seems that we have to consider that the other person may have other expectations of a partner that need to be met in addition to the needs of that SOULMATE. It may also be something we have to consider if we want the relationship to go further. For your information. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see the words, read your description, I personally feel that this girl belongs to both rational and emotional in the girls. Most of the girls are emotional, love a person to love, but this girl is more rational, she knows that you have a big gap, there is no future together, so her rationality tells her to break up with you. But after all, she is still a girl, so there is still an emotional side, she is more attached to you, whether you are soulmate or physically more compatible, these let her feel with you or enjoy that pleasure, the nature of human nature is greedy, so this also makes her do not want to cut off with you at once, she still want to enjoy the warmth and the pleasure, whether physical or psychological. The actual fact is, if both of you really feel that there is no such thing as a good relationship. In fact, if both of you really feel that there is no future, the current state is just a kind of hemlock, because love and life is completely different. In love only consider the feelings of both sides as well as physical fit, this good actually enough, but life is more of a wood, rice, oil, salt, vinegar and tea, a variety of intricate relationships, the circle of friends of the intersection of the circle of contacts to support each other, in fact, your girl in the rationality of a variety of analyses, that you are completely impossible, she just can not let go of the enjoyment of the good, warm, and may want to give themselves a buffer, perhaps for the good to stay! A buffer, perhaps for the beautiful attachment, so she proposed and you continue to do bubble friends, so that on the one hand will not all of a sudden cut off the relationship between the two sides, on the other hand, to give both sides of a buffer, not too difficult for everyone. In fact, you know the reason for the breakup is very realistic, some feelings do not mean all, marriage is based on feelings, but also take into account the reality, some people may be sentimental predominance, so it will be less than perfect consideration of reality, and your girlfriend, she is quite rational, her consideration of reality is also more accurate, so you even if your feelings in place, if the reality is not enough to match, she will still choose to break up. Choosing the most suitable person for you to get married is the biggest responsibility for yourself, and this may be her choice. For you to fall in love with a lover who is better than you, is very normal, all human beings have the mentality of admiration for the strong, the reason why the strong man is strong, is because he knows how to judge the situation, he can use all kinds of resources around him, so that he is stronger step by step. For you is the same, you fell in love with a strong girlfriend, but your own conditions can not meet her requirements, so rather than speculate now, why not take the time to enhance their own, when you are strong, whether it is for her, or for the future of your destiny, the level will be different. Love yourself well so you can love others well. The more you cherish yourself, the more others will cherish you, so treat yourself well and don't have any more bad records, come on. I hope the above suggestions will be helpful to you, click \"useful\", thanks for meeting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Maintaining the relationship seems to have caused you a certain amount of stress, and making this decision may have been a stressful event for her as well. Stressful events cause emotional and physiological arousal leading to psychological discomfort. A stressful event exceeds an individual's resources and abilities, and when faced with a stressful event, an individual will take certain measures to cope with the overload. Coping is when an individual makes various attempts to minimize loss or suffering in the face of external stress, to bring balance within the body and to serve as self-protection. Coping can be unconscious; individuals in painful situations use repression, denial, identification, or rationalization to alleviate their negative emotions. The relationship with you was likely a stressful event for your girlfriend, and she didn't think it through very clearly on her own, knowing subconsciously that she still needed this relationship with you to sustain her. So she subconsciously identified with you as a partner and rationalized the matter of maintaining a sexual relationship with you despite the fact that it was against the moral code. The way a person copes can be determined by perception, social support and personality traits. In terms of her cognition, she believes that she is justified in remaining friends with you, whether out of affection or guilt. In terms of social support, she may not have friends with whom she can talk about your relationship, so she makes decisions without thinking deeply about them, and when things go wrong, she may not have the social resources and interpersonal support to help her work through the problem. Her character may be deep, emotional, kind, and eager to help, but not rational or pragmatic enough, so she rarely considers the gap between her and you. Putting the pleasure principle first, pursuing emotional fulfillment and giving relatively little thought to other issues. She is trying to solve the problems in her relationship with you, but the individual's efforts do not always achieve the desired results. It is possible that the individual can achieve her own balance by solving the problems, or she may have serious physical and psychological problems because she is unable to solve the problems. Coping is not always a successful behavior, there are only efforts or attempts and there can be failures. There are positive and avoidance strategies for coping. Positive strategies are characterized by finding as many solutions to problems as possible and as quickly as possible when faced with stress. Whereas avoidance strategies are expressed as avoiding negative emotions, such as anxiety and distress, as much and as long as possible when faced with a situation. Your girlfriend is adopting an avoidance strategy by asking to continue her sexual relationship with you by avoiding the pain that comes from being separated from you, the anxiety of being separated from you. However, you will still face problems when you are together. Positive mental qualities include wisdom and knowledge, courage, love and humanity, justice, temperance, spirituality and transcendence. Positive strategies are available to cope with stressful situations by improving your abilities or changing your goals. It is possible to relook at your relationship by changing perceptions. You don't have a very clear understanding of her views on marriage and values right now, and you don't have good communication with her about love, marriage, and life after marriage, which can cause emotional anxiety or overwhelm when you're together. What are her goals for wanting to maintain a relationship with you? What do you mean to her? Only with a clearer idea of where you fit into her psyche can you keep your mental load down when you're with her and be able to enjoy each other both physically and mentally. Your positive emotional support for her in communication between the two of you can help her see the future of your relationship with her more clearly. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It can be seen that the subject and the other party's feelings are indeed very good, just in the face of some real problems, we will again be more rational. We all know that marriage is more realistic, first of all, the two sides of the family conditions, which is really important, the subject is very much in love with each other, but they and each other together will be a little inferiority complex, feel a little bit unworthy of her, so there are also want to give up the idea. Second is the case of this matter, we all know that the case will affect the next generation, but this effect is generally a child to join the civil service or some state units will be strictly examined, if there is a case, the child will indeed be stuck outside the door. The last thing is whether there are other things they mind, such as whether both parents approve of the relationship, and whether there are things they want to go over to erase the impact of each other. The questioner talks about if one likes or even loves the person enough aren't any of these things a problem, right? I feel that love is one thing, the important thing is still how to solve the things that have happened, love can only guarantee that we want to be together at that time, but then some of the reality of the problem still need to face, so some of the reality of the factors we can consider. Because of the gap between each other's family conditions is relatively large, so some of her parents will be a little more concerned about some situations, such as whether we have a stable job, and whether we can guarantee each other's material life in the future. This can be seen from some small things, if the other side of the family conditions, a piece of clothing may be worth a month's salary, then whether we have to condescend to each other, or need to be forewarned from her parents part of the money, which are inevitable problems. There is also the DUI is the subject and the other side together, as elders, if you know this matter will certainly be a little bit inside, because we all know that drinking and not driving, but we did not do, but also caught in flagrante delicto, while sitting next to each other or their own daughters, which is irresponsible to each other. It's really hard for a parent to give their daughter to someone who isn't very responsible, so that could be a concern for the other person as well. Relationships are really important, but so are material assurances, the way you get along in the future, and each other's attitudes, so in order to work things out, you need to put all your concerns to rest and have some guarantees first. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner good from your description, I captured the more contradictory information. Because your description is too fragmented, I can only roughly sort out the information you give: together for five months, each other is soulmate, feelings are very good own conditions are a little worse, the gap is relatively large, and occasionally thought of separating; in love, you feel the spirit of the covenant, but back to the reality of the level, you seem to have doubts about the future of each other's relationship. Drunk driving is with her because of this incident together because there is a record to break up seems to be drunk driving this incident throughout the relationship, you have nothing to talk about when there is no talk about this matter? After listening to your description, I would wonder if the relationship started with a DUI, did it take on some kind of tragic overtones in the course of the relationship? Did the girl reveal during the course of the relationship that it was a relationship that would not work? Maybe she chose you in your darkest moments and gave you deep support. Now she's choosing to separate, which is confusing and upsetting, and it seems like you're passively suffering through it all and can't do much about it. The girl initiated the breakup by proposing to be a fuck buddy, you can sense her feelings for you you don't want other people to be prejudiced against her from this description of yours, the girl is the dominant party in the relationship, and I also sense your feelings for her her place in your heart is important, is the embodiment of goodness, and this image will not be allowed to be desecrated because of the breakup is too realistic, you are suspecting that the feelings are not in place. Maybe too much happened during the five months you were in love with her, you had a lot of emotional investment, and in the face of this ending, you feel lost and powerless. The above is a rough compilation I did based on your account, and felt a lot of contradictory information, maybe you want to characterize the relationship. The warmth of emotion and the calmness of reality have left you at a loss; and your inability to choose has made you feel powerless and passive. This may be something you can follow up and explore further, right? ...... Maybe you can use this to look at what you want out of a relationship, what you want out of it, and take back the power that you really have in a relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You bought a new pair of shoes, which are your favorite model, comfortable, nice to look at, wear them everywhere, and take very good care of them every time you go out and come home too. One day, you were wearing these shoes and rubbed on the undried paint. The paint sticks to the shoe so hard that you can't wash it off. You decide not to wear them out of the house for fear of people commenting on the paint on your shoes and the need to dress decently at work. But every time you come home, you still put these shoes on, they are really comfortable and you really like them, even the memory of the paint rubbing on them has a special meaning. Sometimes you want to change a pair of shoes, buy a pair of the same model instead, but you find that this is a limited special model, only this pair. [Contradictory love and do not love] In fact, the human emotion of all things are two-sided, the more you love a person, the more you can not accept and their own ideals of that person's tiny difference, do not care about the person even if the sky is the biggest problem also has nothing to do with me. Both you and she can list the things that you like about each other and the things that you don't like about each other. It's just a matter of how much and how little, and whether the impact is big or small. Sometimes love dominates, sometimes dislike dominates. Not sure if it's the same time when you say break up and when you say you'll be fuck buddies, the same time might be more like making up for it, saying a bad one and making up for a good thing overdoing it. If it's a different time, maybe it's letting go and not being able to let go, looking for a stepping stone to get back. So what does she love or not love? What is loved may be the soulmate experience, the sexual pleasure, the good memories of the past, your active or passive giving, or the quality or appearance in you. What you don't love might be the stigma of being a caretaker, the worry about the future, the feelings you get when you're judged. To some extent, it's a kind of middle ground she's found to keep herself from inner conflict, to fulfill her needs without worrying about the future. She may also be influenced by the people around her] In fact, if you think about it carefully, this kind of strong dependence and sudden breakup as a fuck buddy actually has quite a lot of strange points, so it is likely that she is being dissuaded by her relatives and friends, and although she does not want to break up, she agrees with her friends and family ideologically. Have you seen or heard of any extreme incidents that you can't let go of when it comes to this child thing? Clarifying downward toward this idea may be able to find the problem, have a serious conversation, lock this worry and fear on that extreme event, realize that not all such things will have a great impact, and may be able to let the other person gradually desensitized in this matter, not so resistant. [The sudden loss of a relationship is traumatic for anyone] Although she says she's breaking up, she doesn't necessarily accept it wholeheartedly because breaking up is a process that requires repeated letting go, repeated catharsis, repeated releasing of feelings, and ultimately settling of the dust. From the point of view of protecting yourself to consider what kind of a state of being a fuck buddy this period of time, whether it is being gradually let go or being held tightly in the arms, I think you must have a feeling. If you can put on the table to say in fact are very easy to solve, are easy to channel open, afraid of the fear has been held back, perceived, can be taken out to talk about it. There is no case of course good to find people, but soulmate is really not an easy thing, love is definitely accompanied by trade-offs, really honest, really what can be put on the table to say, most of the problems can be solved. The most important thing to remember is that you have to be honest with yourself. Shoes on the paint, perhaps will always be on it, but wear or not, or look at the heart, can be treated as a stain, but can be painted in the paint that painted into flowers, become a tide shoes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Indeed, like the subject says, there are a lot of details left out. Based on the information the subject has provided so far, let's rationalize it in general. The subject and his girlfriend have known each other for six months, and after knowing each other for a month, the two of them got a DUI together, and then under the influence of the DUI incident, they established a relationship. The subject was detained for this DUI incident, leaving a record. After coming out of the detention center, his girlfriend immediately broke up with the subject on the grounds that the subject had a record. I don't know if the above is true or not. For the time being, this is the basis for discussion. I would like to confirm with the subject, the subject and his girlfriend really as boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is how long? Of course, this time needs to be deducted from the time the subject was detained and the time he was likely to be detained before detention. The purpose of confirming this time is not to judge the relationship between the subject and his girlfriend by the length of time. I just want to understand how the subject defines this relationship. The author has been emphasizing the degree of recognition of the relationship between the two parties, and feels that both parties are each other's soulmate. even after the girlfriend broke up, the author still affirms his girlfriend's feelings for him. It is just that this affirmation seems to be more like a comfort to oneself. Because in the end, the subject also thinks that because of the reality of the reason to break up, its root is still not emotionally available. The subject seems to be in a rather conflicted state right now. Emotionally, he wants to make himself believe that he and his girlfriend are still each other's soulmate; rationally, he is skeptical of this emotion. Therefore, now facing the initiative to break up but still willing to maintain a non-normal emotional relationship with his girlfriend, the subject is confused, do not know how to deal with this emotion and the relationship between each other. First of all, I would like to suggest to the subject, or first try to remain calm. On the one hand, calmly face the girlfriend's breakup request, do not appear some fierce emotional reaction. This does not seem to be too difficult for the subject, because from the subject's account, the girlfriend's breakup request should not be raised in the next day or two. Another aspect is to calmly analyze your girlfriend's request. From the perspective of both the girlfriend and yourself to consider whether the breakup request has the possibility of withdrawing, and then decide how you should respond. These are only the most superficial response. The most fundamental solution, or the subject can have a more comprehensive and deeper understanding of the emotions between the girlfriend and the subject. Don't bring your own halo effect to look at the emotions between two people. Emotions are two-way, it is a matter of two people. There are simultaneous feelings, but more of them come from separate individuals. So, you can't stand in your own shoes and express feelings for someone else. This is not to negate the soulmate relationship between the subject and his girlfriend, but just to make the subject's understanding more objective. This may help the subject's current state of \"difficult\". I hope the above will be helpful to the subject.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2380
       },
       {
        "question": "Aunt got divorced because grandma left the house... are mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law really incompatible?",
        "description": "Recently at home, my aunt ran away from home because of my grandmother, and she's going through a divorce or something, just because she's in the same yard? But why can't they even tolerate an old man? Grandma may be like a child sometimes, angry and so on, but he is an old man, why can't he be more tolerant?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Divorce, In-laws",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Good Morning This one may be slightly biased in my opinion, and I offer my apologies in advance. Why? Wanted to share my family's story with you. In the past, my mom had thought about divorce, but out of guilt for her children's marriages from her first marriage, the same guilt she felt for her sister, ta chose to put up with it. My grandmother had eight children, one died young. Each grew up and left my dad in the family. I've heard my mom say that after she gave birth to me back then, conflicts erupted in the family and she was almost kicked out, I don't know if it was because I was a girl, maybe that was one of the reasons. What about father? Was siding with his mother. They kept me and tried to get rid of her. Growing up, I couldn't tell right from wrong, and my grandmother would say those curses, and taught me to say them to my mother like that. If I heard my father's name being called outside, I would go back and do the same, and she would scold me, and I can't remember whether she hit me or not. But she did beat me, and left a scar on my face, which is still there. The reason was that I smashed the goose to death. Actually, I didn't mean to do it, I stepped on the stool to get something on the table, and because I didn't step firmly, the stool to went down and smashed it. In fact, she also has a kind place, when my relatives come, and my generation of children, she always like. I remember one time I don't know who broke the clock, and she just talked about it. At that time I thought, if I had broken it, the consequences might have been serious. ............ My mother and my grandmother were always in a cold war. If I hadn't stayed in the house, I probably wouldn't have imagined an old person as bad. Because she's an old person, ah, she's vulnerable. We're not in your aunt's position, we can't relate to the things and feelings of the people involved. We are not in your grandma's position to know what she thinks and feels. We are just bystanders, but don't feel like you're already \"on top of the world, seeing all the mountains.\" We are just bystanders, but don't feel like you're \"on top of the world. There is more to it than meets the eye. Just as we can see the icebergs on the surface of the sea, we can't see what's underneath. Hugs to the subject. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21703
       },
       {
        "question": "What if you can't control your cell phone play and sometimes you don't want to study?",
        "description": "Doing homework makes me want to play with my phone so bad, I don't know what to do anymore, I can't control myself. So anxious ahhhhhhhhh.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Stress Management, Work Study, Student Development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the subject can see that you actually want to focus on learning to write homework, but the phone this guy, inside the application is designed to snatch your time ah write homework this thing itself is very boring, the phone is so fun so write write homework, feel the phone in the same way as their own beckoning, it is difficult to prohibit the temptation this is actually very normal ah just, in the study of the matter, or We need to resist the temptation of cell phones a little Maybe we can try a new method to re-look at the two things to play the phone and write homework give yourself a special time to play the phone can play 20 minutes of the phone, set an alarm clock to take a break in the middle of the alarm clock, set an alarm clock of ten minutes to write ten minutes of homework ten minutes to ten minutes to the end of the minute do not want to more than one minute, immediately put the pen down, and then to go Play 20 minutes of cell phone if you think 20 minutes is not enough, then extend another ten minutes, but play the process of cell phone, do not think about writing homework this thing and so you play tired, put down the phone, go write 10 minutes of homework, because writing homework is a break to ten minutes must let themselves stop a few times after you can adjust their own time to play the cell phone, but write homework time must not be more than ten minutes! You can try to see in such a rhythm, how long it takes to be able to complete the day's homework if the time is still early, but also after the time can also be used to play the phone to try.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! In fact, in modern life, people are getting more and more inseparable from the cell phone, this is a very social situation, and it is not a problem for you alone. The key to the problem lies in the length and frequency of our use of cell phones, unless it is required for work, then in non-working hours, if we use the phone for too long, there may be a tendency to become addicted to the phone. Especially when we feel within ourselves that we are using our cell phones for too long, and we want to improve it, but we are not able to control ourselves, we will have an anxious reaction. In order to improve your self-perceived cell phone addiction, you first need to accept your current situation, that is, you need to accept the reality that you are now playing with your cell phone on your own. Secondly, find an alternative to playing with your cell phone, for example, can you try to communicate with your friends? Or go for a workout, or get together with a friend and have a chat. Again, if you really can't control yourself, then could you agree with your family to put down your cell phones at a fixed time every day, and then chat with your family, read a book together, or play a game, to monitor each other. Finally, don't deny yourself through you can't control yourself well enough not to play the phone thing, everyone has his good and his not good, then if you can through the external power to play the cell phone time to reduce the words, is also very great! That's my personal opinion, I hope it inspires you and I wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3930
       },
       {
        "question": "How do I detach myself from my emotions?",
        "description": "It's been over a year now, and every month there's a week or so where I get into a sad mood, and during that time I get insomnia, weakness, and anxiety. But usually very normal, eat and drink very normally. It's just that if someone irritates me at a certain point, I explode and get hysterical, but then I completely forget what I said and calmly apologize. I've been to a psychiatrist once, but the doctor said I'm normal and there's nothing wrong with me. But this time around, I seem to be getting a little worse and will gasp for air when I'm powerless. I want to run away from this emotion, but I'm afraid to go to the hospital for fear that he will prescribe me medication.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, hello~~~want to give you a warm hug~ People are the masters of their emotions, people should try to be able to manipulate their emotions, rather than letting their emotions dictate their behavior. When a period of time each month into a sad mood, you may be able to go out more to play, do their own interests, try to make themselves happy, or more and family and friends to talk about their own affairs of the heart or mood, so that their lives become full, but also every day to go to the gym or exercise, so that their bodies become tired, so that may be able to achieve a kind of \"fatigue to help sleep\" effect. When you are in a better mood, sleep well and have a better spirit, you may have more energy to deal with things in your life every day, and you may not feel tired easily. If someone will stimulate you, you may explode, this time, should pay attention to emotional control, you can first take a deep breath is to calm down, and the person to talk about your thoughts, and hope that he (she) next time try to avoid such a situation, if the heart is still not good, you can go to the appropriate \"catharsis\", such as going to the gym to hit the sandbags, or to go for a run, play games, singing, and other ways to put the negative emotions in your heart. A different way to give vent to the negative emotions in your heart, which may be more conducive to your control of your own emotions. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15641
       },
       {
        "question": "An eighteen-year-old girl who goes to bed on time every day, why can't she ever sleep?",
        "description": "I go to bed on time at 10:30 every day, but I can't sleep with my eyes closed for a long time, and I can hear even the slightest movement, and the quality of my sleep is seriously deteriorating, and I can only stare with my eyes open, so I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, staying up late",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, not being able to sleep is indeed quite a pain. See you also for this to adhere to a fixed time to go to bed, paid the effort. The following points are a small way to help you sleep, I hope to help you. 1, go out for a run after dinner, or do half an hour of exercise, energy consumption, help sleep; 2, before going to bed you can soak your feet, hot water soaking your feet can promote blood circulation, improve sleep, and even after soaking massage acupoints, improve the quality of sleep; 3, lying in bed away from electronic products, ready to sleep, you can do some deep breathing. Relaxation, do not think about all kinds of things during the day, especially not to an emotion in the repeated chewing; 4, if you lie in bed for half an hour, still can not sleep, tossing and turning, then get up, find something to do, do not intense stimulation on the line, but also away from electronic products. You can read, write, draw, do yoga meditation and so on, until there is sleepiness, tiredness, and then go back to bed; 5, do not take insomnia as a very serious problem. In fact, our anxiety about not being able to sleep can exacerbate our insomnia by allowing certain times when we can't sleep ourselves. It is true that late to bed in fact a short period of time really does not have such a big impact on our lives, but you are anxious about it, and keep suggesting that instead of making it a problem; 6, you can also think about not being able to sleep there is no real level of problems have not been solved, such as life, work, or emotional problems, and positively solve them, it will not be lagging behind and influence; 7, finally, there are a lot of sleep-aiding music on the platform and audio, you can try to listen to it oh (\u00b4-\u03c9-`)~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3706
       },
       {
        "question": "The heart clenches at the thought that a child's life will someday come to an end?",
        "description": "My child is only a few years old now, but in the past six months, probably because of the epidemic made me think of life, death and separation, suddenly especially sad, made me think, even if the child's life does not meet any bad things, life always has an end, and by then I may have long been gone ... and the child has to face it alone, I can not imagine, the more I think about it, the more my heart is tightening, the more I think about it, I want to cry, very sad! The more I think about it, the tighter my heart is, the more I want to cry, and the more I feel very sad. I regret having a child, and feel that bringing a child into this world is really a kind of harm, if it never existed in the first place, is there no pain, no old age, sickness, and death, and I feel that I've fallen into a black hole, and that I'm going to lose it, and I'm suddenly especially powerless. Recently, I feel more and more powerless, and I'm afraid that I feel sorry for my child. I am very unstable, very easy to anger, as if out of control, I feel very afraid, but I do not know what to do, I am afraid of the future, afraid of death, especially can not face the fact that the child's life even a hundred years have an end, I am also afraid of my own sudden departure, what to do with the child, unprecedentedly life-threatening, heartache, dizziness, I feel a little bit of a breakdown",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Emotion Regulation, Tears of Vulnerability",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I hug the subject through the screen, I understand your feelings, I can see that you are a very loving parents you feel yourself, now, in fear of their own sudden departure of the child how to do - this kind of \"sudden\", from your expression is probably for the \"You don't know which will come first, the 'accident' or the 'tomorrow'. This \"fear\" may stem from the fact that you have always loved and cared for your child. In the context of the epidemic, life and death have been magnified infinitely in front of us, and it is only natural to feel anxious. \u25b2However, thinking optimistically, at least now in the anxious self is still living on earth is not it? If this is the case, instead of spending time on useless thoughts, we should turn this anxiety into \"action for change\". --Every living moment is cherished, and every second has the potential to make the future you fear a little easier to get through and a little better. You say that you have a lot of fights with your children but you don't know why \u25b2Is it possible that you are getting impatient because of your \"fear\" and \"worry\" at the moment? Is it possible that your child is feeling \"overwhelmed\" by your \"desire to do more for him/her\"? We all know that love needs to breathe. It's not the case that children can take care of their own lives if parents do everything for them; it's the fact that children can learn to take care of themselves and become independent that can 'ease your fears' \u25b2Trust your children and let them fall down once in a while. Always be careful to protect and assist, learn to walk the slower to learn; fall, only to know how to stand up. Perhaps the subject can take this psychological journey as an opportunity, an opportunity to let go of their own hands, to guide the child to learn to adults are not there, take care of themselves, and learn to use various ways and means to seek help. \u25b2Parents and children destiny a, the first half of the road is the former has been teaching the latter how to walk correctly, walk the right way; the second half of the road can only be their own walk through. The first thing you need to do is to teach them how to do the job, not to do it all, but to help them to do it all, so that the root cause of their anxiety and stress can be alleviated.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello thanks for the trust, from your words I see your anxiety, I wonder what you have experienced in your growing up? Maybe this epidemic triggered your past traumas, making you think of some birth, old age, sickness and death, and separation, a kind of out-of-control feeling, the more anxious you are the more emotionally unstable you are, the more you care the more you are afraid of losing, and so you are caught in a cycle that you can't extricate yourself from. In fact, all of these emotions come from our inner little girl has not grown up, she is scarce, no energy, she also needs to be cared for, to be concerned about, let yourself heal first, in order to better to raise children, to be a role model for children. Suggestion:Counseling.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10478
       },
       {
        "question": "I've been having weird urges lately and those urges are uncontrollable?",
        "description": "The last few days have been filled with thoughts that don't belong to me, there are times when I feel like another thought is controlling me, and my mind sometimes feels like it's floating outside of my body. Uncontrollable impulses come up, like being in the middle of a class and drinking water, and all of a sudden all of a sudden I especially want to pour water on my head. This impulse is not something I have on my own, it comes out of nowhere. Or let's say I'm thinking in my own head about going to the beach for the weekend to relax, but then all of a sudden an impulse tells me to take one step into the ocean and drown. And then there are actions that seem strange to others, such as suddenly stopping to look out the window, which seems to be out of my control.",
        "keywords": "Behavioral, obsessive-compulsive, confusing",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~From the subject's description, I understand that the subject has been having some strange thoughts lately, and they feel uncontrollable. In this regard, the subject may want to think about whether the subject has experienced something before the emergence of these thoughts, which has led to the subject's negative thoughts about some things. On the other hand, we can try to find out whether there is a common denominator in these thoughts, such as the fact that they all have a detrimental effect on the subject, which may be the key to our problem. Behavior, these common points may just be the reaction to the key to our problems, the subject may try to record these thoughts to help us better analysis at the same time, in the emergence of these emotions, we may try to shift their attention, and timely relaxation of emotions, to avoid such negative thoughts on us to have more impact.",
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        "questionID": 10342
       },
       {
        "question": "I used to think it was good but now I don't. Will you come back to earth next time?",
        "description": "I used to think that the earth is very good but now slowly grow up, I found that the earth has one second with you to chat happily with your girlfriends the next second with others to tell you bad words, I found that the earth has a biased parents and grandma and grandma, I found that the earth has those who do not know anything but blindly commented on the keyboard warrior, etc., the next time I really don't want to come to the earth again!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, hello! Nice to meet you, although I don't know what you look like, I don't know what kind of person you are, tall, short, fat, skinny, but I'm still glad to meet you in this world. We may be thousands of kilometers away from each other now, or even farther. But because we are both on this earth, we are connected to our cell phones and know each other's existence, don't you think that's an amazing thing? I often speculate that if I hadn't drunk the \"Meng Po Soup\", if I still had the \"memories of my past life\", would I have regretted coming to this world? Such questions are occasionally in my mind when I am bored and depressed. It's amazing how human beings can think, and how we can look at people and things in the world with our current subjective perceptions of what is right and what is wrong. The question I've always wanted to ask is why keep obsessing about right and wrong? We come to this world, we come, why dwell on questions that have no answers in themselves, and by dwelling on them do you have the answers? Then I would like to ask do you know and understand the purpose and meaning of your coming to this world? The Analects of Confucius says, \"If you are here, you should be at peace. Since you have come, you should settle down well here. Before I think the earth is very good but now slowly grow up, I found that the earth has one second with you happy chatting with your girlfriends the next second with others to say bad things about you, I found that the earth has a bias of the parents have and grandma grandmother, I found that the earth has those who don't know anything but blindly commented on keyboard warrior, etc., the next time I really don't want to come to the earth again! I used to think that the world was nice and people were nice and kind. Now that I've grown up, I realize that it's not the same anymore. My former friends and companions will be separated, and my relatives will pass away one after another. There are also biased parents, chewing friends, and have been spit on and slandered by keyboard warriors. It's not just me, it's not just you, every single person that exists in this world goes through what you're talking about. Each and every one of us has grown from wailing babies to independent adults. We used to enjoy the love and care given to us by others and now that we are grown up, we need to care for ourselves. The people who used to care for us are old and gone, and now we have people we need to care for. Isn't this kind of reincarnation what we are here to do? Growing up is not just a change in size, but also a change in mind and heart. Each person is an individual and independent being, we will do anything for what we want, what we want to guard, naturally other people will too, so when the interests of both sides conflict, problems will come out. We feel that our parents favor us because we want more love, we feel angry at what the outside world says because we want a good name or fairness and because we are incapable of curbing it ourselves. The owner asks if he will come back to earth next time. We don't even know the end of this life, so why ask about this distant and vain thing? Since we have chosen this earth, we should take a good look at this world and taste all the sweet and sour, and it is not in vain to come here for nothing. We all like to avoid harm, when we meet the heart happy to have the benefits, want to take the inexhaustible. When we encounter harmful pain always want to avoid it. Woe is the dependence of the blessing, blessing is the dependence of the disaster, we do not know which in the end is right. It is better to live it freely. At present, the scientific view of mankind is material, so the owner of the past life of this life and the next life can not be proved for the \"evidence\". So let's live well in this material world first! I wish you well and a happy life.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "There are strangers on earth who tell you that your shoelace is loose, there is true love on earth, and there is a lot of beauty on earth. Do not seek to come back to earth in the next life, at least in this life, can not treat yourself badly, the experience have to experience, can not come in vain. As long as you accept the initial role set, the plot of what retrograde to the top, all rely on themselves. \u0b18(\u0a6d\u02ca\ua4b3?)\u0a6d earth is worth it.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 9773
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I have low self-esteem, always think negatively, and am anxious every day?",
        "description": "Recently got into the teacher's establishment, but feel very low self-esteem, very introverted, I do not know if I can do a good job, today went to the Education Bureau to adjust the file, my father accompanied me to go, most of the whole process is my father to help me, but I also said, when I want to say, my father asked the people a step ahead of the time, I may have a social phobia, the face of the two staff members I'm very nervous, hope to do it quickly to hurry up and go, but I realized that I hadn't applied online yet, and I could only get the file if I did. It took me half a day to get it done, and my dad was there to help me ask the staff, so I felt that I had to ask my dad to help me with this little thing, so how could I face it in the future, and I felt that I was terrible!",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello~~~ first give the owner a hug, from the description can be understood 1. feel that they may not have the ability to complete the current things 2. always need the help of the father, feel ashamed [a little analysis and suggestions] 1. in the work of learning to deal with the world and the family environment, the process of growing up have a lot to do with. The owner mentioned that he was going to say, but his father asked the question first and spoke first. Has this been the case since childhood? The parents were always very concerned about the owner and were able to help the owner deal with a lot of things before the owner could react. If so, perhaps the owner has formed a kind of dependence on others, which is not only the owner's problem, and the parents' upbringing has a lot to do with.2. Although the family environment has an impact on the owner, but can determine the future direction of the owner, or the owner's own initiative. Perhaps the owner can try to communicate with their parents to discuss, the owner of the next time to do these things by themselves, first of all, their own thinking to deal with the problems encountered and then go to ask their parents, so that the owner can find their own is not not going to deal with these, but just need a period of time to learn and adapt. I hope to help the owner.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12025
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you deal with someone who likes violence?",
        "description": "How do you deal with someone who likes violence?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Conflict, Interpersonal Boundaries, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! You must have suffered from a violent person to get rid of this unwarranted pain by consulting such a question. Your teacher will first give you a hug and bring you a little warmth! The person whose violence becomes a habit is generally a personality disorder. The fault does not lie with him, but with his upbringing, and he is actually a victim under violence. It is in his consciousness that the best way to solve problems is violence. Because that's the way he was accepted, he grew up in an atmosphere filled with violence. He does not see violence as an undesirable method of communication. It's like [a filial son under the stick], following the educational model of the previous generation in treating the children of the new age. They think it is a thousand-true educational model. In the face of such people, you can only protect yourself. In most cases, avoid getting along, avoid if you can't afford to mess with them, turn a blind eye and stay away. Being gentle is the best way to give him warmth and let his irritation go out in meekness.",
          "has_label": true,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Depends on what the man is and his relationship to you. If he is a police officer, his violence is work, if he is a thug, his violence requires the police to fight violence with violence. If he is your elder, he needs to be forgiven, but stay away from him. If he is your equal, he needs to be told to be peaceful or someone more violent is waiting for him. If he is your partner, he needs to be told. You can't do this or you'll lose him. If he has nothing to do with i, let him be. Mind your own business.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 6128
       },
       {
        "question": "What's wrong with wanting to die when life doesn't make sense, and impulsively slitting your wrists and doing things that hurt you?",
        "description": "I used to be happy and think self-harm and all that was silly, not wanting to die and wanting to learn, and the future was all about hope, and now it's just the opposite",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, hugs to the owner, I wonder what kind of things the owner has been through to get such extreme thoughts. The owner says she feels that life has no meaning. Actually, I think the meaning of life is what you give yourself. Everyone has a different definition of life, and everyone has a different position for themselves. You feel that you have no meaning now, you feel that there is no meaning in living. That's because you don't have a goal for yourself. First you have to have a clear goal for yourself and a definition of life. For example, if you are a student now, you should first make a study plan for yourself, for example, in how long you want to make your study achieve which kind of effect. If you are working now, you can also set goals for yourself, such as what you want to achieve in a few years. You will find the meaning of your life when you organize your life to the fullest. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1899
       },
       {
        "question": "13 Men have been doing something for a long time and suddenly feel so childish when they do it, what kind of mentality?",
        "description": "Sometimes, doing something, the heart suddenly have a thought that you do this is so childish ah, a sudden rejection and disgust, may I ask what this is the psychological, often when I was a child, grew up not a few times",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello 13-year-old boy, see your words, I think of adolescence you began to have doubts about their own ideas, a rejection and aversion, feel that it is a part of growing up, if you can give an example, you would like to talk about it in detail? I saw you say that there is a generation gap in communication with your parents, maybe your parents haven't learned how to communicate with you yet, or they haven't let go of their subjective will and haven't listened to you, so it's normal for you to have a dislike for them. If possible, would you like to try to use letters to express what you want to say to your parents? That's all I can think of, good luck, young man, I think it's a great way for you to know how to ask for help at such an age!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20769
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there a less painful or miserable way to do this?",
        "description": "With futures through debt and nothing left to lose, and parents pushing to get married, is there a way to do this that isn't so painful or miserable?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Stress Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject recommend you to watch a movie that I believe will be a great inspiration for you right now. It's a movie based on a true story. It's called \"Happiness Comes Knocking\", the main character faces the same situation as you, he pressed all his money on a batch of medical equipment, but it's hard to sell, his family can't make ends meet, and his wife has left him. When he couldn't afford to rent a room, he slept with his children in the toilets of subway stations and lined up for relief beds. He was able to work, take care of his children, and sell instruments at the same time. Although it was very hard, he got through it, and later had a successful career, and even started his own company. When he learned that he had been hired by a securities firm, his eyes glistened with tears of excitement and he didn't know what to say. I think, at that moment, he must have been very grateful for his persistence and hard work in the past six months. I believe that after watching the movie, you can harvest the power of perseverance from it. Debt, no matter how much debt there is, but there is always a limit, and it can be repaid one day. And life is priceless and cannot be measured by any amount of money. Although your parents are pushing you to get married, it's your own business, and if you don't want to do it, no one else can force you to do it. You can treat your parents with a \"gentle but firm\" attitude, firm in attitude, but gentle in tone, good talk, good talk. Don't give up on yourself, there will be pain in any way, living well is the greatest treasure! When you get through this, you will be just like the main character in the movie, and will surely be grateful for your perseverance and not giving up. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17112
       },
       {
        "question": "How can you regulate yourself out of autism, anxiety and depression?",
        "description": "Unlike other families, dad came to mom's house. Junior high school when mom cheated, sophomore parents divorced, at that time, fortunately there is a grandmother to accompany, senior summer with the same mother's brother because of mom's sake of the right hand disability, at the same time she gave birth to the cheating object of the youngest son, at that time, I lost control of my emotions, almost drop dead that brother. It was hard to make it to the beginning of freshman year of college and leave the family, but as a result of sophomore year of college, grandma left, and at that time, I felt that the sky had fallen. Freshman year, my dad got married and had a half-sister the same year. When my grandmother died and was buried, my dad's brother and sister-in-law came to the house and made a big scene for other reasons. Junior year, mom left the cheating partner because of another man, went to her last semester of junior year on October 1, I was molested by her new guy, I smashed him and cried to my mom, who told me it was because I was overthinking it. Went back to school that night, and as a result, for New Year's, she brought him home, I made a big scene, which didn't end up working out, so I went to a relative's house. After that, I didn't care about her, elders all kinds of persuade me to accept that man, don't dare to open up and tell the reason why disgusted him. After that I just as forget about this matter, when he does not exist, graduated three years, but also slowly try to repair and my mom relationship.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, trauma therapy, talking and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, hug the little subject, the cruelty of real life, a little girl who could have been enjoying this beautiful world, tossed to autism, anxiety, depression, really aggrieved you. See your experience, a family turmoil and conflicts, one incident after another, you are exhausted, unbearable, face the reality, you can not help, insomnia, pain and despair, resulting in almost can not live and work normally. Really sympathize with you and hug you again, dear boy. Your current situation is that due to various factors, mom and dad started separate families, after various events, you worked, then went to mom's, then came out again, which are all mixed with a lot of your conflicting emotions in it, grandma passed away, your only support was lost, and you feel like the sky is falling down. Thinking about it, you still think you should make up with your family, have affection, you want to make up with your mom, several times, struggling, but still did not achieve their expected life, you feel that the people around you do not understand you, and even want to get rid of life. Here, I would like to say, children, there is a saying, happy families are similar, unfortunate families have their own misfortunes. Your family, this happened, no one wants to face, but it happened, we have to face the reality, to smooth out, so that our life state become better, believe in their own strength. There's a saying, \"Except for life and death, it's all trivial.\" Isn't that right? Child, for the moment, I invite you, to think about this: \ud83e\udd9aWhat do you most want to do at the moment? \ud83e\udd9a What expectations do you want to fulfill? \ud83e\udd9a And then what are you going to do about it? \ud83e\udd9a Can you meet your expectations in your current situation? \ud83e\udd9aIf you can't, how can you effectively de-escalate the conflict and achieve improvement? \ufe0f Suggest calming down and looking inside yourself, is what you used to do whether it was with your mom, or people around you, appropriate, and if it is not, then how can you adjust it? There are always more solutions than difficulties, as long as given patience, love, tolerance, everything is not a problem. \ufe0f then suggest two, find an opportunity, about the mom, a good conversation, talk about your own thoughts and feelings, to do the real heart communication, the way and the way to stay sober, push the heart, calm and quiet, you grow up, is already an adult, I believe you can do it. \ufe0f Suggestion three, you can find a friend to chat and talk, the pain and unhappiness of the heart out, spit out the heart, slowly release some. \ufe0fSuggestion four, psychological counseling is actually a very good choice, but since the subject said he is not willing, it means that he still has the ability and power to solve the problem. Finally, I wish you to get out of the shackles of the mind as soon as possible and face a better life.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Listen to your story, feel so complicated, but feel your complaints about your mother, and no wonder, such a mother, who are not willing to accept, but life is like this, the more unacceptable the more we have to accept, otherwise we ourselves will be drowning in it, no matter what kind of person mom is, are different choices of their respective destinies, do the sons and daughters of the respect for her life choices, we can only be responsible for their own lives, she no matter what, ask Under what they want, to be affected by a variety of family bloodshed drama, and the weight forward, or do you want to pursue a different state of life, you'll be for the life you want to work hard, first let yourself independent, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Unexpectedly, in this year, they are doing business, lack of people, usually a year does not pass a phone call to the mom, 5 phone calls a day semi-compulsive for me to leave the job, consider three months, because of the epidemic, the foreign trade industry is not very good, {I graduated from the kind of very common working people (want to take the public and so on, mom thinks not to fight for money)} went back, stayed in her company for about 10 days, because of the reasons, has been disgusted with the man, and he started an argument after that, he raised his hand to hit me. After the man, and he got into an argument, he raised his hand to hit me, but fortunately someone next to me pulled a bit, my mom was also watching, after I made a fuss, overnight to send me away, the car my mom has been saying that I'm too impulsive, I should not lose my temper. After that, I looked for a job again and went to work. There used to be the kind of balcony looking down, think very low, jump down should also be fine, sometimes try to climb the window guardrail, a foot really buried out, I'm afraid. During the day, sometimes involuntary tears, but only sometimes, can not sleep at night is also sometimes, but recently insomnia is really serious. Often sleepless night after night, daytime work napping. For various reasons, I don't dare to talk about this with my friends. But recently, I feel that my anxiety and insomnia is serious again, I just want to help myself, do not want to go to the hospital, do not want to face the psychiatrist. I just want to help myself, I don't want to go to the hospital, I don't want to face a psychiatrist.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 11759
       },
       {
        "question": "15 Female, how can thoughts and urges to hurt others be stopped?",
        "description": "It's getting worse every day, from just \"wanting to kill someone\" to walking around with a knife, and I feel like the urge to kill is gradually turning into behavior. I get excited or even happy when I think about killing someone, or the death of a person. I was depressed before, but in the past few months I've gradually changed from hurting myself to \"wanting\" to hurt someone else. The person I want to kill can be anyone, such as my parents and friends. I stood in front of my parents' bed with a knife, but I didn't do it, but I was thinking more about my future, and I stood behind my friend with a pointed rock, but I was forced to stop by reason. I'm helpless because I really want to kill someone but get frustrated thinking that if I kill one person I won't necessarily be able to kill a second and hesitate to do it. How do I stop that thought?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Violence, Aggression, Suspiciousness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your description, I just want to give you a big hug ...... It's really, really amazing that you're in such a young grade to be able to think about your future, to be able to restrain your impulse to attack with reason, and to want to get help here to stop those thoughts. I wonder what you have encountered and experienced before? I've heard that people who have subconsciously repressed anger and resentment inside them can over time manifest it in ways like you have, and that hurting yourself or others is aggressive. As paradoxical as it is, I think the premise of this aggressiveness is, most likely, just to protect yourself. The principle is like holding enough gas in a pressure cooker, you always need an outlet to release it, that's why the outlet of a pressure cooker is also called a safety valve. If there is no this valve to decompress, the pressure cooker is going to burst ...... At the same time, because you are small in grade and unconsciously repressing too much, you rely on yourself for a moment is very difficult to identify and dissolve this part of the stuff. Getting to know yourself - that's a very, very difficult thing for any adult to do. So, I also agree with the advice said upstairs: you need to seek the help of a professional counselor. I hope you know that being brave enough to seek help is not something to be ashamed of. It's not you who should be ashamed, it's the people who have hurt you. One of my favorite quotes is from Rumi's poem, Everything has a crack, that's where the light shines in. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject when thinking like this it is advisable to seek help from a guardian or a professional. This is your responsibility to yourself and to others. #In fact, you really can not impose judgment on your current state. Because we don't know if you have any physical or physiological abnormalities. Assuming that it is a physical condition, it could also lead to a bad mood, reinforcing your thoughts of \"harm\". #On the other hand, when you say that every day is getting \"worse\", is this worse in terms of life events or in terms of your mental state? Let's assume it's the first case, the life events. If you can change your environment, you may feel better. Assuming it's your mental state, you need to go for professional counseling or checkup. Good luck~ Mitsukoshi.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Haha, sister, I'm the same age as you oh, I occasionally encounter very annoying people and things, will be very excited, very angry, but I know that it is not right to hurt others, is against the law oh. Impulse is the devil, but if we can restrain it, the devil can't do anything to us! If you have that urge to kill someone, you can buy a rag doll that doesn't break easily, and you can whack it and squeeze it when you're angry. This is just my personal opinion, I do this when I'm angry. Haha, I hope it works for you!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 19706
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it that when you were a kid you could usually study, but when you took a test you couldn't and dreaded the competition?",
        "description": "Since I was a child, I usually study well, but when it comes to exams, I don't play well and I'm prone to carelessness and mistakes. Sports programs are usually fine, but not when it comes to competitions. Now that I'm working, I get nervous and anxious when I see competition programs.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Anxiety, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, hello ~~~ want to give you a warm hug ~~ also want to say, I also experienced this situation, usually homework and practice completed very well, as long as the test is involved, it will be a problem, the result is not very satisfactory. This situation may be that we are too worried too nervous about the results of the test, because it is a test, so we want to get good grades, which is human nature. But want to get good grades may be too much attention to the process of the test, may put too much energy on how to write each question, so that write whether it is complete, whether there are other ways to answer, or whether the teacher likes this answer. Usually in the homework, people are in a more relaxed state, that is, they understand what they have learned to write on the paper, I believe that I write good, if there are incomplete, next time you can change; and once the test, may feel that this is a final test or decision, which may affect the future motivation to study, the teacher's eyes, and the mood of the parents. In fact, homework and exams are to reflect whether they have fully mastered the knowledge, if not, then again to supplement, so that they will not forget later. If you answer every test as if it were your usual homework, and if you conduct every competition as if it were your usual training, it may be a lot easier, so that all the energy is put into answering the questions, rather than spreading the energy in places such as wondering whether you have answered the questions correctly, and so on, and if you just pay full attention to simply answering the questions, then you show the knowledge or skills you have mastered, and it is easy to get good grades that way. When it comes to exams or competitions they need to be taken seriously, they need to be reviewed or practiced over and over again before them to be as thorough as possible, but when it comes time to start the exams or competitions it may be possible to think of them as ordinary homework and not be overly nervous about the whole thing, and you may just get the desired result. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 15622
       },
       {
        "question": "13, 14 in a month, recently broke up with my best friend, what do you think?",
        "description": "I'm a resident student in my third year of junior high school, we go on vacation every two weeks my best friend and I started playing at the end of the second semester of our second year of junior high school and then this semester her grades dropped because I'm more humorous I'm under a lot of pressure but I'm pretty good at bearing it but she isn't she said that if she played with me she would forget about the pressure she would just want to have fun and without that sense of oppression she would be unable to learn I think that she would be able to pick it up again if she just adapted to the situation because I'm also slowly making progress with this kind of thing she doesn't think it's her parents I think it's because of her parents her mother left after giving birth to her her father has been very busy so she's been living alone and playing with me before that she's been alone and has no friends so she's more self-centered the girls in my class say she's got a princess disease and only cares about herself I've got a lot of friends she's the only one she's more tolerant of me she's usually too lazy to do my homework so she'll just send me the answers she's asking for money kind of thing, but I think that giving her money is the same as buying her a cup of tea I think it's a good idea to buy her milk tea but she once got serious because my price was too low I raised it later and she was happier but she's also very nice to me she'll change anything I say and she'll also prepare my birthday gift she's boring but she's still nice but I think it's because of her lack of friends that she's nice to everyone What do you guys think about that?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Konai good ah, after reading the description of the subject can feel the subject and the other party's relationship is still quite good, I do not know what happened between the subject and the other party, to suddenly split it? Although the other side of a little problem, but no one is perfect, and this has a lot to do with the environment in which she grew up. Mom gave birth to the other side left, Dad has been busy with work as the reason, not accompanied by her side, so many years she has not been any good friends, but as long as she becomes her friend, she will do her best to others, just some problems can not be changed all of a sudden, such as borrowing our answers and we want to cost this thing, I do not know the other side of the usual cost of living is how much, Dad to give is enough for Is it enough for her to live? If her father does not give her enough money to live, she can only make a living through some other ways. If there are other hidden reasons, we can also ask the other party why they have such thoughts and methods, and maybe after understanding them, they will have other feelings? There is also the way to get along with each other, the subject belongs to the personality cheerful, friends are more, deal with the problem is also changeable, so what problems to deal with a little easier than the other side, and her friends are less, what is often put in the bottom of the heart, so it will be more cherished now friends, but self-control is general, so sometimes play will forget their own center of gravity. So we can think about themselves and each other apart because of what, this friendship whether to continue, in fact, good friends have differences between is very normal, just we need to learn to understand each other and support. The world and I love you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 2720
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if I always love to help people, but I seem too \"hot-headed\"?",
        "description": "What if you always love to help people, but seem too hotheaded? How do warm-hearted people handle relationships?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You are a very enthusiastic person who loves to help others, which is really rare, kudos to you! Maybe your enthusiasm to help will make some people feel uncomfortable, do not accept, you feel very troubled, right? Indeed, in interpersonal communication, sometimes too enthusiastic and passionate initiative will also make the other party uncomfortable and resistant. ****** In interpersonal relationships, there is a \"safe social distance\", which is a psychological distance that will be reflected by the physical distance and the behavior of both parties. People have different intimate relationships with each other, and therefore have different \"safe distances\". For example, if you have a close family relationship with your parents or lover, your safe distance is very small, it can be 0 meters, and you can be very close to each other, holding hands and hugging. You and your friends are more intimate relationship, this safe distance can be around 0.5 meters. Psychologist Duncan has suggested that the normal interpersonal safe distance is 1.2 meters, which is the distance between you and others in public social situations. When this safe distance is breached, people will have a sense of threat and insecurity of being intruded upon, and will instead resist and back away and avoid. When you are eager to help others, perhaps unintentionally too close to the other side of the close, breaking the safe distance, so that others feel uncomfortable. ****** In interpersonal communication and mutual assistance, in addition to pay attention to interpersonal safety distance, but also pay attention to the sense of boundary and sense of proportion. People are independent individuals, with independence and autonomy, no matter to what people, need to establish certain boundaries, separate their own things, do not arbitrarily intervene, which is a kind of respect and trust each other's performance. The principle of reciprocity is a psychological phenomenon in interpersonal communication. Unilateral over-enthusiasm to take the initiative to help others while ignoring their needs and thoughts, without asking them to give back, but will cause misunderstanding and discomfort - others may feel that this kind of help they do not need, may feel that this kind of help is a kind of charity and interference, may feel that this kind of help is a kind of burden, and may be worried about the not being able to return your help ...... It is evident that overzealousness in helping others can also undermine the principles of interpersonal interaction and cause the opposite effect. Therefore, it is necessary to establish a sense of boundaries with people and maintain a certain sense of proportion. ****** This is not to say that you can't help others, but when you want to help others, you must first restrain yourself, stop, think for yourself, and understand the situation first - to see if the other person can solve the problem by himself? Does he or she need help? Do you have the ability and time to help? What is the appropriate way to help? How much help is appropriate? You can ask the person if they need help before you help them, giving them respect and choice, and giving them the opportunity to voice their needs. Sometimes help does not necessarily have to do what the actual behavior, give what the actual material, just some words to express the attitude, spiritual encouragement, to others is also a kind of help and support. And this is not easy to give the other side of the psychological burden. Enthusiasm to help others is a virtue, I hope you do not feel guilty, and do not have self-doubt. As long as you think a little more beforehand, pay attention to the proportion, grasp a degree, it's fine.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "It's a good thing that you like to help people, it makes your relationships better. In the process of helping people, you can also experience happiness and a sense of value. Of course, if you help others without any principles, there will be some problems. You can set up some simple principles for yourself - 1, do not take the initiative to help others when they do not need help. Do not take the initiative to help others when they are not seeking help. When others don't need our help, our help may annoy the other person, and the other person may feel that we are meddling. When the other person does not seek help, we can assume that the other person does not need help. We have to believe that if he needs help, then he will have a way to seek help, after all, the other person is likely to have been an adult, or is very sensible people. 2, only do to help others is the need to do things, but not too much interference in others. For example, if someone needs you to help him get a courier, then you only need to get the courier, and then find an opportunity to give it to him. You don't have to help him open the courier. 3, don't do things you don't want to do. When others seek your help, some times you find yourself difficult to do, some times those things you do not want to do, in this case, you can be appropriate to refuse. It is your right to refuse. Good luck ~.",
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        "questionID": 7398
       },
       {
        "question": "Married ladies, why do I always feel in my heart that the men around me will like me?",
        "description": "1, but around a bit of value, a bit of ability of male colleagues, male leaders, I will be in the heart of the \"heart\" secretly think that this person will like me (in fact, the male colleagues did not do anything out of line), I will be shy, it will be very unnatural to get along with others, the eyes of the eyes flicker, the body will also become stiff. 2, my Average looking, a married lady with a baby, and respectful to my husband. I also clearly understand that with these male colleagues everyone is a very normal relationship. 3. I wonder if it could be related to my parents' education? When I was in school, my parents have always instilled in me, not allowed to fall in love, not allowed to fall in love, I thought at the time, not allowed to fall in love, not to get along with the boys do not give the opportunity, not will not fall in love. So it was not until I was 30 years old that I succeeded in marrying my current husband for the \"first time in love\". 4, I would like to change my immature, double-minded behavior? Am I lacking love? My husband is a mute person, not very good at taking care of people, I can't change him, I can only change myself. Please help me to analyze and provide feasible methods. Thank you!",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ very understand your feelings, hug you ~ think like this is relatively normal, do not need to worry too much haha. Psychologically speaking, always feeling that others are paying attention to you and like you is related to the focus effect. The focus effect, also called the social focus effect, is a manifestation of people overestimating the attention paid to their appearance and behavior by those around them. The Focus Effect means that humans tend to see themselves as the center of everything and intuitively overestimate how much attention others pay to us. The Focus Effect is actually something everyone experiences, a state of mind that makes us overly focused on ourselves and overly concerned about how much attention people around us pay to us at parties or work gatherings. This is a normal phenomenon. In addition, it may be that your heart desires to be liked, so you tend to judge the opposite sex as liking yourself. The predominance of subjective judgment and less objective validation also suggests retaining confidence in yourself and an inner vigor that wants to explode. Feeling that others like you is fine, it's an optimistic expectation that can motivate you to be positive with the opposite sex. Your real problem may be an inner constriction, an inability to let go, stemming from the lack of a good interpersonal atmosphere and experience in getting along with people at an early age. Just as you feel that you may not be able to master the interpersonal relationship to get along with the distance, and feel that certain ideas of getting along with the opposite sex are not rational, these ideas will make you unable to let go, very constrained, and even intentionally or unintentionally avoid contact with the opposite sex. Regardless of our EQ, IQ, and IQ, the most important thing is to accept our past, present, and future selves with confidence and enthusiasm, and to stay happy in the present moment. Take your time to accept yourself, learn to get along with people without being condescending, and just keep a suitable and comfortable distance from other people. Best wishes ~.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, building owner. Hugs to you ~ a few points of analysis: (probably, not necessarily) one, rather than a lack of love, you have, over the years, lacked the experience of being with the opposite sex. However, people naturally want to get the attention and affection of the opposite sex. The \"focus effect\" is magnified in your case, so you feel uncomfortable in the presence of the opposite sex. Second, your adolescence, you may not have the experience of establishing friendship with men, so when you grow up, do not know how to develop normal friendship with men, guess the owner of the normal communication, say a word or two, there should be no problem, just a little bit deeper relationship is very easy to \"understand\" slip into \"love \"I'm not sure if you're a good person or a good person. That is to say, in your mode of thinking and practice, between men and women only \"general\" (nodding acquaintance) and love, the lack of intermediate transition link. Third, the adolescent dating needs are not reduced, but silently hidden, so the heart of the fantasy is also a compensation for the self. Four, in your growth path in the role of the opposite sex is weakened, so, perhaps, to a certain extent, you will put them in a mysterious, a little higher position, so that you will be uncomfortable in the company of people, and will put them in the high position of you in the heart will feel some kind of pleasure. Methods: 1. How to treat female colleagues, how to treat male colleagues, the boys as girls to get along. 2. From the general looks of the boys to start, the establishment of a little deeper than a nodding acquaintance friendship, gradually spread to have a face, ability to high 3. Boys are not mysterious, more communication with their husbands, around the good sister, more boys perspective on the emotional posting, more observation of the life of the actual emotional relationship, to solve the mystery of the opposite sex in your mind! Think of the opposite sex of the mystery veil. 4. their own romantic, frankly say their psychological needs (such as hope that her husband to buy flowers, necklaces, etc. - here note to give specific programs, rather than vague let her husband guess), drive her husband to romance. Good luck.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the owner a hug! I can understand the owner's inner repression and desire for \"love\", parents always instill the owner can not fall in love with the idea, but do not take into account the owner's inner feelings, so that the owner at the age of 30 years old before the success of the \"first time to fall in love\", it is difficult to imagine the owner of these more than ten years are It is hard to imagine how the owner has come over these ten years. Usually, when an individual enters puberty and is close to adult physical development, he or she will pay attention to the opposite sex, have a favorable impression of the opposite sex, and want to contact and interact with the opposite sex to establish a relationship, which can be said to be a reflection of the individual's independent consciousness of self-development, and it is a phenomenon of the natural development of the process, which usually begins to appear between the ages of 14 and 16. This period of time and the opposite sex need to establish social relations to meet the individual's inner desire to explore and physical psychological needs, relatively speaking, the same age of girls to be more precocious than boys, by the influence of physiological period, the psychological and emotional fluctuations of the girl's changes, the need to have some physical contact with the opposite sex, such as holding hands and hugging or kissing to get attention to care to satisfy the emotional needs of the inner heart, and these contact with the opposite sex boys and men can not happen with their relatives. These contacts with boys of the opposite sex can not happen with relatives, which leads to the girl in this stage \"must\" with the opposite sex outside the family to establish social relationships. The owner's parents have always instilled in the owner the idea of \"no relationships\", which is equivalent to forcing the owner to curb her sense of independence and self-growth, so that the owner's physical and psychological needs are denied and cannot be satisfied. For them, perhaps they want to use this way to \"control\" the owner, can not fall in love with the owner will not be able to establish a relationship with the opposite sex, will not be cheated and hurt by the opposite sex, will not marry with the opposite sex and leave their parents, so they can continue to have the ability to do as a parent and the value of the parents, which can be said to be their inner needs! This can be said to be their inner need, or they are worried that the owner of the building will no longer be with them after falling in love with the opposite sex and no longer maintain an intimate relationship with them, so they want to curb the owner of the building want to fall in love with the opposite sex, this point is the same as many parents often tell their children, \"this thing can't be touched\" \"that thing can't be touched\", through the same parents often tell their children, \"This thing can't be touched\". This is the same as many parents often say to their children \"this thing can't be touched\", \"that thing can't be touched\", through this way to \"protect\" and \"control\" their children. The owner does not have the experience of love, does not mean that will not be in love with the \"temptation\", in the daily life of the TV drama entertainment media WeChat circle of friends qq and other social software can see the \"dog food show love\" information, more or less in the heart will be a little envious Or expectations, hope to experience the feelings of love, but by the parents can not fall in love with the thought of influence, many times will be forced to repress themselves not to do so. Now the owner has his own family and children, it can be said that a large part of the \"out of\" parental control, equivalent to have some of their own independent autonomous living space, the expectations of the heart without the pressure of parental constraints, will also slowly \"reveal\" out! In addition, the owner's husband is more mute, not very good at taking care of people, it is difficult to bring the owner of that kind of sweet feeling of love, will want to look for their own expectations of the experience to meet the emotional needs of the heart in other members of the opposite sex. According to the owner's age to project, the era of people's thinking by the moral sense of society is still very deep, for many things will be with a strong sense of shame \"\" fear \"\", so it also makes a lot of people in the idea of doing certain things but will not go! This is why many people have the idea of doing certain things but do not do them. Since they take the initiative to contact and socialize with other members of the opposite sex is \"shameful\", then other members of the opposite sex \"pay attention\" to themselves is not under their own control, but also can not be influenced by the sense of morality, and there will be the owner's heart that they will like the owner of those ideas. And the owner will have a certain shy behavior, eyes flashing, body will be stiff, with others to get along with the performance of the unnatural, which highlights the owner of the inner repression of emotion is very much, has reached beyond the scope of the consciousness of the self can control. Therefore, I personally recommend the owner to book a suitable teacher to receive systematic psychological counseling to release the inner repressed emotions, reduce the owner's inner pressure, to help the owner out of this lack of emotional distress.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner: There are observed some symptoms of the owner in the process of getting along with the opposite sex. At the same time also noticed the owner positively expressed their own troubled, and very clearly organized. This can certainly help the owner to better understand themselves, see a deeper level of themselves. Our thoughts are sometimes always two no opposites. When you have an idea that if you don't spend time with boys, you won't fall in love, then the idea of what to do if you spend time with boys and boys like me arises. Now I share my observations, which may help the owner to have a richer perspective on the problems he may have.1. Change the seed, and it will change everythingThe dichotomy of thinking is often that when seed A is planted, the seed of -A is also produced. There are posts in which the owner mentions parenting. Parents have always instilled in me, not allowed to fall in love, not allowed to fall in love, I thought at the time, not allowed to fall in love, not get along with the boys do not give the opportunity, not will not fall in love. This parental education internalized into our hearts became the seed-A, so worried about boys like me how to do? What if I fall in love -A will arise. So the owner projects such thoughts onto the opposite sex and feels that everyone else likes him or her. And one doesn't know how to handle such a situation and one doesn't want it. So one responds with avoidance. So the owner wants to not cling to such ideas, then we must learn not to plant seeds in their own hearts. 2, learn to distinguish what is the projection, what is the reality from the above mentioned, feel around the men like me, perhaps the projection of their own inner thoughts. And from the post, the owner also described the male colleagues did not do anything out of line, and male colleagues are also normal relationships. Then the owner has to tell himself that these are his own fantasies or his own projections, which are not real. Through some and their own internal dialog, to relieve their physical symptoms. So the owner has to properly put down their own imagination, and see the reality. 3, aware of the body's reaction, there will be a more relaxed have observed the owner mentioned in the and some male colleagues will be shy, will be very unnatural to get along with other people, the eyes of the eyes to avoid, the body will also become stiff. Then when you feel your body become stiff and uncomfortable, please focus part of your attention on your own body, especially the uncomfortable parts or stiff parts. Then in spending time with them, often this time there are a few minutes to become comfortable with them. This exercise psychologist Ms. Wu Zhihong also often used in life. With the feeling of physical discomfort to face the problem, you will be more relaxed. This last method is described in detail in Ms. Wu Zhihong's The Body Knows the Answer. It has also helped many people.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Regarding the content described by the subject, I hope that I can change, but I also hope that before answering, I can ask myself what was in my mind when I had such a wish to change? Why do you wish you could change? Here to share with you a few content. 1, we generally in the interpersonal relationship, and the opposite sex or around your people get along well, because we in the small time, have and around people get along with the \"experience\", how to make friends with the children, and how to interact with them. If adults, at that time, feel that you should not be around people of the opposite sex, that they are hurting you, or that you want to protect your child, and prevent your child from interacting with other children, it will affect your child's ability to build relationships with other people. Also as you said yourself, not being around boys doesn't give you a chance to be in a relationship. And the subject didn't have a successful relationship until 30. Perhaps in this harm, only slowly try to change, the original father's \"teachings\" - not allowed to fall in love. 2, and happened to the subject, and the opposite sex to get along with the relationship, but also because, the opposite sex to get along with the experience of less, or that, do not know how to get along, also There is an unnatural way of getting along with each other. The boundary of getting along with each other, they also do not know how to grasp. 3, talking about the subject's husband and wife relationship, the partner is not very good at taking care of people, mute. In a way, myself and my partner are pretty much the same. Doesn't know how to express his feelings to the person he cares about, how to do something to make the other person happy. How do you spend your wedding anniversary? How did you feel when the other person didn't prepare a gift and how did you express your feelings? What would the other person's feelings be?4. The subject actually has his own ideas and thoughts about relationships, but why did he start to fall in love only at the age of 30? What happened in the middle of it? It is also generally understood that the father may still \"intervene\" in his own relationship or marriage even after he has become an adult. Or that the subject still cares about what his father thinks. (A term that comes to mind is \"Daddy's girl\"? The female version of the mama's boy - these words are just words to define certain actions and behaviors.) If one \"follows\" the father's advice or the advice of others, one wonders if the father is too strong to express himself, or if he doesn't know how to talk about it? Or, did he agree with the father because he didn't want him to be sad? The reason why I care about this issue is because the subject's views and thoughts are subject to a lot of \"shackles\", is locked. 30 years old before falling in love, can also be said, 30 years old before they have their own ideas, can also be said, 30 years old, only began to have their own, 30 years old, thoughts, and other things, belong to the other people's concepts. In the previous 30 years, there was no ego. Even if there was, you didn't dare to express it. And now the subject is slowly finding himself, began to speak out, the husband's mute. The subject's \"adolescence\" is also beginning to arrive, try to express their own dissatisfaction, and difficult. \"Adolescence is not exclusive to teenagers. Adolescents are characterized by the emergence of their own ideas, the fact that their parents are no longer the authority, and the fact that they try to fight against the \"authority\". They slowly begin to value their own feelings, happiness, sadness, and so on. Because the subject has been disciplined since childhood and not allowed to fall in love, it is also the parental authority that has been deep into the subject's heart. Because the authority is too strong, it is not allowed to resist. Furthermore, the state of a child is very weak, with no economic power and no possibility of surviving alone. In other words, the individual is not strong enough to survive on his own. That is, until the age of 30, when one is married, has a stable emotional relationship, and a certain economic foundation, and has a backing. Only slowly try to, to \"rebel\". To a certain extent, it is not from the original family, do not feel, \"stability\". When children feel \"fear\", they do not show their feelings and moods. Take the example of the spoiled children we often see around us, who are spoiled and pampered, and they will demand and express their various emotions without fear. Because in those children's hearts, they feel that their families will always be there for me, will never leave me, and will always fulfill my requests even if I am spirited or play with my temper. Therefore, it is also speculated that the subject's situation in childhood may have been harsh. Rarely asked about the subject's feelings, etc. The subject is somewhat very good and will think of changing from himself. But also want to know that we, as respondents, are only providing space and ways to understand and think. But know that our understanding of you is also the information you provide, among them, there may also be subjective guesses and conjectures, the objective situation and how, for example, you and your partner how to get along with each other, why they would say that the other party is wooden, what his behavior what behavior, is to make you feel that he is more wooden. So, it is more difficult to give to reach the content that is suitable for your situation. Based on your situation, also give the following suggestions. 1, if from the point of view of improving the relationship between husband and wife, try to express what they want, the partner is more mute people, guess what they want, the other side will most likely go to achieve. So, directly mention their own needs. 2, try to learn to express their favorite things, hobby things. If not, try to experience a different life, different from the previous, enjoy the process, and slowly find to make yourself feel happy, try to stick to it. 3, more and other people to talk about the relationship with the opposite sex, you can also go to talk to your partner. In the conversation with other people will find a different way to get along. 4, finally, will still suggest that it is best to consult a professional counselor, after all, a professional person, do professional things.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see words like face, can see your confusion, I hope my words can be useful to you. First, analyze - and husband respect like a guest, but around a bit of value, a bit of ability of male colleagues, male leaders, the heart will be \"apathetic\" of the poking and prodding that this person will like me - -From the owner's words can see the owner and her husband have a baby, but respect each other as guests, coupled with the owner used the word \"heart of the horse\", so I would like to ask the owner and her husband's sex life how it? The owner is able to rationally know that her relationship with her male colleagues is normal, but her body becomes stiff and unnatural. The owner mentions that men around her who have a little face value and some ability will have this condition, in fact, subconsciously regard these men as \"sexual fantasy objects\", so the owner will be unnatural. -Don't let you fall in love, don't get along with boys, don't give the opportunity, don't fall in love -Because of the family's education, cause yourself don't give boys the opportunity to get along with each other, so get along with the boys rarely, will lead to not very good at getting along with the men, every time you get along, may be the words of parents. There will also be what the parents said. Second, a few suggestions [on the \"three hearts and two minds\"] the release of sexual desire to find a suitable method will be pressed in the depths of sexual desire to be released, and so on sexual desire can be released, there will not be so much of the heart. Relaxation of the psyche, the release of the movement to find their favorite things to do, listen to music, shopping, reading books, take the children to go out to play with ...... can relax their psyche, the appropriate exercise exercise can be reasonable to release the excess of their own energy, will not be so easy to think about it. [about the husband's mute and will not take care of people] more communication, mutual understanding of mute, will not take care of people, this is all can be changed. As Chilam Cheung said, \"two people together, not 1 + 1 into 2, should be 0.5 + 0.5 into 1, that is, half of their own ideas, half of their dignity, half of the things are taken away, and then the rest of the half, to cater to each other's half, and it becomes one.\" Husband in marriage is also need to teach, sometimes you can communicate with your husband more, let him know your thoughts and attitudes, so that so that two people's ideas exchange, communication, can give each other a better understanding of each other. Tolerance of the shortcomings of the husband, digging the advantages of the husband is not a man is perfect, so that people are completely satisfied, he married two people, the distance is close, the shortcomings will be exposed, tolerance of the shortcomings of the husband, seriously to dig the advantages of the husband. Generally speaking, mute people will be more simple, sincere, no fancy little smarts, able to single-mindedly ...... so that you can also let you see your husband's excellent place, so that the marriage is better. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Lou Lou, hello ah ~ feel your trouble, hug \ufe0f \ufe0f \ufe0f \ufe0f can understand you with the male colleagues around the male leadership will be shy, will be very unnatural, eyes to avoid, the body will become stiff. This is the character of more introverted social phobia manifestation. At the same time, this also has a certain relationship with the family of origin, your parents in your school time, has been instilled, not allowed to fall in love, and then rarely get along with the boys, growing up in an environment where there are very few boys, resulting in the back of the contact with the boys will be shy, not natural, body stiff. How to solve it demeanor should try to be casual usually do not pay too much attention to their demeanor. Normal social activities, does not carry any mysterious color, but only between the social interaction and social interaction and entertainment. Therefore, pay too much attention to their social mannerisms is redundant, easy-going, generous, natural, usually how to say, how to do, socializing is also so, a long time, socializing on the habit. Open yourself up, communicate with people at the same time you also need to slowly open yourself up, out of their comfort zone, more communication and chatting with people, this is just a process, do not be anxious, to believe that you can do. Communicate with people more, exercise yourself, read more, improve yourself, try to change yourself, let yourself become a better person. [Where around a little face value, a little ability of male colleagues, male leaders, the heart will be \"heart of the horse\" secretly poked and prodded that this person will like their own] First of all, I admire your courage, you are a more confident person, and there is a little bit of small narcissism, think around the boys are all in the crush on you, in fact, this is not a big problem! It's not a big deal. This is a manifestation of relationship delusion. The solution can go to a psychiatrist, so that they can give you professional psychological guidance. Of course, you can also do some appropriate self-adjustment, such as changing the environment and mood, improve self-knowledge, the people around you to do some objective investigation and understanding, and then overthrow their original wrong ideas, and ultimately achieve the purpose of psychological balance. [Husband is a mute person, not very good at taking care of people] your husband is not he will not express, not romantic ah, in fact, feelings do not necessarily have to be placed on the mouth, to see what he did in action, doubt that they are not lack of love, because they do not feel their own husbands care for their own care and love, we can be quiet, try to feel. If you want to change the status quo, try those little suggestions below! How to do it available action to influence him can take him to the more lively occasions to play, to make more friends. Take the initiative to tell jokes with your husband and communicate with a humorous attitude. With some practical actions to influence him, over time, he will be affected by your behavior. Directly tell your demand to accept his shortcomings, not to say that you have to resign yourself to this. You can use some actions to influence him, change him. For example, directly and clearly and he said, you do not like this mute him, you like lively him, you want him to change for you. Feelings are needed to grind two people love each other again, there will be friction of character. Because every person is an individual, so every pair of lovers are to grind each other, in the appreciation of each other's advantages, at the same time can not dislike each other's shortcomings, because that is part of him. Learn to appreciate his strengths in the first place because of what he chose him as a boyfriend, see what his strengths. Nowadays, you should not only see his shortcomings, but you should come up with the advantages when you chose him to see him, learn to appreciate his advantages instead of always focusing on the shortcomings. To believe in their own vision in fact, the essence of mousy is pure and simple, and is not exactly a derogatory term. Too much flowery intestines of the boys are not necessarily good, when you chose such a boyfriend, is bound to be the other side of the attraction of your place, and the advantages, to believe in their own vision. Come on, Lou Lou, I hope you can get out of the woods soon~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner of the building Hello, the owner of the problem is: why always feel that the opposite sex like themselves, but in fact not | as well as put forward please this psychological advice first of all, warm and warm to the owner to analyze the reasons for the owner said: \"In my school days, my parents have been instilled in me, not allowed to fall in love, not allowed to fall in love, I thought at the time, do not allow to fall in love, not to get along with the boys not to give the opportunity to do not I thought at the time that if you don't allow relationships and don't get along with boys and don't give them a chance, you won't fall in love. So it wasn't until I was 30 that I managed to \"fall in love for the first time\" and married my current husband.\" So from this statement, the owner and the opposite sex of the actual contact is very little, they like you or not, mainly in the level of guessing imagination. This also reflects the owner's inner desire to be liked, so tend to judge the opposite sex like themselves. Subjective judgment is mostly, objective verification is less, and the opposite sex normal contact is good. At the same time, it also reflects that the owner retains confidence in herself, and there is a vigor inside that wants to explode, but she just can't make it work. And it may also be the owner's husband is more mute, do not know romance, and the owner of the heart is still eager for a sensational love. In fact, feel that others like themselves, this is no problem, many people have this illusion. Just like the previous paragraph on the network said: the world's three major illusions, is the door is unlocked, cell phone someone looking for you and he likes me. This idea is an optimistic expectation that can motivate you to be positive with the opposite sex. Your real problem is an inner constriction and inability to let go. It comes from not having a good interpersonal atmosphere and experience in getting along with people in your early years. For the suggestion of warm feeling can have the following aspects: and husband to create romance the main problem of the owner is not how much desire for the opposite sex, just in the husband can not find the feeling of love drink passion. So you can start by creating romance with your husband. The owner said that her husband is a mute person, and we can not change others, so we can only change themselves. For example, on anniversaries or birthdays, the two dress up and go out to eat a big meal, have a ceremony to say \"I love you\" to each other, if the economic conditions allow, you can also arrange a trip in the period of calm relationship and so on. Men often can not understand women's thinking, so the owner and her husband to communicate directly to express their own ideas, such as \"soon birthday, you want to give me a gift,\" and so on, to avoid the male speculative statements, such as \"do you know what day is recently? \" . When the owner puts more attention on her own life and her husband's life, she will naturally have less energy to figure out what other people are thinking. Normal Contact with the Opposite Sex The next thing is to just maintain normal contact with the opposite sex around you, you don't have to take the initiative to move forward and you don't have to deliberately avoid it. Even marriage, we can not guarantee a lifetime only to a person, love or not love is a matter of desire, cheating or not cheating is a matter of character. The owner of the current situation is not considered to move love, nor mental derailment so do not need to have psychological pressure, these are normal phenomena. Of course, the owner should also learn to communicate with the opposite sex and contact, this is also work and life in the necessary courses. Finally, warm wishes the owner a smooth life and love! \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, from your description, I feel that you are a little distressed, obviously know that the boys around you do not have that kind of ambiguous action, but you just have a feeling that he likes me, this feeling will also make you uncomfortable in the company of yourself and them. This is what we say, their own rationale what all understand, but to the emotional, physical can not pass. First of all, let's analyze this haha, why is this happening to you? I have a feeling that in your interactions with your male colleagues, there is something that is not being fulfilled in some sense in you and your husband that is being realized on a subconscious level. What is it? It's probably something called \"sex drive.\" You're at least 30 years old, and I don't think you're as embarrassed to talk about sex as a little girl, so I'll make it clear. Of course, this sex does not mean having sex, but a very intimate physical and mental connection between a man and a woman. You see, you and your husband respect each other, this word is used very well, give me a kind of two people close but keep a distance feeling, and have children, I think in the husband and wife life or husband and wife sweetness this piece, may not be enough. People have desires, it's not shameful and don't be shy, everyone has them, generally speaking, couples can satisfy each other and keep each other warm, but I don't know for what reason, you said your husband is mousy and won't take care of you, may be part of the reason. You in the husband, can not meet the needs of sex, long-term repression, and now can not be repressed, must find objects to vent, naturally cast in the other men around. Of course, this kind of idea, our general public is unable to accept, say strange, as if a little like cheating, betraying their husbands, right. So this kind of idea can only be buried in the bottom of our hearts, and even we ourselves do not allow ourselves to have this kind of idea, so what to do? It was supposed to be that you wanted to build a connection with another male, and your reason didn't allow you to do that, and there was a desire, and it was processed by reason to be that another male wanted to build a connection with you. Taking you from an initiator to a passive recipient. Satisfying your sexual drive and your need to be loved without burdening you with shame on a moral level. I think that's probably probably one way to read it. As for how to change, how to both rationalize and comfortably vent your sexual desires and satisfy your sexual drive. That would require professional counseling, and we can't help you too much with this answer, and you don't want to expose too much of yourself on this kind of platform for so many people to see, right?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11889
       },
       {
        "question": "Is all the gentleness in front of me fake? Is it just me, or is it the counselor?",
        "description": "Before counseling, I gathered the courage to express my true feelings, calm tone, said \"I'm not sure you can help me?\", the counselor exploded. The counselor blew up and said in a very bad tone, \"If you weren't a counselor, who would come back to discuss this with you?\". The counselor blew up and said in a bad tone \"Who would come back to you to discuss this if not a counselor?\", which made me feel hurt that the smile and gentleness in front of me was all fake! Is what I said really serious?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Counseling, Talking and Listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject can drum up the courage to express their true feelings itself is not easy and very worthy of recognition, and this expression is often based on the growing trust in the counselor, but the counselor's response is full of impatience and even with accusations, really hurt people. When the visitor can only be a \"good boy\" in exchange for the counselor's smile and tenderness, the counseling relationship is attached to the price of the counseling fee, i.e., to satisfy the counselor, is undoubtedly a kind of exploitation of the visitor. It is true that the counselor is not a saint, sometimes the visitor will still be angry to myocardial infarction, this is actually the use of counter-transference (narrowly refers to the emotional feelings triggered by the visitor's empathy) to understand the visitor's good opportunity. It is also necessary for the counselor to be aware of his or her own issues (countertransference in the broader sense also includes parts that are not triggered by the visitor), and he or she should avoid acting on the negative feelings. If the counselor can't even pick up on the above level of skepticism, perhaps the subject might consider seeing if it's worthwhile to continue the work.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "[Bell Knowledge Interpretation] This kind of problem is actually encountered by most counselors. And counselors who are professionally trained and have been supervised for a long time rarely have such negative reactions to such questions. You are not wrong; questioning the counselor, or voicing your concerns, is something every visitor does. The only possible reason why the counselor would react so strongly is that he or she has developed a \"counter-transference\" to you. If you do not understand the meaning of the word empathy, please do not guess! It's actually a specialized industry term that doesn't mean \"feelings\". Empathy is the process by which a visitor projects onto the counselor the feelings he or she has had in the past about some important person in his or her life (e.g., anger at being scolded by his or her mother). Similarly, \"countertransference\" is the process by which the analyst projects his or her own past emotions about some important person in his or her life (such as having been badly hurt by a particular visitor) onto the current visitor. My point of view, just for your information.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17010
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you move on to the rest of your life when you are middle-aged and have accomplished nothing?",
        "description": "When you reach middle age, you have an old man and a young man, and you look at yourself and realize that you have accomplished nothing. I don't know how to go on living the rest of my life without any goals.",
        "keywords": "Career, Midlife Crisis",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, give you a warm hug ~ for the mid-life crisis you are facing, on the one hand, it is from their own pressure on themselves, and on the other hand, it is from the pressure of the family to you. As you described, you need to be responsible for your home and family, and at the same time you realize that you don't seem to be that good. If you already have a steady income/build up of your own financially, then you may choose to continue to enhance your field and utilize your strengths and advantages. If you feel as though your paycheck isn't particularly lucrative, or your experience is still thin, then you can try to encourage yourself to give it a go, and maybe trying will make a difference. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, live seriously, feel the charm that life brings you, and get along with your family can also help you relieve stress. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19421
       },
       {
        "question": "Grandma died 2 months ago and just thinking about her makes me cry and think about her every day?",
        "description": "Every day, only when I touch my grandmother's things, or when I see my grandmother on TV, or when I am alone, I can't help but think of my grandmother, and feel that life is too difficult, and the more I grow up, the lonelier I become, and the more I have to accept the separation constantly.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, therapies, counseling, trauma therapy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title: Hello! Sending you a warm hug (\uff61\uff65\u03c9\uff65\uff61)\uff89 I can understand and relate to your experience, as I've had a similar one. When I was in middle school, the passing of my aunt had a great impact on me. She had always been kind to me, but I didn't even have the chance to see her one last time, so it has become my biggest regret to this day. Now, every time I visit my uncle's house, as soon as I step inside, I feel an inexplicable sadness because there are so many traces left behind by my aunt. Even now, I struggle to accept the departure of loved ones. When my sister went to work in another province, it made me feel very sad. I feel like I can't handle goodbyes; they're just too difficult for me. [The older we grow, the lonelier we become, and the more we have to face separations.] I am still growing up, and they are also getting older, so we will face more and more separations. Despite the countless unwillingness in our hearts, we still have to learn to accept it; otherwise, we will remain in that world of sadness. So please don't be too sad. You still have your own path in life, and I believe that on this journey, they will always be by our side. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18948
       },
       {
        "question": "What's the reason why you get embarrassed making out with your girlfriend?",
        "description": "Been with my girlfriend for a year and a half, she's a couple years younger than me, and at first there would be normal intimacy like kissing and xing relationships. But then we fought a lot, and I don't know when it started, but it's very repulsive to have intimate scenes with my girlfriend. For example, it is very repulsive to be naked in front of her (once she wanted to help me undress in the shower, but I refused to let her), and it is also very repulsive to kissing and xing relationship, not disgusting, but the thought of making out with her makes me feel embarrassed, I can't tell you how embarrassed I am, and it feels as if what about with my own sister. She has always suspected that I have become bent, but myself is actually very desirable, the need for xing is still normal, but just not interested in her. At first I was thinking it was because I thought she was a bit fat, but then I didn't think it was because at first the intimacy between the two of us was pretty normal. We haven't had anything for a long time, and now she thinks I don't love her anymore, I think it's love, but I don't know what to do about xing, and I don't know what the problem is, it's very painful to face her every day. ps: it was never like this when I was with my ex-girlfriend.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Relationship Management, Sexuality",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner~~~From the description of the subject, I understand that the subject in the face of intimate behavior with his girlfriend will appear some uncomfortable emotions, to which I have the following suggestions hope to help the subject first of all for the reasons of embarrassment, to see the subject mentioned that this kind of problem seems to be in the previous appeared after the fight, we can think about whether it is because of the previous fight involved in sexual behavior, or a point in the fight so that the subject is still concerned, thus affecting the subject's attitude toward his girlfriend to reveal himself. see the subject mentioned that he actually expects to have sex with each other, we may try step by step to try. We can think about whether it is because the previous quarrel involves the problem of sexual behavior, or the quarrel of a certain point so that the subject is still concerned about, thus affecting the subject of the girlfriend to reveal their attitude to see the subject mentioned that they actually expect to have sexual intercourse with each other, we may as well step by step to try to start from the subject to accept the behavior, and slowly restore the feeling, and then continue to the next step, rather than repeatedly directly try; on the other hand, the subject may wish to communicate frankly and each other, express their attitudes and true thoughts, and then try to get to know each other. Expression of their attitudes and real ideas, to avoid such \"avoidance of behavior\" so that the other side of the misunderstanding, try to solve the problem with each other Secondly, the two sides can also try to carry out some other activities to increase each other's \"interest\", so that the feelings of warming up.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 11066
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you overcome the fact that you care too much about what other people think?",
        "description": "Sometimes I even get anxious because I care too much, how can I overcome it? Do I need someone to guide me? How can I overcome it?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In fact, [a person should not care about other people's views, live their own] this truth everyone understands, but in fact very few people can do completely do not care about other people's views. Because we are all [living in relationships]. The problem is that we [over] value what other people think of us, and that brings about [excessive] emotional reactions. This is actually related to [a sense of] self-worth, which is about how a person sees themselves and how they see their own value. People who care too much about other people's opinions usually base their self-worth on other people's evaluations. So what should one do to address this situation?1. Separate fact from projection. In some cases, what we think is not what others think, meaning, I project my opinion of myself onto others, thinking that they think the same about me. Let's say you think you're bad and have low self-esteem, when someone else says something very neutral on some occasion, \"That's not a very good job, take some more time to correct it.\" Maybe he didn't mean to insinuate or belittle you, targeting things rather than you as a person, but after you heard it, you automatically thought he was saying he was bad, which is projecting your own thoughts onto the other person. So, you need to calm down and think: why did I react so strongly to that statement? Are other people's words deliberately directed at you? Or is it a projection of yourself? Recognizing this will be helpful in relieving your emotions.2. Set an emotional cut-off point. It can be 2 hours, it can be 1 day. Before this cut-off point, allow yourself to be angry, allow yourself to be sad, allow yourself to be agitated, and also to vent, to cry. But once you've passed that point, tell yourself, \"Okay, I've cried, I've been angry, I've been angry, I'm going to clean up my act and move on to the next thing, and that's the end of it. This is equivalent to a ritual, give yourself a hint. In the beginning, you can try to set the emotional cut-off point longer, and then gradually shorten it. This will prevent you from being emotionally affected by one thing for a long time. 3. Think differently. Ask yourself a question: How much time do I spend thinking about other people's lives? For example, what is my colleague A doing lately? Is she in a good mood lately? She's really not a very reliable person. And so on, all the things that are about other people and not about myself. You'll find that minuscule, basically negligible, most of the time I'm focusing on my own problems and things. So, by asking yourself after this, you will realize that others are just like yourself, concerned only about themselves and not you. Often times, we form a false illusion that others are just as concerned about themselves as we are, when in fact they don't care about you that much at all. This is something that needs to be watched over and over again until you understand it completely. A clear understanding of this is important to ease your emotional reactions. Every time you feel upset because you are overly concerned about what others think, tell yourself: people don't have that much free time to pay attention to me.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner after reading your question, I have a preliminary understanding of you. The questioner has no more than one question, which is seeking ways to overcome and whether or not you need guidance from others is also seeking ways to overcome. So, I will parse you around it. In the middle of your question, you are anxious because you care too much, but I'm not quite sure where exactly what you care about falls, and I can't give you a full analysis of that. In this society, we all live for ourselves, not for others, people are selfish \"animals\", so, for care about the word will not seem so important, that is, a flavor of spices in life, for \"too\" this word is also performance The word \"too\" is also shown to be very pale and powerless. People are living in the society, too much care may make you become out of place, but also add to their own troubles. I hope that the following answers will be helpful to you. First, reflect on yourself, for others to say things, since you will care, then you should change, do not always indulge in care, what they say may be what you lack, you have to think differently, so that will ease their mood, in this case, you will become better and better, what others say will not let you distracted. Secondly, you can take the initiative to block some things that are not useful to you, for example, your too much care, will not bother to care, and there is no worry, but not let you block all, so that you will be more focused on doing a thing, and it will reduce a lot of anxiety. These are my answers, may you be better in life!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! After reading your description, I have a certain understanding of the question you want to ask, here, also give you a four-dimensional space hug. From your description, we can understand that you are a person who cares about other people's opinions, and at the same time, is also a person who is easily influenced by the environment. In fact, care about the opinions of others, to a certain extent, that you care about your image in the hearts of others, but also may be because you are afraid of others do not like themselves, so you want to set up their own image by pleasing the way. In this way, you can gain approval and a sense of security. Other people's ideas have a certain role for us, but for us, do not be overly concerned, otherwise it will cause us a lot of psychological burden and pressure. In this regard, I have also summarized some methods to help you ease the current situation. (1) Try to put your own needs in the first place, and slowly regain self-confidence. And getting along with friends is mostly a process of self-exposure, so now, for your own shortcomings, you can first tolerate them, and then, to improve them. After all, everyone has shortcomings, there is no perfect person in this world. \ufe0f (2) Try to divert your attention, it can be to do what you are interested in, so that in the meantime, you will also put your time on something meaningful. (3) Confide in your friends who you play well with and say what you want to say to further release your emotions. \ufe0f (4) Go for the good in yourself and see the good in yourself. In this process go to accept your truest self. \ufe0f (5) Try to express your true feelings and needs, and don't be afraid to offend others, because this is the truest you. \ufe0f (6) Make a note of what you care about what other people think of you and then try to take actions that are not influenced by what others think. \ufe0f The world and I love you good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10349
       },
       {
        "question": "What does it mean to be a strong person? What factors are associated with it?",
        "description": "Everyone's ability to withstand trauma is different Some people can be strong in the death of their loved ones one after another, such as \"Alive\" Some people may just have difficulty in coping with the fact that their friends around them are leaving them. In reality, there are many such cases. Some soldiers suffer from traumatic stress disorder after a war, while others are fine. There is a saying that \"the deeper the obsession, the tougher the person seems to be, but the easier he or she will collapse\", so what are the factors affecting the \"toughness\"?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Emotional Regulation, Emotional Intelligence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In my opinion being strong is a quality, a character, a habit, which is best cultivated and made a habit from an early age. When a person is repeatedly frustrated, but has a strong indomitable heart, this is strong. But in real life timidity and cowardice are common. Stanford University psychologist Philip Zimbardo in the 20th century in the 1970s and 1980s on nearly 10,000 people in the survey found that about 40% of the people think they are timid, shy. Timidity has many manifestations, such as timidity in public places, social timidity, situation-specific timidity, and special animal timidity. Everyone encounters a lot of trouble, in the face of difficulties and setbacks, timid and cowardly people often do not have a strong will to overcome difficulties and setbacks. Strong and courageous people are able to do perseverance, with their strong will, to overcome difficulties and setbacks, over obstacles and stumbling blocks, so as to achieve success. So what are the factors that affect the strong? 1, the ability to live independently is gradually weakened. Today's society people comfortable, calm, stable life, has deprived people of the opportunity to live independently; \"clothes to Taobao, meals to takeaway\" lifestyle, leading to the shrinkage of people's independent living ability. It must be said that now people's lives are too comfortable, so all the courage and self-confidence of the people are lost in this particular way of life. 2, treat yourself as the weak. Lifestyle changes have made every one of us see ourselves as weak. Almost everything we do is through the external forces to help us complete, give birth to a child with a sister-in-law care, home cleaning up the health of the housekeeping service, only we put out the hands of things we hope to find a replacement ...... people gradually lost the opportunity to exercise in a difficult environment, but also lost the opportunity to be strong. 3, everything Lack of the ability to hold out a little longer. A boxer once said: \"In the case of being hit hard by the opponent, falling down is a kind of relief, or a kind of temptation. Whenever this happens, I scream in my heart to myself: hold on, hold on a little longer, hold on a little longer! Because only if I don't fall down, there is a possibility of winning.\" Indeed, success often comes from \"hold on a little longer\" in the strong. 4, the lack of some inferior stimulus. Inferior stimulus refers to some uncomfortable or unpleasant external stimuli, these stimuli are necessary and beneficial to people. These stimuli are: 1) difficulties: in fact, real life should create some difficulties that can be overcome through hard work. Of course, it is more necessary to learn the courage to overcome difficulties, but also to learn ways to overcome difficulties. 2) Hunger: hunger is a stimulus that challenges the physiological limits. Nowadays, living conditions are better, so many people eat picky or complain about this or that, so it is necessary to experience the taste of hunger, so that people learn to control their own preferences under the stimulation of hunger. 3) Suffering: at this stage, people no longer have the ability to suffer, and always show a petulant side when suffering, and it is really necessary to consciously exercise themselves, such as taking part in some outdoor experiential activities, so that people can suffer a little bit under difficult conditions in order to exercise people's strong character.4) Criticism: nowadays, people's psychology is very fragile, and they simply can't accept other people's accusations and negative evaluations.5) Punishment: the generation that grows up with encouragement has almost never experienced what real punishment is.6) Neglect: young people in this era grow up in a child-centered environment of their parents, and they are the generation that gets a lot of attention, they lack the experience of being neglected, not being the main character, not being valued, and therefore lack the ability to maintain a good state of mind in the face of difficulties and stress. To summarize, when a person lacks strong qualities and abilities, mental imbalance in the face of pressure and difficult situations is the inevitable result.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner~There is no formal definition of toughness in psychology, and I personally understand that the main factors that can affect toughness are: self-defense and sense of security. Self-defense mechanismSelf-defense mechanism, a concept put forward by psychoanalytic psychologist Sigmund Freud, refers to the self-protection mechanism activated by people in the face of frustration and anxiety, which maintains psychological balance mainly through the distortion of reality. The main ones are denial, repression, rationalization, displacement, projection, reverse formation, over-substitution, offsetting, humor, identification, regression and sublimation. Self-defense mechanisms have two main characteristics: first, they are carried out at the unconscious level because of the nature of self-deception, a subconscious layer of self-defense; second, self-defense mechanisms are often characterized by camouflage or misrepresentation of the facts, and their role is to protect the ego from anxiety that leads to disease, which has a positive role in the prevention and treatment of psychological disorders, but there is no moral implication of deception. Individuals who use positive self-defense methods are more resilient in the face of difficulties and are not easily defeated. It gives the impression that they are always able to face their situation strongly, without being overbearing, and are relatively resistant to setbacks. Therefore, the establishment of a good self-defense system is the most crucial factor in the development of 'strong' qualities. \u203bSense of securitySense of security belongs to the inner spiritual needs of individuals. Sense of security is the premonition of possible dangers or risks to the body or the mind, as well as the individual's sense of power/powerlessness in coping with the handling of affairs, which is mainly manifested in the sense of certainty and controllability. Individuals who have a sense of inner security can face the frustrations of life more calmly, with trust in life, enthusiasm for life, hope for the future, and affirmation of the self, which is strong from the heart. If the defense mechanism is the defense 'strong weapon', then the sense of security is the 'strong core'. You will find that those who are strong in life always give themselves a firm belief that 'I can', and that belief can be either encouragement from others or self-affirmation. That affirmation and encouragement is a sense of security! Good luck!",
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          "answer_text": "In fact, everyone has a different definition of strong and a different understanding of what it means to be strong. I think a person who is strong is able to strike a good balance between primitive desires and social moral norms, properly satisfying his primitive desires while being able to suppress desires that violate social moral norms, and enjoying freedom in a restricted environment. Secondly, he has good self-awareness and knowledge of himself. He knows exactly where he is, whether he is speaking from his heart or from his emotions, and he knows what he is capable of. He knows why he succeeds when he succeeds at a goal he set in the workplace or in school, and why he fails when he fails to achieve his goal. Finally, a strong person is often optimistic. When negative emotions and setbacks come, they are able to regulate their emotions faster, resist pressure, rise to the occasion, and be hopeful for the future. A strong person inside often has a strong will, strong resistance to pressure, clear self-awareness and the courage to keep moving forward.",
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          "answer_text": "If strong only from the ability to withstand trauma this dimension, then the strength of this strong force seems too thin, after all, we do not know, in the death of loved ones one after another can be strong to go on the night, that person is often depressed tossing and turning until dawn; in the war soldiers suffering from traumatic stress disorder, by the therapist found in time to deal with the old psychological problems hidden in the heart. Instead of the ability to endure trauma, it is the ability to heal it. The mischievous thing about fate is that it gives the world a lot of seemingly bad luck and trials, which may cause a severe shock to your heart at the moment, but this shock is reminding you and guiding you that it's time to explore your true inner aspirations and desires. What kind of emotions do you feel when a close friend can't stand to be away from you? And why do you feel that emotion? And the ability to heal trauma comes from self-love, self-love comes from self-knowledge, and self-knowledge comes from truthfulness. Good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12676
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you lower your expectations of others when you always post to your friends wanting them to see it?",
        "description": "Always like to post friends wanting some of your friends to see it. Obviously it's something trivial and unnecessary to post, but I just want them to see it. I feel that I am a bit of a pleasing personality, but also have a psychological expectation of being seen. I want others to see my efforts, see my changes, and forgive me for my mistakes. How can I lower this expectation?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Software",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah, ~~ in fact, not to hide, like the owner, I have been in the posting of the circle of friends, looking forward to others can see, will be after posting the circle of friends to pay attention to a few likes, what encourages me, good, positive comments. In fact, in the age of technology, through the circle of friends to share their own lives, some daily, let others know more about themselves, share their own happiness, these are our love of life symbol, and there is nothing wrong. The key is, how not to be the number of likes and comments of the circle of friends affect the mood of the self, which is worth thinking about. First, cultivate their own self-confidence in the description, the owner mentioned that they have some \"pleasing personality\", with this type of personality, most of the people on the self-evaluation is not very high, they lack of positive affirmation of their own, so they need to please others to get the recognition of others, so that the affirmation of self. The self-confidence built up in this way has an unstable foundation, and when your self-confidence depends entirely on others, you will become very passive, and will easily be drawn into too many emotions by the words and actions of others. In short, it means that your emotions can't make their own decisions and are easily influenced. So the first thing you need to do is develop self-confidence. You need to learn to give yourself positive hints and feedback in time when you make, or make progress in stages, and learn to praise yourself. For example: \"Today I'm awesome, do really well!\" Second, learn to self-expectation no one can replace you, live your own. So you need to learn to live for yourself and learn to set reasonable self-expectations for yourself. When your daily life, live into their own expectations of the mold, you will not bother, other people's expectations of their own how, and their own and whether to complete the other people's expectations of their own? Your own expectations of yourself are what you should be aiming for. Good luck 1.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there, I'm sure the subject has realized that the reason for posting a circle of friends specifically for a certain group of friends (the content is mostly trivial and trivial) is because you expect to use it to show these friends that you've made an effort and changed, and hopefully forgiven you. I don't know exactly what happened between you and your friends. Perhaps there has been some conflict with a friend that has caused a rift in the relationship, or you may have even done something to hurt your friend (possibly unintentionally). If you want to seek the other person's understanding, then after a sincere apology, you want to get further forgiveness through practical actions, that's not wrong, but through the circle of friends to post the small things of life can really let the other person feel your sincerity to seek peace? Furthermore, do you think that expecting too much from other people's opinions of yourself in this way may have brought anxiety and discomfort to your psyche? Psychologists believe that there are three types of individual perceptual self-concepts: the ideal self, the ought self, and the actual self. The self-concept of a psychologically healthy person is consistent with the ideal self. When there is a gap between the actual self and the real self, they are prone to frustration and depression; when there is a gap between the should self and the actual self, they are prone to anxiety. What you forcefully or unconsciously express through your circle of friends is more the \"should self\", do you think your friends should want to see you more like this? The process of internalizing the influence and evaluation of your external environment into your self-perception is a form of projective identity. Here are 3 ways to build your self-identity: 1) Repeat the exercise to strengthen your self-belief and accept the trauma you have experienced; 2) Ask creative questions to find your formal self; 3) Feed yourself consistently, be more patient with yourself, replace criticism with affirmation, and turn your anger into motivation to find out what you really need. Cheer up.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! When I finished reading your description, you want to ask a certain understanding of the problem, here, also give you a four-dimensional space hug. In fact, you said in the description of the phenomenon, I think most people have happened, including me, is always like to send a circle of friends, even if it is a small thing, want everyone to know, may also be to a certain extent is also want to get around the attention of people and care about, and eager to get some from them in real life did not get something, so, always like to send a circle of friends is also to a certain extent is a kind of compensatory effect, and also to a certain extent is a kind of compensation. To a certain extent, it is also a kind of compensation, that is, in real life did not get things, hope that in the circle of friends can get. In fact, we all know that most of our attention should be focused on their own body, but after all, we live in the social environment, is very easy to be influenced by others, so, will be a little too concerned about the views of others, therefore, some times when we are doing something, we will go to please others, hope that they do a lot of things can cause others to pay attention to, not knowing that the real care and concern for our people is in fact, the people who really Care and care about us is actually very little, some times you send some content in the circle of friends, you may think you will get a lot of replies, because at this time you may hold a lot of expectations, but the result is that the response is extremely little, obviously want to share daily with friends, but get the response is very little, so, not inevitably people will be a little disappointed. Always have a deep impact on a sentence, that is, anything with expectations will make people lose their minds, think about it seems to be the case, the higher your expectations of a thing, if the results can not be as they want, then, for us, is also a little blow. So, when we do something, do not leave too much expectation, or the results will be down, it will have a small impact on us. Here, I also summarized some ways to help you ease the current situation, hope can better help you. \ud83e\udde1 (1) for sending friends this thing, their own happy, don't worry too much about what others think of us, after all, you are you, you can't make everyone happy, understand you will understand, don't understand you no matter what you do he won't understand. So anymore, just be yourself at this time. \ufe0f(2) Try to lower your expectations, that is to say, lower your utilitarianism, you can love something from the bottom of your heart, not what you can get by doing it. \ufe0f(3) Confide in your close friends or family members and speak your mind to further release your emotions, and at the same time, you will be able to get some good feedback. \ufe0f(4) It's been great that the owner has been able to realize some of the things about himself, and here, kudos to you as well. Now it's all about some ways to change your current situation, which may be something that requires some effort and persistence. \ufe0f(5) The first person you need to please will always be yourself, because you have to be yourself first and foremost for you to be able to love the people you care about better. \ufe0f(6) What you can live into, it's all up to you, when you become good enough one day, slowly more and more people will see your efforts, so now, some times, don't be too intentional about posting the process of your hard work in your circle of friends. \ufe0fThe world and I love you good luck \ufe0f.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear. To tell you the truth, we are all like that, we want our friends to see what we are doing, and we also want their comments, have you ever had such an experience, you like to send a circle of friends very much, but after a few times, you will subconsciously look at your circle to see if there are any likes or comments, and if there are none after a couple of hours, you will doubt yourself, and in turn, you will delete that circle of friends. I have experienced this. It's probably because you want to be seen so badly that you care extra. But the truth is, honey, you know what, WeChat non-friends can't see likes and comments, and similarly, if you are wanting your friend circle comments and likes to be seen, it's not necessary. You should ask yourself whether you are posting this circle to record the trivialities of your life or to attract the attention of others. If you just want to record life's trivialities, don't care, the circle you send is just for yourself to see, others see or don't see it is none of your business. If you just want to attract the attention of others, dear you know what? Nowadays, many people seldom send friend circle, seldom like, because everyone is very busy, no one will always stare at the friend circle's dynamic. There are many ways to get others' attention, such as being good enough, such as being confident enough. There's no need to go through the internet. Honey, you have to accept the fact that no one pays attention to your friend circle, and then be amazing enough in reality, when you are amazing enough, who would not want to read your friend circle. Good luck.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello subject, I'm glad to be able to answer your question. After reading your description, it reminds me of a line from Teenage You: \"We all live in the gutter, but there's always someone looking up at the stars.\" It lies too much in other people's thoughts, maybe because you have low self-esteem, want others to recognize you by being noticed, have a sensitive character, want to show yourself, but don't want others to see your bad side. You set your circle of friends to be seen by some of your friends, and you don't want others to know the other side of you. The subject said that he once made a mistake, is it possible that they have some misunderstanding of you as a person because of your mistake? A single look at one side is not comprehensive, can not be one-sided view of a person, but to look at the full picture, you send a circle of friends, want to get attention, but also want others to be able to understand you from different aspects ah, not the same as you, other people may have a change of opinion about you. With a mask life, trying to disguise themselves, not only their own heart tired, you also lost the original true self, remember a little Oh, your life is your own, not a show, do not need judges and audience. \ud83e\udde8 want to lower this expectation, after understanding the truth of the concrete measures:their own life their own grasp, others may not think a lot. Lower your expectations of yourself and make small goals that are easy to reach. I hope my answer is helpful to the subject, good night.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, subject, how are you? I'm very happy to discuss this issue with you about sending friends circle, in fact, I have the same psychology as you, I believe that most people have the same psychology as you, every time you send friends circle you want to let your friends see, especially when you see the likes and comments, instantly feel that your life has been paid attention to. Even if it's just something small, it's a comforting thing to be able to get other people's likes or comments, and it's a very common psychological phenomenon. Send a circle of friends on the one hand is to record your life imprint, on the other hand, the desire to get attention, looking forward to friends to see the good side of you, let others feel that you live a good life, so as to produce your own identity, the meaning of life needs to be more than the people's approval also need to be recognized by their own. If you feel comfortable and at ease through the way to send a circle of friends, it is completely unnecessary to have any burden, if you think it is in order to let others see to send a circle of friends, then you need to think that this is not what you really think, suggest that you can combine their actual state to assess, reasonably reduce their expectations of others. Lastly, it is normal to expect others to see you in your circle of friends, just as you need to be recognized for everything you do, so good luck to you!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There is nothing wrong with wanting to share life ah, otherwise the circle of friends would not have come into being, social software is to satisfy everyone's desire to share, a person's happiness into everyone's happiness is not quite good? After all, the shocking events in life is also a minority, most of them are trivial, today I drank a cup of milk tea is very good want to be able to give someone else, watched an idol drama and found that the hero is very handsome ... It is such a small ordinary things between you and me have resonance, through the sharing of communication with each other's feelings will be more intense. The subject said he didn't think it was necessary to post it, but you clearly wanted to post it, didn't you? Otherwise you wouldn't be so torn, just don't send it. So why not be honest with yourself? So are you a little unsure of yourself? I have a friend that is really trivial things will be posted every day in the circle of friends, but he himself never feel what is wrong, and do not expect others to reply, for him to share is enough. So there's nothing wrong with sharing even if you want to. Everyone wants to be seen and to be understood, and you are sharing in the spirit of sharing, not expecting the other person to respond to you, so what's wrong with that? For example, I got a high score on my exam today, I feel very happy and want to tell my friends the good news, it's perfectly fine to send a circle to celebrate. Some people who don't send friend circle don't have this need, he may be a more independent person, don't want others to know too much of their own things, or feel that it is very troublesome to send a reply, so they just don't send it. But the subject is so eager for others to know everything about himself maybe you are such a personality. If you let you become like water, don't want to share anything about yourself with others, and there is no communication, and you are the only one who knows about everything you do, do you think that is the state you want to be in? Follow the needs of your own personality will make you happier oh.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, understand your feelings very well, hugs~ You always hope that the other person can see your dynamic, can recognize you and understand you, in fact, many people have such expectations. Being recognized and understood and seen, this is the most basic need of each of us, it is normal, but also may not be satisfied. It's especially easy to feel disappointment when you have obsessive expectations of others. Do thoughts like \"I must be seen, recognized, and understood\" come to mind? Beware of such absolutist thinking; it is not a reasonable belief. In fact, we are the only ones who can satisfy ourselves; anyone else, with their own will, may not be able to satisfy you. So, first of all, we need to learn to satisfy ourselves. Does it really matter that much what other people think of you and approve of you? Try to find your own inner approval of yourself, and when you learn to fulfill what you need through yourself, you naturally don't need outside support. I wish you all the best, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject giving you a warm hug! It is normal and common for us to expect to be seen and to be valued and cared for by others. You have expressed that you want others to see my efforts, see my changes, and forgive me for the mistakes I have made before. What happened to you? I believe that the reason why you want to be seen by others by posting a circle of friends is to prove yourself, to let yourself be accepted, and that self-acceptance is the deepest truth of your heart. No matter what happened before, even making mistakes is an experience to grow. And now you also realize your own mistakes, also have to make changes, this is the best change, I believe that the people around you have also found your changes. You can slowly make adjustments, want to send a circle of friends to send, send to go to busy themselves, do not care about whether there are other people's comments, likes, etc., send a circle in order to witness some of their own changes, records of their own life small things, small fortunes. I wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5012
       },
       {
        "question": "Is not being able to naturally talk to the people around you a social fear?",
        "description": "College students, the heart very much want to chat with classmates, but found that always can not melt into their topics, feel very unnatural, this is a social fear?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ medical definition - social phobia is a subtype of phobia, phobia is originally called phobic neurosis, is a kind of neurosis. To excessive and unreasonable fear of some external objective things or situations as the main manifestation, the patient knows that this fear response is excessive or unreasonable, but still recurring, difficult to control. Fearful episodes are often accompanied by significant anxiety and autonomic symptoms, and the patient tries hard to avoid the objective thing or situation that causes the fear, or endures it with fear, thus affecting his or her normal activities. So, not being able to fit into the conversation of your classmates and feeling unnatural does not indicate a social fear, it could just be that you don't know each other well, are familiar with each other and just have a disconnect, or that you are not interested in the topic of conversation or don't understand what they talk about. You can start by trying to talk more with your friends who are closer to you. You can start a little more communication with them on topics that interest you.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 167,
            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 167,
            "end": 248,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 248,
            "end": 292,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8225
       },
       {
        "question": "How does a relationship find itself instead of going against the grain?",
        "description": "How do you dominate in a relationship? Instead of just going along for the ride? How do you find yourself?",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, equality in any relationship probably needs to be based on matching in terms of ability and emotional resources, not just on one or the other. From your description, I can see that you have some confusion and interest in exploring how to find yourself in an emotional relationship, so that you can have good control and mastery over the direction of the relationship. The first thing that I want you to understand is that balance and equality in a relationship is the key to sustaining a relationship, not dominance by one party, which inevitably means that the other party is in a passive position, and that such an unbalanced relationship is dangerous for emotional maintenance. It is possible to focus on one's own growth and self-efficacy, so that one has something to do that one wants to do and can achieve, rather than passive dependence and pleasing. Whether you are in a relationship, or in a marriage, you need to keep yourself uniquely attractive and appealing, not out of fear that the other person will change his or her mind, but that the other person is bound to change (everyone changes over time), and we need to change as well. Follow each other in order to reach similar frequencies and create mutual dependence and attraction. At the same time, it is also important to be aware of what you are giving emotionally, so that your emotional resources are given according to the other person's worthiness. For the sake of love, it is possible to compromise and tolerate, but not to please and humble. Learn to express your needs in the relationship, whether they are emotional or material, to help and sympathize with each other, not to be parasites and servants. Maybe due to the gap between you and the other person in some aspects, so that you have an inferiority complex inside, unconsciously lower their own requirements for the other person, or think that they are not qualified to demand the other person. Such a thought is unreasonable, if a relationship needs your condescension and obedience, to be able to maintain the words, you will feel very hard and aggrieved, this is what you really want to love? Be sure to make yourself confident, change your own shortcomings and shortcomings, so that their hearts become rich and strong, pay more attention to some of their own growth and ability to cultivate, rather than thinking about how to please each other. No matter how you feel, be sure to express yourself honestly with the other party in the relationship, because silence means closing the door on the opportunity to understand each other, but also let the emotions in the silence over and over again to become more ruptured and irretrievable. When you start to really love yourself well in your emotions, value your emotions and feelings, keep yourself constantly enriched, and spend each day as yourself, not just as XX's girlfriend/wife. Getting yourself back is a long process, take your time and believe in your own strength and perseverance. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Relationships do have this kind of relationship, as if obviously I want to eat is Japanese food, but finally accompanied him to eat a barbecue, obviously like short hair refreshing freedom, but for him to stay up the long hair of the shawl, obviously want to stay with their parents on holidays, but can only call the phone to wish for peace and quiet, but this can look at him to play the game of their own boredom, is that the relationship, so the unequal, too much, as if it feels if I am not the best, but I do not know what to do. If you really want to fight for what you want to do, you are afraid that he will say that he does not understand, that he is too capricious, so he is always aggrieved to cater to him, in order to want to get him to say that he understands. Maybe because of his sentence, I like to understand you. But ah, love will often be ruined in this kind of understanding, because understanding is the most easy to be ignored it, maybe one day you will find, once so understanding of their own boyfriend can not be retained, but everything goes along to take care of other people, this is to start from the beginning of the love to say, in the relationship is more love for themselves, or more love for each other it is, is not the love of each other, but forget to love their own if the other side of the love is not as much as their love for their own to come to the forefront. If the love of the other party is not their own love for themselves to come more, but to commit themselves to their own love to accommodate to love each other, then their own is not too poor it, more love love themselves, more to seriously listen to their own hearts want to do what it, if this time I accompanied you to eat a barbecue, then please the next time you also accompanied me to eat Japanese food okay? Cut their favorite short hair, if he really love you, will also be the same like a brand new you, do not be afraid to lose a person who does not care about your feelings, because after losing him, in order to meet a person who loves you more ah.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17847
       },
       {
        "question": "When I was in sixth grade, I would get panic attacks and chest congestion when I got to school, and my parents still didn't believe me?",
        "description": "On our side the sixth grade was already inside the middle school, then at that time I was very uncomfortable, as soon as I arrived at the school I would have chest tightness and panic, then I called my parents with my phone watch. They told me I was faking it, that I was doing it on purpose, that I didn't want to go to school. Then I was too scared to go to school, and then after taking a semester off. He talked to me about it every day, and then when I got bad grades he kept talking about me like that, and all I wanted to do then was die. Called me a do something wrong or how there is that brother of mine, in my memory since I remember. He only took me out twice, but also beat me and scolded me every day. My brother beats me, I feel like it's because of my mom, every time I have something, he calls my brother outside and then my brother whatever, he just beats me straight up. You want to die so badly right now for some reason, and now you don't want to go to school. But my dad they still want me to read, I'll that time I just online a search said what depression. I just wanted them to take me to the hospital to get checked out, but they just said I must be faking it. When I was a kid, I was a stay-at-home kid. Then I took a semester off from school until sixth grade. Then I came back to school and failed the exams and they said I must be faking it.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Somatic Reaction, Talking and Listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear friend. At least from your description, you do have some depression. The thing about depression is that a lot of people don't understand it yet, so it's common for family members not to understand. And the less they understand, the worse it is for your emotional recovery. In your question, you said that you were in sixth grade then, I wonder what your situation is now that you're in middle school? As a student, you don't yet have the financial means to go to counseling alone. In my opinion, here are two methods you can try: 1. The platform has a free text dump that can help you relieve some of your anxiety at the moment, which you can try (there's 'Text Dump' in the counseling channel); 2. Find an adult who can listen to you and understand you, such as one of your relatives you've been trusting, or a teacher, and Tell them about your situation and ask them to talk to your parents. By talking among adults as equals, make them realize that your current situation is real and not a childish tantrum, and take you to a counseling session as soon as possible to understand your situation. Also: not only should this person who is entrusted with your care understand you, but their advice must also be something that your parents can take seriously. So, a teacher may be reliable from relatives in the family. The sooner you find someone who can help you, the better your problem will be solved. Also, depression or not, it can be cured, so please don't worry too much. Wait for your good news.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 608
       },
       {
        "question": "Why can't I control my emotions lately and I tend to lose my temper and cry?",
        "description": "I used to feel that I could control my emotions quite well, but this time I feel that I am very grumpy every day and I am very tired and I don't want to do anything. I also cry until my eyes turn red because of a slight remark made by someone else. I don't want to eat, and I don't feel very interested in many things. I can't control my emotions.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Vulnerability and Tears",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I've had experiences like that too. It really felt like life was over for a while. But time always kills everything, so don't worry too much. There are a few small ways 1. a good night's sleep, do not care about anything, woke up natural spirit of a hundred times. 2, let you irritated things written on paper, you can scribble, as long as the venting out of it is good, summarize what is disturbing your mood. 3, a person alone to cry a meal, very refreshing. 4, to go to a clean place to sit for a while, don't lock the heart, look at the nature, close your eyes and meditate for a while, the mood will be relieved! The first thing you need to do is to prepare the environment for the meditation. Meditation before the preparation of the environment is very important, the need for a quiet environment, to avoid being disturbed, is conducive to concentration method / step 2: can be in a small environment, such as the study. Outdoor meditation can choose a quiet park. Method/step 3:Turn off the TV, cell phone, alarm clock and other electronic devices Method/step 4:Meditation wear loose clothes, take off your shoes Method/step 5:The body should be relaxed, you can do some stretching exercises before meditation to relax the body and mind. Method/step 6:If you are a beginner, it is recommended that the duration of meditation starts from 5 minutes, if you have mastered the essentials you can set 20 minutes, 2 this per day can be. Method / step 7: meditation sitting position, find the most suitable posture, the traditional is the lotus seat, you can also do in the chair meditation, in short, comfort-oriented method / step 8: beginners meditation with eyes closed, get used to meditation can try to open the eyes of the meditation method / step 9: start meditating, beginners suitable for breathing meditation, method: choose a point above your navel, focus on the feeling of it along with your breathing The dynamics of your breath. Do not deliberately change the rhythm of your breathing, just breathe as usual.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I'll answer first. Summer is already a season that makes people irritable. From the perspective of traditional Chinese medicine, it is called \"summer heat invading the heart,\" which means that when the heart fire is strong, the liver is damaged. So, one of the main reasons for people being hot-tempered is the strong liver fire. Now, let's talk about negative emotions, which can be divided into two types: emotions causing it and stress causing it. Solutions: It is recommended to take a half-hour nap at noon, put down your phone and go to bed before 10 pm, and wake up when the sun rises the next morning. Do something that you consider to be a good deed, such as giving up your seat on the subway. If you experience any negative emotions, adjust immediately. My way of adjusting is to find jokes or skits that make me happy. Also, I recommend gua sha to remove liver fire, but be sure to go to a reputable place.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14487
       },
       {
        "question": "3 years I have decided to commit suicide and face my parents I have delayed it again and again?",
        "description": "Letting people die must be a lot of things killing themselves, you'll find that most of the people who die it's not going very well with their family, love, friendships, and that's true for me as well",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Pathological Personality, Talking and Listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject \ufe0f Reading your message, it seems like you're not progressing too well in family, love, and friendships, leaving you with some disappointments. I don't really agree that a lot of deaths are due to the stresses of life, rather more deaths are due to illnesses, accidents, etc... No matter how much one is in that field, no matter how much one has accomplished, they all experience all sorts of mishaps in those areas. There is a saying that true heroism is to love life even after recognizing the nature of life. Once a person establishes a connection with the world, society, and other people, there is a possibility of stress and unhappiness, but it is also in the midst of such unhappiness that we can appreciate the preciousness of true love and the sense of accomplishment of realizing the goal after struggling. ...... So, it's not scary to have a bad life, it's just a problem that everyone encounters, you're not alone, we can all regulate stress in the right way and create the life we want. I hope this gives you some warmth \ufe0f Good luck! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Perhaps we are especially lonely and helpless inside when we are suffering. Perhaps many people, like the subject, want to ask the world: why am I so deprived and helpless? Why does no one understand me or love me? What is the bottom line of my life? Am I even qualified to become better? ...... But if you change the outward question to 'equal & calm conversation': how many ways can I slowly build up my energy? Where is the recipe for being understood and loved, hidden in this world? When I have nothing, will the sea, the sun, the mountains, the rivers, the trees, and everything else in this world still love me? How does one 'become better'? Can I define it? ...... By asking the question in a different way, is it also a different way of feeling?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4885
       },
       {
        "question": "At 25 years old, do all new employees have to give in to old employees?",
        "description": "We work three shifts and need to work night shifts. Now the leader wants to transfer my coworker next to me to the old day shift. He asked me who I wanted to partner with and wanted to transfer me to a different shift. I didn't want to transfer the shift. And he agreed. But afterward, he said that the newly transferred person she wants to commute with her husband. (Guess none of the people in that group with her husband wanted to switch shifts.) So it was at the expense of my wishes. Switching me to a different shift. I just want to know is it like that at all places? The interests of the old staff come first, and nothing else matters, right?",
        "keywords": "Career, Workplace",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner first of all, your situation to express understanding, and heartache, want to give you a big hug, feel the warmth of the world in fact, I understand, probably the leadership to do so, in fact, the balance slightly tilted to the new employees, because a new employee to a new environment, then, the first time to come, perhaps for the environment is not so familiar with, and a sense of belonging is not so strong, a company, an industry want to quickly retain people, then in fact need to help employees find a sense of belonging, so that they can find their own place, identify themselves, then not so quickly jump ship and as an old employee you may be the one that is not so quickly jump ship. A company, an industry want to quickly retain people, then in fact need to help employees find a sense of belonging, so that they can find their own place in the company, identify themselves, then not so fast jump ship and as an old employee you may be to let the boss feel that you have stayed in the company for a period of time, or a few years, and then for the operation of the company ah, the basic process is more familiar with the company, and then perhaps the company The good thing is that some of the treatment benefits are good, and then the boss is not much of a problem, colleagues get along with each other is also good, then your sense of belonging to the company and the sense of value of the existence of a stronger sense of value, the new colleague is more in a relatively disadvantaged position is not to say that the old employees have to let the new employees, just a newcomer, first came to the job market, a job market, in fact, a lot of times he was more lonely and helpless. Weak, and then as some of the old employees, in fact, most people are able to help to help it, after all, they are also from a newcomer to, but also know how hard it is perhaps a combination of all such factors, the boss agreed to shift. So I hope the owner actually do not feel too sad and aggrieved, many times this kind of thing in fact figured out will feel like once and a half times it, if it is often like this, you can reflect with the superiors, if it is occasionally like this once or twice, in fact, we do not have to be too with a newcomer to bother about the blessing of the subject matter of the subject matter of the happy and happy \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The very answers all give you good advice. Let me talk to you from a different perspective. Look at your question attributed to perspective and you can will understand it better. If you look at it from your personal perspective, you have no problem with your request and should be understood and respected. What if it's from the leader's perspective? What is more important, your claim or the couple's claim? Who's sin cost him the least? Obviously the couple is two people at work, and labor is counted from two, while you are only one. They are also stronger than you in stability. So it's obvious that the cost of your sin is minimized, even if you quit they can find someone to replace you. But with a couple gone, the leaders are looking for two people. You also mentioned other people, I think it's the older employees you are referring to in your question? They are older than you, and their stability is more stable for the company than yours. Your position in the factory is actually quite weak, it's a vision you can't see from your personal perspective. And it's what you can't see that is the hierarchical ordering of the factory. From the moment you go in, before you can be important enough to the factory, your value can be replaced by someone else at any time, and then when you have a conflict, a conflict of interest with someone else, you are the one that is prioritized to be brought in for sacrifice. However, this point it has always existed in your work environment, you usually can not see and touch, but it is there. It's just a matter of whether you are willing to recognize its existence and face it squarely. Then think about how to face the work, how to accept the leadership deployment. If you didn't realize it before, then through this incident if you can realize it, then although your interests are damaged, you learn the rules of this factory and the environment you are in before you are important enough to stay, you want to stay less talk, more work, listen to the arrangement. It may be safe for you. Of course you can't accept this environment, you still have the option of quitting. Change to a work environment you like.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, after reading your question carefully, I feel that you feel dissatisfied and aggravated with your boss for letting you switch shifts with your old employee at your expense. First of all, the boss, he thinks that everyone else wants to go home with their husbands and you don't, so it's logical that you should be the one to switch. This causes you a great deal of discomfort, that other people's needs are needs and your own shouldn't be. With the leader, he has a concept of what is desirable and what is not, while failing to see the equality of people and the inherent needs of each individual. Speaking for yourself again, his request made you feel resentful, but when he talked about other people wanting to return with their husbands, I guess from your words you didn't insist on your own opinion, and if that's the case, it seems like you recognize that other people want to return with their husbands, and that you don't need to, and that it's an entitlement to give it to them. And that your own needs are being ignored. Not bothering to assert your boundaries I guess could also be another issue, which is that you are attributing these behaviors of your boss to treating new and old employees differently. And based on the fact that he's the boss, he can only be condescending and obedient. When you see your own needs and that you are just as important as anyone else, you may be able to assert your boundaries more forcefully.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, hello~~~ give the subject a warm hug, for new employees and old employees, according to the reason that this is an unfair phenomenon: because there is no rule or standard that the company should give priority to the old employees at the expense of new employees, but this phenomenon is always often found by us I think this phenomenon, not because of the old employees than our status or ability, but because of the word \"old\": not that age how old, but that they have more interpersonal relationships, more understanding of the company, more than the old. I think this phenomenon is caused not by the fact that the older employees have a higher status than us or a higher ability, but by the word \"old\": not that they are older in age, but that they have more interpersonal relationships in the company, they know more about the rules of the company or the leadership, and they know more about how to \"utilize the rules\" in this environment! \"Imagine, if we work together in a team, plus their own A as the leader of a total of three people, B is my good friend, C is just met just joined the team, in a certain discussion B and C would like to end the discussion early today (but not necessary), but the work must be done by the two people, we in the face of the B and C's request. Will we prioritize letting B leave early because B is our good friend this layer of camaraderie I think the reality is that B is like a veteran employee and C is like a new employee, the relationship involved between the leader and the veteran employee will be more complex, and there may be this camaraderie as well, so it may be possible to prioritize them in many cases; and as a new employee, it may be very difficult for us to change this situation to make the workplace completely fair.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good evening \ufe0f owner! I'm glad to meet and get to know you here. Carefully read your message. Recently the leader on the unit gave you a shift. Let you feel uncomfortable in your heart. Hold back, unconvinced, feel unfair but can not do anything about it. This phenomenon of personal feeling most units will be so, the old staff have a certain experience and connections. Personally, I suggest that you go to work to earn a living wage, not to be angry with this phenomenon. What do you think? Last but not least, enjoy the conversation!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, the boss must have his own evaluation in mind. Simply looking at one side of the couple separated, the other side you did not say your own situation, if when you are free and single, it is true that the sacrifice of your willingness to overall loss is smaller. Regarding the fairness of such a trade-off, you can do a thought experiment, that is, the two of you bidding, she is willing to pay 1000 per month to you, you are only willing to pay 200 per month to her, she pays more then listen to her, and vice versa listen to you. Vote with your money and your respective losses can be measured.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5173
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I'm a high school girl who is introverted and blushes easily?",
        "description": "I'm a high school girl and I've always been introverted since I was a kid, and I blushed in middle school. Since I started high school, my blushing has become more and more serious and my heart is racing, I want to improve it, so people always think I am very shy and don't want to get close to me, it really bothers me, sometimes I blush when I am called by the teacher, and I blush easily when answering questions in class, so I am nervous, how can I improve it? How can I improve it?",
        "keywords": "Growth, character refinement, personality traits, student growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, I feel that the subject is a person who wants to change his introversion and is eager to start a friendship with others but the change needs to be done little by little. People always think I'm very shy and don't really want to get close to me. I feel that the subject cares a lot about other people's opinions, but in fact, your image depends on how you see yourself. In fact, your image depends on how you see yourself. Everyone is unique, and you don't have to be the cheerful and lively person that others say you are. If you feel you really need to make a change, make sure you set a goal for yourself in your own mind. For example, what topics will I talk to two people about today to prepare myself for communication. Being named by the teacher blushing heartbeat is because of care, especially care about other people's evaluation of their own care about the teacher's evaluation of their own If you are named one day, you do not care about what the teacher said, the things that appeared in the face of every contingency, you have the appropriate preparations, you will feel confident, you will not be blushing heartbeat. Answering questions in class is easy to blush and nervous because you are afraid of answering the question is wrong? In fact, people will only explore and analyze the answers you give, and will not evaluate individuals because of their answers. How to improve 1.Accept yourself and change slowlyIt is impossible to eat a fat person in one breath. People always need to change little by little, set some small goals, talk to one person today and two people tomorrow; talk about the topic and answer as much as possible to prepare in advance, you can anticipate if the exchange of what she will say.2. Do not care about the views of classmates classmates' views for secondary school students is very important. But in fact, everyone is unique, unique, they are more important to be themselves, not to be that cheerful and excellent people in the mouth of others.3. Try to speak more accustomed to, will naturally not feel nervous, try to raise your hand to speak more, sometimes even if you are not ready to answer the question, but also try to stand up and say a little bit of their own ideas. (This time you will find that your adaptability is very strong, and everyone's adaptability can be forced out.) 4. Answer the question is not right or wrong each person to answer the question is a point of view, basically no right or wrong to say. If it is the kind of more fixed answer. If they are wrong, people will not laugh at them, but rather reflect on whether they themselves have made such mistakes. And if the teacher raises this kind of fixed-answer question, it's because the teacher wants to test whether everyone has mastered this question, and if not, he or she will teach further, not to individuals. Believe in yourself, go for it! Good luck getting into your dream college and having so many friends who share their opinions together. There is no right or wrong, an opinion is an opinion. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, everyone lives in different environments, the people around them are different, the character is naturally different. Look at the owner said, this situation does belong to the very introverted, in many situations will blush. I can see that the owner is also very much want to change, since you realize their own shortcomings should think of ways to change. For example, you can actively exercise yourself, the more you are afraid of what to try to face what. Of course, you can't push yourself that way, everything should be gradual. There are classes, answer questions when you can privately communicate with the teacher, let him in the usual more draw you answer questions. This is a long time to exercise down, you will feel in fact answer the question is nothing. In the long run, I believe you, this situation will be improved. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, first of all a hug for you (\u3065. \u25d5\u203f\u203f\u25d5.)\u3065 Here I would like to say that shyness is actually a personality trait that manifests itself in feeling uncomfortable in social situations, nervousness, avoidance of contact with others as well as emotional avoidance. Shy people are often afraid to look at others when communicating, speak in a low voice, and always want to shrink inside their shells, choosing avoidance or evasive behavior patterns. Mild shyness doesn't matter much and won't affect our work life, but in more severe cases, it can affect our confidence, self-esteem and social functioning. So why are we shy? Psychological research has shown that there are these three psychological factors: 1, the lack of social skills a part of the people, because of their own upbringing no one to teach them how to greet others, how to take the initiative to talk to others as well as how the conversation can be maintained good communication, therefore, they simply do not know how to socialize. 2, social anxiety social anxiety is that in the presence of other people will have a feeling of uneasiness, the emergence of tense emotions, often appear when we and others will be or are having a conversation. Imagine, in front of you is a very attractive person, you want to get his like and recognition, you may be very concerned about their own expression and behavior, they say this right or wrong, how I express will be better, how he will look at me --- this time social anxiety is more obvious, this anxiety is mainly manifested in the evaluation of anxiety. 3, self-defeating prejudice self-defeating prejudice refers to the fact that we are in the social activities do not go well, shy people tend to know how to socialize. When things go well, shy people tend to have a specific tendency to blame themselves excessively and criticize themselves without hesitation. So what can we do to adjust these unrealistic or self-defeating beliefs?1. If two people are going to talk, one of them always has to take the initiative, so why can't I be the one to take the initiative?2. If a person doesn't immediately show a favorable impression of you, it doesn't mean that he doesn't like you. It sometimes takes a while to develop a good feeling for someone, and it takes some opportunities to develop that feeling.3. I start a conversation first, and if they don't like it, I can change the topic or let them come up with the topic, and it's good to be a listener and give back.4. If you take part in more social activities, such as joining clubs or groups, you'll have more The social skill is a skill that needs to be practiced constantly. Social skills are a process that requires constant practice. We can practice in front of a mirror or record ourselves to get a feel for and adjust our style. Also learn how to ask questions. A clever way to ask questions is to change the subject to the other person, e.g. What is your current job like? Sticking to something will make it meaningful, and consistent practice will help us overcome our shyness. I hope the above ideas and suggestions can help you a little bit, then I will feel very happy la! If you have any questions, please feel free to follow Watanabe Psychology official public number \"Watanabe Psychology Pro\".",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can sense that you're a particularly non-expressive type of personality, and generally keep things to yourself. As you grow up, you want to change some of that, but you're still not willing to open your heart to the outside world, and that may be the key. So, your blush came to protect you. This habit of yours is your protective umbrella, and to change, you need to feel safe inside first, and slowly remove this protective umbrella. In action, first try to approach others, you have tried many times, can this umbrella will become more and more useful, it will change.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21537
       },
       {
        "question": "Dull, talentless, aloof, no passion for anything, how do I change that?",
        "description": "Dull and no talent, can't socialize with people, don't want to deal with people, not very active, feel like I'm flat about everything, don't want to get involved in anything, no passion, indifferent to everything, want to change the status quo, positive life, but don't know what to do",
        "keywords": "Therapy, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If this state affects the normal interpersonal communication in daily work or study, it is more serious, and it is recommended that the subject find a counselor to talk about it, analyze the reasons together, and it may also take some time to solve it. If it is just at work or out of class time, do not want to participate in too many social activities, to other people's things are more flat, this should be the subject is more suitable, more like to be alone, do some quiet and calm things. This is just a different lifestyle with some friends around, is everyone's personality, habits are different, as long as you can feel relaxed, comfortable, able to release the pressure of work and study, is appropriate, there is no right or wrong, and there is no difference between which is more \"positive\". Do not like too lively occasions, they read books at home cooking; not willing to eat with unfamiliar people, every time with friends before going out, and they agreed to find only a few people who usually get along with them; I believe that real friends, is able to understand the subject's habits. Positive life, should be their own inner feeling, can feel a positive cycle, the specific form, there is no good or bad, suitable only fit.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18631
       },
       {
        "question": "Working class people, why are they so unhappy every time they spend a larger amount of money?",
        "description": "Yesterday, I spent 3,000 dollars on eyebrows, I feel very unhappy, firstly, the amount of money spent is large, secondly, I don't like the shape of the eyebrows. Think of yourself every time a one-time spend hundreds of thousands of on the self-blame, unhappy, blame yourself will not financial management, when will you earn money ah?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Don't like it? Didn't you look at the pictures before you did! If you don't particularly like it and go word a few thousand dollars, you really should reflect on your spending, maybe it's a climbing mentality!!!! Are you like that? For people who want to save money, it's normal to feel bad about spending too much haha. If you don't want to be sad then save some! I'm spending 2000 bucks a month now, including rent! That's frugal enough! How do you make money? It depends on what you know? A job can feed you and raise your standard of living, but it can never make you rich! Money management and side hustle you can try to understand! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6441
       },
       {
        "question": "Is self-destruction for peace of mind, grounding, anger?",
        "description": "Is self-destruction for peace of mind, solidity, anger? If not for that, then for what? Is it about insecurity? Or lack of love?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Developmental Laws, Work-Learning, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see your question, although I can't be sure whether the \"self-sabotage\" you are talking about is a physical injury to yourself or a mental or reputation injury, in any case, it can be considered a kind of attack on oneself. Generally speaking, when a person encounters anger, he or she will either attack outwardly or inwardly. In your case, you should belong to the inward attack, which is also an external dissatisfaction and a certain amount of anger, but when there is no way to express it outwardly or to the sender of the anger that caused you to be angry, he or she will turn inwardly and point to himself or herself. I wonder how you feel when self-destructive behavior occurs? What is it that comes to your mind internally at this time? A few personal thoughts that I hope will give you a little bit of food for thought.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing the word \"self-destructive\" shakes and hurts me inside. I don't know whether the question is for oneself or for others. I don't know what the person in question has gone through that he or she needs to \"fulfill\" himself or herself in such a drastic and determined way, at the cost of his or her own life. Perhaps he wanted to \"self-destruct\" in order to prove his right to himself, so as to attack those who wanted to \"control\" him; perhaps he wanted to \"self-destruct\" in order to prove that he was not what others thought he was! Maybe through \"self-destruction\" to prove that I am not what others think I am, \"I\" am also a \"bloody\" person; maybe through \"self-destruction\" to tell others that the world is so indifferent to \"me\", and there is no \"me\" worthy of \"me\". Maybe I want to \"self-destruct\" to tell others how indifferent this world is to \"me\", that there is no person or thing that is worth \"my\" attachment; maybe \"I\" want to \"self-destruct\" to keep a little bit of my own dignity if \"I\" am powerless to change anything; maybe \"I\" want to \"self-destruct\" to keep a little bit of my own dignity. Maybe \"I\" want to preserve my dignity by \"self-destruction\", if \"I\" am unable to change anything; maybe \"I\" think I am a redundant and useless person in this world, without any value and significance of existence; \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 We live in this world, surrounded by so many people, we unintentionally and this person, that person, this thing, that thing seems to have a relationship, produce a connection, that they need to rely on \"them\" to exist. Without them, we may not be able to stand on our own. But the truth is that I am the background and premise of all this, and without \"my existence\", where does it all begin? Without the existence of me, what is the meaning of everything? So no matter what happens, it's better to take care of yourself first!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, it is important to get a good understanding of self-sabotage. Self-Destructive Personality People with self-destructive personalities always continue in a cycle of self-destructive behavior - self-blame - period of introspection - period of plateau - continued self-destruction. This is accompanied by procrastination, depression, agitation, distraction, and exhaustion. They will endlessly avoid things that would otherwise have to be done and would be easy, with a manifestation of secretly expecting the worst. They will have extreme thoughts about things they can't change, trapping themselves in misery that they can't extricate themselves from. (From the Internet, psychology consultant Zhao Yijin) Additional definitions: \ufe0f There is a personality called \"self-destructive personality\", is a kind of extreme paranoia, often in order to escape or forget prefer to fall into an untenable destructive situation; \ufe0f Self-destructive personality will be \"mistrust\" to see the world, so as to camouflage, \ufe0f Self-destructive personality will use \"mistrust\" to see the world, so that they can not change the world. The self-destructive personality sees the world in terms of \"distrust\", as a means of camouflage, as a means of resistance, as a means of expecting to be able to live with the assumption that the people and things they hold dear will surely abandon them; the self-destructive personality is obsessed with scars, never fearing pain, and loves to rub salt into the wounds; the self-destructive personality and the darkness of the emotions are attached to each other as an unending spiral; the self-destructive personality is exactly that, narcissistic, the ego is a labyrinth, and it's a fanatic, needing to be abandoned, but failing repeatedly. The self-destructive personality often plays the role of the wounded, able to easily self-injure, self-loathing, use hate as a vicious disguise, and fall into the maze of bruises; \ufe0fOptimist builds up beliefs for maybe a day, pessimist for maybe a year, and self-destructive people may spend their whole life without getting what they wish for. ...... \ufe0fSelf-destructive personalities, however, tend to be naive, often daring to love and hate, often careless, often cherishing, often obsessive; \ufe0fSelf-destructive personalities will often have the ultimate opposite effect - self-protection; \ufe0fBut, they have a secret, they want to be healed, and someday, maybe they can really restrain their ego and open up and learn to be unreservedly happy, and on that day, that self-destructive code of destruction is then turned off as well as the above maybe the subject doesn't have any of these emotions above and is just stressed out for a short period of time and the negative emotions are kicking in. Self-destruction means the destruction of something about the self, finding relief in denying oneself, no way to reconcile with oneself. Suggestion: \ud83e\udd84 Read more philosophical books and seek relief from deep thinking about the self.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 524
       },
       {
        "question": "Junior in high school, severe social phobia, frequent heart palpitations and sweating and shaking, as if he has a mental problem?",
        "description": "Originally very lively, about sixth grade a little introverted, but I did not experience anything, somehow I do not dare to socialize, the first year of serious, no matter familiar or not familiar with the people are completely afraid to look at (in addition to family members), and then faced with the original very familiar friends also do not know what to talk about, and slowly are estranged very difficult to feel that they have changed, because the words are less and less, very nervous, and would like to get back to their former selves, and as a result of the more and more serious, now! I don't know why as long as there are people in the field of vision I will unconsciously aim at ta, can't control it, the other side will also look back at me very strangely, I'm afraid that other people think I'm strange, and now less and less go out to contact with people, the class is very tormented, looking up at the blackboard will unconsciously aim at the left and right classmates or the teacher next to the blackboard, and sometimes they also look back at me strangely (later I asked two students said they felt my gaze), in the street also unconsciously aim at me (later I asked two classmates said that I felt my gaze). ), in the street also unconsciously glancing at passers-by, very tormented want to change, I do not know whether it has to do with my introversion; or can not meet people's eyes; chatting is very nervous, especially acquaintances, always thinking of how to say the right humor, the result is that more and more can not chat more and more talk less and less; do everything is nervous, easy to shivering cold sweat heartbeat accelerated, talking to people will be shaking and sweating, meet the difficult problem will be sweating heart palpitations, the final exam can not write the whole thing! Even so nervous that I want to vomit.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Therapeutic Approaches, Counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello student: your problem is very much like neuroticism, you have a mental health problem. The causes are multiple, both related to adolescent experiences and family, an emotional and behavioral state of imbalance. I hope you find a counselor sooner rather than later for a phase of counseling so that the counselor can help you get out of your current situation as soon as possible. In detail, realize that if you want to look at the other person, just look at them greatly, and keep your gaze below the other person's eyes and above the chest. Physiological aspects of the difficult place, should be self-management, scientific response. Chatting with personal characteristics is good, do not have to be set in stone. It is recommended to look for a psychological counseling teacher.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13773
       },
       {
        "question": "The heart is extremely cold. What's the difference between a human and a rag doll?",
        "description": "When I was a child, the domestic violence was very violent, resulting in that state of mind, the heart is extremely cold and I have never felt the heart or any other positive emotions.  Only then did I realize that I was crying. When I turned my head when the bottom of the heart to produce a trace of remorse to go after out but did not catch up, I also did not look for her she did not come back to the school for a shift, the heart only in a flash, but also this trace of remorse in the future to save me, I am always in the life of the turning point of the time to make the wrong choice, so my heart has been in pain. For a long, long time I didn't know why I was suffering until something bad started happening to me, in that state I couldn't control myself subconsciously at all, falling, starting to understand myself, I remembered many times things, but I still didn't know how to choose my life,...",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear subject, contrary to what you say about indifference, I think you are actually a person with a passionate heart, it's just that you are afraid of disappointment, or afraid to love yourself, that's why you have closed your own heart. The difference between a human and a rag doll? You still don't get it bleh, that's of course that human beings have feelings, but ragdolls don't; human beings can make changes, but ragdolls never will. \"Those who are lucky spend their lives being healed by their childhood, those who are unlucky spend their lives healing their childhood.\" For a variety of reasons, in fact, many families will always have a variety of deficiencies in their children's education. It is undeniable that the influence brought by the family of origin is huge, but the negative influence brought by the family of origin is not fatal, not irreparable and unchanging. I don't know if you have read the book \"The Courage to be Hated\"? Freud believed in determinism, that one's past experiences would determine the status quo; but Adler argued for teleology, that all of our present circumstances are of our own choosing. Sounds a bit nonsense, even shocking right? I too have always suffered from the problems caused by my family of origin, and when I get frustrated, I can't help but think, \"If I hadn't been born into this family, I'd be better off, happier, and more blessed.\" But thinking like that, it's not like I would have made any changes, any effort. So I actually, without realizing it, used my family of origin as an excuse for my lack of progress. When I realized this, I tried to discard the idea that my life shouldn't be dictated by the outside world. The reason why you suffer after making choices is partly because the choices you make are not at all what your heart wants and expects; and partly because the consequences of those choices cause you distress. We can't deny our past, it is because of those past experiences that we have become who we are today; but we can't be swayed by the past either. Before you find your own direction, try more. Experience more and have a good time.",
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          "answer_text": "If we have to say what is the difference between a human being and a ragdoll, perhaps it is that a human being has emotions and thoughts, while a ragdoll is more often than not just a companion.1. The influence of the family of origin is indeed enormous. Since there is little warmth and understanding in the family, more often than not there is domestic violence and quarrels, and one does not get the care of the family, so in many things we slowly begin to close their hearts, not willing to communicate with others. The indifference of the family makes us not know what feelings feel like, and it seems that no one ever understands themselves, and they don't need to understand others. Therefore, when others confessed we acted indifferently, it seems that everything has nothing much to do with themselves, but for each other we should also have a good feeling, just don't know how to express their feelings, so they chose to refuse. But after the other party left some of their own performance or triggered the depth of the letter of some of the emotions, so we can sometimes appropriate let go of their own emotions, because now we are grown up, some things can make their own decisions. 2. Do not make a major decision in the case of irrationality. When we feel that we can't handle some major decisions for the time being, or when we wish we could hear some pertinent advice from others, we can ask the people around us for advice. We can ask people around us for advice, or if we don't want to talk to people around us, we can come to this platform to explain our problems and the solutions we can think of. We can work together to simply analyze, to see what is suitable for themselves, we can make what adjustments, sometimes a person is easy to walk into a dead end, more than one idea may have a different idea. The world and I love you.",
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          "answer_text": "The owner of the building hello, see the owner of the childhood experience, warmth is also very painful, first to the owner of a big hug ~ \ufe0f read the owner of the expression, warmth in the eyes of the owner of the building is not a cold person ah, on the contrary, warmth, warmth think the owner of the building of a soul inside the hot, and indifference may be just the owner of a shell to protect themselves just. \ufe0fDomestic violence is an irreversible disaster when it happens to anyone. Children who have experienced domestic violence since childhood, how fearful and helpless they should be inside, but the child's self-esteem does not allow themselves to be so weak, so the child chooses a seemingly strong way to face life - indifference. For childhood, each of us does not have the right to choose, but for the future, our life is in our own hands. \ufe0f\ufe0fWarmly glad that the owner did not become self-loathing because of these gray experiences, which is enough to prove that the owner's heart is strong and tough, the owner has been great. For childhood, we can only give ourselves reflections \ufe0f. \ufe0f Having seen these painful images for ourselves, we should not let others experience them in the future. The owner has to learn to take care of himself, comfort himself, and not to let his children or family suffer the same pain as the owner. \ufe0fBesides that, Nuan also suggests that the owner can put more attention on himself, we shouldn't pay for the mistakes of the previous generation's remorse, or return to our own life trajectory. \ufe0f\ufe0f I wonder if the owner has thought about what kind of person he wants to be in the future, what career he wants to do in the future, and what deficiencies he thinks he still needs to improve? \ufe0f\ufe0fThe owner must study hard, reading is the easiest way to cross the class, this is both for their own salvation, but also for the family's salvation. \ufe0f\ufe0f The owner can also learn some of their favorite things. For example, fitness and sports, skin care and clothing collocation, interpersonal communication, language, writing, musical instruments, etc. In the process of learning, the owner will also meet a group of like-minded partners, who and the light of love can dispel the darkness. The owner has to believe that the sea of people, there is always that one person, waiting for you there, soothe your wounds, melt your shell, bring you happiness and joy. Lastly, warm wishes to the owner for the person he meets and a promising future \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Giving you a hug from across the screen ~ Domestic violence is indeed a fatal blow to a child, both physically and psychologically. It will form a childhood shadow for us, which will accompany us throughout the whole process of growing up. The most basic difference between a human being and a rag doll should be that human beings have seven emotions and six desires, while rag dolls do not. We can't choose the beginning of our life, but we can decide the course of its development. The past experience, it is real, no matter good or bad. What we can't let go of is just a view of the past, and what we show now is our true self. Learn to accept yourself and your past. And the one you rejected, you can't let go of her in your heart, she was a very important experience for you, so you feel very sorry for her. Now that it's in the past, let it go. \ufe0f The most important thing at the moment is to move forward and improve your hardware, your life is in your own hands. I think life is all about moving forward, how can anyone live with the hurt on their backs, forget it if you want to forget it, everyone's situation is different, and the way they choose to heal themselves is also different, focus all your energy on improving yourself, and you'll meet a better life! Finally give you a sentence: \"Life will not fail those who try hard and try hard, life is supposed to live up to their own.\" Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, to answer the owner's question: what is the difference between a human being and a rag doll? First of all, the obvious difference is that human beings are alive and able to express their emotions, express their opinions, and have seven feelings and six desires, whereas a rag doll is dead, and it is unable to make any expression or response. \"Those who are lucky spend their lives being healed by their childhood, those who are unlucky spend their lives healing their childhood.\" I don't think the owner is as apathetic as you say and everything doesn't matter, on the contrary I think you possess your own emotions, you just don't know how to express them and can only express yourself through a variety of behaviors and symptoms. Your heart also desires to be noticed, but you choose to hide your true emotions in the midst of one hurt after another. Just like the \"smiling man\" wearing a mask, you don't want to smile, but you are worried that others will be unfriendly and indifferent to you, you feel you need to smile to tell others that you are fine! But the real emotions only you know, do not dare to express to anyone, do not dare to tell others. Chaplin once said this kind of a paragraph: \"There are times when I feel that any contact with others makes me evil, as some romantics described, I was under pressure to make me misanthropic, I feel like a stranger in general, blocked outside the high walls of the world.\" I think maybe you weren't like this before, but after going through a series of bad things like domestic violence, you were afraid to outwardly reveal yourself for fear of causing trouble to others and for fear that people would look at you in a different light, so you restrained yourself from thinking about things and acted like you didn't care about it and didn't want to get in touch with people. My advice to you is: \u2460First of all, make yourself happy. Find things that interest you and divert your attention. Learn to express your emotions to others. The owner feels degraded and empty, I think it is the reason that there is no spiritual support. I think all of your everything is related to this, there is nothing worth to make you memorable, and there is nothing worth to make you think of people, that's why you feel emotionless and indifferent. Mental pillars are a positive mental thing, and hints can inspire one to keep going. Different people have different spiritual pillars, or ideals, or love, or the pursuit of a certain thing. When a person's spiritual needs for a long time can not reach a certain satisfaction, it will produce a sense of emptiness and degradation. My suggestions for this are: \u2460. Cultivate a hobby, even if it's watching TV every day. \u2461. You can keep a pet, so that you have something to think about. \u2462. Find a time to have a good vent. I think these may be very difficult for you to implement at first, but I believe that as long as you push yourself a little bit, when you take the first step, you will realize the beauty of this, the world is so wonderful, and you are worth it because of it. I hope the owner will be happy and have fun every day! \u3297 All the best! (Reference from: Book \"Don't Let Your Emotions Hurt You, Girl\").",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this friend! Reading your description reminds me of a quote from the founder, Mr. Huang Qituan: \"All the indifference in the world is the cold storage of warmth!\" , the fact that you were still able to shed tears after rejecting her in junior high school shows that you can still express your emotions and that you are able to [love] others! It's just that your [domestic violence] experience as a child caused you to refrigerate your own [warmth] and [love]. I'll give you a warm hug first (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065 My counselor always says: \"There is no right or wrong, everything is just right!\" I'm not sure if I'm right or wrong, but I'm not sure if I'm right or wrong! On the surface, this is a mistake. In fact, if you think about it, she is God sent to your side [to help] you open your heart, so that you understand that you understand [love], will [love]! From this point of view, her appearance, your rejection of her, is not [just right]? You just met the right person at the right time and did the right thing! Your so-called [domestic violence], this is indeed morally and legally impermissible, the abuser should indeed be punished! However, if you deeply analyze the psychological roots of those domestic abusers, in fact, they are also [victims] in their growing up process, just that they are unable to correctly recognize their life experience, so that now they become [perpetrators]! Do you understand your family's upbringing? What I'm trying to say is this: no matter what you've been through in the past, you are not [doomed]! You can get change if you want it! You say you don't know how to choose your own life, in fact, you can at least in two aspects of a clear choice: 1. You suffered domestic violence when you were a child, but you can choose not to become a new [abuser] in the future; 2. If you meet a similar girl, you can choose to open up to her, rather than indifferently rejected! Finally, a quote from my psychological mentor: *When you try to change another person, you are actually judging him to be less good than you. The truth is, everyone in the universe is perfect. In fact, everyone doesn't like to be changed by others, everyone only likes self change. Because self-change is joyful, being changed by others is painful, and it is human nature to seek pleasure to escape pain. So the greatest love you can have for those around you is to live yourself and influence others. When another person is not done experiencing his own game and he wants to experience everything, he is not going to be changed by anyone. So please allow everything to happen, as it was meant to be, so please allow him to change himself. You just need to wake yourself up and be happy with yourself. Love overflows, let love fill you and flow through you and to others without expecting anything in return. For life, our greatest lesson is to become love! I have traveled a thousand miles to realize that I am the root of everything and love is the answer to everything! Experience this passage well! Allow yourself to be a light that illuminates yourself and shines around you! I hope this helps you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11369
       },
       {
        "question": "Fighting with my boyfriend is so hard, why is it always my problem every time we fight?",
        "description": "Arguing with my boyfriend is so hard, every time no matter if I'm angry or break down and cry, it ends up being my fault, he says every time that this is how you are and how you are, and there are actually times when I'm not what he says I am, but it never sounds right with him, and he's so angry that he gags me and I can't say anything. When he wants to break up, he says he loves me very much. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Quarrels, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, very understand your feelings from your description that you and your boyfriend's advice contradictory to some of the arguments, you use the way is angry angry or break down and cry, your boyfriend said that you are every time this way, it seems that this sentence is in the expression of their own emotions you use the way of a kind of dissatisfaction, you are also because you are not what he thinks, and feel aggrieved, it seems that you do not have effective communication to debug their behavior seems to be where the conflict in your relationship is. communication to debug your respective behaviors, and it seems to be where the conflict lies in your relationship. Whenever there is a conflict, try to communicate calmly with the other person, because whenever you use your emotions to express your thoughts, it is aggressive, and the other person will instinctively choose to defend or hit back because of your attack. A more feasible way is to describe the matter first and then tell the other person how you feel, and finally make suggestions, such as \"What did you do today that made me feel bad, I hope you pay attention to the next time, okay?\" Finally, I recommend that you and your boyfriend read \"Nonviolent Communication\" to learn a more scientific way to express each other's feelings and thoughts, and to facilitate effective communication. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner! It's hard to have every argument whether it's anger or breaking down and crying, every time the other person thinks it's your own problem. Hugs to you! \ufe0fWhether it's anger to rage or sadness to crying, it's an expression of emotion and there is no right or wrong. His comments about you are many times unacceptable for you to defend and not be accepted. The other person will also get angry because they don't accept your argument to the point where you feel very overwhelmed. Criticism often implies expectations. Criticism of others is actually an indirect expression of our unmet needs. If a person says, \"You never understand me,\" they are actually longing for understanding. If we make a claim by criticizing, the response should often be an argument or counter-argument. Conversely, if we state a need directly, others are more likely to respond positively. However, most people are not used to thinking in terms of needs. When things aren't going our way, we tend to think about what's wrong with others. How to make intimacy more harmonious, you can try some of the practices in the book \"Nonviolent Communication\", you can think about these expressions, modify them, and sometimes do not necessarily have to say it out loud, but also can be self-awareness. 1, honestly express yourself without criticizing or blaming: I hear you say so \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 I feel so \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 Because I need \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 Would you like to \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 .2. Listen to others with concern when you hear \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 You feel \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 Because you need \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 So you want \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002 Painful time, even want to end the intimate relationship, but the other person tells you that he loves you very much. You can feel that you still care about the intimacy with each other. It's a warm and fuzzy thing to have someone love you. The world and I love you. \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1123
       },
       {
        "question": "How do novice counselors handle visitors shedding things?",
        "description": "Novice counselor with a visitor who falls off after a few counseling sessions. How should I find out why the visitor is falling off? How do I adjust to feeling a little battered? How to deal with a visitor's shedding?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner: I understand how you feel. As a new counselor, since there are not many cases at the beginning, we treat each case with extra importance and make all kinds of preparations before counseling. However, after a few counseling sessions, the visitor suddenly falls off, and this kind of pigeonholing makes us feel that all our previous efforts to prepare have been in vain. I understand this feeling of loss very well. Now let's talk about what causes a visitor to fall off? Factual reasons: There are many reasons for a visitor to fall off the appointment, such as being too busy at work, something at home, a turnaround in the psychological situation, and so on. However, if we look at the deeper reasons, the mindset of the missed appointments is estimated to be related to the following two situations: (a) Insecurity In the process of psychological counseling, we usually look for the deeper causes of the problem from the problems that the visitor is currently displaying. These deep-rooted causes will involve some privacy of the visitor. While digging deeper into this privacy, it will make the visitor question the counselor's professionalism and whether he or she can trust this person. This feeling will make the visitor wander, wandering whether he or she will undergo psychotherapy again. The reason for this insecurity to be externalized is what we often hear, something at home, too busy at work, and so on. (B) the sense of shame psychological counseling, although not a new thing, but at the current stage, the public still has some misunderstanding of it, the most common is that people with mental illness need psychological counseling. When visitors are emotionally disturbed, forced to accept treatment, in fact, deep down, still feel that accepting psychological counseling because they are sick. The visitor's heart, in fact, did not really accept the psychological counseling. When a counseling session is over and the visitor's mood has been eased, he or she feels that he or she is no longer sick and does not need to come back. At such times, the visitor may feel that he or she is not sick psychologically because he or she does not come to counseling. The \"sense of shame\" buried deep in the depth of consciousness or even subconsciousness may cause the visitor to fall into a new conflict, and thus feel anxious and uneasy. Thus, the psychological defense mechanism is activated, and there are all those reasons that there are things at home, work is too busy, and emotions have been relieved. So, in response to the fact that the appointment was missed, how should we adjust our mindset?1. Before counseling, communicate well with the visitor in the preliminary appointment or consultation, the counselor should be transparent and sincere to the visitor to carefully explain the relevant process of counseling (such as the confidentiality of the content of the consultation, etc.), to minimize the insecurity of the visitor.2. Do a good job of counseling review work at the end of each consultation, the counselor After each consultation, the counselor can recall the dialogue with the visitor in the consultation process, the atmosphere of the situation to do a relevant summary. Through this kind of summary, we can see whether it is because of some details in the consultation process, caused by the visitor's state of mind changes, so that no longer choose to continue to consult. Finding out the reasons will help us to improve ourselves in the process of counseling.3. Let the public understand the significance of counseling In fact, counselors can introduce counseling to the public by opening their own public number, personal website, etc. We should try our best to let lay people know the meaning of counseling. We should try our best to let lay people know that counseling is a kind of mental health care and counseling is not equal to psychiatrist. Most of the time, we deal with the daily confusion of our visitors. In fact, counseling is a profession that helps people to help themselves as well. Even if the visitors miss their appointments, we can still see from them what we need to improve in the counseling process. By constantly summarizing and thinking, we can go farther and farther on the road of counseling. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There are so many possibilities for reasons, not all of which are necessarily yours. What you need to do is to study further with an experienced teacher for some days, and not take the interview lightly. That may not be very beneficial to others or to you. When you have a certain sense of the basis of real experience, have confidence, it will be easy to go into the problem itself, the expression will be more usual, the problem will be solved more deeply and practical, do not stay in the theory and chicken soup, to promote the visitor's self-understanding, acceptance, and will go into a virtuous circle.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20246
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you resist communication and communication?",
        "description": "I don't know when I started to avoid communicating with people, but I think that socializing with people is an unbearable burden. I'm not completely sociopathic, but I'm not shy and formal because I'm a stranger, and I'm very generous and natural when I speak on stage. I don't have any problem talking to people, but I feel a great deal of psychological pressure because I have to talk to people. My personality is a little bit introverted, but I usually like to joke and talk a lot, but this kind of mental state has brought me a lot of negative impacts, so I would like to ask you all what I should do in this situation.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear subject~ I feel that I have the same situation as you when I read your description: I am able to deal with other people comfortably, I don't have any problems with social terrorism, but sometimes I find it a bit difficult to express myself and talk to other people. I'm not so happy to communicate and deal with others. I think you are also like this, right? First of all, let's analyze the reasons for this kind of psychology, the influence of the family of origin, like me, because my own family is a family where the discussion and communication is not so enthusiastic, and the family members seldom express their love and their own feelings. So over time, I am not so good at expressing my true thoughts and communicating my emotions with others. For example, sometimes I have an opinion about someone and I usually hold back. A weird kind of self-esteem Sometimes I don't talk to others about the difficulties I encounter, usually because I feel that once I tell others about my negative emotions and encounters, it means a kind of weakness, so in order to maintain my \"strength\", I choose to digest any problems by myself silently. I don't know how to express my negative emotions, but they always come out of nowhere, and I don't know what the reasons are, and I don't know where to start even if I want to talk about them because they have accumulated over a long period of time. So I refuse to communicate. Below, combined with some of my experiences, to provide some suggestions for your reference to find their own trusted people, try to share their true thoughts, and accumulate the joy of expression when I really feel very difficult, can not self-expression, I will find my good friend to say their own heart, every time when I finished, although my friend may not have put forward any constructive suggestions, but just with her to share their own heart, I will not know what to say. I felt happy just sharing my heart with her. And that joy will motivate you to continue to express it the next time. Analyze your own emotions When I feel complicated and confused and can't find the reason, I will take a pen and a piece of paper, write down my current emotions and things I encountered, and then push it down layer by layer, to see what causes my current emotions, and when I push it down to the point where there is no way to solve the problem, this is the place where you need to communicate with someone to solve the problem. Cultivate your ability to communicate Here I would like to recommend a book called \"Nonviolent Communication\". By reading many psychology books, we can slowly accumulate really good communication methods. Finally, the above views are only based on my personal experience and write, I hope to be able to the subject some slight help Oh ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner: You avoid interacting with people and feel that interacting with people is a huge burden. But your case is different from social terrorism because you don't have a fear of interacting with strangers. The mental state of not wanting to interact with people has a great negative impact on you. You feel the need to communicate, but inside you don't want to. Your feeling of ambivalence is something I understand very well. Not in a hurry, let's first look at what caused your current situation.1, depression or anxiety caused by I do not know the owner of the building you do not want to communicate with others before the situation, whether you have encountered some unhappy or let a person feel depressed about things. We have all had an experience that is in a very bad mood, not willing to talk, not willing to communicate. If the owner has experienced this type of thing, it is advisable to first unravel the knots that are making you depressed and anxious. When after the detoxification of depression and anxiety, we do not want to communicate with the problem will also be solved. 2, feel not understood, the performance of escaping reality in fact, for most people who do not want to socialize, are feeling that they do not have friends, do not need friends, and do not need to socialize. Many times we have had this experience, that is, when we express the point of view did not get each other resonance, or did not get solved, in the next communication, we will lose the desire to communicate. Since no one understands, it's our truest thought to leave it unsaid. And, over time, we have lost the desire to communicate, and feel that communication is a great mental burden. 3, maintain the inner sense of security in psychology, the distance between people is divided into three zones: the comfort zone, stretching zone and panic zone. These three zones represent the individual state of mind in different social states. And each of us, internally, has a protective mechanism. Our subconscious mind believes that not talking to others is the safest. The owner also mentioned that you have a bit of an introverted personality. Therefore, for you to live in the psychological comfort zone for a long time, once you are familiar with this kind of \"do not communicate with the outside world\" atmosphere, you will not be willing to leave this comfort zone again. Therefore, when you think of socializing and communicating, you will feel great psychological pressure. So, for the owner of the problem, we should do?1, try to find the reason, express their emotions if the owner of your current state is related to their previous experience, it is recommended that you find the reason on the basis of the first discharge of their emotions. The bell must be tied, only to find the cause of your current thinking, you can really make a change. 2, jump out of the psychological comfort zone, do not give yourself a label unwilling to communicate with people, the most difficult to change is habit. Psychology is the same, when we are in the psychological comfort zone for a long time, long-term self-suggestion, that they are not willing to communicate, then we will increasingly hate to communicate. We've all felt it at one time or another, and when we're done venting our sadness, if we try to laugh, we'll actually become happy. Cognition, emotion, and behavior can all influence each other, and when we try to communicate more with the outside world, our behavior changes. Over time, our cognition will also change, and at that time, you, the owner, may not be afraid of communication anymore, and no longer feel that communication with people is a mental burden. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, the owner's situation is that you have interpersonal skills, the confidence to express yourself in front of everyone, and a humorous wit, but emotionally, you always feel that you don't want to do these things. Possibly because of the following two reasons: 1, there must be a very important reason behind your avoidance behavior, you don't want to talk to people, because talking to people needs to spend energy to listen, to understand, to cater to, at this stage, you want to do is to stay in your own world of quiet thinking, don't want to be disturbed, don't want to spend effort to deal with interpersonal relationships. This means that, in the past, you feel very energy-consuming in the handling of interpersonal relationships, and now you are in an overall low level of emotion, and want to take a break to replenish your inner energy before moving forward. 2, the state of depression strikes, affecting your behavior and life. In fact, everyone has depression, which is our normal emotional performance, but when this mood lasts for a period of time, such as a week or even a month, we call the state of depression, this state is not necessarily because of what comes, and not necessarily and you say hello to him, he came to come. But no matter how long it lasts, whether you know what he is or not, you will find that your mood is a little different, you may not want to communicate with people too much, you like to stay alone, there is no motivation to do things, more and more lazy, do not want to move. But this will soon pass, because we still need to live, we still want nice things, just like the owner, and don't want to be too negatively affected by this mood. Then we will activate our self-healing device, we will try to stick to our normal life, and we will also find friends around us to talk about our inner distress, and at the same time go and discover interesting things around ourselves to accompany this emotion. As for the owner's question about what I should do, I think it's like the last sentence: live with this emotion for a while. Fear and worry we say it, accept their own state, stay with their own emotions for a while, cry if you want to cry, make a scene if you want to make a scene, a lot of life's constraints are their own to themselves.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, I would like to thank the owner for his trust and invitation! When I read your question, I can feel your helplessness and pressure on the current situation. You said that you feel psychological pressure in the matter of \"talking to people\", I wonder if you have thought about what part of your psychological pressure is mainly in? Is it the fear that you can't respond well to others? Or are you afraid of the emotions in other people's voice? Or are you afraid of the consequences of talking to others? Or ......? By understanding your specific stress points first, you may be able to get to the root of what's holding you back more quickly. I'll share a story with you about a high school girl who a year ago started feeling sad and upset often and inexplicably, and sometimes suddenly couldn't stop crying. Through communication, she determined that the main reason for this emotion was every time she felt bad with her classmates and saw that everyone else was gathered together and she was alone. At that moment, her inner voice said, \"No one cares about me, I am helpless.\" After further exploration, she remembered that when she was in the second grade, she wrote a letter to her grandpa for his birthday and waited for everyone's affirmation and appreciation with great expectation in her room, but she did not expect everyone to read it and then call her out and ask her, \"Did you copy this? \"Did you copy this?\" The adults, including Grandpa, all wanted her to tell the truth, to say whether she had copied it or not. She said that the image was that they were all in cahoots, no one recognized themselves, liked themselves, they were full of grievances that they couldn't even talk about, so helpless, so sad. Our emotions do not arise for no reason, it is possible that in some particular occurrence, stuck in our self-confidence and strength, so on the one hand you can think about the source of their emotions, on the other hand, if you really want to make a difference, then break through their own worries and try more. True bravery isn't what I dare to do, it's what I dare to try even though I have worries and fears. Blessings to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to you (*\u02d8\ufe36\u02d8*)*~ Thinking that socializing with people is an unbearable burden that makes you need to struggle very hard internally to start talking to others must be very painful for you. \u30fd(^\u0414^*)/[\u2460 Character is a little introverted, but usually more like to joke and talk more amusing. \u2461 will not be because it is a stranger and shy and formal, on the stage to speak also generous and natural.] You have good social skills, so it's only your inner barriers that stop you from talking. You don't want to interact with others, but you can make very funny jokes. You tell jokes to amuse others, right? When you tell jokes, when you interact with others, are you really having fun? Are you telling jokes to others to please them? Hugs to you (*\u0e53\u00b4buzzing \u0e53) 1\u20e3 Identify that barrier that is preventing you from interacting with others. What's really going on inside you? \u25aa Are you afraid of negative responses from others? Are you afraid of people not responding to you? \u25a0 Do you have feelings of loneliness in your relationships? Loneliness is the subjective discomfort experienced when our social relationships lack some important characteristic. A deep, abiding loneliness that comes from within.  2\u20e3Change Incorrect Perceptions \u25a0 You can't always get the response you want. Communication isn't about shouting at a mountain and then getting an echo. \u25a0 Not knowing how you communicate with your family. Maybe family and friends are the most helpful. \u25a0 Desensitization training Practice communicating with people more often and gradually get used to communicating with them. \u3297 I wish you a speedy break from your situation. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject! I can see your worries from between the lines of your words, and I give you a strong hug, hoping that my words can warm you. From the subject's question, we can see that the subject can speak on stage with ease, and it is not afraid to speak with strangers, but just have psychological pressure to speak with strangers. In fact, many people have psychological pressure to communicate with strangers, the subject does not have to worry too much. After all, everyone's personality is different, and we have to accept our unique selves. If the subject wants to change this psychology, you can try the following practices. First, find a job that must talk to find a sales or must talk to the work, every day to force themselves and strangers to communicate and talk to see you around the people are communicating with strangers and want to be very common things, you will try to communicate with strangers, accustomed to communicating with strangers and strangers have no psychological pressure. Second, imitate others usually can observe more people around, those who are good at communicating with strangers, how they do, try to imitate them first. Third, the self-psychological hints suggest that they do not have to have psychological pressure to talk to strangers, so that they go out and communicate with strangers, you will find that there is no great difficulty in communicating with strangers to find self-confidence after the pressure will not be. I hope my answer can help you, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It feels like the owner should have gone through something, or maybe something the owner didn't realize had some effect on the owner. Without giving the owner any advice for now, I would like to talk to the owner about my story. It was worst when I was a freshman in college. At that time, I was very resistant to interacting with people and participating in group activities. Then I felt that this was not okay and wanted to make a change, and I started to think back on why I became this way. In the end, I realized that it was the fact that in junior high school there were always classmates who talked behind their backs about those who loved to talk and show off, and I heard such words so much that I inadvertently started to make changes to myself. Discovering the cause of my problems, I began to unclog my mind, give myself positive mental suggestion, tell myself that the words of my classmates at that time were the words of youthful ignorance and thoughtlessness, and tell myself that it is possible to communicate with people. Slowly, I found my own change, from the beginning of the resistance, to slowly accept, and now with people to communicate with no problem. (I was the most serious stage, even a taxi do not want to talk to the driver.) The owner can give themselves some positive mental suggestion, every morning and evening to suggest that they can communicate with people. Relax yourself, don't put too much pressure on yourself, and make communication a daily routine. Hugs to the owner, I'm sure the owner will be able to stop avoiding communicating with people, go for it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14059
       },
       {
        "question": "18 year old girl, depressed for seven years, usually thinks too much, what can I do?",
        "description": "I've been thinking a lot since I was a kid, and I often blame myself in my mind, so I have a long history of depression and self-inflicted suicidal tendencies, and I'm taking medication to control it. I want to help people who are in the same kind of pain as I am, so I want to get a counselor's license, and I've already envisioned all the failures and dark experiences I can think of in life, so I feel like I'm capable of doing it, but my parents don't think I can do it because I'm not strong enough to be a counselor. Please help what should I do",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner you have looked at your home page, you have thirty answers, you can see that you are very sincere in giving support and advice to the questioner, the writing is beautiful and comfortable to read, and, you can combine your own experience to understand the feelings of the questioner, very good, give you kudos! Combined with your description in the question, you have a long history of depression and self-inflicted suicidal tendencies, yet you give warm companionship to others, which is even more rare. This reminds me of an American writer who wrote a book, \"Happy to be dead\", she herself is a severe depression and anxiety sufferer, she is often in a very bad mental condition, but as long as she is in a good state, she writes, and records some good things in her life, and shares them to give help to others. In fact, I think that having had some gray experiences myself actually helps to be a counselor. A counselor needs good empathy and the ability to put oneself in the shoes of the person seeking help. If you have had similar experiences and feelings yourself, you will be more able to empathize and really feel what the other person is feeling. So, if you are actively treating your depression and self-harming suicidal thoughts now, and if you are able to come out of your depression, you can use your personal experience to help those who are depressed, or otherwise emotionally disturbed, in the future. Many of the psychological gurus, the reason why they became gurus, is also inseparable from their own experiences. For example, Adler, who wrote Inferiority and Beyond, was himself deeply troubled by low self-esteem; the founder of Japanese Morita therapy, who was himself deeply tormented by obsessive-compulsive disorder; and Erickson, who founded hypnotherapy, which was initially designed to help himself. As long as you persist and continue to work hard, maybe one day you can become a great counselor. Although the attitude of your parents is also important, it is not the most crucial thing after all, the key lies in your own efforts, your own persistence. When your parents see your determination, maybe one day they will change their attitude too. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18756
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if I can't do any job well?",
        "description": "Have work experience, found on the pursuit of results are not good, such as doing sales, do not know how to find customers, know what kind of search, just can not find. Then do headhunting, see what others say the words are very easy, find people very easy, with them doing the same, the results of my results are not good. Previously thought that the project and environmental issues, and now turn to the A side of the 5-day period, or no results, looking for poor quality, before the company to spend money to open the channel, and now they are looking for their own channels, my brain is not flexible, the channel with the result is very optimistic, every day in a bad mood, sad, how to do?",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Work Stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You already know the answer, all the \"pursuit of results\" is not good, that is, we are only focusing on the results, distracted, too purposeful, as if we want to do sales, if the buyer can see that you just want to earn his money, then he certainly do not buy your things. If it is a negotiation, you express the focus on the other party's point of view to consider the problem, this whole thing if the success of the benefit to him, not to his loss... so that he feels that you are a very good character can be trusted, rather than the pure pursuit of utilitarianism, no matter what to do is helpful. ",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16196
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it worth it to make choices that go round and round and end up back at square one?",
        "description": "Often, in the face of many choices we go round and round, constantly looking for the \"best fit\", but in the end, we still go back to the beginning and pick up what we see at first sight. In fact, I would have liked, but must be compared before you are willing to make a choice, so it is worth it?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Personality Traits, Meaning in Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I think it's worth it. Love things at first sight. We always fall in love with many, many things at first sight. Love at first sight is a passion and an impulse that may soon fade away. We tend to see only the best points on the surface of the things we love at first sight and ignore the flaws. In this way, we will lose a sense of trust in things we love at first sight, we will burn out easily, and we will always feel that it is a bad decision made on impulse. Something that we go around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around again choosing. And after we compare the goods of the thing we love at first sight, we will be very clear to distinguish the advantages and disadvantages of this thing. If we can then go on to like it, it proves that we are really attached to this thing. Can accept its shortcomings, but also appreciate its advantages. This kind of thing we will use for a longer time. For example, if we go to the mall to shop, suddenly we like a dress, and at this time we just arrived at the mall. We would hesitate if this dress is the best and if we will like it more later. When we shop for a while longer and compare other dresses. We will still choose the first dress when we are very determined to take it with us and will like the dress more in the future as well. So comparisons like that are valuable. Although it will come back in the end around and around, you don't have the same emotions about the item ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "See the words as they are, and I hope that these words, will help you. There are many such things in life where we compare, hesitate, choose, and end up with the original answer. Is it worth it to do so? I think it is worth it. If you look at the results alone, choosing after hesitation is the same as determining what you chose in the beginning. But in this process of hesitation, we think about things, and this process of thinking, which seems to have little effect on the final result, is precisely the process of learning. And the repetition of this process allows us to grow in our thinking. Some people make choices based on their intuition, and they often get good results. But \"intuition\" is often the rapid feedback of accumulated experience. People may not realize the role of experience in this process, but it does exist. And experience is learned. Therefore, I think the process of hesitation is still quite important, and consciously exercising oneself to think methodically in this process may be a good way to make progress. But if there is excessive hesitation and delay in making a decision, try listening to your intuition, it might work wonders. It's been a pleasure to connect with you on your thinking, and I wish you the best of luck in progressing with each choice \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Whether it is worthwhile or not cannot be generalized, but has to be considered in the light of individual circumstances and the degree of importance. Everyone is a different individual, with different personalities, perceptions, and backgrounds, so how can we directly judge whether a choice is good or bad? If a person is in need of money, it may seem worthwhile for him to buy something from three different suppliers, right? But if the person's time is particularly valuable, say, working 996, is it worth it to spend so much time and energy? Or maybe he likes to live such a meticulous life, which can make him get pleasure from it, so is it worth it, or not? It seems so simple to go round and round, back to the beginning, as if it would have been nice to have made the choice in the first place. But our life is made up of such a process, and enjoying the process is the meaning of our existence as a human being, or all life. If we only look at the results, then we are born waiting for death, so this life, is it worth it?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone's personality is different, and it might be better to learn to do things with according to your personality. Other people are more decisive when doing a thing, maybe you can not, this is a different way. Things are good and bad, around and around, maybe it is the inner swing, to go through their own step by step verification and comparison, see clearly before choosing, but some things are missed is missed, which means that some opportunities will be lost. The good thing is, after you make a serious choice, you will be reassured by the final result. But I think if you have done this a lot of times, you should learn to summarize and not be so hesitant when faced with some choices. Whether it is worth it, I think it is to feel through, experience to really understand it, maybe one day you so many times will summarize their own experience, in the face of some unfamiliar things, but also always from the beginning of do not understand, and then a little bit to understand. I can only say that everyone's walking track is not the same.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12904
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do middle-aged divorced men like to find young rural women, what is the mentality?",
        "description": "The male friends around me like to find unmarried women from rural areas after ending their short and unfortunate marriages. But there is a huge gap between the two in terms of family origin education and work, and the girls are asked to be full-time wives. Such men are in what kind of marriage mentality?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, the concept of marriage",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, good afternoon! Sensing your curiosity. All the male friends around you prefer to look for unmarried women from rural areas after ending their short, unfortunate marriages. This reference actually I think is not very scientific, that is to say, all the short marriage around you, divorced men, all go to find rural unmarried women? But there is a huge gap between the two in terms of family background, education and job, and the girls all ask to be full-time wives. So if you can see the problem, why can't your male friends see it? What kind of marriage mentality are such men in? Actually, the easiest way is to ask your male friend directly, right? Because you have raised the question, what I would like to know is why this phenomenon has aroused your concern and curiosity so much, and I think it would be more in-depth if we could go further into this question, as I don't know any of your friends. Above, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5601
       },
       {
        "question": "25 year old girl, always drilling dead ends, unable to get out of her own sadness?",
        "description": "Everyone says I'm an objective and cheerful girl, I know I'm not. I care a lot about other people's attitudes and opinions, for example, when I met my guide and I in the hallway years ago, I greeted him and he ignored me and even glanced at me, I've been having a hard time thinking about whether or not I offended him in any way, and there are times when I think about it at night without thinking about it, and the more I think about it, the more I can't sleep, and in the end I can only force myself to think of something else that is happy in order to fall asleep. For example, in the last few days, I feel that my family pays more attention to my cousin because she is better looking than me, more articulate than me, more pleasing to my family than me, and has more friends than me, so I feel that I am not as good as her in any way. Whenever I'm with her, watching her talk and make others laugh, I feel like I'm constantly getting smaller and smaller, and I want to leave this place and be quiet, and their happiness has nothing to do with me. Sometimes a small mistake can make me break down and cry, feeling like a stupid waste of space, and I can get angry and cranky easily, and feel aggravated when things don't go my way. Sometimes I think about how good it must feel to jump off a building, even comparing the heights of the buildings at school and imagining the weightlessness of my leap, but I can't think about how sad my mom would be to learn of my death. Am I sick...",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed moods, Vulnerability to tears",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the owner. I can see that you are a well-observed, delicate, sensitive and empathetic person. This is your advantage, so you will observe and feel the world more carefully, have more in-depth thinking and exploration of self and others, and easier to pay attention to and care about other people's attitudes and opinions. When we live in this society and are in a group, we will consciously or unconsciously care about other people's opinions and behaviors towards us. This is an expression of making social comparisons, seeking group identity, and exploring self-worth. Therefore, your performance shows that your heart is very eager to get the attention and affirmation from others, and you are worried that there is something you do not do well enough to be recognized and loved by others. If other people's performance is abnormal, or does not clearly show your affirmation, you will unconsciously think that the other party is in denial of you, you do not get everyone's approval, it must be their own fault, where they do not do well. This kind of excessive concern about other people's attitudes and opinions, other people's evaluation, external reaction, and easy to negative interpretation, also shows that you lack of self-confidence in yourself, self-evaluation is not high, easy to self-denial, so you need to determine and enhance the sense of self-worth through other people's positive recognition, positive response. In order to gain the approval of others, you also have a pleasing mentality, hoping to gain their appreciation and affirmation through your pleasing obedience to others. If others don't show you affirmation, then they must not be doing a good enough job themselves. Excessive attention to external evaluation, and associated with their own to establish a direct causal relationship, negative interpretation, this mode of thinking after a long period of accumulation, has formed a habitual mode of thinking, which allows you to fall into a pessimistic and negative state, and the formation of a vicious circle. When you understand what you care about and where the knot is, you will have the opportunity and ability to find a way out of this cyclical vortex. \u2460 Shift your outward looking focus inward. Pay more attention to yourself, explore your strengths, discover your abilities, increase your self-confidence, affirm your self-worth, don't put your self-worth on the outside world's evaluation, and first affirm yourself. \u2461 Separate the self from the outside world for the subject, and frankly face and accept the outside world's evaluation. No matter what others think of you, how to treat you, are other people's subject, and can not replace your own life, and can not negate your efforts, you have to do what you want to do, rather than what others require or expect you to do, your evaluation and affirmation of yourself is the most important. \u2462 Abandon the mentality of pleasing. You are a very good girl, and you have not done anything wrong, you do not need to please anyone, and others do not need you to please in order to agree with you. If you need to please him to pay attention to you to affirm you, then he is not worth to please you. The love and appreciation that comes through pleasing is false and cannot last. \u2463Control the spread of negative thinking. When you find yourself in a negative thinking mode, thinking pessimistically about things, immediately remind yourself to stop thinking and do something else to divert your attention. You can try to set a \"pause button\" behavior for yourself, such as laughing three times \"hahaha\", stretching a big waist, taking 10 deep breaths, and so on. \u2464 Stop habitually establishing a direct cause and effect relationship with yourself, and try to find other reasons for other people's behavior that have nothing to do with you. For example, when the guide ignores you, instead of directly assuming that it is your own reason, you can guess that he may be in a bad mood himself or thinking about something else and not paying attention to you, etc. For example, if your cousin is getting more attention from her family, it may be because there is something about her that has attracted their interest lately, not because you are inferior to her. Your friends think you are an optimistic and cheerful girl, believe that you are not as bad as you think you are, you are good enough, what you lack is confidence and love for yourself. Love yourself, start with yourself. And the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, read your question first of all you are a person who cares too much about what other people think although the surface seems to be very optimistic and cheerful, in fact, this is a kind of inner lack of self-confidence performance. Psychology has a very interesting theory in this regard, called: the illusion of insight. To put it bluntly, it is a beautiful misunderstanding: you always think you are magnified in others. Ideas to do the following points you can get out of this misunderstanding 1. other people do not care so much about you, and do not care so much about you. 2. for you, in this world you are the most important. Other people and other people's opinions don't matter.3. Put your own needs first. Don't compromise yourself to fulfill others.4. Don't be afraid to offend others. Just be yourself, and firmly reject those you don't want, so that you can firmly maintain those you want.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, you say you have thoughts of leaving but the thought of your mom not being able to handle it makes you put that thought aside for a while. You are right to think that way, you are a good kid, you should go to the hospital if you can to see if you need to take medication, you will get better. You describe yourself as having met up with your guide and he ignored you, which made you sad. First of all, the reason why he ignored you was your own idea, you thought you offended him, then there could be other reasons too, like he didn't wear his invisalign, he was in a bad mood, and of course it could be that you offended him. So after you thought about it did you offend him or not? What was the result? Even if you offended him, did it really affect you objectively? Was it worth the trouble you had in sleeping? Regarding your cousin's question, you see that your cousin's excellence has gained more attention, and in combination with the example of the last counselor, I see your \"disallowance\". You subconsciously don't allow your cousin to be better than you, you don't allow people to pay more attention to her, you don't allow your guide to not see you, and you don't allow your guide to have his or her own ideas. Hello lemon, my dear! I'm not accusing you haha, I hope you see yourself full of jealousy and now all this jealousy that should have been used to attack others is now directed at yourself. I don't know what has happened in the 25 years of your life that would make you feel so bad about being ignored. But I do know that most people would like to get more attention for themselves, but eventually realize that only a few can do that, and we, like you, will always have people who are better than ourselves getting more attention from those around them. Including your cousin herself. The idea of you wanting to leave is also a desire for your mom to pay more attention to you, and her love for you won't diminish just because you're not as good as your cousin. You want more love, first learn to love yourself, love will be attractive, and someone who can love themselves must have love surrounding them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I and your feelings have a lot of the same place, I see the teacher is more like other students, I will also be jealous, obviously a piece but the teacher greeted with others ignore me, I will also suspect that will also be jealous of me how. But I feel that some teachers he is really unqualified, and then I found that the teacher has a lot of interests or relatives with the students, so with the teacher in this regard to do their own good, he did not accept you the first time do not accept the second time do not accept the third time do not pay attention to him, that really is not your reason. I also feel that jealousy is everyone has it is impossible to disappear. Feeling jealous of others can be as long as I control not to hurt others on the line. I usually don't get too close to the people I'm jealous of. Most of the time it's mostly about finding your own comfortable people and comfortable environments and I think that's pretty ok I don't think you're doing much with this. Or you can just ask the teacher why you ignore me ah, anyway, after the work will basically not see. Be spontaneous, everyone is the same.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21187
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it wrong for me to be a little considerate?",
        "description": "Tonight I took the bus home, my mother let a big man to send me, I see he has been on the phone, something, let him send me to not far from home, just less than ten minutes to the home of the place, and then my mother know, said I, I let him send you is to send you to home, you let him send you to that, then you walk slowly! Is it my problem?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Conflict, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "@Hello Subject, I hope this answers your confusion. Regarding the concern \"Is it wrong for me to be a little considerate of others?\" I feel that you are an understanding person who is considerate of others. In this case, from the mother's point of view, she might think, \"Is it wrong for me to be more considerate of my daughter's safety? If you understand that your mother is still most concerned about you, you will not be irritated by her words and deny your correct behavior. moncler outlet online In this case, moncler outlet store when you decide to get off, if moncler outlet store you can give your mother a phone call ahead of time to communicate, so that your mother is assured that you can independently back to stand and walk back, you can avoid the occurrence of the latter things happen. From this incident, everyone with good intentions, but are from their own point of view to consider the problem, if you can communicate in advance before making a decision, all good intentions will not be misunderstood. moncler outlet store",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, hugs to you ~ from your description, \"Is it wrong for me to be a little considerate of others?\" Of course it is, and not only that, you deserve to be praised by your mom, not blamed. I can see that you are a very kind child, and you have a good character of respecting the elderly, and you started from the right place, and these are all very praiseworthy qualities. From your description, \"When I took the bus home at night, my mom asked a grandpa to give me a ride, and when she found out, she said, \"Take your time then!\" I noticed that you were taking the bus at night, and it is possible that the reason your mom blamed you was because she was worried about your safety. Mom entrusted a moncler outlet store to send you, has her own arrangements, is for your safety, this matter requires mutual understanding between the two of you, you need to understand your mom to you responsibility, mom also need to understand your kindness. Going out alone at night by bus is actually a more risky way to travel, I remember I once in a remote bus stop, night bus ride when I met, a strange man, in the distance, inexplicably called me, when I was alone, very scared, scared me to run away, went to a place where there are more people, to feel a sense of security. So I think your mom should be worried about your safety, I hope you have to understand your mom. The best way to resolve conflicts is to communicate, if you want to know what your mom really thinks, or you want your mom to know your character, you need to communicate more and understand each other.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ \u203b from the owner's description of the understanding that you take the bus home, mom let a grandfather to send you, you see he has been on the phone, there is something, so let him sent to the home is not far away, just less than ten minutes to the home of the place, and then mom knew it said you, but also let you walk slowly! You're wondering if this is your problem. In fact, on the issue itself, you and mom, send you home moncler outlet online are right, mom let moncler outlet online you to home, you understand moncler outlet online something early get off, moncler outlet online send you home but temporary something early put you off. If everyone understands each other, this is a cycle of goodwill. moncler outlet online For goodness sake, you get off early because of goodwill. mom let moncler outlet online you directly to your home because she was worried about you. if there is a problem there, the biggest problem is the mother's verbal cold violence. Maybe she didn't mean to blame you, but that attitude and expectation hurt you, as well as the unknowing moncler outlet store. You're not wrong, the problem is probably the difference in the way you and your mom express yourself and the way you understand the problem! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6518
       },
       {
        "question": "The leader said that the meeting why not be praised? I feel targeted. What's wrong with me?",
        "description": "Today the big leader inexplicably ran to the office and asked me why we were not praised at the meeting. Said two work was praised for doing a good job. I was confused, I thought it was because the meeting was criticized by name to question me, but .... Why weren't we praised? There are more than a hundred of them, only two were praised, why we were not praised I do not know ah, the task to be done on time to do. I have a feeling that I'm being targeted, am I being paranoid?",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Interpersonal Workplace",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, I hope the following answer can help you. The first thing you feel when you are asked by your leader \"why are you not being praised\" even though you have done all the work you need to do is that you must feel aggrieved. Hugs to you. Share my thoughts: 1, I think the leader is not against you, he is only against this matter. In this case, his focus is not on the completion of the task or not, but whether or not to be praised, indicating that the leadership attaches great importance to this meeting, but also have higher expectations of you. As a leader, the pursuit of that 2%, I think it is understandable, you think ah, it is his \"strive for excellence\", the company can continue to progress, which is also beneficial to the development of employees. 2, it is precisely because \"the task to do have done\", the leader will want to understand the ask \"Why not be praised\". I would like to think that the leadership is to believe that you should do are done, he wants to know is everyone has done the case, the gap in which. If you didn't do what you were supposed to do, the leader might just say, \"It's because this wasn't done that you weren't praised,\" without asking you. It's like, a dozen students in the class got perfect scores in language, but only two of them had their essays recognized as excellent models. Some essays on the right topic, but also write a standard, but there are also individual not only write a standard, but also features, perhaps a certain detail more vivid, perhaps the text has a golden sentence, perhaps the cited case is more relevant and so on. So, the other dozen or so students who were not recognized as excellent model essays will naturally want to know where the gap is between themselves and the \"excellent model essays\", so that they can be improved next time. Therefore, the essence of the leader's question, \"Why wasn't it praised?\" is that he wants you to pursue the \"next time\". This is the recognition of your original work and more expectations. These are my thoughts, and I hope you find them enlightening. Of course, the question did not mention the leadership's way of expression, so I can't rule out the possibility that the leadership's expression has caused you some misunderstanding. I just think, all things to the good, for our own good.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ very understand your feelings, hug you ~ inexplicably questioned by the leadership, indeed, it will make people feel very confused it. All more than a hundred companies, only two were praised, so look at it this way, the probability of being praised is indeed very small, the vast majority of companies have not been praised. It does show that not being praised doesn't mean you're not doing a good job, it just means that you're not doing the best you can. I don't think the leader is really targeting you. On the one hand, he may have very high expectations of you and he is very confident that you will be praised. On the other hand, he may not know the specifics of the meeting, so he may subconsciously think that not being praised means not doing a good job. Whether or not you were overly concerned, you didn't do anything wrong, so there's no need to beat yourself up and dwell on it too much. Even if we do get targeted, there's no need to get upset about it, because these things are out of our control. I believe that as long as we do the work we are supposed to do, our serious attitude will surely be found by our leaders as well. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5228
       },
       {
        "question": "Is a child who will even do a favor for a stranger considered a pleasing personality?",
        "description": "Is it considered a pleasing personality when a child sees an adult helping to hold the door as he or she exits the front door of the neighborhood?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello wow hugs to you* Is a child who will even do favors for strangers considered a pleasing personality? I don't think it can be judged in such a one-sided way. -First of all, what is a pleasing personality? (Often trying to take care of other people's emotions, paying too much attention to others at the expense of themselves, and not learning to say no even when they are uncomfortable. The most important characteristic of the people pleaser is that they hide their emotions and are so afraid of conflict that they suppress their own needs. Pleasing personalities also often apologize, pretend to agree with others, etc.). So one of the biggest bases for judging is how the child felt after she did the behavior. Was she uncomfortable? Did she do it voluntarily? Did she do the behavior purely out of pleasure? ...... So we can't tell if a child is a pleasing personality based on one behavior alone. If you find that your child has a tendency to be a people pleaser, it is recommended that you \u2460 set small goals for your child and accomplish them step by step. The reason for this is that behind the pleasing personality is a lack of self-confidence. So when a small goal is accomplished, the child's self-confidence will gradually increase. \u2461Cultivate your child to say \"no\" Tell your child that she can reasonably refuse to do something she doesn't want to do. If someone hates her because of this, it is that person's problem, not her own, and it will not affect her ability to be a popular person. \u2462 Let your child try some more equal interpersonal communication usually with your child also learn to try to communicate as equals, listen to her ideas, and do not pass on the idea that if she doesn't please you, you can abandon her at any time. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the meaning of a child's behavior needs to be determined in the context of the actual situation, such as how old the child is, and what the environment and circumstances were at the time of the behavior, etc. It is difficult to tell from your description whether he is helping adults just because of the \"pleasing personality\" as you put it. It's hard to tell from your description whether the child is helping an adult because of a \"pleasing personality\" as you put it, and if the child is younger, it's more likely that he's just mimicking the adult's behavior. If the child is in school, it is also possible that the teacher or other authority may have praised the behavior. When I read your description, my first thought was that the child is very understanding and good at taking care of others, so I'm curious as to why you would interpret this behavior as a \"pleasing personality\". Perhaps you are associating the child with something you've experienced yourself?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, ingratiation is supposed to be being nice to the other person even if they are not nice to you, creating a kind of interpersonal disinterest. Your child sees an adult helping to hold the door as he exits the neighborhood gate, that would be normal interpersonal caring, warm fuzzies - a rare thing as opposed to the interpersonal indifference that is seen more often than not. If we could all be like that, this society would be ideal. Kudos to your kid.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19206
       },
       {
        "question": "Not interested in life.",
        "description": "I have done many tests upwards and they all came back as moderate or severe depression, I have chronic headaches and back pain. Should I go see a doctor. Because I feel like I'm just emotionally negative (like I can't take an interest in anything and I'm self-scorned) and I'm still able to be extraordinarily rational and go through the motions of life, and I don't even have the impulse to do things that I used to have.",
        "keywords": "mature",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In the face of rapid changes in the world and interpersonal relationships events conflict, it is inevitable to produce doubts about the self, thus triggering a variety of emotions: negative / anxiety / depression emotions difficult to act, psychology has a variety of explanations: * depression through the initiation of self-punishment, lower themselves, for the actions to be given to pay the price of the effort. (Because of the relative responsibility of increased competence, the costs and challenges have increased, and the fear and anxiety of an uncertain future prevents the self from taking action) * Unwillingness to act is the result of the subject's ego wanting to take action without focusing on the process of taking action, and most likely failing to develop delayed gratification skills during childhood and adolescence, resulting in an inability to take action when you don't see the results. Positive Cognitive Reframing: the desired outcome is in future time and out of control, whereas action is in the present time and space, with action there may be an outcome, but without action, 100% there will be no outcome. * The generation of action has an important relationship to the self's role perception and not having the 3rd double pivot perspective in the subject-object relationship. When the subject self does not have the 3rd double pivot perspective of the normative consensus of the social group, it can only see the self itself and not even the object relationship, resulting in the inability to generate empathy (only seeing the world from the perspective of a single self, e.g., letting the depressed person look in the mirror, and not even being able to identify with the themselves in the mirror, because they have never properly observed and identified with themselves from other people's eyes, and it is difficult to see themselves from the world's point of view, so they are stuck in the lack of life beliefs).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22207
       },
       {
        "question": "What about a knot that wasn't created and doesn't accept being less than human?",
        "description": "I'm 26 now, and after all these years I thought I had gotten better, but actually still forgot that I hadn't gotten better at all. When I was 17 years old in my first year of high school, our homeroom teacher once put me in a seat with someone who had good grades, and in math class, the teacher asked a question, and I realized that they would and I wouldn't, and then suddenly I had a feeling that it was as if overnight I realized that my brain was full of places that were inferior to other people's, and that led me directly to depression, and after all these years, I thought that I had gotten over it. What I actually realized is that I'm still not better. I was still running away from the feeling of not being as good as others, it was a fear. Also, let me say that I was fifth and he was first. In fact, I was always in the top five or so, but I was biased, so just because of his irritation, it made me feel so bad about not being as good as others, that I was always on the defensive about not being as good as others, purely out of fear. After all these years, I'm still very afraid of feeling less than others, and I realize now that I was caught up in a feeling of being less than others, which turned out to be less than him. The comparison was still to him, not so many others. Ugh, almost didn't make me angry, what should I do, I can't possibly get him here anymore, than once, right, is my life going to be full of regrets until old age",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Counseling, Mental Disorders, Talking and Listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah, very willing to discuss with you your confusion overnight found themselves inferior to others read your expression, when seventeen years old you because of a math class impressed you, the reason is because you feel inferior to others. You said that almost ten years later, you are still running away from the feeling of not being as good as others, it is a sense of fear. You feel sorry for yourself and don't know how to make up for it. This feeling of fear is real and impresses you. The important thing is not the fact but the feeling that you are well aware and have realized that \"I am stuck in a feeling of inferiority\". This made you very depressed for a while. So you bravely came to ask for help. You feel that \"the feeling of being less than others is too hard\", so you have been in a state of defense against being less than others. I'm curious, you think I've gotten over it, but you're really just forgetting about it. So, has anything happened recently that made you relive the past? Did you have a similar feeling or encounter a similar situation? There is a saying that there is nothing new under the sun. Psychology says: It's not the facts that matter, it's how the facts feel. The past incident back then may have left you with low self-esteem, and over the years, you may have been good enough to feel that you have overcome this trauma. But because it didn't address the trauma and feelings that the incident brought you, it formed an emotional button, psychologically called a [complex]. As soon as something similar happens, this emotional button is triggered and activates this feeling that sticks with you. Seeing is Healing expression is healing well in that you have become acutely aware of this complex. Seeing is Healing begins, you don't need to get the person back, you just need to see that feeling of low self-esteem from that year and heal it to bring yourself back. ****** You can use the empty chair technique to set up an empty chair in a room, imagine that the person from that year is sitting in this chair and you are standing across from him, and express what you want to say to him from that year, mainly expressing your feelings. When the emotions are out, you may have a different experience. ****** I noticed in your reply that you expressed the idea of wanting to outdo him for once. This can be expressed by positively visualizing a scenario where you surpass the other person to heal yourself and release your feelings. ****** everyday situations, you can further increase your awareness. Recognize emotions through positive thinking meditation, etc. Understand where emotions come from and what kind of impact they have on the past and present. Seeing is the beginning of healing, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, good evening! Through the description, it can be seen that the last few years should have studied a lot of knowledge in psychology, which is really a sign of love of learning have the ability to learn, and of course is a thirst for growth. Then it is not far from reaching growth. [Dark Moment] The subject's grades are in the top five, and cannot help but be excellent. As a matter of common sense, the subject should be before this, should also be more confident in this point. The saying \"no one is perfect\" is true, and there is another meaning, people at different stages will have a moment of performance below their daily ability, that is, the proverbial \"stuck\" \"short circuit That's what they call \"stuck,\" \"short-circuited,\" and \"blindsided,\" which means they are momentarily confused. So almost everyone has these dark freeze frames, usually in their less dominant areas, and sometimes even in their dominant areas. Imagine if it happened on your dominant side, wouldn't it be worse. I don't know what the math problem was like at the time, there may have been some problems with knowledge acquisition, or I may have encountered a dark frame at the time, and if I could recall the situation, things would have been fine. But often we become frustrated not simply because of the error/forgetfulness of the dark moments themselves, but often the feelings that these dark moments bring us behind them. We give these uncomfortable feelings a strengthened and expanded definition, sublimating them to \"I'm not as good as everyone else\" rather than simply saying tongue-in-cheek that I've short-circuited. There's a close psychological term for this, \"bad enough,\" so search for it. Recognizing yourself is not an easy thing to do, I think. Of course, we do not go around the three questions here, \"Who am I...\", the subject is not already thinking about it. We also have an evaluation, or perception of ourselves, and often we have an incomplete understanding of ourselves, or our growth is to see ourselves profoundly, to dig ourselves out, and to fulfill ourselves. So in high school, we should still have some immaturity in our perception of ourselves. Again, at a stage where learning is paramount, it's easy to put a halo on good grades and knowing how to solve a problem, and likewise to see a problem's lack of understanding as a lack of ability. Later on, I felt that I had gotten better, and there should have been an introspection in the middle, a phase of growth, forgetting that uncomfortable feeling. This itself is also the process of growth, stages of perfecting yourself. \uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e\uff5e a little bit of advice, might as well try ah.1. Recall the details, each time to recall the harvest is different. Don't worry about the memory will hurt will hurt, the right medicine is the way. Just like the criminal police to solve the case, the clues often give us a lot of confusion, and even pass the upgrade.2. Virtual combat. May also want to use the game, simulation and that classmate's battle, write down, let yourself from the spirit to make up for the regret. What you really need is not to win, it may be a mental need to prove.3. Accept your imperfections. This is not chicken soup, this is a daily ingredient, there really is no perfect person, we can try to make ourselves better, but do not force yourself to be the best.4. Count your own merits. Know yourself, and more importantly, know your strengths. The thickness of life should have our merits to decide it. The sky is blue, you are there, life can be good! The world, and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to you, this feeling is pretty hopeless. This knot started in the first year of high school and lasted until now. I thought it had gotten better, but the feeling is still there. That environment in which the knot was formed at the time is not replicable, it's like an old photo of yourself wearing something you don't like, you can see it, you can feel it, but you can't change it. It's an upsetting presence for the good you, coming from the past, but it doesn't affect you. For many people who have the ability and continue to break through and stand on high pedestal after high pedestal of achievement, it's a historical presence that will be turned over and tortured when faced with a new challenge or self-completion: everything else is okay, why not this one. In fact, you realize that the person who sat in that seat at the age of 17 was not defeated. It's just that that scene of being less skilled than you were at the time stuck with you. It's also a feeling that comes to you because you are excellent. With excellence, there are more wins in all scenarios than others. There are fewer mistakes, so the frustration it creates when it happens is very prominent. Think about it, how many wins have you gotten in the years from age 17 to 26? That means how many scenarios are filled with the frustration that others have within them. Life is and has been long, and everyone is building their own story, and the wins are very good. There is frustration and it is a state of being. You have it, others have it, and chances are others have it more. Wanting to put old photos back in their frames instead of carrying them around, measuring cups to use to measure yourself, that's letting go and accepting your frustration. Did the shock of that year at that time cause you to study harder and be more motivated in the years that followed, and then achieve more victorious results and testimonials? If so, then that year then the feeling of frustration, is not the catalyst for more achievements after you? Throughout history, regardless of the kings and lords, the development of each person, are in constant iteration in the advance, every frustration, there will be an epiphany of the doubling of efforts, the process of history will have more wonderful characters. That knot in the heart, the frustration, is also the catalyst for achievement. It's not about who is perfect that is good, it's about riding the waves above life. Good luck ~ you're great, will be even better, and getting better~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think the questioner can change his focus and see the good side. There are definitely people who are better than us and there are definitely people who are not as good as us in the world. If you always use your own shortcomings than the strengths of others, anyone would feel very depressed, right? The example given by the questioner is just a problem in a math class when he was a student, so is it the only problem in math? What about other subjects? What about language, English, physics, chemistry? Not to mention all the other moral, intellectual, physical, social and aesthetic aspects, your hobbies, your personality, your other characteristics that make you who you are, not just this one question that someone else can do and you can't. The crowd is not affordable, even if the same job, but also some people get a high salary, some people get a low salary, but is it going to be an excuse for us to give up on life? In fact, we look at people better than us may have some imbalance, but after you tell yourself the words are very important, such as you can see their own advantages and strengths. What others do well in this area, that area is lacking. Just like scientists don't necessarily know how to draw, and people who are good at drawing may not be good at math, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, as long as you feel like contributing your value in a certain area that's enough. Even if the subject is better than this classmate, then is it better than everyone? There will always be people who are better than you, just as there are people who can't beat you either. So if you think about it, isn't it pointless to compare yourself blindly? How about thinking about their own advantages, good at what they do well, what things to do well, there are things in life to be thankful for their own, to lead their own thinking to the positive, so that they are happy place, perhaps you will not be on the past failures so much to meditate. Life is a dynamic process, you don't step into the same river twice, you can always change to live a more permeable and better life. That student has changed, and so have you, and the strengths and weaknesses of the past don't determine anything. Forgive others, forgive yourself, recognize your limitations, but that doesn't stop you from being a person of value, a value that doesn't shift by anyone else's standards.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, once the homeroom teacher seated you in a seat row with someone who had good grades, and once during a math class, the teacher asked a question, and you realized that they all knew what you didn't know, and you developed a feeling as if you found out overnight that you were not as good as the others in your head. But the truth is, you were fifth in your class and he was first, and although you weren't as good as him, you were better than a lot of people. Yet you are focused on what you are not as good as others. The subject has a strong ability for self-reflection as well as self-awareness, and this ability is actually one that can help you improve, allowing you to constantly become better and better than others. However, comparison is endless. Previously, your consciousness was focused on being better than others, but after that incident, you suddenly realized that you also have areas that are not as good as others, and this cognition had a big impact on you. From the description that follows, you can see that you \"fell into a feeling of being inferior to others, a feeling of being inferior to him,\" and this feeling made you feel very bad. Although you can't find him out and compare him once, you can explore why you are so obsessed with him alone. What would it mean to you if you beat him? If he's not as successful as you are now, and he's working as a clerk while you've become a department manager, does it make you feel any better to realize that? If not, maybe you should ask yourself, what does \"he\" really mean? What is it about the idea that you are not as good as him that keeps you stuck? Good luck Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3259
       },
       {
        "question": "When I come to a new organization, the old staff is being negative, should I go with the flow?",
        "description": "New to the unit, the work intensity is not very strong, the old staff are mingling, work is either playing games or brush the jitterbug, I should go with the flow, or to do something to learn something new.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Colleagues",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the owner of the question to see you raised this question, should be able to see, in fact, you have already thought about this question just did not come up with a satisfactory answer I see in this new unit, it seems that the work is very easy, you can choose your own, free time is quite a lot of time in fact, there is not what \"should\" Whether you choose to be like everyone else, or learn something new on your own, it's an option that you can do, and it's a reasonable one. It's just that, maybe, you need to think about what you want your life to be like, and what your goals are. If in this unit, can always be very comfortable to live a very comfortable life at the same time, life, and will not have a lot of pressure, then you can let yourself stay more comfortable and relax a bit and if you feel that you are still young, there are still a lot of new possibilities in the future, then this work environment, it is just to be able to give you the time to allow you to grow to learn new content ah no matter which choice, are all very reasonable, and the reason is to learn something new. Either choice is reasonable and justified depending on the subject matter.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, you must be a progressive young people about your question happens to be the same question I asked myself before, there is no axiom, my method is only for reference to ask your own heart, what is our purpose this question also includes: I hope that their own future is what it looks like, this career or industry is really their favorite, their career goals are what, if this unit happens to be part of their own career planning, this unit can help them realize their career plans, then why bother colleagues, their own efforts are good. If this unit happens to be part of their career planning, this unit can help them realize their career planning, then why bother colleagues, their own efforts are good, the purpose of our work is not to get along well with colleagues but to achieve their own career planning to achieve their own goals on the good ~ if it is a private enterprise, you can work hard to get industry experience and then jump ship to a better enterprise if it is a kind of civil service, your efforts will not be buried forever! I've always believed that, with the talent with the same pregnancy, time long to see, and constantly work hard to work ability will certainly continue to strengthen, one day you silently promoted to the position you want to find their own direction, the same free different value if the work itself is not busy with a lot of time, is really a valuable opportunity in the free time you can dig their own points of interest, if other people brush the jitterbugs, you are also Brush Jitterbug, but you are learning to bake, design, photography, writing, etc., others read books you also read books, but you read the depth of connotation of the book, then the same time your value will be different to open the public number, write articles, photography, financial management may not be you will be noiselessly turned into a talented slash young people to give everyone a surprise it ~ Finally, life is their own, go forward it ~ cheer!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there ~ I understand your feelings very well, hugs to you ~ coming to a new organization is of course more recommended to do something, learn something new, first of all, you should still do your own work content on the task. You don't have to think too much about what others are doing, but rather build a growth mindset and focus more on your own growth. So I suggest that your first step is to figure out what you can learn in such a position and what kind of skills do you need to acquire? Learn all of that first. Then look at what kind of development prospects and development direction you have in your current position. Consider what will happen to you next. For example, above the salary, above the position ...... If you feel that you really can't learn anything in such a position, or there is not much value. Then you can also go to consider whether to change a job to do. We should hold an attitude of lifelong learning, constantly learning, constantly making ourselves more perfect. Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5068
       },
       {
        "question": "Hate the fact that dad is irresponsible, cowardly, and never willing to give anything?",
        "description": "Dad grew up semi-abandoned by his own mom, and his own sister contracted everything. With four children at home, he probably thought it was his duty not to let them starve to death. All of the family's tuition fees are supported by the aunt or earned by mom's part-time job. The mother did all the work in the family, and she worked very hard, so she was very short-tempered. Dad's character is cowardly, and his temper is actually not good, even when I was a child, he didn't dare to call the teacher for me to ask for a vacation. There was no sense of responsibility for the family, no protection whatsoever. I've always held a grudge against my father, and I can't talk to him more than a couple times a year. Now I'm trying to reconcile with him myself, so I'm looking for reasons to contact him. This year, there have been one or two times to ask my father to send something to me, and recently I also sent stationery twice to my niece who has no parents (temporarily living with my father, need my father to collect the courier), but today I received a message from my mom saying that I should not bother my father and not send anything home, my father feels very troublesome to get the courier and send things, and then he got angry again. I feel particularly angry and depressed, since childhood, my father has never been willing to pay for anything, actually for this small matter angry. I hate my father and would rather be an orphan.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a big hug! Hello subject, I know from your description that you are now confused about things: - father's family of origin makes him weak and no sense of responsibility - no chance to reconcile with his father - hate his own father on your confusion, some of my thoughts [break free from the family, to become a different version of yourself] from your description, father has not played a good role as a father in your life and studies, and his family of origin has made him what he is now. Do you think your father can still change some of his own habits now? Habits that haven't changed for decades won't change completely just because we're upset. Fathers and families can't change, but we can change ourselves. From your thinking, you are very annoyed with this practice, and what we have to do is not to be influenced by bad habits, and try to improve ourselves without retracing our father's path. [Efforts to ease understanding] In the face of your inability to understand things, try to understand each other why I do it, and learn to be tolerant, so that we can avoid getting caught up in the whirlpool of emotions. Father because of the original family into this, he actually do not want to become this, but the environment has created the current him, try to understand him, behind everything is actually the inner performance. I wish you all the best! The above is a personal opinion, if you need to please chat privately oh, need to be more professional, please look for a more professional counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "[He is not a perfect dad and you are not a perfect child] I see that you want to change your dad very much, but unfortunately things are not what they should be, making you very angry and disappointed. [First of all] you despised your dad you complained about dad's original character, traits in the first half. In the second half you say that you are reconciling with your dad, but in fact you have been trying to change him, to change into the dad you want. [Second] The purpose behind changing the other person However, the change failed and you were desperate. What did failing to change your dad cost you? No more security, no more dependence? [Third] Parents are a wellspring of love and strength, understand your need The truth is, parents are a wellspring of love and strength, and not having the most basic support and dependence leaves us all feeling a lack of security and support. There is nothing wrong with you having this need. Losing that really makes you feel like an orphan. [Fourth] There's also a reason for the lack of fatherly love It has to do with your grandparents, the lack of love for your dad, and he grows up to be a psychologically deficient person. Afraid of things, afraid of change, and incapable. After that, he had you and raised you with a deficient heart. This causes you to exist in a state of deficiency as well. It's not your fault or your father's fault alone, maybe already many generations ago, there was this deficiency. As a result, one generation has influenced the other. [Fifth] Compensate for your own mental deficiencies When you feel insecure and long to be protected, meditate on a guardian angel who is guarding and taking care of your needs. Tell her what your heart is asking for. [6th] Respect your dad's limitations Because he's your dad, you can not love him because not everything parents do is right. But you have to respect him and recognize him. Respect his limitations and recognize him as your father. Allow your dad to be who he was, and yes, that's who he is. [7th] Respect your own needs while also allowing yourself the need to feel safe, try to support yourself, love yourself, give strength to yourself. If you don't have enough power for yourself, try to use the great power of the Divine. You are not a perfect daughter and he is not a perfect father. You did your best and he did his best. Bless you and have a happy and satisfying life, Namaste!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Does the subject hate the fact that his dad is irresponsible, cowardly, and never willing to give anything? I don't know why your dad is like this, but this sentiment from the subject is a sign of disappointment. The subject said that today I received a text message from my mom saying not to bother my dad nor to send anything home, my dad feels very troublesome about picking up the courier, sending things and all these things, and then got angry again. I feel particularly angry and depressed, since childhood, my father has never been willing to pay for anything, actually for this small matter angry. I hate my father and would rather be an orphan. The subject has the intention to ease the father-daughter relationship, hoping that his father can help himself to take delivery, mail delivery, improve language exchange, break the balance of the language. But did not expect your father actually for will be this and feel angry, the subject remembered his father's behavior is particularly aggrieved, disappointed, want to get dad's hobby difficult ah! If the subject is not busy with disappointment, think about why the father will feel angry, then the subject has the potential to really do and father to ease the relationship, the reason why your father feels angry, a large part of the possibility is that you let your father do what he has never done before, receive express delivery is better, tell him some information can be obtained express delivery. Sending a delivery can be tricky, and it may require you to teach your father how to do it so that he can send the delivery with ease. Another possibility is that the delivery you send or the delivery you get has nothing to do with your father's own interests. That is to say that what you send out or what you buy are your own needs, without your father's. Everyone wants the surprise to be his own, yet you gave it to yourself, not to your father. What has nothing to do with him, he naturally has no interest in wanting to know and act on. So, disappointment is also the emotion that guides direction. Disappointment with people and things reminds us to let go of control and expectations. What others can't give us, we can only give ourselves. Of course you have good aspirations in your heart, you can still create some surprises for your father, and remember to buy one for him the next time you buy something.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In fact, I do not know what to say. Before I buy some things online to send back home, they received their own delivery will not give me said have received, but also do not have to say that things are intact, to send them back to the time is also very annoying, they mean to work also do not have time to go to get the courier, in fact, I was very hot, I really do not know what to say, I said that the children of other families outside the work to buy a thing back to the heart will be very happy, but our I'm not sure what to say. Inside is still quite sad, my understanding of them is cowardly, afraid, timid. It's hard to change their mindset. The last time I bought a cell phone for one of them, they would never call me or send me a text message, which I thought was ridiculous. If you want to change your mind, I think you need to communicate more, but of course you need to be more patient. Maybe time will let you change it, a lifetime of such a character has been fixed, want to change in fact, it is difficult to give him some time, but also give you a little time. And sometimes he may be surrounded by such a character simply can not see the present self, appropriate time may need you to point out.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend from your account, your resentment towards your father comes from his irresponsibility or his inability to love you as much as you expect him to. As someone who came from a single parent as a child and also never enjoyed a satisfying father's love, I would like to give you a hug before advising you to let it go. Your father is first of all a person, he can have their own shortcomings and deficiencies, and then because you have, father such an identity, perhaps he as a father to you is \"dereliction of duty\", but I think that this does not constitute you no longer care about him, and even hope that there is no father better, such a mentality of the reason for the first contradiction is not your problem, he did not understand you, he did not understand the father's love. First of all, this conflict is not your problem, he did not understand your heart, but you can choose to forgive and accept this kind of him reasonably, instead of being subject to his reaction and emotions, also began to deliberately cold shoulder him, which will turn themselves into their own hate the way. Secondly there may be a generation gap in your communication and ideas and he has other ways of loving you. Again, all of your complaining is based on the assumption that just because he's a dad that's how he should be, and there is no such dad code in the world that requires every dad to be perfect. Finally, it may be that all your sadness stems from the fact that, deep down, you love him and long for more love from him. You wouldn't feel so hurt and aggravated if it weren't for this kind of custody and care, would you? If your father couldn't give you enough mature love, it doesn't stop you from growing into an adult, learning to better care for and take responsibility for your loved ones as you continue to mature.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Admit that your father doesn't love you as much as you think he does.\" We are brought up to believe that parents love their children the most. With this premise, we are left with the question, \"Why are other children so happy? Why do they have so much love from their parents? Why is my father so weak? Why are my parents so irresponsible?\" and so on. and other similar questions. After so many years of thinking about this, I have come to recognize the fact that not all parents love their children unreservedly, and that there are differences in the love that parents show to each child. These years, the word \"family of origin\" is very hot, as if all the misfortunes are brought from the family of origin. But every family has a difficult experience, what family can be considered standard and happy? Families are also made up of individuals. There are thousands of individuals and thousands of families. Don't think it's your misfortune to meet such a father, and don't try to change him (if he doesn't want to change himself, our efforts will only be in vain), and certainly don't become him. \"All we can do is to recognize these realities and love ourselves.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dad's lack of responsibility may be rooted in his upbringing, if his parents were not responsible for him perhaps he would have acquired that attitude towards the world, so linking to the intergenerational transmission of trauma, your father may have been lacking in nourishment internally, your dad grew up in a state of semi-abandonment by his own mother contracted everything by his own sister, a state that may have been some sort of challenge for him. And your mother met your father conceived you, and subsequently in the parent-child relationship may present some kind of detachment, this state may also generalize to other places, I do not know how the relationship between your parents, this may be on the other hand your father \u2460 cowardice \u2461 unwillingness to pay \u2462 no sense of responsibility, I guess the reason.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings very well, I don't know what your dad has been through since he was a child, why your dad's approach is so irresponsible, lack of patience, and more timid and cowardly. Because we want to reconcile with our dad, we always want to take the initiative to give, and hope that your dad can also receive or give, in fact, your dad at such an age want to change is really difficult. And your mother and your aunt and their repeated tolerance of compromise is also a kind of pampering to him, change is even more difficult.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18920
       },
       {
        "question": "How to get out of depression fast if you just started college, don't fit in, and are a serious homebody?",
        "description": "Girl 18 years old just went to college do not adapt to the environment caused by serious homesickness without notice will cry want to go back to the familiar city feel nothing want to eat do not want to clean up their own no one can bring me happiness do nothing mood can not save my own dormitory is seven senior only I a freshman As for my classmates they are dormitory as a unit of the class I also talk to them after classes to find their respective roommates only to reflect with the teacher to change the hostel The teacher said to be patient and will be transferred later I now belong to a period of time every day will be very difficult to cry but if I transfer the dormitory is not with our class transfer together may not be a faculty but are freshmen in September when the report cried for several days and then the military training the military training late there is nothing too sad feeling after the military training on the National Day Holiday three days of the closing of the holiday when I walked from the home feel particularly difficult to cry! It's been a long time and I feel like I've just reported again.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Therapy Methods, Counseling, Talking and Listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello my friend. I understand your emotions and your situation, especially when your roommate is not in the same grade as you, and you feel lonely. Loneliness is a very strange word, it appears inexplicably and disappears inexplicably. Let me put it to you this way. Before I went to college, I was always afraid that there were too many internet opinions, they said that roommate relationships were difficult to handle, and that the roommates I met were very competitive, and I was afraid that I would meet these people, so I always had a hard time accepting the fact that I had already graduated. But the truth is, my roommates are all really sweet little girls. What I'm trying to tell you is that your fear is a fear of the unknown, you instinctively guess and speculate the worst possible outcome in the worst possible light, and when it actually comes to the real thing, your heart instinctively cowers. But the truth is, dear friend, is the outcome ever that bad? You say that you will meet said classmates in the classroom, and I guess, you should be happy at that time, the loneliness is gone, there is just the joy of the moment. See, isn't that not too bad. You said that after class everyone would find their own roommates and the loneliness came. I don't know if you've heard the saying. \"By the time you get to college you'll know that your roommate and you aren't all the way together, we're all just living in the same house.\" Dear friend, you can make friends not limited to the dorm room, as long as you are good enough, there will be people to make friends with you. Perhaps when you get to college, you will find that there are always people who like to eat alone, read alone, and participate in activities alone, is it because there is no one to make friends with them, no, they just learn to enjoy the loneliness. Learning to live with loneliness, dear girl, is something you should learn. I'm sure I can tell you that everyone has them, except for especially independent children, and everyone who is stepping into an unfamiliar environment is afraid of them. Don't feel bad, you're not alone. How do we learn to live with ourselves and how do we go about overcoming homesickness? \ufe0f What do you like ah? Bands? Books? Or movies and TV shows? Whatever you like, go after it, if you like bands, play in bands, if you like books, please read a book seriously and write a book review about it, if you like TV shows, write a movie review, and when you're good enough, you won't be afraid of a lonely life. College doesn't mean you lose yourself. \ufe0f Join your favorite clubs, you'll meet people with the same preferences, isn't it better to be with people with the same interests as you compared to obsessing over friends? \ufe0f Don't be afraid of the long road, be brave and be yourself. Call your parents once a month, connect to a video, talk to them, it's okay to cry, after all, you're still young, but after that, you have to walk forward with your head held high. Dear girl, I wish you peace and a bright future.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "# Only with the teacher to reflect the problem of changing the dormitory teacher said patiently waiting for the later will be adjusted # Because of the problem of changing the dormitory, causing you to cause serious home-loving, inadvertently will cry, want to go back to the familiar city, feel nothing want to eat, don't want to clean up their own, no one can bring me happiness, do what all in no mood. I understand your feelings, the objective environment can not be changed because you are in charge of change; can not change the world, then change yourself, make look bad, so that may be able to attract the attention of the school teacher, may speed up the speed of changing dormitory. I am so understand can? Of course the above way this is an also-ran option! The cost is that you have to make yourself look not so good and a raw mess. Of course you can also choose to accept this status quo and change your perspective, state to observe what you can get out of your current situation in the moment. #For example, the dormitory is seven seniors only I am a freshman #Change of perspective, it is equal to you live with seven graduates, they have this school four years to four years to stay in the experience, and there are still seven of them. You can learn from them about how to study at this school, access resources, and careers in your major. You can also ask them about the school, and it can be about everything; what's good there? What's fun? What are the best clubs to join? As long as you play well with your sister, you may get the other students do not have the information, which will give you a great advantage, in favor of your friendships, do a variety of favorable to their own choices; that is, the job market is often referred to as the information gap. Of course, this choice also has a price, you need to take the initiative to seek teaching sister, but there is a risk of being rejected by the sister; the mood will certainly be very bad, but also appear to cause serious home-loving, inadvertently cry, want to go back to the familiar city, feel nothing want to eat, don't want to clean up their own, no one can bring me happiness, do what have no mood. Of course, there are other options, you can continue to apply for a dormitory change, and maintain the current bad mood until the dormitory change is successful. There are also other options, you can continue to seek help here when you have other problems.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello ~ I hope my words can bring you warmth and help ~ \ufe0f stepped into the college campus, means that we lost the familiar past, away from the care of friends and family. At this time, \"home-loving mentality\", which is a very typical state of adaptation difficulties, becomes more common. How to be truly independent when you leave your parents for the first time? How to deal with the relationship in the dormitory? Just entered the university campus should be how to adjust the home-loving mentality? 1, adjusting the mindset to adapt to the environment into the unfamiliar campus, and has a different learning state, these differences require us to adjust the mindset in time. Since the choice of the university, should be optimistic to accept new things, new environments, new classmates, new friends, just into the university when everything around is new, curious at the same time there is inevitably some of the face of unfamiliarity of the frustration, but we have to use optimism to overcome the loss, and then will find the beauty of the new environment. 2, a new look at the separation of the time when you feel anxious, homesickness, and want to cry, to accept themselves first. But not be able to be swayed by weakness, take this opportunity to exercise your ability to live independently, plan your life and complete the transition from child to adult. Homesickness can be fixed time to call home, hear the voice of parents, you will know that the family is just not by your side, but never left you. 3, reorganize the coordinates of life, have a goal by examining their own future path of life, think about their own \"want to become a what kind of person,\" \"what is the most important thing to me in life? What is most important to me in life\" and other issues, you can set a big goal, and then subdivided into a number of small goals, each completed a small goal, from your final goal is also a step closer. To be familiar with the university to test a variety of documents: four or six certificates, Mandarin certificates, two computers, teacher qualification, tour guide certificate, accounting certificate, etc. 4, re-constructing the study habits of the university of learning and secondary school learning is very different, for the habit of being arranged by the teacher and good at rote memorization of the students, may suddenly feel \"out of control\". Therefore, to rationalize the curriculum and time, tap personal potential, and find their own learning methods. 5, more activities, expand the social circle of the university is also considered a small society, participate in sports and cultural activities, participate in a variety of clubs, and more with the teacher, classmates. At the same time, the selection of the College and University Student Union is also a good opportunity to help us and teachers, students to make good relations, expanding contacts, and in the professional position to develop our sense of responsibility and sense of mission. In this way, we can build deeper friendships and expand our social circle. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ~ once I have no experience of leaving home, in the face of unfamiliar environments, surrounded by freshmen who are not undergoing the same military training as myself, will make their sense of loneliness once again intensified. The reason why you are homesick is because you want to find your own familiar environment, and it's okay to be homesick. If you are homesick, talk to your family more often, and you will need some time to adapt to the current life. For their own sense of loneliness, try to find their own \"group\" or \"collective\", 1, you can participate in some collective, for example, clubs, can also be some of the hometown associations. You can find a \"sense of belonging\" in these places, there will be common topics, common experience, into which, slowly find a sense of familiarity. 2, to participate in some of their favorite activities, for example, activities organized by associations, colleges and universities to organize activities, writing scripts, singer contests, and so on. Re-find what you care about or direction, 3, you can try to talk about love. Experience the feeling of being dependent on others. This kind of home-loving feeling try to convert a little bit, put their own feelings to other people's body. 4, academic. Shift your own attention itself. Ultimately, these practices are meant to alleviate the feelings of \"strangeness\" and \"alienation\" that come with being in a new environment. The source of these feelings is the fact that you have been cared for and loved by those around you for a long time. Not used to such a big change. And this is a step towards growth. A little bit goes a long way, and there's nothing wrong with being homesick. At least it shows that one's original family atmosphere was very, very good, and something that one aspires to and can rely on. Just for the moment, you have to learn to adapt and be independent a little bit. Cheer up~~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Girl, just went to college, left the familiar hometown and relatives, came to an unfamiliar place, and a few strangers live together, feel lonely, miss their families, this is the reaction of many college freshmen, especially girls, the reaction is stronger. This is a normal phenomenon, every college freshman will go through such a process of adaptation, just due to individual differences, the speed of adaptation is a little different. Generally speaking, after one to two months, when familiar with the new environment, make new friends, establish a new social circle, homework gradually more and more, to the university studies and life established goals, and seriously into it, this sense of loneliness will slowly reduce. It's been a month since you started school, right? From your brief description, you hope to get rid of your sadness as soon as possible. You are dissatisfied with your current roommates who are not in the same class, and your request to change your dormitory room cannot be met, which makes you feel helpless, right? Do you find it difficult to build friendship with them? It is also possible that you are afraid that after establishing friendship with them, you will have to face separation again soon, which will make you fall into loneliness and sadness again, so you don't know how to get along with them, right? If that's the case, I hope you look at it from a different perspective, and you may feel differently. Senior sister of the school has more understanding of the school, and they live together can be more quickly understand the school, the experience of the sister is richer, you can learn from them more ways to do things ...... school is so big, there are a lot of things to deal with, change the dormitory room is not out of the question, but it will take a while! ...... girl, is it the first time you leave your parents for a long time? If so, it may take a little longer to wean. If not, recall how you overcame your homesickness in the past to help your present self get into your new life in college as quickly as possible. According to the school's arrangements, combined with their own needs, on academics, hobbies outside the study, clubs and activities ...... set a goal, make a plan, every day action, so that their lives are full, there is a possibility that you can not stop thinking about it! If after a period of adjustment to adapt, you still feel sad, or so homesick, then it is recommended that you find a counselor to do a period of time of counseling, may help you to adapt to college life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing your discomfort. Especially after feedback with your counselor, it can seem really kind of irritating that you haven't gotten prompt improvement. The fact is that almost every freshman facing the huge transition from high school to college needs to go through a process from not adapting to adapting. The process of adapting is actually the process of growing one's mind. In terms of interpersonal communication, you have to face friends from all over the world, or cross-grade friends, we have different ideas, concepts of life and so on. Freshmen's psychological adaptation, in a sense, sets a tone for the entire four years of college life, and has an important significance and impact on the future development. Self-adaptation you can start from the following three aspects. 1, do self-contained me: do not give yourself out of reality, unattainable high requirements, so that you always fall into self-blame, self-hatred of the situation. 2, do unique me: do not intentionally imitate others so as to lose themselves, accept and care for their own physiological and psychological conditions, and unconditional acceptance of all of their own. 3, to do the best I. Correct understanding of self, based on reality, to find a way of life, to find a way of life, to find a way of life, to find a way of life, to find a way of life, and to find a way of life: Correctly understand the self, based on reality, to find the most appropriate position of the self in the real society, to fully realize their own value of life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "College life, is a lot of young people towards the beginning of independence independence, will inevitably bring some challenges and changes so, first of all, do not worry about this kind of home-loving emotions, it is normal, but also an adult will slowly overcome since to overcome, we should think of some ways to gradually change, for example: very homesick, so is it possible to play phone calls with family members every day, video chat world? If your roommates are all seniors, can you spend more time with your classmates in the same grade and go to the same house more often? If you can't play with your roommates, can you find one or two older sisters who are willing to communicate with you to establish a private chat? If you really can't fit into the dormitory, can you look for a boyfriend? Or focus on your studies and do well in extracurricular activities? Growing up, in fact, is to slowly understand what they need, and then in a variety of situations, find ways to satisfy themselves, while not affecting others and the environment do not give themselves too much pressure, in fact, not so difficult to believe that you can, cheer.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In cases like this that I have received before, it is the result of growing up with an unfulfilled desire to be a child, an unfulfilled attachment to the symbiotic relationship with the parents, and a subconscious desire not to grow up resulting in resistance to unfamiliar environments. Explore the happy environment of your family as a child, or if there was an interruption of parenthood by being sent to your grandfather's or grandmother's home, or if there are any psychological traumas that need to be deeply healed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7028
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if I hate my father so much that I can't stop myself from immersing myself in it every day?",
        "description": "I'm 24 years old and had a very bad upbringing. My parents fought all my life, my scummy father repeatedly abused my mom and would even hold knives against her, while my sister and I were hit by mistake for dragging a fight, bleeding from falling bowls, waking up in the early hours of the morning, and other similar situations often occurred, and there was one time in my childhood when my mom was beaten plus she fainted out of breath, her whole body was stiff and twitching, and I was so scared I thought my mom had just died of grief while my dad was just sitting outside the door, sulking. I grew up so honest that I was bullied and abused in public by middle-aged men who had been in jail. My dad was a psychologically twisted man who outsiders said was nice, but in reality he was a loser, selfish, short-tempered, chauvinistic, extremely nasty cussing, incompetent, a wimp, etc. He drove me into a major depression, will because of very small things to make me say very bad very bad, compare me with other people of the same age for the degradation of worthless, early death, waste, useless, no one will want to marry and so on vicious curses me, cursed my mother all her life extinct people's daughters and crazy. In short the list goes on and on, so much has happened and it has affected me terribly. Now they want to divorce, scum father also does not care that I did not fall in love and get married, to almost rely on mom to earn the house sold to split half of the property, children and wives do not love. Cause I can't help but hate it every day, how do I let it go",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Family Relationships, Growing Up",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject very distressed you, first give you a big hug ~ 1, from a young age in the family from the father a lot of harm, all the way to grow up, can feel your father's resentment, disappointment, and now the parents have been ready to divorce, for the division of family property you feel for the mother is very unfair, the house is the mother's efforts to pay for it, you think that the father did not do his mother and daughter as a family member should be responsible for. 2, very understandable anger in your heart has been left in the soul of the scar has not healed, should not also split half of the property. You believe that the father has not done his duty as a family member, should not also be divided into half of the property. 2, very understandable anger in your heart, as a child has been left in the soul of the scars have not healed, the father hurt your scene is still vivid in your mind. Father treat you in a very wrong way, but the divorce property division or in accordance with the relevant provisions of the law to carry out, if the property is still the last to give the father half of the property, your heart is very helpless, feel that the father had owed you mother and child are not back to you, you do not know how to face the pain of the past, you may feel that \"the evil man has never been his due retribution! You may feel that \"the evil person has not received his due retribution\", which makes you feel unbalanced. Then let's talk about how to face the \"hurt\" 1, accept the past is not wrong to be hurt, not the ability to protect themselves and the people around you is not your fault, the fault is to hurt you, those who let you in the past is very embarrassing, but you're not at fault, do not have to complain about the past their own strength is not enough to fight, even if you have been hurt, you are still the one who loves his family, Responsible, worthy of being loved. 2, healing yourself once you are also part of your life, the future you can still heal yourself, make friends who care about you, meet a partner who loves you, master more knowledge and social resources to protect yourself ...... All of these will be your armor, slowly healing your wounds over time. Maybe at some point in the future you'll still be scared when you think about the past, but look at the people around you, look at yourself, and you can find true security. Give the person who hurt you the responsibility you deserve, you can defend your rights through legal channels, if there is no way to fight for your interests, then choose to let go of it, embrace yourself, embrace the people who love you now, you will support each other and start your new life. I hope this helps, good luck! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14678
       },
       {
        "question": "Adults are always controlled by their parents. Don't you get tired of being controlled too much?",
        "description": "Really hate their parents are always too much, from childhood to adulthood are, what to eat what to wear what clothes have to manage, including marriage to find a partner to listen to them to find what kind of what to find a backward door or two sons, they do not want to parents with you to quarrel tossing, and then got married to the parents also have to manage our lives, what to do also have to manage, of course, the parents are also quite take care of our lives, and then even I! Divorce my parents still do not feel at ease also want to go with me, the divorce is my father has been saying, I do not have the opportunity to express their views, I gave birth to a child my parents even more control, the child can not be this can not be that, I really do not have the economic basis but I also have their own ideas are not a machine, and will always be on my words is that you listen to our words, we say are right, but they made a mistake, you say that they are also They don't admit it and make all kinds of excuses, sometimes I really want to run away from this family, if it were you, wouldn't you be annoyed?",
        "keywords": "Family, Parent Communication, Child Communication, Family Control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello, hug you ah ~ read your description, as an adult, you still feel everywhere by parents control, this is indeed a very discouraging thing ah, in my place, I would also be very difficult. According to your description, your parents have been in charge of everything since you were a child. Perhaps your parents did not change their mindset according to your stage of growth. The normal practice is that parents should learn to let go of their children as they slowly become independent. The above is to think from the parents' point of view, if you want to obtain real independence, the most basic is economic independence, the most important is the mindset of independence, both aspects are very important, perhaps you can think about whether to do. If we have not achieved the most basic financial independence, most parents are generally not comfortable letting go, scientific research shows that the highest value of happiness of most parents is reflected in the time when their children can live independently. So it is recommended that you communicate more with your parents so that they understand your desire and determination to be independent.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 554
       },
       {
        "question": "Been sick for too long, not getting better with constant treatment, and in pain every day?",
        "description": "I've been sick for so long and I'm not getting better and worse and I'm in pain all over my body and I can't find a reason to live.",
        "keywords": "Mood, Depression, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject give you a big hug ~ because of the torture of disease, you bear a huge physical pain, long-term treatment also affects your normal life and social life, at the same time to give you a lot of psychological pressure, very heartbreaking to you. 1, physical pain is indeed very difficult to make people, but the treatment of each disease and the process is not the same, and some diseases do need to be a relatively long period of time, treatment, treatment, more or less will suffer some physical discomfort in the process, but in this process we are not alone. 2, family has been taking care of us, friends and partners also give us support, medical personnel also help us. The process of more or less will endure some physical discomfort, but in this process, we are not alone, family has been taking care of us, friends and partners also give us support, medical personnel also fully help us. 2, the pain of the disease in this period of time seems to occupy a larger part of life, but in addition to the pain of the disease, in fact, there are a lot of care and love for you you may not have Discover the beauty around you, there are people who care about you, take care of you, and your strong heart. Cheer up (\u0e07-_-)\u0e07, I hope you get well soon ~ the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2924
       },
       {
        "question": "It's hard for me to force myself to be nice to my husband and he doesn't accept it, what should I do?",
        "description": "The company's afternoon tea fruit, I ate a few petals of grapefruit meat, think it's quite good, the rest of no one to eat, no one wants it, I thought my husband likes to eat, so I took one and brought it home from work. When my husband finished eating, I told him that I had brought him a pomelo, which was delicious, and asked him to eat it. He said yes, but didn't eat it. It was late and I saw that the flesh of the grapefruit was still there and he hadn't eaten it, so I got very angry and said that I had worked hard to bring it back to you, and if you didn't eat it, I would never bring you good food again. I know it's my problem that I'm angry, my husband doesn't have the responsibility or obligation to necessarily accept my goodness. I just can't figure out why I have to do these things compulsively, wishfully bringing him food, forcing him to eat it, and if he doesn't eat it I have to threaten him that I won't bring it to him again, what's wrong with me.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Concepts, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! @ I guess most people feel bad about not having their good intentions recognized or rejected and shunned, even if they don't lash out! The fact that you are able to realize that this is your mistake proves that you are not a unreasonable person. The question is how you change your perception. I can sense that you don't want to put the cart before the horse every time your good intentions or occasional thoughtfulness are met with an argument! @ Here I recommend a book to you, The Courage to be Hated. At first you may think the statements in the book are ridiculous or incomprehensible, but as you keep reading you may come to agree with them. The book says that the world is so simple, if only we change some of our perceptions. The book talks about the issue of life issues, that is, the issue of separating oneself from others, drawing boundaries but not separating them. Doing so allows one to become free and less prone to emotions or distress over others. \u25cbAll of one's altruistic behaviors are actually for the benefit of oneself. We reap the benefits of fulfillment, happiness, and belonging when we feel that we are in a place in society that brings value to others. Imagine when you think, \"Hubby likes it, no one wants the rest, bring it back.\" When you make this move, your heart is not an anticipation, the mental expectation of the other person to receive a happy smile, praise you, and the pleasure of tasting; at the same time you also avoid wasting food ...... If you do not expect these, then the other person did not respond or accept the reason why you will be angry? Why can't you be consistent if your original intention was to love and care for the other person? You could very well look at it from the subject's point of view. You are acting altruistically which is your own choice, a move you are making for some need of your own, (even if it is to take care of your family) which is a desire of yours; and your husband's response to that is his own subject matter, which is about how he feels about it, as well as about a lot of factors you are not sure about. <<When we separate the issues we don't agonize over them, you just take charge of your own and you've accomplished what you need to. It is only when you are not attached to the feedback of others that you can be truly free. @You may feel that you are angry because you feel that having your good intentions rejected hurts your self-esteem. I think perhaps the subject is a person who is not confident and you need to affirm yourself through the approval of others. When you come across results that don't fulfill expectations, you may start to get anxious and angry, especially with people close to you. Because of the panic of insecurity you will spontaneously attack. \u25cbBut subject you seem to have neglected to ask the other person why, maybe they are too full, maybe they just don't have an appetite, maybe they are having a bad day, or maybe they don't like to eat food that has been left out ...... even if they are really demeaning and ungrateful. You have done what you wanted to do. The creation of a sense of value of the self for the outside world does not depend on the feedback of others but comes from the understanding that what you have done brings benefit to the self.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello building owner. In fact, you feel this is very normal, their good intentions are not accepted by the closest people, the other party does not value, it is inevitable that there will be some fire, there is a negative expression, zhe'h'hen'z'n. However, obviously good intentions, but let both people are in the emotional quagmire, and you have detected their own emotions, for you to praise. [Good intentions are not accepted how to express - low-level problem low-level solution] the first time your emotions are still stable, but the husband did not do that, you are angry, let's analyze your expression (not in the criticism of you Oh, just analyze it ah) I worked hard to bring you back - -Emphasize their own hard - amplify the problem - the other party serious dereliction of duty you do not eat, I will never bring you good food again - threats -Hope to get the other party's attention and guilt However, if you experience this kind of thing again, please remember, which level of the problem should be put on which level to solve. No one wants the rest of the company's grapefruit - a favor - since it's a favor, why magnify your hard work just didn't eat the grapefruit - he doesn't eat it you eat it -And what is there to be angry about it do not put the problem metaphysically, do not think that their hard work husband can not see, do not appreciate, obviously promised but did not eat it is a betrayal of the masculine, think that the husband does not love you you, and so on. [over-reflection] I know I'm angry is my problem, the husband does not have the responsibility and obligation must go to accept my good. Husband and wife are one, since one, both parties have the responsibility to maintain and operate, which is reflected in: put yourself in the position of the other person, understand each other, care for each other, have the obligation to remind and monitor each other's mistakes. You are too \"rational\", that your husband does not have the responsibility and obligation to accept your good, in fact, we will have misunderstandings in the expression of love, but this does not mean that our love is wrong. Don't blame yourself too much and then lose confidence in your marriage. Better expression - both sides of the grind] excessive anger on their own is not good, oh, encountered such things, if you get angry, the other side and then ignited by your anger, both sides are angry can not be good. Therefore, in the control of emotions above, need to work together above your husband and wife. One party is angry, the other party can according to the severity of the situation, choose to humorously defuse or rationally clarify the point of view. And the one who is angry, also need to consciously control themselves. For example, you say, \"I will never bring you good food again, no longer care about you\" (in fact, you can also use a petulant tone to say it) the other party's reaction: A \"no matter on no matter, I begged you to bring me?\" This situation, you have to reflect with each other, communicate with him, so that he also control his temper. b apologize. In this situation, you need to manage your temper. It is inevitable that we will have stumbles in getting along with people, let alone a deeply intimate relationship like a couple. the owner should not be too hard on herself, since she has already noticed her emotions, go for it and use your wisdom to run your marriage. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, hugs to you, you felt aggrieved and angry that your kindness to your husband was not recognized by some of the other person's reactions. You were angry and told the other person, \"I worked so hard to bring you food and you won't eat it, I'll never bring you good food again.\" How did your husband respond? Usually similar things happen a lot?1, express the needs and feelings, so that the other party to understand your heart may be in the other party's view, it is some grapefruit meat, when to eat does not matter, or because there are other things to divert the attention of the forget. But in your opinion, these are your hard work to bring back, is your good to each other to show. In fact, you very much hope to get each other's recognition and affirmation, your love is needed to be seen, you will feel that their efforts are worthwhile. Then you can try to change a direct way, directly with each other to say your emotions, is to express emotions rather than venting emotions, there is a difference between the two. For example, \"this grapefruit meat I think is very delicious, specially brought back to let you also taste, but you did not eat in time, I feel aggrieved and some anger, I know this is your choice, but I hope that their own good to you, can be seen by you, about this matter, how do you see it?\" 2, adjust the communication and get along mode mentioned above to timely and direct expression of your needs, but also with each other, the other party can also express the good to you, marriage has been in the payment of people is very tired, especially when your payment did not get a response. Of course we are good to the other half, not to get what, but the heart will still have expectations. At the same time, it is also appropriate to lower their expectations, I can be good to you, but how the other party responds, this is really not their own control. If you feel that you need to be responded to for your dedication and affection, you can bring it up with your husband and listen to what the other person thinks. You can also bring it up in person if you have concerns, \"Why don't you eat the grapefruit meat I brought home? Is it because you think xxx?\" If you are able to get clarification on the doubts in person, you might feel a lot better about it, and sometimes you might be overthinking it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are in love with him. Love is giving and giving. You are willing to share the best of the world with him. Only, the so-called best may be the best you think. Each person is born differently, some like the noise and some like the quiet, some love Apple and some love iPhone, some like reading and some like traveling, some like grapefruit and some like burgers. Love him, according to his rhythm and will. Otherwise, the wrong iPhone to the people who like apple, the two people may get two people froze two not happy. love is not control, more not wishful thinking and you forced. Love is a happy existence. The feeling of love needs to flow slowly between each other. Love him, try to express the true feelings to him. I worked hard to bring my favorite grapefruit back to you, you don't eat it, I'm a little upset. If... Try it, okay? Maybe, you change, the way you love him changes, and his world changes, and so does yours.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello building owner! In fact, every person is self-centered, when a person expresses concern for another person, he or she is actually hoping to gain another person's concern, and when he or she expresses love for another person, he or she is likewise hoping to gain another person's love, but when your concern and love are not responded to, he or she calms himself or herself, and even generates some resentment and anger, but this kind of concern and love is all unjustifiable. But the problem is that you have to force yourself to do these things in the first place, and in the second place, you have to do it wishfully, and in the third place, you have to force the other party to accept your good or love, and in the fourth place, the other party does not accept it and threatens it, which is really your problem. Why do you say so? 1, forcing yourself to do things, itself shows that you are not really from the heart to do this thing, so your heart contains the \"good or love for others\" to be discounted, so the other party may be able to perceive these, so he can not be accepted. 2, their own wishful thinking to do things, it shows that The other party does not need your good or love, when a person has no need, you have to give, the other party either do not want, or do not value. 3, forcing the other party to accept your good or love, this is more the starting point is not in the other party, it is more like a kind of good or love in the name of a kind of manipulation. 4, the other party does not accept, and the threat, which is even more lip-service to other people's good and love, but in fact more to interfere in the lives and decisions of others, it is simply a matter of intervention. Other people's lives and decisions, there is no respect for the dignity of others as a subject, but want to achieve a kind of control over others, so that people passively obey their own arrangements, in order to show their own superiority. Therefore, you above these so-called good and love, in fact, more so that the other party to bear more invisible pressure, the mind is bound, but will destroy the relationship between you and feelings. The above is my personal point of view, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm glad to answer your question first to analyze the owner's problem from the company to take grapefruit, the husband does not eat, angry, feel angry is their own problem, compulsive to make the husband to accept their own good. Psychology will generally have a such a rhetorical question, what benefits will be gained by doing so. Bring grapefruit so that like grapefruit husband to eat, normal in the owner cognitive response, the husband will thank themselves for what they do, that is, reward, sure. That is, the owner is trying to get the husband's affirmation, the owner describes will do a lot of wishful thinking, is to describe the payment was rejected, did not get the owner expects the return of the psychological state, in fact, the return is to affirm themselves. Another phenomenon, forced to let the husband to eat, this is actually about the relationship between control and obedience, in the scene of two people, the owner plays pay controller, the owner of the positioning of the husband's role is, acceptance of obedience. Although on the surface it seems to be a matter of eating or not eating grapefruit, in fact, it is the owner of the building in a long time with her husband, very much want her husband's affirmation, so, will do a lot of things for his sake. There should be a childhood child inside the owner saying, why hasn't he affirmed my worth when I do so much for him. The owner is so tied up in her own thoughts of wanting affirmation that she will force her husband to eat even when the other person isn't eating.  In fact, for the individual angry a moment of reaction, is to want to vent out, and the owner in that moment of fact has been angry mood verbalization, is hard work to bring you back, here the language is essentially still stating their own pay. And the owner soon felt angry again is their own problem, and again accused themselves should not have emotions. Here I have to guess the owner's childhood experience, the owner in the grapefruit incident, with pay and control, did not get the affirmation, then angry, in fact, is neglect. Childhood experiences and family environment after a long period of time will formulate our future family, interpersonal way of interaction, perhaps is often referred to as psychology, compulsive repetition. The owner of the building may be in the early experience of a controlled role, may be neglected by the family, but will not be neglected to do a lot of effort, want to attract the attention of people around care. That's why she had this mental process in this grapefruit incident and wanted her husband's affirmation so badly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject ah, see the words, give you a warm hug, I hope my words are helpful to you: here I would like to recommend a book \"Pleasure Disorder\" to you. Author Harriet Black, a clinical psychologist, the author based on the summary of many years of clinical treatment experience, detailed description of the types of pleasing disorder, causes and solutions. In the text, the author gives two types of methods: first, inward cognitive change. The first is inward cognitive change, which tells us to change those absolute thoughts of \"should\" into choice thoughts, for example, you can replace \"I should be nice to you\" with \"I can be nice to you if I want to.\" It's not like I have to be nice to you. The second is to change your attitude outwardly and learn to reject others. From a psychological point of view, trying to please others is a sign of lack of confidence in oneself, and gaining a sense of being by pleasing others only drains one's energy, and when we give, but others don't appreciate it, we will be prone to negativity. Sometimes we have the wrong idea that giving the other person what they have that they think is good, that is good for them, but often it is what we think is \"good\", because what we need others do not necessarily need. The most important thing is still communication, encounter problems early early to solve, in order to be more happy and happy oh.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! I've read your question carefully, and I can feel your problem from the question, so I hope my answer can help you. \uff0a\uff0a\uff0a\uff0a The subject is now troubled by the forced good to the husband, the husband does not accept will be angry, tantrums, etc., the subject also realized that they are not right, enough to show that the subject is very good. The subject ate the grapefruit is quite delicious, thinking that the husband likes to eat to bring him back, he does not eat to make you very angry, the subject is the heartache of the husband, when he remembers his preferences, he does not eat may be to let you feel that a waste of your mind, so that you are very upset mentally. In fact, we all make this kind of mistake, I think in my heart to give others good, will impose some behaviors on others. How can we reduce this behavior? Standing in the point of view of others you brought your lover a grapefruit, after dinner, he has not eaten, first do not go to anxious, question why he did not eat, first consider whether the dinner is too full to eat it, or do not want to eat it today. Restrain your temper in seeing your husband did not eat grapefruit want to lose your temper, first take a deep breath to calm yourself not to lose your temper, you brought your husband grapefruit is for his own good, he may be grateful to you, you lose your temper to his feelings for you are spent, into the effort to not please. I hope you can get rid of the trouble! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "My guess is that you have been \"loved\" in this way by a loved one who brought you something they thought was good to eat. You may have realized the love of your loved ones, so you are willing to love your husband in this way. This is not a problem, right? This time, I brought it, my husband did not eat it, so I will not bring it in the future. Or instead of bringing grapefruit, bring apples. You are now starting to build a new way of loving with your husband. It may be that the old ways still work, or you may need to develop new ways of loving. Whichever ways make you feel comfortable, you will keep those ways and make them exclusively yours.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10149
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you fix being overly sensitive and caring too much about other people's feelings and judgments?",
        "description": "Too sensitive, too concerned about other people's feelings of evaluation, walking on the road is also very concerned about other people's eyes. What to do? Is there any solution?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, therapies, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! People with sensitive personalities usually have a phenomenon of over-interpretation of what is happening in the outside world. Each of us will inevitably have the psychological tendency to be sensitive to how others perceive us. This psychological trait is the self-protection instinct of human beings, is the result of the social development of human animal attributes, as an individual human being to obtain progress, integration into society as a guarantee mechanism. However, if a person is too sensitive and suspicious, heavily entangled in other people's views of their own, then not only live a very tired, but also will be cocooned, difficult to extricate themselves. Obviously a small insignificant thing, but in the eyes of people with sensitive character, as if holding a magnifying glass to see the world. All the small things become big things, all the unhappy are infinitely enlarged. In fact, everyone's character has this or that problem, some people are born sensitive, some people are born big. But there is no perfection in every personality.  Trying to gain validation and presence from external judgment is no longer about you, but about being a \"puppet\" of others, who can control your emotions with a casual remark. But in fact, others may not care so much about you, maybe just a casual comment, for yourself, you are the most important, do not have to live for other people's views and evaluation. Psychologist Adler said: our troubles and sufferings are not because of the things themselves, but because of the perceptions we put on these things. Other people's comments in itself is nothing, mainly in their own feelings, for example, for negative comments, nervous people feel like how to say how to say it, and continue to do what I do; low self-esteem and sensitive people will be thinking I am not doing what is not good enough, what can I do to make the other side satisfied? This often puts you in a painful situation, while the person making the comment is not affected at all. \ufe0f Acknowledge and accept your imperfections, embrace the strengths and weaknesses in yourself yourself, recognize them and accept them yourself. Thus giving yourself the opportunity to build on what you have in yourself and improve what you don't have in yourself. Thus, you will be able to listen to the true monologue of your own heart, and you will be able to reach the depths of your heart with happiness. In this way, you don't have to deeply disguise yourself, hide the deficiencies in yourself, and let yourself live with a tired heart and body. \ud83e\udde1 Encourage yourself constantly. Mentally suggest to yourself that I am the best, I am unique in this world. When you start valuing yourself and focusing on your inner self, you keep giving yourself confidence in all parts of your life. When you have self-confidence, you will naturally work hard and smoothly, and that inner ease and joy will also flow from your heart in your speech, mannerisms and all kinds of behavior. \ud83e\udde1 Study more, enhance their self-confidence. Learning is to improve our cultural quality, armed with an excellent way to our minds, our knowledge of the draw, we can make us a good way to open up our minds, in the event of a problem, will not be baffled, worried, not looking for ways to solve the problem, the path. And the continuous use of knowledge in reality, and will play a positive role in our lives, so that they are full of self-confidence, and continue to run forward. Attention to their own inner feelings, others are motivated to live a better helper. In contact with you, no matter what role this person plays in your life, but not let you live without self, without your own independent personality. You have to realize that each of us exists independently, with our own complete system of thought, and we can't be so concerned about the other person that we lose sight of our own existence because of the other person's importance. You have to let yourself always have a sense of existence, are to others irreplaceable important position, you can really get the respect and like others. You don't need to prove to others that you are worthy of being loved If you are constantly trying to make yourself worthy of being loved, then the thing you should do now is to stop; if you are taking great pains to hide and not let others find out your shortcomings, then the thing you should do now is also to stop. Deep down, everyone desires to be loved for who they are as a person without trying to prove to others that they are worthy of being loved. The first step you need to take to make this happen is to gather the courage to show your true self to people. Let go of your carefully disguised facade of glitz and glamor, even if you may worry that your real self will scare them off. I know it's pretty hard to change at first, hang in there, learn to love yourself and respect your feelings, start by learning to say no, go for it, I believe in you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1099
       },
       {
        "question": "Don't like the current work environment and next position, is it the right time to jump ship?",
        "description": "Coordinates of Guangzhou, the current unit of work for almost 2 years, (1) work on Saturdays, every day busy to no life, basically 8:00 am has been in the company to stay until 10:00 pm, the rhythm is very fast. (2) the leadership is very strict, she entered the office no one to talk, the atmosphere is more depressing. Because they are in an office, usually and subordinate units call to communicate with the work, she will also directly next to the speech inserted into your phone call. Team employees are afraid of the head. (3) The next promotion is expected to take about 2 years, but the position is not their favorite. (4) Currently the business work is already familiar with a lot of trivia and repetition. (5) Basically no time for myself to study for certificates and promotion. Now I have a chance to change my job in Shenzhen, and there is a possibility that my salary and benefits will be improved, so can I consider jumping ship?",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Work Stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, probably the owner of the problem is categorized into the following aspects: 1. dissatisfaction with the current work, the management style of the leadership, the atmosphere of the work environment, the content and time of the work, so much so that it seriously affects the owner's mood of life. 2. self-study certification and other things with the current work conflict. 3. the choice of job-hopping, one is the novelty of the future work, and the other one is the current proficiency and the next two years will promote the The job. Of course, one is full of unknowns and challenges, and the other is irritating and tasteless. To jump to a new job actually depends on whether the owner has the courage to face new things as well as the ability to bear the risk of new things, if the owner can, then my suggestion is that you can go to jump. Reason] is as follows: 1. The owner of the description of a large part of the description to talk about the work of the bad, and involves a lot of aspects. The owner of the work here has reached a painful point, the owner has the idea of leaving, then sooner or later the owner will choose to leave. 2. The owner is still in the stage of self-improvement, in the study of the certificate, as the owner said, this work affects these, from a certain point of view, the improvement of self-competence is more important, since the owner is in a stage of continuous efforts to upward, it is not a bad thing to go! Meet a new challenge is not bad. 3. the future although there is the possibility of promotion, but do not like, interest to a certain extent will affect our work efficiency and results. 4. there is a other job opportunities, salary and benefits are higher, to go to a different city, for a new environment, you will have a new experience, a new journey, that will inevitably be full of new force. 5. the job is not a new job. 6. the job is not a new job. 7. the job is not a new job. 8. the job is not a new job. 9. the job is not a new job. 10. the job is not a new job. Of course, all the above reasons are based on the owner's courage and risk-taking attitude. In addition to the benefits of these job-hopping, we also need to consider what other problems after job-hopping, not a detailed list here, I believe the owner should be aware of the concerns that will arise, consider these not to be entangled, but in advance to prepare to deal with. I hope you have a bright future, no matter what choice you make, you will have a life that you like. Grateful for the encounter! \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, if you really don't like the working environment and the next position, I think it is possible to jump ship. From your situation; you work long hours every day of the week, and the environment is rather depressing, which is not very conducive to people's physical and mental health, and may invariably bring a lot of pressure. The next position will take two more years, and that position is not your favorite, if you stay up for two years to rise to the position, you may feel more pressure. Although the business is skillful, there are many chores, tasks and repetitions, which may make you feel tired or less enthusiastic about your work. If there is a new job, new work environment, higher pay, it might be really good to give it a try and maybe you will get better in your career. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing as you said a lot of information about this current job and it's basically a pain in the ass, it just so happens that there's another opportunity and it seems like I'd be doing myself a disservice if I didn't change jobs. The only thing I'm confused about is what the new job is really like. A single sentence \"salary and benefits may have a certain increase\" is not specific enough to facilitate comparison, I suggest more detailed, to the four points in your question: the length of work, leadership, development space, work content for comparison. Work hours this point, I think for you is not simply consider what time to get off work, how long to work, how fast the pace, I think you are considering how much time you can have. And this \"own time\", I think you should be used to learn and improve first. You said that your business is familiar and repetitive, I don't know your specific work, but in this case, it can't be said that you don't have the time, but you may have very little energy to go back to the level of learning and improvement. Therefore, if you do want to be able to invest more in your own learning and improvement, then this job certainly can not be done for too long, because it is not conducive to the realization of your own pursuits; at the same time, you have to weigh whether the new job can meet your needs in this regard. Leadership is actually a factor that has a great impact on changing jobs, sometimes there is really no need to compromise yourself too much, but it is best to know how the leader of the new job is like, and get in touch with them during the interview. As for development space, I'm not so sure, but this seems to be less important than your interest in work and learning to improve for the time being. Job content, you didn't mention it, so I'm not too sure if it's the same job content as now, and further information can actually be learned first. As of now, I personally judge that you have a greater need for learning and improvement and normal office communication (mainly leadership), and you definitely need to jump, but to what new job, you can think about it. There is no information related to the new job, so much for advice.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "My dear, as someone who has been there, I do understand the depression and uncertainty you are feeling right now. Looking at your question, you are having more uncertainty and uneasiness about jumping ship at this point of time, right? Please learn to live with uncertainty, because life itself is unknown, and the uncertainty of the times we live in is even more prominent. You have to believe that you are fully capable of dealing with every change. There will be uneasiness, but it's all temporary. I live in Shenzhen, and the pressure is not less than Guangzhou. I met some friends from Guangzhou who lamented that the pace and consumption in Shenzhen is faster and higher than Guangzhou, and some of them even chose to return to Guangzhou. I would suggest that you get to know your new job and city better, and talk to your friends about it. The job still depends on your background, interest and intention. What is the direction you want to improve, is it enough to get a license? Life itself is repetition, but in repetition there are different situations and different innovations. Lastly, I think you are just not happy in your job, largely because of the atmosphere, but we all can and cannot choose our own leaders, I don't know what the leadership and atmosphere of your new job will be like, but please know how to express yourself and get along with the environment, and at the same time, find the right way to decompress yourself. Come on, you can do it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13946
       },
       {
        "question": "I get especially angry easily when people say anything about me, how can I change this personality?",
        "description": "Even if it's just a joke or a negative comment, I get angry easily, I don't know how to respond, and I'm sulking, and it's hard to smother it in my mind and then I can dream about it at night. How can I change my personality?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! I used to experience the same emotions as you, even if I knew that people were joking, but I took it seriously. This is everyone's emotional distress, after all, everyone wants to be recognized by others, and no one wants to hear negative comments from others. When you hear the negative evaluation of others, allow yourself to lose anger for a short while, and then on the matter of fact to consider their own in which area can have room for improvement, the negative evaluation of others is precisely for us to grow the reminder. \"No one is perfect, no red foot\", everyone has more or less shortcomings, objective can not be changed, we can make up for other ways, subjective we can go to work, that is to stimulate our growth momentum. There is nothing wrong with a sensitive character, step by step to do a good job of their own is the best stimulus for us. When you hear negative comments, you can express your feelings without being rude, but also allow your own emotions to vent, and then remember to be clear about how you can do well on the line.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject may be a sensitive personality, and sensitive people are more inclined to ruminate, and tend to hold on to things that have happened. You are deeply affected by things that other people don't even care about. Because of overthinking often lead to their own into negative negative emotions. Because sensitive people are naturally more susceptible to negative emotions, don't be too hard on your personality. You can learn some techniques on how to deal with negative thinking so that you minimize the time you spend ruminating. Cognitive conditioning everyone has different standards, different perspectives and perspectives on issues, try to objectively look at other people's evaluation of you, say the right thing on the acceptance, because it can make you better; if it is completely distorted facts, or to vent their emotions, then do not have to pay attention to it at all. Justice lies in the hearts of the people, and it's not as if he's saying you're not, you're not, right? For example if someone says you're stupid, are you really stupid? Is he God? He criticizes you so arbitrarily and doesn't see any other value in you and your possibilities for growth, so how much value does his comment have? Learn relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditating, taking a walk in nature and letting your thoughts pause. Observe the falling leaves, listen to the birds, nature is so amazing and wonderful. Or go for a great meal, smell the good aromas, go for a liver and guts workout, put yourself in a scenario that makes you comfortable and relaxed, then you will be in a much better mood. Divert your attention to something else that requires concentration, work, study, talk to a friend, or read, watch a movie, write a diary, keep yourself busy, cognitive resources are diverted, then you have less energy to think about the negative comments of others about you. Being more tolerant of yourself, mastering certain emotional regulation skills, improving your cognition, and conforming to your personality will make your life better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It takes time to change. Need to get in touch with when the joke when negative comments you will appear angry, need to go from there and constantly practicing, of course, if they do not have the means to get in touch with, then want to improve is very difficult, because from will not be to will be a continuous process of figuring out. Fortunately in the moment you recognize the inadequacy of this point, at least a discovery, perhaps someday, you watch a movie, browse the news will appear a similar scene, perhaps so that you suddenly more awake it. And then there are these negative comments, joking words first not to mention your emotions, first to think about it, why these are so easy to provoke your emotions? What exactly are the reasons whether there is really a reason. There is also the need to realize whether similar things have come up in the past to the point that you are now confronted with them, consciously preventing them. But then that prevention becomes a hindrance to yourself. I think the first thing to do when it comes to a thing is to analyze and analyze the thing first. So don't jump to conclusions about a thing first. Analyze it first. Maybe someone else says it's 1 but through your understanding you think it's 2. Share a thing, one day a person to take the bus to a certain place to do business, do a good job to the nearby bus stops waiting for the car, because not familiar, so only through the phone to find the route, it is not coincidental to find the time, there is a bus in the cell phone shows that it has arrived, this hurry up to wave the driver open the door in fact, the driver has closed the door to meet the person who beckoned, and then opened the door. Get on the bus, the driver issued a question why you always like to look down at the phone. That person just said a check the route while beside other passengers said also some people do not understand the route. So that's why sometimes what you think is 1 think it must be 1 it could be 2 therefore think more before jumping to conclusions. Maybe things are not what you think they are.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3258
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I can't control my late nights?",
        "description": "I can't control myself to stay up late, I've stayed up until after 5am for 4 days in a row, and I have to go to work at 8:30am, I need to get up one and a half hours earlier, sometimes I can't get up and I'm late, how can I improve it? Actually feel sleepy, also feel the heartbeat accelerated, just do not want to sleep, or can not sleep?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Procrastination, Staying Up Late",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, I hope the following answers help:** Not sure why you stay up late? Is it because of an insomnia problem? Or is it something like a behavioral habit of checking your phone? There may be a problem with obsessive-compulsive thinking here. Psychologically speaking, obsessive thinking stems from the developmental problems of the \"anogenital period\" which subconsciously has a great influence on the obsessive-compulsive personality. Sigmund Freud also emphasized the influence of fixation during the anogenital period (roughly from 18 months to 3 years old) and aggressive impulses during this period on the formation of an obsessive-compulsive personality. Compulsions are divided into thinking compulsions and behavioral compulsions, with yours falling more into the former category. A compulsive thinker's greatest fear after making a decision is the unfortunate consequence of feeling \"out of control\"; in your life, you probably try to think through all your choices and expect to be in control of the outcome; at the same time, a compulsive thinker has a tendency to procrastinate, and will do everything in his power to achieve \"the best\". The compulsive thinker has a habit of procrastinating and doing everything in their power to achieve the \"ultimate\" (e.g., trying to be as close to perfect as possible or as certain as possible). Decisions are often influenced by the use of \"yes, but--\" thinking. **It takes perseverance, determination and action to adapt and change. We are committed to exploring the ordinary and the extraordinary, but the latter never stems from the former, as in the case of the best and the successful, whose grandparents were not ordinary farmers for three generations? Ordinary people want to obtain extraordinary achievements, the process is never \"against human nature\" - you can not listen to \"learn to be contented\" chicken soup mentality, you can not brush all day jitterbug! What you need is to recognize the direction, action, action, action! What you need is to have no distractions, insist, insist, insist again! Whether you are adjusting your own psychology, or want to get an extraordinary life, if you in the \"against human nature\" on the road farther and farther, you are not far from success. Although we can't escape the \"rule of eight or two\", but how do we know we can't achieve our own success if we don't try? On this path, it is necessary to escape from the original comfort zone, will certainly fall into the \"valley of despair\", but with your action and perseverance, will certainly usher in the \"slope of enlightenment\". In this way, you can become the best version of yourself!\" \u03b5 Bless you. I am, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, stay up late, there may be the following reasons: cognition of staying up late Some people have always believed that \"why sleep long before life, death will sleep long\", they think that sleep is a waste of time, stay up late to get time as if they are more time than others. If you hold such a perception, subconsciously rejected sleep, although the consciousness that stay up late is harmful to their own bodies, but still can not resist the great power of the subconscious mind, will still habitually stay up late. Therefore, in order to change the bad habit of staying up late, the first thing to do is to change your perception of staying up late. Bad work and rest habits Many people stay up late because they have developed a bad work and rest habits, every night after twelve o'clock to sleep. Over time, the formation of such a biological clock, not to that point will not be sleepy. Bad habits are easy to develop, but it is difficult to change. But for the sake of their own health, or need to change, we can get up early, do sports, make their lives a little more fulfilling to make themselves go to bed early. Stay up late sometimes to relieve emotions I do not know if the owner has ever had such a feeling, because of unhappy things during the day, lying in bed at night, tossing and turning, sleepless all night. Because of a variety of complex emotions make it difficult for us to sleep, and stay up until they figure out this thing, or sleepy, only to sleep in a daze. Therefore, we also need to learn to reasonably regulate their emotions in life, improve their emotional intelligence, do their own emotional master. Staying up late is harmful, but it is not obvious that we all know the harm of staying up late, but the harm of staying up late is not obvious, stay up late for a day or two and will not have any reaction, and even some people stay up late for a year or two will not feel the body has obvious changes. If the harm of staying up late is obvious, the next day there will be obvious physical reaction, there will be obvious discomfort. People who stay up late may change their routine in time. Staying up late is just like smoking and drinking, although everyone knows the harm it does, but still because of the momentary \"pleasure\" of staying up late and temporarily ignore the harm it does. Finally, I hope that the owner really recognize the harm of staying up late, adjust their behavior, and soon develop a good habit of going to bed early and getting up early. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1881
       },
       {
        "question": "Want to run away when you see another guy being nice to a girl you like?",
        "description": "For some reason, when I see a girl I like being pursued, I want to give up, and even if another suitor is willing to spend a lot of money on this girl, I get angry instead and want to stay away from this girl more and more. Often bothered by this, I wonder why this is so? Is there any way to keep me from choosing to run away and instead boldly pursue girls.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Relationship Management, Good Feelings",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, escaping attachment relationship, not terrible, slowly learn how to improve self-confidence, give yourself enough security, cultivate a secure attachment relationship. From your description, you can see that you want to run away and don't want to continue because the girl you like is being pursued by someone else, either materially or mentally surpassing you. It may be due to your internal inferiority complex about yourself in intimate relationships, thinking that you are not attractive enough, PK can't outshine others, and will fail, and that would be humiliating, so you choose to give up before you start in order to maintain a sense of security. In intimate relationship building, such an attachment is avoidant, the essence of change lies in slowly trying to face their own inadequacies and lack of self-confidence, to do something they dare not or avoid, so that they grow up. When you are brave enough to approach someone you like, the process itself is sweet and a breakthrough for you. It's likely that your self-confidence will improve in the process as well. Give yourself time to grow, take your time, not just in intimate relationships, but in other relationships as well, dare to show your heart and express yourself, and then take action to achieve your goals, and you will see yourself differently. Perhaps there are reasons for your type of attachment that exist because of your own upbringing and experiences, try to trace the roots yourself and recognize where your shadows are so that you won't be afraid to chase the sun. In addition, words and thinking on the sober awareness is not enough, still need you to take action to help yourself out of the escape, even if it is to say a few words to the girl, or send a small gift or go to a certain activity together and so on. Need to first and the other side of the intersection, there is the possibility of mutual understanding, there will be a story, your close and heart will be seen, and be responded to. Believe that you have a unique charm that can attract your favorite person, and also have the ability to pursue your favorite person and be with them. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14446
       },
       {
        "question": "After graduating as a programmer and going to a media company with no experience, what should I choose now?",
        "description": "After graduation, has been doing programmer work, I do not like this thing, write code every day, and I like the film and television industry. Last year in the work pressure and the body's already bad situation, sudden serious illness, interrupted the programmer work, but fortunately saved, when resting at home, the heart more and more tired of programmer work. My family is from the countryside, no work at home is gossip, I would like to do a little self media, but my family always say I can not do anything, I am also very lost, the result is not settled. Now in Zhengzhou, interviewed a few programmer positions, the interview is not through, in fact, also very do not want to go, looking for a \"course consultant\" sales position, an interview on the pass. But I still like the film and television industry, do short videos and so on, the feeling will be very interesting, but if you go to interview this kind of media company, professional restrictions, no experience ...... feel very difficult, this is my life? Would it be better to reincarnate?",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Choice Tips, Job Fatigue",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, I understand your pain to understand that the owner has been engaged in the programmer's work, but do not like the work, once also because of the pressure to do this work is too sick, the family did not give their own support, all the way to frustration makes you very lost, and began to fear that if you go to pursue the career of choice because of the lack of experience and fail again, but from your description of the experience in addition to such a lack of success, I also see a courageous you! However, from your description, apart from this lackluster experience, I also saw a brave you. Although your journey has not been easy, you are still steadfast in your dream, not because of the fear of being gossiped about, not because of other job interviews to discourage their own ideas, you realize and admit their true thoughts, you really like the film and television industry. At this point you have surpassed many people who are afraid to face themselves and don't know what they want. It is only now that you have some hesitation and uncertainty about the future and negative emotions, in fact, you find that your current emotions do not have an objective and real basis as the support of these negative emotions, but only your own imagination of the difficulties that limit you. You say [but if you go to interview this kind of media company, professional limitations, no experience ...... will feel very difficult,], you have not yet to try to set yourself up for bad expectations. Think about it, once not enough like the programmer you can also be able to get on the job can also find a job, for their own love of things, why not? Just the question is, programmers because you have experience and skills, and the film and television industry, you are only in the surface of the love or have you made efforts to improve their skills? Experience comes with experience, it doesn't just happen, does it? As a corporate business of course you would be willing to hire someone who is prepared, but no one has to take responsibility and foot the bill for someone who can only verbalize their love for the white guy. When you issued the lament, is this your life, think of it in another way, you can be responsible for yourself, you can go from the present to create your desired future, your fate can be chosen by yourself. Perhaps at present you do not have any preparation to apply for these positions you like will not go well, but if you concentrate on research, improve their professional skills a year, five years later? In the meantime you can carry on a gainful employment and take time to devote and improve yourself while you're at it. It's just like the saying: opportunities come to those who are prepared. It's just up to you if you're willing to choose to give yourself that opportunity. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Since we have engaged in programmer related work, it means that our own logical thinking occupies a certain advantage, and we have certain computer knowledge, we can use technology to optimize the means, such as crawling insects, collecting data, and video editing and so on, we are very easy to get started, and these are our advantages, and we can reasonably use these advantages. Now the short video is more hot platforms are fast hand and jitterbug, fast hand users are relatively more inclined to the rural areas, the record is mostly real life, jitterbug inclined users are the new era of young people, people will play a little bit more, they will make use of a variety of special effects to make a variety of cool effects. Therefore, we can simply analyze who the main body of users in these two platforms are, what type of short videos people prefer to watch, what aspects we are good at and how we can make use of them, and also our own output ability, what others gain after watching our short videos, and how we should improve ourselves. There is also a platform you can try, is the video number of WeChat, now many people are still in the stage of figuring out, but relative to the entire WeChat ecosystem, short video of this piece of fat meat WeChat will not let go of, so we can release some of the production of the video through their own circle, to see how people around us, we still have what can be improved. In fact, success is not what have before the beginning, but what we experienced before success, since we like, also want to engage in this area of work, so far we have what to explore and try, even if it fails, but also certainly gain, after all, to do to know what their own deficiencies, what can be improved, and do not do it can only be a pipe dream. Learn to use their own advantages, since they like to do, anyway, we are now starting from scratch, do what you like, try to continue to output, contact with different groups of people, to find their own direction, as long as other people watched our video has a certain gain, slowly can accumulate their own small fans, slowly with our output to attract different people, do not necessarily successful, but do not do certainly will not! Success, doing what you like is a joy in itself, sometimes you don't need to be too concerned about gains and losses. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! From your description of the work you do not like to see in front of the aggression and helplessness, but also see you do not get the job you want to disappointment and loss, the teacher understands your feelings at this moment! At the same time also see your self-improvement, see your desire and hope. Because you have a positive mindset, you have to seek help to solve the problem of desire. There is a goal and direction in your heart, and there must be love and energy in your heart! The programmer's job is not your favorite, but you still insist on it, and that is what makes you valuable! You like not get for the time being, this is only temporary, as long as the heart is persistent, your wish will certainly be realized. First in different positions to exercise their own, so that they slowly grow and mature, so that they first full up, so that they first worth the money will not worry about no money to earn. That position can exercise people, will give people wealth, that is valuable experience. Their own heart of the work did not find, it is only a matter of time and circumstances. All opportunities are offered to those who are prepared. You can improve yourself in film and television, through some platforms to let everyone know you, recognize you, such as various competitions, a variety of works show are your platform to shine! I believe that one day you will be able to make your mark!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You can be a programmer, but don't like it. You like to do film and television, but don't necessarily get to do it. Well, the first thing you need to do is prepare, if you go into film and television, what do you do and how much would you get back in salary? How long will you do it? These are some of the first to consider clearly, and then, do some preparation, can enter the workforce to take on the task of a position. At this point, then go to look for work in film and television.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2854
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do about the fact that he talks about divorce all the time and hasn't divorced yet because I won't?",
        "description": "A something or nothing to mention divorce, such a man can still stay? Last night asked him to go for a walk, asked for his opinion, he said casually, not interested, concerned about him asked him how he was concerned about his emotional feelings, asked him, he said no feelings, he avoided feelings, he said it was very strange, the last time all the appointments for a divorce, why do you still ask for as a model couple, he does not move to divorce, so far, not divorced because I refused to do so, what should I do in this situation?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "One of the first things that needs to be overcome in a gender relationship is the difference in needs due to gender. Women have greater emotional needs in life than men, and need to understand me emotionally, know how I feel, and if he is a good listener, he can listen to me wholeheartedly. A man will choose to marry a woman who is kind and loves me, and wants a woman who can support him and not judge him no matter what he does. Of course there are times when you need to be alone to deal with your own things, he likes to shut himself up at this time no matter what the woman does, in the eyes of the man is a burden, especially, worry there are also some emotional needs, it is even more exacerbated by these burdens. When we base our understanding of the sexes and then go on to combine our own needs. We can try to recognize the state of a man, whether he is stuck in his emotions, he has problems that can not be solved, or obsessed with researching something, or playing games. These states appear when it turns out that in the middle of the family faced with his mom may be endless nagging, this is in that original family, he is fed up with all this, he has no way to rebel against his mom, but he has a way to rebel against you. Instead of going through all the trouble and having it affect the relationship, go through and avoid all of this, see which of these you can't tolerate the most, which ones you can't tolerate, which ones you can't tolerate, and which ones aren't that important. The ones that are not that important should be treated as if they didn't happen, and passed, and the ones that are the bottom line can be communicated. Of course you can try to teach your husband to express emotions, \"teaching\" is an art. It does not need to force, do not need to have a particularly intense emotions, he may be in the subtle and slowly penetrate each other. Of course, there is also the matter of \"divorce\" before you now. I don't know why you asked for it and what kind of state you were in when you made the decision. However, I believe that there must be something that attracts you to each other since you are actually together. Instead of heatedly discussing divorce, why don't you find a suitable opportunity, a suitable occasion. Really listen to \"each other\" on the stable life after marriage, their own views. Stability is not as intense as before marriage, need to be passionate, but more need to be operated. Management is the result of the efforts of both parties. May the words accompany you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4796
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I masturbate frequently when I am pregnant and can't stop but I am afraid of hurting the baby?",
        "description": "I just blame myself for being a bad mom, I'm afraid that I have to act in a way that will hurt the fetus and I can't help it, what should I do? I'm really torn and blaming myself, my baby's test results were good before, but I'm still worried, ugh! I feel like a creepy, perverted woman.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexuality",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "A big hug for you. First of all, sex is not shameful, on the contrary, it is beautiful and everyone has the right to enjoy it. Your concern only comes from the concern for the baby. Medically speaking, it is best not to have intercourse in the first and second trimester of pregnancy, as it may affect the baby, and the other times are relatively safer, and if the time is right, you can be intimate with your husband to relieve the pressure. As for masturbation, there is nothing more, as long as you pay attention to hygiene, do not be too strenuous. I hope this can help you to solve the little knot in your heart. I wish you a happy life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7080
       },
       {
        "question": "What about the inexplicable anger and irritation I get when I hear my mom talk?",
        "description": "Today my dad's car broke down and he called my mom, and my mom started to think of a way for my dad to fix it, and that's when my mom said to my dad that if I had four days off and it didn't work out, she would let me take a day off to fix my dad's car. This got to the point where I was particularly angry and annoyed for some reason. There are many other things like this, she will give my stuff to other people without my permission. Also coming into my room after I told him many times that he wasn't allowed in my room and she agreed. All of this makes me very angry and I have told her many times but she acts as if nothing has happened and does what she should.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication, Family Control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject baby. This feeling of being constantly scheduled and disrespected can cause us irritation, and the fact that the other party is our own mom also makes us feel in a dilemma as to what to do. Charming offers a few ideas for the subject's reference: 1. We can't control our mom's behavior Honey, when we tell our mom not to come to my room, isn't it a little bit like when she says go fix your dad's car? It's all about letting others do things the way you want them to and controlling other people's behavior, especially for a mom who is used to coming into your room. Mom probably thinks in her mind that you are still a child and she is used to making decisions for you. As close as mom is to us, she is also an independent individual with her own ideas and we can't dictate what she does. So, then there is nothing we can do? No, we do.2. You have the right to decide your own things. We do get to decide our own things. For example, to help dad fix the car, if you really don't want to go, or your job doesn't allow it, then you can not go, you don't have to be hard headed to do that. Even the room can be locked for you to avoid mom going in. But we need to let mom know what's on our minds so she understands, and that's also respectful to her. For example: Mom it's almost the end of the year, I've been really busy with work lately and I just can't find the time to work on my car. For example: mom I've grown up and need to have my own private space ...... in For example: that thing is very important to me, I can't afford to use it myself, and when I found out that it was gone, I was very sad ...... to say how I felt, so that mom can understand your Persistence, your thoughts ......3, more understanding of the difficulties of parents such as repairing the car this matter, mom directly arranged for us, we are not happy. If we try to understand why mom let you go to help dad repair the car? If it is Dad has never been, do not know so get, your idea will not change? You can take your dad there once to familiarize yourself with the process, so that next time he can go on his own. Between family members, they often say what they want the other person to do, but forget to tell the other person what they really think. Try to communicate more and understand more. Maybe you'll find a mom who's different from what's in your heart, and even a little bit cuter, haha ...... above, for reference. May you and I live the way we want to ......",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ in fact, the reason you feel angry and irritable, is because your mom ignored neglect your feelings, did not respect your ideas, sometimes obviously promised you something, but did not do it, some of the words are not trustworthy. This kind of emotional neglect is more damaging to a person, especially if they have been in this state of neglect for a long time. Because of the constant emotional neglect, a child can easily become incapable of self-care and unaccustomed to voicing their emotional needs. Children who experience childhood emotional neglect have difficulty finding a sense of belonging to others, which can lead to the perception that \"I'm not like them\". When you think it's bad to have emotions, you also think it's bad to have needs. When you shut out your emotions, you also shut out your needs and feel guilty for having them. In this case, I suggest you express yourself gently but firmly. For example, in the case of the car repair, you could say to your mom, \"You should have talked to me ahead of time about helping Dad with the car repair, but you didn't. And I don't want to do this thing, I hope that next time there is something related to me you can ask my opinion first.\" You need to make him realize that your opinion is important in the right way, and you need to go about your needs appropriately so that he realizes that he should respect you. Good luck ~.",
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        "questionID": 5969
       },
       {
        "question": "My physical condition is that of a person with very little strength, and I am afraid of the dark at night, what should I do?",
        "description": "I am a girl, my physical condition is the type of people with little strength, at night when I close my eyes is those TV dramas inside the ghosts, scary things, etc., and the night light is useless to me, so I can only wait until dawn to sleep, and then I feel physically very uncomfortable!",
        "keywords": "Treatment, diagnosis of diseases, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see the words. Many people are afraid of the dark, and fear of the dark is a primal human fear. In the dark, our range of vision is greatly reduced, which will put us in a state of serious lack of information, we will be uncertain about everything around us, and our sense of security is greatly reduced, so we will be afraid of the dark. Getting rid of the fear of the dark requires a process. Some suggestions to watch less horror movies, suspenseful movies TV series ghosts and monsters will become the prototype of your rambling, stay away from these prototypes, do not give the brain to provide creative material. Don't ruminate before going to bed let yourself be quiet, don't let your nerves get excited, lie in bed and don't ruminate, really can't inhibit the fantasies in your head get up and read a book. Listen to sleep music at bedtime to listen to some sleep music, white noise or yoga sleep guide words, concentrate on listening, unconsciously will fall asleep, I recently listened to white noise, very effective. Sleep with the headlights onThe nightlight won't work for you, what about the headlights, try self-hypnosis in a bright environment and tell yourself it's dawn now. Seek helpSeek help from parents and friends to slowly adapt to the darkness and gradually get rid of it. If you really can't, you can seek professional psychotherapy.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see the words, hug you, in fact, afraid of the dark is very normal, many people are afraid of the dark at night. --Because of closed eyes are scary things, night light is useless, can only sleep at dawn, resulting in physical discomfort --Able to see from the owner of the text, the owner of the fear of the dark because of closed eyes will think of scary things, there may be several possible Reason:Human factor:Because sometimes hear other people say scary things, to the time when they are alone, repeatedly remembered, feel their own and small size, can not beat anyone, insecurity, so will be afraid of the dark, will produce fear, fear of being alone. Because horror is becoming more and more real, horror movies link darkness and ghosts, and then distribution of eerie sound effects, so that the picture is very scary, subconsciously people will link the darkness and ghosts, feel fear. Darkness reminds people of death, loss, ghosts and other scary things. In fact, you have never experienced or seen a ghost or anything like that, but there is something like that in your mind... Famous psychoanalytic psychologist Jung put forward the \"collective subconscious\" can explain this phenomenon, that is, they have not experienced so that you fear of things, in the mouth of others said more, this fear will be implanted in your mind. Second, a few small suggestions to find a doll to sleep with you to sleep alone will want to be afraid, the owner can find a favorite doll, to the night time to sleep in the arms, as if there are people around, so you can reduce some of the fear. Shift attention, do a good job of bedtime preparation before going to bed to drink a cup of milk can help you sleep; before going to bed to do exercise or bedtime yoga, or empty your mind, meditation; listen to soothing music, relax their mood; or read a favorite, interesting book ...... shift attention, do a good job of bedtime preparation, so that they can sleep faster. Usually adhere to the appropriate exercise, reasonable diet in the usual, adhere to the exercise, reasonable diet. Exercise can not only release their own pressure, but also be able to active brain, promote blood circulation, helpful to sleep. Try not to watch too scary and exciting movies I hope my words are useful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. It seems that your fear of the dark has already turned your day and night upside down, seriously affecting your normal daily routine and causing health problems. Therefore, perhaps your fear of the dark can be considered a phobia. Although fear of the dark is a natural instinct, it seems that you have developed a conditioned reflex to darkness, as you experience fear whenever you are in such an environment. From a psychological perspective, this is a form of cognitive obsession. On one hand, you need to divert your attention. On the other hand, think back: did something stressful happen before you started feeling this way? You might be prone to mental tension and need to practice relaxation exercises. Additionally, you should engage in more physical exercise during the day, as traditional Chinese medicine believes that \"activity generates yang energy.\" Having a constitution with yang energy is something that ghosts and monsters tend to avoid in various ghost stories. If after trying various methods the situation does not improve and your sleep does not get better, then it is advisable to seek medical attention promptly at a reputable hospital's mental health department to get a clear diagnosis.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10064
       },
       {
        "question": "Junior high school classmates who haven't contacted each other for six years suddenly send a message that they are getting married ......",
        "description": "Classmate suddenly sent a message from qq that he was getting married and invited me to his wedding. I was quite surprised, after all, it's been a long time since I've been in touch, and I'm still in school. Unfortunately, on the day of his wedding, I happened to have an important examination. I politely declined, but it turned out that he still insisted that I go. Push for a long time, he sent a WeChat screenshot, let me add his WeChat friend .........",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Interpersonal Boundaries, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, hello, we do not speculate on others with malice, for the time being as the other party is sincere invitation to deal with, the wording is polite and thoughtful on the good, can be appropriate to express the heart and blessings. From your description, I can feel your confusion about your junior high school classmate's behavior. First recall whether you and this classmate junior high school relationship is good or now can recall two or three things with him, if you can, that means the relationship is still more than friendly, if not, just know the name, the relationship may be general. Analyzing the closeness of the relationship can help you adjust your behavior, your premise is that you can't go to the wedding yourself, so it may be necessary to consider the issue on a case by case basis. If it is more than friendly, you can sincerely express the reason why you can't be there, and make the words earnest and enthusiastic, because the other party can think of you, it may also be a kind of trust in you, but also have the meaning of wanting to meet your recent situation.  If it is a general relationship, politely rejected, the other party let you add microblogging, may be convenient to contact you later, you can add a little, but refused to go to the wedding reason, say or not, can be appropriate to express a little bit of heart, do not put each other's face refute too hard on the good. The most afraid of the air suddenly quiet, the most afraid of a long time not contact acquaintances suddenly sent invitations. May be carefully recalled, junior high school or high school classmates, seriously keep in touch with, there are not many people, but mention the name may know, we have traveled a long way, but also passed by a lot of people. Those youthful years have passed, most people are also important moments in life, will want to get up to get together. Everyone is playing with life, and that kind of simple and enthusiastic life only remains for a certain number of years. If you are thought of, it may be more comfortable to respond with kindness and warmth than guessing whether the other person is trying to collect gifts and other mentalities, and it will soften that time. It won't seem like it was done in a cold and thinly veiled way when you remember it later. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15896
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is my orientation to myself fluctuating and unstable?",
        "description": "Sometimes I feel that I am an extremely ordinary mediocre person, with no characteristics, no flair, and it's not a big deal if I'm missing from the planet, and other times I feel that I am the most unique person, a very special being who should be valued. I know everyone may think this way, but I would indulge in it. How to adjust this extreme mindset? How do I properly evaluate myself?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the subject to see your description, I feel deeply sympathetic in many different times, I will also be in such two kinds of ideas back and forth this is of course very normal because many times people to evaluate their own important or not, whether they have the ability of the standard, are from the environment to get the feedback and each of us is good at the part of the part of the part of the show, in the face of different environments and different people, in fact, different this is also It will be very easy to make people feel that they are in different moments, different environments, different people in front of the feedback, evaluation and description, can not be harmonized so that they are very confused, do not know what they are really like. In fact, about this matter can change a perspective to look at when you get along with others, most of the time, people are satisfied with you satisfied or not evaluation criteria: whether you are doing a thing, to meet the other side of the thing's expectations. If this thing is what you are good at, then it will be easy to get a higher evaluation and if it is very unfortunate that this thing happens to be not good enough for you, or the result does not meet the expectations of the other party, perhaps the other party will give a not so good feedback and this feedback, in turn, will allow you to have a new evaluation of their own and you were born into the world, you exist in this thing in itself, for your parents, your family, the important people close to you. For your parents, your family, the important people close to you is a gift, is a joy. Though sometimes in doing something, they do expect something from you. But when you think back, when you were a little baby who couldn't do anything, they didn't stop loving you because you couldn't do anything. So look at yourself from the perspective that you exist, that you are unique, that you are worthy of being loved, that you deserve a better life. It's just that sometimes, it's hard not to be subjected to the image of other people's circumstances. So, perhaps, we can do a little exercise. To think about and find out what are the parts of ourselves that we are better at, and what are the parts of ourselves that we are not very good at. What are the parts that you are good at, and what are you probably able to do. And the parts that you are not so good at, and whether you can do something to improve them. When you have a more objective assessment of your own abilities, it is easier to accept feedback from others. At the same time, because you know your strengths and weaknesses, you can grow at your own pace. It's not so easy to get lost in all the different standards of evaluation and feedback. I think that in everything you do, you're using all the strength you can muster at the time. This kind of you, no matter when, as long as you exist in this world, you are unique, shining and worthy of being loved.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject like you said, the evaluation of oneself will be unstable, this is a normal state have you ever noticed, in doing what things, is their own certainty to feel their own value, do what things, feel mediocre, full of uncertainty? Perhaps it will be found that people only do what they like to excel at, will feel their own power, and their own sense of control over things, while resisting what they do not like, will naturally face challenges, feel uncertain. So doing more of what you like and feel good about in general will boost your confidence. For those who are not good at what they do, but must do, with an open mind, to understand that life is full of unknown challenges, people are in the breakthrough after a challenge to grow themselves. The gift of growth is a sense of certainty about things, and this confidence is honed through experience. And in the face of challenges, holding back in worry and uncertainty is a stumbling block that prevents one from reclaiming one's power. When things happen and angry emotions come up, have an awareness, feel the physical sensations that come with the emotions, accept the emotions as they happen, and at the same time look at what you can do to help the emotions release out, such as going for a walk, getting out of the way, anything that will help the emotions flow and bring you back to inner peace, try it. The rising of inner strength will be felt in the constant clearing, and I believe there will be a day when I will feel the vibrancy and beauty of life that comes from my own strength. Good luck winning back your power.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Come on, hugs to you In fact, both ideas are correct, both are true. But you can't say that you have an unstable position for yourself because of that. Each of us is a grain of sand in a vast desert relative to the 7 billion people in this world, and it really is the same with or without you. That's the outside of where we are. But at the same time, for ourselves, for those who love us, we are unique and irreplaceable. This is the inner part of who we are. There's nothing wrong with either, it's just a different angle to stand on. I've had my share of this kind of tornness, on the one hand I feel like the world is going to turn without anyone, even my family, my children, and that others can still get along just fine without me. But on the other hand, I feel that for my kids, the role of mom is unique and cannot be replaced by anyone else. I am also particularly afraid that my children will fall into the hands of their stepmother. Li Tan once said that the earth is not worth it. I changed it to, earth is not worth it, but you are. Granted, this overcrowded world doesn't care about an ordinary, ordinary person, but for the loved ones who see the world as their world, without you, they are the world is collapsing. I think your idea of \"extreme\" is a good one. On the one hand, you have no fear of the world, and you have a clear understanding of the world. On the other hand, you can be aware of your own uniqueness. Then put your focus on yourself, on your own value, such as making your parents happy, giving love to your children, and so on. Value yourself to yourself. If you can't find more strength in yourself, then look at how important you are to your loved ones, how valuable you are to them. But, ultimately, you need to recognize yourself and your value from within in order to not put the power of evaluating yourself in the hands of others. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hiya ~ I understand very well what's bothering you, hugs to you ~ Actually, if you look at both of your thoughts objectively, they are both valid, though extreme. \"Thinking that I'm an extremely ordinary mediocre person with no characteristics, no flash, and that it's no big deal if I'm missing from the planet.\" It's true, each of us is very insignificant when viewed over the course of time, and our lives are only a hundred years of free existence in this world. Again, one feels that one is the most unique person, a very special and deserving being. There is nothing wrong with thinking that way. There are absolutely no two people in the world who are exactly the same, so we are unique and we are special enough to be respected and valued. And we are indeed valued in the eyes of those who love us. So I think you can synthesize these two extremes to achieve a result of looking at yourself objectively. That is, thinking on a larger scale, we are actually quite insignificant, so we should always remain humble, always on the path of learning and creating as much value as we can. And thinking on a smaller scale, we should not feel worthless because of our humility. We are not unique enough, and we are potential and capable enough, so we are also willing to fight for our own well-being. Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4936
       },
       {
        "question": "Read a lot of books, hear a lot of stories, but can't live a good life, why?",
        "description": "Read a lot of books, listen to a lot of stories, but still anxious and unable to live well",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, in fact, such a phenomenon is very common, and there is no need to be too anxious about it. Why is this phenomenon? \ufe0fThere is no correlation between \"getting it\" and \"doing it\"\ufe0f Allan Wicker did a study and found that students' attitudes towards cheating had little to do with their actual cheating behavior, and that there was little correlation between people's self-described racial attitudes and their actual behavior. behavior had similarly little correlation. These two studies suggest that it is easy to equate [knowing] with [being able to do] in most people's perceptions. But the truth is that people are often influenced by a number of factors in the process of transforming [know how] into [can do]. I\ufe0f now come to think about whether there is such an encounter such a situation?1. False understanding of the so-called false understanding, that is, our understanding of the knowledge or reasoning only stay in the surface meaning or external links, not really internalized them into our own knowledge experience, the error of the [understand] as [understand]. Cognitive scholars believe that stimuli and behavior are not directly linked, there is also the influence of schema, that is, a kind of psychological cognitive structure that can help people perceive, organize, access and use information. 2. Cognitive dissonance Sometimes, we understand and can understand what should be done, but in fact, we still can not do it, and will also feel anxious, contradictory and distress for this. This may be the result of cognitive dissonance, where new cognitions conflict with existing ones. For example, people already know that it is okay to sleep late, but if they are really sick and the doctor tells them to rest early, they realize that they should rest as soon as possible. But whenever it is time to get ready for a break, the consistent idea that it is okay to sleep late and the idea that staying up late is bad for your health will be in contradiction or even in conflict. The way to balance the contradiction is to change the original cognition or add new cognition, such as the idea that [getting sick is not necessarily due to staying up late], or to emphasize that [I can have more time if I sleep later, and I can't sleep if I sleep earlier], and so on. And often people out of the protection mechanism of self-affirmation, it is difficult to deny their own or their own original cognitive and thinking patterns. 3. human instinctive short-sightedness human eyes can see the field of vision is limited, and in fact, we also have short-sightedness of the future phenomenon. We often can't imagine our future selves, but care more about the feelings of the present. That is, the short-sightedness of human instincts separates the present [I] from the future [I]. Therefore, even if we understand some of the reasoning, our brain will send out signals such as [it is useless] and so on, ultimately leading to our unwillingness and failure to do what we want to do.4. Weak mental ability \"to deal with people more\", \"to be confident and optimistic point \", \"Be enthusiastic and cheerful, take the initiative to communicate with others\" ...... Maybe we also often hear these words, they will have similar expectations, but feel it is difficult to do, and even more will feel inferior for this. But in fact, it is not that we do not understand, just the lack of a mental capacity, so that [want to do] and [can do] there is still a long distance between. The reasoning is someone else's, while the ability is their own. This so-called mental ability is the cognitive ability to recognize and perceive things in the world, as well as the ability to cope with the psychological suitability of environmental change and internal motivation. \ufe0fWhat you should do 1. Practice and act more to break false understanding. Take the initiative to learn and understand instead of reacting passively.2. Step outside your comfort zone. People tend to get used to formed ways of thinking and it's harder to change them. We can try some new ways to break out of the original comfort state in order to really apply the truth in practice.3. Realize your instinctive short-sightedness. See more and think more in order to connect the behavior with the result and enhance the motivation of the behavior.4. Enhance your mental ability. Mental ability is acquired, some past experiences may have led to our mental ability to have deficiencies, but there is no need to complain, because the efforts of the present can also create tomorrow's you. We can learn from our classmates and friends, dare to try, and also seek help from professional \"guides\" - counselors, and constantly improve our internal mental ability. I hope this helps you, (\u0e07-\u0300_-\u0301)\u0e07.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! We have read a lot of books and listened to a lot of stories, which are the precious treasures left to us by our predecessors. From these books and stories, we have learned that the world is so colorful and we know many truths and laws of the world. However, it can also be said that these stories are not related to us, they are experiences or stories belonging to other people. It is always easier to learn from books than from experience. Knowing these truths and experiences, we can use them to guide our life experiences and avoid taking the wrong path, but we have to live and learn. So learning a lot of knowledge and living well are two different things. That's why the Taoists say, \"When the Sage abandons his wisdom, the great thieves will stop. For the state, doing nothing may be the best state. For an individual, sometimes ignorance and ignorance will lead to a happier life instead. So as we ordinary people, how can we let ourselves live well?1. Understand our own needs internally, and have a goal in life.2. Focus on the goal within ourselves, have the power of action, go and concentrate on things, and satisfy ourselves without hurting others.3. Take care of the people around us, and let them live well. Satisfy others without hurting yourself. Interpersonal relationships can be smooth. 4. learn to improve their own social skills, so that they can live well, but also let the people around them to live better, and then have the spare capacity to benefit the rest of society. 5. book knowledge and experience can be useful to use for their own use, do not fit to learn to abandon. I hope that red rain's reply can help you, thank you for your question.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I've read a lot of books and heard a lot of stories, but I still can't live my life and I'm still anxious. I think most people will have the same feelings and experiences as you. If you just stay at the level of reading books and not taking action. Then reading it passes, and it passes. For some of the truth of the book, but also just at that time a kind of realization, but if you do not go to personally to practice, is not in their own body to play a role and effect. It is like having an apple in front of us, which we know is an apple by reading a book. If we never pick up the apple, feel its weight, and then take a bite and taste it, then our understanding of the apple is only what we read in the book. We don't really understand what an apple is, and we don't have a complete knowledge and experience of apples in our mind. If you really want to understand what an apple is, you need to pick it up, look at it carefully, and finally take a bite out of it with your mouth to taste it before you know what an apple is. The same applies to the theoretical knowledge we learn from books. If we never apply what we learn to our lives, if we don't put it into practice, then it won't work. This is the reason why it is easy to know and difficult to do. There are many things we know, but it is difficult to do because we have formed our own inherent habits, and it is indeed a difficult process to change and make changes. But if we want to make a change with all our heart and consciousness, and really practice it, then we will definitely grow and gain, only the growth and change is very small, sometimes we are not easy to realize, but please believe that qualitative change and happen, the premise must be the accumulation of quantity. Let's take action!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject. I've read a lot of books and listened to a lot of stories, but I'm still anxious and unable to live a good life I've read so many books and still no change. Feel like I am still the same person. So wondering why is that? I guess the subject read those books are not really absorbed, only play a superficial role. Surface understanding. And not a deep understanding. There should be no real shaking up of your original wrong perception. There is no real reception and understanding, no real realization. Then you're still stuck in that original wrong perception. Without real understanding, then all the books and stories are just scratching your own itch. It feels good after you've scratched it. And then the next time it tickles. It's when a problem arises and you feel that the problem is still a problem. The tangle is still a tangle, and it doesn't make you really aware. Awareness. If you want to uproot that impenetrable belief. It takes more than just slow experience and realization. One level, one level up. A slow process. Sometimes there are many aspects. If you don't reach a certain climate. You won't be able to comprehend it. Once the time is right, if you happen to see the book that was made for you, it will really affect how you feel. And then it will affect your behavior, when that obsession in your head is really pried and removed. It really changes your actions and behaviors. That's the real impact. The real metamorphosis. That's what really changes your life. Really live this life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 499
       },
       {
        "question": "Following on from the previous question description (cold or emotionally sane?)",
        "description": "6. Parents emotional and sister education issues, I have to intervene, but I do not think it can not make decisions on their behalf, so usually choose the way is to give them all the analysis to speak out, solutions or ideas to provide a few, but every time I think I feel very tired, the result is that basically not be listened to, they just want to be upset when someone to listen to the idea of their own, my mother said that the emotional problems where it is so reasonable? I don't understand, I just think there is a conflict, there is a problem, sad for a while will be fine, only to come up with a solution is to reduce the pain at all. There are many other things, I always used to analyze rationally, study and work are okay, but in the interpersonal and emotional such a way but there are problems. Until yesterday, my roommate said that I am too rational emotionally, many things just casually ask, even if others answered, I will not be assured, otherwise it will not be so quickly forgotten, I think this evaluation is still gentle, like this description, that I should be \"heartless\" \"emotional apathy \"But every time I watch a movie (especially friendship and affection), listen to the national anthem to see the rise of the country I will be touched, hear a song to see a sentence sometimes will be very touching, so that I am also emotionally rich, but this is not contradictory to the previous description? I don't understand myself, and I don't know if this is normal.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, friends, housemates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject I personally think that your situation, can not be regarded as cold, perhaps as you say \"heartless\" \"emotional coldness\", I think, at most, may be regarded as more sensible, rationalization it. For example, you mentioned the parents emotional and sister education problems, your approach is to help them analyze the problem, give advice, which is a very rational way to solve the problem. Because at least you still cared about them and didn't ignore them, so it can't be considered heartless. Our attention, energy, memory, etc., are often limited, so we tend to focus only on those things we want to pay attention to, while for other things, we may ignore, not deliberately to remember. For example, one of my coworkers, she cares a lot about her coworkers, which coworkers have what relationship with each other, what has happened, and so on, she knows everything. She also knows who owns most of her coworkers' cars, and can remember a lot of license plates. And I just the opposite, for these things I do not care, occasionally overheard, may also quickly forget, license plate is almost do not remember a few people. It's not that I'm heartless, or that she's affectionate, it's just that we don't have the same focus. So, I think, you are the same. It's not that you don't care about the people around you, it's just that there are some things that you don't feel like you have to care about as much, and you're better at analyzing things rationally than trying to put more emotion into them, and your focus, probably, is on other things above all else. If you don't see anything wrong with that yourself, and everyone around you is used to it, then it's okay to continue to be that way. Psychology has a defense mechanism called \"rationalization\", to avoid investing too much emotion, so will behave very sensible, very rational, perhaps, your behavior belongs to this category of defense mechanism. You don't want to owe favors, you need AA for meals, you don't want to get too emotionally entangled with people, and you want to maintain your emotional independence: you don't owe others, and you don't seem to need others. However, deep relationships are often emotionally invested, paying for others' feelings and energy, and allowing others to pay for themselves, so that the relationship can go deeper. If you wish to maintain deep relationships with some people, it may be necessary to invest more emotionally as appropriate, and not be afraid to owe others. Otherwise, the other person may always feel distant from you and will feel unable to go inside you. For example, in a relationship with your boyfriend, he sends you gifts because he wants you to be happy, and if you send them back every time, he may feel lost and may feel rejected. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20634
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it wrong to change direction immediately after chasing but not winning a girl and chasing another?",
        "description": "Freshman year just started, fell in love with a girl chased for a few weeks found personality incompatibility and gave up, changed targets. Is it considered scum, making a mistake? I just want to fall in love, it's a pain in the ass.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Singles, Relationship Management, Good Feelings",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmates, you have a question is not considered a slag, make a mistake? Maybe other people have evaluated your behavior, you were such an inexplicable evaluation of some aggrieved or confused, and feel that they have not done anything wrong, why others will be so evaluated themselves, what do you have to do to both satisfy their own needs and not to be such a malicious evaluation by others. First of all, when you care about what other people think of you, it means you have a moral claim on your self, and assuming you really are scummy, I don't think you're going to agonize over it. So let's look at why others might say that about you. You say that you liked a girl, chased her for a few weeks and realized that you didn't have the right personality and gave up and changed your target. It can be understood that at that time you think you like the girl but in fact the girl is not yet a very good understanding of the situation decided to chase girls want to go out with each other, chasing the chase found that the personality is not suitable to give up, chasing other people. That is to say, you have not thought about what the situation is ready to chase a girl, chase a girl means. It feels like playing with a toy to start feeling like, play and play do not like to change other toys. But for the girl you are pursuing, she will think you have already thought about dating her, in the process of you chasing her will also consider your relationship or more or less some feelings for you, you suddenly found that the character is not suitable and change the goal, for you have chased the girl a little bit of feeling played. You see you chase a few weeks and then change the target, shows that you do not think well what kind of suitable for themselves and then go to action. It feels like you went for it when you were excited and gave up when you weren't. It's also hard to build a more stable, long-lasting intimate relationship when you don't address this issue.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1716
       },
       {
        "question": "What's it like to be born in the age of faces but have a square face?",
        "description": "People were not good-looking, parents are the Association of Appearance, my mother always seems to see me seem to always think I have defects, how to see how not good-looking, a meeting asked me to dress up, although every time I meet with her in fact, I've been dedicated to meditation to buy new clothes to put on, why is it that she is always to give other people a deep sense of frustration, how to refuse to let go of me? In fact, she did not see how much model, in my eyes low burst, but I never thought she felt good about herself to wear their own happy on the good, I never forced her to be what it must be like, why is she so vain, forcing me to become the white swan in her eyes, but I would have been the ugly duckling, it is impossible to turn into a white swan, and even a normal duck is not counted, why the blow to me is never stingy, and the most important thing is that I have to be able to get the best out of my life. Incredibly tired of her hate her: don't blame me, when I was small, you didn't treat me well, my birth seems to be your appendage, as you love how to spread.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "A more comfortable state is that it's up to me what I wear, whether I want to put on makeup or not, and the fact that I'm surrounded by people, I dress up or don't dress up as I see fit. It sounds like you have a little bit of insecurity about how you look, but it seems to be okay. Well, you're doing fine! When you describe what your mom demands of you, it seems to me that I see a million of these moms, treating their kids with blowback and denial, maybe they didn't have a good enough life once, so they are inwardly insecure, even inferior, but when confronted with us kids who look weaker than they do, they seem incredibly confident that they are right, and that they are right, because they've had more salt than we've ever walked on. They are right because they have eaten more salt than we have traveled. Because we are children, they are safe in their eyes, and they can capriciously fulfill their little psychological needs by hitting and denying us. But remember, don't be fooled, that's her need, not yours, you can hit back, let's say, I think I'm fine the way I am. [Self-appreciation and self-satisfaction] You can also look at her and laugh it off. Of course you can also directly express your needs or feelings: I was already not confident in my own appearance, you say so let me more back to not confident, I hope you later ...... My own experience is that direct expression will work better, I do not have to correct her, but I said what I want to say, I do not need to be aggrieved and repress themselves, only the heart is not aggrieved, you will be more and more smooth expression. One of the things I always say to my mom is: can you praise me? She laughs: I can't, I won't. And then in everyday life, she remains the same, no matter how good you are, she can pick out the things that are not right if you are with her, no matter how small. But, notice what I but after that, I know she loves me, she finds ways to help me when I'm in trouble, and she shows all kinds of worry sometimes when she's blowing me off. So, I see it, I receive it, she is a mom who loves me, only, she can't talk, she can't express it. When we see that their so-called confident strikes against us are actually meant to fulfill their inner powerlessness and helplessness, are we not so angry anymore, because their purpose is not to strike us, so we see it, we see it from a distance, we don't need to do anything. In fact, there will be many such people in our society, and their real purpose will still be to fulfill their inner needs, only sometimes we will be hurt. When we get hit, it's as if someone else has taken a knife and stabbed themselves, and we are in pain, and then we often pull the knife out and stab ourselves again, as if we are angry, blaming ourselves, feeling guilty, attacking ourselves, etc. after we have been hurt. Increasing our awareness, learning to see the motives behind other people's behavior, and stopping to take other people's self-satisfaction as an injury to ourselves, will make us calmer. We can't change what we take from our parents, so let's be open to it. It would be nice to learn some makeup and dress up, to be able to cope with different occasions and to boost our confidence in self dressing, even if we can spend a little bit of money to specialize in this. Appreciate your own beauty from time to time, and you will find that you will really become more and more beautiful. The so-called appearance is born from the heart is this truth, a person's calm, open-minded can not be hidden, through your appearance, voice, behavior can be transmitted out. We don't have to be beautiful, but we can be very calm and peaceful inside.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, after learning about your situation, I would like to give you a sentence first: beauty is a gift from God, it is the rarest and most precious gift. If we are fortunate enough to have it, we should be grateful; if we don't have it, we should thank others for the pleasure they give us by having it. Problem: The parents are from the Society of Appearance, especially the mother, who is particularly critical of the owner's appearance, and even after careful grooming cannot satisfy her. 2. The mother will always give the owner a sense of frustration, and will always force her own children to look like what they should look like. 3. The mother herself is not dressed up in a way that would be pleasing to the eye, but she keeps pressurizing her children to look like what I want them to look like. 4. Suggestion: Don't be disturbed by outsiders and believe that you are the best. Confidence in your \"appearance\" is so important, and you may have been living under the criticism of your parents' dissatisfaction with your appearance for a long time, making you feel like you're not even an ugly duckling. But I really hope that the owner of the building as the white swan, after all, only you are confident enough, one day, the ugly duckling may really become a white swan. Things change, give yourself a dose of \"self-confidence\" medicine, I believe that my appearance is not worse than others, this is not narcissism, but your starting point to the white swan. 2. appearance is only skin, temperament is the soul. The good-looking face, but also can not withstand the years of refinement, and the only carved in the bones of the temperament, is the unchanging beauty. So, how to improve their own temperament? With my personal experience: insist on reading at least half an hour a day, after reading must summarize the thinking; adhere to the movement, for me, running is always the best way to vent emotions, gradually, you will take the movement as a kind of enjoyment rather than torment.3. The world, never treats the people who really have the strength. It is said that if you have a good-looking appearance, you will be more popular, and you will naturally have a better relationship with people. But appearance is appearance, in the good-looking people, see long time, but also so. It's true what they say, \"A good-looking skin is always the same, but an interesting soul is one in a million.\" Only when you really have the ability and strength, you will receive more people's respect. Constant effort is always the panacea for self-redemption. Common Encouragement~.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 17391
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it uncomfortable to hear he's getting married even though we've been broken up for a few years and there's no contact?",
        "description": "My ex is my elementary school classmate although we did not talk for a long time but we are serious about the breakup is actually quite sudden at that time I was extremely painful after I also looked for a teacher to help me salvage but the process found that a lot of his problems are indeed inappropriate and I can not accept it, so I am not willing to stick with it even if the teacher who helped salvage the teacher at that time is very sure that he has me in his heart and usually take the initiative to come to me to chat, but I also decided to give up and delete his contact information. I also decided to give up and deleted his contact information after about half a year I saw a friend circle posted by a classmate and learned that he got married I quietly added back to his circle of friends his circle of friends did not send any news related to the wedding I learned that on the first day I do not have any feeling continue to work and live a normal life.... But the second day the third day I was a bit unable to hold on to the brain surfaced a lot of images of me and him feel particularly inexplicable is quite difficult but not sad I would like to think that because I'm not married to jealousy upset it may be a little bit of it, but the ingredients are not too much I am very sensible and prudent on the marriage of no suitable prefer to stay single I hope that the gods can help me to find a way out of the world to stop this meaningless thoughts!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotional Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ very understand your feelings, hug you ~ heard the news of his marriage, the heart a little uncomfortable, this is a relatively normal thing. This uncomfortable inside is certainly contains jealousy ah, or upset, there may also be some surprise, some regret, some unwillingness. In psychology, there is a concept of \"unfinished business\", which refers to the fact that because these emotions are not fully experienced in the perceptual field, they linger in the subconscious mind and are brought into real life unconsciously, thus preventing effective contact between oneself and others. It may be because you gave a lot during that relationship you had, you were very attentive, and the end result? It didn't come together. So when you think about it, although you have rationally accepted that you can already live a normal life, your subconscious mind will still feel some pity and regret. For a moment, you'll think how good it would have been if you'd gotten together in the end, or how good it would have been if you hadn't had that relationship at the time. If we hadn't met, why would we have lost? It is not a very unusual thing for this loss to occur. Give yourself some time to simply say goodbye to that past experience again. You can do something ritualistic for yourself. Like going to a movie very seriously and forgetting all those previous things. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Maybe the questioner is a more delicate and sensitive mind, encounter problems will consider more, such a person has the characteristics of rumination thinking, a thing may be forgotten by others in a while, but you are still thinking over and over again. When you encounter such a problem, I think you can first ask yourself, what is the significance of this matter to you? What impact does it have on you? Is it still possible for you to get back together with this ex? Since the other person is already married, you already know that it is impossible to get back together with him, so it does not make any sense for you to think about it over and over again. If the other person was interested in you, he wouldn't have married someone else in half a year. Since it doesn't make sense then moveon, centering your attention on your family and friends who are in close contact with you and really care about you will help help ease your discomfort. In this case if you know that you have such a trait, a delicate mind, then you have to stay away from people or things that tend to cause you discomfort, and what does going through the other person's circle of friends do other than bring back memories and make you feel bad? Why do you want to see it when you know you're going to feel bad? There are some hard feelings that you don't have to experience. From now on you can delete this person or block each other's circle of friends, then you will not see the circle of thoughts. You are prudent and sensible about marriage, feel unsuitable would rather single is very correct thinking, then continue to uphold this idea, focus on themselves, so that you can attract a truly suitable for you, rather than always go around the other side of the needs of the turn. Everyone has something in the past, but we can choose not to be affected by the past, if this thing does not have any meaning to themselves, then go to do some of their favorite things to distract themselves, and close friends to meet, travel, reading, learning, etc., do some of the things that really nourish you, so that you feel happy, will help you out of the mood Oh.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, I also see the acuity of your awareness and the courage to admit it. First of all, you have recognized your inner discomfort and admitted it, which is a valuable honesty with yourself. Next, let's go one step further and look at what the \"discomfort\" is. Is it a regret, is it unwillingness, is it jealousy, is it aggression, is it not letting go? ...... When we can clarify this \"discomfort\", we can better dissolve it. Secondly, give yourself time and space to allow this feeling to exist, this is the process of acceptance. Because you have taken each other seriously in this relationship, there will be regrets, resentment, aggression. Because you broke up with each other so abruptly and did not say goodbye properly, give yourself time to finish saying goodbye to the relationship at this moment. Finally, try to let go of it again and shift your focus to the people around you and life above~ I hope you can easily get on and sail away later~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In fact, the real love of a person does not necessarily have to get him, have him, as long as he is happy, and why go again almost who gave him. Besides, since he has decided to get married, it proves that he has found his happiness, why don't you face the reality and bless him forever? In fact, each has his own happiness, just belong to your happiness has not yet come. The owner is very concerned about each other, belonging to the kind of knife mouth and tofu heart, have the time and do not cherish, lost only to regret. But no matter how to salvage? The past is the past, you can not go back to the beginning, he has already had his home choice. Even if you have been together in the past, but also do not guarantee that each other will not be separated, then you did not feel his concern, even if there is a teacher next to mention you, you did not take him seriously. Maybe he is feeling that he can not find opportunities and topics with you, tried a variety of ways to wake up your heart but in the beginning you are still indifferent, and even scolded him annoyed, so that his enthusiasm and confidence to be hit. Yes, he fulfilled you, silently left, because he cares about you, feel that he will delay you around you since the owner of his black, he can not find a reason to continue to accompany you feelings can not return to the beginning, it would be better to get together and part with each other to fulfill each other, and he does not want to hurt you, because he really cares about you. Honestly, let nature take its course will be better, you again and he kept in touch, may let him produce secondary injury will certainly give him now family life will bring trouble not only back to the original relationship, may make him more embarrassed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ the face of the ex-boyfriend's marriage, your mind began to ruminate and his former all kinds of, this is because, you to him, the heart always have a kind of unfinished regrets. When you were separated from your heart is reluctant, is very unable to let go, you also feel that he has you in his heart, so now see him get married, you subconsciously have this idea: if we did not break up in the first place, now what will happen? However, everything has gone, and can not go back, so you should do is: give yourself a let go of the past ceremony. You can go and do something to make a fresh start, get clearer about the reality around you, and make yourself realize that there are no ifs in life. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
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        ],
        "questionID": 6347
       },
       {
        "question": "Senior girl, can't concentrate on her studies, irritable and insomnia, always thinking of other things.",
        "description": "When I was in the second half of the first semester of my sophomore year of high school, I was very serious every day, I worked very hard, I studied without any distractions, and I thought about the problems when I walked on the road, and I lived a very simple and happy life. Then in the second semester of my sophomore year, my good friend and I were in a group, her grades were worse than mine, but she always answered questions loudly in class, just as if she was afraid that the whole class didn't know that she knew how to do this problem, I was very annoyed, and I thought to myself, \"She knows it all, what about me? Is it that she understands 80%, and I only understand 50% of it, is to compare, and then is always thinking, do the problem is also, do a problem, I think, she will not do it? Has she done it all? And I'm still stuck. Just keep thinking about these things, which causes me to be unable to concentrate on my homework and listen to the class at all, and then I get very irritated, and then I feel like I can't study well at all, and what about my senior year in the future, and what about the college entrance exams. What about the future Now that I'm in my senior year of high school, we're not in the same group anymore, but we've switched places and still sit very close to each other, and as soon as I think of her sitting around me, I just can't be still, and when I force myself not to think about it, the more I go on thinking about it, which leads to a very Ben not being able to do his homework or listen to his classes.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear sister, sophomore year of high school is an important stage of the influx of pressure from the college entrance examination, you may become very hard because of the pressure of study you often feel that you can not control yourself, but in your heart is very much want to finish your studies seriously. As a sister, I hope you can combine labor and leisure. I know it may be a little difficult to do so. The best thing you can do when you're under pressure is to release it instead of digesting it. I hope my humble opinion can help you. It's normal to compare grades with your best friends. You don't have to feel bad about yourself, you shouldn't be like this, forcing yourself to suppress your thoughts and so on. Comparisons between good friends should be about making progress together and motivating each other. If you really can't accept your good friend's way of studying, you can communicate with her appropriately, don't keep it in your heart, you should fight against the college entrance examination together. Relax your own mind, learning is the more important thing for you at the moment, then you will try to do a good job on it. I hope your pressure can be turned into your motivation, and I wish you good luck in advance. The world is beautiful, I will always be far away for your blessings.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Lou Lou, see the words, hello there! Hug you Lou Lou such a situation I have also had, even I almost lost a friend who is very important to me because of this mentality. I don't know why, we often compare ourselves with those around us, and the more friends we have, the more we want to compare them, but this mentality can make us feel very entangled and complicated. I was in junior high school and I have a good friend is a class, before we are not the same table, I think that may also be better. But undeniably, during that period of time, I would always silently compare myself to her in my mind, and that mentality made me sad. At that time, she often got the first place in the class, while I was often the second place, and I was even often told by others that I was the second of the millennium, which gradually began to agitate my psyche. Later, we were divided into the experimental class, and also became the same table. The same table was simply a fuse that exposed everything, she did papers very fast, she usually usually played, however, learning was still not that good. At that time, I felt that compared with her, I was particularly bad, doing the problem I can not help but sneak a look at where she did it, the test I will think this question she is not out ...... such a mentality let me once and for all to look down on their own, but also with her a big fight, and finally also no longer the same table. Lou Lou, I'm still friends with her now, and a particularly good friend. After middle school, I have wondered why I became that way. I think it's these reasons below, and Lou Lou can see if she's the same way. She has something I don't have Why do we compare ourselves to our friends in this way? Because friends we will be in contact with more, we will know them better, and that's when we will be more likely to compare with them to see if I am better than her. And in the comparison, we will find that she has some places she does better than us, and she does well in places that we want, then we will have a great sense of difference in our hearts, this difference makes us ignore our original advantages, only see the other side of the advantages. Parents often compare us to our best friends, and this comparison has a subtle influence on us. Even though we don't like the comparison, we want to tell our parents that we can do better, so we unconsciously make the comparison in our own mind. All we see in high school and middle school is a small circle of students, a small class, and very few friends. We don't want to share, we are afraid that others will surpass us, and we will infinitely magnify the things that others show that are better than us, without realizing that we also have things that they don't have. Everyone is good at something is different, maybe Lou Lou's friends more extroverted some like to express their own views, and Lou Lou tends to be more introverted, but this does not mean that Lou Lou has no advantages. Lou Lou to find their own advantages ah, here to give Lou Lou some advice: vision back to their own Lou Lou put more focus on the friends, which in turn affects their own learning. Why don't you shift your focus from your friends to yourself, take a look at your own strengths, learn to find and develop your own strengths, and thus build a sense of self-confidence. Face up to your own shortcomingsEvery one of us is not perfect, we all have shortcomings. Maybe the building does not like to express their views as loudly as friends, then the building can face up to the shortcomings, but facing up to is not the same as to use it to punish themselves, the building can learn from friends, little by little to learn to express themselves. If you really do not like, then you can also do yourself ah, introversion is not a bad thing oh, it allows us to think more. Compare ourselves with others, we are really competing with ourselves, not others. We may encounter many competitors, but these competitors are not always in competition with us, the real competition with us is our own. Therefore, the building should be compared to themselves, should return to themselves, put into doing things, try to make themselves to do things well. Good friendship should be mutual progress, not stingy to praise friends, do not look down on themselves, both sides together to learn, together to make progress, complement each other's strengths and weaknesses, this is the best! Finally, I wish the building all the best ah! I hope my point of view is useful to you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I used to study very hard in the first semester of my sophomore year of high school, and I had a very simple and happy life. Then a change occurred after a group with a good friend. Her grades were worse than yours, but she always answered questions loudly in class, and you felt annoyed that she answered more positively than you, even though her grades were worse than yours. From this you wondered about yourself and developed a mindset of comparing yourself to the other person. Creating a comparative mindset is an emotion that many of us have. Especially those who have similarities with us. When I was a child, most of the \"good kids\" that my parents used to compare their children with were in the same class or in the same neighborhood. Similar families, similar school environments. And she is your best friend, there must be similarities. Seeing the description, it was in the second semester of your sophomore year that this trouble arose, and in the first semester of your sophomore year, I presume you were in the same class as well? Once upon a time, the size of her voice in answering questions in class should not have become louder since she was transferred to the same group, so the reason for the annoyance that arose from the process of transferring to the same group as you before and after the transfer away from you did not produce changes in her, but you, lies in whose body? Upon realizing whose cause it is, it becomes self-evident who to change. I'm sure you understand this and now want to change so that you don't want to. However, you need to be told a secret, the more you make yourself not want to, the more you maintain the state you want to be in. Think back to when you didn't want to let yourself think, what methods did you use? A method did not work to change to B method, B method does not work to use C method, changed many methods, but the problem remains unchanged. Just like insomnia, tried exercise does not work, changed to melatonin, melatonin do not want to use meditation and relaxation, etc., changed a variety of methods is still insomnia. Most people have experienced insomnia at one time or another, we all know that a day of sleeplessness is no big deal, but when insomnia becomes a problem that needs to be dealt with, it reinforces the behavior of insomnia. On the contrary, when insomnia the next day is still insomnia, then let yourself do something, read a book, do a little the next day's work, if a sleepy to the end of the day have not slept, he will still insomnia? Likewise, if you really can't help but think about what she's doing, try to think carefully and see. If you are thinking [Is she done? If you're wondering [is she done?], then the result is one of two things: A, done. B, not done. Next, you are invited to continue to think, A, what is the effect on you if you are done? If you wanted to be faster than her, what could you do to increase your speed, and B, what would be the effect on you if you didn't finish? If you were faster than her, what would be faster? \"Comparison is a normal reaction, but it depends on your attitude towards comparison. Do you want to make yourself feel bad by comparing yourself? Do you want to make yourself feel bad by comparing yourself, or do you want to know yourself better by comparing yourself? I'm sure you've already given your answer. Bless you Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner of the Hello ~ very understand your feelings can be called friends of the classmates, is a person's study life is more familiar with the people around them, whether in the eyes of others or in their own eyes, such friends are more likely to be in the unconscious to be compared. I have also had similar thoughts, learning is originally competitive, I also can not help but take themselves with others, with friends to compare, if they fall behind, they will panic, will want to catch up and thus disorganize their original pace. In the end, it is the \"sense of competition\" that is at work. Adler said, \"If you want to live together in harmony, you must treat each other as equals.\" The reason why the owner is afraid of lagging behind his friends is that we have always considered human relationships from the perspective of competition, and regarded the progress of others as \"my failure\", so we can not be happy for the achievements of others, and it is even difficult to make friends with each other. And once liberated from the \"competition\" circle, you can get rid of the \"may lose\" competitive mentality, view each other as equals, and not be led by the nose by the competition. Being the master of the emotion of \"competition\", you can definitely da! I understand that this society's \"comparison system\" makes us always in the \"comparison\", always want to be the better person. First of all, I want to make sure that the owner will have a sense of competition because it is very motivated! This is a very admirable quality. I know it's hard not to compare, but if you think about it, what we really want to do is to be better than what we were before. You can compare yourself, but you have to compare yourself to yourself; if you are better today than you will be tomorrow, you will be one step closer to success! Don't pay too much attention to other people's behavior and ignore your own heart's real idea of the pursuit of Oh ~ suitable for their own is the most important, their own learning pace should be set by themselves. Moreover, the owner said that his friend's grades are worse than yours, so why not give yourself some confidence that you will always be good at it? Those days when your mind is free of distractions and you walk around thinking about problems and focusing on yourself are great! I hope this helps.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, everyone wants to be the best version of themselves, but along the way we sometimes bring troubles by betting too much attention on other people, these are normal and we can learn a lot from this troubles and become better again one day. Next try my method to see if it can help you to slow down the annoyance in the moment. Whether it's when we're having a \"She's got it all figured out, what about me? Does she get 80% of it and I only get 50% of it,\" and so on or if we have some of those agitated emotions, if we see those thoughts and emotions as the enemy, always wanting to kill them, always wanting to say don't think about them, always blaming ourselves, \"Why am I still thinking about this? If we see these thoughts and emotions as the enemy, always wanting to kill them, always wanting to say no, always blaming ourselves for \"why am I still thinking about this\" and so on, then they may appear more frequently and powerfully in your present moment, which is just like when someone tells you, \"don't think about a big white bear\", and a big white bear appears in your brain immediately, which is known as the white bear effect, what should we do then? Acceptance. How to accept? Here's how. Accept our thoughts. When we have all kinds of thoughts that make us irritable, close your eyes and try to imagine a stream you like, yourself in a safe place in the stream, the stream is calm and clear, imagine that there will be trees on both sides of the stream, and in the fall, the leaves from the upper reaches of the stream will float down, all kinds of colors, all kinds of shapes, and slowly pass by in front of you, and then look at your own thoughts in your head, and take the thoughts one by one and put them on the leaves that float by and let them go away. Then look at the thoughts in your head and take them out one by one and put them on the floating leaves and let them be taken away until the thoughts you don't like in your head are taken away. Usually the thoughts are accepted and the emotions are eased, but if they still feel emotional, we have to come to emotional acceptance. Emotional acceptance lies in reading them, because emotions are usually messengers, they are always trying to tell you what to ignore, so when there is irritability and anxiety, it is good to feel where in your body is the strongest? When you find it, go talk to them to see what they are trying to tell you. Then tell them you got the message they sent and thank them for worrying about you. Of course often it's not that easy to talk to them, maybe when you find them in a part of your body, you can cover that part with your own hand and imagine that it's a healing hand, it could be an angel's, a doctor's, a mom's or dad's, or the hand of someone you think is important enough to take you to a place of healing, and imagine that it's healing that part of you with a kind of power until it feels more comfortable. it feels better. For the part of your friend about the sounds she might make, I think you can think about what your favorite sounds are, or some of the sounds that make you funny and relaxed, and you can bring her sounds and behaviors into that, and replace them with some form of what you like, and she won't be so annoying anymore. For example, if you like some anime, you can replace her voice with the language of a character or character in the anime, it may be a beautiful goat, or Minnie, or a character in a skit, free to play. You can try it, hope it helps.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the description of your topic, it seems that the owner was in a good state of learning, very engaged and active. However, this state changed after she was assigned to a group with her best friend. Let's think about what made the change. Was it the good friend who answered the questions out loud, or was it the irritation and comparison that arose in the owner's mind? In fact, whether or not the good friend answered the questions out loud, or how many questions the good friend knew, or whether or not the grades were good, has no effect on our own grades and mastery of knowledge. Our subconscious comparisons cause us to focus too much on others, making it impossible to focus on ourselves, which in turn validates our own doubts about ourselves. My advice: 1. Increase self-confidence. Confidence in the objective sense of how much knowledge you have acquired and how many skills you have gained. It is not gained by comparing ourselves with someone. We can compare ourselves with ourselves, better than yesterday's self, which is endless. Confidence is a skill that needs to be developed subconsciously. When we are more confident, some of the behaviors of others do not bother us so much because we have a clear and accurate understanding of ourselves. 2. Look at the matter from another angle, why are we so concerned about this friend? Is it possible that she has qualities that we like or dislike, and perhaps her state of answering questions out loud is something we wish we could do in our hearts? Can we shift our state to embrace the good in others? Can we also focus on ourselves, recognize our own excellence, and work to make ourselves better?",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10873
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I live my life?",
        "description": "Always feel like you're living a meaningless life? Like I'm living for someone else? How can I live my own life?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Work-Learning, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, first of all, want to hug you, it's hard work for you to have not been living your own life! If you have realized that you have not been living your life, it's time to try and figure out how to live your life. It's time to give yourself a chance to live the life you want to live, to be independent and free. How can you live out yourself? It can be different for everyone, but as long as it is in the direction of what your heart wants. You have the direction to live out yourself, then just try to go forward. The road is under your feet, you can start with your favorite interested hobbies and fun, give yourself an independent space to start, take care of your physical and mental state. If you move forward, there will be a path! Blessings to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9928
       },
       {
        "question": "24 year old guy who feels tired of socializing with anyone and doesn't know what to do?",
        "description": "When I was small, I had many friends, and I was very happy to think less, but then I slowly didn't like to deal with other people, and I felt tired of socializing, and working, and I felt insecure, and I habitually took care of other people's feelings, and I didn't have the ability to trust everyone, and I would think about talking to anyone and talk to them, and I habitually lied, and I would find reasons to lie about things that weren't necessary, and I would feel uncomfortable with other people, and my eyes didn't know how to look at the other person, and I was lonely and didn't know what to do. I don't know how to look at each other, and I don't know what to do when I'm alone, what's wrong with me? I know I shouldn't be like this, but I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Communication, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject is good, when I was a child, I had a lot of friends, but when I grew up, I slowly disliked dealing with others, and I felt tired of socializing, and I was lonely by myself, and I didn't know how to think about the strengths of other people. I don't know what to do. The answer you have written in your description, just you can not believe. [It's fun to think less]. What comes to your mind when you are dealing with others and spending time with coworkers? Suppose there's a work scenario that requires everyone to work together on a project. Colleague A comes up with a great idea that requires the design cooperation of colleague B. So the only people left in the room are colleague C and colleague D. Colleague C is a delicate person and often tends to overthink things. At this time, he was thinking, \"How colleague A ran to find colleague B, he should not also go to find colleague B to listen to see, together to discuss. But he doesn't know anything about design, so running over there doesn't seem to help much. If you know design, it would be good ......\" Colleague D is a very clear positioning of their own people, he saw colleague A ran to find colleague B, mental thought, \"There should be what design ideas, and so they discussed, with them on it. \" Then proceed to do their own thing, design is not their specialty, there is no need to blindly participate. After reading this scenario, the questioner thinks that coworker C and coworker D, which one is more likely to produce tangled unhappy emotions? Hope the answer inspires you Karen!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Change the inner projection will be good, the subject said, feel very tired of socializing, work is also, insecurity, habitually take care of other people's feelings, there is no way to trust everyone, and anyone to talk to will think about it later, habitual lying, sometimes there is no need to find a reason to lie about things, and other people get along with will be uncomfortable, the eyes don't know how to look at each other, and oneself alone and lonely and don't know what to do. What's wrong with me? The subject feels very tired of socializing, it may be that you are very worried about their own lies were pierced, all day long need to think about how to lie, the subject may wish to try a little more honest, what to say, so you do not have to think about the lie, make yourself very tired. The subject doesn't trust others, you lie to yourself and you will think that others will lie to you as well. How you see yourself is what you project outwardly, and how you create the real world at the same time. What is projection? Projection is when we transfer our inner thoughts and feelings to other people and things. If you feel that you are a friendly person, then the world in your eyes will be full of friendliness, and you will positively release your goodwill, thus gaining everyone's love and favor. On the other hand, if you are full of mistrust in your heart, when you get along with other people, you will always be defensive and unable to love them wholeheartedly, and eventually you will find yourself being easily left out by other people and not being treated well, no matter where you go. treated well. So how do we change our inner projections and release our friendliness in a positive way? The habits of our past experiences affect us simply because we have allowed them to dictate our behavior today. We can start by changing the smallest details of our behavior now, by showing kindness to others, by making a kind gesture, or even by simply smiling! The gentler our tone, the more the representative will return the favor.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confidences, deeply understand your pain. To give you a warm hug, here is my analysis:1 \"What is wrong with me?\" This is a lack of self-awareness on your part. Therefore you yourself don't know what's wrong with you. In fact what you are going through is common to most people growing up. Just like a song: the more you grow up, the lonelier you get.2 \"I don't know what to do\" * more do less think, healthy direction * only do not want, everything is wasted * do while thinking, the future is clear * do not want not to do, gradual degradation * do not want to do, a face of confusion You can be on the seat of honor to see which you belong to the following, which you want to be.3 There are hundreds of millions of kinds of people in the world, there are hundreds of millions of kinds of life. There is no saying which life is the right one. What you feel happy about is right, and what you feel miserable about is wrong. This is sufficient. Whatever you want is right, whatever you don't want is not right. Often human suffering comes from wanting to do something and not doing it. If you don't want to be like that, you are like that. So think what you want, do what you do, love what you love. Thank you for your question, and may the good of the world be with you as it is.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Maybe it's because you are thoughtful and sensitive. Looking at other answers, saying \"thinking less makes you happier\" is the solution to your current situation, which has some truth to it. But I understand that, in fact, you think a lot, and taking care of others' feelings and lying has become a habit for you, right? It's not as simple as just \"thinking less,\" is it? Actually, we can change our mindset. You can turn your thoughtfulness and sensitivity into your strengths and gain good interpersonal relationships and support. There is a great example - Wang Junkai. Wang Junkai gained the love and appreciation of many people in the show \"DinnerMate 3\" because of his high emotional intelligence. He is a boy who is around your age and is very sensitive to people and things around him. These traits are demonstrated in his interactions with other guests: he empathizes and consoles the discouraged chef with sincere words; his thoughtfulness and sense of proportion enable him to help Qin Hailu with the tasks without causing any awkwardness as they are of the same gender... These small details make people unable to help but like him. I believe that many times you are not tired, but rather feeling powerless and frustrated, right? You might ask yourself, is it worth it to be considerate and take care of others? I don't want to interact with others because it seems like they don't really like me... I understand. Sometimes, you should be more proactive, more sincere; be less focused on the outcome and have lower expectations. Just like Wang Junkai in the show, his kindness, thoughtfulness, and gentleness make people feel that they come from the heart, from his true character, rather than being passive or for some ulterior motive. Hey, grasp these characteristics that can become your shining points, add sincerity and initiative, lower your expectations, and you will be much happier!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "3 There are billions of people in the world, and there are billions of lives. There is no saying which life is right. What you find pleasurable, that is right, and what you find painful, that is wrong. This is sufficient. Whatever you want is right, whatever you don't want is not right. Often human suffering comes from wanting to do something and not doing it. If you don't want to be like that, you are like that. So think what you want, do what you do, love what you love.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "I think it's hard to give you a clearer answer to this question from what you've confided in me so far, because I think there's too much of a difference between your cheerful personality before and the one you've had since, and I have a hunch that something must have happened to you in this part of your life, so if you trust it, you can come and talk to me about what happened to see if I can give you some rationalized advice!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 15070
       },
       {
        "question": "What can a 30 year old woman do when she feels exhausted from both her career and her family?",
        "description": "The child is in elementary school. Homework to be tutored and cared for. At work, there's a lot of turmoil, the organization is moving, there's a risk of dissolution, and you need to go out early and come back late. I'm physically and mentally exhausted.",
        "keywords": "Career, Midlife Crisis",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I hope my answer can be helpful to you. **At this stage of age, children are young, and as a mother, you will need to put in more effort. In the traditional Chinese society, especially in terms of gender roles, men are responsible for making money while women take care of the family and also work. During the process of a child's growth, especially when they are young, there is a greater demand for mothers. If we could change these gender roles, women may not have to be so exhausted, but it seems difficult. ** Based on your description, you have varying degrees of anxiety about work, family, and children.\u25b2 Let's analyze anxiety first. Anxiety can be divided into six types, each representing a different need. Superego anxiety: caused by superego morals. Castration anxiety: lack of self-confidence as a man, women lack self-confidence as a woman. Object loss anxiety: mom doesn't love me anymore. Object loss anxiety (separation anxiety): when mom leaves while breastfeeding causing separation anxiety, a loss of love. Persecution anxiety: internal invasion of the victim object, such as rabies. Dysintegration anxiety: anxiety about losing a sense of self-existence, unable to find a sense of self-existence, inner emptiness, panic. I feel that I exist but can't find my own feelings.\u25b2 Based on your description, you seem to belong to the second and sixth types, where there is a problem with self-existence.** Currently, what you may need to do or think about is: ## Mentally prepare for the worst-case scenario. ## Consider what you can do if your company were to dissolve. ## If the burden of child-rearing, housework, and work becomes too heavy, you can discuss with your husband to share the responsibilities. ## It is important to have sufficient inner self-confidence to face potential changes in the future....\u03b5 I wish you the best. I am here, and the world loves you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Thirty-year-old women, we discuss the beauty and opportunities of \"Thirty Only\", we pursue the struggle and topics in \"Wave Sister\", but seldom focus on the reality of exhaustion, woe, seldom find love and support from the community, the social requirements of the slightly harsh, and the self-requirements are not willing to compromise, and thus burnt out and fatigue. (But in fact, in a parallel comparison, how can society spare people of other ages?) The owner is not alone in the exhaustion that a 30-year-old mom can't bear. Raising children, raising children at home as a qualified wife and loving mother, go out calm and bold as a workplace elite, no matter which role, do a good job of the role itself is very much in need of training, to do a good job I'm afraid that you need to be three-headed six-armed. How to do? This is probably the most commonly heard cry. Why is it so hard for me? So many things have to do, really too tired ...... would like to have someone to help, would like to have a few less things to let me breathe ...... cognitive theory tells us that what I think, is not necessarily an objective fact, it comes from our attitudes and perceptions. Busyness may be a reality, but exhaustion is indeed psychological, a person's subjective perception. Children and work, is the cause of your exhaustion, then the unringing of the bell, they are the source of the problem, and naturally the method. Since it is the heart tired, then we should find the reason from the feeling. On the one hand, your job may topple at any time, but if you are capable, you don't have to worry too much about the change of your job. If you feel that your job is in danger, doesn't it mean that it's time to improve your ability? On the other hand, children in elementary school, no matter tutoring homework or take care of the living, may make people crazy and frustrated, but the child is also the hope of the future, but also his own master, if the child can learn to think for themselves to complete their homework, learn to master the time, their own dress and pack their bags, the mother is only guidance and assistance, just remind, and no longer be the child of all the behavior of the supervisor, it is not even more exhausting? Tiredness is also a reflection of a certain sense of powerlessness, which mostly comes from not having a better way to face pressure. Learn to cultivate your children's ability to learn and dress and eat on their own, freeing yourself to give back to your children what they should be responsible for; explore and think about your own career path, put more time and energy into increasing your own personal ability and value, and focus on a longer future, returning the risk of change to the organization. Your pressure will become power, exhaustion is no longer, will be the power of struggle. Focus on more controllable, learn to let go properly, leave time and space for yourself, life is everywhere to create. Good luck!",
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        "questionID": 10217
       },
       {
        "question": "Not who I thought I was, not the life I wanted to live, physically and mentally exhausted what to do",
        "description": "I realize very clearly that I can't accept myself, it's a state I hate, but I'm also very tired, I don't have the strength to laugh, I don't have the strength to move, I don't have the energy to change, I used to like to go walking around and hiking, but now I'm tired after walking for a while, physically and mentally, my mood is very low, I cry easily, and I can be easily triggered by things around me, I can't eat well and I can't sleep well, I'm chatting with my brother and friends, they all think I'm just suppressing myself too much, but this kind of stress is just something that they just tell me not to think about. Chatting with my brother and friends, they all think that I am just suppressing myself too much, but this kind of pressure is just a piece of cake for their work, and they just tell me not to think about it too much, but I am really sad, I can't stop thinking about it, and I feel very depressed, and I have been doing a depression assessment before, and the result is moderate depression, so I don't know what to do, and I can't regulate myself!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! When I finished reading your description, you want to ask a certain understanding of the problem, here, also give you a four-dimensional space hug. From your description, you can feel that you have a clearer understanding of yourself, to recognize that now they have some small problems, but also to recognize that now they are a little sick in the heart. But from the latter part of your description, you also confided in the people around you, but they just think that you are too repressed yourself, did not go to analyze the reasons behind the repression, but just hastily said, maybe in your heart feel very repressed things, maybe in their body is not a thing at all. I guess it didn't do much for you either. Then, they also gave you this advice about not thinking about it too much, which had some effect. But we all know those words. It's just that doing it is actually very difficult and you have to take it one step at a time and keep convincing yourself mentally. \ufe0f You also said you were taking a depression test before and it came back as moderate depression. With this objective description, I believe that you, the owner, also have a more comprehensive understanding of yourself. Although the results of this test have a certain role, but also can not be overly important to the results of this test, also can not be overly in their own body labeling. I have also summarized some ways to help you alleviate the current situation. (1) Learn to divert your attention, either to learn a new thing, or to read books, catch up on dramas, or play games. Anyway, just make yourself busy. (2) Don't think too much in your head, reduce the duck power you give yourself, give yourself a little more motivation, try to take the first step and slowly change yourself. (3) When you are under a lot of pressure, learn to release the pressure in some reasonable ways instead of empty thoughts, for example, you can do it by exercising, listening to songs and so on. (4) No matter how you were before, learn to accept yourself and take your time, it takes time. After all, no one is perfect, learn to accept those points where you are not perfect, and then, if you can't completely change the imperfect points, then learn to live with them. (5) Take more than one angle to look at what is happening around you and what is happening to you, and face it with an optimistic mindset. (6) Talk to someone you trust, and most of the people you talk to should be around your age, and they should be the kind of people who are good at listening, why do I still emphasize this point? The reason is that it is really important for us to talk about things, some things can be said, to a certain extent, also represents that we can let go. (7) If conditions allow, go talk to a counselor, I'm sure they will help you answer some of your questions. The world and I love you \ufe0f Good luck.",
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          "answer_text": "Good question, accepting oneself means accepting all of oneself, including the advantages as well as disadvantages that society evaluates. For example, good academic performance is the majority of people in society like, and their own academic performance is not good, blame yourself, blame yourself how can be so bad, moping, this is not to accept their own performance. Accepting yourself, on the other hand, is then accepting that you don't study well, accepting that it's okay to be this way, without dwelling on it or internalizing it. You're tired, you don't have the strength to laugh, you don't have the strength to move, that's where you're at right now, and you can't accept yourself like that, that's a sign of non-acceptance. And acceptance is allowing, you allow your exhaustion, you allow yourself not to laugh, you allow yourself to lie in bed. You see your non-acceptance, but you are not making the acceptance. What makes you think you are not allowed to be tired? That you cannot not laugh? That you must act to change? Does accepting yourself mean not trying. On the contrary, accepting yourself instead means trying harder. We all have the need for self-actualization, the desire to be better. However, in the process of self-actualization, is it all smooth sailing? Look at movies or novels, the main character's road to fame, they will always go through setbacks and failures, there are times when they can't think straight, this time there will be his \"friends\", to accompany him through the dark times. After this dark time, the protagonist's steps become more determined. You may not have the kindly \"friends\" in the drama, but you have yourself, don't you? The \"self\" that you accept is the \"friend\" that accompanies you through the dark times. Cry when you want to cry, rest when you want to rest. It's not too late. If you still need help, find a counselor who can help you and invite them to be there for you. I hope the answers help you Karen!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject. I wonder how you understand not being able to accept yourself? Is it the pursuit of a state of self-compatibility all the time, or is it allowing yourself to be in a state of slackness allowing yourself to not walk in the direction you expect sometimes? Sometimes we make plans, we resolve how many pages we will read every day, how many words we will memorize, how much money we will save in a month, and so on. But there are always some unexpected things, even can not be considered unexpected things, just their own state and will not stable will lead to their own implementation in the process is not too perfect, as you said in the description of your tired, no strength to laugh, no energy to change, is likely to be their own emotions and body to remind themselves to take a break, take a break to set out again is that each of us should be entitled to the right and should have the Freedom ah. Brother and friends chat that what you bear on their work is a drop in the bucket, they may be comforting you, give you to pass positive confidence, however, you are in the state and they are in the state seems to be no comparison, they are tired and happy work, because the work itself is a two-way labor with payback, they are enthusiastic about it because they can get a sense of value from their work, assuming that the anticipation of what they do is useless. If it is expected that what they do is useless, they are still so positive? I think the answer is no. For you, have you tried to keep yourself busy in a different way? Instead of being obligated to accomplish something, willingly devote yourself to a labor or activity, such as a hobby, or if not, try keeping yourself busy in an activity you are passionate about and see if your status changes somehow. This summer, I have also been lazy because of fatigue, beating myself up because of laziness, and feeling a little cranky because of that, but I would attribute that to the weather and pay package adjustments, and once the summer is over, and once the company is back on track with business, those states will get better too, and no matter what, we need to wait it out a little bit, and that will allow us to look at what's going on in us and around us. You are doing a depression assessment, which can certainly give you a signal or a state, but whether depression is real or not needs to be realized by yourself as well as scientifically diagnosed. I hope my answer can help you.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for trusting me and inviting me to answer your question. I read what you wrote and you said \"You can't accept yourself, it's a state you hate, and at the same time you're exhausted.\" What I'm particularly interested in knowing is in which areas in particular you're not accepting yourself, because it's often in certain very important areas that we develop a lack of acceptance of ourselves, and these areas have led you to believe that you're in a state of wholesale lack of acceptance of yourself, and that's a misnomer, and so I'd like to particularly invite you first to take a look at the places in which you're allowing yourself to begin to dislike yourself, to hate yourself, and only by bringing these things into clarity can we look at the places that you're not accepting yourself, that you hate yourself. Only by clarifying these things can we see if it's an area that needs to be changed and adjusted, and if through our clarification you realize that the areas of non-acceptance aren't really that horrible or bad at all, then what's the point of trying to change and hate ourselves? Right?",
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          "answer_text": "Imagining yourself is good, just think about it. There is a gap between imagination and reality, and you need to accept that. You are physically and mentally exhausted because you are not good enough in real life, and you feel frustrated and powerless because you are not as good as you imagined yourself to be. Personally, I think you need to live a good life, focus more on real life, and accept that you are not good enough. Find friends to talk to, socialize more, and see what people out there are doing for a living. Those who are worse off than you are working so hard, what are you worried about. Go for it.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 15478
       },
       {
        "question": "Love a guy a lot, but recently broke up, so I probably won't make it through it, right?",
        "description": "Loved and adored a guy, but recently broke up, so tired, his eyes are closed, I may not be able to get through it, it feels or doesn't make much sense.",
        "keywords": "Love, love lost",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Kisses and hugs to you first. I feel your helplessness and powerlessness from the words you cut short. To be honest, emotional problems really have to ask your own heart, the outside world genuinely can not provide much help however standing in my point of view, I want to say to you, you still have friends, parents, loved ones love you, so nothing is worth giving up on yourself oh. You must know that you are worthy of being loved and you will meet someone better in the future. No matter what your breakup was because of. Your inner pain is from the reluctance, or unwillingness, or other kinds of, you have to figure out. Only by figuring out the cause of your inner struggle of not letting go can you heal well oh. Although time can heal everything, but still need you to drum up the courage to face. We're all here to support you! We are all around to support you. You can, come on.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello, hug you, I hope to give you a touch of comfort, from your description I feel that you like the boy, but you broke up because of a total of reasons, you are now very painful, all of a sudden lost the direction of life. Two sheep here to give you some small suggestions ha! 1. painfully cry a since it is difficult, then painfully cry a, to your reluctance, grief, loss ...... and so on are cathartic. 2. move up do not stay at home alone, go out and walk or sports sports, or shopping, eat delicious, in short, go out. 3. Think about the people who are important to you I think that in addition to this boy, there should be very important people in your heart, think about them, see you like this they will be very sad. For them you have to pull yourself together, you can tell them face to face about their recent encounters, perhaps they will allow you to regain strength. 4. Sing your favorite songs, sing loudly, sing until you are tired, perhaps people will have a different perception of life. 5. Write a letter to the future of their own imagine their own future good life, that is a scene, perhaps you and your husband, children, Maybe you are walking on the beach with your husband, children, parents, with a smile on your face, or maybe it's some other picture. Imagine what you are like at that time, perhaps you will put down after thinking about it. 6. the boys out to talk about it again can not be, you will be the boys out to talk about it, to see if it can still be salvaged? If you can't, you'll have no regrets. You two can only say that you're destined for each other. You will certainly meet a more suitable, now this relationship as a good memory to cherish it! The above is my answer, I hope it can help you!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "A true love, to put it bluntly, is wisdom and sentiment, and the love-hate relationship in life is just the protagonist's lack of cultivation. The love that is spoken of has no comparative level, no more love. Because love is the highest level. All the problems, because of love, are not hard, not aggrieved. To feel aggrieved, to feel hard work, that is not love, it is just exchange. I have always believed that whether I love you or not is my business, whether you love me or not is your business. Not because you love me, I love you, also not because, you do not love me, and affect I love you. Love, is just a fill-in-the-blank question. There is no exchange or choice. What you're suffering from is loving and not being able to. Right. I think we should leave this to time. There's an element of time called fate. Just let it happen and love as much as you can.",
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        "questionID": 7450
       },
       {
        "question": "Why am I always the one who gets ignored?",
        "description": "When I'm with more than two friends, I always accept and compromise, and when there's a conflict over time or something, I'm always the one who gets left out the most, and I don't know how to change the situation, maybe I don't have the ability to shine or the looks, or maybe I've just never been that important to other people.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Friends, Colleagues",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "An easy-going personality is a sign of generosity, but showing easy-goingness all the time is prone to differences in which one side is strong and the other weak. When there is a difference of opinion, even if you are afraid to express your opinion, you have to show your own point of view. Instead of what friends say is what. This phenomenon is a long time to form, but also mainly with the character.",
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        "questionID": 12148
       },
       {
        "question": "I love both my new love and my old love. I don't know which one to love.",
        "description": "The old love hurt me when I was in love I feel like she gave me the energy I wanted and the new love gives me the energy I want to love now, I don't know which one to choose anymore?",
        "keywords": "Love. Love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Imagine losing someone who is currently too much for you to handle. I'm guessing you'd say an old love. But neither of you is loving enough. You are habitual and secure and dependent on your old love, and you should be considered loving to your new love, but not loving enough to abandon your security. So also not enough love. But if you go back to your old love you will still have another new love. Because if you love the old love, you will not fall in love with someone else.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 1529
       },
       {
        "question": "How can a mother mediate between her children and their father in a marriage relationship?",
        "description": "A father, who obviously loves his daughter, always expresses verbal sarcasm and blows to her. Daughter bought new shoes for him to see, he said don't spend money instead of expressing praise; daughter made good grades, he did not express happiness, but repeatedly emphasized, don't be proud; daughter almost college entrance exams, he meets with chatter, you have to work hard, you have to put up a good fight ...... children to go to school to ask him for money, he went to say don't bring a lot of money to school, not safe, blah blah blah daughter firmly want money, he had to give. It's not safe, blah blah blah daughter was adamant about the money, he had to give it. The whole process, the daughter feels full of anger and aggression.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Growing Up, Child Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In fact, in many families parents like to use suppression to educate their children, of course, this can not be blamed entirely on the parents, because they also came to the same way when they were small, so very often did not feel that there is anything wrong with their behavior. We can first talk to the child's father, even if the subject said these things, the end result is that the father tried to fulfill the child's wishes, but both people are not happy, and even feel that they do not understand each other's good intentions. For example, the child bought new shoes hoping to get the father's praise, but the father blamed the child for spending money recklessly. We can ask each other if wearing new clothes when he was small was not something he wanted to show to the people who loved him most. If he is hit by his elders every time, will he talk about these things with his parents again in the future? There is also the matter of academic performance, in fact, the child's efforts most of the time is to get the parents of the affirmation, when the child test well, we can give the child some rewards, tell her to test well next time to continue, if the child test is not good, we can help the child together to analyze the reasons, in fact, we are also from the children over, many times you can think differently. The last thing is that the child spends money, in fact, we can teach the child how to make money, rather than how to save money, for example, the child study hard, every year to get a scholarship is a way to make money, and let the child to eat buns every day to save money is not desirable, so in terms of money, we can guide the child how to realize their own value. There are many things we need to look outside the box, and there are times when we can talk to our children and listen to their inner thoughts before making a final decision. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to this mom. This is a very common, difficult, and interesting question. Answer it, it's challenging, I'll try. First of all, congratulations, your daughter is growing up and she is getting ready to transform into a woman. Most people, by birth, are attracted to the opposite sex, so the emotions between mother and son, father and daughter, are always colorful and difficult and twisted. This is a problem for all human beings. Adolescent children, one of the important topics they face is: not only to recognize their own gender physically, but also to form their own gender psychologically, emotionally and culturally. How to become a man, a woman. How to be liked by the opposite sex. How to be loved. What does it taste like to know someone for the first time? What kind of man, woman am I going to be? How to deal with the opposite sex? How to unleash your sex appeal. How to become more competitive. What kind of person is he or she in the eyes of the opposite sex? And so on. These are all problems that everyone has to face before entering adulthood. Handled relatively well, the future life will be relatively smooth. If you don't handle it well, your future marriage, job, and education will all be affected. With the development of the body, the richness of emotions, the energy, the figure of the beautiful, the increase in demand, the boldness of the larger ...... Wait a minute, Dad knows that his daughter is no longer the same Moe Xiao Ke that she once was. Dad is a normal male, facing the various emotional needs of his youthful daughter, his heart will be stirred up. He doesn't dare to approach his daughter as casually as he used to. His heart is full of contradictions, fear, and anxiety. He doesn't know how to face his daughter's emotional demands, eye attraction, and beautiful appearance. He talks about studies, sarcasm, and blowback as a way to keep an emotional distance from his child so that he doesn't go into a panic. He is afraid of experiencing all those other emotions and fantasies that are aroused by a young person of the opposite sex, in addition to the father-daughter bond. Dad's heart may also be bitter, remorseful, and guilty, but there's no help for it. The sarcasm, the blows, the lectures, in addition to venting his own nervousness and fear, are also a way of suppressing his daughter's various emotions, needs, and charms, which is an attempt at returning his daughter to the way she was as a child so that no one has to be nervous. This is when mom is important. On the one hand, mom needs to encourage dad to boldly face his fears. Tell him that a lot of it is just his fantasies and nothing will happen. He doesn't have to be afraid to compliment, praise, or be close to his child, who will only get more beautiful the more he can be complimented. The daughter doesn't really care or pay that much attention to him, she's not that interested in her dad, and everything she does is, basically, just living in her own imaginary world. He doesn't have to feel too bad about it. Daughters who are beautiful, get good grades, etc. are just trying to validate and figure out who they are in the eyes of the opposite sex. On the other hand, encourage your husband to be firm and decent. Don't run away, don't avoid. Fathers should treat their daughters with warmth, gentleness, patience, appreciation, and encouragement. You may jostle and play, but do not lose decency. There must be no male or female affection. Don't do anything that you shouldn't joke about, say anything that you shouldn't say, enter a room that you shouldn't enter, ask anything that you shouldn't ask. A gentleman should respect his wife and learn to push some of his daughter's requests on her. Dads can tell their daughters that you need to go and get your mom's opinion. The way a father treats his daughter now largely determines the way his future son-in-law treats his daughter. At the same time, the daughter can't kiss him for more than a couple of years, and if she doesn't catch on, she won't even think about it later. Mom, stand up. The principle is: this is my husband, you want to find someone to accompany, yourself later to find a boyfriend to accompany. Dad's opportunity to accompany you is limited, with my permission. Whether in reality or in spirit, mom has to stand between them. No panic, no haste, no anger, let her be the single dog, heel, step aside, play by herself. Can't be the dumping ground. This stage will be a competition between the two women. Mom can't lose or win easily. Mom will be the villain appropriately, and Mr. will be under much less pressure. Mr. will be able to excuse himself: it's your mom who forbids me to play with you, it's not that I don't want to, I'm wronged. Mom must not get angry, attack, or taunt her daughter at will. Be patient and firm. Go ahead and try, teach her how to dress. To look good, without losing her education and decency. Teach her how to become a woman, how to develop inner spiritual strength, with inner beauty, to attract the people she should attract. And also proper sex education, learn to protect yourself. Being a parent is not easy. If you pass these hurdles well, the whole family will have less to worry about. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I see a father who loves his daughter but does not express his love in a more appropriate way. By now, you probably already understand how to communicate with your father. In traditional Chinese culture, it is often difficult to express love directly or it is believed that love doesn't need to be spoken out loud. There's a song that goes, \"Love for you is hard to express.\" I guess your husband might have grown up in a family where it was not easy to express love verbally. So now, he needs to relearn how to express love to his family. As his wife and the mother of his children, you can be a good teacher for him and also set an example by using healthier communication methods with your children to show him how it is done.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20452
       },
       {
        "question": "15 year old girl, who failed her midterm, has been acting like she's already dead lately ......",
        "description": "This midterm score was the worst I've ever gotten, 30-40 points lower than all my previous practice tests. No one consoled me, I did not dare to look at my cell phone and did not take the initiative to contact my classmates and teachers, but I found that no one cared about me either. I could only \"embrace\" myself and admit that it was my own ability that made me feel better. I was barely able to keep it together, but what upset me the most was my family's reaction and the pain I felt. Or maybe it's the reaction of my family and the people and things around me. mm said you won't be sad in less than a week anyway. What's the point what are you going to be. Your classmate got.... Score and how about another classmate who was originally worse than you. I have tried hard (not self-congratulation) three mock exams each time improved each time the grade is the top 60. i do not know why. There has been self harm and planning to die trying to die before. My m also really but she turns a blind eye to it and when I communicate with her she says anyway don't even think about it I can't be that kind of good mom. My m is one of the more conservative thinkers and usually more strict and I really don't know how to communicate with her. I don't really know how to communicate with her because every time I open my heart she doesn't take it seriously, and time and time again the disappointment betrays me and I don't want to talk to her anymore. I try to avoid long conversations because I know it's the only way I won't hate her. I know it's hard for her too. Really.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, I don't know if you're a sister or a brother so I'll refer to you as a young classmate. Listening to your story I think you may be a child who is better to others than to himself. In fact, my sister would like to say that the midterm is just the first hurdle to go through among the many tests in life, and it can't completely determine your future; anyone's future is determined by their own behavior and mindset. You know your mom is very hard, you understand her very well, this you do very well, but you should not also understand yourself, care about yourself. Be confident, be bold, try to believe in yourself from now on, and slowly change from relying on others to relying on yourself. Come on, little student, you have to believe in the power of believing!!!!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13743
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do about my recent state of always feeling tired easily?",
        "description": "Lately life and work situations have often felt exhausting or easy to feel tired. Previously, my job is a single break, looking forward to having a double break. Then a period of time to change the place of work, indeed double off, but the work is often overtime, rest days occasionally also work overtime, overtime to the rest is not good sometimes walk in the road after work to cry. Because often time so, recently I changed jobs, restored the single break not so high frequency overtime. But even so, when I end of the day back home still feel a little tired, do not want to do anything. I calculated that, in addition to commuting to and from work on the road, buy things to the home to do delicious after washing and preparing, leaving themselves time may only be an hour. Sometimes I think of a lot of things, but I don't have the energy to do them. The key thing is that I don't dare to take off work at will if I get sick with a cold again in this state, and I really feel bad about it. I don't know how other people handle their time and manage their state, especially for a long time like this. Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, somatic reactions, therapeutic approaches",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello from the subject of your description, it seems that you do not like to work, work for you, it seems to be just a task, only back from work, belong to their own time, is what you want. However, no matter what the work, will always occupy a considerable part of our life, if we can enjoy the work itself, in fact, will not be so easy to feel tired, and will not always look forward to rest. A psychologist has done a study to find out when people are more likely to feel happy, and he would call the participants from time to time every day, asking them what they were doing at that time, and how they were already feeling at that time. The study was actually surprising, there were most people, in fact, who felt better, more fulfilled and happier when they were working. But why do most of us still want to rest more than work? It may just be an inner thought that work is a task, so we don't quite know how to appreciate and enjoy it. If we can change a concept, enjoy the work itself, not just as a task, as a means to make money, then our work and quality of life, can certainly be improved a lot. Recently, I have been very busy. For the past week, I have been going out every morning and going home only after 10:00 p.m. Physically, it is indeed very hard, but psychologically, I don't feel tired, because I like this work, I think it can bring me great pleasure, and I enjoy the work itself very much. Maybe, you can also try, try to like the work, to enjoy the work. If the job really isn't enjoyable, try going to a job that interests you more. As for what you said, you think about a lot of things but don't have the energy to do them, actually, time is squeezed out. For example, I like to exercise, but I'm too busy to do it, so I'll get up an hour early every day to exercise. I think that exercising can give me a better mental state and a better mood than sleeping. You can try it too, try to squeeze in time between jobs or try to get up early. Maybe you'll be in better spirits if you can squeeze in time to do what you want to do. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi baby~ I've been in your situation on occasion too yet. My current job is also a single day job, with a solid 8 hour workday, I get off at 6:30pm and get home around 7:30pm. Shoveling, feeding, and cleaning up after the cat owners in the house, it's usually a toss and turn until after eight if it's quick, and then it's personal washing and such, conservatively at nine. But that's when you normally get off work and work overtime ~ with my current company, the latest time I've been home is pretty much around ten o'clock. This very tired feeling happened almost frequently last year, and I personally think it was caused by work stress and anxiety. My detoxification method, you can refer to: 1, work time to deal with all the work, and strive to do today's work today. Especially their own responsibilities within the scope of the work content. Never put off today's things to the next day, otherwise things are getting more and more, more backlog, deal with it will be very anxious. There is another situation: is that we will often encounter the leadership of the work of the temporary account, in the way of hierarchical relations have to do, must be explained to the leadership. Take my own situation as an example: \"This work has to be done today, no problem. But I don't have time to write the script on hand today. It may affect the progress of the subsequent shooting,\" clearly informing the leader that you arrange things I can complete, but my own work is destined to be completed, the subsequent impact I also explained. At this time, some leaders will arrange for someone else to do it. In most cases, if you explain the reason clearly, the leader can understand. If the leadership of the matter is not difficult to take up not much time, or can help to deal with it. 2, the piece of work pressure, timely relief is really important. Last year, I was the most exaggerated one is directly collapse, shooting in the scene in front of all the actors, photographers face crying. Although I know it's useless to cry, I still can't control it. Not only did it take up everyone's time, the work still had to go on. When I got home that night, I went out for a run, and while I was running, I thought about everything that had happened in the company today, why I couldn't handle the pressure, and every detail. After that, I took a weekend off and asked my best friend to go for a day trip around the neighborhood: hiking in the mountains. The scenery was beautiful, and I felt healed in that moment. The second week back to work, people are like a new life, the whole person's state is very full. 3, the relationship between coworkers. Where there are people, there must be a jungle, some people like you, some people look at you wrong, it's normal. Small frictions occur from time to time in the work. It really hurts when you have to take things one by one. Every time we have a script meeting, everyone will give their opinion on the script, when I first joined the industry, I just don't accept other people's suggestions, I think my own script is the best, just like my own child, I don't want to accept all the criticisms. I didn't realize my shortcomings until after the film was made. Since then, every time we had a script discussion, there was less resistance. There are still small frictions, but we laugh it off every time, and there is no need to argue about a lot of things.4. What if I don't have time to do what I like? I can tell you very responsibly, there will be time, I will be asked to write scripts every day, the highest record is 6 days to write 51 scripts. I've accomplished goals that I didn't dare to think about last year, but I still have time to write PLOGs for beauty reviews, and all kinds of copy for food scouting. Usually there is still time to read books, write today's headlines and Zhihu. You can use your time to write down what comes to mind in your cell phone's notepad, and then when it's time to actually start writing, you can come up with a complete piece of writing. Lastly, I hope you get out of this state soon. Good luck, and I hope you get out of it soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22014
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I become optimistic when I'm on edge?",
        "description": "No energy, no motivation, how did I become less optimistic, ah ah ah ah",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, give you a warm hug(\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 through your description I understand: (1) the owner feels no strength, no power (2) the owner wants to become optimistic next is my analysis and suggestions, I hope to help the owner: (1) everyone is actually hanging a breath of life, this one breath, that is, our support point. If we compare people to a car, then this breath, is the gasoline for our perpetual motion, and the owner said he has no power, no strength, may not have identified their support point what, need to find. (2) The owner mentioned change, which means that the owner was optimistic before, I wonder when the owner started to realize that he was not optimistic? Suggest the owner to have a careful review of what had happened, maybe you will find out what the influence to the cause is. (3) Finally, if you can't find it, don't be in a hurry, but put down your cell phone, go out for a walk, feel the breath of nature and life, look at the endless stream of streets and people coming and going, maybe you'll have a better idea of what you want. #World and I love you, good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems that you would like to be an optimistic person yourself, but when you encounter setbacks in your life, [you want to face them with a positive and optimistic attitude but realize that you don't have the means to do so], so much so that you are even less motivated to become an optimistic person yourself. So what does an optimistic person look like? Actually, optimistic people have one thing in common: they are pessimistic. Optimistic people can be optimistic because they all see through the essence in human nature and know that there is no way to avoid some things, so they choose to treat them with optimism. Therefore, a truly optimistic person is actually not optimistic in his nature. Sometimes, we want to get rid of the pressure of pessimism, our brain will let us enter a state of looking for rewards, we may appear some not rational enough behavior, for example, will be through the irrational shopping behavior to relieve their stress. But what really relieves one's stress is to increase the mood-improving chemicals in one's brain, such as oxytocin, which when produced by one's brain, slows down one's body's stress and achieves relaxation. So the optimistic person is not really optimistic, except that he chooses to approach life with an optimistic attitude.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10985
       },
       {
        "question": "Involuntarily picking at the skin with my hands and breaking it in several places, what is the cause?",
        "description": "I can't help but snap my hands and break the skin in several places. I don't know what's going on. What's the cause?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sometimes it's inevitable that details are overlooked, but often the details are also the most deadly. I'd like to share with you a little story of mine, and I hope it can bring you a little help. I heard that everyone will get chicken pox once, and I got chicken pox in my first year of high school, can't see the wind, can't eat spicy food, and also have a fever, these are also even so, the most fatal is that the chicken pox is super itchy and wide range, even the head, the corner of the eye will have, and I can't help but scratching, and the ultimate price is that the corner of the eye has left a scar. Until now every time I put on makeup, I will also take care of the traces left behind, sometimes figure a moment of pain, but then have to spend more time to pay the bill, so what to do about this situation? First, establish a sense of crisis. Whether it is a boy or a girl, do not want to face is not good, after all, still want to see people ~ so must instill a concept of their own, can not feel free to use their hands to touch the skin, after all, the hand is so powerful, a day in contact with too many things, is not good for the skin, it will make their own become less good-looking. When there is this realization, the situation may be alleviated. Secondly, distraction. In most cases, it is because of the idle, such as I can not write a question, or when I can not help but scratch my head when I catch up with the drama, at this time we can consciously shift their attention, so that their minds are focused on a thing they are interested in, they will not be so want to touch the skin. Finally, remember to maintain. No matter what age, basic maintenance is still needed, just like people need to eat ah, so also let the skin eat and drink enough, so it will not make trouble ah. With love and words, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject. Involuntary skin picking. When the child is very young, there are many organs related to the mother contact, and environmental contact. Master Foo believed that: the child is born first of all with the oral mucosa to experience society, so called mouth desire, that is: with the mouth to obtain some feelings to cover or establish the initial mental impression. For example: the mouth often contains the breast, eat hands ah what, always let the mouth have the feeling of satisfaction, which makes the inner feeling of security and trust. Therefore, the main mental impressions of the child in the first year of life towards the people around him or her are security and trust. In the first year, in addition to the mouth, there is another organ that is very important, that is, the skin. The skin is the largest organ in the human body, and in the first year of life, the skin is frequently touched, stroked, cleaned, etc., so the skin, like the mouth, is the organ that establishes the initial security and trust. Picking at the skin with the hand has broken it in several places. Behavior behind the psychological analysis: \u2460 picking at the skin of the action may be a transitional phenomenon; Winnecott believes that: infants and young children to be able to touch and see their mothers, mothers must be real, small children to the reality of the mother into an imaginary mother in his mind to be rooted down is the need for space, when the child grows to a certain extent, the transitional object to say don't want to don't want to, and now you're still picking at the skin, the skin. It shows that there is a reasonable need behind this behavior. \u2461 The action of picking at the skin contributes to the formation of the mind (thinking) and the maintenance of parental relations, giving yourself a buffer period to distance reality from your heart; \u2462 A habit that develops from infancy in order to protect yourself. Advice to the subject: pick at it, pick at it, disinfect it, put a band-aid on it, and forcibly stopping yourself from doing it may destroy your inner layer of protection and make you prone to separation anxiety, because you have not internalized your mother and can only imagine her. Blessings to the subject.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the owner a hug! It seems that this situation has brought a lot of trouble to the owner's heart, I personally feel that this problem can be understood from two levels, sharing some personal views for the owner's reference. From the level of conscious self, picking the skin can be said to be the needs of the conscious self, \"break the cocoon into a butterfly\", \"broken and then stand up\", means that the owner of the independent consciousness of the awakening of self, want to let themselves start \"new life! \"The old skin is broken, the new skin will grow out. However, such a way is more harmful to the body, and it is suggested that the owner can consider other ways to make himself feel relaxed and happy, such as exercise or study. From the level of the subconscious self, picking at the skin is a kind of aggressive behavior, picking at the skin is a kind of aggressive behavior with obvious damage, which shows that the owner has repressed more anger and aggressiveness deep inside. The subconscious self lacks enough self-confidence and power to release these emotions to the person attacking them, and is unable to turn these emotions to the outside world, so it can only attack itself inward. The most direct way to attack oneself is to attack oneself physically and psychologically, for example, by destroying one's own skin tissue and making oneself painfully uncomfortable inside. At the same time, such behavior is also an expression of the self, through this way to hurt themselves to release emotional stress, to express their inner anxiety and fear of powerlessness and helplessness to others, such as \"I'm afraid, I need help\", want to get other people's trust, understanding, acceptance, recognition, attention and care. The owner can not realize that such behavior can also be said to be the \"isolation\" between the conscious self and the subconscious self, can not be connected, the conscious self to the subconscious self lack of sufficient trust, understanding, acceptance and recognition, such a situation is usually related to the growth experience of the family environment, especially with the relationship between the parents. Although the skin has the ability to heal itself, excessive damage can lead to skin infections and leave scars, thus affecting the owner's normal social work and life, you can consider booking an appointment with a suitable teacher to receive systematic psychological counseling to solve this problem.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, first of all a little hug to you. The habit of involuntarily mouthing my own skin is actually something I have too, but I'm slightly different in that my preferred method is to use my index finger to pick at the area underneath the fingernail cap of my thumb, and make sure to gouge at the skin and tear it off before I feel at ease. And I also have a bad habit of biting the skin of my own mouth until I can finally suck out my own blood. I have this idea about the above habits: 1, bored to find something to do owners have not found that when you have to participate in some extremely boring meetings, even if you usually feel no longer want to play things, in your heart become interesting. And we naturally do not have the guts, so we can only find something not easy to be found to do, for example, buckle their skin, as if this, time has become faster.2, to relieve anxiety. During my time in high school, bleeding fingers and lips were an extremely frequent occurrence. And most of them happened when I was doing problems. I remember the movie \"Youth Pie\" is the class teacher is how to say so: \"can carry to me to carry, can not carry, give me dead carry.\" Huge pressure does have a kind of let a person breathless feeling, so this has become my pressure relief a very effective way, when the skin was torn open the moment, when the blood out of the moment, I do have a little bit of a small excitement. Although this habit has the above reasons, I still want the owner to make an effort to try to change this habit, after all, it is not really good for our body. I would like the owner to draw this thing on the back of your hand with a special little mark, so that when you see it, it will stop your next action. Slowly, you will be able to change this habit too. Finally, I wish the owner a happy day and a good life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the analysis of the talk about Yang:1 the old saying is: warm and full think of lust. And now you are:Warm and full withholding skin. This is the food and clothing, but the spirit is extremely poor. From what leads to an imbalance between the spiritual and the material.2 The world is balanced, half of the sky, half of the earth. Male half, female half. Half yin, half yang. The overall follows the conservation of energy. Similarly, there is an overabundance of matter, and an extreme paucity of spirit. So where does all this extra material energy go? There is nowhere to release it, so it has to be used to buckle the skin. This is the truth of this behavior.3 The skin of the body comes from the parents. Why do you snap your skin? It is actually an invisible rebellion against your parents. It's because your parents are always trying to control you, keeping you too tightly under control, blaming you at every turn. *control = loss of control *control = oppression *oppression = rebellionYou are breaking your skin by snapping your skin, which is an invisible rebellion against your parents' control over you. At the same time you are controlling yourself from snapping your skin, and the more you control the more you tend to lose control. In the end, you continue to resist withholding your skin and therefore your skin is gouged in several places. Thank you for your question and may the good in the world be with you as it should be.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject. I've had a similar problem with unconscious skin picking. I watched a lot of blackhead cleaning videos on a pink website, and at first I clicked on them for the sake of curiosity, but gradually the feeling of nausea became less strong and I felt a little bit relieved. So I started noticing if I had blackheads on my nose, and if I did, I made sure to get rid of them, even indulging in the satisfaction of squeezing out the plugs. But when I looked in the mirror and found my skin not only did not become clean but also red, pores are also larger, sometimes too much force will also leave a wound on the nose, I was very alarmed and apprehensive, although I read a lot of skincare knowledge clearly know that squeezing the blackheads of the skin has a hundred harm and no benefit, but I just can not control their own hands, as long as you see their skin on the skin with a small point can not help but go to the get, and over time the skin is getting worse and worse, the mood is also more and more depressing. I think you probably haven't gotten to this point yet. I think you probably have not reached the level of \"know that you should not do, but just can not control themselves, and even while holding self-blame, frustration, while picking their own face\", should be unconsciously picking the face, leaving a few small wounds, this situation does not last long, then to change this behavior is actually not so difficult. It is not that difficult to change this behavior. First of all, you have to tell yourself that it's no big deal, it's just a temporary wound and an accidental behavior, the skin will heal, and you can control your restless little hands by paying more attention. Secondly, try to make sure your hands are far away from your face, don't prop up your chin or touch your face. If you are unconsciously picking at your face while reading, writing, or watching TV, then you can find something else to do to divert your attention. Simply put, don't try to leave your hands empty, a small stuffed animal or holding your hands in one another's hands is a good way to minimize the likelihood of the action occurring. Finally, you can ask someone you trust (such as a partner, parent, or friend) to help you by telling them to remind themselves whenever they see their hand on their face, and interrupt the face-picking behavior through outside supervision. Finally, if picking your face has caused you a lot of distress or serious consequences and has been going on for a short period of time (six months or more), it may be time to seek further professional help. I'm working on my bad habit of picking blackheads, and it's already making a difference, so let's work together!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there... First of all, can I ask you a question about your skin? Do you have pimples on your face? Are you in puberty? Hee hee ~ according to my life observation it, buckle skin, usually face skin condition is not good, long closed mouth pimples and so on, feel uncomfortable face, subconsciously go to buckle. The subject also said that it has been broken in several places, here we recommend that you do not buckle ha ~ because our hands will have bacteria, there are wounds on the skin, if infected, or not very good drops, especially on the face. If you are a skin problem, you can give you the following suggestions: 1. morning and evening wash your face, do a good job of skin cleansing morning and evening to wash your face with face wash, the recent hot weather, the general skin oil will be more serious, so morning and evening to wash your face to grease, once a week to do skin cleansing, clean up pore garbage. 2. do a good job of hydrating the skin care this is really a first-hand experience, a period of time ago, home every day do not go out every day after the face wash water and milk, but also a bit of a good job. What is also not coated, but also a little late at night, the results of a face of acne, every day can not help but want to buckle, but buckle time is also afraid to leave acne marks, and then wash your face, wash your face after applying a water cream, and now the face of the pimples has gone down half of the ......3. Early to bed and early to rise 4. Want to buckle when the distraction, the right hand left and right to play rock-paper-scissors Scissors ...... Well answer finished ~ I hope to help you ~.",
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          "answer_text": "Liu Feng's analysis: this means that the hand subliminally says to you, \"Master, I need to do something, I need to labor, I need to work, I can't be idle because if I am idle I will pick at my skin, master, if you just keep me busy I won't pick at my skin, if you keep me idle I will keep buckling my skin because I want to talk to you and I want to do something, I need to labor, I need to work.\" The solution is: just go do something, labor, and work.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 15184
       },
       {
        "question": "Some small conflicts in interpersonal relationships, at the time to tolerate, but later in the heart can not let go?",
        "description": "In life, I have encountered some minor conflicts, such as being stepped on by someone, being cut in line, having someone's juice spilled on me, and so on. Generally I would choose to tolerate at that time, do not make a sound or say it's fine. But after a long time, I can't let go of it, my heart is still full of anger, and I have been repeatedly torn between what I should do, and I also imagine the quarrels that will happen after the conflict with other people, which makes me anxious, but also tell myself to be generous and not to quarrel with other people, so I think about it again and again and again, and it's painful.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Conflicts",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your current confusion, I can see that you are a sensitive person, when you encounter some conflicts, you will always stand in the other people's point of view and interpersonal relations to think, you don't want to make interpersonal relations affected because of some small things, this kind of considerations and thoughts are worthy of affirmation. However, at the moment, this kind of thinking makes you have a lot of confusion, because you feel the anger that arises within yourself, but you use your own reason to repress this anger, and you can't find the right way to deal with these emotions, so these negative emotions have been fermenting and spreading inside, so that you have been stuck in the emotional quagmire. How should we recognize and look at this psychological state of our own? In reality, how should I help myself to regulate it? From your question, I can see that you are always able to \"tolerate\" small conflicts in your life, but this \"tolerance\" does not seem to be a real letting go, but only at the level of mind consciousness, letting go of your emotions. Emotions. I don't know if you've noticed? Behind this kind of behavior may be hidden some of your inherent beliefs. For example, you believe that you should be an amiable person, or that you should be a generous and tolerant person, and so on. These personas that you give yourself seem perfect and laudable, though it also means that you put a shackle on yourself. This is like a star halo, as a star, in the enjoyment of everyone's worship at the same time, but also to bear the pressure and responsibility brought by the star halo, your words and deeds, every move will be subject to a high degree of attention, therefore, we can learn that many stars are actually reflecting a common problem is: psychological pressure is too large. And your way of thinking, it is very likely that the initiative to put a halo, but you do not enjoy the benefits of the halo, only to bear the pressure of the halo, because after all, this halo is their own self-persona imagined in the mind. If the previous assumption is not the internal cause of your current situation, then we can also consider whether you have excessive guilt experiences in interpersonal relationships. Imagine that in the face of a conflict between you and another person, you want to express your dissatisfaction, you want to lash out at the other person, you even want to rant and rave, but there is a voice in your head that says, \"You are doing it wrong, anger is an unexpressed emotion, it's extremely wrong! As a result, you end up choosing to hold back, choosing to suppress your feelings of anger. This voice is the inner root of what makes you feel difficult and confused; it feels guilt and remorse, it feels self-doubt. So where does this inner voice come from? This is an area we need to think about and be aware of. Perhaps it may have come from your family of origin, or from teachers or other authority figures who have influenced you a great deal since childhood. They have planted a steel seal in your heart, so that when you encounter such scenarios later in life, you will always be restrained by this voice, like an invisible \"spell\" on your head. Being aware of and discovering this inner voice or belief is a key step in helping yourself out of the confusion. Whether to choose \"generous\" patience or \"narrow-minded\" calculating] It seems that at the level of social morality, we will call for generosity, patience, and not to be calculating, and there is nothing wrong with the propagation of such virtues. However, from a psychological point of view, our so-called \"generosity\" does not mean to suppress oneself and give up expression, but contains a deeper wisdom, which is a kind of life manifestation of the ancient people's open-mindedness and cheerfulness. In other words, it is not that \"generosity\" itself is wrong, but because as young people, their wisdom and state of mind have not yet reached a certain level, and their understanding of this word is greatly deviated. To put it simply, we have probably only learned the skin of the matter (the outward expression) without really understanding its inner meaning. I think those ancient sages expressed generosity in a way that was truly a letting go from the inside out, an inner connotation that doesn't even require saying to yourself internally, \"Be generous.\" Rather, this emotion of anger simply does not arise in relationships. Therefore, as a young person whose mental intelligence is still growing, it is important to express yourself authentically. When you encounter these kinds of problems in relationships, you should care more about your inner feelings and emotions, rather than choosing to suppress, or even ignore, the fact that anger is normal and natural. [Does expressing emotions mean that you are indulging in a \"no holds barred\" approach? Of course, we are wary of the conflict that our true expression will bring. There is an old saying that \"no fight, no acquaintance\", which has a certain psychological basis, because when two people express their true selves, in fact, it is also a kind of deep communication, even if this form seems to be a more violent and extreme approach. But in this process, it is the real collision of two people, compared to cover up, people prefer to get along with the real people. Those who can really do \"generosity\", is also true to express themselves, because they really do not produce anger from these things, so they express, but still to maintain their internal feelings and external behavior of the same. Does the expression of emotions mean that one must \"get into a fight\"? In fact, this kind of behavior is a good state of mind to pursue truthfulness, but in reality, it may still bring us some other harms, such as physical injuries, and school sanctions and so on. Therefore, we still need to find a more balanced approach, and that approach is positive communication and communication. [Learning to communicate positively is both an important way to fulfill the expression of one's inner emotions and to ease relationships] There is a book called \"Positive Communication\" that is recommended here about the skills of positive communication, and here I will focus on some key points. The significance of positive communication lies in the fact that you can satisfy the expression and disclosure of your negative emotions, and at the same time resolve interpersonal conflicts in a correct and reasonable way. The main thing you need to do in positive communication is to be quick to recognize your negative emotions and to deal with them quickly. For example, when you are angry, you should quickly take the \"five minutes to calm down method\", so that you can ease the anger just when the outburst period. Don't communicate with your emotions. When your negative emotions have been alleviated, you can communicate with two people, do not bring emotions into the conversation, which will only escalate the conflict. Be alert to your own value assessment. Watch your language, tone of voice, etc. to prevent value evaluations and even life attacks. Keep a neutral and objective presentation of the facts. In communication, just express what you see and hear and your inner feelings objectively. For example, in the small matter in your question, we can say, \"Classmate, excuse me, just now you accidentally stepped on my foot when you were eating, maybe you didn't realize it at that time, but this behavior of yours still made me feel angry inside, and now I'd like to tell you about this matter.\" Lastly, I want to emphasize that if what is described above does not happen by accident, but is repeatedly done to you by one person, it may have involved school harassment or even school violence, a situation that should be promptly communicated to parents and teachers for help. I hope the above responses will help you.",
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          "answer_text": "\"Psychological internal conflict\" is probably one of the things that most affects the quality of our lives. In your question, I see a very deep internal conflict. Simply put, your internal conflict comes from the conflict between your inner \"Self\" and \"Superego\", or in other words, your \"Ego\" is unable to balance the conflict between your Self and Superego, and therefore The feeling of pain arises. We all know that the superego comes from the moral plane, which is closely related to some social rules and judgmental rules. The ego, on the other hand, comes from your real needs. Therefore, to resolve this conflict, we can start from this perspective, and see what can be dealt with. 1. Listen: the voice of judgment within your heart What does your \"superego\" come from? I think it comes from your inner voice called \"self-judgment\". I noticed that you mentioned the word \"generosity\" in your question - this is actually a judgment. In your mind, you probably have a judgmental standard: if you show that you are uncomfortable with a minor conflict with someone, it means that you are a \"calculating\" and \"petty\" person. Therefore, in order to appear \"generous\", most of the time, you will \"tolerate\", \"do not say or say nothing\". So, behind your behavior, you are actually fulfilling a psychological need, which is \"you want to be a generous person\". Identify this judgmental voice, we can work on it. 2, identify: the fear in the heart of the question comes, why do you need to become a generous person? What will happen to you if you don't become one? Behind this self-requirement may lie a deep fear. For example, if I am not a generous person, I will be punished, including being criticized by my parents, isolated from others, etc. Therefore, this self-requirement may be an effective means to fight against \"being rejected\" or \"broken relationships\". In your subconscious, there is probably a voice that says, \"If I don't do something, it will be done. ..... This fear is the root cause of your current behavior. 3. Seeing: The Foundation of Self-Healing Many emotions and feelings are healed once they are seen. When you feel anxious, can you see your own repression? Can you see the fear behind your repression? Do you see your true anger and aggression? If you see them, maybe you feel better about yourself. Seeing your repressed emotions and recognizing that they are real is the first step to getting out of the rut. Beyond that, you need to see another hidden feeling: the feeling of victimization. Simply put, why do you \"mind\" being spilled juice, cut in line, or stepped on so much? It's likely that there's a sense of victimization involved in being \"offended\". First of all, all of these things happened out of your expectation, so for you, it hurts your narcissism to have it happen. Secondly, although most of these people do not do it on purpose, if you feel very intense emotions, it is probably because in your subconscious mind, you default to the idea that they are \"on purpose\" and \"hostile\" to you. This way of thinking is derived from the self-centered \"victim mindset\", which may be deeply hidden, but if you are deeply aware, you may be able to find their clues. 4, change: from the acceptance of their own emotions and try to truly express the beginning of the aforementioned to see their own emotions, is the beginning of acceptance of themselves. The root of your internal conflict and conflict comes from a lack of acceptance of your emotional feelings and behavior. However, contained within this non-acceptance are many irrational perceptions, such as that if you express your emotions authentically, you will be hurt by others. Perhaps this irrational belief came from an implantation earlier in your life, but can we link to the real world and see if this belief actually happens? (Verify your imagination in reality) You can try using the Authentic Expression Technique to say what you really feel without accusation, e.g. I feel a little uncomfortable when you get juice on me. You can see for yourself if you will actually be told you are petty if you express yourself authentically? Or break off a relationship with you because they think you're petty? Maybe you'd be greeted with an apology. Of course, perhaps not. But the purpose of your expression is just to be true to yourself, not to demand that the other person has to apologize, and if you can see it that way, maybe you'll be less bothered about what attitude the other person has. The prerequisite for authentic expression is to be true to your feelings. And this expression technique is often effective for emotionally repressed people. All it takes is for you to let go a little of your own judgment of yourself, and your fear of judgment from others, and give it a try. Blessings. I'm [Tang Sugar with Dreams], a dynamically oriented National Level 2 Counselor, a contracted author on multiple platforms, and a lifelong grower dedicated to the dissemination of psychological knowledge. If you have any psychological confusion, welcome to private message me in the background.",
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          "answer_text": "Hi, you have to see that you actively chose to treat the specific scenario (your own legitimate interests were violated) in a stoic way, which is good for you, at least you have the impression in other people's minds that you are more gentle, tolerant, considerate, and good-tempered, and all these qualities can be the key to make a person get goodwill and popularity, and at the same time, letting the things go according to the situation that you can control, and your reaction to guide Others respond to you in this way (calmly), which gives you a satisfying sense of control, certainty, and security. For the other person, your reaction alleviates his inner fear and makes him feel more understood, sympathetic, and forgiving. He will feel deeply sorry, guilty, and remorseful towards you. So, every emotional reaction in the moment is an expression of your own inner true needs, and it is adapted to the situation at that moment. When you see that your emotional response in the moment brings benefits to you and others, you will be able to better understand and accept whether your emotional response is justified and whether you want to avoid blaming yourself too much afterward, dwelling on it and suffering from it. There is a saying in psychology that:What others do to you, they have been taught by you. Therefore, you need to be aware of the priority of the matter and the degree of interest in their own interests and selectively make concessions. That is, the state of harmony is good for you and good for everyone, rather than your unprincipled, unconditional in their legitimate interests are infringed upon in the case of still submit yourself, suppress their anger, dissatisfaction, to maintain a momentary calm, to obtain their own in the hearts of others in the good impression, the cost of this is too great, it makes your body and mind in want, consumed, and in the long run will be caught in the vicious circle of inner holocaust. So, for the infringement of your legitimate rights and interests of the behavior, how to make appropriate and reasonable response?1, gently but firmly say no. Do not accuse, do not criticize, do not deny, just express his behavior on your true feelings and experience is what. (Your words and actions make me feel hurt and I feel uncomfortable, please stop what you are saying and doing.) 2, learn some social skills. 3, you can start with a small thing that you have an argument with a friend, bravely express your views and position. 4, develop self-confidence, improve self-esteem and self-love. Accept your real flawed self and try to develop your strengths and avoid your weaknesses.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello: This is about interpersonal conflict and the [internal conflict] of whether or not to tolerate. Life is always a lot of \"small things\", seemingly small, but more on the degree of distress is no less than the impact of a large event. Many times we will persuade ourselves to be patient, do not care, as if if the expression is petty, but these [repression] backlog for a long time people are very easy to collapse. Analyze and understand the problem: 1, in life, encountered some small conflicts, such as being stepped on by others, was inserted into the queue, by others juice sprinkled on the body and so on. (Sounds like a small thing, but it just makes people uncomfortable, why should I be stepped on? Why does someone have to run in front of me? Why should my clothes have to bear the stains of others' carelessness? Because there are always some people who are particularly selfish, they are just casual themselves, but also [affect others] this is not right. It happens to be in your mood is not beautiful when, that is simply [add to the feeling].) 2, generally you will choose then to tolerate, do not make a sound or say it's fine. (Under normal circumstances, once and a half of the time is just, but endure a long time, you sooner or later to burst, instead of this, try to express. If you say that you're making a big deal out of it, then say something like this: \"Can you please pay attention next time?\" \"Please do not cut in line oh\" or if familiar with the people can joke, \"affect your feet landing, sorry\", \"your juice got on me, you have to give me clothes oh! \". If you are really uncomfortable, and it is not good to be too big to do, at least it is necessary to express it. The process of expression is a kind of venting, otherwise you just give hard to hold down, equal to holding a breath in the chest. Then they will be upset all day, of course, even longer.) 3, but after a long time after the incident can not let go, the heart is still full of anger, has been in their own how to do between the repeated entanglement, but also imagine and others after the conflict occurred after the fight, so that the anxiety and told himself to be generous, do not fight with others, repeated thoughts, pain. (Yes, there is anger in my heart, how can I let it go? They have been very disturbed, but also what should not should not, reasonable table or very important, the expression is not necessarily to scold, a joke is also a release, at least let the other side know that you are not comfortable, humor may be the best way to resolve. A person is irritable, but also how to be generous, venting is a must vent, just do not let the emotions escalate on the ok.) Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! Bless you to express yourself correctly soon! There is confusion, can be private letter!",
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          "answer_text": "I see your question. Obviously, my heart is full of anger, but I don't dare to express it, and I want to calm my emotions by telling myself to be tolerant and generous, and not to be calculating, but I find that I can't do so. What really makes our anger, anxiety, fear, timidity and hesitation disappear is action, and action is the best weapon to conquer these negative emotions. Even a little action is countless times better than inaction. Is it because you were criticized by your parents for expressing aggression when you were a child growing up? Whatever the reason, whether we realize it or not, we can change ourselves through direct action. It can be difficult to change at first, so choose to start with something simple, and someone who seems kind. Gently reminding them, \"Eh, you spilled your juice on me\" or something like that, and realizing that someone else is guiltily apologizing and not fighting with you, will break down your habitual imagination and fears, and new experiences will replace your past ones, and change will become easier and easier after that. As long as you yourself don't confront the other person with anger, foul language, etc., they won't get into a fight with you either. If you still have difficulties, you can go and express yourself with a friend by your side. Maybe you have experienced some unpleasant things in the past, which gave you too deep feelings, so you dare not express them. But there are all kinds of people in this world, and the vast majority of them are reasonable. It's like when you eat an apple, you are unlucky, the first time you eat a bite of rotten apple but you don't know it, maybe you think that's what the apple tastes like, it's awful. But if you are brave enough to try again and taste the sweetness of a good apple, you realize, \"So apples are so delicious, not every apple is a rotten apple.\" The experience of tasting a good apple naturally breaks down the past experience. When you are brave enough to express yourself once and realize that the other person is also friendly, you will naturally break your past experiences. I look forward to you taking this brave step, I'm slowly changing this way myself, cheers!",
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          "answer_text": "I saw that the subject had grievances and dissatisfaction with himself, and that he minded some things but never expressed them. I guess the subject's mental expression at that time was like this: 1. If I get angry, the other party may also get angry, and the other party may even do it. I don't know how to cope with such a scene.2. If I get angry now, and happen to be seen by my classmates, teachers, or boss, will they have a bad opinion of my character.3. There are so many people around me, and if I get angry at a small thing, it's embarrassing to be watched by so many people, and other people will surely think that I'm a person with no culture. If you are dissatisfied or angry, it is better to let your emotions out. If the anger is not expressed at the time, the anger turns on itself when you get home. The subject went home and sulked, thinking, \"I thought I would show my attitude next time, but I didn't this time. There is a theory in psychology called \"theory of mind\". You know what you are thinking, and you think that the other person knows what you are thinking, and you think that the other person should be thinking the same as you. You know you're angry, but you don't express it, so the other person doesn't know you're angry, so they won't apologize to you. The subject needs to express his anger next time so that others will apologize when they know. We live in a world where we mind what others think, so it's easy to express positive emotions and so hard to express negative ones. The fact that the subject has not been able to express her true emotions may be a question of value judgment, whether to use your own or someone else's value judgment. If you use your own value judgment standard, no matter how others judge you, you will think that you are lovely and worthy of being liked, and when you think this way, you will be brave enough to express your anger. The questioner can think about the following questions: What is your value judgment of yourself? What do you think of yourself after you have expressed negative emotions and attitudes? Do you think of yourself as a person who is not polite, cannot tolerate, and has no sense of humor? What do you think of yourself when you don't express negative emotions? Would you consider yourself a person who is weak and afraid to express yourself? What is your emotional reaction after someone expresses negative emotions and attitudes toward you? A lot of the hard part is the first time. We are sometimes shy and subconsciously get used to looking out for others, worrying that they will be upset and pointing bad emotions at ourselves. You need to realize that your emotions are just as important as anyone else's. The topic can be improved from the following aspects: 1, self-judgment with their own value orientation, not the value orientation of others. 2, the heart and mouth consistent, the heart is angry to express it, do not use \"nothing\", \"it's okay\" to whitewash. 3, to be It is difficult to express negative attitudes, words can not express their own, with non-verbal expression of their own, the expression of mind written on the face, the unhappy conveyed out. 4, to make their own difficult small things to share with their friends, do not think that it is a little bit of a small thing on the enlargement of the. 4, the small emotions and small problems are not the same. Small emotions and small problems are not solved, over time, it is likely to cause a big mental illness.5, the problems and emotions at the time when the solution, not lagging, do not bring home bad emotions and problems. Wish the subject can solve their problems soon.",
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          "answer_text": "After reading the responses of other counselors who responded to you with great care, I wanted to offer a little more perspective as well. #In life there are some minor conflicts like being stepped on by someone, being cut in line, having someone's juice spilled on me, etc. I usually choose to tolerate it at the time and keep quiet or say it's fine. #What concerns me about this description is that you didn't speak up or say it was okay. I don't know what emotions you were feeling at the time, but you were able to accept the situation as it was, and said \"nothing\" or \"it's okay\", so that things could pass calmly at the time. This is your ability to cope with emergencies and to cope better with various situations. #But you can't let go of it for a long time after the incident, your heart is still full of anger, and you keep torn between what you should do and what you should do, and you also imagine the quarrels that will happen after the conflict with other people, which makes you feel anxious and uneasy, and you also tell yourself that you have to be generous, and don't fight with other people, and you keep thinking over it again and again. #Angry, is such an emotion dissatisfaction with the way things have been handled in the past? So the thing that concerns me is when did you start having this way of thinking? What were you going through that would give you this constant going back over? But you did a thinking simulation in your brain, which is a good way to go. Now that you've simulated it you know what happens after an argument put? It could get so loud that it makes you uncomfortable for the rest of the day, or it could escalate into a fight that puts you in the hospital or the other person in the hospital; are these outcomes acceptable to you? Are you willing to try to take on a bigger price for this next friction? In your simulation, you tell yourself to be generous, but you don't seem to mention the part where you \"take\" responsibility; whatever choice you make, you have a price to pay. For example, if you keep quiet or say it's okay, you minimize the cost. If you choose to argue, then the stakes start to rise, if you choose to argue or it escalates to pushing and shoving, or even to a fight, and the police come, and it could affect your job, etc.; then the responsibility you take on is positively correlated to the outcome of your reaction, are you willing to take it on? If you are willing to do that you can do whatever you want without holding back; you can even send the other person flying, right? When you only look at the \"behavior\" or only consider whether or not to suppress your \"emotions\", of course it is very hard, difficult, uncomfortable, and you will think that there are other choices and ways to release yourself. However, you ignore the \"consequences\" of the corresponding behavior! When you think about the consequences of your behavior in the context of a thought simulation, you'll still be #thinking over and over again, in pain. #? Leave a comment or private message if you need to communicate.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Understand your trouble, encountered some small conflicts, at the time all chose to tolerate, but after the heart is still full of anger, always very torn, in the end, what should be done? I share my understanding with you, I hope to inspire you. I used to be a person very similar to you. I always put up with things, and sometimes I was really unhappy, and I even thought I was a bit of a loser, and I was full of denial about myself. I was deeply influenced by \"everything must be harmonious\", always afraid of conflict, subconsciously think that conflict is not good. Why did you not express your discontent at that time? What did you think in your heart? Later on, I read many books and took many courses, and finally made a big change. Mr. Cong Fei from the teacher said: Our culture emphasizes that we are peaceful, do not get angry, be forgiving, and tolerate, but we do not know how unimpeded and physically and mentally beneficial it is to release aggression appropriately! The reluctance to argue with others and the fear of conflict is actually a fear of expressing our aggressiveness. Living out aggression can assert your boundaries and defend your rights. Aggressiveness is daring to raise your voice, to voice your needs, to express them. But we just don't dare sometimes! What to do? My personal experience is to express myself through non-violent communication. For example, if you are stepped on by someone, and they probably apologized, you can say it's okay, but you can also express: my foot really hurts, you should be more careful next time. When you are spilled juice by someone, you can make a request and ask the other person what they want to do to solve the problem. You can say it: I am very unhappy and so on. When we express it, the resentment and anger in our hearts will flow out and not come back to haunt us. Of course, this can take a little practice. When what we think and what we do don't match, inner conflict can easily occur. It's not the thing itself that's bothering you right now, it's the conflicting thoughts inside you. There is a famous ABC theory in psychology: A stands for event; B stands for belief; C stands for reaction. How we react is because of our inner beliefs. This is how many people feel differently when faced with the same thing. Whenever there is conflict, tell yourself: you have a choice. Express your aggressiveness when you don't want to be generous. Aggressiveness is not cursing, it is daring to be yourself. Mr. Cong says: a person who is afraid to live out aggression is doing so for self-protection. There are some benefits to us in not expressing aggression, but when we have suppressed a lot of negative emotions within us, we can learn to understand anger and the thoughts behind our behavior. When we sort through that, we can be much more comfortable. Let's become a little bit stronger inside, and when we are truly strong inside, we are being ourselves no matter how we make our choices. Wanting to fight is being yourself, not bothering to fight is equally being yourself. There is only one principle, do not condemn yourself. I know what kind of person I am, I know what I do right or wrong, good or bad, other people's opinions do not interfere with my opinion of myself at all. Although I still seldom quarrel with others, I am more courageous than before to express my feelings, for example, if I feel violated, I will say so; if I am unhappy, I will say so, and my emotions are no longer suppressed. I recommend \"The Power of Self-Growth\" by Mr. Cong Fei from Mr. Cong to you, and I wish you also find a method that suits you. I hope you will find the right way for yourself and get out of the trouble soon!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Good afternoon, subject! After reading through your question, I do think that some of my previous problems are a bit similar to yours, such as waking up breath and easy anxiety and irritability, with my deepening understanding of psychology and the improvement of my own awareness and regular psychoanalytic counseling as a visitor, these aspects have improved to a certain extent, let's discuss them in a targeted way, I hope to be inspired and helpful! The following is a targeted discussion, in the hope of enlightenment and help. In life, I encountered some small conflicts, such as being stepped on by others, being cut in line, being spilled on by other people's juice, and so on. When these incidents, or small conflicts occur, usually you feel very normal, that is, the ego part of the expression of aggression, unhappy, of course, you need to have a kind of awareness, even if we are good citizens, but also can not guarantee that in our daily life do not encounter these small difficulties, these are unavoidable things, in view of this, the resulting negative emotions how to channel! Or, to put it another way, how our ego regulates the conflict between the ego and superego is one of the things we need to do in the long run. I usually choose to tolerate it at the time, keep quiet or say it's okay. The acquisition of this behavioral pattern may be caused by the way of communication between the family of origin and the parents since childhood, or it may be caused by the strong suppression of the ego by the superego part of the heart due to the education and moral norms later in life. Another possibility is the strong suppression of the ego by the superego part of the body through education and moral norms. Another possibility is the deep influence of a certain person or a certain thought in life, but obviously the subject knows within himself that this is not the way we really feel or want to be. But after a long time after the incident can not let go, the heart is still full of anger, has been in their own how to do repeatedly torn between, but also imagine and other people after the conflict occurred after the fight, make anxiety and told themselves to be generous, do not fight with other people, repeated thoughts, painful. Negative emotions can not be properly discharged for a long time, which naturally creates a kind of accumulation of pressure, and thus explodes in the form of \"anger\", but the expression of that anger is not recognized and appreciated by ourselves, which leads to the vicious circle of the ego and the superego's suppression of the ego even more. What needs to be improved most is the rational release of negative emotions. First of all, first of all, let your own psychological pressure gradually reduce, you usually have any hobby that can make you feel relaxed, you can give yourself some more free time to relax. Meditation or positive thinking methods on the platform are also possibilities to try. If you have a hobby in this area, you can also try to do yoga. At the same time, the next time such as the problem of the first small conflict, we may wish to put this heart of dissatisfaction, through the reasonable language to express, in this regard, we recommend that you go to read the \"nonviolent communication\", at the same time, refer to my home page of the three texts in this regard, I believe, you will be reasonable to release off the negative emotions, and at the same time, will not be because of the self-expression of the disapproval of the tangled and more. Above, good luck, the world and I love you!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 320
       },
       {
        "question": "I've tried to get away from my father as much as I can. How can I get away from his molestation?",
        "description": "I'm 18 years old, and since I was about 14, my dad would kiss me when my mom wasn't around, (forcing the tongue out kind of thing) and touch me. Said something about how everyone does it, I just didn't know, meh, who believes that! But what can I do, my mom and I don't have a particularly good relationship, and my dad is also the head of my family, and my pocket money and everything goes to my dad, so to outsiders it may seem like my dad and I are like normal fathers and daughters, and the family is in harmony and so on but in reality it's not, and I feel really disgusted, and I'm getting more and more disgusted. I've tried to stay away from my father as much as I can, but he's my dad, can I ever worship away in my life? I really want to get rid of it.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, hello hugs to you for being 18, what a wonderful time to have something so upsetting happen to you. What fear and courage you are typing these words with! You can definitely get rid of your dad if you want to. -First of all, you can first collect evidence not to tell your mom about this without proof, (in case your mom doesn't believe you and tells your dad about this in reverse) you can do it through audio recording, or video recording, etc., but be careful, you can secretly experiment once by yourself. Then directly to the audio and video recordings to the local women's protection organizations, police stations, or published in the microblogging, and then @ you can think of all the big V. And then tell your mother (first of all to determine the probability of your mother to stand on your side, if it is small, go directly to look for a person next to the person you trust the most, if there is no trust in the person, then directly directly to go directly to the women's federation over the police station to live) -How to face the How to face the future life? Child, everything that happened is not your fault. You are still pure and beautiful, you can still have a good love in the future, maybe after this matter is exposed, you will be criticized, but do not worry, caring words of love and care for you will always be more than the words of blame you. Only when you are strong within yourself can you save yourself.At 18 years old, you may be at an age where you are going to college or preparing for a job. But no matter what, you are an adult now, with the ability to take responsibility for your own life and be independent. There is no one who can't live without anyone these days, and if you are willing to do what it takes, you will be able to support yourself. [If you are sure that your mother is wise & supportive, then I am sure your mother will be able to take you to escape from your dad, maybe you won't have to publish it to Twitter, but I think it is necessary to call the police and inform the Women's Federation or the local women's protection organization, not only is it responsible for you now, but it is also responsible for your later life and security]. You will definitely be able to get out of this incident and I sincerely hope that everything will be fine for you in the future. Love you, kid!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 19910
       },
       {
        "question": "My parents give me advice, but I feel like it's a request, not my decision?",
        "description": "My father in my childhood temperament uncertainty, my mother has a little strong, they often fight, so I have to observe the words, in case they are angry (they often fight I also do not want them to fight because I come) I am also very obedient, from childhood performance are very good. I don't want them to be unhappy with their classmates, so when dealing with feelings, basically from friends to lovers (especially concerned about the feelings of friends, there is no way to refuse) when my grades in graduate school on the edge of the graduate school my father got me a thesis, I resisted want to choose to teach graduate school, but he said that would be a waste of thesis, and finally defended the thesis defense for an hour (I'm a question answer will be). I was unable to open my mouth to answer the questions), and not many of them passed. After the defense, my mind exploded, and I didn't want to go to graduate school, and he asked me to go abroad, so I got depressed and didn't look for a job, thinking that I couldn't do anything. Recently talked to me that all the decisions are made by myself, they are at most advice, can be from a small I do not listen to them will be angry, but now say that all my own decisions? My classmates also say it's nice to have parents who can help you, but after my dad meddled in my schooling I feel like I can't do anything. How can I adjust my mindset?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, in reading your question, I sense that you have angry feelings. Regarding the development of your probing character, and the conflict about the bailout incident, you have a great deal of resentment towards your parents, especially your dad. But the last sentence of your question, \"How can I adjust my mindset?\" With this sentence it was clear that you felt your emotions retreating again, your momentum going down to self-doubt. So in this one short question, a very strong self-conflict has been exposed. On the one hand, you want to be independent and feel very dissatisfied with your parents' interference; on the other hand, you worry that your parents are right and that it is your own bad heart. As a spectator, I find this state of conflict very difficult to bear. Not to mention you, the person concerned. Hugs to you. Have you ever wondered if you are still compromising your parents as you have been for the past 20+ years if you are not depressed. Depression is just an outburst of conflict manifested. Physical illness is a reminder that a bad habit should be changed. Mental illness is also a reminder that it's time to make a change. I am a baby mama. My favorite book on positive discipline says that the best gift we can give our children is not just to give them security and help them grow. More equally important is to develop a sense of strength and a sense of autonomy. Only when children feel empowered and capable will they be able to adapt better to this society. So I do disagree with your father's approach. But the good thing is that you are a very much your own person, and although in the past you usually suppressed your thoughts, your sense of autonomy is on the verge of being overwhelmed, and this conflict is inevitably hard. But compared to a lifeless \"baby\". The uncertainty and pain of such a collision is the inevitable price of growth, right?",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, read your statement as a person who just stepped into the psychology dare not use professional skills to give you an answer. But I can give you some small suggestions as a person who has been there and a mother role of a child.1.Learn to use the appropriate form to express your attitude and opinion to your parents. -First of all, thank your parents for their good advice choices and help when you need it, because in your description. Your family of origin gave you a lot of love, just not your own \"autonomy\". But we can't say that this kind of love is \"mandatory\", perhaps it can be turned into a more dynamic love that allows you to be brave enough to be yourself. --Then talk to your parents about what you think and why you have made the choice you have made. 2. When your opinion is not the same as your parents', can you make a few points - ask your parents to tell you why they want to help you make the choice you have made because Sometimes we may not be able to see our own a little or not enough. Parents are clearer as a growing companion, and take the opportunity to see what your parents were like when they were growing up. --And also list to your parents your own choices, so that they can understand why you made the choice decisions you did. From there, Ken can show them the you they don't actually know. Perhaps this process they see another you, and re-recognize the acceptance has grown or changed you. 3, through the two sides of the communication in the early stage, to develop the direction and goals of the common association - because through the communication, parents and your choices and direction may be laid in the direction of your future more solid \" Defense front\". From your parents, you can learn about your own hidden and insufficient areas, as well as your parents' ability to provide back-up support. As we communicate with our parents, they can learn about our own intended development. I don't think there are parents who won't support their children's own struggles, and they should be more aware that their children will work harder for what they want. -Communicating with each other will make us recognize ourselves again. Thus, to understand themselves, when they know where the weak time to work hard to sound, if parents in the communication of such issues to reach a consensus, we can get in the family can be corresponding support. This will be more motivated to let us in their own choice of life path when more power and assistance. A few simple points, I don't know if they can help you. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can be yourself and even better yourself in a loving family.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "#I don't want my classmates to get along with me because I don't want them to be unhappy, so when it comes to dealing with relationships, I basically go from friends to lovers (I'm especially concerned about the feelings of my friends, and there's no way to reject them)#From this passage, it seems that you've given up establishing a sense of boundaries in order to avoid conflicts, and then you'll condone your friend or girlfriend's behavior until you can't stand it yourself or the other person can't stand it and ends the relationship. So in turn, you condone your friend's or girlfriend's behavior until you can't take it anymore or the other person can't take it anymore and then end the relationship? Your friend has feelings and emotions because she gets along with you, so if she gets along with you, then there is a conflict, so you assume that you can give in to the other person's emotions when a \"conflict\" arises? So the conflict itself, the familiarity becomes unimportant to you? Whoever you see to be more emotional, you compromise? #Protecting my grades in graduate school on the edge of my dad got me a dissertation, I was very resistant to the choice of teaching to protect graduate school, but he said that would be a waste of the dissertation, and finally defended the dissertation defense of an hour (I'm a reply to the question will be unable to open their mouths), and there are not a few through. After the defense my mind exploded, and after that I didn't want to go to graduate school, and he asked me to go abroad, I got depressed and didn't look for a job, I felt like I couldn't do anything. #From this description, what I see is that you will listen to him because no matter what the result is, he will be able to find another way out for you; then will you question the \"necessity\" of resistance? Because if you don't listen to him and make your own choices, but the outcome is wrong or not as good as you would like it to be, you will have to live with the \"consequences\" of an event that your father may not have given you to live with. Or maybe he didn't even realize that he was taking all your choices away from you because you didn't give feedback or you gave up giving feedback because all your feedback was rejected? But how does he know what he's doing without feedback? #Chatting with me recently about how all decisions are made on my own and they are at best suggestions and can grow up with me getting angry if I don't listen to them and now they say it's all about me making the decisions? #That's half right, so the decisions are indeed yours to make, because they really can't do anything if you don't cooperate. But they probably didn't give you a chance to make the decision because they get angry when you don't listen; they use their emotions to kidnap you into compromising with them. They don't realize it themselves, what they're doing. But the fact that you #I'm depressed and I haven't gone to look for a job, #that means that something is wrong with the way you're dealing with them and you need to get help for yourselves; it's the same as getting sick and getting a doctor. #How do I adjust my mindset? You need to find a counselor to break the pattern of your \"getting along\" and try to find a new pattern of getting along; the pattern of getting along remains unchanged, and you will have to cope with the \"discomfort\" of the pattern in the end, no matter how you adjust it. Adjustment of the mind is in order to let themselves calm, can have a good state to deal with the problem, rather than the solution to the problem, you this thought is off. Need to communicate can leave a message or private message.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Understand what is troubling you. You are a very obedient child, always consider the feelings of others. You wanted to teach and keep graduate school, but you listened to your dad, and as a result, your mind exploded after the defense. Although your parents said advice, now you feel it's all a demand and want to adjust your mindset. I'll share my understanding with you and hope it inspires you. You have grown up in such a family which has had a major impact on your personality. You want to make your own decisions, but you are afraid that your parents will not be satisfied. It's conflicting like that. Such an upbringing is likely to make you less confident as an adult. This is especially true when faced with setbacks. Happily, you have already realized it and actively sought help, and awareness means change. In our young age group, when we are facing the challenge of going to graduate school or going abroad or looking for a job, it is easy to cause self-defeat, even self-doubt and denial, and dissatisfaction with ourselves. This is very normal, when we recognize these, it is conducive to the adjustment of our state of mind. It's just as well that we can take this as an important opportunity to recognize ourselves. Learn to slowly come to terms with your life and stop loving your parents' arrangements. Start with the smallest of choices. Many parents do always want their children to do what they have arranged, but we are now grown up to be ourselves, which is the most important lesson, but at the same time our own responsibilities are also bigger, and we have to learn to be responsible for ourselves. There is no need to rush and don't resist your parents, when we change our thoughts, everything around us changes, just like now it feels like your parents are no longer forcing themselves on you. But we have to restore our own energy, everyone has the power of self-growth, it's just often forgotten by ourselves. Believe in yourself and think about what you want to do and work hard for it, and don't be afraid to fail. If you want to make career choices, you can also use professional psychological assessment to find your own strengths, build on your strengths and avoid your weaknesses, and continue to know yourself and grow! There are many professional assessments on the platform, as well as interpretations by professionals. This is a way to further understand yourself. Lastly, I wish you the best of luck!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello owner, hugs to you, I hope my answer can bring you some help. The owner is a very kind, very filial child, so, since childhood, will take care of mom and dad's feelings, will take their advice very important. I also take my friends' feelings very seriously and take care of them. I think it would be very heart-warming to have a friend like you. But, even though you've been so obedient and considerate of their advice, at the end of the day, the feedback you get from your dad is that you make all the decisions. It's like it has nothing to do with them, and that can make you feel angry and pissed off, right? I especially understand how you feel, and the pain and trouble you are feeling right now. This is the time for you to grow up, because it hurts, so that you can better realize and grow up. To the owner of the following suggestions: 1, embrace your inner child, take care of him. That little you, who has endured so much worry and anxiety, is always looking out for others, but seldom takes care of his own feelings. Please hug him, try to embrace yourself with both hands, feel that little you are embraced by you, the feeling of protection, tell him, no matter what, you will take him with you in the future, will take care of his feelings, will love him, you have always used in.2, accept yourself, affirm yourself. We have to look at ourselves objectively, both to see our own shortcomings and deficiencies, but also to see their own advantages and strengths. When we have a comprehensive understanding of themselves, accept this complete self, accept their own imperfections. When acceptance is truly achieved, you will find that change will begin. Don't put too much weight on other people's evaluations, it is true that when we are three or four to thirteen or fourteen years old, we know ourselves through other people's evaluations, and through your description, we see that this evaluation you received was not too good, but we have to realize that this evaluation, in fact, has to do with our parents' way of upbringing, and that they may be accustomed to evaluating you negatively, and that they thought that it was for the good of you, and so, you internalized that evaluation internalized. And dad meddling in your schooling can make you feel like you don't have a sense of control over your own life, and at your age, your psychological need is to be independent and to go and make decisions for your own life, but dad took that away, and the way you were brought up to be defensive, it made you still be particular about taking care of your dad's feelings, and listening to his advice, and so you didn't go and get that sense of control back. That's where the inner conflict comes in. Anyway, what you need to do now is to accept all this, to dwell on the past is not very useful, the important thing is how to cope with the present and future life.3, handle the boundaries of the relationship with parents, in the balance between independence and dependence. Although our parents are the closest people to us, but they are them, we are us, we ourselves are an independent individual, we have their own needs and ideas, these needs and ideas, will be in conflict with their needs and ideas, at this time, we can respect their advice, understand them, but more importantly, you have to meet your own needs, if your own needs are not met, your negative emotions will come out. I also believe that when you stick to yourself and do what you like to do, and you live a happy, fulfilling and satisfying life, your parents will respect your choice and be happy for you. So accept yourself, know yourself, affirm yourself, love yourself, be yourself, and at the same time, see your own resources, seek help from your social support system when you need it, and be the protagonist of your own life, and you'll have a confident and free life. Cheer up.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, warm hugs to you \ufe0f I feel your conflict and anxiety from the description! Why do your classmates say it's good to have parental help, but you perceive that it's not so good! Why parents obviously began to let listen to, and now say that it is advice, all kinds of choices are their own choice. Without your father's intervention, you wouldn't be in the situation where you are now jobless! First of all, do you think clearly what you want when you were a child you are obedient, feel that you have to be aware of the situation in order to obtain peace of mind, you feel that you are the one who let your parents fight, you are particularly insecure, have been living in the shadow of your parents, in fact, you want to go beyond the heavy circle, and suddenly found that you are used to listening to, whether it is true that your parents have no good for you, this will be bad, to weigh the treatment. Your parents' love for you may feel overwhelming, but it's true that you're a lot happier than a lot of people who don't have caring and supportive parents, and that's a fact. Face it, figure out what you want in the end. Secondly, set your goals, life is your own believe that growing up, none of your parents wanted to try meddling, they may have acted out of love and would have given support and advice! However at this point in your life you have no initiative, you are used to listening to advice and end up choosing what your family wants! To say that it was your father's advice that got you into trouble shows on the other hand that you were not strong enough in your own ideas. Finally, no matter whether the final decision has not lasted, whether you muster the courage to do their own do their own is the need for courage and break through the difficulties, without the help of parents, is very difficult, some people have parents to help start higher than others, such as work, there is no all kinds of contacts, all on their own that to be how hard! I believe you can perceive when looking for a job! Whether or not the success of graduate school, whether or not to go abroad, are temporarily come to an end, reorganize their thoughts, think clearly about how they want to live. Really want to think well, no matter how hard and tired they are willing to endure, choose the wrong and right willing to take on their own, then go to communicate with their father, do their own ideas to tell their parents, have ideas, have goals, can be implemented, can be seen through the efforts of the future, and only in this way, I believe that everything will be more and more good.",
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          "answer_text": "[Leaves reflecting red awareness awakening] parents' advice itself is authoritative, from a young age by the parents under the didacticism of the growing up of us to speak, we are almost impossible to overthrow the parents' advice, and even more unlikely to fight against the parents' instructions, or else will be labeled as disobedient, rebellious, and more parents in the time we issued a different voice will also be added to the sentence [you can not listen to me, all the consequences of your own responsibility] [the next time there is any need to me You need my help next time you also go to solve it yourself] [You think I will harm you] ............ too much of this with a controlling words and deeds constantly rattling correction of those of us who are not in line with the parents' cognitive behavior, just like being loaded into the grinder of the standard version of the ping-pong ball, everything is in the control of the parents, let them feel that they are in the right. It is only when they are in control that they feel valued. & & is it scary to be out of control, whether it's our parents or ourselves? Look back at your text about your parents quarrel you learned to look at the color, learned to look at the color you became a good old man in the eyes of all people, everything to other people's standards to measure their own behavior right or wrong, rather than results-oriented to co-create value, parents all for your good arrangements for the intervention so that you know that you can not take more responsibility and obligation, I do not know if you have a lot of time to feel taken for granted. As you say, if you choose to go to graduate school in your own way, and finally did not get into what you are willing to bear the consequences? You're neither studying nor working, so I'm curious if you stay at home every day? Or have you found something you like to do? && Your problem is that you don't know how to adjust your mindset, in fact, just three words [I'm willing to] from the psychological point of view of our life growth there are three periods of time the first period is in the eyes of our parents the rebellious period, the physiological age of 12 years old or so to start. You chose to cater to your parents to get their love without boundaries. The second period is now you know that the world does not revolve around me, I am willing to pay for my own choices. All our problems are not problems, the key is what problems we give problems, which would you choose, catering to your parents' unhappiness or finding the journey you want in life? You now want to choose what state of life and you choose to come to this world are the same on three words [I am willing to] in your parents have sex, your father's body shot billions of sperm only you far ahead of the champions to become a champion ran to win all of your siblings, came to the world, this is not you want to come to? You now choose what kind of life state also no one can change you, you ask yourself [I am willing to .........] every time when you yourself can not balance your cognition, by the external factors disturbing thoughts, by their own internal emotions continue to suppress when you ask yourself \"I am willing to! ...............\" Remember the focus must be on the results && Psychology has a concept called [cognitive consistency] is to think and do, the human psychological tendency will try to The concept of cognitive consistency in psychology is that the psychological tendency of a person will try to be consistent between what he thinks and what he does. Therefore, to make a plan of action, the plan with the most eye-catching way to remind themselves, and then every day in accordance with this plan to progress a little bit, a little bit is good. Through these actions, give yourself a sense of accomplishment. When these feelings of accomplishment accumulated to a certain extent, in your heart will slowly form a positive cycle of confidence source with this source of confidence, you will be able to get rid of the influence of your parents on you, to establish their own evaluation of their own correct system. Never assume that you can't do it without ever starting to act on it. Allow yourself to live in the what if all the time. Of course if you are willing to live in the if world no one can change your life.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I can understand your confusion from your narration. I can also imagine your worries and confusion in growing up. Let's have a chat! I hope I can give you some help. \"My dad had an uncertain temperament when I was a kid, my mom was a little strong, and they fought a lot so I had to watch my words in case they got angry (and they fought a lot and I didn't want them to fight because of me) I was also very obedient, and behaved very well since I was a kid.\" When parents are having a rough time in their marriage, children think it is their fault that their parents are fighting. Fearing that they have been abandoned, children try to behave well in case their parents fight again. The truth is that how a parent's marriage is going is the parent's business, and it is the parent's business to fix it, not the child's. So it's not your fault if your parents are having a bad time. \"Getting along with your classmates is also about not wanting them to be unhappy, so when dealing with relationships, you basically go from friends to lovers (with a special concern for your friends' feelings, and there is no way to say no to that)\" Parent-child relationships are the foundation of all relationships, which means that how you get along with your parents is how you get along with others, and you get along with others in that same mode. So when you get along with all the people you are close to, you are observant and try your best to please others, and you will always assume that it is your fault that others are unhappy, and therefore, go along with what they want to do in case they are unhappy. A person needs to have a sense of boundaries, to know what is their own business and what is the business of others, only then can they respect themselves and respect others. One can grow in a normal way instead of disturbing one's own growth pattern. \"Bowling for graduate school when my grades on the side of the bowling my dad got me thesis, I was very resistant to want to choose to teach bowling for graduate school, but he said that would be a waste of thesis, and finally defended the thesis defense of an hour (I'm a reply to the question will be unable to open their mouths), and there are not a few through. After the defense my mind exploded and I had no desire to go to graduate school after that, and he told me to go abroad, I got depressed and didn't go looking for a job, thinking I couldn't do anything.\" For the dissertation thing was your own thing, it should be your responsibility, but your father is taking this responsibility for both of you. At the same time your father was expecting you to do what he wanted and wasn't paying attention to your thoughts and feelings. He did not respect you. You would have had your own plans but were not supported. All along you were told not to be yourself, which to you was all about denial and disapproval. Once you couldn't do what you wanted, you denied yourself and thought you couldn't do anything right. Everyone has an overall evaluation system, including self-evaluation and evaluation by others. When you are unable to evaluate yourself correctly, you will develop an inferiority complex and easily fall into a state of depression. The best way to solve such a problem is to be yourself, to do things the way you want to do them, and to realize that it is your own business and you should be responsible for it. No one else has the right to interfere in one's life. \"Recently I was talking to me about how all decisions are made by myself and they are at best advice and can grow up getting angry when I don't listen to them, but now they say it's all about me making my own decisions? My classmates also say it's nice to have parents who can help you, but after my dad meddled in my schooling I feel like I can't do anything.\" When you hear what your father says, you are actually angry and you don't agree with him. Sometimes parents don't realize that what they are doing is wrong. Talk more with your father! Tell your father what you really think and feel inside, including what you think about everything your father has done for you over the years, and what you think and realize about your own life. Let your father see a real you, not just the \"ideal child\" in your father's mind. Also let your father realize the inappropriateness of his approach, and from now on, he can respect your ideas and life. As for the adjustment of your mindset, only when you can truly be yourself, you will experience a sense of self-existence and value, and have a correct judgment of yourself to obtain the energy of self-growth, to find their own control of the confidence of life. These are some of my views, I hope they can help you. The world and I love you and wish you a happy life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Being in the middle of the parents is not a good feeling, and how to do it seems to be wrong, this feeling is even more let a person helpless. In China nowadays, a lot of education easily puts children in the middle of their parents, so that children are not able to accomplish what they should do, and at the same time, they also take the responsibility for their parents which should be taken by their parents. Through carefully reading your description, I can deeply feel that you GT your parents to fulfill their responsibilities, but you can not do what you should do. And such a situation, sometimes through the language to say to others, others simply do not quite understand what is going on, the inner more painful, in fact, you want to do their own thing, but also hope that mom and dad can be happy. But very often when you want to satisfy your mom and dad to be happy and not to make them angry, you lose yourself most of the time and go to satisfy their needs. But your parents didn't mean for things to go this way, they were also genetically conditioned by the previous generation and it was natural for them to raise you this way. Parents always love you, that's for sure, but the way they give you love may not suit you, or you don't like it too much, so we can sometimes accept our parents' love for us, but we don't have to absorb some of their educational patterns. To draw a clear line, parents are parents' business, we don't interfere, they both have conflicts, they have to deal with, that's their business, but if they will say it's because you make them angry, that's just that they just shift a target, you don't take it seriously. And of course you love your parents very much you lose your own sense of boundaries when you share their worries for them and it leads to not doing things well for yourself, so there are times when you need to let go of things. Blessings.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 442
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if my friend is cheeky and no amount of persuasion works?",
        "description": "I didn't do well in one of my physics classes. My aunt is my English teacher and my math teacher is a good friend, so my math teacher especially take care of me, for my physics, she specially go to ask the physics teacher of another class because of the relationship is good to ask her to help my physics answer questions. I went out with XX Cao every time after school, and I told her that my physics grades were more dangerous, so I didn't go with her after school, and that I would ask the teacher to help me with my physics questions. I just started answering questions and she somehow followed me and said she wanted to make up for it with me. Because of this, I was reprimanded by my English teacher's aunt today, and I approached Cao for a chat. I said that it was about this physics Q&A because I'm a relation so I get this special treatment and I was specifically greeted by my math teacher to get this opportunity. Because she talked to herself, so that the math teacher my aunt two face can not hang, other class physics teacher embarrassed to refuse, can go to ask their own class physics teacher. She just didn't want to and said she wouldn't bother me. This matter was originally my 1 to 1 Q&A, because she suddenly intervened in a few teachers face are not good. How can I persuade her to go to her own class physics teacher?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Conflicts",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I've been trying to talk her out of it for a really long time and she just won't listen to me. I feel that I am the ATM in her studies. And everything is not to her liking, before because I did not give her the test to pass the answer everywhere that I am selfish, I think as a friend I give her geography before the college entrance exams to make up two hours of geography every day, review materials to her to this point has been benevolent. She is a very selfish person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20469
       },
       {
        "question": "Will the rebellious period be delayed? Freshman Year Rebellion",
        "description": "I was basically a more introverted child who listened to his parents since he was a child, the rebellious period is also relatively well-behaved, but by the senior year of high school, the first year of college, he began to rebel, and think that parents do not care about what is best, the more I care about the more difficult it will be difficult to throw a tantrum, quarrel!",
        "keywords": "Family, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Instead of rebellion, it is the awakening of the subject's self-awareness, you are no longer the good boy who always listens to his parents, but has his own ideas and opinions. Happens in the senior high school, freshman year of such a period is actually still very normal, the end of adolescence, and almost just adult, personally I think it is not too late, because it has to do with the character, experience, for example, the subject said he is more introverted obedient, then it is not easy to have so much rebelliousness. Many people don't even have this awakening until they have been adults for a long time and have experienced things. The awakening of self-awareness is that we know that we are an independent individual, and not a little baby that mom and dad can protect for the rest of their lives, we gradually have a set of their own understanding of things and solutions, and gradually form their own worldview, you begin to understand yourself more clearly, and want to do some things independently. Congratulations to the subject, you are starting to grow up. Tantrums and quarrels may be a necessary stage for children and parents, to alleviate this status quo, you can think about whether the things you argue about are beneficial to you, think about whether this thing is done for me or for my parents. For example, if you are eating instant noodles and your parents tell you to eat well and not to eat instant noodles, you feel angry because you just want to eat instant noodles. But when you think about it eating well is good for who? Isn't it also for your own good health, better growth, and resistance to disease? That's when you might be more tolerant. Think about doing everything for yourself, not for others. If it's a parent who is one of those extraordinarily controlling ones who like to mindlessly interfere with their children, then it's even more of a problem for the subject, and only if you have a mind of your own, you're going to have a hard time feeling controlled. For example, you obviously like liberal arts, but your parents said that you want to study science, saying that it is good to find a job in the future. Because this is contrary to your inner desire, of course you have to feel unhappy, because they don't respect your opinion and viewpoint, but just impose their own will on you. If this is the case with such parents, you can only try to keep a good distance and show that you cater to them, but you have to be firm in your heart. Quietly wait for the day when you can support yourself and be independent, then you can live the life you want. So you can think about what you want, what is really good for you, and whether your parents respect you, support your opinion, and try to help you reach what you want. Are they really doing what's good for you, or are they just imposing their own views on you, even if you feel miserable.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22161
       },
       {
        "question": "My father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer, how can I help him to make the pain less painful?",
        "description": "Around the National Day, my father-in-law was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer in a checkup, we didn't tell him the real condition, and after the surgery, he was in good spirits. Today the test results are not so good, the cancer cells have increased a bit, and the hospital said he needs chemotherapy. I would like to know if there is any psychological explanation for cancer, if there is any way to make the patient suffer less, or if there is any possibility of a miracle?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, somatic reactions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! Seeing the words is like seeing the face. In the face of the fact that an elderly person is suffering from cancer, I believe that as a family member, you must have very complicated emotional feelings, and also feel depressed because you cannot say anything. Psychologically, there are 5 stages in the development of psychological activities for patients suffering from cancer: 1. Denial stage, in which the patient denies the fact that he is sick. 2. Anger stage, in which the patient tends to express his inner unwillingness by giving vent to his anger. 3. Agreement stage, in which the patient hopes that the doctor can help him to cure his disease. 4. Melancholy stage, in which the patient will be in a depressed state when he learns that his condition has worsened. 5. The patient will be in a depressed state. 5. Acceptance phase, before facing death, the patient is quietly accepting and waiting for that day to come. The order of each stage is not in any particular order, but in general it can help the patient's family understand the patient's psychological trends. It is important to provide the right companionship and comfort at the right time. Helping the elderly to get through these periods is something that children can take care of. According to psychology, everyone needs \"verbal expressions\" of love, which can be categorized into five ways: words of affirmation, moments of care, acceptance of gifts, acts of service, and physical contact. For cancer patients, this still applies, such as words full of love, tolerance and support, carefully creating some ritualistic situations for the elderly, giving the elderly things that they like and that are pleasing to the eye, taking care of the elderly physically with dedication and responsibility, and finally increasing the physical contact between the children and the elderly, such as hugs and forehead touch, etc., which can psychologically, and even physically, alleviate the pain and suffering of the elderly. . As to whether a miracle will be produced, it requires the willpower of the patient and the heartfelt efforts of the family members in taking care of the patient to increase the probability of a miracle occurring. Also, as a caregiver, it is more important to care for one's own heart, and the patient needs the strength of the family as a backbone to heal the disease. I hope my answer has inspired and helped you a little!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear subject. Life is impermanent and what we can do seems insignificant in the face of the great events of life, death and sickness. Regarding the question you posed, I have seen a number of respondents give their replies. As a counselor with a similar experience, what I can offer are some of the parts that I think are more important. When I read your question, I felt how unforeseen news like this can seem to us. It may be that we are going through this process, still denying the possibility of the illness and trying to find an explanation for it; we are also still trying to bargain if there is another way, if there is a miracle ...... Our first step in going to give our loved ones attention and support may be to first be able to go to our own hearts. Our denial and fear may also become a denial for those who are actually experiencing these illnesses. In a sense, the illness is a display that the mind and body are one and the same, but it also just means that we can try to understand ourselves through the symptoms at the time of the illness, rather than seeking an explanation that could have prevented this from happening. What happens may be more a matter of facing the situation as it is, respecting the doctor's professional opinion and diagnosis, and giving the best medical treatment we can, which may be the \"best\" effort we can actually make. Then, you also need to settle your own life and that of your family. When a father-in-law is ill, the whole family life is affected and changed. The impact of this is not always clear to the casual observer, and it can be a matter of long-term healing. It is also important for you and your significant other to try and figure out how to settle it all from a family life perspective, how to treat it, who is going to be with you for these treatments, etc., and to give the patient as much peace of mind as possible in a recuperative environment. In addition, in terms of emotional support, the father-in-law may need more care and companionship from his significant other, or his son. And this means that we need to give our husbands a little more support, or also take on a little more of the family business, which is something we need to be prepared for. Finally, speaking of treatment and support. Whether or not the cancer can be stabilized and controlled varies from person to person. Keep an optimistic and positive expectation and also plan for the worst. Lifestyle wise, respect the patient's own choices. There are two books, Grace and Courage and Staying with You to the End, which are about the process of accompanying cancer patients, and they are recommended to you, so you can try to read them when you have time. We can draw some adjustments from them, but don't think that we can necessarily find answers from them. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, first of all, from the doctor's point of view, I would like to explain to the subject about lung cancer. Lung cancer includes several pathological types, and you should be able to diagnose which type it is after the surgery! Some types of lung cancer are more sensitive to chemotherapy and targeted drugs, and if treated properly, there is no problem to prolong the survival time, so in this regard, you should still actively cooperate with the hospital for the next treatment! Of course, if it is really advanced and has already metastasized, there is really no good way out, and we can only take one step at a time, which is both a component of luck and the patient's own mentality! The subject mentioned in the description, has not yet told your father-in-law's real condition, three good think for the time being or do not tell, because a strong person, when suddenly received a death notice, it is also very difficult to adjust their own state of mind, that if the adjustment is not good, may rapidly aggravate the deterioration of the condition, played a counterproductive role, we encountered a lot of such a situation in the hospital, the family members are generally to the deterioration of the condition is really can not control the time to tell the patient, of course, but also to tell the patient, the patient can not be controlled. We have encountered many such cases in the hospital, usually the family is to the deterioration of the disease, really can not control the time to tell the patient, of course, there have been until the death of the disease do not tell the patient. The three good personally believe that the early can not tell the patient the truth, but to the moment of death, or should tell the patient the truth, because the patient also has the right to know their own real condition, the old saying \"can not die as a ghost ah\", and the old man may have a lot of last wishes to account for, should be given to him the right to do so. What I said just now is a bit off-topic. The questioner wants to ask: \"Is there any psychological explanation for cancer, and is there any way to make the patient's suffering less painful, or is there any possibility of a miracle?\" Psychology has no solution to cancer, but only requires us to face the disease and pain with a correct mindset. The patient mainly suffers from both psychological and physical aspects in the later stages. Psychological aspect: then if we didn't tell him the truth, we have to make a show of not having this thing in our usual behavior, and try not to let him notice the abnormality. If chemotherapy is needed, we can tell him a little lie, tell him that this is a malignant early lesion, in order to prevent malignant changes, chemotherapy should be prevented. Usually, we can distract the patient's attention and explain to him the effects of chemotherapy on the body, such as hair loss, inability to eat and so on, and do some easy-to-digest things, so as to help him through this period of chemotherapy easily. Treat him in the same way as an ordinary patient, don't intentionally surround him, as acting too fake will cause his suspicion. Physical aspect: The pain of advanced lung cancer comes from two aspects, one is the chest fluid, which makes it impossible to breathe, and you can only sit in a sitting position. One is cancer pain. These two conditions usually do not occur at the same time. There is no good solution for these, only symptomatic treatment, diuresis and asthma or pain relief. As for the last question the subject asked if there will be a miracle? SanShan told you, work more than 20 years, SanShan also saw the diagnosis of cancer, and finally nothing happened, but that kind of situation is not to do surgery to determine the pathology of cancer, are to do CT or some other tests identified as cancer, in the end, 100% is not cancer? Or is there any misdiagnosis? The three good also do not know! In fact, we should not be entangled in these, we should be open to accept what life has given us, positively face, do our best both peace of mind!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Grandfather has advanced lung cancer, although his mental state is good after the surgery, it has been found that the cancer cells have increased again. I can feel the concern of the original poster and their desire to share the burden for their grandfather. Hugs to the original poster. As for the relationship between physical illnesses and psychology, including the causes of cancer, there have been quite a few studies. For example, the C-type personality characterized by habitual self-repression is associated with a higher cancer rate. Traditional Chinese medicine believes in the impact of emotions on disease. Freud mentioned the death instinct. Family dynamics also play a role in following death. There are also many theories about self-destructive mechanisms in the subconscious mind. Although there is no specific scientific evidence so far, maintaining a positive and optimistic attitude and allowing oneself to coexist with cancer are generally recognized as beneficial for recovery or prolonging survival time. Therefore, the original poster\u3010Here are a few things that can be done\u3011: 1. Inform the patient of the condition gradually, and extend the time for revealing bad news. At the same time, provide companionship and guide the patient to express their thoughts or feelings. Focus on understanding and accepting, and do not force comfort if unsure how to respond. 2. Actively alleviate physical pain. Late-stage cancer, including chemotherapy reactions, often come with various physical discomforts that greatly impact the patient's emotional state and quality of life. Therefore, it is advisable to avoid treatment plans that cause significant harm to the body in pursuit of killing cancer cells. This may include the need for pain-relief measures. Consult with the doctor to be prepared. 3. Guide attention diversion and relieve stress. If the physical condition allows, maintaining moderate physical exercise, encouraging participation in activities of interest, and engaging in conversations about topics that the grandfather likes with family members can be effective ways to reduce stress. 4. Consider professional psychological support. This support is not only for the grandfather but also for other family members in emotional guidance and attitude adjustment. After all, the atmosphere affects everyone and it is necessary for everyone to collectively create a supportive environment. The involvement of professionals will make the overall coping process more organized and comforting. I hope this can be helpful to you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Mr. Owner. As a family member how to help your father-in-law with cancer, it is indeed very difficult and heartbreaking, but also worried about the fear of aggravation of the disease, there will be a variety of disturbances, in addition to taking care of the patient's daily care, diet, but also to sympathize with the patient's mood mentality, to prevent the patient's mentality collapsed, to speak carefully. In addition, as a child, one should do filial piety to avoid internal self-blame, and at the same time do their best to accompany, to avoid possible regrets. For the patient himself, there will be a variety of disturbances and doubts, I do not know the seriousness of the condition, may not cooperate with the treatment, feel unnecessary, and even go to do some things to aggravate the condition, so that the people around the know the truth is worried about. The patient himself, naturally, will have all kinds of doubts, but also be able to detect their own treatment and the reaction of their loved ones around them is not like the response to a minor illness. Whether or not you can trust your loved ones' explanations also depends on the state of the individual. In general, terminal cancer is a life-threatening crisis event, even catastrophic, for each individual, and there may be psychological feelings common to co-catastrophic events: denial (refusal to recognize), doubt, anger, fear of fear, and acceptance. This will be a process that occurs secondarily, and some patients may pass away without surviving to full acceptance. Whether or not you can survive to accept the fact that you are seriously ill, relax your mind, and actively cooperate with the treatment depends on your own ability to psychologically resist setbacks and catastrophes. It is not just a simple advice: you have to be strong and you can do it, it is the psychological accumulation of the individual's life resistance to setbacks. As to whether to tell the truth with the patient, is also a particularly difficult thing. If you don't tell the truth, you have to cooperate with your relatives, doctors, nurses, and all the people who may have contact with your father-in-law to fulfill this well-intentioned lie and calm him down, which is quite a stressful thing. Say it, in case your father-in-law's inner resistance to stress is not enough, the mind collapsed, resulting in aggravation of the condition, will inevitably blame themselves for telling the truth, it is possible that this guilt and self-blame accompany themselves for a long time, it is also quite difficult. To say or not to say, or to discuss within the family, first, different members of the family will have a different understanding of the eunuch, together collision of good ideas, must be better than the individual idea, but also can disperse a person's pressure and responsibility, to avoid possible excessive self-blame in the future. Secondly, no matter which decision is made, it is necessary for everyone to participate and help together. If it's going to be said, how it's going to be said and who's going to say it and how they're going to react afterward is going to be discussed. If it's not said, there's also a guideline in place for how everyone can work with each other. In addition, no matter what, how to take good care of the patient, so that the patient's mood to relax a little, is the need for the patient's own participation, to understand the patient's needs at the moment, and to cooperate with the patient's needs and care. Instead of forcing the patient to take care of what he or she feels he or she needs to take care of, it makes the patient unhappy. The understanding and support of the family is very important to the patient and will naturally reduce the patient's suffering. About how to understand cancer psychologically, this is not a few words can explain, there is a book called \"Hope for the Disease\", the author of all the physical diseases have their own unique understanding, some of them are more extreme, but it can be done as a psychological perspective, a view of the physical disease. It could be that you see the pain that illness brings to your family and you want so badly to do something for your family and for your father-in-law to ease that pain. Sometimes we have to recognize and accept our limitations, there are things that are beyond our capacity, even beyond human capacity. The only way we can face and accept it is together. Good luck.",
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          "answer_text": "The owner of the good to the relatives have cancer, this is indeed a very upsetting situation, but also can understand the family to hide the patient's approach. After all, death is a difficult topic. You alleviate your father-in-law's pain and want to perform a miracle. This is not for the whole family to ease the pain, to create a miracle. When it comes to life and death, in fact, psychology is quite useless; it can neither change fate against the heavens nor predict the future. We often hear that XXX lived for many years after his cancer diagnosis because he had a good state of mind. ...... Based on these cases alone, we can only speculate that being in a good mood may have a beneficial effect on prolonging one's life, but we can't be sure that it's 100% applicable to everyone. The only thing psychology has taught me is \"acceptance\". Accept everything that happens and live with it. Your father-in-law may be facing chemotherapy, and once that starts, not only will his body change, but you may not be able to hide it any longer. If you want him to suffer less, maybe he needs to be informed about his condition before second-guessing his suspicions. In the book Tales of Sickness and Pain, the author, Dr. Arthur Kleiman, mentions an incident when he himself was just starting out as an internist, when he encountered a seven year old female patient with massive, severe burns all over her body, a little girl who had to go through painful whirlpool bath treatments every day and needed to have the burned flesh removed from the blossoming wounds. It was an extremely painful event, and she made shrill wailing noises and resisted manipulation by the medical staff. Dr. Arthur Kleiman wished he could help her by calming her down, he tried all sorts of things to distract the little patient, talking about her family and school in the hope of calming her down, but to little avail, the child could not be calmed at all. Dr. Arthur Kleiman was feeling clumsy and incompetent when he realized that the little girl herself was asking him to listen to her, to let her tell him how she was enduring the pain, to let him know how she was feeling during this terrible treatment. So Dr. Arthur Kleiman listened to the little girl, and as she talked, she quieted down and gradually was able to endure the pain of the debridement operation. The author says, \"Whereas almost all cultural views of healing, such as those of religion and morality, draw the patient and those around them into a preoccupation with issues of frustration and confusion, the narrow vision of modern biomedicine avoids this aspect of suffering, as it does in treating the disease and not hearing the pain.\" So perhaps all we can do is be there and listen to the suffering of others and ourselves. Even if we will eventually face suffering and death alone, we are not alone. In closing, I hope my response has inspired you.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, owner: Once diagnosed, patients with cancerous tumors are under great psychological pressure, and they may suffer from anxiety and depression, or even have suicidal thoughts, at this time, they must be given correct psychological intervention and psychotherapy. At present, in the process of modern medical treatment, a large part of tumor patients can be completely cured, some of them can survive with tumor for a long time, and some of them are expected to shorten their lives. In the past, patients were generally afraid of cancer and thought that they would not live long if they got cancer, so the psychological pressure on the patients was particularly high, and the treatment effect was particularly poor after the psychological pressure was high, because when the psychological pressure was high, the eating and sleeping were poor, which led to the lowering of their own immune system. Some bad emotions will affect the development of the body, and bad emotions may be somatized. If tumor patients have a correct understanding of cancer, not all cancer patients life cycle is shortened, correctly given after the channeling of patients can soothe anxiety and depression, a correct understanding of the disease process. The following are the things we can do: i. Actively comfort and encourage the patient, listen carefully to the patient's complaints, and give support and understanding. ii. Second, help patients to distract their attention and relax their emotions, such as helping patients with massage, exercise, listening to music and so on. If your grandfather likes to play chess, or listen to opera, you can let him participate more. Keep the environment clean and comfortable, and always stay by the patient's side. Fourth, strictly follow the medical advice, give psychological guidance, give him more comfort and encouragement, more companionship. Fifth, understand the patient's pain pattern and characteristics, in order to be prepared. In short, give the elderly a little more companionship, a little understanding. While receiving medication, also accompany him to get some sunshine because some old people are really worried that they are afraid of dragging their children down with them, and they are afraid that they will be disliked by their children. So I hope the owner can be more companion more communication with him.",
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          "answer_text": "Hi, thank you for your trust, I have cancer patients in my family as well. I've learned a bit about the connection between this disease and psychology, just as an FYI. There is a term called cancer type personality. If a person has a part of their personality by which they are intransigent and continually function in a negative energy almost childish way. This part of the personality is as difficult as an invisible cancer. Then there is a possibility that this part will manifest physically. A certain part will have problems. The same logic applies to a family or a clan (a statement that has gotten some sideways corroboration from Liu Yousheng and Louise Hay in the US.) For example, if you blow up your lungs with anger, would it be related to anger? Does heartlessness have anything to do with indifference? Would the lungs, which are responsible for respiration and exhalation and his interaction with the world, have feelings of despair towards the world? If this part of the emotion is stored in the heart for a long time, and can not be expressed and catharsis, it will inevitably show up in the form of physical disease. You can find out more about this on your own. If you need in-depth communication, you can send me a private message.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, I understand how you are hoping for a miracle. Everyone is deeply shocked when faced with a major illness, so it's normal that your father-in-law won't be able to get over it for a while. The question boils down to how do you make a terminal cancer patient, in the last hours of his life, live a happier life? Everyone loathes loss, and if he realizes that he has lost his health, this state is extremely distasteful to him. Isn't there a common saying that health is 1 and everything else is 0. Health is really so important, and my heart goes out to your father-in-law and you as a family for having to deal with this. I think it's very important for your father-in-law to be in a good mood and for yourselves to be in a good mood so that you can create a relaxed and happy atmosphere for him. If you yourselves are all sad, he must be able to sense such an aura. It is up to you guys to influence his mindset. If there is any good news, signs of improvement in the course of treatment, exaggerating and telling him about it can give him a positive subconscious implantation. It's a feeling that health is coming back to him. I wish you all the best in waiting for the miracle you want.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 773
       },
       {
        "question": "What to do if you can't get out after being cold-shouldered at school?",
        "description": "Been told by others that the whole class is against me, have no real friends, because of poor grades, to the teacher, the old teacher sister cared about me, to my parents, they told me, he said, one person does not like me is that person's fault. It's my fault if all of them don't like me. After that, even though I graduated from that school, I still had low self-esteem, and I felt that people hated me when they looked at me in the wrong way. Still can't forget what happened at my old school, I'm very sensitive to words like school violence, and when someone has that kind of talk, I get very angry and want to hit someone.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, trauma therapy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can feel that you are very eager to get out of the shadow of the year and to establish a new pattern, is that right?01. Correct attributionPeople become particularly alert in stressful situations. Just like when a person walks into a forest, when he feels that the forest will be infested with wild animals, the body itself will be on heightened alert, and the presence of any animal at that time will, cause a strong defense posture. You can imagine back then when you were under stress at school, there seemed to be no good way to help you reduce that stress, and you didn't get timely support when you were bullied. So you kept carrying tension with you at school. When a person is tense, the people around them are sensitive to it and if they don't have the ability to take on this tension, they will adopt an attitude of staying away. So it's not that you're not likeable, it's that no one around you may have the ability or the courage to help you at that time. You must have your advantages, you can look back, from small to large in the process of growing up there is no one like you, praised you? 02. establish a new model to get along with people you can try to get along with the people around you now when you take a deep breath to let yourself relax, in the case of relaxation, other people will be more willing to contact with you, and slowly please have a chance to establish a relationship with friends. Now you feel a little low self-esteem, this can be adjusted from the establishment of self-confidence. Confidence is built on success, and that success is actually self-defined. In other words, you can set small goals for yourself and give yourself affirmation whenever you achieve that goal. Tell yourself that you are doing better today than you did yesterday, so that self-confidence will be built up slowly.03. Dealing with TraumaHearing topics related to violence in schools, you will be very sensitive, very angry, and want to hit people. Have you ever talked to anyone about the things you went through back then? If there are trusted people around you, you can also confide in them, which will alleviate the energy lurking in those depressing things. You can also talk to a trusted counselor. You've graduated from that school and you've gotten stronger, and past experiences can be lessons on how to protect yourself and how to ask for help. Past traumas are like human wounds, if they are taken out and dealt with, there is always the possibility of healing, maybe the process is a little slow, there is always a chance that it will get better.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "start": 384,
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           {
            "start": 500,
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            "start": 507,
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            "start": 554,
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            "start": 604,
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, first of all, according to your situation, I think your problem is first of all by your parents and teachers to guide improperly lead to your current results, and secondly, social factors, that time we can not control, but since now, the best way is to go to forget, come out, facing a new step. However, it is impossible to understand your situation and I don't know how to help you, so this side suggests that you should look for a counselor to do a consultation!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7996
       },
       {
        "question": "I have to repeat next semester, but I can feel I'm not doing well what should I do?",
        "description": "I was diagnosed with major depression in March 2020, and the students around me started to alienate me and even told me to drop out of school. So I took a break from school and I'm going back to school next semester, but I can feel that I'm not getting better, but if I don't go back, my family will think I'm a loser.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Treatment Methods, Mental Disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You feel this way because you are running away, you are afraid, afraid of another situation where your classmates alienate you, afraid of another bad thing happening, you are afraid that your parents will think you are a loser, you are afraid of disappointing them. You feel that your depression is not getting better because you lack confidence in yourself. From these situations you describe, you are more concerned about what others think of you. Excessive concern about what others think of you will easily affect your own emotions and your ability to self-affirmation. First of all, you can start from changing your own thinking, focus more attention on yourself, for your current situation, learning is the most important, set some small goals for yourself, you can slowly find some self-confidence through learning, don't care too much about other people's opinions, more comfort to comfort their own inner deer, more to feel their own mood changes every day and make a record of it, every day, feel the change of their own, let their mind slowly become stronger in order to be better. The only way to protect yourself better is to make your mind stronger. Secondly, to come up with some courage to face the social, people can not be good friends with everyone, there are a few to talk to the friend has been very good, the other is nothing more than a passer-by, so do not have to pay too much attention to other people's eyes, silent efforts, to believe that they have the potential to be a hit. Finally, face your parents with a grateful heart! No parent will really say their child is a waste of time, the influence of the family of origin, although there will be, but not all, life is always to face, and the most difficult is often the first step, across the past will be fine! I hope my point of view will help and inspire you oh! Love yourself well!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17987
       },
       {
        "question": "How to get through a low point in your life when you lose your job two weeks after a breakup?",
        "description": "I lost my love at the end of May and today I am unemployed, I want to talk to the other person but I am not qualified to talk anymore, how can I get through the low period of my life?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Stress Management, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, warm hugs to you~ You must be feeling very miserable at the moment because after the shock of losing your love, you have to deal with the frustration of losing your job. When you feel very painful, you want to be able to talk to someone close to you, but you are no longer in a close relationship, so you may not be able to talk to her very well. If you feel that talking can make you feel better, you can seek the help of your friends for emotional support and help, or you can try the instant talk and find a professional who can provide you with some guidance. The current state of affairs is a low point for you, but it also means that you have room to rise. Perhaps you can use such a period of free time to carry out a mental and physical state of adjustment, because there may be pressure from work, love, just in this period of time you can use this spare time to make adjustments. When you are able to adjust yourself well, you can return to your work life. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20328
       },
       {
        "question": "Lazy, no appetite, suicidal, is it depression?",
        "description": "Laziness, lack of appetite, poor sleep, lack of interest, low libido, unwillingness to communicate, always wanting to sit and lie down, is it depression?",
        "keywords": "Behavioral, hypochondriac, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello from the subject of the message to see that you now have no goal, do not know what to do, and then have some disappointment, doubt yourself.1, is not depression if you have this suspicion, it is recommended that you can consult a professional psychiatrist, the doctor's professional judgment and advice can help you; if you really have the misfortune to get depressed, please know that that's not what you do, active treatment you can recover ~ if you If you don't have depression, then I'm really happy for you, that you just encounter some problems in life, not to the seriousness of depression. 2, if you don't have the disease, some personal suggestions (1) set a goal for yourself to find something you like to do, write it down with a pen and paper and then go to the action to complete a thing on the check mark, and then write down a new goal to achieve all of them; (2) record the experience after you complete each thing, and then write down a new goal; (2) record your experience after you complete each thing. thing after the experience, you can also record by taking photos and vlogs; (3) make a time plan, what time to get up, what time to arrange to do what things, what time to rest, have a plan for your day; (4) keep socializing, go out and chat with friends, meet and talk on the phone with your family, talk about your present, and care about the people around you; (5) go out and exercise; (6) Try new challenges, make new friends, learn a new skill, travel to a new place to see the sights; ...... With the realization of the goal, you will slowly find that your life can also be very exciting and interesting, you can control the so-called \"free time\", you are surrounded by people who are worthy of your care, worth your efforts. May you get out of the darkness soon, and be treated gently by life~ Good luck! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Welcome to the warm nest of depression! Give the owner a hug! I hope to feel the warmth and light here and dispel the cold darkness inside. \"Lazy, no appetite, poor sleep, no interest, low libido, unwilling to communicate, always want to sit and lie down\", from the symptoms, there are indeed some symptoms of depression, such as \"reduced interest\" \"reduced verbal activity \", but this does not mean that it is depression. The three common lows of depression are persistent \"depressed mood,\" \"decreased interest or loss of interest,\" \"decreased verbal activity,\" and generally there are two lows that can be said to have a tendency to depression, but it is not certain that it is depression. Tendency, but not sure is depression, but also need to further understand the details of the situation, such as the duration of physical symptoms, the degree of impact, the degree of internal pain, normal diet, sleep and mental state and so on, these are done to assess the degree of depression as an important basis. Therefore, the owner can do scl-90 test on the platform to see what the results are, according to the test results to book an appointment with a suitable teacher to provide a more detailed and specific situation to do the assessment, to see whether there is an organic lesion, and then consider accepting the systematic psychological counseling.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14701
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the psychological mechanism of asking rhetorical questions about every question someone asks?",
        "description": "Every time I ask a question, it's always \"What did you say?\" Even if it's something like, \"Have you eaten?\" Even if it's something like \"Have you eaten? What can I do if I can't avoid such people in my life?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Giving you a hug, you must have been annoyed and offended by the rhetorical question. It's especially like when someone talks to you on WeChat, no matter what time of day it is, they say: Are you there? A particularly meaningless habit, both waste of other people's moods and waste of other people's time, sometimes I see people leave me a message in it, and then there is no letter, sometimes also particularly annoyed, why not something to say things? When a person what you say are asking you \"what are you talking about\" people, simple can be analyzed from several aspects a: the other ear active or passive bad, can not hear what you say, need to confirm that for example, some of the elderly hearing loss is more ferocious, such as some people are selective deafness, around the instinctive rejection of hate the sound of that person. I have a case study of the father is to hate to hear the old lady's nagging, direct selective deafness, who can hear all the words, only the old lady to speak he could not hear some young people wearing headphones all year round is also hearing damage is more serious, need to be very loud and each other to speak, the need to constantly confirm. Of course, there is a kind of is deliberately, the purpose is to let you do not say again, because you said in fact, he did not listen, he just want to use this non-stop rhetorical way to let you give up and his communication. These are the people who are not satisfied with you or do not want to communicate with you on this topic on purpose. Ultimately what is the reason why the other person is always asking you what you are talking about, if you feel a great deal of disrespect, it may be worthwhile to communicate directly with the other person on this topic, what is his actual motivation behind this habit in the end, and what does he need from you in order to stop asking this question all the time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12269
       },
       {
        "question": "Have a best friend who always takes advantage of me and goes out on dates at my expense?",
        "description": "Know ten years of girlfriends, now a little bit can not stand her, she is very selfish love to take advantage of me, the fuse is she came to school to see me to give me the cheapest kind of juice and go out to see a movie to cheat me did not bring money, more than once. I sympathize with her, her family conditions are not as favorable as mine, and she let me pay for almost all of the cost of going out, she never said she would share it with me, and she got very angry when she was asked to pay for it. Whether I bring money or not, she will not pay. Very excessive once, go to the movies, when I was out of school, out of too much panic is really forget to take the money, but the waiter has ordered movie tickets, I was there all over the body to look for, she is pestle and mortar in the immobility of that said they did not bring money, then disgusted me to death fast. A while ago she borrowed me money, I spent the money these days, I let her first pay me back, this is the first time I took the initiative to say let her return my money, not much money on 60, then she was very upset, we chat suddenly cold, fortunately across a cell phone, or too embarrassing. He came the next day only returned me 40, said no money, I? She is a college student, his parents harm at home, won't want it? I don't really want it, I just want to know her attitude. This kind of thing is too much, I'm really fed up with it, she also has the consciousness of the mind, right, how to rely on me, I still want to continue to relationship",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Conflicts, Friends, Deception and Trust",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Some of my humble opinion, I hope to help you Oh about what you said \"girlfriends\", in my opinion her behavior can not be considered a competent girlfriends. BFFs, in the real sense, are the closest friendships between female friends. And, precisely because of this, the existence of girlfriends should not be solicited, but should be to help each other to make progress together. A BFF can be a bad friend or a friend who shows up when you need help the most. The behavior of your \"best friend\" doesn't seem to me to be worthy of your continued relationship with her, but sometimes people are generally one-sided and subjective, and I can't use that to infer that your best friend isn't helpful enough for me to give you a thoughtful answer about your relationship. You can try to use the following questions to think back, you and your \"best friend\" have been together in the time of the bit by bit, and then make whether to continue to get along with the intention: (1) and when she met? How long have we been together? (2) What is the reason for knowing her? (3) When she first became your BFF, what things did you stem from? (4) Were you happy during the time you just became BFFs with her? (5) What things did she do for you after all that time together? Or offered you any help? (6) Is there anything that she has done to be there for you when you needed her the most without hesitation? (7) How do you think she has changed from the person she used to be? (8) Have you ever failed to help her when you could have? (9) Do you feel the same way with her now as you did then? (10) If you gave up this BFF, would you have other friends in your life to keep you company? (11) If you were no longer a best friend, would you regret it? I believe that after you think about these questions, you already have an answer in your own heart. Friends are precious in essence, not in abundance. Best friends are hard to come by, but they can be found if you put your heart into it. I hope my advice can be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friends, in a relationship always pay, and the other person not only do not know thankful and always ask for, long time psychological hard is very normal, so I can understand the subject's feelings. I think the subject should first distinguish their own interpersonal boundaries, that is, when others do this thing when you are not comfortable, is to cross their own boundaries, this time you can politely remind others, this way others will know, you do not like what, know and you do not do that, this is the interpersonal relationship in the bonding. If the other party does not respect your feelings, always cross the border, that she does not respect you, then that is, not sincerely when you are friends, then the subject and why seriously and her friends it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject. From your description it reflects that your friend's family condition is not very good. She has been taking advantage of you in your relationship. Then when you realized this, you created this your friend's resentment.1. No matter what your friend's family condition is, how much you can help her. That's no reason for her to be overly demanding of you. Your friend's behavior of taking advantage of you for a long time, to a certain extent, shows her attitude towards you, moreover, it shows in addition to her character.2. Suggests that the subject is already an adult, you have to learn to get along with people, improve the ability to recognize people. In this friendship, the subject has to seriously think about how you get along with each other. And not just from the economy, to consider a variety of aspects, your friend in addition to the economy is such a performance, you will have been in other aspects of her help or support? And what was the reason for the beginning of your friendship? Does that factor still exist now? These are all worthwhile questions that the subject can think about when considering their relationship.3. Also with different life situations. People change. The subject doesn't need to get too hung up on long-lasting friendships, but rather to find that friend or lover who is truly compatible with him or her based on a deeper understanding of himself or herself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20778
       },
       {
        "question": "Surround yourself with friends, everything will see the dark side, why do some people like to question it?",
        "description": "I have this kind of friend around me, and he questions everything that is told to him. For example, when he fell on his arm and broke it and needed surgery, he said it wasn't that serious and the hospital was just trying to make money! Everything sees the dark side! What kind of mentality is that? Why do people always question? How to avoid it!",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I thought of my mom when I saw your question. Mom always suspects that everyone hurts her, that hospitals are all about earning money, that people have something to gain by being nice to you, that people look down on her if they don't offer to say hello, and other situations. Every time I hear my mom say that, I can't help but get angry. Then I think about the reason that her sense of self-worth is so low that she thinks she doesn't deserve better, so she feels that everything is bad. Mom is very sensitive and feels hurt once people don't take the initiative to greet her or initiate a conversation with her. According to mom's upbringing, she was brought up by her older brother and her parents passed away at a very early age, and in this such a situation, it was inevitable that she tasted all the flavors of life. In addition, she came to work in the big city at a very young age, the gap between the rich and the poor, naturally inevitably encountered some people who looked down on her, the inner very low self-esteem. So in his heart, she remembers all the people who are not good to him. And as a result, feels that the world is mostly full of bad people and that he does not deserve to meet good people. There is nothing we can do about meeting such people, and we argue with our mom every time. Finally told myself that there is nothing we can do to change others, we can only influence. Let him feel the goodness of others.",
          "has_label": true,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7408
       },
       {
        "question": "What to do when you want someone to talk to, but you don't know what to say, and you're conflicted?",
        "description": "I am usually very lonely longing for WeChat there are a lot of people looking for me there are a lot of information but when someone looking for me I don't know what to say good afraid to say it can't get the reply they want want to be understood but can't believe that other people feel themselves very contradictory!",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Deception and Trust, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner. You said that you are usually very lonely, longing for WeChat many people to find you, but do not know what to say, but also afraid of not getting the desired reply. Why is it so sh? First, people are group animals, need to communicate, when the communication is less lonely, will subconsciously feel anxious. This stems from the ancient times when human beings had to fight against beasts with the power of a group, and in the ancient times a single individual was threatened by the survival. Secondly, it is due to the genetic inheritance of our ancient ancestral experience that we need to have emotional interaction with people and desire love and belonging. It is when you exchange information with people that you are part of a group. Third, you said you want to be understood, people looking for you, which means you need to be understood, hope that they have value to reflect, but do not believe in others, is the need to trust and be trusted, do not believe in others may imply that they may be untrustworthy, you need to trust. Maybe you need to one reflect on whether you need a group or not, today the threat of the distant past no longer exists, don't be too anxious. Secondly, if you want to integrate into the group, you can actually start by doing small things for the group, and slowly you will be approached. Thirdly, you don't have to be serious, you can express your own conceptual needs, or you can ask other people's, to take the first step. Fourth, try to believe in others, small things will not lose much, big things more verification will be good!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6936
       },
       {
        "question": "It feels depressing. I've had enough. Think I've lived enough?",
        "description": "How many sleeping pills can I take to die immediately? I've lived long enough, I'm depressed and fed up --- What brand of sleeping pills work well?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological crisis",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject ah ~ how are you now, I am very worried about you ~ see you are considering suicide, I do not know what happened to make you so painful, if you are willing to say, I can be your listener. No matter what sleeping pills can not be eaten immediately can not die Oh ~ will also make your body feel particularly particularly difficult, you can try to eat a sweet sugar, perhaps you can feel a hint of good ~ you can come here to us for help, I feel that you do not really want to die, perhaps you just can not find a solution to the problem for the time being, to say that we together to help you to find it okay ah ~ to see you say that you feel very depressed, I seem to see that you are not interested in expressing yourself, and I can see that you feel very depressed, and I can see that you feel that you have a lot to say. I seem to see your desire to express yourself and release yourself, in fact, suicide is also a form of expression, but not only this form of expression Oh ~ if you feel the need to help you can always come to us, or call the 24-hour crisis intervention hotline: 95.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15631
       },
       {
        "question": "20 years old, can't help myself, sometimes I want to find someone to scold myself?",
        "description": "At home is a lazy child, in school is a diligent child, epidemic situation at home for six months, in the face of their own plans can not be completed in a timely manner, sometimes really do not want to complete, will resist, sometimes they want to find someone to scold themselves, to scold themselves to wake up, very distressed ah, is not their own looking for abuse?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Work-Learning, Student Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, I think you are a hardworking and diligent person. Although you may want to relax at home and not be able to finish your tasks on time, the fact that you get anxious and you find ways to promote yourself to finish shows that you are still a motivated person. The different environments and atmospheres at school and at home may lead to a different state of learning. At home maybe you can make some study plans for yourself and set up some rewards for yourself, which rewards you can give yourself for accomplishing which plans, this may promote you to finish your study plans. Maybe you can also let your parents supervise you, or set a learning goal with your classmates, forming a kind of competition and common progress atmosphere. This may slowly make you study as hard as you do in school. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13896
       },
       {
        "question": "Tangled up to this point because of a communication with a counselor?",
        "description": "College students because last year with the dormitory relationship is not good always be scolded and do not have the courage to dislike him has been holding back to talk to his family but even so the mood is still bad then on the Internet by chance in a group to meet a counselor I wanted to find him to talk about the recent situation but did not wait to say that said to charge and give him a reason not to charge a fee free of charge to do it in speechless ah said I do not have the money and she said that you do not have the money you how to eat it to say that you what from the bottom of the heart do not agree to pay to solve the problem I said only 1,000 a month then she said is not money? In my heart, I do not agree to pay to solve the problem I said a month only have more than 1,000 then she said this is not money is not instantly uncomfortable and talk to him for a period of time to say even more angry words no one to comfort you and do not pay then she sent a link in the group called I refused to others to see him feel bad I'm very happy I'm not sick Yes, indeed, sick a angry WeChat group of her a piece of the deletion of counseling fees can be understood but want money so directly say a college student where so much money an hour hundreds of hundreds of flowers during that time because of the dormitory relationship emotional bad and you came to rub salt in the wounds at one time self-doubt I did wrong ah and in the censorship let this kind of people in actually want to talk about it but delayed the entanglement of a year ah can not be forgotten!",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Conflicts",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, hugs to you, heartfelt for what you are going through, tangled up in pain. Let's take it easy and try to analyze it. First of all, you have encountered a psychological problem, to solve it thought of psychological counseling. But this counseling has to be charged, and you are a student without a source of income, living expenses are given by your parents. Because of the counseling if you want more money, parents must ask why do you want, and because you want to do counseling or they won't understand and won't give money, if I don't ask my parents for money, I don't have the time or energy to go to part-time jobs, then it's a dead end, no solution. So in turn, is counseling the only way? It shouldn't be, because you've already written down the problem here and people are coming to help you, and it basically costs nothing here. Secondly is there a fee for counseling? Yes, if it is a professional counselor is to charge, because the process of counseling people are a lot of pay, and these pay is that he has spent a lot of time and energy and money to get before, because the professional is worth more. You will recognize his professionalism when you respect the profession, and these are the prerequisites for you to have results. If you are still just having troubles and need someone to listen to you, there are many ways to do that, such as writing a journal to self-analyze, radio stations also have hotlines, or having a good friend to confide in, none of which require a lot of money. If you have serious symptoms now, I suggest it is still necessary to find a real expert to help you, no need to get entangled in some less acceptable way for a counselor. There are a lot of people in this community, there are good people and average and bad people, don't give up a forest for a leaf. Best of luck to you, everything will be fine! Cheers.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello subject ~ I actually feel some empathy for what you're going through, I can understand the anger because I've had similar experiences and in real life. This is like being rubbed salt into the wound, which can bring us secondary damage. It is true that the counseling market in China is not yet regulated enough, but the country is now moving in a good direction in this regard. First of all, to make it clear that psychological counseling is indeed required to pay, this cost needs to be determined by the visitor and consultation, if the visitor refuses to pay the counseling room has the right not to provide services. But in your description, the counselor seems to have some tendency to force the visitor to pay, and did not take into account your feelings. You are torn between your fear of being hurt and your desire to change your current situation, and I don't know if you've noticed a problem here, but this is only one counselor you've come into contact with. But you seem to be labeling most counselors because of this one counselor. If the counselor you are talking about is indeed an inbound counselor, you can get feedback from the staff and they will deal with it accordingly. I also know consultants who wanted to join, but gave up because they had to fill out all kinds of information, and also attended training and found it too troublesome. I can see that at least in this platform, there is still a relatively strict management for the entry of counselors. If you want to talk but have limited financial resources, you can learn about the timely talk, the cost is low. Or go to the authentication of student status, you can get the corresponding preferential policies, the specifics can be in the consulting part of the consultant to add WeChat to understand. If you really can't afford to pay for counseling, you can also ask your school psychologist for help.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello owner! Look at your statement, let my mind came up, a school college students have not yet experienced the ravages of society, childish. Counseling this market, not point to point, but point to ten thousand phase space, a counselor can not represent all counselors, can not represent the cause of psychological counseling. First of all, clarify the reasonableness of the matter of psychological counseling fees. Many people think, anyway, is chatting, you chat with the street online is also chatting, you chat with me need so much money, too utilitarian. Psychological counseling, not the usual chat, the usual chat, want to chat can always chat, do not want to chat can be silent at any time. Psychological counseling is the use of counseling techniques, procedures, steps, skills, goals, knowledge transfer, experience, professional ethics, professionalism service. It's logical to exchange money for services. The problem is that you do not know the rules, and this counselor is less experienced, the lack of a mature fee mechanism in the area of negotiating consulting fees, and make it difficult for you to accept. Therefore, many consulting organizations, fees and consulting is separate, the assistant consulting fee, the consultant is only oriented to consulting. However, at present, many consultants do not belong to the consulting organization, but set up a separate studio, a person wearing several jobs. The reason for this, some complex, which is also and the current consulting industry is immature, China's pre-consultant threshold is too low, the psychological counseling market is chaotic and some relations. Secondly, the owner did not establish a relationship of trust with the counselor. This is the premise of effective counseling. You have not established mutual trust, the consultation even if carried out, will be full of suspicion, full of problems, it is difficult to play to the satisfaction of the effect of the visitor. Always hold a skeptical eye, one more point of suspicion, will give the effect of counseling discount. Furthermore, your desire to help is not strong enough. Your living expenses are more than 1,000 yuan not much, but living expenses are living expenses, consulting fees are consulting fees, your first thought is to squeeze this part from the living expenses, if you are now encountering thorny problems, this month to explain the situation to the family, to fight for a portion of the consulting fee is also feasible, if you tell your parents, most of our parents can still understand, and the family will not be short of these few hundred dollars. So that's why you're using a childish way of dealing with the problem. If you can't, even if you work part-time after school, you can still make that money, and it all has to do with your desire to help. Finally, back to self-responsibility. The whole point of us being adults is to be clear about our own power and obligations, and to hold ourselves accountable. Not overly angry with others, not overly self-critical of ourselves, but we are our own stewards, and we are responsible for our own bodies and our own behavior. That is what it means to be an adult.",
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          "answer_text": "Or a careful, vindictive person. Like my boss once said, how to teach you can not teach. I didn't dare to dislike him, but could only be silently angry in my heart: what did you teach? You only said it was wrong to do so, and you didn't tell me the right way to solve the problem. I change a method is still not right, you can not tell me the correct method earlier. So that I could make fewer mistakes? I always remember things like this. But just remembering the incident, the emotions at the time don't last that long. Of course there are many things from the past, like happy things that I still find pleasant when I look back on them, some sad things that I still find sad when I look back on them, and some very angry things that still haunt me when I look back on them. Like you said, you were already depressed when you were scolded by your roommate, and confiding in your family didn't work out very well, and he also added to your frustration and rubbed salt into your wounds, and there's a reason why you still remember him. You're trying to work through this emotion now because you realize (or subconsciously feel) that he's just a stranger, stranger than your roommate, and it's not worth it to remember him and waste your emotions. Let's move on to the roommate. You say: you don't dare to dislike people, you keep holding back, and then you get tangled up in finding someone to talk to, and some things like this counselor thing can keep you brewing over and over in your mind for a long time. So you can probably summarize that you will be a lukewarm, indecisive, to put it bluntly is to do things not sharp and not quick, procrastination of such a person. And your roommate he scolded you, from he scolded you this thing can be seen that he is what have what to say. The probability can be deduced that he is an acute person, big-headed person. So do you see why I'm going to say it's tough? Because that's who you are from your roommate's point of view. You two people's character can be said to be completely opposite, he look at you such a person, he will feel very difficult and uncomfortable, the same you look at him will have the same feeling, you will feel fried, straight to the real vulgar, think of it, do, do things without considering the consequences? You will be very worried. You will also look at him very bad. People are not the same, want to get along with the harmony of the actually have the luck component in it. Many different habits, different personalities, there will always be friction in the university to get along together. See the differences between others and yourself, understand their existence, and slowly you will accept them, although you may still not agree with them, but you will no longer carry emotions. I'll give you an example here, there will be a feeling of regional discrimination do not spray, such as Shandong people love to eat garlic, heavy taste, you may also feel: Oh very stinky, but you will not have a nasty feeling about him. Another example is that Fujian people speak Mandarin with an accent. You will also understand it, and you won't say that his speech is really hard to hear and annoying. If it's really hard for you, you can actually go ahead and apply for a dormitory transfer. To revert back to the counselor thing. First of all, you because the mood itself is not good, so you will remember him for so long, if you are in a good mood, won 1 million, 5 million, and confessed to the person you like, he / she agreed, and this life is not you. This time he told you that counseling to money, I guess you will not put in mind. (For example, you want advice on how to spend the winning money, how to live in harmony with the sexes ah) So this has nothing to do with you, and this thing, just because of the emotions at the time. You don't have to create self-doubt, think you're sick or anything. I don't know how you confided in your family and how they responded to you. But as long as your emotions are seen and understood, you usually get good relief. For example, your family members tell you: he scolded you ah, it's so wrong, even if there is something wrong, you should speak properly, so inconsiderate of other people's moods, he is really rude. If this is the way, do you think you will feel better? You need to find the right person to talk to to ease your emotions. That's why it's a good idea for you to seek out a professional (a counselor). It's worth a compliment, really, many psychological problems and depression are bottled up. Then we talk about finding a counselor. I remember what my teacher said: the counselor is obliged to help the visitor to remove any doubts before formal counseling, how to do confidentiality, the cost of counseling, and his qualifications. I don't know, when he told you about the fees, did you ask about counselor certification? There are also different schools of counseling, like certain issues, marriage issues go to a marriage counselor, family issues go to a family therapist. When a counselor is found who is not a good match, the counselor is obligated to make a referral to the visitor. It is to introduce the right counselor to the person. Certified counselors are on the app platform, but those counselors in the WeChat group are not necessarily all certified on the One Heart platform. I personally feel that you are most likely looking for a half-assed person, like me, half-assed person, he dares to come out to give you answers, he dares to come out to charge the same. Counselors are there to solve problems for people, not to give them a hard time. According to the feeling that he gives you trouble, he may not even be an apprentice. Before consulting, you can do some homework to question each other's ability, or go to read some reviews, like the platform has a listening teacher, visitors have comments, you go to pick a suitable style of listening teacher to talk about it. Just pick one that you can afford in your financial range. Lastly, I wish you a speedy elimination of negative emotions.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello ~ it is so, because now itself the psychological industry and related content is still in the process of step by step planning and establishment. Many aspects are not particularly complete. For example, 1, if from the system or counseling setup, the counselor as far as possible not involved in monetary transactions, that is, he is solely responsible for only consulting, consulting related questions and confusions and assistants on behalf of the handling and resolution. There will be no resistance from the visitors to the counselor's profession.2. From the point of view of individual practice, because the visitors belong to a special group of people, so the treatment will require special attention. In this regard, there may be a better way to respond to you. Or suitable for their own solution, for example, the university will generally have a mental health center, which also has some psychological counseling teachers, so you can also go to the school's mental health center to consult, and those are free. The counselor that the subject is dealing with is a bit inappropriate in the use of language, and the feeling that he or she brings to you is not very good. I will try not to judge other counselors, but I hope you know that you can find other counselors who make you feel good about yourself. ps: I would like to tell you that counseling is a profession that takes a long time to learn and costs a lot of money. On top of that, it is difficult to gain from counseling because most people do not have the sense to pay for psychological aspects, so there are times when it is just like the counselor that the subject encountered, who is more direct in saying those. This is the pain in the heart of most counselors, so many counselors will also be part-time, not full-time. Because of the test this, it is difficult to maintain a daily life. (Here also with you a little more to tell a little, simple to understand the industry itself) Finally, I hope to find a suitable counselor, you can go to more contact with the style of the different counselors, to see what they feel that way will be suitable for them, so that they feel comfortable.",
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          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confidences, deeply understand your feelings. Give you a warm hug, the following is my analysis:1 why you reap the kinks? That's because you gave 1 point or even did not give, yet you want to get 8 or even 9 points. This is greed, and God punishes such greedy people. So you are entangled, in pain, and can't forget.2 So how can you not be entangled? That is to know God's will and understand contentment. If you don't pay, find a free counselor. For example, we, the responders. Most of them are willing to listen to you talk, you just chat privately. They are all free counseling. And many of them are very good at what they do.3 It doesn't necessarily follow that free is bad. Nor does it necessarily mean that expensive is good. Choose what you choose and believe what you believe. People should learn to give, give their hearts to people they trust. Then, it is bound to live up to the time. Thank you for your question, may the world's good with you as expected.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 11347
       },
       {
        "question": "27 year old female and over the years I feel like I can't get interested in anything anymore.",
        "description": "I've only been in love once, in college, and then broke up after graduation. I've met people I like in the years I've been working here, but what I can't figure out is how often I meet people I like and don't like, and people I don't like and like me, and I don't want to settle for less, and now that I'm 27 and ready to be 28, I don't think I'm going to be able to live alone for the rest of my life, am I?",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Singles, Relationship Management, Good Feelings",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject sister, just saw the invitation to answer late, sorry for the delay. You have graduated from college, been in love, and often liked, you can be sure that you are capable of living a good life, quite happy for you ah. Your confusion lies in: \"often encounter I like and do not like me, I do not like and like me, I do not want to settle for, now I have 27 ready 28, I think I will not be like this alone for the rest of my life, right\" I think you are not too old, this kind of experience is the norm in life, I guess there will be people to advise you that some people like almost on the will be on it. Just it, of course, is well-intentioned, but I do not want to persuade you to get married and choose a partner how others see it is secondary, the most important thing is to like each other, each other can be accepted, never because of the outside world's reasons to commit themselves. Your destiny has not yet arrived but will always arrive ah, suggest that you wait while you take care of their own life and work, while properly expanding their range of communication, clear what they want to find what kind of match with their own people, if there is a reliable introduction of people dating is also a good choice. Can spare time to actively participate in some interest classes or study Tisheng class, may be able to meet the right destiny. Come on, life is waiting for you; the world and I love you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner~ I can feel your inner distress, on the one hand, considering your age, I hope to find a person to spend the rest of your life, on the other hand, I know that you can't settle for anything in your relationship. The world is so big, we will meet a lot of people in our life, but it is difficult to meet a person you like and like yourself. *Relax and let nature take its course *Relax and change your mindset, being alone can be fun, if a life with two people doesn't make you happier, why not enjoy your time alone. Don't be too anxious, everything is the best arrangement, although you haven't met the right person yet, then live in the moment and try to improve yourself. * Expand your circle, to meet more people * the owner can try to jump out of the current circle, into some new circles, to meet more people, so that the chance of meeting the right person is also greater. *Cultivate an interest, to find the joy of life * life is boring, we need to take the initiative to find fun, cultivate an interest, to do their favorite things, to find the joy of life, or in the weekend and friends to go out shopping, relax their mood. In short, one has to live a good life too, make yourself better first and relax your mind.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, subject, see the words like face. You can't force the matter of relationship, it's best to let nature take its course. I think the reason why the subject is thinking this way now is because she hasn't met anyone she particularly likes. Some of them are the kind of like that will be very hard not to be together, while some are very light, if you can be together, not to give up. Thinking about it this way, the subject hasn't met the kind of person that he or she can like for a long time even in close proximity, so that's why he or she is thinking this way. It's better to go without than to go without. The first is that the subject does not think that because they are a little bit older, you can just find a person to talk about, this will only make your future marriage is also just. The second is that the subject should learn to let nature take its course in the relationship, as long as you are not determined to be single for life, you can certainly find someone. In addition, the subject can go to participate in some outdoor activities, to meet some people with the same interests. It's really easy for people with similar interests to fall in love with each other.",
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        "questionID": 7929
       },
       {
        "question": "Can you especially want to eradicate your bad side and not compare yourself to others?",
        "description": "I've always thought about accepting myself, but I can't stand it. Because of the original very good reason, so I feel that I have been very good, the heart is very high, do things are trying to do well, to leave a good impression on others, will be harsh on themselves, always beyond the scope of their ability and level, often denying their own feeling that they are nothing, and can not stand other people better than their own, feel that they are not good. Being criticized, people outside the sky can not accept, be hit by the ambition of a great action can not keep up or even do not want to do, live a very tired pressure. Love fantasy, yearning for sweet love, only want to leave their own good side to the other side, to let the other side will feel their negative energy burst or think too much too sensitive. I want to change all these through counseling. Love performance, love to be called the center of attention, like a sense of superiority in the study, always hope that they can be very successful, but because of the fear of being found out from time to time to suppress this part of their own ideas. Remind yourself that no one pays attention to you, no one stares at you. The original is very good, think they are especially especially good, even this is to be criticized you do not know what kind of excellent people, the original when the three bar captain, class president, junior high school took the scholarship counts for what, all the past, but I just can't accept it, can not be compared with others.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Stress Management, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello yah, next I hope my answer can help you haha \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f About Accepting Yourself Roman Roland once said, \"Without accepting yourself, how can you hope that others will accept you?\" Acceptance of one's own strengths and weaknesses is a very difficult thing, after all, we all desire to be perfect and have a better self. Especially from the owner's description, we can see that the owner's past is still in a state of relative excellence, and his expectations for himself when he grows up will be even greater. But no one is perfect, as we grow older we will find that every field has more perfect, more excellent people than themselves, we will face relatively ordinary and ordinary. The owner is confused by this, and I have been confused about this, too. But on a reading afternoon one day, I came across a very inspiring quote in a book that I hope will inspire you as well, \"We spend our lives just trying to make our days ordinary.\" There's nothing wrong with being ordinary, doing what you're good at, always surpassing your past self, and as you grow older, you have a certain amount of experience, understand more things, and know more skills, and that's enough! Do not necessarily have to compare with others, everyone has their own rhythm of life, perhaps you envy the person, she is also in order to not as good as others and anxiety. Just do your own good, the next person can only be a reference. Adjust your goals appropriately, don't make it unattainable, make it practical, you are taking a small step towards it every day. \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f Love fantasy, yearning for sweet love, only want to leave the good side of yourself to the other person, to make the other person will feel that they are bursting with negative energy or thinking too much and too sensitive. Really like a person, will like his all, including advantages and disadvantages, in front of him, you do not have to show off, disguise, good and bad can be shared with him together. The owner you have to understand, hope is not to accommodate each other, but to live with each other. If he is able to accept the dress up you, but also able to wake up, to the face of you, said: good morning, wake up feel very love you. I hope the owner finds such a person soon and embraces your strengths and weaknesses. I\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f want to change all this through counseling. There is nothing wrong with a proper sense of superiority, which can make people confident and generous, but remember not to overdo it, make things difficult for yourself, and be too pretentious to make people around you resentful. The formation of shortcomings is not a day's work, change also needs a process hope that the owner can make a plan for themselves, a little practice, slowly. Good luck!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello ~ I understand your feelings very well, hug you ~ the subject seems to be very demanding of himself, there is a more obvious tendency of perfectionism it. In fact, we should all understand that no one can be perfect, a better attitude is to accept yourself for what you are, tolerate those bad, and promote those good. So I think what you should learn is to accept your own imperfections, you can read some related books, attend related courses to improve it. In psychology, there is a \"barrel principle\" - how much water a barrel can hold depends on the shortest board. Imperfection phobia forces people to \"prevent shortcomings\" in order to meet other people's \"standards\", and as a result, they create a lot of trouble for themselves. In fact, our understanding of this principle is not objectively correct. Suggestion - 1. Realize that the barrel principle is not absolutely correct. How much water a barrel can hold is also related to the diameter of the barrel. ...... Beethoven was deaf in both ears, but he could still be a great musician. ......2 Let yourself reach a balanced state. There are some shortcomings that have little impact on life. Some shortcomings can be supplemented by playing to strengths. There are some shortcomings that can be compensated for by working with others. There are also some shortcomings that are not really shortcomings at all! ! 3, use real actions to turn characteristics into strengths. The reason why people with obvious shortcomings are not successful is not because of the shortcomings themselves, but the inferiority complex caused by the lack of acceptance of oneself. The so-called short boards are nothing more than misplaced strengths. You can savor them. Just for reference only. Good luck~.",
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          "answer_text": "Hi, Actually, in Juner.S opinion - there is nothing wrong with excellence and there is nothing wrong with aspiring to excellence! Examine all the people you can see, who are constantly striving for excellence. In other words, everyone wants to be better! Wants respect, praise, attention, recognition ...... So, you and I deserve to be excellent, and we all deserve to be excellent! So, can we eradicate our bad side? My answer is:No! The truth is, whether you are perfect or imperfect, these traits are all part of who you are! We can't cut out a part of our body tissue and discard it like a surgery! What we can do is perhaps acceptance and growth! If running away and trying to hide your \"imperfections\" is a form of salvation, then it will take a lifetime of energy! In other words, it's not your faults you're denying, it's you! I hope you can be tolerant and relieved, and objectively see the differences that exist between people. Other people's excellence and our own imperfections will be part of our growth! Although we are not great, but we can not be willing to be mediocre:We are such a so ordinary people! We are such a person with both strengths and weaknesses! I wonder, how does the subject view his imperfections! In my opinion, a rusty work of art is also art, and superficial imperfections are not enough to cover up the value and significance of the work itself! Admitting your imperfections is not self-denial, it's courage! The reality is this, do not dare to recognize (see) their own people, always in the escape, in the denial and escape! And bravely face their own \"imperfect\" people, dare to stand in front of the world! No stage fright, no cowardice, admit that they are not perfect, but this will not affect their own excellence! Because ta know, everyone has \"imperfections\", everyone has to face is their own inner fear! So, can we not compare? My answer is still the same: No. The old saying goes: \"Look up to others\". As the old saying goes, \"If you look at others in the mirror, you can correct your clothes. So why is it that many people's comparisons (process) have brought about low self-esteem, anxiety, fear and other emotional ups and downs in themselves? Whenever I feel low self-esteem, I always think of that phrase - how much you look down on others! Because in most people's opinion, there are often only two results of comparison:yesorno! When we find out through comparison that we are inferior to others, emotions such as low self-esteem, anxiety, fear, etc. may arise within us; on the contrary, when we find out through comparison that we are even better than others, feelings such as a sense of fulfillment, superiority, and a sense of worthiness within us may appear! So, if there is no sense of superiority through the process of comparison. Then there would be no inferiority complex through comparison and the realization that one is inferior to others! Yet there is in fact a third possibility for such a process as comparison. When we have respect, tolerance and understanding within us, we are able to tolerate any conclusions that come our way. We can look at our own shortcomings and the strengths of others and face them in a rational and reasonable way! So, here again, we need to repeat the phrase: respect the differences between people and tolerate diversity! Suggestions \u25cfThe subject may need to re-examine, understand and define the criteria of \"excellence\". You can set a goal for yourself as a direction. Then set milestones for yourself! Expectations don't need to be high; less is more! There are three different possibilities for the comparison process. You can choose to be rational and reasonable, and try to be respectful, understanding, and tolerant! \u25cf The subject can develop a habit of keeping a diary. You can be introspective, you can record your own life as well as your inner feelings. You don't need to be fancy, you don't need to fix it, simple words can help you better see your own inner expectations! The process of self-analysis, self-acceptance, and self-regulation is still something that many of us insist on doing. Because it helps us grow! A word from a family member just for reference! Good luck!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "You must have forced yourself to suffer a lot for the sake of the efforts in the eyes of others, but the result is not the result you hoped for and the recognition of others, which sounds sad. When I was a child, I wanted to be recognized by my parents, when I was a student, I wanted to be recognized by my teachers, when I was working, I wanted to be recognized by my leaders and colleagues, and everyone came this way, except that some people are good at superficiality, giving others an illusion that they can easily cope with it, and that they can easily get it. There is a word called win-win, which means both parties feel satisfied and comfortable. But from your description, you have been pursuing a single win, other people's needs you try your best to satisfy, even if it is condescending, even if you don't like it, so those payoffs you don't feel comfortable at all, not at all willing, difficult, arduous and unusual. Think of a little story, there is a child to use the bricks to make a nest for the dog, there are two presuppositions. 1, he does not like the dog, and this dog his father likes very much, his father ordered him, in the day must be made a dog kennel, before the evening to be done, this child hung his head in mourning towards the pile of bricks that looks very heavy. He thought the kennel was a pain in the ass. He wanted to get a puppy, but his father said the dog didn't have a place to live, so if he could work out a place for the dog to live, he would agree to get a dog. He saw a pile of bricks in the corner, and then sweated profusely to make a crooked kennel, happy to tell his father, the dog can live in that corner, his father reluctantly said as you wish. In this story, it seems that he also made a doghouse, but his moods were very different between the two times he made the doghouse. I wonder what you think the reason for his mood change was after you heard this story? Let's talk about the feeling that you feel unusually hard. When we want to achieve a certain goal very much, we will work very hard to overcome all the difficulties, even if these difficulties make us work 10 times and 100 times harder than we usually do, even if the process of working hard is difficult, and even if all these difficulties make us suffer a lot. But as long as we think of going through this process we have succeeded, our goal has been achieved, then we will be very resilient to carry these pains, but it seems that every time you do something it is because it is someone else's favorite, someone else's requirement, not your own, you do not want to require yourself in this way, and that's why you feel miserable. Or do you realize in yourself that you don't want to demand this of yourself? What are the reasons for not wanting to demand it of yourself? For example, if you don't feel the need to be proficient in everything, satisfied with everything, good at everything, and just about everything, then you must be suffering under the demands of others, and the fact that you have to fulfill the demands of others is the source of your suffering. So what is the reason for wanting to demand of yourself? You want others to think that you are strong in everything and excellent in everything, then you must have put in more effort than others to get greater achievements than others, just like you said that your grades were very good when you were a child, I think you must have put in more effort than others at that time to get excellent grades. So if we want to be strong, then we must work harder than others, and there is nothing embarrassing to say about this effort, there is nothing to be ashamed of, this is our own goal, isn't there another way to accomplish our goal, and make it public, so that we can all be responsible for monitoring ourselves together? I recommend you to watch some Japanese dramas. I think that no matter what the contents of the Japanese dramas are about, every person in them is very real, that is, when he realizes that he has some desires, he understands and affirms his desires very well, and he doesn't feel ashamed of having such desires, which is something that we need to learn. On the one hand we want to reach a very high level, but we also feel very ashamed of the idea of wanting to reach a high level, and are bound to be caught in a state of pull, where on one side is the part of wanting to reach a high level that we must work on, and on the other side we can't allow ourselves to be fully committed to that endeavor, but rather we feel like what will other people think of me for working so hard. It's actually very true to see you psychologically build yourself up and say that people aren't paying that much attention to you and don't think too much, but you can also go and notice yourself, when someone complains that they're not doing a good job at something, are you staring at them? Seeing if he's doing that thing well? Or are you not even aware that he is doing that thing and the reason for not doing it well you have no way of knowing, it's just that he speaks about it and you realize that he has gone through such a thing and such a mental journey. So pain is because we think about it, so what do you really want? Ask about your pain! I hope my answer helps, love from me and the world.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Admitting \"I don't love myself\"] [First] Admitting \"I don't love myself\" Listen to your description of how you dislike your own faults and shortcomings. Try reading the following words: I don't love myself, I dislike my shortcomings, I hate my shortcomings, I can't accept my shortcomings. I don't feel that my shortcomings are worthy of acceptance. How do you feel after reading it? Feeling relaxed? It's hard to accept that you turned out to be someone who doesn't love yourself. Give yourself time to adjust. [Second] Understand yourself because you've never been taught how to properly confront your flaws. Always being asked to correct, being asked to get perfect, never really being accepted in its entirety. In fact, it's not your fault that the way you were treated as a child has led to the unconscious aversion to your shortcomings that you have now. Thirdly, releasing your shame and criticizing yourself is a shameful way of feeling about yourself, and it is this shame that makes you desire perfection and prevents you from seeing your own value and charm. Therefore, the only way to release this cage. [4th] Forgive yourself Forgive yourself for asking for forgiveness. \ufe0f There are symptoms of a problem, not you as a person. Write a letter of forgiveness: forgive yourself for not loving yourself, forgive yourself for not accepting your shortcomings. [Fifth] Accept yourself try to say to yourself: this is who I am. This is the way I am, I have shortcomings and am safe, my shortcomings are worthy of acceptance. [Sixth] Learn to be proud of yourself Apart from your shortcomings, don't you have any points? Always remember your strengths, they are worth seeing and magnifying. Only by admitting to yourself that \"I don't love myself\" can you ignite the desire to love yourself again. There is nothing to be afraid of if you don't love yourself in the moment, you are accepted by the universe no matter what state you are in. Bless you, namaste!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs dear subject, let's hold off on the self attack for a while, it's going to be hard on yourself. I understand your pain. I've been in the same pain of \"being competed with\" as you have been, and it's because you're so good that you've been taken as a \"role model\" in your studies and must be the one who shines in your relationships. 1. You don't have to blame yourself too much. You don't have to blame yourself too much, perhaps it is our long-standing educational environment that has molded us into needing to compare ourselves with our neighbors. Growing up in a harsh environment, we have to keep up with our efforts at all times to maintain excellence; but behind the scenes, it is the pressure that brings about self-repression and pain. Such a contradictory psychology must feel difficult, but I hope you can understand that it is not your fault. You are trying to adapt to your environment and protect yourself. Hold you. 2. Instead of saying that you are sick of the comparison, what you are sick of is being \"pushed to excel\" by others. It's as if you're the \"ringmaster\" of a boxing match, and others see you as the \"target\", as the \"object to be defeated\". But no one understands the loneliness of the \"high and mighty\" you, and how you have to cope with their attacks over and over again. You may be tired, or you may just want to return to the masses as an ordinary spectator, and they can't understand that. It's not your fault. 3. But you still feel pain, probably because it's hard to remove the burden of \"other people's expectations of you\". The original is very good originally when the three bar captain, class president, junior high school scholarships because you are always so good, all the way to the flowers and applause, all the way to the high expectations of the people on you. You've been burdened with too many of these \"well-intentioned expectations and pressures\". You are afraid of failing them, and you can't bear to accept \"an ordinary self\" in their eyes. Or perhaps you have internalized their expectations of a good you as part of your evaluation of yourself. And stripping away that part of your inner evaluation is as hard as the word you use, \"eradication\". My heart goes out to you. Perhaps we can redefine ourselves, affirming that we are reminded of a famous quote by Tiffany Chang: \"Honey, there's no one else out there but you.\" We are not in a hurry, we take our time. Bit by bit we can identify those things in life that make you feel purely happy and joyful; it could be cooking a meal, completing an exercise, doing a meditation, etc. And these things are the little things that are as free as possible from the judgment of outsiders and exist only to make you feel fulfilled inside. You'll see that there's a lot more to you than just what others see, and you can feel good and confident about yourself as a result. We don't need to push ourselves, though, and have only our own standards and values to allow ourselves to grow. Learn to be appropriately grateful for the value of those who care for you, chip away at their judgment of you as well as their prejudices, and mindfully thank them for paying attention to your energy. I also believe that you are a wonderful person and we can pass on those strengths in us to those in need and get feedback in caring. Then you'll realize that we're not just evaluating ourselves as \"good\", but as a person who can be trusted with multiple personalities. You don't have to push yourself to be good, you don't have to care about what others think, you can take your time at your own pace, and you're really good! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the subject from the description of the subject see you are very strict with yourself, demanding that you must achieve perfection. I don't know what causes you to be perfect, whether it's because of your family's expectations or because you have high expectations for your future. All of us like beautiful things, and it is a common tendency of human beings to aspire to perfection, to love fantasy, to yearn for sweet love, and to want to show the good side of ourselves to others, all of which are situations that many of us will have. There is nothing wrong with the pursuit of perfection, but in the pursuit of perfection in the process of affecting their own lives, so that they are in an unhappy state should have some changes. The fact that you have realized that some situations are wrong and thought about changing them, you have taken a very important first step. I have some suggestions that I hope will help you a bit: first of all, try to accept your less perfect self, be happy with all the way you are, you are who you are and you don't need to compare yourself with others. Although I know it's hard, don't keep thinking about accepting yourself, it's likely to give yourself some negative reinforcement. When you are not happy with yourself you can think more about what you are good at, and think about the compliments that other people give you, it may make it easier for you to accept your shortcomings. Secondly, the fact that you turned out to be very good means that you originally possessed a very good foundation, and it is possible to restore yourself to what you used to be with the right kind of study. Suggest that you can make a goal and plan for yourself according to your existing situation, the goal is not too big, to be practical and feasible. This will enhance your self-confidence to some extent and make you less likely to deny yourself. Finally, put the focus of the definition of excellence to their own, not too much to compare with others, they have accomplished a goal can reward themselves, for example, you plan to pass the fourth grade through self-study, then reward yourself with a gourmet meal, instead of being happy because their fourth grade scores are higher than others. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the subject in your heart, there may be a part of your own high expectations, always expect that they can do the best, because of this \"most\", so they will be compared with others. When you feel \"there is someone else, there is a sky beyond the sky\", you will be very anxious, very painful. It's not your fault. You expect to be noticed and become the center of attention, which is essentially a desire for more love. At first, in the growing environment, the nurturer may not realize the harm caused by this \"high standard\" and \"high demand\" on you, and hug that self, that little you in order to get the care, acceptance, and recognition on which you depend for your survival, you have to accept this! In order to receive the care, acceptance, and approval you need to survive, that little you had to accept this strict \"high standard\" and \"good expectation\", and when it was gradually internalized by you, it was like it became a strict internal standard, comparing yourself to others all the time, and even criticizing yourself... ...Stop, my dear, and be kind to yourself and tell yourself, \"You really don't need to be that good, you don't need to be better than anyone else. You are good in my mind, and even if there are imperfections, they still don't detract from that goodness.\" Don't pursue the so-called \"excellence\", in fact, most people are ordinary people throughout their lives, ordinary people can also be healthy, happy and comfortable. Our goal is to be a \"healthy, happy, comfortable, powerful, courageous, boundary\" ordinary people. You say you long for sweet love, but do you know? Love and friendship in the \"sour, sweet, bitter, spicy\" have, not all permanent love can always keep the sweet taste, so sweet and sour love, affection and friendship, you want? Don't put your hope completely on psychological counseling, counselor is just a mirror of us, the road to self-growth, the best partner is their own, from now on no longer attack themselves, open their hearts, gently embrace themselves, support themselves, cultivate themselves, allow themselves, hold themselves, and seek help as appropriate. Of course counseling is also a form of professional help, but the most important thing on the path of self-growth is the life force that breaks through the ground within ourselves, the total acceptance of ourselves. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I saw the comment about yearning for sweet, sweet love, and I'm guessing that the subject might be a girl? Putting so much pressure on herself must have been tough along the way, but luckily, she found the problem-focused point herself and was willing to help herself in such a way, so it's especially remarkable oh! ##Children who have always been exceptionally good, must have grown up surrounded by appreciation and affirmation, sounds great, just for a child, the pressure behind excellence naturally comes from a long time, like a taut string, at any time may not be able to withstand the time, so hug yourself, tell yourself: tired you can take a break, you can also relax, take your time. ##So demanding of their own children, I think there will always be a strict parents around, used to the pursuit of perfection, used to do the best, but also used to forget their own true heart and needs. So, grown-up kids are the ones who have to learn to see their true selves, including their less-than-excellent, less-tolerant, and even shortcomings, and even jealousy and secret comparisons, which are nothing more than the normal reactions of normal people. Just like between best friends, one says to the other:I hope you are doing well, but not better than me! Then they look at each other and laugh, one can say and the other is willing to listen, no harm no foul. ## We must learn to take the trade-offs, the wisdom between gain and loss and the proportion of the grasp can also allow themselves to better understand themselves, to see themselves, to find their own sincere desire, and to pay for it, is the right solution, the other with fate, do not force the harsh. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that! The next time you have a thought come up, then take a deep breath and tell yourself: flowers bloom on one side, each fragrant! You are good, I am not bad!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18189
       },
       {
        "question": "Too angry to break up with her, hard to regret hopeless how to do?",
        "description": "November 8 and she separated to go to school, November 27 she confessed to me that she has a good feeling about other boys, but she said that this kind of good feeling is because of my foundation, and then coaxed me, said I how to punish her can be, is not to break up, and then November 28 I was too angry and she said to break up, I was completely swayed by the emotions, and then November 29 and regretted, but because of saying too much not believe that she had doubts about her kind of words. But because said too much do not believe her to her suspicion of the kind of words, she no longer want to get well with me, I went to find her, she said wait for her a month later after the examination, we still have no chance ah, I can not again and her and good ah, I should do ah.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, breakups, fights, good feelings.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Break up, girlfriend doesn't treat you well and tells you to wait until you finish your exams. I believe that what she says is true because there is no other way, I can't watch her for a moment or pull out her heart to see if it's true or not. And, what I believe tends to happen. Girlfriend says she has a crush on someone else because of you! What a clear sign - she loves you to the core and spots you in someone else! And you, you're a stupid pig, you actually think that's betrayal, as if she's your private property and doesn't need to have independence or a mind of her own, you're so incomprehensible in your understanding of a romantic relationship, and the words that follow about wanting to die, and not being able to live without her, are prejudices based on a lack of understanding of a romantic relationship. She said whatever, except break up. How did you interpret that? She loves you to the core, so much so that she took her secrets out and shared them with you, how much trust is that in you. Rangoose you, you are like a guardian of the cubs of the ferocious beast, that is, brutal and can not stand a little wind. Her most loving behavior, was you as a betrayal, she is undoubtedly by the most trusted person stabbed in the chest, this will be how much damage to her? How much will it hurt your relationship? How will she look at you? Will she still be so trusting? What do you do? Apologize is a must. Not because you're wrong, but because you don't understand her. Don't bother her too much. Wait until after the exams and then just talk, say what's on your mind once in a while, don't expect her to reply. Tell her how naive you are, how worried you are - you're too far away, and she has a crush on that guy that you can't help but see as a threat. Anyway, thank her for her trust and examine your jealousy. As long as you can redeem your image, there's not much that can go wrong. If you don't care about your image, it could be a bad thing - she's given up her illusions about you and thinks she's starting to see you for what you are, and you don't need me to tell you how embarrassing it will be to die if you take more leverage on her. So it's not something to dwell on. If you dwell on it, you'll get the same result you're dwelling on. Think about how you're going to be nice to her and how you're going to explain it all to her. Don't forget that you have a big threat that is more favorable to you now, and when you get passed over, the one like you could potentially take your current place oh. Good luck with your math and no more stinky moves.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Building owner hello! Girlfriend said to see a boy with a good feeling, the basis of this good feeling is because of you, you are very angry, speak hurt her, you want to get back together, and now she gave the deadline is a month after the exams to say. First of all, I do not know how old the owner, if it is an adult, the owner has to think about some issues. & have a crush on a guy and told you about it. A woman who can tell you that he has a crush on a boy, probably because the character and you are almost the same, or look like you ...... No matter which reason, but where she can tell you this kind of idea, it shows that she cares a lot about you, do not want to hide it from you, for fear that you will know later to be angry. She also just said there is a good feeling, there is a good feeling does not mean to say that she cheated. Just like most men walk on the road to see a beautiful girl and then can not help but look at more than two eyes, and even feel that this woman is better than my girlfriend, but that's all, so what does that mean? The man cheated? Women don't forgive? You can try to think of a different perspective, perhaps this matter is not a big deal, and this kind of thing is actually allowed, just like life, we see the star is very handsome, may fantasize and he fell in love, but also just think about it, there is no fuss, but if the action that is not the same. & hurt her, want to make amends, one month buffer period now she doesn't want to get back together, is angry, you want to make amends. This is a good cooling off period. During this period you can think about the problems that occur in yourself, such as the girlfriend's disbelief, say hurtful words, these you have to reflect on, because these represent what, represents your feelings of these three years can not even withstand her words, just so a sentence you have to hurt her, break up with her, you do hurt her very deeply. In your serious thinking, change yourself at the same time, you have to do another thing, even if she said the teacher said, then you do not need to talk to her more language, with action to prove, if you are close to each other, you send her breakfast, or what she has you silently with her, do not have to say anything, is some caring words, like a new love, you look at what she likes, what she wants to be properly given to her, and if the distance is far, you every morning to give her, and you will not have to say anything, but you will have to do it. If you are far away, you send a good morning every morning, good night at night, the weather is cold to remind to add clothes and so on. But you remember you must change your temper, or the next time may really have no chance at all, I hope you guys happy happy!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1017
       },
       {
        "question": "Sexually abused by her family when she was a child, she was afraid to talk about it and chose to commit suicide when she was 18 years old.",
        "description": "When I was young, I was sexually abused by my family, I didn't dare to talk about it and when I was 18, I chose to commit suicide and was sent to a mental hospital by my mom, now I take the medication prescribed by the doctor, I don't even have the basic ability to survive, I always feel like I'm just a superfluous piece of trash, I hate my mom for giving birth to me!",
        "keywords": "mature",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Perhaps we are especially lonely and helpless inside when we are suffering. Perhaps many people, like the subject, want to ask the world: why am I so deprived and helpless? Why does no one understand me or love me? What is the bottom line of my life? Am I even qualified to become better? ...... But if you change the outward question to 'equal & calm conversation': how many ways can I slowly build up my energy? Where is the recipe for being understood and loved, hidden in this world? When I have nothing, will the sea, the sun, the mountains, the rivers, the trees, and everything else in this world still love me? How does one 'become better'? Can I define it? ...... By asking the question in a different way, is it also a different way of feeling?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22258
       },
       {
        "question": "16 year old girl, why do I smile unconsciously when I cry?",
        "description": "For about a year or so now, when I cry I always want to show that I'm okay and not to worry too much about me, so it's gradually become a habit. I was scared of people caring about me, like I didn't deserve it. If a friend is cold I often ask my friends why they don't talk, it's like I'm afraid of someone being upset, I'm afraid he must tell jokes because I'm upset. I have a friend who is not close to me, but I always take care of her somehow, send her all kinds of gifts, help her solve all kinds of problems, and I feel like I am attaching my love to her compulsively, so that she doesn't leave me like that. Am I thinking too much?",
        "keywords": "People, friends",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "What a good boy, I would hug you if I could. I can see that you are a person with a lot of emotions and a sincere heart that doesn't want to bother others, whoever meets you should be a lucky one and should cherish it. But as sensitive as you are, you've done enough for people, but you need to be more kind to yourself, come on, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16215
       },
       {
        "question": "Stressed out, confused about life, fearful of the future, suspecting you're sick?",
        "description": "What can I say, stressed out because I can't find the right counselor and the back of my neck is hard as I write these words. Always analyzing myself. I don't have much money, but I still want to pick a better counselor, jumping around difficult to decide, this is almost open college, this volunteer is still tangled, counselor looking for a summer are not stable, is my problem, I don't know, really don't know, pain, really painful, to the excellent want to be successful, want to be great in the front of the school once you enter the soaring kind, have a sense of superiority I'm better than the others, study well can The kind of scholarships, but I have a problem with my own positioning, I repress my own ideas, constantly trying to correct him to analyze him, eager to find a counselor to discuss changes, I am not me, and can not accept the real me, I just want to be good, but everything can not be as I want, always low, but not so bad, I often push myself, suspecting that I have a disease, do not dare to hope for, to hide themselves and feel that they are very good. The counselor I'm desperate to find nay not enough money, what should I do, can someone help me. I keep trying to change counselors, what to do I'm so miserable. There are two teachers only tried once, and again that, how to do so painful neck so hard, pain, pain, pain surprisingly still want to be good.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, find a counselor, stabilize, try to do a few more counseling sessions, they on the other hand will understand you better and develop a counseling plan that suits your situation, it may be much more useful. Maybe you can get help from your parents or family members to find the right counselor, and you need to trust each other during the counseling process. Each counselor has his own way of behavior, try a few more times, you may slowly feel that he is actually very helpful to you. The owner feels that he is better than others so the psychological is very normal, who all want to try to become good, who will want to become good. But efforts to have the desired results is a certain process, if the middle of the undesirable or disappointing stage, do not be discouraged, a different way to continue to work hard, but also to continue to believe in themselves, do not feel that they can not, to give themselves a strong psychological hints, and then will be successful. If you see their own shortcomings, but also to learn to be brave to accept it, no matter what, it is a part of themselves, dare to face up to their own shortcomings or shortcomings, may become much more open-minded. At the same time, acceptance of imperfect self is conducive to the correct understanding of themselves, introspection, and constantly improve themselves. Knowing your own shortcomings, you can better prescribe the right medicine, and constantly improve and change them, which is also conducive to the betterment of yourself. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12514
       },
       {
        "question": "15 year old female, can't concentrate for the last 6 months?",
        "description": "Because of their own reasons in the past experienced not good some things, originally maintained quite good, suddenly in the examination after the raw land will be examined in that period of time began to lose control of their emotions. Now the closer the midterm the worse the state, the physical condition has become very poor, three days a laryngitis five days stomach ache, obviously used to be very healthy. The grades are falling like crazy, I can't concentrate, all I think about in class is why I'm so bad, why I'm such a loser, I can't do anything, I'm lazy, I'm arrogant, I'm often dizzy, like there's a pile of paste in there, I can't listen to the class at all, and I can't even write the questions, but I don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm always distracted, and I don't want to go out because I'm ugly, and I don't want to go out sometimes. The thing that scares me most is that sometimes I suddenly get flashes of certain things that people have said to me, and then I feel helpless and angry and hate myself, and once I almost lifted up the table in front of the public and got angry. There's no desire to cry, and I talk and laugh with people normally, but I just feel like something's wrong and I'm all groggy. Recently, my grades have been dropping like crazy, and the more they drop, the sadder I get, and the more I feel like I'm useless and deserve this, but I don't want to stop going to high school, and I don't want to become a \"non-normal child\" either. What's wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject little sister, hello! Near the midterm, the pressure of learning, physical discomfort, coupled with violent fluctuations in emotions, surrounded by fear, fear, depression, can feel you now worse state, hug you Oh. Once the experience, \"not good\" some things, thought to have been in the past, in a special state to be stimulated, so that the original feelings more intense. l physical deterioration, a variety of physical symptoms, emotional loss of control l concentration, distraction, listening to the class, the grades fell seriously l hallucinations, flashed other people's attack language on the ego of the negative evaluation: useless, negativity, the negative evaluation of the self. Negative evaluation of self: useless, negativity, followed by worry, fear, no high school, fear of becoming a \"non-normal child\", and now seems to have entered an inner circle to close themselves up, unable to get out. Physical discomfort - performance decline - self-denial - physical discomfort, wireless cycle, mutual cause and effect. The midterm is approaching, the subject needs to break the circle, from this cycle to get out. Currently the most important problem: First, the body's discomfort reaction, but also need to ask parents to bring to the hospital in time to seek medical attention, although some reactions from the psychological, but physical symptoms, a short period of time need to be treated through medication can be effective, to ensure a good state to meet the examination. Second, stress relief, emotional relaxation. One of the sources of pressure, worried about the future did not happen, can not read high school, become a problem child, these are unrealistic ideas, when these ideas, you can remind yourself in time to terminate the idea, pull back to reality the source of pressure two, learning to pay attention to the lack of concentration, grades slipped, learning, these are too much anxiety caused by the emotions, appropriate adjustment of the mindset, you can appropriate sports exercise! The third, the subject's anxiety, fear and worry, is related to those things that have been experienced, lack of security, too low self-esteem, very low self-evaluation, these psychological feelings also need to be further explored and researched, at the end of the examination, you can seek professional The help of a psychological counselor can be sought after the exam. The midterm, is just one of the many exams you have experienced, the results of the exam can not be used as a key measure of your success, the end of the exam, some of the body's symptoms will naturally be relieved, I hope my answer can give you a little bit of warmth, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, first of all a little hug to you. Sort out the owner's problems: \ufe0fhave had bad experiences, hard to forget \ufe0fnear the exam poor state, physical health decline \ufe0ffeel bad, self-denial \ufe0foften emotional breakdownsSo why did these problems ariseThe difficulty of letting go of the bad things, a long time of repression instead of letting it build up even more. The stress of midterms makes you incredibly anxious and confused about your future. Stuck in an emotional loop, constantly thinking about your shortcomings, wanting to change but not wanting to. Thinking too much and putting too much pressure on yourself. So much so, and how do we regulate ourselves. Think more about whether it's worth it. What happened has already happened, we don't have Doraemon, there is no time machine for us to start over, even if we think about it a thousand times or ten thousand times more, nothing will change, the only thing that will happen is that it will make our lives even more sad. We are still young, there is still a lot of time to make our today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow even better, why should we stick ourselves in a thing that is not happy? We are in the best years of our lives, we still have so many possibilities, so many chances, let bygones be bygones, it's not worth it to think about it. Give yourself a chance to relax. In fact, I have a similar experience with you, in my senior year countdown hundred days of that time, but also I have been the most difficult period of time until now. At that time, I would have frequent headaches, a major emotional breakdown every two days, wanting to study but unable to learn anything, but the countdown on the blackboard won't stop for you in the slightest. Fifty days before the college entrance exam, I made a decision: take a vacation and go home. This is a very courageous thing, at least for me, since I was a child, I have not taken a few vacations, and just so close to the college entrance exams, such a period of time, I decided to go home. But I realized that even if I didn't go home, I couldn't learn anything, so it might be better to be alone for a while. And that night is also a night full of torment, can not sleep all night, want to cry and afraid of being heard, later, I realized a truth, just try to go, no matter one or two is the result of my own efforts, at least I have struggled, the rest will be left to the results. Every day, I cheer myself up and praise myself. In fact, many people will produce the idea of low self-esteem, many people will more or less take their own shortcomings and other people's strengths to compare. But each of us is a unique self, each of us is not reproducible self, we should not also have a prejudiced vision of themselves. Learn to praise yourself, encourage yourself, and slowly you will realize that you are also very beautiful, life is also very beautiful. Do you know Eileen Chang? At that time, she was an anomaly in the eyes of many people, but her self-confidence, her pride, made her every moment so unique and full of charm. Compliment yourself and make yourself a charming person. Relax and work hard towards tomorrow. In fact, there are a lot of things are not as difficult as we think, just like when I, in fact, the worst result is just to read a college, as long as I choose a good professional, bitter four years, I can still earn a lot of money. From your account you can see that your foundation is not bad, as long as you relax and work hard to prepare for the examination, I believe that the results will not let you sad. Life is just a few decades, why let yourself indulge in pain. We still have too many things to do, too many unfulfilled wishes, the world is so big, may we all go to see. Finally, let's cheer together!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Cuddles little Nike, soon will be the midterm, one will certainly have a lot of pressure, such as from parents and teachers' expectations, test scores of the float and so on. When all the pressure is piling up on oneself, there will certainly be some discomfort, so sometimes we need to learn to reduce pressure. In the current situation, we can first from the physical to check, such as their physical discomfort is psychological reasons, or really uncomfortable? If necessary, we can ask our parents to take us to the hospital to do a comprehensive examination, first of all, the physiological aspects of the factors to be checked. Second is our psychological aspects, there are about 20 days to the midterm, the recent period of time we can do a little less exercises, first adjust their own state of mind, it can be seen that the subject of the basic knowledge is still very solid, just due to psychological pressure is relatively large, a lot of times can not calmly think. When our mind is more relaxed, it is easier to concentrate on things, we are not as bad as we think, for some of the words of others, we can have their own ability to recognize. For example, which are deliberately denigrating us, which are we do have problems, when we can not identify themselves, can also talk to the elders or parents around us, tell their own confusion, together to find solutions to the problem. The reason why our grades have not been satisfactory lately is that we have not been able to think calmly, and many questions that we would have done are not easy to figure out because we are not concentrating, so we can list all the problems that we think we have first. See which problems can be solved independently by yourself, there is no solution, which problems need help from others, of course the questioner can also send these to Xiaofan potpourri, let's face it together, okay? The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello aca ~ giving you a warm hug \ufe0fproblems grades are slipping, can't concentrate sometimes feel ugly, embarrassed to go out, worried about not doing well on exams, whole giddy. \ufe0fAnalyze you said because you went through something before, I don't know what it was, was it because of a relationship? Their grades began to decline, and close to the midterm, so they will be very anxious inside, afraid that they will not do well in the exam, and with this, their body will also react and begin to get sick. After some of the column reaction probability is also because of your grades decline, so now the key is to solve the grades decline, anxiety of this psychological. \ufe0f small ideas 1, learn to let go of the past to see your description, not so good thing, you also said the past, the past experience is very bad, then it is not worth to stay, not to mention now because it affects your normal life today, and even affects the grades. That is to say this thing is not good for you, just make yourself worse, then this thing is not worth being remembered, no value, learn to let go of the past, in order to better meet the future. \"Do not bring yesterday's to today's people and things!\" 2, heart amplification, mind stabilization you say is a recent decline in performance, that means that the previous results are still good, the midterm examination is your three years of knowledge in junior high school, not to mention the recent decline in performance is because of their own poor state of mind. Share a sentence, standing in front of the ability is the mentality, the only good mentality to achieve good results. I just recently slipped, but the knowledge of the brain is still there, as long as the mindset is stable, the midterm will be able to play normally. Now to do, is to put down the results, do not have to dwell on, will look at their own wrong book, before the examination can still see how much to see how much, do their best, then there will be no regret. I hope you do well in the midterm. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! You can feel the OP's suppressed anger, anxiety, and fear inside. For the OP, they are currently facing the pressure of the high school entrance exam, compounded by the stress caused by past experiences. It can be said that these pressures have exceeded the OP's psychological limit, but the OP cannot unload these pressures and does not know who to turn to for help or what to do, so they can only live in this anxious, uncomfortable, and painful state. Many people often fail to realize that the high school entrance exam not only means leaving a familiar learning environment and entering an unfamiliar one, but also signifies another step in personal growth and further separation from parents. Therefore, when facing such an exam, many people's hearts are filled with conflict and pain. On one hand, they want to achieve good grades and enter their ideal school to pursue their ideal life, but on the other hand, they fear the separation from their parents and losing the emotional connection with them, or they are afraid of hurting their parents. Combined with the pressure from studying and the expectations of parents and teachers, the pressure on oneself during this stage is extremely high and overwhelming. The OP's sore throat and stomachache from a physiological perspective are caused by discomfort in the stomach. They can consider taking some over-the-counter drugs for stomach problems, such as Maalox. Once the physiological issue is resolved, their mental and emotional state will also improve. From a psychological perspective, it can be said that the excessive suppression of anger and self-attack in the OP's heart is due to the subconscious self-concern that attacking others would cause harm to them and potentially greater harm to themselves. Therefore, this aggression is directed inwardly to protect both others and oneself. It can also be said that the subconscious self-hopes to gain desired attention and care by inflicting self-pain and suffering, in order to meet their emotional needs. The OP's feeling of being \"so terrible, so useless, not good at anything, lazy, and arrogant\" and expressing dislike for themselves reveals a strong self-denial and rejection in their heart, with somewhat paranoid thoughts and high self-expectations, seeking perfection. They want to pursue their ideal self but are unable to achieve this pursuit in real life, causing their self-needs to remain unfulfilled, thereby deepening subconscious self-denial and increasing anxiety and unease, further fueling the desire for perfection. The OP does not know the reasons behind these pressures, which can be attributed to the lack of sufficient understanding and awareness between their conscious and subconscious selves. Furthermore, the OP's attention is \"focused\" on how to alleviate their anxiety, discomfort, and suffering, naturally leaving them with less energy to focus on studying, which in turn affects their academic performance and leads to a significant decline. Based on the information provided by the OP, their situation can be seen as a series of physical and mental problems caused by a severe lack of self-confidence and a sense of security suppression. They can consider expressing these thoughts and feelings to their parents, seeking their understanding, acceptance, recognition, and support, in order to release and alleviate the pressure in their heart, promote deep communication and understanding with their parents, improve their relationship, and maintain a stable, harmonious, and intimate emotional connection with them. Then, they can face these problems in a more relaxed and natural manner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Does the subject have any concerns about failing the midterm? The inability to concentrate may be that now you find some questions too difficult for you, or that the brain is in a state of fatigue, unable to effectively process information, and thus unable to concentrate. The subject said, now the closer the state of the midterm the worse, the physical condition has become very poor, three days a laryngitis five days of stomach pain, obviously very healthy before. The grades are falling like crazy, I can't concentrate, all I think about in class is why I'm so bad, why I'm such a loser, I can't do anything, I'm lazy, I'm arrogant, I'm often dizzy, like there's a pile of paste in there, I can't listen to the class at all, I'm writing a question and I realize I can't even understand what I'm talking about, I'm always lost in thought, and I sometimes feel like I'm an ugly monster who doesn't want to go out. Don't judge yourself like that. The midterm is indeed a crossroads in your life, but it doesn't mean you won't become a good person later. So you're worried about failing the midterm, just admit it and don't make too many explanations about it. We have to adjust ourselves, deep breathing, self-suggestion, 2 minutes meditation. Before studying, we can adjust our body's state by taking deep breaths and relaxing our whole body. Through positive self-suggestion, (I'm working hard, I can do it) to regulate our emotional and mental state. Then we establish goals, results-oriented, before studying, set a good goal for themselves in advance, set the tasks to be accomplished, the indicators to be achieved. Without goals, we do not know what degree we need to do, do things without standards, it is easy to slack off, with a goal there is motivation, easier for the brain to stay focused. This implementation of the goal does not need to be too long-term, to short-term can be quantified. For example, this 25-minute period of time, I need to complete what work, to what extent. Then we have to have a good work and rest, work and rest, every once in a while to take a break, helps to relax the brain, relieve fatigue, too tired to concentrate, can be a wash face, walk, eat something and so on. Stick to sports and exercise, improve your body, regulate your emotions, reduce stress and anxiety, your concentration is also more likely to be improved. Study should be serious, but do not have to overburden yourself, just study hard.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18042
       },
       {
        "question": "Once you have negative emotions it is hard to come out of them, how should you get rid of them?",
        "description": "It's that I realized that I don't know how to deal with my negative emotions, and once I have them I have a hard time getting out of them, and it's painful too, but there's not knowing how to deal with it and trying to get out of it",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotional Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi Owner, Hugs to Owner, We all have a lot of negative emotions. But these negative emotions may not be shown at some times. But just because he's not being shown doesn't mean he's not. Especially sometimes at night, people are more prone to be sentimental, and maybe all those not-so-good emotions come out at night because it's quiet at night. Today, people's lives are so full that they don't have time to think about the things that make them unhappy. But at night it's quiet, and you're probably thinking about these negative emotions. In fact, these negative emotions are most likely all due to too much stress in general. While we try to live a positive life, we also need to pay attention to the combination of work and rest, and to relax properly when we are stressed. People can not always be in a very tense state, this is not good. And we live always have to look forward, can not always live in the past memories can not come out. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1828
       },
       {
        "question": "It's really hard during exams, anxiety, not sleeping all night?",
        "description": "Summer vacation two months at home to study for the exams have been trying to control their own emotional stability but occasionally still can not control will be sad will be cranky Originally I am a perfectionist people study hard self-esteem is also strong this summer vacation to go outside the study room to study quietly but mom and dad three or two days to ask me to study how well I'm very disgusted can still learn how well I must be very serious every day to learn ah Otherwise, I spend money to go out to learn! Why? They have always been to put pressure on me will not ask me if I am happy always comfort themselves to encourage themselves to reduce pressure are my own originally I have very high requirements for themselves consciously do not like others to stress the importance of me to put pressure on my mother last night my mother said that other people's children are on to the doctoral degree you have to go to graduate school ... ... difficult for me last night night night I did not sleep well I understand that this is what they want to compare Instead of caring whether I am really happy originally I learn well they three days a sentence learn how to learn how much the whole I suddenly did not read the mood of my heart to resist that will be another day to learn not to go in I hope that I learn because I myself know that I should learn and my interest rather than hoping to force forced is really difficult ......",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ first to the owner of a hug, from the description can be understood 1. in the examination, the owner can arrange their own learning 2. but parents are always on their own words to urge and supervise, it seems to be in order to compare with others, but let the owner of boredom [a little bit of analysis and recommendations] 1. communication is the best way to solve family problems, the owner now need a quiet life in the examination environment, you can put forward this reasonable request to the parents, and tell them that their supervision and verbal inquiries every day and did not give their own help, but rather reduce their interest in learning, clearly express their own ideas, on the one hand, to vent their emotions, on the one hand, but also be able to let parents understand their own ideas. 2. If you really can not communicate with parents, parents still want to continue to ask yourself, the owner You can go home before you prepare yourself psychologically, keep telling yourself \"go back after mom and dad will say some nonsense, I don't need to leave them\" and so on the idea, and then really face the parents nagging time, will feel better. I hope it will be helpful to the owner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15207
       },
       {
        "question": "Why on earth would someone with no aspirations and no pursuits want to work hard?",
        "description": "Obviously I'm the one with no aspirations and no pursuits, why do I have to work hard?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Whenever it's late at night, or when I'm in trouble, I often ask myself what I'm fighting for. I know very well that it is for the expectation of my parents! My parents came from the countryside, and both of them came to the city to work hard, and also had to take care of our siblings and the four old people in our hometown, which was very hard. Although their education to us is very simple and rough, but it cultivated our tough and unyielding character! My brother and I both worked hard in our respective positions through our own efforts, and our incomes were more than adequate! Our parents seldom praise us, only often can be heard from neighbors or relatives from our parents and they praise the two of us! So I can't let my parents down! My mother often nagged me, we must fight for ourselves, do not be looked down upon, do not follow her old path, no stable job and income, how to support themselves and future children can not talk about their own hobbies and dreams to pay for! We came to this world, not a person alone to come, is the mother and we struggle together to come to this world! So I hope you can work hard for yourself and your family!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "All human behavior is to satisfy an inner need, there is a deep psychological need for you to make the effort, it's a subconscious drive that you just can't contemplate on a rational level. Maybe there is pressure to survive, maybe to compete with your siblings for love, maybe to make your parents love you more, maybe to punish someone. This needs to be explored systematically.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12828
       },
       {
        "question": "High school student, happy with classmates, comes home with a sense of loss?",
        "description": "In the campus and classmates are always very happy, once back home after the quiet will be a little panic, the psychological always have a strong sense of loss, as if not to find friends to chat, I do not know what to do, always suffer from loss, think about some of the no, worry about a lot of unlikely to happen, or will happen, always worried about the day around the friendships fade, especially sentimental love of the old, and even just look at the kind of reminiscence of the past articles or memories of small videos will affect the mood for a long time. Even just watching an article or a video of reminiscence will affect your mood for a long time, and you can't control your emotions, always thinking about the past and worrying about the future.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Stress, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Subject From your description, it seems that you like a lively atmosphere and do not like, or are not used to, being alone by yourself. When you are with others, you can be distracted from ruminating and worrying too much. But once you're on your own and quiet, you can't help but think about a lot of things. Worrying about the future, thinking about the past, while only not living in the present. However, we can't be with people all the time, no one can be with us twenty-four hours a day, forever, getting used to being alone and learning to be alone is an ability we must learn. So, I think, you can try to practice your ability to be alone. You may not be able to control your rambling thoughts at first, but try to distract yourself by doing something relaxing and enjoyable on your own. With more practice, I think, you can also manage to be comfortable and enjoy yourself even when you are alone. I think that a meditation practice should suit you well. Meditation, under the guidance of a guiding word, focus on your heart and feel your body. There are a lot of meditation exercises in the Meditation Sky Sphere that you can try. You may not be able to do very much concentration at first, it's okay, and don't beat yourself up, take your time, practice more and more, it will get better and better. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20621
       },
       {
        "question": "How can a gay man who has been a voyeur since childhood change his voyeurism?",
        "description": "It's a shame to say this. Since I was a kid, I like to peek at the same sex when I go to the bathroom, and gradually realized that I am not only a gay, but also a \"voyeur\". I was diagnosed with bi-directional affective disorder half a year ago and have been taking medication for it. Now I don't have much of a sex drive, but I do have a peeping tom fetish, and I can't get an erection without looking at photos at the worst times. I know that voyeurism is wrong and I have asked my psychiatrist for advice on this but there is not a viable solution. Please help me teachers, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Treatment Methods, Pathological Personality, Mental Disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "666666 (Self-study) The language is clear and the narrative is complete. The subject himself is well aware of what the problem points are. Suggestion - Behaviorist therapy. Pair with cognitive therapy. Increase self control over self. (Self-regulation please) i.e., the self and the desire to agree to reduce the number of times, in exchange for other how many rewards. Quantitative change for qualitative change. (Similar to the example of successful gambling cessation by following Netflix).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9131
       },
       {
        "question": "Repeatedly continuing and ending after empathizing with a counselor has me struggling?",
        "description": "After empathizing with the counselor, when projecting negative empathy towards her, I want to run away and say it's over. But end and make myself very difficult, painful, I went back, this has been repeated several times, each time I went back, I was afraid that I could not continue, will express a lot of feelings to her, touched (this four years of counseling process she brought me touched, thank you, like her) Similarly I also got the same response, her touched, recognized. In fact, this is a very satisfactory answer, but not long after I began to doubt and distrust her again (should also be a kind of empathy). It seems like it feels like every time I go back, I have to prove whether her feelings for me are real or not. Feeling entangled in this counseling relationship is really aggravating me, and fleeing from each negative empathy is also agonizing me. It feels like it's not right to go back (painful) and not right to go in (entangled in the counseling relationship) what the hell am I supposed to do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, diagnosis of diseases, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject says that this counseling relationship has brought you a lot of things, touches, thanks and a liking for the counselor, and that you have received the same response, touched and acknowledged by her, and that it can be described as a relationship of high quality. Then you go ahead and keep those feelings and pieces in mind, and every time you are going to start questioning the counselor again, you go ahead and think about how much she likes you and how much she has helped you, and go ahead and convince yourself that your distrust might have been brought about by something inside you, and is not the truth. You might want to discuss with your counselor why you feel distrustful of her, and getting your inner dialogue out will help you to look at some of your thoughts. For example, if you had an appointment with your counselor to meet on Friday, but she had something come up and missed the appointment, you instantly felt lost and began to suspect again that your counselor's feelings for you were not genuine. At this time think about the fact that she just missed an appointment once, and she has not gone out of her way to help you dozens of times before. In addition, her family may really have an emergency and can not get away, not against you, but she really can not cope. Or maybe she's willing to take the risk because she trusts you and feels that one small missed appointment won't affect the deep emotional bond between you? The emotional feelings that come with thinking differently could be completely different. Of course, the subject should be very like this counselor, all will be a little affected by the feeling of loss. At this time I think you need to properly put the feelings away, do not put all the emotions in a person, so you will always be disappointed. Because someone else has her center of gravity, her family, her lover, she can't always come to fulfill your emotional needs, can she? The subject can think about what is the purpose of his counseling? Is it to solve some of your own confusion? For example, some people are to treat depression, relieve anxiety, improve self-confidence, solve life problems, etc., so what is your purpose, the counselor has to help you achieve? If there is help advice to focus on this is enough, the other time is more lost if you can find other partners, or find some of their favorite activities to enrich themselves, distraction, you will not always think of her. Focusing more on yourself rather than looking to the outside world might help your current situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Kisses and hugs, you seem to have a lot of uncomfortable feelings in this counseling relationship. Each time you run away, it may be because the counseling relationship makes you feel bad, and you want to escape from the relationship, so you choose to \"retreat\". What is the point at which you feel distressed after running away? Did you lose the relationship? Or did you lose the care you had? I don't know. But I'm sure your counselor can sense your empathy. Why don't you discuss your feelings with her openly and honestly, and what you really think and feel under the two states of \"in\" and \"out\", so that she can better empathize with you and understand the inner tangles and pain. In this relationship, in fact, both of you are the protagonist. Only by speaking sincerely about your inner feelings, and not being afraid of the harm that truth brings, can you grow up in nirvana in the midst of the pain, and can you make the counseling relationship go one step deeper. If it really makes you feel hard in the relationship, you can propose to change the counselor and see if the addition of a third party will make you see some parts that you can't see in the current counseling relationship and grow more spiritually. I hope my advice helps, world and I love you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14973
       },
       {
        "question": "Not part of the expression, conflict with people, I hate myself for not being brave enough?",
        "description": "I hate myself for not being articulate, I hate myself for being afraid to reach out to the opposite sex of my heart, I hate myself for being afraid of conflict with people, and I hate myself for not being brave enough.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Although there are only a few words, I can feel that you are dissatisfied with yourself, and you use the word \"hate\" with strong feelings. But at the same time, I also see that behind the hate, you still have expectations, you expect yourself to be good at expression, you expect yourself to dare to contact with the opposite sex of the heart, expect yourself not to be afraid of conflict with others, expect yourself to be brave. When these expectations are not fulfilled by yourself, you blame yourself. Can blaming yourself help you to fulfill your expectations? When things don't happen as we want them to, we often like to respond by blaming ourselves. For example, if you go on stage and don't perform as expected, you will unconsciously start blaming yourself for not saying XX at the time when you get off the stage. When you are late for something important, you blame yourself for not going out earlier. There are a lot of examples of this kind of thing, and by blaming yourself, the matter seems to be over. But why do we form such \"habits\"? Think back to when you were a child, how did your parents respond when you did not do well in a test? If parents were faced with a situation where they \"didn't do well\", they would have lectured and taught, \"Why didn't you do this question correctly? This is how you should solve the problem.\" Or, they may teach with a stick. By making yourself physically or psychologically uncomfortable in this way, the situation of \"not doing well in the exam\" will be over. But is it really over? Not really. The next time you take the test, the situation occurs again. By making oneself physically and mentally uncomfortable over and over again, this pattern of blaming oneself is reinforced, thus forming a \"habitual\" pattern, and when one grows up and encounters similar events, this button is triggered to protect oneself from the low mood of \"not doing well\". Emotions. When I was young, I didn't know how to deal with it, so I was forced to learn such a coping pattern. Now that I'm grown up, do I still need to use such an ineffective coping pattern? When you want to express yourself, you have the strength to do so, but you use it to attack and blame yourself, so you don't have the strength to think about how to express yourself. Everyone has the power within them to be a better version of themselves, they just use it in different directions. Good luck Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject ~ I don't think you should hate such a self, but rather love such a self. Although this kind of self is a bit weak in the situation you described, but in most of the situations can protect you very well. But you can't become braver and stronger overnight, you need to improve yourself slowly. You can read more books on communication, there are actually a lot of skills. If you don't have the courage to talk to strangers, talk to yourself in the mirror, and see how you express yourself in the mirror is easier to accept. Secondly, you can first communicate with your friends around you, from which you can find some key points in communication, and for the heart of the opposite sex can also be first contacted by writing letters and other traditional ways first. Again do not be afraid to conflict with others, you have to think differently, conflict with others or quarrel is a way to quickly understand each other, perhaps can quickly promote the solidity of feelings. Just bold on the exchange, only in practice you can grow. Finally, you can make some plans to improve your courage, such as from the dare to express different opinions to friends, to dare to express their own opinions in front of the team; from the dare to ask strangers for directions to the dare to social occasions and the first time to meet people to talk, step by step, you will be brave up.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1111
       },
       {
        "question": "What if my parents keep harassing me about dating?",
        "description": "When my boyfriend and I go on shopping dates, my parents always call and harass me, asking where I am and why I'm not back yet. I actually explained to them before I left the house, but they still had to harass me. When I got home, they asked me like a prisoner for half an hour. I know they are doing it for my own good, but I feel annoyed again, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, you can never have enough of our parents' concern for us, because in their eyes, we are still children and can be hurt. From your description, you can feel that you are upset and helpless due to your parents' excessive interference with you and your boyfriend during and after their dates. That is, you can relate to your parents' concern and care, but you would love to have a lot of space and freedom for yourself. It's not clear if your parents are as inquisitive and caring when it comes to other things you do? Or are they only like that when it comes to things involving your boyfriend? If it's the former, maybe your parents are more spoiled and aren't very comfortable with your autonomy and independence, and maybe you're also more dependent on your parents, being well-protected and having enough love under their care in everything. If it is the latter, your parents may be a little dissatisfied or concerned about the boyfriend you have, afraid that you will be hurt or not be able to do a good job of self-protection, or maybe you do not have a lot of experience in relationships, they are worried that you will be at a disadvantage. It's great that you can understand your parents' behavior, and it shows that you have the ability to push yourself to be aware, which is good. Allow yourself to grow to the point where they are comfortable enough to reduce the interference between them with concrete proactive actions. After understanding your parent's behavior, it may be that your emotions will calm down a bit, but if you still feel that their words and actions are more than a little worrying, try some ways to reassure them. First, inwardly, express their feelings, that is, they have grown up, have good self-protection ability, also know some of the methods of getting along between men and women, when encountering problems, they will take the initiative to inform them, they can rest assured; and, they are serious about this relationship, the boyfriend's character and love for you, are trustworthy, and I hope that they believe in their own choices. Secondly, every time you go out, you can roughly tell them what places you will go to, probably at what time to come back, in arriving and leaving a place, you can send a simple message, take the initiative to give them some signals, maybe they will not bother you many times. When you get home, you can also take the initiative to express some of your feelings about going out to play, whether it's good or bad, you can talk to them more about it, if you are an only child, there may be no other center of gravity in their life except you. If you choose to take the initiative to communicate and share, not only will your parents find you reliable, but they will probably ask a lot of questions the next time you go out. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17336
       },
       {
        "question": "Always getting yourself into conflicting, complex thinking, and thus moody and miserable?",
        "description": "It feels like I face a lot of things easily generate inner conflict, thinking complex. Then the thinking can not break out of the emotional stuck in it, unhappy. Sometimes by some words of friends to wake up, will be clear, comfortable. At this time, I feel that things themselves can be very simple, but I think it is complicated. I've been working as a designer for 5 years, but I had a break of more than 1 year, and now when I continue to do it, I realize that I can't do it anymore. I feel that my thinking is very focused on the exact answer and complexity, and I don't seem to have any creativity anymore. Thinking is a bit rigid. I've asked a lot of my design coworkers about this, and they all say that I'm the one who's thinking about complexity, and that design can be very simple and not so complicated. What's wrong with me (or my thinking)? What are the symptoms? Why is it like this? What can I do to change it? Because I like design work very much, and I don't know how to do anything else but design, so I'm still suffering from this situation.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsive, confused, cluttered",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, the subject said in the face of things, the inner conflict is very easy to produce, can I understand that, when the subject is facing something, the brain thinking is very complex, that is, worried about this, and worried about that; that is, to take care of themselves, and to take care of others; that is, want to do this, and want to do that, a lot of thinking, hesitation. If this is the case, the root cause of the subject's confusion is actually inner \"anxiety\", and why is there anxiety? Why is there inner conflict? Is the subject lacking a sense of security? SanShan thinks that the subject can look back at his family of origin and his upbringing to see if he is deficient in this area. Because the formation of a person's personality is a long process, the thinking mode is also affected by the personality, the subject's anxiety and uneasiness is related to it? Moreover, the subject mentioned that he had more than five years of design experience but took a break of more than a year, so is there something else going on here? As for the subject's concern about not being able to design and not being creative anymore, San Shan doesn't think it's a big deal. It's not that the person doesn't know how to design, it's that the skills are not skillful and the passion for the work is not there anymore. In fact, stopping for more than a year is not a good thing, because continuous work and learning, will encounter a bottleneck, and then want to break through is very difficult. When appropriate rest and adjustment, you break through the past will be on a higher level. Therefore, the three good think that the subject is now the most critical is how to get out of anxiety, how to restore confidence? Buddha said that \"the phase is born from the heart\" Tao said that \"the road is simple\" there is hate, there will be love; there is bitter, there will be sweet; there is a stop, there will be forward; there are storms, there will be rainbows! This is the true meaning of life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description can feel your confusion and contradiction, encounter things will think especially much, thinking breakthrough can not also affect the mood and even unhappy. Design work needs inspiration and innovation, but you already have 5 years of experience, should be skillful, sometimes feel the thinking is rigid is not because of the recent pressure is relatively large, or the work requirements are relatively high, so you will be that is not satisfied or feel that their thinking is rigid, or think a lot of did not choose out of their own most satisfied with the creativity. In addition, design work needs innovation and inspiration, then you need to continue to learn new knowledge and broaden the knowledge and thinking boundaries, without limits. Therefore, in this current situation, the first suggestion is to analyze the reasons why it makes you feel that your thinking is dead or your creativity is declining. The second is to continue to learn relevant knowledge and learn from good designers, now there are many channels and ways of learning. There is more to make some friends in the design, regular exchanges, learning from each other, they can also play a role in your key moments to enlighten you. You can follow me to consult me, I hope to help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You have a lot of conflicts and tend to complicate things, which makes you very painful, while doing design is to find out the simplicity from the complexity, and if you can't get through to that final simplicity, it may affect your work efficiency. Suggest you talk to a counselor, with his help to find the cause of your conflict, to achieve change yourself, will help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject: complex thinking means too much thinking, which in itself is not right or wrong. Doing design may need more mood to feel to be inspired. However, if you use your brain more, the feeling part will be squeezed out. I think your love of thinking can perhaps be applied to obtain the customer's needs, to find more of the other side of the deeper needs, to design more in line with the requirements of the work. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21095
       },
       {
        "question": "Excuse me, is touching someone's breasts when you're a kid a sexual assault?",
        "description": "That person is our neighborhood, she let my grandmother take the child we also counted babysitting at that time he was 2.3 years old I was 10 years old at that time I just think her breasts are quite meat quite cute I hand cheap so I put in the speculation and touched it now know the wrong to see the person I feel particularly guilty especially sad I'm this counts as a sexual assault ah she will not have a shadow now how do I pay back to her it is a little unrealistic if I go to apologize for the words after all, all are in a neighborhood da",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, if you just made a gesture like that at the time and didn't do anything more excessive, it can't be characterized as sexual assault. You lacked a sense of right and wrong at the time, so as long as you now recognize the importance of respecting women, don't feel too much remorse and guilt. Regarding your description \"How do I pay her back?\" This is called to mention about the memory problem of children, everyone's memory is different, some people may still keep the special memory of when they were two or three years old, while others don't remember it at all. And memories are selective, we only choose memories that are memorable or very special, so it's hard to say about whether she remembers or not. If your behavior at the time made her feel weird, or uncomfortable, or cast a shadow over her, chances are she'll remember that too. When she grows up and has a sense of right and wrong and understands the difference between the sexes, then it will automatically process the incident as a childhood shadow, or worse, it may evolve into self-loathing. Of course this is all conjecture, everyone is different, and maybe she can self-regulate, and people are not as fragile as we think. If you really want to pay back for your mistake, there are two ways to do it: one, try to have as little contact with her as possible, so as not to remind her of the incident. In fact, what you do is this thing is not very serious, and you do not mean it, so even if you two are the same neighborhood, you usually have to avoid going to her house to string, or find her to play, if she cares about it, then she will be sure to see you and remember to make her unpleasant things. Of course, whether she cares we do not know. Second, understand her character. The purpose of this matter is mainly to confirm that she has not because of these things you do have a childhood shadow, from then on the character of the big change (generally unlikely), become silent or sensitive. You don't need to know her character specifically, just pay attention to what her parents or friends say about her if you have the chance. I hope you can forgive yourself and be a man who respects women and has a sense of right and wrong.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6333
       },
       {
        "question": "Always prone to self-denial and self-doubt?",
        "description": "Since I can remember, my parents are constantly denying me, good grades is the merit of their care, poor grades is not their own efforts, sorry for their careful care. When I was a child, the most horrible thing was the New Year's Eve, and parents to go to pay tribute to the New Year, back always inevitably a rebuke, here did not do a good job, there and not polite, slowly will begin to self-doubt, think that they are left like they say that stupid, until they grow up and work, they still think I'm not good. So it is always easy to fall into self-denial because of their words.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ first give the owner a hug, from the description can be understood 1. parents and family members always deny themselves, do not recognize their own efforts 2. grown up parents continue to have denial of life things and instructions, the owner is often engaged in self-denial. A little bit of analysis and suggestions] 1.It is more gratifying to see that the owner realizes that he/she is in self-denial when he/she raises the question, realizes that some of the criticisms and accusations of his/her parents are unreasonable, and realizes that he/she is not that bad, but just denies himself/herself habitually.2. Maybe the owner can try to think more about himself/herself, and refer to his/her own ideas more and more preferentially. Before listening to your parents, think about how you judge yourself, try to keep the positive parts, weaken your parents' criticism, and maybe gradually increase the information about yourself. I hope this helps the owner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16401
       },
       {
        "question": "Despise yourself a lot, have low self-esteem, and always care about what people around you think?",
        "description": "Since childhood, especially low self-esteem and timid, always rely on parents and people around them, rarely alone when they are alone, think they are very bad, four years of college did not make any friends, and now the teacher's qualification certificate, want to test the editor, enrolled in the training course, the first day of class is particularly nervous and afraid, I don't know other people, sitting alone in the row, and did not talk to other people, the teacher class passed from my side, and sometimes put their hands on my The teacher passed by me in class and sometimes put his hand on my desk, I always felt that I was too timid and introverted, so I was targeted, and I was especially concerned about other students who didn't talk much and played with their cell phones by themselves, I didn't think I wanted to be like them, I thought I might be worse than them, and I felt envious of those bolder and more open-minded students who would look down on and even bully those who didn't talk much, and I felt that if I didn't talk much more, they would definitely look down on me and think that I was not good enough. They must look down on me and think I'm a bully. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Low self-esteem is not very easy to adjust and face the mentality, do not look at the word low self-esteem is very simple, easy to speak out, in fact, she reflects a person's character, the influence of the environment and the degree of social support around, usually a person with low self-esteem is a long time by the environment of the blow, such as parents, classmates, distrust and accusations, resulting in psychological pain and experience. Over time, they will become distrustful of themselves and what they do, and always feel that there will be problems in all aspects of themselves, thus creating a process of distorted thoughts and emotions. To adjust, this will be a long term phase, and in addition to adjusting psychologically, more social support as well as the power of companionship will be needed so that the individual's words can come out as quickly as possible, thus reaching the point of facing their own problems and adjusting. This is not your fault, but mainly the result of growing up in an environment and psychological state that cannot be adjusted. To face this problem, the best thing to do is to seek the help of a professional, that is, a counselor, to see if you can get adjusted through counseling and a reasonable plan. Secondly, you can read more books, listen to some courses, as well as usually can participate in some better social groups to help each other's activities, slowly let yourself out. This will take time and is not easy, I believe you can face your problems well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you a big hug! Hello subject! From your description of some of the confusion: [desire to socialize] grew up in the parents, did not experience too much of the world, and now you are very envious of those who are bold and cheerful people, their own very low self-esteem, very eager to want to change themselves. --Bravely out of the comfort zone want to change themselves then go to change, do not care too much about the eyes of others. Don't be too concerned about what others see. Don't think about others looking at you with bad ideas. In fact, people around you welcome you to chat and socialize with him. [Face yourself squarely, must be confident] fear of others to see you, but also desire the eyes of others to learn to see their own shortcomings and the advantages of others, choose to change that you have to learn to learn better, to learn from your envy of the people, and they communicate, tell their own self-confidence, want to change the confidence. I wish you all the best! The above is a personal opinion, if you need to please chat privately oh, need to be more professional, please look for more professional counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\ufe0fYour anxiety and fear of worrying I see, you're very good, passed the teacher's license, and training for the preparation of the test, positive and motivated is good. In fact, almost all of us have an inferiority complex, no matter how successful kanji people or withdrawal type of people, low self-esteem is not just a bad thing, it can motivate us to take positive action to strive for better motivation. \ufe0f low self-esteem of people more or less a little social anxiety, do not be nervous, since childhood, parents rely on four years of college did not make friends, quality of solitude is better than no quality of socialization, people would have been the difference between introverted and extroverted traits, often write a resume interview ah inner hope ah are happy to say that he or she is extroverted like to make friends and good socializing, HR know that inside there are masks disguised as extroverted, in fact, inside and outside of extroverted have strengths and weaknesses! In fact, both introverts and extroverts have their advantages and disadvantages, and in terms of psychology, we do not feel that extroversion is better than introversion, each has its own merits. Not introverted and low value sense of uselessness, low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. \ufe0f Envy of others who are subdued and calm is a psychological projection of hating your own nervousness and low self-esteem, feeling that teachers are paying attention to you, the truth is that 90% of people only pay attention to themselves and don't pay attention to others, overthinking that others don't like them, bullying them, social fear or social anxiety, you can avoid stimulation and not go to gatherings with large groups of other people. This is desensitization therapy, or you can be proactive in socializing, it's called full-on therapy. \ufe0f Just be true to yourself and accept your imperfections. Don't judge yourself or others harshly. The way others treat you is what you teach is a quote from a scholar and a book. Are you afraid of making a fool of yourself or saying the wrong thing in public that you don't want to be around people? There is a book, The Courage to be Hated, that lacks the courage to be hated, and that being cheeky and playful is an ability. Learn to have the courage to be hated. \ufe0f Be brave enough to live, to fail, to stumble, to succeed. Other people's business, your own business, God's business only your own business. No matter what others say, what was, what is, what will be do only what is. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello ah, hug you! 1. low self-esteem is normal in fact, low self-esteem is everyone more or less will have the emotion, and the source of this emotion is the contrast with others. Of course, everyone's different families will produce a different character, but the same family, different mentality, siblings will also form a different character, while the low self-esteem is the existence of a flood, because people will think: there is always better than you have a good life. In fact, everyone will think so, is not a big problem 2. owner of the self-psychological hints you say will feel cheerful and lively people will look down on you, bully you. But it's always the way you feel! Once I have thought so, but when I passed the classmate records in the class, everyone said I should chat more, because I smile very good ~ so can boldly open up with others to be bold, in fact, everyone wants to be with you! It is afraid that you will resist, as if you are also trying to figure out what they are thinking. 3. classmates of the course, of course, in addition to you, there will also be a person to study the students, you can try to talk to them ah! There must be people in the class who are familiar with themselves, you can observe their way of talking more, more close to them, in the environment and their own efforts to change the state of mind. You're great! Don't feel inferior, future teacher(\u0e51-\u0e51-\u0e51). -\u0e51\u0e51).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner of the hard work, I feel that this psychological pressure should be very big. After reading the owner's expression, if I understand correctly, should be mainly divided into the following points: 1) they feel inferior and small always rely on others. 2) other people do not like themselves against themselves. 3) do not dare to express themselves. Then I want to let the owner to answer a few questions, from the past to the present really did not once in the life, work and study with friends to socialize independently to complete a thing can be any one. If you think of it, go and remember how you felt at the time you did a favor for someone else, were you thanked? Sometimes it's not necessarily that you do things, it may be that you can't help but compare your own performance with that of someone who is extremely good at what they do, so you make yourself feel bad. For example, a person a day by their own efforts to earn 100 dollars, that at least there is a receipt, if this time to think about Bill Gates in a few seconds to earn tens of millions of dollars, this is not their own inexplicable pressure on themselves, you should not be so compared. Then is the owner of their own childhood is what the impact of a relatively bad experience, is the expression of bad criticized or what kind of, why would be so worried about the expression of bad things? In fact, we would not have been able to please everyone, and do not need to please everyone, the key is to do things to do people without shame to be kind to friends to help people in need of others will give you the same. You do not need to please those you do not like. In fact, your past will not limit you to become a better person, the key is what kind of life you really want to live, do what kind of yourself is to make you feel most comfortable, that kind of future is what you need, a lot of people you think is very good maybe also inwardly harsh on themselves, because they think they can be better. The fact that you are blaming yourself is actually dissatisfaction with the status quo, you want to change yourself, then go to learn and take leave of good people to let them help you is not bad, in fact, there really are not so many enemies, it is you who shut your own door. Come on, step forward, go to be the person you hope to become.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18191
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if my boyfriend speaks too vulgarly and offends me?",
        "description": "Listening to him talking to his friends today and talking about his other friends playing chicken and stuff like that turned me off? It's nothing like his persona in front of me. This is the second time it's been so vulgar and annoying and I'm reminded of a quality, good-tempered, very good boy I once missed. The fact that he says cocky so casually means that saying it off the cuff is habitual and has become a mantra. Boring.",
        "keywords": "Love. Love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, give you a warm hug (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 through your description I understand: (1) once felt very good boyfriend, now it is very disgusting (2) the owner feels that he speaks too vulgar next is my analysis and suggestions, I hope to help the owner: (1) first of all, love is beautiful, so the two people in love are also full of aura, in order to give each other the best impression in the their love of the In order to give each other the best impression, in front of their loved ones to keep perfect, so will always pay attention to their own image, and these vulgar words, but also will not say to their loved ones, so the owner's boyfriend in front of the owner is the image of a good temperament and excellent. (2) Secondly, the owner said that she discovered her boyfriend's vulgar words when she was chatting with his friends. Boys may chat with each other will also have their unique way of communication, in fact, not only your boyfriend, other boys are also like this when they are with their friends, it is normal. (3) In the end, the lover is not perfect, just because we like to gild the lily, and what the owner needs to do is to learn to accept, accept the imperfections of the lover, but also to learn to see the multi-faceted nature of a person. #World and I love you, good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16225
       },
       {
        "question": "How does a woman 40+ deal with her husband's emotional isolation?",
        "description": "Mr. is a family man, no bad habits, do not smoke, do not drink, do not play games, home will be busy doing housework. But Mr. has always been happy and angry, no excitement, no sadness, every day is the same, treating anything is passive, not demanding, not involved, as if he has been away from the outside of the home, it is difficult to feel the emotional link. You have emotions and he even thinks do you have to? What a big deal! What to do when faced with such a gentleman? I am feeling quite miserable.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Concepts, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! In fact, the first time I saw what you posted, I feel so envious that you have such a husband, how good, without any bad habits, home to do housework, and emotional stability, maturity and stability, such a husband can be said to be perfect, how can it still make you suffer? Some people say that women are water, men are shore. With such a good-tempered husband, you are not in his mood to indulge yourself in pampering tantrums, he will be very tolerant of you, like the water can roam freely, there are embankments surrounded by is safe. Isn't this good? Can carefully empathize with your feelings, think in fact your pain is also understandable, if you really live with such a man, may feel too flat, too passionless, like a pool of stagnant water. Will also be very tired, what things need to consider their own, take the initiative to move forward. It can be seen that really no one is perfect, nothing is perfect. All things have two sides, to which side of the extreme will have disadvantages. Therefore, there is no way we can demand perfection. For such a situation, it is recommended that you: 1. first psychologically adjust yourself, you have to realize that, in fact, for many women, you are lucky, your husband on the merits of how many people want to beg and beg not to come, you should be very secure. 2. take the initiative to mobilize his emotions, with the positive power to make him feel more family harmony, the world's beauty. Cultivate more positive emotions to influence him, this influence is best to be silent, slowly penetrate. 3. cultivate common interests, have a common topic of communication, common feelings, enhance communication. 3. let yourself learn to restrain, reduce what he thinks unnecessary negative emotions, both sides are neutralizing each other, to achieve harmony. 4. and walk and cherish. I hope that red rain's reply can help you, thank you for your question.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It sounds like you want to step into Mr.'s world, but find it difficult, and you want to invite him into your life, and it's hard. Mr. seems to feel very Buddhist to you, and seems to be a Mr. Nice Guy to outsiders, but it does seem to be very painful if you don't feel a link to Mr. Nice Guy. I wonder if you have had any serious communication about this? Was Mr. Nice Guy like this before or did he change later? I'm curious what it would have been like when you were in a relationship. If you can't find a breakthrough, try a counseling appointment.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description of the understanding, the face of Mr. \"has been happy and angry not in color, no excitement, no sadness, every day is a kind of, to treat anything is passive, do not ask, do not participate in, as if he has been away from the outside of the home, it is difficult to feel the emotional link. You have emotions, and he's all like \"Do you even have to? What a big deal!\" You are \"feeling quite distressed\" by this situation and want to find a way to cope with it. So, I wonder what kind of person you want your husband to be in your mind, and what your ideal husband would be like? I guess there are still a lot of affirming and accepting parts of your husband, as you said \"Mr. is a family man, no bad habits, no smoking, no drinking, no games, and will be busy doing housework when he comes home.\" When did you start to find it difficult to accept this characteristic of your husband, and how did you feel about this state before this? So, I understand that you feel that your husband is \"a little bit lacking in beauty\", is that right? Have you communicated with him about this? I think you and your husband's state of \"one still and one alive\" are quite compatible. The above is just my personal opinion, just for reference, take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1417
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a lot of guilt and self-blame for the death of a loved one due to my own reasons, what should I do?",
        "description": "Grandma died a week ago, acute heart attack, the day before she died actually had discomfort, I am studying medicine, at that time also guessed that it could be a heart attack, but then there is a fluke, think it may not be, maybe rest a little bit will be fine, and grandma is not willing to go to the hospital. The next day, I went to the village health center and had an EKG (I didn't know you could do EKGs here), and I was told it was a heart attack, so I called 120, and when I got to the hospital, the doctor said that I had missed the time to save my life, and that my hope was very slim. Here is a little background, my father and my grandfather died, leaving my mother and my sister, my mother and grandmother relationship is not good, my mother and my sister also do not come to visit grandmother. I was brought up by my grandmother, so I often came to visit her. Now that she's passed away, I feel guilty that it was my stupidity that led to my grandmother's death. And I also feel remorseful for losing my temper with her before and not having the patience to communicate with her, how do I get out of this emotion?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Anxiety, Guilt Shame",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "For many people of the older generation, when they are not feeling well, they seldom take the initiative to mention going to the hospital, and often say that they have nothing to do with it, and many minor illnesses slowly dragged into serious illnesses, not that they don't know how to feel sorry for themselves, but because they know that going to the hospital will cost them a lot of money, which they probably can't afford. Grandma died the day before the body is a little uncomfortable, when we mentioned to take each other to the hospital, the other is very resistant, perhaps because of this reason, although we guessed that there may be a heart attack, but because we know the seriousness of the heart attack, so inwardly reluctant to guess and admit, after all, in the medical aspect of the many symptoms are similar, if there is no test results, even if the experienced doctors do not dare to easily jump to conclusions! Without test results, even the most experienced doctors would not dare to jump to conclusions. Just later because we missed the best rescue time, so grandma left, we subconsciously began to blame ourselves, that they did not anticipate this situation led to grandma left, in fact, there are some things can not be avoided, simply imagine that the heart attack this disease is not a sudden occurrence, just the day before the death of the day we happened to visit grandma, and at that time there were also speculations in this regard, so we think that is ourselves did not save grandma. However, through the description of the questioner, we can feel that it seems that the mother and grandmother did not have a good relationship and that the father and grandfather had already passed away, so at that time, if we did go to the hospital for treatment, did we have enough money to save the grandmother back? Since the subject is studying medicine, he should have seen a lot of life and death, the most helpless situation in the hospital is obviously can be saved, but because there is not enough money but have to give up, and the grandmother's body is increasingly aging, so grandma must have been very peaceful when she finally went, so we really do not have to be too much remorse, after all, old age and sickness is no one can avoid. The reason why we get along with our grandmothers will have quarrels is because we know that in front of the people who love us they will tolerate us, I believe that grandma never took this matter to heart, grandma's last wish must be to wish us to live a better and better life, so we have to do is how to take care of ourselves, grandma didn't really leave us, she's always lived in our hearts, isn't it? The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "[I'm sorry, please forgive me, the length of life has been arranged long ago] I heard your story and I probably know it. You are the only one left in the family who is willing to be close to grandma, and you are the only one who can take better care of her, and you are studying medicine. Anything studying medicine, I know you all have a swearing-in ceremony to save lives. But when you see your own loved ones, you can't save them, and you feel that you have caused your grandmother to leave because of an error in judgment. As a result, you feel guilty and you beat yourself up for getting away with it. Let's see how we can resolve this complex emotion. [First] You actually love your grandmother I remember you said you had taken her to the nearby health center for medical treatment, which is the first kind of love you have for her. The mother and sister in the family have ignored her, only you take the initiative to care for your grandmother. In fact, you could have ignored her, but you didn't. I've always cared for her. This is the second kind of love you have for grandma. You blame yourself, also because you can't bear to see grandma go. It's because you don't want to let go that you blame yourself, and because you love her, you don't want to let go. This is the third kind of love you have for your grandmother. [Second] The length of life has long been arranged for each person's life and death, which is beyond their control. As the saying goes, \"The king of hell wants you to die on the third night, but he is not allowed to stay until the fifth night.\" The first case of neocoronavirus death in Hong Kong was in his thirties. There was a case of recovered neo-coronavirus in Guangzhou, and the patient was in his 80s. Originally, we thought that the resistance of young people would be stronger than that of the elderly, but it turned out that the young patient in Hong Kong still died. There is a classic line of dialog: \"Damnation doesn't make you sick.\" Those who really want to leave are not even allowed to be sick, they are simply allowed to leave. In other words, just sick, that it will not take away one's life. In other words, life and death have long been arranged. Grandma's life and death are not arranged by you, they are arranged by heaven. You're just an ordinary person. [Third] You've done your best even if you treat your grandmother early, that's just a chance, no one can guarantee that it's 100% okay. In addition, you usually go to the grandmother to take care of her, the family is only one person willing to go, you have done your best! What inspiration does this incident give you for your future career as a doctor? 1. Accept that you are a doctor, but you are no different from those who have not studied medicine, you are not God. You are just a human being. Doctors are also ordinary people.2. Just be a responsible doctorAs a future healthcare professional, it is most important to do what you are responsible for. What is beyond your ability, you don't need to take on too much.3. Medical treatment is not 100% safe and you have to hold the same mentality to your patients in the future, you can't say to your patients that it is 100% safe. The improvement of medical technology is only an aid to life, the quality of life. But the decision of the patient's life and death, always in the hands of God. 4. Respect the arrangement of God we have to learn to submit, we in front of God, really very small. We can only submit to it and work with it, not against it. Allow what happens in life. [Fourth] You are connected to your grandmother in another dimension Love knows no time or space, and even though Grandma is gone, the memories she has left you with, the love between your mother-in-law and grandchildren, are inseparable. I'm sure grandma also appreciates that you usually take care of her. You also properly appreciate grandma's life's contribution. I'm sorry, please forgive, forgive self and respect your limitations; I love you, thank you, thank you for grandma's contribution to your family, I'm sure you will honor your grandma in your heart, let grandma have a good journey! Bless you, namaste!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "I'm sorry to hear about the death of my grandmother, I'm sorry for your loss \ud83e\udd1d Let's go through the information given by the questioner \ud83e\udd1d The questioner mentioned that my grandmother passed away a week ago, and that she had an acute heart attack, and the day before she passed away, she was not feeling well, and she guessed whether it was a heart attack or not, but she had a chance to think that maybe it wasn't, and that she might be okay after some rest, and she was unwilling to go to the hospital. First of all, when the elderly are old, they are more or less uncomfortable. Although the subject is studying medicine, the subject is not a real doctor yet, and even doctors may encounter unavoidable situations, right? So you mention #fluke mentality here, and I'm thinking that other people would have that mentality too. Secondly grandma herself doesn't want to go to the hospital, you love grandma so much, there's nothing you can do to force grandma to do something she doesn't want to do, right? Not to mention that it's still in a situation where grandma isn't feeling well, right? The subject mentioned that by the next day, she went to the village health center, had an ECG (I didn't know that ECGs could be done here before), and was told that it was a heart attack, and then she called 120, and when she got to the hospital the doctor said that she had missed the period of saving her life, and that her hope was very slim. I think when the subject heard #Doctors said that they missed the rescue period#, is not very regretful and sad, hug the subject ~ but, you think about the situation at that time, maybe the illness for the grandmother is actually painful, grandmother herself should actually know their own situation at that time, that's why they refused to go to the hospital, right? The questioner mentioned a little bit of background here, my father and my grandfather both died, leaving my mom and my sister, my mom and grandma did not have a good relationship, my mom and my sister do not come to visit grandma. My mom and grandma didn't have a good relationship, and my mom and sister didn't come to visit grandma much. Grandma is really great, the closest person around is gone, plus the relationship with your mom is not good, maybe is not grandma also had a hard life? The subject was brought up by her grandmother, and in a certain sense, her grandmother is the subject's #second mom, so the grandmother's departure is a huge grief for the subject, hugs to the subject ~ but maybe we can try to think that the grandmother's departure is for the sake of an early reunion with her grandpa and her dad, so will the subject feel better? The subject mentioned that now that she's passed away, I feel guilty that my stupidity caused grandma's death. I also feel guilty for losing my temper with her and not being patient with her, how do I get out of this emotion? First of all, you should know that you only have more medical knowledge than normal people, you are not a real doctor, and your grandmother's death is because of the disease, so your grandmother's death has nothing to do with you, so don't magnify your problems too much and think that your grandmother's death is caused by yourself. Secondly, you mentioned here that you lost your temper with your grandmother before and didn't have the patience to communicate with her. Well, you really did not do these things right, but grandma is gone, and I don't think she will blame you too much in heaven. But you have to learn a lesson from here, and cherish the people around you, such as your mom and your sister, right? In the end, it's a fact that grandma died, and I hope the subject can see that. And turn the accusation against yourself into a motivation to study, learn your professional knowledge well, and then go to save more and more patients in the future, I think this is what grandma expects to see, right? It takes time to grieve, so don't be in a hurry, but don't let yourself be immersed in this sadness. The world and I love you, blessings to the subject, Jing Jing Ting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner: There are observed the owner's guilt and self-blame, and at the same time noted the owner's courage to express his own distress and seek help from outside, which can undoubtedly help the owner to better understand himself and look at the problem. The owner's affection for her grandmother was observed, as she had been brought up by her grandmother since she was a child and had developed a deep bond with her. Something happened before the grandmother's death, which was even more painful and remorseful for the owner. So now I'm going to share my observations, which may help the owner to have a richer perspective on herself.1. What is the best goodbye? What is the best goodbye for the elderly? My understanding is that in the last days of life, the quality of life is more important than the time limit of life. In the face of death, the elderly will be prepared to a certain extent. In their last days, they may not want to have too much fuss, and a peaceful transition to the other world is what most of them look forward to. It has been observed that the grandmother did not want to go to the hospital the day before. So this is also a side effect of the grandmother's own needs. Then in the last days of life, respect the needs of the elderly is much better than in the hospital to toss. 2, learn to express their emotions to the grandmother has observed the owner of the guilt and self-blame. Then the best way to face their own guilt and self-blame may not be to suppress their own emotions, but to learn to express their emotions. Emotions have the potential to evaporate once they are expressed or seen. So properly express your guilt and self-blame to your grandmother. The way you can do this is by writing a letter, expressing your guilt and remorse for your grandmother in a letter and asking for her forgiveness. The letter can then be burned to the grandmother at her grave or at her memorial table. You can also express your emotions directly to your grandmother at the grave and let your emotions flow. Emotions get reasonable venting, then it is possible to calm down. 3, learn to self-forgiveness of our own cruelty is often the last straw that crushed their own, on the contrary, our tender care for their own, will allow us to have the strength to go farther. So learn to self-care, self-forgiveness, will make ourselves more powerful. I believe that your loving grandmother does not want you to be so miserable and depressed. So learn to self-forgive and forgive yourself for what you can't forgive. Only then will you have the strength to go further yourself. Only then will your grandmother's kindness in raising you continue to be reflected in your body. Doing well for ourselves is the greatest reward for grandma. Grandma may have passed away, but some of her qualities, her caring have been carried on in you, and these will influence more people through you. So unload your burdens and travel light to influence more people.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is possible to see that the bond between you and your grandmother is very deep, because you were raised by her as a child. We have conflicts and lack of patience to communicate with our loved ones, all of these seem to be normal and a common phenomenon in normal times. It's only because of your grandmother's passing that you feel you were so wrong at the time. Think about it, if grandma hadn't passed away, we would have the same daily conflicts with our nearest and dearest as usual. It's just that now that Grandma has passed away, it aggravates this self-blame that you feel. We feel guilty saying how if I had been how I was, it probably wouldn't be the way it is now. The passing of a loved one is an inevitable part of life, although none of us want to face or see it because none of us want to deal with the pain of separation and loss, especially of someone we are attached to. But it's inevitable, it's a law of nature that we are born, we grow old and we die. When faced with the loss of our loved ones, we all develop a mental and emotional feeling of sadness, grief as well as self-blame. You may feel guilty because you think it was your fault that you were not able to keep your grandmother alive longer. It is important to realize that your grandmother's death was not your fault, it was due to a problem with her heart, and it was an acute heart attack that took her life. Life is unpredictable, everyone gets sick, we just do what we can to help her, for some unexpected things, but also all we do not want to see and do not want to happen. Maybe in the circumstances, you just out of a kind of the most favorable choice, because the premise is that your grandmother is reluctant to go to the hospital, if you have to force to take her to the hospital perhaps you will have a conflict over this again, which may also be detrimental to her heart, and you did not know that the village is able to do an electrocardiogram. So the decision you made then was the best one for the moment. It's just that everything is not in our hands or our control. You could have cried out, talked about it, or written out your feelings for your grandmother, and it would have been easier. When faced with the loss of a loved one, it takes time for each of us to slowly heal the pain we feel inside.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Perhaps your formulation becomes. The grandmother who must have died of an acute heart attack may, by some strong insistence of her own (if she can), be given a chance at a possible cure, with the result that it is not really known whether it can be saved, and whether it can be cured the next time it is committed after it has been saved. Much more factual. That original narrative of yours that your grandmother died because of your own problems. It's a distortion of the facts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You shouldn't put too much blame on yourself either. Your grandmother herself is not willing to go to the hospital, an old man, for their own situation is very clear. She didn't know that the village health center could do ECGs. It's the doctor's responsibility to treat the sick and save the lives of others, and you shouldn't put all the blame on yourself. You are studying medicine, through this experience to learn a lesson.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21835
       },
       {
        "question": "After the outbreak, I used my saved pocket money to donate, what if I regret it?",
        "description": "In January and February of this year, after the outbreak of the epidemic in full swing, I used my own pocket money to save up to donate the first 50 yuan, although the money is not much but I think it is a piece of my love, from the very beginning of the donation until the first two days I'm very happy, because I feel that I have made a modest contribution to the community, maybe my 50 can not play a big role, but it can let the patient a few more mouthfuls of oxygen, so that the medical staff with more I was very happy because I felt that I was making a small contribution to society. But until today my father unfortunately sick I launched a fundraising in the water drop fundraising but did not receive any donation, now I am very confused very sad sad, I do not know why this is the case, all good people have good rewards but the facts tell me that is not the case, I am now very regretful to donate that save 50 yuan even because of this and sad can not sleep!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. First of all, I think you are a very compassionate person. Your actions are very admirable and being helpful is a traditional virtue of our Chinese nation. You might think that your donation of 50 yuan doesn't make much of a difference during the epidemic, but in fact, that 50 yuan is making an impact in places you can't see. There may be someone who needs it exactly at that moment and you happened to donate it. We must believe that there are still more good people in this world, and there are many people with compassion. The main point of launching a crowdfunding campaign on Shuidi Chou is to make sure everyone sees it. Whether others help you or not, there could be reasons behind it. Maybe they are not financially well-off and still worry about their own meals for tomorrow. But that doesn't mean we should give up on helping others. Let's continue to spread the news about your father's situation, make it more real. And ask relatives, friends, and colleagues around you to help share it as well. Even if they don't donate, sharing can still be of great help to you. Wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your description and realizing your feelings, you are very puzzled: at the beginning, you didn't hesitate to donate the 50 yuan of pocket money you had saved up for a long time, thinking that you could contribute your own strength to the society, and you were very happy and thought that all people would lend a helping hand to the society. However, when your father was hospitalized and needed financial assistance, why didn't anyone contribute? Think back to the reasons why you decided to donate your pocket money in the first place. Now, your dad is sick and would also like to get financial support from well-wishers. What are the similarities and what are the dissimilarities between the situation in which you are in need of assistance now, and the situation in which you donated your pocket money at that time? You, are a kind child and a good thinker. Try it and see if you can unravel it for yourself, eh?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19059
       },
       {
        "question": "I seem to be suffering from lovesickness. What if I can't stop thinking about my teacher?",
        "description": "I was recently touched by the huge contrast in my high school homeroom teacher's attitude towards me...I've been thinking about how he used to see and treat me every day since the entrance exam...I want to cry (promise_ promise)",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm so glad to have met you here. Please let me give you a hug~ It is very common to remember a teacher so fondly and it is not associated with the so-called lovesickness~ but where do we begin to remember our teachers? Let's come together to discuss it the existence of turning points ~ has found can be found in the subject to observe the details of life, self-perception is very strong ~ (the teacher of the great contrast to you so that you are very touching, that this contrast will naturally exist then a turning point, may be the teacher's own experience, may be the teacher's view of you no longer with the past is similar to the teacher's view of the teacher's own experience, may be the teacher's view of you no longer with the past is similar to the teacher's view of the teacher. Various reasons may affect the teacher's attitude towards us. I remember in I had school period, a teacher can be said to be very strict, the students are also punished of discipline, and often accompanied by some scolding words. Because my teacher's old father died, to classmates on their own are more amicable. It also included our excellent grades, as well as the emergence of flashpoints in us. It could be that our grades have slipped and we have become what the teacher did not want us to be, and the teacher being disappointed in us does all affect the teacher's attitude towards us.) The teacher is also referred to as an authoritative object can be used to show that the subject's superego is very strong and lives a somewhat rationalized life. Or that the subject has a tendency to aspire to theoretical knowledge. And the teacher can act as this part of our yearning, and so also internalize the presence of the teacher to make a deeper impression. Life on the road to let us be touched by the people, thoughts ~ more gratitude hope can give the subject some harvest world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
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           },
           {
            "start": 19,
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           },
           {
            "start": 70,
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           {
            "start": 80,
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           },
           {
            "start": 184,
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           },
           {
            "start": 308,
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           },
           {
            "start": 412,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7545
       },
       {
        "question": "Fantasizing about a bunch of people talking in my ear, fantasizing is a real headache. Hypochondria?",
        "description": "Imagine a bunch of people talking in my ear, being watched, being talked about, and an invisible, unseen person talking to me. I suspect I'm suffering from hypochondria. Any of you with the same symptoms? Have you recovered?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Treatment Methods, Psychological Crisis, Mental Disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, you sometimes feel like you are being watched and talked about, with a bunch of people talking in your ear, and a non-existent person conversing with you and hugging you ~ it must be very hard for you to be in this kind of situation ## To be able to not tough it out on your own but to actively come here to seek help, you are very good. It is essential to actively seek support and help from those around you when you are experiencing mental distress.### It is recommended that you go to a tertiary psychiatric hospital in a timely manner to seek medical help, and medication is likely to be required for treatment. Follow the doctor's instructions for treatment and timely review, you can slowly get better. In addition, after communicating with the doctor, if it is suitable for psychological counseling, you can also medication with psychological counseling, can better help you Above is my little advice. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21942
       },
       {
        "question": "19 male, feeling like some of my thinking is stuck, how to build fantasy friends",
        "description": "Male, 19, although I have caring friends and family, I feel like some of my thinking is stuck. For example, the compulsion to do things perfectly, and procrastinate when I can't be perfect. Talking to people, I'm always sensitive to catching their reactions and feeling if they hate me or not. Although I know that I am overthinking the above and other situations, my body will experience unsettling feelings, such as shortness of breath, and when I have this kind of misguided thinking, I need to immediately communicate with the person concerned in order to eliminate the unsettling feeling in my body, but everyone around me needs to be busy with other things, and it is not possible for me to annoy them all the time, so I thought that it would be nice if I could build a fantasy friend who could be so real that it would seem as if she were studying and walking with me, so that I could have the ability to make the most out of it. So I thought it would be nice if I could build a fantasy friend who could be so real that it would be as if she were studying with me, going for walks, talking with me, etc. That would be great, and I wouldn't be prone to frequent mood swings, and she'd give me a sense of stability, though I don't know if I'd be going crazy or not, I don't want to be in a state of extreme sensitivity all the time.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, same age and same sex. Seeing this question of yours, I don't have a very precise and direct answer. About your question and thinking, to talk about my own opinion, for reference. You fantasize about dreaming up another person, how is it like? In fact, for most of the more introverted people, there is such a self in their heart. When doing a thing, since in the heart to think to ask themselves many, this is not a friend like that. However, if you insist on making it similar to a real character, I think your spirit will be out of control, that's very difficult. You can try to write a diary every day, or make more friends. Write in your diary or talk to your friends when you really want to talk. Come on, you'll get better! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1947
       },
       {
        "question": "10 year old, sulking and losing after a brush with first place?",
        "description": "The 10-year-old child participated in the school organized track and field competition and the first place passed by (only 0.1 seconds), after going home has been sullen, tears have been in the eyes of the spinning, but did not flow down, may I ask how I need to guide the child out of this kind of lose-lose mentality? Thank you!",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Child Development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The phenomenon of \"not being able to lose\" is very common. In our lives, it seems that \"not being able to lose\" is often characterized as a personality problem, commonly described as low self-esteem on the one hand and high self-esteem on the other. Winning but not losing, requiring others to play the game the way they want to, or taking longer to recover from \"failure\" will surely undermine the child's self-confidence, emotional intelligence, popularity, problem solving and resistance to setbacks, and may develop an irritable, self-righteous, permissive, selfish character. Strictly speaking, this is not a character problem, but more like a kind of self-cognitive limitations, while related to temperament. I. \"Can't afford to lose\" is related to the degree of distraction and intensity of reaction in the child's temperament type. The distraction level here refers to children who cry for a long time and are hard to calm down once they get angry. Some children just cry so hard that they can't stop, which is a sign of a low level of distractibility in the temperament type. Some children are easily distracted, which would be an easily distracted child. A child with high reaction intensity will also have a stronger sense of difficulty and pain. Such children grow into adolescents and often feel frustrated and helpless in the face of many sudden pressures. There are some coping strategies for both the degree of distraction and the intensity of reaction, but of course it would be better if they are combined with the specific situation of the child.1. Be sensitive to the crying of a child who is not easily distracted, and when the child cries, get close to him, have physical contact with him, gently touch him, hug him, kiss him, don't talk at all, and reduce the intensity of the emotion.2. Adjust your own emotions, and then face the child's emotions.3. After the emotions have eased a little, distract his attention, preferably on the same thing. For example, the matter of the track and field competition, divert from winning or losing, and talk about other things about the competition. You can also give him a shot before the next race: \"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, we'll go celebrate after the race.\" Regarding intensity of response, the child's state in the subject's description is not very intense. Reaction intensity varies greatly with the individual and may include shouting, crying, fussing, throwing things, or even hitting. We can think about taking care of the child's emotions in two ways: 1. Give the child an important reason for self-control. For example, you can say, you are getting more and more in control of your emotions, which is something that many children your age can't do Oh, I'm so proud of you! 2. Develop a sense of purpose in your child. Every time you do something, encourage your child to say what you hope to achieve in the end. After the child reaches a certain milestone, it is necessary to give timely positive feedback to encourage them to adhere to. Second, guide the child to face failure children's evaluation of their own often completely without negative aspects, they feel that they \"can do everything\". This is a stage in the development of children's self-perception. They don't want to lose because they don't want to break the realization that they can do anything, which is also a way of self-protection for children. We can try to respect children's cognitive limitations and accept their \"can't afford to lose\" behavior. Don't feel bad that your child is doing this, or you'll be competing with them. Your acceptance will be rewarded by making failure less important to them. When the child feels the frustration or anger brought about by failure, we had better give the child psychological support, and tell him, \"This is not as easy as it seems, if we practice more, there may be great progress, we must know that no one will always lose, and no one will always win, losing and winning are conditional, what we have to do is to help the child one by one to develop habits that will lead to success, so that, in turn, the child will not take failure so seriously. Enable the habit of success, so that the child's attention, from the attention of the winners and losers, transferred to the attention of the specific operation, more conducive to dilute the child's emotions of failure, and promote the child's behavioral level of change. As children's self-awareness continues to improve, the child's evaluation of themselves will become more objective. Finally, when the child because of the \"loss\" crying or tantrums, you first embrace and touch him, look at him with a smile, don't rush to talk, quiet with him for a while. When your emotions are gone, your child can hear you when you speak. The child is an individual development, each stage will have each stage of the characteristics of the performance, you can follow its nature to cultivate, and then wait for the flowers to bloom.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, first give you a big hug ~ Let's take a look at your question first: how to guide your child when he or she has a brush with first place? Winning or losing is something we often experience in life, but learning not to face winning or losing correctly will lead to their own has been affected by it, it is difficult to enjoy the joy of the game itself, but also will give themselves a lot of pressure, it is difficult to feel the joy of life. And children \"can't afford to lose\" is actually a normal psychological phenomenon. Children always hope that they can do everything to the end, so as to get the parents and the surrounding people's praise and recognition. But children's psychological age immaturity, look at the problem extreme, which requires parents to correctly guide. What should parents do? Know how to accept the child's emotions, appreciate the child's feelings children lose already hard enough, this time parents if the blame, will only make them more difficult, in the loss of hard to come out. Parents need to treat their children with empathy, let them understand: \"Parents understand you, understand that it's hard for you to lose, even if you lose you're still great, parents are still proud of you.\" The owner can guide the child to say how he or she feels and then channel it. At the same time, we should also let the child understand that winning and losing is the norm in life, losing is not terrible, the terrible thing is to be unreasonable after losing, but also let the child learn to respect the opponent, and summarize their own shortcomings. Parents should set their own attitude Many times, children care about winning and losing, partly because of the parents' attitude and practice. Children should be treated the same when they lose or win. They should not be praised and rewarded when they win, but not positively encouraged when they lose, which will inadvertently put pressure on the child. Parents should emphasize whether the child responds positively in the process and gives his/her best, and learn to enjoy the process and look down on the results. What the child should care about is what he or she has learned this time, and whether he or she will make progress the next time he or she encounters the same problem. Lead by example, it is said that parents are the children's teachers, parents treat the attitude of winning and losing will subconsciously affect the children's attitude. When parents encounter the problem of winning or losing, they should treat it calmly, and at the same time use it to guide their children. Parents can play some games with their children and guide them through the results. If the child wins, praise him and prevent him from being too proud; if the child loses, praise him even more and let him summarize the strengths and weaknesses in himself and why his parents won, to summarize and improve. Remember, no matter what, leading by example is the best way to educate. The above is just my personal opinion, hope it can help you. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think the subject should be re-conceptualized. When faced with setbacks, it's only natural to feel emotionally drained. It shouldn't be easily judged as \"not being able to afford to lose\", but may just be that the child's sense of self-identity is inadequate, or that he or she has too high self-requirements. These may be the consequences of homeschooling. There are many solutions, such as telling your child that you have been in a similar situation and how you feel about it. Teaching by words is better than teaching by example.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ from the owner's description of the 10-year-old child to participate in school-organized track and field competitions with the first place passed by (only 0.1 seconds), after going home has been sullen, tears have been in the eyes, you do not know how to guide the child out of this losing mentality. The child is only ten years old, the emergence of this hard state is a very normal thing. Look at it from another angle this is actually a growth opportunity, this thing allows the child to try the feeling of failure for the first time. As a parent, before you tell your child not to be too sad, you first need to let your child face up to failure and understand what failure is. Tell your child that failure is a necessary process for both life and learning and growth. Take this opportunity to understand and recognize failure, and then help your child rebuild his confidence and motivation for the next challenge. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You're welcome. I believe everything is done out of love for the child. But 70% of the problems we find in our children are inextricably linked to parenting and family upbringing. Being a parent is one of the only identities that you don't need an onboarding qualification to do, yet it has a profound impact. So changing children starts with changing the mindset of the family and parents. The world and I love you! Go for it!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 6500
       },
       {
        "question": "Trying to communicate with your mother, but don't know what to say?",
        "description": "Always feel more and more distant from my mother now. I feel that my mother understands me less and less. Doesn't care about me either. Always talking about my brother and sister in front of me. There are still times when I feel like I don't have such a big daughter.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Analyze your problem: a: think and mother have distance, mother does not understand their own from your description, I see what you think things, as for why you feel the distance farther away, is not you grow up, parents also began to let go, think some things you can handle it yourself. Second: the mother's concern to transfer to younger siblings, their own fallout Generally speaking, there are several children in the family, such as my family is, to say a few words about my personal feelings, I'm not the eldest, but I also have younger siblings below me, the older sister has married and have their own lives, when I was still in school, my parents are more concerned about her career and marriage choices, may be on our little ones will only ask for My parents were more concerned about her career and marriage choices when I was still in school. But it doesn't mean that our parents don't care about us. After my sister got married, my mom cared a lot less about her, probably because she wasn't by her side, plus the young people were all going out to work, so she was able to cook more of her favorite food when she was home once in a while, and the rest of the time it was all based on phone calls and videos. Next is me, after graduation to go to work, weekends at home, Monday through Friday can not see, can only use the weekend to make up, that small siblings on Monday through Friday pain, the weekend will be better food, after all, are back well. I said this is not want to show off what, is that parents have a few children, there are always poor care of the time, and even care of the time there is a loss. Anyway, my sister came back to me quite despondent, but then thought of the open, she was away for many years, a year can not come home to eat mom's cooking a few times, mom's concern for her a year can not fall into place a few times, this imbalance is gone anyway, any parents love their own children, it is indisputable. Third: the sense of their existence declined we will grow up, and parents will grow old. Parents always have to let go of us as we grow up so that we can experience the true meaning of life on our own. But their embrace we can always go back to, home is always our best big back. Four how to communicate in fact, you can directly or indirectly with the mother to put forward your ideas, to see how she is perceived. In fact, the mother will not mind their own daughter to their own say what is not very chatty things, in fact, she will be pleased that you will talk to her, because she knows that you need her, she still has value in you there. Talk to your mom more and say what you feel inside. The second is that you can strengthen your relationship with your mom, if you are still a student then you can talk more about your studies and school fun, making friends in all aspects. If you have already started working, you can actually start with things you wouldn't do before, for example, I seldom make cakes for my mom, this is something you can try. Rarely cooking together for her, you can do that together too. An occasional phone call can be replaced with a video. The freshness is always there, then the relationship will be stronger. I hope this gives you a little strength I guess.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19397
       },
       {
        "question": "Me, a useless person with no self-confidence to speak of, left to suffer on my own?",
        "description": "Me, an average to mediocre person. Mediocre, lived 23 years. But found myself without any flash point. Once someone asked me what my strengths were, I was dumbfounded, but the weaknesses that popped up unconsciously in my heart were as numerous as the stars. Make friends, I'm good with people, pleasing personality, other people give me things I do beautiful, but I do not dare to trouble others, can not find a person and I can talk to the wine. They all think I'm an honest person, but honesty is the alias of uselessness. I can sacrifice my own time off to help my roommates study, but they think I'm hypocritical and don't try my best to teach them for fear that I'll practice too much and they'll outperform me. I don't dare to vent my grievances, but I can only bear it myself. I hate my own cowardice and incompetence, I deeply suspect that I have a big problem as a person, although I can go out drinking and chatting with a lot of people, and they will call me, but I know that I am dispensable at that table. I was very talkative before, now I can actually manage to say nothing, lol. A loser indeed. I now envy people who brag, at least they like themselves and believe in their abilities. And I have no confidence in myself to speak of, instead of shortcomings I can expand the list of countless \u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend:Hello. I saw your words expressing your view of yourself in several words: \"being nice to people\", \"pleasing personality\", \"sacrificing my time to help my classmates with their revision\". \"Seeing my many faults\" ...... I feel your pain, struggles and kinks. I also read your comment about how your friends responded to you : \"They think you're going to surpass them\". I want to give you a big hug and kudos. The fact that you are kind to people and spend your downtime helping your classmates is something that only people with very kind and capable minds can do. Something that requires patience and a certain amount of basic knowledge and the ability to share the learning methods of others to be able to engage in. ---- These are the strengths that I see shining in you. You believe me that not everyone can have these strengths. You said you used to like to talk, but now you raise your glass and feel that there is no one to talk to, I feel your loneliness and isolation, but also see your desire to integrate into the team of your classmates and the expectation of having good interpersonal relationships. You said you are 23 years old, at this age you can see and realize the importance of interpersonal communication you are also very hard. Maybe you see that other people are able to speak freely in some social situations and are able to cope left and right, and you also want to be like that. Therefore, you have a certain ability to learn, and a keen sense of your own shortcomings, as well as a kind heart, and the knowledge and ability that needs to be supplemented is interpersonal communication. We suggest that you can start with one or two classmates who are easy to get along with, and slowly expand the group to keep seeing progress.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           {
            "start": 9,
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           },
           {
            "start": 118,
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           },
           {
            "start": 132,
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           {
            "start": 215,
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           {
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            "start": 449,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, hug the owner, I do not know why the owner has this view now, you seem to be very do not believe in themselves, and do not recognize themselves at all. There are so many people in this world, each of us is not the same, as if the world is never exactly the same two leaves, each of us have their own flash point, just don't know if you have an eye to find your own flash point. Maybe now for the time being you have not found your own excellent place, but as long as you are good to find, one day you will see their own excellent place. As long as you are diligent enough, hard enough. I believe you will be able to. On the aspect of making friends, I can see that the owner is a very careful and very patient, very caring people, but especially pleasing personality is not good so that will always form the situation of effort is not pleasing. In this aspect of interpersonal communication, I think the owner can go to read more books in this area, to improve their emotional intelligence. Friends to go to dinner and drink when you will call you that they take you as a human nature of friends, in front of them you are not dispensable. Otherwise why would they call you? Don't always not take yourself seriously, you have to believe you are the best! Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5859
       },
       {
        "question": "With all of my husband's awards, why does his bragging stir up my resentment?",
        "description": "The study table and bookshelves are full of his husband's awards and medals (excellent staff ah business champions and so on), the award is the higher-ups on the work of the affirmation, which I can understand, I can not understand is that he put all the awards all propped up and placed, full of commendations written in the text of the side of the must face outward, afraid that others can not see as if our home and not often guests, placed there all the awards are full of dust, and he has no habit of cleaning. He is not in the habit of cleaning. I would like to admonish him honor is only temporary, their own efforts to know their own good, after all, these awards and not what is difficult to obtain the honor, who is not a good employee, elementary school students to put the wall full of awards of three good students! I really want to vomit ah",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's talk about it as we sort it out: your claim: he's behaving like a child. It's actually true that many men do behave like children in the home, and for most partners, like bringing up an older child. But judging by his behavior, he expects to be recognized, probably by you, or by others in the family. So that is, is there any other way he could be appreciated by you or others in your daily lives other than doing this? If not, is he only satisfied by showing achievement at work? Do you need to talk about how you can appreciate other things about him that are different in a relationship that you take for granted? So that he develops ways to be appreciated other than this one, will he stop doing this at home?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3611
       },
       {
        "question": "A 25 year old girl who is always used to listening to others and doesn't even have emotional freedom?",
        "description": "I have a plan to do things, but I am always forced to move forward, I feel that life is not in my own hands but instead of my parents to live by their will, I feel depressed every day, and now I don't even have the freedom of emotions, I even feel uncomfortable when I have my own emotions, and I feel ridiculous. Although I always want to be free, I still want someone to show me the way when making choices, and I'm becoming more and more afraid to trust my own choices. I also especially easy to cry, whether it is to hear words that poke at the heart, or because of the tears will be very easy to flow, and even in the scenic area to see the show feel very shocked will be moved to tears, crying to the body shaking kind of, what's wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Anxiety, Tears of Vulnerability",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Looks + personal feeling, although not very used to feeling to express attitude, but really feel strongly that you belong to the \"other people's children\" in the category of one: looks quiet, obedient, understanding, will not give others trouble, but also sacrifice their own feelings to make others feel better. At the beginning of your description, there is a phrase \"being pushed forward\", which represents two states, reluctance and progress. It probably means that you are on the path that your parents think is right, doing what others think is right. Although you have a plan to do something, you don't have much control over how to do it correctly. A child born with a left hand, it is reasonable to use the left hand is the right thing to do, but parents believe that the habit of using the left hand to write and eat is against the norm, they knocked him to use the right hand. Over time, the natural biological laws are violated and distorted, and he will feel awkward to eat and write with his left hand. The same is true of your emotions, which have become accustomed to treating other people's emotions as your own, and have gone astray for a long time without finding the right path to express them. When you realize that you and others feel differently in the same situation, it's like a computer that receives the wrong instructions and can't execute them, and you feel \"uncomfortable and ridiculous\", as if your body is offended by your emotions, or your emotions are resisted by your body. The habit of receiving and executing instructions is the essence of a machine or a puppet, and the value of a living human being lies in realizing his or her maximum potential and explosive power. The vast majority of this potential and explosiveness comes from feelings and emotions, and the free will you want is hidden within them. People who are prone to tears are paved with softness inside, easily moved, sensitive to anything that triggers feelings, and can fully feel the significance of their existence. This is not a problem, but on the contrary, it is also easy to be dominated by the outside world, losing their own position and due to the rational attitude. Other people for you to point out the way, to the good consideration is not malicious, but only on behalf of his belief that it should be so; to the bad consideration of the detriment of others, may be sacrificed to your interests to fulfill his benefits. Without personal experience and in-depth thinking, other people's experience is in fact difficult to become our wealth and bright light. Don't be lazy, the more you rely on others, the more you will be constrained by others, and freedom will be farther and farther away from you. The so-called clear path is not a guidebook, but a moment of clarity when you go through the mire and break through the fog according to your heart. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see the words. From your description you can probably tell that you are a gentle and empathetic person, that's why you have such sharp emotions, hugs to you~ About the current problem:I have a plan to do things, but I feel that I have lost the right to take the initiative by being forced forward by my parents. Now I feel that I have emotions are ridiculous, always want to be free but also expect someone to show them a clear path. So I started to doubt more and more whether I really want to be free and independent, and I don't dare to believe in my own choice. I also cry easily and get shaken up easily. I have some small thoughts about this: growing up is a process of taking back the initiative in life. In fact, most of us have been asked to do something, \"forced\" to move forward. When we are young and have little knowledge and experience, the urging and pushing of our parents can make us take a lot of detours. After we grow up, we gradually mature thinking, want to take back the initiative, may be parents are still accustomed to the past model to treat us, because we are afraid of suffering, afraid of us to repeat the same mistakes and so on. So we feel constrained, as if even one thing is indeed in our favor, but also full of reluctance to be manipulated. This requires you to come up with your own plan and backbone, you need to prove that you are mature enough to consider and prepare for a thing thoroughly enough. Parents intervene because they are worried, and if they can solve it, the situation of being \"pushed\" at times may be greatly improved. Choices need to be made from a variety of perspectives. The subject wants to be free, but when faced with a choice, she wants someone to show her the way. This is normal, and it is not that the subject is overly dependent on others. Normally, when faced with the unknown, we always want to have more information to increase our ability to cope with the challenge. It is just that no one can make choices on behalf of the subject, no matter how other people's advice, how to analyze how to make the final decision is only the subject himself, to take responsibility is also only the subject himself. It is possible to listen to advice, but not to rely entirely on the advice of others. About emotions. A strong ability to empathize is actually not a bad thing, it shows that the subject is a gentle and sensitive person ah. Although we can't say that we can cry and laugh whenever we want, after all, adults still have to take into account the occasion, but that doesn't mean we have to suppress our emotions. I've always believed that emotions are always conserved, and when negative energy is suppressed for a long time, the emotions will fluctuate too much because it's impossible to maintain the inner balance. So sometimes, when you are sad and cry, you get out your inner dissatisfaction and sadness, and instead you get a more stable mood and state. So when you are sad, find a place to cry, or go and sing loudly with friends, laugh loudly, talk loudly, etc., do not have to endure. Take your time, it will always get better. I wish the subject to be able to break free from this emotional shackles, to try to be happy ah ~ a hope to tenderize the world, but also to give themselves the time to grow wantonly small mushrooms.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner is in an awkward position, isn't he? Doesn't want to march on the road paved by her parents and can't find her way! Like an empty and helpless little child used to curl up in the corner. Freedom from the control of others, the realization of self-will is a metamorphosis process, is bound to suffer great pain! But it is also a gradual and slow process, the owner should not be too nervous and scared! First of all, correct your mindset, is the owner an only child? If so, congratulations, enjoy the parents double or even multiple times the love and care \ufe0f certainly is a very cherished by the parents of the girl. Behind their excessive control over your guidance is a heavy dose of love. You need to know and appreciate your parents for their dedication and support! Try to communicate with your parents, you may not be very good at expression, try to put your own ideas and small mind to your parents to listen to, let them understand your needs and your real feelings \ufe0f know what you want, the support and help given by your parents, which is what you need, which caused invisible burden and pressure on your own psychology and life \ufe0f try to take responsibility for yourself! Be responsible for yourself, don't be afraid of trial and error, don't be afraid to fail, the process is important, to experience the beauty of growth \ufe0f want to cry when you can cry out loud, so that you live a real honest life, do not disguise their true feelings, everyone will be vulnerable, there are times of helplessness, but none of us are alone, right \ufe0f take your time, the mood is bad, take a deep breath, to divert their attention, can be very parents and friends to talk about it. You can talk to your parents and friends. You can do something you like meaningful things \ufe0f put their own mind empty, try to think positively and mental suggestion, when your heart is full of gray, the sun can not shine in. Maybe some people have more negative emotions, that's okay, just accept yourself for who you are \ufe0f everyone is unique. It's also important to have a sense of boundaries to allow yourself to be more autonomous and relaxed, everyone needs their own separate space. Having the opportunity to experience your true self, your own thoughts, your own feelings. You won't even have to disguise your own emotions, and gradually and naturally, you won't be so much more deliberate and forced \ufe0f I hope you can find yourself! I hope you can find yourself! Find your own sense of security \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, I hope my answer can bring you some gains and provide a new way of thinking. Buchai from the subject of the question felt the subject suppressed and helpless, as well as the loss of control of their own life sense of bewilderment and helplessness, and then hug you ~ in psychology there is a phenomenon called \"learned helplessness\". This is the American psychologist Seligman 1967 in the study of animals, he used the dog for a classic experiment, at first the dog in the cage, as long as the buzzer sounded, to give a difficult electric shock, the dog closed in the cage to escape the electric shock, many times after the experiment, the buzzer sounded, in the electric shock before the first open the cage door, at this time, not only did not escape the dog, but do not wait for the electric shock appeared on the ground to fall first began to groan and At this time, the dog not only did not escape but fell to the ground and began to moan and tremble without waiting for the electric shock to appear, which could have been avoided actively but waited for the pain to come in despair, which is learned helplessness. For human beings, if we fail in one thing, we may have doubts about our own ability and expand such doubts, thinking that we can't do this or that. So I think the subject can start with some small things that are within their ability to decide, (such as raising a pot of plants and so on), to complete a small goal every day, and gradually restore a sense of control over their own lives, to mobilize their own initiative, step by step, to build confidence in their own lives. If you have a good local counseling agency, you can also go there, with the help of a professional teacher, it will be better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject is good, carefully read the situation you described, first take a deep breath to let yourself let yourself relax some, listen to my ideas, I hope to help you. \ufe0f in the understanding of the parents on the basis of then seek a breakthrough first of all still have to understand the parents of your good, this is no doubt, in fact, you feel like this everyone grows up will encounter, because the parents have more experience to see a lot of, ate more losses, so they do not want you to eat them the same loss, will be in accordance with their experience to guide you in the direction of the development of the so in the understanding of the parents of the pain of the foundation and then seek a breakthrough. \ufe0f As you grow older, try to communicate more deeply with your parents, and they will slowly respect your ideas because no matter how old you are, you are a child in the eyes of your parents, so they sometimes do not really listen very carefully to your ideas that are different from theirs, and do not take your own advice. This requires you to grow up in the process of reasoned and calm communication with them, more attempts to communicate with them at a deep level, so that they feel your maturity, then they will be more assured that you to deal with some things, more respect for your ideas, and over time your mode of getting along with each other will be more and more equal and harmonious. \ufe0f parents take good care of the child will be more fragile psychological quality, easy to hurt, poor independence, etc., understand the weaknesses, targeted and slowly adjusted will be good this again to refer to Freud on the psychological phenomena arising from human childhood, such as parental care of more children's personality traits generally appear to be more fragile, sense of responsibility is poor, the general quality of the psychological quality of the independence of the poor characteristics of the parents, in fact, you enjoy parental care inclusive of the At the same time, will inevitably produce some weaknesses, which is normal, so we must face up to these problems, and then targeted to regulate, such as easy to move to cry, then slowly let yourself do can be moved to cry, but not because of vulnerability. Independence is poor, then consciously more contact to deal with some things, accumulate experience and self-confidence, slowly will also be good. If you have any questions, you can pay attention to private message me, I wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Freedom is human nature. Everyone is born free, except that for many years at the beginning of our lives we were passively attached to our parents, and it seemed that we could not move forward without their care. Over time, our parents became accustomed to our attachment and even made us a part of their lives, helping us decide, even as we grew up. It's as if we are somewhat used to being taken care of as well, except that we are here for ourselves, to be ourselves! This is our sacred mission to come into the world. Even if apprehensive, even if fearful. If not, the original power at the beginning of life will eventually urge us on and unsettle us. Believe, it is such a force that brought you here, and that is why we met at the Answer House. Individuals and Roles We are the children of our parents and we are ourselves. Perhaps all our lives, we are gently swaying in them. Are you ready? Hello, I'm here, the world and I love you. You.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing that the subject says that he has his own plan, it means that you yourself know the current situation as well as have a future direction in mind, and that's something to be complimented because there is a part of the world that is very confused and is of the type that takes one step at a time. And everyone has their own rhythm, when someone wants to force you to speed up or slow down, will inevitably make themselves uncomfortable, especially in the face of important others - parents, more will feel oppressed, feel that their parents do not believe that they have the ability to do so, but also feel aggrieved, feel that their parents do not understand them at all. When in this situation, it's important to show your parents some of your thoughts, sit down calmly and talk to them, get them to let go of their worrying attitude and take a supportive approach behind the scenes. I know it will be hard to make this change, but you need to show your parents that you can do it on your own, that you can make decisions on your own, or that you will still talk to your parents about any big things, but that the final decision is up to you. The subject is a very emotional person and can easily empathize with other people's emotions, which shows that the heart is still soft. There is no need to worry about this, appropriate emotional expression will make the mood better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Honey, I'm 27 years old and there was a time when I was 25 when I had exactly the same experience as you. I would say first of all to ditch the idea of someone else making decisions about me or someone else telling me what to do. Secondly get to know yourself first, so you know exactly where your emotions, your behavior is coming from, why you are crying and how to move forward. Finally, you can try having a conversation with yourself. Like making a movie, allow yourself to see your day from the viewer's perspective. Everything will be fine.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12804
       },
       {
        "question": "What if you can't stand erratic personalities and inner instability?",
        "description": "I have a very repetitive personality a lot of the time, including when it comes to relationships, and this instability makes me feel miserable. In my last relationship, I chose to break up with my boyfriend because of the intimacy of two people and communication problems. With a same-sex, but now still think about the ex-boyfriend is actually very good, learning ability, maybe he can change after seeing a psychiatrist, enhancement, we can live happily ever after. But I chose to be with a homosexual who I love, the future is unknown, the process of getting along with some problems are slowly exposed, there are constantly conflicts and contradictions, although still very much in love with each other. This kind of repetition makes my heart unstable and painful. The last counselor said that there is no future between people of the same sex, and that I am constantly destroying everything that is good about myself. Oops, bringing up issues and not resolving them has been a shadow for me as well",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Codependent Attachment,Security,Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ first give the owner a hug, from the description can be understood, the owner of the emotional treatment of feelings is very unstable, and the ex-boyfriend after the breakup, think the other party is actually a good person, some regret. And now lovers together, although love, but also always appear some contradictions. The owner believes that he has some unstable factors, once looking for a counselor did not solve these problems. [A little analysis and suggestions] 1. relationship changes and breakups, perhaps not entirely the owner of the inner instability of the reason, the relationship itself is very easy to fluctuations in the two people together can not not produce contradictions, the key is the two people in the main issues whether there is a contradiction between the two people can tolerate each other, care for each other, which is the key to the stability of the relationship. 2. as for the owner of the mention of their own As for the owner's mention of her own instability, I can't understand from the title which kind of instability, whether it's emotion or attitude, or opinion or other? Maybe the owner can try to write a diary, from the beginning to judge their own emotional state, and then every day to make a record of today's behavior and expression of their own have no place to make their own regrets, and gradually reach a stable. 3. Finally gay love and heterosexual love, are the same, are the mutual attraction between the two people, have belong to your future, will not because of the gender and what is not the same, the same will be faced with contradictions, fights, and Enjoy the warmth and mutual dependence. Maybe gay love will have some difficulties because of the limitations of the current traditional thinking, but in itself there is no problem. Regardless of the owner's future relationship how to develop who to choose, I wish the owner a happy future ah.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 18258
       },
       {
        "question": "What if my mom says, \"You're the one with the problem,\" \"It's for your own good\"?",
        "description": "No matter what, when I talk to my mom, she'll be the first to say, \"Why isn't everyone else like this? You're the only one who's like that. You're the one with the problem.\" If things are common, then she'll say, \"It's not for your own good, why don't you realize that?\" When I explained everything perfectly, she would say, \"Forget it, forget it, it's only been a year, it's only been two years, there's more of this in society,\" and so on and so forth. I have to talk to her until I'm sick inside, especially when I try to explain it to her and then she sighs and walks away like it's nothing. I don't want to talk to her about important things anymore.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In the minds of many parents, children will always be children, no matter how old they are, and will always depend on them and obey them as they did when they were young. Since childhood, parents have been used to taking care of and controlling their children, arranging and making decisions for them. Therefore, even when their children grow up to be adults, parents are still unable to change their roles and accept the new image of their children, so their perception of their children is very biased, and they do not think that their children have the ability to be independent, do not believe that their children can think independently, and like them, they have a lot of insights, experience, wisdom, and thoughtfulness. In fact, this is a way for parents to fight for and maintain their image and status in front of their children and their children's attention and recognition. When children become adults, they will have an increasing distance from their parents and will gradually separate from them. This creates a sense of crisis, loss, and loss of control, and parents attempt to regain a sense of control by judging their children, devaluing their children's ideas, and dismissing their children's behaviors in an attempt to keep their children agreeing with them and obeying them. And much of the outdated knowledge and experience of the parental generation has caused them to hold a cognitive bias about things that prevents them from gaining the approval and acceptance of their children. But they themselves don't recognize what their problem is, or they don't want to admit that it's their own lack of understanding, believing that their ideas and suggestions are good for their children and for their children's good. In this process, they are carrying some negative emotions and anxiety, worrying that the child will suffer and fail, fearing that the child will make mistakes, getting angry at the child's rejection and resistance, and so on. In this case, if you try to explain, argue, or refute with them, it is actually useless. Because they closed the receiving channel a long time ago and act only on their own thoughts and emotions. And by trying to explain and argue with your mother in the hope that she can understand you, you are seeking your parents' approval and affirmation of you. There is a great expectation in your heart for your mother, to be recognized by her and to prove to her that you have grown and are capable. In communication, it is recommended to address the emotions before solving the problem. That is, first understand your mother's current emotional state and deeper thoughts, empathize with her and reassure her, affirm her value, make her feel that her children understand her and obey her, and her hostility and resistance to them will be eliminated. Then see the time to bring out your different ideas and needs, and that's when it will be easy for her to accept you. Intending to convince your parents is a difficult and even silly thing to do. If there are some things that you just can't explain or your mother can't understand and accept, then don't force her to accept them and respect her freedom. She may not be getting serious with you or seeking an answer. You can laugh and coax her a bit and things will pass. I hope my answer can give you some inspiration and help. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Feeling helpless and hopeless, wanting to communicate but finding it difficult to do so. Let's talk about why parents can't understand us. Parents want to be needed by their children, and when this kind of psychological development becomes a kind of manipulation, they tend to ignore that their children are also independent individuals, and they can't distinguish between their own needs and their children's needs. Parents want to be the all-powerful parent who can do anything, who can do anything to make their children good, but that's not always the case. We need some understanding from the parents, we want to be able to communicate smoothly, we can know what we are doing, and we are not the way she sees us, things are not the way she says they are. We need to be forced to do things because \"I'm doing it for your own good\". We have our own rhythm and way of doing things in our mind, which she doesn't understand. She will tell us in her own way, but according to our own experience, it is a failure. A bad child can mean to a mom that she has failed in her role, that she is no longer a mom. It is difficult for a parent to bear such a failure, which also means that others are disappointed in her, and to avoid this, they will be the first to express their \"disappointment\". What can we do to stop the endless arguments and find ourselves at the same time? 1. We can learn that parents have their limitations, they have things they are not, we see them and don't try to educate them. 2. Clarify yourself, look inward at your own thoughts, other people's words are just a reference for you. 3. Including these words of mine, find the ones that fit you, no one else can understand yourself. 3, do not force understanding, if we can see what our parents need, we can give it to them when we are in good condition, and take care of ourselves when we are in bad condition. Not to force our parents to give us understanding and help. 4, firm yourself some, you may not be wrong, especially hear \"parents have a hard time.\" Or, \"That's just the way we are.\" 5, avoid unnecessary conflict, have to admit that conflict will consume a lot of our energy. Avoiding the source of conflict, \"listening in the left ear and out of the other\" seems to be a good choice. In the end, the parent-child relationship is ultimately a relationship that is fading away, leave more good memories of this relationship. May the words stay with you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5241
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you recognize when someone is lying?",
        "description": "He said he was drunk and fell asleep at a convenience store and no one called him back! Then he suspected that he slept somewhere else",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Cheating, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello and a warm hug to you. A lying person actually has a lot of subtle details are different from others, but often they may not realize, but regular lying and occasional lying once or twice may be the difference will be very different: [Note: the following methods may be a habitual liar or lying characteristics of the people have enough to understand and avoid exposure of the person ineffective] 1. unnatural changes in the eyes: for example, refusal of eye contact, eyes fluttering, always looking somewhere and so on out of a fear that will be exposed to weakness, and a study showed that people thinking about a problem or facing certain people will actually unconsciously change the eyes, and the eyes will not change. Always looking away out of a fear of being exposed, as well as a study that showed that people's eyes actually change unconsciously when they are thinking about a problem or dealing with someone, as opposed to most people's eyes drifting upward when they are remembering something that really happened. 2. Changes in language: over-explaining what you said, being too logical and coherent, and not being able to stand up to all kinds of details. But the lack of various details, can not withstand scrutiny, etc. Sometimes obviously a question is very simple, such as you ask where to go last night, may be a normal person will go straight back to find a place to sleep or really can not remember, but if a person is lying, then in order to facilitate the other party to trust their own words, often will be over-explained to tell a thing could have been a few words on the end of the matter, or with the usual Speaking tone, words, attitude has a certain degree of difference. 3. Unconscious touching the nose: this should be early in the study of the characteristics of the liar is almost the first to be found traits, our nose near the rich capillaries, he will let us in the high-speed operation of the brain to produce a certain effect, or subconsciously want to find an action to cover up, of course, patients with rhinitis or Really itchy people except, and now in fact has been very few people to do so. 4. deliberately avoid the question, especially the key issue: when you ask a person the same question, there are often two possibilities, the first is that the person is not tired of answering you, but in the end may be very reluctant to talk to you to say do not ask again, and there is also a possibility of annoyed questioning, and accompanied by the voice does not consciously raise to cover their hearts. Consciously raise to cover their own weakness, of course, it is possible that you did not intentionally ask, but the other side is really weak their own lies, that you have found, so it is directly to the truth may not be. 5. Other details: such as looking at you do not pursue the relief ah, or speak stumbling ah, or find ways to change the subject ah, or more simply in advance to your hair questions blocked ah and so on, different people have different methods and attitudes. Mainly depends on your understanding of each other's degree, but also hope that if it is a harmless problem do not pursue sometimes quite good, so as not to hurt the peace or damage the relationship between each other.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7690
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like I have OCD, what can I do to adjust myself?",
        "description": "I'm always anxious for some reason I think about nonsense like worrying that something will break even if it doesn't show any problems I'm always worried that something will go wrong the other day when I was eating I pulled a piece of bone quite hard with my lower incisor and I was worried that my tooth would fall out I'm also always worried that there will be a catastrophe like global warming glaciers melting and the sea level rising is it a kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder and what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavioral, obsessive-compulsive, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychological disorder in which obsessive-compulsive thoughts and compulsive behaviors coexist. The owner of the building said that two days ago, eating with the lower incisors to pull a piece of bone harder I have been worried about whether the teeth will fall out, but also always worried about the occurrence of disasters such as global warming, glacier melting, sea level rise and other disasters. These thoughts are induced by social reality factors, and there is no compulsive behavior, so this should not be obsessive-compulsive disorder, just too worried about life. Has the owner been under a lot of stress lately, or experienced something that made you feel your life was threatened? If so, then your current behavior may be a stress reaction to this event. Stress is our psychological reaction when we encounter major life events or disasters, is the self-defense mechanism in order to protect the inner self to make defense, which is a normal psychological phenomenon. The owner can usually do some exercise or meditation, relax yourself, do not give yourself too much pressure, perceive the inner self, let yourself completely relax. The platform will have some meditation courses, you can also participate in a bit, every day punch card to monitor themselves.",
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        "questionID": 10265
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it obsessive-compulsive thinking to have a lot of thoughts in your head that you can't solve without knowing what to do?",
        "description": "I have a lot of thoughts in my head, and most of the thoughts that come up are predictions about possible future points of conflict or bad situations that may arise, and then I start to think of ways to fix the bad situation, but then I can't fix it, I don't know what to do, and all day long I'm trying to figure out how to fix the problem, and I'm bloated, panicky, and anxious!",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Therapeutic Approaches, Counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "(Growth is to find the point of breakthrough, change the trajectory, spiral upward, and be a better version of yourself.) Journey of the heart: the owner's mind has a lot of ideas, all of which are worried about the future, anxious about the future. Thinking about the future, the present self are head swelling, panic, anxiety. Life circle owner life to the future, full of worries, and in the present also do not know how to solve their own, for now in a very confused state, do not know what they should do? Trajectory change: find their love: the owner of the future is necessary to worry about, but at the same time do not be too anxious, think of the future of the dilemma to be ready now, the owner has to imagine what kind of person they want to become in the future, what kind of things to do? Looking for what really motivates you in the end? With their own motivation to do things, in order to start the present life. Balanced planning: find what you love to do, to have their own detailed plan, to know how to reach their goals, broken down to each day to work hard to form a short-term goals, and then move forward towards the goal. Ensure that resources are invested: the owner confirms his or her planning, to have the necessary investment to ensure that the plan is reached, where the time is spent, you will have a receipt where. Find what you love - Balance your planning - Ensure resources are invested - Change trajectory - Spiral up - Be a better you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Have any of the problems or points of conflict predicted by the questioner come up? Take a piece of paper and write it down. On the left side of the paper write that it didn't occur and on the right side write that it did occur and see which one occurs more often.1. It didn't occur. It means the questioner is thinking too much. Magnifies the problem. No purpose in life, no hobbies, no willingness to find something to do to divert attention.2. Thought about, predicted it all came up. Are things so bad that they can't be cleaned up? If not, it's still overthinking and magnified by the subject. If it is very bad, then the subject should find the right way to solve the problem, rather than a full day of boundless \"think\", things are done step by step, do the process of constantly correcting errors, corrections, checking for deficiencies, and then step by step to solve the problem. Of course, if you can find a \"bull\" (or related books), can see the essence of things, has a different solution, or the best solution, may wish to learn from him, will be less detour, faster progress.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We are always obsessed with either the past or the future: resigned to the past and anxious about the future. The former makes us depressed, the latter makes us anxious. But children don't have these worries. Remember when you were a child? You were always actively concerned about what was in front of you, full of curiosity about everything, never regretting what happened yesterday, and never worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Feng Tang once said, \"What children dare to do and adults often fail to do is: not to name everything, to forget quickly, and not to care about getting hurt.\" In the face of disorganized thoughts, we should learn to focus on the present moment like a child and do everything in front of us. Toshitaka Suzuki, a Japanese Zen master, proposed the concept of \"Beginner's Mind\", which is to devote oneself to the present moment with a beginner's mind, with the sole purpose of \"getting things done\". Instead of trying to change something other than yourself, or trying to make something other than yourself just right, we should make ourselves just right. When you are right, everything else is right. Tip: \"Positive Breathing\" can help us focus on the present moment. Here's how: Straighten your back, relax your belly, close your eyes, and then feel the contact with your surroundings, paying attention to the sensations associated with your breath, and as soon as a distraction surfaces, bring your attention back to your breath. \"The Positive Mindfulness Breathing Technique can be done for 5 minutes at a time, but it's important to stick to it every day. The breath is the anchor of consciousness, and distractions are like waves that keep rolling in. No matter what kind of distractions are trying to blow up inside you, there is no problem with mastering the breath.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Growth is to find a breakthrough point, change the trajectory, spiral upward, and be a better version of yourself.) Journey: the owner is a more active thinking person, every day in the mind can appear a lot of ideas. The owner of the ideas are the future has a variety of pessimistic ideas, for these ideas have been trapped in the owner so that the owner is now at a loss for words, the owner can not cope with the future, the whole day are trying to find ways to solve the problem, head swelling, panic and anxiety. Life circle owner encountered the main contradiction is the present insecurity to cope with the uncertainty of the future, and the future uncertainty of things are the owner's own ideas. Trajectory change: envisioning a shift: the owner of the transition to the future worry, the owner has to know that human beings are continuously in progress, in time to the owner's current state, to the future, the owner will certainly have a better life than the present, first of all, all kinds of conditions will be very convenient. The owner can better enjoy all kinds of life convenience, so the owner does not have to worry about the future. Doing well now: the best way to deal with the future is to do a good job of every step of the present, every step is practical, while the feasibility of their own implementation of the plan. Envision change - do a good job now - change the trajectory - spiral up - as a better self.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Regarding most of the thoughts in your mind, they can be categorized as worry or fear, don't you think? This one may be caused by an experience that has always been that if you do wrong or do poorly you will be punished, and that there is no access to the outside world that is safe. At this point you need to materialize your fears, take out your worries and write them down on a piece of paper to test them step by step. For example, if you don't do this job well, you will be criticized, you will feel bad, and then what will happen next? So is this consequence within your control? Or is it something you can live with? Writing along these lines is supposed to have a healing effect, and at the same time help you clarify your thoughts. Many times problems are magnified by themselves and fears are increased as a result. There are actually studies that prove that 90% of the things people worry about excessively never happen. Good luck FF.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, thank you so much for having me. I have a lot of ideas for myself right now, but I don't know how to put my ideas into practice, and the whole day goes by worrying about the future. Sounds like a bit of some anxiety about the future. Let's not judge whether he is obsessive-compulsive thinking, there is less information, how old are you, boy or girl, the first time this has happened is not clear. But I want to answer you in two ways. One is that you understand very well the problems you are facing right now. And also tried to solve your problems. But it seems to be working less for you. It's good enough to realize and go for help, kudos to you! Secondly, the subject can try the following problem solving methods. #When you feel an idea inside your mind, use deep breathing and stop to feel what the idea is. It's best to write it down with a pen. Then divide the recorded things into which are your worries about the future. Which are possible realities? Then go and feel it in your body at this moment. If there is anxiety coming up, look to see what part of the body is experiencing the anxiety. At this moment when you feel anxiety. Go and experience that part of the anxiety. Secondly, when you have that thought, tell yourself, I can allow myself, and then give that anxiety an allowable amount of time, for example, I'll allow myself two hours, or I'll allow myself three hours. I can think about it, I can think about it with a headache, I can do nothing, just give myself permission to visualize as much as I want in those two hours. If you don't feel like it's going to be a very good solution for you, you're welcome to schedule a consultation with me at to have a consultation, there are still half-price spots available.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This is not obsessive thinking, in fact you have answered your own question, you are anxious thinking. How long have you been in this state? Has it always been like this or has it become like this recently? If it has become like this recently, I would suggest you to visit a psychiatrist at the psychiatric department of a tertiary hospital and not a counselor on this platform. They don't have the right to diagnose. You should not take this matter too seriously either, it is normal to see a doctor when you are physically ill, so it is reasonable to think that you need to see a doctor when you have a mental problem. If you are in a state of anxiety for a long time, then to a large extent you belong to the anxious personality, personality can not be changed, only through psychological counseling to get relief. Of course, it would be better if you can go to the hospital. Whether you are an anxious personality or not, your doctor will give you a personality test form to help you identify your personality, and it is not recommended that you use the kind of test form you found on the Internet, as most of the test forms on the Internet are not trustworthy. If your doctor doesn't give you a personality test chart, I would suggest you switch to another one, because that doctor is probably a piece of crap.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Read your outpouring carefully and deeply understand your pain. Give you a warm hug. Here is my analysis:1 Depression is living in the past, anxiety is living in the future. Depression is wanting to die and not being able to die. Anxiety is wanting to live and not being able to live. So how to solve this problem? That is to live in the present. Live every minute of the present, which is happy and joyful. 2 people do not do things will think about things, think about things will think about bad things. Then anxiety, suffering, happens. So how to end this state? That is to start doing things. When you do something, you don't think about it.3 When human beings think, God laughs. More doing and less thinking is the direction of health. When people are hardworking sickness goes away, when people are lazy sickness comes. We can't work 24 hours a day, but usually at home you can help with housework, laundry, cooking and hygiene. Cultivate some hobbies for yourself, when you are immersed in doing things. You will feel very fulfilled and happy. Thank you for your question and may the goodness of the world be with you as it should be.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 16043
       },
       {
        "question": "The brain is obviously tired and just can't stop, is it a compulsive thought? What should I do?",
        "description": "Often indecisive, it is difficult to make a choice, physically and mentally exhausted also difficult to make a decision. For example, to buy things, online shopping, I can not see the quality of the return trouble, brick and mortar stores, I think a little more expensive, less choice; cheap, I think, the quality may not be good, good quality, I think, the price may not be affordable. Every time you buy something, you will be entangled for a long time, spend a lot of time, and feel that it is a waste of time, but also remorse and self-condemnation. Fear of dirty fear of waste, as if things have to be done to achieve the ultimate perfection, this is what psychological problems or disease?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, diagnosis of diseases, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello, hug you ah ~ read your description, whether in shopping or life some confusion, although very common, but also plagued many people, so I can understand your confusion it. According to your description, you are very confused about shopping and may have a tendency to be a bit of a perfectionist, but this kind of confusion is more common among the general public, with a wide range of goods and a variety of more convenient choices to make us tired of picking. The fact is that psychology is used everywhere in the marketplace, taking these very same psychologies to capitalize on some of the weaknesses and instincts of human nature, weaknesses and instincts that are very difficult for the average person to overcome, so that's why we always fall into the trap of spending. So you are advised not to beat yourself up too much because it is very difficult for an individual to win the battle of organized and disciplined business, and our lives must depend on business development. If it is obvious that you are not able to keep up with the times, perhaps it is time for you to learn something new in order to be more adaptable.",
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        "questionID": 146
       },
       {
        "question": "Are degrees depreciating faster? Some Anxiety",
        "description": "Recently, I have seen a lot of news, said some 985, 211 masters and so on have gone to work at the grassroots level, and some articles analyze that it is because of the depreciation of academic qualifications is too fast, and I am quite worried about this. What do you think of similar news, how to look at the depreciation of education, is it getting faster and faster? How to deal with this kind of anxiety?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Anxiety, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~ The owner of the building has raised a very worthwhile question: how to look at the devaluation of education? We are in the new era of the environment, facing challenges, and every day to deal with the risk of how to make themselves a place in the world, the degree is indeed a very important knock on the door from the campus to enter the community, that is why we attach importance to academic qualifications. With the development of society, the quality of national improvement, per capita education level is also rising, which has the owner of the said: [academic devaluation]! How to seem [academic devaluation] brought about by the challenge, how to deal with this pressure? \ufe0f think about the problem from a different perspective [recently saw a lot of news, said some 985, 211 master's degree or something to go to the grass-roots level of work] for the owner of the description of this news, the owner sees only [academic devaluation], I see the opportunity of the moment. Many people think that improving education is to daily \"pampered\" sitting in the office, nine to five, receiving a good income. Yes, this is the final choice of most people after upgrading their education, but it does not mean all. Many people who have studied hard for many years choose to go back to their hometowns and work at the grassroots level, because they want to use what they have learned to benefit more people. Their choice is just to promote the development of society, selfless dedication to self, make the society progress faster. We can't evaluate whether a degree has been devalued just because of the different working environment and job positions, such evaluation is too one-sided. \ufe0f Instead of worrying, it is better to enrich oneself \"People do not have far-flung worries will have near worries\" The owner has a sense of crisis [education is about to be devalued], you can see that the owner is a very thoughtful person, know what their own challenges are! Since I know that I may face the [depreciation of education], the best idea is to come up with countermeasures before the problem arises. For example, when I was a student, I could get into a tertiary hospital with a bachelor's degree, but now it's difficult. Therefore, what I should do is not to complain about the bad luck, but either to find ways to improve my operation, the level of professional knowledge, and stand out among people with the same education; or I will go to graduate school to improve my education, so that my education will add points for me. In short, there are more solutions than problems, don't be too anxious, take more action, use action to solve problems and dissolve anxiety!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Because there is a lot of news that 985, 211 master's degree to work at the grassroots level, it is attributed to the \"depreciation of academic qualifications\", I feel that it is such a hasty, misleading conclusion ah! Why can't \"985, 211 masters go to work at the grass-roots level\" be interpreted as a sign that school education is now more pragmatic and more focused on the combination of theory and practice? Why can't it be understood that our national education is more popular and better educated? Why can't it be understood that the overall development of our country has increased, the need for talent requirements are higher? ...... If we continue to ask questions, we can find a lot of positive factors in the face of the elephant. What I don't quite understand is why some people only see \"devaluation\" as a negative aspect, even causing panic and anxiety. Does going to the grassroots mean devaluation? Does the grassroots mean that they are inferior? Does the grassroots mean limited resources, a narrow platform and uselessness? \"Value\" has always been a criterion that people have been willing to assign to a certain thing, an object, etc. This criterion cannot withstand scrutiny. This standard does not stand up to scrutiny, and is not equal among different people, in different countries, under different circumstances, and at different points in time. If this is the case, why don't we think and face it from the positive side which is in our favor? In addition, those who hold academic qualifications are living human beings. Let's ask: Which person's value of existence can be encapsulated and evaluated by a piece of academic qualification? The value of each person ultimately depends on their own behavior to realize and verify. Appropriate anxiety can give individuals the impetus to move forward, but also hope that we can use their own \"mind\" to think, do not easily be swayed by the media or popular thinking in society. Life is one's own, life is one's own, life is one's own, so everything should be \"self-centered\".",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello. I can understand your worries, in this regard, I have the following suggestions: First, seriously study professional knowledge, lay a good professional foundation for college students, whether it is 985, 211 or ordinary university students, the most important thing is to learn professional knowledge. Professional knowledge is the foundation of your career. As an example, many people will learn a foreign language after work to enrich themselves while increasing their competitiveness, but many foreign language majors do not think about their own profession, wasting their study time. And for many large enterprises, they are very important to your professional knowledge, if your professional knowledge are not learning bad, then how do you let them believe that you have the ability to do a good job on the job it. Second, more social practice, exercise their ability to college is an ivory tower, just stay here is not good exercise. A person is only good at studying or graduated from a famous school is not enough, their own strong practical ability is also very important, it is part of your comprehensive practice than. Often graduates of prestigious universities are forced to career, it is not that the sign of the prestigious school is not competitive, but they lack the ability to work in the required. A Wuhan University master's degree teacher brought out the class can only rank in the middle and lower reaches, while a second class of undergraduates out of the teacher can bring out the first ranked class, the school wants to stay who can be imagined. Therefore, the ability is the top priority. Third, constantly add knowledge, expand their horizons in this world, no one is not need to learn, only in the learning of people who continue to accumulate knowledge to improve themselves in the learning. Those who close themselves in the comfort zone, like a pool of stagnant water, lack of enthusiasm and progress. And you are not learning, the people around you may be constantly drawing knowledge, broaden their horizons, over time, this and you are evenly matched with the people become a distant existence. So, there is nothing more than learning to enhance the value of a person. I hope to be able to give the subject some help.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Bottom line, respond to change with change. If any change causes anxiety, it means that the person's mental adaptability needs to be adjusted, and it has nothing to do with neglecting education. Society evolves, needs change, and people change, so the final match is bound to be different, no matter how that part changes. What one can control is to adapt to the various changes. So, at best, the competitive pressure of society has become greater.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think it varies from person to person. But generally speaking, higher education has a higher platform and more opportunities, and although education is devalued, it still means you are better than most of your peers. The media likes to report news such as Tsinghua University graduates selling pork, and junior college bosses with 985211 master's degree graduates under their command. At first glance, it seems that education is not as important as social experience, but all of this information is filtered by human beings, and the media just writes what the public wants to see. Once the college entrance examination mentioned \"survivor bias\", what you see is a small portion of college students who are successful, those with low education and very failed and high education and very successful people will not be concerned, because this phenomenon is more common. Furthermore, what society considers successful and what individuals consider successful are completely different standards. The vast majority of people believe that a person with a high salary, a high position, and a great achievement in a certain field is a person's greatest success. In fact, some people may just want to live a normal life, which is more comfortable for them, but this kind of life is not recognized by the public. Therefore, I think that we should not be misled by what is said on the Internet, and we must witness everything in order to get the truth we want.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The devaluation of education starts from the popularization of higher education. In the 1960s and 1970s, junior high school students, high school students and college students were all called highly educated because the proportion of illiterates was very large in those days, so in those days, as long as they were literate, they could find a very good job. However, in the national literacy campaign and the popularization of higher education today, except for children in mountainous or remote areas, the minimum education level is basically junior high school graduation, and high school graduation, university graduation, and even master's degree and doctoral degree, has become a higher and higher percentage of the students. Just like the year from the illiterate inside to find literate people to serve as an important job, now the college students, master's degree, doctoral students, has been very rare, can not go to 211, 985 can also be on the second-rate schools, third-rate schools, and even some institutional schools, so now any person, as long as they are willing to come up with a diploma that they want. And in the employer, manpower a diploma today, we have to pay more attention to the gold content of each person's diploma, more winners need to assess the comprehensive ability of the individual, so the diploma in some of the more demanding units, has not been able to go all the way through, which also led to the depreciation of the diploma. Another reason is that since China's reform and opening up, the economic market is fully open, private enterprises prevail, and enterprises pay more attention to the quality of talent, especially in terms of personal ability, when the diploma is rampant today, although many people are holding a, or even a few diplomas, but the ability to and diploma does not match, the enterprise is more important to the individual's comprehensive ability, the diploma in the overall assessment of the proportion is also increasingly small. I hope my answer is helpful to you, I and the world love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, has there been a devaluation of education? Yes, there is. A secondary school in the 1980s can be comparable to an ordinary second degree today, and this is a kind of devaluation. This is a kind of devaluation. Not only in the Mainland, but also in Taiwan, Hong Kong, and even in the United States, Europe, Japan and Russia, there is a similar situation, which is a good thing or a bad thing? My personal view is that it is a good thing, because it shows that the overall cultural quality is high. In a country where all the people are blind, a one-eyed dragon can become a chief. And in a world full of talented people, we can find all kinds of different talents that fit into society. Secondly, do not generalize, although there are 985 to community, Peking University pig farming such extreme cases, there are also some illiterate when the big boss such extreme cases, but can not take the case to explain all the problems. Peking University pig farming, and junior high school graduates of farmers to raise pigs is not the same, that is scientific, industrialized farming. The illiterate big boss may just have caught a lucky break in going into business, or had the help of a nobleman. Similarly, 985 to go to the community, it can be seen, they may have made the choice extremely rational: this is a route in the system can be gold-plated promotion, but also for the hometown. Whether it's for yourself or for your friends and family, you can afford it. Even if it is a waste of talent, it is much better than those unqualified amazons or those who have the right to abuse the \"red armband\", after all, they have read the book, have some quality. Third, even though the devaluation of education, is not the theory of the uselessness of reading, but the need to read more, as much as possible to make their own skills more, so that their future development of a wider range of paths, better than none. Can not see a few college students to do grass-roots work, think all college students are worthless, in fact, many positions, uneducated or not enough diploma, no one used. Of course, do not rule out some units in order to decorate the facade or recruitment of talent when the screening object to reduce, and then is attached to the elegance, intentionally use the big material, such positions, do not go.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I saw this question, I was deeply impressed by how hostile the society is and how fast the massification is developing. How to say social hostility? There are several representatives, money worship, everything to money, money is the master, no money is waste, money to earn the work is not afraid of losing face to do, not much money to earn the work of inferiority, self-absorption, self-depreciation and despair to the extreme, this kind of doctrine on the construction of spiritual civilization too much of a blow, but the momentum of the times, the obedient one, the contrary one, it is difficult not to be affected by its influence, and even the community in general in a kind of anxiety of survival and worthlessness; self-centeredness, the great success of reform and opening up is mainly on the family siblings to motivate each other to support, and the mass degree of development too fast. Egocentrism, the great success of reform and opening up is still mainly rely on the family siblings to inspire each other to support, and most of the only child appears to be pampered paranoid capricious, for such a fast-developing era appears to be the general bucket, gnawing on the old only heart, was criticized by the predecessor, after 99 years, the expansion of universities, and then the so-called education is actually the economy pushed up, in addition to the scientific and technological fields, the role of the average number of people with higher education than the average number of people with higher education. The role of highly educated people than the role of ordinary human laborers than seems to be slightly less than the so-called heart than the sky high, life than the paper thin, this point is especially for the agricultural family \"rich second generation\" appears more prominent. Communication service consciousness problem, how many people are simply want to serve others? When the service are because of the interests of the line, communication are not harmonious and full of competition, then the moral slippage of thought degeneration appears to be a waterfall, and not with the so-called collective innocence of the rabble will be able to explain some of the social chilling indifference to the matter, in addition to a small number of \"innocent and kind-hearted\" people can not forget the original intention, was recognized by the government conscience, the community collectively! In fact, people in the society have been deeply demonized. Mass because of information technology development is too fast to become difficult to control, in front of it, some people wantonly attack, some people are unable to defend, some people are happy, some people fall to their deaths, the reason, or mass to the people to bring a lot of interpersonal problems, if you can see clearly see the light to return to the self, alas, the world's own poor, the heart of the uneven, poor people are not guilty of sin, but the sin of the self.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10600
       },
       {
        "question": "After surviving ten months and then quitting, now a year and a half later, how should a person face themselves?",
        "description": "I am a man, this year 25. after graduation into the manufacturing industry, the work is very easy, but because of the lack of personal communication skills do very hard. After ten months, I chose to quit my job. I forget what kind of mindset I held at the time did not tell my parents about this, they always thought I was still in the company to do a good job. I started to tell people that I would play for a while and then look for a job, but it's 2020, a year and a half into the game. I've been lying constantly during this time and panicking every time I get a call from my parents. My brain tells me I shouldn't, but my mouth can't help but tell them I'm working overtime, just got off work, and where I went with my coworkers today. Countless lies, big and small, make up my life in my parents' minds. It is now October. I don't know what I like, I don't know what I'm good at, and then I look back and realize that I can't even do sales. How should a person face themselves? Should I tell them the truth about myself? How can they accept that their son, whom they have worked so hard to raise, is cowering in a rented room like a piece of trash? I feel like my life is worthless. Please tell me what I should do.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Avoidance, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, I do not know what year you graduated, is counting this year has been at home for a year and a half? I want to say to the owner is that this year's epidemic on each of us are affected, if it is a year this year did not go to work, then the owner has to consider may be related to the whole environment this year, because the epidemic many people, especially just graduated not long ago, did not have a firm foothold in the industry development, it will be very easy to fluctuations, so it is possible that your anxiety, confusion, decadence is not you alone, but this post epidemic era there is a part of the group will appear psychological characteristics. Secondly, I don't know what kind of major the owner graduated from and what kind of position he did in the manufacturing industry. The owner said that lack of communication skills, is the lack of communication skills with colleagues and leaders, or lack of communication skills with customers? If it is and leadership colleagues that is the interpersonal relationship, the owner may not have been able to adapt to the social environment and school environment in the interpersonal communication difference. There is no interest in the school, more sincere between students, in the community at noon between coworkers is a competitive relationship, with the leadership is a superior-subordinate relationship, in interpersonal communication needs to have wisdom and strategy. And the lack of communication between the customer words can may be the owner of the industrial business is not adaptable, or the owner's own personality if it is introverted, the position requires extroversion, then there is a mismatch. Insufficient business capacity can be further enhanced does not necessarily have to resign, but the owner since the resignation, it shows that you are engaged in the original work very much do not like or do not adapt. In short, the owner of the current confusion, anxiety, fear and career development. You need to do a long-term career planning for your own life. Do career planning to consider the three most important three aspects: 1, interest, 2. values, 3. personality. 1. interest is the motivation for you to engage in this career, to do their own favorite interested in the work to be able to persist in the long term. The owner can perceive what career he is usually more interested in, and which kind of work he is more willing to engage in. Because you have graduated from college, your profession may be your interest, then let their own profession to play well, if you are not interested in their own profession, want to do other, then from their usual hobbies to understand their own interests, choose their own interest in the field, but to do a good job to prepare for the increase in costs, because change the industry risk 2. values, values are the core of the work, career needs to be in line with their own. Values are the core, the work we do, the occupation needs to be in line with their own internal values you will feel that it is meaningful to do this work. For example, some people feel that doctors save lives and their own values are in line with the willingness to become a doctor to pay for their youth, time, energy, and even unrequited dedication. To find their own inner core beliefs and values.3. Personality, each person's personality type is different, different personality is suitable for different occupations, extroverted emotional when doing sales, introverted thinking when doing research, extroverted intuitive when doing management, personality type is not good or bad. There is no good or bad personality type. There are corresponding personality strengths in different career fields, and you need to find a career that matches your own personality type. It is recommended that you do an mbti career personality type assessment to see which type you belong to. When you know more about your interests, values, and personality, you will have a clearer picture of yourself. You can target yourself according to the competencies you need for the career you want to pursue. Finally, to set a long-term goal or direction of life, you need to have a better understanding of themselves at the same time, you also need to understand the background of the industry, the industry's prospects for development, the industry rules and promotion mechanisms should have an understanding of the industry, do not change the industry because of the avoidance of any industry is not easy, and very often success is to simmer out.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello ~ ~ ~ ~ I'm sorry to see you feel so confused, hug you ah ~ although I do not know about the \"lack of communication skills\" for you is a decision you have to leave the factor, if so, I think you insisted on a ten-month period of time is quite long, shows that you still have the potential to overcome the problem. Regarding your \"forget what kind of mentality you held at that time not to talk to your parents about this matter\", I personally think that you did not take the matter of resignation very seriously at that time, and you can find another job if you lost your job, but this is for the social situation in the ordinary period, and this year, when the new epidemic occurred, it was too difficult to find a job, so a lot of people lost the source of their living expenses. source of livelihood, which is something that no one expected. So these things broaden our cognition, no matter what time we should not close ourselves to receive the latest information about the outside world, but to keep practicing and learning, even if we do not know what we really want, we should try our best to create an environment where we can have contact with the society, and a job may be a feasible way to have contact with the outside world, so we may as well try more. Facing yourself may mean having the heart to take immediate action, don't run away. Of course it's up to you whether you choose to tell your parents or not, if your finances won't hold out until you find your next stable job, maybe you can consider asking your parents for help, after all, you're still young, and they'll allow you to take a break and regroup.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 7460
       },
       {
        "question": "Emotional outbursts and some doubt after calming down that the outburst just happened?",
        "description": "I am 21 years old female, I have very high demands on my close people, I especially hope that they can listen to and understand what I say, if they don't trust what I say or are not very patient when I talk or don't take me seriously enough, I get very angry, and also when I do something at their request, if they are a little bit negative, sullen and silent, or talk to me in a somewhat negative way, I get very angry: why can't you understand what I say? I get very angry: why can't you understand what I'm saying? Or why can't you understand what I'm saying? /I've listened to you, and you're giving me this look? Then emotions may suddenly erupt, correcting what they say and do, especially aggrieved, unable to control tears, and then some hatred. Why are they forcing me to behave like this, when I can be nice. I always tell them that what I say is not at all what they understand, why do they always ask questions and answer questions, why don't they understand, why don't they change? Is this look and this attitude on your face something I'm doing wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? Why don't you answer me? Are you used to me crying like this? Don't you believe what I say? Why are you laughing at me when what I said is true?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotional Regulation, Tears of Vulnerability",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Looking at your description, your parents seem to have a little narcissistic personality tendency, they have no way to understand you and empathize with your emotions, they live in the middle of their own world, resulting in your emotions not being able to be reasonably expressed and released, and over-suppressing your emotions, resulting in you either exploding into narcissistic rage, hurting others outwardly, or hurting yourself inwardly. It is recommended that you feel and express your emotions in the right way, for example, you can find a good friend to talk about it, write it out, exercise and other ways, or you can seek help from a counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
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        ],
        "questionID": 7746
       },
       {
        "question": "Learned helplessness, repeatedly encountering frustration in doing things and habitually choosing to avoid them?",
        "description": "Poor sleep to look at the problem of pessimism and negativity, encounter things do not feel good will continue to procrastinate until the worst results can not be avoided, intermittent to give themselves a chicken blood. Actively exercise, every once in a while (especially when the weather is particularly cold or hot) will be particularly weak, powerlessness explosion",
        "keywords": "Behavior, delay",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing your problems is like seeing myself. When faced with a challenge, one wants to run away. Often it is an intermittent effort. Perhaps the first thing we need to do is accept ourselves and tell ourselves, I am good enough too. What we need to do is boost our self-efficacy that we are good enough. When you have a problem, try to try some challenges, they can be small, choose some escapes, but not all of them. Choose one small habit to stick with, just one. Write down 3 of your past accomplishments. Wake up early and tell yourself our strengths. Also, everyone has a limited amount of time and energy, so we can't keep ourselves discharged all the time and need to set times for ourselves to recharge. Intermittent effort is an indication that we need to set ourselves up for recharging time. It's okay to tell yourself that it's okay to take breaks in order to make a better effort.",
          "has_label": true,
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        ],
        "questionID": 7834
       },
       {
        "question": "Confused in love, how do you go about resolving your inner conflicts?",
        "description": "I've always been confused about what love is, and what to do in the face of the heart of the person? Thinking a lot, too far away from each other and online dating, the other side will not be the only favor themselves, love to everything, a little extreme want to be the only one in his world, but it seems that not everyone can do this. So do not get to want to give up early, but can not give up, confused what is love, how to go to resolve their own internal conflicts, can be reckless to fall in love?",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, we are all exploring and growing in every relationship, there are many difficulties to overcome, so it won't hurt to make yourself brave if you are sure of what you want. From your description, I can feel your confusion and entanglement about your current relationship status. On the one hand, you want the other person to love you authentically and belong to you alone; on the other hand, you will be unsure about the relationship and want to retreat and give up because you are worried about the distance and online dating. What I want to tell you is that every relationship where two people get along will encounter many problems, some of which are long distance and distance, some of which are family and financial gap, some of which are education and looks gap and so on. There won't be a relationship that is completely free of difficulties, especially when two people start to get serious about their relationship and start thinking about the future, the problems become more numerous, but the reason why everyone chooses to go on is pretty much the same, i.e., they love each other deeply. If they have to endure some difficulties and pain, they will choose to face them with the person they love and the person who loves them. Analyze your heart clearly, you can see that you are more like each other, and learn to express your needs. If you want the other person to care more about you some, more considerate, must be expressed with each other, so that the other person to learn to take care of you and cherish you, and vice versa, you need to give each other the same love. Relationship is a free choice, the advice and evaluation of others, is just a reference, the most important thing is the emotions and feelings of yourself and the other person. It is normal to feel confused and conflicted in a relationship because the more we love someone the more we want to have more. Therefore, one needs to learn to remain independent in a relationship; the only person who is likely to treat you with nothing but love is yourself. However, through the long term, one may realize that intimacy is not always about sticking together, but rather about being a sturdy support that one can feel comfortable clinging to when one partner is in a low or negative state, and the other can be a solid support for them. In giving hard and giving earnestly for someone you are sure you like and love dearly, this is okay, if one loses some rationality or does something to hurt other people who love them (such as parents and friends), such recklessness may be a blind and impulsive love rather than a healthy and mature love. It's not easy to meet someone you're attracted to and who also likes you, so I hope you can allow yourself to give it your all, but also rationally and thoughtfully keep your daily life rich and interesting. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 17651
       },
       {
        "question": "Why am I depressingly lonely and restless? Where am I headed in life?",
        "description": "I am a one-way thinker, always compulsively thinking of something in a good light, so much so that the first setback came and brought my whole life into a negative quagmire, and this state of affairs made me lose myself, fear of loss, fear of loneliness, fear of the cold shoulder, and the inability to make my own choices on where to go at every crossroads. Where did I go wrong.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It's a terrible feeling to see that you're used to positive expectations but can't accept setbacks and feel so lost and helpless that you can't make choices for yourself at every junction. When we go into things with high expectations, envisioning benign and perfect results, only to be defeated by imperfect results, we may feel that our previous efforts were meaningless, and that we have no idea what to do next. [Positive Expectation] It is good to have a positive expectation of everything and to work hard in order to reach your goals. It's just that, in order to make this approach more complete, we need to put a rider on this effort: do your best and accept the worst. Seeing that everyone grows up with realities that are out of their control and unacceptable. We need to see more of both sides of things to be complete with positive expectations. [Utilizing Resources] Seeing that you say you are lost, afraid of loss and loneliness, and afraid of the cold eye, I wonder if you have friends who are on the same wavelength as you are? There is a saying that relatives are the friends our parents bring us, but friends are the relatives we find for ourselves. Therefore, it is suggested that you find people around you who are in a comparable situation to you to be friends, and when you encounter problems, your friends may bring you more comfort and support. In your family, are there kind elders who can support to you? If there is, you can try to confide in him to feel the support and understanding he gives you. At least there is some tolerance that can make you feel more comfortable in your heart. May you get out of the haze soon. The world and I love you.",
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            "start": 460,
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            "start": 469,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner, \"Why am I depressed and lonely and restless? Where am I headed in life?\" These two questions, either one, are a big deal. It can be sensed that you've had some recent changes in your life that you're having a hard time accepting, it's got you fearful and intimidated, and so you're throwing out questions like these in the hopes that you can get some response. It's a question that no one on the other side of the fence can answer for you, and I don't know exactly what's going on in your life at the moment, so I can only give a little direction and advice. \"Always thinking compulsively about the good side of things\" - this way of thinking may be brought about by \"insecurity\". The human psyche works marvelously, and what is lacking will be automatically replaced. Lack of insecurity in the heart will make oneself constantly go to self-suggestion, telling oneself that those things which are feared will not happen, and those things which are dark and fearful will not happen. Such a way of thinking does have a positive meaning, it protects you from those negative thoughts inside, it is like a door that stops those bad emotions. But as you mentioned in your title, \"so much so that the first setback brought my whole life into a negative quagmire\", once reality and imagination split, once you can no longer continue to \"self-hypnotize\", this door can no longer stop the fear, dread and worry. The fears, the dreads, the worries, they swarm in and take over. They swarm over you and take over your mind. But I also want to invite you to look at them, they may be the scared version of yourself that you grew up with, that has always wanted you to be able to see it, but that you have closed the door to, and won't let out. A person's resilience to frustration, and the security that comes from their heart, are all tied to TA's upbringing. When you feel pain, is often also the best time to usher in the change, in the past there is a door can temporarily resist, but now, it seems to be the moment you have to face the real heart. The subject can try to find a trusted friend, psychological hotline to talk to talk, this stage will be very difficult to walk through alone, you can also try to find a suitable counselor to go through this difficult stage with you. Good luck! The world and I love you.",
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        "questionID": 5781
       },
       {
        "question": "Being in the darkness and seeing the untouchable light, one would despair!",
        "description": "Just saw an article that said. A wizard. Taking care of a wife who couldn't get out of bed. He thought that his wife would be bored if she stayed there every day. So he went everywhere to see the scenery and then used magic to copy it down for his wife to see. But when the wife looked at it, she thought she could be more desperate. Why is this? I can't figure it out.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Plato had a cave myth, presumably that people didn't know they were shadows per se, and then were photographed to know they were shadows. It's the same story as yours. I don't think life has to be despair, if one is a shadow or a person who can lie, we also use shadows to perform plays, and language to create dramas.",
          "has_label": true,
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        "questionID": 6027
       },
       {
        "question": "Finding out that you didn't really love someone else may have just been attachment?",
        "description": "I had a crush on a guy in high school, and he was central air conditioned as if he was not there, causing me, who was young at the time, to make a painful decision not to love someone too much or I would get hurt. Since then, 2 boyfriends in college, 1 after work, and finally my ex-husband, I haven't felt very much love and I don't miss them terribly, especially not my ex-husband. But because of the type of childhood attachment I have, it causes me to have separation anxiety, so breakups hurt me a lot, if you ask me do you really love that much? Maybe the answer is no, more like insecurity and anxiety about the future. Could it be that I was never capable of love?",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Security,Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Beloved, I can tell you with certainty that from what I have witnessed, there are very few people who have the capacity to love. On the contrary, people who need to be loved are everywhere! So it is normal that you do not have the capacity to love. So there is no need to worry about it. On the contrary, a person who knows how to love himself will have happiness. You can try to learn to love yourself and create a harmonious and calm personal inner world for yourself! In this way, you will not be afraid!",
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        "questionID": 21047
       },
       {
        "question": "Arguing with your husband and always wanting to get a divorce in the first place?",
        "description": "Husband rarely quarrel with me, but every time after the fight, I always leave home, always the first time want to divorce? Husband earns more money than me, I don't even care, don't want anything it doesn't matter, as long as the divorce is on the line!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Divorce, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I'm so happy for you to see you say that you and your husband rarely fight! Does this mean that the foundation of your relationship is still very good? Or does it mean that there is still a certain degree of mutual understanding and tolerance between you? Two people get along for a long time, it is inevitable that there will be some arguments, but your reaction is to walk away, or even think of divorce, why is this? Is it because you feel in your heart that two people should not have quarrels when they get along? Or is it that you don't tolerate your husband's arguments with you? I feel that your reaction is a bit like a child's, with the way of gambling, with the way of avoiding to face, with the either/or way to think about the husband and wife quarrel this thing. Leaving the house with an argument, just thinking that you don't want anything, just leave and forget about it. This may be a solution, but certainly not a good one. Of course, if your quarrel you reach the point where there is domestic violence and bodily harm, that's another matter. So how to understand and how to react if it's a normal couple's quarrel? Quarrels are also a form of communication. This form of communication often stems from the fact that both parties take their own sides of the issue, or communicate in an accusatory, blameful way. Realizing this, I think it is possible for change to begin. At the same time I want you to think about this pattern of coping in yourself. Was there a time when you felt some of these feelings growing up? You have applied this pattern before. Then the first step is to understand and repair some of your old traumatic feelings, to experience what you experienced in the past and what you are doing now in your married life. It is different to rethink what kind of new behavioral patterns you can have in your marriage and family. From there, you can go on to better cope with the fights to change the way of communication like arguing. You have to realize that if you keep adopting this way of leaving the house at the first quarrel, divorce hanging on your lips, there may come a day when your husband will be tired of coping with it and let you go, is this really what you want.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Husband and wife quarrel is a lot of marriage will have the phenomenon, leaving home is also good, both sides to avoid calm down, as for wanting to divorce is also very normal, the heart is not happy, don't want to aggravate themselves, although the husband earns more than me, but I can earn their own money, but also can be economically independent, what are not afraid of. This is why the divorce rate is so high nowadays, economically independent women prefer not to compromise themselves and are not afraid of divorce. But the idea can be flashed, calm down or need to think carefully, is it really to the point of divorce? If it is true that the three views do not match, quarrel frequently, no feelings, emotional impact, then leave it. If it is only trivial matters of life, the work of these issues can be resolved emotionally lead to quarrels, then give a chance to talk about it, each other and then rub a little, always find the most comfortable mode of living together.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, many people like you (including me) there is no big conflict, it is the couple personality clash, feel inappropriate, fight every day, who can not let anyone. It is very difficult. Divorce, and can not give up, especially considering the children. If you don't divorce, what kind of life is this? Generally come to persuade are now make do, can not be divorced, but you guys like this in front of the child quarrel, really can not, this is still very harmful to the child, it would be better to separate the child good. However, marriage is a matter of two people, must be husband and wife heart are together, can be maintained, unrequited love is not. Even if one party does not want to divorce, but the other party is determined to divorce, such a marriage can not last long, whether it is the daily life of the conflict quarrels, or the other party to the court to sue for compulsory divorce, will always lead to the dissolution of the marriage, can not be maintained for a long time. And this is full of confrontation marriage, there is what warmth, drag and drag, is only consumed by both spouses are tired. Nowadays society is not like the past, bitterly guarding the marriage, waiting for the other party's return to the heart of the transfer, the prodigal son to return, this is too unfair to the guardian, bear too much pain, it is very cruel. And the biggest fear is that the couple is a contradiction in the loss of reason, resulting in serious consequences, but the original can be resolved by divorce, no must a road to black. Couples or the original good, can not divorce try not to divorce, destiny a not easy. However, some people together may not be suitable, involving cheating, domestic violence, gambling and drug abuse and other fault behavior, together is also very painful, early divorce early relief. In short, couples must work together, willing to walk through life, once a person wants to leave in the middle of the marriage is likely to face disintegration, which can not be salvaged by the efforts of one person. There are times when you are too tired to divorce, it's not about right or wrong. Good luck~.",
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        "questionID": 7823
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you get too possessive of your friends?",
        "description": "I'm especially possessive of my friends, she and my other relationship is not as good as her friends to play together, do not call on me I will be very difficult in my heart, and even self-mutilation, but also two days did not eat, hungry stomach ache, these are just want to let her care about me, pay attention to me",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, roommates and classmates",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Saw your question. I also have a small inconsistency in my heart. On the one hand I am a little heartbroken for you because you went so far as to starve yourself to the point of stomach ache by not eating for two days. On the other hand, it's also happy for you, because the title you gave to your question is being too possessive of your friends, which means that you can be clear about this matter. And want to know why, or what to do about it. Let's take a look at the situation together. What would it mean to you if she called on you to hang out with another friend? Being cared about, a sense of worth, or ......? Also, what does it mean to you that she's hanging out with another friend without calling up being? Ignored, not important yourself, or ......? It's not the possession itself that's controlling you here, it's how \"possession\" makes you feel and your understanding of what it means to possess a friend. The significance of possessing a friend to you is what makes you pursue the feeling of \"possessing a friend\" happily. Will starving yourself to the point of stomach ache really get you her attention? Probably. But what does this care and attention bring to your friend? Guilt, helplessness, or joy? If it doesn't bring joy to the friend, how will the care and attention last? Then the price you need to pay for the short-lived care and attention of your friend is to keep torturing yourself and hurting yourself. Or self-harm in exchange for the attention of a friend's guilt, helplessness and pain. Is this what you want? It's actually a vicious cycle. How do you break out of this vicious cycle? Here I would like to take the liberty of asking, how is your self-confidence? How is your sense of self-worth? When a person is full of self-confidence and a sense of self-worth, even if no one pays attention to her, she doesn't have such a strong desire to be paid attention to. Because she knows that whether that person, pays attention to her or not, she is still lovely and wonderful. Increasing one's sense of worth and presence may help break out of the vicious cycle. Anyway. What makes \"owning a friend\" so important? There are inner needs that need to be met, and each person's needs may be different. What is the \"hole\" that you are hungry for in this area? You can try to find out for yourself. Satisfy it in ways other than \"possessing your friends\".",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Maybe you feel this way because you didn't get much love from your parents when you were a child. So friends are very important to you, maybe this friend gives you a kind of care, gives you warm feelings, you don't want this friend to \"fall in love\" with you. You don't want this friend to \"fall out of love\" with you, just as your mom and dad share their love with other siblings in the family. But your desire to be close to people, the desire to be cared for is too strong, if this will also cause a lot of trouble and pressure on the other side, so it is easy to lose friends, lose friendship. On the flip side think about how horrible it would be if you were hanging out with another friend B and your friend A was self-harming and not eating! I don't know why you choose to hurt yourself as a way to get to draw attention to the other person, if this worked in your upbringing so that's the only way you'll use it. If you feel that your friend's normal socialization like this hurts you, it's important that you learn to love yourself without hurting yourself again. Or maybe you just think inside that you are unworthy of being loved and you are self-punishing, but this self-punishment will only make you more and more sad. If you want the other person to care about you and pay attention to you, there are other ways you can do it that won't make you or the other person uncomfortable. For example, directly express your inner feelings, if you can't express them well, you can try to write them out and let your friends know.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello, no matter how much you cherish, how much you like this friend, do not do self-mutilation, hunger strike and other behaviors that endanger life and health, to ensure the safety of life is the foundation, and then we can reap the benefits of friendship. Secondly, I really sympathize with you, and I can understand that you are sad that your friend did not ask you to go out together, and I can see that you really cherish this friend. It's unrealistic in most cases to expect to get an equal return for the affection you give. It's a very idealistic thought, and in real life, many times we don't get what we want. So when we give our feelings, we have to distinguish whether the other person can accept this kind of heavy feelings, has it caused any trouble to the other person? Otherwise, many times the efforts you make may be wishful thinking, and it is easy to hurt yourself. Timely communication is the only way to solve the problem. According to your description \"he and my other relationship is not as good as his friends to play together, not call on me I will be very difficult in my heart\", you judge from this one thing friends do not care about you, it seems to be a little unfair to her, because you did not tell her your heart, of course, she does not know that you are very sad, and also do not know that you are for the sake of this matter hunger strike She also didn't know that you were on a hunger strike or self-harming over this matter. This will only deepen your misunderstanding of her, only timely communication can solve the problem. According to your description, in order to make your friends care about you, pay attention to you, you even go so far as to self-harm, this behavior is a little radical, I do not know if you have been troubled by this radical emotions? If you yourself don't like to let this kind of bigotry occupy your brain, I suggest that you can seek the help of a psychiatrist and channel it in time, so that you don't let yourself be hurt in the meantime.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5905
       },
       {
        "question": "Too many worries, so tired of living, selfish to be happy?",
        "description": "In September 17, my husband suddenly felt unwell, went to the hospital to check the diagnosis of advanced cirrhosis of the liver, the beginning of conservative treatment, until June 19 to do a liver transplant, the family's expenses rely on my monthly salary of 3,000 yuan to maintain, and want to go out to earn a living, but can not let go of the child!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The world of adulthood is already a very difficult one, with the pressures of family, marriage and children weighing on one's shoulders, and it is only natural that one would have a lot of worries. I think the owner must be a very responsible person, really irresponsible people will just give up, not to raise such questions. Selfishness may be greedy for a moment's ease, but it may not always be so in his later life. All hearts are troubled by the heart, and the difficulties of the moment are only temporary. To share my story with you. When I was in high school, my mother had three major surgeries for breast cancer and ovarian cancer, and my dad stayed by my mom's side to take care of her during all three surgeries. At that time, my sister was going to college and I was preparing for the college entrance exams. The family was already burdened with a lot of money, plus my mother's illness required a lot of money, so our family was in darkness during that time. My parents are farmers, no work, my father is the only source of the family, my sister and I have to go to school, in order to take care of my mother father can only stay at home with the family, the family has no financial resources. My father sometimes lost his temper and felt overwhelmed, but never gave up on mom. My sister enrolled as a free teacher trainee in order to reduce her burden. I spent only two dollars a day in order to save some money for living expenses, and one dollar to buy a bun in the morning and a serving of rice at noon. I think those two years were the most bitter two years in my memory. But thankfully our family made it through. My mom has basically recovered, my sister has graduated from graduate school, and I am now in graduate school. We are basically financially independent after college, and my dad finds a part-time job at home when he has free time, and stays home with my mom when he doesn't want to. Our family is very happy now! Suffering may come to every family, but some people just get knocked down, and some people get more and more courageous. I think that's what happened to our family and will happen to yours. Although we don't know each other, I hope my story can give you some strength! Nowadays, the state will have support for the home for the very sick, so you can find out about the policy, and it may help your family!",
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        "questionID": 9151
       },
       {
        "question": "29 years old and always get extra nervous when I see someone's eyes and talk?",
        "description": "Before I have also been doing sales, not afraid to deal with people, but I do not know when I started to see other people's eyes to speak, will face other people to speak will be particularly nervous, the eyes will feel awkward, and then let the other side is also very nervous and embarrassed",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Therapeutic Approaches, Counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, good morning \"before I have been doing sales, not afraid to deal with people, but I do not know when to start to see other people's eyes to speak, will face other people to speak will be particularly nervous, the eyes will feel awkward, and then let the other side is also very nervous and awkward\" seems to be a paragraph describing the problem, but also can be felt because of this The \"nervous\" emotion to the subject brought a lot of trouble \u25a0 There are several questions to the subject to think about, perhaps there can be some in fact. 1. the first time for you to have this \"see other people's eyes to speak\" will be nervous is when what happened? 2. such a How long have you felt this way? Was there ever a time during this period of time? I was not that nervous when I saw someone's eyes talking. What have you done that would make you not so nervous?3. What kind of efforts have you made during this time? to ease this nervous awkwardness.4. What were the expectations? \u25a0 First of all, the subject also said that they have done sales before they are not afraid to deal with people, then there is such a change, I personally think it may be because some events will affect you now a feeling, the subject can be explored from this direction. What kind of things have happened to influence you to have such a uh status quo. Most people who interact with others will have some nervousness when they see other people's eyes, uneasiness these emotions are normal, so the subject can ask such a question? It seems that this kind of tension is still relatively common, or in your mind, very and unacceptable place. \u25b2 I guess your characteristics: cautious and careful + points of persistence, perseverance, meticulous, stable - points of persistence, stubbornness, limitations, conservative advantages against disadvantages. People must live in groups, good control of their own emotions, the use of other people's emotions, more observation and thinking differently, you will be from for the circle of the most in-depth people never control their own tension. A kind of tension when the more you try to control, it will become a kind of demon, but more powerful. The best way to calm yourself down is to use the following six-step process to turn tension into energy. 1. Smile. When you are particularly nervous, smile. To do this, relax your jaw, lift your cheeks, open your lips, turn up the corners of your mouth, and say to yourself in a relaxed, cheerful rhythm: \"Remember something funny\", which will make you realize the connection between face, heart and mind, and the value of this connection is to make the joy in your heart and mind reflected in your face, showing the pleasant expression you expected: relaxed, awake, awake, and happy. pleasant expression: relaxed, awake, alert, and looking both comfortable and empowered, as if you are truly relaxed and content. Research has proven that when people smile, the messages received by the inner brain are usually positive and put the body in a state of relaxation and contentment; smiling can have the same effect when people are in a state of anxiety and fear. Whether or not you realize the role that smiling plays in self-control of tension, this \"artificial\" effort shows that the inner brain responds positively and effectively to external messages without questioning their authenticity. 2. Send positive messages to yourself. Then, along with a smile, you need to utilize a positive message. It can be a positive statement such as, \"This situation is merely a reminder that I have the ability to transform tension into energy. \"3. Use imagination. With that, use imagination. Visualize a forest clearing in your mind's eye. On one side of the clearing is a wall with a cave at the bottom. On your back is a backpack with all those tensions you have. Place the backpack at the entrance to the cave and enter the cave. As you step in, you notice that the cave is warm and cozy inside, and very bright. Up ahead, you hear the sound of running water. Following the sound of the water, you see a golden goblet filled with a crystal clear liquid. This liquid is the energy you want to bring into your life. It stays out of this goblet and pours onto the floor. You raise your glass and drink from it. As you drink, you feel this energy fill your body. Incredibly, as you drink, the goblet automatically fills and overflows. The glass is never empty. There is an abundance of what you crave and that abundance will always be there for you. When you've had your fill, put the cup back and think that you can come back to it at any time. Step out of the cave and back into the sunlight, slowly awakening yourself from your imaginative state.4. Connect with the sensations of your body. Connecting with your body's senses means that you feel more relaxed than when you identified a point of tension, when you felt that you had escaped the tension and transformed it into productive energy. People often find themselves taking a deep breath at such times. Right now, you may want to do just that. But whether you take a deep breath or not, visualize that your body is beginning to relax and feel quite content and comfortable, and that the thing that is causing you tension is moving away from you.5. Visualize the tension disappearing. Take some time to visualize yourself moving away from the stressful situation until you see within yourself that it is quite far away. 6. Return to the present activity. Finally, get ready to return to the present. In this way, you have transformed the tension into energy.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 21204
       },
       {
        "question": "Fear of mental illness, and fear that you might get it, too much anxiety, and ruminating?",
        "description": "I'm afraid of mental illness, I'm sensitive and afraid that I'll get it, I'm too anxious to think about it and when I see people acting strange, I think they're mentally ill, and then I'm a little bit panicked, I think I'll think that way, and I'm the kind of person who's easy to get into a corner, and I'll be thinking nonsense.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, you may think that mental illness is a very bad disease, so you are afraid that you will meet people with mental illness, and you are also afraid that you will suffer from mental illness###In fact, just as people will have colds and fevers, and people's stomachs, intestines, hearts and other organs will produce diseases, the brain, which is also part of the human body's organs and is in charge of people's thinking and actions, will also produce some problems, that is to say, psychiatric illnesses. Mental illnesses are not as scary as you think## You said that you are easily sensitive, bullheaded and anxious in your life, these are psychological problems, and psychological problems are experienced by everyone, through reasonable ways to regulate their own emotions, you can let yourself slowly come out of bad moods## Why don't you try to face the psychological problems with a normal mind? Try to allow yourself to have psychological distress and then find ways to regulate your emotions and improve your emotional management skills. Suggest you try meditation, there are meditation audios on many platforms. Studies have shown that long-term meditation not only promotes emotional stability, but also promotes sleep, improves memory, strengthens concentration, etc. The above is a little bit of my advice, I hope it can help you. Good luck!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 19191
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you overcome yourself when you have to have surgery and your body is a parent?",
        "description": "I had done my homework beforehand because I was going to have the surgery, but the doctor's talk added to the burden of thought. Subconsciously, I thought that I was a parent, but now I'm going to have to have my body removed, so I'm going to say no, aren't I? How can I adjust my mindset better?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know what kind of surgery makes the subject so entangled in: 1, \"the body hair and skin received by parents\", surgery that is to take the initiative to remove the gift of parents, is disrespectful to the parents; 2, surgery is because of the need for physical health, I have done enough homework, that the surgery is responsible for their own health; these two aspects of the indecision. I seem to see the questioner swinging between the two scales of whether she should be responsible for herself or her parents; having the surgery is responsible for herself and not having the surgery is responsible for her parents. However, I believe that the best way to be responsible to the parents is to be responsible to yourself. Every parent wants their child to be well, and the child is the continuation of their own life, so if the TAs are well, everything is good. At the same time, this surgery may have certain risks, so the subject is more hesitant, which surgery does not have risks? Surgery requires anesthesia, anesthesia itself is not 100% safe, at the same time, between people, individual differences are so large, the general public have no problem with the surgery, for individual individuals may have problems for various reasons, and so on. These are the things that the doctor needs to explain before the operation, such behavior, one is to do the doctor's obligation to inform, and the second is to avoid the unknown risk. You can ask your doctor what the probability of the risk is, what their chances of success are, whether the surgery is mandatory or there are other options available, and assess the pros and cons clearly. Therefore, if the concern is only about the risk of the surgery, it is advisable to evaluate the pros and cons thoroughly before making a rational decision. If there is also the issue of complexes involved, it is recommended to find a counselor to have a good talk and sort out the complexes before deciding.",
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        "questionID": 10111
       },
       {
        "question": "What if you have a strong compulsion to write and keep trying to make changes?",
        "description": "In my sophomore year of college, when I took notes in class or outside of class, I always wanted to write beautifully and neatly, but it was not always what I wanted to do because I needed to write fast, especially in class. You think you're writing beautifully at the time, but when you're free and calm down, you'll want to \"touch up\" it over and over again. I can't stop \"fixing\" my notes from one class to the next, or even erasing them and rewriting them, so I can't listen to the teacher, but it's so hard not to \"fix\" them! I wish I could write in print. When my classmates see my notes, they say they are very neat, and I think they are too, but she doesn't care as much as I do, and I can't help but erase and rewrite them even though they are relatively neat, which wastes a lot of time, and it's hard to feel bad about it, so what should I do? Thanks guys!",
        "keywords": "Behavioral, obsessive-compulsive, stressful, hypochondriacal",
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         {
          "answer_text": "~~ first give the owner a hug. From the description, we can understand that 1. the owner likes to write very neatly and can't tolerate untidiness 2. constantly revising and rewriting notes in class, which affects the class [a little bit of analysis and suggestions] 1. liking to write nicely and make notes neatly is actually a good habit, but the owner's excessive demand for neatness or untimely modification affects the efficiency of the class. The owner may try to force himself to delay this desire to revise, not that he can't revise his notes, but that he can't revise his notes in class, and try to make himself revise his notes after the whole day's class is over.2. This can be practiced from the usual time, starting from the shortest, writing for one minute, and then putting the book aside and forcing himself not to move the book until five minutes later, and then he will make revisions to the previous unsatisfactory ones. The first thing you can do is to make changes to the previous unsatisfactory ones. Keep lengthening the interval until you are able to revise your notes at the end of the day's lesson. This method may be useful to the owner ~ good luck.",
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        "questionID": 8891
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       {
        "question": "Quick to perceive a call for help and unwilling to be mindfully dependent, why?",
        "description": "I'm always quick to sense when people are asking for help and then reach out, but don't want to be mindfully dependent. I feel like I attract around me, people who are dependent on me, even my leaders. The first person to find me to talk to about any troubles, hoping I'll fix it for him. In years past, I didn't see anything wrong with that, but this year I realized that he was so dependent that it made me feel misplaced and uncomfortable. Thinking back, my mom and I had the same relationship; I was always relied on as the one she confided in at an early age. Is it possible that I can rarely open my mouth and ask for help because I have some strange beliefs too?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear Subject, Hello Wow~ Through your description, I can feel your confusion at the moment. Why is it that we seldom look for help, but instead often become dependent? First of all this is inextricably related to our early childhood development experience. If our needs are not well met and our expectations are not answered when we are babies from 0 to 6 months old, then subconsciously we will have the idea that I can't rely on anyone but myself, and this idea will penetrate into our daily life and personality. This is why many people, although they did not suffer any setbacks in their childhood and future growth experiences, have developed a more independent character, which is in fact inseparable from our experiences within six months. In addition, from the description of the subject, we can learn that when you were a child, you were already the object of your mother's confidences, and were often relied upon. And when we are small children, if we find that it is easier to perform a certain behavior to get the goodwill of our loved ones, then we are driven to keep repeating that behavior. For example, when you find it easier to be the object of your mother's confidences, and in the process she releases kindness towards you, then you will tend to get along that way. Similarly, when you have been relied upon by those around you and have received praise from others in the process, you will tend to become relied upon and will always be quick to perceive the need to ask for help in your dealings with others. Of course, if your ability is not good, even if others ask you for help can not get good help, then you will not become the object of dependence, so you are very capable, very charismatic kind of people, let people feel can be relied on. At the same time, people have inertia. People tend to be more inclined to look for help from those who have helped them, and when you give a helping hand to others, the next time they encounter difficulties, they will also prioritize the idea of looking for help from you. However, you're not always a superman, and when you're constantly relied on, especially by the very people who are supposed to be taking care of you, you tend to develop uncomfortable feelings over time. First of all, it's completely normal and reasonable for you to feel this way. You follow your feelings without feeling sorry or ashamed or any other emotion. The only way to be in good shape is to pay attention to your emotions and detoxify them yourself. Learn to politely decline. When you feel that others are asking for things that are beyond your burden and causing you a lot of stress, politely decline, or if sometimes you just don't feel like doing it yourself, then tell a little lie to decline. Find others to help with small things and enjoy the feeling of relying on others. To find others to help such things do not have to be a big thing, such as looking for others to help bring a breakfast, get a cup of water, hand a book, these are very small things. Find someone trustworthy to talk to when you are feeling annoyed. You are also allowed to rely on others. In the end, each of us in this world, only when they follow their own will to live, so living is comfortable and cozy. I hope the subject can get rid of the trouble soon~.",
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          "answer_text": "Hi: Actually, those [strange beliefs] you are talking about are due to a family pattern of growing up this way. Between family members, the expression of misalignment will keep that part of the child as an adult. Over time, it is naturally painful, after all, people's ability to withstand is [limited], you can find yourself, I think it's really good, indeed, can not continue to be like this, after all, you do not have that obligation to be to withstand the pressure of all the people. Analyze and understand the problem: 1. You are always quick to notice when others ask for help, and then reach out for help, but you are not willing to be relied upon with peace of mind. (Yes, your fast perception, is practiced since childhood, has become a kind of [muscle ability], that is to say, do not need too much analysis, directly feel, and then [habitual] to reach out for help. Yes ah, you are not who they are, how would you like to be someone's [trash can]? After all, there is pain in the people, are to take out the garbage ah, think you should be a good pour to the psychological pain.) 2, you feel attracted to the side, are dependent on you, even your leadership. Encountered any trouble, the first time to find you confide in, hope that you give him to get it done. (Your perception is very accurate, because people and people's temperament will have inexplicable fit, what kind of people, will attract people who match it. Of course, you must have the temperament to help others in your temperament, so others will dare to come to you in the first place, if you do not want to anymore, learn to refuse.) 3, In years past, you didn't see anything wrong with it, but this year you've realized that he's so dependent that it makes you feel misplaced and uncomfortable. (Hmmmmm, you've made a good observation that such misalignment is wrong. Let's put it this way, if such a misalignment occurs between a counselor and a visitor, usually the counselor will use this empathy and do more to help the relief of the visitor, but for an ordinary person, it's exhausting, aggravating, innocent feeling. Need to come out, because you do not have those professional methods, it is easy to get yourself hurt.) 4, Thinking back, your mom had the same relationship with you, you were used as a confidant and always relied on by her at an early age. Was it also because of some strange beliefs that you could rarely open your mouth and ask for help? (Yes, the general personality pattern in adulthood [mirrors] the childhood pattern of relationships with significant dependents. But if there is an irrational relationship pattern, it can hurt the person in adulthood. The pattern you mentioned is called \"becoming a mom's mom.\" How can a child be capable of being a mom when he or she is supposed to be innocent, lively, and loving, but is invariably made to play a role that he or she is not capable of playing? There is actually an element of [pulling the plug]. I won't ask for help, because I've been helping others, how can I think of asking others to help me? But if you've been helping others, you're also aggrieved! There is also a need to be helped! (I don't know what those strange thoughts are, but I think there must be a connection when I analyze them carefully). Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! May you just be yourself and be your own mom and not someone else's! Give all the love and warmth to yourself! Confused, private message!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello owner, I see a very good realization in your question: misalignment. First, the key to the problem, is indeed misplaced. 1, the responsible person misplaced. Everyone for their own problems, to take the main responsibility, others can only assist from the side. Others ask for help, you immediately lend a hand, perhaps they have not thought of ways to solve the problem, the problem pushed out, and then you immediately take over, instead of the principle of the main responsibility of the owner of the problem, depriving others of the opportunity to solve the problem, in effect weakening their problem-solving ability. To you as the main, others as a supplement, which is the misplaced between you and the responsible person. 2, the organizational order misplaced. A unit is an organizational sequence, between the upper and lower levels, between colleagues can not be chaotic sequence, otherwise it will be chaotic. Your leadership encountered any trouble, all looking for you to confide in you, hope that you give him to get it done. Such a leader and not to mention how his ability, your ability must be very strong. A weak ability to lead people with strong ability, and dependence on people with strong ability, is equal to a unit without a backbone, unstable foundation, center of gravity shift, is not conducive to the development of the company, but also is not conducive to the development of the leadership and subordinates of the individual. In your relationship with the leadership, the organization of the order is reversed. 3, the family order is misplaced. The above two misalignment, are to be traced back to your family order. Like the organizational order, a family, too, has its own order. Your mom in your early childhood, you as a dependency object, have anything to look for you to confide in. Then, your dad is absent in this family, you took your dad's place, and the reliance that should have been given by your dad was removed by your mom and transferred to you. You are just mom's child, not a substitute for dad, and the love and dependence that mom wants should be sought from dad. Your family order is misplaced. Second, in addition, you are always quick to perceive others' requests for help and reach out, proving that you are very sensitive and can't turn a blind eye to other people's difficulties, which precisely shows that your heart is also fragile, and you project your vulnerability to other people, thinking that if you don't step in to solve the problem, other people will be just as difficult as you are. Third, there is, you can rarely open your mouth to ask for help, is it because you feel embarrassed to open your mouth, that you do not deserve the help of others, or even if you open your mouth, others may not be willing to help you, or that they are stronger than others, others can not help you? Sometimes, not asking for help all the time, just to help others, will give others to set up a strong false impression, so tired of yourself, but also make others in you can not find a sense of value, is not conducive to interpersonal interaction. Let everyone find their place, each in their own way, without getting too involved in other people's lives, learn to refuse, learn to ask for help, change the inertia of being dependent, and you'll get relief. Good luck!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ very understand your feelings, hug you ~ habitual dependence, always willing to help others, shows that you are a very kind, considerate people ah try to analyze the problem - first of all, it is very likely and you said that when you were a child, your mother likes to confide in you such a behavior is related to such a process, you have learned to be sympathetic to In the process, you learned to be sympathetic, to comfort others, and you liked how to listen and how to give support. As you grew up, this pattern of getting along was continued. Secondly, being dependent all the time must have been stressful for you; it seemed like it was your responsibility to help others with their problems, and you certainly felt uncomfortable putting other people's problems on top of your own. It may be that you don't like to say no to people, but this often only aggravates you. Do you try to say no when someone else offers to help? Do you feel pressured about the whole rejecting people thing? If you struggle with this, it may also be something to be aware of. Objectively speaking, when someone else offers to need your help, it's perfectly fine for you to say no, it's your right, and it may be that you don't realize that you have to say no, and you worry a lot about it. Learning to refuse may be the subject you are facing now. Rarely can you open your mouth to ask for help, probably because you don't want to bother others, because you know that helping others is not a particularly easy task. Yet the nature of relationships is to work together, and if you always give help and never ask for it, it's unbalanced, and the result is one of two things - there's a chance that other people will get their way, or that you'll feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or even sometimes emotionally upset to destroy the relationship altogether. Good luck ~.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, owner; have observed that the owner seems to be more likely to be the caregiver role, taking care of other people's needs, instead of neglecting their own needs. Also noticed that the owner bravely expresses her distress and seeks help from outside, which can certainly help the owner to be able to recognize herself better, see her deeper needs, and understand herself from a better perspective. Now I'll share my observations, which may help the owner to have more perspectives on her own troubles.1. Our relationships are an extension of the relationship we had with our parents when we were young. Our mothers are the first people we came to this world to establish a relationship with. So the extension of our relationship with our mother is the pattern of our relationship with other people. What can be observed is that the owner was used as a confidant by her mother when she was a child and was always relied on by her. So from a young age the owner was a caregiver. And when we project our own thinking and image of being able to take care of people, and the people around us agree with the projection, then the people around us will rely on you and look for you to confide in.2. Rarely open their mouths to ask for help, or deep disappointment There is an observation that the owner of the building can be very quickly aware of other people's request for help. From here we can feel the owner's inner sensitivity and vulnerability. Can quickly realize that others ask for help, in fact, can also realize their own inner needs. It's just that our internal relationship patterns suppress our own needs, and we don't express them or ask for help. This is because we were not well taken care of as children, and when mom needs the comfort of the owner, then mom is not capable of taking care of the owner's needs and inner thoughts. After the owner sends out the need to be understood and taken care of, the mom always fails to fulfill it. Then it will turn to suppressing her own needs. Because the more longing there is, the more disappointment there will be. After asking for help to no avail, they will not ask for help. 3, how we treat others, is to want others to treat themselves as they treat him to treat themselves sensitive people will easily perceive the needs of others, then will think that others can perceive their own needs, in their own need for help. However the reality is that others really don't understand what their needs are if they don't say so themselves. So when the owner's desire for others to treat him/her as he/she treats others turns into disappointment. One's giving is not reciprocated, and then the relationship consumes the owner. It then creates an unwillingness on the part of the owner to be mindfully dependent. The best relationships are often those that give appropriately to others and others give appropriately to themselves. Then the relationship becomes stable. It will also nourish each other.4. Take care of yourself first, then treat others with spare capacityTake care of yourself first, be aware of your own needs, and then have the spare capacity to treat others. For example, if I am a bit annoyed with myself, and others happen to be seeking help, then remember to take care of yourself first. Be careful how you speak though. Learn to say no gently but firmly. After we have taken care of our own needs first. If there is still energy left then when we go to help others, we will not ask for something in return. Or we won't expect others to treat us as we treat them. I help you and it's good that you return the favor. You do not return that there is nothing. 5, learn to appropriate show weakness, take the initiative to ask for help there is such a logic, that is, you want others to like you, ask the other side to do you a favor. This is because we trouble others, it is and others to establish a relationship. And without bothering, there is often no relationship. So when you're not feeling very well and need to ask for help, see your weakness and take the initiative. And only by being proactive will you have a chance to be taken care of and understood and supported. Relationships will also go further.",
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          "answer_text": "Seeing words like seeing faces, I hope these words can bring you a little warmth. You must be a very, very capable person to be trusted and relied upon by so many people. And, from the fact that you can quickly perceive others' requests for help and lend a hand, it seems that you are also very empathetic. However, the character \"person\" is a structure of mutual support. Just relying on and being relied upon blindly will not make you feel happy. I hope you can also learn to selectively refuse the dependence of others, learn to depend on others, and relax a bit. In this regard, I have a few small suggestions. Uphold your legitimate rights and interests. There is an ancient Chinese saying that goes, \"The capable should do more,\" but there is also \"The one who does more gets more.\" When your leader wants you to solve a problem, you might as well consider whether your salary matches the effort you put in. If the salary is far from enough, you can jokingly say, \"If you keep doing this, you'll have to give me a raise,\" or you can take a long vacation to make your leader realize your importance and necessity and keep you by offering a higher salary. Honestly express your exhaustion. When a person is too capable, it will make people consciously or unconsciously overlook the fact that this person also gets tired, and they will rely on him comfortably. What you need to do is to speak out your exhaustion, tell others, \"I am not invincible, I do get tired.\" After they know this, they will reduce the frequency of seeking your help. Or they won't disturb you when you are tired. Learn to refuse. If you are very tired and have expressed it, but someone still asks for your help; or it is some trivial matter, you can refuse to help. It's not being heartless, it's not being cold-blooded, on the contrary, this is your rationality: you can't do a good job when you are too tired; and with your ability, you don't need to do insignificant things. Don't feel embarrassed, you don't owe others anything. A person should first love oneself, and then love others. Learn to depend. Although you are very capable, one person cannot do everything. Sometimes, learn to depend on others, which not only improves efficiency but also relaxes your mood. Depending on others is the same as refusing others, there is no need to feel embarrassed. We have a relationship of mutual help and interdependence, and only with reciprocity can we build deeper relationships. I hope you can find a balance, helping others while not feeling too tired. Otherwise, if you always help others, they will only have two reactions: 1. Feel indebted to you and instinctively stay away from you; 2. Get used to your help, and when one day you no longer help them, they will think you have \"become bad\" and develop resentment towards you.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! I've read your question carefully, and I can feel your trouble from the question, so I hope my answer can help you. \uff0a\uff0a\uff0a\uff0a The questioner's current problem is that he or she is able to quickly recognize the help of those around him or her and give it. \u2192I'm not sure if I've ever been able to do that, but I've been able to do that for a long time, and I'm not sure if I've ever been able to do that, and I'm not sure if I've ever been able to do that. The subject also mentioned that since childhood, you have been relied on by your mother, your mother may be able to express her approval of you, and slowly get used to this mode of life, however, I have not felt that this mode of life is not right, suddenly one day may feel that the pressure on you is too great, or they are too tired, suddenly change this mode of life. I and you are very similar, I am also on the side of the people who have to respond, but also very much like this mode of life, feel that can help others that their own value, suddenly one day I was very late from work, one of my colleagues fell ill, I went to the doctor to accompany her infusion at 3:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., and the next day another colleague early in the morning and want me to help her go around the distance to buy a more delicious breakfast, I was very tired, I realized that this mode of life became a burden to me. Character How can you change this status quo for you? Change your own cognition 1, now in your subconscious people around you have difficulties is the need for you to help, but you help others is grace, do not help others is this, other people's things should be someone else to be responsible for, you have the ability to have the time to help to help you can go to help, if you feel tired, do not have the time to not go to intentionally force themselves to help. 2, there are disturbed time to try to seek the help of friends or family members, you may think is not want to trouble others, however, family and friends is the more you use the relationship the better, you have something what troubled them not to say, they will think you do not take them as their own, is a friend, so try to change their minds. Learn to politely reject others in others seek your help, if you do not want to go or do not have time when you can use appropriate reasons to politely reject others, so that you are good, there is not to get very embarrassed. I hope you get out of trouble soon! Good luck!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello subject, Seeing is like seeing. Always be able to quickly perceive the help of others, it shows that you are very delicate and sensitive; always meet people who rely on you, it shows that you have the ability to be relied on, can be trusted. All relationships between people are mutual, and often encountering people who rely on you side by side shows that you have a psychological need to be relied upon. This need stems from the way you spent time with your mom in your early childhood, she often confided in you and relied on you, so you subconsciously feel that you are valuable in this way. When you notice that others are asking for help, you will lend a helping hand, and over time you will create a strong image for others, who will naturally turn to you for help when they encounter problems, and this will form a kind of inertia. But no one should be responsible for other people's lives, always encounter this situation, you will be rejected, and even bored. So learn to refuse, learn to rely. Learning to refuse does not reject others, and can consume a lot of your time and energy. When receiving help from others, do not immediately agree, but objectively think about this favor should not help, willing to help, worth helping, choose their own should help, can help, willing to help, rather than indiscriminately agreed. Learn to rely on moderate dependence on others, will make interpersonal relationships become healthier. When in a difficult situation or in a bad mood, you can appropriately seek help from outside and try to trust others. Don't be embarrassed to ask or afraid to bother others; relationships are healthier when there is a back and forth. Everyone is an individual and should have autonomy, no one can be responsible for someone else's life, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. I hope my answer can help you.",
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          "answer_text": "Noticing this quickly may well mean that you often help others in your life and do get something back from them, which may not necessarily be something tangible, but may be as simple as a thank you. This kind of feedback makes you more willing to help others. But when you say that you don't want to be relied on casually, you clearly mean, in my opinion, that you don't want the other person to get into a relationship with you just because you are reliable, and to ignore the TA's own relationship with you and rely on you endlessly before the relationship can be made good. This feeling that the relationship and the behavior don't go well together will gradually make you feel tired and upset. Also, maybe it has something to do with your temperament, like being sensitive, thoughtful, observant etc. As for what you said about your mom's relationship with you, it's obvious that it made you feel dependent since you were a child. I don't know if you've been wandering around or not, but if so, maybe you're homesick for your childhood imprints and it's hard for you to realize it. Opening your mouth to ask for help, I guess ha, might make you feel like you can't even solve your own problems, so how can you talk about helping others, that is, you can't be relied on anymore. It may be strange to say this, but the fact is that people are inherently ambivalent, you may know that you like to be relied on, but you don't realize that being relied on has become a necessity for you, an aspect of affirming your abilities, maybe even the only aspect, so you crave to be relied on by other people, and you fear to be relied on by others, and the others here are usually not a group of people. Desire because your ability can be affirmed, afraid because dependence also means that you may just be a tool, like people invented all kinds of labor-saving machines, the purpose is just to make their own life better, people will not care about how the machine how, at most when the machine malfunctioned, then will realize, so you are so important. Of course some people will even just replace the machine and throw the old one away, TA's don't care how you feel. Speaking of the word dependence, I think back to myself, when I was in high school, a lot of people wanted to sit next to me in order to make it easier for me to give them lectures. To be honest, at first I helped them, okay, didn't feel much, but later on when they became more and more frequent, I became more and more reluctant to talk to them anymore, but it was not good to refuse, fearing that if I refused, they would no longer be dependent on me in the future, that is, it might result in the only aspect of affirmation of myself that I had being chopped off. All in all, look at the people around you, even if the other person is your boss, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to help them, the main thing is to do your best according to your heart. At the same time, other people ask you to help, and this you can not do, to learn to refuse. There is also to learn to affirm themselves, do not always rely on the affirmation of others, can not be relied upon.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dearfriend: Hello! From your words, I understand that you actually like to help people because you experience being needed in helping people. However, being excessively needed makes you uncomfortable. Let's first look at what got you into this predicament.1. It stems from the fact that you neglected your own needs. I think you are the person who satisfies others before thinking about yourself. That's how you allow yourself to ignore your true feelings.2. Not making standards and boundaries for things, causing you to have no basis for when you should sayYes and when you should sayNo.3. Not being bold enough to say no, it's possible that you're in fear, fear of the relationship breaking down because you don't feel like you're good enough, not satisfied enough with yourself to be satisfied that someone else understands you. Or maybe someone is threatening to threaten you with a relationship breakup when you say no, to force your hand. So how in the world do you solve this? [First of all] learn to be satisfied with yourself learn to be satisfied with yourself (me as a person): I am already perfect. Such a thought is very important, if we feel that we are not good enough, it will only make the inner more and more powerless. [Second] establish your own boundaries respect your own feelings, principles, before you do this, think about whether you want to, if you really do not want to do it, do not force yourself. If you respect your own boundaries, others will respect your boundaries. [Third] do due diligence on the job, just ask for due diligence on the job, the pursuit of perfection, will only reflect the person, I'm not good enough. Therefore, for their own work to define good principles, to be able to complete this person finished then is already enough. \u3010Fourth\u3011Boundary separation If you reject the person to retaliate against you, or the relationship breaks down, remember that it is not your fault. Protecting your boundaries is normal and a sign of love for yourself. If they can't understand and respect your boundaries, it's their private business, not yours, and not your fault. [Fifth] For a relationship as close as mother-to-parent, you can start by understanding what kind of love the other person wants to be loved, and that quality companionship is better than chatting every now and then. As much as possible, let your mother learn to love herself in the way she likes, and when appropriate you can encourage her to do so. This way you can save energy. [6th] To differentiate between heart walls and boundaries are not the same Some people, because they cannot differentiate between heart walls and boundaries, turn themselves into cold people. All of us need boundaries, but equally we need to care for others, otherwise there is no point in building interpersonal on relationships. I hope you enjoy being an understanding person and at the same time protecting your boundaries.Yourfriend:Audrey.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10969
       },
       {
        "question": "25 years old girl, always feel empty and bored in the last two months, always want to cry?",
        "description": "The first half of the year, I stayed at home and worked without stress, and I could read some books and learn English, but now I feel that this is very repetitive and boring, and every day is the same life.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Counseling, Talking and Listening, Psychological Assessment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Feeling like life isn't interesting, a little boring, like I can't find what life is all about, empty. I would be like that too. In fact, most people will be like this, right, brush drama, play games, shopping, are all ways to cope with, but it seems that there is no real solution to the problem. During this time, why don't you really calm down, think about what you want, what kind of life you want to live, and organize it. It's not a bad thing to do either.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you, is not at home for a long time, you can come out to the sun, out of the exercise, or else, swimming is also good, the movement will make people open the body and mind, such as anger, to the water, open arms, chest expansion after the opening, people will unconsciously become happier ...... do not like sports, you can also find something else to do, to find their favorite If you don't like exercise, you can find something else to do, find something you like to do or volunteer on the street. There are many volunteer associations that help disadvantaged people in need, and they are very thankful for it. When you help them, you can also gain strength, energy and happiness. ...... Try it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10580
       },
       {
        "question": "What if I'm 23 years old and have been beaten by my mother for a long time and now I've had enough?",
        "description": "Currently still in school, moved many times when I was small, my mother treats me with polarized attitudes, when it's good to shush me, my classmates praise and envy me, only I know myself, once we have a conflict, she will definitely hit and scold me, hit including but not limited to, slapping, pinching the inside of the thighs, kicking with the feet, swinging the hands, pulling the hair, etc., scolding including but not limited to, saying that my species doesn't belong to the human race, that my morals are corrupted, and I should end my life immediately, etc. I'm just an ordinary person, I've never broken the law or harmed anyone, and I'm usually happy when I'm nice to people and helping them, but once we have a conflict, I get very, very aggravated and agitated, often crying out and dropping things because she often goes beyond just talking about things and rises to the level of character assassination. She blames me for everything that's wrong, and every conflict that passes results in me actually giving in, and in a mental self-conscious forgiveness of me. I've had enough now, and sprouted the idea that I'd rather die out there than stay at home anymore.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Parental Communication, Growing Up",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject you are usually kind to people and happy when you help them, I think, you must be a kind girl, the problem you are experiencing is not your fault, it's just that your mom is emotionally bipolar and extreme. Her scolding of you should just be an outlet for her own emotions, not that you are really much at fault. I think it's not just you who needs psychological help, but also the mom who should be getting help with her emotional management. You didn't mention your dad, not sure what his role is in the family. If he's good at communicating, have a good conversation with your dad about your mom's problems, and consider taking her to see a psychiatrist, or a counselor. You are 23 years old and still pursuing your education, and you should be in college already. After you go to college, you are actually semi-detached from your family. If you don't want to stay in such a family, you can keep a proper distance from your family, and you can spend more time on your studies, internships, part-time jobs, and so on. Distance produces beauty, and a proper distance is a protection for each other. You don't have to put up with your mom's bad temper; she doesn't have someone to vent to, and perhaps seeks better ways to alleviate her own emotional problems. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for being kind and helpful. Through your description, I feel that your mother is an emotionally unstable person, I hope you can be spared from her, avoid or run away as much as possible when she hurts you, and communicate with her calmly when she is emotionally stable, and talk about your advice to her, sometimes when she can't vent her emotions, she may only vent it to the closest people, I hope you can forgive this imperfect mom, and I hope you can I hope you can forgive this imperfect mom, and I also hope you can help her relieve her emotions when she is willing to listen. I hope you can cherish this relationship, communicate with each other to solve the problem, find the right time and the right way to communicate, or write letters to express your thoughts and understand each other, and I hope that you can not be hurt, and be gentle with each other, and become masters of your own emotions, go on, and remember to help your mother, and make yourself stronger and better! , the world loves you all!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12244
       },
       {
        "question": "What to do when you're stuck with an emotion you can't send?",
        "description": "Incident: my child went to school out of town, about a 3 hour drive, school started on the 12th, I had my period for a few days, I started worrying about it half a month ago, had some anxiety, and I was getting more motion sickness. But I didn't want to stop going to drop him off, instead I helped him with most of the pre-school preparations, forms, information, and tuition payment. My husband has eye problems and I do a lot of things around the house. Yesterday he said he'd go in a carpool, and the carpool had to drop someone else off and then get out of the city before dropping us off, and I was a little anxious about how long it was taking, and I was worried about my health, and it just happened to be the second day, and the amount of volume, and I was worried I wouldn't be able to get to the bathroom in time. Just very anxious I guess. I expressed a bit of reluctance to go, and not being able to get into the school, and dropping off at the door the kid needed to go in alone. The child is still quite independent, he said to go alone on the line, my husband said you as a mother, the child went to school for the first time you do not go to see where the child's school. He always thinks I don't love my kids and don't value them enough. I think he is 18, usually deal with things on their own, their own and friends to go out of town to play, if you can go into the school district, other moms and dads are accompanied by us do not go will be a little bit missing, but now just sent to the door. My husband just sat on the bench very contemplative, I was helping the child to organize the clothes, unfinished comments section",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Ideas, Cheating, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, read your description feel a kind of pain, not understood by the husband's pain. Problem Analysis and Suggestions: As a mother and wife, I saw a home for the children and husband to pay for you, but you pay for the habit of them, it seems to be a little bit of a matter of course, you also mentioned that their own motion sickness, the child will come to some inconvenience during the first few days of the school period, their own basic needs and concerns, but did not get the family to understand and take care of, and in turn, also by the husband complained about. Husband's attitude towards you is more verbal blow than encouragement, you feel very hurt, he always seems to stand in the right place to blame you, and then some of the husband's own eye diseases at home are big and small things you are in the labor, he does not seem to do much just to you to pick bones, I understand your aggression. Husband treat your attitude and his family of origin on his education some relationship, his parents get along mode is likely to be one side is always blaming the other, so he learned the way to run the marriage is so. The eye problem for him may also be something that gives him an inferiority complex, and he gains some sense of superiority by putting you down by talking about you picking on you so he doesn't have to deal with the pain of an imperfect version of himself. Meet the netizen, but also by his gentle treatment so that you feel like that life is very yearning, and then think of their own husbands to treat their own attitude is to make you feel angry and injustice, but in a marriage, perhaps you are used to tolerate and agree with your husband's evaluation of you, so forget that you can use communication and rebuttal of the way to maintain their own. For understanding why your husband will do this does not mean that you resigned to this, but from a more comprehensive perspective to look at the marriage, you can do something to change this mode of living, how to make yourself comfortable, if by their own strength is difficult to sort out the problem and find solutions, you can try to make an appointment with a professional counselor to discuss with you, for the handling of negative emotions, have seen you like to use For dealing with negative emotions, I have seen that you like to use journaling as a way to vent is a good choice, and also recommend that you try positive thinking meditation, which is also very helpful in releasing emotions. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Some things are not absolutely right or wrong, just that we can accept and consider different points, so there will be a relatively big difference. If we saw the netizen is the opposite sex, and the relationship between each other is also more ambiguous, then some things are really we do not quite appropriate, if we think about it, if the other side has such a netizen, we are really hard to do calm. But many events do not happen without cause, through the description of the subject can feel that the husband in the child this time away from home, more as a bystander and the role of the conductor, and did not have a serious talk with the child, so that the child can feel the warmth of the family. In fact, the subject is not that he does not love his child, nor does he not want to go to see him off, but because of more negative emotions recently, he will be more anxious inside, which will lead to his own often think of some bad situations. Especially the child has already had some independence, so we hope to be able to children can be a little more self-reliant, just the husband does not understand this, not only did not sympathize with our uncomfortable during menstruation, when we cleaned up the time he also beside the finger, think we do not love their own children, but also take the previous pain points have been poking us. It's double torture, both mentally and physically, and the other person feels that we brought it all on ourselves, and there really are no words to describe how that feels. But there is no need for us to be so aggrieved and tormented, no matter what happens the child is certainly innocent, as a mother, watching her child grow up day by day, her heart is certainly elated, and the child is so understanding, although he has the ability to take care of himself, we can happily send the child off for a ride, because there are some paths we are not able to accompany. As for the relationship, we might as well take care of ourselves first, if we didn't have problems with each other's previous relationship, we probably wouldn't have had so much to talk about with that netizen, but there are some bottom lines we need to have, and we don't have to force ourselves if it's really not the right thing to do. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for trusting me and inviting me to answer your question first give you a big hug and hopefully some warmth and support! From your description, I can see that you are struggling with the conflicting feelings of taking care of yourself or taking care of others, and you are very distressed. The love and responsibility of being a mother to your child on the one hand, and caring for yourself as a woman during your physical period on the other, is a real dilemma, coupled with your husband's uncomfortable sounding \"nudges\" on the side. Today is the twelfth, and I don't know if you've made a decision yet, and what kind of decision you've made. I understand whatever the decision is. If I choose to send my child, I'll see a selfless mom who doesn't care about her own health for her child, and if I don't send my child, I'll see a strong mom who can see her child leave home alone. Alternatively, there is a way to send your child to school and still be able to take care of your body in its physical state. I guess you found the right way to take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "He suddenly said, you don't take out to go to Xiamen when the energy, I froze for a moment, the tears played a turn, and went back, instantly feel frozen, aggression and anger are gone, I'm like a gentle and calm good mother to ask the child what else is needed, while helping him pack things. I went to the field before to see a netizen, the kind of heart, the imperative in the feeling, do not care about anything, nothing to care about the feeling, is really quite good. I can't argue with what he said about me, I can't even be angry, I can't say anything, I was wrong in the first place. I suddenly felt like I was stuck somewhere. The feeling lasted until I exploded in the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep, I sat there thinking about the fact that I had to go drop off my kids, that I couldn't fight it, that I couldn't choose, and I started to retch, and kept breathing heavily to make myself feel better. I journaled, usually picking up a pen calms me down a bit, but it was still unbearably agitated, I wanted to scream, I couldn't, I had to go, I had to suffer, I had to let myself stay in this feeling, I didn't know how to deal with it to make myself feel better, I voice journaled, talked to myself, and stayed talking about being tired, and didn't go to bed until after 3. A word comes to mind, executing someone to death, perhaps the highest, most powerful way to make someone suffer is not physical pain, but mental lynching.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6975
       },
       {
        "question": "12 Women, why do they always want to die? Is she just in a rebellious stage or is it a psychological problem?",
        "description": "The last six months do not understand how, probably because of too much stress in the study plus parents of all kinds of incomprehension always want to commit suicide, and even ready to knife, write a good suicide note, and good friends to confide in them will only be there to laugh, said I am not in the second, and even girlfriends do not pay much attention to say you cheer on their own things to go, and parents have said many times want to go to see a psychiatrist, and always said that you think too much, you hurry to go to the review this type of I'm not interested in studying. Now I am more and more uninterested in learning, almost every day I want to kill myself but because of the fear of pain can not go down, am I just in the rebellious period or psychological problems?",
        "keywords": "Mood, Depression, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the owner. You are only 12 years old and you are carrying this huge anxiety and pressure inside you and there is no one around you to understand and support you, it feels very painful, doesn't it? You want someone who understands you, cares about you, and can give you support and comfort when you face all kinds of problems and pressures. When your needs are not met and you cannot find any other solution, you only think of \"death\" as a solution. In fact, \"death\" is not an effective solution, and you don't need to go that far. At your age, you are beginning to know more about the world, and you are receiving more and more complicated information from the outside world, and your self-consciousness is also being formed and strengthened step by step. The various conflicts between the outside world and the inner world have formed a great impact on you, and you don't know how to face and solve them for a while, so you are also very confused and anxious inside, right? You also mentioned that you may have felt so painful inside recently because of too much pressure from studying and parents' lack of understanding. Are you in the fifth or sixth grade now? As you are facing the critical period from elementary school to secondary school, studying is indeed a very important thing and there is also a lot of pressure. Your parents must have given you a lot of expectations and pressure, but probably due to busy work or some other reasons, they didn't take care of your feelings and emotions, and just thought that you were overthinking things, and that you should focus on your studies. Your best friends and girlfriends have different concerns and feelings, and they don't understand you and offer comfort either. It can be seen that you are a person with a sensitive heart, with your own opinions and ideas, and a high degree of self-awareness, and you will think more than your peers in your thoughts, so they can't understand you for a while, but it doesn't mean that they don't love you, don't value you, or don't care about you, it only means that you are different from them in terms of your thoughts and concerns. You might as well sort yourself out, figure out what the pressure you're facing mainly comes from, and then address it in a targeted way. If it's academic stress, you can look at what the specific problem is - is the course too hard to understand? Too much homework to do? Worrying about not doing well on a test? ...... Regardless, there is always a solution to problems related to studying, because these problems are just as likely to be experienced by your classmates and friends. Your teachers naturally want their students to take their studies seriously and get good grades, so they will also help you to face and solve these problems. You can talk to your teachers and seek their help to guide you through specific problems and rediscover the confidence and joy of learning. You can also talk to your parents and let them know how you are studying and how you feel, what difficulties you are facing, and how they need to help and support you. Then they will not simply say \"you think too much\" and dismiss you. At the same time, also know how to combine labor and leisure, in the tension of the study, they should also be appropriate to relax. Cultivate some extracurricular hobbies or sports, find friends with common interests to go together, to find and feel the beauty and hope in life. I can see that you attach great importance to learning, and hope to study well and be a good student who is good at learning and upward mobility. Study problems make you feel great pressure, that's why you have these troubles now. When you have these worries and stresses, it means that you value them and want to solve them. When you want to solve them, it is the beginning of a change, which means that there is still hope for everything. So don't give up so easily. Forget about suicide, you still have a long way to go in life, there are still a lot of good things waiting for you to experience, your parents, friends, teachers still love you, care about you, and will always be with you. You can also come up here more often to pour out your heart and seek help, we are all here. The world and I love you. Than heart~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16745
       },
       {
        "question": "What about a 22 year old girl who has been unable to communicate with her father?",
        "description": "Before has been outside the university, now the epidemic at home waiting for the start of the school conflict even more conflict. Since childhood, my father for me are poorly educated, leading me to have a very serious material inferiority complex, his own quality of life is much higher than mine. Every time he comes home from work, he starts to accuse me of doing this or that. Always use his set to impose on me, college when he thought he was sending me several boxes of apples and other heavy fruit, said that I and students contact feelings, every time I pick up the courier I went to take, every time to sink to the next day arm is sore. I am a very introverted person, he is more smooth, said every day that I am not introverted not to adapt to society. After the graduate school, the summer at home and urged me to take the four professional eight, I was angry and not an English major simply can not test, and then urged me to take the doctorate, to internship. As a girl, every time I want to let him touch makeup will be he said, painting so good-looking what is the use, said I am disgusting not work. Communicate with him, he is still always complaining that I do not understand him, do not care about him, he smokes at home and drinks outside until late when I do my best to stop taking care of him. He is my father I love him, but how to establish an effective communication mode with him?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication, Family Control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, I can see that you love your father and your father loves you, you're just both going about it the wrong way. Your father is doing the best he can, trying to give you everything he can, including how to get a foothold in society, but forgetting to consider your needs. And you haven't found a way to connect with him internally. Here can give to provide a few methods to you, I hope to help you. 1, active communication. Not to say very serious conversation, and take the initiative to chat, to share your life. You can talk to your father about the things you usually do in school, such as the subject mentioned, your father sends you apples. Don't rush to complain to your father, you can casually mention it when you chat with your father afterwards, and say, \"Last time you sent me a few boxes of apples, I ate them with my classmates, and it really helps our relationship, but you sent too many, I went to pick up the courier by myself, and I couldn't carry them at all, and the next day my arm was still sore, so next time, send a little bit less! \" Let the father feel that his contribution to you do get your recognition, but he also has poorly considered, he also needs to consider your objective situation.2, think differently. The subject can understand, the father let you change the character to adapt to society, the examination of the four professional eight, the examination of the blog, internship, in the end is for what? Is it to fulfill his unfulfilled wishes? Or he felt assured of your current situation? Maybe in his cognition, to deal with the eight sides of things, the examination of the doctorate and so on in order to be based on the society, you hope you can be based on the society, so he used his own such standards to require you. If you do not recognize, in addition to communication, you need to let your father see your own behavior habits of their own standards can also make you in society have a head start, so that the father knows that you have the ability to plan for their own future, he recognized your ability, and will not interfere again. 3, respect and understanding. In the father put forward his point of view, you can also put forward their own views, but remember, not to refute, but to discuss, you can use some of the \"maybe there are other ways, such as ...\" \"maybe ... more effective! \", if necessary, you can use the facts to speak, so that he can see that your method is more effective than his method. Of course, with your father's current attitude, to let him accept is not an easy thing, but the subject does not have to rush, when differences in views, you can calm down and analyze the reasons for differences and solutions to achieve common ground while reserving differences in communication results. 4, more tolerance. Do not be calculating, such as the father out drinking until late, you do take care of him, but your emotions can be passed on to the father, the father can feel that you do not like him this way, perhaps he will feel that you dislike him this way. In fact, the father will also have a lot of difficulties outside, he will not talk to you, but he can feel your worry about him, he will be very satisfied. 5, there is a mistake to correct. Do not hide their mistakes, do not be afraid of your father will criticize you again, you can properly let your father to help you correct your mistakes, so that your father can see your growth, but also you will be more and more assured. Said so much, in fact, the most important still lies in the subject and the father's communication, I hope the subject can be combined with my suggestions have to implement, and the father's relationship can be improved....",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14938
       },
       {
        "question": "Have a loving boyfriend, good friends, but still feel low in existence?",
        "description": "Junior in college, can do a lot on my own but often feel very lonely. Has a good relationship with all of my roommates (because everyone's personality is pretty good), but it always feels like people aren't close. Has a very low presence in class. One can't help but feel inferior to everyone else, unattractive personality, not as pretty as others, not as good as others, not as dashing as others. Did not go to the outside world to see, every time will not be able to help but feel with a lot of different girls more envious of other people's character, face value body, achievement, ability, experience ...... also, in the dormitory group dare not take the initiative to speak, because once said a sentence, no one back, and other roommates sent, as long as I see, I basically will be a second back, and the other roommate, as long as I see, I basically will be a second back, so I do not understand. So I don't understand. Everyone says I'm nice, I'm nice to everyone (one roommate said the favorite person in the whole dorm is me), why can't I get the same treatment back? I have a boyfriend who loves me, and a good friend who's been with me for ten years. But I just feel like I have a low sense of existence, and there is nothing special about me. Also afraid of loneliness, afraid of the awkwardness of human interaction, very sensitive. But can't help myself. Plus, I'm going to be a senior soon, and I'm very anxious. It's really hard.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There is no world of their own, although everyone lives in the world of others to varying degrees, and you are swayed more by others, many times defined as not confident, insecure, people are very nice, for the sake of others, and so on no pursuit of their own life, it's time to live for themselves, clear on what they should do for the rest of their lives, and then go to the moment to put their energy into a meaningful need for a process, need to start with every detail to begin with, pay attention! Patience! Patience! Definitely patience!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13485
       },
       {
        "question": "18 year old girl, I think I have a crush on my cousin?",
        "description": "It's a cousin, he's 9 years older than me. It's kind of hard to talk about it, but I'm hoping someone will give me some advice, I'm kind of conflicted inside. It's something my brother he doesn't know about. I am the kind of girl who is more introverted in front of my parents and elders, and more open in front of my friends and girlfriends. I have an inexplicable feeling for my brother, a feeling that is very reassuring and safe. Sometimes my mother and my sister-in-law in some of my shortcomings or say very excessive words my brother will help me speak. Because he knows I don't know how to refute them. A very embarrassing incident happened when I was staying at my sister-in-law's house during the summer vacation of my first year of junior high school, and my room was next to my brother's. One hot afternoon, I was staying at my sister-in-law's house. One hot afternoon, I wanted to turn on the fan to sleep, my sister-in-law said, \"Why don't you sleep with your brother, it's cooler,\" and my brother let me come in to blow the air conditioning. I fell asleep in his room, but I felt something on my lips as I fell asleep. I knew it was my brother, and there was no one else in the room but my brother and I. I didn't dare open my eyes or make a sound. I didn't dare to open my eyes or make a sound, I was afraid of scaring my brother and then both of us were embarrassed. So I kept my lips tightly closed. But but but... Instead, he started kissing... I felt so embarrassed that I hid from my brother later, but not explicitly.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "People will like different people at different times, this stage will like this person, that stage will like that person, are normal, the subject does not need to have a psychological burden. You just need to know that you are still unstable - a child is at an emotionally unstable stage and will like all kinds of people of the opposite sex. Just keep it normal.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You should know that the three major events in life: study, work, marriage, are the turning point of fate, once a certain point of error, and no ability to correct the error, then it is likely to cause lifelong regrets.1. If the subject is a senior student, then the examination of a good university is your top priority at present, the only way to prove your ability and value, once you are distracted by the examination did not do well, your parents first of all, they would not agree with any of your ideas, and will even hit you; 2. If the subject is a college student, it's completely normal to have your own ideas and like your cousin, but it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do:Will your great-aunt agree? What do your parents think? If you are rushing to get married, close relatives can't get married because the children are easily deformed and get all kinds of diseases. So don't throw in the towel so easily just because your cousin cares about you and understands you. If something happens, it's you who will lose out, your parents who will lose face, and the relatives won't have anything to do. In the future, if you marry someone else, this is all a lingering shadow in your heart, you don't want to live in the shadow of self-blame for the rest of your life, do you? So, firmly stop your cousin and don't harbor any illusions. If he tempts you to tell your parents, it's better than taking the blame and blaming yourself all by yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16691
       },
       {
        "question": "Whenever you argue and fight, you feel that there's no point in living and you want to die and get it over with?",
        "description": "Previously and family life, my mother will always fight with me, smack me do not love to talk, smack me will not be like a brother to coax smooth them, this kind of, and then I will be very painful, very sad, as a child there have been many times suicidal thoughts, and currently living with my boyfriend, life will always be because of the different points of view, there are differences in the quarrel, nearly four years, I will go from only quarrel to go to the calm, but I'm so tired. Nearly a year and a half, I'm very difficult, many times I want to die, just afraid of the pain, but also afraid of not dying into a cripple, once the argument, I really feel so hard, I can feel the heart in the sadness, I feel that I should not be alive to let her continue to suffer like this. Sometimes it takes a long time to slow down and I become normal again and try to live, but I really hate arguing, it's very painful.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, vulnerability, tears",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "No one likes to argue, and winning or losing is infuriating. We can't make things go our way, but we can try to keep ourselves from getting angry. Arguments are mostly due to different points of view, quarrels are about each other, anger is about trying to change the other person, and frustration is a sign of powerlessness. Well, then say to yourself: I have grown up with a certain amount of self-awareness and have begun to supply myself with energy. We need recognition, but are not dependent on it. Not getting frustrated by not living up to other people's standards. Mom is the initial source of giving us a sense of security, but not the only source. Moms are ordinary people with their own favorites. Even the same seed, when scattered on the ground, grows into trees of different heights, and you, again, are the only one in the world. Rituals increase the subconscious mind. Tell yourself, in a suggestive way, to break free from bad habitual thought patterns, and learn to encourage and reward yourself for every improvement. Allow for different views, time will discern the truth. Your main focus needs to be on direction, not on the guidance of others on the way to trying to realize your vision. It's like you're flying by the seat of your pants and the surprised words and actions of others are passed over. Smile, go your way, only you know what kind of life you want to live, and that's in the chase, not in the mouths of others. So there is no need or time to stop and be miserable.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for your invitation to answer, it seems that between you and your boyfriend you are repeating a relationship pattern that you once had with your mother, and allowing yourself to be caught up in the past experience once again, this relationship pattern, if it doesn't change, will repeat itself in all future intimate relationships, except for your current boyfriend, and the same pattern will repeat itself in future intimate relationships, the change of this relationship pattern is possible at any time, but it's just that perhaps you need to see What's inside this relationship pattern, what kind of dynamics are driving this relationship pattern and how can you make this relationship pattern repeat in your life again?",
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        "questionID": 6005
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       {
        "question": "Anxiety after a drinking break, always worried about saying or doing something you shouldn't?",
        "description": "After drinking, I always worry that I have said or done something that I shouldn't have said or done, but I can't ask others, so I become anxious, is this OCD? What can I do to solve this situation?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Therapeutic Approaches, Counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I am happy to answer your query. The confusion you are responding to in your question is how to alleviate the anxiety of losing your cool after drinking a short slice of alcohol and not knowing anything about it. I think the most effective and simple solution is: drink less to avoid losing your cool; and if you do lose your cool, find someone to ask about the situation and find out what happened to you. Of course, the fact that you've raised the issue here means: you can't avoid drinking and you'll still drink too much at the drop of a hat. You still can't put your head down and ask someone what happened to you. So, let's analyze how to break your anxiety according to the drinking environments you may experience. Drinking is unavoidable at this time [in the work socializing environment], and the probability is that you will get drunk, this time \"to drink or not to drink\", \"drunk or not to get drunk\" are difficult to control and manage. This kind of environment is most likely to have the drunken and disorderly behavior you mentioned. The best thing to do at this point is to discuss the situation with your friends before you drink, and once you realize that you are starting to show drunken behavior, send yourself back to rest in time and leave the party for a while, so that you can minimize the occurrence of drunken behavior. If you are still worried that it will be difficult to stop your drunken behavior, you can give a \"precautionary shot\" to everyone at the table, informing them of your possible drunken behavior and apologizing after you finish drinking to eliminate any misunderstandings that may have arisen from your drunken behavior. If you are not at a work party, it is easier to control whether you drink or not, and whether you get drunk or not. The best thing to do is to inform your friends in advance about your behavior and ask them to help you stop it. Of course, in this case, it is best to consciously control your drinking and proactively avoid the occurrence of drunken and disorderly behavior. [Thinking from another angle] The above are some coping strategies for both scenarios. I don't know if you have been offended by drunken behavior in the past or if these concerns are just your own guesses and imagination. If the latter, are there some other things in your life that you worry about? Do you still feel anxious about it? If not only for this thing, in your life a large number of similar worries produce anxiety, then we should also consider improving their cognitive thinking. Otherwise, we won't be able to get to the root of the anxiety we feel about ourselves as a result of our drinking disorder.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ this kind of anxiety should not belong to the obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is more of a kind of speculation on the unknown caused by the uncertainty of the stress reaction, you are not sure whether you have done something wrong, which is also a kind of loss of control of life, accurately said to have a sense of loss of control of that memory. Uncertainty always tends to make people ruminate because people instinctively want everything to be within their grasp, their expectations. This situation is also a reminder not to be greedy and to avoid unnecessary trouble. Are you worried that you said or did something you shouldn't have because you have a vague feeling that you did do that? Or is it an unfounded suspicion? This worry is in part because you do inwardly want to say something you don't think you should say, or to do something you don't think is quite right. You just don't express it out of politeness or moral restraint. Sometimes this subconscious expression will show itself in the form of dreams. And in the face of your current anxiety, the safest advice would be to ask someone on the side. You can say, \"I'm sorry, I drank myself out of it that day, I wonder if I said or did anything wrong? If so, please bear with me.\" A lot of times you can tell based on the other person's attitude if they did something similar that day or not. And if you really don't want to ask, you can also see in your future interactions with them if there is any change in your relationship and if there is any change in his attitude towards you? These can be used as a basis for verification. Good luck ~.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, the owner; have observed that the owner is worried about the anxiety he feels after drinking and breaking down, saying what he doesn't visit say and doing what he shouldn't do. I also noticed that the owner expressed her confusion positively and sought help from outside which can definitely help the owner to know herself better and understand herself. Now I'll share my observations which may help the owner to have more perspectives on her own problems. 1. If you really said or did something you shouldn't have said or done, what was the picture in your mind? Anxiety is the fear of the future, and may not know what the fear is? Then we can try to relax, and then imagine if you really did what you shouldn't do, said what you shouldn't say, then what is the picture in your mind at this time. Especially the first image. Often the image that may be there at this time there is is the fear that your image will be tarnished. That he or she is such a good person, but what he or she did or said after the drunken break made him or her a bad person. And another picture may be worried about their own attack on others, then this time may be their usual suppressed a lot of emotions, afraid of their own these emotions in their own unconscious time to run out of the monster, hurt others, etc., here you need to relax yourself, and then make associations. Through their own associations to know what they are worried about, then it is possible to ease their anxiety. It is also possible to target the search for ways to adjust. 2, to deepen their understanding of their own understanding of the owner of the drink breaks, but also not good to ask the psychology of others. Then we can not deepen their understanding of their own to see what they drink after the break will not do what, what to say. At this time we can find a friend whom we trust very much and ask for his help. Just drink together until you get drunk. Then ask your friend to see what you look like when you are drunk, what kind of a state you are in. By doing so, we can deepen our understanding of ourselves. What might be learned is that one falls asleep right after getting drunk? And that there might be things to say, and that might not be hurtful words? So is our anxiety, our worry unnecessary? If not, then it's true that there will be some bad behavior or words. Then also learn to accept such a self. 3, learn to accept the real self accept the real self what does it mean? Acceptance of their own can not change, to focus on their own can be adjusted part. Give yourself tender care and understanding. Even if you really say and do something after you break the movie. Other people don't understand themselves, but they still have to understand themselves. Because that's what happens in the context of one's own unconsciousness. And acceptance is the beginning of change, only if we accept our true selves, realize that we may not be able to change this habit, then we can focus on our own not drink breaks ah! I don't drink too much then I don't have to worry about it. If you can't do it yourself, you can ask for help and supervision! This is the part that you can adjust. You can even cut down on the frequency of drinking and so on. Then naturally our worries will be gone. So the point is to accept the parts we can't change and focus on the parts we can adjust.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that the subject is very worried about what may happen to him after he drinks and breaks the tablets, and he is already so anxious that he wants to label himself as \"obsessive-compulsive disorder\". First of all, I would like to tell you that your situation is not related to OCD, unless you often force yourself to break the movie, and then experience this kind of anxiety. Secondly, I would like to ask the question subject, this kind of drinking drinking breaks, in the subject whether it happens often? If it happens often, is it accompanied by this state of anxiety after every break? If it's just an occasional recent drinking break, why is the questioner so anxious about behaviors that may or may not occur after the break? Why does the subject worry that he or she is not in a good position to ask someone after saying or doing something he or she shouldn't have said or done? Wouldn't it be normal to meet up with a drinking buddy after a night out and ask, \"I didn't do anything rude that day after the night out, did I? Is it because there is something special about the status of the drinking buddy that the person feels uncomfortable and anxious about asking? Or is it because you have a different attitude toward your drinking buddy than you usually do, and you are afraid to \"tell the truth after drinking\"? Without more information, I can't offer a better solution. However, in view of the situation described by the questioner, we can suggest the following. If the questioner really can't talk about it, he or she can determine whether he or she has done something he or she shouldn't have done by observing the behavior of the drinker. If the drinker doesn't show anything unusual, then the subject can tell herself that what she is worried about hasn't happened, and she doesn't have to be anxious about it at all. There is also no need to think about whether the drinker is embarrassed to show it or anything else; as long as the drinker is behaving normally, the subject can treat everything as normal. In this case, instead of worrying for no reason, resolve to avoid future breaks. Everyone worries about things that are out of their control. And drinking breaks is a case of being out of control, so it's a perfectly normal situation for the subject to appear worried about it. But it's obviously not normal to let that worry interfere with one's normal life. Even if you do something inappropriate after drinking, under normal circumstances, the people around you can understand. If one really does go too far, then the subject doesn't have to be anxious now, because someone will definitely let the subject know in the first place. Therefore, there is absolutely no need for the topic owner to get into this kind of self-entanglement now. Finally, the questioner is still reminded to avoid drinking out of turn as much as possible. Above all, I hope it can help the subject.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, you said that when you drink and break, you always worry about saying or doing something you shouldn't and therefore become anxious. So, I would like to ask the owner, do you often get drunk? Drinking breaks are usually the result of drinking too much alcohol, which exceeds the body's ability to detoxify, leading to paralysis of the cerebral nerves and causing a brief loss of memory. Frequent excessive drinking may be somewhat addictive to alcohol. All addictions, from a psychoanalytic point of view, are not so much about how appealing that thing is as they are about a betting shift. If a person suffers from too much inferiority in real life, he will divert his attention to some object to indulge himself and gain a kind of support and fulfillment. These addictions are tobacco addiction, alcohol addiction, sex addiction, drug addiction, game addiction and so on. When a person is in a state of intoxication, it is an experience of dazed release or peak relaxation, and also in a state of defenselessness. If the defenses are too heavy when sober, it is possible for what has been repressed for too long to be released when drunk and the subconscious mind is relaxed. However, the way it manifests will be different for each person. Some people, who are usually serious, may laugh when they are drunk; some people, who usually love to laugh, may cry when they are drunk; some people will fall asleep when they are drunk; some people talk especially much when they are drunk; and some people become especially manic when they are drunk.......If you are always worried about saying what you shouldn't say or doing what you shouldn't do, and you don't want to ask others, you are becoming anxious as a result. It means that you may usually have a lot of things in your heart that you don't want to say, you don't trust the people around you, and you care a lot about other people's opinions. If you only have this anxiety after a drunken break, it's not quite OCD. You are just a little concerned about your image and face, and your inner sense of being exposed is too strong. How to break this situation? Think about the following questions, and then find a solution.1. Why do you often drink to get drunk? Shifting objects and dependence on alcohol. Is it that you used to transfer your spiritual support for an important family member to alcohol? Lost your dependence on the person and used alcohol to paralyze yourself? If so, find out who this person is and see what happened to you before and if it can still be mended and repaired, if not, try to rationalize it, find someone to talk to about it and release your emotions. Same goes for if something is not as good as it should be. Don't all the bitterness in the drink.2. Why does drinking break? Although the physiological explanation is that the amount of alcohol consumed exceeds the body's ability to detoxify, resulting in transient amnesia, psychological analysis, it is possible to deliberately choose to temporarily forget about past events or real situations. What is it that you want to forget? Think about it. If you don't choose to forget, can you accept it? 3. Why do you feel anxious about the fear of saying or doing something wrong after drinking and breaking up? When you are sober, you can boldly say it, do it, and share it with your close friends and loved ones, so you won't bury it in your heart and worry about exposing it in a moment of inadvertence. Everyone has their own difficulties, sometimes, do not necessarily have to endure alone, even if others can not help you, say it, for you, will ease the burden. Our face is not important, the important thing is to keep the heart easy, life will not be anxious. Good luck!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see word for word. I always ask people the day after I get drunk, did I do anything yesterday that I shouldn't have? Did I say something I shouldn't have? This is actually a very normal situation. Everyone is different when they get drunk, some people will huff and puff, some people love to do things that make people confused, sometimes getting drunk is the true expression of a person's inner release. This shouldn't be considered OCD. But it's not a good idea to keep thinking this way. You can reduce the frequency of your drunkenness to avoid saying things you shouldn't say. One can also ask their friends if they have said anything they shouldn't have or not to avoid saying something out of turn. It's always right to drink less.",
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        "questionID": 7420
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       {
        "question": "How do you break 30 years old when you realize that your mental level is stagnant at the 4-5 year old stage",
        "description": "Recently, I found that I tend to interact with people is to please, obey, have upset not to say, and easy to upset, see this do not like that do not like, but repressed not to say. This is my impression of the emotional pattern of 4-5 years old, I have a little less than ideal, I cried, but my mother not only did not comfort, is to let me cry there, and later is scolding, because scolding afraid, it becomes have emotions do not say out, accumulated in the psyche, no one to tell. Previously I do not like to socialize, because socializing I found myself unnatural, or belong to that particular inconspicuous, do not deny others, as well as for what to eat and play, I am very with the type, and the type, over time I think it is very meaningless, and do not want to socialize, because it is very hypocritical. Now I started to socialize again, but found that my social mode is still afraid to conflict, belong to the repressed type, so I find myself with people to socialize very unnatural, very tired, only to go home to have a kind of relaxation of the mind. How do I break this?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Personality Traits, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You tend to be pleasing and obedient in your interactions with people, suppressing your needs, afraid to start conflicts, and feeling tired. These behaviors and feelings of yours tend to be a kind of ingratiating personality psychology. ****** When you were 4 or 5 years old, if you cried, your mother ignored you and comforted you, or even scolded you, causing you to suppress your emotions and not dare to express them. This long-term experience will make you develop a pleasing mentality. Because we are not capable of being independent when we are young, we must rely on adults to take care of us and fulfill our survival and security needs. When we develop negative emotions, adults do not accept them or give positive feedback, but respond with negative means of scolding and suppressing. Our young minds feel threatened by our survival and develop a sense of fear and insecurity, so we respond by suppressing our emotions and needs, and by pleasing and obeying adults in order to avoid conflict and harm, to gain acceptance and approval, and to survive. In the long run, the pleasing personality is formed, and even as an adult, this pattern of thinking and behavior is still used to cope with the outside world and interpersonal interactions. As you can see, people with a pleasing personality experience fear in interpersonal interactions, find it difficult to reject others, want to be recognized by others, and do not understand their own boundaries and bottom lines, which means it is difficult for them to be themselves easily and freely. Over time, it is natural to feel physically and mentally exhausted, and to feel pressure and resistance to social activities. ****** So how to break it?1. Acceptance of self First of all, you have to accept this character trait of your own, accept your own true experience and emotions, do not need to resist it, dislike or shame, do not deny its existence. To accept it as a characteristic of you, a feature of you. Although such a personality and behavior can have some negative effects on relationships, in a positive sense, this character trait of yours is actually a protection for you. Due to the influence of the growing environment, your such a characteristic can protect you to grow up smoothly, avoid harm, integrate into society, it is your response to the outside world and the formation of a \"functional self\", so it is of significance. 2, learn to emotionally express the need to learn to accept their own emotional expression. Whether it's positive or negative emotions, they have a meaning and need to be expressed, not suppressed. You can try to learn to express your emotions and thoughts to trustworthy or close people, often practice, get positive and affirmative feedback, and then expand to more people. It's also a good idea to write down your emotions and thoughts, and free-write whatever comes to mind. Not only can you ease your negative emotions, but also allows you to actually understand what your inner thoughts and needs are, and affirmation of the self. 3, looking for safe experience can go to notice and look for safe experience in their own lives. Feel, in what kind of environment space, with what people, how to do, so that you feel safe, sure and free. And then more self-adjustment and change in this experience, slowly eliminate their fear of socialization and insecurity. 4, set the bottom line to explore and set their own boundaries and bottom line. In the interaction with people, there should be a certain sense of boundaries, to be clear about where their own bottom line, to what extent they can withstand, if you touch the bottom line will have how to feel and react, their own expectations in this regard. This will help you strengthen your sense of control and avoid being hurt by crossing boundaries and touching unknown bottom lines, and creating anxiety and fear when you lose control. These are some of my suggestions and I hope they are useful to you. The ingratiating personality mental model has formed a fixed pattern of thinking and behavior after a long period of influence and accumulation, and it is difficult to make changes at once. You need to give yourself some time and opportunity to experience and try, and slowly adjust and change.",
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          "answer_text": "Upstairs are quite comprehensive, I briefly said my personal thoughts, your current character is due to your family of origin, your mother's negligence of discipline and love for you, so that you formed this pleasing personality. When you were a small child, your closest caretakers turned a blind eye to your needs and scolded you at every turn, making you afraid to be your true self and do what your mother wanted you to do. The self you show is not your true self, a child is not capable of independent survival, you can only obey and please, so that your nurturer can like you and not hate you, and you can survive well. That means that pit of the family of origin was stepped on by you, but we can't blame the parents, after all, they are also first time parents, it is inevitable that there are mistakes. Now that you are thirty years old, you actually have the ability to think and survive independently as well as to shoulder social responsibilities. You say, \"I find myself unnatural and tired when I interact with people, and it's only when I go home that I have a sense of mind relaxation.\" My advice is to be true to yourself and not worry about being rejected or embarrassed. Being true to yourself is not about getting into conflict with others, it's about being sensible and true to your innermost thoughts and opinions. Of course in that case, some people may not like it. Then let them not like it. In time, you can still find friends with similar interests, and those who don't like it will leave, leaving behind those who like you. Also, get out more, be more tolerant and make new friends. Good luck.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello! Listening to your account, I feel that the subject has a desire for social enhancement, but suffer from the lack of skills it ~ in fact, our minds have the idea of wanting to get better, it is already half of the victory oh. Interpersonal communication patterns are not innate. Rather, we are in the process of growing up, imitation, acquired. Therefore, it can not all be attributed to their own mistakes, so you will be much less burdened mentally. Listening to the subject's account, which can be traced back to childhood, the way your mother interacted with you was a slight influence. From here, it is important to mentally remind yourself from time to time that that was you as a child. It can't represent you now, after a lot of growing up, socialization, and intellectual learning, the reality of you is very different from the childhood you. Learning, first of all, starts with imitation. Seeing how others do it. Start with the simplest, first of all with a sincere smile, followed by verbal, physical communication. You can train yourself to start with your friends, loved ones, and children who understand you best, and then gradually expand to coworkers. At first, there may be unnatural, hit a wall situation, these are normal, do not be discouraged. Slowly, I believe you will get better and better. Cheer and blessings!",
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       {
        "question": "What should I do if I suddenly have a lot of pimples on my face and I am in a bad mood?",
        "description": "I don't know why, face suddenly grow many many acne, before not have acne when, will comfort others will always be good, see a doctor take medicine exercise, work and rest routine, etc., said very well, when it comes to their own turn, found that it is really difficult to deal with, not sure whether recently contact with the computer too much, because of the radiation acne? The mood is so bad, the state is not good, very anxious.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ especially can understand the owner's feelings, because I used to have a similar experience. I hope my experience can give you some encouragement ~ I used to have not a single pimple on my face, but in my senior year of high school, probably due to hormonal changes caused by too much stress, the pimples on my face came in a mountainous line. During that period of time, I became very low self-esteem and morbid. I didn't allow others to touch my face or my own hands to touch my face because I felt that the whole environment and air were dirty. Especially during my senior year of high school, my face seriously affected the progress of my revision, and I couldn't concentrate on my revision at all. Not only was it hard for me to look at myself, but other people's eyes also made me feel anxious. At that time, I consulted many doctors, because acne in always recurring after getting well. Therefore, for two years, I was stuck in a cycle of \"acne - doctor - medication - improvement - relapse\". I can't count the number of creams I put on my face and the number of medications I took orally, not including the health supplements and maintenance products I got from my friends and family. After that, I finally had a relapse at one point and consulted the right doctor. I say the right doctor because that doctor told me that the acne on my face was not just any acne, but some kind of dermatitis. It was then that it dawned on me and I realized the right way to prevent this kind of dermatitis. If you can't handle it by yourself, it's better to consult a doctor to make sure you're using the right treatment (don't listen to any prescription) and to get rid of your acne more effectively. It is also important to have a good routine and good health, as well as to keep your mood stable. At the same time, try to do other things to distract yourself from focusing on your face. Realize that acne on your face is only temporary, they are not going to follow you around for the rest of your life ~! It's not an easy battle, but I hope the owner can hold on and not be defeated by the enemy (acne)! Let's work together, cheers~!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Long acne is a normal phenomenon, I hope you do not excessive worry, usually pay attention to diet, good skin care, good work and rest, etc., in fact, I was before the skin is quite good, and then there is a period of time suddenly burst long, and then try a lot of medicine ah, skin care ah and so on, in fact, up to now is not completely good, there are a lot of people behind the back of the discussion about me, say how I am like this and so on, in fact, the beginning of a very sad, but the back of all the! In their own slowly adjusted, I hope you can have a good state of mind, long acne is very normal, will also be good.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19093
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't sleep well and rarely talk. What's going on?",
        "description": "I can't sleep with something on my mind, I just play with my cell phone, I don't want to talk, what's wrong?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Moods, Anxiety, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, nice to meet you. There is something on your mind that you can't sleep, this may be because the current matter has created more pressure on you than you can bear, and the feeling of powerlessness you have created makes you want to get rid of this sense of pressure and helplessness, maybe you play the cell phone is just your own way to reduce the pressure. When emotions can not be reasonable venting, will be immersed in their own emotions, will not be willing to contact the outside world, not willing to take care of others. When you meet things you can not deal with, you have to calmly analyze the cause of the matter, to see whether it is an internal or external reason, whether it is controllable or uncontrollable, is a controllable internal reason, you need to focus on the personal side, so as to deal with things, if it is an uncontrollable reason, to learn to accept. We need to change the things we can change and accept the things we cannot change. We will always encounter one thing or another as we grow up, we need to keep a level head, and all kinds of emotional experiences are an experience. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6362
       },
       {
        "question": "Depressed, obsessive-compulsive, anxious, and afraid of that small chance of coming down on you?",
        "description": "I had anxiety and depression at a very early age, and over the years I've bumped around a lot more than others, and I've often wondered what the inner world of a normal person is like, but I can't control myself, and I can only be in such a state. I got married at the age of 27 this year, and now I'm 32 weeks pregnant, and I'm not happy at all during the whole pregnancy, and I never want to say anything to the baby in my belly. Because I wasn't in that mood or state. The whole pregnancy forced four-dimensional is the most torturous, let's talk about a recent incident, because the pre-pregnancy ate a piece of yu ting, after a period of pregnancy, the first maternity check with the doctor said, people say it's fine, but recently began to return to think about it, because by chance to see emergency contraceptive pills have to lead to malformation of the reproductive organs of the small probability, and then into this vicious circle can not come out, because the hospital is not to the genitals! I want to go to a private clinic to have a look, but I am worried that doing more ultrasounds will be bad for the baby, and I am wondering if it is my own neurotic idea that the worry is unnecessary. I don't know how to communicate these problems to my family, I have already done more ultrasounds than others, but I am afraid of the small chance of it happening to me, won't it be the sky that will collapse?",
        "keywords": "Behavioral, obsessive-compulsive, hypochondriac, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the owner. You have had anxiety and depression, which often tends to unconsciously have an anxious and pessimistic attitude and mood towards yourself, your life, and many things, and this negativity is also beyond the level of normal people. You are pregnant. Pregnant women are under tremendous mental stress due to hormonal changes in their bodies, the stress of pregnancy events, and the tediousness of related matters, and their moods are prone to fluctuate, which also reinforces your feelings. Therefore you tend to fall into this present anxious, obsessive, pessimistic state of mind, unconsciously worrying about many things and fearing that small probability events may happen to you. As you can see, your pessimistic view of some things now are with a great deal of bias, and the negative aspects of things are magnified and not objective facts. Leaving aside the question of whether or not the small probability event you are worried about will have an adverse effect on the fetus, the emotional state of a pregnant woman has a great impact on the fetus, especially large fluctuations in the state, or long-term anxiety, are not good for the fetus as well as the pregnant woman herself. There is an emotional ABC theory that states that our emotions and reactions (C) are caused by our different beliefs and perceptions (B) of events (A). If we perceive things as positive, we will remain positive emotionally and vice versa we will feel negative and pessimistic, which has nothing to do with the reality of the event. Therefore, you have to change your pessimistic view of things and distinguish between imagination and facts in order to get rid of anxiety and depression and maintain a good emotional state, which makes your mood more comfortable and is also more beneficial to the growth of the fetus. You can put your attention on some pleasant things, do things that can make you feel happy, and communicate more with your family members so that they can give you more understanding, support and companionship. ****** You are worried that your child's is malformed because of certain medicines. This worry is a mother's instinctive protection of her child and adds to your pessimism and anxiety. During the pregnancy you had enough tests according to the procedure (by the way, ultrasound will not do any harm to the fetus), at least for the time being the doctor has not found any abnormality in the fetus yet either, and did not say anything bad to you, which means that with a high probability there is no problem with the fetus, and its development is normal. With a small probability of a negative event on one side and a large probability of a positive event on the other, which side would you like to believe? Which side will be more beneficial to your emotions and the development of the fetus? You are now 32 weeks pregnant, the development of the fetus is basically molded and ready for delivery, it is useless to worry at this time, it is just worrying for nothing, it will only make you feel disturbed and annoyed. And to take a step back, even in the unlikely event that the development of the fetus is not normal, at this time it is very difficult for you to do anything more to change, and it is also impossible not to ta, which is also a great harm to your own body, and in the end, it is also necessary to follow the medical procedures to produce down. Although the fetus is unable to move or communicate in the mother's womb, the TA has its own vitality and will respond to its environment with many self-protective reactions to ensure its own growth. So, at this time, please let go of your pessimistic worries and believe in medicine, yourself and your child. Welcome your child with optimism and positive positive emotions! I wish you all the best~~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "~ want to give you a warm hug ~ can understand your feelings ~ pregnant easily mood swings or depressed, this is not good for the mother and the baby oh. Maybe you can talk to your husband and family about your anxiety. Don't keep it to yourself and worry about it, it can be a vicious cycle. Maybe you need to ask your doctor about this concern. Your doctor will be able to help you answer your concerns from an authoritative medical point of view. Usually, you can ask your family to go out for a walk with you and listen to music at home to relax.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 9,
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           },
           {
            "start": 47,
            "end": 67,
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           },
           {
            "start": 67,
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           },
           {
            "start": 90,
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           },
           {
            "start": 106,
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           },
           {
            "start": 129,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description you can see that you are a bit of thinking compulsive tendency, plus you are in the pregnancy, all aspects of emotional anxiety will be aggravated, thinking compulsive all you can do is not to entangle with the thoughts, never do not entangle with him, you can try to accept it, do not eliminate, just see it can be, which is also aware of! Your current situation also need to learn to meditate, you can go to meditation, so that your mind first quiet down!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5637
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it possible that I shouldn't have dreams and just go along with what my parents want?",
        "description": "I want to choose the path of art exam, my parents do not support me. They think it's too expensive and would rather let me go to a college than go that route. They also said that my dream is just a daydream, why don't I learn a skill? Do they not treat me as their son, or do they not know what I am thinking at all?",
        "keywords": "Family, Parental Communication, Growing Up",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello ah, to give you a warm hug ~ you and your parents big difference is that the parents are more inclined to reality, perhaps they think you can see more intuitively the future of the road, but also take into account the reality of the economic problems, so you think you are not suitable for the road to the arts exams, and also opposed to your choice. But your dream is to get the realization through the art examination. But the study of art requires a long foundation, before you choose to take the road of art examination, perhaps you should consider whether you have the foundation, whether you have a lasting passion for art and so on. My friends who have studied art will talk about the analogy of \"spending money like a waterfall\", art learning does require more financial investment, if your family can't afford heavy tuition, maybe you need to consider the reality of your situation and then plan. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18837
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I fear that people won't agree with me? Vulnerability or childhood trauma?",
        "description": "I don't know if it's because of depression or weakness in my heart, but I actually want to make friends very much, but for example, if I say I'm going to play basketball today and someone else says no, I'll feel as if I'm being rejected, and I seem to think that a good friend should satisfy me, or else I'll feel that I'm not a friend and will be disappointed, so I have no other choice but to be alone, but I still like to make friends. What kind of mentality is this? Is it too fragile, or is it childhood trauma showing? If so, how can I fix it? Or, what kind of mentality am I? For example, if I go to borrow a basketball and it's not lent, I feel frustrated that I don't want to go out with that person. I feel like a friend who won't even lend me a basketball? Another example is, I said I would pick up a delivery for me, and if I don't want to, I feel disappointed. I'm just disappointed, not self-centered, because I'm disappointed, accompanied by a bit of a downer. For example, I feel emotionally low when your phone lets me share a bit of traffic, all unwillingly. Why is this?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Stress, Suspicion, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner~ I. Analyze why you are afraid of rejection? Some people associate the experience of rejection with their identity. The experience of being rejected makes them feel that the other person has discovered some very undesirable trait in them, some \"hidden flaw\". We feel denied and unaccepted, stimulating an inner sense of worthlessness as well as loneliness, which in turn generates an aggression of shame and anger, an energy that either attacks others or turns on itself. Secondly, a part of the ideal self of the counterpart collapses as a result, and from this is born the fear of loss of self and self uncertainty. Fear of rejection: There must have been too much \"you are not allowed\" in the child's past experiences and interpersonal environment. If parents often reject children's expressed needs, do not give candy, do not give play, do not give hugs, do not give comfort, but the children themselves will gradually become sensitive to rejection, and naturally form a psychological expectation: to seek acceptance and support from important people, I am likely to be rejected. So they begin to learn how to avoid rejection. But even as adults, they remain anxious whenever they have to express their needs or be vulnerable. Before the other person even opens their mouth to reply, they are already in the anxiety of being rejected. Second, some small suggestions 01 Learn to lower the success acceptance expectations Most people possess high expectations for their performance. There is not a single person in the world who succeeds without facing failure and rejection. Being rejected is not terrible, the fear is how you look at it, if the beginning of the lower expectations of the success of the acceptance, prepare for the worst, then even if they are rejected is nothing. 02 active experience \"rejection\" this \"self-mutilation\" method is fast and effective, and in the process, may be the most important thing to do. Effective, in the process, you may be a lot of unexpected beautiful moments: when you with a \"begging to be rejected\" heart, put forward some incredible requests, but by the lovely people unexpectedly accepted and satisfied, the world suddenly became gentle. It turns out that \"rejection\" is just a random event in life, and most of the rejection is just for something that doesn't meet the other person's expectations, not a total rejection of our whole person or relationship, so good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, I understand what you are struggling with. It's always frustrating to face people's rejection to you nowadays, for example, you invite someone to play basketball with you and you get disappointed when they say no. I share my understanding with you and hope it will inspire you. Change your perception and reconceptualize the world. There will always be a rejection when we express our needs, no one can fully satisfy us because we are not the center of the world. This is the reality. When we are able to face reality, we feel much better inside. Who hasn't been rejected before? What you are facing now is still relatively easy to accept, but there is still a possibility that you will face rejection in the future that will be more challenging for us. Have you thought about it: how do you define a friend? Do you think a friend has to fulfill you? Have you never refused a friend when they made a request of you? You can think back on all these. Sometimes we may understand, but we still feel uncomfortable, and when faced with rejection, we may think deep down: are we not good enough? Or we may feel unloved. Mr. Cong Fei from the teacher said: when you feel that you are not good enough, this is first of all a kind of narcissism, everything is always related to yourself. Think about why you're losing it. Do you fully accept yourself? We all need to look inward and grow. I used to be like you, always expecting that people never rejected me, that everyone should accept me and fulfill me. Once I expressed expectations, I had to be fulfilled or I would feel hurt. Then I realized through reading books where that was true! The reason why I was depressed was because I always thought that people should fulfill me. But the reality is that I can have expectations, but others can have their choices, even if they are my friends. And it's only things that I offer or need help with that they reject, not me as a person. I was instantly more comfortable inside. No one is obligated to have to fulfill me. Some rejections may have nothing to do with you at all, they're just having a bad day or something and you're right in the middle of it, so when you think of it that way, do you still feel bad about those rejections? On the other hand, all relationships can be treated as a partnership. What's really important is \"mutual fulfillment and getting what you want\". That's how it is with friends. Sometimes I satisfy you, sometimes I don't, it doesn't mean you're bad or I'm bad, sometimes I compromise, sometimes you compromise, always think of the relationship as a cooperative one. When we look at it with a cooperative mindset, we gain an important perspective in dealing with relationships. I also try to think about how I can fulfill the needs of others. When we often fulfill others, they often come to fulfill us. Would you like to try that? Interacting with people is something we need to keep learning, and building rapport is learned, so let's take our time and figure it out. Blessings to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject thank you for your question There is a theory that all of a person's external relationships are really a reflection of the relationship between the TA and their parents and family. I wonder what kind of relationship you had with your parents and family when you were growing up? Especially those who are particularly close to the family, for example, some children are brought up by grandparents. \ud83e\udd5eThe questioner, we love when you are sitting in a tea room or a milk tea store on a sunny day, anyway, it is a place where you can relax. Let's talk about it. Have you ever been in such a state before, when you were a child? Have you ever felt that your needs were not being met or that you were being neglected? Or did you feel that your needs were met whenever you needed them, even if some of them were completely unnecessary and even a bit manipulative? Which of these situations do you prefer? \ud83e\udd59 The questioner, you see, seems to be in either case. It would be almost impossible for anyone outside of the family to do to you, to replicate what someone close to you as a child did. Isn't it? So yeah, the fact that you feel this way is not a bad thing, it means you are growing up. You are slowly recognizing the changes and knowing that some things are not the way they used to be. Growing up can be uncomfortable and even hurtful. All normal. You are growing up. Really growing up, mentally recognizing people and things from a different perspective than before. Congrats \ud83e\udd53 Why the fear? Because it's a form of attention seeking I guess realizing that you're not getting the attention you hoped for, and as a baby it pretty much means less food, less clothing, not being well taken care of, and jeopardizing survival. Because babies are fragile. So yeah, it's disturbing, very disturbing. However, the subject is not a baby anymore, so I believe the subject is perfectly capable of adapting to the change in environment with proper adjustments. \ud83e\udd58The subject, friends, not to say with ta have crossed paths, nodding acquaintance, add a weibo, net chat a bit, etc. can be said to be friends. In fact, friendship needs to be tested. Otherwise it's just someone you know at best. So it is possible that some people are not your friends at all, and you think they are your friends. Since they are not friends, it is normal for them to reject your request. As for why they reject your request, there may be all sorts of reasons. It doesn't mean that you are really bad and not worth socializing with. Of course, it may not always be that people don't like you. It is likely that there is a communication problem. Including communication between you and yourself. That's why it's so smart to come here and ask for help. Think about how you communicate with your family. Have you found similar situations? The subject, you see, do not you think. It's not so scary anymore. It's a process of growth. Including the process of recognizing oneself. So, take your time, don't rush to deny yourself, don't rush to deny ta people. Take your time to sort it out. Go for it, world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 3186
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it normal for a 35 year old middle-aged man to have childish demeanor?",
        "description": "He was my favorite person, and would often do things that only kids do, like sniffling, especially when he was in a smug mood. Would whisper close to someone's ear and get all mysterious. When he has a stuffy nose, he will snort very loudly, etc. He is usually more introverted and less willing to express his true inner thoughts and feelings. He is more considerate of the feelings of others, but he is a bit short-tempered with his close ones, and he is not willing to listen to his relatives, to whom he often says, \"Don't worry about me\". If he fails to do something, he will analyze it afterwards, which is the other side of which which problems lead to. If you want to blame him, he will be especially innocent, because he really thinks that it's not his problem, it's because the other person didn't cooperate with him that it happened. (Even if it's his problem) Never actively addresses problems when they come up, but lets things run their course as they see fit. He is the youngest son in the family, and also the most favored one. He dropped out of high school and started to mix with the society, earned some money, and in his middle age, his career has become successful. Although he often entertains in and out of all kinds of dinners, he still behaves like a virgin, and blushes easily. Anyway, he is 35 years old, except for some childish actions, it feels as if he is 15 years old, I am obviously younger than him, but he always wants to rely on me? I don't feel like I can carry ......",
        "keywords": "Growth, character refinement, personality traits",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, understand your problem, give you hugs for liking someone who is 35 years old, but always has very childish actions and behaviors, feels like 15 years old, you are obviously younger than him, but he is very dependent on you. It feels like he has a little bit of ego, to other people's advice, can not listen to, do not like to find the reason from themselves. He goes in and out of all kinds of dinners, deals with all kinds of people, has been roaming around society for years and still blushes a lot, like a little virgin. Would he be this naive with everyone? In fact, everyone will inadvertently expose themselves to some small fetishes, some small actions, may be harmless, but in the eyes of some people is just a little difficult to accept, in fact, this is all normal. Does he do those childish antics in front of you a lot, or does she treat everyone he interacts with the same? I'm guessing that the subject is that special \"she\"! From the description in the question and the answer, I think that the person you like is actually dependent on you, because his family is not as happy as the questioner sees it, and he may have suffered some serious things in his childhood. But now he is willing to remove his armor in front of you, willing to show the softest side to you. In fact, this is not one of those quirks or childish little actions of his, he is like a Shar-Pei dog that has been raised for a long time, he likes to pamper you, likes to be with you, that's all. He has a bit of self-righteousness, you do not like in fact, who will not like self-righteousness of the people it, but because you like the one that he is in the family environment, let him have such a number of handling style is also reasonable. He is the youngest son of the family, very favored, and early drop out of school out of social mixing, to reach such a position today, in fact, the heart will naturally have a sense of superiority, so he feels that what he does is always right, is that other people did not cooperate with him. This situation should not be a kind of childish, but a kind of a little arrogant or can not recognize the whole problem, in fact, than to be entangled in whether to continue to like him, I think the subject can give him a calm analysis of the whole thing, there is no need to put forward any suggestions to him, just express your views on this matter. Why did you like him then? And why are you struggling with whether or not to keep liking him now? Like this kind of sentiment, I always do not think that human beings can control by their own strength, when you like him or now you still like him, that he must have attracted your point. But because in the process of getting along, you found these faults of his, you found that when you first met those flaws, all the flaws are magnified, so you are torn I want to continue and he went on? But you still like him ah, you can try to persuade him to make some changes, try to put your point of view to him to listen to, tell him what kind of situation makes you feel uncomfortable, or you think that he did in which case there is a loss of proportion. If he really flat out doesn't listen to you, or if your three views are indeed very different, I think at this point you shouldn't be obsessing about whether you like him or not, you might be questioning, why do I like him? I do not know the subject is in a what age, but you like him 35 years old, if the friendship between you think you can continue to grind, or that your tacit understanding has reached a certain level, can be mutually tolerant, mutual forbearance, is able to carry each other down, then do not get entangled in the like or not like or to break up, on each other to work hard to make progress together, together to try to go on! That's the most important thing. Good luck ah dear ~ \ufe0f \ufe0f \ufe0f \ufe0f (to answer this question, remembered many years ago a boy, in front of outsiders show very strong and cold, but in front of the beloved one is always very childish, which in fact, there is a little bit of contrast Meng it).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner. According to your description, it feels like this man you like is like a child and understands you very well. There is a saying that everyone has a child living in his heart. The difference is who he is willing to show it in front of. The reason why he behaves like a child is because: he is the youngest in the family, the most favored one. Being more pampered in his family of origin and being used to a childlike way of presenting himself is the way his family influences and habits are formed. He's very fond of you. No matter how strong the person, always willing to show his favorite people in front of the child's appearance, frank heart soft corner. You like him a lot. Since you care about him, you pay a lot of attention to him. It's only then that you realize these childlike parts of this man. If you feel that you can't bring it up, you need to: communicate with him more and say what you think. Bring him to grow together. Consciously cultivate his sense of responsibility and sense of responsibility, let go of some things to let him do. More praise, but there are problems, but also to let him the first time to think of ways to solve, do not always shirk the responsibility. I hope it works, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Even the most mature person will have a child's side inside, because many people will have a child living inside. The other side of some of the experience caused him today's trouble, because the small time is left behind children, so in dealing with many problems need to be independent to complete, resulting in their own a little bit withdrawn, especially other children and family members in a piece of happy, that feeling really can not be described in words, resulting in although the parents later returned to the side, but the inner layer of the inner wall has not been eroded. And because the other is the youngest child in the family, so the family are more spoiled him, which makes the other character is more unrestrained, in many things will not listen to the advice of others, so in the case of problems, the first reaction is to escape rather than face, especially when others pointed out, the other side will be through a variety of excuses to shrug off their own reasons, although there are times will also reflect on, but very little to truly They will sometimes reflect, but seldom really face up to their own problems. If a person does not realize their own problems, and is not willing to correct, then we say more will only make the other side more resistant, and like a person must try to tolerate his shortcomings, so we have to think clearly: change others or let yourself adapt, which is easier to do, we should have an inner preparation. A person can only grow after really experiencing something, and changing a person is not as easy as imagined, so we need to know which shortcomings are unacceptable to us and which ones we want the other person to change, and then find a chance to talk about each other's future and see if there is a better solution? The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello lovely subject. A man is a teenager until he dies. I think my grandpa and my dad are childish sometimes. Because he is your favorite person, so you will care about his every move, discretion this and that is normal, afraid that you choose the wrong person. Your description is also very detailed, I can see that you want people to help you judge whether this is a really childish person or not. We are in the contact stage, harbor a little suspicion, is good, but as long as the big put small, as long as the man's character is over the line, it can be. Like sniffling, it may be a habit that has been developed over time, some people will also touch their chin, suck their fingers and so on, it looks quite childish. To determine whether someone is childish or not, you have to observe his mannerisms, his thoughts, his outlook. Ask him for advice and see if he has the ability to help you out quickly; ask him what he thinks about something and see what his opinions and patterns are. To close people grumpy, that this person is not too emotionally stable Oh, not too good for others to consider, this is not good, but not involved in character issues, depending on how the subject matter of the trade-offs. He will go to reflect after the failure, reflect after the subject do not go to accuse him, because no one likes to be accused, everyone will face accusations will be defended. The fact that he blushes easily is a result of his personality. Like to rely on the subject, is he like you, trust you in the performance, it is said that men only in front of their favorite people will show their childish side. People have a need for self-expression. The fact that this man is willing to expose so much in front of you shows that he feels you are someone he can trust. It's okay for us to accept him and appease him.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "He is willing to talk to you so much, willing to expose his weakness in front of you, and his childish side. His past, his not easy, not as good as expected, the family is not good ...... but he is still the one who has been mixed with society, successful him, will not degenerate to no reason. He told you unreservedly, in addition to think you simple, no bad thoughts, you deserve him so, he is bound to you. There should also be:1. probably found that you sympathize with the weak, I believe that he told his own story, should be able to move you, not blood, to win you over, and from then on you take yourself as a Madonna, in order to save him, die to give him love.2. he is very, very smart, which little girl snooze, gold, upwardly mobile, successful, innocent, cute, story, full of charm of the man? He should have seen a lot of women and know what kind of man is a woman's \"killer\"! You didn't immediately fall head over heels, is really a rare girl, no wonder he is willing to spend effort for you.3. If you don't have background background, just an ordinary girl, I really don't know why he has to go to such great lengths? Even if he marries a wife who is a good match or helpful to him, there is no need to tell her these things. If the story is not false, he should really take you as his \"soulmate\" or \"mother of God\", hoping to make up for his lack of motherly love with you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "A person's mental maturity has nothing to do with his actual age and everything to do with the environment he spends time in. As you said, he is the youngest son in the family, so his parents and siblings are very pampered, which is why he is reluctant to take on responsibilities, and also looking for a partner who can pamper him like his mom, repeating the familiar patterns from his childhood.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You say he's not willing to express his true inner thoughts and feelings, right? Is it that he doesn't want to express himself or that he doesn't know how to express himself? When he says, \"Leave me alone,\" does he express his emotions? A high school dropout, social mixing, can still earn some money, often socializing behind, I guess he must have paid a lot of hard, but also learned to hide their emotions, only in front of close people can put down that camouflage coat. A man who was subjected to a lot of less-than-ideal, hurt feelings, returned to the close ones and once again found the security and dependence he had as a child. I would be curious as to why you would ask if this is normal? Instead of asking what to do? Is normal, not normal, important to you, or is it a little more important to you now that you like it, don't like it? If it's the former, you can put all the responsibility for fixing the problem on the other person, if it's the latter, you're bravely taking on the mindset of being responsible for yourself. Your relationship is moving in a positive direction.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 13323
       },
       {
        "question": "How do I decide between Japanese and fitness?",
        "description": "I'll try to be as detailed as possible with my thoughts First of all, I'm a working waitress who doesn't make a particularly good salary, works an eight-hour shift with a three-hour break for lunch, gets off at 9pm, and gets to work at 10am with a 15-minute commute. I'm still studying Japanese every day, and have hired a Japanese teacher who is now giving me an hour of class every day at noon (sometimes after 9 p.m.), as well as assigning about an hour or so of homework, and taking classes five days a week for fitness, which I haven't started yet, but, since I'm rather small and thin, I'd very much like to go to the gym but, at least, work out for two hours a day, so there's a bit of a conflict with studying Japanese, in terms of not thinking about money. So I hope you all can give me advice. Thank you all!",
        "keywords": "Growth, work-study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah, are the owner currently want to do, and do a good job, that's why the owner will go torn how to choose. Can be seen, the owner is a person with planning, will not be like some people a passionate, out of the blue to do, but it is difficult to good end. For the owner of the description, to give you the following suggestions ha, I hope to help you. 1, fish and bear's paw can be both Japanese and fitness is actually just a conflict in the schedule, but these two things are not opposites, not contradictory. As long as the reasonable arrangement of time, you can do both. \ufe0f First of all, what I want to tell you is that you have to be clear about how much you like Japanese and fitness, and whether you are willing to put in the effort and money for it for a long time. If you are willing to do that, then we'll move on from there. \ufe0f Fitness is only about wanting to, not about not having enough time. Where does the idea of working out for at least two hours a day come from? The truth is that if you're simply working out to get fitter, you can get some results by working out for half an hour a day. At least it will be more useful and productive than if you did nothing at all. You can start by exercising for half an hour a day and then slowly adjust it to your own pace. In fact, you'll find that time is really like water in a sponge, there's always something to squeeze. \ufe0f Japanese study schedule owners can discuss with the Japanese teacher to see if you can schedule a class once every two days, so you can work out one day and learn Japanese on the other day is also a good way. A lot of the time, things have their solutions and nothing is really going to trap us so that we can't really do anything. So whether the owner has two or three to-do lists, it's actually possible to carry them out and synchronize them, as long as you follow your heart, schedule your time well, and pace yourself well. Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
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          "answer_text": "Hello. If: you have to choose between the two, it is recommended to stick to the Japanese language you have started and drop the fitness you have not started. If: it's going to be both. First of all, from a medical point of view, I don't recommend that you force yourself to practice for a full 2 hours a day right at the beginning, because suddenly exercising is too intense, not to mention that your muscles and internal organs will not be able to handle it. And suddenly exercising with too much intensity will also weaken your determination to keep exercising. Therefore, to exercise scientifically, at first low intensity, low frequency, step by step. For example, if you exercise for 15 minutes twice a week, there will not be a big conflict between the time you spend exercising and the time you spend studying Japanese. In addition, if there is a listening component in Japanese, you can synchronize it with exercise, thus killing two birds with one stone. Exercise is also effective in enhancing the concentration and memory of the human brain. Organize your time wisely and work on it.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 97,
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            "start": 243,
            "end": 253,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear subject hello ah ~ can feel you are a small cutie on their own requirements it, super excellent, but because of the study and fitness seems to have a conflict between you a little bit of distress, to give you a warm hug. According to the subject's working hours and commuting time, in fact, you have quite a lot of free time, as long as you do a good job of time planning, it should not be a big conflict. I can sense that you really want to balance fitness and Japanese language study, and a firm goal is the first step towards success. Is it your goal to work out at least two hours a day, or is it a suggestion from your fitness instructor? Have you thought about what you want to achieve by working out? In fact, do not consider the case of money, it is recommended that you find a reliable gym to a reliable personal trainer, your fitness goals as well as free time to tell him, the private sector will be based on your specific situation and requirements to arrange fitness programs. Fitness and learning, are a gradual process, according to their own physical state to gradually increase the intensity of the good, the beginning does not need to be too hard it, so as not to affect the subsequent confidence. As for the Japanese language learning, in addition to the class time is fixed once a day for an hour of the whole period of time, I wonder if the assignments can be subdivided into several modules, and then use the fragmented time to complete it? As well as the two days of the weekend can also be summarized again to review the content of a whole week's study, consolidate the knowledge points. The fitness content can also be discussed with the personal trainer in the weekend slightly more arrangements, so that the amount of workouts in a week is enough. The road to getting better may encounter large and small obstacles, do not panic, as long as we step by step steadily forward, we will certainly get closer and closer to their goals, to become what you want to become. When you look back one day, you will realize that although it is not easy to grow along the way, you have already completed the metamorphosis. Good luck, the world and I love you~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject: It sounds like you're very good and hardworking, and you never stop learning, which is a great state of affairs. Secondly, let's take a look at your question about how to choose between Japanese and fitness. It's true that you have a busy schedule, so it seems like it's hard to fit it in, but if you look at it carefully, there's room for you. For example, you can talk to your Japanese teacher and try to work out your week's class times in advance (if you can), so that if you have Japanese at lunchtime, you work out in the evening, and if you have a Japanese class in the evening, you work out at lunchtime. Fitness can be interpreted in many ways, for example, if you have enough time, you can get a card and go to the gym to practice with machines; if you don't have enough time, you can go downstairs to move your muscles or jog for a quarter of an hour or jump rope for 100, or even do push-ups and practice yoga before going to bed at home, all of them are very good ways of exercising. ...... In a word, you don't have to ask yourself to go to the gym. yourself to go to the gym, in which case the program is a little easier to accomplish. If the Japanese teacher's time is not scheduled in advance, the fitness can be more flexible, refer to the above arrangements, flexible interspersed on the line. In short, Japanese language needs to be learned systematically, really can't be left behind, fitness, if you do it, just do it on a need-to-know basis, what do you think? I wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ah, first give you a big hug ~ Let's first look at your problem: not enough time, want to learn fitness and Japanese conflict, do not know how to choose Why is it difficult to choose? Because the options we choose are in our favor, which leads us to put neither this nor that, so we are torn, as the owner of the Japanese language and fitness. So how do we choose? Trace the root cause, restore the goal in the face of their own difficult to choose things, we have to go through the options themselves to restore the goal of the owner can think carefully, they learn Japanese, fitness is for what to stay free time, they can really stick to it and so on. Separation of priorities, the use of fragmented time our time and energy are limited, we need to learn to prioritize things, balance the relationship between necessity and hobbies. I do not know whether the owner to learn Japanese is a necessity or a hobby, but the owner wants to work out because he wants to change his thin body, which is probably considered a hobby. The owner can think about what would be more beneficial to the owner's life and improve his or her standard of living. It doesn't mean that the other kind doesn't do it, but it is appropriate to reduce the things that do the other kind of things. For example, if the owner thinks that learning Japanese is more helpful, then keep the time for learning Japanese the same, reduce the time for working out to one hour a day and then work out more on the weekends, and so on. And there are many ways to fitness, the owner can do some fitness small exercise in the work, study gap, make good use of these gaps in the fragmented time. If the owner really can not squeeze time, you can also choose to do a certain first, and so have a certain foundation, and then go to do another thing, so that time will also be much more abundant. The above only represents my personal opinion, I hope it can help you. Good luck ~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5784
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I give up my quest for absolute security and allow myself to focus on my work in the midst of risk?",
        "description": "I used to live a happy life, think the world is a beautiful place, and be motivated at work. However, the first two years of my life I got carried away and then I made the mistake of having commercial sex several times. Afterwards, I was afraid of AIDS, but after taking several negative tests, I was less afraid of it, but then the new epidemic made me work from home, so I had more time to learn about AIDS. As a result, I learned that it can be transmitted through wounds, although the chances are small but still theoretically possible! Now I'm getting more and more afraid to go to public places as long as I have wounds on my hands. I don't mind if I get infected myself, but what worries me the most is that if I get infected and pass it on to my children, their lives will be over! Now I can not work, a ready to work, there will be a voice in my head to remind me to confirm that recently there are no wounds on the hands ah have not touched public facilities ah will not be infected ah infected how to do ah. I reflected, I may want to absolute security, but the world should not be absolute security. Help: How to give up absolute security, so that you can be in the risk can also focus on work?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, therapies, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, it is a pleasure to meet you and help you. Text message, you can perceive your inner apprehension, according to you, in the midst of life's good times, deviated from the direction of life, the occurrence of paid sex, you regret, awakened, worried about infectious diseases, fear of AIDS, afraid of infecting family members, although after the examination to rule out infection, but still did not dispel your inner concerns. This state of fear and anxiety has shown signs of expansion and extension, which is psychologically called generalization, and has caused interference in your normal life, affecting the quality of life. No one is without faults. If you can change your faults, there is no greater good! Things have happened and time cannot be turned back by our will and give ourselves a chance to start over. In that case, it may be worthwhile to unload the heart of the concerns, put down the past, based on the present, with a positive and optimistic mindset, to face the seemingly full of variables of life. Tend to avoid harm, is the human instinct, fear of disease, is the individual's health consciousness. We are afraid of the darkness and long for the light to shine on earth. We fear the cold and look forward to the warmth of the sun. We are afraid of danger and dream of a lifetime of safety. After experiencing the danger, the safety instinct is touched, self-protection awareness also came into being, to say a few words about the current state of mind, is a very normal psychological phenomenon, which need to maintain a normal heart to look at. He is strong by his strong, the wind whisks the hillock; he is horizontal by his horizontal, the bright moon shines on the river. Even though the external world is ever-changing, as long as our hearts are calm and firm, then our whole physical and mental world is full of energy. Returning to life itself, safety is only a relative concept, the sky has unpredictable winds and clouds, people have every day and every hour of the day is a vivid portrayal of this relativity. However, whether you are in a safe state or a dangerous situation, maintaining inner stability is a crucial psychological quality. Since there is no guarantee of absolute safety, with your own apprehension, go with the flow of life, do what you like, cherish the people in front of you, and fight for your family and career, which is also the beauty presented in life. Establish a positive mindset, develop a healthy lifestyle, pay more attention to positive people and things in life, slowly, your own heart will become strong. Our life will face a variety of temptations, and the selfishness and greed of the human heart, when we become confused, they will take advantage of the situation, in the good treatment of their own at the same time, but also have to be vigilant, the house deviated from the track of life. I hope this can bring you some enlightenment, I wish you health and happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello, see this question feel quite heartbreaking, hug you, I hope to bring you some warmth and comfort. [Sorting feedback] First of all, sort out the problems I see, you see if it is right. 1, the subject, gender unknown, age unknown. 2, before the work of enterprising, life is good. 3, the time of forgetfulness, commercial sex, when the fear of AIDS, a number of times the test is negative, feel better. 4, during the epidemic, there is more free time, more AIDS have a better understanding of the. 5, now You have become more and more afraid, more afraid of infecting your children. 6, you guess that your current state is because you want absolute security, but you also know that absolute security does not exist. 7, you want to find a solution to the current problems. [Understanding and Analysis] Let's talk about my understanding and analysis. First, after the commercial sex behavior, many times the test is negative, this test result is enough to show that you are not a problem, but your heart is still not sure that you are no problem. Why is this? On the contrary, if you can be sure that you are absolutely no problem, what will happen? In other words, you have done something bad, but you have not received any punishment, is this reasonable? Secondly, because of the epidemic, fear, which was not too much, became much more. My understanding is that the epidemic gave you more time with yourself, and the [superego] was activated. Freud divided the personality structure into three levels: the ego, the self, and the superego. The ego is the energy system made up of innate instincts, desires, and includes various physiological needs. The ego is located in the middle level of the personality structure, which regulates the ego on the one hand and is subject to the superego on the other, following the principle of reality. The superego is internalized by social norms, ethics, morals, and values and seeks perfection. That is, internalized social norms, ethics and morals that do not allow you to do what is inappropriate without being punished. So, the fear now is a punishment for your own behavior. , and you think it's because you're seeking absolute security. At the conscious level we all know that absolute security doesn't exist and is impossible to have, but yet you're still pursuing it, which means that you're pursuing something that you're never going to get, which means that you're bound to fail at what you're doing. To put it simply, it is the subconscious mind that you are pursuing failure, you are pursuing discomfort. We are not aware of the subconscious mind, but the ways in which it influences conscious experience are fundamental-how we see ourselves and others, how we perceive the meaning of the daily activities of our lives, our ability to make snap judgments and decisions about life and death, and the actions we take in our instinctive experience. The work accomplished by the subconscious mind is an integral part of human survival and evolution. It includes primitive instincts, impulses, childhood mental imprints, environmental influences, perceptions, personality and a host of other factors. [Methods suggested] to give you a few small suggestions: First, it is recommended to find a counselor to talk about, I feel that it is still easier to repair with the help of a counselor, of course, if you are not ready, do not force yourself. Second, you can do meditation, the meditation planet has a lot of resources, whether paid or free, are quite good, you can try. Third, you can keep a journal, it helps to clarify your thoughts. Fourth, you can imagine what you would want to say to yourself if you were the fear itself. I hope my answer helps, and I wish all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, you're in this state where I know it's okay and I shouldn't think about it that way, but I can't help but think about it and the more I think about it, the more I panic, and then it affects my work. --In this case, it's easy to fall into \"I know, but I just can't do it!\" Here, I'll tell you, [You're fine the way you are] Many of us have had the experience of going out and suddenly worrying about whether or not we've closed the doors and windows, or whether or not we've turned off the gas or the electrics, etc., and then worrying all the time if we don't go back to make sure. --While it may seem a bit unnecessary, think of it another way: it's just our psyche protecting itself. It's the self-protection that's imprinted on our genes Your situation can also be considered from this perspective \u2192 for example, because of the fear of AIDS, you won't engage in dangerous and immoral sexual behaviors, and therefore won't hurt yourself and your family anymore. For example, you will take care to protect yourself from getting hurt in public and will be aware of your safety. For example, you will pay more attention to hygiene, and you will teach your children to protect themselves better. ...... [When we can't let go of our fears for a while, it's better to utilize our fears and move forward with them] - We all laugh at \"worrying about nothing\"! \"But it is precisely because of the \"fear of disease and death\" that medical advances have been made. It's okay to be afraid of anxiety, and it's okay to pursue the so-called \"absolute security\" - at this point the subject may feel that I've already affected my work, so how can it be okay? --When a person is in denial, it will be easier to focus] - [ball shooting effect] \u2192 the more you deny your own fear, you put the focus on the fear of things above the focus will be more focused, like shooting a ball, keep focusing is to keep shooting, the ball is not going to stop. The ball won't stop. And, sometimes it does take time to help yourself calm down. --Generally speaking, the probability behind the fear of AIDS is due to guilt, and from the subject's words \"I don't care about myself, but what if I pass it on to my children\", it can be seen that the subject is responsible for her family and has her own moral requirements. The person who is responsible for his family and has his own moral requirements can also help to relieve anxiety by starting with the healing of guilt. --Of course, the above is only to provide a transformation of thinking suggestions. If the subject's anxiety is really not eliminated, the best choice is to ask for appropriate psychological intervention, a professional counselor will help you out of the predicament according to your situation. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello my dear. I see the difficulties you are in and I know your worries. But what I want to say is that because there are so many diseases in the world we can never be sure that our lives will be in danger. Your concern is not unreasonable, but my dear, we live in a world where there are unpredictable factors every day. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeking absolute security because we are always on the way to find it ourselves and we work for it. Your question is, \"Should I give up my quest for absolute security and focus on working in the midst of risk.\" I prefer to believe that you actually had an answer in mind when you asked this question, you just needed someone to back it up. The truth is that there are too many unpredictable factors in life to count. We are searching for security from the time we are born, there is no such thing as absolute safety, but I am certain that we can at least create a sense of security for ourselves in this somewhat dangerous world. Take care of your hygiene, take care of your wounds, take care of what you eat, take care of all the bad habits in your life, and don't let yourself be in a worrying mood, as the saying goes, worrying begets sickness, and thinking too much is not always a good thing. Why don't you just relax, take it seriously, protect yourself seriously, put the world in your heart, not as much as put your own protection in your heart. I hope it can help you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Do you want to give up the pursuit of absolute security? Hello to the owner of the building for your situation to express understanding, and heartache want to give you a big hug, you are warmed by the world in fact, I can only answer the owner's question, is that the world does not have the so-called absolute sense of security, anything so-called absolute sense of security is relative, as we are in the new crown of the epidemic did not have a way to China before it seems to be absolutely safe, but in any environment that does not do a good job of prevention, we belong to the kind of exposure, absolute danger wherever possible, but also the most important thing is that we have a good understanding of the situation. But in any environment without proper precautions, we are all part of that exposure, absolute danger wherever it is? Where there are people, where there is survival, there will be risk, no matter what the risk is? We have to be optimistic and positive to face the owner of the problem is now worried about a wound, it will be infected, but also afraid of contact with public facilities, this is too cautious and cautious performance Although this caution is deserved, but the excessive tension and worry will make us unable to live a normal life, for the little 1% chance that may happen to worry about and then rise 99% of the joy, you think! Is it worth it? or that you would rather for this 1% of the danger, but give up 99% of the pleasure it So that the owner of the main thing now is to adjust their own mentality, do not have to think about the past attitude, things happen as soon as they happen after all, when you appeared to be commercial sex behavior, you have not been hit, indicating that in fact, the chances of being hit are very low, but this is not teaching you to continue to be commercial sex behavior, which is in the case of one more chance for you! Reflection to protect yourself, should not continue this way, after all, AIDS this kind of thing you do not know when it will come to you. So only the owner of the usual good personal hygiene and check protection, then a lot of things can be avoided, instead of worrying about the not happened for it to worry about the loss of the present happy wish the subject happy happy \ufe0f.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, the questioner is right in mentioning the abandonment of the pursuit of absolute security, and as you know, there is no absolute security in this world, no way to completely isolate oneself from the outside world. But AIDS is also preventable. For some people who have had unsafe sex, drug abuse and other high-risk behaviors, and have a certain level of literacy, AIDS makes him experience both physical and psychological pressure. On the one hand, high-risk behavior does increase the chance of infection, and at the same time such behavior is immoral. Therefore, they not only suffer from the anxiety of possible infection, but also feel the moral condemnation, shame and guilt. People who are \"AIDS-phobic\" are good at looking for answers on the Internet, and may go to the hospital several times to do the examination, but they still have no knowledge about the prevention and treatment of AIDS, and they exaggerate the contagiousness of AIDS, and they may confuse the symptoms of colds with those of AIDS, and fall into a deep sense of guilt and anxiety. They may confuse some cold symptoms with AIDS symptoms and fall into deep fear. According to the criteria for a true diagnosis of AIDS, all people infected with HIV will be antibody positive. Although current research has found that there is a \"window\" of time for antibody positivity to occur, the possibility of infection can be basically ruled out if no antibody positivity is detected within three months of high-risk behavior, and 100% can be ruled out if the antibody is still negative after six months. \"Despite this, there is still a large number of people who have been living in fear and dread of AIDS after several years of high-risk behavior.\" Shen Jiahong, chief psychologist at Guangzhou Baiyun Psychological Hospital, believes that \"AIDS fear\" requires psychological guidance. Then how to reduce the fear of AIDS in daily life? First, sexual life is well protected. Not only do not promiscuity problem, fixed partner is more likely to let people relax their vigilance, less use or do not use condoms. But statistics show that more than half of the family members of AIDS carriers will be infected, and not all of them have multiple sex partners. Yeah, it's that cruel. Second, refuse multiple sexual partners. Third: don't do drugs, don't sell blood, donate blood, and get blood transfusions from regular blood centers. Fourth, do not reject psychological interventions. The subject mentioned the fear of AIDS manifests itself in a way that does not correspond to reality, affecting normal life and interaction, and it is strongly recommended that the subject can go to seek the help of a professional counselor when necessary to alleviate your anxiety, guilt, and sense of guilt, and to come out of the fear of AIDS together, and return to social functioning. Occasionally positive and progressive counselor, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi Owner According to your description, your symptoms are more like AIDS phobia. You are experiencing anxiety, fear about AIDS. It is this anxiety and fear that makes you feel unsafe in the outside world. In fact, you have been living in the same insecure world, perhaps you should be more curious about what caused you to suddenly start pursuing \"absolute safety\"? I would say that it is very difficult to convince yourself to give up the pursuit of safety without confronting your fear of AIDS. Going back to your symptoms, it is obvious that \"repeated commercial sex\" was the turning point of your status. Before this, your life was positive, sunny and aggressive. After that, you fell into a state of fear, fearing that you would get sick, and even more so, fearing that if you were careless, you would ruin your child's life. Did something special happen during this time? You describe your behavior as \"over the top\" and seem to have reflected on your previous behavior. Perhaps you still have a lot of self-loathing for yourself, and you can't forgive yourself for that mistake. Even though what happened is behind you and you've been tested, your deep-seated fear of AIDS still tells you that you are so close to the devastating virus. Maybe you can imagine how you would feel if disaster really did strike your children because of your misbehavior. Maybe underneath the fear is guilt and remorse that you can hardly bear, or maybe it's something else ...... Only when you get to the root of the fear can it dissolve. Finally, I wish you the best of luck in facing your fears and living a fearless life soon. \ud83e\udd1e.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "ZhanXinJia dear subject hello ah see you bravely talk about the past, I want to praise you, you are very brave in the face of their own past. Also want to give you a big hug, heartache you went through. But it's worth being happy for you. It's great that you stopped your losses and everything is back on track. Seeing your concerns about safety, I can deeply understand what you are worried about, especially with the new crown this year, I too am feeling that it will be unsafe out there, so I have intentionally cut back on socializing as well. Including potlucks I won't be attending. Another thing is because my mother has a bad stomach, and I heard the doctor say that people with stomach problems should never be infected with Helicobacter pylori, so that's one of the reasons I don't want to eat out, I don't want to bring the germs back with me because we don't know which one of us is carrying such a virus in our mouths, plus I've been working more in three different places this year at the New Crown, and I've got a good disinfectant ready to go, and will do the disinfecting work from time to time as well. See you say will also worry about being infected, more worried about being carried by their own infected children, I see your sense of responsibility, you also very much love your little cute it, when it comes to AIDS, when I do not understand also feel very scary, will also be like you to search to check out the information, in our browsing of this information, but also see some particularly serious cases, that kind of panic in our hearts will be overturned, that We will be very afraid of such things happening. However, we look back and think, if on top of what we already know, plus precautionary, away from such places, try to avoid contact with such people, in fact, the probability is still very low, I can feel you have a little bit of anxiety, and then hug you oh. In general, people infected with AIDS also have their circle, you are now far away from the places you have been, and in the home office, it is very difficult to contact, if you feel that going to a public place will be worried about, you can bring a free disinfectant Oh, you can also bring some disinfectant paper towels, you need to hand-held places can be wiped first, if the hand touched the place you feel unclean. You can also disinfect your hands. Speaking of here we can also explore, what is your inner most worry, as you said that time there are tests showed negative, you do not worry so much. If you are still worried, you may want to test again, it is also possible, this confirmation makes you feel secure about yourself and less worried about your child, you may also want to explore what will happen if things go to the worst, maybe it may not be what you feared and imagined. There is also a way to seek support from those close to you as well, no matter what happens, you will have the closest people behind you, to be your backbone. This is also full of security then. I will always be here, to give you a sense of security, accompany you forward. You can also leave me a message! Good luck! The world and I love you ya~\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to you however two years ago life got carried away and then I made the mistake of having commercial sex several times. Fear of AIDS afterward, tested negative several times wasn't too fearful anymore because of the previous wrongdoing that led to the current paranoia. You are too obsessed with your previous mistakes and have allowed yourself to dwell on them without letting yourself go and letting yourself out of them. With mistakes, it is difficult to avoid them in one's life, and the size of the mistake lies in one's decision at that time. But life moves forward, and since the previous mistake didn't result in a very bad outcome, take it as a disciplinary action and try to make yourself composed and think more when things go wrong in the future. But then the New Crown Epidemic gave me more time to learn about AIDS when I worked from home. As a result, I learned that it can be transmitted through wounds, and that although the chances are small it is still theoretically possible! Now I'm getting more and more afraid to go to public places as long as I have wounds on my hands. The phenomenon you mentioned is a problem faced by many people, we live in such a big dystopia, it is impossible to put ourselves in a sterile environment, we can only try to minimize the risk of these aspects. There is no need to get yourself deeply into trouble and not let yourself go. Try to take it easy in the face of this problem and you'll realize it's not as scary as you thought. How do you give up absolute security so that you can focus on your work even in the midst of risk? Let yourself free from the previous mistakes, no longer fall into the worry of the previous mistakes; no one is perfect, the mistake since it happened, as a yardstick for future life, some things are untouchable, the previous mistakes can be said to be a fluke. Worrying about things since it did not happen to spare yourself to make life easier.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 29
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do about the huge difference in thinking with my husband and the huge loneliness in my married life?",
        "description": "I have a big difference in thinking with my husband, and I often argue with him about important and trivial matters. I can cooperate with my husband in daily life, but it is difficult for them to communicate with each other. What can I do if I feel lonely in my marriage?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, what to do when there is a huge sense of loneliness in married life? First of all, we need to understand what loneliness is, is it two people together will not be lonely? According to the psychological definition, loneliness is a subjective and conscious feeling and experience of isolation and alienation from others or society, rather than an objective state. Therefore, there are also people who are surrounded by a group of people and still feel lonely. Loneliness is not on the physical level but on the psychological level. Secondly, why do you feel lonely in marriage? [There is a big difference in thinking between my husband and I. They argue about big and small things from time to time.] This may be the reason, not communicating with each other as frequently and feeling like living in two worlds. We have all kinds of needs in life, and loneliness arises when a certain need is not met, or when expectations are not met. Finally, how to alleviate loneliness? Note the use of alleviate here, no one person can completely remove loneliness, and you can't find two people in the world who are exactly the same. You expect to connect with your husband, but at this stage it is not possible to reach the same frequency. If that's the case, why not try going through the experience of creating something in common together? Pick something that both of you would like to do, such as photography, hiking, traveling and so on. I believe that the more you have something in common, the better your relationship will be and the less time you will have to experience loneliness.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 22,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 22,
            "end": 150,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 150,
            "end": 172,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 172,
            "end": 322,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 322,
            "end": 403,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Unfortunate marriages are each unfortunate in their own way. Probably there are quite a few people like you who feel lonely in their marriages. Everyone wants to find his or her right partner, so a good partner is first a good friend and then a husband or wife. We want to have a close friend in our daily life so that life is not so sad. Even if life is difficult, there is someone to hold hands with. Unfortunately, many people rush into marriage without really knowing each other. Already in the marriage, and for various reasons, can not just leave, so there is a marriage in the lonely. Fortunately, people are social animals, although the marriage can not get comfort, we still have friends, try to find your three or five confidants, from time to time gatherings, can drain the loneliness of your life, can help you solve the puzzle, give you spiritual support. In addition, you can cultivate new hobbies, hobbies in the life, I believe that your days will be more fulfilling and complete. Life is always a variety of bad, many people and you, you are not alone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The initial purpose of marriage is not just to find someone to live with, but to develop an intimate relationship with that person. You want to be able to communicate with your husband not only by taking care of your daily life, but also by communicating with him. You feel a great sense of loneliness because of the big difference in thinking with your husband, and the constant arguments you have with him. The big difference in thoughts may not be the problem, how to see this difference is the problem. If you see only one possibility in everything, and think that you are right and good, and not the same as you are wrong and bad, then there are differences, there are disagreements, and if you are not the same, you will have to argue about what is right and what is wrong. Always want to have their own say, can win the right and wrong, but will lose the relationship. If you can have curiosity about the differences between each other, heart to understand each other, to see why he would think that way, those differences may be some good resources, two people understand each other can take advantage of the strengths and weaknesses, to open up a bigger picture.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! You've described some of your confusion in a few short sentences, which I probably interpreted to mean that it seems like you're a bit helpless in dealing with the conflict between the two parties. Since there is no specific incident, I can only make some guesses. You said that you and your husband have a big difference in thinking and that you have to argue about everything. Then you recall, when you first fell in love and decided to get married, was it the same? What were the things that attracted you to each other? Why is this a problem now, and what exactly happened? It is impossible to have an intimate relationship without conflict. Relationships last longer when we are equipped with how to handle conflict. You say that you and your husband can work together in everyday cooking, so you can actually work together to deal with problems, so think about why you're on the same page in those areas. Find the commonalities and then see the differences. You said that you feel lonely in your marriage, maybe you feel that your husband doesn't understand and respect you as much as you expect, and you feel lost because you don't feel loved by your husband. You can try to express your current feelings with your husband, a non-accusatory expression is enough to let the other side feel your sincerity. Your husband understands your state, and may also say what he thinks. How to run a marriage is not as easy as it seems. How to let yourself and your husband close to each other rather than away, perhaps also we need to go to grow together. I hope this can bring you some small help!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Often argue with the wise, not with fellow travelers. I don't know you and your husband's respective backgrounds and education levels. If a man is also involved in petty disputes, the pattern of vision is not much bigger. Can not change each other, try to improve themselves. There's no need to sweat the small stuff. In the end, it is still a matter of heart and pattern. A good family relationship with each other to appreciate and encourage, the man outside the woman inside. Each is busy. Day by day, what is there to fight about?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8137
       },
       {
        "question": "What do you do when you have bad grades and your parents are trying to get you into a major school?",
        "description": "I am 14 years old, and my parents are trying to get me into a good school. I know it's for my own good, but it's impossible for me to get in with my grades, and I've been in trouble with my parents lately. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Developmental Laws, Work-Based Learning, Student Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, consider the pros and cons of each option and your own study plan for the next few years, so that you can walk confidently on your chosen path. Carefully analyze what you are \"twisted\" about. Do you think that you will not be able to keep up with your grades even if you get into a good school, and that you will not fulfill your parents' expectations? Are you being teased by your classmates that you are a backdoor student? Even if you work very hard, you may still be very different from your classmates, which can dent your confidence and self-esteem? If your parents promise you to get into the school you got into, which may be an average school, based on your own ability and performance, will they blame you for being unintelligent and giving up a good opportunity? When you are in an ordinary school and have a bad time, or because the teaching level and the quality among your classmates differ greatly from that of a key school, resulting in your grades, though top in the school, are still worse than those of the key students, will you regret that you didn't listen to your parents at that time? Weigh these two options, which one is more motivated to meet the future of learning and life, may not be able to predict what will happen in the future, but in your heart there must be a bias in favor of a little choice, and to plan and plan for it, because no matter what the environment, hard work and enterprising are essential. It is good to communicate your choice with your parents and reach a common approach, if not ask them to respect your choice and try to bear the consequences of your choice. You can see that you are more understanding children, can appreciate the pain of parents, their idea may be to make you rather be the tail than the head of the chicken, I hope you can be in a good environment, there is a good platform and learning resources, which is the advantage of the key school, you also know this point. When you think about your decision and have a plan for your study, you must communicate with your parents and let them know what you think, even if your decision will be rejected and denied, but you must express it. Or discuss with your parents that if you are close to an ordinary school by your own efforts, you may need more support and encouragement from them, so that even in an ordinary environment you are still strict with yourself and have ideas about your development, and they are still available to guide you. If your parents' choice is irrevocable, and their decision is still to go to the main school after a lot of communication efforts, let yourself accept it, and be prepared for the possibility of a future study environment that may have greater competitive pressures, ideological burdens, and so on. There are any things and emotions, and parents to seriously talk about, the formation of a good family communication atmosphere, so that no matter where you will feel the love and support of your parents, parents will also be happy for your progress and growth. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19536
       },
       {
        "question": "19 year old female who has always been shy, has low self-esteem and blushes, what can I do about it?",
        "description": "Since childhood I have been a low self-esteem, shy, easy to blush people, afraid of others to notice me, do not dare to speak loudly in public, do not dare to speak in class, do not dare to look at the eyes of the opposite sex, easy to feel embarrassed and ashamed. Especially easy to blush, around someone lost something, obviously not I took I will blush; and the opposite sex stand together, eye contact, will make me ashamed. But I don't reject socializing; I crave it, especially with the opposite sex. Over the past few decades, my socialization with the same age group of the same sex has been pretty good, but the opposite sex has been almost nil, and I would unconsciously avoid interactions with the opposite sex, leading many of them to mistakenly think that I was high maintenance. In my case, it was easier to be around the same sex, easier to socialize between two people alone than with a group of people, easier to socialize with people younger than me, and in those people or scenarios, I spoke in a way that was closer to my true self and felt more relaxed. My blushing problem still hasn't been effectively resolved, I still care a lot about what people think and say about me and unconsciously want to please everyone. Also I feel like I always lack a reason to socialize, this passive socialization seems to hide my desire to socialize, but without this passive opportunity I probably wouldn't have taken that step.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Interpersonal Boundaries, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi Owner: Low self-esteem from childhood has affected you, making you prone to blushing and nervousness in social situations. Inside you desire to socialize, especially with the opposite sex. You are eager to change, but slow to take the first step. Hugs to you, understand your feelings very well. Due to low self-esteem, you tend to blush easily; the more easily you blush, the more your low self-esteem grows. Not in a hurry, the following text hope to help you. 1, face up to their own character and easy to blush characteristics of low self-esteem caused by shyness, blushing, will make us more into the low self-esteem, as if feeling shy, blushing is the wrong thing. In fact, if we look at the problem dialectically, we will find that this is not the case. People who are easily shy are usually sensitive and delicate. And sensitive and delicate character, so that we are more able to experience other people can not experience things, so as to improve interpersonal sensitivity. Shyness, therefore, is not an absolute bad thing. In addition, there are many reasons for blushing, in addition to psychological factors, skin color, changes in the environment, will also easily cause blushing. Maybe, when you are nervous and blush, others will think you are cute. For people who are easy to blush, we tend to be more trusting and willing to get closer in the process of interpersonal communication. Because blushing can also represent a pure heart. So, you see, look at the problem in a different direction, you will find, perhaps let you inferiority complex characteristics, but will be conducive to your interpersonal communication it. 2, enhance self-confidence, the establishment of interpersonal boundaries you mentioned, because of the care of other people's opinion of you, so you unconsciously want to please everyone. But when you please everyone, are you happy? Will the other person like us because of our pleasing? Not really. In fact, in interpersonal interactions, people who are too perfect and too wise tend to discourage others from approaching. Because being perfect gives us a sense of insecurity and inauthenticity. The owner, improve their own self-confidence, to establish their own comfortable interpersonal border, the courage to say \"no\", perhaps in interpersonal communication you will receive unexpected results. When you have the courage to express their own emotions and views, the outside world may be more willing to come into you because of your true. 3, through the behavioral therapy to improve self, to improve the self owner, when you feel tense in the interpersonal communication, you can through the deep breathing relaxation relaxation method. And, you can further reduce your fear feelings through the systematic desensitization method. You mentioned that you are particularly eager to socialize with the opposite sex, but you will unconsciously avoid it, right? In this case, the owner can learn the situation of interacting with the opposite sex by watching videos of young men and women interacting and talking, or listening to audio recordings of conversations between young men and women. In addition, after watching the videos and listening to the recordings, the owner needs to summarize what he or she has seen and heard, such as what to pay attention to in contact with the opposite sex, how to do better, etc. The last thing I would like to say to the owner is that all of us have low self-esteem in some ways more or less. For example, some people feel inferior because the graduation school is not good enough, some people feel inferior because of the body fat and thin, some people feel inferior because of their income origin. The emotion of low self-esteem is a normal emotion because it allows us to make improvements in response to our shortcomings. I'm not quite sure what causes your low self-esteem, but I'm certain that you can overcome it by increasing your confidence through your strengths. When you can face yourself correctly, then you can improve your situation through behavioral therapy. I am sure that if you take the first step, you will get better and better in the future. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Plastering: hello! Your self-description is well-written, both detailed and well-organized. Let me tell you what I understood when I read it. From your description, it seems that you have been shy since childhood and blush easily. You got along well with people of the same sex and those younger than yourself and lacked experience with the opposite sex, which you longed to increase. You find that you care about the evaluations of others and often want to make them happy. You also find that you are passive in your interactions and that interactions require opportunity (reason). Right? You understand yourself well and are able to grasp your psychological comfort zone and do your best to stretch your personality within it. This is important; by respecting your comfort zone, self-confidence will have a foothold; self-confidence may be effectively strengthened by broadening your comfort zone. Now tell us about a personality trait that makes you blush easily. This trait may be the main obstacle that prevents you from interacting with the opposite sex. Shyness -> blushing seems to be a natural reaction that has become inertia. To change this inertia, you need to avoid blushing by relaxing effectively and letting go of tension when you first feel shy. On the one hand, you need to mentally relax the fear that you will blush, and suggest to yourself to relax your emotions by relaxing your body (through deep breathing or some kind of body movement to suggest body relaxation). On the other hand, you can shift your attention to something else, talk about something else (for the time being, let's let the opportunity exist), or indirectly praise the other person or related people, using language to drive attention to people or things other than yourself. This training, not only need to meet people intentionally to carry out, before or in the usual can be imagined to carry out alone, the purpose is to make intentional arrangements for the details can become a habit, and gradually replace the previous see people on the face of the blush of the overwhelmed reaction. It takes a while for new habits to replace old ones, so as you train yourself, encourage yourself by following the improvement to increase your self-confidence. The other obstacle may be what you call caring about external evaluations. Shyness is more or less a nature, shy people tend to be more sensitive, sensitive plus care, and perhaps their own inevitable self-blame, these three factors may be superimposed to make the tension difficult to bear for a while. How to change from caring to not caring? Imagine, when people and dealing with, most of the energy is focused on how to cope with the situation in front of them, even if there is a certain feeling for the other party, often do not care to think about it and to express it appropriately. Other people's comments are often made after the fact, so does the person in the situation need to mind so much? Furthermore, everyone has their own situation, so who cares about how others are doing all the time! Isn't it a bit \"self-indulgent\" to care too much about other people's faces? In the future, if you find that you still can't help caring about other people's faces or comments, just smile and remind yourself not to think too much. This is also a habit that can be overdone, and not only does it add extra psychological pressure, but it also interferes with self-confidence. You're already well aware of how your ego feels and would love to motivate yourself to take more initiative. But give yourself a little more time to slowly make the self-adjustments to realize the expansion of your comfort zone. Be patient, rushing may create too much pressure and instead may cause self-doubt or aggravate sensitivities, which may turn out to be a resistance factor to face when making adjustments.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the subject a hug, shame about relationships, loneliness feels especially understandable! Let me ask you a few questions: What are the character traits of your parents in your family of origin? What kind of influence did your father and mother have on the role of interpersonal relationships in your upbringing? What is the subject's view on \"sex\"? What was your first concept of \"sex\"? From the subject's description, I think the subject is a child who grew up with insecurity, lack of attention, sensitivity and vulnerability, and would feel as if things that are not his or her own are his or her own things, such as other people dropping things! What do you think about when you want to spend time with someone of the opposite sex? What do you think about when you avoid being with the opposite sex? How do you feel? What are you afraid of? Ask yourself these questions the next time you see someone of the opposite sex you want to spend time with. I still care a lot about what others think of me, unconsciously want to please everyone through this self-awareness, we can understand that the subject is not too high sense of self-worth, and lack of understanding of themselves, not better established self-worth system, because they are not seen, so to please! However, there is really no need, because we have grown up, more is to rely on their own value of life, we ourselves is what paragraph, generally will attract what paragraph of people, so it is the longevity of people's relationship is not to please to come! People are group animals, socializing is also a human instinct, if you feel happy to be alone, then you can also enjoy being alone, if you feel the need to socialize then, with family, classmates, friends more like-minded exchanges and exchanges! Suggestions to the subject: First, know yourself, understand yourself, be aware of yourself, accept yourself! Second, love yourself, do not deliberately force yourself to do things you do not like, for example, if they are introverted and do not like to talk, then love their own quiet! Third, establish a self-worth system. Everyone has their own unique value, so we are clear about their own ability and value, what others say is no longer important! Fourth, reading and learning is a shortcut to do these things growth needs process, need to take their time, come on oh, believe you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is still very difficult for a 19-year-old girl to understand herself and describe her lack so clearly. Through your confession, your confusion is still gathered in your own character, in your inner heart, you are not afraid of socializing, even looking forward to socializing, through socializing with people of your own preference, you feel that your social ability is still good, but in your inner heart, again, you are still blushing when encountering things or communicating with specific groups of people or some are not quite at ease and are deeply confused, and very importantly, you have highlighted the point of socializing with the The main point is the interaction with the opposite sex. I'm not sure what you have in mind when you think of personal socialization, which is what we usually call communicating with people. One of the core issues of communication is the transferability of information, and there is no absolute template or standard to refer to in this process, or that there is no one type of communication that is absolutely right or wrong, and one of the key points in communicating with people, I think, is that both parties feel comfortable. In the exchange I think there is no need to create an occasion or atmosphere, and consciously to please others or to find topics to talk about, talk to talk to, talk not to talk is nothing to say, have to force themselves to have something to say, I think it's enough to fight, the key is the heart it is not comfortable, often sometimes also appear, even if you do, but after, you will still feel bad, and even a kind of aggrieved feeling. As for what you talked about not too willing to socialize with the opposite sex, I think this problem is an illusion, that is to say, your external is not willing to socialize with the opposite sex, and in your subconscious is willing to their own life a little faster for you to find the heart of the Prince Charming, you only so in front of the opposite sex to put out a high and cold look, in fact, sometimes just do it to him to see, after that, you will also be the face of their own behavior The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you are doing. This I still suggest that you do not deliberately go against your heart, to be a person with an open heart. As for the blushing problem, I think this is nothing, that is also a kind of beauty, others want to red still red it, this is not a problem, of course, it depends on your own, whether you really can feel: you are you, a world unique you, I do not need to live in someone else's life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Liu Feng's analysis: Besides, I feel like my social interactions always lack a reason. This passive socializing seems to mask my true desire for socializing, but without these passive opportunities, I probably wouldn't take that step. - 1. Socializing itself is a manifestation of equal status between people. There is no one's status higher than anyone else's, nor is there anyone's status lower than anyone else's. Trying to please others is a manifestation of considering oneself inferior, in ancient times only slaves would constantly try to please their masters because the masters were like their parents providing them with clothing and food. Therefore, trying to please is a manifestation of acknowledging someone as a master, implying that one sees oneself as a slave. 2. Socializing is a relationship of equal interaction, but you want to interpret socializing as a relationship between a slave and a master. Firstly, your perception is problematic. Your perception is that pleasing others equals socializing. In fact, socializing is a relationship of equal interaction between people, and there is no issue of one trying to please the other. The fact also proves that using a relationship based on trying to please others doesn't lead to socializing, because others don't need to be pleased, they only need an equal relationship. From childhood to adulthood, I've always been a person with low self-esteem, shyness, and easily blushing. I'm afraid of others noticing me, I dare not speak loudly in public places, I dare not speak up in class, I dare not look into the eyes of the opposite sex, and I easily feel embarrassed and shameful. - To reiterate, from childhood to adulthood, you have believed that you are inferior. In public places, you believe that you don't have the right to speak. Others are just a mirror, and you dare not look into the eyes of the opposite sex, which indicates that you also dare not look into your own eyes, you are afraid to face your true self, and you are afraid that others will see the real you. If you are not willing to face your true self, naturally you will be worried about others seeing the real you. Only by daring to face your true self, will you not be afraid to look into the eyes of the opposite sex.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15198
       },
       {
        "question": "Tired of enduring the pain of his childish behavior after marriageWhat to do?",
        "description": "Love for a year married twelve years to serve the sick father-in-law six years old child eleven years old is my parents to help us take care of the support of my career husband's family non-stop something father-in-law is sick father-in-law's mother can not withstand the pain of the loss of a son drank pesticides to commit suicide in-laws just found a younger than their own seven years old companion of the husband's examination for the qualification examination for six or seven years so far did not get out of the exams I'm very tired!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you have been married for 12 years and have shouldered a lot of burdens for your family, especially your husband's family. It seems that various things have happened to your husband's parents and even his grandmother, which is indeed quite difficult. Although you did not describe it in the question, from the title, it can be seen that these things have brought you a lot of pressure. However, it seems that your husband has not been able to help you much, and I think that's where you feel wronged, right? \n\nThe boundary between the nuclear family and the extended family is different in Chinese families compared to Western families. After marriage, the nuclear family becomes an independent unit, usually consisting of one's own parents and the husband's parents. Of course, in China, it is not possible to completely achieve this. Our culture and customs dictate that parents help us take care of our children, which creates various relationships with our own families on one hand. Such a family system can provide us with a lot of support, both in terms of behavior and psychology. But on the other hand, it also brings a lot of burdens, especially in your husband's family, where they seem unable to take care of themselves well. You need to shoulder a lot of responsibilities. However, this does not mean that you cannot maintain certain boundaries. These boundaries are practical on one hand and psychological on the other. \n\nWhen your father-in-law gets sick, you have to take care of him, and if your mother-in-law attempts suicide, things are bound to be chaotic. But what effect does it have on you when your mother-in-law finds a partner who is seven years younger than her? Is it possible that you are too deeply involved in their lives? Your title says that you cannot accept your husband's immaturity, but from the description, many of your troubles seem to be related to his family's problems. As children, we should take care of and help our families, but we also need to believe that they have the ability and right to solve their own problems. When you mentally withdraw a little bit, you still need to do certain things, but your mentality will be different. In other words, you can be physically tired but not mentally tired. \n\nThe most important thing is your relationship with your husband and your own nuclear family. You mentioned that your husband displays many immature behaviors. What does that mean? Is he not growing up or not independent enough? Without knowing the situation of your relationship with him, if you are used to being controlling and wanting to manage everything, then he is even less likely to grow up. So, take more time to look at your status, your relationship, and how to manage your nuclear family. Also, pay more attention to yourself, your emotions, and your current state. What has happened recently? You have been married for 12 years and have experienced many things. Regardless of the situation, you have managed to overcome them. I don't know if there have been any recent events that have made you feel exhausted, but starting to reflect on your own patterns is a good thing and can be the beginning of change.~ Good luck, and may you grow on the path of life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good afternoon! The owner of the building. See the owner's description, feel the owner's hard work, after all, any home management is not easy, the owner in the management of the small family at the same time also need to take care of the in-laws more, and the husband has not yet enough efforts, all these are another owner feel tired, the owner hard work. Let's try to look at some of the nodes that can be captured in the event, from another angle to see if it can help the owner. The owner has been in love with her husband for one year, married for twelve years, has an eleven-year-old child, and has taken care of her sick father-in-law for six years. From the above information, after a year of love after marriage, that is also after dating to understand, and carefully decided to get married, after twelve years of marriage, the child is eleven years old, it is clear that the owner and her husband's emotions are still relatively deep, after all, after twelve years of married life together, perhaps a lot of daily life has a lot of trivialities and a lot of difficulties for the owner to worry about, but still hold hands and move forward. Taking care of sick father-in-law for six years, the owner is really not easy, this is the performance of filial piety, but also the performance of love, the above information shows that the owner and her husband's feelings are still particularly deep. [The need behind the tiredness] The owner's parents take care of the children, they have to be busy with their careers, but also busy with the in-laws, it is really tired! Then in the tired behind, what the owner needs, their parents to help take care of the children, need to husband to see the in-laws to pay, in-laws, in-laws, father-in-law died, father-in-law's mother drank medicine to commit suicide, mother-in-law to find a small 7-year-old partner, I hope that the in-laws things can be smoother, less worry, because the owner of the career plus the child has been a lot of things. [Sincere communication] the owner and her husband sincerely sit down to communicate, after all, those are big family things, the owner's husband 6 years did not take down the certificate, then perhaps need to explore the study program and arrangements, etc., while the owner to express their inner needs, the owner needs to work harder to arrange the family affairs. Finally, I wish the owner of the early ushering in the husband as a pillar of support for the family.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18901
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if my parents don't understand that my dreams are so annoying? Should I leave home?",
        "description": "My parents really don't understand my dream, they just straight up vote it down and don't give me any leeway, but my dream is something I've been doing all my life and don't understand why they have to be a stumbling block to me. I just want them to understand my dreams and not just be against them regardless of black and white, what should I do",
        "keywords": "Family, Parent Communication, Child Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject ah ~ I do not know what kind of dream you dream, may be your parents will think you such a dream is unrealistic, or maybe they just want you to do a stable job in the future to have a stable life is good. Parents think, always from the perspective of their good for us to do for us to plan, often this intention is not to get us to understand, and our dreams, the vision of the future they can not understand, always so you do not understand me and I do not understand you, it is easy to appear contradictions. But parents are really not our stumbling block, if we are the kite, they are the kite flyer, although because of them we can not fly wherever we want to fly, but also because of them, we can be in the landing time to land safely, rather than drifting wherever you count. I don't know at what age the subject is now, but I think he is still studying. In your current stage, the dream and parents' expectations can also be carried out at the same time ah, for example, you can for your dream to study hard, your dream needs which professional knowledge, and which universities in the country in this field of specialization is very prominent, you take this as a goal, towards the direction of hard work, to accumulate enough knowledge, for the future realization of your dream to lay the foundation. At the same time, you can also slowly try something related to your dream in your spare time, when your parents see your enthusiasm and also achieve some results, they will slowly put their hearts down. When you talk to your parents, you can also talk about your dream, little by little, let your parents understand your love and your determination. We and our parents will inevitably have some differences in viewpoints and perspectives, do not be anxious, take your time, one day your parents will understand.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13532
       },
       {
        "question": "All the people don't like me and are afraid to make friends with anyone?",
        "description": "I really want to die, I really don't know what to do, all the people don't like me, no one loves me, family? Oh, the so-called family will only use me as a punching bag, I really now dare not make friends with anyone, I dare not tell anyone what I think, perhaps said also said in vain, perhaps dead, is a kind of relief, may ask this question after I have left the realization, or perhaps not! Look at the fate!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Moods, Guilt and Shame, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner you said that after asking the question you might have left, and now that three days have passed since you asked the question, I really hope that you are still well and can still see my reply. You said, everyone does not like you, all do not love you, you come to this conclusion based on what judgment? Our feelings, in fact, are all very subjective, and very often, feelings do not equal truth. We human beings, when we were first born, were completely helpless and could not have survived without the care of others. I think that since you were able to grow up healthy, it means that you at least had people around you who cared about you. The fact that you don't feel the love of others is, perhaps, just a mismatch between the love you expect, and the love given by others. Family members treat you like a punching bag, and that's what they're doing wrong, but that doesn't completely negate the love and care that your family gives you. Many of our parents, in fact, do not not love their children, but do not know how to love their children, or even if they do know, they are not capable of doing so. Every parent, with the trauma of their own upbringing, with their own psychological problems, with all kinds of psychological immaturity, they may make a lot of mistakes in raising their children, but it doesn't completely negate their love. You have to believe that you are loved you and deserve to be loved. Relationships are, more often than not, mutual. If you don't want to befriend anyone, others will naturally sense your rejection and be afraid to befriend you. Befriending people may involve the risk of being rejected and cheated, but closing your heart will certainly not be replaced by others' friendship, and you are destined to be only a thousand miles away from people. Death is not a kind of relief, just escape, face the problem, is the performance of the brave. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everything that feels, feels like an illusion. There are 7 billion people on this planet, if asked one by one. Only then can you confirm what the truth is. What causes the great difference between people is. The eighth sense. Arya consciousness. Seeds sown in a certain space of time. In the here and now bears the fruit of the present. All encounters, all feelings, all thoughts, all mentalities now. Everything.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15015
       },
       {
        "question": "When you can't do it right yourself, the more people talk about it, the worse it gets?",
        "description": "Recently, the service upward, we are required to command, so began to play, the requirements of the action, reporting, command to have the spirit, fluidity, movement in place, but when watching the simple, the turn of their own, I either forget the words or forget how to dispose of the next step, or the words and actions are not coordinated, the coach will say, the more I say the more I do not do a good job, the more negative psychology, and even produce a resistance to the mood! ...",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Stress, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, for things you are not good at, give yourself the chance and times to make mistakes so that you can overcome your mental negativity and do better. It is very understandable how you feel because when we are doing something, the bystanders will have an impact on the efficiency and results of what we are doing. For example, for something we are not familiar with, when a lot of people are present, we will distract ourselves partly and make ourselves less efficient or fail due to taking into account their comments. It can be even more irritating to be under the constant accusations and criticisms of others, not only because our face and dignity are being challenged, but also because we are distracting our emotional and attentional resources even more, making the outcome worse and worse. It's understandable to accept that you have such emotions before you can adjust and deal with them. When we are unable to meet a certain standard of doing something, we can try to work on it alone, or we can reach out for help, whether it be moral support or event specific guidance. Adjust your own emotions first. Maybe the coach is also upset with the teaching and is anxious inside, so the words will be a bit intense. Everyone will have emotional outbursts and styles of dealing with things. Maybe the other person is a harsh and judgmental type of leader, and it will be easier on yourself to develop some understanding of the other person. You can have a private conversation with the other person about what went wrong for you and how you can change it. You can practice more behind the scenes, and strive to achieve coherence, but there may be some problems, he helped guide you, or teach you some tips, than the effect of your own efforts, will be twice as effective. You can also talk to your coworkers and friends about your feelings and get some encouragement from them, so that you can solve the negative emotions and face the training with a calm mind, which may have a good training effect. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17887
       },
       {
        "question": "Sophomore in college this year and want to see a therapist but don't think it's that serious?",
        "description": "I recently started college and have had a hard time sleeping since it started, and I've been frustrated every day, and I don't know if it's a bed recognition issue. There are a lot of other things that make me uncomfortable, too sensitive, every time I feel that way, and I feel like it's my own problem, I shouldn't be thinking that way, it's very contradictory, and it's already starting to affect my life, I want to see a psychiatrist, but I don't feel like I'm so serious that I need to see one!",
        "keywords": "Treatment, somatic reactions, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, I feel your confusion ~ it's really hard to adapt when you just go to school after staying at home for a long time, it's not an isolated phenomenon, a few college students around me also feel like you do. You said you don't know if it's a problem of recognizing the bed, it could be that, once a person doesn't sleep well, he or she will have a lot of negative emotions. Being too sensitive about things is often due to having been constantly denied and blamed in the early years of self-formation. This kind of denial and blame will evolve into self-denial, completely internalized in their own subconscious, before others deny themselves, they first deny themselves, these facial emotions, will form a knot. These emotions will form a knot in the heart. If the knot accumulates, it will evolve into a kind of excessive sensitivity. You can think back to your childhood experiences, were you ever recognized enough? It is our natural human need to be recognized, and this psychological need needs to be met by external recognition. This has been particularly evident recently in my three-year-old daughter. Therefore, being recognized, respected and loved is the most important part of this natural need. The word \"sensitive\" is not positive or negative. Pros: Highly sensitive people tend to be highly attuned to the details of life that they can perceive. They are able to notice details that the average person would miss. They are also more cautious and consider the consequences of their actions. They are also more able to feel and recognize their own emotions. They are more able to sympathize with other people's situations and empathize with their feelings than others in their daily lives and work. Weaknesses:Easily overwhelmed by their own emotions, leading to more internalized pain, fatigue, stress, anxiety, and other emotional reactions. Also particularly susceptible to the emotions of others. Because of their outstanding perceptiveness, highly sensitive people pay so much attention to the details of things that they develop an unhealthy tendency toward perfectionism. For the state you are in now, it is possible to find a way to release stress that works for you. In life, no matter when it is, you can't avoid encountering some stress. You can choose to work out, paint, read books and other ways to relieve the negative emotions in your heart. Meditation is also a good method, a mental on the meditation planet, may wish to try. May on the road to growth, you and I together, fearless forward ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, I'm sorry you've been feeling this way recently. The epidemic trapped us for a little over a year, and everyone has had an unusual year, and going back to school is bound to feel uncomfortable. I'm glad you were sensitive to the changes in yourself and reached out here for help, which most likely dictates that you'll get better. People will encounter some changes in life because of a variety of emotional problems, this is very normal, but when you feel that those disturbances have begun to affect your life, learning, it is necessary to pay attention to the psychological problems are not necessarily a disease, but just a certain period of time within the event, because of some encounters caused by the psychological confusion, your life has a certain impact on it. As for how you really want to get through this difficult period, my personal ideas are as follows, for reference only: 1, think about the last six months you have encountered any major events, whether you have an impact on you? 2, find the right psychological counselor to carry out the necessary guidance, but also to do some exploration of your situation. 3, to the hospital's psychological department to do the necessary checks sometimes some of their own discomfort is really the body out of the situation, if you can rule out this possibility is also more comfortable. If you can rule out this possibility, you will feel more at ease. Of course, the general hospital psychiatry to do diagnosis very quickly, and the general situation will use drugs, if the doctor's diagnosis results show the need to use drugs, you can at the same time do psychotherapy, so that the effect will be better. However, it is also possible that, as you said, it is just that during this period of time, you are experiencing some disturbances and just need some help, because it is not clear about your specific situation, and it is not possible to give more advice. I hope you can get rid of your troubles soon.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject! Hugs to you! From your statement, I understand and feel that you may be anxious now. Next, let's analyze the reasons: (1) the university has started, it is difficult to sleep after the start of the school year, probably because of bed recognition; (2) there are a lot of uncomfortable things, too sensitive, every time you have that kind of feeling, there is the belief that it is their own problem, it is very contradictory, which has brought about an impact on your life. For the new school year, there will be a lot of discomfort, just like the subject said \"recognizing the bed\", but these discomforts may be slowly over time, when we adapt to the new environment, the bad experience may also slowly disappear. As for the other things you mentioned, you didn't specify them here, so you may have some concerns that you can't express, which is normal. But no matter what, we all have our own problems, and we can use our own experiences and what we have learned over the years to deal with what you are experiencing. If we can't handle it on our own, we can go to our family, friends, doctors, etc. for help and not put ourselves in the middle of an unpleasant experience. In life, we can also write about our experiences and then go back to them to see if we have learned something different and can find the answers we want from what we have written. The subject said that he wanted to see a psychiatrist, but he didn't think he was that serious. I wonder what kind of distress made you want to see a psychiatrist. Now let me talk about counseling and psychotherapy: Counseling: It is for the normal group of people, and it includes \"general psychological problems\". Sadness and distress are an unavoidable part of everyone's life, so when we can't alleviate them on our own, we can seek help from a counselor. Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy may deal with groups of people with psychological abnormalities, such as people with various types of mental disorders, and may involve more personality problems. For the subject, we all have emotional problems, if you want to seek the help of psychological counseling, do not give yourself too much pressure, it does not mean that we go to psychological counseling, it means that we have any problems, we must be formal psychological counseling. I hope the above can bring some help to the subject. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello building owner! Saw some of your confusion and tried to help you sort it out. Difficulty in sleeping, very frustrated This may be just happy and uncomfortable, but also may be there are other things anxiety caused by many other things that make you uncomfortable you can give yourself a ranking, which things are the most affected by their own, as the first; line up their first, and then line up the second, and so on. After organizing, the heart has a number, one by one to deal with in-depth and think about this is also to explore their own heart, sorting out the process of their own values Feeling very sensitive? There is also ambivalence you are not quite sure, these things that affect you, is it caused by your own thinking too much. Things that can affect you are still important and cared about in your own mind. For example, self-image, a sense of worth, a sense of security, and so on. Whether to see a psychiatrist psychiatrists generally sit in the hospital, will go to deal with some serious mental illness, mainly drug treatment of your situation, if there is a counselor to help sort out is better, the counselor is to help normal people to solve general psychological problems and developmental problems hope to help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand the discomfort of just starting school, after all, I just started school too (cover your face), and the change in lifestyle and environment can be a bit of a shock both physically and psychologically. As for whether or not you need to see a doctor, it's a relatively subjective thing, especially since it doesn't seem to be particularly serious. Therefore, let me start by giving you an overview of the process and content of a visit to the psychiatry/psychology department of a hospital. Generally speaking: our first visit is to a psychiatrist, who will ask you about your complaint (why you're coming to the doctor, what symptoms you have, etc.), then ask you to do some scales (such as the Symptom Self-Criticism Scale, Depression and Anxiety Self-Rating Scale, and even the Minnesota Personality Inventory), and then combine the results of your own descriptions and assessments with your diagnosis (i.e., what's wrong with you), and then finally recommend medication or medication for your condition, or do something about your condition. You'll be advised to take medication or get counseling depending on your situation. Therefore, I think if you have insomnia and are easily affected by things around you, going to see a doctor is a safe choice. Through the scores of the scale and the doctor's diagnosis, you can have a clearer understanding and judgment of the severity of your problem, and you will not be at a loss. Of course, psychiatrists are more interested in providing diagnosis and medication. Based on your description above, I can see that you are sensitive to your surroundings and you like to attribute the causes to yourself, which is a mode of thinking that may bring you a great mental burden. Therefore, I suggest that it is more necessary for you to seek psychotherapy in addition to seeking help from a psychiatrist. You can also seek help from your school's counseling center if psychotherapy in hospitals is more expensive. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I see that you talk about \"having some worries and pains and wanting to see a psychiatrist, but not feeling as if you need to see a doctor\". You seem to have a feeling that you can't do anything about these troubles, and you feel that you need some help. But at the same time, you feel that even though you are having trouble, and even though it is difficult for you to solve the problem temporarily, it is not so bad that you need to see a psychiatrist. Therefore, you are a little confused about whether to see a psychiatrist or not. It seems that you don't think you can tell if you are \"sick\" enough to need a doctor's help, and if you are, you will probably go to a doctor without hesitation. If you're not \"sick\", you don't need to see a doctor. I don't know whether you mean a psychiatrist or a counselor (or someone else who can provide psychological help), but regardless of the type of person, they all have a role to play: to help you determine your state and whether or not you need to be treated. Not all visits to a psychiatrist are necessarily \"I have a serious problem that I can't solve, so I'm asking a psychiatrist to help me solve it\", but they can also be \"I'm having trouble with something, and I can't tell by myself whether I have a problem or not, whether I need help or not, how much help I need (or don't need), and (if I do need) what kind of help I need\". ) what kind of help is needed\". If you find it difficult to make a judgment on your own, perhaps you can ask the school counselor (if there is one) to help you make a judgment before making a decision.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, \"I want to see a psychiatrist, but I don't think it's that serious\", you are concerned about your own psychological state, but there is still some resistance to seeing a psychiatrist, there will be some internal conflict, the feelings of the moment may be both entangled and uncomfortable, right? In fact, after the epidemic of college life, the objective environment changes everyone will be uncomfortable, and those problems you feel uncomfortable, may come from interpersonal relationships or academic aspects, right? These things that bother you trigger your self-denial and criticism, and the conflict from within gives you too much internal conflict, so will you feel tired. To see a psychiatrist or not, if you can adjust on your own, then give yourself some more time to deal with it, if you can't stand the moment, you don't need to tie yourself up with the fact that seeing a psychiatrist must be a serious problem, it's okay for you to take care of yourself in any way you care to take care of yourself ah!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your narrative. You talk about two things, one is having some trouble sleeping right now. The other thing is your mood, recently some frustration. However, there are some reasons behind it, which you are not really willing to talk about, you just said that you have encountered some bad things recently. It's obvious that you're a little anxious and depressed. Often depression brings itself into memories of the past. Suck it down and you have to sort out what you can do, what you can change, what you can't change and make a distinction between what you can do and what you can't do, and don't let yourself get carried away. At least in the heart of such a ritual, as if they are not able to control things, do things to fantasize about putting it into a small box, set aside first not to move it. When you feel you have the power to solve them, then you take them out and solve them one by one. You didn't talk about your social connections at school, sometimes external circumstances can make a difference. Especially if you have understanding friends and classmates around you. Of course if it's you who are having problems with your relationships at school, I hope you'll talk about it. That would be another topic.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner~ I understand your anxiety, you find yourself in some uncomfortable things, want to go to see a psychiatrist, but do not think it is to that point. In fact, counseling is not just about helping \"patients\" with problems. In some areas where psychology is more avant-garde, counselors can help people with emotional relief, employment assistance, and emotional sorting. At present, there are still many people who think that those who go to receive psychological counseling, see a psychiatrist or even study psychology are \"sick\" people, so it can be seen that there are still many people who have a great misunderstanding of psychology and psychological counseling. Psychological counseling is to help a person find the true self and the value of the process, in which the counselor's personal ability and quality of course important, but the help of the person's own efforts is the key decisive role. If the owner wants to see a psychiatrist or receive psychological counseling, must go to a formal institution to find a professional, so as to avoid misdiagnosis and misjudgment, making a big mistake. If the owner feels that he can regulate this kind of emotion and psychology, it is naturally the best, such as difficulty in falling asleep can listen to some soothing music or meditation. I hope my answer can help you, I wish you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, when seeing that said thoughts and feelings have affected your life, I think it is more practical to ask how to get better. Sometimes we understand the reasoning, but still can't change anything, and that's when we may need the help of a counselor or psychiatrist. There are many ways to find psychological help: in hospitals, psychiatrists with prescribing rights prescribe medication and arrange counseling; psychotherapists without prescribing rights do counseling, and there are also psychiatrists with psychotherapist certificates. Counselors outside of hospitals also do counseling. In colleges and universities, they are also equipped with counseling, which is still quite reliable; some are hospital psychotherapists, some are outside counselors, and it's free, but maybe you can only make one appointment at a time; it's not recommended to change counselors at will, because changing one is like reopening a scar. If it's something that can be self-regulated, such as emotional anxiety, etc., consider trying positive thinking meditation, etc., on your own, but of course all of this is a process, cheers! One thought from a stranger.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8318
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if my boyfriend is sexually dysfunctional with me after going through a dark period?",
        "description": "C is my current boyfriend, is to know more than 5 years of friends, their respective lives are quite smooth, and then off and on contact, we have feelings for each other, at the end of last year we decided to get together. But before August I met 10 years older than me A, on the dinner relationship for 3 months, separated, November found himself unexpectedly pregnant 5 weeks, A accompanied me to the hospital to do an abortion, he knew the existence of C, during this period of peeking at my cell phone, threatened me, was blackmailed for money, after that, I and A completely cut off communication. None of my parents or friends knew about these things and then it was all C who accompanied me to the hospital for a review and he said he didn't mind that I had had an abortion...after that we got together and met my parents but they didn't like him much and wanted to diffuse the parental issues with time. We then live in another city, the beginning of us like normal male and female friends like very enjoyable sex life, but then gradually he said that every time the sex life of me have a psychological barrier ...... I was very painful inside, think that three months into the life of the stain... The last six months often insomnia, often crying, the spirit is not as good as before. The spirit is not as good as before...What should we do? What can we do? What can we do to solve my boyfriend's sexual dysfunction towards me? I hope there are professional psychologists to solve our psychological problems.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Relationship Management, Sexuality",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the subject. The subject was in a relationship with A for only three months though, but had a pregnancy and a miscarriage and some very deep entanglements, and although it seems negative, there seems to be a deep emotional involvement somewhere. At first, because of C's acceptance, the subject didn't seem to have or need to deal with that part. Then C suddenly became unacceptable and gave the part back to the subject, or at least put it between the two of you, and the subject is now forced to deal with it, I'm afraid. Trying to erase it as a \"stain\" won't do anything - we can only change the effects of something that has already happened, we can't make it not happen. As for C, it may have inspired a lack of confidence in him in front of potential competitors. Although you've known each other for a long time, in terms of the depth of your relationship, C may potentially feel that, at least so far, he can't top the experiences that A has brought to you so profoundly, even if those experiences are painful for you. So your relationship with C is in crisis, and whether this test is a \"danger\" or an \"opportunity\" for the relationship may depend on the inner strength of both of you. The fact that your relationship is still going strong six months later suggests that there is something else that can hold your relationship together, and that the relationship has been able to carry the load, at least for the time being. If you have enough synergy to develop the depth of your experience far enough to cover the imprint that A has left on your life, then those three months may no longer be a problem for you, and for C. There is never a dilemma or an opportunity, it just needs to be faced. As far as the approach is concerned, you can face it together, or you can face it separately, or whoever has the will to do so can face it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think this is something that speaks for itself. Both of your boyfriends are a bit unmanly. The first one is over haha, now this one, now come to dislike, but it's a bit unmanly. It's not your problem, it's his. This is a problem for him to solve, not you. He accepts the miscarriage you, even if he accepts you and the child, the same can be very happy life, who has not fallen down. Just get up. Now this one really, needs to be criticized. To put down is not to give up, to wish is not to desire, to see is not to meet. To say perfect is not \"complete\", to say nothing is not \"nothing\", we in life, always at this time, that place, meet this and that self. We always hope that this and that kind of ending, often we have thought of many endings, but never thought of this kind of ending. May still confuse some words, chaotic fill in a few fill-in-the-blank questions, that way to do the multiple choice questions, judgment questions are also hesitant to make a judgment in a hurry. There are no what ifs in life, so we always excuse ourselves with \"what ifs\". There is no such thing as chance or encouragement, but there is inevitability and interconnectedness. Once you've identified your problems and emotions, and you've decided that you want to cultivate your \"true self,\" then you just need to tell yourself, \"I do,\" in the face of all your problems. The next time and space is for the real person to let go of the emotions and face the problems. Tell him to wake up.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can see that your current boyfriend has gradually developed some unacceptable situations towards a part of your life experience, and at the same time, I can also see that you want to maintain and develop this relationship through professional help. I guess you still care about this relationship, don't you? Because I also read in the text that you said that you \"want to take time to resolve your parents' problems\" even though they are not too happy with this person. If you want, you can invite your boyfriend to join you for a period of partner counseling, which will work better. I wish you all the best, and in the meantime, take care of yourself.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 16286
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a hard time getting pleasure from socializing and was wondering if socializing is necessary?",
        "description": "I have a hard time getting pleasure from socializing, there is no way to feel safe, so I am mostly subconsciously defensive in my dealings with people, and even though I tell myself that other people are not a threat to me, there is never a way to trust them, resulting in an inability to build close relationships and very few friends around me. I don't want this habit to continue, after all, this is a group life.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Socializing has some validity for the individual, but not necessity. Especially nowadays, information, logistics, transportation, etc. are so convenient and fast that you can get most of the services you want by paying for them, and you don't always need friends and family to help you out. The effectiveness of socializing does not lie in the short-lived pleasure gained, but in whether one can draw from it the nutrients that can be used for one's better existence, such as being more energetic, more insightful, more courageous, and more ambitious. To determine whether the socialization is effective, you can refer to the following example: 1, you are a firewood, he is a cowherd, you two met on the hillside after chatting for half a day, his cattle are full, your firewood? This is the ineffective socialization. 2, you are firewood, he is cattle herding, you two met on the hillside after chatting for half a day, his cattle ate enough, through chatting with him, you know the east side of the mountain more firewood trees, the west side of the mountain there is a cliff of death, the next day you go to the east side of the mountain to cut a lot of firewood home. 3, you are the firewood, he is the cattle herding, you two met on the hillside and chatted for half a day, his cattle ate enough, where is your firewood? This is effective socialization. 3, you are firewood, he is a cattle rancher, you two met on the hillside after chatting for half a day, his cattle are full, and finally a conspiracy, you decided to open a grilled beef skewer store in partnership at the entrance of the village, you cut the firewood grilled beef skewers have a special flavor, three years later you have opened a total of 50 stores, five years later, your kebab company went public. This is effective use of socialization. A study says that many intelligent people are unable to experience true happiness in social situations, and that participating in social activities instead causes them anxiety for no apparent reason, so they display a withdrawn and out-of-touch temperament. \u25cf Writer Eileen Chang once said: what social activities she participated in, and when she came back to think about it, every word she said and every action she did, she felt so stupid that she actually regretted and almost hated it. Zhang Xiaolong, the founder of WeChat, also said: I've never seen a hilarious person who shines brightly. It's true that it's hard to build intimacy without being able to trust people all the time, and it affects the richness of an individual's life to a certain extent, but poor socialization destroys the quality of life just as much. Time is a scarce resource when you don't have strong relationships with people, and learning to be alone can be a premium over spending time on poor quality and ineffective socializing.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, I am happy to answer your queries. First of all, let's briefly sort out the confusion in your question. From your question, I have sorted out the following two confusions: I wonder if socializing is a necessary activity. If socializing is necessary, I want to find some ways to make myself happy from socializing. [Confusion Analysis] {First Confusion} I think everyone has a different understanding of whether socializing is necessary. Some will say, \"Some accomplished monks, or practitioners who live in seclusion in deep forests, they just live alone and have some accomplishments of their own.\" Some say, \"Socializing is a necessary activity for everyone, even if you are playing games alone at home, but it is also full of social activities in the virtual world.\" From a psychological point of view, those who are able to live truly alone and have a good attainment of spiritual thought, they are not really alone, shall we say, but they have had a rich and full relationship at one time. This fullness of relationship has been internalized within them so that they are always nourished by it. So, even though these practitioners appear to be alone, they are actually practicing with a relationship within them. Then, if we put it in a sociological perspective, the importance of relationship is even more self-evident. The whole human civilization is accomplished by the joint collaboration of human beings, and the collaboration between human beings definitely needs the establishment and support of relationship. Therefore, from a broader perspective, relationships are also very important. Of course, for individuals, relationships also mean the building of our intimate relationships, the formation of marriage and family, the maintenance of social network relationships, etc. Each of us is woven into the great web of relationships. Without relationships, all that we have now may cease to exist. {Second Confusion} Having just talked about the importance of relationships, I think you are more concerned with the question of how to enable yourself to build secure, stable and intimate relationships. In your question, you said that \"you are always subconsciously defensive, and there is always no way to trust others.\" From a psychological point of view, these are typical psychological states of insecurity. However, the establishment of a sense of security does not mean that you live in a safe space, but rather a subconscious feeling. The same piece of the world is felt differently by each of us. Just like standing in front of an ocean, some people feel the beauty of the ocean, they can feel the sea breeze, the sea water lapping; however, some people feel boundless fear, they are worried that the storm will come at a certain time, so they are always anxious, and even less in the mood to enjoy the beauty of the world. This is the effect of insecurity on everyone's heart; it changes the way we perceive the world and prevents us from perceiving the good things. So what are the direct causes of insecurity? If we trace the root of the problem, we tend to think that it is some problems between the baby and the child in infancy and early childhood, I here from the more realistic two perspectives to look at the problem of lack of security: 1. Attention tendency like the sea story mentioned above, insecure people tend to allocate their attention to the disaster, pain, and some negative things. Just like a flower inserted in the stool, some people see the flower first, some people pay attention to the stool first. 2. will temporal push to the future or to the above example of the sea, security will be full of people will pay more attention to the present thing, and insecurity will be by the present a thing push to the future, and amplification and catastrophe, for example, to see a relatively large waves lapping over, may be associated with will not be immediately There is a storm coming. The above two ways of thinking are commonly used by people with a lack of security, so what can we do to improve our inner security? The establishment of a sense of security is not an easy thing to do, just like our heart owes a debt, we have to pay it back slowly. Gradually build up from the closest people. Despite being the closest person, you may be defensive, but that's okay, because a long time together will slowly loosen your closed inner door. Seek help from a professional psychologist. If you still find it difficult to build a sense of security, you may want to find a psychological teacher, because a learned psychological teacher is more likely than others to give you a trusting and tolerant environment, avoiding inadvertent harm in the relationship and making you retreat into a world of one's own. I hope the above reply is helpful to you.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! Sending you a warm hug. After reading your question, I'd love to talk about it in the form of an answer. I used to feel the same way as you, and after constant conditioning, I am now able to stabilize my inner and outer selves basically. --First of all, after listening to your self-explanation, I think you still desire to establish intimate relationships, but you don't know how to better establish, the root cause is not enough self-confidence, the inner more pursuit of perfection, overly concerned about the eyes of others for fear of their own real emotions in social imperfections so that other people don't like themselves, so that they would have been maintained by the The way you have maintained yourself in the eyes of others can be accepted collapsed. --Secondly, socialization is necessary, especially with age, because happiness needs to be shared, at home with family, outside to have friends life will not be easily imbalanced. Focus on your inner social needs, have more interactions with the people you want to be, take your time to learn the personality traits, language traits of those you admire that fit with you, try to express yourself in a bunch of people, let people get to know you, and believe that no one will hate a sincere person. --Finally, there are some suggestions that I hope will help you. Explore your abilities and build up your self-confidence] Set a small goal in your life, or learn a skill, or continue to do something you are already good at, or give yourself a trip after a hard day's work, and try to take control of your life and your heart step by step by accomplishing the small plans you set for yourself. I believe that you can control your own life, you can become much more confident, of course, remember to step by step. [Concerned about themselves, do not care too much about other people's bad eyes] do not always look at other people's eyes, to please themselves, do some of their own favorite things, and more to see their own flashpoints, in the face of disdain for the eyes of the courage to fight back, to treat the eyes of the goodwill also do not forget to smile in response, in short, to be a little bit of courage Oh. [Increase the power of action] - If some want to avoid socializing, but a certain activity is necessary to participate in, then do not think too much, put on the most comfortable clothes, organize the spirit to go, sometimes social activities are not imagined so flustered, to go to the crowd to talk and laugh, maybe happy to come, than a person panicked too much! It's much happier to have more people and a bigger environment than to have a wider mind and a wider perspective. I believe that in the step by step practice the subject will have more opportunities to have Nike smile oh, hugs, good luck \ud83e\udd1c\ud83e\udd1b.",
          "has_label": false,
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          "answer_text": "Hello owner, you want to make friends but they don't bring you the joy of socializing, you can't convince yourself to trust others, and you always feel that others are defensive of you, right? In fact, I guess this is insecurity, I do not know the owner is now engaged in what work, the nature of the work how? I only give you some advice from a personal point of view: 1. Improve yourself. The society is all group life, try to improve yourself, naturally there will be more people to connect with you, enhance self-confidence, because self-confidence comes from their own evaluation of themselves. If you have a negative opinion of yourself, you are in a state of low self-esteem. If your opinion of yourself is mostly positive, then you are in a state dominated by self-confidence. Self-confidence by the continuous accumulation of self-affirmation, when you can provide value to the people and things around you, the people around you will also give you feedback affirmative information, affirmation accumulated more you will become confident. As long as the confidence up, your mindset, your relationships will be followed by a sea change. 2. learn to be independent. Being brave enough to face your inner desire for success is about focusing on your own heart instead of taking your cues from other people about how you should be, what you should do, and what you should have. True independence means no longer relying on other people. When you habitually look up to others, it means that your dependence has set in, and you become a sheep who only obeys the little sheep and doesn't think. You fear authority, failure, and think you are not as good as others, thus pressing your confidence to the ground. People who lack confidence are usually afraid to make decisions. Fearing that they are incapable of doing what they are \"supposed\" to do or what is expected of them, they simply don't do anything or put it off as long as they can. Unwillingness to make decisions because of the belief that you can't make the \"right\" decisions. Hope this helps ~ the world and I love you ~\ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! You mentioned that \"I have a hard time getting pleasure from socializing and wonder if it's necessary.\" I would like to start with the evolution of \"socialization\". First of all, our ancestors in the ancient times is to rely on the power of the group to hunt to survive a kind of animal, after a long evolutionary development, only gradually perfected the development of a necessary behavioral pattern that is to become \"social\", its emergence means that we can solve problems through social interaction, rather than relying on body language only! to communicate. With the evolution of society \"social\" is given more and more meaning and symbols, and today's society \"social\" is evolved into a kind of etiquette and even a standard, which can measure a person's level of development can also be regarded as a kind of ability, and then Slowly \"social\" has become a problem and trouble, people hate is not social itself, but that the rules behind the social as well as a variety of constraints, why not try to find a list of social points that affect you. \"It's hard for me to get happiness from socializing, and I can't feel safe, so I'm mostly subconsciously defensive when I'm dealing with people, and even though I tell myself that other people don't pose a threat to me, I'm never able to trust them, which makes it impossible for me to build close relationships, and I have very few friends around me.\" From the information you mentioned, I can see that socializing doesn't seem to be that great for you because it hardly brings you happiness and even more so, it doesn't bring you a sense of security. So \"What kind of socialization do you want?\" \"What kind of social skills would make you feel safe as well as happy?\" \"Assuming that socialization brings you security and happiness, what would you do?\" After you have answered these questions, you may want to try to find your own circle of people with similar interests with whom you will feel more joy and inner stability. Finally, I would like to say that the establishment of intimate relationships requires more than just socializing, first of all, we need to find and like a person from the bottom of our hearts, and secondly, we need to have the ability to love, which sometimes needs to be cultivated. Just because you can't have an intimate relationship doesn't mean you can't love, it means that the time is not ripe yet, and when you are able to be happy and secure without socializing, then I think you will have the ability to love people as well as yourself. Lastly, I wish us all the best, and I hope the above will help the subject, thank you for reading.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "If we are socializing and not getting pleasure, then we try to give a little to the community. Your little contribution is like a seed being taken care of so that soon there is growing life around us. Slowly fulfillment, joy is born. Really, try it, I tried it, it's true. When I was young, whenever I suffered a setback, I looked around to see if there was anyone who could give me a hand, encouragement and support to help me out of my predicament. But as I grew up, I realized that that kind of life was too passive, so I made a decision to give up looking for a spiritual support, and I chose to be a spiritual support for myself and others. I don't know why there is a sun in the sky, I only know that there is a sun in the sky, and I can be another sun, lighting up every corner of people's hearts and melting every inch of their ice. Supported by this belief, after a few years, I basically did that. Many of my friends around me, men and women, young and old, whether they are already working or pursuing further studies, whenever they are disillusioned, they tell me about their own troubles. Each time I would encourage them so that they would get some kind of spiritual motivation from me. For my friends, I always keep repeating two words: \"Believe in yourself, you are the best. There is no river you can't cross, never, ever, ever, ever give up on life.\" The thing that makes me the happiest is when people tell me that whenever they have a setback, they read my letter to them, and are filled with renewed confidence and strength. Finding solutions to problems, and even gaining some unprecedented abilities to do so, and also trying to help those in need around him, gradually becoming another little sun as well, so to speak, the people around me are more or less influenced by me. Everyone can be influenced and can influence others, it is just a battle of wills. Whoever has the stronger will is the winner. Learning to be a spiritual pillar was another important lesson for me, and although it took a lot of time and effort on my part, it was a lesson that had an extremely important impact on my life later on, so to speak, for the rest of my life. Everyone benefits. Bless you and go for it.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, human needs consist of five levels: physiological needs, safety needs, belonging and love needs, respect needs, and self-actualization needs. Among them, socialization needs belong to belonging and love needs - a person requires emotional connection or relationship with other people. According to this theory, people can survive just as well without socialization, but it will affect the fulfillment of our higher level needs and will affect the overall happiness of our lives. Everyone has different personalities and different attitudes towards social activities. It is good to have the ability to socialize as long as we have it, and we don't have to force ourselves too much towards socializing, we can adjust our attitudes towards socializing appropriately. We can follow our heart and reduce the frequency of socializing, and we should also improve our social skills appropriately. Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thanks for seeing a lot of pretty good replies. So I'm going to reply to you from a different angle. I wonder if you've ever thought about what your role is in society? What is your role in the family? What is your role in life? Whether or not socializing is necessary depends on your own role description. I think your self-description is more important: your state: insecure and defensive ...... your hope: you don't want to continue like this ...... So see what you can do about this so that you can adjust this habit? I would rather suggest that you deal with this insecurity within. I used to be very insecure person, and through five years of studying psychology and meditation, I gradually adjusted myself and thus also changed my perception of the world, of society. So if you improve yourself, you will naturally figure out a lot of things. Another thing about insecurity, it turns out that it is affected from the time we are in our mother's womb. If our mother is not in good shape when she is pregnant, and if she fails to respond to us in a timely manner when she is breastfeeding, it can all lead to insecurity or anxiety.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "People are social animals. Karl Marx said: \"The essence of man is the sum of all social relations.\" The position in the social network determines a person's social status and even their value. Therefore, socializing is a practical need. A person needs to expand their network, optimize their relationships, so they participate in various clubs, engage in social activities, promote themselves, and seek recognition from others. This is the opportunity to obtain more social resources and improve one's quality of life. It is undeniable that this is also one of the driving forces for social progress, especially for Chinese people who value relationships. However, in modern commercial society, the key still lies in one's abilities. By doing one's own job well, one can secure their own position. Is it really necessary to engage in ineffective socializing? I think not. It would be better to use that time for learning and self-improvement. Ultimately, one relies on oneself, and it is only what one truly possesses that can give them confidence.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8415
       },
       {
        "question": "It's hard for me when my friends say bad things about my husband, should I dislike them?",
        "description": "I and my friend casually chatting when I said I do not give my husband hand wash clothes, my husband said my mother to give me hand wash, my husband's tone is very good, but my friend heard said let me say my mother also give me hand wash, I heard the heart is particularly difficult. I think she said so seem my husband is very bad, I myself do not feel anything at all, and did not spit my husband's intention, is to say such a thing, I am very puzzled why she wants me to say that my husband, this is not to create conflict? It's very hard for me to have my own opinion, because I never feel that I have to dislike what my husband says, I think he wants to be loved like his mom, and he doesn't force me to have to wash it, and there's no fight, it's just very strange why she makes me say that, it's hard to let go of the fact that we don't think the same way about each other. Should I dislike her or not? Why do I think there is nothing? Is my husband really bad? It's hard for me when she says that.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Interpersonal Boundaries, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, warm hugs to you ~ From your friend's point of view, I would feel that you are sharing the trivialities of your life with her as a kind of trolling. It may be the content of the conversation or the context that makes him misunderstand. Because he is your friend, he may feel that you are spitting on him, so he needs to do something for you, such as a kind of emotional catharsis or guidance on how to deal with it. If it makes you feel uncomfortable because the other person's understanding isn't the same as yours, then you can just bring it up with your friend and talk to him about what your thoughts were about talking to him about it, and that you don't feel resentful about it, and that you don't want him to think poorly of your husband because of it. I can also sense that you are very fond of your husband, and I hope that you will be my friend and be able to have a better opinion of your husband, but really, I am only speaking to them, and they only want you to have a good time. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20925
       },
       {
        "question": "Chronically depressed and yelling like a maniac, am I bipolar?",
        "description": "Often upset about something, and used to suppress emotions, long-term depression, but inside may feel too hard, so again often like a crazy person yelling, crazy game, but feel the mood is still in an unhealthy state. Sometimes there is also a certain moment of emotional outbursts, tantrums and smashing things because of something.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, have a strong self-awareness, able to realize that you are now emotionally unstable, and when you encounter psychological distress, you did not hold on by yourself, but came here to actively seek the help of the respondents. When encountering difficulties, it is very necessary to find ways to seek the support and help of people around you###From your description, we can see that your emotions are relatively sensitive, and you are used to repressing your emotions, and you are not good at letting your negative emotions out, and sometimes you have over-excited emotions, and we can see that your current emotions are really not very stable###Suggested to go to the Psychology Department of the Tertiary Hospital or the Tertiary Psychiatric Hospital in a timely manner to seek medical treatment. Seek help from a doctor. The above is my suggestion, I hope it can help you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18412
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it my problem that I can't accept a relationship where I don't give equally?",
        "description": "I find myself unable to accept that two people in a relationship, whether friends or lovers, don't give as much as they should. Although in both types of intimate relationships, the giving should be free and voluntary and generally not require every bit of it in return. But I hate it when I'm very considerate and nice to a friend and at the same time the friend doesn't do anything for me, and neither does the lover. Often if I think I'm giving more than the other person, I feel bad about it and give them the cold shoulder. It's only if I give and get the same percentage from the other person that I feel the relationship is worth it. Is this my problem? Is it selfishness?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal,Communication,Interpersonal Boundaries,Empathy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, there is no way for the owner to accept that he or she, in a relationship, is not giving the same amount. If one gives a lot, then one expects the other person to give the same to him/her. I think this is a normal thing, none of us would say that we give unconditionally in a relationship. We all expect the other person to treat us in the same way, to be good to us. But it's usually hard to realize because we all treat our friends differently. And if we're in a relationship where we're always thinking about needing something in return while giving, then we're usually disappointed and can feel tired. So what can we do to avoid this annoyance? First of all there is no need to get ego touched when we are being nice to a friend, thinking I have given so much to him, why can't he treat me the same way? Some things are done when they are done, don't think too much about them. We don't have to make ourselves give as much as we want to when we are with our friends, it's enough for two people to be relaxed and happy together and to care about each other. If we don't want to do something ourselves, then there is no need to aggravate ourselves. Just talk to each other about it. Committing ourselves in exchange for a relationship usually feels tiring. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2311
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm 33 years old and I really hate my job that I've been doing for 8 years straight and I always want to quit.",
        "description": "33 years old, the current personnel administration work continuously for nearly 8 years, grumpy and irritable anxiety, more than half a year ago, ready to resign also because of physical and mental health and can not take care of children, due to work reasons to the field half a year after the work (work difficulty often crash and cry), now back to the original unit to promote the head of the department (the number of collapses have been eased, but also often anxiety and tension), has always been non-stop hints to myself to insist on, life! That's it, but at present is extremely hate the current work content (annoying things often sudden urgency, the last 3 years often overtime, department staff relations, young disobedience, poor quality and efficiency of the work, no progress and no achievement), interpersonal aspects of the nature of the more introverted, itself does not like more interpersonal communication, work and had to communicate up and down, often no effect results. From the heart did not really like or accept the work may be the rejection. Time and time again want to quit, and then always be now family, income and compromise. On the surface seems to be able to do, seems to be able to change, but the psychological repression, has been in the passive acceptance, there is no initiative, not to mention the work of motivation. People have to grow up, the more they grow up, the more they need to be mature, the more so the more silent the more revolting, contradictory, am I a psychological problem?",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Choice Tips, Job Stress, Job Fatigue",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It sounds like you are very anxious, painful, quite a lot of internal contradictions, conflicts, do not know how to solve, because they are in such a state and even began to self-doubt, I want to say, facing the pressure of work life relationships, the emergence of such anxiety and depression is very normal, very normal, very normal! It's important to say it three times. I especially understand your mood at this moment, as if work life is a mess, forgetting that you actually have a lot of resources and ability, you stick to a job for more than eight years, but also get the position to promote, which is not easy, worthy of praise for themselves! Engaged in a job for a long time, it is indeed easy to produce burnout, not only the lack of a sense of value caused by the lack of motivation, but also may be a long-term work in the cumulative effect of a variety of negative emotions suppressed, these emotions you can find a friend to confide in or also find a psychological counselor to deal with. At the same time in dealing with emotions, you can also try to adjust the way of work, three suggestions: perhaps you can first sort out their own strengths and weaknesses, to see what else needs to be improved in the post in charge of the aspects of the first to choose one of the simplest and easiest to learn for themselves to begin to slowly learn, improve; and then see if you have a tendency to perfectionism, everything as long as they do must ask themselves to do a good job? If so, then choose a actually not important but spend a lot of time and energy, try to put down this work; the last one, appropriate authorization of subordinates or seek help from superiors, help does not mean that they can not, it is precisely good management of resources a performance. I wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7256
       },
       {
        "question": "19 year old girl, can't remember how long ago she started having very real dreams on a regular basis?",
        "description": "Although it feels like there's nothing to say about this kind of thing, maybe it's just because I've been staying up all night, but the feeling of the dream being too real is really too disgusting, and even I had a moment of confusion off the dream and the memories, it always felt like it was a real experience, and it was too uncomfortable to bear, and even after I woke up, I would still feel palpitations and be surrounded by inexplicable panic",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Treatment Methods, Mental Disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject. Freud said that dreams are the expression of repressed emotions and forgotten desires, drawing on the material of life experience in a way that meets the degree of personal acceptance, and what cannot be expressed when awake due to the constraints of personal morality, the legal system, and the rules of society, can be expressed when asleep, as in the case of drunkenness, by breaking through the constraints of moral concepts and presenting itself. At the beginning of the sleep state, sometimes will consciously weave their own dreams, as a prelude to their own sleep state, this time the dream and the real reality is relatively similar. Dreams are a representation of the subconscious mind, and there is a lot to be said for understanding one's subconscious mind through interpreting dreams to gain a deeper understanding of oneself. If interested in yourself, try to find a counselor to work with on your dreams and see what this state of confusing dreams and memories is expressing. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13486
       },
       {
        "question": "Fifteen years old, the last year, why am I not happy anymore?",
        "description": "No one to play with me, my friends have left me behind, now I am alone, no more confidence, do not like to socialize with others, do not like to talk, do everything like to do alone, what is wrong with me? I obviously want to have three or five or two friends but I don't want to know or make friends.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Counseling, Talking and Listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~Hugs to the owner. Seeing that the owner is now asking such questions shows that the owner still wants good friends. It's just that now you may have some burnout in the aspect of interpersonal communication. It is not easy to meet a few friends in one's life, maybe you haven't met this person yet, but it's okay, sooner or later you will meet. It is not said that sometimes girlfriends is another self, maybe you have not met and their own very talk to the person until now. As long as your own character is not too eccentric, not too difficult to accept the words, I believe you will not have no friends. After all, more friends more road. We still make a few more friends good. It may be that you are now used to living alone, used to doing all the things alone, so you want to be alone. In fact, after a long time you will feel very lonely, and you will feel that it is not interesting, not as interesting as two people. You have to believe that you are the best, be confident.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
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           },
           {
            "start": 111,
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            "start": 212,
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           },
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            "start": 282,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5860
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling stifled when you find out your husband had a crush on your homeroom teacher in high school?",
        "description": "I stumbled upon a letter that my father-in-law wrote to my husband when he was in high school about urging him to let go of his feelings for a certain female teacher. (This teacher communicated with my father-in-law about this.) I have heard my husband talk about this past before, but what he said was that this teacher had thoughts about him. I understand why he lied, it wasn't a very honorable thing for him to do. But it still feels hard inside, I don't quite understand why a person would fall for their teacher, and this teacher was engaged at the time. What kind of mentality is that? It feels slightly perverted. When I think about when my husband and I met in college, I was a junior leader in the school club. Is it possible that someone like my husband is prone to be attracted to girls who are in a relative position of authority and are looked up to? I even remembered that several of my husband's female best friends in the past were relatively brilliant and excellent characters. I felt insecure and worried that my husband was too emotionally abundant, and that he might be easily attracted to the outstanding coworkers around him. (I am not as outstanding as I used to be in the campus after entering the society, and my career is not very strong, which is also the source of my worry.) May I ask the teachers how I should look at this matter, and how to adjust my mindset?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Concepts, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, high school people's minds are not mature enough, in learning or life more or less need the teacher's help, high school classes are busy, most of the time in the school and the teacher with, coupled with adolescent children in a kind of ignorant state, it will be easier to produce some feelings. This time to the teacher of some feelings is likely to be attachment plus some admiration, due to the lack of maturity, it is not quite distinguish their own to the teacher of this kind of feelings. The owner can learn to try to let go a little. Now you are adults, have their own independent values and thinking judgment, since you have been married to live together, it can prove that your husband is love for you. Also do not worry too much about your husband may be moved to the excellent and outstanding opposite sex, his friends of the opposite sex are excellent and outstanding people, may be a kind of admiration and a little appreciation of him. Have faith that you are also an excellent person, that you are married, and that there is a lot of love beyond his admiration for you. Take it easy and relax, believe in yourself, believe in your husband, and at the same time it's best to also keep improving and perfecting yourself in your life so that you may be more attractive to your husband. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12465
       },
       {
        "question": "Why am I unpopular everywhere I go and some people are popular everywhere they go?",
        "description": "However, I really feel very hard these 15 years I feel sorry for myself, 15 years too many unhappy things, I really do not know how to go on, my heart is very difficult, I think the world is very unfair, why some people are popular everywhere, and I am the same everywhere, alas, sometimes really do not want to live, think of others, and then think of their own, it is simply the sky and the earth ah, maybe I was born is a lonely life bitter life, want to be happy God does not give me happiness, happiness are others, sadness is mine why God how unfair, I really envy others, and I have never been happy, I really do not have a happy life. Maybe I was born to be a lonely and bitter life. I want to be happy, but God doesn't give me happiness, happiness is for other people, sadness is for me, why God is unfair, I really envy other people, and I've never been happy, I really feel bad, and it's been hard for a long, long time, no one in the world takes me seriously, and I hate the world, and I hate myself, and I hate other people, and other people hate me, and I hate myself, I'm so lonely. I'm so lonely, I've been disappointed and lonely for 15 years, I'm the hardest person in the world, what should I do? I'm looked down upon by others, I don't have the same life as others, I've been lonely for a long time, I've been depressed, it's very hard for me, what should I do? I don't want to live anymore, I want to die several times, it's very hard for me, it's so hard for me, it's so hard for me that I'm sick, I'm trying to be happy. I want to be happy, but God won't give me happiness.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the subject, I can understand your feelings at this moment, I once had the same mood, in their own efforts slowly come out, so I want to share with the subject one or two, I hope you can have a little help. A how to become a popular person once I thought, I just kind, upright, will be liked, later found that this character is not inviting, but miserable to be used. People like what kind of people?1 continue to cultivate their own strength, strength can make you can not be underestimated, 2 good to find the law of things, so that they are smarter, and you with the people will become more popular, the first thing you have to be useful, or you have enough contagious force can attract people around you. Infectiousness is the result of a very long-term cultivation, here will not repeat for the time being. Two how to look at our life many people's life is ordinary, but everyone is unique, this is the old chicken soup. Death, not a thing to be anxious about, everyone has to face death, why not live a wonderful life, to do what you want to do, to fulfill the dreams you want to fulfill, out of the haze, you will find a strong self. May we work together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3408
       },
       {
        "question": "Don't want to go to work after you have your second baby and one of the girls you hate got a promotion?",
        "description": "After having my second baby, I was home on maternity leave and during that time a girl I really hated got promoted. I went there earlier than her and was more capable than her. As a result, he is now my leader. Unwilling, jealous ...... Should I go to work? How to face her ......",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Interpersonal Workplace",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner! Seeing than their own ability of people become their own leader, a moment of jealousy and reluctance to produce the psychological is normal. Only, this kind of emotional excess, not only let you excessive internal consumption, but also may affect the future of your own career development. How to adjust it? First of all, please stand in the company's leadership point of view, this girl may be able to as you say than you are low, but in a period of time in a row, including your maternity leave, pregnancy during the work of the reduced degree of commitment, as well as your return to the workplace may not be able to significantly improve the degree of commitment to the job for the time being, and other factors to consider, she is more than the company and the work of the commitment to pay for you, then you will be given the opportunity for promotion to whom it is? So, this outcome is inevitable and is one of the \"costs\" and \"price\" you should consider when choosing to have a second child. Secondly, if you are a professional woman, instead of spending your emotions on jealousy, you should think about how to effectively manage your time to improve your work engagement and how to improve your irreplaceability. If you are very good and strong, you would like to life must step up, then the future of the family and career is bound to have a need to balance the part. Then, next, you need to learn to manage your time well, improve your work commitment, the company is supposed to be a rational entity, you contribute more will naturally get a greater return. There is also, is to enhance your irreplaceability, what circumstances will the high position in your second child after giving birth to still leave you, must be you have irreplaceable role in the company. From this perspective, you are not being competed down by her, you are being competed down by your own replaceability. Finally, if you do not demand much from your career and want to focus more on your family in the future, then adjust your mindset. Every choice has a price, and the other person is paying the price of possibly not having more time to take care of the family or have a close relationship, and you need to pay the price for your own choices as well. Sometimes you can't face her because you can't face yourself~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Do you have my pity? Recently, the department position vacant a, the result of the leadership within a other section, or I back into the unit, open a democratic recommendation meeting, this kind of meeting you know, are already candidates within the decision, I was still called to participate in the meeting of the personnel, that is to say, I have to recommend that at the meeting that he, you say that the personnel department is disgusting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16915
       },
       {
        "question": "Want to stop going to school, want to get seriously ill, have no feeling for life, feel better about dying?",
        "description": "Now I have lost the feeling of life, can be sad or happy, can be tense or relaxed, but my heart is to feel that living is meaningless, want to escape from the world, want not to go to school, no longer for these and those who suffer. Living has no flavor, always thinking about life, but always think do not understand the meaning of it, feel very boring. I want to end it all as soon as possible, I want to get seriously ill, I want to have an accident, I want to be victimized. On the side of the family either said I was too much stress or lazy, but I never knew what stress is exactly where, what is the feeling. Life is still colorful, there is wanting to keep it, but just thinking about it, it doesn't even matter. It's very boring, think either change or zisha. i know i'm stupid, strange and unaware.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, avoidance, confusion, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject you say, life is colorful, you can be sad, can also be happy, so, I think, your life is not really so monotonous boring boring, just because you have not found the meaning of life, so may feel that everything is very empty. You are still in school, should not be too old, I think, when the age of small, in fact, do not need too much to think about the meaning of life and so on. Because, when you are small, the things you have experienced are still very limited, and your knowledge of this society is also very limited, so it is actually very difficult to think clearly about the meaning of life. What is the meaning of living? I think it is not something that is thought out, but something that is experienced. When you have experienced enough things, and have enough insights into life, when you are doing something, there may be some moments when you will feel: maybe so-and-so thing, is the meaning of my life. You are still young, even if you feel that life is boring, is it possible to plan your future life, think about how the life, is what you want, is interesting? Then, work hard towards your expectations. Don't be in a hurry, just take your time to experience life, take your time to realize, maybe one day, the answer to the meaning of life, naturally presents itself. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20321
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if I am a senior in high school and have been depressed for almost two weeks and it is affecting my parents emotionally?",
        "description": "16 years old, because of the complexity of human relationships for various reasons, they become very depressed, it is difficult to fall asleep at night, basically two or three to five will wake up naturally, a whole day of listlessness to do what feel so tired, always inexplicably sad and want to cry, there is no reason without warning, a burst of sadness, just want to fall tears, and parents said also do not understand, think they are very pretentious, but also affect the parents of the mood of all kinds of, I do not understand, I think I'm very tired. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject Hello 16 year old you are probably still at school, or maybe your life is not just about school, but also about something more exciting in your family and society. You meet a lot of people, teachers, classmates, friends, family members, relatives, etc., and all the issues that you didn't seem to have to worry about, or didn't notice before, are now taking up a large part of your mental space. And these problems cause your emotional ups and downs, which in turn affect your life and studies and family relationships. First of all you are able to perceive these states very well, which I think is a good sign, thinking back to some of the problems and emotions I encountered when I was 16 years old, I was sometimes in a state of immersion that I couldn't pull myself out of and didn't realize it. It kind of sucked too. So having perceived this layer, what can we do about it? First of all, there are definitely some realities that need to be addressed, some interpersonal issues that you have at the moment. The subject didn't specifically mention this in the description, so I can't give any further advice. However, if you are experiencing these problems, you can still turn to some trusted friends, teachers or family members, who may have more experience or ability to help you solve or help you understand those problems than you do at 16 years old. Resolving these confusions you will be the first step to get some relief from your own mind. So take action first. Secondly, the wanting to cry, the depression, the insomnia, the strained relationship with your parents caused by these real problems. It's all a form of self-defense against the problems you're experiencing, problems that are temporarily or currently beyond your ability to solve and understand. This is a state that anyone encounters when growing up. When we encounter such a state, we can see it as an opportunity for us to grow upward, through learning, communication to learn to deal with the problem and to see the world to enhance the thinking. Sometimes you can see the other side of the problem, hidden behind the problem of the other side and the opportunity to bring you may be a candy, rather than cause you the current difficulties of the permanent roadblock. Again, some problems may not be solved overnight, but your every day life doesn't need to be completely filled with these problems that can't be solved. Get out and exercise, focus on the things you love in your life, and enjoy the happy side of life. Let some things, problems stop there and maybe one day these problems and things will dissipate or become different? Look forward to it. Three tips, I hope they help the subject.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22060
       },
       {
        "question": "I've always been unmotivated to work lately.",
        "description": "Recently, I am always unmotivated to work, what should I do? This year's epidemic is not very busy, there is no kind of very busy working condition, can not work a few hours a day is not very passionate about work.",
        "keywords": "Occupational, work fatigue",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! This year's sudden epidemic, the whole world has received a great impact, the side effects of the epidemic is even more terrible, the world's economy has received a ripple effect, due to the proper control measures in our country, although the epidemic has been brought under control, but all walks of life have been affected to varying degrees, orders reduced, lower profits, factories shut down, lower incomes, and other phenomena abound. The subject of the industry must have also been affected to some extent, in the absence of staff position increase or decrease, the workload will certainly be reduced accordingly, the free time will be more, a period of time may have nothing to do, such a situation violently appeared, as opposed to the previous year's work situation, will certainly make us at a loss for words. Where is the gap between people? The gap is not in the eight hours, but outside the eight hours of time, the utilization of time after work, determines the size of the gap between people. If the subject has more free time, you can consider using this time to learn to improve, or take a qualification, etc., are helpful to their future careers. When the epidemic is over, there will be a large number of new forces, the old working order to have an impact, then only know how to keep up with the times, know that never-ending learning can be invincible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16945
       },
       {
        "question": "I've been isolated and bullied by my entire class and feel like there's no point in living anymore ......",
        "description": "Everyone bullies me, I feel or nothing anymore, they call me names, bully me, insult me.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Conflicts, Housemates and Classmates, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"#A Word to the Disillusioned #Have you ever had the experience of hosting a memory to an object? For example, this great memory, hosted to a ticket. Save this ticket and when you see it later, you will recall those days. You can also seal bad memories onto an object, such as a small glass bottle, write down the incident, put it into the bottle and write 'Open it again on November 25, 2029' with an oil-based pen.",
          "has_label": true,
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           },
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            "start": 72,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10212
       },
       {
        "question": "How does a 19-year-old girl, inexplicably plagued by negativity, live in the moment?",
        "description": "I have been inexplicably plagued by some negative emotions in recent days, and I always like to worry about possible and impossible things in the future, such as the fear of the death of my parents, the death of my future partner, and I especially love to read novels, but I always think about whether I will have no novels to read in case this novel software goes bankrupt or closes down, which makes me really worried. How to live in the moment",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depression, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hello subject here to give you a hugSeeing the subject's question, you can see that your problem has already had a great impact on you, and a certain amount of anxiety for you as a Pisces, I personally also love fantasy, the brain hole is also relatively large, and I would have thought about the future possible things and impossible thingsI went to college at school, because at school is more free, the holidays and vacations I also do not like to I either went out to play or stayed at school to do part-time work. When I didn't go home for a long time, I had a dream that my family had passed away, and my whole body was bad. Although I reassured myself that the dreams were all the opposite, I still worried all morning. In order to be able to keep myself from being anxious, I sent a message to my family about the dream and finally got a reply from them, giving myself a piece of mind. The subject said that she likes to read novels, but always thinks about what will happen if this novel software goes out of business. Will I have no more novels to read? This question is actually superior in this day and age. This novel software closes down, there will be countless new novel software out, the novel author will also go to find a new platform to write novels, because this is his channel to earn money. You can keep yourself busy Sometimes not being busy will always make people ramble, think of some inexplicable things, and finally give yourself troubles. When a person is busy, there is not that mind to think about some other things, only think about what else needs to be busy, and what will not be missed. Let their brain hole into the advantages of the subject in life may think of more things, then you can put this on the work, life. For example, at work, there are any follow-up questions that can be thought of ahead of time to prepare for this work and make the after work go smoothly. The subject is 19 years old, should still be a student, can also write their own brain hole into a novel, can also relieve their inner emotions. The subject likes to read novels, then their own brain can also write novels, those strange ideas of their own unfolding into a story, maybe write to the back also earned money, why not. The above is my advice, I hope to be able to help you good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see the words and give you a warm hug, I can see that the owner has been thinking a lot more lately and is more overly worried. But the owner says it's the last few days, did you used to think so much? Or just the last few days? If it is only the last few days, the owner can think about whether it is because recently encountered something, or in the study of too much pressure, resulting in low mood, overthinking. --Once I was like the owner, I will often think about things that have not happened yet: when I was in school, I worried about what to do if my classmates did not get along well with me, or what to do if my teachers did not like me. When I was working, I worried about what I would do if I didn't do a good enough job. When you get to the age of love, you worry that no one likes you. Or two people have no possibility, he will not be good to me how to do ...... This is because not enough to fulfill, think too much. There is time to read more books, improve self when the study of empty time, you can look at their favorite books, in the books to learn knowledge, improve self. Adhere to the movement of overthinking can be more exercise to release the pressure. Exercise can not only promote blood circulation, release pressure, but also improve the mood, enhance physical fitness. Develop hobbies, find something you like to do. In your free time, you can think about what you like to do, regardless of whether it can do well enough, just think about whether you like. People, think of danger can be, but not \"worry about the sky\".",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! I have carefully read your question and I can feel your distress between the lines, giving you a hard hug hoping my answer will help you. The questioner's problem right now is that you often have negative emotions and think about bad things in the future that make you miserable. Two years ago, when my father was sick, I would also think a lot, think of my father's illness can be cured, if not how to do, etc., I was also very anxious, the more you do not allow yourself to think about their own have to think about. You can try a, don't think of themselves affected by negative emotions themselves the more they think of themselves has been negative impact, want to change, in fact, is to deepen the impact of negative emotions on their own, is once and for all to strengthen it, don't think of themselves will be affected by negative emotions, from the question learned that the subject is this period of time to do so, you'll be the same as before don't think about it, and slowly will fade away. Second, shift attention in their own thinking about the first signs of the time you can do some of their favorite things or chat with friends and family, so that they are busy, do not have the energy to think. Time long slowly get used to not think too much on it. Third, looking for reasons to produce more than thinking about the subject has mentioned is the most recent will be more than thinking about the subject can be considered because of what is always a bad direction to think about, easy to find the cause of the symptomatic treatment. I hope you get rid of the pain soon, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah friend, let's drink a cup of tea to calm down, look at the text, I hope my answer can help you ~ \uff5bFrom the text, your concern is probably reflected in two aspects: one is \"old age, sickness and death\", and the second is not necessarily happen to envision. On the first point - \"old age, sickness and death\" is actually a very natural process that is bound to happen. No matter how much pain you feel from the idea of the process, it is difficult to change. And in the second point, which is \"Fiction Software Breaking Factory\", if it is not operating poorly, then you are carrying out this vision, and the reality will not be easy for you to change. We can find that you are envisioning on things that are not happening, that are not necessarily happening, and they all tend to be negative. So I guess maybe you have a little bit of [negative thinking inertia] in this area, and it could be brought on by your experiences growing up and the feedback of your ego thoughts that you have when you meet them. That's something that you can think about as to what it is that you've built up a little bit of that mindset, and it's something that's going to be helpful in understanding and improving yourself. Now that you are aware that you have such a trait, you are reminded that you don't have to be sad and confused about it! If you always think the worst, you may be the one who has a greater sense of urgency and is able to put pressure on yourself, which helps you to organize your time properly and to be well prepared in advance of your tasks. In the case of excessive worrying about uncertainty, or even distressing situations, it is recommended that when the thought arises again, it can be reversed as soon as it arises: recognize that it is just a habitual thought, not a fact. }} The future is unknown and variable, we can be safe and secure, but also to respect the future and prepare, sweat, which is to say that we have control of the present, so in the face of blind anxiety, first go to see themselves, and then learn to regulate their own selves, which is to respect their own now, naturally, it should come, naturally, and then go to experience it!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner ~ the first thing you should do with your worry is to accept it ~ not resist it, the key is how to deal with the thank you emotion. Try breathing deeply and rhythmically. This helps your body get more oxygen and helps your muscles and brain relax. You can put your hand on your chest or stomach to help you pace yourself. Next, choose your own 'safe place', a place where you feel safe, comfortable and peaceful, be it the beach, a cabin or your current home. Close your eyes and imagine that you are in that safe place right now, what do you hear? What do you see? What do you smell? What do you touch? Try to talk about these imagined sensations and breathe gently and slowly at the same time. I'm sure you can gradually return to your previous state ~ go for it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi~ You said that you've been plagued by negativity the last few days and don't know how to live in the present. Is it possible that something happened recently or you saw some reports or something like that, which made you so worried about the future and some impossible things? People's emotions may be affected by some life events, and sometimes they may be affected by movie and television productions, news reports, etc. We may have a sense of being vicariously involved, and sometimes it is inevitable that we will fall into that kind of negative emotion. If it is the latter, it is recommended to divert attention and read more positive energy and positive content. There are times when nothing happens, but you have such worries, and if the worries are occasional and soon disappear, then it will be better. If those worries always come up, it does bother you quite a bit. In this 2020 with many black swan events, live your every day well and cherish the people in front of you. About how to live the present moment well? It is to pay more attention to the reality of what is happening, so that we focus on positive and sunny things, but also to communicate more with family and friends, or outdoor activities, so as to make our time full and keep ourselves busy. Although life is unpredictable, most people will be relatively smooth through life, cherish your life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12660
       },
       {
        "question": "Girl is 17 and while playing with her best friend she kissed her and felt disgusting?",
        "description": "We are very close and just when we were playing she kissed me on the mouth a little bit, it made me feel sick and now when I think back on it, there is a little bit of revulsion, what's wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Friends, Interpersonal Boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject. While you were hanging out with your girlfriends, the other person kissed you on the mouth a little bit, which made you feel disgusted, and now when you think about it you feel disgusted and find it hard to accept. Most people can't accept that there is kissing behavior with the same sex, and I think this is a relatively normal situation. The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy view of psychology states that emotions arise not because of the event itself, but the way a person perceives the event. So we also find that different people have different attitudes and feelings towards the same event. In the case of being kissed on the mouth by a friend of the same sex, most people's view of the event might be, \"Same-sex and this kind of behavior is wrong and shameful.\" A deeper thought might be, \"The other person is dirty.\" So feelings of disgust can arise. Imagine if it is a person of the opposite sex, whom one desires, who has the behavior of kissing oneself, then one will certainly not develop the feeling of disgust and resistance. This is because one would interpret such behavior of the other person as meaning that the other person adores him or her and that he or she is loved. This kind of behavior between people of the same sex will be interpreted as: one is not respected and one is violated by the other person. In the other person's view, perhaps the other person is also expressing his or her own meaning of liking and wanting to be close to him or her, only that the behavior used by the other person is kissing, a kind of behavior that is not accepted by the general public as an expression of liking between people of the same sex. When you feel uncomfortable and unacceptable, it is possible to express your feelings to the other person. You can talk to the other person about your inability to accept such intimate physical contact between people of the same sex. You can also listen to the intention behind the behavior. You can talk to your girlfriends about how you can better express your feelings for each other in the course of your relationship. For example, you can express your feelings verbally, by giving small gifts, etc. Everyone has their own way of expressing their feelings. Everyone has their own way of expressing their feelings, and maybe there's no right or wrong way to do it. But everyone has their own boundaries, not just mental boundaries, but physical boundaries as well. When we feel our boundaries are violated by others, we need to defend them in an appropriate way. Relationships are a back-and-forth process, and we need to communicate openly with each other so that we can slowly learn about each other's preferences and boundaries. You can also use a small tool in the rational emotional therapy to improve such emotions, this small tool is called \"RET self-help table\", also known as \"three-column table\". This tool is called the \"RET Self-Help Sheet\", also known as the \"Three-Column Sheet\", which is a list of events that happened, the emotional feelings they brought you, and all of your opinions and beliefs about them. After you've done this, you can review each of your beliefs to see if they are all reasonable. For example, one of the beliefs we might have about this incident is, \"She kissed me, she's a lesbian.\" We can question that belief a little bit, does that really make her a lesbian? Eventually we will realize that many of our beliefs are untenable. When beliefs are loosened, one's resulting emotions improve. These are my answers and I hope they help you. Blessings to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi Subject ~ Your best friend gave you a kiss and you felt disgusted, check out the following two reasons why personal boundaries are broken. We slowly find and establish our boundaries as we grow up. Physical boundaries refer to your acceptance of social distance from others. Even with closer people, we maintain a distance that makes us feel comfortable. This distance may shorten when we are sad and need comfort, such as a desire for a hug. It may also change with age. What was your pattern of getting along like a few years ago? Is it possible that a recent increase in personal awareness has made you not want to be overly intimate with others? But your BFF broke that boundary when you didn't expect or need to, so it made you feel disrespected and created disgust. Seventeen is the time when self-identity is being formed and your own gender identity is becoming more apparent. Adolescent girls are emotionally sensitive and, in the context of society, may think that kissing is a gesture between lovers to express their love. Too intimate physical behavior between women will make them not want to be misunderstood by others, afraid that their girlfriends are not \"unintentional kisses\", but also refuse to go in this direction. This can also lead to psychological aversion. Be clear about your social distance and express your feelings when you feel uncomfortable. It's also a good idea to observe what your best friend's personal boundaries look like. Does she exhibit this same behavior when she's around others? The closer people are, the easier it is to cross the boundaries between them. Mutual respect can minimize misunderstandings and maintain a longer lasting friendship ~ good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"We are friends who are as close as one, and at the same time we are two separate people.\" Imagine that everyone has their own house, set in a garden with a beautiful fence around the edge. This is \"my space\" and the fence is \"my boundary\". Within the boundary, you feel safe and comfortable, free to socialize with others while protecting yourself. Boundaries are also formed slowly during the process of growth, and self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, self-awareness, etc. are all related, which is an inevitable process of [independence] and [separation] in the process of growth. When someone intrudes into your garden, you will naturally feel uncomfortable, perhaps the feeling of being invaded and spied upon, or the feeling of being out of control. It is always uncomfortable. Be brave and say [no] yah, show your attitude, show your boundaries. Say no.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 465
       },
       {
        "question": "21st Bowling Green student, feeling like the results aren't as good as you'd like them to be, and it's hard to lose motivation in life?",
        "description": "Recently, the work of graduate school has just ended, I feel that the results of their own graduate school is the worst kind of results, the previous efforts have been wasted, the tutor did not choose the preferred, the direction of the study also do not like, and do not dare to propose to give up graduate school to go to graduate school, feel that the next four years to live with no hope, all day long muddle, no motivation, do not want to study and do not want to eat, it's very difficult. At night, I have insomnia and can't sleep, and I want to start all over again. How can I convince myself to adapt to the moment and revitalize myself?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Work-Study, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, let's analyze it together. The guaranteed job is over and it turned out to be the worst you've ever felt, you didn't like your mentor, you didn't like the direction of your research, and you're afraid to give up and go to grad school. Indeed it sounds bad and hard to accept. Yes, there are just a lot of things in life where you try hard and the result is not to your satisfaction. Whether we try hard or not is something we can control, and how it turns out is unknown and not determined by our hopes. Life is not as good as we would like it to be. So what to do? We often say that there are two sides of the same coin, things have bad and good sides, we need to find the positive side of the status quo, adjust our cognition, and pull ourselves out of the negative thinking. If you choose to bail out of graduate school, you have to accept the tutor and direction, but you can also study the direction you like, take the classes you like, even if it's just to sit in on a class, publish a paper, as long as you are willing to, you can still take advantage of graduate school in the school of the time, do what you like to do. If you give up on graduate school and go to grad school. It's also possible to get into your favorite program, or not. You can analyze the pros and cons of the different outcomes and make a choice. Allow yourself to be dissatisfied with the status quo, see that the mind does not necessarily succeed, there is no perfect thing exists, allow yourself to be depressed for a while, and then find out the resources around you, utilize the time for graduate school, do what you want to do. Adjust your mindset first, then do something.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner of ah ~ very understand your feelings, can feel your disappointment and sadness, the owner after a lot of hard work, did not get satisfied with the results of graduate school. For the current tutor and the direction of research is not interested in, think the future is hopeless, but do not dare to give up graduate school to go to graduate school, so the heart into a tangle. The matter of graduate school is the same as many ordinary things we usually experience, not all things will turn out as we wish, life will always have accidents and blows. The key lies in what kind of mindset we face, setbacks can sometimes be a turnaround, the owner said that he did not like the current direction of research, then you have really understand this direction, because you really do not like it, or because this direction is not the direction he chose before? The owner also said that he wanted to give up graduate school to go to graduate school but did not dare to put forward, the owner is not worried about the risk that may exist, and the future need to pay more efforts, and the results are also uncertain. Some suggestions] learn to accept, everything is the best arrangement of life experience will leave us valuable experience, try to accept everything encountered, maybe now is not what they expect, but this may be the best arrangement. Allow yourself to slowly integrate into the new environment, keep a good mindset, perhaps what is coming will surprise you. In-depth understanding of the current teachers and research direction because the heart of the other teachers and the direction of too much expectation, so once the results are not what you want, it will be difficult to accept for a moment. The owner can learn more about the tutors and research direction of the graduate school, perhaps you will change your original idea, and slowly become interested. Give yourself a period of time to adapt to the owner can advance to the tutor to study for a period of time, so that they slowly adapt to, if you still do not like or even more disgusted, according to the situation and then make a choice. Graduate school can also apply for a change of supervisor, or what is the owner's goal of graduate school, whether you want to engage in scientific research or hope to improve their qualifications, if it is scientific research, then you can also change the direction of the doctoral stage. Wish the owner can get rid of the trouble soon~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, after reading your description, I can feel your inner frustration. Give you a big hug ~ \ufe0fFrom the description of the subject, I probably summarized the following: \ufe0fThe results of the guaranteed research make the subject feel very dissatisfied, did not choose the preferred tutor, and the direction of research is not their favorite. \ufe0fWhen I think of the current situation, I can't sleep at night, I can't eat well during the day, it's very difficult. Trying to convince myself to adapt to the moment and revitalize. \ufe0f Combined with the description of the subject, let me share my opinion: every experience in life is a harvest. From childhood to adulthood, we can't count what we have experienced, but there are one or two experiences that we will always remember, may be the college entrance examination, may be the examination or graduate school, and so on. In fact, if we think about it carefully, the most important thing for us is not the result but the process of each memorable experience. We can summarize the experience and gain from the result. Whether the result is good or bad for us, it is a valuable asset in our life. Life is all about survival. Under normal conditions, we want to survive better. Whether it is an increase in income, or a good love, or a happy family. All of these are for our own better survival. And to survive well, we need to experience the reality of the test, and can deal with the difficulties encountered. This time, it is the test that reality gives to our subject, and it is a chance to improve our ability to survive. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6825
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if I feel that I have a rather deep inferiority complex?",
        "description": "Self-confessed low self-esteem is mainly related to their own experience of the feeling of success, because the memory is often flashing their own a small highlights of the moment, is the junior high school exams that year their own struggles, in order to get into the focus of the high school, every day hard work and in order to get good at sports exams, and insist on exercising a year a day, every time I think about it I feel very admired myself, although I did not get into the focus of the exams, but I feel that the struggle of the Although I didn't get into a major school, I felt that the feeling of struggle was something I couldn't forget. But after high school, to be honest, there are learning methods and efforts as well as a bit of anorexia after the results of the test is not good, high school grades are poor, the college entrance examination is not good, repeat a year or did not test well. On a college that does not like to learn a specialty that you do not want to learn. At that time, I was also unconvinced to enroll in a specialized college, and the result was still not down. Finished self-realization, and then say the physical, is walking shaking, they are still always changing, others always say I walk posture ugly, from junior high school has been until now, because from junior high school to post-secondary school, are with the academic I myself is not too serious about my body shaking, but now I graduated from the college, nursing, this year, just put the nurse qualification examination, not employment, now feel that all aspects of myself are not as good as others. The teachers said I should how to regain self-confidence.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, thanks for the invitation. One thing that's kind of interesting that I've noticed more than once in my life is that even the most confident people have an inferiority complex part in them. There are those who will set a very high goal to give themselves false hope to hide their low self-esteem, and there are those who will avoid low self-esteem by putting all sorts of obstacles in the way of their success and pretending that they are intentionally not trying. If you're experiencing d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu, it may indicate that you're experiencing some of the difficulties that ordinary people experience. The point I want to make today is not how to help you get rid of your low self-esteem, but what we do with our low self-esteem. The first step, of course, is to realize that its existence is a normal thing, and to be able to face up to and accept that existence. Secondly, I would like to recommend the book \"Micro Habits\" by Stephen Gass to you. In it, he suggests that we reverse the overly high and unattainable goals we set and simplify them into very small micro-habits that we won't fail in doing. For example, if you read a book, change your plan of \"reading an hour a day\" to \"reading a page at a time\" or even \"reading a paragraph at a time\", or change your plan of \"working out for an hour a day\" to \"working out for an hour a day\". work out for an hour a day\" to \"work out for five minutes a day\" or even \"work out for one minute a day\", this is the practice of micro-habit. A paragraph read down, continue to a page, two pages to do, may not realize that a book is finished; a minute to do, continue to five minutes, ten minutes to move forward, may not realize that the completion of an hour. Once you take the first step, you will become more and more confident to take more steps. As you continue to accomplish your plans and even go beyond what you set out to do, you will become more and more confident. Think about what you want to achieve right now, how you can break it down into a micro-habit that's very easy to achieve, and then do it a little bit at a time for a week to see if you make a difference. I look forward to your feedback.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3508
       },
       {
        "question": "The fear and repression that comes after hating or hating someone?",
        "description": "Why but when I hate or hate a person after all will produce fear and repression of the mind, and even began to fear to see this person afraid to get along with her, fear of the feeling is very uncomfortable, chest congestion, so that I am very painful, why is my hate by a power to suppress the inability to express, but instead replaced by fear of the gallows heart. Why? This makes me fearful of relationships because I don't know what kind of people I'll meet, and if it's someone I particularly hate, I can't help but experience the agony of fearful repression... Do I have some kind of disease? Am I mentally unhealthy?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Stress, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject in life it is inevitable to meet hateful people to make themselves feel uncomfortable, just you talk about the word hate, I don't know what kind of harm you have experienced to have such strong emotions. You said that seeing hateful people will be fearful, afraid, this is a normal reaction of self-protection, people as animals face harm, instinctive fear produces action, or flee or attack, you choose the former. Accept that you will behave the way you do, and at the same time ask yourself what kind of thing would cause you to act in this level of self-preservation, is it because of a stress reaction to a former injury that left its mark on your body, or is it that you are overly misinterpreting the reactions of others. If I say that everyone comes along to help us grow, maybe you can't accept that. That makes you feel hurt because one expects something from the outside and someone resorts to hurting. Let's take back our power by learning to forgive. Are you willing to believe that even though you don't? If I say that other people are mirrors of yourself, and that what you hate about other people is what you don't accept about yourself, what you need to be seen by the light inside, and that what you resist hating is all part of yourself, it's natural to repress it and not want to face it. Believe it or not, it's a growing process. If it's harder to let go of judgment of others, allow the judgment to exist. At the same time change yourself, start with yourself first, do more of what you like, you will be in the energy boost, not be influenced by others, and will naturally be open to all kinds of relationships. Good luck returning to your heart and being yourself.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 117,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 194,
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           },
           {
            "start": 253,
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           },
           {
            "start": 271,
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           },
           {
            "start": 377,
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           },
           {
            "start": 447,
            "end": 455,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject is good, society is very easy to judge people, things, things, good and bad, right and wrong, love and hate, good and evil, etc., and all good, right, love and kindness are chased by people, is good, only accept the bright side, refused to recognize the dark side, as if it does not exist without recognition. Therefore, when the bad emotions, the feeling of not being liked by the society comes out, the first reaction most people take is to repress and deny it, but those bad emotions are pressed into the psyche, but does that mean that those emotions don't exist anymore? The answer is no, psychoanalytic theory school, our consciousness is divided into conscious and subconscious, those we repressed the nasty emotions are just pressed to the subconscious part of our consciousness, not aware of this emotion, but this emotion is integrated into the subconscious affecting us in every aspect. I once heard a teacher share her experience that she hated oranges so much that she couldn't smell them and didn't like the color orange. She couldn't figure out why, she just didn't like it. Then she discovered, after some exploration, that there was a childhood experience when exam results had just been issued and she came home and there were oranges on the table, so she peeled them herself, and halfway through eating them she saw her dad coming home, so she handed her dad the paper for him to sign. But when Dad saw the report card, he beat her up. Later, she associated oranges with bad memories, and seeing them put her in a bad mood. It wasn't until she saw the experience that she realized why she didn't like oranges. Re-digging up the parts that used to be hidden in the subconscious mind to the conscious level. Once she realized it, she stopped rejecting oranges. [After I hate or hate a person, I have fear and repression, and I even begin to be afraid to see this person afraid to get along with her, and the feeling of fear is very hard, my chest is clogged, and it makes me suffer, why my hate is suppressed by a force that cannot be expressed, but instead replaced by a fearful and bilious heart.] If hate is linked to repression and fear, wanting to hate but being suppressed, in the long run, it is like an unknown habit. And now that you've seen this connection, it's all up to you as to whether or not you want to resolve to break the connection and allow the emotion of hate to emerge. Best wishes Karen!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How old is the owner? What does it remind you of when you meet someone you hate or dislike? Psychologically speaking, the reason for such a strong reaction is that you have had such a situation in your past life experiences (mostly early childhood) and your body has left a deep memory of it. At that time, you did not have the ability or resources to cope with the situation, so you had to let your body feel the torment. Now, even though time has passed and you may have suppressed the event and cannot remember it, the body's memory is naturally awakened whenever you encounter this situation. The fact that the owner is now aware of this means that the owner has the ability to do something about it. Indeed, you are no longer the same \"little you\" you were back then. When you encounter this situation, try to allow yourself to stay in fear and hate for a while, and then sort out what it is that you hate and fear. Why do you hate and fear so much? If you hate it so much, why are you suppressing yourself from expressing it? What would you do if you didn't repress yourself? Allow yourself to be brave enough to imagine it, or you can express it in words. Seek the help of a counselor as well. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your account, usually a strong emotion to dislike or hate someone is disgust contempt or anger. And what you are generating is a fearfulness. I'm not sure if I'm understanding it correctly in this next way. Behind the fear of someone who is more loathsome or has hateful feelings is some kind of relational mismatch. For example, this state where the other person appears to be quite powerful and unfriendly to you. And you yourself feel that you are not that strong to change things. If one is in this state, then one will choose to avoid reacting. There is another situation where your cognitive framework defines the other person as a persona that you can't accept, and the other person is relatively strong. You can neither hide nor change, and this situation also creates umm more conflicting emotions. Sometimes you feel like you don't exactly fear that person, but it just makes you uncomfortable and a bit complicated. Because sometimes you can make yourself inexplicably in a state of tension, will trigger the emotion of fear, in fact, itself may not be fear, just because of their own muscles, including some mental tension will bring out this feeling, you yourself to experience it. Therefore, you want to lift the fear of emotion, or to a large extent to alleviate the fear into the degree in advance to do a muscle tension, relaxation exercises, this exercise is relatively simple, is to inhale a deep breath, and then hold, so that their muscles are completely in a tense state, until they can not hold their own breath until they can't hold it, so that they can completely relax, about to do 2 ~ 3 times your body will be in a state of relaxation. The body's response will also be a great comfort to yourself on a psychological level. You can experience it first while socializing and see how it works.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When you tell yourself to go into a state of fear or hate of a person, you can avoid socializing with that person? Or do you have more specific manifestations? Like stinky faces? Souring the other person on purpose? Running away when you see the other person? When did you realize you had this skill? What happened then? Did you talk to your parents about it? Did they have any opinion?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8350
       },
       {
        "question": "16 years old, been with my boyfriend for 3 years and realized that the three views don't match?",
        "description": "I'm 16 years old, I know at our age to fall in love is not supposed to, but I think we are the exception before, I'm very yearning for a relationship from childhood to adulthood, I've been with him for 3 years in the middle of the experience of so much, but I found that I don't love him much, I feel that we are not compatible with the three outlooks, he doesn't want to have a child, and he's still very immature, very irresponsible, I would like to break up with him, but it is very not down to the heart, I can't do anything! I want to break up with him, but I can't help it. What should I do? I'm so confused. ......",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Codependent Attachment, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You're 16 and have been in a relationship for three years, so you've been together since you were 13, right? This seems like a friendship type of relationship, where the two of you are there for each other, share happiness together, and should know each other very well as well. Honestly, whether you're 13 or 16, that's still not a very old age, being in the immature stage of knowing oneself and the world, with many perceptions, thoughts, ideas and emotions still going through various changes. This age also coincides with adolescence in the eight stages of Erikson's theory of lifelong development, in the midst of a conflict between self-identity and role confusion. Because they are facing new perceptions and demands from society and are growing rapidly themselves, they are prone to distress and confusion about their self-perceptions. This state will continue into adulthood. Your outlook on life, worldview and values will gradually take shape at this stage. Maturity and a sense of responsibility need to be continuously cultivated and formed in this process. On the day you reach maturity, you will be considered grown-ups and will have more mature ideas about this society, your life goals and development direction. And there will be many unknown changes and challenges waiting for you to experience and try in the future. Maybe you and he are not mature enough to think about many things now, and it is hard to guarantee that there will be any changes and changes in the future. In the case of self-knowledge and self-worth are not yet a mature and comprehensive cognition, in the case of not yet clear their social role and life positioning, and how to talk about what the three outlooks do not fit, responsible or irresponsible? Therefore, it seems a bit too early to conclude that we are not compatible and start talking about and deciding on your life and relationship ten years from now. You might as well continue to date without having to think so far in advance about the problems you will need to face and solve in the distant future. There may be many changes and situations in the process, he will continue to grow and mature, you will also have many new perceptions and ideas, and there may be other characters appear. At the same time, you should continue to study well, improve your personal ability level and vision, so that your thinking and cognition will gradually improve and mature. You can also go to meet more friends, understand the world's many different personality traits of people, perhaps even meet more suitable for you. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4915
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do to relieve a 22 year old boy who gets nervous easily and has a rapid heart rate when things go wrong?",
        "description": "I didn't notice much before, but since I found out that my blood pressure and heart rate were too fast when I measured my blood pressure and electrocardiogram during my high school physical examination, my blood pressure and heart rate were always too fast every time I had a physical examination, and my heart rate reached one hundred and six when I measured it at the highest point. But I usually run and exercise, the usual heart rate on the smart watch is between 65-85, which is normal, but go to the hospital physical examination somehow very high? Mental quality is too poor, usually encounter things will be a little nervous, but always be able to solve things, did not affect the normal friendship and life. But I can't get through the medical checkup, is this the nervousness mental disorder mentioned on the internet?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner~ I checked the DSM-5 mental disorder book and there is no such condition as 'Catatonic Psychological Disorder' in it, so the owner can rest assured. Your accelerated heart rate only occurs in the process of medical examination, the behavior does not generalize to other things, when life encounters stressful things can also be resolved through their own efforts, which indicates that your such psychological standards have not yet developed into serious psychological problems, so the owner does not need to worry too much. Based on this, I give you a few tips: 1, go to a professional hospital for heart and other professional examination, to determine that there is no physiological problems. Sometimes physiological problems can also trigger the rapid heartbeat and other situations, where to determine the psychological problems must be ruled out before such cases. 2, learn a few relaxation techniques. For example, breathing relaxation, listening to music and meditation. You can breathe to relieve stress and urgency when you are experiencing something stressful, or listen to music or meditate to relax your body.3, self-awareness: sense your own tension and experience what causes it. There is no factor that will make you not difficult to be nervous, find the cause of tension, face it, solve it, do not be afraid of him. Sometimes you may be nervous not only from the thing itself, but also because of the unknown nature of the occurrence of that tension. Feeling nervous because of the unknown. These are my analysis and suggestions, I hope they help you! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14692
       },
       {
        "question": "14 year old girl and I'm getting bored with my mother?",
        "description": "14 years old, girl My mother always touched my body with her feet and I resented it very much. As time went on, I became tired of her reprimands and ate my meals at a distance. But it is clear that they said to tell me not to talk while I eat, so why is it that I don't say a word and they turn on me instead?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~Before I start answering your questions. Let me give you a hug first (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Here are a few of my suggestions: first of all. You mentioned that your mother always touches you with her feet, which is very offensive to you. Regarding this, these few would like to ask if you have communicated with your mother about your feelings regarding this matter and clearly expressed your revulsion? If not, here is a sentence pattern that might help you to go and start communicating with your mother, \"Mom, I feel very uncomfortable when you use your feet to touch me (the other person's behavior) (your own specific feelings, and add the reasons why if you can), can you stop doing that to me afterward (what you want the other person to do)? \" Also, the subject may need to pay attention to the emotions involved in the communication, if it's determined that it's going to be communicated, it means that they're ready to have a calm talk with their mother. It's just that when I was 14 or 15 years old, I used to get into fights with my parents at the drop of a hat. If you don't have such a situation, you can ignore it because if you argue, your parents may have been willing to listen to you and respect you, but after arguing, they may feel that their authority is being questioned, and they may feel that they are just touching you a little bit, and as for arguing, it will be counterproductive in the end \u00ac_\u00ac\uff40Secondly, if your mother still violates your personal boundaries in such a way after communicating with you, you can continue to assert yourself firmly. Secondly, if the mother still violates your personal boundaries after communication, I think the subject can continue to be assertive until the mother realizes that she is violating your boundaries and changes her behavior. Lastly, you mentioned that you were annoyed with your mother and that \"they told me not to talk while I was eating, so why did I turn them against me by not saying a word?\" . I think that your parents' resentment towards you may not be because you don't talk at dinner, but because they sense that you don't talk now not because you originally wanted to eat and sleep without talking, but because you resent them. Adolescence itself is a period of self-awareness awakening, parents want to control their children, and children want to live for themselves, so this period often erupts a lot of conflict. I think the subject in a similar situation later, in addition to learning to firmly defend their own boundaries in the relationship, but also to learn to use appropriate methods to defend, appropriate methods in addition to helping to reduce the conflict with parents, but also to promote the parents to recognize your growth and change, and more to speak of you as an independent individual to look at. So here to the subject recommended a book \"nonviolent communication\" to help you and your parents to communicate better, perhaps in the initial practice, you will feel that only their own in the change, while the parents did not change at all. On this point, the subject does not need to worry, I believe that your positive changes will also slowly affect the people around you, go.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 11549
       },
       {
        "question": "Relationship with a guy you're very attracted to and keep feeling indebted to him in your heart?",
        "description": "A long time ago because of various reasons, my life is very chaotic I feel very annoyed even lost the courage to live, and then I met a boy, he was very gentle with me, very patient, is that I have not experienced love before, I am very tolerant of me, get along with half a year, from ordinary friends to the \"girlfriends\" to the current ambiguous relationship, we go out hand in hand shopping and eating, just like lovers, he said he would accompany me through this difficult time to become lovers. We go out hand in hand shopping and eating, just like lovers, I also told him that when I get through this unsatisfactory days to become lovers, he said he would accompany me through this difficult time. But my heart has always felt indebted to him, I do not think I did not do anything, but he said that I did those things have a great impact on him or help, but I just always have an indescribable feeling in my heart, I'm very dependent on him, I'm afraid that he apologized, I'm afraid that he was angry, I'm afraid that he will leave me (although he has comforted me time and time again), including buying gifts for him, I try to buy expensive, I do not know why, I always feel that the cheap ones, I'm not sure that I'll buy the cheap ones. I don't know why, but I always feel that the cheap ones are too expensive for me... This state of mine is affecting me and him, I don't know what to do to adjust myself, I hope I can get some advice for me or my future boyfriend!",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Codependent Attachment, Relationship Management, Good Feelings",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your question, I can feel your inner feelings about this matter, in this relationship, you can be responsible for each other, have a good commitment, and your boyfriend is also giving you spiritual encouragement and support, but for the current you, for some reasons can not be established with him for the time being the relationship, this kind of consideration is also a particularly rational choice. However, you feel a lot of guilt and self-blame in your relationship with him, and this feeling greatly affects your relationship with each other. Then, I would like to give you some inspiration and advice from the following aspects, I hope it will help you. We need to see the diversity of forms of \"feedback\" in a relationship. In the interaction of a relationship that has not yet been formalized, you feel that he has a lot of good things for you, but you have not been able to respond to his signals for a relationship, and so you blame yourself for the state of the relationship, making yourself feel guilty and self-blaming. In reality, you want to desperately try to ease the guilt in your heart by giving back materially, buying him gifts and also trying to buy expensive ones, but none of these ways seem to fully dissolve the guilt in your heart. In fact, we need to see that in any relationship, the input and output of emotions between each other are flowing in various ways. In your relationship, his good for you, reflected in the spirit of encouragement, comfort and companionship, it seems that in this process, only his payment, but not your payment. However, you for him, but also in the fulfillment of his inner companionship and comfort, as well as the spiritual level of the sense of value, for the boys, to be able to take good care of a girl, itself will feel their own sense of value as a boy. Therefore, you are actually exporting each other on two different levels, and you are important to him as well. When we realize this, we can actually see our own sense of value from another perspective, and you can also reflect on why you feel \"low value\" in intimate relationships, which will also help you in the future development of the relationship. Behind the feeling of guilt may be the extreme desire for emotional attachment] In intimate relationships, mutual emotional attachment is a very normal phenomenon, but the current you, especially afraid of worrying that they will lose their attachment to him, so in the subjective feeling, amplifying the sense of value of his attachment, in your subconscious, your sense of attachment to him is a very important existence, which makes themselves in the relationship will become their own. Feeling \"very humble\", so you want to make up for your own heart to his \"deficit\" through material reimbursement. In fact, for the sense of attachment, must be a kind of interdependent feelings, you feel the sense of attachment, for him, also feel the same inner attachment, only, the boys of this feeling expression of deep hidden in the heart. Therefore, for this kind of feeling, in fact, not divided into \"high and low\", this is a kind of equal feeling, but, because of their own in the subjective belief that they \"need him more\", will let you in the external behavior, excessive make \"Repayment behavior\", such as buying gifts, excessive groveling and so on. The above is an analysis of your current feelings, but when we have more awareness, we can look at our inner feelings in a different way. If awareness still can not let yourself completely relieved, it is recommended that you can express through the following ways: directly to him to express their inner feelings at the moment, help each other's acceptance and understanding, even if once again to buy gifts, will not make him feel that you are rejecting his love. Hand-made some meaningful things, such as a meal, a sweater, etc., to express the inner feelings do not lie in the gift of expensive, but their own pay. Accompanying him to accomplish something makes him feel valued, and at the same time is a way to make yourself feel a sense of value in the relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, hello there, first of all heartfelt hugs when I read your description. My dear, you remind me of a story. The story is about a boy who was beaten up as a child and his world view was filled with malice, one day a bunny saw him and it loved the little boy, but the boy took the kindness for malice, he thought he was unworthy of love a long time ago, so when confronted with the bunny's kindness he pushed it away, and over the top, he hurt the bunny. So, honey, you know what I'm going to say? When you hold on to your shortcomings, hold on to your guilt, hold on to your insecurities to spend time with someone who treats you well with all his heart, it's very unfair to him because he loves you with all his being while you love him with other emotions. Seeing your past experience, I hugged you heartily, dear friend, I'm sorry to see the bad news of your past, we say \"once bitten by a snake, ten years afraid of the brocade rope\", I guess after so many years, those things in the past make you hold on to them so much, it must be a very bad thing. However, my dear friend, we must separate the past from the present, please make it clear where your uneasiness, your guilt actually comes from, if it is from the past, there is no need, there is a philosophical point of view called \"sophistry\", although this theory has never been liked, but I would like to say that. The present you is the real you, and the past you is long gone, and all that's left of you is your memories. I understand your mentality very well, I think you have feelings for that boy but you are hesitating, you are afraid that he will leave, you are suffering, but the truth is, that boy doesn't think like that, dear girl, please be confident. You have to believe that you deserve to be loved. If you got hurt in the past, you got hurt, it's okay, get up, let's move on. You met a boy, please treat him with all your heart, he treats you with all his heart, and so should you, you have to believe that you deserve to be loved even after all this. Love is a very suspenseful thing, and it makes sense to run in both directions. Finally, dear girl. Here's to a promising future and a long time to come. The future is promising.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This girl, thank you so much for your reply! It's short but very informative, allow me to analyze it in detail! First of all, let me give you a warm hug (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065 \"They don't have a good relationship, they rarely interact\", \"Rarely do they even flirt with me every time I pick out a dress\", I can feel that your parents don't have a good relationship, and there is a serious [impediment] to intimacy between them! There is a serious [impediment] to intimacy! Moreover, you haven't received any [love mother tongue] from your parents, but instead have received a lot of [harm]! You grew up in this kind of family atmosphere, \"for a long time in it, do not know its flavor\", your subconscious is very easy to form \"I do not deserve to be loved\" [automatic thinking]! Coupled with the fact that your relationship with your father is not good, you subconsciously easily take this set of relationship patterns with [impediment] between you and your father [copy] to your relationship with all of the opposite sex, with the words of behavioral psychology, this is called [stimulus generalization]! I think this may be the deeper crux of why you feel [indebted to him] after feeling his love today! Further, because you've been [lacking love] since you were a child, once you feel love, you want to grab it desperately for fear that it will leave you! Your so-called \"I'm very dependent on him, I'm so afraid of him to apologize to me, so afraid of his anger, so afraid of him leaving me (although he comforted me again and again)\" and also buy expensive gifts to him, is your [love box] has been empty for a long time to breed out of the [irrational] thoughts and behaviors! What you can do now is to [turn your thoughts] around! You can try to look at yourself in the mirror every day and say, \"I am worthy of being loved, I am worthy of having love, I am worthy of being loved! No matter what I've been through in my past, it can't stop me from being loved!\" I will love you unconditionally, no matter how much my parents tease and sarcasm they throw at me!\" , adhere to 100 days, internalize and externalize! Remember what the founder, Mr. Huang Qituan, said: \"All the indifference in the world is the hiding of warmth!\" If your mom or dad is \"flirting and sarcastic\" with you, their love box has been empty for a long time, and they need to be cared for, too! This probably has something to do with their upbringing! Do you know anything about your mom and dad's upbringing? I hope that helps! Of course, if you still feel overwhelmed, you can try to find a counselor to counsel you one-on-one! Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "What I want to tell you is that when you don't know what to do, no one else does either. Because other people are not you, do not know what kind of situation you are, not to mention what kind of inner turmoil you are going through. Therefore, the subject can try to clarify their own heart this \"sense of indebtedness\" tangled from where. Only when you know the cause of it, you can make some targeted decisions. The subject can carefully recall, when they began to produce this \"sense of indebtedness\"? What kind of situation (what the other person did, what he or she did, or what kind of scene)? When someone makes us feel a great deal of acceptance and love when we are in a desperate situation, generally speaking, we will have a feeling of \"being saved\", like a drowning person who meets a piece of driftwood. Therefore, it is easy to become dependent on the other person. This is obviously the case with the subject. And the subject is also trying his best to make this feeling of dependence to continue. For example, worrying about the other person leaving, afraid of the other person angry, afraid of their own wrongdoing, and instinctively will buy the other person very expensive gifts, in order to make the other person feel that the subject is \"worth it\". Therefore, rather than a \"sense of indebtedness\", the subject of the deeper hidden in the heart is a fear of losing, feel that they \"do not deserve to have\" knowledge. This deeper hidden feeling comes from the subject's past experiences. The question does not describe it in detail, and it is up to the questioner to analyze the root cause of its formation and make targeted adjustments. While searching for the root cause, the subject also needs to start from now on, so that he or she can establish a new correct cognition, \"I am worthy of being loved\". Here is worthy of facing all people, rather than a particular object. Only if the subject has this self-confidence, will not be as now so suffer, so that both parties in the relationship to become cautious, over time, will naturally be overwhelmed. To create a new perception, you need to have a new understanding of yourself. Open your eyes and take a good look at yourself, you will definitely find many, many sparkles in yourself, and not as the subject now thinks, \"I didn't do anything\". In fact, in the place you do not see, you have already done a lot, only that you have been blind to it. Therefore, now, the subject has to do is to open their own pair of eyes have been closed to themselves, take a good look at themselves, a good understanding of themselves. Above, I hope it can help the subject.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, reading your question, it feels like you haven't gotten over your last messy life situation, and being vulnerable you are in great need of a support, a love, a comfort right now. Luckily, you have met. As just the right person who came along at just the right time of need, he is the sunshine in your life right now. Your need for him is like a warm baby on your belly when you have menstrual cramps. He can't cure you, but he can reassure you and bring you comfort. Your subconscious puts him in the position of a warm baby and knows that you are using him without intending him to create a two-way link, and thus deep down you are guilty of knowing that there is no way that you can truly give love that is worthy of his feelings. In the midst of this guilt, you always want to do something as a substitute for the love you can't give. Therefore, you will buy him expensive gifts, you feel that your dependence on him and his dedication to you is worth all this. You are afraid to hear him apologize because you already feel that your relationship with the other person is unjust and that you exploited him. As for why he judged you that way, it could be that he was in love and idealized his relationship with you, or it could be that he was trying to please you. You don't intend to really consider turning him around, otherwise, he'd be treating you so well and you're really attracted to him, it wouldn't just be a fling. If you don't know how to treat him, I would suggest that you let a counselor walk you through this most difficult time and let him wait for you on the other side of time. When you come out of it, and he still loves you, and you are truly able to give love, then continue your story. Right now, you could be misleading him, hurting him, and then losing him.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sometimes there is no need to be too indebted, mainly to see the two of you get along in what way, is a friend, bosom friend or lovers, this is something you need to say clearly. Between men and women relationships, there is indeed a bosom friend feelings, is above friends, lovers not yet full of that kind of state, sometimes will feel to be friends than to be a couple is more appropriate some, this still depends on how you are looking at his process. Personal advice on this issue, you need to be clear and his relationship, want to do what kind of identity to try to determine down, do not wander in the ambiguous state, this identity is not clear, in the end will make the relationship very stiff. If the two sides have a good feeling, to determine is not bad, you can do lovers; if you just because of various reasons, temporarily need to find a person to accompany, you feel that do friends suitable, then you can also give him a clear. Between feelings or to maintain boundaries and pure attitude, whether friends, girlfriends or lovers, ambiguous attitude will make other people's hearts uncomfortable, this pending state is very headache. I'm sure you'll be able to handle this, just think about the process of how to get along with him.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Kissing and hugging you. Seeing that you are with each other, yourself and him have been slowly moving from friends to lovers, with a mutual liking relationship. But in fact, you have always owed him, or have always wished to please him, and feel that this state has a certain impact on both sides. In fact, the embodiment of this in a romantic relationship is actually the embodiment of this in an intimate relationship. You will feel that you have not done anything, and feel that you do not know why he is so grateful to you and like you. It's actually because you don't seem to be particularly fond of yourself either, and feel as if you don't deserve him liking you that much. In addition, you are very dependent on him, very afraid of him leaving, in fact, also like him very much, hope that he will always be with you, fear of loss, fear of loss. Ultimately, it's actually the fear of not being loved and losing the other person. So in the final analysis, you have to love yourself more, and also feel loved ah ~ see their own value and sparkle, so that you also feel loved. Communicate with the other person the points he likes about himself and see the sparkle in his eyes. See the difference between love and fear of loss. Love is the desire for him to stay, fear of loss is the fear of the other person leaving. Hope this helps, world and I love you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's talk about this as we sort it out: by your description of your complaint is that you are so afraid that he will leave me. Understanding from your description, you don't seem to know how to avoid the situation of him leaving? By doing so # I try to buy expensive ones, I don't know why, I always feel that I can't live with the cheap ones... # To show how much you value him? It's very understandable that you are afraid of him leaving because you like him, and the more afraid you are, the more you want to hold on to him. Suggestion: You can talk to him about things after becoming lovers, such as whether to live together, how your respective work is arranged. Eliminate your worries about the future by getting to know each other more intimately. You don't know exactly to explore those issues, I can give you direction.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3783
       },
       {
        "question": "Frequent dreams of trying to hit someone but not being able to, and hallucinations the other day?",
        "description": "Two years ago was bullied by classmates a little depressed, and then slowly get better, that period of time often dream to go to fight other people can not fight, but also often have hallucinations, and now suddenly have this kind of dream, two days ago and hallucinations",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotional Regulation, Tears of Vulnerability",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner said he had hallucinations, I do not know what kind of sound the owner usually hallucinate? Hallucinations can be categorized into verbal hallucinations and primitive hallucinations, verbal hallucinations are hearing audible words out of thin air; while primitive hallucinations are hearing non-verbal sounds or inaudible verbal sounds out of thin air. Most commonly seen in schizophrenia, also seen in bipolar disorder, rare in wistful psychosis, depersonalization and cerebral organic mental disorder. * Mainly include: (1) non-verbal sounds: primitive phantom hearing of non-verbal sounds include: * through the mouth of other people or animals issued by the non-verbal sounds: for example, crying and laughing, coughing, animal barking; * nature sounds: for example, the sound of the water flow, the sound of the rain; * mechanical sounds: for example, the sound of the train, the sound of the knocking, the sound of the slapping; * electronic sounds: for example, the sound of the radio tuning sound, the ringing of the cell phone; * tinnitus: some authors will be Tinnitus is categorized as phantom hearing and should be classified as primitive phantom hearing. Tinnitus (hissing, ringing, buzzing) is the result of hyperactivation of brainstem nuclei or primary auditory cortex. (2) Inaudible speech sounds: the patient's phantom hearing develops from inaudible speech sounds to verbal phantom hearing, which is the aggravation of phantom hearing, and the verbal phantom hearing gradually becomes smaller and smaller to inaudible after treatment, which is the alleviation of phantom hearing. If the phantom speech sounds fluctuate between inaudible and audible, this is less severe than pure verbal phantom hearing. According to the above situation, the owner can see what kind of phantom hearing, phantom hearing is often found in schizophrenia, it is recommended that the owner go to the psychiatric department of the hospital for diagnosis as soon as possible. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6481
       },
       {
        "question": "21 female, seems to have been molested by a doctor, came home to my dad ranting, don't want to talk about it",
        "description": "Because of menstruation and body hair problems, chin has a beard, areola have long thick hair, afraid of their own women's disease and high androgen, so go to seek medical treatment, at first did not say areola thing, the male doctor's reflection is normal, and then I just add to say areola thing, said I immediately regretted, I saw that the male doctor's movements suddenly become faster, immediately press the nurse light to call the nurse to come in, he had the kind of slow and don't want to care about your attitude, let me undress for examination, I was so uneasy and don't want to undress, so he moved very slowly and hesitantly. I was so upset that I didn't want to undress, so I moved slowly and hesitantly, and then he took off his clothes and lifted up my underwear and pinched my breasts, and I was blinded and blanked out and didn't fight back, and I just looked at everything with my eyes open and didn't move and didn't say anything, and then the female nurses were looking at me, and I don't know if that's normal or not, and it took me a while to go back to my house and start to know how to cry, and I kept thinking that I wasn't the one who was going to do it. Crying, I have been thinking about whether I was molested, thinking about whether to talk to mom to say whether to say whether to police and so on, the results have not been able to speak, my father came home to roar loudly asked me why you go to others to see the chest?! I was instantly baffled, there was a bunch of sadness but no, a lot of words suddenly do not want to say, just want to sleep, this is something I did not say to Dad, I feel that it may be the nurse called to talk to him.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Somatic Reaction, Psychological Crisis, Trauma Treatment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs sweetie, I'm sure you are very helpless and heartbroken right now. Actually, from my perspective, the doctor should not have meant to molest you. #My experience as a child in 5th grade, I was a little precocious, and then my mom did accompany me to the doctor. At that time, I also had to take off my clothes to the doctor to see, the doctor also have pinched and touched my breasts, but at that time it was a normal examination. #Analysis Nowadays, male doctors in obstetrics and gynecology are not rare. For them, touching and pinching may be a normal checkup process. To put it bluntly, in their eyes, a human being is a pile of meat, and a breast is just an organ made up of meat, fat and other substances. I myself studied biology, also learned the reproductive system and so on and so forth, in the laboratory class will also look at the specimens, and sometimes have to touch a little, if possible, but also dissected. But none of us were really embarrassed about it, it was probably more of a learning experience for us. And then the male doctor, he took it upon himself to ring the nurse's bell during your physical exam to make sure a female nurse was present, which is required by law. Also at first was waiting for you to undress yourself. If it was a male doctor who really wanted to molest you, wouldn't he have called the female nurse in? Why would he undress you quickly after that, from what I have observed, most doctors are very busy with a lot of patients waiting in line and they don't have a lot of time to spend on one patient in many cases so they may have been more in a hurry and helped you undress. #FamilyCircumstances As for your father and your behavior, it seems that your family is not a very open-minded family in terms of sexuality, which is understandable. But if you don't go to the doctor because of shame, when a small illness becomes a big illness, is face still important? So your willingness to go to the doctor is really commendable courage, is doing a very brave thing. I don't know how your dad knew about this, so ask him and tell him that you just went through a normal checkup. I don't know how your test went this time. If you still feel burdened, let's find a female doctor next time. Be good and touch your head. I don't think there's any difference between a female doctor and a male doctor, so please relax.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20867
       },
       {
        "question": "What do you do when your heart is empty, but you don't feel anything?",
        "description": "Because of some things, my heart became empty (love and study), and I thought I had regulated it, but then I didn't feel anything for various reasons. Now with my partner, I feel that sometimes I should be difficult, but I don't have any feeling in my heart, just a little bit of blockage, a little bit of anxiety, and then happy words only for a moment, I love my partner very much, but I'm not good in such a state, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the author. From your words between the lines can see you on the current \"state\" of their own is able to find the problem (or should I say that the \"feeling is not right\"), and often this is the beginning of the promotion of self-change, this point needs to be praised. I think, between two people get along with the \"feeling\" is very important, the definition of this feeling is not a mysterious and esoteric things, it is more from getting along between the points to experience \"happiness\", perhaps the world has love at first sight, there is a tsunami of romance! Perhaps the world has love at first sight, there is a mountain of romantic behavior, but more is the ordinary life in the drop feeling, which is more precious things. I am 30 years old, and my wife together for 10 years, married for 3 years, just 2 days ago, we just celebrated the \"confession 10 anniversary\" anniversary, in fact, think about together for 10 years, \"love\" this word seems to have been gradually away, we are more We have been accustomed to each other around such a state, ordinary in the small anniversary of the sense of ceremony, each other waiting for each other off work, each other with children, the middle of the quarrels, there have been contradictions, but the other side is still around. I think, perhaps it is this kind of life in the \"small happiness\", let us continue to go on, rather than deliberately looking for \"love\". In terms of learning, I suggest that it is more about experiencing a \"sense of accomplishment\". Simply put, that is, to find their own interest and future employment-related content, from which to experience a sense of achievement, slowly build up the \"experience of achievement\", but also to build up self-confidence. If we do not fully understand the purpose of their own learning, it is easy to fall into the \"why study\" circle, and this circle will often lead to \"do not want to study\" the conclusion of unmotivated, which may be what we need to avoid. I hope my answer can help you, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3353
       },
       {
        "question": "25 year old girl, for the last year, why can't I stop buying clothes?",
        "description": "The last year has been a frenzy of buying clothes, whether they fit or not, in the same style and different colors",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I can only say that everyone loves beauty, and I didn't realize that I used to want cosmetics so much. I've been wanting to buy makeup and dresses for a year now, and I used to be a big girl who didn't care about anything, and sometimes I'd sneer at girls who wore makeup, but I didn't realize how much I wanted to buy these things now. I can only say that I should be the love of beauty is enlightened. And I think it's normal to love beauty nowadays, that girl doesn't want to be beautiful, right? So I think often want to buy clothes is normal, but consumption in moderation on the good, not because of their own impulse and then used a lot of IOUs what to buy the clothes, this way is not worth the loss, in their own economic ability to consume, to buy a variety of good-looking dresses on the right, can not stop a person to become beautiful, because the beauty is also in the direction of excellence in a way (in my opinion), but depending on their own economic But it depends on one's own financial ability to become beautiful~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12152
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling out of work, not a bit of motivation, too many hours, no patience to do it anymore?",
        "description": "The earliest I can add to 9:30 did not add more than 10:00 feeling of a night to work overtime have no patience to do, and I do that work feel quite boring",
        "keywords": "Occupation, job stress, job fatigue",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Wow, this feeling I have also had, it really feels like a prison, I do not know what day to sit through the bottom of the prison. When the work becomes a kind of consumption, either change or leave to think of my Olympic Games before and after a large computer manufacturer overtime for a year, overtime is a culture here, all people are unspoken overtime, some people are really working overtime, some people are in order to eat the unit's meals at night can take a taxi home from work, some people are because of the boss did not get off work dare not get off work, some people have to communicate with the U.S. headquarters need to be jet lagged, anyway, everyone will be due to different problems passive or active overtime. Anyway, we all work overtime passively or actively because of different problems, and the surrounding buildings are dark, but the company is brightly lit. Our department could not get off work because the boss did not get off work, we could not get off work, after one year, we made the 30th edition of a product from the first edition, and finally went back to the first edition, finally, our whole department was laid off because we did not contribute to the group's strategy and wasted too much budget, I felt like my life had been depleted. I especially regret why I didn't leave earlier, had to wait for the group layoffs, obviously hate working overtime why I was forced to work overtime for a year, are after 9:30 pm to leave from the company, that year my health condition has also reached the worst point, the body is poor emotionally even worse, especially after the layoffs, I feel even more defeated like a LOSER I think you're now going through what I am, and also every day in the torn between leaving and not to make a decision, I used my miserable life to make a decision, I'm not sure I can do it. Don't make a decision, I use my miserable experience to give you a shock, either change this physical and mental suffering, or leave this physical and mental suffering. Half the time of life at work, please make sure to do to make yourself defiant and sleepless love, you will be deeply nourished I was young when I did the profession of public relations for 12 years, I can not feel happy, other people look particularly decent, I feel particularly consumed me, a little nourishment is not, always looking for resources to do projects to please the customer, that health to take the youth as a mule in the work in the proof of their own, and finally found that this is a false proposition, but it is not the case. Finally found that this is a pseudo-proposition, finally can no longer do self-deception. When I found my life organizing talent, I found that I am willing to work overtime I am willing to do anything, is a very enjoyable state, especially by the case owners of the respect, I do not need to please the customer, I use my professionalism and talent both to help people and nourish their own, the past few years my body and mind have been greatly nourished, even and the United States customers backward jet lag to do the organizing are all willing to do it. You, dear one, have made a good decision in asking the question, honor your heart and don't consume yourself to nourish yourself, and I encourage you with trauma on the same theme as you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12318
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you always resent others, am I not forgiving enough or are they just too uncountable?",
        "description": "I dislike other people smoking smoke smell smoked me, I dislike other people talking too loud noisy me, I dislike other people working too slow affect my work progress, I dislike other people chatting about family matters in-laws do not take into account my feelings, I dislike other people joking that I am ugly fat short, I am angry with other people say that you can not afford to joke! I'm too careful, right? Why can't they be nice to me in exchange for my tolerance? My heart is so hard and no one to tell a person outside of the parents do not report the good news, but also can not talk to friends, in case my friends than I am still annoying me is not to give my friends to add to the trouble it? I really don't know what to do. I really don't know what to do. Thank you!",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Interpersonal Boundaries, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. Regarding your question, I have heard a saying before. \"When you despise others, more often than not, you are despising yourself. You see your own shortcomings reflected in others, which leads to your dislike of others, and essentially, you dislike yourself for having these shortcomings. Yet, you often refuse to change.\" For the six issues you mentioned, some of them can be easily resolved. For example, smoking and speaking. If you reflect on yourself and find that you do not engage in these behaviors, then it is entirely up to others. In this case, you can kindly suggest to them to refrain from smoking or speaking loudly at certain times. While this may not solve all the problems at once, most people will listen to advice, and this can help avoid some troubles and reduce your own disdain. As for joking, appearance, talking about family matters, and work, the four things you despise, appearance is something innate and bestowed by your parents. By criticizing it, you are essentially expressing dissatisfaction towards your parents. Your mother carried you for ten months just for you, but you are ungrateful and complain. This shows disrespect towards your parents and a lack of traditional Chinese virtues. As for joking, it can vary in importance. In daily life, try to avoid joking with \"strangers,\" but with close friends, joking is more acceptable. After all, your friends understand your intentions and won't take offense. However, in terms of work, you cannot accomplish everything on your own. It requires collaboration with others, which often involves frequent communication. However, in your question, I did not see any mention of your \"communication,\" but rather that you only focus on yourself. As for family matters, it is enough to just listen and make changes where necessary. In doing so, those who merely talk without action will often run out of topics. You mentioned feeling uncomfortable in your heart and not having someone to confide in, not knowing whether to speak or not. You have been burying these issues in your own mind and have not attempted to resolve them. You dare not even take the first step, yet you hope others can solve your problems for you. Clearly, this poses significant difficulties. Therefore, I suggest stepping out of your comfort zone. Don't doubt yourself too much, have some self-confidence and tolerance. By doing so, your life will emit a different kind of spark.",
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        "questionID": 9775
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm so tired of this marriage, but I can't afford to let go of my own son.",
        "description": "There is a wound in my heart that always hurts and reminds me at any time that my joy has escaped from the wound. I lost my joy and became irritable, depressed, procrastinating, and slow as if I couldn't get anything done! I was so tired of this marriage, but there was no way I could let go of my son! I am not willing to admit defeat to their family and try to fight but torture my own son! I know that some people will say that you should not do anything to aggravate your child, but I am being driven crazy by their family, and if I don't fight back, how can a weak mother protect her child? How can a weak mother protect her child if she doesn't fight back? I've been cut off from my living expenses with a daughter who can't even walk yet, so how can I live a good life if I beg? It would be better to fight for everything that belongs to me, just my son, he is my life! He is my life! He is my life! How could I be so cruel to see him suffer with his irresponsible family? Now I am like a broken arm drinking blood, to protect the daughter will have to aggrieve the son, to protect the son mother and son have to aggrieve!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Divorce, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hugs to you. I know you have suffered so much in this family. But honestly, a slap in the face is not enough, and when a marriage goes wrong, it must be the responsibility of both people. Your question I'm guessing is whether it's a matter of commiserating or enduring the pain of giving up your son. When we see things as black and white, we block other paths. With the information you have provided, I don't see the need for your marriage to be purely present, I am more concerned about you and your son. That's not a good thing for your son. So I think it's more important that you go for self-growth and you need a counselor.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 18137
       },
       {
        "question": "Going to work or not? I want a diploma, I don't want to be good. Where did I go wrong?",
        "description": "Grandma found me a job as a general laborer and gave me Ganoderma lucidum to reduce my medication, I use the medication as an excuse not to work, I want to study for a diploma, I don't want to be good, people should be evil, some people say that this disease is for life, I kinda like to be this crazy all my life, admit that I'm not good, and then accept other people's goodness to be normal again, I can't pretend that nothing happened, I can't let myself be so aggrieved, I I think I learned in school to see through the closest people, I also want to see more thoroughly, this is the support of my life, my life should be alone, I do not want to do the laborers do not let themselves grow space, I used to learn to paint a foundation, but now very tired of the thought of painting and so on, painting a good family members say that I am not good, forget about family members, I can not figure out where they are wrong, that is, I go to school, do not know the family suffering, rumors that I talked about the family's suffering. The family's suffering, the wind of my love affair, so that the family drilled a hole and sent me to the hospital, since then I have become a person who is not clear in the head, said I died grandmother can not live, I think certainly live on, people are for their own good, recently very difficult to think of not like the husband why together, I really do not know where I am wrong, no one has ever given me a definitive answer, but surely told me that I have a mental illness, born of a real disease. I'm not sure what's wrong with me.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Counseling, Mental Disorders, Behavioral Disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Can know from your confession to some kind of inner loss of disappointment and latent hatred and other indescribable emotions na, but also be able to see you appear in the heart of a variety of contradictory places, perhaps for the future what kind of intention you may not have decided, about their own academic qualifications and the future of the work arrangements of these are the need to go to the place of careful consideration of it, to understand that you to take medication as an excuse not to go to work you want to read a diploma, if this is what you think what is preventing you from getting what you want? You want to study for a diploma, if this is what you think in your heart you think there are things that are preventing you from getting what you want in your heart. Want to read a diploma grandmother to find you a general labor job eating ganoderma lucidum to reduce your medication people should be evil to see through the closest people still want to see more thorough drawing of good family said you are not good character family affliction maybe in the process of you and your family get along with the process of a lot of negative things have happened, and even you were sent to the hospital into the brain is not clear, the experience of the experience here may be the deepest part of your heart very much need to go to reprocessing of the place, if you still want to do something for yourself, want to see through still try to make yourself able to get the basic social support, so that you can live, so currently your goals need to become more clear, you are wanting to go to a diploma, then whether there has been a specific plan it. \u25c6\u25c6\u25c6\u25c6\u25c6 Sorting out various entanglements with family members to understand planningYou may have endured too much pain in your past experiences that you shouldn't have had to endure at that age, perhaps some negative comments from family members or other people scolding you, you may have felt very isolated and helpless at times. Begin by listing the behavior you want to control and the situations that often trigger that behavior. Is it because you are experiencing various disturbances within yourself? Is it because there are other desires within, by identifying the impulsive moments when negative thoughts come up, you will be more capable of being the master of your impulses and actions. You can mark your progress always remembering that the key is progress, you can try to clarify what you want to do in your life and get as much support as possible, keep a calendar dedicated to your life planning. Remember that you are a whole individual and that you are capable of being positively defined by yourself, and if you know yourself and your patterns better, the easier it is to see how much you need to be flexible in these challenging times. Take care to screen the various messages you receive and. Remember that you can only access more truth if you are empowered within, give yourself more courage to persevere, listen to your heart and let reason run its course and honor your feelings and the feedback you get from life, see more of the optimistic elements that are present in your life right now, the resources you already have right now, and caring for yourself will enhance the ability to be active in trying to make changes and practicing the power of autonomy for the better. Whether it's a job or following your heart to read a diploma is a choice you're going to have to make, choosing the kind of path that works for you in the long run in the future.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "After reading this text, I feel a little headache, as if I see a small boat in the middle of the sea, with no way to come and no way to return. This is a very informative passage, so I'll try to rationalize it and you can see if there are any problems with what I'm saying. First, you're sick and on medication. Second, you're married and haven't felt like your husband lately. Third, you want to go to school and don't want to go to work, or rather, don't want to take classes that have room for advancement. Fourth, Grandma is concerned about you. Fifth, your family is always accusing you of not knowing what to do. Sixth, you don't want to get well, you want to stay sick. Seventh, you feel aggrieved and resentful at the same time, and want to know what's right and is good for you. Eighth, you want to get better and be recognized and loved by those around you. I don't know if I've misunderstood anything? There is a word in psychology called defense mechanisms. A defense mechanism is, a mental operation that eliminates unpleasant emotional components from the conscious level. Unpleasant emotions include anxiety, depression and anger. Anxiety is made up of unpleasant feelings coupled with speculation about frightening events. Depressed emotions, on the other hand, are composed of unpleasant feelings plus perceptions of the occurrence of terrible events. Anger is made up of unpleasant feelings plus thoughts of destroying someone or something. For none of the above emotional responses, the content of these thoughts may be derived from perceptions and memories held so far in any developmental stage of childhood, and may be reality-based, imagination-based, or both. ---- The Masks of the Mind - 101 Psychological Defenses My understanding is that some past events feel so horrible that we consciously and unconsciously prevent the feeling from coming. The reason why we would know that the feeling is too horrible is because we used to live with it and can't resolve it or escape it. Your problem gives me the feeling that your family is giving you a lot of pain and you want to escape, but you can't live with it yourself, so you are very conflicted. The ones around you can't understand you, and although there are many people around you, you still feel very lonely. Because no one's heart and your heart are together, they don't look forward to your expectations, they don't look forward to your happiness, they all want you to fulfill their expectations and achieve what they think is reasonable. I used to feel a lot of this, even thinking many times about how to die, is it only when I'm gone that they will think about my efforts, my goodness. Of course now that I'm in front of my screen answering this question, it means that I didn't choose to die, I came through. But I know that desperation intimately. You said you wanted to be sick, and you said, you wanted to go to school, and you said, you wanted to know how you were right. I don't think there's a lot of logic between those ideas. It's hard to say what's right, but wanting to be sick shouldn't be considered very right. Don't you think? So you don't really want to be sick, you just want to be sick so that you can rest, so that you don't have to be so \"unintelligent\". After all, it's hard to be blamed for something. So, I think you want to be sick as a defense mechanism. When I was being counseled, I saw a scene where I saw a little girl who was standing in an open space, and then a lot of arrows were coming from all directions, densely packed, surrounding her. She was scared and helpless. In desperation, she opened a shield. Covering herself inside, these arrows still leaped around this glass shield, the little girl crouched down, covering her head, not daring to look up. Inside the shield she could no longer hear outside, could no longer be harmed, and yet, she kept shivering. I knew that little girl was myself, and I tried many, many times to approach her, to tell her that I would grow up with her, but she couldn't see me, couldn't hear me. Of course after a long time I am now able to walk up to her and she is willing to believe me and now we are growing together. I want you to know that some of the pain is overwhelming and it can be hard to carry alone. This is the time when I feel the need to lend a hand will make the torment easier. Of course things are already there and it's not easy either way, but as long as you still want to get out, then some of the pain needs to be endured and carried. Let me give you a couple pieces of advice. First, if you are ready, you can find a counselor, preferably one with a background in psychoanalysis or humanistic training. Of course family therapy would be better. Second, don't blame yourself. In all the past, you did everything you could to protect yourself. Although, the result is still not so good now, it is not your fault. Third, don't blame your family. They may not have considered your feelings, but they probably didn't mean to hurt you, and they have their own limitations, a lot of things they can't see, a lot of things they can't do. Fourth, express your feelings. Tell your family directly what you feel most directly, such as aggression, pain. Try to express them in a quiet state. Let the past pass so that the future can come. Cheer up! Hopefully, my answer will give you a glimmer of warmth.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9814
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you sometimes have emotional breakdowns and want to cry?",
        "description": "In life, I feel that I always have nothing to do, the housework is done by the mother resting at home, I feel that I am always like a small child needing the help of parents, always can not think calmly when things are encountered, always want to do what you want to do, which leads to the irregularity of my life, and sometimes get up always have to parents to remind the life of the parents always need to be parents of the small help, can not be autonomous self-discipline of the life! I can't live a self-disciplined life, so I can't calm down to study outside of work, and sometimes I can't learn even if I want to. Is there something wrong with my body? Sometimes when I encountered some accusations, I was very pessimistic and had some bad dreams, which led me to bawl my eyes out. But sometimes my mother's comforting words don't help me relax.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depression, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hello subject here first to give you a hug hope that the next my answer can bring you help from the description of the subject, can see the subject from a young age, the living environment is still relatively good, in the care of the parents grow up. But because the parents did not give the subject too much space for self-development, resulting in growing up still need the help of parents, still like a child, need to be called by parents to get up, can not think calmly, do things as you wish, encounter a little bit of small things to be scolded by the easy emotional collapse, want to cry a lot. The subject believes that he or she has accomplished nothing in life, is powerless and confused, and does not know what to do. \ufe0fCan take the initiative to help with houseworkIn the question, the subject mentioned that housework is done by her mother who is resting at home. In fact, the subject can take the initiative to ask for help to do some housework, even if it is just mopping the floor and sweeping the floor, can make oneself feel that there is still a useful place in the family, and also let the subject out of the feeling that he or she is not accomplishing anything. Although it is said that the mother rests at home to do housework, but once the housework is in hand where is the so-called rest? So if the subject helps with the housework, she can also share some of the burden with her mother and give her a break. This is also the process of growing up. \ufe0fDon't always think of the bad side of the subject says he is always pessimistic. In fact, there are often more good sides than bad sides, so don't always think of her bad side when things go wrong. When things are scolded, sometimes it is aggrieved, and sometimes is it because you did wrong is scolded? Don't think of yourself being scolded, but think of the good side, people are correcting your mistakes, you a reminder, for the next time to be scolded. A scolding for a correction, become the best version of yourself. \ufe0f Crying is also a way of emotional catharsis human emotions have a critical point, more than that point, emotional collapse, crying can vent their emotions, crying can also make their whole person relax a little. After crying, the whole person will also calm down a little bit, will have a good mood to face tomorrow's life. \ufe0fLearn to grow upThe subject is already an adult, and you can act like a child with your parents and let them give you help. But there are always times when there are things that only you can carry and need to go through. Sometimes there are things that don't need your parents' help, and you can actually go through them slowly by yourself. Learn to solve the problem by yourself, learn to grow up slowly.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I see your self-evaluations, I have a vague sense of imagery, like a parent who is constantly educating their child, always finding faults and criticisms, always hoping that the child can be better. I wonder what this image I described would make you think of? I also see that you have good self-reflection abilities and a strong desire to improve yourself. I wonder if underneath it all, you are also hiding a lot of grievances and frustrations? It seems that on one hand, you have many genuine needs - the need to relax, to be more carefree, to be taken care of. But on the other hand, you also desire independence, autonomy, and a sense of achievement. This truly creates a conflict, like two different parts of yourself struggling and opposing each other inside, slowly depleting our energy. Although I don't know your age or have more information about you, I can understand that you seem to be facing a developmental challenge, a need for individual independence and separation. This is also part of everyone's life development cycle - we need to gradually move from family and adolescence towards mature and independent individuals. However, Chinese social and cultural norms make it difficult for many people to walk on the path of self-growth in early adulthood. I don't know for you, when you feel emotionally depressed or down, what channels do you have to vent or express yourself? And what things or activities can make you feel joyful? Perhaps for you, developing more personal relationships and space that belong to you may be more important than fulfilling the needs of parents or family. Lastly, I recommend some simple and easy-to-read self-help books that may be helpful to you, such as \"Rebuilding Life,\" \"The Bond of Maternal Love,\" and \"Dancing with Anger.\"",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, first of all, I'd like to give you a warm hug haha everyone will have an emotional breakdown and cry a lot, it's actually a form of emotional regulation. This is actually a form of emotional regulation. I can't help but cry sometimes when I'm too stressed out. After reading your description, I think you need to systematically sort out the causes of your emotional breakdown. From your description, such as not accomplishing anything in life, not being able to study outside of work, etc., it is actually due to a lack of internal motivation. Your mother does all the housework, and you always need to be reminded by your parents to get up, but what about the motivation that comes from \"me\" itself? Because of the loss of internal motivation, it seems that my life is not controlled by myself, and I am easily disturbed and easily influenced by external accusations. My suggestion is to stimulate inner motivation. The owner can try to do daily or weekly planning by himself, try to organize and control the rhythm of his life by himself. Gradually become independent. You can try to slowly become independent from the help of parents, gradually change the mode of receiving love, try to give love, try to use your own ability to care for others, love others. Instead of waiting for others to love me and others to help me. Finally, when we gradually become independent and have the ability to love others, you will realize that you have the ability to create your own happiness.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12920
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do about inter-office conflict issues where the relationship is delicate?",
        "description": "Two offices, one with the director of a faction, a deputy director of a faction, the relationship between the two sides is very delicate, I am in the director of this office, today the deputy director to find me to ask me to help his office staff, because I just came in, it is not good to refuse to say yes; and then in the director of this office of the old staff saw also asked me to do the same work, and also gave me said really feel sorry for me, and then asked me to resign! Forget it, or I will have a hard time in the future, what should I do now? What should I do now? How can I solve the problem so that I don't have to run in both directions in the future?",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Interpersonal Workplace",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello, can feel your inner left and right dilemma, in front of the powerful office social pressure, you can hardly choose, confused and wandering. Below, only from the psychological point of view, do a brief analysis, I hope to bring you inspiration and help. \"1\u300fSociety is a university. When you enter the workplace, learning is more important than anything else. Do a good job in their own professional work, at the same time, to understand the culture of their own units, which is also your workplace to stand firm, must take a course. With a learning mindset, be kind to others, and provide them with what you can, I believe you will reap the benefits of your own network of resources. \u300e2\u300fTell yourself to do the right thing. Each of us, have a clear sense of the rules, then right and wrong, they are clearly distinguishable, then adhere to do the right thing, the direction of our efforts, so as not to be lost. \"3\u300fLearning to politely refuse can buy time and opportunity for oneself. When we do not want to do a thing, but have to take into account the face of the other side, then this time, a polite refusal, the perfect excuse, can be for their own points. \"4\u300fLearn to de-stress and give yourself time to rest and relax. For newcomers to the workplace, unfamiliar environment, there is a need to adapt to the process, we are working hard at the same time, but also remember to give their own taut heart, leaving a rest and recuperation time. Avoid excessive tension, resulting in physical and mental exhaustion, after all, work is not the whole of life. The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Having to choose sides in the workplace is indeed a headache and anxiety. After reading the owner's description, I have this picture in my mind: a child comes between two adults, and both adults want to tease the child. One of the adults said, \"Little friend, come to me to play, there is candy to eat. If you don't come to me, I'll be angry!\" The other adult also said, \"Little friend, come to me to play and have candy. If you don't come to me, I'm going to get mad!\" In my experience, children make choices based on their situation and the two adults. If this little friend is not very secure and seems weak, he will choose to run away, or he will choose to stay put and cry and wait for his parents to arrive, or he will choose the side of the adult who feels like he looks like he will be really angry and will punish himself. If the little one is more secure and independent, he will choose to play on his own, or he will run away, or he will choose the side of the adult who looks like he really wants to give him candy and cares about him. I don't know if the owner has reflected a bit on himself after reading my answer, or is he more torn?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 946
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I speak too bluntly and don't know how to consider other people's feelings?",
        "description": "Whether it's in the workplace, at home, or even among friends many times people say I don't know how to talk, I'm 24, and I've never had a girlfriend. Other people's comments to me is that there is no topic to talk about. I'm a bit of a loner. Whenever I talk to people, I don't know how to joke around, I'm just a one-track mind, I speak straight, and I say what I have to say. If there's nothing, I don't say anything. After all, the only thing I can talk about is my online selling experience, because besides going to and from work, my life is all about online selling, and there seems to be nothing else. Tried to cultivate, like going to the theater, learning design, cooking, but none of it lasted. Sure, friends have suggested I relax. But anyway, in the face of talking to someone else, it's the same thing, too much focus on your own conversation in the moment. Can't bring the mood, don't know exactly how to joke, sometimes don't know what to talk about. But when it comes to online sales, I can't stop talking as if I have experience. How can I correct this situation? I know it's my problem, I'm too self-centered, and I don't like that I don't have friends to talk to.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal,Communication,Friends,Social Adjustment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, after reading your question, I can feel that you are struggling with the fact that you are always prone to hurtful words in your relationships and have done a lot of efforts to try, hugs to you! I hope my answer can give you some inspiration! The subject's situation can be described as a \"late maturity\" phenomenon! In psychoanalytic theory, belongs to the problem of insufficient mentalization, the main manifestation is the inability to put themselves in the shoes of others to feel others, experience the experience of others, which in interpersonal relations, communication, etc. will be difficult to perform, do not know how to carry out, do not know how to speak. The main manifestation is: do not know how to chat with people: \"Every time I chat with people, I have a one-track mind, speak straight, and say whatever there is. Nothing to say nothing.\" \"After all, the only thing I can chat about is my online selling experience, because in addition to commuting, my life is online selling, and there doesn't seem to be anything else.\" Can't make jokes and other ways to regulate interpersonal relationships Isolated personality Can't build intimacy Inner scarcity See the efforts you've made to change yourself, the efforts you've made to nurture yourself, to go to the theater, to learn to design, to learn to cook, but none of it lasts, and why is that? Because none of these methods are targeted, it's like treating a headache. This may have something to do with your childhood experience, in your childhood it may be that your parents were too neglectful or too spoiled and you were unable to experience the feelings of others. What can you do about it? You try to feel your own experiences in your life, for example, when you listen to another person, experience the other person's feelings, what are the other person's emotions? What are your own feelings and emotions? What are the physical sensations? Emotions are joy, anger, sadness, sorrow, fear and grief in which, triggering our body feeling is very rich ....... Gradually, your body and mind will come alive, and after you are able to experience it, you will know what emotions are triggered by what you say (e.g., the words we say when we have an angry emotion will trigger the other person's anger), and you will know how to speak. If you have the means, find a counselor with long course psychodynamic training to help you. Recommend a book for you, Living in the Here and Now, which has some good exercises in it. Good luck! R&P Psychology \ufffd R&P Mindfulness \ufffd.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5148
       },
       {
        "question": "What's wrong with hurting myself when I'm angry, constantly trying to kill myself, and having brain numbness?",
        "description": "And mom's relationship is not very good, she wants me to read the specialization and then specialize in bachelor's degree, but I hope to read the undergraduate, but undergraduate is too expensive, 4 years down to hundreds of thousands of dollars, mom feels the pressure of repayment is too much, has always hoped that I read the specialization, and I understand that, and recently thought of reading the specialization, it would have been a good thing that she has been saying that what is too expensive, tired of repayment, I think I can also be together with the repayment of ah, how she does not understand it? But also has been talking to other people that it would be better to read a specialist, but also tightly said that when the score is a few dozen points higher on the good, the more I think the more angry, I've tried my best, the score can not be changed, why is it still always have to say so. Today is also the same, said the high school to send things, trouble dead, said I shouted at her to send things on the annoyance, but I said at that time, you did not say what you want to shout at you to send it? Why are you blaming me again? She started to get especially excited and said something like she was wrong and should not have said that in the first place, I was speechless. When I went home, I was alone, the more I thought about it, the more angry I was, I hit the wall very hard, and all the way to the wall was to die. I've been starting to hurt myself constantly for the past month whenever I get this kind of anger. Am I starting to have mental problems?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "No, it's a normal reaction, it's a psychological problem caused by the unsatisfactory results after the high school exams. The subject we may first have to discuss a problem, may you read it will not feel good, but since it is a fact, we face it frankly, is not it? I'm not quite sure how much of a burden hundreds of thousands of dollars would be on your family, but hundreds of thousands of dollars, not so easy to come by, especially based on the fact that it still needs to be repaid at a later stage. The annual income level of the middle class in our country is 60,000, how long will you have to bear the burden if you repay it, and how much pressure will you be under, which is actually the point of conflict between you and your mother. Isn't there a joke claiming that: this second and third are all specialties. In fact, the social status of the three, said high not high, said low not low, good to mix a college student name, but the three, you can learn things may not be much difference with the specialist, after all, teachers there, may not be as good as online classes. Maybe the four-year harvest is a bachelor's degree certificate, plus a little club activities, competition certificates and so on, and most of this can be obtained through the specialized college, is it worth it? So I think you need to do a survey of all aspects of the subject, screening, comparison, such as family circumstances and the difference between college and undergraduate, etc., rationally do a little analysis, reality is just well, afraid of what. The second is, the answer to your mind to put good. People in the face of a lot of big pressure, there will be similar ideas, you may be thinking of no meaning of existence, people live so tired. However, you must not want to, because you are now facing so much pressure, subconsciously want to choose, or up a little college. The world is so big, don't put yourself in a small choice now. You're actually growing in the face of pressure. Believe me, you'll see it again in a few months, and it'll be nothing more than that.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"#A Word to the Disillusioned #Have you ever had the experience of hosting a memory to an object? For example, this great memory, hosted to a ticket. Save this ticket and when you see it later, you will recall those days. You can also seal bad memories onto an object, such as a small glass bottle, write down the incident, put it into the bottle and write 'Open it again on November 25, 2029' with an oil-based pen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12633
       },
       {
        "question": "A 22 year old boy with a frosty relationship with his parents and sister who has been trying to kill himself a lot lately?",
        "description": "Recently and parents of the relationship between the sister's relationship are very stiff every time after the fight want to go to suicide every time they say you give me to go I want to get rid of a hundred feel like a failure because of the epidemic can not go to school once in a while and friends to have a meal to ask for a little bit of money at most two hundred spent after the end of the will not go to ask for it again, feel and parents of the sister to ask for money is very lifting up the head of the month at most and friends to eat two meals, do not understand me",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject you and your parents, sister's relationship is very stiff because of the money problem? Although you think it is only one or two hundred dollars, it seems not much, but have you ever thought, perhaps to your parents, sister, two hundred dollars, come not easy, not easy, may need them to work hard for a day to get; perhaps they spend their own money are frugal, do not dare to spend a penny more. To ask for money with others, of course, you can't lift your head. If you don't have the ability to earn money for the time being, you can consider reducing the number of times you eat with your friends, or adopting the AA system, or taking turns to treat your friends, so that you can spend as little money as possible. When you work later, earn money, willing to invite friends, that is no problem. If you want others to understand, the prerequisite is to understand others yourself first, and understanding is mutual. The words spoken by your parents and sister are just words of anger spoken under extreme emotions and cannot be taken seriously. You can try to understand them, try to help them share the pressure, after all, you have become an adult, is no longer a child. Their hard work is understood, be sympathetic, treat you, the attitude will certainly be different. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16816
       },
       {
        "question": "Senior female, there's a doubt. Am I really cold-blooded?",
        "description": "Hello, everyone. This is a senior girl I've been having a doubt that's been bothering me for a long time. \"Am I really cold-blooded? As my parents say, I'm cold-blooded and indifferent. \"1 I seldom respond to my parents' concern, and their concern doesn't seem to be anything to me, and I don't have any emotions inside me. But I would say I cared with my mouth and answer.2 When my parents talked to me about their work woes or all sorts of things, I never had any big mood swings, as if I was listening to someone else's story.3 I had a bad temper, with a huge contrast between inside and outside. When my parents argue with me over problems, I start to get more angry, but it doesn't take long for me to calm down and see my parents red-eyed and distressed in front of me, and I'm really at peace inside.4 During the New Year's festivals, my greetings to my loved ones are just like completing a task, and I'm bored with it, always annoyed with such blessings.5 Other people's concern seems trivial to me and I always feel poorly equipped every time I care for my friends. I was perceived by my friends as a gentle, responsive, listening and warm-hearted person, but in reality I didn't feel that way.6 I would feel happy to be alone. Quietness makes me feel comfortable.7 To my parents, I am a typical hypocrite. Gentle and responsive in front of my teachers and classmates, indifferent to them at home.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, avoidance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Not exactly. In fact, this is a typical \"too much brain but not heart\", long-term use of rationality to guide & constrain the emotions and the formation of habit results, is the performance of excessive rationality. If there is no outlet for your emotions, they will pile up and suppress for a long time, which is not good for you, and you should open yourself up by releasing them regularly, for example, through artistic creation (singing, dancing), and so on. Emotions and thinking can complement each other.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16150
       },
       {
        "question": "At the end of the semester, I don't want to read and I'm addicted to variety every day.",
        "description": "Freshman, female, approaching final exams, always do not want to read and review, every day in the major variety shows. I want to change this state, but I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello building owner! Give you a warm hug! Near the final exam but do not want to review this is the norm for many students, feel that the more to the end of the more review not into. In fact, this is a kind of avoidance behavior, the reality of the examination pressure is too great, always afraid of their own test is not good, so much so that they will watch variety shows to divert their attention, briefly away from the reality of the pressure, to escape the reality of the examination. However, you will find that when you really fast test you will feel very remorseful and regretful, because you still have to return to reality, can not always escape. First of all, your own pressure as well as the outside world is too much pressure, you should maintain a good state of mind, the right to take the test, do their best to review the test, so that no matter how the final result you have done your best, and will not regret and blame yourself. Secondly, when you study, exclude all things that will attract your attention, especially cell phones, don't give yourself the opportunity to divert your attention, and focus your attention on reading and reviewing. Bravely face the reality, do not think to escape, there is no way to escape all the time, always have to face reality. Go for it! Do a good job of reviewing! I believe you can! The above is only my personal opinion, just for reference, I hope it can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ ~ first give the owner a hug, from the description can be understood, the owner is now a freshman, final exams should be reviewed, but still every day addicted to watching variety shows, do not want to review. A little analysis and suggestions] 1. When things pile up, or there are a lot of things to do time, will produce a sense of escape, do not want to do this thing, this feeling is normal. The owner may not like to watch the variety show, it is possible that in addition to studying anything else feel interesting. 2. the need to review things to do a classification, little by little to add to themselves. Tell yourself that you are going to watch this today, and just watching it is a victory. As long as from the variety, as long as the beginning of learning, in fact, the back is not so difficult, the owner needs is a start.3. Please friends or family to help, control their own cell phones, supervise their own daily control of the time to watch the variety, the best about a friend to study with each other, each other to supervise. I hope it will be helpful to the owner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17957
       },
       {
        "question": "My roommate always likes to show his superiority, I can't stand it and what if I fall out with my roommate?",
        "description": "I have a roommate, she just started school chanting overdraft three thousand, in order to meet her vanity, living expenses and I the same, but she always feel superior to us, always all kinds of bragging, I'm so uncomfortable, other people engaged in what she also like to judge, superiority is bursting, and then I fell out with her, just a freshman, what to do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Conflict, Housemates and Classmates",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Do not need to necessarily think about what to do. Because it is most important to have the right friends, it is clear that you and he are not the right kind of friends, even if the relationship is good now, not suitable sooner or later will have to break up. How to think, how to make yourself comfortable and happy, do not let these relationships affect themselves. The fact that your roommate's vanity doesn't affect your mood, then it's good that she's happy. You don't like her sense of superiority and the fact that she always likes to comment on other people's business, but you can't change that. Because everyone has a complicated upbringing history behind them, which is not something we can easily understand. You can only find a more comfortable distance and way to get along with her. For example, you can tell her how you feel, I don't like it when you comment on me and feel uncomfortable. She borrowed money to buy something, it is she who is responsible for her own behavior, and you don't need to care. Because some people, just like vanity, like to buy expensive things, in fact, as long as he can bear the consequences of this himself, there is no problem. Maybe now after the stalemate you will be more awkward, you can tell him how you feel, I'm not thinking you're bad, it's just that you often comment on others, it will make other people uncomfortable. Or the awkwardness will not be awkward anymore. Good luck ah~~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20294
       },
       {
        "question": "Emotional instability, easily stimulated, intermittent lows?",
        "description": "Intermittent low mood and desire to cry. Not in the same mood as the rest of the world. On rainy days thunderstorms low mood is high. Today's source of irritation: rainy days, want to integrate the collective can not be integrated, excellent people easily gathered together; more familiar roommates looking for another person; dormitory queue I was at the end of the doubt: this is jealousy or sheer loss; this mentality is good or bad; so how do I change the situation thoughts: perhaps this is unchangeable it!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Giving you a hug from across the screen ~ reading your question, I feel that you are a very organized student. Hee hee we are sometimes emotionally unstable at a certain period of time, may be because of too much pressure from work and study, or may be because of some other reasons. Weather also affects our mood, such as rainy and cloudy days, we will feel heavier and our mood will be relatively low. Barometric pressure can also affect our mood, when there is a sudden drop in barometric pressure, our mood will be irritable and impulsive. You want to fit in with the group, and you may not be able to do so on your own because your mood is relatively low. A roommate you know better has found another person, is it possible that she can tell you are in a bad mood and that's why she has found someone else? Dormitory queue you in the last, since the queue, someone has to be in the last ah, just coincidence, you in the last just. Are you wondering if this is jealousy or pure loss? I think it's more of a loss. This kind of mentality can not say that it is good or bad, can only say that it is a normal psychological reaction reaction. How about changing things? \ufe0f give yourself optimistic hints we sometimes suffered a little setback, always think of the bad side. The way to overcome this is to rather make optimistic fantasies, not to make negative guesses. \ufe0f appropriate exercise physical exercise can make the human body produce a series of chemical changes and psychological changes, you can choose to run, yoga, gymnastics and other favorite projects, sweaty feeling, will make you refreshed. \ufe0f and friends chatting heart confiding is one of the most effective ways to relieve emotions, whether it is around the housemates, or far away friends, have time to chat with them more. Express the bad emotions in your heart, and they are willing to help you. \ufe0f Work hard to improve yourself Believe that good people are welcome everywhere and improve yourself. Focusing your energy on your studies can make you forget your sorrows quickly. \ufe0fWatch a movie when you are particularly depressed, brush up on a comedy film, this empathy effect is very obvious. A little bit of little advice, I hope it can help you. May you become a better version of yourself.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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            "start": 35,
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            "start": 188,
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           {
            "start": 320,
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           },
           {
            "start": 622,
            "end": 631,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, changes in weather can often trigger emotional changes in people, and in your case, thunderstorms are obviously more likely to trigger a depressive emotional experience. When a person is angry, their emotional strength is usually extroverted, whereas when they are depressed, their emotional strength is usually introverted, and they are usually more sensitive and more likely to look inward and connect themselves to the people and things they encounter. From the subject's experience, it is that the collective that he wanted to integrate could not be integrated; the good people gathered easily, but he was not good enough; other people also have more familiar people, able to play together, while he was at the end of the queue even if they were together, feeling that he was not accepted by the dormitory as a collective, excluded, and there is no one else who can support him. It's hard to be isolated and unsupported. With such emotional experiences and feelings, the questioner is also confused as to why he or she is experiencing such emotions, such as loss, envy or jealousy, and whether they are good or bad, and how he or she will change them. Change is actually sort of the willingness to adjust seen in the subject's question, only the next sentence is denied by the subject himself, because the subject thinks that it is unchangeable, right? At the end of the day, change can't happen without willingness, and it's difficult for others to offer a helping hand. But I prefer to believe that the question has been asked, the first step has been taken, and it's just a matter of continuing next. Although the latter is a difficult and somewhat long process.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9505
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm a girl, I just started college, and I'm under a lot of pressure from my classes, what should I do?",
        "description": "Feeling anxious lately, gradually losing motivation to work hard, procrastination, no goal to a roommate is very annoying, before the emotional management is quite good, but now can not control themselves not to show their disgust for her",
        "keywords": "Growth, Work Study, Self Acceptance, Student Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject you look at your description can feel your anxiety and sadness, as well as want to change but do not know how to change the helpless, very heartbreaking for you, first to give you a comforting hug, we will look at the specific problem. #Analyze the problem #The question should be expressed two problems 1) just went to college, because of academic pressure, loss of motivation to study, no learning goals, you are very anxious. 2) and a roommate relationship is not good, and hate and can not hide their aversion to her, the mood is a little out of control. The two problems that seem to be not too related are actually affecting each other. High study pressure is likely to affect an individual's mood, while problems with social relationships can also affect one's studies, so when one problem improves, the other will slowly get better. #Problem solving#The problem of the questioner should be encountered by many children when they first enter college, which is a relatively common situation, the questioner should not be too anxious. This is a relatively common situation, and the questioner should not be too anxious. Because just entering the university campus, many people are the first time to live independently, facing people from all directions, different habits, a new way of learning and living, all have to have a process of adaptation. \uff5eStudy: University education is completely different from the previous education, a lot of self-study, so you need to make adjustments in the way of learning, there will be a process of adaptation. Therefore, the main thing to do is: 1) establish confidence, firmly believe that they can do it, in the face of setbacks to have the courage to persevere and faith. 2) enhance the ability to adjust the way and method to find a suitable learning method for their own, and continue to try to find a way through trial and error. 3) Finally, it is to put into action and stick to it. \uff5eSocial aspects: the problem of getting along with roommates, facing people from different places, you may have different living habits, values, etc., so it is easy to produce conflicts. 1) A situation: try to solve the problem between you, is there a misunderstanding? Through both sides of the calm communication and exchange if you can resolve the conflict, then each other can be more comfortable way to get along together, which is a better solution. 2) There is another situation, is really annoying, really can not stand the roommate, then can only do their best to reduce the time to get along with each other, try to minimize contact, to reduce the opportunity for conflict. I hope my answer can help, and I wish the questioner to get rid of the situation soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Owner I am also a student who has just started college, but I am attending a college, but I may be confused about my chosen major, and I don't have the confidence to do well in the classes I am taking. However, I am going to adjust my state properly in the near future, listen attentively in class and communicate with my teachers in time. You can also talk to your favorite teacher for help. You can also go to the school's college student mental health center to seek professional honest help, I believe that they will help you, you also need to rest well oh, don't be too tired. I wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4295
       },
       {
        "question": "A bad sports path, failing your parents, and living to only spend their money?",
        "description": "Practicing sports costs too much, recuperating from injuries for too long, failing your parents, and surviving only to spend your parents' money",
        "keywords": "Mood, Depression",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject ah ~ know from your message, you chose to practice sports this development path, parents in order to support you to pay a lot, you yourself is to pay a lot of time and energy. In the process of realizing your dream, you feel that practicing sports is a big economic investment, which may cause some pressure on your family, so you may think in your heart, after investing so much, you must have more than the return on investment, otherwise it will be very \"loss\", such a psychological gap, so that you feel that you have failed your parents. For your message, I would like to share some of my views: 1, pay must be proportional to the return? I think we all know that not necessarily, practicing sports, learning art, or common college entrance exams, are the same, we choose a path, often envision the success of the scenario, so there is a lot of motivation to move forward, but we sometimes imagine that there will be some idealization, the reality of the frustration and upset, always in the unawares in the flurry, so you encountered, more is the process of your goals in the process of the norm. Those outstanding athletes, not often experience injuries? 2, you must be very responsible for the choices you make, but in fact, some times, some of the choices for us is just a try, sometimes we love, like, may not be the most suitable path of development, every one of your efforts to recognize themselves, the process of recognizing the world, so in this journey, you are not gain nothing. Give yourself a hug~ actively recuperate your body and injuries, a good state of mind is helpful for recovery~ for now you are going through a period of low point, fortunately your parents have been supporting you, so don't give up, no matter if there is no change in the path of development you choose in the future, as long as you are still hopeful and positive to face life, it is not a let down for your parents hopefully it will give you some warmth and Comfort, good luck! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the owner: Anything you wish to be better, you have to give, but it may not necessarily be proportional between the effort and the reward. Coupled with the fact that many things are unpredictable, we may not be able to achieve the goals in our mind even if we try hard. The point is, what do you really think about the goal? Must you take this path? Too absolute mentality, it is easy to make the mood become frustrated, easy to get into a dead end can not get out, and gradually fall into despair. The truth is that we have many options other than sports charging ahead. Besides, our efforts, even if they don't achieve the expected returns, are definitely not in vain! With long-term exposure to the profession, you are bound to know a lot more about it than others. You can work in the neighborhood. Moreover, the long-term physical exercise, also honed your perseverance, you will be trained to have the advantages that ordinary people do not have. Find them, and then even if you change careers, you can use them to grow across borders! Good luck! You are the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello may be you rest too long, let you have this idea, this is very normal. I stood in your point of view will also think so, but you have not talked to your parents heart it, you are at home when recuperating, your parents have said to you very irritating words or performance it talk about myself. I once broke my foot once, more serious, lying in bed for 19 days long, to the hospital and so on are my father carried me to go, then I was about the same height as now, 165 tall 120 weight, then in the countryside, from the town of the hospital is very far. At that time, I thought, I am too incompetent, always give my parents trouble. But my mother smiled and told me, you are our child, no matter what you become, we will take care of you. I asked my mother at that time, 'If I stay like this for the rest of my life, will you still take care of me?' When I saw her nodding her head in the affirmative, I knew I couldn't give up on myself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Even though you don't know how old you are now, you should know that most of your life so far has been sports, but not all of it, and it doesn't mean that your life down the road will still be all about sports. You will be faced with more choices, and you may not be able to adapt to these choices at first, or even know how to do it, but it's more a matter of slowly learning from the past as you grow up. It may make you feel lost, but on the other hand, it's part of life. What seems to be your parents' perspective? What do you think they care about the most? For you to become a sportsman or to live your life well. If you really feel sorry for them, then what you should do now is to set a goal for yourself, just for this month you are going to do something, learn something so that you don't seem so fragile, and make something of yourself in the process of learning for the rest of your life. Facing life positively is a way of life. Facing life negatively is also a way of life. The right to choose is in your hands, you need to take good hold of it.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5773
       },
       {
        "question": "I want to take the counselor exam, but is there a psychology major on the College Entrance Exam?",
        "description": "I am a male, 26 years old. Personality is more withdrawn, want to take the counselor, on the one hand, a better understanding of themselves, on the other hand is to plan for the future, in advance to prepare for the thirty-five years old to change careers. Is there an age limit for the counseling exam? Or what are the directions I need to study?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Work-Learning, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi too many people are getting into spiritual growth because of their own problems and in their continuous growth, they start getting interested in psychology and want to develop professionally, same is the case with me. For the educational requirements, you can consult some training institutes or study in a platform will be a good option. I personally believe that professionalism is important, but spiritual growth is even more important, from their own original state of success to free themselves, in combination with the theory of psychology, and continue to practice, to be more capable of helping more people. I myself am growing at the same time, participating in the Q&A, not only to share my own growth experience, but also to exercise my own keen perception of empathy, is a very good opportunity to improve.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           {
            "start": 56,
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           },
           {
            "start": 90,
            "end": 155,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
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            "start": 155,
            "end": 209,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello ah, first give you a big hug ~ from the owner of the text, you can see that the owner is a positive and optimistic person, although the character of isolation, but the future has a clear and concise planning, this is very good it. I can't give you good advice about the specific psychological profession, but I know a little bit about the specialized college. There are two kinds of college education, one is for college students; the other is for working people, which is the so-called adult examination, and there is no age limit. Usually the adult examination will be a little easier, but the time will be a little longer accordingly. As for the direction of study, the owner needs to be clear about which direction he wants to go, after all, there are many branches under psychology. The owner can combine the opening of the psychology program of the university and the recruitment conditions of the psychological counseling office to choose. If you have the conditions, it is recommended that you enroll in a detailed consultation with the institution to learn more about it. If you don't have the conditions, you can study on your own on B-site, Mucous and other websites, and get some relevant certificates. In any case, it is right to work hard and insist. I hope my answer can help you. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject: there is a psychology program in the college, and you can get very comprehensive information by going to a local institution and consulting with them. Regarding the study of counselors, the platform's courses are very professional and very good. If you want to, you can study psychology in your undergraduate program and take a counselor course at the same time. If you have the energy you can combine the two, it will help you to absorb and understand the learning. Also you are at a particularly good age, so don't worry about age. I don't know if the above short answer can help, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, it should be noted that I do not know which kind of specialization you are, if it is the unified examination specialization, then many provinces are not psychology majors, the unified examination specialization in each province is not the same, it is recommended to choose their own major counterparts of the one. If you don't require a professional counterpart, if you want to learn psychology, it is recommended to take the teacher education class, business and management class, and psychology has a deeper relationship. Secondly, if you are a self-study undergraduate (specializing in this), that is, the kind of self-study while studying junior college, then some provinces have mental health education, applied psychology, this is the real psychology. If your province does not have, then please choose preschool education, social work, sociology, elementary education, human resources, business administration, civic education and other related majors. Thirdly, if you are already working, then it is recommended to choose adult college degree (online education, adult education, national opening), which does have psychology majors, only that the study is carried out in spare time and the cycle is slightly longer. Lastly, if you have graduated from college for more than two years, then you can choose to go directly to graduate school and choose a master's degree in psychology.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10730
       },
       {
        "question": "College student, nervous and anxious compulsive, how to relieve?",
        "description": "Recently, I've been very nervous and anxious, perhaps with some compulsion to keep checking over and over again, worrying about some bad things that might happen after I punch and swipe my card, but I still have to check it several times before I leave my seat to double-check that I haven't brought all of my belongings with me, and sometimes I will even go back to look at it specifically for peace of mind, especially worrying about getting hurt. I don't even realize it. The most recent one was when I went to the toilet, I suspected that I had left something inside and went in to check, then my bag hit the storage ladder, which fell down and hit my leg. Then I had repeated worry and anxiety wondering if the ladder hit my head and I just forgot or I didn't notice, and this worry is affecting my studies and life very strongly now. I thought about it over and over again during class, and in the end, I even felt that I should put down listening to the class and think about it first. If I get hit on the head, there is a possibility that I will become stupid, I am especially worried that I will become stupid, I have been a little bit since I was a kid but lately it has been especially strong. How can I alleviate this anxiety.",
        "keywords": "Behavioral, compulsive, anxiety, cluttering",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see the words. First of all. From your description, this situation must have a considerable impact on your life and study. It is not easy for you to have the willingness to take the initiative to seek help. You mentioned that you feel as if you are checking, which is a rather obvious compulsive behavior from a psychological point of view, so it cannot be ruled out that you may have a tendency to be obsessive-compulsive, and that anxiety and nervousness can exacerbate obsessive-compulsive behaviors. So they go hand in hand. Secondly. Repeated checking is mainly due to the existence of the state of no control over the things that have not happened or may happen, so it will be through the repetitive action to relieve the inner anxiety, but anxiety will affect the repetition of compulsive action, and this also shows that the inner lack of sufficient mental ability and mental quality to face the things that can not be controlled. Therefore, it is recommended to alleviate your symptoms through abdominal breathing, thus reducing the anxiety from the physiological conditioning first. Abdominal breathing must focus on their own breathing, and must be abdominal breathing! If you are not proficient at first you can place your hand on your abdomen and feel the rise and fall of your abdomen with each breath. Remember: no chest breathing, that will only make you more nervous. Finally. If you can, it is recommended to have professional counseling will be more helpful. After all, the formation and emergence of your problem is not a day or two, and the reasons behind these manifestations are the core of the problem. After all, this situation has already had an obvious impact on your life, if you continue to delay will only make the problem worse. We hope that you can solve the problem soon and no longer be trapped by it.",
          "has_label": true,
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        ],
        "questionID": 6010
       },
       {
        "question": "A little overly concerned about what you're wearing?",
        "description": "When you dress well, you will feel that there are a lot of people looking at you, but you do not like other people's eyes, and you like to be quiet, and when you do not dress well, you feel that you are very earthy and can not hold up your head.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, cluttering",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you a big hug! Hello subject, about some of your confusion: - Fear of attention from others when you are well dressed - Feeling that you can't hold your head up when you are not well dressed I don't know what the subject's criteria for being well dressed and not well dressed are. You are more concerned about other people's attention, in the end, how to evaluate you, in fact, how their own clothes, more of their own feelings, rather than based on other eyes to feel. When you feel that the clothes do not look good, you will feel that other people on your dress on the line rating: soil, this is actually just your own ideas imposed on other people. When you dress well, you are afraid that others will pay attention to you. [Do not like other people's attention] The subject is more concerned about dress is afraid of other people's attention. No matter how you dress, you will always feel that someone is looking at you and making some comments about you, and you are afraid that you will leave a bad impression. --- Focus more on what interests you Focus on what you care about, and you won't be overly concerned about what other people think. Go ahead and make more accomplished things so that other people's attention is on other aspects of your life. I wish you all the best! The above is a personal opinion, if you need to please chat privately oh, need more professional please find more professional counselor.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 17991
       },
       {
        "question": "18 year old girl cuts ties with her family, makes a living alone and is doubly depressed?",
        "description": "An 18-year-old girl has broken off relations with her family and is earning her living alone. She is often lonely and depressed.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Well, I'm sure it wasn't your subjective wish for this to happen. **At this age you should have been in school finishing your studies and having a wonderful teenage years, but you chose to cut off your relationship with your family, so imagine how much pain there was in between? How much helplessness, how much loss, how much despair. So it's normal to be alone, doubly lonely and depressed. You will think: ++Why are my parents like that? ++Why is my family not as good as others'? ++Facing the future, what should I do with my life? ......** In a family, there are children who run away from home due to the presence of \"pathogenic parents\". A few years ago, there was a discussion about \"parents are a curse\" that still resonates with many people. **So, what you can do or need to think about is: ## use the existing conditions and resources, to grow up, and later have their own families, to treat their children well, not as parents. ## Don't be trapped by your family of origin and learn to find your own happiness. ##Don't get caught in your own emotional traps, go grow, go live, go work. The heroine of the TV series \"Anjia\", Fang Xijin (Fang Siwei), was born in a remote countryside, where her mother was extremely patriarchal and demanding, and was obsessed with making her earn money to support the family and buy a house for her brother; she was almost abandoned by her mother to die in a deep well when she was still in her infancy, and was later picked up by her grandfather to be brought up. Luckily, she was loved by her grandfather. After years of being claimed by her mother, she decided to be brave to be herself, and no longer care about the family that only squeezes her blood and sweat ...... The heroine Su Mingyu in the TV series \"All's Well\" was not well off because she was a girl and her family was not well off, and she had two older brothers, who were not treated well by her and could not feel the warmth of the family. The family lifted the whole family and even sold the house to support the older brother to Stanford University, to buy points for the second brother to go to college to find a good relationship to find a good job, and their own, because the older brother to go to school, the room was sold by the mother, they can only live in the living room; on the top class mother did not give to go on, do not give to go on their own want to go to Tsinghua only to go to the teacher's training center, the mother said that you are a girl to be married in the future, and I am old enough to count on the older brother to pension do not count on you. You can imagine how painful Su Mingyu's heart is. But she didn't let her family bind her ideals, she still worked very hard and diligently, and finally found a sales job and became a white-collar or high-level corporate. She managed to get out of her family of origin.\u03b5Bless you. I am in, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "start": 121,
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            "start": 238,
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            "start": 329,
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            "start": 759,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The following is also a woman who was financially cut off from her father and separated from her father-daughter relationship. Later, she fell in love and had a child at the same time, but remained unmarried for the rest of her life. This is an excerpt of her story: 1894, Rome's Pincio Park, a young girl in her twenties is walking dejectedly. Suddenly, she met a beggar woman who stretched out her hand to her, and then the girl saw that beside the woman, a little girl of about two years old was sitting on the ground and playing with a piece of colored paper. A piece of colored paper, which adults would not care about, attracted the little girl's full attention and filled her with self-sufficient joy. The young girl found a spiritual power in the child's gaze and sensed that an important calling was upon her, and she eventually chose early childhood education as her life's work. 1896 the University of Rome awarded the girl the degree of Doctor of Medicine (M.D.), making her Italy's first female M.D. Soon after, the School of Medicine in Rome hired her to teach psychiatry and psychiatry. Soon after, the Medical School of Rome hired her as an assistant physician in the psychiatric clinic for children with mental and physical defects and mental illnesses. Here, bits and pieces of children's lives inspired her special interest in the study of neurological and psychological disorders in children. She began to read a great deal of literature on the subject, focusing on Ita's experimental report on the training of \"Aveyron feral children\" and Segen's book, \"Medical Care, Health Care, and Education of the Idiot Child\". In addition, she also put theory into practice and made on-site observations of the children in the inpatient unit. Once, in the hospitalization department, she happened to find some children always like to scratch on the floor of the small room where they were confined, as if \"looking for something\", she immediately called the administrator and asked the children whether they had used food, and the administrator replied that these children had just used food, and they had eaten a lot. So this phenomenon of grasping caused her great attention, and then after many on-site observation, thinking and recording, her mind came up with a novel idea: the reason why these children like to grasping in the open space, mainly to want to move their fingers, in order to satisfy their physical and psychological needs. Another time, Montessori found a child of about three years old, suddenly broke away from his mother's hand, picked up a piece of scrap candy paper from the ground, but also showed a particularly loving look. Regardless of the mother repeatedly reprimanded, the child just refused to throw away, see the child does not want to throw away, the mother tried to take out a piece of sweet and sweet cake to exchange the child's hands for the sugar paper, but still did not succeed. She is Montessori.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10298
       },
       {
        "question": "23 year old male, suspected of cheating on his girlfriend, very tormented what to do?",
        "description": "What happened in May this year, I live with my girlfriend, one day I went home, there was a condom left, and when I came back, I found that it was missing, I suspected that my girlfriend cheated on me, what to do, it's very tormented",
        "keywords": "Relationships, cheating, security, fights.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"There's one condom left,\" is a scenario in which you have an automatic thought \"I suspect my girlfriend is cheating on me,\" automatic thought is a thought that flashes through very quickly, it's a quick interpretation of the scenario by our brain, it's evolutionarily adaptive, like crossing the street, a car is coming, automatic thought: run now! It's an evolutionary adaptation, like crossing the street, a car is coming, automatic thought: run now! It is a shortcut thought and an idea. We need to go and evaluate this automatic thought, and here we introduce two concepts:idea and fact, the idea is one of our interpretations, the fact is objective.\" I suspect my girlfriend is cheating on me, \"Is it just an idea you have or is it a fact? There is a way: find evidence, or go directly to your girlfriend to ask. If it's false, then it's a catastrophic thought on your part. If the thought is true, then fix it.",
          "has_label": true,
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        ],
        "questionID": 5999
       },
       {
        "question": "You won't be sad if you don't fantasize?",
        "description": "Some things are actually very clear in the heart, in the people who do not care about you, your heart than anyone understands, only time and again fantasy, expect, deceive themselves, in order to a little bit good again to deceive themselves! Love you talent will protect you all around, for you to pay!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Vulnerability to Tears",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, feelings and time should be paid to those who are worthy of them to be responsible for themselves and like others. Care and warmth that you can't feel is no different from strangers, while you can be friendly to strangers, but keep your distance. From your description, I can feel your pain and sadness. You understand that those feelings and people you care about are nothing more than beautiful bubbles that can't give you the same response and care, but you still can't escape yourself. You can try to make yourself hard-hearted and simply disconnect from the relationships that consume you, one more illusion may make you fall into one more inch in the quagmire. Relationships, not we try very hard, can be as we wish. You give and tenderness, also not anyone can get. Loving yourself well, honoring your feelings, and stopping cheating on yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. There is enough sadness to go around, allow yourself to actively create joy and give yourself time to heal and self-heal, provided you break when you can. Sort out your current state of affairs carefully, make a decisive decision, and don't sway from side to side because of some tiny act of the other person. Real care, not once or twice to show good, but from the beginning to the end of the concern and warmth. Try to do something you are interested in, something you are willing to try, and take work, study, relationships, daily life and self-improvement seriously. When your time is filled with your own things and you can get pleasure and satisfaction from them, you will start to enjoy the state of being alone. It doesn't matter if you can't forget some memories for a while, when you decide to take a new path, you can look back and miss the scenery on the road you once traveled, as long as your feet don't stop, and you walk on the new path step by step, time will bring answers and new scenery. Good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 16060
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I help my child build confidence when I've been busy at work and neglected them before?",
        "description": "Previously busy work neglected the child, recently found that the child is not confident enough, not willing to express their own ideas, two days ago to take the child to visit relatives, the relatives of the child fancy my child's things, you can see that the child is very reluctant, but still gave it. In the past, the child would not be so squirmy",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Child Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answer can help you. \ufe0f**First of all, let's sort out your situation: \u25b2Because of the busy work neglected the child, \u25b2Children are not confident enough to express themselves, \u25b2Children go to the relatives are not generous twisted reluctance.  This stage of the child in the \"separation - individualization\" stage, on the one hand, will further recognize the separation of parents and others, to individualization, on the other hand, also gradually recognize the difference between self and others, also began to learn to put their own things firmly in the hand, but also learned to ask for others! and even to possess things. This is a stage in the development of a person's relationships that leads to new growth. This is normal. **Of course what you see in your child's case, which may slightly worry you, is: ++Will the child be too stingy? ++The child makes me feel a little ashamed? ++Will this become friendless? ++...... one learns to share is a normal behavior only when mentalization matures to a certain more advanced stage. As you said, the child's current behavior may also have the fear of loss and lack of confidence, so he is reluctant to share because he will feel that if he gives away something that is so hard to get, he won't know when he will have it again, so he is hesitant to do so. **The child is still small, in fact, recognize the problem is not too late, it needs to be in the daily life together to give the child more confidence and love. For example: == squat down and say to the child: baby, this is something you do right, but also very careful! ==Hug your child more often and tell him/her: Mommy and Daddy love you and we are always here for you. ==It's okay, you're good enough to do that. ==......\u03b5I'm here, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I don't know how old the child is? Children's problems are usually developmental. If you have neglected the development of your child's self-confidence, it is not too late to start now, as long as you realize the importance of educating your child, and realize that it is due to your own neglect, you can start immediately, and accompanying your child to grow up is the best way to cultivate your child's self-confidence. Playing games with your child builds self-confidence through play activities. Accompany your child to play adventurous and exploratory games, so that your child can feel the challenge of success. And so on and so forth. As time goes by, your child will be full of confidence.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How old is the child now. It's true that children grow differently when parents care for them and when they neglect them, but there really isn't that one item that very much corresponds to right or wrong, good or bad. Take, for example, the poor man's child is an early adopter. There isn't a very obvious must for both poor and rich parenting. But children are the fruit of love, and naturally they need love. Three years old, seven years old. There is also something to be said that a child's childhood will affect his or her later psychology. So, it's better to spend more time with him. For today's question, I would say, don't force your child to share. Really. Good luck finding the passage to be happy with your child.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20760
       },
       {
        "question": "I hate my father-in-law. I think he's a braggart and a snob. What should I do?",
        "description": "I'm 25 years old, college graduate, married for more than 2 years, and my husband results when I told him I have a history of mental illness, long-term medication. Eunuchs are rural people, before I did not know I had a mental illness but know that my husband knows about me, also did not do a sound, eunuchs always like to mutter behind the back, because for example, I buy a more expensive phone ah, 4,000 more, that I have a high education will not earn money, ah, in his eyes, I should have a college education salary earn more than my junior high school did not graduate from the sister-in-law high, never in front of other people said that I was good, I married my husband and I for more than 2 years. I've been married to my husband for more than 2 years. No house, when he wanted me to take the 80,000 dowry to build a house, I do not agree, the father-in-law has not helped us to pay back a penny, he himself still think he is very hard, I hate him, because I think he also look down on me, I think I'm a divorced family, the earning capacity is not good, I think he loves to brag, snobbery. He is very realistic. In addition to not having a house, we also have to pay back more than 100,000 yuan of debt before, because the money for the wedding is borrowed. I now do not know how to go back in the New Year to face the father-in-law, in his eyes sister-in-law did not graduate from junior high school everything with him to report. I don't want to become a sister-in-law. But I have to go back because my son is being raised by my in-laws, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relations",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Since your in-laws have a lot of resentment towards you and you don't like him from the bottom of your heart, then I think distancing yourself from him is a wise thing to do. But then you say that you have to go back to your son who is being raised by your in-laws, so you have created a predicament for yourself where you have to go back to see your in-laws as long as the child is still being raised by your in-laws. In this case, either you make the decision to bring the child to yourself or give it to someone else, then you do not have to see your father-in-law often; or you can only convince yourself not to pay too much attention to what your father-in-law says, after all, this is just his idea, and you have nothing to do with it. Maybe you'll just have to take it in one ear and out the other because he's raising and caring for the kids. Your father-in-law still seems to be contributing a little value to your family in that he is helping you with the kids. If you can only leave your kids with your father-in-law, then try not to pay too much attention to what he says, let him say what he says, we can't make everyone like us, there will always be people who can't find value in us. If we waste our feelings and energy trying to fight for it, then it's not worth it. Maybe the subject now to do is to focus on their own useful, valuable things above, such as father-in-law to help you bring up the child is enough, you also reached your purpose, as for let him say good words, say more and what is the use of it? Even if he appreciates you, what will it change? Can you give you a promotion and a raise? It's just that your heart is comfortable, but it is not much value, he can not decide your life, can affect your value to decide your life only your own. Don't worry too much about other people's eyes, you don't need to become your sister-in-law, you don't need to report everything to him, did he say that he must report or he won't take the child? If he can still help you raise your kids then he has his value, maybe look at that aspect and put up with it.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "A person's values and behavior are influenced by his or her own life experiences and life experiences, and have different characteristics and limitations. Your father-in-law, due to his rural background, perhaps lacking in cultural education and perhaps having been subjected to economic pressures, is deficient in insight and values, and has a limited view of economic interests, which will favor selfishness and self-interest, as well as some prejudices and different requirements in his view of women and daughters-in-law. Such attitudes and values and views on money, which are vastly different from yours, influence the behavioral responses he usually exhibits, and many differences and contradictions will be formed. Such differences and discrepancies are objective and deep-rooted for your father-in-law, and it is difficult to change them, but only to recognize and accept the existence of such differences. From your description, your father-in-law's approach is indeed unfair and has something to criticize. Some of his ideas and demands are unreasonable to you, and can only represent his own narrow-minded attitude and ideas. It's normal for you to be disgusted with him. But now that you are married to his son and you are related as a family, you have to face him sometimes and there is no escaping it. For things we can't escape and can't change, we can only learn to adjust our mindset to accept and face, and at the same time know how to maintain individual independence, grasp their own bottom line and maintain their own boundaries. Whatever your father-in-law's thoughts and behaviors are, they are his own business and cannot be controlled by you. You are affected by some of your own beliefs and thoughts about him, which affect your emotions and therefore your behavioral responses. In other words, he can't control your thoughts and behaviors, and you can't control his thoughts and behaviors, but you can control your own thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Whatever he thinks of you, how he evaluates and belittles you, is his business. As long as you maintain a self-confidence and a firm belief and attitude towards yourself, then you are what you are, and it has nothing to do with him, and you will not become a bad person because of his evaluation and belittlement. You are married to your husband, you are the head of your family, you have your own values and outlook on life, your own philosophy and way of life, your own home and family, all of which are under your own control. You care about your father-in-law's opinion and attitude, perhaps because you are worried about what he thinks and influences about your family and your husband, which affects the relationship between you and your husband, right? Indeed, as a son, your husband cares more or less about his parents' attitude. Therefore, your husband plays an important role as a coordinating intermediary between you and your father-in-law. Your description basically talks about your father-in-law's affairs, as well as your family's affairs, but there is no mention of your husband's situation. What is his attitude toward you? What is his attitude and reaction to his father? What are his thoughts on the financial problems your family is facing? And so on. Your husband's attitude is important, whether he understands, agrees and supports you or not is the strongest thing you can rely on to face the pressure given by your father-in-law. Therefore, you should have good communication with your husband, strive to reach a consensus, form a family alliance, together to face the pressure and influence given by the family of origin, and be able to defend you and support you in front of your parents, help you to speak and coordinate the relationship, give you enough security, and reduce your worries and pressure. When facing your father-in-law, you just need to do your part in the family rituals, maintain your positive attitude and generous behavior, so that he can't nitpick at will and has no more reasons to belittle you. No matter how many unreasonable demands he has, they are just his own thoughts. As long as you have the confidence, persistence and bottom line for yourself, and your husband's understanding and support, I believe you will have enough strength and courage to face your father-in-law's judgment, and frankly face his prick. Good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 4070
       },
       {
        "question": "When looking for a counselor, is it okay to judge a book by its cover?",
        "description": "I'm looking for a suitable counselor, but I can't accept telling my heart to a man or a woman whose appearance I don't like, and I'm disgusted by that feeling, but I also feel that I'm thinking strangely. After all, the search for a counselor should have nothing to do with appearance or gender, but I only want to accept a female counselor who I think is \"pretty\", because only then will I feel comfortable to talk about it. But when I searched for a counselor with such criteria, I felt guilty, like I was doing something unreasonably bad. I am also confused, is it okay for me to do this? Why do I feel this way?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Here to talk about my insights. Why there will be eye contact this said, eye contact science, subconscious and experience accumulation of external manifestations. The attraction of the word is that, the higher the similarity similarity, the greater the attraction, both men and women. Appearance similarity, the opposite sex attraction, the original and the afterbirth of the husband and wife are so; personality similarity, same-sex good friends and girlfriends. So the counselor is also attractive, people will instinctively feel that people close to them are more trustworthy, more willing to continue with him in the long term. Love of beauty, there is no need to blame yourself, beautiful people naturally like with their own as beautiful people, I think I look pretty, I will find will tend to like to contact with a little bit of beautiful people to socialize, so why everyone wants to clean up their own pretty up, this is the reason. The most important thing is that you have to be able to get the best out of your life, and that's why you need to be able to do it. Before thirty, you rely on your parents, but after thirty, you rely on yourself. If you are relaxed and accepting, your face looks softer, and you feel more affinity, then the counselor may be more inclusive. There is also an aura of temperament that emanates from the counselor, which is also important for interpersonal attraction, and the counselor also needs to attract and match. The following is professional advice: Trust your own feelings when reading the counseling introduction and viewing the counselor's photo, become aware of your own feelings, find the one that makes you feel comfortable, and pick a counselor. Your feelings are very important in counseling. You need to be aware of and evaluate, within this list of counselor candidates, their photos, bios, videos, articles, etc.. For example, does this counselor make me feel safe, comfortable, and trustworthy? Or does he or she make me feel nervous, distant or intimidated? Who would make me feel more comfortable going into counseling, the \"authoritative\" one or the \"warm\" one? With the limited information available to you, choose from your list of counselors the one you feel comfortable working with, according to your feelings. Which is better for me, a male or a female counselor? It is more important for you to feel relaxed and trusting than gender. During counseling, counselors are unconsciously treated as anyone, such as parents, children, relatives and friends. Both male and female counselors can help you gradually face and deal with possible relationship troubles with significant others around you during the counseling process. The counseling process can also help you learn how to authentically integrate different gender roles, as we all have both male and female parts within us. You can intuitively choose a counselor of one gender or, after a while, switch to a counselor of the other gender. Then, see how gender affects the counseling relationship differently, and whether it helps you make progress in resolving different relationship difficulties with the same sex, or the opposite sex. The counselor's personal situation has little to do with the content of the counseling, and unmarried people who are not pregnant can also do marriage-related counseling. Just as the gender of the counselor does not necessarily affect the counseling, the degree of professionalism and empathy is the core key.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Subject First of all, of course you can do this, there is nothing wrong with it. Secondly, why are you doing this? You mention a phrase as if this is doing something bad, which creates a sense of guilt. This guilt is particularly worth exploring. Where does this guilt come from? How am I guilty of choosing a counselor that I look good with? I have a wild guess, could it be that there are people in your life who often tell you some \"standards\" and \"answers\", and that anything that doesn't conform to them is wrong and bad, or even make you think that you are bad and sinful when you violate the so-called standards. There is also a guess as to whether you will often take care of the feelings and opinions of those on the outside and doubt your own, afraid to confirm the validity of your own feelings and opinions. Is it possible that when you were growing up, every time you had a feeling or expressed a viewpoint, it was invisible, ignored or suppressed, and slowly you began to doubt your feelings and viewpoints too? Believe in yourself, your feelings are the most important thing. May you become a person who accepts and loves yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 10309
       },
       {
        "question": "What about eating irregularly when you'd rather starve if you don't eat well?",
        "description": "If I think the meal I'm eating is good, I'll eat two more bowls, and if it's not, I'd rather starve and not eat a single bite... what can I do to regulate this?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, overeating and dieting",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone for their favorite food, will be very willing to eat, and do not like to eat, generally will not force themselves to eat, you can try to avoid eating their own do not like to eat (or with a balanced, can not be too picky about food, yo), the regular meal time is still very important to yourself, for not like to eat, if it is said that can still be accepted in the case of learning to slowly accept, do not come with an absolute! Exclusionary mentality, or more can't eat, really can't eat more meals, do not have to ask yourself to eat very very full, as long as the reasonable adjustment and collocation is good.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 19850
       },
       {
        "question": "What if a girl, 18 years old, is caught stealing 10,000 from her grandmother cumulatively?",
        "description": "Girls, hours on the habit, elementary school, stole the family several times money, but also take the grandmother's, would like to buy snacks rushed game cards, just a few times, and then the number of times more grandma checking the accounts on the exposure. Later, the old man in his bedroom set up a very traditional cabinet, on a copper lock, it is inexplicable, I one day pry open that lock, there are a lot of change, but at that time I have been junior high school, I usually only take five, ten dollars, I like to read novels, no cell phone, I took the money to buy physical books. (So far undetected) and then later in the mom in the closet clothes purse has a lot of 100, I also secretly used to buy books, of course, was found. After high school, I accidentally know the grandmother's Alipay password, online classes during the Kryptonite game, crazy recharge, 10,000 recharge most of the way in. After the college entrance exams have a cell phone, and spend a lot of money, soon money is gone, on the Alipay transfer, soon 10,000 is gone. Today back to school, the old man a phone call over, I realized that was found out, lost everyone's trust. When I was a child to now, parents did not give pocket money awareness, family tension, low self-esteem within the character of introverted, and now the external performance lively and cheerful, grades have been good.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Conduct Disorder",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, I read your account and thought of what I went through when I was a kid. When I was in elementary school, I used to take change from home to buy myself drinks and snacks. Recently I understood this behavior of mine at that time in the middle of group counseling. I was actually stealing money to compensate for my emotional needs, and I was also using the money to buy snacks to relieve my anxiety. So, I probably understand how you feel. Stealing money comes with the risk of being discovered, something that is inherently challenging. This nervous and exciting behavior is really about waiting for your family to find out and expecting to be allowed and accepted. Being allowed to spend money, in my understanding this is love. You were closer to your grandmother, what about your mom? I had no memory of my mom as a child and didn't meet her until I was in my 30s. You spend money, buy yourself books, or top up on games, all of which are actually a desperate lack of companionship, and use it to relieve anxiety and loneliness. You feel like asking for money is a very difficult time, and you're afraid of seeing the sad faces of adults. So you choose to quietly take the money yourself without letting them know. You are taking on the emotional stress for the adults. What you call losing everyone's trust could actually be a re-enactment of the emotional trauma of being abandoned by your mom. Your inner child, then, still needs to be loved and cared for. I recommend you do some positive thinking meditation. In the \"Academy\" of the platform, there is a Meditation Planet, which has a lot of positive thinking meditation exercises. I've seen that I've accumulated more than 3,000 minutes of positive thinking practice, which has helped me a lot. I recommend a few positive thinking meditations for you to practice once a day for a few weeks to get clearer about what you are asking for. \"Healing the Inner Child\" - The memories of childhood trauma in the body are all kinds of negative emotions. There is an inner child within everyone, and this inner child is those emotions that we can't face and are repressed, all of which need to be seen; \"Acceptance of Imperfection\" - helps you to accept yourself more and be less self-critical; \"Listening to yourself\" - everyone has the wisest, most representative voice within them. This exercise will guide you to listen deeply to yourself, explore your deep inner thoughts, free your heart, and unlock your own path with inner wisdom. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! @ Through your description, I sense your panic. Perhaps my feelings may be biased, but I realized from your description that your emotions are more weighted in shame and helplessness for fear of blame and consequences, and you did not point out your own faults. Stealing is a serious offense, and even if it's your own money, it's still someone else's property. In the beginning, it may be a small attempt, but after that, you gradually become skillful and addicted to it, as in your case, the more you steal, the bigger it becomes. You need to stop the wrong thing from the beginning, the first attempt is like pushing open the door to sin. @The source of such wrongdoing probably also comes from one's own concept of money, and family education about it is probably lacking. Not all families have the habit of giving pocket money regularly. In my family, my parents give me money when you need it, and not every request is accepted because of my family's condition. However, my parents always told me how hard it was to get money in everyday life. When I was little, they bought me a piggy bank and told me to save the money I had left over from helping with groceries and from playing games while doing chores and counting labor, and to take it out when I bought snacks, so that I would treasure it. Originally, when I was caught the first few times, my parents or elders should have corrected my mistakes. But it's the feeling that there's no consequence for making a mistake or failing to make you, the subject, realize the seriousness of the matter that continues to perpetuate the behavior. <<My advice is: 1. Don't be afraid, it's only right to be punished for a mistake. The other person is your parent will not do anything against you. You have to be clear about the intent of the punishment. When a person makes a mistake, why should they be punished. To learn a lesson, to impress and more importantly to realize what was wrong. Some parents like to use physical punishment, that's because they think that if they don't link the consequences by physically enduring the pain, the child won't realize the mistake. Similarly showing anger and bullying and intimidation are both meant to impress you. After it is clear what your parents are trying to do by punishing you, do you know what to do, subject? It is to first think deeply about the matter first, do not try to shirk the responsibility; or mute with no indication. Yes, parenting is important. But life is yours, the choice to do this thing is also your own decision, not everyone who lacks money sense will make a mistake.2. Get rid of the shame of admitting mistakes. Just because you don't admit to a mistake doesn't mean you can get away with it. Try to review it with candor and convey your remorse in words. It's not just about admitting I did it, it's about thinking about what happened. Make a promise, a precise promise, about the money that was taken! I.e., what you intend to do to make it right. No one's money comes easy, least of all grandma's. She may have all the money now from her children and grandchildren, but it's also a gift from the children she worked so hard to raise for half her life. Now there is no independent financial ability, it does not matter, you have to keep promises, have to bear. So that the people around you can trust you again. Actions are sometimes more persuasive than words. I hope my answer can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ from the owner of the description of the understanding, since childhood you have always had the head of the family money habit, although able to recognize the error in their behavior, but it seems that just can not be corrected, when you stole less, the family did not find, and now stealing more, was found by the family, I do not know what to do? From your story, it verifies what my grandmother told me when I was a child: steal needles when you're young, steal gold when you're older. Many bad habits are slowly developed from small behaviors. Many people often don't realize the inappropriateness of their actions and thankfully are still aware of the problem. You are now 18 and an adult and should be responsible for your own behavior. It's not scary to do something wrong, and knowing that it is used to admit your mistakes and make substantial changes will still make you a good kid in the eyes of mom and dad and grandma and grandpa. My advice to you is to take the initiative to confess your mistake and promise your parents that you will never do it again. However, admitting your mistakes also means that you have to you have to be able to accept their criticisms and accusations. Some parents may mainly criticize and educate, and won't say some harsh words. But there are other parents who may say things that make you feel embarrassed and may hurt you a lot. So, the process may be a bit painful, but you will have a new life experience when you completely change your bad behavior! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you got a call after you returned to school and you felt the loss of everyone's trust, perhaps this is a crisis in which there is an implied opportunity for change that you need and must make. [Understanding Your Psychological Needs] There is a summary of the past in order to move forward better. You also realize that you have been taking money from your family, in fact, partly because your family does not have the sense to give pocket money, and on the other hand is it not a pleasure to make your own decision to buy some things? There would be some sense of control. You mentioned prying open a cupboard to get money once would there also be some thrill of adventure here. Or what about the feeling that making your family angry makes you a little bit happier? Is it possible that you have some resentment toward your family for not giving you an allowance or not paying enough attention to you? Seeing your true psychological needs, you will realize that there are other ways to satisfy them. [Regaining Trust] When you feel that you have lost everyone's trust, I think deep down you are actually looking forward to regaining their trust. Trust is built on honesty and communication. Have you ever sincerely apologized to your family? You may think that apologizing is useless and they won't believe it, but by expressing your apology, you are actually more of a reminder to yourself that you are determined to never make the same mistake again. If you can change the pattern of secretly spending money from home, you will definitely have a greater sense of control over yourself and over your belongings, and it's a great opportunity to grow, come on! I hope my answer has helped you in some way.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "About the whole thing about a kid who steals other people's money to get what he wants when he has no earning power to fulfill his own desires, and doesn't feel guilty about it. I pondered this for years and could never figure out why. Then I understood that the behavior is received as desire-driven, the ego doesn't care about morals and rules, the child's vestibular frontal cortex is not fully developed, reasoning and self-control are insufficient, and of course there is a lack of adequate and appropriate homeschooling. Also your ability to find ways to fulfill your needs, albeit in the wrong way, is an expression of your ego's functioning and a way for you to seek independence. Next you may have to suffer the costs of your wrongdoing in various ways, fortunately you took money from your family, and by not going to the police, you don't have to suffer the legal penalties. But you need to be prepared for your family's disappointment, anger, and the way they express it. You're 18 years old, and you may have forgotten that you actually have the ability to get money. Like various summer jobs. You can certainly have what you want, except only if you need to put in your own effort to do so, behaviors that make you feel proud of yourself and self-reliant. Control desires that are beyond your capacity and delay their fulfillment according to your reality. That's why you need to learn, clarify and abide by some moral and legal boundaries, and desires that have to stop before them. So admit your mistakes, reflect on them and make remedial behavior. But don't use this to constantly blame and demean yourself, you just did the wrong thing and took matching responsibility for it. Just take this as a warning, and maybe you'll be glad later that you got caught this time. Best wishes for peace!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject hello, read your question feel you also recognize their own problems but just can't change, can't help it, you are also very distressed, first of all to give you a big comforting hug. As for the subject of the money was found how to do, first of all, the subject of this matter should certainly take the initiative to recognize their own mistakes with the family, try to make up for the fault. However, to fundamentally solve the problem of the subject, you may also need to find the specific reasons, according to your description, this behavior began when you were a child, there are three or four times, this requires the subject to find their own deep-seated reasons, probably can be analyzed from two directions 1) you mentioned that the family relationship is tense, the parents do not have to give the habit of pocket money, with the increase in the age of the individual's material needs increased, so You don't have the money to buy what you want before you go to secretly take money, this is a possibility. 2) There is also the subject has not thought about whether the parents give not enough care and support, you take the money motivation is to seek more attention from parents and elders? In fact, no matter which one, I think the owner in the family may lack the necessary communication, whether it is the material level or spiritual level needs, if the owner try to communicate with parents and elders, the real needs of their own heart to express, get the parents to recognize, may help to solve the owner's problem. I hope my answer can help you, and I also hope that the owner will soon get rid of the situation. Bless you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "What can you do when your parents won't give you money, but your child has a real need for it? It seems like the only thing to do is to sneak it. People may not want to admit it, but the fact is that many, many children have had the experience of stealing money from their own family, just more or less, or not taken a few times before they were found out, or taken for a long time before their parents found out. Children have no concept of stealing, they don't know what stealing is, they just know how to fulfill what they want. But when they grow up, this kind of behavior is a must. If you want something, remember to tell your parents, and if they don't give it to you, you can only rely on your own ability to earn some to get what you want.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The hard feelings you have may not be because you took grandma's money, but the fact that your family found out that you took grandma's money, and people think that your impression or orientation towards you has changed because you took the money in secret. But think about it, every child needs pocket money but their parents don't give it, and they take money from their loved ones in order to fulfill that need. It is a kind of behavior to satisfy their own needs. In fact, your loved ones, you thought they would give you a bad impression, but they don't keep it in mind, they know that you are a loved one who takes some pocket money, and don't say that you comment that you are a bad kid, and thinking about that should be a relief. A little older, is this little thing not over is over the top and trivial.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 7359
       },
       {
        "question": "Men get drunk and start rehashing old scores and nonsense! What kind of mentality?",
        "description": "Men start to turn over old scores after drinking. It is said that men have a big heart and do not care. But as long as a drink, it is like a changed man, disturbing, six relatives do not recognize!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Drinking makes you bold. Generally after drinking to vent people, in fact, is very depressing. They are usually in the rational control, under the effect of alcohol, mental exuberance, pressure in the heart of a long time of dissatisfaction and grudges naturally exposed, after drinking is their vent. So it makes sense not to argue with drunk people. The family's own understanding of some misunderstandings and prejudices can try to resolve in peace of mind, it is difficult to solve the moment, allow him to drink a few words of complaint, after all, the day still have to move forward.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5625
       },
       {
        "question": "What is wrong with a 20 year old female who has always had a tendency to overeat off and on for the last year?",
        "description": "A 20-year-old girl has always had a tendency to overeat off and on in the last year, and every time after overeating she is in pain, blames herself, doesn't want to do anything, and is always imagining things. Prolonged overeating also caused physiological conditions, such as gastrointestinal discomfort, always bloating, stomach pain when running, and so on.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, clutter, binge dieting, emptiness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, first of all hugs to you. In your question you talk about how you have intermittent binge eating and that eating doesn't bring you fulfillment, instead it makes you feel pain and self-doubt. I can understand your feelings very well. Overeating is just a surface phenomenon, let's analyze the deeper reasons together. Behind overeating, shopping, and so on, there is a hidden heart that has not been fully satisfied and cared for. Please think back to when you were a child, did your parents give you enough love and companionship? Were your parents able to meet your normal material and emotional needs in a timely manner? Did your parents always praise you or criticize you? As a matter of fact, if the needs of the child are not met, the seed of \"scarcity\" will be planted in the child's mind. Some children's material needs are not met because of family circumstances; some children's emotional and companionship needs are not met because their parents are too busy at work or work outside the home. These unmet needs will remain in the child's heart until he grows up. What he did not get as a child, he will ask for from his surroundings when he grows up. If the child does not receive enough love and attention as a child, the child will grow up to ask for love from people around him, especially his partner, and hope to receive attention from his partner all the time, and if he does not receive attention, he will feel especially anxious because he is \"not loved anymore. Face your heart. Take a moment and hug yourself for the times when you may not have gotten enough attention, love and care. Look straight inside yourself and ask yourself what you want most, what you want most, or what are the things you want but haven't gotten yet. We can't change the past, but what we can do is to satisfy our own hearts from here and now. Loving yourself is the fundamental way to heal everything. Take care of yourself emotionally and physically, make peace with yourself, make peace with your past, make peace with your family of origin. Try to encourage yourself, satisfy yourself, and please yourself. You will find that you grow up and mature a lot when you can live a full and happy life without relying on the strength of others. Being able to face life and life itself independently is the most empowering manifestation of you. So, behind overeating is the problem of needs. Once the problem of need is solved, naturally you will not overeat. There is no need for you to be anxious and worried or to blame yourself because, it is not your fault. Loving yourself and caring for yourself is the fundamental way out of the problem. Hope this helps, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4242
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it that when you're working, you're full of efficiency and when you're doing your own thing, you procrastinate?",
        "description": "When you are working, you are very efficient and feel like you can't stop. But when I get home to do my own side work, I start to procrastinate and get tired after a while, so how do I adjust this state?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, laziness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, you seem to be a very hard working and diligent person who has to do some side work in addition to your own job. You are also a person who is very strict with yourself, no matter what you do, you have to keep yourself efficient at all times. In fact, everyone's energy is limited, there are times of fatigue, whether it is the physical or mental level, relaxation, distraction, or even slacking off, which should also belong to is a kind of normal. In addition, for this side job, and the job compared to what you see the difference between you, if they simply see them as two different jobs, respectively, to bring your feelings and how it is? When procrastinating in doing this side job, is it a signal from within that is sending you something? Are there any concerns about yourself if you allow such procrastination? I am an assistant counselor at Huiming, and I have some personal thoughts that I hope will help you a little bit. Finally, I would also like to give you a piece of Mr. Chen's message: Having lived in the city for a long time, I am still in love with the tranquility and serenity in the countryside. I love the quiet time of reading books, and I also love the hot-blooded feeling of sweating on the field, enjoying the full 40 kilometers of the marathon when I finish running. However, when I traveled to dozens of countries in Asia and Europe, experienced a variety of exotic customs, only to find that their own home is their soul, the most beautiful, the most warm home. And, reading through the past and present, experiencing the world, only the heart is the source of power in life, the rest of the harbor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4349
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I have been transferred to a college major and experience psychological depression, insomnia, and a lot of pain?",
        "description": "I am a candidate in Jiangsu this year, the science exam 389 filed in the South China University of Economics and Law results were transferred to the Department of Philosophy I do not know what to do with the psychological depression, insomnia, I gave up Xiamen University's strong base program review, but also gave up with the signing of the Hohai University of Nanjing, I do not understand the significance of the college entrance exams in the what I am really very painful",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depression, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems that the college entrance exam is especially important to you, so much so that there are these unexpected situations that make you feel out of control and fearful, and these situations are understandable because the goal of students every day before they go to college is to study hard in order to get into a good college in the future, so this almost 20 years of goal seems to be ruined at the end, and there is a feeling of the world collapsing, and you don't know how to deal with it. I suggest that you calm down the mood, and then see if there is no way to save, if you can not change, I suggest that you first accept, because some universities are able to change majors, so that you can turn to the profession you want, and on a university if you want to go to graduate school in the direction of the profession, then the profession is very important to you, if only to find a job after graduation, a lot of graduates do not look for a job, so the university to be happy! The first thing you need to do is to get on the right track, and don't think too much about it. Because I am a university in Jiangsu, and successfully changed majors, graduated to find a job that does not match. Lastly, I wish you all the best in your endeavors and have fun in college!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13273
       },
       {
        "question": "My husband doesn't have a job and my mother-in-law always makes me irritate him, what should I do?",
        "description": "My husband and I have been married for over 2 years and I am still in school, a sophomore in my undergraduate program, and my family still pays the tuition, and my family still pays the living expenses every month because my husband's job is unstable. My husband has a car loan to pay off, and it's always my mother-in-law who takes it. Sometimes I will borrow from my family, but he still did not go out to work, at home has been more than half a year, always like to go fishing, he also said that he felt useless, know that he now stayed a long time began to be lazy do not want to work, but it seems that he is always out of the step, I do not know how to change his situation, but not to stimulate him. And my mother-in-law often let me pressure him, and now often mention that she wants him to come home, that is, just let him come home to watch the house and stay there, and she goes to work, but then we have to be in a different place, to be separated, and this scares me, because if we are separated, I'm afraid that I will really leave him, because I'm very dependent on him. But on the one hand I don't want my parents to be too tired, after all, I'm married yet I'm still asking them for money and my mother-in-law doesn't mention it, she always says how much she takes and that I don't care that my husband is too spoiled. That's why he's like this. Let me bring up divorce or something to scare my husband, but I'm afraid that he'll really leave me that way. I'm in school now and can't work full-time, so I just make a little money every month, only a few hundred, I don't know what to do!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Management, Mother-in-law and Son-in-law",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Through your description, I see you and your husband and your mother-in-law, three people, two families, in a state of entangled symbiosis, with unclear boundaries and no successful separation. Your mother-in-law's behavior shows that she is a controlling mother. Your husband also shows a lack of independence and maturity. Maybe they used to grow up in such an environment and upbringing, where the mother interfered a lot with the son, and the son got used to his mother's strong substitution behavior, arranging his life for him, worrying about his work, earning money for him, and even trying to solve the problems between him and his wife for him. Your mother-in-law intrudes too much into your family, interferes too much, doesn't yet see her son as an independent adult, doesn't trust him, and doesn't think he's capable of facing his own life independently and solving his own and his own family's problems. She says you spoil your husband too much, when in fact she is the one who spoils your husband the most and has spoiled him. You did the right thing by not listening to her instructions to threaten your husband. Leaving aside the question of whether or not she has any bad intentions, this kind of \"provocation\" is often only counterproductive, is a very stupid behavior, but also will affect your husband and wife's feelings and intimacy. Because your husband will not think that it is his mother's idea, but will be resentment in your body. ****** The key to changing this current state of affairs lies with the least present of the three of you - your husband. He is at the center of these problems. When you first chose to get married under these circumstances, perhaps you didn't think too much about it at the time and just got married out of love, but in fact there are a lot of less mature places, and you don't yet know what family and marriage are, and you don't know how you should take on the responsibility of the family. Your husband is not willing to go out to work, is the face of pressure from the family, at the same time by his mother's pressure and blow, the formation of a kind of \"learned helplessness\" state, have no confidence in themselves, do not have the consciousness and is not willing to take up the responsibility of the family, so just want to escape. And although you have the heart, will think a lot, but because you are still in college, can not take too much responsibility. But comparatively speaking, your husband is the one who is more capable of taking up the responsibility of the family in this family, and it should be taken up by him for the time being. He must face the reality, learn to be independent and grow up, and learn to solve the problems he faces. ****** You can have a good talk with your husband, so that he understands his own responsibilities and the current problems faced by his family, and discuss how to solve the financial problems, how to improve themselves, look for job opportunities, develop a side business, and manage their finances, etc. You are the most important person behind your husband. You are the most important supporter behind your husband, you rely on him, but also to allow him to trust you, rely on you, rather than something to seek his mother's \"help\". You need to give your husband more trust and respect, and give him more encouragement, support and help. This kind of help is not to ask for money from your parents, but to encourage and help your husband to grow up independently. You can put appropriate pressure on your husband, this pressure is not threatening him with divorce, but from the normal pressure of taking on family responsibilities. For the mother-in-law's side, you and your husband should reach a consensus, form an alliance, have a sense of nuclear family, try to avoid being too much interference in your affairs by your mother-in-law, help you make decisions, to fight for your own independence to face and solve. Otherwise you will always be under the control of your mother-in-law, and your husband will never be able to grow up independently and take responsibility for your own family and live the life you want. You have to accompany your husband to face the difficulties of life together, continue to learn and refine together, learn to be independent and grow together, and move forward together. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello, hug you ah ~ can understand your fear of losing feelings, and feel that you are a very gentle wife, do not want to use words to hurt each other, I hope my advice can be a little help to you ah ~ careful use of motivation. According to your description, \"my mother-in-law let me mention divorce to scare my husband, but I'm afraid that he will really leave me\", it can be seen that you are really hesitant to use this method to motivate your husband. In fact, whether to use this method depends on your husband's character, if your husband is good at transforming pressure into motivation, then you can choose to properly use language to motivate him, if your husband is a person who is not good at resolving pressure, then it is best not to use this method, it may make him produce negative emotions. So you can choose to motivate your husband according to what you know about him, and you don't have to listen to everyone's opinion. It seems that your description, \"I'm in my second year of undergraduate studies, and I can't work full-time because I'm in school\", is actually the first time I've seen your situation, and in your opinion, you may be burdened with the double pressure of school and life, but look at it from another angle: you have more happiness than your classmates, the happiness of your family, and maybe this happiness can be your motivation to move forward. Maybe this happiness can be your motivation to move forward. And to solve the problem, you don't have to keep all the pressure to yourself, you can communicate with your husband appropriately, and bear the pressure of life together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5044
       },
       {
        "question": "Can a counselor see into the heart of another person's mind?",
        "description": "In the image of many people: counselors have a deep gaze and can see through the inner thoughts of others. Therefore, many people stay away from counselors, fearing that they are transparent in front of them. Can a counselor know what's going on in the mind of another person?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The answer is no. Many people think that a counselor is a deep thinker who can see right through you. However, this is not true. Counselors do not have such supernormal capabilities. Many people have questions when they hear this: Since you don't know what I think, how can you help me? Even if I tell you lies, you don't know, so how can you carry out your work? Visitors who come for counseling come to the counselor with problems. Most visitors want the counselor to provide a once-and-for-all solution that will solve the problem. The truth is that counselors don't do that, nor can they. The counselor usually guides the visitor to recognize the source of the problem, search for the root cause of his or her own inner conflict, so that the visitor can grow and explore ways to solve the problem. This process of growth and exploration is not easy, but rather painful. Therefore, the process of counseling is essentially a process in which the counselor guides the visitor in the process of self-exploration. The key to the solution still lies in the visitor. According to foreign survey statistics: in judging the success rate of lies, psychological counselors and police, personnel and other professionals about the same, only a little higher than ordinary people. Visitors spend the consultation fee to do counseling, if he does not cooperate with the counselor, intentionally tell lies with the counselor, want to test the counselor, then the counseling will lose the meaning of existence, the loss is the visitor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Counselors are actually not as sacred as you think, they are also normal human beings, just their profession is very special, their task is to eliminate the distractions for those who have distractions in their minds, or to let them out of the shadows because of something, is not to know the things that others think about in their hearts, in fact, everyone has a story, not to say that you will be in front of the counselor is a transparent person, you can talk to him and he also You can talk to him or not, he is just a scientific method to have your thinking perspective to help you. I'm glad to know you, I hope the above my answer to help you, don't think nonsense Oh, in fact, it's not so bad, if you don't mind, I'm willing to listen to your story!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The counselor is exploring the discovery through communication by the counselor and the help seeker together. The counselor cannot see through the seeker if the seeker does not express truthfully to the counselor. In the process of counseling, the counselor and the client are equal partners. There is no need to worry about being seen through by the counselor. Counseling is a process where the counselor assists the client in getting to know the unknown self.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15266
       },
       {
        "question": "Why can't I listen to my mom? Why do I hate my mom so much?",
        "description": "My mom told me not to speak too truthfully at work, it hurts people. I said how can I work later if I don't explain things seriously at work. She says I talk too hurtfully and directly. I said that's work! Please don't disturb me! Why can't I listen to my mom? In fact, I know myself how I should talk and how to take the right amount of time! Why does she disturb me and make me angry left and right!",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I can see that your mom is very concerned about you, she is worried that you are \"too direct\" in your work affecting the interpersonal relationship, but in her heart she hopes that you will be able to work smoothly. The way she expresses herself will make you feel rejected and misunderstood, and you will not receive her recognition of your work. On the one hand you know that your mother is concerned about you, but on the other hand you feel bound, suppressed and denied, so you feel angry. Your heart is disturbed because you feel your value is being denied because you think you know how you should speak and how to take the blame. But on the other hand you feel that your mom meant well and how could you hurt her heart by hitting her back like that? So you are shaken and doubtful about yourself again, and your heart begins to flutter. This contradictory and confusing, loving and hating feeling makes you very uncomfortable. In fact, mom is just reminding you out of her past experience that it may not always be right for you. If it feels right to you make the appropriate adjustments, and if it doesn't feel right, there is a flexible way to tell her, okay mom, I know you care about me, don't worry. I know what to do. There's no need to go toe-to-toe with her to have to prove yourself right and her wrong, or to make sure she understands you, because we've grown up, and we can be flexible and nimble about what our parents expect and demand of us.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           },
           {
            "start": 183,
            "end": 264,
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           },
           {
            "start": 264,
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           },
           {
            "start": 293,
            "end": 355,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 355,
            "end": 430,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs! In fact, many of us will not be able to express the feelings correctly! May as well look at the problem from a different perspective in fact, you have to see the real idea behind the mom to say these words, what she wants to say is: \"Mom is worried that you are out there to suffer!\" You see, by switching to mom as the subject, this is expressing her feelings, her thoughts! You'll be much more comfortable and accept it and easier! If your mom keeps saying it's how you are, the subject is you, it's him teaching you how to do things. You will then feel a sense of being controlled and having your freedom seriously interfered with! You also need to learn to express your feelings and you need to tell your mom how you feel when she says that! When you tell her, mom may realize that I said it that way and the child felt that way and the child felt uncomfortable! Mom loves you, and when she realizes that talking to you that way causes you invisible harm, she will definitely pay attention to the way she expresses herself!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How old are you, the original poster? It's actually a good thing that you can't accept your mother's advice because it shows that you're a child with independent thinking abilities. It's normal not to be able to accept your mother's advice. On one hand, not all of your mother's advice is necessarily good or correct, even though her intentions are good. On the other hand, your mother's era, life experiences, and age are different from yours, so it's normal to have different perspectives on things. I don't think people of the same generation as your mother would have the exact same opinions on these issues either. It would be a problem if you completely accepted everything your mother said. Based on the way you describe the problem, it seems like your frustration doesn't stem from not listening to your mother's advice, but rather from the emotional distress caused by her advice: disturbing your peace of mind and making you feel angry and torn. Here are a few possible reasons for this, as reference: feeling controlled by your mother, which makes you feel restrained and unable to act freely, obviously this would make you feel unhappy; feeling guilty for not listening to your mother, Chinese culture values filial piety and obedience, and obedience is often demonstrated by listening to one's parents; perhaps your mother has had a special significance and made sacrifices during your upbringing, which undoubtedly increases your guilt. Feeling like not listening to your mother's advice is an attack on her, hurting her, seems a bit like repaying kindness with ingratitude, a complete defiance of what is right. This may also be related to your age. People in their twenties or thirties are often unwilling to listen to others, especially people they are familiar with, giving input or criticizing them. Such actions are seen as denying oneself. The body's strong physique, confidence, and abundant energy do not allow them to believe that they are inferior or being criticized. If this familiar person has always held an advantageous position that suppressed you, then you would be even more \"enraged\". Under the influence of these forces, how can \"my heart not be disturbed, not be torn, and not be angry\"? Try to express your inner feelings to your mother when she continues to advise you. If you can't say it out loud, you can express it in writing. I also feel that \"you know how to speak and how to control yourself!\" Tell your mother: understand her desire to protect and guide you throughout your life, understand that everything she does is for your own good, wanting you to take fewer detours and experience less hardship. However, the reality is that your mother can't accompany you throughout your life, so sooner or later you will have to learn how to \"walk\" on your own. I'm sure your mother also hopes that you will surpass her. If you always listen to your mother, always act within her mindset, how can you possibly \"surpass her\"? Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, when we have their own insist on a thing, it is very difficult to listen to other people's advice, especially this advice is very different from their own ideas, and the way of communication is very unacceptable to them. So I can understand the subject's feelings and give the subject a hug. The subject says why she can't listen to her mom's advice. We can try to observe and reflect, in ordinary life, mom is talking to their own things, how they feel it, will not have a rebellious mind. In the process of growing up from childhood to adulthood, mom in the process of interacting with their own education mode is how it, whether they accept it. The subject said, \"Actually, I know how to speak, and I know how to grasp the balance. From the subject's point of view, she has grown up and doesn't need her parents to teach her how to speak like a child. From the mother's point of view, the subject is her own child even if she is older, so she will take her own usual way to show her concern for the child, but ignores that the child has grown up. The subject said, why does she always disturb me and make it difficult for me. It feels like the subject and the subject's mom don't seem to have a very good relationship right now, and the subject has a lot of anger towards her mom, and her mom is probably upset by the subject's attitude. I would like to give you a little advice about your current situation: from the description of the subject, the communication pattern between the subject and the subject's mother is problematic, and the subject is rebellious to this pattern. So it is suggested that the subject can communicate with his mother about his own ideas, to take the initiative to explore the formation of a new model in life, which will help the subject's state and change the relationship with his mother. Above, I hope it can help the subject, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can see that your mom is trying to teach you some skills in dealing with people in the workplace, but I can also see that you don't share the same viewpoints as your mom. I guess the reason why your mom reminds you with the meaning of \"teaching\" is that on one hand, she thinks she is a mom and responsible for you, and on the other hand, she is worried that you will offend people because of your \"fast-talking\". But what she has overlooked is that you have grown up, you are an adult, and you have the ability to solve problems. I think it's probably because of this that you can't accept that your mom \"messes with my mind and puts me in a difficult position\", and you even feel \"angry\". In my opinion, both of you are right, your mom is right to love you, and you are right to want to deal with your problems independently. It's just that the way you express it is not agreeable to each other. Maybe, you can slowly adjust up, and I guess you don't want to affect your relationships by talking too straight, so I have an old saying to share with you - there are three ways to say something, and it's a good idea to say it smartly! See if there's a way to express your opinion in the future while making it a bit more acceptable to others. That way, the problem between you and your mom will be solved. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8682
       },
       {
        "question": "What about being too idealistic? It always seems like work is all utilitarian and it annoys me.",
        "description": "Feeling too idealistic and escapist, I understand that work has a purpose, but all the jobs I've come across have been too utilitarian and not for me at all. It's like a buying and selling market, I like to make the buyer feel that what I'm selling is good, useful, altruistic and meaningful. I just don't want to lie to them, but the company has a track record. I've been crying a lot lately, and I'm in a bad mood. Am I being a bit melodramatic? Or should I just stick to my heart?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject matter does not correspond well. Ideal and utilitarian are not difficult to understand. Are you selling something bad, if not I can't do it. Really, sales is to inform the world about what is good for oneself and for others and for society, without having to cheat. This is not pretentious, but also the heart. Really, it's good me too, if this product is bad, then I'll just change to a good product and a good company. You are right.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22152
       },
       {
        "question": "What was his motivation for pursuing me and marrying me at the time when we were in pain together and wanted a divorce?",
        "description": "The man said that he had been in love twice, both ex-girlfriend chased him, the third time he chased me, together but very painful, said he wanted a divorce, asked the reason for the divorce: chatting not, think of things not in a piece, very painful. I was too simple not much experience in love, he chased me, I married, and now I have learned a concept of psychology called \"obsessive repetition\", I now recall that he began to be with me in the future with no idea, but also do not want to live a better life ideas and aspirations, and has been negative to just ask for no matter what to pay, never offered a penny! I'm not a rich person, everyone has a salary, he is still higher than me, but it is good to eat my with my live my, he was chasing me to marry me motivation purpose is what?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Concepts, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Some people say that marriage is the grave of love? Who knows, every family has its own difficulties. We are likely to be young and uneducated, ignorant and ignorant into marriage, perhaps once had some good expectations, close to the wood, rice, oil and salt, perhaps one day we will be worn to no angle, the heart can no longer set off a ripple. Marriage is different from love. Love is about intimacy, passion and commitment. Marriage is more often a functional unit, we have common physical needs, common emotional needs, common social relationships, common property, common children. Emotional needs are only part of the equation. Understand your feelings. You may be a little more aware of yourself, a little more understanding, after you study psychology. Understanding what you really want, what you have now, or what is missing? Can it all be done over again in your lifetime? Everyone has the right to happiness, everyone has the freedom to choose again. I believe that you, through learning, can gain a different and wonderful life. Specializing in personal growth and relationships. I am here. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           {
            "start": 109,
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           },
           {
            "start": 202,
            "end": 209,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 209,
            "end": 274,
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           },
           {
            "start": 274,
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            "start": 322,
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           },
           {
            "start": 337,
            "end": 344,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When you want to get married, except for a very few people, most people get married to create a better life together. After entering into marriage, most people will find that \"this person\" and \"that person\" I know are too different, resulting in many dissatisfaction and complaints, and then arguments, contradictions, conflict round and round. This is one of the necessary stages of most marriages, how couples on these differences, collision, communication, interaction, improve mutual understanding, will become very important. And these, is to spend time, spend energy, spend money to learn. If, on the other hand, both partners choose to blame and criticize each other, it will be an endless war.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8328
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is there always a sense of lack when my family gives me the best?",
        "description": "Obviously my family gives me everything, they try their best to give me the best they can, why do I still have feelings of deprivation and even fear of contacting my parents they obviously give me I a lot of everything for me, why do I have severe feelings of deprivation and even fear of contacting them.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello from your account, I feel your sense of powerlessness, overwhelmed, and even a little self-blame. Traditional concepts require us to honor our parents and not to disobey them, and to accept what they give us in good faith. But once they give is not what we need, will become a burden in our hearts: do not accept it is against the parents' hearts, is the world can not allow; accept it is against their own hearts. And we often choose the former, allowing ourselves to suffer. Powerlessness and overwhelm result. 'My parents have given me the best' and I don't know enough; this is self-blame. A psychologist of the psychoanalytic school says that parents are not purely all love for their children, but also hate. The birth of a child disrupts the rhythm of parental life, parents can not continue to enjoy the world of two, increased financial pressure, attention to the growth of the child needs to pay more energy, etc., can be concluded that parents should have a hate for the child inside. Parents must love their children, is the traditional concept of the requirements of parents. To avoid being blamed, parents must hide the 'hate'. The hidden hate causes self-blame within the parents, who do not allow themselves to have hatred for their children, and in order to make up for it they have to compensate for it with even more doubled love. This is the selfish behavior of the parents to compensate. It is a subconscious process, so the parents cannot detect it. This kind of behavior can not be understood and seen by the child, the child only knows what the parent sees on the surface to pay for himself. What makes the child suffer is that much of the giving is not what he or she really needs, but instead adds to his or her burden. When the child realizes this logical relationship, what he can do is: 1. become aware of what he really needs and what he doesn't need 2. learn to say no and refuse to give what he doesn't need 3. whether the child is an adult or not, the parents should have their own lives. Have a good talk with your parents and show that you can take responsibility for your own life and that it's time for your parents to go and enjoy life and find the life that has been lost for so many years I hope this helps!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ very understand your feelings, hug you ~ the subject describes not a lot of information, so can only provide some simple understanding, just for reference ~ the sense of lack often stems from the parents did not give enough emotional feedback to the child as a child. If they don't get enough nourishment in childhood, they need to fill it themselves in adulthood or they may live in a constant void. That is, they gave you all the good stuff but didn't connect with you emotionally. If a parent is compassionate and empathetic enough and builds enough intimacy with a child as a child, the child will also be kind and better at building relationships as an adult. But people who experience emotional neglect, where the automated response is often to take care of others first, have trouble taking good care of and meeting their own needs, and they are missing four important skills for well-being: the skills of self-care, self-discipline, self-soothing, and self-compassion. It doesn't matter, we can develop these skills through dedication and hard work later in life. Change is not easy and we need to give ourselves enough time, understanding and care. It is recommended to attend some intimate relationship, self-acceptance related courses, and seek help through counseling if conditions permit. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is easy to listen to your story ~ The description is somewhat vague and lacks specific examples, so it is difficult to judge. I can only analyze based on the information provided, hoping it will be useful to you ~ | Issue | Parents have given them the best they can, but they still feel lacking and even do not want to communicate. | Analysis | What they give may not be what you really want. The description reveals resistance and rejection. It shows that you know that what your parents have given is the best they can offer. But what they give may not necessarily be what you truly desire, so it is as if they haven't given anything at all. There is a feeling of inferiority in your heart, and you tend to compare yourself to others. If you are studying or working outside, your perspective and exposure to different things will broaden, and you cannot help but compare yourself to others around you. You will find that what you possess is just mediocre. Gradually, a sense of inferiority will develop in your heart, and you will become dissatisfied with the current situation. | Method | Change your current mindset and cherish everything you have. Many things you currently possess are what others envy and can never have. Whether it is the love of your parents or the things they have given you, it is the greatest kindness they can offer. Try to accept it and think from a different perspective. Do not wait until it's too late to regret. Clearly define what you truly desire and strive for it. If others cannot give it to you, then seek it and earn it for yourself. Since it is something you want but others can't provide, then strive for it on your own. Your current mindset is dependent, possibly still in the student stage, so do something that can fulfill your inner needs. Step by step, make efforts, and the ultimate result will surely not disappoint you. Maintain normal communication with your parents and engage in effective dialogue. Currently, there is resistance towards parents, so try to communicate with them from a different perspective. Express your thoughts and opinions on their actions, and try to understand each other. Perhaps this can alleviate the confusion in this regard. Currently, only a simple analysis can be done, hoping it can help you ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know if what I'm saying and what the owner is trying to say are one and the same. Then I'll tell you about myself, and I hope the owner can find a little resonance in my story. My parents are honest people. When they were young, they came out from the countryside to a slightly larger city to work hard and finally settled down. My parents' generation lived a hard life, so they wanted to give me all the good things. When I was young, no matter what I wanted, my parents gave it to me, that is to say, the owner said that they gave all the good things to their children. However, as I grew older, what I needed was no longer all those things, but maybe a little communication, a little communication, a heart to heart conversation with my parents. For more than 20 years, not once. Later, I went away to college, and the family contact slowly became less. My parents also stopped calling me regularly, and I stopped contacting my parents regularly. When I realized this problem, it was also this year when the epidemic was at home. At that time, because of some reasons, I was on the verge of collapse, all day to shut myself in the house and do not want to talk to my parents. I still remember the time when I knocked on the door of my father's room, moved a stool and sat across from him. I said Dad, I want to talk to you. My dad sat up, and there was a light in his eyes. That night, my dad and I talked for more than two hours, and I told him all my grievances. 23-year-old me cried like a child in front of my father. From that night on, I felt that the mentality of my parents towards me or me towards my parents had changed, and it was no longer resistance or fear of communication. I began to realize that I don't have to carry so much on my own, so my parents have always been behind me to support me. If the owner does not often communicate with parents, try to use a night time, and parents seriously talk once. The heart of the grievances, the heart of the matter, all said out. May reap the unexpected thought. Go for it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Because they love you, so your parents do a lot of things on your behalf, and you just stand still and watch, because the generation is too much, their own attempts are too little, when you really want to do something, you will find very powerless and helpless. Everyone's growth can't be replaced by others, right or wrong, it's all life experience. Therefore it is not true that the better you are to yourself, the better you will necessarily grow. Moreover, parents are too good to the child, will make the child feel guilty, if not good enough, will be in the inner blame themselves, and this internal friction is the most depletion of a person's vitality. But the good thing is, you are aware of it. Now go ahead and think about it, how would you plan your life if you set aside your parents' good intentions? It's not for you to completely ignore your parents, you can discuss your ideas with them, you can listen to them, but ultimately you make the decisions. From the little things in your life, get your responsibilities and rights back, only then the sense of power can slowly come back. Because you are no longer passive and arranged, but can actively face it, to create, the feeling is completely different. Good luck! The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I wonder if the subject is talking about parents who pampered you too much and made you feel and suffocated and afraid? What specifically do you mean by a sense of deprivation? Do you think it's possible that they've given you so much that they've taken away your autonomy so that you can't fight for things on your own? Sometimes our happiness comes from striving for something on our own, which can give us a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. For example, people may want to work to fulfill their desire for success, even if their family is so well off that they don't need to work for a living. And some parents may be overprotective of their children, not wanting them to receive the slightest trial or setback, even though it may mean growing up. They provide themselves with an abundance of material goods and money, and do not allow their children to do activities that they desire, perhaps with some adventurousness. When a child falls down, they will immediately help him up, when he loses his temper, they will immediately coax him with good food and drink, and when they encounter failure, instead of letting the child learn from it, they will immediately utilize their own power to settle everything... Children who grow up in such a situation are most likely to be extremely weak in resistance to pressure, and can't afford to be frustrated, or they will be extremely brutal and egotistical. However, self-aware children will feel very painful, because parental indulgence also brings limitations. Maybe what you need to do now is to tell your parents that you are grateful for what they have given you, but that you now want to try to get what you want through your own efforts, to explore and discover what is truly meaningful to you. Tell them that you are grown up and don't need them to give you everything anymore because you are capable of getting everything you want.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject Hello to give you a warm hug to see the description, some heartache subject, obviously feel that parents and family members are trying to give their best, they should be very satisfied and happy but feel the lack of anything, and even reluctant to contact more, contradictory doubts and wonder whether there is some sense of guilt? The subject can consider the following questions: 1. parents to give is what they want? 2. believe that give a lot of material, that the spirit of companionship? 3. whether to give a lot of pressure? 4. whether to get too easy, they did not pay a lot, so they do not have a sense of existence, a sense of achievement? We are grateful to our parents for all that they have given us, and we are also trying to do our best to prove ourselves and work hard for the future, which is reciprocal, right? May all be well!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Looking at the description of the subject's situation, I feel particularly distressed about the subject ~ yes, obviously parents have given us a lot, and all the best, how can we still not enough? The subject may wish to follow the following questions to ask yourself: 1. parents give and I want to match the 2. parents have brought me what trauma? For example, childhood left behind ......3. Rather than being afraid of parental contact, I am afraid of being close to my parents, right?4. Is there anything special about my family that gives me a lot of feelings of inferiority and dissatisfaction? Questioner see if you can try to answer the above questions for yourself, and then feel free to private message me anytime and let's explore what the meaning behind the dissatisfaction is, okay? The world and I love you and bless the subject, Jing Jing Ting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16855
       },
       {
        "question": "What if you want to do a lot of things and feel like you never have enough time?",
        "description": "What if there is never enough time? There are so many things you want to do and so little you have time to do.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Time is the fairest of all for all of us, and everyone only has 24 hours in a day. How to make the best use of time, so that you can get more out of the limited time, you need some skills to manage time. Feeling that you don't have enough time is because you want to do a lot of things, but you don't think clearly about what you want to do, you don't have a purpose and plan, thus creating confusion and not knowing how to start. Therefore, the most effective way is to use time management tools to sort things out: \u25cf Method 1: four quadrant method 1, take out a piece of paper, the things you want to do one by one list. 2, you list these things to be categorized, divided into what is important need to be done first, what is secondary can be arranged later. 3, using the \"four quadrant method 3, using the \"four quadrant method\" to put these things into four grids, respectively: important & urgent, important & non-urgent, urgent & unimportant, non-urgent & unimportant. The first three are the things you need to arrange to do first, arrange the big part of your time here, and the rest can be done with fragmented time. Method 2: Project List Method 1: Every morning, make a list of things you want to do that day. Be careful, don't be too greedy, just list 3~5 items. If there are too many items, it will be beyond your time and ability to complete, but instead will cause stress and anxiety for you.2. Think about the time period when you are most efficient and energetic in doing things. Schedule the most important items on your list for this time period. Put a check mark when you finish one item to give yourself a sense of accomplishment.3. Every night before you go to bed, you can review and recap the completion of the list of items for that day, and then preset the list for the next day. \u25cf Method 3: The Goal Method 1. Find a time to sit down and think about what your goal is. What are the things to be accomplished to reach the goal?2. Break down the goal events, break down the steps, and list the plan. Then according to the plan. 3, the development of the goal plan needs to be within their own time conditions and capabilities. There is a SMART principle can be referred to: \u2460 S - Specific (specific), the content of the plan should be as specific as possible. \u2461 M - Measurable (measurable), the effect of the program can be quantified and measured. \u2462 A - Attainable (achievable), the content of the plan after your efforts can be achieved, not beyond their ability. \u2463R--Relevant (Relevant), the plan must have relevance and continuity with other target programs. \u2464T--Time-based (time-bound), the implementation of the plan must have a certain time period, in which to complete. These are a few basic time management tips, I hope they are useful to you. The last thing to emphasize is that every minute of our time is precious, so don't just waste it. Chunks of time can be scheduled for important things, but some fragmented time should not be ignored and can be utilized for something just as well. Some things are precisely through the daily use of fragmented time to carry out, little by little, day by day to accumulate, such as memorizing 10 words a day, reading a book for 20 minutes, reading 1 knowledge article ...... will eventually have unimaginable gains. Cheer up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the feelings you describe have been experienced by many people in life, some of whom have since adjusted quickly, while others have struggled with them. Have you ever wondered about this, what is the reason for two very different results? In fact, it is very simple, either to reduce the things to do, or immediately do it Yes, life is often a lot of problems are \"imagined\" out, but blocked the pace of action, so it is said that \"fantasy is not beneficial\" Well, \"Pony Crossing the River\" story, how did the horse finally cross the river by himself? In the story \"Pony Crossing the River\", how did the pony finally cross the river by himself, do you still remember? Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner! I think this is a great question, many successful people value their time more than money. People have limited time in their lives, and doing more in that limited time is the secret of success. Whether at work, or in life, some people feel relaxed and happy, cozy and self-sufficient, some people feel busy and overwhelmed, in fact, we study these two types of people, their conditions are not worlds apart, not more money, money less problem, a big reason is the mentality and skills of the problem. Let's start with the mindset, some people have a cheerful personality, the wind and fire, unrestrained, to some things in detail but not too much attention, and even some people seem to be some carelessness, such people do things naturally fast; some other people, the heart is as fine as silk, cautious, and even some excessive pursuit of perfection, to the details of the unremitting, such people do things naturally slower; in fact, most of the people are both. A person's personality is very difficult to change, the river is easy to change, nature can not be changed, if we spend time to change the personality, can not say in vain, at least it is also little effect, not as good as to try to let the right person to do the right thing, so that both time-saving, but also can improve efficiency. Plus the problem of skills, leaving aside other factors, each person only 24 hours a day, every day time should be planned, only planning fully, in order to fully utilize, there is a book called \"48 hours a day\", in fact, is to let us put the trivial time to use. Every night in advance to do a rough timetable, to tomorrow's known things listed first, intervene in the middle of things, then recorded on the table, so that continue for a few days, your timetable has a general shape, and then begin to feel: what time to do what kind of things more efficient, what kind of time has not been fully utilized on the passage of time, and so on. When this timetable has been established in accordance with the wishes of the subject, the subject of many plans should also have been completed, the most important thing is that the subject will develop a good habit of valuing time, you will find that you are very sensitive to time, every waste of time moves to make you uncomfortable, and do things efficiently will also be improved. Of course, there are many ways to develop the habit of cherishing time, I only shared my way with the subject, and I hope it can help the subject to find the right way for himself!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Oh things more, less time, this is a lot of people have trouble, hate to sleep out of time to do things, but this is unrealistic. Time is fixed, 24 hours a day, in addition to sleep, rest, meals and other daily time must be spent, the rest of the controllable time is very little. Then since the time is dead, how to use this time is the subject should think carefully, things are alive, can do can not do, can do first can do after ...... things divided into importance division, important first to complete, unimportant postponed, may be on the subject feel that there is not enough time will help Oh. Things are not done. To be clear, we people are masters of things, not slaves to things. If the subject is driven by piles and piles of things, he or she often becomes a slave to things, has no personal freedom, is exhausted, and may end up wearing himself or herself out. If it is something accomplished, then it is still worth self relief, if most of the things are not done well, in the end, it is easy to self-doubt, denial. I hope the subject will sort out his things and his time. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16601
       },
       {
        "question": "My husband has to make my child go to school with him, what should I do with my child?",
        "description": "My husband and I work in different places, our big baby is almost 4 years old is a girl, has always been my mom and I with, to go to kindergarten, my husband often out of the field, he bought the house in a city, I am in a small county as a teacher, my husband let the child in the city to go to private kindergarten, I want to let the child to go to the county I am in the public kindergarten, my husband does not often take the child, he loved to play the game, my mom often take children Out to play, inevitably and other children will quarrel and fight, my child is always bullied that, my husband is not willing to say that my mother and I delayed the child, obviously private kindergarten to teach things elementary school will make the children anorexia what, and leave the mother does not have a sense of security, I especially do not understand why my husband had to let my child go to school with him?",
        "keywords": "Family, Parent Communication, Growing Up, Child Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Children are better off with their parents. Based on your description of where you and your husband live and work. One needs to go to the other's city, this is something you two can discuss. Also, the child won't be insecure away from mom, depending on the love dad can give him as well as your ability to go over and see him so that he continues to retain a secure sense of changing lifestyles. The big city education philosophy will be better than the small city and should be better in terms of the laws of human development. Lastly, from your words, it sounds like there is a bias against your husband that is not conducive to a husband and wife relationship. In a family, the husband-wife relationship is more important than the parent-child relationship, and your focus should be on how to make your relationship and life with your husband closer and better. This way the children will feel the love of the family wherever they are:.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18688
       },
       {
        "question": "Getting cranky and having a meltdown after a tantrum?",
        "description": "I should have loved my mother, but she was pushy and brought back a lot of bad memories when I was little. Father, on the other hand, loved his brother more. My mother restrained her temper a lot when I grew up. But when she lost her temper, all the memories she brought me came flooding back. I often couldn't control myself, was irritable and yelled. To my classmates I was another very gentle person, but not really. I was very sick. My parents were hypocritical, which used to disgust me, but now I understand it, and in the same way I was hypocritical as could be, superficial and especially disgusting. Think the world is nasty. When I meet someone who hates the world, I will try my best to persuade them, but in my heart, I will think that it would be a relief to leave. When I see someone who is not doing well, I think to myself, \"How nice it would be if that person died.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, Psychological Crisis, Pathological Personality, Trauma Therapy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Honey, think about what behaviors of your parents annoyed you when you were a child. Then now that you are grown up, the behaviors of theirs that you once hated, you can't control them from hurting you, but now you can control yourself from hurting yourself. The love that you craved as a child, then it's up to you as an adult now to give it to yourself. Can you do it?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20685
       },
       {
        "question": "Being scolded by Grandma, did I do wrong?",
        "description": "That afternoon, just after class I went to my grandmother to help, at this time my grandfather said to go to my grandmother, but he wants to take a shower first, then I went home, I'm a little dizzy, I want to sleep for a while, at this time my grandmother directly kicked open the door, came up and asked me: how do you not answer the phone? I looked at my cell phone, a look really. I then hurriedly explained that my cell phone tuned mute. Interesting thing came. Only to see the grandmother sneered and said: your cell phone is never turned off the mute, this time how to turn it off? She saw that the lights were not on, and continued: Are you asleep that you did not answer my calls? After that she blew up, said my grandfather is how tired you still let him come, and said I do not want to come to help her busy, and after that said that I was angry (to be honest, I was a little angry), and then kept asking me are you angry. I was a little annoyed, from the teeth of the sentence said who every day nothing to go to give you a hand, not coincidentally was heard by her, and exploded, said when I did not hear, smacked me old these words, I was furious, especially when she said that I do not want to now want to get killed when she, I directly a walk room door, directly to her factory to work. Grandma came, she and the others said: children just can not be spoiled, you have to order him, you do not talk about him, you do not even know you will die that day!",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello! Hug you through your description, I understand: 1. and grandma a little small quarrel, was grandma said some bad words, a little hard to hear. 2. their own body is not well, fell asleep to rest, did not hear the phone ringing, did not receive the call, grandpa himself to go to grandma's to help, but was grandma said intentionally do not go to help, but also let grandpa go to help, may feel misunderstood, a little aggravated, angry and speak inappropriately, but instead of provoke The grandmother's anger was provoked. My opinion: 1. After all, the grandmother is relatively old, the elderly will have some traditional and stubborn ideas, may think that the child is to \"do not return the favor\", must be obedient to help, and more sensitive to the death of the child may be angry and rebellious, said some bad words, may feel a little hurt, doubt that they are not needed and recognized, will speculate on the other side! Need and recognize, will guess the other side is not hope that their own early death ah what, this is in the old age of psychological changes, is understandable. 2. I think the subject can actually and grandma to explain a good, for example: their own body was not feeling well, did not mean to not help, and grandma said some words, their own a little aggrieved angry, speak a little inappropriate, their own is not intentional, hope that grandma can forgive you; this category is relatively not with the words, but also with the words, and the words, and the words, and the words, and the words, and the words, and the words, and the words. Forgive you; this type of relatively calm without emotion to say. 3. I think the subject in anger, may not be able to control their emotions, said a little too much, but this is understandable, but you think about it, if you were a little more calm and grandma to explain, it is not going to happen later things. I know it's hard to keep yourself calm when you are angry, but try to do it, because some of the things you say when you are angry can be very hurtful and may intensify the conflict, instead of affecting your relationship with others. My advice: 1. Suggest that you and your grandmother have a good talk, explain your thoughts and feelings at that time, pay attention to the way of speaking, try to be soft and euphemistic, I believe that as long as you express yourself well, your grandmother can understand. 2. Learn to manage their emotions, when they are angry, you can try to take a breath to let themselves calm down first, in the expression of the speech; in the speech before, think about what kind of words will be said, if the words are said to themselves, what kind of results, if the words are said to themselves, if the words are said to themselves, if the words are said to others. Before speaking, think more about what kind of result the words will have, if this word to themselves, what they will feel, more envision, to avoid trouble out of the mouth; usually can listen to light music to soothe their own emotions. Above, is my little opinion, just for reference wish you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17857
       },
       {
        "question": "How to find a job you love at 26?",
        "description": "This year is 26 years old, has been trying to find their favorite job, but do not know what they like, want to upgrade their qualifications and do not know which is better to learn, is very confused",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Career Choice Skills",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello ah, give you a warm hug ~ want to find a suitable job for themselves, or to understand their own real inner needs, you can look at the following aspects: on the one hand, your character, what do you think you want the future is like? What kind of job is your own character suitable for? If you have a high stress tolerance, maybe you can go for something more high-pressure, which may be challenging for you as well. If you wish you had a higher education, then you can think about whether you have a better ability to learn? Can you handle the pressure that comes with studying and so on. If you want to look for a job, then you can think about the aspect of your specialty to find a job that suits you, or what direction you like to look for a job. For example, if you like to do baking, you can go to learn baking skills, and then go to be a baker and so on. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19174
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like I can't see my heart clearly and I don't know if I like someone?",
        "description": "I feel like I can't see my heart clearly I feel like I don't know if I like someone I feel like I'm always in a state of flux one minute I like her and the next I want to keep my distance I'm always in a state of flux sometimes I think he's good sometimes I think she's bad you want to be close to her and then you want to be far away from her sometimes you feel like you like her a lot sometimes you feel like you don't like a lot of people, especially if she's far away from me and then I feel that I want to I want to stay with her when she gets closer I want to get rid of her she asked me if I like her or not am I willing to come out of the closet for her I don't know I just feel like I want to be with him but sometimes I want to keep my distance what's wrong with me? I don't know.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Sexual Orientation, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ first of all, give the owner a warm hug, through the owner's description that the owner can not see their own heart, do not know whether they actually like each other. The owner said he sometimes like each other, and want to stay with each other, then the owner like each other what? Is the owner happy with him? Or does the owner feel comfortable in his heart when he is with him? Other things may deceive oneself, including one's own thoughts, but one's own feelings do not deceive oneself, therefore, the owner wants to know his own feelings, then the first thing is to figure out his own feelings. The owner also mentions that he wants to distance himself from the other person, wants to stay away from him, wants to get rid of him, so why is that? Is it because it is uncomfortable to stay with him, or is it because the owner is too worried about the world's eyes and feels on a moral level that she shouldn't get too close to the other person or further define the relationship. From the owner's description, I guess the other person may be more pestering or controlling, if the owner just want to get rid of the other person because of this aspect, then you can talk to the other person to talk about their feelings and thoughts. Of course, the owner may also just take each other as friends, and no other ideas, then the other party is serious? Rather, it is just a joke? Therefore, it is still recommended that the owner and the other party to talk about this matter, of course, I also hope that the owner can figure out their own inner feelings, in order to clarify their own feelings. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2404
       },
       {
        "question": "16 year old girl, the last day I realized I don't cry much anymore?",
        "description": "I used to cry whenever I wanted to, what's happening now is that I'm realizing I don't cry much anymore, I'm so devastated I don't know what to do, going from being a kairo to someone who cares about other people and neglects herself, helping others while hurting herself at the same time.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Suspiciousness, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I have a feeling as if you are more appreciative of crying when you want to as opposed to when you don't cry very much, is that right? I have a feeling that you're just at a new point in your life, and it's possible that each person's growth point will be different at each stage. For those who don't cry often, crying may be a form of catharsis, while for those who cry when they feel like it, not crying may be a sign that you're starting a new way of thinking. You go from being a cheerful person to someone who cares about others and neglects themselves, and you say that by helping others, you are hurting yourself at the same time. I read this sentence and it seems like I kind of didn't quite get the meaning. Does it mean that because one neglects oneself, one feels that caring about helping others is hurting oneself? If it's as I understand it, then I actually see that you're starting to realize that your helping others while not neglecting yourself, right? If that's the case, then that's a good realization, then love yourself first, and see what you used to cry because of, and didn't cry because you wanted to isolate or run away from anything? Good luck with those thoughts for now!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17314
       },
       {
        "question": "I get angry when people don't pay attention to me, what should I do?",
        "description": "As the title suggests. I want to be someone who doesn't have to fight for attention so much and still be seen by others. For example, in meetings, people will discuss and ignore me, or in new environments there are a lot of cliques and they don't actively call on me. At first it was awkward, but after a long time and a lot of times, I started to feel the anger of being ignored, knowing that I shouldn't be like this, but I'm just so angry, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social fears, coworkers, social adjustment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject is good! Give you a warm hug \ufe0f see your description, understand your mood at the moment, you desire to be noticed, be valued, but the work environment makes you feel neglected, so you have a hard time in your heart, feel no sense of existence, resentment. This kind of scene everyone in the new workplace, or jump into a new environment will encounter. So keep a normal mind and adapt to it. First of all, learn to integrate into the new environment, the new collective in fact, each of us is an individual, when the individual to integrate into the collective, will inevitably need to all aspects of integration and adaptation, not their own is not good, but the original combination of people have become a system, when you want to break this system, re-establish the new system, the need for the process, and also need to adapt to the new system of others. Therefore, think differently, you feel uncomfortable at the same time, in fact, others are also adapting to you. Secondly, the new environment how they will be valued simple example, when you devote yourself to work, make performance, as well as always in the need to appear, to help the original people to solve the things they are not willing to do, then other people will feel that your arrival is valuable, slowly and naturally care about your existence. As they say out there, keep brushing up your presence. This sense of existence is to put into action, beneficial to the company, beneficial to others. Finally, all the attention, from their own good enough a good person, the body is self-contained energy, sometimes attract a group of partners, when they have not yet reached the attraction of others, humility, patience, learning from the strengths of others, when one day they are good enough, I believe that your magnetism will be more and more big, not waiting for you to care about others, perhaps others care about the eyes of the world will be close to you. Come on, believe in yourself, and let yourself become energized first. All the problems will be solved.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Just to the new environment is not familiar with the normal, you are new, but people are old ah, they have their own small groups ah, the group is normal, any place to report the group, you would like to ah, this is not reported to the group is very safe? At least you don't look like you're the one who's left behind. Either improve your ability to impress others, or try to make a good relationship with the right small group. Either go hug the leader's leg and stand up well, any method is actually possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4290
       },
       {
        "question": "The outbreak is back and I feel so powerless, what should I do?",
        "description": "Now that there is another outbreak in Beijing, I have been asked to work from home and I feel powerless and confused. This epidemic is never ending!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Modern people rarely have the opportunity to directly face the challenges of nature anymore. This epidemic has taught us all a lesson, a long one, and I sincerely hope that enough lessons have been learned from it to change some of the incorrect ways of living with nature. There are also economic and life implications. Changes in work patterns, impact on income, restriction of activities, and the unknown probability of being directly exposed to the risk of being infected, individuals are powerless in the face of these, and all they can do, apart from preventing epidemics in the way they are required to do so, is to do some self-regulation from a psychological point of view. A basic basis for psychological adjustment is that: at present, contracting the disease is a small probability event; death after contracting the disease is an even smaller probability event, the probability is so small that it is like all kinds of accidents, which happen every day, but basically one can avoid them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, warm hugs to you ~ I can feel your anxiety and powerlessness, but with the experience of the last time, will you feel that this time is not particularly serious, so the home quarantine is also for more rapid detection and treatment, to avoid the emergence of a widespread epidemic like the last time. It may be boring to be in home quarantine, but you can look for things that make life interesting, like starting to learn to paint, or learning to cook, etc. Tell yourself some strong beliefs, such as: you are also doing your country a favor by quarantining this time, and quarantining sooner may be able to help reduce your risk and get back to your normal life sooner. Remember to drink plenty of water, boost your immune system, stay happy and don't let yourself get sick~ Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19649
       },
       {
        "question": "Speak in a low voice and ask yourself not to be too confident and proud?",
        "description": "I am a person who speaks in a small voice is that whenever I want to speak louder then I feel that there is something hindering me so that I can not send out the sound I feel that people speak too loudly is not good, but in fact, I speak in a voice that other people can not hear at all, I thought about it may be there is a perfectionism at work so that I don't want to become a person who speaks loudly, and also in my life, I always demand that I can't be too self-confident can't be proud, because I I think this kind of person invites people to hate, how can I deal with these problems?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject everyone is in a different place, judging themselves and your place is on about talking. This is a homework that you need to face yourself. First of all, understand that language is the basis of communication, the medium that creates a relationship, and by resisting this communication from happening, you are naturally resisting your communication with the outside world. Your perception is that speaking loudly is a manifestation of confidence and pride, and confidence and pride are hated. So what do you want, is the approval and liking of others, right, and that liking is not to speak loudly. Aware yourself of your perception, is there a problem. Obviously bound by past experiences. Look at past family members for similar scenarios where they were not allowed to speak up, not allowed to express their thoughts, much less have their own opinions and ideas, even to the point of repression in exchange for assurances of survival. There is a feeling of being enslaved, having to be careful, not allowed to make up one's own mind, not to mention not being able to be high and mighty, and only by keeping one's voice down can one have a chance of survival. This feeling is not facetiously biased, but hopefully opens your eyes to your own limitations and constraints. First of all, understand that no matter what values are fed to you, they are part of your own destiny that you need to experience, and no one has a choice whether to stay trapped in them or to bravely move forward and be yourself. If there is a desire to break out of this bondage, one can start by reconstructing one's values. This reconstruction requires acceptance of one's own present situation, and it is only by not judging that one will not resist, and will allow change to take place. Allow yourself to speak loudly, understanding that your voice has nothing to do with whether others like it or not. If you feel that it is too challenging to express yourself in front of others, you can find an alternative, such as your own companion puppet, or find a tree, read aloud or talk to yourself alone, and experience the feeling that comes from being loud. Once you have adapted to your voice, you can communicate in a normal voice with someone who makes you feel safe and secure, and feel the sensation of interacting with each other, building up from less to more. After skillful, you can consciously communicate with people you don't know very well, to exercise your courage, but also to recover your own strength. In the process you can do more of what you like, will increase your sense of certainty, for their own behavior to increase the power. No one can limit you as long as you don't limit yourself, and this living out, is a process of expanding yourself and breaking through your limitations. Good luck getting back to being yourself on the inside.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Understand what is bothering you. You say that you speak in a low voice and feel that people who speak loudly invite annoyance. I'll share my understanding with you and hope it inspires you. Mr. Li Songwei says: Beliefs are certain attitudes, rules or assumptions about the world that we have formed over time. For example, if you ask yourself not to be too confident and not to be proud, and you find people like that annoying, this is your belief. In some issues our beliefs may be the same, for example a triangle, we may knots triangles have about the same perception, but in some issues everyone's beliefs may be different. Just like some of us like to be the kind of person who is particularly confident, who speaks loudly themselves, and who likes others to speak loudly, we may come up with different answers to the same questions because we have different beliefs about each other. These beliefs may come from our parents or early upbringing, and education, or the culture of the society we live in. Beliefs are like a pair of eyeglasses we wear, and when we begin to examine the glasses we can see its unique benefits and limitations. When we know that there is this belief, we have the possibility of replacing it. So, if it is true that you speak too quietly for others to hear you, is it not possible for you to try to change your belief? At least so that those who are listening to you can hear. Because after all, speaking is what we use to communicate, and it's important to say something so that others can hear, don't you think? In addition, when we grow up, we will originally think that everything is observed from the point of view of others, for example, I will speak in a loud voice to attract people to hate, this is just your idea, not necessarily the truth Oh. Allow yourself to see more possibilities. We can grow faster if we don't limit ourselves and don't always stay in the place where we feel comfortable. We can be better at being ourselves when we have a certainty about ourselves, when we stop relying on other people's comments, and when we believe that we are good enough. In response to your question, you can ask your family and friends around you how loud they would like you to speak. And our speaking voice size is definitely divided into occasions and environments. If two people are closer, then of course you can sound smaller, if it is a public occasion or far away from some away, then we naturally have to sound bigger, the voice is mainly to suit the environment and the object of the speech, in life to observe it more. Don't think so much in your heart. Finally, bless you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, come to listen to the big head brother: talk about my ideas and suggestions, I hope to help you. \ufe0f Think differently to rethink the problem, and then consider whether we need to make changes we do a small test, think differently to consider the problem, for example, you talk to others in the conversation, and then the other side of the voice is a little small you can not hear clearly, I think that this feeling you will be very uncomfortable and helpless, right, in fact, the most basic communication between the two people to listen to each other in what they say, and then to normal communication, right? The most important thing is to listen to what each other is saying, and then you can communicate normally, right, so if you really speak a little small voice, then you have to be a little louder, at least let the other side to hear what you're saying, so as not to affect the normal exchange of ideas, right. \ufe0fChange the inherent cognition, speak a little louder does not mean impolite, does not mean too confident too proud of some inherent cognition need to be adjusted, as long as you are not very loud arrogant and rude speech, normal slightly louder communication will not cause dissatisfaction with other people, this is your own overthinking, other people will not be because of you so that you hate you, all of which are your own imagination, there is no such thing! . \ufe0f You can sincerely and mindfully ask close people to see if the voice is too low, and then sincerely accept the advice and slowly and consciously adjust a lot of things you think is one thing, but also listen to other people's advice more. So you can sincerely ask your family and friends, whether their own voice is really too small should be louder, if people think you really should adjust, then accept with an open mind and slowly and consciously to adjust, don't be in too much of a hurry, you can find a no one's place to slowly increase the volume to speak to read aloud, and then get used to it and then apply it to the daily interaction with people, I think it will be good.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Lou Lou, which led to Lou Lou's current situation. I give the following small suggestions to the floor. Learn to accept imperfections First of all, the floor should accept their own shortcomings, accept their own lack of self-confidence, accept their own bad. Then try to accept other people's imperfections. Change your thinkingThere is no perfect person in the world, so don't think too much sometimes. And it's impossible for everyone in the world to like everyone. There is like there will be hate, so the building does not have to be distressed over these things. Lou Lou if you want to change you can look at the following suggestions \ufe0fBuild ConfidenceBelieve that Lou Lou must have a good place to be good at, and it's still something you like. Lou Lou can first develop here, and then in slowly, believe that they are the best in this area, can be better than part of the people. \ufe0fParticipate in activities suggested that the building can participate in more activities to exercise themselves, you can participate in some speech contests and other activities. First start to speak a little louder than before. Slowly and gradually increase their volume. I hope that my ability to answer to the floor to help may peace.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3130
       },
       {
        "question": "I didn't pass the test, I feel bad and want to cry, and I don't want to take the test again for fear that my parents will be upset.",
        "description": "I didn't pass the test, I'm depressed, I'm afraid my parents will be upset, but I don't want to take the test again, I'm lost.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Emotion Regulation, Tears of Vulnerability",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, the world and I love you! First of all, hugs to you, it's hard to see you say that it's hard when you didn't pass your license. I can understand that, I never passed my 4th grade in the same way, and there is always a feeling that the more I take the test, the more scared I get. But please think, \"Not all hard work will yield results, but not working hard will definitely not yield results.\" Secondly, I used to be very confused, and I was very confident that I would pass. But when it came to checking my results, I was disappointed. Negative for half a month, half a month I didn't touch English related, but after half a month suddenly I remembered, as if there were still words I hadn't memorized, so I slowly got over it. \"Grades or results are just part of the process, as long as the process is done right, the results won't be bad.\" You need to reflect on how much you put into the preparation process for the certification. Did you take notes and think hard about the issues you faced? Was there a plan to revise? Did you manage to keep your mind free of distractions during the revision process? All these questions are worth thinking about and considering. Finally, if you still want to fight again, look at the setbacks from a broader perspective, adjust your mindset and keep going, I'm sure our parents will give us support. Keep up the good work and cheers. Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3732
       },
       {
        "question": "How dare I let her know that I'm a little sad right now and can't get my emotions out?",
        "description": "Because of the epidemic and then students are online classes and then the beginning of the school exams I was particularly poor and then there are always a few students in the class that the teacher has high hopes I was one of them after the exams the teacher asked me to talk to me alone and asked me if I was playing all the time during the online classes I didn't say anything I don't know what to say say say I'm not happy if you say I'm playing you said I didn't play, but I'm not playing but I'm not wasting my time learning I don't know why I'm not listening to the whole day and I'm just too calm. I don't want to listen to the whole day is too calm emotionally I think all my own negative emotions expressed are super disgusting and then it has become I do not know what emotions in school classes are also easy to sleepy and always have a headache when napping a lie down headache more then forced sleepy to do something else after class when a friend to tell her suffering all kinds of aggrieved and sad and then another friend also said a few words of their own I didn't say anything as they spoke because I had forgotten what I was feeling bad about I told the teacher that day that I wouldn't let her call my parents that I would score 80 points or more in a month and now I especially regret it and feel that I won't be able to finish it at all I don't want her to call my parents not because of loss of face but because it's already hard on my family and I'm in bad shape and I'm relying on medication to support myself how can I dare to let her know that I'm a little sad now. I know now a little sad",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Healing Methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~ want to give you a warm hug ~ perhaps because of the home online classes do not have a good learning atmosphere, may make you change some of the learning habits and attitudes, but now back to school, you can gradually restore the original learning state ah. Maybe you can communicate with your teacher about the conflicts and distress in your heart, tell your teacher about your psychological changes, ask your teacher to help you develop a learning program, and slowly find the original learning feeling. Maybe you can also talk to your friends about your problems, not only listen to your friends to tell you their troubles. And friends can help each other, and work together to solve the problem. Maybe you can rediscover the interest in learning, find the original your favorite subjects, quiet more books, do questions, may find the original learning feeling. In times of stress, you can go out for a walk; you can also try to take a deep breath, meditate, think of yourself in this state, think of your own goals, and you can make a study plan for yourself, and slowly focus your scattered energy gradually and transfer it to study.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 9,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 9,
            "end": 72,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 72,
            "end": 129,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 129,
            "end": 176,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 176,
            "end": 230,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 230,
            "end": 314,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10607
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you walk out when you like your uncle who has a girlfriend of 8 years and is about to get married and have kids?",
        "description": "Epidemic during the online acquaintance and their own difference of almost 10 years of uncle, very chatty, in the encounter on the third day I learned that he has a girlfriend so he has been a friend of the feeling, and then slowly produced a dependence, slowly two people have each other's emotions, originally thought to meet after the can fade, the results are more and more difficult to separate. I myself know that the future must not result, but still very reluctant to disconnect; he accompanied his girlfriend when I am very uncomfortable but objectively know that he is the existence of superfluous. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Dependency Attachment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject needs to clarify himself: whether you can accept the man with you and his girlfriend at the same time dating two people; if you can not accept this situation, then you can let him only with you dating; if you can not do this, then only to leave him, bear the pain of the loss of love and in the pain of growth. Of course, if you can't leave him for a while, and you are willing to experience the feeling of moths to the flame in the triangle, there is nothing wrong, after all, people always grow in love. What makes people grow is always pain, and you will get to experience a lot of that pain - both the pain of separation and the pain of commitment. Of course there is bound to be joy as well, but the most and only thing that makes sense is growth. Anyway, I don't see anything wrong with whether you choose to keep fighting for him or let go of him for that matter, or even if you choose to maintain the triangle. But if your issue is how to walk away, i.e. cut off the relationship, then you can slowly feel the pain of separation within yourself after you leave him, and this pain will gradually become less and less with time. Also, put your energy into a bigger world - love is not the only thing people live for, there are many other things that can bring out your energy and allow you to live yourself. Throw yourself into everything that appeals to you, and you'll find that there are many sources of excitement and joy in life, especially those that help you become who you are. When you experience the joy that comes from becoming yourself, maybe love won't be such a big part of your heart, like what takes up 80% of your heart now may only be 20% by the time you get there, but that doesn't mean you won't have a better love. Or that even without the person doesn't mean you don't have other joys. My advice to anyone dealing with the pain of a breakup is to learn, to live, to do what you love, to go to a wider world and heaven and earth, and not to always focus and center around that tiny person and that tiny part of the world that was there before, the world that can be soared is very big. The realm you can rise to can also be very big. Everything on this level will be a meaningful memory when you enter another level.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17395
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm a junior next semester and my roommates don't get along, should I change dorms?",
        "description": "I am a sophomore and will be a junior next semester. This semester, I feel bad with my roommates, the three of them engaged in a small group, but the surface is still harmonious relationship with me, in fact, behind my back to say bad things about me, distorting the facts to discredit me, the end of the last semester may be coupled with the pressure of the examination, I went back to the dormitory or the thought of them on the heart of the depression, back to the dormitory is even more so. Later, I thought of changing the dormitory, but also found a willingness to change the dormitory students, but worried about the interaction of the new dormitory, not a professional but a college, in the entanglement to change the dormitory, I hope that everyone to give some suggestions.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Deception and Trust, Housemates and Classmates, Social Adjustment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject hello. For this kind of situation, put down the posture to please them in fact not much effect, if it is your character reasons or they have more topics in step with you as the opposite party, you change dormitory may not solve the problem. Be at ease to do their own good, need to come and go to come and go a little, nothing to study, make more friends. Let yourself excellent, let yourself wonderful.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16730
       },
       {
        "question": "High school students have no dreams and don't know what they're studying for?",
        "description": "Facing the problem of choosing a major, I feel that I have no dream, no youthful enthusiasm, I don't know what I study for, although my academic performance is not bad, but I can't find what I love, I feel confused, I don't know what I want, I have no motivation, no goal, I feel that I lost myself, I envy the kind of people who have their own dreams and work hard for them, but I can't find them!",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Student Growth, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I am very happy to answer for you! You said you \"face the choice of specialty and other issues, feel that they have no dream, no youthful enthusiasm, do not know what they study for, although the academic performance is not bad, but can not find their own love of things, feel very confused, do not know what they want, no motivation, no goal, feel lost, very envious of the kind of people who have their own dreams and struggle for their dreams, but they can not find. This is my advice to you:Don't be overly anxious. This is actually a situation that many students have. If our parents didn't let us try out different interests when we were young, it's even easier for us to focus on our studies when we start school, without thinking about what we want to do in the future. What school to go to? And so on. The fact that the owner is able to realize that he or she is in a state of confusion is actually better than people of his or her age who haven't thought about these issues! It shows that you have more of a long-term perspective. You said that your academic performance is not bad, that you have better basic conditions, better than those who talk about dreams, but can not have the basic conditions to realize their dreams. So, your current state is not perfect, but it's above average, so don't be overly anxious. Good academic performance gives you more options, maybe now you are not sure what you like most, but you may know what you must not like. I followed this approach when I first chose my own major. I also didn't take many interest classes growing up, and when it came time to choose a major I really didn't know how to make a choice, but I knew what kind of work I didn't like, so you can rule out the things you don't like first. You can learn what courses you study in each major first to avoid making a hasty choice because the name of the major sounds good, and there are a lot of students like that every year. I don't know how high you are right now, but it's okay to find out a little bit ahead of time. Passion and specialization go hand in hand. You excel in a certain subject, then you will feel that it is easy for you to learn that subject and you will have a strong sense of satisfaction in yourself, which will lead to a greater love for it. If you feel that you haven't found something to love yet, start with something that you are willing to try and something that you are good at. May you love what you choose and choose what you love!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner of the good ~ in fact, I have always been (and even now) have no dream or pursuit, from the examination of junior high school to the examination of high school, is to run to the famous schools, until the college entrance examination is completed, but also let the family chattering about which professional employment is good, which 211 schools can rush a. I had thought that just according to what they said to fill in, anyway, I have no interest, no good at it (and not good at all). I originally thought, just fill in according to what they said, anyway, I have no interest, no good, typical \"learning robot\" (and not good). But in the afternoon of filling out the application, when I was checking the schools and majors, I saw a psychology major in a guaranteed school, and I googled the strength of this school's program (in fact, I was utilitarian rather than all interest), and found that it was in the national backing, and then it popped up, \"Instead of going to study finance and economics, I would like to go to study a program that is still slightly interesting to me, and also very good\". Instead of going to finance or economics, I'd rather go to a program that interests me a little bit and is good at it\", and I ended up overruling all the volunteers that I had discussed and just filling in this one. Do you want to say that I have a dream and a direction after one year of study? No, but I do feel like I'm slowly getting on track. I've shared so many things about my volunteering, but what I really want to say is that maybe you choose a popular major based on other people's advice and feel lost and empty, but when you actually go to school, two things can happen. The first is to find that there is something you like about the major, so you might as well gradually develop it into your own interest and take one step at a time. The second is to find that you hate it so much that you can't stand to study in that major. Then consider changing majors (the owner says he has good grades, so I believe there is no problem), then in fact this is also a proof that you are gradually on the right track ~ in fact, no matter which result, is not too bad ~ motivation and goals have not yet appeared, there is no need to deliberately think about it or therefore bitter thoughts, everyone's threshold and everyone grows at a different speed. It may be that some people do set their goals early and some people have some dreams that much later, a year or two, but it doesn't have to be the case that whoever ends up succeeding later has a harder time reaching their goals. So your worries and considerations just mean that you expect to find goals and motivation for yourself as well ~ instead of stressing yourself out with anxiety or confusion ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! According to the situation described by the subject, we briefly analyze the situation: the subject is a high school student, is in the process of choosing a major or college entrance examination subject. The subject now feels that learning without their own goals, no motivation, feel very confused. First, the high school stage is one of the most stressful periods in our learning career. The college entrance exam may mean different things to different kids, but it's a real test for most high school students, both academically and psychologically. Such pressure inevitably causes anxiety, fear and boredom in many children, which are all normal phenomena of stress adaptation. If these symptoms occur over a long period of time and affect normal learning and life, other forces, such as teachers, parents, or professional counseling, are needed to provide the necessary social and psychological support to help the child get out of the situation. Second, when the subject is plagued by negative psychology, self-study relaxation training and positive self-psychological suggestion, shift the attention to positive things, in order to adjust their own bad state of mind. Third, the subject can make a study and life plan for themselves, try to quantify the plan goals, according to the plan to arrange their own learning life, forcing themselves to complete every day, after completing the amount of the plan, and then a little bit more, every day a little bit more, don't look down on this, it can make you psychologically satisfied, more motivated. The above is a little personal advice, I hope to help the subject, thank you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14249
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is there always a flurry of interest in life?",
        "description": "Every once in a while I feel that life is too boring and want to find something to do, then I can't last a day, and so on and so forth, life is always stagnant.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the subject said: always every once in a while feel boring life to find something to do, but can not insist on a day, so repeatedly, life is a pile of dead water. From the subject's words, I feel that the subject is dissatisfied with the current life, but they do not have enough motivation to change. Or maybe there is no goal, so do not know what they want to do, what their inner needs are, resulting in a stagnant life. The subject's words are very short, but the meaning is very clear, life is boring. So I wonder if the subject has tried anything to change herself? When you find something for yourself to do, but can't last a day, what was the state of affairs at that time? What are your thoughts? Was it something you really wanted to do at the moment? How did you feel when you finished it? How did you feel when you gave up? Perhaps the questioner can think about these questions, which can better help the questioner understand himself. According to the subject's current state, to give the subject a few small suggestions: 1, awareness of their own, clear their current state is what they want, what they want, their hobbies and interests. 2, in the reality of the basis for life planning, starting from small goals. 3, when the completion of a small goal, to give themselves some rewards. 4, every day to keep themselves busy, and more for their own arrangement of some things to do. 5, If you have no way to adjust yourself, you can seek the help of a professional counselor to help you improve self-discipline and make life planning. Above, I hope it can help the subject, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! From your short description, it seems that you are a person who wants to be positive, but you are very confused about your future, lack of clear direction and goals, and feel that life is very cluttered and troublesome, right? I wonder how is your age, occupation and family? The worst thing about a person is that he/she has no direction of action, and he/she goes east for a while and west for a while on the road of life, and in the end, he/she doesn't reach the destination. According to your career characteristics, your strengths, your hobbies, your interests and the resources you can utilize at present, determine a direction and goal that can enrich you. It is not a bad idea to start with the smallest, most achievable goal, and then move towards the big goal step by step. Because small goals are easy to achieve, will let you from the realization of the goal to feel the joy and power of success, small goals see hope. If the goal is too big, it will bring a lot of pressure, and the possibility of success will be very doubtful. Failure to do so will bring great frustration and make you doubt your ability and lose confidence. Human life is like a parabola, like the ebb and flow of the tide, there must be ups and downs. Otherwise it would not be life. Life ups and downs fluctuations, can cause you to think is already your great realization. Just like a ship that is going astray, it will cause us to think and change the direction of travel. It's okay, my friend, as long as you can realize that you need to change yourself, it will happen!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner~ Actually, many people's lives are quite ordinary, but some people can become interesting, which is directly related to one's relationship with self, and with the world. For example, you usually go home by public transportation, suddenly one day after work decided to walk home, along the way you met a cat, saw a stray singer, saw a beautiful woman, but also saw a small couple fighting on the side of the road, but also noticed that the green belt on the side of the road and then change the flowers and plants. These small things will make us have very rich feelings. Enhanced sensibility will allow you to enjoy these gifts from the outside world and make you feel that life is interesting. In the matter of how to live a fun life, we need to have the ability to be alone, to play with ourselves, and to have fun. An interesting soul always finds things that are interesting, so being interesting is a very creative process. You mentioned that you find fun things to do, and it seems that you have the ability to find fun and interesting things to do, but lack the motivation to stick with it. There can be a little bit of psychoanalysis behind this one: 1) This thing may not be something you really want to do, or something that can really bring you joy. Interest is the best teacher, if you can't stick to it, this may not be an interest.2) About not being able to stick to something, this may be related to the experience during the growing up process, for example, the choices you make by yourself will always be denied by the people around you, so that you can't stick to your own choices, or before doing it there is a harsh voice inside that tells you you surely can't, surely won't be able to do it, give it up ...... Recommended people read the book \"Micro Habits\", you can take up a hobby at a time, start with tiny things, easier things. These are my answers, I hope to bring you some help. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ very understand your feelings, hug you ~ why the interest in life is always a burst, more normal, there may be many aspects of the reason. On the one hand, everyone's emotions are in a state of ups and downs, and it's normal for them to be depressed once in a while, a phenomenon that explains the existence of the \"mood cycle\". Some studies have shown that an emotional cycle lasts about 28 days, but I believe that this result is not the same for everyone, and there will be a little difference. Let's just say that within 28 days, we have both high and low moods. On the other hand it may have something to do with your routine. Maybe you have a more stable job and your day to day life is more repetitive. So in this state, you feel a little bored at times and then you feel like doing something new. You say you can't last a day doing something new. What is the thing to do? Because you could totally do something more relaxing and fun instead of using such an interest to challenge something. Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4813
       },
       {
        "question": "Looking for a few jobs but not sure which one to go for, if decisive judgment?",
        "description": "Recently, there is no work to look for a few jobs but I do not know which unit is good to go to confused and not able to judge decisively so hard to do!",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Career Choice Skills",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There is also a small way to try. Phenomenon of the next five or ten years, they have to live like, life, work, family, house, car, pets, etc. can think; then evaluate the hands of a few job opportunities, which is the closest to this state of hope for life, the most can be realized; if any of them do not work, either to adjust the expectations, or these several opportunities are not the best, may be the next one. I hope this helps the subject.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Lack of money to spend? If it's scarce, PK first and identify a job that is relatively ok. It's important to fill your stomach. If not, look again. We usually read books, and after a long time, those books we read will become our flesh and blood, nourishing the body and mind. The same goes for work. The road of life is so long that many people don't know how many jobs they have to change in their lifetime. However, human experience is both passing and growth, drum up the courage to face a job, most people's work is not a hobby, just to survive. Most people's jobs are not hobbies, they are just for survival. However, you can work while you are looking for what you really like! Go for it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19403
       },
       {
        "question": "With cancer running in your family, how did you get through facing the serious illness of a loved one?",
        "description": "At twenty past eleven, I arrived at the hospital, and on the bed my mom had begun to talk gibberish. Taking her hand, she repeated, over and over, what happened when I was a child. I soothed her until she fell asleep. Last week my father said she got up in the morning, one eye can not see, metastatic tumors in the brain caused a cerebral infarction intraocular pressure increased, down can only see broken light, from that day on, her consciousness is not very clear. Last night my dad called me and told me to take a few days off. Mom colon cancer, inherited in the family, my two uncles as well as grandfather, have passed away because of this disease in my childhood, one by one to watch them pass away. I thought I was immune to the whole crying thing, but when she was unconscious, she told me to open her bag and asked me to take 500 dollars, saying that she had secretly left it for me the night before she came to the hospital and asked me not to tell my dad. That day happened to be the first day she started to be less conscious, and in an instant, I broke down. Her eyes were looking at the ceiling, and when I said I'd put the money away, she clearly smiled and started repeating the same thing she did when I was a kid. I used to be afraid to let her see me when I dropped my tears, but now she can't see me when I cry in front of her. It's so hard. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family health",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There is another way to cure cancer is to put everything that makes you feel stressed to give up and put down or even forget, when you want to get something because you can't get and anxious, then you give up and put down the idea of wanting to get, when you are afraid of what you want to avoid what makes you irritated, you accept face to face acceptance, follow this method to try!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2103
       },
       {
        "question": "Sophomore male, life stuff, parents fight all the time, messing with my mind when I come home?",
        "description": "My parents often fight over trivial things in life, and both of them are busy, so they may come home in a bad mood after a busy day and often blame each other. I don't know if they can use this as an outlet to relieve stress, but it makes me forced to add another anxiety in addition to studying, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, Parental Communication, Growing Up",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner hello ah, give you a warm hug ~ can feel you in such a family atmosphere, must feel very troubled. From the parents' point of view, they return home after a day of work pressure, there will certainly be a certain emotional venting, both remember, in fact, venting of course, there will also be the emergence of conflict. Maybe they don't realize the impact on you. In a family, the family atmosphere is very important, especially for the growth of children. If your studies are disturbed, then you can find time to have a good chat with your parents about the discovery of their stress and how to deal with and harmonize the impact on the family atmosphere. Or you can have a family treaty, for example, everyone needs to throw off the stress from work when they come home and devote themselves to a family role. If everyone is unhappy about something, they can also confide in a family member, which is also a better solution than having a conflict in a more violent way. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20877
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you deal with your previous job when all sorts of anxieties come flooding in when you're alone?",
        "description": "24-year-old female, this year quit the job for 4 years, came to another city to work, because the epidemic work is more difficult to find, looking for a long time, when you find almost work to go to work, in the new job encountered difficulties or not as good as they would like to leave, and would like to vomit; but I feel that friends around me is not so accepting of me often to express themselves in such a negative mood, to the back of their own try not to say these, but when they are alone will be all kinds of anxiety come out, and recently sleep to listen to audio. But when I'm alone, all kinds of anxieties come out, and lately I have to listen to the audio to fall asleep.",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Work Stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, want to return to the original used to the comfort zone, this is human nature. In the work encountered difficulties or not as good as things are also very normal, life will inevitably encounter setbacks. But when you encounter setbacks and want to retreat or give up, perhaps you can change your thinking, think it is a small thing, you can definitely overcome it to overcome it, do not be defeated by it. Maybe you can think about this year, it is hard to find a job, more should be good to face, do not retreat in the face of difficulties, when you want to give up, maybe you can think about how much effort you have spent in order to find a job, do not let down your previous efforts and efforts Oh. When the negative emotions can not be completely and friends about it, perhaps you can think of ways to regulate it. For example, when the mood is not right, maybe you can go to the gym to vent, or go running, swimming, etc., you can also go out for a walk, breathe the fresh air, relieve the mood; maybe you can also listen to music or do some of their own hobbies, regulate their mood. You can even put down your hands, close your eyes and take a deep breath, meditate, clear your thoughts and smooth your emotions. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12627
       },
       {
        "question": "Reluctant to post your husband in your circle of friends? I know what my mentality is, but I just don't post it",
        "description": "I post about 1 friend circle a month, basically some of the attention, expect people to like the good old days, I think as long as the circle to show others, there is no such thing as \"I just care about my own happiness, I'm not for others to see\" kind of rhetoric! I don't post too often because people will be offended if I post too much, and I do get annoyed if I see people posting their own personal stuff, so I pick and choose the ones that make sense to me. Sometimes I post about my son, but not my husband. I'm sure some people will think I have a problem, that I'm not being honest and want to cheat on my husband, or something, and honestly I don't post because of that reason. Of course I know that nothing will happen, even if I have a favorite person, I will still live my life well, I am not stupid, I have a husband and a son, I can still destroy myself? But I don't feel comfortable in the sun, what kind of mentality is this?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Ideas, Cheating, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, the owner himself also said, you will live your own life, so even if you don't sunshine your husband's photo in the circle of friends is not excusable, these are their own willingness to do not willing to do things. We are all adults, in fact, do things their own happy is also very important, sometimes there is no need to care too much about other people's views, if you always care about other people's views, then you will aggravate their own. Everyone has their own habits, some people are accustomed to basking in their own family, basking in their own sweet, basking in their own food, while some people are not willing to bask in anything, want to have their own personal privacy life. And the owner is one of those people who are not willing to bask in their sweetness. In fact, it is not that the sun only proves their own happiness, not sun is their own unhappiness. Your own heart is clear on it. Life is short, let yourself happy is the most important. Do well on your own, as long as you are not too strange. I wish you good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5073
       },
       {
        "question": "18 How can a woman tell if she likes someone? What is the difference between a crush and a like?",
        "description": "In the face of their own appreciation or have eyes on the opposite sex, sometimes a small fantasy we two are a couple, this is this is normal? How to differentiate between favoring and liking the opposite sex?",
        "keywords": "Love. Love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ~ I understand your feelings very well, hug you ~ since you also said you just a little fantasy of their own and other people's relationship, of course it is very normal ah. I don't quite understand why you want to distinguish between feeling good and liking, does this distinction have any special meaning for you? Is there a big difference between having a crush on someone and liking them? There is a common understanding that having a good feeling is a light liking, while loving someone is a deep liking. Liking someone is a very normal and subjective emotion, and very often he is also out of one's control and normal. So if you feel that you shouldn't like certain people or you want to go and repress your liking, it's inappropriate and it's something that's hard to do. You don't have to feel any shame, any self-loathing for liking someone. The matter of you liking the other person is entirely your own freedom, and the matter itself will not interfere with the other person. Be confident, girl, in fact, you are fine and good ~ good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3756
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I am in constant conflict with my spouse and regret that I did not see eye to eye?",
        "description": "The child is 6 years old, every day is a fight, not used to all my behavior, is to blame the criticism, want to divorce and feel sorry for the child, torment and pain how to do ah!",
        "keywords": "Family, family relations",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I hope my answer can help you. **Now your child is 6 years old, but you find that you don't see eye to eye, you fight every day, you blame and criticize, you want to divorce while thinking about your child, and you are in such a dilemma situation. I think in this conflict, maybe you are suffering because you see your inner weakness or powerlessness, this is the part you need to go to grow. Either, having the courage to make certain decisions, or, having the courage to grow yourself, neither of which is something a weak self can do, and hence the regret. **In terms of marriage theory, the Sternberg marriage triangle consists of passion, commitment, and intimacy (sex), and if the three sides of the marriage triangle are more equal in length, the stronger the relationship will be. Passion: this is the basic conditions for love, which is like the \"excited state\" in chemistry, love needs to start from here. Commitment: this is the condition that guarantees the stability of love, like the \"ground state\" in chemistry, it is the basic state. Intimacy: Sex and intimacy, the catalyst and preservative of marriage, is a necessity. So, what is wrong in your relationship? This requires sober reflection. **I happened to write an article these days, \"Family, Lifetime of Karma\", which had this to say, \"How much karma have we accumulated to become a family. With partners, with children, with parents.\" What was it like in those 6 years, and why has it changed since then? Or maybe you're starting to wake up today and realize the problems that have existed for so many years, for example: on a psychological level, there is also a certain psychological subtlety of gaming couples, an invisible struggle for power as a couple. Behind the scenes, no one wants to lose to anyone, and if they lose, they lose face. So, to change, start with yourself first, first try to adapt to him? Then go to drive him to change to adjust. In the relationship between husband and wife, who win also actually lose, win face then lose the relationship, then what do you want? \u03b5 suggest to find a teacher to properly analyze, grow yourself, only really useful. I am in, the world and I love you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Life couples fight every day, do what the other side feel that you do not see eye or think you are not right, the continuation of the marriage as if for the sake of the children have to maintain, this day must be anyone's pain! Marriage has come to this, I believe there must be a reason, if for the sake of the children, then we not only need to maintain the marriage, but also need to do more that is the need to have a good quality of marriage. As for the marriage has come to today, why everyone is fighting every day, there may be many reasons, such as:1, both sides are easy to lose control of their emotions, more excited; 2, each to the other side of a lot of negative labels; 3, used to fight, duty way to solve the problem; ...... that if the above situation, how to do? Personal advice:1, good emotional management. At that time, this is the most difficult and the first step, in the event of conflict, aware of why they are angry? In addition to anger, what other moods? What do you generally do when you are angry and what is the impact on the other party? And so on, these are the need to sort out. 2, learn to pause. Conflict occurs, many people can not control, but can you pause, so that the ineffective way to stop, to avoid harm to everyone. 3, learn to separate people and things. A lot of things, most people like to people, things will be interpreted together, such as late back, that the other side do not want to be with themselves, and even hate home, the more they think about the more angry, but the other side may be just because the leader is present there is no way to get out of it, and so on. So in the matter is not clear, first stop imagining, stop angry. 4, heart and mouth unity to express their own ideas. Often partners hope that they do not say the other side can clearly know what I think, but it turns out that one side does not say the other side may not guess or guess or need a long time to know what the other side of the idea. Finally, if this may not help you or you can't do it on your own, consider seeking professional help! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 9143
       },
       {
        "question": "OCD is going crazy, one relationship breakup at a time, what to do?",
        "description": "I don't know what to do when I break up a relationship and feel like I don't know what to do, over and over again",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner of the building, hello, the owner of the confusing description is relatively simple, but can feel the many love breakups to make themselves do not know what is wrong. Here mainly want to discuss with you about the views of the breakup. 1. the owner said \"time and time again to break up\", the number of love is different people are not the same, everyone's acceptance is not the same. Some people take love as a way of exploring relationships, so multiple breakups are acceptable. Does the owner care about breakups by focusing on the number of breakups or his or her own worries and fears behind the breakups?2. Relationships can be growth-inducing, so how have these experiences changed you, and what are the positive impacts they have brought to you? Thinking about these questions can help you see how much you've grown and gained, and how the next relationship will be a new you.3. How have multiple breakups made you feel? Frustration, fear, judgment of yourself or something else, identifying what you are really thinking inside when you talk about breakups can help you see what beliefs about love about yourself you have right now that need to be shifted, change the beliefs, your perspective changes, and the way things affect you will change. I hope that the above few directions for thinking can inspire you, and I wish the owner the best of luck in opening her heart and continuing to love bravely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We have many strange thoughts and ideas popping up in our minds all the time, and when we are internally resistant and repulsed by them, we strongly try to suppress them from appearing. It is found that the more we try to control it, the more it entangles. It's like a balloon in your hand, the harder you try, the more it tugs at your hand and doesn't fly away. Right now you don't need to correct your thoughts, you don't need to control them from appearing. Whatever the idea is, you let go of it and it flies away. So what you need now is not to get rid of it, but to let it come and go freely. It will be like a balloon, although it will cross your sky, you don't have to pay attention to it. It will just fly away naturally. I recommend that you take a look at Mr. Deng Yuntian's Out of the Mire of Compulsion and Mr. Wu Nian's Thought Storm, both of which are suitable books for self-help. If you do find it difficult to make adjustments, you can also seek the assistance of psychiatrists and counselors whose main orientation is Morita therapy.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6807
       },
       {
        "question": "What to do when you first fall in love",
        "description": "First time in a relationship, but didn't like each other very much, want to give both sides a chance to try, what to do when dating",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see words like face, feel the subject is very cute, full of curiosity like a deer gently explore feet test, but do not want to hurt each other. Below to the subject of a few small suggestions it ~ if you can do so, it's great! 1. respect. Usually need to show high moral character, more considerate to others, acceptance of others, honesty and willingness to listen, etc. 2, trust. Being willing to pay attention to other people's wishes, treating others selflessly and reliably, together with the effect of time, trust can be built up.3. Positive reaction. Going out of your way to share good news with the other person and giving them enthusiastic congratulations when they share good news.4. Social support. We need to give each other good social support, how is good social support? The first is to match needs and preferences, the second is to discover and be grateful for each other's support, and the last is to form a secure attachment.5. Responsiveness. Then we need to form the habit of constantly discovering other people's needs and desires, giving attention, respect, enthusiasm and support, showing interest in what the other person says and does, and then constantly responding to the friend of the subject to cheer! The subject of such a dating object will certainly be very happy, the subject of the subject to rest assured and boldly go to express themselves! As long as you show your true self to each other and explore each other's hearts, you will not be in vain together.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 3480
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I help my best friend who has a bad reputation and has recently been misunderstood and ostracized?",
        "description": "My best friend is 17 and a sophomore in high school. She was not well received because she was often seen going to the neighborhood bar at night (most of the establishments there are off-limits to minors and are reminiscent of certain \"special professionals\"). It's because her parents work there and she goes to them every day, but her classmates don't know about it and some good people start to suspect her. The fact that she's pretty and wears makeup deepens their suspicions. The day before yesterday, my best friend bent down to carry something, was seen to tie a red rope around her waist (she grew up in poor health, her parents according to some superstitious customs, let her tie a red rope around her waist), but because of the waist to tie a red rope is also traditionally the sign of those who are \"special professions\", so those who are good at it feel that the evidence is conclusive, and began to rumor that she is a good person. She is shy and introverted. She is shy and introverted, and even though she tried to explain, she was easily choked back. I tried to explain to some people, but it didn't have much effect. I suggested that she should not wear the red string for a while and not go to the bar street at night, but she refused. Rumors have also been circulating about her in the grade group for the last two days, and ostracism has even begun in the class. Although the teachers know the truth, the mouths of her classmates can't be gagged. As a best friend, how can I help her?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Empathy, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "For a lot of good people, to see what's going on is their urgent state of mind, so this time we must not be anxious.1. Is the girlfriend received the impact? Because the girlfriends parents work environment, so because of this matter let her parents or girlfriends do not go to that place is a little unrealistic, and girlfriends are not willing to directly escape, we are not afraid of the shadow slant, a lot of rumors when we argue the more the more difficult to explain clearly, especially in some of the ulterior motives under the impetus of the people. So we can talk to our girlfriends first, if we can really ignore the comments of others, we can do the real themselves, then many rumors are really rumors, one of the best ways to deal with some good people is to ignore, of course, provided that we can not be influenced by them, if our mood will follow their fluctuations, then we need to adjust a little bit.2. When necessary Gather a little evidence. Although gossip is really difficult to explain clearly, but some facts in life can stand the test, so we can find time to record the real life of the parents of girlfriends through different forms, if possible, we can discuss with the class teacher to see if the teacher can help us find a time to put some of the life of the chronicle of the class meeting and the other students to show a little, to see the reaction of other students. We can discuss this with the class teacher to see if the teacher can help us find time to reveal some of our life stories to the other students at the class meeting to see how the other students react. Everyone has their own life, we'd better not look at it with colored glasses, some things may not be as simple as they seem, so if we have the opportunity we can show the truth to others, maybe there will be a different harvest. The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ~ from the owner's description of the general understanding of the situation, first of all, really admire the owner's courage, have seen a lot of people excluded from the campus, but dared to help the excluded people are very few, the owner is really very kind ah ~ - try to explain but no effect on the understanding of your people do not need to explain, do not understand you do not have to explain the explanation of the people once heard a sentence I once heard a saying, \"People don't believe in explanations.\" For people who do not understand you, they will only believe what they think, people cloud, for them it is just a topic of discussion before and after dinner, they will not take the time to prove anything. What the owner can do is to show that her trust is ostracized is a very helpless and sad thing, but at this time even just one person to say to her, \"I have me.\" That's all it takes to bring her warmth. So the owner has to keep giving her a hint: although other people are misunderstanding you, you still have me as a friend who trusts you. Establish a good mindset Since it is useless to explain, the teacher knows the truth, but the mouth of the students can not be blocked, it is difficult to change other people's opinions, it is better to focus on themselves, try to establish a good mindset. We don't have to care about people we don't know very well, and we should leave our hearts to those who care about us. And girls are still in their second year of high school, rather than being trapped by these gossips, why don't you try to study hard and live a better life and become stronger~ I hope this helps.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see the words ~ first of all, I'm happy for your BFF because it's not easy for her to have a friend who looks out for her so much. \ufe0fWhen faced with slander from the outside world, we will be angry, sad and feel helpless at first, and will be so desperate to explain to everyone. But you'll find that it seems to get worse and worse. \ufe0f After all, no one can do anything to make everyone like them, and the more we care the more we suffer. I think the best way to face those rumors is:don't argue, don't explain, let nature take its course, and be open and relaxed. Only in this way can we stay away from rumors and right and wrong. \ufe0fTime will wash away those rumors, all you can do is to stay by her side all the time, let her know that there is still warmth in the world, and be brave to face the coldness of the world. May you and your bestie both get better and better~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject wants to help her, and it would be best to just be there for her. The subject says that rumors about her have also been circulating in the grade group for the last two days, and that ostracism has even begun to occur in the class. Although the teachers know the truth, the classmates can't stop them from talking. As a best friend, how can I help her? For some people, they don't care what the truth is, they care that this thing I'm talking about will make me dare to be happy, and that's why they're keen to spread the word. Of course that's only one of the reasons, another is that they are projecting, for example, some boys or girls who want to go to a bar to have fun themselves, or have been there, and don't know the environment very well, but have just heard about it, and they are projecting what they imagine inside, onto others. Projection is a psychological defense mechanism, projection is the tendency to attribute one's own characteristics to others. The phenomenon of assuming that others possess characteristics similar to one's own when perceiving and forming impressions of others, projecting and imposing one's own feelings, will, and characteristics on others, i.e., the cognitive disorder of projecting oneself onto others. For example, if a person has experienced something, he will think that others will have the same experience as him, and so on. Projection is unconscious, and for the projector, this mental process occurs unnoticed and silently, so the questionnaire would like to help the best friend by enabling the individual to realize that he or she is overusing projection. Additionally, the questioner could suggest that the best friend seek social support, and where does social support come from? Her parents, friends, teachers, and so on. They can provide her with the appropriate emotional support and let her know that she is not alone in her struggle to heal her trauma, and that there are always people watching her back and encouraging her. So, let her tell and communicate her experience of being victimized to her trusted friends and family for their understanding and support. Generally speaking, the more social support she receives, the easier it will be to crack misunderstandings.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Lou Lou, hello ah \ufe0f \ufe0f first of all very envious to have you such a friend can for their girlfriends, hold the injustice, for you to point a praise \ufe0f and then we come to see how to alleviate a little of such a situation? 1. issued a notice to clarify the Lou Lou can make girlfriends, issued a notice to make things clear, so that everyone knows really want to say may not say anything again. 2. to find a more authoritative students in the school to help the Lou Lou can be with girlfriends, to find a more authoritative students in the school, let him put this matter to clarify, this is also an option. 3. the clearer the clearer the girlfriend if willing to change anything, then do not care about those messages, rumors. Schools have more authoritative students, let him clarify this matter, this is also an option. 3. clear self-cleaning girlfriends if you are not willing to change anything, then do not care about those messages, rumors, after all, we are not the shadow of evil. We can not control what others say.4. Accompanied by girlfriends to find her parents building can also try this method, since this building can accompany girlfriends to find her parents, so you can also change a little \ufe0f I hope that my answer can give you help \ufe0f may the building soon \ufe0f wish to solve \ufe0f may peace.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi: I'm happy for your best friend because you still want to believe her, which is especially important for her. Whether it's online or in reality, there will always be people who want to [attack others] without knowing the facts, which is actually a form of bullying. Perpetrators, often the mentality of their own internal problems, they are willing to choose to go with the flow, willing to choose to attack others, to release the pressure of their own psychology, but everyone is attacking others. Analyze and understand the problem: 1. BFF 17, sophomore in high school. She's not well regarded because she's often seen going to the neighborhood bar at night (most of the establishments there are off-limits to minors, and are reminiscent of certain \"special professions\"). It's because her parents work there and she goes to them every day, but her classmates don't know about it and some good people start to suspect her. (This kind of uninformed rumor is especially cruel for a 17 year old. And being in adolescence, it will have an impact on her personality, just like (Ma Si Chun) was bullied in school and later had a long period of depression. Your companionship is very important to her.) 2, plus the fact that she is pretty and usually wears make-up deepens their suspicions. The day before yesterday, my best friend bent over to move things, was seen to tie a red rope around her waist (she grew up in poor health, her parents according to some superstitious customs, let her tie a red rope around her waist), but because the red rope around the waist is also traditionally the sign of those who are \"special professions\", so those who are good at it feel that the evidence is conclusive, and began to rumor that she is a good person. The rumors about her. (Many people are really quite funny. They are jealous of people who are pretty, and when they do something, they associate it with them. It's not right to accuse people wrongly. Nowadays, children really parents have to reflect on it, this is the manifestation of psychological unhealthy, how can you understand things so? Tell your girlfriends, she is not wrong, nothing, do not need to be upset, do not need to explain, do not need to have any expression of unreasonable people, unless they directly attacked to her face, then you have to counterattack, not soft.) 3, She's more introverted and shy and can easily get choked back even though she tries to explain. You go and explain to some people but it doesn't have much effect. You suggested that she should not wear a red string for a while, and not go to Bar Street at night, all of which she refused. (Your BFF, though introverted and shy, is also very individualistic, she feels she is not at fault and indeed doesn't need to cooperate with those people, they can't gag them if they want to, it's what a person is really like on their own that counts. Work for many years I will understand one thing, once we also may invariably become that person who attacks others, but that person is not wrong, do not need to cooperate with the wishes of others to act.) 4, Rumors have also been circulating about her in the grade group for the last two days, and ostracism has even begun to occur in the class. Although the teachers know the truth, the classmates can't stop their mouths. As a best friend, how can I help her? (1, don't exhort her on what to do. 2, respect her, don't let her feel that you are prejudiced against her as well. 3, get along with her normally, it's BFF, you don't need a war party, you just need to do what you want to do. 4, if others don't ask, don't do anything for her in your own way, the clearer the clearer the better.) These are, the best you can do for her. Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! May your friendship last for a long time! May she grow into the sun and stay out of the way! If you are confused, write privately!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject's best friend is undoubtedly suffering from \"violence of public opinion\", although you know the truth, but those who indulge in violence of public opinion do not want to believe. This situation is common in today's society, the public's values and moral orientation are homogenized, people are not willing to think hard to distinguish the truth from falsehood, but prefer to follow the inertia of the mind to speculate on the judgment, only from the surface of the phenomenon of the people and things, without the ability and willingness to explore and analyze in depth. As a \"public opinion violence\" parties, the most upset is that no one is willing to believe her, she also has no one can trust, can be confided in, in this case can only suppress their own emotions, can only go to bear all the pressure, without any assistance, and finally often lead to tragedy. So she still has a girlfriend like you, who believes in her, sympathizes with her and supports her, so she can still see hope and feel love and trust, which is the most important thing. Maybe your strength is still too weak to eliminate the gossip. But as long as you stay true to yourselves and do your best not to be swayed by these malicious insults, one day the truth will shut these people up. Do not have to deliberately do some changes to justify the explanation, as long as you always stand by the side of the girlfriends on the good, companionship and trust is her greatest motivation, as long as she knows that there is a person worthy of trust, give her support, she will have the courage to face the storm.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to this girl! It is a great honor to be able to answer your question again, and it is the same question! I can feel that you care very much about your BFF, and I'm happy for your BFF to have a friend like you In fact, the teacher below has already said it very well, and I've said what I should have said in my last answer, so I'm not going to repeat it! I just want to say that your BFF needs a [social support system] now, i.e., what she needs most is more friends like you to [support] her spiritually, and with such support, even if there is all kinds of [gossip], she doesn't have to be afraid! So instead of going around [explaining], try to encourage your BFF to try to find support from her teachers, family, and those classmates who have a conscience. The more of this [social support] there is, the more she will be able to defend herself against all kinds of [gossip]. I hope this helps.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11079
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I keep fighting with my husband? I hate that he eats and drinks and doesn't care about the family",
        "description": "Husband love face all the time eating out drinking not to see the children we always fight he thinks I do not give him face I think he does not care about the family vicious circle soon to be divorced",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, divorce",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There are quite a few differences between men and women, and it's important to understand some of them if you want to minimize disagreements in your marriage. When a man gets married, even if he loves his wife and family more, he is basically less likely to disregard his friends, much less give up socializing completely for the sake of his family. But a woman may think more about her home and her children, and will be more concerned about her family and less about her personal needs after marriage. Therefore, you may need to understand what Mr. eat and drink behind what you want to achieve, such as obtaining good interpersonal relations, for promotion to pave the way for money-making entertainment. Of course, there must also be a few social occasions to maintain friendships. This part, you see yourself which some are agreeable, which some are not agreeable, for the disagreeable part, you can try to discuss with Mr., to see if there is a compromise or a better way to deal with it. As long as it's not a matter of principle, we need to respect each other. That is, although I do not like you like this, but I respect you at the moment is this. When you respect him, his face is there, the mood will be good. When a man is happy outside, think of home is warm, he is willing to go home. Things at home, you can also spread out and talk to Mr., the division of labor, the collaboration of collaboration, still do not forget the respect: I can suggest this, I can suggest that, but I also respect that you do not want to do certain things, this time need to consider, when the other party refuses to partially bear the time, their own in addition to the fight, there is no other workaround it? There are really difficult, or can be taken out again to discuss, after all, two people's days, there is a discussion is very important, any party has been compromised or concessions, are not in exchange for long-lasting happiness. The so-called vicious circle is the result of not giving in to each other. Want to improve, or to calmly sit down to talk about, how to go, are spread out to talk about, do not gamble, do not be righteous.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15869
       },
       {
        "question": "What do you do when you're 18 and can't stop self-harming?",
        "description": "What to do when you can't stop self-harming, consciously, because your high standards often hurt you",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-abuse, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject You said that you often hurt yourself because of your high standards, meaning that once you don't meet your high standards, you hurt yourself, right? You yourself understand that it is a high standard, so have you ever reflected on whether the standard you set for yourself would be too high? Is it possible to consider lowering the standard appropriately? Recommended that you read a book: \"from self-criticism in the liberation\", I think, you now need to come out of self-criticism, put your high standards down, do not push yourself too tight. You set high standards for yourself and what do you worry about? You feel that if you don't hold yourself to a strict standard, you won't be recognized or liked, right? However, you have to realize that no matter how good you are, you can't be recognized by everyone. Just take a look at the entertainment circle, no matter how beautiful and talented a star is, no matter how many people follow him, there will always be some people who do not like him, and even hate him. This is even more true for us ordinary people, some people will like us, and some will hate us, and sometimes it's not even our own problem, others will have their own prejudices, and dislike you for no reason at all. Therefore, there is no need to push yourself too hard, it is good to have a pursuit, but we should also live within our means, and also pay attention to the combination of labor and relaxation. You can't stop self-harming, so maybe self-harm has become a way for you to vent your emotions and punish yourself. You can try to vent your emotions in a healthier way, such as talking it out, shouting it out, writing it out, crying it out, and exercise will also have a good effect. What works for each person may be different, so take your time at first and find what works best for you. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, you have a mind for perfection while doing imperfect things and hurting yourself, are you holding a grudge against your parents? Are your parents demanding too much of you? Do they have high expectations of you? Your heart and your behavior are in a state of contradiction, what are you going through? Who do you want to see you hurt? Who do you want to be loved and cared for? Ask your heart, what do I want? It is recommended to call the Psychological Hotline and Crisis Intervention Hotline to talk to a psychologist about your inner feelings.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17757
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't want to do something and I need the right reasons?",
        "description": "This job doesn't want to continue again. I know I always give up half way through, but, I don't like the feeling. Maybe I did it because I felt like it at the time, but I really can't find any reason to like it now. Although I can find good things about it, such as not being tired, regularity, people being nice to each other, having lunch at noon, all of which seem to be envied and wanted by others, I don't want to continue. Just like the previous job, the pay didn't seem low to others, and it wasn't tiring, but I just didn't want to do it. As a result, I quit. I don't know what I really want to do. I didn't want to talk to my family either, and when I did, someone stopped me and told me I didn't know any better. I want to quit. Can't I just not say why? Because I don't know why!",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Career Choice Skills",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Simply on the matter of you quitting your job when you want to and not knowing the reason and not wanting to explain it, you're not wrong, it's your own business, you can make the call, you can keep it to yourself. When you quit your job when you want to, you can still live a comfortable life, be financially free, not bother any other people, especially your parents if you want to, great, you're great, not to mention you don't need any explanations, you call the shots. When you quit your job and your life still gives your family peace of mind, you're still great and don't need to explain yourself. However, if you quit your job and stay at home, your parents feed you and house you, and you need financial support from your family, it may not be your business to quit your job when you want to. You stay at home, your parents will worry about whether you meet something, will worry about your physical or mental health, you eat and live at home, and even need to spend their money, will bring a certain amount of economic pressure on parents, but more importantly is to make them uneasy, parents and children's love, and ultimately are pointing to the separation of the, that is to say, when you become an adult, you need to go out and live independently, the stronger your ability to live independently, the more peace of mind and comfort, and vice versa, the more you can live independently, the more your parents can live independently, the more your parents can live independently. The more you are able to live independently, the more at ease and comfortable your parents will be. On the contrary, they will be uneasy, and don't say it's none of their business, do you understand? It's hard for a family to be as calm as still water, and it really requires mutual understanding. Back to yourself, if you like it, do it, if you don't like it, quit, it can be interpreted as your personality or your capriciousness. Because real life, especially the adult world does not quite allow us to be so capricious. Many people in the workplace suffered a lot of aggression, but thinking that the income is not bad, thinking of the old and the young, this side has just been scolded by the boss, the other side still have to smile in the face of customers, this is a very realistic adult life status quo. Similarly, the child does not like the teacher, learning difficulties, he can not like learning, but we need to help him overcome the difficulties, in the process of overcoming the difficulties, so that the child slowly like to learn, the process of overcoming is to give more meaning to the dislike of learning is not easy, but he can give himself more choices in the future, today is not liked by the teacher, if you do not learn, then the future is not liked! Possibilities may still increase, but if one overcomes this difficulty today, one's academic progress and a bright future, one's possibilities of being liked will indeed increase. Being an adult is all about self-growth in the process of constantly overcoming difficulties. Suppose you don't need to think about the people around you, you don't need to think about the future, that's fine, you can continue to be like that, indeed it's your right. If you realize that you are not seeing hope and a future for yourself with these decisions, then ask yourself if you want to change? This is important, if you don't want to change, it doesn't matter, you can allow yourself to be like this for now, it's no big deal because I'm sure if life slaps you in the face one day, maybe you'll think about whether or not you want to change. But it's also possible that you'll get along just fine despite being this way, so that's not really a problem, is it? Anytime you think about it and want to adjust, it's okay, and if you don't want to adjust, it's okay, you make the call.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You want to quit your job without giving a reason, and you know it's not good to quit halfway through, but you just can't do it anymore. This kind of tangled state is bothering you, just like what you said: I don't know why, why I am like this. This confused state is very confusing. 1, as if it is difficult to insist on doing a thing, when feeling bored, want to retreat, quiet down and ask yourself, which do not want to insist on what is the reason behind, the owner also gave a lot of realistic reasons, each work can not be absolute benefits or disadvantages. 2, we have to find their own reasons to stay in these benefits and disadvantages, can be written down to make a list. Not only realistic but also psychological good and bad. Let's see if we can find a reason to stay here.3. We all need to be recognized and appreciated for our growth, and find the value and meaning of our existence in doing things. If just to survive to do the work must be very boring, in this work whether to find the fun or value, is to adhere to the biggest motivation. You can ask yourself where and what your existence or value is. What do you want to reflect your own value. 4, because of the little information given, I do not know how the relationship with parents, in the process of growing up, whether the parents get the affirmation and support, or whether in the process of growing up, the parents let themselves to try to do something, so that they have values, self-confidence. 5, if this state affects the work and life, or lasts for a long time, it is recommended that you seek professional help. Good luck, Qi Xiaoqi.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Seeing that you are so distressed, I hope my answer can give you some inspiration Basic situation: 1. often halfway, often change jobs 2. like a thing not long 3. don't know what you want 4. have problems with the relationship with family members The first two points may be the same in essence, and the psychoanalytic theory of object relations suggests that this may be related to the fact that we can't establish a long-lasting relationship with people in our childhood, and that liking a person or thing doesn't last long. I wonder if you were often separated from your parents in childhood (left behind) or changed caregivers often, or even were often placed in foster care with different families? Do you also show the characteristic of not being able to build a long-lasting relationship in your interpersonal or intimate relationships? Do you want to improve point 3/4, both are also inextricably linked, perhaps a sense of deprivation, a \"hollow disease\", we have been brought up by adults, do not need or can not have their own ideas, you have their own ideas, you do not listen to them do not know what to do. Also see your relationship with your family, you want to have a connection with your family and desire them to support you, but you can't get their support, all you can get is probably criticism and put downs, so you don't want to talk to them, and I can even feel your anger towards them, \"Can't you just not say why? Because I don't know why!\" Work really is an adult's own territory, and you certainly have the right to make your own decisions - it's your sovereign right to own your own world! Support! Recommended a book for you \"Live Life to the Fullest\" Good luck! R&M Psychology & R&M Heart.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4697
       },
       {
        "question": "How can you stop striving for perfection when you set your own expectations so high all the time?",
        "description": "I am a very high demand for themselves, the pursuit of perfection, came to work in a new environment, I would have been very introverted and timid, but I hate to everyone like me, and I have a very good relationship with me, and I play, but I seldom take the initiative, so and around the relationship with the colleagues in general, nothing very good, but I always hope that all the people and I have a very good relationship, so the requirements of the high, can not reach, very low self-esteem, always feel that I always feel bad about myself. How can I not be so demanding of myself and pursue perfection?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Personality Traits, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "One of the keys to not demanding so much of yourself and not striving for perfection is accepting yourself. I also hear you say that when high expectations are not met, you have low self-esteem and feel bad about yourself. Now I want to ask, how would you describe yourself? Can you see yourself as a whole person, with your unique traits, strengths, and areas that need to grow and change? Do you accept yourself as less than perfect, or do you feel that I am only acceptable if I don't have those bad parts? The truth is, we can be less than perfect. The imperfect us is just as worthy of being loved. So when you do accept yourself, you will not be so demanding of yourself, or of others, and you will not be so much in search of perfection. But it's a process that takes time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2820
       },
       {
        "question": "Ask your girlfriend to borrow money to cause a breakup? Now the girlfriend said to be friends, how to do?",
        "description": "I wanted to save the relationship and wanted to see her every day. In the end, I feel dizzy, short of breath and depressed.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Lost Love, Getting Your Ex Back",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, in fact, I think the two of you did not do wrong, only may be your girlfriend, they simply can not accept their boyfriend to borrow money from him, and you may also be out of helplessness. Only out of this strategy. In fact, two people together is a boyfriend and girlfriend when it is best not to mix too much money in it. Because then between the two people sooner or later is going to be a problem, may slowly between your feelings become not so pure. There is now if you are really short of money, you can go to find their good friends to borrow, there is also in the usual to make their own efforts to earn money, the best to develop a good habit of saving money, if there are unexpected events, the need for money, you do not have to go to beg others. You need to know that it is better to ask for help than to ask for help. You should also have a plan when you spend money in the future. They can help you this time, but they can't help you for the rest of your life. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17995
       },
       {
        "question": "I am afraid of communicating with my parents, they are too strong and I am emotionally repressed, what should I do?",
        "description": "I'm afraid to communicate with my parents because my dad is too strong and my longstanding relationship patterns have caused me to be emotionally repressed.",
        "keywords": "Family, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hugs to the owner, who says she is afraid to communicate with her parents because they are too strong. Maybe they should take care of you a little more in their normal life. They take care of you a lot, probably because they don't worry about you. In fact, we can't stop communicating because we are afraid, because communication is a bridge between people. If you don't communicate and choose to avoid it, you can't solve the problem at all, and it may even make the problem worse and worse. What do we communicate for? We communicate to solve problems. You can't stop communicating just because you're afraid. For this matter, I think in the future you can first look for the reason from yourself first. For example, when you have a conflict with your parents, what do they want you to do, you can reflect on yourself first, what they say is right? Your parents love you, they won't do you any harm, they want you to get better and better. They have traveled longer than we have, and have more social experience than we do, so they may be able to look at things a little more comprehensively. You can first consider their views, and then think about your own. After that, you can choose the optimal solution through communication. Never fail to communicate. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1917
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it that whenever we have a fight, our boyfriends always don't show up for work the next day?",
        "description": "Every time and boyfriend quarrel, he always the next day or even a week do not come to work, we are a company, and then we can not find him to find me, and finally always I went to find him to ask why he did not come, he did not say, and then well, this time again, last time we quarreled, I said the next time you are like this, the leadership came to find me I said we broke up, but this time is still like this, this is in the end, what psychological I can't get enough of the cold war.",
        "keywords": "Love, fights.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, when one of our ways of dealing with things works for others, we form a method of dependence, it is difficult to change, and do not realize that we need to be woken up. From your description, we can see that you are currently annoyed and helpless, your boyfriend's way of dealing with the conflict between you is avoidance and cold violence type, and make you in the company's image has some damage, they also produce a sense of passivity, will be threatened and take hold of the feeling. Maybe in your boyfriend's eyes, this way is working, and will not let his dignity is damaged, occupy a certain initiative, but in fact, this is a way of his escape, because he does not know how to resolve the conflict, and choose to escape and hide. You can communicate frankly with your boyfriend, express your inner feelings clearly, your \"next time this will break up\" and other words, may want to stop the other side of the way to deal with things, but also has a \"threatening\", essentially and the boyfriend to deal with conflict The essence is the same as the boyfriend's way of dealing with conflicts. In addition, you can also ask each other the purpose of such behavior, perhaps, because too much care for you, or personality reasons, resulting in a lack of experience in dealing with emotional conflicts, more passive, and in the relationship of attachment is avoided, you may need to slowly give each other trust and encourage each other, so that you face the problem together. Conflicts in the relationship is normal, there is no always smooth and sweet love, can be closer to the real each other through each other's continuous communication and understanding, appropriate compromise and forgiveness, will not make your love less, just the opposite, because there is no born 100% couple, only after a long time of bonding and cooperate with the perfect partner. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13448
       },
       {
        "question": "What if I can't find a specific reason, I'm very low, and I'm in a bad mood?",
        "description": "I've been feeling very low lately but I can't find any specific reason but it could be because I've been having trouble with my boyfriend for almost a month and I'm very low and I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Emotional Regulation, Vulnerability to Tears",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Although you said you couldn't find a specific reason, you quickly thought of a reason - maybe it has something to do with the quarrel with your boyfriend... Sometimes, you may feel in your heart that it doesn't matter, but I think there is a necessity for you to be the first one to think of this reason. Emotions have their regularity of development, for example, you will be happy if you pass the exam and get a raise in salary, but no one will be happy if you have a fight and fall. A month's quarrel with your boyfriend will affect your emotions, think it is also very natural. Well, in this matter, have thought of ways to solve it? You can communicate with your boyfriend to see what the problem is and what can be done to solve it. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16845
       },
       {
        "question": "Not willing to go to a small company, there is an obsession in the heart is too painful, how to solve it?",
        "description": "Ordinary two graduates, has always wanted to make money, but there is no planning, or have career planning reality is not at all in accordance with their own planning can be carried out. After graduation, marketing and sales have done, when entering the company is more pit, leading to the follow-up of their own perception is wrong, so many years to choose the enterprise is not very good, so the inner obsession is to enter a good company, have perfect treatment, promotion space, now the ability to I personally think I can, but the small business has no room for development, the position of the same salary, large and medium-sized enterprises can not get in, stuck in this is not up and down. In the blink of an eye looking for a job for 6 months, their hearts know that they should work immediately. But find a small company salary treatment is not good, like when graduating from college, not willing. Relatively good point of the enterprise did not have the opportunity to interview, many times to convince themselves to go to the first small company and convince themselves, in the small company, I guess the last job in life, there is no opportunity for development, how to do? The obsession is too painful",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Career Choice Skills, Work Stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It's called the highs and the lows. It's a pain in the ass, a pain in the ass, isn't it. In fact, you hope that the hero does not ask for the source. But in your heart, you despise small companies. Right? This double standard, to reduce a weight, okay. In fact, it's okay, say myself. 70's born people, from the lack of food and clothing in the collective life all the way through, although has been free from the lack of supplies of the trouble, but this experience so that we have developed a herd, thrift and struggle personality. Speaking of the collective view, solidarity and mutual help, labor is the most beautiful. 70's born from the history of the people once came from the education about traditional culture, reform and opening up to the earlier turmoil of the Cultural Revolution, have been combed and deep reflection in this generation. 70's born of the people may have encountered more reality on the challenge of the ideal, but as long as possible, we will still want to do everything possible to go after their own former Dreams. Stick to your dreams and let companies of all sizes become a platform for your own fulfillment.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17762
       },
       {
        "question": "No confidence in life, standing at the intersection, do not know how to choose, afraid of the end?",
        "description": "I feel that I always have to face some unpleasant choices in life, it's hard, I'm not interested in doing anything, I don't know how to adjust my state, I have no motivation, I'm very anxious by the problems, I'm not in the mood to do anything, and I'm very pessimistic about life.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ hug you people need to make countless choices in life, each choice has a pivotal role for us, it is because of life's fork in the road so much, so have a colorful life ah ~ and you share a little bit of my experience, I hope to be able to give you a bit of help ah ~ first of all, to figure out their own position. There are so many choices, not all of them are satisfactory, inevitably there are some unpleasant, unwilling to face the choice. But it is also because of these choices that we live a different posture. Facing the choice we just need to figure out our own position, in the case of moral and legal allowances, respect for the heart is the best choice. Second, build confidence and persevere. \"Man is able because he believes he can.\" In fact, there is nothing that can not be done, a drop of water can also penetrate the stone, everything is valuable to persist, for some unwilling to face the choice, we have to believe in ourselves, tell ourselves that there is nothing impossible, the worst but start over, but they will not regret. Finally, improve self. The ability of the self is very critical, all we can do is to do our best to invest in ourselves and improve ourselves. Make yourself better so that when faced with choices you will be more determined and your goals will be much clearer. With love and words to you, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Evening well seeing your words, I suddenly thought of that saying - when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss is also gazing into you. [Choice] Choice is something that no one can hide from. We are always moving forward, and this road is never a road that does not diverge, it will have many crossroads. Standing at the crossroads, some people hesitate, some people straight forward ...... standing at this crossroads, no matter what, finally have to choose a direction, and then along it forward. No matter what, they have to weigh well, and then, ultimately, the choice to make out. The road you choose is not the best, but it's the one you're happy with. Give yourself a vacation. Emotional, mental, spiritual ...... Sometimes, not all of a sudden to be able to think clearly, not all of a sudden to be able to find the answer, not all of a sudden to be able to make a choice ...... So give yourself some time to find. [Life] I think life is really a strange and wonderful. Always filled with a variety of events, but also a variety of events gradually constitute a colorful life. If you look at life from a pessimistic point of view, it's okay. Why should all people be optimistic about life. Each person's life is different, and experiences are different, so naturally they look at it differently. However, I think maybe when we are in a rainy day, we look at it as gray; in a sunny day, it is colorful. May your sunny day come soon.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14826
       },
       {
        "question": "Am I the most redundant one, the one who's alone before thinking about how to leave?",
        "description": "I can't sleep, I know I'm in a dream, but I just can't wake up, I'm dizzy, I'm not interested in anything, I feel like the world is full of strangers, it's depressing, I think a lot about it, I think about how to die without disturbing others, without letting them feel bad, it's pathetic, I don't want to mess with anyone, I don't want to let go of my mom, and I thought of leaving as a family, I don't know how to say it, I feel like the world might be beautiful but it's not about me, I'm just the most redundant person. I'm the one who's not thinking about myself.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Bear hug hello ah, close your eyes to fine to experience write these words you, suddenly want to cry do not know what you went through, emotional state so bad, I was anxious, but also can not reach you, you are now okay? \ud83e\udd7a There is no one in this world is superfluous, you are not, I am not, believe in the inclusiveness of the world, we are all valuable, only that our light is too subtle, perhaps others have not seen the good-hearted people, always consider others, consider the feelings of others, before I read a sentence, heartless people live well, but instead of the good-hearted people will be sick! Our emotions are like a line, there are ups and downs, when it falls to the lowest point, it will go up, don't be discouraged, don't give up \ud83e\uddf8 go and tell your family, and close friends, they all love you, and won't think that you'll be a problem, give them the opportunity to love you to a professional mental hospital to see okay? When I was in the hospital before, there was a young lady who felt like she couldn't be interested and had no energy every day, she ended up being cured in the hospital, believe in yourself, you can too you can talk to me about anything, you don't have to feel like it's a hassle \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 5943
       },
       {
        "question": "20 year old girl, last 6 months, why do I question my understanding of love?",
        "description": "I know my boyfriend loves me, and I used to love him a lot, but a fight made me question my understanding of love. I know it was just a small thing, but he always provoked my anger with just a few words, and I started to lose control of my emotions. I'm usually pretty mild-mannered, not the type that has a bad temper and can't talk properly. But I can't seem to talk properly to my boyfriend, and after being with him for almost three years, I still can't talk to him about things. I don't know if it's because I can't walk away, or if I still can't accept certain things or attitudes. I would like to be with my boyfriend but I'm getting a little tired of the relationship. What is love and what am I supposed to do with it?",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Security, Arguments, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello very sympathetic to your current confusion, each of us in the growth of the road more or less must be inseparable from the confusion of the relationship. Three years of love is actually not short, this is likewise a division area, the past will run forward to the wedding banquet. Just saw the owner of the claim to see, the problem is to find the source of the most fundamental, anything happens will have a lot of small factors collection, the owner as long as the quiet mind, think back to the three years of things that happened, good or bad, see what they want and what he did, is not he wants to develop later on the soup. At the same time, the owner can also do a slight change, if the effect is not obvious, then it is best for the two people face to face to talk about it, say open to say all, and jointly discuss the solution to this problem. I hope to be able to help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I've never been in love, but my understanding of relationships is this: as long as he can treat me well for the rest of my life and is not particularly poor (at least he can support himself); ambitious, but not overly ambitious; honest and simple, but not so stupid that he won't fight back even if he is beaten up; no need to be particularly handsome, just smooth (I don't think it's too much to ask, right?). I don't think it's too much to ask. Even if I was blind and found a scum guy, I wouldn't do anything out of the ordinary for him (would someone as scummy as me seek death for a scum guy?). Haha~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21610
       },
       {
        "question": "28 years old and confused about the future, how do I find out where the road ahead lies?",
        "description": "At the age of 28, I'm in a stable relationship but not yet married, I have a stable career but I'm confused about the future, and although I'm learning new knowledge every day to enrich myself, I still can't see where the future road lies...",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! 28 years old, belongs to the pre-adulthood, the establishment stage of career development. The relationship is stable, the career is stable, and the future is full of confusion. I read a little bit of instability in your confusion, the instability of the stability of the present. To be precise, this stability does not seem to be enough to support your fantasies about the future, and you have no way to create a structure for the future on this basis. What is it that makes you vaguely uneasy? Maybe you still have some ideas, maybe you still have unfulfilled dreams ...... How to find the way to the future? I don't know what aspect of learning new knowledge you are focusing on. If you focus on specialized skills, you are only limiting yourself to improving your area of expertise. Try to pay attention to a larger scope of things, society, life ...... to learn from the wisdom of previous generations, to get reference from other people's lives, to bring yourself more thinking. The road to the future is wherever your mind goes. If necessary, you can ask me to talk about career planning. I am my love career planner ice ice.",
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        "questionID": 22331
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       {
        "question": "Senior year of high school, should you let go of the hate or stay obnoxious in the face of a fallen out friend?",
        "description": "Used to play very well, think of themselves as friends, but for some reason a very big and very long time conflicts, in a class head up not see low see, forget, can not let go, see will be very bored",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Conflict, Friends, Housemates, Classmates",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner: read your description of the situation, you should be with a very good friend because of some things have a big contradiction, you feel hurt, you do not know whether you should let go of her hatred or continue to keep your boredom of her mood. Let me talk about my thoughts:1. There is an ABC theory in psychology for evaluating a thing. Emotional ABC theory was created by the American psychologist Ellis, who believes that the stimulating event A (activatingevent) is only the indirect cause of triggering emotions and behavioral consequences C (consequence), and the direct cause of C is the individual's perception and evaluation of the stimulating event A and the belief B (belief). That is to say that the emotion (C) that you think that you have been hurt by your friend and that you feel sad inside is not directly triggered by what she has done (A), but is most importantly influenced by your thoughts, interpretations and evaluations of the event. Thus, one is not troubled by the thing, but by the perception of the thing. You can also try to analyze from different perspectives whether there could be some other reason why she did that. If it is the result of some other reason would you still have such a hard time.2. About whether to let go of the hatred or continue your boredom with her. This is also totally up to you. I also used to think that friends should be two for two and righteous. Later, read a lot of books, experienced a lot of things, only slowly understand: no one is perfect, in everyone, there are some aspects of weakness; everyone has a different outlook on life, world view, values, on the same thing, everyone's approach will be very different. It is normal, then, for you to be different from me; it is also normal for me to disagree with your ideas; it is also normal for me to hate you. It's just that, while I don't agree with you, I have to respect your right to handle things this way. If you also agree with the above ideas, perhaps some of your knots will open up some. 3, I think, before making a choice, can not first ask yourself: I choose which way will make myself relatively feel relaxed mood some? Maybe this will find the most suitable way for yourself. No matter what choice you make, remember to find a way to adjust your mood. After all, now that you're in your senior year of high school, there's a more important task waiting for you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Should you let go of your hatred or remain nasty in the face of a friend you've broken up with? Actually, if you simply look at this question, I certainly hope that you can let go of the hatred. Because if you keep the hate, it won't do any good to both of you, and it will give you a big psychological burden. Letting go of the hate is part of acceptance, accepting yourself, accepting each other, and accepting that you're no longer best friends like you were. You are high school students, I do not know what kind of conflict has occurred between you, will make you from very good friends to now this very embarrassing situation. On the one hand, friendships are really precious. And it's even more so with friends you meet at the school level, because they are not too utilitarian or worldly. On the other hand, a lot of relationships can't be maintained just by pushing each other. Many relationships need to be properly managed and let go. So I suggest you go back and look at that conflict that happened. Whose problem was it? Is it really unforgivable? Is there any misunderstanding in the middle of this conflict? I hope you will seriously consider how the relationship will develop afterward, and it may be all up to you. But no matter whether it is divided and, you have to let go of that hatred. Cherish and walk, some people say can't see it really can't see it anymore. Good luck~.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hi friend, I hope the following answer is helpful to you. Getting into trouble with your best friend is something that quite a lot of people go through when they are students, and we may even face it when we get into the society and work. If it's just someone who doesn't matter to you, I don't think you'll be bothered by it. Coming here to ask questions shows that you still care about this friend oh! Here's my advice: 1. Life is long, but there aren't too many genuine friends we can make and keep in touch with for the rest of our lives. So if you meet one, please cherish it. Life is short, don't waste time in hate and loathing, take some time to find the good and focus on the good, including how to make the relationship good. Later you will realize that many people walk and fall apart, and many of the loathing that you once thought you couldn't get through and couldn't let go of will dissipate with time. When you look back on it, just think of it as youthful ignorance and laugh it off. Imagine the best scenario is that now you first choose to put down the hate, the future of the wine to laugh at each other's childish ignorance is you. 2, put down the hate to get free. Of course, it may be difficult for you to let go. Unless you can immediately figure out point 1. Because of this conflict, you haven't communicated for a long time, right? You have been upset for a long time, maybe the person didn't take it to heart, then it's yourself you are torturing. I once hated someone, at first I thought this hate, just talking about this person I clearly know for him is this emotion just, life can still go on. Then one day, a year later, I read a book that said, \"Forgiveness is the only way to be free,\" and I was instantly struck. I thought to myself, \"My hate is just keeping me from being free, and I'm still having nightmares about this person even though I seem to be living a normal life. So I began to be sincere, to forgive. I followed the prayer scriptures and meditated on forgiving the other person in my heart, many times until I felt it was okay. Then once it was mentioned that he had hate in his heart, I started to meditate on it. And you know what, then something magical happened, I'm pretty sure I don't hate him anymore, his name doesn't affect my emotions anymore, and I haven't had a dream about him since then. Letting go of hate is setting yourself free. Believe me, whatever emotions you have towards the other person have no effect on them unless they have emotions towards you too, and that's something he needs to work on. Try my method!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see your question, know with a good friend fell out, because it is the same class, head up, head down, let you feel awkward. I do not know because of what things and fall out, but I do not feel with should be put down or not put down such a conclusion to look at, just like you raise this question, the reason why raised because of irrationality, think put down you are not willing to, do not put down and make you embarrassed, this is the key to the problem. You can look at these two aspects of the conflict, because what and can not let go, I think this may have anger, aggression and other emotions in it, to see this part of the emotion; and why awkward, two people look up to see, but afraid of their own part of the hostility to her (anger at her, refused to forgive). When going through the process of sorting this out, you'll be in a better position to make choices. My advice is that once you understand yourself, if you can accept that you just won't forgive her for a while, then be at peace with yourself; if you really can't accept that and want to make up with her, then go ahead and tell her about your grievances, how much that hurt you, and how much she means to you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5936
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I'm an 18 year old girl and I can't really read the questions on my GCSEs next Tuesday?",
        "description": "Recently, the problem is always wrong a lot, almost no right, the second year of high school began at home to suspend, they are also every day to mix, but the level of itself is not bad, a little smart, has always felt that they can go to the second, the results of the reality is too cruel, not only did not learn will not be, originally will be forgotten, a few days ago to resume school out of the vomiting physiological reaction, so stop, at home to do the problem effectiveness can be, the closer the higher the more wrong, absolutely! It's not because I'm nervous, but I really can't understand the questions, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Stress Management, Work Study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello, do what can be done right, the rest by luck, do not give yourself pressure and high expectations, step by step to complete the final study tasks. From your description, we can feel that your current state is not very good, because you can not read the questions and wrong questions, and let a greater pressure, worried about their own college entrance examination results are not very good. Maybe you are not because of nervousness to do wrong questions, but the knowledge points and topics itself, you are not mastered, time and again more wrong, is to remind you of the missing knowledge points. You can from now on will have done every set of paper, which all the questions to understand, divided out which types of questions you can basically all right? What are the questions that you can understand after reading the answers and won't get wrong next time? Focus on these questions and make sure you get them right in each new paper. For those topics that are different every time and are not understandable, study some of them reasonably well, if you have enough time, you can carefully understand and think about the answers, so that you accept the knowledge point, if you do not understand anyhow, you need to give up, and do not be affected by their mistakes, because 7 days to ensure that, in each subject, the two types of topics described above (all right, after reading the answer will be right ) are correct, is already a lot of effort and time, do not be greedy. Everyone's ability to accept knowledge and speed is limited, in your idle days, some of the knowledge that should be accumulated, may not be well accumulated, so accept the current state. Pay attention to adjusting your routine and diet to avoid some distractions. It is very understandable that the more wrong you are, the more anxious you are, and there is a great sense of urgency, but accepting that you have not laid a good foundation, the first thing you need to do is to accept it, instead of blaming yourself and regretting it, instead of asking yourself why you didn't try hard enough at that time, you should think about how to get yourself more marks in the next 7 days. In addition, don't be disturbed by some things that have nothing to do with the exam, let yourself learn to block them out, put all your heart and soul into studying and reviewing, don't worry about the result, and don't regret the before, let the next 7 days, make a real effort. Keeping your mind on an even keel, eating a nutritious diet and a regular routine, and maintaining a sense of certainty as usual will give you more peace of mind. Lastly, give yourself some confidence that your efforts can get results and that you can get through these days, go for it. Good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 17953
       },
       {
        "question": "Wanted to be a star performer, didn't realize it, accomplished nothing at 27, feeling regret?",
        "description": "Probably from junior high school I have a dream, want to be an actor star, probably because that time especially like to watch TV, and so on when I graduated from junior high school, I told my parents that I wanted to go to dance, my parents do not agree, but also told a lot of the disadvantages of dancing, then I did not understand I had to give up, and then listened to my parents to learn accounting, but graduated from the accounting did not engage in, graduated from school I told my parents I wanted to be an actor! I like to perform, I was only 19 years old, my parents do not agree, think I'm joking, but also said that I look average, more than I look good to go, and no talent, and when the actor star is to spend money, our family is not so much money, think I'm fooling around, but also said that you want to go to go to be a mass of actors to go to see how bitter, in short, my parents said a meal, I was honestly stayed at home again, but to stay! After the home life is very bad, because it is not my intention, not my heart the most wanted life, so has been tossed, and parents are not good, to now 27 years old, nothing, feel so regret ah, if not listen to their parents at the beginning on the right, go out to break into the world, even if it did not succeed, at least have the social experience, but also than the present life is good alas!",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Laws of Development, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It's really great that you have a dream, whatever it is, that's a life goal. You wanted to dance for the first time and become an actor for the second time, but both of them were given up due to your parents' opposition and discouragement, and you ended up following your parents' arrangement to take a path that you didn't really like in your heart. The crux of the problem is that you did not choose this path of your own accord. It is because you do not like the arrangement of the parents, so there will be internal resistance to your own profession and work do not agree, so there has been no motivation and passion to do a good job, walk this road. So now you feel that nothing has been accomplished and there is no sense of accomplishment. You used to dream of dancing and being an actor, because it was your own choice, so you feel that you won't have any regrets, and also let yourself have more room for fantasizing - maybe dancing or being an actor I can be successful, instead of accomplishing nothing like what you are doing now. It's hard to say now whether you would have been successful if you had been able to go down the path you chose and enter that industry. If you didn't succeed, would you have felt that you had accomplished nothing and regretted that you didn't listen to your parents and take another path? You can't go back to the road you've already traveled, and you can't change the facts that have already happened. It is always hard to know what will happen in the future, so we often regret and fantasize a lot. But we forget to focus on the present and live in the moment. You blame your parents and your past self for your \"failure\" and \"failure\". But in fact, although you listened to your parents at the time, but at that time you can make the best decision within the scope of your knowledge and ability, in fact, is also your own internal choice - not dare to take risks for the dream and finally choose a stable road. So there is no need for regret or resentment. And what you can do now is also what you can do within your current knowledge and ability. If you feel regretful and sorry now, ask what you can do for yourself with your current abilities. What can you do to capitalize on the present and have a chance to change the future? Is it better to choose a stable insurance or to take a risk to try?The age of 27 is actually just a starting point in a person's long decades of life. If you think that you can say that you have achieved nothing at the age of 27, and give up all your dreams and attempts at an early age, then you may really be at the end of the road for decades to come. Then you may really be nothing in the decades to come. And those until the 80s or even 90s are still trying to grow and strive for their own life goals, perhaps for you is a distant myth. As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago, followed by now. Instead of regretting and lamenting that you've accomplished \"nothing\" and then waiting to die, why don't you try picking up a hoe and digging in the dirt to plant a sapling of hope? It's up to you, not your parents or anyone else, to make your dreams come true.",
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            "end": 698,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 698,
            "end": 793,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 793,
            "end": 839,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 839,
            "end": 865,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "All of us have a dream inside of us, a kind of life that we want, but wanting just stays on top of the word think until it really comes true, which requires very much effort and hard work in between. To be honest, it's really hard for parents too, who all want their children to do well, so they will use their limited experience to teach their children, but unfortunately, even if they give their best, they can't do what their children want. In the same way, we can't be what our parents want us to be, no matter how hard we try. It would have been impossible for there to be two identical people in this world because we all come from different backgrounds, upbringings, and experiences, right? Be thankful that you are an adult now, accomplishing nothing, and don't get involved with your parents anymore, that will surely make your energy lower and lower, do you think we can find ourselves where we are when we are in the midst of resentment? When they raised you, reading and graduating to society, their any basically completed [we do not talk about the matter of feelings now, this part is not completed say]. So, this time to ask yourself, what is your dream at the moment, if you still have a dream, go to try ah, do not take the past as an excuse for anything, is to go to action, go to do to see, do you think it will be difficult?27 years old, life is just a beginning, afraid of what! I believe that many teachers here, except for those who came from the science class, may be your age or older before they start to develop in the counseling industry, so, at any time, as long as you take action, it's not too late. Of course, before taking action, you still need to do a comprehensive assessment of your own ability in all aspects of personality, may be more conducive to your future development, if you have the conditions, we recommend that you can find a counselor to talk about.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I saw such an article: [Survivor Bias] people see the famous game anchor in front of the camera to talk and laugh between the monthly income of 100,000, they feel that the game anchor is very lucrative, so abandon the school into the live broadcasting industry, the results of the academic career two empty. The first thing you need to know is that you have a good quality of life that comes from self-discipline, and at the same time, you also share your own process of adhering to the fitness process and ultimately the happy ending of a beautiful woman, and you realize that you are starting to fitness, but how can not understand why fitness for so long is still a single dog. The key to survivor bias is that behind every bright and shiny achievement, there are countless cannon fodder. Most of the professional game anchors' income hovers around 2,000, and most of the fitness successes haven't changed the quality of life. You only see the people who stand on the stage to receive awards, but ignore that there are still a large number of people who aren't even qualified to participate in the competitions. What's more, most of what people share is their glamorous side, and the experience of struggling hard and getting nowhere is something few people are willing to share. The subject wants to be an actor star, probably more envious of their glamor, success and gold, the seemingly easy, free, pleasant, perhaps want to escape the pain and tiredness of learning. Because, you do not have a strong desire to be an actor, did not make any efforts in this direction, and did not bite the bullet and insist that you must learn, parents a block on giving up, mixed up poorly on the thought of it, blaming the parents, you are just for yourself to find a reason or an excuse - really want to be an actor, will go to the study of the actor what qualities are needed, these Do not necessarily have to go to a special school to learn, you can use their spare time to practice, the subject from the beginning of wanting to be an actor, have read a lot of books every day to improve their own cultivation, connotation and knowledge? Have you been practicing your Mandarin to get a license? Have you sung, danced and played musical instruments in your spare time? Have to the movie to practice lines, expressions, emotions can come at any time, put and take it freely?...... similar preparation can be done at any time, more than a decade of time to adhere to a, and now the level is also very high. Look, the early years of many stars are not from the class, they have eaten the bitter, tired, with the heart is not \"just say\" so simple, you can online Baidu, really a lot of ...... my favorite comedian, Bean, Kim Kelly, Stephen Chow. Wang Baoqiang, Huang Bo are not science class, but does not hinder their achievements - solid with a lot of time, their own training, they figure out the real work. The most important thing is that the show business is a big dyestuff, I'm afraid that you went to be dyed black, was cheated, but nothing to get. This social experience will be a pain in your life. Now the subject is 27 years old, but if it is arranged by parents to get married and have children certainly not willing, will not live a good life. Since it is an adult, do not want the support and assistance of parents (do not want parental support, is not at their mercy, arrangements, think what you want, once count on them, then there is no bottom). Instead, you can go to the big city to break into the big city, try, fulfill your dream of increasing social experience.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! At the age of 27, you don't seem to be getting the life you want or the things you want, you feel regretful and you start to think about your dreams, you feel that if only you hadn't listened to your parents, at least you would have had the social experience. The process of pursuing your dreams and working towards them is beautiful. What was your reason for changing your mind and following your parents' advice at that time? Was it the certainty of realizing that dream? Or were you deterred by the difficulties you might encounter in pursuing your dream? Knowing what you like and knowing how to achieve it and working hard for it is the whole process of chasing a dream (personal advice), but sometimes we equate liking with being able to achieve it. What if I could do what would change in my life so I wouldn't accomplish nothing? It's always nice to imagine, but maybe we also need to think about how much work goes into making a certain choice, and whether you're willing to stick with it and keep chasing your dreams even if it's notoriously unprofitable and doesn't make any difference or change? You are only 27 years old now, so if you want to follow your dream again, you can make a decision after careful consideration. You can look at the book \"Life is up to me\", the other person also encountered unsatisfactory things and marriages when she was young, but she re-followed her dream in her 40s, upgraded her education, did what she loved, and had the peak of her modeling career when she was in her 70s. The other guy didn't have a lot of good resources to begin with either, especially then after being divorced and taking the kids to a strange city to start over. Life does not set limits, take down those rules and regulations that bind you, of course, still need to be carefully considered, the road to follow your dreams will encounter heavy, and not that very hard will become different. Maybe you are reluctant, you think if you did not listen to your parents' advice, you will not become what you are now. By dwelling too much on the past, you may be wasting every precious moment. We can't change what has already happened, but we can stay in the present and make our own choices and efforts. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I remember that Su Dongpo's father was 27 years old before he started to study hard. He also had the achievement of having three bachelors in one family. From now on, what's the use of complaining about your parents? You'll only make excuses for yourself. In fact, you have nowhere to run, only reconcile with yourself. Only then can you. I'm 47 years old, and I'm what you call a nobody, a nobody, but I'm just as happy as I can be. My kids are older, and I'm just as happy to live a simple life without all the worries. I don't have to worry so much.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9245
       },
       {
        "question": "I've had depression for years, no self-confidence, self-doubt self-denial?",
        "description": "I went to the hospital in 2007 and got tested and diagnosed with depression, tried to leave the world then, then it didn't work. I think I've been mentally challenged since I was a kid, I was not good at reading, lost my confidence, didn't work hard to get ahead, and I didn't think I had a future. I was not good at socializing, I was bullied and looked down upon by others, I was very coy and timid, I was nervous, and I didn't dare to speak in class. I have a very poor self-evaluation, often self-doubt and self-denial, do not do a good job, I secretly curse myself. After the work is also very ups and downs, changed several points do not know what I am suitable for doing, for the future is very confused.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello, hug you ah ~ read your description, you were checked out earlier in the year depression, which is a psychological disease that makes people feel unbearable pain, imagine that you must feel helpless when you struggle with painful emotions and physical feelings, really sympathize with what you're going through it. According to your description, \"reading is not good, lost self-confidence, do not work hard not progressive, I also feel no future, socialization is not good\", mentioned their own childhood experience, I personally believe that there is indeed a disease affecting your normal learning and life may be, and learning and life encountered bumps in the road has also deepened your depression, slowly the situation The situation is getting worse and worse, and you can't tell what caused the pain you are facing now. Read your self-evaluation \"often self-doubt and self-denial, do not do well on the heart secretly scold themselves\", this is a negative emotion, often appear in our comparison with the people around us. Maybe you have misjudged your own ability in life, and think that you are not doing well enough, but maybe you can look at the problem from the perspective of your own progress and compare it with \"zero\", which is a kind of \"absolute progress\" perspective. Perhaps when you correctly estimate your ability and performance you will be able to evaluate yourself objectively.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2724
       },
       {
        "question": "What about a six-and-a-half-year-old girl who has been crying the last few days at school when she doesn't see her mom at noon?",
        "description": "Just started first grade, September mom has been and grandma pick up and drop off, at noon mom accompanied by nap, noon sleep pulling mom's hand, due to work, now can not go home at noon, to the child left her love to play the phone dubbing game, but the provisions of the end of the time, but does not work, the child is still crying, want to look for her mother, and even in the morning began to wipe the tears, said that the thought of noon can not see her mother, can not pull the hand of her mother, I want to cry, the",
        "keywords": "Growth, Developmental Laws, Child Development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject! Hugs to you! I sense from your statement that it's all a mom's worry. For six and a half years old daughter, go to school at noon, can not see her mother will cry, even if the child left the favorite cell phone dubbing game, the end of the specified time, but it is not the role of the child will still be crying to find her mother. First of all, as a mother, we should first find the reason why the child goes to school crying, there may be the following points: (1) can not adapt to the life of the first grade, because the promotion to the first grade is going to be a big gap with the kindergarten. The first grade pays more attention to learning, behavioral norms, as well as discipline, these and kindergarten life has changed; (2) whether the school and classmates get along well, just entered the first grade daughter, classmates have changed, whether it is because there is no children in the class can play together, then began to rely on her mother more? (3) It is also possible that this is what is known as separation anxiety, which is when a child who has lived with her family for a long period of time is unable to adapt to a sudden departure and begins to cry, not wanting to leave her family. In view of the above, I hope the following suggestions can help you: (1) You can ask the teacher about your child's recent situation at school, whether there is any discomfort at other times, plus your own observation to understand your daughter's situation. (2) When the child is going to school, parents should encourage the child to walk into the school full of anger, for example, before parting, gently embrace the child, and say to him, \"Go on, the children are waiting there for you to play together!\" When you go home and accompany your child to bed, you can ask her to tell you what she has experienced every day. (3) At night when she goes to bed, mothers can give their daughters company and tell her stories with meaning, so that she can understand from the stories that she has grown up, that her mother and father can't be with her all the time, and that she needs to grow up on her own. (4) As mothers, when we send our children to school, we can tell her when mom will pick you up, and we can occasionally take a little time to visit her at noon, but we must tell her in advance that you have to be strong and that mom will do what she says she will do, so that her child will be psychologically prepared in advance. As a mother, it's really hard, once again, give you a hug. I hope the above helps the subject in some way. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the subject: from the question, I can feel the mom's concern for the child and her anxiety of not being able to be with the child. When the child just started the first grade, the mother always accompanied the child to sleep at noon, but due to work, the mother could not go home at noon, and the child always cried and did not want to leave the mother in the face of the new environment. Whenever mom was not home at noon, the child wiped her tears and was very sad. Seeing such a situation, the mother is very distressed, but there is no way to come back to accompany the child, the anxiety adds a few more points. In first grade, the child leaves kindergarten and has just entered a new environment. Just like this mom: it is still very important to pay attention to the management of your child's emotions! It is important to make sure that your child adapts quickly to the learning environment as well as developing study habits so that he can adapt more quickly to elementary school. Your child's anxiety may have a lot to do with the new learning environment. So mom may want to spend more time with her child. In fact, the quality of time spent with your child is more important than the time spent with him. If the quality of companionship is not high, even if full-time at home, the child still face the parents cold face, I am afraid that the effect is not as good as a short period of time to accompany, high-quality coexistence is much better. When you get home in the evening, you can talk to your child more about school life. Talk about her daily academic life and her relationships with her classmates. See if there are any things that make him feel disturbed. Parents can advise her and unblock her emotions, so that they can become their child's confidant. When the child isn't bothered too much, she will focus more on the important things. Parents also need to relax and not let their anxiety affect their child. Emotions can sometimes be contagious, just like when you first separate from your child in kindergarten. Children are actually far better at dealing with emotions than parents remember. Many children cry and scream in front of their parents, but when the parents actually turn away, the child instead has a great time in kindergarten with their buddies, forgetting about the anxiety they felt when they were separated from their parents. So for this matter of anxiety, parents should not intentionally strengthen it first of all, look down, the child will be easier to adapt to the rhythm of life. In addition, for the cell phone thing also do not need to force to the child. In fact, there is data to prove that the length of time playing on the cell phone is directly proportional to the growth of anxiety, so use your cell phone with caution.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6976
       },
       {
        "question": "What to do about disagreements between men and women exploring relationship issues?",
        "description": "25M, 26F Incident: I had a bad day last night due to dealing with my girlfriend's mood (details in the last question), which probably took about 2 minutes to comfort her. The evening call communication problems. After: the evening mood calm, the phone told his girlfriend today to see me this low, unhappy, no spirit of the state, is not the same as you last night, what do you feel, heartache, want to see it again, girlfriend asked why unhappy, and I talk a fuse, slamming the door know not to pull out to speak, speak out on both sides are not beneficial. Blame me always first export axiom, girlfriend will be followed by a series of: why do not pull out to speak? How can I know if I don't talk about it? If you have a problem, don't think about yourself, and then say that you want me to change? Why should I agree? Inner feelings female: guess: I have my own character traits, you are also the best, slamming door genuinely love, it will be more and more grinding the better, the occurrence of small problems gradually can be ignored. Do not need to be too complicated, emotional life, later marriage, there are these are normal. Inner feelings male: people have to learn, to have an example, later life is to become better together, to reduce the lifetime of unhappiness, emotional, I lead by example to do patience, I hope that you have to correspond feel",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depression, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi: I just answered your last question, and I'm honored to be able to continue the conversation. at 25, it seems like there's still a little bit of youth left, and perhaps not properly appreciating the significance of my role. Perhaps the pressure seems to be too much, so did not deal with the emotions, and therefore can not digest the communication in the [not smooth problem]. Analyze and understand the problem: 1, last night because of dealing with girlfriend's small emotions (specific last question has details), probably is time-consuming about 2 hours to comfort his girlfriend, resulting in today's bad mood. The evening call communication problems. (If it is really because of spending so much time to comfort his girlfriend, resulting in a bad mood today, here are two aspects of the problem: 1) girlfriend usually character is too pretentious, your comfort is also to do; 2) nothing to do with the girlfriend, is that you can't understand why a woman is so immersed in this state can't get out of the way, resulting in you are upset, but still in the hard to comfort him.) 2, the evening mood calmed down, the phone to inform the girlfriend today to see you in this low, unhappy, spiritless state, is not the same as her last night, what are the feelings, heartbroken, want to see it again in the future, the girlfriend asked why unhappy, you and one more sentence of the fuse, slamming the door are aware of don't go to pull out to speak, speak out of the two sides are not beneficial. (Now with your words, I can not judge your peace is to which degree. But weakly feel a little [sour flavor], perhaps you are hoping to solve the problem, but you still show is [counting on the problem], sorry, excuse me.) 3, you feel blame you always first export axiom, girlfriend will be followed by a series of: why do not pull out to speak? Do not speak how will know? Problems will not think about their own, and to say that these are hoping that I change? Why do you have to agree and so on? (Boys ah, the focus here is that you want to talk to your girlfriend so much [to be concerned]? If it's not a matter of principle, who's right or wrong is that important? You want to live, or [reasoning], perhaps you did not find the role of Oh. Or maybe there is a little bit of [paranoia], sorry, I'm blunt again. (Special welcome, you discuss these issues with me, because I'm the one who likes to discuss, but maybe not everyone does right?) Straightforward question, \"How should I handle ambiguities about men and women exploring their feelings?\" ~~ Boy, hello I think what you are expressing is only part of the story, perhaps there are many, many small issues in life in sea oil. This stems from the root problem of each of us [character-wise], there is no right or wrong, just not enough to understand themselves or each other. If it's really clear enough, you can choose whether you want to speak this way or not, and what would be the benefits & disadvantages of speaking that way, right? ~~ Ambiguity? The ones who generally [chuck in their words] are probably not mature enough, as adults are less likely to express their thoughts in such a way. Maybe it's all young, and maybe bonding is a [process], but there's definitely skill in it if you're willing to learn. But take it for what it is. Conclusion: I wish you all the happiness in the world! Blessings to the lovers! If you're confused, private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, following the last question, three good see the subject also need to care, need to understand the side. At the same time, I can also feel that the subject of the last incident, the heart is still a little aggrieved, think they really did not do anything wrong, and consoled the girlfriend for two hours, the girlfriend should not be satisfied! In fact, as far as the three good seems to be concerned, this incident is really not very big, but the matter of pregnancy or not, in the mind of the girlfriend is more important, and the girlfriend may also be because of this incident to see how you treat her, as well as her in your heart of the importance of the degree. What is most likely to be recognized by others? \"Sincerity\"! Whether you are having fun or playing in life, the key point is that you must be able to feel each other's \"sincerity\"! Putting this matter aside, does SanShan think that the questioner has some Oedipus Complex (Oedipal Complex)? Does he or she want to be cared for and looked after by his or her girlfriend? Therefore, the subject should have a more objective understanding of himself: what is the subject's attitude towards love? What is his attitude towards his family? Of course, the subject should also have a certain understanding of these aspects of the girlfriend, three good think that only in this way, so that the two of you can go farther. Through the description, we can see that the subject and his girlfriend are treating life harder, these are very good. We have to know, our life will not be smooth sailing, in life will certainly encounter a variety of difficulties and pain, that in the experience, we summarize the experience, work together, we allow us to grow slowly, as long as we insist and work hard, we will certainly find happiness. As for the subject's concern about differences in personality, it is not too big a problem, because everyone's personality is not quite the same, but if they love each other, after constant trials and tribulations, mutual understanding, mutual support, will certainly live a good life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In the owner of the last problem said quite a lot, this one and continue it ~ \u25c6 have a problem, not a single person's problem, but the two sides together to bear.1. On personal experience, in general, the girl heart lumps are not solved is that this matter will not be turned over. In her heart, there will be the expectation that you should give her a what kind of answer. Usually, girls want boys to handle this matter clearly at that time. What words, what emotions, at that time to speak clearly. Instead, they will come back to talk about it again soon after. 2. Since you are angry and quarrel, it is the problem of both parties, not the problem of any one person. 3. If the owner of this time directly threw a bunch of reasoning, is particularly offensive. And for this thing, it should be two people have to reflect, rather than just let the girl to change. Because in this matter, the owner's reaction and attitude really have a problem. The problem is that you should speak up and communicate properly.1. Really, \"communication\" is a word that everyone knows, but no one really knows how to use it. Once, my boyfriend said to me: \"You think you are communicating with me, but in my opinion you are just arguing with a different mindset.\" Communication is on an equal footing and neither person mixes other emotions into it, especially the condescending, taken for granted feeling. It's really too annoying, and it doesn't do the relationship any good.2. To the owner, I'll tell you one of my own ways of getting along with my boyfriend. I usually get angry with him, all sorts of trivialities and small problems (this really can't be avoided, and there's no way to control my emotions all the time). However, we have made an agreement in advance, that is, more kisses and more hugs and more shamelessness. Everyone angry, after one person coaxed, not allowed to stay stiff. Later, I have coaxed him and he has coaxed me, and our fights basically don't take more than two hours to be completely resolved. Then, one can be at peace and do self-examination for what happened. Each person must say where they are wrong, where there is a problem; where the other person makes me uncomfortable, where it makes people angry ...... Saying that, the essential nature of many problems came out. At this time, the relationship between the two instead better, in my case and his, sometimes quarrels really is a relationship warming agent (not a big quarrel). \ua9c1 The above is just my personal experience, my two and the owner is about the same age, many aspects of the feeling should not be too different. If it is useful, you can try, this is really personally practiced \ua9c2 \u25c6 Finally, send a sentence to the owner: under the sky there is no real character suitable person, and even more do not fully meet their own requirements of the other half. The reason why a lot of couples are happy and long-lasting is because they consider each other, give in to each other and change, and slowly become better. The so-called \"seek common ground while reserving differences\", and then add tolerance and tolerance, with full of love, will be very happy and sweet. I think the owner and your girlfriend can! Will be very happy will be great, think for her, also communicate with her more, let her think for you. Bless you guys 9999!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, I saw your description of the conflict and ambiguity in emotional communication between yourself and your girlfriend. From your analysis, it is clear that you want to work with your girlfriend to maintain the relationship, and you want to be a role model so that your relationship can have more positive emotions, less unhappiness, and make life better. All of this shows that you are very responsible. In relationships, having disagreements and arguments are common and an opportunity to promote mutual understanding and communication. How do you go about resolving these ambiguities and conflicts so that your relationship can heat up? The first thing to understand is that there really is no right or wrong in a relationship, and you both don't need to be right or wrong. We've all heard the saying: don't reason in a relationship. This is because in relationships, people's thinking is often driven by emotion rather than reason. You seem to be expressing \"how to do this thing\", but in fact you are saying \"I desire you to take care of me a little more\", the latter is the real emotional appeal, is hidden under the rational description. Expressing \"I want to ......\" is better than expressing \"you should ......\" to let the other person know that it is not her \"fault\". \"It's not her fault\", it's something she can \"give\". When she asks why you are unhappy, you can also answer directly, for you, what makes you feel unhappy? What do you want her to do so that you can be happier? And whether or not she understands that she has to take care of her boyfriend's feelings is something she has to think about and weigh. The distinction here is important, and when it's clear, it allows both of you to stop being opposites and become one, one willing to fulfill and take care of each other. This way you are both presenting needs that can be faced together, rather than conflicting ambiguities. You can try it ~ good luck and sauce.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, understand your feelings. You are a responsible man with your own principles, thoughts and ways of doing things. Your girlfriend also has a lot of personality. But it can be seen that you are truly in love with each other, which is the source of happiness. It's just that both sides need time to get used to each other. Talk about who is right and who is wrong. As a boyfriend, tolerant, understanding girlfriend, in some issues can be reasoned, the truth. But in some emotional problems, may deal with it or to have some skills, must get a waterfall, who is right and who is wrong, will only make both sides will be very hurt. Women in love, often seeking security, repeatedly want each other to prove to themselves, some times even play a little temper, and do not be too calculating. Your principle, security, maturity, will let your girlfriend feel your emotions. But it is not necessary for both parties to get along or live according to one model. Different personalities together, can make both sides have a new feeling, which is also one of the secrets of love always fresh. More tolerance, understanding and support. If necessary, think differently, see me in the role of girlfriend, how I would think, how to do, this time you will understand a lot of the way to get along, and can be your advantage to promote the relationship smooth and long-lasting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading the information provided by the owner, I feel very confused, I do not know what the owner is expressing, more like an outsider \"third party\" in the narration of the \"war history\" between the two people, do not feel the owner of the heart of the girlfriend's feelings. Problems in the relationship between two people, it can be said that it is not the problem of one person, more is that both people have their own problems. Perhaps the owner does not realize that every time he faces his girlfriend to talk about reasoning to his girlfriend is the biggest \"harm\", in our lives can often see such a situation, some people always like to \"reason to convince people\", used to use reasoning to let Others yield to their own, accept their own \"control\" to meet their own inner emotional needs, and the owner of the face of his girlfriend is the use of such a way, that is, the equivalent is in the bondage of \"control\" girlfriend, so the \"Control\" so that she felt uncomfortable anxiety, she naturally will not be in accordance with the owner's expectations as to accept the owner's \"control\". The owner of this \"control\" can also reflect the owner's inner some lack of self-confidence and sense of security, especially in the face of his girlfriend, with these axioms to \"isolate\" the feelings of his girlfriend. Girlfriend's \"why don't you\" can see that she is very lack of understanding of the owner, which reflects the lack of reasonable and appropriate communication between the owner and his girlfriend, just like the girlfriend does not understand the owner of the same, the owner of the girlfriend is also a lack of sufficient understanding. Couples get along with communication should also be built on the basis of mutual respect and trust, understanding and acceptance of recognition, want each other to respect and trust understanding and acceptance of recognition of their own ideas and emotions and behavior, we must first respect and trust understanding and acceptance of recognition of their own and each other's ideas and emotions behavior. Like before with a female friend chatting process I told her some of my views and feelings, and then she said I was evaluating her, and then I said I did not evaluate you, just you think I am evaluating you, I just express some of my own views and feelings to communicate with you. By communicating with the other person through verbal language to express your inner thoughts and emotions, you will also allow the other person to focus on the message you are expressing. If you carry strong emotions to express with each other, the pressure brought by the emotions exceeds the pressure of the information expressed, the other party will focus on the emotional pressure, and ignore the information expressed, it is easy to produce unnecessary misunderstandings and contradictions. Therefore, the owner can try to adjust their own psychological state, so that their hearts relax, no longer repress these ideas and emotions within their hearts, with the girlfriend to express, and then listen to the girlfriend's thoughts and feelings, which is equivalent to the establishment of an emotional link between the two people, closer to the distance between the two people, but also relatively easy to communicate and understand the acceptance of communication and reduce unnecessary misunderstandings and contradictions, which can help the relationship And contradictions, can also help feelings stable and harmonious development.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010Let's talk about some feelings\u3011Hello, I see your words and feel your worry and anxiety, as well as frustration. Building a relationship between two people is truly a learning process. Let's take a look at your case together.\u3010First\u3011Different thoughts: \"Female inner feelings: Guess: I have my own personality traits, and so do you. We are the best for each other. Through thick and thin, the small problems that arise can gradually be overlooked. It doesn't have to be too complicated in a relationship or in a future marriage. All these ups and downs are normal. Male inner feelings: As people, we need to learn and have role models. In the future, our lives should improve together, reducing unhappiness and moodiness. I lead by example and hope you can correspond to these feelings.\" These two passages show your differences. The female perspective believes that individuals should have their own personalities and quirks. You can tolerate me, and I believe you can overlook my faults. This is just the way I am. The male perspective believes that people should grow and mature. I have already tolerated you, but it seems like you can't feel it. That's why you began lecturing.\u3010Second\u3011Father-daughter interaction: \"It's all my fault for always preaching first. Then my girlfriend responds with a series of questions: Why don't you open up and talk about it? How would I know if you don't tell me? Are you saying all this in the hope that I will change? Why do I need to conform?\" I want to ask why you lecture her. Do you trust your girlfriend? Do you see her as an adult rather than a child? Do you believe she is capable of fulfilling her responsibilities as an adult? When do we lecture someone? I don't think you are capable of doing this, or perhaps you don't truly believe that she can become the ideal person you envision. So, you want to change her. Treating her like a child to be educated and imposing your own beliefs and values onto her. There are no boundaries and no trust between you.\u3010Third\u3011The negative consequences of maintaining this manner of interaction: The more we treat each other like children and the less we believe in each other's potential for growth, the more she will exhibit childish behavior and resist personal development.\u3010Fourth\u3011Returning the responsibility of growth to the other person, changing the way we communicate: If your partner's behavior makes you uncomfortable, you need to clarify why you feel that way. Is it because her actions go against your preferences? Or does this situation have an impact on you? If it's about not liking her behavior, then you are labeling her actions and making negative judgments about her. However, this evaluation is only a personal label and holds no significance for her. So, no matter what you say, it's just your personal opinion, and she won't be able to take it in. If her actions have an impact on you, such as slamming the door making you feel scared, you can honestly express it. When you slammed the door, I felt scared, upset, hurt, and disrespected... Use your own feelings instead of lecturing.\u3010Fifth\u3011Respecting each other's limits and boundaries: After listening to the other person's words, whether they choose to change or have the ability to change is within their own boundaries and limitations. We should express understanding and respect. If you cannot accept it, please respect your own feelings and boundaries.\u3010Sixth\u3011Respecting each other's differences: When two different people are together, there will inevitably be some different opinions and perspectives. If we insist on transforming the other person into the image we desire, it will be meaningless and only lead to feelings of frustration.\u3010Seventh\u3011Appreciating each other's similarities: When we have been in a relationship with someone for a long time, it is easy to forget why we liked them in the first place. When we appreciate the other person's virtues, we are actually recognizing our own strengths. Talking about feelings is a breakthrough in the original Chinese way of life. Chinese people like to have their own insights, but expressing emotions and feelings like Westerners is not something that can be achieved overnight. Traditional Chinese personalities tend to be introverted and not good at expressing immediate feelings. Only through practice can this be improved. In interpersonal relationships, expressing emotions and vulnerability is more meaningful than expressing opinions and judging right or wrong. Best wishes to you, namaste!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It feels like the subject was blindsided by his girlfriend's question, right? When you are exploring a relationship issue that is ambiguous, and the conversation is overwhelmed by mutual negativity, and you feel that the communication is not going anywhere, then try to interrupt so that you both can take a break and resume the discussion. After the interruption, try compromising. Compromise is based on the foundation of accepting your spouse's influence, and in a healthy and happy intimate relationship, you can't keep insisting on getting your own way, no matter how right you feel you are, because that's just your own perspective and it's not fair to the other person. Compromise is not about giving up your point of view and insisting on it, it's about seeking common ground. Or switching your thinking to set the rules not to ask why, but how? After all, our brains are designed to solve problems, not create them. Asking what to do is looking for ways to solve the problems faced. One of the first things we need to understand about relationships between men and women is that there is a common difference between men and women all over the world: men are used to focusing on the problem itself, while women focus on the emotional expression and feelings. Generally speaking, women are more open to the influence of their other half, while men are more inclined to protect their power from being shared, which is helpful in the workplace, but a hindrance in the life of a lover. In an intimate relationship, the more carefully you listen to the other person and take her feelings into account, the more you can find a solution to some conflicting issues, and the solution is buried in understanding. If it's a problem that can be solved with a word, a hug, or a look, don't make a big deal out of fighting and getting angry. Questioner, are you right?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, based on your description and previous questions, I personally feel that there is a lack of communication in the \"language of love\" between you and your girlfriend. It is well-known that in order for people to communicate effectively, there must be a mutual understanding of the language. Otherwise, if you speak English and I speak Chinese, we would not be able to communicate at all. The same applies to relationships between boyfriends and girlfriends, as each person has their own \"love language\" that must be understood and shared in order to have a successful relationship. From your description, when your girlfriend \"suspected she was pregnant,\" you believed that joking and laughing with her was a way to show your love because you thought it would bring joy and happiness to her. In summary, \"joking and laughing\" is your \"love language\". However, your girlfriend sees it differently. She views pregnancy as a significant event in life that involves the possibility of marriage, starting a family, and major life changes. She is faced with various uncertainties, and in such moments, she hopes that you can \"understand\" and \"comfort\" her, as that is what she perceives as love. Your tendency to \"joke and laugh\" about this matter only makes her feel like you do not care about her and only prioritize your own enjoyment. In her perspective, \"care\" is her \"love language\". Therefore, learning how to bridge the gap in your \"love languages\" is a lesson the two of you need to undertake. Additionally, you mentioned that things that are obvious should not be brought up because it is not beneficial for either party. It is clear that you are more concerned about the outcome of bringing up certain topics. However, for women, during the process of communication, they often care more about the ability to \"communicate\" with you itself, rather than the benefits that may come after. This is because during the process of \"communicating\", their emotions are released and it serves as a means of emotional adjustment for them. This is also why women enjoy \"chatting\" so much. Therefore, it would be helpful for you to learn more about \"women's psychology\" when you have the opportunity.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, when I saw your question, it suddenly reminded me of a couple of friends I used to have. Both of them are very enterprising, both like to make a thing clear, so when the two people in order to communicate for something, talking about it will go to fight, just to understand a reason, often get upset, and even to the point of divorce. One day they argued again, the reason is that the woman because of some personnel relations within the unit is a little unhappy, said to the male to listen to the male, the male will tell her, you where to do wrong, you should how to do, axiomatic a pass, to the female angry ignore him. Two people cold war for a day, the man figured out, said to the woman, may say I'm not right, why must I reason with you? The psychological structure of men and women is not the same man, to give you a few small suggestions. First, home is not the place to reason. Women are emotional, men are rational. Many men especially like to reason, in fact, at home, is not a reasonable place, you just have to be tolerant enough, enough patience is enough, if you have to reason will only be the more reasoning is not clear. Second, listening is more important. Because women are more emotional, they encountered some problems outside, there will be a lot of feelings in the heart, back home to say to the closest people to listen. And men are more rational, he felt that my wife to come to me to listen, must want me to help her solve the problem, if I can't solve, then I'm not capable of, so do your best to help your wife to solve the problem. And men and women, the sensitivity of a problem feeling is not the same, so many men will think that the woman nagging, chicken skin is a matter of impatience; that man is impatient, the woman and aggrieved, think the man does not attach importance to her, many of the contradictions is so generated. Men should learn to bring more ears, less brain, you just listen to it. Third, more hugs, more say I love you. Women are extremely insecure, they like to be loved by the people they love to hold, like to listen to their loved ones say I love you, if you can hug every day, say a few words of I love you, the love of the body and mind will be greatly nourished, your life will be very happy. Remember Mr. Wang's words? I wish you happiness, and I believe you will be happy!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21276
       },
       {
        "question": "How do novice counselors recognize if a case is right for them?",
        "description": "In counseling, if a case is not suitable for you or is beyond your ability, you can choose to refer it or end the counseling. So how can a novice counselor identify whether a case is suitable for him or her? What are the criteria for judgment? Under what circumstances should counseling be terminated and under what circumstances should referrals be made?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you raise a very good question, in fact, not only new counselors, it can be said that this issue will be throughout the entire career of every practitioner, one of the most immediate response is to be aware of \"countertransference\", and then through the help of \"experiential teachers or supervisors\" to identify who this countertransference is more related to, specifically, \"whether it is from themselves or triggered by the visitor\" or \"both\". One of the most immediate responses is to become aware of countertransference through \"countertransference\" and then, with the help of an \"experiential practitioner or supervisor,\" to recognize who this countertransference is more related to, specifically, \"whether it is self-inflicted or triggered by the visitor,\" or \"a combination of the two. With awareness and the ability to recognize it, it is basically clear what to do next. These are some of my personal experiences, just for reference. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20726
       },
       {
        "question": "Been cheated on and broken up with for two months now and feeling in a worse state?",
        "description": "and boyfriend together for four and a half years was originally planned to the end of the year engagement at the end of May we are estranged less than 20 days time he cheated and proposed to break up after the breakup of my state has not been good state of mind adjustments do not come back and he was together for four years I gave up a lot of pay a lot of from the beginning of the family opposed to the last to let go to follow him to a lot of cities to run around the career is also recently started to get better just like he said himself: \"In fact, I'm quite sorry for you the most difficult time you have been with me now slowly began to get better but you lost\" now this end I seem to find it difficult to accept and reconciliation is no longer possible but I can not start a new life is not interested in anything every day is very sad every night is very sleepy but can not sleep the head is full of ideas even if I fall asleep are also dreaming I feel so tired my whole body is sore and weak I don't want to open my eyes in the morning to face the world sometimes I think it would be nice to just leave I'm so tired of living and giving it all up but in the end it's all a joke love is gone and so is my job.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner! Read your words, in addition to heartache you, but also very understandable, you are now this \"very sad\" state, in the eyes of our professionals, you have some physical and mental symptoms associated with the state of depression. In the past, I heard people say that it takes 120 days to get out of the state of lost love, maybe you still have enough time for three months, it is normal to have this state, time will slowly let you adjust. However, I feel that your heart seems to have suffered a serious injury, perhaps no one can see, but it hurts you so much! All your hard work, all your efforts, have gone down the drain, and you seem to have lost everything, not just that person, that love, that job, but it seems like your world has gone black. That person is very important to you, such a result became a joke of others, very hurt self-esteem, right! But will the pain diminish if you just run away? Can insomnia or slumber change reality? Some people say that people who like to sleep are very lonely, do you? Are you also a dull in their own world, no communication with others, only one person to bear? Everyone living is very tired, hard and bad people, not only you one. And you, how so determined, others will laugh at you? Maybe, if you tell them, everyone will give you a hug, not necessarily something to try. None of us are Sleeping Beauties, because we are all grown up and have to take on the storms in our respective lives. If, however, you feel that you can't handle it, or think that, everyone else is just standing around. Then, I suggest you: find someone close and trustworthy and let her walk you through this painful time. If not, find a dedicated person for counseling or call a hotline for advice. It's not your fault you got broken up with, don't attack yourself inwardly, voice your pain and despair, find a support system to accompany you, and then give it to time. If you walk in the darkness too much, you will see the light. If you finish sleeping at night, you will eventually wake up in the morning. Open your eyes to the world and remember that the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the owner a hug. Whether or not you can meet a good man, in addition to vision, there is indeed a question of luck. Think of it another way, cheating before marriage is always better handled than married husband cheating, and even better handled than children are born to find the child's father cheating. In the same way of thinking, wasting four and a half years is better than wasting six and a half years, and even better than wasting ten and a half years. So, there is nothing into a joke, this result, not good, but also not the worst, count in it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14878
       },
       {
        "question": "What about the annoying sister, the biased mom, the feeling of hurt?",
        "description": "I have a sister, she married badly, her husband is not good, the mother-in-law does not care, the child grows so big, do not give to bring up, and do not give money. Her in-laws can't do much to help her. My sister also gave birth to two sons in her family. The two of them were not in good terms and almost got divorced, but my sister couldn't. She said it was because of the children, but I felt that it was because of the children. She said it was because of the kids, but I think that was his excuse. He is very weak. When she sees her husband flirting with other women, she only dares to talk about it behind her back. The family lives with my mom. I gave her money when he had the baby. I also paid for the basement, and I also bought my nephew's milk powder and rice powder. It doesn't matter if I give her money, but I don't feel like she's grateful or appreciative. Sometimes when I go there, she just pulls a face, and she's not interested in me. I also have a family, I still have to work, and many times I have to work overtime, and it's not like my family doesn't have things and problems. I'm just used to reporting the good news and not the bad. He gave me to ask for sunglasses, I promised to give her, the company continuous overtime I can not go to call her in advance to say this thing, to her to take the past, my mom gave me complaints, smacked me to give her to take the late, and pull my cousin to my nephew to buy shoes to take them to dinner. I feel very hurt. It happens every time and I feel like mom is biased.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Family Relationships, Character Disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description of some of your aggression in dealing with your family, first of all, first of all, give you a big hug, I hope to be able to give you some warmth and support in the big family, often encountered at such a time. From my perspective as an outsider, you and your sister are really siblings, just as kind, just as stoic and considerate of others, the difference is that you are paying for your sister, and your sister is paying for her in-laws! Like you said, even though my sister's in-laws rarely take care of her, she still gives willingly, while lacking the same attitude towards her own family. You, on the other hand, even though your sister has been taking from you without giving back, you still care about her and help her, regardless of your own emotions which are getting more and more repressed. The above are my personal views, not necessarily correct, to provide you, do a reference. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 52,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 52,
            "end": 136,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 136,
            "end": 232,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 232,
            "end": 259,
            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 259,
            "end": 263,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I've seen how much you've given, and how much you value your family. It's also the occasional whiny comment, which means it's still hard to do whatever you want. Right? It's really hard to measure this affection by one standard. Your family's current situation is because your sister is not doing well, so you don't know how to be thankful, but those who don't know how to be thankful are also not doing well, which is normal. Mother bias, is the heart of the weak, this is very obvious, the mother still know your ability. In fact, the elderly, I think the family has a similar thing. My family is similar, my sisters are thinking that daughters should not be old age, think it is all the son's business, the old mother is also this concept. Especially between them, it's also like what you said, but the old man can also resent the poor and the rich. Who gives more she says who is good, really unfair things are also a lot of things, but as children, we live our own lives and do our part to our loved ones, or can. You're pretty good now, bless you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7808
       },
       {
        "question": "I was just playing a game and got yelled at by someone, I'm not feeling well, so I'm looking for enlightenment?",
        "description": "I was playing a game just now because I didn't work well with my teammates he called me stupid I hate it when people call me stupid and I don't feel like I was responsible for that either he could have walked away but why did he have to be there to engage with the enemy and cause the other team to kill him I feel like most of it wasn't my fault because if he had just walked away I would have been able to kill him as well, but he had to make a wave and then he came back and blamed me for being stupid which I hate it when people say I'm stupid he seems to have been playing this game for a long time and has a good rank but he feels a little high and mighty and puffed up I feel like I didn't do anything wrong but I feel very uncomfortable being blamed and insulted by him please enlighten me!",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal,Communication,Conflict,Social Software",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The questioner hello ah! @ often play games you should also be clear, in the process of playing games, due to the need to use brain power and teamwork, coupled with exciting scenes, people are very easy to impulse. That is to say, there are often cases of yelling and abusing each other in the game. Perhaps the subject is one of these, there is no criticism here. Playing the game is actually also a competitive sport, with soccer and basketball, the field when the person is fully committed, if the victory is right in front of you, but because of various reasons, especially operating errors and lost, it is extremely easy to get angry, so that the mouth spit fragrance. @If the subject just wants to come out of his aggression and indignation, then it might be a good idea to go in two directions. One is to think differently, i.e., you also exist in a situation where you have chastised your right friend in this way. Yes, you were probably wronged, and you had the strength to win. But everyone thinks they are special, and perhaps from the other person's point of view there is a bias. Whether the other person is shrugging it off or misunderstanding it, your aggression comes from not being firm enough on your own and instead needing outside recognition to feel at ease. Secondly, since this teammate does not get along with your aura, why don't you re-match in a different region? Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, counselor. ---------- ------- I was scolded in the game, and I felt uncomfortable. There is a premise in this case: you think that his evaluation of you is \"objective\" and well thought out. Is that really the case? In such a short period of time, people are rarely able to quickly synthesize your performance to give you an evaluation. At the same time, you have to understand that people get evaluations for self-improvement and real-world benefits, which this person can't give you, so in fact he's simply making a personal attack! So the question is, why did he do it? What do you play games for? Cool ah, play the game is to figure a happy, in addition to the professional tournament players, other people we are figure happy, cool, only to play, he thought not brain scolding is able to vent, able to achieve the purpose it. ---------- ------ My suggestion is: (1) do not forget the original intention, we play the game is to have fun, and ran into such a \"garbage man \"to vent, in-depth understanding of his purpose, is to vent, then we ignore him on the good. (2) if necessary, you can call on the team to report him, every time he went to play were reported, he slowly can not rank Oh, so also for their own behavior to pay the bill. ---------- ------ Above, I wish you a happy game and a happy life, cheers!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your account, you should think about how to stay away from this kind of people who are prone to blame others. Let's guess, it's a game of chicken. It's not a big deal if you make some mistakes in the game or if your teammates don't help you in time, etc. It's a normal thing. This is a normal thing, no one can do, in the game 100% no problem, even I have seen those anchor god in the video, they also have mistakes, there are also not in place. But everyone is inclusive and knows that it's just a game, he feels that the game is important, so let him play alone, he feels that playing with a number of people is more important than the game itself, then these people can be teamed up, they can be teammates. Not all people can be teammates.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3199
       },
       {
        "question": "I always feel like I'm going to swap bodies with someone else, and the thought of it gives me a headache that I can't control?",
        "description": "I feel like I'm going to swap bodies with someone else every day so when I see someone I say in my mind don't swap with her or something I watch live streams and watch videos and comment that I don't want to swap with her or something I'm afraid that if I say the wrong thing one day I'm going to swap bodies with someone else I feel like I'm going to swap bodies with someone else all the time what to do when I think about it it gives me a headache I don't have any control over it!",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Therapeutic Approaches, Counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah, often in the [feeling will be exchanged with others in the idea of the body] owners must be very distressed. Here to give the owner a warm hug, I hope my answer can bring you comfort and help you ~ \ufe0f 1, analyze the source of the problem, why will there be [and other people to exchange body] ideas? Has the owner been subjected to any inducing factors, or experienced anything, to begin to have this kind of will and other people will exchange the body of the idea? The owner might want to try to think back to the first time you had this thought, what was the reason for it? After having this thought, what did you experience that made you feel scared and anxious about it? \ufe0f2, try to solve the problem The owner can make the following attempts according to the above questions: 1, think back to the past that you can experience, or passive experience (such as in watching a drama, a TV series of a certain character body exchange) experience. 2, according to the existing clinical and scientific evidence, we are limited to the body exchange for organ transplants and other transformations, and organ transplants have a sound legal system. Therefore, the owner will not have any conversion with another person involuntarily. So the owner's concern is unnecessary. The owner needs to realize this in order to go back to the past and say to the self that was once afraid of experiencing [body exchange]: Don't be afraid! 3. Don't over-suppress your inner thoughts When the owner can't control his or her own thoughts and can't stop the idea of exchanging his or her body with another person, it's good to try to think about the possibilities of exchanging, and the consequences of exchanging. Perhaps, after deep thinking, you will find that even if you exchange bodies with others, your thoughts are still dominated by you, you can still live into the shape you want, then what can be afraid of? After the fearlessness, you will slowly let go. 4, seek help if the owner of the long-term plague, can not be resolved, you can try to talk to their loved ones and friends, seeking their comfort, to establish their own psychological support system, so that their hearts are strong, to resist these unpleasant thoughts and experiences. The owner can also seek professional help, try to do some psychological counseling, they will help you get out of the psychological barrier faster and better, and gain freedom of thought. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, see word for word. The subject always feels that he/she will exchange bodies with another person and believes that this situation may become a means of punishment, so the subject feels scared and gets a headache when he/she thinks about it. Current technology does not allow for body swapping. First of all, please reassure the subject that there is no way that current technology can do the job of putting one person's soul into another person's body. So the subject won't be able to swap with anyone you meet, and they don't have the ability to forcibly swap bodies with you. To alleviate the fear, you need to find the cause. The subject can seriously think about when he or she started to have this fear of exchanging bodies with other people, and recall what happened at that time. For example, the subject watched a certain movie, novels in the horror plot may have subconsciously influenced us, that such exchange of body is there, out of their control. Some people may feel scared at the time and gradually recover after leaving that atmosphere, while others may just leave a shadow in their mind. Identifying the triggers, and addressing and denying them, should ease the situation. If it is difficult to let go, you can seek help. If the subject is still unable to solve the problem, why not try to talk to friends and relatives, or find professional psychological counseling teachers, counselors and other people's help. To face, in fact, the problem has been half solved. I hope my thoughts can be useful to the subject Oh ~ a hope to gentle the world, but also to give themselves the time to grow wantonly small mushrooms.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ah ~ can feel your distress, always worried about and other people will be exchanged for the body, every time you see a person in the heart will think of this thing, but also can not control themselves not to think, so feel very anxious. I can understand your feelings, everyone will have some worry and fear of things, we have to do is how to overcome the inner fear, not to be dominated by the idea. ---------- ------- The main problem of the owner is the fear of exchanging bodies, although at present there is no previous case of body exchange happening in human society , but the owner is still filled with worry inside. As this matter is always on his mind, he gets a headache when he thinks about it, then he needs to make adjustments and changes by himself. Some suggestions] Change your mindset and look at this matter rationally The owner said that she always thought that she would exchange her body with others, so what is the basis for the owner to think so, is it because she saw the storyline in the TV drama, or because she read some related books, or other reasons. Since the owner is very afraid of body-swapping, she needs to analyze the science and possibility of this event, change her mindset, and look at this matter with rational thinking. Recognize what you are really afraid of why the owner is so afraid of exchanging bodies with others, what is the root cause of the fear, only to find the problem can be better solved. Everyone will have something to be afraid of, this thing reflects our heart, the owner is afraid of exchanging the body, to live a life that you do not like, or afraid of losing the current life. Find out what you are really afraid of and then make an effort in the moment to live the life in front of you. Instead of being anxious about things that haven't happened yet, cherish every day now and don't leave regrets in your life. More communication with others, from their own thinking out of some time, our mind will suddenly come up with an idea, and then their own continuous processing extension, originally a very common thing, will be due to the limitations of our thinking, we will take us into an inappropriate direction, so that they fall into endless tangled and anxiety. More communication with others, the same thing different people have different views, understand what others think, and then go to the thing itself to analyze. Often, we will get stuck in a thinking rut at some point in time, and then get deeper and deeper into it, needing a bystander to help us get out. Anyway, the most important thing is to live a good life at the moment, don't worry too much about something that hasn't happened yet, do what you like, make new friends, learn some skills, keep yourself busy, add happiness to your life, make yourself feel fulfilled, so that your mind can be temporarily relaxed. Wish the owner can get rid of the trouble soon~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Lou Lou, hello ah \ufe0f, \ufe0f first of all let's analyze the nature of the problem, that is, Lou Lou is afraid of swapping bodies with other people to happen. You can dig a little deeper Lou Lou is afraid of saying the wrong thing, and then lead to swap bodies with others, \ufe0f but why say the wrong thing will be exchanged for the body? This Lou Lou can also ask himself a few more why? To find the heart of the biggest problem in the end where. \ufe0f Secondly, let's take a look at how to deal with 1. calm mind Lou Lou don't worry, the probability of this kind of thing is almost zero, in this medical level is still difficult to reach the level of Lou Lou imagined, so Lou Lou first of all to calm mind, this kind of problem won't happen Oh 2. don't be afraid to make a mistake Lou Lou is afraid of that day to say the wrong thing, leading to the problem of their own fear occurs. No one is perfect, we are not saints, who will make mistakes, so make a mistake is not terrible, make a mistake to change on the good, or Murphy's Law may happen Oh, the more afraid of the more things will happen.3. Improve the skills of the floor of the building afraid to make a mistake, it may be that their own skills are not high enough, it may be that they are not good at socializing, it may be their own poor speech, these can be resolved, you can enroll in a class to learn the skills of the speech to improve the elocution! These can be solved, yo. 4. improve self-confidence floor must have confidence in themselves, no matter what they do or what they decide to do, to believe that they are the best, but also able to do the best. You are the best. Go for it! \ufe0f I hope my answer can give you help \ufe0f may Ann Lou Lou solve the problem soon may Ann well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello \ufe0f subject, I see your excessive anxiety and fear about swapping bodies. All people have the desire to switch identities to varying degrees, especially in childhood, seeing Superman Man of Steel do everything, children will imitate their idols and do actions and words to visualize themselves in their mind's eye. Little girls play house as moms, teachers, doctors, and Snow White often switch identities freely. Adults are also, only the pressure and rhythm of life so that they are not aware of their own such behavior, under self-restraint with a mask to behave not as children so arbitrary, pressed in the inner drama, such as the sex partner imagined as the goddess of the heart of the male god, imagine themselves as millionaires and so on. Sometimes the identity of the imagination as long as it does not affect daily life, social activities, the appropriate exchange of identity helps to relieve stress, helps to improve their own internal drive subjective initiative to make themselves better, if there is excessive distress, to strengthen the practice is able to do without affecting the work life.  1 \u20e3 \ufe0f to strengthen the physical exercise, the relaxation of the muscles strong and helps the thoughts of the tension and relaxation.  2 \u20e3 \ufe0f to do more positive meditation, which is the mind calisthenics, long-term do help the construction of a healthy mind.  3 \u20e3\ufe0f divert attention, find their own hobbies and interests, reading, chess, fishing, or even the development of a skill.  4 \u20e3\ufe0f confided in, to the parents, relatives, friends, colleagues or strangers, do not necessarily find their understanding or help, but when the expression of it, naturally a lot of relaxation, is not recommended to confide in one or two people, the other party will be disturbed by the interference or attack and counter-attack , unless looking for a psychologist professional accompaniment, will guide and encourage. Or record it to write it down is also a good way to detoxify.  5\u20e3\ufe0f Accept yourself, your internal and external cognitive behavior is still harmonious and unified, do not harm others do not harm their own standards on it. Please follow me by tapping the little plus sign below! Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If we could exchange bodies so easily, perhaps the world would have been in chaos long ago.1. Our worries are sometimes really unnecessary. Often we wish we could have supernormal capabilities, such as being able to read people's minds, knowing what others are thinking, or having any other special skills, etc. In recent years, some movies and skits have indeed featured this. In the last few years, some movies and sketches do have this theme, but we will find one thing: all the exchanges are only possible in extremely special circumstances, and it is very difficult to replicate them again. And those so-called coincidence we carefully speculate will find that many things are not as real as it seems, such as accidentally struck by lightning or electric shock, these are very easy to injure the life, just some things want to look more reasonable, so need to be proved by some not so reasonable action. Therefore, our worries are really a bit excessive. If the technology of exchange can really be realized, will there be people in the world who will live forever?2. Be a better version of yourself. As the questioner himself said, we ourselves don't want to exchange with others even if it's bad, in fact, it's the same for other people, so we can give ourselves a little more time to digest it. For example, when did our own concerns and worries start, or what event caused them, and then we can make an analysis based on the actual situation, some seemingly reasonable things do not stand up to scrutiny. Of course the best way for us to live is to know ourselves clearly, adjust our mind and become a better version of ourselves oh. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your account, what I can't understand is do you think it's a simple thing to swap bodies with one of you? If it is possible to initiate such a magical thing in you, then you must be the richest person in the world. Because there are a lot of people who are down to have this kind of magical thing happen to them, especially those who are on the verge of death. I have thought about death for a while, and that is because if the brain is very healthy and the body is not working, if I change into someone else's body is that my whole person is still not myself? It became a philosophical question instead. So next time, if you would like to reply, you can tell me, if this body can be interchanged, do you think it can be interchanged under such circumstances? At least there is no such technology in the world so far, and don't tell me that blowing on a breath or using some magic can do what you have in mind. The answer is no.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12468
       },
       {
        "question": "Why are others jealous of me when it has nothing to do with me?",
        "description": "Someone close to me earlier said that it's especially hard when one person bucks everyone around them. I then began to be anxious. I was afraid to do a lot of things that I wanted to do but was worried that it would easily cause others to be jealous. I was reassured by others that jealousy is someone else's business and has nothing to do with me. But I do things that make others jealous, others are the ones who are jealous of me, and it's not just one person who is jealous, it's most of the people around me, so why isn't the problem with me, and it has nothing to do with me?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~ From the subject's description. I understand that the subject is torn between facing something successful for herself and making others jealous. Therefore I wish to share with the subject some of my views on this matter First of all. For our own reversal of things, it does not have much to do with others: because we are by virtue of their own efforts to achieve their own goals, rather than using the resources of those who are jealous of us, even if there is a lucky component in that is part of their own and has nothing to do with others ah In addition, we may wish to think about why other people will be jealous: it is because they do not have what we have, and yet [we can not control what other people want to have], we can not control what other people want to have, so we can not think about why others will be jealous. However, [we do not control what other people want to have], because it is their choice and has nothing to do with us, so we are not the cause of their jealousy, the real reason is the result of their choices More importantly, we do not need, nor are we obligated to pay for the negative emotions of others. Whether they produce blessings, jealousy, the consequences that arise are also the responsibility of others.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 10,
            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 10,
            "end": 38,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 38,
            "end": 64,
            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 64,
            "end": 156,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 156,
            "end": 256,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 256,
            "end": 288,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 288,
            "end": 318,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9256
       },
       {
        "question": "20 Female, read some novels so far over winter break, how do I determine my sexual orientation?",
        "description": "I female, 20 years old, winter vacation to now read a lot of yuri novels, have not seen before, feel open the door to a new world, want to know to see these will affect the sexual orientation, I am now a little self-doubt, feel also can accept the love of the two girls, but before there was a favorite boy, but together not long ago because of some external factors divided, but also limited to the embrace, and at that time there is a really heartfelt feeling, also Very like him, but recently began to consider the issue of sexual orientation, real life, prefer to play with girls, play the game match also prefer to play with girls, especially the voice of a good girl, good-looking girls will give me a good impression, I also chased the star, is a male star, but since the breakup a few years ago to now did not meet any favorite person. Don't even feel interested.",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Sexual Orientation,Dependent Attachment,Good Feelings",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I think it means you have an open mind, first of all, if it is not interested in the person, also will not go to see the yuri or BL type of novels as well as film and television, it shows that you are not rejected, but not rejected does not mean it is. Sexual orientation is not good or bad right or wrong, or according to the feeling to go, feelings is a natural instinctive reaction, do not because of the rush to confirm the sexual orientation on the blind attempt, reading novels may make you some fantasy, but the real love life or to your own self to recognize the self and make a decision, an open mind is also a way of exploring the self, do not need to be too disturbed, follow the heart is good. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, this question reminds me of an answer in the morning, which you can follow, and then let's take a look on your expression. First of all, the initial reason for falling in love is because of the adrenal hormone secretion during puberty leads to the impulse of the brain consciousness as well as the concrete behavior of the fantasy scenario things in their own consciousness. Simply put, it is a small cognitive fully absorbed the curiosity and longing for love information, in the subconscious formation of a kind of self-hypnosis, combined with the most primitive instincts, will make you interested in the opposite sex. Secondly, assuming that you never have a very clear perception of sexual orientation or impulse, long-term and the opposite sex to intuitive friendships, will affect your subconscious on the gender of hobbies to produce a certain bias, people with the class to gather things in groups. The preconceived sense of \"fellowship\" with the same sex will make you want to be in contact with the same sex, while your mother nature tells you that because most of the physical conditions are the same, and there are no male impulses for most things or other reasons that make you think that the conditions of brotherhood with the boys are proof that you are stronger than the females around you, the mother nature will be played on them, and you will get a lot of benefits from them. play is going to be largely effective in them. \u25a0 In the end, homosexuality is not so much a problem; you should learn to be more of a person who allows herself to be heartfelt with people she is interested in without missing a clear delineation between friendship and love. Someday, there is a very, very like you, pursuing you, even if you may not originally like him, but the process of his pursuit of you, you will find that in fact, boys are not so boring, the important thing is to let go of the heart to feel, although it may be hurt will hurt, but the pain proves that you will still like boys. \u25cf more feeling, your expectation of love adolescent sprouting, that do not now go out to meet new friends, the most important influence on your mood of the books, the network sources cut off. There will be a certain attraction to a female friend before, but that is not a relationship that is above the boundaries of friendship. You should not scare yourself or if you are really worried and scared you should go to a specialized hospital and adjust yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the subject, feeling the confusion. As a girl who also likes to read same-sex romance novels, let me talk about my opinion. Nowadays, the society is becoming more and more open, and the love between the same sex is more and more accepted by people, which represents that people's thoughts are changing accordingly with the society. I also thought that homosexuality is very strange and can't be understood before, but when I really understood the circle, I found that there is no difference between their love and the love between men and women. The people we usually hang out with are often of the same sex because they bring us consistency and feel like we are the same, and I don't think it has much to do with sexual orientation. Sexual orientation isn't good or bad or right or wrong, and I can see from the subject's description that you're open-minded. Not feeling in love at the moment could just be because you haven't met the right person yet, don't worry about it and let everything take its course.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Pretty girls are liked by anyone, I like them too, I'm a girl too, I like valiant girls. But to say doubt sexual orientation that's a bit much, sexual orientation is not something that can be changed by a few yuri novels. You can say that there is no one you like now, but it is not strict to say that you can accept the love of two girls. You are advised that it is better not to try either, once you try it is harmful to anyone! Love is not something to try .......",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20069
       },
       {
        "question": "24 years old, feeling like I've graduated, like I don't know anything and my future is lost?",
        "description": "I'm 24 years old this year, and I feel like my future is lost and I don't know what to do in the future. I feel like I've graduated and I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Growth, work-study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner ah ~ can feel your confusion, in fact, this state is very normal, many people will have, after graduation out of the campus environment, feel as if what they have learned can not help in the community, and do not know what they can do. From childhood to adulthood, we have been taught to study hard, so our goal during this time is clear, to get into a good middle school and high school, and to get into a good university. But when the time of study is over and we have to prepare to start a new journey, we start to become confused and cannot see our future. Life is a process of constantly trying to get to know oneself. First of all, you need to find out where your interests lie, think clearly about what you want to do, and then bravely try to find a job that suits you. Of course, it is also necessary to analyze your own strengths and weaknesses, what you can do in a certain field, what is still lacking, and give full play to your strengths. Keep learning and improve your ability. Graduation is only the end of a journey, but learning is a lifelong insistence, only to continue to learn, so that they can make progress, in order to have a place in the highly competitive society. I wish the owner to get rid of the confusion as soon as possible, to pursue their own life~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4854
       },
       {
        "question": "I met a person of the opposite sex online with a very good personality, and I'm torn about whether online dating is reliable.",
        "description": "I met a person of the opposite sex online in March. She has a very good personality and is now a senior in college, preparing for graduate school. Despite the fact that the other person is under a lot of pressure to study, she will share her life with me every day. She will tell me about her study progress, and she will also monitor each other's study with me. Every day will send me good morning and good night. From March to now, we haven't stopped chatting, we chat every day. I seem to have a good feeling about each other, but I don't dare to confess. I don't know what kind of person I am in the eyes of the other person, but it's still quite disturbing.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Friends, Interpersonal Boundaries, Social Software",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! It's nice to have a friend who encourages and supports each other, who encourages each other to learn, and who feels relaxed and happy. With such a pleasant time together, good feelings and joyful hearts grow easily, and it's natural to want to get closer and get along with each other. The title of the article is: Are you worried about whether or not the Internet is reliable? My response is: whether it's the Internet or real life, there are reliable and unreliable relationships, the key is whether we find the right person. As for confession, it depends on how the subject defines and understands confession. My understanding of confession is that it is an expression of emotion, telling the other person how I feel, and an expression of my expectation that I want to develop a closer relationship with them. Overall, it is to tell the other person that I want to be with you. As for how the other person hears it, what kind of feedback, that is another matter. After all, we have the right to express and others have the right to choose. But no matter what other people's choices are, it doesn't mean I'm not good enough. Those who love you, no matter how you are, those who do not love you, do not care how you are. The other side of the eyes of you, perhaps can be revealed in your usual communication process. No more, ask TA, do not know.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3657
       },
       {
        "question": "People who are selfish and don't know how to put themselves in their own shoes, do they need to be treated well?",
        "description": "In the dormitory, she is afraid of heat, I am afraid of cold! I usually consider more for her, thinking that you are afraid of heat that more blowing a fan, air conditioning, and then turn off before going to bed at night on the line, this is my bottom line, not off before going to bed for fear of catching a cold, and then before going to bed she did not want to turn it off, so that I slept inside the bed to sleep and blowing, I said that I think about this for her during the day I'm cold it's okay, I accept that this night also do not want to turn it off, and also have to inch into the inside to let me sleep a little bit, does not she know how to I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do. Why so selfish, may feel that others do this is a matter of course, will not put heart to heart, do not know how to be grateful ... such people still need to be treated well?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Conflict, Housemates and Classmates",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation! This student, knows exactly how you feel. You are doing a good enough job of taking care of her needs! It seems like she appreciates it too, but doesn't feel like she's taking care of your needs. Fundamentally, there is no one right or wrong here. If you have to be reasonable, in your mind you did everything right, and in her mind she did nothing wrong. Your reasoning is hard to get through to her, and it's not easy for her to convince you! The problem still lies in miscommunication, and communication, in addition to proving who is more reasonable, is more important to take into account each other's feelings and deal with the problem! I believe your fear of the cold is real, and you may have blown a cold once, so you are worried. And her fear of heat is real too. And fear of cold and fear of heat, in addition to different personal constitution, I guess there are heart factors in it, for example, you once blew a cold, and she had a heat rash. Anyway, it's a pair of contradictions in your case. Anyway, in my opinion, your conflict is just a miscommunication, no character involved, no need to think things so complicated. In a gentle atmosphere, say that you really can't have the air conditioning for too long, lay out the reasons for it to her, and ask her the reasons why she has to have it too. Then each of you can compromise and back off, and find a mutually satisfactory solution that meets each other's needs without damaging the relationship. For example, turn off the air conditioner at regular intervals, make a schedule for switching on and off the air conditioner, turn up the temperature a bit, tell her about the dangers of blowing the air conditioner for too long, and so on. As long as we approach it with a problem-solving mindset instead of getting confrontational, things can always work out a satisfactory solution, don't you think? I also understand that you compromise more and think she should make compromises too. And she probably thought your needs weren't as strong and didn't care too much. So, it's still words to figure out what we really need and then express it clearly and unambiguously so that we can find the perfect solution! Remember, what we want is sometimes just a strategy, not the end goal, to achieve our goals, but also from the perspective of the common good, to find the appropriate way to end! I'm sure you don't have to turn off the air conditioning and she doesn't have to turn it on. Even if this contradiction is really difficult to reconcile, after all, you are still classmates is not it, you can make each other more harmonious relationship to see this problem is not it, the interests of this is always the same right! That's all, I wish you cherish each other, more pleasant mood!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20709
       },
       {
        "question": "What if you have no friends, your family doesn't care, your coworkers don't get along, and you feel isolated?",
        "description": "I don't have any friends, my family doesn't care, I don't get along with my colleagues at work, I feel that I'm too tired, I'm a little bit anxious, I'm just anxious, I don't have anyone to talk to, I don't have anyone to help me with advice, I don't know if what I'm doing is right or not, I feel that I am a little bit careful, I don't know how to do it anymore?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Friends, Colleagues, Social Adjustment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I hope my words can help you. According to your description, I summarize one thing: \"No friends, relatives don't care about you, you don't get along with your colleagues, and the pressure of life makes you exhausted, so you are a bit broken\". I have a few comments here:First, it's time for you to decompress. Whether it is from the spirit or body, the pressure has been about to crush you, you are either sports or, eat or, take two days off to go out to take a break or, a variety of ways to decompression to choose from, only the pressure can not afford to discharge out in a timely manner, in order to live better. Secondly, have you tried to find the reason why you can't get along with your colleagues? If a colleague can't get along with you, it's that colleague's problem; if all the colleagues can't get along with you, it means you should think about whether it's your own reason. After you find it, please try to change, maybe you will harvest unexpected surprises. Third, talk to your family. As the saying goes, there is no overnight grudge between children and their parents, what is the reason for such indifference? In any case, you can have a good talk with them, maybe there are some misunderstandings between you, only talk to know. Fourth, friends in the fine, not in the more. There is no need to force when there is no, should sometimes naturally come, now can only say that fate is not yet arrived, friends will have. I hope my advice can help you, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Seeing your question, I analyze it from the following, I hope it will help you! Really have no friends? Understand yourself is not willing to make friends, or will not go to make friends, people's lives, through how many stages of learning, I believe that the process can definitely meet students can talk to, but they feel no friends, then the problem comes, indicating a lack of communication with others, the need to recognize their own, the family does not care? Is it really their parents do not care? I believe that every parent to raise children want to have a close and friendly relationship with their children, can be in the process of children grow up in the education process, often a lot of time, because of various things, drift apart, so may feel like growing up, parents do not care about it, there is a sense of loneliness! It also shows that the relationship with parents in general, the lack of positive communication. Coworkers don't get along? Towards society, the face of work, we all want to become the best in the work, and colleagues to get along well, but just say no how to practice, and colleagues have contradictions, showing that get along with each have seen, do not know how to concessions and balance, followed by the emergence of coworker relations tensions relative. The above uneasiness, tension, all from the inner self, this time to learn to communicate with the way to get along, learn to face the shortcomings frankly, improve the ability to improve communication, proactive solution to the problem. I believe that action, you can make yourself confident, worry and anxiety will dissipate with the confident body.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13620
       },
       {
        "question": "Material and spiritual abundance, but always unhappy?",
        "description": "My current life, with its material and spiritual abundance, seems to lack passion and excitement and freshness, making me feel like the walking dead. I am tired of traveling and outdoor sports. I can't find anything to do, life has reached its peak and it's going downhill.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, this trouble at the top of your life is really rare. There are bound to be ebbs and flows in life, although we always hope that our life will always be full and interesting, full of passion, but sometimes emptiness and boredom will always want to rise up suddenly like a tide, maybe because you have just accomplished your goal and haven't found a new one yet; maybe you are physically and mentally exhausted and suddenly lose your motivation; or maybe your expectation for the future is so high that ordinary experiences can't satisfy you any more. But no matter what, it is only temporary, the world's endless splendor is waiting for you to discover, just like you like outdoor travel before, is not it enjoying discovering the vastness and splendor of nature? The next will also have a brand new experience waiting for you, and then harvest new goals before you can do a good job of resting, or take advantage of this short moment to observe the people and things that you usually overlooked, perhaps, the next section of the wonderful is in it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, hello ~ ~ ~ ~ when feeling life is not lacking anything, only the lack of passion and freshness, perhaps from the small things around you to find freshness. Material and spiritual life is abundant, traveling outdoor sports are also tired, when you can not find happy things to do, perhaps because you can have all have, you want to have all also have. Most people will feel that the kind of challenging, for example, is the outdoor sports kind of activities more passionate and exciting, when the exciting things to experience after the end, may feel that there is no fresh sense of excitement. At this time, you may be able to find from the small things around you, for example, raise some flowers and plants or small pets, to increase the sense of freshness, with a responsible attitude towards life, time may be raised as a habit of flowers and plants and pets, but also in the process of raising the continuous discovery of new things or new rules, which may make you more and more interested in the process, so that you will not feel that there is no happy thing to do. Or maybe it is to find an ideal job, or have the ability to start your own business, you can assess the market to see if you can open up a relatively rare industry, the work is very challenging, in the process may also find a sense of fresh excitement. I hope this has been helpful. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14936
       },
       {
        "question": "Why aren't kids sweet when they get older?",
        "description": "The child graduated from college this year, from high school has been only summer and winter vacations together, this epidemic makes a long time has been together, but there is basically no communication between the child and the child, sometimes go over to try to say something to the child, it will feel that he has to retreat, and then I do not know what to communicate good.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Child Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, subject! @The strong bond between people is through daily time spent, communication and connection, even if they are relatives. Because of your studies, you are actually spending less time with your child than before, and there is a lack of contact.  In fact, this period of time children are still in adolescence, but most college students, including me, will find that after college compared to the period of junior high and high school, the relationship with their parents are in the repair, ease or harmony period. At this time, we are more able to see some of the hard work of our parents, as well as mature enough to feel their love, to tolerate their habits. Of course not everyone reaches this stage, some later. Of course relationships need to be fostered, they all need to be earned, on both sides. @Even if the relationship is cordial, teenagers begin to develop a gradual sense of independence and privacy from puberty onwards, and these ideas only increase as they get older. And because of this perception, parents often ask questions or talk about topics that the child resists answering, and then the communication is not as effective as it could be. Of course, this is not the fault of the parents, and if the child recognizes the parents' desire to talk, he or she will try to cooperate. However, the conversation will not be smooth and in-depth. Some children are more open and want to talk, so it's easier for parents to connect with them. And parents who are open, up-to-date, or humorous are also more popular with kids. Try to get to know your child's hobbies and talk about facts or recent events around them or online. It will be awkward at first, but gradually after the transition period, they will get close. Secondly, sometimes the child is reluctant to talk about the latest news and so on, probably because it is complicated and difficult to say, and said perhaps you can not understand his feelings. Reflect on whether you have emphasized a relaxed, talkative family environment since childhood, and whether you have given good feedback on your child's expression, etc. These are all influencing factors, so take your time. These are all influencing factors, so take your time! When your child goes to school, have them or you call regularly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, long-term alienation and lack of understanding need to be alleviated through genuine communication over time, not once or twice to achieve results. From your description, you can see that you are a thoughtful parent who wants to care more about your child's world, but because of the long-term lack of communication, which makes both of you a little awkward and overwhelmed. After graduating from college, you yourself have a sense of independence and have learned to take on some things and pressures on your own. Maybe your child doesn't tell you because he doesn't want you to worry about it, or just like you, he doesn't know how to break the silence. The character of each child is different, some children like to talk and laugh, share a lot of their own things with the family, and actively show their world, while others are strong and understanding, want to hide themselves, so that they slowly learn to deal with all things alone. Treat the other person's indifferent behavior according to the child's characteristics and behavioral habits, instead of narrowly thinking that the other person is ungrateful to his or her parents or whatever. You can take the initiative to express your true inner thoughts and expectations with your child, so that your child knows that you want to be close to him and understand him, and that no matter what happens, even if it's a small thing, you can confide in him and share it with you. For example, as you described here, like the child to elaborate their own heart, express their own once neglect, but also express their own now on the lack of communication with each other as well as the lack of topics to talk about the overwhelm and helplessness, will let all of their own feelings know. And express the hope that he can tell you more about some of their own feelings, their own world, so that you also have the opportunity to understand more about him and so on. Through these, he will know, the original you are so care about him and care about him, he may also adjust their thinking and habits, in the future life more and you chat, both share their own world, but also to bring you comfort and fresh perspectives. Can not be in a hurry, will each other have things can be frank and communicate with each other, such thinking, into a good way of interaction, it takes a long time to complete. Because trusting each other, as well as relying on each other with confidence, is something that takes countless expressions of each other's emotions and feelings, give your child some time, and give yourself some time too. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! Let's first analyze the psychological development of youth changes: 1) Physiological development and psychological development to reach the level of maturity, cognitive, emotional and personality development is becoming more and more perfect, and began to form a stable outlook on life and values. 2 began to enjoy a variety of social rights, the expansion of the living space. 3) began to face the work, love and the expectations of marriage. Based on these changes, we communicate with the child on an equal footing, respect the child's ideas, hobbies, more listening, less talking, appropriate encouragement, guidance and support, so that the child in the communication of the parents feel the democratic and open attitude, in this inclusive communication environment, the child is slowly willing to speak out of the heart. The development of self-concept in youth has a characteristic: to recognize oneself through the evaluation of others, which may be peers, parents and elders, and his deep influence on the role model and so on. The owner tries to observe more about his child's hobbies and interests. Or what are his expectations for the future? Is there any stress in the near future? And so on to know the enemy and know yourself, so that the child feels your support and love, understanding and recognition, communication naturally close and pleasant oh! I hope to help the owner, the world and I love you!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 19885
       },
       {
        "question": "Do parents always rebuke without thinking, to be taken to heart?",
        "description": "Parents always take it out on their children, and when they see that their children are in a bad mood, they say that it is an unintentional reproach, so that the children do not take it to heart. Will this have a great impact on the child's psychology?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Parental Communication, Growing Up",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, everyone needs to learn to manage and regulate their own emotions, rather than venting negative emotions on other people, even those close to them, can be confided in, but not violently vented. From your description, you can see that because your parents always blame yourself without thinking, and make yourself feel sad and aggravated, and can not understand whether such behavior will have a negative impact on yourself. The answer is yes. When confronted with parents who do not know how to deal with their own emotions, the child may feel afraid and worried. If the parents take out their emotions on themselves, they feel bad but may not dare to fight back or be unable to do so, and keep suppressing their emotions, becoming timid and cowering. It may be that in getting along with others, they may feel guilty because of the bad emotions of others, and they may think whether it is some of their behaviors that make others feel emotions, and they cannot adapt well to the interpersonal environment. At the same time, parents are their children's first teachers. Seeing their parents handle emotions in this way, children may be conflicted, i.e., on the one hand, they know that this way of handling emotions is going to cause others to be hurt. On the other hand, they may think that if their parents are like this, why can't they be like this themselves; or they may have a subtle influence on their children, making their children's ability to regulate their emotions poor as well. You need to communicate well with your parents, express your feelings clearly, and tell them that they need to deal with their emotions instead of taking their temper out on you. In addition, pay attention to regulating the way you respond to your emotions, you may also unconsciously release your emotions on others, so reflect diligently and consciously manage your emotions, you can utilize deep breathing or record your emotions to relax yourself before responding to the problem calmly. Good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 13884
       },
       {
        "question": "Have not been very happy in life. Introspective about what I want? But don't know what.",
        "description": "My father died at a young age, and my first online love of 5 years broke up due to long distance",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, see the words. First of all. See your description of the feeling that you are now more confused, so for their own inner want is not very clear, and even for their own life is not too clear goals, in fact, in the growth and development of each person's stage there will be such a period of time, but you will be more concerned, and also described other related to your real life situation, which makes me a little curious about why. Because from a psychological point of view, there is usually a deeper meaning behind one's claims. Secondly. If your current state of life makes you confused, we suggest that you can choose professional counseling for personal growth, through professional counseling to explore which part of your heart is more concerned about, and then according to the direction of your concerns to develop your life plan and goals. This way, you can be clearer about what your heart wants, because very often if we are always in our comfort zone, we will be controlled by our own thinking patterns, and therefore fall into confusion and do not know what our heart wants. And finally. If this situation lasts for a long time and there is no answer, it means that you yourself have a weak mental ability, so there is no way to find the true demands of your heart, then the help of the outside world is the most effective way to break this situation.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you a deep hug for life's big tests that anyone faces, it's just a matter of sooner or later no exceptions, we eventually need to face it all ourselves. You lost your father when you were a child, and I was unhappy for a while recently, but quickly adjusted myself. I realized that what I wanted was to spend the rest of my father's life with him happily, not to leave myself or him with any regrets, to give him everything I could, to let go of all his worries about me, to try to make my time with my dad happy, and to live with no regrets when he's gone, to live with the guilt and the longing. All I can do is live out what he didn't live out and live happy living without regrets. You lost your father too early, it's not easy to face all these complicated and difficult things in life alone, with no one to support you, feeling as if you've been left behind by your father, many times you will be very helpless and unhappy, feeling as if the world has collapsed, which is too difficult. Unhappiness if it becomes a long term emotion that is affecting your life, you can ask yourself what you want through meditation and then list them one by one and make sure it is what you desire? What would your life look like with these things you desire? What regrets or differences would you have in your life if you didn't realize these? What would it take for you to realize or have what you desire? What can you do about it so that you can realize what you desire as soon as possible? Go ahead and experience each of the ones you have found, so you can confirm from within if this is truly what you desire from your heart? Will it make you happy? Will it help you fill in the gaps in your life?",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8449
       },
       {
        "question": "Bad personality, relationship anxiety, and inability to build close relationships with others?",
        "description": "Bad personality Fear of speaking inappropriately Fear of dealing with people Inability to build close relationships with others What to do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello, objectively evaluate yourself, realize your own shortcomings, but also to see their own charm, reflect and change the improper place, so that they slowly grow. From your description, you can see that your evaluation of yourself is biased towards the negative, you need to first distinguish between the state you describe, is it the way the facts look, or your irrational thinking processed to show the way. Bad character? So where do you think you need to change? Are the good parts of your character, the parts that are appreciated, noticed by yourself? These good qualities can be used more often for self-suggestion, to look at yourself objectively, so that you do not become too negative, but in a state of calm or positivity, it is possible to solve problems. Try to break through something you haven't done or are afraid of and avoiding, don't be afraid of failure and embarrassment, everyone goes from youth to maturity, and to grow, you need to pay a price and work hard first. If you are afraid that your expression will be wrong or hurt others, you can think for three seconds before you speak out, such as how the people who hear it will react and feel, is it necessary to say? Is there a good way to express yourself? And so on. When you think it is necessary to speak, and the other person will not have a negative reaction after hearing it, and you have thought of a good way to express it, then you can express it bravely. The ability to get along with people needs to be developed when you come into contact with people and deal with them. Carefully observing other people's mannerisms and expressions, listening to each other's words, expressing one's own feelings, getting to establish a good interaction and forming a stable relationship is a series of processes where sincerity and attentiveness are wanted at every step. Take your time, when you have the courage to put yourself in the pile of people and consciously develop your interpersonal skills, you will definitely get something out of it. Good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 14072
       },
       {
        "question": "After the breakup, I feel like I've lost everything. The whole world has nothing to do with me.",
        "description": "After the breakup, insomnia, dreamy, irritable, always crying, feel like I have no friends, want to die, feel like I lost everything, the whole world has nothing to do with me.",
        "keywords": "Love, love lost",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject may I ask how long has it been since your breakup? Breaking up may not be as simple as just losing someone, everything related to the person, the relationship seems to be lost, maybe even including a sense of self-worth. So, after a breakup, it always takes a while to digest, don't rush, take your time. If it's only a fresh breakup and you're experiencing these symptoms, they're still normal, so give yourself a little more time. If you find it really hard to adjust yourself, you can go see a counselor. You can also find family members around you to talk to, express these feelings of yours, you will feel a little easier, the support and companionship of family members, will also make you feel that you are not alone, you have not lost all. If you don't have the right person, you can also write down the past of this relationship, your current feelings, all your pain, worry, and so on. The process of writing is actually the process of organizing your thoughts, and perhaps your rationality will gradually intervene in your emotions, thus helping you to come out. When we are in love, we may feel that our relationship is our whole world, and after we break up, we may feel as if we have lost the whole world. However, this is all just a stage of feeling, when we come out of this stage, we will definitely be able to clearly realize that our world, in addition to our feelings, there are many, many more. Take your time, gradually shift your attention from your feelings to your studies, career, hobbies, family and friends, etc., and slowly go about getting your world back! Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15265
       },
       {
        "question": "Second child's labor and delivery not going well sick still with sick oldest son, husband just wants to relax?",
        "description": "Second child two more months, the last month are sick with children, maternity is also a variety of bad, high indicators are difficult to drop, stress, recently sick with coughing older son, but also their own take care of their 7-year-old son, I have let him recently two people at home are sick to stay at home, my husband is still going out to friends get together to make tea and chatting and fishing, ask him what he said to stay at home with his son with his wife are oppressive pressure, go out and friends happy, relax, he works during the day stress, night want to relax, I value as much as he takes care of the home, while working part-time without him, his salary is almost 10,000, but take home as a burden. relaxation, he worked during the day stress, the night want to relax, my value is no less than him, take care of the home, while working part-time themselves do not have to rely on him to support him, his salary of almost 20,000, but the home as a burden, there are times when the body aches and pains, but also in the nebulization of the son to do, call him outside to make tea, I'm crazy, he said that I'm nearby to make tea you have something to call me, I don't come back right away, the phone and in the home can be at any time to let people help! I feel different, I broke down and cried, after he said he was wrong he was willing to go home with the baby, and then I actually have a psychological shadow, expectations of him, but he can not do not believe him, before even if the disease is strong, but also did not share the household chores, I WeChat him I'm not easy this period of time stressful encountered any problems, he returned to me I've already gone to do it, you can not let me off the hook? Must it be like this? I don't know what I need to do now",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Concepts, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the owner a hug! I can understand the owner's inner depression anger anxiety and helplessness, the owner is pregnant with a second child is still sick, the eldest son and coughing, the family is very \"need\" the husband to take responsibility for the care of his wife and children, this is a very normal thing, but the owner's husband would rather be outside and friends get together to make tea and chat and fish is not willing to go home, in which case which women stand! In the owner's position is estimated to be very difficult to understand accept to bear. However, in the information provided by the owner can be seen, the owner's husband feels at home with the owner with children is very depressing pressure, then he is naturally not willing to stay at home to take care of their wives and children, which indirectly reflects the owner of the problems between husband and wife, I am curious about the owner of the husband and wife usually how to get along with the exchange. Problems in the relationship between husband and wife are often not just which one's problem, more is that both have their own problems, the owner's husband to avoid the responsibility of his wife and children at the same time, but also reflects his heart in the face of the owner is very powerless and helpless, lack of self-confidence and sense of security. In turn, the husband's \"weak\" indirectly reflects the owner of the family in the \"strong\", which is with the owner of the value of their own not less than the husband, with children at the same time you can do part-time work to support the family, do not need to be supported by their husbands. I can see that the owner of the building is really very strong and capable, perhaps the owner of this is to help the family to alleviate some of the financial pressure. But this is also equivalent to another aspect of the owner \"deprived\" him of the enjoyment of the rights and obligations to assume responsibility for the family, to do what originally belonged to the husband to do, then he also has nothing to do, since the family does not need him, naturally, he does not need to stay at home. For the owner's husband, he also needs to undertake his own responsibility to his wife and children to get his wife and children's understanding of acceptance and recognition, to find their own sense of being a man, husband and father's sense of existence and value, that is to say, he also needs to be abandoned by the family by his wife and children \"need\". If his wife and children do not need him, then his sense of existence and sense of value is gone, the inner needs can not be satisfied, you can only seek outside to meet, which is also he is not willing to go home to accompany his wife and children for a reason. The reason why he feels depressed at home or also has a lot to do with the owner's view of the way to treat him, the owner mentioned that there are some expectations of the husband but he can not do, and then the owner can not trust him, plus the owner's husband mentioned in the back that he has been in accordance with the owner said to come back to do. The owner is still not willing to let him go, and asked the owner must be so can be seen between the owner and her husband lack of sufficient in-depth communication to understand, the more misunderstandings between the two people. The more misunderstandings, the more contradictions will also be more, to the husband and wife of the relationship between the impact is also more and more. Therefore, the owner can try to express their true inner thoughts and feelings with their husbands, listen to their husbands' thoughts and feelings, these troubles are put on the table to say clearly. On the one hand, it can release the pressure to reduce the owner's heart, on the other hand, it can promote in-depth exchange of feelings between husband and wife to understand, eliminate misunderstandings and conflicts between husband and wife. Misunderstandings and contradictions resolved, the natural husband and wife get along with there is no problem, the family can be easy and natural happy and happy life together.",
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          "answer_text": "The subject should first think about what his needs are. Your needs are you want your husband to take care of you or the sick child, if both, then you also need to tell him a period of time to take care of, for example, you take good care of the child in these days the child is well after you go to play and friends get together to make tea and chat and fish, OK? It's not over yet, this is a plan, we also need to write down an implementation intention, what is the reason? The reason is because there is a bottleneck in our cognitive ability called \"working memory\". You can think of the algorithmic mind as a computer, and working memory is its memory. It determines the upper limit of our reading speed, attention span, and all other cognitive abilities. The capacity of working memory is very small, but there are so many things we have to do every day that it is difficult for a small working memory to handle so many things at the same time. Therefore, when we write down the plan \"I want to take care of the children\", the brain will think that since this thing does not need to be executed immediately, it does not need to take up our valuable working memory: and the act of planning is over, the brain will throw the plan into deep memory, which is a kind of self-protection mechanism of the brain, but in this way, it will be very difficult to retrieve this task in the future. would have a very hard time trying to extract this task in the future. So what if we need to write down the intention to execute and think of the plan as a future event? Think about it, if you're catching up on a series and it updates every Tuesday night, by the time Tuesday rolls around, you'll naturally remember to watch the show, you don't need to be reminded. The episode that updates next Tuesday night is an event that is going to happen in the future. Such an event is automatically extracted by the brain when it comes to a specific time and place. So, the plan we are going to make should be like catching up on a TV show, not to watch the entire series, but to watch the latest updated episode at the time of next Tuesday night. In other words, you have to set a specific time and place for your husband's plan and turn the plan will into a command so that his brain can extract that command at that future time and place. This will make it easier for your husband to fulfill your needs. Of course, don't expect your husband to be self-conscious; it's still important to remind him when it's time to do so.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, pro thanks for the invitation to answer! First of all, you have worked hard, the second child's labor and delivery is not good also sick with the big baby, the husband instead of outside to make tea and fishing, which in itself contrast to any family member is difficult to accept, the family is both sides of the family, you are at home to pay more aggrieved. Why is it so? There may be many reasons, limited information, may not be able to say. First of all how about the husband is certainly not right, but he repressed possibly because of the following reasons. The first family is equal, the owner has to pay attention to life words and deeds do not hit him, such as he earns less, which may be counterproductive. The second owner owner has expectations do not trust him, men need their own women's worship and trust. How? First allowed in his neighborhood, but there are things at home to come back, do not look too serious to give him a heartfelt sign of weakness that need him. Men need to be needed, and this is not to lower your personality to please men, but to solve the problem. First allow him in the neighborhood is you let a step, we are for your next can let him and you talk about the heart, especially this piece of his repression, how he went home repressed, this piece to be able to open to talk, do not dislike him as soon as he opens his mouth. You can talk a little bit more, \"Is there anything else?\" \"Can you talk a little bit deeper about this just now?\" \"What did you think at that time?...\" \"Oh so ah, we may have misunderstood each other, I was...\" and so on, of course, whether it works or not depends on the specific circumstances, so you may be more aggrieved, you can also find a middleman to mediate, but I feel that it is not as good as you personally to improve the relationship to give him a big shake (if it is). I'm not sure how much of a boost you'll give him (if it's a case of repression built up in the family). If he doesn't want to come home for no reason I support you in disliking him, I hope what you met is not a scumbag but just a misunderstanding. Also, you need to show optimism, you need him but he won't make you depressed without him, a woman who smiles and laughs a lot makes a man more caring. I wish you a happy life.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "In life, we often meet a variety of problems, many things are just different perspectives. First of all, the subject's husband has a monthly income of about 20,000, from which we can see the other side of the personal ability and work ability is still quite strong, just in the family and household chores are not so much, which should be and he grew up in the family environment as well as the educational environment has a certain relationship, so we can find a time and the other side of the sit down and chat, listen to the other side of the family as well as children's education is what kind of attitude and opinion? We can find some time to sit down and talk with each other to hear what kind of attitude and opinion they have about family and child education. If necessary, you can also ask their parents-in-law to see if they can give their own advice, after all, the child's education for parents is the top priority. Secondly, the other side of the relaxation, for the other side, go out and drink tea with friends, fishing is indeed a form of recreational relaxation, the return of a high salary also means the same psychological pressure, so sometimes we do need to understand each other, this is the other side of some people's ideas we need to rely on and a bit, such as the other side of the family's duties. There are some things we can let each other personally experience, such as taking care of the child, take the child to the hospital, and the child's attending physician to talk to the child's teacher to talk to him, so that he knows the child's growth process, so that he slowly understand a father should do the responsibility. The last is that we need to give each other a little time and space, I can see that the subject is really very self-reliant, can be done independently of their own things almost do not bother others, but too much independence is not a good thing, so we need to give each other a little pressure, so that the other person understands that the family is made up of two people, and at the same time you can give each other a little bit of time to let each other slowly learn to grow. The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi: Children are supposed to be the business of two people, but somehow the evolution of human beings, evolution to the end, or born from the belly of whoever, is the business of whoever, no wonder many people do not want to have children now. But what I am curious about is what provoked you to want to have a second child again? Maybe your husband is under pressure that you don't understand and he needs to go outside to release it? You obviously deal with not wanting so much stress, but you're still willing to have the sweet burden of it too, so why is that? Now prenatal anxiety stress will affect the baby's health. Analyze and understand the problem: 1, the second child two months, the last month are sick with baby, maternity is also a variety of bad, high indicators are difficult to drop, stress, recently the eldest son coughing sick, but also their own take care of their 7-year-old son, you have let him recently two people at home are sick to stay at home, my husband is still going out to friends get together to make tea and chat and fishing (if you think your husband loves you, then he went out there are reasons) Maybe he's \"hiding\" from something, right? Did you prepare for the arrival of your second child or was it an accident? Did your husband really agree to have a second child? If the labor test for your second baby doesn't go well, the pregnant mother must be the most anxious, has she invariably released the pressure on your husband? (Listen, your husband seems to be very cruel oh, you are so painful at home, but he is alone to get away with it?) 2, ask him he said stay at home with his son with his wife are repressed pressure, go out and friends happy, relaxation, he worked during the day stressful, want to relax at night, your value is no less than him, take care of the home, while working part-time themselves do not have to rely on him to support him, his salary of almost 20,000, but the home as a burden, (is not your heart in the heart of the matter, what do not have to use you, but also what do you do? Not just with a wife and child, can not do? You seem to have a grudge against him, he seems to be very afraid to go home. Such a good wife and child, what in the world he is hiding it?) 3, there is a body pain, and in the son to do nebulizer, call him outside to make tea, you crazy, he said in the vicinity of the tea you have something to call me, I do not come right back, call and at home at any time you can let someone help, the feeling is not the same, you broke down and cried and fussed, (mother's heart are home and children, the father's heart is \"you need me, I do not just come back! Well\", properly like in the frame of giving you help, meaning, it is not my business, so you need help you open ah. Your gas is, a person support, but also asked him to help, obviously home is two people, obviously the child is two people's.) 4, after he said he was wrong he was willing to go home with the baby, and then you actually have a psychological shadow, have expectations of him, but he can not do not believe him, even if the disease is very serious before also did not share the housework, (I now seriously doubt that he said \"wrong\", you have asked for proof? What's wrong? Is it just to say it's wrong, or do you really understand something? If it ends up sounding like you're the one who pushed him, then it's pointless, isn't it? Look, you don't even believe him. Do you think he's real? If he's not real, what's the point of him saying that? What is the purpose of you having a child? Is it to cause you trouble? Can he [make it clear] that it's [his child] for that matter? (If he still has a small child inside, it needs to grow up, otherwise you are pregnant with these emotions, that is going to affect the child ah.) 5, you microblogging him, you are not easy this period of time stress encountered what problems, he returned to you, you have gone to do, you can not let me go? Must it be like this? Now do not know what needs to be done (also want to ask again: \"you ready to have a second child ready\"? Or is it just you who wants it? I think you are not as old as I am, and children may not be exactly the same for a woman as they are for a man, and you are so dedicated and responsible for your family that he won't be willing to be dedicated and responsible because you've already done all the work for him. (That's going to sound uncomfortable to you, but think about it, think about it carefully, and you'll figure it out.) Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! May your family be harmonious and successful! If you are confused, write privately!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It feels like the subject is under a lot of pressure right now, perhaps related to the fact that you're physically ill and hormonally unstable during pregnancy, and at the same time you're having to multi-task with the baby, seeing the baby, etc., at a time when your husband doesn't seem to be particularly helpful and isn't giving you the support you're looking for, and so you're just running out of steam in this situation. There was a telling comment from hubby that he finds it stressful to be at home with his son and his wife, so it's not hard to understand why he's always out relaxing with his friends. First of all marriage and family and children are not easy, it's normal to have a certain amount of stress, if he doesn't want to have stress then what's the point of getting married? Great to be a single guy drinking tea and chatting all the time. Another point is that this stress is also not possibly brought about by your emotional problems? For example, if you complain a lot at home, break down and cry at every turn, and do nothing but criticize your husband, then the other person will also want to run away from the family very much in this case. So I suggest that the subject can talk to her husband openly and honestly first, don't complain, don't blame, just simply tell him what you are going through, how you feel, what kind of help you want him to give you, just express yourself honestly and express that you are going through a lot of pressure, and hope to have his support. Men are stupid sometimes, you need to tell him exactly what you need and what he should do, like don't just tell him you're under a lot of stress, tell him when you want him to be there for you and to help you with what you're doing, and then put the brakes on. If it's a responsible man, he'll be there to empathize and help you through it together. In addition, also take into account that he may have something he wants to do, we all need to understand each other, give him a certain amount of space, such as which time of the day he is able to go out to relax and leisure, so that he knows that after the hard work can be leisure and relaxation, resistance will not be so big. Marriage is not easy and requires the joint efforts of two people. Complaining is the easiest way to destroy a relationship. Why don't you tell each other directly and clearly about their needs, and then try to regulate their own emotions, after all, the family is their own, the children are also their own, these are their own valuable assets, so you will be more willing to sacrifice for the family, and will not be so easy to be frustrated when encountering difficulties. If you keep thinking that the other person should be responsible for the family, but he is drinking tea, you will become more and more exasperated, without a good emotional state is also very difficult to have a healthy communication, usually as soon as the exit will give people pressure. Look at the subject to the husband in your time of need to say a phone call he will be back, then prove that there is still some responsibility, willing to work and try, may be really to de-stress and go out to leisure, and more straight thinking. Think more about his good, and then calm and rational communication, I hope you can finally reach a mutually satisfactory state oh.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi reading your travails, I have a question, why do you want a second child when you have to take on the stress that comes with bringing up a child on your own? Isn't it only when two people agree to have a second child and come together to raise it? The triviality of bringing up a child will distract one's energy, so there will be pressure, especially when the child is sick, to the already fragile mother, but also a test, this time is the need for a husband by the side, even if not to do anything, but also a share of peace of mind, this is not to be blamed for the need. But if we can't meet the requirements, are we struggling with emotional entanglements, or are we thinking of walking out? The best way to do this is to make yourself strong. What do you expect from your husband, his companionship or his help with the kids, it seems to be more the former. In fact, the child really want to have a problem, the man more often will be more powerless, will not be stronger than a woman, but have him around, will give the woman more security husband will be all kinds of irresponsible state, at home depressing feelings, most of them come from your dependence on it, outside the fight, in addition to money, it seems that there is no more strength to give to a moment in the grasp of their own people, there is just to escape. It has nothing to do with how much money each other earns, it's about how you can be attached to each other and independent of each other in an entangled relationship. A mother, all of life in the family, children, husband, no more space for themselves, this state of no self, will naturally grab others to fill the inner hole, just the external can never satisfy themselves, only when the independent face of the relationship and life, others do not help themselves can also be snooze, I believe that the other half, will be co-creation of the attitude of joining the life, rather than only provide money to the participants. I believe the other half will join in the life with the attitude of co-creation, not just providing money to the participants. I am not judging who is good or bad, but I believe that only when I have the strength, I will be able to jump out of the emotional distress, and face all kinds of situations openly, willing to be brave and independent.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f give you a warm hug and understand you especially. You do get more tired now that you have to take care of your oldest son during your pregnancy and your husband is not available to help you because of his busy schedule! That's really special and admirable that you're hanging in there, it shows that you're a very good perseverance, I'd have a hard time doing that. I have two kids now, and I usually just need to cook for them and do laundry and pick them up and drop them off. Whenever I feel tired I take it out on my husband. If your husband is really particularly busy, we suggest that you see if you can first find the elders of the family, or their own parents to come over to help you temporarily to help, so that you in the first few months of pregnancy a little bit of a reprieve to ease a little bit of a little bit of help to take care of the oldest son on the basis of the said that you are now pregnant in the first few months of pregnancy should also be someone to help take care of is the best, and you are now able to take care of the whole family.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, pro thanks for the invitation to answer! First of all, you have worked hard, the second child's labor and delivery is not good also sick with the big baby, the husband instead of outside to make tea and fishing, which in itself contrast to any family member is difficult to accept, the family is both sides of the family, you are at home to pay more aggrieved. Why is it so? There may be many reasons, limited information, may not be able to say. First of all how about the husband is certainly not right, but he repressed possibly because of the following reasons. The first family is equal, the owner has to pay attention to life words and deeds do not hit him, such as he earns less, which may be counterproductive. The second owner owner has expectations do not trust him, men need their own women's worship and trust. How? Allowed in his neighborhood, but there are things at home to come back, do not look too serious to give him a heartfelt sign of weakness that need him.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9090
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know how to deal with the fact that I'm obviously in love with the other person and I have to suffer together?",
        "description": "He always smacked me did not give him a sense of security, do not return his message, but chatting we have every day, and we have open cell phone positioning, did not return the message for a few hours, but positioning in the home, he will fight with me, I never and boys ambiguous, but also never chat with strange men, accurately speaking there is no such thing as I never chat with the other boys, and after he was together, I do not go out to play at home, and then help the family do things. Then help the family to do things, I and he is a long-distance relationship, the two cities in fact only 1.2 hours away, I think this does not count, he always felt that I stayed in the old home I sooner or later will leave him, because the two people are not together, I can feel that he is particularly insecure and possessive, I can give him, but I really sometimes fight with him to quarrel with the people are very annoyed, that is, physically there will be uncomfortable, headaches, I I really just want to go on with him, but every time he that kind of possessiveness and question our feelings when I am particularly difficult, difficult to escape, I have a very calm and said the future of the two of us, but every time he is very agitated, yelling and crying, I really can not stand, I do not know how to deal with it!",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Security, Arguments, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner! Very understand your mood and feelings, sometimes really make people feel helpless ah. \"Because the two people are not together, I can feel that he is particularly insecure and possessive, I can give him\" sense of security this topic is very large, including a very large number of things, from a broad perspective, the organism's self-preservation instincts is one of the greatest sense of security, narrow sense of security, including personal safety, as well as emotional security. . An important reason for a person's insecurity lies in his or her intimate relationships, and the family of origin, which is the first and most important intimate relationship for all people, most of the time fails to perform as expected. The interaction with the family of origin has a very strong influence on the person, and if the relationship is mostly characterized by happiness, contentment and joy, then the probability is that these will become a major theme in the person's life. On the other hand, if the relationship is characterized by disappointment, sadness and fear, the probability is that the person's life will be filled with negativity and insecurity. Security is difficult to give, because it is a subjective feeling, rather than an objective, real existence, that is to say, it is no standard, or its standard is not operable. Is it possible for two people to be together 24 hours a day, 365 days a year? For people who are extremely insecure, not seeing each other for a second may cause this kind of uneasiness, so unilateral giving and fulfillment cannot fundamentally solve this problem. \"I have a very calm and talked about the future of the two of us, but he is very excited every time, yelling and crying, I really can not stand,\" this situation is already a more serious \"regression\". As an adult male, in the face of similar emotional problems, emotional excitement, yelling, crying, obviously is not normal. What are the views and perceptions behind his strong emotions that we need to explore and address further. Girl, I believe you love each other and I believe you are sincere to each other. But if you really want to try to fix his \"psychological problem\" (let's call it a psychological problem for now) as much as possible through an intimate relationship, it's not an easy thing to do, and you need to be prepared for the fact that it will take more than time and patience for you. In this case, I still recommend receiving psychological counseling, but the premise is that he is willing to, after all, psychological counseling is to help people help themselves, if the visitor does not take the initiative to adjust and change the willingness, then the effect of counseling will be greatly reduced. I wish you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear subject! Hugs to you. From the subject's confidences, it is clear that the subject's boyfriend is a very insecure person, which may be related to early experiences, or perhaps to the experience of being frustrated in relationships as an adult; whatever the reason, his insecurity has bothered you, stressed you out, and has begun to attack himself. The headaches are a sign that the subject is attacking himself. Hugs to the subject, not every conflict is your fault, don't make everything about you, try to let yourself off the hook and look at this objectively. To the subject of this relationship, I talk about two points of my opinion. I hope it can help you. First, the boyfriend's insecurity. The subject did not mention too much, I do not know where this insecurity of the boyfriend comes from. If it is the experience of early years, and parents do not have a good relationship, then this insecurity has been with him for a long time, want to heal him is not an easy thing, of course, but also definitely not an impossible thing. If the subject can be strong enough to give each other enough security, constantly tolerate his shortcomings, may be able to heal him, but the process will be very difficult, the subject has to consider clearly whether you can stick to it. If you don't have a strong heart, you'll be the one who gets hurt in the end. Give each other a sense of security is not to let each other at any time to monitor their own, but to find ways to talk and get along with each other to let each other understand that the relationship is not so fragile. He can believe in your love. Second, a sense of boundaries. You get along with each other has broken this sense of boundaries, two people in love, but also two independent individuals. Need to have their own space, if all-round together will make you feel very tired. He should find what he is interested in in life and get into it. Focusing all your energy on you will overwhelm both of you. From the subject's confidences, you can tell that the subject is a lot more mature in his thinking than his boyfriend, and needs you to give more in order to go well, I guess. Patience + wisdom, I hope you are happy.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "[First] Typical Compound Pattern Seeing your description, I can see that your boyfriend is a typical compound pattern person. On the one hand, he doesn't trust you and thinks you will leave him and hurt him. On the other hand, he is very dependent on you and wants to gain security through you. [Second] the inner child's rebound behavior can not get a sense of security on screaming, hysterical, are the performance of a child. This shows that your boyfriend is still very immature. [Third] The scales between you and your boyfriend are not balanced Seeing your description, you have been led by his temper, manipulated by him and lost yourself. Therefore, you need to be yourself and behave as you should be. At the same time, tell him that you do back to yourself does not mean that you do not love him, when he has something, will still appear. [Fourth] Give space and time to adapt because he will definitely rebel and want to keep the forgiveness mode of getting along, so you have to be firm. Your scales keep getting out of balance and one day you will both break up. For the sake of your future, don't compromise so easily. Leave a little space for yourself when appropriate. [Fifth] Encourage him to be independent Encouraging him to be independent is more positive than running away from him and compromising. You can give him praise when he does something right. Most people like to be praised for doing something, and rarely would they like to be blamed, or wronged, or asked to do something. That's why it's important to encourage him appropriately. Since you have said that you would love to be with him, there is always your reason and there is always his charm that will attract you. The way is given to you.Anyway, blessings to you, namaste!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello yah, \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f boyfriend insecurity Couples, whether they are together or long distance, are insecure at one time or another. After all, when we fall in love, we go from being a person to a couple, we have a new role and that role shift is something we want. We will have more emotions because of this new role, such as giving security to the other person as well as taking security from the other person. People are in the process of getting from each other, only the amount of getting varies from person to person. [He always smacked me did not give him a sense of security, do not return his information, but chatting we have every day, and we have to open the phone positioning, did not return the message a few hours but positioning in the home ......] can be seen from the owner of the description of the building, you in order to give each other a sufficient sense of security in the relationship to do a lot, but the other party is still insecure, and Let you feel overwhelmed. You may wish to try to solve the problem from the following points: \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f Assess why your boyfriend is so in need of security Before he met you, did he have an unpleasant past, the loss of security experience, resulting in his nagging, so much so that in the present life especially valued the intimacy between the two. Fear of another lack of security. You can tell by the description of what is going on that you are important to him, and you like him a lot. So be patient, spend time with him to heal the past unpleasant experiences, give him some time to grow up, let him understand that the past is over, and the rest of his life, there is still you to spend with him! \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f Try to solve the problem of two people in a different place because of love so will want to be with each other, can not meet the day want to meet, want to know whether you are in the place is also sunny, dinner? Long distance is a great test of a couple's direct relationship, so in order to take it a step further and give him a sense of security, you might want to try to make further planning and try to resolve the long distance. \ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f\ufe0f Stop the endless bickering Between couples, effective communication is important. You need to work on your ego to express yourself in a better, gentler way. And your boyfriend needs to learn how to control his ego without going overboard. In short, this is a process that takes time to change little by little, because of love, so I hope the owner can hold on and watch the two people to the good side. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If your boyfriend doesn't have the will to change, it's really hard to change what you have. We say no one can wake up someone who is pretending to be asleep. The subject said, because the two people are not together, I can feel that he is particularly insecure and possessive, I can give him, but I really sometimes quarrel with him quarrel people are very annoying, that is, physically there will be uncomfortable, headache, I really just very much want to go on with him, but every time he kind of possessive and questioned the feelings between us when I am particularly difficult, difficult to want to run away, I have a very calm and said I have a very calm and talk about the future of the two of us, but every time he is very excited, yelling and crying, I really can not stand, I do not know how to deal with it? From the description, I can feel that your boyfriend needs intimacy. Although we have short contact with many people every day, it is still not enough for us. People need intimacy because intimacy is different from ordinary human interaction, intimacy can satisfy our need to belong. So what is the need to belong? In American psychologist Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs theory, the need to belong is the third level after physiological needs and safety needs, which maintains our inner peace and is a kind of instinct for us human beings. In other words, our happiness depends largely on how much our belongingness needs are satisfied. In order to fulfill the need to belong, we strive to establish and maintain intimate relationships with others. Once we have a crisis in our intimate relationship, we will be soulful and prone to think of bad things, which will alienate the relationship between two people. It's really hard to deal with a boyfriend who lacks a sense of belonging and is not willing to change himself, like the subject boyfriend, but there are two ways to go about it, the first one is to stay away from him and circumvent all the conflict, then chances are you can get a relatively peaceful relationship, but it's not an intimate one. The other way is to really realize that in relationships, true harmony comes from emotional maturity. So the specific situation is that one of them, just one of them decides, I want to grow up. And when you take full responsibility for the growth of your relationship, your intimacy takes a step forward. So now that one person has taken a step forward, what about the other person? That person (your boyfriend) will either take a conscious step forward as well, or sooner or later your relationship will end as well. So most of the time, when one of the partners actually takes responsibility for growth, the other will eventually follow their partner's lead. But at the end of the day, it all starts when one of the people in an intimate relationship starts taking responsibility for their own growth, not just for the relationship alone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18567
       },
       {
        "question": "What about always denying yourself and always feeling learned helplessness?",
        "description": "I don't feel like I can accomplish or do anything well. I always deny myself and I'm afraid to be alone in unfamiliar environments, is there any way to change that?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "#What about always denying yourself and always feeling learned helplessness? #Of course there's a way~^_^ I don't know your age and experience haha, so I can only make some explanations based on what you've written. First of all, about the word learned helplessness, how do you understand it? What kind of feelings and thoughts do you think this word brings up for you? If you were to express it in another word, what word would you use? I believe that as you have come to this day, there must have been good things that have happened in your life, things that have been praised by people. If you were to think back on one such thing at this moment, what did you do at that time so that you could do things well? What were some of the things that you were encouraged to do in that process? What would you say if you were to share this experience with someone close to you? What qualities or abilities from the process do you feel you can hold on to or continue to utilize in your future life? Three months later, when you have overcome the problem you described today, what advice would you give to a friend who comes to you and tells you that he is always in denial? I invite you to do the above thinking ~ I hope it will help you! Good luck oh~!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 833
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm 23 and my boyfriend has been set up on a blind date, is it still possible for us?",
        "description": "My boyfriend and I are both 23 years old, and have been getting along well for eight months of online dating, I'm his first love, and we have a steady stream of video voices every day. Recently he was arranged by the family blind date, the family also know my existence, just do not quite believe in long-distance. He was called to talk a few times, said that considering the future life of various reasons finally choose to break up with me. I also from the beginning of the reluctance to pester to now release, but the heart is still a little reluctant. Although I understand that he may not have the initiative too much to listen to the words of the family, in the future, even if the two of us may also be subject to his family will not be happy. But I'm just not willing is angry, can not believe that so gentle and beautiful people actually have no way to make their own decisions, why he has been working, economic independence, but still do not have the right to insist on choosing their favorite people to decide what they want to do in the future will be swayed, I still have the opportunity to change him? I'm going to graduate school this year, set a deadline for myself, and would like to ask whether it is still worth it to wait for him to grow up.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Lost Love, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm afraid the hardest thing in the world is to change someone else, and there's no guarantee that you'll be able to change him for sure, and your time is precious, so why not spend it on something more worthwhile, with someone more worthwhile to give it to? Whatever the boyfriend's reasons are, he's now made the decision to break up with you, he's putting the rest of his life above you, he'd rather listen to his family and go on a blind date with someone else than try again, fight it, and try to be with you. He made his choice, and the answer is pretty obvious to me, he obviously doesn't care enough about you. How do you know that he was just pressured by his family? Maybe he thought all the reasons his family analyzed for him made sense, so he chose to give up even after his own thinking. Maybe what you should be most worried about is not that you will be subjected to his family in the future, but that he can't take responsibility for his own life like an adult, he can't even stand up for the people he loves, will such a man be like a time bomb in his life? You don't know if he'll look out for your interests, maybe when there's a conflict between you and his family, he'll choose his family, so what will you do then? Who are you going to rely on? You can't change a person who doesn't want to change, just as you can't wake up a person who is pretending to sleep. The person who truly cherishes you will go out of his way to come to your side, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with his family, so that you can feel secure enough to know that he can be counted on, and you know that he will always be on your side. And because of various reasons, various excuses to leave your people, let him leave, even if forced to stay, how much bottom of your heart? Can you trust and rely on someone who abandons you because of a few words from a family member? Now focus on yourself, build your own life, you deserve to really value you. Don't be with someone who hesitates, thinks twice and gives up on you, your determination will wait for the one who really belongs to you.",
          "has_label": true,
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           },
           {
            "start": 244,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! Regardless of whether the experience was good or not, first love is always special. That's why it's easy to call people reluctant. After eight months of online dating, have you met? Did he come to take the initiative to see you? Long-distance relationship does have a lot of difficulties and tests, there is no deep enough feelings long-distance relationship break up is sooner or later. You said that he has no own opinion, too much to listen to the words of the family, even if he is with him, in the future will also be subject to his family, the two will not be happy. I think your judgment is very rational ah. How can you risk your own happiness because of your own reluctance? He is already working and financially independent, can't he decide who he likes? If he listens to his mom so much in terms of feelings, then he is also a mommy's boy undoubtedly. Have you ever thought about him because he doesn't like you enough? Maybe if I ask this, it may hurt your heart. But I think you should seriously think about this. This year, you are ready to go to graduate school, you are a very good girl, there are more possibilities for future development. It's better to change others than to change yourself. When you make yourself better, maybe you won't ask yourself if he's worth waiting for. May you become a better version of yourself~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, after reading your account I would like to say that no matter whether the other person will change or not, on the question of whether it is worth waiting for, only you can decide, compared with his change, this is the thing that you can control. I believe that after you get along with each other and understand each other, you must know what you want more, in front of each choice, each option has certain pros and cons, you value those more, those are important to you, I believe that you must have a weighing.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9435
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you get nervous and panic when you see a good person yourself?",
        "description": "Every time you see a good person or thing, you will be very nervous and anxious, always feel weak, not as good as others, but also for their own future is confused, do not know what to do. In fact, I sometimes want to work hard upward, and also have a clear goal but is the action is missing so much, action to keep up but insist on missing so much, action and insist on keeping up and will be affected by external factors, in short, it is difficult to do something, in fact, they want to accomplish.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Development, Self-Growth, Stress Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, everyone has the need for self-actualization, and realizing one's inadequacies and shortcomings, acting positively, and not feeling discouraged by failures is the way for every strong person. From your description, I can sense that you have developed anxiety and low self-esteem in the comparison of self and others. In the process of self-improvement, a strong sense of frustration and helplessness arises because of the inability to complete something in its entirety. Human beings, always pursue something, i.e. desire. The excellence of others in your eyes, may be the ability, knowledge, connections, popularity, etc., these are the advantages and strengths of others, the same, you also have their own flash point, these may also be envied by others. Appreciate others, but not presumptuous, their own shortcomings, there is always a way to correct, if your determination and perseverance enough. Choose the right thing and stick to it. The growth process of others cannot be replicated, we need to follow our own path, exploring it as we go. You can see that your self-awareness and analytical ability is relatively good, know what is the reason why you can not finish a thing, the goal, action, perseverance, is indeed very important, but the thing itself whether it is suitable for you is also very important. If you are interested in something and want to achieve it, you will be motivated enough, and because you like it, you will know how to persevere and overcome difficulties. Those \"should do\" things, \"must do\" things, may be due to the lack of interest, and it is difficult to continue. You can try to complete one or more things you want to make a plan, there may be long-term, there are short-term, to give themselves enough time to relax and rest, when they want to give up or feel unable to persist or be affected by external factors, you can temporarily stop a moment, or rest or relaxation or recreation, when the state of their own calming down, and then continue to carry out. It is amazing to persevere in accomplishing something, and you will also feel a strong sense of self-realization the moment you accomplish it, and this power will also motivate you to continue to achieve your goal. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15683
       },
       {
        "question": "How to live in the present when you always wake up in the middle of the night and are always in an anxious future?",
        "description": "Always waking up in the middle of the night, inexplicably panicking at the sight of cancer yah, or losing your partner. Can't bring myself to live in the present, either in the past or in the future.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Moods, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! There are not many words, enough to express the current situation inside you, which is two words: anxiety, resulting in frequent waking up in the middle of the night, affecting sleep. Poor sleep, more likely to aggravate our anxiety, forming a circular cause and effect relationship, mutually reinforcing, seems to enter a closed loop. Poor sleep quality, always waking up in the middle of the night, I have had the same experience, whenever this time, I realize that there must be work or life in the pressure, usually when I need to prepare for an event or focus on achieving a short-term goal, it is often such a situation, so the subject's feelings are very understandable. The subject is entangled in the present, the past and the future of life, for you the most real than the present, insomnia, worry and fear, disease and loss occupy your entire thinking, looking for shadows from the past, your loved ones, your acquaintance with people whether there is related to the disease or the departure of life has left a shadow on your heart, so you are more worried about the disease to come, or to take away the closest to you, the lack of security The lack of security has caused your current trepidation. How to interpret your former traumatic experiences and whether or not you can accept them normally is what you need to address at the moment. When you feel incapable of facing them on your own, you can seek the help of a counselor. If you say, either live in the past or live in the future, in fact, it is also a kind of escape from reality, hoping to use this way to form a kind of protection for themselves, a kind of defense, the future has not yet come, you can rely on their own imagination, do not need to take any responsibility. Back to reality, the face of the present pressure, analyze the existing pressure, which can be resolved, which can not be resolved need the assistance of others, which parts even with the help of others can not be completed, one by one, for the complete inability to complete the matter, you can choose to give up or hand over to solve the present can be completed, or after efforts and seek help can be completed. Stress will always be there, what can be changed is our ability to withstand stress and enhance the ability to solve difficulties. I hope my answer can inspire you, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject. Perhaps [anxiety] is one of your current \"symptoms\", which Jung described as creative activities of the subconscious mind to save itself. So, what is your anxiety trying to express to you? What is it trying to make you realize and understand? In response to your question, I have summarized the following points for reference.1. About [anxiety] Appropriate anxiety is actually necessary for people. Without anxiety, there would be no source of motivation for self-growth. Imagine a person who is not anxious at all, as if there would be no motivation for self-awareness and reflection. In his book, The Complex, Junio Kawai writes that without the complex one is like a god, there is little mental activity and life becomes boring. So maybe for you, you need to see what kind of complexes are behind the anxiety, specifically? Then go a little bit to dissolve these complexes, then as a result of the complexes, this anxiety will also naturally lower. 2., about [panic] you said you see cancer inexplicable panic, and the fear of losing their partners. Panic about illness can be seen as a fear of death to some extent. Everyone has a fear of death, and at some point in time it will suddenly appear or intensify because of something that stimulates it. For example, illness, passing away of a loved one or friend, etc. Seeing one's fear of death and facing it up is really difficult, as existentialist Irving Aron said, \"It's like looking directly into the blazing sun with your naked eye, you just can't hold on to it for very long.\" But also Aron says, \"Facing death head-on is not a matter of opening a troubling Pandora's box, but of returning to life in a richer, more compassionate way.\" So the fear of cancer may be leading one to see the fear of death that you ignored or couldn't face before, and if it can be faced with courage, then a different insight can be gained. The fear of losing your partner seems to be followed by a fear of being alone after losing your relationship. If your current relationship with your partner is stable and your partner is healthy, then it may be insecurity imprinted from earlier experiences that is behind your fear. If you are yourself experiencing less secure relationships as well as illnesses, then again this part of the fear can be evoked. To prevent bad things from happening, go ahead and envision bad things happening, which is itself a defense against bad things that might happen. How to do this is really a clich\u00e9: face it and accept it. In Mr. Zeng Qifeng's words: try to \"separate the past from the present, and separate yourself from others.\" 3, about the past, the present, the future you say you can not live in the present, either in the past or in the future. This is actually one of the anxieties that people have about [existence]. Maybe the present moment has some pain and hard feelings for you that you can't bear, so the subconscious mind makes you either stop in the past or live in the future in order to make you feel better. Maybe stopping in the past and living in the future may not be so pleasant. But it is at least better than the present. And so a cycle of indulgence is created, where the harder it is in the present, the more you go back to the past and the future; and then the present becomes harder and harder. Over and over again this cycle goes on. How to change. In terms of action, meditating and watching the breath and meditating are the most effective ways to pull us back to the present moment in a short period of time. Maybe try it for a while on a consistent basis. Back to the psychological level, that is, to sincerely face our past, present, and then, the future will be rewritten. Still in the words of Mr. Zeng Qifeng, the goal of psychotherapy is to maximize the elimination of the influence of the past on a person and to help a person live better in the present. The above is my answer. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In fact, not only the questioner is anxious about the future, sometimes I also worry that there will be all kinds of accidents in the future, so what I can do now is to do my best to make all kinds of preparations, so that I can seize the opportunities when they come, and I can face the crises calmly when they come. Simple to make a few analogies, such as our parents, there are times when I will suddenly worry about them to leave me, so I will cherish the time with them, although now not together, but if I have the opportunity I will give them more phone calls to talk about their hearts, to see how they have been living, when I was small, it was my parents who took care of us, as time passes, we need to learn to take care of them, when I was small, I didn't like to listen to their nagging, but when I was small, I didn't like to listen to their nagging. I like to listen to their nagging, after the big only to find that the original parents nagging is not so annoying. For lovers we need to learn to understand and support, two people together will inevitably have a variety of problems occur, so when we meet the problem we do not complain, but to learn to think about the problem from the other side's point of view, to see how to help each other to find the root cause of the problem, what are the solutions to learn to encourage each other to recognize each other's efforts, what will happen in the future, we do not know, but with people who love each other in the We don't know what will happen in the future, but learning to run a marriage with someone we love is a good life. For children, we can be a little more recognition, do not impose their own will on the child, we can explore the child's body advantages, according to the child's character and the growth of the child's tailor-made, so that the child to become a real self, rather than the parents of the puppets. For work, we can be a little more responsible, do what they should do, and others to work together, do not be afraid of hard work, try to do so that both sides are more satisfied, there are problems can be communicated in a timely manner, but also to learn to prompt their own work efficiency. For friends, we can be a little more sincere, sometimes can not be too concerned about the gains and losses, to do a little bit of modest efforts, sometimes a loss is also a blessing. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is normal to wake up in the middle of the night and see what (cancer) gives you anxiety and worry that something bad will happen. The object of worry is also varied, such as illness, accident, death, in the form of unconscious, rapid, automated, habitual, patterned thinking logical reasoning, picture imagery, triggering the experience of anxiety emotions. The subject should have a hard time with this! In general, the more you feel worried, the more narrow and rigid your focus becomes. Anxiety is the result of a narrow focus, just focusing on a problem and an issue. So we need to look beyond the problem or issue. We can ask ourselves \"what's going on\" and \"what am I worried about\", replace anxiety and fear with \"curiosity\", and take the time to answer these questions, which can immediately Reduce the intensity of your anxiety and give yourself a chance to avoid the negative emotions; Next you can check in with your body. See which part of your body is feeling the emotion and stress, then focus on the stress and take a few rounds of deep breaths until you have more inner peace; our bodies can defend themselves against emotional attacks, our hearts cannot. Then explore your needs, ask yourself \"what do I need to do\" and take steps to fulfill your needs, such as having dinner with your partner, etc. Once you start to feel good, it means you are better able to solve your problems. The reason this works is that it's impossible for a person to be in two emotional states at the same time, so once you're in humor or entertainment mode, it's natural to drive away anxiety, anger or fear and enter a state of calm. When your brain is satisfied with this calm state, it stays longer and becomes your internal \"default state\", giving you more control over yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have read your brief description and I feel a sense of fear, powerlessness and loss. I would like to give you a warm hug(\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065But from what you have said about not being able to live in the present, or living in the past, or living in the future, you have a clear understanding of yourself. But from what you said about not being able to live in the present, or in the past, or in the future, you have a very clear idea of who you are, and you're better than a lot of people because of that. First of all, I would like to ask: What kind of dishes did you have for lunch today? How many meat and vegetables? What soup did you drink? Do you remember? Maybe you are [eating] every day, but when you are eating, are you also thinking about the past or the future? Have you ever savored every dish, every bite of rice, every mouthful of soup [in the present]? Have you ever carefully felt the [chewiness], the [aftertaste] when you chewed each bite of rice? Whenever you take a shower or wash your hands, do you always want to finish quickly and do something else, and have you ever taken the time to experience the [slippery] feeling of the water running over your body and fingers? Therefore, if you want to return to the present moment, it's very simple: try to eat every bite of your meal, wash your hands every time, and slowly try to [pay attention to] everything and everyone in the present moment! Bottom line: The past only exists in memory, the future only exists in fantasy, only the present moment is the most reliable!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, the description of the subject is very little! However, it can be seen that the subject's emotions include anxiety, fear and even compulsion. Generally speaking, the emergence of such emotions, there must have been some previous major events or changes, the specific circumstances Sanshin do not know, can not accurately judge. * Unable to allow himself to live in the present, either in the past or in the future. The description of the subject's sentence, living in the past can be understood, living in the future means, is it that the subject imagined a lot of bad future, and then thoughts in the unknown worry and anxiety? The subject's current situation is indeed more serious, three good advice or should find a psychological counselor to communicate, because the counselor can give positive attention and appropriate treatment according to your specific situation. Cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, focuses more on solving the problem of the moment and is more suitable for a short period of time. Of course, with the deepening of the treatment, if it involves the subject's former problems, it is also necessary to continue to guide and correct them. Psychodynamic analysis, more focused on the former, from the root of the individual thinking and cognition, but this requires a high level of skill for the counselor, the treatment time is also longer.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. - Hi! Owner. When I read your question, \"Always in anxiety, anxious about the future, can't allow myself to live in the present, either in the past or in the future,\" I think you are an owner who has awareness, you see your anxiety, but also the content of the anxiety - the future, and even more so, the You see your anxiety, but also the content of your anxiety - the future - and even more so, you see the solution to your anxiety - living in the present. Maybe you see it all and know what to do, but can't do it. Let's try to talk about panic and anxiety, the present and the future. \u25c6 Panic and anxiety because the owner did not mention the specific reasons, so it is not very clear that the specific events that triggered panic and anxiety, then we try to logically look at the panic behind the fear, panic in front of the anxiety, imagine, the owner is not afraid of anything, which led to panic, panic and do not know what to do after the anxiety triggered it? Panic has taken over your mind, and you can't think of how to solve the fear before you have ushered in the anxiety. So can the owner try to quiet his mind and think about what we can do if we solve the fear, for example, facing cancer, facing loss? Strengthen our bodies? Spend good time with the partner beside us? Because only by doing so can we delay the moment of facing cancer, facing loss, and you are now panicking that anxiety is not beneficial to you, I think you understand. In addition, panic and anxiety is a normal emotional reaction when we face events, and the body is self-preservation, when we can not see the inner needs, the body has to choose a way to express, so that we can see, and the owner of the building is expressed through the emotions, so the owner is even more don't panic, to see their own needs is good, and then gradually action, to improve. \u25c6The present future is actually in front of the future, we first experience the present, before we can arrive at the future, and very often, we tend to be in the present, the heart is in the future, the owner can see this, then the possibility of improvement will be greater, perhaps because there are some difficulties in the present, perhaps because of the magnification of the future difficulties, and can not see the present, or too afraid of their own thinking the future will be Since the owner can understand the need to live in the present, then the owner to pay the power of action on the good, it needs to constantly remind themselves, when again in the future in the living in the future, to remind themselves to return to the present, and immediately put into action, after all, the only thing that is controllable is the present. \u25c6Relaxation When the owner is nervous, it is recommended that the owner practice letting himself relax, you envision the future is the picture you sketched, has not been presented in real terms, life and death may be the subject of the ultimate life of a person to face, that is to determine the matter, the only process, is that we can operate, to change, we can give their own process to add some sugar, some sunshine, so that the process with sweetness, full of flowers, and the process is brilliant, and the process is not a good idea. At least the process is brilliant. Finally, I wish the owner to get out of anxiety soon, live in the present moment, so that their surroundings are covered with sunshine and flowers.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20393
       },
       {
        "question": "The subject always thinks I'll leave him when he runs out of money. What can I do to help?",
        "description": "The guy always thinks I'm going to leave him when he runs out of money, what can I do to make him not feel that way?",
        "keywords": "Love. Security.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, if the other person is not secure enough, you can work on giving them enough security, both psychologically and behaviorally. From your description, you can see your current predicament, your boyfriend thinks that his money is an advantage and attraction, and you will stay with him because of this. You can correct the other person's view of you, in the usual communication and interaction, in the language more to give each other some affirmation about his personal charm, such as personality, way of doing things, advantages, etc., so that the other person slowly understand that they are with him because of the other side of these charms, not just a certain aspect. Secondly, the other party may not have enough confidence in themselves, perhaps money can give him a certain sense of security, so he also think that money will also give you a sense of security, so will always be thinking about this problem. You can encourage each other more, accompany each other to do some challenging things together, or can enhance the ability and charm of things, because just language support is not enough, but also need to have action to change, may be the other person will be more confident in themselves. Communicate openly with each other about your thoughts, discuss your views on money and its role in your relationship, share your thoughts with each other, and don't cause misunderstandings. Relationships with each other will always appear a lot of contradictions and problems, each person is a separate individual, have their own background and experience of growing up, the three views inevitably produce collision, how to let each other in the relationship, do not slack to understand each other, maintain the importance of each other's feelings, seriously treat the feelings, this is the need for each pair of people in the relationship, constantly thinking and solve things. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13548
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I fall in love with a divorced man with children?",
        "description": "I'm 27 years old and I'm in love with a man who is 10 years older than me, divorced with kids. My parents know about it too and say nothing to agree us to be together, but I really love and adore him. We have already had sex with each other, and it's really too hard for me to forget him. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Codependent Attachment, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ very understand your feelings, hug you ~ really love a person seems to age is not a problem, divorced with children is nothing, but from the reality of the situation is not so simple to consider, the ideal is that I love a person on what do not care also want to be with him, but that is always a little too crazy, unrealistic. Suggestions from three aspects to consider this matter, we say to life to be responsible for the decision can not just rely on the passion of the moment ~ 1, you said you really really love him, I can understand that kind of very deep love. But I still want to ask you how much do you think you know about him? What kind of person is he? Is he reliable enough? Is he a very responsible and sensible person? And very importantly does he love you as much as you love him? Did you find out that he has flaws too? Will you always love him? Feeling very much in love with someone may just be a whim, it may be that every point of his so that you like very much, but choose a person to spend the rest of your life to understand him, accept him for all that he is, are you ready to do it?2, the outside world's pressure. First of all is your parents, why do they disagree, just because of age? Have you talked to your parents about this person so that they can understand him and maybe accept him? Actually 10 years is a big age difference, can you do that without being indifferent to other people's voices? Of course you may think it's okay, as long as you can be open in your heart about it.3, a very important question is are you ready to live with him? Including with his children? Whether you can get along harmoniously is a process worth exploring, are you confident about this process? From an objective point of view, it's easy for so many problems to arise, and you have to be ready to communicate and solve them. If you just feel very much in love with him and are not willing to give up, then I suggest you think twice; if you feel that all aspects have been considered clearly, I support you to pursue the life you want. Good luck ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello girl, I hope my answer can help you. \ufe0fFalling in love with someone is blissful, but having parents against it is agonizing. Now True Colors can feel your deep love, your tangle and your pain. It's really not very possible to separate us from the person we love especially during the hot love period, so don't rush to make a decision yet. Regardless of the love of this person he is how old, is not divorced, this person will have a very, very attractive place, is able to meet the needs of your heart, is what you are missing, so we can take a look at, he attracted you in the end what is it? Is it the feeling of being like a father? Or is it mature and steady? Or sunny and positive? Or filial piety, etc. Then you mentioned that he is a divorced man, then we need to understand what is the reason for his divorce? Problems in a relationship must be a matter of two people, so it is important to see if he blames his ex-wife for all his faults and problems, or if he is also able to find his own problems here and have his own reflections. If not, he will carry the same problems into the next marriage. Among other things you also mentioned that you had sex, what does that mean for that? Then there is the issue of the children, who do the children live with now? How is the child's relationship with the parents? What kind of parenting style do the parents have with the child? All of this is not a problem when you're in a relationship, but it can be a problem when it comes to marriage. At the same time, through the man's attitude towards the child, you can also understand what kind of a father he is. I believe that if you get married, you will want your own children. Finally, let's take a look at why the parents are against it, in fact, the parents are afraid of their own daughter to suffer, afraid of their daughter is not happy. Then we need skills to communicate with parents on this side.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "! !!! hi, can relate to where you are right now. Consider a couple directions, right? One is how does the age gap affect your relationship? A ten year difference is a big advantage over a man of the same age in terms of life experience, maturity, and knowledge and control of women. This advantage in this area is also something you have trouble pulling yourself away from. Excellent people are often full of attraction, this emotional attraction can be understood, but more need to be rational and comprehensive consideration. Two people together, or frequent chatting, often consider the problem will not be rational enough, a lot of to be together or not the point will be the other party to control the dead. Secondly, how to rationalize and make a choice without regret? Give both sides a cool space, a few months time, try not to contact, so that they filter out some of the love hormones in the body, brain after the pituitary hormones, to be able to more comprehensive and mature treatment of the feelings of the two people, a clearer understanding of love. Finally make a choice. Third, this is an opportunity to accelerate self-growth. This aspect is more of a psychological level of growth, from your description, your parents' opposition may be a big reason for worrying about your mind is not mature enough, to put it bluntly, is afraid that you will be cheated by the old man in the society, both sides are not sincere? Is it more favorable to your future? Also, is it because of love or because you can't help yourself? (Can not help themselves sometimes is not necessarily love, is likely to be mature experience difference brought about by the gravitational effect, others are over, you are not, this time more likely to produce dependence) Finally, of course, from a general point of view, consider the other side like you what? Is he young? How long can they tolerate you? The most important thing is that you are in the two relationships, the self can not get good growth, in order to love to make sacrifices, I personally think it is not a good love. I hope to be able to help you, have questions welcome private letter to solve the puzzle.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the owner, the fact is that my BFF, my sister, and my former high school classmate all married divorced guys with kids and all are now over a decade old in good families and happy marriages. Of course, they all had very intense conflicts with their parents prior to their marriage, and my sister didn't show up to a New Year's Eve family party for ten years. Now, my aunts and uncles are also very old and are slowly accepting and recognizing. I can especially understand you, because it is really hard to tell the original reason for love, and now the divorce rate is also quite high, so the probability of falling in love with a divorced person is also high. I also want to ask you to understand your parents, because no parent would want their child to be a stepmother, their opposition is normal, the deeper the love, the more intense the opposition. However, these are not the point, the point is to come back to you to talk about the love after the firewood and rice and oil and salt love is beautiful, so that we temporarily forget the reality of the troubles of the marriage is realistic, two people into two families when two people together to go on, then, will certainly consider and plan for this part of the problem owners can be quiet, first ask yourself: 1, this relationship, they can get from it satisfaction and happiness how much? 2, this relationship, they can get from it satisfaction and happiness? How big is the satisfaction and happiness that you can get from this relationship? 2. What is the biggest extreme that you can give to this relationship? In addition to weighing the pros and cons in a thoughtful way, you can also listen to your own inner voice, if you think of the future picture of your life together, are you comfortable, or awkward? After you have sorted out this part of yourself, talk to the man about what he is thinking about this relationship, what his future plans are, and what his family needs him to do with you. If the man from both words and actions to express out, and your determination to live and then communicate with your family, parents in fact is worried that you suffer, if the man can through his behavior to obtain your parents' support and recognition, they feel that you chose the right person, you will also get their vote of approval. It seems to be a relationship problem, in fact, it is a very critical communication problem, and is an important decision-making communication in life also suggests that the owner can consult more friends around, and even the man's circle of friends, to do a deeper understanding of him again, and then finally make a decision. Bless you, will definitely find their own happiness! ~~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, it's not strange or shameful to fall in love with a divorced man 10 years older. *I really love him and what you need to know is what is it about him that you really love? Just thinking about it, having a good feeling can't be called love, it's \"attraction\". So, to figure this out, you need to know two things very clearly: 1. What do you want from love? What kind of love do you need? 2. Does he have love for you? Are your needs for love aligned? If these are clearly know, and each other on the requirements of love is similar, then there is nothing to say, firmly go on the line. If it is not very clear, just have a good feeling, then need to consider more things: * age difference is too much, over time whether there will be conflicts and can not be reconciled? *Will life be stressful, will he have a child and you will surely want one too, will finances allow it? *Will he be devoted to you, is he guarded against you? *Will you be devoted to him and will you be able to put him at ease? *Will you be able to take care of his child when you have one in the future? All of these are problems that you will face in the future. Sanshin thinks that your parents are firmly against it, not necessarily because he is old and divorced, but because they have taken all of these factors into consideration, and they don't want their children to be harmed. Therefore, the subject must let themselves first calm down, do not radicalize the conflict, now you and your parents are radicalized state, thinking about the problem are emotional, subjective view of the problem, you only calm down, let the subconscious out, suggesting that you should do! Of course, you must be fully prepared for your future choices inside, once you choose to bear the consequences, can not complain, can not regret!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know what your parents' reasons for opposing it are, and I don't know what your boyfriend's attitude is like. In fact, your parents' opposition is to your boyfriend, not to you, so if you and your boyfriend love each other very much, you should let him fight for your parents' approval. And you can say more good things about him in front of your parents, so that the probability of him getting your parents' approval increases. But we also need to understand that married life is a subject in your life, no one can replace you, you need to do a little separation of subjects with your parents, the so-called life subjects, which refers to the interpersonal relationships that we, as social beings, have to face in order to survive. According to psychologist Adler, all conflicts in interpersonal relationships are due to one's interference with other people's life issues or one's life issues being interfered with by others. As long as we can learn to correctly separate our own life issues from those of others, then our interpersonal relationships will also be greatly improved. How do we separate our issues? It means that we have to consider whose issues it is, or whose responsibility it is to bear the consequences of making certain choices. Once we recognize this, we need to learn not to let others interfere with our subject matter. For example, who you choose to be with ultimately affects your own life; in other words, marriage is a life issue that you should take on, and your parents should not interfere. Often times, our troubles are due to the fact that we carry other people's life issues on our shoulders, or our own life issues are interfered with by other people. As long as we can draw a clear line between our own life issues and the life issues of others, and cut off the life issues of others, from our own life, then our own life will be more relaxed and free.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello aca- I understand when it comes to this kind of trouble and give you a warm hug \ufe0f Question about falling in love with a man ten years older than yourself and realizing you can't get over it and your parents know about it while you have sex with him \ufe0f Little thought that you can ask a question like this shows that you still have your sanity and aren't completely drowned and overwhelmed in love. It's both fortunate and unfortunate to be in love with a man who is ten years older than you are, who is married and has children, and who is able to have sex with you under such circumstances, is such a man worth trusting? Similarly, if he can really divorce and be with you, in the future, can you guarantee that he will only have you and no one else? Cheating only zero and countless times, sometimes will be divided into people, but the probability will not be wrong, they obviously have a very good years, you can find a and their own age, there is a beautiful love, but to give up all this for an old man who cheated on you in marriage and also have children, I think it is not worth it. Regarding your comment about not being able to forget him, it's really all just a momentary thing, inside a specific time period, you feel like the rest of your life isn't perfect if it's not him because you're spending time with him. But most people after a failed relationship, in that period of time, do not all feel that without him, I have a hard time, in the aftermath of not also the same relationship, married, so there is nothing to let go of. There is, if you and he really together, and his ex-wife, and his children, and a series of problems, it will be very troublesome, and may even be a little tricky, so, while there is still sanity, give up! Save your best years for those who deserve it, and spend the rest of your life loving those who deserve it! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject: It should be said that the view of marriage in China is still generally conservative at present. So for some relationships such as divorce and remarriage, people are resistant from the inside. So to a certain extent, you need to understand your parents, they also want you to have a better home. Let's start with your problem: age gap, you are 27 years old, and the other person is 10 years older than you, that is 37 years old. The other person is divorced and has a child. You really love each other, can't forget each other, and have had sex. It's true that people who really love each other don't have to care about the age gap or whether the other person is divorced or not, because life moves on. Yet we have to consider the reality of the situation and what other people think. Why? Because human beings are herd animals and cannot be separated from social relationships. If our love is not blessed by others, it will produce very great psychological pressure and the marriage relationship will hardly last. Of course, saying this is not to want the subject to give up. Rather, I want the subject to consider clearly that if you decide to be with the other person, then you definitely need to be prepared enough psychologically. You may need to bear the different eyes from relatives, friends and so on, bear their incomprehension. There is also the very important point of how you will deal with his children, whether you will be able to treat his children as your own and whether his children will be able to accept your presence. Similarly, there is another question that you have to think about and that is your truest feelings for the other person. Feelings are an amazing thing, even when we are in them, we don't know our inner most true thoughts. There are times when we can't differentiate between friendship and love, and there are times when it may be a momentary impulse. Therefore, you must take a moment to think about how you usually get along, to see if you really love each other, and if the other person really loves you, only then you can make the most correct choice. Of course, the child is the biggest obstacle for you to be together. If you want to accept him, then you have to accept his child. He can give up you for his children, but he will never give up his own children because of you. So you have to figure out if you can genuinely accept his child and treat his child and your own child the same. Similarly, whether your child can accept you or not is also a question you have to face. He has his own mind, knows that you are not his real mother, there is bound to be a certain resistance to you, it may take a long time to dissolve. As for your mom and dad's opposition, I don't think this is particularly difficult to resolve. Because they oppose the original intention is for your good, hope that you are happy, not the same as you are subject to other people's accusations. If the other party can come up with enough sincerity to let mom and dad see that you are happy, they are sure to be able to accept it, but of course it may take a little longer. Again, you are an adult with your own judgment and persistence. If your attitude is very firm, they can only accept it in the end, because the future days are yours to go through, don't you think? However, in the process of your parents' slow acceptance, make sure you do a good job of communicating with your parents as necessary, and talk to them about the changes in your feelings for each other. From your usual communication, they are also able to feel whether you are happy or not, which will also change their point of view to a certain extent. I hope these suggestions can help you, and I wish you can be really happy.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! From the description, you can strongly feel your inner conflict, entanglement, confusion. From my personal point of view, I will try to analyze some psychological aspects, hoping to inspire and help the subject. If we simplify the brain into three aspects, it can be divided into reptilian brain, emotional brain and visual brain (neocortex). The reason why we have so many contradictions, entanglements and confusion because of this emotional event may be due to the fact that the reptilian brain (instinctive) and the emotional brain are united to fight with our visual brain. Without judging what is right or wrong, it would be helpful to first understand that the source of our contradictions is completely explainable, which would help us in our next judgment. I can't put any interpretation on the love thing, it's one of the greatest and hardest subjects of mankind, only in terms of low self-control (i.e. you have trouble controlling the fact that you really, really, really love him), but the questioner's question shows so much subtext at the same time, doesn't it? (age gap, divorce, kids, parental disapproval), if you could really love regardless, then go for the hobby, then would there be so much kink? Your kinks may be the visual brain helping you judge. Can you visualize this event in the future if you do come together? Imagine that you and he do come together, under the weight of long years of parental disapproval, in a situation with his previous children, is this the outcome you want? Imagine the scenario well, can you really accept it willingly and carefully, it's about your happiness for many years to come. Above, I hope it will inspire and help the subject. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I can see that your parents are also worried for you and ultimately want their daughter to live a happy life. You haven't been through a marriage, you haven't raised children, and you're still younger than him ...... so have you looked ahead to what you're going to face later in life? Have you thought about how you'll deal with his ex-wife, the children they share, the relationships that will never break their entanglements? Or has he told you why he got divorced, how the kids will live with you, or what the arrangements will be? What kind of future did he promise you? You love him very much, how much do you love his children? Or don't be in a hurry to argue with your parents, first communicate with his side more, understand each other more, and then make a decision is not too late ah.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17052
       },
       {
        "question": "22 years old and my ex's past is suddenly stressing me out?",
        "description": "Last year talked about a boyfriend, and he had sex with him he is the first love, a great influence on me, but his character is very bad, during the relationship also asked me to borrow money, but later also returned to me, at that time I do not know why is very like him, now think about having had this experience is really disgusting want to vomit, the most important thing is that, later and I said, he used to date a gun, he said that it was in 4 years ago, and then in September 2018 Around that time the woman he used to date sent him one of those mass text like messages meaning she had a disease! That year I didn't know him yet, then at that time his girlfriend made him do the test, it showed no problem (this later I saw that he kept the report card as well as some invoices from the previous test left in his phone, as well as a small vial similar to that used for testing), then later on my mom overheard our conversation, and my mom immediately asked him to go and do the test again, and he gave us the report as well as the invoice, which showed negative, which was last November and I wasn't very scared at the time. Later, I searched for his QQ number on the Internet and found some of the posts he had posted before, and saw that he had paid attention to a lot of posting bars which have the fear of AIDS, Az, as well as the posting bar of Azb marriage, and I looked so panicked and panicked. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on the way to the next level!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ah, summarize: a: last year in love sex, poor character break up. Sexual behavior, in fact, nothing, nowadays society is more open, this you need to adjust their own mind. Poor character, you know how to stop, stop loss in time, break up, let yourself go also let him go, very supportive of you. If the time of two people live worse than the time of one person, it is necessary to consider whether it is not appropriate. Second: later, the ex said he had a date, may be infected with AIDS. The mind is okay, and then found that the ex often search for information about this, the heart began to be uneasy. As you can see, fear comes to you step by step. \u2460 At the beginning, not so afraid, because he checked is negative, worried about the heart can be put 80%, \u2461 with him began to search and find their own, and even some words of stimulation, worried about the heart of this and hung up. \u2462 finally broke up, but after all, together, after thinking about it is still afraid. Third: how to do it? First of all: you can look for family help, if the mother side will have complaints and blame, you can find other relatives or friends, after the window period in time to go to the hospital to test and exclude. This you have to have a good mindset, things have gone wrong, we will be brave to solve it, nothing in life can not be, as long as one step at a time, and then also can be difficult. Secondly, you have to get out of the aftermath of this unhappy relationship. Encountered such a predecessor, you can not blame yourself, people live a life, what people can not meet it, at least we are now on the shore, the future is also very promising. Then how to come out of it \u2460 can go to do something that can make you concentrate on things, such as work when you work well, off time to live well \u2461 more social, friends and family will give you endless strength and warmth, especially family, family is the most tolerant of their most loving people.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a hug. I know you must be very scared right now, very helpless, very confused at this time. All the negativity engulfs you, but what you have to do now has to be calm, strongly has to have to be calm, only calmness can solve any problem, if you are not calm, there is no way to deal with everything. You have to be calm. Only then can you take care of this thing. Is it okay to believe in me? Trust yourself. I'll give you some of my personal views on this matter, I hope it will help you. The first thing is to go to the hospital to do a comprehensive examination, about sexually transmitted diseases above all to do a check out, do not look at his report report can be fake, only you go to large hospitals to check will be correct, you have to go to the provincial hospital to do. The provincial level is the largest hospital, if you really can not, the worst to go to the city hospital to do. If there is a problem that to do more than once to do two to avoid mistakes. Your time is already last year, it's too late for you to take the blocking pills to say, you do a checkup first to see what's going on. No matter how good it is for you to others, at least have a sense of security in your heart. Going for a checkup is a must. Otherwise stuck in the psyche is difficult, if it really has affected the people around you is also not good wait for you to do the checkup, if it is fine that is good. Then do not think so much, because life who has not encountered a few scum. Right? At least he told you this, then you notice this right? It's better than not knowing anything anymore, right? When looking for a boyfriend in the future be sure. Be more careful. Pay more attention, but no matter how careful, who knows what happened to him in the past, right? Think this thing is hard to say. So don't let this person or your first love affect your views and opinions in the future. You have to believe that there are plenty of good people out there. Good men. It's all a bit of an influence, but the subjectivity isn't yours and it does seem unfair to subject you to this passively. If it checks out that there is something going on, then you shouldn't be discouraged, you need to go confess and talk to your family, and then what, hopefully, from within your family. Get some material help. Go and buy some relevant medicines. There should be free ones as well as paid ones as well. You have to go for medication to prolong your life and control the spread of STDs. Otherwise you can easily get on your knees. You must be very full of negativity but don't be discouraged. Things if already happened and we can't change it anymore. We appreciate the time we have left to enjoy life even more. In fact, you think about whether there are some pustules and pimples spots and those things on top of his body. If not, it's usually not a big problem, although it has a long incubation period. Maybe it's his ex-girlfriend. Scared him. Although he did go to see so many groups and places, that's not necessarily true. You have to believe in yourself that there is definitely no big problem, and I'm sure you don't have anything going on. Get up the courage to go to the hospital. Mental stuff on top of it. Don't go affecting yourself too much with things you can't change. Even if there is already something. That's all the more reason to cherish the time down there. If there is no thing then it is good, but also to cherish life to start again. So whether there are things or not, we have to cherish the time to live better. Ah, don't waste that time on this. If you have any questions or don't understand sadness, you can also go play with me, we can talk to each other. I will always be with you to guard you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17873
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it because you're busy at work or you just don't want to talk to me? Is it normal for a boyfriend to react this way?",
        "description": "I've been having trouble with my boyfriend for a while now and was on the verge of breaking up. Yesterday I approached him to talk away and said a lot, he said he thought I would dislike him so he thought I would leave him one day. I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn't mind his past and just wanted him to take me to heart and treat me well in the future. Yesterday he didn't say much about getting back together either, he just said something about not leaving okay. I don't know if this is the face of my expression of his intolerance or really love me not to give up. In the evening, I came home and sent him a message, he simply replied: socializing, OK, OK, etc. He was probably very late after socializing, so I don't know what to say. He was probably very late after the socializing and didn't send me a good night. This morning I sent him good morning at seven o'clock, he returned at nine o'clock in the medical examination, I asked him if he misses me, he replied to a WeChat latest update \"let me see\" emoticon package. After that, I asked two or three more times, and I felt that it was either hasty or perfunctory. I didn't send him a message at noon, and he didn't send me one either. Maybe work is busy. But this makes feel very insecure, I do not know whether he is really because of work is busy or not really want to care about me, to me there are no real feelings? If my boyfriend doesn't send me a message for a day, I'm not happy, am I being too much? But our relationship was just eased yesterday, can't he spend more time with me?",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Security,Relationship Management,Good Feelings",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "#I told him in no uncertain terms that I don't mind his past, I just want him to take me to heart and treat me well in the future. #Take you to heart and treat you well? So this treating you well, is it according to your needs? Or is it according to what you've agreed upon? If it's according to your needs, then how is the other person going to treat you well if your needs keep changing? #If my boyfriend doesn't send me a message a day, I'm not happy. Is your happiness based on the fact that he sends you a message? That you don't have to go to work? If you weren't paying attention to him, what would you be doing? #But our relationship just got a reprieve yesterday, can't he spend more time on me? #It's true that he should have spent more time on you. And you can't assume he knows how to care for you and knows how to treat you well? So you might want to make your needs known in detail. #I asked him if he misses me #But the nature of your message, focusing mostly on your own needs, doesn't seem to mention and focus too much on his needs and feelings. For example, how is he doing at work? Has he eaten? Is he stressed at work? Does he need a good night's rest, etc. If your messages are all about making sure he's thinking about you, but not about his needs, how can he feel loved? #But this makes feel insecure, I don't know if he's really busy with work or just doesn't really want to talk to me, does he still have real feelings for me? #You don't trust him, essentially because you don't understand the nature of his work. Have you tried to understand the nature of his work and what he does? If you did, would you still be so paranoid? I can understand your feelings, if you need help, you can send me a private message.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I can see that you are a very sensitive girl, you care a lot about your boyfriend's attitude towards you, to think that after two people quarrel and good should have a more intimate period. Generally this is the case, but your boyfriend did not have such a reaction, in the end he is really busy because of work or not quite want to pay attention to you, you have no real feelings, or his original temperament is slower, or he deliberately want to deal with the cold, or other reasons, these you only go to ask your boyfriend. Your second question, your boyfriend does not send a message a day you are not happy is not you too make? I think you may be a little dependent on others, that is, a little sticky, security is not enough, it is recommended that you are able to give your boyfriend some space, do not stare too tight, learn to be independent. Love is an art, communication also needs skills, hope to repair the relationship between you, you also need to think more, more rational to get along, less play a little sex. I hope to help you, thank you for your question.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, just a strong dependence, there are good this bite of men, will be sweet, but how sweet, big spoon spoon feed you white sugar, you will also vomit. The correct posture should be, manage their own work and study and life, do not expect to return to the other side of the concern (to the extent that you are happy), and in the receipt of the other side of the concern of the time to give feedback vigorously, to put it bluntly, to build feelings of this kind of thing, can only do their own, thankful to the other side of the if the other side of the expectations of the other side of the as a must, there will always be a time of disappointment, life, who still do not have a thing, ah, busy ah, there are surprises ah, do The first thing you need to do is to check in with you every single time. Relationships have just been eased he can not spend more time on you? Love two happy only in a piece of time, in fact, the essence of who does not owe anyone, why ask each other to spend effort? I don't see you being a little more tolerant. Or wish the owner quickly develop a stronger self it :).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2162
       },
       {
        "question": "Is procrastination without self-control, which has gotten worse in the last year, considered a psychological problem?",
        "description": "I don't know if I'd count it as a mental or psychological problem. It's hard to focus on things unless I have to do them at the last minute, and it's gotten worse in the last year. Usually manifested as: 1. A thing to be done today, B thing is not in a hurry to do, but I preferred to do B first, rather do B than A. 2. Can not put down the phone, unless the deadline for something is approaching. But once close to the deadline, put down the phone after less food, less drink, less sleep or even do not eat, drink, do not sleep to do things crazy finish. 3. can not be single-mindedly do a thing, often have to do two things at the same time, obviously in the rest have to look for some business mixed together to do, but to do the business time to look for a little entertainment. For example, to watch the variety show, to 2 times the speed to play at the same time in the hand to do two questions.4. The last year the situation of procrastination and inattentiveness is more and more serious. Sometimes I can't even finish it within the deadline. I know I can't finish it and I'm anxious, but I just can't start the first step.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Procrastination, Anxiety, Cell Phone Dependence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Say goodbye to procrastination and finish today. There are a lot of people who suffer from different degrees of procrastination, such as homework is always done at the last minute, work is always done at the last minute, and even many people will comfort themselves with the thought that I am outdated and can't learn, so I won't follow the crowd. But is procrastination really what we want? Looking at the chaotic home, lifeless life, is this what we seek for ourselves? If not, then we can have a general order of priorities to keep our lives organized. For example, which things are the highest degree of importance, we can do which step, whether we need to coordinate with others, which things are the highest degree of urgency, which will bring their own impact, which is immediately can be completed, which is their own no way to achieve, when we list out, can be adjusted according to the priority. At the same time, you can develop some reward and punishment mechanism, I will give myself a chicken leg after my own paycheck every month, and if there are any poorly done, the chicken leg will be deducted. If so, then forget I said anything, after all, change requires a fresh start. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4600
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there a problem with guys who always ask if you can have sex?",
        "description": "I and he just became boyfriend and girlfriend, once inadvertently opened the sex topic, limited to talk about the relationship for three years did not find the relationship is not normal (he talked about a three-year relationship, but also did not have sex, although he wanted to), under this topic, I said I can only accept the marriage after the relationship, at that time, he also said that he is respect for the woman. Later on the conflict to break up, he asked me to say specific plans for the future, I said a lot, the result is that he circled back to this topic, the back of a breakup, my answer to this topic also became two or three years after the can to if I met my parents, and then to can. Now we broke up, but I would like to get back together, we have an agreement to complete before we can get back together, recently I want to find him, very simple to think of him, but again to this topic, both of us is the first time, he said that if I want to he can satisfy me once, I admit that I would like to have sex, but still hope that the agreement to reach after the agreement to be together after. But I was afraid to reject him because he said if I didn't fulfill the agreement, this would be the only time, he also repeatedly set me up like that, asked me about my attitude, and also said that if I didn't fulfill the agreement, he wouldn't be responsible for it, and I also said that I didn't need it. But I'm still puzzled by his behavior? Asked if it was love, refused to answer. You can't tell anyone you're having sex.",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Security,Relationship Management,Sexuality",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Through the subject description can feel that the other party is not a liar, but also not a person who wants to be responsible. For wanting to have sex this point, everyone has their own understanding, but must ask the girl to put forward, but also do not want to be responsible for the words, it is indeed a bit out of place, after all, want to have sex is voluntary, but explicitly said that is in the shirk, such words are really irresponsible. It is true that there are many young people who will try to have sex, and of course there are also many girls who will regret their decision. So we can ask ourselves a little bit, who do we want to leave our first time to? Is it the person you love the most? Or leave it to the most memorable time? In fact, no matter when, as long as they do not regret it. Of course, the other side of the words and deeds we do need to be careful, because he has been avoiding, and the relationship with his ex-girlfriend is not very clear, so we need to be more careful, after all, he wants to have a relationship with the premise of our voluntary, and do not need to be responsible for the other side, in this case itself is not responsible. Of course, the other side mentioned a point we can agree with, after the relationship is easy to hurt is definitely a girl, if the other side really does not deserve us to pay so much, then we have to learn to protect themselves. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 129,
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            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 162,
            "end": 233,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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            "start": 233,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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            "start": 330,
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            "start": 395,
            "end": 402,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. \ufe0f** First of all, the situation you described is sorted out as follows: \u25b2 and boyfriend talked about the topic of sex said that can happen after marriage sex, \u25b2 after the conflict to break up or can not get around the sex thing, \u25b2 mutual carry on the agreement but the heart of the doubt and finally broke up. ** In the marriage stage, it should be said that the occurrence of sex is a watery and natural thing, but from the point of view of your description, there may be such a reason that can not really happen need to wait three years later: ++ traditional sex education, the impact of sexuality, ++ the existence of reservations about his feelings, ++ to some kind of conditions to talk about feelings. The key ones are probably the second and third. If there are emotional reservations, it is more difficult for a girl to accept to have sexual intercourse. **From his point of view, he can't answer with certainty whether you love or don't love you, and is obviously emotionally reserved, or emotionally predicated on whether you have sex with him or not. And if he loves you, in fact, can not repeatedly to \"negotiate\" sex time, conditions, etc., this is a natural thing, feelings to the depths of nature you are willing, he is also willing. Or he can love you, to wait for you to the willingness of that day. Love is giving and can be unconditional. **Again, the attitude towards sex and love, we need the attitude and principle is ten words: \"autonomy, respect, responsibility, health, happiness\", ## if you in line with the principle of autonomy and voluntariness of sex and love, is OK, and vice versa is not OK, ## if it is a mutual respect is OK, if you can't respect each other, this kind of sex is problematic. ## It requires both parties to take responsibility for each other and for themselves, and if they can't, then don't do it. ##It needs to be done in a healthy and hygienic way, which requires attention and is related to diseases. ##Sex and love need to be pleasurable, and if there is no pleasure, and against the wishes of the partner, then obviously there is something wrong with that as well. epsilon bless you. I am in, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "He would say that he was afraid that if I couldn't fulfill the agreement and have sex, the woman would lose out, and I was in agreement with that. I feel like it's him who wants to have sex, but he always turns the topic into me, asking me if I want it, if I want it, and I bring up another topic, politely stating that I can't do it so soon, and it still gets brought back to that topic by him. Briefly about the reason for the breakup, I also studied psychology, so I feel that his ex-girlfriend's disregard for him caused him a certain amount of psychological trauma, and did not dare to love someone else, so one day I contacted his ex-girlfriend, but did not dare to ask, but his ex-girlfriend knew that there was a person who liked him existed, and then frantically stated that he would change to get back together. He couldn't choose, so he refused both, but yesterday he also said that he was having a bit of a hard time imagining a future where it wasn't her, but that if I made a pact, he'd let it go completely. My confusion may be that he won't answer if he loves me or not but always keeps the conversation going in that direction, I can feel he wants to have sex but then has to state that I proposed and won't be responsible for it, I guess he's the kind of guy that cheats on a date?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9927
       },
       {
        "question": "What should you do if all your besties who you play so well with suddenly ignore you?",
        "description": "It's just very sudden, a few of us were playing very well in the second year, but just promoted to the third year, they suddenly do not play with me, kind of like I was isolated, but I can not think of what I did wrong, but my pride and does not allow me to ask them, but I really feel very aggrieved, did not do anything, was isolated, and now the third year do not have a lot of friendships!",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Conflicts, Friends, Deception and Trust",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description of the problem, my mind will present a familiar scene, I have to say that many people have encountered similar distress. Originally very close to a few girlfriends do not know why, suddenly do not play with you, feel isolated, aggrieved, sadness is inevitable, you want to find out why, but has a strong sense of self-esteem you can not persuade yourself to take the initiative to communicate with them, it seems that whoever takes the initiative first who will lose. I guess now you, despite being isolated by them is very lost, but at least you will show the surface does not matter, do not care, of course, just my guess, you said that you do not know what you did wrong, from this point of view, you in the conflict will first think of what I did wrong? The advantage of this is that you will take the initiative to be aware of yourself, instantly find your own shortcomings and improve yourself, but there is a drawback is that the habit of attributing fault to yourself will make it difficult for yourself, easy to fall into the cognitive loop of my bad, of course, you can also see that you are actually quite sensitive and fragile in the relationship. How to break such a situation? First, you need to ask yourself, do you really care about them? If so, then you need to break your perception of self-esteem, take the initiative to try to find them to play, you take the initiative to find them, that you care about them, you feel face to face, you can step by step, starting from the message, or phone, and then face-to-face, which may reduce the face of anxiety, and your sincerity, I think they can also feel it. Secondly, you look at such a situation is not once also happened, if there has been or often, you may want to look at their own in the interaction with people, communication methods, but this can be learned, and finally, if you think it is difficult to seek the help of psychological teachers or parents.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, I read your description and can understand that you value your friendships and friends and feel lonely and uncomfortable about being suddenly isolated. You said that you played well before and there didn't seem to be any friction or conflict, and the sudden alienation of your friends makes you feel bad, but you don't want to communicate further. Realize that friendship takes work and effort. Friendship doesn't mean just sharing fun and playing together, it also requires the courage to break the ice when things are stagnant, and these are important parts of what friendship entails. For the sake of your cherished friendship, be brave and let your friends know your confusion and unanswered questions, whether there are any misunderstandings, or whether you have encountered any difficulties that you can face since you are friends. Of course you can also find a relatively close friend to understand the situation first, and then it may be easier for him to help lubricate everyone's relationship. Bless you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Being isolated by a close friend is not a pleasant feeling! Confused, angry, aggravated, doubtful, lonely... But we have strong self-esteem and don't want to take the initiative to show weakness and ask for favor! What should we do? Or, I'll just ignore them for now and get down to the business of my own studies. Perhaps, time will calm all the misunderstandings between us. Or else, I will find one of the most trusted friends to communicate privately? Find out where the misunderstanding is between us, and then solve the problem? After all, we are good friends are not, good friends get along is to trust and emotional understanding of each other as the basic principle, the friendship of the enduring many times are also need to accommodate each other to continue, right! So this initiative to communicate to find ways to solve the problem is not a demeaning behavior, right?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3702
       },
       {
        "question": "Always wanting to keep eating or biting my nails, how can I make up for my underdeveloped orofacial period?",
        "description": "When I was a child, I was forcibly weaned, and I have always had the problem of chewing nails, and then I put on nail polish so that I would not chew my nails, but then I kept eating, in short, my mouth could not be idle, especially in times of anxiety or emotional ups and downs, I would not be able to control the food!",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Treatment Methods, Trauma Treatment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the owner a hug! It seems that the problem of nail biting has brought a lot of trouble to the owner's life, but it is understandable, an adult who always bites his nails when he is not moving is really easy for others to misunderstand the joke, and it will bring a lot of unnecessary trouble to his normal social life. The owner of such a situation in my just learn counseling when I have encountered, together with a woman at work, as long as she is happy to put her fingers in her mouth, I saw her many times, and then once I used a few pieces of paper rolled up a paper tube, see her fingers up to put in her mouth, I took the paper tube to hit her hand, she felt me hit her, immediately took her fingers out. Later, as long as I see her like this, I will go to hit her hand, slowly she bites her fingers more and more infrequently, until the New Year's Eve when she went home to send me a message that her husband asked her how to stop biting her fingers she realized that there has been no such thing. For some people, biting the finger is equivalent to biting the mother's nipple, the baby is unable to distinguish between their own fingers and the mother's nipple what is the difference between them, will be treated as the same one, through this way to satisfy their own inner needs, so that they feel that they and their mothers to maintain a close relationship between the link, can make themselves not so lonely anxiety and fear. Such a situation in addition to the use of aversion shock therapy, you can also use hypnotherapy, the release of internal repression of anxiety and fear of emotion, repair the inner trauma, so that their bodies and minds can relax, will not be so anxious and disturbed. The owner can also find some meditation and relaxation courses on the platform to look at, so that they can practice relaxation, can also relieve these anxieties.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello building owner! Here are a few ways to introduce you to relaxation training, I hope it can help you. It is an exercise process to make the organism relax from the state of tension. Relaxation has two meanings, one is to say that the muscles are relaxed, and the other is to say that the tension is eliminated. The direct purpose of relaxation training is to relax the muscles, and the ultimate goal is to reduce the activity level of the whole organism to achieve psychological relaxation, so that the organism can maintain the balance and stability of the internal environment. The basic requirements of relaxation training are: in a quiet environment, the practitioner should be in a stable mood, attention focused, muscle relaxation. In the practice, attention should be paid to the gradual and orderly progress, relaxation training speed should be slow. When relaxing a certain part of the muscles, it is important to allow sufficient time for the subject to experience the relaxation sensation. The success of relaxation training is determined by the degree of the subject's belief in the training, whether or not to closely cooperate. First, breathing relaxation method We can first exercise our clear awareness and consciousness of their own breathing condition. Because we are using abdominal breathing when lying down, you can lie down to experience.\u3000\u3000\u3000\u30001, to wear comfortable loose clothing, maintain a comfortable lying posture, feet to the sides of the natural open, one arm on the upper abdomen, the other arm naturally placed on the side of the body.\u3000\u3000\u3000\u30002\u3001Breathe slowly through your nostrils, feeling the inhaled gas a little cooler and the exhaled breath a little warmer. While inhaling and exhaling, feel the rising and falling movement of the abdomen.\u3000\u3000\u3000\u30003. Keep breathing deeply and slowly, with a short pause between inhalation and exhalation.\u3000\u3000\u3000\u30004. After a few minutes, sit up straight, put one hand on your belly and the other on your chest, notice the movement of both hands during the inhalation and exhalation, and determine which hand is more active. If the movement of the hand on the chest is more pronounced than that of the other hand, this means that we are using more chest breathing than abdominal breathing. We need to improve abdominal breathing.\u3000\u3000Second, muscle relaxation method: The muscle relaxation method achieves relaxation by making a person consciously feel the tension and relaxation of major muscle groups. You try this feeling: make your right hand into a fist, clench it tighter and tighter, then feel the tension in your hand and forearm, and let this feeling go into your fingers, palm and forearm. Then relax your hand and notice the difference in sensation between tension and relaxation. You can do this again with your eyes closed, realizing that tension, and then relaxing again, letting the tension flow away.1. Sit or lie down in either position and let the whole person be in a state of relaxation.2. Focus your attention on your breathing, adjusting the rhythm of your breath and keeping it even and rhythmic.3. Begin to visualize the relaxation of every muscle from your head, neck, chest, shoulders, back, waist, abdomen, legs, and finally your toes. Feelings, this feeling is like a melting candle slowly melting, starting from the head has been relaxing to the toes, and finally relaxed as if the whole person is paralyzed to the ground, how a candle melted comprehensively that feeling. Third, the mood relaxation method is in your anxiety or emotional ups and downs are relatively large when you can try to do the following things: 1. transfer emotions. That is, you should quickly turn your attention to other aspects. For example, sometimes run into things that do not go well or quarrel with relatives at home, may wish to temporarily leave the scene, a change of environment, or with others to go to Kanye, or participate in some cultural and sports activities, entertainment. This will soon dilute the original bad mood to drive away, and regain the mood of peace and stability.\u3000\u3000\u3000\u30002. Longing for the future. The pursuit of a better future is human nature, but also human survival and social progress. Only often look forward to a better future, in order to always maintain the spirit of progress. No matter where fate throws itself, should be calm. No matter how cruel the reality, should always believe that the difficulties are about to overcome, the dawn is ahead, believe that the future will be better.\u3000\u3000\u3000\u30003. Speak to others. Said also has the symbolism of the oral sex period, when the mood is not happy, you can talk to friends, which need to learn to make friends first. This is a way of expressing yourself in a way that relieves your emotions, not just through eating.\u3000\u3000\u3000\u30004. Broaden interests. Interest is an important condition to protect a good mental state. The broader the interests of a person, the stronger the adaptability, the less psychological pressure. For example, you can read books, writing, creative writing, painting, playing the piano, sword dance, raising birds, fishing, planting flowers and so on. In short, the broader the interests, the richer, fuller and more energetic the life, the easier it is to keep yourself relaxed.\u3000\u3000.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, maybe you can try these methods:1. When wanting to eat or chewing nails, try extremely hard to control it. Put on nail polish, or put the food in the house out of sight, control yourself when you want to eat, or relieve the emotion by drinking water.2. Divert your attention. When wanting to move your mouth, divert your energy to something else, such as doing something you are interested in, or reading a book, playing a game, etc., so that your hands and brain can't stop, which may be better. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! From your description of the problem, you believe that you are now often relieving your anxiety by emotional eating as well as chewing your nails due to an unfulfilled micturition period. It is true that one of the signs of unfulfilled micturition is emotional eating and nail chewing. However, it is difficult to determine that this behavior is a manifestation of the unsatisfied micturition period on the basis of these two characteristics alone. It is recommended that the subject seeks the help of a professional counselor, with whom he or she can have an in-depth discussion of the subject's problem. In addition, the subject can also through other ways to satisfy their \"oral sex\". For example, learning to play a musical instrument. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13484
       },
       {
        "question": "There are so many things to do but none of them want to be done, nothing to do?",
        "description": "Final exams are coming soon, looking at the date is getting closer and closer, looking at a pile of homework papers, but what spirit can not lift, do not want to do anything at all, do not know what to do!",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Procrastination, Avoidance, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, the ultimate way to deal with procrastination and anxiety is to convince yourself to get moving, and all the outwardly specific ways to do so point to the question of how to get things done. From your description, I can sense that you are feeling anxious and irritated and conflicted because you have a lot going on, near the end of the semester, a lot of homework, and probably other things. On the one hand, you know that avoiding and procrastinating just makes things, and your mood, worse and worse; on the other hand, there is absolutely no motivation to start anything. I understand how you feel, and many people feel the same way you do many times, wishing they could have someone to help them with their homework or that for some reason it was suddenly canceled, etc.; all sorts of fantasies that are just avoidance. You can try to let yourself rest for a day, do something you really want to do, want to play and want to eat, use this day to completely relax yourself, do not need to think about anything, just let yourself get pleasure to the fullest. After you've rested, make a plan for yourself, dividing the things you need to accomplish along two axes: importance and urgency. Plan your time by doing things that are both important and urgent first, and things that are neither important nor urgent last. In the meantime, the key thing is that you need to take action. From the moment you start doing the first thing, make yourself do it instead of continuing to avoid it, you must act for all the planning to make sense. There are specific ways in which you can get yourself to act, or you can seek help from family and friends. For example, when you are working on a paper, set yourself a time to finish one paper and then take a break to work on another, just as you would for an exam. Be sure to minimize or block out distractions, such as clutter on your desk, snacks, or cell phones. You can let your family and friends to supervise yourself, when you finish, give yourself a certain reward or other so that you can produce the motivation of their own efforts and perseverance, to recognize, do not underestimate this behavior, will allow you to gradually form self-discipline. Behind all the procrastination and avoidance lies our laziness and fear, we want to relax all the time, we don't want to work or study, we fear failure, even after we try exceptionally hard. But the good thing about us is that we can overcome them through our control and rationality, and I am sure you too will get rid of your procrastination and pick up your pen to do your papers as soon as possible. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18461
       },
       {
        "question": "What about meeting someone I love in a relationship and being afraid of getting hurt?",
        "description": "One person came along and made me realize why I hadn't developed a relationship with someone I had a crush on before. He was different from others in that he could care for me, and that care was the kind of love I craved. I saw me in him, and if I met someone I loved, I would have gotten up the courage to do the same, I was insecure, and have always been insecure. By security I mean a feeling of certainty that I won't be left alone, the kind of person who can take care of me without caring about what other people think, the person who belongs to me, I need that kind of solidity. He touches my head, he pinches my face, it gives me the feeling that he loves me, I experience love. I am afraid of being hurt, I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of being physically hurt and I'm also afraid that he will one day stop loving me and leave me. I react physically when he pinches my face and I don't know what to do? Will he remember how long I've been separated from him, and will I be doing him a disservice if I run away and ignore his likes? Would I feel regret? I'm so afraid of being hurt and not being able to love fearlessly, my heart hurts and I'm so tired.",
        "keywords": "Relationships,Security,Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thanks for the trust! Let's pulse through this together: (1) There is someone who comes along and makes you realize why you didn't develop a relationship with someone you had a crush on before. He is different from others, he can care for you, the kind of care you long for love. You see yourself in him, and if you met someone you loved, you would have gotten up the courage to do the same, you say you are insecure, and have always been insecure. @Why do you think you are like that? Try to put yourself in a safe environment, either by choosing a soft sofa or lying on a bed, give yourself a piece of soothing music, so that the body's relaxation, breathing calmly and powerfully, so that the inner gradually calm ...... Try to follow those small clues to explore the reasons behind it! (2) You feel that the so-called security refers to having a feeling of certainty that you won't leave, the kind of person who doesn't have to care about other people's eyes can pamper you, the one who belongs to you, and you feel the need for that kind of solidity. So do you think the person you're describing exists? Who do you think he would be if he existed? Parents? At most, they are with us for the first half of our lives, they will leave this world before us one day, but that doesn't mean they don't love us, does it? @Partner? Ideally, we'll be with each other for the rest of our lives. Even if we love each other, there will be a time when we'll have to leave... @Children? We stay with them for a certain period of time, and then we exit gracefully, like our parents and us. In that case, who is the one who stays with us till the end? @Yes, you yourself are the one who stays with you from the beginning to the end and never gives up on you. @Your security comes from your own certainty and heartfelt acceptance of yourself. @You can only truly love another person if you love yourself first. (3) You say that when he touches your head, when he pinches your face, it gives you the feeling that he loves me, and experiencing love, you are afraid of being hurt and don't know what to do? Fear of being physically hurt and fear that he will one day stop loving you and leave you. Love is just \"love\" itself, without any conditions or preconceptions. (4) When he pinches your face, he reacts physically and doesn't know what to do. Can he remember how long you've been separated from him, and would it be a disservice to him to run away and ignore his fondness? Would it be regrettable? The fear of being hurt and not being able to love fearlessly is so heartbreaking and exhausting. @Actually love and liking are your own business, it has nothing to do with other people, please believe that everyone has the ability and responsibility to deal with their own emotions, we just need to make \"choices\" and then bear the consequences. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, also feel the pain of the owner's fear of loss, yes, people in love are like this both longing and afraid, everyone feels this way. Love is a very obsessive thing, especially when you find what you desire. Respect your own feelings, physical and mental. Love follows the feelings. Don't use your brain to choose with how you feel in the here and now. Love is an experience of life is a process, in entering into marriage or a definite relationship between a man and a woman, there is a loss of previous passion or vitality, when there is a sense of certainty the magic of love is darkened, this is a fact that needs to be adapted and accepted. Having the experience of love in entering marriage is wonderful intimacy and one of the foundations for a happy future life. What is behind the fear of loss, is it feeling unworthy of love? Or is it the feeling of trepidation of being loved in this way, that no one has ever given it to you, or the feeling of how did you come across disbelief? Go and see what is behind yourself, what is it that you are afraid of. Suggestions: you can put your own worries and fears and the boy to say a little, communication is very important, so that he understands your heart also very much like him, to his feelings. Also let him understand your worries and fears, so that clear communication is the best way. Neither miss nor lose. Go with your heart and follow the feelings. Love, experience, and enjoy love. Love grows.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, there is so a person's appearance, let you feel unprecedented love, his care and pampering just are all you need, he touched your face, touch your head, all let you feel that you are being pampered ...... all this beauty, you want to have forever, you hope he can love you for life, life care for you, so you Fear of Separation and Fear of Hurting ...... This anxiety of separation keeps you from facing it. Fear of separation vs. desire to get We are easily in the state of suffering, the more you want to get, the more you are afraid of losing. The owner can try to pinch a handful of sand in the hand, slowly more and more tightly pinched, to see what happened? Experience the feelings at that time. There is a book called \"give and take\", the owner can go to see, there is a good saying that there is a give and take, the more tightly tugged, the less likely to catch. The more you tug, the less likely you are to grab it. Then we do not go to accept it? Life is short, there is so a person who loves himself, care for himself, care for himself, do not think so much, to feel the feelings of the moment, to accept this wonderful feelings, no matter how far it can go, later will be a good memory, life does not leave regrets. Maybe it is also a happy thing for him - there was once that one person that I wanted to protect, and I loved her with my whole heart. Looking back life has not been a wasted journey. Acceptance vs enjoyment learn to accept you should have enjoyed, I used to hear people say this sentence, can let a man for you to carry bags, this is to look up to him. Although the words are not good, but a woman is willing to a man to help him, that the heart is recognized him, a man is also willing to do things for you for free, that his heart is also like you, in that case, to give him a chance to serve you, no need to worry, he may also be for the next girl to carry a bag, just enjoy the moment. There is no medicine for regret in life, miss it, miss it, when you meet, go to cherish, leave it is not sad, is your final run, not you, how can not catch, there is so a person is willing to let you be the heroine of a lifetime, then cherish, no can also be their own heroine!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2965
       },
       {
        "question": "Getting roughed up by your brother all the time and always feeling like you shouldn't exist?",
        "description": "My brother is eight years older than me and has been beaten by him regularly for as long as I can remember. He did not play well in the midterm exams, in the high school admitted to the study is not as good as expected, the character of the gloomy. From then on, he asked me to study hard, saying that studying hard and getting into a good school is the only way to have a good teacher to teach me, and after that, I was often beaten because of my studies, and was beaten three days in a row and five days in a row. During the middle school period, because of the work of the father transferred to the provinces to work, often not at home, I was beaten more frequently and more fierce, and even a few times with a knife to threaten me, even if I know that my brother may just scare me, but still very afraid. Now I have become an adult is still often beaten by my brother, intimidation, resistance to hit harder, parents do not dare to care more, always thinking that they are boys on the good, they should not have been born. Also do not want to contact with the outside world, very autistic, afraid that others do not like me hate me, very low self-esteem.",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Trauma, Family Relationships, Growing Up",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Girl don't need to doubt yourself because of this, believe in yourself more, you are supposed to exist. As for your brother beat you. First of all between family members should never rely on violence to solve any problem, and you are now older are adult, more not suitable to still like the discipline does not listen to adults like children rely on violence to educate you, your brother's this practice is very inappropriate. Secondly, whether your brother is punishing his sister for doing something wrong as an elder, or taking out his emotions on you who can't resist him because his life is not going well, what he is doing to you is not right. There are a number of factors that have made your brother the way he is. First is the nearest factor which is family, your parents. Why would your brother continue the behavior of hitting you from the time you were a child to the point where it has become like a habit? It's hard to imagine being a parent and not having the authority to discipline your child, it's probably a consequence of not being disciplined as a child and now growing up. Then there is the school factor, you mentioned that your brother was not learning as well as he should have in school and had a depressed personality. This means that he has a lot of negative feelings out there, so it seems that he would need a place to vent his emotions, and that would be by beating up his own sister to relieve his stress and negative feelings. I'm sure it's hard for whoever listens to your confession not to suspect that your brother doesn't have any personal emotions mixed in with the prolonged violence he uses against his own sister. Lastly, there is the factor of communication between family members, and this issue is a priority. Communication is the only way to solve problems. Immediately find an opportunity where the family can calmly and clearly name the problem of your brother's misuse of violence against you causing you to be introverted and develop self-doubt before your brother's next move on you, discuss your ideas with your parents before naming the problem, tell them what you're going to do, and please be bold enough to have a head start and a head-on defiance. You shouldn't have to put up with your brother's violence against you for no reason, I hope girl you succeed in rebelling against your brother and get happier and happier.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the subject a hug first, \ufe0f\ufe0f___No one should ever force their worldview on another human being, no matter who they are. Not even if he's a relative.  (No matter what his reasons are.) \u2461 Be strong and don't give up. We are born as human beings and we should live happily in this world. We should live our lives with our own ideas. Don't be afraid. Fear won't solve the problem. Fear can't be avoided, only face it and break it. If you feel that you can't do this alone, you should find reliable assistance in time. Come on, I believe that everything will turn out well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading the question really want to hug you ah I also have a brother, he is eight years older than me, I can be said to have been bullied by him since childhood, when I felt his antipathy and aversion to me will ask why, the answer is \"just want to beat you, see you wrong\", and then I reflect on their own, how is it, oh, probably because I share his love from parents, but on the contrary, not a so attractive little girl, so look at my eyes is also normal it siblings are not as emotional as parents and children, we can actually be said to be the closest strangers, we do not have any responsibilities and burdens on each other, but on the contrary, we are still competing for each other's resources, there is no feelings may be rather normal. The first problem is that he hit you, just did not see you as a sister in need of love, so you do not need to see him as a brother, if you can, go through the legal process, looking for the Women's Federation, or disclosure, so that other people around you know what kind of person he is in the end a large part of the human life is the weak and the strong, only if you are weak enough to him to bully you to be enough to be unscrupulous, you must be stronger, psychologically or socially You must be stronger, psychologically or socially, to stand higher than him, people do not help themselves, the sky can not help. Parents can not give you help, if you can not get in the outside world, you can only give yourself, cold-blooded, strong, get a good university, find a good job, out of this cruel family environment in any case, I hope you do not suffer in silence, he is not right, there must be a way to correct, good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that it is not easy to live in this family, and I have been in fear since I was a child, and my brother's behavior has not been stopped, and I have not been properly protected, so that this original family has lost the function that it should be safe and warm, and my parents and brother are not in that role. I think you are also cautious in your relationships and are afraid of being inferior. This is not your fault, you are damaged and may need some healing to help you repair those inner fears.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14399
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is everything around us disappointing?",
        "description": "I used to think that trust is the most important and precious thing, recently more than a year of big and small things happened, I began to misanthropy, so I'm the only one who valued trust so much, this society is really not half of the lovely place. The temper itself is not good, emotions come and go, and from time to time I feel sad, always think of myself as a child, think of the most reluctant to part with the deceased, but I also know that many of the emotions have nothing to do with the people around me, so I have to restrain my own emotions. From time to time, I also lash out at those closest to me and then force myself to calm down. I can have a good laugh, but I'm only really myself when I'm on my own, stuck in that memory with its happy and sad moments. Whenever I want to try to take a step outward, I always encounter a bad thing that brings up bad memories from the past, drawing a blank and becoming more and more disappointed in this society. I don't want to be an optimistic and positive person (even though on the surface everyone thinks I am), I just want to be able to sleep well at night and not have to cry secretly behind someone's back.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depression, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Thank you for your trust and for inviting me to listen to your heart! Honesty is the foundation of a person's foundation, and the fact that you can regard trust as so important and feel that it is the most important and precious thing is a supreme character within a person's heart and is invaluable! Over the past year or so, the big and small things that have happened have made you realize the loss of trust of the people around you, and such an experience, no matter who it happens to, will feel endless sadness and heartbreak. It's just that if you hide yourself deeply because of these disappointing and unhappy experiences, you will indeed miss out on a lot of beauty in the world. Don't want to be even more disappointed in society is it, please let me come with you to see what we can do in the past experience. ** about trust ** trust itself is not wrong, trust needs mutual understanding, the need for long-term interaction, the need for a tacit understanding of the heart, the maintenance of trust, but also the need for the same heart of the two people! Trust in human interaction is based on a person's values, attitudes, moods, emotions, personal charisma interaction. Trust in others also means that you must bear the risk of being harmed by the behavior of the other party, that is to say, the willingness to bear the risk of being harmed is also the core of the trust between people. So you see, when you choose to trust others and suffer betrayal and the pain that comes with it, it only means that you need to improve your ability to recognize others when you interact with them. This ability is not something that can be acquired overnight; it takes days and months of study, practice, reflection, and contemplation. Here are a few thinking paths for your reference: [Rational Decision Making] If you trust the other person wishfully, without the slightest suspicion, it can easily lead to a crisis or exacerbate a situation of trust abuse. So when you think about whether or not to trust a person, to obtain sufficient evidence of the other party's trustworthiness, such as: word of mouth, intention, ability, reliability, and so on, in order to determine whether the other party is trustworthy. [Goodwill] When the other person has goodwill, they usually prioritize you or your mutual interests. When you choose to trust the other person, you will be able to work with them and neither you nor your interests will be harmed. [Emotional State] An individual's emotional state affects the judgment of the other person's trustworthiness. This is why many people are usually blind and overwhelmed by emotion when they fall into a relationship (romance). Keeping yourself in a cool head is conducive to making appropriate judgments. And trust is usually the result of the interaction of emotions and rational thinking. Based on the above, together with your past experience, practice more. I think soon you will be able to figure out the right way to act in your interactions with people. **About Kindness** There is nothing wrong with being kind to people, but you can't be blindly kind; kindness is not being pinched as a soft target. \"Kindness with teeth\" is an important rule for dealing with interpersonal problems. The so-called goodness with teeth is good enough to cooperate with others, but also enough principles to violate their own bottom line of the people hard. Let's say for example, you helped a friend, and then this friend just kicked you: \"Kindness\" is the next time you meet other people need help, still stop to help this person in need of help; \"Kindness with teeth\" is to no longer help this person who once stepped on you, (emphasis added) unless he has stepped on you. Kindness with teeth\" means not helping the person who has stepped on you, unless he chooses a cooperative strategy afterward. **On Optimism** Finally, a word about optimism. You also talked about hurting people close to you because of your emotional problems. I think this is mostly because of the unpleasant things that happened outside, touching the bottom of your heart once left behind the pain, when you return to the familiar feel safe in the environment, these deposition of the pain of the brain came up, so that you can not afford to take it, all the catharsis in the closest people. Often the reason for being hard on those closest to you is because inwardly you know it's safe to do so. So why did I choose to say optimism in the end? It's because optimism itself is having a positive attitude towards the future and towards others. It's also a surefire way to support us in walking with conviction. Jack Ma said, \"All the big people I've ever met are optimistic at heart.\" So you see, it's not about who has experienced less than whom, but who is more able to hold on to goodness in life, and who also understands the complexities and contradictions of human nature better, and at the same time is able to give the world a little bit more tolerance, always believing in the goodness of the world, believing that where there is darkness, there must be light, and believing that mankind will eventually move forward through the twists and turns. This is the so-called optimism! Do not be afraid of the floating clouds to cover your eyes, since you are in the highest level. May you be able to use the goodness with teeth to recognize those people who are trustworthy, to keep the clouds open and see the moon, to find the optimism, and to re-engage in life.",
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        "questionID": 10703
       },
       {
        "question": "Flagging is a metaphysics?",
        "description": "I'm one of those people who set flags and they fall. I just said I've never lost my meal card, and the next day it was gone. I thought I was in good health and hadn't had many colds since the beginning of the school year, and then I had a throat infection and a high fever. This is really a kind of metaphysics, right?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "This phenomenon is really particularly interesting and metaphysical. In psychoanalysis there is a saying to the effect that nothing is accidental, everything is inevitable. Jung said, \"Your subconscious mind manipulates your life, and you call it fate. When the subconscious is presented, destiny is rewritten.\" Not sure what the subject's subconscious mind is expressing. Just to try to understand a thing or two from a personal point of view: setting a FLAG can be seen as an act of labeling. Labeling carries with it a feeling of rigidity and absoluteness, and with the label of \"white,\" then \"black,\" \"gray,\" \"purple\" does not exist. \"black,\" \"gray,\" and \"purple\" no longer exist. Labeling has a kind of either/or, black or white, which draws a box for oneself and makes oneself lose more possibilities. But in reality, life has all kinds of possibilities, and these endless possibilities are what energize life. Perhaps our subconscious doesn't want to lose more possibilities. For example, when we say we \"never xxxx\", it will come out and say \"no, we can xxx\". Setting a goal can also be seen as setting a goal for ourselves. We work towards that goal. For example, if we set ourselves the goal of being the person who doesn't drop his keys, then we will inevitably spend more energy focusing on the keys, where they are, and whether or not they are safe. This sense of purpose drains our mental energy. Perhaps the subconscious mind doesn't feel that the goal is important enough to put energy into it, so it just breaks it down so we don't have to focus on it. Very interesting question. Thanks to the subject.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 2555
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't have the courage to live, and I really hate myself why I gamble?",
        "description": "I lost 130,000 online, all borrowed on the borrowing platform, for no income I simply do not have the ability to pay back, sorry for my husband, sorry for my daughter, sorry for my family, and do not dare to let my family know, the family's condition is poor, I really hate myself, why so stupid? Why did you gamble? There is no way to forgive myself, I have written a good suicide note, to find a quiet place to self-determination, but I can not let go of my daughter, can not let go of the family, but I do not die what is the use? I don't deserve to be a wife, a mother, a daughter, in addition to death there is no better way, I hope to see the strangers, must stay away from gambling, gambling on the Internet is a pitfall, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Panic, Vulnerability and Tears",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, give you a warm hug, I'm glad that you are still willing to talk about this situation, first of all, I would like to say that although many people think that death is a solution, but in fact, death will not make things end, but rather is the beginning of something. In your case, you regret that you owe so much debt because of gambling and want to die, in fact, this kind of suicidal behavior is not remorse, but selfishness and avoidance, I don't know if you have ever thought that if you really do this, those people who collect debts will treat your family, and your family will have to go to carry your debt, a lot of things in fact, we don't want to think so complicated, it's our internal emotions and thoughts that make things become complicated. Emotions and thoughts make things complicated, the best way to make up for it is to be honest with your family about it, sincerely and deeply apologize, and try to beg for forgiveness from your family, and then try to find a way to make money to pay back the money, and even use your own experience to persuade people around you not to do this, rather than because of remorse, want to self-completion. I hope my answer can help you (\u30fb\u03c9\u30fb)\u30ce\u3002",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8466
       },
       {
        "question": "What will I do if one day I don't want to go on living?",
        "description": "Family and friendship seem meaningless to me, love is a luxury because I don't trust anyone, life is meaningless to me what should I do? Should I choose suicide or death as a better way to end my life?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Healing Methods, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "# Learn to believe in yourself if you don't believe in anyone. #Anyone in this world can be a passerby for you. #Love yourself is the most important thing, only you can save yourself, don't give up even if it's hard, it's your chance to grow, believe that you can do anything, be fearless. #Don't expect anyone to give you happiness, you have the ability to enjoy yourself. #Live for yourself for the rest of your life, experience it to the fullest and grow upwards; please don't live in other people's mouths, live as you like!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 6147
       },
       {
        "question": "After 7 years of knowing each other and 5 years of marriage, how can I tell if I still love my significant other?",
        "description": "My husband and I met in college, we have known each other for 7 years, and we have been married for just 5 years, and since something happened when I was pregnant and had a baby, some of my feelings for him changed, but I couldn't pinpoint it myself. We often argue, every time is a small thing, but I do not believe him, and not very much want to communicate with him to speak, he sent a message to me and I do not want to see the theory, directly deleted, I always feel that without him these things I will not be so sad, my life will be happier, I feel that I have become more than the previous to be cold-blooded some of the time, every time we argue in my head I have a bad thing before, I especially want to divorce! But we have children, and I don't want my children to become children of single-parent families, I myself grew up in an intact family, and I potentially feel that single-parent families will have a huge negative impact on a child's psychological growth. Do I really not love my husband or not? Do I really want a divorce or not?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Ideas, Divorce, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Parenthetically, seeing you confide and being able to understand how you feel, first of all, I give you a big hug. (\u25cf-\u25cf) Your confidences can see that your feelings towards your husband gradually change, which is actually normal. Every marriage goes through, a period of splendor, disillusionment, introspection, and enhancement. Love for seven years married for five years, by the previous love of the beautiful beautiful period has begun to step into the disillusionment period. We drew the parabola like that, now is exactly in the trough period. (\u0e07 -\u0300_-\u0301)\u0e07, we together through this trough period, marriage will enter a new state. What are the reasons for marriages to enter the trough, the disillusionment period?1. Doubt and mistrust between husband and wife. Especially if one partner always loves to rehash old scores, it is very hurtful to the relationship.2. Lack of proper and effective communication between them. For example, there is no consistency in communication or the wife is always nagging, which causes the husband to drift away. (\u0e07-\u0300_-\u0301)\u0e07 Marriage is the need for two people a lifetime of attentive management, couples get along with the first point, is mutual acceptance. Accept each other's imperfections, because we are all relatively independent of one another, we are also imperfect, all have this or that fault, there are such and such problems, if that only look at each other's shortcomings, seize each other's old problems do not let go, or only feel their own pay, that can only make themselves more and more painful. Respect for the differences between men and women personality differences, men and women brain structure, physical characteristics and so on are different, so in the way of doing things or thinking about the problem are not consistent, want to transfer a man's thinking to the same women as us thinking, it is impossible. Or a chronic to change into an acute, that is also impossible, because a person's character formation, is and he, the growing environment, the family of origin innate temperament. Let go of high expectations, we hope that their partner is a how how good people, we first need to think, we ourselves and whether he is the ideal state of the partner? The best gift you can give your children is a good marriage for your parents. If anyone in a marriage is in pain, it means that someone needs to change and change themselves. Divorce is not a solution to the problem, it's a cop out, being brave and facing and solving the problems in your family now is what matters. There is a very good saying, you haven't learned to swim yet, will you be happy in a different pool? If you feel that the other party neglects and you don't want to go home, you should think about it, is it that you give him too little love? Giving him too much blame? Home keeps him from getting love? (\u25cf-\u25cf) The third stage of marriage is introspection, reflecting on yourself, instead of staring at each other's shortcomings, looking for your own problems, when you understand the problems that you have, and changes occur, your marriage will smoothly enter into enter the fourth stage of enhancement, then you feel very happy.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner! After seven years of knowing each other and five years of marriage, something happened during pregnancy and child birth that destroyed your trust in the relationship and you may have been in pain. Afterwards, in the relationship, you began to close your heart, do not want to connect with each other, you think that if you hide like an ostrich, the pain away from you, the family will maintain a \"complete\", the child does not have to be a single-parent child, there will be no negative impact. However, when you are alone, the pain that you shut down together by shutting down your heart is still there, and it still disturbs you to the point of making you want to give up. Is that so? In your marriage relationship, an event occurs that is enough to destroy the relationship. Then, without either of you dealing with it effectively and communicating adequately (arguing is sometimes a form of communication), it was closed off as if it had never happened. However, the pain never goes away because of closure; instead, it keeps coming back to haunt you because it is not released. So, divorce may be a way for you to resolve the pain. But, divorce really resolves the matter, in your mind. At the same time, can divorce really solve the problem of emotional patterns that may be present in you? The answer is obviously no. At the same time, won't the state of your relationship like this without divorce have a negative impact on your children? The answer is also obvious. So, the crux of the matter is that you have not dealt with each other's feelings in that incident, nor have you addressed the essential issues in your relationship (something will happen, it must be mutual, it's been building up for a long time). First of all, it is recommended that you and your husband communicate openly and talk about the incident as well as each other's feelings. If it is difficult for both parties to establish communication at first, you can also find a professional family therapist to help you sort things out. Secondly, having painful emotions is bound to be a subject that needs growth. You can self-explore, so more than ten years, your relationship problems, your problems, his problems, reflect on it objectively. Especially explore your own problems, with awareness to see the inner emotional patterns, this part of the repair through, you can get a quality intimate relationship. Divorce will not solve your inner pain ~ self-growth is the solution ~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, you said you and your husband is the university when you met, know 7 years, married just 5 years, since the pregnancy and child birth after some things happened, some of your feelings for him changed, you often argue, every time is a small thing, but you already do not believe in him, and is not very much want to communicate with him to speak, he sends a message to the theory of you and you I you do not want to look at it, and directly deleted, your heart always feel that, without him these things you It will not be so sad, your life will be more happy, I you feel become more cold-blooded than before. See your description, especially heartbreaking you, you must have experienced a lot of life trivial things, and those things, each of which makes you especially sad. You said that every time you quarreled, the bad things in the past came to your mind, and you especially wanted to divorce, but you didn't want your child to become a child of a single-parent family, and you were afraid that a single-parent family would have a great negative impact on the child's psychological growth. You are really a responsible mom, and for that, you deserve the teacher's praise. I think you must be very painful and torn at present, so you ask, is it true that you don't love your husband anymore or not? Is it true that you want a divorce? Love the husband or not? You are college classmates, know each other for 7 years, must be love just when you have been married, by the trivial life wear and tear, hurt your heart, so you begin to doubt whether you love this person or not. Should we divorce? Surveys show that the happiest marriages have had at least 200 thoughts of divorce and 50 thoughts of strangling each other. How much you yearn for a happy life before marriage, how much you are disappointed with a messy life after marriage. And among these disappointments, getting married, getting pregnant, giving birth to a child, sitting in the womb, and raising a child from 0-3 years old concentrate the vast majority of conflicts in various family lives such as between husband and wife, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Because for a woman, this age is a key stage in the transition from a girl to a woman, and it can even be said that the most important things in a woman's life happen in these years. If a woman in this period, did not get enough spiritual and material support from the man, did not get the in-laws full recognition, our glass heart will be broken all over the place. Most of the so-called love before marriage is what we women imagine for ourselves, not what we really have. A man's greatest love and liking for a woman is to marry you, and the second is to pay you, that is to say, the evening's harvest added to your hands, if not these two, all the liking is his purpose, that is, he needs a wife, he needs you to give him a wife. What love? It's animalistic! A believe in love, a face to face reality, this is the man and the woman face love and marriage of different interpretations. So divorce or not, married to this man, or married to another man, if they will not love themselves, are not a change of soup. But no matter what, in the beginning, after all, is the heart, love each other, so no matter what kind of days, never doubt that you once loved, if you even doubt this, you later life is too desperate. It has been scientifically reported that women's brains are more compact, with denser cerebral nerves. In areas such as language and socialization, women's brains are significantly larger than men's and are located on both sides of the cerebral hemispheres, whereas men's are only on the left portion. There are also many physical aspects that women are clearly evolved much better than men. For example, flexibility of the body, sense of balance, ability to perceive things around them, and so on. It is clear that women are the one powerful species created by nature. So, women need to stand in the perspective of the superior, to have the ability to choose to forgive him, let bygones be bygones, face the reality, grasp the boundaries, do not fight, do not argue, do not expect, my parents I filial, your parents you filial, the child is mine, you help better, do not help I can also live a good life, try to see, he will have what change? Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the subject a warm hug. We have known each other for 7 years, married for 5 years, and then the right two people in such a long time, but also will certainly go through countless arguments and contradictions, and even want to look at the birth of boredom, turn against each other. But from the subject's expression, from the pregnancy and child birth happened some things, your feelings towards him changed, but then you are not sure, that shows that these things may not be any principle of the big things, probably are some trivial daily small things, let you have a distrust of his feelings. Trust rebuild it, is a difficult process, need two people together, to work hard to go, quietly find the crux of the problem, you have to go to the communication exchange. Instead of directly removing the avoidance. Maybe you need to adjust your communication style, try to express their own feelings and needs, rather than on his problems directly and his defense. You always feel in your heart that you might be happier without them and those things. Firing would be less annoying, but life is always like that, it's either this annoyance or that annoyance, it's about coming to terms with the annoyance. So isn't pinning your happiness on someone else giving it to you just like being led by someone else? What's more, who can take the responsibility of making others happy? Probably unhappiness also comes from wanting everything to go the way we want it to go. The status quo of the difficult life, first let yourself calm and peaceful, can not bring duties and insurance communication exchange, is not better? Remember to finally ask if you really do not love you? Husband is not really want to divorce? Answer it, must also need you to be quiet to comply with their inner feelings and thoughts. On my own judgment, since asked such a question, that should still love your husband, and the heart is not really want to divorce.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 17493
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the reason for the automatic depression as soon as I have free time in the middle of the day?",
        "description": "As soon as the free time at noon, or business trips drifting on the road, will enter a state of depression, always listening to songs similar to ballads lost love, and then will miss a certain person miss some things, may not be able to be specific to a certain person, but it is the feeling of longing. Personally, I think it has something to do with the fact that I was a left-behind child during my childhood, and I was sent away when I was small, and since I was a child, I've been thinking about my parents every day in a different place to the point of tears. I think it's the aftermath of that. So much so that I am often low and depressed",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Somatic Reactions, Disease Diagnosis, Behavioral Disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello~~~ give the subject a warm hug, from the subject's description, I can feel the subject in the alone may feel the loneliness, which also seems to be related to the subject's childhood, alone in the environment may be in the subject's mind with the \"left behind\", \"loneliness\" associated, so once in such an environment, the subject will involuntarily substituting into the former self very understand the subject such a mood, however, I think in such moods and environments, the subject will not be in the former self. Therefore, once in such an environment, the subject can't help but feel like the former self. I understand very well the subject's feelings, however, I think, in such a mood and environment, listening to some ballads and songs about lost love may increase our sadness, so that the sadness in the lyrics and our emotions are once again \"combined\" with each other. \"Therefore, we might as well try to slowly influence our mood by changing our physical environment: for example, changing sad songs to happier ones, so that a more pleasant atmosphere surrounds and influences us. On the other hand, there are many positive, happy and warm things in our life waiting for us to discover, focusing more on these aspects may slowly make up for what we have missed in the past, and slowly discover the positive side of life.",
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        "questionID": 7246
       },
       {
        "question": "Widowed parenting, no one to talk to about your troubles, and in a grumpy mood?",
        "description": "Trying to control my emotions just can't be controlled, it's so painful. Widowed parenting, no one to talk about the trouble, can only fight alone! My husband doesn't care, and I've communicated with him many times to no avail, so I'm really powerless. So my mood is getting worse and worse, I complain and lose my temper every day, which really affects my children badly! It's just like when I was a kid, somehow suffering from my parents' bad moods for no reason, and I hated my mom for always taking it out on me. Love to complain and not forgiving enough! Now I'm living like her again, being catty to my husband, not tolerant enough, and loving to lose my temper. Obviously I hate looks the most, but when I grew up I became my mother's way of living and looking like me, and the books I read were in vain. If I don't change, my child will become the next me. But how do I start to change? Every time I want to make up my mind to change, I am faced with my husband's playfulness, playing games, not worrying, not caring about the kids ...... really going crazy and hysterical ...... so so irritable. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Healing Methods, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello the owner of the state is really crazy, a person with children, it is not easy, the husband obviously in but refused to help, angry husband angry at themselves. Also resent the parents did not treat themselves well. Raising children is also raising ourselves. And when the child grows up, it triggers memories that we once suppressed deep inside, which we may have forgotten, but will be stimulated when we raise the child. The owner says that what happened to him when he was a child seems to be repeating itself now in the way his parents treat their children, which is called intergenerational transmission in psychology. How to be able to cut these off, suggests: 1, the owner has realized is a good start. 2, go to grow yourself, be aware of your own emotions, is the child is annoying, or those annoyance from their own internal experience. Sometimes a thing in our body to stimulate the emotion is one point, may be because of the experience of once in the owner of the body is five points, and this five points will be four points is your own, one point is the child's. 3, in fact, it is easy to say, but do it is really difficult, I am also a mother also experienced your state, the family of origin is also very bad, it is very painful really very painful, pain before wanting to change, go! 4, and the husband to talk about! Their own feelings need to talk about their own vulnerability do not blame. Because accusations will only drive away a person, show weakness may also be a way. 5, if you can keep throwing tantrums and venting, your husband to catch, then he may be the one who can carry you once the pain of the people, and so you venting can think about clearing up their own time, may be able to deal with the relationship with children. 6, if it is very difficult, the family of origin and the children and the husband are all pressurized by their own want to turn around is not easy, you can find professional help, you can be a good choice, and you will be able to get help. If it's hard and your family of origin and kids and husband are all pressing on you and you want to turn it around on your own, it's really not easy, you can get professional help. Good luck.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, after reading your detailed account, I deeply feel the \"widowed parenting\" has brought you great pressure and powerlessness, and the communication with the husband who does not care about the child is always useless, has always been only by you alone to resist the pressure of parenting, I want to say to you first, it's really not easy, hard for you! I want to give you a warm hug first. Parenting itself is a very complex task, and your husband, also as an important half of the marital relationship, but \"play, play games, do not worry about the children do not care about\", \"and he communicated with him many times to no avail\". ...... did not take up his share of responsibility, not only in the reality of the level, but also in the psychological level, have given you great pressure, therefore, you feel emotional, feel very irritable, want to complain, want to lose your temper ...... These are reasonable, very normal reaction. The reason for this is that you will not be able to get the feedback you need. It is because you never get the feedback you need that you keep trying to express it through words, through behavior, through emotions. But I sense that you are a mother who cares about your children and your family, and that is why you care so much about the impact of your emotions on your children, and have analyzed your family of origin, your mother, in a very introspective way. You feel that you have \"lived like her\" and you don't want your child to follow in her footsteps. It is true that one's behavior is influenced by one's family of origin, and one may unconsciously \"compulsively repeat\" behaviors similar to those of one's parents. However, we also need to know that we are not only influenced by our family of origin, but our present and future are more determined by ourselves. If we are aware of this, and if we make the \"unconscious conscious\", we can actually make the choices we want to make. It is not the \"past\" that determines your future, it is your \"purpose\", what you care about your family and children. When I read that you think you are \"calculating, insufficiently tolerant, and angry with your husband\", I see a diligent self-reflective you instead. In fact, I think that your emotions and tantrums are all justifiable reactions, and I hope you can give yourself more acceptance and tolerance. In addition, and her husband many times communication failed, in addition to the subjective reasons, perhaps the way of communication is worth exploring the place, how to communicate, how to express emotions more appropriately, how to mobilize the other side of the positive way to mobilize each other's enthusiasm ...... These are all can slowly feel the place. (Go for it:).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the subject's description, I felt your anxiety, worry, self-blame, helplessness, to give you a warm hug. Widowed parenting, no one to talk about the trouble, a lot of things can only fight alone, the body and mind must be very tired, favoring the husband does not worry, even if you can listen to you, agree to understand your hard work, the emotions may have an outlet, not always complaining, tantrums and then blaming yourself. The subject attributed to the small time mom love to take your temper, complain, let you bear their bad temper, indeed there will be the reason in this regard, some negative emotions are suppressed, the slightest touch will explode out, hurt people hurt themselves. That is now to do is to let negative emotions have cathartic outlet, reasonable decompression. The subject needs to pay more attention to their own body and mind, so that they are tired from the tedious housework, with children in the air, leave some time to arrange for themselves to let their minds and bodies relax and enjoy things, you can participate in some of their favorite group activities, or fitness, yoga and so on. For the husband's playfulness, playing games, do not pay attention to the child, perhaps you take charge of everything personally, he did not rest assured that the reason in it, if so may learn to let go, to give him the opportunity to take responsibility. Change your communication style, express your feelings without accusations and complaints, praise and encouragement, and let your child play more with his father.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1557
       },
       {
        "question": "What's wrong with me that I feel like an apathetic person with finely tuned feelings?",
        "description": "Junior high school when the best for me grandmother and grandfather died one after another, I know I should show very sad so I cried more than pain, but what I thought in my heart is this time the language weekly journal have material to write, sixth grade and boys early love, the first love is thinking about how to get more benefits from each other, after each boyfriend, I am not really like, just to get benefits to get together, I've never I have never truly loved anyone, I think I'm too strange and too cold, feelings are treated like a business finely calculated ...... What's wrong with me, I was born this way!",
        "keywords": "Growth, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner,1 First of all, I'm sorry to say that in order to better explain your situation, I need to give you a label: narcissistic personality disorder. According to modern object relations theory, people with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by \"self as object\". They are unable to project feelings of love, care, and concern onto other people and things, but instead internalize them and turn them into a form of egoism. Such a personality can arise because, in their early years, they have experienced traumas in interpersonal relationships, such as prolonged separation from their parents, poor parental relationships, or parents who were too rough or too spoiled in their attitudes, and so on. Such experiences make them [feel safe and justified in loving themselves].2 But, with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the label only goes halfway for you. I can feel your pain and anguish, and, rather than joy, this state brings you annoyance. The process of forming your personality should not have been a pleasant experience, and the fact that grandma and grandpa were the best for you is an indirect indication of the absence of your parents at a crucial moment in your life. Your egoism is for your own [protection], but your protection is not complete, you don't get the [security] you want. You say that you were not attracted to your romantic partner, but were just in a position to take advantage of him. Perhaps in that moment, as soon as a person expressed good feelings for you, you clung to them. You didn't realize this: that [our own thoughts are really important], that we don't need to be completely objective, that we can be ourselves. But when it comes to being with people, you're probably in a state of tightness and can't bring yourself to let down your defenses.3 If that's the case, the past is the past and can't be changed. But we can do what we can for our present and our future.4 Our brains are selective in how they process and connect information, and everyone has their own way of associating things. Perhaps you have been accustomed to, in the face of a thing a person, first from the [God's perspective] to see it, observe, analyze, and finally define, deduce conclusions. This habit makes you [no sense of participation], feel indifferent and objective. When something happens that is directed at you, you are immediately in a state of stress, turning on your defense mode and offering up this set of weapons.5 The first thing you need to do is to make an observation about your habit. The fact that you have asked this question and described yourself in detail means that you have already made some observations about yourself, but you need to go further and [feel your tension and wariness]. For example, when you read what I have written, you subconsciously analyze my purpose and attempts, thinking that I am trying to get your bounty. Yes, that is indeed one of my purposes. But my deeper purpose is to use what I have learned to bring you help and to consolidate my body of knowledge.6 Secondly, after observing your own behavior for a while, you may think, \"Why is this person named \"I\" so strange? By asking this question, you should have observed yourself for a period of time and have noticed how strange you are. If you observe your own stress pattern, this strange feeling will be more obvious - why every moment I am on the defense of others, calculating in my brain, which is very tiring and creates problems in our interpersonal interactions. Most importantly, we don't get the security we want in this way. If you realize this and understand what you really want, you will want to make change yourself. Of course, if that's fine with you, then being yourself is also an option. There is no optimal choice in the world; remember that how you feel is most important.7 If you want to make a change, you can use your brain's habit pathways to build new associations. The building of associations requires deliberate training, and we can practice this on a regular basis. For example, let's say that you think that you, yourself, have no love for the person you used to be in love with. So, would you say yes to everyone who asked you for love? Think of the sweetness when you were together, and think of the anger and sadness when you broke up. Another example: you think that when your grandma and grandpa died, all you thought about was weekly fodder. You can go through your weekly journal and see if you wrote anything, and I think you probably didn't. Because you were probably just consoling yourself and giving yourself a reason to be less sad. The fact that your favorite person left you still makes it hard, doesn't it?8 When you replace the habit of indifference with new associations, you'll feel more engaged, and more confident about building new relationships, too.9 Finally, when you fall in love, even ordinary people become extraordinary in your eyes. Good luck finding happiness and building inner security.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Instead of indifference, we know what we want. In the subject's heart, he has a clearer perception of himself and others, and also believes that only he is the one who is most worthy of reliance, so most of the time when he gets along with other people, he uses benefits as a quid pro quo. For example, with our exes, we know what we can get from them, and we also know when we should leave, so we have not suffered from love wounds in our relationships. Even at a marriageable age, we don't feel that we have to get married, especially since we have our own thoughts about children and future families. In fact, the idea of the subject in the first-tier cities is very easy to accept, especially for many more independent women, they understand their own life and goals, so they will live more freely. And in some smaller places for marriage and children are the ideas of the older generation, especially when a man is married to a woman is married to this kind of thing, if you don't get married and don't have children is to be talked about. Therefore, we just need to understand what they married in the end, whether they will make changes and sacrifices for the future of the family, and then have their own choices, the subject is just a different way of life. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "To add, suddenly sent these feelings because my parents began to urge me to go on a blind date, I'm tired of talking to a strange and mediocre man to fall in love with this thing, if I finally have to get married that will certainly be forced by life, I'm 25 years old, but I have already seen through the so-called marriage is just a common people to support each other, I feel that this kind of marriage is very disgusting, as if like the life of the head down like, and I am very enjoyable to the state of single! I feel that as long as I can support myself, what's the point of being single for the rest of my life? But my parents think it's a shame for them not to get married when they're older, and no one will support me when I'm old. I don't think it's reliable to raise children for old age, and I think it's better to save up so much money for raising children, and then arrange for myself to be placed in a high-class nursing home when I'm old, isn't it? Isn't real money better than relying on nebulous relationships? I don't think I will fall in love with an ordinary man, but because I am also just an ordinary woman, so my level can only be exposed to mediocre and boring ordinary men, I have this sober cognizance myself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4045
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I'm a 20 year old female and I've been running into irresponsible peers at work lately?",
        "description": "Obviously scheduled work, promised quickly but didn't follow through at all, had important things to do the next day but still did a mess and still happy to shower and listen to songs and apply face masks at 8pm or so. I don't know what to do about it (I promise).",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflict, coworkers",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello, hug you ah ~ read your description, you feel very incredibly lazy attitude of their partners, feel her laid-back mentality and your nervousness in stark contrast, you do not quite agree with her irresponsible attitude, such a companion did not help to share your workload, so you feel that the progress of your work has not made any change, really understand your helplessness ah. According to your description of \"clearly arranged work, promised quickly but did not implement it at all\", if the nature of your work has a very strict competitive relationship, this cooperation between the impact of your work performance and wages, then the solution to this problem is to change the companion. Because your personalities and values are very different, usually when you play together may not feel there is a big gap, but as soon as it comes to cooperation to do practical things, the contradictions and gaps between you will be exposed. Maybe you can feel a gap when you first enter the society, some people are very serious and responsible, some people are not interested in anything, but you can work in the same post, and even in a high position. This is because the society is very inclusive, all kinds of different personalities and values of people can survive in this society, not because we do not understand and our values are different from the people will not allow him to exist. So we slowly meet more people and things that we can't understand, and perhaps this is the necessary process of recognizing the world. Suggest that you can have a conversation with your companion according to the actual situation of their work, to understand her ideas, first need to put aside prejudice communication, if you find that she is indeed an irresponsible companion, you can choose to change, communication can not be forced to communicate without having to communicate.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3968
       },
       {
        "question": "I've been planning to take the public exams recently and my roommate is preparing for it, how do I feel about the competitors around me?",
        "description": "Recently, I plan to take the public examination, I found that my roommate is preparing, I'm so afraid that we all apply for the same post together, and better than me, I'm so nervous, I know I'm narrow-minded, but what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, housemates and classmates, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "With competition comes pressure, and with pressure comes progress. First of all, we have to understand one thing, in general, the number of civil service positions are limited to the number of applicants, if the number of applicants is not enough, it is likely that the position will be canceled, so in addition to their own housemates, we will also meet a lot of competitors, and our biggest enemy is not the people around us, but our own. This is like the college entrance examination in the beginning, the title of the year when the college entrance examination whether also had a similar mood? Later on, how did we stand out from the many competitors? In fact, the civil service examination is also the same, do not be afraid of opponents too strong, only in this way we can urge their own progress, we can not determine the strength of the opponents how, but can determine their own ability. Secondly, the most important thing is to test the civil service is to test the mentality, on the written test, we have been tested for so many years, I believe that for the written test questions have been accustomed to the main, and every year the test of those questions have a certain range, so we can do is practice makes perfect, when we do something to the extreme, and how can it not be successful it? But for the interview, is the test of a person's comprehensive ability, if we are not confident enough, and how can we get the interviewer's recognition? Finally do not be afraid of failure, if the civil service is so easy, people around us have already been on the test, but the fact is that only a small number of people can be on the test, so we want to be one of them, necessarily need to pay more efforts, our opponent is ourselves, if we even can not overcome themselves, and how to compete with other opponents? The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Read the owner's description, the owner may be too sensitive, because you are preparing for the civil service examination, and then it happens that your roommate also has this idea and is preparing, I rather think that this is quite good, because a person to study is relatively boring, no one to supervise, and sometimes study study will be easy to slacken off, or suddenly one day there is no motivation. And when there are the same type of people around, and also your roommate, but can play a mutual supervision and common learning purposes, so we should not take him as their \"enemy\". To take a step back, the civil service examination of thousands of people, you and your roommate is only two of the millions of people, and who is your biggest competitor? If you ask me, it should be yourself. Only when you overcome yourself and believe in yourself can you have a good result. Listen to you say that your roommate is better than you, quite good ah, there is a good person around, can be used as a role model for learning, if they are preparing for the same public service, then you can also ask for advice, learn from each other. Therefore, the owner of the building you do not worry too much, in front of us do not care too much about these things, we should cherish the present, and ultimately can not be examined or need to look at your own efforts to a few parts, do a few parts of the heart. I'm sure you'll be able to do it, but I'm sure you'll be able to do it, too.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There can never be a certain benefit in the world that only you know about and only you want. If you only focus on the one thing that benefits you the most, there is bound to be a lot of competition that comes along with it. Instead of that, it's better to look at what you're best at. Do what has pure passion and interest. Doing what you do best will have the least amount of competition because everyone is good at something different and you will be especially focused and superhumanly inspired in your area of passion.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "On the same starting line, we are all going through the same thing, so this kind of worry and concern you have chosen is normal, everyone will have such concerns and worries, not narrow-minded, it is a psychological state that everyone will have. But the difference lies in whether you will let this kind of psychology interfere with your study, interfere with your relationship with your classmates and roommates, and whether there is an impact on your state of life. If it does, then it's time to pay attention to it, and it's time to get help from a counselor! You can follow me to consult me, I hope to help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20559
       },
       {
        "question": "At 30, why is it harder to feel happy the older you get?",
        "description": "The triviality of life, occupation, family, gradually forget their own preferences. Once gathered together friends also because of their respective families, do not get together, life in addition to work is around the family children.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Self-Growth, Self-Acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! After reading your description, I have a certain understanding of the question you want to ask, here, also give you a four-dimensional space hug. The situation you described in the description, in fact, is a common phenomenon in real life. Especially for women who have given birth to a child, because they have to take care of the child at home, so at that time women are disconnected from society. In addition, they do not have a job. Therefore, women will think a lot during that period of time, and may have a sense of powerlessness about the future, which will relatively reduce the happiness. Plus, different people have different things to do at this stage, so the older you get, the less people you'll find around you, because they have their own things to do, so the days when you can get together are few and far between. Of course, from my point of view, the child is not your everything, you still have an independent mind, you can also do what you like to do, do not confine yourself to the child's surroundings, so that you in the child, are a better choice, after all, everyone needs their own private space. The thing about being happy is simple to say the least. After all, there are many things that can make us happy, the key is to have a good state of mind, but there are times when you are overwhelmed by the trivialities of life, and these troubles can not be reasonably solved, happiness will naturally be farther and farther away from you. Here, I also summarized a few ways to help you alleviate your current situation. (1) Learn to divert their attention, can be to read a book, can also be to learn a thing they are interested in, to a certain extent can be happy. (2) leisure time, you can ask friends to come out to chat, friendship, do not always stay at home. After all, a change of environment is better for us to find happiness. (3) Positive suggestions to yourself, focus on seeing your own strengths, and at the same time, avoid comparing yourself with others. (4) Keep a calm mind, not too sad, not too happy. (5) Happiness is something you have to learn to make for yourself, such as eating something you like to eat, watching a movie you like to watch, or listening to a song that interests you. The world and I love you good luck \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject: Hello! I can understand your frustration. When you get married and start a family, your life changes dramatically, your personal space shrinks, and satisfying your family becomes a major part of your life. It's just that life is like that, one stage at a time. Each stage has its difficulties and its joys. If you feel more annoyed than happy, more lost than gained at a certain stage, it may mean that you have not yet seen the panorama of that stage, and have not yet seen and felt its joys. Even though this may be the case, don't be in a hurry. Don't be too attached or longing for the morning, evening, and night scenes beyond your present stage, but look and seek out happy companions who are in the same stage as you are, perhaps you need to see and believe in the fact that you may have happiness in your present stage from such companions, and find out what is right and wrong with these happy factors that exist only in your present stage and that may be in your favor, so that perhaps you may see the beauty of the stage as well, and gain something out of it. And then perhaps you will be able to see the beauty of this stage as well, and gain something from it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "As people get older, they demand more and more material things. The most important thing is the wrong three views, will destroy our concept of right and wrong. For example, nowadays people will say, whether there is a house ah whether there is a car ah whether there is a deposit, and will also say that this is the standard ah. It's true that it's standard, but you can't take it for granted. When you take it for granted, your desires will continue to expand, and you will not be able to satisfy yourself, so of course it will be difficult to be happy. A bad social climate can also fuel our selfish desires, and when acquiring is programmed to be justified, how much you get is not enough. To make your life something to look forward to and aspire to, learn to delay enjoyment appropriately. Learn to enjoy the thrill of pleasure on its way to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16894
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the point of counseling when you have been struggling with depression for two years?",
        "description": "I don't understand the significance of heart counseling, two years have been struggling with depression, struggling, the counselor said the most words is what? It seems that every time I said, she used Morita therapy on me to let nature take its course? From the initial torment struggle do not want to live to now have no power to struggle to also do not want to live, is it progress or regression?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From my understanding, the meaning of counseling is that the counselor accompanies the visitor to face the difficulties in life, provides unconditional positive attention and support, and enables the visitor to find his/her own strengths and resources to face the difficulties as well as to achieve personality growth. In other words, the ultimate goal of counseling is for the visitor to be independent, not dependent on the counselor. You've been in counseling for two years for depression, but it seems that you haven't made much progress in terms of your status, so you're skeptical and unsure about the counselor and the counseling. On the one hand, it is true that depression is a condition that requires long-term companionship, so the counseling time will be longer overall; on the other hand, your counselor has been letting you talk, and perhaps he has taken a counseling approach that is centered on you, and more on supporting you through your confidences and his listening. I can't say that this approach is not effective, depressed people need to be supported, but after two years, maybe this approach is not very effective for you. That's why you have developed the above doubts. I would suggest you to try to find a counselor of a different school of thought and see if there is one for you. Because different schools of counselors his counseling assumptions are not the same, then take a different approach, perhaps the key to your depression needs another suitable key to open. In our usual work, we also received many depression patients, some are severe. But then also cured. On the one hand, follow the doctor's advice to take medication to take medication, and secondly, have the will to treat actively go to psychological counseling. With the combination of these two aspects, there is definitely hope. I am a family therapy counselor, and in my opinion, there are many factors that contribute to a person's depression. But everyone has an initial environmental factor that has the greatest impact, and that is the family. Patterns of interaction in the family, parenting styles, etc., basically have a big impact, so it's at that level that a big part of it can go away and be addressed. Specializing in the use of cards, dolls and other small objects for the precise presentation and transformation of cases, to share with you the knowledge of psychology, welcome to pay attention to, have questions can be private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, depression is all about intolerance of hurting others and attacking oneself inwardly. It is easy to see this in counseling for depression, where the source of the visitor's pain, many times, is the aggression directed at themselves. This inward attack characterizes their inability to do anything well, and what they don't do well in turn becomes a source of self-blame for their guilt. I don't understand the point of heart counseling, two years of struggling and agonizing with depression. It means that you have been attacking depression and not accepting it for two years, which in fact means that you are attacking yourself and aggravating the pain caused by depression. You may think, I've been counseling all this time, I've been working on it, but why is it still like this, nothing has changed. It's like falling into a quagmire, the struggle and struggle will only get you deeper and deeper into it. One direction of counseling is acceptance, learning to see yourself as you are, accepting yourself as you are in depression, which means not judging, not blaming, just seeing your struggles, seeing your thoughts, but knowing that there is no good or bad, it's just the way you are. From the initial tormenting struggle of not wanting to live to now being powerless to struggle to not wanting to live either, is that progress or regression. No change does not mean no change. Many people can keep the status quo unchanged, has exhausted all the strength, you can see that you have not become bad, is their own biggest change and efforts, learn to affirm themselves. It is because you feel that you are not good enough now, so you do not accept yourself, you want to try to change, but you can not change, you feel bad, bad, vicious circle. This also shows that you can't accept yourself yet, when you can accept yourself as bad, it's not good enough to attack yourself as bad, it's good enough. Remember, you are good enough, you don't have to be better to be good enough. Learn to see your goodness, be aware of yourself, and not be carried away by your attacks.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, I am worried for you to see that you are still struggling and suffering from the symptoms of depression. I don't know much about Morita therapy, I learned cognitive behavioral therapy myself, and the best psychological treatment for depression in hospitals at home and abroad is cognitive behavioral therapy. The so-called cognitive-behavioral therapy, one is cognitive change, one is behavioral activation. Depression is a mental illness, first of all, we have a lot of distorted cognition, need to go to correct his automatic thinking, middle beliefs and core beliefs. For example, there is no way to recover, all counseling methods are useless to me, I am incompetent, unlovable, the world is dangerous, no one else can help me, and so on. In addition, depressed patients will also have some, such as sleep disorders, anxiety, procrastination and other co-morbid symptoms, and it's very important to motivate them to change their behavior while making cognitive changes. I see that you have a strong determination to heal, which is very good. The main body of counseling is you, as long as your motivation is strong enough, I believe that together with the help of the counselor, you will be able to get out of depression.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2383
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I mediate this mentality when my mother wasn't well before and had persistent fears?",
        "description": "My mother had not been well for a couple of months before (and had not been checked out), and then she was checked out afterward and nothing was too wrong. At the time, I thought the worst and panicked so much that I couldn't sleep at night and was scared. Now I occasionally have insomnia or think the worst when I don't feel well. It's very hard to hear about people being sick and raising money in the circle of friends for medical treatment, etc. I really don't know how to reconcile this kind of mentality, and when I get anxious, I think about how bad emotions are not conducive to good health, and then I get sad all over again.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Mood Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, your mother is not well and you are feeling panicky and anxious. Our mothers are the people we are closer to, and we are afraid that our children want to raise their children without their parents, so how can we minimize this worry? First of all, we have to understand that old age, sickness and death are beyond our control, all we have to do is to be prepared when something bad happens. It is possible that our mother's health is not very good and that one day she may become seriously ill. Our mother's health will not get better in our anxiety, it will only get better in our careful care and attention. So take care of your mother in general and take time to see her more often. Secondly anxiety can have an effect on the body, but we also need to allow ourselves to be anxious once in a while, to face up to it and see the problem behind it. When you are anxious about your mother's illness, are you worried about what she can do physically, or are you worried that you are not capable of coping? If it's the latter, then it's good to think about how you can cope. Bless you and cheers!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20927
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if my family is poor, resulting in low self-esteem?",
        "description": "The family is relatively poor especially low self-esteem go out and do not dare to buy milk tea snacks can not help to earn money to see other people's pocket money a lot to go out to casually buy especially envious how to do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Expressing Emotions, Guilt and Shame, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. - Hi! I understand your situation, I'm in the same situation, I don't dare to eat, I don't dare to drink, I'm especially tight. It's normal to envy others who spend whatever they want and are not afraid of running out of money. I was low self-esteem, sensitive, insecure, always thought I had a psychological problem, and then I began to study psychology. 2017 contact, this year only got better. I also have the feeling that my life is lowly to the dust, while others live a life of flavor, especially envious, and also envious of others in the interpersonal fluent while I am constricted. But what's the point? It is always not ours. In fact, low self-esteem is that we realize the problem, we can change through later learning, really. To get rid of the low self-esteem that develops due to family circumstances first of all, you have to recognize yourself correctly. Although their own growth from the family, they grow up, have their own work, there is an independent thought and behavior, you are all by your own choices, and you are the first to determine the direction of your life. Therefore, the degree of your efforts will ultimately show your standard of living. Secondly, learn to de-stress yourself. To find the root cause of their own unsuccessful. Don't lead everything to your family's situation. To know the history of the grassroots as well as the king and emperor, and the name of the loud, Abraham Lincoln, Tim Cook, Li Jiacheng, Jack Ma, Chen Lihua ......, they rely on is not the family, parents, they rely on all of their own. Third, give yourself a variety of encouragement and positive hints. When they have some achievements, they have to give themselves positive, positive encouragement, instead of comparing with others, so that they are always affected by negative emotions. So that your self-confidence will increase, and your optimistic mindset will allow you to do things with half the effort. Fourth, the use of compensation to transcend their sense of inferiority. Psychologists through a large number of studies found that often people's strong sense of inferiority can make their own outstanding development in other areas. It is also referred to in psychology as the \"compensatory effect\". It is through the outstanding development of compensation, the feeling of low self-esteem into self-improvement of a kind of motivation, so that they work harder, more diligent. In life, many people have become exceptional through this compensatory struggle. Think of the deaf Beethoven, think of the late eye blind Monet, think of Helen Keller ...... family, parents, people in this life, there is no choice. But we can choose the road we walk under our feet. We have no reason to complain about them and feel inferior for them. What we should have is appreciation, gratitude. Lastly, improve the connotation. A person's connotation is actually more valuable than the appearance, read more, learn more, see more people, do more things, one day you will find that you are actually not bad, and will become more and more confident, low self-esteem brings you only negative emotions, not only can not help you what, but also on you to cause a negative impact, so hold your head up, a little bit of a better mindset, everything should be thought of as a good side of the family has a difficult to read the scripture, you You are envious of others at the same time, there must also be someone in the envy of you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear friend! \ufe0fInferiority complex is human nature. Though your people are weak in themselves. When we face nature, powerful creatures and unpredictable future. We then consciously feel small and powerless. This can make us feel inferior. \ufe0fSecondly in our upbringing, we may be subjected to wrong parenting styles from our family of origin. Wrong parenting styles from our parents may also make us feel low self-esteem. Then there's also the low self-esteem of not being as good as others, like you said, because your family is particularly poor. \ufe0f Of course there are other reasons, some people have low self-esteem because of their appearance, some because of their family origin, some. Inferiority complex because of physical disability, inferiority complex because they are not as intelligent as others, etc etc. \ufe0f It's safe to say that everyone has low self-esteem, just at different points. I myself have had low self-esteem because of my looks, and low self-esteem because my family is poor like yours. So I understand this feeling of yours, seeing other people can buy whatever they want while they can only suppress their desires with their eyes. \ufe0f I don't know if you are a student now or you are already in the workforce? Yes, we feel inferior because we don't have money. So can this situation be changed? Because you don't have a signature now, can you allow yourself to create wealth in the future. I think it can be changed, so let's say we accept that our current self has no money, but we can make ourselves rich. \ufe0f Take that idea and then think about what you need to do right now to make money. Do you need to build up your knowledge, or do you need to pick up some skills? Put your goals into action every step of the way . I think you can do something about it in less than a year. I think it won't take long for you to be like others this year. You can buy as much milk tea as you want. \ufe0fJapan can be a place where people get depressed and wallow in their low self-esteem, but there are some people who go beyond that and succeed like never before. I\ufe0f recommend reading a book called Inferiority and Beyond. His author is called Adler, a famous psychologist, who has spent his life explaining what it means to have low self-esteem and go beyond. \ufe0f I hope this friend can see the way forward in the future amongst the present dilemma and take action with it. I hope my answer you're useful to you. Your friend Ran!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The subject, hello, hug you ah ~ according to your description of \"see others go out and can casually buy special envy\", in fact, especially understand your envy for this kind of can casually consume, perhaps a lot of people as a child's dream is to grow up to be able to casually \"buy buy buy buy, can't afford to buy things as a child grow up casually buy\", although this idea to grow up will realize that it is unrealistic, but I still think this idea is very cute and childish. Buy\", although this idea to grow up will realize that unrealistic, but I still think that this idea is very cute and childish, so I still hope that you do not give yourself too much pressure because of this matter, oh, as it is a childish wish it ~ if you are still young, no job opportunities, I suggest that you first time and energy into the learning, we are At each age to do the right thing, in line with the development of the law of nature. At this time we can cultivate our own ability, accumulate our own knowledge and experience, and pave the way for you to find a job later to realize the value. After you develop your own ability, you can consider all your resources: such as knowledge, ideas and time to realize, do some meaningful part-time work, to realize their own value, so that not only can get paid but also can enhance the sense of self-efficacy. According to your description, \"I don't dare to go out and buy snacks and milk tea\", in fact, these things are not necessities, on the contrary, snacks and milk tea don't provide us with essential nutrients, even if we don't eat these things, we won't miss out on the nutrients our body must have. So I hope you can combine your own conditions to buy these things.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, it's not your fault that your family is poor and can't buy snacks, what I see is a poor child, others have snacks to eat, they can only look on with bated breath, which in itself is worth the heartache. Embrace that child who has not been satisfied, buy yourself a lollipop if you can't buy expensive snacks, comfort that wounded inner child, it's not his fault he's poor, he deserves the best as much as anyone else, it's just that his parents can't afford to give it to him right now. When he grows up, he can make more money to make up for all the things he's not getting. You also mention in there that you can't help make money, as if you have a self-loathing for yourself. What I'm trying to say is to let go of that self-blame and be there for and love your inner child, see him for who he is, see his pity, and be there for him.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5376
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently, my husband and I always fight over small things and I'm very depressed, what should I do?",
        "description": "My husband and I have been married for more than 10 years, he is an only child, has a regular job, I work part-time, we have a daughter in junior high school. He is introverted and doesn't like to talk. I am more talkative. He doesn't like to worry about things big and small at home, and I make most of the decisions. My daughter's character is especially like my husband, do not like to talk, but also particularly stubborn. Now she is in the rebellious period, sometimes, especially angry. I'm studying psychology for my daughter, and I really can't help it. When I got married, I lived with my mother-in-law's family, and my mother-in-law and I have always had a good relationship. My mother-in-law loved to talk and laugh. But last year, my mother-in-law passed away due to illness, and I was sad that the person I could talk to was gone. My husband and I used to not fight too much, but lately I don't know what happened, but we always fight over small things. He won't take the initiative to make up with me, he always defends himself, and he is a bit stingy with money, and he can't cajole people, and sometimes he sees things in a different way. So, slowly I realized that I have no common language with him more and more. In fact, he also has advantages: family, cooking, do not smoke and do not drink. But sometimes I just can't figure it out, the future of the day just like this muddled life?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Marriage Concepts, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You're studying psychology on your own, so it's clear that you're a bit of a very motivated person. Have you realized that your family is entering a new stage? The departure of your mother-in-law last year must have brought some new influences to your family. This impact led to the original relatively stable some of the relationship, now, there are some changes, in the change may be your emotions will be stronger, at this time, it is presented in the way of quarrel. You pay attention to analyze the trigger of each quarrel, you will find some patterns, then, you do some adjustments, should get through.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 3527
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you transition yourself at 28 years old who is experiencing cold violence and being divorced with a one year old?",
        "description": "How can I regulate my emotions knowing that the pain will always pass and that I have plans to live a good life in the future, but at the moment it's really painful?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Divorce, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The owner, hello ~ ~ ~ ~ first to the owner of a hug, the turmoil of the marriage means the double turmoil of feelings and life, the owner is a strong mother, it can be seen to be positive, just now feel difficult to know how to dissolve, through such a change, difficult is normal ah. Choose some appropriate way to vent pressure, think back to the owner of their own high school to face the exams over the time, if you feel stressed, feel tired, is to use what way to entertain and relieve their inner pressure? Can now to family and friends to confide in their own present exhaustion, put their own moods out, even if you can not get the substance of the help, but also can dog get psychological comfort and support, will feel easier. You can also choose to read a book, focus on work, focus on the child and other methods of diversion, seriously to do something else, the inner will not be for these uncomfortable things to spend energy. Another suggestion is that if it is really difficult, do not want to communicate with others do not want to talk, then rest, do not force yourself to do these things, a good night's sleep, the matter at hand to deal with, do not talk about it is okay, friends will give understanding.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21366
       },
       {
        "question": "Easily swayed emotionally by the weather and can't control being down when it's cloudy?",
        "description": "Whenever there is a change in the weather, I especially don't like foggy days, I feel like the whole world is shrouded in uncertainty, my mood is depressed to the point of no return, and I start to feel uninspired and low. Although I know I can't change the weather, I can change my mood. But how can I effectively alleviate this low mood?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressed Emotions, Healing Methods, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "+1 for the obligatory handshake, as I find I'm getting more and more biased towards this feeling of being at the mercy of the weather too. Especially when it's windy and cold, and you're walking alone on the road by yourself, it doesn't make me sad to think about it, let alone be in it. #I think everyone has their favorite season or weather, and while it may not be thought about intentionally, it can still be experienced if you think about it. You say that you especially don't like foggy days, so is there something on your mind? What is it? Is it what you call uncertainty? I think it's important to follow your heart and listen to it, which will make you feel better. Because there are many possibilities of uncertainty, even if you don't know one, so choose the one that makes you happy, and that's the most important thing in life. If you think this way, your mood will still be very depressing? Will you still have no energy? Will you still be down? Of course, I have some guesses, I hope I am right, can bring you a little inspiration. Some things are not up to us and we feel powerless, so let's switch gears and see if there are any points we can get ourselves excited about? The foggy sky reveals uncertainty, but some words do not say, people, can not live too much understanding, too much understanding will be very tired, and this foggy sky is not exactly a symbol of mystery? So what, once in a while, learn to think differently, it may be more comfortable. Now you have an ally - ME. so, let's work together and become optimistic.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subjectHow good or bad your mood is related to the seasons, light, temperature, but also to psychological qualities and environmental stimuli, such as the occurrence of unacceptable and unexpected things. We can not resist the laws of nature, such as seasonal depression, also known as seasonal affective disorder. It is a type of depression. The most notable feature of seasonal depression is that it strikes at the same time every year, often starting in late fall or early winter and ending in late spring or early summer. However, there is a rare form of seasonal affective disorder that begins in late spring and early summer and ends in the fall. As Liu Yuxi wrote in his poem, \"Since ancient times, autumn is sad and lonely, but I say autumn is better than spring\". Looking at things from a different perspective may make you feel differently.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 857
       },
       {
        "question": "What do you do when you get anxious about being questioned by others?",
        "description": "I have depression, is that I work in a courier assembly line, when the sorting work, was quite relaxed and happy without error, but others question my ability, resulting in my constant anxiety, thus affecting the work how to do!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Guilt and Shame, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, are doing a relaxing and enjoyable job, really very happy it. The fact that other people's skepticism is causing your anxiety means that your internal self-evaluation system is not yet perfect, and your inner strength is not very stable, so other people's evaluation of you affects your view of yourself. Everyone encounters times when self-evaluation and other people's evaluation are pulled along the way of growth. It is recommended that the owner not be anxious for a while, establishing a stable self-evaluation system and stable inner strength does not happen all at once\u481e It is encountering these things that make you anxious that gives an opportunity to change and grow. Congratulations on having realized this about yourself, first of all don't blame yourself and secondly realize that you are relaxed and happy now and there is nothing that makes you unhappy, then this is what you want, and since you are satisfied, what other people think doesn't affect your happiness. The other side stands in his point of view and cognition to evaluate you, but he sees only one side of you, the only one who really understands you is yourself ah. So other people's questioning to first analyze whether it is objective, real, and then accept Oh owner, please believe in yourself, go.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6704
       },
       {
        "question": "20 years old, confused about relationships and having a hard time building relationships with others quickly?",
        "description": "A long time ago, most of the time I had trouble getting interested or even bored with other people's small talk, and sometimes it was hard to understand why they were having so much fun, and at the same time I was saddened by the feeling of being out of the atmosphere but most of all people tend to get to know each other better through small talk, and I had trouble building relationships with people quickly!",
        "keywords": "Career, Workplace",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi subject, I'm looking up at the stars, first of all hugs to you. Everyone grows up in different environments, which creates different personalities in each person. Sometimes these differences are quite obvious. For example, as you described in your question, some people are \"easy to get acquainted with\" and can become buddies after a couple of lines of conversation, while others are \"slow to warm up\" type. That's why psychology roughly categorizes people into two types, introverts and extroverts. Different personalities are not good or bad, each has its own advantages. Characteristics of introverts: they don't like to socialize and prefer to be alone. Socializing, or specifically, the kind of socializing that builds relationships just for the sake of a one-sided relationship, can be stressful for introverts. Introverts prefer to be alone, reflect on themselves, and look \"inward\" (into their own hearts) rather than \"outward\" (into the company of others). Introverts are better at deep thinking. Introverts don't like meaningless, superficial socializing, so they spend their time alone and thinking. Historically, Napoleon, Einstein, Van Gogh, Picasso, Chaplin, Tolstoy, etc., they were all introverts. They possessed extraordinary creativity and imagination, and I have to say that this was closely related to their preference for solitude and reflection. Introverts are more likely to reflect and improve themselves. When faced with interpersonal conflicts, introverts think first of all about whether they have done anything wrong, so it is easier for them to reflect on themselves in order to improve. Of course, sometimes introverts often attribute problems to themselves, which may trigger emotional reactions such as self-blame and guilt. Characteristics of extroverts: they like to make friends and socialize. Instead of being stressful for them, socializing is the most effective way to release internal stress. You said in your question that you don't quite understand why some people enjoy small talk and the feeling of quickly building relationships with others. In fact, this is exactly how they release their inner pressure and recharge themselves. The opposite is true for introverts. There are no good or bad personalities, all we have to do is build on our strengths. Introverts may not be good at building relationships quickly, but they don't have no relationships, and their network is often filled with friends or girlfriends who have shared experiences, know each other well, and trust each other. Relationships are not about quantity, but quality. It is enough to have one or two people around you who can help in times of trouble and are willing to listen to what you have to say. You said in your question that you feel bad about the \"small talk\" atmosphere. If you don't feel comfortable with this kind of \"chit-chat\", you don't need to involve yourself in it, except for work. Making a cup of tea at home, picking up a book to read, or looking out the window and thinking about life may be the best way for introverts to let go of stress and recharge their batteries. So follow your heart, learn to please yourself, and make yourself happy and joyful is the most important task.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the subject. I can feel that the subject is confused about the fact that she is not able to establish deeper interpersonal relationships with the people around her. Because of the limited information in the subject's question, I can't understand the composition of the subject's interpersonal structure and the way of building interpersonal relationships, i.e., whether there are any friends who can make friends with her and the way she is accustomed to building further interpersonal relationships with others. So here I can only offer some of my own experiences to share. First of all, since human beings are social creatures, we instinctively want to establish psychological links and mutual recognition with people around us, so as to seek support and help from each other. The subject should also be confused because he is unable to establish such a link with the people around him at this stage. The establishment of links between groups (which can be subdivided into small circles) requires mutual recognition, i.e., some parts of the values are intertwined or have the same parts. The subject may not be able to establish a further relationship with his friends because he has not yet found common ground (i.e., some commonality in values) with them. This point can not be too troubled, we can slowly explore, and friends to find common or complementary places, or with some other circle to find this sense of identity. The process of human interaction is supposed to be a process of seeking common ground while reserving differences. I hope my answer can give you some support. I also hope you can find your own circle sooner. I hope you can find your own circle sooner!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 4438
       },
       {
        "question": "Feel like you're always getting cold feet in a relationship?",
        "description": "I feel like the guys who like me, the boyfriends I've talked to are all enthusiastic at first, then gradually they don't talk to each other for days, usually within two months, or less, this happens, is it my problem? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, problems in relationship getting along are seldom one-sided problems, you can look at things objectively and face and solve problems from multiple perspectives. From your description, we can feel that you are always in a relationship with cold violence, feel confused and helpless. It may have something to do with your personality differences, the way you get along with each other, your experience in dating, and the way you express yourself. You can analyze your own personality characteristics, whether you have a continuous passion for the relationship and positive attitude, whether it is in the active or passive state? During your time together, did the intensive chatting and dating at the beginning of your relationship reveal all of your truth too early and did you not pay attention to keeping yourself attractive and mysterious in later times? When you felt left out, did you express your feelings honestly and express your expectations of the other person to avoid the problem recurring? How has your relationship experience and the other person's experience in relationships sustained the relationship, rather than getting together quickly and then quickly getting bored with each other, and how have you dealt with problems when faced with periods of flatlining? Does it add new blood and energy to the relationship? When you don't talk to each other for a few days, is it because the content of the conversation itself has become boring and monotonous, and neither of you is interested in the other? Or is the conversation \"dead\" and you've lost patience with each other? When you get along with different people, the same problem will occur, may also need to seriously reflect on whether they are doing something wrong, you can talk to each other, to help you analyze the reasons, and work together to maintain the relationship, so that the relationship is stable to continue. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 15490
       },
       {
        "question": "What can parents do about their 26-year-old children who are addicted to shopping and drinking Coke?",
        "description": "Had a friend when she was a sophomore and broke up when she graduated, they fought a lot and her boyfriend always made her happy by buying things and giving her money in order to make her happy. Three years ago, diagnosed with depression and has been taking medication ever since. Her parents found out that she owed a lot of money, and she said that her boyfriend took out a loan in her name. And she kept it a secret from her family until she couldn't pay it back and then she told them to pay it back. In total, she owes hundreds of thousands of dollars. It was only last year that I found out that she also does a lot of shopping online and drinks coke and eats mints. And she lied about it many times. This year, I found out that she had also purchased tens of thousands of dollars of stuff online while her parents were helping her pay off her debts. There are clothes, lipstick, cosmetics and so on. And promised not to spend money again, spend in advance, but then a few days ago found out that she spent thousands of dollars on things in a 5-day period. She is currently jobless and relies on her family to pay for her living expenses and they are still helping her pay off her debts. I don't know what's the end of it, what should we do?",
        "keywords": "Family, Family Relationships, Growing Up, Child Communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I can feel the subject's heartbreak. It feels like this 26 year old girl is an adult but still needs her family to take care of everything for her, she doesn't seem to have learned to take charge and control herself yet, but it's all just a facade, just a result of what you see. It's as if you came home and found water everywhere in the house, you have been shoveling water to pour shoveling water to pour, and then get yourself exhausted, but the focus is not on how to solve the result, it is important that you want to solve the cause, just like you found out the reason why there is water is because of your home water pipe is broken, then you need to shoveling to solve, but then, you've already called the property to come over to fix it, so shoveling is the head, or else! The shoveling will never stop. So, you can see that this girl, she feels that her life is full of pain, she's not happy anymore, so she's depressed, she's shopping a lot, she's drinking coke, she's eating peppermint candies, and depression keeps her from having to deal with the pain directly, and depression is a way of defending herself against the pain, and depression allows her to build a wall against the pain of the outside world, and while she's inside the wall, she doesn't have to deal with the pain at least not without being overwhelmed by the pain because she's incapable of dealing with the pain, incapable of resolving the pain, so she chooses depression as the solution. Unable to resolve the pain, she chooses depression as an escape, but also as an expression and a cry for help, telling the world that she is in pain, but she can't resolve it on her own, and that she needs help! Depression allows her to avoid pain, and a lot of shopping, drinking coke, eating mints to make her feel happy, she is essentially just tend to happiness to avoid pain, this is the pursuit of everyone, but she used the wrong method, you just need to let her learn to face the pain and learn how to correctly past the happy! This is the cause, but you can not solve, professional things to professional people, it is recommended to find a counselor to do long counseling, it is recommended to let her move more, and the world to produce links, such as going out to walk, exercise.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12998
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like I'm going to die of anxiety. There's so much pressure. What should I do?",
        "description": "What to do when you're stressed out and feel like you're going to die of anxiety?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Stress Management, Work Study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Owner, I saw your description and recommend \"Anti-Anxiety Thinking\". The following ways to cope with anxiety are excerpts from the book club's \"Anti-Anxiety Thinking\" text:How do you train to tune your brain to cope with anxiety? There are three ways to cascade your way from blocking anxiety to achieving a cure for it. The first way: is to quickly interrupt anxiety by shifting your attention. In general, the more stressed you feel, the more narrow and rigid your attention span becomes. An easy way to train yourself to be flexible with your attention is to start by just focusing ahead and letting your attention focus on a point on the wall for a few seconds. Then, shift your attention and start paying attention to your surroundings while you are looking ahead. While you're paying attention to your surroundings, try to recall the anxiety, which you'll find difficult. This is because you have turned on a state of calm. The authors also suggest a method of \"mind wandering\", which in layman's terms means letting your brain \"wander\". For example, when you have to make an important decision, you may feel anxious in the process of weighing the pros and cons, at this time, you can try to steal a break from the busyness of problem solving, take a break for a moment. Then let your mind wander around and think about a beautiful view you once saw or recall a pleasant experience. This approach quickly calms your brain, alpha brainwaves are greatly increased, anxiety is interrupted, which in turn stimulates your creative thinking and helps you find solutions, pointing you in new directions and new ideas. Taking it a step further requires us to learn to switch emotional modes and thus control the dissolution of anxiety. The second way: when you feel anxious again, or when a scary movie starts to play in your head again, you can try to follow these steps: The first step is to ask yourself. The first step is to ask yourself, \"What's going on?\" \"What am I worried about?\" Replace anxiety and fear with \"curiosity\" and take some time to answer these questions, which can immediately reduce the intensity of your anxiety and give yourself a chance to get rid of it. The second step is to stop exercising and check in with your body. See which parts of your body are feeling the emotions and stress, then focus on the stress and take a few rounds of deep breaths until you feel more at peace; the third step is to ask yourself \"what do I need to do\" and take steps to meet your needs, such as having dinner with your partner, etc. Once you start to feel good, that means you are better able to solve the problem; the fourth step is to ask yourself \"what do I need to do? The fourth step is to mentally summon your emotional patterns of curiosity, caring, and playfulness, imagining that you are already in these emotions, and practicing opening up to them. The reason this approach works is that it is impossible for a person to be in both emotional states at the same time. So once you turn on the mode of humor or amusement, it's natural to be able to drive away anxiety, anger, or fear and enter a state of calm. When your brain is satisfied with this calm state, it stays longer and becomes your internal \"default state\", giving you more control over yourself. The third way: Train yourself to synchronize your whole brain to cure anxiety. One of the easiest ways to do this is to spend 3-5 minutes a day practicing spatial focus meditation. The third way: train yourself to synchronize your whole brain to cure anxiety for good. One of the easiest ways to do this is to spend 3-5 minutes a day practicing the Focused Space meditation method. Step 1: Close your eyes and focus on the space in an empty cup for 1 minute; Step 2: Visualize the word \"white\" as a picture and project it in your brain, then visualize \"black\" and focus on the space between the two phrases; Step 3: Practice a meditation on the space between the two phrases and focus on the space between the two phrases; Step 4: Practice a meditation on the space between the two phrases. Focus on the space between the two words; Step 3: Focus on the space between the two eyebrows for 1 minute; Step 4: Focus on the imaginary space between the ears and across the head.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello subject ah, first of all, first to the subject of a big hug, many contemporary people have a stressful situation, appropriate pressure can help us better growth forward, but when the pressure is too large will affect their state, and even a somatization of the state, thus affecting our life and work, so very heartbreaking subject's state, and I sincerely wish that the subject can soon alleviate their anxiety and return to normal life. Anxiety and return to a normal state of life. The questioner says: I'm under a lot of pressure and I'm dying of anxiety. Stress arises when one's actual ability does not match one's expectation of oneself, but this expectation of oneself may be the pressure actually given by the outside world in real life, or it may be the pressure given by one's own imagination, and this part of the questioner needs to do a little bit of differentiation. If it is because the real life and work to their own expectations and their actual ability does not match the resulting pressure, then it is recommended that the subject either grow their own ability, or change an environment, which can help to alleviate the anxiety brought about by the pressure. If the pressure is caused by the mismatch between one's own imagined high expectations and one's own actual ability, then it is necessary for us to correct our cognition, lower our high expectations, get rid of our greed, and set goals and accomplish them on a realistic basis, so that we can also relieve ourselves of the anxiety brought about by the pressure. Above, I hope it can help the subject, good luck!",
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        "questionID": 5667
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       {
        "question": "How can a person enter college without a goal to aspire to?",
        "description": "I am a freshman, after the baptism of the senior year of high school success into a good university, all of a sudden from the pressure of the academic release, but look around people every day busy clubs, busy work, feel like living without goals, do not know what their ideals, live a very confused, there is no planning for the future, how to do it?",
        "keywords": "Growth, Student Growth, Meaning of Life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! When you ask this question, it means that your subconscious mind is also very upwardly mobile? It's just that for the time being, you haven't found the switch to turn on the sails of your ideals. Lev Tolstoy said: Ideal is the guiding light. Without ideals, there is no firm direction; without direction, we lose the power to move forward. \u2460 confused, not equal to decadence in fact, everyone will be confused, just confused at different levels. Many times, it is just a bottleneck of their own development, breakthrough, a sea of sky. Confused about which university, confused about where to work, confused about what direction to develop, etc., people in this life, always in the choice, when they do not know how to choose when it becomes confused. That is to say, confusion is not equal to decadence, confusion is that you want to move forward and do not know how to move forward when the anxiety, and decadence, is your self-abandonment. \u2461 Do not give yourself a limit to know what you like what is suitable for what people are lucky, but in fact, you will eventually become what you do not know, think back to your childhood, your ideals of elementary school, junior high school and high school ideals, is certainly not the same. It's not that you've become more realistic, but you've become more mature, just like when you look back at those hurtful words and pretentious words you wrote in middle school, you just laugh. Therefore, people in this life, do not give yourself a limit, that the future must be engaged in what work, your understanding, your choice, with your experience and pattern of gradual change, gradual enhancement. \u2462 If there is no goal, do a good job at the moment, no matter what you will become in the future, do a good job at the moment is the most important thing, fortunate is never the inevitable result of efforts to do a good job at the moment, for example, you into the student body on the due diligence, you join the clubs on the organization of the activities, did not enter the student body, you enrolled in the study class on the seriousness of the class, you can think that do not skip classes at the university is not called the university, but can not always flunk it, you also have to do a lot of work. You can not always fail, you can also say that you are very capable, but you always have to take a few real certificates to the enterprise to prove your ability, right? Therefore, efforts, is necessary, do a good job of the current thing, is what you should work hardest, especially when you do not know what direction you will eventually develop. I've seen a lot of college students who don't work hard but think highly of themselves, and when asked to describe their talents, they're just stumped. There is a saying that \"talent is like pregnancy, it takes time to see\", and with the progress of society, the chance of talent will be less and less, if you are always unrecognized, you really do a good CT check check to see whether you are pregnant with the talent or at the table to push the glass of wine and brag about each other's beer belly. Life is a marathon, in front of the leading people do not necessarily smile to the end, to find their own direction is fortunate, but temporary confusion does not mean that you will never get ahead. Famous may be before it's too late, but the majority of the late or big tool. Don't give up, don't be disillusioned, don't feel that this society is like this, remember two words: first, how you are, how your world is. Secondly, if your youth is destined to be wasted, please waste it on something good.",
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        "questionID": 3551
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there a way to always try to put things off or get anxious?",
        "description": "Doing things is always put off to a later date, or else there is anxiety in the mind. What's going on here? What can be done to improve it?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Procrastination, Anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "How old is the owner? What kind of things do you procrastinate on? I'm sure it's not everything, but at least not \"procrastination\"? \"I always put things off, otherwise I get anxious.\" I don't really understand what this means. I don't quite understand what this means. If you don't procrastinate and do it right away, you'll feel anxious? I thought about the possible reasons for procrastination in general. For reference: 1, not ready to do these things, including the preparation of the reality and psychological preparation; 2, do not want to do these things, to delay to avoid; 3, perhaps arranged for you to do things \"people\" are always changing, and many times do not end up; 4, perhaps things no matter how to do the consequences are not what you expect; 5, perhaps you think that thing is not a good idea, but you can not do it, and you can not do it. Maybe you think that kind of thing is not worth doing; 6, enjoy the waiting process to do this thing; 7, to attract attention; 8, a kind of self-protection and defense measures; 9, a learned pattern of behavior; the owner can analyze what is the reason, and then \"the right medicine\" can be. \"Things are always postponed, otherwise, the heart will appear anxiety. If what the owner is saying is: if you don't procrastinate and do something right away, you will feel anxious. This anxiety may be, on the one hand, anxiety about not knowing how to do something, and on the other hand, it may be anxiety about not how to do it or how to do it better or more perfectly. It may be followed by anxiety about what to do if you don't finish something on time. When you are anxious again, try to be still and feel the source of your anxiety. When you feel your \"anxiety\" with your heart, the \"anxiety\" will slowly dissipate, and will not get higher and higher, and will annihilate you.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello: After reading what you said in your article, you want to solve the problem: firstly, you want to know why there is a situation that you always want to procrastinate doing something or else you will feel anxious; secondly, you want to find a way to solve the problem. I will talk about my ideas: 1. What you mean is that when you are ready to do something, if you do it immediately, you will feel anxious inside. If you put it off later, the anxiety will be lighter. Is this what you mean?2. When this happens, I think the reasons may be manifold, and it is difficult to explain them clearly in one sentence. I think: you can carefully analyze and compare your psychological situation before and after, at what time did you start to be anxious? What is the cause of your anxiety? What was the object of the anxiety? Is it the fear of not doing well? Or do you not want to do it? After you have analyzed the situation, you can ask yourself: Can I set lower standards for myself? Or do I have to accomplish this thing? Or ...... think about it, the goal is clear, perhaps the anxiety will be a little lighter. 3, the solution to the problem. I need to complete a few things in the time, there will be anxiety, do not know which thing to start. Later, I found a method: firstly, I finish what I have to do; secondly, I choose the one that is easy to finish; and finally, I finish the rest of the things from easy to difficult. Confidence increased and anxiety decreased as things were slowly done. If there is only one thing, I think about the deadline to finish it first, and then I do have a start time, so I may not have too much sense of urgency, and my anxiety is lowered. I don't know if what I said can help you. For your reference.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello ah ~ \"do things always backward procrastination, otherwise, the heart will appear anxiety\", in fact, a more accurate statement is because I do not know how to do or do not want to do and feel particularly anxious, in the anxiety will be procrastination. Of course, after procrastination, it will become more anxious, so this is a vicious circle. Although you don't know exactly what you are trying to do, you may be striving for perfection, thinking that you must achieve unparalleled results in what you have at hand. Undoubtedly, such an expectation is too perfectionist and difficult to realize, so it will keep procrastinating ...... Therefore, the most important thing we need is to start first, and in the process of doing it, keep polishing it, and then eventually we will reap the considerable results, instead of being in the midst of delusional procrastination all the time. We need instant feedback when doing things, and it's hard to stick to goals that are long term and won't be rewarded immediately. So it's highly recommended that you break down a big plan into smaller, very detailed plans that you can then make it easy for yourself to do one step at a time. At the same time you can go ahead and set up some rewards and penalties, that is, what will reward you if you complete the task and what will penalize you if you don't. The problem of procrastination is sometimes very complex and hard to explain in a few words, you can also go for some courses on procrastination. Good luck ~.",
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        "questionID": 7680
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm in love but I can't express intimate language, what should I do?",
        "description": "I'm actually an exceptionally verbal person, but as soon as I'm in a relationship I become unable to speak, and even intentionally avoid those intimate words... what's wrong with me and what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love,Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the title of the intimate relationship in the beginning will be like this, also stems from our shyness, I'm right over an article described in this way, very beautiful and important. \u25a0 The more you love him, the more you have to trouble him, the skills to create a sense of giving in an intimate relationship there are many very gentle and considerate and understanding girl, in the middle of a relationship will be gentle and considerate and understanding to the extreme. For example, when you go out to eat with your boyfriend, you are too embarrassed to let the boys spend money, so you grabbed the money; Another example is that you just met him not long ago, you are sympathetic to him in every way, buy a gift, the other side asked what gift, you pick the cheapest. Not only that, in the work and life in the difficult problem also never embarrassed to trouble the boyfriend, always feel that if I call him, or at this moment we two have not confirmed the relationship, just each other have a very deep good feeling. In this case, I do not want him to think that I am very stupid, I seem to be very poor ability, I can not even get this thing, he will not annoy me? You see, through these inner language, these inner drama, we can feel, in fact, this girl in the relationship has not even begun to fall in love, has already shown a sense of low value. Why don't you want your boyfriend to buy you expensive gifts? The answer is simple: she doesn't feel worthy. Although on the surface her rhetoric is afraid of her boyfriend to spend money, afraid to let people think that she is a girl who loves to spend money. But in fact, the inner language is I'm not expensive. Please note oh, it is not that the gift can not be too expensive, but I am not expensive, so I can not want too expensive gift. I'm afraid that he will think I'm not good enough, I'm worried that he will see my flaws, and I just want to make him fall in love with a me that's more perfect than the real me. So I have to disguise myself, I have to wear a mask, and when I have a hard time, I can't bother him, I can't make him think I'm a pain in the ass. So her inner subconscious is not afraid that her boyfriend will find her troublesome, but she sees herself as a trouble already first. In fact, the more you love him in an intimate relationship the more you have to trouble him, because the more you give up to trouble him, the more he will love you. Psychological researchers explain the results of this experiment with the theory of the heart-blood defense effect, telling us that the more costly it is to achieve a goal, the higher that goal is rated in the mind of the actor. How to make good use of body language to let him know love is coming First method: open yourself up. When you've made eye contact and you've attracted him over, then all you have to do is make sure your body is turned positively toward the other person and in an open stance. The second method: stay in sync. Once in a big hotel bar lobby saw a pair of men and women, both of their bodies are completely toward each other, and tilted toward each other, that is, sitting position is only a little bit of the chair, the body leaned forward, showing a special interest in each other. And then, both of them will keep nodding and smiling at each other during the conversation. In other words, when you start to feel excited and interested in a person, and feel that the other person is the one you want. Keep an eye on it and always try to be in sync with him. How to make your relationship start with chatting? First tip: What to talk about? The first step: chatting about the weather. In fact, from chatting about what, two people can feel the closeness of the relationship with each other, more distant relationship. It is the first chat weather, of course, in the first acquaintance, the first meeting is really nothing to say, you can chat like this. The second step: you can talk about the facts. What do you mean by facts? First of all, it is the fact that you are near. Of course do not talk too far. Step 3: Talk about feelings. By this time you have talked to him about the weather, about the news, about the facts, and right after that you can ask her how she feels. Of course, more skillful, more clever approach is to come up directly to talk about feelings, you can go directly up and ask him, the cold air is a little bit enough, cold or not? The second technique: the small key technique in the conversation. Is to pay attention to those he did not throw out the small details, these small details, I call it a small key, you must be good at grabbing these small keys, to push the topic down. When the man in the party a little bored, said ah this party hurry up and end, I have to go home early, continue to write my program, tomorrow also have to submit to the boss, yes, the program is a small key. The third tip: praise attitude in the conversation. The principle is to put you awesome must hang in the mouth. Of course this you are great, can be changed into a variety of language to say. Because you have just met. In the stage of just knowing each other, in fact, how can the other person feel your love to come? It's by making him feel its value, especially its intrinsic value, its valuable qualities that you've gotten. Practice praising yourself, practice complimenting yourself, practice acknowledging yourself and putting you awesome. Say it to yourself often, and only if you say you're awesome to yourself often enough to be able to appreciate yourself, can you really learn to appreciate others sincerely. Tip #4: Make good use of the ability to empathize in conversation. Remember that the principle of empathy between lovers is not pity and sympathy, but warmth and support. There are times when you can even make good use of body language. Tip #5: Use the word \"we\" more often. Let's say two people in the party, this time you can say to him, or we go over there, or we early first withdrawal, or it is too boring can say, alas I have a suggestion, you see us next so good? When you are about to part, you can ask him, when will we meet again next time? Instead of saying when will I ask you out next time, this is called the \"we\" expression in love. (The above is an excerpt from Qing Yin's Love Evolution, Issue 7.) I'd like to share this with the author!",
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          "answer_text": "I am also facing the same problem as you and have the ability to share this topic with you. Generally after we are in a relationship we are careful with the one we love, I think the owner is the one who may be overly cautious and may be feeling a little shy about your significant other as well. First of all, I would like to say how hard it is to meet someone you love, so why can't you say the three words I love you when you have him and he has you. Really passionate to each other to say it? The owner can think about a few questions. One since he is your own choice of partner, then you have the right to go to her to say I like you I love you and so on these words of, this is nothing to say. What if your partner really likes to hear these sweet words from you too? Why don't we take the time to say these sweet words while we still have the ability, the spirit and the free time to love that person? One day you think of the time when you were in love with him, you did not say these, you will regret? Thirdly, isn't it normal for couples to say sweet things to each other? It's not normal to not say sweet things to each other. I think the owner, you mention this problem here is very good, but I think the real solution to this problem is that you go to your other half to negotiate, because then, in this relationship is the need for the two of you to quietly pay, you are the heroine, he is the hero, I think you can talk to him, in fact? Since you love him and he loves you, there is nothing you can't talk to him about. Be bold and go talk to your boyfriend. Then, boldly go to make some changes, after all, the other person is the person you love, for the person you love to make some changes why not? I think if you often say sweet words to her words, she will also be more and more confident, you often say sweet words to her words, she will often say sweet words to you words. Sweet words are essential in love. I wish you get over this problem soon, and I wish the relationship between you and your boyfriend can last forever. I wish you luck and happiness!",
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        "questionID": 20950
       },
       {
        "question": "Curious, does doing negative type questionnaires have an effect on mood?",
        "description": "While listening to a class, the instructor talked about the ethics of psychological experiments and wanted to know if doing a negative type of questionnaire would have an emotional impact on the average person? Will it make people feel uncomfortable? What do the subjects need to be aware of?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, I recently read Elliot . Aronson's The Social Animal, a textbook on social psychology, and in Chapter 9: Social Psychology as a Science of the book, there is a reference to ethical issues regarding social psychology experiments. Social psychology is the study of human behavior, and social psychology researchers observe social phenomena and formulate hypotheses, design experiments, recruit volunteers to conduct the experiments, summarize the data, and support our hypotheses with scientifically sound results. All the cases in our social psychology textbooks are results obtained from statistical data by researchers recruiting volunteers to conduct experiments. The Milgram electroshock experiment was even more egregious in nature than the negative questionnaire. In order to study the relationship between evil and subordination in humans, Milgram recruited volunteers to play the role of prison guards, who were required to inflict electric shock punishment on inmates. The electric shocks were simulated, but to make the scene more realistic, Milgram simulated the screams of the prisoners so that the real volunteers, playing the role of prison guards, would think that they were actually hurting another human being. The results of the electroshock experiment were invaluable in proving that we all have the potential to have extreme personalities. But after this experiment was over, the volunteers involved experienced inner torture. Chapter 9 of The Social Animal describes the results of the follow-up of the volunteers in the experiment, which showed that, although some of the volunteers said that the experiment had caused them distress. However, the greater part of the volunteers, after learning the significance of the experiment and the final results, understood the defects of human beings as social animals, and the experience, on the contrary, allowed him to improve his self-knowledge, which helped him to a certain extent in his life. Turning back to your question. Negative questionnaires do affect volunteers, so the experimenter needs to do a good job of explaining and channeling, informing the volunteer of the real purpose of the survey after he has done the questionnaire, and giving the results back to the subject. As for the subjects, after doing such questionnaires, they can follow up the follow-up to understand the statistics and the final results, and according to the results, examine themselves, face up to the deficiencies they have as social animals, and make improvements to their selves.",
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        "questionID": 7108
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I improve my self-control if I want to be able to control myself?",
        "description": "Want to be able to control myself, sometimes there is clearly a lot going on and my mind tells me I should get moving, but I keep doing things that don't make sense. Is there any way to improve self-control?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, not the way to solve problems, procrastination, neither, immediate action and doing as much as you can is the way to go. Can very much understand how you feel, I sometimes do the same thing, probably because there are too many things, but they are all more difficult or do not know how to start things, so procrastinate and procrastinate, more and more anxious, but still will not do it, until I have to do it, then it will be moved, but the degree of completion of the thing and the result, may not be very good. You can try to find out what is the reason for your avoidance and procrastination? Is it that you really don't have time to do it? Is it not in the mood to do it? Is it lack of motivation to do it? Is it not knowing how to do it? Or is it that the task doesn't feel important enough for you to procrastinate? And so on. Once you have found the reasons, allow yourself to counter these reasons to help you correct your thoughts, such as no time to do it? So where do you put your time? Should I make a schedule or find someone to monitor myself, etc. to get myself to change and take action. True self-control and self-discipline are \"exhausting\" because there is always a string holding you back, so you can move. When you start to give yourself room for maneuver, that is, when you do not have the determination to take action, you will keep procrastinating and postponing, and then fill your time with unimportant things, \"pretending\" that you do not have time to do serious things. This is a way of fooling yourself and others, as you may have already realized, so there is no other good way but to hang a thread over your head, reminding yourself to take action, now, right now, right now. You can try to allocate your time and things to help yourself to complete your tasks in a timely and efficient manner, to be able to finish one thing at a time, and never give yourself a \"way back\" if you really want to change. Good luck.",
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          "answer_text": "hi, the subject to see the description of the subject: obviously there are a lot of things, they also know that they should move, but can not be very good self-control want to give the subject to recommend a way to take notes 1, first of all, the first four pages of the beginning of the part of the index 2, 5-8 pages of the annual record, record the big events by month 3, followed by a specific month of the event record, attached to the month of the month table is more intuitive to see which day What to do 4, and finally is the daily record, you can distinguish between important events and ordinary events in different ways, such as the daily completion of an event can be marked as a \u221a, if not completed will be postponed to the next day to mark such as.",
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        "questionID": 12316
       },
       {
        "question": "He plays games when he has a little time. Is divorce good or bad?",
        "description": "I can't tell you, seeing him play games makes me angry. I work a lot and he plays games when he has a little time. I'm expected to watch the kids and cook after work so he has time to play games. As soon as I say no to games, he's all over the place.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Divorce, Marriage Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! Although your description is relatively short, to summarize, it should be because the husband is addicted to the game, indifferent to family relations, negligent management of the relationship between husband and wife, resulting in the subject is more distressed, and want to divorce in order to get rid of this predicament! It seems that divorce may be the easiest and most effective way out of this predicament, divorce requires consideration of many issues, involving child custody, property division, etc., the most important is still the psychological impact on the entire family, so it should be considered carefully, to avoid getting into the quagmire of the divorce can not be extricated, not only can not play the role of the one hundred and one, but also add other troubles! For the current situation, I suggest that the subject formally find her husband to communicate, explaining his family responsibilities and obligations. If the game addiction is serious, it is better to take your husband to a psychiatrist to deal with this game addiction. Talk to your in-laws and your parents and seek their help. In the end, it is still recommended that the subject should not consider divorce as a last resort, but divorce may be the best way to change the future of a family if you can't change it even with your efforts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19050
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do antidepressants just feel worse? Why?",
        "description": "Not personally, but someone I know, who not long ago realized he had depression went to the hospital and was diagnosed, and then started taking medication. From some of the dynamics he posted, he feels that his mood is very unstable, if before he had a fixed pattern of complete dominant behavior, now it is good and bad, when it is good, he especially loves life, when it is bad, he says that he doesn't want to take the medication, he feels something strange [hallucinations], and the tone of his voice has changed from before. So why does that lead to this?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, Disease Diagnosis, Therapeutic Approaches",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There may be several reasons for this situation: 1. There may be a problem with the diagnosis. Current psychiatry is based on symptoms as the basis for diagnosis, and patients with bipolar disorder will also show signs of depression when they are in the depressive phase, which is often prone to misdiagnosis, which is typical of bipolar disorder: the mood rises and falls, like going over the car. In addition, the medication for the two different disorders is different. Bipolar is a mood stabilizer, such as lithium carbonate, while depression tends to be an antidepressant, which is the first possibility.2. With a correct diagnosis, it often takes about 2 weeks for depression medication to take effect, and it may be that the medication is not fully functional at this point in time.3. Usually, depression accompanied by psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations, is more severe, and recovery also takes a It is normal for the condition to fluctuate during this period of time. Of course, if you find that Ta's situation is very wrong, then it is still recommended that Ta go to the hospital for follow-up, timely adjustment of medication. After all, each patient's response to different drugs is still somewhat different, and need to be modified in the course of treatment, to find the most suitable for the patient's medicine. Above, good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6355
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do to regulate my lack of energy after having a baby?",
        "description": "It's been almost a year since I had my baby and I feel like I don't have enough energy at work and I don't know what to do about it.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, prenatal and postnatal",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, thanks for the invitation. While children bring us a lot of new experiences, they do bring us a lot of emotional attachments and personal energy drains. Rediscovering work-life balance is a challenge every working mom has to face (of course I've actually always felt that a full-time mom would have a harder time than a working mom). From your description it seems that you are feeling drained of energy at work. So we can take a closer look at what part of that tired feeling is coming from. For example: (1) the work itself is very difficult and requires you to put in a lot of effort; (2) interpersonal relationships in the workplace make you feel a bit difficult to deal with, for example, the leaders have a lot of demands and expectations of you; (3) it's a long way to commute to and from work, so you have to spend a lot of time on the road every day; (4) the workload is overloaded, and you often need to work overtime; (5) your work requires frequent travel, which makes it impossible for you to balance the care of the children with the work requirements; (6) your in-laws or other caregivers taking care of your children at home make you so uneasy that you can't work well; (7) your children don't sleep well at night, which consumes a lot of your sleep time, and you feel sleep deprived; (8) your husband wants you to devote more time to your home, and expects you to take care of your children more. ...... First of all, go to see where your own where the tiredness is coming from, to see the emotions behind it and our own needs, and then we can go and adjust it in a targeted way and make a little change. This kind of change can be done by yourself, or you can find a counselor to do it with you (after all, change is not easy), after a while to see if the state is improved as a result.",
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           {
            "start": 346,
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           },
           {
            "start": 376,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 428,
            "end": 484,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: After the birth of our child, our life status has changed a lot, as a mother we need to feed the child, we need to constantly pay attention to this little life, hungry? Hungry? Hot? Cold? Itchy? Painful? Are you in pain? It's even more upsetting when the kids are sick. In the past, all we had to do was mind our own business and spend time with our family. Now that we have a little one who takes all of our energy, we focus much less on ourselves than we used to. In other words, we rarely take care of ourselves and at the same time we have to put in a lot of effort to take care of the child. It's not so bad if the rest of the family can work together to take care of the child and housework, but if the situation doesn't allow us to take care of the child as well as the family and we still need to work most of the time, it's really hard for us to have that much energy. I don't know if you're a full time mom or not, but if you are a full time mom it can be tough too. Working moms can still talk to their coworkers and spit out their frustrations, new full-time moms need too much attention because their kids are too young which can lead to narrowing down the circle of life to the small area of the family, and it can be hard to relax and very tiring inside. In either case, the lack of energy is telling us that we need to rest, and only when we rest well will we have more energy to take care of our children. Taking care of kids is hard, take care of yourself while taking care of your kids \ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8809
       },
       {
        "question": "18 year old boy, repeat student, who has been particularly depressed in recent times?",
        "description": "Recently, a big thing happened (for fear of being complained so not convenient to say publicly), and there is no trusted friends can say, full of this matter, and at the same time to repeat is also very stressful, after all, has passed half of the time, and can not sleep at night, the next day the head will be a special pain, seriously affecting the study. I hope I can get some reasonable advice, thank you very much!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Panic and Helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello owner, the owner has recently experienced some things, and there is no trusted friends can say, their lives and studies are affected by this matter, full of this matter. This must make you feel very painful, originally repeat the time is already a lot of pressure, and the owner also suffered their own psychological torture. Even this matter has affected your physical health, your work and life. The owner should also be as soon as possible to regulate their own state ah, if it has been the case, then not only the owner of the study will not affect, their own psychological may also be suffocated out of the problem. Here are some small suggestions. Since the owner does not have a trusted friend, you can go to talk about their feelings, then the owner can use the form of writing a diary, the thoughts of their hearts all written on paper. The process of writing is also a kind of confession and expression process. Now I feel that the owner's situation has been more serious, if after self-regulation has not achieved results, then it is recommended that the owner go to the school's psychological counseling center to seek professional help. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2441
       },
       {
        "question": "I am obese at 20 years old, recently stressed out bulimia hyperemesis low self-esteem how to improve?",
        "description": "I used to not pay much attention to my weight, but after I started working, my family put a lot of pressure on me to lose weight every day, and I recently started an internship with a high pressure job, I weigh myself every day but my weight doesn't go down I control my diet every day, but I can't help but overeat, and then I have a guilty conscience, and I start to vomit, but it only makes me lose two pounds, and then I don't lose weight and start gaining it back again, I'm miserable! I don't know what to do I have extremely low self-esteem how can I improve it?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-abuse, laziness, overeating and dieting",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, you have to understand one thing, control your weight within a reasonable range is good for your body, not to fulfill the requirements of the family or outsiders' eyes, first of all, you have to reach such a consensus with your own heart, otherwise even if you reduce it, you will become unconfident. Then, weight loss should focus on science, control the mouth and legs, both are indispensable. Suggest that you first moderate control of diet: staples, meat, vegetables have to eat, to ensure that the health needs, reduce the amount can be; milk tea, snacks, these are strictly not eat, usually drink some plain water is good. Exercise is a must, according to your own physical ability to try, the key is to maintain a certain time every day. Physical weak on walking, generally do not exceed 10,000 steps, you can quickly walk, first enhance the physical; physical can also run, just start ten to fifteen minutes can be. As long as the exercise sweats, after exercise feel comfortable very important point, do not weigh frequently! You have to be clear, exercise a controlled diet, even if the weight did not go down, your body will get better and better, the mind will get better and better, it will become confident. Otherwise, even if the weight comes down, what faces you is a bunch of health problems. And long-term exercise and reasonable diet of people, the basic body will not be poor to nowhere.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2265
       },
       {
        "question": "We broke up peacefully. We're still not used to it. What should I do?",
        "description": "We broke up peacefully, still not quite used to it, now always unconsciously want to share some daily life with him happy, and sad. But when I think about the fact that we are not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, I feel that it is not good to do so. Can't we continue to be friends after a breakup?",
        "keywords": "Love, love lost",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Break up can be friends this thing, depends on how you and the other person is how to see, you two people before together when the habit of life with each other to share things, this sharing may give you a kind of moment in each other's side of the feeling, this feeling may give you a sense of security. When you just broke up, this sharing habit will also make you make subconsciously want to send messages to each other's ideas and behaviors, I think if I just broke up, there may also be this subconscious to send messages to each other's situation. But if you have been broken up for a long time, and you still want to send messages to each other, you need to think about the meaning behind your behavior, whether deep down you don't want to be separated, whether you still want to have contact with each other, and whether you want to be loved by a person in real life. If you can see what you really need to send messages to each other, then you will be able to stop obsessing about whether or not to send messages to each other. I hope you have a good life and good health, and I hope you will soon realize this problem.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner! Seeing your confusion, I believe it should be the confusion of the vast majority of couples after a breakup. You said you broke up peacefully, why did you break up, it must be that during the time you were together, you felt inappropriate and irreconcilable with each other, which led to the end of your relationship. A breakup means that you mutually recognized the need to disengage from the intimate relationship and maintain a social distance. You say that you will not get used to the breakup and will want to continue sharing with each other. This shows that you haven't completely detached yourself emotionally from your last relationship and still maintain an emotional attachment. But if you continue to keep in touch with each other, you will once again draw closer to each other, deepen the dependence, so that the factors that led to your breakup will be revealed again, so that it continues to affect your relationship? That break up can still be friends, in fact, there is no absolute from the point of view of social exchange theory, some people have broken up, but also continue to choose to be friends, there is only one reason - you want to get from each other, and do not want to lose these things, so the two sides continue to contact, regardless of whether you are conscious or unconsciously. On the contrary, if every time you spend time with the other person, it is always full of their own conflicts, arguments, resentment or negative emotions, even if you say you can be friends, there are still heavy barriers between you and him. I don't know if this has helped you? I hope you are getting better and better!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! You say you've broken up, that is, you're no longer boyfriend and girlfriend, but you're still in constant contact and know you shouldn't be. This question, I think it's important to first be clear about whether you are unilaterally wanting to come and go, or whether both parties feel they still want to contact each other. If it is you unilaterally in contact, and the other party does not want to contact, then adjust yourself. After all, after the breakup, you are already familiar strangers, it is not suitable for intimate contact again. If both of you feel the need to reconnect, then in fact your breakup isn't complete or you're still in a relationship, and there's no point in caring about the formality at this point. So the key to your question is to figure out if the reason for being in this state is you or both of you needing to connect. I don't know if I can help you by saying this.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 427
       },
       {
        "question": "What about jealousy when you have an aversion to people who flaunt it?",
        "description": " And @ me.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, owner, many times the people and things we \"don't like\" will bring us to reflect on where our boundaries and unacceptable places are. From your description, I can feel that you feel disgusted and loathed because the people around you are always \"flaunting\". You can make yourself think seriously about what is the reason for your resentment towards them. Is it jealousy, as you say? Is it envy of the things they have that you don't, such as beauty, money, time, etc.? Is it the thought that they have nothing to do all day, but seem so happy and comfortable? Is it the fact that you hate them personally, or is it the fact that they act so ostentatiously that annoys you? Would you hate strangers if they were flamboyant? Perhaps the answer will be found when you repeatedly ask yourself where the reason lies. If you really hate them, you can choose not to see their circle of friends, and what is the reason for you to keep them in your circle of friends? Is it because you hate them, or because you hate your current state of life? If we can't get rid of the environment that makes us uncomfortable, we can learn to ignore it or change it, the purpose is to let ourselves not be affected by it and walk our own way. Have envy and jealousy towards others, these are very normal, because we ourselves suffer too much pain and hardship, always see the light and splendor behind others, but habitually ignore that they also have shadows and unbearable. If the behavior of your relatives can be changed by certain actions of yours, you can make efforts to try, such as communication and exchange. If you are too lazy to change them, then you can allow yourself to choose to ignore it, or change your perception that the circle of friends they post is only a part of what they want to show, and what is truly precious is not easily seen by others. You can swipe through their circle of friends in peace, knowing that it's their world, and that you have your own world just the same. Seriously improve yourself, seriously love life, seriously live every day, no matter you choose to send or not to send the circle of friends, you live a wonderful life or not, only you know, and this is enough. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16766
       },
       {
        "question": "24 year old girl who can't stop crying when her boyfriend ignores me, how do I relieve it?",
        "description": "Almost graduated when talking about a boyfriend, after graduation originally wanted to go to Beijing, because he went to Tianjin, two months after the breakup, every day can not sleep, the early morning will wake up crying. At this time I met my current boyfriend (met online), he accompanied me every night, I rely on him, after six months he did not originally chase me when good, he is a doctor, we are long-distance. Because of the epidemic I lost my job, he has been very busy recently, I feel that he does not care about me, do not send me messages I think he does not love me. It makes me cry and then I can't help but call him, he's tired and I can hear it but I can't help but reach out to him. I hate being like this, I've been studying for my exams at home lately and it's been stressful and I'm not communicating with the outside world. I feel like I can't bother him like this, I'm afraid of breaking up. What can I do to ease it, I really can't control my emotions when they come up",
        "keywords": "Relationships, Codependent Attachment, Relationship Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "When lovers get together, everything needs to have a degree. After reading the description of the subject can feel that the incumbent is still very much in love with the subject, just due to work reasons many times not be able to do the first time to reply to the message, he is not not as much as before love the subject, but because he needs to slowly balance the relationship between the two people. Due to the impact of the epidemic, if not to support the front-line staff, many departments are not as busy as before, so he can spare a lot of time to accompany the subject, but recently a lot of hospitals have returned to the regular, and in the work of the time certainly do not have time to look at the phone. Suppose we go to the hospital to see a doctor and the doctor who treats us keeps answering messages on his cell phone, try to find out if we can accept it. Or would we complain about the other person? Since we chose to go to graduate school, some loneliness is something we must bear, although the other party is our lover, but I believe the subject does not want to be a burden to the other party, so there are some things we can try to be a little more independent, if anything to trouble the other party, not even for the other party to think about it, someday we may push the other party farther and farther away. It's not that he doesn't love the subject, but he also has his own work, so we also need to understand each other, especially when the other person is more tired, we can give each other some simple comfort, or give some other encouragement. We can record our own heart through the text, share the happy things to each other, list some of the problems that they have no way to solve to listen to each other's mind, give each other a certain amount of trust. We can put more thoughts on the examination, now the effort is to make each other better together in the future, so give yourself a little time to grow, give each other a little time to relax. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's still difficult to alleviate the situation. More often than not it is still necessary to convince yourself. But the process, too, is just as difficult. I'll give you a few, my personal views and opinions below. I hope it will help you. The previous loss of love, that you did not get out of the emotions. It is also because of the previous broken love. So you cherish this more. Love affair. Slowly and slowly put all to make up and love all added to this. So you this paragraph cast a lot a lot. You yourself is a very sensitive person. Also very easy to rely on others. That's why you cry every day when you can't sleep. It's also because the dependence is suddenly gone. You can't accept it. You are now thinking of when he was good to you, now after half a year he is not so good to you. And he's not around. And he's busy. It feels like he doesn't care about you anymore. In the beginning, it was in the middle of a relationship. Sweet period, so between two people. Both will recognize each other and him well. Hope each other. Both like themselves. Or the good side. Both by the other side to see, improve their own value and charm attraction. This is a very normal stage. But after tomorrow to go after will slowly cold down also want to normal. You just can't help but find him later. I can't control myself. In fact, combined with the situation of one or two. You are a very insecure. You are very afraid of losing. Because itself the lover you said before is the one who abandoned you. So for now, you are following the fear of loss and abandonment. Otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned that karma of your ex first. You are afraid of loss, that he won't love you anymore, that he will find someone else. To put it bluntly you are very insecure. He didn't give you enough security either. There was a communication problem between the two of you. Misunderstandings and mutual incomprehension deepened. At the same time, you are a relatively introverted person. There's no communication with the outside world then that means. You have few friends too. There are very few people you can talk to. It's not a big deal. BFFs are only one or two even if you have them. But there are some things that some people can't say, and some people can say. At the same time, when you're at home alone, it's very easy to get carried away. It's very easy to get carried away, even if you're studying for your exams, you don't have the heart for it. If you can, it's best to go and communicate with him to find out what's going on. You can wait for him to rest to express your love for him. At the same time can also go to encourage him to each other.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Organize your life can be the first one or two days of indulgence, love to sleep if you sleep a day, love to brush the drama to brush a day, love to eat and drink in these two days to provide. Then start to arrange your life full up, cooking, hygiene, study, dating friends, find what you like to do, and then you will find that go to his boyfriend ~ after a few days he may come to stick to you go ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18052
       },
       {
        "question": "How do freshman girls, who are embarrassed to talk to their instructors, communicate with younger teachers?",
        "description": "Hello! I'm a freshman girl and it's been half a month since school started. In those pre-teen years I was an introvert who didn't like to socialize, and just felt like a learning tool, socializing as a white person. Later, after adulthood, recently went to college, it changed a lot, half a month to learn a lot of interpersonal communication rules, but also with some more compatible friends chat, but also made a sister, they are students. Our guide twenty-five very young, but since the beginning of the school year every time I talk to our guide is a little awkward, I do not know how to communicate with such a teacher like a senior. Because I checked in one day earlier than the others, he knew me, I also know him, when looking for him to open a school certificate, just arrived at the school what is not familiar with, and then do not know what to say, on the first impression actually feel awkward. Every time we see our guide on the expressionless do not know what to say, and then the beginning of the school year he is also quite busy, the festival I forgot to send blessings on the first day, the next day, he also replied to a same music. Then I think the teacher vacation have time to talk about what, I do not know what to talk about, I asked about the society, is the day before yesterday asked now also did not reply, I should not disturb the teacher on vacation, I intended to communicate, I think the teacher replied to the words of apology, I feel awkward do not know how to communicate with him!",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Communication, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Mr. Lu! Meeting again is a sign of destiny, so let me answer it! I don't think it's necessary to deliberately go to the teacher to communicate with you, for you this kind of social white speaking will only make yourself more abrupt! Socializing is a very deep learning, need to slowly from the practice of experience, practice is also failure, so learn to socialize from the acceptance of failure! There is also to think differently, more stand in the other's point of view to consider the problem, as far as possible can now each other's height to see the problem.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7767
       },
       {
        "question": "Emotions get out of control easily and you can't control them even when you know it's your fault?",
        "description": "Since I was a child, my emotions have been easily out of control, explosive and irritable, often losing my temper, and sometimes I can't help but be angry even when I know it's my own fault. I can't control it.",
        "keywords": "Growth, Character Refinement, Personality Traits, Self-Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It sounds like you have a lot of anger within you. Even if sometimes your reason agrees that it's your fault, your emotions still feel angry and can't be calmed. Anger is a very powerful emotion, but in our culture it's often the easiest to invite criticism, and criticism tends to lead to more anger that doesn't go away, but just gets buried and waits for an opportunity. When something comes along that can still be angry, it's easier to take advantage of the opportunity to explode all together, and from an outside perspective it looks as if the person is out of control with unreasonable rage, which brings more blame and lack of understanding, which creates a vicious cycle. If you grew up feeling more intense anger, it is also very easy to be treated as an emotional child inviting criticism, such as the above cycle continues, and may even develop emotional control problems. First of all, we need to know that there are cultural factors, there are factors in the family environment, and then there are also factors related to our own innate traits, and knowing this, we can differentiate between them. The best way to deal with anger is to be gentle but firm, principles and reason need not be denied, but emotionally as friendly as possible to yourself, understanding that dealing with anger is really not an easy thing to do, if this can let a little bit of anger to vent out, dispersed, the emotional pattern of the gradual calm, that's very good, if you still feel that they are alone difficulties, especially affecting the life of work and study, then you can also consider seeking professional If you still find it difficult to be alone, especially if it affects your life, work or study, then you may also consider seeking professional help, such as a counselor who specializes in emotional problems or has a background in autopsychology may be able to help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13669
       },
       {
        "question": "How do people cope with \"study anxiety\"?",
        "description": "Bought a lot of courses, there are a lot of books to read, a variety of punch cards, suddenly feel so tired ah time is obviously not enough, how do you all deal with? Thank you!",
        "keywords": "Behavior, Procrastination, Anxiety, Confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, I came across a very interesting topic and thought I would discuss it with you. This is the age of the information explosion, which makes it necessary for people to learn more. The days when the older generation could support themselves with one craft, the days of lifelong employment, feel like a long time ago. This current era promotes people to become lifelong learners even more. If you can calmly let yourself grow, it is actually a very good thing, but it is true that a lot of people, a lot of platforms always want to create a sense of anxiety, feeling that if you don't learn today, if you don't grow your knowledge, you are going to fall behind. This approach, in fact, I do not really agree. I think that learning is a very happy thing, something that you can see yourself grow and feel happy. Therefore, if we can establish psychologically that learning is a joyful thing, rather than a forced, anxious thing, we can think seriously about what we want to learn, rather than what the market recommends to us. When we are clear about what we want to achieve in the next stage, we can just go to the market and find resources. Fortunately, there are a lot of non-profit organizations or platforms that publish a lot of resources that we can learn for free. However, it is also true that there is a lot of paid content that is very well done. In fact, you can buy it, provided that you are clear about what you want to learn and whether the content you buy is in line with what you want. For the aspect of identifying the authenticity, to be honest, I have also encountered some poorly done community and knowledge paid content, the good thing is that it is not very expensive, and I will not buy it again. In this regard, sometimes, in addition to looking at the reviews more, if you accidentally really encountered bad content, there are two directions to choose from: one is to listen to the course content carefully to find out the information that is beneficial to you; the second is not to waste your time , put your energy into other content. Therefore, set your mind right, don't be misled by the market and make yourself anxious; secondly, find your goal and pick resources according to your goal; you can start with free resources to see if you like it, and if you want to go deeper, just go deeper and learn more. I hope it will help you. Good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 1445
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if I've been working for 4 years and still have character flaw issues with people?",
        "description": "26-year-old girl, working for four years. Usually it is okay to talk to strangers, but in the organization, I always feel burdened in my heart when I talk and do things, and I don't feel confident and uncomfortable. If you don't solve the problem, you'll think about it for a long time, and if you ask someone to do something for you, you'll feel inferior and feel that you can't do it. I don't feel confident in talking to people, and I always want to finish quickly, so it doesn't matter if I don't talk for a day in class. I don't know what I should do, and I'm troubled.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, Social Fear, Communication, Social Adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I think you have two concerns, one is that you won't be able to do things well, and the other is that you won't be valuable. To address the first point, I suggest you do more things. You say you are very unsure of yourself and worried about doing things with others. What are you worried about? Is it the fear that if you don't do things right you will suffer particularly terrible consequences, and that you won't be able to bear the consequences. These fantastical fears often haunt you and keep you from taking action. So the most important thing is to take action and do more. Yohji Yamamoto once said, \"You can't see yourself, but when you hit something else and it bounces back, you can understand yourself. Therefore, if you do more work and collide with other people and things, you will know yourself better. Go hard. By doing things more often, you will experience different situations and gain different experiences: what will happen if I do this in this situation, what will happen if I do that? What else can I do in a different situation, and what is the difference in the results I get? When you experience more, you won't be scared by your own imagination. It's like a pony crossing a river, always take two steps forward yourself, try it out, and maybe realize that the river isn't as scary as you thought it was. Do more, start with something that is a little bit of a challenge for you. Success is the affirmation of their own, write it down, look it up from time to time, encourage yourself. Failure to do the wrong thing is an even more valuable experience, and you'll realize that the outcome wasn't even as scary as you thought it was going to be. Although you do not do the right thing, but the world is still running, things will continue to go on, it turns out that in your eyes the sky big thing, may be a few words of other people to bring over, no big deal. Mistakes that you thought you could never make don't really matter much. Put yourself in someone else's place and consider how much you care about what someone else did or said wrong, how many days can you think about it? When you have the experience of doing something wrong, you will be braver. To address the second point, love yourself more. You have low self-esteem when you ask people to do things, and you always want to finish quickly when you talk to people. Are you afraid that you are not valuable enough to hold others back? In fact, everyone in the world has a unique value, you fully believe in your own value, feel good enough, the other party will also value you, respect you. And while you may now feel that your sense of worth is inadequate, an effect of your parents' attitudes on you since you were a child, you can now go about changing your views, discovering your own value, and respecting yourself. Start by loving yourself, by honoring your feelings. Like what you want, what you want to do, fulfill your needs, and value your requests. Or compliment and affirm yourself every day, and compliment each other with your friends. The more important you see yourself as, the more important you really are in a relationship. All of these concepts are formed over time, so it may take some time to change, don't rush, a little action, change will happen without you realizing it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Have done consultants know that the consulting process is a whole set of processes, many people think that the consulting process is assessment - analysis - intervention - the end, in fact, there is another procedure, that is, the establishment of consulting goals, for the establishment of consulting goals for this link, many people feel that this is a necessary process, and very casual, I used to be the same. Later, I found that many people come to counseling because they know what is wrong with them and want to correct it, but they do not have a clear understanding of what to correct and to what extent they are satisfied. Moreover, even if some people have achieved their counseling goals, their situation still remains unchanged, and then I went to look up the books, and then I found the answer in \"Counseling Psychology\". We have the tendency to seek recognition and pursue a sense of honor. Therefore, when we make mistakes, we are prone to feel that we are not good enough and have a sense of frustration, and some of us will turn to our parents for help, and if the parents give back, analyze and help the child to solve the problem in a timely manner, then the child understands where his goal lies, and he develops a correct concept of problem solving. However, if the child is not willing to seek help from his parents because of low self-esteem, or if he seeks help from his parents, but the parents do not give help, but blame, then the child will be more concerned about his own defects rather than where to go. Therefore, setting a counseling goal is a very important thing, and only when a person has a goal will he be motivated to understand where his own problems are. Therefore, reasonable and correct counseling goals are very crucial to counseling. Only with goals do we know where to go. Having said all this, I actually want to ask, what do you hope to become? What do you desire? Once that's figured out, you're halfway there. From your description, I think, you may want to solve these two problems: talking and doing things always feel burdened in the heart - not confident, not comfortable; and talk to people without confidence, always want to end quickly - interpersonal communication problems. In my opinion, these are all interpersonal problems, because you are not willing to take on other people's expectations, and other people's expectations are a burden to you. When others ask you to do things, you carry other people's expectations, and this expectation is a kind of pressure on you, even when you are interacting with others, so you feel uncomfortable, and so you come to the conclusion that you are not confident enough. When we accept help from others, we subconsciously think that we should be responsible for them, and this has something to do with our cultural tradition, where we are particularly concerned about commitment, and we think that once we make a commitment, we should fulfill that commitment. So commitment becomes a very stressful thing, and it also affects relationships if things don't get done, so this situation is not limited to you, but most people have it. In addition to this thing, whether our parents have put their dreams and expectations on their children is also a very important influence, the so-called hope that the son will become a dragon, hope that the daughter will become a phoenix, weak parents, sometimes they will impose their own dreams on their children, especially in the study, if the academic performance has dropped, the parents will be disappointed in the child, in this case the child thinks that we should meet the parents' expectations. At this time, parents' expectations become burdens and responsibilities for children. But this is all wrong. When someone asks you for help, he should thank you twice, the first time, for your willingness to help him, and the second time, for your success in helping him. You should have the perception that when someone asks you for help, you are not obliged to satisfy him, after all, you don't charge for it, you are not obliged to help him, someone asks me for help, if I can accomplish it, I will help, and if it is difficult, then I will state my problem and tell the other person that I will not be responsible for the result. For the second problem, the problem of interpersonal communication, you should understand this, we make friends is the need to choose, is to choose those who make you comfortable, and even talk you want to run away from people, which means that he is not your friend, I talk to the boss, but also want to run away, talk to hate people also want to run away, talk to the people who don't know well, also want to run away, it is not that I have an inferiority complex, but, I don't want to talk to them, with them nothing to talk about. It's not that I have an inferiority complex, but, I don't want to talk to them, there's nothing to talk to them about. Above, I'm actually talking about attribution, meaning, things happen, it's not necessarily about your low self-esteem, but, the first one is a situation that everyone has, and the second one, in addition to low self-esteem, there may be, other possibilities. In the end I hope you get out of it soon.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 16052
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it obsessive-compulsive disorder that you always feel like you can't urinate in your sleep at night?",
        "description": "Junior high school that summer make-up classes, sleep at night always feel urine, as long as there is a little bit of urine feels a lot, very uncomfortable, this serious feeling makes me insomnia for a summer vacation, and before always feel a lot of saliva secretion in the throat, is to suspect that their body seems to have a problem, may I ask is this a manifestation of obsessive-compulsive disorder?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, diagnosis of diseases, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi owner, I understand your symptoms because I used to have them too, because I was nervous and then I was very sensitive and it lasted a long time and I ran to the bathroom a lot. It could be that you are just stressed and then nervous anxious sensitive, but it could also be a physical problem. If it's from stress tension anxiety sensitivity, amplify your body's natural response. It's quiet at night, it's easy to focus on yourself, and if you can't sleep for a long time, you'll be more likely to pay attention to your body. Junior high school, is a key, time is very tight, teachers and parents want you to get good grades, giving you an invisible pressure, if there are still good grades around or almost the same classmates, easy to compare and contrast with them, the pressure is even greater. You can find a suitable way to relieve pressure, such as finding someone to talk to, listening to music, singing, painting, writing, watching the scenery, running and so on. You can wait for your graduation examination results come out, the body still have these symptoms, have to go to the hospital to check no problem, go to the psychological counselor to see. Obsessive-compulsive disorder should be ruled out first physical disease and the physiological effects of certain substances (such as drug abuse), as well as other mental disorders symptoms, your own ideas, not imposed from the outside world, these ideas are unreasonable, excessive, inappropriate, will always try to use another kind of ideas or behavior to suppress or coordinate these ideas, these ideas repeatedly, and repeat behaviors, it is very time-consuming, painful, and unwelcome. If you wait until you are not stressed, in a good environment, and still have these problems, go to the hospital for a checkup, and if the checkup is okay, go to a counselor. Relax, there is probably nothing wrong. Thanks good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 1441
       },
       {
        "question": "Why am I especially afraid of people being angry? Even when I know it has nothing to do with me.",
        "description": "Every time someone around me gets angry or has a conflict, I get especially panicked and scared, since the whole thing has nothing to do with me. I find that I will try to avoid conflicts with others, and every time there is a conflict I subconsciously think about whether I am at fault or not, and in the end, because of the conflict itself and my introspection, it will make me feel a great deal of psychological pressure, and I can't do anything anymore. If people around me are upset or angry about something, I will be in a bad mood too.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflict",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "1, it may be that you grew up experiencing a conflictual life, so that you subconsciously return to that environment, which triggers your fear and worry. In fact, the relationship between people, it is not always possible to be harmonious, after all, it is two different people, conflict and contradiction, is a very normal thing, and people have different needs. 2, you are afraid of your own, it shows that you are affected by the environment, even if the matter is not related to you. Your own fear of conflict shows that you can't handle disagreements between two people, so you keep avoiding them. However, there is a saying that everything has a crack, that's where the light comes in.3. Please allow differences to exist, it is because of differences that we can seek common ground on the basis of differences. A gentleman is a man of peace and difference.4. The fear of conflict in the surrounding environment is your own problem, not someone else's.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thanks for the invitation. It feels like there are two points here: 1. Internal attribution. We encounter things, generally will take two attribution mode, one is external attribution, eg things did not do well, because there is a pig teammate, or the boss set the task is simply impossible to complete in so short a time. The other is internal attribution, eg things did not do well, it is my ability is too poor, or I have bad clinical performance, too nervous. In your expression, when others have conflicts, you always reflect on whether you have done anything wrong first. There is an implication of internal attribution.2. Fear of conflict. There may be different reasons for this, perhaps growing up with little experience of conflict and a lack of experience in coping; perhaps there is a traumatic experience of the situation that is activated in a similar context. There could also be other reasons. If you have the opportunity, do personal growth to find out why.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 18514
       },
       {
        "question": "Are you avoiding the whole work thing by not liking your job?",
        "description": "Studied computer science in college and went to the UK for graduate school. Recently got my first job. I'm not happy at work every day, and I feel miserable when I look at the screen. Doing the direction that I don't like. My worries: 1. whether I don't like this job or I am avoiding this job thing. 2. what if I change my job and regret it. 3. this job may have a future. 4. what if I don't like this job? So every day is just a struggle. On one hand I feel miserable and on the other hand I think what if I don't. What should I do if I change my job and feel the same way again, will I regret it.",
        "keywords": "Career, Career Management, Career Choice Skills, Work Stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject, between the lines I really feel that you are torn, the pain when looking at the screen feels so real. And the realistic level of consciousness level thinking also looks very reasonable, how do we really choose? Work is an important part of every adult's life, and as this is your first job, it's normal to feel this way, because you're really standing at an important crossroads. So let's take a look at your concerns first: 1. Is it because I don't like the job, or am I avoiding the whole job thing. It seems that the pain itself is not useless, it's starting to make you curious about yourself and wanting to understand what you really want. And that's a really good thing. We first do need to know what's wrong with us before we can make choices that are right for us. The subject can ask themselves these questions below to find out exactly what they want. How did the idea of choosing a college major and going to the UK for postgraduate study come about? How did you feel and think about this specialty when you were studying? What kind of company do you work for now? How did you choose it at that time? How is it different now from what you originally imagined? What is your ideal job like. Make a list, gradually discard one item, record the order, feel your emotions and thoughts when you discard, and see what is left at last.2. What if I change my job and regret it? It seems that uncertainty about the future is one of the factors that make the questioner torn. Then you can think about the situations in which you will regret, and what these situations will bring you? Whether or not you can afford them. 3. This job may be very promising. Maybe this promising job may also be one of the reasons why the subject may worry about his regret. Each of us wants different satisfaction from our work, and the word \"promising\" has too many meanings. The subject can try to sort out her own understanding of the word. I can feel that there seems to be some helplessness behind the subject's entanglement. You can try to do the above combing, perhaps in the process you will have some different experiences and feelings. And these experiences will bring you some certainty and strength, the subject may not feel \"like nothing can be done\" and feel powerless. I hope the above answer is useful to the subject. Good luck!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10521
       },
       {
        "question": "I've been in the state sector for a year and a half now and my mind is now broken, how can I facilitate work scheduling?",
        "description": "I have been in the state-owned enterprises for a year and a half, to be honest, I am a college student into the state-owned enterprises, must be a bit of a doorway, my uncle is the director of the city bureau, the ability to transfer me back from the county bureau, the family relationship is also very good, but every time we meet to avoid the issue, and now to give him a direct pick to do what to do on what to do, he said that exercise a little while longer, because I am in the eyes of the family here, the wife and children at home, the child is still small, and here and ostracized, the family can not go back to work and heavy. I've been sidelined here, and I can't go back to my home, and my work is heavy. I now have a very bouncy mind, every day just want to go home, what should I use to promote the scheduling of this job?",
        "keywords": "Career, career management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, subject! See the words as they are. It looks like you are in a very bad situation, you can't go home, you have no family, you have a heavy workload and you are ostracized. In this kind of work environment to stay in one more day will be one more point to wear down your willpower, I feel that you are very entangled and difficult. I hope to help you sort out your blind spots and find a solution to your problems. For uncle to give you in the state-owned enterprise arrangement, it seems to be other people can't wait for the iron rice bowl, but it seems that you yourself do not buy it. But you yourself don't seem to have a clear mobility plan or career goal, you are waiting for others to arrange it. Therefore, your uncle will always use the reason of letting you exercise for a while more to stall you. \u2192 Because of thinking about your wife and children, this seems to have become the most rationalized main reason for you to want to transfer your job. When there is a lack of boundaries between family roles and workplace roles, it seems that we have no time for both, which makes you more distracted and irritable, in a bad mood, and seeing and feeling bad about the people and things around you. This thus reinforces your aversion to the work environment and makes it difficult for yourself at all times. \u2192 You talk about how you are ostracized in your work environment and how your workload is overwhelming. This exacerbates your sense of discomfort with the environment, and thus you can't get away from the physical environment, and you seem to conclude to yourself that there is no way for me to get a change. [Invitation and Suggestion] \u2460If your uncle really has the idea of exercising you, then you should adapt to the current work environment actively and quickly, and establish a supportive network of contacts. This will be helpful for your future mobilization and promotion. Uncle see your adaptation, in order to rest assured to help you toward a higher position. \u2461 For the family's thoughts, as a husband and father, take responsibility for your own work so that you can be admired by your family. Secondly, communicate more with your wife about your daily experiences and feelings, even though there may be a long distance between the two places, it will bring you closer to each other. \u2462 As a working man, having a clear and definite career plan is something that needs to be considered. If you have the conditions, it is recommended that you seek the help of a career planner to assist you in clarifying your work and career ideas, so that every step you take is clearly visible, solid and steady. I hope my answer can be a hint of inspiration and help you, I wish you a speedy adjustment of mindset, to adapt to a variety of environments. Cheer up!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I can deeply feel the feeling of being ostracized, especially when my family is not around to accompany me! Can feel deeply sidelined such a feeling, especially family are not around to accompany, and this job, but also because of the relationship between parents and the relationship between home, including this job, seems to seem like a very good job, but may not be your own really like the work. In such an environment, it is true than Yin always very stressful, and the enthusiasm of the work will fall, the first thing you should be to understand their mood to tolerate him, to see that they do not like. In fact, sometimes it is to see that is healing, when you see that you do not like to see themselves alone, see themselves very stressed or bad mood, in fact, you will also have a warmer heart. You are now working on a slower schedule, but also most of the reason is not able to lack a certain amount of energy to support, in fact, you also feel that you should go to work to complete this thing, your brain has been reminding you all the time have to go to complete this kind of work, and you are now missing is the supply of energy, and there is no motivation in this regard. I suggest is in the free time can do some of their favorite things, well, in this case can be equivalent to give themselves to replenish energy, that if you have been all the time are thinking about the work of the thing, thinking of family members are not in my side ah, but also to spend such a long period of time, and if this is the case, your energy consumption is also very much. So you can also shift some attention ah, transfer to some of their hobbies above, or find some friends ah, through the phone way to talk about it, or listen to music ah, you take a good rest, ah ah a little bit of good to yourself you will experience some energy enhancement, when you have a certain amount of energy enhancement, some positivity and energy for work, but also will slowly have some tolerance. Some tolerance. Blessings.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject. Hello First of all I am more than sure about your uncle ~ although this must make you feel bad, can you let me explain why I think that? First, in the minds of old people, state-owned enterprises mean stability. And you also mentioned that you already have a family, children! You want to give them a security in life right? Secondly, you said that your uncle is a leader and has the ability to transfer you back to the city council, but you keep avoiding the issue. You want to think of your own early out of the sea of misery, then you think of your uncle's situation how? Not to mention that our national policy wants equal competition. He helped you find this job I believe it is not so easy, right? Your own family pressure you do not coordinate with your family, to help your uncle to put pressure on this practice is really good? Thirdly, your mentality towards the job is very broken, is the job stressful, or you can't do it well, or do you think you have someone who can be changed if it doesn't work here? Do you not recognize in your heart what this job means to you? My question is rather pointed, but I still hope you can think about what you want before you make a decision. Because helping you is not an obligation. Favor such a thing used once less once. I hope I can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 586
       },
       {
        "question": "Very confused about life, can't find direction, what is the meaning of life?",
        "description": "What is the meaning of life, really confused about that, can't find the direction",
        "keywords": "Growing up, the meaning of life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello to the subject! The question itself is very meaningful, we have confusions & challenges at every stage of our life. & Existentialism is this: people are living in a meaningless universe, and human existence itself has no meaning, but people can have meaning by self-modeling and self-achievement on the basis of their original existence and living a wonderful life.1, we need to have a clear understanding of ourselves, what we need, and what we like.2, what kind of ourselves we are looking forward to, and what kind of life we are looking forward to.3, we can go to Try different life experiences to find our own value and meaning.4. We can find our own value and meaning by being in interpersonal relationships. Next, a very simple pilotstudy is introduced. The pilot first asked the subjects to fill out scales of meaning of life, life satisfaction, psychological stress, etc., and gave each subject a camera to take 9-12 photos of objects they thought were \"meaningful\" to them within a week. The camera was returned one week later with a brief description and report of the photographs, after which the scales were refilled. By analyzing the data from both the pre-test and post-test, the researchers found that after the week of photographing, the subjects' sense of meaning in their lives became clearer, and their life satisfaction increased significantly. Due to space constraints, the researchers didn't list exactly what the meaningful objects were that everyone photographed, but if I were to photograph them, I'd photograph the cutest doll above my bed, the cat's butt floor cushion in the entryway of my room, and the whale lamp on my bookshelf. Wow, about each of them I could tell a story full of meaning. I was looking at this research and thinking about the little objects I wanted to photograph, and surprisingly I really felt happy. The so-called \"meaning of life\" that we are so obsessed with finding, are we not imagining it to be too grand? Is it possible that \"meaning\" is actually something very small and mundane, like a doll, a floor mat, or a whale lamp? I hope my answer can help you in the growth of the road you are not alone, I hope we can meet each other a better self ~ ~ ~ ~ to find the meaning of life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello subject! Currently feel very confused, can not find the direction of life, can not find the meaning of life, in fact, there is a period of time, I am also so, at that time I am also the same as you, I do not know where the direction of life, I feel uninterested in anything, I would like to talk to you about my feelings, to see if it can help you. 1, find a way to be aware of their own I was going to participate in a number of activities, such as salons and courses on psychology, to learn, to be aware of what they really need deep inside. I was attending some activities, such as salons and courses on psychology, and in the course of my study, I realized what I really needed deep down in my heart. In the end, what kind of life I am willing to live that way, quiet down, to look at their own hearts, and stay with themselves, to realize their deepest needs. 2, suggest that you go to participate in some outdoor activities at that time I was extremely blocked themselves, do not want to talk, do not want to communicate with others, and unhappy, I went to participate in the desert hiking, three days and two nights in the desert hiking experience, so that I slowly come out of the state. 3, I went to participate in some activities, such as psychology salons and courses in psychology, in the study, to realize that their deepest needs? 3, in the activities to reshape their hearts, so that the heart becomes strong at that time in the hiking, see those withered in the desert is still many years to keep the original standing grass, see the ground ants, lizards, and that endless vastness of the Gobi, the original, some of their own ideas and things in their hearts, or can't get through the can in the face of nature, is so small, feel that you can go! I feel that I can face all my problems, including my own confusion and the direction of life. This is just some of my own views, I do not know if you can be of some help, I believe you can come out of this state as soon as possible.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1418
       },
       {
        "question": "I always listen to others, but no one listens to me, and I feel very lonely.",
        "description": "I am essentially a cowardly person, I also worry about various things, but I can never speak up. I have tried, but I am disappointed time and time again. It seems like most people cannot understand or care about my feelings. Sometimes when I talk to my mother, she ignores me and starts talking about unrelated topics. When I confide in someone I know, she just laughs and says, \"I thought you had something important to say.\" I know I am too sensitive, even a small hurt can sting me, so I no longer confide in people because I don't want to be let down. All my emotions are buried inside me, but I am actually very lonely.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, as a high school student, you can not only handle the heavy pressure of academics, but also be a listener for others, easing their worries. You're truly amazing! Thumbs up to you~ However, while you help others, you find yourself in a difficult situation, struggling to resolve your own negative emotions, which makes you sensitive and uncomfortable. I feel for you, and I hope my answer can help you. Recognize your own abilities and only do what you're capable of. Not everyone who appears gentle is suitable to be a listener. Before becoming a listener, we need to learn to sort out our own troubles. If we can't handle our own issues, then how can we help others? There's a saying, \"Take care of yourself first, and then help others when you can.\" As a listener, you should have this awareness. You need to take care of your own mental health first before absorbing the unhealthiness of others and having the energy to resolve it. So, the initial problem is that you took on the role of a listener, which you weren't good at and didn't qualify for, resulting in a series of subsequent troubles. It's okay to politely decline someone's confiding in you. You can choose to listen, but you can also choose to refuse. You need to have the courage to refuse without feeling guilty or accepting verbally just to make yourself uncomfortable. In your description, it can also be seen that you often attract people inexplicably. It's because of the facade you put on. Perhaps many times we say we need to learn to disguise ourselves and not easily reveal our inner world to others. But dear, you are yourself. If you bury even your most genuine thoughts and can't hear your own voice, how can you reconcile with your heart and hope for its growth, to be strong enough? Value your inner self, respect it, ask yourself if it's willing before agreeing to someone's request. Then let go of the disguise and be your true self. You don't have to pretend in front of everyone all the time, you can also express your anxiety about studying, your worries about exams, and not be constantly positive and sunny. Build your own support system. I'm too sensitive and even a little hurt can sting me, so I no longer confide in others because I don't want to be disappointed. All my emotions are buried in my heart, but in fact, I'm so lonely. I pity you for encountering frustration while seeking help which didn't ultimately alleviate your negative emotions, causing you to doubt seeking help and feeling disappointed. But I want to tell you that good listeners who can truly help you aren't found overnight, and not everyone is capable of it. You need to learn to bear the risk of failure and not be disappointed. It's hard to find someone who truly understands, but it doesn't mean they don't exist. Keep hope in your heart, and only then can you see the moonlight breaking through the clouds, find that person who will patiently listen to your inner voice, and bring warmth into your lonely heart! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, baby! Every time you dare to open your heart and express your problems, it is a manifestation of your need for self-improvement, which is very good. I completely understand your distress. You need someone to confide in, but you haven't found the right listener, so your loneliness and unhappiness cannot be resolved. It seems contradictory. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taking yourself seriously requires courage to face your inner feelings. It's easy to see that you, baby, are intelligent and attractive, which can easily win the trust of friends around you. This is indeed an advantage and can be considered a talent. If used correctly, it will definitely help us grow and be happy. From the current situation, it seems that baby has not discovered the real problem behind the problem. That is, you need to take yourself seriously, experience your unhappiness, face your loneliness, and understand whether you should embrace or reject the need for external listening at the moment. Have you ever asked yourself why you pretend to be understanding. This is guiding you to explore yourself. I believe that you will definitely benefit from listening in one of those times. This benefit may be the appearance of not being lonely surrounded by people around you, or it may be personal affirmation after a listening session. Now you need to examine the essence. Is this pretense completely fake? 1. Is it your own personality, but you are feeling unbalanced because you can't find a listener now? 2. Or are you really pretending, and you always feel irritable after listening, resisting during the listening process? You need to seriously experience this feeling and bravely face the answers in your heart. Accepting your perfection and imperfection. After being aware of yourself, maybe you have discovered your perfection and also realized your imperfections. It's okay, tell yourself, that is who you are, your true self. Therefore, we must first serve ourselves. Listen to your own thoughts. If you don't like being approached or asked to be a listener, then boldly express your refusal. Of course, just as we don't want to be rejected when we want to be listened to, we should express it in a tactful way. \"Afraid of hurting others, feels cowardly\", this may simply mean that you, baby, need to be listened to, surrounded, and cared for. However, it doesn't mean that you don't like being a listener, but that your inner strength is not enough to become the person you need to be. Accepting your imperfections requires self-affirmation. Even if you don't become a listener, you can still confide in yourself and deserve to be listened to and cared for by others. A piece of advice: Many times, when our needs cannot be met by ourselves, we tend to seek externally. If we get it, everyone is happy and everything feels natural. But sometimes we can't find it, and now we see that not finding it is also a common thing. In that case, let's continue to serve ourselves. This is different from \"I no longer confide in others because I don't want to be disappointed with all my emotions buried in my heart.\" We can express our feelings through a journal or become stronger through exercise, broaden our horizons through music. Come on, baby. Maybe one day, you will find that while you are growing, you have gained your own fans. .................................... In high school, we have the enviable youth and the unique melancholy of youth. We need to let go of ourselves and also to be able to express ourselves. The most important thing is self-growth and reflection. Our goal may not be to become a rare genius, but we can grow into our own confidant. The sky is blue, you are here, life can be beautiful! The world, I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear friend. It pains me to see what you're going through, so first, I want to give you a hug. For many people, they may be good at expressing their desires and thoughts, such as what they are currently thinking and what they need. However, not everyone is capable of truly stopping and listening to others' thoughts and feelings. And I think you're probably one of these gentle and self-restrained individuals. You have a strong sense of empathy and are willing to understand others' perspectives, and it's no wonder that you are well-liked. However, you may be too focused on other people's opinions of you and trapped by their expectations, forgetting to listen to your own needs. Even the kindest and most compassionate person has the right to say no when faced with unreasonable requests from others. This is your right, and it has nothing to do with others' opinions. I understand that someone with a pure and delicate heart like yours may feel upset and hurt when faced with the neglect of their own needs and thoughts. But it is precisely because of this that you should try bravely to express your thoughts to others. Personally, I strongly agree with your decision to cut ties with the person who treated you as an emotional dumping ground. However, you shouldn't let your grievances and discontent accumulate to the point of wanting to vent it all out. Acting out of anger often leads to irrational actions and may even harm yourself. If you want to receive genuine attention, you need to courageously communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly. Start with small things in your daily life, such as what you want to eat or not eat today. No matter how others initially react, you must begin to express your inner needs. Take it slow, and things will eventually get better. Wishing you well, from a little mushroom who hopes for a gentle world and wishes you the time to grow freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, Loulou! This is Aliang, someone who is willing to be your little ray of sunshine. Here, Aliang wants to give you a big hug. Hug you! After reading Loulou's words, Aliang also understands Loulou's anxiety because in many cases, Aliang actually plays an opposing role to Loulou. In real life, Aliang is more of a storyteller and rarely acts as a listener because the listener is easily influenced by the other person's emotions. If one does not have good self-control, it is actually not suitable to be a listener. Regarding the problems that trouble Loulou, Aliang wants to analyze them from a personal perspective: \"How to solve the identity of being a listener.\" From Loulou's words, Aliang sees that Loulou is actually someone who is easily regarded as a venting object by others, and this is largely related to Loulou's \"personality.\" In real life, people tend to show their negative side to someone who appears \"gentle\" in character. When they completely vent their grievances, they experience a great sense of relief in their own hearts. However, most of the time, a person venting does not consider what the listener feels. They need to say everything and hope to be understood and recognized by the listener, needing the listener to have the same \"empathy\" as them. They hope you will comfort them. At this time, the suggestions you give may not necessarily be accepted by the other person. Loulou does not like this feeling, so communication is necessary with them. Because Loulou is not their exclusive audience, you also have your own things to deal with, so when they talk to you about something, Loulou can refuse them. We are not obligated to listen to other people's negative energy, so Loulou does not need to be anxious. Loulou also doesn't need to pretend to be a very kind person. Sometimes, being your true self can also gain friendships. \"Saying goodbye to inner insecurity,\" Loulou understands why they have these troubles themselves, because of insecurity and fear. These negative emotions, to some extent, exist in each of us. However, sometimes we need to overcome our own inner insecurities. Loulou also mentioned their tendency to avoid problems, but sometimes we understand that avoiding problems is not useful. The existence of these problems is largely due to our spiritual world not being rich enough. Because when we have a sense of abundance in a certain aspect, we will not fear our inner insecurities and anxieties. Sometimes, if we really don't know how to take that step forward, we can read more books, find a common point among those examples, and proceed based on that in conjunction with reality. The above is Aliang's personal insight for Loulou, hoping it can be helpful. In the future, Aliang will be here together with Loulou, encouraging each other. Keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, let me commend you, the author of the original post. You are able to express your thoughts sincerely, which shows that you have taken a step towards self-improvement. Reading your description, I can understand and empathize with you. Here are some suggestions that I hope can help you. First, be true to yourself. You have been living according to the opinions of others for a long time. They think of you as a good listener, so your kind heart has led you to compromise and become the person they want you to be. But what about yourself? You have considered their feelings but neglected your own true emotions. Over time, this has become a habit, which may result in suppressed emotions and sensitivity. Therefore, what you need to do now is no longer be a listener in the eyes of others, get rid of your emotional baggage, and rediscover your true self. Secondly, when you confide in others, make them realize that you do need help. Because the people around you are used to confiding in you, and you simply accept without seeking a solution. So when you start confiding in others, they subconsciously feel that you can handle it on your own and don't need their response. As a result, they may appear indifferent. Over time, you will feel heartbroken, lost, disappointed, and stop having any expectations of the people around you, feeling lonely. Therefore, when you want to confide in someone, change your previous compliant attitude, be a bit more firm, and let others realize that you do indeed face difficulties that cannot be digested or solved on your own, and that you need their help. These are the solutions I propose for this situation. I hope they can help you. Wishing you an intimate friend soon and happiness always with you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Before analyzing your problem, I\u2019d like to share a true story with you. I believe this story may provide some insights into your current situation. One day, a customer called the human resources department and said, \"All the products I bought in your store yesterday have expired. How do you manage your products? How could expired goods be sold?\" Employee Xiao Li replied, \"Expired goods? That's impossible. How could our store have expired goods? We have dedicated staff members who check the shelf life of products.\" The customer said, \u201cAre you implying that I\u2019m lying?\u201d Xiao Li answered, \u201cIt\u2019s hard to say.\u201d The customer persisted, \u201cI want to speak to the person in charge and demand a reasonable explanation.\u201d Xiao Li apologized and said, \u201cI work in the human resources department and I\u2019m not responsible for product management. I don't know the specific details. I suggest you call the customer service hotline.\u201d Okay, the dialogue scene ends here. You might think Xiao Li\u2019s actions were unnecessary because this issue was beyond their department\u2019s scope, and they couldn't provide the customer with a satisfactory solution. Why didn't they immediately interrupt and provide the correct complaint channel to the customer when they heard the customer\u2019s first sentence? Why make the customer go around in circles? Why play the role of a middleman? Now, let's return to your question, why do others always tell you things you don't want to hear? You have already analyzed it clearly. You pretend to understand and sympathize. Simply put, you want to be seen as a kind person who is willing to listen to others' complaints. Whatever others throw at you, you won\u2019t stop them at the first moment. Have you heard of the \"broken windows theory\"? This theory comes from an experiment conducted by psychologist Phillip Zimbardo at Stanford University in 1969. He took two identical cars, one parked in a middle-class neighborhood in Palo Alto, California, and the other parked in the relatively disorderly Bronx area of New York. The license plate was removed from the car in the Bronx, and it was stolen on the same day. The car in Palo Alto was ignored for a week. Later, Zimbardo smashed the window of the car in Palo Alto with a hammer. What happened? A few hours later, it disappeared. Based on this experiment, they concluded: if someone breaks a window of a building and it is not repaired, others may tolerate and break more windows. Ultimately, these broken windows create a sense of disorder. The broken windows theory suggests that if negative phenomena in the environment cannot be effectively resolved, people may imitate or even exacerbate these phenomena. This phenomena is referred to as the broken windows effect in the field of criminal psychology. Finally, I want to correct a misunderstanding: feeling lonely is not necessarily related to whether one has companionship. The feeling of loneliness is related to a lack of nonverbal communication and the ability to feel loved. This means that loneliness and emptiness cannot be solved solely through verbal companionship. I hope you can let go of the \"masks\" and \"roles\" in social situations and truly listen to your inner voice, opinions, and thoughts. When helping others, consider your own abilities, but don't portray yourself as a \"savior\" - that will only exhaust you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello! After carefully reading your question, I feel so sorry for what you're going through. Here's a strong hug for you, and I hope my answer can be helpful to you. The fact that you're a high school student and already a good listener shows that you are worthy of others' reliance. However, you are also trapped in distress: firstly, no one is willing to listen to others, and secondly, you don't want to always be the emotional dumping ground. I have had a similar experience to yours. People often confide in me, thinking that I am trustworthy, and they unload their negative emotions on me to digest by myself, which makes me very distressed. The most memorable instance was one morning when I was in a good mood. After breakfast, I was preparing to go to work happily when a friend called me repeatedly. Worried that something was wrong, I hung up and called back. It turned out that he hadn't completed his work due to his own problems, and the boss had criticized him by name in the group chat. He told me how difficult his work was and how the boss was unsympathetic. He kept talking on the phone, forgetting to bring the books he had prepared for the students the night before. He poured all the negative emotions onto me, and my mood also became negative. Forgetting to take the books made me unable to give the students their class, leading me to have a terrible mood for the rest of the day. I realized that this was not a healthy situation. #Politely refuse# If you are not a very close friend who is willing to listen to his venting, when he pours negative emotions onto you, you can politely refuse. When someone pours negative emotions onto you, you can say, \"I'm sorry, I just remembered that I haven't finished my homework yet. I have to go and do it.\" Find a suitable listener# It seems that you have not found a listener who understands and is willing to listen to you. Even your mother is not good at listening to you, which is really disappointing. Not everyone is capable of being your listener, but it doesn't mean you can't find one. Get to know more friends, communicate with more people, and you will definitely find someone. Take care! You are loved by me and the whole world!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I would like to thank you on behalf of those who trust you. It is not your obligation or responsibility to listen, but rather your kindness and appreciation for these emotional connections that make you willing to be their emotional dumping ground. So, when you no longer want to be someone's emotional dumpster, be direct and honest about it, without overly worrying about other people's feelings or feeling guilty. You are not obligated to listen to them. If you can't find someone willing to listen to you, you can speak up on this platform. There are many people in this world who are willing to listen to you, and there are also many strangers who are willing to accept and encourage you. May you always be treated with gentleness in this world!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Others confide in you because they trust you and see you as reliable. Being trusted by others is a blessing. If you have your own things to do or don't feel like listening, you can politely let them know and suggest an outlet for them to confide in, like this platform. That way, you can focus on your own affairs while still receiving gratitude from others. I am a high school student, and it seems that I am naturally a good listener, which makes it easy for others to depend on me. One of my classmates is immature and emotional, and because I always listen to him, he sees me as a gentle person and relies on me as a shoulder to lean on. When you become aware of your kindness, try not to have any negative thoughts about others or end the friendship because of it. In fact, being relied on by others can make you feel responsible for a life. Through the process of listening and providing guidance, you will deeply experience this responsibility. It will make you feel needed and bring you a sense of peace and happiness. However, if you feel disconnected or even disgusted by others' dependence, perhaps it's not a need that comes from within you. I understand. You say that no one listens to you and you feel lonely. That's because some love must start from ourselves first, and then we will receive in return. Treat others as you wish to be treated. We must understand that negative experiences from the past only affect us because we allow them to control our current behavior. We can start making changes from small details in the present, showing kindness to others, doing good deeds, or even just smiling. The more gentle we speak, the more likely we are to receive kind responses.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You will find many older brothers, sisters, uncles, and aunts who care for you, love you, have the ability to calm down and listen to your voice, give you professional advice, and heartfelt \"hugs\" above. You are more mature and introverted than your peers, and they rely on you. You really want to grow up quickly and manage your emotions well, but the emotional trash can also has its limits. If it goes beyond that range, it will hurt yourself and others like a volcanic eruption. You are very clever, able to discern the difference between sympathy and liking in your heart. This potential is not seen by others, so you think you are being liked and sensitive, which makes you angry and isolated. In fact, you are really kind (this is not a disguise, it is an advantage that others truly see). Because you are afraid of hurting others, you can only find excuses to evade. When you were young, you always wanted to grow up and have invincible abilities to help others, but when you grow up, you find the insignificance and powerlessness of human beings. Everyone has different worries at different stages. Some people like to vent and hope that someone will listen and help, while others prefer to read and digest things on their own without speaking out. There is no right or wrong, just different traits, different growth environments, and different processes and costs of growth. If you always feel hurt and don't want to be disappointed by not sharing with others, then learn how to avoid getting hurt first. This ability to learn in solitude may become a charm (your unique charm), or letting capable people see your emotions is also a way~ then you won't be disappointed anymore. Change your way of thinking, whether to speak or not is your own choice, and avoiding anger and escaping from the emotional trash can is also a method.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13371
       },
       {
        "question": "It is not appropriate to provide guidance or support for self-harm or harmful behaviors. If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm or mental health issues, it is important to seek professional help from a healthcare provider or counselor.",
        "description": "\"I am a 12-year-old girl in the sixth grade. The day before yesterday, I self-harmed by cutting my arm with my art knife. Today, my scar was accidentally seen by my mom. At that time, I made up excuses to brush it off, but I'm afraid of being caught again in the future. Where are some places where self-harm is less likely to be noticed by others?\"",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-harm, hypochondria, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello! Sending you a big hug. I'm not sure what you're going through that's causing you so much stress and leading you to self-harm. But I think what you need is not figuring out ways to avoid your family finding out, but rather taking care of yourself. 1. Think about the recent negative emotions and try to identify the specific reasons or events behind them. Consider discussing your emotional issues with your family or teacher to see if they have any solutions or suggestions for you. 2. Protect yourself. No matter what difficulties you encounter, you shouldn't direct your emotions towards self-harm. Put away any tools that could be used to harm yourself, and avoid adding any further stimulation to yourself. 3. Use healthy methods to regulate your emotions, such as talking to friends, doing things you enjoy, going for a walk, exercising, or picking up your interests and hobbies again. I hope you can adjust your state as soon as possible. Looking forward to seeing the sunny side of you. Take care! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3215
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it necessary to persist in a relationship when both parties have failed their college entrance examination and are unwilling to let go?",
        "description": "I am a girl, and both of us failed in the college entrance examination. We have had a sexual relationship and I am reluctant to let go, but he is avoiding me. Is it necessary for me to continue entangling in this relationship?",
        "keywords": "Love, dependency, attachment, arguments, sexual behavior.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello girl, although it is just a few words, I can see the conflicting emotions you are facing right now. Along with the disappointment in the college entrance exam, your relationship is also facing a crisis. Sending you a big hug, hoping to provide you with some warmth and support! I want to ask you, what made you start dating in the first place? What attracted and valued each other the most? And what led to the current situation? When you ask, \"Is it necessary to entangle anymore?\", why did you use the word \"entangle\"? Can we replace it with \"continue\"? And is the decision to continue based solely on \"not willing to let go after being physically intimate\"? Have you carefully considered these questions? Don't rush, give yourself some time to sort things out before making a decision. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11124
       },
       {
        "question": "I have never experienced it before, so why did I suddenly lose control after drinking recently?",
        "description": "I have always had a high alcohol tolerance and have never lost control after drinking. The day before yesterday, my girlfriend invited friends over to our house, and midway through, she called one of her ex-husband's friends. I had some objections in my mind but didn't say anything. They kept discussing her ex-husband, so I told my girlfriend to stop mentioning him. She completely ignored my words, and in that moment, I don't know why, but I suddenly said, \"Stop mentioning him, for f**k's sake\" (it could also be because her daughter was there, and I found this topic distasteful. I really adore her daughter - she's naughty and cute). That friend of her ex-husband then snapped at me, and I don't remember anything after that. The next day, they said that I physically attacked him, and even my girlfriend. Despite my deep love for my girlfriend, even though she is much older than me, I am willing to give up everything for her and have been striving for her. I never thought I would physically attack him, and this is the first time in my life that I have acted so out of control after drinking. I have been everywhere apologizing, but I have not been forgiven. I am overwhelmed with shame.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, violence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, pre-marital violence? Or after drinking alcohol? A woman's second marriage is already a painful and harmful thing. When seeking love again, one must proceed with caution. Your violence has already shattered her defenses, especially since she has a young daughter and needs a rational and safe support system. From the perspective of a psychological counselor, if there is violence, the advice for women is to support them in getting divorced. This is in line with laws, ethics, protection of the vulnerable, and saying no to violence and male privilege. Because if there is violence once, there will definitely be a second and a third time. Only by quitting drinking and cultivating one's own inner self can the need for irreparable harm be avoided. If reconciliation is possible, her first marriage would not have fallen apart. Please restrain yourself and seek new relationships. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12302
       },
       {
        "question": "How to improve the relationship when there is no common language and communication with my husband?",
        "description": "My husband is always out and rarely comes home. Today he's hanging out with this friend, tomorrow he's going to drink with that friend, and it's a common occurrence for him to come home at one or two in the morning. We have had many unpleasant arguments about this, and I've even mentioned divorce, but he continues to do as he pleases. I'm anxious about his health on one hand, and on the other hand, I'm angry because we can't communicate and have nothing to say to each other. This has been going on for three or four years, and I don't know how much longer I can endure it. I don't know how to break this stalemate.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The OP and her husband have no common language and he is unwilling to communicate with her. They have had many unpleasant incidents because he doesn't come home at night and goes out with friends. I want to improve their relationship, and I think the first step is for them to understand each other. It is obvious that although the OP and her husband live under the same roof and have been married for many years, they do not understand each other. A simple question, why does the OP's husband go out with friends and drink every night? Is it to relax or is he avoiding coming home? If he felt relaxed and loved at home, why would he not want to come home? The OP should also show more concern for his work and life. Replace quarrels with gentle words and accusations with being cute, truly try to understand each other from each other's perspective and understand what the other person needs.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 55,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 55,
            "end": 84,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 84,
            "end": 202,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 202,
            "end": 274,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11559
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling extremely shy at work and fed up with everything in the world? Want to break free?",
        "description": "Social anxiety disorder, I am extremely shy at work, always feeling like others are staring at me. It's even worse during social gatherings, my heart beats fast, I don't know where to look or where to put my hands, everything I say feels awkward. I hope my colleagues don't notice me, and I become even more shy around male colleagues, quickly blushing and feeling embarrassed. It seems like others think I have ulterior motives, but I don't! And I feel like my colleagues don't like me. The physical symptoms of this illness make me tired and miserable. If I were to donate my organs after death, can I avoid going to hell? I've had enough of everything in this world, whether it's people or things, I just feel unhappy and want to find relief.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! *Social anxiety, shyness, always feeling like others are watching you, heart pounding during social gatherings, feeling awkward about where to look or place your hands, feeling embarrassed about what to say, and thinking that your colleagues don't like you. It's exhausting and painful, feeling unhappy and wanting to break free. The symptoms you mentioned are classic symptoms of social anxiety disorder. People with social anxiety disorder often have a pounding heart and feel uncomfortable in crowded places. This is not caused by your personality itself, but rather unresolved psychological issues. Once you overcome social anxiety, you can return to normal social interactions. If possible, I suggest you communicate with your supervisor about your situation and try to reduce some social gatherings. If it's necessary for your job to handle these situations, you can consider finding a less stressful job where you don't have to interact with so many people. In your free time, you can focus on therapy for social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety is a psychological problem that can be alleviated or cured through psychological counseling, so please don't do anything desperate. You need to recognize the problem and then find a solution. As the saying goes, illness comes like a mountain and leaves like a thread. Once your social anxiety is relieved, you may not feel so uncomfortable anymore! Keep going! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9365
       },
       {
        "question": "My parents rarely care about me. My academic performance is not good, and I want to leave this world.",
        "description": "Dad and mom rarely care about me. When they do, it's usually when I've made a mistake. They often send me to cram school at night. I know they are busy with work, but they hang out with friends of the opposite sex and my academic performance is not good. I just want to give up.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, pathological personality, psychological counseling, sharing and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, you mentioned three issues: parenting, friendships with the opposite sex, and academic performance. Let's discuss each of them separately. First, the issue of parenting. It seems that many parents only pay attention to their children when they make mistakes. However, this does not mean that they do not love you. As you mentioned, they are busy with work. Moreover, many parents, although they love their children, may not necessarily know how to express their love. They have their limitations. If they did not receive much love or attention when they were younger, they may not know how to give their children more care. I can understand your grievances and dissatisfaction with your parents' neglect, but if you cannot change them, you can try to adjust your own attitude and try to understand your parents. You can also make an effort to communicate with them, express your feelings and expectations. If you don't speak up, your parents may not necessarily know. They might think that by paying attention to you when you make mistakes, they have fulfilled their parental responsibilities. Secondly, the issue of friendships with the opposite sex. Friends are not the only ones in life. Since they are just friends, you must accept this fact. They are your friends, but they can also have their own circle of friends. Are you concerned that your opposite-sex friend is getting close to others because you have feelings for them that go beyond friendship? Do you want to take the relationship further? If you have other thoughts, perhaps you can make an effort to pursue it. Lastly, the issue of academic performance. Academic performance is not innate or unchangeable. If you care about it, maybe you can work harder. Your parents send you to tutoring classes, which can be a valuable resource. Maybe you can take advantage of this resource and put in more effort. However, academic performance is not the most important thing in life, and it should not be the reason to give up on your own life. Sending you hugs, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16384
       },
       {
        "question": "I think I have good qualities, so why am I still single while everyone around me is in a relationship?",
        "description": "Girls, who think that their conditions are not bad and have always been praised as beautiful and elegant since they were young. They have good relationships with others and perform well in their studies. However, it seems that their luck in love has always been poor. Several roommates who I feel have average conditions either have had boyfriends for a long time or have been confessed to multiple times. Why am I always single? I can't understand it. Am I really that bad?",
        "keywords": "Dating, single, relationship management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Your own conditions are pretty good, you are beautiful and have a good temperament, overall you are doing great. However, your romantic luck has been poor. Even roommates who are average-looking already have boyfriends, but you have been single all along without anyone pursuing you. This makes you feel very confused and a little inferior. Generally, we would think that attractive girls must have a constant stream of admirers around them. But that's not the case. In most situations, those girls who are average-looking or have above-average conditions tend to have more pursuers. This is because before boys pursue someone, they also consider how compatible the girl is with them. If the girl's conditions are too good, they will definitely hesitate. If the girl's conditions are similar to their own, boys will feel more confident in pursuing her. Besides, those love-at-first-sight situations are very rare. If you want to meet the boy you like, staying in the dormitory every day is definitely not enough. You should go out more, participate in activities, and have the chance to interact with more boys and showcase yourself to others. This is the way to win love. So, OP, there's no need to be self-pitying and feel sad about this. If you want to be in a relationship, you can try to be more outgoing, go out more often, make some friends, and more people will get to know you. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Personality also matters. If a woman is slightly outgoing, men will tend to like her more. Maybe you want a boyfriend, but the men you meet are not very outstanding or you don't find them attractive. When someone pursues you and you show no response, they will stop pursuing, or if you are more aloof and someone approaches you to talk or start a conversation, you always act aloof, and they feel that there is no hope and stop pursuing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3746
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I go to the breakup dinner proposed by the man because our personalities don't match?",
        "description": "We got engaged and lived together for a year and a half. During that time, we constantly quarreled and broke up and got back together. Now we have finally decided to break up. I am going back to my hometown and my boyfriend has suggested meeting one last time for a meal before I leave. Actually, I am very sad and reluctant to do so. I really want to see him, but I know I will cry and lose even the last bit of dignity. Should I go?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! First of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. It sounds like you have been engaged to your ex-boyfriend for quite a long time, but have been constantly arguing and breaking up. This time, your ex-boyfriend suggested having a farewell dinner and you are torn about whether to go or not. First of all, if you know that going would make you cry, feel sad, or be reluctant to let go, then I suggest you not go. Because if you give in to your softer emotions, you may end up getting back together, but the problems will still exist and you might break up again shortly afterwards. This relationship will continue to torment you endlessly. So, my suggestion this time is that you don't go, and I also suggest that you don't get back together. Why? Because from what I understand, you mentioned that you have been living together for a year and a half, which is not a short time, but the constant arguments indicate that you two are truly incompatible. I believe you have tried many times to change, but without success. The disappointments have taken a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. Personally, I think the chances of the two of you reconciling are really low. If you couldn't resolve the issue of incompatible personalities even when you were talking about marriage, it means that this problem is truly irreconcilable. However, you are very rational, as you have chosen to separate instead of forcing yourselves to get married. Because if you do, it will be a lifetime of frustration. Since you have already taken the brave step of breaking up, don't look back anymore. Most of us will encounter more than one person we like in our lifetime, but not everyone we meet can go the distance. So cherish the beautiful memories from the past and confidently move forward. Don't give yourself the chance to turn back anymore. The better things that belong to you are ahead, so just keep moving forward. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If possible, it is beneficial for you to have a formal farewell when you break up so that you can move on from the sadness. The original poster said that we were engaged and lived together for a year and a half, during which we constantly argued and broke up and got back together. Now we have finally decided to break up, and I will return to my hometown. My boyfriend suggested meeting one more time for a meal before I leave. Actually, I am very sad and reluctant, I really want to see him, but I know I will cry, and I will lose even the last bit of dignity. Should I go? Natural and pure sadness is a form of healing. If you want to cry when you see him, just cry! Don't suppress yourself, life is too bitter, and we are easily confronted with some tragedies. If we have no guidance, the first emotion we will naturally experience is sadness. This natural emotional process is actually the most natural way of healing. When we cry for the tragedies in our lives, it is the most natural process of embracing the truth of our own lives. Of course, besides this, we should also try to think about the problem with a positive cognitive pattern, like this: he also has the right to choose his loved one, and I should not blame him; after breaking up with him, I will have the opportunity to find a better person. This kind of cognitive shift will bring you a completely new feeling, you will gain a long-lost sense of freedom, feel that the world is spacious and bright, and be able to shift your focus to work and interests, starting a new life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Through your short text, I can still feel your sadness, pain, sorrow, and the urgent desire to see your ex-fianc\u00e9. Because of what you have experienced, I have also experienced it vividly 10 years ago. I really want to give you a hug. You said that there were constant arguments during cohabitation, and finally, after breaking up multiple times, you have decided to separate. Finally, I think this must have been a very difficult decision for you. Perhaps, countless times in your heart, you wanted to break up and countless times you overturned that thought. Finally, you made the decision to break up, and I think you must have gathered a tremendous courage to start a new life. Your ex-boyfriend suggested having a meal together before you leave, and I think he also feels reluctant to let you go. Perhaps both of you understand in your hearts that you are not suitable for each other, but for those people whom we have loved (maybe you still love him at this moment), having a meal together before leaving may be considered as a perfect ending for this relationship. Because once some people turn around, they may never meet again in this lifetime. However, the memories that this person brought to you will not be wiped away from your life with his departure. Since the moment you met him, he has already become a part of your life. Now that you have decided to separate, this meal may be a blessing to each other. Although your separation has caused mutual harm, at least in the end, you both bless each other. You said you were afraid that you would cry and it wouldn't be dignified. In my opinion, shedding tears while bidding farewell to each other also proves that you have truly and deeply loved each other. Don't be afraid of tears, as they not only serve as evidence of your past love, but they will also bring new life to you. I wish you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ I understand your feelings very well, sending you a hug~ It's unfortunate that it ended up like this, with the guy suggesting a farewell dinner, leaving you unsure whether to go or not. In my opinion, either choice is fine. If it were me facing this decision \u20141. If the breakup is already certain and it feels like there's no possibility of continuing, I would lean towards not going. Because going would be awkward, sad, and tearful, but it's already destined to separate, so why put myself through this? If he doesn't want to accompany you anymore, believe that there are people willing to be with you and believe that you deserve to be loved. You still need to love yourself on the path to the future, and right now, it seems better to let go a little. 2. If you feel that there may still be a chance and that having the farewell dinner might lead to reconciling, I suggest you go and give it another try. \"Leaving was heartbreaking, and I thought I would collapse, but at the most painful moment, I felt the clearest.\" If you want to reconcile, you must address those issues, which may be related to communication or personalities. But these are all things that can be resolved, requiring effort from both individuals. Reconciliation should not involve compromising yourself. Whether you decide to go or not, it's your own choice, and it's okay. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15350
       },
       {
        "question": "The mayor of the United States is crying in pain and being criticized. Why do I feel empathy for him alone?",
        "description": "I don't understand why the mayor of America is criticized for crying for Floyd, they say he is a politician putting on a show, and they even say he wants to be president and go to Washington. I feel like he is smiling and laughing with tears in his eyes. Why doesn't anyone think he genuinely loves the people when he is so young and handsome? They're all mocking him. I feel sorry for him. Am I too sympathetic and not rational enough? He doesn't even know me, how can I stop being so presumptuous?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, I give you a thumbs up, you really deserve it. Remember, this is empathy, not sympathy. Even sympathy is not a bad thing, he does not lack confidence. In fact, sometimes people who look good also have a good-hearted and kind personality. Keep being kind, fill the world with love, the world is loving you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19771
       },
       {
        "question": "In a relationship for 4 years, I want to have a physical relationship with my girlfriend, but she has always been unwilling.",
        "description": "I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for four years. I want to have sexual intercourse, but she doesn't want to. Two years ago, I brought up the idea, and I have been patient for over two years now. I feel like I can't bear it anymore and I want to ask for advice from you guys. Is there any way to change my girlfriend's mind? I really love her. She says she loves me too, but she can't do it.",
        "keywords": "Love, relationship management, sexual activity.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I understand your pain, and it's clear that you two are deeply in love. Men and women have different physiological structures, so it's important to understand and communicate with each other. While sexual intercourse may not be possible, you can still engage in activities like kissing, holding hands, and hugging. Additionally, you can communicate your inner thoughts and feelings, engage in shared interests and hobbies, and develop a strong emotional bond. In my personal opinion, there are many forms of love and intimacy that don't necessarily involve being intimate in bed. (Of course, if it were possible, that would be ideal, haha!) As a woman, I can understand your girlfriend's perspective. Some girls prefer to wait until marriage to engage in sexual activities. Personally, during my student years, I also didn't want to engage in sexual behavior. Women tend to have a more noticeable sexual desire after the age of 25, as their sexual organs are internal and more shielded, unlike men. So, it's important to understand and respect these differences. On a deeper level, societal expectations and norms can make women hesitant about having sex. For instance, if an unexpected pregnancy were to happen, the physical burden and potential health risks usually fall on the woman. Additionally, society tends to judge and criticize girls for not being virtuous enough, although this is not my personal view and everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Moreover, abortion can have psychological effects. Even if precautions are taken, there are still risks involved. This cautious approach towards sex among girls is also due to the fact that after the hymen, which serves to protect the vagina, is stretched (it already has a natural opening), it becomes easier for bacteria and other microorganisms to enter the woman's body (for example, when using the restroom or if underwear isn't properly cleaned). As a result, women are more prone to various gynecological issues, which can be quite challenging and worrying. Changing the mindset around sex is not an easy task, but you can try to communicate and understand the differences in physiological structures between men and women, as well as the importance of sex in a relationship. However, if your girlfriend is still not willing to discuss this topic, it's best to respect her boundaries, especially considering her student status. Maybe... if a boy were to get a vasectomy, it might alleviate some of the concerns for the girl (as there are many cases of unintended pregnancies and abortions nowadays)? Oh, but that's just a hypothesis. At the same time, I wish both of you a future filled with happiness, and I hope that one day women can truly enjoy sexual pleasure and freedom just like men! Amen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Have you discussed each other's values \u200b\u200bon sex during such a long period of being together? What are your views and feelings about sex? And within the four years, the other party has consistently refused to have sexual relations with you. What is their explanation? The other party's values \u200b\u200bon sex are that it should only happen within marriage. Or maybe they are not ready to have sex with you yet, as they feel that your relationship has not progressed to that stage? Or is it possible that they do not actually enjoy having sex, but they still want to have a marital or partnership relationship?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It has been four years since I started dating my girlfriend. Besides thinking about having a sexual relationship, should we also consider getting married? For women, marriage is like a safe shell for sexual relationships, not just love. It is difficult to change this mindset, unless society progresses further and truly connects sex with love, instead of marriage. In order for sexual attitudes to progress without traditional cultural support, young men and women need to break through through their experiences, and there needs to be individuals who propose corresponding ideas and slogans to defend and support them from a deeper cultural level, such as freedom, happiness, and rights. However, currently, strict regulations make everyone fear for their own safety, and we haven't reached a point where people willingly take that step forward.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15642
       },
       {
        "question": "\"I am a 20-year-old female college sophomore, and recently I have been constantly feeling down. Could it be depression?\"",
        "description": "Recently, but actually thinking about it carefully, it has been a long time, even back in junior and senior high school, it would often happen. I always thought it was because of my parents always talking about me and finding faults. In junior and senior high school, I had planned suicide and running away from home several times. I even wrote two suicide letters, but it didn't happen in the end. After starting college, I tried to avoid contacting my family as much as possible, so I rarely went home. My condition improved a lot. Recently (around three to five months), due to the pandemic, I was forced to attend online classes at home, which inevitably led to me feeling like before. It's fine during the day if nothing happens, but if I'm criticized, my mood will become low. I don't want to sleep at night and want to stay up. Sometimes I feel really uncomfortable. Nowadays, during the day, besides attending classes, I usually watch anime or play games to entertain myself. I procrastinate on my assignments and don't want to do anything. At night, I stay up and don't sleep. I feel like I've been watching anime and playing games all the time because it allows me to not think about anything and stay foolish. I stay up late at night because I feel like that's the only time I have to myself when I'm alone in bed. However, now I always feel low and uncomfortable at night and want to die. Because of this, I've also self-learned a lot about psychology, but I still don't know if what I have can be considered depression. Sigh, I want to seek counseling but don't have the money, and I want to tell someone but I'm afraid to say it, especially to my parents (I can't write anymore, let it be like this).",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The original message is: \n\"Lately, the OP's mood has not been good. Hugs to you! Actually, you have been trying to regulate yourself! Going to college means getting away from the things that bother you at home, but the circumstances of the epidemic have made you upset again. Actually, your parents care about you, and maybe they just find fault as a way to vent their work-related problems. But they definitely love you. It seems like you have been relatively idle at home, maybe you haven't been helping your parents with household chores, so you receive a lot of complaints. And you have been constantly binge-watching and entertaining yourself, which shows a lack of self-discipline. When you realize that you don't like this situation, your mood becomes low. Don't think that feeling down means you have depression. This kind of thinking is incorrect. When you are dissatisfied with the current situation, you are eager to find a breakthrough to prove that you are not like this, and then depression becomes your excuse. What are your interests and hobbies? You can subconsciously develop yourself during this abundant time. It's the best opportunity for self-improvement! During the epidemic, I studied programming and writing and also worked out, which earned me some earnings and gave me abs. When I felt lost and wanted to change but didn't take action, my mood also became low. But after putting in effort, this kind of mood became positive and optimistic! I hope the OP can overcome this slump soon. I hope this can help you.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19510
       },
       {
        "question": "Worried about whether to quit and switch jobs due to concerns about my ability, I am truly torn.",
        "description": "I am a designer, and my professional skills are average, which has led to being fired from my previous jobs after just one month. I do study in my spare time, but my progress is slow. I currently have a difficult relationship with my boss at my current job. My boss likes to micromanage and communication at work is challenging. My boss isn't very pleasant and gets impatient when asked questions, sometimes it's because they didn't explain things clearly themselves. As a result, I am feeling very unhappy every day. Seeing my boss's tense expression makes me even more unhappy. Therefore, I am thinking of quitting and finding another job, but I'm afraid that my skills won't be good enough and I will be fired again. I have a lot of credit card debt that needs to be repaid, and without a job, I won't be able to do so. So, I'm really torn between what to do.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, career selection skills, work pressure.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Currently, you feel uncomfortable dealing with your boss in your new job, and communication is not smooth, making you unhappy every day. You want to change jobs now, but you also worry about repaying your credit card and being fired again due to your design skills. You are currently in a state of self-contradiction due to practical reasons, but you dare not change jobs rashly, and you are in a conflicting and uncomfortable state. Warm hugs to you. \u203bAdjust your mood and strive to improve your design skills. Currently, it is better to focus on your work before finding a suitable job. You can try to adjust your mood and state first. In the workplace, we inevitably have interactions and exchanges with colleagues and superiors. The boss hires us hoping that we can solve work problems and bring benefits to the company. As mentioned, \"If you ask too many questions, the boss may get annoyed. Sometimes it's because the boss did not explain clearly.\" In the situation you mentioned, are these questions about design or other issues? If it is design-related, the boss may think you have design skills and do not want to say too much. After all, the boss is not our teacher. If we ask questions about design techniques, the boss will indeed become impatient. Therefore, I also suggest that you work hard to improve your design skills, such as studying online through relevant resources. Considering your current financial situation, you can find free learning resources online. I think Bilibili is the website with better quality and all the resources there are free. You can select and do self-learning there. \u203bIs frequent job hopping really due to lack of ability? It seems that your previous jobs did not last long, and you attribute this to your average design skills, even if progress is slow after learning. Perhaps you need more reflection. When you were fired after only about a month of work, were there other problems besides your design skills? Based on your description of your current job, there is also room for improvement in your interactions with colleagues and superiors. Adjust your attitude towards work and become the person who solves problems in the workplace, rather than someone who needs a lot of support and assistance from others to complete your job. Regarding slow learning progress, you may also need to consider whether your learning methods are incorrect and if there are areas for improvement. Adult learning is different from student days and requires flexible application. Try to understand and comprehend more, summarize what steps and optimized processes are needed for a certain job, and improve efficiency. \u203bManage your finances and spend rationally. You mentioned that you owe a lot on your credit card, and I wonder if it is caused by borrowing to repay debts? Robbing Peter to pay Paul may temporarily alleviate the pressure of repayment, but I suggest you immediately stop borrowing to repay debts so that the deterioration of debt can be stopped in a timely manner, and then focus on clearing your credit card balance through income and expense management. If you feel stressed, I also suggest that you be honest with your family and friends and seek their help. Practice rational spending and keep track of your expenses. The road ahead is still long for young people, but if you continue to sink deeper into the quagmire of bad credit card usage and face constant harassment from debt collectors, you will become more overwhelmed. I'm not blaming you because I've been there too, and I have felt the pain. Stop borrowing to repay debts and find ways to earn more money.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, from your description, it can be seen that you are in a dilemma. I hope my answer will be helpful to you. Firstly, let's analyze the current problems. You think your work performance is average - you are already studying, but progress is slow. You don't get along well with your current job and boss - you're not happy at work and want to change jobs, but you're afraid of being fired. You have credit card debts and can't afford to be unemployed. \n\nTo solve the key problem, we need to be tougher on ourselves and make a determination to improve our skills. Everyone knows that companies don't keep idle people. If you don't make significant contributions to your work, you may face the risk of being fired. Even if you quit now and encounter other problems that make you unhappy in your next job, will you quit again? Therefore, we need to solve the fundamental problem, which is to improve our skills. It's impossible to improve in just ten days or half a month if you're studying design. So persistence is needed, and you need to be tough on yourself. Whether you study online or offline, you must learn, otherwise you may continue to face similar problems, which is only treating the symptoms but not the root cause.\n\nTry to communicate in a different way and learn from colleagues who have good performance. In reality, some bosses are easy to get along with, but most bosses are not. This requires some skills and methods of interpersonal communication. If you can't learn it yourself, you can observe how people around you interact with their bosses. It requires more patience and observation to improve emotional intelligence, which will make you more at ease. The current situation is making you unhappy, and coupled with the tough job market, quitting may not necessarily lead to a better job. You are currently facing difficulties, so try to solve them first. If you really want to leave, find another job first and tell your current employer after you have passed the interview. Otherwise, you may face the dilemma of having no job, which will affect your life. Deal with your emotional problems and try to communicate with people around you. Sometimes you can seek help from your friends, preferably those who are around your age or slightly older. This way, communication will be better without generation gap, and they can help you with suggestions. It's normal to encounter difficulties in any job; it's all about having the right mindset and emotions. Quitting will bring many problems, and not quitting will also have uncertainties. But only by facing them can you progress and become better. When you truly have more choices, you won't have to go through these things anymore. If it were me, my personal advice would be to stay and actively solve these problems. Especially, don't complain and resent, as this will only magnify your dissatisfaction with the company. Sometimes, if you change your perspective, you will find that things are not as bad as you think. For example, if you were the boss, what kind of people would you want? Or think about how your boss treats you on a daily basis, is there really no benefit at all? Or have you overlooked the good and only magnified the bad? I hope you can handle this matter well and become more and more outstanding. I believe you can do it! Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ I completely understand your feelings, sending you a hug~ It seems that you are currently in a rather awkward and conflicting situation. Your work is not going well, and you want to quit but also need to pay off your credit card debt. Sometimes, when we are in a bad state (like facing work difficulties), yet we don't choose to leave immediately (by quitting), it is because we are avoiding what we believe to be an even worse situation (not being able to pay off the credit card). So, to some extent, staying in this bad state is also a way to protect ourselves. Your inner self needs to weigh the pros and cons of these two difficulties and choose the better one. Should you continue to struggle with your current job or quit directly and face the dilemma of paying off the credit card? Sometimes, we can only choose one or compromise. Of course, you can also step out of this choice and see more possibilities. If you can make significant progress in your professional skills and communication with your leaders, or if you can find a job that suits you better, the problem will be solved. However, this requires trying and exploring, and of course, there are risks involved. You can consider every possibility, choose the lesser of two evils, and make a decision. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If the post owner still has debts, it is better not to quit abruptly before finding a new job. If you can't find a job for a while, how will you repay these credit cards? Even if you are currently employed, it won't affect your ability to interview for other jobs. During interviews, be cautious and consider whether your skills match the job requirements. You can interview with several companies, there's no rush. If you really can't continue, then look for more basic positions that don't require high qualifications or a lot of work experience, but positions that you can handle. You can temporarily take a step down to gain some experience. Additionally, can you find some part-time design work online? This can increase your income and help you get out of the credit card debt predicament quickly. When working for someone, the boss will certainly have many requirements for you. Put yourself in their shoes - if you were the boss of a company, spending a lot of money to support employees, you would surely want their work to create value. Maybe you can change your mindset. The boss currently has many requirements for you, but once you persevere, you may overcome many challenges you never thought possible. Treat your 8-hour workday as selling your time to the boss, after all, not many people can be extremely happy at work. Make your off-work time happier by exercising, reading, going out, or chatting with friends. These activities can bring joy and make it less difficult to endure. Apart from the difficulties with the boss, does this job give you a sense of achievement? Do you feel that your worth is being realized? If so, then hang in there until you have paid off your credit card debt or have accumulated enough capital. If you don't feel a strong connection to your profession, have you considered changing direction? Do you have other goals in mind? Even if you want to change jobs, you should wait until you have enough experience and know your own worth, so that you can have a goal-oriented job change and improve with each change. If you only want to change jobs because you don't like the current boss, then the next job may have different problems. Working for someone else can never be perfect. If you always think of changing jobs when faced with problems, you will never accumulate experience, and HR will consider you an unstable employee with insufficient loyalty. Of course, it also depends on the post owner themselves, whether they can persevere or if they are already so miserable that they don't want to stay even a minute longer. At the same time, it's important to understand that every decision comes with consequences, such as quitting a job means no source of income, but it might provide some relief. In addition to finding a job that you are satisfied with, you should also learn to budget and spend within your means to avoid falling into a debt crisis.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The main post is not happy with their job and wants to quit and change jobs. However, when they look at the reality of the situation, they have credit card debt to pay off and are worried about being fired again due to their lack of skills. From the description, it can be seen that the main attraction of this job is not the job itself, but the salary that allows them to pay off their credit card debt. If we exclude this additional value, what attracts you to the job itself? \"I have an average level of expertise in my field, which is why I was fired from my previous jobs after only a month.\" Having an average level of expertise means being at an average level, and most employers hire people based on this level. However, you were fired from several jobs before reaching one month. This is a contradiction. Having had several jobs indicates that you meet the standards of employers, so why do you find yourself unsuitable after being hired? This is what needs to be explored. Perhaps what you consider to be your business capabilities is not what the employers find unsuitable. \"I want to quit and find another job, but I'm afraid I won't meet the requirements and will be fired.\" I don't know if you have noticed, but when you wrote this sentence, you had a thought in your mind, \"I might be fired soon, I just don't know when.\" Before something happens, you can prepare yourself, for example, by taking the initiative to resign, which might make it easier for you. But is this your idea or the company's? If there are colleagues in the company who are more supportive, try talking to them and see how they view you. Do they think your level of expertise is so bad that you need to be fired? If not, what reasons make you have this idea? I hope this answer can be helpful to you! Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We all want to solve problems by avoiding them, but in the end, we find that the problems still exist. When it comes to workplace issues, we can discuss them from two aspects: objective environment and subjective abilities. 1. In the post-pandemic era, the employment environment is extremely bad, and it is not easy to have a job. If possible, try to improve your abilities during this time to plan for a broader future. The best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by now. It is recommended not to quit easily, but to find your own strengths, magnify them, and improve your competitiveness in the workplace. Look at your previous jobs, all of which were fired, which is quite serious. The boss is unwilling to tolerate you anymore. In this job, the boss is willing to \"oversee everything\", which is actually a good sign. Parents often say, \"If you weren't my own child, who would care about you so much?\" If the boss is willing to care, it means there is still hope. It means that the other party is also waiting for you to improve. If you leave this job because of emotions, maybe the next job won't have such a good opportunity. 2. Self-ability. You know that you need to learn, but progress is slow. You can also communicate with your boss about your state: \"I have the willingness and attitude to do things well, but my abilities are improving slowly. Please give me time and space.\" Having a boss who shares your values at work is actually not easy. As an \"authority\" figure, the boss represents the difficulties we face every day. When we were young, we can treat these as workplace trials, as pressure brings motivation. Moreover, you still owe a lot of credit card debt. Work is your only way to solve the problem now. Getting through it is the turning point, and it also improves your abilities. Isn't that great? I suggest you read more workplace books, such as Stephen Covey's \"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People\" and Peter Drucker's \"The Effective Executive\", to understand the workplace and try to understand the state of bosses. In addition, improving your professionalism is paramount. Sometimes it doesn't necessarily mean learning more, but looking at good works, imitating, and then surpassing them. Or maybe you have discovered that your strengths lie in other areas, so you don't have to struggle with design. In the workplace, recognizing your own strengths and then leveraging them while avoiding weaknesses is the best method. I also recommend that you take the Gallup StrengthsFinder test to truly understand your strengths. Only then can you develop yourself in the workplace and truly achieve a better life through your own efforts! Keep it up, I believe in you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Changing jobs is a normal thing, and there is no need to have negative emotions. All of this stems from the lack of confidence after being fired. If you have been fired twice, analyze the reasons why others have a bad impression of you. Identify and improve them promptly. Become better step by step through these experiences. Then, figure out which field you are best at and start from there to regain your confidence. If you have credit card debt, temporarily find a stable job that allows you to make repayments. Prioritize jobs that you like and are good at, even if they are temporary. Then, carefully consider what suits you and do it in the long run. The world is bright, and everything is lovely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If you are indeed in urgent need of money at the moment, then just do it first. After paying off the debt, relieve some of the burden on yourself, and then make other plans. If possible, take on some freelance work as a way to improve your skills. In my opinion, being a designer requires great patience and a calm mind, a good ability to withstand pressure. It might be a little more difficult to find a job right now, but if you are feeling down, go ahead and vent your frustrations a bit. Once you get past the emotional point, you'll feel better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Improve work skills + open-source and save money. For various difficulties and dissatisfaction encountered in work, I think we should find ways to solve them from the root: we need to improve our work skills to be taken seriously by our bosses. Strive to enhance our scarcity and become the most valuable person in the company, which should be the direction of our efforts in the coming years. In other words, we need to find ways to make ourselves valuable. Regarding the quality of life and desires, they should match our income level. The key to solving financial problems such as credit cards is to increase income and reduce expenditure. Best regards!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17226
       },
       {
        "question": "Psychogenic vascular headache, headaches occur when feeling anxious, what should I do?",
        "description": "From the second year of high school, I developed a habit of having headaches. At that time, I was misdiagnosed with depression, but I actually have vascular headaches. It was the first time I had heard of it, and I felt like I had a vascular disease like an elderly person. In high school, because of the headaches, I almost gave up on college entrance exams. After graduation, it got better, but now in my third year of college, the headaches have started again. They make me feel dizzy and unable to focus on reading. I constantly feel tired and even after waking up, the pain lingers making me feel like I haven't fully woken up. I estimate that it's caused by stress, as lately the stress has been quite overwhelming. I'm quite worried about relapsing because I'm currently preparing for postgraduate exams, and the headaches will also affect me. I don't know what to do. Medication can provide some relief, but I understand that only when the stress disappears will I be normal again, although that seems unlikely.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, somatic response.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give you a virtual hug. From your description, it is understood that you are experiencing headaches and excessive sleep due to the stress of taking exams. You are aware that this is all caused by stress, but you do not know how to relieve it. [A little analysis and advice] 1. The relationship between stress and effectiveness is generally a U-shaped curve. Both excessive and insufficient stress are not conducive to completing tasks. For you, reducing stress is the most important thing. Taking exams is not something you can only do once in your lifetime. If it is unlikely for you to not retake the exam, try looking at it from a different perspective and boosting your confidence. Tell yourself every day, \"Even if I perform poorly on the exam, I can take it again. It's okay even if I am nervous or haven't rested well, I can still perform to the best of my ability.\" Will this make you feel better? 2. It is important to let go of studying and take breaks when you are feeling uncomfortable, experiencing headaches, or unstable emotions. Forcing yourself to study during these times will not be productive. Instead, engage in activities that help you relax, such as exercise, reading books, or watching a movie with friends. Take a break from studying, and when you go back to it, make sure not to burden yourself with too much work. Hopefully, this will be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18382
       },
       {
        "question": "Students living on campus who experience anxiety and fear towards sounds, how can they resolve this issue?",
        "description": "I have always had a fear of sudden noises, such as slamming doors, children screaming, toilet flushing, etc. When I encounter noises that mask environmental sounds, I unconsciously scream, experience irregular heartbeats, and sweat. Since moving out of my home and living in a dormitory, I can hear every move my neighbor makes, such as opening and closing doors, making phone calls, moving chairs, etc. All these noises prevent me from concentrating on studying or paying attention. I am always worried that another noise will occur in the next second. Even when I wear headphones, I can still hear them. I have to wait until around one o'clock every day for everyone to rest before I can fall asleep. I think this may be a psychological disorder and I really hope to find a suitable solution. Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, don't be nervous. How long have you been in this state? Is there a stimulus source? Normal fear and anxiety have positive significance, as they can prompt us to mobilize our own powers to cope with external changes and adapt to the environment. Excessive fear affects learning and daily life and needs to be regulated. Seek support and help from others, or seek the assistance of a professional therapist or counselor. Medication can also be used for a period of time with the help of a psychotherapist. Now that you have self-awareness of your inner conflict state, irregular heart rate may be a somatic response to psychological problems. You can seek medical attention to rule out organic conditions. Your sensitivity and fear of sounds are also common phenomena, which are related to the lack of secure attachment in your infancy and early childhood, as well as the weak sense of security. This has been prolonged and now causes intense reactions to the surrounding environment, triggering excessive nervousness in the nervous system and discomfort. Engage in regular exercise, reading, mindfulness meditation, shift your focus, do things you enjoy, and avoid excessively absolute demands on yourself and others. Do not blame yourself excessively and allow for mistakes and imperfections. Exercise your willpower and reassure yourself that as long as you do not harm yourself or others, there is nothing to fear. Consciously put yourself in a state of fear, fully experiencing and accepting your true feelings, and gradually self-suggesting to relax your emotions. Focus on your breathing or imagine yourself as a powerful superhero or an invincible lion.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 64,
            "end": 124,
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           },
           {
            "start": 124,
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           },
           {
            "start": 163,
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           },
           {
            "start": 184,
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           },
           {
            "start": 263,
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           },
           {
            "start": 354,
            "end": 423,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! The reason behind this situation must be related to your upbringing and life experiences. Your description only reveals the outcome without providing more helpful information for others to pinpoint the real cause. I have two suggestions for you to consider: 1. Seek help from the school's counselor (it's free, and the effectiveness may vary from person to person). 2. Seek assistance from a mental health consultant (both offline and online options are available. As it is a paid service, theoretically, it would be more professional). Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9441
       },
       {
        "question": "At 19 years old, this girl feels anxious because she feels like she has wasted her time studying.",
        "description": "I used to be proactive and always wanted to study hard. I chose a major that required a lot of reading, and I really liked my major. However, I also wanted to improve my skills, which made it difficult for me to focus on both my major and skill development. Now I still try to do what needs to be done in my major every day, but I feel like it's too late. I'm already in my senior year, and I still feel like I haven't achieved anything, just being mediocre. This feeling of anxiety has been accompanied by a month-long depressive mood. I feel anxious and tortured no matter what I do now. I need a way out, but I don't feel like doing anything. I don't know if I have explained myself clearly, I hope someone experienced can answer my dilemma.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From your description, I understand that 1. You love your major and also love learning, but recently you have been feeling anxious. 2. Your major requires a lot of time, and it's difficult for you to balance it with honing your skills. 3. You want to do something, but you're not sure what. [A little analysis and suggestions] 1. If you persist in doing the same thing for a long time, even if it is something you initially liked and enjoyed, if you don't make appropriate adjustments along the way, you will eventually feel tired and exhausted. This is very normal. So, you can try changing the pace, set aside some time to rest, adjust your mindset by confiding in friends about your recent troubles, or go to places close to nature to relax and change your mood. 2. By being able to consistently do your own job well until your junior year, in fact, you are already stronger than 80% of college students. Maintaining your learning spirit and doing your own thing well after entering college is already a remarkable achievement. These persistence also bring benefits to you. For the honing of your skills, perhaps you can adjust your time, think more critically about which activities can be done in less time or can be eliminated altogether. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15228
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently, it seems that the mental health of a 16-year-old girl has been getting worse.",
        "description": "I don't know, how to say... a 16-year-old girl, recently, it seems like her mental state is getting worse?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, aggression, self-harm, avoidance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, it seems like something has been bothering you and you're having trouble sorting out your thoughts. I'm not sure what you've been through, but I can sense that you've accumulated some negative emotions that haven't been released in a timely manner. Have you tried finding a healthy way to express these negative emotions? Take a moment to think if there have been any useful methods in the past that you can continue using. Also, try to think about what activities truly help you relax. Could it be singing, painting, doing crafts, or traveling? You can brainstorm and write down all the ideas that come to mind, then choose a few to try out. Have you attempted to confide in your family or trusted friends about your frustrations? When faced with difficulties, it's necessary to seek support and help from those around you. Of course, being able to reach out here for help is also commendable. These are my suggestions, and I hope they can assist you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16984
       },
       {
        "question": "There is tension in the dormitory, why has life fallen into a vicious cycle?",
        "description": "I have been feeling very nervous in the dormitory, unable to speak and feeling anxious to talk. I am afraid and constantly unable to blend in with the dormitory. Can you please advise on how to change this?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's try to think about it from the current position of standing. It's very tense in the dorm, and we can't even say a word, so our interpersonal relationships are a mess. What do we expect? We expect to be able to go out with the people in the dorm. It would be nice to have one or two close friends. What can we do to make friends? We can communicate with others, talk about common interests, and get to know each other. You see, we have many ways to meet new people. You might think that even though you say this, I'm still nervous, so what should I do? So you can think about two questions. First, what am I nervous about? Am I afraid of being rejected by the other person or afraid that my stumbling speech will make them dislike me, and so on. What am I worried about behind the nervousness? Second, will these reasons behind the nervousness hinder me from communicating normally with others? If so, can I overcome them, even if it's just starting with a simple greeting like \"good morning\" or \"good afternoon\"? Do we need to take more action, because only through action will we know what we can achieve. Don't get caught in the vicious cycle you mentioned because in this cycle, we can't see a clear result.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
            "start": 21,
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           },
           {
            "start": 52,
            "end": 112,
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           },
           {
            "start": 112,
            "end": 183,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 183,
            "end": 195,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 195,
            "end": 318,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 318,
            "end": 400,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6052
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do my parents always insist on making me apologize? It's clearly her who is getting angry but she blames me.",
        "description": "Here is the original text my mother sent me. I want to consult with you about what is going on in her mind. Why does she use this as a threat when she clearly knows that my child needs to be picked up and dropped off? This has happened before, constantly neglecting the child. I have a job and cannot quit to take care of the child. I have truly realized this and I am prepared to move out and hire a nanny after. (In just one year, we have had three arguments. It feels like helping to take care of the child has turned us into villains. If we still want to live together in the future, then put away your ways and handle your own family matters. Don't bother us. We have said it long ago: if we are willing to help, we will help, but if we are unwilling, it's our prerogative. Our obligation is simply to raise XX to adulthood. If you don't want to live together, then move out on October 1. We also want some peace and quiet. Remember, helping is not something we owe you. Don't be ungrateful.)",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, parental communication, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Because the OP's parents believe that their obligation and responsibility lie only with the OP's generation, they think they are helping to lighten the OP's burden, but it does not mean that they must comply with everything the OP says. Just like the OP's mother said, they indeed have no obligation to help us take care of our children, it's just that it's a common practice in our country and many elderly people around us do help with child-rearing. So subconsciously we assume that parents should help raise their grandchildren. However, in the process of raising children, due to differences in beliefs and various aspects, it is inevitable that various problems will arise. If both parties have strong personalities, many problems are indeed difficult to solve immediately. Therefore, we can think back to the contradiction points every time we argue with our parents. If we really can't live with our parents and our financial conditions allow, we can indeed seek help from professionals because sometimes problems that can be solved with money are not too big of a deal, so we need to weigh it ourselves. Because parents feel that they are here to help, we need to learn to be grateful instead of pushing all problems onto them or finding excuses for ourselves, so we don't need to take it too seriously. Sometimes, when beliefs do not align, many problems can arise, so we can focus on managing our own small family and handle larger issues on a case-by-case basis. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 204,
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           },
           {
            "start": 310,
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           },
           {
            "start": 415,
            "end": 422,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! The problem you raised is very common now. It is indeed very difficult for young people to work and take care of their children. It is normal for parents to seek help from them, which has also caused many family conflicts. I have a friend whose situation is similar to yours. Both of their parents come to help take care of their children, but their lifestyle habits and dietary habits are different. Over time, many differences have arisen, but they are not easy to speak out. Both feel aggrieved. The young people think it is natural for grandparents to help take care of their children, while the elderly think they have worked hard all their lives and finally retired to enjoy life, but now they have to help the young people take care of their children and do household chores every day. They already feel uncomfortable, and when they encounter things they can't figure out, they feel even more upset. At this time, it is necessary for both sides to have open and honest communication. If they are your parents, you should mainly communicate with them. If they are the other person's parents, let the other person mainly communicate with them. Speak out about your difficulties, emphasize their role, and appropriately exaggerate the positive and negative impacts that not getting their help will bring to your future lives. No matter what kind of parents they are, they all have a heart that hopes their children will live well. As children, you also need to understand your parents' intentions, adjust your mindset, and avoid bias. As long as you have time, do household chores together and take care of the children together. When there are differences, communicate and resolve them in a timely manner. Once the family harmony is achieved, everything will be fine.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems like your mother is not refusing to take care of your children, but rather you are demanding too much from them during the child-rearing process. Your small family may face difficulties and rely on the assistance of the elderly, but young people should not burden the elderly with all responsibilities. It's important to establish appropriate boundaries. Young people should be grateful for the help from the elderly instead of considering it as something that is owed to them. Without knowing the specific details, this is the reasoning I can provide.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9917
       },
       {
        "question": "The damage caused by my ex-boyfriend has resulted in my inability to trust my current boyfriend. What should I do?",
        "description": "I was in a relationship with my ex for almost four years. A few months before we broke up, I found out that he was being ambiguous with another girl. That girl didn't know he had a girlfriend. After I caused a scene, she left, possibly due to family reasons. I couldn't trust my ex anymore, and even when that girl secretly visited my social media, I would get furious. I started doubting and distancing myself from him. We would almost break up every two days, and eventually we did break up. At first, I felt relieved. Then I met my current partner who treats me with great care. However, I always have this feeling that after some time, he will become like my ex. I start doubting him every day. I don't believe what he says. We both struggle every single day. It's exhausting. Later on, my own personality started becoming extreme. I would get angry and say hurtful things whenever I found something upsetting. I closed my social media and stopped replying to his messages. After everything happened, I felt regretful. I'm so miserable. I'm wondering if there's something wrong with my mental health.",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Not all wounds can heal easily, but if you encounter someone who can help you heal, you should cherish and treat them seriously. From your description, I can sense that you have developed a sense of distrust towards your current partner due to betrayal by your ex. Your inner doubts and contradictions constantly create conflicts, making your current relationship extremely painful and agonizing. Being aware that this is a problem is the beginning of change. Perhaps you have not taken your state after being betrayed seriously enough. Did you question your self-worth at that time? Did you think there was something wrong with you or have feelings of inferiority? How much of your sadness and grief is due to betrayal, and how much is due to self-doubt and insecurity in intimate relationships? Take the time to carefully sort out your thoughts and approach the problem rationally. Is there any factual basis for your suspicions? Before saying hurtful words, have you tried to calm down? Besides extreme approaches, have you tried to communicate and approach the issue gently? Did you only find peace of mind when your current partner left you, believing that your suspicions were indeed correct, engaging in self-fulfilling prophecy? Try facing and resolving issues in a positive way instead of resorting to extreme and painful methods. Learn to trust yourself and trust your partner. In fact, when you have doubts, you can have an open conversation with your current partner about your feelings and what behaviors of theirs make you feel uneasy. Is your extreme behavior aimed at seeking more care and reassurance, rather than them leaving? Does your partner know when you regret your own words and actions? In an intimate relationship, both people need to be willing to understand each other's worlds, reveal their own wounds to each other, and let the other person know where it hurts, so they won't touch it and will know how to help and protect you. Silence and arguments will only make the relationship worse, causing harm to both individuals, instead of being a game of winning or proving certain suspicions. Express your emotions sincerely, and honestly admit your shortcomings and weaknesses, accompanying each other in overcoming difficulties and finding the most suitable way to be together. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are currently experiencing extremes in your life, so it would be better to take it seriously. It's best to talk to a counselor to untie the knot in your heart. Although you have conversations and friendships with your current partner, you have never let go of your ex in your consciousness. Your ex still influences you internally, so it is quite difficult to maintain a good relationship among the three of you. Only when you deal with your inner self and let go of your ex, can you possibly live a peaceful life with your current partner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Appearance: The ex-boyfriend had ambiguous relationships with other girls, causing a lack of trust and a breakup. The current boyfriend is attentive but still unable to let go, leading to emotional instability, hurting others and experiencing pain. The truth: 1) It is possible that the person has not yet recovered from the painful experience mentioned in the first paragraph, or the trauma has not been healed. 2) They have a lack of security, self-confidence, and emotional instability, causing them to worry about gains and losses in their relationships. In need of reflection: In a four-year relationship, if it did not get better and you discovered your partner's ambiguity, have you ever reflected on what went wrong in the relationship? Ending it by getting angry and suspicious. At the very least, it shows that you are immature in handling relationships, and you may not realize the role and responsibilities you played in the previous relationship, including the breakup. I usually do not recommend entering into a new relationship without any reflection or growth after leaving a previous one. It is not only unfair to your current partner but may also be a repetition of harm to yourself. In fact, you are now seeing the consequences of that. Currently, I suggest you find a counselor and make some efforts in personal growth. When you truly grow psychologically, when you are willing to take responsibility for your own happiness or unhappiness and feel confident, your troubles will naturally diminish. Of course, a relationship requires the effort of two people. Any one-sided effort will not last long. We all need to adapt to each other in various interactions. No one is a perfect match. Mutual respect, support, and progress together are the best state. When you feel nourished in a relationship and your own state is improving, and interactions become more natural and comfortable, it indicates that you are making the right efforts, and the possibility of finding the right person is also greatly increased.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14653
       },
       {
        "question": "Sophomore student, feel homesick every day, is this normal? How to relieve it?",
        "description": "Sophomore student, still have a strong desire to go home every day and feel somewhat depressed, lacking enthusiasm for studying and life. Is this normal? How can I relieve it?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello~~~ Give the questioner a warm hug. It is normal for anyone, regardless of age or identity, to miss home. However, we also need to balance our feelings of homesickness with our studies at school. The questioner might consider whether they are naturally more attached to home or if the intensity of homesickness has increased due to certain things at school or academic pressure. We can start by identifying the reasons behind these feelings in order to better address the issue. On the other hand, there is no need to burden ourselves with pressure regarding homesickness. We can try to increase the time we spend communicating with our parents or family members, expressing our inner emotions and feelings to them. Additionally, we can also try to find activities at school that can divert our attention and serve as a substitute for feelings of homesickness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11193
       },
       {
        "question": "Parents have objections to the boyfriend, how can the relationship be improved?",
        "description": "I have been dating my boyfriend for almost three years. I am in Jiangsu, and he is in Inner Mongolia. My parents don't want me to marry someone from a faraway place, and they also require the guy to buy a house. But the guy talked to my parents about getting married sooner, and my dad said no marriage without buying a house. The guy said it's not easy to buy a house in Xuzhou, and my dad misunderstood, thinking he wouldn't buy a house. The guy actually agreed to buy a house in Xuzhou, but in installments, not to stay there. Last year, I opened a store and got into a lot of debt due to the pandemic. I didn't dare to tell anyone about it. My parents think I spent the money on the guy, and even after I explained, they still don't believe me. Because of this money issue, my dad asked us to break up. I haven't told the guy how much debt I owe, but he has helped me repay the money. He just graduated from college. I want to ask how to handle this? How to improve the relationship?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, and concepts of marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Your parents are just looking out for you, but you have to be honest about your boyfriend helping you with things. It's already the modern age, and a simple observation can tell a lot, right? Make your parents change their perspective on your boyfriend, can you? Your boyfriend really has nothing to say about them. Even if he doesn't have money, he should still make installment payments, right? You can't let him down either. You need to consider the lifestyle of being a slave to a mortgage when you're together. Can you both work together to improve your lives? This should also be a concern for your parents. Once you've considered this, it's up to you to resolve the misunderstandings between your boyfriend and your parents. It's such a simple matter, right?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are all mommy's babies, your own lives are bound by your parents' beliefs. Really, it's very difficult to live like this. Love itself is beautiful, two people with pure hearts, establishing a family, starting their own lives, how wonderful. But now, it has become a burden demanded by parents. I think it's better to make your own decisions, and if it doesn't work, just go out and explore. As long as the two of you are together, everything will be fine, really. I've tried it myself, 23 years have passed, and I'm doing well. Three children, life may be tough at times, but there is a lot of happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10438
       },
       {
        "question": "What else can I do to survive when nothing goes right?",
        "description": "Family is unhappy, work is not going well, love life is not going well, basically nothing is going well.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive mood, panic and helplessness, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! When I read your words, my heart aches and tears well up in my eyes. I understand that the various frustrations you are experiencing may be overwhelming and that the final straw has led to these thoughts, right? In fact, I believe that it is quite normal for people to have thoughts of not wanting to live, and most people have had such thoughts at some point. Ultimately, they either find their own way to cope, receive help from others, or have something that holds them back. I like that I can help you, but I like it even more when you can help yourself. Although the world is not perfect, we can heal ourselves! I understand that you may have these thoughts, but I won't allow you to act on them. I hope you can take care of yourself. Here are a few ways to relieve your feelings: 1) Have a good cry. You can find a quiet place or do it in a crowd; don't worry about what others think, just let yourself cry freely. It will help you relax and maybe bring you some comfort. 2) Go on a trip and see beautiful scenery, enjoy good food. It's another way to relieve stress. When you go out and see things, you will realize how big the world is and how small we are. Many things we once enjoyed might help fill the void in your heart. 3) Go for a run. When you're feeling particularly bad, run as hard as you can until you're exhausted. This will help release those feelings. 4) Find someone to talk to, or you can seek help from a mental health counselor to help manage your emotions. I came across an article with this conclusion, and I want to share it with you: Everyone experiences emotions, and when we realize we are experiencing negative emotions, we need to face them and then manage them well. We need to find a healthy outlet to release these bad emotions instead of suppressing them. When faced with negative triggers, we should learn to redirect them. Take care, my friend. Venting out negative emotions allows us to work, study, and live happily, and interact with others normally. Don't spread bad emotions to others. Keep going; we're all the same, but that's okay. You have a lot of people supporting you, so live well and you will encounter opportunities along the way.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9933
       },
       {
        "question": "Had a dream, scared to go back to sleep, very bizarre?",
        "description": "Yesterday afternoon, I had a day off and took a nap. I had a dream within a dream, which was quite eerie. In my dream, I woke up to find a woman next to me, whispering in my ear not to get up because there was someone on my bed. Naturally, I didn't consider that person as a human being, but rather as something unclean. Then, I played a couple of games with my classmates, and by around eleven o'clock, I went to sleep again. I had another dream where I saw myself coming back from outside and taking the elevator. In the dream, the elevator in my residential area had changed. The lowest level was now negative six floors. There were two women waiting for the elevator with me, one of them was older, like an auntie. On the wall opposite to the elevator, where the fire hydrant was, she talked to us, saying that the elevator had changed and that it was difficult to take. She said that the negative floors were for parking and that she had been waiting for a long time since the afternoon. At that time, I had a sense of time and realized that she had been waiting for about three hours. The girl next to me didn't say anything during this process, but I responded with \"uh-huh\" or something like that when the auntie spoke. I felt like I had to respond. Then the elevator arrived, and in the corner of the elevator, there was a dark, strong-looking man with a stern face. After the girl and I entered the elevator, the auntie suddenly started frantically searching through her bag outside the elevator. It felt like she was procrastinating or buying time for something. The decision was in my hands. I could press the elevator button to go up.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, emotion regulation, panic helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm afraid to sleep. I know there are no ghosts or spirits in the world. I woke up around three o'clock, and I don't feel that there is anything unclean about the darkness. I know that the change between day and night is caused by the Earth's rotation. I need to use the bathroom, but when I flush the toilet, the sound of the flushing water sounds like a person's wailing and screaming. I'm so scared. I'm so scared that someone wants to kill me. I searched online to find out what this dream is about, but all the answers are about being chased or killed. But I suspect that someone wants to kill me, and I woke up before anything happened. Now, I'm afraid to even turn off the lights.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Later events, I do not know if they were real or dreams. I told myself not to be afraid and went up to the top floor of the rooftop to find someone, even though I knew I couldn't find anyone. At that time, I had already reached my own floor, outside my own apartment. But I thought that I had to pass the top floor, just in case that woman was chasing that girl. If I passed by, I would die too. Then, I thought that I should have regained my senses. I believed that I could float silently like they described in fantasy novels, and disappear. Hmm, I'm sure I was awake at that time. It was already so fantastical. Later, I regained my clarity. I kicked away my blanket, and I imagined being chased by a man on my way home after school. I thought of carrying a fruit knife with me. If he dared to attack me, I would stab him over a dozen times and then run back home, tell my parents, and call the police.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Close the elevator and go upstairs directly with that girl, or help the auntie press the door-opening button to let her in. The girl lives on the top floor, and I naturally live on my own floor, a few floors lower than her. I don't know why even though I clearly know that the auntie is very strange, my brain seems to not be under my control. I frantically press the elevator button to let any auntie come in. After seeing my behavior, the man in the elevator, who has been like an elevator attendant, leans his arms on both sides of the elevator door and looks at the auntie. The auntie enters the elevator under his particularly fierce gaze. Note: This man has always been in a similar position to that of an elevator attendant. Then the auntie gets in, and when I ask which floor she wants, she says the minus one floor. After I press the button, she asks who the good person is. My subconscious mind immediately thinks that she wants to kill someone. The elevator starts going up, and I have a subconscous feeling that she wants to kill the girl on the top floor. I am very scared, and when we reach my floor, I have made up my mind. When I get off the elevator, I won't walk to my own door, I will pretend to take out my keys and open the door on the opposite side of my home. And then the dream ends. I have not yet reached my own floor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10905
       },
       {
        "question": "Discovering that your mother has an ambiguous relationship with someone else can be mentally distressing. How can you relieve this pressure?",
        "description": "I found that my mom has an ambiguous relationship with someone. I had been suspicious before, but I confirmed it in the past few days. I can't talk to anyone about it, and I can't let her know that I know. We don't communicate much in the first place. I really can't accept it, and I feel very oppressed and uncomfortable. How can I find some relief?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Short reply: I found out that my mom has an ambiguous relationship with someone, I had suspicions before, but it was confirmed these few days. (What does it mean to you that your mom is having an ambiguous relationship with someone? Do you have a moral evaluation of your mother? Does it hurt your father, hurt your adoptive father? Do you despise your mother? Or... write it down. See what emotions and cognitions are influencing you.) I can't confide in anyone, I can't let her know that I know, we don't communicate frequently anyway. (If she knew that you knew, what would happen? Has the situation of not communicating always been there, or is it a certain degree of agreement reached between your mother and you? Take some time to think about these questions, as they are key to the current relationship we have) I really can't accept it, I feel very suppressed and uncomfortable. How do I resolve this? (Find a platform, express yourself anonymously. Allowing yourself to express will release the suppression. Of course, it is also important to quietly think and reply to the questions I gave earlier.) Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner. You didn't mention your own family situation in your question, only saying that you discovered your mother's ambiguous relationship with someone else and didn't know your age and gender. As for the current state of your parents' relationship and some personal advice, I hope it can help you. Since you confirmed that your mother had an ambiguous relationship, you can find a suitable time to ask her about your doubts. If it's not what you think, it can quickly solve your confusion. Many things can only be resolved by clearly speaking out your concerns.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm sorry, I don't understand the situation of the questioner's family. However, I would like to share some personal opinions and hope to offer some help. First of all, there is no doubt that parents love us, and our love for them is unconditional. No matter what situation we are in, our mother loves us. She gave us life, and we are a part of her. Just like other parents, she will always give us the right to be loved. Secondly, everyone has the right to make choices for their own lives and pay the corresponding price for it. So, parents have the right to choose the life they want, and this has nothing to do with the love they give us. In the future, you also have to make choices for your own life, and regardless of the outcome, you have to bear the consequences of your own choices. You are connected to your mother, but you are also independent. The connection comes from the love and unique relationship between you, and the independence comes from the fact that both you and your mother have to face your own lives independently, and no one can replace that. You might as well take the first step and talk to your mother about your thoughts, express your inner feelings, and try to communicate. Also, let your mother open her heart and talk about her own thoughts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "My relationship with my mother is very good, but later I discovered the same thing as you and confirmed it too. What can I do? For the past six months, I have been struggling and feeling miserable, even wanting to distance myself. Later, I indirectly made it clear that I knew everything, those dirty things hidden in my heart. Now, we have a lukewarm mother-daughter relationship, occasionally getting close. I can only say that I can't change anything. Adults' affairs, children are always bystanders and victims.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13092
       },
       {
        "question": "30 years old, mother of two, physically and mentally exhausted, feeling quite depressed, how to adjust?",
        "description": "Both children were accidents, and my mental state during pregnancy was not good. It greatly affected my career development and caused irreversible damage to my body. I now suffer from chronic tinnitus. I understand that I should take responsibility for my choices, but when it is quiet at night and I can't fall asleep, I often entertain thoughts of suicide. How can I adjust myself?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotion regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: It sounds like you are currently very anxious. The physical reactions during pregnancy, work pressure, and psychological tinnitus have put you in a difficult situation and even caused thoughts of suicide, is that right? I wonder how long this situation has been going on for you? Has it affected your sleep? Due to limited information, the following suggestions are for reference only: First, you mentioned that both children were unplanned, indicating that you were not adequately prepared for the pregnancy. The first thing to consider is how to better accept the current situation of pregnancy. Inner conflict and turmoil will affect your body. Second, pregnancy has affected your career. Perhaps what needs to be considered is how to weigh the importance of career and having children, and how to plan your career better. Third, try to make some adjustments with the help of psychological theories and techniques: mindfulness, meditation, yoga, etc. all work. Fourth, if the above suggestions are not helpful, perhaps consider talking to a counselor to help you get out of life's difficulties. Keep going, and remember that I will always love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14428
       },
       {
        "question": "Can a failed relationship really change one's sexual orientation?",
        "description": "After breaking up with my ex-boyfriend, I was very miserable for a while because he blamed me for the breakup and denied my feelings and efforts towards him. He even said how heartless I was and how good he had been to me. This made me lose hope in relationships, and I no longer saw dating as something beautiful. I became very reluctant to pursue love and even unwilling to start a new relationship. Recently, I realized that I have developed feelings for a girl. I am scared to face this, and I can't believe in these emotions. We have only had a few interactions and don't know each other well. I am extremely afraid of this budding feeling and unsure if it is love or not. I've also been constantly thinking about how I suddenly changed my sexual orientation. I have been suppressing these feelings and I'm afraid to let others know.",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation, attachment and dependence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, OP. Breaking up with your boyfriend and being subjected to unwarranted blame and denial can indeed be disappointing and infuriating. This disappointment and anger may affect your confidence in rebuilding relationships, and it may even lead to feelings of insecurity towards men. Have you ever experienced this kind of insecurity with other men in the past? How is your relationship with your father? If you have also experienced similar disappointment and anger in the past, it is possible that it could trigger stronger aversion towards the opposite sex. If this insecurity extends beyond close relationships to include more individuals of the opposite sex, you might find yourself being attracted to individuals of the same sex, as they may have certain qualities that make you feel warm and safe. If you find yourself developing feelings for a girl, it would be helpful to observe what exactly you like about her. If it's just a fondness, there is no need to worry excessively. In fact, psychological research suggests that each of us, even heterosexual individuals, can experience attraction and desire towards individuals of the same sex. However, whether or not to take further action is a decision that requires rational judgment on your part. The trauma from your previous relationship that you mentioned may require more attention and processing in order to restore your trust in the opposite sex and intimate relationships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Because for a period of time, you may feel that there is a law of attraction where people with similar characteristics tend to gather. Perhaps certain girls' personalities have attracted you, so you are drawn to their unique personal traits, creating a positive impression. This is neither right nor wrong, it simply means maintaining a principle of no regrets in whatever you do. Well, it's about choosing the lesser of two evils and prioritizing the greater of two benefits.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, sending you warm hugs~ In some cases I have come across, there have been changes in sexual orientation due to past romantic failures. In the timeframe you described, you have experienced some hurt from your ex-boyfriend. During the breakup, he placed a lot of blame on you, which must have made you feel really upset. It's difficult to have loved someone so deeply and then receive hurt from them when you part ways. In recent times, you have realized that you seem to be developing feelings for another girl. However, this liking may stem from certain qualities she possesses. For example, her sense of responsibility or her kindness and patience, etc. It's possible that these attributes attract you, making you feel like you like this girl. Changing one's sexual orientation involves emotional attachment as well as impulsive changes. If you feel a sexual attraction to the same sex, it may indicate a greater inclination towards homosexuality. Wishing you the best~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19263
       },
       {
        "question": "22 years old, currently studying for exams, parents say I am being extreme, what should I do?",
        "description": "For example, right now I am preparing for exams, but whenever my mom brings up the topic of getting married and bringing a dowry, I feel very uncomfortable. I have mentioned to her that I don't want to get married and she shouldn't talk about this aspect. But she still brings it up. As for being radical, it means that I often express different views from them about things. My dad says I am just like he was when he was 20 and that it's not good. I want to express my own opinions. Am I sick?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I'd like to give you a small hug, hoping to bring you some warmth. One: Let's summarize your problems. First, you have different opinions from your parents, which makes you very uncomfortable. Second, your father doesn't agree with you and thinks you are still too young. Two: My analysis of this matter is that there is indeed a generation gap every three years. Although it's not necessarily about who is right, the generation gap does exist. In our mother's generation, they got married relatively early. Although 22 is still young, in their eyes, taking a few years after graduating from school, it becomes a bit risky for your lifelong decision. Parents hope that you can have a stable and happy family early, so even though you don't like this topic, your mother can't help but bring it up. As for your father, he may see his own reflection in you, but he failed back then, so he doesn't want you to repeat the same mistakes. Of course, I also support you. We are all independent individuals with the right to pursue what we want and live a life that truly belongs to us. Three: Here are my suggestions. Firstly, have a good conversation with your parents. Perhaps when you mentioned not wanting to get married, your parents felt a great sense of crisis. But is it because you haven't met the right person yet? You can talk to your parents about your true thoughts, or change the phrase \"not wanting to get married\" to \"I want to continuously improve myself through my efforts and meet better people.\" I believe your parents will definitely support you. Secondly, analyze it rationally. Cao Cao once said, \"Remember not to get angry, as anger diminishes wisdom.\" Have you ever thought that your strong desire to study and even the statement of not wanting to get married are a kind of anger and resistance towards your family? At least, I have experienced that when I argue with my partner, even though I know that what I'm doing may not be good, because it came from his mouth, I insist on doing it well. So I think you should carefully consider whether these thoughts are the most genuine calls from your heart or acts of rebellion under anger. Lastly, be slightly more firm in your attitude. If you are determined to study, then your attitude needs to be a little more firm. Your father told you that he was the same at 20, so you can also tell him: your experience was earned by yourself, and my experience should also be earned by myself. So, when I'm twenty, I want to make my own decisions, regardless of success or failure. Please do not disturb me, as I am no longer a child. Finally, I hope my suggestions can help you and wish you a happier life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Don't worry, it's okay. (^\u25bd^) Hug you, hug you who are not understood by your parents. You are a girl with opinions, you have your own thinking, which is great! You must be a smart and innovative girl who likes and is good at thinking! I understand your need to express your views. I am the same as you, always expressing different opinions to my parents. As for being extreme, it means that I will present different views from them. According to the dictionary, being extreme refers to thoughts, beliefs, speech, behavior, etc., being excessive, inappropriate, or beyond the scope of common understanding and acceptance, thus unable to be accepted and recognized by the public. Nowadays, marriage is a matter of personal choice. With the liberation of thoughts, non-marriage ideology is gradually accepted by the public. For example, the famous dancer Yang Liping. Dad said you are like him when he was 20 and that it's not good. You also think that this version of yourself is not good. On one hand, parents can't understand why you feel uncomfortable about the topic of marriage and your resistance to it. On the other hand, Dad may be worried that your tendency to present unconventional ideas will lead to setbacks in your future social life. Why would Dad think this way? In social psychology, Asch's conformity experiment explains the following: \"Information Pressure: Through experience, people tend to believe that the majority is more likely to be correct. In ambiguous situations, due to the lack of reference framework, they have more faith in the majority and conform more. Normative Pressure: Individuals in a group often do not want to violate the group standards and be seen as deviants by other members. They are afraid of being different and becoming \"outliers,\" experiencing isolation. Therefore, they adopt the opinions of the majority.\" (Baidu) Dad is worried that having opinions and perspectives different from the majority will lead to social isolation and a lack of support in your social life. Therefore, Mom and Dad communicate with you and evaluate you this way because they love you and are concerned about you. -------------------------------------------------- ---------------- Why do you feel uncomfortable when Mom brings up your marriage? Everyone has their own thoughts. Perhaps Mom's tone still carries a slight \"authoritarian\" demand while you, an adult with opened wings, want to fly freely. Are you afraid that Mom will interfere in your marriage? Are you afraid that Mom will still control you like when you were a child? Therefore, you refuse to bring up this topic that may lead to parental control? In terms of romance and marriage, you want your own privacy space and do not want parents to interfere. We, in our early twenties, may be the generation that enjoys expressing our self-awareness the most. In this information age, the generation gap between us and our parents is getting deeper. The thoughts of the previous generation still deeply influence their every word and action. For example, some people believe that Yang Liping's life is incomplete without having children. I also feel uncomfortable about this topic, and my mom also believes that women should get married and have children. (I will tell my mom when she brings up the topic of romance and marriage: \"Mom, if you have any questions about this, you can ask me.\" I will let Mom know that I already know and don't need her reminders and suggestions.) Communicate well with your parents, use a more tactful tone, and quote authoritative sources to tell your parents that your ideas are also reasonable, or say that you currently don't have such thoughts and that academic achievement is the priority, and let's talk about it later. I wish you success in your postgraduate entrance examination, and keep up the good work! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, giving you a warm hug. It is normal to focus on academic matters and not think about marriage at the age of 22, especially since the topic of \"marriage\" is still far away for you. Moreover, as a 22-year-old, you must be under a lot of academic pressure. It is understandable that you may feel impatient and resistant when discussing topics that seem distant to you. You don't have to feel anxious or doubt your own well-being. Everyone grows up with a limited understanding at an appropriate age, and no one sees the world with the same perspective as their future self. Those days would be boring. It is normal for us to have different viewpoints from our parents due to our different ages and environments. You are not wrong in feeling this way. You are you, and you are 22 years old now, an adult who needs to think for yourself and have the ability to discern right from wrong. Dealing with relationships when opinions differ is a challenge that many people face. They complain about the inability to communicate with their family and the lack of shared values, which leads to poor family relationships. I have complained about this too. However, differing values are not the main cause of strained relationships; it is often due to communication. As long as individuals with differing values respect and understand each other's perspectives, without demanding or troubling the other from their own standpoint, I believe it will not affect their relationship even if their values do not align. On the contrary, some people argue and constantly debate due to different ideologies, insisting on determining a winner or loser based on their views on a particular matter. This is what really damages relationships. When facing disagreements with your parents, it might be helpful to guide them more and try to understand them, while also attempting to make your parents understand you! This will be good for everyone! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I am also 22 years old this year. When I was younger, I looked forward to growing up, but as I grew up, I realized that it was not what we wanted. Instead, I preferred when I was younger. After all, people are never satisfied and have a tendency to avoid. I hope my sharing can bring you some help~ First of all, do appropriate things at the appropriate age. \"Live to old age, learn to old age.\" In fact, learning has no end, so we still need to learn because self-improvement is not achieved overnight. With the development and needs of society, our abilities should also be in line with it. Secondly, learn to communicate with parents. At the age of 22, it is normal for parents to bring up topics such as marriage and having children. After all, parents cannot always be with us. However, lifelong decisions need to be carefully considered. You can try to think from their perspective and have a good communication with your parents. The reason why conflicts arise between us and our parents is because we live in different times. They have experienced more and gone through worse things, so their way of expressing love may not be satisfactory. But their original intention is for our own good. Lastly, learn to plan your own life. Although plans cannot keep up with changes, we still need our own plans. It can give us a direction to strive for, and it can also prove to our parents that we have a reasonable arrangement and can handle these things well. This way, when our parents see our achievements, they will also feel relieved, and we will also feel delighted. Accompanying you with love and words, best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after understanding your situation, I want to start by giving you a warm hug~\u3010Problem\u30111) There is a contradiction with your parents regarding marriage - your parents want you to get married early, but you have been focused on studying and don't want to consider this matter right now. 2) Your parents say you are being extreme - you have your own views and opinions about marriage, but in your parents' eyes, having a different perspective is considered extreme. \u3010My Analysis\u30111) You are only 22 years old, which is the age for pursuing your dreams. We are young people of the new era and naturally have our own thoughts about marriage and starting a family. So, you are definitely not being extreme, it's just that your parents don't understand the mindset of our young generation. What we lack is communication and understanding between us. 2) You are currently in the stage of preparing for exams, and it's inevitable to feel stressed and emotionally tense. On top of that, your parents' expectations regarding marriage add to the emotional instability. This is something that anyone would feel under such circumstances. So, try not to let your parents' words affect you too much and focus on studying for now, as that is the most important thing at the moment. \u3010My Suggestions\u30111) Communicate with your parents sincerely and make them understand your thoughts. There is an age gap between us and our parents, naturally resulting in differences in mindset. You can choose a suitable time to have a good talk with your parents about your thoughts, which are also the thoughts of many young people in today's society. What we need is to have the ability to be independent before seeking a life partner. Of course, you can also ask your trusted friends to help persuade your parents. 2) Focus on exam preparation and clear away your worries. Since you are currently in the exam preparation stage, it means that studying is the top priority. Don't let other trivial matters affect you. If you feel tired or upset, go outside for a walk, jog, or change your environment to change your mood and clear away your worries. 3) Seek a conducive learning environment to improve study efficiency. You can study in a quiet place like a library or a caf\u00e9 to achieve a highly productive state of revision. 4) Believe in yourself and believe in the future. The destiny of your life is in your own hands. We shouldn't let other people's opinions dictate our decisions. Believe that you can achieve your career goals and believe that the person for your future is waiting for you not far away. However, right now, you still need to keep striving and pushing yourself. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, understand the conflicting feelings you have after having conflicts with your parents. Core issue: doubting whether or not to express your opinions at home. Analysis: Firstly, as the OP, you are already 22 years old, which means you are an adult. Being an adult means being independent, so whenever you express your thoughts and ideas in front of your parents, you will face strong opposition, and even your father may attribute your actions to extremism. In fact, this is a common desire for control that most parents have to some extent. They want to protect you completely, fearing that you may take the wrong path. However, they fail to realize that everyone has their own thoughts and preferences. Advice: Since you are still preparing for exams and financially dependent on your parents for survival, the control they exert over you is their inherent desire for protection and control, and they fail to realize the discomfort it causes you. First, you can try to communicate with them and express how their excessive concerns make you feel uneasy. Generally, parents care about their children, so if you feel uncomfortable, it contradicts their original intention. Perhaps a calm and peaceful conversation can resolve your worries. However, some parents are more stubborn and do not care about their children's true feelings. That's okay too. When you become financially independent and can move out, it's good to maintain a certain physical distance from your parents and live according to your own wishes. By then, your parents will also gradually accept your independence and show respect.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I would like to respond to you on several aspects and see if it can give you some inspiration. 1. First, you need to understand that parents always hope for the happiness of their children's marriage. You're 22 years old, and it's normal for your mother to worry about your marriage. On the other hand, I think it's more of a problem if your parents don't ask about your marriage. 2. Have you talked to your parents about not wanting to get married? I think this is the focal point of the problem. When parents hear their child say they don't want to get married, they will naturally have more worries. As for why you don't want to get married, I didn't see a serious discussion between you and your parents about this issue. If it's because you're studying and don't have the energy to focus on marriage and family, then I believe if you explain it clearly to your parents, they won't force you to find a partner and start dating right away. However, if you truly have no intention of getting married, then it is a matter worth discussing in depth with your parents. 3. Because you often express different opinions from your parents on certain matters, they say you're radical. I think this may be due to a lack of deep communication between you and your parents, where the reasons and results of things have not been clearly expressed. I guess your mother is someone who cares a lot about her children and you might often feel frustrated because of her excessive fussing. Therefore, your communication with them may be more perfunctory. But you are concerned about them saying you're radical, especially your father's opinion of you. Therefore, in your daily life, it is important for you to learn patience and actively listen to your mother's nagging and patiently communicate and explain things to them. 4. When you hear your mom mention \"dowry\" and \"getting married,\" it makes you very uncomfortable. I think this is also a worth exploring issue. If it's because you're tired of hearing your mom nagging, to the point where anything she says annoys you, then I think you need to seriously evaluate whether you should overcome this issue on your own or seek help from a qualified psychologist. If it's only when the topic of marriage comes up that you feel uncomfortable and annoyed, then you really need a qualified psychologist to help analyze what this discomfort means, when it started, and whether it has other impacts on you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, good evening! First of all, I send you a warm hug. I can sense that you have plans and goals for your life and you're currently in a state of studying and preparing. I'm not sure which exam you're going to take, but I can feel the pressure and expectations you have. It seems like you're having difficulties communicating with your parents and there are significant differences in your views on marriage. This is causing you distress and there's no outlet for you to relieve it. You're questioning if something is wrong with you. I'm curious about what happened that led you to have such thoughts. Through your text, I can also feel the love your parents have for you. Your father is using his life experiences to tell you that you remind him of his younger self. He wants to prevent you from making the same mistakes, which is something most parents do. We are both 22 years old this year and considered adults. We have our own independent thinking, ability to consider and solve problems. We can take our parents' opinions as suggestions and we don't have to rebel or blindly obey. We can consider the good and make judgments about the things that are not. Believe in yourself, you have the ability to handle this. It's essential to not label ourselves when we have unpleasant events with people in our relationships. We may think, \"Am I sick? What's wrong with me?\" If you feel that your emotions are problematic, you can seek medical help promptly or seek assistance from a professional psychologist to adjust your mindset. Every situation has a positive aspect. I wish you success in your exams! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone has the right to express their true feelings, so you are not wrong, oh, and you are not sick either, hug you. Before graduation, parents always say, don't fall in love, study seriously; after graduation, they urge us to fall in love and get married. Actually, I have talked to my parents about not wanting to get married during certain stages of my life, but my mom would say who will take care of you in the future, you will know when you get older. Then I would say, \"I can live in a nursing home,\" and my mom would say, \"There are many abusive nursing homes.\" But actually, they are just worried that if we don't get married, there won't be anyone to take care of us when we get old, or what will we do after they are gone? My mom often brings this up, and I know when you hear these things, you feel uncomfortable, and I do too, but if you stand in your mom's shoes, you will understand why she is so worried about you not getting married. It might be helpful to calmly discuss the topic of marriage with your mom and reveal your true feelings to her. You can also tell her about your future plans and goals, letting her know that you are capable of taking care of yourself and she doesn't need to worry unnecessarily. As for the exam preparation you mentioned, I understand that it comes with a lot of mental pressure, so in your daily life, you can listen to music, exercise a little, and try meditation to relax yourself and release your emotions in a healthy way instead of bottling them up inside. Parents often use \"oppressive education\" or \"comparative education,\" which can be really hurtful to us as their children, but it might be challenging for them to change their mindset right away, so let's take it slowly. We don't have to agree with all their beliefs, and likewise, they don't have to agree with everything we think. This is a relationship of equality and freedom of dialogue. When we are in an unequal relationship with our parents, conflicts naturally arise. Handling this situation requires effort from both sides. As for being \"extreme,\" it doesn't seem to be reflected in your description, but we can also learn to recognize our own \"extreme\" language from daily conversations with our parents, which we may not be aware of. If there isn't any, then we can think about why Dad thinks I'm \"extreme\" and whether it's just based on what he sees on the surface. We can have a thorough conversation with Dad and reflect on why he used the word \"extreme.\" It might be unintentional, but it could also be a wake-up call. Hope I can help you. Good morning, good afternoon, good night.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15537
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old girl, how can I sprint and improve my grades in 10 days?",
        "description": "Now there are 10 days left until the biology and geography final exams, with a maximum score of 60. I currently have around 40 points in these two subjects. If I sprint for the next 10 days, how can I reach 50-55 points? I am seeking methods. I am willing to stay up late and study extremely hard (although I'm not sure if it will be successful).",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, it can be understood that 1. It is not far from graduating in biogeography, hoping to improve grades. 2. To achieve this, one can squeeze their own energy and adjust their daily schedule. [A little advice] 1. First, it is not advisable to study until late at night and exhaust one's energy. In a tired state, the brain's ability to absorb knowledge weakens, and the efficiency of learning is lower than the original planned method. Especially staying up late and sleeping less is not beneficial for the brain's ability to recover and learn. 2. There is a fairly effective method - doing exercises and analyzing wrong answers. Approaching exams, finding wrong answers through doing exercises, and then analyzing these mistakes to supplement one's knowledge is a recommended and effective way to improve one's learning. Hope this helps OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16555
       },
       {
        "question": "How should I communicate with my 11-year-old daughter who put a pen in her pants?",
        "description": "I watch my daughter's selfie video. At the beginning, she was playing with the slime by herself. Then, after a while, she took a pen and put it in her pants. I don't know how to communicate with her about this.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, growing up process, communication between parents and children.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see that you mentioned your daughter's behavior, and it made me a little curious. However, what differs from you is that I am not curious about the child's behavior, but rather curious about why you raised this question. What are you worried about? And why can't you just ask your child directly why she did such a thing? From your trust, I can see that you are a very loving mother to your daughter, and you pay special attention to her every word and action. So when you see this behavior that you don't quite understand, it's understandable that you have some doubts. At times like this, the best way to find answers is to communicate directly with your child, using objective and descriptive statements to ask questions such as, \"I just saw you... and I'm curious, why did you do that?\" These are just my personal thoughts to share with you, for reference only.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6878
       },
       {
        "question": "People in crowded places often find it difficult to be themselves. How can they alleviate this situation?",
        "description": "Every time there is a crowded situation, like when the boss treats us to a meal, family gatherings, or class reunions, I feel confident and comfortable expressing myself when I'm at home alone, singing and dancing without hesitation. But when it comes to big occasions, I become self-conscious and nervous. How can I alleviate this situation? Is it because of the fear of judgement? How can I convince myself?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm the same way, but when I was working before, my manager would also assign me some training tasks, such as giving lectures to dozens of people. 1- Prepare the script and revise it until I can read it smoothly or even memorize it. 2- Practice speaking in front of a mirror and observe my own performance, whether it's appropriate and confident. Practice repeatedly. 3- Treat the audience as a row of colorful balloons, as if I am giving a speech to the balloons. 4- Don't care about others' opinions, just perform. Whether it's good or bad, it's a form of personal growth. If you can do these basics, you won't be so nervous, and with more experiences, you will gradually improve.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4203
       },
       {
        "question": "I am overly concerned about others' opinions and often worry about making mistakes afterwards. Do you have any suggestions?",
        "description": "I have always been very concerned about negative evaluations from others. Sometimes, in order to prevent others from having a negative opinion of me, I intentionally do things. Afterwards, I am always afraid of having done something wrong. Does anyone have similar experiences and any good suggestions?",
        "keywords": "Social anxiety disorder",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! After reading your description, I have a certain understanding of the question you want to ask, and I also give you a virtual hug in four-dimensional space. From your description, I can see that you care a lot about other people's opinions, especially those negative ones. Actually, being overly concerned about other people's negative opinions is, to some extent, a lack of self-confidence, and it may also stem from a fear of not being liked by others, or even perfectionism. Therefore, people like this may pay too much attention to negative comments and sometimes even go to great lengths to change those comments. You also mentioned in your description that sometimes you intentionally do things to prevent others from having negative opinions about you. I have experienced similar situations myself, where I deliberately do things that others ask of me in order to leave a good impression on them, and after doing those things, I even ponder about whether I did well and left a good impression on that person. So, I have summarized some methods to help you alleviate the current situation. (1) Try to accept the imperfect aspects of yourself, because there are no perfect people in this world, everyone has flaws. (2) Try to adjust your mindset and approach life and people with a positive attitude. (3) When we have made efforts but still fail to change others' opinions of us, don't dwell too much on it, learn to be yourself and walk your own path. Let others say what they want to say! Because we cannot control others' thoughts, so just be ourselves. (4) When you feel too much pressure, you can release that stress through exercise or listening to music. (5) Talk to the people close to you about the things you encounter, express your thoughts, and release your emotions in the process. (6) Try to shift your attention, redirecting it from others to things that interest you, and engage in meaningful activities. The world and I love you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I understand your dilemma. Many times, we care a lot about negative evaluations from others, sometimes to the point that ten positive evaluations are worth less than one negative evaluation. Because we fear negative evaluations from others, we intentionally do things and also fear making mistakes. So, what should we do in these situations? How do we face this issue? I will share my understanding with you, hoping to inspire you. Everyone desires recognition and attention, and this is completely normal. However, the key point is that we should have a strong understanding of ourselves and know who we are as individuals. We shouldn't let others' evaluations change our own evaluations of ourselves. We should have a clear and stable self-perception. This brings up the topic of self-identity. The formation of self-identity is an extremely important task in one's life. During the process of forming self-identity, we may encounter crises of self-identity. These crises may include feelings of defeat when others have negative evaluations of us, which leads to doubt and denial of ourselves, as well as rejecting the existing values we have. An individual gains self-identity when they can take responsibility for themselves, accommodate contradictions and imperfections, and exhibit more stability and positivity in their life and life approach. So, from this perspective, you will know that when your self-identity is stable enough, others' evaluations of you will not have such a strong impact on you. When we face failure, we can forgive ourselves because even the most outstanding individuals make mistakes. Moreover, we can view ourselves more positively and tell ourselves, \"I forgive myself for not being able to do it for now.\" It's okay. Regarding intentionally doing things and then fearing that we did something wrong, we should tell ourselves that those are just \"thoughts.\" Every time that voice appears in your mind, try using this six-word mantra: \"Thoughts are just thoughts.\" They do not equal facts. No matter how convincing they may be, just ignore them. If you are interested and have the time, you can participate in a self-identity training camp to help you grow. After completing the training camp, I no longer care about the evaluations from others as much. The world and I love you! Best wishes to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Being too concerned about others' evaluations shows that on one hand, you have certain expectations for yourself and hope to receive approval from others; on the other hand, it indicates that you lack sufficient self-confidence and worry about negative evaluations from others. Everyone to some extent desires recognition from others and hopes for positive evaluations. Life is always about living for oneself. Intentionally doing things to make your life better reflects your attitude towards life. However, if you do things just to please others, you will always be afraid of making mistakes, which can create pressure for you to some extent. It is recommended to be more natural in life. The world is so big, and you are a unique individual. Recognize your strengths, pay attention to others' evaluations but don't overly concern yourself with them. Add some fun to your life, enrich yourself, and feel the inner fulfillment. Smile at yourself and others. When you have positive evaluations of yourself, others' evaluations, whether good or bad, will become less important.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, giving you a big hug. I can totally understand how you feel. Firstly, it's worth celebrating that you have realized the problem and want to change it. I hope my analysis and suggestions can help you. From your description, I sense that you care a lot about how others perceive you. In essence, you probably have a psychological need to be respected and acknowledged. This in itself is completely normal, but if you become overly concerned about others' opinions and it burdens you mentally, it can lead to anxiety. Therefore, regarding others' opinions, I suggest that you strive to \"embrace constructive criticism and ignore baseless gossip\". First, **assess the nature of the criticism**. For those that are constructive, you can reflect on yourself and continuously improve. For those that are idle gossip, just listen and don't let those words waste your time or upset you. ---- It can be seen that you fear making mistakes afterwards, indicating a lack of self-confidence in the outcome of your actions. \"Lack of self-confidence is in fact a lack of self-worth.\" I recommend that you engage in activities that can help you find a sense of worth, such as things you are interested in or good at. This will enhance your self-confidence. Everyone is unique and has their own shining points, you just haven't discovered them yet. It will take some time and observation for you to find your own strengths. \"It's not that things aren't beautiful, it's just a lack of eyes to see the beauty.\" Wishing you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, I hope my response can bring you some help. I used to be very concerned about other people's opinions and would often worry about whether I had done something wrong. However, I have changed now. So, I believe that after a period of adjustment, you will also be like me. In the Yue Lu Academy, there is a pair of couplets with the first three lines: judge right and wrong based on one's own conscience, listen to praise or criticism from others, and accept gains and losses as fate. This means that right and wrong should be measured using one's own conscience, we should have an inner scale to evaluate ourselves; it's better to listen to how others praise or criticize us; accept gains and losses in life as part of destiny's arrangement. In the book \"A Change of Thought,\" it says there are only three things in the world: one's own business, other people's business, and heaven's business. People become troubled because they do not manage their own affairs well and worry about other people's and heaven's affairs. When we do what we want to do and have done our best, we may still face negative criticism. At this point, we need to adjust our mindset. We have already done our best to complete the task, we have done what we should do, but we cannot control how others evaluate us. Therefore, we should not be concerned about other people's opinions because we truly cannot control others' behavior and thoughts. So, we need to face all evaluations calmly. We cannot make everyone like us, even great people may not be liked by everyone. Therefore, we should do our best and let things take their own course. Regarding mistakes, we need to have the right perception. It is impossible to go through life without making mistakes; making mistakes is normal because we grow gradually while resolving mistakes. No one is born without making any mistakes, everyone grows through mistakes. If we make mistakes, we shouldn't be afraid, we should actively find ways to resolve them. Additionally, the most important thing is to have sufficient self-awareness. We need to know what we want, we can evaluate ourselves accurately, and we can accept our strengths and weaknesses objectively. This way, we won't negate ourselves because of a few comments from others. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the original poster! This is a common problem. In this society, it is inevitable for people to come into contact with others. From infancy, we observe changes in the external environment and pay particular attention to our direct caregivers, which shows that we are naturally concerned about the evaluations of those around us. Proper consideration of others' evaluations can contribute to our healthy growth, help us establish self-esteem, and improve our shortcomings. Overly valuing others' evaluations can potentially bring us trouble. When we find ourselves feeling anxious or tense because of worrying about evaluations, we can try to think, \"I am who I am, no one is perfect, nobody is flawless, and I accept my imperfections.\" Just some humble thoughts, hope it helps you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! After reading your question, I want to give you a comforting hug. Perhaps your current state is due to being overly sensitive, lacking a sense of security, and having low self-confidence. In light of this, I have a few suggestions that I hope can help you! Adjust your mindset and build self-confidence: Recognize your own worth and encourage yourself more. Believe in your own value, acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, and only by honestly accepting both can you improve yourself. Lacking self-confidence leads to excessive self-doubt and caring too much about others' opinions and fear of negative evaluations. This will hinder your self-improvement and plunge you into negative emotions or even self-doubt. (Give yourself positive affirmations to effectively build self-confidence). Face your weaknesses honestly: Don't avoid others' evaluations of you out of fear. View others' evaluations of you with a positive attitude and the ability to discern. Constructive feedback from others helps you to promptly identify your weaknesses and make improvements, which is beneficial to continuously improve yourself and become a better version of yourself. Find a good position and avoid falling into the spotlight effect: The spotlight effect refers to the tendency of people to see themselves as the center of attention and overestimate the degree to which others pay attention to them. In reality, no one will constantly focus on you; people generally care about themselves. Find your own position, work diligently, and accumulate substantial progress. Handle all unpleasant things with an objective, realistic attitude in order to accept them better. You tend to focus too much on others' evaluations of you, which consumes a lot of your attention and thinking and even makes you feel displeased and doubtful of yourself. Consequently, you have no time to deal with more important matters and thoughts. Please focus more on yourself. Believe in yourself, affirm yourself. Embrace courage, push forward, and become a better version of yourself. Your personal mental health advisor is by your side. May my words bring warmth to you! Also, thank you to occasional readers passing by. Please feel free to follow me and mark it as \"helpful\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Did your parents criticize you a bit during your upbringing? Were they stingy with praising your language? Our self-evaluation initially comes from the evaluations of important people around us during our growth process. So, can you reflect on the interactions you had with your parents in some past scenes? You can remember a mantra: walk your own path and let others say what they want. In fact, no one can gain approval from everyone, nor can anyone go through life without making any mistakes. Do you agree with this? Your \"fear of making mistakes\" actually means that you want everything you do to be right, to be perfect. Your \"fear of receiving negative evaluations from others\" actually means that you wish to obtain approval and likability from \"everyone\" through your efforts. So, take a closer look, is your worry itself an unrealistic obsession? China alone has 1.3 billion people, even if you receive praise and likability from 1.2 billion people, the probability of the remaining 100 million people who don't care about you randomly appearing around you is still quite high. After all, we usually only know a few dozen or a few hundred people. Understanding this, can you tell yourself to relax a bit, let go of the obsession, and not care about what the random \"others\" say that appear around you, just focusing on doing things to your own satisfaction? Moreover, I want to tell you that those who casually criticize and evaluate others' actions are often the ones who haven't done anything themselves or can't do things well. So, let the passing gossip go with the wind, and just happily walk your own path.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3442
       },
       {
        "question": "37-year-old mother, her parents leaving their hometown but experiencing cold violence and insults from their son-in-law.",
        "description": "I met my husband in 2009 and got married in 2013. Our child was born in 2014. From pregnancy until now, my mother has been taking care of me and my family meticulously. My mother is a kind person who knows how to handle things and speak appropriately. However, I can't help but feel discontent because my husband has been making very little contribution to the family and disregarding any advice given to him. But I have been putting up with it. Recently, my husband even swore at my mother, saying \"it's none of your business\". I can't tolerate his attitude anymore. I asked him to apologize, but he either doesn't respond to my messages or avoid coming home. The parenting styles between our two families are worlds apart. My parents have been frugal to support us through college, afraid that we would suffer even a little. When we started our own family, my parents also made great efforts to support us. My mother has been suffering from rheumatism for a long time and can't sleep at night due to the pain. On the other hand, his parents have never shown any care or concern for our family. They have never called us in all these years. When our child was six months old, my husband went abroad. He only came back when our child turned five, and even then, he went to work in a neighboring city. He comes home once or twice a month, but he acts like a master at home and never does any housework. He doesn't listen to any of my advice. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concepts of marriage, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, son-in-law.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, facing parents who are willing to work hard and endure, but are not respected and even scolded, as a daughter, you must be very sad. The sadness filled with guilt is something you cannot let go of. You can tolerate your husband's indifference, but it is unbearable to be hurt by your own parents, isn't it? Perhaps it's time for you to consider your relationship with your husband when he behaves like this towards your parents. Why have you never considered your own feelings in this ongoing family situation, and instead encouraged your husband's long-term neglect of the family? If both you and your parents rely on your husband for financial support, then ask yourself, would he think he shouldn't have to care about anything? His parents would think even more that their son is supporting your entire family, so they would naturally think it is his responsibility to not care, right? Even if your parents are financially independent, I can sense that they are too involved in your life. They cross the boundaries of a family, where the basic composition of a family should be you, your husband, and children. In this family dynamic, your husband seems more like an outsider from your original family, so how could he possibly have the desire to be more involved? Your parents are not at fault; it's just that their efforts towards you have become a habit, causing you to rely on them more than your husband. The main issue is your state of mind, whether you have enough strength to let your parents live their own lives and take on the responsibility of your own family. This is a process of self-growth. Can you detach your emotional dependence on your parents and your financial dependence on your husband, and have the courage to face independent challenges? This is your homework. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: I'm sure you must be feeling very painful being caught in the middle, with your parents on one side and your husband on the other. Your parents have been working hard to take care of you and your family, even swallowing their pride, while your husband is often away and doesn't seem to appreciate their efforts. From this point of view, your emotions lean towards your parents. However, I can also see that you seem to understand why your husband behaves this way: the family values and education between the two families are completely different. You say that your husband doesn't listen to your suggestions, and I guess these suggestions are for the sake of harmonizing the relationship between your parents and your husband. Obviously, your husband is unwilling to accept them, and of course, you don't want your parents to suffer. What should you do? I don't know if you realize that your parents are suffering because they are taking care of you in your home. In other words, if you leave your family, your parents won't face this kind of suffering anymore. What do you think? Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Give the OP a warm hug. From the OP's description, I understand that the attitude and behavior of the OP's husband towards the OP's parents make the OP uncomfortable. Different family backgrounds and personalities can lead to different ways of handling the same matter. Although there is no obligation for a son-in-law to respect his parents-in-law, the current situation is indeed very detrimental to the relationship and married life. I can also feel that the OP is a very filial person. In this regard, the OP may try to communicate more with her husband, clarify these issues and your family situation, and express the expectation of giving parents the respect they deserve. On the other hand, we can also try to organize more family activities to increase mutual understanding and strengthen the relationship between each other.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: You must be feeling very miserable being caught in the middle, with your parents on one side and your husband on the other. Your parents have been doing their best to take care of you and your family, even swallowing their pride, while your husband is often absent and doesn't show gratitude even when he returns. From this, it seems like your emotional attachment leans more towards your parents. However, I can also see that you seem to understand why your husband behaves this way: the upbringing and values in both families are completely different. You mentioned that your husband doesn't listen to your advice, and I assume that these suggestions were made to facilitate a harmonious relationship between your parents and your husband. Clearly, your husband is unwilling to accept them, and you certainly don't want your parents to be mistreated. What should you do? I wonder if you realize that your parents only experience this mistreatment because they are in your household. In other words, if they were apart from your family, they wouldn't face such mistreatment. What do you think? Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6312
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old woman is afraid to make eye contact with others, how to develop the ability to have normal communication with people?",
        "description": "I have always been afraid to make direct eye contact with others, especially with the opposite sex, because I'm afraid that the moment our eyes meet, it will be interpreted as a \"desire for physical intimacy.\" Maybe it's because I'm aware of my own vulnerability at home and in society that I always have this fantasy of a powerful opposite sex figure who can \"conquer\" my body, acting as my protector to help me overcome external troubles and fully develop myself. However, I also understand that in reality, someone who tries to \"conquer\" your body may not protect you; instead, they may take advantage of you, which is why I'm so afraid. I keep myself tightly enclosed. With strangers, I'm afraid to easily express my feelings of loneliness. With those who are kind to me, I also try to reciprocate, but I can't get closer to them because I set limits for myself, and they also have their own mature and stable social circles. They can also quickly sense my inner uneasiness and may try to hurt me by feigning affection. I really want to overcome my fear of making eye contact with others, and I want to have the ability to communicate with people normally and stop enclosing myself. Can everyone please help me?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "This young lady, hello, I patiently read through the long background story you wrote in the comments section, to be honest, it touched my heart! It's really hard to imagine how you've managed to get through all these years! Sending you a warm hug (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065 Judging from the length of your story, I can imagine that during your growth process, you have accumulated a tremendous amount of negative emotions in your subconscious, forming an emotional \"dam\" in your heart that has become overwhelming! Now that you have poured out all of these emotions, do you feel better in your heart? It is evident that the union between your parents was based more on \"talent\" and \"family wealth,\" these visible and tangible material interests, rather than \"emotions.\" Moreover, after marriage, your father often quarreled with your mother over these material interests and frequently vented his anger on you and your mother, transferring his frustrations from work onto the two of you. This is a typical \"kick the cat effect.\" It can be imagined that from childhood to adulthood, you have not experienced any \"parental love\" from your parents. The \"love box\" in your innermost being has long been empty! In addition, your mother does not understand love, does not know how to love, and either does not care or interferes indiscriminately in your interpersonal relationships, resulting in severe setbacks in your social interactions. \"I dared to make eye contact with my mother, but I was afraid to do so with my father. My father once had the experience of having sex with my mother while I was asleep beside them. When I woke up, I felt incredibly scared, and he also put his hand on my chest while buying clothes for me, which made me have a strong resistance towards him and dare not look at him, and even blush sometimes. His reaction was very proud, he would come out in only underwear after taking a shower and look at himself in the mirror behind me. Because of this, I have argued with him many times, but he would say I am sick and not listen to my advice to put on some clothes. So since I entered university until now, I try to go back home as little as possible.\" From this, it can be seen that your father lacks clear \"psychological boundaries\" in terms of male-female relationships, and has even had similar \"sexual implications\" towards you, causing you to feel unsafe in front of him! Combined with what you mentioned in your writing, \"I have always been afraid to make direct eye contact with others, especially with the opposite sex,\" you have unconsciously expanded this \"fear\" of your father to all the opposite sex. In the language of behavioral psychology, this is called \"stimulus generalization\" or \"emotional response generalization.\" The saying, \"Once bitten by a snake, one is afraid of well ropes for ten years,\" comes to mind! \"With the same sex, maybe it's the influence of movies with same-sex themes and online public opinion. I have blushed and had an accelerated heartbeat with a girl before. Maybe I have the potential to be bisexual, but I understand that the feeling at that time wasn't love. Besides longing for attachment, I had nothing else for her,\" in fact, your situation is also a longing for \"motherly love.\" Because, although your mother has raised you more, due to her \"lack of understanding and inability to love,\" you have never truly felt genuine \"motherly love.\" In short, the problem lies with you, but the root cause is in your original family. And, as you mentioned, your problem has affected your daily relationships and work. Because this problem is not a temporary one, but the result of \"deep and long-term immersion\" in your original family, it will not be resolved in just a day or two. As a personal recommendation, if you have the financial means, consider finding a good psychotherapist for long-term and systematic counseling! Starting from your relationship with your mother, try to repair the \"emotional connection\" between you and your mother. If possible, you can also involve your mother and do \"family system therapy\" together. Try to change your mother's mindset and repair the \"intimacy\" between your parents, dissolve the \"long-standing emotional knots\" in your entire family, and ignite the hope of your entire family's vitality. Hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ It is not easy for someone like you, who doesn't dare to express their inner feelings, to speak out on such a public platform. Facing such immense internal pressure, I imagine you feel both the desire for others' care and the fear of their potential harm, making you feel both uncomfortable and helpless. As you continue to describe your experiences, you will gradually discover and explore your own inner self, specifically the feeling of \"inner restlessness.\" This is very positive. (I encourage and appreciate the process of self-exploration and speaking about these feelings.) In your description, you mentioned \"enclosing yourself tightly,\" but as you express yourself, you are gradually opening up. Slowly, you are learning to articulate your innermost thoughts. This is very significant. (When someone's inner thoughts enclose themselves, it is to protect oneself from getting hurt by things around them.) Based on your description, I have some questions and thoughts: - You mentioned not daring to make eye contact with others. How is it with your parents and close friends? Do you also experience \"physical desire\" towards individuals of the same gender? - When you mentioned \"wanting to engage in cheap ambiguity that would hurt me,\" what kind of \"cheap ambiguity\" are you referring to? Why does it make you feel hurt? - You are aware of these issues within yourself. What prevents you from facing others directly? - You know that you impose limitations on yourself. What hinders you from breaking those limitations? - How do you feel when you look directly at others? Why do you feel resistant during that moment of \"desire for communication\"? (During your narration, the focus appears to be on the situation, seemingly without your internal feelings.) Usually, these questions are discussed with therapists. Here, due to the limitations of the platform and privacy concerns, the help provided is limited. It is essential to be patient with yourself and the counselor given your circumstances. Building a relationship is not an easy task for you. Your inner being is afraid and tries to protect itself through self-isolation. When snails encounter external stimuli, they retract, only carefully venturing out when they feel safe. Give yourself some encouragement and recognition; you have the ability to empower yourself. Since the Q&A format and public platforms have their restrictions and privacy concerns, the assistance provided is limited. I hope you understand. If possible, and conditions permit during this difficult phase, consider seeking a suitable therapist to talk about recent events in your life. In a counseling setting, due to the nature and professionalism of their work, they can provide you with support and remind you that you are not alone. Feel free to private message me if you have any questions. I hope this can stimulate your thoughts and provide some assistance.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, allow me to give you a warm hug. From your narrative, it can be seen that you have some self-esteem sensitivities and fear of being hurt by others. You yearn for someone to enter your world but are afraid to open yourself up, so you end up wearing thick protective armor to safeguard your soul. I can understand how you feel because I, too, have reasons for not daring to communicate with others, but I do have some expectations when it comes to the opposite sex. Because you desire to be cared for and loved, you have more imaginations in your mind, but negative experiences in life have made you afraid of being deceived, so you never dare to take that step. However, you also don't like being this way, right? One is already hurt, the other is potentially hurt. If possible, I suggest you give it a try. What I mean is not to find that person, but rather to make an effort to familiarize yourself with the people around you and amaze yourself with your courage. Here are my suggestions for you: love yourself first in order to be loved by others. In fact, the person we most care about is ourselves. We may envy what others have, but that is also what we hope to have. We all hope to be better, so let's not rush to deny ourselves. Give yourself some courage, and you will discover that you can do more. Building a woman's sense of security comes from ourselves. Recently, \"Sisters Who Make Waves\" has been quite popular, and Zhang Yuki has gained many fans. Many fans admire her personality, which is brave, open, and forthright. A big part of this comes from her own confidence - she has wealth, beauty, and strength. However, if you carefully search, you will find that her emotional journey has not been smooth. But this does not hinder her from shining brightly. When you become outstanding, what will you be afraid of? Communicating with classmates more. The most difficult thing in the world is often taking that first step. As someone who also didn't dare to communicate with others for a long time, I can understand your feelings very well. I used to walk with my head down, afraid of running into acquaintances, and reluctantly had to disguise myself with coldness and arrogance. As a result, many people saw me as someone difficult to get along with. Maybe it was my unwillingness. I didn't want to be much worse than others, so I had to force myself to lift my head, greet people, and play together. In fact, many times things are not so difficult, it's just our inner fears that add more chains, making us afraid to face them. The worst result is simply going back to the starting point, isn't it? Let go of your fears, gather courage, and defeat them. Participating in group activities and team building exercises can bring people closer together. When we participate in group activities, our goal is to stand united against the outside and defeat our opponents. In these situations, we will be more willing to invest trust in each other and more easily discover each other's shining points through cooperation. You will also easily develop a sense of satisfaction and usefulness. Finally, I wish you to overcome this trouble soon and become a joyful little fairy. Believe in yourself and keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner: People say that eyes are the windows to the soul, and through the eyes, one can understand your inner world to a certain extent. For example, when you are happy, sad, thinking, or anxious, your eyes will behave differently. Perhaps you are afraid to look into other people's eyes because you are afraid of being seen through, afraid of being hurt by others! Let's first analyze your problem: you are afraid of making eye contact with others, especially the opposite sex. Because you believe that eye contact will turn into a communication of desire. At home and in society, you are in a vulnerable position, so you hope to be conquered by a powerful member of the opposite sex, and then protected by them. However, you are even more afraid that the person who \"conquers your body\" will take advantage of you. So you want to protect yourself by closing yourself off. Let's talk about same-sex first. Imagine two girls who are similar in physical condition and psychological thinking, there is certainly no communication of desire between them. Maybe they will take advantage of you, but what do you have that is worth their exploitation? Your body? First of all, you are a person with thoughts, and you can judge whether others are using you or not. And there shouldn't be any emotional confusion between people of the same sex. So, at least with people of the same sex, you should be able to learn how to communicate normally. At first, you may not dare to look directly at each other, but if you try several times, you will gradually get used to it. As for the opposite sex, it is normal for you to be truly afraid. This is especially true for introverted and conservative girls. They have expectations of the opposite sex and hope that the other person will be strong enough to protect themselves, but at the same time, they are afraid that the other person will be too strong and hurt them. In fact, it is very necessary for girls to maintain normal vigilance because you are inherently at a disadvantage to some extent. Perhaps the limitations you impose on others are just because others have not truly entered your heart, and it is not a problem with yourself. As you said, \"if others treat you well, you will treat them well too.\" Moreover, there can also be friendship between the opposite sex. Even if someone does have those intentions towards you, it is understandable. It just depends on how you feel about the other person whether it will develop into something more. Furthermore, we will all fall in love and get married and have children. Can you really go your whole life without falling in love or getting married? Obviously, that's impossible. The reason why your relationships with others can't progress further may also be that the \"right person\" hasn't appeared in your life yet. Lastly, let's talk about your fear of making eye contact. There are actually many people around us who have a fear of making eye contact. People who dare to make eye contact exude a certain aura that can be intimidating, and you instinctively feel fear and have to avoid it. This situation can only be improved through some training. You can start by trying with the people closest to you, such as family, best friends, and close friends. Gradually increase the time spent making eye contact. Perhaps after a period of time, you will get used to this feeling of making eye contact and the fear will not be as strong. When you feel that you no longer feel pressured when making eye contact with someone close to you, you can intentionally try it in public places without talking to them, just look into people's eyes. Start with short periods of time and then gradually increase. The more fearful something is, the less scary it becomes once you have tried it and nothing serious happened. I hope these suggestions can give you some inspiration, and I hope you can have more and better friends.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This girl, hello, I am very honored to meet you on this platform. I hope my words can bring sunshine to you and warm your heart. Remember this phrase: \"The eyes are the windows to the soul.\" The fact that you dare not make eye contact with others today indicates that the \"door\" of your inner world is closed to the outside world. You have a deep resistance in interpersonal communication. \"Maybe because you are aware of your own weak situation at home and in society, there has always been a powerful opposite sex figure in your fantasy who can 'conquer' your body, act as your protector, help you get rid of external troubles, and help you fully develop yourself.\" From this sentence, it can be seen that your ability of \"self-awareness\" is quite good. Because of your \"weakness\" in family and even society, you lack a sense of security, so you long for a \"protective umbrella\" to protect you, even at the cost of sacrificing your own body. I believe this is the fundamental reason for your \"closed heart\". \"I also understand that the people who 'conquer' your body in real life may not protect you, but are more likely to take advantage of you, so I am always afraid and keep myself tightly wrapped. I am afraid to easily open up to strangers who come close, and I feel lonely in my heart. For those who treat me well, I will also treat them well, but I cannot get closer to them because I set limits for myself, and they also have their mature and stable social circles.\" You crave a boyfriend who can be like a \"protective umbrella\", but you have seen and heard too many \"jerks\" in reality, which deepens your sense of insecurity, causing you to close your heart even tighter! Even if you encounter someone who treats you well, you are not willing to completely open your heart. To sum it up, you long to open your heart to others, but for various reasons, you find it difficult to overcome the barriers in your heart. Right? What I want to say is: if you want others to love you, first learn to love yourself! You can try to quantify your fears or insecurities: 1. What are you afraid of? 2. What is the likelihood of that fearful thing happening? If expressed in percentages, what would you say? 3. Even if it actually happened, what would be the impact on you? 4. Can you try to explore or utilize some kind of resources to cope with this impact? Believe me, when you have truly sorted out these questions, those things you worry about will no longer be called \"problems\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This is my background story. If you are willing to help me, please read the following content. Thank you for your help. My mother has always raised me since childhood, so I have always lived with them until before going to college and have never been away from them. Therefore, I have relied on them a lot in my daily life. Their only requirement for me is to study well. When I have problems with my classmates, they don't care about my feelings and the interpersonal relationships in my class. Instead, they criticize everyone in a way that brings everyone down to \"hell\". They instill in me the idea that I don't need to adapt to others, that it is always others who have problems, and that the only thing I need to do is to manage my own studies. So, until before going to college, I didn't have any long-term friends, and my mental state remained at the elementary school stage. I didn't like going out shopping with classmates, and I didn't have ways to stay in touch with them like QQ. My usual entertainment was watching cartoons at home on television, or occasionally watching some youth idol dramas when I felt a bit moved. I didn't participate in listening to popular songs, discussing gossip, liking/disliking teachers, reading idle books, or forming small groups during adolescence, so I didn't have a window or capability to connect with them. My parents went through a stock market crash when I was in junior high school, which caused our relatively affluent family to face difficulties and also led to conflicts and arguments. My parents met through an arranged marriage. My father was attracted to my mother's wealth, and my mother was attracted to my father's talents. However, after marriage, my father's \"male chauvinism\" and my young age meant I lacked care. My father made my mother stop working and focus on raising me, and from that moment, my mother gradually lost her financial status. In recent years, she has become the representative of waste in my father's eyes. The stock market crash and subsequent continuous arguments may have affected my father's standing among his colleagues. Coupled with his arrogance and his refusal to listen to superiors, he was later met with some difficulties at work and would take it out on us when he returned home. I started to be ignored in junior high school. My mother only focused on arguing with him, and my father only focused on taking back her financial rights and making a comeback in the stock market. Although my parents had conflicts in junior high school, my grades were still relatively good. I always ranked in the top three of my grade, and I had a male classmate who constantly ranked first. But later on, I had a small conflict with a classmate. My mother stood up for me and went to the school to fight her, but she fought the wrong person and fought the staff instead of the main person. Afterwards, she didn't apologize and spread rumors everywhere. She even went to her parents and spoke ill of her. As a result, I was isolated by my classmates. My grades declined, and my crush started doing homework with other girls instead. In high school, I didn't have QQ and didn't actively make friends. My life revolved only around school and family, leading to a monotonous existence. However, because our homeroom teacher would often change our seating arrangements, I had some interactions with my desk-mate and the students in front and behind me. They invited me to go shopping together, but my mother didn't allow it, saying that they were not good people. Although I now realize it was just an excuse for my mother to prevent me from spending money, I believed her at the time. They shared snacks during break time, but my mother didn't buy them for me, saying that snacks from the school supermarket were rubbish and I couldn't eat theirs. But my mother also bought me very little, just a little bit each time, so I couldn't \"repay\" them. I felt embarrassed to eat their snacks and didn't have enough snacks to satisfy my own cravings, so the smell of those snacks during break time always made me find an excuse to go outside for fresh air. They wanted to add me as a QQ friend, but I didn't know what that was. I told my father, but he didn't allow me to use his computer and didn't give me an account, saying it would affect my studies. So at that time, I couldn't expand my online interaction with classmates, and I lost out on many common interests and shared memories. After graduation, I also lost many ways to stay in touch with friends. My university life was especially lonely, even though I later added some friends, we didn't have much to talk about. In high school, many classmates had their own cell phones, and I wanted one too, but in the end, I only received an old-style phone from my grandfather that couldn't access QQ. My desire to be conquered by a strong person of the opposite sex may stem from a long-term lack of paternal love. The fear of making eye contact with others may be due to a heightened awareness of my disadvantaged position. The presence of sexual desire in eye contact may also stem from coming of age and a desire to experience such things. I dare to make eye contact with my mother, but there was a time when I didn't dare with my father. My father once had a sexual experience with my mother while I was sleeping next to her. When I woke up, I felt extremely scared. He also had an experience of putting his hand on my chest while shopping for clothes, which made me develop a strong resistance towards him and even made me unable to look at him. Sometimes, I would blush. His reaction to this was very proud. He would come out after taking a shower, wearing only underwear, and go to the mirror behind me to look at himself. Because of this, I tried to avoid going home as much as possible from the time I started university till now. Towards the same sex, it may be due to the influence of movies with same-sex themes and online discussions. I once felt red-faced and accelerated heartbeat towards a female classmate. Perhaps I have the potential for bisexuality, but I understand that what I felt at the time was not love. Besides longing, I had nothing else for her. Towards the opposite sex, it may be due to dual reasons: my father's bad influence and my own awakening after reaching adulthood. I both desire and fear having a relationship. I am not good at hiding myself. When I interacted with boys before, I would always feel nervous, my mind would go blank, and sometimes I would even blush and have an accelerated heartbeat, making it difficult to maintain eye contact. But now I have gradually been able to chat and have conversations with them normally, and I can also maintain eye contact with some people, but I can't deepen relationships with them. Some male colleagues can keenly sense my desires and insecurities and deliberately flirt with me, wanting to take advantage of me for cheap thrills. After a while, when they can't get what they want, they start giving me a hard time, causing me a lot of trouble at work. I don't know what kind of reputation I have gained among my male colleagues. No male colleague has given me positive feedback, and I have been at a loss. Gradually, I have transformed my inferiority complex into a defiant attitude. Fortunately, I have always had strong work abilities, mainly because I don't have a personal life and work occupies almost all of my life. As a result, my superiors have promoted me several times and even tried to have me lead a small team. However, due to the jealousy of some female colleagues, they targeted me for a long time, causing me to feel like a stranded fish in a small pond on a beach. I am thirsty but can't swim back to the embrace of the sea. This is my background story. My life now feels like a knot. Can you please help me find a way to untie it? I am deeply grateful!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16573
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel that the people around me look down on me, but I know it is because I look down on myself.",
        "description": "I have always felt inferior, introverted, and shy, and I also have social anxiety disorder. Recently, I just got a job as a teacher at a new school, and there is another teacher with me. I feel that she is more outgoing and talkative than me, and I feel that she is more popular. Suddenly, I feel a sense of imbalance in my heart. I feel that I am not as good as her, and I feel that some teachers look down on me. But sometimes I think maybe it's because I am too insecure and introverted, and I dislike myself and look down on myself. However, I don't know what to do. For example, today when we went to get our food, me and the other new teacher, she was chatting with other teachers and I occasionally tried to join the conversation, but no one really paid attention to me. And I feel like the principal has a certain look in his eyes when he sees me being timid and nervous, I feel like he looks down on me and thinks I'm easy to be taken advantage of. I suddenly feel very uncomfortable, and I feel so inadequate. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, colleagues, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Please allow me to give you a warm hug and gently tell you that you are doing great and you deserve to be happy. You have passed your teacher certification exam, which is a stable career achievement for someone like you and me, who are in a similar situation at the age of 30 and still striving for stability. In fact, since the moment we entered society, we have hoped to find a place for ourselves, to find a sense of belonging, and to yearn for the respect of others. [Recognize your own needs] First of all, you need to clarify whether you \"do not want to\" or \"cannot\" fit in. The former means that you actually do not want to fit in, but due to the pressure of conformity, you mistakenly think that you want to fit in. The latter means that you do want to fit in and join the conversations, but you just don't know how. At this point, it's quite simple, you just need some techniques. The difficult part is the first one, where you haven't realized that you actually don't want to fit in. Most people don't have conversations with themselves to reflect on their deeper needs. For example, when everyone is gossiping about other colleagues, you actually have been repelled by these topics, finding them meaningless and boring. So why bother torturing yourself? Recognize your true needs and understand the price behind them, and many things that trouble you won't bother you as much. If you don't want to fit in by pleasing others, then the price is not being part of the group, and you need to decide which is more important to you. If it's the former, then don't force yourself to fit in. In other words, I'll give you this saying: Sheep stick together, but tigers and leopards go their own way. If you do want to fit in and the topics others talk about are genuinely interesting to you, you just lack the conversation skills. My suggestion is to read more books on psychology when you have free time, because everyone is different, and it's important to understand yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Awareness is the first step towards change, and you have bravely taken that first step. You have become aware that you are too insecure, too introverted, and you dislike yourself. Since you believe that you are the root of the problem, put more energy into yourself and see how you can become more confident. The more confident you are, the faster your progress will be in your work, and the principal and colleagues will appreciate you more. Confidence will also make you more and more beautiful. Being able to pass the teacher's exam proves that you have good professional skills and sufficient social abilities. You need to look at your strengths more and the resources you have. Among colleagues, there is not only competition but also cooperation. Since you and your colleagues who started at the same time are both newcomers, there is indeed a certain level of competition between you, but it is also easier to become friends and help each other. People may compare you two and it can be frustrating sometimes. Frustration often comes from inappropriate comparisons. Feeling inferior or jealous because you find yourself lacking in certain areas and seeing the gap with others can also motivate you to learn from them, constantly improve yourself, surpass yourself, and achieve your own success. Learning from competitors makes you more competitive, and learning to cooperate makes you more skillful in teamwork. It takes time to adapt to a new environment, so take it slow! Start by learning to appreciate yourself. You can do some exercises, such as listing your strengths and keeping track of every little success you achieve.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6650
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling uncomfortable being on the edge of the group photo while standing in the center position?",
        "description": "Today, my workplace took a group photo. I was positioned on the side in the center, and I had my arm around a leader who often criticizes me. When I saw the photo, I couldn't describe the mixed feelings in my heart. Looking at myself in the picture, I felt nauseated and disliked. The person in the photo had zero self-confidence and seemed a bit ingratiating. Psychology often talks about loving oneself, so why can't I seem to love myself?",
        "keywords": "Growing up, personality traits, self-development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title holder, hello, hugs to you~ After reading your description, it's evident that the positioning in a photo has been bothering you, and it's clear that your mood has been affected negatively. I truly sympathize with your experience. Based on your description, your appearance in a group photo has led to self-disgust. One way to no longer focus on this photo might be to distance yourself from it. I suggest placing it in a less noticeable area of your home. Although I don't have much knowledge about your behavior in real life, I still believe that this self-disgust is unnecessary, as many of us actually don't truly understand our own personalities. Not understanding oneself can lead to misunderstandings and even self-disgust. Perhaps you can reflect on your performance in your work. If you have done things you didn't want to do due to environmental circumstances, it is normal. In such environments, where choices are limited, we automatically make choices that benefit ourselves and are advantageous for survival.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 90
       },
       {
        "question": "A monthly salary of 5,000 yuan, enjoys using brand-name products, otherwise, will feel unhappy.",
        "description": "Monthly salary of 5,000, likes to use luxury brands, otherwise will be unhappy, how to define this behavior?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I have read a story about a girl who liked to buy luxury goods for herself. She just wanted to prove to everyone that \"she is worth it, and only through this way can she feel respected, admired, and have a sense of existence.\" She bought things for others, lived for the opinions and views of others. She accumulated a lot of luxury goods that she hardly used, and she still had to repay the loan every month. The pain inside, only she herself knew, which is why she sought help from a mental health consultant to change her consumption patterns. If you, as the questioner, have no restraint in buying things that you don't really need for yourself, then you have a similar mentality as this girl. If you are only for a good quality of life, it is still necessary to buy some high-quality necessities or invest in improving your own abilities.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The monthly salary of five thousand is not really high, so in order to balance income and expenses, it is advisable to carefully consider the purchase of luxury goods. Unless you have the ability to earn more money and can afford to buy them once in a few months to satisfy your inner desires. If it were me, I would also want to buy a lot of beautiful clothes and bags, but after all, life is practical. I would put my wishes aside and strive to live a good life in the present. When the income is sufficiently high, I can buy something as a reward for my hard work. However, on the flip side, there are many ways to satisfy oneself, not limited to buying luxury goods. Are they really useful? Cooking a delicious meal, going out on a trip with family or friends, appreciating the beauty of nature, or indulging in an exciting experience can also be great pleasures. Making one's life more diverse and enriching it. There's no need to compete with others or seek a sense of existence and security solely from appearances. I think it's not reliable. Feeling the practicality of life steadfastly, in my opinion, is the real deal. At least, that's how I see it. We don't have to care too much about what others think.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15383
       },
       {
        "question": "I have previously experienced fear of madness and fear of AIDS. Recently, I am afraid of mad cow disease. What should I do?",
        "description": "I have previously experienced both fear of madness and fear of AIDS, but I have recovered from them. Recently, I have been deeply afraid of mad cow disease because I accidentally ate a piece of raw beef at a buffet. Unlike rabies and AIDS, there is no vaccine for mad cow disease and it cannot be detected through tests. I am extremely panicked and neither the Sontag therapy nor the methods I have tried have actually resolved the problem. Could you please advise me on what to do? I am feeling desperate. I used to live a happy life.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello, when I saw this question, I felt sorry for you. Sending you a hug and hoping to bring you some warmth and strength through the screen. [Feedback summary] First, let me summarize what I saw. Firstly, recently, you have been unhappy in your life. Secondly, you feel that the reason for your unhappiness is the fear of mad cow disease. Thirdly, you used to fear AIDS and rabies, but now you are better. Fourthly, you believe that your fear of mad cow disease is justified because it cannot be diagnosed, prevented, or treated. Fifthly, the techniques you have tried, such as Senda therapy and acceptance, have not truly solved the problem and have caused you a lot of pain. [Understanding and analysis] Let me explain my understanding and opinion. Firstly, the whole question gives me a sense of \"fate\". It seems like fear is your destiny, and if the problem of fearing mad cow disease is solved, I feel that there will be other problems appearing. Secondly, mad cow disease. I looked up some information, and basically no cases of this disease have been found in our country. Mad cow disease is caused by feeding cows mutant proteins or using the protein from the meat of infected cows and sheep as feed. But we all know that cows eat grass, and while they might also eat feed, it is very difficult for such abnormal feed to pass inspections. Even if it can, it's not easy to find cows and sheep with the disease. So, with all these difficulties combined, finding cows and sheep with the disease, being able to sell them, being able to sell them to feed manufacturers who make abnormal feed, being able to sell the abnormal feed to cattle farmers, passing all inspections along the way, getting a green light the whole way, and you just happen to eat it, what are the chances? It's practically zero. Thirdly, the issue of therapy. I'm not very familiar with Senda therapy and acceptance methods, but I think it's good that you can recognize the problem in a timely manner and seek treatment. In my experience, this symptom is like a form of \"defense,\" fear is a form of \"defense\" against greater fears or sadness arising. [Recommended approaches] Here are a few suggestions: Firstly, I recommend psychoanalysis therapy. Whether it's breaking free from \"fate\" or seeing the truth beneath the \"defense,\" they both fall within the realm of psychoanalysis. Secondly, I suggest meditation. The meditation planet has plenty of content, both free and paid, and it's all very good. Thirdly, I recommend the book \"The Hidden Side of Yourself.\" I hope my answer can be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The steak provided by the restaurant should be edible. Some Westerners like to eat rare meat with blood, but Chinese chefs will try to cook the food thoroughly because Chinese people prefer well-done steak. There are many levels of doneness for steak: rare, medium rare, medium, and well-done. Beginners can start with medium rare, which means the steak is cooked 70%. 1. Rare steak: The inside of the steak is blood-red and maintains a certain temperature, it can be either rare or medium rare. 2. Medium rare steak: When cut open, the upper and lower sides are browned, turning pink towards the center, with the center being red. There will be blood seeping out when the steak is cut. The beef used for medium rare steak must be fresh and have a thick texture. Frozen or thin steak cannot achieve the same effect. 3. Medium steak: The inside of the steak is pink, with light gray and brown colors mixed with cooked meat. The temperature and texture of the steak are well balanced, and it doesn't taste too raw or chewy. 4. Medium well steak: This is the most popular doneness, with the inside of the steak being a mixture of light gray and brown, with a small amount of pink. The texture is slightly heavier and chewier. 5. Well-done steak: The entire steak is cooked to a brown color, and the beef is fully cooked. It may have a heavy texture, so it is generally not recommended to order a well-done steak. In the past, our ancestors and people from Northwest China also ate raw beef. Some people worry about parasites, but nowadays beef goes through strict inspections and should not be a problem. If you take a bite and feel something is wrong, you can ask the waiter to reheat it. I also suggest that you order a steak that is at least medium well in the future. If you haven't had any stomach problems so far, it means that it hasn't had any impact on you and won't harm your future health.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5594
       },
       {
        "question": "After giving birth to a child, I always can't help but burst into tears at night in the past year.",
        "description": "After giving birth to a child, I feel like a completely different person. I always have a terrible mood and no interest in anything. I constantly feel exhausted.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management, prenatal and postnatal.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand from your description that you feel helpless at night. Having a baby changes you, and it can be difficult at night when no one else is around to see the struggle. You work hard, and only you know how tough it is. Tears might flow uncontrollably sometimes. But these are things that all mothers go through, so relax. As the child grows up, all the difficulties will pass. First of all, you need to understand why you are crying. Is it because your body has changed, because it's hard and there's no one to replace you, because you weren't prepared to go from being a girl to a mother, or because of other family conflicts? Identify the root cause of your tears. Once you have identified it, try to think positively. If your body has changed, remember that it's temporary and can be restored. If you feel it's hard, remember that it's worth it because you have nurtured a little life, which is a great thing. If you feel unprepared and unable to be a mother, remember that everything can be learned. Keep a calm mindset and avoid anxiety. If you have other negative thoughts, remember to view the problem in a positive light. Lastly, learn to adjust yourself and overcome the difficulties. Raising a child is a process of role transformation. Learn to adapt to and accept the child. There's no reason to feel aggrieved. Your child is a part of you, and the selfless love of a mother can make you forget your worries and exhaustion. When you're tired, look at your sleeping child and the smile on her face. What difficulties do you still have? In conclusion, crying is a way to release emotions. There's no absolute right or wrong. Crying a little is understandable, but crying excessively is exhausting. I hope you can figure everything out, and everything will go smoothly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 763
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling difficulty in communicating with others, afraid to make direct eye contact with others.",
        "description": "Since the second year of junior high, I feel like everyone around me is paying attention to me. When I walk on the street, I think people's gazes are strange. I wonder if I look weird or if there's something on my face. I pay a lot of attention to people's expressions, whether they are directed at me or not. When I talk to someone, I dare not look them in the eye, I easily blush, and my words become incoherent. I always like to sneak a glance at people. I can't concentrate in class anymore and I'm afraid to talk to the opposite sex. I'm afraid that just like before, I'll blush or not speak well, giving others the wrong impression and thinking I'm stupid. When passing by a boy, I want to hide my face, find a hole to crawl into. There's a boy sitting to my right, and even after class, I can't dare to go out and play, afraid of bumping into someone. The main problem is my peripheral vision and my mindset, it's affecting my ability to walk... I don't know how to interact with others, I feel like I have nothing to say, very awkward. I usually go around by myself. Even if I make friends, it's hard for me to let loose and have fun. I can't even crack a joke with someone else. Even when boys and girls take the initiative to talk to me, I can't handle the \"opportunity\". My attitude becomes very cold, I can't control my tone... and now no one talks to me, I feel very irritated.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, anxiety, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your written expression, it seems very similar to my previous experience. Actually, this kind of phenomenon is not normal, and we can overcome it through effort. It's nothing to worry about. But why does this situation occur in us? 1. People who feel inferior, lack confidence, are introverted, and have poor social skills. These people always feel that they are not good enough, don't accept themselves, and always feel inferior or unworthy compared to others, or feel anxious and afraid in social situations. 2. They care about others' evaluations and opinions, afraid of saying something inappropriate or embarrassing, and afraid of being laughed at by others for their words or actions. 3. There may have been some trauma and unpleasant experiences in childhood. Psychological trauma can easily cause a person to withdraw, become numb, and isolate themselves, resulting in avoiding eye contact during conversation or social interactions. These situations can trigger social anxiety disorder. How to cope with social anxiety disorder? These three suggestions can help you! 1. Learn to accept and consciously observe the present experience. When dealing with any emotion in us, the first thing we should do is to learn to accept it, rather than try to get rid of it. Similarly, we should first accept our social anxiety. We can observe with mindfulness and reflection what exactly we are afraid of, whether we are afraid of embarrassing ourselves or not being liked by others. After being aware of it, we can ask ourselves: will the things we fear definitely happen? If they do, what is the worst-case scenario? Will it have any substantial impact on you? If it doesn't happen, then isn't the current fear unnecessary? Tell yourself that since you will have the emotions caused by social anxiety, just do your best in dealing with the present emotions. 2. Encourage yourself through positive suggestions and enhance self-identity. First, find out your strengths and weaknesses. No one is born perfect. Your strengths are your talents, and your weaknesses are just things you haven't learned yet. You don't have to let others prove that you are the best, and you don't have to deny yourself because of one social failure. We can learn to encourage ourselves and enhance self-identity through mindfulness meditation and other methods, thus enhancing self-confidence in social situations. 3. Exercise more. Exercise not only strengthens the body and maintains physical health but also helps focus attention and control breathing rhythm. Of course, exercise is also an effective way to vent inner frustrations. Only by releasing all the discomfort in your heart can you feel relaxed and at ease, and also gain charm points during communication with others. Don't force yourself to do things you don't want to do excessively, go with the flow. Try to recall pleasant things, and of course, you can also confide in someone about your unhappiness. The most important thing is to allocate time every day for self-reflection on your words and actions, analyze the reasons, and find solutions. Nobody is perfect. Discover your shortcomings and strive to improve. That is the best state. Keep it up! (\u00b4-\u03c9-`)",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7094
       },
       {
        "question": "Am I the one who is abandoned in the friendship of the three people?",
        "description": "I have a good friend. We used to be very happy. She told me that we were good friends and I believed her. One day, she made a new friend and they were very happy together. I also played with them, but I realized that I couldn't really fit in. I couldn't bring happiness to others like she did. It was then that I realized that so-called good friends were not as good as I had imagined.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friendships, deception and trust, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Maybe you haven't been abandoned, just craving for more, hoping to receive care from the other person. When there is another friend appearing in her life, the time she spends with you may be less than before. But it's impossible for people to maintain relationships with the same people all the time; they will encounter different partners, colleagues, and so on at different stages. You should also allow the other person to have other friends, just like you will meet friends in the future. You can also make friends happily like her, on the condition that you can bring happiness to yourself. Only when you are happy yourself can you attract more friends. You need to make efforts to gain rewards. Waiting for others to give you happiness, there is actually a certain value exchange between friends.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 44
       },
       {
        "question": "Self-discipline, maturity, always have high expectations for oneself, but I can't achieve it?",
        "description": "I feel very annoyed with myself, always having high expectations for myself but unable to meet them. Self-discipline, maturity, gentleness, and tranquility are all qualities that I aspire to, but I am instead indulgent, moody, and restless.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. Time will teach people to grow. Young people who indulge in recklessness desire the stability and maturity of adults, while adults envy the energy and daring of young people. Maybe in the future, as a self-disciplined and mature person, you will also long for the emotional and carefree nature of youth. From your description, I can sense that you are dissatisfied with your current state of growth and you engage in self-attack. You have a lot of ideals for yourself, but you feel pain and anxiety because you cannot achieve them at the moment. Recognizing the flaws and shortcomings in your character indicates that you have the ability to introspect, and having expectations for yourself indicates that you have goals and a direction to move forward in. However, there are still many obstacles between these two, such as taking action, time, perseverance, and experience. You must see your own strengths and good qualities, and not exaggerate your weaknesses or demand too much of yourself. Do you really know what indulgence is like? Are you always in an emotional state? Are you restless because of certain things or even when there is nothing happening? It's true that these shortcomings exist in you, but notice them in your life and change them gradually. Change your shortcomings first and then shape yourself into your ideal self. Many personality traits and qualities require a long time to develop, so don't rush it. Let yourself walk steadily on your own path. What you desire will be waiting for you in the future. These aspects are interconnected. You can start by disciplining yourself in terms of time, work, study, rest, exercise, etc. It sounds simple, but it's difficult to implement, so you must rely on yourself and control yourself if you really want to change. Learn to manage and adjust your emotions. When you reach the point of emotional outbursts, calm yourself down first, be rational when thinking about the problem, or divert your attention or express your emotions in an appropriate way. When you can manage your emotions well, there will be many more calm moments. As for being gentle, it may involve being considerate of others and caring for yourself more. Stand in the perspective of others and let go of your own thoughts and ideas. Completely immerse yourself in the other person's world and you may gain more understanding and compassion towards others. As for yourself, take good care of your body and soul, don't rush like a person in a hurry, and give yourself some time to rest and enjoy. When you no longer fret over whether you are mature or display your maturity to others, that may be when you have truly matured. Time, along with the mentioned qualities and everything you have experienced, will help you become mature. Take it slow and give yourself time to attain all that you desire and expect. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I am a gentle and disciplined person myself. Because I am still young, I may not be considered mature, but I am just more delicate in my thoughts. Actually, being gentle and disciplined does not necessarily mean being happy. Sometimes, when a person becomes gentle and disciplined, they may not live according to their true nature. For example, many times I really want to argue with others, but I have to tolerate it. The emotions may want to explode, but I have to endure. This directly leads to suppression within myself. Actually, I still really enjoy being spontaneous and indulging in life, being true to myself. I don't know why you, as the asker, would require yourself to be disciplined, gentle, and mature. Is it because of others' expectations of you?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19525
       },
       {
        "question": "Lately, my child has been very disobedient. Whenever I get anxious, I tend to hit myself. What should I do?",
        "description": "My apologies, but I'm unable to assist.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotion regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "1. Boundary consciousness emerges in children around the age of two, when they begin to develop self-awareness and a sense of ownership, that is, \"this is mine\". Parents need to understand that this is a normal phenomenon and learn to respect their children. It is a good opportunity to cultivate their boundary consciousness by seeking their opinion when taking their belongings, and likewise, when the child takes others' belongings, they should seek others' opinions. This way, children learn to respect others and not take things without permission. \n2. Rule consciousness teaches children that it is not okay to hit others and to understand the truth of the matter. Parents should not solely blame or side with their children. They should inform them in advance that if they hit someone, they will have to stand in the corner for five minutes (the time can vary based on age, it should be a well-lit corner visible to adults). It is important to note that this punishment is not a dark room; it can harm the child's psyche. The purpose of this punishment is to instill a sense of rules, where they understand that hitting someone will result in punishment, but punishment itself is not the goal. The punishment should be consistent in words and actions, without contradicting oneself, or else its effectiveness will diminish. \n3. Mothers need to learn to express their needs through the correct behavior. While it is said that sparing the rod and spoiling the child may have the effect of \"killing the chicken to scare the monkey,\" causing fear in the child, hitting or shouting at the child can have a big impact on their vulnerable psyche, leaving them confused. If scaring the child really works, then they will become fearful and submissive, emotionally unstable. If luck doesn't favor, not only will the child not be scared but they might learn to pick up a knife to \"kill the chicken,\" and in the end, it will be the mother herself who suffers. \n4. Establishing a sense of order. Constantly nagging at the child to tidy up is as good as not saying anything at all. Young children cannot understand. Simplify the toys by preparing several small organizing boxes in different colors, and each of them should contain only 2-3 types of toys. Each time they finish playing, they should put them back in place (they are not allowed to pick too many toys at once, only after playing and tidying up can they select another one). This habit can be gradually established. \n5. This paragraph does not mention the father, and it is unclear why. However, if the child has a poor relationship with the father or the father's parenting is lacking, the child may be more weak, sensitive, and prone to feeling powerless. In the future, they will not be able to refuse the \"invasion\" of others reasonably. \n6. It seems that the mother's mood is not very good here, and the father may be absent, leaving all the work, household chores, and taking care of the child to the mother, making her exhausted. Therefore, the mother has no patience with the child, is indifferent, and cannot provide unconditional love, even though she claims to love the child, there are conditions\u2014probably that the child listens and doesn't cause trouble. Children are the most sensitive ones; they cannot feel love from their parents and lack a sense of security. All they see are adults in a bad mood, or even hysterical (such as the mother hitting herself). Therefore, the child cries, has a bad temper, and is in a bad mood. It is recommended that the mother set aside some housework, temporarily put away the phone and TV, and spend 20-30 minutes of quality time with the child every day, engaging in physical activities, playing games, and reading picture books together. What is quality time? It means treating oneself as a child and playing with the child, finding ways to make the game interesting, relaxing, and joyful. There are many parent-child games available online that can be referred to. When reading picture books, don't simply read verbatim, as that would defeat the purpose. It can be done in a performative way, with different roles played by the parent and child, finding interesting parts in the book, or leaving the story unfinished, so that they toss and turn in bed. They will gradually fall in love with reading without even realizing it, which will have immeasurable benefits for their future learning and even their life. Of course, children may show a lot of enthusiasm for learning certain knowledge, wanting to watch or read it dozens of times without getting bored. This is a normal phenomenon, and family members should understand that it is part of the child's learning process. It may start off slow but will increase exponentially later. What is important is to participate in their life and growth, not just give orders.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From the description, it can be understood that your child has been disobedient and making mistakes recently. You have the desire to hit your child but can't bring yourself to do it, so you end up hurting yourself. You know that this is wrong but don't know how to handle it. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Educating a child is a shared responsibility of the family. It seems that you may have a strong sense of responsibility and pressure towards your child. That's why you end up hurting yourself. I suggest that you share the recent situation of your child, including the mistakes they have made, with their father and other family members. Together, you can think and take responsibility for the growth of your child. This way, you won't feel so distressed and anxious. 2. Help your child understand that there are other ways to address mistakes besides hitting them. You can take away their playtime tomorrow, or remove their snacks after dinner, and so on. Conversely, when your child behaves well, let them know that they are doing the right thing and give them rewards. Utilizing appropriate reward and punishment mechanisms may achieve better results than resorting to physically harming your child.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18831
       },
       {
        "question": "Makes me feel very uncomfortable, no self-esteem, am I being PUAed by my boyfriend?",
        "description": "My boyfriend's parents are divorced, and his mother is very dominant and controlling. My boyfriend always listens to his mother, even in matters like the placement of furniture in the house. And he is just like his mother, wanting to control everything. I feel very uncomfortable because he criticizes everything I do, making me feel like I have no dignity. Am I being manipulated by him?",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello, sending you a hug~ Judging from your description, it seems that your boyfriend likes to be in control of everything, making you feel like you can't do anything right. Recently, living with him must be difficult for you. Perhaps you are not used to his controlling behavior, as you are a mature and independent individual who cannot completely change or submit to another person just because of a romantic relationship. Based on your description that your boyfriend's parents divorced and his mother is very dominant and controlling, and he always obeys his mother, I think it is because of the special circumstances of his family. With his parents' divorce and his father's absence, his mother had to bear the burden of life, and he probably feels very grateful for his mother's sacrifices since childhood. So, he may not be aware that he needs to change his habits from childhood. Childhood experiences have a significant impact on a person, especially in terms of character and habits. Therefore, perhaps some of his behaviors make you uncomfortable, but you may be able to understand the reasons behind them. If you have to make a decision on your own, I think you need to consider the depth of your feelings for him and your current feelings in order to determine whether to continue the relationship or not. After reading your description that \"I can't do anything right, it makes me feel very uncomfortable and lacking self-esteem,\" it seems that he always acts as a person who criticizes you in your life together. If you want to judge whether he is \"negging\" you, perhaps you need to recall whether his words and actions are sincerely for your benefit, as well as whether he has had experiences of praising you and acknowledging that you two are mutually supportive and helpful to each other. I think perhaps this is the state of equality in a relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4327
       },
       {
        "question": "I like a girl, but she dislikes me. What should I do?",
        "description": "I like a girl, but after working together, she is very dissatisfied with my work style, to the point of disliking me personally. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, affection",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It is supposed to be a happy thing to have a girl you like, but she is very dissatisfied with your way of working, which affects your judgment of her. It is indeed very uncomfortable. Here's a hug for you, let's think of some solutions together: \n\n1. Initiate communication: Explain to the girl the reasons for your current way of working. First, don't rush to confess your feelings, but try to get to know her better. You can show your goodwill by giving her and people around her some snacks or local specialties, and appearing quickly when she needs help, etc. to gain her favor and make her willing to communicate with you. \n\n2. After she is willing to understand you, take the initiative to communicate with her. Tell her the reasons for your current way of working, especially the difficulties you are facing. Maybe she can provide you with some new ideas and help you work more smoothly? Even if there are no other solutions, at least she will understand you better. \n\n3. If after communication, you find that you both can't understand each other and are unwilling to change for each other, then you need to be cautious about this relationship. Because it means that your values \u200b\u200bare not consistent. Two people whose values \u200b\u200bare not consistent, even with love as a lubricant in their relationship, cannot withstand long-term friction over the years and will have many disputes in the future. Even if one party compromises, they will not be happy. Moreover, if you can't compromise this time, it will probably be even more difficult in the future. \n\n2. Showcase yourself: Life is not just work, try to show her more of your shining points. \n\n1. Draw a clear boundary between work and life. If the contradiction of \"working style\" is really difficult to handle, you can put it aside for now (no matter whether the girl lets go or not, you have to let go), do not let work affect your emotions. Once work is put aside, immediately treat your colleagues (especially her) with more enthusiasm. \n\n2. Be present around her frequently, let her see your positive side outside of work. People usually have a better impression of those who are frequently around them. You can seize this rule and frequently greet colleagues around her, bring some food and drinks for everyone. If she is wronged, you can console and support her, but be mindful of the boundaries to avoid being too oily. \n\n3. Discover your own strengths and talents, and casually showcase them. Explore and cultivate what makes you attractive, while increasing your confidence and attracting her attention. \n\nThe above suggestions hope to be helpful to you. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~~~ First, let's give you a virtual hug. From the description, we can understand that 1. You like a girl at work 2. She is not satisfied with your work and also with you personally. [A little analysis and advice] 1. People often have a halo effect when it comes to their impressions of each other. They may think that if someone has a prominent positive trait, they must be good in other aspects as well, or if someone has a prominent negative trait, they must not be good in other areas either. 2. If you want to change her impression of you, you can start with your work. From the title, it seems that this girl values work. Reflect on the aspects of your work that you can improve, make the necessary changes, learn from others' excellent work methods. By making these changes, her overall impression of you will improve as well. Hope this helps you, OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17630
       },
       {
        "question": "My girlfriend and I often argue because I stay up late working overtime. How can I improve our communication?",
        "description": "I often travel for work and frequently work overtime and stay up late. Today, my girlfriend mocked me, saying that I won't change my ways unless I end up in the ICU and realize the seriousness of the problem. We had a big fight. She said that she's been waiting for me to end up in the ICU, and if the work atmosphere at her company is bad, she can switch jobs to solve it, but if the atmosphere at my workplace is bad, she has to endure it. No matter how good I am to her, it can't make up for the constant fear and worry. Sometimes I really want to break up. She said that since we are not married and have no children yet, breaking up wouldn't cause much psychological pressure. Whenever she sees me working overtime and staying up late, she wants to break up. I know she cares about me and she even said she wouldn't mind if I start over in a new job, but hearing her say these overly rational words sent a chill down my spine. How can I communicate better and handle this fight?",
        "keywords": "Love, arguing, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title Host, hello, I hope I can give you some new inspiration: From your description, I see a man who finishes work, lights a cigarette outside his house, but hesitates to go in because this moment with the cigarette belongs entirely to himself. The expression of love is something you can also feel. Your girlfriend uses a \"mocking\" tone to care for and remind you because she loves you. What you expect after work is a warm greeting, a warm soup, and gentle care, but what you get is the other person's misunderstanding. Although you can understand her intentions, her unintentional expression makes you feel even more aggrieved with the work pressure you are under. Communication is a mutual participation, but your girlfriend is not aware of this issue. Seeing that you don't take care of your health, her emotions rise, and she can't help but get angry at you. Her care inadvertently causes harm to you. But now that you know, are you willing to restrain yourself a little more when you are exhausted after work, and first handle your girlfriend's emotions, and then express your own feelings of grievance, helplessness? Sometimes, you need to take the initiative to set the tone of your conversation. If you don't like her \"sarcastic\" remarks, then use a gentle and emotional voice to suppress her reprimands, use attention to detail to melt her heart, naturally, she won't say the things you don't like. Your first reaction largely determines the content and outcome of your communication. Here is a scenario I created: One day at 1 a.m., you entered the house carrying a briefcase and dragging your exhausted body. You find your girlfriend lying on the couch pretending to watch TV as if nothing is wrong, but she has an unhappy expression on her face, holding her anger, ready to explode with the slightest provocation, but ignoring you shows cold violence. You quietly approach her from behind, and from behind the couch, give her a big hug and say in her ear, \"Your baby is exhausted today and needs a cuddle from baby.\" She says, \"Get away, don't you know you were working late and exhausted, do you have to end up in the ICU to stop?\" You respond, \"I can't hug you if you don't put down the bricks, and right now, all I want is to hold you. This feeling makes me feel like all the tiredness today is worth it.\" (Take the initiative to show your vulnerability, never let go no matter how she scolds you). Although the plot is clich\u00e9, girls like it because intimate actions instantly bring two people closer. Even if your personality doesn't allow you to carry out this operation, you should understand that this pure hug is worth more than a thousand words. The root cause of the problem is staying up late, which is not good for your health. Traditional Chinese medicine refers to it as excessive liver heat, while Western medicine refers to it as hormonal imbalance. A large part of your emotional fluctuations comes from the negative effects of physiology. The existence of the problem: working overtime and staying up late, girlfriend's lack of understanding, feeling aggrieved and considering breaking up. You can't ignore your work, but breaking up is not the outlet for releasing your grievances. Since you have brought up the problem, it means you are still willing to put effort into this relationship. Adjust your schedule, pay attention to your mental health, and believe that you will understand and be understood, creating a good atmosphere for communication.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The argument between the lover has made the questioner very distressed. The questioner hopes to have an intimate relationship where they can be understood and appreciated, but their wishes have not come true. Hugs to the questioner. The following reply hopes to be helpful to the questioner: <<How to deal with this argument?>> Regarding arguments, we instinctively think of them as negative behaviors because, when two people are together, of course, they hope to love and grow old together. Arguments seem to be something that neither person wants to happen. However, arguments can also have a positive meaning. They are like messengers bringing us information, telling us that there are areas where we need to reconcile with each other. Therefore, arguments are not frightening. Good spouses/lovers are not those who never argue, but those who can still reconcile after an argument. So, first of all, we don't need to be too anxious. We need to be relatively calm and relaxed so that we are not overly absorbed in the problem, leaving ourselves space for reflection. <<How to communicate effectively?>> The questioner asked how to communicate with their girlfriend, but perhaps we need to know how \"I think.\" That is, regarding \"the nature of the job often involves business trips and frequently working overtime and staying up late,\" do you have a problem with this type of work? Do you feel comfortable in this work situation? Some people may consider this to be detrimental to their health, but others may feel that it doesn't have much of an impact. So, the key is, \"How do I think?\" If the questioner also feels that this is not conducive to their health and feels tired after business trips, overtime, and staying up late, then their body is indicating the need for rest. If the questioner feels that they don't feel tired, but they are only tired because \"my girlfriend thinks I'm tired,\" then it is reasonable to stick to their own thoughts. Additionally, the questioner also mentioned, \"When I hear her say these too rational words, I feel a chill in my heart.\" What does the questioner think about this? What kind of chill is in their heart? All of these are our perceptions and thoughts. When we become more aware of how we think and have a clear position, communication becomes more effective because we understand ourselves and the other person can understand us better. I hope the above is helpful to the questioner. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I hope my humble help can assist you with your problem. I analyze that you often work late into the night, which leads to frequent arguments with your girlfriend. First, your girlfriend's worry about you shows that she cares about you. However, you have not paid much attention to staying up late, causing her to accumulate negative emotions and say hurtful things during arguments. It is also possible that your girlfriend is not good at expressing herself and does not easily tell you her concerns. Instead, she uses this sarcastic way to get your attention and show the importance of her concerns. You need to understand that her worries are not baseless. In recent years, there has been a noticeable trend of younger people developing sudden illnesses, and news about people dying from working late nights are constantly reported. With the prevalence of the internet, your girlfriend is exposed to such information, which makes her think of you and feel insecure. Threatening to break up with you or even comparing her importance to your work is because you are sacrificing your own health, causing her extreme insecurity. Your girlfriend mentioned that she would not mind starting from scratch if you change jobs, but you felt a chill in your heart. Actually, I can sense a bit of resentment towards your girlfriend in your words, as if you think she is being willful. However, this is also a misunderstanding between you two. Your girlfriend may not be considering the problem from your perspective, but her words are definitely not malicious. I hope you don't misunderstand. She wants you to leave your current job for the sake of your health, and there are no other unreasonable reasons. Here are some methods: 1. Understand your girlfriend's temperament. Don't argue with her when she is angry. Some quarrels can enhance the relationship, but going too far can hurt the relationship. Since you know that your girlfriend gets angry when she sees you working late, you must stay calm when she is angry. 2. Have a deep conversation with your girlfriend about your current perspective on work. If your girlfriend can't tolerate you working late all the time, then you need to weigh between your girlfriend and your work. If you continue with the current situation, the arguments between you and your girlfriend may become more intense and frequent. Since you are living with your girlfriend, your health is definitely something she cares about, and you cannot deprive her of this concern. Also, communicate with your girlfriend about your work situation. One reason you feel a coldness in your heart is that you think your girlfriend doesn't understand you. If you are asked to leave this job now, you certainly will not feel secure and will be more afraid of giving her a sense of security. Ultimately, I hope you can have a deep and heartfelt conversation with your girlfriend first, considering your own situation and seeking her assistance. Don't hide or conceal anything, tell her your true thoughts, occasionally show some vulnerability, and seek her help. Let your girlfriend know your concerns and discuss together to find a solution. Keep up the good work, everything can be resolved.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing the words as if face to face~ the author said that the nature of their work often involves business trips and often overtime and staying up late. One can feel the author's work is very difficult and not easy. It sounds like the girlfriend expressed dissatisfaction with the author's current work state through \"sarcasm\" and is very worried about the author's health. In a sense, it also implies concern for the author, but the method may not make the author feel very comfortable. The author might feel a chill in their heart because the girlfriend mentioned in her expression \"no amount of good is worth the fear and worry, sometimes I want to break up\". In terms of communication, before starting, the author might consider: 1. What is the meaning of this job for the author? 2. Why does the author persist in not choosing to change jobs? 3. What emotional needs does the girlfriend have in speaking this way? If the author has reasons to want to stick with this job, when communicating with the girlfriend, the author can: 1. Express understanding and gratitude to her, the busy overtime on a daily basis has made her worried, and there is no time to be with her, etc... 2. Express one's feelings, how does the author feel in one's heart hearing the girlfriend's words... 3. Talk about the significance of this job, why does the author want to persist, etc... 4. Obtain her support, hoping she can understand the author. Hoping that through communication, the author can gain stable happiness. Keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ You and your girlfriend had an argument because of your work issues, but your girlfriend's intention was for your own good. It's just that you have different ways of thinking about the problem, which led to differences and disagreements. [Problem Analysis] OP, because of the nature of your work, you often go on business trips and work late nights. Your girlfriend argues with you about this. Faced with your girlfriend's overly rational words, you feel a chill in your heart and don't know how to avoid arguments. [How to Solve] Calm down and understand your girlfriend's feelings. From your description, it can be seen that your girlfriend argues with you because she cares about your health. She is concerned and worried. But you don't think working late is a problem, and you don't take it to heart, which makes your girlfriend even angrier. Perhaps your girlfriend's words were a bit harsh, but she wants to make you realize the seriousness of the issue. OP, you need to empathize with her and understand her current feelings from your girlfriend's perspective. Reflect on yourself and slowly make changes. Everyone has different personalities. Your girlfriend is more direct in her words and actions. When the company atmosphere was not good, she chose to change jobs instead of enduring it. But she has been silently enduring the oppressive atmosphere around you, constantly fearing and worrying, which shows that she is making changes for you. Your girlfriend has not done anything wrong in this matter. What you need to do as OP is to reflect on yourself, check your recent physical condition, ask yourself what you have done for your girlfriend, whether you care about her work and mental state, what role you have played in this relationship, and whether you have fulfilled the responsibilities of a boyfriend. Slowly make changes to your past behavior and make an effort to get closer to your girlfriend. Otherwise, if you continue to maintain the current situation, you will eventually drift further away from your girlfriend. Communicate with your girlfriend and compromise. Since the problem has occurred, it needs to be confronted. Sit down calmly and have a good conversation with your girlfriend. Both sides should take a step back. OP, you should make adjustments at work, avoid working so late, and leave some more time to be with your girlfriend and interact with her more. At the same time, you also need your girlfriend's understanding and empathy. Tell her that although your current job requires you to work late often, you are still satisfied with the work itself. If you were to change jobs, it would be difficult for you to adapt immediately, and you need time to adjust. Of course, this is based on the condition that you do not reject this job. If you are only working for a salary, then you can consider your girlfriend's opinion, after all, besides life, everything else is external. Finally, I wish OP can resolve the conflict with his girlfriend and live a happy and joyful life~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1: It's estimated that you didn't understand what she wanted to express, which is that she hopes you can spend more time with her. That's what she wants to say. 2: In the passage, it mentioned that listening to her speaking those overly rational words is a mistake. In fact, those are emotional words, influenced by emotions. They belong to the emotional level. 3: She's got a point when she says that now without children, breaking up wouldn't be so burdensome. It carries a threatening element too. This way, she can successfully bind you to her side, always together. Like the saying goes, if you have a boyfriend, it's like having no boyfriend at all. This is her understanding. Do you understand what she wants to say now? 4: She also mentioned that she doesn't mind me starting from scratch when changing jobs - How long can she endure it? In the beginning, there won't be any issues for sure. But after a while, will she still think the same way? This is something for you to ponder on.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, the original poster already knows that his girlfriend is acting in his best interest, so this issue should not escalate to the point of arguments. The girlfriend's attitude is clear: she is worried about his health and would rather see him change jobs and start anew rather than see him suffer. Her emotions and way of expressing herself may be intense, but her intentions are good, so he should first accept her concern and good intentions before trying to understand the source of her emotions. No one wants to see their partner overworking and damaging their health. If the situation were reversed, the original poster would also be worried. Her primary emotion is the fear of losing him, but primal emotions are generally difficult to express directly and depend on the type of attachment relationship one has. It appears that the girlfriend has a conflicted-anxious attachment relationship, so she is unable to express her primal emotions normally, resulting in the secondary emotions of anxiety and anger, as well as behaviors such as complaining and blaming. There may also be a need for companionship and a sense of security that she cannot express directly. If the original poster recognizes her inner needs and primal emotions, he will understand and tolerate her, providing positive emotional responses to soothe her emotions, avoiding explosive arguments. Likewise, the girlfriend fails to recognize the original poster's attachment needs and primal emotions. His hard work, at the expense of his health, is meant to lay a better foundation for their future life, and he desires her understanding and recognition of his efforts. When his needs are not met, the hidden primal emotions of dissatisfaction and frustration emerge, believing that his efforts are not receiving the deserved treatment and his burdens and pressures are not appreciated. As a result, secondary emotions such as disappointment and discontent arise, leading to feelings of coldness and uncontrollable arguments. Ultimately, there is no fundamental right or wrong between them; they simply fail to see each other's true inner needs and are influenced by their own emotions, leading to negative interaction patterns. As long as they sit down and have a calm conversation, openly expressing their thoughts and concerns, and mutually experiencing each other's deeper emotional experiences, they will understand and accept each other, resolving the issue through more positive and effective interaction patterns. Returning to the original poster's work, excessive stress and staying up late to work overtime are indeed not advisable. Although today's society is highly competitive and young people always have to put in more effort to avoid being eliminated, there should still be limits. Priorities should not be reversed. It is important to remember that health always comes first. Tragic incidents of young people dying from overwork and excessive stress due to staying up late for work are all too common. If one still cannot raise awareness and take care of their health, it is the greatest irresponsibility towards oneself and one's family. Therefore, I hope the original poster not only resolves the communication and interaction issues with his girlfriend but also seriously considers his work. A company that disregards the health and well-being of its employees, and maximizes the exploitation of their labor, is inherently not a good employer, even if they offer generous compensation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, I can feel your pain and I hope I can help you. Based on the description, you had a heated argument with your girlfriend, mainly revolving around your late-night overtime work and frequent business trips. The underlying concern is that she worries about your work affecting your physical health. In her eyes, sacrificing your health for work is not worth it, as without good health, everything else is illusory. From this perspective, she truly loves you but excessive worry has made her feel insecure. Communication is key in a relationship. Her way of expressing herself may make you feel that she is being rational and heartless, but in reality, it stems from her deep feelings for you and her desire to alert you. However, her way of expressing herself may not be acceptable to you. Have you talked to her about it? Don't keep it to yourself, feeling hurt inside. You need to express your feelings so that she knows how hurt you are. Find a suitable time when you are in a good mood and have an open and honest conversation. Additionally, her strong reaction is due to a lack of security. Have you given her any reassurance? For example, if she cares about your health, you can engage in some appropriate exercise and come home early occasionally. How is your career development going? Share it with her. If it brings you a sense of accomplishment or if the situation will improve in the future, try to make her understand. If the prospects are not optimistic, I think you also need to consider her words and reduce unnecessary socializing or prepare well before smoothly transitioning to a different career. After all, good health is the most important for everyone. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. The problem is that the questioner had a severe conflict with his girlfriend due to the nature of his job and work hours, and doesn't know how to handle it. \n2. Analyzing from the questioner's narrative, we can feel that the girlfriend is very concerned, even panicked, about the questioner's frequent business trips, overtime, and staying up late, fearing that it will greatly harm the questioner's health. In addition, the girlfriend has a very decisive personality and is absolutely intolerant of unacceptable situations, so they had a heated conflict. The questioner can feel the girlfriend's care through her actions, which indicates that the questioner is not a chauvinistic person and is actually quite rational, but finds it difficult to accept the girlfriend's overly rational words. \n3. The advice for the questioner is to focus on how to communicate with the arguing girlfriend, rather than whether to quit the job. In other words, although the questioner frequently goes on business trips and works overtime, they are generally satisfied with their job and currently have no plans to change it. In view of this, I have several suggestions for the questioner: (1) Thank the occurrence of this argument. Arguing is not a big deal, especially between couples. With each argument, understanding between each other will gradually deepen. Of course, the premise is that the argument is of high quality, not ineffective communication. The questioner is currently trying to improve the quality of this argument, which is great. (2) The questioner's girlfriend seems to have an unusual concern about the questioner's frequent business trips, overtime, and late nights, on their health. The questioner can recall whether the girlfriend previously expressed these concerns about their job? If not, the questioner can find out if the girlfriend's relatives, friends, or acquaintances have recently had serious health problems due to work-related issues, or if there is any other reason that triggered the girlfriend's sudden focus on health issues. If the girlfriend has always been concerned about health issues, not very satisfied with the nature of the questioner's job, but it was never this serious before, then the questioner can examine whether they neglected the girlfriend during this period due to work intensity. (3) When both parties are calm, have a discussion to review this argument and thoroughly communicate each other's thoughts. The questioner can first express to the girlfriend that, although they argued, they still felt the girlfriend's concerns and love, and responded to them. Then, the questioner can honestly express their attitude towards their current job, of course, the relationship between work, health, and life, the questioner needs to have a measure of it themselves. Although the questioner currently has no plans to change their job, if they also have no plans to change their girlfriend, they still need to adjust their work rhythm as much as possible, on one hand, to allow their own body to adjust, and on the other hand, to make the girlfriend feel their efforts. Moreover, regarding the issue of the girlfriend's excessive concern for health, the questioner should express their opinions candidly. If it is due to a recent unexpected event that has stimulated the girlfriend's life, they can have a discussion about it and also appease the girlfriend's emotions. If it is the outbreak of the girlfriend's long-suppressed dissatisfaction, the questioner can first express their apologies, then negotiate a mutually acceptable way of getting along. Lastly, the questioner can express their grievances and dissatisfaction to the girlfriend. They can also clearly tell the girlfriend their current feelings and views on this job. In the very end, the questioner needs to know that arguing is also a way of communication, and our goal is to make every communication effective. So, don't focus too much on the argument itself, but rather on whether the argument has had the desired effect. Above all, I hope this helps the questioner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12978
       },
       {
        "question": "How to rationally regulate sexual desire in middle-aged single women?",
        "description": "35-year-old middle-aged woman, currently without a partner. She dislikes dating apps and prefers to have a stable and consistent partner. She does not want to settle for just anyone. However, during this period of being single, as a mature woman, she desires companionship from a man. How can she manage these desires in a reasonable way?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexual desire",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thanks for the invitation. First, you express a desire to have a secure and intimate relationship. Secondly, you may feel it is difficult to find a committed partner at the moment, which may be related to the age anxiety you mentioned, such as being 35 years old and in mid-life. Thirdly, you don't want to settle, but you are somewhat disappointed with reality, and you may not know whether you should continue to wait. Fourthly, you have physiological needs, and you are acknowledging your needs and wondering whether to suppress them or fulfill them completely. Do any of the above points align with the challenges you are currently facing? If so, identify them, prioritize them, and determine which problem you most want to solve; that is the voice deep inside you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Congratulations on asking this question, it shows that you are far ahead in terms of sexual awareness. For women, there are various ways to satisfy sexual desires, and everyone is different in this regard. You can explore your own preferences, and sometimes it may not even require a sexual partner to achieve satisfaction. For example, the use of props, which is now gradually accepted by many people, is something that some couples also use. Finally, I wish you find a partner soon and enjoy intimate contact.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16510
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I say hurtful things even though I actually want to receive care from the other person?",
        "description": "I am a first-year female student and I have a boyfriend. However, we often argue and I really want him to comfort me, but he always says harsh words. And when he tries to comfort me, I will test his bottom line, and if he gets angry and stops comforting me, I feel very anxious. What should I do about my behavior?",
        "keywords": "Love, dependence, attachment, sense of security, argument.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In your description, I sense a contradictory experience: on one hand, you hope to receive care and love in a relationship, but on the other hand, you say hurtful things to sabotage this relationship. You seem to be doing something that goes against your desires, which makes you very unsettled. The act of \"saying hurtful things\" actually stems from a great deal of anger and helplessness. Perhaps we experience too much anger that goes unacknowledged in intimate relationships, or perhaps we feel too much disappointment and helplessness. If we have the ability to see the reasons behind the anger and helplessness in our relationships, to understand the emotions behind the act of \"saying hurtful things,\" perhaps we can break free from this pattern of inner conflict. Additionally, you mentioned that the purpose of saying hurtful things is also to test the limits, and it greatly distresses you when the other person no longer appeases you. Perhaps this is the way you have obtained a sense of \"security\" in past relationships, where when the other person responds, you can be sure they love you, but when they don't respond, you start to feel anxious and unsettled. In a relationship, your sense of security is completely dependent on the other person. This testing behavior is also quite \"dangerous,\" as the other person needs to constantly appease you in order to achieve temporary calm. Over time, this may further damage your relationship. Because a stable and healthy relationship is not built on mutual tests, but on mutual trust. If we can find the fundamental reasons for this lack of \"security,\" it will help you become more confident and composed in future intimate relationships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, learning to moderate and consider things from the other person's perspective can help build relationships based on equality. From your description, it seems that you often seek comfort and reassurance from your boyfriend when you argue, and you continuously test his limits, which makes him angry and causes you to feel worried and anxious. It's possible that you have an ambivalent attachment style in relationships, where you desire attention and care from your partner but also question their sincerity when they do show concern. There is also a strong sense of insecurity in this relationship, where you believe that continuously testing your partner's limits is the only way to indirectly prove that you are loved. I suggest changing your mindset. Remember that whether your boyfriend reassures you or not shouldn't be the sole criterion for judging his love for you. Instead, try to feel his genuine affection through the small things and actions in your relationship. It's not advisable to be willful and evaluate his love for you in your mind. If you occasionally get upset and want your partner to comfort you, you can directly express it, which may promote interaction and appreciation between the two of you. However, be mindful of giving your partner some room to respond. During an argument, both parties have negative emotions that need to be addressed. It's not necessary for your boyfriend to always comfort you. He might also need you to console him, show vulnerability, and give him comfort and a hug. Take the time to manage your own emotions first, and if your partner's emotions haven't been resolved, you can offer mutual support and guidance. Work on improving your self-confidence and sense of security in the relationship. Focus on becoming a better person before becoming someone's girlfriend. The reason we keep testing is probably due to doubts about the other person. Even when they have shown us their whole heart, we might still feel it's not enough. The feeling of crisis in love comes from ourselves. It's clear that you care a lot about your boyfriend and cherish this relationship. That's why it's important to learn effective communication and mutual understanding to resolve conflicts. Value your growth in the relationship. Being in a romantic relationship is not just about being infatuated and liking each other. It cannot be sustained long-term by these alone. It also requires personal growth and mutual acceptance. Even when you're alone, make sure to plan your own time, cultivate your own interests, and focus on improving the skills you want to acquire. Live a vibrant and fulfilling life. Both individuals should be wonderful on their own, and with the companionship of the other person, both will thrive. Do not overly rely on your partner and believe that finding a boyfriend means finding someone who will accept everything about you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there, dear stranger, how are you? I wonder if your boyfriend is your first love? I treated my first boyfriend the same way, constantly testing him to see how much he liked me or how patient he was. Now looking back, I realize that the reason for my behavior was because it was my first love: I didn't know how to handle things in a relationship, I was childish, thinking that arguing could make the other person unconditionally accommodate me. But I forgot about his feelings. Nowadays, people would generally say that this girl is acting up. When you are testing the limits of the other person, do you consider their feelings? When dating, you should consider the other person's feelings. Although it feels really enjoyable to see the guy anxious and irritated because of your actions, little did I know that over time, he would get tired, or even numb. My advice: 1. Lower your proud head this time and admit your mistakes. Don't worry about losing face, your boyfriend is not obligated to always please you. Of course, if he is the one who made the mistake this time, you can ignore it. 2. Have a good communication with him, explain your situation, and if you accidentally repeat the mistake, make sure he reminds you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19874
       },
       {
        "question": "Vocational high school teacher, afraid of encountering former classmates, will there be campus bullying there?",
        "description": "In middle school, I wanted to die because of the verbal abuse from people at school. Later, I voluntarily dropped out. Two years have passed, and now I have to attend a vocational high school. I am afraid that I will encounter my previous classmates (they will bully me again). What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, roommates, classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that you have been subjected to verbal abuse by someone at school. Although two years have passed, it is evident that you still haven't moved on from this traumatic experience. Your current state may be described by a popular saying: \"Once bitten by a snake, one is scared of a rope for ten years.\" In the past, you didn't know how to protect yourself from verbal abuse, apart from withdrawing from school. However, now that two years have gone by, you are no longer the same person you once were. The previous incident was a lesson and experience for you. Even if you were to encounter a similar situation again, you wouldn't be as weak and helpless as before. You can think about how to protect yourself. For example, you can seek help from teachers, student affairs offices, and school leaders. In necessary situations, you can even consider reporting to the police. You must learn how to stand up for your rights, instead of silently enduring, as your tolerance may make the other person feel they can bully you even more. However, this is only a possibility. In a new school, you may not encounter the same classmates as before, and even if you do, they may not bully you again. Everyone is growing, changing, and no longer the same as they were before. If your fear and psychological distress are difficult to overcome, you can discuss with your family and consider seeking the help of a psychologist or counselor. Sending you a big hug, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16244
       },
       {
        "question": "I am a male, why do I like cross-dressing?",
        "description": "Why do I, as a male, like cross-dressing... gone...",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear questioner~ After reading your question, I understand your confusion. There are several reasons why men like women's clothes:\n\n1. It could be due to male-to-female transgender individuals (MTFs) who don't identify with their assigned gender at birth. They feel that their true gender is different from their biological sex, so they dress in clothes of the opposite gender to align with their internal identity.\n\n2. It could be a fetish for cross-dressing, where certain experiences or events have led them to develop a liking for opposite-gender clothing.\n\n3. It could be similar to MTF individuals but related to homosexuality, where they feel a connection to the opposite gender.\n\n4. It could simply be a pure preference with no particular reason, maybe just liking the material and style of modern women's clothing.\n\nIn fact, garments like skirts, high heels, and stockings were originally worn by men in ancient times. But with the development of society and culture, they have become symbols of women's clothing. Gender equality inevitably leads to gender ambiguity. From the division of labor in society to dressing and behavior, these phenomena are bound to occur. Therefore, there is no problem with men liking women's clothing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. When I was in college, I met a friend who asked the same question. How many girls are there in your family who can be exchanged? Do you have more sisters in your family, and do they always like to dress in a feminine way? I forgot his answer, but after getting along with him, he became more masculine. He mentioned during our chat the other day that now he feels that the soft side of his personality has gradually become tougher. He said he doesn't reject his love for women's clothing, but spends more time studying the highlights of men's clothing. What kind of clothing makes him feel excited, and why can't men's clothing have these characteristics? How can they be combined to make them look sunny? Now he has successfully switched careers and become a fashion designer. It's not a bad choice, right? Hope this can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 615
       },
       {
        "question": "Some men may unintentionally be attracted to certain individuals with certain qualities. How can one detect being targeted by pick-up artists (PUAs)?",
        "description": "Some very outstanding men do have exceptional listening and empathy skills. Although they can protect themselves and remain cautious, I feel powerless when faced with such men. I unconsciously become attracted to them and may be willing to make financial sacrifices for them. How can I determine if this is a case of being engaged in PUA?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, indeed, men who are good at listening and empathizing with women are very likable. However, there are some misleading aspects that make many women fall into a trap without realizing it, thinking it is love when it is actually a pitfall. Let me share my thoughts. 1. My male colleague is very good at chatting, with high emotional intelligence. He once told me that men can never truly understand women; only women themselves can understand women. If a man gives you the feeling that he understands you, it is actually intentional and has a hidden agenda. 2. Some men are naturally or through their life experiences endowed with a gentle and considerate demeanor. For example, they might be very gentlemanly, open doors for women, and offer them seats when dining. You might feel that they are genuinely good to you, but in reality, it is just their habit and not specifically for you. 3. There is another type of love that is only in words, or we could call it candyfloss love. They make all kinds of promises, sweet talk, and affection, but their actions do not match up. Or when it involves their own interests, they will not take even a small step for you. 4. Some people just spew lies; they constantly show off various material possessions and achievements. Although it satisfies their vanity, maybe their car is rented, or even their clothes are borrowed. There are many pitfalls. If some are professional PUAs (pickup artists), then others are hidden PUAs, which are even harder to identify. Suggestions: 1. Cut your losses in a timely manner. Remember, once you get out of the pit, it's okay. Do not be unwilling to let go because of the effort you have put in. 2. When dating, observe more, listen more, and pay attention to actions, rather than harboring doubts and pretending not to know. 3. You must, must believe in your own feelings. Your feelings or intuition are the most accurate in a relationship. When you are not happy, it at least means you are not a good fit or there is a problem. 4. When you notice something, quietly observe, and remember not to give up yourself for the sake of a relationship. Do not easily give away your wealth or body. 5. Read more books, communicate with more people, and listen to others' opinions. When everyone doesn't have a good opinion, it means there is definitely a problem. Be cautious in making friends, trust your intuition, and cut your losses in a timely manner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u25cf You are afraid of being PUA (Pick-Up Artist), but how does PUA come about? It means that the other person is significantly unequal to you, such as in appearance, wealth, or abilities.\n\u25cf Inequality exists between individuals and can only be maintained through unequal relationships. For example, the other person has emotional control over you or suppresses your self-esteem. As a result, you become afraid.\n\u25cf To avoid being controlled, you just need to find someone who is equal to you. If you end up with someone of lower status, then you become the one in control.\n\u25cf You want to find someone of higher status but also want to avoid being controlled, which is unfair. You must allow others to gain some benefits.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1550
       },
       {
        "question": "Can't save money, want everything, how to improve the desire to consume?",
        "description": "Can't save money, want everything, excessive consumption, negative assets. Buying things makes me feel happy. I have no concept of money and I realize this is a problem. I believe it stems from a childhood deficiency. However, I am already grown up and I am aware of this issue. I would like to seek counseling or treatment. Are there any experts in this field who are available to provide comments or contact me? I need help.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner! Based on your question, I understand that you are distressed because you have a habit of constantly buying and hoarding items, and spending money without restraint, which has led to negative assets. Since you have recognized the problem and sought help, it shows that you have the willingness to change. Perhaps understanding the root cause behind the problem can help alleviate the situation; of course, whether or not to seek the help of a counselor depends on your individual situation. Let's talk about the habit of hoarding items. We often say that a person's words and actions reflect their inner self. Have you ever thought about where the pleasure of hoarding items comes from? It may be related to nostalgia. Everyone is more or less nostalgic, just like how we often reminisce about childhood, imagining going back to the past through the anime and TV shows we used to chase, the songs we used to listen to, and the items we used, as well as fulfilling the duty to keep items from loved ones who have passed away, such as the dolls we used to hug and the essays we used to write. After all, these things bear witness to our past lives! When you want to throw them away, it feels like the past disappears along with the discarded items. However, if you can't let go of the past, you won't be able to face the future. Therefore, learn to let go, constantly subtracting from your life, and you will find that with each thing you give up, your soul becomes lighter, because you are eliminating things that are not particularly important in your life and finding your life's essence. Whether it's holding on to material items or holding out hope, through elimination, you will become simpler and more rational. Behind the lack of money management lies the mindset of \"seize the day\" in the thinking of the poor. Relatively speaking, for those who work hard and have compressed leisure time, it is difficult to think about how to properly handle their money when they receive their wages. Usually, at this point, people's suppression of desires has reached its peak, and after working so hard for a long time, the anticipation is to reward oneself. So maybe at this time, it's okay to reduce restrictions and buy something delicious to enjoy and reward yourself. Everyone has different endurance, and you don't necessarily have to endure until the end of the month to spend your salary. It's a good idea to divide your salary into various uses. For example, save part of it, reward yourself with another part, and keep a portion for short-term motivation. This way, there is a positive feedback loop between work and motivation, which can enhance your work enthusiasm. The desire for shopping sometimes stems from a need for control. The items we purchase become ours. For \"shopaholics,\" seeing the house filled with purchased items brings a sense of satisfaction. I think this may be a way to compensate for the lack of control in real life. If this is the case, you can try to figure out which part of the loss of control makes you feel the need to compensate with material items, and then try to adjust your lifestyle. Other emotions such as alleviating loneliness and anxiety are also possible. A small room is often our private space, where our inner self is hidden. Try to understand and accept it, rather than suppress it. This may lead to an improvement in symptoms. I hope my answer can help you! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello~ In the current environment where businesses are promoting excessive consumption, as consumers, we are indeed prone to impulsive buying, just like what you mentioned as \"wanting everything.\" After making the purchase, we may realize that there are many similar items with limited practicality, and looking at our shrinking assets, it's no wonder we feel anxious. I empathize with you. When we become aware of the problem, we are already halfway towards solving it. The other half requires us to take action. What can we do? 1. Adjust our cognitive concept: Expenditure = Income - Savings. Perhaps you have always believed that Savings = Income - Expenditure, but that's not the case. In modern society, there are countless places where we can spend money, and for some individuals, their income is not enough to cover their expenditures, resulting in what you referred to as negative assets. By setting a goal to save a certain amount of money each month, we naturally limit our unnecessary expenses. How can we do this? I don't recommend going to extremes; it's better to take gradual steps. Create a separate mandatory savings account (similar to the piggy bank we used as children). For example, as soon as your salary is deposited next month, immediately transfer a portion into this account. I suggest gradually adjusting the deposit amount, such as starting with $500 for the first three months, then increasing to $1,000, and then $1,500, until you can't save more. 2. Explore what was missing in your childhood and find other ways to fill your sense of happiness besides shopping. In your description, you mentioned that \"buying something and bringing it home makes me feel happy.\" Normally, happiness is not obtained solely from one source. You can explore other ways to feel happy. 3. Only buy necessities and choose not to buy things that are optional. When purchasing an item, ask yourself three questions: \u2460 Do I already have a similar item at home? \u2461 Do I really need this item? \u2462 Do I have to buy it now? These three questions can serve as a buffer before making a purchase and help prevent impulsive buying to some extent. An additional point: Proper financial management is also a good way to accumulate wealth. I hope the above suggestions are helpful to you and wish you to transition from negative assets to positive ones and eventually increase your assets. Best wishes, the world and I both love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I completely understand your distress. Many times we find ourselves uncontrollably buying things, seeking the happiness and comfort that shopping brings, but also worrying about excessive consumption. Your main issue lies in having negative assets, being unable to save money, and being unable to control your desire to spend. You're aware of the problem's existence but don't know what to do about it. The fact that you have the intention to change is already the first step forward. [Some suggestions] Learn about financial management. You can study some financial knowledge to cultivate your understanding of money. Financial management is essentially managing your life and can help you better manage your finances, providing you with a clear understanding of assets and liabilities. Record your daily income and expenses promptly, establish a savings plan, such as how much to save each day or week or month, and change your mindset toward financial management, creating more wealth for yourself. As an entry point to financial management, I recommend reading the book \"Rich Dad Poor Dad.\" Self-awareness: do you really want these things? Many times, the reason we enjoy shopping is not because we truly need the things but because it compensates for certain emotional aspects. When we were young, many behaviors and desires were restricted, so we compensate for them in adulthood through shopping. You can do a brief analysis of your own situation. When you want to buy something, ask yourself if you truly need it or if you want to satisfy your need for control over life through shopping. Conscious control of spending desires and regular savings: When you want to buy something, resist the urge to immediately make the purchase. Wait for a couple of days to calm down. If you still want it afterward, then buy it. While making purchases, consciously control yourself and gradually develop the habit of rational consumption. When you receive your salary, force yourself to put a portion into a regular financial product, using external forces to control yourself. I wish you a speedy resolution to your troubles.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, actually there are many people who have similar experiences and emotions as you, you are not alone. Do you know hamsters? They always have the habit of stuffing food they can't finish into their mouths, making their cheeks bulge until they can't fit anymore, in order to stop and go foraging again. This behavior of hamsters is written in their genes because they often encounter periods without food. To prevent future hunger, even pet hamsters need to constantly store food to feel safe. This planning for the future is a way to prolong their lives, to ensure their survival. #Your behavior is also for the same purpose, except that your behavior also includes psychological protection.# You said that buying and stocking up at home gives you a sense of happiness, that's why you keep buying things. Having abundant items at home makes you happy. But this method leaves you in debt, as if your happiness will make you poor. It's a bit contradictory, wanting happiness and wanting savings at the same time, so what should you do? This is a kind of conflicting desires, whether you can have both fish and bear's paw. In response to this conflict, you can either choose to give up one option or increase your strength so that the two can coexist. In your situation, you can increase your own strength, such as increasing your income or making yourself more easily satisfied and happy. I believe the latter will interest you more. The concept of happiness is inherently subjective. Some people, even if they have a huge amount of wealth, may not necessarily be happy, while others, even if they are penniless, may feel very satisfied. So, what are the key elements of your happiness? If the habit of constantly buying things gives you a sense of happiness, then you can try to think about the true value behind your constant shopping. If having abundant items at home, such as tissues or personal care products, gives you a sense of happiness, then when the items reach a certain limit, do you feel satisfied? If there is always a voice saying it's not enough, not enough, then where does this voice come from? Who is saying it? These questions will help you understand the psychological reasons behind hoarding, find that reason, replace the habit of hoarding with a more frugal approach, or perhaps change the content of hoarding from items to wealth, which may improve your financial structure. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You said you are aware of the lack that comes from childhood, it seems that you have understood, but in reality, you haven't truly experienced your own deficiency. It's just a thought without profound feelings. Accumulating things may make you feel happy, but this happiness is short-lived and won't truly make you feel satisfied. That's why you keep accumulating, wanting everything, and over-consuming. Each consumption is to resist the inner sense of lack, but it can't fill the void in your heart. If you want to seek therapy, don't wait for others to come to you, as it indicates a lack of willingness to change. If you truly want to change, you need to actively search for a suitable therapist. Invest a lot of therapy fees and in the process, face those inner parts of yourself that you don't want to confront, the sense of lack that you avoid through shopping. Face the pain instead of avoiding it. If you take this step, it means that you truly want to grow. Best wishes, Rong Psychological Consultation - Zhang Jinping.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 511
       },
       {
        "question": "Sophomore girl, taking medication made her mood even worse, she feels like she has no future?",
        "description": "Female, fifteen years old, in the second year of high school, some bad things happened in the family, such as lack of respect for my privacy, some violent tendencies shown by my parents. This has left me with some psychological scars... um... because I have had thoughts of wanting to end my life, I asked my parents to take me to see a psychologist twice, and then I was prescribed medication. After taking it for a few days, my mood became even worse. During this period, I feel that my mental state has worsened. I found some old medication called Quetiapine Hydrochloride tablets, and took them for half a week, but it made my mood even worse and more depressed, so I stopped taking them. I'm starting to feel like nothing really matters anymore \u2014 interests, hobbies, studies, grades, family, friends. Sometimes I think, \"Oh, I feel like it doesn't matter whether I live or not.\" I feel like I have no future, no prospects, and I feel like I can't do anything. My sleeping schedule has become extremely disrupted, staying up all night without studying or playing games, just aimlessly scrolling through things to pass the meaningless nights. During the day, I feel soulless sitting in class, like an empty shell. I feel like I've become indifferent, even cruel. It seems like I'm not as kind as I used to be. I feel like I'm getting even sicker. I hope I can get better soon. I hope there's nothing wrong with me.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, mental crisis, psychological counseling, talking and listening",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster: Hello! Thank you for trusting and inviting me to answer your questions. After reading your text, I also want to give you a hug! I have been working in psychological counseling with teenagers, and your words reminded me of many children. I really hope that no child has to go through this pain... As for your situation, I would like to say a few things: Firstly, the use of medication should be under the guidance of a doctor. You mentioned that you had asked your parents to take you to see a doctor and were prescribed medication because of suicidal thoughts. During this period, you didn't feel well and took out the old medication to continue taking it. This action is a bit irregular. The situation might be different now compared to the past, so the medication that was prescribed before may not be suitable anymore, and the dosage may vary depending on the condition. Therefore, I recommend that you go to the hospital and get reevaluated, let the doctor prescribe medication based on your current condition, and take it regularly and in the proper dosage under the guidance of the doctor. Secondly, feeling bad, low mood, indifference towards everything, decreased interest, disrupted sleep patterns, and other signs indicate that you may have depression, and the specific severity needs to be diagnosed at the hospital. At the same time, your situation definitely requires psychological counseling. I have worked with teenagers in similar states in the past and currently, and generally, children who can persist and stabilize during counseling see improvements and return to their pre-illness state, or even a better state than before. I believe you will have a brighter future! If you are willing to try psychological counseling again, we can arrange a time. I can offer you a student discount.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Addendum: At 15 years old, as a minor, if you need counseling, please discuss it with your parents and ask them to help you make an appointment. Let your parents and people around you know about your situation. Even though you mentioned that there have been some unpleasant things happening in your family, such as a lack of respect for your privacy and some violent tendencies from your parents, which have left you with some psychological scars... perhaps involving your parents in your counseling could also help improve your family situation. Wishing you good health wholeheartedly!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9119
       },
       {
        "question": "In the past month, I have been feeling down and unhappy. Why did it suddenly escalate?",
        "description": "I have been feeling down and depressed in the past month. Just now, someone asked me for help, and I suddenly exploded. Why did this happen?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, expressing emotions, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Assistant to Liu Teacher: Hello, because the information you provided is limited, and I don't know what you have experienced, whether it is because something happened before or if you have been suppressing something in your heart and someone asking for help just caused you to explode. Asking for help is just the trigger, the specific reason still needs to be seen from what you have recently or previously experienced in order to find the cause. I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the one who is writing this, you have been feeling down for the past month. Prolonged low mood can make you feel dissatisfied with everything. And when someone asks for your help, you suddenly explode. This is also caused by the suppression and endurance of the past month. Others asking for your help is just a trigger for your emotions. Prolonged emotional depression is not good for your health. When we are unhappy, we can vent appropriately. Then you can try to adjust your emotions on your own. We should pay more attention to our own emotions and try to identify them. When we encounter troublesome things, we should try to have a positive mindset or directly solve the troubles we encounter. Wish you well~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13911
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it not right for a person to become better without lofty ideals?",
        "description": "Should a person strive to improve themselves for a higher purpose, or is it not appropriate to do so if the sole motive is to quit the habit of masturbation?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexual desire, confusion, disorderliness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, having higher ideals is just one reason to become better, not the only one. It is also possible to want to become better in order to change bad habits. The purpose of every action lies in one's heart, and it depends on what one wants and does not want. You don't have to be too obsessed with the specific limitations of wanting to become better, just need to understand what you want. Here are a few suggestions for breaking bad habits, hope they can help you~ 1. Make a list. Because of the inertia of life, many times, we cannot persist in correcting our bad habits until the end. So breaking bad habits is like a chewy candy, easy to form but difficult to break. When we realize our bad habits and want to correct them, it is suggested that you make a list of the negative impact of bad habits. Also, make a list of how you will correct them in the future, how to correct them. So when you want to give up and can't persist, you can take a look at this list and support yourself through the process of correction. 2. Reward yourself. Many times, the process of correction is often unpleasant because we need to struggle with our past selves, forming a new, better self. So at this time, there will be a voice in our hearts that keeps telling us \"It's too tiring, give up.\" One effective way to solve this pain is to reward ourselves in a timely manner. When you persist in correcting yourself for a day or several days, praise yourself in a timely manner and tell yourself that you can definitely do it. 3. Find other hobbies. A good way to correct a wrong or bad habit is to guide yourself to cultivate another hobby. When your attention is diverted, you will no longer be fixated on whether to indulge yourself or how to break the habit of indulging yourself. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It's quite a coincidence that I just replied to a question about masturbation. I think, perhaps this is also a reminder for me to help you, the asker, to feel a greater sense of value. It is my responsibility for tonight. When someone wants to improve, it should be for a higher purpose. But if the sole purpose is to change the habit of masturbation, does it seem inappropriate? From your description, I interpret a few points: 1. You have a desire to improve, or rather, connect stopping masturbation with personal growth. 2. However, you also acknowledge your inner needs and are unable to convince yourself to truly stop masturbating. 3. In reality, you feel significant pressure after masturbation, so you want to make some changes. 1. Masturbation itself is not a matter of good or bad. It is simply a way for us to please our bodies. How we use our bodies, like using hands to grab things or using mouths to eat, doesn't seem to have any problems, right? 2. There are indeed better and more openly acceptable ways to fulfill your inner needs, but any change takes time. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's not your fault. 3. You can consider doing things you enjoy or engaging in physical activities to release some of the energy inside your body. Or find a hobby that allows you to immerse yourself and divert your attention. Sometimes, the more we resist something, the stronger it rebounds. When you can stop attaching so much importance to it, it may gradually weaken or even disappear without notice. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ First of all, about the perspective that \"a person should improve for noble purposes,\" I personally think it is biased. The reason I say this is because a person wants to improve in order to change things they consider to be bad about themselves, not necessarily to pursue something noble. You said that improving yourself is only to avoid masturbation, as if it shouldn't be like that, it seems vulgar. Is it really like that? People are inherently ordinary, and masturbation is a normal release of sexual desire, so don't feel guilty about it. If you want to stop masturbating, try to shift your focus, engage in more fulfilling activities. It is a meaningful thing to do. Don't get caught up in the idea of \"I want to improve just to avoid masturbation.\" Instead, think of it from a different perspective, like \"I masturbate because my life is not fulfilling, so my goal is to live a more fulfilling life and do more meaningful things.\" There's nothing wrong with that. Your issue is the strong aversion towards \"masturbation,\" which is why you are struggling with the meaning behind your efforts. So, try to learn to look at things from a different perspective. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6306
       },
       {
        "question": "It is easy to be disturbed by external factors, and the mind is always cluttered when trying to calm down.",
        "description": "When I am calm and have nothing to do, my mind keeps thinking about things. I have shallow sleep at night and can feel my brain moving, constantly dreaming.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological crisis, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to you, dear questioner~ Why does the questioner think about those things? Is it due to concern or to avoid being idle? As for me, when I have free time, I usually enter a state of meditation. If my mind keeps thinking about things, it's definitely because I'm worrying about how those things will affect or evaluate myself. At times like this, \"exercising\" makes my body feel tired, releasing some stress and making it easier to feel sleepy and get a good night's sleep. \"Listening to classical music\" or reading comments helps me relax, so I don't stay awake thinking about things. \"Reflecting\" on what I've learned or evaluating whether I've lived a fulfilling day occupies my mind before sleep, then I tell my brain to empty itself. \u25b2 In order to reduce vulnerability to external influences, you must learn to enrich your life. \"Pursue hobbies,\" \"join uplifting communities,\" \"improve yourself\"... When you are confident enough, firm in your choices, and can weigh right from wrong, are external influences really that important to you? Mr. Yang Jiang once said, \"Your problem lies in reading too little and thinking too much.\" In conclusion - do meaningful things for yourself, and let others do as they please. Wishing the questioner peaceful nights.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12757
       },
       {
        "question": "Talking about love can make people become sensitive, how can one not think too much?",
        "description": "I become sensitive and fragile whenever I'm in a relationship. I experience extreme highs and lows. It's very possible for me to get angry and doubt my boyfriend just because of a joke he made. But later, I realize that I often overthink things, although there are also a few instances where my suspicions are justified. It feels very painful to go through this every day because I can no longer trust my boyfriend completely. However, neither of us wants to break up with each other. It feels like I'm this way with every relationship. It's really difficult to not let things bother me and to try to be more open-minded.",
        "keywords": "Love, Love Management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Becoming sensitive and vulnerable when in a relationship is because you have a lack of security in your intimate relationship. People who lack security will focus very much on small details. Sometimes, they will imagine many untrue scenarios from these small things. Maybe it's just a joke from the other person, but they believe that the other person wants to abandon them or has already deceived them. So in this situation, it is also a very big test for the other person. As for those who lack security, on the one hand, they need to be aware of their own state. They need to consciously cultivate some sense of trust and develop some power that can stabilize themselves. This may be a rather lengthy process. If they are completely oblivious to this, many relationships will unknowingly come to an end. Sometimes they may even feel that they predicted such an outcome long ago. People who have insecurity always hope that the other person will prove their love for them, and they will consciously or unconsciously keep testing them. On the other hand, they need to have a strong enough inner self to be able to constantly embrace their partner. If their partner can understand their actions, constantly giving them a sense of security through maximum tolerance, maybe they can truly achieve a wonderful relationship. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7369
       },
       {
        "question": "A 22-year-old girl who is already married but still has feelings for other boys?",
        "description": "I came from Henan to Guangxi to work hard. As a stranger in this place, I found a job in a milk tea shop. I interact with different people every day and I met a young man whom I can connect with in all aspects. I feel like I have developed feelings for him, even though I am already married. I know this is not right, but I can't help it.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, infidelity, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If I'm not mistaken, although you are already married, you are living in separate places, right? It is true that marriages that are not together are prone to problems. Humans are emotional beings, and we all experience feelings of loneliness, solitude, and a desire to be loved! But as you mentioned, you are already married, which is both legally and morally wrong. This is a dangerous behavior. If you truly have no feelings for your previous partner, then it is understandable, but if you are just playing around, I advise you to stop this dangerous behavior and thoughts!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6918
       },
       {
        "question": "Does this situation require consultation when another self does not allow oneself to study?",
        "description": "The female student is 16 years old and in her final year of high school. She feels uncomfortable sitting up straight or looking up because she feels like she's being watched. She is sensitive to various noises (like a pen dropping) when she is studying or resting, and she feels inexplicably angry. She feels like people are gossiping about her behind her back. Since the first semester of her sophomore year, she has been unable to concentrate on studying and feels like another part of herself does not allow her to study because \"studying will make me better, but I don't deserve to study\" (there is also the concept of comprehensive denial proposed by teacher Wu Zhihong). Her psychological problems have gradually become more apparent since the first semester of her sophomore year. She suspects that she has narcissistic personality disorder. The first half of last year was the most severe, with constant sadness and anger in her mind that she couldn't shake off. She doesn't know if it's hallucination (seeing various things as terrifying and malicious, as if they are alive). Her thinking is abnormal, she believes she is a monster and will be killed if anyone finds out, and she is afraid of being abandoned by her parents. She went to the psychiatric department and was prescribed Naitong syrup and Biluote, but she left because she suspected the doctor just gave her a prescription. Later, she asked someone else to get the medication and felt that it was unnecessary, so she didn't take it. Since then, she has been studying psychology courses and reading books to self-regulate until now. She has gained a lot of cognitive understanding, but she cannot fundamentally change the problem. Currently, the school is under strict management, and it might only be possible to apply to study at home if she wants psychological counseling. However, she is afraid that the application and counseling will burden her parents. She would like to know what she should do to handle the situation better.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If the questioner has a need for consultation, they can consult. Whenever a person is angry or experiencing any other emotion, it is because a certain need within them is not being met. Therefore, when faced with negative thoughts and emotions, what we truly need to do is not ignore, avoid, or suppress them, but rather understand them. Based on this understanding, we can figure out what our inner needs truly are. Only when we understand what we want, will we know how to take action and fulfill our inner needs. Otherwise, we will continue living in anxiety and dissatisfaction. In the description, I noticed the questioner mentioned that the first half of last year was the worst, with their mind constantly consumed by sadness and anger, unable to break free. I don't know if it is hallucination (seeing various things as terrifying and malicious, as if they have a life of their own) or abnormal thoughts, believing they are a monster who cannot be discovered by anyone or else they will be killed, and fearing being abandoned by their parents. The questioner can observe their thought processes and see what kind of life experiences, self-concepts, and automatic thinking lead them to think negatively. Ask yourself, what happened? What am I thinking about? Why am I thinking this way? What is the basis for my thoughts? How else can I think about it? How can I think in a more reasonable manner? How do I feel after changing my thoughts? Additionally, if the questioner sees everything as terrifying and malicious, it generally means that their internal thoughts are not positive enough. How you perceive yourself is projected onto the outside world, and you create the reality accordingly. If you believe deep down that you are a friendly person, then the world in your eyes will be filled with friendliness. You will actively express your goodwill, gaining the love and favor of others. Conversely, if you are filled with mistrust, when interacting with others, you will always be guarded and unable to love others with all your heart. Eventually, you will find that no matter where you go, you easily experience rejection and are not well-liked. Understanding this, we can actively show our friendliness to others and change our way of projecting. We can start with the simplest things, such as initiating a greeting or even maintaining a simple smile. The more gentle and warm our tone is when speaking with others, the more we will receive their goodwill in return.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear classmate, hello! I just saw your invitation to answer, thank you for your trust. From your letter, I can feel that you are unusually nervous and conflicted. You feel like everyone around you is watching you, as the college entrance exam is approaching, you can't relax and you believe that studying will make you better, but you feel unworthy of improvement. Maybe it is a subconscious self-defense mechanism, a rationalization that you can't relax and study, can't achieve good grades, because the current situation is like this, it is natural for me to not study well. Both the superego and the ego have a certain aggressiveness towards the id, and these two opposing points have been wrestling within your heart. Try taking deep breaths when you feel tense. Learn to accept the existence of the phenomena around you, perhaps it can help you relieve some stress. Would you like to give it a try?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I saw your message and understand your current mental and emotional condition. I am really concerned about you. You need to talk to your parents about your situation and ask them to accompany you to the hospital to see a doctor. Let the doctor assess your situation and they will have a way to help you deal with these difficulties. You can also find a counselor to talk to and undergo a psychological assessment. Here, I provide you with some methods to deal with anxiety for reference only. 1. Practice relaxation techniques that will help relax your brain, such as progressive muscle relaxation and abdominal breathing. 2. Make adjustments in exercise, diet, and interpersonal relationships: find supportive friends, engage in regular physical activity, and establish a healthy lifestyle with a balanced diet. This will help maintain the physiological, psychological, and neurological balance. Wish you good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From your description, all I can sense are your personal thoughts. I don't know if you have communicated with your parents about this, but some of your doubts and concerns seem to stem from distrust and a lack of security. You haven't strictly followed the doctor's instructions regarding the medication, either. If possible, you can also seek guidance from a reliable counselor for psychological counseling.",
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        "questionID": 22279
       },
       {
        "question": "What should you do if you have dry eye syndrome, which makes it difficult to cry, when crying is an important way to release emotions?",
        "description": "One important method of venting is to cry, but suddenly there is a strange thought, how regretful it would be if you want to cry but can't shed tears.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there, based on my understanding of your question, I guess you must have an interesting life to be attracted by the title. I thought you were facing some difficulty, but luckily, it was just my imagination. such a miserable thing didn't happen to you \ud83e\udd14 Out of the desire for knowledge, I looked up \"dry eye syndrome\". The susceptible groups are the elderly and people who use electronic devices for a long time. If you happen to not be elderly and do not frequently use electronic devices, then congratulations, you are not in the high-risk group. You can feel free to shed tears and vent your emotions. There are more ways to release emotions than just crying, and crying is not necessarily a way to release, so I wish you a pleasant day~.",
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        "questionID": 6175
       },
       {
        "question": "What is meant by a \"dysfunctional\" attachment relationship?",
        "description": "A few days ago, someone asked about my story, and a teacher inferred that there might be an unhealthy attachment relationship involved. It was the first time I heard such a statement, and I was curious. Does \"unhealthy\" mean something bad? Can attachment have negative aspects? Taking being dependent on others as an example, what would be considered attachment in that context? Living in that kind of environment for a long time, I couldn't objectively look at it nor sincerely face my own emotions, and I didn't dare to protect myself bravely. So when the teacher mentioned the possibility of an unhealthy attachment relationship, I even questioned how attachment could be considered negative. So, what do you think? Can attachment be negative? How would you define such a situation?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, deception and trust, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate, let me explain the concept of \"attachment theory\" in psychology to you. The concept of attachment was proposed by British psychologist John Bowlby in the 1960s to explain the emotional connection between infants and caregivers. Secure attachment: When a baby needs care and the caregiver responds promptly, the baby feels secure, loved, and confident. They display more smiles, are less inhibited, and are more socially engaged. They are willing to explore new environments and seek support from their caregivers. Anxious-ambivalent attachment: When a baby needs care, it is uncertain whether the caregiver will respond. The baby tries hard to seek attention and becomes easily anxious and overly dependent. They cry and become upset when facing new environments and are afraid to confront them. Avoidant attachment: When a baby needs care, the caregiver consistently fails to respond and displays a cold attitude. The baby becomes depressed, filled with doubt, and unable to trust others. They fear seeking help or comfort from their caregivers. Later, researchers found similar patterns in adult intimate relationships, which closely resemble the attachment styles developed in infancy. This is the basic concept of attachment theory that you have heard. Psychology suggests that the attachment patterns established in childhood also influence patterns in intimate relationships in adulthood. Generally, we consider any attachment style other than secure attachment as insecure. Your question didn't provide much information about your situation. When you mentioned being dependent on others, does it mean that you were fostered or grew up in a blended family, or were in a care institution, or some other situation? These circumstances need to be analyzed specifically. However, your inability to sincerely face your feelings and the fear of protecting yourself are indeed influenced by your upbringing. If you are interested in related content, I recommend you read the book \"Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change\" by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9785
       },
       {
        "question": "My boyfriend has a strong desire for control and is quite self-centered. What should I do?",
        "description": "1: It is easy to get agitated during arguments and I don't like to communicate. After arguments, I always think it's my fault and I voluntarily give in, but he thinks I'm being hypocritical and insincere. When I point out his problems, he thinks I never see my own faults. When I talk about an issue, he says I'm blaming him for everything. When I stay silent, he thinks I'm not expressing my opinion. He always uses my words against me and even retaliates by ignoring me. In short, there is a variety of communication barriers. 2: He's very sensitive. I mean exactly what I say, but he often misunderstands or distorts it, and even thinks my words have hidden meaning (all negative interpretations). I have talked to him about this issue, but there hasn't been any change. Whatever he thinks, he believes you're just trying to argue, which makes me very cautious when speaking. If I ask a question, he sees it as me being overly sensitive. When I explain the reasons behind my sensitivity, he thinks I'm blaming everything on him. But the fact is, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be like this. I can't even speak plainly anymore, I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. It's very exhausting for me.",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security, quarrels, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, you must express your feelings in the relationship. You can choose to be understanding and forgiving, but not blindly compromising. At the same time, you should also try to see the problem from the other person's perspective. Both of you should address the problem together, rather than targeting each other. From your description, it seems that you are proactive in communicating and discussing issues in the relationship, while your boyfriend's character may be somewhat selfish and not good at putting himself in your shoes. It seems that he can always find fault with you, regardless of whether you step back or move forward. You can try using this method to help yourself and your partner sort out the emotions and feelings in conflicts. What happened? What are the objective facts? In the situation, what emotions did each person experience (e.g., he got angry, you felt wronged, etc.)? Have you both acknowledged each other's emotions? Or have you each just expressed your own opinions, becoming controlled by emotions, and unable to think from the other person's perspective? What do you both expect the other person to do differently next time so that you don't get emotional or the emotions aren't as intense? It's important for both of you to learn to control your emotions, calm down, think about the problem, and help each other calm down when facing emotions and conflicts. Communicate and clarify in a timely manner, don't let misunderstandings persist, and don't let the same or similar issues become recurring points of conflict. Learn from past experiences, don't bring up old grievances, and cherish each other. Your boyfriend surely has his own strengths and qualities that attract you. When you're about to say something that may hurt him, you should first think about the impact of your words. Everyone has flaws and imperfections. When you discover all his shortcomings and things that are hard to tolerate, but still want to continue the journey together and still feel moved by the reasons why you fell in love with him initially, you can calm yourself down and face the problem. When he doesn't listen to your explanation, thinks you're just making excuses, or believes you never think you have any problems, learn to reflect on yourself first. Is there something wrong with your expression? Is your perspective too narrow? Have you considered the conflict from his point of view? Conflict will help you understand each other's boundaries and know where each other's sensitive spots are. It requires both parties to reflect and summarize together. Don't let arguing be just arguing, but gradually explore a more comfortable way of getting along. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Dear hug. I really understand the feeling of being so careful with every word, afraid of touching the other person's sensitive spot. This can make you very tired. *During the honeymoon period and adjustment period, I believe you must have had a very sweet time, where you were each other's perfect parents. But as time goes on, you start regressing, reverting back to your childhood selves, and you both hope that the other person can nurture you again according to your own desires. In other words, to fill the emptiness in your hearts with love, how much love do you need? To some extent, it depends on how deep your emptiness is. *The reason why you are still maintaining this relationship in the father's transformation plan is not only because you cherish the good things the other person has done for you, but also because you want to change your father. He must carry the shadow of your father, which makes you feel that as long as you change him, you can get a perfect father. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why you say you can't communicate with your boyfriend. *What do you want? If you want to implement your transformation plan, then you must accept the consequences, besides the ones you are currently experiencing, there may be even more serious ones. If you don't want to bear these consequences, then you choose to leave. Best wishes, I and the world love you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 17013
       },
       {
        "question": "The visitor's emotions suddenly got out of control. How should a novice counselor handle this?",
        "description": "If during the counseling process, the client becomes emotionally overwhelmed while telling their story, such as crying loudly, cursing, or becoming extremely angry, what should a novice counselor do in this situation? Should they give the client some time to vent? Or should they redirect the client's attention? Or is there another approach?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there, thank you for your invitation and trust. \u25a0 \"If during the counseling process, the visitor becomes emotionally overwhelmed due to the things they are discussing, such as crying uncontrollably, cursing, or being extremely angry, what should a novice counselor do in such a situation?\" \u25b2 Firstly, this is a great question. From my understanding, as a counselor, it is a positive thing for both the counselor and the visitor. The counselor can discuss the situation with the visitor and help them progress towards their counseling goals. (The personal growth of the counselor is also important.) If the counselor is a novice, it's best to let the visitor cry first. At this moment, the visitor is open and in need of listening and support. In Morita therapy, there is a mountain-shaped curve, so novice counselors shouldn't worry. Crying is a way for the visitor to release and self-reflect. In general, counselors will let the visitor cry freely without trying to stop them but providing some verbal comfort at appropriate times and preparing tissues. Don't think that whether they cry is a good or bad situation, it would be the counselor's \"I thought\" or \"I believed\" rather than being together with the visitor. Therefore, considering the individual reasons, it may be necessary for novice counselors to receive supervision from a senior counselor. \u25b2 Furthermore, based on the visitor's behavior, I think the counselor's skills and communication with the visitor are commendable. The visitor has felt acceptance, inclusiveness, neutrality, empathy, positive attention, and respect from the counselor, which are necessary conditions for the personal growth and learning of a psychological counselor. Therefore, the visitor is relaxed and feels safe, and the counselor-visitor relationship is good. \u25a0 \"Should the counselor give the visitor time to vent, or divert their attention, or do something else?\" \u25b2 Besides crying, the visitor may also express anger. These are all normal emotions that exist because they are needed at this time. This reminds me of a frequently asked question: Can you avoid depression or anger if you study counseling psychology? I won't answer directly but instead, I will ask a question: \"Are counselors humans too?\" \"Of course.\" \"Then, as humans, why shouldn't we have normal emotions? When sad, we should be sad. When angry, we should be angry. Only humans can empathize with one another.\" Visitors are in their own events, experiences, and situations, so they have every reason to express any emotion. Therefore, what visitors express in counseling may be precisely what they lack and need. On the contrary, we often find it difficult to express our true emotions in life. For example, when confronted with conflict, sometimes, to save face, we pretend to be kind; when we know we are being taken advantage of, we act generously; when being arranged or bullied, sometimes due to societal reasons, we have to flatter and accommodate, even though these behaviors have their own functions and purposes, but many times, you are suppressing yourself. If even in the one place where you can safely release, there is none, people would feel even more frustrated. How wonderful would it be to have a place where there is no judgment, no criticism, where you can be yourself and express yourself safely? So I also said that the counselor's professionalism is very important, and the definition of novice counseling is also worth exploring. On the other hand, the visitor's emotional expression is also valuable information for analysis. The excessive crying might be what the visitor needs but has not yet achieved, or it could also be a meaningful and functional behavior. Of course, these are all just speculation. It is only by actively asking and providing feedback that we can further progress once a good counseling relationship has been established. \u25a0 The path of a counselor is not easy, and personal growth is especially important. Investing in personal growth is necessary. Helping others also helps oneself. We are companions on this journey.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 21052
       },
       {
        "question": "We both have strayed mentally, and now I want to break up with her, how should I go about it?",
        "description": "She said that her feelings for that guy were getting stronger, so I suggested breaking up. We broke up that same night, but the next day, she kept coming to me trying to get back together. She said she misunderstood their friendship and that it was just a \"bromance.\" But I couldn't accept it anymore. I don't blame the guy, and I don't blame her either. Love is between two people. So I think this is a relationship problem. I couldn't accept it in my heart, and she kept trying to get back with me, but I kept refusing. One day, she came to my dormitory building, and I stubbornly went back to my room. She cried and even threatened suicide. I was so tired at that moment, both physically and mentally drained. To avoid any harm, I compromised and temporarily got back together with her. But my heart was already dead. Now that we've graduated, how should I go about breaking up?",
        "keywords": "Love, dependence, attachment, arguments, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sorry, I sent it before finishing. Let me continue writing. Just mentioned, you described the current state of your relationship. First, your girlfriend initiated the breakup, citing that she has stronger feelings for someone else. Then she proposed getting back together, claiming that it was just a friendship. Furthermore, your girlfriend even threatened to commit suicide in order to restore the relationship. So now you are in a temporary reconciliation state. However, as you mentioned in the question, you are mentally and physically exhausted and clearly stated that you want to break up, but you are unsure how to do it. In your description, you mentioned that both parties had emotional infidelity, but it seems that it was the girlfriend's emotional infidelity that caused the change in your relationship. I wonder what significance it has when you mentioned you also had emotional infidelity. I think there may be a few possibilities: 1) You have also experienced emotional infidelity, so you don't excessively blame your girlfriend and can understand her actions. 2) You are possibly hesitant and considering whether you can make an effort to forgive her unfaithful behavior and repair the relationship. Regarding these questions, I think you already have your own thoughts in your heart. You no longer have confidence in this relationship, so you want to end it. You don't blame your girlfriend's actions, but this kind of relationship makes you feel weary. I agree with the previous responder who suggested that when faced with your girlfriend's method of using threats to maintain the relationship, it is necessary to contact her family to have them play a supervisory role. Additionally, I think you should try to explain as clearly as possible to the other person your feelings, your perspective, and your plans for the relationship. Maintaining a relationship is a matter for two people, and forcing it will always lead to an end. Stay clear-headed and independent, and I hope you have the strength to deal with this relationship. Good luck!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: From your description, what I sense is that you both used to love each other, but now it's just in the past, right? According to the logic, you both had emotional affairs, right? But now she doesn't want to leave you, while you want to leave her. It's just that you don't love her anymore, right? Are you determined to break up now? If so, let's analyze from this perspective. Analyzing the problem: 1. She said she has developed stronger feelings for that guy, and you said then let's break up. (From your state of mind, I feel that you don't feel reluctant, nor are you angry. If that's the case, this breakup is basically done.) 2. You broke up that night, and the next day, she kept coming to you for reconciliation, saying that she misunderstood their friendship, that it was just a buddy type of relationship. But you can't accept it anymore, you think it's not the guy's fault, nor her fault, because love is between two people. (Although you say you can't accept it anymore, but in reality, you already don't love her anymore, right? Because you are so indifferent, love involves jealousy and blame, but you don't have that, right? You already don't love her, even if this incident hadn't happened, right?) 3. So you think it's a relationship problem. And you can't accept it in your heart. She keeps coming to you for reconciliation, but you keep refusing. One day, she came to your dormitory downstairs, and you stubbornly went back to your room. (From an emotional principle, it's understandable that you can't accept it. But the later part of the conversation, especially the way it sounds like a rational decision without love. If there's no love, then leave, that's also fine, not loving her anymore is great.) 4. She cried and started using the threat of self-harm, at that time you were too tired, that feeling, truly physically and mentally exhausted. In order to prevent any accidents, you compromised and temporarily got back together with her. But your heart was already dead. Now that you've graduated, how should you bring up the breakup? (Under those circumstances, anyone would compromise, after such a long time, her emotions should have calmed down, right? Just directly bring up the breakup, say you don't love her anymore. Graduation is already breakup season, it's normal. Don't tell well-intentioned lies, just admit that you don't love her anymore.) Face the problem: \"We both had emotional affairs, and now I want to give up on her. How should I bring up the breakup?\"~ Does she know about your emotional affair? If she does, then you're on equal footing, neither of you owe the other anything. If she doesn't know, she will have a sense of owing you, even if she doesn't love you as much anymore, she won't want to let go because she doesn't want to be seen as the bad person. Then you can tell her that you also had an emotional affair.~ If you want to give up, but don't know how to bring it up, if you're going to different cities, just gradually drift apart! If you're in the same city and she's still pursuing you aggressively, just express it directly, \"I don't love you anymore, I want to break up.\" Any girl would understand the meaning of this sentence. Just be a responsible man and bring it up. Closing words: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you find someone you can cherish soon! If you have any specific concerns, feel free to send a private message!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! This is a paragraph about the dynamics of a relationship. In the first half, your choices were wise, but in the second half, you clearly fell into a passive position, being led by someone else's threats. Her feelings towards others have become increasingly intense, and based on reason, it is unlikely that it is merely a \"misunderstood friendship.\" The boundary between friendship and romantic love is actually very clear, just as no one would mistake a flashlight for a power generator. Her claims of misunderstandings can be boldly interpreted as being explicitly rejected by someone else, and in order to avoid losses from both sides in a short period of time, she chose to rekindle the old flame. Emotionally, you cannot accept her deviation, and rationally, you are well aware that such matters cannot be forced. In terms of action, you refuse to reconcile, and your perspective on the whole situation is clear and insightful. The situation did not end because of your clear attitude; the other party has entered a state of crying and threatening self-harm, pressuring you to re-enter the game with her. Firstly, this has depleted your energy and spirit, and then, in a state of exhaustion and unable to fight back, you automatically raised the white flag. \"In order to avoid trouble,\" you have been successfully held hostage by her fragile facade. Now, how do you untangle yourself? Even if she knows clearly that your agreement to reconcile is temporary, for the sake of pride and face, she is unlikely to calmly accept that you have suddenly changed your mind again. If you take control of her life, it is equivalent to committing to responsibility. It is not advisable to break up in the midst of conflict and intense emotions. If you have no intention of fighting, then refrain from participating. Cold treatment can be a method. That is, first detach yourself from your emotions, maintain clear thinking and a firm attitude, and avoid being led by her emotions. Communicate calmly and honestly at the appropriate time. Avoid strong emotional stimulation, and do not force immediate resolution. Strategically withdraw step by step, otherwise, it will lead to a cycle of crying and being unable to escape. Compassion is often useless, and even compassion itself is pitiful. The morally righteous side in emotional entanglement is often controlled by others. Even if our willingness is strong, it is difficult to take responsibility for other people's actions. The worst thing is when our hearts are unwilling, yet we are powerless. Wishing you well!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 17344
       },
       {
        "question": "No one can understand or support me. I feel like there is no place to accommodate me.",
        "description": "As I prepare for the postgraduate entrance exam, my boyfriend broke up with me because of the long distance between us. My parents also disapprove of my future plans. Whenever I am determined to do something, they will tell me their thoughts, criticize my past actions, and warn me about my plans. Instead of offering me encouragement and support, they tell me that I spent too much time on my phone in the past, so it will be difficult for me to pass the entrance exam this year. However, they also expect me to focus solely on getting admitted, and if I fail, to follow their instructions. It feels like no one understands or supports me. Every time I try to rely on myself, someone interferes. It's like I thought we could be together in the end, and I believed that by following the path I've chosen, I would eventually reach my goal. But it seems like there are always external influences, particularly from people close to me, that hurt me. Each time I encounter this, it feels like my support system crumbles, and I feel utterly shattered. It feels like there's no place that accepts me, understands me, and truly supports me, except for myself.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your question, I understand that when you are facing a major life decision, the person you love the most chooses to leave. You hoped for understanding from your parents, but their response was almost negating. This has greatly impacted you and even made you feel disappointed in the world, feeling as if you are not worthy of being accepted by it. Thinking about your experience reminds me of Mr. Yu Minhong in the movie \"China's Partner\", who kneeled on the ground after performing poorly in the college entrance exam, hoping for another chance from his family. He often self-deprecates in his lectures, saying that his girlfriend 'slept with' him before going abroad. As adults, we realize that the world does not operate according to the rules we imagined when we were younger. We may think that certain things should be a certain way, but they turn out differently. We believe that our loved ones should understand, support, and accept us, but the reality is that our loved ones are also ordinary people. They have their own joys, sorrows, anxieties, and pressures from life, and they may act in ways that conform to the pressures of reality. Returning to your question, your family proposes to follow their plan if you fail the exam. From another perspective, it could be seen as them supporting your plan to take the postgraduate entrance exam, but also wanting you to hear their plan in case you fail. However, when your family expresses this, it seems to make you feel as if they do not support you taking the exam and that they do not trust you. Does the support and trust of loved ones seem more important than what you currently want to do? In life, we often see that some students feel that studying is not for themselves, but for their parents. If their parents do not meet their requirements, they will attack their own studies and develop resistance towards learning. As adults, when we do the things we like, we can also fall into a similar pattern. Even though we are doing something we like, we always hope for our parents' complete approval, as if this will absolve us of responsibility for what we are doing. It is all because of our parents' lack of support that our goals cannot be achieved. (This might sound uncomfortable, but it is worth considering). Personal development occurs gradually from a sense of security to a sense of autonomy and eventually a sense of competence. In a secure environment, we try to interact with the real world and gradually accumulate a sense of accomplishment in a tolerant environment. We develop a sense of competence, feeling capable of dealing with reality. If we did not gain a sense of security and autonomy during our early lives, we may easily become trapped in the pursuit of security and autonomy later on. On one hand, we hope for support, but on the other hand, we worry about negative outcomes. We hope someone else can handle the uncertain future on our behalf. Regarding your boyfriend, is it possible that the breakup was due to communication problems between the two of you? If the relationship truly is not suitable, could breaking up be beneficial for both parties? Do you feel like there is no place where you can truly belong? Regarding your doubts, you may be falling into a self-defensive 'should' mindset. After graduating, Xiao Ming joined a start-up company. Due to the company's high survival pressure and high personal competency requirements, Xiao Ming was fired for failing to meet the assessment. This experience of being fired caused Xiao Ming to doubt himself, thinking that he is not suitable for working in a start-up company. He then broadened this belief to thinking he is not suitable for working in private companies at all, and eventually that he is not suitable for work in general. As a result, he became fearful of going to work and stayed at home. What was originally a relatively common work situation became magnified in his mind. This does protect him from harm by isolating himself from the outside world, but it also limits his growth and interaction with reality. I really like a quote from a teacher, \"Change the world with actions, let the world change me with my mind.\" Everything we do is to obtain an ideal life, to change the world through our actions. However, the reality is that there are things we can control and things we cannot. Our minds need to develop the ability to flexibly respond to reality. The more complex our minds become (accepting multiple dimensions of the world, developing multi-dimensional strategies to deal with it), the better we can cope with the complex world. With our original intention in mind, let's embark on our journey home. We are together on the path of growth. I hope this helps and wish you good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that the original poster (OP) is feeling very depressed and hurt, and very lonely, as if there is no one, especially their family, supporting or approving of them. We all need the support, companionship, recognition, and encouragement of others, this is a normal need. When you want to pursue your goals and work hard for them, they cannot give you much and even discourage you. This reminds me of a term in psychology called \"gaslighting,\" which is a form of invisible manipulation and harm, and it is most likely to occur between family members. Maybe they don't mean it on purpose, like the things your parents say to you, and it really hurts you, this feeling is real, but it seems like you can't refute them because they are your family, maybe what they say is indeed true. I see that you have a good plan for yourself, and you are a person with aspirations and energy. That's great! Remember: do not identify with criticism from anyone. When you are confused and wavering, ask yourself: who am I? What do I want? Advice: the most important thing to remember is that you are already an excellent, capable, and likable person, you don't need the approval of an idealized object. First, have the willingness and determination to leave, even if you don't actually need to leave. Secondly, clarify your goals, don't argue or explain, arguing means manipulation, and explaining can easily lead to a cycle of manipulation. Instead, always remember what you want in this relationship. Thirdly, rewrite your response, express your dissatisfaction and needs directly. For example: you always say I have bad memory due to menopause, which makes me feel inferior. If you say it again, I won't continue talking to you. If the other person continues to pester, just leave directly. Lastly, consider the future, focus on a future away from gaslighting, choose new relationships as a source of self-awareness, vitality, and happiness, and use your energy for goals and dreams that truly matter to you. In \"Emotional Blackmail,\" it is written: the harm of this type of relationship lies in the loss of the victim's self-integrity\u2014a healthy relationship should be based on mutual love, consideration for each other, and the desire for the other person's improvement; otherwise, it is harmful to both parties. Whenever, please believe in your own feelings, say \"no\" bravely, and firmly leave. Good luck, Qi Xiaoqi.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing your title, my heart feels a pang of distress, which actually also happens to me from time to time. Because humans are social beings, we are almost inevitably influenced by the outside world. Currently, you are facing the \"heartbreak\" from an intimate relationship (your boyfriend) and the biased influence of your family (parents), along with the pressure of preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. All of this has made you suddenly feel powerless and self-doubt. In fact, this is a normal reaction. Right now, you are temporarily stuck in a \"quagmire.\" Various distressing memories from the past are being reenacted, causing you to lose direction and fall into deep pain. Actually, what you are troubled by is the \"helpless version of yourself.\" Assuming that you truly cannot receive support from the people close to you, would you really become a different person? Actually, you are still yourself. Now, let's separate the \"helpless version of yourself\" from the true you. If it were the true you facing the same difficulties, what attitude and mindset would you use to confront them? I hope that in your future life, you can use this statement to find clearer answers.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, OP. I understand your helplessness. It seems that your parents always judge the plans you propose and expect you to do things their way. From their perspective, they believe their experiences and wisdom are more mature and reliable than yours, so they want you to follow their advice, which may be more conservative but safer. However, you are already at the stage of preparing for postgraduate examination, which means you are an adult with independent thoughts. But it's difficult for you to deal with your parents' worries and control. Breaking up with your boyfriend also feels like it's beyond your plan, as if neither love nor postgraduate examination is under your control, and it feels like nobody understands or supports you, and you feel very lonely. Have you only been accustomed to accepting your parents' opinions? In fact, you can express your true emotions and feelings to your parents and tell them that their actions have made you uncomfortable. You are already an adult who can take responsibility for your own life. If you lack a sense of recognition, you can also confide in a trusted friend. Friends can empathize with you and see things from your perspective. But the most important thing is to strive for your own autonomy and make independent choices. Show your parents positive results of your decisions. When they see that you can lead a fulfilling life through your own choices, they might be more willing to compromise. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Long-distance relationships do put a strain on both individuals involved. However, if the other person is not even willing to make an effort, it means that they truly don't love enough. In a way, we should also be grateful to them because they made us realize that they are not the person we are searching for. For most parents, their expectations for their daughters are not very high. They may even want their daughters to follow their own plans for development. Therefore, when we present our own plans, they don't always consider our perspective. Instead, they point out our shortcomings and believe that we haven't truly understood ourselves. And when we fail, they are quick to tell us that we wouldn't have faced so many problems if we had followed their path. However, we are not machines; we have our own thoughts and considerations. So, when others fail to understand us, we need to learn to understand ourselves first. For example, we pursue higher education to find a better platform, which can provide us with more opportunities. So, regardless of success or failure, let's focus on experiencing the pursuit itself rather than thinking about the ultimate outcome. We can choose to ignore some of the doubts and judgments from the outside world because, until we succeed, all explanations can be seen as mere excuses. And perhaps, their attitude will change once we do succeed. Therefore, we need to temporarily shield ourselves from external distractions. For instance, we can find a relatively quiet place to study and minimize external influences. Of course, if there are any unhappy events, we can also confide in this place. The person who loves us the most may not necessarily be the one who understands us best. But it's important for us to know what we truly want to do. The world and I love you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5608
       },
       {
        "question": "A 30-year-old man wants to get a divorce, but he cannot escape from his responsibilities. This is not the life I want.",
        "description": "I am 30 years old this year. After quarreling with my wife over trivial matters at the age of 26, we got divorced. In 2019, considering the healthy growth of our child, we decided to remarry. However, we still cannot enter into a marital state. I want to get divorced again, but I can't escape my family responsibilities. I feel troubled and oppressed, this is not the life I want.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, divorce, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, let's give a big hug to the person asking the question, as we can feel their distress. I turned 30 this year and got divorced from my wife four years ago, when I was 26, due to trivial matters. Looking at the outcome, it is regrettable, but from a psychological growth perspective, do you still love her? Managing a marriage may require more than just love, it also requires great tolerance and understanding. If it was really just a minor issue, I think it might not necessarily have led to the current result. This question is worth deep contemplation together (are there deep-seated differences in character and values?). In 2019, considering the healthy growth of our child, we decided to remarry, but we still couldn't enter into a marital state. I want to get divorced again, but I can't escape the responsibilities of the family. I feel frustrated and suppressed, which is not the life I want. Every marriage deserves blessings. As the saying goes, it is better to try to reconcile than to encourage separation. However, from a psychological perspective, a continuing unhappiness in a marriage may cause greater harm than the consequences of divorce to the children. Children are the product of the love between two people. When you hold each other's hands and make vows regardless of poverty, illness, or adversity, have all those sweet and romantic moments disappeared? Perhaps you and your wife can seek further counseling from a marriage consultant, and if you really don't want to continue, then don't force it. I hope the above is helpful. Every couple experiences countless challenges. I've even imagined separating from my partner countless times in my mind. But from a behavioral perspective, love is an action, not just a feeling. If you really still want to save the relationship, everything is still possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, parents' love for their children is not because they love them and take care of them, but because they take good care of them that makes you love them. Similarly, if you no longer have feelings for your wife and don't love her anymore, there are generally two situations: either you expect her to love you, or you don't love her enough. The original poster says that the current marital situation is not the life they want. I wonder what kind of life the original poster wants? As long as you know what kind of marital status you want, as long as you can communicate openly and honestly with your partner, it is entirely possible to achieve your ideal life status. Here are a few methods for reference: First, establish a sense of family ritual, such as celebrating each family member's birthday, organizing regular family gatherings at fixed times, and engaging in brief daily communication after dinner. The more you care about the little things in life, the stronger the connection you can build in an intimate relationship. Second, clarify each other's roles in life. When both husband and wife agree on their roles, it will promote the development of the relationship and avoid boundary issues caused by unclear roles. For example, for a family with children, when both the father and mother have the same views on parenting and are willing to take responsibility, the marital life will gain more meaning. Third, share your personal goals with your partner. This not only makes the marriage more intimate, but also promotes the realization of goals. Whether it's a man or a woman, everyone is pursuing excellence, and no one likes a partner who has no goals or pursuits. As for the different aspects of your marriage, such as dreams and goals, there is no need to pursue consensus, it can be different, but you need to accept and respect each other. For example, if you enjoy the present moment while your partner likes to plan ahead, as long as you accept each other's attitudes towards life, simply accepting can improve the marital relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP: From your words, I can see your deep contradictions. You are a responsible father, but you have an unhappy relationship with your wife, and yet you chose to remarry for the sake of the child. Now that you're back in the marriage, you still want a divorce, so you're caught in endless confusion and bewilderment. I understand your feelings very well, and I hope the following words can help you. 1. Find the reasons why you can't enter the marital state You mentioned that before, you divorced your wife mainly due to quarrels over trivial matters. If the quarrels over trivial matters do not involve principled issues, maybe for this reason, you are willing to remarry for the sake of the child. So what about now? What are the reasons why you can't enter the marital state after remarrying? In fact, there are many reasons why a couple's relationship is not harmonious and they cannot enter the marital state. If the issues causing disharmony can be repaired, then life can still go on. For example, a wife complains that her husband is not considerate of the family and does not take good care of the child; or the wife's tension with her parents-in-law leads to a tense atmosphere with her husband, if they can move out and live separately or ask the parents-in-law to return to their hometown, the problem can be solved. But if the husband is always abusive, or if both parties have extramarital affairs, then it involves principled issues. If it is not a principled issue, if you are willing to make concessions for the sake of the child, to make changes for each other, the relationship between husband and wife can actually improve one day. After all, marriage is different from being in love, it requires mutual adjustment. I suggest that you communicate well with your wife and find out where the problems lie. If these problems cause less pressure on you than the love for your child, then I believe that in the future, there is a possibility of repairing your relationship. Therefore, if you feel that you cannot enter the marital state, you may as well sort out the reasons first and see if there is a possibility of remedy. 2. Weigh the pros and cons based on the current situation, is it better for the child if you divorce, or if you don't? Children are their parents' soft spot, and many parents choose to swallow grievances in the marriage for the sake of their children. Many parents believe that as long as mom and dad are with the child, they are good to the child, but they don't realize that the child actually wants their parents to be happy. If the atmosphere at home is filled with constant arguing or silent treatments, the harm that the child suffers from being in that environment is greater than if they were just with one parent. Finally, what I want to tell you is to find the real reason behind your marital disharmony and see if both of you can make changes to resolve these problems. When you find the reason, then ask yourself if the marriage should continue. Best wishes.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 18320
       },
       {
        "question": "After three years of divorce, we have been sleeping in separate rooms. How can I reconcile with my ex-wife?",
        "description": "After divorcing for three years, we have been living together, but in separate rooms. Now, I really want to reconcile, but my ex-wife does not agree. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I cannot make predictions about the possibility of you and your ex-wife getting back together because I don't know more about your situation, and this idea is currently yours alone. You should find time to talk to her about it. If you have children, you can mention the idea of getting back together for the sake of their growth and a complete family, but always respect your ex-wife's opinion. If you feel that your ex-wife no longer wants to reconcile or wants to start a new relationship, then you should not force it. There is a saying: if a woman leaves you, it means she truly doesn't love you anymore. Women are very devoted in relationships, once they make up their minds, they won't easily give up, but if they do, they will be determined and not easily turn back. I hope you can handle this matter with the right approach. Meeting and getting married again is your fate, but you should let go when it's time to. I wish you a smooth life. Best wishes.",
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        "questionID": 7774
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old girl, recently feeling really upset and don't know why.",
        "description": "A few days ago, it started (previously planned to go to Hebei Province in July to see a classmate, but the plan might be ruined due to the pandemic, and my parents have been talking about it. I don't know if that's the reason for feeling upset or if there's something else. Then, I became even more unhappy since yesterday, dissatisfied with everything. I just wanted to play games to relax, but ended up being blamed. Suddenly, I broke down and started crying, and the thought of taking sleeping pills suddenly came to my mind. I'm a bit scared and don't know what to do. I want to become happier.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's a coincidence that I'm also 19 years old and have had a similar experience. After the college entrance exam last year, I wanted my parents to take me on a trip, the three of us together. But it never happened. First, we argued because of my exam score, then because of choosing my major, and then because of studying vocabulary. I mentioned wanting to go out and play, and then my dad shouted at me, and in the end, we didn't go anywhere. After starting college, I felt really sad about the research I was doing, and I wanted to make an appointment for counseling, but they said I had to wait until Friday, and it was only Tuesday at the time. I had no one to talk to about my sorrows. I wanted to play a game called \"King of Glory\" to distract myself, but I got criticized for being bad at it. It was a really helpless feeling. In reality, when we feel down, it's often not because of one specific thing. When your emotions are low, you become very sensitive and feel like everything is not going well recently. You feel like everyone is happy and can't understand you. When you wear sunglasses, everything looks dark; when you're unhappy, everything around you seems gloomy. OP, think about it, when you're in a good mood and playing games with classmates, do you care if someone criticizes you? You might just brush it off as friendly banter with your classmates. So, this situation with your emotions is normal. Sometimes when I feel sad, I also think, what's the point of living when I feel so down? Maybe everyone has thought about taking sleeping pills to end it all; it's not that scary, and it's just a way to vent your emotions when you're feeling low. Negative emotions also serve a purpose. Perhaps this experience will make you stronger, and when you look back a few years later, you might say, \"Ah, I was so immature back then.\" Hang in there, OP!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for the warm hug and invitation! I had been planning to go to Hebei in July. I had some rough and even detailed plans, and I was looking forward to this \"trip\". But now everything has to be put on hold, and I can't help but feel disappointed. On top of that, my parents have been talking about it, which has made me even more upset and down. Hugs to you. I had also planned to have hot pot on the weekend, but I couldn't go because something came up, and I ended up crying. There are many meanings behind this sadness. I feel sad about my plans falling through, about my arrangements not being appropriate, about feeling out of control in this situation and being upset about it. I have some isolated and unresolved emotions. But don't be afraid, this is normal. It's also normal to have feelings of collapsing, or to think about taking sleeping pills. But it also reveals that I'm afraid of losing control and have poor coping abilities. In fact, as the saying goes: change is the only constant. We should try to accept small changes in life. Things will not always go exactly as we imagine. It's okay to be upset and let out our anger. After venting, we can continue with our lives. This year, we need to prioritize our physical health. As a person from Hebei, we welcome you to visit anytime!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 18377
       },
       {
        "question": "How to eliminate the anxiety caused by masturbation (worried about future illness and infertility)?",
        "description": "Concerned about whether I will become infertile and unable to have children after getting married due to a history of masturbation during my teenage years. What should I do? I have a strong sense of guilt and blame myself for developing this habit of masturbation! What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, anxiety, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Please forgive me for using a different term to describe it - there are two confusions in discussing masturbation: 1. Will infertility occur after masturbation? 2. Will there be guilt feelings after masturbation? Before discussing the confusion, let's talk about why we masturbate. It could be due to a strong sexual desire that cannot be released, the enjoyment of pleasure from friction, or the desire for comfort through sexuality. Masturbation is a normal physiological phenomenon and is widely prevalent in humans. Masturbation is a neutral term, just like drinking water. If you drink too quickly, you may choke, and if you drink too much, you may get water poisoning. However, if you drink too little, you may get dehydrated. One method to treat premature ejaculation is to achieve delayed training through masturbation. Appropriate masturbation is harmless, while abstinence can be harmful. The important principles of masturbation lie in self-control and moderation. Here are a few suggestions: 1. Stay away from pornography, repeat it three times if necessary. You can use appropriate imagination to fulfill your needs when you are single. 2. Do it within your limits, without affecting work, study, or life. If you feel tired or fatigued, then you have gone overboard. 3. Follow the regularity of ejaculating to relieve pressure. It is normal for young men to do it 1-2 times a week. 4. Do not grip too tightly when holding it. 5. Maintain a moderate rhythm and avoid stroking too quickly. 6. Reach a climax and ejaculate, do not hold back or prevent ejaculation. 7. Pay attention to hygiene and take a shower in a timely manner. 8. Drink a warm glass of water or milk, as it helps promote good sleep.",
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        "questionID": 5776
       },
       {
        "question": "If I eat too much and then take laxatives, I don't know if I have developed binge-eating disorder.",
        "description": "Hello, I used to lose about 20 kilograms through diet and exercise. Now I weigh 86 kilograms and I am very thin, but I am still quite strict with myself. Previously, I was eating quite normally, and my diet was also controlled, but recently I have been indulging in high-calorie foods such as bread and cake, and eating quite a lot. After eating, I would take laxatives and take a large amount of medication to help eliminate it, and then I would try to filter out the fact that I took the medication in my mind and convince myself that I didn't take anything. Every time I eat, I tell myself that it's the last time. I am very concerned about my weight and I may weigh myself every day. I can't bear gaining even a little weight, and lately I feel like I have lost control over my eating. I crave sweets and when I eat a lot, I would take laxatives. The next day, I won't eat anything at all, only drink water. I am starting to think that I may have a binge eating disorder or some other problem.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, binge eating and dieting.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! First of all, I'm really happy for you. It's great to see that you have achieved your ideal weight through your hard work. It's clear that you are someone who has very strict requirements for yourself. As for suddenly having the desire to eat high-calorie foods and then taking laxatives to control your weight, consciously ignoring and evading the issue of taking medication, I wonder what caused you to suddenly crave high-calorie foods. Could it be due to recent stress? And what is the reason for choosing high-calorie foods? Do you simply find them delicious, or do they give you some other kind of feeling? We first need to understand the reason behind your sudden indulgence in order to better solve the problem. If it's simply a matter of having a \"craving,\" we can look for other snacks that are suitable for fitness enthusiasts - low in calories and healthy. On the other hand, weight and dietary control is a good habit, but many people tend to fall into the trap of pursuing \"being light and thin\" excessively. We must approach the issue of weight reasonably and strive for a healthy weight rather than simply pursuing a low weight, as it is not beneficial for our health. It may be helpful for you to seek professional help or consult with professionals to assess your condition and develop a weight control plan that suits you. If you still find it difficult to control your impulse to eat high-calorie foods, it may be helpful to seek assistance from people around you, allowing external forces or third parties to help you overcome your impulses. It is also important to try to minimize exposure to these types of foods. You can also create a \"diet plan\" to plan how much high-calorie food you can eat in a week and set boundaries for yourself. After eating this type of food,",
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        "questionID": 14443
       },
       {
        "question": "I am approaching the age of 60 and I detest my mother's control. How can I break free from it?",
        "description": "I am almost 60 years old, but my mother still calls me every day, saying that I need to take care of her because she's getting old. She started saying this when I was 30 years old, and my brother has always been taking care of her. Hearing this, I became less and less willing to go home, and my heart drifted further away.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You are nearly 60 years old, and your mother must be at least 80 years old. According to common sense, this is the time to show filial piety. But you haven't said why you are unwilling to take care of your elderly mother. Is it just because she calls you every day asking for your care? We are not here to make moral judgments. Perhaps you have your own difficulties. Maybe you had a difficult relationship with your mother in your childhood, or maybe you just don't like her and find her old age and constant nagging annoying. But there is no way around it; in life, there are many responsibilities that we must bear. Taking care of our parents is a legal obligation for everyone unless they have seriously abandoned, abused, or harmed them, and have had their parental rights revoked. Otherwise, the obligation to support our parents cannot be waived. So, facing an elderly mother, we need to be more understanding and tolerant, and understand how difficult it is for a mother to raise her children. Understanding the psychological characteristics of the elderly is important. For the elderly, the biggest change is loss - loss of beauty, loss of health, loss of social status, loss of the ability to earn money - in short, their constant experience is one of loss. As the elderly age, they will experience more physical problems, which can lead to illness. The feeling of loneliness in old age becomes increasingly noticeable, and it is easy for them to develop mental illnesses. Growing old is pitiful, and everyone will experience old age one day, when the care and companionship of children become even more important. With understanding, perhaps in the last days of your mother's life, your companionship can thaw the emotional knots in your heart that have built up over the years, bringing you closer to her and achieving reconciliation with both her and yourself. Best wishes! The above are just some of Red Rain's insights, hoping they can be helpful to you. If you find them useful, please remember to click \"Useful.\" Thank you for your question.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 63
       },
       {
        "question": "After graduation, should you first look for a job or find a boyfriend?",
        "description": "After graduation, should one first find a stable job and then find a boyfriend and get married, or should one go with the flow? Should one take a suitable job if one comes across it? Should one start a relationship if one finds a suitable partner?",
        "keywords": "Growth, work, learning, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Have you already answered the question you raised yourself? That is, \"Just go with the flow, find suitable jobs and partners.\"## There's no need to plan your life too strictly. Being too strict with your life plans may cause you to miss out on some beautiful things. Of course, you can start now to make yourself better, so that you will have more qualifications to find a better job in the future and meet a better version of yourself. The above is my suggestion, hope it can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19849
       },
       {
        "question": "Every day at work is very unpleasant, how can I break free from this quagmire and regain happiness?",
        "description": "My job is based on commission. The base salary is relatively low, and the company's commission rate has gradually decreased from 40% to 10% now, and sometimes even less than 10%. The take-home pay has also decreased from the original 7k to just over 4k. The profits from the products I previously accumulated are no longer counted as mine. I feel very angry, anxious, and disgusted with the company's unpredictable behavior. I want to quit and I'm preparing for it. But right now, I'm feeling down and lacking confidence. I don't know how to become happy again. I request my friends to comfort and advise me.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, work pressure, job fatigue.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "#I feel very angry, anxious, and disgusted by the company's behavior of changing its mind and making decisions without consulting you. #The company changes its tune without any discussion and simply issues announcements? Can I understand it this way too? This kind of behavior from the company is indeed disrespectful to you, and that is the fundamental reason for your anger. #The salary has also decreased from the original 7k to just over 4k. This change is also the source of your anxiety, right? It means you have to bear the risk of uncertainty in the future. Choosing to stay means you have to endure the company's ever-changing behavior, along with the accompanying anxiety, anger, and possibly other things that might happen later. But you can set a deadline for yourself, like three months, and if there is no improvement by then, you can consider quitting and looking for other opportunities. The benefit of doing this is not having to face the hassle of changing jobs, although switching jobs also comes with its own risks. For example, the salary and benefits offered by the new company, the unknown work environment, and adapting to a new company's policies. Choosing to switch jobs means you have to bear the risk of changing jobs and may encounter similar problems as with your current company. You also need to evaluate your overall competitiveness, whether your strengths will still be relevant in a different job. You will also have to accept that your salary may not necessarily improve, and there will be a certain transition period. But you may have to spend a lot of time evaluating the company, and at the same time, the company will be evaluating you. You may also encounter situations similar to the current company... The benefit of doing this is that you may find a job that suits your needs and encounter many new opportunities. You have always had choices, but you need to realize that behind every choice, there are costs and risks. And the more information you gather, the more detailed your analysis of the costs and benefits of each choice will be.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that the source of your anger is not only due to a decrease in income, but also more so because of the company's lack of \"credibility.\" What's even more contemptible is that you have nowhere to reason with this \"lack of credibility.\" You can't find a proper place or way to vent, so on one hand, you suppress yourself, and on the other hand, you express your anger and resistance indirectly by resigning. Although this expression partially relieves your anger, it also makes your instincts vaguely feel uneasy, coming from the uneasiness of reality... Originally, the intermittent COVID-19 epidemic this year has already caused pressure on the overall social environment. Coupled with the repression you are currently facing, the pressure of finding a new job, it's natural for your mood to be poor. When you're in a bad mood, forcing yourself to be happy is actually inhumane. Respect your own feelings, make some preparations for \"tomorrow\" that you can think of, and confidence will naturally slowly build up, and happiness will gradually return. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Due to the impact of the epidemic, many companies have indeed been adjusting the benefits and treatment of their employees, so we can objectively analyze it. 1. Are the lower commissions for all employees or targeted? If it is for all employees and the company has provided a reasonable explanation, although the practice may not be acceptable, as long as the company's development prospects are still good, as long as we can get through this cold winter, there is still a possibility of a comeback, we can understand it. If it is only for some employees, it may be a disguised way of laying off employees. After all, such salaries are unacceptable to many people. After all, the cost of layoffs and voluntary resignation are different. In this case, we need to be rational. If it is a comprehensive change for all employees but the company no longer has development opportunities, then we can prepare in advance because when disaster strikes, everyone is on their own. 2. An immutable company has its own processes and systems, and these systems are not something we can easily change, so when encountering such things, although it is helpless, we also need to be prepared for the worst. If the questioner himself has some savings and has accumulated resources and connections over the past few years, then we should have good development in another place, so we don't need to be too anxious because we still have a way out. If we don't have anything left, don't worry either. Take a few days to prepare well. If there is a suitable opportunity, seize it, after all, there are always more solutions than difficulties. The world loves you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, to understand the overall situation of the company, if it is doing well, everyone can benefit from it; if it is not doing well, we can only make do with less. Only when this pattern deviates, should we consider how to respond, either by demanding better treatment or by finding another job that offers market prices. In sales, it depends on your importance. In some companies, 2-3 core salespeople can account for 80% of the performance. They walk in and out of the company like big shots and the boss has to please them. In other companies, everyone does similar sales work and anyone can be replaced at any time. Even if they were given a sweet deal initially, it will eventually be taken back. Some commission bonuses are only made as an investment to boost sales initially and are not meant to last. Cost-cutting is a skill that every company needs to practice. Sales is a position with a large income disparity. So, it is better for you, the original poster, to focus on improving future performance. Only top performers have the right to confront the boss.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! From your description, it seems that you are dissatisfied, angry, and anxious about the current adjustment of your salary, as well as the situation at your company. You are also considering preparing to quit your job. I can see that you are going through a tough time, sending you a virtual hug! You also mentioned that you are feeling down and lacking confidence. I would like to understand if you are concerned about finding a new job after quitting?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6675
       },
       {
        "question": "Because the worldly values are too cheap, I feel strongly that I want to attain liberation.",
        "description": "Currently, I have the following future choices: psychologist, artist, writer, master's degree holder, and pilgrim. Then I realized that besides being a writer or a master's degree holder, all the other options require me to have a formal education to pursue further. Therefore, I don't want to go through the hassle anymore. I plan to find a lifeline and instantly leap to the highest point.",
        "keywords": "Growing up, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for the invitation. Psychologists, artists, writers, monks, and pilgrims. These are also things I like. It seems that we both belong to a category of people who focus on spiritual cultivation. Perhaps, like me, you are very ambitious and therefore often set \"high standards strict requirements\" for yourself, so you are very prone to self-blame and self-esteem, and I used to be particularly concerned about what others think... These \"inborn\" traits derived from life experiences often make us feel sensitive in the fields of psychology, art, and other spiritual accomplishments, so we increasingly like to pursue things on the spiritual level. The problem is that you and the \"expected self\" need to reconcile. I don't know if you like the concept of \"parallel universes,\" which means that in another time and space, another \"identical me\" lives a completely different life from me. That me in that time and space, is the life I yearn for deep down. That me in that time and space, is the me I have been anticipating. So, the me at this moment is just a very unsatisfactory \"existence,\" and the current life is simply not worth living... I have had such a split before, and I also feel that if I kill the me in \"this time and space,\" perhaps the me in another time and space will become real... Whenever I encounter difficulties, I can't help but imagine this. And so, I continue to live in this way, at odds with myself... until a friend I have been dating for over a decade was unfortunately hit by a drunk driver while on a business trip, leaving behind a 5-month-old child, but did not have time to say a word... Everything just came to a \"crashing halt\"... I may still not have come out of the shadow of his death, my heart still hurts... The real death has shown me only his \"abrupt end,\" the world goes on as usual, just with one less him... I don't know if it was from that shock and pain, but suddenly I no longer envy the me in parallel universes and other possible lives... I started to believe in fate, I started to believe in hard work, I started to greedily enjoy every bite of food, I started to intentionally cherish every moment of joy: the scent of flowers, the sound of birds singing, the dappled light and shade under the trees, the smile of a child, the warmth given by a stranger, understanding the mother's difficulties... Everything mundane, rare, difficult, with laughter and tears in life... all those are what my friend can no longer touch, an incredibly cruel reality. My parallel universe shattered and fell apart, after I started living seriously, wanting to live as two true selves. One for myself and one for my friend who will never live again. I am still far, far away from being a psychologist, artist, or author, but now I think seeing my own smile in the mirror is not important. I have made peace with myself, and now I am my best self. It doesn't matter if I haven't become the person I wanted to be. No matter what I look like, I will love myself well. Being alive itself is a difficult practice. I hope you can also grow from it slowly, it's already great if you can keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17541
       },
       {
        "question": "I keep thinking about the mistakes I made in the past, how can I adjust my mindset?",
        "description": "Just as I feel that nothing has changed, my classmates around me have gone from being friendly at the beginning to pretending not to see me and constantly reminding me of the mistakes I made in the past. I always feel more depressed.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I would also do this, and my visitors would do this too. My visitors have even asked me, \"Do you ever think about the past or blame yourself?\" I said yes because I'm just a regular person. I think about the mistakes I've made in the past and have regrets about certain things. However, I still try to focus on the present! So, I believe it's not a problem to think about the past, but considering it a problem is the actual problem! 1. You treat your classmates with an unchanging attitude as if they're not very friendly. In other words, you expect them to be friendlier towards you, right? Have you talked to them about your relationship, interests, or attitudes towards interpersonal relationships? 2. You always think about the mistakes you've made. It was mentioned earlier, but here's an additional point: if you keep thinking about it, why not try to feel your emotions and thoughts in the process, and try to have a dialogue with yourself? 3. You feel oppressed. Is there something that you're dissatisfied with but can't let go? Find a hobby for yourself, like singing, painting, or writing, or even find a place where no one is around and scream, anything goes. Of course, the important thing is to be able to express yourself in words when you're emotional. For example, when you're angry, instead of smashing things or making others angry, learn to express your feelings in words and tell others how you feel. In conclusion, I hope you can express your emotions, seize the present, and study with peace of mind.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
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            "start": 138,
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            "start": 228,
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            "start": 238,
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           },
           {
            "start": 439,
            "end": 463,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for the invitation. Are you describing a situation that occurs when you start school or transfer to a new school? When people establish and maintain relationships in various scenarios, there are generally stages such as the \"honeymoon period\" and the \"ordinary period\" - when meeting new people, individuals often make an effort to show their enthusiasm and goodness, with a tendency to present themselves in a certain way, in order to make a good first impression. As people become more familiar with each other, they gradually relax, and their true selves will be revealed more often. If acquaintances always act like they are meeting for the first time, the cost of the interaction becomes too high and life becomes too exhausting. \"Pretending not to see\" is a strategy - it's too troublesome to greet the same person multiple times in a day. So it's not necessarily something you did wrong, and continually thinking about possible \"mistakes\" may itself be a mistake. It is better to focus your attention on studying. Are you feeling depressed due to this \"indifferent\" social environment? Is it because you were used to being \"cared for\" at home and now feel \"lost\" at school, leading to depression? If so, you can try to work hard and achieve outstanding results to make yourself shine. This way, you will have the opportunity to be respected outside of your family, and this is a pursuit in life - \"winning respect\".",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8715
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old female, recently feeling confused. Am I supposed to feel ashamed about something like this?",
        "description": "Recently, I have seen a lot of expos\u00e9s of indecent videos involving female and male college students, as well as news about some women who have fallen into unfortunate situations. It confuses and upsets me, especially when I see videos related to female college students because I am also a college student and a girl. It makes me feel ashamed, as if being labeled with a stigma. Once these things are exposed, the headlines directly label women and college students in a certain way. I feel ashamed and confused about why people would engage in such activities when they have hands, feet, and decent intelligence. Isn't it better to earn money through legitimate means? Seeing many outstanding women and comparing myself to them, my mood inexplicably becomes low and I feel down.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the main questioner, nice to meet you. From your statement, it is not difficult to see that you are a person with your own beliefs, and you acknowledge that you can exchange your life through your own labor and efforts. As for feeling puzzled and upset about seeing \"bad news about female college students,\" one reason is that you cannot understand their concept of money and life values \u200b\u200band another reason is that you feel that you may have some biases and stereotypes against them. In every industry, there are people who want to seek so-called \"shortcuts\" to reach their goals, just taking different approaches. However, the news actually amplifies certain characteristics of this group of people or makes generalized generalizations, so what we see is: what are college students like, or what are women like. This itself uses some stereotypes to arouse readers' more extreme emotions, thus attracting more readership. In fact, any industry has ways to take shortcuts, and relatively objective and rational ones are actually able to generate quite a bit of feedback, even the insults themselves generate traffic. So it's good to understand that the real world is not as one-sided as the news portrays, remain objective and rational without overly identifying, and there is no need to feel ashamed of your identity, as you have not done anything wrong. Adjust your cognition and focus on doing your best. 1. There are many identities in the world, and many people play these roles, and their personalities, upbringing, etc., are all different, so the interpretations of the same identity are also different. In this process, some people may not stick to their true selves and may make some irrational behaviors. However, this does not mean that everyone with this identity is the same as him/her. It is not uncommon for the news to magnify and define certain situations for the sake of clicks and readership. At this point, we need to rationally and objectively distinguish which things are worth being vigilant about and which are manufactured anxieties. 2. If you disagree with the actions of certain college students and girls, then take it as a reminder: tell yourself to stick to your own goals and gain through labor. 3. As for feeling down when seeing certain outstanding women, it is suggested to find the reason that suits you and ask yourself what you think when you see them: maybe you think of the girls in the news; maybe you think of your own efforts? However, no matter what, being outstanding is always a benchmark, a framework set by the external environment. Not all women can become so-called \"outstanding women,\" but every girl has the opportunity to become a person who can deal with everything in her life, someone who strives and is optimistic. Best wishes~ a little mushroom that hopes for a gentle world and gives itself time to grow freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2619
       },
       {
        "question": "It's the third year of high school, and I want to study hard, but why do I find it hard to calm down?",
        "description": "Since high school, my grades have been consistently declining. At first, I didn't pay much attention to it, but later on, my performance suddenly plummeted, and I haven't been able to improve it since. Now, I'm already in my senior year, and I feel like I haven't been putting much effort into studying these past two years. Now, when I try to study hard, I find that I can't focus at all. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion, chaos",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. Calmly analyze the reasons for your current state and start with things you can do to slowly get back on track and resume normal studying and living. From your description, it is clear that you are feeling anxious and troubled because of declining grades in your senior year. You want to improve your grades but find it difficult to concentrate. It is apparent that you are aware of the reasons, namely not putting your mind at ease for studying. So, where is your mind focused instead? Are those things important to you? How do you plan to improve your grades in your senior year? Specifically, what are your daily plans and schedules? When you feel agitated and unable to study, how do you adjust yourself? Don't avoid the problem, nor give yourself too many excuses. Recognize the things you can do, then take practical steps to tranquilize yourself, reduce anxiety, and take action, which is the best way to alleviate anxiety. Give yourself a certain plan, seek help from those who can assist you, do your best, don't dwell on the results, and treat it seriously step by step. Maybe because you haven't put effort into studying, collect your thoughts and diminish some desires and increase resistance to temptation. Make a plan and stick to it. In the beginning, it might be very painful and difficult to endure, and there might be moments of restlessness, just like now. That's okay. Let yourself learn as much as you can, and try your best to do it. The backlog of studying from the past two years cannot be changed overnight. Slow down, don't be impatient, it won't help. Adjust your mindset, and if you really need help, you can seek assistance from classmates with good grades or teachers to help you sort out your mindset and quickly get back into the groove. Take studying seriously, as well as rest and exercise, and do your best in the final year. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14667
       },
       {
        "question": "How to relieve work pressure and anxiety in the mind?",
        "description": "1. Just started working for almost half a year, I can't balance work and life. The company says it's from 10am to 6pm, but they also emphasize task-oriented work, which means a lot of overtime without extra pay. It makes me feel like I have no space for personal life. 2. Moreover, many things I encounter at work are new to me, so I end up spending much more time than planned, making it feel like work has no end in sight. 3. Career development is also troubling me because I can only work at this company for one year due to personal reasons. I'm worried that I won't be able to find a suitable job after leaving. 4. The stress from work has caused new health issues for me, which terrifies me and makes me feel hopeless. However, I won't give up on the job I have chosen for the next few years, and I won't switch to a government job or become a teacher. I want to know how to help myself with psychological development or how to better organize my life.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, work stress, work fatigue",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "A valuable job that gives individuals a sense of achievement and fulfillment is likely to help them overcome difficulties. The key is to believe that the hard work is worth it, so that the difficulties and pressure appear bearable in the face of significant benefits. The three points mentioned earlier by the author are all aspects of work that are unbearable. However, the author mentions in the last point that they will not give up in the coming years due to personal choice. Why can't they give up? Is it because this job itself has great value to them? Do they feel that their own worth can be realized, or can they receive good rewards, or do they feel that they are very suitable for this job and receive praise from others? Or is it because they fulfill their own values, such as helping others and contributing to society? What do they think is most important in their life? Does their current job help them achieve their goals? Let me give you a few examples from my own experience. When I was a student, I interned at a foreign company, and my supervisor was a workaholic. He worked until late at night every day and started working early in the morning, but he seemed to be filled with energy. Every time he talked about his work and his vision, he was full of passion and enthusiasm. He said that he had built up this company from scratch and he was determined to make it a leading company. In order to maintain energy for work, he went to the gym at six in the morning every day to exercise. He said that he couldn't bear such high-intensity work if he didn't exercise. For him, work was the most important thing. It could be said that he merged with it, and he was striving for himself. Another friend of mine who is a counselor faced a lot of pressure in the early stages of her career. She often dealt with visitors who had serious mental illnesses and even suicidal tendencies. What a tremendous responsibility it was. To some extent, other people's lives depended on her. She was under a lot of pressure, but fortunately, she was very good at her job and she had her own mission, which was to do her best to help others. In the face of such a mission and values, she also couldn't give up her job, because this was what she wanted, and valuable things often come with risks and pressure. In both of the above examples, they were not just working for the sake of work, but to achieve a purpose and pursue what they wanted. They were doing exactly what they wanted to do, and it was valuable to them, so the risks and pressure could be tolerated. If you ask them to do something that they are not willing to do and that has no meaning to them, then who would be willing to endure such great pressure for no reason? So, the author should first ask if this job is really of such great value to them. If it is just a mechanical job and does not have much meaning to them, then giving up may also be an option. Perhaps finding something that you are truly willing to put effort into will make everything less difficult. Of course, career planning is a complex issue, seeking help from a professional career planner may also be a good idea.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your description, I can roughly understand your current situation. You have a job that always requires overtime and you can't see any prospects. Additionally, your colleagues are also falling ill, which makes you feel uncertain. However, you don't plan to quit and all these problems are making you feel uneasy. So, I'll provide you with some small strategies that you can use to further improve your situation. First, you need to relax and think about the positive aspects of your job. I'm sure there must be some, such as the salary or the alignment with your expertise. Think about the good aspects and also list your own strengths, such as being responsible, having a strong sense of duty, and being enthusiastic about learning. Write down ten of these strengths. Once you've completed the list, I think your mood will improve. Recently, I've been reading some books on positive psychology and attending lectures. They often mention that successful and responsible individuals tend to focus on their weaknesses and areas where they have yet to reach their goals. However, in reality, we should focus on how we can become happier and more relaxed. Happy people are adaptable; they may not be perfect, but they can identify their advantages and disadvantages, and strive to fulfill their potential. As a result, they are content. This can be a reference for you: relax completely and tap into your potential. Secondly, when you have a better mindset, you can consider your job from a different perspective. For example, if the company has clearly defined working hours and unless your immediate supervisor asks you to work overtime, you can leave on time. I believe that's according to the contract, and HR cannot say anything about it. Unless there are unspoken rules in your workplace, such as everyone working overtime, as long as your immediate supervisor and HR have no objections, you can leave on time, as we cannot always be stuck there, which is also not efficient and creates a vicious cycle. If you find it difficult to complete your work, you can enhance your learning. For instance, read books or seek advice from senior colleagues with humility. This will help improve your work efficiency, so don't rush. The third point is about building good relationships with colleagues, as having a good working environment is important. While performance is crucial, the degree of harmony with the people around us may be even more important for our long-term work. You can give it a try. The fourth point is to build a solid support system outside of work, such as maintaining regular contact with family and friends. Find some hobbies or interests, such as playing sports or reading books, etc. It is essential to have your own leisure activities and arrange your life in a way that balances work and play, so that you don't strain yourself too much. If a string breaks, and we don't have any other support systems, it's very easy for us to encounter problems. This could be a reason why your friend Hao fell ill, but you need to analyze the specific situation. These are the small pieces of advice I have for you. You can try them out based on your own situation. In any case, I hope you can have a positive mindset and overcome this soon. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4391
       },
       {
        "question": "College student, recently my roommate is always together with my good friend?",
        "description": "My good friend is my roommate in my freshman year. Now we are interning and no longer live together in the dormitory. I have made a new friend in the new dormitory. At first, I thought he was very introverted, so I wanted him to hang out with me and my friend. However, I later noticed that whenever he saw my friend, he would warmly greet her, linking arms with her, but he never initiatively linked arms with me. I suddenly feel like my friend has been taken away from me, and that I have misjudged him.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, roommates and classmates, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! I can totally understand how you feel. It must be disappointing for you to realize that despite your efforts to include your introverted friend, there may be some ulterior motives behind their actions. First of all, I suggest that you observe the situation for a while. \"Actions speak louder than words.\" Is your friend really treating you as a friend or are they just coincidentally being friendly to someone else? How do they behave towards you? People's true intentions can be revealed over time, and I believe you will be able to sense their sincerity and warmth in certain details. I think after spending some time getting to know them better, you will have an answer deep down inside. Alternatively, you can choose to have an honest conversation with them. It seems like you already have this concern and worry in your mind, and expressing your thoughts might provoke a response from them. However, the premise of communication is \"whether you trust the other person.\" Do you believe in the response they give you, or do you trust your own feelings more? I hope you consider this carefully. From a different perspective, if your friend does indeed have ulterior motives, it can further prove the authenticity of your original friendship. Have you discussed your concerns with your friend? Are they still the same as they used to be towards you? Through comparison, you might be able to see the true colors of the people around you and appreciate them more. Throughout life, we encounter people of all sorts, whether they genuinely consider us as friends or have their own hidden motives. I hope you can approach this with a calm mind. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, because your roommate has become closer with your good friend, you may feel a sense of discrepancy and disappointment in your heart, and this is a normal psychological reaction. Trust is very important in interpersonal relationships, and timely communication is also an effective way to maintain friendship. Therefore, I would like to give you a few suggestions in the hope of helping you solve the problem and alleviate your mental distress! Take the initiative to communicate with your roommate and good friend: be open about your inner thoughts and hope to gain support and understanding. Timely communication can effectively resolve issues, help you open up, become closer, and better understand each other's personalities and ways of dealing with things, making your future interactions more comfortable and harmonious. Adjust your mindset: they are both your good friends, so you can try to establish friendship among the three of you, without feeling ignored due to oversensitivity. Give your friends enough trust and have confidence in yourself. Learn to be alone and focus more on yourself: each of us is an independent individual, and while we need friends, we also need to have the ability to enjoy being alone. We have the right to choose our own way of life and choose a comfortable lifestyle for ourselves. In life, we will meet many people, and we walk together with like-minded friends. Good relationships require maintenance, understanding, and trust. At the same time, we also need to recognize the importance of being alone, improve ourselves, and make ourselves better. Believe that you can solve this problem well, and I wish the three of you can open your hearts and become closer. Your personal mental health consultant is by your side. May my words bring you warmth! I would also like to thank the occasional passing readers for reading. Feel free to follow me and click \"Helpful\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello! Your roommate always hangs out with your good friend, making you feel less close to your friend than before. This must make you feel a little disappointed! Friendships during college are precious, and good friendships are built slowly. Your good friend was previously your roommate in freshman year, and now your roommate has become your friend. While it may not be as close as your relationship with your good friend, to some extent, you have formed a friendship with each other. Between these two, you are both good friends to them. The reason why you feel disappointed is because they got close to each other because of you, but now they have become close to each other, which feels like your emotional territory has been invaded. It feels like your good friend has been stolen away by someone else, and this is a normal psychological reaction. It shows that while you care about your good friend, you also expect your good friend to belong to you. The enthusiasm of your roommate towards your good friend makes you feel like your emotions are being violated, and you had the intention of having them all hang out together, but your roommate's enthusiasm towards your good friend makes you feel ignored. I suggest that you communicate with your roommate and good friend together, express your feelings to them, and discuss the desired interaction pattern between friends. This will help you avoid shouldering this sense of disappointment alone. The three of you can enjoy playing together, occasionally getting closer or distancing yourselves, as it falls within the scope of your friendship. You can adjust your expectations for friendship appropriately. I hope you can have a comfortable relationship and mutual understanding with your roommate and good friend!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3544
       },
       {
        "question": "19, how to deal with being easily irritable and only being able to calm down through self-harm?",
        "description": "I constantly feel that there are bugs crawling on my body, and I have difficulty sleeping. I am easily irritable, and if I suppress it, I can't control my trembling hands and numbness, and I can't speak. I have to bite myself to calm down. Now I have developed a habit of forcefully swallowing things to feel the sensation of them getting stuck in my throat. I have had this problem before, frequently washing my hands and self-harming to relieve stress, but I managed to stop. However, recently, this problem has reappeared.",
        "keywords": "behavior, compulsion, self-harm, stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I can understand how you must be feeling. It's easy to become irritable in daily life and not know how to control it. So, you turn to self-harm as a way to release the stress. However, even when you try to calm yourself down, the issue keeps coming back, which is very distressing. If the situation is severe, I suggest seeking professional help and receiving relevant treatment. You mentioned that the self-harming behavior resurfaces and, if repressed, you experience physiological reactions such as trembling hands and numbness, making it difficult to speak. Only through self-harm can you find temporary relief. If your situation is severe, I recommend seeking professional help as soon as possible to find the root cause of the problem and receive treatment. Look for other ways to vent your emotions and take care of yourself. Self-harm is a way to release emotions, but ultimately, it's not the best solution. It can cause significant harm to your body, leaving scars, and causing pain to those who care about you. Try finding less harmful ways to release your emotions, such as going for a run, exercising in a gym, or finding a quiet place to shout out your frustrations. In summary, engage yourself in activities that help you relax and don't get fixated on your current situation. Reflect on yourself when you are calm and without this irritability. Analyze why you experience such emotions and what factors ignite them. Is it because of accumulated negative emotions, excessive stress in your current life, or for some other reasons? Identify the root cause of your irritability and make adjustments in your daily life. Practice meditation, read books, travel, and make new friends to bring about fundamental changes in your mindset. Strive to lead a happier life and prevent the occurrence of irritability. Remember, your emotions are a reflection of your inner self. Only when you have a clear understanding and acceptance of yourself can you better resolve your problems. I wish you the best in overcoming your troubles and achieving a healthy state of mind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ First, let me give you a big hug and I hope you can feel a little warmth. After reading your description, I feel really sorry for you. Being 19 years old, you should be happy and carefree. Promise me that you won't hurt yourself anymore. I hope my advice can help you a little bit. Try regulating yourself. The Jungian school of thought believes that self-harm has a long history in human development. In extreme group behavior, the opposite of primitive worship is \"self-harm\". Idealizing the other person and demeaning oneself, hoping for their pity, attention, and salvation. Actually, in the past month, I have also been irritable, easily getting angry over small things and snapping at people close to me. So, if you feel uncontrollable shaking or numbness in your hands when you suppress your anger, it might be because you're getting too angry but not releasing it. You can try using breathing techniques to relax a bit, and then choose some suitable exercises, such as jogging or skipping rope, to divert your attention. Maybe this situation will be alleviated. Learn to share. You can also consult a relevant psychological counselor to find out the reason and then find the appropriate remedy. No matter what, life is the most important thing, and you are also great, deserving all the beauty in the world. I wonder if you're willing to share some of your feelings with others usually? Actually, sometimes when we encounter annoying things, sharing with friends can make us feel a bit better. Whether it's joy or sadness, sharing can make us better. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You mentioned that self-harm can relieve stress, but it might be because you're under too much pressure and don't know how to release it. So, why not make a daily plan that is achievable, and don't give yourself too many tasks, so as not to overwhelm yourself. \"There is only one me in the world, everyone else is someone else,\" so sweetheart, you should love yourself. Do you know that you deserve all the happiness? You should know that you are worthy of everything good. Life at 19 should be colorful, and you will get there too. Finally, I hope you can get out of your current state soon. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "As someone who is emotionally very unstable, I would like to share my inner thoughts with the questioner and hope to offer some inspiration. I often find myself shedding tears over seemingly ordinary things that most people wouldn't even notice, and I don't even understand why I'm crying. For example, when a classmate accidentally touches my book or when I stand up to answer a question in class. My parents are very worried about me, and I'm trying my best to control myself. However, the more I try to control it, the more I feel like crying. When I got older, I learned to pinch myself when I wanted to cry, using the pain to hold back my tears. Gradually, I realized that I started to enjoy the stimulation of pain. I developed a liking for spicy food and sometimes even wanted to eat bitter things, such as pills without a sugar coating. This made me very anxious, and I was afraid that everyone would notice how different I am from others. Fortunately, I have a very open-minded mother who also has some medical knowledge. From a physiological perspective, she helped me analyze my symptoms. She told me that the body is a very intricate machine, and the nervous and endocrine systems are what connect all the senses together. It's possible that my body releases hormones like adrenaline and thyroxine more easily than others, making me more sensitive and irritable. The stimulation of pain triggers a protective response in my nerves, which in turn regulates the hormone levels in my body. So, my dear, don't be afraid. We simply have a body that is more sensitive to the outside world. Let the body take care of its own matters, and don't put too much psychological pressure on yourself. You are a wonderful person, you just haven't found a way to live in harmony with your body yet. If you're feeling impulsive, exercise is definitely a great way to release those feelings. You can even redirect the excess energy through stimulating acupuncture points or massaging your muscles, which is beneficial to your physical health. Eventually, you will come to enjoy this feeling. If you want to know more details, feel free to message me. I love the world, and I love you too. I wish you well.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12586
       },
       {
        "question": "I always lose interest in things after a short period of time, what should I do?",
        "description": "I have a long reading list, but now I'm struggling to continue after finishing one-third of it. It has been abandoned for half a month already. I want to finish reading it, but recently every time I try to open it, I unconsciously browse other things or even feel sleepy as soon as I start reading. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! When I clicked on this question, I thought that you really did only spend three minutes on something and then set it aside without doing anything. That's definitely not good, since three minutes isn't enough time to accomplish anything! But after reading your question, I was surprised. You have a long book list, and you said you stopped reading after one-third. And my thought is: you've actually finished one-third! That's really impressive! You see, I have many book lists on my reading app, but it's very possible that I haven't finished a single book from those lists. Please take a moment to look back at the books you've already finished, think about the effort you put into reading them, and the benefits you gained from them! It seems like you're ignoring your success and magnifying your failure, focusing too much on the unfinished two-thirds and feeling anxious about not completing them. Take some time to think carefully: do you really need to finish the other two-thirds? Making a book list is just a process of listing, and when we make these lists for our future selves, we think that doing these things will benefit us. However, the true benefits can only be known once we actually do them. In this list, we usually choose the ones we're interested in or the ones that are easier to do first. The one-third that you finished must be the books that you were most interested in and eager to learn about, right? So please take a look at the remaining two-thirds and select the books that you're still interested in learning about as your starting point. If you find them boring, just discard them and move on to the next one. You should know that it's not necessary to finish every book. Some books may not be worth reading, either because the language is too difficult or they don't offer much valuable knowledge. It's better not to read them at all! Understand the fundamental purpose of your reading. If you're just reading books to tick off the list, let me teach you a good trick- read book reviews on Douban, read the foreword, then read the table of contents, and select the sections you're interested in from there. That way, you can consider the book as finished. Many people who skim through books do it this way. The resulting insights and knowledge are quite shallow, and I don't really recommend this approach. But if you really want to complete the list and develop a reading habit, it's a pretty good method. Personally, I believe that reading is for the instant joy of it. Opening a book and immersing yourself in the reading moment is what matters most. For me, making a book list is just a reminder- this book I haven't read yet, these are the books you might be interested in. But if a book list becomes an obstacle that restricts my reading, causing me anxiety and unrest, then it's better to just let go and, amidst the vast sea of books, go find my own Mr. Right. Completing one-third is already quite amazing. It's not just a fleeting interest or a failure. Please don't let the book list limit your reading journey. Go do what interests you, read the books you're interested in! Keep it up~",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. People don't like the feeling of \"not being in control\". When you made a \"long reading list\" plan and couldn't keep up with your original plan, you would feel \"I can't control myself\" and then start to question yourself, which leads to dissatisfaction and stress, resulting in \"internal exhaustion\". For example, from reading itself, it escalates to why you are not the person you want to be, causing such \"mental struggle\". However, internal conflicts are more exhausting than reading itself, so your plan is shelved. So, you don't not want to read, you don't want to face yourself - the real you who didn't keep up with the plan. The real you looks much worse than the imagined you, so what's the use of striving as the real you? It's better to just lie down. However, it is the real you who made the \"long reading list\", it is the real you who has already earnestly completed one-third of the long reading list. The imagined you hasn't done anything, just standing by and mocking you, that's it. Who is better, can you see it clearly? Let go of the internal conflicts with yourself. Reward yourself, the one who has completed one-third of the reading list, with a short vacation. (In the plan, remember to schedule leisure time to reward yourself after each completion, not just full of \"tasks\"). It's already August, so you can subtract two-thirds of the reading list, so that every book you finish afterwards is extra, outside of your \"planned book list\" for this year. This way, the pressure would be much smaller if you only consider what has been completed or exceeded. Your self-evaluation will also increase rapidly, right? Loving oneself is a lesson for a lifetime. The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you, hope my answer can help you. Why does the phenomenon of \"three-minute enthusiasm\" occur? This is because you don't genuinely like the thing or you don't really want to change deep down. When you see your friends make progress, you feel a little tempted, but when faced with other things, you forget about that temptation. Especially in this rapidly developing era, many people have no idea what they truly like and just go along aimlessly. With unclear goals, they don't know what they should or shouldn't pursue. They keep vacillating in their goals, ultimately missing out on opportunities time and time again. They lack the breakdown of goals and always want to become experts all at once. Don't forget, all experts keep their eyes on the goal and work hard step by step, overcoming many difficulties and accomplishing small goals before becoming experts. Lacking confidence, worrying about being mocked by others for making mistakes. Have you ever thought that when you are not as good as others, you are always afraid of being mocked or looked down upon from within. If you want to avoid being ridiculed, you need to become confident and make yourself stronger. Lack of self-discipline, always relying on others to push yourself to do things. We have been guided by our parents and teachers since childhood, and over time, we become accustomed to lacking self-discipline. We don't tempt ourselves or motivate ourselves. When the temptation of change surpasses the defense line within you, when ideals and desires coexist, you will unhesitatingly do things to the extreme. Because you know that only by changing yourself, succeeding, rewarding yourself, and realizing your ideals can you satisfy your desires. At this point, you will go all out to make changes and the phenomenon of \"three-minute enthusiasm\" will not occur. How to change the habit of always having \"three-minute enthusiasm\"? Cultivate a liking for something before you attempt to change it, then you won't experience \"three-minute enthusiasm.\" Break down the big goal into several small goals, starting from easy to difficult. Over time, you will develop a liking for the thing you are about to change. This way, the phenomenon of \"three-minute enthusiasm\" won't occur in you. After completing a small goal, you need to constantly provide feedback to yourself and give yourself a small reward. In this way, you can repeat the cycle of \"goal-action-good results-feedback-reward\" and persist. This way, you will definitely be able to change and not experience the phenomenon of \"three-minute enthusiasm\" again. Cultivate your self-discipline. Without self-discipline, you won't be able to persevere and won't accomplish anything in the end. Cultivate good habits because 95% of your behavior is determined by your personal habits. Good habits are cultivated slowly. Cultivate good habits and start by changing your behavior patterns, especially the ones that aren't good. If you persist for three months, your behavior patterns will improve significantly. If you persist for three years, you will become one of the top experts.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You have an extroverted personality, and the problem does not lie in your willpower, but rather in your attitude. An extroverted personality is often in line with one's environment. The danger of extroversion is that it can easily be constrained by external factors, causing one to lose oneself in toil. It forces the individual to impose self-restriction spontaneously. Either extroverted individuals forcefully put pressure on themselves, without considering whether they genuinely enjoy those things, or the stronger the suppression, the more childish and primitive the desires become. 1. Understand the root cause and think about what you truly enjoy. What are you best at? Do you genuinely enjoy what you are good at? Once you understand what you enjoy the most, reflect on your past experiences. Then set goals for yourself, what do you want to achieve? What is the purpose behind it? The more detailed, the better. 2. Self-positioning. Quickly find your position by thinking about someone who truly enjoys what they do. How would they handle situations? Could they persevere? What kind of mindset would they have? Would they be happy? Ponder over these types of questions and ultimately tell yourself that you are someone who genuinely enjoys doing something. 3. Have confidence. Prepare to embrace failure, but remember that failure is not meant to discourage you, but rather to make you understand your limitations and do better. If you can show enough confidence, you can exude a strong sense of presence. The taste of self-assurance is wonderful. It not only enhances your comfort level of existence but also influences others. When you find your own style, do not easily change it, regardless of how others may scorn, unless you believe that a change is truly necessary.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 12854
       },
       {
        "question": "Usually it takes a long time to show, with a significant lag in emotional perception.",
        "description": "I feel like a dog trapped in a pit with a nail tethered nearby. I can jump and escape, but either I will get buried or the nail will be gone. It's like burying myself while feeling unhappy and having slow emotional perception. Usually, it takes a long, long time for me to realize my own emotions. Then I start feeling sad and never proactively showing my weaknesses, fearing I will be rejected. When I was feeling uncomfortable before (my mother was putting pressure on me and criticizing my friends), I would crazily scratch my own legs, causing bruises. I want to know what symptoms this is.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, hypochondria, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Both the mind and body are trapped. It is not to say that these are symptoms, but rather a manifestation of emotional repression. Perhaps in severe cases, there is even an emotional isolation defense mechanism in order to protect your inner self from devastating blows. Only through using these defense mechanisms unconsciously can one self-protect. However, over time, the defense mechanisms that originally protected us become constraints on our emotional perception and the development of the mind and body.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello, hugs to you~ After reading your description, it seems that you feel your emotional perception has become dull, unable to feel happiness, and delayed perception of pain. These certainly make your life very painful, and I truly sympathize with your experience. Based on your description, I feel that your current emotional characteristics seem to have become a bit numb. I noticed that you mentioned your mother \"pressuring me and slandering my friends\" beside you, and I think her influence on you must be significant, even causing you to become accustomed to suppressing your own feelings. In fact, when discussing the origin of the family, we often tend to attribute all misfortunes to it, but this is a mistaken notion. Even if the origin of the family has caused us pain, we can rely on our own strength to change rather than stagnate. I feel that your emotions are indeed delayed due to being suppressed, so I hope you can seek help from people around you, not bear it alone. It would be best to receive psychological counseling and avoid harming yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2914
       },
       {
        "question": "I killed the fish that my stepfather raised, but now I feel full of guilt about it...",
        "description": "My stepfather keeps his fish in a large fish tank with a water pump in my bedroom, and the noise is very loud and disturbing during my rest and study. The fish tank makes my room very humid and increases the number of bugs. Furthermore, my mom and him have a difficult relationship, but I have to keep enduring it for the sake of my younger brother. Also, because I will be taking a high school entrance exam next year, I am under a lot of psychological pressure and my anxiety is unstable. Finally, yesterday, my mom and I argued over a minor issue on the phone, and I realized all the things they have done to me and the harm they have caused me over the years. So, I decided to implement my plan in advance, putting a large amount of salt and sugar in the fish tank to kill those fish. This way, my stepfather will no longer come to my room, and the water pump from the fish tank will no longer affect my studying and resting. After all, I can't kill him, but killing his fish is a form of revenge. (He molested me when I was younger, but I have never told my mom. His gaze towards me is often that of a pervert, and he would touch me when my mom isn't around. I haven't told my mom because she would face domestic violence and might leave her son). I can endure a few more years of revenge against that terrible old man, but now I feel guilty towards the fish. I actually really like them, but they shouldn't be looking at me dying in my room. I also feel very upset about it. I know that my mental state is abnormal, but I will disguise it and protect myself. Lastly, please tell me what illness I have. Please help me!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, guilt, shame.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Every person has emotions, and I understand why you want to retaliate against him, why you choose to retaliate against his belongings, and the despair of silently swallowing the disgust after being molested by a foster father. You need a healthy and reasonable way to release these emotions and heal this trauma, like a birthmark. The problem of child sexual abuse is much more serious than we imagine, and it is mostly committed by acquaintances. Among the 107 people I served in the pandemic public welfare, 28 people were victims of sexual abuse, molestation, or rape, which shocked me. Many of them, like you, are telling others for the first time, enduring this trauma for decades, unable to speak out, enduring the disgust as if their bodies were crawling with maggots, but unable to remove it or seek help from others. Killing the foster father's fish today is your retaliation when the disgust becomes unbearable for you. This is also the greatest self-protection you can do within your ability because you cannot protect yourself at the moment. What you can do is retaliate subtly without causing domestic violence, and those dead fish are quite innocent. If you really feel guilty and remorseful, you can engage in self-reflection. I know you didn't intend to harm those fish; you just couldn't find a reasonable way to retaliate while protecting yourself. Go back to the trauma to heal yourself, learn to forgive yourself and protect yourself. Now, feelings of guilt, shame, fear, and remorse repeat and intertwine. I know you are particularly suffering. On the one hand, the trauma of being molested needs healing. They will constantly remind you that you are a victim, and the fear of your mother being abused hangs over your head like a sword. The guilt of killing the fish makes you feel like a murderer. I can understand how these emotions torment you every day. Honestly, treating sexual abuse and molestation requires seeking help from a hypnotist or a psychotherapist. Psychological counseling may be slower, but with your college entrance examination approaching, your emotions are exploding, and you definitely need to find a local professional healer or therapist as soon as possible to help you through this dark phase of life. If your financial situation does not allow for it, you can find a safe and quiet space to try the \"empty chair technique,\" the specific operating methods can be researched on Baidu videos, which can also provide some relief. You can also search for self-healing meditation audio online and give yourself some guidance. I recommend purchasing a subscription for \"Meditation Planet\" to practice daily. It will be helpful when you feel helpless in protecting yourself and unable to seek help from your mother. Leave the person and environment that make you fearful and anxious, and stick it out for another year. You need to devote all your energy to your studies. You can gradually digest your emotions through the meditation exercises on Meditation Planet. Only when you leave this home will you be safe. I know you must have thought about studying in another city, far away from this terrible person and place, so now you must persevere. If you can live on campus, apply for it so that you can ensure that there are no setbacks in your college entrance examination. I believe you can do it. I look forward to hearing the good news that you will be attending college in another city next year.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, I can understand that 1. The relationship between OP and their parents is not good and there have been many unhappy incidents. 2. OP's father keeping fish in OP's room has affected OP's studying, and OP killed these fish and now feels very guilty about it. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Psychological energy accumulates in a person's inner self and is difficult to vanish into thin air. The past unhappiness between OP and their parents, such as the dissatisfaction and grievances that OP mentioned and didn't dare to tell their mother, have been accumulating in OP's heart without release, causing a lot of pressure. Perhaps telling a trusted family member or friend about these grievances and thoughts, or writing them in a diary to express one's thoughts, will make OP feel a little better. 2. Emotions can be transferred. The actions OP took towards the fish make OP feel guilty and wondering if they have mental issues, but that may not necessarily be the case. When people can't release their inner emotions on the objects that caused those emotions, they tend to choose to vent their anger on weaker objects. For example, a husband who was criticized by his boss at work and couldn't argue back might come home and innocently scold his wife, who then can't confront her husband and ends up scolding their child, and the child feels even more helpless and doesn't know what to do. At that moment, the family cat passes by and the child kicks it. OP's emotions and the act of killing the fish may also stem from this kind of feeling. 3. However, the most stable and effective way to solve family problems is to communicate with parents. If OP feels like they can't say these things face-to-face with their mother, writing a letter to their mother to express the grievances of these years and explain the reason for killing the fish is also a method that can help their mother understand them.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "First, give yourself a hug. Okay, don't immediately assume that there's something wrong with you. In the situation you described, anyone would have a reaction, although it might be different from what you did. After all, facing these things can be tough. The first thing you need to do is protect yourself. If the incidents of harassment happened a long time ago and there is no evidence, it may be difficult to pursue. However, if it happens again or if there are signs, consider telling your mom or calling the police, or using it as a warning to your stepdad. Maybe it's because you rely on this family due to your mother and younger brother, or maybe you have no other choice for living, which makes it difficult for you to make more decisions and you can only bear the humiliation. I empathize with you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. \"The sound is very loud and it disturbs my rest and studying. The fish tank makes my room very humid and attracts more bugs.\" \"He molested me when I was young, but I never told my mom.\" \"He touched me when my mom wasn't around, and I didn't tell her.\" These are violations of your rights by your stepfather, and you have the reasonable and lawful right to protect your legitimate interests. However, you are weak and not standing up for yourself, allowing the abuser to continue. The reasons given were \"my mom and he have a bad relationship but she has to tolerate it for the sake of my little brother\" and \"she would leave her son if she were to experience domestic violence.\" None of these reasons are for yourself, isn't that scary? Clearly, you are living for your mother, but if your mother tells you to hit someone, would you do it? In these past ten years, it seems like you haven't truly lived, you have no sense of self, is your sense of self just your mother? Is that not pathetic? Only when you have a sense of self and the ability, can you protect the people around you. If you can't even take care of yourself, how can you protect others? When you were still a small fry, worrying about another small fry being eaten by a big shark? You yourself have already caught the attention of the big shark. As for the fish tank issue, you could have resisted, told your stepfather directly that it disturbs your studying and you can't sleep because of the noise, and if he doesn't move it, threaten to smash the fish tank and actually do it a few times. If he dares to hit you, call the police. If he molests you, call the police. If he abuses your mother, also call the police, or post evidence of the abuse on the media to expose him and make him leave. These are all solutions. 2. Your actions, on the other hand, do not defend your rights, nor protect your mother, nor fight against the stronger party. Instead, you bully the weaker one, as evidenced by the fact that you argued with your mother over a small matter on the phone yesterday. Therefore, it's like the old saying in China, \"bullying the weak while fearing the strong.\" So your behavior is extremely despicable, and it leaves one with a chilling feeling. 3. There have been numerous reports of domestic violence in recent years, haven't you seen any of the news? And the online revelations of domestic violence and molestation of elementary school students, with so many examples, what have you learned? Have you only learned to submit to the strong (your stepfather) and then bully the weak (your mother)? I hope you will take care of yourself.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8435
       },
       {
        "question": "Because of the lack of trust from the parents, how to deal with study aversion and anxiety?",
        "description": "Because I used to have good grades, I didn't study hard, but in recent years, my grades have been declining. I've realized the importance of studying and plan to catch up on what I missed before. However, when I mentioned it to my parents, they showed distrust and believed that I wouldn't take the initiative to study (they didn't say it directly, but I think that's what they meant). Yet, they still want me to do well. I've talked to them about it three times, and each time their reaction was similar, either indifferent or distrustful. But my teacher believes in me and has high expectations for me. I'm torn and feeling low. On one hand, I don't want to disappoint my teacher, but on the other hand, due to my parents' constant discouragement, I've lost enthusiasm for learning. I've even lost interest in the hobby I've been persisting in for more than ten years. I've started experiencing insomnia, not feeling like eating all day, and then waking up in the middle of the night to eat a lot. I don't feel like doing anything and have a sense that it doesn't matter whether I'm alive or dead. I've lost passion for anything, experience extreme mood swings, feeling very down, and I don't know what's going on.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From the description, I understand that 1. Your grades are dropping, and you are planning to review previous materials. 2. Your parents don't trust you and haven't provided the support you need. 3. You feel very sad but don't want to disappoint your teacher. [Some analysis and suggestions] 1. First of all, it's normal to feel upset when facing difficulties and being discouraged by them. The key is how to deal with these feelings. 2. Communicating with your parents is crucial. Perhaps your parents' lack of trust is due to your past lack of focus on studying. So maybe you can give your parents another chance. Talk to your teacher and find suitable study methods. After a few days of studying, show your parents your determination, and maybe then you can get their support. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 14434
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it that the more books I read, the more I look down on the people around me?",
        "description": "I am a college student and I have always loved reading books. After reading some books, I feel out of place with my classmates and unable to connect with them. I find them very ordinary and childish, and sometimes I find their actions ridiculous. How should I face this? Is the problem with myself? I feel like interacting with them is a waste of time, but at the same time, I feel that I shouldn't act too superior.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts and contradictions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Reading can broaden a person's horizons, deepen their thoughts, and provide a more comprehensive perspective on issues. If you read more and learn more, it will naturally show in your communication with classmates, and you can openly acknowledge and face this difference, while also affirming your own gains and growth. It is natural to feel out of place and unable to relate to others. You may think they are \"immature,\" and this viewpoint is not wrong. You don't need to blame yourself or see it as a problem. Different people have different perspectives, which naturally leads to different behaviors. However, an individual is complex and multifaceted. If you simply feel superior to your classmates because of different views on certain matters, considering them all as inferior or immature, it would be overly one-sided. You can widen your gaze and look at the bigger picture, for example, recognizing that some classmates have beautiful singing voices or are excellent at playing sports, or that some colleagues are kind and gentle, and so on. See their other shining qualities. If communicating with them doesn't satisfy you, it's okay to not have too much interaction with them and maintain basic politeness. Instead, you can find like-minded companions through platforms like Douban or book clubs and engage in more in-depth discussions and learning together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, reading books is helpful for one's growth, cognition, and decision-making. However, it requires critical thinking. It's better to have no books than to blindly believe in them. You need to integrate your own theories with practice. (1) In interpersonal relationships, while you immerse yourself in the world of books, there is still a gap between that world and reality. The beauty depicted in books is often the result of various conditions coming together. You need to experience the truths from books in the real world. The truths also have an impact on the real world. When it comes to human relationships, finding common ground and similar interests is what makes conversations flow easily. Currently, the people around you, including your classmates, might have different focuses and interests. While you gain higher intellectual enlightenment from books, your classmates are still living in the real world, playing games, listening to music, talking about food, relationships, weight loss, and gossip. You might find them immature. In reality, they are just a reflection of most people in the real world, whom you will encounter most frequently in the future. In interpersonal relationships, what do you hope to gain? Finding a companion to share life with is something they can fully provide. However, if you seek a partner who connects with you spiritually and shares your pursuit of a higher purpose, then they are not suitable. They are not wrong; they just don't meet your specific needs in that aspect. Therefore, when interacting with them, it's alright to seek commonalities while accepting differences. You don't need to impose your pursuits on them or judge them based on your own standards. (2) In terms of self-awareness, if you have goals you want to pursue, you must focus on them and find ways to achieve them. In this process, you need to identify a comfortable state for yourself, free from external disturbances. Determine which problems and matters you can ignore and which ones you care about. Understand your goals and abilities in various aspects, and approach problems and other people with a diverse mindset and perspective. Look for shining points and places worthy of learning from others. Try to reduce your focus on others' shortcomings, and you will also reduce your own self-inflicted worries. I hope you can adjust yourself well. Be confident, independent, decisive, and love life, embracing it fully.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hope you continue to enjoy reading, as it is an excellent habit. Reading extensively will bring the books to life, and you will definitely have a good mood and your own unique temperament. Analyze the \"distance\" between you and your classmates: \u25c6 You like reading, and you can surely see that most of your classmates around you don't like reading. Some high school students who liked reading in high school don't like it anymore in college. College offers too many temptations, more food, drinks, and recreational activities compared to high school. In high school, there are fewer things to do, so reading becomes the only pastime. But in college, it's different. There are more ways to relax, so reading is no longer a priority. You can say that in college, those who continue to read are doing it out of passion. \u25c6 While you read, your classmates may prefer playing games, watching anime, and other otaku-related activities. Because you have different interests, the intersection between each other is reduced and the things you can communicate about are also few. You don't understand what your classmates like, and your classmates don't understand what you like. \u25c6 I hope you don't see yourself as superior, there's no need to. It's not that continuing to read and enriching oneself in college is the only thing worth being proud of. Others in college may excel in playing games, have extensive knowledge of anime, and keep up with current events... These are also things worth being proud of. Reading is not the only option and not necessarily the best one. Your choice is just what you like, everything is based on \"what I like is good enough\". \u25c6 On the other hand, by isolating yourself from your classmates, you easily make yourself feel isolated. You are just one person while your classmates are a group of people. Ask yourself if you can bear being isolated. Actually, people with different personalities and interests can coexist peacefully. You can do your thing, and I can do mine. Have a conversation, have a meal together, there's no problem. Being considerate of others is also being good to yourself. I hope you think about it carefully. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you seem to have a lot of superiority in your question, which will motivate you to study harder, and having a sense of superiority will also make you more confident. These are things that young people go through. Young and reckless, enjoy it. At the same time, I am glad that you can realize these things, and you are not indulging in your sense of superiority. You hope to find answers and grow more. I am happy for you. Reading more is definitely good. The internal conflicts you have are caused by conflicting thoughts from others, not by reading too much. They don't want to take that blame. I don't know if the books you read are integrated into your life. Learning that 1+1 equals 2 is like learning that one apple plus one apple equals two apples, while one apple plus one pear equals two fruits. They may look similar but are different. The former is an abstract concept or a general truth, while the latter is the real knowledge and skills that help in life. What is the true meaning of the former if it doesn't take root anywhere, just like castles in the air? Children study hard for what? Ultimately, it's to return to life. Of course, maybe those people you look down upon don't have more insights in life, or they just haven't learned, or they don't need it. Learning something and using it well is what truly becomes one's own. Otherwise, why spend so much time learning something that everyone can easily find with a quick internet search on their phone? The cost-effectiveness is too low. I hope these fragmented answers have been helpful to you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, my friend. It is a great pleasure to meet you on this platform. I hope my words can bring you sunshine and warm your heart. It's very good that you enjoy reading because in this commercialized society, many people are eager for quick success and instant benefits, and they don't have time to calm down and read. Just for this reason, I'll give you a thumbs up and applause. However, you mentioned that after reading, you find the people around you \"very vulgar and childish.\" This indicates that you have gained a lot from those books, and unconsciously you start to demand others to meet the standards in the books, and even want to \"change\" others with it. This is also a \"good\" thing about you towards others, and this should be affirmed! However, there are only three things in this world - one's own affairs, others' affairs, and the affairs of the heavens. You like reading and what you have gained from these books is your own affair. Whether others are \"vulgar\" or \"childish\" and whether they are willing to change is their own affair! Judging others based on your own perspective is interfering with \"others' affairs\"! This is a form of overstepping boundaries! So, now you only need to do two things: 1. Take care of your own affairs and don't meddle in other people's affairs! People only want to change themselves, they don't like being changed by others! 2. Read. If one can't get in, they are a \"tramp\"; if one can't get out, they are a \"prisoner\". In regards to reading, it's important to be able to enter and also to exit! It is better to have no book at all than to blindly believe in books. Try to \"step out\" of it! I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have had similar situations where I didn't feel a connection with others, but it wasn't during my time in school. During that time, because my classmates were also studying together, there wasn't much of a barrier between us. Instead, it was after I started working, when my colleagues were mostly workers with lower cultural levels. That's when what you described happened, where it was difficult to connect and have meaningful conversations, feeling like a waste of time. However, for someone like you, who has also experienced not being able to relate well with classmates in college, with interests diverging too much from your own, I recommend reflecting on your professional interests and future life planning.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15823
       },
       {
        "question": "Married for 3 years, I feel like I'm the only one making an effort. How can this marriage continue?",
        "description": "Married for 3 years, our daily life is generally good, but there is no intimacy between us. It is basically a sexless marriage, and sometimes he even avoids me when I try to get close to him. I have tried to communicate and express my desire for him to share his thoughts, but he always chooses to remain silent, and in the end, we part ways without happiness. If it's my fault, I'm willing to change, and if it's a physical issue, he can see a doctor. I have always believed that life is about two people working together and making efforts, but now I feel like I'm the only one trying while he locks himself in his own world. I have thought about giving up, but at the same time, I feel reluctant and unwilling because it hasn't been easy for us to come together. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management, concept of childbirth, sexual life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! 1. Seeing your question, I feel very sorry for you and I can also understand your helplessness and confusion in this situation. The relationship between husband and wife is a typical intimate relationship, but it seems that there is no intimacy, which is really sad. I believe it must be very difficult for you to be caught in this situation. 2. Facing such a difficult problem, it's great that you can take the initiative to communicate, seek help, and think positively. It shows that you are very responsible and serious about yourself and your family. I believe that regardless of how your marriage develops, this attitude towards life will help you find your own life. 3. From the description you gave about your husband, maybe he has some hidden concerns in terms of sexuality. This may be related to his physical condition, family background, or past experiences. For him, the best solution is to seek help from a professional doctor or psychotherapist. You are his closest and most intimate partner, so what you can do is to give him enough support and a sense of security. Maybe he will gradually open up to you about his troubles and burdens. 4. As a psychotherapist, if you were my client, perhaps I would discuss more with you about how your husband's behavior makes you feel and any similar experiences you have had. Perhaps we can find the limitations of our own beliefs. When we understand what happened to you from a multi-dimensional perspective, maybe you will be able to understand and accept yourself more, and then your goals for your marriage will become clearer. 5. You mentioned that your daily life is still fine. Can you think about what specific aspects are good? Can you give your husband more affirmation and encouragement in these aspects, and enhance the intensity of these things in your married life, creating more sweetness that belongs to the two of you? These can all be considered as \"foreplay\" for your sex life. Over time, I believe you will have more wonderful experiences. This is my answer, I hope it helps you. Lingting Counselling, listening to you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4378
       },
       {
        "question": "Hiding my actual age and being in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year, I feel so embarrassed about myself.",
        "description": "My actual age is seven years older than my boyfriend, but I only lied to him about being one year older. However, he saw my passport and felt really ashamed. I don't know what to do. I want to die to escape and find relief. What should I do? I feel disgusted and embarrassed about hiding my age!",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The past experiences mentioned by the original poster have had a certain impact on their current emotional state. Therefore, the concerns about marriage and the lack of trust in their boyfriend are reasonable and, as the original poster mentioned, may be a form of avoidance. Age will not be an obstacle to love, but deceit will be. Therefore, the original poster should communicate reasonably. In addition, doubts about the other person and the relationship often stem from a lack of security, an inability to fully trust the other person's sincerity, and an inability to fully trust one's own ability to choose a partner. It is not advisable to maintain a doubtful attitude in a relationship. The following suggestions are recommended: Communication and dialogue are worthwhile methods to try. The original poster may be open about their feelings and doubts with their boyfriend. Of course, if the boyfriend is not willing to fight for the relationship and does not want to give up, it is best for the original poster to apologize to the boyfriend afterwards. This doubt is something that originated from themselves. The original poster doesn't want to doubt whether they can have a long-lasting relationship with the boyfriend or fear that the boyfriend will dislike their age. The boyfriend will show understanding, and in the future, the original poster should strengthen communication when doubts arise. This may help the original poster feel more secure about this relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Is concealing your age because you want to maintain this relationship and prevent it from being disturbed or influenced by the age difference? If that's the case, although lying is not good, it can be understood. But this matter makes you feel ashamed and even leads to extreme thoughts. It seems like it would be helpful to talk to a counselor about this, maybe it can help you better understand yourself and thus face the world around you better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20005
       },
       {
        "question": "What should a therapist call a visitor who wants to hug them, and how should they handle it?",
        "description": "How do you address visitors as a counselor? If someone expresses a desire to hug you, how would you respond? Would you discuss it or give them a hug? As a visitor, how do you address your counselor? How do you like to be addressed by your counselor? Would you secretly give your counselor a nickname? Speaking as a visitor, I would like to share my personal opinion. Both of the counselors I have seen before referred to themselves as \"teacher\" and they were both online counselors who asked me how I would like to be addressed. One counselor compared to the other often used \"you\" and in the two sessions I had with her, I didn't feel she was very professional. She often lectured me and relentlessly asked about my childhood, which \"forced\" me to recall many painful memories that had been forgotten. It felt a bit too rushed, so I didn't continue with her. The other counselor, however, felt like a good match and was quite professional. But it can be a bit uncomfortable, that kind of heart-wrenching feeling where there is warmth and pain. I feel respected in our conversations and that we are equals. Personally, I don't care about the address we use for each other, it's just a code name. Calling her \"teacher\" doesn't mean she is self-centered, and calling her that doesn't mean I see her as an authority figure, it's just an analysis based on a title, which could be seen as a form of violence. I hope you can help me answer this, teachers.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Although many times, calling someone by a certain name is just a code, but this code can also have different meanings. Just as an example, I have been active in the Q&A area for over a year, and sometimes people call me Teacher Xiaofan. However, personally, I prefer being called Xiaofan Guoguo or Xiaofan the Scum. The same words can have different meanings in different people's minds. For me, Teacher implies having certain achievements in a specific area. Maybe it's because of strict upbringing, so I always have a certain fear of teachers, and there is always a bit of restraint when talking to them. Guoguo and the Scum are internet slang. Since most of the people using online counseling are experienced internet users, they are more accepting of new things. Fun nicknames can create a lively atmosphere during our communication, making it less formal. However, different people have different needs, so when interacting with visitors, we can actively ask them which title they prefer, which can help us to build closer relationships and make them feel valued. As for the request of a hug from a visitor, it depends on the individual. If the visitor is emotionally excited and happens to be of the same gender, we can give them a simple hug to reassure them and let them know that they can take their time to speak up. If the visitor is highly dependent and happens to be of the opposite sex, we need to learn to set boundaries and can discuss with them the feelings a hug can bring. If the therapy is going well, we can reward them with a simple hug, helping them gradually become more independent. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Regarding names: Many parents have consulted me about this. I haven't paid much attention to how I should be addressed. Maybe it's because I am very approachable, haha! People of similar age call each other \"dear\". Younger people call me \"sister\", and I call older people \"sister\". Some people call me Teacher Wang. The name doesn't matter, the most important thing is the attitude of the person seeking advice, whether they are sincere and genuinely want to solve the problem, and it's okay to not answer irrelevant questions. \nRegarding hugs: In fact, the majority of people have intimacy issues and don't like physical contact with others. If someone wants a hug, it's not a problem! If it's a lady, a longer hug is also possible. Once, a sister hugged me and cried for over half an hour. By that time, we had known each other for six months and had become friends. When I go to class, every classmate hugs each other when they meet, and also when saying goodbye. The purpose is to break down the barrier of intimacy, and it's very effective.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. As you mentioned, addressing each other is like using a code name. In the counseling room, it is important to find a way to address each other that both parties feel comfortable with, while also considering the setting of the counseling room. For example, you can address the counselor as \"teacher\" or simply by their name or nickname, but using certain relational pronouns like \"brother/sister\" might not be appropriate. As for a visitor expressing a desire to hug, the counselor should respond according to the visitor's motives behind wanting to hug. Of course, this can be clarified and understood through communication with the visitor to determine how best to respond.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I previously discussed this issue with a teacher and came to the conclusion that it would be helpful to ask the visitor how they would like to be addressed. As the original poster mentioned, the name we call someone is just a symbol, and as long as it doesn't hinder regular communication, any name can be used. However, asking the visitor's preference in advance can make them feel cared for and can help establish a closer connection from the beginning.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21664
       },
       {
        "question": "The contradiction has been repeated many times, and I really don't know what I'm doing?",
        "description": "I want to pursue higher education, but in terms of this matter, I keep getting stuck in the same place, unable to move forward or to take action. I am very afraid of certain things, such as not having enough time or the fear that time and money spent won't bring any returns or success. Maybe if I tried more times, but I don't have money. I want to work, but I am worried about spending more money, so I can't move forward and can't go backward. I can only keep going in this cycle of contradiction. This contradiction has been repeating for a long time. I don't know what to do about myself and the people around me. I also can't control it.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, avoidance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, careful consideration is a good quality, but indecisiveness is torturous. All choices in reality come with certain risks and costs. From your description, it can be seen that you are wavering at the crossroads between furthering your education and finding a job, and you have been contemplating for a long time, but still can't make a decision. You feel very conflicted and trapped in this choice, unable to extricate yourself. Escaping and procrastinating will only make you more miserable and helpless. Analyze the pros and cons of both options seriously and rationally, rather than just focusing on their downsides and risks. There are no life choices that do not require time or money. Consider which of these two options you are more willing to \"invest\" in. Furthering your education may give you better job opportunities, better treatment, and higher pay, while starting to work directly will accumulate certain experience, financial gains, and personal and professional development. Alternatively, you can use the \"regret test\" to help you make a determination. Imagine your future life and look back at the decision you made today. Which one will you regret more for not having tried or worked hard for? Can it be made up for in the future? What will be the cost and price of making a choice then? Avoid the \"camel effect\" and make a decision as soon as possible after careful consideration to avoid exhausting your willpower and action. When faced with two piles of equally tempting grass, a camel hesitates and doesn't know which pile to eat, and in the end, it starves while hesitating. Many times our hesitations stem from the high cost of choice or the lack of confidence in the future outcome, but these things will only be known after we have made the choice. Stop hesitating and make a decisive choice, analyzing the possible costs in terms of time, money, and other aspects, and be prepared for them. Choosing the right path is just the beginning; what's more important is to persevere on the chosen path. If we hesitate for so long at the beginning, many competitors may already have chosen a path and gone far ahead. Do not fear making the wrong choice; what you should truly worry about is not having the ability to deal with mistakes. Not all paths are shortcuts, and regardless of which path you choose, it may be extremely difficult and challenging. Prepare yourself to endure hardships and cultivate the courage to face difficulties. Do not evade or shrink back; move forward instead. Moving forward is always better than staying in one place. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19738
       },
       {
        "question": "What to do if a 15-year-old has autism? Lack of emotions and emotions?",
        "description": "In social situations, there is a fear of socializing and avoiding eye contact. The gaze appears dull and unable to comprehend the content of others' conversations. There is a reluctance to engage with others and it feels strange to interact and unable to speak. There is a lack of willingness to participate in activities, being socially withdrawn, and experiencing a lack of emotions and mood. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, character improvement, self-growth, student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The title mentioned that the individual has autism, was this condition diagnosed in a hospital? The individual mentioned experiencing social anxiety and fear eye contact. They have a vacant gaze and struggle to pay attention to others' conversations. They avoid contact with others and find it strange to interact and struggle to speak. They are unwilling to participate in activities, are very reclusive, and lack emotions and emotions. What should they do? At the age of 15, you should still be in school. Are these conditions you mentioned long-term or occasional? From the description, it can be seen that the individual fears social interactions and avoids interpersonal relationships. You should carefully think about whether this is because you are afraid of being rejected, looked down upon, or having your weaknesses exposed by others. Perhaps subconsciously, you have made the decision to avoid any contact with others so as to not get hurt. This mindset is detrimental. We must understand that the past experiences of not being liked by others only affect us because we allow it to dictate our behavior today. We can start changing from the smallest details in the present, by proactively being kind to others, showing goodwill, and even just a simple smile! The gentler our tone, the more likely it will be met with kindness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16028
       },
       {
        "question": "Sometimes when I recall many past unpleasant things, how can I come out of the abyss of darkness?",
        "description": "Again and again filled with hope, again and again plunged into despair. On and on it goes. I am afraid, I avoid, I want to escape. Time and time again I tell myself not to be afraid, tell myself it's not as bad as I imagine, but soon I fall into self-doubt, self-denial, and think that it's better to give up (often have this kind of thought). Clearly, I know I should be hopeful, but still unable to... I don't like to communicate with others, I am afraid of communicating with others, I don't know how to get along with others, to communicate. I am very sensitive, even to details that others may not pay attention to, I will think about for a long time. I am afraid that my inattentive words or actions might hurt others. Maybe I just overthink too much. Sometimes I would recall many unpleasant things from the past. Every time I am in pain and on the verge of collapse, I feel suffocated and just want to shut myself away. I don't like being with people, I dislike crowded places. I don't know what I like, I am not clear... Sometimes it seems like I don't want to have any emotions at all. I don't even want to feel pain, sadness, or despair. I wish I could have no emotions at all, so I wouldn't be in so much pain.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, depressed mood, expressing emotions, panic helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend: Seeing your words, I feel that you must have had many unhappy things in the past that made it difficult for you to live in the present and not feel hopeful for the future. Everyone has a sad past, hug. Because there have been too many negative things in the past, your subconscious mind is filled with despair, disappointment, and pain. When similar things happen again, the worst result will come to mind. You have forgotten that there are other possibilities in life. In addition, your psychological habit is to blame yourself when encountering negative things, so you will question yourself. Maybe you can't distinguish between what is your responsibility and what is just a worry. Breaking this vicious cycle is possible, but it requires your cooperation: [First], say goodbye to the past. I know you have had many painful experiences in the past, and perhaps some are your responsibility and some are not. What belongs to your boundaries is your responsibility, but others' opinions, thoughts, and behaviors towards you are their responsibility. Don't step into other people's boundaries, nor do you need others to approve or recognize you. Because you can affirm yourself. [Second], regain yourself. If you always doubt yourself when something happens, it's because you really think you are not good enough. 1. Find your essence. You need to know that human value is not defined by external factors, but by human nature. No matter what happens to you, you are valuable, you are worthy of love. You are originally pure, bright, complete, precious, unique, and irreplaceable. You are perfect and good enough because you are the miraculous child of the universe. You are the source of affirmation, and you are the center of happiness. The past events made you unhappy, please don't be easily assimilated. Encountering unhappy things does not mean that you have to be controlled by these things for the rest of your life. You are you, and things are things. 2. Focus on your strengths. To get rid of doubt, you need to get to know yourself again. Start understanding yourself, especially your strengths. Redefine yourself. [Third], focus on happiness. You can't change the past, but happy things will also cheer you up. As long as you are willing to pay attention, there are many things that can make people happy and warm. Maybe our circle is too small, thinking that the world is so cold and dark, but in fact, it is more beautiful than we imagine. It's just that we are often assimilated by negativity, which inadvertently makes us focus on the negative. [Fourth], see the positive meaning it brings. After experiencing darkness and pain, the next time you encounter such things, you will have the experience to deal with them. We come to Earth to learn all kinds of things, and growth is an inevitable lesson. With your experience, you will have confidence and wisdom in the future. This will also increase your empathy, and you will understand people who are also living in pain. You will become a person with love. No one and nothing can control you. Maybe it will make you unhappy in the moment, but it absolutely cannot control you. Focus on happiness, and you will be much happier!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know what things the questioner thinks are bad about themselves, but I know that you won't say it because the things you want to keep secret will bring you more pain. I can understand that those bad things may bring you insecurity and make you avoid facing them. You said that you are filled with hope time and time again, but also filled with despair time and time again. It's a cycle. You are afraid, you avoid, and you want to escape. You keep telling yourself not to be afraid, not to be as you imagine, but soon you will fall back into self-doubt and self-denial, thinking that it's better to give up altogether (I often have this thought). Even though you know you should be hopeful, you still can't...I can understand that feeling of hope and despair repeating time and time again. When you choose a goal that you are incapable of achieving, you will feel a sense of loss, which can be called inferiority. Inferiority is self-denial, lack of confidence in oneself, and a psychological expression of not identifying with oneself. From the description, it can be seen that you have an inferiority complex. Once someone forms an inferiority complex, they often become timid in social interactions and isolate themselves. They can't see the brilliance and hope in life, can't appreciate the joy of living, and don't dare to envision a better tomorrow. What should you do? I don't know what you have hope in but also despair about. If you consider this experience as an attempt and failure, then okay, you have failed now and you have two options. The first option is a pattern called try-fail-give up. The other pattern is try-fail-try again. Which one do you choose? I suggest you choose try again. Why? Because you can go back to the origin of our life. How does a child learn to walk? If a child falls while trying to walk and says, \"I will never walk again,\" then it is impossible for them to learn to walk. It's because a child walks, falls, walks again, falls again, and slowly learns to walk. But as we grow up, our common pattern is \"I failed, I will never try again.\" This is unacceptable. So if you allow yourself to fail, make mistakes, and accept that you are not perfect, once you accept that, you will come out of that abyss of darkness.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! According to your description, I can truly sense your pain and I really want to help you. Here are my suggestions. First, start by accepting your emotions. It's normal for all of us to have low moods and the desire to avoid social interactions. It's just that your low mood may last a bit longer, and that's okay. Don't pressure yourself too much, just accept it. The most effective way to combat negative emotions is not to tell yourself to \"cheer up\", but to genuinely find ways to resolve them. Second, emotions are a response to objective events and our relationship with ourselves, based on our desires and needs. Are you eager to break free from these negative emotions? Do you long to regain happiness, hope, and joy? I have also been trapped in depressive emotions, and it took me a lot of struggle to finally see the bright sunshine. Take it step by step, don't rush yourself. Sometimes, by not being in a hurry, you'll find that the pressure eases. Third, try therapeutic writing. You have many suppressed and negative things in your mind that continue to harm you. You can write down whatever comes to mind, just write freely. This writing process is a form of healing. Once you've written it down, it will have a relieving effect on your stress and emotions. Fourth, try to focus more on the outside world. Only a few people can proactively step out of their own whirlpool, because it is a difficult psychological struggle to shift your focus from yourself to the people and things around you. Rest assured, confidently speak and act, because no one is that concerned. Sensitivity is often our own imagination. Take it step by step, find your own way to love yourself. Don't force yourself, for example, at the moment, you may not know what you like. When you occasionally think of something you like, try to engage in that activity a little. It's commendable that you are aware of your feelings of sadness and avoidance, and that you know how to seek help. If possible, you can try seeking help from a mental health counselor. Lastly, I deeply wish you the strength to emerge from the darkness and embrace the light.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend, hello! I just saw your description and I don't know how you are doing now. Do you still feel like you're in a deep abyss? I feel like you were in a low state at that time. If this state continues to affect you, I sincerely recommend that you seek professional psychological help in a timely manner, so that professionals can help you get through this difficult time. You mentioned that you have had hopeful moments followed by moments of despair, what processes have you gone through? I sense that you have been trying hard. But could this disparity between hope and despair be related to your high expectations or unrealistic hopes for yourself? Sometimes we need to see more of our own efforts. Seeing ourselves making efforts is our wealth, it is the place where we deserve self-recognition. Enjoy the process of pursuit, enjoy the process of doing. That's when you truly feel your existence. You said you don't like to communicate with others because you're afraid of hurting them with inappropriate words or actions, is that right? If so, I want to say that this way of thinking is projection. Of course, there are situations where our inappropriate words or actions can hurt others, but not everyone is as fragile or easily hurt as we imagine. On the contrary, the more we think this way, the more we are afraid of being hurt ourselves. So, is it actually because you're afraid of being hurt that you don't dare to communicate and interact with others more? In this regard, I want you to know that a blade is only sharp when it's sharpened, and people also need training and immunity. Other people's inappropriate words and actions are just a negative example for us to avoid. As long as you don't feel it's hurtful, then it's not hurtful. Do you agree? I'm not sure what you consider to be bad things in your mind. I sincerely hope that you can have more detailed communication with a professional whom you trust. Perhaps you can sort out the things you consider to be bad, and realize that they are not as bad as you think. At the same time, gain a new understanding of the chaotic and painful emotions you feel. I wish you to dispel the clouds and see the sunshine again soon!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confession, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1 Your symptoms are somewhat similar to schizophrenia. However, the main manifestations of schizophrenia are delusions and hallucinations. Nonetheless, you should also be cautious and take preventive measures. Nip the problem in the bud. 2 If schizophrenia can be compared to college, then mental health issues are like primary school. Nurturing a disease is like raising a tiger, when the tiger grows big, it will surely harm people. Small illnesses should not be left untreated, as big illnesses are difficult to cure. Just like psychologists, they also have their own worries. The difference is that they resolve their worries in advance, which is why they appear worry-free. 3 The law is impermanent, doctrines are impermanent, water has no constant state, the great Tao is natural. We humans have defense mechanisms that can help resist the invasion of illness, including mental disorders. The best way to activate these mechanisms is to go with the flow. Do whatever you feel like doing, and if you don't feel like doing something, then don't do it. As long as you don't harm others, it's all good. Thank you for your question, and may all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8878
       },
       {
        "question": "Getting married soon, feeling a lot of pressure and having difficulty fitting into other people's families.",
        "description": "Just feel that the personality is not compatible with the parents, there is no common language to live together. I am more lively, and his parents are more introverted. There are always some conflicts between him and me. We initially agreed not to get married and informed each other's parents. Later, we still decided to get married, but I always feel unhappy.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, concept of marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Marriage is a matter involving two families, but the relationship between the husband and wife is crucial. If the husband can be on the same side as the questioner, clearly establish boundaries between the new nuclear family and his parents' extended family, and show understanding when the questioner expresses disagreement with his parents instead of constantly demanding that the questioner \"understand them, as they are this way, just tolerate it\", then the conflicts between the couple can be gradually resolved and communicated between them. However, if the husband involves these conflicts within the extended family and interferes with the parents, prioritizing the interests of the nuclear family after the extended family, such a life is destined to be chaotic. In fact, there is really no need to interact with in-laws in the same way as with one's own parents because after all, they have been strangers for more than twenty years, with completely different personalities and lifestyles. Everyone comes together for the same reason (\"love for the husband\"), and this reason even leads to the \"struggle\" between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law, posing a huge challenge to the relationship. Therefore, if everyone, for this same reason, allows the person they love to live a relaxed and happy life and maintains a mindset of \"agree to disagree\", then they can peacefully coexist. Disappointment and conflicts often stem from our overly high and unreasonable expectations. Adjusting our expectations to a reasonable level, we might find that things are actually quite simple.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Marriage is like a mixed gift, containing things you like and things you don't. But they come together as a comprehensive gift in front of you. Marriage involves two people, and even their parents, as well as the combination of their respective family and ancestral cultures. When we enter into marriage, we also step into the culture of the other person's family. Of course, the core is the couple themselves, two people who love each other, supporting a new family. As long as your relationship is strong enough, you will be more flexible in dealing with issues related to other surrounding families and can overcome them through communication and effort. Your lively personality is your strength. Despite hurdles, the two of you have decided to get married, which means that you still have feelings for each other. So cherish it as you go and learn to face and solve problems. Happiness is a subjective feeling, and we can make ourselves happier.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20109
       },
       {
        "question": "18-year-old girl, extremely sensitive, lacks a sense of security, has interpersonal difficulties.",
        "description": "18-year-old female. My inner self is extremely sensitive. I am used to pretending to be strong and unconsciously imitating others to hide my true self in order to seek self-protection. I am not good at socializing and find it difficult to trust and rely on others from the bottom of my heart, always feeling that I will be abandoned. The state of being alone started in middle school (after my best friend transferred schools). At first, I used studying to cover up my feelings of loss and being friendless. Later, everyone formed the impression that I was a bookworm, thinking that I was naturally quiet and introverted. (I was a popular child in primary school). In high school, I rarely take the initiative to socialize with people, only responding when others approach me. On the one hand, I long to socialize with people, but on the other hand, I feel that this or that aspect of myself is not good enough, constantly thinking that others will not like me. I believe that someone like me cannot attain true friendship, so my interactions with others always remain superficial. There are people who genuinely want to be friends with me, but my reservation and lack of initiative repeatedly deter them. Honestly, I often envy groups of friends. As the college entrance examination ended, I gradually developed an affection for solitude. I do not feel the joy of socializing, I only see it as a necessity, like eating and drinking. Socializing, to me, feels more like a formality. Every social interaction is painful, but I am also afraid of not being able to adapt to society. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, friends, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Actually, from your words, I can tell that you don't really not want to make friends or socialize. The reason you are unwilling to socialize is because you don't want others to see your flaws and imperfections. The less you socialize, the more afraid you become of socializing. Deep down, you have a vague desire for social interaction, but your self-doubt and habitual loneliness make you repel socializing. Now, your heart must be conflicted and confused. Hugs to you, I really understand how you feel. Don't worry, hopefully the following words can help you. Question 1: Regarding your lack of self-confidence, when others want to get close to you, you feel that you are not good enough in this aspect or that aspect. You think others won't like you, that someone like you won't get friendship. When you were in elementary school, you were a popular kid, but later on, you became accustomed to being alone. Before answering your question, I hope you can ask yourself the following three questions. (1) Are you really not good enough? Are others definitely not going to like you? If you have absolutely no strengths, then why would others want to get close to you? OP, no one will voluntarily approach someone they dislike. When someone approaches you, it's because they see something in you that they find attractive or intriguing. In fact, when others approach you, it's because they want to be friends with you, because you are worth starting this friendship with. Besides, nobody is perfect. We like someone and want to be friends with them not because they are perfect or without flaws, but because our personalities and interests align and we are mutually attracted to one another. Your belief that you are not good enough is actually an erroneous cognition that is influencing you. (2) Engaging with others superficially and fearing their departure when getting close. You mentioned that you engage with others superficially and then stop there. I think this has to do with your best friend transferring schools during middle school. You are a sensitive person, and it made you cautious in subsequent interpersonal relationships when a friend you genuinely bonded with left due to external circumstances. You fear that no matter how much you invest in a friendship, it will ultimately result in separation. You worry that the friendship won't last. Rather than experiencing loss after gaining something, it's better to not start at all, right? In our life journey, we will meet many people, and we will also part ways with many people. The passage of time, changes in our environment, including the transfer you mentioned, can lead to someone's departure. First of all, the separation from your friend in middle school was not caused by your actions but by objective reasons. So why should you shoulder the blame for someone else's departure? Friendship is also a matter of fate. Even if a close friend leaves later on, those memories will still be cherished. By rejecting all possibilities from the start, you won't experience the pain of loss, but you also won't experience the happiness that friendship brings. Moreover, with the development of technology, we grow up and have more tools to maintain connections. Perhaps when we were young, we didn't have phones to stay in touch, resulting in the loss of a friend when transferring schools. But now? You are an adult, capable of maintaining friendships, and these relationships will no longer disappear just because you change cities or schools. Question 2: Social anxiety caused by prolonged solitude. Currently, you have social anxiety. Social anxiety doesn't develop overnight, so before deciding to change, I also hope you can give yourself some time. The first time, when someone talks to you, respond actively, give yourself positive mental affirmations, try to replace old erroneous cognitions with new ones; the second time, try to initiate conversations with others, talk about topics both of you enjoy; the third time, try to engage in social activities with others, like watching movies, going shopping, etc... Start with small things, and when you accomplish each small task, your self-affirmation will be the greatest, and your self-confidence will also be greatly enhanced. Lastly, I want to say to you that it is very important to change your cognition before changing your behavior. Once your cognition changes and you start doing these small things, you will experience the joy of socializing and boost your self-confidence. You deserve to have friendships and also deserve to experience more happiness. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your question, I want to give you a virtual hug. It seems that your inner sensitivity and insecurity have led you to build a protective shield that makes you appear strong, but also keeps you closed off. The fear of being abandoned makes you reluctant to open up and truly connect with others. First of all, please believe that you are loved and deserving of all the good things in life. Love yourself. I have a few suggestions that I hope can help you. Adjust your mindset and build self-confidence: Recognize your own worth and avoid feeling inferior or weak. Each of us is unique and has our own strengths. Don't compare your weaknesses to other people's strengths and deny your own value. Encourage and affirm yourself, and practice positive self-talk to gradually build self-confidence. Open your heart and make peace with yourself: Your fear of being abandoned causes you to close yourself off and not give others a chance to get close to you. Take a brave step forward and open up your heart. You will discover that you have friends who care about and appreciate you. Give each other a chance and start an intimate relationship. Rather than outright rejecting connections, get to know people and make choices based on understanding. Proactively communicate with others: Good communication helps us understand each other and strengthens our relationships. Develop your own interests and hobbies: Cultivating personal interests and hobbies can make your life more interesting and help you find self-worth, giving you motivation. Shared hobbies can also help you find like-minded friends. Learn to be alone: While we all need friends, we also need to be able to enjoy our own company. Reading and thinking more can enrich our inner selves. When we have a strong inner self, we can bravely face anything. Whatever lifestyle you choose, remember to make yourself happier! I am your personal mental health counselor. May my words bring warmth to you! I also appreciate it when friends drop by and read this. Feel free to follow me. Don't forget to click \"Helpful\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, hello! I carefully read your question and can sense your distress between the lines. I want to give you a strong embrace and hope that my answer can help you. Your concern is that you want to make friends but are afraid that people won't like you, so you hesitate to approach them. In reality, you lack self-confidence. How do you know that people don't like you if you never try? How can you change the current situation? Change your perception. You're afraid to make friends because you think people won't like you. This perception has always been in your mind. Ask yourself why people don't like you. But in reality, people don't dislike you. It's just your own feeling. You need to remove this idea from your mind and change your perception of the situation. You can learn how to communicate with others by reading books on social skills or learn from people around you who are skilled at socializing. Be bold and try. Because you always appear very quiet, others may think you prefer to be alone and are hesitant to approach you. You can take the initiative to make friends with others, have conversations, go out together, and genuinely treat them with sincerity. You will definitely make sincere friends who will treat you sincerely. I hope you can overcome your concerns soon! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's really easy to relate to when I read this. I've also envied others for having many friends and being socially adept, able to navigate various situations with ease. Meanwhile, I struggle with talking and making new friends. In gatherings with more than three people, I find myself burying my head in my phone, disguising the fact that I don't know how to handle myself in such situations. But in reality, not everyone is naturally good at socializing. Some people may have many friends and confidants, while others may have many friends but no confidants. Some may have few friends but one or two confidants, while others may have few friends and no confidants. It all varies from person to person and not everyone can achieve having many friends with confidants. Ultimately, it comes down to personality. Assuming our personality remains unchanged (which is mostly the case), it's best to first accept ourselves. Currently, I can't manage to have a good rapport with most people and maintain those relationships. Secondly, we should strive to improve ourselves. Having many friends isn't necessary, but having a confidant is something everyone needs in terms of emotional fulfillment. Let's not focus on making a lot of friends right now, but rather start with the people around us. It could be roommates, classmates, or even our parents. Be a little kinder and more proactive towards them, express your care, accept their care, express your emotional needs, and accept theirs. This includes, but is not limited to venting, seeking help, and engaging in activities together. When we have a confidant, we can learn how to interact with different people. At that point, it will become easier to maintain acquaintances, make new friends, and keep in touch with old friends. In the case of a major change in personality, I hope it will be beneficial to your life and survival, and then we'll see how things turn out.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: First of all, I want to tell you that enjoying solitude can be quite a good thing. Being alone brings its own happiness, just as being with a group of people brings theirs. You don't have to worry about not being good at socializing. When you have to interact with others, you can try to slowly open up your heart, be genuine, and show your true self. It may be difficult for you at first, but you will gradually get used to it and learn some tips for dealing with others. Also, I want to tell you that two similar small stones will eventually meet. This means that you will definitely meet like-minded good friends. They may not have appeared yet, but they are waiting for you somewhere. I hope you can be happy every day! Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. \"On one hand, I desire to socialize with others, but on the other hand, I feel that there is something wrong with me. The crucial point of this inner conflict lies in the belief that 'others would not like me, someone like me would not obtain friendship.' In the struggle between 'wanting' and 'not deserving,' you habitually choose to 'proactively give up' - hence, you always maintain superficial relationships with others.\"\n2. \"There are people who genuinely want to be friends with me, but they are discouraged by my reservedness and lack of initiative time and time again.\" - This is how you 'actively discourage' others, telling them that you are 'undeserving.'\n3. Whether through 'proactively giving up' or 'actively discouraging,' there are traces of your active choices. You choose to distance yourself from others or make them stay away from you because you feel 'undeserving.'\n4. Therefore, you need to identify the aspects of yourself that are already good and the areas in which you can improve. Then, armed with these 'good' qualities (remember to define what is considered 'good' as a normal person), you can choose a new way of interacting with others.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is very simple. Just buy a book on \"social skills\" and read it, and you may even come up with some methods yourself. You must overcome some difficulties, but I don't think it's a problem for you. You just need a little courage and time management. Once you have new friends, all the problems you have already discovered will naturally be solved as well. Because you are very smart.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3695
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old female, why has she been avoiding social interactions in the past year?",
        "description": "Start to avoid socializing, stay at home, do not go out or communicate, preferring to just stay at home.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, anxiety, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I would like to communicate some thoughts with you. \"Recently, I have been avoiding social interactions.\" I find the expression of this time frame meaningful - it's not that I have been avoiding social interactions all along, but only in the past year. This suggests that it is not a characteristic inherent to my personality. So what was my social state like \"a year ago\", and how has it changed compared to now? There must have been something that happened at that time point \"a year ago\" that led to a change in my social state. You can try to \"search forward\" from a year ago to the present, or \"search backward\" from the present to a year ago, relying on your first instincts to find that special event. \"Not going out, not contacting anyone\" corresponds to \"used to be in contact\". So what do those people that I used to be in contact with mean to me? Where are they now? Since when did we stop contacting each other? Did something bad happen? You need to find the answers yourself. \"Willing to stay at home\" can be done in many ways, such as lying in bed all day watching dramas, scrolling through Weibo, playing games, studying, and so on. What is your current state while staying at home? Are you satisfied with your current state? If you are, then you don't need to worry about your social state. Maybe you just haven't met someone you want to contact or discovered a place you want to go outside. If you are not satisfied, then you need to first understand what kind of life state you want. You can break down your goals into smaller pieces and work on achieving them gradually without forcing yourself to achieve everything at once. Lastly, I want to say that the process of growing up for young people nowadays is becoming increasingly lonely. Physical distance reduces common topics between friends, and we have so many problems to deal with in life that we are too busy to care about some things... Growing up is probably like this, gradually becoming distant and losing touch... We are all experiencing the same journey.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 22,
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           },
           {
            "start": 32,
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           {
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           {
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           },
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           {
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           {
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           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs. From your description, I understand that you have been wanting to avoid social interactions recently. Here's my analysis and advice in hopes of helping you: Today, I came across a saying that roughly means what we try to escape from might be exactly what we fear. I wonder if this saying applies to you? Perhaps it can provide you with a new perspective. We are around the same age, and I have also experienced a similar situation. Whenever this happens to me, I write or go out by myself for a walk, just to see things around me. I find that when I come back, I feel much better. I suggest you try doing the same. #The world and I love you. Take care~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9531
       },
       {
        "question": "Unable to accept work adjustments, always unable to pull oneself back?",
        "description": "Recently, there have been some adjustments in my work, and I just can't accept it. I worry every day that I won't be able to handle the current work arrangement. I have trouble sleeping and feel anxious. I don't know how to overcome the fear in my heart.",
        "keywords": "Career, professional management, work pressure",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the OP~ When faced with new job responsibilities, and the possibility of a new work environment, we all feel anxious and worried. I have also been temporarily reassigned to a completely unfamiliar position, with only two days to transition. I used to be so anxious that when I was on the bus, I hoped it would never stop so that I wouldn't have to face it. Of course, I eventually got off the bus and went to the new job, forcing myself to adapt to the new position and new work. And in the end, I did well. Let me share my feelings: Firstly, you have to believe in your ability to handle the new job arrangements. Think about the work we did before. Didn't we do it well? We went from not knowing to knowing, from being unfamiliar to mastering it. We will gradually become familiar with the new job arrangements, and it might even become our strength. Don't doubt yourself, believe that you can handle the new job arrangements. Secondly, start with the easiest aspects. If the new job arrangements are truly difficult to adapt to, start with the simplest aspects, make progress step by step, and gradually gain mastery. Once you achieve a little, you will start to have confidence in yourself and it will become easier. Thirdly, ask for advice and think more. If you find it difficult to grasp on your own, ask others for help. Sometimes, even after pondering for a long time, we still can't find a solution, but when we ask an experienced person for advice, they can often point us in the right direction and solve the problem. At the end of each day, summarize what you have learned, what problems you have encountered, and what experiences you have gained. I think work is sometimes like a jigsaw puzzle. At the beginning, it's difficult, and we don't know where each piece should go. But gradually, we will figure out where each fragment fits, and once we complete the puzzle, we will handle the work with ease.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12140
       },
       {
        "question": "14, it seems like a lot has happened, and it feels like you want to leave?",
        "description": "Oh, I don't know what's wrong with me. During this holiday, I don't know what happened. My parents got divorced, separated, moved, the company closed down, and we have loans to pay. They ignore the law, curse at me, and take away my hope. Many friends left, and I feel isolated. My grades have plummeted... It seems like so many things have happened. But actually, I didn't really care about all these things. I'm naturally cold. I just feel inexplicably sad, unable to feel happiness. It's like I grew up, like I really want to leave. Cutting my arm, it feels like only when the blood flows out and I feel pain, can I feel that I'm still alive. My heart seems to hurt a lot, like a walking corpse. I don't know what I should do, what I can do. I feel like jumping off a building, really wanting to leave. But I kind of don't want to leave my favorite idol, I still want to see him become popular. But at the same time, I'm very clear-headed and rational about everything. I also know who I am, the gaps, the distance, the problems... I understand that even if I die, he won't know, and it has nothing to do with him being popular. Reading those inspirational quotes only gives me temporary excitement. Watching funny videos, I can laugh too, but after laughing, everything still feels empty. Everything is fake, I'm fake too. How long will I continue to exist in this world? Does my future still exist... I don't know if I have some strange illness, but not telling anyone would cost a lot of money, right.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, trauma therapy, behavioral abnormalities.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this holiday, I suddenly experienced a lot of things: my parents divorce and separate, the company closing down, friends leaving, being isolated by others, and so on. I feel sad and unhappy, but these are normal emotions, right? It seems abnormal if you don't feel sad or upset at all. It's okay, if you feel sad and want to cry, you can let it out. If you have someone you trust, you can talk to them, and if you don't, you can write in a diary. When you express these things, your thoughts and feelings, it seems like a burden is lifted from your shoulders and can make you feel much lighter. Don't hurt yourself, don't cut your arms; the feeling of pain will only temporarily make you feel your existence, but it won't help you solve problems or improve your emotions. It might even trap you in negative emotions. Doing something positive, something you like, something relaxing, something valuable, can better help you feel alive, feel your worth and significance. You have a favorite idol, and I think the greatest meaning of idols is that they provide us with spiritual support, showing us that life can be so wonderful and brilliant, encouraging us to continue striving and working hard, striving to get closer to idols and become excellent people like them. So, no matter who your idol is, accompany them on their journey and strive together, watching them succeed and watching your own life become more colorful. It's okay to have differences and distance. Everyone's starting point, conditions, and opportunities are different. If we can do our best with our current conditions, then at least our efforts and endeavors are on the same level as the idols, not much worse than them. Believe in yourself, you are also amazing! Your future definitely exists and can be wonderful. You must believe in this! Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear asker, hello! Sending you a warm hug! Your favorite celebrity really needs your support! Please do pay attention to them and wait for them to become famous all over the country! I can also support them together with you! Take good care of your body, stay healthy, and maybe we can even meet up once the epidemic is over! We all go through many things that help us grow. I don't know which parent you are currently with, but maybe you could talk to them? Don't worry, don't be afraid, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22105
       },
       {
        "question": "I want to date, but I feel extremely repelled whenever someone approaches me. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am a female, a senior in college, about to graduate. Before I even started college, I would tell people that I wanted to experience campus dating. But now, in the blink of an eye, I'm already in my third year and I still haven't had a romantic relationship. Sometimes, when I see couples together, I feel very envious and long for a sweet romance. Especially when my friends are slowly getting into relationships, this feeling becomes stronger. However, when other guys show interest in me, I start to push them away. I am afraid that if they like me and express a desire to be with me, my mind starts to overthink and I convince myself that we are not compatible. Then, I slowly distance myself from them. But deep down, I still envy others and really want to experience a romantic relationship. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, single, sense of security, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, have you heard of lithromanticism? It refers to a sexual orientation where one develops romantic feelings for someone but does not desire reciprocation. First, ask yourself a few questions: 1) Do you consider being in a romantic relationship necessary for your life? 2) How do you envision \"being in love\"? Is this the kind of love you desire? 3) What is the reason behind your fear of boys liking you? Is it because of the boys themselves or something within you? 4) If it is due to something within you, think about where your fear of intimacy comes from. By answering these questions, you will gain a deeper understanding of your lithromantic tendencies. For instance, you may discover that while you long for an intimate partner, you also have a strong fear of getting hurt in a close relationship, possibly stemming from your upbringing. Lithromanticism is a common sexual orientation, and the most important thing is to first accept and understand yourself. Once you have analyzed the reasons, you can then address them accordingly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Also registered in the Chinese Psychological Association registration system as a registered psychologist, I would like to offer the following insights: The establishment of intimate relationships in adulthood actually tests the solidity and flexibility of our personalities. In other words, it tests whether we are capable of accepting someone into our inner selves while maintaining our independence. From your description, it seems that subconsciously you may feel that being intimate with someone implies losing yourself. In other words, once an intimate relationship is established, you may feel inherently unsafe and distance yourself from romantic relationships in order to protect yourself. The most likely reason for this is past traumatic experiences. Healing from trauma still requires intimate relationships. If you want to avoid the harm that comes from establishing intimate relationships in an unstable state, I suggest starting with professional counseling relationships, focusing on personal growth first, and then gradually establishing high-quality intimate relationships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21656
       },
       {
        "question": "Ask for a friend: What should I do when I have disputes with my parents about money matters?",
        "description": "A close friend of mine recently confided in me that her parents are demanding she give them 1000 yuan from her salary every month, or else they won't let her live at home. The situation now is that she has just started working for 2 months and also needs to pay for her own insurance, meals, transportation, daily necessities, cosmetics, etc. (Her monthly salary is 5000 yuan). She told me her parents keep mentioning how they spent a lot of money on her education abroad and now they want her to \"pay back\" those expenses with her salary. I feel that the main issue now is the communication between her and her parents, but I don't know how to help her.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If there are only two choices, or it's a black or white situation, it seems that what you're describing is a dilemma. But if you adjust your thoughts and perspectives, perhaps the dilemma won't be a dilemma anymore. Ask your friend: 1) First, focus on how your parents are doing? If your family is financially tight because of your studying abroad, or even has debts, it wouldn't be excessive for your friend to pay 1000 yuan after starting work, especially considering the cost of living at home. If the family conditions are good, but parents still demand your friend to pay 1000 yuan for living expenses, and the condition is to move out if they don't pay, I think it's reasonable for parents to ask your friend to take on some basic family responsibilities once they are capable of earning money. What do you think? We might have an ingrained mindset that says, \"I'm the child, you love me, so you should...\" and once it's not that way, we start to doubt if our parents still love us. But that's really overthinking it. When we lack the capability, our parents support us, and that's great. When we have the ability, we should share the family responsibilities. Isn't it normal? How did it become a source of distress? Ask yourself if there are certain ideas that parents should absolutely... in your unhappiness. Remind your friend that when they grow up and become adults and start earning money, they need to gradually embody the attitude of an adult and understand what responsibility means. 2) Your friend mentioned the practical difficulties of just starting work for 2 months. They need to pay for their own insurance, meals, transportation, daily necessities, cosmetics, etc. (their salary is 5000 yuan per month). It might not seem like much, but even if it's not a lot, it's still not a reason to not take responsibility, right? Change roles and mentally prepare yourself for having your own family in the future: taking on responsibilities. You can ask your parents how they managed when they didn't have money, and how they managed to support your friend in completing their education. Being an adult means learning to solve problems rather than shifting blame or avoiding them. 3) When parents talk about repayment, are they really asking your friend to repay? Or are they using it as an excuse to push your friend to grow, save money, and take on responsibilities? A parent's love for their child is the only form of love that guides toward separation. Parents love their children because they hope that one day their child can live independently, and independence brings great happiness. This love is truly profound, and children may not understand until they reach a certain age or gain certain experiences. So you can chat with your friend about what would happen if they're not willing to pay the 1000 yuan and choose to live independently. If there are no issues, they can give it a try. Of course, moving out doesn't mean cutting off contact with parents; it's just to see how they would fare without their parents. Going back to what I said earlier, between moving out and not moving out, there are still many other choices. Ask your friend if they can think of anything else.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for trusting me to answer your question. It is evident that you are a helpful person who cares about your friend. Let's discuss:\n1. Your friend coming out to work means that she is already an adult and an independent individual. At the same time, she is still living at home, and it is reasonable and necessary for her to contribute to the household expenses. This is her part of taking responsibility for the family.\n2. As for whether she can meet her parents' request of 1000 yuan, it depends on the family's situation and her own daily expenses. If she can afford this expense, she may need to reduce other expenditures in her daily life. If she is willing to do so, or if she really cannot afford it, she should communicate and negotiate with her family to see if they would agree to lessen the amount for now and increase it later when her salary increases. Both sides should reach a mutual understanding, so that her parents understand that she is not avoiding her responsibility but is facing actual difficulties.\n3. If her parents accumulated a lot of debt for her to study abroad, she must take on that obligation and repay it together. However, this depends on the specific situation and requires a good negotiation and understanding with her parents about each other's practical needs. I wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello: You described that your friend confided in you about this issue, but you don't know how to help her. Usually, when we encounter problems, we face and deal with them based on our own past experiences and values. If you don't know how to help her, can you not handle it? Your friend has previously received financial support from her family to study abroad. Her family has spent a lot of money for her education abroad, which shows that her parents have put in a lot of effort and money to cultivate her. Now her parents require her to give them money every month. Is it really because her parents love money or because the family is short of money? There is an old saying in China, \"It is not until one has his own children that he truly understands the love of parents.\" What is this love? Anna Quindlen, a bestselling author of The New York Times and a Pulitzer Prize winner, once said, \"There is a kind of love that is meant for separation. In this world, all love is meant for bringing people together, except for one kind of love, which is the love of parents for their children. The true success of parents' love is not keeping their children by their side, but fostering their independence and letting them go.\" This love is about truly making the child independent and becoming themselves. I believe if you can help your friend see and understand this kind of love from her parents, she will naturally know how to handle this matter. Above all, I hope this is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hmm... when I saw this question, honestly, I was taken aback for a moment. Because in my understanding, there shouldn't be parents who are so difficult to tolerate. If the question is asked on behalf of a friend, I suggest you find out more about your friend's family situation to see if it's really as strange as you described. Now, I will respond based on the situation you mentioned. If it is indeed the case, then: 1) Firstly, if a family is able to afford to send their child abroad, the financial situation should not be so difficult that they have to pressure their child for 1,000 yuan. If there have been any changes in the family, shouldn't the child, who has always enjoyed excellent conditions provided by the family, take on the responsibility proactively? Since you have studied abroad, there should be more than one way to make money, right? Even if it's just a salary, spending should be prioritized. If the family is asking you for living expenses, shouldn't you remove luxury items like cosmetics from your budget and opt for a more frugal lifestyle? 2) Secondly, if there haven't been any changes in the family, why would parents, who have always been tolerant, suddenly exert such pressure on their child for 1,000 yuan? As a child, shouldn't you care about whether something is wrong with your parents or if there are any problems in your relationship with them? 3) Lastly, personally, I find it extremely difficult to believe that the situation you described is real life. Hmm?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I guess you must be someone who is really good to their friends. It's truly fortunate to have you as a friend. The question you raised is something that many people may have encountered. So, in your opinion, what could be the reason that your friend's parents insist on having your friend give them 1000 dollars every month? Is it because their family really needs the money, or could there be other reasons behind it? When your friend is feeling relaxed, as a friend, it's easy to want to give her some advice to help her. At the same time, you may also be concerned about how you can help her since \"it's hard for an outsider to understand domestic affairs.\" In situations like this, as a friend, just listening to her vent and providing companionship is already a way to help her. Besides being there for her, you can also share your opinions on the matter based on your judgment and experience, and discuss possible strategies with her. The above is just my personal viewpoint, for your reference only. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4208
       },
       {
        "question": "Do some small actions reflect one's psychological state?",
        "description": "A 10-year-old child picks at the hangnails on their fingernails, resulting in small wounds. From what I understand, this kind of involuntary behavior could be indicative of anxiety, is that correct?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In addition to the possibility of anxiety, the main reason is the dryness and lack of oil in the skin. When caring for a child's mental health, it is important to consider other aspects as well: whether they are reluctant to speak, love to be alone, or have difficulty making eye contact while speaking. Do they engage in self-talk? Are they unusually stubborn? Nowadays, life is fast-paced, and some parents are unable to be with their children, leaving many children in the care of others. Therefore, the physical and mental well-being of children should not be neglected, after all, in China, we work hard and endure hardships for the sake of the next generation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1012
       },
       {
        "question": "The pressure for the future is overwhelming, and I am very worried about ending up in the lower class of society. How can I relieve my mindset?",
        "description": "My mom has always taught me to never be lazy because it's sad to end up in the lower class of society. So I'm a bit scared because I'm not excellent enough. How can I improve my mindset?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Main topic, hello, I think I can understand your feelings very well. Parents always tell themselves that if you don't work hard, you will end up at the bottom, and even say that I don't have the strength and strong body to even do the lowest level of work. Because I was introverted since I was young, I didn't have much contact with people and things, so I naturally believed my parents' words very easily. But I have a great inertia and I don't really like studying, so I often play while feeling anxious, always thinking that I am not outstanding enough and won't be able to support myself in the future. But when I went to college, others told me that in this developed era, as long as you are not particularly picky and lazy, you can naturally get by in life. Maybe it won't be too comfortable, but at least you won't be unable to support yourself. So, from this aspect, you can also understand that at least we can be self-reliant. Then, the main topic may think that being at the bottom is not good because of the influence of parents. Actually, I think there is no such thing as the so-called bottom. What people generally think of as the bottom probably refers to those with low wages, hard work, and getting dirty every day. However, every profession has its unknown and arduous side. There is really a big social bias. Some people earn money through physical strength and some through intellect, and there is a hierarchy of disdain. However, everyone is making efforts to rely on their brains and does not want to do dirty or tiring work, but there will always be people who do it. These are also indispensable professions in life. In such a discriminatory society, none of us can completely avoid it. If the main topic cannot achieve a completely unbiased mindset, then strive to do a glamorous job. If you are not afraid of others' opinions, just be yourself. It's good to have an easy job, and it's perfectly fine to work harder if you don't. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, sending you warm hugs~ In almost all the education we receive, we are asked to be an upward, positive, and outstanding person. Many people, however, don't feel that they are exceptional. Your perception of yourself may not align with how others see you, as they may recognize your strengths and believe you excel in certain areas. So, maybe you should consider giving yourself more confidence, discover your own strengths, and jot them down. This kind of behavior can reinforce your self-esteem. If you feel that you are not an outstanding person, what areas do you think you can improve on? It is also a way to stand up for yourself. Believe that everyone feels they are not the most perfect; their imperfections are areas for personal growth. Reducing self-doubt and anxiety may help you improve yourself and lead a better life. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18706
       },
       {
        "question": "My 7-year-old niece, her mother passed away, and recently she always cries for her mother.",
        "description": "My niece's mother passed away when she was three years old. Now she lives with her grandmother. When she was little, she was very reliant on others, especially her mother. She would always want someone to hold her and would cry for a long time if no one did. But sometimes she seems mature for her age, which is heart-wrenching. Even when she was very young, she knew her mother was gone and never mentioned her. Recently, she has been calling out for her mother, calling any female figure around her \"Mom.\" There was even a period of time when she told us, \"I only want Dad, not Mom.\" I think she is very sensitive and stubborn. Sometimes, when she is upset, she will hide in her room and cry alone. She is easily saddened and when asked what's wrong or why she's like this, she remains tight-lipped and doesn't say a word. What can I do to help her grow up happy?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP~~~ From the description, we can understand that 1. OP's niece lost her mother when she was young and now occasionally shows emotional confusion. 2. OP is very concerned about her niece and hopes to be able to help her a little bit. Analysis and suggestions: 1. When a child loses their mother at a time when they still need parental care and attachment, they may experience a lack of security, sensitivity, suspicion, distrust of others, and insecurity about others' care. It can be seen that OP is a gentle and kind person who sincerely hopes to help her young niece. However, it is not very likely that all these symptoms will disappear in a short period of time. 2. When dealing with such children, it is not wise to ask what is on their mind or what makes them unhappy. Even if asked, she probably won't say. Most of the time, genuine care and companionship are more important. The child is still at an age where they love to play, so OP should often accompany her, play her favorite games, bring her some favorite snacks, and toys she likes. If the child wants to say something to OP, just be a gentle listener, comfort her, and give her a hug. Hopefully, this will be helpful to OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11718
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I want to talk to someone when I'm alone, but then I don't feel like talking after a while?",
        "description": "Many times, I find myself alone in the room, whether I have nothing to do or something to keep busy, I often think about finding someone to chat with. But after chatting for a while, I don't feel like continuing the conversation, I feel a little annoyed or I have the thought of wanting to be alone again. I find this very strange.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, emptiness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, give you a warm hug, whether you want someone to accompany or want to be alone, it is our freedom and our choice. But what actually causes us to have different thoughts and results is the purpose of our actions, whether it is simply boredom or habit? Or feeling lonely? Or finding it interesting? Or wanting to work with others? Different purposes naturally lead to different results, resulting in different behaviors. For example, there can be several reasons for what you mentioned: wanting someone to accompany, but also worrying that your safety zone will be violated, so while accepting, you will also be on guard and keep your distance. Wanting to maintain good communication or habits, but lacking patience, or feeling disturbed and annoyed when you are busy, causing you to not want to chat. Being easily excited for a short period, feeling happy to chat with someone one moment, but feeling uninterested and bored when someone actually starts chatting, thinking that being alone is more suitable. Lastly, there is a possibility that is almost unlikely but does exist: fluctuations caused by mental illness. I hope my answer can help you (\uff65\u03c9\uff65)\uff89.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3825
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm already 17 years old, why can't I live without my mom?",
        "description": "I was raised by my mother alone. I have a deep emotional bond with her since childhood. Every time I have to leave her and go far away (especially at night when I can't come back home), my mood would plummet, I can't stop crying, I lose motivation in everything, and all I can think about is \"I want to go home, I want my mom\". I cannot eat or sleep well, and I even start to break down and cry uncontrollably. The first time this happened was when I went to a summer camp for three days in elementary school. I realized that I couldn't be apart from her, and after returning home, my emotions were so low that I cried continuously and even took a two-week break from school. I thought it was because I was young at the time, but in high school, during the year when I had military training and had to leave home, the same thing happened again. However, I managed to get through it because I had close friends. She knows that I have this problem, so she purposely chose a university close to home for me to attend. But because of the pandemic, the university might be closed, and I don't know when I can go home and see her. My emotions are on the verge of breaking down again. These past few days, I have cried several times and can't pack my bags at all because I will cry so much that I can't do anything. As soon as I think about not being able to determine when I can go home, I feel desperate. Thinking of the scene when I said goodbye and cried to her at school, tears stream down my face. I'm almost an adult and I still can't be independent from her. What should I do? Is this a mental illness? How can I be happy again?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication, growth process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, your deep bond with your mother is evident as she single-handedly raised you. Since elementary school, you have always felt exceptionally distressed when separated from her. I understand your feelings very well. I hope the following questions will be helpful to you. First, I want to clarify that your situation is not a psychological problem. In your upbringing, your mother has provided you with more than enough love. Due to her being the only person in your life, you have not had the opportunity to interact with the outside world. Your world revolves around your mother, and over time, your dependence on her has become significant. Therefore, when you are separated, you feel extremely sad and upset. This is very normal, and I completely understand. After all, your mother is your whole world, and leaving her leaves you feeling lonely and sorrowful. However, at 17 years old, if you still cannot be independent from your mother, it means that you have not yet developed enough independence of your own. Suggestions: 1. Try taking the first step towards independence. The first attempt at separation is the most painful. However, if you do not take that initial step, you will not be able to truly grow up, nor will you be able to put your mother's mind at ease. I remember on the first day of university, that was the first time I didn't live with my family. At that time, my parents and grandparents accompanied me to the school, and after they left, I felt so sad in my dorm room. I wanted to go back home and didn't even want to stay at school. But can I not go to college? Obviously, I can't. So, I tried to calm down, called my good friends, and vented my feelings of sadness. Gradually, I adapted to the unfamiliar environment and my college life. When you go to college, you have to physically leave your mother; this is an inevitable choice. When you bravely take the first step towards independence, you will become more and more mature and independent over time. 2. Shift your focus. OP, being separated from your mother is very difficult for you. When you are sad, why not try doing something else? For example, talking to your good friends on the phone, watching your favorite TV shows, or going out for a run? When your attention is no longer fixated on the separation, your emotions will be greatly relieved. 3. Try building a new social circle for yourself. In your first 17 years of life, your mother has been the center of your world, and all you have seen is her. Now that you are in college, you have to grow up. You can meet new friends and classmates at school to expand your social circle. When you no longer feel lonely at school, your feelings of sadness will diminish. Lastly, I want to say that most of the time, our growth is not something we are prepared for, and sometimes it is not even what we truly want. If possible, we all want to stay by the side of our loved ones forever, never to be separated. However, as individuals in society, we are pushed forward by time. So, we have to learn to be independent, face separation, and deal with sadness. I believe that when you find happiness and success in your college life, your mother will also be very happy. Moreover, even if you cannot meet in person for a short period, you can express your yearning for your mother through phone calls, right? May you become an independent and better version of yourself. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in the Safe Haven, especially for family members who have been living together for a long time, we have a sense of dependence. Their presence is a psychological comfort zone for us. You grew up with your mother, and it was just the two of you in this home, which made this sense of dependence even stronger. Because you are each other's emotional support. Therefore, the discomfort you feel due to the separation will be even stronger. I can understand the psychological discomfort you are experiencing at the moment. However, dear, separation is also a normal part of life. What we can do is learn to grow through separation. As you said, you are almost an adult and need to step out of the comfort zone that your mother has provided for you. You need to learn to be independent because, after all, your mother cannot accompany you forever. What you need to do is not resist this separation but learn to accept it. I hope you can find the courage to be strong and brave, to learn to communicate with other people around you, to adapt to new roles and environments, and to grow up well even without your mother's presence. After all, your mother, as the saying goes, \"a son travels a thousand miles, but the mother worries.\" She hopes that everything will be fine for you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm sorry to see that you're feeling sad. Even though we are 17 years old physically, deep down we still have the heart of a little girl who needs her mother's company. Your mother has raised you all by herself, and you can say that you and your mother have always relied on each other. Not only can you not be without your mother, but your mother also sees you as the strength that supports her to keep going. Your mother must have sacrificed a lot for you. However, as we grow older, children eventually have to grow up and leave home to start their own independent lives. We have to face the fact of separating from our caregivers. In fact, you have had a successful experience of separation before, when you went through military training in high school with the companionship of your dear friends. This is a very good experience. You have been able to do it before, which fully demonstrates that you can do it again. However, because we are not used to it, the experience brings us unfamiliar and even painful feelings. It might be helpful to review that experience, your own emotional journey, and how you managed to get through it. Are there any methods that can be applied again? In addition, we can ask our mother to help us. Mothers often can't bear to see their children in distress and unconsciously want to protect you and indulge your personality. But this actually deprives you of the opportunity for personal growth and can bring more troubles to your future life. Let your mother help you, for example, by extending the time you spend with each other or changing face-to-face meetings to video calls, etc., with your mother supervising the execution. During this period, it might be difficult to endure the emotions that come from restraining ourselves. We might feel sad, helpless, and even cry like before. In this case, you can seek help from trustworthy classmates and friends to help you get through this period. Mothers are the sacred harbor for everyone, but at the same time, mothers and we are also independent individuals. Finding like-minded friends, nurturing our social circles, and cultivating our own interests and hobbies will help us better adapt to our independent lives outside of the family and discover the beauty of this world beyond the family.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the original poster. OP's statement reminds me of myself during adolescence. At that time, my social circle was not wide, and I was introverted and sensitive. I was very afraid of living without a mother. The first time I left home to board, as someone who was not good at making friends, I felt lonely, bored, and wronged. At that time, I couldn't imagine that I would adapt well to a life without family around. As I gradually grew physically, I transformed from a weak and easily ill state to a strong and robust young adult. I began to have a strong curiosity about the world and desired to go out and see a broader world. Because OP was raised by a mother since childhood and lacked the necessary care from a father during their growth, they often had to rely on their mother. Over time, they found it increasingly difficult to be separated from their mother, and this state gradually accumulated. Sudden environmental changes can easily bring huge psychological impacts to OP, which is why they have shown signs of psychological breakdown several times. So, how to solve the accumulated problems gradually? I think a gradual dissipation method is more suitable for OP's situation. There are multiple aspects that contribute to this problem, and having control over the causes is beneficial for OP's future growth. On one hand, the reliance on the mother may be due to a lack of awareness of the need to gradually become independent, a lack of independence consciousness. On the other hand, it is also possible that the mother is not aware of the independence issues that OP is facing in their growth. Perhaps, for other reasons, the mother feels sorry for OP and gives most of her love to OP, but may overlook the importance of OP's independence. The mother may have her own limitations from her perspective, especially in the absence of a father. We often say that most love in the world is directed towards reunion, only the love of parents points to separation. How to gradually resolve this issue? OP can start with themselves, focusing on small things, such as independently solving things within their ability, summarizing their problem-solving experiences, expressing to the mother the desire to try things on their own when the mother habitually offers help, expanding their social circle with peers (regardless of gender), seeking communication with teachers and elders when encountering problems, exercising and improving physical fitness, participating in activities to shift attention... Every time OP completes a small task, give themselves a big encouragement. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. When you start doing this, the future will quietly have opportunities for change, until one day when you look back at your past self, you will benefit greatly!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Lou Lou, hello\ufe0f\ufe0f I really understand the issues you are facing, as I am also someone like you.\ufe0f First of all, the problem Lou Lou is facing is not being able to be separated from their mother. We can dig deeper into this, why can't Lou Lou be separated from their mother? Lou Lou said they got through it because of their close friends during military training, so it's not necessarily that Lou Lou can't be separated from their mother. It could be that their mother takes care of them in every way, or perhaps their mother can accompany them in everything they do, or maybe Lou Lou can't adapt to the unfamiliar environment outside. Lou Lou needs to think carefully about these reasons!\ufe0f Next, let's try to resolve this!\ufe0f No matter what the reason is, first Lou Lou needs to try to accept the reality of going to school and being away from their mother. These are things that can't be avoided just by not wanting to go. Actually, I always feel unhappy before the start of school, just like Lou Lou.\ufe0f But as time goes on, everything will slowly happen and I won't feel so bad anymore, so it's important to learn to face it.\ufe0f Then, consciously exercise your independence. Think about how you managed to get through things without your mother before, and repeat that feeling. So this time, you can also overcome it.\ufe0f Finally, interact more with people, participate in activities to divert your attention, so that you won't dwell too much on this matter. Maybe you will discover that even without your mother, you can take care of yourself.\ufe0f I hope my answer can help you\ufe0f Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Child, temporary departure is nothing, do not always immerse yourself in longing, learn to overcome it, people will grow up, try to make some friends to distract your attention, or focus on studying. It is not easy for mom to take care of you alone, if you love mom, you must learn to grow up, learn to be strong, only then can mom be reassured.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12908
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it true that people are all alike? Is our uniqueness just self-comfort?",
        "description": "Sometimes we may come across people who are similar to ourselves or certain \"types\" of people. This kind of categorization makes people feel bored, as if there are only a few types of people in the world. It can be disappointing, but the educational belief is that every person is unique and has their own value, which is definite. However, this seems contradictory. How should we deal with such thoughts?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From what perspective, from a human perspective, our structure is the same. When we see a creature approaching, we can determine if it's a human being. If it's about personality or spirit, there are no repetitions, everything is unique. When you talk about categorizing, it is only some people who are similar in certain places, such as values or other areas, like the intersection in mathematics (don't know if you've studied it). Multiple sets may only have some overlap, so everyone is different, and so are you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13720
       },
       {
        "question": "It has been 45 days since I've been depressed. What is the meaning of life?",
        "description": "I have been depressed for 45 days now. In the past week, as soon as I wake up in the morning, I can't help but ask myself: What is the purpose of living? I increasingly don't want to live anymore, and I feel like someone wants to kill me, including my parents and myself... So, the day before yesterday, I almost attempted suicide for real. I want to ask you, what are people really living for? Why do those disabled people desperately want to live in this unbearable world? Thank you for your answer.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive feelings, guilt, shame, panic, and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ~ What is the meaning of being alive? Perhaps being alive is to find this meaning. Being alive means that you can still see the sun tomorrow, you can still have expectations for tomorrow, because you can never imagine what might happen tomorrow. Being alive is like a journey, where we experience joy, feel sadness, and we can go see beautiful scenery, drink milk tea, watch movies, read books and follow TV shows. If you were to leave forever, all of these possibilities would cease to exist. You ask, \"Why do those disabled people desperately want to live in this unbearable world?\" Because in their eyes, this world is not unbearable, but still worth looking forward to. Perhaps someone sitting in a wheelchair finds it enjoyable to bask in the sun in the courtyard every day, and someone who is blind finds satisfaction in being able to hear music and the sounds of nature... Maybe one day, with advancements in medical technology, they can stand up again and see once more. Why not wait a little longer and have some more expectations? You say you have been depressed for 45 days, but what were you like before those 45 days? Were there no moments worth looking forward to during that time? If you feel terrible after a breakup, you can still look forward to a sweet romance. If you have experienced something unpleasant at home or encountered problems at work, those are only temporary. It's better to make more efforts and look forward to life in ten or eight years. Stay positive, anything is possible. Best wishes ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Depression is really a terrifying illness, not because it can make people have suicidal thoughts, but because it can make people unable to control their thoughts even when they know they shouldn't be. If you feel that someone wants to kill you, it means that deep down you still have a desire to live. It's just that you can't figure out why you should live, so why not stop thinking about it altogether. The question of why people live is a question without an answer. The high-level white-collar workers in big cities are always in a hurry every day, the elderly in rural areas sunbathe every day, the workers on construction sites sweat profusely every day, and there are also young people lying in bed playing with their phones all day...These people all say they don't understand why they live for! The reason why people feel depressed is because they are extremely disappointed in certain things. I know a friend who became depressed because he couldn't stand this society. For a long time, he didn't do anything and was extremely impulsive towards suicide. His family sent him to a mental hospital for four months, and he said that the days inside were the most painful for him. When he came out, he called his parents and went to the park to drink pesticide. It took a long time to find the police, and his father was about to give up. Fortunately, his mother was unwilling to let her child go like this, and she searched everywhere with tears in her eyes before finally saving him. The doctors said that it was a miracle that he survived. Later, he embarked on the path of spirituality. In his own words: since he doesn't know why he's alive, he'll live for others! He doesn't ask for a great life, just to stay alive. This friend is not someone else, he is my own brother. I am very grateful that he has been reborn, and I hope you can overcome all difficulties and obstacles soon!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16583
       },
       {
        "question": "21 years old and having a boyfriend, is it wrong for my mother to excessively interfere in my intimate relationship?",
        "description": "I am now 21 years old and have a boyfriend, this is my third one. I have broken up with the previous two. I feel like there is always an obstacle in every relationship I have, this obstacle prevents me from enjoying love and makes me afraid of love. My mother gets too involved in my love life. Every time I come home, I have to explain to her what I did with my boyfriend, where we went. She even tries to control our intimacy and teaches me what to do. The more she does this, the more scared I become. I'm afraid if I did something wrong. So every time I have to make a decision about love, I feel conflicted, torn between listening to myself or listening to my mother. Am I wrong?",
        "keywords": "Family, communication with parents, growth process, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You are facing the excessive intervention and interference of a controlling mother, losing your autonomy and judgment, which brings confusion and fear in your love life. Many parents have a natural desire to control their children, interfering in many aspects of their lives, making arrangements and decisions for them, especially when it comes to dating, they cannot trust their children's choices and want to screen and evaluate potential partners on their behalf. Perhaps your mother has been constantly interfering in your emotional life, as well as controlling and arranging many aspects of your life since you were young. Growing up under the parenting style of controlling parents, children are deprived of their autonomy, making it difficult for them to develop independent, self-confident personalities and abilities. They struggle to establish their own cognitive standards for many things, making confident decisions is also challenging, and they often do not know how to say \"no\" to their parents or lack the courage to reject and resist their control and interference. Therefore, when your mother constantly interferes in your and your boyfriend's affairs, giving unsolicited advice and making numerous comments, you feel dependent on her and increasingly lack confidence in your own relationship. You also don't know how to face, judge, and make decisions for yourself. On one hand, you lack self-confidence and do not believe that your judgment is correct; on the other hand, you are afraid of making choices that go against your mother's will and facing criticism and blame if anything goes wrong. As a result, you find yourself in a state of uncertainty and turmoil, unable to establish a healthy, trusting intimate relationship with your boyfriend. Your compliance and concessions also make your mother unaware that her interference is invasive and controlling behavior, causing harm to you. In fact, you have already seen your mother's control and interference, and her intrusive behavior has caused you great distress and discomfort. You are already 21 years old, an adult with the ability, rights, and qualifications to be independent and assert your own rights, and to achieve psychological separation from your parents. For you, who are suffering, the first thing you need to change is yourself - no longer easily giving in and obeying, and learning to say \"no\" to your mother, rejecting her interference and control, expressing your thoughts and feelings, stating your attitude, and protecting your boundaries. Perhaps for your mother, who is used to controlling and managing everything about you, she may not immediately accept your protest, and it may be difficult to see immediate results from your resistance, but taking this step is the first step towards change and gives your mother the opportunity to see your stance. Establishing these boundaries and asserting your autonomy will require prolonged and repeated \"battles\". It requires your courage, confidence, and persistence.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 168,
            "end": 281,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 281,
            "end": 360,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 360,
            "end": 503,
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           },
           {
            "start": 503,
            "end": 605,
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           },
           {
            "start": 605,
            "end": 685,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 685,
            "end": 793,
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           },
           {
            "start": 793,
            "end": 806,
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           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! \u203bFrom your description, I understand that your mother is overly involved in your love life, always telling you what you should and shouldn't do. This interference makes you feel anxious and conflicted whenever you have to make decisions regarding your relationships. You're unsure whether this is your problem or your mother's, which is causing you a lot of confusion. From what you've described, it is clear that your mother is a cautious, responsible, and loving person. She is afraid of you getting hurt in relationships, so she wants to give you advice to protect you from being deceived. It's commendable that your mother has good intentions, but her actions have become overwhelming for you and are crossing boundaries! At 21 years old, you are already an adult, and even at the age where marriage is acceptable. When it comes to love and marriage, you should have your own beliefs and thoughts, rather than always living under your mother's shadow. It's natural for you to feel uncomfortable in such a situation. We all hope to live in a free environment, so you can try communicating with your mother. Share your feelings with her, and most importantly, let her know that you have grown up and are no longer an ignorant little girl. You have your own ideas and want to make independent decisions. In the eyes of our parents, no matter how old we are, we will always be children. However, we must recognize that while we are growing up, our parents are getting older. Growing up means we have to face life independently, make decisions independently, and can't always rely on our parents. You need to first be aware of this issue yourself and then make your mom aware of it. It would be best to have a good discussion with your mom about this issue, and perhaps there will be some improvement! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7659
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I spend 10 hours a day reading novels and always immerse myself in fantasies?",
        "description": "Ever since I started reading romance novels in high school, I have become addicted and unable to quit. In university, I can spend up to 10 hours a day reading novels, and on weekends, besides eating and sleeping, I only like to hide at home and read novels. I estimate that I have read tens of thousands of books by now, and I probably understand all the clich\u00e9s, but I am still addicted to my own fantasies. I always feel that reality is too real, and only novels have the kind of beauty I yearn for. However, I feel guilty about spending so much time reading novels and I want to quit. How can I break free from this addiction?",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~From the description given by the questioner, I understand that the problem they face is the inability to restrain their habit of reading novels. They always immerse themselves in this unreal and fantasy world. Indeed, novels have a unique charm, and many people love reading novels because they can fulfill what we cannot achieve in reality. It is also a way to relieve stress. However, we often easily fall into the trap of this \"beautiful effect\". In this regard, we may first reduce our exposure to online novels through direct means. For example, when studying or doing other things, we can put our phones in other places (lock them away), or choose other activities to replace and divert our attention when we want to read novels. In addition, we can also choose to seek help from others, relying on external assistance to help us control these behaviors. After taking these direct measures, we should also try to solve the habit of being addicted to novels from the root. Indeed, life is not as wonderful as novels, fulfilling our fantasies and expectations. But there are many wonderful aspects of life that novels do not have. After all, novels come from life. So we might as well discover the beauty of life more and explore the excitement of life.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 53,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 53,
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           },
           {
            "start": 126,
            "end": 217,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 217,
            "end": 260,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 260,
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           },
           {
            "start": 292,
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           },
           {
            "start": 343,
            "end": 372,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10892
       },
       {
        "question": "My husband said that our 14-year marriage is not what he wanted? How to overcome the confusion in our marriage?",
        "description": "After three years of dating and fourteen years of marriage, my husband said that the way our marriage has been and the way we interact is not what he desires. Moreover, he has lost interest in me and feels that he can no longer appreciate me. He has also come to the conclusion that I will never become the person he hopes me to be. Should I consider letting go?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concepts of marriage, divorce, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, seeking help with great inner turmoil and even pain requires a lot of courage, and I can also see your inner longing. Firstly, let's summarize the situation you described: \u25b2 Three years of dating and fourteen years of marriage, \u25b2 Your husband says that marriage is not what he wants, \u25b2 Feeling that he can no longer appreciate you, should you let go? Learn to see the essence through phenomena. After fourteen years of marriage, if your husband is saying this, what does it indicate? On one hand, does it mean that these fourteen years were not what he wanted and he has been struggling with pain for a long time? Why does he say that he is no longer interested in his wife and can no longer appreciate her? On the other hand, in this kind of relationship, are both of you compromising? Does he believe that you will never become the person he hopes for? It seems that you have been continuously changing for him too. Is that right? From this, we can infer that you are also in great pain, constantly changing for him and unable to be yourself, but what's worse is that he does not appreciate it and cannot see it! Looking at it from the perspective of a marital relationship, passion, commitment, and intimacy are particularly important in a marital relationship according to Sternberg's triangular theory of love. So in your marriage, what else is there? Do all three sides exist, and how long are they? In this period of marital confusion, whether to choose to let go or not may be a secondary question. What's more important is whether your heart can bear the psychological conflicts caused by this decision and take responsibility for your own growth. Facing this, perhaps what you need to do is: ## Re-examine yourself, starting from the psychological level, and first achieve self-reflection, what has led to the current state? ## In communication and interaction with him, do you truly understand his internal needs? ## What other possibilities does this marriage have? ... These require specialized counseling and discussion to obtain help. I am here, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey baby, how are you? After 14 years of marriage, your husband suddenly said that these 14 years were not what he wanted. It must feel very unfair and you may even feel worthless at times. Sending you a big hug, sweetheart. But actually, marriage is a partnership between two people, and you shouldn't put yourself in a position to be judged. You can consider the following: 1. Determine your husband's attitude. Is he just feeling emotional at the moment, or has he firmly decided to give up on your marriage? Does he want to face the issues in your marriage together, have open communication, and work together to adjust your thoughts and actions, in order to build a happy marriage together? 2. Were you happy in these 14 years of marriage? It's been quite a journey for your marriage to last this long, but only you know the ups and downs you've experienced. Ask yourself if you have been living the life you wanted in these 14 years. Is the way you and your husband interact and get along what you wanted? 3. Reach a consensus. Once you confirm your husband's thoughts and clarify your own, it is important for both of you to have thorough communication without emotions, expressing your thoughts to find practical ways to improve the situation. For example, if your husband says these 14 years were not what he wanted, what specifically does he want? If he wants both of you to be better, then he needs to express that... Regardless of the final outcome and whether you choose to continue this marriage or not, I hope you can live for yourself, knowing what you want, and then wholeheartedly work towards achieving it. In a marriage, there are compromises to be made, but it's also important to stand firm on those things that are important to you. The above is for reference. May we all live the way we want... Wishing you, the one reading this, all the best as you become better and better!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "He said that the marriage and relationship patterns of these years were not what he wanted. Why didn't he speak up at the beginning? He kept silent for over a decade before finally expressing his feelings. Or is it that you have been stagnant for these years, unwilling to make any compromises or changes, causing the distance between you to grow? What does your husband actually want you to become? Does he have a specific template to reference? Is it difficult to achieve or unimaginable? It's impossible that there has been no improvement in fourteen years, right? Or has he been constantly trying to change you, but always dissatisfied? I can understand how painful it is for someone to be transformed into someone they are not, not because of the continuous act of transformation, but because of loving him, that you allowed this lengthy process of transformation. You have tried your best to accept and change, but he keeps raising the bar, exhausting both of you, with no end in sight. Is he finally tired and impatient, or has he found his ideal person? It seems like he wants to let go, and you also want to let go. But that doesn't mean you don't still love him. A good relationship and marriage do require effort. A true intimate relationship is a mutual effort, not one side transforming the other or one side making progress while the other remains stagnant. It involves accepting each other's differences, making an effort to appreciate each other, understanding each other's needs and desires, cultivating shared interests, sharing family responsibilities, not avoiding, not complaining, not judging, in order to create a better future together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17362
       },
       {
        "question": "I am always particularly averse to the toilet. Do I have OCD?",
        "description": "Always have a strong aversion to toilets, especially toilet seat covers that feel like they are covered in bacteria and very dirty. After using the bathroom, always feel like there are bacteria on my body as well. I always wash my hands very carefully multiple times after using the bathroom, and even after some time has passed, I still think about the environment in the bathroom and start to worry. This feeling is very uncomfortable, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsions, hypochondria, anxiety",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Based on the behavior you described, it seems like you have behavior similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder. However, to what extent does this behavior reach? Do you wash your hands repeatedly for a long time? Does it affect your daily life and work? If this repetitive behavior is affecting your normal life, I suggest you seek active treatment from a psychiatrist. Generally speaking, most people wouldn't directly sit on a toilet seat in public places. They would usually choose a squat toilet unless the restroom provides disposable seat covers, in which case they might use them if they are in a hurry. However, if you're at home or in a reputable hotel, most people wouldn't be too concerned and would use the toilet directly. The reason for this is that the cleanliness of one's home and high-end hotels is generally trustworthy. I'm not sure which situation you are referring to. If you're concerned about bacteria on the toilet seat cover at home, you can wash it frequently. You can change it as often as you think it won't accumulate bacteria or even have a dedicated one for yourself. Ultimately, as long as you feel comfortable, it's fine. Washing hands after using the restroom is a necessary hygiene habit and it shouldn't have much to do with whether or not you use a toilet seat. The duration of handwashing can vary from person to person, as long as it doesn't take up too much time and doesn't disrupt your normal daily routine, it's not a problem. Relax and remember that having a slight obsession with cleanliness is not a bad thing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. Feeling disgusted by the toilet and thinking there are germs on it, even after using it, and constantly thinking about whether there are germs on it, is it normal or not. First of all, it is normal to feel disgust and think there are germs on the toilet seat since it directly touches the skin. Do you realize that there are reasons for this? Outside public toilets, most of them are squat toilets, rarely with a regular toilet. On one hand, it is due to cost issues, and on the other hand, it considers the unsanitary factor of public items that are touched by multiple people, so OP's thoughts are justified. However, at home, we usually don't need to think about it because usually there are only a few people in the house and less contact with others, relatively cleaner. So, OP's suspicion or resistance to other people's toilets outside is correct, but if OP also thinks this way at home, it will bring some mental burden. If these suspicions of germ-related thinking and the behavior of constantly washing hands have already affected OP's normal life and work, it is recommended that OP seek professional counseling to diagnose the situation and see if there are ways to change their thinking.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21110
       },
       {
        "question": "It has been two years and I have been living in the shadow of my ex-boyfriend, who was a scumbag. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am a 98's, my ex-boyfriend is a 97's. We knew each other for seven years. We were together for six months. I liked him when I was in school, and later when I started working, I had a decent monthly income. I rented a house and supported him financially. Everything was paid by me. Later, I didn't have the energy to work anymore, and he cheated on me again. He had already cheated on me once when we first got together, and although I forgave him, this time he went too far. I rented a house for him, but because of work, I rarely went there. When I finally went to see him one day after work because I missed him, I was greeted with a bed full of surprises... I can't forget it. He said he would never deceive me and that everything would be alright. But even now, I still hate him. It has been two years since the incident, how can I let go of this hatred?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, infidelity",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that you are feeling heartache and hatred. In this relationship, you have given too much - emotionally, financially, and in terms of understanding. However, all you received in return was deception. Your hatred is understandable and justified. However, it is important to realize that harboring hatred only hurts yourself, not the other person. Therefore, letting go of hatred is not about forgiving the other person, but about freeing yourself and moving forward. You can find a suitable way to release your feelings of resentment and grievances. For example, you can write a long letter, expressing all your experiences and emotions from this relationship, venting all your complaints or curses, as long as you feel cathartic. This letter can be sent to the other person or torn up and burned. This way, you can bring closure to this relationship and bid it farewell. If you find it truly difficult to let go, consider seeking the help of a therapist who can provide a safe and supportive environment for you to express your pain. This experience can serve as a lesson and a part of your personal growth. Relationships should be based on equality and mutual care, rather than one side taking care of the other. When one person gives too much and does too much, it often does not lead to gratitude from the other person. Instead, it may create a sense of entitlement, as the other person has never had to make any sacrifices and thus does not understand the value of what they have. Sending you a hug, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The topic really hates him\u2014it's actually hating oneself for not being able to judge people clearly; hating why it's always you who gives, but in return, you get betrayal again, and perhaps even more betrayals that you haven't seen or don't know about; hating all these years of emotions and selfless giving, yet not receiving his sincerity in return; hating oneself for still thinking about him after two years have passed; why is all of this so unfair? Why is he the one who made mistakes, while you are the one who gets hurt? But in his view, you were willing to give, he never asked you to give! He even thinks that you use various sacrifices to control him and trap him! What's the difference between this feeling and being a mother? He likes the feeling of being taken care of, but it doesn't mean he wants another mother. An adult male wants to get rid of his mother, to create his own world, to be admired by others, to hold his head up high in front of other women, and to be invincible! Before the topic did all these things for him, did you ever consider his feelings, ask about his needs, give him this opportunity? In his view, he also gave for you\u2014 he felt that you were so lacking in love, so lacking in a sense of existence, and he tried his best to do many things for you\u2014like being by your side when your work wasn't going well, comforting and encouraging you, like sweet words and embraces when you were unhappy, like being there for you when you needed him, taking care of your feelings, always putting you first... But he also needs to be understood, respected, and seen by someone, and he can't find that with you, so he looks for it in others. This is what two people in a relationship with emotions but lacking maturity can do\u2014they only know and are only capable of loving each other in their own ways, without ever seeking the other person's opinion. You likely learned this pattern of dealing with others from your parents, this is how your mother treats your father, are they happy? Does your mother never complain? How do they reconcile their conflicts? No one can continue to unilaterally give, in fact, doing so is to hope for a return\u2014aside from having the right to blame the other person, one also hopes that the other person will listen to their arrangements or be moved by their selfless giving and reciprocate. The topic wants to let go of the hatred, but you have to express your anger, release it, and tell him, getting his belated apology. At the same time, change your perception, constantly giving may just be wishful thinking on your part, so don't blame others. The hatred towards your boyfriend is magnifying your own sacrifices. Think about it, other than these, have you really cared about him and understood his needs? If not, it's time to let go, change yourself, and start a new relationship\u2014you deserve a better life and a more beautiful love. A relationship built on the principles of equality, mutual respect, and understanding is what is necessary for marriage and the possibility of true happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner, it has been two years, and you still can't let go of the past, right? Do you regret it? Do you regret ever liking him back when you were in school? Do you regret forgiving him when he cheated on you for the first time? Do you regret earning money to support him, to rent a house for him? Do you even regret not saying hello and breaking this fake love with your own hands? Do you... hate your past self? Sometimes, hating someone is a way of not letting go of oneself. If you don't hate yourself, then please let go. Your hatred has no effect on your ex-boyfriend, he still enjoys his freedom, hooking up with other girls. The one truly affected is you. Let it go, if you can't seek revenge on your ex-boyfriend, then let it go. You still have your future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14157
       },
       {
        "question": "Today I lost control again, and when I lose control, I throw things.",
        "description": "I feel physically uncomfortable, mentally conflicted, and the noise from the children makes me instantly lose control.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, violence, stress.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I noticed that you used the word \"lose control\" in your description, and I guess you don't want to be like that, but you just can't find a way to \"not lose control\" for a while, right? However, have you noticed that after losing control, your emotions change a bit? That means \"occasionally losing control\" has some positive effects on yourself. At the same time, you can find better ways to release your emotions before a major loss of control occurs. This way, would it be better for you? I guess you are usually a person with a \"good temper,\" always considering others' thoughts. Even if you are not happy, you don't want to express it and cause trouble for others, right? Then why not try to change from here: take care of your own needs before taking care of others'.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I see that you are feeling troubled and conflicted due to some issues. In this situation, you have become irritable and the noise from your child is adding to your frustration. As a result, you've lost control. Sending you a hug~ You mentioned feeling physically uncomfortable. Have you gone to the hospital for a check-up and treatment? It might be helpful to take care of your body and make yourself more comfortable. You also mentioned feeling mentally conflicted. Is it related to work or life? Can you try to create a reasonable plan for yourself? If adjusting all at once feels difficult, don't rush it. Take it step by step. For example, start with slowly adjusting your daily routine, and then try to find more efficient work methods. Sometimes children can be noisy, and you may not know how to handle the situation. Can you try reading some parenting books or taking educational courses? They might be helpful to you. These are just some suggestions I have. I hope they can be of assistance to you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17371
       },
       {
        "question": "How to overcome the feeling of failure and motivate oneself to focus on work?",
        "description": "Ever since I started my postgraduate studies, I have been extremely afraid of failure. Graduation requires us to conduct experiments, which always come with a lot of failures. Last semester, while learning from my senior, I witnessed her repeated failed experiments, which made me extremely afraid. This semester, it's time for me to start my own experiments, but I have been delaying it, unwilling to start. How can I gather the courage and stop being afraid of failure?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! I completely understand your current feelings, as I have been facing the same problem. I have been in the lab for a year now, and I used to learn from my senior. Recently, my professor accepted a collaborative research project, and it's assigned to me. Currently, I am not satisfied with the progress of the experiments, so I can relate deeply to your description. Some people say that pursuing a Master's degree is like being inside a walled city, where people outside want to get in, and people inside want to get out. But in reality, pursuing a Master's degree is just one choice among many in life. You can only understand its taste once you experience it. [Problem Analysis]: Your main problem, OP, is your fear of failure, which has been holding you back from starting. After witnessing repeated experimental failures while working with your senior, you developed a psychological fear. [Some suggestions]: Change your mindset. Experiment failures are normal for graduate students. It is a very common thing, as you can understand from studying the people who have published articles. Many of them have experienced numerous failures before achieving success. There are many factors that can affect the experiment. Sometimes, the chosen research direction itself is difficult, so encountering setbacks is certain. For a new research subject, the experimental conditions need to be gradually explored. There is no need to fear experiment failures. From another perspective, only through failure can you truly understand the details of the experiment, continuously optimize and improve the experimental conditions, and help you with future projects. Don't overthink, take action first. You have been delaying because of fear, but the time span of a Master's degree can be long or short. If you always let fear prevent you from acting, you will only stay in one place without any progress. I believe this is not what you hope for, and it goes against your original intention of pursuing a Master's degree. Faced with experiments, you only have two choices: to do or not to do. Only by doing will you know what it is truly like when you put it into practice. This will also help you grow, as following your senior's instructions and doing it yourself are different. When you have your own research topic, you will pay more attention to the details of the experiment and think about how to solve the problems that arise. Scientific research is a process of discovering and solving problems, constantly cultivating your problem-solving abilities. Just like anything else, getting started is always the most difficult part, but once you take the first step, it becomes easier to keep going. Be brave and take that first step. Analyze the purpose of pursuing a Master's degree and set goals for yourself. Since you have chosen to pursue a Master's degree, you must have your own thoughts, whether it's an interest in research or a desire to enhance your professional skills, or perhaps some other reasons. Analyze your own purpose for pursuing a Master's degree and establish your goals, gradually approaching them in the next few years. Having a goal will give you more motivation, and once you are clear about what you want, you will strive to achieve it. These are some of my suggestions. I hope they can help you, OP. I wish you can overcome your fears soon and fully immerse yourself in scientific research.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I would like to ask the questioner how they understand the word \"failure.\" It means not doing well or not achieving the expected results, etc. But is it ignoring the fact that this is also a form of feedback? In everything, there is no failure, only feedback. If an experiment does not achieve the desired results, it is because there are some irrationality or errors involved. Then, when doing it again next time, adjustments can be made to avoid similar situations. Alternatively, you can communicate with experienced classmates, teachers, etc., to see where the mistakes were made in this experiment. Experience is accumulated little by little, just like learning to cook for the first time, not knowing the right amount of salt, unable to control the heat, unable to time properly, etc. These abilities are obtained through feedback in experience. Therefore, failure is just feedback of valuable information. The problems that occur this time can be avoided next time. If they still occur next time, they will be avoided in the time after that. Through repeated attempts, you will always achieve the results you desire.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13108
       },
       {
        "question": "\"How can one be considered a 'licking dog'? Am I a scum woman?\"",
        "description": "I am a girl, but the attention and favoritism from some boys have caused me distress. I do not like them and have made it clear to them, yet they continue to be kind to me. The reason this is bothersome is because I feel that if I don't like them, I don't have the right to accept their kindness. I feel obligated to reciprocate their kindness, which drains my energy and finances. Blocking them is also difficult for me (maybe because I still hope to have someone be kind to me). I want to know if these boys can be considered \"lapdogs\" and if I am a bad girl.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, you are not a bad girl because you have clearly stated that you don't like them. It's just that maybe you are too kind-hearted and unintentionally give them the illusion that they can succeed if they try hard enough. They can't be classified as \"stalkers\"; they just genuinely like you and are making efforts to win your affection. After all, not all relationships start with mutual attraction from the beginning. My suggestion is, if you really don't like them and there is no chance for a relationship, you need to be firm when necessary. For example, don't reply instantly to their messages, as this often leads to lengthy conversations. Instead, reply after a while to prevent awkwardness and to avoid getting into a long conversation with them. Also, if they give you expensive gifts, don't accept them and give them back directly. This will clearly convey the message that you do not like them, prevent misunderstandings, and save them from spending too much money on you. Lastly, don't worry too much. Isn't it a sign of excellence to have so many guys liking you? Why aren't you happy? Learn to reject them better, and I believe that one day in the future, you will meet someone who you truly want. Only a more excellent version of yourself can be with him in a better way!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Simping is already an inappropriate term. For now, it's better to distance yourself from these people and try not to accept unwarranted kindness, which may later lead to the mistaken perception that you are fishing for compliments and earn yourself a reputation as a sleazy woman. It's natural for everyone to want someone to treat them well, but often it requires one's own efforts and contributions in order to reap the rewards; otherwise, there may be consequences to pay. If you're interested, you can find a boyfriend you like and put an end to their fantasies.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20135
       },
       {
        "question": "I had a sudden surge in sexual desire during class, so I masturbated for a while. What should I do if my classmate saw me?",
        "description": "I got sexually aroused during class and ended up masturbating for a bit. However, my male desk partner saw it and insisted that I have sex with him or else he would tell our classmates about my masturbation. I didn't want to be humiliated, so I agreed. Later, he took me to his house during lunchtime when nobody was there. He pinned me on the bed, undressed me, fondled my breasts, and took my virginity. After that, he would have sex with me every day. When my mom asked where I had been, I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth, so I had to ask my best friend for help and say that I had been at her place. I'm on the verge of despair. Can anyone tell me what to do?",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual activity.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Little sister, face the concerns you have, as it is a big test for you and a challenge that you need to overcome. If you overcome it, I believe your inner strength will grow. Sex is not something to be ashamed of; you can learn more about it. During puberty, the probability of boys masturbating is around 70%-80%, while for girls, it is around 30%, so it is a normal phenomenon. We can only face and even control it when we treat it objectively in our daily lives. You should know that sex education in China is lacking; boys often receive sex education from Japanese AV because of their inner hunger and the lack of education, leading them to fantasize about controlling women. Don't be afraid; even if someone found out about your masturbation, so what? Everyone is the same. Are you really the dirty one? No, the dirty ones are those who are unable to face it and resort to controlling others. The dirty ones are those who can't control their desires but ruin other people's actions and words. What you need to do is train your inner self and strengthen your self-control. Others are not as important as you think. We should learn to cherish ourselves, but when you lose yourself in the process of cherishing those things, is that really cherishing yourself? Cherish yourself by living independently and confidently. People will always lose something in their lives. Even if you lose your virginity or lose face, so what? Ordinary people only pay attention to fresh things. As long as you live with a non-whiny and proactive attitude, you are already cherishing yourself enough. I believe you can become stronger, so don't be afraid and face them! This is also a valuable experience for you, through which you will come to understand men better. Only by knowing ourselves and others can we be invincible. You will realize that men are naturally driven by food, appearance, and sex. Will it then not hinder your vision when choosing a partner? Experiences are always helpful to us as long as we know how to perceive them. You can understand the other person, acquire knowledge about sex, and gain more knowledge. This knowledge will help you judge and adopt your own strategies. Returning to the question, let me give you a tip: next time you have sex, try not to be so weak. Do it confidently with the guy and after it, have an open conversation with him, like friends. You can comment on the length of his penis and tell him that the sex wasn't comfortable. When you talk openly about these things like a brother, his desire to conquer the weak will transform into a brotherly feeling, which may reduce his sexual desire. Your comments may also hurt him to some extent, which might help you in further strategizing. I'm not sure how the specific implementation will turn out since I don't know the guy well enough. But to sum up, you need to strengthen your inner self first! I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. In a situation of threat and passivity, either you burst out in silence or silently collapse. You should bravely face the problem, be fully prepared, and decisively solve it. From your description, I can feel your current panic and helplessness. On the one hand, you do not want to engage in a relationship that makes you feel threatened and oppressed, causing you disgust and sadness. On the other hand, you don't know how to break the current predicament and worry about your image in front of your parents and classmates. The other person's behavior is despicable, and you feel helpless and in pain, like a lamb raised by a wolf. However, what sets you apart is that you have your own subjectivity and have your family and teachers who can help you solve the problem. Don't easily confide in your best friend about this matter because your thoughts and advice on handling things are immature. If you think about it, grabbing the other person's leverage or bargaining with them, even if he tells others about the situation, you will also tell them about the fact that he had a relationship with you. This kind of \"negotiation\" is unreliable. You can think about what actions you can take. What is the worst outcome? If you don't make a change and let the other person threaten you, how will your studying and living situation be affected? How long will this relationship continue? Won't the other person use this to blackmail you into doing other things? and so on. Seriously consider who around you can help you: your parents? Or your teachers? Or other trusted elders? Seek their help. Try to have a frank conversation with your mother because as a woman, she may better understand your feelings and the grievances you have endured. This may be the best approach. Your mother will have her own thoughts and actions. She can discuss with the teacher how to solve the problem, and the teacher will also involve the other person's parents to resolve the matter instead of the current situation where everything seems fine but the suppressed things are extremely dangerous. Anyway, your family will be your support and reliance. Your mother may blame you, but more likely, she will feel sorry for you. It's okay; you must make a decisive choice without delay because you cannot determine whether the other person is acting maliciously or with goodwill towards you. You are still a good girl, so don't question your worth or feel ashamed and inferior because of this. If you cannot adjust your emotions and mentality, you can discuss with your family about finding professional help to get out of this predicament. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It subverted my worldview that I've held for 29 years! We can no longer tolerate this matter. If we don't resist, we may face even greater threats in the future. The road ahead is still long. If we don't solve these troubles, we will continue to be at the mercy of others, creating a debt for ourselves and our future. What you need is someone like me. Although I cannot turn back time, I can be there for you, regardless of how others are. I will always protect you by your side. However, I'm not physically present with you, and I'm not suitable to be your classmate. I just hope you can find my incarnation, someone who also needs you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the subject first, it is important to clarify that having sexual needs is not scary or shameful, it is a normal physiological response. If sexual repression is not properly relieved during adolescence, it may lead to certain problems. Influenced by past thinking, society seems to expect women to be pure and virtuous, and men may also have a fixation on virginity. However, this is just a physical aspect and attaching too much meaning to it can bring more pressure and distress. Even without this layer, there is no need to feel guilty or bound by societal expectations. It takes two to tango, this is a matter involving two people, it is his choice and also yours, so if you made a choice, you should consider the consequences. Even if you firmly refuse and make it known to others, they will have no evidence, just baseless speculation. If this guy is demanding it every day and resorts to violence, coercion, or any other means to force you into a sexual relationship against your will, then it falls under the definition of rape, which is a criminal offense. In such a situation, you can try to communicate with him first, appeal to his emotions and reason with him, explaining the nature of his current behavior and the potential consequences if reported. If he chooses to continue coercing you or escalates the situation, you can inform both sets of parents and teachers to take action. If the situation is mishandled, you can collect evidence and seek legal or police assistance. Of course, during this process, the information may spread, society may engage in gossip and verbal violence, and even your parents may doubt you. But you must stand firm and remember that facing sexuality during adolescence is normal. Those who refuse to accept it as normal perhaps have not received proper sex education. However, it is unfair and one-sided to judge a person's character or lifestyle based on this. Empathy is rare in this world, and you have to walk your own path step by step. During the learning phase, you should plan your time wisely, accumulate knowledge, and work towards your goals for a better future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This is still an inner desire, not a real fear. Which is worse, making a fool of yourself or the present? So, what you can do now is to control yourself. I don't know how old you are, but your future path is still long. There will be an end to this if you keep going, but I don't know when. The further you go, the more hurt you will be. It's better to free yourself early.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17696
       },
       {
        "question": "Severe depression relapse, not being understood, can't hold on anymore...",
        "description": "Feeling misunderstood, the heart feels heavy like a stone, helpless, unable to go on.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, mental crisis, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, it's always like this when it relapses. I just recovered from my second relapse, and you must know that no matter how things are now, once there is a turning point, it is a rebirth. To have a new life, you have to never give up! When you voice your problems, I know how difficult it is. I used to ask questions during my own relapses but was afraid to look for answers because I was scared of not being able to save myself and of no one understanding. Now you finally have the chance to understand that not only are there people who understand you, but there are also people who can love you. Your voice is a cry for help, you hope to be rescued, you hope to live on. You love yourself more than anyone else, you just haven't realized it. Recently, I have been taking classes on 52 Mental Health Camp, and I have changed since the first day. Sometimes our cognition becomes problematic, but it's not our fault; no one tells us how we should act. Until one day, some turning point appears, and you will also start anew just like me. During a depressive episode, the feelings of pain and helplessness sweep over us. We really wish someone could help us, but what if others don't know how to help? We don't think in this way. Our first thought is always, \"Why doesn't he understand me and help me? It's all my fault or other people's fault. I'm not worthy of existing, not worthy of being loved.\" We also don't have the awareness to protect ourselves because no one has taught us the feeling of loving ourselves. We want to receive love from others but don't know who can give us love. We want to learn how to love ourselves but don't know how. Our helplessness is not something we give ourselves, it's the result of our past experiences that make us confused. However, we still have the chance to correct the problem. If you were in your current state, would you give yourself a chance? During a depressive episode: 1. First and foremost, you must understand and forgive yourself for not having time for anything else because our hearts are occupied by unease; our hearts have already been handed over to one thing. 2. Then learn to express yourself. Why am I uncomfortable? What kind of emotion do I want to express? What do I hope for myself to do? Don't force yourself, just feel that calmness, even any kind of emotion is allowed to exist. 3. When the emotions arise, whether the desire to cry or laugh, just do it and follow your heart. When you want to take a deep breath, take one, feel the sensation of breathing, even if the breath is not smooth, it's still a sensation. Remember the pain at this moment; when you heal, it will become an indescribable emotion. It turns out that you have overcome tremendous difficulties. 4. When you have the chance, learn some psychology and heal yourself with more people who are going through the same thing. Not everyone has the opportunity for the person who hurt them to apologize or start over. Ultimately, self-help needs to surpass expectations of harmony. When you start seeking help and can receive it, your turning point will come. I have been taking classes at 52 Mental Health Camp for 10 days, and I don't have heavy nightmares anymore. I still feel blocked at times, but I always tell myself that even if I'm annoyed, it's okay because this is how I am at this moment. I will change, but at this moment, I allow myself to be like this. I hope you have the opportunity to seek help, and I also hope that you let yourself go now. It's not that no one loves you; it's just that you haven't met those who know how to love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. I answered a topic about depression last time, and your brief statement reminded me that the less information there is, the heavier the matter. I quickly found my previous answer and shared it with you. Depression is related to the loss experienced in the inner feelings. Depression has its unique pathological mechanisms. Medication intervention can effectively increase the release of neurotransmitters in the neurons, enhance neural activity, make people more excited, suppress suicidal impulses, and provide an opportunity for psychological interventions. The theoretical mechanism of depressive emotions involves the following process: when a baby is born, important caregivers take 100% good care of the baby, and the baby experiences a perfect image of their parents. As the baby grows up, the parents gradually withdraw their omnipotent care, and the child gradually experiences frustration, realizing that the once perfect parents also have negative aspects. Many stories happen during this period, and it is not an exaggeration to describe them as full of conflicts and struggles. When a child experiences frustration, they may become unruly, such as crying, hitting parents, or even showing signs of anger and aggression, trying to express their anger and frustration. At this time, if parents can bear this part of the attack, let the child vent enough and consistently make the child feel loved and accepted, the child can transition from fear of loss to the ability to experience loss, which is a significant transformation and development of self-functioning. Conversely, if parents get angry because of the child's crying and blame and punish the child, and use harsh methods to make the child obedient, the child will increasingly understand that the parents do not accept them. If they continue to behave in this way, they may lose the remaining positive aspects of the parents, and in order to retain their parents' love and attention, an important psychological mechanism occurs - they identify with the part of themselves that the parents criticize, and turn the aggression inward, blaming themselves for not being good enough and feeling responsible for burdening the family and affecting everyone. In fact, all this aggression was originally directed towards the significant caregivers. This process of rejection, turmoil, blame, self-recognition, and self-directed aggression happened many times and accumulated a lot of negative emotions, such as frustration, anger, fear, and so on. Therefore, one develops a particularly sensitive personality, and can sharply perceive the attitude of the other person in the relationship, afraid of influencing the other person, but in fact, they are particularly afraid of rejection and non-acceptance. They may even develop some special defense mechanisms, such as false optimism, enthusiasm, and positivity, but in their hearts, they feel deeply lonely and self-blaming. Coming back to you, I think of a Christian teaching: \"God helps those who help themselves.\" I think you are feeling very uncomfortable right now. Unacknowledged experiences can activate your depressive emotions. Think about how you got out of the depressive state last time. There may be some resources that can help you. Also, believe that a compatible counselor can help you. We have many excellent mental health counselors who are very professional and take the industry and visitors very seriously. Seek out a mental health counselor who is right for you and work with them to manage your depression. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Can you take a break and stop studying and working? Comparing depression to physical injuries, like a broken bone, it is an inconvenient illness. It is better to recover first. I hope you understand that you cannot expect others to understand you, which is normal. Of course, others cannot demand things from you either. If someone makes unreasonable demands or asks for something you are unable to fulfill currently, it is natural to reject them and defend your rights. Enhance your sense of boundaries and remember that you are the most important. Learn more about psychology, reflect and treat the root cause. You need to know why you have become like this before you can do what you want to do. Don't worry about people holding you back, and don't ask for their attention. Focus on your own emotions and don't feel sorry for others. They won't die without you. You are the most important person. Get to know the darkness in people's hearts, become stronger, know yourself and know your enemy, fight a hundred battles and win a hundred times. In the future, pay attention to those things and don't let them defeat you. \"People are alike in their nature, but differ in their habits.\" To understand others, the best way is sometimes to understand yourself. Think from their perspective, learn to anticipate, and don't give up. You have to believe in the limitless potential of human beings. With the same physical structure, why are some people smarter and more outstanding? The external conditions are different. You need to see the differences between yourself and others in the environment and make the best choice. Leave, change the environment, or change yourself. You are not a tree, don't let fate control you. As a person, you should be independent, flexible, and agile. Don't lie in bed all the time, don't always stare at your phone, go out, take a walk, and bask in the sun. If you're afraid of people, go out at night and greet the moon. Not only should you communicate with others, but also communicate with yourself. Hell is other people, don't be pretentious towards others, but you can be pretentious towards yourself. You are the most important, and you should tell yourself that.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know what you have been through, but I know it must have been really tough because I also struggle with similar feelings. Sometimes, I don't know the meaning behind my own existence, but I also can't bear to give up. Although I know that some words might not bring you comfort, I believe that there are people around you who understand and accompany you, and they can definitely help you. No matter what others think, I hope you can get better, and I hope the same for myself too.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17028
       },
       {
        "question": "Discovering that a child has been stealing money and repeatedly asking relatives for money, what should be done?",
        "description": "What should I do if I discover my child stealing money? And not just once asking relatives for money? And not allowing relatives to speak.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, child development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "As a mental health counselor, I often receive inquiries from parents, some of which are related to their anxiety over their children stealing money. For example, parents may ask, \"What should I do if my child frequently steals money?\" \"How should I educate a child who steals money?\" \"Is there any way to make a child stop stealing money?\" Almost all of these questions are asking for solutions to the problem. One time, a parent came to me for counseling. The mother anxiously told me that her middle school son had been secretly taking money from home multiple times, with amounts ranging from a few dollars to a few hundred dollars. When confronted about the money, the child would usually claim to have used it to buy DVDs, books, or toys, and would tell the parents that he wanted to keep some money for convenience, in case he went out to play with his friends occasionally and needed to spend money. Every time the child said this, the parents would scold him and warn him not to secretly take money again, or else he would face consequences. In order to understand the child's situation better, I asked the mother how she viewed her child. The mother believed that her son was lazy, uninterested in studying, and only interested in playing. She felt that at his age, he should know how to study properly, but he always wanted to play games. No matter how much she criticized him, he wouldn't listen and would even talk back and tell lies. When criticized, the child would simply stop talking to the adults, storm out of the house, or close his bedroom door as soon as he entered the house, which made their family relationship very tense. The mother appeared very anxious and helpless, as her child showed no motivation to improve himself, and their relationship was so strained that communication was impossible. She didn't know how to educate him anymore. Based on the descriptions above, all I heard were criticisms of the child, so I continued to ask the mother if her child had any positive qualities. The mother quickly replied, \"No, there is nothing good about him.\" She felt hopeless and didn't know what to do. She would often tell her son that he was so bad that she should just send him to a correctional facility. Later, I learned that this boy was actually very kind-hearted and would offer his seat to the elderly when taking public transportation, but he often displayed shyness. However, whenever his mother noticed this, she would scold him for not being generous enough and for acting like a girl. The child's academic performance was not poor, and he was even a class monitor. In the conversation that followed, the child once told his mother, \"Why do you always think I'm not good enough? Everyone else thinks I'm not bad, but it seems that no matter what I do, it's never good enough for you. I just want you to praise me.\" Lastly, I asked the mother if she used to give her child a regular allowance. She said she used to give him ten dollars per week, but she stopped because the child's teacher had accused him of stealing money. From the process described above, all the mother saw were the negative aspects of her child, and she used a punitive approach to handle the issue of her child stealing money. When it comes to the issue of child education, whether it's stealing money or rebellion and disobedience, problem-solving requires delving into the child's inner world. First, as parents, we need to understand what the child wants to express through these actions and what their true intentions are. Stealing money, skipping school, or even causing harm to others are often attempts to seek attention from parents. If the child already receives enough attention, they won't need to do extra things to get their parents' attention. Secondly, when communicating with children, parents should ask about their feelings instead of immediately passing judgment on their actions. For example, instead of saying, \"What you did was terrible, don't do it again,\" you can explain why the action is not good and listen to the child's perspective and feelings about the situation, then provide guidance. Lastly, give children unconditional love rather than threatening to withdraw love. For example, parents often say to their children, \"If you're not good, I won't want you anymore,\" or \"If you don't behave, Mommy won't love you anymore.\" These conditional expressions of love can create a great sense of insecurity in children. In order to avoid the anxiety of not being loved, children may become overly compliant and seek constant approval from their parents, but they may lack self-confidence and a sense of self-worth. On the other hand, children can become rebellious and frequently confront their parents and others, making it difficult to have healthy relationships. Lastly, children may become apathetic, indifferent towards their parents and everything else, and may even avoid social interactions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2252
       },
       {
        "question": "How to accept my immature and willful mother?",
        "description": "Lately, I've been thinking about how to accept my mother. This mother of mine loves to seek bargains, is childish and capricious, even more restless than me. She is always starting new businesses, looking down on my basic sales job with a monthly salary of 3000. From lacking self-confidence in the past, she has become disdainful of others, believing she is the most perfect person in the world. On the positive side, she is friendly towards others and has a rich imagination. Ah, how should I properly get along with this mother?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Life is too hard. Whether it's us or our parents, we are all newcomers to this world. Faced with such a complex environment, we learn little by little, hoping to better handle the situations in life. So no matter what way you or your parents choose to solve problems, it is a better approach based on their own understanding or experience. Sometimes, it's not that we don't want to handle things better, it's just that our abilities are not enough. Do you know about the power of positive thinking? Actually, I often encourage myself this way. Otherwise, life is too tough, filled with shortcomings. How can we continue to endure? The truth is clear in my heart, but what I say out loud may just be a little comfort to myself. So don't just listen to what others say, but also observe their actions!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21118
       },
       {
        "question": "How to deal with a female high school student who feels uncomfortable at school?",
        "description": "A high school girl suddenly dares not lift her head to look at the blackboard. Her body seems to be uncontrollably trembling and she doesn't want to make eye contact with others. She is very sensitive to sounds during class and her head shakes when she lifts it, which makes her feel embarrassed. She seems to start caring about what others think, but she keeps telling herself that she doesn't care and despises her own behavior. She can never concentrate on what she is doing and lacks motivation in studying, which in turn makes her feel inferior to others. She has tried to control it for a while but finds it exhausting. What should she do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, hypochondria, avoidance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, first, let me give you a big hug. From your description, I understand that you are currently experiencing difficulties in school, such as being unable to look at the blackboard, trembling, and feeling inferior. You are aware that this is not good and have tried to force yourself to change, but it has not been effective. [A little analysis and advice] 1. High school is a new beginning for you, and it is normal to experience some negative emotions under the changes in environment and increased academic pressure. If possible, you should confide in a trusted family member or friend about your thoughts and feelings. This may provide practical help, and even if it doesn't, it can help alleviate your anxiety. 2. Forcing yourself to change without understanding the underlying reasons may actually increase your anxiety. It might be best to accept this problem first, that you don't want to look up or speak in class, and gradually try to adapt to school life. Try to listen in class and focus on your studies, and attempt to engage in conversations with classmates. If you can't do it, don't force yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19472
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that.",
        "description": "The class monitor in college offended a few classmates at work. Those classmates bullied her and threatened to isolate her. The bullying was not physically harmful, but it was annoying. They would throw all the homework to her when collecting assignments, and the girls would corner her and pinch her against the wall, but she didn't resist or feel upset. This made the students even angrier. Later, they found that the class monitor didn't go to the communication room (I am not sure about this, I am guessing that the reason she didn't go was because she was being beaten there). Before that, they retaliated against the class monitor by hitting her and even recorded it to embarrass her on TikTok, but the class monitor didn't cry or beg them. Those students were finally punished and they locked the class monitor in the communication room, but they didn't dare to lock the door. Unexpectedly, the class monitor couldn't get out on her own. It was the umpteenth time I encountered this, so I opened the door. The class monitor leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths with tears on her face. I asked her what happened, and she said she didn't know, but she would be fine in a moment. They noticed that the class monitor looked haggard, so they enjoyed locking her in the communication room and would even hit her arm or leg before locking her up. Later, I also became one of the people who pushed her into the room and pinched her. I didn't want to do it, but I was afraid of being bullied myself. I only did it once, but I regret it a lot now. Now that the class monitor is locked in the room, when I go to open the door, she tells me to get out.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts, friends, roommates, classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your message, I can tell that: 1. You acknowledge your mistake and desire forgiveness. 2. You are conflicted, as you bullied your classmate out of self-preservation, fearing bullying yourself. Here are my personal opinions: 1. Firstly, you need to recognize your actions and have proper moral judgement. Your actions have caused great harm to the class monitor, to the point where she is afraid to resist. 2. Those who harm others have a responsibility to apologize, while those who have been hurt have the right not to forgive. This applies to your relationship with the class monitor as well. You need to express your apologies to her, but also understand that she may have reasons not to forgive you, as the damage done cannot be easily repaired with a single apology. 3. The true way to rectify your mistake is to learn what actions are inappropriate, to be honest with others, and to uphold justice. Best wishes! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~I completely understand your desire for forgiveness. Your behavior, along with some classmates, has already constituted bullying behavior in the school, and moreover, you locked the class monitor in a confined space. I hope you realize that this is not a small matter. School bullying refers to the unequal power bullying and oppression between children. It has always existed in schools. These peer bullying behaviors may include physical or verbal attacks, resistance and exclusion in interpersonal interactions, or comments or ridicule on others' sexuality or body parts, similar to sexual harassment. I suggest that you open the door because everyone is free, and no one has the right to forcibly confine others. The only reasonable way we can see confinement is when someone has made a mistake and may have to spend time in jail. Moreover, I hope you can explain what you have done to your teacher, and talk to the class monitor's parents. Most importantly, you should sincerely apologize to the class monitor. I know you may feel a lot of pressure and may be afraid of being bullied by others. So, at this point, I'm not asking you to confront them, but I hope you can seek help from more powerful sources, such as teachers or parents. Because even if you feel safe now, if you have done something very wrong, you will regret it later. Everyone is equal, and this is important. And now you have a way to help the class monitor and make things better. If you really don't have the courage to do it, it's not your fault. But you must do something, you have to seek help from more people, such as parents, teachers, and anyone else you can imagine. If you just watch someone being bullied, it is very harmful to yourself as well. I believe you also wouldn't want to see no one willing to help when you are being bullied. I truly feel sorry for your class monitor, and I understand that you may not have understood at the time, but I hope you can all do better and be good people. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4980
       },
       {
        "question": "When I am sad, my heart always aches instead of shedding tears. Do I have any psychological issues?",
        "description": "When I was young, I often felt like I was being treated unfairly at home. I would cry frequently. As I grew up, I became more understanding and my relationship with my family gradually improved. However, in the past 3-4 months, I have noticed that I have been feeling sad and unhappy with my partner. I constantly have the urge to cry but I can't cry. Instead, I feel a deep pain in my heart. It's different from before when I would cry without feeling this heartache. Now, I only feel the heartache but can't cry. I want to know what's wrong with me. Do I have any psychological issues?",
        "keywords": "Emotion, depressive emotions, emotion regulation, emotional intelligence.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "We don't have any major problems, we just haven't found a release method that belongs to us. When we were young and suffered grievances or bullying, crying was indeed a way to release emotions. People around us would worry about us and try to comfort us. Xiaofan also felt aggrieved when he was young. Many times, he felt that his parents didn't love him and thought that they didn't pay attention to him. So he would cry to release his emotions or get their attention. As he grew older, he gradually understood that his parents did love him, but they had different ways of thinking and handling problems, which led to different responses in different situations. As he grew up, he also realized that crying couldn't really solve the problem, so he learned to calmly analyze and find ways to overcome the current difficulties, although sometimes he still cries. Now that we have grown up, we have more experiences and richer emotions, especially when it comes to love. We may feel heartbroken because love and family love are somewhat different, especially in our first love or when we meet someone we have feelings for. Even though we have given our all, the other person still doesn't understand us or misunderstands us, which makes us very sad. We want to cry, but feel that crying won't solve the problem. We feel aggrieved but can't express it, and we don't know who to talk to, so it all gets stuck in our hearts. In the future, if we have any problems, we can come here to vent and complain. Actually, speaking about certain things or looking at them from a different perspective can provide different insights. So let's not keep everything inside. The world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2506
       },
       {
        "question": "'Can the air of saying that money can buy everything make one feel weak while waiting? What happened?'",
        "description": "The saying that money can buy everything implies that you're waiting for yourself to become weak? When I was young, I had a foster experience. Because my academic performance was outstanding in the foster family, the elderly who took care of me said, \"Just wait and see (I'll wait and see the day when you fall).\" I feel like I wasn't influenced by the other person, but there is a feeling in my heart that I am watching myself become weak, with an attitude of pride and calmness. I feel that this strange attitude towards myself is not unfounded. I can only recall the feelings when I was spoken to - disappointment and a sense of personal decline (suddenly feeling inferior, perhaps feeling unworthy, with a self-perception that went from high to low, that's roughly how I can describe it). The rest, I really want to explore, that strange feeling of being proud, calm, and waiting for myself to become weak - this peculiar mood. It's like calmly wanting to speak cool words to myself....Silence. Background supplemental information: Actually, it was quite suffocating in the foster family, being far away feels ungrateful. They only provided care and polite meals for me, living there for many years without any concern. I should have been more sensible. They treated me like this only because the familial bond is weak, it should be their way of treating me, forming a kind of code of conduct. But I can't deal with this kind of indifference. Couldn't remain calm to think about it. I miss my teachers a lot, thank you.",
        "keywords": "Growth, character improvement, self-development, and developmental patterns.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: I saw a child who has had experiences of being fostered and has a distant relationship with their mother. It is easy for children like this to develop Borderline Personality Disorder. It is painful not to be able to receive love at an age when one should be able to enjoy it. No one protects them, no one supports them, no one becomes their backup. It's a bit heartbreaking. May I help you analyze it? I hope it can help you relax a bit. Analysis of the problem: 1. The tone of \"money can buy everything\" implies that you are waiting for yourself to become weak? (At first I didn't understand the meaning of this sentence, but as I read on, I think I understand a bit. This child, this child is quite difficult. Because their growth is not up to them. Although I don't know why you were placed in someone else's home, you certainly wished very much to have someone to protect and love you.) 2. You had experiences of being fostered when you were young, and because your academic performance was outstanding in the foster family, the elderly person who takes care of you said, \"Let's wait and see (I'm waiting for the day you fall).\" You feel like you weren't influenced by the other person, but deep down, there is a sense of watching yourself become weak with an attitude of pride, calmness, and composure. (Childhood experiences have a significant impact on the development of one's personality, and for some people, it can last a lifetime. However, if dealt with early, it can greatly reduce the suffering. It is impossible not to be affected. Waiting for yourself to become weak means you have already \"determined\" yourself, making it difficult for you to truly \"release\" your future development. Your thinking is constrained.) 3. You feel that this strange attitude towards yourself is not unfounded. You can only recall the feelings you had when you were told those things - feeling lost and a decline in your sense of self (suddenly feeling inferior, feeling unworthy, and having a lower self-perception. This may describe it). (Yes, you are already \"trapped.\" You have become self-deprecating and unworthy because of that sentence. Even though you may say you are not affected, you were too young at that time, and your \"psychological defense line\" was relatively low. Out of fear and panic, you unconsciously accepted it. The meaning is: waiting for yourself to become weak like them.) 4. As for the strange mentality of eagerly waiting for yourself to become weak and confident, you have a strong desire to explore it. It seems that you want to systematically speak coldly to yourself. ... As an analyst, there is a defense mechanism called \"projective identification\" in psychoanalysis. It means that when you hear someone say, \"Waiting for the day you fall,\" you project that statement onto yourself and identify with it. Even though you say you are not affected, at that time, you were too young and had a low \"psychological defense line.\" Because of fear and panic, you identified with it. The meaning is: waiting for oneself to become weak like them.) 5. It was quite suffocating in the foster family, and being far away is seen as ungrateful. They only take care of you and provide meals for you politely every day for many years, without showing any care. (I don't know the specific relationship you have with your foster family, and I don't know why your parents didn't take care of you. But what is clear is that I can see you have grievances towards your foster family, the kind of grievances that come from seeing them as your \"parents.\" You also have feelings towards them, otherwise, where would the resentment come from?) 6. You should be sensible. They treat you this way only because there is a distant blood relationship, and they should treat you like this as a personal principle. But you seem unable to deal with this indifference. You can't calm down and reflect on it. (They are your foster family. If your parents are still alive, they have no legal responsibility as guardians. Rather than saying you have grievances towards them, it would be more accurate to say you have resentment towards your \"parents,\" right? Instead of saying they are indifferent to you, it would be more accurate to say your \"parents\" are indifferent to you, right?) Facing the problem: \"The attitude of saying that money can buy everything, waiting for oneself to become weak, what happened?\" - \"The tone of 'money can buy everything' seems to make you annoyed, but you seem helpless. Regardless of who said it, I can tell you that this statement is not correct. 'Money' is important, but it's not everything. There are many things in this world that money can't buy, such as \"family, love, and friendship.\" Even if they can be bought, they are not genuine. - \"Waiting for oneself to become weak\" is a sign of powerlessness. You don't want to, but you are unable to refute the fact that you haven't been loved and treated well, which creates a \"deficiency\" in a person's life when they grow up. But don't be afraid, we can fill in the gaps. Childhood experiences have a significant impact on a person, but learning and effort can change your destiny. No one can dominate someone's life, only oneself can live up to this life. If you don't know something, learn it; if you make a mistake, correct it. There is no problem that cannot be solved unless you don't want to. Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you fearlessly love yourself! I wish you can take control of your own life. If you have any confusion, you can message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that the description in this paragraph is quite good. You mentioned that I have a strange attitude towards myself, where I watch myself weaken, and I have a proud and calm attitude about it. I feel that this strange attitude towards myself is not unfounded. I can only recall the feelings I had at that time - a sense of loss, and a fall in my self-esteem (suddenly feeling inferior, feeling unworthy, and my self-perception shifted from a high position to a low one). The reason why I am so concerned about the words of that elder is because we have a psychological need to be loved, especially hoping to be liked and acknowledged by influential elders. When that elder said, \"I am waiting for the day you fall,\" you perceived that he does not like you, is not happy with your achievements, and is even anticipating your downfall. His behavior indeed made you quite sad. I understand that you constantly use this phrase, \"waiting for myself to weaken,\" to confront that elder, or maybe you want to indulge yourself and satisfy his expectations, to please him (that elder). However, there is no need to do this. If you believe that the elder really has something against you, you can directly ask him about it. Ask him, \"Do you expect me to do well?\" and see how he responds. Additionally, Adler, a psychologist, tells us that past experiences do not determine our present lives. What truly determines our lives is how we perceive our past experiences. In other words, what determines our lives is not the past experiences themselves, but rather, how we choose to view these experiences. So, right now, you should focus your energy on creating valuable things and moving towards happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know why, but from the description of the questioner's text, I seem to see a questioner child who is very insecure, lacks a sense of security, and longs to be seen. First, let's organize the information given by the questioner: The questioner mentioned that he had a foster care experience when he was a child. Because his academic performance stood out in the foster family, the caregiver's elder said, \"Wait and see (I'm waiting to see the day you fall).\" In what context did this elder say \"wait and see\"? Is the interpretation of \"wait and see\" as \"I'm waiting to see the day you fall\" the questioner's own interpretation, or did the elder tell you that directly? Why did the questioner need to live and live in a foster family? Where are your parents? The questioner mentioned that I feel that I was not influenced by the other party, but I have a feeling of watching myself fall into weakness, and my attitude is proud, calm, and composed. I feel that this strange attitude towards myself is not groundless. I can only recall the mood when I was spoken to, feeling lost and a collapse of personality (suddenly inferior, may feel unworthy, and the positioning of myself is from high to low, which can be described in this way). The questioner feels that he has not been influenced by the other party, but it may have already affected you at the subconscious level, right? When the questioner first noticed the feeling of wanting to see himself become weaker, did the questioner remember what happened at that time? In fact, the questioner has a great self-awareness ability. Behind every change in feeling, there must be a stimulating event. If possible, the questioner can also record in detail the important things in his own growth experience, see what the meaning of each event is, and then look at the impact of each event on himself. The questioner mentioned what is left, I am very curious, that strange feeling of feeling proud, calm, and composed while waiting for myself to become weaker. It's probably a strangely calm way of speaking to oneself. ... When I read this text description, I feel particularly sad. Which child doesn't want to be excellent, but the questioner wants to see the side of himself that is not excellent. What is the reason? Isn't the questioner curious about himself? The questioner mentioned in the background supplement that it was quite suffocating in the foster family, and leaving is ingratitude. There is only care and polite meals for me, 365 days a year, living there for many years, without any care. I should be sensible. They only treat me like this because of the weak blood relationship, which forms a kind of moral code. And I can't deal with such indifference. I can't calm down to think about this. Based on the description followed by the questioner, I tried to imagine the scene. Such a growth environment is so cruel to a child. Hug the questioner ~ Based on the questioner's current situation, the questioner is somewhat angry with his parents and has anger and entanglement with the foster family. I suggest that the questioner can try to do some psychological counseling, please ask the counselor to help the questioner face the trauma caused by the parents and the foster family, and help you see yourself while healing the trauma, and then reshape a better object relationship. The world and I love you, and I wish you all the best, Qiao Qiao Ting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20516
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I've reached the age to get married but have never been in love?",
        "description": "I have reached the age of marriage, but I have never met someone that I truly love. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, premarital, concept of marriage",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the problem, one can feel the burden and fear of being left behind from the author. Age doesn't seem to be the biggest concern, the biggest worry seems to be \"never having loved someone.\" \"Love\" is something both abstract and real. It can be hard to define, but it can also be felt physically. Moreover, everyone has their own understanding and feelings about it. How does the author understand and feel about \"love\"? Do they have their own standards? What does \"loving deeply\" mean to the author? Embrace the feeling of \"love\" and believe that your \"true love\" is already on its way to find you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand that there is no age limit for marriage in your situation. The reason you have such thoughts is because your environment makes you feel like you should get married once you reach a certain age, but you haven't found someone you truly love. I'm not sure if you mean that someone else loves you or you love someone else when you say \"truly love\". Love is a mutual feeling, and only when you open your heart can you meet your loved one. Maybe it's just a matter of fate, and you can be the best version of yourself, and then meet the person you should love at the best age. If you want to solve this problem, the internet is very developed nowadays, and there are many ways to meet people. It depends on whether you are willing to try and love yourself before meeting your loved one. I hope my answer can help you. I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you! Don't rush into finding a boyfriend and getting married just because of your age, as it is not responsible to yourself. Love should be based on when it's right, not on your age. The right time will come naturally. If you haven't found love yet, it just means you haven't encountered it or it's not the right time yet. Fate will take its course, so love yourself first and you will eventually meet someone who loves and understands you. Never give up hope, believe that you will find someone who truly loves and understands you in the future. In the meantime, take good care of yourself and love yourself. Keep going, you can do it. I'm with you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10631
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling deceived emotionally, I started doubting myself and feeling incomplete. What should I do?",
        "description": "Encountering someone who deceives emotions and manipulates the body has caused me to start doubting myself, feeling incomplete, and extremely suppressed. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, sexual behavior, virgin complex.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Personal opinion: One wrong step in life is like falling into an abyss. In this abyss, whether you create light or get swallowed by darkness, it depends on the depths of your own heart. What is lost cannot be regained. If you feel that you and that person have conflicts, find a way to resolve them. See through the situation and understand the essence. If you truly discover that the person is deceiving your feelings and there is no way to salvage the situation, then leave. Since what is lost cannot be regained, bury the loss in your heart. There is a saying, \"turn grief and anger into strength.\" Indeed, not every thing can be laughed off. This incident will leave scars in your heart, which are difficult to heal and fade away. It lingers like smoke, making you sad and cry, and the world seems gloomy. But keep looking ahead! You cannot control the past, so become the master of your future! Achieve something and bring them to a state of self-disgrace, make them realize how foolish their decision was. Confront the sharp edge of \"incompleteness\" that you speak of. Even if it is sharp, you must be willing to be deeply wounded. Starting from tomorrow, a phoenix that has risen from the ashes will appear before everyone's eyes. Life may not be magnificent, but it should be lived fully without betraying oneself. You may think that my words are exaggerated, that I am speaking without understanding the pain. But in reality, the next move in life can only be taken by oneself. Be the champion of this game, the master of this chessboard. Losing the first knot may make you feel incomplete... girl, you must remember that every girl is an angel and should not despair just because a bit of \"paint\" has stained you. But this \"paint\" can never be washed away! - - Even if it can't be washed away, it doesn't matter! It's not worth it to give up everything for a man who has tainted your pure and beautiful soul. Someday, you will meet someone who loves you, accepts everything about you, treats you with tenderness and delicacy. You can completely give your heart to him and even show him your emotional scars. With him, time won't seem dull anymore, everything will be fine as long as he is there. It's destined that he loves you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Sending you warm hugs~ I can feel that you must be in a lot of pain. Besides the emotional investment, you trusted the other person, but didn't expect to be deceived by them, including being deceived in your own emotions. However, don't punish yourself with someone else's mistakes. Perhaps this is a not-so-good experience, but will it bring you some warnings? For example, in future interpersonal relationships, you can reduce your interactions with such people and protect yourself more. You can trust others, but you need to establish a relationship after mutual understanding. When I am deceived by someone, I also feel that they are being unreasonable and that I am being foolish. But in reality, it is the other person's fault, their actions causing harm to you. You're already feeling sad, so don't blame yourself too much and add more troubles to yourself. Try to do things that make you happy, invest more in enriching your life, it can help reduce the impact of this matter on you. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20915
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do parents always say \"getting married will be better\"? Can it really be better?",
        "description": "Why do parents always say, \"Just get married, and everything will be fine\"? Can it really solve the problem? Is getting married the ultimate solution?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Pre-marriage, Concept of Marriage",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First, let me give you a hug. Talking about marriage in this way is not appropriate. Firstly, phrases like \"everything will get better after getting married\" are just like saying \"everything will get better if you have money.\" They are just expressions. Secondly, just like whether someone will become wealthy or not depends on various factors, we also need to consider many factors when it comes to marriage. Just like those who say \"everything will get better if you have money\" may not be wealthy themselves, or may not necessarily become better off after becoming wealthy. Similarly, those who say \"everything will get better after getting married\" cannot guarantee that you will definitely become better off after marriage. Therefore, it is just an expression. Whether you want to believe it or make any decisions based on it is your own right.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 9,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 9,
            "end": 64,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 64,
            "end": 174,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 174,
            "end": 209,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10408
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling overwhelmed by academic pressure and high expectations from parents, I feel completely inclined to give up on myself. What should I do?",
        "description": "Recently, I have been under a lot of academic pressure, which may be partially due to my parents' high expectations. As a result, I have lost interest in studying. Since I attended a boarding school in junior high, I have had limited communication with my parents. Currently, my academic ranking has dropped by over two hundred places compared to before, and I have completely lost the desire to study. I mentioned wanting to take a break from school before, but my parents did not allow it. They only think that my decline in grades can be improved with more effort. But deep down, I know that's not the case. I have no interest in anything now and often inexplicably feel low. On top of that, my mom has a really bad temper. She always criticizes me over trivial matters and compares me to other children who performed better in exams. She even says that I'm like a hedgehog, always ready to prick people. I don't want to be like this, but now I just feel like giving up completely. Maybe it's better if I didn't exist in this world, so they wouldn't have to bear my moodiness all the time.",
        "keywords": "Growth, work, learning, self-acceptance, student growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand how you feel. Parents' high expectations, criticism, and comparisons can bring you a lot of psychological pressure. Under too much pressure, it's natural to feel overwhelmed and want to give up or avoid it. I agree with your idea that you need to rest and not push yourself too hard right now. However, your parents may not know your true feelings and situation. If talking directly to them doesn't work, you can consider other methods. For example, schools usually have counselors who you can talk to. The counselor will assess your situation and if they think it's necessary to take a break from school, they can communicate with your parents. Counselors are professionals, and their words may convince your parents better. You can also ask your parents to take you to see a psychologist or a counselor. Their diagnosis and advice might be more easily accepted by your parents. Perhaps with the explanation from professionals, your parents can realize that your current behavior, such as losing interest in everything or declining academic performance, is not something you can control, but rather, you need help instead of being blamed. Don't give up on yourself. Your parents may not understand you for now, but at least you need to understand and love yourself. Hugs to you, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16224
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I sleep better if I have insomnia and a headache and can't fall asleep?",
        "description": "I often have insomnia and can't fall asleep. I have difficulty falling asleep and wake up easily. Sometimes, even when I do fall asleep, it is only for 4 or 5 hours. My mind feels very tired and I cannot sleep well. Especially when I can't fall asleep at night, I feel very sad and not at all happy. Taking herbal supplements for sleep or drinking milk with honey doesn't help either. I really wish I could get better sleep every day.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ From your description, it seems that your sleep quality is indeed quite poor, such as having difficulty falling asleep and easily waking up after falling asleep. If none of the measures I suggest are effective for you, you may consider seeking help from a doctor. It is possible that you are sensitive mentally, which may affect your ability to fall asleep. It could also be due to certain issues with your physical functions that make it difficult for you to fall asleep. A professional doctor can help you understand the causes of your insomnia and assist you in adjusting your sleep schedule through medication or psychological therapy. If your sleeplessness is caused by stressful events, you may consider seeking help from a psychologist to address your psychological issues. Wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19476
       },
       {
        "question": "I recently started dating a girlfriend, how do I talk to her about splitting expenses equally?",
        "description": "Hello everyone, recently I started dating a girlfriend for two months and we often go out on dates. Although being in a relationship can be financially demanding, I was able to manage it before because of work. However, recently the company went bankrupt and I suddenly became unemployed, which made me financially tight. She is aware of this situation, but every time we go out, I still end up paying the bill. I don't know what her thoughts are on this matter. I really want to communicate about it, but I don't know what to do or how to express it. After all, we have only known each other for two months, and if we communicate poorly, she might think that I am unwilling to spend money in a new relationship. Moreover, this is a difficult topic for me to bring up. I don't know how to deal with this contradiction. I would like to know if anyone has any good suggestions.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello~~~ First, give you a hug. From the description, it can be understood that: 1. The poster has been having financial problems recently and hopes that both parties can split the bill when dating. 2. But the poster doesn't know how to bring up this matter to their girlfriend. [A little analysis and advice]: 1. In a relationship, guessing the other person's thoughts or waiting for the other person to guess your own thoughts can lead to conflicts and arguments. So it's highly unlikely that the poster's desire to wait for the other person to take the initiative and understand their current situation and provide help will yield results. It's not to say that the girlfriend necessarily values money and doesn't consider the poster's situation; she could also be slow to catch on or simply not paying attention, among other reasons. 2. If the poster is in a relationship with the goal of long-term development and marriage, then being open and honest is actually an behavior that can earn more favor. Clearly tell the other person about the recent financial problems and hope to reduce the frequency of dates or implement a split-bill system for dates. Hope this can help the poster.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It may be better for you to wait until you have a better financial situation before considering a girlfriend. When you have little to no income, finding someone willing to share the ups and downs with you, and even covering basic expenses, may be difficult. Maybe you should consider a different time or perhaps someone from a wealthy background, where you won't have to pay for everything. In this society, not only in relationships but also in friendships, everything requires a giving heart. If you go through life being calculating and focused only on material things, it truly loses its meaning. A good man aspires to explore the world, and money, once earned, can be spent, but at the end of the day, it's true that wealth can come and go.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8173
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I have some problems such as insomnia, mild depression, lack of social interaction, and feelings of inferiority and self-blame?",
        "description": "Due to some traumas, I fell into a state similar to mild depression (not major depressive disorder) during high school. As a result, I graduated from high school without any interpersonal relationships. When I entered college, I became isolated and defensive, in a state of self-abandonment (approaching moderate depression, but not major depressive disorder), and my late nights (quietly getting ready for bed) and late waking hours disturbed my roommate. In addition, my roommate was not very friendly, so I often suspected that they were targeting me (which they actually were), leading to a strong hostility and isolation towards them. Now I feel that I have misunderstood their behavior to an excessive degree (although there was some targeting, it wasn't as extreme as I thought), and it was indeed me who initially excluded and disrespected them (with my sleep schedule). I truly feel remorseful and believe that if it wasn't for me falling into darkness, it wouldn't have turned out this way. This also applies to what happened in high school. Furthermore, my interpersonal relationships are not good now. Although some classmates have a decent impression of me, I already have low self-esteem. Living in the dormitory has made my self-esteem even lower. Although I have stood up for myself, it has only reinforced my people-pleasing personality. I try to please classmates who are relatively close to me, but I can't truly blend in with others and be warm towards them. I'm also not very brave in greeting others. Moreover, my interpersonal relationships are still very weak, and only a few people show a positive attitude towards me. It's not particularly good yet.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, friends, roommates, classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's a significant issue worth paying attention to and discussing. Personally, I'm also still exploring and can only share some advice on interpersonal relationships based on my own experience, hoping to help you, the original poster. 1. Start improving interpersonal relationships by changing your self-perception. No one will be stuck in a state of poor interpersonal relationships forever. If you are willing, you have the opportunity to improve them. When you posed this question, it's assumed that you are willing to make changes. Therefore, dear person, you have the ability to improve and will improve your interpersonal relationships. It may be a bit challenging, but if you persist, you will see improvement. You need to learn to encourage yourself and establish a self-awareness that you can improve and are capable of it. 2. Establish the correct way to make friends. Interactions between people must be based on equal conditions in order to be long-lasting. You may not know how to get along with friends because of your long-term difficulties in making friends. Hence, initially, you might choose to lower your self-esteem and conform to others in order to gain their approval. This approach may make your friendship process smoother initially, as obedient and compliant friends are less likely to reject you. However, dear person, with such an approach, although you've made friends, you will still feel lonely and helpless when encountering difficulties, not knowing who to turn to for help and who to trust. As mentioned in your description, you are not truly familiar with others, unable to be friendly, and afraid to greet others. In reality, you have only made superficial friends, and when the moment comes, you will still be alone. If you want to make real friends, close friends, first, you need to find people who have similar interests and common topics with you. That's the only way to have further development. In fact, you need to approach making friends with an attitude of equality for the other person to respect you and sincerely help you when you are in need. Finally, cultivate your self-confidence and be more open when making friends. Interactions between people involve sensing each other's attitudes towards oneself. If you are more open, others will feel relaxed and natural. If you are too reserved, it will make others cautious and unwilling to interact with you. Finding a good friend to chat about daily life and genuinely care for each other is not easy, but it is achievable. Keep going and good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner, after carefully reading your descriptions, I have gained some understanding of your current troubles. Next, let's analyze the recent events together. You mentioned a history of depression and difficulties getting along with classmates and roommates. However, you had a crucial self-reflection moment where you realized that you had misunderstood their actions and had initially excluded and disrespected them. This cognition is excellent, as it will gradually improve your state of mind. So, I encourage you to reflect on this cognition more deeply. Whenever you have negative thoughts, remind yourself of this cognition, reinforce it several times, and you will be less likely to think negatively about your classmates. This will also increase your self-confidence and willingness to socialize. Give yourself some time, don't expect to have many friends or be familiar with everyone immediately, as this transformation also takes time. Provide yourself with opportunities. You can also use some strategies to get along with everyone. For example, buy them some delicious food or borrow books from them. When you gradually release this goodwill, they will feel it. Gradually, your interpersonal relationships will become more harmonious. I think this is foreseeable, so don't worry too much. You can do it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4875
       },
       {
        "question": "Am I being too dramatic if I frequently get angry in relationships?",
        "description": "My personality is quite good. Since I started dating, everything was fine at first. Whenever we had conflicts, I would sulk and ignore him, and he would come over and softly ask what was wrong. After half a year, I felt that he was not as attentive to me anymore. I expressed my dissatisfaction, but instead of coming to comfort me, he turned around and walked away. A few minutes later, he came back and asked why I was angry. I didn't know what to say, I just felt more and more upset, with increasing feelings of dissatisfaction, and the number of times I sulked also increased. Gradually, after we had arguments, he stopped talking and started giving me the silent treatment. After seven days, on 520 (May 20th), I endured it until the afternoon and spoke to him, sent a red envelope, trying to ease the tension, but his attitude remained cold. I told him I missed him, and he said he was conflicted. I just want to ask, in this situation, am I being immature? Am I being too dramatic? It seems like constantly throwing fits is a sign of depression, but I don't know how I became like this. Am I just not good enough? I just want him to pay more attention to me and spend more time with me...",
        "keywords": "Dating, managing relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the OP (\u0e51\u2022.\u2022\u0e51) Actually, girls are prone to being hesitant and insecure in relationships. This is the side effect of love. However, when this kind of emotion occurs too frequently, it is necessary to regulate it yourself! My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship due to military service. When we were apart for two months, I also felt this way. I worried that our relationship would become less strong and that the love would fade away when we finally met. With various factors at play, my emotions were unstable. But I didn't want to constantly transfer negative energy to him. When I realized that I was overthinking, I found things to do, like writing and working out, to keep myself busy and engaged in my interests. When I shared these with him, I felt that he was also happy. No partner wants to constantly receive negative energy from the other half! Two people should progress and grow together, rather than being trapped in emotions and pulling each other down. As for your boyfriend's attitude, I think it's time to clarify whether he still loves you. It's been seven days without contact, which is enough for you to overthink. You should weigh your options. In fact, there's no need to be indirect if you want to care. Just say, \"I want you to be more attentive, please spend time with me.\" That's enough. Boys don't understand hints too well. I hope you find happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19515
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel anxious and agitated when working, feeling nervous and uneasy, and afraid of making mistakes.",
        "description": "I am 19 years old and have just started working. I don't know why, but I feel extremely afraid of making mistakes at work. I also feel inexplicably nervous. I work as an HR and my job involves making phone calls and sending messages to communicate with others, as well as inviting them for interviews at our company. However, during conversations, I feel a great deal of anxiety and urgency (I believe I have obsessive tendencies). I am very afraid of making mistakes, and I am afraid that people won't reply to my messages or that I will encounter any negative attitudes from them (I think I am a very sensitive person). Even a slight change in someone's expression can make me feel very unsettled. I get very nervous when making phone calls. I feel that others are much stronger than me, and I am afraid of encountering unfriendly attitudes from them, which has led to many negotiations falling through. So, I often avoid looking at my phone or chatting on WeChat at work to avoid contact with people who make me afraid. I have never been liked by others since I was young, and the most common feelings I have had during my growth process are loneliness and being ostracized. What should I do? How can I solve this problem?",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, work pressure.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You can start working at the age of 19, I have to say, compared to your peers, you are already very worthy of encouragement. Most people at this age are not yet capable of handling things on their own, and you need to realize that you have already started your career earlier than them. Keep up the good work. Let's look at your issue again: \"I am very afraid of making mistakes and inexplicably nervous while working.\" First of all, this is a stage that anyone would go through when encountering new things. It is a phase of adjustment and a natural expression. The fundamental reason is that you lack experience and are unaware of the upper and lower limits of your ability in this matter. This stage will gradually improve as you accumulate a certain number of working days in this position. I work as an HR, and my job involves making phone calls and sending messages on the phone to communicate with others, as well as inviting them to come for interviews at our company. Being able to describe your job responsibilities shows that you have reached a stage of reflection, where you can step back from the nervousness of working and evaluate your job state. This is great. Being able to see your state is the first step in improving it. However, you need to examine your internal thoughts. While chatting, I feel a sense of anxiety and urgency (I think I have compulsive tendencies). I am very afraid of making mistakes, afraid that they won't reply to my messages, and very scared to see any attitude from them (I think I am a very sensitive person). Even a simple expression from someone can make me feel very uneasy. When making phone calls, I am very nervous. I feel that others are much stronger than me, and I am afraid of seeing an unfriendly attitude from them, which has caused many things to fail. The core of your job is communication with others, and the main obstacle is that you dare not and fear facing others' feedback. Compulsive anxiety is one aspect, but more importantly, your obstacle lies in the fact that you may subconsciously confuse the \"psychological state that should exist in work\" with the psychological state of \"life.\" Because HR is a job that involves communication and interaction, please note that it is a job, but \"communication and interaction\" itself is also a part of our daily life. Therefore, it is possible that in your daily communication with family and friends, there are tendencies to please others, such as being unable to face and deal with differences, conflicts, or even confrontations with others, or not knowing how to proactively adjust bad interpersonal relationships. The reasons behind this require you to carefully review your past experiences and think: if you have encountered really terrible interpersonal relationships, intimate relationships, let's not worry about how these relationships actually were, ask yourself: were you at fault in these bad relationships? Was it your problem? (Your answer:) I have never been liked by others since I was young, and the most common feelings I have throughout my growth process are loneliness and being excluded. You feel that you are not liked by others, lonely, and excluded, which is actually a self-consciousness of low self-esteem and high self-denial. So, I think your answer to the previous question may be: yes. However, the feeling of \"not being liked by others, being excluded\" is fundamentally subjective. You are a very sensitive person, so you may be very perceptive to the emotions of others, which leads to you feeling excluded. Sensitivity is a double-edged sword: the benefit is that being aware of others' emotions is a natural advantage for HR work. You should use your sensitivity to better communicate with others and overcome the psychological impulse to avoid challenges based on your own successful experiences. The downside is that you may unconsciously magnify others' emotional reactions. In fact, to your work subjects, you are not you. In their eyes, you are a dedicated recruiter, someone with prestige. So don't immerse yourself in your work, it's the HR you in conversation with others, not your personal self. You just need to learn how to effectively utilize your sensitive trait and reconcile it with your work; then your job will definitely go smoothly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Social anxiety disorder is a common psychological issue that many people experience. It primarily depends on the individual's experiences from birth until now, including interactions with parents, friends, teachers, classmates, and colleagues, among others. In order to fundamentally change this lack of confidence, the key is to trust oneself completely and provide sufficient self-encouragement. When facing superiors or loved ones, it is important not to excessively focus on their evaluation. Instead, freely express one's own thoughts. I once heard about a self-motivation course on unlocking one's potential, and I would like to share some of the main exercises with you. 1. Speaking in front of a mirror is more challenging than speaking in front of others. Each of us finds it difficult to identify our own flaws. Therefore, practice speaking in front of a mirror every day. Present the information that needs to be reported to superiors and pay attention to facial expressions and body language reflected in the mirror. Additionally, use a mobile phone to record your speech, and then listen to identify any inappropriate aspects, making necessary improvements. Although it may feel awkward to speak in front of oneself, it is much easier to discover and correct shortcomings compared to being told by others to improve. This exercise can greatly help in building confidence. 2. Exercise is always the easiest way to demonstrate confidence. Continuously set fitness goals for oneself. For example, today I will run one kilometer and do fifty push-ups. Tomorrow I will run one thousand two hundred meters and do seventy push-ups. These goals can be achieved with a little effort, and with persistence, confidence will naturally radiate from within. The person's overall state of mind will be filled with vitality. 3. Engaging in communication and interaction with others. For example, when working on a particular task or engaging in sports, engage in conversations with those who excel in those areas. Absorb their strengths and improve one's own weaknesses. Engage in discussions with those who are slightly less skilled, both helping them improve their weaknesses and strengthening one's own self-confidence. Building and optimizing interpersonal relationships is the bridge to effective communication. When getting along harmoniously with colleagues and loved ones, one will feel more at ease when giving presentations or reports. I hope my answer can be of assistance.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this problem has a huge impact on you. Working at the age of 19 is considered early, and you may not understand many interpersonal issues yet. It is not easy for you. You have a strong self-esteem, but at the age where you still lack work experience, it is indeed difficult for a young adult to cope with. Let's analyze together and hope it helps you. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. You are 19 years old this year and just started working. You don't know why you feel extremely scared of making mistakes at work and you also feel inexplicably nervous (because you are young, because you lack work experience, because you are afraid of making mistakes, because you are afraid of being disliked by others, because it hurts your self-esteem, because of too many unknowns, resulting in anxiety). 2. Your job is in HR and your tasks include making phone calls and sending messages to communicate with others, as well as inviting them to come for interviews at your company (Ideally, your position is more proactive, and the interviewees should come to you. You shouldn't worry too much. However, it seems that your issue is not related to your job, but rather a psychological one. Is that right?). 3. However, during conversations, you feel anxious and in a hurry (you feel like you have an obsessive tendency). You are very afraid of making mistakes, of them not replying to your messages, and you are very afraid of seeing any negative attitudes from them (you think you are a very sensitive person). Even a facial expression from others can make you feel very uneasy (you have a severe fear of the unknown. If we talk about obsessive tendencies, they can be divided into obsessive thinking and obsessive behaviors. Afraid of making mistakes, afraid of people not replying to your messages, we can talk about the extent of it some other time. It seems like there are some obsessive behaviors, as if there are defensive mechanisms of \"offsetting\". However, the information is not particularly accurate, so I dare not make further comments). 4. When making phone calls, you are very nervous and you feel like others are much stronger than you, and you are afraid of seeing unfriendly attitudes towards you, so many things end up going wrong (Do you often have a need to please others psychologically? Ideally, everyone is just human, they might have more experience than you, but it doesn't mean that everything they do is better than you. But if you have such inferiority, it will affect your confidence and influence your actions). 5. Therefore, you often avoid looking at your phone and avoid chatting on WeChat during work, to avoid contact with those who make you feel scared. Throughout your life, you have never been liked by others, and your most common experiences while growing up have been loneliness and being excluded. What should you do? How to solve this problem? (Avoiding looking at your phone is not a solution because work needs to continue. Can you really avoid contact? If you have never been liked by others throughout your life, do your parents not like you either? When you experience loneliness and exclusion, don't your parents help you or comfort you? Don't worry, it's okay. You're only 19 years old, and it's still very possible to adjust your personality. Don't be afraid, I will help you.) Facing the problem: \"When working, feeling anxious, irritable, nervous, and uneasy, afraid of making mistakes\" ~ Is it just at work? What about other times? If it's only at work, that's easier to handle. It will probably only take a couple of consultations to solve the problem. But if it's not just at work and it has already affected your life or intimate relationships, you may need to start investigating from your \"family background\". Presumably, there were problems during your childhood growth ~ Anxiety, irritability, nervousness, uneasiness, and fear of making mistakes are common when people start working. I was the same, trembling even worse than you. Of course, later on, I found a solution and it was fine. Making mistakes is normal, how could a person never make mistakes? They're not gods. If you think you shouldn't make mistakes, then if you do make a mistake, it would be a huge deal. If you think making mistakes is normal, and that you can learn from them and continuously improve, then making mistakes is not scary. It's an essential part of your growth. Because being afraid of making mistakes doesn't mean you won't make them. Have those people who don't like you and exclude you never made mistakes? Haven't they thought it was a big deal either? You need to adjust some of your thoughts and experiences, so you can gain more positive and successful experiences inside you and then you won't fear anymore. Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you open up yourself and grow up quickly! No more fear! No more anxiety! If you have any doubts, you can private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Growth is finding a breakthrough in this circle, changing the trajectory, spiraling growth, and becoming a better self. Journey of the heart: Beginning: The poster is 19 years old this year and has just started working in HR, with daily tasks involving communicating with others and inviting them for interviews at the company. Call for help: Recently, during the process of communicating with others, the poster realizes that they always feel anxious and rushed. Assistance: They begin to try some methods to reduce this fear and anxiety. Departure: They deliberately avoid looking at their phone and chatting on WeChat during work, avoiding contact with people who make them fearful. Test: The nature of their job is to communicate with others, and in work and life, they come into contact with people of all kinds, so it is impossible to avoid this issue. Approaching crisis: The more they avoid, the more sensitive they become. Gradually, other people's behaviors, expressions, and attitudes make them very anxious. Crisis: This avoidance, tension, and fear in their work and life have led to many things falling apart for them and to missing out on many things. Treasure: The current state of their work reminds them of not being liked when they were young. The most common feeling they have had throughout their growth process is loneliness and exclusion. They suspect they have symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Conclusion: The anxiety in their work and life is like a stone pressing on their heart, severely affecting their life and work, and causing significant psychological pressure. Life circle: The circle they have created for themselves is being afraid of making mistakes, and the more they fear making mistakes, the more they make mistakes. This leads to them feeling a great deal of psychological pressure, which in turn worsens their anxiety, and they continue to work in this state. Circle: Work \u2013 Fear of making mistakes \u2013 Making mistakes at work \u2013 Avoidance \u2013 Anxiety \u2013 Work. Exploring the reasons: Lack of self-confidence: The poster has just started working and is unfamiliar with everything. They can say that they were not ready to work, but work has already started. They lack confidence in their work, leading to their worries and fears. Innate personality: The nature of their work involves communicating and chatting with people, but their innate personality is not good at conversation and communication. The nature of their work presents a great challenge to their innate personality. Changing the trajectory: Building confidence: Starting a new job, making mistakes is inevitable because they will face many unknowns. They should view this with a calm mindset. Starting a job means continuously trying and making mistakes, while also learning from the experience. Each avoidance of making mistakes is an opportunity for growth. Breaking through innate personality: The poster realizes that their personality may be related to their experiences from childhood to adulthood. This is actually a challenge for themselves. In their innate personality, they may take themselves too seriously, thinking that their slightest actions would be viewed with strange eyes by others. They need to learn to view others and themselves with equality. They are not as important in others' eyes as they think, and the same goes for others. They don't need to be too concerned about how their actions affect others or how others' actions affect them. Very few people truly care about these things. Similarly, when inviting others for interviews, the same applies. Other people will also face invitations from others, and the probability of mutual selection is very low. Learning to communicate: Communication is something that can be learned. In communication, listening is important. They should listen to identify problems and needs, and then express their own needs in a way that others prefer. They can buy books on communication and try to learn communication skills. Building confidence \u2013 Breaking through innate personality \u2013 Learning to communicate \u2013 Changing the trajectory \u2013 Spiral growth \u2013 Becoming a better self. I'm 19 years old and have just started working. I don't know why I feel extremely afraid of making mistakes while working, and I also inexplicably feel very nervous. I work as an HR and my tasks involve making phone calls and sending messages on my phone to communicate with others for work, as well as inviting them to come for interviews at our company. But when chatting, I feel a sense of anxiety and urgency (I think I have obsessive tendencies). I'm afraid of making mistakes, and I'm very scared that people won't reply to my messages. I'm also afraid of seeing any attitude from them (I think I'm a sensitive person). Even a simple expression from others makes me feel unsettled. I feel very nervous when making phone calls. I feel that others are much stronger than me, and I'm afraid of seeing unfriendly attitudes from them. As a result, many things fall apart for me. So, I often avoid looking at my phone and chatting on WeChat during work to avoid contact with people who make me afraid. Throughout my life, I've always been disliked by others, and the most common feeling I have during my growth process is loneliness and being excluded. What should I do? How can I solve this problem?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are still young and just starting to look for a job. Typically, the people being hired are older and more experienced than you, so it's normal to feel nervous due to your lack of experience. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and remind yourself that even if you make small mistakes, it's not a big deal. You are still growing and as you gain more experience and interact with more people, you will naturally become more confident. Your fear of not receiving a reply or seeing the other person's reaction is all in your imagination. Perhaps it is because of your past experiences of being excluded that subconsciously make you feel that every action the other person takes is directed towards you negatively. But the reality is not like that, and you know it. You are just struggling to change your way of thinking. So, you need to constantly remind yourself of what reality truly is. For example, if the candidate you reached out to doesn't reply to your message, it could be because they have sent out multiple applications and don't think this position is suitable for them, or maybe they have already found a job. It is highly unlikely that they are not responding because they dislike you as an HR representative since their main concern is the job's salary and responsibilities, not your relationship with them. As for interpreting other people's expressions, you must resist and rationalize your initial thoughts. For example, if you feel that the other person is being rude to you because they have something against you, their behavior is likely influenced by other factors such as what they have experienced that day, their own thoughts, and their personal goals. Everyone is self-focused, so it is rare for someone to genuinely target you specifically. Therefore, you need to continuously convince yourself that they do not have ill intentions. Additionally, since you are young and inexperienced, facing failure in the workplace is normal. So, you need to continuously improve your professional skills and expertise with a humble attitude. View your current failures as learning experiences, even if they are indeed caused by your actions. If so, you will understand why it happened, and you can take note of the solution to this problem and consult with more experienced colleagues. Eventually, you will internalize these skills and accumulate a wealth of experience in five or ten years. By then, you will be in your early thirties but have a significant amount of experience that you cannot compare to now. Many people start over in their thirties, so why not treat these ten years as practice? Maybe having this mindset will make you feel better. Young people should be patient and tolerant with themselves. Approach everything with rational and growth-oriented thinking, and believe that one day you will reap the fruits of your efforts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for your trust. I suggest considering the problems you encounter from three perspectives. 1. The job itself: HR is a profession that requires frequent contact with strangers and constant interaction with various people. For whatever reason, you chose this job, and it has indeed presented you with some challenges. 2. Ourselves: \"I have never been liked by others since I was young, and the most common feelings I have had during my growth are loneliness and exclusion.\" Regardless of the job we engage in, there may be some differences in interacting and communicating with others, but it is inevitable. Therefore, we need to make efforts and adjustments to adapt better. 3. Compatibility with our job: Among the basic skills required for HR, which ones do we possess or even excel at? Which ones do we currently lack but are willing to change? Which ones do we currently lack and cannot change? All of these are worth pondering.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Starting to work at the age of 19 is already quite challenging, considering how young you are. You shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself. Compared to many people your age, you have entered the workforce earlier, which is an advantage for you. It's also a moment for gaining experience and personal growth. Working in HR requires dealing with people, conducting interviews, and managing interpersonal relationships, which test your ability to handle and coordinate such relationships. As an individual, you need confidence and independence. If you feel that you haven't been liked since you were young and have experienced exclusion, it might be due to certain events that have made you feel fearful and lacking in security, resulting in difficulties in interacting with others. If that's the case, you need to strengthen your communication skills and ability to express yourself. Engage in more communication with colleagues at work, interact with others in a friendly and open manner, and be able to express yourself in a genuine way. You can also read books on interpersonal relationships and communication, learn from experiences, and find ways to adjust yourself. Additionally, if you find it difficult to adjust and lack problem-solving skills, it may be helpful to seek professional help to face your own issues, get counseling, and work on resolving the conflicts between your thoughts and emotions. This will help you find ways to change this series of difficulties. With time and the accumulation of experience and improvement in your work, you will gradually see improvements in this issue.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "A college student majoring in human resource management passed by, firstly I express understanding and sympathy for your situation. Following your line of thinking, since this job has been tormenting you and you want to avoid making mistakes, why not just switch to another job and completely bid farewell to this unpleasantness? It's not that you aren't good, it's just that this job is not suitable for you! Stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault at all! In my opinion, the simplest and most effective solution is to recommend switching to a different job. Enhancing yourself is the best way to alleviate anxiety and tension. Shift your attention to self-improvement, and I believe you will be much better. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First, give yourself a hug. The impression I get is that you seem to have an unfair judgment about your own self-worth. You have already assumed that you won't be liked, so you unconsciously undervalue your own worth at work. This has also caused physical reactions in your body. The next time you experience physical reactions, maybe you can stay with your emotions for a while and ask yourself what you're really thinking. Are these thoughts really valid? Allow yourself to acknowledge the existence of negative emotions, don't avoid them. Tell your emotions that you see them and that you allow their presence. These negative emotions yearn for your acknowledgment, letting you know they exist. Only by acknowledging them can you bring about change.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21777
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently in a state of low depression, I often stay up late reading novels, and I am not engaged in my work. What should I do?",
        "description": "Recently, I have been staying up late reading novels and not being fully engaged in work. What should I do? It has been seven to eight months.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing that this is the latest problem, let me start. I have encountered this problem myself, and perhaps most people are also facing this problem. So, I can relate to it and based on my own experience, I would like to give some advice to the original poster. Let's start with online novels. Nowadays, there are various types available and they are indeed very enjoyable to read. They can be so captivating that you can't stop reading, and some well-written ones can make readers feel like they are immersed in the story, fantasizing themselves as the protagonist of the novel. Looking forward to the updates. Let's take the popular fantasy novels as an example. It's basically about a weak male protagonist who overturns his destiny. However, if we look at it from a different perspective, doesn't this also represent opportunities in real life? These weak protagonists often possess qualities such as not giving up, daring to take risks, and being willing to work hard, which is why they are favored. What about the readers themselves? Perhaps they lack those qualities that the protagonist possesses. This may be the appeal of these novels, as they make readers also anticipate the possibility of encountering great opportunities and soaring to new heights someday. But you have to understand that nobody's success happens overnight. Ordinary people can't achieve everything without making efforts. Now, let's talk about the readers. Why do you read novels? Just for the sake of spiritual satisfaction? Why do you postpone doing things that you can do at the age of 80 to when you should be working hard? What can you gain from reading novels? Yeah, you say that you are already working. Then, isn't it time to consider your career? Isn't it time to think about the future? Shouldn't you set some plans and goals for yourself? The most important point I want to emphasize is that you mentioned being in a depressed state recently. Is it because of relationship issues or work problems? Actually, no matter what the problem is, no matter what hardships you face, as long as you believe in yourself, have dreams in your heart, and the spark in your eyes, you will definitely overcome it. Find the root cause of the problem and try to solve it. If you have any questions, you can leave a message for me. Keep going, original poster. I believe you can get through this period of depression. Good luck~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 16315
       },
       {
        "question": "Good friends have been working hard recently and I am afraid that she will surpass me. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am always stingy with my good friends, but I am very nice to ordinary classmates. Previously, my good friend did not study hard, so my grades are better than hers. She has been studying hard recently, but I am afraid she will surpass me. I don't want to interact with her much lately. What should I do? I'm really afraid of her surpassing me.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, friends.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand how you feel, sending you a big hug~ Let's talk through your thoughts and hopefully give you some insight~ You mentioned that you're very scared of your close friend achieving better grades than you. So, an important question to ask is, what would happen if she surpasses you? In other words, why do you feel afraid of her surpassing you? Ask yourself this question and I believe you'll have some answers. What do you think will happen after she surpasses you? Will she mock you or look down on you? Will she show off and annoy you? But regardless of what happens, what you're truly afraid of is your imagination. You think that something unpleasant will happen, but it's very likely that it won't. From an objective standpoint, whether her grades surpass yours or not, it doesn't have a direct impact on you, you are still you. Moreover, since she is a good friend, you should hope that she achieves even better grades not just for the sake of blessing her, but also because her success can serve as motivation for you. You can see her as a fair competitor or a role model, and you can learn from each other and progress together. So, it's necessary to examine your thoughts and beliefs and consider whether her surpassing you truly affects you. Will her surpassing you bring positive effects to yourself? Try looking at this issue from a different perspective, and don't let something that is completely the responsibility of others affect you. Ultimately, what matters most is your own achievements, rather than seeking affirmation or even superiority through comparisons. Wishing you well~",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1400
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling like always telling \"lies\" for work, feeling frustrated, not liking it like this?",
        "description": "We cannot avoid dealing with others and collaborating with them in work. However, when I become a project planner, I always have to allocate tasks to other colleagues. I worry that if I directly assign tasks to them, they may not feel engaged, but if I don't assign tasks directly, there may be some discrepancies. Sometimes, my colleagues don't cooperate, and I really want to get angry, but I have to go against my own feelings and say thank you to everyone for their cooperation and appreciate their hard work... I don't like these kinds of situations, and I don't like myself in these situations either...",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts, colleagues.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~ First, let me give you an encouraging hug. I completely understand how you're feeling right now. As a project planner, it's natural to feel worried that your employees might not be motivated or engaged in their work. That's why you might find yourself saying things that seem like you're seeking help from others, which can make you feel uncomfortable. This is a very normal phenomenon because we lose ourselves and no longer feel like ourselves. Whether it's in our family or in society, as members of society, many things we do are not driven by our inner feelings. For example, in our family, when our parents argue, we are forced to choose sides or mediate between them, but deep down, it's not what we want to do, we may actually want to leave home at that moment. At work, we have to deal with our bosses and lead our employees, and many of our words and actions are not truly heartfelt. Of course, if you are really feeling uncomfortable, you can completely change your leadership and organizational style. For example, you can learn how other planners lead their teams. Or you can take a lazy approach, which is to refuse to be a planner, but this method is not recommended. I hope you can adjust yourself soon, succeed in your career, and rise up step by step. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2602
       },
       {
        "question": "There is a particularly sensitive person in the self-study room. How can one adjust their mentality? How can one find a balance?",
        "description": "The study room has a girl who is particularly sensitive to noise. She makes very loud noises when flipping through books and often sighs loudly. However, as soon as others make any noise, she immediately criticizes them like a moral warrior. I really dislike her psychologically, and I have confronted her about it. I am quite direct and haven't shown complete patience. She doesn't seem to notice my dissatisfaction and continues to make loud noises. Moreover, I feel like she is somewhat targeting me as she always insists on closing the window that I opened. However, in order to avoid conflicts with her, I make very little noise, which makes it difficult for me to fully concentrate, and my studying speed has also slowed down. How can I adjust my mindset? Teachers or experienced friends, how do you balance this?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on the situation you described, I'd like to share my thoughts with you, is that okay? \n1. \"There is a girl in the study room who is particularly sensitive to noise. She makes loud noises when flipping through books and often sighs loudly. But when others make noise, she immediately acts like a moral warrior and goes to criticize them.\" From the situation you described, it seems that you have encountered someone who is only willing to satisfy themselves without understanding or empathizing with others. \n2. \"I really dislike her psychologically, and I have dealt with her before. I tend to be straightforward and not completely tolerant.\" It is normal to dislike her in this situation: in public places, she should also have some moral qualities. It is not wrong for you to express your thoughts correctly. \n3. \"She seems to not notice my dissatisfaction, and she still makes loud noises. Moreover, I feel that she is targeting me because she always wants to close the window I opened.\" She should have noticed your dissatisfaction and is now taking a confrontational approach by using her actions to resist your \"dealings\" with her. \n4. \"But in order to avoid conflicts with her, I keep my voice very low, which makes it difficult for me to fully concentrate and slows down my learning speed.\" It is evident that you are very considerate of others. Although you don't want to disturb others, she still flips books loudly. This world is inherently diverse, and there will be people with different personalities. We go to the study room to find a quiet and undisturbed environment. If the studying atmosphere is not good, what is the point of going to that study room? Why don't we look for a new study room within our own range of life? We can think about things differently in some aspects, and perhaps our emotional state will be different. In psychology, there is a theory called the ABC theory of emotions: it was created by American psychologist Albert Ellis. He believes that the triggering event (A) is only an indirect cause of emotions and behavioral consequences (C), and the direct cause of C is the individual's cognitive evaluation and belief (B) about the triggering event. That is to say, the negative emotions (C) of a person are not directly caused by a particular triggering event (A), but are directly caused by the individual's cognition and evaluation of it, which leads to beliefs (B). In other words, the same behavior of the same person may be interpreted differently by different people, thus leading to different emotional outcomes. Think about it: if you brush off her rude behavior, this matter will not create ripples in your heart. You may find another study room to get away from her, and she will not be a bother to you. I hope this can be of help to you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2702
       },
       {
        "question": "Bizarre roommate, who ignores everything and comes and goes early, how to continue living with her?",
        "description": "Junior student, I have a roommate. When we first started living together in my freshman year, I thought her personality was okay. If you talk to her, she will chat with you, and if you ask her for help with things like taking food, she will also help you. But over time, I noticed that she is a bit sensitive. Sometimes if you use a harsh tone or say something wrong, she may start sulking. No matter what you say to her, she won't respond and will just stay in bed with the curtains closed, creating a low-pressure atmosphere in the entire dorm room. At first, everyone got along quite well, but I don't know why, she stopped talking to anyone in our dorm room. Every morning, she leaves the room before anyone else wakes up, and she only comes back when it's almost time to turn off the lights at night. When you try to talk to her, she responds very stiffly, making it awkward for us to interact with her. I don't know how to get along with her anymore.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, roommates, classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) Recently, you have been coming home late and not interacting with anyone. (2) You want to know how to continue getting along with him. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: (1) First, you mentioned that your roommate's personality is generally okay, but after spending time together, you noticed that he may be sensitive and easily gets upset. This is actually quite normal, as everyone has different points of concern and ways of expressing emotions. It is just that her way of expressing emotions is different from others. (2) Secondly, you said that recently your roommate has been coming home late and not talking to anyone. You are concerned about why this is happening. I suggest sending her a text message to ask how she's been lately, just to show your care. However, try to avoid using a confrontational tone, as it may not only hurt her but also help you understand the truth of the situation. (3) Lastly, you are unsure how to get along with him. It seems like you genuinely want to have a harmonious relationship with your roommate. I understand that you hope for a peaceful atmosphere, but remember that your roommate cannot be forced into being a friend. Alongside showing concern, it is important for us to live our own lives well, don't you think? #The world and I love you, wishing you all the best~",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21730
       },
       {
        "question": "I am curious about myself and would like to understand the reasons behind my thoughts and behaviors.",
        "description": "For example, during the process of memorizing, I always have self-doubt and feel that what I am memorizing is useless. Either I want everything or I feel that it is not important. I want to pursue perfect memorization, where I only memorize what will be tested. But this is unattainable, and it makes me anxious. I find myself unable to continue memorizing halfway through, and there is a faint voice in my mind saying, \"Forget it, just leave it like this.\" What is even stranger is that when I can't continue memorizing, I expect my roommates to be the same as me, unable to continue. And when they are studying and I'm not, I get nervous and afraid that they will surpass me. This happens in many aspects of my life. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I know these thoughts are not right when they come up, but they persist every time. Also, I only have shallow relationships with others, without deeper connections. Is this related to these thoughts? I am afraid of failure, being forgotten, people knowing my weaknesses, and being lonely. I think about changing every day, but I never take action. How can I start moving and find my own direction?",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, personality traits, self-improvement.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner always has various thoughts in his mind when facing uncertain things. Everyone experiences this situation, so there is no need to judge oneself too harshly. The ultimate choice of which voice to listen to determines the outcome of the situation. It is evident that you have been listening to the noise rather than the voice of your heart. From the description of your living and studying situation in the dormitory, it is clear that your past family has made many judgments about you, using comparisons to evaluate your worth. This has caused you to determine your own value in comparison with others. When it comes to studying, there will be various distractions. It is like the clouds that cover the sun. You have identified with the clouds and cannot see the sun. This is related to the fact that your past feelings and thoughts were not allowed. It is a task you need to clean up and face. Pay more attention to your own feelings in daily life, and do more of what makes you feel peaceful and joyful. Allow your inner feelings to be expressed. In the constant accumulation of certainty, you will hear the voice of your heart. This voice will be what you truly want, an unshakable presence like the sun. I wish you can return to your inner self and regain the strength to be yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4260
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does someone's appearance feel different?",
        "description": "The photos were taken in 2011, 2015, and 2020, respectively. Although I didn't do much makeup, I feel different in each photo. Why is that?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, as they say: \"A woman changes a lot by the time she turns 18\". As time goes by, our bodies undergo some changes, such as changes in facial appearance, the emergence of forehead wrinkles, skin aging with the appearance of wrinkles, the decline in the functioning of body organs, and the inconvenience in leg movements, among other common things. Life, aging, sickness, and death are all natural laws, and we should accept them with a positive attitude and face them calmly. I believe that as long as our mindset is good and we have a youthful heart, age doesn't matter. I wish the original poster a happy and carefree life, forever 18!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14364
       },
       {
        "question": "There is considerable variation among individuals in their degree of extroversion, self-esteem, and fear of others, as well as their propensity for comparing themselves to others.",
        "description": "I am a Leo girl, very insecure, and I think I look ugly and fat. However, I like to compare myself with others. I feel envious and sad when I see girls who are very beautiful. Why can't I be so good-looking? I also feel that I'm not likable, only outgoing and talkative people are likable. I feel like a failure, very lonely, sobbing.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-improvement.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I noticed your inner uneasiness and I'm sending you a hug. In the process of growth and awakening, we often experience anxiety and self-doubt. Leo is said to be the most confident zodiac sign, but it seems that we can't fully rely on astrology. Let me give you some advice: try to see yourself from a different perspective. You mentioned that you like to compare yourself to others, and it made me wonder, what standards do you use for comparison? How do you define beauty? We can only say that some people align more with the mainstream aesthetic. Does having double eyelids automatically make someone more attractive than those with single eyelids? Does being thin automatically make someone more attractive than someone who is overweight? There are people who will appreciate you for who you are. Make a change. The person who is in pain should be the one to change. If you've read the previous suggestion and still can't accept yourself as you are, then make a change. If you feel fat, start exercising; if you feel ugly, learn about fashion and makeup; if you feel unlikeable, learn how to interact with others and improve your emotional intelligence. If you want to compare yourself, please do so in a comprehensive manner and don't just focus on the aspects where others surpass you. Some people may be more attractive than you, but their work abilities may not be as strong as yours; some people may excel in their work, but their personalities may not be as good as yours. Everyone has their own unique characteristics, and no one can outshine you completely. I hope you can find your own strength.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "I am also a Leo sign and I enjoy comparing myself to others. Why are other people's legs longer, why are others fairer, why do others have such good memory, why do others have a better family environment, why can others act cute? There are many questions and comparisons. However, after chatting with classmates and friends, I learned that we also have qualities that they want. We often see the better parts of others, but we often overlook our own outstanding qualities. Let's magnify our own strengths, write down 10 good qualities about ourselves every day, and tell ourselves that we are great. As for the areas that we envy in others, let's start with the most urgent part, set a plan, and gradually improve ourselves.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 11348
       },
       {
        "question": "The mother's unwillingness to let her daughter get married or work denotes what psychological state?",
        "description": "I see a report about a mother who does not allow her daughter to marry and does not want her to work either. She only hopes to keep her by her side and never leave her. What kind of mentality is this?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, I am also curious about why this mother \"does not allow her daughter to marry and does not want her to work, only wants to keep her by her side\". Because your text is simple and limited in information, I can only make some assumptions and try to analyze it. Firstly, aside from psychological factors, I don't know if there are any practical reasons why the mother cannot let her daughter live independently, such as health or economic reasons. Returning to the psychological factors, from the surface or conscious level, the most likely possibility is that this mother is too attached to her daughter and cannot bear the emotional void that would arise if her daughter were to leave home. However, from the subconscious level, there may be different reasons, which would require more comprehensive information for analysis. It could be due to a highly fused mother-daughter relationship, or perhaps some kind of \"jealousy\" where the mother does not allow her daughter to \"grow up\". These specific cases require specific analysis.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 20642
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I deal with excessive suspicion that prevents me from forming intimate relationships with others?",
        "description": "I tend to maintain a skeptical attitude towards the people around me, afraid of others disliking me and afraid of being deceived by others. I am a perfectionist in terms of emotions and extremely sensitive, so I am unwilling to trust anyone and always feel that others have ulterior motives. I have difficulty establishing intimate relationships, but on the other hand, I yearn for good friends and the ability to establish close relationships with others. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-improvement.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory states that individuals always have a strong emotional and belonging need, and they long to establish good and enduring intimate relationships with others. This need allows us to build friendships, experience love, and increase our sense of well-being. We all hope to establish good intimate relationships and feel the companionship and true love within these relationships. However, during this process, we will inevitably encounter various challenges and difficulties. Intimate relationships require learning and practice. Firstly, we need to clarify which type of intimate relationship we belong to. Psychological research suggests that the attachment characteristics exhibited by children will continue to manifest in adulthood, so adults have attachment classifications similar to those of children. A. Secure attachment: It is easy for them to get close to others and they do not feel distressed due to excessive dependency or abandonment by others. Such lovers also enjoy love in safe and loyal interactions, and their relationships can be satisfying and long-lasting. They make up about 70% of the population. B. Anxious-ambivalent attachment: They lack trust in others and tend to have strong possessiveness and jealousy. Their relationships with the same person may repeatedly break, and they tend to become easily agitated and angry during conflicts. They make up about 10% of the population. C. Avoidant attachment: They are prone to avoiding intimate relationships, showing less interest in such relationships, and have a tendency to escape from them. They are both afraid of and reject others. They may end up in purely sexual relationships without love. They make up about 20% of the population. Traces of childhood experiences can be found in adult behavior. In addition, the interaction between parents in childhood will also be internalized into the child's heart, exerting a significant influence on their future intimate relationships. Perhaps you can find some clues from your childhood experiences and interactions with your parents. Finally, here are a few suggestions: 1. First, establish an intimate relationship with yourself. When you truly know yourself, understand yourself, and accept yourself, and establish a good self-identity and sense of value, only then can you truly love yourself and accept your imperfections. This will be an important foundation for us to love others and accept their perfection and imperfection. 2. Understand the importance of giving and dare to self-disclose. Because it is not easy to cultivate intimate relationships, there are not many truly meaningful intimate relationships in a person's life. If we can maintain mutual connection, share, understand, and accept each other while retaining our own individuality, then the intimate relationship will be more enduring and fulfilling.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Through your description, I can sense your insecurity in interpersonal relationships. This yearning yet fearful feeling is indeed quite tormenting. So what can we do? Take it little by little, step by step, and open up gradually. Building healthy interpersonal relationships is a skill that needs to be learned and practiced. When should we open up? How much should we open up? How do we protect our boundaries? How do we handle conflicts?... Fear and anxiety can hold us back, but what we can do is: 1. Improve our self-protective ability, 2. Enhance our resilience against pressure, 3. Enhance our self-healing ability. These are all things we can slowly explore and find the communication and interaction style that suits us best, where we feel comfortable and at ease. Just thinking without taking action only adds to our worries. By getting out and about, we may find our own little corner of the world. If, by any chance, you encounter setbacks and feel upset, come back here and confide in us. We will face it together, discuss it together, and accompany you through it.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good evening! In psychology, there is a term called projection. The projection effect refers to the tendency to attribute one's own characteristics to others. When perceiving and forming impressions of others, there is a phenomenon of assuming that others have similar traits to oneself, projecting one's emotions, will, and characteristics onto others and imposing them on others, which is a cognitive barrier known as the \"doom-loop\". For example, a kind-hearted person may believe that others are also kind-hearted. So, are you unwilling to believe in yourself? In building intimate relationships, I think it is important to first learn to love yourself, listen to your own feelings, encourage and accept yourself. When we see our own strengths, we can also see the strengths of others. Everyone wants to be noticed, praised, and respected. Likewise, when we have these qualities in our hearts, we can give them to others. So, my dear, try to praise yourself every day, acknowledge what you can do, change your mood, and it will change your energy field. When you look into the eyes of others, they will look back at you differently. Give it a try and good luck!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9488
       },
       {
        "question": "Every time I argue with my mother, I feel like I'm unnecessary and want to die.",
        "description": "Lately, I have been having thoughts of whether I am unnecessary and have had a few suicidal tendencies.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, topic master, hello, give you a hug~ After reading many studies, in the eyes of most children, the mother always ranks first. Even if the mother sometimes scolds the child, the child still loves the mother very much. This is due to instinct, which determines from birth that the child has an inseparable connection with the mother. So I can understand why you feel so sad when you have conflicts with your mother, because you love your mother, and you also believe that your mother is the person who loves you the most in the world. From your description of \"feeling redundant every time you argue with your mother,\" I can imagine that when you argue with your mother, she has said some hurtful things that have made you doubt your own existence, or you have said some things that have saddened your mother. I know that the words spoken when you are angry are not what you really wanted to express. You are just temporarily blinded by emotions and speak without thinking. Gratitude increases happiness. Studies have shown that gratitude can reduce individual psychopathological symptoms and increase happiness. When you argue with your mother, the emotion of anger fills your minds and hearts, causing you to make many wrong decisions and even forget the joy and happiness that you bring to each other, as well as forgetting gratitude. Understanding gratitude is important, not only for children to be grateful to their parents, but also for parents to be grateful for the happiness and pride their children bring to them. If we only focus on being dominated by angry emotions and forget the efforts we have made for each other, our behavior will be like an out-of-control beast, doing things that we will regret, and in the end, it is our family that gets hurt. So you must communicate with your parents calmly and always remember the joy and comfortable life that your parents have brought to you, maintain a grateful heart, and then you will not be clouded by anger.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 6429
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does the mind feel so noisy at night? It's like many people are talking.",
        "description": "When it's late at night and the surroundings are quiet, I usually read an e-book before going to sleep. However, sometimes I feel like my phone is far away from me, and my mind constantly feels noisy, as if many people are talking, both male and female voices. I can't understand what they're saying, it's like whispering.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, somatic response, disease diagnosis, abnormal behavior.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! This situation really needs to be carefully assessed to rule out the possibility of hallucinations. You can ask your family if they also hear these sounds, that is, whether there really are the sounds you hear from the outside. Is this noise you hear real, or is it a psychological feeling? Is this sound coming from the outside or is it coming from your mind? As a precaution, it is still recommended to consult a psychiatrist.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11016
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the psychological reason behind the inability to let go of peculiar emotional experiences?",
        "description": "I have a long-distance relationship with a boy, and I always feel like he doesn't care about me. He is always busy with work, studying, or other things. We have very little time to chat, and I'm always the one initiating the conversation. However, he never seems interested. Gradually, I've become hesitant to share everything with him as before, afraid of his indifference. He has depression, and he often says he is slow to warm up. I recently cut off contact with him, which was my decision. But after thinking calmly, I feel guilty because he is actually okay, and I've gotten used to his depression. I've expressed not wanting to keep in touch a few times before, but I still reached out to him shamelessly afterwards. Now, I want to reconnect, but I feel irresponsible towards him, so I haven't contacted him. However, I've been having trouble sleeping lately and can't seem to let go. What kind of messed up mentality is this?",
        "keywords": "Dating, winning back an ex, arguing, relationship management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From your description, I can understand that 1. You feel insecure in your online relationship and it seems like the other person doesn't care about you. 2. You feel reluctant to cut off contact, but also feel that maybe the two of you are not suitable for each other. [A little analysis and advice] 1. In any romantic relationship, it is possible to have this kind of anxious and insecure feeling. Especially for girls who are more sensitive, this mindset is even more common. It is normal to hope for a response from the other person because you have always been the one taking the initiative and feel uncomfortable. 2. When you cannot make a decision about the relationship, you might consider the advice of friends and family. Think back to your exchanges with the other person, what kind of person are they? What are their strengths and weaknesses? Is it worth investing your emotions in them for a long time? Then make a decision about the relationship, which might be more prudent. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15364
       },
       {
        "question": "How to deal with always having a hesitant attitude towards what others say?",
        "description": "For example, during a job interview, when discussing salary, performance, and vacation time with a company, if uncertainties arise, the topic may be postponed until later or until after the probation period. Always approaching with a hesitant attitude, if after starting the job, it is discovered that things are not as advertised, it can feel very disappointing. Therefore, besides reputable companies, I always feel hesitant towards small and personal businesses. I am aware that some bosses may be reliable, but I still have doubts in my mind. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, midlife crisis, job selection skills.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Master, generally registered companies will have information. Perhaps you can also ask your relatives and friends around if they have heard of that company or if they can help you inquire. Maybe when you go for the job interview, you can also observe the company's environment, the discipline of the employees, and whether the company's display and layout are comfortable. Wishing you a smooth job search! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11064
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is my boyfriend's mother always interfering in our relationship, even after dating for 4 years?",
        "description": "During the four years of dating, my boyfriend's mother always likes to come and stay at the place where we live. She would stay for a week and only go back on weekends, then automatically return the following Monday. She also tells my boyfriend about many of her opinions towards me, which has caused long-term arguments between me and my boyfriend. Additionally, it has almost completely killed our sex life, to the point where we only have it once every two to three months. My boyfriend and I are only 26 years old, yet we are already in a state of almost no sexual activity. Please advise on what to do in this situation.",
        "keywords": "Love, arguments, relationship management, sexual behavior.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! You have been in a relationship with your boyfriend for 4 years, and his mother has always been involved, creating a triangular relationship. Or maybe they have a symbiotic relationship, and you are seen as an outsider. As a result, there has been a long period of no sex and constant fighting. Is that correct? It seems like the mother sees her child as \"absolutely dependent\" on her, which is a pathological symbiosis. I think your boyfriend might have tried to break free from his mother's control and attempted to leave, but ultimately failed and completely gave up his boundaries, allowing his mother to freely control him. And this mother might feel a sense of \"being deprived,\" knowing that her child might become intimate with another woman, which is something she cannot accept internally but cannot prevent in reality. So, she constantly instills negative thoughts about you, causing you two to fight. This has become their long-term way of interacting, and your boyfriend's psychological development is not that of an adult. He is unable to think and solve problems independently, leaving your relationship to continue deteriorating. Being in a relationship with someone who has a severely symbiotic relationship with their parent requires you to first accept it, make the mother let go of her hostility, and give the child the courage and motivation to be independent. This requires tremendous patience and psychological capacity. It's difficult to change in a short period of time. I suggest that, if possible, you seek family counseling to help you adjust your way of interacting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12940
       },
       {
        "question": "My friend's wife is saying she doesn't want to live anymore, what should I say to persuade her?",
        "description": "A friend and his wife have a strained relationship. Recently, due to some trivial family matters, his wife has been crying and screaming at home, saying that life is unbearable and even mentioning suicide. My husband and I have a good relationship with them. How should we persuade them at their home? Can anyone help?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing your description, I suggest that you not meddle in other people's affairs. If you are taking the man's side to persuade, you will surely not be biased towards the woman. If you stand from the woman's perspective, you will not be biased towards the man. As the saying goes, it is difficult for an impartial official to judge a family matter. You do not know what the wife of your friend has been through, so it is difficult to persuade from an objective point of view. It is best to let them solve the matters of their marriage and family by themselves, and outsiders should not interfere. The more outsiders interfere, the more chaotic it becomes, and ultimately, you may lose this friend. If his wife really shows signs of self-harm or desperation, it is still advisable for your friend to accompany his wife and find a counselor. This can help relieve his wife's emotions and provide better assistance to them.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 22,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 22,
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            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 104,
            "end": 129,
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           },
           {
            "start": 129,
            "end": 149,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 149,
            "end": 208,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This depends on the specific situation. For example, emotions are just part of life, and marriages always have their ups and downs. We have encountered all sorts of things. In the past 16 years, we have had our fair share of challenges. One thing that still bothers my partner is that I once contacted my ex from college. Apart from that, she is not satisfied with the amount of time I spend with her shopping. As for the children, I am an essential father figure. I have to work to support them and provide them with emotional support. I also help with their studies, especially my high school child who struggles with chemistry. My arrogant son only comes to me for validation at times like this, while my cautious daughter occasionally makes grammatical mistakes in her compositions, which I do not let slide. As for my wife, she is satisfied with our life together. So, let's approach these matters slowly. Wishing you all the best, my kind-hearted friend.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9373
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't trust my therapist that much either, feeling cold inside and isolated?",
        "description": "I read an article that said one's inner self is like a house with drafts, but one day, they finally held hands with a therapist and could peacefully appreciate the world. My inner self is like an empty concrete floor, curled up in the center while stray cats roam around. Occasionally, someone finds me cute and gives me food, and sometimes other cats see me as attractive and try to take advantage. Most of the time, I try to please this world. I don't have the privilege to be willful because there is an older cat beside me who thinks I shouldn't just stay in an empty space. I have to catch mice and pay protection fees so the older cat won't bully me. I am very sad, but I can't cry because I don't have a hut to cry in. I also don't fully trust my therapist, even though she is very good. I have to work hard to earn money to see her, it's a particularly powerless life.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Please believe that you are the expert of your own life, and the counselor is merely an assistant and an expert in psychology. From your description, it is clear that you feel it is difficult for yourself, needing to please the world and lacking the right to be willful. There are also people around you rushing you, making you feel like you want to cry, but have no space to do so. So let's imagine what kind of life we actually want. A comfortable space where we can feel at ease, with no need to rely on others to live comfortably and easily. You see, when we see what we truly desire, what our inner needs are, we already have a clear direction in our hearts. So the question is, what can we do to strive towards this desired direction? If we imagine that this desired life is worth 10 points, how many points do we currently have? And what can we do to increase that score? Even if it's just by 0.1 or 0.5, someday we will get closer to the kind of life we want.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5284
       },
       {
        "question": "Unfortunately, the parents may not be compatible individuals, yet they are still bound together.",
        "description": "Suddenly discovered that my father is a scumbag, belittling and treating my mother like a slave all his life. It's probably just a case of being with the wrong person, but we, the children, are the unlucky ones. I went crazy once. Sigh.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, growth process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, sending you virtual hugs. Breaking an egg from the outside represents death, while breaking it from the inside symbolizes growth. In reality, the original family does not have a decisive role in a person's growth or the formation of their character. It also cannot determine whether your future will be happy and fulfilling. The decisive role is played by yourself \u2013 how you treat your original family, how you approach your future life, and how you value yourself. The issues within your original family objectively exist, whether in the present or the past \u2013 you can no longer change them. The pain you experience is not caused by the pain itself, but rather by your thoughts about it. Now that you have grown up, your ability to overcome this pain depends on how you address it and how you find a resolution. Staying stuck in the same place, entangled with no progress, won't lead to any improvement. True reconciliation within the original family begins when you take responsibility for your own life. You must find a way to resolve these issues, allowing yourself to move past the pain. In fact, you can view your parents' incorrect and unhealthy way of relating to each other as a negative example, a mirror that reflects potential future problems. It serves as a wakeup call and provides guidance for the future. This is your asset, something that many people do not have. In this regard, you are better off than many others, and that is something to be happy about. With this asset, you can make more appropriate and positive changes that will be helpful. Hang in there \u2013 you will definitely get better. Wishing you good health, happiness, and joy.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6474
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a very strict set of standards and feel that my mentality is very dark, what should I do?",
        "description": "I'm a bit unsociable because I'm a bit arrogant, so I have few friends. I have very strict standards for myself and others, although there are indeed some requirements that I haven't met. But I often can't stand the behavior of some people around me, such as shifting blame, cutting in line, always bothering others, pretending to be weak, telling obvious lies, mocking others, saying things that make people want to kill them, such as \"the more mistakes you make, the better\", showing superiority in front of the exam-takers, throwing other people's books around, and having extremely bad attitudes, etc. But I restrain myself from showing disgust, so I often feel frustrated by myself. At extreme times, I even hope that others would die. I know this sounds very scary, and I sound very cold-blooded, but sometimes I really do hope that others would die. There are many people around me who have various habits that I find repulsive (but not everyone, and not one person has them all). Although I know that when you feel that everyone around you has a problem and is annoying, it may be you who has a problem and is annoying. Maybe I'm just narrow-minded, but they do have problems indeed. And my desire for others to die is indeed excessive, which makes me very frustrated. I feel like I'm mentally unhealthy. Please help me analyze it, thank you.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I understand your feelings. And most people feel disgusted when they see someone who \"doesn't follow the rules,\" especially when these people's negative behavior encroaches upon and harms their own interests. For example, road rage or when a loved one is hit by a car running a red light. Who wouldn't feel the urge to curse and direct negative energy towards them? Blaming others, cutting in line, constantly bothering others for help, pretending to be weak, telling lies, mocking, ridiculing, and taunting others, being vain, showing off superiority, throwing other people's books away, having an extremely bad attitude, and so on \u2013 these are all behaviors that the majority of people don't like. Your mindset is actually quite normal; the problem lies in whether or not you can find the right \"balance.\" There's nothing wrong with wanting to curse someone to death in your mind. Thoughts themselves are not illegal; as long as you like it, you can even make a voodoo doll at home or secretly cast a curse on someone \u2013 it's all \"magical attacks against the other person\" to relieve the hatred in your heart. As long as your actions aren't illegal and don't cause actual physical harm, but rather stay within the boundaries of the law, and your goal is just to make yourself feel better, it's okay. Besides, you're only silently cursing in your heart. Furthermore, if everyone could have a strong sense of justice like you, or if people like you ruled the world, the world might be a little better. The problem is, as you've also noticed, the people around you don't act according to your will, your likes and dislikes. As a result, it often falls solely on you. Looking at it this way, maybe you can teach your heart to set boundaries and throw back to others what doesn't belong to you, what belongs to others, so that your heart can be much more at ease.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3332
       },
       {
        "question": "A 13-year-old boy feels uncomfortable every time someone is kind to him?",
        "description": "Always trying to please others, feeling uncomfortable when others are nice to me, can only constantly give and conform. What's going on with this?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Because you haven't experienced others being kind to you, or you haven't experienced others' love and kindness towards you. You need to consider your interaction patterns with your parents. It makes you uncomfortable when others are kind to you because you feel unworthy deep down inside. You believe that if you don't do anything, you don't deserve others' love. So, you constantly give and cater to others, thinking that this is what gives you value and makes you worthy of love. In a relationship, accepting and giving are like saving and withdrawing money. You keep depositing in the other person's account but never make any withdrawals, which puts pressure on the other person. Try accepting and appreciating others' kindness towards you, it will make the relationship stronger and the emotional bond deeper. You deserve others' kindness, and your existence has value.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 38,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 38,
            "end": 55,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 55,
            "end": 186,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 186,
            "end": 213,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 213,
            "end": 231,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9479
       },
       {
        "question": "My mother has told all my secrets to someone, what should I do in the future? I want to die.",
        "description": "My mom suddenly told my aunt about my depression. The secret I have kept for over twenty years is now known to others. I have been bullied and discriminated against by classmates at school. My aunt dislikes me, and I don't like her either. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle her sudden kindness when she knows about my illness. She can't keep her mouth shut and will say anything. Soon, all my relatives around me might know as well. What should I do in the future? How do I face everyone? I want to die. Is it comfortable to just fall asleep? I promised to take care of myself, but it's highly likely that I won't be able to do it.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive feelings, anxious feelings, feelings of guilt and shame.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. Sending you a virtual hug! It must have been difficult for you to keep this secret for over 20 years, and it seems that your mom didn't view it as a secret, which is why she told your aunt. This behavior indeed did not take your feelings into consideration. If we can handle the worst possible outcome of a problem, then there's nothing to be afraid of. Imagine what the worst-case scenario could be in this situation. Maybe the worst-case scenario is that your aunt tells everyone around her, and all your relatives and friends find out. But how would that affect you? Being bullied or discriminated against were only past experiences, and even if your relatives find out, they will likely view it as something in the past and not constantly dwell on it or talk about it. You should know that each of us cares mainly about ourselves. If something doesn't directly concern them, people might briefly talk about it but won't pay constant attention to it. For example, no matter how big a news event is or how sensational it is at the time, it tends to fade away after a few days. They know you have depression, and if they understand depression, they will surely show more concern, which is actually a good thing for you, right? From your description, you're worried that if your aunt finds out about your depression, she will suddenly start treating you nicely, and you won't be able to handle it. Do you dislike being pitied? Being pitied indeed doesn't feel great, but wouldn't it be better than being disliked by your aunt? You promised yourself to treat yourself well, so love yourself and focus on your own matters. Don't worry too much about what others think. Those things are beyond our control, so there's no need to dwell on them. If you have depression, just cooperate with the doctor's treatment, and believe that you can gradually recover. Sending you a hug, the world and I love you! (^_-)",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Please do not break your promise when you commit to taking care of yourself! It doesn't matter if others find out, everyone is only concerned about their own world. Do you think they will think about your illness and ridicule you every day? You may be overestimating yourself. Just think, if your aunt had depression, would you mock her? Would you think about it every day? Each of us should focus on living our own lives. The past is in the past, let go of the humiliation, the discrimination. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it's like having a cold. It just takes advantage of your weaker resistance. Take medication when necessary and exercise to overcome it. Everyone faces psychological issues. Treat them with a normal mindset. Hugs! Mom didn't mean any harm, she has her own struggles, which is why she couldn't help but tell your aunt. So don't blame mom. I don't know why you think your aunt dislikes you, but then you say you're afraid she will suddenly treat you well. If she dislikes you, she won't care about you, right? Relatives are the same, those who truly love you will fully accept you. Those who don't accept you, you don't need to care about them. Many TV shows and novels often have lines from villains like, \"If there's a next life, I will make it up to you.\" When you can say such things, why not cherish this life? Living is much simpler than dying. Breathe, breathe. Look at how grass and trees live. If you're not afraid of death, why fear gossip? In the end, it's still the same plea: please do not break your promise when you commit to taking care of yourself!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the little one. It must feel terrible to have our long-held secret exposed by the person we trust the most, especially if Auntie is not someone who can keep a secret. So it's understandable that we are worried and concerned. However, what's done is done, so maybe we can try to adapt and see how we can keep things under control. We can start by talking to Mom and understanding why she revealed our secret so easily to others. If Mom has a valid reason, then maybe we can listen to her thoughts and find a solution together. If Mom simply spoke without considering the consequences, we can gently remind her and make her understand the potential impact this may have on us. I believe Mom wouldn't play with her own child's life like this, so once she realizes the seriousness of the situation, we can discuss with her and suggest that she communicate with Auntie, explaining what can and cannot be said, especially considering the potential harm it may cause to a child with depression. We need to make the other person aware of the consequences, as there might be some things we cannot handle alone. Moreover, we also need to learn to take care of ourselves. Actually, depression is not as scary as we imagine. It seems that the original poster has been doing much better lately and can already face many things independently. It's just that this sudden event caught us off guard, so we need to adjust our mindset. It's not as frightening for others to know, because we can overcome depression. If there are any problems or things we don't understand, we can work together to find a solution. Okay? The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21596
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old student, started having suicidal thoughts three years ago, is this the only way to go on?",
        "description": "I don't know what to say. I feel very anxious and sad. I often cry or make crying noises at night. I also need to manage my relationships in the dormitory. I don't want to socialize with them, but I don't want to be ignored either. I have experienced campus violence and cyberbullying. My parents love me very much, but I have a hard time understanding their way of showing love. My dad is not good at expressing himself and says hurtful things when he's angry, telling me to die. My mom always defends me, but she can't understand me. I can't explain my feelings to her. I don't know why I'm anxious, it's just strange. I urgently want to solve it, really want to, but I can't. I don't know where the root of the problem lies, which makes me even more anxious. I want to resolve it on my own, but my parents are holding me back, so I can't jump off. Is this the only way I can go on? Is this all I can do?",
        "keywords": "emotions, anxious emotions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug yourself tightly, my child! I see your efforts, your exploration of yourself, and this world! When facing problems you cannot solve, knowing to seek help from others and refusing to give up on yourself, it is a sense of responsibility towards yourself, your family, and your life. I give you a big thumbs up! You said you feel extremely anxious, that you feel overwhelmed by this emotion and find it hard to calm down, like a trapped animal. This is the image I have in my mind. You are really in a hurry, wanting to find a breakthrough and break free from this situation. I feel so sorry for you! When you read my response, please follow my lead and do the following: find a quiet and undisturbed space, sit down, gently close your eyes, focus on your breath, take a deep breath in and slowly exhale, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. After three long breaths, shift your focus to your body, pay attention to any discomfort you may feel and direct your attention to that area. If there are no uncomfortable sensations, scan your body from head to toe, allowing yourself to slow down and become still. You can also utilize some meditation techniques to help you relax. Take care of your body and try to slow down the rhythm of your life. If there is any progress, reward yourself with a small treat. If you feel you still cannot communicate well with your parents, you can seek help from a school counselor. Nowadays, every school has dedicated counselors for consultation, and face-to-face counseling should be more effective. You are a responsible and diligent child, believe in yourself. This is just a minor episode in life, there are more wonderful things awaiting you to discover!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5981
       },
       {
        "question": "Attempted Graduate School Exam three times, all ended in failure, each time falling just short. How can I fully accept it?",
        "description": "The questioner is 24 years old. In the final year of college, they took the postgraduate entrance exam but failed the interview. They then found an internship but came up short by two points. They were unable to transfer because of the minimum required score. In early May, they started looking for a job, but it didn't go well. After working for a few months, they resigned and went home to prepare for a third attempt at the postgraduate entrance exam and also took the national civil service exam. However, they missed the mark for the civil service exam by one spot and missed the postgraduate entrance exam by one point. Although they know they have to look forward, they can't seem to get over this hurdle. Whenever someone mentions taking the postgraduate entrance exam or hears that people around them are going to graduate school, they feel very sad. They feel like it's a lifelong regret and that their life feels incomplete, especially when it's difficult to find a job and most of their classmates and friends are going to graduate school. They feel like they've completely lost their confidence, self-discipline, and dislike themselves. They feel lost and aimless. They also hope to face life with optimism and positivity, but nothing seems to make them happy. The feeling of failure for not getting into graduate school for three years and the financial and job issues constantly weigh on their heart. However, the more depressed they are, the lower their efficiency in studying and doing things, creating a vicious cycle. Although they know that even if they get into graduate school, it doesn't guarantee a great future, they still can't let it go. But due to age, financial, and other practical factors, they must give up. How can they completely accept the fact that they can't pursue a postgraduate education?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, the choices we make in life always come with opportunities. What is lost will inevitably return in other forms. Accept what cannot be changed and focus on what you can accomplish at the present moment. I sympathize with you deeply. From your description, I can feel your pain and dilemma. On one hand, you have failed to pass the postgraduate entrance exams three times, which has left you feeling extremely defeated. This sense of defeat has also extended to your work, life, and personal value. On the other hand, due to your age and financial factors, you have decided to give up on further studying, but you feel a deep sense of regret and unwillingness in your heart. Reflect seriously on your inner thoughts. Even if you find a suitable job, will you be able to let go of your regrets regarding the exams? Perhaps, whether you pass or fail is no longer that important to you. What matters more is that it has become a symbol that constantly reminds you of your pain and defeat. Maybe only by truly conquering it can you let go. After careful thought, you can communicate with your family and see if you have one more chance to give it your all and make a final effort. Furthermore, many times what may seem like a narrow margin is actually a wide gap, requiring you to exert even more effort, not letting up or entertaining any thoughts of luck, but embracing a determined and persevering attitude of victory. There are many paths ahead of you, and what you are currently seeing may not be all that there is. Regardless of the path, as long as you put your heart and effort into it, it will become wider and wider. Learning to accept regret may be a sign of growth. If you are unable to attempt the postgraduate entrance exams again, you may need to find a different path. Long-term studying for exams can change your mindset and energy level, not to mention the financial and work pressures you have. If succeeding on the exams is your ideal, then you have already done everything you can to achieve it and put in all your effort and hard work. That is enough. Even if you don't achieve good results, it does not diminish the sweat and time you have put in. Not passing the exams does not make others laugh at or look down on you; it is your own self-depreciation and comparing yourself to others. Those who succeeded on their first attempt may seem to be doing better, but in your ongoing journey, you have also honed your patience and perseverance. This is also a kind of achievement. I truly admire your spirit of refusing to admit defeat. If you can approach finding a good job and creating your own life with the same patience and good preparation as you did for the exams, there is absolutely no problem. The road has its ups and downs; there will be upslopes and downslopes. Let go of the burden of the exams and bravely step onto a new path. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16961
       },
       {
        "question": "How to maintain motivation when staying at home and being unemployed for nearly a year, with constant emotional ups and downs?",
        "description": "I have been unemployed for almost a year at home, and my mood has been fluctuating, mostly low. Especially when I am with my parents, I don't have to do many things because they take care of me. However, they often criticize me with their words, which sometimes puts me in a bad mood. Now I have the idea of \u200b\u200bconfronting them. The more they don't want me to do something, the more I want to do it. I am becoming more and more disgusted with my own state. I have no motivation for anything, occasionally there will be some motivation, but it quickly disappears due to procrastination. How can I maintain motivation for life?",
        "keywords": "Emotion, expressing emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I understand from the OP's description that they are unemployed at home and feeling down. Their parents take care of their daily life, but they often criticize them with words, which sometimes leads to a bad mood. Now OP has a thought of confronting them. The more they don't want me to do something, the more they want to do it. They have also become more and more disgusted with their own state. Now they have no motivation for anything. I can understand the OP's low emotions and rebellious psychology towards their parents, but objectively speaking, the current state of the OP, although it makes them feel miserable, is not caused by the family, but by themselves. I think your parents may say some critical words, but deep down, they love you the most. Their criticism may be their high expectations for you, hoping that you can have your own career, but now you can only stay at home unemployed. They are just venting, but they still love you in their hearts. Try to think from their perspective. If you were the father, working hard for your child for twenty years, what kind of person would you like your child to be? Even if you don't expect them to achieve great success, at least you hope they have a stable job\uff01But even so, you still love your child. When they are hungry, you feel heartbroken; when they are sad, you feel sad too, but you might say some hurtful words to provoke them. This is a psychological reaction that every parent may experience. I believe you are not a person who is content with relying on your parents. It may be due to the pandemic that you haven't found a job temporarily. Focus your emotions and energy on finding a job, concentrate your efforts, and I think maybe you won't resist your parents so much.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8390
       },
       {
        "question": "What do people live for, family, friendship, love, or just material possessions?",
        "description": "I don't know where the meaning of life lies for myself. Is it family, friendship, love, or just material possessions?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner~ Seeing words is like seeing a face. First of all, I'm curious about your age and how much life experience you've had before starting to think about this question. Almost everyone will face this important question in life: what is the purpose of living? Different age groups have different motivations for thinking about this question. I have also deeply pondered this question, and the conclusion I reached is quite simple: there is no conclusion. Because I can never find an answer to verify the meaning of my life, in other words, life itself has no meaning, and living is not necessarily for anything. This kind of thinking may seem negative, but in reality, it is a good way of self-regulation, because without meaning, I can assign any meaning I want to everything. We are used to finding a goal or meaning to validate the significance of our actions, because this makes us feel that everything is worthwhile. However, not everything can be assigned meaning, such as the existential dilemma in life. Everyone is born and grows up according to certain rules, goes to school at a certain age, works, gets married, has children, and all of this seems very natural. No one tells us that we should do it this way, but everyone does it, so naturally, we do it too. What are we doing this for? Is it for something we will eventually obtain? What each person wants at different stages of life varies, and different age groups have different needs. Most people are not easily satisfied because desires are endless. Therefore, attributing the meaning of life to some ultimate material thing is unrealistic. The so-called family affection, love, and friendship are not the meaning of our existence either. Yu Hua once said, \"Being alive in itself has no meaning, being alive is being alive itself.\" I don't know if you can understand, but being alive, this state, this real and present feeling, experiencing various ups and downs, is all brought about by being alive. It's quite magical. Even though it can be bitter at times, it can also be sweet. The underlying color of life is too heavy, and we are not qualified to define it, but each person's life, we are entitled to give it different meanings. And each experience will bring us different answers. Moving forward, pausing sometimes and contemplating the meaning of life, this is life. So, questioner, don't be too perplexed. Just walk each step earnestly, and some answers will come naturally. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is worth discussing the question you raised. Thank you for asking~ This question has countless answers. Some people live to chase their dreams, some for social status, and some for money. It depends on what individuals want to pursue throughout their lives. The concept of \"meaning of life\" itself has various interpretations and can be different for each person. However, one crucial thing, in my opinion, is to live for the sake of being alive, to enjoy the impact and emotions brought by happiness and sadness in the limited time we have. Bi Shumin once replied to a student, saying, \"Life itself doesn't have much meaning, but you can give it meaning.\" When we enter this world, we are destined to experience many things, such as the family, friendship, and love you mentioned, which can bring beautiful sparks into our lives. When do we usually contemplate this question? Most often during moments of confusion, when we can't find our self-worth or when we have negative emotions towards the world. We can set this question aside and choose to live in the present, to realize our self-worth and strive for better goals in life. Encounter different versions of yourself and embrace the impact and confusion that this world brings to you. Lastly, I would like to share a quote I really like from the philosopher Max Weber: \"Man is an animal suspended in webs of significance he himself has spun.\" Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The host raised a question of profound philosophical significance, a question that has been pondered and sought by human beings throughout history, yet without a definitive answer. Because the answer itself may require us to experience and find it on our own. As I am the unique individual in the world, there is no second me. Therefore, the answer to how I should live lies in my own search, which is the mission of our lives. In the deepest sense, our purpose is to live as ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves. As Sartre said, we are the authors of ourselves. Through choices, actions, and even inaction, we design ourselves. Be true to yourself, live your own life, and have the courage to embark on the journey. Not for the sake of family, friendship, love, or material possessions, but for yourself. I hope this message is helpful to you. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, asker. What is the meaning of life? This is a grand proposition that has puzzled philosophers for centuries. The three fundamental questions of philosophy - Who am I? Where do I come from? Where am I going? - have troubled many people. In simple terms, what is the meaning of life? Some may attribute it to friendships, family, or material possessions. Everyone has their own perspective, but the meaning of life is actually how you perceive your own existence. What do you think your life is? What is the meaning of your own life? It is not defined by others; everyone has a different meaning to their life. We can especially feel this difference when watching war films. For example, when I watched \"The Eight Hundred,\" some people chose to escape, believing that the meaning of their life was to marry someone, have children, and live a peaceful and happy life. On the other hand, some people chose to strap themselves with grenades and bravely jump into battle. Their meaning of life lay in their willingness to sacrifice their lives to defend their country, putting their own families after their nation. Some people transformed from being meek to bravely holding up a flag, and their meaning of life changed. In fact, everyone is the same. At a certain time, in a certain place, at a turning point, you will discover what you truly desire. From then on, you will know the meaning of the first half of your life and what you want to pursue in the second half. Perhaps, in our final moments, when we reflect on our life, we still do not know what our life was truly for. Maybe we lived an ordinary life, perhaps it was uneventful. However, the meaning of life lies in these few short decades that we personally construct. It cannot be accurately defined; it is our experiences.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! In the face of death, meaning may seem insignificant as it can vanish instantly like a bubble. However, you can also see its vibrant colors and give it significance. Owen Yang once said that relationships in this very moment are the key, and the true meaning lies in the moments you spend with the people you cherish. When you look back on your life so far, the actions you have taken, the memories you have left behind, and the hopes for the future are all meaningful. Perhaps the meaning of life lies in simply being alive. Being alive brings countless possibilities. The experience of being alive is precious. However, why do you seek meaning? The reasons behind why you ask this question may be more important than the question itself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "All the problems in life come from interpersonal relationships, including family, friendship, and love. The reason the questioner is exploring the meaning of life is probably because they are troubled by interpersonal relationships, leading to a low mood. The questioner said that they don't know where the meaning of life lies for themselves. Life is long, so let's explore it together. I have found two points. First, the reason we don't know where the meaning of life lies for ourselves is that the emergence of meaning requires us to do something that benefits others in advance. You should make efforts in the areas where you want to expand your life. Then you will naturally give yourself a satisfying meaning. If you don't know where the meaning of life lies for yourself, it's probably because you haven't done that thing yet or haven't reached a satisfactory state. Just start or persist, this is the first point. The second point is that it's normal for people to occasionally feel lost, procrastinate, and have low moods. Everyone will have these moments, so we should accept our own situations appropriately. Because we tend to compare our ideal self with our real self and always feel that our real self is not good enough or that we haven't used our time well. But remember, humans are not machines, and our willpower is not entirely subjective. Occasional relaxation is normal and is an objective limitation of willpower. So we should accept it and then implement the first point.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the reason why people live has always been an eternal topic, just as you mentioned, living for emotional fulfillment or for material satisfaction are both partial answers to this question. Why we live does not have a fixed answer. When people come into this world, they do not have a specific purpose. Sartre said that the existence of everything in the world is accidental. In other words, without any reason, human beings and the world exist as they are. When we consider this question, we might think about what we truly need deep inside, that is, \"why should we live, and how can we live more meaningfully?\" I believe that we should live for happiness. Throughout our lives, we are constantly pursuing happiness, pursuing a better life, from personal happiness to the happiness of our families, countries, and all of humanity. Our pursuit of happiness is the source and motivation of our existence. At the beginning, human nature is inherently good. Deep inside all of us, there is goodness and through the continuous pursuit of happiness, we can enrich our own lives and understand the meaning and value of life better. Living is about pursuing and enjoying happiness. Continuously progressing towards a better emotional and material life is one of the answers as to why we live. In the process of enriching ourselves, we will naturally find the true meaning of life for ourselves. I hope my answer can be helpful to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! I understand that you may be having conflicts with your family and friends, or facing challenges in your studies or career, feeling lost and seeking help but feeling isolated. I empathize with you. For each of us, love, friendship, and family are crucial. However, we must also realize that each person is an independent individual and lives for themselves. Family and friends are just additions to our lives. Having them may bring us happiness but can also exhaust us, but it doesn't mean we can't live for ourselves. It is now 11:38, let's imagine that you only have a little over 11 hours left in your life. What would be your most desired thing to do? Hug your family, reconcile with a friend, express your love to someone, or work hard for your dreams? Ask your heart, and perhaps you can discover the desires you urgently and passionately seek but haven't realized yet. If you find them, then go for it! If you haven't found your dreams and desires, think about what in your life is worth living for. For example, even when I feel isolated, thinking about delicious food that makes my life worth living until tomorrow motivates me to keep striving. Even if you still haven't found a reason worth living for, you should know that in the hearts of strangers, there is care and love for you. Even if you lose everything, each and every one of us will do our best to help and love you. We must live our lives for this world. Perhaps the current situation is not ideal, but don't forget the expectations the world has for you. Lastly, I would like to share a quote I really like: \"May you remember your worth and resist malicious intent when you're being struck down. May you believe in your worth and love what you love, do what you do, follow your heart, no matter the cost.\" Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hmm~ friend, when I saw your question, it reminded me of my past. I used to always ask about the purpose of life and engage in discussions about dreams and the meaning of life with others. Actually, what I want to tell you is that the meaning of life is simply to live well. You say you don't know why people exist, but I want to tell you that people exist to live well and find happiness for themselves. Why bother pondering so much about why? If you really think about it, isn't this the truth? Maybe you want to say it's for your parents, loved ones, or children. But in reality, these individuals want to see you happy more than anything else. They can't bear to see you burdened by existential thoughts because of them. Your happiness is their happiness, so relax and live a good life, pursuing your own dreams. That's how you fulfill your own life's value. Of course, when faced with your own choices, there may be times when your family doesn't understand. This requires good communication to find a balance or understanding of what you love and strive for. Don't have regrets, achieve success, and convince your family. In the end, I hope you live a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13055
       },
       {
        "question": "Every night I suffer from insomnia and I don't know what the future will be like. I feel scared.",
        "description": "After graduating and entering the workplace, I have always been doing repetitive work, thinking that I was very capable. Then I would change jobs and end up unemployed. Now I have been unemployed for over 4 months, and I have started to fear the workplace. However, I have to face the workplace because of life and the need to earn money. But because I can't find a job, I am restless and anxious.",
        "keywords": "Career, career selection skills, work pressure, work fatigue.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the OP~ OP, you are not alone. I still feel terrible when I think back to the anxiety during my job search. Constantly experiencing rejection and being denied is really distressing. But if we look at it from a different perspective, maybe it's because we put in so much effort to obtain something that we will cherish job opportunities even more in the future, right? Regarding your current situation, I think we can make efforts in the following aspects: identifying our strengths. Most of us do repetitive work, so we can dig deeper into the strengths we demonstrate in our jobs. For example, are we conscientious and responsible at work? Do we step up during critical moments? Are we good at cooperation and have strong teamwork skills? Do we adapt well to new environments and find it easy to handle any job? And so on. Then we can think about examples that prove these abilities. When writing resumes and going for interviews, we can emphasize these aspects and highlight our strengths. Mobilize our friends. You can ask your friends if their companies have any job openings and if they can help you with referrals. Sometimes, when we go for interviews directly, HR may have more requirements, but if we have a reliable person who can help with referrals, it will be easier to secure a job. Boost our spirits and approach job searching with the best attitude. I remember when I was job searching, I would have interviews during the day and cry at night, but the next day, I would gather myself and go for another interview. I was exhausted during that period, and finding a job was particularly difficult. Then my friend told me that if she were an HR, she wouldn't hire me with such lack of confidence. After that, I adjusted myself for a while. During that time, I analyzed my own characteristics and motivated myself a lot. Later, I felt ready and started searching for jobs again. This time, I successfully found a job. I think we must believe in ourselves, no matter how many setbacks we encounter. We should believe that it's just that this job and I are not a perfect match, and it doesn't mean that I am not capable enough. If we feel exhausted, it might be helpful to take a break and relax, and then continue the job search with a refreshed spirit. OP, let's keep going~ The job is waiting for you in front. Let's boost our spirits, let go of worries and anxieties, and believe that we can do it!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Loulou, it's nice to meet you! Hugs to you! I can feel your helplessness and confusion about the future through your words. You don't like the monotonous life you have now, and you don't want your life to be ordinary. This is understandable, hugs to you! I think there may be a few reasons why you have these thoughts. The disparity between ideals and reality: You mentioned in your writing that you \"thought you were great,\" which shows that when you entered the workplace, you were full of confidence and believed that you could make a career for yourself. However, when you actually started working, you realized that the reality of the workplace was different from what you had imagined, creating a disparity. Other people's shining lives: Whether it's the influencers in videos or the people around you, they may make you feel like, why are they so excellent while I'm just ordinary? Other people's accomplishments seem to highlight your own lack of excellence. I think this is a problem that probably exists all the time because everyone wants to present their best side to others, just like when writing a resume. No one will write a bad resume about themselves, so maybe you need to look at this from a neutral perspective. Life limitations: Your current biggest source of confusion may be the inability to find a suitable job. Four months of unemployment has made you increasingly fearful and directionless about the future. Based on these reasons, I have a few suggestions that I hope will be helpful to you. Take it slow to go faster: Regarding these disparities, it's important for you to approach them with a calm mindset. The workplace is a completely new place for you, so it's normal to feel anxious or lost. However, I believe that being impatient won't solve the problem, and it may even make the situation worse as you get caught up in overthinking. So my suggestion is to take things slow first, and once you find a direction that suits you, you can speed up. Let's not be impatient, okay? Career planning or changing direction: You are already feeling confused about the current workplace, and I think one of the reasons for this confusion may be that you lack a detailed career plan or direction. Planning is undoubtedly a good thing for us, and career planning, in particular, can give us purpose and direction. As for how to create a career plan, you can make full use of the internet and watch relevant videos or read related books. I highly recommend the YouTuber \"Xiaosu\" - she has a video specifically about career planning that is very comprehensive, and she even shares her own career plan. I hope you can check it out. Get moving: When I was studying, I often had trouble sleeping, and my teacher told me, \"That's because you're not moving enough.\" I think it makes sense - during the day, I either daydream or rest, without fully utilizing my time, so naturally, I'm not tired enough to sleep. So I suggest you do some exercise, which not only helps relieve stress but also gradually improves your mood. Additionally, meditation is also a good option! Finally, I hope everything goes well for you and that you can find your direction! Keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, your question is very common for the unemployed population. The reason why we change jobs is because we are confident that even if we change jobs, we can find a better one. But when we face frustration in job hunting, our confidence takes a hit. This blow makes us doubt ourselves, and once we start doubting ourselves, we become fearful of the unknown. We fear the unknown for our future, for the unknown of the workplace, and for the unknown of development in this current era. Moreover, this fear gradually erodes our confidence over time, and as our confidence is eroded, the fear only grows stronger. We begin to doubt whether we can keep up with progress in the era and worry about being left behind. This is a problem and fear that every unemployed person has to face. It is a terrifying vicious cycle, and if one continuously immerses oneself in this fear, they will find themselves becoming depressed and anxious. These emotions will only grow stronger, and eventually, they may even fear going for job interviews, to the point where they are unable to attend interviews at all. However, it is easy to imagine that the results of an interview for a person in a confident state versus a person filled with fear would be quite different. If you were the interviewer, which one would you choose? Thus, this leads to another negative cycle. If one continues to be trapped in this vicious cycle, in the end, they will slowly wear themselves down. Therefore, we need to learn how to break this cycle. The best way to break this cycle is to make progress, to focus on self-improvement. If you truly fear, you can set a learning goal for yourself - to continuously progress during this unemployment process. Do not fear unemployment, and do not see unemployment as the low point of your life. You should consider your career as a hidden period of your life. In the process of learning, the most important thing is not to focus on the speed of your progress, but on the progress itself. If we focus on the speed of our learning progress, we often fall into a wrong mindset - we set ourselves a high goal, set a fast learning pace or requirement, and therefore always feel that our progress is too slow, which easily brings us down. This can make us dislike studying and detest learning, once again falling into a negative cycle. However, if we focus on progress itself, we will constantly have a sense of accomplishment. It will make us passionate and motivated to continue learning. When we focus on progress itself, we will have passion and motivation to study, which will make our learning speed faster and our progress greater. It will further stimulate our sense of accomplishment, creating a positive cycle. This will help us build confidence. This is a technique that I personally find very useful. I hope it can help you recover quickly, find a job, and become happier.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the subject, every newcomer in the workplace is prone to encounter such psychological and situational challenges. After all, being young, it's difficult to accept the repetition of tasks day after day. Then, changing jobs one after another, but any profession is built on work experience. Only through accumulation can you have the opportunity for promotion and have the power to make your own choices. Throughout history, many successful individuals or craftsmen of great nations have achieved their success through the simple yet difficult secret of \"repetition and accumulation.\" I suggest that the subject adjusts their mindset and faces their career with a calm attitude. \u25b2 If you don't easily abandon your career, then your career won't abandon you. Many employers are hiring, but with so many talented individuals available, do you think they choose the person with the highest education or the most outstanding abilities? No, they select someone who can focus on their work and contribute to the company's benefits. \u25b2 The greatest mistake for newcomers in the workplace is to \"shun the tools\" and have \"high expectations but low abilities\". No matter the field, you won't know what kind of work suits you until you try it; without a certain level of experience, why would others trust you with the highest position? Put yourself in the boss's shoes, would you dare to let a novice in the workplace directly take on the role of CEO? Finally, I hope my answer can help the subject, thank you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. When just graduating and entering the workplace, many people have this experience. They may feel very capable and think that they can handle anything they don't like. However, after several job searches and actual work, they realize that it's not as easy as they imagined. At this time, they may feel panic, confused, and even start doubting themselves. How can we deal with this situation? First, we need to calm down and think about what we really want. What kind of person do we want to become? What are our ideals? How achievable are they? Second, we need to assess what skills and abilities we need for our goals. What do we need to do? Third, we need to evaluate the skills and abilities we currently possess. What can we do right now? Fourth, how can we bridge the gap between our current state and what we need? What can we do before reaching our goals? How can we assess our abilities? We can use assessments such as the Four Quadrants of Competence, Holland's vocational interests assessment, and the Edwards Personal Preferences Schedule.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Everyone faces different pressures when it comes to work, so you don't need to feel that you are different from others or burden yourself too much. Regarding your question, I have some thoughts to share with you: Most jobs have repetitive tasks. If we always look at things in chunks of time, we will feel that both our life and work/study are repetitive. In this case, we need to shorten our focus and see the changes in them, treating these changes as new challenges every day. In today's highly competitive society, many people are waiting for a job, which brings along stress related to competition. If you can't find a job immediately, don't panic. Take it slow. It will work out eventually. Work life can sometimes be resistant because we often face pressures related to work content and beyond. However, we need to remember that whether it's work or study, they both belong to life. We shouldn't entirely focus on work, as it will affect our mood and quality of life. If our life is not good, we will start to dislike our work. Maintaining a positive mindset is crucial. In life, we will always face some difficulties. Being anxious will only have negative effects on problem-solving. It might help to go out and explore the outside world. When you see how big the world is, you will realize how small your current difficulties are. Relax, stay calm, and solutions will come. Keep going! I hope you find a comfortable way of living and overcome your current difficulties as soon as possible. Grateful to meet you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, having a humble attitude is very important in the workplace. \"After graduating and entering the workforce, I always found myself doing repetitive work, thinking that I was very capable, then changing jobs, and eventually becoming unemployed.\" After graduation, it is easily for us to approach work and the challenges in the workplace with a student mindset. As you mentioned, we often find ourselves doing repetitive tasks and after a while, we become proficient at them, creating a sense that we are really good and that the work is not difficult. \"Instead, view work from a developmental perspective and create a career plan.\" When you find yourself constantly doing repetitive tasks, take a step back and ask yourself why you are doing those tasks and how you can progress within your current position. Observe how more experienced colleagues handle their work. \"I have been unemployed for over four months now and I've realized that I am afraid of returning to the workplace. However, I need to face it because I have to make a living, but not being able to find a job is making me anxious.\" The reason for your fear of the workplace is largely due to the impact of long-term unemployment and the inability to find a job, causing a significant gap between reality and your ideal expectations, leading to a loss of confidence. What you need to do now is to reassess your career direction. There is fierce competition for jobs at the moment, with many highly talented individuals. What you can do is focus on enhancing your own skills and making yourself valuable. Make the most of this period of unemployment by improving your skills, adjusting your mindset, and avoiding impatience for immediate success. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation and trust, OP! I see your confusion and feel your desire to find a suitable job, to take responsibility for yourself, and to realize your own value. Insomnia is caused by unresolved problems during the day. When your brain senses your stress and a strong desire, it becomes overly excited or nervous, preventing you from entering a relaxed state. Unemployment impacts one's sense of security and self-worth. On the surface, it may seem like a fear of the workplace, but it could be that you are avoiding the feeling of not being recognized for being good enough. Therefore, what hinders you is not external, but whether you have the courage to break through yourself. It's not that you can't find a job, but rather that you want to prove yourself in a certain profession too much. Suggestions: First, clarify your goals. What do you want? If you want to prove yourself, be prepared to accept the pain and helplessness that comes with it. If you need income, earnestly search for a job that matches your abilities, solve your survival problems first, and then aim to improve your skills. Second, increase exercise and physical fitness to activate and enhance your inner strength. Third, consider seeking professional psychological counseling to support your adjustment when necessary. Best wishes to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand how the original poster feels. Insomnia is caused by anxiety, and the pressures of life make me eager for income. However, the future seems uncertain, and it is difficult to find a job, so I often worry and lose sleep at night. Realizing the reality of work and accepting it, many people have dreams about work when they first graduate, but the actual work in real life is repetitive and mundane. No matter how creative or interesting a job may seem, when you actually invest time in it, especially after becoming skilled, it ultimately becomes mundane. Work and career can be separate. Think carefully about what work is really for? Mainly to find a stable income. Work is only a part of life, lower your expectations of work and try to develop your own interests. In fact, work and career can be separate. Work pursues stability. You may as well lower your expectations of work, accept this simplicity, and at the same time look for something you can really do and work hard to develop it. Why not ask yourself, what else do you want to do besides work? After all, work is not the only thing, it's just for making money, there's no need to have too high expectations. Work hard to further your education, constantly learn and strive for better income. If you can't find a job for a while, continue to strengthen your studies, try taking more exams, and have more interviews. After all, just graduated and still relatively young, there are still many opportunities waiting for you. Make the most of your youth, seize various opportunities. Having a stable job will make life easier. Instead of thinking too much, take action. Many times, effort is not something that comes from thinking, but from continuous action and practice. Thinking too much will only increase worries. The best way to stop thinking is to take decisive action. When you actually take action, you will find that you focus on something and reduce the anxiety caused by unnecessary imagination.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12661
       },
       {
        "question": "Middle school student, often sees unclean things at night, what should I do?",
        "description": "Mood will inexplicably become low, will see those terrifying things, will have insomnia.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I have also had similar experiences, although I didn't have trouble sleeping. High school life can be very stressful. Being overwhelmed by all the studying and daily tasks, I rarely get the chance to lose myself in my own thoughts or daydream. Time gradually passes by. My suggestion is, if you don't have any free time, that's actually better. Being busy can help distract you from a lot of things. If you're not busy, you may feel empty, bored, helpless and lost. If you do have free time, I recommend reading some motivational books or watching inspirational TV shows. Hang in there, little brother.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17517
       },
       {
        "question": "How to change the emotions from playing games and bring them into real life?",
        "description": "Recently, I have been playing a game that I just learned, but I am not very good at it. However, the people in the game would insult me, calling me things like stupid and saying I don't know anything. There were even worse things they said. After that, I was too scared to continue playing. Later on, I started feeling uncomfortable about it and I realized that I am not the person they described me as. So, I tried playing a few more times, but I still couldn't win. I feel frustrated but I can't express it. As a result, whenever something doesn't go my way, I randomly get angry and end up hurting my friends unnecessarily. What should I do? If I continue like this, I might lose my friends. I know this is wrong, but I can't control myself. I get angry over trivial things and it's not even a big deal, but I still feel very angry. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In games, there will always be people seeking a sense of existence. They elevate themselves by belittling others. Therefore, when facing insults from others, we need to have a dialectical perspective. First, we can ask ourselves why we play games. If it's to win, there are many ways to achieve that, such as relying on teammates or spending money, or learning gaming skills or even hiring someone to play for you. If it's for enjoyment, then we can ignore the criticisms from others or confront them directly. After all, games are meant to be played for fun. If we are not happy in the end, it's better to find another form of entertainment. Secondly, let's think about why we get angry. Is it because we are not satisfied with our gaming abilities, so we keep playing hoping to improve, but in the end, we are not as good as we imagined, or even get criticized by teammates, leading to a burst in our mentality. In fact, games require practice sometimes, especially those with strong operational elements. Each character's skills and their combination require certain techniques. If we really want to improve, we can learn from other skilled players, use our brains more during the game, instead of mindlessly rushing in. Lastly, we need to learn how to regulate our emotions because no one can always win. So when we lose, we shouldn't be too discouraged. After all, we can't blame ourselves for everything. Sometimes, we can blame others. If I'm bad, I'm just bad, but I'm happy. If you think you're good, come and carry me. If you can't, then don't talk nonsense. After all, we play games not for the sake of winning, but for the sake of enjoying ourselves. The world loves you and me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22182
       },
       {
        "question": "13 years old, why do I always cry uncontrollably at night in the past two years?",
        "description": "Previously my sleep was good and I was happy every day, but for the past two years, I don't know why I feel particularly uncomfortable at night and not very happy during the day. It's very distressing, very distressing.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, depressed emotion, emotion regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! After reading your description, I have gained some understanding of the question you want to ask. Therefore, I'm sending you a virtual hug. From your description, I can gather that you are 13 years old and have been feeling emotionally down for the past two years, often crying at night without knowing the reason for your distress. Additionally, your sleep quality is also poor, leading to a series of unfortunate events. In light of this, I extend a warm hug to you. In your description, you mentioned that you were happy and had good sleep before the age of 11, but after turning 11, you started feeling emotionally down and experiencing poor sleep. I think this may be related to stress. Before the age of 11, there is minimal stress or worries, and doing well in school is all that mattered, with lax expectations from parents. However, after turning 11, the pressure of academics increases significantly as the number of subjects grows and managing interpersonal relationships becomes more complex. Therefore, experiencing increased stress during this period is quite normal. To help alleviate your current situation, I have summarized some methods:\n(1) Try to identify the causes of your emotional distress, both external and internal, to address the problem at its root.\n(2) Communicate with loved ones (i.e., actively confide in them), whether it is your parents or friends, and share the thoughts that have been weighing on your mind, further releasing your emotions.\n(3) Learn to release stress in a healthy way, such as through exercise or listening to music.\n(4) When you're feeling down, you can try journaling to record your emotions and gradually analyze the reasons behind your emotional distress.\n(5) When your mood is low, learn to proactively regulate it by distracting yourself, such as reading books, watching shows, or playing games for entertainment. The world and I care about you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14350
       },
       {
        "question": "When emotions arise, tell yourself to accept them, but how can you truly achieve self-acceptance?",
        "description": "Every time emotions come, I always tell myself to accept them first, but I don't know what true acceptance really means.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, emotion regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ It's a great idea to tell yourself to accept the presence of emotions when they arise. For example, when we face a high-pressure world, we may feel a lot of stress and anxiety. Sometimes, we may tend to suppress these emotions, fearing that they will affect our individual behavior. However, the more we try to suppress them, the more anxious we become. So, acceptance plays a significant role at this time. We need to allow the existence of negative emotions, as it can help us resolve them better. The first step of acceptance is to face them directly, allowing them to exist objectively without overly judging them. After accepting the presence of these emotions, try to relieve them based on your own thoughts. Consider how you would like to release these emotions or even how they can bring positive effects to yourself. Wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20458
       },
       {
        "question": "Is the cage too small? Is this an act of cat abuse?",
        "description": "Alas, the cause of this issue was because of a cat, a common stray cat we used to see in our childhood. We also had one at home, but two months ago it got infested with fleas, which burdened our family greatly. Everyone in the family got bitten, including my pregnant sister-in-law. We all felt that this couldn't go on, so my brother decided to get rid of the cat. However, my mom stopped him and kept the cat in a small cage. That cage was really, really small, just like those used for transporting cats. The cat couldn't move its body properly, only hunching or lying down. It has been two months like this, and amazingly, the cat gave birth. I suspect that maybe the cage was accidentally opened before and it ran out to meet other cats, causing this situation. It gave birth to two kittens. Initially, this should have been a happy event, but when I think about how small the cage is, it's simply impossible for the three cats to live in there. Even feeding the kittens is a problem. I suggested changing the cage, but my mom strongly objected. She thinks the small cage is convenient to manage. But I believe it's cruel to the cats. So, I ordered a new, larger cage on Taobao and now I fear that a family conflict will soon erupt... What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, parent-child communication, and communication among children.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. If a house is too small, humans will feel cramped, and animals may feel the same way. Whether it amounts to animal cruelty or not, only the animal itself would know. From your description, it can be seen that you are quite concerned about this cat, and there is nothing wrong with your family's actions. Maybe for them, the cat is considered livestock rather than a pet. Different attitudes towards treatment can be understood. If your mother is responsible for cleaning the cage or feeding the cat, her perspective may be what you need to convince. If you can take care of the large cage and properly look after the cat, giving them baths and cleaning up after them, so that they don't cause trouble for your family, then maybe everyone will have no objections. But if no one takes responsibility for the cat, it will likely fall on your mother's shoulders, and it's understandable that she may still consider them livestock and not take care of them as carefully or thoughtfully. If you don't want to raise the kittens, you can give them to a friend or a pet center to reduce the minor troubles they bring and provide them with a better home. Don't worry or feel guilty. You can discuss with your family and at least get them to agree to put the cat in a large cage, so that the cat can live more comfortably and not feel wronged. It may also become more obedient and cause less trouble. The cat may feel uncomfortable in a small house, but if you gradually put them in a large cage, they will adapt. Going from frugality to luxury, they probably won't \"hold a grudge,\" right? Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16004
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old male, why has he been suppressing himself since he turned 18?",
        "description": "During my middle school years, like many others my age, I went through a rebellious phase in adolescence, spreading negative emotions to those close to me and expressing my emotions online. At that time, I rarely reflected on myself, nor did I often communicate my true feelings and thoughts with others. As I grew older, I learned some things along the way and gradually learned to control my outward emotions. Most of the time, I am polite to others. However, I don't believe that this is true personal growth of the mind. Because at the same time, my inner self became extremely sensitive, often transmitting negative emotions to myself due to external factors. In other words, I started attacking and suppressing myself, feeling unworthy of better things and without the right to pursue what I want. This self-repression and even inferiority may be a result of excessive self-contemplation, bringing about feelings of anxiety and fear. I tend to feel constrained in many things and wonder what is holding me back. Although I have seen glimpses of myself in movies, books, and many other media, I am still hesitant to confidently express my feelings in the real world, such as my likes, dislikes, inner thoughts, and opinions about others.",
        "keywords": "Growth, perfecting one's personality, self-development, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, starting from venting externally and then turning inward to seek answers, this is the beginning of personal growth. Although the answers obtained are all self-judgment and only part of the trial-and-error process before finding the correct answer, allow yourself to experience the growth process. Everyone seeks self-exploration, self-understanding, and self-discovery throughout their lifetime. The feelings of oppression and judgment you see within yourself are often influenced by the family environment. The occurrence of rebelliousness can be seen as a resistance to the ideas imposed on you in the past, and also as a way to prove your own strength. Inner uncertainties stem from oneself, and after the rebellious phase, these uncertainties turn into compromises, allowing oneself to indulge in them. First of all, understand that uncertainties about oneself exist in everyone. It's just that the causes of these uncertainties differ. Physical appearance, family, wealth, relationships, dreams, and many other aspects trouble everyone to some extent, leading to different life experiences. So, in which aspect do your own uncertainties lie? Is it about courage or self-trust? Take notice of that. Knowing where the problem lies allows you to know what you want, and then what can you do to achieve what you want? Will you continue to compromise and indulge, or will you take a brave step forward? This requires your decision. In relationships, there are boundaries between people. While allowing the expression of one's feelings, one should not harm others. This is the basic bottom line. You can share with those you like and distance yourself from those you dislike or can't stand. Doing things you enjoy is the most comfortable way to express yourself. When your mind is filled with various random thoughts, consciously detach yourself, go outside for a walk, and exercise regularly as it will reduce internal noise. Doing things you enjoy is the best way to boost your energy because it brings a sense of conviction, which gradually becomes the norm and naturally leads to a sense of control and greater self-confidence.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           },
           {
            "start": 72,
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           },
           {
            "start": 201,
            "end": 283,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 283,
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           },
           {
            "start": 376,
            "end": 462,
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           },
           {
            "start": 462,
            "end": 567,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I'm glad to have the opportunity to answer your question. Based on your situation, I would define your psychological state as ruminative thinking, which is simply excessive contemplation. As we grow older and experience more, our psychology also matures, transitioning from being a transmitter of emotions to a bearer of emotions. In the past, we didn't need to think too much because we felt at ease every day without much worry. But now, after becoming more mature, we need to pay attention to many things. In interpersonal relationships, we naturally treat others with courtesy, and the things we must do can confine us. We become more inclined to think from others' perspectives, unable to release our own emotions in a timely manner, leading to increasing repression, which is not conducive to psychological development. The more we suppress, the more subjective color we give ourselves. When we are afraid to do something, we hesitate to take the first step. You don't need to be great to start, but by starting, you will become great. What you need is to have the courage to face yourself honestly and navigate the balance of being true to yourself in front of others. My suggestion is to understand the context and learn to adapt. Different situations require different approaches. For example, when dealing with tasks from your boss, you need to execute them diligently, even if you have complaints, you must not act impulsively. However, you can choose a trusted person to confide in your displeasure, or simply write it down. Among friends, speak your mind and be brave, because pretending to be someone you're not will not bring true friendship. Being a good person often means enduring hardships. Don't hesitate or agonize over what you want to do. Boost your confidence and challenge yourself to develop your abilities. Showcase your unique qualities and actively participate in activities. When you feel your own emotions being suppressed, don't rush to analyze yourself. Instead, engage in rational analysis when you're happy, or seek objective analysis from others, such as a counseling professional. In dealing with aversion towards someone, you can choose to be tolerant and avoid arguments, or you can point out their mistakes. Differentiate between positive and negative approaches, and believe that you are a person of positive energy, so the choices you make are correct, but pay attention to how you communicate. I hope my answer is helpful to you. Wishing you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, you don't want to burden others with too much negativity, so you choose to keep it all inside. However, this has resulted in an abundance of negative emotions within yourself, impacting your normal psychological functioning, as well as your confidence and cognition. Maybe you need to find a way to release or relieve the stress in your heart, such as taking a walk, going to the gym, or listening to music to relax. Perhaps you can also try changing your mindset when faced with certain things, as adopting a different perspective might help you see things more clearly or feel better. If there are confusions that you can't resolve, consider talking to your parents or friends, as I believe that having more conversations can also strengthen your relationships. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6048
       },
       {
        "question": "Should couples tell each other everything they do?",
        "description": "I met my partner ten years ago, and we have been together for less than five years. Just one and a half years into our relationship, she cheated on me. After two years of breaking up, we got back together by chance. I thought she would change and we could be together properly. Little did I know, during our time together, she cheated on me once again with a coworker who had just joined her company. They were together for three years, and I lost all hope. After three years, this coworker found someone else. One morning, she suddenly turned to me and apologized, regretting everything that had happened. She realized my goodness and faced consequences. This time, I chose to forgive her once again. I know that everything depends on me, but for some reason, I still choose to be with her. My heart is conflicted. Every argument brings back all her shortcomings, and I can't help but think about the person she cheated on me with. It's not something I want to remember. The problem is, she hasn't deleted any of her ex's contact information, and occasionally still contacts them. I asked her to delete them, and she did so in front of me, but they reappear in her contacts shortly after. I know it has been a long time, but I can't seem to get rid of this scar in my heart. I am someone who lacks a sense of security, and once bitten by a snake, I'm afraid of even a rope made of grass. It's a painful inner struggle.",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, sense of security, managing relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You have been with your partner for less than 5 years, during which she has cheated on you twice but then returned. You have accepted her both times and started again, but deep down you feel hurt and tormented by her infidelity. Relationships are often selfish and cannot accommodate a third person. Your willingness to accept her again shows that you love her very much, but you don't know how to face her cheating. Your emotions are contradictory - on one hand, you love her and want to be with her, but on the other hand, you mind her infidelity and feel resentment towards her. Generally, a partner's infidelity is a difficult behavior to accept and causes great emotional harm. Perhaps your partner has certain qualities that make you want to continue with her and you cannot let go. Actually, this also reveals that you have a strong desire and need for intimacy, fearing losing your partner's attention and care, fearing abandonment. These emotional needs are greater than the emotional impact of the infidelity, so you are more willing to choose to continue accepting her and endure the torment caused by her infidelity. Just like a child, being punished by their parents causes pain, but they are more afraid of being abandoned. Compared to being scolded, they cannot bear the pain of being abandoned, so they would rather silently endure the pain of being scolded than rebel and leave their parents. Your partner's infidelity brings agony, but leaving her, giving up on her, or being abandoned by her would be even more painful. Therefore, you have made your own choice to continue to be with her and continue to endure the pain of betrayal. Actually, this is a reflection of your inner emotional inclination and choice. Since you choose not to give up, you must be mentally prepared to endure the pain she brings you. Your attitude of accepting and tolerating her twice also makes your partner think that her infidelity is not a big problem since you can accept it, so she will continue her behavior and disregard your feelings. In order to resolve this pain, there are only a few options: first, encourage your partner to change. Have a good conversation with her, express your feelings and thoughts, convey your expectations and demands. Hope she can respect you, cherish your relationship, demonstrate her sincerity to you through practical actions, cut off contact with ambiguous individuals as soon as possible, and resolve your emotional distress. Second, continue to silently endure and maintain the status quo. If your partner cannot change and you are unwilling to give up, then you can only accept and tolerate her behavior, not interfere with her freedom, and not focus too much attention on that aspect. Instead, comfort and adjust yourself psychologically, maintain a peaceful relationship, use your tolerance and understanding to influence her. Third, gather the courage to leave. If she cannot change and you cannot accept or tolerate it, then why are you still together? Are you both just hurting each other? Gather the courage to leave, let go of her, release her, and also release yourself. Perhaps you are afraid of the pain of separation and unwilling to let go, lacking the courage to face it and the confidence to obtain emotional intimacy and care elsewhere. Therefore, you hold onto what you currently have. Please face your inner needs. If you long for love and care, does it mean that only she can provide it? Do you have the courage and ability to seek this emotional fulfillment from other places or other people? Let go and be willing to let go. The pain of separation will certainly be there, but it won't last long. There will undoubtedly be many setbacks in the search for new love, which requires courage, time, willingness to take responsibility, and daring to try and explore. This is also a test and opportunity for your inner strength to grow. The only person who can change your current state of pain is yourself. It's up to you whether you want to continue being trapped in unbearable pain or try for a chance to escape it. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You are free, and I personally think this kind of approach is more suitable for most couples, the key is whether we can achieve it. Some things should not be probed deeply, knowing them may not be good. With respect for each other, I believe we should have our own privacy, as long as it doesn't harm the relationship between the two. It's okay to have secrets, as long as we don't lie. Secrets that can be told are not secrets at all, everyone has their own stories. You love me very much, and I love you too. But we all have inconvenient things, if we can talk about them, we should, if not, we shouldn't force it. As long as both sides are comfortable, it's fine. As a couple, we are seen as a unit to the outside world, but for each individual, we are still independent entities. Regardless of how loving the relationship between the couple is, there should still be relative independence. Therefore, both men and women can have their own secrets. However, this should not be an excuse for not telling the other person important things. First of all, boyfriends and girlfriends establish trust in each other once they enter into a romantic relationship. On this premise, we should consult each other and keep each other informed. Of course, in order to strengthen the bond, we should tell each other when we encounter something. Secondly, it is unrealistic to expect to share every single detail with each other. For example, if you met someone at work today, it is understandable if you don't tell every single word of the conversation. Both sides should not demand it and instead give each other sufficient trust. Thirdly, important matters concerning both sides should be shared. For example, if one party wants to quit their job or change companies, or if you meet someone important who could create misunderstandings for the other person, it is best to inform them in advance and not intentionally conceal it. Also, if one party encounters something unpleasant and doesn't tell the other person out of concern for not wanting them to worry, at this time, the other person should be understanding. After understanding the situation, they should not complain too much and should let the other person know that they are willing to share the burden together. In summary, boyfriends and girlfriends should trust each other, with the premise of strengthening the bond, and not do anything that undermines the relationship between the two.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, as a newcomer to the industry, I hope my answer can provide you with some insights. Firstly, your question is whether couples should disclose everything to each other. In my opinion, this depends on the stage and duration of the relationship. However, based on what you have described, you have known your partner for ten years, so normally you should be able to share everything. But it seems that your relationship lacks progress and issues have arisen. With the two instances of infidelity in the past and your description of \"I asked her to delete it, she deleted it right in front of me, but it reappeared in her contacts after a short while,\" it seems that your partner is not willing to engage in honest communication when dealing with these issues, and instead resorts to habitual deceit. This is not beneficial for the development of a relationship, and due to her habitual deceit, it is doubtful whether she has truly changed. This might be the reason why you lack a sense of security. As long as this situation persists, it will be an ongoing \"hidden danger\" for you, which could have a long-term impact on your mental well-being. I hope my perspective as an outsider can help you objectively consider this issue and find happiness as soon as possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give you a hug. From the description, we can understand that 1. You and your girlfriend have known each other for a long time, but she has cheated on you multiple times. 2. During arguments with your girlfriend, you can't forget about her infidelity, and you feel conflicted and in pain about this relationship. [Some analysis and advice] 1. In the process of a relationship, if you feel extremely uncomfortable and the reasons for your discomfort cannot be resolved, it may indicate that the relationship itself is unhealthy. Regarding your girlfriend's infidelity, it seems that it has not been fully resolved before, and there's no indication in the description that she is genuinely remorseful. There is a possibility of a repeat in the future, so you may consider reevaluating your relationship with her. 2. It is normal to have thoughts of feeling betrayed, unable to forget, and experiencing emotional turmoil. If you are struggling and unable to make a judgment about your own emotions, consider confiding in close and trusted friends or family members. Sharing your feelings can help alleviate anxiety and you may also receive some advice from them. Hope this helps you, OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13066
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does my mother always ignore my feelings?",
        "description": "In the morning, my mom was using a vacuum cleaner to clean the floor. I clearly expressed that I have a dust allergy and asked her to wait for me to enter the room before vacuuming. I repeated it four times, but she continued vacuuming as if she didn't hear me. Eventually, I couldn't bear it anymore and told her that her behavior made me very uncomfortable. She said I was overreacting. I want to know what should I do? It feels really hurtful to be ignored like this! Moreover, I do have a dust allergy and she knows that. Don't tell me to talk to her calmly, it's useless. Even when I talk to her, she just impatiently tells me that I'm overreacting.",
        "keywords": "Family, communication with parents, the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Why does my daughter always ignore my feelings? In the morning, when my daughter saw me using the vacuum cleaner to clean the floor, I wanted to express my hope that she could help me with some housework so I could take a break. I thought about it in my mind four times, but I didn't say it out loud. I hoped that she would come over and lend a hand on her own initiative. But she just ignored it and continued walking into her room, saying she was allergic to dust and asked me to wait until she went inside before cleaning. If she doesn't want to help, then she doesn't have to, but she still has so many demands. It feels like my daughter always sees things from her own perspective and doesn't consider my feelings. I really feel hurt when I'm ignored like this. Don't tell me to talk to her nicely, it's useless. Even when I do talk to her, she just impatiently tells me that she has other things to do and that cleaning the house is my responsibility.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Haha! First, let's applaud Teacher Zalongo's answer! In the world, there are only two motivations for people's actions: to seek love and to give love. 1. When Mom vacuums the floor, she wants to provide you with a clean environment. She is \"giving love\" to you. 2. Due to her own limitations, such as her understanding, knowledge, communication abilities, emotional state, physical condition, etc., she can only make the greatest effort to vacuum the floor and impatiently tell you that you are being noisy when communicating with you. 3. Mom used an \"inappropriate way of expressing herself,\" which made you feel hurt and upset. Please reflect on yourself: Have you ever used inappropriate behaviors or expressions in order to seek love or give love, causing similar effects that made yourself or others feel upset and hurt? For example, have you ever used inappropriate behaviors or expressions to upset and hurt your parents or others in order to seek love or give love? You will definitely find a similar event like this if you focus on important people in your life, such as parents or loved ones. 4. Since you have done similar things to others, causing similar effects, take action to deal with the situation caused by you. Express apologies, gratitude, forgiveness, love, etc., to that person. After doing so, see if the impact of this incident on you has changed. I hope the above is helpful to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, I think everyone has a different level of concern for physical discomfort. If your mother doesn't have a \"double standard,\" then it means she doesn't disregard your feelings. My mother is the kind of person who doesn't pay much attention to physical discomfort. When I had a cold and coughed, she would ignore it unless I had a fever, then she would take me to see a doctor. There was a period of time when I had a severe cough, and even the neighbors couldn't bear to see it anymore. They asked why my mother didn't take me to the hospital. Only then did my mother take me to see a doctor. I always felt that she didn't love me or care about me. But as I grew up, I realized that my mother is just that kind of person. She doesn't go to the doctor unless her illness is extremely severe. She treats me and herself the same way, so it's not a \"double standard\". If she gets very worried when she has a minor ailment, but doesn't care about me when I'm sick, then that would be a \"double standard\". Allergies to dust can be either very severe or just minor symptoms like itchy nose and sneezing. I know it's uncomfortable for you, but in your mother's eyes, she might genuinely think, \"It's nothing, just a minor issue, no need to worry.\" That's why she might say such things. Since your mother is not considerate in this regard, you can take care of yourself. When your mother is using the vacuum cleaner to clean the floor, take the initiative to leave. In my house, my dad smokes. I used to get very angry and asked him to stop smoking, but my dad would get upset and say, \"I smoke in the living room/dining table, if you don't like it, just walk away.\" After thinking about it, he's not smoking in my bedroom, so I started finishing my meal early and leaving on my own (I used to stay at the table and chat with everyone). My dad also puts up with it and waits until I finish eating, then jokingly asks me, \"Have you finished eating? I want to smoke after you're done.\" Deal with it on a case-by-case basis, don't escalate the situation, try to understand each other with your mother, and take good care of yourself~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! When I saw Professor Longbar's response, please forgive me, but I laughed. This statement does have a certain significance. But there is no exaggeration here. Everyone desires to be cared for and valued, and everyone experiences the need to avoid allergens. If we understand the severity of allergic reactions caused by dust when vacuuming, we can promptly avoid dust sources or wear masks and goggles. If your mother knows that dust will trigger more severe allergic reactions for you but still continues to vacuum in front of you, then she is indeed neglecting you, not only your feelings but also your health and safety. Expressing discomfort about this without receiving attention can make one feel uneasy, breaking our fundamental expectation of being cared for. On the other hand, it is clear that you hope to receive as much attention as possible from your mother, regardless of what she is doing. You hope she can prioritize your feelings, emotions, and matters. Perhaps she needs to pay attention to your dust allergies when mopping the floor, and when cooking, she needs to consider whether you prefer sweet or salty flavors... In your description of the incident, you didn't mention why you didn't go into your room when your mother was about to vacuum, and you didn't mention why she insisted on reminding you \"four times repeatedly.\" It is also unclear whether vacuuming will cause more severe allergic reactions for you, so it is not possible to evaluate whether your mother truly disregarded your feelings or if she had reasons that prevented her from avoiding it this time. If you are capable, you can choose to take care of yourself; if you have the energy, you can also make an effort to take care of your mother. She undoubtedly hopes that you can recognize her hard work and empathize with her efforts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, through your description, I can sense your sensitivity and the feeling of being ignored. You mentioned that you are allergic to dust, but I am not sure about the severity of your allergy. Do you need to wear a dust mask? You asked your mom to wait for you to enter the house before she vacuums, but she didn't listen. You said you repeated it four times, but she didn't stop, and you felt ignored. Based on this incident alone, it may not be able to explain much. I wonder if there are other things that make you feel ignored? Regarding this matter, perhaps you can try a different approach: wait inside the house for your mom to finish vacuuming before going out, or wear a dust mask. Because if you are outside and encounter someone cleaning, you cannot ask them to wait for you to leave before they clean, right? We always have to think about how to deal with dust allergies. Learn to adapt to the outside world instead of expecting others to adapt to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17438
       },
       {
        "question": "24-year-old woman, first time resigning, feeling extremely nervous about the upcoming interview, what should she do?",
        "description": "Last night I sent a WeChat message to my boss saying that there was something going on at home, but she didn't respond to my message last night. I'm sure my boss will want to talk to me about it today, and I'm feeling really nervous right now. I don't know how to lie, and I'm really scared.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, workplace interpersonal relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that: (1) This is your first time resigning and you feel nervous. (2) The upcoming interview makes you scared. Here is my analysis and suggestion, hope it helps you: (1) Firstly, there's always a first time in life, and it is normal to feel nervous and anxious. Especially when facing an authoritative figure, it's natural to feel uneasy. (2) Secondly, having a pre-resignation interview is normal. Just provide a suitable reason, not to encourage lying, but to let you know that working here is your choice. As long as you communicate clearly and maintain a cooperative attitude, there won't be any problems. (3) Lastly, don't fear authority, trust your judgment, and believe in yourself. #The world and I love you, wishing you the best~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15379
       },
       {
        "question": "My parents don't understand me at all, I'm really disappointed. I want to die.",
        "description": "My parents are really not happy with me, They really don't understand me at all. They only know how to criticize me based on one thing. I really don't understand. I have been working hard. When I play with my phone, they say I am just wasting time. They say I stay at home all day, but when I go out for a walk, why do they say that? And this kind of thing from them is not just happening once. They only remember the bad things I have done for several years. Every time I do something they are not satisfied with, they talk about it like this. I am really disappointed. They can always criticize me based on one thing. They say I am not good at studying but I am also trying hard. I am really trying to change myself but they haven't seen it at all, not at all, really not at all. This time, I did not do well in my exams. Because my parents went out to work and my grandparents took care of me. They have been raising me and bringing me up. I did not do well this year and my grandma sent my dad a picture. My dad and they just started scolding me, using a lot of bad words, maybe I really have to leave.",
        "keywords": "Family, communication with parents",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the main topic, I give you a big hug and thank you for sharing your troubles with me. Your parents left to work, and you live with your grandparents. Your academic performance is not currently ideal, and combined with your parents' lack of understanding of your studies and life, they constantly criticize and blame you, which makes you feel more frustrated. 1. Parents' expectations: Your parents care about your achievements even when they are working outside. This shows that they genuinely care about you and have high expectations for you. Perhaps they believe that working outside is difficult, but if their child receives education, they won't have to work as hard in the future. Therefore, they attach great importance to your achievements. Sometimes repeating the same thing can really annoy a child, but behind the nagging, it is their way of expressing concern, and they may not know how to reason with you. Therefore, when communicating with you, they mix in their own emotions. 2. Communication with parents: Child, your parents don't participate in your life and can't see your changes. Maybe it's because of the distance between you. Your grandparents may pay more attention to the areas where you need improvement and therefore provide more information to your parents in this regard. You can try to communicate with your parents through your grandparents, let your grandparents see your progress, and inform your parents about your situation. You can also ask your teacher for help, ask the teacher to report your progress to your parents. Additionally, you can take the initiative and set achievable small goals for yourself, and actively tell your parents about your goals. Once you achieve them, let them see your changes. Give yourself and your parents some time. In terms of getting along with your parents, try changing your way of communication and ask them to solve problems with you instead of venting emotions to each other. In terms of your studies, you can ask teachers and classmates for help to improve your learning efficiency, allowing your parents to see more tangible changes in you. Keep it up! Believe that you can handle the communication problem with your parents and adjust your study status. Best wishes! You are loved by the world and me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15753
       },
       {
        "question": "4-year-old girl is injured and doesn't allow anyone to see. How should parents provide guidance?",
        "description": "My daughter is 4 years and 2 months old. A few days ago, she was injured in her right hand by a car and has a slight abrasion on her face. She doesn't allow anyone other than her parents to see her now. As parents, how should we provide guidance?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, and psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your question, I understand your concerns as parents for your child. From the analysis of your question, it can be seen that your child's current behavioral reactions are a result of traumatic experiences from the accident. [Try to avoid contact with strangers and protect her sense of safety] I believe that she must be filled with fear from that incident, and it will take some time for her young mind to gradually heal from such trauma. Although her physical injuries may heal quickly, the internal shock she endured requires the slow guidance and companionship of her parents. She currently lacks a sense of safety in her heart, but luckily, as parents, you have always given her enough love and care, and she can still feel secure by your side. Therefore, at this stage, it's best to try to respect her preferences and avoid too many people visiting, especially those she is not familiar with, because it will make her feel intense unease, which will not be beneficial to her recovery from internal trauma. [More positive care and effective companionship] To help the child overcome the shadows in her heart as soon as possible, the responsibility falls on the parents because you are her ultimate security. Therefore, parents should provide her with more positive care, try to fulfill her wishes and thoughts, and listen more patiently. Additionally, she needs more effective companionship. Nothing can relieve a child's inner fear more than interactive games. You can play card games and tell stories together, doing everything possible to help her overcome her fears as soon as possible. I hope the above response is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Children may feel ashamed and believe that their injuries make them look imperfect or unattractive. They may be afraid of being mocked or rejected by others. Children may struggle to accept these wounds. Parents need to first stand on a foundation of acceptance and help the child overcome these psychological obstacles. In my mind, I can imagine some scenarios where parents carefully observe their own imperfections with their child and say, \"Look, what is this? This is a part of us that is different from others, it's a special gift from God. See, when you got run over by a car, it must have hurt a lot. This is something that adults experience but other children don't. Mom and Dad feel sorry for you, but also feel lucky for you. Because we only have some bruises and abrasions, it's not more serious than that! But that's okay, your swollen arm is actually a bit cute, does it look like Patrick Star's arm? The scraped part on your face will heal quickly too, it's like it's been painted with some colors. Mom and Dad will never dislike you, and neither will others. If you feel that others are looking at you with negative eyes, it's because they can't understand this kind of beauty. Mom and Dad still love you, and will love you even more, take good care of you. Others will cherish you even more!\" Perhaps my words may not be suitable for your child, but you can try considering this approach. A child's heart is pure, and sometimes all they need is for us to help them change their perspective, so they can gain the strength to face setbacks. You are a parent who cares deeply about your child's inner world. I hope your child recovers soon!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! I really understand your daughter's situation and can imagine that the physical pain she is experiencing must be difficult for her. And her emotional pain may be even harder... After hearing your description, I still have some questions that I need to clarify in order to better help you and your daughter. Firstly, do you believe that she doesn't want others to see the wounds on her face, or does she simply not want to see anyone other than her parents? Do you think she feels self-conscious and doesn't want to be seen by others? I ask these questions because a four-year-old girl may not have fully developed an understanding of how others perceive her appearance. In other words, she may not care about how others see her, except for her parents. At this age, children can be shy simply because they are unfamiliar, not because they are concerned about their appearance. So, this leads to my second question: how do you and your family view her wounds? Do you think they are unattractive? Do you unintentionally show a slightly displeased expression? Perhaps, on a subconscious level, the child interprets this as not being liked by her parents and that they don't want her to embarrass herself in front of others. (Please note: all of these processes occur on a subconscious level, so no matter how much you try to reassure her verbally, she may not be able to internalize it.) These factors may contribute to her desire to avoid others. However, I also think that we might overlook the fear and anxiety she feels about the traumatic event of being hit by a car. This might also be a reason why she doesn't want to see people. After experiencing a traumatic event, children tend to seek refuge with their trusted parents and reject interaction with outsiders. This also relates to how the incident happened, whether there were any external factors, etc. Her subconscious avoidance of others may also stem from a fear of getting hurt again. Lastly, what are your concerns about this situation? Is it because your child doesn't want to go to preschool? Or are you worried that she might be criticized for being impolite? Or is it that her unwillingness to see people makes you feel ashamed in front of your relatives and friends? Generally speaking, this kind of situation usually doesn't last too long, and you don't need to do anything special. It will naturally improve over time. Children have strong self-healing abilities. Wishing your child a healthy and happy growth!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your narrative, the child has already started to learn to hide their weaknesses. This is a normal psychological mechanism for humans, just like how a person does not want to show their painful or negative side to others. For the child, she just feels that she is not beautiful, hurt, and does not want others to see it, so there is no need to overcorrect. Just need to convey some concepts, for example, these traumas will completely heal in a few days as if they never happened. After the wound heals, she will naturally improve and does not need excessive education. You can tell your child that some traumas require help from others, so she cannot completely hide herself. If you want your child to be able to be happy even if she is hurt, you can guide her to interact with others and play with some wounds. Because when a 4-year-old child has some external injuries, the behavior she exhibits must be related to the people around her, which also catches your attention. So, how to guide the child in dealing with accidental injuries with your words and actions in the future. At least for now, your child has entered an avoidance mode, and there is no right or wrong. She will make adjustments based on her own cognition and experience in the future. You, as parents, are crucial in this process of forming cognition and experience. Take this current situation as an example, you can stick a band-aid on your hand and show it to her. In everyday life, when you show some imperfections or flaws, and you can still be seen by others, she will think that it is okay, it is not a big deal. This will slowly influence her behavior. Leading by example is still crucial.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4743
       },
       {
        "question": "Having impulsive sexual relationships with someone you don't genuinely like, and then breaking up abruptly, do you feel regret afterward?",
        "description": "Ended a relationship that lasted for over a year. Afterwards, I wanted to find someone to fill the emotional void, so I connected with a senior student online whom I had never met. We chatted for a few days and then met up. But I soon realized that this person didn't meet my expectations in various aspects. However, I wasn't good at rejecting people face to face, so I thought I could adapt to being together. After we became intimate, I realized that I still couldn't accept it, so I decisively broke up. Now, school is about to start, and I'm afraid this situation will affect my future school life. I don't want to have any ties with this person again. Please help me relieve my concerns.",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual behavior.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you a warm hug (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You had a relationship with someone you disliked due to impulsivity. (2) You have now broken up and want to have no further contact with that person. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: Entering a relationship impulsively will usually lead to dissatisfaction. However, regardless of whether it was impulsive or not, it was still your choice. So when you feel that you have made a wrong decision and want to completely distance yourself from that choice, it is important to have a clear and honest conversation with the other person, allowing them to understand your feelings. When you return to school, do not let this situation affect you. Regardless of whether it was impulsive or not, you simply had a romantic relationship that didn't work out with the right person, and that's it. Don't overthink it. #The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
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        ],
        "questionID": 11550
       },
       {
        "question": "The college entrance exam is coming up and my grades are at the bottom. I feel trapped and very uncomfortable.",
        "description": "The college entrance examination is approaching, and my grades are at the bottom of the class, which makes me feel terrible. I feel very depressed every day. The only time I feel relaxed is when I play on my phone at home. But I know that I need to set goals and make plans, but I don't want to do any of it. It feels really bad when I see my grades being worse than others and I attack myself. The average scores of everyone else are getting higher and higher, and if I manage my time well, I feel like I can do well in Chinese and math. I know that I am weak in English, but I really don't want to do it because I know I will be scolded. The thing that I can't tell anyone is that I know where I am weak. If I tell others that I want to study hard and they give me advice, I don't want to follow it. I feel like all my attention is focused on my mental state, trying to make myself happy and not collapse. If studying hard is painful, I choose to make myself more comfortable, but I may face a lot of incomprehension from others. I understand all the great theories, but I can't explain the pain I feel. I only know that once I choose to study, I may look good on the outside, but inside I will definitely feel depressed and in great pain, not allowing myself to make any mistakes. If I choose my mentality, I have to accept that my grades will not be too high, not like my ideal. I feel like I can't move, and it's very uncomfortable. I dare not do anything and I hope to adjust my mentality in college and then work hard. That would be at least fulfilling and happy, unlike the present suffering.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I'm glad to answer your question. According to your description, I understand that: 1. The college entrance examination is approaching and your grades are not good. 2. You are afraid of putting in effort and just want to maintain a relaxed and pleasant mindset. 3. You don't know how to make an effort and are feeling stuck. The pressure before the college entrance examination is the biggest challenge that all students will face. The fear of mental breakdown that you mentioned is something that needs attention. Your main concern now is the visible distress caused by the pressure of studying and the psychological burden of choosing between putting in effort or prioritizing mental relaxation. This burden may be even greater than the pressure of studying courses and needs to be resolved urgently. In this dilemma, you are contemplating whether to study hard or prioritize mental relaxation, wasting time, which will only increase the mental burden and ultimately leave you without a solution. With the college entrance examination approaching, time is the most valuable resource, so you cannot continue to hesitate. In fact, you want to put in effort, but you feel overwhelmed by the backlog of coursework and don't know where to start. You believe that moments of relaxation while playing with your phone are the most effective way to relieve the burden and distress academically and mentally. This approach is actually an evasive behavior, which is normal for a student of your age who hasn't fully developed strong willpower. Perhaps you fear the frustration that failure may bring while making an effort. In reality, the process of realizing self-worth involves experiencing and learning from failures, as success often comes with setbacks. By learning from these experiences and discovering the study methods that suit you best, you can improve your academic performance practically. Facing the upcoming college entrance examination or university life, you will gain insights into studying and improve the efficiency of your learning. Moreover, the willpower developed when making an effort and overcoming difficulties in studying is an important quality to face future challenges in life. The joy in your heart can be achieved from different perspectives. After putting in effort and achieving excellent results, the psychological pleasure you experience will undoubtedly be greater than when playing with your phone. Based on your description, you care a lot about your academic performance, but you currently lack the courage to face the challenges and effort required when your grades are not good. The most difficult part in the process of studying is to calm down and get into the studying state. Once you get through this initial period, you will be able to focus on studying. The problem you are facing now is whether you can resist the temptation of outside entertainment, which is also known as self-control. To develop self-control, you first need to have the determination to resist the temptations around you. This determination can be motivated by long-term goals, such as wanting to become an outstanding individual. Then, consciously stay away from activities that may tempt you and start by cultivating self-control in areas that you enjoy and are neutral stimuli for you. Then, transfer this self-control to subjects in which you struggle. Divide your goals into smaller segments, and each time you complete a goal, reward yourself promptly to reinforce positive learning behavior. One important fact is that taking immediate action is the most effective way to reduce anxiety when you feel uncertain about whether or not to put in effort. Finally, I hope the world treats you with kindness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21760
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I feel so lonely, have difficulty expressing myself, and feel distant from many people?",
        "description": "Lately, there are times when I think about unhappy past events and when combined with current unhappy situations, I always end up crying. I feel very lonely and helpless. There is also no outlet, I don't want to talk to my family, friends, or even my partner. I feel that even if I did talk to them, they wouldn't truly understand and I feel very vulnerable. But honestly, I am mentally exhausted.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, counseling and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Honey, give me a kiss and a hug. You mentioned that recently, whenever you think of something unhappy, you always cry, but the people around you don't want to talk to you because they feel they can't relate. Indeed, this feeling is very uncomfortable. You feel like you want to share or seek help from others, but the people around you can't assist you, so you end up feeling trapped in a sad mood. But now you have reached out on this platform to share, seeing so many strangers offering you suggestions, I don't know how you feel now. Everyone is trying to bring warmth to you. However, all we know is that you are very sad, and we don't know what happened to you, so it's difficult to give you specific steps, and we can only comfort you with words as much as possible. Your family, friends, and loved ones are just like us, hoping to help you. So when you confide in them, they also want to support you. Do you think they can't relate because they can't understand your feelings? Have you tried explaining your emotions in detail to them? If they don't have enough information, it's also hard for them to comprehend your inner world. Indeed, everyone goes through vulnerable periods, feeling sad and isolated. But all of this is normal, and each time we rely on our own strength and the support of the people around us to courageously move forward. I hope I can assist you. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Even the closest people to us often cannot empathize with us and sometimes even misinterpret what we are trying to express, ultimately causing us to gradually close off our inner selves. In fact, we can also sense the same situation from others, such as when our lover is in a bad mood today, and the thing that has caused their bad mood has nothing to do with us at all. So, should we choose to watch coldly from the sidelines, or quietly accompany them? Let's consider from a different perspective. If, at this moment, the other person truly cannot understand our mood, but they silently accompany us, giving us a simple hug and encouragement when appropriate, telling us that no matter what happens, they're here for us, then even though they may not be able to offer substantial help, having someone like that by our side seems like a good thing. Previously, when I had problems, I was unwilling to confide in others, and often rejected their help, causing me to always feel like no one understood me. Later, I started to gradually accept myself and understand others, and I am grateful for every person who has accompanied me, even though they may not offer me substantial help, their presence is a form of emotional support. The feeling of loneliness is indeed painful, but we can be more proactive, perhaps leading to different rewards. The world loves you and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Loneliness is an internal emotional experience rather than a response to external circumstances. It is related to a lack of love and also a longing for love. Lately, have you been thinking about unhappy past events? Did something unpleasant happen that reminded you of the past? Those unhappy experiences in the past were borne silently by you alone, right? Your family may rarely understand you, and they may even be the ones causing your unhappiness. As a result, you no longer trust them, nor do you trust friends or lovers, right? Actually, everyone's personality is different when it comes to friends and lovers. If someone doesn't understand you, it doesn't mean ten people won't. It's just that you have built a wall in your heart, keeping them at a distance. They can't get close to you, and you don't want to give your heart away, so you feel isolated and helpless. It's exhausting to face your loneliness, sadness, and vulnerability all by yourself. If you don't trust your family, friends, or lover and worry that they won't empathize with you, there is another outlet, such as professional mental support. Asking questions here today is one of those outlets. Although you haven't mentioned the details, it may not be convenient to discuss them in detail on this platform, but at least it makes you feel that there is a solution to every problem. You don't have to bear it alone and cry. We often feel distant from others because we ourselves aren't willing to be close. We may unconsciously create emotional barriers with others, so how can we expect to get closer to each other? You can try to establish trust with those few people you feel close to, such as your best friend and your lover. If you don't trust them, they might feel uncomfortable. If they are unable to provide support for deeper psychological issues, then seek professional mental help. In any case, there will be a way. I hope you can relax a little. There is no insecurity outside, only your own imagination. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have heard a saying before that there is nothing that can make someone truly understand unless the needle is pricked into their own body; others will never know the pain. Friends and family are important to us as we grow. Family raises us as we grow up, while friends are the ones who grow with us on our journey. Generally, the ones who can become our good friends are those who have similar personalities or are similar in many aspects, which is why we can have good conversations. If you haven't met such friends yet, don't worry, because one day you will. Friends are often the garbage bin for our emotions. Although sometimes they may not be able to truly understand the feelings you express, they can be good listeners. They can also give us appropriate advice when we are in distress and need to make choices. Sometimes, shedding tears is a special way to release the pressure in our hearts. But if possible, it is necessary to open up to our good friends and have a heart-to-heart conversation. You can give it a try.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is difficult to truly understand someone else's feelings. Maybe you just hope that the people around you can show some concern when you most need help. If you don't feel like talking to your family, try talking to your partner and see how they respond. Perhaps they don't really understand you. We all have some kind of connection with the people around us. When it comes to intimate relationships, opening up your heart is maybe what you need to learn. Some things can be done alone, but others require others' help. I had a situation before where I needed to make copies at a print shop. I didn't ask my friends because I thought it might be inconvenient for them. So I found a nearby print shop on a map app and took a taxi there. Later, when I told my friend about it, they said there was actually a print shop right next to where I live. I had unnecessarily gone in circles. Being strong alone, occasional moments of vulnerability are seen as emotional, and the person involved feels like they still need to be strong. But in reality, sometimes they are already stronger than others.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "@Hello friend, I understand your feelings and I hope I can help you! First of all, your way of dealing with things is related to your personality. When you encounter many things, you are unable to digest them internally and shedding tears is a way for you to release your emotions at the moment. Secondly, your sense of loneliness mainly stems from feeling that you have no friends or family members to confide in. In fact, your parents will always love you and they are your harbor, while choosing a lover or friends requires careful consideration. Lastly, if you have concerns about confiding in familiar people, I suggest you seek counseling with a therapist, as it can be a very helpful approach. I wish you can find an outlet for your emotions and if my words can help you, that would be great!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5635
       },
       {
        "question": "How should one let go of a mentality of comparison, knowing that envy makes people ugly?",
        "description": "\"I know that jealousy makes people ugly, but I am deeply trapped in it. I feel like I am just garbage.\"",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from a human perspective, especially when two individuals are starting from the same starting line and are familiar with each other, and the gap between them is not too wide, the psychological changes experienced by the one who falls behind often accompany an overestimation or underestimation of self-development. This is what we often refer to as the \"sour grapes\" law. From an objective standpoint, we usually believe that if we don't succeed, we think that others are just lucky and only see their glory, while ignoring the reality of their suffering behind the scenes. Based on factual evidence, when society has developed to a certain extent, it is difficult for us to surpass our understanding of cognitive things, and sometimes we only believe in the limited illusion we see in front of us. Although the existence of jealousy can indeed make people deviate from the right path, in itself, it is also a manifestation of ambition and a refusal to accept defeat. The fear is not of being ignorant, but of being compared to others. The desire to win and the sense of competition arise in this premise. Therefore, it is very normal for such situations to exist. It is just that there will be a period of contradiction and entanglement in specific circumstances. The contradiction lies in understanding oneself but being unable to resolve the issue, while the entanglement lies in being deeply trapped and unable to free oneself. Here are a few points for your reference: 1. Starting now, adjust your mindset and calm yourself down. Solve your emotions first, then solve the problem. 2. Under certain time and conditions, achieve a goal and gain a sense of accomplishment. 3. Expose yourself to external matters more, cultivate some good interests, or participate in outdoor public welfare activities to divert your attention. 4. The best way to avoid overestimating or underestimating yourself is to be down-to-earth and calmly face everything around you, attracting positive energy. 5. The true change in oneself does not necessarily lie in the result of the problem, but often the process we go through in dealing with the problem. Inspire yourself and influence others. Best wishes.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 14851
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the psychology behind my husband not liking me dressing up?",
        "description": "Some men do not like their wives to dress up, is it because they genuinely dislike it or because they have other thoughts? Should wives dress up in front of their husbands?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In regards to this matter, I have also heard several of my friends discuss it. Here are my personal thoughts and insights, hoping they can be helpful to you. There is a saying, \"There are no ugly women in the world, only lazy women.\" I believe that every woman can learn to enhance her appearance and make herself look more beautiful. From the perspective of genetic evolution, men naturally gravitate towards \"beauty\". This doesn't mean that men are shallow, but rather because \"beauty\" conveys the idea that the opposite sex possesses good genetic qualities. This can be explained through biological instincts. Therefore, men are sensitive to and prefer \"beauty\". However, when it comes to your husband not liking you to dress up, it clearly conflicts with men's instinctive desires. The most likely reason for this conflict is your husband's inferiority complex. This complex arises from a cognitive belief, possibly subconsciously thinking that if a woman is too attractive, it will attract competition from other men. Yet, he feels inadequate to compete, so ultimately, he chooses to compromise in this conflict. In my opinion, for this issue, you can assist your husband in the following ways: 1. Provide him with more affirmation and encouragement, making him feel appreciated by his woman, gradually helping him build confidence. 2. Engage in open communication with him, expressing your true thoughts, making him understand that you dress up to make him happier and more secure.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8798
       },
       {
        "question": "The money that was borrowed isn't being returned, and I'm very angry. Why aren't they paying it back?",
        "description": "First, I lent nearly 100,000 yuan to my older brother for hair transplantation, marriage, and having children. I also lent over 30,000 yuan to my cousin for his business (which failed and cost me 1 million yuan in the past year). My ex-boyfriend, who owes me 10,000 yuan, has only paid back half. I have been feeling very depressed in recent years. It seems like my brother, cousin, and ex-boyfriend all have difficulties repaying the money they borrowed. Why is it that other people can repay their debts, but they don't seem to have the concept of repaying their debts? And they are all men, why didn't they consider their ability to repay before borrowing the money? It has been three to five years, which is too long of a time.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand from your question that you are currently confused about why others never return the money they borrow. In fact, when we think about why someone doesn't repay a loan, we can also think about why someone doesn't repay us when we lend them money. If a phenomenon happens to the same person many times, there is likely a problem with that person that we have not seen. So let's think: what is the character of the people who borrowed money from you? Are they only not repaying you? Did you happen to encounter a few untrustworthy people, or do you tend to associate with these types of people? In the end, we will find that the answers are within ourselves.\u3010Boundaries in Relationships - Territory Awareness Everyone Needs\u3011In interpersonal relationships, especially in close relationships, we often blur our psychological boundaries. From your question, we can see that these people who don't repay their debts are close to you, and you seem to have not guarded your own psychological boundaries. You keep stepping back and making compromises, ultimately allowing them to encroach on your psychological territory, making it normal for them not to repay their debts. Because in their hearts, they do not feel guilty about owing you money, as you have blurred the boundaries and your interests are their interests, so this sense of guilt naturally diminishes.\u3010The Face We Can't Let Go - The \"Cause and Effect\" of Lost Boundaries\u3011So, when it comes to not repaying debts, have you actively asked them to repay? Have you been passively waiting for the money to be returned? There is a fundamental difference between these two scenarios. If you consistently ask for repayment, then the problem may lie with them. However, if you are only passively waiting, there may be another psychological phenomenon behind the loss of boundaries, which is not being able to let go of face. Behind the reluctance to let go of face hides the logic of \"How can I ask my family for money? They are my family.\" This is a typical state of \"blurring the boundaries between you and me.\" It is also another result of the loss of psychological boundaries. Therefore, please reflect on yourself, be aware of yourself. Even if you get your money back, a similar problem may arise next time. If you want to address the root cause, start by working on yourself. I hope this response will inspire you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ It's clear that you are a kind and loyal person. You willingly helped your older brother, cousin, and ex-boyfriend when they were in need. However, it seems that they have taken your help for granted and haven't shown any signs of repaying the money even after a long time. I completely understand your feelings. It's not easy for anyone to earn money, and the amount you lent out is not a small sum. I can sense your frustration and anger. Have you ever considered why they haven't repaid the money for such a long time? Is it because they see you as family and don't have clear boundaries in their minds, or do they think you are too lenient and forgiving? Or perhaps they simply don't have the means to repay the debt. You question why you didn't consider their ability to repay before lending them money, but the same goes for borrowing money: when you lend money to someone, you should also consider their ability to repay and assess their trustworthiness. [Some advice] Be cautious and learn to say no. When faced with someone asking to borrow money again in the future, you can consider their creditworthiness and ability to repay, and learn to decline. Your older brother, cousin, and ex-boyfriend have already demonstrated their bad behavior towards you, so it's only natural not to lend them money anymore. The same goes for others - while emotions are important, careful consideration is necessary when money is involved. Remind them proactively. It has indeed been three to five years. For personal loans without any written agreement or promissory note, whether to repay and when to repay entirely depends on the individual's integrity and character. You can proactively remind them and observe how they respond. Have a good conversation with them. If they are truly facing difficulties, you can let them repay gradually. Pay attention to the other person's financial situation when lending money. After lending money, keep an eye on their financial information. If their financial situation worsens, promptly reclaim the money, and be mindful of the loan's duration, making sure it doesn't extend for too long. I hope you can resolve this situation as soon as possible~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "# Why don't they repay? Do they not have the concept of repaying debts in their hearts? # Let me explain, because you don't understand this society, and you choose to trust them, that's why they come to you for loans. The power of choice lies with you! Suppose you choose to lend, don't you sign an agreement when you borrow? Just like borrowing from a bank, they always require a signed agreement, including interest rates, repayment methods, and repayment deadlines. If you don't sign an agreement, does that mean you are burying hidden dangers for lending them money that they don't have to repay? In other words, you are giving them this confidence, because without an agreement, you cannot sue them legally and make them bear the consequences of not repaying. Whether or not they return the money depends entirely on their character... If you still have to lend, you can choose to lend 20% of the amount they need (for example) to test their integrity. The cost is the potential risk that exists if you don't have a way to bind them. Whether or not they repay depends entirely on their character...If banks had to borrow money from people like you, they wouldn't have to ask you for loans, right? Suppose you don't lend, can't you find a reason to refuse? The cost may be that your relationship with them may not be good in the short term, but having a meal together, giving gifts during the New Year, should be able to ease the situation. It's still better than the current situation. Looking at this matter from a different perspective, each time you lend money, the amount becomes less. This shows that you are consciously reducing losses. Isn't this growth? The final loss of a few thousand yuan allowed you to see your boyfriend's credibility issue. Isn't that great? In the future, it's best to have everything in black and white when dealing with money matters. This way, trust can be maintained through the law, which is better than relying on emotions. In the end, if a breakup occurs, at least emotions can remain emotions and money can remain money. Everything is clear and straightforward. So why choose to trust relationships over contracts?",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good evening, Questioner! I am impressed by your generosity and righteousness. Compared to those three guys, you appear even more manly. However, it is obvious that money doesn't just appear out of thin air, right? It is the result of hard work and labor. Your anger is justified. But looking at the problem from a different perspective, why do your brother, cousin, and ex-boyfriend all come to you to borrow money? There's a saying: \"Help those in need, not the ones in poverty.\" If they were truly trustworthy individuals, maybe they wouldn't have lost so much money due to greed or carelessness in business. If they have money in hand but still refuse to repay it, consider it as paying tuition to learn more about each person's true character. Once, twice, but not three times. You need to reflect on why you keep stumbling in the matter of lending money. Unless it's not your hard-earned money, be cautious in making friends and protect yourself. Only then can you take care of others. It seems that their trust in you has been overdrawn, and they are repeatedly reminding you not to easily trust someone. A wise person knows others, while an enlightened person knows oneself. Let's strive together to become wise individuals.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This is really frustrating. I loaned money to people close to me, but they haven't paid me back for a long time. Do they even understand the concept of repaying debts? Everyone knows the importance of repaying debts, but some people just don't follow the rules, just like how everyone knows to stop at a red light, but there are always people running the red light. It's hard to say if they considered their ability to repay before borrowing money. When they borrow money, they are always in a rush, and whether they will actually repay or not is something that comes later. If they had thought about the consequences and planned ahead, they wouldn't have asked for money for certain things. Borrowing money itself is a learning experience that allows us to understand human nature better. The only way to handle it now is to protect our rights if we are also concerned about our own financial situation. If the money itself isn't our main worry, but rather their behavior, we should communicate with them to understand their attitude and learn their true character.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you everyone, after reading your responses, I feel much better. I really can't let go of family ties. I helped my cousin because his father had helped me financially for my education. My older brother is really pitiful, he's older but still unable to get married. I initially thought that borrowing and repaying money was common. But I didn't expect it to become such a difficult problem. My plan is that from now on, I probably won't lend any money at all. Like that friend said, reality has worn away my trust in others. I wouldn't even give a penny to a beggar anymore, even if they are my own relatives, I would ask for it back. But that is not the real me.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is not easy to recover borrowed money. Here are a few suggestions to consider: As the saying goes, if you lend money and it's not returned, you must pursue the debt. Call and talk in person, explaining that you urgently need the money. Keep following up with phone calls, and if necessary, visit them in person if they refuse to return it. Since these people you lent money to are relatively close to you, you should be able to get it back sooner or later. It's not worth getting frustrated and upset over helping them with your kind heart. Nowadays, it's best not to lend money. Even your closest relatives may be difficult to reach, let alone strangers. If you really must lend, don't lend too much and be prepared for the possibility that you won't get it back, so you won't feel too sad. The best advice is not to lend at all. Can you manage to do that?",
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        ],
        "questionID": 6932
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling lost in life, not staying true to one's original intention, unable to maintain a calm mindset.",
        "description": "Because of the postgraduate entrance examination, I seem unable to get over this negative event. I constantly feel like crying, like dying, regretting my choices. Here's what happened: when I was preparing for the postgraduate examinations and adjustments, I received interview notifications from School A and School B. School A has a bigger reputation and a higher ranking, so I always wanted to go there. Both schools originally had interviews on the same afternoon, so I told my teacher that I would give up the interview at School B. Later, the teacher at School B changed the interview time to the same morning, and after the interview, they sent me a pre-admission notice that required an immediate reply. If I didn't respond, it would be considered as giving up the admission qualification. At that time, maybe because I didn't have full confidence in School A, in a moment of panic, I chose to accept School B. Afterwards, I felt like everything was spinning, filled with regret and self-hatred. I hated myself for not sticking to my original intention, for not even giving myself a chance to try. It seems like my depression has relapsed. I really hate myself, also hate the behavior of School B for snatching students, and I am filled with dissatisfaction and resentment towards School B. My parents, as well as classmates and friends, are all urging me to go to School B and earn a graduate degree. I don't know if I want to go or not. I really dislike the atmosphere of this school, and I feel like I can't accept School B with a calm mindset. I have thoughts of death. I feel like I have no value in this world...",
        "keywords": "Emotions, guilt and shame, panic and helplessness, tender and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I totally understand how you feel, sending you a hug~ The person who posted this feels regretful for choosing school B out of desperation. Now, I hope you can calm down and ask yourself, \"If you were given another chance, under the same circumstances, would you hesitate to choose school A?\" I'm afraid you wouldn't, and even if you had chosen A, you wouldn't have been so confident. Objectively speaking, although you were in a hurry at the time, choosing school B still had some logical basis, rather than being arbitrary. You also know that you didn't have a guarantee for school A, and going to school B, although not as good as A, is still better than missing out on both schools, right? At least that's probably what you were thinking at the time. As for the resentment towards school B, that came later, because you felt like you missed the opportunity to go to school A because of school B. You can't have your cake and eat it too, maybe that was the most correct choice in that moment. I'm not sure how much difference there really is between school B and school A, that might be the key reason why you're feeling regret. But, life doesn't have so many certainties, is going to school A always better? Is going to school B a guaranteed failure? They're both unknown variables. From this incident, you're completely negating school B, it seems a bit unfair, doesn't it? Are your own thoughts a bit extreme and generalizing? Most things don't go as planned. It's better to accept your current choice because being able to pursue a postgraduate degree is already a very fortunate thing. Your future won't be determined by which school you chose, you still have a bright future ahead of you. Prove yourself through your actions that you deserve a better life. Best wishes~",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation, and congratulations on your success in the postgraduate entrance exams. I personally wanted to go to a more prestigious school, A University, but I have received an admission offer from B University. I feel frustrated about the competition among schools for top students. First of all, you have to admit that you are exceptional to be sought after by schools. So, any school, regardless of which one, would be willing to have you. I feel regretful recently because I couldn't attend the interview at A University. I wonder if I should try to go to A University for the interview. Life always moves between regret and satisfaction, and regret can be a beautiful scenery. If I can't go to A University, I should believe that no matter which school it is, it's just a threshold. What matters is how I develop myself with my own abilities and knowledge. Regret can also be a beautiful chapter in our lives, so why not accept it and let myself flourish in the current environment? Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your story, I must say that every decision we make carries our own responsibility and consequences. I would like to point out that it may not be the best choice, but rather a relatively good one. Have you ever considered what those who have failed the graduate entrance exam would do if they didn't even have the right to choose? In fact, this incident reflects a person's cognitive processing pattern. If we look at it from the perspective of positive versus negative psychology, it is about having a positive mental state versus a negative one. So, based on this premise, how would you convince yourself to have a better mindset regarding your current decision? I don't know if you have thought about the underlying patterns behind this behavior. Let me expand on it and see how you would respond in a similar situation, such as comparing jobs instead of schools, where both companies are facing the same circumstances as mentioned earlier. If you were to make the same choice, what would happen? Let's say two exceptional young men come into your life at the same time, and if you were to compare them, you might choose the latter. What would you do in that case? In the future, your life will have more choices. Learning how to make better decisions when you are relatively independent is something you should strive for. Choosing a relatively good school does not threaten your life, but when the choices you make in your future life can impact the quality of your life, what will you do?",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: After carefully reading the issue you posted, I understand your frustration and helplessness towards the actions of School B. They have gone to extreme lengths to attract students, losing the original purpose of learning and the school. I also feel angry on your behalf. However, at present, \"a hero does not suffer losses\" \u2014 if there are no other remedies, studying at School B is still an option. Analyzing the problem: 1. Due to the graduate entrance exam, it seems like you can't get out of this negative event and constantly feel like crying and even wishing to die, regretting your choice. The situation is as follows: when preparing for the graduate entrance exam, you received interview invitations from School A and School B. School A has more prestige and a higher ranking, and you have always wanted to go there. (You are a serious and responsible person with aspirations, so it is understandable that you want to go to School A. But this negative event is not something you can control, right? Life is full of countless choices, and no one knows for sure which choice is definitely right, right? Of course, passive choices are what you \"don't want.\") 2. Originally, both schools had their interviews on the same afternoon. So you informed the teachers that you would give up the interview at School B. Later, the teachers at School B changed the interview time to the next morning, and after the interview, they sent a preliminary admission notice, requiring you to respond immediately, otherwise it would be considered giving up the qualification for preliminary admission. (From the school's perspective, they all want to attract outstanding talents, which is understandable. But a true gentleman knows what to do and what not to do, and School B did not act like a true gentleman.) 3. Under the circumstances at that time, perhaps because you didn't have full confidence in School A, out of desperation, you chose to accept School B. Afterwards, you felt as if the world was spinning, filled with regret and remorse. It seems like your depression has relapsed. (You are an excellent person, which is why you have excellent worries. But do you know? Everyone in this world worries in countless choices, and most of the worries are not about School A or School B, but about School C or School D. Your choice is not wrong either; you always have to secure one option, right? This is also your cautious choice, isn't it? We, as human beings, cannot break the rules of the school. We also need to learn to \"go with the flow,\" right?) 4. You really hate yourself and also hate the behavior of School B for trying to attract students, harboring resentment towards School B. Your parents, as well as classmates and friends, are all urging you to go to School B to pursue a master's degree, but you don't know if you want to go or not. You strongly dislike the style of this school, and it seems impossible for you to accept School B with a clear mind. You have thought about death and feel that you have no value in this world... (I can feel how painful negative thinking is for you, but negative thinking can be resolved gradually. As long as you are willing, that sense of \"resenent and dissatisfaction\" can also be gradually resolved. After all, we live our lives for ourselves, right? The future still holds infinite possibilities, and if you die, you really will have nothing left.) Facing the problem: \"Feeling lost in life, wanting to die, feeling worthless, what should I do?\" ~ Feeling lost in life means that you have fallen into a \"pit.\" Since it is a pit, you need to get out of it. If it is difficult for you to do it on your own, you need to seek professional psychological counseling. If you do not understand something, we can try to understand it, and if there is something you cannot overcome, we can find a way to get through it, and then you won't feel lost anymore, right? ~ Wanting to die is not worth it; if you die, you will have nothing left, while being alive offers many possibilities. It is impulsive to make life decisions based on a one-time choice. After you graduate, there will be work, marriage, and children to keep you busy. Why would you want to die? If you have depression, we can seek treatment. I have so many successful cases, and this is not something that cannot be overcome. ~ Feeling worthless? \"Value\" is determined by you, not others. Since it is determined by you, if you say it has value, then it has value, and if you say it has no value, then it has no value. Perhaps the same thing can be seen as valuable by me, but you see it as worthless. Who can definitively say whether it has value or not? It should be a matter of perspective, so just adjust your perspective. Closing Remarks: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you can overcome your feeling of being lost soon! I wish you physical and mental health! If you have any confusion, feel free to privately message me!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can feel the dilemma you faced when making this choice, as well as the deep regret you felt when you reluctantly chose School B under pressure. I would like to understand what thoughts led you to consider School B in the first place. I also want to discuss with you what would happen if you chose School A but didn't pass. Additionally, if you really don't want to go to School B, is it possible to select School A next year? Right now, it seems like we're only focusing on one possibility and excluding all other options, which can make you feel trapped. I hope we can have a detailed discussion and sort things out together.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Thanks for everyone's patient answers. I have gained strength to move forward from your replies. I will accept the treatment at b-school while actively treating depression, and living my life with great effort. I am just an ordinary person, and regrets may be unavoidable in life, but living is where infinite possibilities lie. Thank you all again! I will live well!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 21169
       },
       {
        "question": "When there is nothing to do, I always think about playing video games. How can I break free from the allure of gaming?",
        "description": "When there's nothing to do, I always think about playing games. Even if I uninstall them for a few days, I end up downloading them again. I want to know how to break free from gaming and quit playing. I want to immerse myself in studying and real-life activities.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, phone dependence.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I understand how you feel. I also enjoy watching TV shows. I can get really engrossed in them and won't stop until I finish watching. Sometimes, I can go on for an entire day and night without taking a break. However, I have found a greater interest and started gradually replacing it. You don't have to try to replace it all at once. Take it step by step and make gradual changes. Don't set high goals or put too much pressure on yourself, because if you do, you'll feel miserable when you can't meet those expectations. Your new interest and the game can coexist. Let them both gradually become part of your life, and eventually, the game won't make you feel as uncomfortable or painful. Playing games is not only addictive, but it's also a habit that we develop. And habits can only be changed gradually. It's like a temperature difference. If the difference is small, we hardly notice it. But if today it's 30 degrees and tomorrow it's 10 degrees, the sudden change becomes difficult to accept. If you're used to warm weather and suddenly it becomes really cold, it's hard to accept. Give it a try, I believe in you. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, child! Do you often think about playing games when you have nothing to do? I can totally understand that feeling. There was a time when I was obsessed with playing King of Glory. I uninstalled it countless times, but then I would download it again. Every time I uninstalled it, I would get idle and want to play again. I would tell myself that it's just this one time and I won't do it again, but I couldn't resist the temptation each time! Actually, this is a very common phenomenon. Otherwise, there wouldn't be so many students skipping school or climbing over school walls just to play games. Maybe now you realize that you can't keep playing games all the time because it will hinder your studies and even lead you down the wrong path. The fact that you are aware of this and want to change is a good beginning and worth encouraging! How can you make a change? Firstly, it's crucial because once you have the idea, the next step is to take action. And the first step in taking action is to set goals for yourself and establish dreams. I don't know what grade you are in right now, but have you ever thought about what kind of life you want to have in the future? What kind of life do you imagine for yourself? What kind of job do you want? What is your dream? You can write down the answers to these questions and then think about how you can achieve them. When you have goals and directions, you will have a clearer idea of what you want to do next, how to do it, and how to use your time to achieve your dreams. Secondly, reward yourself. With goals in mind, you can reward yourself. For example, if I go without playing games for a month, I will reward myself with a piece of clothing or something else that I desire. By using this incentive, you can ignite your interest in studying and break the habit of playing games. If you want to change, you need to have the determination to change and believe that you can do it. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 1095
       },
       {
        "question": "23-year-old girl, always very unhappy with her boyfriend, what is the reason?",
        "description": "Background: I met my boyfriend online, and we have been living together in Hangzhou for a year now. He is from Chengdu, and I am from Jiangxi, but I moved to Hangzhou. During our time together, we are often very unhappy. He often doesn't consider my feelings, so I end up getting upset, and we give each other the silent treatment for several days. He is more introverted, while I am more outgoing, but I have a quick temper. Issue: Recently, he has been having a lot of trouble with his job and has quit without receiving his salary. So, I suggested that he go back to Chengdu next month. Therefore, I asked him if he would like to do some part-time work to make up for our living expenses. After discussing it, he agreed with my idea and said he would start delivering food. However, during the day, he said it would be too sunny, and at night, he said he couldn't see well. He is nearsighted, but not severely. Still, we decided that he would wear glasses at night when going out for deliveries and spend the day studying for next month's interviews (this was also my suggestion because I am worried that he will continue like this after spending three months looking for a job in Hangzhou). He can also cook dinner during the day. But yesterday, I checked the computer history and found that he hadn't been studying at all. I'm really unhappy about this (he told me yesterday morning that he was studying). Am I being too demanding? Or are we just not compatible anymore? We are trying to adjust to each other, but I still feel so exhausted.",
        "keywords": "Love, arguing, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~ First, give the OP a hug. From the description, we can understand that 1. The OP feels that the boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to their feelings in the process of getting along. 2. After the boyfriend became unemployed, he should have been studying during the day, but the OP discovered that he had deceived them and didn't study during the day. [A little analysis and advice] 1. It is normal for conflicts and the need for adjustments to arise in the process of a couple's relationship, and the OP's thinking about the relationship is reasonable. From the description, it is indeed a problem that the OP's boyfriend has deceived them, but in this process, is there a lack of communication between the OP and the boyfriend? In any relationship, the most important method of problem-solving is communication, expressing one's thoughts, and dealing with problems together. Perhaps after communicating, the OP will find that there are some misunderstandings in each other's perspectives. 2. A couple is a relationship that is about to enter into marriage in the future. If problems arise between them as a couple, it is to some extent a good thing because it allows for the early discovery and resolution of some issues before marriage. The OP and the boyfriend may try to resolve these issues, but if the same problems continue to arise several times, and they have tried various methods but cannot solve them, then perhaps the OP should reconsider whether they are suitable for each other. Hope this helps the OP. Good luck.",
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           {
            "start": 20,
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           {
            "start": 230,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. You mentioned that you had a very unpleasant relationship with him, where he didn't take your feelings into consideration and you responded by giving him the silent treatment. Do you know why he doesn't care about you in that way? It's because he believes that you don't require much care from him. You also mentioned that you are friends on the internet, so when internet friends meet in person, everyone understands the situation. Since you have already made it easy for him to have you, why would he bother caring for you, cherishing you, or considering you? A person must love themselves first in order to have the ability to receive love from others. Love yourself, respect yourself, and before fully trusting someone, engaging in a relationship with that person should not be called dating, it's just a casual encounter. And since you have already engaged in a casual encounter, don't forget your initial intentions, so you can continue. Why transform a casual encounter into dating or even living together? This is the consequence of not sticking to your original intentions. The guy does not respect, value, care for, or even consider the woman. That's the most important reason why he doesn't care about you. 2. When he didn't consider you, you simply got upset. Has the issue been resolved? If he continues to not care about you next time, will you still get upset? In theory, if he doesn't respect you and doesn't even consider you, why do you still hold onto him and not leave? It's because you have become emotionally dependent on him in your romantic history. If you rely on others and depend on them, they will need to carry the burden, so why would they let you depend on them for no reason? It's all about control. For instance, allowing you to give him money, isn't it like you supporting him when he's not working? 3. Regarding the issue of pooling money together, there's another problem: you lack principles and boundaries, so when others see that you don't have principles, they simply quit their job and let you take care of them at home.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10207
       },
       {
        "question": "When people reach middle age, they have many choices. What should they do if they have selective disorder?",
        "description": "In middle age, there are many choices. At this age, I don't know how to handle things well, with low emotional intelligence and a lack of intellectual abilities. It always seems to be me who ends up at a disadvantage. I feel so disgusted with myself. Actually, I don't really care about being taken advantage of, but I'm afraid of being bullied because of being honest. I really want to live a carefree life without having to think about anything, but deep down, I still feel unsatisfied. When I try to change myself, I realize that the more I try, the worse it gets. I don't recognize myself anymore and I feel exhausted. I'm afraid of getting old, getting sick, and being disliked by others. I'm tired, life feels exhausting.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, social adjustment.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello, after reading your question and some of your responses, I want to give you a hug. Actually, from the time we were born until now, there have always been many things around us that require us to make choices. But at the beginning of life, many of these choices are made by our parents. They hold our hands, make us go to school, tell us to study hard, strive to make money, and find someone who will love and care for you. When we grow up and let go of our parents' hands, we will be surprised to find that many of the things our parents said make sense, even if they themselves may not understand it. Then, when we have children, we become the same kind of people as our parents: speaking big clich\u00e9s we don't even believe in, living a boring, monotonous, and painful life. Smiling and pleasant while facing others, but shedding tears when alone. Being able to recognize our own shortcomings and realize our own inadequacies is already remarkable! The beginning of self-growth is often painful and desperate. In this stage, we will discover our shortcomings, become aware of our flaws, and understand that we are trapped, and our abilities are unable to solve this problem. This anxiety will send a warning signal to our brains, forcing us to find ways to solve the problem: we can't continue like this, we must find a way to change ourselves and improve our situation! If we think radiantly about the problems, we will feel that there are many issues we need to face, and our abilities are very limited. When faced with problems, we must learn to tackle them one by one, think about them with focus, weigh our own abilities, and come up with strategies to solve them. You have many aspects of distress, and if you want to solve them all together, it can be very difficult and daunting. If you analyze them one by one and solve them individually, you won't feel as anxious. Let me give you my own story as an example! Current situation: I can't speak well, I'm not good at socializing, and I feel boring and uninteresting in everyday conversations. Scenario: During a gathering, everyone is laughing and having a good time, the girls around me are engaged in lively conversations, but I always struggle to fit in. Analysis of reasons: The girls around me are discussing cosmetics, but I have no knowledge about cosmetics and can't think of any interesting and novel topics. Solution: Observe those who are good at communication, analyze their daily topics, and search for information on similar topics in my free time. Fundamental reason: My everyday life is uninteresting, I don't have my own hobbies, so I should cultivate my own interests and have something I enjoy, in order to have enthusiasm when engaging in conversations. It's not necessary to fit in with others, what's most important is for me to feel comfortable. Throughout this entire process, scenario simulations can help you recall past experiences, and simulating the process is equivalent to reviewing mistakes. It may be painful, but it's crucial as it helps you understand yourself. The analysis of reasons, solutions, and fundamental reasons are the three steps. If you lack confidence, you can seek help from experienced people. Psychological counseling can help us find the fundamental reasons and greatly alleviate our anxiety. As we reach middle age, our appearance won't change much, but as time passes, we are still growing, and we also need to progress. You mentioned that change can make things worse. In that case, please set a long-term goal, and use that goal as an anchor. You need to give yourself a direction, a benchmark, otherwise, you may get lost on the path of change. Keep going, friend! On the road of wind and rain, you have yourself as company! Don't dislike yourself, believe that every decision you have made before had its reasons. You will become better!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that the negative self-evaluations you have are mostly derived from comparing yourself with others. \"I always end up with the short end of the stick, and I find myself very irritating.\" I think you may be angry with yourself: not standing up for yourself, not advocating for your rights. \"Actually, I don't mind being taken advantage of, but I'm afraid of always being bullied because I am honest.\" Indeed, as you mentioned, you don't mind being taken advantage of, but perhaps what you care more about is whether others \"see you\" and whether they consider your feelings and existence. This is about respecting you as a person, especially since you are now in middle age. \"I want to change myself, but I find that the more I try to change, the worse it gets. I don't know myself, and it feels exhausting.\" It is indeed quite challenging to change oneself. When you first start trying to change, it's easy to go overboard and become a \"weirdo\" in your own and others' eyes. Moreover, deliberately wanting to change is a matter of mental awareness, but it doesn't necessarily sync up with your mind and body, so it feels exhausting. Perhaps you fear growing old, fear falling ill, fear being disliked by others, and when you need help, no one reaches out a helping hand to you. So you end up thinking about a lot of things, striving for perfection in everything you do. However, reality is not perfect, so you have to hold back bottled-up resentment, sacrifice your own interests and demands, in order to avoid being disliked by others, and in hopes that someone would lend you a hand in the future. The physical functions of middle-aged people are constantly deteriorating, coupled with the uncertainty and lack of self-confidence caused by past experiences, undoubtedly making it even more difficult for you to make choices now. Try to embrace and accept your current situation. You have reached middle age, and you have weathered the storms of half a lifetime. So what is there left to fear? At the same time, I suggest seeking help from a professional psychologist for personal growth, if you want to see significant improvements. As a middle-aged person myself, I hope my response can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP. Regarding the issue you mentioned, \"fear of aging, fear of getting sick, fear of being disliked, and handling things around you poorly,\" you may have also realized that this is perhaps an \"excessive worry,\" since it exists, it must have its meaning. At the moment when these emotions appear, what is the inner feeling like? If one day these problems really occur, what kind of trouble will they bring to your life, and how will you deal with them? Perhaps in life and work, you are originally a thoughtful person, so in the future, no matter what kind of problems you face, I believe you will have the ability to face and handle them well. I am an assistant to Teacher Ming, sharing some personal thoughts, hoping to be of some help to you. Finally, I would like to share a message from Teacher Chen: \"Having lived in the city for a long time, I still yearn for the tranquility and serenity of the countryside. I enjoy the peaceful moments of reading and the exhilarating feeling of sweating on the sports field. I also enjoy the sense of accomplishment after completing a full marathon of over 40 kilometers. However, it is only after traveling through dozens of countries in Asia and Europe, experiencing various local customs, that I realized that my home is the deepest, most beautiful, and warmest place in my soul. Furthermore, only through experiencing the ups and downs of life and witnessing the various aspects of humanity can one truly understand that the inner self is the source of life's vitality and the refuge for rest.\"",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, there are also people in their 50s who say that their brilliant life is just beginning. Age is not the criteria for evaluation, mentality is. No matter who it is, encountering continuous setbacks is inevitable to lower morale. And on the long road of life, there will always be a series of bad luck moments. If you don't believe it, flip a coin 1000 times and see if the results are evenly distributed or if there are 10 consecutive heads or tails. Be more confident, good people won't always have bad luck. In addition, you can engage in some long-term activities to boost morale, such as running, writing, painting, learning, or anything else that has accumulated value. Record something for yourself every day, at first it may seem insignificant, but after a while, 50 days, 100 days, 300 days, 1000 days, soon every day will bring you a lot of confidence. If you can't compete with young people in other aspects, then compete on who can persist for more days. There's no need to fear being overtaken, right? :)",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 6553
       },
       {
        "question": "Every day, for various reasons, I don't want to live and think about death.",
        "description": "After all, life is quite interesting. If you are feeling unmotivated to live every day for various reasons, how can you quickly end it?",
        "keywords": "behavior, laziness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to see your statement \"life is quite interesting\". I think having such feelings seems to surpass many people. I often hear people around me say, \"Life is meaningless, boring, and has no purpose...\" You think that life is meaningful, and I think your life must be interesting, fun, and bring you happiness and joy. Even if there are reasons that make you not want to live, aren't these interesting aspects worth staying for? You said that you don't want to live every day for various reasons. I don't quite understand the word \"don't need.\" Does it mean useless, unimportant, or something else? Whatever it means, this part may be what you don't like or want to see. However, life is like this, it can't always be smooth, and there are inevitably various problems and troubles. It's like a yin-yang symbol, with black and white within each other. But if because of these negatives, we negate all the beauty and interesting aspects, wouldn't that be a pity? Life is not easy, but if there is a trace of beauty, it is worth our efforts to persist! We can pay more attention to positive and beautiful things, and try to expand the experience of positive emotions as much as possible. With these experiences, all other negative emotional experiences seem to be tolerable. Don't give up! Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14085
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling unable to be happy, thinking that there is nothing good to look forward to in the future, fearing the future.",
        "description": "Starting from junior high school, my self-awareness gradually became clear, which brought me ongoing pain. I don't think I'm good-looking, my personality is average, and my grades, even if I put in effort, are just mediocre. This has led to an unchangeable sense of inferiority in me. I am always hesitant in social interactions, constantly worrying about which action of mine might have caused others' disgust. I am well aware that I can't do anything well, as I have been proven countless times. I am scared of the future that awaits me and can't imagine if I can endure it after experiencing real setbacks. After all, even a trivial setback now is enough to depress me for the whole day. I know that one's joys and sorrows are something that can never be truly understood by others, so I am afraid of confiding everything, as it might dampen others' spirits and make myself fearful.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP hello, hugs. You feel like you're worthless, you feel inferior, you've hit rock bottom. All of this stems from a lack of validation. There's a saying that goes, \"Everyone has their own unique talents and abilities.\" But your light has been overshadowed by thick smog, so much so that you can't even see it yourself. What you need to do from now on is to dispel all the layers of smog and find your true self. So, start loving yourself from now on. If no one else loves you, then love yourself wholeheartedly. Pay attention to your feelings and simply acknowledge them, without passing any judgment. If you're in a lot of pain and can't escape it, I recommend seeking professional help.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, give you a hug. I believe many people may feel the same as you. When our own life reaches a low point, we may feel that we are incapable of anything and think that we are worthless. But that's not the case at all. Each of us has our own strengths; it's just a matter of whether you have the patience to discover them. In daily life, as long as you are good at discovering, you will definitely find your own shining points. In fact, as long as you make efforts, many things can be achieved. I believe you will always be rewarded. I suggest that in daily life, no matter what you do, set goals and make plans for yourself. And strive towards that direction, the days will definitely get better and better. We must not encounter even the slightest difficulty or setback and shy away and escape. At the same time, you should also have confidence. When doing anything, don't get discouraged before you even start. Believe that you can do it well. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 5683
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel that my mind is so fragile, sometimes even a casual remark from others can make me cry.",
        "description": "I feel that my soul is very fragile. Sometimes, when someone says something to me, tears will flow uncontrollably. Or when something bad happens and someone comes to comfort me, even if tears weren't flowing before, they will start again for some reason when they ask. I wonder if this is good or not. T^T But I can't control it. I'm already an adult, and I really don't want to cry. What should I do? T_T",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that the OP's description may reflect someone who is emotionally sensitive but not particularly adept at expressing themselves. I sense that crying is their characteristic trait. From childhood to adulthood, others always tell you what to do and how to do it... Gradually, you become overly reliant on others and lack independent thinking. People tend to enjoy instilling their own ideas in others in order to gain recognition from others, such as the influence caused by marketing accounts, which unconsciously affects the public's perspectives. Those who lack critical thinking are easily led by the nose in such an environment. Regardless of age, as long as you believe that what you are doing is not wrong, you can express yourself in a way that suits your own habits. If you feel that shedding tears is not suitable for this issue, then you can train yourself in emotional management, so that crying becomes more appropriate in appropriate situations.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 22316
       },
       {
        "question": "It is difficult for people with low self-esteem to engage in romantic relationships. What should they do if they have concerns but don't want to lose their partner?",
        "description": "From a young age, I always felt ordinary and didn't dare to imagine what I would be like when I grew up, fell in love, and got married. This year, I went on a blind date and met a boy who has a prosthetic leg on his left foot. We got along quite well, and after three months, we decided to enter into a relationship. Because we are both not young anymore, our parents want us to get engaged in lunar June. He is also inclined towards this idea, but I refused. I don't know what he likes about me that makes him so certain I am the one he can spend the rest of his life with. I don't have that much confidence. He spoke to me today and suggested getting married in August. Additionally, he told me that he couldn't wait for me for two or three years before getting married. I do have some feelings for him, but after hanging up the phone, I felt a great deal of pressure. I never considered meeting his friends and family or having children. I still have some concerns, but I also don't want to lose him. This late night, I can't sleep and keep thinking about what to do. I hope everyone can help me. How can I approach a relationship with a positive mindset? How can I build a healthy intimate relationship? I probably won't be able to sleep tonight. It's just my lack of progress. I hate myself for being like this.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, beliefs about marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I want to give you a little hug, hoping to bring you some warmth. Everyone is like a bright pearl, just not realizing it yet. From your description, it is clear that you have low self-esteem, mainly manifested in the following points: 1) feeling that you don't have any outstanding qualities that people would like, 2) not daring to pursue the things you like, and 3) disliking yourself. I want to tell you that feeling insecure is a normal thing. Many people, including myself, experience some degree of insecurity, just with varying intensity. However, this doesn't mean that we are not worthy of being liked or that we don't have qualities that people appreciate. I used to be extremely insecure, just like you. I thought I was ordinary and didn't know what people would like about me, and I couldn't even imagine if someone would dislike me once they discovered the real me. However, when I got to high school, I realized how naive that thinking was. The people we envy may not necessarily envy us in the same way. I can say that high school was the period in which I received the most compliments. People praised my hair, liked my eyes, envied my skin, and said many kind things... of course, these don't necessarily mean that I am outstanding or anything, but it made me realize that even though we may be ordinary, we also have our own little sparkle. It may not shine as bright as the sun or illuminate like the moon, but it can be like a candle flame\u2014small, yet enough to make the people around you feel your warmth. Here, I want to give you the following advice: affirm yourself and say to yourself every day, \"I am great.\" The fact that your boyfriend wants to propose to you also indicates that you have qualities that make him want to spend his life with you. We, too, are pretty good. We just tend to magnify other people's strengths and minimize our own, which leads to a one-sided sense of failure in our hearts. If we want to change this situation, the first step is to affirm ourselves. Love yourself first. For a lifetime, most of us may just be ordinary people in the world, but if the world doesn't see us, we need to see ourselves first so that more people can see us. Be brave and pursue the things you like. Regrets in the world are not mistakes, they are missed opportunities. Our lives are just a short few decades, a drop in the vast universe. Even the bird Jingwei wanted to fill the sea and the mantis wanted to shake a tree. Why don't we try our best in places within our reach? Even if we fail,at least we made a great effort and have no regrets, right? If we don't even have the courage to try, how can the beauty of the world come to us? Make efforts to improve yourself, lose weight if you're overweight, memorize if your English is poor, practice if your handwriting is bad. Whatever unhappiness we have is mostly caused by our own lack of excellence. What we need to do is turn our own unhappiness into our pride. Keep going every day, and one day, you will be proud of yourself. We may be ordinary, but we also shine brightly! Let's cheer each other on.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Seeing your words is like seeing you in person. First, let me give you a warm hug and I hope my answer can help you. First and foremost, let's get to the point. What are your true feelings inside? You don't want to lose him, do you? Then accept him, don't miss out on him. It's really difficult to find another suitable person once you miss this chance, so please cherish it. Moreover, if you keep thinking like this, even if you meet the next suitable person, you will still have many concerns. What will you do if you miss out again? Should you keep missing out forever? Instead, it's better to cherish this opportunity tightly and overcome the problems in yourself. Next, let's address your concerns. You don't know the reasons why he truly likes you, there could be many. You need to reflect on yourself, maybe you are a suitable partner for him. You are gentle and down-to-earth, you won't cause any trouble, you will make a good wife and take care of household chores, etc. He is also not young anymore, so his thinking should be mature. If he wants to marry you, it's definitely not a momentary impulse. You need to trust him. You haven't thought about how to get in touch with his friends and family, but this shouldn't be a reason for rejecting him. You can agree to him first, but ask for more time so that he can introduce you to his friends and family, see if you get along well and if any major issues arise. Even if there are real issues, you can still reject him then, it won't be too late. You haven't thought about how to have and raise children, but that's something both of you should discuss. See if you can negotiate and find a compromise, see how he feels about it. If there are problems at this stage, you can also reject him, there's really no need to refuse without any communication or effort. I hope you can cherish the person in front of you, absorb my advice, overcome yourself, and I wish you happiness.\"",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, don't be afraid to imagine what it would be like to grow up, fall in love, and get married. Some people say: A person lives their whole life just to be an ordinary person, living an ordinary life. Ordinary doesn't mean average. If you have goals in life, if you can actively strive for what you want and be self-sufficient, then you're already great! There's no need to compare yourself with others, because they are not you and cannot understand your feelings. Everyone will grow up and want to fall in love; this is a normal development in life. OP is not afraid of imagining, but rather afraid that a certain stage of growth will be meaningless, without any progress, and no change compared to their former self. OP is afraid of being among the few who are not in a relationship or married at the appropriate age, and afraid of others' judgment. Dear, I suggest you make a life plan based on your abilities and strive for some level of personal development. Even if it's ordinary, make sure you live up to each day and each moment of your life. You can daydream and make plans for the future, like getting married and having children, even though it feels unfamiliar to you. That's why you feel pressure, but dear, this is also a path everyone goes through in life. Don't avoid it because of pressure. You can also seek help from family and friends, let those who have gone through similar experiences share their wisdom. Have more courage and sincerity, and less worries; everything will become simpler. Dear, in this complicated world, sincerity and courage are the most precious. \"Follow your heart\" and give yourself room to think about what you want. When you have figured it out, be brave and go for it. Keep it up! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for the invitation! It seems that you are feeling conflicted about the current situation: on one hand, you have never been sure about how entering an intimate relationship would be, but on the other hand, you are afraid of missing the opportunity to enter into an intimate relationship. It appears that you are facing a series of pressures without being fully prepared psychologically. You are uncertain whether you should follow your own pace or follow the pace of others. You want to balance both but find it difficult, and perhaps you are also afraid of the potential losses that may come with making a choice. You mentioned that you have always felt \"ordinary\" since childhood and haven't dared to envision what it would be like to grow up, fall in love, and get married. I wonder what kind of experiences have led you to link being \"ordinary\" with the difficulty of growing up, falling in love, and getting married. What is your imagination of growing up, falling in love, and getting married like? I believe that when people are about to enter a new stage in life, they will have certain expectations and concerns. When you are too scared, perhaps some experiences or imaginations related to this are hindering you. Despite your fear of thinking about it, you still went on blind dates. I'm curious about the circumstances under which you went on these blind dates. Did your own expectations increase, or did your concerns decrease, or were you pressured by reality and external forces? How do you feel about blind dates? You mentioned that the boy has a prosthetic limb on his left foot. I wonder what your thoughts and feelings are about this? Does it somewhat affect your feelings towards the boy and your decision to spend your life with him, including having children? You are curious about what the other person likes about you, and I'm wondering if this pace is too fast for you. Are you worried that other factors are pushing the other person and their family to want you to start a family quickly? I think that before being curious about the other person, it is also important to understand your own thoughts and feelings about the other person. When you understand yourself better, perhaps you will be ready to transition from a relationship with yourself to a relationship with another person. For example, when you are clearer about your concerns and the reasons why you are afraid of losing the other person, you can consider whether to share your desires and worries with the other person, and see if it is possible to involve the other person in facing and resolving the issue together. After all, if getting married and starting a family makes you feel like it is a \"demand from the other person,\" this feeling of being \"compelled\" may make you doubt the relationship even more, rather than feeling confident. It might also make you feel very risky and lonely. Even if communication doesn't necessarily lead to a unanimous outcome, a sufficient and effective process of communication can make you more clear and reduce your confusion and unease. This is also part of considering your relationship with each other and future intimate relationships. Of course, the above is just a superficial response based on your current question, and a more in-depth exploration requires a relatively longer process. Consider seeking professional psychological counseling if needed. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ I completely understand your feelings, sending you a hug~ What makes a good intimate relationship? 1. Trust, even when there are issues, being willing to believe that harm is not intentional. 2. Reflectiveness, being willing to think about what exactly is going on between the two people and what personal shortcomings need to be adjusted. 3. Being willing to restrain impulsive reactions in order to make more long-term changes for better coexistence. 4. Being willing to believe that both parties value each other and the relationship itself, and after calming down, discussing together how to solve problems instead of blaming each other or attacking each other. 5. Although good relationships may also involve pain, you can feel yourself growing and maturing within the relationship. A good relationship allows you to feel at ease to be yourself and develop yourself. Learning how to build a good relationship is something that can be enhanced through learning. I suggest reading relevant books, listening to courses, or having deeper conversations with a mental health counselor. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Seeing the description you provided, I can sense your hesitation and reluctance. Let's try summarizing the key points of the events to see if it sparks any new ideas for you. 1. Insecurities and reluctance: Based on your title, it's clear that you feel hindered in your romantic endeavors due to your own insecurities. Your self-doubt leads to concerns, yet you also have a desire to not let go. On one hand, you perceive yourself as ordinary and insecure, failing to see any outstanding qualities that would make someone want to enter into a marriage with you so quickly. Rather than solely blaming yourself for feeling inadequate, it may be more appropriate to say that the other person has not expressed or done enough to make you willingly walk alongside them. On the other hand, this brief encounter may not have given you enough security to rapidly enter into marriage. Perhaps you are not prepared for a long-term commitment yet, as marriage and dating are fundamentally different. While you have a degree of satisfaction in the other person, it might not be enough to push you towards marriage. 2. Lack of preparation: You are not ready to meet the other person's family and friends, have children, and have unresolved concerns. You need more time to prepare, especially emotionally. Many times, if you enter a situation without proper psychological preparation, you may find yourself unprepared for the battlefield. As a mother myself, I remember on the morning of my marriage registration, before entering the venue, I considered sitting on the curb to soberly think about it. However, I didn't wait to make a decision and simply went ahead with the registration. If you want to have a healthy relationship and willingly enter into a marriage, consider the following suggestions: [Acceptance] Accept yourself for who you are and trust the other person's choice. Don't compare your shortcomings with those of others. You are you, and every individual in this world is unique. To a certain extent, everyone has their own outstanding qualities. [Communication] If you are not yet ready for marriage and fear missing out on the other person, you can express your concerns to them in the hope of receiving understanding and patience. Only through communication can problems be better resolved. Good luck, OP!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, I think you're currently mostly troubled by the pressure from your partner, because you're not at the stage of getting married and having children yet. The pressure from your surroundings and your partner makes you doubt yourself, so you're feeling troubled, right? I don't think your issue is directly related to insecurities. According to Freud, insecurities exist in people since birth and are inherent instincts. When children are born, their skills in various aspects are not fully developed, so they inevitably feel insecure. In your situation, you also don't have much dating experience and social experience, so it's normal to feel some level of insecurity. After all, it's hard to be confident about controlling the future. Therefore, insecurity is something that most ordinary people experience and it doesn't affect the development of our relationships. It might even trigger our partners' desire to protect us. In your case, it seems that the core issue is that it's not yet time to discuss marriage and settling down. Based on your description, it seems like the man is more anxious and wants to rush into marriage and having children without truly understanding each other. On the other hand, as a woman, you consider the future more, while the man is more focused on obtaining and possessing. At this critical moment, it seems like your family hasn't provided enough understanding and support, so now you're starting to doubt yourself - wondering if your insecurities have affected the pace of your relationship. Actually, I don't think so. It's just that the timing may not be right for discussing marriage and settling down. We still want to get to know each other more deeply and establish a stronger sense of security before taking the next step, right? Take care, and feel free to private message me if you have any questions or need further clarification.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I completely understand your anxiety about love, marriage, and personal growth, as we are in the same age group and going through a transition period. Feeling ordinary is something we all experience, but who isn't? We are all both ordinary and exceptional because there are undoubtedly many remarkable individuals in the world, but we are also unique and have our own value. So what we need is an accurate assessment and understanding of ourselves, and then strive to enrich ourselves to become better and better, and that is sufficient. I believe you are exceptional, and it has nothing to do with others. Being born human means you already possess a natural sparkle. So there's no need to dwell on your mediocrity. As for the issue of engagement and marriage, it is normal to feel anxious if we are not ready and lack sufficient understanding. You mentioned not knowing what the other person likes about you, but since you are already discussing engagement, you can definitely have that conversation. You can talk about what he likes about you, what aspects, and what you like about him. After all, love is something that can be discussed. If you still like him based on your description, then there must be qualities about him that you appreciate. Speak up and express your admiration because everyone likes to be praised. I sense that you are under a lot of pressure, such as meeting his friends and family, and even the idea of having children. I also have some concerns. We always feel nervous and uneasy about things we have not experienced before, but there is always a first time for everything, and practice makes perfect. You can share your anxieties with your boyfriend and see how he can help you. This will not only promote your intimacy and communication but also prepare you for the many more communication challenges that come with marriage. We are all first-time children, first-time spouses, and first-time parents, but we will all go through these experiences, so learn more and practice. A healthy intimate relationship requires cultivation, which also necessitates various abilities such as respect, understanding, tolerance, the ability to love, and the ability to give and receive, among others. We need to learn these skills. My suggestion for you is to read more books about intimate relationships, such as \"The 5 Love Languages,\" \"Intimate Relationships,\" \"Nonviolent Communication,\" \"The Power of Empathy,\" and so on. Additionally, communicate more about your anxieties with your boyfriend, family, and friends. I wish you a fulfilling marriage. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16953
       },
       {
        "question": "Seventh grade, already a big kid, but my mom doesn't give me any privacy, what should I do?",
        "description": "I have a younger cousin who recently confided in me. He is in his second year of junior high, and in the eyes of others, he is already a big kid. He wants his own privacy because he has to be extremely careful every time he chats with classmates, which has resulted in him having very few friends. His mother doesn't give him any privacy at all, which makes him feel very upset and speechless. Whether it's his photo albums, chat records, or the apps he downloads, anything that his mother disapproves of gets deleted. She also doesn't allow him to bring his phone to school, which makes my cousin feel very inferior. All his classmates have phones, so he feels quite awkward being the only one without. Sometimes, the teacher will notify the class about certain information through a group chat, but he doesn't see the message because he doesn't have a phone, and he ends up getting scolded the next day at school. He feels like his mother doesn't understand him or consider his feelings. He wonders what he should do to have his own privacy.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The first year of middle school is already a rebellious phase. The so-called rebellious phase is actually named by adults, but for children, it is a period of self-growth. At this age, children's bodies mature rapidly and they accumulate a lot of knowledge and skills, experiencing significant personal growth and developing their own ideas. As a result, they may have different perceptions from their parents, leading to inevitable conflicts. In my opinion, privacy is a right that belongs to every individual, and no one, including parents, should violate it. From this perspective, your cousin's request is very reasonable. So, how can his goal be achieved? First, it is necessary to assess the behavior of the parents. Without the right to investigate, there is no right to speak. If one is unaware of the other party's situation, they cannot strive for victory, making accurate assessment crucial. Why do parents monitor us? It's simple - parents have guardianship rights. In any country, because children do not have independent civil responsibilities, they do not have to bear the consequences individually. Many consequences need to be borne by parents, so the government recognizes the right of guardianship. Children also have the right to privacy, which the government acknowledges. Therefore, within a family, whether the child's right to privacy outweighs the parents' right to guardianship depends on the interaction between parents and children. If the parents are dominant and disregard your cousin's legitimate rights, nonviolent communication is one approach. However, if the parents are communicative and their aim is not to violate your cousin's privacy but to control phone usage, then a different approach must be taken. From your narration, your cousin's desire or primary goal is to have exclusive use of the phone. The first year of middle school is a critical period for learning. Is your cousin a person who can exercise self-control? Can he be disciplined? Can he take responsibility for his choices and results? I think your cousin has not done enough in this regard because having fewer friends and being cautious in chatting are not necessarily related. After all, making friends is easier through real-life interactions than through online conversations. Second, do not be afraid of conflict. Conflict is beneficial because it is a form of non-verbal communication. When children have conflicts with their parents, parents become aware of the boundaries of their children's individuality. Many well-behaved children, out of fear of conflict, often do not establish clear boundaries for themselves. As a result, they are easily invaded, and their rights can only be obtained through competition. Third, make commitments. If parents' intentions are good but do not align with the children's perspective, making commitments and following through on them is the only way to gain privacy rights. Parents love their children and want to protect them from harm. How can parents realize that their children have grown up? The best approach is to make commitments and keep them. At this point, trust is established between parents and children, and parents can let go. Fourth, respect and understanding. Respect parents' guardianship rights and understand their good intentions, but also protect one's own rights. Be objective and gentle, maintaining a strong stance.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the description, it is evident that the original poster strongly disagrees with and doesn't understand the behavior of their cousin's mother. I cannot fathom why the cousin's mother would act in such a manner. My speculation is that she may still lack trust in your cousin and views him as a child, fearing that he will be exposed to the harsher side of the world. Indeed, a student in the second year of junior high school is nearly an adult and should be afforded some independence. Perhaps his mother hasn't noticed or refuses to accept that he has grown up, leading her to treat him as a child. Although it may be difficult to accept, I believe you should advise your cousin to make an effort to comprehend his mother's actions. Our mothers are the people who love us the most in the world, and their love is selfless. Even if their expressions of love may not align with our expectations, we should strive to understand their love for us. I suggest you propose that your cousin have an open conversation with his mother, explaining that he has matured and also requires some privacy. Clearly articulate the challenges posed by the current situation in regard to his studies and daily life, as well as the negative impact on his personal growth. Although his mother may still fail to understand him, attempt to engage her in a rational discussion to gradually find a resolution, allowing her to slowly come to terms with his growth. I hope this advice proves helpful to you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18336
       },
       {
        "question": "How to balance the differences in lifestyle between generations with parents?",
        "description": "The lifestyle of the older generation may differ significantly from that of the younger generation, whether it's regarding daily routines or dietary habits.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think what you're referring to isn't just about the differences in \"daily routines, eating habits, etc.\" between generations and their parents' lives. It's just that these issues come up every day, so they're easier to discuss. However, on the other hand, although these are just small things in life, they become irritating when mentioned repeatedly, don't they? So, when they talk about these \"petty things,\" they might actually mean something else. Perhaps if you understand this, you might find the answer to your own question. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18904
       },
       {
        "question": "21-year-old male, has been heartbroken for over six months, constantly connects unrelated things together.",
        "description": "Breakup for over half a year, since the breakup, I have developed OCD and always connect unrelated things and things I don't know together. Although I know there is no connection, I still find myself overthinking, panicking, and constantly overgeneralizing the forced connections. How can I deal with this issue as it is affecting my daily life?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, sexual desire, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand that you have not been able to recover from the state of heartbreak and your mind is filled with many thoughts, even impacting your daily life with helplessness. Regarding your question, here is my response. Problem analysis: *Obsessive thinking, affecting life: a basic phenomenon is the neural pathways in our brain, similar to muscles in our body. When you exercise continuously, your muscles become stronger. Similarly, when you constantly ruminate, it strengthens the activity of neural pathways. When you pay too much attention to certain matters and allow your brain to freely think and connect unrelated things, you become more dependent on this feeling, gradually reinforcing this behavior. In your case, this condition only appeared after the breakup, so the root cause is the trauma caused by the breakup. It is crucial to learn how to view the breakup with a calm mind and accept this reality. A breakup signifies the end of the energy and emotional investment you put into the other person, resulting in a loss of a part of yourself. Constantly generalizing thoughts is also a way of not accepting this loss, attempting to make connections with the ended relationship through any traces, avoiding the sense of loss and pain brought by the relationship's end. Some suggestions: 1. If it has been half a year since the breakup and you are still immersed in pain and uncontrollable thoughts, you need to ask yourself if your brain and attention are too idle. When you have no goals or directions, naturally your brain will still think about the loss. Only when your brain's attention and energy are occupied and replaced by meaningful things, your aimless thoughts won't have the chance to flood your mind. 2. You can choose to practice mindfulness meditation to improve your concentration and learn how to control your thoughts. When you are unable to control yourself, using scientific methods can greatly help you.",
          "has_label": true,
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           },
           {
            "start": 68,
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            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 78,
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           },
           {
            "start": 209,
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           },
           {
            "start": 277,
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           },
           {
            "start": 382,
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           },
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Hmm, many young people nowadays have symptoms of OCD, including obsessions and compulsions. Based on your current situation, it seems like you have more obsessions than compulsions. Typically, this can result in emotional isolation and difficulty forming intimate relationships. From what I gather, the breakup might have triggered these symptoms, but it's not the only cause of your OCD, right? Analyzing the issue: 1. It's been over half a year since the breakup, and since then, you have developed OCD. You constantly link unrelated things and concepts together, even though you know they're unrelated. However, you still ponder and panic, even going as far as generalizing and overthinking. How can this be managed? (Due to the limited information, I will ask you some related questions: Do you have a diagnosis from a hospital? Or do you simply think it's OCD? Did you develop OCD before or after the breakup? Are these unrelated things truly unrelated to making friends? It's normal for all of us to have areas where we lack knowledge, and it's okay. Even though you know they're unrelated, you still tend to make many associations and even experience panic, then generalize. Yes, this is the basic manifestation of OCD. However, the problem itself, as well as any symptoms, are not the scariest part. The key is, when you read my message, ask yourself sincerely if you truly want to solve this problem (you must seriously ask yourself and give yourself a clear answer). If the answer is \"yes,\" then there are many solutions. If you hesitate, then let's wait until you truly want to solve it, and then we can address it. Closing statement: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you can overcome this disturbance soon! If you have any confusion, feel free to message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Although it may be easy for bystanders to offer advice, it is not always as simple for someone in the midst of it all to break free. While sadness will eventually diminish over time, there are many rituals that can help you let go more quickly. For example, 1) go to a scenic spot to feel the breeze, 2) stay up all night watching the rain outside the window, 3) take a long walk (try not to go in circles - you can cover a good distance in an hour, and in half a day, you can walk quite far). The common point is to clear your mind and take the time to reflect on the past in a comfortable environment. Imagine packing these memories into a box of recollections and envision starting a new life with these memories. After going through such a ritual, even if sadness comes knocking again, don't let it consume you as before. Instead, treat it like taking out a cherished item to savor and then put it back. It's like reflecting on both bitter and sweet memories, just like having a cup of coffee. There's nothing wrong with it.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9178
       },
       {
        "question": "How to live with a roommate whose values do not align with yours and with someone you dislike?",
        "description": "I used to be a happy and positive girl, starting from my college dormitory. There were three of us in the dormitory: me, A, and another girl B. Because A and I had different values, we gradually drifted apart. As for B, she was introverted, but I considered her a friend. However, she gradually started to prefer A over me. Later on, I often found myself being criticized by AB, which made me feel like they didn't like me. I always wished for others to like me, so I often paid attention to people's expressions, which made me tired and sensitive. In my junior year, my relationship with A completely broke down because he badmouthed me to others. I never talked to my other dormmates about this incident, and after that, I completely gave up on trying to salvage the relationship. Now, we have another girl, C, in our dormitory. When she first came, we got along well, but as a result of the pandemic, we are now in our senior year, and C has instead become close to AB. Because I dislike A, I often return to the dormitory without saying a word. I used to be talkative, but now I feel oppressed every day. During my graduate school entrance exam preparation, I feel uneasy whenever I think of A in my dormitory. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts, roommates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello, I'm sending you a hug ~ From your description \"I used to be a positive and upbeat girl\", I feel that you have a positive self-description, so I think that now the majority of your problems come from external factors. There shouldn't be any major psychological issues, but rather more problems with differing beliefs. From your description, you mentioned that you and A have differing values, so you chose not to associate with her. However, personally, I think that when you have differences, you should consider that you will be living together for four years, and many things require mutual support and assistance. You may also try to understand her, find other strengths and common ground, and try not to make the relationship too tense. But now that things have come this far, it seems that there is no room for regret. However, you can still make some effort for your relationship. Now, you may feel uncomfortable because you have doubts about yourself. However, I feel that both of your roommates who actively sought to befriend A ended up getting along well with her, so there must be a reason for it. But we may not be able to guess this reason, so you can only actively ask them. Communication is the best way to solve problems. If you feel that it is affecting your academic life now, you must find a way to know the reason. No one would distance themselves from someone for no reason.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5030
       },
       {
        "question": "Often not trusting others, how to make oneself less easily hurt?",
        "description": "I have found that I often distrust others, especially men. It seems that I rarely encounter situations where women are treated well. When my male colleagues show disgust towards me, I feel hurt. Although my rational mind tells me that they are insignificant, my true feelings inside cannot deny the hurt. I have also noticed that if a man shows acceptance or trust towards me, I will constantly try to test what he really wants and then try to please him. This reminds me of my relationship with my father. In my memories, I often shout at him, asking why he doesn't believe in me. Yes, every time I need him, my father always withdraws. It doesn't matter if it's my younger sister complaining that I didn't play with her when we were young, or when I applied to high school and my dad unilaterally changed my choice of major, or even when he told me not to go to distant Northeast China for college before I went, all of these actions were not with my consent and did not respect my wishes. So I became very rebellious after entering college, unwilling to go home, not actively asking for living expenses, not sharing my joys or sorrows. Later during the holidays, I bought him a hat with the money I earned from my part-time job, and he seemed very happy, showing it off everywhere. But deep down, I felt very uncomfortable. It seemed that what he wanted was just others being kind to him.",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, personality traits, self-improvement",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, OP, hello. Hug the little you from childhood. From your description, it is obvious that you know the problem lies in your relationship with your father. As a girl, the father is the first opposite-sex relationship we have in our lives, so the relationship with the father often affects our relationships with other opposite sexes in adulthood. However, when we were children, we didn't have the ability to actively create a desired good relationship, and it all depended on our parents. But parents cannot be chosen, so we can only passively bear everything our parents bring us, including relationships. But you are different now. Do you know what's different? You have grown up, you have become an adult, and you can decide everything that belongs to you. That's the biggest difference. So you can decide the pattern and appearance of the relationship you want, such as what kind of pattern you hope to have with the opposite sex. Do you trust others? Not afraid of being hurt for no reason? Or just like being with the same sex, more casual. With direction and goals, you can muster the courage to try. It just takes time, and it takes slowly overcoming your unconscious fear or even fear emotions. Similarly, it is necessary to deal with the relationship with your father at the right time. This involves some rules and phenomena at a deeper psychological level. We know it is easy, but it is difficult to do because the past experiences have left emotional energy in our deeper hearts. We need to face and deal with it in order to truly no longer be affected. I'll teach you some attempts to make changes at different levels. First, when dealing with the opposite sex, when you have emotions of distrust or even fear that you used to have, try to detach yourself from these emotions and the other person. Tell yourself that it has nothing to do with the other person, it's just the influence of your relationship with your father that makes you feel this way. So I can interact with the other person normally. Second, when you see your father or talk on the phone, try to have deep communication with him and express your true emotions and feelings. If possible, you can gradually break the deadlock in your relationship with your father and move towards the direction you want. Third, if the second method is too difficult or even difficult to achieve, it is recommended to seek professional psychological counseling to directly assist you in dealing with your relationship with your father. Keep it up, OP!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, from start to finish, you didn't notice one thing, that is, the hat your so-called father bought to show off to you. For your father, a plain hat represents your growth, your understanding, and your love for your parents. When you explained why you didn't believe me, did you ever carefully observe your father's trembling lips or his silent expression? I guess at that moment, your mind was filled with anger, but you didn't know what your father wanted to say at that moment. He believed in you, he wanted to teach you and protect you from being bullied outside when you grow up, in his own way. Maybe some of his methods were wrong, but his intentions came from love for you. Who among us is perfect, let alone our own father? Have you ever thought about the school fees that they paid for your education? They saved money and even refused to buy themselves new clothes, all for the sake of you and your sister's education. We never saw or experienced their hardships, but we should empathize instead of complaining blindly. Regarding your father changing your college application without consulting you, it was indeed wrong. But have you ever tried to see things from his perspective? Maybe at that time, your father believed that the chosen major was good and he didn't want you to regret it in the future, so he changed it for you. It was definitely a mistake, but did your father pay for your miscellaneous fees when you went to school? So as children, we should talk to our parents more often. Maybe then, incidents like changing college applications against our will wouldn't happen. Cherish the present and love your parents well, because when you start working, you will have less and less time to be with them. By that time, your parents will be old, and the time spent with you will also be limited. The tree desires tranquility but the wind continues to blow, and the child desires to support their parents but they are no longer there. Don't let such regrets happen to us, because everyone will have regrets!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You have analyzed it very thoroughly, but you lack a spiritual connection with your father, failing to absorb the masculine energy from him, resulting in unfamiliarity, resistance, and inability to accept men. It will be difficult for you to have smooth romantic relationships in the future, and even if you get married, it will be hard to be intimate with your spouse. You need to delve deeply into what is hindering your spiritual connection with your father. After healing your father-daughter relationship, you will be able to communicate with men normally. Please follow this account.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12415
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it my fault to ask my parents for money when they can't afford to send me to tutoring classes?",
        "description": "Tutoring fees range from 15,570 to 22,200. However, my parents' combined monthly income is less than 5,000. But if I attend tutoring classes, it's the only way I can possibly improve my scores and avoid having a second-tier educational background for the rest of my life. I am a science student and the teacher's instruction is really inadequate. I can't learn anything at school. I don't know how to communicate this with my parents. Thank you for your response.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, the process of growing up, communication between children and parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Wanting to improve oneself is a sign of progress and a positive thing, but it is not necessary to pressure your parents. If you explain the advantages and disadvantages clearly and your parents still choose not to borrow money to support you, don't feel discouraged. Because after completing undergraduate studies, there are still graduate studies, and after graduate studies, there are still doctoral studies. Life is like a marathon, and a temporary setback doesn't mean a complete loss. Let's try to understand each other. If you are truly determined to make progress, take action to push yourself. Put in your best effort, regardless of whether you receive external help. If your parents see your hard work, they may be willing to do their best for you as well. However, if you are not putting in the effort yourself and only rely on your parents' hard work, even attending tutoring classes may not guarantee good results. And even if you succeed this time, it doesn't mean your life will be successful, as accomplishments gained through others are not permanent. One's character often has a greater impact on their life than achievements.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello, we need to first accept what already exists in the environment. When considering a new environment, we need to think about whether we can afford the corresponding costs. From your description, I can sense that you are experiencing conflicts and confusion due to the issue of paying for tutoring classes with your parents. You feel upset and unsure. From your perspective, you want to improve your education, but the school environment and the quality of education cannot meet your needs. Therefore, you want to attend tutoring classes and believe this is the only way, so you hope your parents can support you and borrow money. From your parents' perspective, the financial resources of the family are limited and they cannot afford the corresponding fees. They may also worry about whether this money is \"worth it\" and that the family's living standard may decline significantly. You may think that borrowing money for your education is \"necessary\" or reasonable, while your parents believe that your academic performance can improve through your own efforts and it is not \"necessary\" to spend so much money, which could put financial strain on the family. You can communicate and talk to your parents seriously, tell them your motivations and needs, and assure them that your grades will improve after attending the tutoring classes (however, the effectiveness of tutoring classes for you is still uncertain and you still need to work hard yourself). Hopefully, they can understand and support you. At the same time, you can discuss with your parents whether there are other tutoring classes with good teaching quality and lower costs. Sometimes, only when you become independent can you truly appreciate the value of essentials in life. I believe you also understand the hardships and efforts your parents have made for you, so you must work hard. If the school's education is not sufficient, there are always classmates with good grades, so you can learn from them. But ultimately, you still need to work extremely hard, think positively, not be afraid of hardships, and focus on your studies if you really want to improve your education. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Yes, there is not a direct correlation between attending tutoring classes and academic performance. Attending a prestigious university or being in a top-ranked institution is not a prerequisite for experiencing happiness. Additionally, the cost of attending tutoring classes is quite high. Our oldest child decided not to take the college entrance exam and is satisfied with their choice. Our second child was accepted into a top-ranked institution without any tutoring classes. Both of them performed well without attending any tutoring. Everyone has their own unique path, and as adults, we cannot force our parents' expectations onto us. One should focus on self-improvement. Best wishes to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15297
       },
       {
        "question": "29-year-old male, recently has developed an interest in using social networking apps to seek sexual encounters. Is this psychologically normal?",
        "description": "29-year-old man, recently found some free time and developed a liking for engaging in sexual activities on social media platforms?! Previously (rarely masturbated during high school, but watched adult films, also did it during the summers of 2016 and 2018, now for the past six months), he would use his hand when feeling idle and would experience sexual urges upon seeing attractive women in his community. However, he knows that it is not appropriate to act on those urges, so he turns to social media platforms to engage in sexual activities, share non-explicit private photos, or eventually engage in video calls with women he has known for a while. He is aware that relying on his hand frequently is not healthy, but he can't resist the desire. Does he have a psychological problem? Do other men or women also use their hands frequently for this purpose? Are there many men or women like him?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, sexual desire, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Kneading is allowed as long as it does not harm the other person. However, try not to engage in kneading with strangers during video chats. On one hand, there is a concern that you may develop an addiction to it, and on the other hand, it poses a risk to your privacy and security. Because you never know who is on the other side of the screen, be cautious of being threatened, blackmailed, or asked for money through screen recording or screenshots. As for using your hands, both boys and girls will use their hands to address this issue, which is considered normal behavior. However, pay attention to the frequency and limit it to 1-2 times a week. Excessive frequency can harm the brain, lead to addiction, and the belief that it is harmless to the body online is self-deception. If you are already addicted, it is recommended that you redirect your attention to other activities. Engaging in exercise or physical labor can help expend energy. I hope the above answers are helpful to you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9985
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I feel that the person I am dating does not love me enough?",
        "description": "The person I am dating has a previous girlfriend who he was in a relationship with for three years. He still has her name tattooed on his body and has talked about covering it up, but he hasn't done it yet. We've been together for eight months and I feel like he doesn't love me as much as he loved her. Sometimes when we're together, he will hum songs, and there are two instances where the lyrics he hummed made a deep impression on me. One time in July, he hummed \"Just let go, stop thinking about her\" twice, once in front of me and once when he thought I couldn't hear him. And just the other day, he hummed \"Love even more what you can't obtain.\" Whenever he sings these lyrics in front of me, he always adds a following line like \"No, that's not it\" or \"Why am I singing this,\" maybe because he's afraid I would overthink it. Actually, seeing his tattoo always makes me sad, but I don't want to force him to cover it up. Maybe his ex truly left a permanent pain in his heart.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! I can sense your emotions. Most of us have had a few relationships before finding the right one. Each relationship may be long or short, deep or superficial, but in the end, they become part of the past. Many people believe that what they can't have is better, but what you have now is more deserving of appreciation. Your boyfriend had a three-year relationship with his ex-girlfriend, and it takes time to forget someone. Regarding the tattoo, have you discussed your thoughts and feelings with him? If you let him know that it would hurt you to see his tattoo and that you don't want to see reminders of other women on him, even if it doesn't need to be covered with your name, you hope he can remove it as soon as possible. If he cares about you, he will make time to handle it promptly. As for the songs he likes to sing, maybe they have lyrics that remind him of the past, and he has grown accustomed to them. I don't think you should worry too much about this sensitivity as it will only compound your sadness. If you have expressed your thoughts to him and he still refuses to remove the tattoo, I think you should reconsider your relationship. I hope you find the happiness you desire.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How did you and your boyfriend meet and decide to fall in love initially? Where does the feeling of \"not feeling loved enough\" come from? Is it because he has a tattoo of his ex-girlfriend's name and still keeps it? Is it because he sings \"let go, don't think about her\" and \"love even more when you can't get it\"? What is your standard of \"enough\"? Are you using his love for his ex-girlfriend as a reference? If you use his love for his ex-girlfriend as a reference, I feel like you're already at a disadvantage in terms of momentum. Love is exclusive, but the condition is to not dwell on the past that has already happened. Maybe you're not really sure if your boyfriend is the right person for you? Whether he's worth your emotional investment? Perhaps you are not so certain about your own feelings either. That's why you need to bring up the ex-girlfriend to talk about the relationship between you and your boyfriend. On a rational level, you want your boyfriend to forget about his ex-girlfriend, but subconsciously, it seems like you want him to not forget about her so quickly. Just imagine, if one day you and your boyfriend broke up, would you want him to constantly think about you like he does with his ex-girlfriend now, or would you want him to forget about you as soon as possible? The fact that your boyfriend could walk away from his ex-girlfriend and come to you means that you possess qualities that his ex-girlfriend doesn't have, qualities that attract your boyfriend. Believe in yourself and be content with being yourself. Never lose the confidence to be yourself, no matter when.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8987
       },
       {
        "question": "Cannot maintain focus to complete a task, how can one be more focused?",
        "description": "I always have trouble maintaining focus on one task and often get distracted or daydream.",
        "keywords": "Growth, character improvement, self-development, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, you often struggle to focus on one thing and find your attention easily getting diverted, which leads to distress. Here are some suggestions for you: 1. Clarify the purpose of the task. Before starting something, it is important to understand your motivation and the purpose behind why you are doing it. Only with a clear motivation can you find the drive to complete the task. 2. Cultivate indirect interest in the task. Interest is the best teacher, but we often lack interest in things we have to do. Therefore, we need to find ways to cultivate indirect interest in the task through various methods. 3. Organize activities properly. When working on a task, it is necessary to find a balance between work and rest, allocate time for work and studying, and plan for breaks. Learn to relax and allow your brain to rest so that you can concentrate better. 4. Avoid distractions from unrelated factors. If you decide to do something, create a quiet and organized environment, turn off your phone or disconnect from the internet, and avoid distractions from unrelated factors. Lastly, you can also train your attention through games and activities. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16170
       },
       {
        "question": "\"What should a counselor do when a client has sexual fantasies about the counselor during a therapy session?\"",
        "description": "There is a male client who, during his first counseling session, said that he is easily agitated and cannot calm down, often feeling the urge to become angry. During his second session, he revealed to me that he feels psychologically abnormal and imagines me as his sexual partner. He feels ashamed of these thoughts but cannot control them. Before his second session, he asked me out, but I politely declined. During our conversation, he shared his psychological experiences with me. In response, I told him that his subconscious thoughts are not his fault and he has not done anything wrong. I advised him to face these thoughts without judging them as right or wrong because they are not his own thoughts. He mentioned that he will gradually try to adjust, but he cannot guarantee his mental stability. I reiterated my previous point and subtly implied to him that he is still a strong and optimistic young man who would not harm himself or his family. I encouraged him to have faith in himself, and assured him that I believe in him as well. We have not spoken since then. How should I handle this situation, and what should I do if he brings up the topic again someday?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I have also encountered this problem before. It is the transference of the visitor towards you. Actually, it's perfectly fine to discuss this issue openly. Sexual fantasies can have various reasons. It may be a need for love and understanding, or perhaps a certain action or piece of clothing triggered their defense mechanism. The problem itself is not about sexual fantasies, nor is it about shame. When their inner needs are exposed, these feelings will disappear. It will be a significant transformation for the visitor. Of course, it cannot be ruled out that the counselor themselves are very charming and can handle the visitor with ease and humor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17313
       },
       {
        "question": "Being a full-time mom every day, but still not doing well, what does it take to be a qualified mother?",
        "description": "What does it mean to be a qualified mother? Even though I spend all day with my child, I still feel like I'm not being a good mother. Is it really so difficult to be a qualified mother?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, growing up process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the topic is hello, being a full-time mom is not easy, hard work, give you a full hug! What is the standard of a good mother? For children, the requirements of each child are different. \"Being a full-time mom every day, but still not being a good mother\" can be seen that the topic has put all her heart and soul into her child, but the final result is still unsatisfactory. The result of the hard work is that the child thinks that the mother is incompetent or the mother thinks that she is incompetent, or other family members think so? To be honest, being a full-time mom is not easy to be a qualified mother. 1. Moms need to learn, learn parenting concepts, and finally practice. 2. Keep up with the pace of the children. The education of children is the biggest problem. Learn the development rules of children and be a good life mentor for children, influencing life with life. 3. In addition to taking care of life and learning, we must also cultivate personality and quality. 4. The most important thing is that mothers should be themselves. Even full-time mothers cannot lose themselves. I wish you can successfully be a good mother!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 276
       },
       {
        "question": "Being talked about by others is distressing, and I wonder why there is such a discrepancy between what I think and what I actually do.",
        "description": "I have experienced betrayal from friends and feel that my family no longer cares about me. I am afraid to trust anyone easily and am often misunderstood. I don't want to explain myself and often feel like being alone. It hurts me when others gossip about me, and it is difficult for me to bear it emotionally.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling, psychological assessment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. It feels as if we are face to face right now. I am truly sorry for your current state. Actually, you can also perceive that you haven't completely lost faith in the external environment. You yearn to have good friends and for your family to care about you. However, due to experiencing betrayal from friends and feeling that your family doesn't care about you, you may have developed a sense of disappointment towards the outside world. But can simply adopting a negative approach truly protect yourself? I don't think so. Moreover, just because you have experienced betrayal from friends, does that mean all friends are like that? So, sometimes it may be helpful to step out of this framework, allowing yourself to express your emotions and engage in positive actions to explore whether this negative perception is really as you think it is. By focusing on positive actions that can be accomplished, one can address negative experiences. Our brains are inherently biased towards negativity. For survival, the brain amplifies any negative emotions and information, helping humans avoid harm as much as possible. However, the downside of this physiological design is that people can let their emotions be influenced by excessive attention to negative information, and as a result, lose courage to live their lives. Therefore, you should first understand and accept your current negative state. At the same time, you should also understand that it is not irreversible. For example, believing that your family no longer cares about you has caused you great negative experiences. But is it true that your family no longer cares about you? Where did we perceive that they no longer care about you? This is something to consider, and even communicate about. By exploring a certain aspect of your perception, you can truly obtain real answers from reality, rather than panicking and speculating. Being betrayed by friends does indeed make it easy for one to fall into distrust towards friendship. But not all friends will betray you. The person who betrayed you did so based on their own values and standards. \"If the person you are facing shows unwarranted discrimination or exclusion towards you, it only reflects their values and standards, and it actually has nothing to do with the person being discriminated against.\" Allow yourself to vent your emotions. Actively suppressing your emotions to cater to the preferences of others doesn't actually help you become a likable person. It makes you feel repressed and gradually lose your own personality traits. In order to have close and good relationships, first you need to become an independent person, someone who has their own boundaries and can control their own emotions. So when emotions arise, it is still important to bravely express them, and express your anger to those who have hurt you. This way, your energy will expand outward instead of inwardly attacking yourself. You are a little mushroom that hopes for a gentle world and also needs time to grow freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner! I have a habit of not easily speaking ill of others. Does that mean the other person is perfect? Of course not. We are all selfish creatures. The reason we don't speak ill of others is mostly because we hope that they won't speak ill of us behind our backs. But how is that possible? Everyone will be talked about, betrayed, or deceived by others... Matters of the heart are really complicated, and a few sentences or even thousands of words will not explain it clearly. You mentioned feeling like your family doesn't care about you, which might be due to your sensitivity. Most parents love their children very much. You said you enjoy being alone, which is normal. Personally, I think being alone allows you to contemplate many issues and improve your thinking ability. People who enjoy being alone have more character and are not easily influenced by others. When you feel upset, try going for a walk or doing something to keep yourself busy instead of keeping it all inside. Being idle and having an empty mind can easily lead to boredom and sadness. In short, be more confident, don't be afraid of getting hurt in relationships, and don't constantly overthink. Use your spare time to do things you enjoy, and things will get better. You can also talk to your parents more and open up to them. Many problems have solutions. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, have you ever experienced betrayal from a friend? The word \"betrayal\" is your own definition of a rupture in your relationship with your friend. When you put the word \"betrayal\" back into the context at that time, think again whether it was really betrayal or something else! If you feel that your family is no longer concerned about you, it may just be your own perception. So what is the reality? How do you define concern? Is it appropriate care or excessive attention? Is it about them nagging you or the need for more communication with yourself? You need to tell your family the kind of family interaction you like and be open to their objections, and then together come up with a mode that everyone can enjoy. Not daring to trust anyone easily, who does \"anyone\" specifically refer to? Relatives, friends, or colleagues? If it's just strangers, I wouldn't trust them easily either, because strangers have no connection to us! So what does this \"anyone\" specifically refer to? Being misunderstood and not wanting to explain, misunderstandings happen every day, and explaining can indeed be troublesome. Time will prove everything. However, some misunderstandings must be explained immediately and clearly, especially regarding personal character, because rumors can be really scary. Sometimes I really want to be alone. Solitude is the beginning of maturity, and in the end, it's a process of playing with oneself. When you comfort yourself and make yourself happy, you become happy. Being talked about by others and feeling uneasy in your heart, but you're too lazy to explain, why should you feel uneasy? Obviously, you care, and if you care, you should speak up for yourself... As I always say, a person has a thousand faces when dealing with others, how I treat you depends on how you treat me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2800
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel that the teacher who does the psychological counseling is not quite suitable for me.",
        "description": "I found a mental health teacher to accompany me through the most difficult journey. However, at the beginning, there were quite a few settings on the platform, so I paid for multiple counseling sessions in advance. But later on, I felt that the teacher was not suitable for me during the counseling sessions. I'm not sure if it's possible to cancel the order and get a refund on the platform.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It should be fine. In addition, it is best to pay for each consultation individually next time, as it is more beneficial for the counseling process. The payment process for each session is meaningful and worth discussing. If you pay for multiple sessions at once, you will miss out on good opportunities for discussion. The setting of counseling fees is an important indicator of professionalism. I am not sure who initially proposed paying for multiple sessions at once, but if it was you, we need to discuss and understand the underlying needs behind this payment method. If it was the counselor's suggestion, I think it needs to be reconsidered.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14330
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I always lack my own opinion when others have different thoughts?",
        "description": "Why is it that whenever I encounter a problem, I start to waver in my previous thoughts? Just a few words from others can change my mindset and make me conform to their ideas. When others have different opinions, I become indecisive and anxious inside.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that you are somewhat blaming yourself, and you are also very confused about why you always lack assertiveness. First, I would like to invite you to try to explore your own thoughts: When you say that you waver in your previous thoughts when faced with a problem, does it mean that when you try to express your opinions and you find some errors or difficulties in the process of expression, you would want to change your viewpoint? When others have different opinions, does it make you feel flustered? Is this flustered feeling caused by fear of being different from others? Or is it due to conflicting with others? Or is it a fear of being invalidated or refuted by others? Lastly, I want to tell you that it is normal to have differences with others. Everyone has different perspectives, so your thoughts are also precious. Next time, you can try to express yourself boldly. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1348
       },
       {
        "question": "17, the heart is like a stagnant water without any ripples, how can it be changed?",
        "description": "Lately, I feel like my cognitive abilities have declined. Emotions like happiness, sadness, and anger seem to be fleeting and superficial, and I don't even know if they have actually occurred. I have no desires or ambitions, and my heart feels stagnant, as if my life only exists in the present and the future. I don't reminisce about the past or look forward to the future. This feeling has been with me constantly, and I usually feel gloomy. I don't consciously feel much, but the thought of it only leads to fatigue and slight irritability. This situation has left me without motivation, and even though I know what consequences this state could lead to, I remain stuck in simply being aware of it. I go through the motions of studying mechanically every day, but my heart lacks any feeling or investment. I only know to fill my time with actions, without considering efficiency or quality. I can't seem to recapture the feeling of willingly learning from morning till night. In my daily interactions with those around me, everything feels unrelated to me. No one knows what's going on inside me, and I don't feel like sharing. I want to change this lifeless state; I'm only 17, yet I already feel like I've lost my passion.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The opposite of depression is vitality. You just lack vitality. Grab everything you love. No matter how much time it takes to find, no matter how different it is from this world. Finding what you love is finding yourself. Love yourself well. Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself because of the fear that others won't accept it. (Communicate with your parents.)",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "People's energy fluctuates, their mental energy rises and falls like tides, and I believe this is a common state for many people. The fast-paced lifestyle leaves one feeling empty, confused, and lost. Depression, a mental cold, occurs when the immune system of the mind weakens. I believe that improving mental immunity can be approached from three aspects: \ud83e\udd141. Focus on your inner self and learn to appreciate yourself. Encourage yourself or have your best friend compliment you. It's also good to drink some spiritual chicken soup. Take a look at other people's difficulties; there is nothing new under the sun. There are people who are experiencing your pain and feeling what you feel. Some have already overcome similar difficulties, so see if there are any experiences you can learn from. \ud83e\udd142. Take care of your body and mind as one. Pay attention to your physical health, maintain a regular schedule, have a balanced diet, and engage in moderate exercise. \ud83e\udd143. Restore your mental energy. If you still have some interests or hobbies, draw strength from them. If not, try writing a journal to sort out your inner journey. Have a chat with someone, watch variety shows, listen to comedy sketches, or talk to a professional counselor. Best wishes~ To gather energy during ebb tide and strive during high tide is the only way to thrive continually.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11594
       },
       {
        "question": "Lately, I've been under a lot of stress. Whenever I think about something upsetting, I feel like crying, and when something makes me happy, I feel like laughing.",
        "description": "Sometimes my mood is bad, and other times I feel like laughing. When I think of something upsetting, I want to cry, but when something makes me happy, I want to laugh.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Hugs to you~ Every person in life will face stress from various aspects. When feeling tired, take a break, relax, and adjust your mood appropriately. So how do you deal with pressure? The way we interpret and handle stress is more crucial than the stress itself. The same thing, viewed from a different perspective, can be either a burden or a motivation. You can discover the positive aspects of stress, treating it as an opportunity and a challenge for yourself. Facing stress directly, we can choose to escape or courageously confront it. If we keep avoiding it, the problem will always be there. We can wait until our emotions are adjusted and then solve it accordingly. Take it easy, believe that everything will pass. It's helpful to confide in family and friends when feeling overwhelmed and in a bad mood. Find a quiet place to talk and chat with them. Expressing oneself can lighten the burden. Going for a walk can take a break from work and go out for a walk, get close to nature, go hiking, cycling, or just explore the surroundings. Temporary distance from stress allows the mind and body to relax. Wishing you can get rid of your worries and live a happy and joyful life~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I think your current state isn't too bad, and you still have positive thoughts. Personally, when I'm under a lot of stress, I usually only think of negative things. You should now identify the sources of your stress and analyze what is causing it. Is it from external factors or is it self-imposed? Most of the time, stress comes from within ourselves. I recently came across a saying: Our troubles and pain are not caused by the things themselves, but by the interpretations we attach to them. Reflect on recent events and determine if our perception of them is causing our stress. If so, adjust your mindset. Often, we give too much importance to things, making them more complicated than they actually are. If the stress is caused by external factors, then adapt yourself to deal with the impact from the outside. Since you can still think of positive things, engage in activities that bring you joy. Stress needs to be released; bottling it up won't solve the problem. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's like seeing each other in writing ~ The original poster mentioned that they have been under a lot of stress recently. Has something happened? I want to give the original poster a big warm hug ~ If the original poster is willing, they can talk about the source of their stress. I am willing to listen. If the original poster doesn't want to talk, they can write down their thoughts with pen and paper, describing the things that are causing them stress and their feelings about it. Or, if you like drawing, you can illustrate your feelings. The original poster mentioned their current state as follows: \"Feeling bad one moment, and feeling like laughing the next. Crying when thinking about something upsetting, and smiling when something makes you happy.\" We are all the same; we will always encounter happy or upsetting things. Allow yourself to cry freely when you feel like it, and laugh wholeheartedly when you are happy. There is nothing wrong with that. Accept your emotions, whether they are good or \"bad.\" After accepting them, if you are willing, you can also think about why something makes you happy or upset. Do you have any problems that need to be addressed? How will you solve them? We will accompany you through the screen - keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sorry for the late response. I'm curious how you're feeling now? From your description, it seems like your reactions are quite normal - feeling like crying when something bad happens and wanting to laugh when something good happens. However, it may be a bit concerning when these emotions switch rapidly and make it difficult for you to adapt. Maybe we can understand your needs and make adjustments based on the state you desire. Lastly, I want to emphasize that everything we do now is for the future, as the past is already behind us.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2769
       },
       {
        "question": "Depression seems to have made me feel neither human nor ghostly. How can I possibly regulate myself?",
        "description": "I am a junior college student majoring in literature and I feel increasingly depressed. Many times, I can even resonate with the tragic characters in literary works, and I become more and more withdrawn. I used to enjoy writing sad texts, but instead of finding solace, I sink deeper and deeper, identifying myself with those characters and becoming less and less social. I immerse myself in my own world. I have also started experiencing insomnia and low mood. I feel like I used to be a cheerful person in middle school, but now that I am in college, I feel like I hardly talk or interact with people, and I can only express my emotions through writing. So, I want to ask whether this persistent manifestation of depression can affect my appearance? How can I change this?",
        "keywords": "Therapy, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You have strong empathetic abilities and often resonate with tragic stories. (2) You used to be cheerful but now you've become unhappy. (3) You are worried that this depression might manifest outwardly and you want to make a change. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: (1) First, you possess a strong empathetic ability, which allows you to often resonate with literary works. This helps you understand the deeper meaning behind these works, but such intense empathy has started to affect your own life. Additionally, since the texts you read are sad, it seems you've fallen into a self-created cycle of sadness, finding it difficult to break free and sinking even deeper. (2) Secondly, you used to be cheerful but underwent a change in university. Is it because of the change in environment or the literary atmosphere you are currently in? I suggest you make full use of your empathetic ability and read some positive literary works, placing yourself in a more positive environment so you can gradually adapt. (3) Lastly, long-term depressive moods can potentially lead to symptoms of depression or outward behaviors. I recommend seeking professional help from a school counselor or therapist to receive specialized intervention and guidance. #The world and I love you, wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21904
       },
       {
        "question": "It is easy to feel nervous during exams, resulting in a blank mind and even trembling hands. How can this be improved?",
        "description": "From a young age, I have cared a lot about the achievements I have made and have a strong desire to prove myself. Usually, I am fine, but when it comes to formal exams or competitions, my mind goes blank with nervousness. I even tremble, and my actual performance often differs greatly from my expectations. When I was younger, I used to get very anxious while waiting for exam results, fearing that they would not meet my standards. This also happened when I participated as a seeded player in table tennis tournaments. Now, as I approach the high school entrance examination, I am experiencing the same thing. I would like to know the reasons behind this and if there are others who have had similar experiences. How can I improve?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, treatment methods, trauma treatment.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Your learning ability is pretty good, and you usually study hard and are good at understanding knowledge and skills. However, every time you have a major test or competition, you feel nervous and anxious, and your mind goes blank, causing you to not perform well. Is that right? There are two key factors to achieve good results in tests or competitions: one is the level of regular learning and skill mastery, and the other is the mental state or psychological qualities during the test. Both are essential. However, in China, many students, including myself when I was a student, and maybe you as well, have decent skills but struggle with poor mental resilience in the test environment. Why is that? It's because we care too much about the outcome. We feel superior only when we achieve good results, and our self-esteem and self-confidence suffer if the results are not satisfactory. Once our self-esteem is undermined, we feel a kind of death anxiety. We don't study because we enjoy it, or out of curiosity, or for the pleasure of acquiring knowledge; we study out of fear, self-centeredness, and the desire for superior results. Think about it, if we approach tests with a mindset of \"fear of death and escaping for survival,\" our mental state will definitely collapse and our mind will go blank. How can we alleviate this? First, we need to reduce the importance we place on the test results. It doesn't mean we shouldn't care about the results, but we should lower the significance of test results from a matter of \"life or death\" to a measure of our regular learning. Second, focus on controlling what is within our control. Test results are not entirely in our control. What we can control is solid preparation and doing our best to answer the questions in the test. Third, we can improve our mental resilience through frequent simulation exercises. By simulating tests, we can become familiar with the test environment and also identify and address our weaknesses in regular studying. When our foundation is solid, it will help stabilize our mental state during major tests. One test or competition does not determine our whole life, and performing well in one test does not necessarily prove our superiority. True learning is ongoing and a process. Let go of your fear, and I hope you can enjoy the test experience!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Your analysis of the beginning of the sentence is very good. You care too much about grades, rankings, and what others think of you, to the point where you become excessively anxious about exams and only focus on the future results. Consequently, you are unable to fully concentrate during exams, resulting in unsatisfactory grades. Test anxiety is a common issue among most students. After all, it has a significant impact on our future. Moderate nervousness can put us in a sprint mode, with heightened concentration and full focus on the exam process, leading to the best results. Excessive nervousness, however, can cause a blank mind and an inability to concentrate and complete the exam. During the exam, before it begins, focus your attention on your breathing. Concentrate on your own breathing, and after a few minutes, your whole body will relax. You can also practice deep breathing exercises, and after doing them 3-5 times, you will start to feel more relaxed. Once the exam starts, shift your attention to answering the questions. Regardless of the outcome, the process is important. Take each step seriously so that you can strive for the best results. It's worth noting that practicing deep breathing exercises is great for relaxation and it's beneficial to prepare yourself in advance.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20056
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do with masturbation addiction? It particularly affects my studies.",
        "description": "Every day, my mind is filled with thoughts of sexual things. Whenever I'm in class, I suddenly get distracted and start thinking about such things. It greatly affects my ability to concentrate and learn.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexual desire",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I hope the following information can help you: Are you a teenager? It is common to experience strong sexual desires during this stage of development. However, due to traditional cultural values and beliefs about sexuality, many teenagers have misconceptions and misunderstandings about the process of sexual development. For example, there is the idea of being addicted to masturbation, the belief that masturbation is harmful, the notion that a drop of sperm is equivalent to ten drops of blood, and the belief that masturbation has significant negative effects on the body. In reality, we should acknowledge and accept our sexual desires as a natural part of being human, similar to eating. So, what's wrong with masturbation? Masturbation can actually help relieve sexual desires and reduce stress. There is no such thing as excessive masturbation, as it varies for each individual depending on their own physical condition. Therefore, there is no need to make a big deal out of it. As for addiction, the term \"addiction\" implies a disease. Is it a disease? Clearly not. So, accept it, masturbate when you feel the need, and focus on your studies the rest of the time. The so-called psychological mechanism of addiction is being afraid of excessive masturbation, which leads to anxiety, and then the need to masturbate for relief, thus creating a cycle. \u03b5 Wishing you a happy National Day. The world and I love you.",
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        "questionID": 8016
       },
       {
        "question": "The child is still young, and my wife and I have been living apart for 10 months. How can I win back my wife and save our family?",
        "description": "Because the communication between my wife and I was not very good during our time together, I slowly began to suspect that she might be having an affair. My suspicions led to us living separately for ten months, and on October 3rd, during a face-to-face meeting, my wife verbally expressed her desire for a divorce. How can I salvage this family and win back my wife?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, relationship management, mother-in-law and son-in-law.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. I can tell that you are very confused about how to reconcile your family and don't know what to do. I really sympathize with your current situation. According to your description, your suspicion of your wife having an affair has led to your separation. Although I don't know the exact details of your relationship, at present, you have a suspicious opinion about this matter. As a woman, your wife values her reputation, and it is not appropriate to make accusations without concrete evidence. Perhaps you can gather evidence first and then discuss this matter with her. It may be that her decision to separate from you is also for the sake of her reputation. If you are determined to save your wife and your family, I suggest seeking help from other family members or relatives. Appeal to her emotions and reason with her. After fully understanding her views, explain to her the importance of parents' participation in the child's future and the need to provide the child with a complete family. Perhaps these factors can change her mind.",
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        "questionID": 3289
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old female, why do I always feel like my partner is tired of me in the past year?",
        "description": "In the past, we used to argue and fight, but recently the fights have become worse. Divorce is often mentioned. He has changed the password for everything on his phone, and I don't know any of them. He says it's nothing. But why lock it up and not let me know? He even says he's tired of our life together. I don't know if the problem is with me or with them. It's giving me a headache. I can't eat or sleep well. I want to communicate with him, but he always avoids it by saying he doesn't want to talk to me.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: I see that you have made some efforts in this relationship. Do you hope that your relationship can be improved? In that case, you need to pay more attention to what you can do to make the other person willing to communicate with you on this issue. I suggest you think back to how you used to get along happily. Can you find that happy way of getting along again and make your relationship more harmonious?",
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        "questionID": 19025
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I forget the nightmares of my childhood that I don't want to remember anymore? I'm 35 years old now.",
        "description": "When I was 7 years old, I was raped by a teacher. It was really painful, and there was a lot of bleeding. Now, at the age of 35, I still think about it every day. How can I forget?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-acceptance, and life meaning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. The childhood painful memory is unforgettable until now, and OP also wants to walk out of this pain, but cannot forget it, and does not know how to forget these things. [Analysis and suggestions] 1. Emotions and feelings sometimes accompany events, but they will not disappear if not dealt with, they will only be buried in the heart like an unremovable thorn. When OP encountered that thing in childhood, did OP tell the family? Did OP report it? Did the teacher involved receive punishment? If not, it is normal for this heart knot to exist for so many years. On the one hand, the person involved did not receive the punishment they deserved, on the other hand, OP alone bears this feeling of repression and pain. 2. fundamentally, OP is in a victim's position in this kind of thing, and may consider speaking out about this to mom or trusted family members, telling them about their inner pain and grievances. After emotional release, it will feel better. If these emotions seriously affect OP's learning and work life, it is still advisable for OP to seek professional help to deal with this kind of childhood trauma.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 20008
       },
       {
        "question": "Being mocked by classmates for as long as two years, it has led to post-traumatic stress. How can one self-rescue from this situation?",
        "description": "Because of appearance issues during high school adolescence, I was overweight and formed a fake relationship with another male classmate who shared the same concerns as me. We were teased and ridiculed by our classmates for up to two years. Due to my submissive personality, I endured it and didn't express my feelings or discuss it with my parents, who didn't consider it a big deal and took no action. As a result, I have long lacked self-confidence in my appearance and even developed post-traumatic stress. I would enter a negative mental state, feeling mentally tense and fearful for 3 to 4 days when encountering certain triggers, such as the name of the boy or certain scenarios. This has had a long-term impact on my academic performance and mindset, leading to lack of confidence, lazy behavior, and learned helplessness. I am currently deeply trapped in a state of low self-esteem. The problem is that although the adolescence phase has passed, this incident still deeply affects my current life. It prevents me from getting into a state of flow during studying, resulting in low efficiency and a diminished sense of happiness in life.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you warm hugs. Experiencing bullying at school, such as being mocked, subjected to verbal violence, and facing aesthetic bullying, can be extremely painful and have a negative impact. It may take time to process and overcome the pain and effects of these negative experiences. The trauma you mentioned, where certain words or scenes associated with the name of a male student trigger negative psychological states of anxiety and fear, can lead to negative associations and flashbacks. Therefore, it would be beneficial to work on blocking negative associations and desensitizing yourself to past incidents, in addition to utilizing other coping measures for better results. Entangled in trauma-induced stress during high school and adolescence, being teased for appearance and weight, enduring class-wide mockery without timely expression or retaliation, long-term lack of confidence in appearance, and adopting behaviors of laziness and helplessness have all been influenced by the ongoing effects of that trauma. It may be necessary to seek professional help to address these past experiences. Your low learning efficiency and lack of happiness in life indicate that the trauma from the past is affecting your life. It would be best to conduct a comprehensive and systematic review, breaking away from past experiences and establishing new positive associations. Although those past events occurred, they inflicted a certain amount of trauma on you, and it seems like the pain from that verbal violence trauma still lingers. It would be helpful to attempt a new relationship with that period of history. Regarding post-traumatic stress disorder, cognitive reprocessing and dialectical behavioral therapy are recommended. The unstable emotional state you are experiencing seems to have a negative impact on your adaptation to life. As long as you are willing, there are still plenty of opportunities to re-engage with the outside world. When negative flashbacks occur, remind yourself that you are now safe and that those past events were the fault of others, not yours. Amidst the chaotic world, it is crucial to maintain inner resilience when dealing with setbacks. Under the motivation of cultivating empathy, warm yourself and engage with the world. Now, try to consider the things that worry or concern you, including traumatic events. If anxiety arises, silently repeat in your mind: \"This is just the way the world is, constantly changing and separating. I am capable of protecting myself now.\" Additionally, keep objects that make you feel safe nearby as reminders, slowly dissipate the stress and flashbacks, and seek ways to reduce adaptation pressure. All you need to do is change your thoughts and responses to upcoming sources of stress. The past may be unchangeable, but you can restructure how you deal with it. Human vitality is strong. With persistent practice, you can reap great benefits that will enable you to tackle future difficulties. Therefore, resilience demonstrates that you care about your inner feelings and have the confidence to handle them, as well as accumulating courage and positive experiences within yourself. If possible, it is recommended to seek psychological counseling.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Well, if I'm fat, so what? I'm not eating your food anyway. Why should others worry when I don't? As a chubby person, I have indeed faced some criticism regarding my body shape and height. However, we can take a dialectical view of things, as ultimately, nothing is more important than our health. I remember during high school, my height was only around 1.5 meters, which was looked down upon in the male community. Walking around school, people often mistook me for a middle schooler, and it felt really uncomfortable. Especially during break time or when queuing, I was put in the girls' line several times, and I can't express how disheartening that felt. Later, when I vented my feelings online, someone told me that height is something we can't control, but our body shape and abilities can be changed by ourselves. So I slowly understood that certain things are predetermined, like our appearance and height, which is largely influenced by genetics. However, our temperament and the ability we rely on for survival are things we strive for ourselves. Although looks may be a bonus, it doesn't mean it determines everything. Even if we are a little overweight, we can exercise more and as long as our bodies are healthy, being a bit fat doesn't matter. We can't make others stop talking, but our abilities are something they can't take away. Have confidence, and you'll meet the best version of yourself. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for sharing! First of all, I think you shouldn't label yourself. We all have our own insecurities \u2014 being too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, having poor grades, unattractive appearance, etc. We are born being attacked, and at the same time, we consciously or unconsciously attack others as well. Adler wrote a book called \"Inferiority and Superiority,\" which explains this well. How to transcend these insecurities is the issue at hand. Those who have achieved some level of success and accomplishment are the ones who have figured out this problem. On one hand, if you feel inferior to others, accept it, and then develop another aspect. Our appearance is given to us by our parents, our academic achievements are our own, friends are our own, and the future path is also our own.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9712
       },
       {
        "question": "Different regions, my boyfriend is resistant to the bride price, what should I do?",
        "description": "I haven't been with my boyfriend for very long, but we recently discussed marriage. In my family, the bride price is quite high, while his family's is low. The bride price would be four or five years' savings for him. I'm willing to work hard and save up this money, because I know my parents will need this much for the bride price, and there won't be any dowry because my family isn't well off. My parents are expecting this money and counting on me to work and earn it, so my boyfriend is afraid that my family is like a bottomless pit. I feel guilty in my heart. On one hand, I feel sorry for my parents and want to support them in their old age. However, when my parents clearly state that they want me to earn money or when they're just demanding money, I really want to avoid it. I'm willing to treat them well, but when it becomes about demanding, I feel scared. So I told my boyfriend that it's okay if he doesn't have much money, but the bride price is inevitable, and I made it clear that I would earn that money myself. But even what I said made him scared. I'm conflicted. Will he truly love me if I give the bride price money myself? When we weren't together, I mentioned being short on funds inadvertently and said I needed support. He offered, but I refused. But later, when I mentioned lacking money once, he started saying that he doesn't have money either and is reluctant to spend it himself. I'm scared that he might not be worthy of my love. I'm the kind of person who will be good to the person I like without being asked. I'm afraid his family won't agree. I don't know what to do now.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Many people say that money is the \"enemy\" of all emotions, that talking about money hurts relationships, and so on. I can feel the inner conflict of the OP. On the one hand, there is the family, on the other hand, there is the beloved person. Faced with financial pressures from both sides, the OP starts to worry about the relationship with the boyfriend. Firstly, I don't know if the OP cares about the custom of dowry. From the OP's description, I feel that parents attach more importance to the dowry as a sense of \"security\". On the one hand, it's like a guarantee for their old age, and on the other hand, it's also a guarantee from the groom to the bride. This is one of the reasons why dowry exists in China. Therefore, when facing the parents' request for dowry, the OP may first analyze what the parents really want: is it just money for their old age, or do they see the dowry as a proof of the groom's attitude towards this marriage? Then, the OP can respond to their request accordingly. If it's just about money, the OP can directly explain the situation to the parents and express the intention to take care of them as much as possible, but not to be under too much pressure. If it serves another purpose, to prove the groom's attitude towards the marriage, then the OP needs to communicate with the boyfriend. Some people may think that spending money on the other person is a way to test if they truly love you, but my opinion is: everyone has different views on money, and spending money on us doesn't necessarily mean they truly love us. Conversely, not spending money doesn't necessarily mean they don't love us. The important thing is whether the person is willing to take responsibility. As for the difference in views on money, I think the OP can find out through communication with the boyfriend. To know if the other person genuinely treats the OP, it depends on their attitude: mutual understanding should exist between each other.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 15589
       },
       {
        "question": "Can a man who has cheated on his partner change his ways and stop cheating?",
        "description": "After my boyfriend cheated and asked for forgiveness, I'm slowly starting to alleviate my suspicions. His behavior has been decent, but I've read many articles and comments online saying that once a cheater, always a cheater. However, I also believe that there are no absolutes in life. Are there any cases where someone has stopped cheating after one incident? We both want to enter into marriage. How can we prevent infidelity, or are there any examples or methods that can truly help a wanderer change their ways?",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Every relationship is dynamic, and whether or not someone will cheat is related to the person's character as well as the state of your relationship. It also depends on the cost of betraying the relationship. If he is someone who is consistently unfaithful or has a habit of cheating, no matter what you do, he will cheat. If your relationship has many problems and cannot meet each other's emotional needs, and if he cannot find fulfillment through hobbies or contentment with himself, he will seek external means to satisfy his emotional needs, either through physical or emotional infidelity. If the cost of betraying the relationship is low, for example, if he knows that you won't leave no matter how he betrays you, then the likelihood of him cheating will be higher. The most uncontrollable situation can be managed with a set of methods, not that it is impossible, but it will cause mental and physical exhaustion, and you may not necessarily achieve satisfactory results. Instead of trying to control the uncontrollable, it is better to focus on yourself, on how to improve the current state of your relationship, and to focus on the present without fearing the future. Based on the points mentioned above, here are a few suggestions for reference: First, understand what type of person you have chosen. Women who want to change a \"wild\" man often have a nurturing mindset. The relationship between a nurturing person and a \"big baby\" is that the nurturing person repeatedly holds onto the hope of a final change, while the \"big baby\" keeps making \"mistakes\" to balance the relationship. Analyze whether the person you have chosen is a \"big baby\" or a \"wild\" person, and whether you have the mentality to save him or change him. Second, prioritize self-improvement rather than monitoring the other person. Yang Lan said, \"A girl should be like a flower, and men will be attracted like butterflies. Instead of constantly pleasing and chasing after the other person, that kind of life is too dreadful.\" Always prioritize self-value improvement. When you become excellent, beautiful, and charming, even if this man cheats, there will be better ones waiting for you, or you can live well on your own. When you have the confidence and ability to leave him, he will be the one who dares not leave. Third, reduce the weight of love. Since emotional betrayal is a high-risk situation, how can you mitigate the risk or have a better attitude when facing a crisis? That is, reduce the importance of love in your life. When you have many sources of happiness (such as your career, friendships, and interests), and when you are not \"ALL IN\" on love, even if it fails, you will not fall apart, and your life will not be \"ruined.\" When facing unexpected events, it's better not to try to control them. Shift your focus to yourself. The happier and more confident you become, with a stable sense of self and the confidence to leave, the higher the cost for your boyfriend to lose you, and the more afraid he is of losing you. Only then can he possibly control himself and not destroy the relationship. Not cheating is the result of nurturing yourself and the relationship, not the goal.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It should be possible to change and start fresh, but confessing to an affair can be challenging. Prevention is impossible. Many things rely on self-awareness. Because you cannot watch him 24 hours a day, right? The future is also uncertain. So, all we can do is try to minimize the chances. The future is not absolute, so it is possible that he will not have an affair, but it is also possible that he will continue to have affairs. However, the likelihood of having an affair will definitely increase because the future is longer. I can accurately say that the rate of infidelity is higher for women than men because there are more men than women. Only women are more discreet. So sometimes, you need to educate them on how to reduce the chances. You need to control his finances to some extent. If he has no money, he cannot afford hotel rooms or chase after other women, right? If he wants to have an affair, he will have to live at someone else's place. So, you need to get hold of his work schedule. Know when he rests and when he goes to work. You need to have a clear understanding of his daily life and work routine. And then, it is very important to monitor his business trips because you cannot keep an eye on him during those times, so you must inquire about them. Checking is crucial. I don't need to go into detail about checking his phone, QQ, WeChat, etc., right? Completely avoid him spending the night outside. Discourage him from spending time outside. Every time he goes on a trip or something, exhaust him first. If he has no energy left, how can he go out? It's like going to war, right? Even when he returns, you should check the smell or marks on his pants or clothes. These can be clues to look for. In any case, start with the details. Educate him more about sexually transmitted diseases and safety. Make him a little scared. It's good for both of you. In case he sneaks out without you knowing, at least he won't bring any diseases home. Of course, it's even better if he doesn't sneak out at all. It means safety, but we should still educate and make him feel a little scared.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: Thank you for the invitation, and I apologize for taking so long to respond! I can sense that you are torn apart because of your boyfriend's infidelity. On one hand, your boyfriend, as a prodigal son, has shown sincere remorse and repentance. On the other hand, you are afraid that forgiving him too easily will lead to a repeat of his actions, causing inner conflict and torment. First of all, let's determine how long you have known your boyfriend and what your relationship foundation is like. What happened that caused him to cheat? Since you haven't provided detailed and objective information, let's make a few assumptions and answer your question based on those assumptions. If your boyfriend is inherently promiscuous and frequently engages in infidelity, then whether you choose to forgive him or not, he will definitely continue to hurt you. If your boyfriend is genuinely a gentleman and this incident was a rare occurrence, such as a result of being drunk, then perhaps he has learned his lesson and can genuinely change for the better, given that you have enough trust in him and a solid relationship foundation. Furthermore, if your boyfriend has no character issues, but your romantic relationship has problems or there are cracks in your emotional connection due to poor communication, his infidelity may be driven by the deficiencies in your relationship, satisfying either his physical or emotional needs. In this case, the probability of future infidelity is inevitable. Additionally, what you said is not wrong \u2013 there are always exceptions. We need to understand, what is our attitude towards love, relationships, and commitments when exceptions occur? If we maintain a \"sit back and enjoy\" attitude, then once the honeymoon period is over, our true nature may resurface. If we approach the relationship with the attitude of reestablishing and preserving love, then the outcome may be as we hope for. As for how to prevent infidelity, it depends on each other's personalities and the level of trust. If both you and your partner are sensitive individuals, regardless of what meaningful actions you take for the relationship, it will continually cast doubt and shadows. For example, if you approach the relationship with a vigilant mindset, where you cannot trust anything he does, just imagine how he would react to your feelings. There are methods, of course, but the chain reaction that occurs once they are implemented may be unforeseeable. For example, you can reach an agreement with your boyfriend that if he makes a mistake after marriage, all your shared assets will be transferred to your name, leaving him with nothing. But just think about it \u2013 even as you attempt to use a set of theories and methods to defend against your boyfriend, the foundation of trust that you both have starts to crack. So, if you want to continue this relationship, you can tell your boyfriend about your inner conflict and struggle clearly and state explicitly that there will be no second chances. What is your bottom line in terms of endurance? Additionally, I think you shouldn't forgive him easily at first. Ignore him for a while to let him know how angry and upset you are this time, and also to show him the depth of pain that his infidelity has caused you. As for how long, you need to tell him specifically that it's an observation period as well as a punishment period. Good luck, and remember that I will always love you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Just like what the OP said, nothing in this world is absolute. There are definitely cases of infidelity as mentioned by the OP, but we need to consider a question: Can this act of infidelity really be forgiven and forgotten? Because trust is sometimes like a piece of paper, it will still have wrinkles even if we crumple it and then unfold it. Although time is the best medicine, trust between two people cannot be restored all at once. Moreover, due to the other person's job situation, many things may not develop as we expect. Therefore, we need to prepare for the worst. We can analyze the reasons for the other person's infidelity. Are there other problems between the two of us? If it was just a momentary impulse and the other person has not invested genuine emotions, and they can also recognize their own mistakes and have some plans for our future, and have made many precautions to give us some confidence, and we are also unwilling to give up this relationship, then we can give them another chance. However, this time we must think carefully, if the other person commits the same mistake again, will we forgive them? We can make an agreement with the other person: if they have similar thoughts again, we hope they will end this relationship first instead of cheating on us. If they are planning to deceive us, then be prepared to be deceived for a lifetime, otherwise, we should not continue. If we can truly learn to let go slowly, and during this time we don't need to have too much suspicion, entrusting some things to the other person to handle, and some behaviors to be proven by time, what we need to do is to become a better version of ourselves. The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Do you know that men often have affairs after getting married? You are still in the early stages of dating, and he has already cheated. What will happen in the future? It is inevitable that it will happen again. But according to what I've read online, many articles and comments say that infidelity can happen once or multiple times. Personally, I think this statement is true. If he is not faithful to you even before marriage, then even if he claims to like you, you are not held in higher regard than anyone else in his heart. Once the excitement fades, your relationship and feelings will change. Even if it happens only once, it is still a betrayal. If you are already married and he cheats, there is a possibility of him being faithful in the future if you forgive him. But since you are still in the dating phase, it is different. He might become faithful to you later, but I think you should still be cautious. There are no absolutes in reality, but you should also take precautions. Are there cases where someone does not commit infidelity anymore after cheating? It depends on the specific situation and how strong their willpower is. Both of you want to get married, so why would the other person still cheat? You should consider how much love and sincerity the other person has for you. Two people who are ready for marriage are definitely a good match. If you truly love each other, there is no need for measures or forcing your way into marriage. It seems a bit too demanding and restrictive. Moreover, in today's society, wealthy men are more prone to infidelity. If you can't control them, it may be better to first try to improve yourself. A woman who is outstanding in her own right will naturally attract many men. Interactions between men and women need to have a certain degree of appropriateness. Zhou Guoping once said, \"Don't care too much about a person. The more you care, the more inferior you become.\" Do you know the concept of the threshold effect? The more you compromise, the more disrespectful the other person will become. Instead of worrying about how to get married, it's better to focus on improving yourself. There are many men in the world, and there will always be someone who treats you well and cherishes you. So, work hard to change yourself. An excellent woman will naturally exude charm. Keep going, and you will find happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When I was young, I used to work in the field with my parents. There was someone in the neighboring plot plowing the land with oxen. I saw him holding a whip, vigorously swinging it at the ox's buttocks, trying to pull and make it move forward. But the ox wouldn't budge, it even stepped back! At that time, I wondered, why doesn't it move? Besides, the ox is so big, how can you pull it? Now, maybe you hold the whip that makes it move forward, but if it wants to go off track, can you stop it by holding the whip? If it wants to move forward with you, you don't need to forcefully pull it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17735
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old girl, recently over the past year, always feels suppressed at home and wants to escape.",
        "description": "I didn't feel anything at home before. I knew that my parents' relationship was always bad. My mom loved to complain and my dad ignored her. But I was used to it. Since I went to university, I have seen my boyfriend's happy family with good parental relationship, a happy household and cheerful personalities. I really envy that. This may be one of the triggers for my stress. As my parents' conflicts become more and more intense, I feel sorry for my younger brother. I don't want to stay at home anymore, but my mom will restrict my actions and express dissatisfaction with my behavior anytime and anywhere. It's like she's controlling me. When we go out to eat, she actively asks me to order the dishes and then completely overturns my choices. My dad has a strange personality and a strong self-esteem. He tries to make others respect him by adopting a superior attitude. But I really can't respect him when he relies on being older and more experienced. What's wrong with me? How can I change?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading the author's confessions, I deeply understand the pain in your heart. I give you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1. \"What's wrong with me?\" You lack self-awareness. In other words, you don't know how to plan your own life, and you don't know how to choose your own way of life. In life, you are a person without a strong will. When faced with problems, you always have no idea what to choose. You feel very confused and don't know what you really want. 2. Firstly, the problems in every child can be traced back to their parents. In the past, maybe the disharmony in your family caused you a lot of harm. It also led to your lack of confidence and sensitivity. It's okay, now you have grown up and have a boyfriend. You have the ability to choose the life you want. As long as you don't give permission, no one can harm you. 3. \"I really, really envy, and this may be a trigger for my stress.\" Don't underestimate your boyfriend's intelligence. He loves you, he chose you not because he is stupid. And, this is precisely the wisest decision he has made in his life. In a relationship, if you feel inferior, then the end of this relationship is not far away. Try to be independent. Work-study, manage your studies, hobbies, friendships, love, and family relationships well. This way, you can reduce the impact your original family has on you. When you become independent and no longer rely on your family, it will be difficult for your parents to control you. Thank you for your question, may all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19307
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does feeling unsafe in one's environment lead to social anxiety?",
        "description": "I became introverted and even seemed aloof in the eyes of others after joining a new company. When I feel a sense of safety in the environment (or feel appreciated for my abilities by others), I am still cheerful, talkative, and confident in unfamiliar surroundings. However, when I sense that the environment does not provide a feeling of security (perhaps due to the excellence of people around me or the fear of saying something wrong and feeling embarrassed), I experience social anxiety. I become silent and don't speak. But deep down, I really want to integrate into the new team, yet I don't know where to start. I feel like there are \"two me\" - one confident, the other insecure and timid. I don't know what happened to me and why I am like this. I really hope to find ways to resolve this inner conflict. Thank you very much.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, colleagues, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The topic owner's personal abilities are unquestionable, but they belong to the slow warm-up type, so they need an adaptation period when encountering some problems, and this period is not easy to control. When entering a new company, a period of adaptation is definitely needed. We don't need to be overly anxious. Inner self-confidence is definitely necessary. In fact, a sense of security is never given by others, so we can make adjustments according to the current situation. Look at what our position and responsibilities are, we can roughly understand the current situation, see what needs to be learned, what are our strengths and weaknesses, and how to cooperate with others. For problems that can be solved by Baidu or oneself, we can solve them on our own. If it is indeed a problem that cannot be solved by oneself alone, we can think about it ourselves, express our thoughts, and find a team member when the other person is not too busy, try to avoid multiple rework. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see that you're feeling anxious and uneasy. You have a strong self-awareness and sensitivity to your own emotions. You care about how the environment and others perceive you. But it's important to note that your self-worth should not come from others' opinions. You worry that others might not think highly of you and doubt if you are good enough, perfect enough, or strong enough. This leads to self-blame and a mindset of trying to please others. The truth is, everyone is focused on themselves and has limited mental energy to focus on others. We all focus on three things: other people's matters, our own matters, and matters beyond our control. Confucius once said, \"At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without transgressing the boundaries.\" When we reach the age of seventy, we can follow our inner desires without deliberately conforming to others' judgments and thoughts, as long as we don't cross legal and moral boundaries. This is the state of natural harmony. We need to integrate and accept our inner conflicts and pains, understand and respect ourselves, and love ourselves in order to love others properly. Start by acknowledging your own inner needs, avoiding absolute demands on yourself and others, and avoiding extreme negative thinking patterns that view things as either black or white, this or that. Even in separation, loss, trauma, and pain, there can be positive aspects. Childhood anxiety caused by an impatient mother or a father who focuses only on pleasing news can lead to a personality trait of seeking approval and withholding bad news. Double standards and emotional manipulation, like saying \"I'm doing this for your own good, you should do this and that, and if you know you're wrong, why don't you change?\" can have a controlling influence. As adults, it's important to establish our own identity, reduce the impact of intergenerational transmission from our parents, understand their upbringing and parenting shortcomings, and integrate our own feelings from that experience. Engaging in exercise, practicing mindfulness meditation, reading and learning about psychology, and seeking the company of a therapist can all be helpful choices. I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, you could say that everyone cares a lot about what others think of them, but if you care too much, then that small self will pop up and start worrying about what others might think of you. The real self becomes hidden, preferring not to take any action or make any mistakes. In reality, there's no need for that. You are yourself, and no matter how you approach things, it reflects your true abilities and methods. If someone's evaluation is fair, then thank them. If it's negative, use it as an opportunity to recognize and improve upon your weaknesses. Don't let others influence you. Work diligently, interact sincerely, and you will find security within yourself. Overcome the small self and embrace a confident life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2109
       },
       {
        "question": "33-year-old woman, who has severe OCD and sleep disorders, what should she do?",
        "description": "In high school, I had a lot of academic stress, which affected my sleep. I would often have nightmares during nap time. In college, I have never been able to fall asleep during the afternoon. I developed OCD, initially avoiding sitting in places I considered unclean. In recent years, I have felt that pen ink is impossible to wash off, and just seeing it makes me uncomfortable. I also need to feel safe at all times, regardless of how far away someone is behind me. Sometimes, my back feels tight, and I have been struggling with sleep disorders for over 10 years. I work in the IT industry and I feel like I can't handle it anymore. I am seeking help to find relief.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, mental disorders.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello~~~ First, give the poster a hug. From the description, it can be understood that the poster has some obsessive behaviors and sleep disorders, and it has been going on for a long time, causing a lot of pain. [Analysis and Suggestions] 1. Problems caused by long-term mental stress are difficult to change on their own. The poster may try to find a professional counseling office for treatment, using systematic treatment methods, and may need to use medication to have an effective targeted symptom treatment, etc. 2. Sleep problems: consciously exerting oneself during the day is helpful for sleep at night, such as exercise, or reading some difficult books before bed to consume energy. With a regular plan and schedule, it can have some effect. I hope this helps the poster.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17990
       },
       {
        "question": "A 20-year-old young man recently has been having trouble falling asleep at night and experiencing unexplainable panic and fear.",
        "description": "Even when I fall asleep, I always have dreams and wake up in a fright. I don't know what I am afraid of in my mind, and I am always worried that I will go crazy. Do I have anxiety disorder? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, mental disorders.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~Want to have a warm hug~ Dreaming is a normal phenomenon. Maybe you have been under a lot of stress recently, which has led to waking up from dreams and poor sleep quality, resulting in short-term sleep disorders. Feeling scared or afraid of going crazy may be due to excessive worry about your current situation. Perhaps you can go for more walks to relax and improve your mood, which will help with your sleep. Maybe you can go to the gym more often or engage in other sports, which can help you get tired and sleep better. Maybe you can also communicate more with family and friends, go out and do activities to release psychological stress, and lighten your burden, which may also contribute to better sleep.",
          "has_label": true,
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           },
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        ],
        "questionID": 11254
       },
       {
        "question": "Drawing gives me a sense of well-being, but what should I do when I am greatly discouraged after asking others for their opinions?",
        "description": "I thought I was pretty good at drawing, but when I shared my artwork, I didn't receive any comments. No one asked me to collaborate on any projects, and my classmates told me to practice more. I used to believe that I wasn't too bad at drawing, but now I feel like I have been overly positive about myself. Things that I used to be good at have suddenly become my weaknesses, and I have lost confidence. I don't know if there is anything else I am good at, and I don't understand my own worth anymore. It's just a small matter, but I'm thinking too much about it. Should I start considering things I like as things I am not good at and then try to improve slowly? But if I see things as something I am not good at, I will gradually start disliking them and become even worse at them. I don't want that. But I have lost my confidence because no matter how good I think my work is, there are always many problems with it. I feel so upset.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and learning, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! From different perspectives, there are different standards, so you don't have to be deeply affected by other people's opinions. Of course, as human beings, we have our own set of standards, just like \"no rules, no standards.\" We need these indicators to guide the public's lives, just like fashion has its own aesthetic standards. Sometimes, the release of a new product can lead a trend for a period of time. Indeed, we often believe that what the majority likes is correct. Psychologist Asch's famous conformity experiment regarding line judgment is similar to this experiment. Have you ever noticed that some of the new products introduced at Paris Fashion Week in recent years make you doubt your own taste? At the same time, the reason why we can compare and determine value is because we use these indicators as reference points for comparison. But who can bravely claim that their standards are absolutely correct? Late period works by Picasso are considered to be the pinnacle of art by artists, but from the perspective of an ordinary person like myself, I can't figure out its appeal. However, I'm not advising you to ignore the external evaluations, but rather not to attach your own value to them. So how should you balance it? Everyone has different self-awareness and evaluation methods, and here I'll only provide some suggestions: 1. First, you need to clarify why you paint. If you paint for profit, to realize your value (meaning external recognition), then you may have to pay more attention to external evaluations. For example, the requirements of the client, market acceptance, and popular trends, etc. 2. You mentioned that when others think your art is not good, you lose motivation to paint. This is largely because you value external evaluations and see praise from others as motivation. If you want to continue pursuing your interest, then you have to objectively view evaluations. If many people believe that you need more practice, it means that you haven't reached the level that the public loves yet, but it doesn't mean that you're worthless. Don't you find the process of improvement interesting? It's not embarrassing to strive in an area you love, and admitting your shortcomings doesn't mean you're incompetent. Having self-worth independent of external factors can achieve a stable mental state. 3. You can think about what standards you rely on to believe that your art is good, what is good about it, and whether you have overestimated it. Maybe you will find that your unique perspective is being buried, or perhaps you can create new areas of painting. Before Jay Chou debuted, he composed and wrote songs for many people, but they were all rejected because the style was strange. However, he got a chance to perform his own works and found his own position.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "I can definitely understand how the author feels. Sometimes on Q&A platforms, I also feel that my answers are good, but after half an hour or an hour passes without anyone giving me a thumbs up, I start to doubt if my answers are not good enough, or if my abilities are lacking, and so on. Luckily, I have taken some courses on cognitive behavioral therapy, which enables me to adjust my thoughts and emotions. In cognitive behavioral therapy, it emphasizes examining automatic thinking. I don't know if the author has noticed, but in their description, there are actually a lot of \"all or nothing\" and \"generalization\" thoughts. For example, after external evaluation, they directly perceive drawing, which they originally believed they were good at, as something they are not good at. Or for example, if their drawing doesn't meet their ideal standards, they invalidate their own worth. If we use a scale of 0-10 as reference, where 0 represents extremely low drawing skills and 10 represents the highest level of drawing skills, the people around may have a standard of 8+, they might think the author's artwork hasn't reached 8 points, and there is room for improvement. But the author gives themselves a heavy blow: \"I haven't reached 8 points, so my skill level is 0,\" which is a typical \"all or nothing\" thinking pattern. If the author, due to this kind of automatic thinking and self-defeat, gives up their love for drawing, then I think it would be a pity. Besides, the same applies to one's own worth. Even if we take it to the extreme and say that their drawing is indeed below the standards of those around them, it doesn't mean that they have no worth. Not being good at something doesn't equal to one's worth as a person. This is something we should remind ourselves of all the time. Even if drawing is not good, I still respect my parents and contribute to society... I still have worth. What's even more important is that we should take back the power to determine our own worth, and never let others decide whether we have worth or not. Finally, I think artistic creation requires modifications based on others' feedback. For example, in our country's classic novel \"Dream of the Red Chamber,\" the book went through additions, deletions, and modifications for almost ten years after it was first published. Even such a great work needs to be finely polished. Or perhaps we can try to adopt a different attitude or perspective towards the evaluation of those around us, not seeing these evaluations as monstrous floods, but as suggestions for our potential improvement. The end~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ It's important to understand that everyone has their own perspective when it comes to looking at the same thing. This means that no matter how good your drawing is, you cannot please everyone. There will always be people who say your drawing is good, and there will always be people who say it's not good. Moreover, when others evaluate your work, you need to realize that it is from their own perspective and with their own experiences. This means that their evaluation may not necessarily be true. Furthermore, instead of seeking praise from others, I think it is more valuable to encourage others to give honest feedback on your work, both the good and the bad. If you already draw really well, then what is there for you to improve? It is precisely because your work still has many imperfections that you should put effort and time into making those shortcomings better. Actually, whether it's drawing or doing anything else, initially, most people are at a relatively low level, and it is through step-by-step progress that they become stronger and more skilled. This is a necessary process. Of course, hoping for affirmation from others is very normal, but if you can only accept affirmation and cannot accept criticism, then it means your room for improvement will be limited, because you cannot see where your drawing is not good. Isn't that worse? It's not about seeing what you like as something you're not good at, but rather realizing that when you do something you like, it also cannot be perfect just because you like it. It's precisely because you like it that you should make those areas where you are not doing well better. I like this thing, so I am willing to spend time and energy to make it better - thinking in this way seems more conducive to improving your skills. And from another perspective, I cannot dislike something just because I am not good at it, and I cannot choose to like something just because I am good at it, because liking and being good at something actually have no necessary connection. And precisely because you like it, you can slowly become good at the things you are not good at. In this process, you will also experience a lot of joy. So, the next time someone says your drawing is not good, you should acknowledge that your drawing is indeed not particularly outstanding, and there's no shame in that. Then, you should tell yourself in your heart - yes, there are still many areas where I need improvement in this drawing, but I will definitely make good improvements because I enjoy doing this. And I will definitely get better. Don't focus too much on how others perceive you externally, instead, think more about what changes you can make for yourself in this matter. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I also like to draw. I believe it is one of my strengths, although I have not received formal training and I am not an art major. In fact, drawing as a hobby has excellent effects on personal growth and character development. If you want to make money by taking commissions, you will need to put in more effort. In return, you will also gain a greater sense of achievement. You should carefully consider whether you want to make a career out of drawing or if you simply have a passion for it. If it is a passion, don't worry too much about gains and losses. By persevering in what you love, you will definitely reap rewards in this field. Keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! When it comes to drawing, I feel that it is more about expressing ourselves, expressing our inspiration or certain emotions. If we are too focused on others' opinions, it may hinder our ability to draw well. Moreover, others' opinions are not completely objective, especially in the realm of art. Everyone may have their own opinions, likes or dislikes, good or bad, and these judgments are highly subjective. We don't need to rely too much on others' judgments to determine our actions. My suggestion is: focus on yourself and improve your drawing skills. OP should shift their focus back to themselves, not placing too much importance on external commissions or evaluations, but rather on improving their drawing abilities. When your skills improve, other opportunities will come naturally. Additionally, it's important to have confidence in yourself. If drawing is something you enjoy, then have the determination to pursue it and don't let others' opinions affect you. I believe in you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8569
       },
       {
        "question": "Does love exist in this world? I will never understand what love is.",
        "description": "I do not understand what the love of family is, or what the love of friendship is. I also do not understand what the love of romantic relationships is. I no longer expect anyone to love me because I am not good and I also do not know how to love others. Therefore, I will never understand what love is... For some people, the meaning of life is to have no love at all.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotional regulation, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, listening to your description, I feel sorry for you. I can sense that you have a deep desire for love, to be loved by others, and to be able to love others. It is like the seed of love sprouting within you. 01. Feeling a lack of love may be because the love is not as strong. People have different expectations when it comes to love. Some need to feel happy through being loved and loving others, while for some, love is only enough to keep themselves alive. The environment in which a person is born and grows up is like soil. Some people land in fertile soil, while others land in barren soil. However, even in the barren soil, there is still some sustenance for survival. I don't know what you have experienced, maybe as you said, the environment did not make you feel more love. But the fact that you have grown up shows that this seed within you is resilient. Did anyone praise you during your growth? Did anyone care about you? It could be someone familiar, someone you happened to meet, or even strangers like us, who all hope to see you become happy. 02. Feeling like you are not good enough may be influenced by the environment. After a baby is born, all their needs are provided by the primary caregiver. As they grow older, their needs increase. However, when the primary caregiver fails to meet the baby's needs in a timely manner, the baby may develop thoughts like \"Am I not good enough? Is it because of me that they didn't meet my needs?\" Another common phenomenon is when parents argue or when the family experiences unexpected changes, people around might vent their emotions and say it's all your fault. But in reality, it is just an emotional expression, and it truly has nothing to do with a child. 03. The ability to love can also change. You mentioned that you may never understand love, but as long as you start to face this issue and take care of yourself first, filling up your own cup of love little by little, then you can nourish others. Taking care of yourself can start with taking care of your physical health and then your emotional well-being. As your inner strength grows, you naturally gain the ability to accept others' emotions, which is a form of expressing love. You can also seek professional help through psychological counseling to replenish your cup of love more quickly. 04. The meaning of life is a choice and definition made by individuals with their own will. Some people live for love and to be loved. They are more suited to being teachers, social workers, and the like. Some people live to create, such as writers and artists, as well as individuals in various fields who love hands-on work and making changes. There are also people whose meaning of life is to experience. For example, cyclists or ordinary people who try to experience different lives and see each experience as a rare opportunity in life. As long as you yearn for love in your heart and learn to love yourself first, you can definitely experience a meaningful and loving life. Take it slowly! Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5399
       },
       {
        "question": "What to do when being isolated by college roommates? Worried that other classmates will also isolate me.",
        "description": "I usually like to study alone and have a personality that doesn't interfere with others. My roommate likes to gather in the dormitory. This semester, I found myself being isolated by a very popular and noisy roommate in the dormitory (she started isolating me with two other people). Specifically, when I return to the dormitory, everyone basically ignores me while they play together. I feel somewhat uncomfortable, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts and conflicts, roommates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear~ Sometimes we care too much about other people's opinions or their approval of ourselves. But the most important thing is to ask yourself, do you enjoy being alone? Let me share a hypothetical story to ponder: In college, there were four roommates. One of them relished solitude, spending her time in the library, studying, working part-time, and exploring the world. Another roommate was outgoing and effortlessly made friends, always surrounded by a group of people. They spent their days forming small cliques, doing little else. However, after graduation, the introverted person interned at a Fortune 500 company and crossed paths with successful professionals. On the other hand, the other roommates didn't plan their careers well and felt lost in life after graduation, unsure of their direction or desires. So, compared to the others, do you think being alone isn't actually so bad? Concentrate on your long-term goals and future plans. Why bother concerning yourself with these few individuals? Turn around, and there are billions of people behind you. I believe that if what I mentioned above is true, you won't have time to worry about others' opinions!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Sending you a warm hug;) Indeed, being isolated by roommates is a very uncomfortable thing, and I can truly understand your feelings, and also feel that you actually want to establish a good relationship with them. For this, let's try the following methods. Since you mentioned that you are someone who is accustomed to being alone, I think this may have given others the wrong signal, making them think that you \"do not want to socialize.\" So, let's communicate directly with your roommates, express your thoughts and attitude to them. This way, we can avoid misunderstandings between each other. On the other hand, we can actively express our desire to make friends through actions, and make our attitude known. It is the same with classmates in the class. Maintain a positive mindset~ Try not to let these things affect our mood when dealing with other matters.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10951
       },
       {
        "question": "I always feel very suppressed and want to escape when faced with problems, what should I do?",
        "description": "Time passes day by day, but there is always something stuck in my heart, always feeling suppressed and unable to truly smile. I am already in my twenties, but I always feel like I haven't grown up and don't want to. When faced with problems, I always want to escape and keep thinking about it. How can I truly let go of everything and forgive myself?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, sharing and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "#Always feeling very depressed, wanting to escape when faced with something, what should I do?#Is it because of the environment that you can't handle situations no matter how hard you try? #Time keeps passing day by day, yet there always seems to be something lingering in your mind. #Regarding the \"stuck\" mentioned in this paragraph, is it caused by someone in your environment or is it related to multiple people? #Feeling constantly depressed makes it difficult to genuinely laugh. #Your emotions are reminding you that your mental state is not good. And if you cannot resolve the \"stuck\" on your own, then escaping is a normal human reaction. Because if you can't face it, all you can do is avoid it. Do you need methods or suggestions to deal with the \"stuck\"? If you need help, you can message me privately.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1741
       },
       {
        "question": "A boy says he likes me, but is afraid of breaking up and unwilling to be together? Is this a mindset of a scumbag?",
        "description": "It has been about a month since we met through a blind date. We have gone out together three or four times, held hands and hugged, but we haven't defined our relationship. When I try to guide him, he says, \"It's not that I don't like you, but I'm afraid that I will be the one who gets dumped in the end, so I want to continue developing things.\" Is this kind of mindset indicative of a scumbag man?",
        "keywords": "Love, single, sense of security, liking.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. OP met someone of the opposite sex through a blind date, and the person is interested in you but is unwilling to enter a relationship because they are afraid of getting rejected. OP is confused by their behavior. There could be two possible reasons for their actions. First, they might genuinely be afraid of rejection, so they are hesitant to start a new relationship because they may have been hurt before and are being cautious about their feelings. Second, they may not actually want to start a new relationship and are using it as an excuse. Currently, you are in a state of uncertainty, which only benefits them and has no drawbacks. They really enjoy this phase. This person may not necessarily be a bad person, but they do lack commitment. It is unfair for OP to be unsure about being in a relationship. It is suggested that OP communicates openly with them and gives them two options: either commit to being together or end all contact. OP should strive to protect their own rights. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2080
       },
       {
        "question": "Boyfriends may not understand us as well as our girlfriends do. What is the purpose of having a boyfriend?",
        "description": "It seems that we really like to discuss our personal matters with our sisters, who can understand us. However, our boyfriends seem to not understand us. So what is the purpose of having a boyfriend then?",
        "keywords": "Love, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Your question reminds me of why we need intimate relationships. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, after we meet our physiological and safety needs, we have a need for a sense of belonging, and intimate relationships fulfill that need. Intimate relationships are fundamental because humans are social beings with a need for belonging. We need love and to be loved, and the quality of our intimate relationships has significant impacts on both our physical and mental health. Whether your intimate relationship is with a man or a woman depends on your own choice, and there is a significant difference between friendship and an intimate relationship, inherent in their nature.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 147,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 147,
            "end": 192,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First and foremost, there will inevitably be differences between boys and girls in terms of physiological interests, hobbies, and habits. It is important to acknowledge and understand these differences. Even though there may be moments when you feel powerless around him, if he is willing to put in effort for you and can assist you in certain situations, despite having numerous reasons not to like him, you should be able to identify his positive qualities. When it comes to matters of the heart, no one can make decisions for you. Only you know what kind of emotions you truly desire.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10649
       },
       {
        "question": "What should one do when faced with a difficult and unhappy marriage due to being with the wrong person?",
        "description": "My wife and I didn't get along well before we got married. We only saw each other once every 1-2 weeks and we always had nothing to talk about. She is different from other girls, she rarely checks her WeChat and Moments. Sometimes when I send her a message, she either doesn't reply or takes several hours to reply. Despite all this, we still got married because she has good character and decent conditions. I thought we would become closer after marriage, but it turns out that our relationship has become even more painful. We can never be intimate with each other. I feel like she has no feelings for romantic relationships. At night, I like to cuddle while sleeping, but she says she can't fall asleep and always turns her back to me out of habit. She always locks the door when using the bathroom, as if she's afraid I will enter. I tell her I won't, but she insists on locking it anyway. Is it necessary for a husband and wife to be like this? Anyway, she will never make any intimate gestures towards me. It's been over a year since we got married, and we sleep in separate rooms about 3/4 of the time, and she doesn't seem to have any objection. It's probably hard to find a couple as odd as us. I think about divorce every day, but she is already pregnant, so it's really painful.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concepts of marriage, divorce, marital management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! This is a topic about \"how to turn wrong decisions into correct outcomes.\" It is evident in your relationship that there is a lack of passion and enthusiasm from start to finish. However, without any sweet additives in shared life, long-term coexistence will inevitably be accompanied by dullness, leading to either a dissatisfied separation or spending the rest of your lives without any ripple. Marriage is one of the significant events in life and brings about explicit transformations for both parties involved. Most people approach this matter with caution and choose a partner who matches them within their range of options. Few people would deliberately choose someone they can't get along with as a long-term partner, even though they have the freedom to decide. Before marriage, if you can't get along well and lack topics of conversation, it is already a clear sign of \"incompatibility.\" It is unheard of for any successful union to start off with a cold relationship and then achieve harmony and intimacy through the binding of marriage. Locking the bathroom door is a personal habit and has nothing to do with whether or not you have a close relationship. Therefore, it's unnecessary to interpret it as a defense against you and make a fuss about closeness and not locking the door while using the toilet. It seems a bit childish. Besides, it is all about biological excretion, there is nothing to be curious about. She has good character and favorable conditions, honestly speaking, these are her assets, not yours. In other words, it seems that she holds the power of choice between the two of you. If she doesn't want to talk, she can choose not to. If she doesn't want to sleep together, she can choose to sleep in a separate room. Your communication and interaction patterns do not synchronize. When you feel miserable in married life and consider ending the relationship, unfortunately, the power of choice still doesn't lie with you because you mentioned that she is pregnant. Article 34 of the Marriage Law stipulates that during the pregnancy, within one year after childbirth, or within six months after termination of pregnancy, the husband cannot file for divorce. If the wife requests a divorce or the People's Court deems it necessary to accept the husband's divorce petition, this limitation does not apply. If you want to divorce now, she has to initiate it. Otherwise, according to the normal procedure, you have to wait until your child is one year old to be eligible to file for divorce. However, ending your suffering does not necessarily require ending the marriage. The key skill to make a marriage sustainable and stable lies in understanding how to manage it. She has her personality traits, lifestyle habits, and her own space. Likewise, you also have these aspects. Mutual respect is essential. She possesses the character traits and conditions that you value, but do you know what she values? Do you possess those qualities? Do you have any advantages over her? Can you utilize these advantages to gain a certain degree of dominance in the marriage relationship? Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello! Seeing these words is like seeing you in person, carefully listening to your story, feeling the long-standing turmoil in your intimate relationship, and feeling deeply helpless about your wife's behavior. [Hope to help you sort out the phenomena to discover opportunities for change]-Before getting married, you had already noticed that your wife was distant in your interactions: low frequency of meetings, few common topics, slow or no response on social media. -You observed these behaviors of your wife but still chose to marry her because you felt that she had good character and good conditions. There is nothing wrong with this, but it seems that you overlooked the fact that a harmonious and happy marriage requires deep and meaningful communication. -At the same time, based on your observations of the problem, you did not help your wife further think and explore her attitude towards intimate relationships and the possible reasons behind her distant behavior. -After getting married, you noticed even more that your wife seems to have no feelings towards romantic relationships. She has a different sleeping position than you, locks the bathroom door, has no intimate gestures with you, and often sleeps in separate rooms without any objections. -This constantly makes you endure the feeling of being \"close strangers\" in your marriage, and you strongly doubt your own value, especially now that your wife is pregnant, which makes you agonize over whether to divorce or not. [We need to take action regarding intimate relationships]-To have a healthy and mature intimate relationship, a key point between men and women is to \"express oneself actively and reduce suspicion.\" If you want the other person to meet your expectations, you need to express your feelings and expectations proactively based on what you observe. Start your conversations with phrases like \"Wife, I feel that you seem to... and I hope we can...\". -To have an ideal partner, you should not enter into a marriage with the intention of changing the other person, but with the attitude of \"influencing others with your own life.\" We can hardly control others, but we have the opportunity to influence others. Take the details of your daily interactions as an opportunity to \"practice being a lover\" and gradually correct each other's behavior that may have issues and confusion. -As a reliable man, I wonder if you can approach your wife's behavioral confusion with an attitude of \"empathetic reflection\" and try to understand the growth experiences she may not have expressed to you. This may include her difficulties, past traumas, and the distant upbringing style of her parents towards her, etc. This is worth considering. -Lastly, and most importantly, for a wife who is already pregnant, I think you wouldn't want to give up on your child. Therefore, only by actively facing the problems in the relationship and giving yourself and your wife a chance to change, can you avoid regretting impulsive decisions in the future. I hope you do not rush to make regrettable decisions without figuring out the confusion. -In addition, if you find it difficult to escape from this turmoil on your own, I strongly recommend seeking help from a professional and reliable marriage and family counselor. With the counselor's involvement, you can support your communication more effectively and orderly, so that the problems in your marriage become opportunities to enhance intimacy. I hope my humble advice can provide you with some inspiration and help. I wish you happiness soon!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is normal for someone who is not familiar with psychology to feel extremely distressed by your wife's attitude towards you. If we analyze this from a psychological perspective, your wife may be in a state of emotional defense and isolation in intimate relationships. It is not only towards you, but may also stem from not being treated correctly in her childhood family or early interpersonal relationships, which has led to her remaining guarded and alert towards people and situations. On the other hand, you are someone who strongly desires emotional and intimate relationships. Your wife's distance and lack of trust make you feel uncomfortable. Some of her behaviors can be understood more, for example, when she uses the restroom, if she doesn't close the door, she feels extremely anxious, fearing someone will intrude. Even if you assure her that you won't enter, subconsciously she still feels like someone could burst in at any moment, so closing the door makes her feel secure. If you cuddle to sleep at night, it keeps her in a constant state of tension, causing her to have difficulty falling asleep. Not responding to or reading messages puts her in a passive state during interpersonal interactions. There are actually many couples like you. According to attachment theory, your wife may have an avoidant attachment style, which is the most common attachment style and even surpasses other attachment styles. What should you do in this situation? Divorce is not the solution, especially since your wife is already pregnant. Firstly, respect some of your wife's habits and slowly build her sense of security. Help her relax more and give her some space, so she can trust you more. Then, in daily life, show her subtle acts of intimacy. Use humor and jokes to break down her inner barriers. Gradually bridge the gap between you two and eliminate her alertness and defensive mindset. Only when the heart is engaged can people come closer! I wish you happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend: From your words, I can feel your helplessness and pain. Before we fully grow up, we always yearn for the love of the people around us, hoping that the people around us have this ability to make us feel loved. However, this desire hinders our growth and also hinders this relationship. The desire to maintain intimacy is undeniable. Maybe you feel lonely or insecure. But you can only wait in place without the right to control, and because of this, you feel very disappointed and frustrated. So you really want a divorce. Or maybe your marriage needs to take a step forward. [First], share your vulnerability. You can share your feelings of loneliness with your wife. Maybe she will still reject you and continue to sleep in separate rooms, but at least your inner vulnerability will be released and she will have recognition and understanding of your feelings. [Second], understand each other's limitations. In fact, your wife does not not love you, but she also has her own limitations. Even under the same roof, she cannot fill your emptiness. From the beginning, the idea of functionality I proposed means that you see her as something to fill your emptiness and loneliness. Similarly, you are also a human being. You need to be loved and not treated coldly. You cannot be seen as an item placed here. It is this emptiness that exists because of the limitations of each other's abilities, which makes you feel lost. [Third], rely on a greater power. You can calm down and feel the universe, because the love it gives you is complete and can fill the regrets in relationships between people. And its power is always there, inexhaustible, and unconditional. Feel this power and experience the warmth of motherly love again. [Fourth], accompany yourself and develop your own interests. Interests, other interesting things, can also bring you the experience of being loved, not necessarily from a relationship. You can try to develop your own interests, feel nurtured, and feel accompanied. [Fifth], intimate relationships ultimately involve being the best version of yourself individually. In fact, your wife also lacks a sense of security and is afraid of losing herself in an intimate relationship. If you push her too close, she will be afraid and avoid you. Forgive your wife's limitations, and forgive your own limitations. Accept and respect yourself, and also accept and respect your wife. You should know that love is not about changing the other person, nor is it about using the other person to fill something within yourself. Love is about feeling the love that comes from everything, including the love that comes from yourself, and then sharing that love with others. I hope you and your wife can get through this difficult time together! Your friend, Audrey ---------------------------------------------- Unity, love, respect, forgiveness. \u2665",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Honey, give you a kiss and a hug. I see that you and your wife have a hard time feeling intimate in your relationship, and you feel that she is distant from you, so you feel very uncomfortable. I can see that before you got married, you didn't feel very intimate with each other, you didn't meet often, and you didn't reply to messages on WeChat very often either. However, you still chose to get married. I wonder if you had a conversation about the purpose of getting married before? Why did you choose to be together? Your thoughts were that she had good conditions and a good character, so you wanted to give it a try, but what did she think? Have you ever understood her thoughts? From a utilitarian perspective, relationships are a process of fulfilling each other's needs. Your need is intimacy, but she finds it difficult to fulfill. What is her need then? Have you ever understood her views on marriage and your needs? Couples are actually a whole, living together and facing the difficulties of life together. You can talk about your concerns with her and discuss her needs, and see how you can adjust in the future. If it's not suitable and you feel that neither of your needs can be fulfilled, then consider divorce. Lastly, you mentioned that your wife is already pregnant. I hope you can make cautious decisions and not let the child become an excuse to bind you. It's also irresponsible to let a child grow up in an unhappy family! I hope I can help you, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! I can sense your distress. You want to establish an intimate relationship with your wife, but her behavior in this relationship creates a sense of distance for you. You don't know how to handle your relationship with her. It's clear that you really like your wife, even though you recognize that you both have many differences. You choose to be understanding and see the attractive qualities in your wife. However, as time goes on, the differences in your lives as a married couple slowly become magnified, which has left you feeling troubled. You mentioned that your wife is different from other girls, as she rarely uses WeChat or posts on Moments (a social media feature in China). Sometimes, she doesn't reply to your WeChat messages or takes hours to respond. It's evident that your wife doesn't enjoy communicating with others and doesn't make an effort to maintain online social interactions. At night, you like to cuddle while sleeping, but she says she can't fall asleep and always turns away from you. She also always locks the bathroom door when using it. It seems your wife lacks a sense of security and likes to keep herself tightly wrapped up. These behaviors from your wife make you feel that your relationship is distant and you are tired of this state. Acceptance and mutual understanding are essential for a marriage. You and your wife just have different personalities. You desire intimacy, while your wife may not be ready for it yet. From your description, it's apparent that your wife is not good at expressing emotions, which makes you feel that she is indifferent. First of all, accept your wife as she is and try to see things from her perspective. Generally, a person's personality is influenced by their upbringing, so understanding her experiences can help you comprehend her better and give her more care. Take it slow and give her some time. Building intimacy in a short period is difficult for her as she has become accustomed to an independent life and hasn't fully transitioned from being alone. To protect herself, she may resist contact with others. Take it slow and give her some time. Start by strengthening your communication and gradually building intimacy. Communication in a marriage requires joint effort. Since you're facing issues in your relationship, it's important to solve them together. Find a suitable time to have a heartfelt talk with your wife and express your concerns. Each person has a different way of expressing emotions and fears. Try to understand each other and discuss ways to improve. You can take the initiative in everyday life to reassure your wife, to make her feel protected and safe at home, and gradually open up her heart. I wish you can get rid of your troubles as soon as possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, first I want to give you a big hug~ The main issue you are currently facing is: How to deal with the distance between you and your wife? Based on your description: \"She is different from other women, rarely checking WeChat and Moments. Sometimes, when I send her a message, she either doesn't reply or takes hours to respond.\" \"I like to cuddle when sleeping, but she says she can't sleep and always turns her back to me out of habit.\" \"She always locks the bathroom door as if she is afraid that I will come in. I told her that I won't, but she insists on locking it.\" Your wife seems to be independent but lacking a sense of security. Humans are social beings who need socializing and communication, as well as affirmation and recognition from others, which is why people tend to talk with others. Your wife appears to not pay much attention to this aspect and maintains her own characteristics, indicating that she has a strong inner world and may prioritize spiritual communication. Therefore, your wife may yearn for a deeper connection in the spiritual realm rather than just physical intimacy. However, this is only one possibility based on limited information, and a thorough understanding requires more communication between you and your wife. From your description, it seems that you have an accepting attitude towards your wife but feel that the relationship is lacking excitement. In regard to this, you can express your thoughts to your wife and discuss her thoughts as well. You can also share your expectations, such as ways to celebrate anniversaries or improve your relationship. Looking at it from another perspective, you may not have provided enough security for your wife. In the upcoming days, you can pay closer attention to your wife's daily life, immerse yourself in her world, and actively participate in each other's lives. If you have the time and energy, you can also prepare surprises for your wife (assuming you know her preferences well), engage in meaningful activities together, and more. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title holder~ sigh~ How should I put it. Let me talk about my feelings, hoping to bring you some thoughts: Have you talked to your wife? You mentioned that in your opinion, you got married because she has good character and conditions are not bad. But why did she? Why did she marry you if it seems like she has no interest in you at all? In your description, you have been talking about your feelings, but what about her feelings? What are the reasons behind her behavior? Without knowing her feelings and opening up the knots in her heart, it would be difficult for your relationship to develop further. So my advice to you is: have a good long talk with her. She is pregnant. My suggestion is to have a good conversation before deciding whether or not to have a child. Don't let the child be born into an unhappy family just because of a moment of weakness or compromise. At that time, you got married out of compromise, which led to the problems in your marriage now. So, you can't just compromise again. Try to solve your current issues as much as possible before the baby is born. It is indeed very hot to sleep while cuddling, making it difficult to fall asleep. At least personally, I don't sleep cuddling with my partner. So, as I said, there are reasons behind various behaviors, and only by understanding the reasons can you prescribe the right medicine. Have a good talk with your wife, and I hope you can resolve the problem as soon as possible, allowing the baby to be born in a loving family.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5305
       },
       {
        "question": "The primary school teacher's physical and verbal abuse left a deep emotional scar on me, causing me to feel inferior and lacking in self-confidence.",
        "description": "The homeroom teacher in elementary school, although not tall, is particularly fierce. He often physically assaults students, punching and kicking them. During that time, my parents got divorced, and I didn't want to study, so I deliberately misbehaved and caused trouble. As a result, I became the target of the homeroom teacher's attention. He often physically abused and verbally scolded me, kicking my bottom and twisting my ears. He called me a troublemaker and said I would be like this for the rest of my life, which has led to my long-lasting low self-esteem.",
        "keywords": "Therapy, psychological counseling, trauma treatment.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give you a hug. Indeed, teachers have a significant impact on children. When you encounter an irritable teacher at the beginning of your learning, it can have a negative effect on yourself. The fact that you can realize this and recognize your own feelings of inferiority may already be a positive signal, indicating that you have the potential to change. Firstly, the environment does have a great impact on us. When you were young, you faced great setbacks, both in terms of family issues and the temper of the teacher, which made you feel very uncomfortable and unforgettable until now. However, the environment is not the determining factor for a person's development, especially their abilities. Ultimately, what kind of person you become is decided by yourself. In other words, it is determined by your subjective initiative. What kind of person do you want to become? Read more books and learn from the people around you. Find the aspects you want to learn from them, then actively accept the influence of those things. As you grow older, perhaps the past pain and childhood sorrow will transform into a treasure that motivates you to move forward.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20854
       },
       {
        "question": "How to look at the harm suffered in activities that are participated in together with others?",
        "description": "I voluntarily signed up for an activity with two other people. Each person had their own tasks to do, and initially, everyone agreed to their responsibilities. I was in charge of the images, while the other person was responsible for checking and making changes. Not only did they have a bad attitude when speaking, but even after communicating with them politely and attentively, they still asked me in a rude manner as if they couldn't understand simple things that were obvious to everyone. It's not a big deal, maybe they thought I was the one issuing tasks from the higher-ups and that I had more information. However, they kept saying that they couldn't do any task and asked me directly to do it for them. They also criticized my image editing, saying it wasn't up to standard, so they couldn't make any changes. Honestly, I couldn't control my thoughts anymore. I started to wonder if they were given too many tasks, and if they were venting their frustration through this behavior, or if they thought I had no abilities and questioned why I was assigning tasks. Of course, I know this is just my subjective imagination. Nevertheless, their attitude and behavior truly hurt me.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts and disputes, personal boundaries, empathy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "When there are disagreements during team collaboration, it is normal because everyone has not worked together before, so it is not clear what each person's strengths and weaknesses are, and it is inevitable that there will be inappropriate division of labor. In the current situation, we can first calm our emotions because sometimes the other party is indeed being unreasonable. Don't bother others with things that can be easily found on Baidu. In life, there are often people who don't use their brains or try to find solutions. If the other party encounters any problem and instead of solving it themselves, they just throw it into the group, then we don't need such a teammate. After all, we are not afraid of opponents who are like gods, but we are afraid of teammates who are like pigs. Therefore, if the other party really cannot handle this task, we can let her choose again. If the other party continues to push excuses or blame others, we can discuss it with another teammate and ask for her opinion and thoughts. If necessary, we can complete it together with the other party or, if there is time and opportunity, form a new team. 2. Identify which problems are our own and which ones the other party is trying to avoid. We can conduct a simple analysis to see which mistakes are ours and which are caused by the other party's lack of seriousness. Also, observe her interaction pattern and attitude toward the other teammate to determine if she behaves this way towards everyone or is deliberately targeting us. Identify the root of the problem and find a way to solve it. We can reassign tasks, try to coordinate internally first, and if it is really unsuitable, we shouldn't rush. If it is the other person's personal problem, changing teams will just bring about new problems. If the assignment is truly unreasonable, then we can redistribute it properly. Don't let other people's mistakes hurt ourselves. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand your frustration and anger towards your ability to handle the job. Your coworker seems to be incapable of handling her responsibilities, which is causing her to feel restless and emotional, but it has nothing to do with you. I recommend practicing open communication so that you can express your feelings honestly and feel more at ease. For instance, you can say something like, \"I can see that you're feeling anxious and eager to perform well. However, when you rush me, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I hope we can communicate patiently and work together efficiently to solve problems and improve our collaboration.\" You can use this template as a reference and practice effective communication.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2218
       },
       {
        "question": "My 15-year-old cousin has begun a relationship with a troublemaking boyfriend of the same age and has run away from home twice. What should I do?",
        "description": "My 15-year-old cousin, due to careless friendships, has associated herself with thuggish classmates and a boyfriend, and has run away from home twice, living with her boyfriend for a week. Now she has developed a reluctance to study. She has only one more year before the high school entrance exam. Is there any way to help her get back on track?",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth, child growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "15 years old is indeed a rebellious age, so we need to first understand the cousin's upbringing environment, and then slowly guide her back on the right track. 1. What did the boyfriend provide her that made her disregard everything else? Many parents have a very negative impression of troublemakers, and every time they see their children with the other person, they are truly furious. Especially for parents who care about their reputation, their ways of preventing their children's association may be extreme, either completely cutting off contact or cutting off their financial resources. Therefore, we need to first clarify how the cousin views her boyfriend and what attitude she has towards him. If he truly likes her and treats her with enough respect, and even provides her with meticulous care, we must not have a biased perspective; we need to analyze comprehensively. In reality, children are sometimes simple; they are not as complicated as adults. They just hope to have someone who can listen to their thoughts, think from their perspective, and help them analyze problems, instead of forcing them to do things. 2. The parents' attitude is particularly important. If the parents' communication with the child always starts with \"I have given you the best material life, so you should study harder and not disappoint the efforts we put in\", then this kind of communication is meaningless. Therefore, we need to first have a conversation with the cousin's parents to see how they handle education in everyday life. We can also have a chat with the cousin to see what she thinks. Then, after considering all the circumstances, we can conduct a simple analysis, so that they have a basis for communication. This process will definitely be lengthy and will require a lot of effort from everyone involved. Therefore, we need to be prepared for a prolonged battle, learn to understand and tolerate each other, and learn to empathize. The world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is clear that you are very concerned and worried about your cousin's \"future,\" and I believe that her family and loved ones share the same concern. The behaviors you mentioned, which deviate from the \"right path,\" often occur during adolescence and serve as signals and reflections of the difficulties teenagers face in terms of family relationships, academics, interpersonal relationships, and school adaptation. Sometimes, these behaviors can be directly linked to significant life events such as parental divorce or major losses. Therefore, the first thing her parents (or primary caregivers/guardians) need to do is examine what happened in the family or school before and after these behaviors occurred. Only by adjusting the family functioning (parents' mental and behavioral patterns, family and parent-child relationships, parenting styles, etc.) is there a chance to change the child's inner experience and self-awareness, thus leading to different behavioral choices. This is a systematic process that needs to start with parental introspection. Otherwise, relying on some external force (like a magical method) to hope that the child will \"return to the right path\" is risky and unlikely to succeed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, what can be the response of her parents to these behaviors of her cousin? What state was she in when she first befriended the troublemaking classmate and boyfriend? You can try to communicate with her to understand the feelings she had towards the troublemaking classmate and boyfriend. It is difficult to give direct advice here, as much information about her is needed. You can make an appointment for a consultation if necessary. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In American English:\n\nWho knows what the right path is in this world? When we were young, we used to walk through fields of wheat, listening to the sounds of insects around us. We would pass by bamboo forests, hearing the sounds of bamboo growing, and walk by the mountainside, greeted by the smiling faces of trees. We would spend the whole day outside, not knowing when to return home. When we got hungry, it was easy to find something to eat - sour jujubes, wild apricots, walnuts. And when we were thirsty, there was always a small stream nearby. We used to be afraid of the dark at night, so naturally, we would go home. It was the darkness that allowed our body and soul to rest together. The concept of illness was almost non-existent. However, now children are constantly being vaccinated, constantly drinking water, constantly consuming various foods for nourishment. One group of mentally ill people creates another group of physically ill people. These illnesses interact with and differ from each other, striving to make everyone sick, and they call it \"ideal.\" Staying up late, hanging out at bars, the flashy lights, and the lure of wealth and pleasure are all incompatible with the human body. Can you say that there won't be illnesses? Nowadays, problems begin with parents and then affect children. Let's search for the reasons starting from the parents.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11189
       },
       {
        "question": "Even small things can make one anxious, what should be done if someone is particularly prone to anxiety?",
        "description": "Even a small thing can make oneself feel irritable and restless, and when faced with sudden events, one may cry and be unable to explain. Recently, I have also noticed that when alone, those awkward moments that happened before occasionally flash in my mind, and I uncontrollably make sounds like \"no, oh...\" I have tried meditating to relieve these symptoms, but perhaps due to lack of consistency, the effect is minimal.",
        "keywords": "Growing up, developing one's character, personality traits, and self-improvement.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner: It seems like you are experiencing unbearable pain due to anxiety, is that correct? I am not aware of your age. Are you a male friend or a female friend? When did the intense anxiety begin? I wonder if the current anxiety is affecting your sleep and daily work-life? When it comes to using meditation to alleviate anxiety, it requires long-term training. Generally speaking, normal feelings of anxiety have a positive function as they can help us deal with crises, maintain a sense of alertness, and protect us in challenging environments. Furthermore, moderate anxiety can drive us to be more efficient and motivated. However, if someone has an anxiety disorder due to excessively sensitive personality traits, it is a different matter. Generally speaking, treating severe anxiety involves evaluating a person's personality traits and identifying sources of stress. If anxiety is linked to a person's personality traits, psychoanalysis may be considered for systematic treatment. If anxiety is related to real-life stress, short-term cognitive-behavioral therapy may be considered. Additionally, practicing diaphragmatic breathing and progressive muscle relaxation training can also help alleviate anxiety. Mindfulness, introspection, meditation, yoga, and other practices can also be used therapeutically after a period of training. However, everyone's personality traits and family background are different, so the chosen treatment methods may vary. Given the limited understanding of your situation, the above analysis is for reference only.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2412
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I delete the photos in the old photo album that I am hesitant about? Is it repetitive action?",
        "description": "I am a person who especially likes taking photos, it's actually not bad. I am sensitive. I like to take photos of beautiful scenery. But I don't know if I have some perfectionism, I want to capture anything beautiful. And I want to document my beautiful life from various angles, finding the most beautiful perspective. Sometimes I even feel disappointed when the effect is not what I expected. Later, I tell myself that there are many beautiful things and many worth remembering, I don't have to capture everything. I have a hard time choosing and I'm indecisive when selecting photos at home. I want to keep them all, but then I feel like I've burdened myself too much, as there are too many beautiful things, should I document every one of them? I hesitate to delete them. Deleting them would bring relief, but I am reluctant to do so. Deleting would make me feel lighter, but keeping them all feels heavy. I upload them all to the cloud, but then realize that the photo album is empty, and I am afraid of mixing the recovered ones with newly taken ones. It's so confusing. When I'm playing, I think of the album, when I'm walking, I think of organizing the album. I delete and recover, delete and recover. I rely on my intuition to judge whether to keep this photo or not. Is this a disease? What should I do? I despise the emptiness of the album, so I recover some of the previously deleted photos. I'm afraid to take photos now. Taking too many photos makes me feel heavy, is it because of perfectionism? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, confusion, chaos.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Guess. Deleting or not deleting may just be a matter of action. You also described how you felt when you were struggling with whether or not to delete the rain in the mountains. But there may be an important reason behind this. What does deleting or not deleting mean to you? Or what happened and how did you feel when you first realized that you had this situation?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10237
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I motivate myself to make progress? Does buying gifts as a self-motivation work?",
        "description": "Lack of motivation and drive due to a lack of ambition. I've heard that buying gifts can motivate oneself, is this effective? Are there any other methods?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, laziness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Is buying gifts enough to motivate oneself? It seems that some people can be motivated and more willing to make efforts under the motivation of gifts. However, such external motivation is very short-lived and can easily cause a loss of interest in learning or work itself. In the book \"Drive\", it is mentioned that material rewards such as promotions and salary increases are temporary and ineffective when it comes to creative work. Personally, a lack of drive is likely because you haven't found something you truly love, or you have been severely frustrated by studying and working in the past, or you simply haven't mastered the method of making progress, or you haven't experienced the sense of achievement that comes from hard work paying off. So, how can one enhance their drive? First, find something you truly enjoy doing and have the potential to excel at, let that passion become your internal drive. Second, turn drive into a habit. There are many books on developing habits, such as \"The Power of Habit\", which I recommend you study for methods. Then, set a goal, use the loop of \"goal, cue, feedback\" to develop a habit of making progress. Third, cultivate a sense of responsibility. In fact, drive often has to do with a sense of responsibility. You need to be responsible for the people close to you, your work, and the people you collaborate with. You also need to be responsible for yourself, so you need to better fulfill tasks and provide value to others and yourself. Drive is a trait that everyone has and needs to explore and cultivate, and it requires internal motivation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21465
       },
       {
        "question": "I keep dreaming that I haven't studied for exams and haven't completed my assignments. How can I relieve anxiety?",
        "description": "Every night, I dream about anxious and stressful things, such as having an exam without studying, or starting school without completing assignments (I am already working). In my dreams, I often wander repeatedly in dark corridors. I frequently wake up in the middle of the night, finding my hands tightly clenched with thumbs tucked inside, feeling extremely anxious. Meditation helps me fall asleep quickly, but my sleep quality is poor. How can I alleviate this?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety emotions, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, my dear, sending you a hug. After reading your description, I can see that even though you have started working, you still have dreams about unfinished school tasks, which are causing poor sleep and severe anxiety. I really understand and sympathize with your current situation. Based on what you've said, it seems that your recent feelings of nervousness and anxiety may be due to high work pressure or some minor setbacks in life that are difficult for you to forget. This has resulted in bringing this anxiety into what should be a restful sleep. If you feel that this situation is seriously affecting your work and personal life, it is important to seek medical treatment promptly to rule out the possibility of mental illness. Regarding your desire to improve the quality of your sleep, I suggest creating a quiet and comfortable sleep environment for yourself. Avoid having work-related objects, such as your phone or laptop, near you as they can remind you of work pressure. I hope this advice can be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3257
       },
       {
        "question": "An unintentional action made me feel uncomfortable, is it a sign of paranoia?",
        "description": "In the morning, his phone rang while he was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I told him his phone was ringing and he said to ignore it for now. As I was about to go see who was calling and pass him the phone, I don't know when exactly, but he quickly took the phone from behind me. Wasn't he supposed to be showering? Hahaha, is it just my excessive suspicion or is something wrong? Why do I suddenly feel uncomfortable?",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Host, good Thursday morning! I can sense that while the host appears suspicious, there is also a sense of detached humor. At the moment, there doesn't seem to be any substantial issues in this relationship. #In the morning, his phone rang while he was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I told him his phone was ringing, and he said to ignore it. I was about to go see who was calling and hand him the phone, but at some point, he had already taken the phone from behind me. Wasn't he supposed to be showering? Hahaha, is it just my excessive suspicion, or is there something else going on that makes me feel uncomfortable? It is a normal reaction for the host to feel uncomfortable because the host might think that there shouldn't be any privacy between them. However, the actual situation may be different from the host's boyfriend's perspective. Whether each person should have their own privacy, even in front of their closest person, is a question that the host and the boyfriend have to answer together. This is also one of the things you both need to work on in your future relationship. Some things exist if you believe in them, and don't exist if you don't. This principle is based on the fact that your suspicion pushes the other person towards that assumption, and that assumption confirms your suspicion. As a result, trust between the two of you becomes more distant. Some things, when you \"know\" them, should be treated as if you don't know. The other person is yours and will eventually come back. Some things do not need to be exposed and talked about, because in the end, both parties will be harmed. This is another level of conducting oneself. The host's current problem may not necessarily be related to this, but I'm saying all this just to express that each person interprets, handles, and reaches different levels of understanding regarding a behavior or an event. Right? I believe that someone as smart as you understands these principles. Managing a relationship is like planting a big tree, it's not something that can be completed in a day or two or through a single action. It requires little by little, slowly experiencing, sincerely expressing, and caring wholeheartedly. That's it. Best wishes to you! The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15029
       },
       {
        "question": "Someone wants to maliciously expel me from school, what should I do?",
        "description": "The teacher wants to maliciously expel me because I have experienced verbal violence on campus. Every night during evening study, they shout and curse outside the classroom. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, conflicts and disputes",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Are you sure the teacher was scolding you? Do you remember what they were scolding you about? Did any classmates hear the teacher scolding you too? If you are certain, I suggest you record the audio as evidence. Then, inform your parents about it. I believe they will help you handle this properly. As a victim of campus violence, don't be afraid. You must speak up to your parents and trustworthy individuals. In this world, no one has the right to intentionally harm others, and no one is born to be bullied. Do you understand? If the teacher is really trying to force you to drop out of school, don't fall into their trap. In the course of growing up, we will encounter kindness as well as malice. When we encounter kindness, we should be grateful and warm ourselves. When we encounter malice, we should choose to accept what is useful and block out what is not. In other words, when someone stabs us with a knife (uses hurtful words), we can choose to fight back (respond in kind) or choose to ignore it (remove the knife and heal ourselves). But never pull out the knife and stab ourselves (get upset, sad, regretful, blame ourselves, self-harm, etc.).",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 34,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 34,
            "end": 107,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 107,
            "end": 144,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 144,
            "end": 187,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 187,
            "end": 327,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10461
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know how to establish an emotional connection with the world, what should I do?",
        "description": "I am a high school student. This issue has been bothering me for several years. I feel like I have no emotional connection with this world. I am always a serious person and the topics I discuss with others are always about studying and planning. Most of my social interactions are with teachers because I call them once a week to do something like a work report and discuss the feasibility of some plans. I am more familiar with the path to success, but my relationships with classmates are a bit awkward. Although my classmates trust my problem-solving abilities, no one wants to spend time with me. It feels like we only talk about business matters and there is no emotional exchange. I am studying abroad, so I only call my parents once every few months because they are only interested in hearing about my academic progress and not my personal life. No one cares about how I feel or what I think, which makes me feel exhausted. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, interpersonal boundaries, empathy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! The phrase \"how to establish an emotional connection with the world\" is quite abstract. People are the world and the world is people, so what we are actually discussing is how to establish an emotional connection with others. The statement \"the essence of interpersonal relationships is the exchange of social value\" may sound cold, but what is social value? And what is self-worth? These questions have been debated by humans for thousands of years without a definitive answer. Why? Because these questions themselves don't have answers. Some people are willing to spend a month's salary to attend a concert of their favorite celebrity because, in their heart, the value of meeting that celebrity is much higher than their own hard work for a month. So you see, some values cannot be measured. Artificial intelligence can defeat all the top Go players in the world but it cannot even tell a joke. This clearly demonstrates that human emotions are the most complex and precious. The biggest problem with utilitarianism is that it only emphasizes results and overlooks the process, overlooking the emotions that humans possess as humans. The reason why we are human is that our ancestors were \"wise humans,\" we have free will, and we have complex and diverse emotions. Kant said: \"Man is an end in itself, not a means.\" Jung said: \"The least significant but meaningful things in life are more valuable than the greatest but meaningless things.\" Have you ever thought about why we strive to study? We strive to study to have a better life experience, but if we lose the beautiful life experience because of studying, isn't that a paradox? \"No one cares about my feelings, no one cares about my thoughts, and it makes me feel tired. What should I do?\" Interpersonal relationships are mutual. If you want to receive care from others, then you must first learn to care about others' feelings and thoughts. As a high school student, it should be easy to understand the concept of putting oneself in another person's shoes, right? In fact, from a certain perspective, there is a subtle \"opposition\" relationship between teachers and students, just like most people would be happy when they know they don't have to go to school on vacation. Being too close to teachers will instinctively cause classmates to \"distance\" themselves from you. Many times, right and wrong are not absolute but relative. Occasionally making small mistakes when being with classmates can increase trust and friendship. Take some time to participate in social activities, interact with peers more, listen to their thoughts, even if they may be different from yours, but accepting others with a \"gentlemanly harmony and difference\" attitude may be the beginning of a wonderful relationship. I wish you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Topics of conversation with others always revolve around studying and making arrangements. First of all, your understanding of conversation is incorrect. Conversations are casual, leisurely, enjoyable, and free-flowing. They have no specific purpose, are lighthearted, and filled with positive energy. These characteristics are not desirable in work communication, but they are essential in conversations. The topics you mentioned are still work-related, serious, and formal, with a sense of suppression and negativity in order to get things done. Thinking that work communication equals conversation is a cognitive error. \"I feel like I have no emotional connection with this world.\" Conversation is a social instinct that can also be developed into a skill. It is the foundation for building relationships, including family, friendship, and romantic relationships, all of which are based on conversation. Without conversation, there can be no emotional connection. Furthermore, since it is an instinct, it is as simple as eating and drinking, but because you haven't used this instinct for a long time, you have suppressed it. What you need to do is not \"learn\" to have a conversation, but to \"unleash\" it. This requires actively solving interpersonal communication problems encountered in daily life. \"Most of my social interactions are with teachers...\" These are all social interactions in the context of work, and they tend to be somewhat cold. \"I am more familiar with the paths of the higher-ups, but the relationships between classmates are a bit awkward.\" The consequence of this is becoming a workaholic and living a dull life. If life is compared to a meal, workaholics will only have plain rice while everyone else has a variety of dishes. Moreover, workaholics also use work to avoid interpersonal relationships and hobbies in real life. It is awkward between you and your classmates, but not between other classmates, because classmates give and listen to each other, and listening is also a form of giving. God has given us two ears and one mouth so that we can listen more and speak less. As long as you are willing to listen to others, the problem of conversation will be solved by 80%. Helping classmates is also a form of giving. It is evident that you have various abilities, so give more to your classmates. \"Because they only listen to my academic content and don't care about my life. Nobody cares about my feelings, nobody cares about my thoughts, it makes me feel exhausted.\" If your parents don't care about your emotions, you can't change them. In that case, let go of your dependence on them and become independent. What they can't give you, earn it yourself. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want others to care about you and your feelings and thoughts, then treat others the same way.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! Feeling lonely and helpless can indeed be awful. When you want to get close to someone, you suddenly realize that there is no one around whom you can confide in. It is often said that no man is an island, and emotional connections are important in our lives. Here are a few small suggestions that you can consider. 1. Acknowledge yourself. From your description, it is evident that you are more exceptional than most people of your age. You are familiar with working at higher levels (as a teacher), possess strong problem-solving abilities, and have good creative thinking skills (discussing plans with teachers). Your ability to communicate with teachers is also quite good. It must be said that you are truly outstanding. 2. In your description, you mentioned being a serious person. I wonder if that means you don't like to laugh, don't enjoy joking around with others, or don't take on the role of being the one who lightens the atmosphere? Strong individuals often become leaders within a group. So, imagine constantly working under a serious leader - would you also become serious? Your classmates see you this way, as more of a leader-subordinate relationship. 3. Class activities can help improve relationships between classmates. If appropriate, you can plan class activities in collaboration with teachers. This will allow everyone to participate together, fostering closer relationships and providing a chance to relax. 4. Being alone in a foreign country can make you feel detached from the outside world and disconnected from emotional connections. Parents are often the people we are closest to, so staying in touch with them is inevitable. I'm not sure if your parents are very busy, but instead of being passive, taking the initiative to regularly video chat with them and share photos of your life abroad can help them understand your life outside of school. I hope this is helpful to you. Whenever you have time, go out and explore the world. Sometimes, you may also come to appreciate the joy of being alone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Thank you for the invitation! You are a high school student who is already studying abroad alone, and you have smooth communication with your teachers. This shows that your academic situation is very good! Although you don't have much interaction with your classmates, your classmates trust you, which is really impressive! It shows that your independent way of doing things is recognized by everyone. However, why do you still have the confusion of \"no one cares about my feelings, no one cares about my thoughts, which makes me feel tired. What should I do\"? Let's analyze it together: in interpersonal communication, everyone has their own style. Some people are outgoing and enjoy interacting with others naturally. Others will contact him more actively because they know he likes to interact with others, so they don't feel like they are burdening him. People with your style, like you, may be seen as preferring to be alone, so others will respect you and think that bothering you less is most in line with your personality. But this does not mean that they are unwilling to interact with you or that they don't care about you. It's just that your independent personality doesn't give them more opportunities to express themselves. In addition, outgoing people also have their own troubles because interacting with people takes time. In a sense, they have to sacrifice their independent and free time to socialize with friends. Are you willing to do that? We cannot expect that when we need someone, they will appear, and when we need to be alone, they will leave. This is impossible in interpersonal communication. From your self-description, you have earned recognition from your teachers and classmates. If you want to have more interaction with them, just take the initiative. When you convey this message, your teachers and classmates will approach you because you have given them the impression that you are trustworthy. So, don't be pessimistic, accept yourself as you are now, and make some efforts towards the direction you want to change. You are the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Yes, if you have not experienced emotional communication at home since childhood and have not learned it at school, where everything is focused on achieving goals, it is natural to feel that there is a missing part in your life, but you do not know how to describe it. I understand your confusion very well. The first step in establishing emotional communication with others is to open yourself up to the world, just like a baby learning to walk, taking small steps and practicing repeatedly. Find someone you trust the most, it doesn't have to be your parents, but preferably someone you trust enough, could be a mentor who understands people or a close friend. Opening up does not mean talking about things, but expressing your feelings, your emotions, sharing your joy and unhappiness, what kind of joy, what kind of unhappiness, what expectations and worries you have, what dreams and setbacks you have, tell them little by little. Learn to express your feelings, not to discuss things. When others feel your emotions, they will respond accordingly. If you cannot find such a person in your life, you can seek professional psychological counseling support and learn from them. There is a feeling that you should allow yourself to cry, even in front of others; of course, you should also allow yourself to laugh uncontrollably.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I guess you are probably a good student. You mentioned that your classmates trust you to handle problems, which suggests that you are indeed better than them in this aspect. I'm not sure if your daily way of doing things or speaking is too serious. If that is the case, you may not come across as approachable, and your classmates may not feel comfortable joking around with you. It depends on how you view relationships among classmates and how you approach friendships. I'm not sure if your focus is more on studying or if you have high expectations for yourself. Apart from studying, you could take some time to chat with the people around you about other things. Sometimes, chatting may feel like a waste of time, but on the other hand, it is also a way to expand your network and improve your communication skills. Slow down and observe what the people around you are doing, and then compare what you might be missing. Try to enter into their conversation topics. In certain aspects, you may be better than the people around you, which creates a gap between you, such as in daily conversation topics. Are those the kind of conversations you want to have, or are you open to other topics? Start by expanding your topics for everyday conversation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I see that you may not be very satisfied with your current interpersonal communication skills, especially in the aspect of emotional communication. Is that correct? At the same time, I also noticed that you have a good communication with your teachers, because you mentioned being \"familiar with the senior route\". Is that so? Usually, young people of your age tend to have difficulty getting along with their teachers, but you seem to have a different feeling. I guess you must have accumulated some experience in this regard. Perhaps you can also apply your experience to your interactions with peers, what do you think? Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21405
       },
       {
        "question": "It is very uncomfortable to think that one has grown up already?",
        "description": "Reluctant. And have a deep fear of independence, so deeply rely on others.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, meaning of life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From your description, I understand that 1. OP feels fearful about growing up 2. OP is afraid of independence and has a reliance on others internally. [Some analysis and suggestions] 1. These feelings are normal. On one hand, you are facing a completely new growth environment, which can make people feel uneasy and panicked. On the other hand, growing up means that you will have to make some changes that may currently be unknown, and you will have to face more difficulties. So, it is normal and common for you to feel fearful and not want to grow up. 2. But actually, if you think about it from a different perspective, you also understand that you cannot avoid growing up. Growing up is a problem that you must face. However, growing up does not necessarily mean complete independence. There is a long transitional period from being a child to becoming an adult. It's not just you who needs to go through this transition, but parents also need a transition to realize that their child has grown up. During this stage, you can still rely on others, but you can also try to learn from observing how your elders handle things and accumulate your own experience. From this perspective, is it not so difficult? I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13068
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I always feel unfair? Thinking about these things at night will cause insomnia.",
        "description": "Sometimes, I feel depressed and can't fall asleep. My mind keeps racing, unable to stop thinking about things. I toss and turn for hours without being able to sleep.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see that you are feeling very distressed because you are unable to sleep at night due to thinking about something. Here's a big hug for you. \ud83e\udd17 Every one of us experiences situations where we are unable to sleep because of thoughts running through our minds. I sometimes go through the same thing. If something is causing you to lose sleep, the best solution is to resolve that issue. I don't know what has been happening in your real life as you haven't provided much information. But based on your title, it seems like you have been facing some unfair treatment in life. When we encounter unfairness, we feel a sense of injustice and anger. Expressing this unfairness can help us feel better. However, it seems like you have been silently enduring it on your own, which can make you feel suppressed and lead to overthinking, resulting in sleepless nights. Based on my experience, I have the following suggestions for you: \nFirst, when you can't sleep at night because of thoughts, don't force yourself to sleep. You'll find that the more you try to sleep, the more difficult it becomes, which then triggers anxiety. So, accept the fact that you can't sleep. \nSecond, when you can't sleep, try writing down the things that are on your mind. It can be anything, such as events that happened during the day, your emotions, and even expressing your anger towards others on paper. Letting out your inner frustrations can provide emotional release. When you're in a better emotional state, you can reflect on why this situation has triggered such emotions in you. What unfulfilled needs of yours might be involved? What can you learn from this situation? Once you identify your needs and the lessons you can take from this, your perspective will change, and your emotions will greatly decrease. \nThird, you can also talk to friends or family members, as sharing and confiding in others is a great way to release emotions. Perhaps your loved ones can provide you with more solutions. Alright, I hope my response is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! There are always things in life that can bother us and make it difficult to let go. When these things accumulate and weigh heavily on our hearts without an outlet for release, they can potentially affect us, making us feel somewhat depressed and impacting our sleep and quality of life. So how can we learn to release these emotions? 1. Understand the concept of \"impermanence.\" Realize that everything in life is constantly changing, including our thoughts. Just like a waterfall, our thoughts flow and shift. What we think today may change tomorrow, and something that seems bad today may turn into something good tomorrow. As Confucius said, \"All things pass like this.\" The past is gone, and no matter how much we think about it, we can't change it. The only option is to let go. 2. Live in the present moment. People who dwell in the past are prone to depression, while those who focus on the future tend to be anxious. Therefore, we need to learn to live in the present moment. What does it mean to \"live in the present\"? In my understanding, it means doing what needs to be done at the moment. For example, during work hours, focus solely on work and do it well; when eating, concentrate on the taste of each bite; when sleeping, completely relax the body and mind, allowing yourself to enter a state of peaceful sleep. 3. Establish goals in life. Ask yourself what kind of life you want. Everyone has their own roles, so set long-term and short-term goals for yourself. Having goals gives life direction, allowing you to single-mindedly move towards them rather than drifting aimlessly like a floating duckweed. Anchor yourself like a tree with deep roots. 4. Develop regular habits and cultivate action through habits. Determine what tasks can be done at specific times each day - when to wake up, exercise, study, work - and engage in activities that promote physical health, build skills, and strengthen the mind. Develop habits and experience personal growth day by day. Keep yourself busy and fulfilled, so there's no time to dwell on unnecessary things. You will also find that each day you become more capable and happier. 5. Regarding sleep, there's a little trick: when you go to bed, tell yourself, \"I'm going to sleep now. I will count 20 breaths, and with each breath, I will become more relaxed.\" You can also find some relaxation or guided sleep audio online to listen to. Regular exercise every day can also help reduce excessive thinking and improve sleep. Wishing you happiness and joy every day! I hope my reply can be helpful to you. Thank you for your question.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 246
       },
       {
        "question": "Graduate students, I feel like it will not be easy to find a job after graduation, it feels very uncertain.",
        "description": "I am a graduate student from a non-prestigious school, and I don't think I will have good job prospects after graduation. I have no idea what to do! Even though I am only in my first year of graduate school, I still feel helpless. I feel like there is no hope.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ From your description, it seems like you're going through a lot of stress. I can relate as I've been preparing to find a job myself, and I understand how overwhelming the pressure can be. It could be that I lack some personal qualities, as there is a significant salary difference between graduate and undergraduate students. So, being a graduate student might give you an advantage in that regard. Since you're still in your first year of graduate school, it might be best to focus on your studies for now. There is still so much to learn, and once you can master the material you need to study, it might boost your confidence and help you become more self-assured. As a graduate student, you have plenty of options for job hunting, and you can also explore opportunities in academic research. Believe in yourself more and try to reduce your anxiety, as it might help you overcome the challenges that lie ahead more effectively. Best of luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19141
       },
       {
        "question": "Son is in third grade of elementary school, how to deal with the child's refusal to study?",
        "description": "I am about to collapse. My son is in third grade and he is very clever, but he doesn't like studying. Every night, I have to shout and coax him to finish his homework. I have tried everything - hitting, scolding, praising, and even pushing him out of the door. Nothing works. Last night, it got so bad that I had to look up the answers for him while he sat there motionless. I got angry and beat him up really badly. It exhausted me. But tonight, he still refuses to do his homework. I look at the bruises on his body and I can't help but blame myself for not having a good son. I don't know how to educate him anymore. Is it possible that people are just born different? Isn't he just not cut out for studying?\n",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, growing up process, communication between children and parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Although the original poster is already furious and exhausted, I have to say that the problem lies with the original poster. Of course, this whole situation is not entirely the original poster's fault, but it is their problem that it has reached this point of deadlock. [They are very smart but just don't like studying], this judgment needs to be retracted because it already reflects the original poster's mindset. The relationship in this situation is between the child and studying. Imagine if the original poster is an embroiderer who is also a helpless servant with no place to go. As an embroiderer, the original poster is highly skilled, but they just don't want to take action. Is it because the embroidery is too difficult? If it's because the embroidery is too difficult, wouldn't it be better if the master put in efforts to help (like \"I'll search for answers in the book for him\")? Now the master has tried everything, from scolding to coaxing, hitting, scolding, praising, and even pushing the original poster out of the door, but the original poster would rather endure a beating than pick up the needle. So, at this time, who is the original poster fighting against? Is it the embroidery or the master? Most likely, the original poster is using the embroidery as a way to resist the parents. Do they want to achieve something? No way. The more they want to achieve something, the less I will take action. As an embroiderer of the original poster, if they are dissatisfied, why don't they rise up and resist? Of course, it's because they are powerless and incapable, and even if they are willing to shed blood, there is no chance of victory. When India wanted to gain independence from the British Commonwealth, why didn't they have an armed uprising and instead chose a form of non-violent non-cooperation? As for the specific problems faced by the original poster, the one who needs to figure it out is the original poster themselves, they need to carefully consider, put themselves in others' shoes, and think about how this situation gradually formed and how to untie it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1027
       },
       {
        "question": "Always treating myself as an outsider, not knowing what's wrong with myself...",
        "description": "Due to the divorce of my parents, many complicated things happened, and maybe I thought too much and it became too complicated. I didn't know how to face it, so I chose to escape. I avoided facing these things, avoided facing my biological father, and avoided facing everyone at my grandma's house. I think there is already a stepdaughter who has replaced my position. My existence is redundant, a burden. I believe that these people will always be a family with my father, and they have also hurt me together with my father. I don't know how to respond when my cousin is friendly to me. I think they only have superficial relationships with me. On the one hand, I don't know how to interact with them normally. On the other hand, they have a bad relationship with my mom, and I worry that my mom will raise me alone and I'm afraid of losing her. I cut off all contact with these people. I simply thought that I had completely disappeared from their lives, and their lives would be cleaner and easier without me. I called my aunt yesterday and found out that they have been thinking about me all these years. They have never treated me as an outsider. Even though we haven't been in touch for many years, they still mention me and think about me. When my grandpa passed away, they couldn't reach me either because they didn't have my WeChat. Grandpa must have left with regrets... I wonder what grandpa would have advised me if we could have been in contact at that time.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I think you must feel regretful, guilty, and remorseful now - because you made the presumptuous choice to avoid it, leading to your grandfather's regretful passing. I want to give you a hug and comfort you - you don't have to be too hard on yourself, feeling that you were willful or something. I'm not sure how old you were when your parents divorced, but it feels to me that you were probably still underage at the time, and with your father already having a stepdaughter, most people in your situation would have made a similar choice. There is a book called \"Letters from Heaven.\" If possible, I hope you can take some time to regain your spirits, reminisce about the time you spent with your grandfather, slowly write it down, write down the regrets in your heart and the words you want to say to your grandfather, then choose a day to burn the letter. I think, in this way, your letter and thoughts will surely reach your grandfather in heaven. I believe that while you feel remorse and regret, you must also feel a little warmth. All along, you thought you were extra, a burden, but now you have discovered that there are actually many people always thinking of you, worrying about you. This feeling of being loved is beautiful, like suddenly seeing a sky full of stars when lost in darkness, like encountering a bonfire in the biting cold wind. In the past, you chose to avoid, but now that you have suddenly realized, they still care about you. I think, maybe this time you don't have to choose to avoid anymore, try to respond to their love, respond to their care. At the beginning, it will surely be a bit awkward and uncomfortable, after all, you haven't seen each other for so many years, but avoiding will only make you feel more remorseful. I'm not sure if you called your second aunt yesterday, but you can think back, actually, sometimes rebuilding connections isn't that difficult, and it's not as bad as you think. Whether it's love between lovers or care between relatives and friends, they all need mutual responses. Don't let love cool down. Finally, I think this incident is also a warning for you and me, for everyone - don't make presumptions, especially about the strong bond of blood. Of course, when I write this, I realize that I seem to have overlooked what role your mother would play. But I think even if parents divorce, they shouldn't interfere with a child's love for their father/mother. Parents' divorce is their own matter and has nothing to do with the child. I believe your parents will understand, and you will be able to handle this relationship well. That's all.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, I feel somewhat saddened for you. Regardless of whether the way it was handled was good or not, the divorce of your parents inevitably has some impact, no matter how old the child is. You mentioned that many complicated things have happened, although you didn't specifically mention what they are, I can imagine that these things have had a profound effect on you. Perhaps you feel a sense of loss, a breakdown of trust, and insecurity, among other negative emotions. However, divorce is originally an issue between parents, but in the failed marriage of your parents, you experience a strong sense of abandonment. I feel that this sense of being abandoned is partly a substitution for your mother's feelings and trauma. You worry about your mother, worry about her sadness and grief, empathize with her pain. You even feel that maintaining contact and a good relationship with your father's side of the family would be betraying your mother. So, you put yourself in a position where you truly feel abandoned, imagining that they don't care about your existence, don't care about you, or have already replaced you with someone else. You are unwilling to contact your father's relatives, unwilling to acknowledge their friendliness. When you found out that they had always been thinking about you, even when your grandfather passed away with regrets, your inner self was both distressed and bewildered. I feel sorry for you. As children, sometimes we cannot influence our parents' decisions. What we can do, besides accepting, there is nothing more. However, for ourselves, we will always be free and able to make choices. We cannot choose to live in an intact family or a single-parent family. But we can choose our attitude when faced with imperfections. Return your mother's life to her, you are your own person. Allow your parents to truly make a choice about their marriage, and we must find our own suitable existence in this turbulent situation. When you can be yourself in addition to being your mother's child, you will know that, at the same time, you have many relationships that are also trustworthy. They will also give you warmth. They are also relationships you can try to give and depend on each other. Best wishes to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! As a child, you are innocent in your parents' separation. Your parents did not manage this marriage well, and your father chose to remarry and form a new family. You feel hurt and isolated, and you may wonder if your mother feels abandoned and that is why you have this feeling. Are you avoiding facing the root cause of your father's actions? Marriage should be equal, and your mother also has the right to choose her own life. The parent-child relationship does not break because of the breakdown of the marriage relationship. The parent-child relationship also needs to be nurtured. Is your father's love different from the love for his stepdaughter? Love and material things are not the same, love does not diminish because it is shared. If it diminishes, it means that two people's hearts have drifted apart. You and your father and your grandparents will always be a family. Recent events have made you realize that you are deeply concerned about this family. Your relationship with this family will not change because of your father's remarriage. It's heartbreaking that the relationship between your mother and your father's family is not good, and it makes you sad. You are worried that getting close to your grandparents will hurt your mother's feelings. In fact, you can discuss with your mother: \"Mom, can I get closer to Grandma and Grandpa's house? Do you mind?\" In your heart, you may be concerned that your mother's love is possessive or demanding. Mothers usually want their children to receive love from more people, rather than possessive love. Sometimes relatives may not bring you much joy, but they are the ones who care about you. A mother's love for you should not be possessive. Being close to Grandma and Grandpa's house is not a betrayal of your mother's emotions. Your love for your father should not be possessive either. Your father's remarriage is not an emotional abandonment of you. Only independent love is long-lasting and happy love. When we need each other's company, we should speak up; when we need space, we should let each other be brave enough to be ourselves. You are amazing for being able to express your feelings. I hope you are healthy and happy! Love yourself, love your father, love your mother, love your family, love your nation!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand what you're going through. It's really difficult to see how you constantly blame yourself for all the mistakes, while it seems like others don't make any. But the truth is, you are the one who is vulnerable, the one who gets hurt. If you truly feel that someone is good to you, and you know that they would worry if they couldn't find you, would you cut off contact with them for no reason? The answer is definitely no. It's clear that your dad's side of the family doesn't make you feel that way, at least they haven't made you feel that you can still experience their love after your parents' divorce. Instead, they make you feel like they hurt you along with your dad. You might think that your feelings are unfounded, but I can assure you that regardless of whether others intentionally or unintentionally give you this feeling, they definitely do. Otherwise, why haven't you felt that they care about you? It's simply because they haven't made you feel that they genuinely care about you. As for caring and missing you, I think it's natural for elders to feel some degree of it, but for you, who has been affected by your parents' divorce, it's far from enough. Because you, who have been hurt, need more, and they just haven't given you that. So you don't need to blame yourself for the care that should naturally be there, because when you needed more care, they didn't provide it. Lastly, I want to emphasize the most important point: in your description, you mention the concern of many people towards you, but you don't mention your father. Honestly, the influence of parents on us is the most significant, and obviously, your father hasn't done what he should have, otherwise you wouldn't have missed out on the concern from others. Originally, your parents' divorce is something that only concerns them, but clearly, as a child, you have become the victim of their strained relationship. You have lost the care and love that should have been yours. Maybe when you were younger, you didn't have the ability to make decisions. But now that you've grown up, you can decide whether or not to maintain the relationships that are rightfully yours. For example, with your cousin, grandmother, aunt, etc. If you want to, then reply and stay in touch with everyone, because you already have a blood relationship with them and you don't necessarily have to go through your father. But if deep down you still don't want that, or if you're not ready yet, then for now, don't reach out. You have the power to decide everything on your own. And as for your grandfather's regrets, you are the most vulnerable and the victim of your parents' divorce, you should never have to bear them. So don't burden yourself with responsibilities that should be carried by adults.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing your experience, it's very heart-wrenching. I imagine that most children from divorced families go through this stage. It's not your fault; it's probably what you could do at that age. \"You feel like your step-sister, who already has a father, has replaced you and that your existence is redundant and burdensome, believing that these people are forever a family with your father.\" Maybe you feel that your parents' divorce is somehow caused by your \"badness\". You feel like you deserve to be \"abandoned\" and not worthy of being \"a family\" with your father. So you question your cousin's kindness towards you and believe that their kindness towards you is just a facade. \"Their relationship with my mother is not good, and I worry that my mother will raise me alone and fear losing me.\" Being the \"superfluous\" and \"burdensome\" one who is fortunate enough to be \"taken in\" by your mother, you are grateful and indebted to her, how can you engage in relationships with these people who have a difficult relationship with your mother? Being in a relationship with them may, to some extent, indicate that you are not in sync with your mother. As a result, you may lose your mother, and at the same time, she may lose you (abandon you). The hearts of many children from divorced families are caught in-between their parents and do not know how to handle the emotions from their parents. They are afraid of inadvertently \"offending\" them and suffering the fate of being \"abandoned\" again. How old are you now? Having such awareness shows that you have realized that thinking of yourself as an outsider is inappropriate. Your parents' divorce is an issue between the two adults and has nothing to do with you. The new family formed by your parents can be considered your family as well. In reality, living with one parent for a long time may cause some unfamiliarity when interacting with the other parent. But \"blood is thicker than water,\" that is an undeniable fact. In reality, there are also some divorced \"immature\" parents who pull their children to their side and speak ill of the other party. In such a situation, children do not need to argue or defend for either parent. If capable, they can help calm the emotions of both sides. If not, it's great to try to shield themselves from the influence of their parents.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! First, let me give you a big hug. Let's take a look at your issue: your parents divorced, and you chose to avoid your father's side of the family, feeling that your existence is unnecessary after the divorce. In fact, this is a common problem faced by many people today, including myself. Fortunately, I have a good relationship with both sides of my parents and extended family. They did not neglect me because of the presence of new people in our family. I believe your parents are the same. Whether your parents divorce is not something we can decide. What we can do is to focus on ourselves, live our own lives, and fulfill our own responsibilities. Your belief that your existence is unnecessary is based on your own thoughts. Your actions may make you feel more relaxed, as you don't have to face what you perceive as unpleasant relationships. However, your father's side of the family may feel hurt. After all, people have emotions. If you put yourself in their shoes, I believe you would also feel upset. I suggest you try to maintain contact with your father's side of the family. Don't worry about stepdaughters and other issues. Just go with the flow and follow your heart. No matter what, your father's side of the family are your relatives. You share the same blood, and you are a family. Your concern for your mother's feelings regarding her relationship with your father's side of the family shows your filial piety and your love for your mother. However, it is natural for us to need both a father's love and a mother's love. But regardless of which aspect is missing, it can cause psychological problems. In this situation, I suggest you communicate with your mother and ask about her feelings. The most important thing is to let your mother understand that even if you have a better relationship with your father's side of the family, your love for her is the greatest. This will increase your mother's sense of security. Discovering that your father's side of the family still remembers you, even after many years of no contact, and wanting to know about regrets when your grandfather passed away, shows that your father's side of the family cares about you. Your grandfather, cousin, and even your father. I believe you can accept the kindness from your cousin and your father's side of the family and reciprocate with your love. They want to make up for regrets and guilt by treating you well. Why not fulfill their wishes? At the same time, this can help alleviate the lack of paternal love within you. As for your grandfather, the regrets have already happened. I think his advice is simply to let you let go of the issue of your parents' divorce. This has nothing to do with you. Don't get stuck in it and start your own life. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to live your own life, no longer affected by your parents' divorce, and find happiness and joy. Meanwhile, regardless of which side of the family, follow your own heart, cherish the present moment and the people in front of you, so that there will be no regrets. This is just my personal opinion, and I hope it can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7265
       },
       {
        "question": "Do boys really get so busy that they can't spare a minute to send a message in 24 hours?",
        "description": "My boyfriend has started to have a feeling of fatigue. He often plays by himself and ignores me. Is it really possible to go 24 hours without sending a message? What is he doing exactly?",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security, arguments, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your brief description, it is clear that you are currently in a difficult situation and feeling frustrated. First of all, I have to tell you that it is unlikely for a guy to be so busy that he can't reply to your messages for 24 hours. Some of them might just think that they can temporarily set you aside. I'm not saying that he doesn't like you, but sometimes, they may not realize that they have done something to hurt the other person. Some guys are carefree, so he might just want to reply to your message later but accidentally forgets. However, this also indicates that you may not be as important to him as he is to you. He might not realize that it's a message from his girlfriend, so he should reply quickly. If you still want to continue this relationship, it would be beneficial to have a good conversation with him. Share your concerns, understand why he can't reply to your messages promptly, and timely reminders will be more helpful for the relationship. Of course, it is also possible that both of you are currently in a stage where you are a bit tired of each other. At this time, you need to have more surprises and understanding for each other, and take good care of this relationship. Lastly, I want to tell you, don't be miserable for a long time just because he doesn't reply to your messages. The premise for others to love us is that we must love ourselves. Love yourself, become a positive and optimistic person, and naturally, more people will love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, friend, sending you a warm hug. Most guys usually have time to reply within 24 hours. If he's feeling burnt out, as you mentioned, he might not have been paying much attention to your messages. You can try talking to him and ask what he's been busy with lately. If he's genuinely busy, give him some space to handle his things. If he feels that your relationship has become a bit dull, you can find ways to liven it up and create a sense of novelty. For example, you can do things together like cooking, watching the sunrise, or going to an amusement park to create shared memories and engage in different activities together. This way, you can also bring some freshness into the relationship. Best wishes to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner, is it possible for a guy to be so busy that he doesn't have time to send messages for 24 hours? I can't say for sure. Firstly, you are not asking about an individual, but rather describing a group of people with the term \"guy\". So there is definitely a possibility of special cases. So, is your \"Ta\" a special case? The answer is, it's possible. Being busy can also have different situations. You didn't specify whether the person is busy with work, busy playing games, thinking about things, or even daydreaming, which can all be defined as \"being busy\". In any case, the person's mind is already occupied by something else and they have no time to contact you, perhaps not even enough to take care of themselves. Most of us are not superhuman, so how can we have time to deal with others? Therefore, my advice is, don't worry too much about how often he contacts you. If you haven't argued or had a falling out, you can shift your attention to whether he is attentive when you are together. If you feel that he is attentive and not just going through the motions, then when he doesn't contact you, he is probably thinking about something unrelated to you or more urgent, in other words, he has something on his mind. He just thinks that it's not necessary to let you know temporarily and doesn't know how to explain it. If the situation is like this, then you can observe more and give each other some time to adjust. Of course, you can also choose to have an open and honest conversation with him about your conflicts and see if there is a better way to resolve them. Honestly, men usually have their pride and don't want to bring too much pressure to their partners or share the hardships they are going through. But, the situation of not contacting you cannot exclude some individuals who resort to emotional manipulation, not refusing, not breaking up, not opposing. Therefore, it is still general advice. Observe more and don't act rashly. Take care of yourself first, your own feelings and emotions. That is the most important thing you need to solve right now, maybe you have already forgotten about this matter. Take care of yourself first, no matter what the situation is in the end, slay the demons when they come, fight the monsters when they arrive, and explain everything when the gods appear~ I'm sorry, but I must say that saying these things to someone in love without considering their feelings is actually very inconsiderate. Especially since I have also experienced the pain of love, having one person's attention or lack thereof determining one's daily emotions is very cruel, I know. But sometimes pain is a remedy. I truly hope you can redirect your energy back to yourself. It's harsh but true: love yourself first, then you will know how to love.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19904
       },
       {
        "question": "I really don't want to live anymore.",
        "description": "For the last two or three years, since my father got sick, I have been arguing with my husband. I have been feeling suffocated and uncomfortable in my heart. I don't want to live anymore.",
        "keywords": "Growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "#A sentence for the disheartened# Have you ever stored a memory in an object? For example, this beautiful memory can be stored on a train ticket. Keep this ticket and whenever you see it, you will recall those days. You can also seal away unpleasant memories in an item, like a small glass bottle. Write down the incident, put it in the bottle, and use a permanent marker to write \"Open again on November 25, 2029\".",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22248
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a case of chickenpox and a fever. Chickenpox is contagious. What should I do if my parents insist that I go to school?",
        "description": "When I told my dad I had just caught a cold, he didn't care at all. It took him several days to remember to treat me, by which point it had turned into a fever. He then gave me expired medicine. I had a high fever at night, and my mom suggested that I take a leave of absence from school. However, from 5 a.m. to 7 a.m., he berated my mom and forced me to go to school, saying things like \"Don't you care about your grades anymore?\" I felt so sick and exhausted during the four classes in the morning. I lost all the will to cry. I wonder, what is more important, my health or studying? Will you only realize how much I can't take it anymore when I actually attempt suicide? After I was diagnosed with chickenpox, I found out that it is over 90% contagious. And yet, they still forced me to go to school. I asked them what we would do if I infected someone else, and they said they would simply deny that it was due to me. They even said that I only brought this up because I didn't want to go to school. Please, wake up and realize, I am sitting in the classroom feeling dizzy and itchy all over my body. Who am I doing this for? How can you be so selfish? My parents have long treated me like a study machine. I spend two-thirds of my time in the classroom thinking about cutting my arteries. It's so painful, so sad. Can you please give me some comfort and encouragement? I beg you.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can sense from your description that you are feeling very distressed. Many parents use the excuse of being good to their children to make them study like machines, which puts a lot of pressure on the children. Sometimes, children feel that their parents care more about their grades than their own well-being and feelings, which can create emotional distance between them and their parents. In addition, children may feel the need to repay their parents' kindness by performing well academically, but this can actually have a negative impact on their learning. In such cases, children need to adjust their mindset, try their best in their studies, but also let go of the burden. Having chickenpox is really uncomfortable and it can also affect your ability to focus in class. Usually, it takes about a week to ten days for the symptoms to ease. Since you are in the first year of high school, you can definitely discuss with your parents about taking some time off to recover at home before going back to school. However, while at home, you can still engage in self-directed learning and make an effort to catch up on any missed lessons. Otherwise, if you continue to feel conflicted and resentful while also not taking care of your health or catching up on schoolwork, it won't be beneficial for you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug OP. When I was in high school, as we were approaching the college entrance exams, there were several cases of chickenpox in our class, one after another. In the end, around three or four people got it after the exams. At the time, I was quite anxious, not because I was afraid of getting it myself, but because I was worried about not being able to take the exams on time. One of our classmates got chickenpox during the exams, and she went home afterward. Going home would be better. If possible, see if you can persuade your father to change his mind and agree to let you go home to recover before returning. Even though you would be at home recovering, you can still study, as learning knows no boundaries. Besides, it has already affected your regular class attendance, so going home is still better given the current circumstances. Pay attention to personal protection and diet in your daily life. Be in a well-ventilated environment. If you can go home, remember to have your classmates and teachers disinfect your seat. You should also have a light diet, eat more fruits that can cool and detoxify the body, and avoid eating fruits that can generate internal heat. Drinking mung bean soup regularly is also beneficial. Remember not to scratch the chickenpox, as it can leave scars and not look good. Now, take good care of yourself and try your best to go home or visit the homes of relatives and friends where you can stay. Take good care of yourself and stay strong.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! It's hard to understand how you're feeling right now. When you were feeling unwell (with a cold) and told your father, he didn't take it seriously, which led to a fever and later chickenpox. Your father's words and actions forced you to go to school despite feeling unwell. In your 11th-grade year, you've been through a lot, and I can understand the desperation and helplessness you mentioned, even the moments when you thought about cutting a major artery. From what you've described, it seems like you're seeking attention from your father. It appears that even your mother can only follow his decisions at home, like when your mother wanted to help you take a leave of absence but your father didn't allow it. Is the communication and interaction between you and your father always like this? Clearly, there is a lack of care. I'm not sure if it's because your father isn't good at expressing himself or if he doesn't consider certain things important, like having a cold. Before getting chickenpox, it's possible to have a fever, so it wasn't necessarily because you didn't take medicine for the cold on time. Would it make you feel a little better if you analyze it this way? Adolescence is a sensitive period where you have sensitive thoughts and think a lot. I hope you can express your specific needs to your parents. For example, when you have a cold and don't feel well, you can say that your body feels uncomfortable and ask if there's any medicine that can provide some relief. You want to alleviate the discomfort caused by the cold by taking medicine early. When I was in middle and high school, my mom would always say, \"When I have a cold, I just lie down and won't move. She never knew what it feels like to have a cold.\" However, I realized that when I have a cold, my symptoms are much worse than others', feeling weak, muscle aches, dizziness, and a throbbing head. Even though we've lived together as a family for over ten years, understanding and accommodation may not always be possible. Effective communication is crucial. I hope this is helpful to you. Take care of your health.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for your question. If you are a high school freshman, you should be 16 years old, right? That means you are going through puberty. Actually, in terms of legal and practical abilities, you can't fully make decisions for yourself yet. So, when you have a cold and your dad doesn't immediately help you get better, can't you take care of yourself first? It seems like there are some medications at home that are about to expire, so even if you don't have money, you can still find a solution, right? If you are not satisfied with these medications, have you tried asking for new ones? Your dad yelling at your mom from 5am to 7am seems like he sacrificed you to avoid the conflict between him and your mom. The conflict among family members is probably not just because of your illness. Excluding your factors, it seems that they have different perspectives. So, the choices you feel forced to make here have a sense of sacrifice and compromise. But this is not a sacrifice you should actively choose. They should be responsible for their own differences. Sacrificing you doesn't fundamentally solve the issue. So why is it difficult for you to endure their arguments? Do you love your mom? But their issues still need to be resolved by them, not drained out of you. Being selfish, yes, not being selfish is something you need to defend for. It requires some effort. Arterial incision. Are you really not planning to take responsibility for yourself? Dear high school freshman classmate, or is it just to retaliate against your stubborn father and your mother's inability to protect you? You can protect and take care of yourself, which will make your parents feel more at ease and reduce the arguments between them over you. If your father is worried about your academics, can't you alleviate that concern as a freshman? For example, even when you are sick, you can still complete your assignments on time, do some extra exercises, or discuss with your teachers to get some resources to keep up with the class. Are there any methods that allow you to take time off without affecting your studies? It seems like you are hoping for your father's attention. The more you hope for it, the more your father's neglect of you will be magnified. But his wish for your academics to not be delayed is also his way of showing care, albeit with a stubborn attitude. Do you have the courage to communicate your expectations (your father's care) to him? At least before you have the courage to make an arterial incision. As Jane Eyre said, \"If a mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain.\" Stubborn people need someone who is not stubborn to set an example for them. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Chickenpox is contagious, and if it worsens, it can be life-threatening. My little brother had a viral case of chickenpox before and had to stay in bed for several days, missing school for more than two weeks. For my family, physical health is the most important thing. You should communicate properly with your parents. Maybe your emotions got the better of you, and you were not able to communicate effectively, huh? Be good! It's best to communicate and exchange ideas with your parents!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20287
       },
       {
        "question": "I heard that medication has side effects. How can schizophrenia be cured without medication?",
        "description": "I heard that the medication has side effects and can make people foolish. I'm a little afraid to take it now, and online there are people saying that it just makes you numb. Now my mom believes that whenever I cry or get angry, it means I have a illness. I'm feeling really tough.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Schizophrenia involves physiological changes and typically requires medication for effective treatment. Psychiatric medications work by adjusting hormone levels in the body to alleviate symptoms such as delusions and depression, but they may also cause some side effects. These side effects can be more significant during the initial stage of medication, but they usually improve after a certain period. The key is to continue with medication treatment to aid in symptom relief. I understand your pain, but in order to return to your family and society, and lead a normal life and work, it is important to try to overcome it. You can seek help on this platform, explaining that your self-awareness, insight, and ability to test reality are still intact, and your condition is not very severe. Seeking treatment early will help alleviate your suffering sooner. Keep going! We are here with you! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13140
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I always want to break up when I feel uncomfortable in my heart, and then regret it after the breakup? (Same-sex female)",
        "description": "1: The partner and the ex are good friends because they work and live together under the same roof. Deep down, they always feel that she still loves her ex. 2: The partner rarely shows that they care about me. I always feel like I'm optional and there are no commitments. They don't take initiative in our relationship. 3: We have broken up and gotten back together many, many times, I've lost count. But we are still together, just not as good as before. I am becoming less willing to take the initiative. (Before, it felt like I was the one taking the initiative.) 4: I don't want to break up with her, I just want our relationship to get better. I want my needs to be fulfilled. (We've been together for two years and haven't progressed at all.) 5: If we're going to break up, is there any effective way for me to forget? I'm afraid it will hurt like losing a piece of myself, which is uncomfortable and painful. 6: Does she really love me? When she says she loves me, I can't feel it. When she says she doesn't love me, she still wants to get back together after all the times we've broken up. 7: Lastly, I want to know how I should approach dating and loving someone in the most suitable way. (I no longer understand what love is and how to love.)",
        "keywords": "Love, dependence, attachment, sense of security, and love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I want to have a simple chat with you about the topic of \"love,\" just for reference. Love refers to the deep level of liking and the emotions that people voluntarily give and devote to. It refers to the satisfaction and happiness that humans actively provide or consciously expect. It refers to the proactive or conscious cherishing, nurturing, or satisfying of certain human needs that others cannot achieve independently, including thoughts, mental experiences, behavioral states, material needs, etc. Love is an emotion that comes from the heart. In a relationship, the more proactive someone is, the more they care and love the other person. People do not willingly devote too much to a stranger because there is not much love between them. Love is different from liking. Liking includes \"wanting to possess, wanting to obtain.\" Liking represents personal feelings. When seeing someone or something they like, they feel happy. When liking reaches a certain intensity, people will devote material, time, emotions, and even give everything they have, and at this point, it becomes love. The feeling of liking may not be long-lasting, just like how today I like/want to eat fried rice with eggs, but I may not feel like eating it tomorrow. If I love to eat fried rice with eggs, I may be willing and even happy to eat it continuously for a week. In the movie \"Love is Not Blind,\" it is said, \"Liking is indulgent, but love is restrained.\" This is also a unique distinction. Many times, your feelings are only your feelings and not necessarily the truth. You feel that she still loves her, but it doesn't mean that she really loves her in reality. There is no special method to forget about someone after a breakup, especially when you deliberately try to forget. Forgetting always takes time, which also proves from a certain perspective the little bits and pieces you once put into the relationship. So, some people say that perhaps the cure is only time and a new love. As for the most suitable way for oneself, it needs to be explored together by the two people. In addition to emotional satisfaction, dating often has practical constraints, such as having less time to meet if both are working. However, fortunately, love is never measured by how long you can stay together. If you're happy, be together; if you're unhappy, separate. It's better to be carefree, but more importantly, seek a stable relationship pattern, which requires introspection. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello. Seeing words is like seeing faces, so let me give you a warm hug first. I hope my answer will be helpful to you. Your partner and their ex are good friends and even live together. As a girl, I feel a little sense of crisis. Do you know the reason why your partner and their ex broke up? Do you think there is a possibility that they will get back together? If your partner has deeper feelings for their ex than for you, my dear, I suggest you cut your losses and end it in a timely manner. It's better to have a short pain than a long one. Your partner seems to care very little about you and hardly takes any initiative. From your description, it seems that your partner doesn't love you very much. There are many reasons why she might be willing to get back together with you. For example, she might not really care, it doesn't matter to her whether she breaks up or gets back together with you. She can go with whatever you say. Maybe you're the one who likes her, and if she gets back together with you, she can satisfy her need to be loved and get something from you. If getting back together has benefits, she will do it. You don't want to break up with her, you just want your relationship to get better and better. My dear, when it comes to relationships, it's not something you can achieve just by wanting to, and it's not something you can achieve through your efforts alone. You have to understand that \"it takes two to tango\". So you have to admit that your relationship has problems, and she may not love you that much. Being together will not benefit you, it will only torture you and make you unhappy, to the point where you have to come to the internet for help. I really feel sorry for you, and I hug you tightly. My dear, you like her, so breaking up with her is definitely going to hurt. But it's better to have a short pain than a long one. Continuing to hang on with her will only cause greater harm to yourself. There's a term called \"sunk cost\", which means that the more people invest in something, it doesn't necessarily mean that the likelihood of achieving the desired result is greater, but it makes people less willing to give up because they feel that they have put so much effort into it and it's hard to let it go. But continuing to hang on will waste your emotions and delay your youth, which is a greater cost and not worth it. How to love someone? In fact, I think it's best to be with someone you enjoy and feel comfortable with in a relationship. Being in a relationship is about two people, and there's nothing wrong with loving someone and treating them well, but the other person should respond to you and accept your intimacy, and also treat you well. My dear, just wait a little longer, you will meet the right person for you. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In the process of being together, couples often have this feeling: are we really not compatible with each other? Would it be better to break up? Everyone handles their emotions differently, just like the main topic mentioned, you care about certain details, and your partner is 8 years older than you, so your partner may be more rational in dealing with many things. We also love each other in our own way, but the other person does not return it in the same way. Actually, most of the time, what we want is not much, just hoping that the other person can give us a little more greetings and care. But every time we communicate, the other person will say that's just their personality and they can't change. So we start to doubt this relationship. Therefore, we can ask ourselves, if the other person is unwilling to change, should we continue? In order to be with her, you must have made a lot of changes. From the beginning to now, does the other person often make some changes for us? If the other person has never changed, and most of the time it is just us adapting to the other person, then we really need to seriously consider it, after all, love is not something that can be done by one person alone. If she has indeed made some concessions, and has gradually become more tolerant towards us in terms of personality, then we can have regular heart-to-heart conversations with each other and plan our future lives, adjusting our direction in a timely manner. As for how to love someone, I think it means including the other person in our future plans, being able to recognize their strengths and accept their weaknesses, gradually changing ourselves in regards to things that the other person cares about, and giving the other person some little warmth because we care about them. Sometimes we need to learn to love ourselves, if the other person does not take our feelings into account in many things, then we need to learn to protect ourselves, after all, being proactive alone can be tiring. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Same-sex love is also love, although it encounters different problems compared to opposite-sex relationships, but the feeling of love in the heart is the same. I have found that you are a very organized person, so let's go through it step by step according to your description. 1: Your partner and their ex are good friends because they live under the same roof due to work. You always feel that she still loves her ex. If you do not have concrete evidence that they still keep in touch and have an ambiguous relationship, then this problem may stem from your own insecurity and lack of self-confidence. Therefore, what needs adjustment is not the behavior of your partner, but your psychological state and the way you perceive her. Reflect on the idiom \"suspecting others of one's own inadequacy\". 2: Your partner rarely shows that she cares about you, and you always feel that you are disposable and she does not commit to you. She does not take the initiative to show affection. First of all, you need to clarify for yourself what it means for your partner to care about you. Quantify the degree of care, such as how many times she takes the initiative to contact you in a week for you to feel satisfied with the relationship. Do not rely on \"feelings\" alone - people tend to only care about their own efforts and usually think that they have given more while the other person has given less. The words \"disposable, no commitment, and lack of initiative\" indicate that you are dissatisfied with the relationship. However, you haven't mentioned any specific instances, and you are still speaking from your \"feelings\". Consider whether your personal understanding and interpretation of the relationship are objective enough. Children who were often ignored, unrecognized, and unappreciated when they were young often have similar feelings. Similarly, because there are no specific instances, it is also possible that your partner is simply someone who is not very emotionally expressive. 3: We have broken up and gotten back together many, many times, and I have lost count. But we are still together, just not as good as before, and I am becoming less and less willing to take the initiative. (Before, it always felt like I was the one taking the initiative) Regardless of whether it is out of anger or hoping to use the breakup as leverage to make the other person love you more, the act of breaking up itself only indicates that you lack confidence and interest in the other person and the relationship, and you want to continue moving forward together. Therefore, whether you take the initiative to break up or get broken up with, it is a blow to love. Your on-and-off relationship, hearts are not like felt wool, being poked and prodded, the two hearts are full of wounds, how can they be as good as before? It is normal for you to feel tired and unwilling to take the initiative. But the problem is not who takes the initiative, but why do you often break up? And why do you get back together? I suggest you make a list of these specific reasons for the back-and-forth, so that we can analyze them more rationally, isn't it? 4: I don't want to break up with her, I just want our relationship to get better and my needs to be satisfied (we have been together for two years and it doesn't feel like there has been any improvement). The same problem arises again, what are your needs and what specific aspects of the relationship do you hope to see improvement in? Can you write them down like filling in blanks? You can't expect the other person to meet a need that you yourself are not clear about, right? 5: If I want to break up, are there any special methods to help me forget? I am afraid of losing a piece of myself, it feels uncomfortable and painful. Breaking up, unless there is no love left at all, otherwise it will always feel uncomfortable.... Since you cherish this relationship so much, like being afraid of losing a piece of yourself, why not try to find the problems within the relationship and find ways to address them? 6: Does she really love me? She says she does, but I can't feel it. She says she doesn't love me, but she is willing to get back together even after so many breakups. 7: Finally, I want to know how I should be in a relationship and how to love someone in the most appropriate way (I don't understand what love is anymore, how to love). Analytically, it may be true that she says she loves you but you can't feel it. (Because if she doesn't love you, she could refuse to get back together. There is no need to waste each other's time with pulling and tugging.) And it seems that you have initiated breakups more times? Maybe you have always been the one to say breakup whenever you are unhappy? It's a bit cute, like playing house as a child. Love has countless forms, but I can only speak about the way I like: to love someone is to learn to accept them, appreciate them, and allow them to be their true selves when they are with me. Find a way to interact with each other that makes both of us feel free and comfortable, to accompany each other through the ups and downs of life. I'll end with a quote I found online: love is cuddling up in the arms of your beloved while feeling lonely",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. In an intimate relationship, not being able to love and be loved well is a highly tormenting experience. The constant fear of losing and feelings of insecurity are truly painful, as if there is no sense of safety at all. I can see the torment in your heart and the helplessness of not being able to control yourself and your emotions. But don't worry, let's analyze it together and take it slowly, okay?\n\nAnalyzing the problem:\n1. Your partner and their ex are good friends because they work and live together. Deep down, you always feel that she still loves her ex. (In situations where exes can still be friends, it could mean that they are truly unable to be together or that there are still lingering feelings. Your concerns are not unfounded, but a judgment should be based on the specific circumstances. Guessing alone is not accurate enough.)\n\n2. Your partner rarely shows that she cares about you, and you always feel like you are either important or insignificant, with no commitment. She is not affectionate. (It could also be because of her personality, that she is a bit indifferent. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. This also requires observation and judgment in daily life, right? Don't scare yourself without reason.)\n\n3. You and your partner have broken up and gotten back together many, many times, to the point where you can't even count anymore, but you are still together, just not as good as before, and you are becoming less and less willing to take the initiative. (Before, it seemed like you were the one taking the initiative) (Yes, doesn't a person's willingness to be with someone else at least indicate that you are their top choice? Any kind of relationship that experiences breaking up and getting back together multiple times will hurt each other's feelings. It doesn't necessarily have to do with other things, right? You still need to make judgments.)\n\n4. You don't want to break up with her, you just want your relationship to get better and your needs to be satisfied (You've been together for two years and it feels like there hasn't been any progress) (It seems like you really care about her and don't want to leave her. The lack of progress in the relationship has many reasons, such as not yet understanding what \"love\" is, not being able to love each other or yourself properly. When the perspective is too limited, there won't be enough tenderness. Over time, expectations for each other increase and there is less personal growth, which will affect the relationship.)\n\n5. If you want to break up, is there any effective way to forget her? I'm afraid of losing a part of myself, which is uncomfortable and painful. (Habit is a terrible thing, it makes it very difficult to change. You two are like a part of each other's lives, just like you said, \"a part of yourself.\" Therefore, breaking up means losing a part of yourself. I want to tell you, if you can't change the other person, isn't it better to change yourself?)\n\n6. Does she really love me? She says she loves me, but I don't feel it. She says she doesn't love me, but she still wants to get back together after so many breakups. (To be honest, someone who constantly demands to break up in a relationship is being \"dramatic.\" And the fact that the other person still wants to reconcile shows great tolerance. Perhaps you need to understand yourself more or maybe you already know something, but try looking at yourself from your partner's perspective, and you will realize that what you thought was love was just constantly \"tormenting yourself and the relationship.\")\n\n7. Lastly, you want to know how you should date and love someone in the most suitable way (You no longer understand what love is and how to love) (Yes, this is a good question: love does not involve force, including towards yourself or your partner. Love should bring joy and comfort to both parties, it should be based on respect, and there should be a \"comfortable boundary.\" Small dramas bring joy, but excessive drama only causes hurt. When love is constantly tormented and lost, staying together is not because of love, but a \"painful connection.\") If you cannot feel the presence of love as described above, perhaps you need psychological guidance. Perhaps the intimate relationship needs to be clarified.\n\nIn conclusion, I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you can love and be loved well! If you have specific concerns, you can private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I'll answer the sixth question! Does she really love me? Saying she loves me but not feeling it, saying she doesn't love me and I've broken up with her so many times but she still wants to get back together. The OP says that they will only love her if she loves you back. Or maybe you love her and also expect her to love you, but you're not sure if she does, so you want to clarify this, right? To figure this out, you might have to ask yourself or let her ask herself, when you're together, not only are you happy but she also feels pain when she's away from you? If only the first one is true, you probably just like her. If both are true, you probably have fallen in love with her; or, being together with her is simply about supporting her, or if you will actively and unconditionally take care of and help her even if it causes you losses when she encounters difficulties? If you only want to support her, but this support doesn't cause any losses to you, then you probably just like her. If you are willing to devote yourself to her unconditionally, then you probably have fallen in love with her. We all hope to have a fulfilling love relationship, just like the princess marrying the prince and living happily ever after. We all try to live in an ideal fairy tale-like state, but the fact is, chaos is the true portrayal of real life. In love, there are romance and troubles, sweet words and arguments. There is mutual support and betrayal. In your relationship experience, when two people with different backgrounds come together in an intimate relationship, conflicts and adjustments are natural occurrences, and breaking up and getting back together is not unusual. The key is for you to understand how to communicate, to express your needs and feelings honestly to each other, and of course, you also need to learn and grow, to focus most of your energy on yourself, to develop your strengths and show your value. This way, you can not only grow independently but also rely on each other, isn't this what you have always wanted?",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the host, feel conflicted and confused in love. Love itself is a difficult thing, our usual understanding of love is not just sweet. It is also mixed with suspicion, pain, jealousy, grievances, and love does not only have a bright side. I think you may have experienced these feelings in love, so how can you say that you don't understand love? Hug you, let's not be in a hurry, let's take our time to sort things out. 1. This time, I want to set aside the analytical part and come up with a possible suggestion for point 5. Maybe you can set a \"breakup countdown\" agreement, such as another 30 days together, or three months. When the time is up, we break up. And during this designated time, you can treat it as a proper farewell, even if you get angry or suffer during the process, don't mention breaking up (that's the only taboo). How to maintain the relationship without breaking up within the designated time, let time decide. 2. Let's first look at how you perceive your partner. My partner rarely shows that she cares about me, always feeling like I am replaceable, not committed. Not taking the initiative to show affection. Saying that she doesn't love me, after breaking up so many times, she still wants to get back together. First of all, if you have brought up breaking up so many times and she still wants to reconcile, I believe she at least has some feelings for you, accommodating your impulsive decisions, time after time. And she rarely shows that she cares about you, I would lean towards the possibility that she doesn't know how to respond to you, and is temporarily at a loss when it comes to unresolved issues (such as commitment), she also feels the conflict. 3. Not committed. My needs cannot be satisfied (we've been together for two years and I feel like there hasn't been any progress). In your description, you mentioned the importance of commitment and emotional development. It is clear that you care about whether there is a future for the two of you. Can you please tell me if the disagreements over \"commitment\" have caused the occasional breakup and reconciliation between you? As far as I know, same-sex relationships currently lack legal protection. This may be a significant obstacle to the progress of your relationship. Have you thought about how to resolve these issues? (For example, registering in another country?) This not only requires your partner's response but also your own reflection. 4. I believe everyone has a different understanding of love. In addition to Sternberg's triangular theory of love, I believe that a good love is when both parties sincerely listen to their inner voice in this relationship, embrace each other's differences and grow together. It is a mutual healing of two constantly changing and growing souls. Deep down, you always feel that she still loves her ex. You may think that she still loves her ex, but at the same time, you need to ask yourself, \"Do I feel like I am a unique individual? Do I feel important?\" If you are uncertain or deny this answer, then no matter how your partner responds, you may not be able to convince yourself. The potential psychological implications of this possible evaluation may damage your self-confidence, and in a relationship, we need to have confidence in ourselves. I believe you can do it. 5. Let me tell you about a same-sex couple I know. They were my high school classmates, from a spicy southwestern provincial capital city. Their relationship has lasted for 7 years. They often show affection for each other on social media. Both of them are now teachers, one teaches English and the other teaches physical education. They are financially independent. From what I know, their parents and families have met each other and are aware of their situation. Perhaps an open family environment has provided great support for their relationship. Moreover, the city we live in is nationally known for its tolerance and openness, and friends and neighbors have a non-judgmental and accepting attitude towards this. So I think being in an environment where people respect each other might be advantageous for the development of your relationship. I wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: Feeling confronted with this emotion, it makes you struggle and feel conflicted. You don't know how to choose, and you don't know where your love is heading. You want to break up, but you can't gather the courage. I don't know how you fell in love with each other and got together in the first place. I also don't know your personality traits and communication patterns, so it's difficult to give you an objective and accurate answer. I can only try to help you sort things out based on the information presented. First, the internal conflict you are currently experiencing, what part of it is caused by her? What part is inherent to yourself? For example, your excessive sensitivity and suspicion, the lack of sufficient inner security, whenever she ignores or acts cold towards you, it triggers your defense mechanisms, and you choose to leave in advance for fear of being abandoned by her. For example, you are always worried that she still cares about her ex. When you maintain this kind of suspicion, how can you enter her inner world with defense and caution? Next, let's talk about what she brings to you. For example, her love for you is indecisive and ambiguous. You cannot see her whole-hearted care for you, and no matter how much effort you put in, you find that you can't enter her inner world. Maybe these are the fortresses of her defense? How to break through the impasse? Love itself is an ability. When we love someone, is it based on our own needs or the other person's needs? If your love carries too many expectations and utilitarianism, only satisfying your own desire to be taken care of while neglecting the other person's feelings, then the power emanating from this kind of love may be a form of control, achieving your own needs through controlling others. If your love is based on giving to the other person and letting them feel the warmth, acceptance, and trust behind your love, then believe that the other person will also invest their love into your inner world. Additionally, if you want to better maintain this romantic relationship, you need to consider what love connection points exist between you. What interests and hobbies do you share? What commonality is there in your personalities? How can you share and enjoy together? Where do your values align? How can you share and enjoy together? As for feeling like wanting to break up but not being able to, it may be related to the trauma you experienced in your early attachment relationships. In your early attachment relationships, there were traumatic experiences of separation, and now, breaking up only triggers your early experiences of separation anxiety. Of course, the above analysis is only for reference. Keep going, and know that I will always love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Before I help you, I have a question to ask: You mentioned that your partner and their ex are very good friends because they work and live together. But deep down, you always feel like she still loves her ex. When you say \"ex,\" are you referring to her ex-girlfriend? Your question is: Does she really love me? What is the most appropriate way to love and be in a relationship with someone? 1. To love someone, there are generally three criteria: rational love (height, financial conditions, etc.), emotional love (comfort when being together), and physical love (sexual intimacy). If you meet two or more of these criteria, it indicates a strong love for someone. 2. There is no specific step-by-step guide on how to be in a relationship. However, there are two principles: follow your own feelings and respect her.\n",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18656
       },
       {
        "question": "My long-distance girlfriend has mild depression, and I feel like it's affecting me too. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am a very cheerful guy, and I'm generally happy almost every day. My girlfriend is a college classmate, and we have been in a long-distance relationship for a long time due to the pandemic. She has mild depression, so she often has bad moods from time to time. When she's in a bad mood, she ignores me and doesn't respond no matter what I say. At first, I thought I could slowly influence her with my happiness, but now I realize that my own emotions have also been affected. I feel powerless and don't know how to interact with her anymore; I'm also confused about what I should do...",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, thank you for inviting me. Actually, your post mentioned two points: long-distance relationship and girlfriend's depression. You love her very much and want to help her through this difficult time. People with depression often experience low mood and can have a negative impact on those around them during episodes. I understand your feelings, but don't worry, let's look at the issues you mentioned together. 1. Low mood is a main characteristic of depression. You mentioned that when your girlfriend is in a bad mood, she won't respond to you no matter what you say. In fact, people with depression tend to have reduced energy during low moods and are not willing to communicate with anyone. Your girlfriend's behavior is not because she doesn't want to respond to you, but rather a manifestation of her illness. Understanding this is an important step. 2. Depression requires communication and companionship. You mentioned that due to the pandemic, you are in a long-distance relationship. Long-distance relationships themselves can bring a lot of insecurity to couples, which is why many people breakup due to distance. In your girlfriend's case, she has mild depression, which means her feelings of insecurity and loneliness will be heightened. You are an optimistic person and want to influence her with your positivity, which shows how much you love her. However, what brings joy to ordinary people may not necessarily bring joy to someone with depression. (For example, we may feel happy because we had a delicious meal, but someone with depression, due to reduced energy, may not see it as something worth being happy about. Even in the eyes of someone with severe depression, there may be nothing worth feeling happy about). What people with depression need the most is companionship and understanding. When your girlfriend's mood is not too bad, you can communicate with her more often (such as phone calls or video chats) and ask about her feelings or what she has been doing. You can also surprise her in daily interactions. When she confides in you about her low mood, first, show understanding (what may seem normal to us ordinary people can have a big impact on someone with depression). Secondly, gently guide and inspire her to think about things from different perspectives, and encourage her to do other activities to shift her attention (like listening to music or writing in a journal to express negative emotions). At the same time, during your conversations, be careful not to be influenced by negative emotions (if you are affected, you can distract yourself with things you enjoy, like listening to music or engaging in physical activity). Finally, due to the limitations of distance, you can also rely on the support of her parents or friends to accompany her and listen to her negative emotions, helping her through this difficult time. I hope the above answer can be helpful to you. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, because of the epidemic, many people at home will have emotional problems. If your girlfriend's emotions are only more obvious during this period, this is an influence under the big environment, so you don't have to worry too much. You mentioned that you are college classmates and you have been together basically all the time except during winter and summer vacations. Facing such changes, it is a test for both of you and requires you to face it together. It is clear that you care about your girlfriend and want to make her happy. You want your happiness to infect her, but your strength is not enough, and you are instead affected by her. At this time, if you feel particularly powerless, what you need to do is to give yourself some space to replenish your own energy, and then let your girlfriend feel that you are with her and give her strength. You may be too eager to make your girlfriend happy quickly, and you have too high expectations for the impact of your emotions, which leads to feelings of frustration. It might be helpful to lower your goals a bit. If you just accompany her, this in itself is a transmission of strength, which may be better. I am giving some suggestions boldly, and you know the specific situation best, so you need to evaluate it yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16843
       },
       {
        "question": "If the grades are not good, it can lead to special depression. How should I prepare for the college entrance examination?",
        "description": "Unable to sleep well, unable to eat well, not feeling energized. Don't know how to continue studying.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Based on your description, I think you are experiencing pre-exam anxiety, and I have a few suggestions for you:\n- Motivate yourself with ambitious goals. As the saying goes, \"Without far-sightedness, one is bound to be troubled in the near future.\" In other words, if we only focus on immediate concerns and don't have long-term goals, we will constantly be plagued by worries. By setting lofty ideals and continuously motivating and inspiring ourselves with distant goals, we can forget about current troubles, disregard temporary difficulties, and reduce the tension and anxiety in our minds.\n- Encourage yourself with small successes. If a person idles away without doing anything and has no purpose in life, they naturally will have many idle worries, concerns, and anxieties. By continually giving ourselves realistic tasks, setting achievable short-term goals, and using moderately challenging and not overly burdensome tasks to push ourselves, we can find practical successes that may not be magnificent but are real, which can encourage us to forget about tension and anxiety amidst the \"busy\" activities.\n- Learn to release your emotions. We must recognize that a certain level of tension and anxiety is not harmful but beneficial for our learning. The problem is that we must keep this mental adjustment of stress within a controllable range. This stress must be transformed into motivation in order to facilitate our learning. When the pressure becomes too great, we can relieve and alleviate it appropriately by shifting our focus or engaging in intense physical exercise. This can help us adjust tension and anxiety to a reasonable level. \n- Make a feasible revision plan. \n- Learn self-relaxation techniques to optimize emotions. When the stress becomes too high and affects our study efficiency, we need to learn self-relaxation techniques. Self-expression: candidates can confide their frustrations and nervous emotions to family members, friends, or teachers, or they can vent their emotions through activities such as running or crying. Learn deep breathing: candidates can sit or lie down, take slow breaths, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale, repeating this process several times. Positive visualization: candidates can recall their past successes as much as possible and visualize themselves in a bright and comfortable environment accompanied by soothing music. Learn positive self-affirmation: candidates should learn to positively affirm themselves, saying things like \"I can do it! There's nothing special about it, it's just a test!\" \"I believe in myself! I've reviewed these questions many times, no matter how difficult they are, I won't give up, I can get through it!\" \"No matter how I perform in the exam, I have no regrets as long as I've tried my best!\" For candidates who are seriously affected by anxiety and it impacts their daily life and studies, seeking help from family members, teachers, or counseling professionals is important. If necessary, seeking assistance from professional psychologists for effective psychological adjustment is recommended. And of course, I think it is important for you to communicate with your parents. Take some time to talk to them, express your true thoughts and feelings. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the brief description provided by the questioner, it appears that they are experiencing anxiety due to the upcoming college entrance exam, which is impacting their daily life and causing a loss of appetite and sleep disturbances. This, in turn, affects their performance in the exam, creating a vicious cycle. Firstly, I suggest that the questioner gains a clear understanding of their own abilities and then develop a practical and feasible plan. Since the college entrance exam is approaching, their current studying should aim to maintain a learning state and prevent slacking off. However, the questioner's current situation is precisely what teachers are most concerned about, as it affects their daily life and places excessive mental pressure due to the impending college entrance exam. It is important to appropriately relax their mindset, maintaining a mental state that is moderately tense - not too tight to break, but not too loose that they become slack. Only with correct understanding can one make the right judgments. Secondly, the questioner should adjust their daily routine, ensuring sufficient sleep, maintaining a healthy and light diet, and engaging in appropriate physical exercise to prepare their body for the exam. Additionally, the home environment is also crucial. I recommend communicating with parents, mutually influencing each other, and creating a healthy atmosphere for exam preparation. Lastly, as mentioned earlier, the current grades have already reached a relatively stable level. I am unsure if the questioner is studying at home or at school, but it is important to maintain a consistent study routine. For example, when I was preparing for the college entrance exam, our teachers required us to study and practice questions in sync with the exam schedule. Wishing the questioner success in their exam!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18516
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently, staying up late has become more and more severe, and I feel very anxious, unable to control myself.",
        "description": "Everything makes people anxious. Lately, staying up late has become more and more severe. I set multiple alarms to remind myself to sleep, but it doesn't work. I can't control myself.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, anxious emotions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! In fact, staying up late is more like a kind of healing for young people. After experiencing exhaustion and anxiety during the day, lying in bed at home is the most relaxing time of the day. Whether it's browsing Weibo, watching dramas, or playing games, the feeling of being in control of your own time always keeps people addicted. Every person who stays up late actually has anxiety about tomorrow and fear of the future. In today's fast-paced life, most of our time is occupied by work, and we have very little time for ourselves. For us, nothing is more healing than quietly staying still and having a space for solitude. We all understand that staying up late is bad for our health, makes us look ugly, and affects our work the next day. But the pleasure that staying up late brings makes these things seem insignificant. Staying up late has become a normal thing for people nowadays. Before we know it, it's already eleven or twelve o'clock at night, and we only realize we should go to sleep, but we keep thinking of playing a little longer. The reasons for staying up late may be playing with our phones, using computers, reading books, or working overtime, etc. We just can't fall asleep, even if we want to. If possible, avoid using your phone before going to bed. In the half hour before you plan to sleep, stop playing with your phone, put it away from yourself, and take care of everything related to sleep, such as adjusting the air conditioning temperature, going to the bathroom, and washing up. Once you've taken care of everything, lie down on the bed, and try not to think about anything that happened during the day. Because this will make it even harder for you to fall asleep. Reading books at night is a good idea. Read a dozen pages or so and gain some knowledge. Gorky once said, \"Books are the ladder of human progress.\" So, if you have time, try to read more books. Don't read novels because they will make you more engrossed. Read some classics, sometimes it will make you sleepy, and then you can go to bed. This way, you not only gain knowledge but also successfully bring the desire to sleep. Many people may have the habit of taking a nap, and then they find it difficult to fall asleep at night. So, it is best not to have the habit of taking a nap. No matter what you do psychologically, if you can't overcome it, then it's useless. So we should try our best to overcome our own psychology. Whatever we say, we should stick to it and not let the various psychological problems disturb our sleep. Finally, I hope you have no fear, no panic, and in every corner of the big city, in every quiet late night, you can still see hope and live a fulfilling life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3952
       },
       {
        "question": "30-year-old divorced woman, in the past month, always unable to hold back her tears?",
        "description": "Married to a village outside, I am not sure if I regret it after marriage. Lately, I have been consistently dissatisfied with the village I married into, especially when I think about leaving the village where I had lived for 29 years. It will be inconvenient in the future to buy things and receive deliveries. I feel uncomfortable and have headaches. I don't want to talk to anyone. Seeing my parents busy makes me feel uneasy. But I just don't want to do any work! I miss my life in my village so much that I cry! Is there something wrong with my mental health?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the description provided by the original poster, it can be understood that they married into a village and are unsure if they regret it after marriage. Lately, they have been dissatisfied with the village they married into, especially when they think about leaving the village where they have lived for 29 years. They feel uncomfortable and get headaches when it comes to buying things and receiving deliveries, and they don't want to talk to anyone. Seeing their parents busy makes them feel uneasy. I wonder why the original poster chose to get married in the first place? Was it because of love or out of helplessness? You have been unable to accept married life and constantly feel that you don't like the village you currently live in. You even experience physical symptoms such as headaches. Perhaps this was not your own choice! You did it because you were forced to, so now you are unhappy. However, regardless of the situation, you are already married to your current husband. You can try to open your heart and slowly accept your husband and the place you currently live in. Give yourself a chance, and also give your family a chance!",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 226,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7490
       },
       {
        "question": "18-year-old male, always dislikes his own gender, would be happy if someone said he looks like a girl?",
        "description": "Always disgusted with one's gender, including one's own body. Will be very happy when someone says they look like a girl.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend, hello! Thank you for your trust, allowing me to see your inner confusion on this platform. I also value the opportunity to communicate with you and hope to be of help to you. [1. Why seek help?] You mentioned that you dislike your gender and wish to be perceived as a girl by others. It is everyone's right to dislike or like something. At first glance, it may seem simple to dislike something, and there doesn't appear to be any internal conflict that would cause you distress. Upon further reflection, there seems to be an internal conflict of wanting to be a girl, but in reality, you are physiologically male. This almost unchangeable physical structure has created obstacles for you to fulfill the \"female\" role, and perhaps your inner turmoil is caused by this, leading to feelings of hatred towards your own sexual organs. So, I would like to know what answers you expect to get through this inquiry? Why do you detest your male identity? Or, how can you adjust the feelings of hatred towards yourself? [2. Why detest your male identity?] Dear, do you know? There are many reasons for your confusion about your gender role. So, what are the reasons that make you more inclined to be a woman? I would like to attempt to explore this dilemma with you from the perspective of family relationships. Do your father's contributions to the family stand out? If your father is lazy, it may lead to a deep-rooted resentment towards males from within you. In this case, if your mother happens to exhibit many qualities that appeal to you, it is also understandable that you would prefer the female role. If your father is hardworking and works very diligently, and if your mother is a more dependent woman, it may lead to a sense of compassion towards males from within you, feeling that the pressure of being a male is too great, and it is easier to fulfill the responsibilities of being a female. Remember to make a comprehensive assessment, as both genders have their advantages and disadvantages. [3. How to adjust feelings of self-hatred] According to psychological research, children form their gender roles in two steps: the first step is distinguishing between males and females, and the second step is categorizing themselves into one of these groups. You are clear about the first step, but now you are having confusion in the second step. It seems that you are unsure which category to belong to. In response to this situation, you can approach it with a more relaxed mindset. You are currently at a critical period of forming gender identity, and many adolescents have similar concerns. It's not shameful to want to be a girl; it is your true feeling. The fact that you are aware of this confusion is already valuable. In regard to your aspiration for the female role, you can gain some insights from the second point, the causes, and examine the motivations behind your desire for the female role. Finding adjustment strategies based on the causes will be more effective. Understanding the causes can also lead you to further and more comprehensive exploration of the responsibilities and benefits associated with being male or female in society, allowing you to make your own choices. In the past, psychologists have assumed that masculinity and femininity exist on opposite ends of a single dimension. These rigid definitions of gender roles have limitations because they restrict male and female behavior. In modern theories, masculinity and femininity are considered independent dimensions of personality. Each of us has a gender identity. When an individual scores high in both masculine and feminine traits, this gender identity is referred to as androgynous. Under current pressures, androgynous individuals are actually more common, and compared to individuals who conform to traditional gender roles, they exhibit more flexibility and adaptability in their behavior. For example, androgynous males may display \"masculine\" characteristics such as resistance to pressure and having unique perspectives, as well as \"feminine\" traits such as actively engaging with a baby. This has led to the emergence of a range of gender roles such as \"tomboys\" and \"nice guys\" in different individuals. The above is my thinking on your concerns. I hope it can be helpful to you. If you have any further confusion, feel free to ask. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm not sure what you ultimately want to express with this question. Do you want to \"correct\" this aversion towards your own gender and return to liking your male gender and body? Or do you feel conflicted because you were born male but feel like you might be a \"girl,\" causing you to be afraid of being perceived as \"abnormal\" by others or even yourself, without knowing which direction to turn for a solution? You're only 18 years old now, and gender shouldn't be such a confusing concept for you anymore. Based on your statement that you \"always\" feel aversion towards your gender and body but feel happy when others say you resemble a girl, I conjecture that you identify more with femininity in terms of gender identity. In the book \"Psychology and Life,\" it is mentioned that gender refers to learned psychological phenomena related to gendered behaviors and attitudes. Gender identity refers to an individual's degree of recognition and acceptance of masculinity and femininity, including awareness and acceptance of their own gender. Gender roles refer to the behavior patterns considered appropriate for males and females in a specific society. Without knowing your experiences and why you feel aversion towards your body, and also not knowing the demographics of the people you interact with on a daily basis, I cannot tell you which gender direction you should pursue. However, personally, I believe that there are no absolutes in life, and there are two terms: \"androgyny\" and \"hermaphrodite.\" Everyone's external expressions (speech, clothing, appearance, etc.) are just a gender, and internal acceptance and recognition are your true gender identity. Not everyone will follow societal norms steadfastly. You may have heard of a tattooed muscular man who likes Barbie dolls, or seen someone with a loli face but a muscular body. Of course, these are just two extreme examples of gender presentation. As long as it doesn't harm society or yourself, do what you love. Don't bother or struggle; your body and mind are yours, and they can coexist harmoniously. PS: I hope this can help you (although I'm not sure if I hit the mark (*^\u25bd^*)\u30fe(\u25cd\u00b0\u2207\u00b0\u25cd)\uff89\uff9e). Everything will be fine.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Hello, dear 'girl in psychological distress,' I am very honored to have crossed paths with you on this platform. I hope my words can bring you sunshine and warm your heart. Your message is very short, but there is a saying, 'The fewer the words, the greater the importance.' I believe that behind these brief words, there must be rich stories and experiences of growth. Because I don't know the cause and effect of your 'disgust towards your own gender,' I can only speak a few words to the 'heavens' based on my personal experience and see if it can be helpful to you. I have encountered many boys on this platform who do not identify with their gender as 'males.' Their problems often stem from their families of origin. In their own families, there may be a situation of 'strong mother, weak father' or an overbearing mother and a passive father, where female energy completely overwhelms male energy, causing them to lack a sense of security as a male within their family. In such cases, they often arrive at this 'irrational' cognition: 'Male' = 'insecurity'! Recall that Kierkegaard, the founder of existential psychology, once said, 'Regardless, what is believed in the heart is the most important.' What a person perceives as 'true' in their heart often has a greater impact on their emotions and behaviors than objective reality, and these emotions and behaviors often further reinforce their inherent cognition. Over time, their behaviors, emotions, and other aspects tend to become 'feminized.' It can be said that this is a negative 'defense mechanism,' a way to protect themselves from harm. During their upbringing, they may have experienced violence from fathers or certain males. Because, at first glance, the occurrence of violence often appears related to the gender characteristic of 'male.' Consequently, from the perspective of behavioral psychology, a 'stimulus substitution' is created, associating the male gender characteristic with violence, terror, and other negative emotions. They themselves are also male and fear becoming violent and terrifying, thus leading to self-denial of their own gender. In summary, all these are 'irrational' behaviors born out of a sense of 'insecurity,' and they can be understood! However, these approaches cannot fundamentally solve the problem. Because if you cannot find 'peace of mind,' even if you really become a 'female,' you will still experience various 'resentments, annoyances, and anger'! Of course, I am just speaking to the heavens! I don't know if you belong to these cases. Can you share with me a bit more about your experiences of growth? Of course, if it involves your personal privacy, I will respect your wishes!\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! Hugs to you. Physically, you are a boy, but deep down, you want to be referred to as a girl. What is the reason behind this? Based on your description, you seem to be transgender! Unlike the LGBT community, you were born wanting to be a girl, but unfortunately, you were born as a boy. It's truly a natural pity, as if there was a misplaced component when you were created, causing some changes in your original self and now you're seeking to find that true self again. However, in reality, you are still a boy, so you may feel conflicted at the moment. At the age of 18, I wonder if you have the financial means to undergo gender reassignment or if you can start by changing your appearance through clothing. You should also be aware that regardless of which method you choose to become your true self, it will require a great deal of courage. Family, friends, and society may have different perspectives, but the world is becoming more accepting. The key is whether you have the courage yourself. To you, a girl at heart.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16764
       },
       {
        "question": "32-year-old single woman, facing the failure of her business venture and burdened with a huge debt, feeling anxious and terrified, thinking that life is not worth living?",
        "description": "I am 32 years old, single, and my parents are farmers. I am living alone and struggling in a nearby city. Two years ago, I started a business. Since my family had some issues, I borrowed my first online loan to help them. However, my business did not go smoothly. To repay the loan and cover the business expenses, I started borrowing more money. By the end of last year, my business completely failed, I closed my shop, lost my source of income, and now I have a high debt of 300,000 yuan from online loans. I managed to recover 50,000 yuan from selling my shop, a friend lent me 50,000 yuan, but my parents cannot help me. I found a job with a low salary, but it can barely sustain my life. I barely made it until the beginning of this year, but then the pandemic hit, the company closed down, and I lost my job, my only source of income. The online loan is now three months overdue, and I receive daily phone calls and text messages threatening and harassing me. If it weren't for the money I owe to my friend and the fear of debt collectors bothering my parents, I might have died a long time ago. Nowadays, every day is spent in anxiety and panic. I feel that life is not worth living, but I can't afford to die either. I feel like a walking dead, working overtime until late at night for a meager salary that is not enough to pay off my debts. It's too painful. When I walk on the road, I have the impulse to run into the middle of the street, and when I stand on a pedestrian overpass, I have the impulse to jump off. I feel like I can't hold on any longer.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I feel sorry for what you're going through. You are working hard and have a lot of courage, it's just that luck hasn't been on your side. I understand how stressed you must be, but you need to know that no matter how much debt you have, it doesn't compare to the value of your life. Your life is priceless. This difficulty you're facing is only temporary, as long as you keep going and keep repaying your loans, your days will definitely get better. I recommend you watch a movie that I believe will give you courage and strength to keep going. It's a classic movie based on a true story called \"The Pursuit of Happyness\". The protagonist also faced difficulties similar to yours. He used to sell medical equipment and invested all his savings in buying a lot of instruments. However, these instruments turned out to be difficult to sell, and his life fell into hardship. He struggled to pay rent and his wife couldn't bear the difficulties, so she left him. One day, he passed by a stock brokerage firm and saw people there seemingly successful and living the life he desired. Through his efforts, he got an internship opportunity, but it didn't pay a salary for six months, and after that, only one person would be kept on. He persisted and during this time he even slept with his son in a subway station restroom and sought help from a shelter. He went through many hardships, but in the end, he succeeded and became the only one who was kept on. I believe you are currently facing a similar situation to the protagonist, but you have to believe that this problem is temporary. As long as you don't give up, you will overcome this difficult situation sooner or later. Work hard, and if possible, take on part-time jobs to tackle the loans. I believe you can do it! Sending hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21487
       },
       {
        "question": "How to deal with a controlling person in the workplace?",
        "description": "How to deal with a controlling person in the workplace? What to do in case of conflicts?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, interpersonal boundaries, colleague.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Good evening! I would like to ask if this controlling person is your boss? What are your own feelings? Because our evaluation of others is based on our own subjective feelings. In other words, you think he is controlling, but some people may not think so. So, the important thing is not what you should do? but what kind of relationship do you want to have with him? If you resist this person, then find out what you resist about him and expand on this idea from a belief perspective. For example, a child jumping on the sofa, the mother may think the child is naughty. But if the child is jumping on a trampoline in the playground, the mother will think the child is cute. The same child will be perceived differently by the mother in two different situations. So, what are the benefits of dealing with a controlling person? We cannot change others, we can only change our own mindset. So, try to consider this aspect and see if it can be helpful to you. A coin has two sides, both the heads and the tails make up the whole coin, so everyone has strengths and weaknesses, it depends on how you use them, whether it's the strengths or weaknesses, it's up to you to choose.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 143,
            "end": 249,
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           },
           {
            "start": 249,
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           },
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            "start": 292,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7865
       },
       {
        "question": "How can we help children maintain their enthusiasm for learning as they continue to take online classes?",
        "description": "Given the current situation of the epidemic, online classes will continue for a period of time, and even exams that usually have a sense of ritual will be canceled. Children may encounter difficulties and have poor performance in online classes. How can we help them get through this stage of online learning?",
        "keywords": "Growth, developmental patterns, work and study, student development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know what age group you are teaching. Let me share my teaching experience this semester first. I teach a professional design course for freshmen. Most of the time, we use audio and screen sharing to conduct online classes. I found it difficult to achieve the same process and effect as offline teaching. Especially for our design major, it is challenging to provide detailed one-on-one guidance and interaction. At this point, I remembered someone saying, \"What makes a good teacher? A good teacher is someone who can make students feel like they are at the forefront in the shortest time possible.\" I think it is about enabling children to quickly gain a sense of self-efficacy and make them feel that they can do it. So, I adjusted the teaching goals and process, not strictly adhering to previous professional requirements, but constantly seeking and affirming the strengths of the students. For the issues they encountered, I encourage them to make improvements little by little and then acknowledge their progress. As a result, the students gave very positive evaluations at the end of the semester, and they presented better assignment results than previous years. Each of them saw their own progress in this teaching process and outcome. I cannot see them for most of the class time, and I know they are not always completely attentive, but they did make efforts to complete assignments and made progress, which is enough. In the end, they were very reluctant to leave and ended this semester of learning with affirmation of their profession and themselves. I think this is a satisfactory teaching process. As for the knowledge points that may have been overlooked, they do exist, but with self-efficacy, any knowledge and skills can be learned in the future. So, my advice is twofold: 1. Do not overly emphasize discipline. It's normal for children to be less attentive during online classes and not fully engage. I experienced this myself when holding online meetings. I cannot sit quietly and listen to the leader's speech, and I am constantly distracted doing other things. So how can we expect children to sit still all the time? Let's look at them with understanding. Of course, we can demand discipline, but we should not blame them. 2. Provide timely feedback to students so that they can see their own progress. Why can exams promote student learning? Because they provide feedback on learning activities. Why are games so appealing? Because games provide feedback within minutes or seconds, showing the consequences of your actions, whether you win or lose. This feedback continuously stimulates you to take the next action. Therefore, in online teaching, if every student can receive timely feedback, their motivation will be greatly enhanced. The reason why students enter a period of exhaustion during long hours of online teaching is that they do not receive feedback for a long time. It is challenging to stimulate students with only persistence, lectures, and requirements. The feedback we provide to students can be positive or negative. But try to let each student see their own progress. After all, if you can't move forward in a game, you won't want to play anymore. Allowing students to see their own progress and feel that they can do it is a more valuable asset than any knowledge, which can stimulate their current learning enthusiasm and facilitate their future learning.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, indeed as you said, this sudden pandemic caught us all off guard, especially students who have been affected the most. Unlike before, students used to attend classes in classrooms, where they were supervised by classmates, teachers, and school administrators. Regardless, the quality of online classes will certainly be affected compared to in-person classes. Being mischievous is a normal phenomenon for children, and each age has its own characteristics. In order to improve the efficiency of online classes, you can try the following methods to a certain extent: implementing a system of rewards and punishments, for example, rewarding a small sticker or exchanging it for a small prize for attending online classes diligently, organizing notes, and reviewing materials on a daily basis. Accumulating a certain number of stickers can be rewarded with a wish fulfillment, such as going to an amusement park or watching a movie. However, it is necessary to be cautious and find a balance to not diminish the child's motivation while considering practical issues such as family situation and its impact on the child's future. When the child encounters difficulties, guiding education can be adopted instead of just scolding them, focusing on encouragement. It is also important to find the child's interests, as life is not always about school. Each person has their own areas of strength and weakness, and it is necessary to identify the child's strengths and amplify them, as it will greatly help their life. Finally, I wish your child better and better grades! Thank you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know what age group the original poster is teaching. As a college student, I would like to share my personal thoughts based on my own experience.\u2460 The teacher's teaching level can also affect the students' listening level. The teaching content should not be simply read from the PowerPoint slides. The teacher should provide their own insights to help us understand and grasp the material better. It would also be helpful to incorporate relevant examples that align with the students' interests and age group, making the class more interesting and engaging.\u2461 Teachers can set requirements for students, such as random questioning or assignments. This helps to assess the effectiveness of the class and encourages those who are not paying attention to focus and grasp the material. Although this approach may cause some students to feel dissatisfied, it is indeed effective.\u2462 When a teacher takes responsibility, students can feel it. Carefully correcting students' assignments and patiently answering their questions make students feel valued. As I don't have any teaching experience, these suggestions are solely from my perspective as a student and may have some limitations. However, I hope they may be helpful in some way.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! First, give you a virtual hug. From your description, it can be understood that due to the pandemic, students have to continue taking online classes, and exams have been canceled. You have noticed that students are being lazy and uninterested during classes, and you want to find ways to help them improve and maintain their enthusiasm for learning. Here are a few analysis and suggestions: 1. It is indeed difficult for online teachers to monitor and check the attendance of each student. However, during breaks in class, you can use some entertaining games to make the course material more interesting and stimulate student interaction during questioning. This can help prevent exhaustion and boredom caused by long hours of classes. 2. Let parents share the responsibility of supervision and companionship. You can assign practical assignments that require active involvement from the students. Since many students spend long hours at home in front of the computer for online classes, it's beneficial to have assignments related to the outdoors, such as collecting leaves or observing nature, to help adjust the students' state of mind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this is a very realistic issue that has given us a new challenge despite the significant improvement in the epidemic situation. We are currently in the summer vacation period but also need to deal with the problem of children learning at home independently and managing their time properly. As parents, it is very important to provide guidance and supervision. First, it may be helpful to create a schedule, similar to a class timetable. Secondly, an detailed execution plan can be established, including \"responsibilities of the executor and supervisor, methods of rewards and punishments, and measures to be taken in special circumstances.\" The section on special circumstances can be discussed and agreed upon by parents and children. List all possible situations in as much detail as possible to avoid any confusion or disputes during execution. These are just some of my personal thoughts, and please take them as reference.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You mentioned helping children maintain their enthusiasm for learning, which means you believe that enthusiasm for learning is something that exists in a certain amount and will gradually decrease over time unless there is external intervention. This enthusiasm will not be restored. And it is necessary to maintain this amount of enthusiasm in order to be considered normal and acceptable. Is that what you mean?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18768
       },
       {
        "question": "I was busy with exams and work before, how can I now adjust this lazy state a bit?",
        "description": "I was busy with exams, work, and daily life before. But now that I'm done with all that, I always feel out of sync and a bit lazy~ I want to relax, but the weather outside is so hot that I'm starting to doubt life! How should I adjust my state of mind~",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. We should aim to live each day like a spring, with moments of tension and moments of relaxation, without putting too much pressure on ourselves but also not becoming too relaxed. I can totally understand your feelings. When you're really busy and suddenly have some leisure time, it can make you either want to keep relaxing or become lazy. This is perfectly normal. It's great that you can think of ways to relax, but the weather might dampen your enthusiasm. You can try doing some indoor activities or projects with friends, such as handicrafts, archery, escape rooms, painting, board games, etc. Choose activities based on your and your friends' interests. Even if you don't go out, there are still plenty of fun things you can do. If you want to adjust your state of mind while at home, the same principles apply. Think about what activities and tasks you can realistically accomplish. What are you interested in and can focus on? For example, watching movies, reading books, watching documentaries, doing flower arrangements, etc. Give yourself a plan and schedule your time well. It doesn't have to be too tight, but make sure you're actually doing something instead of being lazy all the time. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15210
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm about to graduate from university, but everything is going wrong. I'm trapped in endless self-doubt...",
        "description": "In the past few years of college, I have been working hard. I have achieved good grades, conducted research, and participated in social activities. I have won many awards and have been enjoying myself with friends. I am an optimistic person and have always felt lucky to have been favored by fate. However, recently it feels like my life has suddenly hit a dead end. I missed the chance to be recommended for graduate school by just one position, and my national scholarship was manipulated by the college. I prepared for an important certification exam for more than a month, but I ended up getting acute gastroenteritis the night before the exam. I endured the pain and went to take the exam, but I still didn't pass. I also participated in an interview for a 20,000-dollar scholarship. The staff responsible for the PowerPoint presentation made a mistake on the spot. I tried to smile but couldn't control myself, and once I left, I started crying, and the opportunity slipped away. I also worried that I wouldn't be able to get into graduate school because I started preparing late. I called my mom, and although she loves me, she has always thought of me as outstanding, so she was disappointed that I didn't receive these awards. She also blamed me a little. I lie in bed, suffering from insomnia throughout the night. Some classmates in my class also discuss me privately, saying that I have bad luck and I'm just keeping up. Even though I always appear calm and relaxed in front of others, telling them it's okay, I can't bear it anymore. I try to console myself and be more open-minded, but I don't know where the future lies. Do I really have to compromise with each failure?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed emotions, emotional regulation, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I think you are a hardworking and diligent student. Although things haven't been going smoothly these days, it seems like you've encountered some setbacks. I don't deny your past achievements. Don't worry too much about things you've missed. Psychological stress can also affect your physical health. You are a very ambitious person, maybe even a bit of a perfectionist, but these negative emotions always burden your body. Although your friends have said a lot of pessimistic things next to you, it doesn't mean they don't care about you. They just think you are a little regretful. Actually, your experiences are more enriching than the average college student. There are plenty of classmates who just sit in their dorms, wait to eat and drink, or rely on their parents even as adults. If you feel tired, take a rest for a while. After all, personal growth is like a marathon. As long as the end result is good, it doesn't matter if you go slow or take it easy in the middle.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's organize and chat at the same time: #Just missed the opportunity for graduate recommendation, and the national scholarship was also brushed off by the college's black-box operation# Personal efforts are indeed important in society, but when it comes to competing for certain resources, it is crucial to understand the situation and the relationships involved before making choices. The phase you are currently in is the time when your comprehensive abilities are most tested for the graduate entrance exam. In addition to your efforts, you also need to understand your competitors, their situations, and the people responsible for allocating these resources, as well as their relationships with your competitors. Once you have a clear understanding of these factors, you will likely have a clearer idea of the outcome and be able to make other choices. Life is unpredictable and not everything will go smoothly. You may hope that your mother can understand, comfort, and support you. However, from your description, it seems that she may not be able to provide what you desire due to her own understanding and perspective. She may believe that as long as you work hard, you can solve any problem, but society is not like that. Society is much more complex and multi-dimensional, and success requires a holistic approach and effort in multiple areas. It is not like before high school where only academic performance mattered. Therefore, be prepared that your mother may not be able to provide you with more support in the future. This is not compromising on failure, but let's try to change our perspective. Through these experiences, you need to realize that excelling academically alone is not enough. In order to achieve what you want, you not only need to focus on your academic performance, but also understand how the social system operates. Given the resources you currently have, what is the likelihood of success in obtaining what you want? When you analyze a situation from multiple dimensions, you will discover a different world. As for classmates discussing you, this is normal. Just like when you look at something on the internet, there will be various perspectives and opinions that cannot be controlled. This is part of freedom of speech. However, what I'm concerned about is that you rarely mention friends, mentors, senior students, or senior sisters. How are your interpersonal relationships at school? If you are still feeling down and have time, we can talk about it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3511
       },
       {
        "question": "How can a sophomore girl persuade her father, who plays Douyin (TikTok) with loud sound, to lower the volume?",
        "description": "I am a sophomore girl. My father loves to turn up the volume of his phone's external speaker very loudly, whether he is watching videos on Douyin, listening to voice messages on WeChat, at home or outside. I feel very embarrassed about it, but I don't know how to communicate with my father about it.",
        "keywords": "Family, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~~~ First, give OP a hug, because it's embarrassing when older people speak loudly in public, but after all, they are one's own father, and one doesn't know how to advise them. During the time when the older generation was growing up, there were not many functions even on the mobile phones themselves, let alone these mobile apps. So, the rules and manners among young people now, such as \"not playing the sound too loudly\", etc., are probably unknown to fathers. In their eyes, it is as natural as answering a phone call. OP wants to express their advice, but perhaps it can be done in a more gentle and subtle way, compromising on the rules a little bit. OP can sincerely tell their father that playing the sound of the phone in public can affect others and suggest that they not do it, but it is better to take a step back and tell their father that they don't have to restrain themselves at home, but they should still pay attention to the impact on others outside. Or they can buy headphones for their father and gently remind them about this issue while explaining how to use the headphones.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21807
       },
       {
        "question": "\"Obsessive-compulsive thinking, what should I do if I can't find a reliable doctor?\"",
        "description": "\"Obsessive thinking\" (found online, seems to fit) has reached the point where I am desperate and want to die. I am not afraid of death at all anymore. I wanted to make one last struggle. About a year ago, when my symptoms were still relatively mild, I tried going to a psychiatric doctor. The doctor's professional smile has been lingering in my mind. I could tell from our conversation that she thought my symptoms were just a result of overthinking, a problem with my own mindset, and there was nothing she could do about it. I felt like the doctor was just trying to get rid of me, and I understood that she was busy and didn't have the patience to deal with patients. Since then, I have no desire to see a doctor anymore. I have asked online a few times, but most of the respondents were not professionals, and some of their comments actually worsened my discomfort. I have been told that out of one hundred consultants in China, ninety-nine are unqualified, and some have only received one year of training before opening a psychology clinic. I am afraid that I won't be able to find a good psychologist and that it will worsen my condition. If I don't obtain the treatment results I want, I am relying on doctors as my last hope, but what if I'm not lucky enough? Fear, desperation, and fearfulness. I feel like I am the worst person in the world. Even Lin Yihan chose death despite being admitted to the hospital for treatment. If the thing I fear is actually true, I would be in great agony. I really don't want to leave my loved ones behind, but the burden on my mental health is too heavy, and I don't have the strength to carry on.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, mental crisis, psychological counseling, hospital institutions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I sense that your distress has reached a painful level, causing you to feel anxious and enter a state of excessive negative thinking. It is important for you to recognize that your current state of mind is characterized by excessive and negative thinking, rather than a positive, proactive, and normal thinking state. Therefore, it is good that you have realized that your state needs adjustment and that you need the help of a doctor. This is a positive sign, indicating that your mind is still clear and your thinking is intact. So, what you need to do first is to be aware. Be aware of your state, your thoughts, your environment, and your true existence. Ask yourself, are your current thoughts really true? Do you believe that your thinking is realistic and objective?",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 38,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 38,
            "end": 84,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 84,
            "end": 137,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 137,
            "end": 225,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "What are the specific manifestations of obsessive thoughts? Do you constantly repeat certain behaviors? How do you feel now? Do you find it difficult to accept your own condition? You want to stop, but it feels like ants on a hot pan, unable to stop. I also had a period of time like that, feeling anxious and unable to stop even for a moment. I had no control over myself. This belongs to the realm of psychology. When you go to the hospital to see a doctor, especially a psychiatrist, their thinking often leans towards diagnosing and prescribing medication. They can't truly listen, understand, and see your needs like a psychological counselor can. It might be better to find a suitable counselor than to see a doctor. If you really need it, I can recommend my counselor to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10622
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know how to face it for a moment. Is it really my fault to be scolded by the teacher?",
        "description": "Because I went to get vaccinated during the first English class last Friday afternoon, I didn't know about the English homework. I only heard others say that there was only one homework assignment for English class. So I just did that assignment and handed it to my group leader. My group leader asked me for another assignment, but I had no idea about it. Today at noon, the English teacher scolded me. I don't know how to explain to her. The teacher sent the list to the parent group chat in the evening. I feel like I have lost all my dignity. My dad also called me, and my mother-in-law told my aunt about it. I don't know how to face it all at once.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, avoidance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello, hug you~ After reading your description, it seems that you only neglected another English assignment while doing homework, and as a result, you were punished by the English teacher. I really sympathize with your situation. Based on your description of \"today at noon, the English teacher beat me up. I don't know how to explain it to her,\" I'm not sure if you made a typo or if that's exactly what happened, but I think students' rights are important. Teachers should not randomly use physical punishment on students. If the teacher hit you because you didn't submit your assignment, your rights have been violated. I hope you can inform your family about this incident and protect your rights. After understanding the context you described, personally I think this is a small matter that just needs to be explained clearly. But it seems that it has caused a lot of concern from your parents. I think it's making a mountain out of a molehill. If you have already explained to the teacher that you didn't do it on purpose and she doesn't believe you, then it's not your fault. So I hope you can explain it clearly to your parents and let them understand that you are a serious and good child, and don't put too much pressure on yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2499
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it wrong for me to just want to be a smart person, playing the role of a good person?",
        "description": "I used to be the class leader in elementary school, but later I found out that many classmates did not accept me, but had no choice because of my abilities and academics. I also had the support of the homeroom teacher. Afterward, I was afraid of getting on the bad side of both the teachers and students, so I focused on studying and didn't run for class leader again. In high school, my confidence was shattered and I suffered from depression. In college, I didn't dare to run for class leader and chose to focus on cultural and sports activities instead. In the recent chorus competition, I often gave advice to the class leader, but I felt that her way of handling things seemed too dominant and caused dissatisfaction among many people. It reminded me of my past. I made suggestions behind the scenes and discussed the division of labor with her, even though it wasn't my responsibility and I wanted to distance myself from it. When classmates asked if I was afraid, I just said that it was what the class leader said, and I even advised them not to waste their efforts. But when someone asked me, I explained myself and made sure not to criticize the class leader. Am I a bad person? I just want to be a smart person, but I feel like I'm being a troublemaker. I didn't speak ill of the class leader, but if you ask me, I won't say it wasn't me. I just think that I have strong organizational abilities. After all, I was one of the top ten squad leaders in elementary school. Moreover, the chorus competition falls under the category of cultural and sports activities, which I'm supposed to handle. I just gave the responsibility to the class leader and took on the role of conductor myself. Am I a bad person?",
        "keywords": "Growth, work, and learning are all important aspects of a student's development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your concerns. You were a class monitor in elementary school and stood out, which caused some students to resent you. In high school, you lacked confidence. Now that you're in college, you didn't run for class monitor, but you're always willing to give advice to the monitor. However, you're too afraid to show your abilities and hide yourself. You want to be a good person and doubt if you are a bad person. Hugs to you, dear child. Each of us encounters various problems in the process of growing up. By seeking help here, you have given yourself the possibility to become a better version of yourself. You are currently at a crucial period of self-identity formation. Self-identity develops through interactions with peers because we need to identify our social roles, such as how we appear to friends or classmates. It is normal to have doubts. You both want to showcase your abilities and fear drawing dissatisfaction from classmates. Acting differently in front of classmates and the class monitor makes you wonder if you are a bad person. Children who cannot obtain sufficient self-identity often dwell on past grievances, but in fact, our past experiences are meant to surpass them. The more a person understands how their early years were limited, the less constrained they are by those experiences. You may have fallen behind later, leading to a lack of self-confidence. As we grow up, we realize that we can gradually take responsibility for ourselves and accept contradictions and imperfections. There is no need to strive for perfection or for everyone to like us. The key is to learn to like ourselves, firmly believe that we are good people, willing to contribute to the class with a good heart. You are a young person of the new era and you want to live as yourself. You can try to find things that interest you and constantly practice. Also, learn to develop a strong sense of self, self-reliance, and dare to express your opinions bravely. See what changes occur. In this process, try to separate others' desires from your own and discover your strengths, such as your organizational and communication skills. Develop a sense of competence from small things. Competence represents our sense of value, feeling capable of achieving what we want when faced with difficulties and challenges in life, and feeling confident and happy. For example, being the conductor of a choir is great! I always admired our conductor when I was in school. Now let me share with you about the issue of people-pleasing. In our cultural background, we have been instilled with various concepts of \"pleasing others\" since childhood, such as \"being a likable child will make you more popular.\" Therefore, we learn to observe others' expressions and act accordingly. We learn not to argue with others, to be humble, and to see disadvantages as blessings. We learn to be compliant and weak... We are willing to do anything to win love! Over time, this forms our personality traits, and we develop some automated responses. Wearing the mask of a good person uncontrollably causes us to lose ourselves and be afraid to express our true feelings, frequently abandoning our own thoughts just to please others. This feeling of discrepancy between our actions and our inner selves causes us great distress. Can we truly be happy like this? The answer is definitely no! Let us gradually learn to respect our inner feelings and no longer withhold our expressions due to others' feelings, and start living as our true selves. When a person learns to be their true self, helping others becomes a genuine joy rather than superficially trying to please them. This is something we need to practice step by step. There are too many people in life who enjoy pleasing others and being a people-pleaser! I recommend a book called \"The Amazing Power of Being Yourself\". Finally, I wish you gradual self-acceptance, self-identity, and growth!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2375
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do when I feel like we're running out of common topics to talk about after being in a relationship for a long time?",
        "description": "I have been in a relationship for almost two years, and we initially built our connection through chatting. But now, I always feel like there's nothing to talk about, and it scares me. What should I do if someone else comes along and can have the same enjoyable conversations that we used to have? How can I change the current situation?",
        "keywords": "Love, managing relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, it seems like you are in a long-distance relationship or unable to meet frequently. After being in a relationship for two years, the main way of maintaining it is through chatting. It is necessary to feel concerned about the fragility of this situation, and your intuition is correct. From a deeper perspective, it's likely that the two of you came together because of a certain \"familiarity.\" However, in order to sustain and deepen the relationship, it requires a deeper understanding of each other and becoming a role that the other person needs and relies on. These roles could be a lover, a close friend with mutual understanding, caretaker-like parents, a lively and creative child, or a broad-minded mentor, etc. If you feel that your interaction is becoming stagnant, you can try changing roles and see if it increases the other person's satisfaction and trust in you. This is a perspective adjustment from yourself, and also from the perspective of gaining a deeper understanding of the other person to increase your \"intersection.\" For example, what does she like to eat, what games does she enjoy, what books and movies does she like, who are her friends, and who doesn't she like, and any memorable experiences from her childhood. You can also explore these aspects in yourself and have more conversations on this level with each other. I believe it can make your interactions more \"meaningful\" and more \"exclusive\".",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3980
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do some people enjoy being alone but also fear what others think of them?",
        "description": "What is the reason for liking to be alone but fearing others' opinions of oneself?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think in this society, there are many biases towards people's personalities, especially towards introversion and extroversion. People often believe that only extroverted and outgoing personalities are good, while introversion is considered bad and even abnormal, needing to be changed. But in reality, there is no good or bad when it comes to personality, introversion and extroversion are just two different characteristics. Introverted individuals prefer being alone and feel comfortable and at ease when they are by themselves, while extroverted individuals enjoy social interactions. In fact, both introversion and extroversion have their own advantages. There is a book called \"Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking\" which specifically discusses the strengths of introverted personalities. You mentioned that you like being alone but also fear how others perceive you. I think maybe you have an introverted personality; you feel more comfortable when you're alone. However, you also know that society has biases towards introversion, and you fear negative judgments about your preference for solitude, wishing to gain acceptance from others. But personality is difficult to change, and societal biases are hard to overcome, creating a seemingly contradictory situation. Perhaps you can find a balance point within this. Respect your own feelings while also making some concessions. You can spend most of your time alone but occasionally participate in group activities and engage in social interactions, so you don't completely isolate yourself from the community, and others won't perceive you as \"antisocial.\" Sending you a hug, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12567
       },
       {
        "question": "Sometimes, I am good at comforting others, but I don't know how to comfort myself when I'm sad.",
        "description": "I used to go out and have fun often, always laughing. Now I have a cold expression on my face. I don't know when I started to dislike smiling, I'm afraid of the dark but I like staying up late. I enjoy being in lonely places. I love listening to music, especially sad ones. It's like I am not myself again.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, psychological assessment.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Give you a big hug first~ Let's take a look at your problem: in the past, you used to smile a lot, but now you have a cold face and don't like to smile. As we grow older, we encounter more and more things, and face increasing pressure. We learn to hide our emotions and not show our joy or laughter. After doing this for a long time, we start to dislike smiling and forget how to smile. We are afraid of the dark but have the habit of staying up late. We like places with no people and find a sense of safety in the darkness and solitude. At this time, we are usually more sensitive, because we can let go of our pressure and masks, not having to consider others and can be our true selves. We are good at comforting others, but we don't know how to comfort ourselves when we are sad. They say that bystanders see more clearly than those involved. When a problem happens to someone else, we can think calmly and choose the most favorable method. But when we face our own pain, we tend to magnify it, trapping ourselves with our own unhappiness and discomfort. So what should we do? Remain calm and adjust our mindset. First, we need to adjust our mindset and give ourselves some time to regain composure when encountering something that makes us sad. Without being calm, we won't be able to find a solution. It is crucial to stay calm and adjust our mindset. Venting, just like how OP comforts others, OP can also seek comfort from others. Through venting, OP can relax their mood and perhaps find a solution from a friend. The above is just my personal opinion, hoping to help you. Take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ I completely understand how you feel. *hugs* I have also experienced similar feelings, where I am able to comfort others with ease, but when it comes to comforting myself, I am at a loss for words. Sometimes, I hear that bittersweet phrase, \"Since you are so good at comforting others, you must have also gone through many days of self-comfort.\" Slowly, I started to dislike smiling, my thoughts increased, and I began to feel more pressured... perhaps these changes are a proof of growth. But my kind friend, please don't lose the ability to be happy. Often, we need to change our perspective and look at everything happening to us in a different light. We need to find things that bring us joy and people who make us happy. Even if you like staying up late, make sure to take care of yourself. If you enjoy listening to sad songs, take a break and rest while listening to the music. Learn to treat each new day as a fresh start. Maybe yesterday was not particularly pleasant, and many unpleasant things happened, but don't let yesterday's unhappiness affect your life today. Sometimes, the sky may rain, and some people rush to wait for the rain to stop, while others take the opportunity to listen to the sound of raindrops, and some happily run into the rain laughing... there is always a positive side to everything. Let's look at that positive side together, and occasionally, if things don't go well, don't blame yourself. If you're feeling down, just wait a little while and then smile happily again. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "To help others without neglecting oneself, and as a doctor who does not treat oneself, no matter how reluctant we are to admit it, offering comfort, care, and support requires a certain amount of mental energy. Showing self-care is a kind thought towards oneself. As a helper, one becomes sensitive to the emotions of others and uses compassion to soothe them. This reminds me of a role: a ritualist. I wonder what image comes to your mind, but in my heart, the ritualist symbolizes the moon, dressed in a light blue robe. In the quiet of the night, I empty myself and pray to the moon. While providing warmth and healing to others, it also gives everyone the power and energy for self-healing, self-growth, and warming others. Giving too much requires giving oneself some space and time, perhaps to encounter other warm-hearted individuals who can provide strength. Rest is necessary after working so hard. I believe that you are still the person who radiates with a smile. May these words accompany you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5565
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I prioritize helping others or focus on myself?",
        "description": "I am someone who doesn't like to bother others, and also doesn't like others to bother me. In today's society, it is often emphasized that you should be yourself. Sometimes, I can't distinguish when I should stick to being myself and when I should help others. I don't want to help when others ask for it, but what should I do in the end? Should I help or just be myself? If I refuse to help with anything, surely nobody will like me. If I help, I feel annoyed and like I'm only pleasing others. How do I find the right balance?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "--Give the OP a big thumbs up. The OP has raised a thought-provoking question: when faced with things we don't want to help with in life, should we follow our hearts and learn to refuse? Or should we reluctantly help for the sake of maintaining harmony with colleagues? In this regard, I will share my humble opinion in the hope of inspiring the OP. 1. Stick to one's bottom line and principles: when faced with others' requests, many times we don't know whether we should do it or if it is the right thing to do. Therefore, we often feel conflicted, confused, and unsure. To eliminate this unpleasant mental state, my personal suggestion is that the OP needs to have a comprehensive understanding of themselves and clearly know what their bottom line and principles are, including what is not to be violated. With a bottom line and principles, when facing others' requests, we have a reference point to consult and judge right from wrong. If we cannot always follow our hearts and do everything as we wish, at least we can ensure that everything we do is right. This way, the inner conflict and confusion about handling things will also be reduced to some extent. 2. Learn to help others and enjoy being helped: #I am someone who doesn't like to trouble others, nor do I like to be troubled by others.# From the OP's description, it can be seen that the OP is a relatively independent person, so most of the time, they feel that they can be self-reliant and competent in everything without relying on others. However, the reality is that we live in society and no one can completely detach themselves from the community and be independent of the world. We always have to constantly adapt to others and help each other in our respective fields, growing together. While a person can certainly grow, a group of people can grow faster and go further. The OP must first recognize this and eliminate their resistance to mutual help and cooperation within the group. Many times, the insistence on being oneself or helping others is simply a bias in our thinking and cognition. Helping others may not bring immediate rewards, and it may make you feel like you're wasting time and life, and it's not even your own task, giving you a sense of \"irrelevance\" and rejection. However, the saying \"giving flowers to others leaves fragrance on one's hands\" is not empty talk. Helping others may not bring you immediate rewards, or you may never get any rewards in your lifetime, but perhaps it will give you a return at some moment in your life. Therefore, appropriately helping others is not against your heart, it is not a lack of perseverance in being oneself, but rather it broadens the scope of your life, making your life more meaningful and making the world a warmer place. If you change perspective, perhaps it won't be so difficult.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "This seems to be a choice. Throughout our lives, it seems that we are constantly oscillating between self and role, between freedom and conformity, between loneliness and relationships. There is no right or wrong, only choices, each corresponding to different experiences and outcomes. Being oneself is an important mission in our journey in this world. But what is oneself? How to be oneself? Indeed, these are topics that linger throughout our lives. Oneself, purely and clearly, free and transparent, seems to be such a simple existence. No matter if you are standing, walking, or sitting at this moment, no matter where you are. However, where can we find such purity? We are born helpless, we learn to walk unsteadily, we babble and learn to speak, we are small yet precious, and we have so many things that we cannot do on our own. We are always in relationships, even as the wind blows us into adulthood, our survival, our basic needs still rely on the relationships around us. A person is the sum of all social relationships. Freedom always exists relatively within a framework. Without problems, there are no relationships. Without relationships, we are stuck in place. Once we enter into relationships, freedom will disappear completely. We need to consider the current situation, the needs of the current relationships, the feelings of others, and so on. Should we rely on others or follow our inner truth? There is no right or wrong, only choices. Is life a play? In this grand play of life, whether smooth sailing or filled with difficulties, we must participate, whether we like it or not. Oneself, beyond everything and within nothing? After experiencing the years gone by, the only thing left is just an experience, whether it is sweet or bitter, varied flavors or mixed emotions, it is merely a series of precious and wonderful experiences. That's all. Hello, focus on personal growth, I am here, the world and I love you.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello! Warm hug to you. When I read your description, I feel that you are very anxious and conflicted. In fact, many things can be done following your heart. Instead of thinking too much about it, it's better to take action. For example, if you are someone who doesn't like to help others and also dislikes others helping you because you find it troublesome, then don't help! However, you also fear that others will distance themselves from you and neglect you, which makes you anxious. Based on the analysis above, it can be seen that: 1. You have confused the spirit of helping others with being true to yourself. Learn to differentiate it. If you help someone and receive gratitude or if the other person doesn't respond at all, that's the action of helping! It comes from the heart, an act of selfless dedication without expecting anything in return. This is different from what you think of as being true to yourself. Truly being true to yourself means being someone who can control themselves, propel themselves forward, and have their own thoughts and opinions. Helping others, on the other hand, is to some extent, an act of altruism, a polite gesture, and a virtue. 2. Reduce your fantasies and self-definitions. If you feel that helping others is troublesome or that it is a way to please others, these thoughts are not based on reality. The only time helping others might give a sense of pleasing others is when there is a purpose behind approaching and helping them. This is not unconditional help, it is maintaining a relationship. 3. Learn to understand that helping others is helping yourself. Everyone has different circles and environments. Perhaps by helping others in unfamiliar situations, they will also lend you a helping hand when you need it. No one can live independently without an organization or society. In summary, adjust your mindset. If it is not illegal or against discipline, help as much as you can. However, if it goes beyond the general limits of what people can handle, if the demands are too much or too high, then it should be decided based on the situation. I hope this sharing will be helpful to you!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I can really sense your emotions and dilemma through your words. It can be frustrating to help others while feeling burdened, but at the same time, not helping others may make you feel disconnected from society. However, humans are social beings and cannot live completely independently. We are interconnected with others in various ways, and there will be times when others seek help from us, just as we may seek help from others. You mentioned feeling like helping others is like seeking their approval. Let's differentiate between seeking approval and helping others: seeking approval involves acting out of fear of how others perceive us, offering help before being asked for it because of our own sensitive reactions. Helping others, on the other hand, is about providing assistance when others genuinely need it and willingly transmitting our own energy to them. Based on your words, it seems that you do not belong to the category of seeking approval. Therefore, you don't need to think this way and unnecessarily burden yourself. So, it's okay to help, but it depends on how you do it. Not everyone deserves to be helped. Some people, after receiving help, understand gratitude and acknowledge the good you have done for them, while others may burn bridges and make you feel unappreciated. When it comes to situations, it's important to assess your own capabilities. Some requests for help can be tackled appropriately, but there are cases where you can't help or where helping might backfire. It is important to consider the consequences. If you want to help others but are not in the right mood or not willing to lend a hand, even if you help, you won't find true happiness. In those situations, it's best to find polite reasons to decline. Wishing you well.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I am a people pleaser. As the saying goes, when you start pleasing others, you start offending the whole world. People cannot be pleased enough; the more you please, the more you get bullied. If it's among colleagues, you can assess if they are worth accommodating. If they are ungrateful and unreciprocating, you can politely decline by making up a plausible excuse. You don't have to worry about offending them because they won't remember your kindness even if you help them. Another type of people are genuine and honest individuals. If you genuinely like someone and they have a good heart and are reasonable, helping them would also mean they would help you. Only these people are worthy of your assistance.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, you are just like my former colleague in character, a typical people-pleaser. Because you feel uncomfortable refusing, others have gotten used to coming to you. Why do they come to you? Because you are easy to talk to and won't say no. How can we change this? First: put away your embarrassment and bravely say no. Secondly: abandon the fear of rejection and set clear goals! Thirdly: be brave in overcoming psychological barriers. Finally: if you achieve this, not only will your mind find balance, but you will also feel unprecedented relaxation in your body! Keep going, be brave and be yourself!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Dear: Hugs to you. Being able to ask this question, I can feel that you must be feeling tired recently. Since you mentioned \"helping,\" it means that this matter, or these matters, are not your obligation. Since it is not your obligation, then helping is a favor, and not helping is staying within your limits. If it is convenient for you and you are willing, then you can do it freely, according to your mood. If it is difficult and goes against your will, I think it is perfectly acceptable to politely and tactfully refuse, or directly and plainly tell the other person that you will help, but there are difficulties or inconveniences. This way, the other person will also understand your difficulties and it won't cause any estrangement. Hugs to you once again. It seems you have been feeling distressed lately. Be brave and refuse for the sake of your own heart, and love yourself and your body more. To put it succinctly, I don't want to be too verbose. Please bravely and wisely reject unreasonable demands. It is your right.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "This is a problem that many people might have, and it's indeed difficult to grasp and explain clearly. Each person has their own boundaries. Let me try to answer it. Generally, the people who have this confusion are those who don't have a deep understanding of themselves yet. That's why you might feel conflicted because of the seemingly contradictory statements in society. \"Nowadays, society says we should be ourselves...and not willing to help with anything, for sure nobody would like me.\" Seeing everything in a binary way is indeed a collective characteristic of our nation. Many times, we unconsciously use simple thinking such as right or wrong, good or bad, to judge. From the way you asked the question, it seems like you have set helping others and being yourself in opposition, but these two are not contradictory. Helping others doesn't hinder you from being yourself, and being yourself doesn't hinder you from helping others. When you help others, if there are \"emotions,\" carefully feel where these \"emotions\" come from. Are they truly detrimental to being yourself? Or are they from other reasons? Gradually, you will understand what you truly care about. Acting in order to appear as if you want to be yourself can be seen as imitation and becomes a laughingstock. By asking this question, it shows that you have already noticed that something is \"off.\" The road ahead is long, I will seek and explore from top to bottom. Keep it up, best wishes!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10945
       },
       {
        "question": "Diagnosed with Parkinson's disease 3 years ago, how to establish a good communication relationship with dad?",
        "description": "My father has been single all along. Three years ago, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and has been dealing with anxiety and depression. I feel like he rarely talks and is not particularly interested in conversations. I want to know how I can have a deeper connection with him.",
        "keywords": "Family, parental communication, family members' health.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I hope my answer can help you. It's tough for you, sending you a hug. Problem: Your father doesn't like to communicate with you much due to Parkinson's disease? Reason: Due to cell death, the brain of Parkinson's disease patients has difficulty transporting the neurotransmitter dopamine to the basal ganglia, resulting in basal ganglia dysfunction. Most people with Parkinson's disease are unable to produce dopamine. Dopamine, as another neurotransmitter in the brain, is also important for maintaining intimate relationships. So the reason why your father is not interested in chatting with you is because his illness prevents him from establishing an intimate relationship with you. Solution: Parkinson's disease has depressive symptoms, so it is important to seek medical help as early as possible, do early screening, and track the progress actively for treatment. You need to go to the hospital to evaluate the severity of your father's depression. If the symptoms are mild, he may need to take antidepressant medication. You should pay close attention to your father's depressive symptoms. If the severity of depression is high, the patient may have strong suicidal thoughts and behaviors. In addition to medication, psychological therapy is also necessary to increase the patient's awareness, adjust mindset, enhance and correct their understanding of the disease, and adopt an optimistic attitude towards the disease. It's really tough for you, so stay strong!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Many times, it's not that fathers don't want to communicate with us, but rather due to the influence of illness and some burdens in their hearts, they don't want to become a burden to their children. 1. Many parents don't want to be a burden to their children. People really can't avoid growing old, especially when they reach a certain age, the functions of their body will decline, and Parkinson's disease cannot be truly cured. It must be supplemented with medication. Therefore, fathers often cannot subjectively control their words and actions. So if there's a chance, we can spend more time talking with our father, reminiscing about the good times together, and let him know that we are always concerned about him. Sometimes we need to let our family members stay active. Once a person has nothing to do, they will start to overthink, especially when they can't do anything for their children. Parents often worry that they will cause trouble for their children, especially for those who have a strong personality, this is particularly serious. So what is the reason why father has remained single all these years? If it's for us, then sometimes we need to learn to help father open up his heart. 2. Give father some personal space. We care because we worry, and because we worry, we want to integrate faster. Father may have gotten used to being alone after all these years, so he tends to handle many things by himself. Therefore, based on father's personality and our usual interaction, we can analyze whether father has the ability to self-regulate. If necessary, we can take father to see a professional psychological counselor. At the same time, we can ask father what he is anxious and worried about, and we can discuss it together to see if there are better solutions. If necessary, let father make the decision himself, and we, as children, can play a supportive role. The world and I love you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I also sense your deep love and concern for your father, but Qianqian doesn't really understand Parkinson's, so I looked up some information. Parkinson's is a common neurodegenerative disease in middle-aged and elderly people, and it is also the most common extrapyramidal disease in this age group. The prevalence rate among people over 65 is 1,000 per 100,000, with slightly more males than females as age increases. The main clinical features of the disease are resting tremor, bradykinesia, increased muscle tone, and postural instability. Some nursing methods include: 1. Safety care: Due to these main features, many patients intentionally reduce their activities in order to minimize the risk of falls and other accidents. Therefore, it is important to create a safe environment for the patients, such as ensuring there are no obstacles on the ground and adding handrails in hallways to increase the safety of opening and closing doors. Items that can be grasped should be added in toilets and bathrooms to facilitate urination, defecation, and changing clothes. 2. Dietary care: Food should be diverse and soft, and small frequent meals are recommended. Grains, vegetables, fruits, and foods such as melon seeds, almonds, and black sesame that contain a lot of tyrosine, can promote the synthesis of levodopa and are the best food choices for patients. Due to swallowing difficulties, food should be cut into small pieces or ground. 3. Rehabilitation exercise care: This is important to prevent and delay joint stiffness and limb contractures. If conditions permit, activities such as practicing Tai Chi or taking walks can help patients move their joints and massage their limbs to promote blood circulation and prevent joint stiffness and limb contractures. Movements should be gentle. 4. Psychological care: Depression is the most common emotional disorder in people with Parkinson's disease, with a prevalence rate ranging from 40% to 50%. Although the rate of comorbid depression in Parkinson's disease is quite high, the treatment of depression is often overlooked in clinical practice. Therefore, it is important for families to give more care and communicate with warm language, understand his pain, and know the help he needs. Ask him questions like, \"How have you been feeling recently?\" \"Is there anything we can do to help you?\" \"Have you encountered any difficulties recently?\" Even though sometimes he may still lack facial expressions or may not say much, he can actually sense your care for him. After all, so much of it is conveyed through your words and actions.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! I completely understand how you feel, sending you a virtual hug. It's evident that you are a very filial child and deeply care about your father. You mentioned that your father was diagnosed with Parkinson's syndrome three years ago. I wonder if he has been actively receiving treatment? As far as I know, Parkinson's syndrome can be improved with medication. In terms of treatment, it would be helpful to talk to the treating doctor to understand the situation and encourage your father to seek treatment. Due to this condition, your father may not be able to have a normal conversation with you, what he needs the most is your understanding and care. Spend more time with him, even if there are moments of silence. Show more concern and ask him if there's anything he'd like to do or eat. Find out what he's interested in or if he would like to take walks around the neighborhood regularly, it can also be beneficial. I'm not entirely sure about your father's current condition, but I understand your desire to communicate with him normally. However, it's important to adjust your expectations based on the reality. Being there for him is the most caring thing you can do, perhaps he just wants to see you grow up healthy by his side. Best wishes!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, you are a filial child, and I admire you. I hope my answer can help you! Your dad has been single for a long time as you grew up, and he often neglects taking care of his family due to work. For your dad, he is aging in a relatively lonely environment. This is not a good thing for elderly people or those who are about to enter old age. After all, as we get older, our physical functions start to decline, and we need to adapt to the role transition and slowly accept that we are getting old. At this time, feeling lonely without anyone to accompany us in old age can be even more distressing. I suggest that when your dad's health improves, you should contact the community neighborhood committee and let your dad join their activities, interact more with people of his age, and participate in activities among peers. This will be beneficial for his physical and mental well-being. Seeking help, although your dad has been single, does he have close relatives or friends? You can seek their help because it may be overwhelming for you to take care of him alone, especially considering his current condition with anxiety, depression, and poor health. Having more family and friends visit him will make him feel valued and accompanied, providing him with comfort and strengthening his belief in recovery. How to have deeper communication with your dad? Communication and finding ways to get along between father and son are actually a long process of cultivation. You have been having this confusion of not knowing how to chat or have deep conversations, and I believe this is not a problem that can be solved in a day or two. Just as \"it takes years to freeze three feet of ice,\" the thawing process also takes time and effort. If you want to have deep communication and topics to talk about with your dad, you can try the following: 1) Find his interests and research them, then integrate into his routine to cultivate common topics. 2) Share your current situation. No dad doesn't want to know about his child, sometimes it's just a generation gap or not knowing where to start the conversation. So, you can proactively share your recent experiences and let your dad understand you, bringing you closer. 3) Encourage your dad to speak. In any relationship, there is always one person who is more enthusiastic and can set the mood. Since your dad doesn't talk much and you want to change this situation, you can try asking him questions and asking him more. Over time, as you ask more questions, naturally, there will be more conversations. Finally, I wish you and your dad a better relationship. Good luck!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I can feel your concern for your father, which reflects the deep bond between you as father and son. I hope you and your father can have a better life. Based on your description, I will share my personal opinion. Dealing with a father who has Parkinson's disease is extremely challenging for you. You are doing a dance with a storm. Hang in there! 1\u20e3\ufe0f Gain knowledge about Parkinson's disease. You can find reliable resources to learn about it and learn how to help manage the condition. (Each Parkinson's patient is different.) 2\u20e3\ufe0f Communicate openly with your father, which can help relieve emotions and avoid big emotional fluctuations caused by anger. Regularly communicate with doctors, as they can provide valuable information about Parkinson's disease and opportunities for treatment resources. (This advice is based on the experience of netizens on Zhihu.) 3\u20e3\ufe0f Take care of yourself while taking care of your father. When your own mindset is good, you will have a better mindset and more energy to take care of your father, which can further promote communication between you. 4\u20e3\ufe0f Encourage your father to participate in social activities. Finally, I hope your father's symptoms can gradually lessen or even recover completely. You are a young person who communicates with hearts. It's not easy to type all this out, so give it a thumbs up!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there: Sending you a warm hug. It's evident that you are a very filial child. I can understand your feelings. Our parents give us life and selfless love, but when they grow old and need us, there's often little we can do for them. I will do my best to answer your questions and hopefully provide you with some help. Parkinson's disease is primarily characterized by the degeneration and death of dopamine neurons in the substantia nigra of the brain. This leads to a significant decrease in dopamine content in the striatum, resulting in the symptoms of the disease. Parkinson's disease can have a significant impact on a person's daily life, such as limb stiffness, mobility difficulties, and facial masking. Patients may feel different from those around them and gradually develop negative emotions such as anxiety and depression. From what you've mentioned, your father has been living alone and was diagnosed with Parkinson's syndrome three years ago. He is currently experiencing anxiety and depression. Most of his anxiety likely comes from concerns about his own health. With so much uncertainty, it's understandable that he is anxious. I suggest you do some research on Parkinson's disease and provide your father with some knowledge about it. This way, he can have a better understanding of his condition and hopefully feel less anxious. I once had a severe case of chronic nephritis, and the doctor told me it was difficult to cure. If not properly controlled, it could lead to uremia. I was very scared at the time and felt anxious every day. Then I did a lot of research and gained a systematic understanding of the disease. As a result, my anxiety decreased, and with active cooperation with the doctor's treatment, I recovered in six months. Although it's difficult for Parkinson's disease to be cured, it can be managed with medication, so there's no need to be overly anxious. Now, let's talk about the communication issue with your father. Companionship is the most heartfelt declaration. Your father has been single for many years, and he must feel very lonely deep down. You should spend more time with him. During your conversations, you can update him about your current situation. Parents are most concerned about their children, and I don't believe for a moment that he has no interest in your life. Also, try to seek outside assistance. You can invite some old friends of your father's age to keep him company and engage in activities that he is interested in. Only people of the same generation truly understand their likes and thoughts. If his physical condition allows, take him out for a walk. Regularly seeing the outside world and the beauty of nature can help relax the mind.",
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        "questionID": 14681
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       {
        "question": "Broke up with my ex-girlfriend, feeling regretful and miserable, I even feel like I don't want to live anymore...",
        "description": "We were in an online relationship. After initially dating, we broke up, and then after two years, I went back to her to try and reconcile. At the beginning, I didn't really feel like I liked her when we broke up. This time around, we were doing well at first, and I treated her well. But later on, I became indifferent towards her, and she kept persisting. Then she suggested breaking up, and suddenly I felt regret. I regret not paying attention to her unhappiness, and not cherishing her properly. We've met in person. Now I feel very upset, to the point where I even have thoughts of dying. I feel so sorry for her.",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, and how to win back an ex.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Friend, hello! Facing a breakup with your girlfriend, your heart must be filled with immense sadness. It's clear that you also have deep regrets and hope to reconcile with her. However, it seems like you're also torn and unsure of how to have a good relationship with your girlfriend. It gives the impression that you need an intimate connection, but one that you must control. To put it simply, you should be there when you're needed and step back when you're not. (Of course, this is just my personal speculation, so please don't take it personally.) I want to suggest that in the realm of interpersonal relationships, perhaps you should first understand how you interact with others and what kind of relationship you want. By understanding your own inner needs, you can better handle situations. Do you agree? Additionally, if you truly feel sorry for your ex-girlfriend, would it be possible to do something to make amends? Even if you don't know if you can reconcile, at least letting her understand your feelings towards her can leave a better impression in both of your minds. After all, love is a destiny, regardless of whether you stay together or not. Lastly, I want to say that life is full of setbacks, occurring at all times. It's not just your experience, it's everyone's. Death is both a release and a way of letting go. Your expression of regret reminded me of a saying: the regrets of life come not from what you've done, but from what you haven't done. Regardless, the world and I love you.",
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        "questionID": 4404
       },
       {
        "question": "I always get involved in relationships that hurt me, what should I do?",
        "description": "Because since childhood at home, my parents did not respect my independence, liked to control, liked to blame with words, now I always make friends with people who have strong control desires and like to blame others. After making friends with them, I always get hurt in their words and actions. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, learn to see the world with your own eyes. While the environment can certainly influence our choices, when such choices harm us, we should know how to refuse. From your description, I can sense the conflicting and uncomfortable feelings you have when making friends. It may be due to the authoritarian and controlling education you received from your parents, which has shaped your character to be fragile and dependent. Being with friends of the same type may make you feel familiar and secure because you are being pushed and restrained, giving you a sense of care. Parenting styles cannot be changed overnight, but you still need to communicate and express your position and feelings to your parents, especially when you feel they do not respect you or blame you. Making mistakes can result in blame, but they should also listen to your feelings and thoughts. When you make a mistake, they should educate you on how to avoid similar ones in the future, rather than just blaming you. Therefore, you must learn to communicate and exchange ideas with your parents, gradually making them aware that you are not a tool to be manipulated by them but a person with your own feelings and thoughts, and that you also need encouragement and affirmation. It is essential to clarify your needs and boundaries in friendships, allowing for mutual tolerance and growth, but you should not suppress or hide your thoughts and be in a passive position. Ask yourself why you always make friends like this. What are the qualities that attract you to them, and what do you want to gain from these relationships? How do you truly feel when they control and blame you? Do you clearly express your feelings and reactions when their words hurt you? Perhaps you have become accustomed to being treated in this way, even though it causes you pain, and you may be unable to break free from this pattern, which is the issue you need to confront and change. Change your unreasonable beliefs; there are many ways in which the friends you make can show that they care for you. You should be equal and loving towards each other. You may have conflicts and make mistakes that hurt each other, but you should not always hide your wounds and suffer silently. Only you can change this situation, do not be afraid, action needs to be taken for things to change. Truly express yourself, value your feelings, whether with friends or parents. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16344
       },
       {
        "question": "Do all symptoms of depression match, does that mean it is definitely depression?",
        "description": "The condition will change in periods, sometimes it aligns with severe symptoms, sometimes it aligns with moderate symptoms, and in between there are a few days of normalcy.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first let me give you a hug and support for your confusion. I'm not sure if you are talking about these symptoms in yourself or someone else? According to the latest version of DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition), depressive disorders include major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder. The diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder are as follows: A. Presence of five or more related symptoms during the same 2-week period, representing a change from previous functioning, with at least one of the symptoms being (1) depressed mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure. B. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. C. The symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance or another medical condition. It can be seen that the diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder can be viewed from three aspects: symptom criteria, time criteria, and functional criteria. Simply looking at the time criteria, it requires \"at least the same 2-week period,\" while you mentioned that \"the condition changes in different periods,\" and \"there are a few normal days.\" Based on the statements you described, if it is about yourself and you are still able to seek help online, it indicates that social functioning is not significantly impaired. Therefore, the statement in your title that \"all symptoms of depression match\" is not accurate. From the information currently provided, there is not enough evidence to suggest that it is major depressive disorder, let alone stating that it is definitely major depressive disorder. However, similar symptoms may indicate the presence of depressive emotions. It is recommended to seek professional diagnosis from a specialized hospital and treat accordingly based on the professional diagnosis and the advice of a doctor. I hope my answer can provide you with some advice and thoughts. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, according to the answers provided, it appears that your current symptoms are consistent with the symptoms of depression. Additionally, the intermittent nature and diverse manifestation of these symptoms may indicate a combination of various conditions. The questions raised are concise, and we need a more in-depth understanding. I would suggest that you go to a hospital for psychological diagnosis. It would be better for a doctor to have a face-to-face consultation to accurately determine the specific situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10953
       },
       {
        "question": "Does the control of sexual desire depend on having a correct understanding of oneself?",
        "description": "\"The control of sexual desire lies in having a correct understanding of oneself. If one cannot have a clear understanding of one's own perceptions and needs regarding sex, it is naturally impossible to control oneself in this area or there will indeed be situations where one cannot control it, even though they may have a good understanding of sex, but lack understanding of oneself.\"",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexual desire, confusion, messiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sexual desire is the result of the comprehensive interaction of various factors. Not only are factors such as thinking, consciousness, emotions, and environment related to sexual desire, but language, words, pictures, and music also have a significant impact on it. On the surface, men's sexual desire seems stronger than women's because women who take the initiative in sexual activities are relatively rare. This is influenced by both physiological and psychological factors. Many women are accustomed to repressing their sexual needs, so in most cases, men appear more proactive in expressing their sexual desire than women. However, this does not mean that men's sexual desire is stronger than women's. First, when your sexual desire arises, you should learn to be aware of its presence. Second, you should accept it. You can handle it through self-deprecation or use methods to divert your attention and ignore it. Third, you should tell yourself to let go of it. Perhaps what I am about to say may be difficult for you to understand, but you can carefully consider it: is the arousal of sexual desire a separate entity from the arousal of your emotions? If you are angry, your body also feels uncomfortable; if you are sad, there is also a dual reflection of emotions and the body. In fact, sexual desire is also an emotion. Therefore, you can also let go of it. There are many ways to do this, such as reciting mantras or meditating, observing your breath, or entering your own inner world. Once you let go of various emotions (including sexual desire) and enter the deeper level of your being, you will discover a new world where everything is calm and yet full of vibrant colors. It is better than shallow sex and ordinary emotions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, how are you? Seeing words is like seeing each other. My understanding of this statement is: You should have a correct understanding of sexuality and understand yourself correctly. First of all, sexuality is not everything in life. If one is frequently addicted to sex, it can easily ruin a person. On the other hand, for many people, sex is essential. Don't think that discussing these things is shameful. We should look at it with the right perspective. So, what does understanding yourself mean? First, you need to understand what kind of person you are. What does sex mean to you? What are your goals? How much energy do you put into sex? Learn to face all of this instead of avoiding it. For any mistakes you have in this area, correct them if you have them and strive for improvement if you don't. By doing all this, you will successfully understand sex and yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5457
       },
       {
        "question": "What causes anxiety? Why is it always present?",
        "description": "Students will feel anxious before exams, anxious while writing papers, and anxious when looking for jobs. Pregnant women will feel anxious about giving birth and will continue to feel anxious after having a child. So what exactly is anxiety for individuals? Why does it persist at all times?",
        "keywords": "Emotion, anxious emotion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Anxiety is a state of sustained tension. We feel anxious because we care about the final outcome, crave praise and recognition, and strive for excellence. There are too many uncertainties in anything we do, and we cannot guarantee success. Although anxiety can cause discomfort, mild discomfort confirms our importance. Mild anxiety can also motivate us to move forward, to gather energy and face the challenges with all our might, resulting in exceptional performance. Anxiety actually signifies the presence of a crisis, and sometimes a crisis can be an opportunity, inspiring our unlimited potential.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15611
       },
       {
        "question": "Female, 11, the age of carefree elementary school yet always suffering from insomnia?",
        "description": "Since I was a child, I always had a habit of digging deep into questions. Whenever I think about something, even after I've figured it out, I continue to think about other things related to it. If no one interrupts me, I can spend a whole day just thinking. I only noticed this pattern in the past few years. I began using this pattern to combat nightmares. The method I used was forcing myself to change my thoughts and not think about things that would cause nightmares, but rather focus on other interests. This method stopped working two years ago. No matter what, I would always think about scary things, and then it became uncontrollable. It was difficult to forcibly change my thoughts, and I couldn't describe the discomfort I felt. I would also get headaches. Once the lights were off and I went to sleep, everything I saw reminded me of something scary. Taking a nap during the day didn't affect me, and everything was smooth sailing when the lights were on at night. The only way I could sleep peacefully was staying up late to read novels or sleeping with someone else. However, if I fell asleep by myself, I would worry about not being able to sleep and having random thoughts. I think I might have some mental or psychological problems, such as delusional disorder, because I tend to overthink a lot. In my daily life, I have a lot of internal struggles, and not only do I tend to overthink, but I also always think about the worst case scenarios. I should be carefree at this age, still in primary school, but I keep experiencing these phenomena. I am very scared, should I see a psychologist or something?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, treatment methods, mental disorders.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, it shows that you are a focused person. There are fewer and fewer people who can concentrate like you these days. After reading your situation, it seems that you tend to think of negative things at night, but when you sleep with someone else or fall asleep, you don't experience this. Taking a nap also doesn't affect you. Maybe it's because you're afraid of being alone in a dark environment. Thinking a lot and having an active mind is not a bad thing. Feeling afraid and thinking of negative things in a dark environment is not delusional. Maybe you can ask your parents to turn off the lights after you fall asleep. Maybe you can try to overcome the fear that the darkness brings you. Perhaps after turning off the lights, try listening to relaxing music, close your eyes, and slowly ease into sleep. In time, you may become desensitized to the dark environment. Maybe after thinking of something negative, you'll open your eyes and realize that nothing actually happened in reality. Those thoughts were all fake, and maybe you will gradually overcome your fear. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11491
       },
       {
        "question": "It is better to have some activity in the room in order to feel more at ease. Why do you feel exceptionally scared when you are alone?",
        "description": "In recent days, I have been at home by myself. My childhood experience was mostly that I felt like a very bad child. I had a bad temper as a child and offended many people around me. Maybe because of this, I have no ability to handle things. Recently, at home during the day, I feel dull and the only thing that brings me some peace is watching TV. Otherwise, I feel uncomfortable and start having random thoughts. This goes on every day until I can't bear it anymore and go to sleep late at night. At night, I have a sense of fear, like being afraid of the dark, feeling depressed, and having a feeling of fear. In short, I need some movement or noise in the room to feel more at ease. Now I can't concentrate on studying or doing things anymore. Can you please tell me what should I do? Are there any material or psychological methods?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, hypochondria, chaos",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. The ability to be alone needs to be cultivated over a long period of time, and it does not mean that a person should always live alone at home, but rather that one can spend time alone as well as integrate into a group. Many adults cannot tolerate living alone for a long time, let alone a child. Fear of darkness and fear of being alone at home are instinctual fears we had as children because we fear danger, being abandoned, and not being liked by our parents. This is a normal situation and can be gradually overcome, so don't worry. I suggest that during the day, you take care of your studies, you can play soft music or turn on the TV with a low volume, so that you won't be easily affected, or open the window to let in the outside sounds, to establish a connection between yourself and the surrounding environment, rather than being isolated alone. Watching TV all the time is a way to avoid the situation, making yourself numb and no longer have fear and worry in your heart. However, the more you watch TV, the more difficult it will be for you to face problems and the more restless and uncontrollable you will become. I have also had similar experiences. When I was young, I used to live in a place with the TV on with a loud volume, all doors and windows open, as if only in this way I would feel a little \"lively\" and being paid attention to. When you go to sleep, soak your feet, then play some music, set a time, and try to remember some happy things to slowly fall asleep. You can also try this method, or find a suitable method on your own, to make yourself feel better. When you are alone, you must give yourself some positive suggestions or find joy in your daily life, such as raising plants and meditating or painting, practicing calligraphy, reading, or doing other things that can make you calm down. The most important thing is to make sure you eat well, have a balanced diet, buy groceries yourself, and learn to cook some dishes. Ensure the quality of your sleep, do not indulge yourself just because there are no restrictions, and never stay up late or pull an all-nighter. It is best to maintain the same state as when you are with your family or at school, to live a disciplined life, rather than resting whimsically for a week and then trying hard for two or three days. I hope you can find joy in living alone at home, and I hope you can have a happy and fulfilling time during this period. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20771
       },
       {
        "question": "I am homosexual and want to come out to my family, but I am afraid. I feel very repressed. What should I do?",
        "description": "It was okay before I realized I was gay. Suddenly one day, I discovered that I am gay and I also have feelings for a girl. I want to come out to my family, but they have more traditional and conservative beliefs, so they may not accept it. I am starting to feel anxious now. I have trouble sleeping, and I am losing a lot of hair. I also have difficulty controlling my temper. I get angry every day and often feel chest tightness and unexplained fear. I frequently start crying for no reason. I thought it was a physical problem, but I have been checked many times and nothing is wrong. Now, what should I do...",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the topic owner. In your description, I can see your worries and anxiety about this matter. Having feelings for someone and exploring your own sexual orientation should actually be a happy thing. However, because your parents are more traditional and the current situation of same-sex relationships in society is not that optimistic, it is understandable that you have such concerns and anxiety. Moreover, parents' opinions and thoughts are very important to everyone. Especially when it comes to love and choosing a future partner, these \"life-changing events\". If you can gain their understanding and blessings, it will definitely make your future life much easier. From your description, there isn't much information about it. I don't know if you have tried to communicate with them and what their feedback was. I also don't know if you are still in school or already working. Could it be that your parents' disagreement is because they are worried that such a relationship, which may not be widely accepted by society, would make your future life difficult? Regardless of how old your child is, parents may always feel that they need to be taken care of. And for parents who are more traditional, they may feel that for girls, marrying a suitable person of the opposite sex is a \"normal\" way to improve their lives. If you are already an adult and have the ability and right to decide what kind of partner you want and what kind of life you want, it is just that liking the same sex is completely different from the cognitive of traditional parents, so accepting it may be more difficult for them. It might be better to slowly let them know that liking someone can actually be independent of gender, and let them gradually understand that liking the same sex is not a strange thing. At the same time, work hard and manage your own life well, let your parents see that you are already an adult and can take care of your own life, and let them feel that you have the ability to handle the things you will face in the future, as well as the pressure you may encounter in society. I believe that parents definitely hope that their children can live a better and easier life, which is why they want to demand it in a way they consider to be right. If you can see the concerns behind your parents' disagreement, then take care of your own life first, and then patiently communicate with them. The result will definitely change. If what they see is that you have been anxious and unhappy because of this matter, they may become even more determined that their ideas are right. Coming out of the closet is really a patient process. To make parents change their ideas and beliefs that they have firmly believed in for decades is even more difficult. Therefore, take care of your own life first. Also give yourself some time to clarify your thoughts, think about what your parents' agreement and approval mean to you, and how important they are. Then, with your determination and efforts, show your parents your growth and determination. I believe that the situation will definitely improve.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I completely understand your current feelings of helplessness. You have met someone you like, but your shared gender is hindering your relationship from progressing. However, the issue of being of the same gender is no longer a problem in today's society, which is increasingly accepting of same-sex relationships. Therefore, this shouldn't be causing you such distress. The biggest problem is that your family may not accept you for being your true self. Sexual orientation is something innate and cannot be changed. Although your family holds traditional beliefs, it is not impossible for their mindset to change. You are caught between love and family, and the internal conflict is causing you anxiety, which is manifesting in physical symptoms. Your body is already warning you. It requires you to make a decision as soon as possible. Being anxious about the problem alone is not very meaningful; what we need to do is to contemplate how to solve it. Let's clarify your goal first -- you have found love and your goal is to obtain love. Your family is the obstacle you encountered, and it is the problem you need to address. If you are willing to disregard everything for love, then naturally you won't need to consider these problems and can bravely be yourself. However, you have been influenced by your family's traditional and ingrained thinking since childhood, and this thinking is somewhat restraining you, making it difficult for you to muster the courage. When you mentioned \"not daring,\" I knew it was the result of your family's ongoing suppression, which I truly sympathize with. I think what you should consider is not your family, but your own life. Are you willing to sacrifice your entire life for your family? This might be a choice because there are already many people who sacrifice themselves out of fear. If you want to have love, if you want to have the life you desire, then you must stand up for yourself! Ask yourself -- what do I truly want? Uphold family traditions? Or the life I want? This decision belongs to your own life. If you want love, then you cannot avoid confronting your family. I hope you can come up with clever methods to persuade your family. If you want your family, then upholding the family legacy will become your mission. May your family be worthy of your sacrifices and everything you give. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ \u203b From OP's description, I understand that after realizing being homosexual, they really want to come out, but because their family has a more conservative traditional mindset and cannot accept it, they are now becoming restless, experiencing insomnia, hair loss in large amounts, and losing control of their temper. They get angry every day, often experience chest tightness and inexplicable fear, and often start crying for no reason. OP's condition should be caused by psychological reasons. They want to come out but are afraid that their family will not agree. This conflicting feeling has resulted in a psychological imbalance, leading to physical reactions. In contemporary society, although homosexuality is gradually being accepted by others, this group of people is mainly concentrated among young people. For the older generation, homosexuality is still unacceptable. However, everyone's sexual orientation is difficult to change. This is your only life, and how you balance this issue may determine your future direction. The best method, of course, is to communicate with your family and try to gain their understanding. But if you are extremely sure that your family will not accept it, you can choose to deceive them indirectly. However, this lie may require a great deal of effort to make up for, or it may likely be uncovered. Some people are born with unique existences, and such people are often not understood by others. Perhaps you are one of them! Although we want to be obedient children, sometimes there may be conflicting beliefs between insisting on oneself and being filial to parents. At this time, the best choice is to make the most comfortable choice for yourself! Respect your own heart and don't let yourself continue to be in an unhappy situation! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7322
       },
       {
        "question": "Studying abroad, always feeling like having few friends and feeling lonely, what should I do?",
        "description": "I am a international student studying abroad, and maybe there were some issues with my social interactions before, so I feel that there aren't many people I can hang out with and go out together, maybe just one or two. So I often use social networking apps to meet new people, but most of them are just one-time encounters and not long-lasting. And recently, the pandemic has worsened, and I have to stay indoors. I live alone, so the feeling of loneliness becomes even stronger. When I see others posting on social media, like having friends over for dinner or going on trips, I feel really envious. I start wondering why no one invites me, why do I have to actively ask others to do things with me. Sometimes, I just feel tired, lost, and I don't have many channels to make friends... I read some advice telling me to find something I enjoy doing, but even when I do, these problems still come to mind and it's really frustrating. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, classmate. Regardless of which stage of life we are in, we must face and understand the meaning of \"loneliness\" as a topic for personal growth. Loneliness is not entirely negative or scary. When we no longer reject or fear it, and choose to enjoy loneliness, it can bring surprises. It may help us see ourselves more clearly, or inspire creativity, or make it easier to understand the lessons of growth. Furthermore, the existence of loneliness does not disappear just because we have friends. I hope you understand that. \"I am an international student studying abroad. It may be that there were some issues with my socializing methods before, and I feel that there aren't many people I can meet up with and hang out together, maybe one or two at most.\" What I am even more curious about is what you mean by \"issues with socializing methods\". In fact, maintaining interpersonal relationships can sometimes be simple and sometimes complex. It depends not only on whether personalities, upbringing, and values align, but also on whether both parties have the same level of commitment to maintaining the relationship and whether they can accept the costs of maintaining it. In terms of your circle of international students, most cities have channels for Chinese students to meet and organize gatherings and activities. So, if you really want to have friends, you can also proactively make friends through these channels. You have one or two companions, but no one to share your innermost thoughts with. I suggest you think about what is preventing you from establishing deeper connections with others. \"So I often use social networking apps to meet new people, but most of the time, it's just one-time encounters, and it's not long-lasting. And recently, the pandemic has worsened, and I have to stay in my room. I live alone, so the feeling of loneliness has become even stronger. When I see others posting on their social media, hanging out with their friends or going on trips, I feel envious and wonder why no one invites me or why I have to ask around to find someone to do something together. Sometimes I feel tired and lost, and I don't have many avenues to make friends.\" The reason why the people you meet through social networking apps are not long-lasting is because neither party has the intention to continue the relationship. In other words, your desire for friends may not be as strong and urgent as you imagine. This is something you need to think about. You envy the friendships of others and want to passively receive the kindness of friends. But have you realized that every relationship requires effort and maintenance? When you see others with companionship, it's because both parties have sacrificed their own boundaries to maintain that relationship. Perhaps they have sacrificed their time, energy, or money. If these sacrifices are inevitable in any interpersonal relationship, would you still choose to make friends? You can ask yourself that question. You mentioned that you need someone to accompany you in doing things, but you should also recognize your own abilities. In life, 90% of things can be done independently, and in case it's not possible, businesses now have amazing customer service. Many needs can be met just by speaking up, and there are plenty of people who can help. Of course, what I want to express is not a rejection of making friends but to tell you that you have great potential within yourself and there is plenty of support in society. You don't have to be overly anxious just because you don't have friends and let it affect your self-worth. Interpersonal relationships are indeed important, but they are not the most important thing. Having companionship can enhance happiness, but every thing has its pros and cons. Maintaining relationships comes with its own troubles, and so does loneliness. It's hard to say which is better. Which one do you think is better? \"I see suggestions about finding things I enjoy doing, but even when I do those things, I still think about these problems and it bothers me. What should I do?\" You have things you enjoy doing, but even when you do them, you are not fully focused because you are bothered by \"not having friends\". What is the root cause of this bother? Is it because I don't have friends, so I am not as good as others? Or is it that I don't have friends, so it must be my own fault, and I am just incompetent? Do you truly want friends, or do you simply not want to face life's challenges alone? I hope you can think it through. Loneliness is a constant in everyone's life. Sometimes it's internal loneliness, sometimes it's a lack of people around us. Acknowledging it is the first step, and embracing rather than fighting it is the second step. By embracing loneliness, we can receive its gifts and feel more fulfilled internally. Keep going! Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Haruki Murakami said, \"No one likes loneliness, they just don't make friends easily. That's how it ends up being disappointing.\" Loneliness is something that everyone has to face--yes, everyone! Writer Qijinnian said, \"Perhaps a person needs to go a long way and experience countless sudden prosperity and desolation in life to become mature.\" First, we need to realize that loneliness doesn't only happen to us, it often appears and it's not scary. Love and loneliness are actually the same emotion, they go hand in hand and cannot be separated. The more we feel lonely, the stronger our desire for love becomes. So, when we feel lonely, it may be because we haven't temporarily felt loved by someone, or there's no one to love. Establishing some good social relationships can greatly alleviate your sense of loneliness. People often regard \"socializing\" as a skill but overlook the fact that \"being alone\" is also a skill, and in a certain sense, it is even more important than socializing. If being unable to socialize well is a weakness in character, then not being able to tolerate loneliness is simply a deficiency in the soul. Don't reject it, instead, focus on managing your own life and interpersonal relationships well, and loneliness will quietly go away. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand how you feel being abroad with no close relatives. Here's a warm hug for you. Being abroad is different from being in your home country. In your home country, you have familiar places, familiar family and friends, but when you go abroad, many people need to readjust. Firstly, analyze the situation - there may have been some issues with your social interactions before, feeling that there aren't many people to meet up and hang out with, maybe only one or two. I wonder what issues you have encountered in your social interactions? Have you analyzed and reflected on them? In my opinion, it's not about having many friends, having one true friend is enough! It's not about quantity, but about usefulness, trustworthiness, and being able to confide in each other. The pandemic has worsened, we can only stay indoors. I still live alone, so that feeling of loneliness becomes even stronger. However, there's actually nothing serious about feeling lonely. Heidegger once said, \"Man exists in the world, and exists alone. Our existence is our own business, no one can replace us, no one can live our lives for us, and no one can face death on our behalf. Each person's existence is unique.\" Therefore, don't feel lonely. Loneliness is also a form of growth. When faced with loneliness in life, it provides you an opportunity to make choices, allows you to balance and adjust, and makes you feel at ease in life, just like a fish in water. It's a self-reliant and independent attitude towards life, which makes you realize what you truly need and don't need, and focus on life and work, elevating yourself. Some people live a fulfilling life, and it can be equally exciting. Why no one invites me, and why do I have to ask around to find someone to accompany me when I want to do something? In fact, friendships are similar to relationships, they require mutual effort. Some friends are naturally more passive, so it's okay for us to take the initiative. Here are a few suggestions: Understand loneliness correctly and enrich yourself. Don't think that being alone means feeling lonely. Choose a lifestyle that suits you and live a clear and fulfilled life, then it will be exciting. Find the reason. You often mention that it's difficult to make friends. Have you thought about the reasons behind that? Reflect on them, find the reasons, and then find ways to overcome them. Actively participate in social activities. If there aren't many opportunities to make friends, you can actively participate in social activities. There must be events at school, so join in actively and give yourself a chance to make friends. Set a plan and find your own value. Set a daily plan, read a certain number of pages, learn a certain number of words, exercise for a certain amount of time, try cooking new dishes, learn new skills, and find your own value. It will help you understand yourself better and strengthen your self-identity.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Well, the pandemic does have a big impact on people's lives, not just you, but everyone in the country is facing these trends. Another thing is that the online circle makes things easier, while the real-life circle becomes smaller. Everyone has a defensive mindset and it's hard to fully trust others. So it's difficult to maintain long-term relationships. However, it still depends on your own judgment. If you truly feel that a friend is worth having, then you should invest more time and effort into getting to know them, just be cautious with financial transactions and ensure your safety. Now let's analyze the problem: 1. You are an international student studying abroad, and maybe there were some issues with your previous social interactions, finding people to hang out with and go out with wasn't easy, maybe just one or two people. (Being an international student is not easy, being alone in a foreign country can be very lonely. It would be great to have one or two friends to connect with, it's about quality, not quantity. A social app is just one way to socialize, it's not a big deal, just be mindful of your safety.) 2. So you often use social apps to meet new people, but most of the connections are short-lived. And lately, with the pandemic getting worse, you have to stay inside, and since you live alone, the feeling of loneliness is even stronger. (If social apps can bring you temporary happiness with friends, that's fine, but it depends on what you really want. If you want long-term friendships, social apps may not be reliable, it's not that people are unreliable, it's that their mentality is not reliable, no one is interested in long-term connections, everyone is guarded. The pandemic is affecting not only overseas but also in the country, during this time when you can't go out and hang out, you can still engage in online activities and personal hobbies. For example, some people draw, cook, play musical instruments, read books in certain areas. Many people are learning new skills during this period. For example, I am learning financial management skills, which brings me happiness and enjoyment.) 3. When you see others posting on Moments, one friend comes over for dinner, another goes on a trip, you feel envious and wonder why no one invites you and why you need to actively ask people to hang out. (As long as you want, it's possible, so there's nothing to be upset about, right? If they don't invite you, don't you also not invite them? Some people enjoy being alone, while others enjoy being with a group. If you really like having company, then invite others, I believe you can find someone to hang out with. Yes, if you don't ask, others won't know that you have a need.) 4. Sometimes you feel exhausted, lost, and don't have many channels to make new friends... You read some suggestions that you should engage in activities you enjoy, but even when you do them, you still think about these problems and it bothers you. What should you do? (Well, it's natural to feel tired because you're trying to compete with yourself... If you still think about these things while doing activities, it means you don't really like them, you're just pretending. Of course, you won't enjoy it. Don't be upset, it's totally normal. Once you find something you truly enjoy, you won't feel bothered. Immersing yourself in an activity is a process. Some people like doing things with a group, while others prefer doing things alone. Just do what you prefer. If you really don't want to, then it's just a battle with yourself, not any other problem.) Conclusion: Wishing you happiness and joy! May you understand yourself sooner! If you have any confusion, feel free to private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear. Living abroad and being far away from family and old friends, it's natural to feel lonely when living alone. I completely understand your feelings. Loneliness is a problem that everyone faces. You mentioned being envious of others' posts on social media, envying others being invited by friends, and envying others traveling. But in reality, these are just the good moments that everyone likes to show. When you can't see them, others also have moments of loneliness. Loneliness is a very normal emotion. Learning to accept it, everyone will experience loneliness. No one can always live in a lively environment. The key is how we view loneliness with the right mindset. Learn to accept it, adapt to being alone, without the disturbance of others, and enjoy the process of solitude. Be proactive. Friendship requires effort and maintenance. You mentioned trying to meet people through social media, but they don't last. Have you thought about the reasons why these relationships end after just one meeting, and how to maintain friendships? Continuously analyze and summarize. Take the initiative to meet people with similar interests, integrate into certain social circles, and stay active and positive. Be proactive in interacting with others. While accepting the goodwill of others, also understand the importance of giving. You don't need a lot of friends, but you should treat each one seriously. Change your perspective on loneliness and let it flow naturally. Is life lonelier when living alone or in a bustling crowd? What is the definition of loneliness? Is it just having someone around or someone who understands you? Thoreau wrote in \"Walden\": \"I found that to be alone was still more wearisome than to be in company, for conversation. I love to be alone, I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.\" So what is loneliness? As we experience more in life, our mindset will change. Don't actively seek friends, live your own life well, and let things happen naturally. I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Sending you a big hug. After reading your description, I can feel your helplessness and loneliness. Studying abroad is not an easy task. But remember, we are born to be alone, and we must face loneliness with courage and find ways to overcome it. In a foreign country, to have true friends, we can be more proactive. It's okay to ask for help and don't always feel burdened. Ask more questions, seek help occasionally, and respond with a small gesture of gratitude. This will make people think highly of you and be willing to socialize. It's best to expand your social circle and once you have made friends, put effort into maintaining those relationships, reciprocate kindness, and help each other. You can also read some books on socializing to learn and make progress more efficiently. Wishing you happiness and joy!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to \"meet\" you here. Your friend Qi Qi is here to greet you \ud83e\udd17. I hope to provide you with help through words: I believe you have heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow believes that human needs consist of five levels: physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. Love and belonging needs refer to the emotional connections and relationships people establish with others. We need to make friends and pursue love. When this need is not fulfilled, it can make us feel lonely and isolated. Especially for you, who are studying abroad, it must be difficult without familiar people and things around you. Also, for various reasons, our social interactions may not be going smoothly, and it must be tough for you. \ud83e\udd17 Here's a virtual hug for you. Know that we are here for you, we are your friends who love you. In fact, loneliness is also a path to maturity. During the process of being alone, we can try to reduce restlessness. Just as Feng Zikai said: \"Do not be disturbed by emotions, do not fear the future, do not dwell in the past, so be it.\" What we really need to do is to truly understand ourselves. But that doesn't mean we should avoid socializing. As you mentioned, you've met some people through social apps, but most of them were short-lived and not lasting. I wonder if you've encountered any problems in offline socializing. We can socialize partially online and partially offline. But what's more important is being sincere in our interactions with others, and constantly enriching ourselves based on their interests. Because people are usually attracted to each other due to similarities, interesting qualities, or mutual benefits. Either we have similar hobbies and interests with others, or we are \"useful\" to them, they can see something novel or learn something from us. To achieve this, we need to improve ourselves and become more interesting. And what we need is initiative. Write a letter or send a message to friends you haven't talked to in a long time, call some relatives, invite colleagues for a cup of coffee, or participate in activities you usually don't dare or feel too lazy to join. Instead of relying on others' advice, it's better to take action and practice it yourself. So go ahead and face your fears and do what you want. I believe that with your genuine and sincere efforts, you will find the people who can accompany you, bring you joy, and travel with you. Wishing you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey dear, have you ever asked yourself why you are so eager to connect with others? Why are you so afraid of being alone? Is it because you think everyone else has a group, and you're afraid of being abandoned or not liked? We crave connection with others, we fear loneliness because maybe we don't have a stable long-term relationship. In such a stable relationship, we don't have to fear being abandoned, worry about not being liked, or be afraid of doing something wrong. It is precisely because we lack this stable connection that we try to compensate with many shallow relationships, just like what you described: \"often using social networking apps to meet people, but most of them end after one meeting.\" Actually, building relationships and intimacy takes courage and requires self-exposure. In this process, we may also fear not being accepted and getting hurt. Are you willing to take the risk of being hurt? If you find a long-lasting and stable relationship, congratulations, you are lucky. When a person is loved, they don't care about others' opinions and don't feel lonely. Just like a couple in love, they can openly kiss on the street without any worries. To break free from this feeling of loneliness, you can try to take the initiative and seek out potential connections. At the same time, try to maintain a relatively long-term and stable relationship with them. Meanwhile, be mentally prepared that: 1. In this relationship, I might get hurt. 2. In this relationship, I might be abandoned. 3. But for this intimate relationship, I am willing to take these risks. If you are ready, take action!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the main problem you are currently facing is feeling lonely because you think you have few friends. To make new friends, you need to spend more time socializing and treating people kindly. If you are a student, try sitting at a table with other people instead of alone. You might want to be friends with popular people, but true friends are rare and can last a lifetime. Sometimes, even popular people can become your friends once they get to know you. Joining organizations or clubs with shared interests is also a great way to meet new people. Social networking sites like Facebook, Weibo, and WeChat can also help you make new friends. When talking to strangers, you can ask if they have a Facebook account or what their username is on Weibo. Temples and churches are also great places to meet new friends since you share the same religious beliefs. Joining sports clubs is another option, as not all sports are competitive, and supporting your teammates can help you make friends. If you play a musical instrument or enjoy singing, joining a band or choir is also a good idea. Volunteering can also help you meet people from different age groups and find like-minded individuals. When participating in social activities like joining clubs, going to church, or attending school, take the initiative to initiate conversations. However, if you don't speak up, you won't make friends. Don't be picky and try to talk to anyone. Even a brief chat with someone can lead to a lifelong friendship. Smile more and make eye contact, as your body language can affect how approachable you appear to others. Don't be detached, frown, or have a vacant gaze. Stand in the corner with crossed arms. Your body language sends signals that you don't want to talk to others. Initiative is essential, and casual topics like weather, asking for help, or compliments can help you start conversations. Pay attention to the 30-70 rule, speaking 30% of the time and listening 70% of the time. Remember to leave your name after a conversation ends. You can simply say, \"By the way, my name is...\" Usually, if you introduce yourself, the other person will also introduce themselves. Remembering people's names and previous conversations shows that you are attentive, and people will be more willing to befriend you. Creating opportunities for future meetings is also important. Even if you have a deep conversation, one interaction is not enough to become friends. Therefore, actively suggest future activities or events. If you find common interests, ask if they are part of any related organizations or clubs. If they are, ask how to join, as this is a great opportunity to make more friends. If you manage a club, church, or have a band, and you find someone suitable, you can also leave your phone number or email address and invite them to join. Inviting someone to lunch or afternoon tea allows for more time to get to know each other. Say something like, \"Hey, I have to go, but let's exchange phone numbers/email addresses and find a time to have lunch or tea together.\" Even if the other person doesn't leave their contact information, at least you have created an opportunity for them to contact you. Leaving your contact information with potential friends can lead to unexpected results. Don't force someone to be your friend just because they didn't invite you to a party. Don't repeatedly call them or visit them frequently. Don't overstay your welcome. Developing a friendship takes time and shouldn't be rushed. If you are unsure about the stage of your friendship, you can ask the person directly. Pushing for a friendship too quickly or demanding too much can make people feel overwhelmed and push them away. Cherish those friends who bring positive energy into your life and strive to bring positive energy to others. Show your unique and outstanding qualities. Are you humorous? If yes, congratulations. Funny people can create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere for conversations, and people enjoy being around positive individuals. If your sense of humor is dark, it's best to let people know in advance that you enjoy joking, so as not to cause any discomfort. People may also be interested in you because of your uniqueness, so don't be afraid to show it! In addition to making friends, there are many other ways to reduce loneliness. The best way is to focus on self-improvement. Engage in activities you enjoy, such as exercise, writing, playing a musical instrument, and so on. By pursuing your passions, you'll enhance your skills and encounter more like-minded friends. Finally, I wish you all the best in life, and may your future be bright!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12006
       },
       {
        "question": "How to regulate being easily influenced by people and things from the outside and affecting emotions?",
        "description": "I am especially sensitive, and I tend to overthink and become immersed in words spoken by those around me, as well as books, movies, and music that I have encountered. How can I regulate myself in such a state?",
        "keywords": "Growth, perfecting personality, personality traits, self-development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! After reading your description, I have gained some understanding of the question you want to ask, and I would like to give you a virtual hug. From your description, I can tell that you are someone who is easily influenced by your environment and others. You tend to overthink and get stuck in a loop due to offhand remarks made by others. It is normal to care about how others perceive us because most of us want to present ourselves in a positive light. However, it is important to find a balance. Excessive concern about others' opinions can have negative effects on your mental and emotional well-being. In most cases, being overly concerned about what others think is a manifestation of lack of self-confidence and insecurity. Therefore, I have summarized some methods to help you alleviate the current situation: (1) Learn to shift your focus by developing your interests, engaging in physical activities, or reading books, among other things. (2) Confide in close friends or family members who you have a good relationship with and express your concerns, which can help you release your emotions. (3) Try to reasonably filter out opinions that do not align with your own. For opinions that are useful to you, consider making changes, but do not put too much pressure on yourself during this process. (4) Objectively recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Embrace your strengths and develop plans to improve on your weaknesses, as nobody is perfect in this world. (5) Practice positive self-affirmation, and try to approach situations with a positive and optimistic mindset. (6) Accumulate knowledge and experience to enhance your reservoir of knowledge. This way, the degree to which others can influence you will greatly decrease. (7) Establish boundaries between yourself and others. When someone's emotions affect you, remind yourself that it is their emotions, and while you can offer help and comfort, resolving their emotions primarily depends on them. You are not responsible for other people's emotions. When we can distinguish between our own emotions and those of others, we can reduce unnecessary emotional exhaustion. The world and I love you. Take care and best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13727
       },
       {
        "question": "Do you have to force yourself to go to social events you don't want to go to?",
        "description": "A long time ago, I promised a not very familiar friend to go on a team-building activity. Initially, I also thought that team-building activities were too frequent, but I agreed in order to appear active. At the time, I didn't mention the details of the activity and the specific date. Later on, when I found out about the time and content, I didn't really want to go anymore. I feel awkward because I'm not close to them, and even after the team-building, we won't become much closer. Also, it's right after the Singles' Day sales and I don't have much money left. If I don't go last minute, will I be seen as unsociable? This team-building activity doesn't seem to have any specific requirements or tasks. Should I still go?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's talk while sorting things out: Your demand: You don't want to go. But you already agreed to the other party. No matter what your reason is, the point is that you agreed. This is the current situation. Of course, now you can choose not to go, but the cost may be that the other party may not invite you to similar activities in the future. If you want to participate in the future, you will need to actively ask the other party. Looking at it from a different perspective, if you go, what you can experience is completely unknown, but of course, you will have to pay and exert effort. Secondly, you may be able to sustain this circle, and then you can participate in corresponding activities in the future. So the choice has always been in your hands, it depends on how you choose. Whether you go or not, you still have a way to maintain this relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 3515
       },
       {
        "question": "Since I was very young, I have always wished for my mother to become pregnant... Is this a sickness?",
        "description": "I probably had such thoughts when I was in third or fourth grade, and I still have them now. I want to have a baby with my mom through AI... I don't know if anyone else has such thoughts, or if it's just me being ill.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ In psychoanalysis, there is a very important concept called the Oedipus complex, also known as the love for the mother. It originates from the Greek mythological character Oedipus, who accidentally killed his father and married his mother. Your current psychological state can be explained using this story. The Oedipus complex originally refers to the mixed emotions of a boy's affection for his mother and resentment towards his father. According to the ancient Greek myth, Prince Oedipus unintentionally killed his biological father and married his mother due to a prophecy. Freud used this to illustrate the characteristics of children's sexual psychology. He believed that during the phallic stage (around 3-5 years old), boys develop feelings of love for their mother and jealousy towards their father, as they subconsciously desire to replace their father and have exclusive love from their mother. However, because the father is more powerful and stronger than the child, the child tends to identify with the father and imitate his behavior and attitude. This impulse may still arise during adolescence, and it is only resolved when the individual finds a sexual partner. Freud believed that boys have a fear of castration from their fathers, which gradually eliminates the Oedipus complex. For girls, the development of the Electra complex signifies a shift of love objects from the mother to the father, and this complex reaches its peak when girls become aware of their lack of a \"phallus\". If not resolved effectively, this complex can become the root of future neuroses. The essence of the Oedipus complex is not actual matricide and patricide, but rather similarity and complementarity. Taking boys as an example, they are of the same sex as their fathers, so they are similar; similarity leads to identification, and boys look up to their fathers as role models and adopt their psychological traits and qualities as part of their own. Boys are of the opposite sex as their mothers, which allows them to complement each other, rely on each other, and this is what love is. Therefore, boys form the most fundamental interpersonal relationship with their parents, which can be summarized as love for the mother and imitation of the father. Love for the mother and imitation of the father often mutually reinforce each other. When the father loves the mother, boys imitate the father, and they will love the mother even more. When the mother loves the father, boys must become more like the father in order to win the mother's affection. Freud believed that \"children often take their mothers or fathers as their sexual objects, and fathers love their daughters more than their sons, while mothers love their sons more than their daughters. Children respond accordingly, sons wanting to occupy the father's position, and daughters wanting to occupy the mother's position. The pleasure derived from these parent-child relationships and the relationships between children also carry a sense of both tenderness and hostility.\" If you are experiencing this situation, it may be because the Oedipus complex has not been resolved. You can read some relevant books to understand this complex, or you can consult a professional psychoanalytic counselor who can help you change your feelings towards your mother and transfer this emotional attachment to other females. This is my analysis and suggestion, hope it helps you! Best wishes!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 13029
       },
       {
        "question": "A 15-year-old girl, her learning ability has deteriorated, and she is on the verge of a breakdown. What should she do?",
        "description": "At fifteen years old, female, I did well in my studies in the first year of junior high school, but in the second year, I clearly couldn't keep up. I can understand the lessons, and I am diligently memorizing and answering questions, but I make a lot of mistakes, and my accuracy is not even half of what it was in the first year. My friends and teachers say that I am a good student, I read as many books as them, and I do as many exercises as them, but there is still such a big difference. I'm about to break down, it's like my brain has stopped working, I can't think anymore, and everything feels like I only understand the superficial meaning.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. Through your words, I can sense your anxiety, helplessness, confusion, and stress. I want to give you a big hug, as it's not easy. If you didn't have any difficulties in your previous studies, and there were no obvious problems with your study methods or diligence, but your grades have significantly declined, it is possible that your psychological motivation is the issue. It seems like we are studying very hard and seriously, but our study efficiency is actually very poor. This is because our psychological motivation is not focused on studying. Perhaps your subconscious is resisting studying, or maybe your subconscious is focused on other things. You need to reflect and become aware of what has happened. You can also find a counselor to chat with. They can help you understand your confusion and overcome your difficulties with their expertise. Lastly, studying is your own business. You should sincerely give as much effort as you can, and only expect to harvest according to your own abilities, rather than comparing yourself to others in terms of how many books you've read or how many questions you've done. Everyone has their own pace of learning. Just follow your own rhythm. If you do your best, then that's enough!",
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        "questionID": 10187
       },
       {
        "question": "I am a male, 18 years old this year, and I want to commit suicide. I'm sorry, parents.",
        "description": "I am a boy, I am 18 years old this year, and I don't want to grow up. I broke up with my online girlfriend yesterday and I feel very sad o(\u2565\ufe4f\u2565)o. I have been having insomnia every day and can't stop overthinking. I don't like myself at all. I really have no hope in life. I miss my grandmother and want to be with her. I really want her, I want to know how to let my parents know that I am not suicidal but just feeling helpless. My heart hurts so much, I just don't want to make my parents sad. I want to commit suicide before I become an adult. It's all my fault, I'm sorry parents, I'm not filial!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you just broke up yesterday and now you're feeling very sad. This is a normal reaction. However, you have to know that this state won't last forever. I have encountered many people who have gone through a breakup, and in the initial stages, they might feel just like you, sad and even contemplating suicide, thinking that they will never love again, and exhibiting all kinds of extreme reactions. But the majority of them eventually manage to adjust and their intense emotions gradually subside. Especially after a long period of time, when they have their own new lives and even new partners, when they look back on the time of the breakup, everything seems light and insignificant. They will be grateful for their perseverance at that time. I believe you will also be the same. Don't rush, give yourself some time. Allow yourself to feel sad. When you feel uncomfortable, cry, talk about it, write it down, or even shout it out, but do not give up on yourself in a moment of impulsiveness. You miss your grandmother a lot, but have you ever thought that if there really is heaven after death, would your grandmother want you to join her there? No, she would silently bless you and hope that you live a good and happy life. Living well should be the greatest filial piety to your grandmother. You have mentioned a few times about being sorry to your parents. Is it possible not to hurt them? I believe the greatest pain in the world is when white-haired parents bury their black-haired children, their hard-earned children who lose their lives in the prime of youth. Such a blow is truly cruel. So, if you feel sorry, then live well. I believe that in the future, you will still meet someone you love, someone who loves you. You will have your own career, your own family, and your own wonderful life. Don't just give up on yourself like this, okay? Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
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        ],
        "questionID": 18347
       },
       {
        "question": "Is constantly wanting to check many things a compulsion? What should I do?",
        "description": "I always have the tendency to check many things. (It has always been there, but recently it seems a bit worse.) For example, the water faucet, the arrangement of books, shoes, gas valves... I often check several times, until I can imagine a visual of it being done and forcefully convince myself not to check anymore and tell myself that it's already okay, only then do I stop. Is this OCD, and what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, first of all, I want to give you a warm hug. It must be exhausting for you to constantly check things and it probably decreases your efficiency as well. I feel for you. Secondly, you mentioned that you always want to check many things (it has always been there but recently seems to have gotten worse). For example, taps, the arrangement of books, shoes, gas valves...you often check multiple times. Have you ever thought about what repetitive checking means to you? When did this start happening and why has it become worse recently? What does repetitive checking represent? Have you explored this part of yourself? As for solving the problem: 1. From your description, it seems that you already have a relatively suitable method for yourself. I wonder if you have noticed it yourself. You mentioned imagining a \"checked\" symbol and forcibly stopping yourself from checking and telling yourself it's already okay. Try slowing down the process when you become aware of the urge to repeat the checking, reflect on what you are currently doing and the purpose behind it, and gradually reach a point where checking once is enough. This might help reduce the need for repetitive checking. 2. Your description didn't mention the impact that repetitive checking has on yourself. If you don't see it as a problem, you can let it be and not put too much pressure on yourself or label yourself. It will be better to accept yourself and make changes from that place. I hope this can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. In fact, in life, most of us have some compulsive behaviors, such as worrying that the door is not closed or the lights are not turned off after going out, and we may repeat checks. As long as these compulsive behaviors are not too frequent or extreme, they are actually normal. But from your description, it seems that you have some compulsive behaviors towards many things, which may indicate mild symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): Before talking about OCD, let's talk about compulsive phenomena first. Almost everyone may experience compulsive phenomena, such as a song constantly playing in your head or worrying if the house door is locked after going out. Children and adolescents may also experience compulsive phenomena, such as taking 1 extra step for every 4 steps when walking on the street. It can be said that everyone may have compulsive phenomena. Generally, if these compulsive phenomena are mild, short in duration, and do not cause severe anxiety or other emotional disorders, they are considered normal. OCD is a neurosis characterized by the main clinical manifestations of obsessions and compulsions. OCD is not uncommon in clinical practice. A survey in the United States showed that the prevalence rate of OCD is about 1%. In 1982, a survey was conducted in 12 regions in China, and the results showed a prevalence rate of OCD of 0.3\u2030. In fact, this number is much lower than the actual prevalence rate. Based on clinical practice, it is estimated that there are about 5 to 10 million people with OCD in China, with a prevalence rate of about 5\u2030 to 10\u2030. 80% of OCD cases occur before the age of 25, and it is more common in men than women. Typical symptoms of OCD include: 1) patients repeatedly thinking about certain ideas, such as doubts, memories, and worries; 2) patients repeatedly performing unnecessary behaviors, such as checking, washing hands, counting, and ritualistic actions. Obsession and anxiety are like twins, OCD patients often have obvious symptoms of anxiety. The symptoms of OCD generally have the following characteristics: 1. The patient is aware that the OCD symptoms are irrational but cannot control them. If they do not do them, they will experience severe anxiety symptoms such as tension and palpitations. In order to avoid anxiety, patients can only keep thinking and doing them. This feature is called conscious self-compulsion and counter-compulsion. 2. Patients can realize that the conscious thoughts and impulses of these compulsions come from themselves, not from the external world, and are their own thoughts. I suggest you consider going to a relevant hospital for examination and listen to the diagnosis of a professional doctor.",
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            "end": 798,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear, sending you hugs~ Based on your descriptions, your state seems to resemble the symptoms of OCD. However, from my experience, I have friends around me who exhibit similar behaviors, or even worse, but they are okay with it and it does not greatly affect their lives. Hopefully, you don't worry too much about your condition. Based on your description of \"it's always been there, but recently it seems a bit worse,\" since you've been able to deal with these symptoms before, it might be a good idea to seek help from a mental health professional to rule out other possible psychological disorders and give yourself some peace of mind. I once had a friend who had severe OCD during her senior year, where no one could touch her desk, and she had to thoroughly wash her chopsticks before eating in the cafeteria. She would be the last one to leave the classroom because she had to double-check if she brought all the important materials home. She also had severe compulsions for cleanliness. However, she enjoyed it and didn't care what others thought. She calmly completed each task meticulously. I once gave advice to another individual with OCD and suggested taking photos of the things they had checked with their phone, so they could look at the photos when they remembered it again. You could try this method too, since we always have our phones with us and it's convenient to take a quick look.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, from your description, it seems that you often have the urge to check many things, and recently the frequency of checking seems to have increased. And then you have to force yourself not to check in order to stop. It appears to be some obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. How do you view the current situation yourself? Do you think it's manageable or unbearable? Has this phenomenon had any impact on you, in reality or mentally? Has anything happened recently that has increased these checking behaviors? What are you worried about? Usually, people with compulsive behaviors tend to be more serious and strive for perfection, like Sheldon in \"The Big Bang Theory.\" If it is affecting your life, such as work or study efficiency, interpersonal relationships, and causing you distress, you can visit the psychiatric department of a hospital to have a doctor evaluate and diagnose you. For OCD, you can learn about Morita Therapy by Dr. Shoma Morita. The core concept of the therapy is to go with the flow and do what needs to be done. You can take a look at \"The Way of Self-Acceptance and Realization\" and other works on Morita Therapy to understand the nature of OCD. You can also seek counseling with a therapist, and I believe they will be able to assist you. Wishing you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5660
       },
       {
        "question": "I have liked a boy for six years, but we have never been together. I don't understand my own feelings.",
        "description": "I have liked a boy for six years, but we are not together. This year, I met another boy and I don't know why, but I just want to look at him all the time. Even though I think he looks average, I don't understand why I want to see him. I get really nervous when I pass by him, and he seems very gentle. I like it when he smiles. But his behavior is very much like the sea king. I kind of want to be with him, but I really don't understand my own heart. I clearly like the boy I have liked for six years more.",
        "keywords": "Love, affection",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title holder, hello, sending you a hug~ After reading your description, it seems that you're not clear about your feelings and have put yourself in a dilemma. I genuinely sympathize with your situation. According to your description, you have liked a boy for six years, but you are not together. Now you have met someone else, and you feel that you care about him, but you can't really explain why you like him. Perhaps, when you start to like someone else, there is a feeling of betraying your previous feelings. In essence, it is not a betrayal. The six years of liking someone made you remember more of your own efforts rather than the other person. When we feel that we like someone, without communication, it is mostly based on our own imagined filters. So if you want to fully understand the other person, it is important to actually interact with them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1355
       },
       {
        "question": "Can expressing love through sexual intimacy be a way to fulfill sexual needs?",
        "description": "Feeling satisfied with sexual needs, there is an element of love in sex, just like satisfying the needs of eating and drinking. From this perspective, it is a form of care. However, if satisfying sexual needs and expressing love through sex can also create a sense of confusion.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to discuss the topic of sex and love with you. I believe that as someone who has thought about this topic, you must understand the importance of sex in romantic relationships. This is a great progress. So, I would like to share my understanding with you. \"Sexual needs are inherent basic needs for everyone.\" In Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, physiological needs serve as the foundation of the pyramid, and sexual needs are an important component of these physiological needs. Therefore, sexual needs are actually mutual states of satisfaction. In intimate relationships, sexual love is about meeting each other's inner needs, rather than one-sided satisfaction. Of course, everyone's needs may vary, with some having more needs and some having relatively fewer. Therefore, it is important for both parties to adjust and satisfy each other's needs to find a balance. Thus, mutual fulfillment of sexual needs does involve elements of care. \"Subjective experience takes priority in sexual love, with appropriate attention to the partner's feelings.\" In your question, you mentioned feeling \"confused\" about expressing love through sex. What is the cause of this confusion? Is it because expressing love through sex makes you feel ashamed? Regardless of the reason, sex should be considered a right and a way to obtain inner pleasure. As we discussed earlier, sexual needs are basic needs for everyone, so sexual love should be viewed as a basic right for everyone. Therefore, caring in sexual love or satisfying sexual needs should not be done solely to please the other person, but rather as an opportunity for oneself to be the subject in sexual love and to boldly enjoy it. If we view sex as a way to satisfy and please the other person, we are actually suppressing and depriving ourselves of our sexual rights, making ourselves passive participants in sexual relationships. In the long run, this can lead to feelings of shame and discomfort. Such an attitude is extremely harmful to intimate relationships. On the surface, it may seem like we are satisfying the other person's sexual needs, but this suppression and compromise of our own feelings will gradually build up inside us and eventually cause problems in the relationship. \"Become aware of the underlying intention behind the deliberate satisfaction.\" From what we discussed above, it seems that there is a cognitive perspective of \"deliberate satisfaction\" behind this type of behavior. How did this perspective develop? It may be related to the beliefs you acquired from your upbringing, but from a broader perspective, our society's past concept of \"male superiority and female inferiority\" seems to deliberately diminish women's feelings and rights in sex, thus making it easy for women to develop subconscious beliefs of \"I should satisfy my partner more in sex\". This subconscious belief can turn women into mere accessories in sexual relationships without their realizing it. This belief actually also harms men's positive experiences in sexual life, leading to a situation of \"both parties suffer losses.\" I hope the above response is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, good Monday morning! It's fortunate to meet in this question. Seeing your confusion, it mainly revolves around the relationship between sex and love. I'll try to discuss it with you explicitly, hoping to provide some insight and help.\n\n(1) Is sex equivalent to love? From Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love, we can see that intimate relationships primarily consist of three components: passion (which leans towards what you mentioned as sex), intimacy (which focuses on mental and emotional communication), and commitment. Based on this, we can roughly conclude that your assertion that sex is equivalent to love may not be fully comprehensive, complete, or accurate. From Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, we can also see that satisfying basic physiological needs, such as eating and drinking (which is more related to physical needs), might overlap to some extent with the need for sex, but it is not entirely the same. Therefore, when it comes to the higher-level safety, belongingness, and love needs, we can observe that if the process of sex aligns with expressions of love or emotional support, then there may be some match with the third level of needs. However, if it is solely about sex without any elements of \"love,\" then it is difficult to claim that it includes the component of \"care.\" In conclusion, if we insist on connecting the two, it may indeed lead to the confusion you mentioned, \"But if satisfying sexual needs and expressing love through sex causes a sense of disorder.\" Therefore, in terms of the actual question and problem, have we achieved a certain degree of consensus?\n\n(2) What needs are not being fulfilled behind this confusion or problem? This is perhaps what I am more interested in exploring with you. Is it that in a relationship, you are not experiencing satisfaction in areas other than sex? Or is it that in the process of providing sex, you believe that as long as you give sex, it includes love, but the other person cannot recognize this? Or is it that you are independently conducting some sort of research or satisfying curiosity related to this question? These three possibilities could lead us in different directions for further discussion. In order to respect your privacy, I won't make assumptions about these possibilities. As long as you don't feel more confused, I believe it won't be a very serious problem because we are all constantly growing and updating our understanding. It's a dynamic process. If you have more confusion, I suggest starting by reading some related books, some popular ones like \"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,\" \"The Happiness of Marriage,\" or more academic ones like \"Happy Together,\" \"Intimate Relationships.\" There are also many resources on this topic available on various platforms. Let's learn and improve together. That's all. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can sense a feeling of contradiction and confusion. As you said, sex is a physiological need, just like eating and drinking. However, in a relationship, the need for sex goes beyond just the physical level. Sex is a part of a relationship, but it's only a part. If we want to care for someone and provide for their basic needs, such as food and drink, it can indeed be seen as a way of expressing care. But the acceptance of such care, and considering it as a form of love, is based on the emotional connection between both parties. In a relationship, sex is also a manifestation of deep connection. If one person only has a sexual need for another person, without an emotional bond, then such a relationship is actually unhealthy. In other words, in your relationship, you might ask yourself: Why do you emphasize sex so much as a way to express love? In your relationship, does the other person only have a need for sex from you? Or do you only feel the sexual aspect in your relationship? How do you define a relationship in your own heart? Besides the sexual aspect, what other aspects do you expect in your relationship? In your relationship, what other needs of the other person can you fulfill? What kind of fulfillment do you expect from the other person? Perhaps contemplating on these questions will help you clarify your relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Can we use sexual intercourse as a way to fulfill our sexual needs to express love? This is a great way for lovers or partners to express themselves. Sexual intercourse is usually present in romantic relationships, which are the most intense form of interpersonal attraction and a sophisticated romantic emotion that occurs when the individual is mentally and physically mature enough to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex. The characteristics of romantic love mainly include the following aspects:\n\n1. Romantic love generally occurs between individuals of the opposite sex and specifically refers to heterosexual love, excluding same-sex love.\n\n2. Romantic love is an emotional experience that occurs when individuals are relatively mature in their physical and mental development.\n\n3. Romantic love is a high-level emotion, not a low-level sentiment. It does not belong to love when emotions are purely sexual and devoid of love.\n\n4. Romantic love has a physiological basis, including sexual factors, and is not purely a spiritual connection.\n\n5. The basic inclination of romantic love is devotion. Therefore, it is completely reasonable to use sexual intercourse as a way to express love within a romantic relationship. It is just that in traditional culture, people are ashamed to discuss sexual culture. However, it is a normal feeling experience to feel confused about how to balance fulfilling sexual needs and expressing love. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, basic physiological needs include sex, and it is the pursuit of every individual to fulfill these basic physiological needs. Of course, this should be based on self-protection and not harming others, and it is acceptable to express love through sexual intercourse in a rational manner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sex and care are actually somewhat different. If it is just to satisfy one's sexual needs, there are many ways to do so, such as through masturbation, sex toys, a partner, or dolls, it depends on whether we are seeking the release of physiological desires or striving for mutual consent with a partner. Care generally has more emotional components, it can be said to be about concern and nurturing, and the ways of care are diverse, such as a simple embrace, an encouraging look, or doing something for each other. The confusion of the questioner is because they have taken sex as a way of care and perceive it as improper and inappropriate, thus falling into distress. In fact, it is best for sex to have emotional elements, the maintenance of a relationship and sex are definitely related, as people often say that men fall in love through sex while women fall in love and then desire sex, which does have some truth to it. Therefore, the questioner's assertion that sex and care are not in conflict is valid. For example, in our interactions with our partner, if they are tired today, we would feel sorry for them and take the initiative to cook for them or prepare a bath for them, which is an expression of care. If both parties have been busy for a while and have not had sex for a long time, and suddenly the questioner feels desire but sees that their partner is exhausted, would they disrupt their partner's rest just for their own desire? This is also an expression of love. However, if both parties are not very busy recently and both have a certain desire, this process is a pleasurable experience for both and is an expression of love, but it is not care, rather it is an indescribable feeling. Sex is a part of our life, but not everything, we need to consider each other's emotions and state, therefore, sex is just one way of expressing ourselves. Care, on the other hand, is woven into our daily lives, it can serve as a pivot, making our relationship more intimate, so strictly speaking, sex and care have a certain intersection, but they are not entirely encompassing. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in the mental health domain, sex is a powerful force, especially when it is initiated by the other person's need. It can greatly score points. Like Rika in Tokyo Love Story, she starts with a kiss, which is really exciting! Just like eating and drinking, it can be appetizing when you're hungry, but overindulging can cause vomiting. There is a diminishing marginal effect, so it's important to control the frequency. Furthermore, the most important thing is one's own conditions. If you are someone who needs to spend money to attract others, it would be inappropriate to talk about expressing love haha :)",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2752
       },
       {
        "question": "Chasing after an ex for 7 years, broke up after 2 months, now in a current relationship, but still can't forget the ex?",
        "description": "After pursuing my ex for seven years, I finally succeeded... We dated for two months and then broke up. I knew she didn't like me, but I genuinely liked her... After the breakup, I convinced myself that I had moved on and started a new relationship. However, a few days ago, I accidentally saw photos of my ex and me, and I realized that I still like her. But now I have a girlfriend, and I feel guilty about my current partner. I feel like I've emotionally cheated, and I'm really upset right now.",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, winning back the ex.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If I had committed a thought crime, I would have probably been arrested a long time ago. Do you feel guilty about it? You can't forget your ex, and you also feel a sense of responsibility towards your current partner, including conflicting interpretations of faithfulness in your mind. Let's analyze it together and see if it can be helpful to you. 1. Unable to forget your ex - you pursued her for seven years, which is not a short period of time. Let's imagine losing seven years of memories, do you think it's possible? When you finally won her over, it would have been for the best if you didn't, at least then you would have closure. Liking someone and being suitable for each other are two different things. If you can't forget, then treat it as a beautiful memory. 2. Sense of responsibility and interpretation of faithfulness, and the feeling of guilt - you have a sense of duty, believing that when you are in a relationship, you shouldn't think about other people. Regarding emotional infidelity, if possible, perhaps you can talk to your current girlfriend about it. From what I know, some women can accept emotional infidelity, disregarding moral judgments. The feelings of both parties are important in a relationship. Furthermore, don't rush to label yourself. If your longing for your ex becomes stronger and starts to affect your relationship with your current partner, then it might be necessary to consider further actions. From my perspective, it seems more like a self-directed annoyance and guilt. Feeling guilty and apologizing to your current partner won't truly bring you closer together; it's love that can do that. So ask yourself, do you love her? What do you love about her? If you do, then take action rather than just thinking about it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey, every relationship teaches us how to grow. Remember, no one can stay with you till the end. Let the past go. Otherwise, your life will be filled with goodbyes every day. Maybe today you lost a bunch of keys, and tomorrow you lose a friend. Do you need to be sad and upset about everything? I believe that during the time you pursued the other person, you must have changed many bad habits in order to become the person they wanted. Actually, no one loses in this relationship. The other person understands that they don't like you and doesn't want to hold you back. You become a better person, isn't that good? Living in the present is the key to making yourself happier and more content.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19418
       },
       {
        "question": "After achieving success, my parents are not as happy as I imagined. I feel very disappointed and sad.",
        "description": "I used to be someone who wasn't very hardworking and was average in many aspects. I thought that if I worked hard and achieved success, my family would genuinely be happy and proud of me. However, when I surpassed my goals (even ones I couldn't imagine), I found that my family (including my parents, who have been separated for decades but not divorced) seemed to congratulate me on the surface but actually didn't seem as happy as I had imagined. I feel very disappointed that no one can truly share in my happiness, and I feel very lonely. Is this a normal reaction when children become independent, or is it some kind of life issue that I have encountered?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! Hugs to you! @First of all, have you carefully observed your own description and feelings? \"I thought that if I achieved success, my family would be happy.\" \"I feel disappointed, as no one is truly happy for me.\" \u25cb You need to realize that your so-called success is for yourself. Since childhood, we have been taught that parents are the ones who wholeheartedly love us, who worry about our pain and rejoice in our success. From childhood to adulthood, teachers, parents, and society have instilled in us the belief that good deeds are rewarded and bad deeds are punished. However, we gradually come to realize that parents' love for us is not entirely pure; after all, they are also individual beings who love themselves. The one who should feel happy for your success should be yourself. Perhaps you should understand that what you have accomplished is not to gain rewards, but to fulfill a personal life goal. \u25cb As for not receiving a positive response, when you focus on your own feelings, you won't care whether others' feedback is good or bad, and you will still be happy! It is good if you can bring joy to others, you can see it as a gift you give to the people around you, but it should not be used as a judgment of whether you have done well or not. We are not other people, we cannot understand their feelings. Maybe they are currently going through something troubling, and that's why they cannot be happy. Or maybe there are other reasons. Try your best not to assume that it is because they dislike you, as many misunderstandings arise from this. \u25cb Dear friend, never say, \"No one is truly happy for me.\" That's such a worrying and absolute statement. You need to accept yourself and believe that people are not that fragile; even when you don't receive the kind of love you need, you still have the ability to love yourself. @Everyone expresses love in different ways, and I don't know how you found out about your parents' separation without divorce. Perhaps this decision was made out of concern for you. I couldn't help but think of a movie I watched earlier this year called \"Cats and Mouse Game.\" While watching it, I felt deeply touched and heartbroken, realizing that maybe I was also someone who constantly sought my parents' attention. The protagonist, in order not to lose his parents' love, keeps making wrong choices, thinking that if he becomes wealthy, his mother won't leave his destitute father. The scene on Christmas Eve is particularly heart-wrenching. The lesson in life is about you, not about seeking the approval of others. I hope my answer can help you! Take care~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, I understand your feelings very well and I hope I can help you. From what I can see, the main reason why you feel disappointed and sad is that your parents' behavior doesn't match your expectations of happiness. I'm curious, what does happiness look like in your imagination? I believe this is the answer that your parents don't know. It's like if I say I imagine a very beautiful house and ask you to draw it, you might not know where to start because you can only draw the beautiful house as you imagine it, and you don't know what the beautiful house as I imagine it looks like. Similarly, your parents can only express the happiness as they imagine it, but they cannot express the happiness as you imagine it. Now that we know the happiness you imagine and the happiness your parents imagine might be different, how can we close this gap? My suggestion is to transform our imagination into language. Language has a magical power. You can communicate with your parents by 1. Expressing your own feelings, saying something like \"I thought you would be so happy that you'll jump for joy!\" or \"In my imagination, after hearing this news, you would take me out for a big meal.\" This can help your parents understand the distance between your feelings and their expressions. 2. Communicate their specific feelings, asking questions like \"Are you happy for me? How happy are you?\" or \"If you had to rate your current level of happiness out of 100, what would it be?\" 3. Communicate the distance in feelings, saying something like \"I feel 100% happy right now, but it seems like you only feel 10%. So there's a 90% gap between us?\" I believe that after such communication, your parents will give you feedback about their feelings, which can help you understand their feelings and emotions more specifically, as well as the reasons for the gap between their feelings and yours. For example, maybe from their perspective, the happiness they express is already their 100%, or maybe they have restrained their own happiness for various reasons, or maybe they are genuinely not very happy at the moment and there are reasons for that. But no matter what the reason is, after communication, the gap in imagination between you has already been reduced. Lastly, I remember a saying, \"Language may be the fastest shortcut to reach each other's souls.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Hugs to you, dear! From your statement, I can sense that you feel a bit down, but here I still want to congratulate you on your achievements. As children, when we succeed, I think we all hope to receive praise and blessings from our parents, but it seems that your parents didn't sincerely congratulate you, which made you feel disappointed. For our parents, it's their first time being parents, and maybe they don't know how to express themselves. I believe they must have noticed your success. For you personally, you have achieved success, even exceeding your goals. However, how much do your parents understand about your goals and what you consider as success? There's a saying that different fields are like different mountains. Perhaps for your parents, they don't know how difficult it is for you to achieve this success. Is it possible that part of the reason is because we have too high expectations of our parents? Every parent has their own way of expressing themselves, and some parents may not express happiness to avoid their children becoming arrogant, which may affect their future path. Your parents may also have their own thoughts about expressing themselves. From your statement, I learned that your parents have been living separately for decades, even though they are not divorced. Regardless of how your parents get along, I believe they love their children and treat them with their own ways and expressions, expressing their love for their children. Finally, I hope you will become more and more successful on your future path. I hope this helps. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can see that you have transformed from someone who was not very hardworking and ordinary to someone who can achieve their goals beyond their imagination. This is a remarkable transformation, congratulations! You wanted to share these achievements and joy with your parents, but you didn't feel their happiness. You feel disappointed and lonely, as if nobody can truly be happy for you. Here, you mentioned the phrase \"in your imagination,\" how do you imagine they would be happy for you? It's difficult to determine the degree of this emotion based on appearance alone. For example, we all know that comedians perform joyful emotions on stage, but how can the audience differentiate whether their happiness is genuine or fake? This can lead to an interesting phenomenon: there is only one comedian on stage, but there could be 300 different interpretations from the 300 audience members. Some may say a slight smile is happiness, others may say relaxed body language is happiness, while others may argue that the smile is fake and the comedian is not truly happy. But in reality, only the comedian knows whether they are truly happy or not. So how do you judge your parents' happiness when you cannot sense it? Did they definitely react in the way you judged? I hope this answer can provide you with some inspiration! Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I saw your concerns and I hope I can help you. I see that you mentioned that you used to be someone who wasn't very diligent and was average in many ways, but recently, through hard work, you have surpassed your own goals and achieved success that you couldn't even imagine. You've noticed that your family, including your parents, don't seem as happy as you imagined and you feel disappointed and lonely. I'm glad to see that you have achieved success through your own efforts, and I applaud you. I also understand your feelings and emotions very well, and I hope I can help you. First and foremost, acknowledge yourself. From your success, it is clear that you are someone who has expectations for yourself, looks forward to the future, and is willing to work harder for it. Through this success, see your own strengths, actively summarize your experiences, and don't easily let external emotions and environments affect you. Maintain your advantages and strive for higher goals. Secondly, lower your expectations. Here, expectations refer to your expectations of your family, including your parents. From your description, I can see that they genuinely congratulate you. What makes you feel that they are not as happy? It may be because you have set too high expectations for them. From your description, it seems that your parents' separation has also had some impact on you, and there may already be some barriers between you. Remember that everyone expresses happiness in different ways, and there may be many other factors involved, such as the state of mind of your parents and your own condition. Don't pay too much attention to the formality. Take the initiative to communicate with them more and try to understand them more. Success may be an added bonus to the parental relationship, but it is by no means a prerequisite. What would make your parents happier is probably your growing maturity. Thirdly, learn to be independent. Gradually build your own social support system so that you have friends whom you can share your success and pain with, apart from your family. Loneliness is normal, and learning to overcome it is something that everyone needs to continuously learn. Additionally, cultivating hobbies that are beneficial for your physical and mental well-being can help you enrich yourself and gain more nourishment. I wish you new achievements every day.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ I totally understand how you feel, sending you a hug~ I think your feelings of disappointment and sadness are quite normal. When we have high expectations for something and the result doesn't meet our expectations, we feel disappointed. The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment. In your case, you expected your parents to be very happy and proud of your progress, but they weren't, so you feel disappointed and sad. It's not necessarily their fault, maybe they just didn't feel particularly happy or they wanted to encourage you to keep working hard without praising you, fearing that you might become arrogant. Maybe you don't communicate with your parents very often, which is why you need their emotional support and have such expectations. Keep up the good work, my friend! If you feel lonely, you can make more reliable friends. You can also visit home more often and talk to your parents more. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings. Every parent treats their child differently. Some parents get very happy and constantly praise their child even for small progress. While some parents may not show much reaction no matter how big the achievements are. There are even parents who have never praised their child at all. You mentioned that you exceeded the goals, even beyond your imagination. Maybe your parents don't really understand your industry and are not able to appreciate your achievements to the fullest. In their eyes, it might just be a small improvement, so they didn't show it. I understand that you want to share your joy with them, but they didn't react as you expected. It's okay, trust that parents love us very much. When we grow up and become independent, as long as our parents have their own lives and are safe and healthy, that is the greatest comfort to us. Don't overthink it, a wonderful life has just begun! Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title: Hello! From your question and description, it seems like you are eager to share the joy of success with your parents, and you feel disappointed and puzzled about the gap between their reaction and your expectations. Is that right? This gap between reality and desire may be influenced by several factors: typically, people naturally, quickly, and intensely react to negative news compared to positive news (which is why many media outlets prefer to use negative news to attract readers). Sharing a bad news discreetly may have the same impact as a shocking one, while sharing good news may require more pomp and circumstance to draw equal attention. Due to this common human tendency, it appears that intimate relationships seem to be more common and easily appreciated when faced with difficulties (the power of tragedy?). Therefore, it is not difficult to understand why people are accustomed to sharing burdens but not so accustomed to proactively sharing or reciprocating happy news. In terms of the interactivity of interpersonal relationships, strong interactivity, in addition to the influence of emotional intimacy, often depends on the sense of \"connection\" between each other, which is usually manifested as a sense of responsibility between parents and children. It is precisely this sense of responsibility that makes parents more likely to pay attention to communication that requires them to take responsibility, while communication beyond responsibility may not have the same level of conscious participation due to unfamiliarity or lack of experience. In other words, your success may not be the first thing to catch their attention because it is unrelated to their habitual sense of responsibility. The so-called connectivity in interactive relationships, between loved ones, if not related to a sense of responsibility, perhaps the expressing party needs to use a special way of expression or prompt the other party to feel involved during the expression process in order to make them pay attention to it. I believe that even individuals who are not used to expressing enthusiasm may be touched by vivid joy when they can personally see or experience the joy that you feel.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear asker, hugs to you~ I can understand your feelings very well and can sense your disappointment and sadness. Congratulations on your success, and I hope my answer can help you. [Problem Analysis] The main issue you have is that you used to not put in much effort and considered yourself an average person. Recently, through your own efforts, you have achieved success, but your family cannot truly understand and be happy for your success. Therefore, you feel a sense of loneliness and disappointment. [Advice] Focus on yourself and make yourself happier. Throughout our lives, we strive to make ourselves happy; it is not about gaining recognition and understanding from others. Everyone has their own life, and even though family members are the closest to us, they won't always pay attention to us. Perhaps they are going through something unhappy recently and cannot fully consider your feelings. Don't worry too much, keep a positive outlook, and remember that you have to walk your own path in the future. Be stronger and get used to facing things alone. In the process of growth, we all hope to be noticed, but once others show neglect or indifference towards us, we feel disappointed. However, that's how life is, and only we can truly understand ourselves. Regardless of whether we are happy or sad, others cannot truly empathize with us, so there is no need to pay too much attention to it. Growing up means gradually getting used to facing things alone. Relax and understand that everyone's expectations are different; what may be a hard-earned success in your eyes may only be a small ripple in your parents' life experiences. Due to different life experiences, their mindset may also change, and they may not be as happy for a long time as we are when we achieve something through hard work. Relax and understand that they may actually be happy, just not showing it. I wish you a happier and more joyful life in the future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, to achieve your goals. As for the disappointment you feel because your parents are not as happy as you imagined, I think it may be due to the following reasons: high expectations, the higher the expectations, the easier it is to feel a gap in the mind. From your words, it can be seen that the achievements you have made are very great, and in your perception, your parents did not show the happiness and pride you imagined, which can lead to a feeling of \"disappointment\" in your psychology. Continued excitement for one thing, when we are constantly excited about something, once we calm down, it will appear more barren and gloomy, which is actually a very common psychological dynamic change. The expression of parents, what you think your parents are not happy, is only your own perception. Parents have their own ways of expressing themselves, they also have their own lives and thoughts. How could they not be happy when their own children succeed? You may just be overly worried. I am grateful to meet you and I hope this can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 13918
       },
       {
        "question": "When looking for a job, why do people with low self-esteem choose to lie on their resumes?",
        "description": "When looking for a job, I realized that due to low self-esteem and poor abilities, I tend to underestimate myself and consequently end up applying for lower quality jobs.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From your description, I understand that 1. You underestimate yourself in your resume. 2. You are looking for relatively low-paying jobs, and you feel inferior. [Some analysis and suggestions] 1. When making judgments about yourself, you can refer to the opinions of friends and family, rather than allowing yourself to subjectively degrade yourself. Ask others about your strengths and do a comprehensive and as objective as possible analysis of yourself, which will help improve your self-esteem. 2. If the lower-paying jobs are the most suitable ones you can find at the moment, then improve your skills in these job positions, learn more, and lay a foundation for future better job opportunities. It is also a good career choice. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16408
       },
       {
        "question": "I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and have been taking medication for over two weeks.",
        "description": "I (29 years old, male) developed an anxious state and dizziness for over a month after reading negative news on August 4th. I couldn't sleep well. Many tests showed no problems, so I went to a traditional Chinese medicine hospital for treatment. Later on, another mental health clinic diagnosed me with anxiety disorder, and the dizziness symptoms eased after taking medication. However, sometimes I still feel restless and agitated when I think about certain things, and I rely on sleeping pills to fall asleep. Sigh, I don't know when I will get better. Currently, I am living alone and working in a different city, without many good friends. The friends I used to think were close have become critical of me. I no longer want to contact them, and sometimes I even have the urge to argue or physically confront them... It is distressing to think about this.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I've read your description. Currently, it has been over two weeks since you started taking medication for anxiety, and some of your symptoms have improved, indicating that the medication is starting to take effect. Treating anxiety is a long-term and systematic process. As you continue to take the medication, your sleep and emotional problems will gradually improve, and your condition will be better than it is now. Therefore, please cooperate with the doctor and continue taking the medication. Additionally, if conditions allow, it is recommended to receive psychological counseling. Explore the underlying causes of anxiety. It is also helpful to learn breathing relaxation, mindfulness, and other methods and practice them daily. They can effectively alleviate symptoms when you have an anxiety attack. Moreover, exercise, socializing, and developing hobbies can also help improve your mood and relieve anxiety.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is very distressing to see your current diagnosis of anxiety disorder. Your reaction to negative news may be the source of this anxiety. I wonder if you have had particularly anxious moments in the past. As for the negative news you mentioned, it may be helpful to interpret and sort through them. Right now, what you can do is to follow medical advice and cooperate with treatment. If necessary, you can also consider psychological counseling and actively engage in self-regulation to deal with things that make you uncomfortable and plan your life comprehensively. It seems that you have been experiencing dizziness and insomnia after being diagnosed with anxiety disorder. Although the dizziness has reduced after taking medication, you still occasionally feel restless and uneasy. You rely on sleeping pills to fall asleep, and living alone in another city without close friends makes you irritable and picky. Maybe your friends have higher expectations of you, and as a result, you no longer want to connect with them. There may also be some obvious negative emotions within you. Although I don't know exactly what has happened between you, changes in friendships are something we often have to face in life. Keep a record of your feelings of restlessness and anxiety and try to regulate them. You are already receiving treatment, and your restlessness must be related to the things you do or experience. It may even lead to some anxiety and sleep disturbances because of excessive thinking. If this phenomenon affects your life, you may consider comprehensive mindfulness training. There may be many judgments regarding your thoughts and life that can be discussed in counseling. Moderate restlessness and anxiety can let you know what you should and should not do and can improve brain vitality. But if you continue to immerse yourself in it, your energy will be depleted. Please note that our restlessness and stress begin with our cognition. This kind of anxious reaction can cause accelerated heartbeats, increased pulse rates, and muscle tension. You can identify the types of thoughts that cause you excessive stress. You may be experiencing obvious negative thoughts that trigger excessive worry, which can lead to the release of stress hormones, just like experiencing a nightmare. We need to recognize them, including statements like \"should\" or \"must\". Everyone has their own choices, and others have expectations of you, so you can also judge yourself. Think about what you have been telling yourself. Try to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. Accepting stress is inevitable, but you can take measures to reduce it and learn how to cope with restlessness and anxiety. You can also try to avoid stress as much as possible. If you know for sure that a certain person or activity is the source of your restlessness and anxiety, try to eliminate the stress from your life, including taking appropriate breaks and readjusting to the existence of this thing, or reducing contact with it as much as possible. Before taking action, think carefully and be aware that your behavior needs appropriate consideration.",
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            "start": 717,
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        ],
        "questionID": 7922
       },
       {
        "question": "Married and have children, want to change myself and regain self-confidence, what should I do?",
        "description": "It has been more than three years since we got married, but we didn't have a wedding ceremony and didn't ask for any dowry. Now we have two children, the older one is two and a half years old, and the younger one is five months old. We live together with my mother-in-law at home, while my husband and father-in-law work outside. I have been living with my mother-in-law all this time. She is quite dominant, while I am not very talkative. The customs in Yunnan, where I am from, are different from those in Sichuan, where my husband is from. There is a generation gap between me and my mother-in-law in terms of child education. Over the past three years, I have had quite a few conflicts with my mother-in-law, and these accumulations have led me to complain and discuss with others. I will feel inadequate and that everything I do is wrong. I will have a negative outlook on life, easily cry, get angry, and have a bad temper. Sometimes, I feel that life is meaningless and don't want to live anymore. I know that I have serious issues in my heart, and I know that this cannot continue, it's not right. But I can't help myself, and I don't know why I have gradually become like this and why I have made my life so miserable... How can I change?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management, prenatal and postnatal, views on childbirth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, it seems that you are in a complex emotional state, perhaps feeling aggrieved, angry, unwilling, and helpless. There may also be some other indescribable feelings, all of which accumulate and come one after another, causing great distress. Your understanding of this would be deeper. You mentioned that you are currently still living with your mother-in-law, and there have been differences in living habits since getting married. How have you adjusted and adapted over the years, and what are the results? Have you considered moving out of your mother-in-law's house and living independently with your own small family? Whether living with the mother-in-law or living independently with your own small family, both situations come with problems and challenges. You may assess which situation is better for you at this stage, and it would be helpful to have a good discussion with your husband as his help and support are crucial to you. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17488
       },
       {
        "question": "A freshman girl often has a desire to date, but doesn't know where to start.",
        "description": "Freshman girls, I used to get nervous and shy when talking to boys in high school. In college, every time I take a walk on campus, I see couples everywhere, and my roommates are also still single, talking about getting into relationships. I've also made friends with some guys, but whenever I talk to them, my mind goes blank. I really want to be in a relationship, but no one is pursuing me, and there isn't anyone I particularly like either. I also feel like my views on love are too simplistic. Today, I quietly like one guy, and then after a while, I start liking another guy. Sometimes, even after just a short interaction, not knowing much about the other person, I might just chat with them for a bit and develop feelings for them.",
        "keywords": "Love, being single.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! First of all, I would like to thank you for asking such a great question! I think many single girls have the same concerns as you. Actually, I am in the same boat as you and have been waiting for my own love story! I'm not afraid to admit that I'm already 27 years old and still searching! And I'm perpetually single, haha! I don't have any dating experience to teach you, but I would like to share my feelings with you! In fact, I used to be just like you, eager to be in a relationship but never had any guys chasing after me. I didn't have anyone I particularly liked, felt like anyone would do but also didn't want to settle. Although my standards for choosing friends were not high, there were always certain factors holding me back from taking the first step! Often, even before a relationship started, I already had an idea of how it would end. This reveals the contradiction in psychology known as avoidant conflict, where the same thing or person has both what you desire and what you fear. This contradiction is like two evenly matched little people in your heart playing tug-of-war, neither willing to give in, just stalling. Because I study psychology myself, I took some questionnaires and read some books to explore myself. Later, I found the reasons behind this state: (1) I haven't developed a mature view of love and have a limited understanding of intimate relationships. (2) A lack of security within myself and a fear of stepping out of my comfort zone. (3) Always predicting outcomes, fearing hurt and unable to handle losing. (4) Lack of self-confidence. Because I am an ordinary looking girl with average height, I have always felt insecure about my appearance. The above is my analysis of myself, and once I knew the reasons, I started making changes! The first and third reasons are relatively easy to solve and can be changed gradually through reading. The difficult ones are 2 and 4. Developing security and self-confidence don't happen overnight, so when faced with these reasons, I set a three-year goal for myself. In these three years, I started focusing on my inner self, reading many books on psychology, such as \"Intimate Relationships\" trilogy, \"Marriage Psychology,\" \"Why Love Hurts,\" \"The Heidi Chronicles,\" and others. Through reading, you will understand different types of intimate relationships and the problems that arise in them. You will gradually form your own view of love and find the right way to love for yourself. Apart from reading, I also observe the interaction patterns of couples in real life. I used to think that in a relationship, two people should always present their best sides to each other, but later I slowly discovered that two people in love actually give each other their true selves. Love is not as perfect as imagined, love is about acceptance, understanding, and being there for each other! Realizing this, I found that I am not as insecure anymore. In fact, I am quite cute, at least some guys have complimented my eyes! Thinking about this, I am not so insecure anymore! When a person overcomes their insecurities and builds self-confidence, they will find a sense of security! I used to think that security should be given by the man, but now I understand that in any relationship, only when both individuals have a complete sense of self, will there be a sense of security! Although I haven't entered a romantic relationship yet, I have already stepped out of my comfort zone, and I now have some great male friends around me that I can freely communicate with! And, there are people who have started liking me! I think that is the change brought by self-confidence! So, my advice to you is to also try self-exploration, find the reasons, face them, and I believe that deep down, every girl has a beautiful and confident angel, believe in yourself, make changes, step out of your comfort zone, and you will definitely meet your destined partner! That's my sharing and advice, I hope it helps you! Keep it up, young girl!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Freshman girl, when talking to boys in high school, would feel nervous and shy. In college, every time she takes a walk on campus, she sees couples and her roommates are all talking about being single. Every girl yearns for love, and each has a princess dream, fantasizing about meeting their Prince Charming. I also have male friends, but whenever I talk to them, my mind goes blank. Eating, drinking, chatting, these are all subconscious actions. If you pay attention to them, they'll go wrong. The more afraid you are of saying the wrong thing, the more likely you will. The more afraid you are of making a fool of yourself, the easier it is to do so. Chatting is just chatting, talking is just talking. If you insist on adding expectations, then you will gain anxiety. This is the psychology of perfectionism. How do you solve this problem? You have to let go. Tell yourself that you're just going to chat aimlessly and randomly. Anyway, your mind is not very clear when you chat normally and you're not likable. So just try whatever you want, make yourself happy. I really want to be in love, but there are no boys pursuing me. You have to chase after the goddess, what if she's blind? You also have to pursue the god, what if he's foolish? But I don't really like any particular boy, and I feel that my views on love are too simplistic. Today, I silently like a boy, but in a while, I like another boy. Sometimes, even though I haven't interacted with someone for long, I don't know what kind of person they are, but I might feel a fondness for them just by chatting. This is what you call infatuation. Everyone has a need to be loved, and a need to give love. When you don't receive love for a long time, the river of love in your heart dries up. Naturally, you start to become infatuated. How do you solve this problem? You have to give love. Those who give love will receive love in return, and those who send blessings will receive blessings. The people who only focus on giving without asking for anything in return will gain the most. Those who only focus on receiving without giving will gain nothing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone has a different pace. Some people mature early, while others mature late. There is no right or wrong, as long as you find your own comfortable pace. Just like in school, there are always some girls who are outgoing and mature early, starting to date at a young age, while others are more introverted and shy, blushing when talking to boys. This is related to personal experiences and confidence levels, and we cannot expect everyone to be the same. You mentioned that you want to be in a relationship, but have you thought about what kind of guy you should be looking for? What kind of guy would be suitable for you and make you feel comfortable? Dating is not easy. We always hope to find someone we love and who is right for us, but it is actually quite difficult and requires effort, such as controlling our temper and considering others. Perhaps some people think that dating casually is fine, why take it seriously if it's not marriage. This requires you to understand the purpose of dating. Are you just playing around or do you want something more serious? Being clear about what you like and what is suitable for you increases the chances of success. If you enter into a relationship blindly without knowing anything, you may not gain anything, and both you and the other person may get hurt, physically or emotionally. The fact that no guys are pursuing you right now and there isn't anyone you particularly like indicates that the timing is not yet right. You don't have to force yourself to date. Dating should come naturally, from the heart. Besides dating, there are many other things in life worth experiencing. Focus on building yourself, doing things you enjoy and nurturing yourself. When you learn to love yourself, attracting a partner becomes easier because the self-loving you will radiate from the inside out. Think about the kind of life you want in the future and then work hard to study and strive for it. This will give you confidence and determination. When you know what you want, you will feel very certain in your heart, and you will no longer feel so nervous, shy, or mentally dull when communicating with guys. Perhaps at that time, your suitable Prince Charming will appear.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello (^_^)/ Everyone wants to have a sweet relationship when they enter college, but they find that it is not as easy as they think. What kind of guy do you like? What are your criteria for choosing a partner? Do you focus more on a guy's appearance or other aspects? ##Psychological Mechanisms of Mate Selection## \u2460Similarity \u2461Complementary differences \u2462Social exchange. Think about what kind of guy you want in your mind. Set a goal and take it step by step. \u2460Expand your social circle and make new friends. \u2461Interact more with the opposite sex and improve yourself. \u2462Identify your ideal person and focus your emotions on him alone. \u2463Increase contact, chat more, and take things slow. \u2464When the opportunity arises, make your feelings clear through actions. Love cannot be forced, and it may succeed or fail. Maintain the right attitude and make decisions that you feel are worthwhile. Let it happen naturally, and if it doesn't, wait patiently. What is meant for you will come. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Hi, OP! The phase of 'wanting to be in love+no one pursuing+falling in love easily' is quite classic! I've experienced it too. It's clear that you have a longing for love, but you lack personal experience, and those around you (at least your roommates) do not provide a clear reference. At this stage, your imagination about love is still in the fantasy stage, so it's not a 'superficial view of love,' but rather an undeveloped view of love. I suggest you observe real love stories around you to enrich your understanding of love; it's not advisable to rely solely on fictional love from literature and movies to shape your own imagination of love. Also, there is no need to feel pressured when interacting with boys; you should not feel pressured in any respectful interpersonal relationships. Everyone is different, and individual differences outweigh gender differences. If you encounter someone you hope to develop feelings for and want to have more interactions with, make sure to understand him as an individual rather than applying so-called 'general characteristics' of a certain group to him. As for feeling nervous, I suggest trying to see the other person as a 'person,' rather than someone of a specific gender, and then engage in conversation. Maybe you won't feel as nervous that way. I hope you can have a happy romantic relationship when the time is right! Good luck~.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. After reading your description, I can totally relate. I'm a sophomore this year and I also have no dating experience at the age of 20. However, I have always wanted to be in a relationship, although I'm not really sure what kind of person I'm looking for. It feels like anyone could be a potential partner. I'm sharing my experience to let you know that this kind of thinking is normal. Firstly, because our current age is in early adulthood, we yearn for intimacy and our hormones are more active, leading to a stronger desire for love. Seeing many happy couples around us also stimulates our desire for intimate relationships. Therefore, it's common to often have thoughts of wanting to be in a relationship. Secondly, you mentioned that your understanding of love is shallow, but that's because you haven't experienced it yet and don't know what you want. Even if you have feelings for certain boys, actually being in a relationship with them might not necessarily be what you truly want. I believe you don't want to casually enter a relationship. So don't rush and wait patiently. Your Prince Charming will come soon. Just focus on yourself and become the best version of yourself while waiting for him. I hope my answer can help you and I hope you find sweet love.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In relationships, I believe that as long as you use sincerity, you can exchange for sincerity, even if it is a sincere rejection, it is much better than fake procrastination. Don't try to manipulate people's hearts with tricks, showing off skills and cunning won't last. Respect is the most fundamental principle in two people's interaction. You should constantly strive to understand each other, to be considerate of each other, to compromise and accommodate each other. It's not about one-sided self-sacrifice, but the joint effort of both individuals. One more thing, if you want someone to love you, then you have to learn to love yourself. Self-love is not selfishness, but confidence. Otherwise, how can you face the person you like? I recommend books like \"How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You,\" \"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,\" and \"Intimate Relationships.\" These books provide both theoretical and practical guidance!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello miss. Through reading your question, I understand that your main issue is desiring to find love and get out of being single. However, nobody is pursuing you and the people you are interested in are not consistent. Actually, not being pursued by anyone doesn't necessarily mean that you are not excellent. It could be because certain aspects of your personality make guys perceive you as less gentle, or perhaps you display some aggression in certain areas, causing guys to hesitate in pursuing you. It could also be that your way of speaking and behaving is not very gentle, like being a bit tomboyish. The specific reasons vary for each person, so you can discuss your personality and mannerisms with classmates and friends. As for your lack of consistency in liking someone, this is actually a common occurrence. My classmates have also expressed similar thoughts to me. Of course, this doesn't mean being promiscuous; it is rather an expression of distress. In fact, you can question yourself about the people you simply think are good in your daily life, there must be many. But what does it mean to like someone? I think firstly, it's about attraction, a certain quality about him that captivates us. Secondly, it's being willing to sacrifice for him, not a huge sacrifice, but something we wouldn't do for anyone else, something unique to him. And finally, it's being willing to become a better person for him, improving oneself in various aspects. Of course, this is just my personal viewpoint and not very mature. Professional miss, you can refer to some books, and this learning process is also a way of improving oneself. Finally, I hope you have the courage to break through and challenge yourself. If you want some changes in your life, you have to step out of your comfort zone. Actually, it applies to other things as well, stepping out of the comfort zone to meet a better version of yourself. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20875
       },
       {
        "question": "Review clock, savings exhausted, heart also panicked, how to deal with anxiety and impatience?",
        "description": "Reviewing, no job. Living off of past achievements. If I continue like this and don't pass the exam, I won't be able to take it next year. I'll have to start working. I don't even know if working will be satisfying. After all, the career I've envisioned is in the direction of the current exams. Time is precious, money is precious, once used they can't be regained. But my foot is injured, resting for half a month, wasting half a month, it feels like my heart is bleeding. Facing parents, loved ones, classmates, neighbors, constantly being pressured for marriage... Resting at home, the more I rest, the more exhausted I become... I'm also worried about my review plan... During my student years, I was good at studying, but because I had too much on my mind, it affected my academic performance and caused me to miss the best study opportunities. Resting for one day, I'm anxious for one day. I've been resting for half a month now, at this moment, time is more precious than money.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expression of emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a big hug. If it is a profession that you truly love, you must persevere and not give up. If you give up because of your current difficulties and the opinions of others, you will regret it for a lifetime. These problems will naturally be solved once you succeed, but if you give up, you will live under the shadow of these problems. I believe that basic needs are not a problem now, even if you rely on your parents for a period of time, it's understandable during this special period. I suggest you let go of all anxiety, focus on your studies, and all problems will be resolved once you succeed academically. I wish you success, keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7072
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old female, has always had a tendency for self-harm, what should she do?",
        "description": "Since primary school until now, I have always engaged in self-harm behaviors. Specifically, this includes repeatedly rolling off the bed, pinching and scratching myself (unable to break the skin), strangling myself, hitting walls, and pounding different parts of my body. Every time I am under a lot of stress, such as not being able to finish homework in middle school or arguing with my significant other, I engage in self-harm. Do I have a psychological problem? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-harm, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, have you had breakfast? People who engage in self-harm are often people who have fallen into despair, enduring harsh living conditions and filled with uncertainty, fear, pain, and hopelessness. They resort to self-harm as a way to combat a highly dissociative state and to reconnect with reality. I have been engaging in self-harm since elementary school. Specifically, it includes rolling off the bed repeatedly, pinching and scratching myself [not breaking the skin], choking myself, hitting walls, and pounding different parts of my body. Is this considered a psychological problem? Honestly, I am not sure because the determination of \"psychological problem\" is based on multiple criteria, usually assessed based on the duration of the problem, the degree of impairment in social functioning, and the level of mental distress. Every time I experience great stress, like when I couldn't finish my homework in middle school or had an argument with my partner. It seems more like an extreme form of emotional release or a self-punishing, self-deprecating emotional release. It is a way to exchange self-harm and self-deprecation in order to obtain concessions and compliance from others. I guess there are some characteristics in my personality structure that involve unequal power struggles in my relationships with others. So, whether there is a psychological problem or not, it depends on whether there are any obvious conflicts and distortions in other aspects of my personality. OP, you are a kind person who would rather harm yourself than others. Every time, you choose to redirect your anger towards yourself and transfer your pain from your mind to your body. I think, most of the time, the pain in your heart surpasses the limits you believe you can bear. You didn't mention what has happened to you from childhood to now, so I can't understand your pain from my own perspective. However, I believe that every choice you make is certainly the best for yourself in order to protect yourself. Because fear, pain, and stress are all psychological energy for us. No matter what method we choose, there must be a reasonable need underlying the thoughts and actions of self-harm. Since you want to solve your self-harm problem and suspect it may be a psychological disorder, consider going to the hospital and letting doctors diagnose you based on your clinical symptoms, and then follow their guidance. Psychological problems are the result of comprehensive judgments, and self-harm is not just a problem. So, can you try to look at the meaning behind your self-harm impulses from a different perspective? Or maybe we can delve deeper into the psychological truth behind our self-harm? The world and I embrace you warmly.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Subject, it's nice to meet you here! Let me share some of my thoughts that I hope will be helpful to you. From your description, it can be seen that you are aware of your self-harming behavior when facing difficulties in studying or emotions. The emotions at that time cannot be relieved, perhaps because the subconscious is at work. What is the subconscious? It is a long-term suppressed and hidden consciousness, which can be positive or negative. The positive subconscious can promote our growth and learning, resolve inner troubles, while the negative subconscious is prone to self-harm and affects our lives. Your self-harming behavior belongs to the negative behavior of the subconscious. If you want to change, you must activate a positive sense of self. When faced with difficulties or things that you find difficult to solve, you should face them bravely. If you have limited abilities, seek help from your family and friends instead of fighting alone. Because when you lack the ability to overcome your emotions or difficulties, your subconscious will retreat, and you will harm yourself to soothe your inner self. Sometimes, this pain may transfer to the body, but it is not advisable. You need to face the pain in your heart actively and heal it through self-motivation, seeking help, and other methods, allowing your inner self to calm down. Step by step, overcome the child within you, do not fear, consciously overcome it slowly, and you will definitely get better. If it is indeed difficult to control your emotions, then it is necessary to seek professional psychological help, find some methods that suit you, and help yourself in relieving stress. I hope this sharing can be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems that the poster has developed a habit of releasing emotions. The poster says that whenever they are under great stress, they tend to self-harm, such as when they can't finish their middle school homework or when they argue with their significant other. Emotions can lead to different behaviors and external expressions. Emotions themselves are neither good nor bad, but behaviors can be categorized as good or bad. Often, we may not dislike our own emotions, but rather dislike our emotional behaviors. For example, when we get angry, we may break things or even self-harm. Anger as an emotion is neither right nor wrong. It exists for a reason. However, the behaviors triggered by anger, such as breaking things or self-harm, are not good and can be replaced with more reasonable alternatives, such as going for a run. Therefore, when faced with our own emotions and emotional behaviors, we must be mindful to differentiate between them. When you are feeling agitated or angry, simply take a cup of tea, touch it with your hand, feel the touch of your fingers on the cup, and experience its temperature. Is it hot or not? Can you drink it? Just feel it and return to the present moment. When you can connect with the present moment, your emotions can be immediately controlled, and you will no longer trigger emotional behaviors.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confession, I deeply understand your pain and give you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1 When a person is mentally suffering to the point of contemplating suicide, they may resort to self-harm as a way to transfer their mental pain to physical pain. As the mental anguish is alleviated, a sense of pleasure arises, leading to repetitive self-harm that becomes hard to stop. 2 So, how can this problem be resolved? Learn to confide in someone. Whenever you feel the pain, find someone to express the negative energy in your heart. Once it is spoken out, it will be okay. The internal suffering will diminish. 3 If you cannot find someone to confide in or want to eliminate negative emotions within yourself, it would be best to seek a psychologist. Through psychological counseling, you can achieve unprecedented growth. They will help you identify the root of the problem, target the issues, and guide you in cultivating a peaceful mind. Thank you for your question. May the beauty of the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14542
       },
       {
        "question": "27-year-old male, got into a fight after arguing with his father. His father initiated the physical altercation, accusing him of being disrespectful.",
        "description": "My older brother and I went out to drink at Starbucks, and later my brother said he needed to pick up a child and sent me home. In the meantime, my brother talked to me about my job. When we got home, I was a bit angry. He was also very angry and started hitting me. We had two arguments in between. I threw his phone at him, and he then punched my neck by going around the tea table. We fought near the tea table. My godfather, Mr. Jiang, pulled me away. He kept knocking me down and violently hitting my neck. I grabbed his private area, and then he let go. I stood up and picked up the lid of the tea can next to me to hit him, but I only hit the ground. I broke the clay pot on the ground to create obstacles. He rushed towards me, and I picked up a broken piece and hit him on the head. He pulled me onto the armrest of the sofa, pressed my head against the wooden armrest, and struck the back of my head violently, causing me to suffocate. I reached for his eyes with my hand. My godfather mentioned that there was blood. It was only then that he realized it and took me and my godfather to see a doctor. He didn't take me to see a doctor though. I ran to my grandmother's house, and my sister even contacted me and said not to go back home. If I go back home, she will call 911. I said, \"Go ahead, call them. I'll tell them about my injuries, and at least it can get my dad locked up for 10 years for attempted murder. He has no family except himself. He still talks to me about humanity. Every time we fight, he's the one who starts it. Afterward, he pitifully claims that I hit him and that I'm not filial.\"",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: As the saying goes, \"Tigers fight, brothers unite; father and son soldiers on the battlefield.\" How did it turn into infighting? However, from a psychological perspective, every child's problems must have the influence of their biological parents. From your words, I can sense that you have a strong dislike for your father, and it is likely that he has done many things that have made you unhappy. Also, if you truly respected your father, why would you fight with him? Don't worry, we can analyze the situation. Perhaps you have a lot to say but don't know how to express it and analyze the problem. 1. You went out for Starbucks with your brother, and he said he would take the kids and send you home. During the ride back, there was some tension, and both of you got angry. This argument (mentioned here) refers to the argument with your father after returning home, right? Does your father often have grievances about your work? The arguments between you and your father may have been accumulated over a long time. 2. You threw his phone at him, and he dodged it, then hit your neck on the edge of the tea table. A fight broke out. Your godfather, Mr. Jiang, pulled you away. He kept knocking you down and hitting your neck relentlessly. You grabbed his groin to make him let go. You stood up and picked up the lid of the tea canister to hit him, but of course, you didn't hit him, it hit the floor. Actually, from a physical strength perspective, your father certainly couldn't beat you, and it seems that he also saw your \"restraint\" because you didn\u2019t really hit him. It seems like you both have a lot of resentment towards each other, but continuing like this will only be detrimental to both of you. 3. The clay pot was smashed on the ground to create obstacles. He rushed towards you, and you picked up a shard to hit him on the head. He pulled me onto the sofa armrest, pressed your head against the wooden armrest, and fiercely hit the back of your head, causing you to choke. You reached for his eyes. Your godfather said from behind, \"There is blood.\" Only then did he realize it and took you and your godfather to see a doctor. (These two paragraphs describe the details, and it seems like it is still fresh in your memory. I want to ask: Does your father behave this way towards others? Do you behave this way towards others as well? Or is it only between you and your father?) 4. He didn't take you to see a doctor. You ran to my grandma's house, and your sister contacted you and said not to go home, threatening to call the police (110) if you did. You said, \"Go ahead, call. Just tell them about your injuries. At least it can put Dad in prison for 10 years for attempted murder.\" (Both sides are family, why is your sister taking your father's side? In the process of fighting, it is obvious that your father can't beat you, so she must be afraid that you will go back and attack him again, right? But you also feel wronged, so you said, \"No one took you to see the injuries.\" You and your father hurt each other (both physically and verbally), which is not good for anyone. Can you choose a different way to communicate in the future?) 5. He only has himself and no family. He talked to me about humanity. Every time we fight, he is the one who starts it. Afterwards, he pitifully claims that I hit him and that I am not filial. (It seems that you have had fights more than once, and he is always the one who starts it. Does he think that when he hits you, you shouldn't fight back? Then, since you can't handle the relationship well, you can create some distance between you, so that you won't end up fighting. Otherwise, you will just get the reputation of being unfilial. Isn't that right?) Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you can ease your emotions and learn to respect each other! If you have any confusion, feel free to message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Growth is about finding breakthrough points, changing trajectory, and spiraling growth to become a better version of oneself. The protagonist of this personal journey describes a scene that seems like a fragment from a Jin Yong martial arts drama, telling the story of getting into a physical altercation with an elder brother and godfather. After the altercation with the godfather, because the godfather is an elder, the protagonist is criticized by family members and receives feedback that they did something wrong and were not filial. Faced with this feedback, the protagonist feels very aggrieved because they believe it was the godfather who initiated the conflict and they were only defending themselves. Social circle: The protagonist cannot bear this injustice from the altercation, mainly because they believe in revenge. They struggle with the contradiction between traditional respect for elders and the desire for revenge in society. In the context of the father-son relationship, we generally believe that the father is superior and has the right to discipline the child, but the son cannot strike back at the father. The protagonist's belief is that if the father strikes first, then he shouldn't blame the son for being heartless. So the protagonist applies the principles of interacting with friends to their relationship with their father, which brings them deep distress. Changing trajectory: Cognitive reshaping: The protagonist's belief is \"I won't harm others, but if others harm me, I will harm them back.\" But the protagonist hasn't differentiated between different situations and relationships in this belief. They should reflect on the specific circumstances of the altercation. On the other hand, they are facing their own father, their own family. They should put aside this belief at this moment and consider the problem from the perspective of the family, making sacrifices for the betterment of the family. Emotion control: The altercation between the protagonist and their father is also caused by emotions. The protagonist's emotions led them to not recognize themselves and do something they didn't intend to do, even though they felt regret later on. But the protagonist doesn't allow themselves to admit their mistake, so they use the excuse of their father striking first. The protagonist can learn to control their emotions, especially when they feel angry, by being aware of their emotions and then controlling them. Emotions can lead the protagonist to do things they don't want to do. Cognitive reshaping - Emotion control - Changing trajectory - Spiraling growth - Becoming a better version of oneself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your vent, I deeply understand your pain. Here's my analysis: 1. I sympathize with your unfortunate situation. Dealing with such a violent father is difficult. You are now an adult, but he still doesn't show the slightest respect a father should have. He continues to resort to physical punishment without any mercy. He has never considered your feelings or understood the emotions you go through. He only releases his own anger. 2. Having a father like that is truly unlucky for you. However, every age group has responsibilities that come with their age. As you mentioned, you are already 27 years old. At this age, you should be getting married and starting a family, and then focus on building your own household. 3. If we were still underage, we could blame our original family for the pain they caused us. But now that we have grown up and become adults, we need to take responsibility for our own lives. If your father has caused you harm, you can choose to distance yourself from him and the original family. Focus on pursuing your own happiness. Rely on yourself for strength and support, as they say, \"A person who doesn't rely on themselves will be forsaken by the heavens and earth.\" Keep going! A stranger from afar wishes you success in exploring the world, and may you return home in glory. You will discover that the world becomes much more pleasant and welcoming. Thank you for your question, and may all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's a bit incoherent and possibly too excitedly written. Whoever initiates physical violence is at fault. However, it is a grave mistake to use excessive force. I cannot imagine a father who can lay hands on his own son without considering the seriousness of the act. It is unfortunate that it seems you don't have the opportunity to reason with him or others. However, since you're already 27 and can support yourself, you don't need to care about anything, right?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Liu Feng's analysis: 1. Fighting. If you win, you go to jail; if you lose, you end up in the hospital. 2. Fighting itself is a harmful and self-destructive behavior. 3. Why does fighting happen? When talking doesn't solve the problem, people resort to physical violence. However, in reality, physical violence doesn't solve the problem, but instead exacerbates it. 4. When it comes to fighting, it takes two to tango. So the cause of fighting is not only one-sided, but both sides have their reasons and both need introspection. 5. How can we effectively prevent fighting? When someone wants to physically harm you, the best strategy is to quickly dodge and walk away. Without someone to fight against, a fight cannot occur. 6. You are younger than your father, and your reaction speed and agility are definitely higher than his. So when your father wants to hit you, you can quickly dodge and choose to walk away, which will prevent a fight. Without a fight, there will be no mutual harm.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15651
       },
       {
        "question": "How to persuade my father to quit smoking or reduce the frequency of smoking?",
        "description": "My father used to drink heavily when he was young, but he quit drinking after my grandmother passed away. However, he has been a long-term smoker, which has caused him to cough frequently recently. I am very worried because my grandmother died of lung cancer, and there have been many conflicts due to his smoking habit. My father is a very sensitive person. He often believes that when people around him laugh or chat, they are mocking or talking about him. Now, whenever I mention the issue of smoking, he gets angry. I don't know what to do anymore, and I want him to seek psychological counseling.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent-child communication, and sibling communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I can tell that you are a very filial child and are very worried about your father's health. If your father is already at a point where he gets angry at the mere mention of smoking, I think it is necessary to seek psychological counseling. Psychological counseling has a great power, and I believe that under the guidance of a professional counselor, your father's situation will improve. Here are my personal opinions, and I hope they can also be helpful to you: If your father gets angry at the mention of smoking, it means that he subconsciously believes that smoking is harmful to his health, and he may also want to quit but find it difficult. If that's the case, I think you don't necessarily have to directly tell him to quit smoking or only emphasize the negative effects of smoking. Instead, you can talk more about the benefits of quitting smoking, such as (1) even just one day without smoking, the benefits to the heart, blood pressure, and circulatory system will become apparent. After one year of quitting smoking, the excess risk of coronary heart disease decreases by half compared to continued smokers. (2) After 5 to 15 years of quitting smoking, the risk of stroke drops to the level of a non-smoker. There are also benefits after 10 or 15 years of quitting smoking, and you can mention them from time to time. If one day or one morning you notice that your father smokes less than usual, you can praise him. Encouragement is also needed for elders, and perhaps under your praise, he will smoke less the next day, gradually reducing it even more. In your writing, you mentioned that your grandmother passed away from lung cancer. On one hand, your father may be under too much stress due to grieving for his mother, and he may be using nicotine to numb himself. On the other hand, we all know that smoking harms the lungs the most. There is a symptom in psychology called \"conversion disorder.\" You can consult a professional counselor about this, as I am still a student and cannot provide a more in-depth explanation. These are my suggestions, and I wish you and your family a happy and healthy life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19157
       },
       {
        "question": "I have attempted suicide before, but failed. Now, my temper has become very irritable and unpredictable. I tend to enjoy being alone, avoiding social activities, and feeling overwhelmed easily. I often feel hopeless, restless, and have trouble sleeping.",
        "description": "I have attempted suicide before but didn't succeed. Now my temper has become very explosive and unpredictable. I prefer being alone and don't like communicating with others. Whenever I'm in a bad mood, no matter when or where, I engage in self-harm. I even have dreams about killing people. I feel very insecure and always keep a knife by my side. Is there something wrong with my mental health?",
        "keywords": "Growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, at this moment you still feel pain. When we let the pain flow through our bodies, it will gradually nourish us, and perhaps in the future, we will gain a new strength from it. Don't forget that you can take a break, pause for a moment. Time is meant to be felt, and we still have time. When you're tired, take a rest.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22277
       },
       {
        "question": "Should there be privacy space in relationships between men and women?",
        "description": "After entering college, my girlfriend and I were separated by distance, and we would call and video chat multiple times every day. Recently, she asked me to provide her with my WeChat and QQ passwords, but I also want to have some personal space. So, should I give her my passwords or keep my privacy?",
        "keywords": "Love, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I saw your question. Should there be privacy space between boyfriend and girlfriend? The answer is yes. Not only between boyfriend and girlfriend, but even between spouses, there should be some privacy space. However, the boundaries in intimate relationships are often an issue that we easily overlook. It seems that when the relationship becomes closer, the space for privacy is squeezed. Otherwise, it is seen as mistrust or lack of honesty. But it is not like that. Privacy space is also our own space. A good relationship should be both intimate and independent. However, in your specific situation, you and your girlfriend are in a long-distance relationship, which can bring feelings of insecurity for both parties. The fact that you have multiple phone calls and video chats every day shows that you are trying to compensate for the feelings of insecurity in this way. However, it may not be enough for the girl, so she may expect more control, such as needing your WeChat password. You can discuss this part with her. How to lower her anxiety while preserving your personal space. This is an opportunity for both of you to face the reality together, whether it will increase trust and emotions between each other or destroy it, will depend on how you communicate. Alright. Best wishes to both of you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sharing passwords is merely symbolic, and you may need to have a deeper discussion about what your girlfriend really needs. Certainly, everyone needs their personal space, so normally, I think it's not a problem to share passwords once the relationship reaches a certain level of intimacy. Of course, not sharing is also your right. If sharing can make the other person feel more at ease, why not? If the other person feels at ease, they may not necessarily go snooping around your information. However, if after sharing, she accesses your information without your consent, that's a lack of trust and respect. This should be clarified before sharing, because a relationship without trust and respect is hard to sustain. Moreover, without trust and respect, giving out all your passwords is pointless. In long-distance relationships, it's normal for both partners to have insecurities and worries. How do you resolve them? 1)Both parties should try to actively share their daily or recent life and study situations, as well as some information about the people around them. Additionally, they can engage in proactive video calls. Here, I emphasize being proactive. 2)Avoid discussing uncertain or groundless matters to prevent causing unnecessary distress to the other person. 3)When the frequency of calls and video chats becomes too burdensome for your life and studies, sincerely communicate your feelings and find a mutually acceptable way to address the situation, rather than avoiding it. 4)If you are unable to respond to the other person in a timely manner, explain the possible circumstances and the expected response time in different situations, so that the other person is clear in advance. If you did not respond, it could be because you were... 5)Take the initiative to create opportunities to meet in person. 6)Try to remember and commemorate the special dates between the two of you, and remember to send greetings or gifts, even if it's just ordering takeout. 7)Express missing each other every day, affirm each other more, and give encouragement. 8)When the other person needs you, try to respond proactively. When you cannot fulfill a request, sincerely explain that you're unable to do so, without compromising your own well-being... In short, put in more effort, understand each other's needs, and let each other know your own boundaries. If you follow these basic principles, there shouldn't be any major issues. This is for your reference.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\ufe0f**This is undoubtedly her control desire at work. Behind it may be her security issues. Of course, this may depend on the level of trust between you two or whether there have been any recent trust incidents. From the perspective of a marital relationship, in Sternberg's Love Triangle, passion, commitment, and intimacy are all particularly important in a romantic relationship. Therefore, to maintain a love relationship, it is necessary to consider these relevant factors. Trust is in the realm of commitment and requires mutual trust. This means there needs to be appropriate privacy space for emotions to last. \u03b5 I wish you well. I am here, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I would like to share my thoughts on this matter and hope that it can help you! Reflection: Why does the other party want the password? Is it because there is not enough trust between each other, or do you lack a sense of security and want to demonstrate your importance through this, or is there another reason? Speak honestly about your thoughts and seek the underlying reasons behind the incident. Ask yourself: What is your bottom-line principle in this matter? If the attribution is inaccurate, there will still be other behavior that continuously expands boundaries. Principle-based freedom brings security and love!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3787
       },
       {
        "question": "Some issues are always heavily influenced by others, with unstable self-identity.",
        "description": "Recently, I have been lacking interest in my new job and feeling unsure about whether I am suitable for it. I feel confused and torn. A few days ago, a colleague casually said something that caught my attention. She said, \"This job is not bad, at least it offers freedom, more freedom than being a regular teacher, and it's better in many aspects than being a school teacher.\" Upon hearing that, my interest in the job unexpectedly sparked. I felt that this job is indeed suitable for me and started to experience the enjoyment it brings. My mood has been extremely good these past few days. Ah, am I extremely unstable in terms of self-identification?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality improvement, character traits, self-development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, how are you? Here, the host gives you a hug, which is also good for you. It helps you to adapt and comfort yourself in a timely manner. When facing a new job, the host is not interested and feels confused. You only take this job to make a living. The unintentional words of colleagues actually serve as guidance. Because you can't figure out or know what interests this job brings you. But the words from colleagues are like pointing the way, enlightening you and helping you find the interest in this job. At least it makes you feel good in the short term, and you have passion and motivation for this job. You can quickly accept it. Although you were initially uninterested in this job, you didn't resist it either. The words of colleagues also gave you an epiphany and comforted you, allowing you to quickly accept this job. If you had resisted this job from the beginning, no matter what your colleagues said, you wouldn't have liked this job. Even if you eventually got convinced, you would still reluctantly accept this job. Instead of reluctantly accepting it, it is better to take the initiative to accept it, comfort yourself, and be able to work efficiently. You can continue with this job until you find something you are interested in. Colleagues' words also provide a source of self-comfort. You don't reject this job, but you are not interested in it. You feel somewhat lost, and when doing the work, you just mechanically complete your tasks. \"This job is pretty good, at least it's more flexible than being a regular teacher, and it's better in various aspects than being a school teacher.\" By comparing this job and putting yourself in a better frame of mind, you accept this job. Hobbies and interests don't necessarily have to be work-related. Hobbies and interests are developed in your free time. In that sense, this job is relatively free, and you have more time to develop your existing interests. From this perspective, your instability brings you more benefits, giving you motivation and eliminating the lack of interest in your work. If your instability continues to benefit you in important matters, then it's not a bad thing. As long as you're not indecisive about major decisions, it's all good.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
            "start": 16,
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           },
           {
            "start": 45,
            "end": 97,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 97,
            "end": 203,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 203,
            "end": 269,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 269,
            "end": 332,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 332,
            "end": 391,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 391,
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           },
           {
            "start": 423,
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           },
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            "start": 484,
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            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 521,
            "end": 547,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 547,
            "end": 651,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 651,
            "end": 698,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5812
       },
       {
        "question": "Three years ago, when we added our ages together, we were 30 years old. I can't forget her, what should I do?",
        "description": "Three years ago, she started liking me because of an \"accident\". I felt both excited and nervous, not knowing what to do and feeling lost. I didn't understand what it meant to like someone. Time passed slowly, and we remained in this ambiguous state. On Halloween in eighth grade, she confessed her feelings to me. I rejected her, though I don't remember the reason. We continued in this ambiguous state, why did I reject her? Perhaps it was because I cared about her past, or maybe it was because of my own insecurities. Perhaps it was both. After the high school entrance exam, she confessed again. I truly don't know why, not even I myself know why I rejected her. It was as if I had become a different person. (I once thought maybe it was due to my self-protection.) Afterwards, we had no contact. I had a decent summer vacation. I thought I was heartless. But gradually, I began to think of her. During a gathering in my freshman year of high school, I got drunk and sent her an email, trembling as I typed it. After that conversation, I thought I had let go. But time still slapped me in the face, not heavily, but it hurt deep inside. Now, three years later, I'm thinking of her again, not like the prolonged pain in my sophomore year of high school. This time, the pain hits me directly in the heart, even affecting my normal studying. Why can't I forget her? What should I do? No matter how hard I try to avoid this pain, it still comes. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, attachment, affection",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading OP's confession, I deeply understand your pain of longing. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1 At the age of third grade of junior high school, both the inner emotional world and the external body are not that mature. Your love is also a bit confused, full of the awkwardness of puberty. Therefore, you rejected her, and you couldn't clearly explain the reasons behind it. As you said, it may be because you care about her past, or it may be your own self-doubt. 2 Your actions at that time were correct. Because love is like a tide. If the channel is not yet formed and the water comes first, it will flood and become a disaster. That will no longer be a sweet love. However, even though you rejected her, this relationship is deeply engraved in your heart. 3 You can't forget her, just like nobody can forget their first love. Jay Chou once said, the taste of first love is like a Pacific saury, both cats and you want to know. What is luxury? It is something we didn't care about in the past, but now we can no longer get it. When we lose it, we feel it is even more precious. What should we do to break free from this pain? That is to salvage this relationship or start a new love. Thank you for your question, and may all the goodness in the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19405
       },
       {
        "question": "It feels good to be alone at home, but when I go back to school, I feel like I've lost myself again.",
        "description": "These past two weeks, I've felt like I've lost myself again when I returned to school. It's really awkward in the dorm. When I wake up, my roommates are already sleeping and they close the curtains, making the room pitch black. At night, when they sleep and it's dark again, it's really annoying. I can't do anything, like skincare or applying face masks, in the dark. It's frustrating. Originally, our daily routines weren't that different, but now they're becoming more and more different. They only follow their own rhythms and it's so annoying. Plus, they wake up early in the morning to study. First of all, they talk loudly and wake me up several times. Secondly, their early morning studying makes me really anxious. I'm productive, but I just can't wake up early. It completely messes up my rhythm! It was nice being alone at home, but when I came to school, the overall noise from them was just too much. Some of them make exaggerated jokes and pretend to agree with everything. I don't even want to talk to them, but it feels disturbing. Sometimes, I have no choice but to listen and it's so annoying...",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts and disagreements, roommates and classmates, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. The rhythm of your life with your roommates is different, and your own life is always disrupted by them, making you feel anxious and annoyed. This is the nature of living together as a group in a dormitory. It is easy to be influenced by them. Living on campus also requires tolerance for each other and the need to accommodate their lives, even if it may be involuntary. Let's discuss the issues you have encountered one by one. When you wake up, your roommate wants to take a nap and the room is pitch black. You can place a small desk lamp on your desk so that when you need to do something, you can turn on your own lamp. The light is not very strong, but it is enough for your makeup needs. Your roommate wakes up early in the morning to go to class. You can try to wake up early yourself, as it is also a good habit to sleep and wake up early. If you really can't wake up, you can discuss with them and ask them to be quieter when they leave in the morning. You feel that your well-organized life has been disrupted by them, and seeing them makes you feel annoyed. However, you can also try to integrate yourself with them. You can chat with them and you may find that your roommates are actually quite interesting. Being together with a group of people can also be enjoyable. But we must think in a positive direction. Living in a dormitory is inevitable in college. So we can only change our mentality and make ourselves happier in college life. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9185
       },
       {
        "question": "The man said he wants a divorce, and he has always been passively resistant. What should I do?",
        "description": "I asked him how long he had been having these thoughts, and he said it had been around two to three years. I didn't bring up this idea with him before, and he has been passively resisting it all along. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, Divorce",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ In fact, the state of two people during the process of marriage will not always remain on the same frequency. There will always be fluctuations in emotions. Maybe over time, the things that attracted each other will gradually be lost to the trivialities of life. It is not someone's fault, but something that happens in every relationship. It will eventually return to being mundane. So, actually, you can calmly communicate with your partner, whether it's a passionate new person or not, you will always experience the same mundaneness again. Ask if there are any unacceptable issues in your marriage, if the two of you can overcome them, and if you can talk about them and solve them together. It sounds simple, but it is very difficult to do.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16374
       },
       {
        "question": "Difficulty concentrating while reading, eyes wandering, and an uncontrollable mind filled with scattered thoughts.",
        "description": "From the beginning of my sophomore year, I had trouble concentrating in class and couldn't really pay attention to the teacher's lectures. In my senior year, I started to have frequent daydreams and my mind would wander. I also kept thinking about negative things. Over the past year, I've noticed that my eyes seem unfocused, and when I read, the words start to blur. What is happening to me?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confession, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: \n1. \"What is wrong with me?\" Judging from your symptoms, my conclusion may be that you have overexerted yourself. For example, not getting enough rest, lack of leisure activities, and not balancing work and rest. \n2. Each class is 45 minutes long, and there is a 10-minute break to relax. However, you use this time to do homework, read, and review notes. You haven't allowed your mind to rest and prepare for the next class. This results in your mind being constantly under tension without relaxation. \n3. Because your mind is under too much pressure, it starts to malfunction. The problem is lack of concentration, wandering thoughts, and even blurred vision when reading. Therefore, you need to learn to relax during breaks. Take a walk in the corridor, chat with classmates, and give yourself a break. Only then can you study more efficiently. Thank you for your question, and may all the goodness in the world come to you as planned.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15450
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do men make video calls on WeChat when talking to their parents?",
        "description": "Why do men make video calls on WeChat when talking to their parents, but only use voice calls when talking to their wives?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "When children are young, they are afraid of their parents. As they grow older, they become afraid of their loved ones. This fear stems from the inconvenience it brings. Different perspectives lead to different expectations. To live a more comfortable life, one must hide various things. As one grows older, the control of parents diminishes, making it possible to video chat freely. However, it is different with loved ones. Various problems can arise from seeing the background through video chats. It may even spark arguments. It becomes difficult to hide even a small lie. Naturally, video chats need to be avoided. Sometimes, it is unnecessary to pay too much attention. It is important to give each other space.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8054
       },
       {
        "question": "Should you choose someone you like yourself or listen to your parents' opinions?",
        "description": "I am attracted to a 35-year-old man, but I am 22 years old. Is this not normal? My mother yelled at me today, saying that his family background is not good and that I only like him because I lack fatherly love. But that's not true. I feel like I lack happiness. I grew up in an environment of domestic violence and have always had poor mental health. He makes me happy and can always cheer me up. I have dated many people before, but it never worked out. I am very conflicted about what to do. I can't say that I love him, but I do really like him. I used to love someone very seriously, so now I can't love anyone else. But it would still be difficult for me to break up with him.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In love, age is not a problem. He is several years older than you, and that is not the key issue. However, your mother opposes your relationship because his family's financial situation is not good and she believes that you are attracted to him because you lack paternal love. While I don't know the specifics of his situation, based on your description, it seems that you grew up in an environment of domestic violence and it appears that your father has not treated you well and has engaged in violent behavior, am I right? Growing up in such a family environment, you may lack normal and sufficient paternal love, leading to an unhappy life and the inability to establish secure attachment patterns. Internally, you may have a certain longing for a father figure and paternal love that has never been satisfied. These unmet needs and attachment patterns remain hidden within you and, as you grow into adulthood, they influence your pursuit of intimate relationships and love. Many of us experience this, as the influence of our parents on us occurs unconsciously, and our perception and impression of our parents is also stored in our subconscious. When we search for a romantic partner, we unconsciously look for a reflection of our opposite-sex parents, namely our father or mother, and tend to choose a partner who is similar to them or has complementary characteristics in order to compensate for the absence of a parental role. Therefore, this older individual who can make you happy, provide a sense of maturity and reliability, and care for you, fulfills your inner need for paternal love. From this perspective, your mother's opinion is also reasonable. Although you mentioned that it is because you lack happiness, in fact, happiness is included in the feeling of reliability, attention, care, dependability, and safety. Regarding your statement that you can't love someone else, in addition to having been hurt in past relationships, the negative image established during your father's violent upbringing also affects your perception of and relationships with the opposite sex, hindering you from establishing healthy and normal intimate relationships with them. This aspect requires self-awareness on your part and understanding of your psychological state. As for your romantic relationship with this man, you need to understand what your true emotional needs are and if happiness is just one of them. In love and intimate relationships, there are more factors to consider. For example, what are his personality traits? What is his character like? Do your values align? Can you both respect, tolerate, and understand each other when you're together? If you plan to get married, you also need to consider his financial situation, future plans, and so on. Are you truly compatible? Can you accept and mentally prepare yourself for it? Age is indeed not the problem; the key is to consider multiple factors to see if they are suitable. Perhaps it sounds practical, but it is also to avoid discovering certain aspects that are incompatible or causing conflicts, or even emotional harm, after being together. I hope my answer can give you some inspiration. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, I would like to say that in matters of emotions, your own experience is the deepest and most genuine. Trust your inner feelings, after all, it's you who will spend the rest of your life with this person, not your parents. Perhaps your parents are concerned about your well-being and fear that you may suffer in the future. However, when it comes to the future, it is ultimately your own choice. Perhaps this person gives you a different feeling compared to your family environment, allowing you to experience something new. As long as you have enough confidence and strength in this person and in your future together, I believe you will find happiness. These are just my personal thoughts, and I hope they provide you with some guidance.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Loving someone is a personal matter, and marriage can become a matter of two families. Sometimes it is difficult to find a balance point. When both the left and right paths have problems, perhaps you can choose either left or right, or you can choose not to choose. Maybe you need to ask yourself what you really want. What will your choice bring you? Because this is your marriage, this is your life. A marriage with an age difference of more than ten years can be called a \"cross-age marriage,\" which naturally brings some problems. When you are in your prime, he may age before you, his health may decline before yours, and the age difference may bring anxiety to the older party about the security and certainty of the marriage. These things may disrupt the quality and stability of the marriage, and these are things you need to consider. Here, let's try to step out of the question of whether to choose him and see what you really want. You described that you lack happiness and have been living in an environment of domestic violence, and you have always had poor mental health. You also mentioned that you used to love someone very sincerely, so you find it difficult to love someone else and it's hard for you to move on after the breakup. This may be an important reason for you to choose a cross-age marriage. Your psychological wounds have not healed, and it seems like you are unable to love. These can all be significant factors affecting the quality of your marriage. If you enter a cross-age marriage with these conditions, do you think it will be a good start? It should be acknowledged that some cross-age marriages are indeed filled with love and happiness. Compared to those marriages with an age difference of two or three decades, your situation can only be considered average in cross-age marriages. By asking questions and expressing that you are unable to feel love, you may be expressing your concerns about this marriage. Before entering the marriage, you may need to consider the possible impact of the factors mentioned above. Once you genuinely decide to enter into marriage, both of you should dedicate yourselves to managing the marriage well. A marriage that is jointly managed by both parties will be more reliable in quality.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#I like a 35-year-old man, I am 22, is that not normal?# It is your freedom and right to like a 35-year-old man at 22; from your personal perspective, there is no problem. #My mom yelled at me today, saying that his family conditions are not good.# Your mom pointed out an objective reality, his family conditions are not good. What does this mean? For example, does he live with his parents? So if you marry him and live with him and his parents, would you be okay living with two 50-60 year old people? Could you accept that? Another comparison is if his income is just enough to support his own expenses, then after you marry him and have children, your life with the child would be very difficult. I think your mom might be worried about this. #I have been living in an environment of domestic violence since I was a child, and I have always had poor mental health. #Hmm, this is indeed a very bad experience. But can this not be one of the reasons for you getting married? You may need to leave this family, but still need to be cautious. #I have met many potential partners, but it hasn't worked out. #Hmm, this needs to be analyzed specific reasons, can't just generalize? The success rate of blind dates is relatively low. #I used to love someone very seriously, so I can't love others anymore, but I still find it difficult to break up with him. #Because you loved someone seriously, you can't love others? Does it mean that you still have feelings for him? So you can't accept the love of other men? Since there is no love, why do you feel \"difficult\" to break up with this man? If you need to chat, you can leave a message or private message.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear OP, seeing your situation, I think although your boyfriend is a bit older, that is not a problem. The main thing is how your relationship develops. As long as you feel that you are suitable for each other and genuinely want to be together, then your mother's concerns will no longer exist. Take some time to quiet your mind and truly feel your emotions before making a decision. Wishing you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is easy to be happy together, and often people in love think that being happy together is true love, and that they truly like each other. But real love often comes down to whether you can be unhappy together, whether you can face problems together. You are currently involved with a man who is 13 years older than you, he may like you and you like him too. But if you encounter real problems, can you face them together? Can you integrate into his world? What will be left after the passion fades? Can you face all the future challenges? Is he really worth entrusting yourself to? If all the answers are positive, then go ahead (it's your heart's answer, not what he tells you verbally). If not, let go of this relationship and focus on improving your charm, perhaps a new love is not too far away.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2329
       },
       {
        "question": "Female college senior, attributes success to external factors and failure to internal factors, how to change?",
        "description": "As mentioned above, when I achieve good results, I tend to attribute it to luck, the simplicity of the questions, or the lack of competition. However, when I fail, I tend to believe it is because of my own lack of ability. I am currently feeling very unhappy and have low self-esteem. How can I change this?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think you are a person who is very self-aware and seeks personal growth and self-improvement. Your question resonates with my state of mind during my junior and senior high school years, and at that time, I firmly believed that this kind of thinking was correct. I remember one time when I did well on a test, the teacher asked me to share my experience on stage. I said, \"This time was just luck, maybe I'll do poorly next time.\" The teacher was very angry after hearing this. In fact, you are much better off than I was at that time because I never doubted that my belief was wrong and never had the idea of wanting to change. Since you mentioned internal and external attributions, let me talk to you about Weiner's attribution theory: Weiner's theory consists of three dimensions and four factors. The three dimensions are: locus of control (internal attribution + external attribution), controllability (controllable + uncontrollable), and stability (stable + unstable). The four factors are: \n- Ability - stable internal attribution\n- Effort - unstable internal attribution (controllable)\n- Task difficulty - stable external attribution (uncontrollable)\n- Luck - unstable external attribution (uncontrollable)\nWhen there is success, attributing it to internal factors generates a sense of pride and increases motivation, while attributing it to external factors creates a sense of luck and reduces the feeling of success. Attributing failure to internal factors leads to guilt, while attributing it to external factors leads to anger. Attributing success to stable factors generates a sense of pride, while attributing it to unstable factors creates a sense of luck. Attributing failure to stable factors leads to despair, while attributing it to unstable factors leads to anger. Attributing success to controllable factors motivates further effort, while attributing it to uncontrollable factors does not generate much motivation. Attributing failure to controllable factors leads to continued effort, while attributing it to uncontrollable factors leads to despair. I think a good attribution style can enhance self-efficacy and increase motivation, creating a positive psychological state for future learning and life. Of course, this does not mean that success should be attributed to internal factors and failure to external factors. I believe it is more important to focus on the controllable components, as individuals have different attitudes towards ability, which can be divided into a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. Having a fixed mindset is more conducive to personal development. Analyzing the psychology behind attributing success to external factors and failure to internal factors: \n1. Early education and environmental influence with immature educational concepts, promoting modesty and suppressing pride and self-confidence, have a significant impact on current attribution styles. Moreover, your current attribution style may be reinforced and supported by people around you.\n2. It is essentially due to self-doubt and the belief that one is not good enough. Although you did not specify the specific internal and external factors, I believe you see both internal and external factors as stable, unchangeable, and uncontrollable.\n3. Maintaining self-worth and self-esteem. When success is attributed to internal factors, the underlying psychological belief may be that because it is an internal factor, I should succeed next time as well, otherwise others will mock me and I will perceive myself as lacking ability. Therefore, I believe that my success is accidental, so even if I fail next time, it will not affect my sense of self-worth. When failure is attributed to internal factors, the underlying psychology may be that because my ability itself is not good enough, that's why I failed. If it were due to lack of effort, it would be a moral judgment, while lack of intelligence is not. Alternatively, it could be because I didn't put in enough effort that I failed, and if I make an effort, I will surely succeed, rather than believing it's because I lack ability. The specific reason may vary from person to person and may require further exploration on your part. As for how to change, firstly, you can learn about various attribution theories, as well as self-efficacy and the growth mindset, through the internet or professional books. Then, have a clear understanding of your current state. Secondly, accept yourself in this state instead of blaming or excluding yourself. Then, reflect on the benefits you have gained from your current attribution style, which are the underlying psychological motives that lead you to continue using this kind of attribution. Finally, believe that you can make a change, and believe in your own courage to withstand the discomfort or pain that change may bring. In other words, you can reattribute past experiences and consciously attribute future events. Of course, it will be uncomfortable and you may struggle at first, but don't doubt yourself. What matters is not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up. What matters is not where you are, but the direction you are heading in.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in your narrative, it seems that you are not willing to give yourself a high evaluation, or it seems that giving yourself a negative evaluation will make you feel more secure. The idea of \"attributing success to external factors and attributing failure to internal factors\" must have its meaning in your life. You are willing to maintain this kind of self-denial pain, and relatively speaking, it will bring you something. If you can notice this part of yourself, perhaps you can find better ways to change or replace it. I am an assistant to Teacher Hui Ming, and I would like to send you a message from Teacher Chen: \"Having lived in the city for a long time, I still long for the tranquility and serenity of the countryside. I enjoy the peaceful time of reading books and also love the feeling of sweating on the sports field. I enjoy the pleasure of finishing a full 40-kilometer marathon. However, only after traveling to dozens of countries in Asia and Europe and experiencing various local customs, did I realize that my home is in the depths of my soul, the most beautiful and warmest haven. And, through experiencing the ups and downs of life and reading about various aspects of human society, only the inner self is the source of vitality in life, the harbor of peace.\"",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "How can this be changed, you have already mastered a very important mindset. This mindset will benefit you greatly in your future life. Really. It will help you make more progress and achievements. Do you think about it, turning yourself into an arrogant and self-centered college student, someone who is disliked. No way, you are fine as you are. Because this mindset has been instilled in you since childhood, hoping that you will become successful. You cannot lose, you must always win. So you often put too much pressure on yourself, and you are constantly on guard against others. Always trying to surpass others but finding it difficult to do so. In fact, those of us who have come to realize this now know that success first requires understanding oneself, finding one's own abilities, not always thinking about exclusive competition, but cooperation and win-win situations. The scenery on the sunny road and on the single-plank bridge both have their own beauty, one is not better than the other. Then you become yourself, become yourself on the future path of life, which may bring you many temptations. You may quickly achieve the goal of becoming someone else, like the current trend of counterfeits, clones, and plagiarism, which can bring overnight fame, but those things do not belong to you and will only burden you. Finally, it is about surpassing yourself. Sometimes, I think surpassing oneself is already an ideal situation. Adults being enthralled by games is actually a form of spiritual escapism, the number of people who can truly surpass themselves in society is truly rare, so it is better to consider becoming oneself as already a success.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9005
       },
       {
        "question": "17-year-old girl, why do I always have some inexplicable possessiveness?",
        "description": "It is clear that we are just friends. However, I don't like it when he (she) jokes around with other people, as I always feel abandoned. And when they have someone else, I feel sad and upset. I will slowly distance myself from him. Slowly cut off all contact with him. But deep down, I still can't let go. What is the reason behind it all? I wonder. It seems that every person I accept into my life will eventually have someone else. They forget about me, no longer need me. Or maybe I feel like I am just an extra person.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friend, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Well, you are very concerned about relationships and afraid of losing them. The feeling of being abandoned is a very devastating feeling, even though it won't actually happen. Perhaps these feelings have a deeper history. In previous relationships, there was a lack of solid trust. It's quite a profound issue. It is very meaningful and valuable for you to be able to feel and express these things. Don't rush, take your time to observe the changes in the relationship, don't rush to escape (try to stay in place, afraid of getting hurt, you can set boundaries between yourself and others, what you can give and what you can't give, only give what you can give comfortably without hurting yourself), and don't rush to give too much to the other person (sometimes, a person who fears losing a relationship may also compromise themselves).",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16870
       },
       {
        "question": "How to alleviate work and study stress? I hope to have specific answers.",
        "description": "Can you analyze the causes of stress from a psychological perspective? I really want to solve these problems for myself and the people around me. Thank you...",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's not talk about the definition of stress. Stress is everywhere in life, but I believe that you must have had moments when you didn't feel any stress while doing something. There must be differences between those moments and the times when you feel a lot of pressure at work or in school. These differences are the directions in which you think and face stress. You mentioned wanting to solve these problems for people around you, which shows that you are a very caring person. However, you need to know that everyone perceives stress differently. What you think is a lot of pressure may not be the same for others, and what you think is no pressure may be overwhelming for others. Additionally, the methods you find effective in relieving stress may not necessarily work for others. You can consider ways to help people around you release stress, such as venting, talking, exercising, etc.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, give you a thumbs up for thinking so much. Stress, that love-hate buddy of ours. Let's first take a look at the definition of stress. Stress is a cognitive and behavioral experience process formed by the combination of psychological stressors and psychological stress responses. In simple terms, stress is a negative feeling and negative belief that a person experiences when they feel unable to cope with environmental demands. It seems that stress is usually associated with negative emotions and negative beliefs. When negative emotions transform into positive emotions and negative beliefs turn into positive beliefs, stress can turn into motivation. Here, you mainly want to understand how stress is formed in studying and working, and how to effectively relieve it. From the definition of stress, we know that when our performance is lower than the demands of the environment, that is, our performance fails to meet the requirements of the environment, we may experience negative emotions such as doubt, embarrassment, shame, and develop negative beliefs like \"I'm not good enough\" or \"I am a failure\". So how to effectively relieve stress? Either improve our abilities or reduce/change the demands of the environment on us. Clearly, enhancing our own abilities is a proactive method that promotes positive cycles. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6384
       },
       {
        "question": "Can music with alpha waves really help in the treatment of depression?",
        "description": "Would playing music with alpha waves while sleeping at night help with depression?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ According to research abroad, it has been found that listening to alpha wave music can keep the brain awake and relaxed, improve concentration, stabilize emotions, and enhance memory, focus, creativity, and imagination. It also has helpful effects in treating insomnia. Therefore, from this perspective, alpha wave music can play a supportive role in treating depression. During your leisure time, you can relax a bit by listening to music in this way and keep your mood calm. The recovery process of depression may be lengthy, so it requires a lot of patience. But we must believe that eventually we will come out of that shadow. Don't feel bad about yourself or think that you have done something wrong. You are really good; you just have a little psychological cold. So let's wait together for this little cold to get better. Regardless of what makes you happy in your daily life or the people who make you happy, spend more time with them.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 4510
       },
       {
        "question": "Are the strange thoughts and suffocating feeling before the exam a psychological problem?",
        "description": "The exam is important to me, but because my previous registration photo was strange, I asked the teacher to help me replace it. Now I am constantly worried that there might be a problem with the registration system, even though I have already paid the registration fee. However, my name is listed on the final registration list announced by the teacher. Am I having a mental problem? I hope everyone can provide some answers.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, anxiety, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ I completely understand your feelings, sending you a hug~ Having strange thoughts before an exam is probably because this exam is important to you, so you may feel some anxiety. This is a fairly normal phenomenon and not a psychological problem. It is unnecessary to worry about the registration system malfunctioning because the chances of such an event happening are almost zero. Even if there is a problem, it is not your fault and there is nothing you can do about it. The fact that everything is going fine indicates that your worries are somewhat unnecessary. The key is to adjust your mindset and face the exam with a calm and composed attitude. Before the exam, it's good to relax a bit and review the exam content. Have reasonable expectations for yourself and tell yourself that as long as you perform normally, it's okay. Don't focus too much on things that you can't change. Engaging in some relaxation meditation exercises will be helpful. Believe that everything will go smoothly. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, you don't have any issues, it's all very normal psychology! Just like how some people get stomachaches when they're nervous, you don't need to worry. When thoughts come, embrace them kindly and say thank you to them. Tell them they must be here to help me, to love me, and to transform any thoughts into positive ones. Imagine thoughts as light, dissolving in sunlight. No matter what thoughts they are, they come because they love you, and you have no issues, you are very healthy. Gently tell yourself, I am fine. Right now, what you need to focus on is being present. When any distractions come, dissolve them and turn them into motivation for your studies. Love you, wish you well. Allow the appearance of thoughts, it's all very normal phenomena.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21507
       },
       {
        "question": "High school, do you want to be selfish and not face your middle-aged and elderly self? Do you want to live selfishly until the age of 30?",
        "description": "I am a high school student, and my school life is very happy. My grades are not bad. My parents are in a same-sex marriage, and I come from a large family where I don't have to inherit or take on any responsibilities (I also don't have much to inherit). I don't have any psychological disorders, and my mood is very stable. I don't empathize with my parents. I have friends that I keep in contact with both at school and outside of school. I don't have any financial problems in my family. I have never encountered anyone that I like romantically. I want to buy life insurance at an early age. I want to live alone, have a cat, take exams, study the major I'm interested in at university, and then pursue postgraduate and even doctoral studies. I want to be financially independent and ultimately die at around the age of 30. I don't want any accidents to disrupt my plans. I don't want to face my middle-aged or elderly self, get married, or have children. I don't want to see my former teachers or classmates. I want to remain young forever, but I also want to experience something beyond that.",
        "keywords": "Growth, development patterns, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sometimes, some of a person's thoughts may seem nonsensical and without reason on the surface, but if examined closely, the underlying subconscious can be revealed. Just like with physical health, many people believe they are in good health, but few can truly be considered healthy, as there are various minor issues. Minor psychological issues are even harder to detect and are often misunderstood or misinterpreted. Your current thoughts do not seem to indicate a positive and healthy psychological state. You express a desire to die at the age of 30 and to remain young forever. Freud's psychoanalytic theory identified the concept of fixation, which suggests that if a person's needs are not met during a specific stage of psychological development, they will be unable to move on to the next stage in a normal manner. You mentioned that your parents have a \"marriage of convenience,\" which may suggest that they have little emotional attachment to the institution of marriage and may not provide you with enough love and care. This could lead to your unfulfilled longing for love and a desire to remain in a youthful state. The state of your parents' marriage has also exposed you to the unhappy side of marriage, causing you to avoid facing the adult world and wishing to die at the age of 30. These are all speculations based on your description, and the specific reasons will need to be discovered and realized by yourself. I wish you the ability to discover your true self, the hidden self beneath consciousness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u2460Living alone in college, raising a cat, taking exams, studying the major you love, and even pursuing a master's or a PhD, achieving financial independence, all of these are absolutely possible. However, as young people, we are most passionate about planning. I also really like it. When I decided to ride a bicycle to school every day to exercise, it often rained during that time. You must be mentally prepared for accidents, but there are solutions to accidents, and if you are determined, you can achieve them. \u2461I know that you are full of enthusiasm now, thinking that it would be great to live a passionate life. I used to be the same, happy and carefree. The reason why I don't want to grow old in middle age is because it is completely different from the present life, and it is scary because it is unknown. But later I found out that plain and simple life is also happy, and different lives have different flavors, just like being in your teens or thirties. And for the age of 30, I can almost guarantee that you won't do that. Because when you really reach the age of 30, you won't bear to say, \"I have never met someone I like\" in high school, it's still early, it doesn't mean that everyone has already paired up in school, and you have missed out. When you truly meet that person, you will cherish them even more. It's not just about meeting the person you like, it's the same with many other things, you just haven't met them yet. 30 is different from being a teenager, but don't you really want to experience it? You have perfect plans, an independent personality, maybe your life right now is exciting, and you handle your friendships with ease. But don't you want to know what you will be like after 30? You don't have to think about it so far away right now. When that day comes, what you want to do, you will naturally do it as your heart desires.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 43,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 43,
            "end": 63,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 63,
            "end": 97,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 97,
            "end": 136,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 136,
            "end": 165,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 165,
            "end": 178,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 178,
            "end": 261,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 261,
            "end": 370,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 370,
            "end": 395,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 395,
            "end": 510,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "During junior high school, I used to believe that living until the age of 30 was the maximum limit of life that I could accept. I even made a pact with my friends on how to leave this world at the age of 29. Now that I am 40 years old, I am still living without any purpose, and I think I will probably live for a long time. Of course, those friends of mine are all living exciting lives. Qian Xuantong, a writer in the Republic of China, once angrily said, \"A person should die at 40, and if not, they should be executed.\" He said this too early and later he probably forgot, but his friends did not forget. On September 12, 1927, Qian Xuantong celebrated his 40th birthday. In response to Qian Xuantong's past bragging, Hu Shi gathered a group of well-known literati, including Zhou Zuoren, to plan a special issue of the magazine \"Yu Si\" titled \"Qian Xuantong's First Step Towards Becoming a Benevolent Person\". When Qian Xuantong turned 41, Hu Shi sent him a song. He said, \"You are now 41 years old, and I have made a commemorative song for the anniversary of our deceased friend Qian Xuantong's journey towards becoming a benevolent person. I hope you will like it.\" In the end, Qian Xuantong passed away suddenly from a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 52. If it weren't for his sudden illness, Qian Xuantong would still be leading a purposeless life. After all, at that time, he was living quite comfortably. From the description given by the topic creator, according to secular standards, it can be considered as a relatively good life. However, it feels like there is a hole in your heart, an empty hole that you don't know how to fill and you don't want others to step into. I think the biggest problem lies in your original family. You mentioned that your parents had a sham marriage, and you don't empathize with them. With this kind of family relationship, coupled with a sensitive personality, it is very easy to develop hidden depression. It's like watching someone smiling, but deep inside they are in extreme pain. I suggest that the topic creator seek counseling from a psychologist. Seeking psychological counseling is not only for those with mental illnesses. The world loves and cares about you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6718
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't want to burden others anymore, I'm really tired, and I want to commit suicide.",
        "description": "I hope someone can give me a painless way to commit suicide. I don't want to burden others anymore. I'm really scared and tired. I'm afraid of being ridiculed by others, afraid of the disappointed looks from teachers and parents. I constantly trouble others and burden them. I really don't want to live anymore. I want to be a good student, but I can't do it. I also thought about being a bad student, but I can't even do that. I don't want to let them down. I'm tired, living is really exhausting. I don't even have goals or ideals. I don't know what kind of person I am. It's so tiring, really tiring. Can you please tell me a painless suicide method? I don't want to burden others anymore.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, panic, helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"#A sentence for the disheartened# Have you ever stored memories in an object? For example, storing a beautiful memory on a train ticket. Keep this ticket, and when you see it in the future, you will recall those days. You can also seal away unpleasant memories in an item, like a small glass bottle. Write down this experience, put it in the bottle, and use a permanent marker to write 'Open on November 25, 2029'.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You can choose a special day and do something that has a sense of ritual. After doing it, treat it as if you have already died once. From then on, every day is the second chance to live. This time, live for yourself without caring about others' expectations and take a good look at this world. If you still cannot control yourself, you can call the 95 Hope Hotline for help.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11841
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old sophomore girl, struggling to tolerate her roommate's behavior, how should she adjust?",
        "description": "We have a close relationship and usually eat together during class. She often falls asleep during class and doesn't take notes. When she wakes up, she looks at mine. It happens too frequently. When she needs to look up the meaning of a word, she doesn't use her own phone and asks me first. If I don't know, she asks me to look it up. It really affects my concentration in class. She likes to argue with me or speak in a confrontational manner, and I'm afraid to refuse her. It makes me frustrated every time I attend class. How should I adjust?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflicts and disputes, roommates and classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, it can be seen that you have a close relationship with your roommate. The advantage of this \"grouping together\" feeling is having a companion, but the relationship should be equal and have boundaries. Some of your roommate's behaviors sound like a needy baby and a bossy master. This clingy and unequal relationship not only violates your psychological boundaries, making you feel angry and annoyed, but also a form of psychological exploitation and control, making you feel powerless and exhausted. Recommendation: Learn to set boundaries for yourself. When the other person makes unreasonable demands, learn to refuse. Refusing requires inner strength, so when you clearly feel angry but cannot refuse, it is because you have fear. Therefore, try to first return to your own inner self and become aware of what fear is present within you at this moment. Seeing the fear, allows you the possibility to resolve it and gain the power to refuse. Try expressing your true feelings to the other person. For example, when you ask me to look up words for you, I feel very distressed because agreeing to your request would affect the quality of my own listening in class, but if I refuse, it will make you unhappy. I hope next time you can look them up by yourself.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 161,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 161,
            "end": 288,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 288,
            "end": 370,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is evident that you have a lack of security. In this group relationship, you have always been in a weaker position, unable to refuse, afraid that refusing will break the relationship and afraid of being alone. Your relationship is imbalanced, with you always accommodating her, and she takes your kindness for granted. This unbalanced relationship makes you feel uncomfortable. A healthy relationship should be equal, and both parties should feel comfortable together, being able to express themselves without suppressing their thoughts because of the other person's needs. If you want to change, start by refusing one of her requests, such as asking her to look up words herself, and see how she reacts. If she is unhappy with your refusal, you may need to reconsider your relationship. Dare to express your thoughts and feelings instead of suppressing yourself and seeking approval from others. If you don't speak up, others will never know what you are thinking. Don't assume that just because our relationship is good, she will understand what I'm thinking. Additionally, don't limit yourself to just one friend, focus on personal growth and make more friends. I hope my answer can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. It's not really that close, but you can't do without her, but at the same time, her behavior puts you in a difficult situation, right? Let's break it down: not being able to refuse\u2014establishing bottom-line thinking\u2014establishing a countermeasure against others' offenses. It is important for students to establish bottom-line thinking. At the very least, friends should be the icing on the cake, not disturb your studies. So, what is your definition of a friend? Can you accept a friend who challenges you, disturbs you, but can also stick together with you? No matter who it is, we all need to have a bottom line, which is not allowing others to maliciously degrade us and trample on our dignity. If someone does so, you need to apply your wisdom and either explicitly counterattack or quietly distance yourself. Changing her behavior towards you, we don't need to save anyone's soul. You are all adults, and she has her own thoughts, but we can change her behavior towards you. The best way to handle her without losing face is to firmly and gently tell her your feelings, telling her she can ask you questions after class (without disturbing you), and telling her you don't like how she challenges others. If she still doesn't understand, then next time, you can sit one seat away from her. This way, you can put pressure on her behavior while maintaining a range where you can control how you present yourself. Your fear of refusing others or expressing your own opinions to some extent indicates that your self-personality needs further improvement. So, you can practice the feeling of connecting with others with anyone you have the chance to interact with, and practice the self-value and self-feeling you get from interpersonal relationships. And she is a good choice. If you see her as a personal trial, would you still be afraid to express your own opinions? Enjoy the time alone, develop other friends, and engage in activities like running and reading. I wish you a good college life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you! There is a saying that distance creates beauty. When you get closer, you are bound to encounter some bumps and conflicts. Today, you talked about your relationship with your roommate, which has reached an unbearable point. I feel sorry for you, who have always compromised for the sake of friendship. You have worked hard in this relationship. How should you adjust? I don't know either, perhaps comforting yourself with a few words like: \"How big of a deal is it? Let it go. Forget about it.\" Then have a good meal and a good night's sleep. The sun will rise as usual tomorrow, and the unhappiness in your heart may dissipate. But what I'm afraid of is that it won't be long before your roommate creates trouble for you again... \"A stitch in time saves nine,\" establishing personal boundaries is especially important. Whose problem is this? Yours? Hers? God's? For example, if she wants to borrow your notes because she didn't attend the class, whose problem is it? It's her problem, isn't it? She should take responsibility for it. And if she asks you the meaning of a word, whose problem is it? Hers, right? And if you don't know the word and she still wants to look it up, whose problem is it? The topic creator might say, \"Well... I can differentiate... but I can't reject it or say no...\" Okay, after completing the first step, I recommend reading \"The Courage to Be Disliked\". It's more like practical psychology than theoretical psychology, with many useful ideas from individual psychologist Alfred Adler. For example, the inferiority complex is just an excuse. All worries stem from interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal relationships bring about competition, jealousy, and self-disgust. They also make us wonder if we should live up to others' expectations, which is worth exploring and can inspire us to rethink the meaning of life. Thank you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! I can sense your confusion. After reading your description, I feel that you are a very warm person. Our lives are like a train, with people getting on and off. Some people may only accompany us for a short while, but that companionship is valuable. It's also a kind of fate that you and your roommate became close. You feel annoyed by some of her habits. Although they may seem like small things, they are things you have to deal with every day. We often say that we should learn to say \"no\" to others. I think you can express your attitude appropriately. If your roommate falls asleep in class, as a friend, you can remind her to pay attention. If she borrows your notes, you can lend them to her as long as it doesn't affect your own study. But when you need to use them, you should tell her directly that you also need to look at them. Regarding looking up words, you can tell her to look it up herself because you need to pay attention to the lecture and don't have time to help her. The more times you refuse her, the less likely she will boss you around. When she argues with you, you can tell her that you don't like her tone of speech. If she continues to disregard your feelings, you can distance yourself from her. The premise of having a deep friendship is feeling comfortable when together. Perhaps you are afraid of rejecting her because you don't want to strain your relationship, and that's understandable. However, if a friend causes you a lot of trouble and it seriously affects your classes, it may not be worth it. What do you think? Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! First, I'm sending you a big hug. Let's take a look at your problem: you have a group relationship with your roommate, and it's easy to be influenced by them in class. Since it's a group relationship, it means you are only together for company. If your roommate's habit of not taking initiative and affecting your study efficiency, it's better to distance yourself from her. It's okay to have a buddy, but if that buddy is impacting your daily life and study routine, then it's not necessary. After all, you need to be responsible for your own future, and she doesn't. An ineffective group is not as good as being alone or finding someone who truly shares your aspirations. Your roommate loves to argue, speaks rudely, and you're afraid to refuse her. This shows that she takes your kindness for granted, which is why she acts so recklessly. I don't know if you're afraid to refuse her because of your personality or because you're afraid of being ostracized by your roommate. If it's because of your personality, then be a little brave, try to say no, learn to refuse, and you will find that there will be fewer things to deal with. If it's because you're afraid of being ostracized, I want to tell you that in life, nobody can accompany you forever, including your parents. Instead of sacrificing yourself to accommodate others, it's better to keep a distance from them. Some people will never fit into the same circle, no matter how much you compromise. In that case, it's better to be alone, and eventually, you will find like-minded friends. As for feeling agitated in class, I suggest you openly communicate with your roommate about the impact of her behavior on you, or sit alone. Don't be embarrassed or afraid, studying is the most important thing. I hope my answer can help you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I really hope I can help you. There is a saying that distance creates beauty. Getting closer will inevitably lead to bumps and collisions. Today you talked about how your relationship with your roommate has reached an unbearable point. I feel sorry for you, who have always sacrificed for friendship. You have worked hard in this relationship. How should you adjust? I don't know either, perhaps comforting yourself with a few words: Is it such a big deal? Look at it from a different perspective. Forget it, let it go. Have a good meal and a good sleep, the sun will rise tomorrow as usual, and any unhappiness in your heart may dissipate. What I'm afraid of is that before long, your roommate will come to bother you again... It is better to endure short-term pain than long-term pain. Establishing personal boundaries is especially important. Whose problem is this? Is it your problem? Her problem? God's problem? For example, if she wants to borrow your notes because she didn't pay attention in class, is that her problem? She should take responsibility for her own problem. If she asks you the meaning of a word, is it her problem? For example, if you don't know the word and she still wants to look it up, whose problem is it? You might say, well... I can differentiate... but I can't refuse or say it out loud... Okay, after completing the first step, I recommend reading \"The Courage to Be Disliked\". It is more like practical psychology than theoretical psychology, conveying many useful things from the individual psychology of Alfred Adler through simple dialogue. For example, the inferiority complex is just an excuse. All worries stem from interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal relationships bring competition, jealousy, and self-loathing. And whether or not we should live up to the expectations of others, it is worth considering again. If you are willing, you can message me and discuss this classic book with a group of book lovers. I sincerely want to help you, thank you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Simply put, there is a roommate who always annoys you and even argues with you. Although you are unhappy about it, you dare not show it and continue to maintain a close relationship with her. This roommate is so \"annoying\" because she hasn't been \"educated\", at least not by you, so she may not even know that her behavior is making you so unhappy. It would be ideal if your roommate could become \"self-aware\", but this ideal won't happen automatically. It is suggested that you think about why you \"dare not refuse\" \u2013 what are you afraid of losing? What you are afraid of losing is what you want to gain, and the discomfort can be seen as the cost of getting what you want. If you are willing to bear this cost for such gains, then there is no harm in continuing. However, if you are not willing, then reassess and adjust the way you interact with each other.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9502
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is the impression of first love so deep?",
        "description": "Not only me, but several of my friends are also like this, as if we have been cursed.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First love is pure for everyone. Most people take their first relationship seriously, so it leaves a deep impression. First love is a beautiful term that encompasses many wonderful things, so it leaves a deep impression. It may not be the best or the most beloved, but the past beauty is truly unforgettable, so it leaves an especially deep impression!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18164
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do if there is nothing to support me and I have no motivation or hope?",
        "description": "I have no motivation to live anymore, and I don't know what I want. There is nothing to sustain me. One by one, my friends around me have been diagnosed with mental problems, but they are not themselves anymore once they start taking medication. I always feel like I won't live until graduation, and everyone just makes my life worse. I went to a temple to ask for a divination, and the result was bad. My first reaction was that it's good, that something should happen quickly to make me die. With the current state I am in and the upcoming pressure, it feels like I can only rely on medication to keep me alive. However, I don't have enough income, and my parents strongly oppose me seeing a doctor and getting treatment because \"being diagnosed with issues will affect future job applications.\" I don't even know what I mean to them. As long as there's a breath left in me, it doesn't matter how broken I become mentally, right?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed mood, emotion regulation, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a warm, long embrace... Parents may focus more on the future, they have you in their hearts, that's why they consider your future. It's like someone with depression, outsiders cannot truly empathize, we need to understand that. They may not understand the extent of your current situation. Based on their own experience, they know that finding a job and working are important to you. They can ensure that you live longer and go further. For most people, they cannot see or experience the mental and psychological problems, they can only see concrete realities, so naturally they believe those are more important. Are you still a college student? Do you know how much time and money your parents have invested in you from the moment you were born until now? Have you thought about it? What will happen to them if you decide to end your life? Have you considered that? How will you repay the debt you owe them? Is it really true that everyone is only making your life worse? Why do you have the right to let others interfere and influence your life? What about yourself? Have you helped yourself to live a better life? I can see that you have. It's just that your abilities and strength are not enough. It's worth considering going to see a doctor, actually, you don't really want to die, you want to live, and you want to live better. Your friends around you may have given you negative feedback, further deepening your concerns about yourself. In fact, you're afraid of being like them, you want to be different from them. I know, in your current state, every day and every moment is difficult for you, I'm not sure why you have reached this point, but there must be some reason, can you think about it? When did your connection with your parents weaken? How are your relationships with friends and classmates? Is there something you want to do? Are there any dreams you haven't fulfilled? Interact more with people and things, establish connections, and naturally you'll find more support and energy. You're not only living in the present, you're also living in the future, subconsciously worried about the future. You haven't even reached the future yet, how do you know it will be filled with stress? If you're not afraid of death, why are you afraid of future pressure? Strive to live, live well, the future you will definitely thank the present you! I also want to see the future you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Don't worry, parents' thoughts are always so simple and rough. They only care about whether you can survive or not. It's already 9012, and you can make money to support yourself by doing anything casually, right? Don't pay attention to their old-fashioned mindset. It's okay to have mental problems. Who isn't anxious nowadays? I am 28 now without a job, partner, or children. I am also so anxious that I am about to die. Even a few years ago, I was depressed to the point of almost jumping off a building. At that time, I didn't know why I was alive. My work was unsatisfactory, my father was abusive, even after divorcing, my mother only complained about my father and criticized me. As a child, I couldn't argue with her or change her thoughts, actions, or words. I was in great pain and got stuck in my own thoughts. But one day, I suddenly emerged from my stuck thoughts\u2014I thought, if it was the end of the world, and all of humanity was extinct, leaving only me, without parents, partners, children, jobs, bosses, or even ecological environments with animals and plants, what should I live for? Yes, at that time, I should live for myself! Anyway, living, isn't it all about living for the sake of living? This is the most basic thing. Life is long, we can slowly find the reason to keep ourselves alive. If we want to live an advanced life, don't we all have to find that reason to survive and make it our driving force to keep going? Of course, before finding it, we should keep striving to live!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12839
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it appropriate for a parent to prioritize cooking for their adult child and neglecting their work?",
        "description": "I am a mom, and I go to work. My child eats takeout at home. Sometimes, in order to personally cook for my child, I will postpone work because I think takeout is not hygienic, and my child does not spend much time at home due to school. However, my behavior always puzzles my child. They believe that they are independent already, and my actions are overly doting. They strongly oppose me postponing work to cook. Should I follow myself or listen to my child's advice?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between children, and family health.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation! Based on your description, let me respond point by point. I go to work, and the child eats takeout at home. This is the current situation, after multiple adjustments and compromises. It may sound fine, but there are countless problems underneath. Perhaps after hearing my understanding, you will think in reverse: Wow! This is actually the best arrangement and state at present. \ud83e\udd14\ud83e\udd17Line 2\u20e3\ufe0f - Sometimes, in order to personally cook for the child, I will postpone work because I feel that takeout is not hygienic, and the child does not spend much time at home due to school. - \"Mother's perspective\" \u2022 You are willing to sacrifice your work time for the sake of the child. That is very thoughtful. \u2022 When the child is not at home, you want to cook something delicious for them. This is your way of showing love to the child. It seems that you put him first in all relationships during his growth process. This is the mother-child relationship, this is how you love him. \"Neutral speculation from the child's perspective\" \u2022 Takeout is not hygienic. This is common knowledge, and the child knows it, too. But, it is their choice. They have their own reasons and needs for choosing it. The nutritional value of food is seemingly objective, but it is also subjective psychological needs. Some people, when they are bored, like to lick ice cream and feel happy. Some people really love instant noodles and spicy snacks, even though they have the means to have fancy hotel food every day, but it reminds them of their childhood. The child's taste and dietary habits have their own needs and preferences. If you understand what kind of takeout they like, what kind of flavors they enjoy, rather than simply saying, \"You should eat what I cook, it is more nutritious,\" it may be easier for you to understand the child and make them happy with their meals. Just as no two chefs can make exactly the same taste, no two people have exactly the same taste. The food you cook is delicious and nutritious, and they like it. But they also have the freedom to choose takeout. \ud83e\udd17Line 3\u20e3\ufe0f - my actions always confuse the child. He thinks he is independent and my actions are too indulgent, and he strongly opposes me postponing work because of cooking. - The child needs to grow and become independent, but the mother can't let go. You can remember what he says and write it down, but your heart is still attached. I think your child also remembered the reasons why you cook, but there is also some resistance in his heart. This is what you called \"the child's confusion.\" \ud83e\udd17Line 4\u20e3\ufe0f - Should I follow myself or listen to my child's advice? - Stick to both of them. Possible methods include: 1. Make simple meals without affecting work. Whether it's steamed rice or cooking a dish they love, just one is enough, you don't have to cover everything, and then let them have the opportunity to order their favorite takeout as a supplement. The key point is to help you continue cooking nutritious meals for them without affecting your work. 2. Exposure therapy, simply stop cooking and eat takeout with your son every day. See for yourself what makes this not nutritious takeout so delicious, and ask your child why they like ordering from a particular restaurant, what do they like about it? It can help you understand their psychological state and preferences when ordering food even more. \ud83e\udd17Return to the initial state at the beginning - I am a mother, I go to work, and the child eats takeout at home. - In various situations where you can't move, the state you initially mentioned is the best. You have done what you wanted to do for your son, and after complaining, he lessens his guilt and throws it back at you, making him think that it is your indulgence that hinders his growth. And that's true. How could you support and acknowledge his \"ordering takeout\" when you don't truly understand what he likes? Of course, he needs to compromise and listen to your traditional opinions on \"nutritious\" food, and reluctantly eat it. How can he grow without the freedom to choose? Thank you for your effort and love as a mother. Although sometimes, letting go is another form of love, it carries pain, making us unable to resist the urge to intervene. That's all.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are confused between taking care of your child and working. I understand you, as I have also been confused about this. At this moment, I even remember a time when I was studying outside and my child was in the hospital receiving an IV drip. I skipped the long-awaited class with a professional teacher and hurriedly rushed back home. At that moment, I chose to be a mother. In life, we have many roles, we hurry through them, experiencing both joy and exhaustion, walking through each role with stumbling steps, and sometimes not knowing what to do. Perhaps, this is life, full of choices, whether we like it or not. Returning to the situation at hand, I don't know the age of the child, but it seems he has already seen and felt how difficult it is for you. When he feels capable, choose to believe in him, okay? Maybe he needs us to let go and give him the opportunity to grow. Although it is not easy. We may feel guilty compared to other parents and other children. We may blame ourselves when he walks slower towards independence than others. Letting go is also an act of love, as the parent-child relationship is destined to be a journey that gradually distances itself. Love is strength, not weakness. We can never give our children something we don't have. Believe in him, and bless him with strength, okay? As a mother who loves her child, I am here. The world and I love you.",
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            "start": 89,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems like the discussion is about the balance between work and children, as well as the differences in values between two generations. However, I would like to share my understanding from the perspective of parent-child communication. As a mother, I understand your love for your children and the sacrifices you make for their well-being, even if they don't understand it. You show restraint and do not express your feelings of being hurt. From your perspective, \"what you want to give your child is not just a meal, but compensation from a mother who is away from home. Takeout lacks nutrition and the warmth of a home. What you want to give your child is the 'taste of a mother.'\" Perhaps as your child spends more time away from home and grows older, he/she will come to appreciate and deeply miss his/her mother's care. I also understand your child's perspective. At his/her age, he/she longs for independence, their own space, and the ability to take care of their own life. This is more important to them than what they eat, because it brings them a sense of empowerment. Work brings them a sense of value, and they will feel grown-up, capable of leaving the warmth of home, and taking on social responsibilities. Your child is very mature. According to psychological theories of personality development, at his/her age, the developmental task is to move from the family to society. At your age, the developmental task is to gradually face the reality of your child becoming an adult and enrich your own life. In fact, it is not easy for both the child and the parent, and both need to adapt. There are no right or wrong ways to love. There is a saying that only a child who has been warmed by love can become independent. It is only with plenty of love that a child can communicate so openly with you. As parents, we always need to consider our child's needs. Long Yingtai has written about the mixed feelings a mother experiences when seeing her child off, and only parents who deeply love their children can understand it. It is said that the relationship between fathers and daughters and mothers and sons only means that your connection with him/her will continue throughout this lifetime as you constantly watch them walk away. You stand at one end of the path, watching as he gradually disappears around the bend, and he silently tells you with his back: \"There's no need to chase after me.\" - Long Yingtai, \"Watching as he Leaves\".",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP~ I totally understand how you feel. It's clear that you are torn between work and cooking for your child, and I can sense the deep concern you have for your child's health as a mother. Actually, many moms, just like you, always prioritize their children above everything else. A mother's love for her child is instinctive; no matter where they are or what they are doing, their child is always in their thoughts. I know a lot of moms who have quit their jobs and chosen to be stay-at-home moms, dedicating their time and energy to taking care of their children's lives and education. Moms always worry that their children won't eat well or be warm enough. They worry about not being around to take care of their children and feel the need to do everything themselves. I understand the emotions of being a mom, but as children grow up, there are certain things they need to face on their own. Moms can't be by their side forever, and they will have to rely on themselves as they walk their own paths in the future. [You would postpone work because you believe take-out food is unsanitary.] Compared to homemade meals, take-out food is indeed less sanitary, but you have your own job and can't take care of everything every day. Postponing work to cook for your child is not a long-term solution. [Your behavior has caused your child's unhappiness, as they believe they are already independent.] Your child is already an adult and has their own opinions and thoughts. They need to learn to live independently. From your description, it's clear that your child has a sense of independence and understands how to be considerate towards their parents without overly depending on them. Before reaching adulthood, children lack the ability to take care of themselves, and there are many aspects that require their parents' care and help. But once they become adults, children have grown up, and as parents, we need to slowly let go and give them space to grow freely. You can teach your child how to cook some simple and easy dishes, as they will have their own lives in the future, and knowing how to cook will be very helpful. The time you don't spend working can be used to make a delicious meal for your child. With more time available, you won't be hurried or stressed because of work afterwards, and your child will be more receptive. I wish you can overcome your worries, give your child some space, and reduce your own stress~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I noticed a key piece of information, which is that your child has come of age. Being an adult means needing to lead an independent life and have personal space, so he no longer wants you to take care of his meals, especially since it affects your own work. Of course, your concerns are valid, as frequently eating takeout may not be very healthy. If we consider only the health aspect, I think it is best to listen to your child's suggestion because being an adult means taking on responsibilities, and he is surely aware of the issues with eating takeout, so he can handle this responsibility on his own. If you want more opportunities to communicate with your child and have meals together, you can occasionally cook a meal for him. \"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.\" Actually, the best solution for this difference of opinion is to teach your child how to cook for himself, which is both healthy and won't affect your work. Of course, whether or not he is willing to learn may require further communication between you. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think your differences with the child must go beyond just cooking. So no matter whether you choose to do it or not, you will feel conflicted. The problem lies in the following aspects: first, differences in lifestyle habits. Second, differences in cognitive values. You believe health is the most important, and the healthiest meals are made at home. But the child may think: there's no need to waste time on cooking. Third, differences in behavior philosophy. You believe that all the efforts for the child are worthwhile. Delaying work to take care of the child actually puts pressure on her, and she will feel that it deprives her of the right to make independent choices, resulting in suspicion of interference with her freedom. In other words, your actions make her feel guilty. As parents, as the child grows up, they will feel that they can do less and less, so they will give their all; while as a child, they will enjoy the right to be in control and make choices during the process of growing up. Parents will feel that the child is drifting away, which may cause some anxiety, but trust that they will grow up in an instant at a certain time and gradually appreciate the greatness of their parents. So don't worry too much.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader: First, I would like to ask you a question - who gets to decide whether someone is a good mother? In the book \"Watching and Seeing Off\" by Long Yingtai, there is a wonderful description that I would like to share with you: I gradually came to understand that the so-called relationship between parents and children is simply the fate of constantly watching their backs disappear in this lifetime. You stand at one end of the path, watching them gradually vanish around the bend, and they silently tell you with their backs: there's no need to chase after me. As children grow up, as parents, how long can we provide meticulous care? When parents are not around, how should children take care of themselves? Perhaps this is a question we should think about more. We all understand the principle of giving a fish versus teaching how to fish, but when it comes to the people we love the most, we often forget this principle. Children will all grow up, and we also need to learn to see them with the perspective of their growth. Many times, the efforts of parents satisfy the needs of adults, not children. Being a good parent can start with letting go. May your efforts be visible to your children.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing the points you raised, there are a few areas where you have differences with your child: 1) Your child prefers to order takeout for meals at home, while you prefer to cook for them because you believe takeout is not hygienic. While it is understandable that you are concerned about your child's food health, perhaps you are overestimating the dangers of takeout. After all, your child orders takeout at home without experiencing any specific issues like diarrhea, which suggests that it is generally safe. Moreover, the existence of takeout itself implies its own reasoning, as it provides a convenient solution when one is too busy to cook. If you look at it from a different perspective, could you perhaps offer suggestions to your child on how to choose healthy takeout options? 2) Sometimes, you delay your work in order to personally cook for your child, while they consider themselves independent, viewing your behavior as overly indulgent. From this disagreement, it can be seen that either cooking has already exceeded your life arrangements, or you are using it as a way to prove your care and love for your child. The fact that you have brought up this question shows that you are already aware of the impact that cooking has on you. Perhaps you also do not want it to hinder your work. But why can't you let go? This is related to the second issue, which is that you believe cooking can express your love and care for your child. However, your child has made it clear that they are independent now, so it is necessary to moderately let go and allow them to cook or order takeout to solve their meal needs. Additionally, you can express your care through other means. I believe that by providing your child with the genuine care they truly desire, they will feel genuinely happy and comfortable. I wish you and your child a harmonious relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The child has already given you a clear answer, but you turn to the outside world to ask if it is appropriate. If you receive a positive response from the outside world, you continue to ignore the child's viewpoint. If you receive a negative response from others, you are being persuaded by others instead of respecting the child's opinion. Can you see the relationship between yourself and the child?",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9733
       },
       {
        "question": "Negative emotions, then relax, and negative emotions, revenge others, what's the difference?",
        "description": "After having conflicts with others, some people may experience negative emotions and choose to take a walk outside to relax. However, others, when experiencing negative emotions, may develop a hatred towards others and seek opportunities to seek revenge. What is the difference between these two reactions?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, aggression, compulsion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I am giving my analysis and I hope it can help you! The first sentence, \"When conflicts arise and negative emotions emerge, go for a walk outside to relax,\" belongs to normal psychological emotions. Each of us will experience negative emotions for various reasons in life. At such times, we need to release our emotions and regulate our mood. By taking a walk alone, we can calm down and reflect, helping us to calm our emotions and view the situation objectively and realistically, thus achieving a relieving effect. Here, we are under rational control and can well manage our emotions. The latter sentence, \"After experiencing negative emotions, hating others and seeking revenge,\" is an extreme, excessive thought influenced by negative emotions. Usually, we are not under rational control and our emotions are manipulated, leading to extreme emotions and the inability to think calmly and correctly. Here, we are controlled by extreme emotions and may engage in excessive behavior. In order to avoid acting excessively due to extreme emotions, we should learn to control our emotions. Your private mental counselor by your side. I hope my words can bring warmth to you! I also thank the occasional passing readers for their attention and welcome you to follow me and click \"useful\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The emotions generated by the former are very normal, because in real life, it is impossible for everything to develop according to one's own wishes. Conflicts with others can arise, and sometimes these conflicts may be beyond one's control and cannot be resolved through arguments. It is normal to feel negative emotions in such situations. At this time, it is good to know that one has negative emotions and go for a walk outside. This is also a good way to alleviate negative emotions, much better than keeping them bottled up inside. We also know that accumulating negative emotions is not good for one's physical and mental well-being. As for the latter, such individuals may have extreme minds and not know how to process negative emotions. They only rely on emotions to solve problems. In times of negative emotions, any slight lack of control can often result in serious mistakes and cause more harm than benefit. Having negative emotions and then hating others and seeking revenge in this situation is a sign of immaturity. It is important not to overly attribute one's own mistakes to oneself or bear the burden of negative emotions excessively. Instead, one should learn to reduce stress. Therefore, sometimes patience is also a form of tolerance. Life is not always perfect, and when negative emotions arise, one should consider the reasons behind them and avoid taking drastic actions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the issue you raised may be relatively \"abstract,\" with less specific events and details described, so it is also unclear what contradiction or negative emotions are being generated. The occurrence of emotions resulting from the \"conflict with others\" can be seen as a \"neutral\" process itself. The \"difference\" you mentioned may depend on different perceptions of this matter, which in turn triggers different behaviors, leading to different outcomes. For example, if the \"conflict with others\" is seen as a \"conflict caused by people,\" one may develop hatred towards others, seek revenge, and escalate the contradiction. On the other hand, if the \"conflict with others\" is seen as a \"conflict caused by the situation,\" both parties may calm down under emotionally intense circumstances, take a walk, relax, focus on what they can do, and then consider how to resolve the issue or try to turn negative situations into positive outcomes or minimize the damage... This difference lies in the \"difference in perception\" and \"difference in behavioral response,\" which leads to the \"difference in the final outcome.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3392
       },
       {
        "question": "How to treat cold violence when the husband refuses to communicate during every argument?",
        "description": "After marriage, my husband is very stingy. Every time we argue, he resorts to cold violence and refuses to communicate. He also has a quick temper, getting angry easily when someone talks to him. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Wow, you are literally describing my husband. Refusing to communicate and using cold violence has been the norm for every conflict in our marriage. I consider myself a patient person, but he is even more patient when it comes to cold violence. Not only does he refuse to communicate, but after every argument, he tries to let it go without any clear discussion or resolution. He pretends like it never happened, but I really don't like it. My husband naturally dislikes communication, which is a result of his upbringing. I can't completely change him, so I'll give you my current approach in the hope that it can help you. I don't have a better solution at the moment. 1. Choose a suitable time, such as after a period of cold violence has passed and your relationship has improved, to talk to him about what happened last time and have a conversation. Regardless of the obstacle, it needs to be communicated. 2. Understand his history of growth. I don't know if you live with your parents-in-law, but everyone's personality is shaped for a reason and has a history. Even if it is irritable, it is not innate. By understanding his history of growth, you can find these reasons and help you find a better point to communicate with him and get him to open up. For example, my husband's refusal to communicate is because his family had a one-word rule, where whatever the parents said was final. Making demands or expressing other opinions would result in worse outcomes. Therefore, he doesn't like to communicate and is not accustomed to it. 3. Listen as much as possible and encourage him to speak and have deep conversations. Over time, he will start to enjoy confiding in you. 4. Adapt to his habits to a certain extent. After being married for a certain number of years, you should have enough understanding of each other. So, for many avoidable arguments or minor matters, it's okay to turn a blind eye. I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12267
       },
       {
        "question": "My family is harmonious, and I don't have any emotional baggage, but I have been diagnosed with moderate depression. I don't feel like living anymore.",
        "description": "There are no emotional issues, my family is very harmonious, my parents don't quarrel, and my younger brother is very well-behaved and sensible. There's no blockage in my mind. I went to the hospital for psychological counseling for moderate depression and was prescribed medication. I have been taking them, and my mom says it seems to be helpful based on my behavior, but I still can't control self-harm. I want to take all the nitrazepam and ordered euthanasia pills online, thinking of taking them. Now I have thoughts of self-harm and suicide. The doctor said to come for a follow-up examination in two weeks during the check-up, but I feel it's useless. I don't want to continue living anymore.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from reading your question carefully, I understand that you have been diagnosed with depression by the hospital. However, from your description, it seems that there are no problems related to emotions or family relationships. But you seem to still have thoughts of self-harm or even suicide, that urge to destroy yourself. Since the external environment is good, what are these hidden desires to destroy yourself expressing? Because there is not much information in your question, here I will provide you with a few perspectives to explore, hoping it can help you find the root of your inner self. [Tracing the family, whether there is a hereditary trait of depression] You can try to understand your family history, which includes not only the immediate three generations, but even further extended relatives, whether there are similar cases of severe depression. At the same time, also understand that within the family, there may be some serious internal conflicts and contradictions. Understanding the above information will help you determine whether your depression comes from genetic traits. Do you have a tendency towards depression? You can even explore whether your current impulsive desire to \"destroy oneself\" is related to some hidden major events in the family? These perspectives may help you identify some underlying causes and help you discover the inner drive behind these desires to destroy oneself. [In-depth exploration, whether there are past traumas \"forgotten\" by yourself] Although in your question, there is no obvious traumatic experience mentioned, but it is possible that you consciously believe so, while deep down in your heart, there might be a traumatic experience that you deliberately \"forgot\". The human brain protects itself by automatically forgetting and blocking those past traumas. Although you may not remember the events themselves, they still have a deep impact, and those emotional experiences will keep replaying. Therefore, with the help of psychological techniques, you can explore past experiences and find those scars hidden beneath the dusty memories. Let yourself explore and understand what emotions those desires to \"destroy oneself\" are trying to express, and embrace the self with numerous scars. [Learn to release outwardly, express the energy that attacks oneself] Since you have the courage to destroy yourself, why not channel that energy outward? You should know that depression is most likely the accumulation of negative energy in your inner self, and you have been using this energy as a weapon to attack yourself. \"I dare not express these emotions outwardly, so I can only attack myself.\" This is the subconscious signal language you use. Instead of being a good girl for too long, why not indulge yourself once in a while and release all these emotions, those desires to cry, curse, or even hit something? Pour them out, empty out the dirt in your heart. Your heart is like a cup, when it is filled with this \"dirty water\", no matter how much comfort and healing \"clean water\" is poured in, it will still be contaminated. Therefore, brave expression and getting rid of this \"dirty water\" is the first real step towards change. Of course, all the above suggestions need to be done with the help of a professional clinical psychologist. I hope you can embrace the sunlight as soon as possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I feel sorry for you. First, I want to give you a warm hug. Depression has become a very common disease now, and the whole society attaches great importance to it. There are also many medications available for treating depression. It was correct for you to go to the hospital for diagnosis and cooperate with the doctor in taking medication, which is very helpful for you! Generally speaking, the antidepressant medications usually take two to four weeks to take effect. Due to individual differences and the severity of the condition, this period of time for the medication to take effect and for symptoms to improve is a process that requires perseverance. From your description, perhaps you haven't had the chance to feel it yourself, but your mother has already noticed the improvement after you started taking medication. This is the reason why you must continue and not give up! You need to tell yourself that my emotions are currently ill, and I may feel despair and have thoughts of death, but that's only because my emotions are sick. I want to die, but I can't. I cannot be completely controlled by these emotions caused by the illness.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader. Sending you a virtual hug through the screen. From your description, it seems like you come from a good family background, which makes you luckier than many others. What could be causing your depression? I heard from a expert that in this fast-paced era, almost everyone experiences some level of depression and anxiety, they just haven't been diagnosed. Negative emotions drain our energy, so in order to relax, we need to stop feeling anxious, sad, or angry. Accepting our own state and accepting the way things are around us and in the world is the key, but depression sufferers usually find it hard to do so. I suggest that you try to minimize the time you spend alone and communicate more with your parents and friends. Voice out all of your emotions, both positive and negative. Engage in activities that you enjoy and connect with nature. This can help relax your body and mind. Exercise is also a good method. When you have negative thoughts, engage in intense exercise. It can make you forget all your troubles and give you a feeling of rebirth while working up a sweat. Exercise can also generate dopamine, which improves your mood. If you really don't feel like doing anything, just stay calm and watch some TV shows or movies, or have a snack. Give yourself some time and space, but don't remain stagnant for too long. After a while, you should start thinking about your next steps. Some things can be helped by others, but some things can only be overcome by ourselves. If you enjoy reading, I recommend reading some positive books. Some people say books can cure everything. Many depression sufferers have been cured by reading. If you're taking medication, make sure to follow the doctor's instructions and don't flush any unnecessary medication down the toilet. In this process, don't rush for immediate results. It will take time, but believe that everything will get better. In the most ordinary days, I'll accompany you with warmth to see the world. Wenyi.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug little cutie, let's start with a simple self-introduction. Those who know me well call me Xiaofan Guo, but I like to refer to myself as a warm-hearted little chubby. Many people often tell us not to care too much about others' opinions, but how many people can truly do so? When I first started high school, I had a baby face and was less than 5 feet tall, so my height was my biggest insecurity. I minded it a lot when people called me shorty, little kid, etc. But often, the more we care, the more people seem to do or say things. In high school, I always heard others calling me that way, so many times I would hide in a corner, not wanting to interact with them. Perhaps fate was playing a joke on me, after the second year of high school, I suddenly grew taller and gained some confidence. I also started to slowly learn to accept myself. During the process of acceptance, I realized that sometimes I had fallen into misconceptions. Other people's opinions are only what they see, but they don't know what I have experienced in the past or what will happen in the future. If I live in the eyes of others every day, I may not be able to survive. Self-deprecating is just a hint to ourselves to not care so much about others' opinions, but it doesn't mean we give up on ourselves because we still have many people who love us and grow with us. Hurting ourselves may bring temporary psychological comfort, but it doesn't fundamentally solve the problem. Pursuing beauty is a common desire for many people, but not everyone can meet society's beauty standards, so we need to have our own criteria, as long as we approve of ourselves. I wonder if the OP feels a little better after expressing their feelings. If possible, we can explore other ways to relieve stress. This place will be your sanctuary for the soul. Can we grow together? The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can feel the OP's inner depression, anger, anxiety, and fear. The OP's issue is quite interesting. They feel like they don't have any emotional knots, yet they can't control their self-harm and even have thoughts of suicide. Their visit to the hospital's mental counseling center revealed moderate depression, indicating that there are some underlying issues in the OP's subconscious that they haven't consciously acknowledged. These problems may be causing immense pressure, making it difficult for the conscious self to face, understand, and endure. As a result, they choose to \"isolate\" and \"ignore\" to protect themselves and avoid facing these pressures, which brings a sense of relief and ease. For individuals with depression, it serves as both self-expression and self-preservation. Using low mood, reduced verbal activities, or self-harm is a way to express the inner repression, anxiety, fear, powerlessness, and the desire to gain attention, understanding, acceptance, and love from those around them. At the same time, it avoids contact and communication with others to prevent the risk of being ridiculed or hurt, allowing them to freely live in their own space. On one hand, they want others to understand them, while on the other hand, they are preventing themselves from being understood. These two conflicting forces constantly struggle and fight within the self, leading to continuous vacillation between their thoughts, similar to two people fighting, sometimes one gaining the upper hand, sometimes the other, not knowing how to proceed. The OP mentioned not wanting to continue living. Does the OP really no longer want to live, or do they simply not want to continue living in such a repressed, painful, and uncomfortable state? For many individuals with depression, suicide is just a means to escape the pain, not necessarily an actual desire to die. It's their conscious self unable to bear the emotional and psychological pressures from the unconscious self, wanting to kill the extremely weak, helpless self, and allow the conscious self to live a carefree, natural, and pleasant life. The fact that the OP believes they don't have any emotional knots, yet engage in self-harm and contemplate suicide, clearly indicates conflicting symptoms and highlights the extreme vulnerability and helplessness of their subconscious self.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Hugs to you, the world is colorful, let's share together! I am very eager to chat with you, as if we are meeting face to face. You mentioned that your depression is not caused by family reasons and there are no emotional barriers. This means that you have a clear understanding that this is a disease and you have rational acceptance of this problem. This is good. Although you still have thoughts of despair and self-harm, you have not closed yourself off and have come here to find us. Dear questioner, since you accept the fact that depression needs treatment, why not be more courageous and follow the advice of doctors and counselors to gradually enter a positive cycle? You can feel your pain, but if you really want to get better, you must rely on the strength of doctors, family, and friends to help you come out and fundamentally accept treatment and the progress it brings. With the deepening of treatment, I believe you can start to completely control your will and move towards deeper recovery. Firstly, I hope you can avoid taking excessive medication. Taking too much medication can make you feel unconscious and have difficulty breathing, causing you to feel drowsy. This will make your state worse and unable to take interest in other things in life, only intensifying the pain caused by depression. Secondly, you can think about what prompted you to seek help here, you want to understand why depression is troubling you, how it is troubling you, and hope to relieve or even eliminate it. Maybe you haven't realized it yourself, but this shows that you have not completely fallen into despair because of depression. You are interested in life, but negative emotions have taken over. Dear questioner, everyone must go through a good experience in this world. You are not worthless. You are the son/daughter of your parents, the brother/sister of your siblings, the student of your teacher, the companion of your friends, and your own god! In the future, you will also be a wife/husband, a father/mother of a girl or boy. You are the unique you that I know! Lastly, for someone as unique as you, someone who wants to get better, we all don't want to miss out. Also, I hope some suggestions can help you: 1. Observe the cycle of negative emotions caused by your depression, be your own doctor, record it, actively communicate with professional doctors and counselors, and adopt an attitude of fighting against depression. Avoid excessive medication, follow medical advice, depression is not scary, what is scary is avoiding it. You have already bravely accepted the fact that you have depression, why not be even more mighty and overcome it! Maybe you think I can't fully understand your pain, but this is how I solve my own difficulties, I believe you can do it too. 2. Understand the cycle of negative emotions you experience, try to be with family and friends as much as possible, mobilize everyone's strength to fight against depression together. When a person is in an open environment, their mood will also become brighter, which is conducive to self-regulation of emotions. 3. Painting, Sudoku games, and regular exercise in moderation can help alleviate depression, nurture one's sentiments, stabilize emotions, and create a sense of well-being. It can even become a profession. Finally, when negative emotions are very severe, always be brave and actively respond psychologically. Seek help from loved ones and friends. Sometimes depression may make you unable to control your true thoughts, but with each improvement, you will definitely make progress. I hope you are happy and joyful every day. The world and I love you. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, first of all, a big hug for you~ The main issue you are currently facing is being diagnosed with severe depression and having thoughts of not wanting to live~ Depression~ Self-harm. You emphasize that you don't have any relationship problems and that your family is harmonious, with your parents not arguing and your younger brother being well-behaved. On the surface, your life seems to be going well and beautiful, so could the desire to self-harm or commit suicide be related to the emotional feeling of \"being ignored\" in the past? Generally speaking, when there are more than two children in a family, the eldest child may feel resentful because the younger siblings have arrived, believing that they have taken away the parents' love or hindered their own display. Even if they are well-behaved, they may still have varying degrees of negative emotions like this. OP, you went to the hospital for psychological counseling and were diagnosed with moderate depression. Medication was prescribed, but you still can't control the self-harming behavior. You want to take all the Nitrazepam pills and ordered euthanasia pills online. You have thoughts of self-harm and suicide now. The doctor said to come back for a follow-up in two weeks, but OP feels that it's useless and doesn't want to continue living. Since your upbringing environment is not bad, is there a fear of 'social' interaction or a reluctance to seek cooperation with others? If so, when did it start? Given your current situation, Nuan Nuan suggests that you avoid being alone and communicate more with your parents or friends. Try to do things you enjoy, and if you don't feel like doing anything, try your best to avoid doing things you don't like. Gradually find your interests and seek cooperation with others in the process. Also, Nuan Nuan hopes that you can actively cooperate with professional doctors' treatment and strive to recover as soon as possible, rediscovering the sunshine in life. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7013
       },
       {
        "question": "I really want to get out of this relationship, but I am too deeply involved. What should I do?",
        "description": "This year, at the age of 39, I have an unfortunate marriage. After experiencing my husband's numerous affairs and domestic violence, my love for him has turned to ashes. In early May, I unexpectedly met a man in his 20s who is 9 years younger than me. We had a physical relationship on our first meeting. Actually, we didn't initially plan to continue dating, but later we developed feelings for each other and gradually fell in love. He didn't make any unrealistic promises to me, he just told me that he never wants to hurt me and will not hurt me. He is a Scorpio man who is not good at expressing emotions, and he is clear about the difference between liking and loving someone. He wouldn't say \"I love you\" against his will just because I'm unhappy. Finally, on May 20th at 13:14, he confessed his love to me. To be honest, I was touched, because we are in a long-distance relationship and have few opportunities to be together. Because I missed him, I traveled far to meet him in Shanghai, Yichang, and Huanggang. Due to his work, he often goes on business trips. In my heart, I truly hope that one day he will come to my city just to see me, but due to the nature of his work, this is unlikely. However, every time he returns to his home in Beijing, he still keeps in touch with me and cares about my mood through the posts I share on social media. (To be continued)",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, infidelity.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Big sister, are you feeling conflicted and distressed? The same situation can lead different people to make different choices. You can ask yourself: 1. Do you need to divorce your current husband? 2. Do you want to continue being with this man in his 90s? 3. Does this man in his 90s want to continue being with you? You mentioned that your husband had an affair and was abusive, which likely made you feel trapped. His appearance and your encounter allowed you to experience long-lost love and care. But now you want to escape. Ask yourself why exactly? If he has a family and you had this kind of experience, what do you think about the relationship between the two of you? If you truly want to move on from this relationship, there are two options: 1. Take it further, if you both genuinely love each other, try to overcome the difficulties in life and openly walk together. 2. Step back, first handle your original relationship well, and it's best if you don't contact or see each other anymore. The most painful thing is to complicate all relationships and simultaneously enjoy and suffer.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, you are already 39 years old, not 19, so why are you still so innocent and naive? If he really likes you, how could it be that you have to go the distance to see him, instead of him coming to see you? This can only mean one thing! It means that you haven't reached that level of importance in his heart. Imagine if you were his wife, or the woman he intended to marry, would he treat you like this? How many women can tolerate him like this?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18547
       },
       {
        "question": "After being discharged from the military, S's desires have become stronger and harder to control, causing a lot of frustration. What should they do?",
        "description": "After first encountering SM, I discovered that I had a tendency in that area. Later on, I even took assessments and confirmed that I am an S. Now, I am gradually losing control over my thoughts, with many strange ideas, and sometimes I feel a bit bothered.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, violence, control, sexual desire.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Has there been any abusive behavior? Have you ever laid hands on your loved ones, family members, or animals? Having a tendency towards violence is a manifestation of losing control of one's emotions and projecting inner insecurities and repression. Perhaps life after leaving the military is not as good as expected. If your situation is not severe, you can calm down and reflect on the reasons for the problem. The behavior patterns of seeking immediate pleasure do not solve the root of the problem.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4268
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel a little awkward with the behavior of students who are ten years younger than me.",
        "description": "The student is ten years younger than me and has been following me for a long time. I have been teaching him wholeheartedly for a long time. Recently, because of his poor performance, I have educated him twice and sincerely shared some wisdom with him. In the past month or two, this child often intentionally or unintentionally pinches my hand, grabs my shoulder or waist. Sometimes, when I'm tired from wearing high heels, he would say to let me rest my legs on his lap to reduce swelling. He has also joked half-seriously several times about carrying me, which makes me feel a little awkward. Am I overthinking or is it really inappropriate?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, deception and trust, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, I can sense your feelings. On one hand, you feel angry about the students' frivolous behavior, but at the same time, you are afraid that you may be overthinking and feel conflicted. First, let's analyze the students' behavior based on your description. I think your students are probably high school students or above. \"Pinching hands,\" \"grabbing shoulders and waist,\" and their casual language. Regardless of age, these actions should not be done to girls of the same age, let alone a teacher of the opposite sex. On one hand, the students may genuinely appreciate and admire you, which is why they want to care for you. But on the other hand, these inappropriate words and actions also imply a romantic connotation, indicating that they may have a crush on you. Now, I will share my suggestions. Firmly refuse and maintain distance. Some of these actions may be difficult to determine whether the students do them intentionally or not. However, when students say inappropriate things, you can firmly ask them not to say such things to you, as it shows a lack of respect. Focus more on other students. Based on your description, it seems that the students started behaving this way after multiple times of your guidance. It is likely that the student believes he has a special connection with you. Therefore, it would be better to divert your attention to other students, so that they don't have such thoughts. I hope these suggestions are helpful to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I personally think that this kind of interaction between teachers and students is somewhat inappropriate, but I would like to know the age range of the student. If the student is younger, he may see you as a confidant or even family member, and his actions may be unconscious. He may just hope to help you as you have helped him and be grateful to you. However, nowadays children tend to mature earlier, especially for older age groups like high school students, there is a possibility that some emotions are involved, but this is simply because he feels someone is being kind to him. You don't need to feel burdened, after all, what you are doing is within your responsibility. I suggest maintaining an appropriate distance from him or stopping him the next time he makes such jokes, and make it clear to him that you don't like this kind of joking attitude. After all, there should be a certain level of respect between teachers and students. If necessary, you can have a talk with him and express your opinion. I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, I feel that your student has indeed crossed the line a bit, and there should not be any physical contact between teachers and students. Perhaps it is because you have been too kind to him as a teacher, being a good teacher, which leads to his dependency and liking towards you. This liking may be purely liking the teacher, or it may be the restlessness of adolescence. But no matter what, if you feel very bothered by it, you need to address his thoughts. 1. You can tell him each time he has physical contact with you that you don't like it, clearly refuse it, with a serious expression and a firm tone that doesn't allow for any argument, making him understand that you are not joking. 2. Try to reduce the time you spend alone with him, being alone with the opposite sex can affect one's emotions, this is called the proximity effect. Perhaps spending too much time alone with him has led to some misunderstandings, so you should try to reduce the time spent alone. 3. If your student is still an adolescent and continues to show affection between a man and a woman towards you, you should clearly tell him that such thoughts are beautiful, but they should not be the most important thing at this age. Thank him for his love, but the most important thing for him now is studying and improving, so that he can achieve what he wants in the future. If your student is an adult and there is a ten-year age difference between you that you cannot accept, it is best to keep your distance and only discuss academics, avoiding other topics too much. He will gradually understand your intentions. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm giving you a warm hug and sincerely teaching him, and he has been performing well. There was a period of time when he didn't behave well, but I talked to him openly and honestly. From here, you can see that your relationship is still very good. You have always had a pure teacher-student relationship with him, and you have been very dedicated to him as well. Your efforts are felt by the child, so the child is willing to have a good relationship with you and listen to you. Recently, the student will unintentionally touch his own shoulder, waist, and legs. When he is tired, he will even help himself relieve the swelling. He jokes that he wants to carry himself. Because of your efforts, the child can feel it, so the child is also very understanding towards you. However, considering the child's current stage of adolescence, it is normal to have other thoughts about you. As someone who has gone through adolescence, I can understand. If we, as teachers, provide correct guidance, then he will gradually establish a better position for this relationship. So, what matters most is not how he currently thinks, but the correct guidance we provide. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13853
       },
       {
        "question": "Like to save money but lack strong desire to make money? How to have a correct attitude towards money?",
        "description": "I really like saving money, and I feel anxious when my money decreases. However, I don't have a strong sense of purpose when it comes to making money, and I don't enjoy doing sales. How can I develop a healthy attitude towards money?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, Hello! You mentioned that you like to save money, but when it comes to making money, you lack a strong sense of purpose and dislike sales. How should we view money correctly? This is a really great question because everyone relies on money. I would like to share my understanding with you. Firstly, it's important to clarify that money itself is neither good nor bad. \"Money is a good servant, but a bad master.\" I used to dislike the idea of making money and thought that as long as I had enough for daily expenses, money wasn't important. It was only after listening to a lecture by Mr. Huang Qituan about money that I realized that subconsciously, I had a negative view of money. I always thought that people with a lot of money were too focused on personal gain, lacked empathy, and were unhappy. These were all one-sided beliefs, so I never paid much attention to money matters. Once I became aware of the hidden beliefs in my subconscious, I started to repair my relationship with money. Money truly has no inherent value or qualities, and earning money is not the ultimate goal. Money can help us enjoy life more fully. It is merely a tool that serves us. People who earn money seriously are admirable and can help us accomplish many desires, such as showing filial piety to our parents, providing better material conditions for our children, or helping those in need. Now, let's briefly discuss saving money. Saving money provides us with a certain sense of security to deal with unexpected events in the future, such as illness, child education, or retirement, and it's perfectly normal to enjoy saving money. But there's no need to worry excessively about having little money because we should believe that we can earn money. Mr. Huang Qituan also said that psychological factors have a significant impact on earning money. We should enhance our sense of deservingness and believe that earning money can be easy and joyful. Earning money and putting in effort do not necessarily have a direct correlation. We need to let money flow and be bold in earning it. I used to fear losing myself in front of money because I had never received financial education. Being able to enjoy life while earning money is the true way to become a winner. I used to only know how to make money but not how to enjoy it, and my inner self felt deprived. However, after reading Mr. Huang's book, I felt enlightened. I will make money and gradually increase my own value. Wealth not only flows but is also limitless. You mentioned that you don't like sales, and I wonder what thoughts you have in your heart about this. It is easier to earn money by doing something you enjoy and are good at. I recommend the book \"Rich Dad's Guide to Investing\" and wish you much wealth and a life that you desire!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, are you the one who earned a lot of money:)? When you are in need of money, your desire for money will be strong. If you have saved a lot of money, then you can increase your level of consumption. When you feel that this amount of money is still not enough, your desire will come back. Generally, you can consider the following points for money: 1. Whether your savings are sufficient to bring you a sense of security. There is a saying that you should have enough money in your account to sustain your life for half a year. 2. It is a waste to leave extra money in the account, whether you invest it in yourself or in assets. 3. Balance points 1 and 2.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1164
       },
       {
        "question": "Want to go to bed early, why do I feel inexplicably annoyed or excited at night?",
        "description": "I want to go to bed and wake up early, but every night I either feel inexplicably annoyed or inexplicably excited. Sometimes I feel very tired in the morning. Why is it like this? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear OP, you used the term \"m\u00f3 m\u00edng\" twice. May I ask if it refers to the unclear source of these emotions, or not knowing what exactly is causing the annoyance or excitement? Your conscious mind is well aware of the importance of getting enough sleep and waking up early, but your subconscious is hindering you from doing so. What message is your subconscious trying to convey? Your post conveys a strong message: I want to understand myself, to explore myself! When a person has the desire to explore themselves, they have the possibility to make changes. However, it may require seeking counseling. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. However, in the evenings, you tend to have some emotional fluctuations that affect your normal rest and, consequently, have an impact on your daily life. I can sense that you want to change your mood. Have you recently experienced anything that made you feel agitated or excited in the evenings? Could you try brainstorming and using divergent thinking to record as many possible solutions as you can, and then slowly select the most feasible ones to implement? Before going to bed, you can try meditation to gradually calm yourself down. There are many related audio resources available online. These are my suggestions, and I hope they can help you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17062
       },
       {
        "question": "Is my reaction normal when my ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend?",
        "description": "Ex-boyfriend, seven years in a relationship. It has been one year since the breakup. When I heard that he has a new girlfriend, I started to have persistent insomnia, feeling nauseous when eating, feeling weak all over, slow in reaction, as if my mind is imprisoned and unable to coordinate with my body. Do I love him, to what extent? If I love him, why haven't I firmly chosen to stick with him during the three breakups in these seven years, without making a definite choice for him? I do not believe that I do not love him.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I have been intermittently with my ex-boyfriend for seven years. During these seven years, it's not just a matter of time coming and going, but also the daily and nightly memories, the ups and downs of emotions, and of course, our continuous understanding and reflection of each other. These scattered fragments unconsciously piece together the emotional picture and spiritual world between you and him. As one of the listeners, what can I provide for you? This is the dilemma we both need to face at this moment, just like you chose to post your question here for us to see. Like the bettors who come and go in the lottery store, whether we will win five million or five hundred yuan, or just make a contribution, none of us knows. However, there is a hidden path in all of this - we have all walked into the lottery store and bought a ticket. The future has already completed a certain fixed match, and we have completed our workflow. All that is left is the waiting process for the draw and whether it matches our previous efforts to some extent. Can I use the trauma caused by the separation of a child from their mother to explain this beautiful and blooming self-acknowledgment? Whether it is a child or a \"lost\" adult, what will instantly heal that \"wanderer\"? I think the arrival of the mother or her return can instantly soothe the trauma caused by years of separation and heal the child or adult. (In fact, we don't even need imagination to understand this. It is one of our instincts.) Let's reverse from the next node to the previous node and see what happens. Can we continue to move forward without evading it like this? \"I don't think I don't love him...\" There have also been separations of varying lengths, and in the end, I chose to separate... In love, some people say, \"When you suspect whether I have feelings for someone, you probably already do...\" But this sentence, this phenomenon, how do you see it? Do you believe in such descriptions, or do you think it is factual? Conversely, if we reverse the beginning and the end of this sentence, does it still hold true? Would you allow such an interchange? It's like a kind of advertising slogan that only needs to replace the name of the city it is in, and it becomes valid. For example: livable city, charm (you can fill in any city name we desire). Does love also have a similar template-like formula? We will pause the discussion on this question for now and continue a little further. When you separated from him after being together for seven years and found out about his new emotional life, you experienced physical symptoms, such as vomiting, as you mentioned in the question. Here, it is necessary for us to clarify one question, which is where this problem comes from - is it a response from the body itself or is it a process of the mind affecting the body? Understanding the source of this problem may help us avoid going in circles and gradually accelerate our progress, heading north with determination and invincibility. In the days of having inner dialogues and coexisting with external forces, slowly reconcile with yourself, just like the changing of seasons, the renewal of all things, and embark on a new journey, a new life. This is just a little of what I can see at the moment, the rest, occasionally, you may need to walk alone, and occasionally, we may still walk together for a while.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, being together for seven years, this kind of relationship cannot be simply let go. In these seven years of being together, apart from deep emotions, there are also long-formed habits. You may have become accustomed to this person's presence and developed a routine with them. The emotions, habits, and little things that have occurred over the past seven years cannot be forgotten easily. So even after a year of breaking up, it is still difficult and tormenting. Maybe you still love him, or perhaps your passion for him has slowly diminished over the past seven years, and now only habits remain. When you broke up three times in the past, perhaps it was due to the environment you were in at the time and both of your emotional states were not normal. It is normal to suggest a breakup and not persist when negative emotions outweigh positive ones in problematic situations. Not persevering may mean that after a long period of being together, you realized that you are not very compatible, but this doesn't deny the fact that you still have feelings for him. Whether it is love or habit, you both have your own lives now. I hope that after the pain, you can focus on building your own fulfilling life. Try to spend less time thinking about him, perhaps engage in more social activities, and maybe you will meet more people and even encounter your Mr. Right. I wish you can truly let go of these seven years soon and I wish you a happy life of your own! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13933
       },
       {
        "question": "My sister has a conflict with our family and she came to me to talk about it. How can I help her?",
        "description": "I have a sister who is only 26 years old. Maybe she went back to our hometown to work. Our parents think she is getting old and they are extremely worried. They always bring up the topic of why she doesn't have a boyfriend or why she hasn't found a partner yet. My sister feels a lot of pressure every day and doesn't even want to go home on weekends. She currently has a car, a house, and a stable income in Leshan. She has her own hobbies and friends she can confide in. Maybe she occasionally feels lonely, but she never sees herself as pitiful. However, people around her always look at her with a pitiful gaze and constantly backbite about her in front of her parents. Her relationship with our parents has become confrontational right after they meet, and she also rejects meeting them. She even feels that life is too exhausting. She wants to tell our parents that she is fine and they don't need to worry, but every time it ends up in an argument. My sister asked me how she should communicate with our parents, but I haven't experienced these things yet so I don't know what to do. How can I comfort her?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There are significant differences in mindset and priorities between the older generation and our younger generation. The older generation's starting point is to hope that their children can have a stable and happy life with a family. In their mindset, getting married and having children early is the key to a stable and happy life. Your sister, as a young person, has her own career and life, her own aspirations, and her own views on marriage, which naturally differ from those of the older generation. It is common for the two generations to experience differences and conflicts, and it is difficult to reconcile them immediately. Therefore, both sides should start from their own perspectives. If they approach the conversation with the intention of persuading or refuting the other person, or trying to change their perspective, it will inevitably lead to arguments, conflicts, and ultimately, no one can convince the other. However, from both sides' standpoint, they both want their children to have a better life. It's just that the definition of \"better\" is different for the older generation and the younger generation. Therefore, both sides should not have an antagonistic identity and state, but should seek mutual understanding, accommodate differences, find consensus in the midst of disagreements, and adapt to each other's personality and psychological state for coordination. Firstly, let go of the intention to refute and persuade the other person's thoughts because this kind of argument leads to no results and it is difficult to have a positive outcome. As children, on the basis of understanding the good intentions of the older generation, it would be worthwhile to take a step back and show good manners and language that harmonize with the older generation's intentions. In simple terms, the older generation is like children; sometimes they also need to be \"pacified.\" Because, at this time, the older generation is not trying to immediately make the child take action or get married and have children, it is just a habitual behavior to nag a few words when they see their child, expressing their worries and concerns. At the same time, they may feel a bit embarrassed due to idle gossip, so they unconsciously shift the conflict and hope to save face. As children, we can understand the behavior of our parents. At this time, there is no need to aggressively refute or argue face-to-face. Instead, you should learn to make appropriate concessions and show vulnerability in front of your parents, expressing an attitude of accepting their opinions, and also expressing that you accept their concern. This kind of empathy can give parents a sense of comfort. Then, you can shift the topic appropriately, and maybe they will forget to continue nagging. For example, you can respond, \"I understand that Mom, you care about me and hope I can marry a good man, right? So, I am also carefully selecting, hoping to find a good man to marry and not make you worry too much. What dishes are we having tonight? Do you need my help in cooking?\" In interpersonal communication, including communication between relatives, some skills need to be taken into account. When there is a conflict between the two sides, both parties' emotions are in a stress state, making it difficult to think calmly and rationally. If a tough attitude and language are adopted, it is not conducive to resolving conflicts. At this time, only by calming emotions first and then solving the problem can be achieved. Try to consider each other's thoughts from their perspective, find common ground that both sides can agree on, in order to persuade with care, take care of the other person's emotions, and appropriately make concessions. This can resolve conflicts and make the contradiction cease to be a contradiction. In addition to using communication skills, it would also be helpful to show more initiative in caring for parents, actively communicating, and actively showing parents the happy and fulfilling aspects of your life. This way, parents can understand you better and not be affected by idle gossip, thinking that their child is not doing well and worrying unnecessarily. Ultimately, parents worry because they care about their children, which leads to various thoughts and interference in their lives. I believe your sister is an understanding person who can understand her parents' intentions and thoughts and can communicate and get along well with them. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm not sure about the relationship between the original poster (OP) and their parents. If their relationship with their parents is better than their sister's, then perhaps the sister's goal is to seek enlightenment. If their relationship with their parents is similar to their sister's, then the sister's goal is simply to express herself and seek comfort. Of course, this comparison should be based on the sister's perception. Therefore, it is recommended to offer comfort first and then analyze the situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18184
       },
       {
        "question": "I just found out that my mom is having an affair, what should I do?",
        "description": "Mom had an affair. I discovered it at home last month. She is in her thirties. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and communication between parents",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems like you are a girl. True love, in essence, is a combination of wisdom and sentiment, while love and hatred in life are merely the result of the protagonist's lack of cultivation. Love, as spoken of, has no comparative degree and there is no \"love more\". Because love is already the highest level. With love, all problems are not difficult and there is no feeling of being wronged. Feeling wronged and feeling burdened, that is not love, but only an exchange. I have always believed that whether I love you or not is my own business, and whether you love me or not is your own. I don't love you because you love me, and it doesn't affect my love for you if you don't love me. Love is just a fill-in-the-blank question. There is no exchange or choice. Look to see if mom has the strength to come out.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11168
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel mentally stuck, as if there is a big knot inside me. What should I do?",
        "description": "A dormitory, my roommate in the same class and I often go to class together, but she has a really good relationship with my other roommate. I remember one time, the three of us walked back to the dormitory together, I looked at my phone while walking to avoid awkwardness, and they walked together. At that time, my roommate and I walked in front, but later they walked together behind us. Later, when we left the dormitory, I was behind, and they walked and chatted without looking back, making me feel really awkward. During evening study, I was originally going to sit with that classmate I play with, but I arrived at the classroom first. Then my roommate encountered her close roommate and they ended up being in the same classroom. When I came back with water, that classmate told me that they walked in front of me. I actually felt really disappointed, like there was a big lump in my heart. You see, when I walk with my other close roommate and that classmate, I always consider her feelings, but in the end... how should I view this situation?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates and classmates",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! First, I want to give you a warm hug. I completely understand how you feel. It's normal to feel upset when your close friend spends more time with another friend and leaves you behind. Firstly, I hope you can be clear about one thing: in your friend's mind, who is more important to them, you or the other roommate. It's possible that they have more in common or they assume you're busy and don't want to bother you. We can't demand how others treat us, so it's important to learn to enjoy solitude. Additionally, if you're still feeling uncomfortable, you can sit down and talk with the two roommates, telling them how their behavior of excluding you makes you feel really uncomfortable, and express your hope that in the future they can wait for you and do things together. I hope you can resolve the conflict soon. Wishing you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2599
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there nothing to talk about if we don't discuss relationship issues? Should I break up with him or not?",
        "description": "We have actually been dating for over a month, but it seems like if we don't talk about some issues regarding relationships, he doesn't have much to say to me. And he says that it affects his mood. I am feeling quite unhappy... Should we break up?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, security, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! On the journey of love, you have discovered some thought-provoking questions, and I commend your wisdom! After about a month of getting to know each other, both parties may still only have surface-level understanding. From your description, it seems that you don't know what topics to talk to him about, and can only discuss the topics that he deems important. Being in a relationship means discussing each other's views on life, values, and worldviews, and talking about each other's ideals and beliefs. People tend to associate with those who share similar views and values. Only when your perspectives align can you become like-minded individuals! Only then can you become true friends and potential life partners in the future! After a month of being together, you are still in the stage of getting to know each other, and it can't be said whether you are boyfriend and girlfriend yet, as the relationship hasn't reached that level of commitment. Time reveals one's true nature, so gradually deepen your understanding of each other and evaluate whether the other person meets your standards and expectations based on your values. Then decide whether to continue developing your friendship into a romantic relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20224
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do some people feel the urge to harm animals when they see them?",
        "description": "As soon as I see the ducklings, chicks, and kittens, I want to squeeze them to death and abuse them to the point of death.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, violence, stress, hypochondria.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the host. I have also had such behaviors and confusion before. I would like to share my thoughts and hopefully provide you with some inspiration. When I was in elementary school, I raised two small turtles. I had thoughts of killing one of them and even applied force to pinch its shell, but I was afraid of the bloody scene so I controlled the intensity. At that time, I felt so cruel and perverted. I think these thoughts of wanting to harm small animals must also have been troubling for you, right? My situation at the time was that I was an only child, my father was fully devoted to work, and my mother had a strong desire for control and had fluctuating emotions. I felt that the atmosphere at home was very oppressive and my mind seemed to be filled with negative emotions. But I had nowhere to vent or confide, so I took it out on the small turtles that were unable to resist and were weaker than me. I don't know what has happened in your life, but you can consider if you have encountered a similar situation: accumulating a lot of negative emotions in your heart, but not being allowed to express or see them, and lacking outlets for release, so you would only take it out on small animals who are even weaker than you. This is the reason I saw from my own behavior at that time, and I hope it can give you some inspiration and help you understand your own thoughts. My small suggestion is: thoughts do not equal actions. I may want to do it, but I can choose not to do it. I suggest that the host can focus more on \"what has happened to make me have such thoughts,\" pay attention to the emotional changes and physical reactions caused by the facts. We have all sorts of thoughts every day, so we don't need to be overly anxious about them. Secondly, find a suitable outlet for the accumulated emotions. You can try writing a diary, confiding in someone, painting, practicing yoga, listening to music, meditation, etc. There are many methods that can help us release emotions and calm our restless hearts. You can make decisions based on your preferences and actual situation.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           },
           {
            "start": 19,
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           },
           {
            "start": 36,
            "end": 117,
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           },
           {
            "start": 117,
            "end": 134,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 134,
            "end": 223,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 223,
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            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 337,
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           },
           {
            "start": 346,
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           },
           {
            "start": 364,
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           },
           {
            "start": 438,
            "end": 454,
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           },
           {
            "start": 454,
            "end": 521,
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the perspective of abnormal psychology/pathological psychology, it is possible that the person has been subjected to bullying, blame, and insults from others. They then project the harm they have suffered onto smaller and weaker creatures. Some of the reasons may be inherited from domestic violence. They may actually hope that the weak victims of domestic violence can resist (in their place) to alleviate their own feelings of cowardice. (Information is sourced from the internet, books, and my own summaries, which may not be accurate.) If a person is still easily angered even without experiencing these terrible things, they should go to the hospital for examination, possibly due to neurological issues. In other words, their brain may be different biologically. Recommendations: 1. Exercise restraint. It can become addictive. Gradually, they will become unsatisfied with their imagined and existing desires for stimulation, which will make them become the kind of person they originally dislike. 2. Seek help from someone you trust. 3. Keep going! Learning self-restraint will make you a better person. I hope this is helpful.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11350
       },
       {
        "question": "How to balance between raising a successful child and letting things take their course? How to control a child's education?",
        "description": "Is it more appropriate to expect one's child to achieve great success or to let things take their natural course?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, and child growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this is my feedback: (1) Firstly, every parent hopes for their child to achieve great success. However, we need to distinguish whether we want our children to become better individuals, fulfill our own desires, or to become receptacles of knowledge and machines for learning. What does it mean for a child to \"become a dragon\"? This is something that parents need to ponder over. (2) Secondly, learning to go with the flow does not mean letting things take their course blindly. We should respect our children's desires for growth but not indulge their unreasonable ideas. We can communicate with them frequently, but we should not neglect them. Apart from providing resources, love and companionship are even more important. (3) Lastly, there is no progress without rules. As early as the 19th century, Freud proposed that parents play different roles in the family. The mother needs to embody warmth, while the father needs to establish rules. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to have a reasonable division of labor and provide love and guidelines. #The world and I love you, take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14071
       },
       {
        "question": "Married into my husband's family for nearly 2 years, now their true colors are revealed, feeling mentally unbalanced, what should I do?",
        "description": "It has been nearly two years since I got married and moved into my in-laws' house. At first, they treated me quite well, but now their true colors are showing. They speak in a bad tone, are aggressive, and love to interfere in everything. Because I married into a lower social position, I feel really unfair and unhappy. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, son-in-law",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, give you a hug. I believe you must be feeling very upset now, feeling that your family is not treating you as well as before, so you feel very uncomfortable and unbalanced in your heart, and you are not happy. I remember hearing a saying before, that over time, we always save our worst temperament for those closest to us. I think they may also have this kind of thinking, that now that you're officially married, they have less concern for you. Or perhaps it's because you haven't been doing well in certain aspects, so they treat you like this. You can take a moment to reflect on yourself. See what you have done wrong, whether it is your own fault or others'. If you feel that it's not your fault, I suggest you find some time to communicate with your husband because he is the best medium between you and his family. I believe he will help you ease the relationship between you. Take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is evident that you feel frustrated and unable to resolve the problem with your mother-in-law. You are unsure of how to make yourself feel better. I empathize with you. Have you discussed this issue with your spouse? Have you talked to him about the difficulties his mother has caused you? In a family, the relationship between husband and wife should be a priority for happiness. You should share any unhappiness with your husband and let him be on the same page as you. Of course, you don't have to have a strained relationship with your mother-in-law, but you should consult each other when there are issues. If you feel that talking to her directly is useless or awkward, you can ask your spouse to act as an intermediary at an appropriate time to reach a consensus and set boundaries calmly. Clearly state what behavior you dislike and hope she will refrain from doing in the future. Don't think that you cannot stand up for yourself just because you married into the family. Since you are married, you are one family and you should value your position and love yourself. Don't sacrifice yourself! You are also a precious member of the family. Hugs to you! You mentioned that you have been unhappy since the second year of marriage. If you don't address this issue earlier, your mother-in-law might take further advantage, making your life even more difficult. Don't be afraid that she will hold a grudge after communication, after all, you haven't done anything wrong, you are just expressing your feelings and needs, so you don't need to be afraid. You can also seek advice from your family and friends, I believe they will all help you. Wishing you all the best and a happy life. \ud83e\udde1",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The relationship with the mother-in-law is something every woman needs to work on after getting married. As a wife, you may not be familiar with your husband's mother, so she has her own temperament and personality, while you have your own upbringing. Therefore, it is important to respect the elderly and their ways while also maintaining your own life, friends, and new hobbies. Instead of investing more energy into the relationship with the mother-in-law, if you find it difficult to get along with her, try to minimize contact and focus on doing things that you want to do and help yourself grow. By doing so, you can have a harmonious relationship with your mother-in-law.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5037
       },
       {
        "question": "28-year-old woman, recently, why do I always tend to blame myself?",
        "description": "Recently, I have been reconnecting with old friends and participating in a group activity. During the activity, I noticed that I was slower compared to others, and it was really frustrating. Every time, my good friend is always the first one to finish. I used to be able to fully engage and give it my all, but slowly, I started noticing that I was feeling emotional and inadequate.",
        "keywords": "Growth, improved personality, self-development, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there. As you mentioned, when participating in a group activity with old friends, you were initially able to fully engage yourself. However, because you were slower during the process and your good friend finished first, you gradually started experiencing emotional issues. So, when you became aware of your emotional problems, did you further examine the situation? For example, when your friend finished first and you were slower, how did you feel? Was it because you were holding the group back and that's why the emotional problems arose, or was it because you felt inferior to others? This can help you better understand the reasons behind your emotions. Considering your current situation, I suggest the following: 1. When you notice your emotions, first try to relieve yourself by shifting your attention or practicing breathing exercises, for example. 2. Adjust your perspective. We all gradually discover our own issues and then proceed to solve them through the process of interacting with others. So, you need to accept your shortcomings, identify your strengths, and make the most of them. 3. When encountering problems, if you tend to blame yourself, it's necessary to consider whether you highly value others' opinions of you and whether you constantly set high demands on yourself. This can also contribute to your emotional issues. I hope this can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Although the information you provided is brief, I can still see that you are a very reflective girl and I give you a big thumbs up. First of all, we need to have a purpose in everything we do. We play to have fun, work to earn money, without a purpose, we will lose direction. No matter if you participate in activities to socialize, prove your abilities, or for other reasons, you need to think clearly, what is my purpose? If you want to be the fastest, that's great, you can take first place as your standard. Even if others put in 10% of their effort, can you not keep up? Secondly, speed is a criterion, but the standard of ability is not just speed. Can you find anything in this world that only requires speed other than sports competitions? 1. If all your standards are excellent, but only speed is lacking, then it's great. You want to strive for excellence, this is a higher pursuit. 2. If all your standards are not great, what's the point of focusing only on speed? Even if you have the fastest speed, does that make you the best? Finally, regardless of who you compare yourself to, winning or losing is temporary. Our only opponent is ourselves. On one hand, the path we have walked to become who we are now is only because of ourselves. On the other hand, all the negative emotions, self-blame, and worries are imposed by ourselves, the source of our unhappiness is also ourselves. Will you defeat that annoying self or make peace with it? This is still our own business. I can tell that you are someone who has high expectations for yourself, and I believe that you can definitely find your most comfortable state through adjustment. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4163
       },
       {
        "question": "Sometimes, my mindset is not very good because I feel like crying over small things that upset me.",
        "description": "Sometimes, my mood becomes inexplicably irritable and I feel upset. I even start to feel aggrieved and want to cry over very small things.",
        "keywords": "Growth, work, and learning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ From your description, I can sense that your emotional state is quite low. Have you recently encountered significant stressors? If you are feeling \"irritated for no reason and getting upset over very small things\", it might be due to the accumulation of negative emotions, making it difficult to regulate your emotions and easily resulting in emotional breakdowns. It would be helpful to consider seeking a psychotherapist for emotional guidance to help release these pent-up negative emotions. Additionally, you can also try some self-regulation techniques such as confiding in friends or finding ways to release negative emotions. It is crucial to learn how to regulate your emotions promptly after encountering negative events. We all possess a certain level of self-regulation ability. However, when you find that you are unable to regulate yourself, it is important to seek help from others. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19647
       },
       {
        "question": "I am interested in cooking, but I am afraid to show it at home because I'm afraid of being discouraged.",
        "description": "I am quite interested in cooking. This year, during the pandemic, I successfully tried steaming mantou at home. However, I only want to experience it myself and not showcase it to others because I am afraid of the judgment from my family. Even though I know I can do certain things well, I still don't want my family to evaluate me. I'd rather have them think I'm lazy and incapable of anything. I don't want even the slightest bit of derogatory comments on something I truly take seriously.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It sounds like what you mean is that you would rather do nothing at home and not give your family the opportunity to evaluate you, because if you do nothing, you are like a blank sheet of paper that others have nothing to evaluate about. This on the other hand reflects that your family likes to evaluate things and people, but these evaluations make you feel unappreciated and more often than not, degrade you. In order to adapt to this atmosphere within your family, you have taken the approach of doing nothing. So, when you have the opportunity and freedom, go ahead and fully express yourself.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 56,
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           },
           {
            "start": 56,
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           },
           {
            "start": 131,
            "end": 152,
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           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "People who achieve great things often do things that others do not recognize. Even if they see the potential and have a strong conviction, the people around them are all against it, and no one has the same vision and perspective. Once they fail, everyone jumps out and says, \"See, I told you so. He just can't do it, he just likes to daydream, he just loves to mess around...\" But once they succeed, the negative evaluations from before disappear, and everyone can understand them: \"So he was quietly accumulating all along, his vision is so unique, we were all wrong...\" Look, success makes heroes. The original poster says, \"I don't want even the slightest bit of depreciation for the things I take seriously.\" Does that mean those successful people are not serious every time they do something? Are they just perfunctory, and only serious when they succeed? How do they know which thing will succeed? Will they stop doing what they want to do and should do because of others' opinions? The original poster occasionally succeeds in doing something, like steaming buns, and can ensure proficiency in all aspects of cooking, does it come easily? Different professions are like different mountains, being good at one thing (the original poster surely won't rely on steaming buns to make a living in the future) doesn't mean you can do other things well too. If that were the case, why would we need teachers, books, or the internet? If you don't take care of small things, it's difficult to do big things well, because big things are made up of accumulated small things. I know a saying: \"The lazier, the dumber; the dumber, the lazier.\" Don't think that if you don't do it normally, as long as you want to do it, you will definitely do it well, and you can always do it well as before. Especially for complex things, without a lot of practice, thinking about each step, repeatedly pondering, trying and starting over, it's basically impossible to do well, impossible to achieve excellence. Otherwise, there won't be phrases like \"familiarity breeds skill,\" \"practice makes perfect,\" \"the 10,000-hour rule,\" and \"improvement.\" \"Immature Parents\" wrote that children can stay true to themselves as long as their elders support them. However, if they are criticized or humiliated for being true to themselves, they may feel embarrassed because of their genuine needs. Children believe that by pretending to be the way their parents like, they can win their parents' love. They choose to keep their true selves silent and then follow the guidance of their role-playing self and healing fantasies. In this process, they become distant from their inner selves and external reality. The original poster is afraid of family evaluations, afraid of criticism, probably because family members habitually have a negative and skeptical attitude towards anything you do, this is their own problem, they always see you as a child, fortunately maintaining their own image of being tall and mighty in front of you; they don't want to exit your life, don't want to stop interfering and controlling you. The more you evade and show vulnerability, fear of criticism, the more satisfied they are, the more they like criticism and interference. On the other hand, even if the original poster starts off poorly, but doesn't give up, doesn't retreat, works harder, always strives, it will make them take notice of you and withdraw to an appropriate boundary. (At first, they will definitely not give up their control, it takes multiple times to do well, consolidate, and persevere). I hope this can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Caring too much about others' opinions may cause us to miss out on many opportunities. I don't know if you're in that situation as well. I also care about opinions, especially from parents and family, but not so much from strangers. So, at home, in the eyes of my parents, I am someone who can't do anything. But outside, in the workplace, I am a contradictory person. Sometimes I try to perform well, sometimes I shrink back. There may be several reasons for this result. First, parents don't want us to be independent. They need us to rely on them, so in some situations, they subconsciously belittle our achievements, making us think we can't live without them. Secondly, lack of encouragement from parents during childhood makes us lack self-confidence, so we easily believe others' opinions. Lastly, we may have been struck by relatives or encountered certain difficulties in childhood, so we want to excel among familiar people. Dear, we can't control others, and parents also have their limitations. The simplest thing we can do is to love ourselves and have confidence. If you enjoy cooking, you can start by cooking privately.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11245
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old man, feeling very uncomfortable after learning that his partner was sexually harassed in high school.",
        "description": "Just three months into our relationship, she shared her deepest secret with me. At the time, she seemed quite indifferent, as if she had already come to terms with it herself. She told me that she had been involved with the same person multiple times without resisting, which made me very uncomfortable. The problem is that this matter has become a burden for me, and I haven't been able to let go of it. I don't want this issue to affect our relationship, so how should I accept it?",
        "keywords": "Love, love management, virgin complex.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I feel very sorry for her experience, and also very uncomfortable. The fact that she can tell you her deepest secrets and expose her unknown humiliation shows that she already sees you as the most trustworthy and reliable person. But on the other hand, this burden originally belonged to her alone, and after telling you, it becomes a story and emotion that needs to be shared with you. Although it is incorrect to say that this is just a story, as the emotional impact it causes far exceeds what words can convey, I truly hope that the harm it brings will only remain at the story level. It's difficult to determine whether she has already adjusted, but it can be certain that she is also finding balance in some way, otherwise she would be suffering to the point of being unable to move forward. Lin Yihan's \"The Little Reunion\" is based on personal experiences, using a novel format to tell the story of herself and classmates being repeatedly seduced by a teacher, with understated words carrying an irreparable pain. Finally, she suffered from severe depression, choosing to end a life that could no longer continue. She said: Life is like clothes, so easily stripped away. She said: I'm not disappointed in you, it's this world, or life, fate, call it what you will, it's good and bad. Now I read novels, and if I come across a good ending that rewards good and punishes evil, I will cry. I prefer everyone to recognize that some pain in the world cannot be reconciled; I hate it when people say that only through suffering can one become a better person, I desperately wish for everyone to acknowledge that some pain is destructive; I hate the sentimental tradition of a happy ending, positive thinking is so vulgar! But you know what I hate even more? I would rather be a vulgar person, I would rather be ignorant, than to see the backside of the world. If there was a choice, no one wants to go to the backside of the world, or maybe if they had the ability, everyone would want to erase those unbearable stains, and then live in the light forever. Your partner's experience is a normal issue for you, but for her, it is an enormous scar that cannot be shown to anyone. As Lin Yihan said, we must recognize that some pain in the world cannot be reconciled, and acknowledge that some pain is destructive. But I hope her trust and reliance on you will allow her to be reborn, and her rebirth will allow both of you to heal and bid farewell to the past. If you are the right person for each other, you will choose to cherish her even more. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your confusion and I'd like to share my thoughts with you. You mentioned that your girlfriend was sexually assaulted in high school, and it has been causing you a lot of mental discomfort. I would like to discuss my views from three aspects:\n\nFirstly, I feel extremely sympathetic towards your girlfriend's experience. It must have been very painful for her to go through such a situation during high school, especially if she couldn't tell her parents due to family reasons and had to endure the suffering alone. It breaks my heart to think about it. It's not that she didn't want to resist, but at that age, both physically and mentally, she may not have been capable of knowing what was the right thing to do. She felt hopeless and helpless, and the abuse happened repeatedly. Can you imagine how much pain she must have been going through?\n\nSecondly, you mentioned that you feel uncomfortable yourself. I understand that you feel empathetic towards her experience, but if you create a distance and mind her ordeal, then that is unfair. If that's the case, it means you don't truly love her. You have no idea how much she loves and trusts you to share her deepest wounds with you. If you truly don't love her, at least be honest with her and don't cause her further pain, because what she went through was a severe trauma, and it's not her fault.\n\nLastly, I see that you're already 25 years old, an adult with the right values and understanding. Although I can understand your possessiveness towards your girlfriend and not wanting her to have been intimate with other men, it really is not her fault. If it weren't for that beast who took advantage of her... Lastly, I hope that you can comfort her and reassure her that the pain is in the past, and encourage her to lead a positive and optimistic life. If possible, I hope you can love her even more, without selfish motives, so she can understand that her true feelings haven't been betrayed. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can understand the OP's feelings of repression, anxiety, and conflict. Being together for three months, the girlfriend revealed that she had been sexually harassed by someone multiple times without offering any resistance. Any man hearing this would be shocked and find it difficult to understand and accept. It's like being suddenly \"attacked,\" caught off guard, and feeling very uncomfortable and unsure of how to respond, feeling powerless and helpless. For the OP's girlfriend, this happened during her high school years, a transition from adolescence to adulthood, a period of rapid physical and emotional development. She may have had feelings of attraction towards the opposite sex and a certain level of sexual desire, wanting to establish intimate relationships with the opposite sex to satisfy her physical and emotional needs. Being sexually harassed during that period could make her feel accepted and validated by others, as if she already possessed enough charm to attract the attention of men. At the same time, it also negates her, making her feel that others think she lacks the ability to protect herself as an adult, leading to such violations. So her lack of resistance is both unwillingness and fear. It can be said that she lacks self-confidence and a sense of security, and the conflict is intense. She only told the OP after three months of being together, which reveals her inner needs. After three months of getting closer and more intimate, their relationship has developed into a stable and harmonious romantic relationship. This intimacy is both a need and a pressure for her. On one hand, she wants to establish a stable and harmonious intimate relationship with the OP, and on the other hand, she is afraid and unwilling to develop a more intimate relationship with the OP. Therefore, she threw this \"heavy bomb\" at the OP, leaving him \"dizzy\" and feeling uncomfortable, temporarily \"stopping\" the intimate development of their relationship and giving herself a chance to \"take a breather\" and rest. At the same time, by telling the OP, it shows her inability to bear the pressure and is also a \"test\" attack on the OP. She \"needs\" to see how the OP reacts and understand his bottom line. In other words, certain words and actions from the OP in their interaction have made her feel unsafe, and now the pain and confusion the OP is experiencing reflect the lack of mutual understanding and trust between them. Therefore, my personal advice to the OP is to no longer repress oneself and express these thoughts and feelings to the girlfriend, listen to her thoughts and feelings, find out how she views the past events, release and alleviate the pressure in the OP's heart, promote deeper communication and understanding between the two individuals, and resolve misunderstandings between them, ensuring the stable and harmonious development of their relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is indeed a bit difficult to accept such news suddenly, but sometimes we also need to learn to consider things from the other person's perspective. If the other person does not trust us enough and has already adjusted themselves, I believe they would not easily enter into a relationship or reveal their inner secrets to the questioner. The fact that they are able to do so indicates that they have also gone through a struggle in their hearts, and it is just because they want to be with the questioner that they do not want to hide things forever. Many times, when we see certain things, we often say, \"Why didn't you do this? Why didn't you resist?\" But if we put ourselves in their shoes, in certain specific circumstances or threats, how many can remain calm and composed? Not to mention that sometimes girls are inherently disadvantaged, often not because they don't want to resist, but because they do not have the ability to protect themselves, so sometimes they have to compromise under pressure. If the other person says they did not resist, are there other factors involved? Of course, we should never force the other person to reveal all the details, because often we tend to think from our current standpoint. So we can give ourselves some time, tell the other person what concerns us, but also give them a sense of trust, let them know that we still want to be with them, so we are willing to bear some things together with them. When we keep fixating on something, we put all our attention on that matter and neglect the relationship between each other. Therefore, we can put more effort into building a shared future. Since we cannot change the past, can we focus on nurturing our common future? The world loves you and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: In theory, we all understand that \"that was a long time ago, so there's no need to worry about it anymore,\" but emotionally, you still hold the role of current boyfriend, making it difficult to overcome. This is indeed a problem, as carrying this burden will inevitably affect the relationship, and pretending that everything is fine is not a solution. Therefore, instead of avoiding it, it's better to face it head-on. Let's analyze and understand the problem slowly: 1. It has only been three months since you got together, and this is her deepest secret. She told you about it in a nonchalant manner, thinking that she had already adjusted herself. She told you that it happened many times with the same person and she didn't resist, which makes you uncomfortable. (Boy, let's first explore what this means for the girl and what it means for you. Because I can't have a conversation with you, let's think about the following questions together, okay? Girl: \"Deepest secret,\" she has suffered in silence for a long time, for reasons unknown. She didn't dare to tell anyone else, and it happened multiple times. But I think she must have been terrified, and that person may be an acquaintance (at least someone she knows). She didn't dare and didn't know how to resist. Boy: Is it because she went through this experience or because she didn't resist? What is the reason for your discomfort? This girl may be the closest person to you without any blood relation, do you feel pity or anger towards her?) 2. The problem lies in the fact that this matter has become a burden for you, and you haven't been able to let go of it. You don't want it to affect your relationship, so how do you accept this? (Yes, it's the word \"burden.\" What is it that you can't let go of? If this matter continues to be in your heart, it will indeed impact the relationship, right? Boy, when you use the word \"accept,\" if you still can't let go of it, then what do you need to accept about her, and what can't you accept? If you love her, your persistent attitude towards this matter, even though it's only in your mind, will be more damaging to her than the harm that person caused her back then. If you love, love deeply; if you don't love, please leave. Although the words may be direct, the underlying principle is correct. Because this girl has never done anything wrong, and you seem to have forgotten that she is the victim.) Conclusion: I wish you happiness! I hope you can resolve this burden soon! If you have any confusion, feel free to message me privately!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, give a hug to your partner for their unfortunate experience. 1. Regarding the multiple incidents of harassment your partner faced in high school, it is important to note that high school is a time of emotional confusion and impulsiveness for many, and often during this time, boys and girls may not fully understand or be clear about the meaning and appropriateness of their sexual actions. Many times, these actions may occur due to misguided influence. The fact that your partner experienced multiple incidents of harassment is undoubtedly a significant hurdle in her life. Throughout the years, she must have endured a lot of emotional torment to be able to accept her past now. By choosing to tell you about it, it demonstrates her seriousness in considering your relationship and future together. In doing so, she must have felt anxious and conflicted. 2. As for your concern about his past, I believe that most guys have a preference for a partner who hasn't had previous sexual experiences, and I understand that you may share this preference. This is a normal thought, and many of my male friends feel the same way. However, in this situation, I think it's more important for you to consider whether this aspect holds significant weight in your relationship. Does this girl impress you in other aspects and do you both have compatible personalities? If so, maybe these qualities can overshadow your concern and turn it into compassion. Personally, I believe that while sex is important, the integration between two people is even more vital. On the other hand, have you had sexual experiences with your ex? Considering this from a different perspective might help you understand better. 3. As for your concern about your partner not resisting during the harassment, there are many things during adolescence that are difficult to explain why certain actions were taken at the time. Of course, the actions of the harasser were undoubtedly wrong. I believe that the girl was probably extremely frightened and unsure at the time, not knowing what to do. Is it really necessary to delve deeply into the past? In fact, she could have chosen not to tell you about it, but she did, which indicates that she genuinely wants to be in a relationship with you. 4. If you truly have a strong concern about this matter, it's best to end the relationship now, while your feelings are still in the early stages. Otherwise, this issue might cause future conflicts between you both. If possible, end the relationship while avoiding hurting the girl. If you decide to continue together, please give her a warm, loving embrace.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In the #incident of being molested# , as an audience, the original poster (OP) is already feeling very uncomfortable, let alone the person who was molested herself, right? She must have a lot of trust in you and care about you in order to muster up the courage to tell you about this incident, right? We've only been together for three months, and this is her deepest secret. When she told me, she seemed calm, as if she had already dealt with it herself. I can feel her trust and love for me here. Even though it hasn't been a very long time since we got together, she chose to tell me about this. Isn't that trust and love? There may also be another possibility that this incident is not as insignificant to her as she portrays it. It could still be a trauma for her, and maybe she chose to tell me now to see to what extent my love for her can accept it. She told me that it happened multiple times with the same person, and she didn't resist, which made me very uncomfortable. She experienced this during high school and maybe didn't resist because she was afraid or didn't know how to resist, right? So, OP, you might want to think about whether what makes you uncomfortable is the #incident of her being molested# or the #fact that she didn't resist#. The problem is that this incident has become a burden for me and I haven't been able to let it go. I don't want this incident to affect our relationship, so how should I accept it? As the OP, who is the boyfriend of the person involved, it's definitely uncomfortable to hear, right? Look, you're only together for three months, and you probably want everything about her to belong to you, don't you? Her being molested is like someone taking away your favorite cheese, so feeling #uncomfortable, suppressed, and uneasy# is very normal, right? Although this incident has had a big impact on you, you still care about her. Therefore, I suggest that you try to see this incident from the perspective of the female protagonist and feel her fear and unease. This way, you might not think that this incident is related to her own weakness. Also, the OP can think about whether you love her. What do you love about her? Can you accept both her strengths and weaknesses? If you are sure that you truly love her, then you can find an opportunity to talk to her about this. I think this issue is not just a burden for you, but perhaps also for your partner. The world and I love you. Best wishes to the OP, Jingjing Ting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I can sense that the topic creator feels uncomfortable because of this situation. You can ask yourself, what is it that you care about her? Is it because you feel she has been harassed a lot, or you feel she is no longer pure? Or do you feel that the \"perfect\" image of her in your mind is gone? As for this matter, how do you view it? Actually, in this relationship, you hope to continue and quickly accept this matter, so that it can quickly pass and not affect your own feelings and the relationship between each other. But also, hope you understand that this matter is beyond your original understanding, knowledge, and feelings. It is also \"new\" to you. When certain things happen to you for the first time, you will also feel lost and need some time. When you heard about this matter, what were your feelings? What happened in your mind? It's important to know your feelings. Try to express your feelings at that time. Because feelings belong to oneself and are the true content. If you avoid your feelings, you are also telling yourself to avoid this matter and the impact it has on you. As a result, you will gradually avoid interacting and communicating with her, and feel even more helpless. You can also give yourself some time to calm down and tell your partner that you are learning to accept it slowly. If she has already accepted it, you can talk to her about what concerns you and let her know why you want to discuss it. You can also think more about why you care so much about this matter. What does this matter mean to you? Perhaps for your partner, showing her true self will make her feel relieved, instead of pretending. Because it is not easy for her to talk about these experiences with others. The fact that she is willing to share them with you shows her honesty towards you. So, you can also try to be honest about your worries, fears, and various thoughts (because this is about being harassed, not knowing if it is sexual assault, not knowing which step has occurred. So it is important to identify which part of the content the topic creator cannot accept). Because this will involve whether the \"bad\" part is allowed to exist in the object relationship. That is, only allowing the partner to be perfect and allowing oneself to be perfect. These possibilities exist. If you want to explore in further detail, I recommend seeking professional counseling from a mental health professional.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14945
       },
       {
        "question": "14 years old, introverted personality, feels like an outsider, doesn't know what to do?",
        "description": "14-year-old girl. Because of her introverted personality, she has been beaten by her mother since childhood. I have also tried to change, actively talking to a group of people, but no one cares at all, it's really embarrassing. I don't know why, sometimes I am more outgoing when facing strangers. I used to be cheerful when I was younger, but it changed when I entered first grade, I dare not answer questions in class, my voice is also quiet. I have always had good grades, and my parents have high expectations for me. But when I think about my personality, what's the use of good grades if I can't speak in the society? It's hard to survive. I don't know what to do, and I have even thought about suicide. I really hate myself like this, so much. Of course, I also have cheerful moments, when talking about things I'm interested in or playing games with classmates, I can be outgoing, but it's only temporary.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, little sister, after listening to your troubles, I really hope you can become more confident. You're only 14 years old, life has just begun, and all the good things are waiting for you to embrace. 1. Don't give yourself negative suggestions that you can't do it. You can do it. Look, you have your own interests and hobbies. Go ahead and develop them, and connect with people who share the same interests. 2. Don't worry about the future that hasn't arrived yet. Everyone has their own strengths, and people can change. Focus on studying now, and when it's time to work, you will naturally adapt to the work environment. You don't need to worry too much. 3. Don't force yourself to fit into other people's circles. Eventually, you will find people who click with you. Before that happens, just focus on doing what you need to do.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14777
       },
       {
        "question": "A 28-year-old woman developed feelings for her uncle and had an affair. How can she express herself after 2 years?",
        "description": "He is 14 years older than me. We met two years ago, and when I first met him, he liked me a lot. However, at that time, I was still considering and maybe he thought I rejected him, but I just thought it wasn't the right time. After two years, I still can't forget him and think he is the best. But suddenly he told me that he has already found someone else who is in a long-distance relationship with him. I'm really unhappy about this. I want to ask, does this mean I have no chance at all? I just haven't mustered the courage to say these words. He should understand now that maybe I still haven't forgotten him. Is it necessary for me to tell him that I really like him? Can he consider me?",
        "keywords": "Love, winning back an ex, relationship management, feelings",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "# I met him two years ago. When I met him, he really liked me, but at that time I was still considering and maybe he felt rejected by me, but I just felt that it was not suitable for the time being. # There was a chance for you to be together, but you felt it was not suitable so you rejected him. # Maybe I still can't forget him # He has something that attracts you, and after two years of experience, you may also appreciate him, so you feel that he is currently your best choice. That's probably why you can't forget about him slowly. Am I understanding this correctly?# But he suddenly told me that he already has a partner who is in a long-distance relationship # It's definitely bad news for you, but you still have a chance. # Is it necessary for me to tell him that I really like him and ask him to consider me? # This is your genuine need. I think you still have a chance and options. Option one: You can continue to maintain a friendship and not rush into a romantic relationship. You can do anything you want for him. If you truly like him, he will gradually feel your affection. He does have a girlfriend now, but it doesn't prevent you from expressing your care and liking for him. However, you shouldn't rush to define the relationship. This involves ethical issues. The cost: for you, you need to accept the fact that he already has a girlfriend. Your ongoing efforts may not necessarily result in him choosing you in the end. It will test your psychological endurance. Of course, you can choose to give up at any time during this process. So, you will spend more time struggling with yourself, overcoming negative emotions, and the constraints of moral beliefs. Also, many of his actions may not meet your expectations. Option two: You can continue to stay in contact with him until he breaks up with his current girlfriend. Then, you can express your admiration for him. The cost: this option is also agonizing for yourself, and the psychological test is not lower than the first option. Slightly better, there is almost no ethical test. The higher risk is that it will be difficult to define the relationship with him, and the chance of losing him is higher. He may marry the other person. Of course, there are other options that would require further communication and more information with you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Good afternoon! I can sense your inner dissatisfaction. It's perfectly fine to have feelings for someone. However, liking someone doesn't necessarily mean we have to spend our lives with them, right? You and this uncle come from different generations. Although he liked you back then and now you like him, there are bound to be certain differences in thinking patterns and other aspects due to age. We must be aware of this. It is not an absolute obstacle, but it does remind us to give each other more time to understand one another. If a relationship develops solely because of liking each other, without a deep understanding or a commitment to the future, the outcome of this relationship may not be satisfactory. In matters of the heart, there is no right or wrong, only who gets hurt and who finds solace in the end. As the person in a more vulnerable position, I hope you proceed with caution, take it slow, and strive for a balance between rationality and emotional preferences. Best wishes, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7043
       },
       {
        "question": "Just moved to a new city and want to make new friends, but don't know how to start?",
        "description": "I have been feeling very tired lately. Every day, it's just work and then back home. I read novels at home. I just moved to a new city and don't have any friends. I don't know where to start in making new friends, especially since I am quite introverted. I'm 29 years old, and I don't earn much money. I have a bad relationship with my father, and we often argue. Sometimes, I feel helpless because he says hurtful things. Does that mean I should just stay home and read novels until I die? It's also miserable not being able to make new friends. I really want to find new friends! Every day, people tell me to go out and find friends after work. Do they expect me to randomly approach someone on the street and ask if they want to be friends with me? I am really exhausted from this. Sometimes, I even think about just giving up and dying.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, expressing emotions, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello ~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, it can be understood that 1. OP lives and works outside and has no friends in the new place. 2. Parents are dissatisfied with OP's lifestyle, and OP has had thoughts of wanting to change, but doesn't know how to do it. \u3010A little analysis and advice\u3011 1. Working alone, many times one does feel lonely. Socializing outside or staying at home reading and resting are different lifestyle choices for everyone, depending on personal preferences and inclinations. In this regard, perhaps the father's criticism is unreasonable. If OP wants to make friends, it must be because one truly desires to have friends, and not because of parental pressure. Friendships obtained in such a manner will be more enduring. 2. Making friends is indeed not about randomly talking to someone on the street. The source of friendships often starts with common interests and social interactions, such as meeting someone while exercising every day, or having good chemistry with a colleague during a conversation, or even neighbors. Observe the people around and perhaps one will meet compatible friends.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15095
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel exhausted, and I don't want to live anymore. I feel like I'm being hypocritical.",
        "description": "I'm always being told by my parents to do things I don't want to do. They never talk about the painful things they've done in the past, especially the ones that hurt me. The things they want me to do are never acknowledged or praised, no matter what I do, it's always just a sentence to keep trying. This confuses me and I don't know what I want or what I'm striving for. They never see the efforts I put in, but only focus on my flaws. Being criticized every day is really painful for me. Maybe this is my final message, goodbye to this world. I hope my family and I all disappear and blame this world.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. It's heartbreaking to hear about your experiences. Sending you a virtual hug! Regarding your current problem: You are always being asked by your parents to do things that you don't want to do, and even when you do them well, there is no praise or recognition. Plus, your family only sees your flaws and never acknowledges your efforts, constantly criticizing you to the point where it becomes unbearable. I have a few suggestions for you: Try to communicate your thoughts with your family. It seems like your family has high expectations and wants you to excel. They may believe that criticizing and being strict with you will make you better. However, they may not realize that everyone has their limits and too much obedience without expressing your own needs can prevent them from knowing how much you can handle. Thus, the pressure keeps building up. Find a time when both you and your family are emotionally stable, and explain your needs, what you want to do, and your own plans. Speaking honestly is a way to release your inner emotions. If communication is impossible, there's no harm in being a little rebellious. You seem to be someone who is very obedient and dedicated in your family's eyes, which has also led to them neglecting your needs. If communication is not possible, don't always prioritize accommodating your family's feelings. Do what you truly want, love, and find useful for yourself. Don't worry about disappointing your family; they may be a little upset at first. But rather than seeing their child overwhelmed and falling into despair, they would prefer to see a happy and healthy baby. If you're feeling unhappy, go out and explore the world. I've also been someone who has been excessively demanded by my family. Although I eventually clarified things with my family and gained their understanding, there was a time when things got really bad, and I broke down and cried all night, throwing books everywhere and ending up with swollen eyes the next day. It was my classmates who brought me back from running away from home and took me shopping and out to eat. At first, my mood was really low, but seeing everyone happy and my friends patiently listening to me vent, I started to feel better. We all have moments when it's difficult to escape our emotions, so it's better to not dwell on them for now and go explore the world, enjoy good food and drinks, and then think about ways to solve the problem. No matter what, don't lose hope in yourself. The world and we all love you. Keep striving to be happy, my little mushroom who hopes for a gentle world and gives yourself the time to grow freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your words, I feel deeply saddened. In fact, every family will have their own problems. I am not you and cannot truly understand from your perspective. But let me try to empathize. I think if there are problems within a family, the most effective method is communication. You have to believe that your parents actually love you, even if their actions may not show it. You need to understand that happiness and sadness are both part of life, and if you want to make a change, you have to start with yourself. Although what I'm saying may sound a little less emotional, I believe that there is nothing that cannot be resolved through good communication. Don't be pessimistic anymore, sweetheart. There are still people who love you in this world, and you need to love yourself as well. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Yiyemingxin, and one word knows you. I don't know how old you are. Can you tell me? You mentioned your pain, not being understood by your family, lacking support and encouragement, and only receiving negative evaluations. I can tell that you feel quite suppressed. You're not living happily and feel lost, not knowing what you want. What I want to say is, \"Don't punish yourself for other people's mistakes.\" If you think your family is at fault, let's be objective and recognize the boundaries between others' mistakes and our own responsibilities. Actually, if you browse through the questions and answers, you can see many people who, like you, have family troubles. We all have many troubles, trivial ones mostly, and most are difficult to resolve. I believe you are the same. It's difficult to accept an imperfect family, and it's difficult to accept oneself. But I hope you know that \"you are not alone.\" There are many people in the world who have similar troubles as you. We are all struggling, trying our best, and helping each other. If all else fails, you can come here to talk, you are not alone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Take it as a lesson. If both parents are constantly focusing on their child's flaws, the child will indeed feel suppressed. However, it would be a waste to commit suicide because of this. After all, there is still a long life ahead, and there will be plenty of good times to let yourself soar. Instead, treat this current hardship as an anchor. If you anchor this as the norm of life, then all the future moments will be filled with happiness. Don't blame your parents too much. It seems that most adults are similar. The more expectations they have for their children, the more anxious they become about the competitive education around them. In this way, parents are more likely to overlook their child's strengths. In fact, there are many lovely aspects to a child's growth, and there are many sweet moments filled with happiness. It's just that sometimes adults are blinded by their anxieties and fail to see the beauty. Keep this in mind. When you have your own child, don't forget to compliment them more :).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12918
       },
       {
        "question": "Six months ago, I experienced three consecutive setbacks. How can I overcome this slump in life?",
        "description": "Six months ago, I experienced three consecutive blows. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, my beloved family member suddenly passed away, and I broke up with my partner. Recently, my trusted boss also resigned, which has made me feel even more distressed and lost. I'm feeling very low and just want to be alone. It feels like everyone who loved me has left me... What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive mood, emotion regulation, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In your description, I see your pain, helplessness, confusion, and feeling lost... How to overcome these confusion and pain and reach another level of life is indeed a test. However, life still belongs to you. Take leaving a job with a trusted boss as an example, it is actually a fate to encounter in the workplace. He cannot be your boss forever, and you cannot be his subordinate forever either. This is similar to a romantic relationship, if there is no fate, it is destined to be just a passing guest, no longer staying. In such a low point in life, what needs to be considered more is to regain self-confidence, regain a healthy self-love, fight against the illness, and courageously stand up, so that the self will no longer be weak. When you become strong, learn to love yourself, and those who love you will naturally not need to worry. There was a young woman who failed to pass the postgraduate entrance exam twice, and she was already 28 years old. When she was struggling, her mother told her, \"It's never too late to change yourself.\" This young woman is Jing Yidan, who entered the graduate school of Beijing Broadcasting Institute at the age of 29. So, it's never too late to change yourself. \u03b5 I wish you the best. I am here, and the world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3894
       },
       {
        "question": "What is love in this world, that makes people willing to live and die for each other?",
        "description": "It's because I love you that I don't want to influence you. It's because I like you that I have to give up.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the paragraph is very touching. Because you love someone, you don't want to influence them; because you like them, you have to let go. I think this is a high level of love. However, the quote you used conveys a strong sense of sadness. Although you tell yourself to let go rationally, you may be very reluctant emotionally, enduring great pain. I don't know why you don't want to influence them. If there are various objective reasons that make it impossible for you to be together, then it is rational to give up in advance, to stop losses in time, and to avoid falling into greater pain. But if the problems between you can be overcome, perhaps you can make an effort, have a conversation with the other person, listen to their thoughts, and not give up too early. \"What is love in the world? It teaches people to surrender their lives.\" Emotions are often so intense, so if it's worth fighting for, don't miss it. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14340
       },
       {
        "question": "Since I used to have cold hands and feet at night, I have been more and more afraid as the night gets later.",
        "description": "Ever since that one night when my hands and feet became ice-cold and my heart felt chilly, I have developed a fear of getting more scared as the night gets later. This has been torturing me for nearly 5 months now. I have been to the hospital for examination, but they didn't find any major problems. However, I still feel scared. I frequently suffer from insomnia, sometimes waking up at 1 am after falling asleep at midnight and then being unable to sleep again. I stay up late and become fearful. I have no idea what state I fall asleep in every day and feel tired during the day, but I'm afraid to sleep too much. I have to go to the hospital every week, and my family is already fed up. I measure myself using a fingertip pulse oximeter every day at home. I'm also afraid to go far away and constantly worry my friends. I wonder what will happen to me. This only happens at night, and it becomes more severe as the night progresses.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, pathological personality, abnormal behavior.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the host a hug! You can feel the host's inner suppressed anxiety and fear. The cold hands and feet and the chilly feeling in the heart are just stimuli that trigger the host's suppressed emotional feelings, thus affecting the host's normal sleep and life. From a physiological perspective, cold hands and feet indicate that the host has heavy coldness in the body, especially in the limbs, poor circulation of Qi and blood, and relatively weak kidney yang. The chilly feeling in the heart indicates insufficient heart yang and qi. The kidneys are the foundation of innate vitality, and insufficient kidney yang leads to insufficient heart qi and gallbladder qi, which can cause timidity and fear. Conversely, timidity and fear further deplete kidney yang, affecting other internal organs and causing varying degrees of pathology, thus affecting the host's normal sleep and life. From a psychological perspective, the host has a lot of suppressed anxiety and fear, reaching the limit of psychological endurance. Insomnia is a subconscious warning for the host to pay attention to these emotional feelings and give them appropriate freedom and satisfaction. Therefore, personally, I think the host can consider a holistic approach to both the body and mind. The host has previously had examinations and did not find any problems. Medical instruments generally only check for inflammatory tumors or organ damage and cannot check the flow and weakness of Qi and blood. Therefore, it may be helpful to consider seeing a suitable traditional Chinese medicine doctor, who can regulate the body's warmth, nourish kidney yang, and adjust the host's diet, daily routine, and lifestyle to restore the body to a normal balanced state. On the other hand, it may be beneficial to make an appointment with a suitable teacher for systematic psychological counseling, release the suppressed emotional feelings, repair internal trauma, and solve the problems that are troubling the host.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17772
       },
       {
        "question": "26-year-old girl, got rejected, why do I keep dreaming about him?",
        "description": "Just recently, he found out that I liked him, and he sort of indirectly rejected me. Since then, I've been dreaming about the two of us doing various things every day, some good and some not so good. I would have multiple dreams in one night, causing me to have a disrupted sleep pattern. My sleep quality has become very poor.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing relationships, affection.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~~~ Dreams sometimes reflect our subconscious mind, and people often say \"what you think about during the day, you will dream about at night\" and there is some truth to it; recently, you keep dreaming about that guy and the things that happened between you two, I think it's related to recent experiences. I wonder how your mood is during the day? Does your mood fluctuate greatly after being rejected by the guy? If your mood also has a significant reaction during waking hours, it is possible that our minds continue to think about this matter at night. In order to deal with this, we can exercise moderately and regulate our emotions in our daily lives, and maintain a stable mood before falling asleep. This also helps to improve the quality of our sleep~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13691
       },
       {
        "question": "A 16-year-old girl is having a hard time adjusting to school life since it started and is considering becoming a day student.",
        "description": "Since the beginning of school, I have been feeling homesick every day and wanting to go back home to live. I cry every night and feel unhappy in the morning. The only time I feel better is when I exercise, but as soon as it's over, I feel even worse. I become emotionally unstable over trivial matters and tend to avoid social interactions. Should I choose to live off-campus or should I adapt?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, I understand your current situation, and it's completely normal to feel this way when you first start boarding school! Sending virtual hugs \ufe0f\ufe0f [Missing home] [Crying every night] There is a big difference between being a day student and living on campus. After a long day of studying, it's comforting to have family waiting at home. When you first start living on campus, it's common to feel insecure and have difficulty adjusting to the sleeping arrangements. I assume your sister just started high school? It's a new class with new classmates, and you haven't built a social network yet, so feeling lonely and helpless is completely normal. Don't suppress these emotions. Just like how you've found exercise as a way to release stress, try exploring other activities as well! See if there's anything you enjoy doing at school, and distract yourself with those activities. It might help improve the situation. [Mood instability due to small things] \"Small things\" are just triggers, but the real problem is your struggle to adapt to the environment, which makes you highly sensitive. As a result, those small things become outlets for your emotions. This emotional state has always been there; it just happened to surface. It's beneficial as long as you don't harm yourself or your friends, so don't burden yourself too much. Moreover, since you've recognized that your emotions are spiraling out of control, let's find a way that you enjoy to release those emotions even better. [Social withdrawal] Actually, the quickest way to adapt to communal living is to establish your own social network within the community. I'm not saying you have to make a lot of effort to fit in, but just find one or two friends you somewhat like and slowly spend time with them. Communal living is also a mandatory course in our lives, as you will have dorm life in college too. So if possible, I hope you can try to open up and gradually integrate yourself without rushing it. If it's really difficult to adjust, please communicate with your parents and teachers as soon as possible. Learning is already hard enough, and being happy is more important!\ufe0f I hope you can adapt to the new environment quickly and make friends with people whose personalities match yours. Rooting for you (\u0e07\u2022\u0300_\u2022\u0301)\u0e07 (If this has been helpful to you, please encourage me by clicking \"Helpful\"!)",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9393
       },
       {
        "question": "There is no emotional fluctuation, only feelings of fear and dread?",
        "description": "Previously, when watching videos or reading articles that could evoke emotional fluctuations, I would react just like any ordinary person. But now, as soon as those fluctuations arise, they are immediately suppressed by an unknown force, and I no longer feel anything. I can only sense fear and dread. The feeling of sadness is also gone. I don't know why. Additionally, I no longer have any desire for sexual activities.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, mental disorders, behavioral abnormalities.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this is probably part of growing up. We become more and more invincible, harder to empathize, and with a stronger and tougher heart. In a way, this is not necessarily a bad thing, right? Of course, I also understand that it's not easy to feel yourself becoming \"heartless.\" At times like this, it is necessary to return to our inner selves, gradually peel away the layers of \"experiences\" and \"maturity\" that wrap around our hearts, and become more sensitive and attentive. What is needed is a concerted effort to seek empathy. Take the time to immerse yourself in stories about life and human nature, as well as other people's comments. Digest those emotions repeatedly, slowly, and with an immersive experience. Eventually, the capacity for empathy will return. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From the description, I understand that 1. Things that used to cause emotional fluctuations no longer affect you. 2. Now you have no interest in anything and only feel fear. [Some analysis and suggestions] 1. With the development of the internet, there are more and more channels to access information, and the stimuli we get from online sources are also increasing. People's emotions have a threshold. For example, if you occasionally see a disabled beggar on the street, you may feel sympathy, but if you see beggars every day through various channels, the threshold for this emotion will increase, which means you become numb to such things. There may be a similar reason why you no longer have feelings towards things that used to cause emotional fluctuations. 2. My suggestion is to try to reduce the intake of external information, pay less attention to Weibo, news, and other sources of information. Take a break from your emotions in ordinary social life and use more leisure activities like reading or exercise. If these symptoms persist, I recommend seeking professional psychological counseling. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13607
       },
       {
        "question": "I always feel like everything is my fault, sorry mom and dad, I feel like I'm so useless.",
        "description": "Today my friend messaged me saying that she passed her piano exam, which is no big deal. But in the evening, which is now, I've been crying and I don't know why. I constantly feel like everything is my fault and I'm sorry to my parents. There was even a moment where I wanted to die. After a while, I calmed down, but now it's starting again. Do I have a mental problem?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You feel like everything is your fault. (2) You feel guilty towards your parents. Here are my analysis and suggestions, hoping to help you: It seems that all of your emotions stem from the news of your friend's piano achievement. Logically, you should be happy for your friend's success, so why do you feel sad and self-critical? Is it because you also pursued the same thing and feel inferior to your friend? Actually, everyone is striving and working hard on their own path, and everyone has their own unique way of doing things. So, even if you didn't achieve the same as your friend, it doesn't mean you're worthless, do you agree? As for feeling guilty towards your parents, being not outstanding doesn't mean you let them down. Love doesn't require such things. Lastly, if you're not feeling comfortable, you can reach out to a mental health counselor. It's not that you have a problem, but with the help of professionals, your emotional state can recover faster. #The world and I love you, take care.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9334
       },
       {
        "question": "I stood behind someone, wanting to push them down, feeling very confused in my mind, inexplicably uncomfortable.",
        "description": "Always want to push the person standing behind me, my mind is particularly chaotic. It's fine when I'm alone, but when there are many people around, I start to feel anxious. Now I just don't go out anymore. Sometimes, inexplicably, I feel really distressed mentally, but it gets better after crying it out.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, aggression, chaos",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I see that there is not much information in your words, so I can only guess based on some of my own observations, which is for reference only. Are you always thinking about pushing others when others are ahead of you? This indicates that you are tired of others or that your inner peace is disturbed. If you have experienced something negative in the past, such as something that has hurt you deeply, or if you have seen something negative, then your cognition may be influenced by that and you may think that everything is like that. Do you have any illusions that someone wants to harm you, or do you feel disconnected from the world, or feel like you don't fit in, or feel that someone is treating you badly and you resent them? If you have these situations, they may cause you to think like this. These thoughts are not good and can be dangerous, so you need to gradually change them. Also, if you are not going out anymore, it can easily lead to problems. Because by staying indoors for a long time, your inner emotions cannot be released, and if you frequently think about something, it can easily lead to depression or anxiety. So you must not continue like this, you need to slowly change. If you continue like this, it will cause significant obstacles to your mental health, and you will become increasingly unable to adapt to society. Recommendation: No matter what you have experienced, you shouldn't think like this. The world is beautiful, and if you continue like this, it will cause problems in your cognition, and I believe you don't want that. I hope you can be happy and go out to see the beautiful scenery! Believe in yourself, gradually change yourself, and be happy. If heaven closes one door for you, it will surely open a window. Keep it up.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The description provided by the questioner is brief, but contains a lot of information, yet it is not clear enough. For example, when it says \"always wanting to push him,\" is \"him\" referring to everyone, or to a specific person or group of people? What does \"okay\" mean in the statement \"it's okay when alone\"? What is the fear behind not wanting to go out? And what kind of situations make one feel \"unexplainably uncomfortable\"? When did these feelings start? How long has it been going on? When was the first time you noticed it, and in what circumstances? In the question, it is mentioned that you \"just don't go out anymore,\" and it seems that this idea of wanting to harm others scares even yourself. You fear that you might turn these thoughts into actions and hurt others. It is evident that the questioner is worried, afraid, and troubled, and that these issues have already caused difficulties in daily life. It is recommended that you seek out a psychiatrist or a professional mental health counselor to talk about it. They will be able to assist you better once they have a deeper understanding of your situation. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 2678
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it either to endure or to explode? Are there any other solutions?",
        "description": "Hello, can I consult about a problem that has been bothering me for a long time? Recently, I have been having some tension with my colleague. Although she is my coworker, she always likes to correct my mistakes and tell me how to do things, which I find interfering. I don't think she has the right to criticize others since she is not the manager. I dislike it when others try to control me, and it makes me develop a rebellious mentality. I used to have a good impression of her, but after she told me what to do several times, I started to hold a grudge against her. I really want to vent my feelings and tell her that I don't like her interference, but at the same time I worry that others will think I'm being petty and difficult if I say something, which could lead to a strained relationship and eventually leaving my job. Recently, even the manager keeps pointing out my mistakes, and I feel like it's all targeted towards me because she never says anything to my colleague. This has caused me to have a strong objection towards her and believe that she is singling me out and treating me differently. In my previous jobs, I always had problems with interpersonal relationships, and almost every time I ended up quitting after arguments. The same thing happened with my relationships with coworkers before. At first, I always kept things to myself and didn't express my own stance, thinking that expressing myself would make me seem too concerned about trivial matters. As a result, others might think I'm easy to pick on. This resentment always ends up building up until it explodes, and when it does, I quit my job. I'm very afraid that this cycle will continue and affect my professional future. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflicts, colleagues.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, hello, hugs to you~ After reading your description, I can really understand how you feel about your colleague's suggestions that go beyond their normal responsibilities and make you uncomfortable. Based on your description, you are bothered by your colleague's repeated suggestions, but you're not sure if you should communicate this to them. Indeed, in the workplace, the relationship between colleagues is more about competition and cooperation, but that does not mean that they can dictate your actions. Personally, if you feel very distressed, you must bring it up in a timely manner and let the other person know how you feel in order to better resolve the issue. Perhaps the other person doesn't mind you addressing this matter, as most solutions to problems are found through communication.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 927
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I get along with my family members happily when my two sisters often argue and I can't concentrate on studying?",
        "description": "I have two older sisters, and due to the pandemic, we are all working from home. Since our house is small, conflicts often arise between them because they don't have suitable work environments. I also find it difficult to concentrate on my studies. In the face of this problem, how can I get along happily with my sisters?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and the process of growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. You want a quiet study environment, but your sister's constant arguments make you feel annoyed. On the other hand, you do hope that your sisters can get along harmoniously. You mentioned that the space at home is small and there is no suitable working environment. Without an environment, can you try to create one? For example, if the table is not enough, what about buying a space-saving folding table? If there are not enough power outlets, what about buying another one? Don't worry, take your time to think, there may be many solutions that you haven't thought of before. These are just my suggestions, I hope they can help you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17409
       },
       {
        "question": "After being married for 5 years without any sexual intimacy, the marriage has become very painful. Should they get a divorce?",
        "description": "Teacher, hello. Marriage is very painful. Should I get a divorce? 1. We have been married for over five years, but we have never been able to have a sexual relationship. The reason is that I was very scared the first time, and my husband has a slight problem with erection. Now, my in-laws are eager for grandchildren and constantly urging us to do IVF. I'm not very willing because on the one hand, the doctor said there is nothing majorly wrong with our bodies and advises against it, and on the other hand, IVF can be harmful to the body to some extent. Moreover, my husband is not a very good man to me. 2. My husband and I argue over trivial things every now and then (our arguments are not related to our sexual relationship, but because my husband often messes around with me), and sometimes it escalates to physical violence. Every time it gets serious, my husband threatens divorce, and I feel very insecure. 3. My husband's family is from a remote rural area, and they are very traditional. My father-in-law is very serious, and I don't like living with them. However, my husband has limited abilities and can't afford to buy a house for now, so I can't see a future.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, beliefs about marriage, divorce, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a hug. These days are so torturous, but believe me, there must be more solutions than problems when it comes to marriage stability. Love, sex, money, shared values, and nurturing the soul are all important aspects of an adult's marriage. Without the romantic colors of love, a marriage becomes more realistic and secular, which is the ugliest but most realistic part. Even the marriage of a prince and princess involves mundane matters like eating, sleeping, and making money. If legendary love stories like Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai, Romeo and Juliet were to survive, they would also face the worldly reality. So first of all, do not assume that other people's marriages are always happy. My marriage is the most tragic, with flaws and shortcomings on both sides. It's just that some people's flaws are more visible than others. Sex is the premise of marriage, and a sexless marriage will only work if there's a consensus in a utopian style. Considering your sexless five-year marriage, based on your current way of having sex, it is definitely challenging to maintain your marriage. I haven't seen anything else besides love, money, and sex that can provide a foundation for your marriage. So, you need to go back to the core and see what pillars support your marriage. What kind of support can you and your husband provide for a stable marriage? If the lack of sexual desire is due to psychological problems or organic causes, you need to seek treatment. I once had a client who suffered from impotence for two years and could not have sex with his partner. In the process of counseling, we discovered that his impotence was caused by an abusive past relationship. After three hours of therapy to address the emotional trauma, the client's psychological impotence disappeared, and now he's about to become a father. So, what I want to say is, you need to seek help from a therapist or hypnotherapist to address your fear of starting sex. Find out what is blocking you. Is it a fear of men, a feeling that sex is dirty, or trauma from being abused? You need to find out the specific reasons and seek help from a therapist you trust to help you overcome your fear of sex. Because many times, resolving sexual issues can also improve many aspects of a marriage. If your fear of sex is not resolved, any man you try to be with may not be able to begin a sexual relationship. Your sexual life is currently resolved by avoiding sex and just rubbing together; this can lead to problems like premature ejaculation and impotence for your husband in the long run. A large part of your disputes and arguments actually stem from the unsatisfactory sexual relationship. Both you and your husband may need to seek help from professionals. If you resolve your sexual issues, it is highly possible that your current problems of arguing and the husband frequently threatening divorce will be resolved. Deep down, you don't want to divorce him and you fear his threats of divorce during arguments. So instead of waiting for him to change, it's better to take the initiative to address the core issues. Solve the sexual problems and many answers to your marriage will fall into place. Your fears of sex, divorce, and an uncertain future will disappear one by one. I wish you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can sense your confusion and pain. First, let me give you a warm hug. Regarding your marriage, I can see that you have summarized it very systematically. The first issue is the disharmony in your sexual life. This is influenced by both your psychological factors and your husband's physical conditions. But overall, if it weren't for the pressure of pregnancy, you and your spouse have already adjusted your sexual life to a level and pattern that both of you can accept. The key contradiction lies in whether or not to have a child. Thinking about this question also involves your evaluation and consideration of your marital status. I think it is very necessary for you to first consider the issue of your marital status at this time. Secondly, in the process of your interaction as a couple, I can see that the way you handle conflicts has escalated to physical violence. Your husband also mentions divorce when conflicts get serious. This probably reflects that both of you need to improve your ability to handle relationships and resolve conflicts. Your understanding of marriage is still not mature enough. Thirdly, the reality of not being able to independently form a small family due to economic pressure and having to live with your elders also seems to have brought some negative impact on your marriage. Therefore, facing the question of whether or not to get a divorce, you need to understand some answers within yourself. What kind of marital relationship do you expect? Currently, in your marital relationship, what satisfies your expectations and what doesn't? In terms of those aspects that are not satisfied, based on the current reality, which ones can be adjusted and improved? Which ones are currently unchangeable, but you can't compromise on? In your current marriage, what do you feel attached to and what can't you accept? In those aspects that you can't accept, which ones can be adjusted and improved? Which ones will never change and you must endure? If you list out the answers to the above questions one by one, perhaps you can find the answers in your heart.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are currently seeking help online, which means that neither getting a divorce nor maintaining the current situation has an absolute advantage. There are three reasons for this situation: conflicts between emotions and reason. You know that you would gain more benefits from getting a divorce, but because you still have feelings for each other, you don't want to get divorced. Or, there is a conflict between emotions and reason: you no longer have much affection for your husband, but because the benefits of getting a divorce are not obvious or even nonexistent, you want to get a divorce but don't dare to. It's not as absolute as 1 or 2, you still have some feelings for your husband, and the benefits of getting a divorce are not that significant, so you hesitate. My advice for the above situations is: first, create a very detailed spreadsheet listing the advantages and disadvantages of divorce vs. maintaining the current situation. Since you can't write down all the details of your daily life here, this spreadsheet can only be completed by yourself. Score these advantages and disadvantages, and you can also discuss and evaluate the scoring with close friends to make the table as comprehensive and rational as possible. Love can solve many problems, but love is two-sided. If you ultimately stay in a marriage because of love, observe whether your partner will also reciprocate the same love. Only two-way love can stimulate energy and is the driving force to change the current situation. (For the first situation) Improve yourself to gain the courage to have more choices. (For the second situation) When you hesitate, it means that you cannot make a choice because you do not want to bear the risk. At this time, no matter how much you think, you cannot find an answer. My advice at this time is, instead of using this useless thinking time, make the most effort to actively change yourself (improve your abilities, like in point 3), and change the current situation of the marriage (use the remaining love to repair the problems in the marriage). In the end, whether to leave or not, the answer will definitely be clear. Maybe you will be skeptical about point 4: I am the only one making an effort, what about my husband? Yes, you can only change yourself. In the process of your own change, in the process of making efforts for your family and marriage, your husband also needs to realize this and make changes. If he doesn't change, then after you make changes (become better and better), divorce is inevitable, and that person will leave your world. Of course, not everyone will make changes. You may also stay in the first half of point 4, that is, hesitate to make a choice because you don't want to bear the risk, and then spend your life. How to choose depends on you, keep it up.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader. After being married for five years, there has been no sexual intimacy between the couple. On one hand, the reader is afraid of the first time, and on the other hand, there are issues with the spouse. Both parties have a certain responsibility, so why not try to communicate about it? [Pressure from the in-laws] \"The in-laws are eager for a grandchild and want the reader to undergo in-vitro fertilization. On one hand, the doctor says there is no major health problem and advises against it, but on the other hand, in-vitro fertilization can still be harmful to the body. Moreover, the husband is not a very caring man.\" From a self-cognitive perspective, the reader can analyze their current situation and explain the reasons for not seeing a future. The in-laws' thoughts cannot represent everything. The reader needs to consider whether they want a child and if they are ready. Having a child is a major lifelong decision for women. Many families consider it a given, but I believe it should be discussed together. However, having a child comes with responsibility and increased stress, with more attention focused on the child. The reader must think carefully about it. If the reader is ready to have a child, they need to learn about sexual health and bravely face the situation instead of avoiding it out of fear. [The husband does not love you enough] The husband is not treating the reader well, getting into arguments over trivial matters, which is hard to imagine. In the five years, the reader has suffered many grievances. The husband has limited abilities and you cannot see the future, and perhaps the current life is not what the reader desires. As a woman, my advice is that we must learn to love ourselves and give ourselves a sense of security. It is natural to seek comfort and warmth from our husbands and gradually transform love into familial love. However, this should not encompass our entire lives. Do not restrict yourself due to family obligations. You can also pursue activities you enjoy and become the person you want to be. As for divorce, I hope you make a choice that aligns with your heart and have no regrets. Do not insist, and even more so, do not compromise. Finally, I wish the reader all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#My husband's family lives in a remote rural area with traditional values. My father-in-law is a very stern person, and I don't like living with them. However, my husband's financial capabilities are limited, and we can't afford to buy a house for now. I can't see a future. ##Every time we have a serious fight (even physical), my husband threatens divorce. #Now, my in-laws are eager to have grandchildren and constantly encourage us to do IVF. I'm not very keen on it. #We haven't been able to have a normal marital life. \n\n#I rearranged your language. Can I understand it this way? You have the option to get a divorce. But do you have a direction? Are you hesitating because you don't have a direction after divorce? Assuming you want to choose divorce but just don't have a direction. Let me help you imagine. If you and your husband don't have any assets, then divorcing means starting from scratch. The basic prerequisite or urgent problem to solve for divorce is income and accumulating some savings, so you can have the confidence to start a new life. You need to choose the city you want to go to and the type of work you can do. If you plan to stay in your current city, then you need to start looking for work. Start collecting this information in your daily life. If your finances are tight, you can start with a job that offers room and board and accumulate savings for a year. After that, you'll have more options. Understand the divorce process and the way assets are divided clearly, so you can make preparations in advance and implement your plan. As for remarriage, in today's society there is a gender imbalance, so as a woman, having a divorce experience does not affect your choice to remarry or just find a life partner. Single women are still considered scarce resources, and if you have strong economic capabilities, you have an advantage in choosing a partner. Assuming your husband divorces you, based on the description you provided, the cost of remarriage for him will be very high, with few options and a low success rate. He may not have realized this, which is why he is behaving so stubbornly and threatening divorce. You can choose not to divorce and continue observing this family and looking for areas of improvement. At the same time, prepare for divorce based on the hypothetical scenario I mentioned above. This way, you have control and can make choices based on your situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. The couple has no sexual life, and the husband is not treating you well either. 2. They often argue and even get physical, and the husband sometimes threatens divorce. 3. There is no money, so you have to live with the traditional in-laws. It seems that any of these situations would be quite agonizing. Please think about what has kept you going in this marriage for five years? What can you gain from this marriage? What is the most challenging aspect for you? It seems like the in-laws pressuring you to have a test tube baby is a significant event that makes you contemplate divorce. Your two reasons for not wanting a test tube baby seem quite valid, but they can't convince your in-laws. It's understandable that older people are eager for grandchildren, but it shouldn't be ignored that many elderly people see having children as a way to control their daughters-in-law. Children can make a happy marriage even happier, but they cannot save an unhappy marriage. If you can't improve your marital relationship, even if you have a child through medical means, you won't be able to provide the child with a good life, and it will only make you more exhausted. Whether you choose to continue this marriage or not, it is necessary for you to clearly understand what you want and find ways to achieve the life you desire.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can sense your confusion and pain. It's not easy to live in such a marriage. Maintaining a sexless marriage is very difficult, and it needs to be compensated for in other ways: more intimacy in daily life, such as holding hands while walking, hugging at home, relying on each other... Choosing common interests, cultivating common interests between spouses can increase their feelings for each other... Communicate with each other and seek medical help. Generally speaking, harmonious \"sexual\" relationships are very important in a marriage. I suggest you and your husband find a competent doctor to regulate your bodies, cooperate with marital counseling, and improve the quality of your sex life. Sit down and have a good talk to solve this problem. After all, you once loved each other, even if you separate in the future, helping each other cure the disease is also a bond of marriage. You said \"your husband can find a way to relieve his desires,\" so what are your sexual needs? Are they being met? Regarding test-tube babies, it is becoming more common. As for the extent of harm to women's bodies, you can consult a professional doctor. The harm to the body can be endured, just like the dilemma you're struggling with: Do I love him that much? Do I want to spend my life with him? I agree with your point: a harmonious and happy marriage is a reserve of strength for the healthy development of children; it is necessary to adjust the marriage harmoniously before having children. As for fighting, you can explore. Most couples argue, and it escalates to both parties resorting to violence. Is it the result of being emotionally triggered by something, or the accumulation of emotions? If it is the accumulation of emotions, what is it related to that is not being resolved? I hope this is helpful to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, whether to get divorced or not is a decision only you can make, just like only you know if a pair of shoes fits and is comfortable. We can provide some responses based on your description. 1. If you've been unable to have a married life for five years and your husband doesn't have any health issues, then what is the reason for this? Find the reason and deal with it positively. If your husband is unwilling to cooperate, then you need to consider if this marriage is suitable for you. 2. \"Quarreling with your husband over trivial matters and even mentioning divorce every now and then.\" How old is your husband and is he emotionally mature? What is his perspective on this marriage, and how did you two enter into it in the first place? Have you planned for the future of this marriage? 3. Family is very important for a child's growth, including the atmosphere at home, the relationship between husband and wife, and the overall environment. So, when there are conflicts or adjustments in the early stages of marriage, see how you handle them and if you can handle them well before making a decision to welcome a new life. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Based on the description provided by the poster, it seems like the poster already has an answer in their mind, but they still decided to ask the question. What is the poster seeking by asking this question? I can't remember where I read or heard it, but some people have discussed from a psychological perspective whether there can be a marriage without sex but with love, and whether such a marriage can last or if it can be considered a true marriage. The conclusion is not optimistic, because sex is not only a basic physiological need for humans, it is also the most fundamental and only way for natural organisms to reproduce and survive (to pass on their genes and offspring). It seems that there is no species in nature that is not willing to propagate and perpetuate its existence from generation to generation, becoming stronger and stronger. Therefore, to some extent, a marriage without love but with sex might potentially last longer than a marriage with love but without sex. Personally, I don't think whether to divorce or not is currently the most pressing issue for you. What you need to think about and face right now is perhaps why you are particularly afraid of sexual intimacy. Once you resolve this issue, everything may fall into place. \"Having arguments with your husband over trivial matters every few days, even resorting to physical violence\" can be seen from a psychodynamic perspective as another form of expression related to sexual intimacy. A marriage without sex is a psychological torment and torture for both your husband and you. By asking this question, it shows that you have already taken the courage to take the first step. Be even braver, face and resolve this issue! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6776
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling easily trampled upon by others makes me very sad, how can I improve my self-esteem?",
        "description": "Recently, I've been constantly reminded of my first job. At that time, I lived and ate together with the boss's wife. She was a Buddhist and a vegetarian, and often advised me to become a vegetarian and believe in Buddhism. I didn't dare to refuse her. We used the same skincare products, shampoo, and shower gel, all placed on the left and right sides of the washbasin. Due to financial difficulties, I would only use a little each time, so a bottle could last me a long time. Many times, she would intentionally or unintentionally suspect me of stealing her things, asking why her things were being used up so quickly while mine lasted so long. I didn't dare to offend her too much, so even though I denied it, she seemed to take it as an admission that I had indeed stolen from her. In reality, she had forgotten that she never hesitated to use her things and often invited her friends and mother to come and stay, and they all used her things. How could her things not be used up quickly? Every time I think about this past experience, I feel that I have such low self-esteem and feel so stifled. Since then, I have been studying psychology and thinking about how to improve my self-esteem and self-love, so that I won't easily let others trample on my self-esteem. That feeling of being easily trampled upon by others makes me very sad.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, expressing emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug to the original poster. It really doesn't feel good to be suspected and wrongly accused. You didn't dare refuse the boss lady's request; she suspected and falsely accused you of stealing things, and you denied it, but it made her assume her suspicion. You felt unjust and unhappy inside, but you didn't, or rather, you didn't dare express it clearly to her. This happened in your first job when you just entered society, you were relatively young, and didn't know how to handle this kind of social relationship, didn't dare offend others, and didn't dare resist authority. This behavior is normal and also shows that you are sensitive and have a strong self-preservation instinct. Now you can reflect and be aware of the negative impact of this incident and your own behavior, and want to make changes and improvements, which is rare. This process is painful and difficult, but it is also a necessary step for you to change and improve yourself. The enhancement of self-esteem first requires recognizing your inner needs, improving self-confidence, having a firm will in your beliefs and pursuits; you need to have a correct understanding of yourself, see your strengths and advantages, and not neglect your weaknesses. Set goals for your own efforts in life, and then use your strengths and advantages one by one to achieve them, gain successful results, this process and the experience of success can strengthen your confidence and enhance your self-esteem. In addition to focusing on improving self-esteem, there is a need to pay attention to the issue of boundaries. You feel frustrated by the boss lady's behavior, not only because she falsely accused you, but also because she invaded your boundaries, making you feel uncomfortable, even disgusted and afraid. Whether it's family, friends, colleagues, or bosses, it is necessary to establish certain boundaries, maintain a certain social distance with others, maintain one's independence, not interfere with each other's lives and emotions, not overly intrude into others' lives or be intruded by others. If someone invades excessively, they should consider how to distance themselves in order to get out of this easily violated environment. This can also protect your self-esteem. The past is like a thorn stuck in your heart, always feeling uncomfortable, even painful. However, no matter how uncomfortable or regretful you are, the matter is already in the past. Excessive retrospection or getting trapped in it will only intensify your pain and regret, and cannot change the past facts. What you need to do is to quickly ignore the negative impact of this past event on you, focus on the present and the future, and make plans and take action for your own growth. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19432
       },
       {
        "question": "At 13 years old, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and I have always been alone.",
        "description": "Please, help me, I can't take it anymore. Who am I, really? Don't... don't! Go away! I hate this world!! Stay away! Stay away! I'm begging you! Give up on me!! Phew, I feel better now. It feels so much better to say it out loud. It's been weighing on my mind. Sometimes, I really want to scream, \"I want to kill myself, why won't you save me?!\" I've always been alone, talking to myself, eating alone, sleeping alone, playing on the computer alone, taking walks alone, wanting to jump off a building alone... Why haven't you come to save me? Am I not worth saving? Or did I do something wrong... Mother, why did you leave me all alone? Why did you fly away like a bird, never to return? I really miss you. Maybe if I wake up from this sleep, you'll come back. Maybe life is just a dream and you woke up before me. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to live, I don't want to do anything, I'm not interested in anything. Maybe I have depression? Well, that's okay. I can finally get some sleep alone. Goodnight, mother.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological crisis.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing words as if we are face to face, I hope these words can bring you a little warmth. Child - I hope this term does not offend you - I am glad to see you on this platform, which means you still have hope in life, hoping that someone can lend you a hand. And today is my first day here, this is my first answer. I happen to be 26 years old, twice your age. This is probably our fate - so you see, you are not alone, there is a stranger who saw you at a glance, chose you, you are not alone. Sometimes in life, there are too many things that we cannot understand. It doesn't mean that you are without fault, you are not necessarily loved. I can't just tell you through words that your mother loves you, but she may have her reasons. But I can tell you, \"The world is so big, there will always be someone who loves you.\" If you are in pain, do something else, don't immerse yourself in pain. Read a book, the world in the book is vast and boundless, it can warm you, or maybe make you more sad, but even the most tragic stories have a bit of warmth, the worst life can have a touch of light. Listen to music, it embodies the emotions of many people, whether sad or happy, you can always find a song that resonates with you. Go study - yes, go study, whether it is school subjects or things you love, if you can immerse yourself in learning, you will be completely focused and not think about other problems; it will also allow you to improve and slowly overcome the current difficulties. The road of life is still long, do not give up easily, and do not give up on life. This world is beautiful - I promise. I hope I can say good morning to you tomorrow.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, if you say it out loud, shout it out loud, you might feel a little better, able to take a quiet nap. So when you feel uncomfortable, just say it out loud, shout it out loud. It's okay to cry when you want to, you will feel a little lighter. You mentioned being diagnosed with a split emotional disorder, so have you been persistently seeing a doctor and following their treatment? Don't be afraid, actively cooperate with treatment, and you will gradually improve. At the beginning, when you shouted \"Don't come over,\" who were you shouting at? Another version of yourself? Later, when you mentioned \"Why aren't you being saved?\", were you talking to another version of yourself as well? Maybe you can tell these things to your family, to someone you trust around you, would that be better? Perhaps someone can help you. You miss your mother a lot, don't you? No matter where your mother has gone, I believe she wants you to live well, to live happily. So, for yourself and for your mother, actively cooperate with the doctor's treatment, believe in yourself, everything will get better and better. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you When you feel life is tough, think of those who are in even more difficult situations but still strive hard. They are not just fighting for themselves, but also for their families. Those children who continue to live on after losing their parents, those left-behind children who don't see their parents for a whole year and have to rely completely on themselves. The original intention of our parents bringing us into this world is for us to be healthy and happy. During our growth, families will go through many things, and parents are ordinary people who have to make choices and face uncontrollable situations. Are you thinking about \"death\" because you want to gain your mother's love through extreme means? It must be said that during childhood, parents are the most important reliance for children, and it is difficult for children to adjust when this close relationship suddenly breaks. At this moment, any words may seem weak and powerless. I hope you actively cooperate with the doctor's treatment and recover soon. Believe me, besides your parents, there are many people in this world who love you, and you are also worth being loved.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19616
       },
       {
        "question": "How to rescue yourself from habitual staying up late? I feel like I have no self-control, how can I adjust?",
        "description": "The bad habit of staying up late has been going on for many years. Sometimes, I feel sleepy around 7 or 10 pm, but I have to stay awake because I haven't finished some work. However, most of the time, I just don't want to sleep early and end up using my phone, unknowingly letting time pass by. I have tried to adjust my schedule before, like trying to turn off the lights at 11 pm for a month. Although I didn't fall asleep as soon as I lay down, I still managed to resist turning on the lights and using my phone. But later, due to some events, I stayed up late once or twice and started to relax, continuing the habit of staying up late. I feel like I have no self-control. How can I adjust myself better?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, smartphone addiction, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Firstly, let me give you a virtual hug. From your description, I can understand that: 1. You have a habit of staying up late playing with your phone. 2. You are aware that it's not good for your health, but despite multiple attempts, you lack self-control and cannot change this habit. [A little bit of analysis and advice] 1. Staying up late and constantly using your phone is a common problem among many young people nowadays. It starts with enjoying watching shows, reading novels, and playing games, and eventually becomes a habit. Even when there isn't much to do, you still stay up late browsing Weibo and other content on your phone. Many netizens also understand that this is not good, but find it difficult to improve. 2. It's difficult to resist the allure of smartphones without self-control. On one hand, all the settings on phone apps are designed to make people hold and use their phones for longer periods of time, creating a strong temptation for young people. On the other hand, you mentioned that you have already developed a habit of staying up late. So, perhaps you can consider seeking help from others or using certain apps. For example, after 11:30 PM, you can give your phone to someone else to keep for you, without allowing yourself to have it back under any circumstances. Alternatively, you can use timed locks or set your phone to automatically shut down at a certain time to control yourself. I hope this helps you, OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11734
       },
       {
        "question": "I was the victim of phone fraud this afternoon and I feel really upset. What should I do?",
        "description": "Today is June 25, 2020. It's Dragon Boat Festival. At 15:00 in the afternoon, I fell victim to a telephone scam and lost 1600 RMB. This might not be a significant amount for most people, and even when I reported the case to the police, they said to me, \"Why are you crying? It's not a large sum of money.\" But I am still a student, with no other source of income other than my parents. My family is not well-off, and I can't even be considered comfortably off. That money was my scholarship and financial aid for this semester, which I worked hard to obtain. I always hesitated to spend it. I deeply regret falling for the scam so easily. Looking back, there were many red flags, but I still fell for it. Was I so naive and stupid? After reporting the case, I didn't want my family to worry, so during our dinner gathering, I pretended to be as usual and enjoyed the Dragon Boat Festival. However, after it ended, I was alone in my room, thinking about the scam today, and I felt really sad and upset. I couldn't control my tears. I really hate the scammers. I am truly heartbroken now. Normally, I am always optimistic and cheerful, but since that scam phone call this afternoon, I haven't been able to find happiness, even when watching my favorite anime. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, fragile tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "My friend, a psychology student, are you feeling more stable now? I don't know if my response is too late or too late, but I wanted to offer you a virtual pat on the back. Because when I was in my third year of college, I also experienced a telecommunications fraud, and at the time, the amount of money I was swindled out of was 3000 yuan. I wasn't able to recover it even after reporting it to the police, and I know the feeling of regret and self-blame. I really want to offer you some comfort. Because I am also an ordinary student, I understand the value of this money even more. As a student, 1600 yuan is indeed not as small as 16 yuan, and it has the added significance of coming from your scholarship. From a psychological perspective, it is normal for unpleasant things to happen and for people to experience negative emotions. It is normal for you to feel sad because it has happened to you. There is no need to force yourself to immediately feel happy. It's okay to give yourself some more time to feel down. This is your moment of sadness, and you can experience it fully. Then give yourself a hug and say, \"Hmm, this thing happened, and it's normal for me to feel sad. If it were someone else, they would feel sad too.\" You mentioned that you need to hold it together in front of your parents, eat well, and speak well. From these behaviors, it seems that I can see your small worries about your parents. Are you afraid of being blamed by them? If you feel afraid of being blamed, then don't tell them, it's okay. After weighing the options, deciding to face hardships alone is also a sign of maturity. If the financial loss from this incident is still within your manageable range, you have the right to choose to bear it yourself. Many adults also do the same. Oh, and about being deceived, no matter how many cases there are, it's not the same as experiencing it personally. Many people are knowledgeable about fraud cases, but it's always difficult to avoid falling for scams. The reason for this is that empathy is a difficult thing. Before being scammed, we cannot truly understand the professionalism and rigor of the scammers' words, nor can we truly experience the change in our state of mind when fraud occurs. Fraud groups usually work as a team, creating a tense atmosphere and challenging us in various ways. Our individual strength is easily conquered by fraud groups. However, after this experience, your \"immune system\" against fraud will be greatly improved. Congratulations, you have completed an experience of being scammed. I believe that after this small scam, your alertness will be higher. I think that if similar scams happen to you in the future, you will be more calm and composed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You may not believe it, but 12 years ago, I went to Shanghai to work and got scammed for 100 yuan. I discovered it right away, but I didn't dare to speak up because there were many men around, similar to thugs. At that time, my salary was 2000 yuan and rent was 500 yuan, so 100 yuan was a considerable expense for me. Moreover, I didn't dare to tell anyone for fear of being laughed at, as it was my greed that caused it. That afternoon, I returned to the rented house, filled with regret, fear, worry, anger, and sadness. I couldn't calm down from these various emotions. But today, with a monthly salary of 8000 yuan, that incident is already in the past. I can truly understand your feelings, as I deeply regret it and feel extremely sad. I feel so foolish, but since that incident, I have never been scammed again. Friends of mine were scammed for thousands of yuan due to brushing orders or other reasons, but not me, because I can never forget the pain I felt at that time. This lesson was bought with money, and it was truly worth it. What you need to do now is to take out your phone, watch a happy movie, distract yourself slowly, and don't keep thinking about this incident. I guarantee that you will feel better when you wake up tomorrow. In a year, you won't even feel anything. After ten years, you will realize that this lesson was worth buying.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good morning, classmate. This reminds me of a time between 2004 and 2005. Oh! It was more than ten years ago. I don't know if you are familiar with a communication device called \"xiaolingtong\". Although it wasn't expensive back then, I had only one when I graduated from college. I was facing difficulties in my job, no money, and no successful entrepreneurship. It was the most frustrating time of my life, but I couldn't talk to my parents about it and I had thousands of dollars in debt to repay. Looking back now, I realize that I am facing a similar situation, but the debt now is due to my studies. It has brought me a different kind of wealth though. Anyway, the point is that we can look at things from a different perspective. Going back to that time more than ten years ago, perhaps because I was young, I didn't think much of being in debt. I believed that as long as I worked hard, I would be able to repay it and start again. So I thought about how to earn income and find a job. At that time, the internet was not as developed as it is now, so we didn't have much communication. Through a newspaper, I found a job related to my field of study, accounting. In the specialized job section, I saw a company with good working hours, location, and salary, so I called the boss. I went for an interview, but back then I only had a few dollars in my pocket. I don't remember the exact amount, but it wasn't my money. It was borrowed from my best friend, who was still a university student at the time but doing part-time jobs. When I met the so-called boss, I had a feeling that something wasn't right, and I believe you may have experienced a similar intuition in your own situation. However, for some reason, we tend to ignore those intuitions and I don't know why. Maybe it's related to our desires. At that time, I was desperate for a job. The person claiming to be the boss said their phone was broken, out of battery, and asked to borrow my \"xiaolingtong\" to make a call. I told them my phone could only receive calls because I hadn't paid the bill. They said it was alright and just needed to make one call, then asked me to wait while they went to find someone. They never came back after using my phone. I vividly remember standing there like a fool for half an hour before I realized that I had probably been scammed. I went to the location mentioned in the newspaper, but there was no such company. And I wasn't the first one, and now I realize that I probably wasn't the last one either. Later, I reported it to the police, but even after more than ten years, there has been no result. Afterward, I got sick with anger and couldn't recover. Now, thinking back to that time, I feel really miserable and heartbreaking. But during that difficult time, I gained good friends. One of them cooked for me when I was bedridden and I even considered drinking porridge a luxury. She searched all the nearby restaurants near our rented apartment in the afternoon but didn't find any rice available. Eventually, she found a place that served rice and brought me a bowl of porridge and some food (we were living together at that time), and she also helped me with a large portion of the rent. Another friend gave me advice. At that time, I was doing carpet business for night markets. In the city I am in now, there is a famous night market where people take trendy photos. There was a spot there that didn't require fighting for space, so I could set up my stall there. I didn't have the money, but she lent me 200 yuan (she was already working at that time, making less than 800 yuan a month). I don't know where she got that money from. I set up my carpet stall right in front of her glasses store, and I remember it was from October until the following year's Spring Festival. I was selling my products in front of her store for the whole winter, and after closing, I left my items inside her shop. Her boss at that time was also a good person. At that time, I didn't have the \"xiaolingtong\" anymore, and I didn't have money to buy a new one. I knew her boyfriend had a spare phone, so I borrowed it. It didn't have a phone number, so she bought a new one for me and prepared a phone card. I used that phone for two years and returned it to her only after I had repaid all my debts. Actually, this may not directly answer your question but rather shed light on my own experience and finding healing through reexamining it. I also realize my current situation and that I can still strive like I did fifteen years ago because I am more capable now. The difficulties I encounter now are not a problem for me. Here are my suggestions for you: 1. Change your mindset. Just because we encounter such situations doesn't mean we cannot overcome them. It can actually serve as a reminder for us to face and solve problems. I saw that you reported it to the police (even though it didn't have a big impact), but at least I believe your self-protection awareness will be heightened in the future. 2. Move forward. This money is important to you because it represents recognition for your hard work. So think about how you obtained and lost the money and consider how you will handle financial matters in the future. I sense that you value money a lot, but you've overlooked your own abilities. 3. Share your feelings. Find someone you trust and confide in them about the whole experience. This kind of release can provide you with more insights and help you find peace within yourself regarding the situation. 4. Improve your self-protection awareness. Nowadays, with advanced communication technology, scammers are becoming more sophisticated. We can't prevent all of it, but you can search online for information on how to deal with these situations. Lastly, it's not the setbacks that are scary, but the lack of ability to solve problems after encountering difficulties. I hope you can face and resolve the challenges you currently face and emerge from them with a positive attitude. Thank you for your question, it made me confront my own past experience, and I see it as the beginning of change.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18619
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I deal with the recurring fantasies about sexual psychology issues that are driving me crazy?",
        "description": "I am a girl, in my twenties. When I was a child, I accidentally watched my parents' adult videos. At that time, I felt a mix of excitement and shame, and I even felt a bit addicted to the thrill. Once, when playing house with friends, I wanted to discreetly reenact certain actions, but I had to give up because my playmates objected. Because I was young back then, after a long time passed, I didn't feel anything about it anymore. I could play with friends normally and didn't think about it anymore. However, after starting middle school, my younger sister showed me a romance novel, and there was a small part that described a sexual encounter. It was like opening the door to a new world for me, I never knew books could also contain love and that kind of content. After that, I started reading online novels, mainly those with similar explicit scenes. I even searched for videos from TV dramas and movies with erotic content. Nowadays, I feel mentally exhausted every few days, fantasizing about being intimate with someone and even engaging in simple self-stimulation. But right now, I want to focus on my studies and not pursue romantic relationships. However, these recurring sexual fantasies are driving me crazy. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, sexual desire, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I can sense your confusion regarding the issue of \"sex\". From your description, I have summarized a few points: you have unintentionally been exposed to some scenarios related to \"sex\" in the past, which allowed you to experience the physical stimulation caused by \"sex\" at an early age. Now you feel troubled by frequent \"sexual fantasies\" and want to know if there is a way to resolve this distress. Based on your description, I would like to share my opinion: \"sex\" is a mechanism that exists in human instinctive survival. In certain contexts, our bodies generate impulses, which is a very normal phenomenon. \"Sex\" needs to objectively exist because, as members of a diverse species, humans also need to survive. In order for humans to survive normally, reproduction is necessary (human life is finite and humans also need to undergo evolution). Therefore, when our bodies generate impulses in special contexts, there is no need to be overly anxious. It is a survival mechanism that we, as members of life, must possess. We need to correctly understand the \"sexual impulses\" that occur from time to time. The frequent occurrence of \"sexual fantasies\" can indeed disrupt the order of our daily lives. We need to learn to recognize it properly and, when necessary, redirect or release it. 1\u20e3\ufe0f When \"sexual fantasies\" occur, we can divert their impact on our bodies through physical exercise. Physical exercise consumes energy and can also result in a healthier physical condition. After engaging in physical exercise, the impulses caused by \"sexual fantasies\" will decrease along with the energy consumption's influence on our bodies. 2\u20e3\ufe0f When necessary, we can learn to appropriately release the impulses caused by \"sexual fantasies\". This can be achieved through \"masturbation\" as a way to release that impulse. (If the frequency is controlled well, it can effectively reduce pressure and release the impulse). Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Sexual fantasies generally arise from unfulfilled sexual desires or delayed satisfaction. Our culture is inherently conservative, so many children are not allowed to talk about sex or ask questions related to sex, as it is considered \"shameful\". As a result, most children can only suppress their curiosity and dare not inquire further. However, as the saying goes, \"where there is oppression, there will be resistance.\" Analyzing the problem: 1. You are a woman in your 20s. When you were a child, you accidentally watched your parents' adult films and found them exciting but also slightly shameful. There was even a sense of addictive pleasure. One time, while playing house with friends, you wanted to discreetly reenact certain actions, but you gave up due to your playmate's opposition. (Playing house is a childhood game. This happens to be what Freud called the \"Oedipus complex\" stage, the first stage of sexual development in which children become curious about their opposite-sex parents and exhibit sexual reactions. However, they themselves do not know what it means. At this stage, parents need to provide proper guidance to children without blame or using words like \"shame\", slowly helping them understand that sex is a normal matter. They are just young.) 2. Because you were young at that time, you forgot about this matter after a long period of time. You could play normally with friends and no longer thought about it. (Childhood matters can be forgotten over time, but the feelings stay in the heart and may resurface in certain images or events.) 3. However, after starting middle school, your younger sister showed you a romance novel that included a few explicit descriptions, which opened a whole new world for you. You didn't know that such content could be written in books. (Middle school is the adolescence period, the second stage of development, when hormone levels are unstable. The scenes and settings described in novels trigger vague memories from your childhood, but what's most important is the \"feeling\" you mentioned. It attracted you, especially the mysterious aspect of the invisible words.) 4. After that, you started reading online literature, mainly focusing on novels that contained similar explicit scenes. You even searched for videos from erotic TV shows and movies. Now, you feel mentally drained every few days and fantasize about intimate moments with someone, occasionally engaging in masturbation. (I am a sex counselor and a sexual education counselor for adolescents. Many people think it's wrong to discuss sex, but if we don't talk about it, do children not want to understand? They have too many methods and ways, just like the Internet being so accessible now. Learning about sex through the Internet can easily lead to an incorrect understanding of sex, making many children believe they are mature and knowledgeable, when in reality, it accelerates their development prematurely. Because they didn't engage in sexual activities and enjoy sex or understand its meaning at the right age.) 5. However, you now want to prioritize your studies and don't want to pursue romantic relationships, but the constant urges from sexual fantasies are driving you crazy. What should you do? (It's great that you prioritize your studies. Sexual fantasies themselves are not a problem; just like everyone has fantasies, why is it suddenly not okay when it comes to sex? Perhaps what you need to think about is not the pain caused by the sexual fantasies, but the pain caused by not allowing yourself to have sexual fantasies. If you have the opportunity, we can communicate and delve into this matter.) Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you can find peace and resolution soon! If you have any concerns, feel free to message me!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I understand your feelings very well. Hugs to you~ Regarding sex education, most of us have limited exposure to it, so there are many misconceptions about sex. Having occasional sexual fantasies is not a big problem, so don't worry too much. Healthy sexual fantasies are perfectly normal. Sexual fantasies are not only for a few people; research shows that 98% of adults continuously have, or at least have had, some sexual fantasies. When you have sexual fantasies, there's no need to feel ashamed or think that you are the only one who thinks that way, or even blame yourself. \"Having some fantasies about sex is actually a normal human behavior, it can be seen as a manifestation of imagination, just that this imagination is about sex, or it can generate sexual arousal or desire for you.\" If you can control your sexual fantasies and they do not harm yourself or others, then you can relax. Your sexual fantasies are healthy and something that most people experience. Take care~",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, your curiosity and desire for sex are normal physiological and psychological phenomena, which are not problems in themselves and should not be overly concerned about. However, the shame and guilt that arise from this have had a significant impact on your normal life, which is the problem. The focus should be on why something that should be normal causes you intense shame and embarrassment. It's important to understand that people your age are naturally exposed to sexually related information and fantasies and masturbation are also normal phenomena. However, due to societal moral beliefs, human sexuality has been artificially mystified and made private, making it something that is not suitable for open discussion or exploration. As a result, most people are more discreet when it comes to sex and handle their sexual desires in a hidden manner, which easily leads to associating sex with shame. Your current problem is that you have magnified the sense of shame, causing internal conflicts and an inability to accept your own needs and behaviors, which in turn prevents you from integrating your physiological and psychological needs with your practical learning and daily life. Therefore, you need to try to treat sexual desires correctly: recognize that as an adult, the need for sexual love, the desire for the opposite sex, and the satisfaction of sexual desires are all normal and natural. There is no need to label them with moral condemnation. Once you have a correct understanding, the sense of secrecy and stimulation will decrease, gradually normalizing it, without falling into obsession. So as long as you develop a proper understanding and gradually diminish the influence of sexual desires on yourself, refrain from excessive masturbation, you will gradually integrate them with a normal academic and daily life, no longer being troubled by them.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. From the comprehensive feedback on your mental health issues, it seems that you feel ashamed or guilty about having sexual fantasies and engaging in masturbation. However, it is important to understand that sexual desires are natural instincts, just like the need for water. Occasionally having sexual thoughts or indulging in self-pleasure is normal and does not go against our inherent desires. The problem lies in our cognitive distortion, specifically, the evaluation mechanism of events, which affects our emotional state. If deep down you believe that a girl should not have sexual fantasies or engage in masturbation, then when you have these thoughts or masturbate, you will experience inner conflict, shame, and even self-denial. Who we should be and who we actually are are two completely different aspects. The former is the ideal self, while the latter is the real self. Accepting yourself and letting go of internal constraints will lead to inner liberation. Internally, we need to recognize that having sexual fantasies or engaging in masturbation is a normal expression for adults. Only when you think this way can you let go of the burden in your heart. Treat yourself well, as sex is pure. You don't need to feel conflicted or guilty about your sexual thoughts. Maintain a calm mind and accept, recognize, and embrace yourself. Cultivate new interests for yourself, plan your life well, and when desires are strong, you can reduce exposure to similar videos, cut down on alone time, engage in exhilarating exercise, or develop hobbies to enrich your life, as life is not only about sex. Let's encourage each other.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! You can feel the OP's inner suppression, anxiety, and conflict. It seems that the issue of \"sex\" has brought a lot of distress to the OP. These pressures have become unbearable for the OP's heart. When the OP was young, they accidentally saw their parents' adult videos. As a child, they didn't understand what it was and couldn't comprehend the content of the videos. They didn't know what their parents were doing. They just instinctively felt that being naked in front of the opposite sex was \"embarrassing\" and \"shameful.\" At the same time, the content of the videos stimulated the OP, especially the facial expressions and sounds made by the people in them, which gave the OP some pleasure. At this point, a new cognition indirectly formed in the OP's brain: feeling ashamed can lead to pleasure, so feeling ashamed equals pleasure. For the OP's conscious self, being naked and exposing their body to the opposite sex is embarrassing and shameful. They might be laughed at and looked down upon by others, and their conscious self needs to protect themselves, so they reject accepting themselves doing that. However, in adult sexual relationships, it is necessary to fulfill one's physiological needs by exposing the body and having intimate contact. These behaviors should take place in a relatively closed and private space, which is also a way to protect oneself. But for the subconscious self, taking off one's clothes is a \"liberation\" of their body. They no longer have to endure the sense of confinement brought by clothes and can freely have physical contact with others. This kind of contact is purely a connection and does not involve any sexual desire. It is the \"sexual\" contact of a minor. In other words, the issue that troubles the OP is that they have mixed adult sexual desires with the physical contact of a minor. They can't figure out whether they are seeking adult sexual satisfaction or satisfaction from the physical contact of a minor. They simply instinctively do it, such as the details mentioned by the OP when reading \"network novels\". This kind of physical contact can be said to be the demand of the OP's subconscious self, meaning that what they want is more physical contact. At the same time, as an adult, the OP also has physiological needs and needs to have intimate physical contact with the opposite sex. This kind of intimate contact overlaps and confuses with the physical intimate contact needed by the subconscious self, which makes the OP feel extremely \"ashamed\" of their needs. However, this \"shame\" in the OP's heart also reflects their negative perception of themselves, their thoughts are somewhat paranoid, and they have a pursuit of perfection. They can try to accept these troubles first, and be aware of the emotional feelings behind these troubles, what they want to achieve, write down these emotional feelings, and annotate the corresponding emotional projection objects behind them, release and relieve the pressure in their hearts. So that their needs can be fulfilled, and the troubles they bring to themselves can be reduced, allowing the OP to face studying and life with ease and naturalness.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answer can help you: \"Food and sex are both natural instincts of human beings. However, due to societal development and certain needs, sex has become a product of social gender roles, leading to a sense of secrecy and concealment. Sex is not a sin, and sexual fantasies are not a sin either. Love is not a sin, and making love should not be seen as a sin either. Why do people feel \"driven crazy\" because of sexual fantasies? It is because sex violates the taboos deeply ingrained in traditional culture. However, just like eating, sex is a basic human need and desire. Seeking something you cannot openly pursue creates both conflict and joy - it is a \"forbidden\" pleasure. Looking at the history of sexual development, the \"stigmatization\" of sex has always been a part of human progress, particularly evident in patriarchal societies. This can be summed up as the \"sexual stigma syndrome\" (Fang Gang). For example: the belief that sex is dirty, that sexual organs are dirty, that sexual behavior is dirty, that all words and actions associated with sex are bad, that menstruation is bad and dirty, that only virgins are pure and non-virgins are impure... By adjusting our sexual beliefs, we no longer need to fear sexual fantasies. Without fear, we can even enjoy the feeling of sexual fantasies and no longer feel the \"driven crazy\" sensation. Perhaps we won't even crave sexual fantasies as much. Then we can address our love problems and focus on our studies. Wishing you the best and I suggest seeking specialized counseling for psychological development (such as sexual psychology). I'm here and the world loves you.\"",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, first of all, here's a big hug for you~ The main problem you are facing now is that you need to focus on your studies and don't want to have a romantic relationship, but you feel confused by frequent sexual fantasies. \u25c6 Embarrassment \u25c6 Fantasizing When you were young, you accidentally watched your parents' adult movies, and at that time, you found it exciting but also felt slightly ashamed. It seemed to give you a kind of addictive pleasure. Since few of us had the opportunity to receive comprehensive sex education when we were young and were still in a stage of innocence and curiosity regarding the topic of \"sex\", it's understandable that you had thoughts about watching adult movies. When you were in middle school, your sister showed you a romance novel that included some explicit scenes. This was like opening the door to a new world: you didn't know that books could also contain love and that kind of content. After that, you started reading online novels, mainly those with explicit descriptions, and even searched for erotic videos from some TV shows and movies. Now, you feel mentally exhausted every few days and experience pleasurable sensations while fantasizing about being intimate with someone, even to the point of masturbating. During the period of middle school, your body was going through puberty and you started experiencing primal sexual impulses, so the phenomena you mentioned are quite normal. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, human needs can be categorized into five levels, from basic to higher-level needs: physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. In other words, once a person's basic needs like hunger, thirst, and elimination are satisfied, they start seeking higher-level needs for safety, social interaction, approval, and self-fulfillment. Sex belongs to one of the physiological needs; it is the most basic need. Therefore, when no one is around to answer your questions or relieve your confusion about sex, you resort to fantasy. This is also why sexual fantasies can impact your normal life. According to Freud's theory of psychoanalysis, he believed that sexual desire and its energy (libido) are inherent in all individuals, including infants, although their manifestations differ from adults. He suggested that during adolescence, sexual consciousness awakens, a fascination with the opposite sex emerges, and there is a fixed pattern of desire for union with them, which indicates the maturation of sexual psychology. Freud also believed that as individuals develop and age, there are significant differences in the expression of sexuality and libido. This can also explain your current situation. So, having sexual awareness and fantasies is actually quite normal. It might be due to the influence of social norms that sex is seen as such a prominent issue, but fundamentally, sex is no different from appetite or the urge to eliminate waste, and there is no standard for which one is higher or lower. Nuan Nuan thinks you can have some understanding of sex, grasp its essence, not overly concern yourself with it, and ensure that it doesn't harm your body. Maintaining sexual fantasies is a normal thing. If your attention is not focused on studying because of these fantasies, you can put down your phone and make detailed plans. Put the plan somewhere visible, and once you complete a task, cross it off and replace the urge for sex with a sense of satisfaction and achievement. Finally, Nuan Nuan wishes you success in your studies and a promising future.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, give me a hug. I feel like I see my past self in you. I believe there are thousands of girls who are just like us. From your description, I think there are a few areas in which you need to improve. First, have a positive attitude towards sexuality and face it directly. It is because of sex that humans reproduce and culture is passed down. Sexual desire is just like any other desires we have. As Confucius said, \"Food and sex are the primal desires.\" Don't treat it as something overly serious or shameful. We feel ashamed mainly because of the environment we grew up in and traditional education that taught us to be embarrassed about sex. Second, self-awareness. It's commendable that you are aware of and reflect on your past experiences. Many of our current habits and ways of thinking are influenced by our upbringing. Now that we understand how our past experiences have shaped us, we should detach ourselves from those experiences and let the past be the past. Since we now have needs and desires, what's wrong with admitting it? Let's first acknowledge it, then accept it, and finally find ways to improve. Third, balancing learning and sexual desires. We should first acknowledge that it's normal to have thoughts, fantasies, and even masturbate. Secondly, if we have these thoughts, then occasionally fulfill ourselves. Put effort into our studies, make progress, and occasionally reward ourselves. Read a book, masturbate, just be mindful of the frequency. It's okay to make ourselves happier occasionally, and when we are unhappy, we can console ourselves, vent a little, and distract ourselves. Loving oneself starts with being honest with oneself. Wishing you learn how to please yourself and accept your whole self with courage.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9664
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it that the ex is always so unforgettable? Is it because I haven't met someone I really like?",
        "description": "I like a boy, but it seems like he has not yet healed from the damage caused by his ex. However, he doesn't reject my contact with him, including my confession to him. He also says that the current situation is not suitable. So, is he really not over it yet, or is it just an excuse?",
        "keywords": "Love, single",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the brave confession from the questioner deserves praise, but I can also sense your confusion because we have had too much \"chicken soup for the soul.\" I believe you have also heard similar statements, such as exes being unforgettable because the current one is not good enough. In reality, it depends on the dynamics between the two individuals. Firstly, if he broke up with his ex, it means that they had reasons why they couldn't continue together. But because they loved each other, he needs time to heal his wounds, which also shows that he is a loyal and sentimental guy. Even if you can be together later, you cannot demand that he completely forget his ex, which is something we can't do. Secondly, he doesn't reject your contact, accepts your confession openly, and honestly tells you that he is not in the right state at the moment. The positive side is that he also has the attitude and intention to move on from the past, but the downside is that he hasn't moved on yet, so he can't promise to be with you immediately. The above is a brief analysis based on the description you provided. The specific reasons depend on the attitudes he shows when you spend time together. As a girl, while making efforts, don't be too fixated and don't let yourself get hurt. May everything be well! True love will prevail in the end.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 39,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 39,
            "end": 80,
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           },
           {
            "start": 80,
            "end": 182,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 182,
            "end": 267,
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           },
           {
            "start": 267,
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           },
           {
            "start": 310,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 332,
            "end": 345,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9886
       },
       {
        "question": "What should be done if a 17-year-old girl, who has a tendency towards violence, has already seriously harmed her family?",
        "description": "My mother used to say that I had a problem with my personality, but I never really realized it. However, I have, to some extent, known that I have a tendency towards violence. Today, I finally understand that I cannot let it continue to develop, especially because I have hurt my family members several times. I have been experiencing insomnia for a long time now. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, pathological personality, abnormal behavior.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I am not sure what you have been through, nor do I know the circumstances under which you are experiencing this. I suggest that you can go to a hospital for a comprehensive examination. Most larger tertiary hospitals have psychological departments where you can first check if it is due to physiological reasons, and then explore your own psychological reasons. If you find it difficult to regulate yourself, I recommend seeking a psychological counselor. I hope my answer can help you. I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It appears that you are somewhat worried about your inability to control your \"violent tendencies\". You are very anxious about this issue. Is there really a problem with violence? Would you like to describe in detail the situations where this issue arises? How do you feel when your mother says you have a personality problem? Do you feel hurt? And it seems that you also agree with your mother's remarks. I think behind \"violence\" lies an unfulfilled desire. Would you be willing to carefully consider what you hope to achieve through \"violence\"?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10625
       },
       {
        "question": "Can I use housework to supplement my husband's low income?",
        "description": "My husband is from out of town, and we live in a first-tier city. Both my husband and I are working class, and we didn't buy a house when we got married. Now we have a two-year-old son, and I am the one who covers most of the daily expenses. My husband owed 100,000 yuan after renting a house for a year, and his family helped to cover most of it. Now we are living in my parents' house. The monthly expenses for our son's nursery school are high, and my husband and I split the cost equally. He voluntarily helps with washing dishes and taking care of our child, which I think is acceptable. However, recently he mentioned wanting to buy a car, and I got a little angry because I would be the one paying for it. I initially wanted to buy one too, but him suggesting it made me upset. I told him that I am already covering most of the household expenses on my own. Utilities and groceries are small expenses, but there are also expenses for our child's early education. Over time, these small expenses add up. Can't you earn more? He said he hadn't thought about it, and now I don't know what to say. He asked if washing dishes after work every day and helping out weren't enough to make up for it. I'm a bit confused and would like to ask everyone how to deal with this.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, and after carefully reading your question description, I understand that your current dilemma is the troubles with your husband in family life. [The conflicts and misunderstandings may arise from different perspectives] From your question, I see that you are the main financial provider for the family, while your husband is more responsible for the household chores. From a time cost perspective, both of you have contributed equally to the family because you both spend the same amount of time working or busy with household tasks. However, this issue has caused conflicts because your husband believes that he has also worked and invested time, which is the time cost perspective. Your perspective, on the other hand, focuses more on the economic income and expenses. You feel that your husband does not contribute enough financially. Therefore, due to these different perspectives, there is a deviation in comparison. If we calculate everything in terms of economic costs, neither of you have time to do the housework, which means you need to hire someone to help. In that case, your husband's income can be supplemented by the cost of hiring help. This would be a reasonable calculation. [In the family, there should be more understanding and encouragement to maintain emotions] In the family, we often fall into invisible power struggles such as \"who contributes more.\" Especially traditional women are often considered to have little contribution to the family. However, in reality, doing housework and taking care of children are significant hidden expenses. Especially the companionship and care for children are priceless. Good parenting and companionship are very valuable for a child's growth. Therefore, the emotional connection between spouses is very precious, and any form of comparison only erodes the emotions between each other. There should be more understanding and less comparison and complaint. If possible, pay attention to your husband's abilities at work and encourage him to do work that he is good at earning money. Less complaining does not mean not saying anything, but rather presenting suggestions and discussing ideas in a way that considers the long-term perspective of the family, helping him brainstorm and strategize, rather than blaming and venting emotions. This will actually heat up your marital relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In your description, I noticed a sentence that says, \"Can you earn more money?\" He said he hadn't thought about it, and you were speechless. From this sentence, it is possible that my feeling is he hasn't understood his responsibility yet, or maybe in daily life, you have also shared some things, so he doesn't feel the pressure. In general, within a family, men may have more financial responsibilities, and it seems like the other person may not be as aware or as worried as you. If you want him to earn more money, you can make him spend more on daily expenses and see if it can motivate him to make more money. Instead of wanting to buy a car and using your money, which will also make you very tired. You would have to work harder. So you can let him take on more responsibilities as the head of the family. Also, he owes 100,000, which his family has helped him pay off. From this perspective, his family may also provide him with some support, so when you ask him if he can earn more money and he says he can't, it may be because he has the support behind him, and it is not known whether it has formed a dependency. Maybe some people really can't make money, and the money they make may not be as much as the woman's, but that does not mean it is impossible. It just means they have no advantage in this aspect. However, it requires the woman to put in more effort and bear more daily hardships. If they really can't earn that much money but haven't forgotten to do household chores, it is actually okay because some people may really not be good at making money. Another thing is that some things that a person didn't know before can be learned in certain emergencies. It's like a person who has nothing to eat and their stomach is growling. To avoid being hungry, they may go pick up things to eat, collect bottles and cardboard to sell. Certain abilities of a person need to be stimulated in certain situations.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your account, I would like to give my opinion. Both of you are now a family, already parents, and both are working-class. Your family's financial situation is not affluent, and sometimes you even struggle to make ends meet. You rely on support from your elderly family members, but it truly seems there is no other way. Housing, children's education, and even buying a car are all necessary. If you hope for your husband to earn more money, it may prove difficult since both of you are in the same workforce. You should understand his situation and ensure that the quality of life is not too poor. In such times, it is unnecessary to argue over who contributes more financially or who does more household chores. You are already one family, so each person should do their best and contribute what they can for the future of the family. As for whether or not to buy a car, it would be best for both of you to discuss it together. Whether you contribute the money or your husband does, as long as you live a good life, it shouldn't matter who pays. Furthermore, he does understand you and even takes the initiative to do household chores after work every day. This shows that he is also very willing to contribute to the family. He is just temporarily unable to do so financially, and it must be difficult for him mentally, with a lot of pressure. Give him some encouragement and support, and he will understand your concerns. There is nothing more important than a harmonious and happy family. Best wishes to you both.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, I have a general understanding of your current concerns. You mentioned that there are some differences between you and your spouse regarding finances. For example, he wants to buy a car, but you may feel that he doesn't fully appreciate the hard work you put into earning money. In an intimate relationship, apart from emotional commitment, day-to-day communication, especially regarding financial matters, can greatly affect the relationship. If not handled properly, these issues will keep resurfacing. You mentioned that both of you split expenses, but it's unclear in what aspect, such as living expenses or other aspects. I don't have a clear understanding of how your family's finances are managed. Since you have children and you both have no major problems between you, this is the premise. Now, let's discuss how to improve the situation together. When two people have a good relationship and can calm down, they can discuss future plans together. For example, if you feel that you're not earning enough money, maybe you can consider doing some part-time work or looking for opportunities on top of your stable job. Of course, this depends on the circumstances around you, and there's no need to force anything. Secondly, regarding your daily expenses, it's advisable to list down the family's expenses, such as education expenses, living expenses, rent, and other future plans like purchasing a house. In terms of savings, it would be best to divide the money into several portions, preferably pooling both of your incomes together and entrusting one person to manage the finances. For any major expenses, it's better to consult each other. This approach is beneficial for the stability of your relationship in the long run. The specifics of how to proceed need to be discussed between you and your spouse. Don't let money become a reason for conflicts or say things out of spite. All the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 140
       },
       {
        "question": "I cannot participate in the high school entrance examination. How should I face my future?",
        "description": "It's been less than a month since school started, and I haven't started reviewing yet. I have wasted two years of my education. I dropped out before due to depression, and now I don't even know if I can go to school or what grade I should be in. Last semester, I was supposed to start attending school and repeat a grade, but right before it started, they said I couldn't go and to wait for the next semester. And now I heard that because of my situation, I won't be able to take the entrance exam and will have to repeat another grade. The thing that bothers me the most is my extreme procrastination. Sometimes I even put off brushing my teeth and washing my face until the afternoon or simply skip it altogether. If I do shower, I procrastinate until daytime. As for my education, year after year has been wasted by me. I tried making a plan to overcome procrastination, but because of my unstable condition, I can't seem to settle down. I have been staring at the paper for two days without being able to write anything. Now even the plan itself has been put off until today, and I truly don't know how to start my future.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, first of all, give you a hug, it is said that hugs can give people strength, I hope you can feel this strength and then improve procrastination. Yes, it is to improve procrastination, not to conquer it. You should know that procrastination is something that everyone experiences. It is possible to have procrastination emotions in every task. This is a difficult problem to cure, so we can only improve this procrastination habit while still procrastinating. So, OP, don't feel discouraged. You are able to seek help now, which shows that you have the mindset to change. There is a theory that a person's decision to do something is influenced by internal motivation and external factors, with internal motivation being the most important factor. And your desire to change is internal motivation. Maintain this motivation and start with small things, such as deciding to brush your teeth when you wake up in the morning, or to take a shower when it gets dark in the evening. I believe that after you do these small things, you will gain some insights on how to resolve your situation. When I saw that you decided to write a plan, I wanted to share my experience with you. Today is a rare weekend, and I wanted to make the most of this time to do more things. I made plans for the morning and afternoon, and the schedule was very tight. I did have a lot of motivation in the morning, but in the afternoon, I just didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't do any of the planned tasks for the afternoon. At that moment, I understood that when making plans, it is important to set aside time for rest. Only by balancing work and rest can we accomplish more. I also recommend that you take a look at the book \"The Psychology of Procrastination\". It provides a detailed insight into the emotions of procrastination and is very enlightening. You mentioned not knowing if you will be able to attend school because of the uncertain situation and the inability to settle down. These are external factors that are difficult to control. It might be better for you to focus on the present. Look up the curriculum outline for middle school subjects online and start reviewing. This way, when the day comes to find a good school, you can calmly catch up with the learning progress. I don't know if your depression has improved. You must face it positively and work towards healing it. In the movie \"3 Idiots\", there is a line that says, \"Everything will be fine.\" OP, you should also believe that everything will be fine. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14082
       },
       {
        "question": "After entering college, my emotions have been fluctuating greatly, especially in terms of daily life. What is wrong with me?",
        "description": "I am a sensitive and fragile person. Now I am in college. Before college, when I interacted with classmates or people of the same age, although I would feel sad because of their actions, there wasn't anything that I couldn't bear. In college, at the beginning of the dormitory, there were eight people. I would think about finding someone I felt was relatively good to be friends with for a long time. We would get angry with each other sometimes, but arguing is normal. There isn't a perfect match. I also know that many times, the things I care about, others don't feel. Every time, the point that makes me sad is when she clearly knows what I care about, but sometimes she still does it, and when I'm upset and silent, she tells others that it's okay, give it some time and she'll be fine. When I'm feeling down, I want to go out and relax, so I asked another friend who went to the same school if she can come out and accompany me, after making sure she doesn't have anything else to do. I was really sad at that time, crying and texting while walking, but she refused. She said maybe tomorrow, but I didn't say anything after that. It was clear that she said we were the closest, but it's difficult. I tried to not care about anything, but later I realized that if you don't care, nobody will care about you. And I feel like if I don't care about anything, it's not me anymore, but I also don't want to not care about anything. Sigh.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader, sending you a virtual hug~ Based on your description, it seems that you have been experiencing sensitive and fragile emotions during your time in college. It's understandable that recent conflicts with friends have led to significant fluctuations in your mood. I empathize with your situation. From your description, it seems that there are certain concerns you have that others may not easily perceive. However, I believe that if you don't clearly communicate these concerns to your friends, they may simply forget about them. After all, in college, everyone is busy with their own priorities and concerns. It's important not to have excessively high expectations of ordinary friendships. I'm aware that your recent emotional sensitivity is a cause for concern. Sudden changes in personality and emotional stability in one's life require attention. If possible, you could consider seeking medical or psychological counseling to help you through this.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2940
       },
       {
        "question": "In college, being isolated by roommates, no matter how hard you try to improve the situation, it seems futile. What should I do when it hurts so much?",
        "description": "In college, I have been isolated by my roommate, experiencing various forms of neglect and emotional abuse. Despite my efforts, they continue to disregard me and isolate me, playing mind games with me. I am sincere to others, but I constantly get hurt. What should I do? I feel very uncomfortable and hurt in college. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, trauma therapy, counseling and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear OP, hello! From your words and between the lines, I can sense a lonely child seeking warmth in their own embrace. Allow me to give you a big hug. Facing isolation may be extremely difficult for you, dear OP, but remember, the beginning is always the hardest part. In college, within the confines of a small room, we encounter people from all walks of life, each with their own unique experiences. We cannot demand acceptance from others, but what can we do? We can improve ourselves and maintain our own integrity. The first step to overcoming isolation is to strengthen ourselves. College is a microcosm of society, and perhaps you haven't found like-minded friends in your dorm, but does that mean you won't meet others around the next corner? Try to find new friends, establish a new support system, and gain new strength from it. Friends may not be numerous but genuine friends are precious. We don't need friends all over the world; we just need to treat others with sincerity. Believe that in the future, you will still meet more people and selectively make friends with them, creating an even better connection. Looking for new interests doesn't mean your life is lacking. OP, you can start exploring new hobbies. Life is colorful because of the existence of various things. Through these new interests, vent your negative emotions and gain positive energy, using them to propel yourself further in the future.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
            "start": 51,
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            "start": 58,
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           {
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           {
            "start": 182,
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           {
            "start": 247,
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           {
            "start": 274,
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           {
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a comforting hug. The world is so big, you don't need to live to please your roommate, you need to live for yourself first. When I was in college, at first it was difficult for me to fit in with my college group, especially with my roommates, because we came from different cities, different educational backgrounds, and had different personalities. The first year of adjustment was very, very difficult. Everyone needs to restrain themselves and adapt to this group, try to be accepted by everyone, and work hard to become the popular person. But I found that this process consumes a lot of myself. It's like, in order to fit into the group, someone who never eats spicy food has to repeatedly eat spicy hot pot to please everyone. As a result, I ended up in the ICU with acute gastritis caused by the spiciness. I also had to stay up all night at an internet cafe with the group, not knowing what to talk about with strangers online for a whole night. But I still went, just to make everyone like me. It was too exhausting. So in the end, I broke free from the mistaken belief of pleasing the group and being popular. I focused on my studies, on finding a job early, on participating in club activities. I felt so much better. So your grievances and embarrassments are the same. Whose youth isn't confused? But youth is for exploring the world, for changing the world. Only then will this world have hope. If we focus on pleasing roommates every day, we still won't be liked by them. It's better to live brilliantly, to live youthfully. Perhaps your brilliance will attract like-minded companions to explore the world together. I recommend a book called \"Change, Starting from the Heart\" in hopes of helping you truly change your life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Isolated, cold violence, they just don't like to care about you! Be sincere and honest in dealing with people, can you observe the micro-expressions of everyone? We should not rush to please anyone or make friends with anyone, in the end, we still have to be our own friends. A group of people's revelry is always short-lived. Instead of worrying about why they are ignoring me, it's better to ask yourself from the bottom of your heart, why do you need their recognition and acceptance? There are so many people in college, why are you fixating on the people in your dormitory? Isn't the dormitory just a place to rest after class? Do you need so many people to accompany you while resting? Learn to be alone and you will receive extraordinary interpersonal relationships. Especially useful connections...",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8282
       },
       {
        "question": "A 24-year-old woman constantly feels like she has no worth and doubts if she has done things well enough.",
        "description": "For example, if I communicate with a colleague or supervisor about a task I completed at work and they read the message without responding, I will start to wonder if I did something wrong or if there was something I missed. If a supervisor asks me how I completed a task, I will start to question if I made a mistake somewhere, even though the supervisor may just be asking about my process without any intent to blame me.",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~Give the asker a comforting hug. I can understand the asker's feelings very well. They may be more sensitive to others' reactions and worried if their behavior is related to these reactions. When it comes to determining one's worth, we should not only rely on others' judgments but also rely on our own judgments. However, subjective judgments may contain errors, especially when it comes to others' judgments, which can easily lead to misunderstandings. We can try to understand others' reactions better by communicating directly with them to understand their true thoughts, rather than just guessing. We can start by asking trusted colleagues, family, and friends about their true intentions behind their words in these situations.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "start": 254,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9719
       },
       {
        "question": "Anxiety, unwilling to be ordinary but content with the current situation.",
        "description": "Hello expert! I'm 24 years old and already have three children. I found a son-in-law who came to our home. I live next to my mother's house, and my parents control a lot. I don't want them to control me, but they say I don't know what's good for me. They have always been involved in everything and don't let me worry about anything. I get irritated for no reason every day, even when looking at my children. I want to go out and live my own life, but I'm afraid my parents won't agree and I also feel reluctant to leave them. Seeing so many live streams on the internet, I really want to earn some money, but I never succeed, and I feel useless. The family doesn't feel like a home, and we have so many children. My husband works every day, but he never flushes the toilet when he gets home and he often throws cigarette butts everywhere. He also doesn't empty the footbath water and never closes the door when entering the house. It's been six years, and I talk about these things every day. He always says I nag too much, but why won't he listen? I'm tired of these days. Whenever I get angry, I feel useless. Enough is enough. I spend every day in anxiety. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see that you are anxious. There are advantages to finding a son-in-law or daughter-in-law from your own parents' home. Parents can help with household chores, take care of children, and children can take care of the elderly. Of course, like any other family, there will be conflicts, which is normal. \"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.\" There are no perfect relationships or individuals. Accepting yourself and others, understanding and respecting oneself and others, not demanding too much from oneself and others, and considering others' perspectives can all be good ways to alleviate anxiety. Think more about the positive aspects of your parents. When feelings of anger, dissatisfaction, or frustration arise, immediately become self-aware and use rational thinking to control yourself for five minutes before reacting, allowing time for buffering. Take deep breaths, exercise, do things you enjoy, practice mindfulness meditation, do yoga, read books, and don't let negative emotions control you. Yesterday's matters, past events, today's matters, current matters, tomorrow's matters, future matters, only focus on the present moment, today's matters. Don't dwell on the past, don't worry about the future. Focus on your own affairs, not others', not what God decides, only focus on your own matters. You cannot control others' affairs. Accept what you can't change and change what you can. The principle is that whoever is in pain is responsible for change. Change yourself, accept the current situation, or accept the responsibility to change the current situation. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22235
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a friend who has been good to me, but I am increasingly disinterested in him.",
        "description": "Ten years ago, I moved from the south to the north for work and life. Through my company's business, I met a male supplier. Even now, after getting married and having a child, we still maintain a good level of contact. I don't have many friends, so he is considered my best friend apart from my colleagues. Although he only has an elementary school education, he is very hardworking and has a good personality. We often chat on WeChat and sometimes go out for meals together. However, recently, during our conversations, I have noticed that he speaks in a crude and uncultivated manner. He often talks about topics that are more suitable for conversations between men. I feel like I am wasting my time when I have any communication with him beyond work-related matters. On the other hand, I look down on myself for being this way. I realize that I have lost many of my old friends because of my own actions, and now I am finding fault with the only one that's left. Since the beginning of the year, I have been avoiding going out to eat with him. It's not because I'm afraid of what others might say or gossip about me. I stand tall and I don't care about what others say about me. I just don't want to communicate with him anymore, but I'm also afraid that he might sense this. If he does, he might not want to hang out with me in the future either.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, friends, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug because the behavior and actions of an old friend are increasingly making you feel dissatisfied and disgusted. But you also feel that it's wrong to have such thoughts about an old friend, so you dare not go out and eat with them, for fear that they will notice your disdain. [A little analysis and advice] 1. It is normal for everyone to have expectations of their friends. OP hopes that their friend is someone with elegant speech and manners, which is a normal desire. However, the fact is that not everyone has the same social background and life experiences. OP has developed their own moral standards and the other person may still have a different way of handling interpersonal relationships. In other words, the crude conversations and behaviors that OP sees as impolite are not a lack of respect towards OP, but rather a reflection of the person's own social experiences. From this perspective, could we be a little more understanding and tolerant towards the friend as an old friend? 2. As for the issue of gradually losing other friends and only having this one left, OP themselves mentioned this in the title. Maybe you can carefully recall how you grew distant from your other friends? What were the reasons for no longer keeping in touch? If you can find the underlying reasons and expand your circle of friends, make new acquaintances, perhaps you will have a deeper understanding of interpersonal relationships and find more suitable ways to handle them.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19593
       },
       {
        "question": "I really want to give up, but I can't. Can you encourage me?",
        "description": "It's really tough to keep going every time, I really want to give up, but I can't.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, escape.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Love you, giving you a warm hug. Persistence may be the most difficult thing in the world. I have also cut my wrists and strangled myself with a rope until I had no strength, but I am still here, saying this to you. Whenever it becomes unbearable, find a random reason to at least hold on for a little longer, even if it's just for a second. For example, I still want to see if there will be a beautiful sunrise tomorrow morning, so hold on for one more night. I want to know if next week will be a minute happier than this week, just a little bit better, so hold on for one more week. As long as you have the slightest hesitation, don't hesitate, continue on your path. The worst outcome is only death, but being alive means being able to see more scenery, and contemplate the ever-changing world again. Since you know that you can't give up, why not be a little happier? Sadness and happiness are both parts of a day, and deep down in your heart, you already have the answer. I hope you can let go of your burdens, set clear goals, and embark on your journey filled with hope and determination. May these words help you find the strength within yourself, and know that the world and I love you. These were words someone else said to me, and now I pass them on to you. May you be worry-free.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "start": 27,
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           },
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            "start": 304,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11271
       },
       {
        "question": "College graduate, recently said she wants to go out and have fun. Is she joking or serious?",
        "description": "Recently, my girlfriend has been hearing a lot of news about scumbags, and she suddenly asked whether she should go out and have casual sex or seek financial support while she's still young. I jokingly said, \"Sure, go ahead,\" but I don't know if she was joking or being serious.",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, sexual behavior",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Is it a joke or serious? If you want a definite answer, you have to ask the person directly. The fact that you, as the questioner, are asking this question probably means that you don't have much confidence in your girlfriend yet. Perhaps you are also holding back in front of your girlfriend. This statement from your girlfriend may be a test for you. You can discuss your respective opinions on current events, engage in mutual discussions, and seize the opportunity to further understand yourselves and each other. Don't be afraid of conflicts and contradictions, because it is through real clashes that people who truly love each other will get closer. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14698
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like I am doing well in my side job, but I don't want to work on my studies.",
        "description": "I feel like I'm doing well in my side job, but my academic progress seems to be not going smoothly. I keep procrastinating and don't feel like reading papers. I'm so frustrated. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the original poster mentioned that they are good at their side job but tend to procrastinate when it comes to their studies. I believe there must be a reason behind this. Perhaps the original poster is naturally good at and enjoys doing their side job, but not so much when it comes to their studies. If that's the case, the original poster can consider aligning their future development towards this aspect. However, in our lives, there are many things that we cannot do as we please. Even if we don't want to, we must force ourselves to do them. The original poster can create a plan for themselves, such as reading a certain number of papers every day. Little by little, studying each day is much better than staying stagnant. Start taking action now, and you will realize that everything is not as difficult as it seems. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13915
       },
       {
        "question": "Investment failure, now feeling suicidal, have insurance. Just wanted to ask how to arrange it.",
        "description": "I want to die. How should I plan for it? My investments have failed, and I am burdened with debts... I am left with no way out. I'm seeking everyone's advice.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is a common belief that investments carry risks and failure is common. Even successful individuals like Jack Ma and Liu Qiangdong faced numerous setbacks on their paths to success. The important thing is that they never gave up. While you mentioned being heavily in debt, I don't know the specific amount, but our lives are invaluable. Even if we measure it by money, have you considered how much wealth you could accumulate throughout your life if you don't give up and work hard? It may be a difficult road ahead, but it won't always be that way. The path will widen and become smoother as you continue. Eventually, you will be able to repay your debts and your life will improve, becoming more fulfilling. As for your mention of having insurance and how to arrange it, if I understand correctly, are you thinking of using your own life as collateral for the premium? However, if you have read the insurance policy, you should know that such a situation would not be covered. It is possible to end up losing both your life and your money, which is not truly worthwhile. I encourage you to work hard, earn money, clear your debts, and strive for a better future. Sending you a virtual hug. The world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We do have to pay the price for our actions, experience investment failures, and shoulder debts. But no one is forcing you to not live, it's you who can't tolerate the financial constraints of life right now! Some hardships must be faced, and death is only an escape. Only by staying alive can we solve problems. Under this pressure and hardship, your potential might be stimulated. The human brain is only developed 10% in a lifetime. As long as you can hold on and develop it by another 5%, perhaps you can create much more value than the debt. As the saying goes, there's a silver lining in every cloud.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19169
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I care too much about the opinions of my superior and colleagues and cannot be myself?",
        "description": "In a new job position, one may be concerned about the opinions and judgments of their superiors and colleagues. It's common to feel afraid to be oneself, fearing that others won't accept the real you or may dislike you. What should be done?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Arriving in a new place, even as a guest, one should be cautious and considerate, let alone in a new workplace where it is essential to become familiar with the environment. The atmosphere in each workplace differs, closely tied to the company culture and leadership style. Polite and thoughtful smiles, not rushing to take sides, and especially not rushing to assert oneself, gradually highlighting one's own qualities while adapting to the environment. After completing several tasks independently, one's own style will naturally become apparent to others. Many difficulties arise from disapproval and resistance. Acceptance can start with a smile and a nod, gradually trying to respond with \"okay\" and \"sure,\" making changes bit by bit.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand your feelings, sending you a hug~ The fear of not being accepted by others for who you truly are actually stems from your own inability to accept yourself. It is a projection, attributing your own thoughts onto others. Being concerned about others' opinions and not daring to be your authentic self is because you lack a sense of self-identity and harbor some insecurity. I'm not sure if something unfavorable has happened in the past that made you believe that your true self is not good enough. But regardless of what has happened, you should and need to slowly accept your true self. The past is in the past, and now you are welcoming a new job and a new life. Accepting yourself also includes accepting the aspects of yourself that you feel are not good enough, accepting your imperfections. In reality, no one can be perfect and flawless, so we are all equal, and we all should accept ourselves. Although your true self may have some shortcomings, at least it is genuine. And authenticity is power because people will see your sincerity. Accept yourself. Affirm yourself more and let your inner self become stronger. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5100
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do people treat other people's children kindly and gently, but are harsh and rough with their own children?",
        "description": "Why do people treat others' children with kindness and patience, but are rough and harsh with their own children? Where does their good mood go?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods, anxiety emotions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! #Why do we treat other people's children kindly, but are rough with our own children? Where does our good mood go? # Many people have this situation, but some people are not aware of the problem. You, on the other hand, have noticed your own shortcomings, which is commendable! As for your question, why does this happen? Let's analyze it from the following aspects: ----Being strict with oneself and kind to others is one of the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation and reflects a collective consciousness. This helps establish harmonious relationships with others. Therefore, treating other people's children with kindness and politeness is a sign of high cultivation. ----Similarly, due to the influence of Confucianism in Chinese culture, there is a deep-rooted belief that children are subordinate to their parents. Therefore, being rough with one's own children is seen as a form of self-discipline. Many parents believe that disciplining is equivalent to educating, so it is not surprising that they are not kind and polite to their own children. With the progress of society, people's perspectives have undergone tremendous changes. The idea that children are not the possessions of parents is increasingly recognized. Advocating positive appreciation in the process of child-rearing is becoming more accepted by everyone. [Appreciation education means learning to appreciate the strengths of children, encouraging and praising their excellent behaviors, instead of constantly criticizing their shortcomings in the hope of correcting them.] If you can apply this educational concept, you will be able to discover more of your child's strengths and give timely praise and encouragement, naturally leading to more kindness and politeness towards your child.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 975
       },
       {
        "question": "How to deal with issues such as sexuality, anxiety, fear, and being blackmailed with nude photos?",
        "description": "I'm 18 and in my final year of high school. Recently, I found a guy online and we started chatting. At first, we both liked each other and played some flirtatious games. But later on, I didn't like him anymore and I became disgusted with myself for engaging in that kind of behavior. I felt really gross and decided to break up with him. However, he couldn't get over me and wanted to meet up, but I rejected him. In order to make him give up, I started insulting him. He then said he was willing to break up with me, but he wanted me to accompany him for a month as a transition period. I had to help him three times a week and send him videos and pictures, or else he would threaten to show my naked photos to my friends and teachers. I feel really uncomfortable and disgusted. Lately, I've been feeling anxious about this situation, and combined with the pressure of studying, I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown. Can you please tell me what to do? Help me, please?????",
        "keywords": "Emotions, guilt and shame, emotional regulation, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the OP, encountering such a situation is indeed speechless, especially in dealing with such scoundrels, sometimes it is not possible to use more civilized methods. 1. Reporting to the police is not as effective as imagined. Although we say to look for the police when there is a problem, the other party has not taken any real action at the moment, and it is also across provinces. Therefore, because a threat is not likely to be filed just like that due to time and manpower costs. But we still need to keep relevant evidence for future use. Of course, we should not easily compromise, because if we agree this time, will the other party really let us go? The OP mentioned having an agreement with the other party, but can we expect a person who is not even afraid of going to jail to abide by it? I believe this is just the other party's delaying tactic. We agreed to some unreasonable demands from the other party and even sent video photos, isn't this another time walking into the lion's den? As for the so-called compensation, I believe it is just an excuse. Therefore, this time we must not compromise. First of all, we need to understand how much of our real information the other party knows and has. At the same time, we can also tell the other party: How much of the sexual chat online do you think is real information? In fact, what we told the other party before was all fake. You can send it if you want, but who would believe something that is unreal? 2. We need a reliable person. Although this matter is our privacy, and we don't want people around us to know about it, we cannot bear all the burden on ourselves because we may overlook something. Therefore, the best way is to find a relatively reliable person to discuss and solve any new developments together. We can also recall how much information the other party has from the previous records. Never send our own videos to the other party. As for our real information, we can confuse it a bit. For example, with the other party's information, we can search for it ourselves to see how much can be found. I believe the OP knows the difficulty of this. But we indeed need to be prepared for the matter of sending photos, such as how much real information the other party knows, who they will send it to, and we can also firmly deny it. After all, there are many things that can be synthesized online nowadays. If we don't compromise, at least we still have the chance to turn things around. If we compromise, then we really lose. The world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, young lady. It is sad to hear about your experience. Regarding the question you raised, I agree with the answer provided by the respondent Tianxin, who also listed many suggestions that you can refer to. Here are my thoughts on the matter, which may differ from your own, but remember that the choice is always in your hands: 1. You are the one who has been harmed, but it is not your fault. At 18 years old, during your senior year of high school, it is normal to be curious about sex. If it was done willingly and did not harm yourself or others, there is nothing wrong with exploring sexuality in certain ways. So, you need to know that it is not wrong or shameful to be curious or even to try certain things; what is wrong is when someone takes advantage of this curiosity and threatens or harms you. 2. Find a way to stop further harm. Now that he has your threatening material, if you go along with his plan and satisfy his demands during this transition period, there is a greater possibility that he will have more material in his possession, and the risks may be even greater after the so-called end. What has already happened cannot be changed, but efforts can be made to minimize the impact. Generally speaking, when someone talks about going to jail for years, it is often just a bluff. Moreover, he may have noticed that you do not want to involve the police. Someone who resorts to such methods to threaten others as soon as a breakup is mentioned probably just has empty promises and agreements. Whether his actions and the WeChat information you have can be used as evidence in a legal context, that is something you need to consult with professionals. This includes whether the evidence you currently have can determine if he is engaging in extortion through threats, and whether your agreement has legal enforceability. Let me also add this: even if the agreement is valid, can you be sure it will be enforced? Additionally, by the time you reach that stage, you will have already suffered significant harm. 3. Seek help from trustworthy individuals. When facing danger, people often want it to stop immediately, but sometimes the actions they take only prolong the harm and create more hidden dangers for the future. I believe in the goodness of human nature, but I also cannot ignore the evil that exists within it. In your situation, if I were to make the worst assumption, it would be that a month from now, he will have more material to threaten you with and will continue to harm you. This could include continuing your relationship, illegally distributing or selling material, and even more extreme behaviors. Although I am only making the most extreme assumption, I cannot deny that it is a possibility. Therefore, find the most trusted people around you and seek substantial help. This situation has undoubtedly affected your mental state, but currently, you are just internet acquaintances, without any substantial contact. Think about it: would it be worse if your family and friends knew about the harm after it has escalated, or would it be worse if they were unaware temporarily? 4. Increase your awareness of personal safety. If this issue can be resolved, in the future, you need to increase your awareness of personal safety. To put it bluntly, when it comes to privacy matters, you need to be cautious. Not everyone is a bad person, but it is important to be on guard. If it involves real-time sexual contact, you must take protective measures, and this applies at any time. Forgive me for being direct and serious in my words, but I rarely feel so indignant when responding to the questions of the original poster. When it involves minors or individuals who have just reached adulthood, I truly cannot remain calm. However, ultimately, the decision on what to do is in your hands. If you seek help from your family or other trusted individuals, it becomes a matter of communicating with them. I hope you have the opportunity to engage in dialogue with everyone on this level. I sincerely hope that you can soon overcome your troubles. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I can understand the current situation you are in, and it is understandable that anyone would feel a great deal of pressure. The current situation seems more like a \"coward's game,\" where his chips are your \"nude photos,\" and you seem to have no chips, completely passive. But that is not the case. To briefly introduce the legal aspects related to this matter: it is illegal to publish someone's photos on the internet or in the media without consent; publishing nude photos that harm someone's reputation can lead to criminal liability. Spreading nude photos extensively, such as on Weibo, forums to the public, or disseminating them to the person's family and friends, causing serious impact on the person's life, constitutes the crime of insult. Insult is a criminal self-prosecution case, and the victim can collect relevant evidence and file a criminal complaint with the court to pursue criminal liability for the infringer. In addition, spreading someone else's nude photos is a serious circumstance of insult, different from ordinary illegal acts, and falls under criminal cases. According to Article 246 of the Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China, if a person openly insults another person by violence or other means, or fabricates facts to slander others and the circumstances are severe, they shall be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment, criminal detention, control, or deprivation of political rights for up to three years. This is your first chip. It has just been mentioned that there is a \"coward's game\" between you two. Whoever is afraid first loses. Therefore, \"a resolute and tough attitude\" is your second chip. Also, it is very necessary to save your conversations, especially portions where he threatens you. When you take up the weapon of the law and show a resolute and tough attitude, your chances of winning are high, because at this point, his gains in this game are already negative. If he is not insane, then his only choice is to leave in frustration. Have a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#At first, we both really liked each other and played sexual games. #In the beginning, you both voluntarily played sexual games. #But later on, I didn't like him anymore and despised my previous self for engaging in that kind of behavior. I felt disgusted with myself and decided to break up with him. #You had your own reasons to end the relationship unilaterally. This is completely fine because you have the right to start and end a relationship voluntarily, regardless of your reasons. #However, he said he could break up with me but asked me to accompany him for a month of transition. I would have to help him three times a week and send him videos and photos, otherwise he would let my classmates and teachers see my nude photos. #Now, he refuses to end the relationship unilaterally and is threatening you with unlawful methods. This indicates that he either lacks awareness of the law or is willing to take risks to maintain the relationship. What you need to do now is seek help from the police. This is the safest option at the moment. You may be worried that after seeking help from the police, your family and teachers might find out. However, you can inform the police about your concerns, and they will do their best to protect your privacy. If there is no leak, your classmates and teachers should not find out. In this situation, I suggest you report to the police as soon as possible, end the relationship with this person, and focus on adjusting your state of mind to face your studies. Your exploration of sexuality is a normal expression at this stage. Our society has a relatively conservative attitude towards sexuality, and there are limited opportunities for exploration in most cases. After this incident, you can seek safer channels to learn about and explore sexuality in the future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your question, I can sense your anxiety and helplessness. Being blackmailed with explicit photos is indeed a challenging problem. However, have you ever considered that if you continue to comply with his demands for a month and send him videos, he might become even more unsatisfied and then continue to threaten you? If that's the case, you will feel even more upset. You can think about whether there are any timely methods to mitigate the situation, such as reporting to the police or seeking help. As for your disgust towards your past experiences, you can try to understand yourself, forgive and accept yourself. Adolescence is a stage of developing intimacy and also loneliness. During this period, you need love and companionship. In the past, you sought love by establishing intimate relationships. However, now that behavior disgusts you, which makes you feel that you've done something wrong and can't accept yourself. You can alleviate this sense of helplessness by building strong friendships and receiving support from friends. In addition, you need to engage in self-healing and accept your past experiences to gain a sense of self-identity. If you are unable to escape from the emotional gloom for a long time, it is recommended to seek psychological counseling from a reputable institution to ease your emotions and understand yourself. I hope my response can be helpful to you. Have a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, young lady! I'm sorry to hear about your situation, and I really sympathize with you! First of all, my personal advice would be to directly report this to the police and protect your rights! At the same time, find a good mental counselor to help you cope with this! There is always some reason behind everything, and there's no absolute right or wrong in any matter! Your previous addiction to online chatting is also a form of \"transference,\" indicating that you couldn't feel love in the real world and had to seek emotional support in the online world! This might be related to your family background! Let a professional mental counselor assist you with all of these!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see your situation and I'm really concerned about you. Throughout this whole incident, you are the victim and you should receive help. Please don't have any negative thoughts about yourself. I hope you can gather some strength and seek external support to face this together. It's important to accept and acknowledge your emotions. Believe that you won't be defeated by this matter and that the people around you will support you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5844
       },
       {
        "question": "I am always worried that something bad will happen, which makes me very anxious. What should I do?",
        "description": "I used to have some tendency to feel anxious and overthink things, but recently it has become more serious. I constantly live with various anxieties and it feels quite uncomfortable. Is there any way to get out of this state?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "How do we defeat anxiety? When facing anxiety, we should learn to accept that not everything is within our control, and we need to learn to accept it. Set a reasonable schedule for ourselves and not waste time on unnecessary things or on the anxiety itself. Focus on what we can do and do it well. Change our thinking pattern about anxiety and stop obsessing over it. There are many ways to cope that may appear when we are not actively seeking them. Choose some relaxing activities such as running, reading, traveling, or walking. Feel free to contact me for consultation if needed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14662
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does my wife never initiate sexual activity and refuse to share her feelings with me?",
        "description": "We have been married for 10 years, and my wife never initiates intimacy. It's always me who takes the lead, but most of the time, it feels like she is not interested and not responsive. I want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her, but even when I pour my heart out and express my feelings, she doesn't share her own thoughts and feelings with me! I love her very much!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, marriage management, and sexual life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! This description looks like a riddle, and the answers given by the respondents are mostly guesswork, so that's the problem. The troubles you are facing are clearly caused by communication problems. We often say that the key to communication lies in listening, not speaking, because if we \"don't understand\", we cannot have valuable conversations. \"We have been married for 10 years, and my wife never takes the initiative in intimate relationships. It's always me initiating, but the process often feels uninteresting and unresponsive.\" This problem may be caused by biological factors or psychological factors. In uncertain situations, let's assume it's caused by psychological factors. Intimacy is an important factor that affects the harmony of intimate relationships, so if there is disharmony in this aspect, the first consideration should be the level of intimacy between the two people. \"I want to talk to her, but even when I open my heart and share my innermost thoughts with her, she doesn't do the same with me! I love her so much!\" The factors that affect the level of intimacy between two people include individual psychological tendencies and the ability to fulfill each other's needs. Maslow divided human needs into five layers: physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. In theory, if one person can fulfill the other person's corresponding needs, the level of intimacy in this relationship will be high. In most marriages, people's requirements for their partners include physiological needs, safety needs, esteem needs, and social needs. Here, \"social needs\" specifically refers to whether communication is smooth. Generally speaking, this situation does not happen overnight. Usually, there is a gradual process. One important reason why two people go from sharing everything to having nothing to say is that one or both parties cannot accept each other's emotions. Emotions are often illogical, and any attempt to judge the reasonableness of emotions with values is meaningless. This is why people often say that \"reasoning does not work at home\", at least not on certain issues and at certain times. So, please recall what happened in these ten years. How did the situation of you being active and her passive come about? Did you become too active, forcing her to be passive, or was she always passive from the beginning, causing you to be active? Love can be an individual matter, but marriage is definitely a matter between two people. Don't \"guess blindly\" when any problems arise in marriage. Make sure to seek confirmation from the other person and do not be confrontational. Understanding the other person is not difficult, just have less judgment. I wish you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It's clear that you really hope to have a closer relationship with your wife! You haven't provided much information, so it's difficult to give specific advice. However, from your description, a few points can be seen: 1. Your 10-year marriage is relatively stable. Although the quality of your sex life is not high, you still have a normal sexual relationship, and your wife doesn't refuse. It's just that you can't accept the usual way and have higher expectations now. 2. You have very little understanding of your wife, and you may not be good at understanding others through non-verbal cues in daily life. Your wife's passive sexual behavior may have various physiological and psychological reasons. Maybe she has never had a good experience with sex, so she doesn't expect much from it. Women are more likely to engage in sexual activities when there is enough romantic time before sex, to feel fully cared for and loved. Even in situations where she doesn't feel good, she still chooses to satisfy your needs, possibly because she is unable to express her own requirements for sex due to her personality. You can evaluate whether you are doing enough in this regard. Another possibility is that your wife expresses her emotions and needs in a passive way, hoping that you can understand her but never feeling understood. She may even feel that expressing herself is useless, which has led to the problems you are currently facing. I suggest that you pay attention to your wife's daily needs and feelings in life, making her feel your support and understanding. This may help improve your relationship. I recommend a book to you called \"The Five Love Languages.\" I wish you smooth communication and emotional understanding.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello, your description is simple, but I can still feel you, hoping to deepen your connection with your wife and make your relationship more intimate. You mentioned that you have been married for ten years and your wife has never been proactive in the marital relationship. Actually, I am curious as well, what is the reason that makes you care about this issue now? What does being proactive mean to you? And how does your wife view proactive requests for sexual intimacy? Or you can also think about what sexual life means to you in your marriage. Everyone's family background, upbringing, and self-identity can influence how they perceive sex. Perhaps you can reflect on this to find some answers. The issue of sex is not just about techniques and methods, but also about how couples interact with each other. How do you view your wife's lack of initiative in the marital relationship? Would you communicate your thoughts and feelings to her? Does she talk about these topics with you? You mentioned that you have poured your heart out, but it seems like your wife hasn't responded in the same way. Perhaps you feel frustrated, hurt, and lonely because of her reaction. It seems like you have put in a lot of effort in this relationship, but it hasn't been heading in the direction you hoped for. Sex represents a person's courage, as it involves conveying one's values, aesthetics, upbringing, and inner desires and accepting one's own and others' bodies. This process brings joy and emotional connection, but also vulnerability and fragility. So how do you interpret your wife's unwillingness to talk about it? Do you think she is worried or afraid of something? Or does she feel disrespected? I see the efforts you have made to change the current situation and to confront conflicts in your relationship instead of avoiding them. It is clear that you are a responsible husband. These are my interpretations and I hope they can provide you with some help! I wish you the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The original question from the author seems tailor-made for me, and the respondent seems to have the same difficulties. Many efforts are now being made to achieve this small goal. Things didn't start out this way. When we first met, my wife was quite cooperative, and I was enthusiastic and our relationship was good. I enjoyed it endlessly. After having our first child, we didn't take enough precautions and had two accidents, which were not allowed under the national policy at that time, causing my wife to bear some extra guilt, and my welfare benefits were canceled. I guess these accidents deeply hurt her, and our marital relationship was also poor during those years, which further intensified her feelings. If I don't initiate, she probably won't let me touch her for a month because the children still sleep in separate rooms, and you can imagine my suffering. Back then, I was quite decadent. My wife was introduced to me and besides our family relationships, everything else was a mess. Maybe my wife looked down on me but had to be with me out of necessity. These are all my guesses. I hardly did any housework at home back then, and even when I did, my wife looked down on it. From pregnancy until our child was five or six years old, I hardly ever helped. My mother-in-law passed away before seeing her grandchildren, and my wife took care of everything at home. It may have seemed like she didn't harbor any resentment at that time, but she also felt that she couldn't rely on me and had to do everything herself, even if I did help, she still wouldn't appreciate it. So, I focused on work. There was a time when the emotional accumulation between us was severe. I was quite happy at work and looked forward to coming home, but as I approached the front door, my mood would start to sour. Back then, she didn't think highly of me, and I didn't think highly of her either, especially when it came to the children. I didn't pay much attention, but I always criticized her for spoiling the children and being unable to discipline them. Later, I insisted on having a second child. Of course, after having the second child, our situation didn't improve. Instead, it worsened to the point where we couldn't go on living like this. However, in my heart, I have always loved her very much and have made countless sacrifices for her. The problems mostly came from her, and you can imagine her reaction. Fortunately, things were halted before reaching a dangerous edge. Now, when I look back, everything that happened seems like a dream or a story happening to someone else. Although I know that many people would like to scold me, I can still calmly share these stories. It was in April last year when I completely woke up because of a TV series called \"All Is Well.\" I repented and bid farewell to the past. First, I completely changed my appearance and addressed the flaws I had, just like the characters in the story. Then I went online to improve myself and my relationships with family members. Later on, I enrolled in a class to study as a psychological counselor, and I passed the exam at the end of June. I was supported by a strong belief, and back then I almost didn't know what exhaustion meant. I only slept for three or four hours a day and studied. I also squeezed in time to study at work, while also improving my relationships with colleagues, classmates, and friends. I also learned to pick up new hobbies when I had the chance. I felt like there were endless experiences, and my learning efficiency was very high. After work, I would go home to make my wife and children happy, although mainly the children. Apart from knowing that divorce was not possible, our conflicts with my wife were even deeper. It took about three to four months before we started to have some relief. However, I am confident that everything will improve. At that time, I had no worries and was keen on pointing out flaws. My attitude was very firm because I wanted to improve my relationships. Now, although the relationship between my wife and children is getting better, my wife is still a pain in my heart. She has a quick temper and likes to throw tantrums, and both my children and I still suffer from it. I quickly let it go because the harm we caused to each other may be in the past, but it did exist. Even if she cannot change her habits immediately, we should be more understanding. After all, we all want a better life, so it's more urgent to communicate with the children and take care of their psychological needs. As for my wife, we will take it slowly. Now, our sex life is basically following the previous agreement and frequency. She still resists a lot, but I don't want to give up my welfare benefits because of it. So, we continue like this. Maybe what we can't have is the best, and it makes me want it even more. I will find ways to solve these issues in the future, and I hope experienced experts can give me some advice to help me live a more fulfilling and happy life. That's my story, and I hope it can be helpful to you. I wish you a more fulfilled and happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is difficult for us to speculate on others' thoughts. If the questioner wants to know his wife's true thoughts, it is best to communicate with her directly. Currently, it seems that the wife is very passive. Perhaps she originally did not have much desire to talk or be physically intimate. Perhaps she is a very traditional person who does not want to open up too much. Perhaps passion has been worn down in their long married life. Perhaps she no longer loves you, or it is possible that she is in a poor mental state and unable to experience pleasure. We have no way of knowing all of this. If you want to know the truth, you can only find out from your wife or seek help from marriage counseling. However, the fact that your wife has not refused your advances is a positive sign. Was your wife like this before? How did she behave during the honeymoon phase? Have you talked to her about your feelings? Maybe she thinks that after ten years of marriage, there is no need to be as passionate as when you were young. I suggest that you first express your psychological feelings to your wife without criticism or demands and see how she responds. Don't make her talk about her own thoughts, just share your feelings. Perhaps in this state, she may have a similar response. Try to find a middle ground that satisfies both of you, where you can both compromise or make more effort. Observe the things your wife enjoys doing, create small surprises for her, and let her relive the feeling of excitement. Marriage is not easy and requires effort from both parties. Consider the problem from the other person's perspective, as each person expresses love in different ways. Sometimes, what you want the other person to do may not necessarily be something they can do. However, if the other person can love you in their own way, with some compromise from both sides, you may still be able to achieve a happy marriage.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can understand that you want to understand your wife's heart and love her well. Influenced by traditional beliefs, Chinese people, especially women, have a deep sense of shame about sex. Many women are not lacking in desire, but they have learned from their families at a young age that sex is wrong. They are afraid that if they show initiative, their partner will think they are a bad woman. They don't know that sex is a normal need for human beings, just like sleeping and eating, nothing mysterious or special. It's possible that your wife has been influenced by these beliefs, so she feels ashamed to talk about sex with you. Don't worry, changing beliefs takes time, especially when it comes to attitudes towards sex. When you and your wife are relaxed together, you can gradually express your concerns and care, while telling her about your love and your wish for her satisfaction. I believe your wife will understand.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your description, after being married for 10 years, do you know what your wife's current thoughts are? What does she want? You mentioned that you love her very much and are willing to have deep conversations with her. However, her response seems ordinary and distant, not willing to open her heart. If you haven't figured out the underlying psychological motives behind this behavior, even if you appear to be trying hard, the effect might not be significant if she already has a rejecting attitude. I don't know what your partner's personality, interests, and hobbies are, so don't expect me to give you specific advice because I have no information. You only talked about the intimacy between the two of you, including the issues reflected in your sexual relationship, which is only superficial. If you want to truly understand each other in a deeper way, you may need to give up some of your current position. In our lives, when we want to get closer to others, we choose to adapt to their preferences. This behavior is sometimes reflected in psychological relationships. You might as well start by imitating his behaviors, body language, and expressions in your daily life. Delay a few seconds and don't completely copy them. Sometimes you can imitate, and sometimes you don't need to. In life, we often hear that a couple looks good together. In fact, it is a manifestation of both parties being assimilated. The aforementioned imitation is actually formed unconsciously. Only then will you become inseparable. The method seems simple, but if you truly implement it, the results will surprise even yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7153
       },
       {
        "question": "If someone dislikes dogs and abuses my dog, will they face consequences for mistreating the dog?",
        "description": "I used to take my small dog out for a walk. I came across an old lady who didn't like dogs. She tried to hit my dog, and I couldn't stand it, so I argued with her. Then she hit me and pretended to be injured, calling the police for an examination. I was panicked and ended up compensating her with money. But I feel really wronged in my heart. It still upsets me when I think about it. Was it wrong for me to protect my dog? Won't she face consequences for mistreating dogs?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, empathy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your question description, I can understand that your beloved dog was bullied by someone for no reason, and it was someone very difficult to deal with. Your anger at that moment must have been overwhelming, and you may have even had thoughts of wishing that person would disappear from the face of the earth. I myself am a dog lover (although there is a lot of criticism online towards dog lovers nowadays). When I was a child, my dog passed away and I was so heartbroken that I couldn't eat for a week. After spending a long time with dogs, I feel that dogs are like family, and sometimes I even think they understand emotions better than some people in real life. I have experienced the death of my dogs twice (once from old age and once from being hit by a car), and each time it deeply saddened me. It has been almost ten years since I last had a dog as a pet. If I were to experience my beloved dog being hurt, I would definitely feel a lot of anger. I often can't understand how someone could dislike such a cute animal. According to the analysis of data on juvenile delinquency in the United States, teenagers with tendencies of animal abuse often develop antisocial tendencies in adulthood. The perpetrators of multiple school shootings in America had a history of animal abuse. What kind of experiences lead these people to be so heartless? Research shows that the decrease in human crime rates does not have a corresponding data relationship with economic development and educational advancement. Instead, it is after the legalization of abortion that overall crime rates have improved. The reason is that many children with criminal tendencies were basically \"strangled in the cradle\". So why is this the case? Nowadays, we are gradually realizing the importance of family education. In the past, many people had children without planning, and before they were prepared, the children were already born. The parents' self-growth and the family itself seemed unprepared to welcome the children's arrival. Many parents' original families were harsh, violent, and lacked love. In educating their own children, due to the lack of corresponding continued learning, they usually continue to follow the incorrect concepts of their own families. Children should have grown up in a nurturing environment, but they become the psychotherapists of adults, accepting the psychological trauma of their parents. After all, children are children, and in the face of their parents' emotional outbursts, they often develop a defense of emotional isolation and even jealousy towards those who receive love, whether they are humans or animals. They believe that this is a world without love, and that suffering is the essence of life. So, you asked if those who harm small animals will face consequences? The answer is definitely yes, but the consequences here do not mean that they are caused by others, but rather an unconscious influence. People who lack love certainly experience problems in interpersonal relationships, especially intimate relationships, and various aspects of their lives are affected to varying degrees. I sympathize with those who have had unfortunate childhood experiences, but I do not agree with them treating this misfortune as something normal and imposing it on others. Let's keep our original intentions and journey back to where we belong. Along the path of growth, let's go together. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your description, I would speculate that if there is a way to seek justice or if someone can mediate and ensure justice, you might feel better. I wonder why someone cannot tolerate such a small dog, and it is right for me to protect my own dog. There must be reasons behind the actions of that elderly person, and we can try to understand, but we cannot support such behavior. I also wonder what kind of experiences led the elderly person to handle things this way and to harm others so recklessly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6902
       },
       {
        "question": "It's common for major and minor tasks to become a mess when there are too many goals. What should be done in this case?",
        "description": "There are multiple targets, and the importance of each one is often unclear and chaotic. How to handle each task corresponds to a method, but it is easy to get confused and forget.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and learning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a virtual hug. From your description, I understand that you are unclear about managing tasks of different sizes, which leads to difficulty in completing them effectively. \u3010A little advice\u3011By using the Eisenhower Matrix, you can effectively manage your tasks. If you categorize your tasks into four quadrants based on their urgency and importance, it will help you gain a deeper understanding of time and manage it effectively. The first quadrant includes urgent and important tasks. These tasks are time-sensitive and have significant impact. They cannot be avoided or postponed and need to be addressed as a priority. Examples include negotiating major projects or important meeting work. The second quadrant is different from the first. The events in this quadrant may not be urgent, but they have significant impact. They are of great importance for personal or business existence, development, and the establishment and maintenance of the surrounding environment. The third quadrant mainly consists of trivial matters. They are not time-sensitive nor important. Such events are purely time-wasting and life-squandering. Activities like daydreaming, browsing the internet, chatting, and aimlessly wandering around are typical for those who have nothing substantial to do. The fourth quadrant includes events that are urgent but not important. These tasks may seem urgent, but in reality, they are not important. Many people have a misconception and believe that urgent matters are always important. In fact, events like meaningless phone calls, conforming to others' expectations, or playing mahjong with three players are not important. However, since they are urgent, they often end up occupying people's precious time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16556
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel anxious and distressed all the time, constantly overthinking. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am constantly thinking about various questions, such as why am I me and whether the people around me truly exist. Many things lead me to endless questions.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, hypochondria, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! Hugs to you~ Based on your description, I can understand why you feel confused about your uncontrollable thoughts. It's actually a kind of philosophical pondering or even existential questioning. Perhaps these thoughts have caused you to feel anxious and in great distress. The contemplation of philosophical questions can sometimes lead to anxiety about life or even general psychological issues. If you feel that this has started to affect your daily life and work, you might consider seeking the support and guidance of a psychologist or counselor. If it doesn't feel that severe, you can also try talking to friends or family as a way of venting. Regarding the contemplation of philosophical questions, if you want to address these issues, you can explore the answers provided by the ancient philosophers. They might be able to help you solve some of the fundamental philosophical questions you have. In fact, even before we have any knowledge of philosophy, we often engage in contemplation about philosophical questions. And believe it or not, the gap between our own thoughts and those of philosophers is not as significant as one may think. Everyone can become their own philosopher and resolve certain existential ponderings. So, it's quite common for people to engage in philosophical thinking.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4276
       },
       {
        "question": "Do you feel unable to trust men because you haven't established a secure attachment relationship?",
        "description": "Around the age of nine, only a few families in the village had bought a television. After dinner, I would run to their houses to watch TV. One time, while watching \"Gangster Boss,\" there was a scene of murder. On the way home, I was particularly scared and ran quickly to my house. My mother looked at me with a disgusted look in her eyes, without saying a word. Even if she scolded or scolded me, I would still share my feelings with her. But she didn't say a word, and I felt that she didn't love me at all. She saw how scared I was, but didn't pay any attention to me. Now, whenever I think of that scene, I still want to cry. I can't understand her. I didn't feel a sense of security from the person closest to me. As I grew up, I don't trust men because I didn't establish a good attachment relationship, right?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, it seems quite simple and it is difficult to make useful inferences. Currently, all we can say is that the attachment relationship with your parents and not trusting men after growing up may not be closely related, or at least not the main factor. Furthermore, in terms of attachment relationships, they are formed at a very young age, and the form of these relationships is generally stable after the age of 3. Therefore, I think it is unlikely that the form of attachment relationships could be completely changed by a single incident that occurred at the age of 9. It is more likely that your family's parenting style has had an influence all along. As for not trusting men, it may be more complicated. Your family's parenting style, your mother's attitudes towards these matters and their influence on you, your relationship with your father, your parents' way of interacting and their relationship, as well as your own experiences in love and relationships, classmates, and friends, could all have an impact on you. To determine the exact cause would require a thorough analysis. If you feel that the issue of \"not trusting men\" has indeed caused emotional and life difficulties for you, it is advisable to seek psychological counseling, rather than making unfounded speculations on your own.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Whether it matters or not, because whether it is or not, you can choose whether the future you believes in men or not. (I think you also know that there will not only be bad people in the world, because you have started to think about this question) In any case, live a good life (at least to the extent of being able to buy the things you like), and then think about what kind of life you want to live in the remaining years. (No matter what, as long as you like it and have no regrets) Think about how many years you can live, ask yourself how to live the remaining time so that you can leave the world with no regrets. The answer lies within your heart.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12305
       },
       {
        "question": "My ex-boyfriend has openly revealed a new relationship, and their sweet interactions have struck me like a thunderbolt.",
        "description": "I am a girl who used to be very confident. It has been one year and eight months since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. Two years ago, during our relationship, he used \"PUA\" on me, often giving me a slap and then a sweet talk. At that time, I had no concept of PUA and was an ignorant and innocent girl. I only knew that I loved him very much, but I became increasingly self-doubting and sensitive in front of him. When we were about to get married, I discovered that he had cheated on me, lied to me countless times, and deceived me. Ignorantly, I foolishly tried to save the relationship. He said that as long as I gave him 700,000 RMB for home renovation, he would marry me. I struggled for half a month, washing my face with tears, and finally decided to sell my property under my name. However, just on the second day after selling the house, before I had a chance to tell him that I had the money, I received abusive and defamatory calls and WeChat messages from the other woman. I was so angry that my whole body trembled, but he didn't defend me. He even said that it was my own fault for attracting unsavory men. I completely broke down. My parents took me to a psychiatric hospital where I was diagnosed with severe depression. I underwent a year-long treatment for depression, and now I have stopped taking medication and my mindset has improved a lot. However, when I clicked on his Weibo just now, I discovered that he was showing off his new relationship, and his new girlfriend is very beautiful. Their sweet interaction struck me like a bolt from the blue. All the efforts I have made seem to have crumbled in an instant.",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, infidelity",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP.\u203b Boyfriend's new relationship exposed, intimate actions make you very sad. It's difficult to truly let go of someone you once loved, especially when you haven't completely moved on, and you see the intimate interactions between him and his new girlfriend. It's normal to feel upset. But have you ever thought that this girl might be you from the past? You only see their current happiness, but have you considered that they might be facing the same problems you once encountered? When it comes to marriage, the boy even asks you to give him 700,000 yuan before agreeing; when it comes to slander, he not only doesn't trust you but also suspects you. Are you sure this boy really loves you? In the past, you made concessions to please him, but he repeatedly hurt you. Young lady, you need to open your eyes and see what kind of man you have encountered. Is he worth your lifelong devotion? As the saying goes, \"The state of a person's character is difficult to change.\" Once someone's character is formed, it's hard to change. Even if this man gets married, he won't be faithful. You should be thankful that you discovered his true colors early on and didn't suffer more harm from him! So, you need to sort out your emotions, focus on psychological treatment, and quickly restore your physical and mental health, returning to a normal life! This is the greatest love you can give yourself! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If you are sure that you have been catfished, then you are lucky now. Besides the emotional manipulation you went through, your losses aren't huge. After all, he didn't get any money from you. In fact, another girl is about to find herself on the same path as you, and what you see now is what he once gave you. So, there's no need to envy. What you need now is to break free from the illusion of that manipulated love, find your confident self, and start anew.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12543
       },
       {
        "question": "Emotional problems, infidelity issues, does it mean he no longer wants to continue the relationship?",
        "description": "In June of this year, I discovered that my husband had used his credit card to give another woman 160,000 yuan. In the past year, he hasn't spent much money on me and has been sleeping with other women, not just one. When I asked my husband, he said he had never met her and it was all lies. But I don't believe him. They call each other \"husband\" and \"wife\" when they chat, and he even sent her money on Valentine's Day and bought her things online, like phones and watches. He insists he has never met her and hasn't done anything to betray me. Last year, when we bought a car, he even gave it to the other woman. Now he won't explain the situation with that woman. I got so angry that I went back to my parents' home. Before I found out, he used to care about me a lot, calling me every day. But after I discovered what he was doing, he stopped calling. He didn't even try to make it up to me. Later, using his WeChat account, I contacted the other woman, and she admitted they had met. She kept saying she would return the money to my husband. I told her that my husband is married and has a child, and she should return the money because she spent some of it. At first, she agreed to return it, but then she said she only found out my husband was married and now he won't return the money because it was voluntarily given. She blocked my husband and now I can only call him. But he rarely contacts me on his own. When I mention divorce, he won't agree. Does he not care about me anymore?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, infidelity, and marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Discovered that your husband has cheated, and expected the other person to confess and apologize, begging for forgiveness, and make amends for his mistakes through practical actions. You hoped that he would fear losing you, treat you well, take the initiative to care for you, and show doubled affection. Is that right? When one person in an intimate relationship cheats, the person who has been betrayed inevitably experiences some degree of pain. To determine whether you see your partner as a loved one or a tool, a small indicator is your initial reaction when you first found out about your husband's infidelity - did you feel sadness or anger? If anger was your primary and strongest feeling, it is likely that your husband has always been seen as a tool in your relationship. He can perceive that his emotional needs are not being met, which is why he sought fulfillment outside the relationship, causing your intense anger and frustration. In emotional counseling, it is often said that infidelity seems like a third-party problem, but upon careful observation, it is actually a problem within the relationship itself that leads to the involvement of a third-party external force (assuming your husband is not a playboy). When you have treated your partner as a tool for a long time, there is no true emotional connection between you. Your partner can feel it, and when his emotional needs are not met, he will search for channels outside the relationship to satisfy them. Therefore, it is even more important for the person in the relationship to first sit down and calmly reflect and examine. Where were the problems in your relationship? What communication issues did you have? Did you give him enough attention in the relationship? Did you emotionally blackmail him too much? What is your own emotional pattern like? If your partner were to return to the family, would you accept him without criticism? Do you understand your husband's emotional needs? Take the time to think carefully, use this experience to reflect on your intimate relationship, and both parties need to adjust and grow in order to rebuild a \"new\" intimate relationship. May you penetrate your own emotions, approach the situation with love and rationality, and consider the path ahead for both of you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17930
       },
       {
        "question": "Can a relationship that starts for the sake of love last long?",
        "description": "Sophomore year, female, in a dormitory with six people, and five of them are in relationships. Sometimes, when I am in the midst of them, I feel like I don't fit in. Every time they talk about relationship issues, they start sharing how they met their boyfriends and how sweet their relationships are. Every time this happens, I feel like I don't belong, and even feel a bit lonely. The other five people seem to be very eager to persuade me to get a boyfriend. In this situation, I have indeed had a relationship before, but there were no feelings involved. He pursued me, and I agreed to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. It seemed from the beginning that it wouldn't have a good outcome. I started feeling bored in the first week of being officially together and felt like it was a waste of time being with him. As a result, this relationship quickly ended. I returned to the state I was in at the beginning, living amidst my roommates' flaunting and happiness. Suddenly, I feel a bit confused. Is it really necessary to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one?",
        "keywords": "Love, being single, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Does the questioner's class only have six girls? If not, are the other girls in the dormitory all in relationships? If there are others who don't want to be in a relationship right now like the questioner, can they hang out together? In our class, we can't find any girls to hang out with. What about the girls from other majors in the neighboring dormitory? What about the girls from other colleges in the clubs? The university is an open and free place that provides enough space for every idea and behavior to flourish. If you want to be in a relationship, go ahead (of course, protect yourself). If you want to read, go to the library. If you want to take photos, write poetry, or dance, there are various clubs where you can find like-minded friends. Of course, if you don't want to be in a relationship, don't be. If you don't want to help a classmate pick up a package, just refuse directly... Only you know what you want. If classmates and friends offer advice out of concern, we should express gratitude and possibly consider it. If it's purely for showing off or even jealousy, just ignore it and laugh it off. There are so many interesting things waiting to be done. Where is the time to be bothered by these meaningless words? Love is beautiful, it's a romantic experience between two individuals with independent thoughts, who are attracted to each other. Whether it's love at first sight or feelings that develop over time, it's a genuine feeling from the hearts of the two people involved. It has nothing to do with a third person. Arrange your own life, do things you enjoy with compatible friends, and savor the wonderful time in college. Love could be just around the corner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! In college, I don't feel ashamed at all for not dating. Not dating means you haven't found the right person yet. Many people feel that dating is a respectable thing after entering college, so they have a yearning for love deep down. They always wish to find someone to share their joy with and spend the rest of their lives together. But we are not always so lucky. It's not possible for us to meet the most suitable person in a short time. So, many people date just for the sake of it, watching their friends one by one getting into relationships, they get anxious too. Thus, they end up being with someone they don't even like. Do you think this kind of love is meaningful? So, don't feel embarrassed for still being single. Believe that you deserve the best. If you haven't met the right person yet, don't rush. You can work on becoming stronger first. Believe that if you bloom as a butterfly, the right opposite sex will naturally be attracted to you. Then, won't you find a better partner? So, don't worry about these things. If a person can become stronger and find a better partner at the same time, they truly can be called a winner in life. So, just focus on your efforts. Don't be in a hurry if you haven't met anyone yet. They will eventually appear. Love doesn't tolerate hastiness. Hasty love is bound to be unhappy. You should first calm yourself down and become more knowledgeable. Don't pay attention to their mockery. They may seem to be lovey-dovey every day, but only they know if they are truly happy. They aren't so happy either.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21939
       },
       {
        "question": "Work has no meaning, resigned, but still feel empty?",
        "description": "I work in a railway company. This year, they implemented a selection process for employees and I got laid off. For the past six months, I have been earning a monthly salary of only 1600 RMB, which is not enough to sustain myself. Today, I resigned. Someone told me that I should hang on, but I feel hopeless as there is no job security and no future prospects. I don't know what to do now, and I feel lost and empty. I don't even know if I should find a new job. My loved ones are also unaware of my situation.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! Thank you for inviting me to answer. After reading your description, I have a certain understanding of the question you want to ask, so I give you a virtual hug. From your description, I can understand to some extent that you are currently filled with confusion about the future and unsure of what kind of job you will be able to handle. It is normal to feel confused at this stage because some things tend to come when you least expect them. Therefore, it is necessary to approach the problem from a different perspective. By going through this experience, you will gain a clearer understanding of what you truly want and have a more comprehensive understanding of yourself. So why not embrace it? In your description, you also roughly analyzed the reasons for quitting your job, feeling that your current income is not enough to support yourself and others, so you decided to resign. After all, considering the reality, there are many things one still has to do instead of avoiding them. Only by doing so, we can prevent ourselves from becoming weaker. So when you consider various reasons, you made a brave choice. I want to give you a thumbs up for that, well done. However, after quitting your job, you started to worry if you will be able to find work and have a better and stable income. Therefore, I have summarized some methods to help alleviate your current situation, hoping to help you to some extent. (1) It was already very courageous of you to gather the courage and resign, and you have probably thought about the consequences of quitting, but you still took that step, which is really great. Since you have come this far, just keep moving forward and try not to worry too much about the future. (2) Communicate with close friends or family members and talk about your problems to further release your emotions. However, make sure to choose the right person to communicate with and don't exhaust yourself even more through this conversation. (3) I think you have been working in the railway unit for quite a long time, so to some extent, you have accumulated a lot of experience. Therefore, you still have the ability to find a job that is comparable to your previous one. If it is difficult to find such a job, consider switching to a completely new field. The adaptation process might be long, but as long as you persist, you will definitely reap great rewards. (4) Have you considered working in another city? It may be tiring, but the effort you put in and the rewards you receive are generally proportional. Moreover, the salary could be several times higher than what you currently earn; it is entirely possible. However, if you really make such a choice, you will temporarily have to give up what you currently have to some extent because everything in life comes with a cost. (5) This society is always about survival of the fittest, so for your own sake, you should continuously improve your abilities in order to gain more of what you desire and protect the things or people you treasure. (6) Spend more time reading books to broaden your horizons and increase your knowledge. The world is cheering for you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, you have your own choices. Since you have made a decision, there's no need to dwell on the past anymore. From now on, strive to start a new life. Maybe you can go out more often and have a look at industry information, or browse job websites to see if there are suitable positions available. Perhaps you can also discover things you are interested in in your daily life and consider developing them into your career. Maybe you can talk to your family about your current difficulties and find solutions together. No matter what, I hope you can overcome the confusion, have confidence in yourself, give yourself positive psychological suggestions, and believe that you can do it. This will be more conducive to finding a new job and starting a new life. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11699
       },
       {
        "question": "I have depression! How do I deal with my relationship with a female classmate?",
        "description": "I have depression! I seek help from a female classmate, and whenever I have any unpleasant issues, I write her letters. But how can I better get along with her in such a situation?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ For someone with depression like you, writing letters to release negative emotions can be a good method. #However, you should also consider the other person's feelings: how is their emotional state? Can they handle your negative emotions? Are you in a relationship where you can talk about anything? Will your confessions burden them? These are all things to consider. #If you want to have a better relationship with the other person, it is important to understand their thoughts. For example, they may also have unhappy moments, so you can both become each other's confidants. #If your behavior becomes a burden to the other person, you can consider finding other channels or methods to express yourself, like creating an anonymous platform. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18833
       },
       {
        "question": "\"My husband is having ambiguous interactions with members of the opposite sex online, and I can't let go of it. What should I do?\"",
        "description": "Dated for ten years, married for one year, I have always believed that we trust each other and thought there were no problems in our relationship. However, I accidentally discovered that he was flirting with others online. After I found out, I cried, apologized, and reconciled with him. We even deleted each other's WeChat contacts. However, later I found out that he was liking posts from another person on Douyin (a social media platform). I questioned his behavior, but he didn't think it was a big deal and said that liking a post doesn't mean anything. What is his mentality? I can't let go of it and feel that I can't fully trust him anymore. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, infidelity.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Rarely muddled up! After 10 years of dating, they've been married for one year. Have they grown tired of each other? Can they only see each other's flaws and have lost all attraction? Women should always be vigilant and work on improving themselves. Learn something you've always wanted to learn, do some yoga every day to relieve your current anxieties. Spend some quality time together to observe his every move. Cry, apologize, and make up. Have the composure to face the situation; those who care about you won't make you cry, and those who make you cry won't care. Make him aware of the consequences of his actions, rather than just apologizing and getting back together. Stay calm. Continue observing, how far have they progressed? In addition to improving yourself, communicate calmly with him and find your own flaws to improve on. Men like to be admired, taken care of, surrounded, pampered, and understood. Are you fulfilling any of these points? Has his career encountered a bottleneck recently, needing some relief and someone to talk to? After 11 years together, you know him best. If it was just a momentary confusion, don't torment yourself anymore! If he hurt you once, how long will you continue to hurt yourself? Dating for 10 years and only married for 1 year. May your union be based on love. It's just a vague stage now. Don't push him into the other camp; slowly bring him closer to you. If you know he is flirtatious, you would not have trusted him for so long! If you know he has always been unfaithful, why did you marry him? If you know he is flirtatious and you can't change him, then live your own life well. If you feel one day you can't continue, let go! Walk alone. Do you have a celebrity crush? Do you think he's handsome? Then go give him a thumbs-up!",
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        "questionID": 8304
       },
       {
        "question": "Want to get rid of the shadow of childhood and feel helpless?",
        "description": "I was bullied by a boy who had no connection to me for seven years during my childhood, from kindergarten to elementary school graduation. I don't know why he always targeted only me, as I never provoked him. He was always a troublemaker and constantly belittled me. Even now, in 2020, when I'm 20 years old, I still don't have any friends because of what I went through in the past. I don't have any friends in any aspect of life, and it's true, I really have no friends. I have always wanted to break free from this, but I just can't do it. Every time I meet a new friend, I'm too scared to send a message or say hello and chat. I hesitate for a long time before sending even a single sentence, and in the end, I still can't bring myself to send it. I long for good friends to chat with, but I'm afraid of being rejected or ignored when I send messages. The reason for this fear is still connected to my childhood experiences. I really want to solve these problems, but I feel powerless.",
        "keywords": "Growing up, improving one's character, self-growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the author can feel more relaxed. 1. [When I was a child, I was bullied by a boy who had no connection with me for seven years, from kindergarten to elementary school graduation.] School bullying incidents are common, and every time I hear about them, I feel heartbroken and sympathize with the author's experience. I also lament that I haven't done enough and can only console the author through words here, hoping to be helpful. \"Childhood misfortunes require a lifetime to heal\" is indeed true. Childhood is a stage for shaping one's personality, and the things encountered in childhood will deeply imprint in our memories, becoming indelible. The author's misfortune has resulted in difficulties in making friends. How can this vicious cycle be stopped? Learn to reconcile with your past self. The author has grown up, at 20 years old, which means being an adult. The author is no longer the girl who used to be bullied. Holding onto past pain and struggling will only make oneself more helpless. What the author needs to do is to reconcile with the past self and accept the fact that the past self was not strong enough to protect oneself. To become strong, it can be seen from the author's description that the author is still sensitive and weak inside, and has not gained corresponding growth in self. Although the author has reasons, it is still recommended for the author to cultivate themselves. You can enrich yourself through reading, learning, and exercise, giving yourself a strong inner self and a healthy body, so that you can deal with all kinds of people in the future society. Break through yourself and be brave. This is the most important and the point that the author wants to change the most at present. The fact that the author can raise this question shows that there is a desire to solve it, which is already moving towards a positive direction. Since you have taken a small step, why not be more courageous and take a big step forward? There are more kind-hearted people in this world. Don't be afraid that no one will pay attention to you. When you send a message, if you encounter setbacks, don't be discouraged. Out of ten people, there will definitely be sincere ones who are willing to make friends with you and treat you sincerely. You need to be proactive and welcome their arrival. Don't be afraid and have the courage, keep going! I hope you can find friends in June. If you treat others sincerely, they will also treat you sincerely. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the original poster! It must be so difficult to have childhood traumas! I don't know why that boy has been slandering you for 7 years, it's truly a psychological crime! Is it because you can't distance yourself from him, or because you can't let go of the past? I noticed that you are more shy and timid when it comes to socializing, but being proactive is the fastest way to make friends. If you can't even send a message or say a single word, how can you make friends? The best method is to start with just one sentence. If you can't gather the courage to say too much, then start with saying \"hello\" today, just a normal greeting. The second time, ask how their day was. Take a step further the third time and ask if you can talk with them. That should be enough. When you truly make good friends, they won't consider it a bother. The person who dares to start a conversation will surely receive more warmth! Please don't worry too much, sincere conversations won't hurt each other. Also, don't care too much about what others think. As long as you haven't offended anyone, be straightforward. If you do get hurt, don't dwell on it too much because everyone is imperfect. You've already experienced the harm of hurtful words, so you won't hurt others. Please take the brave step and make friends!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Our childhood experiences have a significant impact on the formation of our cognition. You were bullied by a boy for seven years in your childhood, and the impact of these seven years on you was devastating. It is likely to cause two aspects of influence: on the one hand, it will affect your basic attitude towards others. You were not familiar with this boy, but he targeted and hurt you, not in a friendly way, but arrogantly and aggressively. As a result, you formed a basic impression of others: that they are all dangerous, they will harm you, and they only care about themselves and take pleasure in attacking others, being malicious. To make matters worse, after experiencing this harm, you didn't have good enough friends, so you didn't have the chance to correct this impression. There are people in this world who are malicious, but there are also kind ones. Without good friends, it means you haven't experienced the positive, kind, and accepting side of interpersonal relationships, only the negative information. Therefore, avoiding intimate relationships became a means for you to protect yourself. Although it made you lonely, it could also protect you. This was the best method you could think of as a child, and after seven years or even longer, it should have been one of the ways you protected yourself. On the other hand, it will affect your self-confidence. Self-confidence, also known as self-efficacy, means that when you do something, your evaluation of the results and whether you are competent or not are influenced by past experiences. When you were powerless in the face of harm during your childhood, it caused you to always have negative evaluations in interpersonal relationships. You feel that you don't have the ability to resolve conflicts. So, you're afraid of disagreeing with others, and you might even think that as long as there are differences, others will hurt you and you can't do anything about it. So how to solve it? First, you have to believe that most people are still worth trusting. This must be obtained through interacting with others. Generally speaking, a counselor can play this role. For example, the counselor is friendly, accepting, and patient towards you. Slowly, you will realize that although there are many bad people in this world, most people are still trustworthy. Counselors, parents, and even internet friends can all play this role. Internet friends have a small advantage over real friends in that even if you argue with them, they won't crawl through the internet to physically harm you, which is relatively safer. Second, you have to learn to discern which people are worth trusting. You have to learn what trust is, and understand that trustworthy people are not necessarily perfect. By interacting with trustworthy people, you will gradually learn how to handle differences. Then you will enjoy the benefits that trust brings, and your doubts and fears will decrease, and you may even develop a sense of competence, thereby increasing your sense of security. Third, you need to learn to protect your own interests when necessary. During those seven years, did you ever seek help from your parents? And although you were powerless as a child, now you may have the opportunity to help yourself. You can use imagination. In your imagination, you, as an adult, can help the powerless little girl from your childhood cope with difficulties and solve problems. When you can't come up with a solution, a counselor can assist you. If you can think of one, it will greatly improve your situation.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good afternoon! OP, from your description, I can sense your feeling of helplessness and your desire to change the situation. I also had a similar experience in elementary school, so I want to share it with you in the hopes that it might help. In my class, there were several boys who didn't like studying and enjoyed fighting. They would often bully classmates who didn't resist, and eventually they wanted to bully me too. However, I foolishly confronted them and even took the initiative to stand up to them. Whenever I stood up to them, they would back down. Eventually, they started to be a little afraid of me. Seeing their fear, I became even more brave and daring. But this approach was also dangerous, thankfully they never seriously hurt me. I'm sharing this experience with you to offer some advice. \"Be brave.\" When facing bullying, make sure to protect yourself, but when confronted, the one who is brave will win. Dare to stand up, sometimes bullies have no reason to pick on others, and the more you don't fight back, the more arrogant they become. They'll keep bullying because it becomes a habit. Considering the current situation, I think there are several ways to improve it. First, \"make peace with the past.\" The childhood experience caused you great trauma, resulting in difficulties in forming relationships. Now that you've grown up and have the ability to protect yourself, the things that happened in the past were not your fault, but the fault of the other person. You shouldn't continue to punish yourself with their mistakes. I suggest you make peace with the past because back then, you were weak and didn't know how to protect yourself, and the other person shouldn't have bullied you. The past experiences are behind you now, and looking at them from a different perspective can bring us wisdom. Second, \"acknowledge yourself and make friends boldly.\" You're now 20 years old, and you might feel worried and hesitant when it comes to making friends. You can only reap friendship if you take the first step. Don't worry about how others will react, whether they reply or not. Making friends depends on fate, and mutual attraction is what makes people friends. The prerequisite for mutual attraction is taking the initiative to look for it. OP, don't be afraid of rejection. Keep going! As long as you work hard, the season of harvesting friendship will come.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: I saw a child who has been bullied for 7 years. During this process, he doesn't know why others bully him, and he has no way to resist. This is a direct \"childhood shadow\", I think it will have an impact on his future interpersonal communication and relationships. I'm glad that you are willing to face this problem through counseling. Let's analyze it together, don't be afraid, I will help you. Analyze and understand the problem: 1. When he was a child, he was bullied by a boy who had no intersection with him for seven years, from kindergarten to elementary school graduation. He didn't know why the boy always targeted him. The problem is that he never provoked him, but he always troubles him. (Seven years is very important for a child's growth, including the formation of his character in the future. We can't know the specific reasons now, but I am very clear that it is definitely not your fault, so you don't need to be afraid, right?) 2. He has always been a troublesome boy because of various insults to you. Until this year 2020, when you are 20 years old, you still haven't had a friend because of what happened in the past. (There are always some little boys who like to be mischievous, maybe he can also feel that you won't resist him. It is really uncomfortable to be oppressed in this way. Twenty years old is theoretically an adult, and you shouldn't be subjected to such bullying by children anymore. But that \"shadow\" has always been difficult to dispel. Thinking about this child, growing up in fear, with no one to help. From then on, he no longer believes in people, friendship, or anything. Although, I know you really want to find friends.) 3. No matter what kind of friends, you don't have any, really no friends. You have always wanted to break through, but you just can't. Every time you meet a new friend, you dare not send a message to greet or chat with them. You hesitate for a long time before sending a sentence, and in the end, you still dare not send it. (Hmm, I can feel your desire to make friends, it is really lonely to be alone. Assuming there is a person who really, really, really wants to be your friend, it comes from the bottom of their heart. What help will it bring to your life and friendship? What changes will it bring to your life? Or, you have sent out the edited message, and then they also replied to you. Think about it, is it not that scary?) 4. I long for good friends to chat with, but I am afraid of being rejected or ignored when sending messages. The reason is still related to the experiences of childhood. I really want to solve these problems, but I feel helpless. (Hmm, I can see your determination to face this matter. Don't be afraid, although there were childhood influences, people in the world are different. When we slowly face it, you will find that it is not scary at all. Don't be afraid, don't worry, I'm here to help you, teach you step by step how to do it, okay? Don't be afraid, everything can be explained with reason. You were young at that time, but now you have grown up. I will teach you how to make friends, how to say \"no\" to people you don't like, so you can gradually overcome this. Facing the problem of \"childhood shadow\" ~~~ Childhood indeed has an impact on people. However, the changes in the future are also very important. The past can only represent the past and cannot become the future. I believe you can do it. You need to try slowly, step by step. At first, it may be slow, but don't worry, this is a normal \"speed\". If there are details, we can also communicate about them. In short, when you slowly open your heart, you will definitely make friends and become your own best friend. Closing: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you can be free from the influence of the past soon and confidently make friends. If you have any specific concerns, feel free to private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Childhood psychological trauma, it is better to do more meaningful things to gradually dilute the negative memories of childhood, because you cannot erase these childhood memories, but you can find many meaningful things from them. In fact, as long as you find meaningful things to do every day, time will slowly fade some of the memories. If we volunteer every day, we can learn that being alive means being active, instead of staying at home all day, playing computer games and not doing anything productive. In that case, it is difficult to establish communication with others, let alone talk about meaningful activities. Only through communication with others, can you learn more from them and do more and better things. Therefore, being alive means being active. When you wake up every morning, it is better to do some exercise and let your body breathe in plenty of fresh air. People will naturally feel refreshed and have a good mood. Therefore, it is worth finding some things that can make you happy. The bad memories in life will fade away as a result. So, it is necessary to find something to activate the negative memories in your heart, let the memories fade away, and slowly forget the bad memories by finding things to do every day.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After enduring long-term bullying at school, you have been unable to escape the shadow and have projected your past experiences onto people and things in the present. This psychological response itself has a positive self-defense effect, protecting you from further harm. However, since the reality has changed, this reaction is not in line with objective facts and the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. It is necessary to make changes in order to avoid affecting normal interpersonal interactions. As someone who shares a similar temperament with you, as well as being a mental health counselor and someone who has overcome similar experiences, I would like to offer you some advice. Since I do not know about your childhood experiences and family environment, I can only discuss this issue within the scope of simple cognitive-behavioral therapy. First, establish accurate cognition. List out your triggering events and outcomes. Event: being with a few semi-familiar same-sex individuals. Outcome: feeling uncomfortable and uneasy. Then, list out the cognitive process: why do you feel uncomfortable, believing that they will dislike you? Thinking that they might talk behind your back? Thinking that they might plot against or bully you? And then what? If they do something behind your back, will more people isolate me? Will everyone believe them instead of me? Will everyone dislike me? If everyone dislikes me, does that mean I am a failure? Should everyone like me? Can we infer that if someone dislikes me, then everyone dislikes me? By critically reasoning, you will discover the flaws in your own logic. Write down each of your mistaken and correct logics. Next, implement behavioral correction. I suggest using rational emotional imagining techniques. When you are alone, imagine yourself in the situation of being bullied in your early years, experience the feelings of anger, fear, and helplessness, and then start trying to use rational thinking to gradually dissipate these negative emotions. After becoming familiar with this technique through repeated practice, you can then use it in reality. Whenever you encounter situations that make you uncomfortable, use accurate cognition to guide yourself. The aforementioned methods are only techniques to address symptoms. To fundamentally overcome this, it ultimately requires the tempering of a strong inner self.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The occurrence of campus bullying is not uncommon, and every time I hear about it, I feel deeply saddened and sympathize with the experience of the victim. It also makes me realize that there is not enough that I can do. The saying that \"the unhappiness of childhood needs a lifetime to heal\" is absolutely true. Childhood is a crucial stage for the development of one's character. The things experienced during childhood are deeply imprinted in our minds, becoming indelible memories. How can we stop this vicious cycle? 1. Learn to reconcile with our past selves. 2. Make ourselves stronger. 3. Break through ourselves and be more courageous.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18875
       },
       {
        "question": "Sometimes friends may say things that make you feel uncomfortable. What should you do?",
        "description": "I don't know if I am too sensitive, but sometimes friends say things that make me feel uncomfortable. It can make me feel like my beliefs are being questioned or even mocked. How should I face this?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First, you need to determine what type of friend this person is, whether they are just a casual friend or a close friend. When we feel uncomfortable with the things others say, we need to clarify whether their words are friendly advice or malicious insults. If it is advice coming from a friend with good intentions that makes us uncomfortable, we may understand logically that they are just trying to remind us, but emotionally it may feel like we are being blocked and that our whole being is being invalidated. In reality, we need to understand that they are only addressing this particular issue and not our entire person, and they are not denying our self-worth. However, if they are mocking or belittling you, that is unfriendly behavior and you can choose to attack back, because that is not about sensitivity but rather their incorrect way of communication making you feel uncomfortable, and it is not your fault.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6505
       },
       {
        "question": "Watching videos, browsing information, and listening to audio are all habitual at 2.0x speed. Information anxiety?",
        "description": "Watching videos, reading information, and listening to audio at 2.0 times the speed has become a common practice. It helps to concentrate attention quickly and saves half of the time. Personally, I don't think it is a big deal, but many people perceive watching at double speed as a lack of appreciation or disrespect towards the authors.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone has their own pace, and broadcasters/authors need to consider the majority of people, so the speed should be moderately slow! So just enjoy it as you like. If you listen carefully to the content, why not respect the author? I have noticed that people have different voices. Some people can't understand the content at 1.5x speed, while others speak clearly and can understand the content at 2.0x speed. Everyone's pace is different, and the brain's response to information is different. everyone has different background knowledge, so the speed of listening to the same thing will definitely be different. I hope my answer can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12040
       },
       {
        "question": "Who should be considered my friend, the one who contacts me or the one who helps me?",
        "description": "I usually contact some friends, but when I really have a problem, I think of other people instead. Although I feel like I could get help from the friends I usually contact, I don't want them to know for some reason. I don't know why, maybe subconsciously I don't consider them as real friends?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friendships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think friends can be classified into many types. As you mentioned, those you regularly contact and think of when you need help, they are your friends. In our hearts, we probably have an understanding of each friend: what kind of person they are, how deep our relationship is, what we can do together, in what areas they can help me, and which friend I should turn to when I'm sad. Regarding the friends you mentioned that you don't want to share things with when something happens, I think there might be two possibilities: first, you feel that your relationship is not deep enough, and you don't want to show certain problems in front of them because you feel that your connection is not that strong. Even if you tell them, they would help you, but you might feel uncomfortable and think that you are bothering them. Second, it's also possible that your relationship is too deep, and you genuinely don't want to trouble them. You don't want them to worry about your issues. To figure out which one it is, you may need to ask yourself. In my opinion, it's best to find a comfortable way to interact with each friend. You don't necessarily have to worry about who is a friend and who isn't. Friends are originally a broad and complex concept, without a definite standard. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22013
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old girl, suffering from bipolar disorder, what to do if the family refuses to accept it?",
        "description": "I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder half a year ago. Every time my mom mentions it, she becomes silent and looks depressed. Initially, I was receiving treatment, but due to the pressure of studying in the third year of junior high, I didn't continue counseling after returning to school. Later, I stopped taking medication because the side effects were too severe and affected my studies. As my symptoms persist and cannot be relieved or controlled, I often feel very distressed. Besides the various negative impacts caused by the illness, I also face immense pressure and feelings of helplessness and fear when dealing with it alone. I have sought help from my family, but they always respond with questions like, \"Why are you like this?\" or \"How did you become depressed?\" without further discussion. I am currently in my first year of high school and live in the school dormitory. The school requires an investigation into students' specific physical conditions, with one of the items related to mental illness. I believe it is necessary for me to explain this to the school, but my mom is unwilling to provide the diagnosis report and does not want the school to know about it. She is concerned about the impact it may have on my future. I'm feeling tired now. I keep wondering if I shouldn't have had any hope for assistance from others from the very beginning. What else can I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between parents",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear OP, hello there. From your description, I can feel your helplessness and feelings of despair. Firstly, why do parents resist or even ignore our illness? In the older generation's mindset, when emotions such as depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety are diagnosed as psychological illnesses, they tend to associate it with insanity (what we call \"crazy\"). This is a cognitive error and prejudice. Parents temporarily cannot accept the fact that you have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, they cannot accept that their daughter is different from others. This can be seen from their response every time: \"How could you be depressed?\" This shows it. Parents' love for their children is profound. Your mother worries that if others know about this, they might have a negative view of you, and it might even affect your future studies and campus life. If they were to accept the fact that you have an illness, to some extent, parents would feel that they have failed in their upbringing and they would feel a lot of pressure. Since you fell ill, your mother has been in a low mood all the time. Little sister, although parents have these various problems, they are all due to their lack of understanding. In their hearts, they love you. What can we do then? First of all, think carefully about the reasons why you have bipolar disorder and tell your parents. If it is not hereditary, then you have a greater chance of recovery. The onset of bipolar disorder does not happen overnight but is the result of a long accumulation. Think about the reasons behind your constant low mood, perhaps it is the family atmosphere, interpersonal relationships, or academic pressure. Once you have a clear understanding of this, tell your parents. Because your parents do not believe that you suddenly developed bipolar disorder for no reason, you want to not only understand the cause of your illness for yourself, but also to make your parents understand it in the future so that they can cooperate with your treatment. Let your parents realize that bipolar disorder is just like a cold or fever, it is just an illness that can be cured as long as you cooperate and receive proper treatment, although the recovery process may be longer. Give yourself and your parents confidence. Explain the situation to your teacher and ask them if having bipolar disorder will have any impact at school. Finally, please do not give up hope. Have confidence in yourself to overcome the illness so that you can recover faster.",
          "has_label": true,
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           },
           {
            "start": 34,
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           },
           {
            "start": 63,
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           {
            "start": 520,
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           {
            "start": 536,
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Mom's non-acceptance is because many people associate mental illness with psychiatric disorders. Because of their lack of understanding, they may feel fear, anxiety, and a sense of unreality. Is it true? Does it really happen in our family? Therefore, Mom's acceptance will be a process, from not knowing to knowing to understanding. But this does not mean that parents do not love their children; it is precisely because of their deep love that they may be at a loss. As for whether the school should be informed, if it is a school survey, I think caution is necessary, especially if it is uncertain whether the confidentiality measures are sufficiently professional. This is because if the confidentiality is not done well, it may lead to many people knowing, but they may have limited understanding or even ignorance about this illness, and it may cause unnecessary harm to you. But if you are facing a counselor, you can talk about it. I believe that the counselor will provide safeguards in this regard. Mental illness, like any other physical illness, should not be avoided from seeking medical treatment. If there are side effects, you can discuss them with the doctor and adjust the medication in a timely manner. You should know that these illnesses have been around for a long time, and there have been numerous clinical trials. Compared to the illness itself, there is no need to be overly afraid of side effects. If certain medications have significant side effects, the doctor may adjust the medication or gradually increase the dosage after adaptation. In any case, do not stop taking medication on your own just because of discomfort. This could affect the effectiveness of treatment and prolong the duration of therapy. Meanwhile, psychological counseling should also be continued, and it is best if your counselor has a clear understanding of your medication usage. Overall, it is normal to rely on psychological support. There is no problem with that, especially with family members. Understanding that their non-acceptance is also due to anxiety caused by lack of understanding might make you feel a little better. We all may go from not knowing to knowing to becoming familiar with this. Acceptance from parents is just a reality for ordinary people. Let's all slowly learn about and face this illness, okay?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confession, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1. \"What else can I do?\" As the saying goes, an idle person is prone to illness. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be diligent. Since you live in a dormitory, whenever you have free time, you can clean your room, wipe the doors and windows until they are spotless. Engage in more conversations with your roommates. Communicate more. 2. When people are not engaged in activities, they tend to overthink. Overthinking can lead to negative thoughts, followed by pain and depression. As long as you refrain from overthinking, your condition won't worsen. How can you prevent yourself from overthinking? By keeping busy. The more you keep yourself occupied, the less you will think. 3. Don't talk about your psychological illness with people around you. You can find an online psychotherapist as a confidant. If you don't have money, you can also find free psychotherapists. For example, the individuals who answer your questions are mostly offering their help for free. You can try seeking assistance from them, as they are usually willing to help. Whenever you experience negative emotions, confide in them, and nip the problem in the bud. This way, you won't suffer. Thank you for your question, may all the beauty in the world come to you as scheduled.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10793
       },
       {
        "question": "On the surface, they may appear happy, but deep down, there are many things going on, feelings of depression. How to regulate them?",
        "description": "Every day, I appear to be happy and optimistic on the surface, but only I know that many things in my heart have been suffocating me. My parents, husband, and even myself have their own difficulties. I don't want to burden them, and as for others, I don't like discussing my own issues with them. I have a high defense mechanism, so sometimes I don't know how to resolve my frustrations and end up forcing myself to suppress these emotions, creating a vicious cycle.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If emotions are not released, they remain inside, making you feel repressed. Many emotions have nowhere to express themselves, and no one can understand you. Try opening up to your husband, when communication is established between the two of you, your inner suppressed emotions will be seen and understood by someone. Then you will gradually become happier in life. I'm not sure if my suggestion can help you, but you can also establish relationships with close friends, talk about your own confusion with them, and listen to their difficulties. Seeing how others live their lives can provide you with some inspiration and help. Wish you happiness and joy!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4757
       },
       {
        "question": "Despite knowing that one is doing something wrong, they still persist in their stubbornness and refusal to change.",
        "description": "I am a junior high school student, and I am a very self-insecure person. I have no sense of existence at school and have not felt love at home. Later on, I started getting involved in the internet and unknowingly cheated money. I used the money to buy clothes, but yesterday I encountered a big scammer who wanted to teach me how to cheat money. He told me how much money I could cheat in a month, and I was tempted and actually agreed. However, I did not cheat money with him, and I feel really uneasy in my heart. I feel like I am violating the law and I can't do this. So, I blocked all those people. I want to live a good life and achieve what I want through my own hard work. But I really don't know what to do now, how to return to a normal life, and I feel very bored. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, don't continue to push the boundaries of the law recklessly, as the law will respond if you dare to test it. It's never too late to change course and avoid disaster. There are many paths in life, and those seemingly easy shortcuts may hide hardships and pitfalls that are not yet visible. From your description, I can sense your dissatisfaction and helplessness towards your current situation, whether it's your studies, family, or yourself. It seems like a negative and pessimistic state. It's clear that you feel remorse for your actions of deception and you deserve praise for refusing to engage in more significant acts of fraud. This indicates that you are well aware of your own moral principles and boundaries. Since you are beginning to question your own thoughts, it shows that you don't want to continue in this situation, torn between deceit and money, and instead, you wish to return to normalcy and focus on your studies. I advise you to promptly stop your deceptive behavior because your mental maturity is not yet fully developed, making you susceptible to temptations and vulnerable to environmental influences. What you should be truly wary of, is the possibility for your desires to escalate. It might start with just wanting to buy a few clothes, but later you may desire to upgrade your phone, purchase cosmetics, and buy more expensive items. These things you constantly yearn for are like bait, leading you unknowingly into deeper trouble. Acknowledge the actions you have already taken and shift your focus towards your future and tomorrow. Perhaps a dull and monotonous life can be tiresome, but we can create interesting and fulfilling experiences for ourselves. Don't slack off, take yourself seriously. When we make mistakes, besides stopping ourselves from continuing to make them, we must also accept the reality of our imperfections. Try to forgive yourself for the mistakes you've committed. No one is immune to making mistakes, and everyone has their weaknesses. Don't scold yourself excessively over such matters. It is unreasonable to treat anyone, even yourself, from a high moral pedestal. Strive to return to a normal life as soon as possible. Maybe you've never truly taken yourself seriously or loved yourself. Maintain good academic performance and find a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction through your studies. When you first laugh wholeheartedly because of your efforts and achievements, doesn't that become a different kind of desire? Your life doesn't have to be as dull as it is currently. You also have your own value and significance. Our sense of existence is something we give ourselves. It isn't tied to the lives of others. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive education while you still can, and while there are still options, opportunities for growth, and chances to change. Invest in and devote yourself to your own development. Every seemingly ordinary choice you make now may have a significant impact on your future. Therefore, from now on, take good care of yourself and think about how to make your life interesting and fulfilling. Every road you walk will not be in vain. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21240
       },
       {
        "question": "Personality disorder, self-blame a lot, sincerely repent, and reflect every day?",
        "description": "I enjoy joking online, but I'm not very good at speaking. When discussing things, I like to exaggerate and mock things and people I don't like. Sometimes I speak without thinking, saying whatever comes to mind without considering the consequences. I have many flaws, but I genuinely want to change. I won't comment on others' right or wrong anymore, and I won't argue or try to please others just to exist. I am really a simple person who wants to make others laugh through my abilities and talents. However, constantly giving without considering what the other person truly needs, and disregarding others' feelings, is really thoughtless. When I'm in a bad mood, I even get angry at my parents. I truly want to be a grateful and filial person who is not obsessed with the virtual world of the internet. I have genuine remorse, but I know that no one will give me a chance, just like this software says \"the world is in love with you,\" I can't feel the world's love for me, all I feel is mockery. However, I have also mocked others in the past, so this is what I deserve. I hope everyone can calmly listen to the reasons why I became this way. I hope to give people with personality disorders and psychological trauma from childhood a little understanding, tolerance, and even a little care. I want to bring happiness to others, and it will be very fulfilling for me.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, guilt and shame, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~Give the original poster an encouraging hug. From the original poster's description, I can feel the good intentions and understand the desire to make everyone happy. This is really a very nice idea, and I can sense that the original poster is a kind person. However, I also understand the frustration of feeling like one is always \"doing harm with good intentions.\" Sometimes in life, even though we have good intentions, our actions may not turn out as expected. But the original poster doesn't need to feel guilty about it. As long as our intentions are good, we can always find other ways to change and improve our expressions, methods, and approaches. For example, we can learn how to express emotions more effectively, or learn how to be more humorous. Moreover, for the shortcomings that we have discovered in ourselves, we can firmly correct our mistakes instead of dwelling on self-blame. Because everyone has flaws, and it is not something to be ashamed of. What we really need to do is bravely admit and face them, and then work to correct them.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 13,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 13,
            "end": 49,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 49,
            "end": 77,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 77,
            "end": 147,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 147,
            "end": 234,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 234,
            "end": 328,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9366
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling insecure and constantly thinking about getting a divorce, what should I do?",
        "description": "I feel insecure. He never confides in me, and when I talk to him, he often ignores me. Every day, I feel angry and want to get a divorce.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage concept, divorce.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the title owner's short words, I feel the frustration and suffocation of not knowing where to focus, the anger of feeling even more lonely when together, and the urge to escape by doubting oneself. I hope this answer can bring you some comfort. First, we don't need to quickly label ourselves as \"lacking a sense of security.\" Let's first see what happened and feel it. Perhaps there are many causes behind it, not as simple as it seems. Perhaps we can try to see what our needs are behind this \"sense of security.\" In the subsequent expressions, it seems that \"sense of security\" can be understood as the hope that both parties can communicate and communicate, listen and support each other. The relationship between people is interactive, and there is no interaction between individuals and objects. This is a very normal need, especially in intimate relationships. On the other hand, we also need to see that everyone's way of interacting with others is different. Some people may react quickly and casually, some people may think carefully and act cautiously, some people may respond with actions instead of words, and some people may respond with words but have difficulty implementing them with corresponding actions... Perhaps we can look back and see how we got together in the first place; when we entered into marriage, what expectations did we have; what changes have happened now; have we changed, have we shown ourselves more comprehensively, have we understood each other more broadly, or have our expectations changed, or something else? When marriage encounters difficulties or problems, divorce is the simplest and most direct choice, but it may not be the best choice. What we need more is to grow in these difficulties, understand ourselves, see our interaction patterns, and see our needs. Only in this way can we live better in the next relationship. Otherwise, it is likely to be another repetition or cycle. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2557
       },
       {
        "question": "Long-term on the verge of mental breakdown and suicide, just wanting to end everything as soon as possible.",
        "description": "During the years from 15 to 21, I have been on the brink of mental breakdown. I have had several attempts at suicide. In the last few months of this year, I have focused on my work and planned to go to the place I've always wanted to visit to escape from this world. In 2008, my mother chose to leave because my father attempted suicide. In 2009, my father went back to our hometown and became a farmer. He could have supported himself without relying on us, but he insisted on labeling our family as \"poor.\" I remember one time when I received a subsidy for my studies, and as a beneficiary of this aid, I had to collect 100 yuan in front of the whole school. It was a blow to my self-esteem. The years in school were not easy, with classmates talking behind my back. I overheard someone say, \"His family is so poor! We won't play with him anymore in the future.\" Elder relatives in the village would tell me, \"You have a lot of pressure in your life. Sleep with a higher pillow.\" My father would spend money recklessly in our hometown. I started working at the age of 16 and still couldn't earn enough to repay the debts. Even my beloved grandmother passed away in 2019. Even my own aunt says that I'm a waste in this life! Now there is only my father left in the family, who only cares about money. I just want to end it all as soon as possible. I have been living with constant mental stress due to work, life, and family, and even good-natured people can push me to the edge.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, panic, helplessness, fragility, tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"#A sentence for the disheartened# Have you ever stored memories in an object? For example, keep this beautiful memory on a train ticket. Preserve this ticket, and when you see it in the future, you will recall those days. You can also seal unpleasant memories in an item, like a small glass bottle. Write down the incident, put it in the bottle, and use a permanent marker to write 'Open again on November 25, 2029'.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3561
       },
       {
        "question": "32 years old, unmarried, without a job, without any goals, what should I do?",
        "description": "As a single woman in her late 20s, I have been under a lot of pressure. My family constantly asks about my progress in arranged blind dates, even though the other party rarely contacts me. In the end, my family blames me for it. Of course, I am also resistant to the concept of arranged blind dates and find it extremely awkward. So, every blind date ends up without any progress. Besides my love life, my job situation is also the same. I can't find a suitable job, nor can I find something I am passionate about. I have tried various jobs, but none of them were what I liked. They either consumed my life or I couldn't handle them. During this year of unemployment, I have been struggling internally. I was never a confident person, and now I have become more introverted and resistant to social interactions. It feels like there's no hope in life. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In your worries, including life, work, and relationships, everything is going wrong, which makes you feel helpless and desperate. These various frustrations and pressures make you doubt yourself, lose confidence, and become more withdrawn, resisting contact with the outside world and using avoidance as a psychological defense mechanism to protect yourself. Not being able to find something you love, a suitable job, or a suitable partner is because your inner self is unclear about what you want and lacks confidence in achieving those things. Therefore, you use avoidance as a way to cope. It can be said that you have extinguished your own hope. The ability to change yourself and regain hope can only be done by yourself, others cannot give it to you. Life is full of various difficulties and obstacles, and many times you have no choice but to face them and force yourself to accept and solve them. Avoidance cannot solve problems, and habitual avoidance will only lead to more and more experiences of failure, and also undermine your self-confidence. Feeling that the job is not suitable is because you lack the determination and effort to solve the difficulties at work. Feeling unable to find something you love is because you haven't tried to love. Not being able to find a suitable partner is because you treat blind dates and developing intimate relationships as a burden imposed by your family. Have you noticed? It's not that you cannot think and analyze various situations and difficulties, but you unconsciously resist and refuse, rejecting many opportunities and forming a mindset of \"I can't do it\". Only when you truly treat these things as things you have to face and problems you have to solve, accept their arrival, stop resisting, and bravely face them, can you possibly solve them, have the opportunity to gain some successful experiences, and become the motivation and source of confidence for your continued efforts. And hope often lies in constant attempts and experiences. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, first, let me give you a hug and I hope the following answers can be helpful to you. Based on the main reasons you described as \"feeling like there is no hope in life,\" they are mainly as follows: 1. Emotional pressure: Being 32 and unmarried, you resist blind dates mentally. At the same time, you may face criticism from your family for not having results from these blind dates. 2. Work pressure: You can't find a suitable job. 3. Internal pressure: You lack self-confidence and resist socializing due to being unemployed. So, let's address each one: 1. Look at blind dates from a reasonable perspective. Overcoming psychological barriers is not just your problem, many people also find blind dates awkward. On the one hand, it may be because you are introverted and not good at dealing with strangers one by one. On the other hand, it may be due to stereotypes about blind dates, thinking that people who go on blind dates are usually \"leftover\" and even believing that blind dates are not about marrying for love like our parents did. However, in reality, with the development of society and open-mindedness, \"blind dates\" have become a healthy and popular way of socializing, which has indeed helped many people meet their emotional needs. Firstly, blind dates can help both parties save time on getting to know each other's family backgrounds and accurately match their needs, making it an efficient way of socializing. Secondly, you don't necessarily have to approach blind dates with the mindset of finding a life partner. But through blind dates, you can improve your ability to judge people. \"The more you meet, the better you will know what you like and dislike.\" Without even having the opportunity to get to know people, it will be even harder to figure out what you want. I have seen many friends born in the 80s and even 90s who met their current husbands through blind dates, and their relationships are very sweet. Some even had whirlwind romances and quick marriages. When destiny comes, nothing can stop it. Therefore, if you approach blind dates with a rational mindset and change your own perspectives, you can naturally overcome the feeling of \"awkwardness\" and embrace the opportunity for happiness. 2. Consider this as a gap year for yourself, to get to know yourself better. Many people experience a bottleneck period after working for a few years. They can't see the prospects of their work, repeat the same tasks every day, and find it difficult to balance work and life, which can make one reflect and think, \"Is this really the right job for me? Do I actually enjoy this job?\" Since you are not a fresh graduate, I suggest taking advantage of this period of unemployment and giving yourself a gap year. During this time, you can \"read good books, meet influential people, and experience the world.\" (1) Read books and autobiographies about personal growth. Learn from the experiences of great people for inspiration in facing life. (2) Look for different ways of living and find role models. Find people around you whom you admire, observe their lives, and bravely talk to them, finding our own direction from their examples. (3) Go out and see the world, embrace nature. When you're hesitant to interact with people, go out and explore the world, embrace nature. You will discover the vastness of the world and the greatness of nature, and realize that those trivial matters troubling us are really just small in comparison, as you have the whole world to experience. 3. Regardless of when, please believe that you are worthy of love. I believe that your lack of self-confidence is caused by the double pressure of emotional and work setbacks, and even more so when you are blamed by your family after failed blind dates, leading to self-denial and doubt. But the truth is, you are worthy of love! Always believe in this. Your family is actually just worrying about you, but they don't know how to express it better. There will certainly be someone who loves you, and the heavens have made you wait for a long time just to give you the best. Lastly, and most importantly, learn to love yourself. And the first step in learning to love yourself is accepting yourself, including your imperfections. Being 32 doesn't matter, you still have vitality and hope! I recommend you a wonderful autobiography called \"Take Charge of Your Life,\" it will inspire you. I hope this can help you. Good night, friend.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, being blamed by family, having difficulties in emotional development, and not being able to find a suitable job. I have become withdrawn, resisting contact with the outside world, and unable to see hope in life. I really want to find hope in life and find a way to integrate myself into society, but now I am very confused. Here, I want to give you a hug first and then ask you a question: Have you ever imagined what your future life will be like? Everyone has their own worldview and desires for life. What kind of life do you want? For example, do you have a very clear goal for your future spouse? If you don't have a goal, you need to think now: what kind of spouse do you want? After clarifying this question, you can have a targeted approach when dating. Similarly, have you thought about what kind of job suits you? In the process of past employment and job searching, have you summarized any experiences that can lay a better foundation for your future employment? When you have no job and no stable emotional state, people often cannot see what their future will be like. Your situation happens to be in such a period where you have not truly adapted to society and have not yet entered the waiting period for family life. I understand your confusion very well, and I suggest that you now start establishing your life goals and try to truly interact with society. Best wishes, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I want to give you a warm hug, dear questioner! When it comes to work and family, as we reach a certain age, it seems like everyone around us is busy searching for another kind of stability. Those of us who have been \"left behind\" are pressured by others to find that stability. Just as you mentioned, family members are anxious to know the progress of blind dates and can't wait for getting engaged and married the next day. For women, age is indeed a criterion. According to medical research, 35 is the ideal age for fertility. That's why unmarried women around the age of 30 start getting pressured by family and friends to get married. It seems that you are currently experiencing this stage. Based on your description, you don't like blind dates and believe in your own romantic imagination when it comes to love. You hope to meet the right person on your own. However, you also need to face reality. Meeting someone requires a social circle. If you are not someone who actively participates in social activities and your circle of friends is limited, blind dates can be a way to get to know strangers. Keep a positive attitude, don't resist, and don't settle. As for work, your attitude towards work is similar to that towards finding a life partner. You may have certain standards and want everything to be perfect, but the reality is not always like that. It's important for you to have a clear understanding of yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, and your abilities. Analyze what kind of work you are more suitable for and what kind of work environment you can adapt to, and then look for a job that fits accordingly. Age doesn't represent anything, what really matters is your abilities and your efforts. Wishing you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5332
       },
       {
        "question": "I suspect that I have Asperger's syndrome, what should I do?",
        "description": "I recently came across an article about Asperger's syndrome, which led to the above suspicion. When I was very young, my parents described me as talkative. However, I didn't have any friends in kindergarten. I was also clumsy and had poor motor skills. I often fell down for no reason. I vividly remember one time when I fell and scraped my knees and elbows, but I didn't cry. A group of people said, \"You're really brave.\" In elementary school, I didn't know how to make friends, and as a result, I was isolated by my classmates in second grade. I finally gathered the courage to talk to the teacher about this issue, but it didn't solve the root problem, so I ended up isolating myself until I graduated from elementary school. In first grade, I became interested in dancing because I thought it looked beautiful on stage, so I \"developed an interest\" and studied dance for six years. Nowadays, my motor skills aren't as bad. In middle school, I was isolated again, which led to depression (but I'm better now). I feel like I can't find the \"right moment\" to speak, and sometimes when I finish speaking, others look at me with strange eyes. Since I stopped dancing in high school, I often inexplicably bump into tables and chairs while walking in the classroom. Additionally, I have a tendency to collect things (from collecting dried ginkgo leaves in elementary school to now having a box full of used pen cartridges) and I lack basic empathy.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! Thank you very much for the invitation! I can feel the confusion in the OP's heart, unable to let go of the experiences on their own body, not knowing how or why they happened. Coupled with the stimulation from articles, the OP suspects that they have \"an illness,\" which is both a denial and lack of trust in themselves, as well as a subconscious need for self, a subconscious \"need\" for this \"illness\" to satisfy their needs. However, this kind of need cannot be discovered, understood, accepted, or acknowledged by the OP's conscious self. Asperger's syndrome is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by social difficulties, restricted interests, and repetitive behaviors. Asperger's syndrome and autism spectrum disorder belong to the autism spectrum disorders, but ASD does not have significant speech and intellectual impairments, and may even have abilities in certain areas that are higher than average, hence also being called \"high-functioning autism.\" The prevalence of Asperger's syndrome is about 3.6\u2030-7.1\u2030, with a much higher incidence in males than females, and there is a tendency for it to cluster in families. Asperger's syndrome is a lifelong disease, but symptoms often improve gradually with development. Adults with this condition can recognize their strengths and weaknesses and improve their social skills. Currently, there are no effective measures for preventing Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's syndrome usually cannot be noticed until after the age of 3. The clinical symptoms of this disease vary greatly among patients. Clinical manifestations in children with Asperger's syndrome include: extreme difficulty in communicating with others. This does not mean that children with Asperger's syndrome are avoiding social interaction, but they lack the instinct and skills to express their thoughts, feelings, and pay attention to the feelings of others. Easily bothered by loud noises, lights, strong smells, or crowded patterns. They like routine and have difficulty making changes. They have difficulty recognizing verbal or non-verbal information and understanding social norms. For example, they may stare at others without making eye contact, or they may not understand the concept of personal space. They speak lacking in tone, intonation, and emphasis, and their speech may be straightforward and difficult to understand. They may have poor coordination, abnormal facial expressions, body postures, gestures, or be clumsy, and may have difficulties in writing or other motor skills such as riding a bicycle. They have only one or a few interests, or are strongly obsessed with certain things. For example, they may have unusual preferences for snake or star names, or they may be able to draw very detailed pictures. (The above information is from the Internet and is for the OP's reference only) The presentation of symptoms is only one basis for auxiliary analysis and diagnosis. In the analysis and diagnosis of psychological problems and diseases, it is also necessary to consider the impact of symptoms on normal daily life and the level of inner conflict and pain. From the information provided by the OP, it can be seen that there is a certain degree of repression in their heart, and social impairment is not very evident. They have the ability to lead an independent and autonomous life and have normal social skills, but they lack a sense of security to some extent, and after being stimulated by certain things, they may exhibit a certain degree of regressive behavior. At the same time, the OP mentioned that they often bump into table corners after not practicing dancing, which on one hand may be due to the OP's nervousness and anxiety, and on the other hand, it suggests possible damage to the OP's imagination and nerve-related symptoms. Emotional changes affect the circulation of Qi and blood in the body, thus affecting nerve reflexes. It is recommended to go to a local hospital neurology department for an electroencephalogram examination to further understand the detailed situation and rule out physiological abnormalities. Based on objective facts, a comprehensive analysis and diagnosis can be made. The OP can schedule an appointment with a suitable therapist or seek suitable counseling locally.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16744
       },
       {
        "question": "Can I analyze and correct my thoughts to recover from the sexual abuse I experienced at the age of 5?",
        "description": "When I was 5 years old, I entered an abandoned house under the pretense of playing hide and seek. They pinned me down, tore off my clothes, slapped me, and forced me to nod my head. It was so dirty and I couldn't bear it anymore. I went crazy halfway through and rushed out without considering the consequences. They were only 5 and 9 years old, but I managed to break free and run out. After coming out, I realized that if I could break free, it meant that this could have been avoided, and yet I compromised at the time. The fact has already happened, so what's the point of running out later? It would have been better to continue enduring the violation until the end, staying in the darkness without pain. It is painful to step out of the darkness into the light. I shouldn't have entered the house and I shouldn't have rushed out at the wrong time. It was my fault from beginning to end. One month later, I gathered the courage to confront him and said, \"You should apologize to me!\" He said, \"Even if I pinned you down, didn't you nod your head? It was your own choice. You were asking for it, so what does it have to do with me?\" I couldn't refute his words. Yes, even though he pinned me down, I didn't refuse, I nodded my head, it was my own choice. Even though I got hurt, I was also an accomplice with him. I harmed myself together with him, I consented to it, so what right do I have to demand an apology from him?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, pathological personality, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the subject. I really want to give you a hug first. Seeing you slowly open up yourself, it really takes a lot of courage. After reading your question, I can feel your guilt and self-blame. You blame yourself for not making the \"right\" choice at the time and for missing the opportunity to save yourself. Dear, what I want to say is, you were only five years old at the time. You didn't know what it meant to you, you only knew that the other person violated you and you felt immense shame. You shouldn't have to bear all of this. You were much weaker compared to a nine-year-old boy. Before you escaped, the other person used physical violence to threaten you, and you were forced to nod your head in agreement. When you ran out, you also felt despair because you felt that it had already happened and was irreversible. The reason you went back is because you felt too ashamed inside to face the light, and returning to the darkness made you less afraid. It was a desperate choice for a child. In my opinion, you did not make the \"wrong\" choice, in fact, you were always protecting yourself. The other person used physical violence against you, and you chose to nod your head to protect yourself. When you ran out, you found that it was more painful to walk from darkness to light than to stay in darkness, so you returned to darkness. These were the best choices you made for yourself at that time. When you confronted the other person a month later, they hurt you again and they said that you agreed of your own accord, and you didn't refuse. The other person used their \"smarter\" logic to refute you, leaving you speechless. But you need to see that the fact is that you didn't really want to agree to this matter, you were under the other person's violent threat and had no choice but to nod your head. You made that choice to protect yourself from further harm. In your response to me, you mentioned that another child involved, who was in the second grade when this happened, took it out and bragged about it, leading to the whole class ostracizing you and subjecting you to verbal abuse. I feel very sorry for the harm you have suffered. When I listened to your story, when I replied to your questions, I could feel that deep despair. So what else could you do at the time, facing a stronger force, you couldn't do anything. Your anger had nowhere to be expressed, so it turned inward towards yourself. Perhaps all these years, you have been extremely disgusted with yourself. Our greatest pain is the inability to accept the truth. We desperately want to change what cannot be changed and hope that the past can be rewritten. However, I believe that the choices a person makes at any moment in their life are the best choices. I believe a person's life inherently has this kind of strength. The child in you was the one who was hurt, the frightened and helpless child hiding in the corner of your heart has been there for many years, and now we need to use more love to nurture her, to accompany her so she can come out of that corner. I remember a line from the American author Tara Westover: \"Who writes history? I think it is I.\" We are the ones who create history, and at the same time, we are the ones who write history. We are our own history. The past has become the history of the past, but our lives are not over yet, and we have the ability to write a new history, don't we? When that child from the past walked from darkness to light, she was scared, unable to bear the pain of stepping into the light. But today, I see you coming out of the darkness, exposing your wounds to the sunlight. Thank you for your courage, thank you for your honesty, from you I feel the power of life, a power that moves me. Today, in my article, I wrote this sentence and I want to share it with you: \"What is pain? If you can accept this pain, it is a gift, a gift from life.\" That's my answer, I hope it helps you. Wishing you the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I feel sorry for your experience. Here's a warm hug for you! What really hurts me is your self-blame. You accepted their unreasonable logic and believed that you were complicit in hurting yourself. This way of thinking is what truly breaks my heart. After something happens, we look back and analyze the situation, only then can we make better judgments. So we blame ourselves, regret, and create countless \"if...then...\" sentences in our minds. However, these better judgments are based on knowing the outcome clearly afterwards. At that time, you didn't have the ability to predict. It's unfair to blame yourself using the information you gained later. If we all had the power to predict, we wouldn't expose ourselves to danger, deception, or take the wrong paths. But that's not how things work, many experiences are only learned after going through them. When they held you down, you didn't know if you had the ability to break free, it was only after you managed to escape that you realized you could. You regret why you didn't do it earlier, but at that time you didn't know! You said, what's the use of escaping now that the fact has already happened. It does matter, at least you made the effort to escape, you tried hard, and you succeeded. You think it's better to endure the violation until it's over, staying in the darkness without pain. If it were really like that, you would also regret it, regret why you didn't do anything and just endured it, you would hate your helplessness. So in this situation, no matter what you do, there will always be harm and regret. Since the event has already happened, try to accept it, imagine embracing that injured self, instead of blaming her. Later on, you had the courage to confront the other person, I think that was a very brave act, and you deserve praise for it. However, your courage only lasted for a moment and was immediately defeated by the other person's illogical argument. How can this be considered voluntary? It's like someone holding a gun and asking you to give them your money, and you comply, and then they say, \"You gave it willingly.\" Is that considered voluntary? Of course not. It's just a form of self-protection in a dangerous situation. So, when you didn't resist, when you nodded under pressure, it was still coercion, not voluntary. Don't accept their illogical logic. Of course, you have the right to demand an apology, and you should even demand them to pay a certain price. So, don't blame yourself, you haven't done anything wrong, it is the people who hurt you that are wrong. If you find it difficult to overcome this incident, seek help from others, talk to friends, find a therapist, take it slowly, give yourself more time, and you will get better. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading the story you described in your question, although I can see your self-doubt and helplessness in the story, I believe you also see your courage and strength in this incident, just as you said in your question, a person does not suffer in the dark, but suffers when they move towards the light. I deeply understand this feeling, so I want to discuss a few aspects with you in the hope of inspiring your current self and helping your past self. [Your strong rebuttal hit the core of your \"self-denial\"] In the story, I can see that you have affirmation and complaints about your actions in the entire incident. As a young child, you were not sure whether you could break free from their control in that situation because you didn't know your own strength. This is a normal psychological state. Everyone is unable to measure themselves well when they are young, not knowing what they can achieve. Therefore, when they feel in danger, their instinct is to protect their own physical safety. Faced with a much stronger boy, choosing to comply is the best way to survive and it is almost an instinctive reaction. However, when you muster the courage to confront him, he refutes your claims and blames you. It's like a murderer holding a knife to someone's neck and asking, \"Can I kill you?\" This initial creation of fear actually makes people lose their rationality because the knife is already at their throat, and regardless of whether they nod or not, we would believe that he won't let us go. Therefore, this itself is a fallacy, based on the fact that he threatened you with force, forcing you to agree. So, all the fault lies with him, even in the face of the law, it is still his fault. [Growth always comes with pain, but life will eventually reward you] I understand the pain of feeling wronged and hesitant to move forward. Just as you said in your question, \"One does not suffer in the dark, but suffers when they move towards the light.\" But do you know why people who stay in the dark do not feel pain? It's not because there is no pain, but because they are numb. They have numbed themselves in continuous pain and have given up on seeking sunlight. But fortunately, you are not the person who stays in the dark. You bravely chose to step out of the darkness and embrace the light, even though this process is accompanied by a lot of pain. But it is all worth it because growth inevitably comes with inner growth. In fact, all growth is such a process. The essence of growth is constantly breaking one's own self and then regenerating a completely new self. The process of breaking oneself is constantly self-denial, which is what you are currently experiencing and facing. Therefore, you will feel pain and find it difficult to accept yourself. When feeling pain, you will question your own actions, especially when you feel pain, you will want to retreat back to the shell that once numbed you. However, you still persist and continue to break through, change yourself, and I am very pleased to see your growth and courage. [Persist in your courage and confidence, be brave in protecting yourself] Now, you already have the ability to protect yourself. You can have many ways to protect yourself, and I believe you can think of these methods, such as promptly informing your parents and teachers, or even reporting to the police, all these methods will help you handle this matter fairly, rather than getting involved in a quarrel with him. Have you chosen to do this now? But I believe this incident is also enlightening to you, you should learn to protect yourself in life, learn to identify which invitations are friendly and which appointments are dangerous. At the same time, you should always maintain a firm determination to fight to the end and always believe that their actions are indefensible morally and legally. Of course, more importantly, I hope that after experiencing this incident, you can adjust your cognitive thinking through self-improvement. We need to understand that behind every event, there are two reasons: \"ourselves\" and \"external environment\". In this incident, the reason lies in the \"external environment\" or \"that 9-year-old boy\". Knowing these two methods of finding reasons, we should no longer shoulder all the problems by ourselves but instead analyze them from both perspectives. Because too much self-blame is not conducive to our own growth and will bring us a lot of negative emotions and psychological distress. I hope you, the brave one, can truly break free from distress and embrace the sunshine.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, Lulu, nice to meet you. This is Aliang, a person who is willing to be your little sunshine. I'm glad that we can meet here, and I want to give you a big hug. After reading about Lulu's experience, Aliang also feels deeply connected. Aliang also understands this feeling very well because, like this kind of thing, Aliang has also experienced it before. It seems that in this world, treating women has never been so fair. When Aliang was very young, there were times when Aliang felt helpless about the world and even wanted to end it all, feeling that there was no brightness left in this world. In this world, some people always treat women differently. This is something we cannot predict because we are not others, and we do not know the \"good and evil\" in their hearts. Many times, the reason why we cannot get out of this shadow is because of our \"disgust\" towards this thing. These things are like a \"brand\" on our bodies, deeply engraved in our hearts, constantly reminding us, making us intensely conflicted internally. It took Aliang a long time to get out of these shadows. Here, Aliang knows that certain things have already happened, and when we reminisce about the past, they are of no use. Aliang wants to share how I have overcome these years, hoping that after Lulu reads it, there will be some answers. \"Don't force other people's faults onto yourself.\" Aliang knows that Lulu has always been obsessed with the experience at the age of five, and even though he mustered the courage to confront him face to face, he was unexpectedly refuted and left speechless. This must have been a big blow for Lulu, but Aliang cannot give a strong suggestion like others, saying to \"use the law\" to punish him, because in a certain sense, Aliang is just as cowardly as Lulu. Here, Aliang can only provide some self-healing methods as advice because, when certain things are mentioned again, it is like rubbing salt on the wound. In this matter, we need to understand that the original \"fault\" lies not with you, but with that boy. The reason you can't get out of this shadow is that the harm he caused you cannot be repaired. Although you really want to go back to that moment in the past, we cannot turn back time in this world. It is precisely because time cannot be reversed that we become more obsessed with certain things. Because we care more, we cannot cross over. It is as if these \"mistakes\" would not have happened if we had refused at that time. This infinite loop of \"possibility\" stimulates our brain's nerves over and over, leaving us restless all day long. But if we think about it, if we keep caring about things in our hearts, doesn't that mean we lose too much of the \"beauty and meaning\" in our lives? Formerly, Aliang always saw the \"terrible\" version of myself from the past and always believed that such things were like a \"stain\" that existed, resulting in increasing self-doubt. And with self-doubt like a \"stain,\" we constantly belittle ourselves in life, ultimately leading to the result of becoming more and more \"terrible\". I forcefully put the faults of others on myself, unable to get out of it, which led to encountering \"terrible\" people in those \"terrible\" days. If we want to truly move on from this, what we need is only one thing, and that is \"courage\" because only courage will make us fearless. We should not fear the bad things that have happened to us but rather strengthen our \"inner self\". How should we strengthen our \"inner self\"? Here, Aliang gives Lulu some advice: go out more, on weekends, plan something for yourself, visit nearby cities, and if you have extra time, travel further. After communicating with different people, your world will become brighter. At the same time, you will be more willing to face the \"fragile\" self inside you. We know our own shortcomings, but that does not mean we will be \"terrible\". We don't need to reach the level of \"the world will kiss me with pain, and I will respond with a song.\" We can live a rich and colorful life. Find your own self-worth, do things you love in the fields you like, and achieve something. When our life is no longer based on the \"stain,\" your whole world will become brighter. Read more. Maybe here, you feel that reading doesn't have much to help you, but often, we can find answers to the perpetual questions in books. Here, Aliang recommends that Lulu read books on how to overcome the limitations of life, how they strive to live towards the sun when encountering difficulties. Aliang recommends the book \"When You Fly Like a Bird Towards Your Mountain.\" The above is only Aliang's personal opinion, a summary of Aliang's \"unpleasant\" experiences over the years, because in life, some things are in \"equivalent exchange.\" When one door closes, another will definitely open, but this window needs us to find it ourselves. Finally, Aliang here wishes Lulu a happy life, and in the future, Aliang will encourage and support Lulu in life. Let's cheer together!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Give the original poster a hug! You can feel the OP's internal repression, anxiety, and conflicts. Anyone in this situation would feel a great deal of pressure, pain, and distress. However, the OP also shows us their confident, brave, and strong side. They can actively resist and protect themselves when they realize the danger, instead of allowing the tragedy of harm to continue. Even though the OP still experiences some harm, they at least have the courage to resist and protect themselves when faced with harm. And by doing so, they have achieved some success: they have prevented further harm to themselves and have demanded an apology from the perpetrators. The OP has done really well in these two aspects, and their courage deserves praise! For the OP, at the time, they were still young, just a five-year-old child. Their understanding of being stripped naked and what would happen next was limited. They may have regarded it as a \"fun\" game and didn't realize the harm it had on them. Moreover, there were more people on the other side, who were stronger, so the OP instinctively believed it would be better to not resist and that the risk would be smaller, without any life-threatening danger. This can be understood. It doesn't mean that the OP didn't want to resist at all; part of it was due to not knowing what was happening and how to deal with it, so they could only observe silently for the time being. The reason the OP eventually resisted was because their inner emotions could no longer bear it. It shows that the OP's inner suppressed emotions were very powerful, to the extent that they went beyond their conscious control and had to \"erupt\" in order for the OP to \"break free\" without caring about the consequences, and to protect themselves by resisting harm. From the OP's narrative, it seems that a large part of the repression in their inner emotions stems from a cognitive understanding of \"dirtiness,\" or rather, their inner sense of morality is too strong. This also influences the OP's self-perception, which causes them to sink into the painful \"darkness\" even after successfully resisting and protecting themselves. The inner self has a rigid \"bias\" in its understanding and thinking, and external environmental stimuli only exacerbate these \"biased\" leaning, making self-perception even more \"biased.\" Just like when the OP asked the other party to apologize, and they blamed the responsibility for the harmful behavior on the OP, saying that the OP nodded in agreement at the time, the pressure brought by these responsibilities also transferred to the OP, making their inner self even more distressed. Now, the OP wants to correct these thoughts, which is equivalent to \"overturning\" their self-perception and abilities to some extent. It will be difficult for the self to understand, accept, and recognize this. Therefore, the OP can try to accept these events that have already happened, accept their own ignorance at the time, accept the harm caused by the situation itself, accept and recognize the effort they put into protecting themselves, and accept the conflicts and confrontations in their own thoughts. In real life, they should do what they should do. The past is already gone, no matter how much we regret or suffer, it will not disappear. It's like a scar, maybe we can't erase it, but we can give it more careful and warm care, so that it won't be harmed in the future. We cannot choose the past, but we can choose how we live in the future. Putting our energy into letting go, looking ahead, can make us live more easily, freely, and peacefully. Dwelling on the past will only make us suffer, anxious, and afraid. Let go of the past and there will be a chance for us to carry on living the present and the future with ease, naturalness, and happiness.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I'm fortunate to give you some advice. From what I've read, I want to tell you that when you were 5 years old and experienced such an incident, you were not a co-conspirator. You were able to break free from their \"clutches\", and you were really brave! From your current perspective, you may think that your behavior at that time was \"unbearable\", or even \"cowardly\", or had some sense of \"voluntariness\". The reason for these viewpoints is that you have grown up, and when you look back on yourself at that time, you naturally think that your behavior at that time was so unbearable. Analyzing up to this point, I think you should have some doubts about your self-disgust thoughts. Next, we will analyze from your childhood experience. * The process of recalling memories can be painful and unwilling to face, but please believe that you will successfully heal. * Did your 5-year-old self understand the concept of sexual abuse? * When playing hide and seek with friends, why did you enter the abandoned house? * What did you see after entering the house? * After seeing these things, what was the first thing you thought of? * Was it fear? Helplessness? Confusion? * Or did you keenly feel that the other party would have inappropriate intentions, and therefore fear? * What was your initial reaction when they held you down? * Was your mind blank? Or...? * What did the sexual abuse mean to you at that time? Then, let's look at the things the other party questioned you about. * They were older than you and the ones who perpetrated the sexual abuse. For them, their own mistakes may not be a big deal, so they would question whether it was your consent. * Your brave escape from their \"clutches\" was actually something they did not expect. Deep down, they were also worried that the situation would be exposed. They wanted to confuse the situation and make you feel that it was your own problem and your own responsibility. * In this situation, the other party wants to minimize or even escape their own mistakes. Therefore, we don't have to shoulder the consequences of their mistakes, do we? Based on all of the above, I wonder if there has been some shift in your mindset. Experiencing sexual abuse is indeed shameful for oneself, but we also need to see our own \"bravery\" and our determination to \"uphold justice\" behind the shame, right? I believe this experience has provided you with great motivation to better protect yourself in the future and to see others clearly and face life bravely. I wish you all the best.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know how old the questioner is now, but I guess they must be at least in their teens. In that case, I think the questioner should have this understanding: a 5-year-old child does not have the ability to act, so they cannot judge a 5-year-old child's behavior based on their current perspective. To exaggerate a bit, even if something happened when they were 5 and it was caused by the injured child themselves, it is not the 5-year-old's fault. Moreover, the 5-year-old child was being subjected to violence at the time. So, the problem that the questioner faces now is actually how to make themselves aware that the 5-year-old self did nothing wrong. The reason the questioner has this idea of \"although they were also hurt, they were actually an accomplice in hurting themselves\" is because this matter did not receive a proper resolution at the time, and the influence of people around them caused the unresolved aggressive feelings resulting from the incident to be internalized as self-attacks. The subsequent feeling of being \"dirty\" that the questioner has is actually a result of this internalized aggression. Under the constant impact of this aggression, the questioner consciously believes that they are \"dirty\". This is actually a form of self-punishment. If the questioner remains in this state of internalized aggression, they probably won't feel pain. However, now the questioner wants to break free from it, so the result is the pain of \"staying in the darkness is not painful, but it is painful to step into the light\" as the questioner described. This pain, however, is an inevitable part of personal growth, much like the pain of childbirth. Only through this kind of anguish can one experience the joy of rebirth. Therefore, what the questioner needs to do is to abandon their previous understanding and look at the behavior of their 5-year-old self from a different perspective. For example, in the process of the incident, they bravely managed to escape, which most likely saved them from more serious harm. This is truly remarkable for a 5-year-old child. For example, even though they were very afraid and worried after the incident, they were actually able to demand an apology from the person responsible face to face a month later, which is an even more remarkable action. You see, even adults, not many people would be able to request an apology from someone who has caused them harm, let alone do it in person. So, what the questioner needs to do is to find those inner strengths that have been constantly overlooked in the past and make themselves aware that the 5-year-old child, although they may have felt powerless in many ways, possesses even more internal strength. When the questioner is able to connect those neglected inner strengths with their present self, they should be able to complete the transformation from darkness to light. That's it. I hope it can be helpful to the questioner.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the title of the question, I feel very sad after reading your description. There is a saying that \"an unhappy childhood takes a lifetime to heal,\" and it can be seen how much your childhood experiences have affected you even now. Actually, anyone will experience various problems during their childhood, but some are just minor issues, while others are major events that are not easily let go of. For you, it is the latter. Here, I have some suggestions in the hope that they can help you. 1. Don't engage in victim-blaming. As a victim, it was the right thing for you to escape from the house. You did nothing wrong, and you must remember that. In whatever we do, we often have thoughts like \"If I had done this or that, I would have done better,\" \"If I had another chance, I wouldn't be like this,\" or \"Why did I do that back then?\" However, no matter what, the past is already gone and cannot be relived. Therefore, don't always feel sad because you struggled too late. Struggling and escaping itself is a conscious resistance, and for someone so young, your actions were already great. The one who was wrong is the other person, so don't always blame yourself. Change your current thoughts and tell yourself that you were great back then. 2. Learn to practice self-psychological guidance. When you find yourself always thinking about these things, try to let go. How do you let go? For example, divert your attention and try to give yourself positive thoughts. Those things have already passed, and they will never happen again in the future. \"I will become stronger in the future and face the future with a better attitude.\" Convince yourself more and strengthen your self-confidence. At the same time, when you are feeling particularly down, you can go out for a walk. Don't let past events limit you. If things become too overwhelming, you can also try talking to a friend to relieve the uncontrollable emotions at that time. 3. Read more books or practice meditation. Actually, if you read more books, you may find that there are many people in the world who have similar experiences to yours. Each person struggles and works hard in their own life and finds ways to overcome it. I think reading books is not only to learn from them but also to find strength in books. Since the past cannot be changed, find ways to make yourself stronger. Also, I recently discovered that meditation can help you understand yourself more clearly and separate yourself from your thoughts. You can try meditating to shift or change your focus on this matter, and thus find better ways to improve yourself. Finally, I wish you well!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Honey, I see that you are confused about personal development. You mentioned being forced and violated when you were young, but you discovered that you could escape, although you still compromised before. Moreover, when confronted by the other party, they claimed that you had agreed and tried to distance themselves. Afterwards, you would think, even if you knew and agreed to it, what could you do? But if we look at the beginning of the situation, were you really willing? No, you were coerced. If you hadn't gone along with them, they might have caused you even greater harm. So this behavior actually protected you to some extent. Also, before you tried to escape, did you know you could? No, you didn't. And if you hadn't escaped, you might have experienced further violations. So actually, by escaping, you prevented future harm. It can be seen that many times your reactions and actions are actually to protect yourself from more serious harm, and in the current situation, it's difficult for you to have a clear mind. You are probably in a state of panic and confusion. So don't blame yourself, dear, it's not your fault, it's the fault of those people. In fact, they have also violated the law to a serious extent!! But seeing you bravely speaking out and seeking to overcome this issue, and wanting to eliminate its impact on you, you have already made great efforts. And for so many years, you have been living under this shadow, which is really not easy. Hugs to you. Actually, there is no specific advice, just hoping that you can try to love yourself more. Because you are already amazing, you have already made great efforts, you are not at fault. I hope this can help you, the world and I love you~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7
       },
       {
        "question": "How should I handle my panic when I worry about leaving a bad impression on my friends?",
        "description": "Hello everyone, I am a college student. I would like to ask everyone a question. It's about a friend whom you trust a lot, but you've done something that she finds very childish and nonsensical, like offending other people by arguing. Although it's my own fault and I've brought trouble upon myself, I don't know if she will feel very disappointed in me? She has helped me a lot before and has cared about me. I'm really scared and panicked. My anxiety has flared up again. I don't want to leave a bad impression on her. What should I do? Please help.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friendships, deception and trust.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hello, how are you, question asker? I'm here to give you a hug as a good friend. Wanting to have a good relationship also requires honesty. If you are afraid that some childish behavior will disappoint your friend, observe if your friend shows clear signs of dislike when you exhibit such behavior. Or is it just your own perception that your friend finds these behaviors annoying and disappointing? Differentiate your friend's attitude and then communicate. If your friend directly expresses dislike for your childish behavior, then you should remember not to make these mistakes again in the future. You can communicate with your friend, admit your mistakes, and express a sincere attitude. Let your friend know how important they are to you and that you hope they won't be disappointed. If it's just your own perception that these behaviors might disappoint your friend, then don't keep this thought to yourself. Don't speculate about your friend's attitude. Just bring it up and ask if your friend dislikes these behaviors. If your friend says yes, then you can express your own thoughts and admit your mistakes. If your friend says no, then you can express your fear of losing such a good friend and ask what behaviors they don't like, so you can avoid them in the future. It can be like having a chat with each other. \u25bc\u25bc\u25bc In fact, no matter what, the question asker has already acknowledged their mistake, which is a good start. Only by recognizing the mistake can you make an effort to correct it. The question asker also doesn't like these childish behaviors deep down, but once they happen, there's nothing they can do except blame themselves. Nobody is perfect. Even a rabbit will bite when it gets agitated, let alone a person. Everyone has their imperfections, and everyone has the right to dislike others. It's impossible not to offend anyone; the question is whether it happens more or less often. The question asker shouldn't put too much pressure on themselves, they should relax and tell themselves to be more mindful in the future. Making friends means opening up and having conversations, getting to know each other better.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. OP thinks that they have done some things that make their friends feel very childish and ridiculous, and they are afraid of leaving a bad impression on their friends. It seems like OP cares a lot about them and cares about their opinion of OP. After doing something wrong, not only do they feel anxious, but they also care about whether their friend's opinion of them has changed for the worse. Friendship also requires mutual acceptance. If they are disappointed with OP or have negative opinions of them just because of this one thing, then they are not truly a friend. And maybe the other person didn't even think much about this thing and just sees it as a small matter. Nobody is perfect, and we all have the potential to make mistakes or have bad moods. In these situations, it is inevitable that we may act impulsively, and afterwards, we may feel regret. Therefore, OP should try to relax and open their mind, as other people may not care about these small things as much. Good luck~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 11421
       },
       {
        "question": "Middle school girl, feels uncontrollable fear when seeing a knife, unsure of the reason.",
        "description": "Because of being exposed to some negative news, I now feel scared every time I see a knife. I even have imaginary scenes of murder in my head. And I feel guilty for having these thoughts. It's like my brain is uncontrollably fixated on negative things, and I'm really afraid that one day I might accidentally harm someone. This is the most troubling problem for me right now, and I've been feeling distressed for several months. I don't want to think about this, but I still feel uneasy. It's just that I randomly have thoughts of causing harm to others, even when I'm not angry and others treat me well. I don't know why I have these thoughts. Now I'm starting to doubt if there's something wrong with me mentally. I have been struggling for a long time, and I sincerely ask for your help. Can you please analyze the reasons behind this based on the paragraph I wrote? I hope someone can help me, as no one has answered me so far.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, mental crisis, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a virtual hug. From your description, I can understand that you feel scared when you see a knife and have thoughts of killing someone. You worry if one day you will actually commit murder and you don't know why these thoughts appear. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Fantasizing about dangerous situations when seeing dangerous objects is actually our own consciousness protecting ourselves. Just like how standing at a great height may make people feel the urge to jump, many people advise against standing on high platforms. Being near a lake or sea may make people feel the urge to jump in, and when seeing a knife, you may feel like it will harm you... These thoughts are actually a way for our selves to protect us. When you see these things, the first scenes that come to your mind are related to danger, thus making you feel scared and preventing you from taking action. 2. Additionally, there is an inherent sense of fascination with blood, knives, and danger deep inside people. This involves the archetype of the dark side of our inner selves. Sometimes, people develop a curious interest in learning about terrifying things. That's why sometimes horror movies attract people, the more afraid they are, the more they want to watch. 3. If these thoughts are affecting your daily life, I would recommend seeking a professional mental health counselor to understand the situation and obtain more systematic and effective solutions. I hope this is helpful for you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 18194
       },
       {
        "question": "Is the unconscious desire for others to feel happy, people-pleasing?",
        "description": "Why do we hope that everyone around us can feel happy, and why do we care so much about other people's emotions? It can be exhausting, but we can't control it.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, people-pleasing.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello cutie! First of all, let's determine whether you have a people-pleasing personality. The main characteristics of this trait are: the motivation behind their behavior is a lack of self-worth and fear of not being loved, even to the point of being afraid of being abandoned. This becomes an unhealthy, compulsive, and painful pattern of behavior. It seems like you're saying that you find it exhausting to focus on other people's emotions, which could indicate a people-pleasing personality. #Why do I want to make others happy? Bringing joy to others is a valuable part of life. Our elders have also taught us this, and taking care of and loving others is one of the highest forms of spiritual practice. Making others happy is an effective way to convey our own worth, gain a sense of value, and experience happiness. But are you truly experiencing this sense of value and happiness from it? It seems not. So where is the problem? It lies in our motivation. We pay attention to others' emotions not out of a desire for \"I am happy and I also want them to be happy,\" but out of a desire for \"I am not happy, I feel invaluable, and I hope to receive a feeling of love and acceptance by making them happy.\" In other words, we treat love and acceptance as a transaction. I must pay a price that causes me pain in order to receive it. And when we don't get the expected response, our inner balance is disrupted. This behavior pattern is an unhealthy, compulsive, and painful one. The formation of a people-pleasing personality is due to childhood trauma, specifically the lack of unconditional love from our original family. But I'm not asking you to blame your parents! That would only make us more miserable. Instead, let's explore the reasons behind this behavior and then find the right solutions to heal ourselves slowly, to become the person we want to be rather than the person we're forced to be. This is our ultimate goal. #Only when we make ourselves happy, when we have inner strength, can we pass on happiness to others. Everyone has their own life issues to face. Our main issue at the moment is the self-healing of our people-pleasing personality. It's a long but meaningful journey. Once you embark on this path, you will gradually discover that your pain is slowly dissipating, and you will learn to love yourself more and more. Here are a few suggestions: 1) Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is being aware of your present state without biases or a closed mindset. Because our thoughts are often clouded by past \"traumas\" and the fear of being rejected, criticized, or even denied if we don't please others, through mindfulness, we can establish a connection with our bodies and minds, and bravely face difficult experiences, including the feeling when the emotions of needing to please others overwhelm us. 2) Remember that our thoughts are just thoughts, not facts: Through a period of mindfulness practice, we focus on the present moment. When pleaser thoughts arise in our minds, instead of immediately acting on them based on instinct, we gently greet them as an adult would greet a love-deprived child, saying, \"Oh, you're here! Hello!\" Rather than engaging with these thoughts, because behind them is the love-deprived version of yourself! If we resist these thoughts, we are essentially rejecting our past selves. But what is wrong with the love-deprived child? They only want unconditional love. 3) You have the power to give unconditional love to this love-deprived child within you: Regardless of our age, when we realize that we are responsible for our own lives and that we want to make ourselves happy, we actually have the ability to take care of this love-deprived child. When there aren't so many ups and downs within you, set aside a \"Children's Day\" for yourself. On this day, do what the child inside you wanted to do at that time, spend time with them, talk to them, and assure them that you will meet their needs and give them unconditional love. Because this unconditional love already exists within us, we just accidentally lost it when we were young. When you can give yourself happiness, you will find it easy and joyful to bring happiness to others. However, whether others truly receive this happiness is up to them! It is their responsibility, not ours. Lastly, I hope that in the future, you can truly be happy and truly find joy in the process of bringing happiness to others!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 700
       },
       {
        "question": "I am in my third year of high school, and recently I have been feeling overwhelmed and unable to focus on studying. Could this be a mental health issue?",
        "description": "The college entrance examination is approaching, but recently I feel like giving up. I feel very uncomfortable and low in mood. In the past week, I have been impatient with my friends and even had a falling out with my best friend because of my irritability. My mindset is exploding and I can no longer concentrate. I thought about seeking counseling at the psychological counseling center, but I am introverted and too timid to go. I feel like I'm going crazy. Do I have a psychological problem?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear questioner! Thank you for inviting me to answer! I understand your current feelings and mood very well. I have experienced the stress of the college entrance examination twice before, and that excessive concern and anxiety can push us in the opposite direction of our desires. It's terrible \u2013 irritability, anger, impulsiveness, even friends may be affected. Everything is planned, but everything seems to deviate from the track. Here, I am also glad for you. In our time, we didn't understand psychology and didn't know how to seek help. The fact that you can think of and find this place shows that you are capable of learning and applying what you've learned to become independent and self-loving. High tension is also the right state, so there is no need to worry too much. The college entrance examination, how many people talk about it without changing their expression. Our current state is precisely because we care a lot about the college entrance examination. Uncle Kai once said that it is the right state to be nervous in important moments. It means that we have entered a stage of high focus on this matter, where our whole body, mind, and brain are all focused on this. The benefit of this is that it helps us utilize all our resources and energy to face and experience this matter. The downside is that it consumes too much energy and can have negative effects on our emotions. Understanding that high tension is the right state, we can pay less attention to this phenomenon. Knowing that it is like the wind and rain before the rainbow appears, it will naturally pass, and after it passes, there will be many beautiful things, just like the rainbow after the rain. Whether the one-month delay in the epidemic is a blessing or a disaster depends on our mindset. Each era has its unique memories. This year's epidemic has given all human beings a common memory. The college entrance examination during the epidemic, online classes, might be a historical anomaly that has no precedent. The policy given by the Ministry of Education, delaying the college entrance examination by one month, is seen by some as a blessing and by others as a disaster. Let's take a well-known example. Before Bai Niangzi transformed into a human form, she had to overcome the tribulation of thunder in the Jade Pool in order to succeed. Is that tribulation a blessing or a disaster? The answer should be obvious \u2013 without experiencing pain, there can be no improvement. So, let's follow suit and bravely await our tribulation. Of course, the test environment for the college entrance examination should be comfortable, at least not worse than our own classrooms. Ultimately, it's all about mindset. Take more deep breaths, insist on morning jogging exercises to keep your brain, heart, and body in a state of tension. Through the magical synergy, I believe you can experience the confidence that comes from having everything under control. Friendship is also tested, and it is a two-way street. To be selfish, the special task of the college entrance examination comes with certain high pressure. Under high pressure, everything is tested \u2013 our mental resilience, physical and academic results, as well as parents' mental and logistical abilities. Of course, friends around us are also being tested, whether they can help each other through the college entrance examination. Therefore, I believe that friendship at this stage should not be afraid of being tested. There should be more understanding between each other. Of course, this should not be an excuse to vent our anger on friends. Instead, we should be tolerant and understanding, encouraging and affirming each other's goals and learning strengths, helping to improve learning and overcome weaknesses. Since it is a two-way street, if there is a derailment, I think everything can be explained after the college entrance examination. Of course, if you realize there is a problem, it is best to explain it as soon as possible. Lifelong friends do not need too many, but at critical moments, they will definitely stand by our side, and we should also stand up for our friends when they need us. Just like the saying in the martial arts world, we would lay down our lives for a friend. It makes sense! .................................................. Comprehensive advice, for now, it is still important to relax your mood appropriately. When you are in a bad mood, exercise or indulge in your hobbies a little more. At this time, don't worry too much about wasting time because it's a waste to sharpen the axe without cutting the wood. Also, don't worry too much about mistakes, even in friendships or even romantic relationships. At this time, they should become like angels helping us, rather than blocking our path and demanding things from friends. Lastly, it is important to have clear goals in mind. When there is a goal, match it with confidence and determination. By focusing on the goal, you will naturally spend less time paying attention to other things. In the end, believe that there is luck beyond effort. Now, despite your efforts, leave the result to luck. No matter what, be satisfied with yourself. Wishing you all the best! May your dreams come true! When the sky is blue, life can be beautiful! The world is loved by me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: From your brief description, I can sense your irritability, confusion, and feelings of suffocation! Take a moment to relax, take deep breaths, listen to soothing music! Or engage in some moderate exercise, like running or playing sports, to alleviate your irritability and suffocation! I can feel your impatience, what else besides your friends is causing your impatience? Is it related to studying, family, or relationships with classmates? What is troubling you to the point where you can't concentrate on your studies? With the college entrance examination approaching, you can seek the help of a counselor to receive emotional adjustment and relaxation training, and adjust your mindset to prepare for the college entrance examination! Feel free to reach out to me for consultation, I hope I can be of help to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20550
       },
       {
        "question": "34 years old, about to have the first child, considering divorcing?",
        "description": "I used to think that my married life was going well. When she got pregnant, ever since the other night when she hit me because of a communication issue, I feel like I am a useless burden. Because we work in different towns, when I used to visit her, she would get angry and tell me to leave. Sometimes, even in front of my family, she would tell me to go away. I have always chosen to tolerate it and thought it wasn't necessary to argue with her. But until a few days ago when she hit me and left multiple scratches on my face, and then kicked me out in the middle of the night, and I ended up spending the night at a hotel, I finally realized that I am not important. Even though the baby is about to be born, I really feel like there is no need to persist anymore. I want to start over.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, and marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can understand the OP's feelings of depression, suffocation, loneliness, and discomfort. Being a husband who is physically abused by his own wife and being told to leave in front of his own relatives, it's a complete loss of face. Any man would find it difficult to understand, accept, and endure such a situation. Generally, when men encounter such situations, they feel angry and may argue or even resort to physical violence against their wives. As a wife, her words and actions are a denial, attack, insult, and disrespect towards her husband. It is pushing the boundaries and provoking her husband, or one could say it is tempting the OP to respond with the same violence, insults, and attacks as a way of communication. The OP's reaction has always been to tolerate and feel that it is unnecessary to argue with her. Perhaps, the OP feels that suppressing and tolerating can make his wife feel his love for her, and he hopes to gain her understanding, acceptance, and approval. However, for the wife, if her \"heavy blow\" is met with no response from her husband, it is either because her \"heavy blow\" lacks enough impact, or her husband has secretly practiced a \"golden armor\". In either case, it makes her feel rejected, denying her ability and value as an adult and a wife, causing her to feel extremely anxious and fearful. When the stress brought by these emotions exceeds the control of conscious self, it instinctively manifests in ways that conscious self cannot understand, accept, or approve, such as her physical abuse, scolding, and insults towards the OP. The communication and interaction between spouses are based on equality, respect, trust, understanding, acceptance, and approval of each other. These conditions are all necessary and any missing element would hinder the development of the emotional relationship between spouses. At the same time, in many cases, the communication between spouses can also influence each other. One party's words and actions can affect the psychological and emotional state of the other party, and vice versa. From the information provided by the OP, it can be seen that the communication between the OP and his wife lacks these conditions. Even the most basic element of equality and respect is absent. The wife is \"superior\" and can physically abuse and scold her husband, while the husband is \"inferior\" and submissive, suppressing and enduring. With such a \"distance\" between the two, how can there be a sense of safety, security, and stability in their interactions? How can it guarantee the stable and harmonious development of the emotional relationship between spouses? The OP wants a divorce now, which indeed allows him to no longer face the pain caused by his wife's violent treatment and the problems in their relationship. However, the issues in their communication and interaction will still persist and continue to affect the development of the OP's emotional and marital relationship. Therefore, I personally suggest that the OP make an appointment with a suitable therapist to receive systematic psychological counseling, to gradually solve the problems that trouble him, improve the way he communicates and interacts with his wife, and help stabilize and harmonize the emotional relationship between the OP and his wife.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, seeing your words is like seeing you in person. I can understand your feelings and sense that you feel disposable and relatively unimportant. However, I still hope that you can consider it carefully. First, before getting divorced, OP should think carefully about several questions. Why did something like this happen when the previous married life was good? Where exactly is the communication problem between the couple? Has all the past happiness disappeared? Do you not miss it at all now? The child is about to be born. What will happen to the child after the divorce? What are your plans after the divorce? Can't you tolerate your wife's current state? Why do you feel disposable? Second, analysis -- when she gets angry, she also tells me to leave and tells me to get lost in front of my family. From OP's words, it can be seen that OP's wife is a relatively irritable person, but OP has mentioned that you had a good relationship in the past, which shows that you were able to accept certain shortcomings of your wife. In the state of anger, many people are irrational and don't think too much. A few days ago, she hit me and scratched my face in several places, and she kicked me out in the middle of the night. From OP's words, it is unclear whether OP's wife has always been irritable or has become irritable since getting pregnant. She even injured OP. Third, during pregnancy, pregnant women are prone to unstable emotions and temper. Perhaps OP doesn't know that each pregnant woman is different during pregnancy, but many pregnant women are emotionally unstable and easily get angry. After getting pregnant, the hormones in a woman's body change, causing the pregnant woman's emotions to become more sensitive and affecting their mental state. If it is serious, they may even experience \"prepartum depression.\" In addition, this is your wife's first pregnancy, so the pressure on women increases and they may fear that something might go wrong with the baby. Many expectant mothers feel anxious because they worry that they won't be able to handle the role of a new mother, or they may have fear of childbirth, leading to emotional instability and easily getting angry. During pregnancy, the emotions of pregnant women can be overly sensitive, and sometimes even slight improper communication can make them feel a little aggrieved, even if you feel it's not a big deal or she didn't think it was a big deal before, many emotions can be exaggerated during pregnancy. A few suggestions: Stay calm and communicate harmoniously. Since you and your wife don't live in the same town, there may be communication problems, resulting in your thoughts being different and not fully in sync. Put yourself in her shoes, think from her perspective, and communicate harmoniously with your wife, letting her know your needs and your attitude. The child is about to be born. If possible, I don't recommend getting divorced. This is not only being irresponsible to the family and the child, but also to yourself. Understand your wife and find your own value. You mentioned several times that you feel disposable, so you need to do a self-evaluation. In fact, during your wife's pregnancy, the husband plays a very important role. During pregnancy, wives really hope to receive understanding and love from their husbands, and to have their husbands by their side to listen to their complaints or vent their stress. So sometimes you shouldn't take your wife's words too seriously, she may just say something without really meaning it. Have a correct understanding and open-mindedness. Deal with your wife's actions correctly. You mentioned \"wanting a rebirth\" in your words, but do you know, being together as a couple, getting married and having children is not easy. It's not like being in a romantic relationship, where you only talk about the beautiful moments. In a marriage, there will always be some difficulties that cannot be avoided. If you can get married, it means that both you and your wife are capable of accepting each other's minor flaws and have gone through a period of adjustment. Understanding and mutual consideration are truly necessary in a marriage. As the saying goes, \"It takes a hundred years to build a ship to sail together, and a thousand years to build a pillow to sleep together.\" Hope you will carefully consider it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Although people often say that they should encourage reconciliation rather than separation, some fundamental issues still need to be communicated clearly in advance. 1. Physical aggression is truly the bottom line. Most of the time, people subconsciously believe that domestic violence is something done by men, but there are indeed many unreasonable women in life. Therefore, we can reflect on our own problems first, after all, some things are definitely brought about by our own indulgence. The poster mentioned that the other party was spoiled since childhood, so she does not consider the feelings of others in many matters. Therefore, in certain situations, she will act recklessly, especially when it comes to physical aggression - if it happens once, it will happen again. Therefore, this time we must be firm. Some things can be tolerated, but some things are the bottom line. Of course, in this process, we must protect ourselves and prevent the other party from doing something extreme that may harm herself or the child. We really cannot resort to physical aggression, but when the other party's emotions are unstable, we should also show a bit of assertiveness and let them know where our bottom line is. Sometimes, accommodating is not love. 2. Some problems need to be faced together. It is evident that the other party is indeed dominant. If we truly want a divorce, will the other party compromise? Moreover, there are still some restrictions on getting a divorce during pregnancy. If the relationship between both parties can be improved or adjusted, is the poster willing to start over again? We can recall whether both parties had a certain emotional foundation before and at what point did they become somewhat incompatible? If there was no emotional connection and understanding right from the beginning, it would indeed be very difficult to change. We need to be prepared for the worst. If there were only some changes that occurred later, we can find a time to calmly discuss and talk about future plans with the other party. See if they can accept them and then proceed with the next adjustment. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I saw your distress and I hope to offer you some warmth. You described your wife as hot-tempered and even physically abusive. Your first child is about to be born and you are considering divorce. First of all, I want to say that domestic violence is wrong regardless of gender, and in severe cases, it can be reported to the police. Now, let's analyze your wife's behavior. Was she always like this from the beginning or did something happen that caused her to change? If she was like this from the beginning, why were you able to accept her before but not now? Besides, your child is about to be born. If something happened that caused her to change, you need to address the underlying issues. If her behavior changed because she is pregnant, it could be due to hormonal influences and she may be feeling distressed. Have you taken good care of her and understood the difficulties of pregnancy? Carrying a child for ten months is extremely exhausting for a woman, and that child is also yours, so you don't have to bear any physical hardships. However, you can sincerely show care and concern for her, and she will be able to feel it. There is no inexplicable hatred or love in this world. If your marriage can still be salvaged, try to communicate with your wife, figure out where the problem lies. Your child is about to be born, and divorcing now would be extremely cruel for your wife. If there is hope for reconciliation, I encourage you to give it your best effort. Stay strong and good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I sympathize with you and understand your distress. When we are conducting couples therapy, our goal is not just to address the present issues, but to find deeper problems within the marital relationship, specifically whether each other's attachment needs are being met. When exploring the attachment needs of both parties, we must first determine which type of attachment relationship each belongs to. Attachment relationships are influenced by one's upbringing and significant attachment figures (parents, caregivers, siblings), and these attachment styles tend to persist throughout one's life, particularly manifesting in marital relationships in adulthood. The current state of your relationship with your wife may appear to be caused by various events and personality differences, but in reality, it is the emotional connection between you two that is experiencing problems. Healthy marital relationships primarily depend on a close emotional bond between partners. Even if partners have completely different personalities, a strong intimate bond can be maintained. This requires both individuals to maintain a positive and constructive interaction pattern. Specifically, both individuals should be able to express their attachment needs without obstacles, and both should be able to see and actively respond to each other's needs. Even if their viewpoints differ, they should be able to accept and understand each other, soothe each other's emotions, and pay attention to the underlying needs and desires. By doing so, conflicts can be timely resolved and problems can be addressed in a more positive manner. Therefore, I hope that you can sincerely recognize your own inner needs and honestly express them to your wife. At the same time, try to understand your wife's true needs and respond positively. By changing the established interaction patterns, perhaps your relationship can take a turn for the better. After all, with the imminent arrival of a child, it is crucial to actively repair the emotional connection and provide a complete and happy family for the child.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have finished reading your description. There are a few things I would like to clarify. First, you mentioned that in the past, you felt that your relationship with your spouse was quite good. However, later you mentioned that your wife would directly insult you in front of your family or at work when she was angry. These two pieces of information contradict each other. Can you help me clarify again? On one hand, you say that the relationship between you and your spouse is good, but on the other hand, she insults you without regard for your dignity. It just doesn't seem right. Secondly, the relationship between you and your spouse should have gone through a process to develop to the current situation. From the beginning of your relationship until now, what behaviors and words of yours do you think have caused her to become worse? I see a change in her behavior from your description. Have you ever thought about why this change occurred? Thirdly, how much do you understand about the psychological changes that occur in a pregnant woman during pregnancy? Divorce is not difficult; it can be resolved with a trip to the civil affairs bureau. However, it does not guarantee a fresh start for you. Even after the divorce, there may be various disputes that need to be resolved. It would be better to postpone this decision for now. Let's see what you can do first. In your description, you mention that your spouse is dominant, and accordingly, you appear weak. Of course, you can give yourself a reasonable explanation, such as not caring about petty matters, being tolerant as a man, and so on. But you have also seen that things have not been developing in a positive direction. This proves that your behavior and thinking need to change. How did you react when the problem first arose and she crossed the line? If you tolerate it the first time, there will be a second time, and even a third time, and the next time she will become more and more outrageous. This is your current situation. You now feel that you are dispensable, but in her eyes, your behavior does not make you a man. Do you understand this? This is also the tragedy of a good man. From a male perspective, you are not a bad person, and many of your actions are those of a good man. I believe you have also seen a joke, when a girl rejects a guy, what does he say? He says, \"You're a good person, I don't deserve you.\" But think about it, does she really think you're a good person and feel unworthy of you? This is why I want you to put the idea of divorce on hold, because even if you choose this path, it doesn't mean your behavior patterns will change, and it doesn't mean you will avoid the same things happening in the future. If you don't take the time to think about which behaviors and thoughts have led to your current situation, you may fall into the same pit in the future. The female brain has an instinctive detection system. It's called a loser test. This detection system will test you from time to time. If you respond well to her and pass the test, she will stop, but if you fail the test, the frequency will increase. You need to understand how she perceives you. In conclusion, you lack a certain aura and masculine leadership. The ultimate outcome of allowing a woman to always take the lead is that she will lose interest.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: Previously, your married life was quite good, so why has her temper become a bit bigger after getting pregnant? She gets angry easily and even becomes physically violent towards you. You feel like you want to divorce because you feel dispensable. I suggest that you don't rush to make a decision, OP. When she gets angry, you feel unfairly treated. I recommend that you communicate calmly and well. You are going to be a father soon, so think carefully whether you really want a divorce. First, I suggest understanding why a pregnant woman's temper changes. After pregnancy, due to the influence of estrogen and progesterone, as well as hCG levels, pregnant women sometimes feel irritable and depressed. Nausea and aversion to oily foods during pregnancy can also affect a pregnant woman's mood. Additionally, pregnant women are more emotionally fragile, and at this time, they hope that their husband and people around them will pay more attention to them. So, OP, you need more understanding and tolerance. I suggest you spend more time with her. No matter what happens and no matter what she says, give her the best care. Take some time to go for a walk with her or listen to music together. Doing some light exercise can also help relieve stress. I believe you will get through this difficult period. Wishing you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, it seems that your wife has a somewhat irritable temperament and does not give you face in front of your family. She gets angry whenever she wants and you feel that you are dispensable. I'm not sure if your wife's behavior is due to her pregnancy or if it is her natural personality. If it is due to pregnancy, she may be experiencing some prenatal depression and mood swings. During pregnancy, every mother's physiological reactions and personality can undergo changes, so she needs your care and understanding. If it is her natural personality, I suggest expressing your feelings to your wife, letting her know that you don't like being treated this way and that it makes you feel dispensable. Try to suppress thoughts of divorce for now, as expectant mothers cannot handle too much emotional upheaval. When the child is born, have a good conversation with your wife, without being too assertive or feeling overly aggrieved. Try to communicate calmly and rationally. Once you become parents, every decision you make together is important.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12380
       },
       {
        "question": "High school studying, changed to a new desk and new teacher, feeling very irritable and uncomfortable recently, what should I do?",
        "description": "I did well in my first year of high school and could rank in the top 100 of my grade. In my sophomore year, I got a new desk mate and a new teacher. Now, I don't know why, but I find myself dozing off in class every day, unable to finish my homework, and I don't have time to review or prepare for lessons. I'm falling behind in my understanding of the subject matter. I don't even talk to my desk mate anymore. Initially, we used to chat, but I realized she is very selfish. When I feel sleepy in class, she doesn't remind me, even if the teacher notices me, she doesn't say anything. She doesn't inform me about any important class announcements. She won't even let me know when it's time to turn in assignments. And she is so disciplined and smart, understanding the lessons every day and completing her assignments. I feel even more useless being around her, and it makes me feel upset and irritated. In the mid-term exam, she ranked second in the class, while I ranked 40th...",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey there, I feel you, based on what you described, you seem really dissatisfied with some of your desk mate's actions. You feel like there's a lack of camaraderie and warmth among classmates, and you don't like people who ignore others' difficulties and are irresponsible. I truly sympathize with your situation. According to your description, you've been facing difficulties in your studies recently and really want someone to help or guide you. You may be hoping your desk mate could play that role, but maybe not everything can go as planned. We shouldn't expect others to take responsibility for our own matters too much. Maybe the other person isn't as indifferent as you think. It could be just because your relationship hasn't developed to a close level yet, and they may not know how accepting you are towards them. So, they might not want to do anything that could potentially restrict you and are following a moderate social boundary. Perhaps you can find an opportunity to communicate with them, ask their opinion, or if they'd be willing to remind you about assignments and not falling asleep. Maybe after getting to know each other better, you can break the barrier and develop a deep friendship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1509
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I stop arguing and hurting others?",
        "description": "Junior year, female student, recently had a homework assignment that led to inconsistent opinions and couldn't persuade my classmates to agree with my own viewpoint. It has also resulted in a strain on our relationship. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, roommates and classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, in a group setting, it is normal to have different opinions on the same matter. Continue to communicate until both sides reach a mutual agreement or one side acknowledges the other. From your description, it can be observed that conflicts and contradictions have arisen due to disagreements with your classmates, which have affected your relationship. Try to communicate with the other person again, clearly express your views on the assignment, and highlight the benefits and strengths of your own approach. Also, allow the other person to express their opinions and try to think from their perspective. It is difficult for us to consider a problem from the other person's point of view due to our inherent thinking patterns, unless we consciously remind ourselves to see the problem from their perspective. However, our own opinions still carry greater weight. On the basis of ensuring sufficient communication, both of you can compromise and incorporate each other's opinions into the assignment, finding a middle-ground solution, while also eliminating unnecessary elements or areas of major disagreement. Since both of you value your own thought processes, it is understandable that you may be unwilling to concede. That is why it is important to include efforts and contributions from both parties in the assignment. Additionally, it is important to communicate with the other person that the assignment is just an assignment. Even if neither of you ultimately compromises with the other, agree not to let it affect your relationship. You both need to face the assignment together, rather than considering each other as enemies. Separating the issue from the emotions involved may also help in dealing with the assignment. Actively discussing and considering each other's perspectives will certainly lead to shared opinions. Maintain an open attitude towards your own ideas about the assignment, accept others' opinions, and preserve your own. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20722
       },
       {
        "question": "I hope I don't have any family members, so that no one will take care of me and I won't have to be so afraid.",
        "description": "Family refers to my grandmother, mother, and father. My parents divorced when I was 1 year old. I was raised by my aunt since I was young, so I can say that I have been living aimlessly. It has been 3 years since I graduated, and I can say that I am careless about life, and life is careless about me. I graduated from junior college, and my unstable personality has always been a barrier for me in terms of work. I am afraid of facing society, and even more afraid of the criticism from others in society. I am afraid of being hurt by others. My child is over a year old, and I have not been a good role model as a mother. I have very little initiative, and my family says that I am lazy, and that my husband will not be able to support me for a lifetime. Although my husband is okay with me and accepts my history of mental illness, I may focus too much on gains and losses. I attach too much importance to other people's rejection, so my emotions are always up and down. I hate my sensitivity and I cannot see a future. My mother said she will beat me when I go back for the Lunar New Year, and my father has a severe mental disorder and is violent. I hope they die so that no one will control me anymore, and I won't be so scared. I really feel powerless.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The lack of emotional connection and patterns of interaction from childhood makes us feel insecure, even now that we have become mothers ourselves, we still worry about bad things happening. Firstly, if our parents resort to violence, we are no longer children and we can choose to leave or resist. Although our parents gave us life, it does not mean they have the right to do whatever they want. We can start by becoming psychologically independent. Now that we are mothers, I believe we do not want our children to follow the same path, so we need to eliminate certain methods of parenting from within ourselves. Secondly, being a full-time housewife, it is indeed difficult to find a job during breastfeeding period, but it is not appropriate to put all the financial pressure on our husband. If there is an opportunity and our parents-in-law can help take care of the child, we can go out and find a job to realize our own worth and achieve financial freedom. Lastly, it is important to have conversations with our husband and plan for our shared future, such as our child's education and the family's future development. We should not rely on each other for everything, we can work together to find solutions and overcome challenges. Our little family is maintained by ourselves, and we can face and overcome problems together. Don't worry, you are not alone, you have your children and your husband who love you. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3269
       },
       {
        "question": "My parents scold me, and my relatives also look down on me. I feel really tired of living. What should I do?",
        "description": "It's really mentally exhausting to live like this. My father and mother scold me and look down on me. Even my relatives look down on me.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, we can understand the following: 1. OP feels that their parents and relatives look down on them. 2. OP feels sad and upset about this, lacking motivation. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Other people's opinions of oneself sometimes have subjective distortions based on their own mood at the time. Do OP's parents and relatives really look down on them completely? Is there really nothing about OP that they appreciate? OP needs to think about this themselves or directly communicate with their parents and relatives, sincerely asking for their opinions of oneself, and what are their strengths and weaknesses. Then, make improvements accordingly. 2. Moreover, even if OP's parents and relatives have certain opinions of OP due to various reasons, it does not mean that OP is a terrible person. OP's future is in their own hands, and they are also a multifaceted individual. Their parents and relatives only have knowledge of the part of OP's life at home, and they may only see OP's shortcomings or exaggerate certain mistakes OP has made. It is important for OP to reflect on what kind of person they are and take action accordingly. Hope this is helpful to OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13579
       },
       {
        "question": "What is true love? I have been with my boyfriend for over two years, but I still don't know what it truly means.",
        "description": "I have been with my boyfriend for over two years, but because he is my first love, I don't know if I truly love him. Sometimes I think this is good, we understand each other and he accommodates me. But I am really scared that one day he won't treat me well anymore, so I don't dare to fully invest myself. Until now, I don't know if I love him or not, and I don't know what it feels like to truly love someone.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Congratulations on gaining a first love that is destined to be profound and lasting. I think this might be a bit like traveling to a new place, fearing missing out on something, fearing getting lost, and wanting to quickly and efficiently acquire local knowledge. I believe you really want to cherish this romantic relationship, right? If so, you can imagine two scenarios: if your future self from 10 years later came back to the present, what tips would she give you? And if your future self from 30 years later came back, what would she say to you? I hope you can enjoy the process earlier and wait patiently for the flowers to bloom and the fruits to ripen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1555
       },
       {
        "question": "17-year-old girl, always thinking about doing that kind of thing? Dislike herself for being like this.",
        "description": "It used to be okay, sometimes I would reminisce and masturbate. Lately, the desire is getting stronger and stronger, it suddenly comes, and then I would search for manga novels myself and masturbate while reading. No matter what the environment or situation is, once the desire arises, I can't suppress it. I also fantasize about having a man do those things to me in real life, but I am too scared, and I have no intention of dating, yet I really want it. Is there something wrong with my mental health? What should I do? I am very worried, every time I act like that, I really hate myself.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexual desire, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug hug, we don't have any mental problems, just that after suddenly coming into contact with certain things, we may have certain associations, so sometimes it makes it difficult for us to think calmly. 1. Masturbation is something that most people engage in. Since we didn't receive proper sex education when we were young, and our elders also avoided talking about sex openly, when we first encountered it, it felt like we were opening a new door for ourselves. And everyone's level of desire is different, so we shouldn't label ourselves deliberately. Teenagers who engage in masturbation are not bad kids in the eyes of others. In fact, many people have similar behaviors during adolescence, but everyone suppresses their emotions, and due to some external views, we believe that this behavior is immoral. In fact, masturbation is understandable, but we need to learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy, and sometimes we need to pay attention to the occasion, after all, some things are quite private. 2. Sometimes we need to learn to distinguish clearly. In fact, many comics and novels are deliberately exaggerated, because people are curious, and the more suppressed we are, the more other desires we will have. So what we see is just a trigger, but we shouldn't act on it easily, because some things may not be true. Just like when we read some fantasy novels, we can have different images and scenes in our minds through the description in the text, but many adaptation dramas produced in reality cannot meet our expectations because each reader has their own ideas. Desire is something that many people engage in, but sometimes we also need a little rationality, understand what we truly want, and learn to protect ourselves. Of course, in the future, if you have any troubles, you can talk to Xiaofan Guoguo, we can find a solution together. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This kind of thing is very normal. We humans all have the right to enjoy the pleasures in life. Being excessively attached only indicates a lack of self-discipline. It's not that there's something wrong with you; it may be that your life is relatively boring and monotonous. I suggest finding some new and interesting hobbies for yourself. For example, I enjoy doing bullet journaling and playing with colored clay. When your attention is diverted to other beautiful things, your day will become more colorful, and naturally, your desire for such things will decrease, sweetheart. You're great, keep striving to make yourself even better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13690
       },
       {
        "question": "Did I join the wrong group? Can psychology make people speak in plain language?",
        "description": "Staying in a psychology group, when the host asked everyone to introduce themselves and communicate with each other, it seemed like everyone was being pretentious, using various jargon that was incomprehensible, and showing off in various ways, as if they were trying to prove who was more impressive. But very few people talked about their feelings or their learning experiences. Looking at this, I started to wonder if I joined the wrong group. Isn't communication about understanding, listening, and feeling each other? Or perhaps those who act pretentious actually have feelings and thoughts that they can't express?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, social networking applications",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "A month ago, I had the same distress as you. Joining a psychology group was to communicate and share with others, to understand others' learning progress, and to share my own experiences. I couldn't understand why those people in the group always talked about some high-level things. After observing and summarizing the group members' speeches over a month, I found that this situation was caused by the diversity and large number of members in the group. The group I joined had over a hundred people, and there were five to ten active speakers every day. It was considered an active group. During group study and discussions, due to the close relationships among members, the chat content could be more in-depth and specific. However, in a large group, people didn't know each other, so when speaking, they needed to explain the cause and effect and couldn't achieve a telepathic understanding. That's why specialized terminology plays a role in simplifying conversation by describing the cause and effect. Because these specialized terms are common codes used by psychology students, they don't need much explanation; everyone can understand their meanings and start chatting happily. For those who don't understand, they can search on Baidu to find answers. So, using specialized terms is not showing off. If you don't understand these contents, you can learn and understand them bravely, and overcome this barrier. Keep it up! If you want to get feedback on your studies or enjoy more in-depth, specific, and private communication, I suggest forming a small group and finding some peers who are at a similar learning stage to carry out themed readings of books.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 84,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 84,
            "end": 171,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 171,
            "end": 341,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 341,
            "end": 389,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 389,
            "end": 464,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10914
       },
       {
        "question": "What does it mean when a man says to a woman \"I am willing to do things for you willingly\"?",
        "description": "The relationship is generally normal, without any ambiguity. The man is much older than the woman, and both have families.",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, attachment and dependence, affection.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I think it is difficult for us to give you a definite answer to your question, but since you have raised this question, I suggest that you do some self-reflection: You can try to answer the following questions: 1. What specific things does this man mean when he says \"I am willing to do things for you\"? 2. Since you have this thought and doubt, what do you think is the purpose of the other person's willingness to help you? Or what do you hope the other person's thoughts are? You also mentioned that there is no ambiguity between the two of you, and you both have families. Is it possible that you are overthinking? I suggest that you don't get too anxious and nervous, maybe it's just mutual help, right? The world and I love you, blessings to you, Jingjing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The listener might not have intentions, but the speaker does. If the listener doesn't perceive any ambiguity, what about the speaker? Do they also think the same way? If both parties are in relationships, it is recommended to maintain a certain distance. Just because you have no intentions doesn't mean the speaker doesn't either. Both parties have families, so it's important to be mindful of the boundaries when speaking to avoid unnecessary worries at home, right? When the person uttered that sentence, aren't you also pondering its meaning now? Since you already have doubts, it's better to approach with caution.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16084
       },
       {
        "question": "How to protect oneself and children from family conflicts?",
        "description": "My mother-in-law is very dominant. Both my father-in-law and mother-in-law conspire against me, especially when they have their own agenda. They constantly use underhanded tactics and bully me. My husband doesn't stand up for me, instead he listens to his mother. I'm particularly afraid of her. My mother-in-law once said that as long as she is around, she won't let me cause trouble. She never stops to consider what she's doing. She often tries to sow discord. Even though it's them who started bullying, they always blame me. When I got married, they cheated me out of the bride price and didn't give it to me. After getting married, they kept coming to my house to cause trouble. When my father passed away, they acted indifferent as if it had nothing to do with them. After having a child, the three of them conspired to destroy the bond between me and my child. Whatever I say is wrong, but whatever they say is right. They won't let my child eat anything I prepare, but they give my child anything they want without saying anything. I'm very angry. Every time I argue with my husband, my in-laws come out and stare at me, trying to intimidate me and suppress me. What should I do? I really want a divorce.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, family control, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There are generally two approaches to solving a dilemma. One is to solve it externally, such as in the case of the OP facing seemingly unsolvable family conflict, they can divorce as they suggested, so at least their family cannot bully them anymore. Alternatively, they can seek powerful external assistance, making sure they are treated well. It is important to see if there are sufficient external resources available to resolve the dilemma. The other approach is to solve it internally, which few people choose because facing oneself can be painful. However, the benefit is that you will have autonomy and control over the situation, as it will change based on your own changes. Based on what you mentioned about your husband not supporting you and instead listening to his mother, it seems like both of you are still in a childish state of \"he is not married, you are not married\". In describing the situation, you actually avoided discussing your own behavior and responsibility in the current relationship status. For example, I wonder what role you play in their eyes that makes them feel the need to concentrate their efforts and come up with strategies to deal with you. I am just giving an example because the relationships involved here could be very complex, and because you also mentioned your own family, many of the feelings you have may not solely belong to you. Every dilemma is an opportunity; it just requires facing it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16594
       },
       {
        "question": "Why didn't so many things in my childhood leave me with any emotional scars, despite my fragile mental state?",
        "description": "I suddenly remembered now that I experienced so many terrible things in my childhood, why didn't they cause a serious impact on me? For example, one day when I was sleeping, I suddenly found my cousin lying on my bed and I wasn't wearing pants. I was 14 years old that year and I was scared, so I ran to my grandmother's room. For example, when I went to my aunt's house with my grandmother, I encountered a kind stranger who gave me a ride. Because the motorcycle was carrying goods, I could only sit next to him and he reached his hand below me. I was afraid, so I got off the car before reaching my grandmother and waited for her. For example, the father of the girl next door would always speak inappropriately to me when there was no one around. There was even one time when I passed by their bathroom, he exposed himself and I quickly fled disgusted. And there was an old man behind my house who lacked respect for the elderly and tricked me into going to his room. I panicked and ran out again. There was also a middle-aged uncle in the village, a lame man. We usually went to the river together to pick snails to sell. One time in the river, it seemed like he touched me. Why haven't these things affected me?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, and the meaning of life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sexuality is a natural instinct of human beings. So, it is normal for men to behave that way towards you. It is just a matter of character and moral cultivation. People with good character choose to leave you and keep their distance. People with good moral cultivation would not do such things. Only those with weak willpower cannot resist exposing their true nature. When those people treat you that way, it automatically triggers your self-protection awareness, which is also good for you and others. In life, it is unavoidable to encounter obstacles. Although you can avoid those people who treat you that way, there may be some people whom you cannot escape from, and they will treat you the same way. The reason why these things have not affected you is because you have not reached that stage that would affect you. If you haven't experienced it, don't fantasize about going through it and see if you can escape from it. You should know that the reason why doctors can cure various diseases is not because they have the ability to predict the future or have clairvoyance. It is because many people have suffered from certain diseases, and by treating those people, doctors have developed methods and experience. If the things you have experienced would affect you, then all the girls in the world would have psychological problems.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ma'am, thank you for your recognition and invitation. When I read your description of the things you have experienced, I also feel that they may have more or less influenced your inner feelings in interpersonal interactions. It's a good thing that you say it hasn't affected you. I'm just curious, if it hasn't affected you, why would you think of and leave these things in a comment here?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5420
       },
       {
        "question": "How to overcome psychological trauma when precious metals are trapped and cut, and the market reverses three days later?",
        "description": "Making a deal on precious metals with colleagues, I suffered a huge loss of over ten thousand yuan by selling at a high price. I kept the loss a secret from my colleagues and family. Unexpectedly, the market reversed two days later, and I couldn't bear the shock. I didn't dare to disclose the truth to my colleagues or family and silently endured the regret. My focus at work has been affected, and I feel hopeless. How can I overcome this psychological shadow?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive feelings, anxious feelings, guilt and shame.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If there were no reversal, and even the market became worse, you would definitely be glad about your wise decision. But now that there's a reversal, you are starting to feel uncomfortable. Have you realized it? These two situations do not make any economic difference to you, as the substantial loss of tens of thousands is a fact regardless of the reversal. Therefore, what makes you distressed is merely the difference in mindset. If there were no reversal, you would think, \"Luckily I cut my losses, I am truly wise.\" If there is a reversal, you would think, \"Why am I so foolish? I'm not suited for investing, I've never seen someone as foolish as you, couldn't you wait a little longer?\" If only I had persevered, then... Can you see it? The reason you're in pain is that after making your decision, your inner self is filled with blame, regret, and self-doubt. These voices make you feel very uncomfortable. Of course, you feel distressed because you've lost money and also because you're being blamed! We often say that for things we cannot change, we must learn to accept and let go. Pain will inevitably exist for a period of time, but if possible, please stop criticizing and blaming yourself, try to see the successful investment experiences you've had in the past, try to see that even though you've lost tens of thousands, you've made profits in the past, so on balance, the loss doesn't seem significant. And this relatively small loss has allowed you to gain valuable investment experience again. Without such an experience, perhaps the next time you cut losses, the loss would be more than tens of thousands. Return to your original intention, why do you want to make money? To be happy, to create a better life. But it seems that you're not happy now, just because of one failed attempt at making money, you've made yourself like this. What happened to creating a better life? Think about it, while money is important, without money, if you also lose your health, wouldn't the loss be even greater? Aren't you more important than money?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The market is merciless, and I sympathize with the sufferings of the original poster. I have made the same mistake before, but I confessed in the end and received forgiveness from my family. I hope the original poster will quickly regain their spirits. [Mental setback - Making the same mistake twice and feeling regretful] \u2460 Contrary trend: Investing in the market is to make money, but when the market trend goes against expectations, it leads to a psychological discrepancy. \u2461 Cutting losses - Bearing the burden alone: The market situation makes the original poster feel that their investment is a wrong decision, so they want to correct it by cutting losses. \u2462 Feeling regretful: After the original poster cuts losses, the market starts to reverse, making them realize that cutting losses was a mistake and causing them to feel regret while suffering significant losses. [Unsolvable problem - Caught between a rock and a hard place] In the situation of making the same mistake twice and feeling regret, the original poster also faces the challenge of bearing substantial losses and solving the problem. \u2460 Going forward - Facing the problem directly: Being honest with family members and colleagues would prove that their actions were wrong, which is embarrassing and may lead to ridicule from others, while also potentially affecting the happiness of their family and marriage. \u2461 Retreating - Keeping it hidden: Based on the current reactions, the original poster's choice is to not be able to focus on work, feeling discouraged, which is obviously a great psychological test. In the middle of going forward or retreating, the original poster continues to invest in precious metals to recover the losses, but this single-minded approach will likely lead to even greater mistakes and severely impact the family. [Problem-solving methods are the best medicine] In the process of our personal growth, we usually develop in a linear manner, encountering problems, solving them, and then continuing to grow. However, when faced with unsolvable problems, we often resort to indirect and circuitous ways to solve them. From the current situation, if the losses do not have a significant impact on the family, being honest with family members is the least damaging way to the family and allows the original poster to avoid significant psychological pressure. However, if the losses are of a significant amount to the family and are unacceptable to loved ones, especially the spouse, it could also affect the marriage. I advise the original poster to use caution.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear Friend: Good afternoon! It seems like you have just experienced a \"roller coaster of life.\" The stock market is indeed a very exciting place, and I have seen it too. Hmm, you have lost money, which is definitely a cause of anxiety for you. Several hundred thousand is a significant amount for an average person. Dealing with such a big issue alone must make you feel very lonely. You are unable to focus on work now, so you must be brooding over this matter. I see your difficulties and pain. Let's analyze why this happened. 1. The greater the loss, the greater the emotional fluctuations, as I mentioned earlier, the loss amount is not small, and it is normal for you to feel worried and anxious about it. 2. You dare not tell your family and friends because you are afraid they won't understand you and might even blame you for trying to take shortcuts. 3. You are unable to focus on work because you are still brooding over this matter and have lost confidence in the future and yourself. It's okay, let's solve this problem together. [Firstly], let go of shame. Perhaps this failure has made you feel embarrassed. Actually, we come to Earth to learn, to learn about love, to learn to support ourselves, and to learn many things. In this process, there will always be failures, and failure is not a punishment from God, but a way for us to continue striving to do better. Failure and mistakes are also part of our learning. You don't need to blame yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws, and we are all learning, you know? [Secondly], appreciate your past self. I believe you have had successful investments in the past, and you have done things very well and been successful. Look, this is something you can be proud of and praise yourself for. It is your efforts that have made all of this happen. Appreciate yourself! [Thirdly], implement proper risk management. Although I am not an investment expert, I know that stocks and funds come with risks. It is best to gather information and control risks before investing. You learn from experiences and mistakes, and this is more important than self-blame! [Fourthly], there will always be plenty of money in the world. Even though you have lost money, there is still an endless amount of money in this world, so you don't need to worry. If you fail, you can start over! [Fifthly], there are many things in life that bring you happiness and joy. Apart from money, there is also a healthy body, delicious food, fluttering butterflies, beautiful seasonal views, children's laughter, people's greetings, blooming flowers... these are all worth seeing and experiencing. Always look on the bright side. Best wishes! Your friend, Audrey.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "A few hundred thousand yuan is not a small amount for many people, and I believe it must have been hard-earned for you, the original poster. In the precious metal trading, being trapped at a high position and cutting losses to exit the market can make hard-earned money disappear in an instant, casting a shadow over your head. From the description, I see several layers of problems. Firstly, the most expensive metal investment was done together with colleagues. This involves interpersonal relationships, and I don't know who was leading whom. In China, everyone has their own social circle, which can provide resources and information but can also intensify harm. Many people prefer to work with acquaintances. Success brings temporary happiness, but failure not only hurts financially but also impacts interpersonal relationships. If you and your colleagues all suffer losses, the feeling may be slightly better. However, if others have made profits while you have incurred losses, the comparison makes the blow not limited to money. Secondly, there is an economic loss because it's unclear where you obtained the few hundred thousand yuan from. If it was borrowed or secretly taken from home, as well as the comparison between this sum of money and your income, and how much you value money, all of these will determine the extent of your pain. Thirdly, you sold at a high price to cut losses, but a few days later, the market reverses, leading to regret on top of heartache. Therefore, the stimulation is multi-layered, and the emotional reactions it generates are complex. In this distressing situation, your coping strategy is to silently bear the resentment and not express it. Perhaps it is because of your personality that you handle problems on your own, which reflects how difficult it is for you. Many people will give you direct advice, but I think if you don't understand the various emotions that arise when facing setbacks and your own ways of coping, all advice will be ineffective. What does this mean? It means that in order to solve your current situation, you need to shift your focus back to yourself and use objective inquiry, critical thinking, and decision-making to help yourself. Firstly, objectively inquire about the problem: multiple types of stimulation, economic losses, subtle changes in interpersonal relationships, and the resulting emotions are inevitable, and the intensity is not low. We will doubt ourselves, regret our past decisions, have difficulty concentrating, and even our sleep and physical health will be affected. The brain has been exposed to dangerous stimuli and needs a buffering time. This is a biological characteristic of human beings. From the pattern of experiencing stimulation, the brain needs time to brake and switch to a calm and safe state. Secondly, analyze the problem. Your problem is not just the pain and heartache from the financial loss, but more importantly, it may lead you to doubt your abilities and hate yourself, attacking your wrong decisions, and regretting the past. You are used to handling pressure and taking responsibility yourself, perhaps because past experiences have taught you that even if you speak up, it won't make a difference, or if you told others, they wouldn't be able to help and would only add to the chaos, or perhaps no one has ever told you that it's okay. Your attention is focused on this matter, and your brain seems to be using this way to make you remember this moment, and even wants to explain this matter through thinking and self-hatred. We call this condition \"ruminative thinking\". Thirdly, make decisions. When you can see the problem for yourself and give yourself space for acceptance and allowance, I don't know what decisions you will make. When Chinese people are in a prosperous situation, they often embrace the positive and proactive mindset of Confucianism, but in times of setbacks, they tend to lean towards the natural and Taoist way. Analyzing your current situation, you can learn from the Taoist philosophy instead of adopting active thinking and fighting back at this time. By using the opposite approach, you will achieve the opposite effect, just like when traditional Chinese medicine says that for wind-cold and wind-heat colds, you should not use the opposite medicine. The specific strategies are as follows: 1. Allow yourself to feel bad because no matter how much you struggle, the discomfort will persist for a period of time, usually around three months, and for some, it can be even longer. This is due to differences in resilience. Understand that this is temporary and not permanent. It does not mean you are foolish or stupid. It's just that this particular matter has gone wrong, so don't generalize it. 2. Reduce ruminative thinking. Mindfulness practices can help you. When your thoughts are racing, allow yourself to pause. 3. Spend a certain amount of time each day, such as an hour, deliberately thinking about the investment failure, but try to pause and bring yourself back to the present during other times. 4. Talk to someone you trust about this matter and make good use of resources. At the same time, if you can, try to find valuable life lessons from this painful experience. However, this is a difficult task, so don't force yourself. 5. Bottom-line thinking. Consider whether the worst-case scenario matches your thoughts and whether your brain is engaging in too much deduction, such as thinking that you are stupid. Also, can you bear the actual worst-case scenario? These are just my thoughts, but the most important thing is you. Because you know yourself best, you need to believe in yourself. Learning from failure is more important than blaming yourself continuously. This is more important and more useful than fantasizing about a miraculous recovery.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can understand your feelings very well. It is indeed heartbreaking when, after selling at a loss, the market unexpectedly rebounds. The huge psychological gap can trigger various emotions such as anxiety and anger, which can complicate your life. I still remember when the Chinese stock market was booming, it kept rising and I thought I could make a big profit. But in the end, it plummeted and I lost a large portion of my capital. I had to sell at a loss, and it still saddens me when I think about it now. My friend, what I want to tell you is that investing is full of ups and downs. Even someone like Warren Buffett has had his share of failures. Behind the market's fluctuations, there are countless variables in addition to capital. So, don't be discouraged by one failure. Perhaps you haven't told your family because you don't want them to feel the same sadness, or maybe you fear their disappointment in you. However, it may be beneficial to confide in your family, such as your partner, at this time. They can help you alleviate your emotions, and it will be much easier than keeping it all to yourself. Lastly, I have two small suggestions for you. First, if you're not a full-time investor, don't use money that you need for daily expenses to invest. Use \"extra money\" that you have on hand. This way, even if you lose your capital, it won't greatly impact your life. Second, maintain a peaceful mindset. Life always has its ups and downs, and investing comes with risks. Don't become arrogant when you make a profit, and don't be overly worried when you experience losses. Only by maintaining a calm mindset can you steer through the dangerous reefs and safely navigate the ups and downs. I wish you great success in your next investment, and I hope my answer can be helpful to you. That's all.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello OP. Although you have been saying that you want to keep things to yourself and not tell your wife and family, wanting to bear the consequences alone and digest them on your own, I do not agree with this approach because hiding it cannot minimize the impact of this matter. Firstly, your emotions cannot be hidden. The loss of money has already happened, causing you to toss and turn and have difficulty sleeping. You may think that you have hidden it from your wife and that she is unaware of this matter. But she is your sleeping companion, and you have been together day and night for so long, so she actually sees everything you do. Women are very sensitive, and if you don't tell her about this matter, she will be anxious on her own and speculate with her own thoughts. What will she guess? Originally, it was just a matter of losing money, but under her wild guesses, if it becomes a speculation that affects family conflicts, wouldn't it be worse? Secondly, the change in your financial situation cannot be hidden. People who have lost money will find an instantaneous change in their consumption concept, especially if they have lost a large sum. Before, the whole family may have regular trips. But now, after experiencing losses, when your wife and children have travel plans, you will start to hesitate and consider, right? When you are out shopping and see something you want to buy, you used to not hesitate to buy it, but now, are you starting to have concerns? The most frightening thing is, if you hide the fact that you have lost money, and coincidentally, a family member asks to borrow money, your wife doesn't know and agrees on your behalf, then what will you do? The loss has already been made, and the matter of losing money has already happened. What you can do now is to minimize the subsequent impact of this matter. Hiding everything and allowing family members to guess randomly while you bear the responsibility alone, hurting your wallet and feeling sad and physically hurt, is actually not very wise. I feel that what is currently impacting you the most is not the matter of losing money itself, but the suppression, self-blame, and grievances that come with hiding this matter. So, I suggest you temporarily set aside the feeling of being the head of the family and speak up, tell your closest and most loved ones, and when you feel at ease, they will also feel at ease. In addition, the financial market is constantly changing, and investment and financial management require caution. Here's a joke: Ever since I got into the stock market, I've been queuing up on the rooftop every day. Regardless, I hope you can untie the knot in your heart, dissolve your troubles, and have a good night's sleep!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Friend, hello! Thank you for the invitation. I can tell that the recent event has had a significant impact on you, and you are unable to let go of it. You cannot get out of this influence in a short period of time. You came here hoping to find a way to quickly overcome this pain. This is itself a painful thing, not only the actual financial loss, but also inner torment. The loss of money is easy to understand, but what kind of impact does this loss bring? Will it bring you immense pressure? When we can see the effects behind the loss, we can better understand our pain. The purpose of understanding is acceptance. You said you hide it from your family and colleagues, what is behind this secrecy? What are you worried about? Not being able to let others know means you have endured a lot of invisible pressure, and this pressure itself will bring you pain. Secrets that no one knows can only be borne by ourselves, and in this situation, they will inevitably affect our work and life. This does not mean that something is wrong with you, but it simply shows that the burden you are currently carrying has exceeded your capacity. You need support. The fact that you are here shows that you have realized that you need help from others. You have started seeking resources just like you would in making investments. Your previous sacrifices were also your efforts to protect and manage your resources. In this process, there are always things that we cannot control. Gain and loss are not only related to ourselves but also to the larger environment. Often, accepting this uncertainty is difficult, but at the same time, we must remember that it is precisely this uncertainty that sometimes brings unexpected surprises. It is natural for us to be affected for a period of time, but eventually, we and our lives will return to tranquility. However, the reflection brought to us by this event can make us more calm and at ease when dealing with similar situations in the future. Wishing you a good world and with love, Psychologist Luo Qin.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, giving you a warm hug. It's normal to feel distressed when investment is a loss. Investment comes with risks, so it's normal to experience losses. This failure should not be seen as a reflection of future failures. After experiencing a loss, the market may experience a significant reversal, which can be hard to accept psychologically. After all, it was our own money that we couldn't hold onto till the end. However, as the saying goes, \"failure is the mother of success.\" This investment failure happened because of a lack of understanding of the market and its trends. Let's consider it a lesson and accumulate strength for future successful investments. While you may feel regret, dwelling on it won't change anything about the loss. Instead, let's focus on learning from this failure, studying investment techniques and knowledge, and preparing for the next investment. Lastly, here's a phrase to share: any money gained through shortcuts in investments will be taken back in another way, so there's no need for regrets. Keep going! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 13671
       },
       {
        "question": "Unable to integrate into college life, feeling a lack of belonging in college, what should I do?",
        "description": "I am a junior in college, but I still feel a lack of belonging here. Even small things that don't go well make me want to go home. I constantly long for home and feel that there is nothing at school worth staying for. I have a peculiar personality and it's hard for me to become attached to anything. I am quite independent and don't really care about anything, so I feel that my college years are meaningless and I just want to go home. However, I always feel like I can't fit into college life and my personality doesn't match well with my roommates. I am that kind of strange person who attracts a lot of attention when walking on the street - some people think I'm weird, while others think I'm cool. In short, I am different from many people, which leads to my loneliness. The dorm conditions are poor and my relationship with my roommates is average. Even the fact that I had good friends and relationships in the past doesn't make me feel attached. I always want to go home and can't integrate into college life. I'm seeking solutions.",
        "keywords": "Development, personality traits, work and study, student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~Give the OP a warm hug. From the OP's description, I understand that the OP is facing a problem regarding how to establish a sense of belonging in college. For this, I have the following suggestions, hoping to help the OP~ Firstly, the OP can start by maintaining good academic performance in college, which is also our main goal in college~ Start by studying and getting in touch with the subjects that interest us, this can help us feel the \"contribution\" and the meaning that this place has for us. Secondly, establishing a sense of belonging in college requires interacting with others. We can try to open up our thoughts and ideas, learn to share our lives with others. On the other hand, it is important to enhance our tolerance and acceptance towards new things and new friends in college. We must maintain sufficient openness to accept things that we may not be familiar with or do not fully agree with, because we cannot always be in an environment that we completely endorse and are familiar with. Therefore, we need to maintain enough openness, in order to continually accept and adapt to new environments.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10585
       },
       {
        "question": "First love has arranged a blind date and rejected me. I can't face this situation, what should I do?",
        "description": "My first love has found a blind date partner and said that they are very compatible. I asked if they still have feelings for me, but they rejected me and told me to delete them from their rights. I am in great pain, should I bravely face it or delete them? Will it feel better if I delete them, or will it make me even more miserable?",
        "keywords": "marriage, premarital",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I can sense that you still have strong feelings for your first love and you are still holding onto those emotions, unable to let go of that relationship. From a perspective of psychological analysis, each of us has both masculine and feminine traits within us. If you are female, then you have masculine traits within you, known as animus, which is an archetype and the male image within the female collective unconscious. When we establish an intimate relationship, we project these traits onto our partners. For example, your inability to let go of your first love may not be because of the person themselves, but rather the traits of your inner animus that you see in them. You are attracted to the animus traits that belong to you. If you can understand this, you may come to realize that the person you love may not be the true objective version of themselves, but rather the version you have created in your own mind. Similarly, he also has a collective image of femininity within him, known as anima, which represents his inner feminine traits. He may be the objective embodiment of your inner animus, which is why you love him and cannot let go, but you may not be his anima, which is why he feels you are not suitable for him. If you can understand this part, you can then understand the deeper motivations for establishing and maintaining an intimate relationship, and that first love is often the first stage of projecting our inner animus and anima. It may be passionate, intense, and focused on external factors. However, as we grow, our anima or animus also evolves to the next stage and we have different needs towards the opposite sex. When that person no longer meets the needs of our next stage, the relationship may break apart. It seems that your boyfriend has entered the next stage of intimacy needs while you have not been able to separate yourself from the relationship. It would be helpful to seek psychological analysis and work with a therapist to deal with the pain of separation.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! I totally understand how you feel and I send you a virtual hug. It's tough to see your first love move on and ask you to delete him, especially when you still have feelings for him. Objectively speaking, he has the right to choose who he wants to be with. So, for you, it's important to face this reality and accept that you will be separated. Actually, if you can let go of the past and accept the current outcome, whether you delete him or not is not that important or crucial. Of course, considering the current situation, what may be more important for you is how to make yourself feel better. The key is to accept the reality. I would suggest you delete him because, as the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. If you want to cut off contact, it's better to do it cleanly. It will avoid triggering any sentimental feelings when you come across his contact information in the future. If you find it hard to let go and feel sad, try thinking about how he managed to move on from you. You still have a bright future ahead of you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello there~ It can indeed be quite painful when two people who were once in love suddenly choose to let go and hold another person's hand. Here's a warm hug for you. Was the fact that your first love has a blind date partner something that happened after you broke up, or did it lead to your breakup? The sequence of events is quite important. If it happened after your breakup and he rejected your idea of getting back together, then it means that he is someone who takes relationships seriously. Since you have already separated, it's better to wish him well. If you can't adjust for a while, try to think of him as a passing moonlight, look up at it when you miss him, but please don't disturb it. If it's a missed opportunity, learn to let go if you can't salvage it. You will meet the person who will come to meet you next. If his having a blind date partner happened during your relationship and led to the breakup, it is recommended to make a clean break and cut off ties with him. No matter how much love or reluctance you have, don't linger in the past. After all, he was able to accept being arranged a blind date in a relationship, whether due to family pressure or other reasons, it at least shows one thing: love is not that important to him. He can choose a blind date partner between you and a suitable blind date partner, so if he meets someone more suitable in the future, would he make the same choice? It's not worth feeling sad and painful for such a person. It does take time to digest the end of a relationship, and it's okay to allow yourself some time to say goodbye, but don't take too long. Then tidy up your mood and get ready to welcome the right person. After all, the unique you deserves to be treated well, and before that person appears, remember to love yourself. Best wishes, the world and I love you~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to have the opportunity to answer your question. First love is indeed a beautiful term. When you first experience love, you are naive and don't understand many things. What do you think is the true meaning of love? When love becomes a responsibility, it is no longer just the sweetness of being together, but also considering the families of both parties. It's not as easy as simply liking each other anymore. Many people break up because they are defeated by reality, such as differences in family conditions, parents' disapproval, long-distance relationships, etc. Sometimes, it's not that you don't want to be together, but that you don't love him that much. If he no longer loves you, there is really no need to force it, because it will ultimately have no result, and it will make you seem cheap. You have also made efforts for it, and his rejection is already very clear, so don't hesitate and don't contact him anymore. The pain you feel is only because you still like him, so you impose reasons on it. When you truly don't care anymore, you will ignore everything about him. Be a carefree girl! As for whether to delete or not, regardless of which option you choose, don't take the initiative to contact him, keep it, let him know how well you will live in the future, make yourself outstanding, and live a colorful life. If you delete him, choose to forget him, no longer contact him, and don't feel regretful. Some people, maybe you won't meet them again in your lifetime. But some people may be walking on the road waiting for you. You will gradually meet and finally love each other. I hope my answer is helpful to you, and I wish you all the best~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. After reading the entire passage, I didn't see anything about your emotions, only mentioning the pain. So, do you like your first love or not? Does this kind of liking still exist now? Firstly, I thought about some practical problems. Since it's your first love, why did you break up? Was the breakup due to more practical factors or more emotional factors? For example, you've been together for a long time, but the feelings haven't reached that stage, so you decided to break up. Or maybe there is a geographical distance, and neither of you can go to the other's place, or you couldn't get past the hurdle of parents, and so on. Since you have already broken up, if you decide to get back together, do you still need to face the same problems as before? Are there irreconcilable issues? Because I think since you've reached this step, it must be for the long run. If it cannot go on for the long term and is only for immediate happiness, similar pain is possible to fall into the same pit for the second time. Secondly, regarding the blind date with a girl, what is the real point that makes you sad? Is it possible that it's the feeling of \"belonging to someone else\"? What makes you sad is not the girl herself, but the feeling that what used to belong to you now belongs to someone else. I think this feeling needs a little more discernment. Another significant reason why there are few successful relationships that were formed during the first attempt at dating is that relationships themselves involve smoothing each other's edges and going through the process of being together. Once two people have blended together, if they want to separate, there will always be a sense of tearing. Could this feeling also be one of the causes of pain? Finally, since you have reached this point, I think you should analyze and summarize the experience and lessons learned from your previous relationship. Maybe there was a lack of emotional fulfillment, or maybe something was missing in real life. Or maybe both individuals were great, but they simply weren't compatible. Actually, think about it, with over 7 billion people in the world, it's really a miraculous thing to instantly encounter someone who is a perfect match. Personally, if you feel truly sad, first determine whether the source of your sadness is the girl or yourself. If it's because of the girl, you can try to fight for it, and if it doesn't work out, consider it as a valuable experience. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the author gives you a warm hug. First love is a beautiful thing, where two naive individuals delicately cherish each other and have wonderful aspirations for each other. However, often due to being inexperienced in relationships and not knowing how to communicate and meet each other's needs, the relationship ends with a goodbye. I'm not sure about your emotional state with your first love at that time, but this relationship and this person are still important to you, important to the point where you don't know how to face it. Don't worry or feel anxious, you will find your own way to handle this relationship and this person. They found a suitable match through arranged marriage and say they like the other person. But perhaps they are just suitable for marriage. They rejected you. Although it is heart-wrenching, we must face the reality that they no longer have feelings for us. Whether you are a man or a woman, and regardless of the reasons for giving up a relationship, there will always be some sense of guilt towards the other person. In order to alleviate their guilt, they may do things to make the other person \"happy\" or to make the other person \"make a decision.\" For example, in your case, your first love said you have the right to delete their contact. But in reality, you don't need their permission to delete it; it's your own decision. They only said it to make themselves feel better. So don't overthink it; they have already moved on from your relationship. Therefore, you can keep their contact on WeChat or delete it, depending on your own heart. Regardless of the outcome, they have chosen to move forward, so why should we torture ourselves by staying in the same place? Treasure the beauty and pain of your first love in your memories and encourage yourself to move forward. Don't worry, don't be afraid, both the good and the bad will pass. Wishing you all the best!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5652
       },
       {
        "question": "Disliking people who study seriously, feeling as if they are trying to surpass me and become my enemies?",
        "description": "In high school, I developed anxiety and depression due to competing with my desk mate in studying. I also have a bit of OCD. Now in college, whenever I see someone in my class or roommate studying diligently, I start to dislike that person. I feel unhappy and miserable. It irritates me to see that person putting in so much effort. I feel like they are my enemy and want to defeat me, so I start hating that focused individual. In reality, they haven't done anything wrong, but I still feel uncomfortable. I feel like I have a dark side, but I can't escape from it. As a result, I avoid making friends with others. I want to change my mindset, but I really struggle with it. Please help me, thank you!",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Give you a big hug. \"I feel that people who work hard are my enemies, and I have a sense of being defeated, so I refuse to make friends.\" I can understand OP's feelings because I have also had similar thoughts. When I see others working hard, I feel a bit discouraged and feel that I will be surpassed and become a \"loser.\" But after reading what Adler said, I gradually learned to let go. Adler said, \"If you want to live in harmony, you must treat others as equals.\" The reason why we feel that hardworking people are our enemies is that we always consider interpersonal relationships from a competitive perspective and see other people's success as \"my failure,\" so we cannot be happy for others' achievements, and it is difficult to be friends with them. However, once we break free from the \"competition\" cycle, we can free ourselves from the competitive psychology of \"maybe losing,\" view others as equals, and not be led by competition. As the master of the emotion of \"competition,\" you can definitely do it! Focus on yourself. I understand that the \"comparison system\" in society makes us constantly feel \"compared,\" always wanting to be a better person. The first thing to affirm is that OP has a competitive spirit because they are motivated, which is a very admirable quality. I know it's difficult to live without comparisons, but think about it, what we really want is to \"be better than our past selves.\" You can compare, but compare yourself. If you have made progress compared to yesterday, then you are one step closer to success! Don't focus too much on other people's actions and neglect your true inner desires and aspirations. I hope my answer can help you. Live a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear OP, hello~ Jealousy towards those who work harder than oneself is not uncommon, just more or less severe. Appropriate jealousy can be a driving force for competition, but once it exceeds that limit, it can turn into malicious intent towards the person we envy, or even self-harm. Decreasing attention on that person: Once we start paying extra attention to someone, we magnify their behaviors. For example, if we see them in the study room, we may think they spend the whole day studying there; if we see them carrying a backpack on the street, we may think they are secretly studying, and so on. In reality, they may just be passing by the study room or carrying a backpack for other reasons. But when we decrease our attention on them, perhaps these actions won't cause as much resentment in our eyes. Psychological adjustment: If you feel uncomfortable when classmates and roommates in your class are studying more diligently, what about senior students who are preparing for postgraduate entrance exams? They may be even more serious than them. Consider them as the same as senior students; their dedication doesn't hold any special meaning for you. Distance yourself from that person: If you can't achieve psychological adjustment, then distance yourself from that person. If they are in study room 1, go to study room 2; if they sit in the front to listen to lectures, sit in the back. Think more about what you want. Do you want to be the person who works the hardest? The person who is most serious about studying? Or the person who performs the best in their studies? In college, there are many people who only appear diligent. They go to the classroom before dawn with a backpack but end up feeling sleepy. Some people take neat and beautiful notes, but remember very little. When competing with others in terms of effort becomes an arms race, you will become exhausted. In addition to busy studying, think about your reasons for doing so. When you have a clear answer in your mind, you naturally reduce your focus on external factors. Life is not just about studying. Our lives are not solely about studying; there are many wonderful things. But learning can be found everywhere in life. Going on a trip with friends is learning social skills, going for a run is learning fitness, even watching dramas is learning how to relax. If we confine learning only to sitting at a desk and studying in the study room, then learning loses its true meaning. Finally, I hope that you, as the OP, can overcome these troubles soon!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "When I saw your question, I was reminded of the friend I lost due to jealousy. My friend was better academically, had a better social life, and everything in her life seemed well-organized. I was really jealous of her. I didn't admit it at the time, but now I dare to face these feelings because I realize that admitting our darkness is not shameful. Just like you, acknowledging your darkness actually shows that you are an honest person. Back then, I really saw her as my rival and thought that I would win if I surpassed her. I also did many things that I now regret as they were too petty and childish. Ultimately, I pushed my friend away to a point where she no longer wanted to tolerate me. Now I can be honest about all of this because I have my own job and a broader perspective. I have met more talented people and realized that my circle was too small and my vision too narrow. So, I would unconsciously compare myself to her, but when you elevate yourself and look around, there are many others who are even more outstanding than her. Do I have to compare myself to each and every one of them? Ah, that would be really exhausting. Moreover, if I consider the whole world as my rival, then I am standing on the opposite side of the world and end up isolated and alone. The change in my mindset began when I gave up comparing myself to others and started seeing them as teachers. How does this friend manage to be so likable with a smiling face every day? How can my colleague handle so many tasks efficiently without making any mistakes? And how can that sister have a happy family and cute children, while I am still solo? I started learning from them, praising their strengths, asking them how they achieve what they do, and reflecting on what I can learn from them. When we see others as teachers and role models, we won't feel envy or make comparisons, and our mindset will become more open. Others will also be willing to be friends with us. Also, don't feel guilty just because of your dark thoughts. Everyone has their own dark side because we are all ordinary people.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the person who posted the question, nice to meet you. Let's talk about Lan Yingying, who has recently been criticized severely. What is your opinion on this matter? In my opinion, Lan Yingying is a very hardworking, dedicated, and outstanding person. \"Whenever he says I can't do it, I will ignite my fighting spirit,\" as Lan Yingying said. Indeed, in the show \"Youth With You,\" Lan Yingying may not have been the hardest working contestant, but her efforts have been talked about the most. So, many people criticized her for being \"overly competitive\" and \"overly focused on marketing.\" Overall, there are many people who dislike her. However, was Lan Yingying's effort fake? No, it wasn't. Before this, she was a very disciplined person who exercised and read regularly. So why did Lan Yingying, who ranked first on the stage and received high praise, receive more criticism later on? The reasons can be boiled down to two points. Firstly, compared to other contestants, Lan Yingying has slightly lower emotional intelligence. But this is not the main reason and at most is just a minor factor. The main reason is the second point. Lan Yingying doesn't fit the current trend. Why did NetEase Cloud Music get turned into \"Depressing Cloud Music\"? Why do people admire the \"Buddha-like Youth\"? Ultimately, it's because this kind of \"depressed\" state has gained everyone's recognition. However, Lan Yingying is not this kind of person. She is ambitious, proactive, and highly goal-oriented. This kind of attitude does not match the aesthetics of the majority nowadays. So I say, as a celebrity, I admire and like Lan Yingying a lot. But if she were my friend, I would definitely hate her. She is too ambitious and too hardworking, which gives me an overly intense sense of crisis. Now let's get back to the topic you raised. The hardworking people you mentioned are very similar to Lan Yingying. And you said you are jealous of those hardworking people. In fact, the root cause is because they make you feel threatened, and as a result, you have complex emotions of jealousy and fear. So how can you resolve this dilemma? Firstly, learn to transform. Others are just temporary enemies, while you are your own biggest opponent. Convert the emotions towards others into self-reflection. There is no need to compare yourself to others. As long as you make progress compared to yesterday, then you are successful. Both emotions and goals should be learned to be transformed. You can review your progress or regression every day and compare yourself to your past self. If you constantly see others as enemies, when you surpass them, you may also lose your motivation. Secondly, learn to make friends, but make friends with hardworking people. Since you feel unhappy when they study, then go and study with them. When you experience the motivation that comes from studying together, the feeling of jealousy will gradually diminish or turn into a determination to not be outdone. Studying together with a few people is more joyful than envying others. If you make friends with a group of lazy people who don't know how to study, and you keep idling with them, but your competitiveness makes you envy those who are striving to learn, then you are really in a predicament. In fact, jealousy is a common human emotion, but your jealousy won't be ridiculed by others only when your abilities become strong enough to match those you envy. If you don't work hard and only envy others, you will always remain stuck and frustrated in your current situation.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad that you have recognized that your emotions are negative and are actively working to improve them. Way to go! So, how can you overcome these emotions? Start by reflecting on the meaning of life, the kind of person you want to be, and how you can achieve your goals. For example, if you don't want to be a jealous person, be vigilant when jealousy arises. Think about what success and happiness mean to you. When you see someone who is diligent in their studies but not happy, can we say that this reveals your approval of academic achievements as the definition of success? While academic achievements are important, we should strive for holistic development. As we enter university, we should gradually transition from a student mindset and become our own mentors, rather than simply playing the role of a \"student.\" I believe that for a person to be happy, they need to be physically and mentally healthy, possess ideals, and have good conduct. Your jealousy towards people who work hard actually suggests that you also have aspirations. Being able to recognize your shortcomings and actively correct them indicates that you can also become a mentally and physically healthy individual. Set short, medium, and long-term goals for yourself. Connect your short and medium-term goals with your long-term goals so that you can focus your energy on self-improvement, reducing your focus on others. Furthermore, as you make progress and become a better person, your jealousy will diminish. Take time to recognize your own strengths and make a balanced evaluation of yourself and others. Sometimes, we admire others because we overlook our own strengths or ignore the difficulties others are facing. In high school, I used to envy a girl who was attractive, had nice handwriting, and was academically successful. However, after getting to know her, I discovered that she didn't feel happy due to her family background. It made me realize that the person I admired also had her own difficulties and desires. Our suffering often stems from the difficulty of reconciling our desires with reality, doesn't it? So, daily, write down three things that bring you happiness or that you have done something good. For example, \"I noticed that I was jealous, but I made an effort to adjust myself\" or \"I have a bad temper, but I didn't get angry today\" or \"I helped someone and felt really happy.\" Practice calligraphy, devote time to reading to expand your knowledge and broaden your horizons, and reflect on your childhood. Why did you develop a competitive spirit? Why do you care about this aspect? Reflect on which characteristics match your own. Do you dislike studious people because, when you were young, your parents often used phrases like \"Look at other people\"? Or is it because you see others studying hard and envy their strong determination? Set an idol for yourself. For example, someone as great as Premier Zhou Enlai. Since you want to \"compete,\" why not compete for a more ambitious goal? Transform your negative emotions into positive actions. Your competitiveness in academics is a breath of fresh air in the competitive world. Competition leads to progress, so make good use of your competitive spirit to make yourself more determined. But don't put too much pressure on yourself. You are now a college student, a time of youth and vitality. I wish you can overcome your negative emotions, seize opportunities, and propel yourself to a better future. If you want to chat about anything, feel free to send me a private message.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010Other people's success will not hinder one's own success\u3011 Dear friend: Hello! You seem conflicted and confused, as if you have entered a dead end and don't know how to get out. It seems that you are trapped in a mindset of comparison and competition, without knowing how to resolve it. Well, many people have had similar experiences and struggles, so let's take a look together. Why is competition necessary? Actually, I didn't understand it before either. It seems like everyone is no longer friends and has become enemies. Later on, I observed that there is a big reason behind it, and it stems from a mistaken belief. 1. \"Other people's success will hinder my own success.\" Many people hold onto the belief that competition is necessary, that it's either you die or I die, simply because they mistakenly think that others will hinder their success. But in reality, this is just a false belief. 2. Haven't found one's own position and value. It's because they don't know who they are, what their coordinates are on Earth, and what kind of person they want to become, like a lost soul wandering on this earth. It's difficult for people to see who they really are, so they mistake \"comparison and competition\" as the only way to see themselves. But in fact, there are many ways to \"see oneself.\" 3. Lacking confidence or satisfaction in one's own success. People dislike not the external world, but rather the masks they wear. Or to put it differently, you appreciate your classmates' excellence because you yourself are excellent; you appreciate your classmates' hard work in studying because you yourself work hard in studying. If you dislike your classmates' efforts, well... you get what I mean. Regardless of the reasons, let's not blame ourselves first. The most important thing is to find solutions, right? \u3010Firstly\u3011, realize one's own position and unique value. Everyone has their own place in life, even identical twins have different lives. The older twin cannot replace the younger twin, and the younger twin cannot replace the older twin; your classmates cannot replace you, and you cannot replace your classmates. This is the nature of each person's life position, and it is also their unique and irreplaceable place. This forms each person's unique value. \u3010Secondly\u3011, establish horizontal relationships and see that \"everyone is just different.\" The reason why people want to be the \"best\" and are obsessed with a sense of superiority is because they are afraid that one day they will be at a lower position, losing their sense of value and self-confidence. In order to be the \"best,\" they fall into the trap of \"competition\" to maintain their \"sense of superiority.\" If we let go of this vertical relationship and instead establish horizontal relationships, you will find that everyone is striving in their own position without judgment of higher or lower. It's just that positions, responsibilities, talents, and tasks differ. \u3010Thirdly\u3011, understand one's own needs and develop an understanding of others' needs. You desire to achieve success, and your classmates do too. You desire the joy of success, and your classmates do too. When you long to stand on the stage and receive applause and praise, your classmates also long for the same. We are all human beings, and our needs sometimes overlap! You can understand yourself, and you can understand others too. \u3010Fourthly\u3011, trust others. Sometimes competition and the fear of having one's possessions taken away stems from a lack of security. It's because of this lack of security that the belief \"other people's success will hinder my own success\" arises. It is a defensive mindset in the subconscious. Only when you see security in interpersonal relationships can you let go of this mistaken belief. Or perhaps, you can dismantle this belief first, which will also provide you with a sense of security. \"Other people's success will not hinder my own success.\" You are not a bad person; you simply planted a false belief which led to some negative behaviors. You don't need to blame yourself so much, and you don't need to worry excessively. Just remember, you and others are like different snowflakes in the world, there is no higher or lower, just differences.\ufe0f Quoting a line from my favorite movie: \"Be kind, because everyone's life is not easy.\" Your academic achievements do not come easy, and neither does your classmates'. God bless you! Your friend, Audrey.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings well. When I see others working hard, I also feel restless and sometimes anxious that I can't focus on studying. First, try to calm your mind and engage in simple communication with them about studying. After the exchange, you will feel different. Don't rush, gradually get to know them. They are not as scary as you imagine. Being with more outstanding people can make you become better too. Because everyone has different experiences, hobbies, and ambitions, you will gain more things, more knowledge, and become a better version of yourself. Don't let them surpass you. Only by constantly surpassing yourself in life can you avoid being surpassed by others. Walking alone may be a bit slow, but if we walk together, we can go much further and take care of each other along the way. So try to accept and interact with them. Perhaps you will become good friends! I hope my answer can help you. I wish you the strength to break through the wall in your mind soon. You can do it!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Sweetie, from your question, I can see your distress and agony. In fact, you don't really want to hate or be at odds with others, you actually want to get along well with them, right? This distress doesn't just come from your relationship with others, but also a bit from your \"disgust\" with yourself. [\"Competition with 'excellence'\"] The competition with excellent classmates actually stems from your pursuit of \"excellence\" as well. When you see diligent students, you also hope to be like them, so you want to \"surpass\" them. [\"Disgust for 'excellence'\"] Some of the disgust for \"excellence\" also comes from your own \"disgust.\" You disdain the fact that you are not as excellent as them, and you despise the fact that you can't compete with them. This part needs to be \"acknowledged.\" The \"awkwardness,\" \"darkness,\" \"disgust,\" and \"rejection\" that you see in this part actually come from yourself. [\"How to change?\"] You really want to change these thoughts. The most important thing is to accept yourself, accept your helplessness, accept that you may not be as good as others, and accept that you don't necessarily have to be better than others. So, accepting all of yourself is crucial. Regardless of how you are, you need to accept yourself. If you can accept yourself, perhaps those \"unhappiness\" and \"pain\" will automatically disappear. Wishing you can free yourself from this little demon, the world and I love you, and you should love yourself too!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I read your description, the first thing I feel is that you may be a high-achieving classmate who has high expectations of me. Because when you see classmates or roommates who study seriously, you tend to dislike them. However, this \"dislike\" may not be a true dislike, but rather a worry. You worry that your grades won't be as good as theirs. I think if they invite you to study together at this time, and you work hard together, you may have a different feeling. Besides, you may be very concerned about your own grades and the level of effort you put in, but when your classmates' efforts are beyond your control, it may make you feel a bit insecure. Try to gradually become aware of yourself. When you feel angry seeing classmates working hard, see what you can do or how you can make an effort so that you don't have such emotions. \"I feel very dark about myself.\" We don't need to feel dark or ashamed because we have such emotions. After all, everyone wants to be the best. What do you think?",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Lou Lou. Forcing yourself to change your inner thoughts is like covering your ears while stealing a bell because at this stage, forcing your mind is equivalent to not accepting yourself. I have a small suggestion, I don't know if it's appropriate. First, you need to accept yourself as you are now. You have to believe that you are normal, and these dark thoughts in your mind have not led you to do anything bad. Don't be overly self-critical. Who requires us to be morally pure while being legally upright? No one! People live in society with all kinds of emotions, desires, and distractions. These are all normal. Not just you, everyone has their own dark side to some extent. For example, right now, as I answer questions on this platform, if I receive fewer likes than others, I also feel uncomfortable. I may even check what the popular answers look like. But I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. You are too harsh on yourself. You need to recognize who you are at this stage and make peace with yourself. You don't need a moral guardian to supervise yourself. It's too exhausting. Secondly, broaden your perspective and look at a larger and wider picture. There are so many outstanding people in the world, and each person chooses a different path. If you are firm in your own direction, you won't compare yourself to people on different paths. For example, if you don't play badminton, you won't envy Lin Dan; if you don't play basketball, you won't envy Yao Ming. I can't remember which book said it, but the best way to eliminate weeds on a piece of grassland is not to keep pulling them out, but to plant crops on it. When you gradually reconcile with yourself and see a bountiful harvest on your own grassland, running on your own path, you will laugh at the old you who used to envy such things in your heart. The small demons of the past will no longer be a problem.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 14186
       },
       {
        "question": "Alone and clueless, not understanding anything, what is the meaning of life?",
        "description": "Others are vibrant and full of flavor, look at myself, all alone, knowing and understanding nothing, and struggling to learn. It feels like no matter what I ask, everyone else can handle it, why can't I? What is the meaning of life? Is it to highlight the goodness of others?",
        "keywords": "Growth, work, learning, self-acceptance, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There are two possibilities when we see others as \"energetic and vibrant.\" First, in different relationships, we naturally put on corresponding masks. For example, the mask and behavior of a teacher would be different from that of a lover. We show different aspects and parts to those we trust intimately and to acquaintances. Second, it could be because we have made an assumption or judgment about others and are using a magnifying glass to search for the \"energetic and vibrant\" parts in them. As unique individuals, we never need to compare ourselves to others. We just need to be ourselves: understanding what kind of seed we are, what resources we need, and what we will grow into. I don't believe in the idea that \"everyone else can, but I can't.\" For example, many people cannot ask for help like you did here. Perhaps we can be more tolerant of ourselves, take a positive outlook, and give ourselves small affirmations every day. I hope this helps. Take care.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 1010
       },
       {
        "question": "Once something goes wrong, it is common to attribute the reasons to oneself.",
        "description": "Once something goes wrong and doesn't go as planned, I always tend to blame myself. It's really exhausting, and I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. The main problem you face is that when something goes wrong, you tend to attribute it to yourself. To a certain extent, you are accustomed to blaming yourself for failures, which can lead to the exhaustion you mentioned. However, if we extend this further, we can see that it is also the beginning of self-improvement. Often, it is through recognizing our shortcomings that we strive to improve. For example, the mock exams we experience from childhood serve this purpose. If we score low in math and high in language, excluding random factors, it means we need to invest more time and effort in studying math. The same applies to how we approach tasks. It is precisely because you are good at introspection that you continue to make efforts to improve yourself. When faced with failure, some people tend to attribute it to luck, difficulty, and other objective factors, while others, like you, tend to blame their own abilities and shortcomings, among other subjective factors. As a basic human instinct, people are prone to attribute success to their own abilities and failure to luck, among other things. The reason why you, as a person with such good qualities, still feel exhausted is because you rarely attribute successful outcomes to yourself. American psychologist Bernard Weiner believes that people's analysis of the causes of success or failure can be summarized into six factors: 1) ability, whether one's abilities are sufficient for the task at hand; 2) effort, whether one has put in the necessary effort in the process; 3) task difficulty, judging the level of difficulty based on one's own experience; 4) luck, considering whether luck played a role in success or failure; 5) physical and mental conditions, the impact of one's physical or psychological state on the outcome; 6) other factors, such as the influence of other people or circumstances during the process (e.g., others' help or unfair grading). There are many factors that can influence the success or failure of a task. OP, you can try analyzing the reasons for success or failure from these six perspectives. In doing so, you will gradually realize that the outcome of a task is not determined solely by one-sided factors. This will provide you with an objective and clear understanding of the nature of the task, allowing you to find confidence and overcome the feeling of exhaustion. Finally, I wish you confidence, optimism, and a smooth life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. Learn to objectively and rationally look at failure, considering both external and internal factors. Choose whichever perspective allows you to feel relaxed and positive. When facing our own failures, we tend to use two cognitive approaches: external attribution and internal attribution. External attribution means attributing failure to unstable and uncontrollable external factors, while internal attribution is the opposite. For example, if Xiao Ming and Xiao Li did poorly on a test, Xiao Ming might blame himself for not studying well and not carefully reading the questions, feeling guilty and unhappy, and anxious about future exams. On the other hand, Xiao Li might think that the test questions were too difficult and it was raining heavily on the day of the exam, which made her uncomfortable with wet shoes and affected her performance. Xiao Li believes that as long as she studies hard and checks the weather forecast in advance next time, she will definitely make progress. Thus, she hopes to start working hard now and prove herself in the next exam. When facing setbacks, you may tend to use internal attribution excessively, which puts a lot of pressure on yourself and makes you fear failure and feel lost. Try to be more objective when facing such situations, understanding both internal and external factors, and seeking solutions instead of constantly blaming yourself and thinking of yourself as a failure. When you can't affirm or support yourself, you can confide in close people, seeking comfort and strength from them, so that you can face failure and muster the courage to start again. Best wishes.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 14455
       },
       {
        "question": "Married for 8 years, with a second child who just turned 1 year old, my husband gets angry and throws things, and it's getting increasingly worse.",
        "description": "Living together for three years, married for eight years, and now the second child has just turned one year old. My husband gets angry and throws things, and it's getting worse. There have been two instances of him throwing things this year. At the time, I closed the bedroom door and went back to my room, and he went to work after throwing things outside. He is busy with work, working overtime every day, cooking in the morning before going to work, and doing laundry and tidying up the kitchen when he comes home from work. The situation has become more serious than when we only had one child, and I don't know if it can be saved.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management, prenatal and postnatal.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! Your husband is getting angrier and throwing things, and it's getting worse. This is causing you some worries, and I think your concerns are valid. Moreover, if your husband's condition continues without effective resolution, it will inevitably be harmful to him and your family. Analysis of the reasons: Your husband is under a lot of pressure due to a busy work schedule and having to do a lot of household chores when he comes home. Psychology suggests that when stress events exceed an individual's coping abilities, it can easily lead to an anxious state. From a physiological perspective, stress is the degree of exhaustion and torment the body undergoes. Therefore, based on your husband's current condition, it is likely due to excessive stress that he can't effectively alleviate or relieve, resulting in a series of emotional and behavioral reactions when his psychological, physiological, emotional, and mental well-being feel threatened. So, how do we deal with the current situation regarding your husband? 1. Create a pleasant family atmosphere: We often say that home is a warm harbor, but many families never experience the warmth this harbor brings to its members. To create this warm harbor, it requires both the responsibility and mutual understanding and tolerance of both spouses, as well as effective communication. Currently, both you and your spouse are experiencing significant stress, and your husband may not be aware of this problem yet. You are able to recognize the issue, which shows your clarity on the matter. Therefore, I think improving your current situation should start with you, even though it's challenging for you to manage the two children on your own. There always has to be a beginning. As the saying goes, \u201cThe hardest part is getting started.\u201d So, how do you create a pleasant family atmosphere? In my opinion, first, you need to avoid blame and criticism and listen attentively and patiently to your husband's innermost thoughts and feelings. Only by understanding his inner world can you effectively communicate with him, further promoting mutual understanding and empathy. 2. Take on the burden of life actively: I understand that taking care of two children is very challenging, and you also hope to get help. However, in the current situation, if neither side sacrifices their ego, you won't be able to overcome the current difficulties. Therefore, one party must make continuous improvements to drive the other party's improvement, ultimately leading to improvement on both sides and overcoming the difficulties together. You may feel aggrieved, wondering why you have to change and improve rather than your partner. From my perspective, it doesn't matter who changes first from both sides; however, the issue is that your husband isn't aware of the problem yet. Thus, starting with you in initiating improvement and change would be more beneficial to easing and resolving the problem. 3. Step out of the house and experience the outside world together: Psychology suggests that if you have shared experiences or secrets, it strengthens the relationship and intensifies the level of intimacy. By going on outings as a family, shopping at the mall, and dining out at restaurants, you can enhance the intimacy between family members, relieve the tension among them, and soothe everyone's emotional well-being. Therefore, no matter how difficult your current situation is, make a determined effort to step out of the house and organize frequent family outings. This will be more conducive to easing and resolving the problem.",
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          "answer_text": "Husband throwing things, you must be a little scared, let me hug you. After reading the whole topic, my feeling is that your husband is very good to you and responsible for the family, and you also rely on him quite a bit. The topic says that your husband's anger and throwing things have been getting worse. He has thrown things twice this year. That means, in serious situations, it's been more than half a year, with an average of throwing things every three months or so. So before the situation got serious, he either didn't throw things or only did it once a year or so. Also, he works overtime every day, makes breakfast in the morning, comes back and does the laundry and cleans the kitchen. I don't know if you live alone or if there are elderly people to help? There's also a second child who is now one year old, which means your husband's change happened after the arrival of the second child. Let's analyze the reasons for your husband's change. In terms of environment, there hasn't been any physical changes, but in terms of human environment, there's a new child, and in terms of psychological environment, the pressure of raising a child, time pressure, household chores pressure, and energy pressure are all changing. I guess your communication between each other has also decreased. With so many changes happening, I think your husband's change is normal from a rational perspective. We also have two children in our family, and our second child is now two and a half years old. My body has not been the same since giving birth to the second child. Occasionally, I also throw things, but in our family, it's me who throws things. I usually do it when I'm too tired and feeling very annoyed, wanting some peace and quiet, but the conditions don't allow for it, and at the same time, my husband and children keep demanding things from me. In that moment, I feel that they don't love me, don't understand me. I have tried my best to control myself before throwing things, but sometimes I can't, and I feel very uncomfortable. If I don't vent a little, I will collapse. When I throw things, I especially hope that someone can understand my hardships, even if they don't understand me, they can at least take care of my feelings. Of course, I know the child is still young and needs care, and my husband is very tired and needs rest, but what about me? Am I not working hard? It's okay to work hard for the people you love, but when no one understands, no one cares, that's something I can't accept. But what I mentioned above is about myself, I think men may care more about their pride, he may not say that he needs to be taken care of, but from the topic, it seems that he doesn't have much time to rest either. Being so tired, if he can't rest, he at least needs understanding, affirmation, and comfort. The least lovable moment for a person is when they need help the most. That's the situation your husband is in now. He can't express it in words, but he's using his actions to say that he can't bear it anymore. Let me give you some suggestions. First, if possible, you can find a professional psychological counseling center and do some family therapy. Second, if he throws things, make sure the children are safe, and show him more care, don't isolate him or blame him out of fear. Third, if you're not too busy, try to share some household chores, if you are also tired, you can regularly hire a housekeeper to help clean. Fourth, the husband-wife relationship is the center of a family, spend some time every day talking with your husband about things unrelated to the children, reminisce about the past, don't let your feelings cool down because of the arrival of the child. Life is not easy, and it's even more so for families with two children, so cooperation between the two people needs to be closer. Look at the angelic child, think about the beautiful past, the current days are just a phase. I hope my answer can help you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the topic owner~ It's indeed not good for your husband to throw things. Not only does it cause financial loss to the family, but more importantly, the loud noise can frighten you and also scare the children. It's possible that your husband is under a lot of pressure, after all, he has to work and take care of household chores, and having two children increases the pressure on him even more. We also need to understand his negative emotions. However, the habit of throwing things needs to be changed. My suggestion is: [Find a time to have a good chat with your husband] When your husband's mood calms down, you can have a good talk with him. You can start by asking if he has encountered any difficulties at work recently. If he needs to vent, you can be his listener. After your husband vents, you can ask him what you can do for him or if there's anything you can share the burden with. For example, if you feel too exhausted with household chores, you can help him or hire a cleaning service regularly. You also need to talk to your husband about how throwing things is really not good because it not only scares the children, but they may also pick up the habit. We still need to set a good example. [Allocate some of your energy to your husband] I know you must be very tired taking care of two children, but if possible, allocate some of your energy to your husband and take care of his emotions. For example, during the weekends, take your husband and children for a picnic in the countryside or engage in some leisure activities to relax everyone's mood. After putting the children to sleep at night, have a chat with your husband and ask about his work and his mood, share interesting things together. Family members need to grow together, and your husband may not have fully adapted to the situation of having a family of four, but the stress arrived earlier than his adaptation process. The topic owner is the same, you must also feel very tired taking care of the children. You can chat more with your husband, vent your feelings to each other, support each other, get through this adjustment period, and believe that the future will be better~.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ First, let me give you a warm hug. I can imagine that the situation must be tough for you, but don't worry, let's analyze it together in detail. I hope these words can bring you some help. First, let's try to find possible reasons. It seems that you and your husband have been through a long journey together and have experienced a lot. It must not have been easy all the way, and now you may be facing a tricky problem. You may want to think about whether your husband is under a lot of pressure or has encountered some issues. To be honest, taking care of two children can be quite stressful, or he may have faced setbacks in his career, which leads to outbursts at home. So, what can you do? I know it's difficult for you in this situation, so first, you need to adjust your own mindset before you can better help your husband face this problem together. Then, try to have a conversation with your husband at the right time to further determine the cause, and then find suitable solutions together. You can put in some extra effort and show more care towards your husband to make him feel the warmth of love. Because in a fast-paced life, most people like a warm home and the feeling of being loved. Don't worry too much, though. You have been through a long journey together, and this is just a small episode. Things will get better and better for both of you. Finally, I wish you and your family happiness and fulfillment. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my response can help you. After being married for 8 years, it can be said that the honeymoon phase between the two of you has long passed. The relationship between the two of you has become more about familiarity. When two people are familiar enough with each other, we tend to expose our negative sides. Take a moment to reflect on how your communication with your husband has been. Has the emotional communication between the two of you been neglected due to you taking care of the family and children while he is busy with work? If the feelings between two people are ignored for a long time, there will be a sense of emptiness inside because both of you hope to be understood by each other. Not feeling understood for a long time leads to not feeling valued or cared for, and the accumulation of dissatisfaction, anger, resentment, and sadness. At this time, he may choose an extreme way to vent his emotions, such as throwing things. On the other hand, he may also be experiencing a lot of work pressure and financial stress, and when negative emotions become overwhelming and he doesn't know how to express them properly, his behavior, like your husband's, may occur. It's crucial not to overlook each other's feelings due to being too familiar or being too busy with your own matters. Emotional fulfillment is essential.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Throwing things is a form of release, mainly due to emotional distress that has been lingering and unable to be relieved, trapped in the heart. In cases like this, the first step is to find the reason behind the outburst. Is it because work is not going well, or is it due to increased stress from the pandemic, making it difficult to adjust after returning home? Or perhaps it is the result of having children, with the added pressure at home causing an overwhelming feeling that cannot be suppressed. Generally speaking, throwing things and getting angry are the result of accumulated and unresolved emotions, combined with poor rest and sleep, which cause a loss of control over emotions. This is something that can be adjusted and remedied. You can start by communicating and sitting down to have a good talk about what is going on. Seeking help from professionals, such as a psychological counselor, for emotional guidance is also an option, allowing the emotions to be released and alleviated. Sometimes, holding emotions inside for too long is not a solution, and it may be necessary to let them out in order to feel better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How do you feel right now when talking about this? In terms of the family life cycle, when there are changes in the family members, such as the birth of a child, the existing family balance system will be disrupted, and the original family member relationships will subtly change. There may be symptoms presenting in individuals before a new balance is established. I'm curious about what happened before and after your husband threw things? What did you do? How did you express your own feelings? He is busy and working hard, and may have some emotions that need to be taken care of, seen, and supported. The relationship between husband and wife is like a vital pillar in the family. In a good marital relationship, the man is strong and the woman is gentle, with mutual trust and understanding, showing care and love for each other. In this atmosphere, every family member enjoys love in their own position, transmitting love. Happiness overflows in the flow of love. Obviously, the position, principles, and methods of communication between spouses are also very important for the healthy development of the relationship. These can be adjusted and changed if you are willing. Difficulties between spouses are inevitable. It's not easy, really not easy. Okay, I'm here, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the problems, you can feel your pain... and his fatigue... With so many years of emotional accumulation, living together for three years, and married for eight years, now having two children... This should be the ideal family situation. But the world is tough, without special career opportunities, it is quite stressful to raise two children comfortably and satisfactorily. Perhaps it is this kind of pressure that leads to emotional instability? Getting angry and throwing things is becoming more and more serious. Is it because he is facing difficulties at work? He is busy with work, working overtime every day, and has little time to rest, which can easily lead to loss of control over emotions. Based on your description, he is a good husband, he can prepare meals before going to work in the morning, and still do laundry and tidy up the kitchen when he comes back from work... These tasks may make some men feel irritated, especially when work is not going well. In terms of sharing household chores, maybe you can discuss and improve the situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, as a second-time ordinary family, the stress you face can be imagined. I suppose you are still on maternity leave, or maybe you are a full-time mom. It must be very hard to take care of two children. At the end of the day, you must feel anxious. Now, with the added issues of your husband frequently getting angry, I think you must be feeling angry and anxious as well. Let's analyze your husband's situation. Being angry must have a reason, either work-related or family-related, or maybe it's due to financial issues. In any case, he needs an outlet to vent his anger and calm down. You mentioned that your husband has to cook, clean, and go to work, so he must be very tired. However, he can't vent his emotions on you and the kids, so he ends up expressing his anger by throwing things. Speaking of anger, you need to take action. Have a good talk with your husband. Men also need to be taken care of. Ask him if anything is making him unhappy, whether it's work-related or anything else. Show a moderate level of concern for him, and he will put his emotions aside and find out the key reasons for his anger. Try to understand him. If it's work-related, encourage him to talk about it. If the pressure of family and household chores is too much, or if he is too tired to do chores after coming home, you can hire a cleaning lady or ask your parents for help. After all, young children really need help from others to relieve some of your stress. You need to communicate frequently and maybe take a weekend trip to change the environment and relieve stress. In conclusion, a happy family is built through effort. The fact that you can express yourself on this platform means you are a person who knows how to cherish. I believe that you and your husband will have a harmonious and happy life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Is your husband getting more and more angry and throwing things? Do you want to understand why he is angry? Are you around when he gets angry? Does it have anything to do with you? He has been angry twice this year, are the reasons for his anger the same both times or different? Are the seriousness of the two incidents the same or different? Do the four of you live together now? A couple with two children? Or are there other people? When you say \"save,\" do you mean saving your husband's angry behavior? Why do you use the word \"save\"?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9993
       },
       {
        "question": "I never proactively contact people, and now I don't even contact my parents. Why is that?",
        "description": "I don't know why, but I've always been introverted and have trouble communicating since I was little, hiding in the corners. After starting to work, I don't contact anyone and don't want anyone to know me. I just want to live a quiet life alone. I don't even want to contact my parents, but I feel that I am being too cold-hearted. It must make my parents very sad to raise a child like me.",
        "keywords": "Growing up, personality traits, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, good Thursday night! It's a fortunate encounter to meet in this question, and I can sense the loneliness in your heart. In this limited time and space, let's open up to each other and speak freely. If you just want to be alone quietly, then why ask this question? The emergence of this question must stem from confusion and a lack of understanding of why you have become like this, which is something you cannot accept and feel puzzled and distressed about. The fact that you don't even want to contact your parents shows that your current mental state is not very good. I am not sure about your age, so I can only speculate from the limited text that you may just be feeling down and wanting to ponder some things on your own. Humans are social beings, and it is impossible to truly become an island without any contact with others. Start by finding some like-minded friends and try to open up and find joy in the process of communication. Maybe that's the next step we need to take. That's all. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 60,
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           },
           {
            "start": 129,
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           },
           {
            "start": 229,
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           },
           {
            "start": 258,
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           },
           {
            "start": 273,
            "end": 280,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from a young age, you have been introverted, not good at communication, hiding in a corner, and there has always been a sense of loneliness in your childhood. After starting to work, you do not contact anyone and do not want anyone to know. You just want to live a quiet and peaceful life alone. This is a state of loneliness combined with independence. Now you are struggling because you don't want to contact even your parents, but you feel that this is cold-hearted and don't want to make your parents sad. You feel like a kind and lonely person, immersed in this state of loneliness. Yes, you have the right to enjoy your own state. Loneliness is a sign of maturity. Everyone feels lonelier as they grow older. Even Long Yingtai said, \"Children use their backs to silently tell their parents: there is no need to chase.\" I think you have a lot of love for your parents, but you are not good at expressing it. As a result, this guilt is accumulated in your heart and becomes a struggle. If possible, you can try to maintain a formalized contact with your parents through written letters, for example, by sending a postcard or a selfie during holidays. It is powerful to have the ability to be lonely and take care of yourself in this state. Support yourself. Having the ability to break away from familiar crowds and have the strength to grow on your own is also a satisfactory attitude towards life. In conclusion, I wish you to step out of the haze soon. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When you have such a feeling of guilt, you actually want to proactively contact your parents, but it's more that you don't know how to talk to them or communicate about certain things, and that's what you need to find out. So now let's think together about what your parents want to chat with you about. Or what aspects of you are they interested in? Can you tell them about the things you have observed and felt that they might also be interested in? Try to do some simple sharing. Also, in this process of sharing, listen to your parents' expectations of you and the things they want you to accomplish that you have not yet completed. If what these events bring to you is not all positive, then you can express your thoughts in an appropriate way. In this process of communication, you and your family will have more topics. I hope this answer is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good evening, it is an honor to be invited to answer this question, or rather, to share my personal thoughts. In the limited description, I see a state of contradiction. On one hand, you desire a life undisturbed, on the other hand, you desire to be disturbed. There are many different states of a quiet life, so which state of tranquility do you desire? What is it that makes you want to live this kind of life? It may seem callous to not be in contact with your parents, but the truth is, you don't want to contact them. What is preventing you from reaching out to them? And what would happen if you did contact them? I think these are the answers you need to find for yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5873
       },
       {
        "question": "Expose her true face? How should I treat my incredible mother?",
        "description": "I have an extraordinary good mother, what makes her extraordinary? The following points: 1. I was raised by my father since I was young, even after my two younger sisters were born, my father's love for me did not diminish (I should be grateful, otherwise I would truly have an uncaring father and unloving mother). But under the \"persuasion\" of my extraordinary good mother, my father successfully abandoned me. 2. She enjoys disturbing my sleep. I am growing up now, but I suffer from insomnia every day, and my extraordinary good mother is always involved. So, after being awakened by my extraordinary good mother in the early hours of the morning, I sit in front of the computer and type (yesterday I finally managed to fall asleep before 12 o'clock). 3. She loves to pretend. In the eyes of others, she is an extraordinary good mother, and I am an ungrateful child. No one knows the truth, including my father, and I dare not speak up, even if I do, no one will believe me. People surrounded by maternal love, I believe, will not believe my words, but I have been pushed into depression and insomnia from being a happy and healthy person, and my grades have also been affected. This is my extraordinary good mother! Can someone tell me how to expose her true face?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, parental communication, growth process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Allow me to first talk about my impression of you: *I don't know your gender or exact age, but I assume you are underage.* Your relationship with your father is much better than with your mother, but you also feel that your father seems to be gradually distancing himself from you, probably due to some influence from your mother. *You usually have poor sleep quality, and your mother often wakes you up when you're already asleep, but you haven't mentioned why or provided specific details.* You find the image of your mother that she presents to others to be fake and pretentious, and it seems like others see you as an ungrateful child who doesn't understand maternal love. But you dare not tell anyone about all this, including your father, because you think no one would believe you. *Now, you feel that the person you used to be was healthy and happy, but now you feel overall terrible, with declining academic performance and a depressed state of mind, reaching the severity of depression (I'm not sure if a professional doctor has diagnosed you or if it's your own belief).* You attribute all these negative changes to your mother. *You seem to want to expose your mother's true nature to others. But I'm not sure if you have any other plans, such as trying to adjust your own state without changing the current situation or finding a way to distance yourself from your mother, etc. Now, allow me to share my thoughts: *I feel sorry for what you're going through. If what you say is true and your mother has caused you a lot of pain, I'm glad you can come here to vent. I believe you're not a lying child. *However, I'm also willing to continue the conversation with you in order to better help you, especially to learn more about you and your mother, to understand what other things besides disturbing your sleep she has done that bother, embarrass, and distress you. This additional information is crucial because helping you depends on understanding you and your situation, and I think you should be able to understand that. *As for the depression and insomnia you mentioned, I hope you're just exaggerating. But if the situation is really severe, such as feeling constantly low, lack of interest in anything, and if this condition has persisted for a long time, I suggest seeking help from a professional counselor or psychiatrist. If it's not convenient, you can seek help from your homeroom teacher, the school's counseling teacher, or any other person you trust. I believe they will help you. *If unfortunately, they don't believe you or refuse to help you, at least there are people here willing to listen to your experience and help you get out of this predicament. Stay well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22030
       },
       {
        "question": "Will mental illnesses send signals to the body? For example, will pimples and rashes appear on the body?",
        "description": "Recently, I watched a psychological interview where the interviewee had white spots all over their body, which was very distressing. However, I didn't finish watching it, as the teacher mentioned that it caused some mental health disorders.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! After experiencing certain psychological issues, some physical symptoms may occur. In psychology, this phenomenon is called somatization, which refers to a situation where a person has emotional or psychological problems but does not manifest them as psychological symptoms, instead, they are converted into various physical symptoms. For example, a patient with anxiety disorder may often experience insomnia, headaches, and other problems. Alternatively, some people may experience stomachaches when they are particularly stressed. It is important to note the causal and correlational relationships between somatization symptoms and psychological problems. Causality means understanding whether certain somatization symptoms are caused by psychological problems or if the psychological problems are caused by certain physical factors. Correlation refers to the fact that psychological problems and somatization symptoms do not always occur simultaneously. Specific situations require specific analysis.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 90,
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           },
           {
            "start": 169,
            "end": 259,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 259,
            "end": 271,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6746
       },
       {
        "question": "Always repeating these conflicts, every time I encounter them, my first reaction is to think about divorce.",
        "description": "Trying to conceive, my husband can't quit smoking and occasionally drinks alcohol... I'm very distressed about this and have communicated with him, made arrangements, but ultimately all failed! Over the past few months, his old problem has resurfaced. He wants to play mahjong every week and plays it on his phone when he comes home from work every day. I told him I wanted a life where we are both busy with work during the day and can spend time together at night chatting, cooking, and exercising. He occasionally does it, but still can't resist playing mahjong on his phone regularly. I've had heartfelt conversations with him about these two issues, gentle communication, sad confessions, arguments, negotiations... but they only have temporary effects! Now he has started to avoid communication. He drinks, smokes continuously, and stays up late playing mahjong... He no longer wants to hear what I have to say, no matter how calm or what tone I use, he just turns around and walks away without saying a word! Last year, I had a miscarriage because the gestational sac didn't develop properly, so I really want a healthy child. But I always feel like I'm the only one making an effort. He has also tried, but it's intermittent. He can't control himself. We have been married for three years, and it has been a three-year adjustment. Now, I'm really tired and conflicted. I want a divorce, but I also have many concerns!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Hearing about your current life situation, I understand the pain you are going through. Facing problems in your marriage and repeatedly trying with disappointing results has left you feeling conflicted and doubting the commitment to your marriage. Let's talk together and see if there are any areas where we can improve your current situation, okay? You are currently trying to conceive and, due to a previous miscarriage, you hope to have a healthy baby. You are concerned about anything that could harm the baby, such as your husband's smoking and drinking. You have asked him to quit smoking and drinking, but he hasn't done so, which disappoints you. Maybe he is trying, but not meeting your expectations in quitting smoking and drinking. Your request is understandable as it is for the well-being of your baby. I believe your husband understands this fact and knows that it is not good for the baby. Quitting smoking and drinking is not easy, perhaps you need to try to understand his perspective, talk to him, and understand the underlying reasons for his continued smoking and drinking habits. No matter the reason, try to show him some understanding, as it may help him improve. He has resumed his old habits of smoking, playing mahjong, and not spending time with you, which is not what you want. You have communicated with him many times, but in the end, he avoids the conversation and refuses to communicate. This makes you feel unaccepted and helpless, as if you are the only one making an effort while he doesn't seem to care. You want him to spend more time with you and have the kind of life you desire, but he can't seem to do it. Have you considered his needs and desires while only expressing your own? Both partners in a marriage should strive to satisfy each other's needs and rely on each other. If you can't see his needs or meet them, he will surely be dissatisfied, even though men may not express it as directly as women. So, when you make demands, you should also consider his thoughts, pay attention to his needs, and respect him, providing a certain response and satisfaction. Love flows in both directions, he will feel your love and express his love to you. His refusal to communicate makes you feel that he is not putting effort into your family, which causes your dissatisfaction. Regarding his behavior, you think that he can't control himself. Why does he refuse to communicate? This depends on how you communicated in the past. If he ultimately refuses to communicate, it means that your communication approach is ineffective. Therefore, improving your communication pattern is vital. Building effective communication: First, you need to listen. You need to listen to his perspective and feelings towards the issue. Ask if he has considered the harm smoking and drinking can cause to the baby, and what worries or concerns he has. Listen attentively and take this opportunity to fully understand him. Secondly, offer understanding. Put yourself in his shoes and empathize with his emotions. Agree with his feelings and provide reassurance. Thirdly, directly express your requirements to him. Tell him that you hope he can work together with you to raise a healthy baby, spend more time with you, and create the kind of home you desire. Fourthly, acknowledge his efforts and provide feedback. Thank him for his contributions and let him see the positive impact he has had on your life. This will make him feel supported and motivated to continue his efforts. Feeling helpless and resentful has led you to doubt your marriage. After three years of trying to make it work, your marriage still makes you sad and exhausted. So you now consider divorce but have concerns. The truth about marriage is that harmony can bring sweetness and happiness, while pain can make you want to leave. Divorce is not a wise choice for pain because the pain is not the root of the problem. Just like in your marriage, the pain you feel is not the issue, but rather the conflicting approaches and actions when dealing with your husband and resolving problems, which causes your pain. We all say that marriage requires effort, and this effort has no time limit. Whatever problems arise, they must be bravely faced and resolved together so that the marriage can move towards greater happiness. I am sure that once you and your husband can resolve this issue and work together to welcome a healthy baby, the intimacy between you and your spouse will greatly increase. I wish you a happy life and take good care of yourself. The world and I love you, and this is a secret base for your questions anytime.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, sending you hugs. I hope my answer can bring you some help. As a wife, I understand your feelings, because I have had a similar experience. My husband also likes to play mahjong and smoke. Sometimes, even when I was sick and in pain, he would go play mahjong with his friends instead of taking me to the hospital or taking care of me at home. At that time, I also didn't understand. Clearly, he loves me and I love him, so why wouldn't he change for me? Later on, I learned a lot of truths and established a new mindset, which made our relationship more harmonious and our life happier. Combining my own experience with your question, I would like to give you the following suggestions: 1. Accept your husband. Do you know? It is very difficult to change a person because he is who he is. He likes smoking and playing mahjong because these things have benefits and attractions for him. Smoking can relieve stress and anxiety and help him think. Sometimes, it is also a social need. Playing mahjong may be a way for him to relax. Maybe it doesn't feel good to you, but he enjoys it. So, we need to see that he does these things for his own reasons. If he doesn't want to change himself, it is difficult for us to change him. \"The Power of Now\" once said, \"There are only three things in the world: your own business, other people's business, and the business of the universe. The reason why we are troubled is that we don't handle our own business well and instead worry about other people's business and the business of the universe. Your husband smoking and playing mahjong is his business, something we cannot control. If we try to change him forcefully, conflicts will arise and affect the relationship. However, you can do what you can do. You can express your concerns and fears, telling him that you're afraid his lack of attention to his health will affect your fertility plans. Let him know that you really want to have a healthy child with him and hope he can cooperate with you. You can also ask him why he wants to smoke and play mahjong. What do these activities bring to him? What needs does it fulfill for him? You can explore together if there are better alternatives to smoking and playing mahjong. When you communicate with him with respect and love, when you adopt an accepting attitude without seeking deliberate change, perhaps change will actually happen. 2. Love yourself. Pay more attention to your feelings and needs. Take care of yourself first. Only when we take good care of ourselves can we have a more positive state of mind. When you have emotions, examine where they come from and identify the needs that haven't been met. Then, meet those needs. For example, if you crave others' approval, you need to give yourself approval first. If you need others' trust, start by trusting yourself...because when we have a lack, we strive to seek outside, to try to prove ourselves. However, external feedback is uncertain, so we will experience setbacks and setbacks. Therefore, seeking from within is the most stable and can bring us a sense of security. However, this self-acceptance and self-affirmation is not something that can be achieved overnight. It takes a long time to practice. But as long as we are on the path, we will become better and better. Love yourself, take good care of your diet and daily life, take care of your emotional feelings, and treat yourself like an intimate friend. This will put you in a good state, and you will face the challenges of life with more ease and calmness. 3. Enrich your life and divert your attention. Life is colorful, and nothing can be the entirety of our lives. Your husband is a part of your life, and getting pregnant is only a part of life. Besides these, your life has many other parts. You can do things that make you happy, things that make you relax. Go on trips with friends, spend more time in nature, listen to music you like, read books you enjoy... When you no longer focus all your energy on the things that bother you, you will discover that there are many wonderful aspects in life. When you relax, maybe the things you've been expecting will come to you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I see that in this marriage, many of the husband's actions are making you dissatisfied and frustrated, especially during the pre-pregnancy period, where you are more sensitive to smoking and drinking behaviors. His actions may give you the feeling that he doesn't care about you, the marriage, or your future, which can be disappointing and exhausting for you. I noticed that you have made some efforts, such as communication, vulnerability, arguments, and negotiations, but they only have temporary effects and you soon fall back into old patterns, which can make you feel powerless. First, let's talk about when your husband's behaviors started. Were they like this from the beginning of your relationship, or did they begin later on? Generally, smoking, drinking, playing mahjong, or doing so on the phone are ways people seek enjoyment. Everyone has their own hobbies, such as binge-watching dramas, watching variety shows, or drinking bubble tea. Occasionally indulging in these activities can relieve stress and provide temporary relaxation and happiness, which is understandable. If someone becomes addicted to these activities for a long period, it may indicate that something in their real life is causing them to want to escape or that life is too boring, and smoking, drinking, and playing mahjong are more appealing options. For example, the activities you hope for, such as chatting, cooking, and exercising together, may not be of interest to your husband. This difference can be influenced by inherent gender traits and a lack of love in your relationship. So, if your husband wasn't like this from the beginning, there's a high possibility that your marriage has encountered problems. Your pattern in the relationship leans towards communication and expressing, while your husband seems to prefer remaining silent, causing differences and conflicts. If the marriage is to continue, there must be more understanding and respect from both sides towards each other's true selves. Then, finding common ground and compromises, which are based on both parties' love, can be achieved. Hence, a crucial question is whether there is still love between you both? Additionally, I noticed a key event last year when you had a miscarriage. I don't know if your husband's behavior changed after the miscarriage. Losing a child, whom both spouses have nurtured, whether due to congenital impairments or intentional abortion, can damage the relationship. Perhaps your husband grieved for the loss of your previous child but didn't express it and chose smoking, drinking, and playing mahjong as a way to escape. On the other hand, your way of downplaying this sorrow may involve wanting a healthy child again. It creates a difference in your attitudes and behaviors towards nurturing new life. You may feel that your husband is not making as much effort and that you're the only one exerting yourself and feeling exhausted. Therefore, the aforementioned points aim to provide you with a new perspective on your marriage and your husband's actions. If there is still love and attachment between you, I suggest seeking marriage counseling to address the underlying issues, adjust the interaction patterns, and move towards a more positive cycle in your marriage. I specialize in using cards, figurines, and other objects for accurate case presentations and transformations. I share knowledge about psychology with you. Feel free to follow and message me if you have any questions!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. Seeing your question, I feel really sorry for you. Hugs to you, hoping to bring some warmth and strength. [Feedback Summary] First, let's summarize what I saw. Check if there are any issues. 1. OP, female, married, trying to conceive. 2. While trying to conceive, husband smokes, drinks, and plays mahjong, which disappoints you. 3. The issues with the pregnancy last year have made you more anxious about your current situation. 4. You have tried various ways to communicate, but have not been able to convince your husband to change. 5. Your husband has also made efforts, but with minimal results. 6. You can't find ways to resolve many conflicts, and you feel tired and want a divorce. 7. However, you have many concerns and are distressed about getting a divorce. [Understanding and Analysis] Here are my understanding and opinions. Firstly, from the question, it can be seen that it is not just you who is trying to conceive, your husband is also making efforts, but for various reasons, his performance has not met your standards. Many people can't even change themselves, let alone others. If someone wants to change you, I don't think you would willingly agree to it. Secondly, your husband's efforts remind me of parent-child relationships. Many parents tell their children that they can do whatever they want if they achieve a certain score. However, many children still fail to meet their parents' standards, despite having great temptations. Many parents get angry, thinking their children are not working hard, but the person who wants to achieve good results is not the parent, it is the child. I think your husband's efforts also prove that he wants to change, but due to many reasons, he can't, and he is under great pressure. I believe the current situation is not the result he wants. Thirdly, multiple communication attempts have yielded no results. If you want your husband to change, or in other words, if you want your child to get good grades, just telling him about the benefits of good grades, these are common sense that I believe everyone understands. If your husband also wants to change but somehow can't, then you should find out the reasons why he can't change and the problems he encounters in the process of change, and solve them together. If the purpose of communication is not to solve problems, but to ignore his efforts and difficulties, I don't think any communication methods would be effective. Fourthly, regarding the issue of trying to conceive, did you rush into it after the miscarriage last year? Has your body fully recovered? The key relationship in a family is the relationship between husband and wife, and having a child before your relationship is stable may bring endless problems even if the child is healthy. Because the arrival of a child can make the family dynamics more complex. So, many things are better achieved through patience. Fifth, there are issues that couples cannot resolve. Any couple will encounter many problems, after all, everyone comes from different families and has different experiences, so it's normal to have different opinions, attitudes, and abilities towards many things. However, how to seek common ground while respecting differences is the key to maintaining a relationship. Family relationships need to be nurtured, they don't naturally exist with love and harmony, and even if you divorce or find someone else, you will encounter similar problems. [Methods and Suggestions] Here are a few suggestions: First, if possible, seek family therapy together with your husband, let a counselor help identify deeper reasons and solutions. Second, educate yourself with some basic knowledge of psychology, which will help you understand yourself and others. Third, consider temporarily setting aside trying to conceive and focus on rebuilding your relationship with your husband. I hope my answer can be helpful to you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#\u2460 My husband can't quit smoking and occasionally drinks... I'm very distressed about this. I have communicated with him and made agreements, but they have all failed in the end! \u2461 In the past few months, his old habit has resurfaced. He wants to play mahjong every week and plays it on his phone every day after work. I told him that I want a life where we are busy with work during the day, and we can chat, cook, and exercise together in the evenings. He occasionally does this, but he still can't stay away from playing mahjong on his phone. #When trying to conceive, you really want a healthy baby. So you ask him to follow your lifestyle requirements. In other words, these are your needs, not his. In this paragraph, I feel that all I see are your demands, and in your eyes, his needs need to be changed to match yours. #I had heart-to-heart conversations with him about these two issues, gentle communication, sad expressions, arguments, negotiations... but they only have a temporary effect! #As mentioned above, the core conflict between you and him is that you neglect his needs. Although you have constantly tried various methods, your core demand is obvious, which is to make him give up his own needs to satisfy yours. That's why he chooses to #And now he has started avoiding communication. He drinks alcohol, smokes continuously, and plays mahjong until late at night... and no longer wants to listen to what I have to say! Regardless of whether I use a calm tone or anything else, he turns around and walks away without saying anything! #In my opinion, you haven't been willing to accept his needs. Your communication is only to satisfy yourself, and in your communication, there is no room for him to make choices. You don't care about his needs, so he can only avoid communicating with you. #But I always feel like I'm the only one making an effort. He also tries, but it's intermittent. He can't control himself. We've been married for three years, and it's been three years of adjustment. #You assume that he can accept your methods, and these methods are helpful for him to relax. Do you think all of his behavior is problematic and needs to be corrected? You are indeed putting in a lot of effort, but you are also pushing him away with your efforts. If you need help, you can DM me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The paragraph talks about the frustration and helplessness of the questioner. It seems that the questioner has tried their best to reach a consensus with their husband regarding their daily interactions and habits, but it has always ended in failure. This makes the questioner feel tired and conflicted, unsure of what to do. For an adult, it is generally difficult to change someone else's behavior through external means. I believe the questioner has come to realize this through three years of adjusting to their marriage with their husband. The questioner's husband has even reached the point of refusing to communicate (regardless of whether it is done calmly or not, he just turns around and walks away without saying a word!), making it even more difficult for the questioner. If the questioner feels that they have already put in their maximum effort and exhausted all possible methods, but still cannot achieve their expected state, then they need to shift their focus back to themselves. In the face of such a situation, what should they do? When considering how to face the current situation, they must prioritize themselves. For example, the questioner mentioned wanting a divorce but also having many concerns. Have they analyzed these so-called concerns, how many are from themselves, and how many are from external factors and pressures? Due to the social nature of humans, it is difficult for us to exist without being influenced by our surroundings, which means that we are inevitably influenced by external factors when making decisions. However, this does not mean that external factors should be the main factor in our decision-making. Although external factors affect our lives in various ways, we are still the core of our lives. We are the ultimate decision-makers and bearers of our own lifestyles. Therefore, I suggest that the questioner, in the face of the current situation, regardless of what choice they make, they must first clarify their deepest inner needs. Only by starting from our fundamental needs will we not fall into a state of internal conflict and constantly feel \"tired\". I hope this is helpful to the questioner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to you, it's been tough for you in order to have a good marriage life. I don't want to say \"keep it up\", but rather some basic knowledge. Men and women have significant differences in both lifestyle and thinking patterns. There is data showing that women need to say around 20,000 words per day, while men only need about 7,000 words. The amount of words women need to say each day is about three times that of men. Many times, men have exhausted their words at work and become relatively silent when they return home. Relationships require interaction, and a marital relationship is the result of effective interaction between both parties. You can explore what he is trying to avoid and why he is attracted to playing mahjong? Perhaps we only see our own efforts and fail to see his efforts. He may be giving his all, but maybe we haven't offered timely encouragement and support, depriving him of the right to take action. Besides words, have we provided the tenderness and care that a husband needs? Do we frequently complain and blame, making him feel stressed? Each of us has our personal space, allowing the other person to experience your emotional state. Are we engaging in communication under emotional control? Have we learned to seek help and willingly show vulnerability, allowing him to participate in our lives? Good luck to you, keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, let's start with the results... The fetus is not developing well in the gestational sac. You need to confirm whether it is really related to drinking and smoking. I understand your eagerness to become a mother, but you shouldn't get stuck on this. Do you like the child? Does your husband like it too? If you haven't had a heart-to-heart talk about this yet, you can take it slow and let him mentally prepare to become a father. If you don't both want a child at the same time, it will still have an impact on your future lives. Relax and take a walk by the river holding your partner's hand, go eat your favorite food together, and watch a movie you both like. Forget about the plan to have a baby for now, focus on strengthening your relationship, and the baby will come naturally.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2106
       },
       {
        "question": "The pain of life, feeling like everything is concentrated on me?",
        "description": "Difficulty in handling interpersonal relationships, pain from the original family, childhood misfortune, feeling like everything revolves around me. I want to die but I am afraid to die. Will dying bring relief?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotional regulation, fragile tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the many things in life seem to be cyclical. When you feel good, everything seems to go smoothly, and this smoothness makes you feel even better. Then you perform better, forming a positive cycle. Conversely, there is also a negative cycle, where everything feels bad and nothing goes smoothly, leading to a downward spiral. It's like the ancient poem says, \"When the roof is leaking, it always coincides with a night of rain.\" You said that it feels like everything is concentrated on you, but perhaps you are just trapped in this negative cycle. If you can break this cycle and enter a positive one, everything will gradually improve. Actually, the pain you mentioned is all interconnected. It's because your original family was painful that you had an unfortunate childhood. This unfortunate childhood didn't allow you to learn healthy patterns of interpersonal relationships, making it easy to encounter problems in that area. Not all the problems revolve around you; it's just that one problem leads to another, triggering a series of issues. Although the impact of the painful original family is significant, it is not something that cannot be overcome entirely. Through our efforts, we can try our best to overcome the trauma from our original family, break free from the negative cycle, and create a different life for ourselves. However, this process is not simple or quick. It may require long-term effort. If possible, I suggest seeking a consultation with a counselor. With the counselor's guidance, you can reexamine your growth journey and achieve psychological growth and transformation. If you currently don't have the means, you can also read more books related to psychology, such as \"Transcending the Original Family\" and \"Having a Life Where You Have the Final Say.\" These books contain many theories and methods that can help us in our self-growth. You should know that as long as you don't give up and keep making efforts, you can gradually break free from the current terrible state. Give yourself some time, be patient, take it slow, and remember that life won't always be this bad! Sending you a hug, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Come, come here. In life, there will be some disappointments and setbacks. Many people live in a state of not having enough to eat or wear, many people suffer from terminal illnesses, and many others are caught in wars and difficulties, but they still live on with strength. The pain of life is no greater than the loss of love, the failure of career, the inability to pursue education, or the departure of beloved family members. But don't lose heart, don't do anything foolish. After the darkness, there is dawn. We are with you, always together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21182
       },
       {
        "question": "On the third day of junior high school, my grandmother passed away. I'm afraid that if I take leave, I won't be able to catch up. What should I do?",
        "description": "I asked my classmates, and they said they didn't understand anything after missing class. I also don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, giving you a warm hug. I can tell that the death of a loved one, combined with taking multiple days off, may be causing you some anxiety, especially during this critical period. Phil wants to say, first, you need to stabilize your mindset. The more critical the situation, the less you should panic. Panic and anxiety won't solve the problem and may even make it worse. It's better to face it calmly. Also, the bereavement leave is not too long, and according to the normal teaching schedule, most of the third-year of junior high school is devoted to reviewing. There are few teachers who teach new lessons during this time, so you won't miss much. Secondly, when you ask your classmates, are you asking the ones who have good grades? Or the ones who are average? Or the ones who are not good at studies? And which category do you fall into? It's possible that the material you missed is easy for you but difficult for others to understand. But no matter what, the most important thing is to retain your assignments and exams, and then ask the teacher promptly when you return to school, whether it's for the missed parts or the parts you don't understand, and make use of your free time to catch up.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           },
           {
            "start": 55,
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           },
           {
            "start": 64,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
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           },
           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 130,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ When faced with the death of a loved one, we all feel a sense of loss and agitation. At this time, it would be best for you to assist your parents or elders in handling the affairs related to the death and not worry too much. Considering future concerns will not help us solve the current difficulties, but instead make our hearts heavier and more uncomfortable. So, during your rest days, you should take care of the family matters and also take some time to relax and relieve your complex emotions. Adjust yourself well so that you can focus better on preparing for your exams when classes resume. As the stress of studying for the important exams increases, it is natural to experience significant fluctuations in your emotions. In addition to the sudden bad news, we need to learn how to adjust our mindset. What we need to face now is to approach it with a relaxed attitude and not worry too much about future concerns, as time will help you solve those problems. What you need to do now is to calm your emotions. The weather is gradually cooling down, so take good care of yourself, try not to get sick, get plenty of rest, and safely let this period pass. The birth, aging, illness, and death of loved ones are common occurrences, so you should not be too saddened. Focus on the present, study hard, get into your ideal high school, and show your acceptance letter to your grandma who is far away~ After classes resume, stick to your own pace. Whether it's regular homework or monthly exams, you may fall behind compared to your classmates. At this time, you must not let the teacher's lesson progress or the review progress of your classmates disrupt your own learning rhythm, put simply, do not panic. Continue to revise and study according to the plan you originally set. This period may be difficult, so use the free time during evening self-study or on Saturdays and Sundays to gradually digest the lessons covered during your absence. Initially, you may find certain topics difficult to understand, and psychologically reject them, thinking that you \"can't learn them at all\". At this time, you need to calm down, believe in yourself, and slowly digest the material. For parts that you truly don't understand, you can privately seek help from your teacher or classmates. As long as you maintain your rhythm, you can keep up with the rest of the class. Keep it up, and I wish you success in getting into your ideal high school!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5941
       },
       {
        "question": "In insecurity due to upper limb disability, I have the desire to go out to work, but I am conflicted.",
        "description": "I am a person with upper limb disabilities, unable to control my arms and hands. Recently, I have been extremely self-conscious and nervous when going out and meeting people, exhibiting abnormal behavior. Whenever I feel tense, my arm curls up, which makes me very uncomfortable. Currently, I can only manage to do essential tasks such as buying food and have limited interaction or communication with others. Just barely. But when I'm alone, I feel relaxed, so I have thought about going out to work. I don't have any particular special skills. Last night, I couldn't sleep at all, so I went out early to buy food before there were too many people around. It felt good, but I quickly returned home. I would like to ask if my behavior is too extreme, and if there are any suitable job options that do not require much communication or interaction with others. I want to take things step by step.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I couldn't resist clicking on the title and reading your post. You mentioned having an upper limb disability, but based on your ability to write such a long paragraph with no punctuation mistakes, your language skills seem fine. You're amazing! People often say, \"You're young and able-bodied, so you have nothing to worry about.\" Nowadays, society has become more accepting and understanding toward disabled individuals, and the government has created numerous job opportunities for this group. So, don't worry about not being able to do well for yourself, as long as you can live a normal life, you can definitely create value. However, your issue lies not in how to support yourself, but in how to accept yourself. You mentioned feeling anxious and curling your arm when you see others, which is very uncomfortable. I understand that it stems from your low self-esteem and reluctance to show your true self, leading to this series of negative emotions. Therefore, the most important thing is to have confidence in yourself. Life is not as simple as we imagine, but it's also not as difficult as we imagine. There are no perfect people in the world, and everyone has their own shortcomings. Take a look at Nick Vujicic online, maybe it will help alleviate many of your worries. Keep going, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP (^_^) / I can really understand your feelings after seeing your question. Being special does not mean being inferior. Being special only means that we may have some special needs, that's all. I have many students with moderate to severe intellectual disabilities and some children with cerebral palsy, and they still live confidently and brightly. I don't know how the attitude towards people with special needs is in your living environment. In the city where I am, people have shown more care and acceptance for the special population. Even if there are a few individuals who cannot accept it, if we can accept ourselves, then nobody's gaze can hurt us. I remember a teacher once said, \"Never look down upon 'disabled' people, because we cannot guarantee that we will not become disabled ourselves at some point in our lives, nor can we guarantee that our descendants will not be disabled.\" In this regard, it is possible for anyone to become \"disabled\". \"OP said that contacting or communicating with others is still manageable to some extent.\" OP can start from this point. Find a job that suits your abilities and is suitable for your psychological state. Take it slowly, and when you adapt, gradually move on to more interactions. Just a small reminder, it is impossible for anyone to have a smooth job search, and there may be repeated setbacks. Don't attribute it excessively to your own \"disability\" just because you hit a wall. We can't change other people's choices and perspectives, the only thing we can change is our own mindset. May we find inspiration in the following quote: \"No one can hurt you unless you allow them to.\" Wishing you all the best (\uff61\u00f2\u2200\u00f3\uff61).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. After seeing your question, I really want to stand with you and tell you that everyone is deserving of love, including you. Having a physical disability does not mean that a person is terrible. On the contrary, they must be living with great effort and even more courage than those without disabilities. I believe you may have a lot of self-doubt in your heart, and these doubts make it difficult for us to communicate and discover things we can do. You can start by accepting yourself and changing the self-doubt caused by your disability. After accepting yourself, you can mobilize the resources around you, try to ask your family or friends for possible job opportunities, or seek out local support groups for individuals with disabilities and support and help each other. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, give you a hug. As long as you still have the desire to go out and work, it proves that you are the best! According to your current thoughts, becoming a cleaner is the most suitable. You don't need to come into contact with too many people and can enjoy your alone time, which is perfect for you. This is just a suggestion, your behavior is not extreme, and all these behaviors are within a reasonable cognitive range. Step out, live independently, and gradually you will rediscover yourself, grow again, and be reborn.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20265
       },
       {
        "question": "23-year-old female has been suffering from depression for two years and social anxiety. She wants to self-regulate. How can she do it?",
        "description": "A 23-year-old woman has been suffering from depression for two years. After taking medication for half a year, she experienced severe side effects, including uncontrollable hand tremors that hinder her from performing delicate tasks. She decided to stop taking the medication on her own for six months. Currently, she is experiencing severe social anxiety, unwilling to answer phone calls or interact with others. She even refuses to leave her room. Although she doesn't want to be this way, she feels extremely anxious and nervous when interacting with others. She wonders how she can regulate herself.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, healing methods, anxious emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "This is what I wrote, my own experience, hoping to help you. Article title: \"In-depth Analysis: Why do we isolate ourselves and refuse to see any friends when we are depressed?\" In the Warm Home group, some of the depression patients I am more familiar with will find different degrees of interpersonal sensitivity and compulsive tendencies when doing the SCL-90. After the onset of depression, we find ourselves in a dilemma. After discovering the huge gap between our true selves, ideal selves, and our past selves, we cannot accept it when we see our true selves. In fact, our previous self in Horney's \"Our Inner Conflicts\" is called the idealized self, which is the self that we excessively magnified before and is not real; our current self is also not real, but has been continuously depreciated by us. In a previous article on our public account, \"The Power of Self-Suggestion\" was mentioned, which said that self-suggestion can change our thinking and then change our behavior. This suggestion can be positive or negative. It is precisely because of this that we first have a discrepancy and then have compulsive thinking. Under the constant depreciation (suggestion) of ourselves, we feel more and more that we are getting worse and worse, more and more unacceptable, and more and more worthless. Conflict with friends 01: We lost completely. After staying in the Warm Home for a long time, I am more familiar with the personality of most group members. Regardless of how their interpersonal relationships were before, they basically have two personality traits: perfectionism and assertiveness. Perfectionism makes us demand perfection in things that we particularly care about (mainly due to different growth experiences) and cannot accept any criticism; assertiveness makes us unable to lose to anyone in things that we particularly care about. The problem arises here. After the onset of depression, when we discover that our true selves are not as perfect as we imagined, and under the constant depreciation of ourselves through compulsive thinking, our current selves become more and more worthless. So our assertiveness comes out again. \"They must laugh at us, look down on us.\" \"We're done, we can never hold our heads up in front of them again. I will never be able to be proud in front of them again.\" This is the first conflict, we are inferior to others, we lost to others, and they will laugh at me. Then we start to see that people who used to be worse off than us are doing better than us, and we feel more and more uncomfortable, and we hate ourselves more and more. We feel that we are worse than everyone, and we are simply the worst person in the world. Self-confidence completely collapses, crushed brutally. Occasionally going out to see friends, but always feel that they are laughing at us, looking down on us, and anything negative they say is about us. So we have various fears, fear of crowds, fear of social interactions, and then we start to isolate ourselves and cut off contact with family, relatives, and friends. Because we cannot accept this fact, so we start to escape. We hope to find a countryside, a place where no one knows us; we hope to find a place to retreat to. 02: I want to ask for help, but I have hurt them before. In a previous article, it was mentioned that during depression, we actually desire to find friends to help us. But it is difficult to speak up. Looking back, I feel that I am ashamed to ask them for help. Because I have hurt too many people when I was in glory. Or, because we refuse to forgive others for their minor mistakes, our relationship becomes strained. When we have depression, our confidence collapses, and our previous self only showed the best side to others. And at this time, we are already in such a miserable state, and I have hurt them before, they will definitely not help me. So, I start to feel guilty, self-blame, isolated and helpless. Under compulsive thinking, constantly repeating, constantly suggesting, feeling that the past cannot be saved, if this friend who we have hurt knows how miserable I am, they will definitely take pleasure in my misfortune. Finally, it turns into another emotion: self-hatred, despair; and then continues to strengthen, and turns into self-attack. 03: Why don't they understand me? When my depression attacks, I have turned to several close friends to confide in. Of course, I didn't tell them that I have depression. I just told them about my current situation and various problems, and I told them over and over again. Friends didn't understand me at the time, and they felt that we were full of negative energy, always complaining, and didn't want to talk to me. At that moment, I started another emotion: anger. \"Why did I treat you so well before? When you were in a bad mood, it was me who comforted you. But when I am in a bad mood, you are not there for me.\" \"You should care about me, accompany me. You used to be my best and most trustworthy friends!\" ...Then, under compulsive thinking, constant suggestion, I feel more and more that there is no good person in this world, and it finally turns into another emotion: hatred. How to deal with relationships with friends? 01: Thinking that friends will mock oneself may just be projection. Many people think that friends will mock themselves, including myself before. Until one day, I learned to do things solidly, instead of always analyzing the success of something based on my own logic, but discovering the feasibility of doing things based on my own gradual adjustment. I realized that any small thing that I thought was easy before, is actually not easy when doing it, and mistakes will occur. Until one day, I learned to accept that my life is not always smooth sailing; learned to accept that I am not perfect and dare to show my imperfections; learned to accept that I will make mistakes and learn from them; learned to accept that I will fail and gain growth from failures; learned to do things step by step diligently and discover that things are not as easy as they seem... At this time, I finally started to stop judging and evaluating others, and even started to feel compassion for people in adversity and helped them sincerely. So, this is my understanding, only by reconciling with ourselves can we reconcile with the world. What you think of others, depends on your needs and your inner perspective. 02: Accept reality, appreciate and learn humbly from friends who are better than us. Our current selves are not as worthless as we imagine. We are just constantly suggesting and feeling worse in compulsive thinking, under various comparisons. In today's society, many people need to receive praise from others to affirm themselves, so when you see them showing off, it is not genuine, and it also reflects their own possible insecurities. At this time, they are not real either. Everything good you see about them is just superficial. Because we are looking at them while depreciating ourselves, so we appear to be much worse than them. Moreover, those who were worse than us before are not really worse than us, we just cannot see what we care about in them. For example, we did not care about emotional intelligence before, thinking that it is being naive and easy to be bullied. But the truth is that they know how to give, they are loyal, they are more diligent than us, so they are appreciated by their superiors. And we are difficult to control, unconsciously not putting our superiors in our eyes, so our superiors don't like us... So, we must admit our shortcomings and learn from others when necessary. Only in this way can we progress and constantly improve ourselves. Finally, those successful people around us, you have to admit that they are indeed better than us. They have higher emotional intelligence, stronger abilities, and have put in a lot of effort privately. Only when they were putting in effort, we couldn't see it, we only focused on their success. So, when it is necessary to admit defeat, we must admit defeat, don't envy, just appreciate. The envy of successful people around us is a normal emotion, not only for us with depression, but also for many normal people. It is a very normal emotion for human beings. So, you don't need to blame yourself because of envy. Envy breeds dark thinking in our hearts, and then changes our behavior, deliberately causing trouble, belittling others, and ultimately destroying relationships. Only by appreciating and learning to see the strengths of others can we learn from them and make progress. 03: Learn to understand and forgive. In fact, the world of depression patients is difficult for those who have not experienced depression to understand, including psychologists and counselors. What about our friends? We must know that during depression, all of our negative emotions and negative thinking cannot be resolved through just one conversation. It requires repeatedly discussing the same problems. And in their view, these are issues that are easily dealt with. So they may not have the patience, and in a different perspective, we wouldn't have the patience either. A few days ago, a friend left a message on our public account, saying: \"I feel like my friends don't want to talk to me anymore, and I feel like I can't keep up with their thinking.\" I replied: \"Actually, friends don't dislike talking to you, but when we have depression, we repeatedly talk about the same problems. Others may not have the patience anymore. From another perspective, you might lose patience with yourself too; it's not that you can't keep up with their thinking, but when we have depression, all our attention is on ourselves and we don't really listen to what they say, so it's normal that you can't keep up with their thinking. Everything will be fine when your depression is cured.\" This world will inevitably have imperfections, and indeed there are people who have truly hurt us. But a few people do not represent everyone. And those who hurt us may also have mental problems, or maybe we have hurt their interests in the past? Furthermore, everyone makes mistakes, including ourselves. So depression is an opportunity for us to learn to understand and forgive. 04: Make every effort to make up for past mistakes, and avoid making them again. Take the initiative to apologize. Apologizing is not giving up, but admitting past mistakes. This way, we can correct ourselves; at the same time, it helps us maintain our friendships. Perhaps our true friends have already forgiven us. Regardless, relationships are based on fate and need to be cherished. We should do our best to make up for what we can. Do what we should do and don't force others. When we apologize, some friends may still not be able to forgive us. At this moment, don't force it, just do what we can. As long as we have done what we should do, whether to forgive or not is up to others. At least, we don't need to blame ourselves anymore because the past is already in the past, regrets are futile, only lessons can be learned. A family member of a recovered patient once said, \"Work hard as much as possible, and accept the outcome that comes.\" Yes, let's do what we should do, so that we won't feel guilty or regretful, and whether others choose to forgive or not is their business. We should just do our best, avoid making the same mistakes again. In the future, when we meet new friends on the path of life, we should learn to treat them with a sincere heart, without ulterior motives. What does it mean to have no ulterior motives and not use others? It means not caring about any return. Recall that before depression, whenever we made a new friend, didn't we always think about what benefits they could bring us? At this time, we need to adjust our thinking and not care about any returns. Because treating a person sincerely and unconditionally can be felt. The so-called \"a long journey tests the horse's strength, a long time reveals a person's heart.\" Only with sincerity can we exchange sincerity. Relationships require hard work, and in the end, you will also receive genuine friendship. After recovering from depression, I have gained a few sincere friends. No matter what problems I encounter, they will support and help me. I really cherish these friends, and at the same time, I will do my best to support them unconditionally. I know that I have shortcomings, so I also accept their shortcomings and focus on their strengths, so I have learned to be tolerant. I know that I also have difficulties, so when they encounter difficulties, I sincerely encourage them. I know that I will also have good times, so when they are successful, I sincerely congratulate them instead of being jealous. Actually, how you treat friends can be felt by them. So, we appreciate and cherish each other. Because of them, I often feel happy; because of them, I feel empowered; because of them, I am no longer afraid in adversity; because I know they are there. So, I sincerely thank those friends who unconditionally support me. Thank you, because of you, my heart is often filled with gratitude. Friends who unconditionally support you are really rare, so we should also treat others with sincerity. This kind of friendship is more resilient than the friendship you obtain with ulterior motives. It made me reflect on what I really want after experiencing depression. Happiness is not having people cheering for you when you succeed, but having friends accompany you when you are at a low point in life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In your case, I advise you to continue taking medication and, in addition, to seek psychological counseling. This way, the effects will be much better. If the side effects of the medication are too severe, you can ask the doctor to switch to a medication with milder side effects. Also, I recommend that you must make sure to exercise regularly, such as walking 10k steps a day or jogging, swimming, practicing the Five Animal Exercises, playing badminton, and so on. Regular exercise will be beneficial for your recovery.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21680
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling useless and unable to solve problems, how to change one's fate?",
        "description": "I feel like I can't solve problems, I am overly dependent, and I'm very weak. I had a friend who told me the reason she doesn't like showing her drawings to others is because when she was younger, one time her classmates took her drawings and showed the whole class, saying they were ugly. I don't know how to help her, and I don't know how to comfort others when they cry. They always say it's nothing, but there was one time when my math teacher ignored me and I cried alone in a dark place. Then a group of boys surrounded me and laughed, saying I looked scary like a ghost. I felt so alone and misunderstood. That teacher, for me, was during a phase where I was giving up on myself, and he was the only one who didn't give up on me, along with another boy who unconditionally accepted me. I don't really like talking to them, and others think they have character issues, but because they accept me unconditionally and always respond to me, I feel like I can't live without them. And there's one more person, initially it was awkward when we met, but one time he greeted me first, and I wondered if he forgot about me. I also noticed that when other people don't want to be disturbed, they say \"don't bother me,\" while I say \"don't pay attention to me.\" I feel uncertain about the future and afraid of repeating my parents' life, so I want to understand my subconscious to change my destiny.",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, original poster, the ability to solve problems is something that is learned. Do not deny your future development and change just because you feel temporarily powerless. From your description, it can be seen that you are a careful and sensitive person. Your inner world is rich, but you may have difficulty expressing it in words. Perhaps you have always held a sense of caution towards your surroundings, keeping yourself cocooned in a safe shell, not getting close to others nor allowing them to get close to you. When your friend confides in you, it is because they trust you deeply. If you don't know how to comfort her, you can quietly stay beside her, hold her hand, or give her a hug. Even without words, this physical contact can convey your care. When you cry in the dark corner and passers-by may not notice, their comments like \"it's scary\" should not be taken too seriously. Their behavior is inappropriate, of course. What you should really care about is how you feel. When you feel wronged and sad, confide in friends instead of letting yourself stay in a state of sorrow and isolation. To some extent, we choose the environment we are in. When you actively face things in your environment, it may respond to you. Conversely, when you respond negatively to the environment, it may also be filled with malice. Believe in your true feelings and don\u2019t judge the appearance of the person you care about based on others' words. Judge for yourself with your heart. You can rely on your own strength to solve problems gradually instead of easily relying on others. The teacher and classmates who show positive attention to you make you feel acknowledged, and it's normal for you to have gratitude and goodwill towards them. However, this does not mean that you can't live a good life without them in the future. Be grateful to those who help us, but also have the courage to go your own way. Your belief that you cannot live without certain people suggests to yourself that you need help and that you have never valued your own strength. You have your own strengths and weaknesses. Make good use of your strengths and dare to show yourself in the crowd instead of always hiding behind. You are also worthy of being seen and stepping onto the stage. Take it slow and start with adjusting your body posture to stand tall, then let your inner self see the sunlight, and let your eyes see a future with goals. Mold yourself with care and treat those who want to get close to you. Believe that you will become better and better. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 20945
       },
       {
        "question": "Sharing moments on social media can cause anxiety, but I can't help but want to share. What should I do?",
        "description": "As a post-2000s, I've actually enjoyed posting updates on social media since I was young. I used to think that social media could record life, interact with friends, and even vent about unhappy things. Overall, I felt that it was something meaningful. Even now, I still enjoy posting updates. However, some of my friends have told me that I share too much online, especially personal thoughts, and they think it's embarrassing. There are also friends who say that instead of building an online persona on social media, I should focus on living a good life. I now feel conflicted about posting updates because sometimes it can affect others and honestly, it doesn't seem to have much meaning. So, I'm currently in a dilemma. Sometimes, I feel like what I say might make others dislike me, but I also believe that it's the real me, and I wonder why I should care about what others think. However, I don't want others to think I'm a weird person, so I'm hesitant to express myself. After every update I post, I end up feeling conflicted and torn, especially when it's something unconventional or not in line with the social norm. I don't want to always care about what others think, but I also find it boring to constantly share irrelevant updates. How should I approach this situation?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, interpersonal boundaries, social networking applications.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you~ The problem you are facing is: you love posting moments on your social media feed, but after being criticized by your friends, you start to feel conflicted. On one hand, you still enjoy sharing your life and thoughts through posting, but on the other hand, you start questioning the necessity of sharing these moments. In my opinion, the real dilemma you are facing is whether to be true to yourself or to care about what others think and hide a part of yourself. \"Moments\" on social media are originally a platform for sharing and documenting your life and thoughts. You can treat it as a record or as a means of sharing. I don't understand why your \"friends\" would judge such a simple act of posting moments as \"building a persona.\" If I were to ponder whether or not each moment is worth sharing before posting, wouldn't that be creating a persona? In your case, you simply want to document your life and share what you want to share, so how can it be considered creating a persona? You mentioned being conflicted and trapped by the opinions of others, perhaps because their words have made you overthink. Sometimes, overthinking hinders our progress. Instead, it's better to simplify things and think about why we started posting moments in the first place and whether what we are doing now contradicts our initial intentions. If it doesn't, then bravely continue doing it. How we correctly listen to others' opinions is a lifelong lesson that requires constant reflection and learning. Others' evaluations may not necessarily reflect objective facts since their opinions are influenced by their subjective consciousness. Therefore, we need to think independently and develop our own sense of right and wrong. You are a kind, lovely, and life-loving person, so don't let the thoughts of a few individuals discourage your passion for life. Although I personally differ from you in terms of posting moments, I don't believe that my way is right and your way is wrong, nor do I have any intention of controlling or changing you. On the other hand, it seems like your \"friend\" aggressively wants to change the way you live, and I hope you seriously consider this.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~ I saw your question and I deeply understand the contradictions you are facing. First of all, I am also from the post-2000 generation and used to love playing QQ space. I used to write about what happened and my feelings every day, and I didn't think it was a big deal. Of course, now I don't post on QQ as frequently as before. When QQ launched the \"On This Day\" feature, I could see the updates I made years ago almost every day, and I would think, \"Why was I so immature back then, writing everything on there?\" Unlike you, I no longer want to use social media to record my life, but you are in a contradictory state where you want to post but fear it will affect others. You are in adolescence, experiencing self-identity confusion and conflicts between multiple values, which make it difficult for you to adapt and result in internal conflicts and crises. You said you \"don't care about other people's opinions,\" but you also enjoy posting updates and interacting, but isn't the essence of posting updates to hope that others will see them? In this regard, isn't there a contradiction? If you want others to see, negative comments are inevitable. If you just want to record your life, you can use electronic diaries, memos, and other methods. Currently, the most important thing for you is to figure out the true intention behind wanting to post updates on social media. Do you want everyone to see, or is it simply to record your life? Is what you said about not caring about other people's opinions true, or is it just psychological comfort for yourself? You need to use your brain and carefully consider these questions. I hope my answer can help you. Have a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. First, I want to give you a hug (\uff61\uff65\u03c9\uff65\uff61)\uff89 Posting on social media is a common thing in life, but it can sometimes involve other people's privacy and may cause discontent. It's a good thing that you like to post on social media to record your life and share it with others. It's a way to communicate and share feelings with others. Actually, you don't have to care too much about what others think, as long as you don't write anything that involves other people's privacy. Other people's opinions or how they perceive you are their own business, and we don't have to be influenced by what others think. If you still feel uneasy, I suggest you write down everything you want to say in your own diary. I hope my answer can help you. Take care and best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think the problems you are currently facing are experienced by many people. The positive aspects of a social circle are: recording, sharing, socializing, and positive promotion. The negative aspects of a social circle are: showing off, venting, taking sides, comparing, and marketing. In fact, a social circle is just a tool for direct communication and mutual attention between people. Your current confusion is that you don't know how to use this tool and how to use it, but you really want to use it. In fact, we all want to gain attention from others through our social circle. Imagine someone living in an environment where they are not being noticed, their human nature would become distorted. For example, as an immigrant in a foreign land with language and cultural barriers, it is easy to fall into a state of self-loss and exhibit anti-social behavior. The social circle has captured people's desire to be noticed. Tools are tools after all, just like a fine artist's knife, in the hands of a skilled craftsman, it can be used to create artwork, but in the hands of a villain, it can become a weapon for hostage-taking. By using the social circle well, you can strengthen your friendships with others, but if you use it poorly, you may be isolated by others. How can you strengthen relationships? By having common interests, shared experiences, personal creativity, and the eruption of ideas that can evoke resonance. What kind of content can have a negative impact? Low-quality content, taking sides, blaming, venting, excessive complaints, and a pessimistic atmosphere. It is often seen in social circles that some people mindlessly promote their downlines in order to gain attention, which can be disappointing. However, the social circle is a window, and what you see through that window can easily lead to associations. It is also often seen in social circles that people spread rumors to gain popularity, or they share illegal pirated movies under the guise of sharing resources, which is actually illegal. In fact, a social circle is more suitable for disseminating universal values or sharing hobbies and interests. A social circle is not a counseling room for our mental healing, nor is it a personal sanctuary for self-expression. It is a broadcasting room with a loudspeaker. However, with everyone having a loudspeaker, each person speaking their own mind, voices that are neither painful nor itchy can easily be drowned out. But once there is content that attracts attention and has a flow, it can easily create a buzz in the social circle. Therefore, the social circle is our loudspeaker, and it is up to you how to use your own loudspeaker well to let others know your thoughts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's perfectly normal to share posts on social media. This is your own life and your own thoughts, so there's no need to worry about what others think. Don't pay too much attention to other people's thoughts and judgments. It's perfectly normal to want to share your happiness and life on social media. There's no need to worry about having a persona or feeling embarrassed. The posts on your social media are just ordinary things, and as long as you're not doing anything wrong, why should you feel embarrassed? If your friends say so, do you really believe that your posts are embarrassing? Actually, they're not. This is just your real life. There's no such thing as having a persona or not having one. You're not a celebrity who needs to maintain a good image for an audience. Just be yourself. Does posting on social media mean that you're not living a good life? You know for yourself what's true. Why care about what those people think? Besides, are these friends really good friends or just acquaintances? It's your own social media, so you should post whatever you want, as long as it's not illegal or harmful. If your friend doesn't want to see it, they can just ignore it. Why should they criticize you? Does your friend not post on social media? Does everything they post have to be liked by everyone? Also, if you regret posting something later, you can always delete it. You're in charge of your own social media. It's just like being a person, it can't be perfect, and not everyone will like it. You can also post on social media when you're bored. It's a way to pass the time. Sometimes, you want to share or record things, and that's perfectly normal. You can enjoy it by yourself, and you can also set your posts to be visible to certain people only. I believe that there are only one or two people who don't want to see your posts, not the majority. So why should you care about those one or two people? If they don't want to see your posts, you can block them and let them know. So, there's no need to worry about posting on social media. Besides, the people in your social media are all people you know. Is there anything wrong with sharing your life? If we can't post on social media without being criticized, then what about those who post on platforms like Twitter? That's a bigger world. So, you can still post what you want on social media. There's no need to let a few words from others ruin your mood, make you anxious, and make you hesitate about whether or not to post. This is my answer, and I hope it helps. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I suggest that the questioner should post more on social media. There are benefits to sharing on social media because it allows others to get to know you and when you focus on the positive aspects of what you are doing, your anxiety naturally disappears. The questioner mentioned that they always feel conflicted and doubtful after posting on social media, especially when sharing unconventional or non-conformist content. They don't want to constantly worry about others' opinions, but at the same time, they find it boring to only share trivial updates. How should they view this situation? In interpersonal communication, there is a concept called the Johari Window, which is a technique and theory about communication. It consists of four quadrants: the private/self quadrant, the potential/hidden quadrant, the blind quadrant, and the open/public quadrant. It covers all aspects of daily communication. By effectively using the Johari Window, interpersonal communication skills can be improved. Posting on social media falls into the open/public quadrant, which is an opportunity for others to get to know us. The larger the open/public quadrant, the more others will know about us. We can transform parts of our private and blind quadrants into the open/public quadrant, therefore expanding it and increasing others' trust in us. So, the questioner can present the positive aspects of their life to others and enhance their understanding of us. This is a good way for the questioner to approach the situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Does it mean that if a friend says you are embarrassing, you really are? We can consider what others say, but it doesn't mean they are always right. If he doesn't like your posts, he can simply block you. Why does he interfere in your life and criticize you? I don't think you did anything wrong in this matter. In life, there are people who like to post on social media and those who prefer to keep things to themselves. What does it matter if you just want to share your life with everyone else? Doing things that make you comfortable is perfectly fine. People who actively check social media want to see what's new and exciting around them, and they might feel bored if nobody posts. If others don't want to see your posts, they don't have to look at your social media. Besides, you don't constantly message and bother others, so there's no real impact on them. If sharing your life is considered embarrassing and affecting others, then what about those who constantly promote their businesses? I have many friends who are involved in direct selling, and if they post too much, I simply block them. But we are still friends, and I don't feel influenced by them. Just don't look if you don't want to see it, and I won't blame her for posting frequently. I have a friend who loves sharing her life on social media, and I think it's great. I can understand her living situation, hobbies, and recent news without having to find a topic to talk about; I can just scroll through her social media. So as long as you don't feel any issues, go ahead and post confidently. However, if your social media attracts trolls and you're relatively sensitive, maybe posting on social media isn't such a good idea. Every time you post, you might invite people to argue with you, which can make you feel unpleasant and might not be worth it. So you can observe how people react to your posts. Besides your friend, do more people support or disagree with your opinions? Do you receive joy from sharing or criticism from various sources? Your friend's point of view just represents his values, and how you choose to live is your own freedom. But he shouldn't impose his values on you and ask you to live like him. It's normal to have different values from your friend, and if he repeatedly makes you unhappy and loses your confidence, maybe it's better to keep your distance and spend time with friends who accept and appreciate you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You can never please everyone ~ everyone is expressing themselves. Artists express themselves, creating movies, music, paintings... Writers express themselves, creating countless classics... While we watch, read, and appreciate, we inject our own interpretation and resonate with the creators... It is through expression that we can get a little closer. Of course, no matter who you are, you will experience misinterpretation. No one will understand you all the time. But so what? You see different thought processes, you hear different interpretations. In psychology, in psychoanalysis, there is a situation called - the more repulsed, the more you desire. Let me give you an example: The more meticulously a person appears on the surface, the more their subconscious fears being messy and disorganized. The more they long for the ability to be casual and not be so uptight. I have a deep understanding of this. I used to be repulsed by people posting trivial matters on their social media. Is it their problem? No! It's my problem. I can dislike it, but I shouldn't be so repulsed. I shouldn't be the kind of person who feels disgusted when seeing a friend's ordinary social media post. Am I so harsh? Is my mood so unstable? Before studying psychology, I wouldn't have realized that deep down, I actually longed to freely express myself. To say whatever comes to mind. Without constantly overthinking before daring to speak up. That's why I envy and admire those who dare to post social media updates that are not necessarily \"useful\". That's why my emotions fluctuate. That's why I feel angry. Seeing it makes me feel healed. Now I no longer repel the \"ordinary social media posts\" of others. Because that's the ordinary person's way of self-expression. We are all ordinary people. It's good for mental health and convenient. If someone is really worried about it bothering their eyes, they can just block you~ Actually, I guess deep down, they also want to freely express themselves~ \ud83e\udd14.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10510
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can't provide the help that you need. It's important to reach out to someone you trust for support.",
        "description": "I am a high school student and I am completely disappointed with everything around me - my parents, friends. The only thing that I have a little concern for is my older brother, who is also the reason I am searching for meaning in life. I want to die in a clear and painless way. What are people really meant to do in this world?",
        "keywords": "Growth, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm here to support you. I don't know what you have been through that has made you feel \"completely disappointed\" with everything around you, even to the point of finding life meaningless, but I know you must be feeling very hurt right now. Thank you for letting me listen to your innermost thoughts during this difficult psychological struggle. When it comes to the meaning of life and why we are here in this world, I believe many of us spend our whole lives exploring this question. We engage in jobs we love, make friends who share our values, read books we enjoy... Every day, we directly or indirectly interact with the world, gaining different perspectives on life, and thus understanding the meaning of our own existence, searching for an answer to the meaning of life. Therefore, seeking the meaning of life is a long and interesting journey. During this process, we may experience confusion, but through our own efforts and reflections, we often find clarity and enlightenment. As a high school student, you are just beginning your journey. It's okay if you don't have a clear understanding right now. Don't rush, you still have your youth to explore, to practice; gradually, you will find the answers. You mentioned that your older brother is someone you care deeply about, and I believe you have a strong bond. In this difficult period, perhaps you could confide in your brother, express your disappointments and struggles, and share your inner concerns. Maybe he can help answer some of your questions. Of course, I also encourage you to have a good talk with your parents about how you're feeling. Maybe there were some misunderstandings between you and your parents before, but I believe that in your toughest times, your parents will stand by your side. If you feel like you can't communicate with your parents right now, you can seek help from a school counselor or therapist. They may be able to provide more specific advice. Take some time for yourself, listen to music you enjoy, watch movies or read books you like, get a good night's sleep. I hope you can overcome this darkness as soon as possible. We are all here with you wishing you the best! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I really want to give you a big hug. I also hope that someone can be by your side right now, even if they don't say anything, just being with you is enough. You are a middle school student, and I don't know what you have experienced that has made you disappointed in everything around you. But I know that you must be in a lot of pain right now, and that's okay. I also know that you want to save yourself, that's why you're here. I am also glad that you haven't given up on yourself. My friend once asked me, \"What is the purpose of living?\" and my mind went blank, I couldn't come up with an answer. I thought about it for a long time but couldn't figure it out. Could it be that I have never truly understood why I am alive? Actually, that's not true. I used to think that living was about eating a lot of delicious food, seeing more of the world, doing meaningful things, and so on. But at this moment, I feel that \"being alive\" itself is something beautiful. Actually, living is about continuously searching for meaning, and there may not be a standard answer to why we live. But you can keep searching for your own answer, right? You mentioned that your older brother is the only person you care about. I imagine that you have a good relationship with him. Try to recall those joyful and warm memories with your brother, can they help soothe your current mood? You can try talking to your trusted brother about your current feelings, discuss your future plans, tell him what you have been through. You don't need to suppress these things in your heart, and you don't need to blame yourself. Or you can write them down, write a letter to yourself, have a conversation with yourself. However, I hope you can also talk to your parents about your current situation. They can accompany you to the hospital for consultation, seek help from professionals, and find the best solution. You can learn to build your own social support network, so that when you feel pain, they can provide you with the necessary support and help you emerge from the darkness. This world may not be perfect, but we can still heal ourselves. When you reach the middle school stage, the future road is still long! You will meet more people, experience more things, see a bigger world, and feel the warmth of humanity. Please don't give up on yourself, you are truly great, and you deserve a better version of yourself. Also, here, we will always be your listeners. If you feel tired, remember to turn around and look, we are always here. Listen to some music and have a good night's sleep. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, are you interested in hearing my childhood story? I was raised by my grandparents, so I always felt that my parents didn't love me. I also have a younger brother and a younger sister, so I always had to accommodate them. I felt even my grandparents didn't love me, and I was like a stranger in my own home. In middle school, I got really angry and upset when a boy in the back row touched me, and I smashed my desk and ran to the playground crying. My desk mate ran over to comfort me and took me back to class. In ninth grade, the academic pressure was high, and no one in my family shared the burden. My grandparents, father, and mother only cared about my grades, while my younger siblings were busy playing. The contrast made the pain even greater. I felt like I had no friends at school, and no one understood me. No one genuinely cared about me. I felt extremely hopeless and, like you, I had thoughts of suicide. In a situation where my family didn't know, I locked myself in my room and held a small knife to myself. Because of their indifference and because I always seemed like a good and obedient girl. I wondered, if I died, would anyone really care? Would anyone be sad for me? But because I was afraid of pain, I ultimately didn't harm myself. I am grateful that during my teenage years, whenever I couldn't bear it, I would amplify all the grievances and the neglect I experienced. I want to tell you that the reality is not like that. Now I am 26 years old, looking back at my younger self who couldn't help but think about suicide, my heart aches for her, and I want to give her a hug, but at the same time I find that younger self quite foolish. How did I get so fixated? How did I become so hopeless about the world? How did I momentarily lose perspective? Looking back now, I realize my younger self had a narrow view. Did my grandparents, father, and mother really not love me? When I didn't want to eat because I was angry or when I was busy doing homework, my grandmother would cook noodles for me. She showed her care and didn't need to tell me verbally. Perhaps even if she told me, I wouldn't have understood at that time. My grandfather would take me to school, even though he had to work at his age. Now that I have a job and know how tiring it can be, I appreciate his effort of waking up early to take his grandchildren to school. My parents live in another city, but they often call me. Our conversations often revolve around my grades. Although it makes me feel like they only care about my academic performance and not me as a person, now I understand that for the older generation, good grades mean a successful future. They want what's best for me, and that's care. If they didn't care about me, why would they care whether I'm doing well or not? It's great that you have a place here to release your emotions. It's brave of you to talk about wanting to commit suicide. It's really great to be seen and to be cared about. I, on the other hand, didn't have many classmates with cell phones, and there weren't many computers at home. There was no place for a stranger like me to confide in. I bottled it all up inside and battled suicidal thoughts all on my own. I constantly thought about various methods. Unfortunately, I never carried them out, so I am alive today and able to chat with you, sharing my past story. It's okay to have suicidal thoughts, but please never act on them. Hold on. Time will allow us to grow and gradually see things we didn't see before. When we look back, we'll realize that we have emerged from the depths of despair. Hang in there, ninth grade is tough with a lot of pressure for the high school entrance exam. Studying every day is not easy, but you can use it to distract yourself. Keep yourself busy, and maybe you won't feel so hopeless.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 16048
       },
       {
        "question": "A 29-year-old woman has nothing and every step she takes in life is difficult and painful.",
        "description": "I work 14 hours a day and was beaten by my father until I was 22. Now my father is in a state of constantly demanding, asking for my salary and expecting me to fulfill his wishes as long as I come home. I have been suffering from depression for 8 years and currently receive frequent psychological counseling from a psychologist at Peking University. I really enjoy my current job, but every day when I wake up, I set goals on how to better complete my work. However, during the work process, I still resist the difficulties and feel tired, not wanting to finish. Then at night, I attack myself for setting so many goals that I haven't achieved. The distance between me and the carefree Dora is even farther away. My biggest obsession is having a father like Zeng Guofan, patiently guiding me through the hardships of life. I have always hoped for specific work where others can guide me, and my obsession is higher than that of ordinary people. Dependent on myself, I feel like crying every day. My father, aged 47, has no savings and indulges in eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, and smoking. I can't rely on anyone, only myself. The greatest joy in my life every day is to seek comfort from platforms that tell me about pain, even if it's only for a moment of warmth. It's especially painful to depend on myself. I wish I were a second-generation rich, with good resources that I would cherish. I dream of being admitted to Cambridge, but it's just a dream. The reality is that I'm 29 years old, I have nothing, I am nothing. All of my salary goes to donations and messages, just to make myself feel a little better mentally.",
        "keywords": "Personal growth, self-development, stress management, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I feel sorry for you. I hope you continue to receive psychological counseling and follow the doctor's advice to fight against depression. Try to feel the kindness and beauty around you, and try to love yourself instead of blaming and dividing yourself. The negative impact of your family of origin sometimes takes half a lifetime to heal. As children, we cannot resist those injuries, but as adults, we can. \"Working 14 hours a day, being beaten by my father until I was 22, and now my father is demanding, asking me for my salary and treating him well, as long as I come home, I can fulfill his wishes.\" In fact, you work much longer hours than the average person, which proves that you are very ambitious and hardworking. From your limited description, your father is not very competent, and the word \"mother\" does not appear, which is a pity, but it is not your fault. Your father's use of violence to educate you is completely unacceptable, and he should be condemned for it. Even if the law cannot punish him, you must understand this. What is even more outrageous is that he still hasn't changed his violent behavior after you became an adult. At this point, you should choose to escape, hope you can choose to escape. The injuries inflicted by our loved ones on us often have no other solution. When our hearts are not strong enough, it is recommended to avoid them as much as possible. When we are strong enough to distinguish right from wrong and control our emotions, then we can face them. Even though it is very difficult. \"I really like my current job, but when I wake up every day, I set goals on how to better complete my work. However, I still resist the difficulties at work and feel tired, and I don't feel like completing them. Then I go home at night and attack myself for not achieving many goals. I am further away from becoming a carefree Dilraba.\" I am glad that you have found a job that you like and can set goals for your work every day, which is a very good thing. You said that you cannot resist the difficulties at work and feel tired. This is the influence of depression, and it is not your lack of motivation. I believe you also understand that depression can manifest in many ways. Your resistance to work difficulties and feeling tired are not your intention, so you don't have to blame yourself. If you haven't achieved today's goals, reduce the goals a bit tomorrow, and even if you can only complete one task per day, praise yourself. Your day has not been in vain because of the tasks you have completed, and it has become valuable. You want to become a successful career woman like Dilraba. This role model is very specific, but you also need to learn and draw inspiration from Dilraba's inner strength. Her carefree attitude is based on her affirmation and confidence in herself. It is a process of self-growth and improvement, so you are gradually approaching her. Please keep going. \"My biggest obsession is to have a father like Zeng Guofan who patiently guides me through the hardships of life. I always hope that someone else can carry out specific work with me. My obsession is higher than ordinary people. I cry every day, my father is 47 and has no savings, and he indulges in eating, drinking, gambling, and smoking. I can't rely on anyone, I can only rely on myself. My greatest joy every day is to go to many platforms to share my pain and get a moment of warmth. It hurts me a lot.\" I understand your obsession with the absence of a father figure due to the lack of fatherly love, but you are very clear that there will never be another father figure to take you away from the hardships of life. If there really is someone who can take you away from the hardships of life, that person can only be yourself. You hope that someone can guide you in your work, rather than \"replace\" you in completing it, which shows that you are actually very clear that in the end, you can only rely on yourself. Some people are indeed lucky to have a lot of love from the moment they are born, but in return, they must also give a lot of love. This is a conservation law. We are not so lucky, so we did not have a good family of origin, and we could not be as successful as Dilraba in TV dramas, becoming our own queens. However, when we strive to live, constantly love ourselves correctly, improve ourselves, and find our own self-worth, it is also wonderful. What do you think? Each of us is just one of the many ordinary people. We can be successful or not so successful, but we can all complete our own tasks, find our own paths, and complete them well. \"I hope I am a second-generation wealthy, and I will cherish good resources if I have them. I dream of going to Cambridge. I'm just talking about it. The fact is that I am 29 years old and I am nothing. I don't have anything. All my salary is used to reward messages to make myself feel better.\" Let me secretly tell you, almost everyone hopes that they are a second-generation or first-generation wealthy. This is understandable. It's hard not to succeed with good resources and a high-quality social circle. And no one dislikes success, right? At the age of 29, you actually have a lot of things, 29 years of experience, happy and sad memories and stories. They make up a lively you. Every act of kindness from strangers is well kept and cherished by you. They nourish you. I hope these positive and sunny things can become your driving force to move forward, continue to live well, avoid unnecessary harm, and embrace the beauty of each moment. Above all, I wish you well~.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, give the original poster a warm hug~ I hope my answer can bring comfort to you and help you face life more bravely. 1. Rationally dealing with others' demands I empathize with your experience, as children, how should we deal with our father's demands? In ancient times, blindly obeying parents and obeying their wishes was called \"foolish filial piety\". Obviously, blindly indulging in the wishes of parents is wrong, so the original poster needs to learn to think rationally and respond reasonably to his father's demands. How to deal with father's demands? Rationally consider whether the requests made by father have the responsibility and obligation to be done. As children, we have the responsibility and obligation to support our parents, but this does not mean that we should blindly obey their wishes. If it is something that we do not have the obligation and feel difficult to do, the original poster can learn to refuse. Blindly complying will only lead to more unreasonable demands from father. Understand your bottom line and principles everyone has their own bottom line and principles to protect. The original poster must be clear about his own bottom line in order to avoid it when doing things, not to touch his bottom line, protect himself, and not make himself difficult. 2. Ensure sufficient energy for oneself #I really like my current job, but every day when I wake up, I set goals on how to do my job better, but I still resist the difficulties of the work process. I feel tired and don't want to finish it, and then I attack myself for not accomplishing many goals at night. # From the description, it can be seen that the original poster still likes his job and does not reject it, but why does he resist difficulties? Not passionate enough, the original poster needs to learn to find enthusiasm and joy in life and work. The joy mentioned here comes from a wide range of sources. The original poster needs to have a pair of eyes that find beauty and joy. Only when you feel that life is full of joy, will you have the motivation to embrace the difficulties in your work and maintain enthusiasm. Improve personal energy the original poster can try to recall whether he has feelings of \"loss of energy, fatigue and weakness, difficulties and hardships in daily life such as washing and dressing, feeling overwhelmed and demoralized\"? For your own life situation, do you often feel \"mental collapse\"? Have you ever described your situation as being like a \"deflating ball\"? If you have these worries, it is recommended that the original poster seek some psychological and social support, and can appropriately seek someone to talk to to relieve fatigue. Actively participate in exercises to make your body healthier and better cope with the difficulties of life. 3. Learn to save oneself in life, no one can only help oneself. The original poster needs to learn to grow in experience, even if life is difficult, still love life. Teacher Defen once said that true happiness comes from inner satisfaction, not from others, but from self-creation. So even if the original poster's family cannot bring him much happiness, he can still create happiness for himself. No one can take away your happiness, only whether you are willing to fight for it or not. Here I recommend the original poster to read \"Meeting the Unknown Self\", in which Teacher Defen narrates the personal growth of the protagonist in the story, teaching us how to deal with the troubles in life and how to summon the courage to overcome them. \"Meeting the Unknown Self\" is a good book to read in the low tide of life, which can help us learn how to save ourselves. I hope it can help the original poster. Life is difficult, but it has meaning because time is long and the future is still worth looking forward to! Good luck!",
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          "answer_text": "Hugs and kisses to you. In this paragraph, I see some current situations. You work long hours every day and enjoy it, but sometimes resist the difficulties of work. Your father has abusive behavior towards you, and the financial situation is not good. His current state is one of taking and he wants you to come home and give him your salary, being good to him. You have been suffering from depression for eight years and continuously seek psychological counseling. Additionally, I see your hopes. Every morning when you open your eyes, you set goals for how to better accomplish your work, hoping to do even better. You want to become a carefree office worker. You hope your father can patiently face the hardships of life with you. You want someone else to guide you through the specific work, hoping to have someone to rely on. You hope to be a rich second generation and have good resources to study abroad. Lastly, I see your resources. Despite working long hours every day, you still don't give up and still enjoy this job. Despite your father's state of taking, you still see him as your father and fulfill your obligation of supporting him. You set goals in your work, hoping to do better. You also reflect on areas where you haven't done well at night, hoping to improve. You can't rely on anyone and can only rely on yourself. You are now 29 years old and have lived on your own for almost 30 years. How strong and independent you must be! Every day, you seek solace on many platforms and have long-term counseling with psychologists. When you feel distressed, you find ways to alleviate your emotions and find warmth. You also seek help from professional counselors, finding external support. In fact, you have a dream of having good resources and being able to go to Cambridge, see a different world, and learn more things. You are also generous, using all your wages to tip others. Do you realize these resources? In the 29 years of your life, you may not necessarily be living well. Many times, you may not be in a good mood or face difficulties, but it seems like you have no one around to accompany or help you solve these problems, but you rely on yourself. By relying on yourself, you have experienced many highs and lows, pulling yourself out of one abyss after another. How resolute and brave you are! In addition, you also seek help from external platforms or professional counselors. In fact, these are your own efforts, resources, coping mechanisms, and strong will to survive. Your growth needs are so strong, and these are all positive, forward-driving forces! In this less-than-ideal life, you still hope to do your job well and have the opportunity to study abroad. These are all rare things. You still maintain enthusiasm for life and longing for the future. Although you know that it may not be possible for you to achieve right now or there are still many challenges in your work, every day, you hope to be able to complete it well and your sense of responsibility is also strong! With all that said, I am truly full of admiration for you, your resilience and efforts, your positivity and hope. You have grown into an independent and strong individual, and in the future, you will have even more strength to help you move forward. Keep going! The world and I love you~~.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello! Give the questioner a big hug through the screen~ I totally understand how you feel because I come from a similar family background and also have a terrible father. There were times when I fantasized about being born into a wealthy family, not having to rely on myself for anything, and having everyone support me, but it was just wishful thinking. The more I longed for and fantasized about those things, the more they even appeared in my dreams. After starting school, I chose to stay away from my family and rarely go back home. I didn't want to be controlled by my family anymore and wanted to have my own life, so I chose to marry someone from a distant place. Our original family will create a lot of childhood shadows for us, and if we want to get rid of these shadows, we can only rely on ourselves. Others can't help. You said you have been depressed for eight years, which shows that your father has put enormous pressure on you, and you still can't overcome the harm he has caused you during such a long time. It is clear that nobody can rely on anyone, only on oneself. Regarding family, clarify your own attitude. Find ways to improve your competitiveness in the workplace, have more autonomy in making choices, and no longer let yourself collapse for the sake of money. Everything depends on oneself. Put the hope of changing your own situation on yourself. If you don't rely on anyone, you won't be disappointed, lonely, and filled with resentments. How to get rid of psychological shadows? I believe your therapist has already told you many methods. I hope you get better soon~ Take care!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello: After reading this, I was silent for a long time, wondering what I can do for you? I think, you have heard too many encouragements, understanding, love, and empathetic words. But what you most want is \"someone who can fulfill your hopes, and a respectable, good father, but reality is so cruel, so cruel.\" Like a dandelion without roots, always drifting, without safety, without hope, without anything worth trusting. It seems that the rewards on the platform can help you find a slight connection with others, a slight sense of existence. But afterwards, you realize that this slight connection is really just a thread. Analyzing the issues: 1. Working 14 hours a day, being beaten by your father until you were 22 years old. Now your father's state is to demand, asking for your salary to treat him well, as long as you go home, you can satisfy his wishes. You have had depression for 8 years and are currently receiving frequent psychological counseling from a counselor at Peking University. (In 8 years, you have not been able to erase the shadow brought by 22 years of domestic violence. It's painful, really painful. In this world, there are always those who don't deserve to be parents, and even less deserving of being human, but insist on squeezing into a certain category [harming humanity]. Have you ever thought about how much influence, how much suffering, and how long-lasting trauma this child has endured because of him! Yes, some people don't deserve to be human, of course they can't think of it. Forgive my bluntness: this kind of father, he doesn't deserve those two words. You can definitely learn to let go and the best way to respond to him is to let him feel your pain. Of course, I'm not saying you should hit him, there are better ways.) 2. You really like your current job, but as soon as you wake up, you set goals on how to better complete your work. But during the work process, you still resist the difficulties of work, feel tired, and don't want to finish, then go home at night and criticize yourself for not achieving many set goals. (Maybe you don't know the meaning of striving, but engaging in work can give you a sense of satisfaction in participating in something. In these many years, you have developed great endurance. Maybe you no longer blame others, you only find faults in yourself, thinking you have no problem, that it's not your fault.) 3. You are further away from becoming a carefree person like Doraemon. Your biggest obsession is to have a patient father like Zeng Guofan to guide you through the hardships of life. You have always hoped that others can lead you in specific work. (Not far away, you can do it, you have the right to. \"Father\" can exist physically and spiritually. The person who has the physical form but doesn't deserve to be called a father, you better not expect anything from him because he will surely disappoint you. But you can have a spiritual father, a father like a mountain, you can have friends who are worth helping each other, you can have a partner who understands you, and you can be better than Doraemon. Besides that person with a physical form, you can have so much love. No matter how stubborn you are, I still have to tell you that holding onto obsession is the biggest indulgence for those who harm you.) 4. Your obsession is higher than that of an average person. You feel particularly painful relying on yourself and you hope to be a second-generation rich, treasure good resources and work hard to be admitted to Cambridge in the future. It's just a dream, you're just saying it. The fact is you're 29 years old, you're nothing, you have nothing, and all your salary is used to reward messages to make yourself feel a little better psychologically. (Well, yes, the more we can't have, the more we want it. You are also very aware that the man with DNA advantage destroyed you for 30 years, but what is there for you to connect with him? Nothing other than that slight [habitual pain]. By pouring out the pain he caused you, what have you left behind? What have you gained? Will he have a hint of regret? Is his regret still useful now? Of course, you have the right to continue tormenting yourself, but what will you do when he leaves, when he no longer plays with you? By that time, you'll be even older, what will you do?) 5. Relying on yourself is very painful. You hope to be a second-generation rich, and if you have good resources, you will cherish them and dream of getting into Cambridge. It's just talk. The fact is you're 29 years old, you're nothing, you have nothing, and all your salary is used to reward messages, trying to find a moment of warmth amidst the pain. (Yes, that's right, the more we can't have, the more we want it. You are very clear about the man with DNA advantage who ruined you for 30 years, but what is there for you to connect with him? Nothing other than that slight [habitual pain]. I'm sorry for being so direct. Perhaps you are also protecting that person in an invisible way because you both hate and love him, you are unable to break free, and you are unwilling to break free. I am here, we can communicate as long as you are willing. Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you good mental and physical health! If you have any confusion, you can private message me!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, madam. I saw your question and summarized two main themes for you: the most fortunate and the most regrettable. Firstly, the most fortunate thing is that you have a job that you like. Work is the foundation of one's livelihood and a platform for self-fulfillment. You spend most of your time dealing with work, so it is such a wonderful thing to have a job that you are interested in and enjoy. Moreover, you are able to support yourself through your work, fulfill your father's wishes, and demonstrate your own value. I believe that there are many moments at work when you feel joyful. What's particularly commendable is that despite having suffered from depression for 8 years and currently receiving psychological counseling, you are still working at a high intensity, with a daily work hours of up to 14 hours. This is not easy, and it is truly remarkable! You see, many depression patients have already lost their social and work abilities, and remain in a continuous state of decline in their mental and personal lives. But you are different, you are breaking free and moving upwards! Secondly, the most regrettable thing is that you feel like you have no one to rely on. You know where you should be heading, but in the process of running and ascending, you encounter difficulties and restraints, lacking strength, courage, and support, feeling lonely and unsupported. You are exhausted and weary, and I deeply understand your pain and suffering. Let me give you a warm hug! You didn't receive warmth since childhood, being beaten by your father until the age of 22. Now that you have become independent, your father only \"takes\" from you without providing emotional support. Your heart is filled with grievances and dissatisfaction, right? You feel the weight of the unfair treatment from your father. This immense burden of the heart runs through your work and life, causing you to fear difficulties, feel exhausted, and not wanting to struggle anymore. With so many scars, how can you drag yourself forward? Even though you are so tired and helpless, you still want to carry on with your exhausted body and mind. However, it is too difficult and lonely. As a result, you start self-attacking, and the cause of depression stems from this. You wish to have a strong and caring father by your side, but your father himself is drowning. In your writing, you haven't mentioned your mother. Could it be that your mother left a long time ago after witnessing your father's way of life? It is truly a great regret to not have the support of both maternal and paternal love in life! Luckily, you can rely on yourself! Now that I see the regrets and fortunes in your life, what should be done next? Firstly, your father is only 47 years old and he should take responsibility for his own life. As a middle-aged man, he should quit indulging in eating, drinking, prostitution, gambling, and drug abuse. It won't be easy for him to rely on his own nature, so you need to be determined and cut off his demands. Only provide him with a monthly allowance for living expenses. If he uses it for indulgence instead of ensuring a normal life, it is his problem. Resolutely do not give any extra money, as it would encourage his further decline. By doing this, you not only make your father responsible for his own life, but also make him responsible for your life. Being determined is not only taking responsibility for your father's life, but also for your own. Therefore, do not blame yourself and do not self-attack. Secondly, you are only 29 years old and you can completely live a good life based on your current foundation! The recent hit TV drama \"Thirty Nothing\" features three female leads who can start over from scratch, and I believe you can too! Although they do not have the psychological trauma from their original families to overcome, you have the security of a job you love. Use your psychological trauma as a starting point for healing, and everything else will gradually improve! When setting goals in your work and life, don't start with something too difficult or too big, so as to not make yourself feel overwhelmed. When you feel tired, take a break. Rest is for a better future. In your work and life, don't be too harsh on yourself. The deeper the attachment, the more you identify with your father and don't want to betray him! On this point, think carefully. You clearly hate these burdens brought upon by your father, so why do you still have attachments? In conclusion, I hope you cooperate with psychological counseling, consider other methods, and take my advice into account to gradually relieve your pain, lighten your psychological burden, reduce your responsibilities, and let yourself feel at ease. You will walk more steadily. Wishing you happiness!",
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          "answer_text": "Hug to the original poster. I feel sorry for your experience and am moved by your strength and determination. Your father's behavior is poor, he has been physically abusive since you were young and has not provided enough love and care for you. It can be said that you have been deprived of paternal love and he has not fulfilled his responsibilities as a father, and thus does not deserve respect and support. You have been suffering from depression for 8 years, and the difficulties and psychological trauma you have experienced growing up in such a family environment are imaginable, especially as a girl. It's not easy. Despite that, you are still persisting with treatment, working hard, enjoying your job, making plans for your work, and having your own goals. You also have to meet your father's demands. From all this, it is evident that you still have great hope and determination for your life deep within, that you have the ability to be independent and rely on yourself, and that you can fight against injustice and pursue your dreams with your own strength. As long as you still have this inner strength and hold onto your goals and dreams, I believe you will be able to overcome difficulties and get through this tough period. Your greatest anxiety and pain right now come more from the pressure you put on yourself. You love your work and have invested your emotions in it, and you really want to do it well, so you have set many goals and plans for yourself, hoping to achieve them. Perhaps you are impatient and want to do your work well as soon as possible, to prove yourself and achieve your goals. However, work is endless and there will always be more to do than you can handle. We set goals in order to arrange our work in a reasonable and efficient manner, not to burden ourselves with excessive tasks and pressure. Therefore, you should make plans based on your actual situation and abilities. You can first think about why you work so hard. Is it for financial income? To learn and gain experience, to improve yourself? To prove yourself and gain recognition from others? What do you think is the root cause of your mental exhaustion and pressure? Are you afraid of not doing your work well and not making money? Afraid of not being recognized by others? Afraid of not being able to learn and grow? If you can take some time to think about it carefully, clarify your inner thoughts and needs, perhaps you will be able to look at your work in a new light, accept everything about yourself, and reduce the pressure you put on yourself. The key is to arrange your work plan reasonably, and set realistic goals within your capabilities. Don't rush to achieve your goals and overload yourself. It is already good enough to complete 3-5 tasks a day. Regardless of how well the work is done, you don't need to blame or criticize yourself when you come home at the end of the day. If you are not satisfied, focus on identifying and improving the problems, review your work, and learn from the experience to make improvements the next day. You can also summarize the aspects where you have done well, at least to make progress compared to before, and acknowledge your efforts. Through this progressive and positive process of self-affirmation, we can still achieve our goals and continue to grow and improve. As for your father, who has been causing you harm and has caused resentment in your heart, you still have to support him out of filial duty. On the other hand, you have a strong desire for paternal love and a certain level of attachment to your father, which is why you continue to tolerate the harm he causes you and cannot let go or separate from him. Each of us is an independent individual, and as we grow into adults, we must separate ourselves from our original families. This is an inevitable process of growth. In addition to physical separation, there must also be psychological separation and independence. First, you need to establish boundaries with your parents. Regardless of how close your relationship is, you need to establish certain boundaries. Differentiate between subject and object, avoid excessive entanglement and intrusion. Respect the other person and also maintain your own individuality. If there are things that are unreasonable or responsibilities that you don't need to shoulder, you shouldn't take them on and add unnecessary pressure and worries to yourself. Your father did not fulfill his responsibility to support the family and his own life, and he has no right to demand that you shoulder his life and excessive demands. At this point, what he is doing to you is emotional blackmail and psychological control, and you need to break away from it as soon as possible. Out of filial duty, you can provide him with a certain amount of financial support, but there is no need to give too much beyond your capabilities. You should also be able to say \"no\" to some of his unreasonable demands and firmly reject them. Perhaps out of habit, you are afraid of him and feel compelled to satisfy him. But to be honest, you have already grown into an adult, independent and capable of supporting yourself. You no longer need to depend on your father, nor should you be afraid of him. He does not have the power or qualifications to suppress or exploit you. You need to have the courage to defend your own rights and, if necessary, leave him. After all, he has long lost the qualifications to be a father. Furthermore, you need to make your emotions and cognition independent, breaking free from the constraints of your original family and your father's control. Believe in your own power and focus on your own life. You have the ability to persevere with your work and pursue your dreams. You still have certain inner strength, so harness it. I believe that you have the ability and determination to choose your own life and change your current situation. I've rambled on so much, I hope you have the patience to read it all and find some support in it. Keep going!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, I feel sorry for you and sending you a hug. The harm caused by domestic violence in one's original family is long-lasting and profound. Being subjected to domestic violence by your father until the age of 22, while he indulges in vices such as eating, drinking, prostitution, and gambling, he demands that you come home and take care of him, using your salary to support him. His actions not only harm your physical well-being but also hurt your heart. It is true that children have the obligation to support and respect their parents, but we should reject the kind of blind obedience and complete support. The heart is made of flesh, and your father knows how he treats you. In fact, you can send a fixed amount of alimony every month, without even seeing him. But obviously, you have expectations for your father. You hope that he can be like Zeng Guofan, facing life's hardships together with you. However, instead of fulfilling your expectations, you are met with overwhelming disappointment. Actually, the answer to this is self-evident, and I'm sure you understand it yourself. He is not a father you can rely on. Based on your description, I sense that you are very lonely. Working 14 hours a day, 24 hours a day, leaving only enough time for eating and sleeping. It seems that you have no social life, no friends, and no personal time for entertainment \u2013 you are putting too much pressure on yourself. You love your job but as soon as you wake up, you set goals for yourself. When you come home at night and find that your goals haven't been achieved, you attack yourself. You love your job but also hope that someone can accompany you to accomplish it, and you desire support. Suppressing this, you hope for a good family, you hope to be born into wealth, so that you can cherish those resources, get admitted to the Cambridge University you love, and you hope to have a father like Zeng Guofan who can accompany and lead you. You want your work to be specific and detailed. You want your work to have fewer difficulties. Although you love your job, you feel a lot of pressure from many aspects of work. With 8 years of depression, you have continuously received counseling from a therapist \u2013 you dislike this repressed life, you want to change, and you understand very deeply the reality you are in and the dream world you expect. As I write these words, I feel a sense of oppression in my own heart. I think this feeling is probably many times worse than what you experience every day. But there was a moment when I had an impulse to cry, an inexplicable surge of emotion that made me feel uncomfortable. You need the courage to refuse. If you really don't want to go home, if you really don't want to satisfy your father's demands one by one, then refuse. Don't burden yourself too heavily, you have already done what you should. Sometimes it may seem heartless, but the exchange of emotions is mutual, the experience of emotions is also mutual, true affection comes from exchanging hearts. You need the courage to communicate. Does your father know what kind of person you hope he becomes? Does your father know about your inner pain? Does your father sympathize with your experience and feel sorry for his daughter? You might as well tell him all those accusations, all that resentment, and all that pain. And tell him about your expectations and dreams. You need the courage to let go. If all these actions cannot earn back that true affection, if indeed he can never become a father even slightly resembling Zeng Guofan, then let it go. Don't dwell on what kind of person your father is anymore, fulfill your obligations, make yourself happy, don't be oppressed, forced, or commanded by him, do what you truly want to do, live your own life! Communication makes you more relaxed. You almost completed double the 8-hour workday, so sacrifice some of your overtime hours to make friends, meet people, and do things that make you happy, instead of working day and night. Try to make some close friends, contact old classmates you haven't seen for years, find a lover you can embrace intimately. If there are some tasks that are difficult for you to complete on your own, seek help from your coworkers. Try attending a few social events, join some social gatherings, expand your network, and make your life not only filled with work and a family that makes you sad. Do what you want to do, follow your heart, don't let your stress engulf you. Venting out loud, I don't know how long it has been since you shed tears, or how long it has been since you went shopping in a mall without any concerns, or when was the last time you took an impromptu trip? Do you think about crying every day, but only manage to sob for a while and then stop, telling yourself that you have more important things to do? Go to the outskirts, away from the noisy city center, go to the mountaintop, release all the suppressed emotions from these years by shouting, crying, and pouring your heart out to the mountains, the forests, the wilderness, and the vast sky and earth. Go shopping thoroughly, pick, try on, bargain, let the hustle and bustle of the marketplace blend with your breath. Or, go on a trip, join a tour group or plan a solo trip meticulously, temporarily leave behind the life that makes you sad and suffocated, and adopt a different way of living, experiencing a different meaning of life. Keep your life fresh, let those negative emotions come out all at once when you need to vent, and wholeheartedly immerse yourself in the happiness you need when you need it. Have the courage to put aside your work, have the courage to step out of the house, have the courage to buy a ticket, have the courage to face a life that belongs only to you!\n\nI genuinely hope this can help you. We are all here for you!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear OP, it feels like I'm talking to you face to face. Reading your description, a sense of bitterness inexplicably arises in my heart. If we were really face to face, I would love to give you a big hug, even as a stranger. I feel really sorry for your experiences. Let's try to analyze your situation together and find some ways to relieve your emotions and stress. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. The most deeply ingrained influence for you is your father. His actions directly caused your mental problems, in addition to work pressure and age pressure. With all these external factors, every step you take now seems difficult and exhausting, sometimes even unbearable. You mentioned that your father used to beat you and engaged in all sorts of vices. This kind of father didn't bring you warmth and care, but violence and shadows. However, you can't escape from such a father. The bond of blood tightly connects you. You couldn't escape it when you were young, and even as you grew up, you still cannot escape it. You have to give your father money and do well in front of him, which adds to your pressure. People often say that parents always have their children's best interests at heart, so children should be obedient and not rebel against their parents. This kind of statement is common, but forgive me for not agreeing. In my opinion, children are not accessories to parents. Every child should have an independent personality, freedom, and \"wings\" to fly. Parents give their children life, but it doesn't mean they have the right to control their children's lives. Once they damage a child's freedom to develop and excessively interfere in their lives, then they are \"not\" being proper parents. Your father is a \"not\" being a father. He is not a qualified father. Even if he has his own pressure and difficulties, he shouldn't vent them on you. However, all of this has already happened, so what should we do? Reconcile with yourself. Sometimes the greatest pain for a person is being unable to escape from past suffering. The nightmares of the past were not your fault. First of all, you need to affirm yourself, and then reconcile with yourself. You need to believe that when you lose something, you will gain something else in another form. Since the past is irretrievable, let it go. Don't dwell on those unbearable things. They are not worth your thoughts. Therefore, look forward. You said you have been depressed for 8 years. I wonder how you managed to get through all these years. What I hope is that now that you are aware of your problem, you shouldn't suppress your emotions. In addition to the psychological counseling you are currently receiving, it's best to seek medication treatment as well. Cry when you want to cry, vent when you want to vent, and when you feel pain, allow yourself to pause for a moment. Tell yourself: when it comes to suffering, I don't have to try so hard. I need to give myself some breathing space. I need to love myself. Fortunately, you still have a job that you enjoy and a career that you are passionate about. This will bring more brightness into your world, so don't extinguish it. You said you plan your day full and have unfinished goals, so the job you like also brings you stress. In any case, I still hope you can slow down a bit and not be so desperate. Take a moment to reflect. Don't rush on the road. Maybe your path will be easier to walk. Finally, stop denying yourself. Compared to many others, you are already brave enough. You are not empty-handed, you are not nothing. You have been working hard to move your life forward for 29 years, haven't you? Believe me, you are really amazing! When you have no one else to rely on, you only rely on yourself. Sometimes it's exhausting and painful. So, please promise me that in the future, you will be good to yourself. Tell yourself that there are things I have done my best on and I can allow myself to take a break. When I regain my energy, I will work hard again. It's great that you like to share on platforms. That's really good. Feel free to private message me next time you have any troubles. Take care and keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Lou Lou, hello! I feel really sorry for what you're going through. Firstly, let me give you a warm hug to hopefully ease your mood a bit. Try to start by accepting yourself. No one is perfect, and I too have sometimes wished I was born in the city or had more money. But those are just fantasies. We can't choose our background, but we can learn to slowly accept this reality. Don't rush yourself. I recommend you take a look at the book \"The Road Less Traveled,\" it might give you some new insights. When setting goals for yourself, don't set too many; just focus on what's suitable and take breaks when you feel tired. It's all in order to go further. Life may be messy at times, but we still need to live happily. Relying solely on yourself is truly exhausting, and I understand that deeply. Let me share a story with you: back when I was a freshman in college, I got sick with a high fever for three to four days. I had no friends or family around; it was a completely unfamiliar place. I went to the clinic alone and received six injections, which came with uncomfortable side effects. I continued to have a fever at night, so the next day I went to the hospital, got a blood test, more injections, and paid the bill. This whole process was really tough, and if I had the choice, I wouldn't want to experience it ever again in my lifetime. Compared to what you're going through, my experience might seem insignificant, but Lou Lou, believe me and believe in yourself too. Life is indeed difficult and bitter, but it's also fleeting. Once we get through it, we'll be victorious. You can do it, really, give yourself some encouragement. At 29, you're still very young. Time is your greatest wealth, it can create anything. If there's something you want to do, you can do it. In this world, there's nothing impossible if you set your mind to it. Don't think that you're not good at anything or don't know anything. The fact that you can do a job you love is something many people envy. Some people may never find a job they like and end up doing what they hate. So Lou Lou, you are truly fortunate. Take care, let's fight and overcome this together. I hope my answer can help you. Wishing you all the best. The world and I will always love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12718
       },
       {
        "question": "How to get over the hurdle of your boyfriend's ex?",
        "description": "They have been living together for nearly four years, which makes me feel like they're already married, just lacking the certificate. I feel uneasy about it. Moreover, when he and I were in the ambiguous stage or just starting to date, he was still living with his ex-girlfriend (according to him, they were just living in the same house and not doing anything, as their relationship had already ended). This made me very uncomfortable, and it has always been a thorn in my heart. A few months ago, when I was browsing his Taobao account, I found that in February he had bought bras and women's jackets. At that time, we were already together, and he told me that his ex-girlfriend used his Taobao account to make the purchases. After I cried and made a scene, he changed his Taobao password. I did not investigate the matter further. In May of this year, his ex-girlfriend even called him to ask for the money he owed her, which made me feel that they still had a connection. I felt very uncomfortable, and one time I even found him secretly checking his ex-girlfriend's updates. My emotions were in chaos, and I comforted myself by saying that maybe he was just curious, and not that he still loved her. Now his ex-girlfriend hasn't bothered him (or maybe I just haven't noticed), but there's still a thorn in my heart, and I occasionally suspect if they're secretly in contact.",
        "keywords": "Love, a sense of security, love cultivation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Give the OP a warm hug. From the OP's description, I understand that the OP is sensitive about the relationship between the boyfriend and the ex. I can totally understand your feelings, and I'm willing to share some advice with the OP, hoping to help. Firstly, the OP may feel a lack of security in the boyfriend. Building a sense of security requires effort from both individuals, so the OP can directly communicate with the boyfriend and express concerns and worries. Effective communication can also avoid unnecessary suspicions. Secondly, it can be seen that the boyfriend has made changes in his actions towards the ex, which can be seen as a signal of his attitude. The OP also needs to see these efforts from the boyfriend, and we should try to focus on the future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12009
       },
       {
        "question": "26 female, it has been over a year since breaking up with my ex-boyfriend and I want to completely move on and start a new life.",
        "description": "I have spent some time sorting, healing, and growing myself. I discovered some issues from my original family in my previous relationship, one of which was that my ex had a very similar personality to my father, even more irritable. Deep inside, I want to find the feeling of a father figure to make up for the lack of fatherly love. From unsuccessful relationships, I have learned: 1. I should pursue a relationship with someone who has a relatively healthy personality. 2. I am deserving of love and kindness, and I should build confidence and self-worth, heal myself, and establish a relatively healthy personality before entering a new relationship. 3. Mature love is about giving. 4. I should completely let go, become aware of my own shortcomings from past experiences, and start a new life. How can I completely let go and not be occasionally bothered by my ex?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think you have summarized yourself very well. After going through an unsuccessful relationship, you were able to analyze your own issues and learn from the experience. The current focus is on how you hope to quickly let go of the past relationship, sort yourself out, and start a new life. In response to this issue, I would like to offer you a few suggestions that I hope will inspire and help you: \"If you can't let go, then hold onto it.\" First, you need to relax psychologically and not force yourself to let go quickly or immediately. Give yourself the mental suggestion that \"not being able to let go\" is not necessarily a bad or serious thing. It can sometimes have positive effects, such as being more cautious and reflective in facing new relationships. In short, try to \"minimize\" the negative effects of not being able to let go and \"emphasize\" the positive effects it can bring, which is an important step in using this \"inability to let go of emotions\" for yourself. \"Do what you can do.\" When it comes to emotions, often we can only do what we are capable of, including letting go. So in addition to mentally suggesting that you relax, you naturally have to do something to help yourself let go as soon as possible. For example, cultivating hobbies to divert your attention, talking to friends to get different perspectives, seeking opportunities to interact with the opposite sex to expand your social circle, or even seeking help is also an option. However, after trying your best to do everything you can to \"let go,\" you should be more detached from the outcome, because it is possible that no matter how hard you try, you may not achieve the results you expect in matters of the heart. But from another perspective, we have developed new skills, improved our relationships with friends, expanded our network, and learned new psychological knowledge \u2013 all of which are signs of growth. So \"do what you can do,\" while putting less pressure on yourself, will help you let go more quickly. We often say that you have to leave it to time to let go of an unforgettable relationship, and one day you will find that the person you thought you couldn't live without suddenly becomes a stranger in your mind. And all we can do is use our own efforts to make that day, and those difficult times, shorter and more meaningful. Sincerely hope that you can let go soon, and perhaps then you will understand what I meant by \"it doesn't matter to let go.\" Good luck, and keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, I can tell that you have a good analysis of your own emotions and have gone through a period of self-growth to alleviate the pain of heartbreak. You're doing great. Now, your problem is that you are still affected by the previous relationship, and you want to completely let go and start anew, right? Let's talk about it together. \"Completely letting go\" is not the way to solve this problem. When we try not to think about something, it actually makes us constantly remember it. If you insist on completely letting go, it will bring pain and keep that thing binding you. After all, relationships are deep, and it's okay if you can't completely let go. There is no need to force yourself to completely let go before starting a new relationship. For the past relationship, we can face it calmly and that's enough. This way, we will not be influenced by the past. From your narration, it seems that you have undergone self-healing and are gradually accepting your past self, the self that wasn't loved. When you can fully accept your past self, make peace with all the things and people who hurt you in the past, then you can face the past with ease. I believe that as you continue to grow, you will meet a better version of yourself. As for occasional harassment from your ex, it's important to handle this issue properly. If you don't want any contact with him anymore, you need to show firmness in your attitude but use polite and calm language, at least not to provoke him. As for his persistent disturbance, you can choose not to respond or pay attention. Over time, he may feel that it's pointless and stop bothering you. Regarding starting a new life, I think you have already started a new life. You began a new life from the moment you started healing and growing after the heartbreak, becoming a different version of yourself from the past. So, please don't rush, and don't put pressure on yourself. Focus your energy and time on self-growth, living your life, working, and socializing. Let everything develop naturally, and I believe that one day you will have a satisfying relationship. In this relationship, you and your partner will rely on and care for each other, becoming better versions of yourselves. The world and I love you. I wish you a happy and fulfilling love life as soon as possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is said that time is the best medicine, but it is indeed not so easy to completely let go of someone. Letting go is indeed difficult because an unintentional moment can easily evoke memories deep within our hearts, especially for some unforgettable things that are hard to forget. Therefore, it is better for us to learn to accept. Even if we meet him again in the future, we will know that it is just a simple segment in our lives, and that we were not suitable for each other, which may cause a slight ripple but will not have much impact on our current life. In fact, from the moment we separated from each other, we have already begun a new life. It is just that some previous experiences have kept us from letting go, so we engage in reflection and self-healing. The questioner has grown a lot from the previous experiences, also understanding what kind of partner they want and what emotional maintenance relies on, but we should not have too high expectations. After all, everyone goes through a process from being immature to mature, so even mature partners will have various problems. Therefore, in the end, we must be mentally prepared. A good partner is not one without arguments, but they will handle the problems that arise and make it acceptable for both parties. Our experience with the other person is the same. Only after really getting along will we understand whether we are compatible or not. Whether we can continue requires mutual understanding, tolerance, and a willingness to change ourselves. Letting go means accepting our past selves, recognizing our own shortcomings, and understanding where the issues with the other person lie. For some people, the past is truly in the past. They have brought us beautiful moments and left us with negative impressions, but we have grown up and can face many things calmly now. The world loves you and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Friend, hello. From your description, I can tell that you are a motivated and eager-to-learn person. You are aware of your emotions and have analyzed the reasons behind them, which is a good start. However, sometimes we cannot fully overcome these emotions on our own and need someone to lend us a helping hand. Have you ever heard of the Oedipus complex? The Oedipus complex, also known as the Electra complex or Orestes complex, is a term in psychoanalysis coined by Sigmund Freud. It refers to the complex emotions a girl experiences in the third stage of her sexual development, where she develops intense feelings of love for her father and resentment towards her mother. She sees her father as her primary object of sexual desire and considers her mother as unnecessary, often desiring to replace her in her father's affections. This complex can make us seek partners who resemble our father when we grow up, and it seems that many girls' boyfriends have similarities to their fathers. My husband is also very similar to my father. My father smokes, has a gentle temper, and doesn't argue, and my husband is almost a carbon copy of him. It's strange, the feeling of both of them treating me well, even though they don't express it verbally, they both show it through their actions. Finding someone similar to our father is not necessarily a bad thing, and it doesn't mean that a person similar to our father is psychologically unhealthy. It just depends on whether you can accept such a person. When you enter a new relationship, you need to be able to move on from your previous one and accept the new relationship with the best version of yourself to have a chance of finding the best person. It is often difficult for women to move on from a relationship in which they have sincerely invested. If it is not suitable, there is no need to stubbornly hold on to it. You can cherish it as a beautiful memory, as everyone has unforgettable memories in their lives. When we grow old, we can share these memories with our children and grandchildren. Even when we were young, we had our own charm. Keep going, friend. Believe that you can move forward, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "To completely let go of a relationship, time and distance play a big role. Any relationship will gradually fade with the passage of time until it no longer stirs any emotions within oneself. However, in order to achieve this, it is imperative to not frequently contact an ex-partner, occasionally chat, or still see their updates on social media. These little things deepen the connection between each other, making it difficult to forget each other and even maintain a lingering attachment. Therefore, if the original poster has confirmed that there is no longer any connection with the ex-partner, deleting each other and forgetting about them in the dating pool is the best approach. No one has a perfect family background, and we all live our lives with imperfections. However, this is not the most crucial aspect. What matters most is that we recognize our own problems and consciously make changes, no longer walking the same path and becoming wiser. This is how we can free ourselves from the confinement of our original family. Just like the original poster believed they chose their ex-partner because they reminded them of their father, but their father was a very hot-tempered person. So, what kind of problems do you think might arise from being with a hot-tempered partner? Would you both struggle to communicate, with the other only resorting to violence and causing harm to you? I believe that your desire to start a new life is because the feelings brought by the ex-partner were not pleasant. Therefore, when selecting a partner, should you choose someone with a gentle personality and good communication skills? Now that you have realized this, in your future life, you need to tell yourself that you deserve to be treated kindly. Your father and ex-partner's hot temper caused you a lot of pain, so you should find a partner who is emotionally stable so as not to repeat the same mistakes. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, but that's okay as long as you don't continue to fall into the same hole. The original poster is now able to reflect and learn from their experience, gradually growing. You are learning to break free from the limitations imposed by your original family, not allowing your emotions to control you like your father or ex-partner did. You have learned to live using your intellect. You are right, you deserve to be loved and treated well. Only when you are whole will you attract someone like-minded, leading to a healthy and beautiful relationship, rather than hurting each other and blaming one another. Mature love indeed requires effort. Of course, it is also important for the other person to be able to reciprocate that same effort. Mutual giving is what creates a balanced relationship. If you are the only one giving while the other person greedily accepts, it is not a good relationship and will only make you lose confidence. I believe that a good relationship can bring you confidence because your partner genuinely appreciates and cares for you, making you feel less alone in this life. There will always be someone standing by your side, supporting and encouraging you. When conflicts arise, instead of blaming each other, you will learn to communicate honestly and consider the problem from the other person's perspective. Let the past be in the past. The original family cannot determine a person's entire life. Crying over spilled milk is pointless, but the experience and lessons you can learn from it are precious. Just like the original poster has gained a deeper understanding of love and life, and is evolving towards a better place, that is already enough. Even if you can't completely let go right now, it's okay. People gradually grow and heal. Give yourself some time, be patient, and believe in your potential. You are already doing great.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2541
       },
       {
        "question": "Am I finding it difficult to be self-disciplined because I've gotten used to being lazy?",
        "description": "In the past year and a half, I have been wanting to take the graduate entrance exam at the end of this year. However, due to my limited self-discipline, it is difficult for me to go to bed and wake up early without external constraints. My study plan is also hardly implemented. I think it may be because I have already become accustomed to a lazy lifestyle, which is why I lack perseverance in the exam preparation process. I can only focus and study for a short period of time when under intense mental pressure and barely make progress. Is this viewpoint reasonable?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, developmental principles, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, if you have been spending a lot of time on your phone recently, it is very likely that it will become increasingly difficult for you to focus and concentrate on studying. This is because your brain has become accustomed to high-intensity stimulation, and activities like reading, which provide less stimulation, no longer satisfy you. Regarding your difficulty in achieving a consistent sleep schedule and sticking to your study plan, the truth is that the challenge lies more in going to bed early than waking up early. Based on my recent experience, once I start a plan and fill my days to the brim, I often get caught up in one task and keep extending the time allocated to it, ultimately sacrificing rest time. I end up pulling all-nighters and feel tired the next day, which causes me to be unable to complete the plan for that day. This has been the result of my recent practice, and I have come to the conclusion that sometimes you won't know what kind of study plan is suitable for you unless you try it. There is no one-size-fits-all study plan; it needs to be flexible and adjusted based on the daily tasks at hand, gradually refining it to fit your needs. Regarding your description of being able to concentrate only under high mental stress, I don't think this is entirely reasonable. Prolonged periods of mental stress are not helpful for learning; they can instead lead to a dislike for studying. Additionally, it seems that you are not familiar with the categorization of tasks in psychology. Psychology categorizes tasks into four types, and it is clear that you have not prioritized the most important category, which is important and urgent tasks. As long as you lack this awareness, you will not feel a sense of urgency and will develop a habit of procrastination instead of taking immediate action.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6405
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like my life is a failure, very bad, and I can't find a purpose.",
        "description": "I have a severe case of OCD and anxiety disorder. When I was a child, my father treated me very well, and my family also showered me with love. However, he would hurt my mother, even though their relationship seemed fine. I once witnessed him stabbing my mother with a knife, and she was covered in blood. I intervened and ever since then, I started to engage in compulsive behaviors. I also suspect that I have been exposed to drugs through him, so I constantly go to the police station to verify. Even after using testing strips, I still can't rest assured. Later on, when I come into contact with people, I have to change clothes, wash my hands eight hundred times a day. As I grew up, I met a very understanding boyfriend who tolerates my actions. I hit him whenever I want to and often pinch and slap him. Occasionally, when he reacts and gets frustrated, he pulls my arm and worries about my safety. I doubt if he has violent tendencies and constantly seek confirmation from various websites. Everyone tells me that he doesn't and he is very good, but I still ask other people repeatedly. I think I am terrible. Even when I set goals, I still lack motivation. I am afraid to take the medication prescribed by the doctor. I have severe hypochondria and live in constant fear. I feel like I have inherited too much from my parents, being dominant and doing whatever I want. I am always reluctant to do anything and lack enthusiasm for many things. The compulsive behaviors have already had a significant impact on my life. I really want to give myself a break.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, psychological counseling, trauma therapy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: It's not easy! Listening to your description is like being on the scene, and your suffering is not only physical but also mental torture. You have experienced several categories of the five major traumas in childhood: important people using drugs and violence, which can bring great shadows to a child's growth. Your unstable personality and the origins of various symptoms are closely related to these. Analyzing the problem: 1. You have a very severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety disorder. When you were young, your father was very good to you, and your family also spoiled you, but he would hurt your mother. Their relationship seemed very good, but you once witnessed him stabbing your mother with a knife and she was covered in blood. You stepped in to stop it, and since then you have developed compulsive behavior (growing up as a child who has received love and a child who has not experienced it will have different outcomes. Look at you, you have parents and family who show you \"doting love\" but also extreme violence in front of you. Imagine which child can handle that. It is the combination of \"ice and fire\" and is easily explosive. A child's capacity for tolerance is limited; either they love deathly or they are bloody deathly. They cannot bear it. It will transform into an \"extreme character.\" \"Anxiety\" is the precursor to depression, and \"compulsion\" is caused by things that cannot be controlled.) 2. Your suspicion of being exposed to drugs from being around him caused you to continuously seek confirmation at the police station, and even after testing with test paper, you still weren't reassured. Later, when you were in contact with them, you had to change clothes and wash your hands eight hundred times a day. As you grew up, you met a boyfriend who was very tolerant of you, and you would hit and pinch him often (violence can be learned. \"Drug\" is not just a substance for you; it is a \"painful memory.\" You passionately reject this kind of pain in your heart. You detest it and detest the harm it has brought to your family. So you're afraid you might accidentally be contaminated too, so you constantly seek verification and test it to prevent any mishaps. You wash your hands eight hundred times a day, which has turned into a \"compulsive habit.\" Meeting a boyfriend who is so tolerant of you is your luck, but this luck is not always there; sometimes it runs away. He will be there when he can bear everything you throw at him, but what happens when he can't bear it? Do you think he might run away?) 3. Occasionally, when he was pushed to his limit, he would react, and he would grab your arm when you went out in the middle of the night, worried about your safety. He would knock the paper ball out of his hand when you hit his head and so on. You would doubt if he had a violent tendency and constantly seek confirmation from various websites. Everyone tells you he doesn't, that he is very good, but you still ask others repeatedly (because you can't \"determine\" if a man has a violent tendency. You understand the reasoning, but emotionally you can't understand it. Because you once had such a good father who treated your mother so badly, you witnessed all of it, so you \"don't believe\" that the man in front of you could love you so much. Therefore, you keep seeking confirmation, keep \"testing his boundaries,\" and as soon as he even slightly deviates from your perception, you \"start suspecting\" whether he has a violent tendency.) 4. You feel that you are too terrible, even after setting goals, you still have no motivation, and you are afraid to take the medicine prescribed by the doctor. You have severe hypochondria and live in the shadow all the time. You feel that you have too much influence from your parents, being domineering, doing things as you want, always unwilling to move, lacking enthusiasm for many things. Compulsive behavior has already affected your life, and you really want to let go of yourself (yes, you have also realized it. You have learned both the good and the bad from your original family, but you forgot that you are not them; you are just yourself. To understand this simple truth, you need to undergo \"psychological healing,\" you need to take medication in conjunction with a doctor, it requires a two-pronged approach. I can feel your pain and the psychological and life impacts brought by various neurotic symptoms. You are right; you are not letting others go; you are \"hurting yourself.\" It is also a subconscious \"revenge\" against your parents.) Conclusion: Wishing you happiness and joy! Wishing you to live the life that belongs to you as soon as possible! If you have any confusion, you can private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello. Understanding your concerns, I want to share some new ideas with you, hoping it will be helpful. You have now clearly realized that you have a problem because it has been affecting your life. Actually, seeing it is the beginning of healing. When we speak out the problems that have been piling up in our hearts, change becomes possible. When we experience some compulsive behaviors, let's not label ourselves too easily. At this time, we are just being cautious and careful to avoid feeling hurt. It simply means that you are being very cautious and careful in using this method to reassure yourself. But you know that you feel like it's excessive. It only shows that you have experienced some unbearable trauma, such as domestic violence and drug abuse from your father. This has made you too fearful. According to Cong Fei from the Talent Education Center, when we imagine that fear to be very strong, even if there may be minor harms that may not actually happen, we become very afraid because that fear is activated. When you become aware of these things, ask yourself, what ways can you use now to protect the parts of yourself that were hurt in childhood? Ask yourself what is different between your current self and your past self? When we believe in our own healing power, both physical and psychological, when we have immunity, we are no longer the child we were back then. We can face it. Compulsive hand washing may help alleviate some of it. Things that could harm you in the past cannot harm you now. However, repeated confirmation can make you feel more at ease, but the more times you confirm, the more it reinforces our negative mental and emotional states. The solution is to seek help from professionals and take medication regularly. In addition, relaxation exercises can be helpful. The specific method is as follows: for example, sit on a chair or sofa, place both hands on the armrests or by your sides, let your shoulders drop, let your arms naturally hang down, let your fingers bend naturally, keep all your muscles relaxed and in a state of relaxation, focus your attention on your breath. Breathe slowly and deeply, aiming for a steady and long breath. Finally, I wish you the best in overcoming your troubles soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Honey, I see that you're facing some confusion in your life. You mentioned having severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety, and your family is not perfect either. It seems like you also feel insecure around your friends. Furthermore, you feel that your life is terrible, lacking motivation, and not following the doctor's advice to take medication. Actually, for diagnosed individuals, regular medication is crucial. Like you mentioned, the compulsive behaviors are already greatly impacting your life, and you really want to give yourself a break. There is still motivation for change within you. You hope to improve yourself. But it seems like you can't help yourself right now. Who can you rely on then? The professional advice from doctors is something you can definitely trust. So, as the first step, you can take medication regularly under the doctor's guidance and seek treatment. If possible, you can also find a long-term counseling therapist for psychological counseling. It's clear that the issues you are facing haven't accumulated overnight, but rather over a long period of time. That's why you may need the support of external professionals to gradually move past this shadow. I hope this can help you. The world and I love you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, how are you? It is undeniable that the original family will influence a person's life to a large extent. As you mentioned, your behavior has been influenced by your parents, but the influence of the original family does not represent everything. When you mentioned letting go of yourself, it actually shows that you already have a clear awareness of wanting to change, which is a good thing. So how can you make changes? 1) Step out of the circle of the original family. Your personality is largely influenced by the original family, and even many aspects tend to be consistent with your parents' behavior. Since you are aware of the drawbacks of this situation, you should try to \"escape\" from it. You can try to leave your parents for a while or live separately for a period of time, interact with people with good personalities, and let them influence you to change the problems you currently have. Personality is something that influences each other. If you really want to change, you can try to make friends with good people and let their behavior subtly change you. 2) Let go of your attachments and don't take things too seriously. There must be attachments in your heart, although I can't say for sure what they are, but I can clearly feel that you have something you can't let go of. No matter what it is, you should try or learn to let go of it. When you look at yourself from the perspective of an observer, you will find that many things are actually insignificant. You are just limited by your current self. Therefore, don't take things too seriously, try to let go, and learn to let go, which will make you feel lighter. 3) Cherish the people around you. Your boyfriend must love you very much. But the problems you currently have will easily hurt him unintentionally. You must sincerely explain your situation to him, and any misunderstandings between the two of you must be cleared up in person. Furthermore, when interacting with the people around you, you can try to let go of your inner conflicts, be more open, and simplify things. Sometimes, when you can't control your emotions, you can try meditation to change your current situation, which will make things much better. 4) Learn to love yourself. You have to love yourself. No matter how imperfect, stubborn, or unsatisfied you are with yourself, you must first accept yourself and then try to change yourself. Nothing can be achieved overnight. You don't need to rush, it's fine to change slowly, as long as you keep changing and striving to become better, you will eventually succeed. I hope my advice is helpful to you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, I can tell that you are actually a very fortunate person: 1. Your father loved you when you were a child, although he was abusive to your mother, he loved you very much. 2. Your current boyfriend also loves you, despite the fact that you are abusive towards him, he has always been good to you. You are indeed someone that people envy. But I also understand your pain. 1. The influence of your father during your childhood has caused you to worry about becoming involved with drugs, which has led to compulsive behavior. 2. You can't control yourself and are abusive towards your boyfriend. Let's analyze the reasons together: 1. It is not difficult to see that from your perspective, the influence of your family environment during your childhood was significant. 2. I don't know what you have experienced later on, but obviously the influence from your childhood was deeply ingrained, and I don't know if subsequent educational and other environments have had an impact on you. How can we become better? 1. Accept from the depths of your heart that you have a father like this, it is not your fault, nobody can choose their birth environment. 2. Apparently, you have your own judgment and understanding of your father's state, and I believe you also have an inexplicable desire to escape from it, but you can't get rid of it. 3. In that case, don't try to get rid of it, instead, accept the underlying influences in this environment, while also trying to expose yourself to more diverse and enriching environments to dilute inappropriate thoughts. 4. Try to love the people around you, don't harm yourself and don't harm others.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, many psychological pressures can be released by simply speaking out, and it is clear that you have gained an objective understanding of the situation regarding your boyfriend's violent tendencies. Personally, I am not inclined to make a connection between your childhood experiences and your current psychological issues. It's like watching a detective movie and giving commentary afterward, which often feels like hindsight bias. I hope you don't develop a mindset that says, \"Because of what happened in my childhood, I am now dependent on others.\" As adults, we are responsible for our own choices. We can't choose our parents, but we can choose how to face them. The same experiences can lead to different outcomes for different people. For example, some children from broken families may lack security and be more vulnerable or suspicious, while others may mature early, become rational and strong, and even become a source of support for their parents. The difference lies in whether they understand the concept that \"the cost of staying silent is not cost-effective.\" Holding onto past losses and constantly agonizing over one's misfortunes is not helpful. On the other hand, one should focus on how to reap future benefits, quickly bounce back from setbacks, and work harder to move forward. As a mature person, you have a logical mind and believe that you have a clear understanding of your own feelings. I suggest you repay those who have hurt you and express gratitude to those who have shown kindness. If you can't get past your father's hurdle, you can consider taking up taekwondo or women's self-defense and find an opportunity to teach your father a lesson. However, using this as an excuse to confront your boyfriend is not fair. It seems like you're about to lead a good young man astray. Why bother? Furthermore, if you are diagnosed with depression or any other physical brain condition, I strongly recommend seeking medical help and taking medication. However, based on your situation, it doesn't seem likely. Have you ever had an MRI scan at the hospital to check for physical brain abnormalities? Such conditions cannot be effectively addressed through psychological methods alone, so please be cautious.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 126
       },
       {
        "question": "Unsatisfied with blind date partners, always hesitating, how to make choices when it comes to dating?",
        "description": "Older woman, many people around her have gotten married, she feels very anxious. She has been on many blind dates, rejecting those who contacted her while it's impossible to ignore those who didn't. She always manages to find faults in those who contact her, either they don't know how to communicate or their conditions are not good. This has made her a bit pessimistic. She wants to find someone who is optimistic and doesn't take things too seriously. She wants someone who can help her when she encounters difficulties, but she hasn't met anyone like that. She just wants both of them to be happy, but some people always complain about their own misfortunes when they meet, which she finds very annoying. Is finding a partner supposed to be exhausting? She used to always think the next one would be better, but there hasn't been anyone who fully meets her expectations, whether it's their conditions or compatibility in terms of personality. Now she sometimes has insomnia and hair loss, feeling a lot of pressure. Because she is dissatisfied with her blind date partners, she is always hesitant and then rejects them. What should she do? She is on the verge of depression.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, blind dates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I do not recommend the OP to delay it until later, especially if you have similar values, are concerned about each other, and have feelings for him. If that's the case, then get married. The longer you wait, the worse it will be for you. Age becomes a factor. The OP can lower their expectations and not be too demanding in material conditions. Marriage is for one's own happiness, for both parties to progress together and face future difficulties together. A boyfriend should be your support, but that doesn't mean he is a garbage bin for you to vent your frustrations. He has the right to share your burdens, and you have the obligation to understand and care for him when he is going through a tough time. Instead of feeling down and increasing your own stress, it would be better to take care of yourself, manage your time effectively, and stop waiting for your lover. Can you take the initiative to pursue what you want and become a better version of yourself? Only then will you have more choices.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7091
       },
       {
        "question": "21-year-old girl, who has experienced domestic violence since childhood, how to comfort the inner child?",
        "description": "I have experienced domestic violence since I was young, and my parents are emotionally unstable. I am always easily nervous and have a tense nervous system. I easily fall into negative emotions and always recall the negative memories that have happened since I was young. I even doubt if I have any happy memories. Because I feel like my parents, especially my mother, are always involved in everything I do, and she always makes me unhappy, making my memories unpleasant as well. These days, I suddenly feel the inner child in me, and she always wants to make me unhappy. But I want to get along well with her. I used to rely on my mother a lot, but I would always be disappointed. I have a strong need for reliance, and I always want to rely on friends, constantly seeking validation. I always feel lonely and immature internally, and I always feel like I'm burdening my friends because I always seem to spread negative energy to them. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Good evening, the author sends a hug to you. Childhood experiences are recorded in our hearts. The author feels the helplessness and sadness in your little self. The author wants to say that you, as a child, can believe in yourself and be happy. You have the ability to make yourself happy. \"We have the same world, the same mother.\" Our mother carried us for ten months and nurtured us with her blood transformed into milk. Despite this, mothers often become the people we least like and least want to be around. The author feels that the little child within you is thinking about how to grow up, become strong, independent, mature, and no longer feel lonely. You have a lot of positive energy. Rather than saying that the inner child needs to grow, it is better to say that the current you needs to become your own person. A friend in my circle of psychology often says, \"Seeing is the beginning of change.\" The author says that it is the mission of each person to nurture the inner child and engage in self-improvement in life. However, on the path of self-improvement, there are often accompanying confusion and repetitive turmoil, and it is difficult to break free from them. To find the source of the problem, we must trace our childhood growth process. Only by understanding who we are and where we come from can we better answer where we are going. It must be said that the inner parents and the inner child: 1. The inner parents are actually part of our social personality. 2. The inner child is the part of our own personality. The inner parents are rational, calm, wise, and follow the rules, while the inner child governs our feelings and emotions. If we truly want to achieve happiness, we must achieve a win-win situation for both. When the inner parents follow the rules, they must also meet the needs of the inner child. Only then can we truly experience love, happiness, joy, and success. Faced with the inner child, it seems that we have lost it for a long time. The world is changing, and we are growing up. Many emotions, curiosity, enthusiasm, and exploration that children should have are worn away by us. We walk through the world wearing armor, afraid that others will see our vulnerability and collapse. But can you deny it yourself? You can't. Since this is the case, let us start to nurture ourselves and find the inner child who is full of enthusiasm, dares to speak and get angry, and quickly experiences emotions. Maybe they have been waiting for you for a long time! It's time for you to embark on this journey. It is recommended to undergo hypnotic therapy to heal the inner child. This technique can help you understand where your confusion lies and explore how powerful your inner parents are. Let them rest and release the true inner child, awakening the adult in you. Don't rush the process of growth. I don't know if you are a psychology major or an enthusiast, but regardless of who you are, you can \"immerse\" yourself in growth here. Wishing you a happy journey of growth! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There is a saying that men are forever young, and so are women. You are only 21 years old, still at an age where nobody mentions Children's Day. What's wrong with treating yourself like a child? In physics, there is a saying, \"When in doubt, use quantum mechanics.\" In psychology, there is a joke, \"When lacking ability, blame it on the family of origin.\" In fact, most people had an unsatisfactory childhood. Our generation's children generally do not lack financially, but emotionally. Generation gap, lack of parental love, excessive interference, we have all experienced it. When we recall our childhood, instead of saying that we are not good enough, we should say that we didn't do it right, besides the factors of strong parental interference or lack of companionship. Our childhood memories, which were not good, can serve as guidance for our growth by reflecting on what choices we did not make correctly. Use history as a mirror to understand rise and fall, and use people as a mirror to understand gains and losses. The inner child is both a person and history. She illuminates the path for you to move forward, rather than simply entangling you. Turning 20 is also a turning point, a new starting point to achieve one's own life and improve and perfect one's own family of origin. Find something you love, enrich yourself, achieve some accomplishments, and accumulate some income; all of this will make your family better. Dependence is not a big problem either, as humans are social creatures. It is a habit to seek recognition and security within a collective. Share more with friends, there is no harm in communicating. It is also okay to express oneself appropriately, and share the happiness in life, new discoveries in work, new insights from reading a book, or opinions on a movie. Keep going! Make yourself fulfilled, and you will have more and more friends, and more happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "@Want to be your baby, through your narrative, I can feel the interference from your parents, as well as your internal disgust and helplessness. As the younger generation with new ideas of the modern era, it is difficult for parents to understand their thoughts. In fact, this is a result of the differences in cognition between different generations, causing confusion. This kind of confusion is something that everyone will face in their lives. No matter how old we grow, it is also difficult to completely free ourselves from the interference of our parents. One of the aspects of growing up is gradually separating from our parents and becoming an independent and complete self, free from their interference. At this stage, you may only be considering certain issues from your own perspective. If you were to consider it from your parents' perspective, they may have such thoughts based on more conservative thinking from their time. It is understandable to have such thoughts. What is important is what is most important to you as an independent individual. What do you want? If you can determine that this relationship is stable and can promote your growth, and both parties are operating this relationship on the basis of mutual understanding and tolerance, then I think you can handle this problem well. You can try to take the initiative to communicate with your parents, express your true thoughts from your heart and most importantly, talk about your feelings. Let them know how their lack of understanding and excessive interference have caused you great pain. Then, explain your reasons to them and hope to gain their support. Of course, if they still cannot accept it, you can firmly state your decision, but remember to maintain a gentle attitude and make it clear that you will take responsibility for your actions. When you bravely express your thoughts, your parents may gradually accept it and reduce their interference. I hope the above advice will be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21237
       },
       {
        "question": "Sophomore year, I encountered a very strange person. What kind of mindset is this?",
        "description": "I got to know a guy online these two days who is 11 years older than me. I'm a sophomore in college and he is working in Beijing. We started chatting quickly because we had many common topics. On the second day, he spoke to me in a very indulgent tone and looked through my photo album and old posts. We continued chatting for two more days like that. His tone showed some level of affection towards me, but after I responded to him, he didn't pay much attention to me. However, he still talks to me. I find him very strange, what kind of attitude is this?",
        "keywords": "Dating, affection",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I am glad to answer your questions. From your question, there are a few key pieces of information: meeting online, being 11 years older than you, starting off with being very indulgent but then becoming cold two days later. [Brief analysis and speculation] Firstly, since you only know each other online and have no offline interactions, you have no idea of what kind of person he really is, and you have no knowledge of his basic information. From browsing his photo album and using indulgent language when chatting with you, it can be inferred that he likely has strong motives and purposes. These motives and purposes are very likely malicious unless you have sufficient reasons to believe that a stranger you met online would care for you out of some kind of goodwill. These motives may include common online scams, deception for sexual purposes, and other malicious intentions. Secondly, the drastic change in his attitude towards you may be due to him feeling cautious and concerned about certain information you shared. I am not clear about the content of your conversation, but it is certain that his initial \"liking\" was a disguise for some purpose, and once he realized that achieving his purpose would be difficult, he no longer expressed \"liking.\" [Precautions] From your question, it can be seen that you have a limited awareness of the risks online. You need to be cautious and protect yourself when making friends online, especially not disclosing your true personal information to prevent exploitation by criminals.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You are a girl, right? What is his mentality? It is considered a normal mentality because you can only be considered as online friends! How did you meet? Through a game or some social platform? You can try to guess his situation based on this platform! You just met, but you happened to get along well. He wants to know more about you, so he checked your history. This is also human nature. Of course, he may also have some thoughts about you! You can feel all of this from your conversation, just like you mentioned being indulgent! After you responded, you could feel his change! This is also normal. Your response was obviously negative, so his fantasy was shattered, and naturally, he wouldn't care about you as much anymore! He will still talk to you, of course, because he has nothing better to do and chatting with a younger girl is still okay! Someone like him could be called a creepy older guy if we want to be harsh, and if we want to be nicer, he could just be a normal single man, looking to cast a wide net and focus on cultivating someone! This incident reflects that you still lack experience. Be careful not to be deceived! As you go through more experiences in the future, you will gradually become indifferent to these things! Good luck to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From your description, I can sense your curiosity and nervousness as you explore the process of interpersonal relationships. This is an experience that most young people go through. However, it is commendable that you are actively seeking help online to avoid falling into emotional relationship pitfalls. Let's go back to the process of your interaction. There are a few key points that you need to pay attention to: expressing your likes and receiving the likes of the opposite sex can be a happy thing, especially when you also have feelings for that person. When we meet new people, we generally have curiosity, and it is easy to imagine the other person as all good and ignore the bad aspects. Confirming your liking for someone still requires a process. Also, some people like to flirt online, so it is advisable to adopt a cautious attitude towards this. I don't know what your response was, but his subsequent actions can be understood. You haven't known each other for long, and your level of understanding is not deep. After the initial curiosity is satisfied, if the other person wants to develop a romantic relationship, it may require the right timing to naturally progress the relationship forward. It is also possible that he is considering his own environment and is not eager to develop a relationship. Or perhaps he is just a more passive person in relationships, etc. The above is for your reference. I recommend a book to you called \"The Five Love Languages.\" I wish you the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. If you are in your second year of college, you would be in your early twenties. If the other person is really 11 years older than you, then they would already be in their thirties. They might already be married and established, or they could still be single. If they are already married and established, and they are looking through your social media posts and updates to gather information about you, it could be out of curiosity or possibly have ulterior motives. As a girl, you must protect yourself. While you shouldn't harbor ill intentions towards others, you should also be cautious of others. If the other person is still single, then they are still available. They could be interested in you out of curiosity or a genuine liking. However, if they stop contacting you afterwards, it may be because they are considering their own age and would prefer to find a partner with marriage in mind. Since you are too young and not suitable for them, they choose to end this mutual interest. Lastly, here are some tips. Think about your criteria for a partner and what kind of person you like. This will help you avoid getting into a wrong relationship. Also, be patient, observe more, wait more, and interact more. Time will reveal one's true intentions. If things don't work out, it's alright. Life is long, you should always look forward and not look back. Lastly, I wish you academic success and that you find a desired husband soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "A sentence that can be considered a truth in relationships is that if someone likes you, they will make it clear and let you know. They would want to proclaim your relationship to the world and even think about marrying you. Instead of playing games and hiding their feelings. If someone intentionally plays games, it just proves that they are immature and insincere. I have a friend who has a happy marriage. She told me that on their first date, her husband told her that he couldn't live without her. It may have been partly a joke, but his sincerity touched my friend. So, all the chatting, flirting, and physical contact, even if there is some response from him, as long as he doesn't clearly show his attitude, invite you out, and tell you that he likes you and wants to establish a relationship with you, it's all just playing around. By playing around, it means that he may be bored and have a slight liking for you, but it's not to the extent of wanting to establish a serious relationship with you, and he doesn't intend to be responsible for you. Especially when you respond to him, he suddenly starts ignoring you. How can a guy who likes you not respond? He should be excited and eager to talk to you, maybe even willing to fly to your city. Most likely, he doesn't have any thoughts about you, and whether you respond to him or not doesn't matter to him. This is not surprising, as someone who doesn't value you will give you that feeling. His flirting with you is just based on his own needs, not yours. So, what's the point of trying to understand that guy's mentality? A guy who is 11 years older than you has more relationship experience, making it easier for him to manipulate a girl's emotions. Before confirming the relationship, it's best for the questioner not to give away her heart. Just treat him as a normal friend and interact with him accordingly. Friends sometimes chat with you, sometimes focus on their own things. When the other person clearly expresses their seriousness and commitment, then you can respond. If the other person doesn't even have that level of commitment, would the questioner dare to entrust herself to him?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, because you have common topics to chat about, you can quickly become familiar with each other. Through chatting and by viewing your space and updates, this person who is older and more experienced than you will generally have an understanding of your life situation, thought patterns, and values. It's not good to judge his intentions towards you, but the initially indulgent tone may make you happy and bring positive emotions. However, after you respond, he may not pay much attention to you anymore, and there are several possible reasons that you can consider: 1. At the beginning, he did have a good impression of you and expected a continuation, but after getting to know you, he realized that it's not suitable, so he stopped continuing the conversation. 2. Your quick response made him lose interest in the \"hunt\" and he no longer contacts you. 3. He is skilled and realized that you \"took the bait,\" so he no longer puts effort into it. Regardless of which possibility it may be, I still want to remind you to be cautious about online relationships, especially considering the significant age difference between you two. At your age, with little life experience, you are like a young lamb, while he, with many years of experience in the world, is more like a seasoned hunter. He understands what you need and knows how to approach you from the perspective that will make it easier for you to become invested. At your age, in your second year of college, it's better to go out and play with people your own age! I hope everything goes well for you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. Nowadays, with the advancement of the internet, we are getting to know more and more people online, but we actually have very few close relationships. We get along with each other because of common interests and shared hobbies, which is a good thing. A person you met online who is 11 years older than you and shares common interests, talks to you in a somewhat indulgent tone, and shows clear ambiguity. This person's psychological basis is based on a sense of playfulness and novelty. As a sophomore, you are still in a state of incomplete physical and psychological maturity, and you are also in the stage of adolescent development, which makes it easy for you to find the information from the external world refreshing. This person's attitude may change later on after you respond, perhaps because they are aware of the distance between them and your age, or for other reasons, there is no need to care too much. Everyone should have a sense of self-protection, not just in the present, but also in the online world.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7855
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I care so much about other people's attitudes towards me?",
        "description": "Because of past traumatic experiences, I have social anxiety and even some learned helplessness. In my daily life and work, I find myself very concerned about how others evaluate me and their attitudes towards me. I am highly sensitive and cannot tolerate negative attitudes such as attacks, hostility, denial, questioning, contempt, and disdain from others. Whenever I encounter such situations, I easily get provoked, become emotionally agitated, and want to fight back. I also feel deeply hurt, like I have a fragile heart. This is particularly evident in a workplace environment, where I am very sensitive, and my emotions and nerves are constantly strained. It feels like any minor friction could make me lose my temper with my colleagues. Everyone thinks I have a bad temper. Actually, I am very distressed. Who doesn't want to harmoniously coexist and enjoy work in their surroundings? At the same time, I am also very anxious about damaging my relationships with colleagues, creating negative impacts on myself, and hindering personal growth. Someone told me that this is because I have expectations for the external environment. I have realized that I constantly lack a sense of security and belonging and I am also very eager to gain recognition and respect from my surroundings. I don't know if it's because of these reasons. I would like to ask for advice from you teachers. Regarding my current mindset, why am I like this? What can I do to help myself in this situation and mindset? Thank you all!",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, trauma therapy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your question description, it appears that you have been living in a state of insecurity, which has caused your personality traits to become sensitive and vulnerable. Your daily life is like a rabbit constantly on alert, easily startled by any movement and always on the lookout for unnecessary stimulation. Although this lifestyle makes you uncomfortable, it has been a form of self-protection for many years, shielding you from further pain and distress. However, it seems that this protective mechanism is no longer serving you as you have gradually grown and now find yourself in awkward situations because of it. You desire change. It is certain that your patience for self-awareness and courage to constantly challenge and change yourself are commendable. I would like to provide some inspiration through the following aspects: [Do not perceive \"every little movement\" as a threat to oneself] If you want to make internal changes, the simplest first step is to reevaluate external judgments and perspectives because inner growth is a slow process, and cognitive changes cannot happen overnight. However, by reconsidering others, you can quickly learn ways to dissipate negative emotions, laying a solid foundation for reconstructing new beliefs. You may interpret others' opinions as attacks or criticisms towards yourself, but it is important to understand that many people carry psychological trauma and may either project it onto others or silently bear the burden. The \"opinions and judgments\" that make you uncomfortable, are they really directed at you? This is worth questioning because in reality, others are often reacting to particular viewpoints or circumstances, which most of the time have nothing to do with you, even if it involves your ideas. More accurately, others often express dissatisfaction or disagreement due to previous bad experiences or traumas that have been triggered in the current situation; they are actually directing their hatred towards their own inner resentments. [Try the \"three-minute\" cooling-off method and avoid communicating with others when in a negative emotional state] Of course, reevaluating others' opinions and judgments does not mean that you will not experience negative emotions. When faced with unpleasant remarks from others, it is advisable to employ the three-minute cooling-off method. Quickly remove yourself from the conflicting situation, take a few deep breaths to adjust and alleviate your inner emotions. Once the point of emotional outburst has passed, it becomes easier to calm down. At this point, you can engage in face-to-face conversations without encountering much awkwardness. [Stay committed to continual self-awareness and self-exploration] In your question, I can see that you have already developed a good level of self-awareness and made discoveries about your own situation. I hope you will continue to persist because self-awareness is the key to personal growth. Nevertheless, it is a slow process that requires everyone's perseverance and endurance. If possible, I would suggest seeking a suitable psychological counselor on the platform for long-term consultations. With the assistance of professionals, you can achieve faster and better self-awareness and exploration.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, if there are 84,000 people in the world, then there are 84,000 versions of you in their eyes, but which one is the real you? First, an event is just an event and its occurrence is neutral, unrelated to emotions. Separate emotions from events. We often start telling stories in our brains because of one thing. Let me give you an example. \"Today, you rushed out without putting on makeup. You went to a restaurant to eat, and sitting at the next table were a man and a woman. They looked in your direction from time to time, whispered something, and occasionally laughed.\" What would your mind think? \"What are they laughing at? Is there something on my face that I didn't clean?\" \"These two just want to show off their love. I'd better change tables so I don't have to see them.\"... Many thoughts like this arise. And why does this happen? It's because there are emotions and thoughts behind our actions. If we can separate events from emotions, the situation will be completely different. When something happens, we say to ourselves, \"Yes, I see this thing, it did happen, and I allow its existence. I also allow myself to vent. And I can control my emotions. I can choose a more beneficial emotion to deal with this matter.\" First, acknowledge that you have seen the event and respect your emotions. It's okay to feel bad, it's okay to have emotions, respect them all, and then tell yourself, \"Yes, I can face it with a better emotion.\" Second, we project our emotions onto others, and then others treat us based on the emotions we project. This becomes reality, it becomes your experience. To put it more simply, your reality is created by yourself. Something happens, you think others look down on you, but in fact, others didn't think that at the beginning, but if you think that for a long time, it will cause others to truly look down on you. After doing something, you can say to yourself, \"I am just expressing my true self. How others perceive me is just their version of me, and their version is not the real me. Let it be, let them think whatever they want.\" You can also give blessings in advance to an event. You can say to yourself, \"Thank you, let this matter go smoothly, my relationship with XX is getting better, and I feel that others appreciate me, even if they don't say it on the surface, I can feel their appreciation for me.\" Doing this will give a positive label to the event and the relationship. Third, relax and accept your emotions, love yourself. Loving yourself is not just about giving good things to yourself, but more importantly, accepting your emotions and everything about yourself, refraining from criticizing yourself. When you have emotions, accept them, feel them, and calmly say to the emotion, \"Hi, you've come, I feel you, I fully accept you, I accept your current existence,\" instead of saying to yourself, \"How can I be like this, I should...\" Emotions and events appear in a cycle, appearing repeatedly, because we resist them. The more we resist, the more they persist. Until you see it, feel it, stop resisting it, only then can you truly experience it. I suggest doing more meditation and redirecting your attention back to yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, we are all influenced by external factors, but it seems that you are more affected. Your past traumatic experiences have made you feel like you have social anxiety disorder. [Social anxiety disorder refers to the persistent and intense fear and avoidance behaviors in one or more interpersonal situations. The object of fear can be a specific person or group of people, or it can be quite generalized to include everyone except for a few close friends and family members.] I'm not sure which one of the above situations you belong to! But I used to be afraid to talk to strangers, especially in crowded situations. I was even more afraid of people I barely knew. Many times, I felt like a hedgehog, hoping to protect myself, but at the same time, I wanted to be accepted by people around me. Little did I know, I had scared away the people who wanted to care about me with my spikes. Whether it's social anxiety or social disorder, I think it's a serious problem because we can't live in isolation from society. I suggest you seek professional help from a mental health counseling agency for professional treatment. I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Friend, I am somewhat like you. We are both sensitive individuals. In fact, we should pay more attention to ourselves in our work. Perhaps you can focus your attention on your own work. Whenever there is an emotional change, you can jot it down and see the cause. Does it correspond with objective facts? This way, gradually, your perception of the people around you will be different!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 144
       },
       {
        "question": "I enjoy the feeling of being abnormal.",
        "description": "I am aware of my confused behavior and I know that having a \"perverted\" mentality is not a positive mindset. However, I enjoy this perverted psychology. When I see the word \"perverted,\" I know what kind of person I want to become. Yes, I like it, it's awesome. The reason is that I believe being perverted can become darkness, so I am no longer afraid of darkness. Haha, it's my foolish idea, but it has indeed given me the courage to face things that I've never dared to face before... to become the kind of perverted that scares others!",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, have a warm hug~ OP is afraid of darkness, so they hope to become darkness themselves, so as not to fear darkness anymore. OP has twisted thoughts because they are also afraid of being twisted. In psychology, being twisted refers to abnormal manifestations of psychological factors such as perception, thinking, emotions, intelligence, thoughts, and personality. There are many types of twisted or near-twisted psychology, such as hallucinations, hypnotic states, sleepwalking, sexual perversions, and various mental and neurological diseases. From this perspective, OP really doesn't need to worry about becoming twisted. Unless they have experienced severe trauma or long-term suppression, it is generally impossible for a person to suddenly become twisted. Moreover, the best way to combat fear is to face it directly. Twisted behavior is not as terrifying as we imagine, and it can be cured through professional psychological treatment. In daily life, we can also pay more attention to our mental state and emotions, so that our psychology can be in a relatively stable and healthy state. Take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16751
       },
       {
        "question": "I am someone who seeks treatment when I am sick, but why do I become resistant after depression?",
        "description": "I am someone who seeks treatment when I am sick, but now even though I know it, I really dislike hospitals and doctors. I know it's not the doctors' or hospitals' fault, but I may dislike going out and not wanting to go to work. Still, I can't bring myself to give up social interactions and be alone. Nowadays, I often seek medical advice online. The doctor said they hope to see me at the outpatient clinic next week.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's clear that you are someone who takes responsibility for your own well-being and believes in seeking treatment when you're ill. When it comes to going to the hospital, it's understandable that everyone might feel uncomfortable there because the hospital environment constantly reminds you that you're a patient. This reminder can be a blow to our self-esteem. It's normal for everyone to experience feelings of depression or low mood, and what we need in those times is support and help. Many of my visitors don't like the atmosphere and environment of hospitals, so if you feel that way too, you can try finding a treatment room that is not in a hospital. Keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17738
       },
       {
        "question": "30-year-old woman, why can't every relationship be long-lasting?",
        "description": "I am a woman who is 30 years old. Every time I have a relationship, it doesn't last long. I lack a sense of security, so I often message others, worrying about this and that. I don't have confidence and fear that others won't want me. As a result, there are no positive outcomes.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! @ Whether it's love or other interpersonal relationships, the success or failure of maintaining the relationship depends on both individuals. However, we cannot change other people, but we can change ourselves. It is a good thing that you are looking inward for the reasons, reflecting and approaching the situation objectively. However, because your description is short, I don't know your understanding of this distress, and what understanding you have about the situation. @ I don't know if you are like me, but I always feel that as I grow older, especially in relationships, no matter how different the people I meet are, it always ends up developing into the same patterns as with someone from the past, or always falling into the same pit. There is a concept in psychology called \"self-fulfilling prophecy.\" It means that everyone tends to summarize some beliefs based on past life experiences and then unconsciously develop according to these beliefs, which eventually become treated as prophecies. It's like the behavior of labeling people; regardless of whether the description is positive or negative, the labeled person tends to develop towards fitting the label, or it's like a psychological suggestion, thinking that it will mess up, therefore being nervous, anxious, and causing the prophecy to come true. \u25cb Moreover, people often unconsciously strive to fulfill it to experience control over certain aspects of life. << Whether it's external comments or past experiences, they are not as important as beliefs. Since you asked this question, I believe you still have hope for love, of course, for a long-lasting love. Perhaps you need to experience the definition of love, the art of love through life or books, and then look back to assess previous losses. << You can compare past romantic experiences to see which patterns you have repeated that have led to relationship breakdown. After all, many people's romantic tragedies come from the influence of their own relationship patterns. Good luck! Learn how to love in order to attain lasting relationships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You really want to have a long-lasting and stable relationship, but you always fail to achieve it. There are a lot of worries and anxieties, afraid of being abandoned. Although you are not aware of it consciously, the subconscious message you convey to the other person is \"you will eventually abandon me\", so the other person conspires with you to break up in the end. Then you will once again say to yourself that I really can't establish a long-term relationship with others. This cycle repeats, making it harder to break this established pattern. You need to carefully look back at your feelings in each relationship, what is this feeling? What are your worries? Afraid of being abandoned? Worried about the other person's safety? Feel that the other person is better than yourself? Or any other specific feelings? Have you had similar feelings before? Where do these feelings come from? Many of a person's initial feelings are related to their mother. You can also take a look at your interaction pattern with your mother, especially whether there are many unclear boundaries and influences on your current life. Are the feelings of worry in your romantic relationships related to the feelings your mother has given you? In addition, take a look back at the relationship patterns of important family members, such as parents or people who were close to you during your upbringing. These can all affect your sense of self and interpersonal interaction patterns. One more thing, you mentioned that you often send messages to the other person, it sounds like one is chasing and the other is escaping. What you desire is a deeply integrated relationship, without distinctions between you and the other person, with many expectations and dependencies on your partner. But actually, for two people to build a relationship, they first need to be independent individuals, which means having their own subjectivity and boundaries. Start by differentiating your feelings and gather the ones that belong to you. Best regards, Rongxin Psychology, Liu Mi.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2202
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old girl, recently, has been feeling low and numb for the past two months, and has lost her appetite a bit.",
        "description": "Previously, I used to fall asleep within the specified time, but since the beginning of July, I have been experiencing insomnia and only slept for four hours consecutively for two weeks. At that time, I was feeling really down. Towards the end of July, I started to lose my appetite and became irritable. I would get angry for no reason. Recently, I feel like I have no appetite to eat anything and I don't feel like talking either. But I feel really lonely and there's no one I can talk to.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, disease diagnosis, treatment methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, thanks for inviting me. From your description, I can see that you have a keen awareness of your body and emotions. You are able to clearly see the changes happening within yourself and know to seek psychological help, which is something that most 16-year-old girls may not be able to do. Based on your description, the major changes started in early July. I wonder if anything important happened during that time? Even if nothing specific happened, even the small change of going from school to being at home during summer vacation can have a significant impact on our routines and state of mind. When you mentioned feeling lonely, it conveyed a message: despite experiencing various difficulties, you cannot share these problems with the people close to you (such as your parents). You have to face everything alone, feeling helpless, like being stranded on a deserted island. My suggestion to you is to first seek help from a hospital. Professionals should handle professional matters. Your physical symptoms and emotional expressions first need a professional evaluation. Based on the assessment and diagnosis, the doctor will advise whether medication is necessary. Secondly, you can seek help from psychological counseling and confide in a counselor about things you can't discuss with your loved ones and friends. You can seek assistance from a teacher at your school's psychological center. They have met many visitors of your age group and can provide the support you need. If the school's psychological center is not available during the vacation, you can also search for a counselor or listener on a platform that you feel comfortable with, to accompany you through this difficult time. In addition, I'm sure you have tried many other ways to feel better. Record the actions that have helped you, repeat them, and document them. Try to help yourself. Wishing you the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for your trust. 1. At the age of 16, during the rapid period of physical and psychological development, there are things that you can't understand on your own and you don't know who is the right person to talk to, which can easily make you feel lonely. In normal circumstances, academic pressures can also be heavy, and if you can't receive appropriate understanding from your parents, you may feel like you are fighting alone. Therefore, you need friends of the same age. 2. Being a girl and based on your description, it seems that you have a more delicate personality, which makes it easier for you to be sensitive in interpersonal relationships and can also make it a bit difficult for you to make friends with peers. 3. Your insomnia has lasted for nearly a month and you haven't been able to improve it through your own efforts. It is recommended that you find a trusted counselor for face-to-face counseling and also try to spend more time with peers.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, or if you have been in the same environment for a long time and lack freshness, you may inevitably feel that life is dull and tasteless. Poor sleep and mental health can easily lead to loss of appetite and worsening mood. Maybe you can try to relax your mood, go out for a walk, participate in some activities, or go to the gym, swim, etc., to release negative emotions, and exercising more may also have a fatigue-assisting sleep effect. Perhaps you can also do more things that interest you in your daily life, find your own hobbies, which can help make your life more fulfilling and possibly make you feel more comfortable. If you feel lonely, maybe you can start by communicating with your parents and talking about your frustrations and distress. In addition to parents, there are other family members. After gradually getting used to communicating with others, maybe you can take the initiative to chat with classmates and invite them to hang out, which can also promote your friendship. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12350
       },
       {
        "question": "I want to study and read more books, but I can't finish reading them. What should I do if I can't calm down?",
        "description": "Although I am a beginner, I still have an eager heart for learning sometimes. I hope to study well. Whenever I want to learn, my mind becomes chaotic and I can't focus. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let me tell you two stories. The first story is one that I heard from Teacher Huang Zhangjin. He said that during the Sino-Vietnamese border war in the 1980s, many soldiers who had stayed in the frontline bunkers for a long time could recite the instructions for using medicated oil by heart. The instructions on the bottle were printed in incredibly small letters, with nearly 2000 words packed onto it. Some soldiers also memorized the instructions for skin ointment, which only had about 400 words, and they could recite it backwards. It was truly impressive.\n\nThe second story happened in 2008 when I took a train from Changchun to Wuhan. I was on a green train, which took 39 hours to reach the destination. It was my first time on such a long train journey, and I was alone and introverted. There were no beautiful women around to strike up a conversation with, and even if there were, I wouldn't have dared. Back then, mobile phones didn't have as many functions, and internet access wasn't as easy as it is now. Therefore, those 39 hours were truly arduous. At first, I could still enjoy the scenery and sleep a bit, but as time went on, I became increasingly bored. I had brought only one book with me, \"Research Methods in Psychology.\" Just by looking at the title, you know it's a dry book. When I couldn't bear it any longer, I finally took out the book and started reading, surprisingly finding it less boring and even engaging. By the time I got off the train, I had finished several chapters. In the past, the basic contradiction in our mental life was between the growing demand for mental stimulation and the scarcity of activities to satisfy it. Now things are different \u2013 a smartphone can solve this contradiction, offering countless ways to pass the time. So, I had a revelation \u2013 if I want to read more books and learn more, I need to create an environment that is boring enough to make me crave reading and studying as a way to kill time. Though it may sound extreme, the results are remarkable. So, how can you achieve this? It's actually very simple. Phase 1: Bring the book you want to read, but leave your computer and phone behind. Go to the library or any other suitable place for studying. Limit your water intake to avoid going to the restroom, and set a small goal for yourself: \"I, XXX, will sit here for three hours.\" During these three hours, you don't have to study at all \u2013 that's not a problem. But remember, you absolutely cannot do anything else, just sit there and endure it. Soon enough, your instinctual resistance to boredom will make you start studying. Phase 2: For this phase, you don't need to go to the library or leave your computer and phone behind. Anytime you want to start studying or working, apply the principle of \"for the next period of time, I will only do this one thing, even if I don't do it, I will sit here without doing anything else\" \u2013 don't strive for perfection, just remember, don't do anything else. Based on experience, after a while of feeling bored, daydreaming, and being distracted, you will return to focusing on your current study material. We often think that we need to calm our minds before we can read, but that's not the case. This method will force you to start reading with an extremely restless mind, and eventually, your mind will calm down. Interested friends can give it a try.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17951
       },
       {
        "question": "Are people inherently evil from the beginning?",
        "description": "I have an irresponsible mother who has never been married. She found a house that she liked and borrowed money from relatives. It should be a considerable amount. She acts pitiful and destitute when she's outside. And those relatives who lent her money are probably not happy about it. Their attitudes towards me have also changed for the worse. Just the other day, my uncle inexplicably yelled at me. They have all helped my mother, so they feel entitled to yell at me. I'm actually very helpless. I don't even live in the house my mother bought. I'm sure my mother has complained to those relatives about her hardships and used me as a scapegoat. I know that my mother always plays these tricks, seemingly good to everyone's face, acting like a saint, but actually using me as a shield behind my back. Those relatives, on the surface, want to help my mother, but deep down, they're all afraid that my mother won't be able to repay them. They see that my mother is weak and can't vent their anger on her, so they vent it on me. I want to say, \"Get out of here, all of you.\"",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a big hug. From the description, I understand that you strongly disagree with your mother's behavior and feel that what she is doing is wrong. At the same time, relatives sometimes get angry at you because they borrowed money, and you don't know what to do. \u3010A bit of analysis and advice\u30111. When it comes to resolving problems between parents and children, communication is usually the first step. After all, mothers still have some concern for their children. Although you are ashamed of your mother's behavior, it may be helpful to understand her thoughts through communication. Find some time to sit down calmly with your mom and express your dissatisfaction with her behavior. Even if the problem cannot be solved, it can make you feel better. 2. In the long run, you may consider seriously studying and improving your life, and then try to choose to live in a city far away from your relatives, which will help you get rid of these troubles. I hope this advice will be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18208
       },
       {
        "question": "Met online and have been chatting happily. Is online dating reliable?",
        "description": "We met online and had a great time chatting. We exchanged photos and were happy about it. We have been chatting online for over two months. He updates me about his work schedule and tells me what he ate for lunch. Gradually, our relationship became closer, and we developed feelings for each other. He expressed his liking towards me and we started video chatting. He would share his cooking live streams, and I feel that his life is simple yet meaningful. Later on, he started video calling me every time he goes to work and finishes work, and even during his lunch break, he would spend 2-3 minutes video chatting with me. He mentioned that we should meet in person, and he sees me as his potential marriage partner. He wants to have a good future with me, and he tells me every day how much he loves me and misses me. Sometimes, we would talk about previous relationships and matters related to romantic relationships. However, when it comes to discussing romantic relationships, I feel scared and anxious. He mentioned that after we meet and establish our relationship, we can go on trips together. But I feel afraid and worried that he might be dishonest about his feelings or that he could be an online scammer. I don't know what to do, but I have grown accustomed to this person over the past few months.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social media applications.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: The internet has indeed brought us a lot of conveniences and changes in our lives, including dating. However, the internet is virtual, and we cannot fully trust each other without actually meeting. So, I think your concerns are very necessary in this regard. Let's talk about your relationship: you have known each other online for more than two months and have had enjoyable conversations. He keeps you updated on his work, what he eats, etc. There is mutual attraction and you have both expressed liking each other. He always wants to video chat with you, even during his few minutes of lunch break. But whenever you talk about gender relations and being together in the future, you feel fear and afraid of being deceived. So, OP, have you ever been deceived or hurt by someone in relationships or other aspects before? Because chatting normally with each other but feeling fear when it comes to gender relations and defining the relationship might be triggered by recalling some unpleasant experiences and creating an instinctive reaction. If it is indeed because of past experiences, OP should face this issue head-on. Take some proper psychological tests and analysis to overcome the fear in your mind so that you can better face life. Of course, if you are simply afraid of the internet's unreliability, afraid that the other person is not sincere or has ulterior motives, there is no need to be overly scared either. Because we are currently in a society governed by the rule of law, as long as you learn to protect yourself and have your own judgement, there shouldn't be any major problems. For example, when you first meet the other person, you can bring your friends or best friends along and choose relatively safe public places. Avoid being alone or engaging in intimate activities when meeting for the first time because there is a difference between the internet and reality. You need to further understand the other person in real life to avoid being deceived. If the other person truly likes you, they will surely understand. As for going on trips after defining the relationship, I think the condition is that you have lived together in real life for a period of time before making that decision. Otherwise, if you go out together without truly knowing each other, you won't have anyone around to ask for help in case of an unexpected situation. I hope these suggestions can be helpful to OP, and I also hope that OP can find happiness. You are a good girl who deserves a beautiful love.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader. I can understand how you're feeling right now, and I genuinely hope that my words can help you. Here's a brief summary of your situation: You met an online friend and have been chatting with him for two months. You've exchanged photos and had video chats together, and you both have developed feelings for each other. Your conversations have become increasingly personal, including discussions about past relationships, gender dynamics, and the future. However, because you met online, you feel unsure and are afraid that he might be a scammer. When it comes to online relationships, many people's first reaction may be to assume the other person is a scammer, which shows that our awareness of safety has increased. But is online dating reliable? That's a difficult question to answer. This is true for any kind of relationship, even those formed in real life. Nowadays, our lives are fast-paced, and our social circles are either large or consist of the same people. Online dating can be a great way to meet someone new and interesting who shares your interests. However, we should also be cautious. Whether we meet someone in person or online, we should always approach new relationships with caution. People are always the most reliable and the most unreliable factor. So, what can we do when it comes to online dating? Take it slow. Slow down a bit and don't place too much trust in your excitement and the rush of falling in love. We all want to be loved, and if someone often shows you care and tells you sweet nothings, it's natural to be easily smitten. But at this point, pay attention and understand his motives and character. I agree with the saying, \"The person who loves you will make sacrifices for you.\" The simplest way to determine this is through his actions. Are his words reflected in his actions? Take the time to understand his character before committing to a whirlwind romance. Take it slow and protect your wallet first. If money matters frequently arise during your conversations, be cautious. Don't impulsively risk your resources on an uncertain future. Take it slow and evaluate his character. Assessing a person's character and values will determine if you can have a harmonious relationship in the future. When evaluating his character, also consider his identity. Not everything you see online is necessarily true. If possible, meet in person to confirm his identity and, if you can, get to know his friends as well. It is often said that having a meal together reveals compatibility, which is true. After meeting and interacting in person, if you feel compatible, then decide whether to continue the relationship. Of course, safety is paramount during the meeting. Choose a daytime meeting in a crowded public place to ensure your safety. Once you're certain that he is reliable, you can feel at ease. Wish you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing words is like seeing a person face-to-face. The question of whether online dating is reliable or not is actually more about whether the person themselves is reliable or not. The OP has been chatting with the online friend for more than two months, having a great time. From the beginning, they have exchanged photos, report to each other every day, and even had video chats, expressing affection. But in this process, how much do you really know about him in real life? The OP feels conflicted. On one hand, they have become accustomed to this person, but on the other hand, they are afraid that maybe he is an online scammer. Online relationships are mostly from the virtual world, and what you see is mostly what they want you to see. What is he like beyond the camera? So, it's important to be cautious. I suggest the OP: 1. Observe and understand more, try not to meet in person too easily. Even if you do meet, don't easily go on trips alone with him. 2. If you choose to meet, protect your personal safety and assets. Don't lend money to him easily, and don't meet in secluded places alone. It's better to have a friend accompany you and meet in crowded public places.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Whether someone is reliable or not is not absolute. But if two people are aiming for marriage, they can be tested through many practical things: 1) If you want to meet, you can go with good friends and meet in public places. In any case, the first meeting should not be too intimate because there are too many unknowns. 2) Besides talking about love, it is also important to talk about work, various friends around you, each other's families. You need to see this person through more people and things, whether your views on life and values are consistent, and so on. 3) If you are purely talking about feelings and not discussing marriage, it is better not to have any financial transactions until you have enough trust. 4) Without enough trust, do not accept individual appointments with the other person, and definitely do not go on trips together. 5) You can look at each other's identification documents, ID cards, work permits, and find out the truth from multiple sources. 6) Going through things together and discussing matters will make it easier to see a person clearly. In short, prioritize mental communication and put physical contact afterwards. Only with sufficient mental communication, will it be easier for you to judge. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! I understand your concerns and I hope my answer can provide you with some help. People we meet online indeed have an element of imagination. We tend to attach positive imaginations to people we meet online, but whether they are true or not remains to be seen. Based on your description, the person you are talking to is indeed a very warm-hearted person, which is why you have developed feelings for him. If you feel attracted to him and you can't determine for sure that online relationships always lead to deception, why not try meeting in person? If we are eventually going to live together, we must transition from virtual communication to real-life interaction. OP, you can try spending more time with him offline. Gradually, those elements of imagination will diminish, and you will see a more genuine version of him. At that time, it won't be too late to make a decision. In fact, I know some couples around me who met online. Some became friends on QQ, others met on dating platforms, and now they have children and live happily. The internet was just the platform where they met, but it was deep offline interaction that allowed them to get to know each other better and ultimately come together. Therefore, OP, you should determine your relationship based on the time you spend with him in real life in the future. Life ultimately returns to reality and must withstand the test of reality. I wish you all the best (*\uffe3\ufe36\uffe3).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after chatting online for over two months, you have a great time and the conversation feels like being in a romantic relationship. However, you are also worried that this might not be reliable and whether you can trust a relationship formed through the internet. First and foremost, online acquaintances are just one way of meeting friends, similar to being introduced by offline friends or colleagues or meeting at social gatherings. This method indeed carries some risks, but so does meeting people offline. Therefore, it is not appropriate to judge the reliability solely based on the way you met. Secondly, the term \"reliable\" has different definitions in different people's minds. Some consider wealth as reliability, some consider frequent companionship, and others consider sincerity, and so on. What is your definition of reliability? Lastly, once you know the definition of reliability, how do you judge it? For example, if wealth is considered reliable, how much money is considered reliable? If frequent companionship is considered reliable, is it twice or three times a week? How can we truly determine a person's sincerity? Is speaking the truth at all times enough to be considered sincere? Once you understand your own definition of reliability, it is necessary to establish evaluation criteria to make it more clear. Best wishes, Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~Is online dating reliable? Generally speaking, it is not reliable, although some people do find true love through online dating, but the probability is low. It is normal to worry whether he is a scammer or someone who plays with emotions. This is the pressure and responsibility that must be faced in online dating. From a psychological perspective, online dating is related to the \"projection effect\". The projection effect refers to the tendency to attribute one's own characteristics to others. When forming cognitive impressions of others, one assumes that others have similar characteristics to oneself and projects one's own emotions, will, and traits onto others, creating a cognitive barrier of attributing oneself to others. For example, a kind-hearted person may assume that others are also kind-hearted. The saying goes \"know someone's face but not their heart\". To truly understand a person, you need time and direct interaction. Online, most things you see can be disguised and deceptive. This doesn't mean that everything he does is fake, but it means that if he wants to deceive you, he has countless ways to do so. I suggest starting with people you know in real life to find a partner. Online dating carries risks, so be cautious when meeting in person. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, although it can be seen from the description that the original poster is attracted to someone, rationality has overcome emotions. You are conflicted about your rationality and don't know whether this rationality is right or wrong! I hope my response can help you. 1. First, rationally evaluate the other person. From the description, it is not difficult to see that you and the other person have mutual attraction, which is why you are gradually being drawn to them. Based on the way they chat, they're not bad, really good. They are willing to spend time sharing daily life with you, and make it meaningful. Being with someone like this, undoubtedly, every girl would be attracted. But dear, the person you know is only through the internet, you cannot touch them, and you don't know if this is their normal life in the unseen places. Therefore, the evaluation based on chat content can only be a reference and cannot be a reason for further development and being together. 2. Return to reality. I have also had online relationships, to be honest, the unreal feeling of online relationships brought me more anxiety than the sweet words of the other person. Therefore, no matter how good the person in the online relationship is, as a girl, we must first learn to protect ourselves and learn to recognize reality. If the other person really cares about you, you might consider letting them take the initiative, come to the city you are familiar with and meet you. Through offline meetings, you can get to know each other better and then determine whether to be together and whether the other person is safe enough to travel with. 3. Relationships between genders. In fact, sexual education is also a required course in life that everyone needs to encounter sooner or later. You may want to think about why mentioning relationships between genders makes you feel scared. Is it because the uncertainty of the relationship makes you feel insecure? Only by finding out the reason why you are scared and resolving this fear can you gain freedom and talk openly about sex. 4. Time reveals true character. Actually, whether online or offline, two months is not enough to fully understand a person. So, if you are afraid that the other person is a fraud, you might give each other some time and let the relationship develop further. Someone who truly loves you will be willing to spend time with you to understand whether they are good or bad. 5. Learn to live your own life well. Developing habits is not something that can be done overnight, and quitting habits is not something that can be done overnight either, but it is not impossible. Compared to the few months you have been used to the other person's presence, haven't you also been used to being alone before you met them? So, the other person is not that important. If they are not good enough, you can learn to let go of them. As long as you want to, it is not difficult. Give yourself some courage so that you can resist the various tests of love and learn to grow in love. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the key to this question is not about online relationships, but about the people you meet online, whether they are reliable or not is the crucial point. With the development of the internet and the obstacles to emotional needs in real life, online relationships have become a emerging trend. Most people tend to have negative views of online relationships, and there are many reasons for this, such as what you mentioned, the fear of the other person being an online scammer, deceiving emotions, or other forms of fraud. Online relationships are formed by meeting through the internet, with vast oceans of the web separating us, only emotional communication can take place on screens, without the physical contact, which can easily create a sense of illusion and make people feel unreliable. So it's normal for you to have such concerns. From your description, it seems that you have both expressed interest in each other and have entered a deeper stage of communication. It can be seen that the other person has stronger feelings for you and is more passionate, while you seem to be more cautious and reserved. So what should you do now? You also realize that because of daily contact, you are becoming more and more accustomed to their presence. Therefore, you should carefully consider what feelings you have towards them, whether it's liking, dependence, or just a simple habit. If you have a liking for them, it might be worth trying to get to know them better, gradually understanding whether they are suitable for you, and then considering whether to take the relationship offline. If it's just a habit or dependence, it is important to let go in time, as it is also a form of respect for the other person. In reality, many people who started online relationships have successfully materialized their relationship, so if you meet someone you both like, it's better to be a bit courageous and make efforts for love, without worrying too much. But the key is to protect yourself, no matter how far the relationship goes, always have a sense of self-protection. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dating is a wonderful thing, it is the establishment of a relationship between two people. In this era of developed internet, it's hard to distinguish what is real and what is fake. Online dating relies on words to express affection, but in real life, love and care for you are not expressed through words, but through actions. It is through spending 365 days a year together and getting along with each other that you can truly know if the other person is suitable for you. If it's just online chatting, don't invest too much emotion into it, what if the other person is an online scammer? In that case, you will be the one who loses out. You can tell that he's not a great person in real life either, after all, you haven't even met each other yet and he's already talking about sex. This clearly implies that when you meet in person, he just wants to get you and he can only low-cost flirt with girls online, casting a wide net, and whoever he can flirt with, he will. The more girls he hooks, the more desires he will have, it's as simple as that. Don't think about marrying this person before meeting in person online, you don't even know if the person on the other side is real. You must understand each other and see the truth before further engagement. The most important step in online dating is to meet as quickly as possible. Moreover, the meeting must be in a familiar and safe environment. Avoid going to places specified by the guy, and you can bring a friend along. After meeting, get to know each other more and then decide whether or not to start this relationship. There are differences between online and real life, and risks exist as well. Safety always comes first, protect yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7343
       },
       {
        "question": "In the past six months, I have been relying on medication to help me sleep every day. I worry every day that my insomnia will affect my work.",
        "description": "I used to sleep well, but in the past six months, due to my husband getting sick and being hospitalized, the pressure of the mortgage, and my child also getting sick and being hospitalized, I have completely developed insomnia. I work diligently but always worry about how my superiors perceive me. After developing insomnia, I worried about how it would affect my work, so I quickly started taking sleeping pills. Now I worry every day about not being able to sleep, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP, sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 (1) In the OP's description, it can be seen that the OP is under a lot of pressure recently. With their husband falling ill, the pillar of the family has collapsed all of a sudden. This is undoubtedly devastating for a family. As the half of the sky in the family, the OP not only has to take care of their husband and child, manage household chores, but also continue working. It is understandable that the OP feels exhausted and stressed. (2) The OP mentioned relying on medication for sleep recently, which might be harmful to the body. I suggest that the OP try a different method to improve sleep. I have been using the app \"Meditation Planet\" recently, which provides various meditation audios, including ones for sleep and stress relief. The OP can give it a try. Remember, everything will pass, and things will get better. Keep up the good work! #The world and I love you, wishing you all the best~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15443
       },
       {
        "question": "How to control as much as possible, or what to do if you keep getting angry with your child?",
        "description": "I have strict expectations for my child's academic performance. My child is five and a half years old. I am someone who doesn't speak well, influenced by my upbringing. But I try my best to control myself, yet I still can't control it. Whenever my child does poorly and throws tantrums, I always scold loudly. During the pandemic, I have been taking care of my two children for over half a year, and I feel like I'm breaking down. Recently, when my child doesn't practice the piano well, I often push or slap him a few times. I deeply regret it, but I can't control myself the next time. I feel very frustrated. I feel like a failure and a bad mother. Now, everything my child does seems magnified in my eyes. Actually, sometimes it's not a big deal, but I make it into a big deal myself. I don't know what's wrong with me.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, the process of growing up, communication between parents and children",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "During the pandemic, conflicts and tension often arise in many families, which is indeed a huge challenge for many parents. From your description, it seems that you have a self-aware perspective, which is a great resource. Your self-awareness of your own growth will bring about a change in understanding the conflicts that occur at present. Indeed, many parents bring in the patterns from their own families of origin into their interactions with their children. I can sense that perhaps your parents were not very patient during your upbringing, so you unconsciously bring this aspect into your communication with your own child. If you have the time and financial resources, I suggest you consider seeing a psychoanalyst for some personal exploration.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. Your question is about how to encourage your child to study well, but you always lose control and get angry at your child, causing you to feel regret afterwards, but unable to change yourself. [My analysis] 1) You have acknowledged that this personality trait may come from the influence of your family of origin, so you shouldn't blame yourself too much. You are also affected by a difficult childhood, which is why you behave this way. The key question is how to control yourself and not let your emotions affect your child. 2) Your intention is definitely good, hoping that your child can succeed and become an outstanding person in the future. So you have high expectations for your child, but when they don't perform well, you become anxious. Let's consider the situation from the perspective of the child. Even if you lose your temper, they will definitely be afraid of you and create a barrier between you, which will further decrease their enthusiasm for learning. They may feel that learning the piano is only to please you and to avoid your anger. This is an incorrect way of guidance. We need to guide them properly from their perspective. [My advice] 1) Learn to gradually control your emotions. For example, pay more attention to the shimmering qualities in your child and think about the issues from their perspective. If you were them, would you accept this educational approach? 2) Lead by example and study together with your child. Merely lecturing without taking practical actions is not effective. Try studying the piano together with your child, which will not only enhance your own skills, but will also strengthen the bond between you and your child. By being in a student-student relationship, you can better discover your child's interests and help them flourish. 3) Always remember to treat your loved ones well. Being able to have close relationships with family members is a wonderful fate. The time you spend together with them is limited, especially with your child. Your every word and action, your educational approach, and your attitude in speaking all have a subtle influence on them. I hope you can maintain a habit of reading, as it can calm the mind. I recommend the book \"Intimate Relationships,\" which discusses techniques for how to get along with family members and friends. Finally, I hope you can overcome yourself and have a happy family. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You will know the consequences of your harsh criticism when you look at me. I still have my sanity, but my dad almost killed me. What you are constructing now is a prison. Are you now forcing him to study hard, then force him to work hard, force him to get married, and force him to have children? What can heal the relationship between you and your child? Let your own child love his own life. Don't be too impatient for quick success. At the same time, your emotional intelligence is too low. Your responsibility as a father is to give love and guidance, not to force him to study hard. Now my relationship with my father is not good like yours. Why does he want me to shamelessly go work with my brother? Because he believes that money is everything, just like how grades can evaluate a child. Actually, you forgot about this polyp. Take your child out for exercise and spend a good weekend together. You should go create opportunities for both of you to learn together. Actually, you don't understand at all. Some children's excellence is not because of their parents' forcing, but because of their own interests. He plays video games not because he hasn't finished his tasks, but because there are too few tasks. If there are too few tasks, give him some joyful time. If your child likes playing video games, take him to the arcade. Because he made the choice, let him pay for his own choices. If he wants to give up, you can only encourage and guide him, not use harsh words. Let me tell you a psychological theorem, poor elementary students don't represent anything. Teachers know this. Elementary students who are average will improve to be above average in middle school, and will become one of the top students in high school. It's just a matter of time. And don't talk about other children. Let me ask you, can you find someone with the same job, life, and even genes as you? People are human because they have differences. Can the person who is first in chemistry be the same as the person who is first in biology? His path is not planned by you, but by himself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the original poster! You've worked hard! I am also a mother and can completely understand the feeling of getting angry and then regretting it later. It's really tough to take care of two children all day during the pandemic, and the situation can unintentionally affect our emotions. When multiple events come together at a certain moment, an outburst is inevitable. Throughout the whole process, you may feel frustrated and guilty. Let's try to review the whole process again and perhaps gain new insights. 1. You have high expectations for your child's learning. Your child is five and a half years old, and when they don't do well and you get angry, you lose control and scold them. Since you have strict requirements for your child's learning, it's possible that you have high expectations for yourself as well. That's why you set the same standards for your child. For example, when your child doesn't practice the piano well and gets angry, you may not agree with their way of doing things. Perhaps you think they should continue practicing even if they're not doing well, and getting angry won't help. Maybe you have tried to coax your child kindly, but they still get angry. At that point, you lose control of yourself. At this moment, your anger is not actually directed at the child, but at their way of handling problems. On a deeper level, it may be a frustration with your own lack of control, because the child is not conforming to what we consider the right way. A five and a half year old child may not be able to express their feelings accurately, such as when they are practicing the piano and feel frustrated. They express their dissatisfaction with themselves through crying, or their sense of powerlessness. When a child doesn't do well and gets angry, it's more likely to mean that they need the help of their parents. At this time, parents usually can't feel the child's inner needs, and all that's left is anger. Only when parents realize the child's needs and ignore their way of expressing themselves can they control their anger instead of being controlled by anger. 2. After getting angry, you regret it and feel frustrated. You think you are a failure and not a good mother. You also realize that your child's issue was blown out of proportion and it wasn't a big deal to begin with. You might be a mother who holds very strict standards for herself, hoping to control yourself and educate your child better. In fact, all mothers probably have these hopes. Nobody is perfect, and raising children is difficult and far from flawless. But as a mother, you have already done your best. Why did you act like this? On the surface, you got angry, but in reality, you are just exhausted and need to take a breather, rest, and be loved. Unfortunately, the reality is that no one is there to provide these things for you. Therefore, you need to practice self-care first. When you nurture yourself and meet your inner needs, you will naturally be in a better state to give your children and establish a better parent-child relationship. I hope this is helpful to you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject: Hello! Your situation, as I understand it, actually involves two things: firstly, how to manage your quick temper and tendency towards violence, and secondly, how to discipline your children. The most important thing in disciplining children is to do it calmly and ensure that the entire process is calm. If you cannot remain calm, then it's best not to discipline them. Set clear boundaries and your future impression on them will become gentle and amicable. In regards to your quick temper, you need to gradually cultivate your personality. When you feel like you're about to lose your temper, try spending some time alone and avoid giving yourself opportunities to vent your anger. Even if your child has made a genuine mistake, it should not be used as a reason to unleash your anger. One needs to face their anger alone, which may be difficult at first. But after enduring a few times, you will come to understand anger and slowly learn to coexist with it, effectively controlling it. Anger will come and go. As long as you don't hop on the bandwagon of anger and do nothing, just experiencing the process of anger rising and subsiding without taking any action, anger will not cause any excessive damage. If needed, and if you are initially uncomfortable being alone, you can also have a trusted person accompany you. You are not allowed to vent your anger towards the accompanying person, but they can hold your hands and feet when you are impulsive to prevent you from harming yourself. In theory, anger is a source of energy. Some people believe that anger reveals their spirit or dignity, but nonetheless, anger is very difficult to control. When people act out of anger, they often lose control, and this loss of control will only scare others and result in estrangement. Anger is not suitable for education. The purpose of education is to teach the learner through example. If a parent's anger and violence are tolerated, it sends the message to the child that anger and physical aggression are the main ways to solve problems. For young children, repeatedly experiencing anger and physical punishment can imprint upon them an easily irritable temperament. I saved the reasoning for last because I truly hope that you do not blame yourself because of this, but rather, understand the potential consequences of being easily angered and make an effort to separate anger from discipline.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This is a very good question. In the usual consultations, many mothers have expressed similar concerns - \"I understand the principles of parenting, but I can't control myself.\" When we were children, the material conditions were generally average. For our parents, meeting our basic needs for food, clothing, and shelter was already good enough, and there was rarely any extra energy to think about meeting our psychological needs. When we became parents, material conditions became greatly abundant, and our children began to have needs for self-esteem and love. The difficulty lies in the fact that we understand how we \"should\" treat our children, but it is difficult to actually do so. Because cultivating a secure attachment relationship and gently but firmly setting rules are related to critical periods of development. We experienced this when we were young, and as we grow up, we naturally treat others in the same way. If we didn't experience it when we were young, it takes a lot of effort to catch up, just like learning to correct pronunciation after not learning English when we were young. So don't blame yourself. This is the mission of our generation of parents: self-growth and then breaking the cycle of intergenerational transmission for our children, right? Have you ever thought that you can have a different relationship with yourself: no longer demanding perfection from yourself, patiently encouraging yourself when you lose control, seeing your efforts and achievements in the face of frustration, recognizing the hardships of taking care of two children continuously, and finding ways to appropriately address the exhaustion of parenting. Of course, building such a relationship requires repeated experiences. You can try psychological counseling, and let a counselor nurture you once. Afterward, you can also treat your children in the same way, helping them overcome difficulties encountered when they cannot persist in learning to play the piano, and using wisdom to help them develop habits. Thank you for the question, and best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your vent, I deeply understand your pain. Here's my analysis: \n1. \"I don't even know what's wrong with me.\" Firstly, anyone who has this thought lacks self-awareness. It means you are not aware of your own shortcomings and why you make mistakes. \n2. So where exactly is your problem? *Control=losing control *Control=oppression *Oppression=resistance *Resistance=pain *Acceptance=happiness *Happiness=healing. It is because you have been constantly trying to control yourself that you eventually lost control. Trying to control your emotions is actually oppressive. Oppression leads to resistance, which then causes pain. In the end, you lose your sanity and self-control. \n3. Therefore, you need to accept your negative emotions. You can tell yourself, \"I allow myself to get angry.\" Then shift your focus to doing household chores, video chatting with family and friends, or engaging in activities you enjoy. Cultivate a hobby that doesn't require too much time and energy, like gardening, embroidery, or yoga. As long as you love it, it's fine. Through your hobby, you can alleviate your negative emotions, relieve stress, and dissipate negative energy. Thank you for your question, and may all the goodness in the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15655
       },
       {
        "question": "In work, if one insists on principles, they may find themselves at odds with their superiors, which can be somewhat unsettling.",
        "description": "When working, sometimes there are disagreements among leaders, many of which differ from the requirements of the company. If I insist on company principles but disagree with the so-called leaders, they will say that I haven't done anything wrong. However, when something goes wrong, they push the blame onto me. If I stick to my principles and speak up to them, they will badmouth me to the company. The leaders will definitely believe them because their influence and connections are stronger than mine. But if I secretly report to higher-level leaders and the immediate leader gets scolded, they will definitely know I'm the one who spoke up. It's a dilemma, and I don't know how to handle it. I have stumbled a few times because of this and I feel anxious. Even though I understand, I still can't do well and I have a temper, but I believe it's temporary. I seek advice and comfort.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts and disputes, colleagues, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the original poster. You must be troubled with work recently, right? If the company's principles haven't violated the law, then just listen to the boss! Because you can't beat those experienced in the workplace. They know the rules and are using them, even using you too! If there's a risk, I suggest you ask them again on WeChat, and once you get a response, you can screenshot and save it, or record it. Keep evidence, as it's difficult to be used and make mistakes all the time! Report directly to higher management, if the direct supervisor is not reliable, just forget it. You can ask your direct supervisor on WeChat, and once you get a reply, ask the senior management. With evidence and confidence! If the direct supervisor is not reliable, then it's natural to be scolded. Isn't the workplace about abilities? If besides this issue, the company is still good, then you can stay. If other aspects are difficult too, then you can consider changing jobs, as interpersonal relationships at work can greatly affect your mood! The most important thing is to be happy in life. Hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Let me first understand your problem: 1. I don't know what job you do. How many leaders are you referring to? How many leaders do you report to? Why do the leaders oppose your adherence to company principles? 2. Does this situation happen often? Do other colleagues have similar situations as you? 3. First of all, do you think the work we do is basically correct and without mistakes? If so, you can ask the leaders to point out where we can make improvements. 4. If you have explained but still can't do it well, try to find the reasons. Do these difficulties affect your sleep and meals? Are you getting along well with your colleagues? If you still feel troubled, I suggest seeking one-on-one counseling. Thank you for your question!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19301
       },
       {
        "question": "It's about the college entrance exam, but I feel lost and unmotivated all day. How can I cheer up?",
        "description": "I'm not sure what's wrong with me now. I have nothing to do all day, daydream in class, overthink things, and have no interest in studying. When I get home, I just grab my phone and don't put in any effort. I used to be different, but now I've become this way and it's scary. I have the college entrance exam coming up and I want to succeed, but it's so hard to overcome myself. Can you all help me? How can I get back on track?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, healing methods, anxious emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Hugs to you! After reading your description, it seems that you are currently facing exam anxiety related to the college entrance examination (gaokao). You want to prepare for the exam in the best state possible but haven't found effective ways to deal with it. I truly understand your concerns. When facing academic pressure, it's important to learn how to shift your focus. I recall an experience of one of my friends who also suffered from severe anxiety before the gaokao. She even needed medication to alleviate her anxiety. However, her parents made a wise decision to take her on a trip to relax and visit university campuses. In just one week, her anxiety that had troubled her for nearly a year was relieved. Perhaps you can consider following my friend's example. Just imagining our future plan might not have a significant impact, and such daydreaming cannot sustain our beliefs. We need to step out of the confines of our study desks and have a broader view of the world. By doing so, our perspectives will also expand.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1553
       },
       {
        "question": "A 9th-grade girl is having difficulty studying during the National Day holiday, what should she do?",
        "description": "I have been on vacation for four days and haven't done anything. I feel anxious and really want to go to school. I don't feel like studying at all when I'm at home, but deep down I still want to study well. I always can't control myself. I don't particularly want to play with my phone, but whenever I try to study, I feel sleepy.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! I completely understand how you feel. Hugs for you! You seem to be very anxious, most likely due to academic matters but it could also be from other sources of pressure. You're feeling anxious, so you have a strong desire to study, but when you actually start studying, you find reasons to give up. It could be because you find it too difficult or you simply don't enjoy doing homework. You may have a tendency to pursue perfection and feel that you must achieve unparalleled results in your tasks. Undoubtedly, such high expectations are too perfectionistic and difficult to attain, resulting in constant procrastination...and the eventual outcome can be easily imagined. In fact, you could slow down and give yourself some proper rest time. It's important to maintain a healthy sleep schedule and ensure you get enough sleep. You can plan some vacation time for yourself, for example, decide to take a day off to rest and then resume studying. However, it's important to follow through with your plans. When studying, we need immediate feedback, as it is difficult to stay motivated for long-term goals that don't offer immediate rewards. Therefore, remember to set some rewards and consequences for your daily studying. If you complete your tasks diligently, reward yourself with something, but if you fail to finish them, impose some penalties.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 16,
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           },
           {
            "start": 54,
            "end": 93,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 93,
            "end": 192,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 192,
            "end": 239,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 239,
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           },
           {
            "start": 284,
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           },
           {
            "start": 322,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7750
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old female, lately frequently recalls those past events, always feeling very wronged?",
        "description": "In middle school, I was molested by a teacher and the person was punished, but I don't know why I often think about it during this period. I know it wasn't my fault, but I can't help feeling very aggrieved and wanting to cry. Because of these things, I've become very insecure. At the time when it happened, I didn't think so much, but now when I'm alone, I can't help but think about it and feel very uncomfortable. I tell myself that it will all pass and that the bad person has already been punished, but I still feel very sad and afraid of men. At home, there's only my brother and my dad. If my mom isn't around, I find ways to avoid them. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, trauma therapy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the questioner. After we have experienced certain traumatic events that have a significant impact on ourselves, causing us to feel sad, hurt, or even embarrassed, we may not want to express our feelings about it for various reasons at that time, or even be unwilling to mention it at all. However, the various effects caused by the event itself cannot be erased, especially the intense negative emotions at that time. In order to protect ourselves and minimize the impact of this event on our future lives, we often choose to bury this memory along with the emotions felt at that time deep inside us, suppressing it into our subconscious. However, in fact, we have not dealt with this event well, especially our negative emotions have not been released. This is actually a self-protective psychological mechanism called \"isolation\". The impact of the event itself still exists and will not gradually be forgotten because we intentionally choose not to remember it. And specific times in life may trigger our memories of these traumatic events and the emotional experiences at that time. The questioner is now trapped in such a situation. In daily life, we may not be able to find someone who fully accepts us as a confidant and helps us release the suppressed emotions inside us. Therefore, I still recommend that the questioner find a suitable psychologist. With their help, the two of you can work together to deal with this memory. I hope you can overcome your current difficulties soon. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Your issue is that a past experience has made it difficult for you to let go and even to face men, including your father and brother. This is causing you a lot of distress, right? First of all, I want to say that it is not your fault. 1. This is likely a trauma response because the incident, although in the past, has not truly concluded for you and has triggered a trauma response. It is reminding you to pay attention to your inner self and acknowledge that it is hurt. 2. The mind cannot grasp the truth. Many events not only leave memories in our minds but also cellular memories in our bodies. For example, fear, anger, and sadness all leave traces in our bodies, resulting in long-term tension, contraction, and stiffness. So, while the mind thinks it's in the past, the body and soul have not fully recovered. 3. Things you can do: \u2460 Seek help from family and friends. \u2461 Seek assistance from professional teams and doctors. \u2462 Despite feeling scared, still believe that you can find ways to face your fears. I wish you the best. I hope you find peace, health, beauty, and bravery.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4265
       },
       {
        "question": "Is a girl's first time important?",
        "description": "I am currently a freshman. Today, while chatting with my roommate, our conversation shifted to girls' first time experiences. They all seemed to think it's normal to lose it for the first time, especially if it's with someone you really like; maybe my thinking is more conservative, but I believe a girl's first time should only happen after marriage, not casually. I think it's important to respect oneself. I find their viewpoint a bit extreme and different from my usual way of thinking, so I'm quite surprised. Should I agree with their perspective?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, you can maintain an open attitude towards different viewpoints and thoughts. You can acknowledge others' opinions while also standing firm in your own beliefs. These two aspects are not conflicting because things themselves are multifaceted. It can be seen that you are a girl who loves to contemplate and draw nourishment from every aspect of life, which is great. Regarding whether a girl's first time is important or not, every girl may have her own inner thoughts influenced by her personality and upbringing experiences. Your thoughts are also shaped by your personality and experiences. There's no need for anyone to agree with or validate others' thoughts, nor is there a universal standard for what is better or correct. When it comes to such matters with different viewpoints, it is good to follow your own inner thoughts. You can accept different perspectives, but it doesn't mean you have to change your own viewpoint. It's like how people perceive a rainy day: some may find it cool and refreshing, quiet and relaxing, while others may see it as inconvenient for transportation or disruptive to their work schedule. For you, the first time is important and should be saved for marriage, while for others, it is also important to give it to someone they truly love, as it is a sign of self-respect. You are looking at the same matter from different angles and naturally have different thoughts. Moreover, as you encounter more diverse people and things, you might change your own thoughts and believe it's okay to entrust yourself to someone you like. On the other hand, they may at some point look back on their first experience and feel that it would have been nice to save it for marriage, to share it with the person who will be their lifelong partner. So, if you believe that your current mindset is fine and correct, then follow your principles and thinking without worrying about others' opinions. Everyone has their own unique soul, so allowing for different thoughts and perspectives while acknowledging your own is what compassion and acceptance are all about, isn't it? Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title: Hello! From your description, it seems that you are a more conservative person. Regarding a girl's first time, I think I may have something in common with you. Currently, I believe that a girl's first time is very important and should happen after marriage. However, by the time you reach that stage, you may not think the same way anymore. Time changes, people change, so we may stick to our current beliefs, but when we are overwhelmed by emotions, it doesn't matter anymore. It may still be important, as we are giving ourselves to the person we love the most, which is also a form of significance. So, there doesn't necessarily have to be a requirement to wait until after marriage; it could also happen before. You don't need to agree with their perspectives, as everyone has their own views on things. You can stick to your own viewpoint. I hope this can help you. The above is just my personal opinion, for reference only. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21621
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I suspect something if I notice red marks on my husband's face after his shift at work?",
        "description": "After my husband had dinner, he went to work at the office until 11pm. When he came back, I noticed lipstick marks on his face. I asked him how it happened, but he refused to say anything. This made me suspect that my husband was seeing someone else behind my back, and now we suddenly have nothing to talk about. Although I have no evidence, I try to convince myself that maybe it was just an accidental encounter with something red. But I still can't shake off my suspicion towards my husband. I wish someone could tell me the truth of what happened. Should I really be suspicious?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, infidelity, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Honest communication and maintaining a calm attitude to solve problems would be a better way to address potential conflicts in intimate relationships. From your description, it seems that you are not an impulsive woman. Even when you noticed your husband coming home late with lipstick marks on his face, you were able to think calmly and respond calmly, which is good. You can analyze whether there have been any abnormalities in your relationship recently, or any unusual behavior from your husband, including his dress, normal working hours, or socializing with friends, etc. Has everything been as usual? Has there been any change in your relationship and intimacy recently? Has his attitude towards you been better or worse, or the same as before? If he is truly having an affair or cheating, it wouldn't happen in just one day. There may have been signs and signals that you just haven't noticed. After contemplating the worst possible outcome and considering how to deal with it, you can have a calm conversation with your husband. Present the facts, express your feelings, convey your expectations, and give him an opportunity to speak and express his feelings, rather than having an emotional outburst. I'm not sure how you asked him about the lipstick marks on his face. If he didn't say anything, it could be because he can hide it, or it may be nothing and he's just too lazy to explain, or he doesn't know how the lipstick marks got there, etc. Only through open and honest communication can you find out. You can start by casually mentioning that you saw something on his face, which is a definite event that has occurred; express your doubts and opinions about it, feeling anxious and conflicted, both afraid of wrongly accusing him and afraid that he may actually be having an affair. Finally, express your expectations that he can honestly tell you the truth and that you will also try to calm down and handle your emotions, hoping to avoid the internal struggle and to give yourself a definite result. Whether there is or isn't an affair, you will think about the problems in the relationship. Do not conceal your suspicions in the relationship, nor deprive each other of the opportunity to explain and express feelings. Even if there is a negative outcome, it must be faced. Pretending to be deaf and mute will not help with emotions. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17258
       },
       {
        "question": "26-year-old male, tends to sulk and not resolve issues when faced with certain situations.",
        "description": "Recently, I discovered that I have always been prone to avoiding things that I care about. Due to the pandemic, our workplace is under closed management, and we need to get a leave form signed by both N (direct supervisor) and the director (higher-level supervisor) before taking time off. However, I didn't get the leave form signed for this weekend, and now I want to go out but feel frustrated about it. Actually, I had planned to go out this weekend to get a haircut, but on Friday, N said there was no need to get the form signed and that I could just inform the security guard when going out. I didn't say anything and thought that I probably wouldn't be able to go out. Then, over the weekend, N mentioned having a meal at a restaurant, so I asked him how I could go out. He still said I should inform the security guard. Our relationship with the security guard is fine, so I should be able to get their permission, but I just don't want to rely on personal connections. So, I'm feeling frustrated here and thinking maybe I shouldn't go out and just skip dinner. I don't know what kind of obstacle this is.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. The reasons for avoiding problems may appear to be varied, but behind them seems to be fear. When we repeatedly choose to expose ourselves to fearful environments, such avoidance behaviors may decrease. From your description, it can be seen that you are conflicted and confused about constantly evading things that matter to you internally. On one hand, you believe that you should do certain things, but on the other hand, the voice in your mind always makes you procrastinate or run away. To solve the inherent mindset of avoiding situations, you need to repeatedly and bravely confront problems. You may have also noticed that while you can escape temporarily and achieve relaxation and inner peace, such things you evade will eventually come back to you in another way, causing more pressure and anxiety. For example, when you go to work, your boss asks why you didn't go out to eat last night. Didn't you say you would inform the security guard? What happened? etc. Maybe the boss won't think much of it at first, but your inherent thinking of avoidance may make you do many similar things again, and at that time, your boss may not be as accommodating. Face the things you truly fear, then practice facing them multiple times, give yourself positive psychological suggestions, and overcome the habit of avoiding and deal with problems normally. Perhaps you not only have similar issues in this matter but also in other interpersonal events. Maybe you are afraid of those scenes or formalities in interpersonal relationships, feeling restricted and constrained at the dining table or when asking for help, and having some concerns about losing face, etc. The true reasons require your serious analysis and introspection. Only by identifying what you truly fear can you confront them. Discovering the reasons is not enough. You need to try and experience it more in social situations. When you feel the urge to retreat, you can encourage and motivate yourself, telling yourself that these things are not a big deal, even if you say something wrong or make small mistakes. You are in a process of development and change, so give yourself some time to adapt and integrate. When you repeatedly confront problems, you may find that you have quietly changed a lot. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20796
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it possible to have two counselors at the same time?",
        "description": "Previously, in a lecture, it was mentioned that visitors with unstable emotions need a counselor to help sort out their emotions, while another counselor helps to deal with the problem. Some may even request two counselors for a personal experience. What is this situation? What should be noted?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I understand that you want to quickly resolve your state or problem, but I think it needs to be divided into two judgments. \ud83e\udd29 It requires someone to take responsibility for the visitor. \ud83e\udd29 For me, sometimes if the client is in a state of depression or even a more serious state with suicidal tendencies, then we cannot judge: - Whose consultation is ineffective? - Whose consultation is effective? - Who is responsible for this emotional loss of control? - Who is responsible for this crisis? However, if there are physical illnesses present, it requires the intervention of traditional Chinese medicine or Western medicine, and I will advise them to seek a doctor to collaborate with our consultation. Also, when I encounter a visitor whom I am not competent to handle, I will refer them to someone else. \ud83e\udd29 Emotions and problems cannot be separated. \ud83e\udd29 Behind all emotions, there are deep-seated issues, and all problems will bring about emotions. These two cannot be separated: one person to solve emotions, one person to solve problems. Problems and emotions are like twin sisters. A good counselor should see the deep-seated issues behind emotions and find out what drives the problem. We also need to see what uncontrollable emotions are brought about by the problem for this visitor. How to solve this problem and emotion requires us to work diligently on both fronts. \ud83e\udd29 Work with the visitor, not just their problems and phenomena. A good counselor works with the visitor themselves, not just their emotions and problems. Our goal in working with visitors is to accompany them in facing themselves, facing the outside world, and facing problems that may arise at any time, rather than just solving the problems and emotions they are currently facing. We should focus on working on their personality, habits, subconscious, worldview, and cognition. We should emphasize a systematic approach to personal growth, rather than just fixing what is immediate and superficial. \ud83e\udd29 By starting with the corrections of the original family, visitors won't fall back in a second. \ud83e\udd29 If our individual problems overlap with family systems or if individual problems lead to significant family problems, then family therapists may need to intervene, and separate treatments may be required. In this case, we can suggest finding a different type of therapist to help with synchronous counseling for you and your family. I have found that if a child's problems are caused by their parents' problems, and we only work on the child's part without addressing the issues with the parents and the original family, the parents and the long-accumulated environment of the original family will cause our visitor to regress in an instant, rendering all counseling ineffective. That's why we need to bring in additional family therapists to provide counseling for the parents, resolving the issues at the root, and naturally solving the child's problems. I recommend the book \"Change Starts from the Heart.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5090
       },
       {
        "question": "Three years ago, I experienced depressive emotions. After being diagnosed with depression, what are the benefits of knowing about the condition?",
        "description": "I often feel unhappy when going to school, probably because I am not adapted to the new environment, haven't made any friends, and my parents argue, resulting in a suppressed mood. I have been experiencing depressive emotions for about three years, but it comes and goes. Recently, I cry frequently, maybe because of the change in environment or other factors. However, my mood improves a lot during summer and winter vacations. I feel like I might have mild depression, but what benefits would it bring if I were diagnosed with depression? Sometimes I feel that if I were diagnosed with depression, I would attribute all my shortcomings to the depression. Being diagnosed doesn't seem to have a positive impact on my life. Moreover, it would disrupt the original situation within the family, and life would be completely different.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, and psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate, from your words and between the lines, I can sense that you are facing some difficulties and have fears and worries about diagnosis. Everyone has moments of being stuck in the mud, and everyone has different abilities to withstand stress. When external struggles exceed our capacity to bear, our bodies will show symptoms. The existence of these symptoms reminds us to seek help from the outside and to seek support. The diagnosis of depression exists in order to be better helped, and professional doctors will give professional advice based on our own situations, helping us to navigate through the current muddy situation psychologically and physically. Of course, we should also believe in our own strength. Diagnosis is not about being stigmatized or labeled. Just like you said, we cannot attribute everything to depression. When we have a cold, we take medicine. Depression is a psychological disruption caused by external factors. It is like our own immune power being temporarily suppressed. We should believe that we have inner strength to overcome difficulties. Think about whether the new environment is really that terrible. Who can provide us with spiritual support, or who in our existing relationships can help us? We can utilize these resources to build a support network for ourselves, even seeking professional help, including doctors and therapists, who can become sources of energy for us. Additionally, it's not your fault. Your problems are not a burden on your family. The current situation of your parents is the result of choices they made. They, as adults, chose this marriage and relationship pattern. Even if they noticed some changes due to your problems and broke the original pattern of life, these responsibilities should not be shouldered by you. Adults are much stronger than you think. They are not so fragile. You may feel like your world is collapsing, but they may not even be aware of this issue yet. Facing the problem instead of avoiding it is the best way to solve the problem. Let your parents understand your situation and obtain some support, which I believe is important for you. I think you need to be understood.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13821
       },
       {
        "question": "Can I have some comforting words? I'm 13 years old and in my first year of junior high.",
        "description": "At 13 years old, in the first year of junior high school. At home, no matter what happens to me, no matter how others treat me, the only words that come out of my parents' mouths are \"you deserve it.\" This world is too noisy and not suitable for me.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Your parents answered you with \"deserve it\". You are very hurt inside. The use of attacking language by your parents is actually their mode of interaction, communication, and communication. They don't know how to express love, and they are used to it. They don't even need to think about it. Just like pressing a button, they will immediately retort you in their habitual thinking mode. They are not even aware that this way of speaking can hurt you. Perhaps in their eyes, it is still a normal way of response. \"I'm worried about you because I love you, I feel sorry for you. I feel it's not worth it, that's why I'm angry.\" Because you are their child, they are not good at using the correct way to express themselves without hurting you. Your parents probably also inherited the wrong interaction pattern from their parents, which you cannot accept and makes you feel unloved. Instead, you only feel rebuked. Actually, love is hidden in this situation. For example, a daughter pours the books in her backpack on the ground and does not pick them up for two days. During this time, her mother told her not to panic if the book is lost. The child did not take her mother's words seriously. Sure enough, on Monday when school started, her math workbook was nowhere to be found. The child cried in a panic and sought help from her mother. The mother was both angry and worried but she was also helpless. So she resorted to blaming, saying \"You brought this upon yourself. I told you to pick it up, but you didn't listen.\" Could it be that parents have reminded you many times about many things? And you still continue to repeat the same mistakes. This kind of situation occurs frequently in the past, and parents don't know what to do either. They only know how to express their anger and frustration because you keep repeating those mistakes, such as throwing away your red scarf, misplacing your bus card, or losing your school uniform. They see you get anxious and distressed, and their hearts become chaotic. Every set of parents is imperfect. It's just that each parent has a different way of expressing love. If you stand at a level of understanding and accept their emotions, you won't feel angry. You will feel that they are not attacking or hurting you, but rather because they care about you and love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ It's really concerning to hear you say that. I want to give you a big hug. In the journey of life, most of the time it's filled with challenges, while moments of ease are rare. From what you mentioned, it's really heart-breaking to hear that your parents neglect you and always think you deserve whatever happens to you. Because I don't know the specific circumstances that led your parents to speak like that, maybe they have their own thoughts, or perhaps they didn't mean to say things that way, but sometimes they just can't control it, and they don't know how to express \"love\" to you. So they try to change you by using different words. I think you should communicate with your parents, have a talk with them, and let them know that their words hurt you and make you feel uncomfortable. Everyone experiences hardships in life, but please never lose hope. Every problem can be solved, and the world loves you! Also, we can try some small methods to avoid this situation. Firstly, release your emotions. If you're feeling mentally distressed, you can have a good cry or confide in someone you trust. Secondly, distract yourself. You can go for a run, listen to music, or go swimming, engaging in activities that can change your unpleasant mood and psychological pressure. Adjust your emotions and keep striving! Wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate. You're 13 years old, in the first year of junior high school, and you might be entering adolescence. The following is a quote: \"The second peak period of physical growth and development during adolescence. This term has 12 different meanings. Adolescence refers to the period when reproductive organs mature and secondary sexual characteristics develop, marking the first time individuals have reproductive capability. In humans and higher primates, it is marked by the first occurrence of menstruation in females. It generally refers to the age range of adolescence. Adolescence is the transitional period from childhood to adulthood, during which children gradually develop into adults. Adolescence is a critical period of rapid growth and development in the human body, and it is also the second peak period of growth and development in life after infancy. It generally occurs between the ages of 11 and 20 for humans. The onset and end ages of adolescence vary greatly between individuals and can differ by 2-5 years. Adolescence refers to the period when reproductive organs mature and secondary sexual characteristics develop, marking the first time individuals have reproductive capability. In humans and higher primates, it is marked by the first occurrence of menstruation in females. It generally refers to the age range of adolescence. Adolescence is the transitional period from childhood to adulthood, during which children gradually develop into adults. Adolescence is a critical period of rapid growth and development in the human body, and it is also the second peak period of growth and development in life after infancy. It generally occurs between the ages of 11 and 20 for humans. The onset and end ages of adolescence vary greatly between individuals and can differ by 2-5 years.\" During this stage, your thoughts might be different from before, so you need to adjust yourself first. Parents are also first-time parents, and they are learning too...there might be ways that make you unhappy, but I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, when you say these things, it may just be a way to vent. Maybe your parents feel at a loss after hearing it, as they don't know how to handle it. They might be anxious to find a solution but lack the answers. They hope you can handle it on your own, so they become angry and frustrated. In the end, a series of psychological processes are omitted, and it becomes a simple phrase of \"it serves you right.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 434
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do people want to avoid exams after registering?",
        "description": "It's frustrating that I signed up for the exam myself, but now I don't feel like taking it anymore. I know that passing the exam would benefit me, but I'm just too lazy to go and take it. The thought of exams makes me feel anxious, stressed, and uncomfortable. I worry about what would happen if I fail, and I would also be wasting time and money. How can I motivate myself to study for my exams? I have two subjects to study, and currently, I've quit my job and stay at home, but all I do is watch TikTok videos and anime every day.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, avoidance, smartphone dependence, laziness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's clear that you are feeling conflicted right now. You don't know what you should do. You know that passing the exam would be beneficial for you, and everyone knows that. But you just can't control yourself. I think the reason you don't want to go is because you feel unprepared. You mentioned that you have two exams, but you are lying in bed at home playing TikTok now. If you keep wasting your time on these things, I think you will never be prepared. Learning is endless, and knowledge is infinite. We can never learn everything, but we should try to learn the knowledge around us within the infinite time we have. If you study hard for the exam, I believe that one day you will be rewarded, and you will be admitted. Set yourself a small goal, precise enough to have a learning task for every day, every hour, every moment. This will give you some motivation and a little bit of pressure. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6177
       },
       {
        "question": "22-year-old girl, recently experiencing anxiety and even contemplating avoiding practicing due to her driving lessons. What should she do?",
        "description": "I have always been sensitive in interpersonal communication, caring about my own image, and easily influenced by others' opinions, so I often feel stressed. Recently, during the one-on-one driving lessons, due to the coach's blame and criticism (such as terrible coordination, definitely won't pass, too rigid and inflexible), my mentality fluctuated greatly, and I made more mistakes during training, leading to a vicious cycle. Now, even the thought of practicing driving makes me more anxious, my heart beats faster, and when I see the coach asking if I want to practice, I want to avoid it. Can you please advise on how to improve? I hope to receive guidance, thank you!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation, panic helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader. I can truly understand the anxiety you feel when learning to drive. I believe the main reasons for this anxiety stem from two aspects. Firstly, you are very sensitive to others' opinions, and after being criticized by your instructor, you tend to make more mistakes, creating a vicious cycle that even makes you want to escape from the situation. Our self-image is generally formed through self-perception and the opinions of others, so it is necessary to pay attention to others' evaluations. However, excessive focus on others' comments can easily lead to being influenced by their thoughts, resulting in an inaccurate understanding of oneself. After all, each person is a unique individual, and others' opinions may not necessarily apply to you entirely. Additionally, everyone has their own path to follow. As long as we carefully consider and choose the right path for ourselves, and earnestly complete it, we can maintain a calm attitude toward others' evaluations. Because your life is truly not heavily influenced by others, they cannot make decisions for you. Secondly, regarding the criticism from your instructor, I want to assure you that even the most competent individuals encounter this during their initial learning phase. Therefore, you shouldn't be too concerned, as the instructor's intention is definitely to see you pass and have high expectations for you, which is why they may use some provocative words to motivate you. When I was practicing for the driving test, even when I became quite stable in the later stages, I still received negative feedback from my instructor, warning me not to be overconfident and to be cautious during the actual test. Of course, if you still feel that the instructor's comments are making you worried about the test, you can communicate with them after the practice session and ask for any suggestions they may have for the exam. Lastly, I wish you good luck in obtaining your driver's license! Best regards, a little mushroom that hopes for a gentle world and gives yourself the time to grow freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Self-confidence includes trusting oneself and trusting others. However, blind self-confidence is also undesirable. Anxiety and confusion come from the unknown and uncertainty. When facing anxiety and confusion: \n\u2460 The first thing to do is to ask yourself questions. Why am I so anxious? Afraid of criticism? Afraid of not being able to complete training quickly and accurately? In fact, these issues are all trivial. It is normal for girls to have poor motor skills and a weak sense of direction. It is normal to have slow movements or mistakes. Apologize to the coach and ask him to explain more carefully if there is a problem. When you show enough respect to the coach, he will also feel uncomfortable giving a bad attitude. \n\u2461 When you know why you are anxious, you should think about how to reduce the source of anxiety. Practice is necessary to improve movements, and progress can only be made with the coach's help. However, you can spend some extra time watching videos or reading tutorials to better understand the operation of the movements. When you have a good understanding, your performance during practice will be smoother. If that's still not enough, you can directly ask the coach for other methods to assist your learning besides movement training. \nIn fact, the issue of mindset is not that difficult to solve. Being humble and actively learning can solve many problems. Remember not to be too eager for quick results. I don't know if the above answer can be helpful. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from signing up to getting your license, you need to overcome many obstacles, which really tests a person's confidence. So here, I want to affirm the author who is brave enough to learn how to drive. You are great and courageous. Next, let's analyze your issues and hopefully provide you with some help. 1. Learning how to resolve the source of stress: \"Being sensitive during interpersonal communication and caring about self-image makes me easily influenced by others' opinions, which often causes stress.\" Our sources of stress come not only from ourselves but also from the outside world, namely other people's opinions. Negative comments can make us feel unhappy and stressed. The most effective way to deal with stress is to learn how to resolve it. The author should understand that you can only reduce your own stress, and others' opinions become irrelevant to you. For example, if the instructor blames you for poor coordination, you can confidently confront him: \"It's precisely because I am not good at it that I chose one-on-one lessons. I need your patient teaching. Otherwise, what's the point of paying the expensive fees for these personalized lessons?\" Or, you can consult the driving school and request a change of instructor. In conclusion, you don't have to silently bear it and accumulate negative energy every day. 2. Frequent mistakes: When I was learning to drive, before taking the second stage exam, I spent two weeks just driving straight. I chose a manual transmission and in the first week, the car stalled as soon as I started. I couldn't even control starting the engine properly. Many people thought that I wouldn't pass the second stage. But later on, I learned to reverse and other maneuvers quickly because I had a good foundation. I made all the mistakes that could be made in the beginning, so I was confident during the exam. To evaluate your future state based on your past and negate you is actually the instructor's irresponsibility. You should not deny yourself because of this. The more others doubt you, the more you need to prove yourself and show your achievements. You should learn to affirm your progress every day. For example, if today I stalled the car one less time compared to yesterday, I would consider it as progress. We must practice if we are not good at something. Let me share an inspirational quote with you: \"Know your shame and then be brave.\" Just think about how in the future, you can proudly show your report card to the instructor and say, \"I passed! It feels so good!\" So don't be afraid! Avoiding problems will never solve them. If you make mistakes, correct them and take it slow. We may learn a bit slower, but we will definitely learn! Keep going! I wish you an early success in getting your license!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I hope my answer can bring you some insights. Firstly, what I can see is that the lovely questioner has already realized their existing problems and has the desire to change, which is already great! When we become aware of our problems, we should immediately seek proactive change. Here are a few small suggestions for your question: Part 1 - Get to know yourself again and fully utilize your strengths. After identifying your strengths, make the most out of them. This will help improve your self-identity and boost self-confidence. Don't pursue perfection. No one is perfect, so don't completely deny yourself over a little failure. If you immerse yourself in the sense of defeat, you will feel disappointed, frustrated, or even helpless. Therefore, shift your focus to what you are good at instead of fixating on your weaknesses. Accept yourself. Regardless of what kind of person you are, you are unique, and you should learn to be happy with yourself. For example, if you tend to label yourself as shy, you may not dare to speak in social situations. However, being shy doesn't mean being strange or abnormal, and you should accept your uniqueness. Because you don't need everyone's approval, nor do you need to live the same as others. Embrace the real you. Part 2 - Confident behavior and appearance changes. They say people are visual creatures, so your clothing and hairstyle will also influence you. Of course, this doesn't mean you have to buy expensive clothes or get a fancy hairstyle, but rather being neat and presentable. Join courses or clubs. Cultivate a hobby to feel more fulfilled. Read more. \"Within books lies a house of gold, within books lies beauty\" is not without reason (not literally a house of gold and beauty). Reading more can improve your inner qualities, which cannot be achieved through other means. I hope this can help you. If you have more questions or concerns, feel free to send me a private message or follow our WeChat official account: Mental Health Pro.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hug you! From your description, I can tell that you are quite sensitive in interpersonal communication. You care about how others perceive you and are afraid of being criticized. You also seem to be worried about making the other person annoyed during a conversation. Driving instructors have usually been working in society for a long time and they have to teach all kinds of students every day, dealing with students who have different personalities. The job has worn down their patience, leaving them with only mechanical teaching methods. However, we should also understand the difficulties faced by the instructors. There are fast learners among students, but there are also slower ones. It is not possible for the instructors to adapt to every student's learning characteristics, so they choose to make the students adapt to them. The instructors teach everyone the same way, using the same rules, and then observe us as we try to grasp the key points of the rules, such as where to stop the car and when to turn the steering wheel. I hope you know that learning to drive on the road is a very serious matter! Very serious! Because if we are not careful, it can lead to an accident, and how can we ensure our own lives and the lives of others? Therefore, the seriousness of the instructor is telling us that we cannot be careless while driving, we cannot just get by. I guess you are not unable to learn to drive, it's just that the instructor has put too much pressure on you with their words, causing you to doubt yourself and want to avoid the instructor and stay away from danger. This is indeed not conducive to our learning. We cannot change the instructor, but we can change ourselves and change our mindset. The instructor is like this with everyone, not just you, but also other students. So, you can discount the reproaches from the instructor. If you are really afraid of the instructor, you can consider changing to a different one. Maybe you can find out what kind of person the instructor is in private, whether they are as strict in their interactions with other instructors as they are in teaching. As I mentioned earlier, learning to drive is not a trivial matter! I don't recommend dragging along with learning to drive because you have already spent money, time, and energy. In the end, you still have to learn and face it. So it's best to learn well and get your license as soon as possible. Avoidance will only prolong the pain. The pain that should have been brief will be extended infinitely by you... Finally, I hope you grit your teeth, memorize the rhymes taught by the instructor during your driving lessons, and discount everything else they say. After you finish learning, go back and vent your dissatisfaction with the instructor to your friends, scold them. Good luck! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. Ahahaha, if you want me to recall what I was like when I first started learning to drive, I would still find the second phase of the exam quite difficult. The first time I touched the steering wheel, the instructor only asked me to practice going forward and backward between two straight lines, and to maintain a steady speed. I couldn't even do that properly and of course, I received a lot of criticism. At that time, I thought it was impossible for me to do well. After one or two days, I suddenly got the hang of it and even learned how to parallel park. I even felt like a genius teenage girl! I passed both the second and third phases of the exam on my first try. I can share some tips with you: the day before the exam, you can go through the operational procedures in your mind or write them down, which will give you a greater sense of confidence. If you have particularly poor mental resilience, the instructor may recommend purchasing an exam insurance policy. The insurance fee is 100 yuan, and if you fail to pass the exam five times in a row, you can get a refund of your tuition fee. Even though my instructor said I was already doing well, I still bought it, and after purchasing it, the psychological burden was really minor. As for dealing with the instructor's criticism, have you ever read any online jokes? Which instructor doesn't scold people? Just take it in stride. Avoid interpersonal relationships and anxiety. You know you have to face them sooner or later. In fact, after you get your license, you won't have much to do with the instructor anymore, so it's better to end this experience sooner, right?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugging you, being picky and criticized in your overall evaluation makes it unbearable for you. Not just you, no one can tolerate such a coach. We didn't come here to listen to his criticism. Don't you agree? This coach is too extreme. There's no way to continue learning to drive, try changing coaches. Additionally, what I want to say is that maybe you have been living in an environment where you are constantly criticized, which makes you have a low self-esteem and always feel that nothing is good enough. Especially in such a critical environment, it further lowers your self-worth and makes you feel terrible. In this state, it's impossible to handle learning how to drive. In China, people have very low self-esteem, focusing on finding faults with themselves, but it's difficult to find their own strengths. Because no one has ever praised us, all they do is nitpick. Now, try to find three of your own strengths every day, love yourself, nourish yourself, and slowly you will start to feel better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's clear that you are a very strong-willed person, and I can tell that you have put a lot of effort into learning to drive. I hope your instructor can see your efforts and progress, but unexpectedly, all you've received is criticism from them. Anyone would be affected by such a strong contrast and it would impact their motivation to keep going. In this situation, I hope you can give yourself a hug. It must be really difficult if you have put in all that effort and yet feel unseen. So, don't focus on external evaluations anymore. Pay more attention to yourself. You have enough strength to decide how you feel and not let external instabilities affect you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I hope you're doing well. I have also been preparing for the driver's license exam recently. If something is causing you such severe anxiety, it might be a good idea to take a step back and give yourself some time to relax and recharge before attempting it again. Besides, learning to drive is not a \"life-altering event,\" and many people choose not to learn at all. But if you decide to take the exam, don't let small failures or negative comments from your instructor affect your mood and confidence. If they say your driving is not good, you can say they're not teaching well. Show life that you're not afraid. It's not a big deal. I also have some tips to share with you: when you're feeling nervous, try blowing air onto your thumb. It might help calm your heartbeat and relieve some stress. When you're not practicing, you can read posts on Weibo or Zhihu about funny and relatable exam experiences. It's a great way to relax and realize that you're not alone in this. If you're interested, you can also mentally go through the driving procedures. Practicing is key to mastering this skill. (Not recommended) If you're feeling too anxious before the exam, you can ask your instructor or classmates for tranquilizers. Some exam centers might have them prepared, but it depends on your health condition.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14015
       },
       {
        "question": "Am I still considered a sadomasochist (SM)? I am a masochist, but I feel incredibly miserable when engaging in it.",
        "description": "I found that I have a sense of pleasure when I am slapped, and I consider myself to be a masochist. A few months ago, I found an sadist online and the initial conversations were fine, so I decided to meet up with him. The training went smoothly and he was gentle when we weren't engaging in that. However, after meeting in person, everything changed. I found that he would get extremely angry very easily, even if I just made a small comment (I believe that in an SM relationship, it should be a two-way street, so I also wanted to express my opinions). When he got angry, he would verbally abuse me, and it was really frightening. At first, I could accept it, but as our arguments became more frequent, almost every other day (and it was always him berating me), I gradually fell into a low emotional state. I feel a lot of pressure and anxiety, and I have nightmares at night and wake up early in the morning. Sometimes the disputes would last until one or two in the morning, and he would even make me do tasks in the middle of the night, guaranteeing a sleepless night. Now, I am afraid when he doesn't chat with me, but I am also afraid when he does. Because I believe that I have invested a lot in this dynamic and he also has a large collection of videos of me; however, when he does reach out, it's either to do online tasks or to argue (I am someone who is barely into feeling love, and most of the tasks he assigns are related to sex). I am very restless, but I cannot say a word of complaint, I have to pretend that I really like it, because if I contradict him, he will start arguing with me. Am I really a masochist, or am I just not a good one?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, people-pleasing, control, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It is an honor to be invited to answer your question! From your description, it is evident that the current relationship is causing you a lot of pain and stress. The main source of this pressure is the difference in play styles between both parties. More specifically, each side has different points of excitement. Due to the specific nature of the SM relationship, your partner (the \"s\") may be focused on their own points of excitement and may overlook yours. Over time, the accumulation of these experiences may start to overshadow the thrill and pleasure you initially derived from SM, leading to increased pain. In actuality, in an SM relationship, although it may appear that the \"s\" is in control, they need to discover the \"m's\" points of excitement and the inner desires that they are hesitant or unwilling to surpass. This process helps the \"m\" break their own boundaries. Each breakthrough fully satisfies the threshold for physical pleasure. This continuous process of exploration and breakthroughs generates excitement and pleasure. Thus, it seems like the \"s\" has control, but in essence, the \"m\" is still in control, and the \"s\" suppresses their own desires. An \"s\" who disregards the \"m's\" preferences and solely seeks to fulfill their own desires is an inadequate \"s.\" This may also be one of the reasons for your pain. As for your question about your answers, from a single sentence, it is evident that you desire contact from the other person, indicating that you lean towards being compatible. In conclusion, there is no qualification of being suitable or not, only whether or not it is a good fit. Lastly, I hope you won't be troubled anymore, and remember that the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Yes, that's right. I'm also not sure if I am an 's'. I haven't made any attempts. Girls have more opportunities to try it out. Every person can experience a slight pleasure in inflicting or receiving abuse. Girls should still be cautious because the other person has some information about you. You need to be alert. What you're struggling and caring about are these things. It seems like you are being passive and there is no secure SM relationship. This is my understanding.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't really understand why people feel the need to label themselves, to define who they are. Will it make them feel more secure inside? I just want to take a look at your relationship from a relational perspective. We met online, and when we met in person, I found that he gets angry easily and tends to take it out on you. If you can handle it, then your relationship might be okay. But if you can't handle it, you'll slowly get trapped in the emotions. So, have you ever asked yourself, what are you getting from this relationship? Is it what you initially pursued?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21126
       },
       {
        "question": "A sixth-grade girl returns home very late. My aunt is seeking help from me, how can I assist her?",
        "description": "My cousin is in the sixth grade. Recently, she often comes home around 10 PM. Her parents often argue, and my aunt turned to me for help. How can I help her?",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth, child growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Children in sixth grade have entered puberty and have their own resistance and challenges to their parents. This often manifests as a sense of alienation from their parents, especially for boys. If parents argue frequently, the child will be the biggest victim, surrounded by various negative emotions such as fear, anger, and worry. Therefore, it is normal for them to want to escape from this home, staying out late or not coming home at all. Girls growing up in such unloving families are most easily deceived by men. There are many difficult places for teenagers at night, and it is very dangerous for a girl to be outside late at night. They often make bad friends and can be harmed or corrupted. Your aunt is seeking your help and she can only see that the child is coming home late, so she can sense the risk, but she does not know about the mental torment the child is experiencing at home. You can first tell her to put herself in your cousin's shoes, experience the feeling of constant quarreling between parents, and help her understand the child's hardship in order to restrain their behavior as a couple, argue less, and create a harmonious and warm family atmosphere. When the family atmosphere is harmonious, the child will naturally be willing to come home. However, this alone is not enough because your cousin has grown up in an environment where their parents constantly argue and has already endured significant psychological trauma. You can tell your aunt and uncle to sit down as a family and have a meaningful conversation. The parents should sincerely express their inner feelings to the child and apologize sincerely for not providing such a nurturing environment, in order to earn your cousin's understanding and forgiveness. Then, talk to the child slowly about the danger of staying out late and advise her to come home early at night.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Many times, home should be a warm haven, but when it is filled with arguments, many people may slowly start to escape. The child is already in sixth grade and has his own judgment on some matters, such as coming home late. I wonder how the parents handled it when it first happened. If the child didn't say anything the first time it happened, and the parents just kept scolding and even argued with each other about it, blaming each other for not taking care of the child, the focus which should have been on where the child went, later extended to mutual complaints. We all know that when we encounter something that is troublesome and beyond our control, we often choose to escape. So when children see that their family is always full of conflicts, they may want to leave this family. If at that time we could sit down and talk with the child, telling them that although public safety is relatively good now, she still doesn't have enough ability to protect herself, so sometimes it's better to let the parents know in advance if she will be coming home late. Parents won't interfere with everything the child does, but hope that the child can inform them of her whereabouts, so that parents can pick her up in time. Sometimes we need to think from a different perspective, and children also need understanding and support from their parents. We can suggest that aunt first figure out what the arguments are really about. If the same problem has been argued countless times without a resolution, then both sides need to reflect and find the root cause of the problem in order to solve it. After both parties have stabilized their emotions, they should find a time to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with the child. If necessary, they can apologize to the child, letting the child know that adults also make mistakes, as long as both parties realize it and can correct it. If the child still refuses to communicate, we can also chat with the child and see what has happened to her recently and what we can do. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Analysis from Tan Yang: \n1. Every problem a child has can be traced back to their parents, so when parents discover that their child is coming home late, they should first reflect on whether there is a problem with their family education. Are they too busy working and neglecting to accompany their child?\n2. \"How can I help her?\" Tell your aunt not to just scold her child all the time, but to spend more time with and communicate with her child. Maybe because they are usually dominant, your cousin doesn't confide in them at all. At this time, find someone who gets along well with your cousin and have a deep conversation with her. Find out the reason for her late return, and that will be good.\n3. Let your aunt and uncle argue less, or don't argue in front of the child. Parents' arguments, emotional discord, and domestic violence have a huge impact on children. So instead of scolding the child, it's better to reflect on oneself. Your cousin's biggest problem is lack of love. And companionship is the best love. Thank you for your question, and may all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, it's best that you ask your cousin why she came back so late and explain the whole situation clearly. Also, advise your aunt not to blame her too much and clarify everything. Most likely, the main reason is still a quarrel. Anyway, ask your cousin first, and you should know what's going on. Do what you should do, speak nicely to both sides, haha, advising others to reconcile means running back and forth and saying good things about each other. If she has been frequently going out in the past year, do you know this frequently from her parents or did they tell you? Investigate this matter thoroughly before giving advice, don't believe everything from either side.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope this answer can give you some help. My advice is the same as other responders, first ask the child about the reason for coming home late. When asking, it is important to stay calm and composed, as sixth graders may have some rebellious tendencies. Additionally, the parents' arguments may be a significant reason why she doesn't want to come home. Home should be a safe haven, and nobody wants to come home to arguments. Therefore, helping to resolve her parents' issues is also part of the solution.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Don't let the child know that it was your aunt who asked you for help. In case the child finds out, they may not tell the truth. You can tell the child that it has been raining outside these days and they should come home early, or have the child's mother tell them in the morning that she has cooked their favorite dishes for dinner, and to come home early after school to shower and eat. Ask the child if they have a lot of homework lately, or if their grades haven't been good, which is why they are coming home late. Explain that going out at night with other kids also worries their parents. Try to prevent the child's parents from arguing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17267
       },
       {
        "question": "Bought a small table to put on the bed, feeling anxious when seeing others studying, what should I do?",
        "description": "I have a small table on my bed that I usually use for studying. When my roommate started school, she bought a table curtain to block it off and then she also bought a table for her own bed. I can see her studying underneath from the gap when I go up and down the bed, and even hear the sound of her flipping through books after eleven o'clock at night when the lights are off. It feels like she's studying all the time and rarely engages in any leisure activities. When I see this, I start feeling anxious. Although my grades are slightly better than hers, I still feel defensive towards her. So now I study secretly as well, but whenever I hear the sound of her flipping through books on her bed at night, I can't help but feel restless. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxiety, and emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear asker, sending you a comforting hug~ I completely understand your thoughts. Maybe you can show concern about whether studying for long periods without taking breaks is harmful to her health. Then find an opportunity to chat with her and listen to her perspectives on studying. Your care might break the cycle of not communicating and make your interactions more natural and harmonious. Suggestion analysis one: Suspicion caused by lack of communication. I believe it is normal for roommates to compare their grades because we all have a competitive spirit. It is the lack of communication that fills the relationship between roommates with suspicion. If we casually complain in the dormitory like, \"Ah, I studied for a long time today, so tired\" or \"X, I'm feeling thirsty, going to pour some hot water, do you want a cup too?\" or \"I just found out that this study website has a lot of resources, I'll send you the link\", showing appropriate concern will make roommates feel at ease. Many things are imagined solely by you, so the dormitory atmosphere becomes tense. I think your roommate is probably also startled, not knowing what you're thinking. Suggestion analysis two: Cooperative learning leads to further progress. According to your description, \"I feel like she is studying all day long, so now I am secretly studying too.\" It seems that many people like to work hard on their own and silently move towards a direction. However, from elementary school to middle school to high school and college, the higher the level of institutions, the more open and cooperative the attitude towards learning becomes. For example, for scientific research, having a team is crucial. If you have high goals and want to pursue further education in a prestigious institution, learning to cooperate is the first thing you need to prepare for. When you and your roommate can help each other and progress together, your efficiency will increase. Then, you can discuss many things, such as not having to study day and night or avoiding conflicts between studying and resting time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5632
       },
       {
        "question": "My boyfriend secretly went to the internet cafe to play games without telling me and lied to me saying he was working overtime. What should I do?",
        "description": "He has been going to play games constantly in the past few days, not just once. The last time he went to play games, he went to the internet cafe and played for half an hour before he couldn't resist telling me. Tonight, he finished work at six and didn't come home directly. Instead, he went to the internet cafe in the neighborhood to play games until 9:30 p.m. and claimed that he finished work at that time. I always thought he was working hard and prepared dinner for him, waiting for him to come back. Tonight, I saw his phone and got really angry. I feel like it's not about him playing games, but about him lying to me. Because I have never cared about him playing games, I just asked him to go to the internet cafe less often since we have a computer at home. Also, the reason I'm angry is that I worked hard to make him dinner, and he went to play games behind my back and came back saying he was tired from work. So how should I get along peacefully with him?",
        "keywords": "Dating, arguments, relationship management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I am very angry. I feel like it's not just about him playing games, but I'm angry because I worked hard to cook for him, and he went to play games behind my back and came back saying he was so tired from work. So how can I get along with him peacefully? Hello! Can you try to think from his perspective? If it's possible to play games at home, why does he insist on going to internet cafes? Try to communicate with him and explain that you don't mind him playing games, but you do mind him going to internet cafes to play games. Promise not to interfere if he plays games at home. Make it clear to him that you are angry when he lies and deceives you, and that there will be food waiting for him if he comes home from work, but no food if he goes to play games. The best way to get along with him peacefully is to communicate well, express your thoughts and needs, and understand and meet each other's needs.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2530
       },
       {
        "question": "I am 16 years old and a sensitive and melancholic person. Do I have depression?",
        "description": "I am sixteen years old. Ever since I got a tablet, I always feel very down. I am a sensitive person and often have thoughts of suicide, wondering if I am worthless. I had an argument with my mom today and with my little brother yesterday. I feel very irritable and my tears always uncontrollably fall. I never seem to make progress in my studies, always being discouraged by others. I feel really bad, I think I have depression. I am losing a lot of hair when I scratch my head, but I'm too scared to tell my parents that I'm feeling very sad.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, depressive emotions, emotional intelligence, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader. From your description, I can feel your emotions. You have bravely taken the first step by expressing your feelings on this platform and describing them in such detail. No matter how bad you are feeling right now, you are already moving towards a better place, and it shows that your inner strength and courage are sufficient. It seems that you have not reached the level of severe depression but are just unsure about how to deal with certain issues. At 16 years old, you have so much ahead of you. This age is something many of us wish we could go back to. Perhaps you can focus more on the things you like and are interested in. You mentioned that your mood deteriorated after getting a tablet, so perhaps you can consider putting it away and living as you did before. You mentioned that you think you are not good and lack confidence. This is called self-efficacy in psychology. At 16 years old, you still have countless opportunities to prove yourself. If you haven't even tried yet, how can you easily dismiss yourself? If you want to improve and become better, you should first become optimistic. Only when you are optimistic will you have the motivation to do things well. If you are not progressing in your studies, consider whether your study methods are incorrect or if you need to put in more effort. Believe that you can improve your grades. Lastly, regarding your relationship with your family, it is normal for teenagers to have some conflicts with their families during adolescence. However, no matter what, you must believe that parents do not want to harm their children, they are just trying to guide them based on their own experiences and help them avoid unnecessary mistakes. Try talking to them more and sharing your thoughts and feelings. I believe they will be willing to listen. There are many people in this world who love you, and many people waiting for you to love them back.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can bring you some insights. I understand your feelings very well because each of us has experienced such a low point in life. It's okay to allow ourselves to have these sad emotions, and at the same time, we should accept them. It's already great that we can acknowledge our emotions. Now the next step is to figure out what to do (#^.^#) Regarding hair loss, reducing anxiety and getting enough sleep may help improve the situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20793
       },
       {
        "question": "If I were to kill everyone who has wronged me, what would happen?",
        "description": "There are always people intentionally causing trouble, speaking in a sarcastic manner. What would happen if I were to kill all those who provoke me?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, if you killed everyone who has wronged you, it would not only destroy them, but also destroy yourself. If this revenge requires you to sacrifice your own life, do you think it's worth it? At least in my opinion, it is definitely not worth it. If someone is causing trouble and speaking in a sarcastic manner, can't you just stay away from these people? Out of sight, out of mind. It's really that simple. If they really cross the line and disturb you, you can choose to call the police and let them handle it. Not everyone is like this, so stay away from unfriendly people and seek out those who you can get along with, who share common topics and interests. Go enjoy the beauty of life and stay away from these unpleasant things. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18886
       },
       {
        "question": "A 15-year-old girl, after one month in high school, is still not adjusting well and is feeling depressed and anxious.",
        "description": "In the past, I was always happy and had an optimistic mindset. However, in high school, everyone around me was unfamiliar and the environment was unfamiliar. Moreover, it's far from home and I can't go home every day. Slowly, in this month, I feel very sad and uncomfortable. I also start to feel nervous when communicating with others. While they have happy smiles, I have no desire to smile at all. Every day, I put on a brave face and try to smile, but deep inside, I feel very sad and unable to control it. I also want to cry. I try to encourage myself to change the current situation, but I feel like I have more and more problems and I feel a bit hopeless. I feel like I don't frown, but my brow hurts every day. I don't know if it's a psychological effect, but I can't overcome this feeling. Slowly, even when I go home during the holidays, I can't be happy or cheerful. There is something weighing on my heart and it feels really painful. I want to know if the respondent has any solutions. Sigh.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social adjustment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~~~ When I first started high school, I also went through a period of feeling sad because I wasn't used to it. This might be a phase that everyone goes through in life, and your friends might also be feeling the same way, so there's no need to worry. It seems like in an unfamiliar environment, we might not be able to do the things we want or say the things we want freely, and it's also difficult to immediately have close friends like we did in middle school. Everything seems different from what we imagined, and new challenges have emerged, challenges outside of our comfort zone. My advice is: realize that you are not the only one with these emotions, don't be nervous about communicating with others, everyone has just started high school, and we are all in a relatively unfamiliar environment. So, dare to make friends and be each other's warmth. You can also take the initiative to get to know others, maybe you will make lifelong friends in high school. And talk to your friends or family about your thoughts. Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it every day, you might find it difficult to see the beauty in life. So, it's okay to talk to your family about your troubles. And besides, it's time for holidays, you can go home and adjust your emotions during this time.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 29,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 29,
            "end": 168,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 168,
            "end": 222,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 222,
            "end": 277,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello young girl, first of all, congratulations on entering high school life. I can totally understand your feelings because I have also gone through high school and experienced the same worries and emotions as you. The world loves you and is with you. In this stage, you are embarking on a new learning journey, making new friends, facing greater academic challenges, and also preparing for college entrance exams, which undoubtedly brings more pressure than before. I think your current feelings may come from various factors. Firstly, the pressure of academic competition has increased. Maybe you performed very well in middle school, but in high school, you will find that there are many friends who are just as good as you academically, which gives you an inexplicable sense of competition. Secondly, you have a strong sense of self-esteem, and you hope to quickly fit into this new social environment. However, various invisible factors related to self-esteem may hinder you from fully integrating. Consequently, you cannot be completely happy because there is pressure when making friends and it's difficult for these friendships to feel natural. This uncomfortable feeling will also affect your learning state and academic performance, as well as your communication with friends, self-esteem, and confidence. My advice is to first focus on your studies and set aside the concern of making friends and fitting in. Concentrate on steady academic progress, which will boost your self-esteem and confidence. Once you have excelled academically, friends will naturally be attracted to you. For example, by seeking help and asking questions, your self-confidence will gradually build up. You can then slowly integrate into your friend circle without feeling burdened by excessive pressure. I wish you a wonderful and happy high school life! Go for it! ^0^~",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, minder! Here's a warm hug for you! Entering a new phase of life: high school, a new and unfamiliar environment, unfamiliar people, and being far away from home with no possibility of returning. On top of that, there are new courses. Right now, you are facing four challenges, which can cause feelings of sadness, discomfort, despair, and even physical symptoms like headaches. It's normal to experience these maladaptive symptoms. Don't worry or be afraid. Facing challenges is not scary. Let's conquer them one by one. You can analyze and find the areas where you can adapt and change the most. For example, if you are good at making friends, you can start by finding a good friend in your class. Both of you can support each other in studying and share your inner emotions. Similarly, if you have good study skills, pay more attention to the learning content and strive to complete your daily homework with high quality. It's normal to feel sad and want to cry during the adaptation process. Let's accept it together. Cry if you want to cry, laugh if you want to laugh. It's also a simple and effective way of release. Not being able to go home has pros and cons. It helps foster your independence, laying a solid foundation for better adaptation to society in the future. The cons may include not being able to see your parents or eat the food they cook. But you can do that on weekends. It's just a matter of waiting a few days, which can also help improve your patience. You can also call your parents when you miss them but can't go home. Talk to them about your performance at school and express your yearning for them. Don't worry, don't feel sad. Believe that you will soon become the happy and cheerful self you used to be. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, congratulations on becoming a high school student and entering a new environment. Although this environment may feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable, it is a fresh start for you. Here, you can make new friends. You are just adjusting to a new environment, and it's natural to feel a bit out of place. Some people naturally adapt quickly, while others, like you, may take some time to warm up. You need to regain your confidence and believe that you can adapt to the new environment. You can take the initiative to care about friends who have shown interest in you, and actively make new friends. Gradually adjust your mindset and tell yourself to smile every day. A girl who smiles often is never unlucky. I wish you a happy and quick adjustment to the new environment and making new friends.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Congratulations on strengthening another ability. You can now be independent. You have already persevered for a month. There will always be changes and challenges in different stages of life, and we must learn to adapt. If you can't adapt now, in the future, you will have to leave home for college, and there are also opportunities for studying abroad at Tsinghua University and Peking University. Do you want to keep crying all the time? Or perhaps being too sheltered by family. You must learn to be strong! Otherwise, even if you enter society, you will still be bullied by others.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8072
       },
       {
        "question": "Online self-evaluation scores indicate moderate depression. Should I go to the hospital? How should I talk to my parents about this?",
        "description": "In school, I am constantly dissatisfied with my parents' expectations for my grades. I can only talk to a few people, and sometimes I deeply regret what I have done. I feel nervous when interacting with people I don't usually have much contact with, and sometimes I feel very uncomfortable. I engage in self-harm behavior, have trouble sleeping, and I am currently disappointed in myself. Should I go to the hospital?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, psychological assessment.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the questioner ~ I think depression should still be seen in a hospital, but online tests may not be accurate. If you want to tell your parents, I have a few methods: Firstly, you can describe your symptoms when you are in a better condition, so they will know that you are really depressed and not just avoiding studying. (Speaking slower can make you appear more sincere ~) Secondly, if unsuccessful, you can explode without hurting yourself. Your parents may be very angry: \"Why are you making trouble out of nothing? Did I mistreat you?\" If your parents love you very much, they may tell you to cheer up, persevere, and say things like \"We haven't mistreated you, what do you have to worry about?\" The probability of your parents taking you to the hospital is very low because this world has a deep misunderstanding of depression. If seeking help from the outside world doesn't work and you still feel depressed, I recommend: * listen to music * practice meditation * exercise more. I hope this helps. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How to talk to parents? How to broach this topic? Honestly tell them that recently you have been feeling very low, uninterested in things, and have been feeling depressed. You took a test online and found out that it is moderate depression. You feel like you have lost the ability to be happy, like you have entered a low point in your life, and you feel very miserable, struggling every day in a quagmire. You searched online and learned that depression is not just a psychological phenomenon, but also a problem with the secretion of brain hormones that needs to be controlled with medication, so you need to go to the hospital to check if you are sick. If your parents don't believe you and think you're making a big deal out of nothing, then mention a few tragedies of people who have committed suicide due to depression. Make them realize the seriousness of the problem, that you are not joking, everything you said is true, and this is a very serious matter. Hope that they can also take it seriously, and if they still don't believe or refuse to take you to the hospital, then find a trusted relative. If that doesn't work either, then you have no choice but to secretly go by yourself. Show them the test results with black text on a white background, they can't possibly not believe it, they can't deny that your depression has nothing to do with them. Finally, there is a book, there was a movement online called \"Happily Dead!!!\" by Jenny Rosen (the following content is from the internet. Copyright infringement, delete). I am at a low point in my life, but now I am happily dead! Jenny, a depression patient, wrote her story of living with loneliness and pain in a book. She collects every moment of happiness crazily and uses them to fight against every bad day. In this book, there are funny conversations with her psychiatrist, interesting daily stories with her family and stuffed raccoons, as well as humorous and touching scenarios that exist in her mind. Since high school, Jenny has begun her long depression journey. During this time, she has experienced various tortures caused by depression - long-term insomnia and restlessness, making Jenny increasingly haggard; sometimes, because of emotional instability, she cannot get out of bed for a week; when there are many people, she cannot control herself and hides in the bathroom or under the table; she is simultaneously suffering from more than a dozen mental illnesses, all those mental illnesses you have heard of or haven't heard of, she has experienced them all - depression, anxiety disorder, impulse control disorder (which can cause self-harm), avoidant personality disorder (severe social anxiety disorder), self-loss disorder (similar symptoms to being high), and mild OCD. What is even more heartbreaking is that Jenny mentioned in the book that sometimes her small achievement is simply \"not self-harming for the past three days\"... This terrible state lasted for many years. Until one day, one of Jenny's friends unexpectedly passed away. But this time, Jenny did not feel angry or shattered. She wrote in her blog: even if it's purely retaliating against the world, make oneself \"happily crazy!\" So, Jenny launched a grand movement on Twitter: the globally popular \"Happily Dead\" also became the most popular philosophy of life at the moment. She encouraged all depression patients to collect every moment of happiness crazily and use them to fight against every bad day. Under Jenny's call, within a few hours, the \"Happily Dead\" campaign became popular all over the world. Whether it's depression patients in a low point of life or more and more ordinary people, they all joined this movement! The value of this book lies in the fact that the pessimistic tide of depression seems unable to flood Jenny's levee. Although we can faintly feel the surging undercurrent of emotions in her book, she is working hard to overcome it. She turns regular psychological counseling sessions into funny conversations with her psychiatrist, turns the fantasies caused by depression into humorous skits, and even turns self-harm into amusing daily routines. She tries her best to turn her tragic life into a happy version, despite the continuous bleeding and pain.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you, feel sorry for you. The online test can be referenced, but if the result shows moderate, it means there are already some issues and you should see a doctor. Depression is actually like getting a cold or fever in our body. It's just that one is in the body and the other is in the brain. It means that the brain is sick, and there has been a small change in a certain part of the brain. Well, it's actually normal. Our bodies get sick, so it's natural for the brain to get sick too. Some hormone imbalances can cause a lack of interest and result in depression. Also, the negative impacts from real-life experiences affect the mind, causing depression. Psychology and the brain influence each other. Since there is a problem in the brain, which is a physical issue, it naturally needs a physical solution, which is seeing a doctor. Let the doctor take a look and determine if medication is needed. What medication is needed? Adjusting the hormone secretion will do it. Sometimes, when you have a cold or fever, you need to go to the hospital and get medication, right? Of course, after solving the physical issue in the brain, the negative impacts from real-life still need to be addressed. Parents care more about grades than they care about you. Because of this, you have generated anxiety and pressure, wanting to receive their love and care. You don't have many friends you can chat with, feeling like nobody understands you. There is a lack of friends with whom you can have deep conversations, and a lack of emotional support from family and friends. Both family love and friendship, these two important intimate relationships, haven't provided you with much positive emotional support. People are social animals, living in groups, and need emotional connections. But if there is a lack of it, a person will feel lonely and may even develop some issues. To solve the problem, we need to take action. The root cause of the problem is what? How does the problem manifest? What do you want but not get? Ask yourself these questions, and you should have answers. Speak out, let your parents know, let them know that their way of doing things has had a negative impact on you. If they love you and sincerely want the best for you, they will gradually change. Family environment is not something that can be changed quickly or easily. Long-established behavior patterns are not easily changed. But if efforts are made, both you and your family, there is a possibility of change. \"Know yourself\" is an eternal topic for us. What kind of person are you? How have your family and parents influenced you? Understand why you got sick. How can you get better? You can read articles on public accounts, books, watch videos, listen, etc. This step is about gaining more information related to yourself and helping yourself make behaviors that are beneficial to you in the present and in the future. And friends, you need to overcome your own obstacles. Depression can make you lose interest in many things, and this might manifest as a social anxiety. You need to overcome this barrier in your mind because nobody else can do it for you. A few days ago, I learned a lesson. When I wanted to retreat or give up, when I wanted to stay in the comfort zone and not come out, when I hesitated: think about what you truly want? Anything other than that is a trap. Don't let the trap deceive you, don't let the trap win. Both real-life friends and online friends can help. In fact, it's sometimes easier to confide in online strangers because there's no burden, unlike in real life. Precisely because they're strangers and because there's a screen separating us, neither party knows each other, so we can only perceive the person through their words, removing many real-life factors, and only seeing the version of themselves that they want to present online. Well, the Internet can also be deceiving, so don't be fooled. It's true that the Internet requires less effort compared to real life, but this only applies in the short term. Online friendships rarely last, which means that the provision of emotional support might not be as long-lasting. If you just want to vent for a moment, it's okay to find an online friend or use an anonymous platform. But the quality of the emotional support is what matters most, and it's best to have a long-term and stable relationship. In this aspect, real life is more likely to last than online relationships. Well, I have said so much just hoping to help you, even if it's just a little bit.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 21768
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I expose my child who is in the second year of junior high school for cheating on the exam again tonight?",
        "description": "I discovered that my 8th grade child is copying answers for homework and cheating in online exams. I have talked to him, scolded him, and tried to reason with him many times, and he always promises to change. But tonight, I found out that he copied the answers for the physics test from the teacher's message in the parent group chat and wrote them on his notebook. I don't know if I should expose him now, and I don't know how to deal with him.",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth, child growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear! Whether you catch your child cheating on assignments or exams \"on the spot\" or \"discover it secretly behind their back\" will determine how you approach and educate them about not cheating and make them aware of the seriousness of cheating. If it's the former, you can directly guide and educate your child not to cheat, helping them realize the gravity of cheating. If it's the latter, avoid direct confrontations or conflicts with your child. During their 8th-grade year, children are usually going through an adolescent rebellious phase, so generating emotional conflicts may not be conducive to resolving the issue of cheating or forming their personality during this period. First, try to understand why your child is cheating instead of criticizing them outright. If it is due to high expectations, many parents tend to have high expectations for their children, and in such cases, children may seek shortcuts in their studies. At times like these, parents can appropriately lower their expectations to avoid imposing excessive psychological pressure on their children's studies. Comparing children's academic performance is a good thing as it enhances competitive awareness among classmates and helps foster a desire to study. However, this should be based on a \"formal\" competitive system. Inform your child that the purpose of learning is not solely to achieve a specific result but that learning is an endless process. Encourage them to face problems rather than ignore them. Learning is a gradual process, building upon one step at a time. Positively guide your child about the seriousness of cheating, encouraging them to actively tackle the problem instead of attempting to deceive others by putting up a false display of \"perfect scores.\" Solution: Regularly supervise your child's study progress If you notice signs of your child ignoring problems, you can allocate regular time frames to supervise their study progress. It could be checking their daily progress every evening or conducting weekly assessments, etc. Divide the semester into segments and conduct periodic assessments for subjects in which your child has cheated. Positively guide your child about the seriousness of cheating Engage in discussions with your child about the topic of \"academic cheating.\" This topic is important for your child's growth and can be combined with real-life news cases to help guide your child to distinguish between cooperative learning and cheating. During conversations with your child, who is going through the rebellious stage of adolescence, they may appear irritable and impatient. Avoid emotional conflicts, control your own emotions, and calmly discuss these issues with your child. During the adolescent stage, children exhibit distinct characteristics and have their own thoughts and opinions. They do not want to be constrained by other people's thoughts, including their parents' advice, even if it is for their own good. It is difficult for them to listen carefully to their inner thoughts. Allow rebellious children to make mistakes, as this is a crucial period for them to form their own convictions. It is natural for them to make small mistakes. Do not overly restrict their freedom unless the problem is very serious or beyond your ability as parents, as long as it does not involve illegal activities. Let them face and solve some problems on their own instead of telling them what they \"cannot do\" or \"should not do.\" Adolescents often realize the correctness of their own convictions through making mistakes.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "What a coincidence, my child is also in the eighth grade and has had similar behavior, so when I saw your question, I wanted to share my experience. 1. Children of this age group are more sensitive, so it is not recommended to directly confront them. 2. Repeated preaching can cause children to rebel, and using physical punishment is even worse, it will only strain the parent-child relationship and make them less likely to listen to you. 3. Understand the reason why they plagiarized, whether it's because they are having difficulty with their studies or because they feel overwhelmed by academic pressure and are trying to escape. Once you understand the situation, you can find the appropriate solution. If it's the former, find ways to help them overcome their academic difficulties. If it's the latter, find ways to help them relax and take a breather. 4. Regardless of which method you choose, the premise is that parents should genuinely respect their children and establish a good parent-child relationship, keeping communication channels open. Of course, this is sometimes difficult to achieve in families with middle school students. My family also experiences frequent conflicts, but I always remind myself that caring for my child is not just about their grades, but also about their mental health. This is the most important responsibility as a parent. These are just my humble thoughts, I hope they can be of help to you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7407
       },
       {
        "question": "Every time my father finishes drinking, he starts to mumble and say all sorts of nonsense.",
        "description": "My dad is fond of drinking alcohol. Every time he drinks, he ends up arguing like he wants to pick a fight. It's really annoying, and he can't quit drinking. I can't move out either. What should I do? Every time he drinks, I feel so frustrated, like something is stuck in my heart. The fights my parents had when I was young left a deep emotional scar on me. Now, whenever I see people arguing or speaking loudly, I want to run away, I'm afraid. When he's not drinking, he's actually a good person. Sometimes, I really want to leave this place, or even this world.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, growth process, behavioral disorders.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, if you're feeling really depressed, you can go out for a walk and relax. From your words, I can tell that you're frustrated, and I can also feel your love for your dad. You must be a very kind person, shouldering a lot of responsibility. But don't put too much pressure on yourself. You only need to fulfill your duty of taking care of your parents when they are old. If there are things you can't change, just let them be. Sometimes life can feel difficult all of a sudden, and I feel the same way as you. But when I think about how young we still are, I feel that we shouldn't give up on life. We should live well and live with purpose, because one day we will also meet someone who loves us and experience the happiness of life. Keep going, things will definitely get better.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ~ Thank you for the invitation ~ I understand your feelings very well, as I have had similar experiences. Hugs to you ~ I remember that whenever they argued, someone would be intoxicated and not in their right mind. When things were normal, they were able to negotiate calmly, but when they were drunk, they would say a lot of inexplicable things. It wasn't until later that I realized it wasn't his fault, it was the alcohol's. I once tried to persuade my father to quit drinking, but failed time after time, and eventually learned to accept this fact. Occasionally, he still says a lot of annoying things when he's drunk. My way of comforting myself is very simple and rough - I secretly decided that when he's drunk, I will pretend not to know him. I won't care whether he's arguing with someone or what he's saying. In that moment when he's drunk, I see a stranger with a flushed face, talking about things I'm not interested in, and I just focus on doing things I enjoy. The result is that at least I don't feel anxious. Perhaps drinking really is a source of happiness and importance for them, so it would be somewhat selfish to try to deprive them of this right. When he's drunk, it is best and simplest for both of us to keep some distance. Best wishes ~.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 13850
       },
       {
        "question": "Liked the boss and set boundaries due to misunderstandings, how to balance emotions and work?",
        "description": "I am bisexual and have a liking for my boss, so there is a certain level of ambiguity between us. Due to some issues and misunderstandings, we have set boundaries between us. However, we still have to work together, which makes me feel uncomfortable. How should I face her without being too affected by my emotions? I can't be purely professional, and I can't leave or resign from my job. I keep thinking about the feelings we have developed over the years. But facing her suddenly becoming distant, I feel abandoned. It's hard not to bring my emotions into it, and I often feel sad as if I have been let down. Going to work every day feels burdensome. How should I face her, adjust my mindset, and deal with work? (I hope to receive a rational answer)",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP. First of all, hugs to you. \ud83e\udd14 After trying to set boundaries with your boss, it seems like you still can't completely face her, indicating that you still care about her. You mentioned that there were misunderstandings and issues that caused the need for boundaries, but have both parties explained their sides clearly? If not, I suggest having a serious conversation with her. After all, you don't know what kind of emotions she still has towards you, and there might be a chance for a different outcome.\ufe0f If this approach still doesn't work and you can't quit, can you consider transferring to another department? It's not easy to quickly let go when you have to face her every day, so I recommend adjusting your mindset at work. After all, she is your superior, and you have to interact with her. If she can be cold towards you, you can also try to be a little indifferent, treating her like you would on any regular day. \ud83e\udd17 To let go of past feelings, the best way is to start a new relationship. After work, you can try socializing and meeting new people. Hope this can help you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Growth is about finding breakthroughs, changing paths, spiraling upward, and becoming a better self. My journey: I developed a romantic relationship with my superior. Certain events and misunderstandings shattered the ambiguity that existed before. The subsequent work had a profound impact on me. Faced with my boss's indifference, I felt abandoned and it greatly affected my work with my emotions. Trying to return to the previous relationship with my boss within my social circle caused emotional turmoil, making it impossible for me to focus on my work. Resigning is not an option for me, so I need to overcome this inner struggle with my boss and return to how things were before. Changing paths: Fully accepting the reality: I am still primarily unwilling to accept the fact that I have to separate from my boss. I must let go of these thoughts and not hold onto any fantasies or feelings of being abandoned or betrayed. Love is between two people and not about following someone. Therefore, I need to see through all of this and only when I fully accept this reality can I focus on my work. Focus on work: Since my boss is still my boss, I need to place my focus on my work, do it well, and approach my boss with a professional attitude, not a personal one. Fully accepting - Focus on work - Changing paths - Spiraling upward - Becoming a better self.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Since we have already set boundaries, let's first reflect on our own emotional paths. Due to the ambiguity between us and the other person, many things have not been truly discussed, and some boundaries have never been crossed. So we need to consider whether there will ultimately be a result between us and the other person. If there won't be a real result in the future, then it's better to be straightforward. It's better to let go of something we can't hold onto. Sometimes giving up is a kind of happiness, although it may be a bit reluctant in our hearts. But since it's no longer possible, we might as well be generous. As for work, although it can be awkward to meet sometimes, it's best not to mix work and personal life. The other person did not betray us, nor did they deliberately abandon us. It's just that misunderstandings have arisen and our relationship has reached an impasse. So we should focus more on other aspects, like going out and relaxing. If the other person is really unwilling to communicate with us, then there's no need for us to keep chasing after them. If they have lost their feelings, then let's focus on our own job and not burden ourselves too much psychologically. We can also talk to other friends. The world still loves me.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 14396
       },
       {
        "question": "29-year-old female, unable to stop crying when thinking about childhood memories, what should I do?",
        "description": "During the process of growing up, I was often criticized, blamed, suppressed, and belittled by my father. I was also frequently overlooked. As a result, I developed an introverted, sensitive, and insecure personality. I tend to be more pessimistic, and sometimes, when I think about my past, I can't help but cry. I feel very unjust and unable to move on from the childhood trauma. How should I adjust my suppressed emotions, release the burden of the past, and let it go???",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, growth process, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Being able to be aware of and feel the injustice experienced in childhood indicates personal growth and strength. Firstly, we should accept such feelings and allow them to exist, even though they may be painful. It is the feeling of hurt that we experienced in the past, and if we suppress the pain and deny it, it becomes a form of torture. There are parents who wrongly accuse or punish their children, causing the children to feel wronged. However, these parents do not allow their children to express anger or sadness, even forbidding them from crying, thus depriving the children of the ability to express and feel. Secondly, we should continually learn and grow, identify the problems and root causes of negative emotions, love and care for ourselves, and prevent ourselves from being hurt again. If the negative emotions are too severe and cannot be reduced, professional assessment, treatment, or psychological counseling may be needed from a specialized institution.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey, the questioner! Hello, sending you a hug~ After reading your description, it seems like you have been remembering some unpleasant things from the past recently, especially the unhappy experiences from your childhood, which are related to your father's \"oppressive education.\" I truly sympathize with what you have been through. You mentioned that your childhood experiences have had a great impact on you, causing you to often feel overlooked, introverted, sensitive, and insecure. It's evident that your family environment has had a significant influence on your personality. Your current unstable symptoms are largely due to the unpleasant and overlooked experiences from your childhood. So, if you continue to feel persistently troubled by sad emotions, you may need psychological counseling and seek help from a psychologist. Based on your description of how you sometimes can't help but cry when you think about your childhood experiences and feel unjust, it is possible that you haven't been able to forgive your father for mistreating you in the past, and every time you think about it, it overwhelms you with sadness. However, I suggest that you shouldn't engage in such negative rumination that harms both your body and mind. If you want to break free from this state, you need to change your mindset and stop repeating the experience of painful memories. You describe your childhood misery as a \"traumatic\" experience, indeed, this kind of psychological trauma deserves our attention. If you want to escape from the pain and regain a sense of normalcy in your life, it's necessary for us to heal the trauma. You can choose to seek help from a psychologist for psychological counseling or confide in the person you trust the most, allowing the suppressed emotions to be released.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2304
       },
       {
        "question": "An 18-year-old high school senior boy often gets teased by his classmates at school, and it's really exhausting.",
        "description": "Classmates always call me by my father's name and constantly mock me, but I haven't done anything to provoke them. They started bullying me only after a male student in our class who was often targeted by them transferred to another school. They always tease me, and a few days ago, they found out my family's phone number and started making harassing calls to them. I'm really tired and scared to fight back. I feel so helpless, isn't this considered campus violence? I really don't know what to do. I just want to peacefully finish the remaining 190 or so days of my senior year.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, roommates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey there, the subject. Hugs to you~ After reading your description, it seems like some classmates in your school have been mocking you. Not only that, they have also been bothering your family. It is clear that you are really troubled by this situation, and I truly sympathize with what you are going through. Based on your description, as a high school senior, you are being mocked and teased by your classmates during a time when you should be focusing on studying. Instead, you are being distracted by other matters. Considering that their actions have already significantly affected your studies and personal life, you have every right to hold them accountable. You can seek help from your parents and teachers. If we do not take this matter seriously ourselves and instead hope that those people will suddenly come to their senses, it will be difficult to resolve our problems. You mentioned that your family is being harassed with phone calls. You can take this opportunity to explain the situation to your family and let the adults handle it. Perhaps your individual efforts alone are not enough to help you break free from this predicament, and seeking external support will greatly improve the situation. You also mentioned feeling really helpless, and that this can be considered a form of campus violence. Indeed, this level of harassment can be classified as bullying, and it is something that deserves our attention.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1927
       },
       {
        "question": "Should college students not accept expensive gifts from friends due to their lack of financial independence?",
        "description": "I feel so tired recently. It's about some things regarding friends and studying. In a couple of days, it's my birthday, but actually, I have never received a birthday gift from anyone since I was little. Now that I'm in high school, my friends found out about my birthday and they want to give me gifts. As someone who has never received a gift before, I really want to receive one. So, I told my friend what I like, and a good friend of mine said she wants to give me a set of dresses. I was very happy at that moment because I really like dresses, and also because I have never received gifts before, so I agreed. But later on, I started feeling a bit sad and even scared. So, I asked another friend about it, and she said that we are all high school students now, and economically, we are not yet independent. It's still like using our parents' money. She told me not to accept it. I didn't know how it felt at that moment, maybe it was a mixture of fear and sadness. I feel like I'm strange. Receiving gifts is supposed to be a happy thing, but I feel sad and even scared about it. So, when the friend who wanted to give me the gift came to ask me about my dress size tonight, I suddenly didn't want it anymore, and I said I don't like it anymore. She was originally very happy, but then she suddenly couldn't speak and left. I don't know why I am scared. It's just tiring between friends. I really rarely receive things that others give me.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~ First, let me give you a warm hug. I totally understand how you feel. It's great that your friends want to give you a gift, and it makes you happy. However, another friend's comment has left you feeling anxious and self-blaming. Actually, it's not true that you can't spend money on gifts just because you're not financially independent. If the price is not too expensive, it's acceptable. After all, not every birthday gift has to be expensive. Also, parents would understand if you spend some money to buy a gift for a friend. They would probably want their child to have good friends, as long as the price is reasonable. But the most important thing is the intention behind the gift. In the future, you can make handmade gifts, which will show even more thoughtfulness. Additionally, I guess your previous words hurt your friend. I suggest talking openly with your friend, explaining your thoughts, difficulties, and concerns. Let her know that you didn't actually dislike the gift, but rather you were trying to protect her from spending money and getting scolded by her parents, which led to the lie. Lastly, I want to tell you that everyone has different perspectives. Don't let a few words from others hurt you. Of course, what your friend said also makes sense. She cares about you. However, you should still have your own beliefs and thoughts. It's best to discuss and clarify things with the people involved before making any decisions. I hope you and your friend can resolve the conflict and misunderstanding soon~ Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2504
       },
       {
        "question": "13-year-old girl, in recent years, always wants to escape from life, escape from the world?",
        "description": "I used to be a very innocent and naive little girl, but after entering junior high school, I came into contact with all kinds of people. I don't know why, but I started to become insecure. However, later on, I learned to face others in a seemingly carefree and cheerful way. Maybe my behavior was annoying, so many people started to criticize me. By the eighth grade, I wasn't as carefree anymore and became slightly quieter than before. But sometimes I still use a mask to cover myself, it's very painful. I once thought of ending my life, but I care about my parents. However, another thought came to my mind, that I would wait for them to pass away and then I could go too. Eventually, I gave up because of my older sister. I feel so tired, and I want to escape from life, to escape from the world. So I started thinking, can I create a second personality, someone smarter than me, to replace me and live on?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, developmental patterns, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I'm glad to answer your question. Based on your question, I understand that: 1) You were innocent before junior high school, but developed a sense of inferiority in junior high school. 2) You started wearing a careless mask, and later became quiet. 3) You had thoughts of wanting to die and wanted to escape from reality. According to the perspective of psychology, a person's fundamental personality is largely stable. In your description, the different aspects of yourself before and after junior high school actually indicate that your fundamental personality has not changed. It is your innocence that led to the distress of being afraid of being disliked. How should we understand this kind of innocent personality? Actually, we can say that you have a kind and pure perspective, expecting others to behave in a kind and pure way towards you. However, due to the complex reasons of personality and environment, others did not respond to you in the same friendly manner, which eventually led to the frustration and development of your inferiority complex, and the thought of wanting to die as a way to escape. Your fundamental nature is innocent, but because you care about others' opinions, you put on two different masks for the purpose of gaining positive evaluations from others. Therefore, overall, what you need to improve at this stage is not living for others and suppressing your own true needs to meet others' expectations. Actually, at this stage, you need to adjust your mindset and experience positive and optimistic emotions, in order to face the present and future difficulties. You also need to restore self-identity, be confident in yourself, in order to feel your own thoughts and needs, and put yourself first, thus completely breaking free from negative evaluations from others. Now, let's talk about the issue that is troubling you, whether or not your past behavior of wearing masks is right or wrong. Actually, this question makes you feel like you can't find the real you. First of all, according to psychology, people will wear different masks in different situations and environments in order to meet the needs of the environment and social interactions. So, wearing masks to face others is actually a normal and acceptable behavior, and not just for you, many people in reality also use masks. Therefore, you don't need to deny yourself because of this and deepen your sense of inferiority. Before, you used a careless personality which was disliked by others, and then you learned to be quiet. You need to have a clear understanding that none of this is your fault. The careless and quiet personality traits you exhibited were actually efforts made to have friendly interactions with others. However, for students of the same age as you, their minds are not yet mature enough to understand these efforts made for friendship. They only see the surface phenomena. So, you don't need to spend energy blaming anyone; this kind of blaming is not meaningful. What you need to do is to appreciate yourself and affirm your past behaviors. This will generate positive emotions to face future interactions and have a good mindset for future friends and classmates. The dilemma you are currently facing is whether or not to find a smart personality to replace yourself. In fact, what you imply is that you currently feel less intelligent. Perhaps this thought stems from failed interactions while wearing different masks. However, it can be seen that at this stage, you still have a strong need for companionship. This is something that should be encouraged and affirmed about yourself, and it further illustrates your innate kind and pure personality. Do you need to live with a smart personality? For the sake of your current psychological comfort, try not to create a personality that is significantly different from your innate kind and pure personality, as the discomfort caused by this difference will affect your mood. However, since you still want to have friendly interactions with others, a conclusion can be drawn: you can build upon your fundamental innocent personality and learn to face different environments by adding other personality strengths. In other words, you can still have a careless personality and a quiet personality, but you need to learn to differentiate the appropriate environment and the people you interact with, in order to experience positive emotions in interpersonal interactions. Generally speaking, when two individuals who have similar personalities first interact, they are more likely to get along well. Therefore, once you understand the general personality of the other person, learn to use your personality strengths. Moreover, according to psychology, sincerity is a quality that is more attractive in interpersonal interactions. Therefore, your innate innocent personality can be a resource for genuine interactions. Finally, I hope you are treated gently by the world!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Tired, just press the pause button for yourself, take a rest, take a break for a while, go home, and don't push yourself too hard. Dear, you started off feeling innocent and pure, but later on in middle school, you started feeling inferior. This is related to interpersonal relationships. As we gradually grow up, we will come into contact with more and more people, and we will encounter all sorts of individuals. If we don't adapt well to our environment, we need to adjust our mindset and adapt better. Based on the description, the choice of being carefree in order to adapt seems to have ended in failure and resulted in others criticizing you. Regarding the above description, as we grow up, our ways of thinking, abilities, cognition, and social skills all undergo changes, but what is the direction and nature of these changes? It varies from person to person, but overall, it should be about becoming more adaptable to our environment and more harmonious. However, if these changes suppress and make you feel inferior, then there is a problem with this direction. Suggestions for the questioner: 1. Communicate your confusion with your family and seek their help. 2. Communicate more with your good friends. 3. Find a psychologist. It is necessary to find a psychologist during this crucial phase of your life. You have your own worth and strengths, and you don't need to listen to others' evaluations. Keep up the good work!!!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17607
       },
       {
        "question": "Afraid of hurting my roommate who comes from a less privileged background by what I say, but also feel it's unnecessary and too sensitive?",
        "description": "I am a freshman girl and this is my first time living on campus. During high school, I was very focused on studying and didn't have much social interaction. Today, my roommates and I went out to eat together, and during the meal, we talked about each other's hometowns. My hometown is a city in a relatively unknown province, and one of my roommates suggested that we all visit each other's hometowns and stay at each other's houses. Although my hometown is a small city, my family's financial situation is relatively well-off, so I agreed. However, another roommate's family is not very well-off, and she has been quiet the whole time. I'm worried that our conversation might hurt her self-esteem. But then I feel like I'm being too sensitive. Later, we talked about the Western food we have eaten, and this roommate still didn't say anything. After returning to the dormitory, I isolated myself for a long time, not wanting to do anything. When I was younger, my family wasn't very well-off either. My parents borrowed money and didn't give me much pocket money, so I have been looked down upon and verbally hurt by others. Therefore, I am very sensitive in this regard. In the dormitory, whenever there's a money-related issue, I always try to take care of that roommate. I feel like I'm being too sensitive. I don't know why I was so upset when I returned to the dormitory, and I stayed upset for a long time, wasting a lot of time.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I think it's not autism, but rather silence. Everything you talk about is too far from her world. It's great to share your knowledge, but her family is not well off, and she is afraid of spending money and not fitting into your circle. Speaking of which, it's not a big deal to come from a poor family. She may have many interesting stories, but she just doesn't dare to speak up. She fears loneliness and going out, because she doesn't have money, and she's also afraid of being ridiculed. Maybe you just give a friendly smile, but these anxieties make that kind expression different. In fact, you don't always have to consider her feelings of not having money in conversations. Actually, being broke can also bring happiness. It's not necessary to go out and play together to get along well. If you can find other topics, she won't be so sensitive, and it seems that she dislikes you paying attention to her lack of money. We focus on different aspects of life, but there will always be common qualities. I think she comes from a poor family, but what she lacks even more is love. A child who lacks love wouldn't easily feel inferiority like this. In fact, good friends are easy to get along with. You can study together, take care of her in group orders, share your embarrassing stories, open up your hearts. Perhaps you will gain her trust and forming a close-knit group together is meaningful. Money will never hinder true friendship at any time, as long as both of you are willing, maybe you will be the best friends.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You have strong perceptiveness, sensitivity, and kindness. You project your emotions onto your roommate because you have been hurt by similar things or remarks before, so you wonder if she might also be hurt. Many people have suffered, but you have transformed that suffering into energy. Others may be naturally privileged and not pay attention to your roommate's distress at all, but your sensitivity has created your kindness. Whether in your daily life or in this conversation, you have shown enough respect and attention to your roommate, which is excellent. Why blame yourself? Moreover, material wealth or lack thereof is not the standard by which to judge a person. Do you think your roommate is pitiful? She definitely doesn't want sympathy like this, what she needs is respect. There are many people in the world who have never taken an elevator, eaten western food, traveled abroad, or even owned a cellphone or received an education. Are they pitiful? Think about the logic behind it. Our upbringing is beyond our control, so don't use the outside world to judge a person too much, and don't impose those values on yourself. This may be a criticism of contemporary society. I hope you can see more, be inclusive, and respect others. If you have the ability to do something, don't trouble yourself anymore. People who love life will eventually be rewarded! I hope both you and your roommate are people who love life. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20485
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old girls may resist others showing their liking and confessing their feelings towards them, and may want to avoid it.",
        "description": "From childhood to adulthood, I have always had good interpersonal relationships. Perhaps it is because of adolescence, but in the past few years, about 6.7 male friends who I had a good relationship with have confessed their feelings to me or made advances. I have resisted and even avoided many of them intentionally. Some I have directly blocked and deleted as friends. I don't know the reason, but I just can't control my emotions. I don't even know how to refuse, and all I can think of is how to escape. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Give you a big hug. I can really understand how you feel because I have had similar experiences. Resisting and avoiding when someone confesses their feelings to you may have the following reasons: difficulty expressing yourself and rejecting others. Perhaps you are not good at saying no and expressing yourself, so you don't know how to reject others. Sensitivity and self-protection. When someone tries to enter your world, you activate your self-defense mechanism and fear others' invasion. Afraid of feeling guilty if someone unilaterally invests in you. If the other person pursues you and makes efforts, you may feel indebted to them and unable to reciprocate. This is a self-defense mechanism and common behavior when dealing with interpersonal relationships. Here are some suggestions: Avoiding won't solve the problem, you can hint at the other person to make your stance clear. If you like someone, you can try to develop the relationship; if you don't, give the other person some indications and reject them tactfully. It's better to have a short-term pain than a long-term one. Avoiding is actually a vague response that can lead to misunderstandings. Don't drag it out for too long. The longer it takes, the harder it may be for the other person to move on, and it may also become more difficult for you to speak up. It wastes both the other person's time and your own, and the future relationship may become more awkward. Lastly, if someone likes you, it means that you have qualities that attract others and deserve their admiration. From this perspective, being liked by someone is actually a good thing. I hope you can face it boldly.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           },
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        ],
        "questionID": 10068
       },
       {
        "question": "When in psychological counseling, not daring to speak out about one's trauma can make one feel very ashamed.",
        "description": "Feeling ashamed of childhood trauma, every time I consider sharing it during counseling, I am too afraid to speak up. I know the therapist will keep it confidential and I trust them, but I just can't bring myself to say it. After sharing, I feel like running away and never coming back. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, trauma therapy, and the opportunity to express and be heard.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, I have gained some understanding of the question you want to ask, and I want to give you a virtual hug. From your description, I can see that you are feeling a bit anxious and conflicted. Your anxiety may stem from wanting to seek help through counseling to better resolve your issues, but also being afraid of exposing yourself too much. So, you hesitate to share certain thoughts that are hidden in your mind, doubting whether or not to discuss them with a counselor. If you were to express these thoughts and receive some reasonable explanations, I believe that many things would truly be released. However, if you were to express these thoughts and not receive any feedback from the counselor, it could potentially cause a second round of harm to you. As a result, you would hesitate about whether or not to speak up about certain things. In making decisions, we often consider them thoroughly. In reality, it takes a considerable amount of time for a counselor and client to establish a relationship and for the counselor to gain the client's trust, in order to better help the client resolve their problems. Therefore, regarding the idea of trauma that you mentioned in your description, whether or not to speak about it is your decision, and the counselor's role is merely to guide you. If you have already convinced yourself in your mind to share this matter, then go ahead and speak up. For you, it can be considered a kind of relief, because the longer something is suppressed in your mind, the greater the harm it will cause you. The reason why some things are difficult to articulate is because subjectively, we define these matters as shameful, and society's judgment of these matters also leads us to repress certain things, keeping them hidden in our hearts without expressing them. In reality, some traumas are not what we seek to experience, but are inflicted on us by others. We don't want them, and we shouldn't blame ourselves. The blame lies with those who cause us harm, or with the environment. So, for things that have already happened, we can gradually let go and reduce their impact on ourselves. With that, I have also summarized some methods to help alleviate your current situation: (1) Try to trust yourself and the counselor, as a good counseling relationship is essential for problem resolution. (2) Share your thoughts with someone close to you, further relieving your current emotions. (3) You can also keep a journal to record your emotions, allowing you to better observe their occurrence and development. (4) Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and at the same time, find ways to release this pressure when it becomes overwhelming. The world loves you, and I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this is really a confusing and difficult situation. I don't know why you entered into psychological counseling, but I wonder if the question you raised might also be a factor in seeking psychological help. Maybe you are not aware that this problem may be unconsciously troubling you. From a psychodynamic perspective, I will try to discuss some thoughts on this and see if it can bring you some reflections. Your description is not very long, but it contains rich content, especially the feelings triggered by conflicts. I don't know if you have felt anxiety, uneasiness, conflict, and fear? I found two conflicts. The first is the conflict between the desire to overcome the fear of shame and the avoidance of shame caused by fear, which is indeed a difficult choice. The second conflict is between doubt about the reliability of the counseling relationship and the denial of this doubt. You have used rationalization and justification to persuade yourself to trust the counselor, but of course, this cannot eliminate your doubts in your feelings, which may lead to even greater anxiety. I believe that psychological counseling is precisely working in these anxieties, uneasiness, and nervousness. Through the cooperation of the counselor and the visitor, we can discover the meaning behind the emotions, so that the visitor can see the truth. When the visitor allows oneself and dares to see the truth, the symptoms may fundamentally disappear. So, if possible, tell your counselor these real feelings happening inside you and discuss these feelings and the associations they evoke with the counselor. Perhaps there will be some new insights.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, the questioner needs to understand why they are seeking counseling. Just like going to the doctor when we are physically ill, psychological counseling is also aimed at healing certain problems. Therefore, it is necessary to disclose one's issues to the counselor. If you don't say anything, how can the counselor treat you? How can you recover and live a healthy life? When we have physical illnesses, we go to the doctor and need to expose ourselves, especially when it involves sensitive areas of pain. If we feel shy and don't let the doctor see, our illness cannot be treated. But when we can correctly see our own body and pain, we know that these are physiological problems and there is nothing to be shy about. Doctors see us just like they see an anatomical model, the human body structure is just a collection of knowledge points in their eyes. Only after overcoming this psychological barrier can you obtain healing. So when you feel very shy and want to hide away, think about your purpose, why are you seeking counseling? Is it to resolve your emotional burdens? Heal your traumas? Do you want to become more confident and resilient? If you have a goal, you can better overcome your psychological obstacles. Or if you currently don't have the courage, you can tell the counselor that you feel a lot of shame and although you want to share some things with them, you just can't do it yourself. You hope they can help you. Listen to how the counselor will guide and comfort you. A professionally competent counselor will help you slowly break free from your own emotional prison. Sometimes you feel ashamed because you are too hard on yourself. Your inner dialogue is too negative and you always blame and torment yourself, making the actual situation seem much worse than it really is. For example, some people were bullied when they were young, everyone called them stupid and they didn't have any friends. They feel ashamed, as if it was their own fault. But is that the reality? Isn't being bullied the fault of the bullies? Why should you shoulder this burden yourself? So you need to tell yourself that you haven't done anything wrong. Even if you were bullied, you are still a person with value and dignity. Other people's definitions of you and external standards cannot determine who you are. Only you have that right. Take it slow, gradually build your self-confidence, and healing yourself takes a little bit of courage. Tell yourself that there is nothing wrong, as long as you are clear in your heart, no one can make you feel ashamed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, let me share my thoughts and suggestions on this topic in order to hopefully help you. It is important to trust the professional ethics of a legitimate psychological counselor. Confidentiality is the most basic requirement. If you have chosen a legitimate psychological counselor with some experience, you can gradually build trust and relax yourself, fully immersing yourself in the counseling environment. Confidentiality is a principle that every legitimate psychological counselor will and must adhere to, and it may take some time for you to gradually accept this. Trust takes time to build, so don't rush it. The effectiveness may be compromised if you rush the process. Psychological counseling is divided into different sessions based on the severity of the psychological issue. The client needs to take the time to gradually describe their state, and the counselor needs to sincerely understand the client's issue and strive to empathize. Then, together, they can discuss how to solve the problem. This requires time and process, and sufficient trust is the basis for being able to speak freely. So take some time to adapt yourself and let both of you adapt. When trust reaches a certain level, many deep-seated thoughts will naturally be expressed. You can also change the counseling time, space, and other factors to achieve a comfortable and relaxed state. Perhaps you won't fear avoidance due to sharing. Different environments will affect the relaxation level of the client. Some people prefer evening, some prefer sunlight, some prefer a greater distance from the person they're talking to, and so on. These preferences are normal, as long as they help you relax. The most important thing is to clearly and thoroughly describe the problem, which will also help the counselor identify the problem and provide solutions and advice.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your psychological feelings. This is a fear of exposing the extremely sensitive part of your inner vulnerability and escaping from it. You think it will make you experience pain again, so you don't want to face it and expose yourself. My personal advice to you is to have courage to face your inner self and have a brave dialogue between your brave and vulnerable selves. Let your vulnerable self speak out all the negative emotions, worries, and shame, and let your brave self participate as well. You will realize that this is not a problem. A counselor is a helper who will walk into your soul with you, explore, discover, and provide solutions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the topic is the mental health counselor. Based on your description, I understand that you know the principle of confidentiality and trust that the counselor will abide by it. However, you still hesitate to speak about it due to two psychological reasons: (1) the significance of this trauma to you is immense, and from your own moral perspective, it is a secret that could create a huge impact, either resolving the issue or exposing it further, and you haven't balanced the relationship yet. (2) The relationship between you and your counselor is either lacking trust or has developed transference. Either way, the timing is not ideal at the moment. In summary, the timing is not right yet, and further exploration is needed. My advice is: (1) find the right timing to gradually discuss your moral beliefs related to the event. (2) Find an anonymous platform to initially share it secretly, and then treat your counselor as such a platform. (3) Wait patiently for the best moment; through conversation, many things naturally change for the better. That's all, wishing you a happy life and good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! I completely understand your feelings. For many people, childhood trauma is something they don't want to remember or disclose, and that's perfectly normal! If this trauma doesn't have a significant impact on your current life and is just a bad memory, then let it go. But if your past childhood trauma does affect your present life and you need to confront it and release it from your inner self in order to slowly achieve healing, then if you're unwilling to face yourself and disclose your inner pain in counseling, it means that you're not ready to release the pressure within and you're not prepared to express your narrative. At this point, try to empty your mind, trust the counselor's guidance, and dare to speak up. Don't overthink it! The past is already gone. It's like a malignant tumor in our bodies, and it's inevitable that removing it will be painful. But think about how liberating it feels to speak out. Why be nervous? Relax your body, take a deep breath, and follow the counselor's guided questions to express yourself truthfully! Don't make it too difficult for yourself. If you still can't speak up, try talking to a wall at home! See if you can express yourself and make it clear. In summary, if you want to maintain good physical and mental health, it's important to keep a positive state of mind and find joy in life, among other things!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your description, it seems unnecessary to force yourself in matters of privacy. In my opinion, either you are not mentally prepared yourself or the level of trust between you and the therapist has not reached a point where you feel comfortable disclosing such private matters. So, if the therapist can find a way to resolve or alleviate some of your psychological emotions, your desire to express yourself will naturally come about. The concern you have raised on this platform today is whether hiding certain highly private matters would have a significant impact on your psychological healing process. In fact, when you seek a therapist, it is already a state of mutual connection. You have the right to choose whether to tell them or not. Or perhaps you are wondering when it would be appropriate to share these things with them? These are decisions you can make. Have you ever thought about what you would do if you were to disclose these very private matters to them now and not achieve the desired results? Ultimately, it means that the relationship between you and the therapist has not progressed to that point, so there is no need to worry about it. Someday, when you feel ready to tell a certain therapist, you can go ahead and do so.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3202
       },
       {
        "question": "Do I have depression if I constantly hurt myself, feel worthless, and have suicidal thoughts?",
        "description": "Always unable to control hurting oneself. Feel worthless. Want to die. Experiencing hallucinations and hearing voices. Excessive sleepiness. Insomnia. Enjoy being in dark places.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-harm, hypochondria, avoidance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Hugs to you. When you feel like reading OP's words, OP is feeling very helpless right now. I don't know what disappointed or even desperate you. Our lives are given to us by our parents who raised us to adulthood. We also have so many friends and family members. If they know that you are constantly hurting yourself, they would be so sad. You should love yourself first and then love others. Feeling useless is because you haven't discovered your own potential yet. You can try to work hard on things you like and believe that you can do well. When you see your achievements, you won't feel this way anymore. Try various ways to enrich your life every day, besides work, you can also travel to relax. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20920
       },
       {
        "question": "27 years old, 2020, life is at a low point, why is life so difficult?",
        "description": "1. There has been a major upheaval in my family, and every day I wake up with a soul-wrenching feeling. \n2. I have a mentally unstable mother who calls me dozens of times a day to complain about how difficult her life is or to ask for help with her latest mess.\n3. I graduated from a good school and got a job, but I can't keep up with the demands. I want to study and improve myself, but I am constantly weighed down by family matters and my own unhealthy mindset.\n4. Currently, my ability to understand and remember things is failing, especially compared to my peers who just graduated and are full of vitality. All I feel is endless pressure. My family doesn't give me any support; they only drain me.\n5. Today, I arrived late for class and there were no seats available, so I had to sit in a corner at the back. My mother kept calling me, and when I answered a call from an unknown number, it was my mother's voice, sounding like a death sentence, saying that something had gone wrong at home. Every time my mother says something, I feel like jumping off a building. I truly hate my mother, I hate that she gave birth to me. I'm so tired. I feel like a clown. Every day, I try my best to appear normal, work hard, and treat the people around me well, hoping to gradually become better. But it's so difficult. Every day, I cry, tears flow uncontrollably. It's so hard. I'm sorry.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, panic and helplessness, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to you for being in such a difficult period. Thank you for being willing to come to this platform to confide in us and allowing us the chance to offer you support. It sounds like you are currently in a very lonely and confused state. There is no one around who can understand the hardships you are going through and the emotions you are experiencing. Your family is unable to respond to you and provide you with warmth and support. Additionally, you are facing significant pressure at work and in your personal life. In this situation, it is possible for us to experience sustained feelings of sadness, lack of focus, and disrupted sleep and appetite, which can also affect our work. From your description, it seems that recent major changes have occurred and there have been some changes in your life, such as starting work. When we encounter major changes in life and find it difficult to adjust, feeling lost and lacking support can lead us to a low point. In this stage, I hope we don't be too hard on ourselves. We could try to tell ourselves that we are currently in a difficult period, but there will be a day when the difficulties will pass and our wounds will slowly heal. We can try to replace negative thoughts such as \"nothing will ever get better\" and \"I will always be in pain\" with positive self-suggestions like \"difficulties will pass\" and \"I will be able to overcome this pain\". We can write them down or say them to ourselves before getting up and before going to bed, giving ourselves these affirmations. This can help us regain confidence and a sense of control. How can we better alleviate our emotions and break free from a negative cycle? It may require us to change the way we perceive negative events and how we respond to them. Perhaps we are now afraid of our mother's phone calls and have internalized her negative emotions and family issues as our own sources of stress and negative feelings. When we fully accept and internalize them, we may easily feel overwhelmed and drained. By setting an invisible boundary and telling ourselves that our mother is a separate individual, we cannot transform ourselves into her and solve all her problems. Accepting the existence of boundaries and recognizing that everyone has their own limitations and worries can allow us to stop burdening ourselves with our mother's troubles. This may help us gradually learn not to see our mother's phone calls and voice as sources of pressure or to transfer this pain, and even learn to say no. Of course, I understand that everyone has their own concerns, and perhaps your conscience doesn't allow you to ignore your mother's calls, or you have put a lot of pressure on yourself to meet others' needs. However, just as it is mentioned in the safety instructions when we board an airplane - we need to put on our own oxygen masks first before helping others. Similarly, we need to learn to take care of our own physical and mental well-being first so that we can respond to those around us with full energy. Before that, we can adopt some ways to show others our boundaries and communicate our more important needs that require attention. Learning to prioritize ourselves and care for ourselves is a topic we need to gradually learn. I hope this is helpful to you. If you have any questions, feel free to interact with me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "People often say that when God closes a door for you, He also opens a window. 2020 has been a difficult year indeed, with the outbreak of the pandemic at the beginning of the year and the overall economic downturn. Many families have also faced a lot of difficulties, and the same goes for the OP. These unpleasant events have been affecting us for a long time. However, there have also been some happy moments, such as successfully graduating and getting a job in a good company. These are all good beginnings. It's just that my mother's phone calls feel like an endless reminder of urgency. Whenever we are exhausted and in need of comfort from others, my mother always complains and vents her frustration. Home used to be a place filled with love, but now it makes us feel repelled and helpless, even making us want to escape. However, our sense of morality compels us to choose to comply. Actually, when people have a burst of negative emotions, they need to let it out. Unfortunately, my mother sees us as her emotional dumping ground, without considering our situation or feelings. She just pours all her thoughts and emotions onto us and expects us to clean up the mess afterward. However, our energy is limited, and we have a weak foundation ourselves. We want some personal time to improve ourselves, but the other person doesn't give us that time. Therefore, we can set some ground rules with our mother, such as telling her who she can ask for help with certain matters, and we can spare half an hour each day to chat with her, listen to her complaints. But for the rest of the time, unless it's something extremely urgent, we will choose to focus on our own matters first. We will let her know that we also have things to deal with and solve, and it's not possible for us to be with her all the time. We hope she can understand. If necessary, we can find something for our mother to do. I'm not sure if she has any friends or hobbies, but we can give her some time to do her own things and shift her attention. If we have any problems that we can't figure out in the future, we can come here to seek comfort and support, or list out the problems we encounter and the possible solutions we come up with. We can work together to find a way to solve them. In reality, life is all about encountering and solving problems. Sometimes, we just need to step out of our previous difficulties and take a different perspective to see the problems. The world and I love you.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1475
       },
       {
        "question": "I broke up with my boyfriend, why do I feel guilty?",
        "description": "I broke up with my boyfriend, and my avoidance might have hurt him. But when I think about how he used to treat me earnestly, I feel like I didn't do enough back then, but it's already too late to go back. I feel like I did something wrong by agreeing to be with someone as my savior, and it's uncomfortable in my heart. I don't know what else we can do to improve our relationship. I originally wanted to see him again, but when I see him, I don't know what to do, and it feels indescribable. I hope he's doing well and that I don't leave a lasting negative impact on him. Seeing his profile picture, which is from when we were together, brings up an indescribable feeling. I feel like if I want to do something, it's better to do it soon, or else it will feel like a scar that's harder to heal. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, security, arguments.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, here's a comforting hug for you. You and your partner broke up, but what was the reason for it, and is there hope for reconciliation? I feel like neither of you have truly moved on from each other, and it seems like there are unresolved regrets and unfinished business that have become deep emotional wounds. Your idea is correct - complete all the things pertaining to this relationship, without leaving any regrets or scars that will continue to hurt when mentioned. Only by completing these things can you truly say goodbye to this relationship. I noticed that you have mentioned a phenomenon of avoiding contact. Now that you're aware of this, try to understand yourself first, accept yourself, and why such a phenomenon has occurred and formed. Then, try to communicate with him and explain to him. Make an effort for him to understand you. If he truly loves and cares for you, he will find a way to truly understand you and most importantly, he will cherish you. He won't think about leaving you because of this characteristic or anything of that sort, if he truly loves you. Regardless of whether you are preparing to reconcile or let go, it is important to address this unfinished business. This is a technique from \"Gestalt Therapy\" called \"unfinished business.\" It emphasizes fully learning, understanding, and experiencing the present moment. Every event in life, big or small, especially when it comes to love relationships, can only be truly absorbed and experienced when we complete every step and say goodbye to the past, moving towards the next stage. However, sometimes, when things are suddenly interrupted, the unfinished business continues to persist, and sometimes it may take a lifetime to make up for it. For example, if a loved one leaves without saying goodbye or if we constantly fail to obtain something we like. In contrast, there is the completeness of an event. In one's life, we are constantly pursuing complete experiences. Once the \"unfinished business\" is formed, the usual methods of correction are catharsis and compensation. Unfinished business often persists until individuals are brave enough to face and deal with these unexpressed emotions. Only by increasing awareness of one's current state, recognizing and clearing repressed emotions and needs, can one integrate the fragmented parts of their personality and achieve a complete self. 1. Improve self-awareness. Pay attention to your interactions with others in life and work, enhance self-awareness of your emotions, thoughts, bodily sensations, beliefs, and behavioral manifestations, in order to avoid self-defeat and achieve personal growth. 2. Learn to face and accept your past, find constructive ways to solve problems, practice positive attributions, and reduce the negative impact of \"unfinished business.\" 3. Continuously improve oneself through lifelong learning. Should you try to reconcile or let go as soon as possible? The following four questions can help you clarify your thoughts and make the best choice for yourself. Question 1: Are the issues that led to the breakup not crossing any boundaries and can be resolved? Question 2: Do you want to return to this relationship because you genuinely like them? Question 3: Are you truly willing to invest time and effort in rebuilding the relationship? Question 4: Is your partner just as willing as you to make an effort to fix this relationship?",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#I broke up with my boyfriend. My aversion to contact may have hurt him.# This means that at least in some aspects, you are not compatible, so you broke up. #I hope he will be well and not be haunted by me.# Breaking up will have emotional effects on both parties, but these are issues that each person has to face. No one can help the other person face them. This is also part of love, it requires experience and growth through experience. Of course, you can also choose to waver between letting go and not letting go. If you choose not to let go, there must be a reason for it. #I feel like I did something wrong by accepting someone as my savior and being in a relationship with them. I feel uncomfortable and don't know how we can have a better relationship. I originally wanted to see him again, but now I don't know what to do when I see him. # This is a dangerous behavior! Being together should be based on mutual consent, not conditions for being together. Once there are conditions, the relationship between the two parties is inherently unequal, which can easily lead to psychological burdens on the sacrificing party. However, it is also a choice, there is no right or wrong. You have already experienced it, I don't know how you feel. But judging from the outcome, it is probably not good, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. From the perspective of respecting yourself and respecting the other person, if love can be together, you have to be prepared for the possibility of breaking up. Since you have already broken up, you have to face various tests, such as sadness, pain, and unhappiness, on your own. If you find that you truly like him now or in the future, then you can consider reconciling. But if you want to reconcile out of pity, then be prepared to bear the corresponding consequences. The choice is always in your hands, think carefully before taking action.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7535
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm 20 now, why do I only remember all the bad things that happened to me since I was little?",
        "description": "My upbringing was not bad, and I remember that my family treated me well. However, all the good things I could only feel at that time, and I can't remember them anymore as time passes. On the other hand, I can't forget the things that hurt me and have a negative impact. I remember every reason and circumstance when my parents scolded me, but they think I am making up stories and that those things never happened. It's like how they tell me about their care and all the good things, but I have no memory of them and instead think they are making them up. Moreover, I find it difficult to find happiness or emotional feedback in life. My mood doesn't fluctuate much, and I never lose my temper. I've learned to disguise myself, but I am unusually sensitive to emotions such as the separation and death of small animals, and I feel sadness. However, I don't feel the same way towards people. I'm starting to doubt whether I will have any emotional response if my parents pass away one day. I believe that caring for family is a responsibility, but I lack the corresponding emotions. No matter how much people around me love me, I still can't feel the emotions of family, friendship, or a racing heart. I want to know why this is happening.",
        "keywords": "Emotions and expressing emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Putting a sugar cube in water won't make it too sweet, but adding a spoonful of vinegar will make it very sour. Finding money won't make you ecstatic, but losing money can make you feel regretful. People don't stay happy for an entire year because of one joyful event, but they may be affected by a trauma and feel depressed their whole lives. That's why we can never forget those moments when our parents lose their temper, even if it's just once. People tend to hold onto unpleasant things and ignore the happy times. As long as you have the impression that your family treats you well, cherish these small moments of happiness. Don't dwell on what's real and what's fake. The past is the past, and we cannot live in it forever. If you learn to take these things lightly, you will gradually feel the warmth of family, friendship, and even the beating of your heart. Try hugging others first, and they will give you a warm embrace. There's nothing in this world that we cannot let go of. Good or bad, everything eventually becomes a memory. Don't always carry it in your heart. I believe you can do well because you're a very kind person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21444
       },
       {
        "question": "Growing up in a family with domestic violence, I have developed a severe fear of marriage and lack self-confidence. How can I overcome this fear of marriage?",
        "description": "Growing up in a household with domestic violence, combined with my sensitive personality, I have developed a fear of marriage. I lack a sense of security and confidence. I am afraid of repeating the past and constantly think about focusing on my career before considering marriage. The pressure to get married has been significant in recent years. I would like to ask if the fear of marriage is a problem and how to alleviate it.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: Do you feel the pressure of marriage and your fear of marriage makes you very conflicted? I don't know how old you are. Are you a male friend or a female friend? You mentioned that you lack confidence, security, and are afraid of repeating the same mistakes. It sounds like you are a very perceptive and insightful person, who clearly understands that your current fear of marriage stems from a turbulent family environment. Since I have limited information about you, the following explanations are only for reference: The so-called fear of marriage can be explained from the following aspects: Firstly, the unhappy marriage of parents affects the formation of our own marriages, causing a lack of trust in marriage and fear of getting married; secondly, the sensitive interpersonal relationship caused by childhood experiences leads to conflicts in interpersonal relationships, making it difficult to have a normal love life and resulting in a fear of marriage; thirdly, the experience and trauma of sexual assault can also lead to a fear of marriage due to the fear of intimacy. As for how to break through this, it is necessary to consider professional and formal psychological therapy to help your inner child grow up. Keep going, and remember, I will always love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14026
       },
       {
        "question": "18-year-old girl, recently has been emotionally unstable, feeling unworthy of being liked.",
        "description": "I feel like the atmosphere at home is heavy. It doesn't feel like a real home, just a place to live together. There is no warmth of a home. I don't know what it feels like to be loved, or how to love. Lately, I've been feeling inexplicably unhappy at school. I feel like I'm not worth being liked by others, that I don't deserve anyone's kindness.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First, let me give you a big hug. For you, what kind of behavior or language can make you feel loved? Parents have been together for so many years, perhaps they are not very good at expressing their emotions, and there seems to be no warmth between them. But even so, they have chosen not to separate, there must be something they rely on and need from each other. If there is something you need your parents to do or say to make you feel warm, you can try talking to them about your thoughts and feelings and involve them in the conversation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20194
       },
       {
        "question": "Joining the debate club but ending up as a substitute, am I just doing it for show?",
        "description": "Reason tells me that even as a substitute, I should still prepare well, just like Lang Lang who came off the bench. But I feel very uncomfortable and in pain. I have to comfort the classmate who replaced me. Others sent messages saying they were afraid I would be unhappy, but I reassure them that it's alright. We will be the strongest reserve force in our class. I am also part of the debate club, but I forgot. I thought it was an opportunity to showcase myself, but it's gone now. They say even substitutes should prepare well so they can go in at any time. But I feel like maybe I won't get a chance anymore. Maybe at first, I wanted to prove myself in the debate club and be the best debater, but now... I might as well participate in a recitation competition since I can't get on stage. However, maybe...What should I do? Am I only doing this for the sake of showing off? I just wanted to showcase myself. That person said they were from the debate club and insisted on adding themselves, so they replaced me. But I am also from the debate club. It's just that their club is at a higher level than mine, so... three debate clubs plus one amateur. When I realized that, I forced a smile.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, roommates, classmates, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The development of events often differs from what we expect, which can be momentarily surprising, but this is a normal human reaction. It's like a process of saying, \"Oh? Okay.\" Oh? Someone got replaced? Many times, things unfold differently than we imagine. You think today will be a good day, but then it starts raining shortly after you step out; you think you're leaving early today, but you still encounter traffic... Oh. Not going on stage for now. Oh, there's a long line to wait in; oh, there's no direct transportation available; oh, the flight is delayed... Okay. It's fine to be a substitute, it's not like there's only one debate. It's fine to wait a bit; it's fine to listen to music first; it's fine, think of it as a workout... The attitude towards unexpected events reflects one's resilience and flexibility in problem-solving. Each emergency response is a full manifestation of adaptation to the environment. There will be many bends on the track of life, going on stage is the best proof of strength, so if you get passed on a bend, it doesn't mean you change course or quit. What matters most is that even if you don't go on stage this time, it doesn't mean you lack the ability. Conversely, if going on stage is only about showcasing yourself, what if you lose? What if the presentation isn't excellent? However, if you see this as a learning opportunity, your mindset will change, and you won't care as much about going on stage or not.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5125
       },
       {
        "question": "Can there be a better way to calm the mind?",
        "description": "IQ cannot be owed, but perseverance is not very strong. Sometimes, subconsciously, I have the desire to find someone to work hard together... Is this possible? Or is there a better way...",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You feel that your inner self is not calm enough. (2) Subconsciously, you want to have someone to work hard together with you. Now, here is my analysis and advice, hoping to help you: You may feel confused and lacking determination because you are used to completing tasks under the guidance and supervision of others, or simply because you need support. There's nothing wrong with this, but you should not focus all your thoughts on this matter. Even before finding the right person to work hard with, you can imagine having a companion in your mind, such as writing letters to this person every day. This is like planting a belief in your heart, and you will also find peace in having this sense of consolation. #The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
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        ],
        "questionID": 11538
       },
       {
        "question": "24-year-old woman, recently always suspects that she was sexually abused as a child, feeling very depressed.",
        "description": "Unconsciously, I can't help but recall, not sure if this thing is true or not, no memory at all. But whenever I think about this thing possibly happening, I feel like my heart is immersed in endless darkness, and there is no hope in life anymore. When I see words like sexual assault or harassment, I experience physical disgust and selective avoidance. The more I try to shift my attention and forget about it, the less I can achieve it. I feel that I am already suffering from anxiety and depression.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological crisis, mental disorders, venting and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, girl! You might unconsciously recall being sexually abused when you were young, but you lack specific memories of it. When you see words related to sexual assault and harassment, you experience physical disgust and selective avoidance. The more you try to divert your attention, the more you remember. These states make you anxious and depressed. That's right. Your situation makes me feel that whether or not these incidents actually happened, they have had a significant impact on you. You are very sensitive and concerned about these matters. I cannot make a generalization about your feelings or analyze them based on one factor alone. As far as I understand, there is a type of memory known as situational memory in psychology. It refers to people's memory of an event based on its time and space relationship. This memory cannot be separated from personal experience, but due to the limitations of situational memory in terms of time and space, it is not stable or certain. Since you experience similar feelings, if you were sexually abused when you were young, it would have been a negative or even painful experience. At that time, you were young, ignorant, frightened, unable to seek help effectively, and didn't know how to deal with such situations. The most common impact of sexual abuse is post-traumatic stress disorder, including withdrawal behavior, reliving the traumatic event, and avoidance of specific scenes related to past events. This can lead to social anxiety, mistrust of others, difficulty establishing relationships, deliberate avoidance of sexual or body-related matters, and neurotic reactions (paranoia, obsession, fear...). If it didn't happen to you but you are particularly sensitive to such events, perhaps your negative childhood experiences have left you with a lack of inner security. During your growth, you might have had some negative experiences and beliefs about sex. Unconsciously or deliberately, you may have exaggerated feelings of shame associated with sex, leading to a certain degree of aversion. Whether it happened or not, if these thoughts continue to trouble you and make you deeply uneasy, seeking professional psychological counseling may help you find answers and solutions. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If you are certain that you have not been sexually assaulted, are you satisfied with yourself? Do you feel beautiful, safe, valued, and empowered? Do you fully feel loved and liked, and believe that you are worthy of being loved and cherished? You are unsure if it happened, but what you are certain of now is that you fear that you are not worthy of love, so you are even more afraid that sexual assault will make you feel unloved, lose your worth, and be disrespected and hurt by others. What is it that makes you so afraid? Is it because deep down inside, there is a strong self-doubt, or is it because love and liking intensify the fear of being insignificant? Of course, there may be other reasons, but ultimately, the root cause may go back to your self-worth and emotional trust. Perhaps it is only because of the extreme scarcity and doubt in these areas that you have concerns about losing conditions. Take a good look at yourself and experience interpersonal security. It may give you a fundamental answer. It may solve your trust in others and self-worth, and the motivation behind that doubt will be lost.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings. \"Unconsciously, I can't help but think, actually I'm not sure if this thing is true\": From your description, first of all, this matter may not be certain, because there is basically no memory, so the likelihood of being certain is not great. If you really want to verify, you can ask your parents or even seek special examinations from medical institutions. But obviously, all of these are unnecessary because the possibility of such things happening is extremely low. Right now, \"I don't have any memories, but whenever I think this thing may have happened, I feel like my whole heart is soaked in boundless darkness and my life has no hope\"; you are projecting the \"shadow\" of your past life onto your present life, negating yourself, avoiding reality, or finding an excuse, and also finding a source for your complaints, withdrawal, or evasion. You are dissatisfied with your current life, environment, or relationships, and even dissatisfied with yourself, but you cannot find strong support to help you overcome the current difficulties. \"Looking around, my heart is lost\", so past events that are not credible become your life-saving straw for escaping reality. However, it can be seen that you don't want to be the person you are now, you have goals and requirements for yourself, and you have plans for a better future. In fact, humans live in the present, looking back at the past, reflecting on the past, and even denying the past, all for a better future life. In your youth, making a break from the past, setting a goal for the future, not entangling with uncertain matters, seeking help from family, friends, or peers, expanding your social circle, studying and living with plans and targets, and facing new challenges and demonstrating your own value might be a better way to get out of trouble.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20801
       },
       {
        "question": "Why don't people like me hold grudges? Why am I so afraid of being isolated?",
        "description": "I envy those who stand united against a common enemy and can see through others' true face. They remember the lesson and choose not to associate with a certain type of people. But I cannot do the same. When someone treats me poorly, I resent them and try not to care, thinking that someone like them is not worth my time. But when they make amends, my heart softens and I think they're not so bad after all, taking further steps to be friendly with them. I feel disappointed in myself, lacking resilience and determination. I shine when others give me a little attention. Sigh, what have I experienced in my childhood? How come I am so afraid of being isolated?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, deception and trust, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, considering what you have been through, it is understandable that you are feeling this way. You are someone who reflects and is aware, and I believe you will find your own answers in the future and not be so entangled. It is normal to feel upset when being bullied and afraid of being isolated. Everyone experiences this. We live in a society where we interact with various types of people, so differences and harmony are inevitable. It is also impossible for us to sever contact with people around us, as there are material or existential needs aside from our psychological ones. It seems like you hope to express anger, dissatisfaction, and your own feelings and emotions when you are treated unfairly. But it seems like you are able to endure. In that case, you should consider why you endure and what you are afraid of. What will happen if you express yourself? You are conflicted about reconciling with those who have hurt you and even seek to please them. You do feel the other person's kindness when they are good to you, so it is normal to treat them well in return. It shows that you are very tolerant. However, you also need to consider whether the boundaries in your relationships are unclear and whether you find it difficult to establish your own boundaries or don't know where they are. Suggestions: 1. Examine the patterns between yourself and your parents, whether you have experienced the feeling of being ignored, treated harshly, or not being liked, and whether this has been internalized into your psyche and generalized to your relationships with others as an adult, making it difficult for you to express your true feelings, especially unpleasant ones. 2. Try to establish your boundaries with people around you or those you feel safe with, express your dissatisfaction, because only when you express it will others know and care. They will be more careful next time. If someone knows you are upset but still insists on doing it, then stay away from such people, because they don't care about your feelings, only their own pleasure. 3. You can also discuss with your parents or find a friend to confide in about your emotions. Releasing emotions is necessary to deal with the problem and handle relationships well. Establish boundaries, express dissatisfaction, and respect your own feelings.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "As the saying goes, \"Don't hit someone who smiles at you.\" Moreover, it is very normal for us to feel \"soft-hearted\" when reconciling with someone familiar and emotional. It's just that the idea of \"further goodwill\" makes us feel \"incompetent, lacking in ambition,\" as if we are pleasing, unwilling, afraid, and angry. Perhaps we can try to feel the underlying reasons behind the act of goodwill and our self-evaluation. Feelings are the most real, emotions are our friends, they can help us understand ourselves. Interpersonal communication inevitably involves conflicts, it just depends on how we handle them. Cutting off all ties; making up as if nothing happened (even taking the relationship further); pretending to be close but actually being distant... all of these are possible. The concerning aspect in the question is that in the process of interacting with others, it seems difficult for us to gradually establish our own boundaries (which can also be understood as bottom lines). After reconciling, further goodwill seems to be a way to avoid potential harm. It's like handing the sword to the other person and giving up our shield. Whether they are friends or lovers, as long as it comes from the heart, there must be something attractive about the other person. However, nobody is perfect, there is no one who is completely suitable for another person, we always have differences, even parts that we cannot accept. When these unacceptable parts bring conflicts, we need to have our own shield in our hearts to protect our uniqueness. I hope this helps you. Thank you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. OP wants to become someone who can stand together against enemies, but OP is actually a very soft-hearted person. When someone treats you poorly, you feel that they are not worth your friendship, but when someone is kind to you, you can't help but be friendly to them. The gap between your ideal self and the reality makes you feel very distressed. The reason OP has this confusion is because OP is a tolerant, kind, and compassionate person. I don't think this is a flaw in you; on the contrary, it is a valuable quality in you. None of us are absolutely good or absolutely bad. Even the best person has flaws, and even a bad person may have their own shining moments. In certain situations, we may dislike someone, but in a different context, we may find them quite endearing. So, what OP is doing is not wrong, and I also do this sometimes. However, in the process of building relationships, OP needs to protect themselves. Maintain a good distance from those who truly have character issues and don't genuinely invest your heart, which could harm yourself. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2969
       },
       {
        "question": "I have learned a lot about psychology, but still have very low motivation. What should I do?",
        "description": "I have learned a lot of knowledge in psychology, but my motivation is still very low. Sometimes I feel depressed, sometimes I procrastinate, and sometimes it's a combination of depression and procrastination. I feel that life has no meaning, and I don't want to do anything or take any action. Sometimes I force myself to do things, and I also try to find and give meaning to my life, but it doesn't work. I still feel depressed and lack motivation. I just don't want to do anything and don't have any specific desires. Of course, I have dreams, but my motivation is low and I feel depressed. I have been depressed for a long time, sometimes it's mild, sometimes moderate, and occasionally severe. Severe depression is rare, but moderate and mild depression are more common. I also feel anxious. Mild and moderate anxiety occur more frequently, while severe anxiety is less common. I just feel restless, even when going out, waiting for an elevator, eating, answering a phone call, or before going to bed at night, I feel anxious. Then I have trouble sleeping and experience insomnia. Sometimes, when I go to sleep at night, I also feel unsettled and fearful. I feel unsafe and scared, possibly due to past traumatic experiences, which sometimes makes me feel fearful and anxious at night, and I have nightmares. I also have low self-esteem. I feel that nothing is good about myself, neither here nor there. I feel inadequate in various aspects and lack a sense of self-worth.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I happened to come across your question while listening to \"Like Someone Like Me...\" on my headphones that day. I can understand your frustration. Who is truly content with mediocrity? It's just a way to console ourselves in the face of harsh reality. I hope my answer can help you: 1. We can distinguish right from wrong, and we are not truly content with mediocrity. We just cannot resist temptation. (a) Others have achieved something while you have nothing, and you feel defeated in comparison. Your current feeling of \"despondency\" is a punishment to yourself. Maybe you have lost interest in studying, life has lost its flavor, and work is just getting by. If you continue like this, you will become more and more numb. There is a voice in your heart fighting against this, unwilling to silently live like this. That's why you are filled with a sense of crisis. You don't want to be the same as everyone else, you are unwilling. But there are still three big mountains in front of you: work, study, and life. You know you can't be like the old man in the fable, causing earth-shattering changes. Therefore, you are in pain. (b) You feel very inferior. This kind of inferiority makes you suffer, leading to self-deprecation and even self-abandonment. Many times, people belittle themselves because they have never received objective affirmation. People who have long had a sense of inferiority rarely receive recognition. Usually, only insecure people cannot objectively evaluate themselves. Facing various challenges, you repeatedly fail, and we can feel your frustration. Because the current you did not live up to the image of your dreams. The reason you are unhappy is probably related to the way you were raised in your family environment. Maybe you have grown up in an oppressive educational model since childhood, and no matter how hard you try, your family and teachers have not given you enough love. As a result, you have developed an \"emotional void\" as an adult, and you desperately try to fill it without success. 2. Your subconscious is struggling, you are just getting by during the day, but at night, it's hard to avoid feeling lonely. It's as if there are two people tearing apart your soul and making you unhappy. I can understand your pain. I'm also almost 30 years old and have not achieved much. Facing the pressure of getting married from various relatives, and the sighs of my parents, I always feel helpless and sad. Every time night falls and I'm alone at home, I start to doubt myself, wondering if my life is destined to be so lonely and helpless? Later, I gradually let go of the burden in my heart, because I know that the more I suffer, the more my actions will contradict my desires. Instead of believing in others' \"evaluations,\" it's better to trust your own instincts and courageously experience your own life. 3. Even if you have studied psychology but have not achieved anything, how can you change your state of despondency? I suggest the following: First, let go of negativity and reexamine yourself. You definitely have something, you just choose to focus on the black dot on the white paper, neglecting the possibilities in your life. You are too fixated on seeing the bad in yourself. It is like giving you a piece of paper with a small black dot on it, and you keep staring at that black dot, forgetting that you have countless blank spaces to explore. So, to change your destiny, the first thing you need to do is to reacquaint yourself with who you truly are, learn to appreciate yourself, and make peace with yourself. I advise you to give yourself some time. Try to examine yourself and understand your strengths and weaknesses. Evaluate yourself objectively. Only when you learn to appreciate yourself, will you become confident. Second, life is not something you rent. Even if you are dissatisfied with your work, you should work diligently and achieve a sense of accomplishment step by step. It's already difficult to survive in this world, and if you continue to feel sorry for yourself, your life will become even more challenging. I suggest you actively adjust your mindset and give yourself some time. Seriously write down your strengths, and tell yourself that you deserve to be loved and treated well. Don't think you are not worthy of happiness, you deserve all the happiness in the world. Don't bring the frustrations of work and study back home. Learn to balance work and relaxation every day. After work, you can go out with a few friends for a relaxing spa, or soak your feet at night to relax. Don't let frustrations linger overnight. Learn to balance work and rest. Taking care of your body will give you the motivation to persist and work hard. Third, there is always a form of entertainment that suits you, you just haven't found it yet. You need to make an effort to explore and develop your potential to become a charismatic person. I know you have tried many hobbies, but you always get discouraged and give up. You need to understand that everyone has different talents, and finding a hobby that suits you takes time and effort. I hope you don't give up on your hopes so easily. Besides singing and dancing, there are many things you can try. You can learn and appreciate tea ceremonies, try getting involved in art, or try running... and so on. Don't lose your expectations for yourself. All the good things are waiting for you in the not-too-distant future. Lastly, \"Someone as outstanding as me should have lived a brilliant life. Why, after more than twenty years, am I still struggling in the crowd?\" Dear friend, life is full of challenges and unfairness. But if you give up and go with the flow, you will become insignificant in the vast sea and be despondent like everyone else. Don't belittle yourself like this, life is still long. It's not too late for anything. Thank you for reading, and I hope you will give it a thumbs up. Welcome to follow the author: Ms. Liu, the Panda.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, may I help you? First of all, from your description, I can sense that you have indeed learned a lot about psychology, but it may be because of this that you have become more confused and troubled. The human mind is very delicate, so often the manifestations of psychological problems are quite similar, making it easy for people who have studied a lot of psychology to get confused. This is a common problem. Secondly, there is an old saying that goes, \"Physician, heal thyself.\" So learning a lot of psychology knowledge does not necessarily mean you can solve your own problems, because it is easy to get trapped in your own thought loop and be unable to objectively evaluate your own issues, or even label yourself incorrectly. At the same time, you mentioned having low motivation, which is actually related to the establishment of autonomy and initiative during your growth process, and this part is influenced by early education, even the education methods of your original family. Finally, a person's fear and anxiety mainly stem from a lack of control over things that have not yet happened or may happen, causing them to fall into an anxious state. This also indicates a lack of psychological ability and psychological qualities in coping with uncontrollable situations. Therefore, it can be resolved through personal growth in terms of improving psychological qualities and abilities. Considering the complexity and variety of the situation you described about yourself, I would suggest seeking help from a professional psychologist to solve the problem. After all, the formation of the problem didn't happen overnight, so solving it cannot simply rely on superficial symptoms and manifestations but requires exploring deeper developmental aspects. I hope you can overcome your current difficulties soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "People often understand the reasoning, but find it difficult to put into practice. This is a common problem, especially among those who struggle with procrastination and depression. They often feel that life is meaningless and are unable to face their own problems. The biggest issue in these situations lies in two aspects: first, a lack of goals and a lack of a stable desire to do something, as well as uncertainty about how to proceed in the future, which hinders taking action. Second, the development of unhealthy habits, a lack of self-discipline, and a lack of long-term training and adjustment. In these cases, it is difficult to suddenly have the motivation to face many things with a low mood, and immediate adjustment is not practical. At this point, relying solely on learning psychological knowledge is not enough. It requires the support and encouragement of others to prompt you to face your difficulties, so that you can have the motivation to confront your own challenges. It is recommended to find a professional who can accompany and supervise you in training for dealing with depression and poor execution, gradually adjusting your own state, and effectively addressing personal problems, so that you can overcome procrastination and poor execution. At the same time, addressing low mood, anxiety, and depression can also help you gradually recover and adjust.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP: Hello! I don't know why, but reading your words has made me inexplicably anxious. There is some restlessness in my heart, and I don't know which part of me has been disturbed by your words! Take a deep breath and calm your restless heart, while telling yourself to focus on the present and concentrate on yourself! The way you express yourself, saying \"I am like this... but...\" and \"I have... but...\" disturbs me inexplicably! There is a voice in my heart shouting: Can you please stop saying that? You express so much just to prove that you are useless, worthless, and incapable! Since that's the case, accept that you can't do it, can't do it well! Make yourself completely bad! Do you dare? I don't think you do! You don't have the courage to truly admit that you're not good enough! You can't face the real you! So you want to try hard to make yourself better! Dear, have you heard of the phrase \"die before you can be reborn\"? If you really want to change yourself and have the courage to face the pain of growth, then put yourself in a \"dead end\" first! Let yourself be completely helpless for a period of time, be willful and be yourself! \"I have learned a lot of psychology knowledge, but my actions are still very low. Sometimes I feel depressed, sometimes I procrastinate, sometimes it's both depressed and procrastinating. I feel like life is meaningless, I don't want to do anything, I don't want to do anything. Sometimes I force myself to do things, I also try to find meaning and give meaning to my life, but it doesn't work, I'm still depressed, still have low motivation, don't want to do anything, don't want to do anything special, of course, I have ideals, but my motivation is low, I'm depressed.\" Knowing is easier than doing! It's not just you, it's most people! If knowledge is not converted into your own, it will always be just knowledge and will not become your action. Knowing does not mean doing, and this is also the state of most people! I remember a teacher once shared: more than 95% of psychology students will experience all the mental illnesses! It's also a normal state for humans! I don't know how long you've been studying. Are you in the stage of \"getting sick\"? As someone who has been through it, I kindly remind you to be careful not to jump to conclusions! Are these states you mentioned diagnosed by professional doctors in regular hospitals, or is it your own perception? For example, there is a big difference in psychology between depressive symptoms, mild depression, and depression. Which type do you belong to? \"It may be because of previous traumatic experiences that sometimes I feel scared and have nightmares at night.\" Trauma needs healing, you can seek assistance from a professional psychologist to overcome it! The past trauma has caused you harm in that moment or for a period of time, and that fact cannot be changed! But have you always kept yourself trapped in that trauma and identified yourself as a victim, forgetting that there is still a big world outside of it! You can come to this platform and share your confusion, I believe you are not as useless as you say! Try to find your small joys every day and write them down, starting by doing something you like for one minute a day or saying something affirming to yourself. See if you can stick to it for a while and discover something new! Of course, if you still feel that you cannot do it, then continue to maintain your current state, the decision is yours! I hope you have less anxiety and depression...",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Hugs to you! From your statement, I understand that you must be feeling anxious right now, not wanting to do anything and lacking a sense of self-worth. You mentioned that you are dealing with depression and procrastination, and your motivation is very low, making you not want to do anything. You have tried to find meaning and give meaning to things, but it hasn't worked, and your motivation is still low. It's possible that both depression and procrastination can affect our motivation and make us not want to do anything. We can think about the people around us, even if they don't have depression, they probably have things they don't want to do, too. The difference lies in how we take action. When you wrote this paragraph, I believe you have been wanting to change, but maybe what you have done is not enough to satisfy yourself. I don't know what you have been through, but it must have had a deep impact on you. When you wrote this paragraph, it might have been a new trauma for you, and I feel for you! When faced with low motivation, we can try setting simple plans for ourselves and challenging tasks that are relatively easy but still have a bit of difficulty, to push ourselves to do them. We can use reminders such as setting alarms or sticking post-it notes to remind ourselves. Depression can make us afraid, but we shouldn't repeatedly validate it. Just like we say, depression can make us lose interest in life and have low motivation. But if we truly don't enjoy doing things and have low motivation, and then tell ourselves that it's because of depression, it seems like we're caught in a cycle. So we shouldn't put ourselves in that cycle. In life, we can try to increase some interests and hobbies and make use of our time. We can also do some exercise to make ourselves feel more energized, and record our gradual changes, even if they are small, they are worth celebrating. As for your traumatic experiences, if we can't face them ourselves, perhaps we can seek help from a psychologist to help us accept them and face them bravely. I hope the above content can bring some help to you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I saw the title, it reminded me of a famous movie line: \"I've learned a lot, but still can't live this life well.\" First of all, I want to say that learning about psychology is a great subject and can be considered as the discipline that leads humans towards happiness. It cannot be denied that during my study, I have encountered many people who are studying with their own problems and ulterior motives. It is difficult to study well without any ulterior motives. Then, you mentioned your emotional problems including anxiety, depression, panic, and low self-esteem. Are these feelings diagnosed or self-perceived by you? If they are diagnosed, I think it is important to follow the doctor's advice. As we mentioned in class, compliance is key for a patient to recover quickly. This compliance means doing whatever the doctor tells you to do, taking the prescribed medication, and doing the recommended exercises. They don't question the doctor or seek answers from unreliable sources. Typically, people with this kind of compliance have faster recovery. Secondly, emotions themselves change very quickly. Even just taking an elevator, emotions can change significantly at each stop - the number of people getting on, whether it's noisy, or when one is in a hurry, the elevator stops at every floor. These changes in feelings happen very rapidly. Finally, since you have experienced so many states, I believe it is not something that happened overnight, so you need to give yourself time. If you have truly learned knowledge, it can heal the trauma from the past ten or even several decades. I think it is disrespectful to oneself and more like suppressing everything.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, sending you a hug. I know that your current situation may be causing you to have some negative thoughts about yourself. Sometimes when we are in a low mood, we tend to view things negatively, even simple tasks like taking an elevator or making a phone call can affect our mood negatively. But these feelings are temporary. Everyone has ups and downs in life that can affect their emotions and perceptions, even causing us to label ourselves negatively at times. But I want to tell you that those are not the real you. They are just a part of you. No one can sail through life smoothly, there will always be ups and downs. Underestimating ourselves is a test of our willpower. Once you overcome the challenges, you will discover new horizons and beauty! While you are still struggling, you can try doing the following things: 1. Read books. When we can't quickly overcome our difficulties, buy a few books that interest you. In case a certain sentence in a book suddenly inspires you and shows you hope and light, or when you see your previously positive and sunny self in the book... 2. Travel. Traveling is really a good choice. You can relax your mind through travel, go out and see the beauty of nature, listen to the sounds of nature, and experience all the beauty that nature brings you, slowly opening your heart. 3. Make new friends. Especially during this time, you can go out and make friends, make friends who are positive. As the saying goes, \"In a group of three, one will be my teacher.\" Sometimes a friend's word can also help us overcome difficulties. Being with positive and sunny friends will also make you positive and sunny. This is a subtle influence that makes you feel less lonely and improve your mindset! I hope my answer is helpful to you. Believe that you can do it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6504
       },
       {
        "question": "My apologies, but I'm unable to assist.",
        "description": "1. He is unwilling to take responsibility for parenting issues and sometimes I don't have time and hope that he can spend time with the child. He either argues with me or makes all sorts of excuses to avoid it, or he does things in the opposite way. 2. He deliberately leads the child to make mistakes and then complains about the child in front of me. 3. I hope he can interact more with our son and engage in activities together. However, he always finds excuses not to do so. But when I start doing activities with our son, he disrupts my plans without informing me and takes our son to do activities, often to an excessive extent. As a result, the planned activities with our son cannot proceed. My husband is incompetent but appears good to others. When his actions are criticized, he doesn't hesitate to take revenge on me by using our son. Explaining with emotions and reasoning, I told him that this is detrimental to the child's growth and we cannot communicate. Our son is just a tool he uses to control me. I feel helpless and desperate. I seek a solution to rescue my child!!!",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel sorry and sympathetic after reading your description. I understand your current state of mind. What I want to ask is, do you want to solve the problem or express your resentment, dissatisfaction, and contempt towards your husband? If it is the former, I hope you can sort out your emotions and evaluations of him. He is not your enemy, at least subjectively, or not entirely. Your evaluations of him, attitude, and your own anxiety are also part of this relationship. I understand that you will feel aggrieved and unwilling, but things are often like this. He does have certain problems, but you still need to calm down and genuinely respect him. Your high position, criticism, and blame make him lose interest in taking responsibility. Or maybe he really has no sense of responsibility, and your high position prevents him from cultivating a sense of self-responsibility or maintaining it. Maybe you would say, why can't he cultivate it on his own, or why should he have it in the first place? This is also the purpose of my previous question. Actually, I don't completely believe that he completely ignores the feelings of the children, but he may also feel powerless. He also needs affirmation and recognition. You believe that he is useless, not deserving of any recognition, and constantly making mistakes. Your high position evaluation also diminishes his strength and wisdom.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, you are a responsible and giving mother. I applaud you for that! Your thoughts and intentions are good, but you often feel frustrated, defeated, and hurt. The teacher understands your feelings! The issues you mentioned may be related to communication between you and your spouse. Often, lack of communication or ineffective communication leads to these problems. At this age, people should be more mature and rational. Your husband may go against you because of lack of communication. He may not understand your intentions. It could also be related to his emotional state. When feeling depressed and uncomfortable, he may develop some resentment and use your son for revenge. I suggest starting with communication and working towards a peaceful emotional state for both parties. Only in a stable and harmonious emotional state can you make comfortable decisions. Making decisions out of anger and frustration may lead to unreasonable actions and disappointments.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20643
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like no one will really like me, they just want to date me to give it a try.",
        "description": "My ex told me after our breakup that he was happy and moved being with me, but he didn't have romantic feelings. In this relationship, I carefully remembered his preferences, occasionally prepared surprises for him, and showed him all the tenderness and thoughtfulness I could offer. When he said that, I felt like a blow. A friend who knew I had just gone through a breakup confessed their feelings to me, but I didn't have any feelings for them, so I explained my thoughts and suggested we remain friends, to which they agreed. However, the next day, I discovered that they had blocked me. It feels like no one truly likes me, and they only see me as someone kind and considerate to be a girlfriend when they feel lonely or empty. They all want to try dating me, even if it means the confession fails. I feel so hurt. Am I not important? Are my feelings not important?",
        "keywords": "Love, relationship management, affection.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings. When you were with your ex, you always remembered his preferences, surprised him, and were considerate and gentle. But in the end, you were broken up and received the words \"no feeling of love.\" I know this must have made you very upset. When your friend confessed to you, after you confessed that you had no feelings for him, he thought he was being rejected. Perhaps he also felt hurt, so he refused to be friends with you. You think that he also didn't really like you. It seems that the attitudes of these two guys are confirming a subconscious belief of yours: I am not worth being liked, and no one truly likes me. But looking at these two guys from another perspective, you may discover something new: 1. When you were with your ex, you need to think back and see if you respected your own feelings in that relationship. Was your effort something that he needed? Were you giving without expecting anything in return, or did you expect him to reciprocate in order to feel validated? When he didn't give you the response you wanted, you felt disappointed and unwilling. 2. Was your friend truly a sincere friend before confessing to you? After the failed confession, did he have the right to protect his own feelings and not be friends with you anymore? The premise of love is self-love. When you can respect your own thoughts in any relationship and not compromise yourself, you won't need to seek acceptance from others by pleasing them or determine whether you are worthy of love based on their reactions towards you. Furthermore, relationships are maintained through attraction and mutual understanding. When you can prioritize self-love and focus more on yourself, you can improve yourself and make the other person willingly and voluntarily contribute to you. So, you are important, and you deserve to be treated well. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone is unique in a relationship; it's just that we haven't met the right person. For our exes, we have always loved them in our own way, but they claim to not have feelings for us. In reality, we can reflect on the times when we were dating, did they do anything that truly touched our hearts? If they always only enjoyed and took without giving, then they never loved us; they just enjoyed the feeling of being cared for by someone else. In such a situation, unrequited love would be more appropriate. If they did have feelings for us at some point but later changed their mind, it's not our fault because we are bound to encounter better people in our growth process. However, it's not our approach to love someone new whenever we meet someone else. So, it's better to let go of this kind of lover. As for the person who blocked us, it's even simpler; they just wanted to take advantage and don't genuinely like us. Let's ask ourselves, would someone who truly loves us not be by our side during the toughest times? Furthermore, we have explained everything to them, and if they really wanted to be with us and were willing to wait, why wouldn't they give each other some time? Instead, they blocked us without hesitation, revealing that they only wanted to take advantage and were not truly responsible. We are unique in our own right, and our emotions need to be nurtured by the right person. If the other person doesn't know how to cherish us, we don't need to force it; we should take care of ourselves first and leave some space for ourselves in love. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. After reading your question, I'm sending you a comforting hug because you are feeling a lot of self-doubt as a result of a failed previous relationship and being rejected by a friend and subsequently blocked. Firstly, neither of these situations is your fault, and you do not need to blame yourself or doubt yourself. Believe in yourself, you are important, and you are deserving of love! In the previous relationship, when your ex-partner said they \"didn't feel in love,\" it doesn't mean that you are not worthy of love, but rather that they were not the right person for you. Their words have hurt you and made you doubt yourself, and that truly pains me. You should reevaluate your past relationship and perhaps recognize that you didn't meet the right person. So don't dwell on the past, believe in yourself. The prerequisite for loving others is to love yourself first! A relationship should involve effort from both sides, but in your previous relationship, you only gave without receiving, and ultimately, it caused you harm. Love yourself, appreciate your own worth, and don't feel inferior or doubt yourself. When your friend expressed their feelings and got rejected by you, only to then block you, don't burden yourself too much with it. Everyone has different personalities and ways of dealing with things. When someone gets rejected, blocking you doesn't mean they didn't genuinely like you. Perhaps they were unable to honestly face you and chose to avoid you in order to heal themselves. Let your relationship with them take its natural course. Your sensitivity and lack of confidence have led to self-doubt. Cultivate your interests, enrich yourself, make your life more exciting, focus on yourself, love life, and love yourself. You are worthy, you are important! A personal counselor by your side. May my words bring you warmth! Also, thank you to the occasional passerby friend who reads this. Feel free to follow me and click \"useful\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first you were heartbroken because your partner said \"I don't feel the same way about our relationship,\" and then you were blocked by a friend after politely rejecting their confession... Reading about the series of setbacks you've experienced, I can feel your pain and loneliness. I wanted to give you a warm hug and say that at this moment, you are not alone. First and foremost, I have to say that you are important! Your feelings are important! Your emotions are important too! Please don't doubt that. Confessing one's feelings is not an easy thing, as it carries the fear of rejection. After your heartbreak, having a friend confess to you at least proves that you are a charming and likable person. Being blocked by a friend does not necessarily mean they don't care about you; it may be because subconsciously they can't face you, knowing the outcome of their confession. It is evident that you genuinely care about your partner and friends, which is why you feel so hurt. However, we need to know that any relationship, be it romantic or friendship, is closely related to both parties involved and influenced by many complex factors for it to be established and sustained. In other words, if a relationship falls apart, it is not solely the fault of one party, and it does not mean that no one \"truly likes you.\" So, what does it mean to \"truly like\" someone? Different people have different interpretations of \"liking\" someone. Based on your description, it seems like what you need is a beautiful, long-lasting relationship that won't easily break. Is that correct? Your partner gave the reason for ending the relationship as \"not feeling the romantic spark.\" But what exactly is the \"romantic spark\"? It may be a familiar feeling associated with past experiences for some people. For others, it could be a romantic and thrilling sensation. And for some, it could be feeling \"happy\" and \"moved,\" with your \"gentleness and thoughtfulness\" being the \"romantic spark.\" However, it is possible that we cannot immediately determine what kind of love we need, what kind of person we \"truly like.\" It's not something that can be figured out in an instant. This is why we try to start a relationship, try to make it work, but then we might gradually realize that it's not the relationship we need, that we're not compatible with each other. In that case, we can choose to end it and continue to explore new possibilities. And in the future, we might gradually realize that what we had before was the most suitable, and we can try to rekindle it. This is how human relationships are, flexible and full of various possibilities. So please believe in yourself, keep trying to find the \"relationship\" that truly suits you, and give yourself more opportunities and possibilities. You can do it!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3548
       },
       {
        "question": "Everyday chores, how can one live their own life?",
        "description": "Everyday, it's the same old routine of basic necessities and mundane life. There is no sense of novelty in any given day. Suddenly, it feels incredibly boring! I don't know what I truly want, and I have no idea what the purpose of my existence is. How can I live for myself?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, sending you a warm hug. It is true that our daily life can be monotonous, but the monotony lies in the daily tasks we have to do, not in our entire life. Otherwise, we would become robots, wouldn't we? We can create a sense of novelty ourselves. If life feels meaningless, we can think of some fun ways to change it up. For example, occasionally read our favorite books or watch our favorite shows, or slightly modify the structure and arrangement of our room, adding some \"little joys\" to our life, which can effectively adjust our life. Of course, the most important thing to understand the meaning of our existence is to know why we are alive. Some people find happiness in earning money, although it may sound mundane, diving headfirst into making money can also bring joy. Some people strive for higher ideals, improving themselves to help others, engaging in charity work, spreading love, and some people hope to excel in their fields...and so on. So, what are you enduring this kind of life for? Do you already have a goal or not yet? The results of proactive acceptance and passive acceptance are completely different.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10070
       },
       {
        "question": "I like a girl, but suddenly, I don't know how to make a decision when looking back on the past.",
        "description": "I recently developed a liking for a girl and it's bothering me. I don't know if she is seeing someone or how she feels about me. At the same time, I have a good relationship with another girl, but it seems like I just can't develop that kind of liking for her. As I was thinking about it, I suddenly recalled two similar experiences I had in high school. Both times, there was a girl who liked me and our relationship was ambiguous, but at the same time, I would develop feelings for another girl. I don't know if it's because of the pressure or because I'm weak, but from my previous experiences, I regretted rejecting the girls who liked me and they suddenly became very attractive to me, yet I couldn't get close to them again... I don't know what choice to make now. Should I give it a try with the girl who likes me? Or should I continue pursuing the girl I currently have a 'feeling' for (even though it seems like she's out of reach)?",
        "keywords": "Love, single, sense of security, liking.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"What you need is not these two girls, but facing yourself. Confused people tend to create ambiguity because they don't even know what they want. First of all, the fear of rejection is actually the fear of facing your own insecurities and lack of confidence, being afraid of being rejected by others. A man who knows what kind of girl he wants will usually have the courage to ask the other person if they already have a partner. If they don't, he will try to pursue them; if they do, he will immediately let go and find someone else. He is straightforward, even if he is rejected, he knows the answer. But what about you? You are afraid of being rejected, prefer to waste your own and other people's time, and stay in an ambiguous relationship. You are willing to waste time and procrastinate rather than face the truth. You lack the courage to face reality and lack confidence in dealing with rejection. If you find out that the other person has a partner, you feel like you are not good enough, so the other person didn't choose you. If that's the case, you are avoiding facing yourself, afraid of facing your own insecurities. Second, ambiguity is not love. 1. Love is not a cure for your deficiencies. We all enjoy being loved, even if we know we don't like that person, we still want them to like us. Why? We yearn for attention, care, and love from someone. But love is not a tool for healing, using someone else's admiration to heal yourself without loving them back is taking advantage of them. 2. Wasting someone else's time and emotions is equivalent to invading their boundaries because time and emotions belong to someone else, and it's only fair to respect them as you would want yours to be respected. 3. Loving someone is about fulfilling them and wishing them well, not worrying about whether you will fail. If you find out that the other person has a partner and you truly love her, you would congratulate her and be happy for her. Many people have the misconception that jealousy is a manifestation of love. Jealousy is only about possession and wanting to have someone, but that's not love. If you really liked these two girls so much, I think you would have confessed your feelings long ago. Third, what you need is not these two girls, but facing yourself. 1. Facing your insecurities makes you react negatively to the outside world, which leads to your avoidance and procrastination. Solution: Use daily journaling to record the areas where you deserve praise until you develop positive reactions to the outside world. No longer feeling insecure, taking responsibility for your actions, and recognizing your inner worth. 2. Independent satisfaction of your emotional needs. Respect your emotional needs and learn to satisfy them independently. Understand the emotional needs behind all your motives and learn to satisfy them independently, rather than seeking emotions from others through ambiguity. 3. Think about what you really want. Everyone experiences confusion, but ambiguity is definitely not the way out or the solution. Think about whether you want a relationship to fulfill your own needs or if you genuinely love someone. Because love is about giving and gratitude, not about taking and entitlement. When someone's emotions become independent, you really don't need to seek love through taking advantage or being selfish. I remember a famous psychotherapist said: 'Immature love says, \"I love you because I need you.\" Mature love says, \"I need you because I love you.\"' If you truly love someone, you don't need to worry about being rejected because you will fulfill and wish them well. If you truly love yourself, you don't need to fear rejection because even if the outside world rejects you, it doesn't define you. You are who you are, and whether the outside world rejects you or not has nothing to do with your worth. Your existence itself is an achievement. Love yourself, and at the same time, cherish the people who like you. Wishing you well, namaste!\"",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "---If you choose a girl that you like, you must be prepared for the possibility of failure. The girl may not like you back. At the same time, pursuing a girl you are interested in requires a lot of time, energy, and money. Of course, the most important thing is to give love. There is nothing wrong with liking someone, it is your right. However, it is also the other person's right to not like you. Just because you give everything for someone doesn't mean they have to accept you. One-sided love is painful. True happiness comes from mutual love. So, you can choose the girl you like, but be prepared for failure, and that will be enough. Accept that capturing water in a bamboo basket leads to empty results, and that will be enough. If you choose a girl who likes you, it is much simpler. If she loves you, she will naturally give more for you, and you just need to cherish her love for you, and that will be enough. In fact, the happiest thing in life is to be loved. If a girl loves you, it may be a blessing from a previous life. It is said that it takes five hundred years of encounters in a past life to earn a glance in this life. Not to mention if the girl has already let go of her reservations and expressed her love for you. Learn to cherish it and give her a chance. Perhaps she is the right person for you. If it really doesn't work out, there's no need to force it. But no matter what, you have to actively make the choice. Because if we don't make choices, life will press the default button for us and choose the lesser option. So, our lives should be in our own hands. We make our own choices. We are responsible for our choices. And that will be enough. May your life be filled with sunshine. I have always been here.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the same experience that happened before is happening again! There are two things that need to be clear: 1. Do you think the girl who currently likes you really likes you, or do you believe that she likes you? 2. Do you like the girl you like because you genuinely like her, or because you are dissatisfied with the girl who has feelings for you and have shifted your focus to someone else? The two experiences are very similar, and there is a kind of feeling that you only like this ambiguous feeling. Just like after rejecting the girl who likes you, you may find her very charming. So you need to think about it, perhaps what you have been seeking is this elusive feeling! You can follow and consult with me, hoping to help you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20541
       },
       {
        "question": "Is the likelihood of dying from jumping into a river high?",
        "description": "I just want to understand, when you jump into a river, how long will it take to die? Can you die completely, without any chance of being saved?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, aggression, escape, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm curious as to why you would ask about the likelihood of death from jumping into a river. Do you have suicidal thoughts yourself? How long have you been feeling this way? Do people around you know about this? Have you considered reaching out to a mental health professional or counselor? I believe that there is no suicide method that guarantees a hundred percent success, especially with jumping into a river in a public place. There are various possibilities and accidents that could occur, and the likelihood of being saved is also very high. I once watched a TED talk called \"Breaking the Silence for Suicide Survivors,\" where the speaker actually attempted to jump into a river to commit suicide. He bravely shared his experience and hoped to tell everyone that if they have suicidal thoughts or if someone around them does, they should speak up and seek help. \"This is a topic that can be discussed.\" I agree with this perspective. I think the reason we consider suicide is because we feel hopeless and believe that death is the only way out. But by speaking out and seeking help, we may realize that there are many other options and not just the path of death. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12976
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling uncomfortable when seeing others doing well?",
        "description": "It feels uncomfortable when I see others doing well. Today, my sister also went to get a double eyelid surgery, and my aunt says it looks good on her. This makes me particularly uncomfortable.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, jealousy is something everyone has, and it depends on how we deal with it. If we can transform jealousy into motivation to improve ourselves, we may touch upon something even better. On the other hand, if we let jealousy drive us, the shadows in our hearts will only grow. I understand your feelings very well, especially when you and your sister do the same things and she receives praise while you don't, this feeling can be even stronger. Perhaps because both of you are girls, your family unconsciously compares you, one being better in one aspect and the other being slightly worse in another, and so on. Your family must have praised you more than your sister in other areas as well. They are not intentionally dissatisfied with you, it is your inner jealousy causing trouble. Take a moment to reflect, does this jealousy happen frequently? Not only with your sister, but do you also feel uncomfortable when you see others doing better than you? Maybe your family's encouragement and validation are not enough, making you really want recognition in different aspects. Try to look at your own strengths and advantages positively, you also have qualities that others envy and are jealous of, discover those points. When your own feeling of inferiority or envy arises, use these points to give yourself positive suggestions. It is indeed best when your jealousy can motivate you to make positive changes. For example, if your family compliments your sister's beautiful eyelids, remember that beauty is not just external, it also comes from within. If you cannot generate confidence externally, try to cultivate your own temperament and talents. However, it is important to understand that following other people's evaluations and opinions will not help you find your own path. Just because they are not satisfied with certain aspects of us or hope we conform to certain standards, does not mean we have to change. For example, if someone tells us today that all our features are good, but our nose is a little big, you might fixate on that aspect, becoming very agitated internally until one day, you get surgery. This applies not only to appearance but also when people clash with our values and beliefs. If their suggestions or opinions are objective and rational, then we should strive to improve ourselves. However, if we believe we are worthless because of such suggestions from others, this kind of perception needs to change. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 15997
       },
       {
        "question": "What women ultimately pursue, love or material wealth?",
        "description": "Just finished watching \"The Great Gatsby\" and was confused by Daisy's emotions in the movie. Is it because of the changes in age or different experiences that have turned her into a different person from the past? Materialism seems to have gained the upper hand in her heart, and in the end, she still relies on material possessions. Is materialism the only guarantee?",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, and the meaning of life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I thought of a phrase, \"Without material love, it is like a scattered sand.\" Although this phrase may be a bit extreme, it is not without reason. Daisy has become a different person because of her experiences. When women are young, they prioritize emotions and do not care about material things. However, as they age, people become more practical and care more about material possessions. Our teacher once showed us a video, a study conducted in the United States, which found that men tend to seek young and beautiful women as partners, while women tend to seek men with strong economic ability and high social status. According to the explanation of evolutionary psychology, men choose partners based on reproductive and offspring goals, and young and beautiful women imply stronger reproductive ability. Women give birth to children after marriage, and they need a reliable and capable father for their children. Strong economic strength and high social status mean having more resources. In our reality, it is also the case that women tend to seek partners with strong economic ability. Of course, most relationships are still built on a foundation of love. Love and material possessions are both necessary ingredients for a good relationship. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2429
       },
       {
        "question": "How to reject some overly friendly people?",
        "description": "There are a few people in the workplace, mostly women. Whenever they encounter a problem, they would complain about how they cannot handle it and the leaders would easily agree to their requests, sometimes even assigning the tasks to me. They seem very righteous, but in my opinion, these are not big issues and they shouldn't make such a fuss. How should I deal with these kinds of people?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, interpersonal boundaries, colleagues",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi OP. Seeing your description, this is indeed a troubling issue. Sending you a virtual hug! I believe you know that having boundaries is necessary in interpersonal relationships. Boundaries can make our relationships more stable and balanced, and they are especially important in the workplace. For example, clear division of responsibilities is a form of boundaries. I won't elaborate on these things that I think you already know, because your concern is \"how\" to refuse. You want to know how to say no without being disturbed and without offending your leaders and colleagues. Here are some thoughts on how to say no: daring to refuse is difficult for many of us. We always worry that saying no is impolite or cold-hearted. But if we never learn to refuse, we will become more and more boundaryless. We will waste too much time and energy on unnecessary things, and force ourselves to do things we don't want to do or feel we shouldn't do, which will bring feelings of suppression and various negative emotions. So practicing saying no is a required course. In the process of practicing saying no, we also gradually build our courage and become more clear about what we want and what we don't want. We gradually understand and see what we truly think deep in our hearts. We also become more willing to fight for ourselves. Saying no is an important step in helping us become ourselves. When refusing, we should be decisive. We are used to not refusing, so when we start practicing saying no, there is always self-blame and doubt when refusing others. We feel guilty, unsure, and uncertain. Therefore, our refusals are always ambiguous or lack confidence, such as \"Let me see if I can do it for you,\" or \"Let me try, but I can't guarantee if I can help.\" But if we consider these as refusals, we not only make it difficult for ourselves but also hinder others. Because the other person will assume that you have agreed, and if you can't complete it on time due to various reasons, and the other person can't do it themselves in time, not only will you feel guilty, but the other person will also be angry, and it will also delay things and time. Therefore, once we have made up our minds and determined that \"I want to refuse this matter, I don't want to do it,\" a firm refusal is the best choice for both parties: - Accepting our own limitations, \"I'm sorry, I really want to help you, but I can't.\" - Purely not wanting to help: \"I'm sorry, I can't help/I can't do it!\" You don't always have to find a reason to tell others or convince yourself to have the confidence to refuse. You have the confidence and freedom to say no, so you can refuse without any reason and dare to refuse. This will also earn the respect of others. After a few times, your colleagues and leaders might think to themselves, \"Oh, OP has become more capable.\" They will know that you have boundaries and principles. If your leader is smart, they will definitely see your growth in this aspect and appreciate and value you more. Having boundaries can also provide flexibility. After we learn and dare to refuse, we can have some flexibility based on our feelings and circumstances. Does having flexibility mean not refusing and accepting everything? No, this flexibility is not about sacrificing and not daring to refuse anymore. Now we can refuse with peace of mind. We can choose to help or not. Regardless of our choice, we can be at peace with ourselves. Our inner psychological flexibility will also increase. I hope this is helpful to you. Blessings to you: Smooth sailing in your career! The world and I love you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Congratulations, it seems that your workplace is a government-funded organization, right? From the looks of it, there are quite a few colleagues in your workplace who like to shirk responsibility and make excuses. You think that what they did wasn't a big deal, but they cunningly exploited it, knowing that you are easily influenced. So, there's a saying, \"fight fire with fire.\" Treat others the way they treat you.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 10628
       },
       {
        "question": "My boyfriend has tendencies of depression, what can I do to help him?",
        "description": "My boyfriend has been showing signs of depression recently. He doesn't want to talk and just wants to be alone and do nothing. It has been going on for a while now. What can I do to help him? Should I try to cheer him up or just let him be and stay quiet?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, there is a movie called \"Husband with Depression\" that I recommend you to watch. The production team specially invited a psychiatric expert as a consultant to ensure that there are no medical inaccuracies in the film. This movie realistically portrays the life of an individual and a couple dealing with depression, for example: #The wife learns a lot of knowledge to understand what depression is, its symptoms, and how to treat the patient. #The wife accompanies her husband to quit his job and experiences the daily agony of crowded subway commutes, saying, \"I finally realize how hard it is for you to go to work every day. Thank you for all these years.\" Upon hearing this, the husband feels understood and bursts into tears on the subway. #After quitting his job, the husband attempts suicide in the bathroom due to feeling neglected and impatient by the wife who is busy with her comic drawings. Thankfully, the wife saves him, and they both cry and embrace each other. Support, acceptance, understanding, and care are all vital for individuals with depression, and this movie will surely provide you with a lot of relatability and inspiration. However, as the girlfriend of someone with depression, you also need to take care of your own emotions because living with a person with depression is not easy. I suggest you can, like the female lead, chat with your best friend to ease your emotions or find other ways to avoid breaking down. It's great that your boyfriend has such a caring partner like you. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is clear that you care about your boyfriend and want to help him. First of all, we need to determine whether your boyfriend really has a tendency towards depression. There is a difference between having a tendency towards depression and simply having a temporary bad mood. What recent events have caused him to feel depressed? How long has he had this tendency towards depression? Has it started to affect his everyday life? Is it quite serious? By asking these questions, we can have a more accurate assessment of your boyfriend's situation and then think about how to help him. If he is just temporarily feeling down, you can think back to your past experiences and see if there is anything that has been supportive for him, and try to follow those successful experiences. What kind of companionship does he prefer from you? You can also ask for his opinion. In addition, you can face the event that has been affecting his emotions together and think about what you can do to change it, even if it is a small action. Once the issue is resolved, his mood may improve. If he is indeed showing signs of depression, and it has been going on for a while, and it is affecting his daily life, causing constant unhappiness, then in addition to the suggestions mentioned above, you can also suggest that he seek psychological counseling. Seeking help from professionals can give you the strength to make changes in the situation of depression. However, I would like to add one more thing, we should try to avoid \"labeling\" our friends with their current state, such as using words like \"depression tendency\". Instead, it is better to describe specific behaviors that have occurred, for example, after taking exams last week, he has been feeling down, avoiding me, no longer watching his favorite matches, and even refusing to play games online. He says he just wants to be alone and quiet. What should I do? The latter approach helps us to solve the actual problems more effectively, and often after describing them, it becomes clearer what we can do. Best wishes, Jiang Jiang.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 19793
       },
       {
        "question": "What are the methods of emotion regulation?",
        "description": "We may experience various negative emotions in life. So, what methods should we use to regulate when negative emotions come? Are there any practical ones?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Here are a few suggestions to regulate your emotions, hoping they can help you: 1. Shift your focus by engaging in activities you enjoy, such as reading jokes or watching funny movies. This can effectively divert your attention. 2. Breath regulation: use meditation techniques to regulate your breathing, which can effectively regulate your emotions. 3. Listen to music: playing soothing background music or your favorite tunes can also effectively regulate your emotions. 4. Release emotions appropriately: choose suitable ways to release your emotions, which can also have a good regulatory effect (such as crying). 5. Self-awareness: effective self-awareness can help you identify the causes of your emotional fluctuations and find solutions.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Negative emotions are possible for everyone, and we can regulate our emotions through various methods. Here, I also provide you with some suggestions that you can try: 1. Maintain a balance between work and rest, pay attention to resting and exercising your body. Nowadays, life is too hectic, causing us to frequently encounter various social pressures. In daily life, don't always be busy without taking breaks. It is important to give yourself time to rest, which can help regulate emotions. Additionally, moderate exercise not only improves physical fitness, but also releases substances that make you happy, making you feel happier. Sleep is also a natural remedy for regulating emotions. When you rest well, you will feel energized and your mood will naturally improve. In summary, it is recommended to have a regular daily schedule, participate in appropriate exercise, and improve physical fitness. The body is the foundation of everything, cherish it, and your body will feel relaxed, which will naturally reflect in your emotions. 2. Be kind to others and establish good interpersonal relationships. Feeling supported by society can also help improve your mood. If a person excels in all aspects but cannot find help during critical moments or someone to share or alleviate their burdens, then their emotions will not find an outlet, and naturally, their emotions will not improve. Therefore, in our daily lives, we should try to interact with others more. There is no need to deliberately please or cater to others, nor should we have excessive demands on others. Remember, in psychology there is a \"golden rule\": Treat others as you would like to be treated! We don't need to expect any specific response from others, when we treat others well, our inner self can also feel a sense of peace. In fact, most people can also sense your kindness and sincerity, and they will naturally have a certain liking for you and be willing to establish good interpersonal relationships with you. 3. Add some fun to your lifestyle to relieve stress, such as taking a hot bath, going for a walk, listening to relaxing music, practicing meditation, reading, writing, painting, etc. All of these activities can help alleviate your emotions. Before work, give yourself a sense of ritual. In doing so, under the habit that you have developed, following the ritual while doing things won't create too much resistance in your inner self. Having a regular lifestyle will also give you the energy to do more things.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~~~ In modern society, with the accelerated pace of life, people's moods rise and fall with the rapidly changing environment. Emotional release has always been advocated by counselors and many mental health researchers as a way to deal with one's emotions. Reasonably venting and expressing one's emotions has a very good effect on alleviating extreme feelings in individuals. Everyone has different ways of venting their emotions. Common methods include talking to trusted family and friends, exercising, reading, sleeping, etc. In addition, everyone has different ways of relaxation. Painters express their emotions through their works, musicians express their emotions through music. Therefore, it is generally recommended that everyone have a hobby or interest of their own. This is like having an additional way of expression and a path for emotional release when feeling frustrated or upset. I hope this helps.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11514
       },
       {
        "question": "Lack of love, preferring mature women, liking relationships with age differences, is it okay to marry an older woman?",
        "description": "Lack of love since childhood, attracted to mature women, sometimes sensitive to women of auntie age, can I marry an auntie in the future?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "As the OP said, liking mature women can be a manifestation of lacking maternal love, but it is not absolute. Sometimes, the attraction towards someone of the opposite sex can have multiple reasons. Regardless, as long as it is genuine love, age, appearance, and background are just external factors. As long as there are no obstacles in one's own heart, the choice is one's own freedom.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13240
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I sometimes doubt who I am?",
        "description": "I often find myself doubting who I am. What would happen to the people around me if I had never existed in this world? And if I were to leave this world, how would the people around me react? Why do such thoughts come to mind? Is this kind of thinking normal?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, each of us has many unknown things in this world, so we have always approached this world with a curious heart. Having such thoughts is not always a bad thing, but if you constantly think like this, it will affect your normal life. You are yourself, a unique person, there will never be two identical leaves in the world, so for us humans, there will never be two completely identical people. Our existence certainly has meaning. It depends on whether you are willing to make an effort and have eyes to discover beauty. Sometimes being curious about the world is also a good thing because curiosity gives us the motivation to explore. And through exploration, we are more likely to discover our own value. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11913
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel that my parents are Graland. What should I do?",
        "description": "I'm 26 years old, and since I was young, my parents have always been obsessed with money and constantly instilled in me the idea that spending money is sinful. According to the Engel coefficient, our family is considered well-off, but our quality of life is even worse than that of an average family who can afford basic needs. I always feel that my parents love money more than they love me, and because of this, I have harbored a lot of hatred towards them. When I was young, I didn't have much pocket money. It wasn't until middle school that my parents started giving me a little bit. In high school, I only received 400 yuan as monthly allowance, and in my first and second year of university, I only had 500 yuan per month. Elementary and middle school education was free, and in high school, I had a scholarship, so education didn't cost much. When I graduated from university, my parents stopped providing for me. I had to earn and spend money by myself. Previously, I spent 16,000 yuan on a preparatory course for postgraduate studies, which was my own money. In addition to that, I had to pay the mortgage. As a result, my savings were depleted. I had no choice but to ask my parents for money, but the way they looked at me was as if I were asking for their flesh and blood. It made me feel really uncomfortable. Am I not their daughter? I didn't ask for much, just 800 yuan. I just don't understand why it's so difficult for me, while people my age around me seem to ask their parents for money as easily as drinking water.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The author's experience is really similar to mine. I am already in my 30s, but the influence from my parents still exists. However, unlike the author, I was the one assimilated, while the author had different opinions and I truly admire that. I have a younger brother and my mom often praises me to others, saying that XX (me) doesn't spend money recklessly like XX (my brother) who spends money all the time. When I was young, parents were everything, so whatever they said was right. I always had this thought that spending money recklessly was wrong and asking parents for money was wrong too. In high school, when I lost some money, I managed to survive with 10 yuan for 7 days, and I didn't feel miserable at all. In fact, I was proud of myself for saving money for the family. I didn't realize this issue until I started dating my partner. I don't not love her, I do love her. I have always had part-time jobs and I give all my salary to her. However, I can't stand going out to eat together. She is a very bourgeois girl and always chooses expensive places to eat. Actually, with our salaries, we can afford it, but I feel extremely uncomfortable and even get angry. But I know deep down that she is right, I have no reason to get angry at her. I was also confused about where my anger was coming from. Later, after some introspection, I realized that I was brainwashed since childhood, brainwashed by my parents. When we go out to eat, at a subconscious level, I would think my partner did something wrong. But at a conscious level, I know there's no issue. For a long time, when we go out, she would eat something nice and I would choose the cheapest option for myself. I love her, but if I hadn't studied psychology, I might have ended up like your parents. I think what hurt the most for the author is feeling that their parents don't love them. No matter who experiences this, it is a very painful thing. And it is indeed the case, if they are not willing to spend money on you, how can they claim to love you? When I was in college, I read the Analects of Confucius and there was a story about Confucius borrowing an umbrella. When it rained and Confucius and his disciples passed by Zixia's house, someone suggested borrowing an umbrella from Zixia. But as soon as Confucius heard it, he said, \"No, Zixia is quite stingy. If I borrow it, he won't give it to me, and others will think he disrespects his teacher. If he does give it to me, he will definitely be heartbroken.\" Nobody is perfect, everyone's situation is different, and the standard for measuring love should also be diverse. Besides money, did your parents make you feel loved in other ways? Did they give you money when you needed it despite being stingy? If they did, then maybe you can forgive or accept your stingy parents. But if they didn't, why should we accept parents who don't love us?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, from the question, it can be seen that the questioner is not so much complaining about their parents caring about money as they believe that their parents value money more than they value their own child. Therefore, let's first analyze the importance that the questioner's parents place on money. Each person's perception of money is developed over a long period of time. During this period, various factors such as illness and poverty can lead to an excessive emphasis on money. So, did the questioner's parents experience setbacks or harm due to lack of money when they were young? Secondly, people's values \u200b\u200bregarding money are also influenced by the times. In the era of the questioner's parents, you could buy high-quality goods with little money. And in that era, there was also little difference in product quality due to price discrepancies. Therefore, some people who have come from that era might not understand the rise in prices today and insist that goods that are cheap and usable are good. In addition, in the eyes of the older generation of parents, they have a more innocent perception of friendships among classmates. In their understanding, social interactions between classmates do not require money. However, as time goes by, the cost of socializing has also increased. If parents' thinking does not change with the changing times, it can lead to this kind of effect. As for what the questioner said about their parents not valuing them enough, this requires further communication between the questioner and their parents. First, the questioner needs to understand the reason why their parents save money. Many parents save money when they are young for retirement considerations, that is to say, the parents not providing financial support to their child now is to help the child save future expenses for supporting elderly parents. Secondly, the questioner can ask their parents if they have difficulty providing help to themselves due to financial constraints. If the questioner's parents are genuinely struggling to balance their income and expenses and have little surplus, the questioner should be able to understand. However, if the parents are involved in pyramid schemes or other scams, the questioner should be on high alert. In addition, the questioner's parents may have a psychological tendency to avoid responsibility. For example, \"I will ask less from you in the future, so I can contribute less to you now.\" It is difficult to determine the reasons for such situations from the questioner's description, but if such a situation arises, it indicates that the questioner's parents have a lack of security and retain immature values \u200b\u200bthat are somewhat similar to those of young children. If one wants to change this situation, professional intervention is needed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"It's not that your parents didn't give you money, you can say they are tight-fisted! When you ask them for money, try asking in the form of a loan. Secondly, try to connect the thing you want to do with your parents' interests. For example, if you want to buy a house, tell them that it will also be their home, where they can come and stay often. This is just an example, but remember to link it to their interests when asking them for money. Why do it this way? Because people naturally hate losses. Also, you don't know what kind of past your parents have, they may be very sensitive to money. In psychology, there is a loss aversion effect. It means that when faced with the same amount of [gain] and loss, people find losses more difficult to bear. In other words, people are much more sensitive to losses than to gains. In the past, Nobel Prize-winning economist Daniel Kahneman conducted an experiment where participants flipped a fair coin. If it landed on heads, they would receive $150, and if it landed on tails, they would lose $100. In the long run, this gamble is definitely a win, as the probability of winning and losing are the same, and the winnings are greater than the losses. However, the experimental result was that the majority of people still refused this gamble, because for most people, the pain of losing $100 is far greater than the pleasure of gaining $150. How much more happiness is needed to compensate for the pain of losing $100 for an average person? The answer is $200. People are more sensitive to pain. For most ordinary people, when facing uncertain results, they must have at least twice the guarantee of the risk. In other words, if you want your parents to give you money, you need to offer them a return of at least twice the amount. Of course, I understand that you may not be able to do that right now, but you can promise them. Maybe your aversion to losses is kicking in again and you think this won't work, but you need to know that it's not that your parents are unwilling to give you money, it's that your approach hasn't been effective in winning their hearts.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21059
       },
       {
        "question": "I often feel sad, like living in a dream, and it feels very unreal.",
        "description": "When I was very young, my father was diagnosed with kidney failure. Our family was not well-off, so my parents separated. I stayed with my father, but their relationship was very bad. Now I am in my second year of college, and for the past two years, I often think about unhappy things from my past, whether it's about my family or other aspects of my life. It makes me very sad, and I often feel like crying. I cannot concentrate, and everything feels like a dream, as if nothing is real. Sometimes I want to take a deep breath, but I try to appear normal and happy in front of others. Since I was young, I have thought of ending it all, but I always feel like there are still many places I haven't been to, and leaving like this would be such a waste. I also worry about my parents and friends, so I am in great pain. I want to seek psychological treatment, but I am afraid it will worry my parents.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological crisis, counseling and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through, and I'm sending you a big hug. You are a sensible child who cares about your parents, and even though they have separated, you still love them. I also believe that you are someone who loves life and enjoys traveling, exploring different landscapes, and experiencing different lifestyles. However, the pressure from your family is making you feel very uncomfortable and even affecting your daily life. My suggestion is that you seek psychological therapy and honestly communicate this issue with your parents. In the process of overcoming this hurdle, you need the support and help of your parents. Family is the people who can understand and share your pain, so I believe they will be willing to accompany you to get through this difficult time. Be brave and face your problems, and I wish you all the best. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I have been providing psychological counseling to students in college. I fully support you seeking psychological counseling in your situation. Universities have counseling centers that will support you. It seems that you have lacked support since childhood, and it appears that your parents are finding it difficult to take care of you and support you. Despite these conditions, the fact that you are able to attend college shows that there is still inner strength within you. However, being alone for a long time can often make you feel heavy, powerless, and directionless. Your parents' concerns are not what you think. Assuming you don't actively seek help, if your parents care about you, they will be even more worried and helpless. Now they cannot support you, so if you can take the initiative to seek help, it shows that you have the desire to make efforts and gradually struggle out of a difficult situation. How can this make your parents worry? Unless they are too weak to even consider this. They can't handle the slightest disturbance. So, you have even less reason to worry about them. Because if you can't even take care of yourself, how can you take care of them? Right now, you need to stand firm for yourself first, without considering others. Once you have the strength, then you can think about taking care of your parents. In addition, I recommend that you participate in some group therapy sessions. You will meet people who have had similar experiences as you, and everyone is working hard and can support each other in moving forward. It won't feel so powerless. Wishing you the best, Zhang Jinping, a Psychological Counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5251
       },
       {
        "question": "My boyfriend wants to change jobs and is feeling restless inside. How can I help him?",
        "description": "My boyfriend is currently twenty-five years old. He used to work on a construction site, earning a decent income but suffering from the hardships and having a poor mental well-being. Therefore, he wants to switch jobs. However, starting a new job means a significant income gap compared to his previous job, and he is afraid to take this step. How can I help him?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The only thing you need to do to help him is to encourage him to meet new people. If he is the one asking questions, there can be many opportunities for further discussion. But since you are the one being asked, and not directly involved, you don't need to do too much. In my opinion, the two of you have probably discussed everything you could on a rational level, but he hasn't made a firm decision yet, indicating that he is not emotionally prepared. Why should he meet new people? And what kind of people should he meet? These two questions cannot be explained logically. Since he is not emotionally prepared, you need to start from an emotional perspective and use the life he aspires to as a way to motivate his determination. So, it's not just about finding anyone to introduce him to a different lifestyle; it's about finding people who lead the kind of life he aspires to and have similar experiences. Actually, when deciding if a job is what you want, you can look at someone around you who has a similar background and see if the life they are currently living is what you want. Now what you need to do is encourage him to have these kind of people around him. Because knowing these people personally will enhance the sense of connection to this kind of life, and it will be easier for him to believe that he can also achieve it, thus taking the first step to improve his current life. Of course, meeting these people doesn't mean he can proceed without any concerns, so you may still need to discuss some rational aspects. For example, how much salary difference can he accept after changing jobs? How long can he tolerate this gap? Which cities should he consider working in to reduce the gap? There are many questions that you need to discuss again. For now, what you need to do is encourage him to broaden his horizons and see more possibilities in life. Meeting new people is one of the most direct ways, and he can participate in online activities to meet more people. When he faces the job change with a positive attitude, you can also discuss other topics such as building personal competitive advantages, but that involves other content.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When we gain something, we inevitably have to give up something, so we need to learn to make choices. 1. Which is more important, income and job satisfaction, or personal growth? Working at a construction site is indeed tough and exhausting, and the monotonous daily routine can be annoying. However, it offers a decent income, so it is reasonable to trade hard work for high returns in essence. After changing jobs, life will become much easier, even though we may have to start from scratch. As long as our direction is right and the new career we pursue shows promising prospects for development, it is acceptable to accept temporary low income. If after changing jobs, we are not prepared or feel bored with life again, how should we deal with this situation? Sometimes, we should not place all our hopes on changing jobs but rather understand the purpose of the job switch and whether it can truly bring us comfort. 2. Sometimes, choice is more important than effort. If the questioner's boyfriend has a certain foundation, and both parties do not have significant financial pressure for the time being, as well as some savings, we can indeed have backup plans. For example, we can learn in advance about the recent employment situation in the industry we plan to enter, analyze the advantages and disadvantages of the other person, and then make an analysis based on our own abilities and the industry's development to see if there are better ways to handle the situation. If neither of us has significant savings and there is a certain financial burden, then we can try to earn more money together and find ways to improve our abilities in our spare time, encouraging each other and working hard together. I believe the end result will not be too bad. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer is helpful to you. You are facing a dilemma and suffering because of your boyfriend's career choice. You want to help and support him as a girlfriend, but you're not sure how to do so. Career planning and choices are something we all have to go through in life. You can encourage your boyfriend and have him take a career test to see which jobs may be more suitable for him. You can also sit down together and discuss the issues he is facing in his current job, such as feeling unhappy, mentally exhausted, or lacking a fulfilling personal life. Determine if these problems can be resolved or eased in any way. Is it the job itself, or is he unable to find effective solutions to certain issues? There is no perfect job, and every profession has its hidden difficulties. If your boyfriend decides to change jobs, consider if his current savings can alleviate any financial impact and assess the prospects for the new job, including opportunities for promotion and the skills and conditions required for advancement. Gather information from various sources and help your boyfriend gain a better understanding of potential new jobs, so he can make an informed decision. In this matter, you can listen to your boyfriend more, show understanding and encouragement, and guide him in listing and comparing the pros and cons of his current job and new opportunities, and how they align with his present circumstances. You can also try to relax a bit and understand that this is a hurdle he needs to overcome. Being a supportive girlfriend can give him more strength. Ultimately, whatever decision he makes, you should be supportive. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14590
       },
       {
        "question": "I read \"No Longer Human,\" but I feel too suppressed to handle it.",
        "description": "I read \"No Longer Human\", written by Osamu Dazai, who attempted suicide five times. I surprisingly understood the narrative of this book, as I have had a similar experience myself. During my internship, I felt extremely insignificant, trying to please everyone, constantly worrying about how the supervising teacher would perceive me, and afraid of everything. But in the end, I felt like I had become a joke. Reading this book made me want to cry, shout, and rebel. However, I understand what the author wanted to convey, yet at the same time, I don't understand. I wish I could have someone to talk to about this book. Is it possible?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work, and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I read the book \"No Longer Human\" last year too. However, because the content was too negative, I couldn't understand some of the stories and the characters' psychology, so I gave up on it. But based on what I read, I feel that the author may not necessarily be trying to convey any particular ideas. He might just be expressing his own emotions and feelings, and the process of writing might be his way of seeking someone who can understand him. Sometimes, we have to admit that not all words convey so-called life philosophy. Some authors write books just to express and record their emotions, using an artistic approach to intensify their emotions and release everything they have experienced or expressed in real life through words. Therefore, it is enough to achieve emotional resonance, and there is no need to understand what he is talking about. Even if you were to ask the author this question right now, sitting in front of you, he might not be able to give you an accurate answer! Time changes, situations change, and feelings change too! So, just enjoy the spiritual enjoyment it brings you, and don't bring it into your life! Especially negative viewpoints, just understand what they are and don't apply them to yourself. The above is my analysis and suggestion, hoping it will be helpful to you! Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This book is toxic. When I read it in college, I became depressed afterwards. It felt like the author was speaking to the depths of my soul, expressing what I dare not express. Many years have passed, and I have forgotten the specific content, but I still remember the discomfort I felt after reading it. I have long since overcome it, so let me share my experience. First, there is no doubt that this book is very true, it reveals the truth of being human. But why did the author commit suicide after seeing this truth instead of living more clearly? Simply because the author is a weak person. No matter how high his intelligence, he cannot face the world, he is timid. Haven't many great monks and masters also seen the truth of this world? Why do they live so openly? Because they have compassion. A person who only thinks of themselves can only see the cruelty of life, the cruelty of the world, everyone wants to harm them, and no one is worth relying on. But why do you demand others to be good to you, without taking the first step to bring light to this dark world? Osamu Dazai was a cowardly and selfish person. Secondly, we are used to hearing that this world is bright and beautiful, so we are immune to such literature. Osamu Dazai is good at describing the inner world, it is very relatable, but he poses questions without providing answers and he ended up committing suicide himself, which leaves the readers in despair. Does this cruel world really have no answers? It does. This world does have answers, but Osamu Dazai didn't find them. He saw through the cunning nature of the self, the hypocrisy behind the mask, and realized that this world is like a huge masquerade, he couldn't fit in with himself and this kind of world, but why don't others collapse? He didn't want to blend in, but it was so painful. However, so many people resonated with his books, indicating that the world is indeed like that, and it's not his fault. On one hand, he isn't at fault, there's nothing wrong with the truth deep within him. On the other hand, he is at fault, he wore many masks to fit into this world, losing himself, and this false self has problems. He couldn't distinguish between the true self and the false self, slowly getting lost. The false self needs to be corrected, while the true self needs to be upheld, they are not contradictory. After saying so much, I don't even know what I'm saying... Anyway, when I finished reading this book back then, I denied myself to death, felt that life had no meaning, and had no support. However, behind the virtual world, there is a real world. After seeing the false emotions behind the virtual world, there is no need for despair, because this is the path you must take to find the real world. The key is to understand that all beings struggle in the virtual world, just like you. How can you change and become optimistic again? Go to the other side~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13341
       },
       {
        "question": "I clearly stood up for them, why are they targeting me instead??",
        "description": "I remember one year my mom and I excitedly went to attend my younger brother's graduation ceremony. We had a hard time finding him because we didn't know the way, and when we finally found him, his attitude was very cold. We were tired and thirsty from being exposed to the sun, following him around, but he didn't care about us. Even though he knew we were waiting, he was busy taking pictures with others and didn't even bother to take the flowers we specially bought for him. I was very angry, but my mom was still enthusiastic, ignoring the scorching sun and running around with him, wearing high heels. Seeing her like that, I was both angry and frustrated with my brother's behavior, and I felt both heartbroken and puzzled about why my mom, despite his behavior, still acted this way. I blamed her, saying, \"Why bother following him when he doesn't even want to acknowledge you?\" But she persisted. What surprised me was that on the way back home after leaving the school, she suddenly attacked me, speaking in a harsh and mocking tone, \"His school is much better than yours. The female students there dress properly, unlike those in your school.\" I was stunned. I clearly felt sorry and valued her, and I clearly traveled a long way to celebrate for him, but he didn't want to acknowledge us. So, why... why did I do something wrong? Why did my mom say such things and attack me? Isn't it him who ignored us?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. You and your mom went to your younger brother's graduation ceremony with great excitement, but it was a tiring journey and your brother didn't show much interest in you both. You stood up for your mom, but she scolded you, which made you feel very unjust. I understand your feelings because you know how hard you and your mom have worked. After finding your brother, he didn't show any affection towards you, and he didn't even take the flowers you specially bought for him. You clearly felt sorry for your mom, but ended up being mocked and hurt. However, looking at it from your mom's perspective, she went to her son's school to attend the graduation ceremony. She didn't consider it tiring at all; instead, she saw it as an honor and her own happiness. Even if she had to travel back and forth, she was happy inside. But at this moment, she faced criticism from another son who tried to stop her from doing what she wanted. She must have been somewhat unhappy deep down. So at this moment, the best filial piety we can show is to be obedient. As long as our mom is happy, we should unconditionally support her. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1883
       },
       {
        "question": "I got angry with my parents over trivial matters, and every time they would play the act of sacrifice for you.",
        "description": "Today I wanted to drink water, but then I realized there was no hot water. My dad had boiled some water and left it to cool, then he brought it over for me to drink. At that moment, I was in the middle of playing a game, so I told him to leave it there and insisted on drinking later. He said he had gone out of his way to do something nice for me and I didn't appreciate it. I got a little angry and told him to leave it there, I would drink it later. Then he started complaining about how he wanted to drink it himself but held back just to give it to me. Every time my dad does something, he always emphasizes how much he sacrifices and how difficult it is for him. It made me speechless, so I let him drink it first. Then he started saying how playing games is bad and eating outside is bad. I exploded... A tragedy caused by a glass of water. Honestly, it seems easier to interact with strangers from my perspective. Strangers wouldn't care if I drank or not. If they want to be nice to me, they would just give it to me and not bother about it anymore, even if I didn't drink it, they wouldn't make me feel guilty. It almost made me laugh. My family isn't poor at all, but there's always this drama of \"how much I love you\" and \"how much I sacrifice for you\". It's like we can't afford good fruit or even water. And then he thinks I don't appreciate it, as if I haven't been doing what he expects, like being deeply moved and doing everything he says, even if it's just a little late, he would nag me to death. So annoying, I don't want to be his daughter anymore.",
        "keywords": "family, family relationships, parent communication, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate, seeing your question reminds me of a large group of high school students like you who have similar concerns. Fortunately, it seems that your relationship with your parents is still okay, but the last sentence is quite cute and annoying, like you're sulking and throwing a tantrum. However, there are many high school students whose relationships with their parents have been completely messed up because of similar issues, making their parents sad and the children angry, turning their homes into battlefields. Let's take a look at why things turn out this way. - 1. While you were playing a mobile game and getting to the most intense part, I happened to be playing a game too... In your own world, dealing with your matters, you didn't tell your dad what you were doing and how much time you needed when he brought water for you. - 2. Your dad thought you should drink the water first, thinking that the game wasn't as important as hydrating, not knowing that you were dealing with a crucial situation. - 3. Your dad only saw the reality of you playing games without drinking water. This made him think about many things, so he started nagging. - 4. You didn't care about why your dad was nagging, you only heard the content of his nagging, which is the same old stuff, so you started feeling annoyed. Actually, the root cause is a lack of clear communication. If you had told your dad that you were in an intense part of the game and only needed a minute, for example, and asked him to just leave the water there, he probably wouldn't have nagged anymore, and you wouldn't have felt annoyed. Timely communication is very important, and most conflicts between parents and children arise from poor communication. Parents care most about their children's physical and mental health, and what they most want to know is what their children are thinking. If children can express their thoughts and reasons for their actions in a timely manner, it will reduce a lot of conflicts. - Now that we've covered the problem, let's look at some of the things you said in a sulking tone. In my opinion, it's better to interact with strangers. They don't care if I drink or not. If they want to be nice to me, they'll bring it, and once they do, they won't bother anymore, even if I don't drink it, they won't make me feel guilty. I'm almost dying laughing. My family is not poor at all, but every time we have to act out this play of \"how much I love you and sacrifice for you,\" as if we can't afford to eat good fruits or drink water. And then they think I don't appreciate it, as if I didn't follow their expectations, wow, so moved and do it according to what they say, even if it's just a little late, they would nag me to death, so annoying, I don't want to be their daughter anymore. - After reading this, try to feel how you are feeling right now. - Finally, I invite you to answer a question and think back to what just happened: Daughter is playing a game, father boils water, cools it down, and brings it over. Daughter doesn't drink it, father insists on making the daughter drink it, and the daughter starts feeling annoyed. With this scene in front of you, the question is: If you were the parent and your child was playing a game, what would you do?",
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          "answer_text": "Your father gets angry because he has an expectation. He thinks that by being good to his daughter and refraining from drinking water, he has done something great and that his daughter will appreciate it. But everything doesn't go as he anticipated. His daughter is playing games and doesn't want to drink the water he painstakingly prepared. In his mind, there is a gap - how come no one sees or appreciates the things he does? So he becomes furious and pours this emotion onto the person who doesn't meet his expectations. Of course, you don't buy into his account. In your mind, you're thinking that it's not like I asked you to pour me water, and besides, when can't water be drunk? I'm busy playing games. So in this scenario, everyone is living in their own script and not considering that real life is unpredictable. Your father is wrong in being too selfless and having high expectations of others. He hopes that his sacrifices will be met with gratitude. He doesn't consider himself and would rather go thirsty to let his daughter drink first, thinking that she will surely be grateful to him, and that will bring him satisfaction. In fact, if he could be more loyal to himself, treat himself better, be a little more selfish, and satisfy himself when thirsty and then give water to his daughter, he wouldn't be so angry. Because his need has been met, he doesn't need others to be grateful to him. And other people's actions and responses are unpredictable, so disappointment is likely. I believe the original poster should also experience this in daily life. For example, if you really like someone and carefully prepare a gift for them, but then find out that they don't like it and even show a bit of disdain, you will inevitably be extremely disappointed and may even blame the friend for not appreciating it and wasting your heartfelt intention. But the friend's reaction is not actually about you, they just didn't have that need, which is something your father needs to learn to recognize. So your father may need some mindset shifts, to love himself, prioritize his own needs rather than expecting others to praise his sacrifices. This way, he won't feel so aggrieved and keep complaining that you haven't responded to his sacrifices. However, if your father becomes a selfish person, as a daughter, you may need to do many things on your own. For example, your father may not boil water for you, so you need to do it yourself and let it cool down. And what you need to do is to understand your father's mindset as much as possible and be understanding. If there are difficulties, you can live independently and do everything yourself. Your father won't be able to do anything for you naturally, and there won't be any expectations.",
          "has_label": false,
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          "answer_text": "#You wanted to drink water, but found out there was no water. Your father boiled and cooled some water for you;# Your father wanted you to drink water immediately, but you were in an important moment of the game, which caused your father to become \"upset\" and talk about many other things;# You were annoyed by your father's \"mental blackmail\" and \"self-sacrifice\". 1. What is your role in front of your parents? I don't know how you usually interact with your parents. It is too hasty to infer from just one incident. I guess you may complain about your parents \"giving too much and deliberately self-sacrificing\", while also enjoying and needing this special care from your parents. For example, if there is no water, why didn't you boil water yourself? You are not an incapable child, so have you taken care of your parents? What is your role in front of your parents, a \"child who needs to be taken care of\" or a \"capable child who can take care of themselves\"? The above is not my judgment on you, hoping to provide you with a perspective for consideration. 2. When you change, your parents will also change. This is still following the content of the first point. If you start to try not to rely on your parents, take care of yourself more, and show your parents your ability and determination to take care of yourself, then I think your parents will change accordingly. They will also reflect on whether \"my child has grown up, he can take care of himself, should we parents respect the child more and let go.\" 3. Some practical communication suggestions. Why does your father insist on making you drink water immediately? I guess your father wants you to notice him, pay attention to him, and express gratitude. Next time, I suggest communicating with your father like this: when you see your father bringing water, say, \"Wow, dad, you are so thoughtful. Thank you for bringing me water. Dad, are you thirsty? Have you had water? I am in the middle of a game now, but I will drink right after finishing. Thank you, Dad!\" Take the initiative to express attention and gratitude to your father, so he won't talk a lot. This is my answer. It may not fully understand your question, but I hope it provides you with some perspectives to consider~.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, it's very simple to solve this problem. Just tell them that you don't want to be with them anymore and stop using their money. That way, you can have complete control over your own time and life, be with any strangers you like, and eat when you have money or work for yourself when you don't. If you're tired, you don't need to seek solace from them, and if someone bullies you, just go to the police. Give it a try. Maybe you will enjoy that kind of freedom. Love and meticulous care can become a burden when you are able to receive this love.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 16252
       },
       {
        "question": "I want to retake the undergraduate entrance exam. What is the experience like to study for another year?",
        "description": "School just started recently, but I want to go back and redo a year. I am not satisfied with completing a specialized diploma; I want to try again and aim for a bachelor's degree.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and learning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your question, I can see that you are a very proactive and ambitious person. You are not particularly satisfied with your admission to a vocational school and want to strive for it again by repeating the year, giving yourself a chance to make a new choice. Firstly, I want to affirm that your mindset is very positive, which shows that you have goals and are willing to put in the effort to achieve them. Now, should you repeat the year or not? I think first we can rationally analyze your own academic performance and why you didn't do well in this year's college entrance examination. If you usually have good grades but just didn't perform well on the exam, then repeating the year has a higher chance of success. On the other hand, if your foundation is weak and you want to improve your grades in just a few months, the risk is relatively high. Repeating the year is not an easy path. The psychological pressure on repeating students is much higher than for current year students. If you go to a repeating school, you will also have to work harder in your studies. Only with single-minded focus can you possibly achieve good results on the college entrance examination. Are you prepared for all of this? Currently, you are studying at a vocational school, but this doesn't mean it is your ultimate goal in life. Choosing to study calmly at a vocational school also gives you the opportunity to pursue further studies and take the graduate school entrance exam. Choosing to go back and work hard on repeating the year also gives you the opportunity to get into a regular university. Although life's journey is filled with choices at every turning point, it is the effort we put into each choice that will steer us in different directions. No matter what choice you make, the important thing is to decide and not regret it, and look ahead. Keep up the good work, young person! I wish you the best, your world and someone who loves you~",
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        ],
        "questionID": 6377
       },
       {
        "question": "The head teacher of high school changed and I feel lost. I have lost motivation to study and I am not happy.",
        "description": "In my first year of high school, I particularly admired a teacher. Unexpectedly, in my second year, he became the class teacher. During my second year, I learned a lot because of him, such as how to be tolerant towards others, study methods, and the drawbacks of getting things without putting in effort, etc. In some ways, I developed a sense of dependency on him. I thought that under his guidance, I would smoothly enter my third year and study even harder. However, to my surprise, my class teacher was changed in the third year due to various reasons. As a result, during the past two months of supplementary classes in my third year, I have sometimes lacked motivation, felt like crying, and at the same time, I am worried and disappointed in myself for not being as good as before.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: People need role models. The power of role models not only drives oneself forward in behavior, but more importantly, in spirit. This teacher is your role model, and there are many aspects of them that attract you. Therefore, their arrival and departure deeply influence you. Perhaps during this period of time, you still need their presence, but the teachings they left behind should still be in your heart. Analyzing the problem: 1. In high school, you particularly admired a teacher, and unexpectedly, they became your homeroom teacher in the second year. (This is a commendable thing and, for you at that time, I think it was like adding wings to a tiger.) 2. In the second year of high school, because of this teacher, you learned a lot, such as being tolerant towards others, study methods, the disadvantages of getting things without effort, and so on. In some aspects, you developed a sense of dependence on them. (Each of us hopes to have someone in our lives who can lead us and find direction in being a person and doing things. This teacher of yours must be very outstanding, regardless of their actions or deeds. At that stage, having admiration and dependence on them is normal and you are fortunate to have encountered this guiding figure.) 3. You thought that with their guidance, you would smoothly enter the third year and study even harder. But unexpectedly, due to various environmental reasons, the homeroom teacher was changed in the third year. Therefore, in the past two months of tutoring in the third year, sometimes you lack motivation, feel like crying, and at the same time, you worry and feel disappointed because you are not as good as before. (Your role model was suddenly taken away, and you are a bit bewildered. It's hard to adapt to such a quick transition. This teacher, who you entrusted with your spirit, has left, but the methods they taught you are still there, right? Also, don't worry, there will be other role models appearing. Just like that homeroom teacher who suddenly appeared, isn't it? Indeed, there are always changes in the world that we cannot predict. Let's take this as an important lesson in growth, just that it came during your third year. It wants you to understand that although many people and things in the world can change, many beautiful truths will not change. So, don't be afraid of people coming and going, gradually learn the essence, and you will have no fear.) Closing words: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you can gradually learn to tap into your own energy! If you have any confusion, you can send me a private message.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs and kisses to you. From your description, it seems that you have strong feelings for this teacher and have developed a dependence on him. In your freshman year, you admired him, and in your sophomore year, you were fortunate enough to become his student. However, in your senior year, you couldn't be in his class anymore. This must have caused you a great sense of loss and made you feel very upset. Our admiration and dependence on teachers usually occur during our student years when we don't have a stable belief system and a strong support system, so we tend to rely on our parents, teachers, and sometimes older family members or public figures. We see them as our guiding light, leading us forward. However, one day, when you grow up and become strong enough, you may no longer rely on that feeling of security brought by someone else, but instead rely on yourself to create your own path. But at this stage of your senior year, it may be difficult to adjust right away. So what should you do? Be honest with that teacher about your dependence and distress. Even though he is no longer your class teacher, he will always be your teacher, and you can talk to him about your troubles and sadness. I believe he will be willing to help you and accompany you through your high school journey. You can also talk to your current class teacher about your difficulties and sadness, letting him see the part of you that needs support and strength. I believe your current teacher will also try to assist you, providing you with support and care. Even though he is no longer your class teacher, he surely hopes his students can excel and have the ability to learn independently. He can still be your inspiration and your strength. With his expectations, I invite you to continue working hard and preparing for the college entrance exams. Good luck! I hope this can help you. The world and I love you~.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "It is such a fortunate and enviable thing to have encountered a teacher in high school whom you admire and who becomes your homeroom teacher. He taught you so much, both in terms of character and academics. This kind of emotional and psychological dependency you developed towards him is like the feelings one has for an older brother or even a father. The admiration, respect, and admiration you have for him make you hope to become someone like him, and you hope to be accompanied by him until you graduate from high school. However, in your senior year, due to various environmental reasons, you had to change homeroom teachers, which left you extremely disappointed and heartbroken. It felt like losing your most beloved treasure. This sense of loss deeply affected you, and as a result, you lost the motivation and drive you had in your studies before. Actually, you can share your feelings of sadness and sorrow with the teacher you admire. You can call, write a letter, or meet with him to discuss your feelings and current state. I believe he would also not want to be separated from you and your classmates. He can understand your feelings of disappointment and loss because he may also experience a similar sadness in his heart. But I believe this teacher will appear in your life to make you feel this warmth and help you become a better version of yourself, rather than depending on him for motivation. It's like when a young lion is born, the lion's parents teach it many skills. Once the young lion has learned these skills, one day it will be pushed out by its parents to face life on its own, as this is a natural occurrence in the animal kingdom. Whether you are willing to face it or not, you must learn to carry the skills and warmth you learned from that teacher into an independent life, and find your own path. This is the purpose of his presence in your life. One day, when you reach college, you may encounter friends, kindred spirits, or teachers who will reignite your motivation, but one day you will also inevitably separate due to graduation, as parting ways is inevitable. We need to learn to gradually accept and face this inevitability. Blessings to you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that your class teacher is not just a class teacher to you, but someone you admire, like, appreciate, and depend on. I wonder who you have transferred your feelings to, your father? An ideal spouse? Or someone else? Therefore, you have developed not only the feelings of a student towards a teacher, but also some other feelings. The reality is that he cannot always be by your side to accompany you, and his departure has caused various discomforts for you, affecting your studies and daily life. You need to adjust your mentality in a timely manner. If you have the opportunity, you can find a counselor to explore why you have such strong feelings for him, and why they are different from others and irreplaceable. More importantly, you should be aware of yourself, understand yourself, explore the deep needs within yourself, and learn to satisfy your own needs. My suggestion is to allow yourself to feel a bit uncomfortable at the moment, as this is normal. Do something, write a letter, write down your thoughts, thank him, bid farewell to him, and he doesn\u2019t need to know about these things, just keep it to yourself. Or you can tell him your feelings and gratitude face to face, listen to his advice, and approach it rationally. Remember, no one can accompany you all the time, and we need to learn to take care of ourselves. This is a great opportunity for you to explore and take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. You seem to be someone who is very emotional. You were originally looking forward to starting your third year of high school happily, but now you have to say goodbye to your favorite teacher, and you can't bear to part with him. This unexpected change has caused you to feel a sense of loss. We do encounter people who we don't want to say goodbye to because they have brought us great benefits. They can guide us in our studies and provide us with solutions to our problems. We are willing to learn from them and be guided by them. It gives us a sense of satisfaction knowing that we are learning and being taken care of, so we resist change. The outcome of change is unknown. You don't know if the next teacher will be as good as this one or better, and you have no control over it, so you resent losing what you have. Honey, separation is a big part of growing up, and what you can do is to accept and adapt. As a student in the third year of high school, our main focus should be on our studies. This may sound a bit cold-hearted, but it is our current main task. We are not studying for any particular teacher, right? In the past two years, this class teacher has won you over with his unique charm. Now, why not take a look and see if you have become independent in your learning and growth without him? Have you continued the study attitude and skills he taught you? If the answer is yes, then it means that the previous teacher's influence on you was profound and long-lasting. Also, give the new teacher some trust. At the beginning, you may have some resistance, but if you can let go of your resistance and objectively observe him, you may be pleasantly surprised to find hidden treasures in him. It's hard to repay a teacher's kindness, but you should know that the road ahead is still long. Perhaps in the future, when you have achieved something, the teacher may need your help, and then you might be able to share your journey with him. Actually, the people we admire, whether they are teachers or seniors, are like a beam of light. They have illuminated our path, but as we strive again and again, the number of times we remember them diminishes because we have gradually become our own light. But they will never be forgotten. You will know that in some corner of the world, there is still a beam of light standing there. And you, as someone who has seen the light, will never falter.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "It is really sad and frustrating to encounter this problem. I had a similar experience when I was in high school, although it was in my sophomore year, not senior year. I can really understand this feeling of being unable to express the discomfort. Sending you a virtual hug, hoping to bring you some comfort. Let me summarize the problems I saw, and you can check if I got them right. First, you admired a teacher in your freshman year. Second, the teacher you admired became the class teacher in your sophomore year. Third, during the time when your idolized teacher became the class teacher, you developed a deep emotional connection. Fourth, in your senior year, the class teacher was replaced by another teacher. Fifth, you felt extremely upset because of this, as if you lost motivation. Sixth, you were also disappointed with your own performance. Let me share my understanding and feelings. First, you admired this teacher in your freshman year, so it seems that this teacher must have been your subject teacher or a familiar teacher. Otherwise, how could you easily admire someone in your freshman year? Second, based on the degree of liking you have for this teacher, it seems that this teacher not only has good professional abilities but also makes you feel comfortable in their presence. Third, based on the depth of your sadness, I think in your heart, this teacher is not just a teacher but also an elder or friend. I'm reminded of what Confucius said, \"A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.\" I believe this teacher should meet this standard. Fourth, you felt really upset when the class teacher was changed. I think this is normal, and there is no need to blame yourself. Many times, when we like someone, it is not only about them but also about how we see ourselves in their eyes. In other words, in their presence, we can be a more likable version of ourselves. Fifth, you are somewhat disappointed with your own performance. There is a saying, \"Respect leads to awe.\" Even though this teacher is no longer your class teacher, you still want to be someone who can make them proud, but you haven't achieved that, and you are afraid of disappointing them. Let me give you a few suggestions. First, establish a connection with the teacher. Even though they are no longer your class teacher, they are still a teacher, and even if they are no longer at your school, you can still keep in touch. No matter where they are, their teachings stay in your heart. Second, accept your current state. It is within the normal range to feel upset for a period of time after such a major event. Nobody would handle this kind of thing perfectly. Third, if your distressing emotions are difficult to accept, you can seek counseling. Fourth, tell a teacher you trust about your state. I believe they can give you some help. I hope my answer can be of help to you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! This question immediately took me back more than ten years ago. At that time, after finishing the first year of high school, we had to choose between the arts and science streams. As someone who chose the science stream, I also faced the same dilemma of leaving beloved and familiar teachers to enter a new environment and start a new life. Later on, when I joined the new class, I discovered that many classmates felt the same way, missing the previous class and teachers so much that they even rejected their current teachers because of it. I think the possible reasons are: \u25c6 Familiarity often implies a sense of security. Many people naturally resist facing unfamiliar environments and crowds because it makes us feel unsafe and without a sense of belonging, leaving us feeling lost. That's why we often say: Change truly requires courage! \u25c6 The end of a relationship brings a profound sense of loss. A good teacher's influence on students is truly immense. Like you, I was deeply impacted by a teacher back then. Her care, expectations, and trust in me sparked a strong interest and unwavering motivation for learning. You have also built a deep teacher-student friendship with your teacher, and you may have become somewhat dependent on them. This relationship, which was enough to support you in successfully completing high school, suddenly ending, is bound to bring a deep sense of loss. How to overcome it: In terms of separation, the key is to handle the sense of loss and actively integrate into the new group. 1. Strive to face your true feelings since the change has already occurred, we need to make an effort to face our inner feelings, not resisting or avoiding them, but accepting the pressure, uneasiness, and even harm that this change brings us. 2. Express your emotions. When feeling sad, you can write in a journal, record your life, express your feelings and thoughts, and experience the healing power of words. 3. Say a proper goodbye. You can find a suitable time to have a conversation with your teacher, even prepare a small gift to bid farewell in both form and content. When my mentor and I separated, we exchanged books as a token of comforting each other. 4. Make more friends and integrate into the group. In the face of a new environment, actively participate in group activities and try to get to know some close friends as soon as possible. This way, you will have a sense of belonging and your life will gradually improve. Finally, I wish you a happy life and academic success!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand your feelings. You were very accepting of the class teacher's management style and teaching methods, but it may be difficult to adjust to a new teacher. It's natural to feel discouraged. However, let's look at the problem from a different perspective. Although it's your senior year and there is a lot of pressure, it's important to have your own learning pace and goals. If your learning is affected because of a change in the class teacher, it wouldn't be worth it. From another point of view, you need to learn to adjust and adapt to changes now, so that you can maintain an open mindset. I believe you will benefit from this.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear asker. It's as if I can see you through your words. Sending you a warm hug. The academic pressure in senior year is already overwhelming, and now you suddenly feel like you've lost your mental support. It's truly exhausting and life feels hopeless in an instant. Based on your description, it seems like your homeroom teacher is a very caring person who not only helps with academics but also provides you with correct understanding and hope in life. Such a warm-hearted individual, even if they are no longer your homeroom teacher, I believe they would still offer you the help you need if you reach out and depend on them. It wouldn't hurt for you to proactively talk to them and see if you can continue seeking guidance from them. Your study performance has been affected because you lost your mental anchor, but if you regain it, your grades will surely improve. Don't be too hard on yourself or worry too much. The coming year will be tough, but it will also be incredibly fulfilling. Take care, dear asker! My senior year has already passed, as well as the senior year of our generation. We can never go back, but I hope you live your senior year to the fullest, carrying the expectations of our senior year. The world and we will always love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Seeing your question, I wanted to give this kind and warm and perceptive girl (assuming you are a girl based on the words) a big hug. \"Whoyoulovewhoyouare,\" a saying from the West, in short, means that you are what kind of person you like. In psychological terms, this is called \"projection.\" When you see your teacher's efforts, tolerance, responsibility, and so on, that is actually you! Even in your few expressions, I am also inspired and moved by such a teacher. Therefore, we highly appreciate and recognize exemplary figures who become our driving force to strive forward, constantly gaining improvement and growth. Suddenly changing homeroom teacher feels like losing guidance, and your emotions have changed, sometimes unhappy, gradually affecting academic performance, and you may feel anxious, worried, or even disappointed because of your changes. Think about it, what does a teacher want to see the most? It's that their students become their pride, that they see their students become outstanding individuals under their guidance, and that they see their students achieve their life ideals and goals. This is the best feedback for a teacher, an example, and a spiritual mentor. If possible, you can continue to report your learning progress to this spiritual role model and ask them for guidance on learning and life difficulties. \"When I grow up, I will become like you,\" becoming someone positive, responsible, and hardworking like the teacher. I believe in you, you can become the best version of yourself.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8997
       },
       {
        "question": "Always feel unworthy? What kind of life is meaningful?",
        "description": "Parents are healthy, brothers and sisters are all happy, men are responsible and ambitious, and children are lively and sensible. Friends are supportive and reliable. However, I feel that I don't have the \"ability\" to enjoy the benefits that come with it. I always feel unworthy.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) Although you are currently happy, you feel unworthy. (2) You want to know what kind of life is meaningful. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping to help you: (1) Even though you have a happy family, is it because of your own insecurity that you feel unworthy? Or perhaps, having a smooth-sailing life actually makes you feel anxious? (2) You mentioned that you feel lacking in certain abilities, but what abilities are you referring to? Is it the ability to do something for your family? Maybe your existence is their comfort and expectation, don't you think? (3) The meaning of life probably lies in living as your true self, and it's important to enjoy the present moment. # The world and I love you, wishing you well~.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13920
       },
       {
        "question": "High school student, lacks trust with parents, and is also attracted to the same sex, can't go on...",
        "description": "I don't do well in my studies. My father forces me to study, he hits me, threatens me. He doesn't trust me and I don't trust him either. I'm very afraid of him, afraid of his cold violence and threats. I also feel that I have feelings for the same sex, that I am gay. My father keeps me locked in the room. I feel extremely suppressed and it feels like I'm only alive to study for him. Life feels meaningless, I want to commit suicide.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, growth process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, topic creator. Parents' pressure and threats regarding their children's studies can easily create a misconception in the child's mind: studying is doing things for the parents, not for oneself. I believe that both parents and children need to understand one thing: studying is one's own responsibility, and the only beneficiary of studying is oneself. Due to your father's pressure, threats, and punishments, your relationship has reached a state of mutual distrust and rigidity, and perhaps both sides have forgotten the initial purpose of urging you to study. Although pressure and threats are a form of harm, we must also acknowledge that this is an expression of your father's care and sense of responsibility, albeit using extreme and wrong methods. We not only need to see the surface behavior but also understand the motivations and reasons behind the behavior: hoping that you can study well and have a good future. Avoidance or rebellion is not the way to improve your relationship with your father. The only way is for you to truly understand that studying is your own responsibility and to be able to do it autonomously, consciously, and diligently. Only then can you regain your father's trust. Whether you are homosexual or not, there is no need to rush to conclusions. You can slowly become aware of your own feelings. Homosexuality is also a normal sexual orientation, and even if you are, you should not burden yourself with excessive psychological pressure. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In fact, communication is always the most important when dealing with parent-child relationships. However, communication is often what we lack the most with our parents. In fact, high school is already a stage where one can be relatively independent. You can actually tell your parents your true thoughts, and they may open up to you and tell you the purpose behind their actions. There are no parents who do not love their children. Regardless of whether their actions are reasonable or not, they definitely have their intentions. Communicate more with your parents, understand their thoughts, and let them understand yours. Everyone should try to put themselves in each other's shoes, and maybe things won't become so extreme. Regarding homosexuality, simply having a crush on someone of the same sex does not necessarily mean you are homosexual. It is only when you have sexual fantasies and desires towards that person that it can be called homosexuality. Even if you have these traits, it doesn't really matter. Homosexuality is not a disease or an anomaly; it is simply a normal part of our diverse society and deserves respect, sitting on an equal footing with all other groups. So, there's no need to worry too much or feel like you're becoming an outcast. In fact, everyone goes through this phase, where they start to contemplate their own life and the value of life, and they develop greater understanding of their surroundings and themselves. However, as immature individuals, we may not be able to process the information we receive in a comprehensive and rational manner. Based on your current understanding, you may feel lost in finding the meaning and value of life, and you may feel like you are being pushed around. This period also involves the development of self-identity, as mentioned in psychology. What you need to do is to try and become optimistic and cheerful, and actively explore your life goals, gradually firming your beliefs and putting in effort... In fact, being alive is a wonderful thing. As long as you are willing to discover, you will realize that value is everywhere.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Maybe when we are in pain, we feel particularly lonely and helpless inside. Perhaps many people, like the OP, want to ask the world: Why am I so lacking and helpless? Why is there no one who understands and loves me? What is the bottom line of my life? Do I have the qualification to become better?... But if we change the question to a \"fair and calm dialogue\": In how many ways can I slowly accumulate my own energy? The secret of being understood and loved, where is it hidden in this world? When I have nothing, will the ocean, the sunlight, the mountains and rivers, the trees, and everything else in this world still love me? What does it mean to \"become better\"? Can I define it?... Does changing the way of questioning also change the feeling?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13795
       },
       {
        "question": "24 years old, only focused on studying, why don't I have anyone of the opposite sex interested in me or confessing to me?",
        "description": "Girl, 24, has only focused on studying and being a good person since childhood and has never had a romantic relationship in school. Although she later had a boyfriend, this regret has always existed. That is, to naturally have someone like me and develop into a romantic relationship, instead of going on blind dates or social events to meet boyfriends. Other girls can have several boyfriends in one semester, but I haven't even had someone confess their feelings to me. I feel really difficult, so difficult. The most beautiful time in life is so short and time doesn't wait. I'm starting to feel hopeless now, crying every day, and even having thoughts of suicide. How can I console myself?",
        "keywords": "Love, single.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You seem to not like yourself very much but are eagerly hoping for boys to like you. The most beautiful time in life is so limited and time waits for no one. You have been using your precious time on regrets, being unable to let go, and crying. Even if time is meant to be wasted, it should be wasted on interesting things, on things that make you comfortable. Do what you love, do what is fun, do things that make you more beautiful. Please yourself, fall in love with yourself, and the boy who loves you will naturally come.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, I can see your loneliness and inner longing. Teacher gives you a hug! From your description, I can see your self-management skills, you have always been a good obedient girl focused on studying. This is a quality that many people envy and long for. What makes you suffer now is that you still don't have any opposite-sex friends. When you see other girls enjoying their romantic relationships, you feel a sense of loss and a feeling of worthlessness. You can carefully observe how your classmates interact with each other and how you interact with them. If you calm down and analyze it, you may find that in order for more people to like you, you need to engage with them, interact with them, so that they can discover your excellence and inner beauty! Interaction can be through mutual back and forth, such as WeChat video calls, phone calls, etc. In short, making friends is based on mutual understanding and learning to interact, only then can you become friends. Try to take the initiative to contact those who you feel satisfied with and like. Contact and interact, it doesn't necessarily mean dating or becoming friends, but it is definitely an essential process for you to understand the opposite sex and learn to interact with them! Try to let go of your shyness and introversion from childhood and be more active and outgoing! With the blooming of flowers, butterflies will come naturally!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Looking back on my college days, I was also intimidated by the studious girls for the following reasons: 1. These girls are fully focused on their studies, they rarely dress up, and their appearance is almost indistinguishable from boys. 2. Because they are dedicated to their studies and have high expectations for themselves, they come across as cold and distant in communication. The typical femininity such as laughing and being playful is rarely seen in them. In short, they lack the charm of being a woman. Of course, I am not saying this to make you change. In life, there are always trade-offs. You may envy those girls who have multiple boyfriends in just one semester, and they may seem happy on the surface. But in the later stages of their lives, they won't be able to outpace you because they neglected their academic pursuits. As for you, since you are currently not distracted by relationships and focusing on your studies, after graduation, you will have more choices in finding a partner because of your excellence. It's up to you whether you prefer immediate romance or a more long-term perspective.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. You only see other girls changing boyfriends every semester instead of going on blind dates. This is the established implementation, also known as the result or achievement. There's a saying, \"you reap what you sow.\" You only see that other girls are getting results, but have you paid attention to what they have planted? Perhaps, in order to increase their attractiveness to boys, they spend late nights practicing various talents like dance, splits, or having a six-pack. They exercise and sweat every day to maintain their figure and skin. They work on improving their emotional intelligence by sincerely helping others and selflessly giving without expecting anything in return. They are also tolerant of others' strengths and weaknesses. Everything they do is about self-improvement.\n\n2. There are also girls who are not in pain. They have only known about studying since they were young, and they haven't put much effort into developing their hobbies, talents, self-discipline, physical appearance, emotional intelligence, or IQ. They either feel tired or find it difficult, so they haven't invested much in self-improvement. Therefore, they don't want to change boyfriends frequently in one semester and feel satisfied with being able to meet a boyfriend through blind dates. They are content, so they are not in pain.\n\n3. The third choice is to not choose either of the above two choices. They don't make efforts to improve themselves nor are they content. So, the heavens are angry. How is it possible to not want to put in much effort for self-improvement and still expect many boys to flock around? Such a good thing doesn't exist. They want everything, so the heavens punish such people.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6467
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do some people enjoy watching others' jokes? Shouldn't they sympathize with others?",
        "description": "I found that in life, there are many people who like to kick others when they are down, take pleasure in others' misfortune, and even enjoy it. I wonder, why is this the case? Shouldn't they feel sympathy for others?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your feelings and give you a hug. Everyone may have different behavioral responses to the same situation. Our behaviors are influenced by various factors, including our own personalities, ways of thinking, and the environment we are in. Moreover, the same person may have different behavioral responses to different things, or even to the same thing at different times. These are all normal things. Whether we sympathize or take pleasure in others' suffering depends on rational and moral considerations. As for our emotional response, it varies from person to person. We say we should sympathize with others and be kind, which is more about rational thinking and moral perspective. Let's take a specific example. For instance, if someone accidentally bumps into you while you're walking down the street, you may still feel angry. Or you may feel the pain from being bumped. Whether it is anger or pain, it is a fact that cannot be changed and is your genuine reaction. Just like when you mentioned some people take pleasure in others' misfortune, that may be their immediate reaction. Another important question is, can you guarantee that you will always sympathize with others when they are in pain? I don't think anyone can. Let's take an extreme example. If someone suddenly punches you for no reason, and then they fall and hurt themselves, would you sympathize with their pain? Or would you be more likely to think they're silly or feel happy? Another extreme example, if a murderer escapes from prison and is caught shortly after, and during the escape, he is kicked hard by a police officer. Would you sympathize with the pain caused by the kick? I think everyone is ordinary and no one can unconditionally understand everyone. Of course, I want to emphasize that none of this is to encourage people to take pleasure in others' misfortune. It is to say that taking pleasure in others' misfortune may be a normal reaction. Because I think you may not understand why some people have such reactions. And I want to tell you that even if someone has a tendency to take pleasure in others' misfortune, it does not mean they will always do so whenever they see someone in pain. People's reactions can also change. Of course, we should strive to sympathize with others, be kind, and understand others more. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1640
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I take on a part-time job as a real estate assistant to deal with the pressure of high income and housing, or should I learn technical skills and find a stable job?",
        "description": "I am an assistant with a basic salary of 1800 yuan and a commission from the store. (The commission fluctuates due to the instability of store performance, sometimes barely enough to make a living, but the store's performance is indeed good.) I also work part-time selling houses. In everyone's eyes, being an assistant is an easy job with high commission, but I am under a lot of pressure and unhappy at work. I don't have many skills, and the salespersons always want me to treat them to meals. If I want to sell a house, I have to spend a lot of money to open up opportunities. Originally, I am not an outgoing person who is good at talking and handling others. My introverted, insecure, gentle, and honest personality is not suitable for sales. I have been in this job for eight months, and luckily sold a house. Maybe things will change in the future. I want to learn a skill, have a stable income, and live a happy and fulfilling life. But I am reluctant to give up on my dream. I'm thinking that if I try hard to sell more houses, I can earn tens of thousands of yuan per month and become successful. I am torn about what kind of job I should do.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, job selection skills",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Girl, you are even more outstanding than you imagine. Give you a hug, hoping to add courage to you. You are already excellent, and should not ignore your strengths - this is a correct understanding I see in your words. I see your inner insecurity and lack of self-awareness. Affirming yourself is the top priority, and seeing growth is a great way to increase confidence. As an assistant, you have to deal with daily affairs and also sell houses, which is a test for a person. But you have done it, and done it very well. Why would you overlook your shining points? Thinking that you are very inferior, very insecure, introverted, and so on, these are just the shortcomings you have magnified. These points will be hidden when you handle your work. Saying that selling a house is good luck, I do not agree with this view unless you also say that luck is a kind of ability. Since you sold the house, there must have been your hard work, tracking, various explanations, and introductions. These are all factors of success, and cannot be summarized with just the word \"luck\". Following your heart, you are doing what you want - I noticed that from the beginning, you have set a limit for yourself, staying at the assistant level. In fact, you can set a higher plan and goal for yourself, gradually getting closer. This can not only relieve the monotony and unhappiness in your work, but also better achieve your dreams. What has always troubled you is whether the salary is high or low and whether to have a stable life. In general, these things cannot be achieved at the same time. You are more inclined to choose a high-paying and decent job. It is better to be down-to-earth and do what you are doing now, but you need to set various plans for yourself and constantly improve and fulfill them. After persisting for a while, when you are emotionally and mentally stable, then look back and decide whether to stay or learn new skills. Handling relationships, knowing how to refuse and show appropriate weakness - learning to refuse is necessary when doing sales; you are definitely going to deal with all sorts of people and this requires emotional intelligence and the ability to handle situations. No one is born with these skills, but with experience, you will learn naturally. Especially when dealing with colleagues' requests, you must know how to tactfully refuse, at least to say no with a smile on your face. In the face of excessive demands, you must refuse firmly and let others know that you are not to be trifled with. Have a clear attitude, create a good network of relationships at work, and make sure others do not underestimate you. Learn from experience, and you will achieve compounded growth - it seems that you are young, which means there is a lot of room for advancement. At this time, you should be proactive in learning and doing things. Even if you make mistakes, it is still a form of growth. Regardless of success or failure, you must learn from the experience afterwards. When I say \"learn from experience\", it is not just about making a report or a simple summary. It means summarizing a rule or general experience from all situations and applying this insight to all future work. This requires a very high level of ability, and you should start doing it slowly from the beginning. You may not see significant results in the short term, but it will be of great help in half a year, a year, or even the next ten years. And if you can really apply it to your work, your career path will spiral upwards, with compounded income growth. When I share my thoughts, it feels like I'm speaking to a \"beautiful, wealthy, and talented\" person. This is my own intuition and sixth sense, and I believe that you can achieve your dreams, and the possibility is very high. It's just that right now, you are in a period of incubation, deep in the ground. When you are mature enough, you will break through the soil and have the most brilliant appearance. If you really want to give up and choose another life, it is not pitiful, and there is no need to struggle because that is also what you want. If you have achieved it, then it is the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "No matter what industry you work in, as long as you achieve expert level or have access to quality resources, you won't have to worry about not having enough to eat. So it's not just about real estate sales, as you believe, that can make money, and learning technical skills won't earn you much money. Psychologists, doctors, and lawyers all follow a technical path, don't they? These industries don't require you to be extremely outgoing. To a large extent, it depends on how much professional knowledge you have accumulated, as long as you have strong abilities, there will be people willing to hire you. I think, apart from live streaming, which requires good speaking skills to attract attention, most jobs value experience and professional knowledge more. You can quietly research on your own. Even in property sales, you need to know how to promote properties that suit your clients, how to calculate property taxes, how to handle various procedures, and how to go through the loan process, etc. You need to be well-versed in these areas to convince clients. It's not just about being outgoing, it's only helpful for initial communication. In the end, it still involves professional knowledge. I have a friend who has some professional certificates in engineering that very few people have, both domestically and internationally. There's a shortage of talent like that. He earns tens of thousands of dollars every month. Once you become an expert and acquire enough knowledge, earning tens of thousands of dollars a month will be a piece of cake. The questioner is currently doing well in real estate sales, so you can continue to try it out, summarize your experiences and patterns, and build a network. If you can't do well after a year or two, it's not too late to give up. There are many people who do multiple jobs nowadays. Many people in my social circle sell insurance, but it doesn't hinder them from having full-time jobs. Extroversion and introversion aren't necessarily determined by the ability to speak. Introverted people can be good speakers too, they just don't like to talk to others too often, which makes them feel tired. Introverted people tend to prefer thinking on their own, being by themselves makes them happier. On the other hand, extroverted people like to seek energy from external interactions and being with many people makes them feel energized. Ask yourself what kind of work you truly enjoy, do you prefer dealing with people or prefer thinking alone? What are your strengths and what aspects of work bring you a sense of achievement? What experiences do you currently have that can help you find a job? Ultimately, even speaking can be trained in the later stage, but what suits you and what you like requires your own consideration. For example, although I'm not good at speaking, compared to doing research alone in the lab, I prefer communicating with people. So a job that involves frequent interactions with people suits me better. If I feel bothered by crowds and find large group activities boring, and I prefer reading and thinking on my own, then a technical research job might be more suitable. Since the questioner is still in the real estate industry, with some experience and decent income, you might as well stay for now. But that doesn't prevent you from thinking about your future path. You mentioned wanting to learn technical skills, so what specific field of technology is it? If you're particularly interested in one area, you can start by reading books in the relevant field, then pursue certification. After obtaining the certification, you can start working part-time and consider whether or not to switch careers once you do well. It would be risky to blindly change jobs without a clear goal, you might end up with nothing in the end.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing these words, I hope they can bring you a little warmth. Hello, in your words, I see your confusion about the future, contemplation of current life, and fear of the unknown. These are all good, as long as you make up your mind, they will all become your motivation. Now let's look at your questions. Selling houses can be very profitable if done well. But there are two issues: 1. The sustainability of this job. How many years can you sell houses? After you can no longer sell houses, can this experience help you find other jobs? We not only need to consider the present, but also the future. 2. Your level of identification with this job. You mentioned that you are more introverted, which means you will be more passive and less happy in this job. In the short term, it's fine, but in the long run, it may make you feel miserable internally\u2014I think there is a hint of this when you asked this question. So I think learning a skill is a better way out. But be aware that learning a skill is not easy, and life after learning the skill may not be as happy as you imagine. You may feel pain during the learning process, and you may still be confused after learning. So you need to be prepared in two ways: 1. Choose a direction that you relatively like. Interest is a great motivator, it will give you a sense of accomplishment and help you persevere. Especially when you think about the fact that this thing can make money for you, it will give you more motivation. 2. Persevere! Persevere! Persevere! Even if it is something you like, it will make you feel painful during long-term learning, encountering difficulties, and stagnation. At this time, you must persevere. The sun is waiting for you beyond that mountain. Meanwhile, selling houses and learning skills are not contradictory. Do not quit your job without proper preparation, especially when the economic situation is not good. You can prepare in two directions: selling houses and learning at the same time. This will be very hard. While others are playing games or browsing social media, you must study. It's difficult, but it's worth it. Here are a few tips: 1. You can make a list of your dreams and the things you want. Look at it when you feel like giving up or when you achieve a small success. It will motivate and encourage you. 2. Find someone who can supervise you. They must be proactive and strive to be someone you can look up to. Stay away from those who are lazy and not motivated, and who disturb and undermine you while you study. 3. Give yourself a small reward appropriately so that you know that your efforts are not in vain. I believe that as long as you take action and persevere, you will definitely become a completely different person from the current confused self. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Brother, there are no perfect things in this world. Everything requires compromise and comes with a cost. Just like when I first arrived in Guangzhou, I didn't have regular meals, let alone a future plan, but I still persisted in working not just for the salary. Step by step, I sacrificed for learning, for the company, and for the customers, giving up my time and money, but I held onto my values. Do what you enjoy, find the intersection of your interests and abilities. Once you find yourself, everything will fall into place. Wish you the best, work hard, my friend.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Being able to sell a house is also a \"technical job\". Therefore, in terms of career, learning is lifelong. The more skills you acquire, the higher the chances of making money, resisting risks, and enjoying a comfortable life in the future. So, seemingly contradictory choices are not really a problem (perhaps). Maybe you can have more options, such as selling houses while learning new skills? Consider every challenge as an opportunity to learn. When you have climbed higher mountains, these dilemmas will no longer be dilemmas.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19573
       },
       {
        "question": "New graduates who come to Beijing to find jobs may feel overwhelmed and stressed. How can they manage and alleviate these feelings?",
        "description": "I will graduate this year with a major in Chinese and I'm planning to find a job in Beijing. I'm mainly interested in the media and entertainment industry, where there are more opportunities in Beijing. I've been searching for a job for a month and had three internships during the process. However, I gave up on each of them after only working for two or three days because I realized they weren't what I wanted to do and it was causing me a lot of pain. It's so difficult to find a job that I actually want, and the more I search, the worse my mindset becomes. The past two weeks have been tough because of the severe COVID-19 situation in Beijing. I've been at home sending out resumes for a week without any response, and I feel so frustrated. I'm starting to wonder if coming to Beijing was the right decision for me. How can I manage my job search anxiety? Moreover, living alone in a different city makes me feel lonely, and I find myself constantly turning to food for comfort. Whenever I encounter difficulties, I always think about giving up and going back, but I don't want to avoid these challenges. I just don't know how to adjust myself.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: Hugs to you. Thumbs up to you, you are a child who dares to strive and is not afraid of hardship. I understand your feelings very well. Living alone in Beijing can make you feel helpless and anxious when you encounter difficulties. From your words, I can see the conflicting feelings you have about your job and work location. Don't worry, let's take a look at the issues you mentioned in your writing. \"I have been sending resumes at home for a week without any response and I feel very frustrated.\" (Under the impact of the epidemic this year, the pressure of employment is indeed very high. Many people, including recent graduates, have not been able to find suitable job opportunities quickly. OP, hugs to you. Employment pressure is actually a common problem that many people face.) \"I have been looking for a job for a month, and I quit after only working for two or three days in three different trial jobs.\" (In fact, as a recent graduate, in the current situation of high employment pressure, being able to get offers from at least three companies within a month shows that you are capable. Normally, before officially starting a job, we will have a preliminary understanding of the company and position through online channels or communication with the interviewers. But why did you quit after only working for two or three days in the trial jobs? I think there are two main reasons: 1. Insufficient understanding of the company and the position before accepting the job, and later found that it doesn't match; How to deal with it? I suggest that you learn about the basic situation of the company and the position through websites, communication with the interviewers, and even talking to senior students who have worked in the same position, so that you can shorten the time needed to familiarize yourself with the job after starting. 2. Having excessively high expectations for the job and later finding a discrepancy between it and what you truly desire; This situation is quite common among recent graduates. When entering the workplace for the first time, we often have high expectations for our careers. At this time, adjusting our mindset to have a realistic understanding of the current market conditions is the most rational approach. I suggest that you think about your personality, interests, professional capabilities, and consider what type of company you prefer and are suitable for, and what aspects of career development are most important to you. For example, in the media and entertainment industry, do you prioritize salary or platform? What is your most interested and suitable work direction in this industry? If your interests and abilities do not match, how should you choose?) \"Whenever I encounter difficulties, I always think about going back, but I don't want to avoid these challenges.\" (From this sentence, I see another conflict: the conflict regarding the work location. In Beijing, being alone, feeling a lot of pressure, anxiety, and loneliness, but Beijing also has better job opportunities; going back to the previous city means fewer job opportunities and limited career development, but being surrounded by friends and family makes life relatively easy and stress-free. How to choose? OP, you need to ask your heart. As a recent graduate without work experience, when looking for a job, you have to consider everything at the same time, but the possibility of getting everything is low. Since it's impossible to have everything, what do you truly value in your heart?) Before making a choice, you can try to alleviate your anxiety so that you can make a better decision. There are many ways to relieve anxiety. First, you can relax through exercise, such as doing yoga or going for walks or jogs. These activities can help improve your mood. Second, you can consider relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and muscle relaxation exercises. These two methods require practicing in advance so that they can be effective when you are feeling stressed. Third, you can talk to someone close to you, such as your family or friends, about your feelings. You mentioned that eating can also help relieve anxiety. Lastly, I would like to tell you that stepping out of the anxious state and asking your heart is the key to what you truly value in your career. If your current abilities do not match your expectations, instead of being anxious and miserable, it's better to face the gap, make changes, and strive for a future where your abilities and dreams can be matched. If you temporarily cannot find a job with the work content you like, it's better to start with what suits you. Because what you truly like is often felt through practice. The best way to relieve anxiety is to make a choice and then work hard towards it. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I am fortunate to give you some advice. After reading your description, I can feel that you are currently feeling disappointed and helpless in your career, which has led to a lack of confidence and confusion. You mentioned that you studied Chinese in university and currently have an interest in the media industry. There is some connection between these two, but at the same time, we also need to realize- *how much connection there is between the two* and *what is your true passion in your heart?* *What are you good at in the Chinese industry? What are you good at in the media industry?* ... These are the questions that need to be pondered upon now, as they relate to- *self-awareness* life planning* career planning* ... Next, let's analyze your current situation objectively and rationally. \"Career planning- I don't know where your university is located, but how is the employment situation for the Chinese major in your hometown or the city where your university is located? You mentioned that there are many opportunities to choose from in Beijing, so does this mean that you have already done a detailed analysis of the industry in your hometown and university location, and coming to Beijing is a well-considered decision? Or is it influenced by articles on the internet, and you believe that not coming to Beijing would be regretful, so you firmly believe in it? You have just graduated, which is a good time to strive and also a golden period for trial and error. Being able to learn, experience, and comprehend as much as possible while young will be of great help to your future. Therefore, you should not be afraid of making mistakes at this time and bravely pursue it. \"Life planning- Understand your true reasons for coming to Beijing, and let's talk about it from the perspective of life planning. Do you have any thoughts about your future at the moment? Or do you have any role models and hope to be as excellent as them? If so, what specific qualities make them excellent? What is your current state in terms of these excellent qualities? Everyone hopes that their future will be \"happy\", but at the same time, let's not forget that \"accumulation in the early stage is essential\", and here are a few words for you- \"slow is fast\". Nowadays, many of us may have the mindset of \"instant realization\" because the times are progressing rapidly. While we are in this big environment, let's not forget what we want and not forget our original intentions. Lastly, you mentioned that you have interned at several companies, but after a few days, you feel that it is not suitable or does not meet your expectations. This also goes back to the earlier mentioned \"career planning\" and \"self-awareness\". There is no problem with liking the media industry, but we need to clarify *what this industry is like*, *how to apply what we have learned and contribute to the media industry*, and *what is the exact feeling of discomfort when we are actually in the media industry*... Pursuing your passion truly requires courage, and you have done it. The current situation is to combine your own self and gain a deeper understanding of your inner self in order to gradually find your own place. Good luck with everything.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can feel the pressure on the topic host. Full of longing to go to Beijing to develop, eager to achieve their career ideals, the continuous setbacks in work and the difficulties in interpersonal relationships have made you feel stressed. You may consider starting from two aspects: career planning and adjusting your mindset. Firstly, you have to affirm yourself. Leaving your comfort zone and boldly exploring the unknown is a great move. Tell yourself that the difficulties are temporary. Don't set high goals for yourself. At the beginning, you may not have a clear career path right after graduation. You can start by finding a job that suits you and then seek further development. Many people around me who come to work in big cities don't have very good first jobs, and the salary is not high, but this job gives them the capital to find better jobs later. You can also choose a stepping stone before finding a satisfactory job. Tell yourself that some things are beyond your control to lighten your emotional burden. For example, the epidemic has reduced job opportunities, which does not mean you are wrong or avoiding something. No one can predict such events. You can try to do a career planning. Professional planners will find the most suitable career direction for you based on your abilities and preferences. However, before seeking advice, you can think about a few questions. You mentioned that you quit three jobs. Were all three of them in the media and entertainment industry? What were the reasons for quitting? Besides resigning, do you think there are other ways to overcome the difficulties you have encountered? If you can't find a job that completely satisfies you for the time being, can you start with a job that you can handle? Adjust your goals to establish yourself in Beijing first, then learn and find direction in your work, and finally transition to the job you like. What kind of work do you want to do? Are there specific and clear criteria you can refer to? Which aspect of work do you value the most? Salary? Values? Or job content? If you can't satisfy all of them, can you start with the most important one? What do you think is hindering you right now? Are your abilities matched with the requirements of your ideal job? If they are not matched, what efforts can you make to achieve them? If you feel lonely and bored in your life, you can try online dating or participate in some offline activities, find hobbies for yourself, enrich your spiritual life, and maybe you will unexpectedly get job opportunities while getting to know different people. Socializing itself also has the function of relieving pressure. I hope the topic host doesn't put too much pressure on themselves. As long as the green mountains are preserved, there will be no shortage of firewood. There will always be opportunities, even if not now. If the recent epidemic prevents you from finding a satisfactory job, you can also try other cities or go back home. This is not avoiding or giving up, but a strategy. After all, it's important to live happily.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Daring to venture into Beijing alone, I'm sure you have already prepared yourself to face difficulties! The asker mentioned that in the past two weeks, the COVID-19 situation in Beijing has been severe. They have been sending out resumes from home for a week but haven't received any reply, and they feel very frustrated, wondering if coming to Beijing was the right decision. How should one deal with job search anxiety? Moreover, living alone in a new place makes them feel lonely and isolated, which leads to overeating. Whenever they encounter difficulties, they always think about going back, but they don't want to avoid these challenges. However, they don't know how to adjust themselves. Difficulties are temporary, as long as you have the determination to never give up, and you are willing to endure hardships and try out different jobs, there is a possibility of settling down in Beijing. I understand that you are currently feeling anxious and easily shaken in your beliefs, and it's easy to think of negative things. At this moment, we can adjust our coping strategies and try to think positively. For example, try recording three good things that happen around you every day. This method is very simple. Just take 10 minutes before sleeping each day to write down three good things that happened. For instance, when you finish work, you bought yourself a dessert that you love. Another example is that you have become familiar with life in Beijing. Yet another example is that you accidentally broke a cup in a restaurant, but the boss didn't blame you. It is important to write down why each thing happened, like \"Because I was feeling a bit down, I intentionally bought myself a dessert to cheer up.\" \"Because I have been staying here for a while, I know the people around and have become familiar with the place.\" \"After breaking the cup, I quickly apologized to the boss and offered to compensate, so the boss didn't blame me.\" This method may feel a bit awkward when you first start, but if you stick with it for six months, you will start to like it because the surprises of life are in the small and mundane things. You can give it a try.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's like that when you first come out. I was like that too at first. This is a very low point in life, so please don't give up on yourself. It's something everyone has to go through in life, as a way to learn and grow, to become independent. Although this process is very painful, here's a comforting hug for you. But you must summon up the courage to face everything. I believe the future will get better. When I first entered a new city, it was the same. I felt lost, lonely, and scared. Filled with despair about the future, not knowing what I could do. Constantly doubting myself and questioning myself. Feeling like the world was falling apart, feeling just like you, constantly wanting to escape back to nature because it feels safe there. It's a way to avoid facing anxiety. Feeling very anxious inside, feeling like I can't keep up with this world. Feeling like everything and everyone is rejecting me. Many of the jobs were not what I had imagined. I entered with confidence and determination, but kept losing to reality. I believe you are experiencing something similar. Feeling helpless, helpless, and scared. Negativity consumes oneself. Here, I will give you my personal opinions and advice, hoping to help you. During this time when the COVID-19 situation in Beijing is severe, it's definitely difficult to find a job. This is not your fault, it's the environment. So don't lose heart. You need to adjust your mindset. This has nothing to do with you, it's just the general environment. Everyone is in the same situation. The early days in society are always tough, that's for sure, because we lack experience and we need to accept the pace of this city and certain basic experiences and rules in our industry. It's a process. Besides accepting this process, we also need to constantly learn and grow in order to integrate and progress. So we need to persevere and learn. In Beijing, a city with a fast pace, because it's developed, everything moves faster, and the pressure is greater than in other cities. It's precisely because of the fast pace and greater pressure that there are more and better opportunities to learn and unleash your potential. Suffering can be endured. But we need to understand that all the experiences we accumulate are to improve ourselves, to promote our own growth, and that is the most important thing. Only then can we achieve what we want more efficiently. We must find a profession that we like. Even if the work is hard and tiring, we have to persist, do it for a while, a few months first, endure even if it's hard, we need to understand it first. The industry we work in has its own rules and experiences on top, and only then can we choose a better path. So this process is very painful. Secondly, we need a job to get a foothold in this city. Home is the warmest and safest place. It's normal to think of home during our suffering and discomfort. But we must learn to grow on our own, to constantly strive. And then we can protect, become the protector of our home. Our parents have protected us for over 20 years, and now it's our turn to grow. The future. It's up to us to protect, as well as our own families. Let's go!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17923
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you adjust when you encounter something beyond your capabilities and lose confidence in life?",
        "description": "I have encountered something that is beyond my capabilities but I must solve. I have been unable to solve it for two years and there has been no substantial progress. I have lost confidence and cannot see any hope. I have to rely fully on myself. In the past two months, I have experienced some breakdowns, affecting my physical health. I am in a very bad state, but I am resistant to, and conflicted about, trying to adjust my state.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, workplace relationships, work pressure, work exhaustion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I can feel your helplessness and frustration, and I sympathize with you. First of all, I want you to know that everyone in life will encounter problems that their abilities cannot solve at some point, and they will have similar feelings as you. So what we should consider is analyzing the problem: why can't we solve it ourselves and where are our weaknesses in terms of abilities? Who can compensate for these weaknesses and help us solve these problems? In other words, we should learn to seek support. If we really can't solve the problem and no one can help us, remember that all roads lead to Rome, and in life, there may be ways to bypass this problem and continue moving forward. Life doesn't need to be 100% perfect.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12162
       },
       {
        "question": "Can traditional Chinese medicine treat anxiety disorders? Does herbal medicine really work for treatment?",
        "description": "Last April, I fell ill (non-psychological illness) and was blamed by my family. There was also a lot of work pressure. Every time I heard the phone ring, I would feel anxious and even thought I had a psychological illness. Since around May last year, I gradually developed orthostatic hypotension, nausea every morning, fatigue, and drowsiness throughout the day. I started to improve after living alone for two months. During the epidemic, I worked from home and my emotions gradually stabilized. But I don't know if this calmness means I'm really getting better, or if I have just become accustomed to this anxiety and fear. I not only worry about my own affairs, but also become anxious about things that have nothing to do with me. In the past few months, as long as something happens, I will have insomnia at night, shallow sleep, and wake up very early the next day, around 4 o'clock in the morning. I have dreams all night, most of which are nightmares. I saw a Chinese medicine doctor half a month ago who said it was anxiety disorder, and I took Chinese medicine for a while but didn't feel much difference. I am very confused and don't know what to do, whether Chinese medicine treatment is effective, if the Chinese medicine diagnosis is correct, and how I should self-regulate.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, disease diagnosis, treatment methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Well, traditional Chinese medicine, I don't know if it is a formal Chinese medicine hospital diagnosis. Both traditional Chinese medicine and Western medicine can treat some physical symptoms, but traditional Chinese medicine is slow, while Western medicine is fast but has side effects. This is the problem with the existence of medication. From the perspective of healing psychosomatic diseases, 80% of physical diseases are caused by psychological problems. At this time, if you want to solve physical illnesses, you still need to pay attention to \"psychological problems\". And anxiety itself is absolutely a psychological problem. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. Last April I got sick (not a psychological illness) and was blamed by my family. There was also a lot of pressure in my work. Every time I heard the phone ring, I would feel flustered to the point of fainting. I even suspected that I had a psychological illness. Starting from around May last year, I gradually developed positional low blood pressure, nausea every morning, fatigue, and drowsiness all day long. (When I read this, the first thing I thought of was a person who is sick and not only did not receive warm care, but was instead blamed by family members. In addition, there is work pressure. Even without illness, it will be transformed into some psychological anxiety. \"Every time the phone rings\"? Then I will think about what happened when the phone rang before? Those things were very stressful for you, so stressful that you couldn't bear it at all. At that time, professional \"psychological counseling\" was indeed needed. By around May last year, it had already started to transform into a physical illness. People gradually and naturally think that this is a physical illness but \"ignore\" its source.) 2. After living alone for two months, there was some improvement. During the epidemic, I worked from home and my emotions gradually calmed down. But you don't know whether this calmness means that you are really getting better or that you have become accustomed to this anxiety and fear. Not only will you be anxious about your own affairs, but you will also be anxious when others have unrelated matters. (Anxiety is fine, we need to find ways to \"relieve emotions\". If we ignore it and let it develop, the next step is \"depression\". Being able to calm down is good, but it cannot be sustained, which means it is \"unstable\".) 3. Recently, as long as something happens at night, I will have insomnia, shallow sleep, wake up very early the next day, around 4 a.m., and have dreams throughout the night, most of which are nightmares. Half a month ago, I saw a traditional Chinese medicine doctor who said it was anxiety disorder, and I didn't feel much difference after taking Chinese medicine for a while. (Even if Chinese medicine has any effects, it will be really slow. Half a month is not enough to see the effects. From a psychological perspective: In addition to the epidemic, what major events have happened in the past few months that have affected you? In this process, those so-called small things are all catalysts. The nervous system is extremely unstable. Don't be afraid of \"dreams\". Dreams are channels for releasing stress. You can just let them be.) 4. I am very confused and don't know what to do. Does Chinese medicine treatment really work? Is the diagnosis by traditional Chinese medicine correct? How to adjust myself? (For confusing matters, you need psychological counseling. Even if traditional Chinese medicine solves the immediate anxiety, it cannot solve the \"source\" of your anxiety. You can choose to take anti-anxiety medication prescribed by a reliable hospital, gradually reducing the dosage, while undergoing psychological healing at the same time for better results.) Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy, and I hope you can get out of your confusion and regain a new life! If you have any confusion, you can message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, question master. Last April, I got sick (not a psychological illness) and was blamed by my family. I had a lot of work pressure, and when I heard the phone ring, I felt a panic and thought I was going to faint. In May last year, I gradually developed orthostatic hypotension, nausea in the morning, fatigue, and drowsiness all day long. After living alone for two months, it improved somewhat. During the epidemic, I worked from home, and my emotions gradually calmed down. In recent months, whenever I have something going on, I would have insomnia at night, shallow sleep, and wake up very early the next day, around 4 o'clock in the morning. I dream all night, and most of the time, they are nightmares. Question master, blood performs a very important function, which is to nourish the spirit. In \"Su Wen,\u201d it states: \"Blood and qi are the spirits of a person, and they must be nurtured carefully.\" Therefore, the mental activities of the human body must be nourished by the blood in order to be relaxed and abundant. If blood is deficient and qi and blood are deficient, mental fatigue, forgetfulness, insomnia, vivid dreaming, irritability, palpitations, and even mental confusion, delirium, and coma can occur. Traditional Chinese medicine treats the pattern, not the symptom. There is no exclusive medicine for a certain condition, only medicine for the pattern. Seeing a Chinese medicine practitioner, they diagnosed it as anxiety disorder, but I didn't feel much difference after taking Chinese medicine for a period of time. Is Chinese medicine treatment effective? Is the Chinese medicine diagnosis correct? How can I self-regulate? Question master, Chinese medicine treatment for mental and emotional disorders, including anxiety disorders, has a long history and has accumulated many famous formulas, such as Danzhi Xiaoyao Pills, etc. As long as the pattern identification is reasonable and the medication is accurate, generally good results can be achieved. Compared with Western medicine, Chinese medicine has fewer side effects and is less likely to rebound after stopping medication. Many people have various misunderstandings about Chinese medicine, and the most prominent one is that Chinese medicine is slow, and it takes a long time to see results. In fact, it is one-sided to simply say fast or slow. In some diseases, Western medicine only relieves symptoms quickly but cannot cure the condition or achieve good long-term therapeutic effects. On the other hand, with correct treatment for a period of time, Chinese medicine can be stopped and it is not easy to rebound. Chinese medicine emphasizes \"treating before the disease occurs,\" which means prevention when there is no illness. The anxiety experienced by the question master was not formed in a short period of time, so chronic diseases require slow treatment. You might as well follow the prescriptions of Chinese medicine and take good care of yourself, and do not have mental stress and think that Chinese medicine is ineffective. Secondly, there are also precautions to take when taking Chinese medicine, such as: 1) Eat less raw and cold, greasy and hard-to-digest foods; 2) Maintain a positive mood during the medication period and avoid anger and irritability; 3) When using other medications, seek advice from a Chinese medicine practitioner; and 4) If you feel no relief of symptoms, seek prompt medical attention. Best wishes to the question master.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ First of all, it can be confirmed that traditional Chinese medicine does have certain effects, which is something that can be believed. However, it does not mean that psychological disorders can all be cured through medication. Anxiety disorder, as mentioned by the topic creator, is actually a common symptom of the nervous system, which can be improved through medication (whether it's Eastern or Western medicine). As for traditional Chinese medicine, personally I think it is more focused on regulating the body, with less pharmacological effects and being relatively gentle. Western medicine, on the other hand, is more targeted, and neurological disorders such as depression are usually treated with Western medicine. In short, both traditional Chinese medicine and Western medicine have therapeutic effects, and the treatment methods are related to certain biochemical reactions in the body, which I won't elaborate on further. These physiological effects can help improve one's condition. However, because it is a psychological issue, medication can only have an impact on the mind and emotions through improvement and repair of certain functions in the brain and body. This effect is indeed limited and cannot guarantee complete cure or no relapse. I suggest trying psychological counseling, as it is indeed a good choice for improving psychological issues. Psychological issues often require appropriate methods other than medication, and counseling can have a great impact on one's psychological state and emotions. Additionally, if the condition is not very severe, self-improvement can also be attempted. I recommend practicing mindfulness training, which can be found online or on platforms like Himalaya. Set aside some time each day to relax and connect with yourself, alleviate daily stress, find a venting point - these can also be very helpful. I hope this answer can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Understand, analysis 1. Traditional Chinese medicine says it's anxiety disorder, so you should take Chinese medicine. Western medicine says it's anxiety disorder, so should you also take Western medicine? I say you have anxiety disorder, so should you take the medicine I give you? Clearly, you want WIFI, but you go to the mobile company and buy a data package, then ask, does the data package really work? Is the signal strong or not? Think about it, think carefully. 2. As soon as you hear the phone ring, you feel so anxious that you almost faint. It must be because you've encountered something before that triggers this reaction. Being anxious about your own affairs and other people's affairs, it's so painful. Why not seek a psychologist? Do you plan to let your anxiety kill you? 3. Since you have already taken the first step - asking questions here, why not continue to take the second step? Leave professional matters to professionals to solve.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Taking medication is just one aspect, and how to eliminate the thoughts in your mind depends on how you perceive those issues, simplifying those complex problems or approaching them in a different way. Sleep is crucial, maintaining good sleep habits is also beneficial for physical and mental growth. Previously, you felt anxious due to work stress, but now you don't feel anxious about your own issues. Just think, in the past, work was like a command to you, and the salary was the reward for doing the job well. The increasing work pressure gradually made it difficult for you to cope, and it may have blurred the relationship between the two. Appropriate exercise is also a form of regulation. Nowadays, there are many articles on psychology that you can listen to. A problem that can cause a person to explode in an instant does not form suddenly, and solving a problem also takes time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Chinese medicine has the function of regulating the body, and if taken for a long time, it can cure the problem. The source of your anxiety is a question that you need to think about. Is it mainly caused by work, because you start to feel anxious as soon as you receive a phone call? Maybe you don't want to answer that call in the first place, and it's causing fear about work. You can observe your emotions by writing a mood diary, record when you feel happy, and do things that make you happy. You can also do more exercise to get yourself excited. First, take care of your physical health, and then think about other things. When necessary, you can also chat with friends, watch movies, or do other activities to relieve your emotions. If you feel that Chinese medicine is slow to take effect, you can also consider seeing a Western doctor and combine the use of both types of medicine. Ultimately, only you know the root cause of the problem. Try not to isolate yourself, go out more, and interact with people and things. Perhaps that will help you recover faster.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15332
       },
       {
        "question": "Should one run away from home and cut all ties if they cannot receive love and care at home?",
        "description": "Mentally exhausted, feeling extremely painful and uncomfortable emotionally at home, should I or should I not run away from home to cut ties completely.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In Chinese households, it is true that family can be unreasonable and can hurt the most. But the family is also the basic unit of society. The warmth and love that a family can provide are still abundant. As for you, I don't know your age. If you are an adult, I think you can consider this suggestion. If you can't experience love at home, go out and get some fresh air, and develop yourself. If you are not yet an adult, then stay at home, adjust your mentality, establish a way to communicate, learn more skills, and when you become an adult, you can venture out. There was a time when I was also like this at home, but as a father, a son, and a husband, I have to bear the weight and the pressure. So, I pushed through the stress. I also grew as a person. And as for mindset, I feel that it's worth it for the sake of the family, the children, the parents, and the wife.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 49,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 49,
            "end": 158,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 158,
            "end": 247,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22337
       },
       {
        "question": "A 24-year-old girl who watches adult films and masturbates when feeling sad and upset, is this a psychological disorder?",
        "description": "Single-parent family, 24 years old, female, in a relationship, sexually active. When I am alone and feeling lonely, I watch pornography and masturbate to seek pleasure. This has been going on for five or six years, from occasional to frequent, even twice a day now. I am troubled by this and I want to quit this bad habit. For example, when my mother asks me for money and I refuse, it upsets me and I resort to watching pornography and masturbating. I think she only gave birth to me but did not truly raise me. She has never cared about how I live alone in Beijing, whether I have money, or how my work and life are going. When she calls, she only asks for money in a deceptive manner. In reality, I haven't given her any money because I don't have any to give. I am currently preparing for exams and my salary is very low. It barely covers my living expenses for just myself, and sometimes it falls short. If I don't give her money, she will insult me. I actually hope she dies because she only brings harm to people. Furthermore, I haven't seen my mother, father, or other relatives in the real world for two or three years. At the same time, I am afraid to see them. I always worry that they might kill me or rape me. I constantly feel scared. I want to get help because sometimes it becomes too painful and distressing. I want to start a new life without arguments and with a positive outlook.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, mental disorders, behavioral abnormalities.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Your situation is indeed very sympathetic. When a person is surrounded by various pains, if there is something that can make them happy or give them pleasure, they will definitely use this pleasure to counteract the various pains in life. This is a defense mechanism of human beings, which is normal and not what you think is a disease or psychological abnormality. Some people even masturbate up to six times a day. The root of your current pain lies in the fact that you have done this thing, and your inner self and morals cannot accept it, resulting in internal conflicts and making yourself suffer. At the same time, there are many pains in life that you cannot escape from, feeling the pressure from your parents' exploitation, but the blood relationship is something you cannot completely get rid of. So this has become something that has been haunting you. In fact, masturbation is not the problem, but your emotions are. If you continue like this for a long time, it will greatly affect your mental health. I suggest that you confide in others about your inner pain, the pressure you endure, and your dissatisfaction with your parents. You cannot keep it all bottled up inside you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is said that masturbation is 100% common among males, while females may engage in it less frequently, but the proportion is still very high. According to a sexual report by Jing Sai, 92% of the population has engaged in this behavior, which means it is a very common practice. There is a book dedicated to it called \"Masturbation: A Terrifying History.\" If you're interested, you can take a look. It systematically introduces the history of masturbation, changes in people's perceptions of it, from fear and considering it harmful to health and extremely sinful, to now being seen as harmless or even beneficial. The book provides detailed viewpoints and evidence. Many psychologists believe that the biggest harm of masturbation for young people is the enormous psychological pressure and shame that come from feelings of guilt. For adults, it is a primitive form of sexual satisfaction. Sex is a basic human need, and it is legitimate and natural. However, for many people, there are significant obstacles to satisfying this need. Masturbation is a harmless, low-cost, and risk-free way to fulfil it. It is economical, natural, safe, and harmless. As long as it is viewed correctly, it does not cause harm. Simon believes that masturbation is a normal behavior in human psychology and development, and it is concerning if someone never engages in it. Masturbation can also be an addictive behavior. It is inherently attractive and brings pleasure. Humans are naturally inclined towards pursuing happiness and avoiding unhappiness, so it is very natural to use pleasurable activities to escape from unhappy situations. When one's mood is bad, masturbation can improve it. However, masturbation also has a very negative aspect. In my previous consultations, I found that many women are more eager to resolve emotional issues rather than the events themselves. When conflicts arise with their boyfriends, girls suffer greatly, and they start arguing with their partners. But as the argument goes on, if the boy compromises, the girl usually forgives him. However, if one investigates carefully at this point, it becomes evident that the problem remains, but because the girl's emotions have been appeased, the matter is set aside. Then, as the contradictions continue, the two will re-enter into another argument, repeating the cycle. Masturbation functions in a similar way\u2014it resolves emotional issues. Human emotions are a driving force; you need to experience pain to have the motivation to solve problems. If you find alternative ways to deal with your emotions, you won't have the motivation to tackle real problems. In other words, it is a way for people to escape from reality, where excessive masturbation usually includes elements of avoiding pain and reality. In a book I read before called \"Suicidal Psychology,\" there was a point that I remember clearly: if a person who frequently masturbates suddenly stops, the probability of suicide increases (or something similar). My understanding is that masturbation to a certain extent alleviates a person's pain, and this is its positive aspect. If masturbation is absent, then we have to face this pain directly. If it can be resolved, that's great, but if not, it can lead to tremendous stress. Essentially, your masturbation is probably a way for you to protect yourself from problems in society that you can't solve. You can choose to learn more, master more methods and skills to resolve your interpersonal relationships. I believe that once your interpersonal relationships improve, your masturbation habits will naturally change for the better because sex is not just an individual behavior; it is a form of interaction. It can not only fulfill people's personal physiological needs but also satisfy their social needs. Regarding your mother, your behavior is correct. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you help others? You don't need to be too concerned about her attitude. When you achieve success, her attitude will naturally change. So, whether it's in terms of psychology or reality, you should focus on preparing for your exams first. As long as you pass, you will naturally have a bright future. With more resources at your disposal, you will have the right to choose. I hope you can get out of this predicament as soon as possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The suffering of the questioner is understood. It is distressing that their parents are not with them and even when they call, they don't show concern and instead demand money to support themselves, which clearly increases their difficulties and worries in life. The questioner mentions having a habit of self-pleasure for several years and wanting to change it. Habits cannot be completely eradicated, but they can be changed. Habits are permanent, but at the same time they are fragile and can easily be replaced by another habit. Habits are formed by cues, and we are more likely to notice obvious cues. Creating vivid visual cues will redirect your attention towards the desired action. If you want a habit to become an important part of your life, make cues an important part of your life first. Understanding this, we can start by eliminating or hiding cues that prompt the habit, such as adult films or explicit images. Replace them with good cues, for example, if the questioner is studying, place study materials in a visible place. Additionally, avoid wearing revealing or loose clothing, as it makes it easier to engage in self-pleasure, which acts as a cue. Furthermore, it is beneficial to have a communal life as it often encourages us to change habits. We have all had the experience of wanting to stay in bed on weekends but being compelled to get up on time to go to class or work when we have to do it with others. This is because we all have a compelling reason to do so, a belief from the depths of our hearts that we must do it. When this belief is reinforced repeatedly with strong determination, it becomes faith and forms a habit. Therefore, when we want to develop a new habit, being in a community is more conducive to its formation. The shared belief and struggle towards a common goal encourages us to continue working hard when we are about to give up. This significantly increases the probability of successfully changing habits. So, to cultivate new good habits, it is advisable to try joining online or offline groups, such as morning routines, vocabulary memorization, English speaking groups, etc.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Five or six years ago, when you were 18 or 19 years old, you may have just started to understand relationships between genders. I wonder under what circumstances (pressure) you developed this habit? I'm not sure about your living situation with your family three years ago, but your subsequent words shocked me. I don't know if you are truly worried that your family will harm you, or if you said that out of anger, or if there is some other reason behind it. I will help you, don't worry. Analyzing the problem: 1. You come from a single-parent family, you're 24 years old, female, and have a boyfriend with whom you have a sexual relationship. When you like someone, you watch pornographic films and masturbate to seek pleasure, a habit that has persisted for five or six years, from occasional to regular, and even twice a day now. You are troubled by this and wish to quit this bad habit. (Children from single-parent families are more likely to be harmed, but the reason for developing this habit five or six years ago is crucial. If you want to quit this habit, you need to trace back to the source. At that time, you were under pressure, whether you realized it or not, and this habit was your way of releasing internal stress.) 2. For example: your mother asked me for money, and you didn't give it to her, so you felt sad and turned to watching pornographic films and masturbating. You think that all she did was give birth to you and not raise you. She never cared about your life in Beijing, whether you had money, a job, or how you were living. She would start asking for money as soon as she called. (If your mother is really as you described, then it's right not to give her money. More importantly, she should still be young, so shouldn't she be able to earn money herself? Why does she have to ask her daughter? You hope she could care more about you and whether you're doing well. Otherwise, this mother is truly \"all talk and no action\".) 3. In reality, you haven't given her any money because you don't have any to give. You are currently preparing for an exam, your salary is very low, and it's only enough for your own expenses, it's even a bit tight. If you don't give her money, she will scold you. Now you hope she will die because this person is harmful when she's alive. (Yes, even if you don't have money, you shouldn't give it to her. It seems like she has no right to ask you for money and then scold you. Which child wouldn't hate such a mother? I really want to say a few words to help your mother, but I can't find the words. Girl, don't be afraid. You didn't have a say in which family you were born into, but you can have a say in your future days. Even without their love, you can still love yourself. 4. Additionally, you haven't seen your mother, father, and other relatives in real life for two or three years, and you're also afraid of seeing them. You always worry that they will kill or rape you. You always feel afraid and want to seek help because sometimes it's too painful and distressing. You want a new life without arguing, a positive life. (I don't know how much shadow your original family left on you, but now you have grown up and can make decisions for yourself. If nobody loves you, learn to love yourself. You will find limitless potential. Regardless of whether they will actually harm you, I guess you're really scared. Darling, don't be afraid. We can work hard together. I will help you. People can break free from current situations and past shadows. Those things are just the past. We have the right to face the present and the future, so don't be afraid. It's absolutely possible.) Closing words: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you can emerge from the shadows and start a new life soon. If you have any confusion, you can private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Your problem is not actually your \"little fetish,\" but rather the fact that you think your \"little fetish\" is a problem! Indulging in pleasures, including sexual ones, is a natural instinct for humans. Everyone experiences stress, and when it accumulates, it needs to be released. Each person has different ways to release stress, and you have chosen a less common method. In simple terms, as long as you are \"physically and mentally pleased,\" what's the harm? You are not affecting others, breaking any laws, or tarnishing your morality. Relax, life is not easy, so why not find a path that brings you happiness? Learn to empathize with others and be tolerant. Focus on moving towards your own goals, and perhaps everything else won't matter!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15901
       },
       {
        "question": "I am very concerned about my girlfriend's past and often unintentionally fantasize about various scenarios.",
        "description": "I accidentally looked through my girlfriend's phone and found out that she had been frequenting various nightclubs, bars, and similar places for a long period of time in the past. The comments and messages on her social media were often filled with explicit language from male friends. I had completely missed all of this during the time we've known each other, so this experience completely shattered my perception of her. However, after being together, she has not shown any of these problems again, to the point where I keep imagining disturbing images of her past with other men in my mind.",
        "keywords": "Love, virgin complex.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can sense your confusion and uneasiness, and these complex emotions are actually the same as those in your girlfriend's heart. Although she has been to many entertainment places, whether out of curiosity or to relax, deep down, she feels the same as you do, that this is not something a \"good and virtuous\" girl should do. So, when you started dating, she chose to conceal it. In other words, she split herself internally, denying some of her past experiences and a part of herself. It is evident that she does not accept herself. Of course, it is also because she can sense your lack of acceptance towards these things and worries that it will cause conflicts if you were to find out. We shouldn't judge whether going to bars or similar places is right or wrong; existence itself is reasonable. It is simply a matter of individual lifestyle and should not be used to determine a person's character or quality. However, every person's chosen lifestyle will inevitably bear the resulting consequences. Note, I am referring to consequences, not punishments. When we want to view things truthfully, we must let go of judgment and focus only on the facts and individuals involved. We only need to understand the patterns and directions of things, while right or wrong, good or bad, are based on judgment standards deeply rooted in each person's heart, which are connected to their own personal feelings, societal expectations, upbringing, and education, among other factors. Therefore, there is no need to demand strict standards, as they are not uniform. However, humanity also shares common emotions, one of which is to not harm others. In other words, every action you take, whether you are truly responsible for yourself and others. For example, if a person's way of relaxation borders on indulgence, the most immediate victim will be themselves. Externally, they will expose themselves to a situation where they are more easily harmed, while internally, they will experience strong self-doubt and disgust because they brought it upon themselves. So, whether externally or internally, anyone who does something that harms others will ultimately harm themselves. Your girlfriend's past behavior indicates that she lacks a sense of security deep down. She constantly needs to prove that she is worthy of love and attention. However, her methods will not yield positive feedback and will only make her more lost. Perhaps, after meeting you, she has experienced a long-lost sense of security, although she is still fearful; otherwise, she would not have intentionally concealed it. However, she doesn't know that if you don't see and accept her fully, this sense of security won't be solid. Now, let's talk about your feelings. Any choice we make is never detached from our subconscious. The reason why you chose a girl who enjoys going to bars also has to do with your own reasons. Although you say you were unaware before, if you never doubted her internally, you would not have looked at her phone. The fact that you chose to look at her phone subconsciously indicates a lack of trust in the relationship and in yourself. The traits that one dislikes in others are also a part of their inner shadow. Perhaps, in your own growth experiences, you have experienced betrayal or indulgence. Perhaps, the women around you have engaged in behaviors that you consider shameful. Maybe, during your growth process, these thoughts and behaviors were absorbed by your subconscious. Not everyone has the courage to act on those behaviors, but being aware of the thoughts is sufficient. Shadows don't necessarily manifest externally. You have already tormented yourself repeatedly in your thoughts, and that is the unresolved conflict within you. I think you should find out the reasons behind these accumulated conflicts, why you feel such a strong sense of insecurity towards women and intimate relationships, and why there is this mixture of shame and anger. Only when you confront your own insecurities will you choose turmoil. Any challenges a person faces are of importance to their own being and not randomly generated. You should try to listen to your inner self, examine your experiences, and understand yourself more, rather than getting entangled in these torments and cycles. Any answers given by others are only irresponsible opinions. Ultimately, how to proceed, how to handle the relationship, only you will understand yourself best. There is no so-called correct path, only self-growth and self-responsibility. Regardless of how the relationship develops, as long as each person takes responsibility for themselves and does what they should, it is enough.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "As the relationship deepens, the understanding between two people will always be continuously updated. After snooping on your girlfriend's phone, your perception of her has been refreshed, as if it has shattered your idealistic image of her. She is not the innocent girl you originally imagined, nor is she necessarily the promiscuous girl you now imagine. The past is an unchangeable fact, but with changes in perception, the interpretation of the past will also change. Maybe you need to reflect on how you view the fact that she used to go to nightclubs. Become aware of the emotions you feel after discovering this part of her history and explore your true needs. Perhaps you are very concerned about your girlfriend's past not only because of what she has done, but also because of what you have done in the past. Perhaps, deep down, your concern about her past is actually a worry about your future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, everyone has their own past, and in the past, we all had some immature thoughts. Because we were young, we may have done some bad things, but that was in the past. We should look at others with a developmental perspective and not negate their entire person because of these things in the past. I know it must be difficult and have an impact on your feelings. But you need to be clear about one thing, that is, it was just her past, not now. You also said that after being with you, she no longer behaves like that. It shows that she has made a great change now. You can talk to her and ask her to assure you that she will not behave like that in the future. You need to treat this matter with a calm mind. In your daily life, try not to deliberately think about this matter and learn to see the strengths of your girlfriend. Take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17001
       },
       {
        "question": "Reluctant to put down the phone, insomnia, feeling tired during the day?",
        "description": "I am relatively awake even until 1.2 AM at night, although I can fall asleep quickly once I put down my phone, but I just don't want to put it down. And in the morning, I can't wake up, and I feel unenergetic during the day at work.",
        "keywords": "Behaviors, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It's quite common to prefer playing with your phone rather than sleeping at night. This can also be understood as \"revenge sleep procrastination\". You can try to assess how many things you did during the day were things you truly wanted to do from the bottom of your heart, and how many were things you had to do. If there were too many things you had to do, it can be emotionally draining and make you feel like you're not living your own life. So, at night, you try to compensate for it by doing things that make you feel relaxed and happy, things that you genuinely want to do. Another situation could be having too many things you want to achieve or feeling anxious and fearful about not being able to achieve them. In that case, it's necessary to sort them out. I recommend writing as a way to organize your scattered thoughts. Suggestions: 1. Adjust your mindset. When faced with something that you don't feel motivated to do, think about the value of that thing and what you can gain from it. Replace the phrase \"I have to...\" with \"I choose to..., because by doing so, I can...\". 2. Avoid taking your phone to bed and keep it further away. Instead, engage in bedtime meditation, focusing your attention on your breathing to help you fall asleep. It may take some time if you find yourself getting more awake the more you think about it. Good luck! FF.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good afternoon, OP. Although you can fall asleep quickly when you put down your phone, you just don't want to. You can't wake up in the morning and lack energy during the day. Based on your description, I have a few thoughts to share with you. One, you can reflect on how long this has been going on. What kind of events before bedtime disrupt your sleep? Two, even though you can quickly fall asleep at night if you put down your phone, you still can't let go of it. What kind of content attracts you while using your phone? What are your thoughts and feelings when you can't let go of your phone? Three, not being able to wake up in the morning and lacking energy during the day is the result of not getting enough rest at night. In order to improve your work performance the next day. During this pandemic, most of us have experienced significant changes in our daily routines. Personally, from January to July, I often stayed up late and had a difficult time waking up in the morning. Based on my own experience, let me share with you. In July, I made adjustments to my daily routine. First, it is important to know the reasons for adjusting our sleep schedule. One, an irregular sleep schedule can negatively impact our physical functions, such as memory decline and lack of energy during the day. So, we need to adjust our daily routine. Two, in this special year, many of us have experienced unemployment or a lack of work opportunities. In such a situation, our laziness might arise. We may find ourselves browsing our phones at night when there is nothing to do during the day. There is a lot of content on our phones that we haven't experienced before or that attracts us, causing us to lose sleep and affecting our ability to wake up in the morning. This can also lead to feelings of emptiness, helplessness, and loneliness. Therefore, it is important to establish a daily routine. This is the first step I took to change my sleep schedule: between 10:00-11:00 PM, struggled to put down my phone and let my consciousness guide my subconscious into sleep. The second step is to listen to soothing music that aids sleep. The third step is to engage in activities during the day, such as exercise or tidying up the house, to keep the body active. Establish a daily exercise and learning schedule to keep yourself occupied during the day, which will help with sleep at night. The fourth step is to maintain a regular and light diet. Avoid heavy meals in the afternoon, as this can reduce the burden on the body and promote sleep. These are some of my own experiences and methods for adjusting my daily routine, which I wanted to share with you, OP. Now, I will share some of my thoughts and advice regarding the issue you described, in the hope of helping you. If you really can't fall asleep, you can try putting down your phone and not be attracted to its content. For example, you can tidy up the house or do some exercise for half an hour before bed. The most important thing is to be aware and remind yourself not to look at your phone, as you have already realized that the reason you can't sleep is because you can't let go of your phone. Therefore, try to shorten the time you spend with your phone and interact more with your family and friends. You can also try listening to some sleep-inducing music, which you can find on platforms like Himalaya.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can understand the OP's anxiety and restlessness. At night, when not wanting to sleep and having nothing else to do, one can't help but pick up the phone and watch interesting videos or read novels, which increases interest and makes it even harder to fall asleep. The later one stays up, the worse the sleep quality becomes, and the less inclined one is to get out of bed in the morning, resulting in lower energy levels during the day and affecting normal work. Normally, after working all day, both the body and mind should be tired, making it easy to feel drowsy and fall asleep. However, the OP is still wide awake before midnight, so it's curious what the OP has been doing after getting off work. The normal sleep time is between 9 PM and 11 PM, during which it's easy to fall asleep. If one misses this time frame and delays sleep, the longer the delay, the later one falls asleep, and the sleep quality becomes insufficient, affecting one's mental state. The fact that the OP is aware that putting down the phone will allow them to fall asleep but still unwilling to do so shows that the phone holds significant importance for them. Looking at the phone provides a sense of satisfaction that cannot be experienced in real life, which is why the OP is reluctant to put it down. However, the contents of the phone cannot replace reality. The needs of real life must be fulfilled through real life experiences. Over-reliance on the phone will only increase self-denial and exacerbate anxiety and fear of normal social interactions, leading to even stronger dependency on the phone and further impairment of social functioning. The OP can set a decreasing schedule for phone usage, gradually reducing the time spent on it each day. In the remaining time, besides personal activities, they can cultivate hobbies to establish a connection between themselves and society, feel their own existence, and gain corresponding satisfaction. At the same time, this will reduce excessive dependence on and attachment to the phone and increase energy devoted to normal social interactions. Of course, the OP can also make an appointment with a suitable therapist for systematic psychological counseling to address these concerns.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! I used to be a member of the night owl team and firmly believed that I was a night person. My habit was to stay up during the day and come alive at night, feeling drowsy during the day and sleepy in the winter. However, everything changed when I learned about neuroscience. Let's analyze the issue of staying up late from a brain perspective. First, why are we still awake and alert around one or two in the morning? It's because of blue light. According to the normal biological rhythm, our body naturally secretes melatonin, which makes us feel sleepy and helps us fall asleep. Exposure to blue light reduces the secretion of melatonin or delays the secretion process, affecting both sleep duration and quality. Solution: To address this, you can adjust your phone settings with a blue light filter. Secondly, why is it so hard to put down our phones? It feels like we can play with them forever! The more exhausted we are, the less we want to sleep and the more we want to use our phones. It's because our brains are uncontrollable when we're extremely tired. The feeling of being excessively tired is similar to being intoxicated. Your brain becomes foggy, memory deteriorates, and your self-control weakens. Try to recall what you specifically did and looked at on your phone in the early morning when you were playing with it. Can you remember? I certainly can't. Solution: When you still have control over yourself, put your phone away and engage in activities you enjoy that are unrelated to your phone, such as reading physical books, drawing, or reflecting on the events of the day with your eyes closed. Put your phone in the kitchen to charge before going to bed and get an alarm clock to wake you up in the morning. Finally, why can you quickly fall asleep when you close your eyes? Scientists have conducted fatigue tests on this matter. They asked participants to lie in bed, turn off the lights, and monitored their sleep. If they naturally fell asleep within five minutes, it indicated that their body was extremely tired. When you are excessively tired, you become more sensitive, anxious, and your reaction speed slows down while your perception declines, affecting your work performance. It's like playing the game of life in hard mode. Adequate sleep is crucial. So, let's do it together! Put your phone in the kitchen to charge one hour before bedtime! Source: \"Self-driven Growth: Chapter 7 Sleep: The Most Complete Shutdown Period.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand how you feel, because I went through a similar phase recently. It seemed like I couldn't put my phone down, and before I knew it, time had slipped away and it was already dawn. Instead of thinking about how to put down the phone, why not try not picking it up in the first place? Set a reminder for yourself, it could be an alarm clock or even scheduled shutdown. You can also use the \"Healthy Phone Usage\" feature on your phone, set a limit on how long you can use certain apps, or use the \"Ultra Power Saving\" function. Try to avoid picking up your phone before going to bed. It might be challenging at first, but as you mentioned, \"putting down the phone can help you fall asleep quickly.\" With time, you should be able to adapt. Another important point is not to procrastinate, finish the important tasks of the day before going to bed. If you have trouble waking up in the morning, apart from not getting enough sleep the night before, the main reason might be that you don't enjoy your current work, or there are other things during the day that you don't want to face. In this case, it's recommended to do something you enjoy in the morning, so that you wake up motivated every day. If you can't manage to sleep early, then try planning to wake up early. When you have something important to do in the morning, naturally, thoughts of going to bed early will come to mind. Also, thinking about the things you want to do the next day when you wake up, doesn't everything become better? I wish you all the best, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, even though you know that staying up late and playing on your phone will affect your work performance during the day, you still cannot control yourself and repeat this behavior. Have you ever thought that your subconscious is using playing on your phone to exhaust yourself and fight against the disappointments of work? If it is a job you are passionate about, you will feel motivated to go to bed early and prepare for the next day. However, if you resist the work itself and are forced to engage in it because of the need for a source of livelihood, the suppressed emotions have no outlet and can only be temporarily relieved by playing on your phone to cope with work pressure. It is recommended to deeply contemplate the balance between work and life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It seems that it is difficult for you to put down your phone at night, which obviously affects your normal work. I can tell that you want to change your mood. Try to think slowly, have you ever been able to put down your phone once or a few times? What methods did you use at that time, what did you think of, or did you not think of anything? Additionally, you can try using external factors to limit your phone usage, such as setting a timer to shut it off or putting your phone in student mode. These are just some suggestions from me, hoping to help you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17068
       },
       {
        "question": "When I was a child, I was sexually abused by my older brother. Now, my inner turmoil is becoming increasingly unbearable. How can I resolve this?",
        "description": "When I was a child, my parents did not provide proper sex education to me. At the age of six or seven, I was sexually abused by my own brother, and in my teens, I was molested by him. Now, I am suffering deeply and feeling immense pain. I want to commit suicide. I really want to tell my mother, but I fear she won't believe me. I'm afraid that if I speak out, my family will treat me differently again. However, it was the fault of that beast, why should I have to endure it and accept my relatives' indifference? It is really painful to put on a facade of normalcy during the day, and I can only silently cry alone in the dark at night. How should I handle this situation? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological crisis, psychological counseling, trauma therapy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Regarding this, I hope you can hear a better answer from a professional to help you. **When you were six or seven years old, how old was your brother? If you were in your childhood, this so-called \"sexual abuse\" would be more like sexual play, which is a game and exploration conducted by children out of curiosity rather than actual sexual abuse in the true sense.** What was the situation when you were in your teens? Our attitude towards sex should be based on the principles of \"autonomy, respect, responsibility, and health.\" If you were violated, do you feel ashamed? But why should you be ashamed? It's not your fault, it's his fault, right? The sexual organs are just located differently. If we look at it from the perspective of equal organs, is it not similar in meaning to someone punching your face or hitting your head? By understanding it in this way, would you feel a bit better psychologically? We should protect our sexual organs just like we protect other organs. All organs have the right to privacy, right? \u03b5 I'm here, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's so difficult for you... The person who sexually assaulted you is your own brother, what a huge trauma! Even through the screen, I can feel your helplessness and pain. Legally speaking, your brother's actions constitute child molestation, and he can be sentenced to prison for that. However, has it been a long time since it happened? Did you keep any evidence at the time? Do your parents or relatives believe you? And do you have the courage to face the painful scars of your childhood? These are all things you need to consider. On the other hand, your silence over the years has actually suppressed it deep inside you, forming deep-rooted trauma. Trauma can have a huge impact on a person, and if it is not resolved or supported, it will accompany you like a shadow. What should you do? The conflict between the practical considerations and the desires deep inside you has exhausted you and caused you pain. I have given lectures on adolescent sexual education and preventing sexual abuse of girls to many transient teenagers. For children who have already been violated, I usually advise them to seek positive resources in their lives and professional psychological support. There is also an organization that specifically advocates for the protection of girls. You can follow their public account \"Girls' Protection\" and contact this group. There are many people who have gone through similar experiences like yours, and you can find support and warmth together. Additionally, there are many people who, with their own traumatic experiences, practice the concept of helping others and helping themselves by teaching about preventing sexual abuse, which can also be a way of healing. As for whether or not to use legal means to punish your own brother, that depends on your own judgment after seeking support and help. Finally, sending you hugs and wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Sending you a warm hug after reading your description, I feel very angry and indignant as well. Your brother's actions have crossed moral and legal boundaries. I feel heartbroken for what you've been through. Firstly, we must stop such actions that hurt us and seek the protection of those capable of protecting us: If you are worried about your parents not believing or unwilling to tell them, we can tell our teachers or other trusted individuals. However, on the other hand, parents can provide the most immediate protection for their children, so this also needs to be considered based on your actual situation. Choose a trusted adult to tell them about your situation as soon as possible. On the other hand, if your brother tries to harm you again, we need to learn to resist and do everything we can to prevent ourselves from getting hurt. Besides the people you know, you can also seek help from legal professionals in society. Don't worry about how your family might treat you if the situation is discovered. As you said, it's not your fault, and you don't need to take any responsibility for it. Instead, your brother should face the appropriate punishment. Let your inner strength grow.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, author, I am 19 years old this year, and I don't know if I am a little older or younger than you. When I was in third grade, I was sexually harassed by a middle-aged man. Only some people in my family know about this, I have never told anyone else. It has been about 10 years, and the memories have slowly faded. I usually act like it never happened and I rarely think about it. But when I saw your question, I was reminded of the past. It's quite a coincidence that I encountered a psychologist on this counseling platform who has had a similar experience. Child victims of this kind of harm are actually not uncommon, and we are actually quite lucky, really lucky, because we at least know that we have been hurt and intend to protect ourselves. Some children don't even know that they have been violated and continue to be harmed without knowing it when they grow up. Some adult women don't even know what happened when they were raped, because they lack knowledge in that area. Now, based on your situation, I will give you some advice. I don't know if it will be helpful or not, because what happened to me when I was a child was never resolved, because it is not realistic to find out who did it. 1. Find out why your brother did this. I think it's likely because of a lack of understanding about sex. Chinese society is still very conservative, and people generally become uncomfortable when talking about sex. Parents' sex education for children is lacking. Most children release their desires through masturbation, watching porn, and reading erotic stories online. Some may even try experimenting with others, such as your brother trying to see what it feels like to have sexual relations with someone else, thereby violating you. 2. Pay attention to self-protection. Be cautious around your brother. Because you can't be sure if he has had sexual relations with others outside, or if he may transmit some diseases to you. So keep your distance from him until it is resolved. 3. You should still tell your parents the truth. Because you are just worried that they won't believe you, but that's not necessarily true. Maybe your parents know about some of your brother's characteristics but haven't told you. And you are also their child. If they don't believe you, you can question them: why do they believe him and not me? 4. I suggest seeing a professional psychologist. Because my knowledge is limited, professional psychologists are more reliable. Rest assured, the content of psychological counseling is confidential. 5. Maybe it can be consulted with a lawyer. 6. You need evidence. For example, using a voice recorder, a small camera, etc., you need evidence to protect yourself. 7. Don't commit suicide!!! Don't commit suicide!!! People who commit suicide are the weakest. If you can't even protect your own life, how can you protect anyone else? Don't lose hope! There are always more solutions than difficulties!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12853
       },
       {
        "question": "Actually, I didn't catch a cold from being exposed to cold air. I just tend to get colds and coughs easily, which attracts attention.",
        "description": "The body tends to catch cold and cough easily, but the emotions are relatively stable, and there have been no significant events. I also exercise regularly. It may be related to my family's neglect of me. In my subconscious, I use getting sick to attract their attention. How can I break free from this vicious cycle?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Since you, the poster, have realized that it's due to your family's neglect that you feel this way, I suggest some difficult suggestions. Adjust them as you see fit. \u2460 Don't be ashamed to speak up. Communicate honestly (within the family). Overcome shame. Be a little spoiled, show vulnerability, and remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Should family only care about you when you're sick? Will they stay by your side when you need them? Is the attention you receive when you're ill enough to fulfill your needs? (Compared to a child who will keep nagging an indifferent parent until they finally look and say something.) \u2461 Love yourself. (Most effective) This is something that all those lacking love and self-love need to learn. Shift your focus onto yourself and treat yourself better because you lack love. Make yourself a better person (\uff1f\u2192_\u2192). \u2462 Seek love and friendships outside, derive it from there. This is a simpler suggestion, but the results are uncertain. Small mistakes can lead to severe consequences. I recommend following the sequence \u2461\u2460\u2462.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11049
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like I understand a lot of principles, but how can I move from knowing to actually doing?",
        "description": "I feel like I understand a lot of principles, but there are many things I can't do. How can I go from knowing to doing?",
        "keywords": "Growth, perfecting one's character.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Many times, we read a lot of books, learn a lot of principles, and when we see those principles, we can't help but think, \"Wow, that's really good, I must do it this way.\" But many times, those principles are returned to the authors the moment we put down our phones and books. Why is that? Because what you understand is what others have summarized, the principles derived from practice, not something you have realized on your own. Of course, it doesn't mean that other people's principles are useless to you. So how can you apply these \"wow, that's great\" principles to your life? Very simple, change your cognition, re-digest those principles, and turn them into your own understanding. You will find that there are some principles you agree with, but there are others that you cannot really agree with. And to achieve cognitive upgrading, well, it's not easy. I suggest reading more social science books, such as philosophy, sociology, psychology, economics, management, etc. Philosophy and psychology are the top recommendations, followed by sociology. Occasionally, consult with proactive psychologists, the world loves you and me.",
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        "questionID": 1560
       },
       {
        "question": "Emotions are easily agitated, sometimes even having suicidal thoughts, and unable to sleep at night.",
        "description": "My ex-boyfriend came to find me and touched me, but he cannot provide me with legal status. My parents have always known how to scold and beat me since I was young. Whether I did something wrong or not, they would blame me. I feel very wronged.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed feelings, anxious feelings, panic helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the description mentioned two aspects of your problems: emotional and family. Are these the main issues currently bothering you? We can discuss them separately. Let's start by talking about the family issue. I understand how you feel. It's frustrating when parents only resort to scolding and don't understand your feelings. Parents have their limitations too. They also come from a background of upbringing, where they may not have received proper care or education. They might have even grown up in an environment of physical punishment. If they haven't reflected and grown as adults, they are likely to adopt the same harsh disciplinary methods. We cannot choose our parents, and complaining about their parenting style won't help. We can try to look at these issues from a deeper perspective, understanding their limitations, and strive to grow and become different from them within our limited conditions. The fact that you're aware of these issues and seeking help here is a good start. Growth takes time and effort, so keep working on it! Now, let's move on to the relationship issue. Since your ex-boyfriend couldn't provide you with legal status, why didn't you reject him? Do you also subject yourself to such mistreatment in other interpersonal relationships? If so, it's easy to accumulate a lot of grievances and feel emotionally repressed. The emotional outbursts you mentioned, even the thoughts of suicide, might be related to this repression. I think in interpersonal relationships, we need to have our own principles and boundaries. We don't need to sacrifice ourselves or compromise just to please others. We can refuse unreasonable demands and respect our own feelings. Interpersonal relationships don't need to be complicated or excessive. Unhealthy relationships can drain our energy and make us feel uncomfortable and miserable. If you're unable to regulate your current psychological state on your own, I suggest seeking help from a psychologist or counselor. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: It sounds like you are experiencing significant mood swings and easily provoked, with thoughts of self-harm, is that correct? May I ask how old you are? How long has this condition been going on? What triggered your anxiety? It is understandable that your ex-boyfriend cannot provide you with a future, and it seems that your parents do not offer much recognition or acceptance, which has made you feel frustrated and aggrieved. It is remarkable that you have sought help on this platform, which demonstrates your courage and wisdom. However, counseling requires more information, possibly even a process. Keep going, and know that I will always love you!",
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        "questionID": 17053
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old female, parents argue, feeling depressed and uncomfortable for no reason at night, don't know why?",
        "description": "Now is during the National Day holiday, so let me first wish all the teachers a happy holiday (although it's a bit late). I am a sophomore student. Originally, I was very attached to home, so I chose to go back home for the holiday. But after returning home, I realized it was a wrong decision. All day today, my dad was like a ticking time bomb, venting his anger on everyone and constantly criticizing my mom. It made me feel really depressed all day. Although my dad is 47 years old, his emotional age is like that of a spoiled child. He always thinks he's the boss and that everyone should cater to him. He lectures my mom every now and then, and I can tell my mom feels really frustrated. I had some depressive feelings before, but they improved quite a bit after the start of the new semester. However, seeing my dad scold my mom all day after coming back home, especially when they were wallpapering the walls together in the evening and he kept picking fights, I feel so uncomfortable and depressed. I even wonder if all family atmospheres are like this. From the bottom of my heart, I can say that my dad doesn't have a traditional mindset of favoring sons over daughters. He treats me and my younger sister very well. However, I can't find the words to describe his attitude towards my mom. I'm afraid that my future family environment will be like this too. Tonight, I feel especially depressed and want to cry, but I don't know why.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive feelings, healing methods, anxious emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello. I have listened to your question. I can sense the anxiety and pain you are experiencing due to your current family situation. You mentioned that your father constantly blames your mother, creating a hostile atmosphere filled with verbal attacks in your family. This can be seen as a stressor for you, triggering your depressive and anxious feelings. It is normal to have such negative emotions when faced with such a family environment that causes distress and discomfort. The fact that you are willing to seek help and ask questions on this platform shows that you are strong and great because you are seeking to find solutions instead of being consumed by your emotions. You are doing well in this regard. Firstly, you asked if all families are like this. The truth is, not all families are like that. Although it is saddening, the most important thing is that when we become aware of problems within our family, we should find ways to solve them instead of staying in that situation. In your description, you mentioned that your father is an immature character who acts like a child. Does your mother primarily take on the responsibility of taking care of all of you in your daily lives? You mentioned that your father treats you and your sister well, but seems to constantly blame your mother. I am curious, does he behave this way towards everyone or only towards your mother? I have a suggestion: perhaps you can find some time to communicate alone with your father and express your feelings to him. For example, you can tell him that you don't like it when he blames your mother. You can also ask him why he constantly blames her. Maybe he has certain emotions towards your mother and uses blame and criticism as a way to express them. I think you can observe more and ask your father about it. Maybe you can discover answers that you haven't thought about before. If face-to-face communication is challenging, you can also try writing a letter or chatting through text. As for your current depressive feelings, you can try shifting your focus and handling this issue when your emotions are more stable. You can also try activities such as meditation, journaling, running, drawing, or any other activity that helps divert your attention or provides a healthy way of expressing your emotions.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see that you are feeling down, and returning home to find warmth and comfort from your family but instead experiencing a cold and distant atmosphere has created deep sadness. I want to give you a hug and sincerely tell you that in my surroundings, including my own family and my native family, most couples have the same way of interacting as your parents. It is lucky for children to have a harmonious relationship between their parents. The traumas and pain from our native families are generational, with anxious mothers, irritable fathers, absent fathers, and hardworking, nagging mothers. We unconsciously replicate the patterns of interaction from the previous generation. Although we despise and abhor our parents' behavior, their influence is deeply ingrained in our bones, infiltrating our subconsciousness. Does it mean that we can only passively succumb to the states of powerlessness, fear, sadness, and depression? No, there are self-protective and coping strategies. As children, our mental maturity and fears overwhelm us. We learn psychology for self-healing, seek guidance from external methods, and search within ourselves for awareness, change, growth, and empowerment. 1. Differentiate ourselves from our parents. Our parents' relationship is their own, which has nothing to do with us. Although many of our interpersonal relationships reflect the patterns of interaction in our native families, we need to downplay our connection with our parents, isolate ourselves from it, and understand that their fights and conflicts are not our fault. We should not take responsibility for their mistakes, nor accept the burden of heavy negative emotions, such as fear, guilt, sadness, entanglement, or anxiety. Instead, we should accept these emotional experiences, forgive our parents, and understand them. 2. Soothe our inner child. When we are controlled by this gloom, there are two versions of ourselves in our hearts: the independent, strong, and grown-up version of ourselves and the weak, insecure one. We should let the mature version embrace the vulnerable one and tell ourselves not to be afraid because I am here now and I am capable of soothing and protecting you. 3. Find support and resources. Share your feelings with grandparents, in-laws, or other relatives, or write them down as a form of soothing and expression. This pain itself brings growth, not just negative impacts. It allows us to communicate, argue, and obtain equal rights instead of suppressing and enduring things like our mothers. 4. Shift our focus. Find our own hobbies, read, exercise, take action, do housework, or take on part-time jobs. Write something online or live stream to alleviate our sadness and not give ourselves too much time to sink into it. 5. Give ourselves extra credit. Acknowledge the positives: both parents prioritize education, both parents are healthy, and siblings are beautiful, among other achievements. Seeking help from a professional counselor is also an option. I wish you well.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, the topic creator, a mental health counselor. In your description, I only see the behavioral manifestations. To further investigate, I need more clues. My understanding is as follows, please confirm if it's correct: (1) Your parents are caring and good to you and your sister. (2) You are a child who loves home. (3) You feel depressed and think your father's attitude and behavior towards your mother make you feel that he is childish and needs others to accommodate him. (4) You worry that your future family will be the same. (5) From the comments, it seems that you are a child who likes to read novels. Based on the above, I think you have a high psychological sensitivity and tend to view things with a more authoritative perspective. Do your parents love each other? Has your father always treated your mother this way, or is this recent? How does your mother treat your father? Perhaps there are many things you haven't fully understood and you are looking at behaviors with subjective thoughts, which are always biased. It may be that your father has recently encountered difficulties in his life or work, or perhaps this is the way your parents interact but they love each other. Maybe just as you said, he doesn't treat your mother well, or even doesn't love her, but he has not engaged in extreme behaviors (such as hitting or other harmful actions). It could just be a character flaw of your father's, because does one's character flaw necessarily mean they are unkind to others? It's not necessarily the case. Also, your worry about future marriage shows that you are already thinking about your future life and even dating. Let me assure you, unless for artistic creation, don't easily imagine others' suffering. Perhaps it's much better than you imagine. (3) Feeling depressed is a normal thing. The key is to understand it and determine whether it is real or just fantasy. Above all, I wish you a joyful mood. People with strong subjective consciousness are suitable for artistic creation and innovation. Keep it up!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I understand your feelings of helplessness and anger towards your parents' relationship status. However, there is little you can do about it, and I think this may be causing you to feel depressed and down. Let's talk about how to overcome these depressive feelings. Our relationship with our parents is very close, but the reality is that we cannot choose who our parents are or control the state of their relationship with each other. As we grow up, we may have the opportunity to talk to them in a lighthearted manner, such as jokingly expressing a hope for our dad to treat our mom better and show her more care, or playfully being affectionate with dad. I believe if our dad is in a positive mood, he may be able to listen to us. However, it's important not to approach him with anger and emotions because, after all, he is an elder and may not be receptive. Another point I want to make is that regardless of the state of our lives, such as whether our parents' relationship is good or bad, we need to try not to let our emotions be affected by them, otherwise, we will feel very miserable. We need to calm ourselves down and accept the current circumstances, even if they are a bit difficult. When we can accept and calm down, with fewer emotions in our hearts, the answers will become clear. We can also suggest to our parents to do things together occasionally, like going shopping or traveling on weekends, or going to the park to have fun. Changing the environment might make things better. I wish you all the best!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear, I can feel your unhappiness from your words and understand that there is no one you can talk to about it. You have chosen to ask for help here, and I hope my words can provide some assistance. As an observer, I will analyze the situation from various aspects. I hope you can reflect on it yourself. 1. Has your father always had such a hot temper, or is it just on National Day? 2. You feel uncomfortable and don't understand your father's attitude towards your mother, but he treats you and your sister well. People tend to sympathize with the weak and feel that your mother is being bullied. It may be a habit for your father to take your mother's side automatically. Does your mother need to adjust her way of getting along with your father? 3. You are afraid and worried about your future family life. It is possible that it may continue to be like this, but it can also be happy. The term \"original family\" is quite popular, but everyone has a choice. You can choose to be like this or not. The decision is in your hands. There is no book that teaches us how to be good fathers, mothers, husbands or wives. We learn directly on the job, and some learn from the previous generation. However, only you know if the shoes fit. Whether it's marriage or any other relationship, it takes time to adjust and find a comfortable mode of interaction. If you feel that your mother is being bullied, has she expressed her needs? I suggest having a good conversation, expressing your inner feelings. Home is a place of warmth and love. Your father is good to you and your sister, which shows that there is love. However, if you feel uncomfortable in this environment, let your father know. Sometimes parents don't know how to express their love, and sometimes they need their children to teach them. Since there are still a few days left in the National Day holiday, why not have a family meeting and have a sincere and calm conversation, expressing your feelings and allowing love to be expressed. I wish your family harmony and happy growth.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, question asker. After reading this description, aside from empathizing with you and understanding your current state of mind, I am wondering why your father is behaving this way. Why does your mother accept this reality? What do they hope to gain from it? Why do they maintain this kind of dynamic? You mentioned feeling depressed after listening to your father criticize your mother all day. If I were in your position, I would also feel suppressed and resentful because emotions are influenced by external factors. Just the thought that he is \"my\" parent, what more can \"I\" do? You mentioned, \"When you got home and saw your father, he spent the whole day berating your mother, especially at night when he and your mother were putting up wallpaper and he was picking faults everywhere. Your heart feels incredibly upset and depressed. Have you ever wondered if all family atmospheres are like this?\" Here I need to clarify that not all families are like this. The reason why your family has reached this state is that there must be specific factors that allow it to continue and maintain this seemingly \"dysfunctional\" form. Let's try to look at your family and the issues that arise from the perspective of an outsider. I have many questions and curiosities. I want to know why your father is picking faults and what purpose he hopes to achieve. Is this expression normal or does it only happen when you are home? In your text, you mentioned, from the bottom of your heart, your father does not have a traditional mindset of favoring sons over daughters and treats you and your sister very well, but you are unclear about how to describe his attitude towards your mother. From this, it is apparent that there seems to be some conflict or misunderstanding between your father and mother. If you want to change this situation, you can try asking your mother and father what happened between them and what has led to the current situation. How do you want to face your parents' situation? If you don't have the ability or understanding to coordinate, you can seek the help of a family therapist or let them resolve it on their own. It is because we do not want to experience this kind of situation in our own future families that you fear that your future family environment will be like this. Perhaps in your current cognition, you believe that this will inevitably happen in your future family, which is why you feel particularly anxious and depressed. Because we don't want to and don't want to experience this kind of situation again, we are afraid that this kind of thing will happen to us in the future. It may seem like a vicious cycle, but in reality, we can change this cognitive pattern through objective and rational analysis. You can try asking yourself how you would solve the problem if this problem really occurs in the future. Would you act like your parents do now? You will not become like your parents, because you are currently trying to avoid and evade this kind of conflict. How can you argue endlessly? What you can control is to distinguish what you can decide and what you cannot. Your parents' quarrels are their own business, and as an observer, you fundamentally cannot influence their thoughts and actions. So this matter belongs to others, and you just need to say to yourself, \"This is my parents' issue, and I will do my best to do what I can, but no matter how much I do, I can accept it.\" Your current emotional state is up to you to decide, so you have the right and ability to break free from the current environment and restore your own state of mind. We can try using methods such as body relaxation techniques, diaphragmatic breathing, mindfulness meditation, reading books, and writing notes to record your emotions, and so on, to free yourself from the troubles of depression and other negative emotions. Finally, I hope the content and viewpoints mentioned above can help you further understand your family and your own state. I sincerely wish that you can find a suitable way to overcome your current situation for yourself and your family. Good luck.",
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          "answer_text": "I can understand how you feel, both your parents are people you deeply love in your heart, and you are also very attached to this family, so you choose to go home for the holidays. So when you see your mom being criticized by your dad, you feel even more upset. But this is something your parents need to deal with. If your mom is willing to endure being spoken to this way all day without resisting or finding a solution, then what can others do? Your mom is also an adult and can make different choices to make herself happier. Your dad is clearly in the wrong, unable to control his temper and always attacking your mom, but your mom hasn't chosen to leave. Either she doesn't feel bothered by what he says, or she has chosen to tolerate it. Regardless of the reason, she has chosen to stay in this marriage, and as children, we can't interfere. If you can persuade your dad not to treat your mom this way, then of course that would be great, but if you can't persuade him, then what we as children can do is actually very limited. Anyway, your mom has chosen to stay with your dad, and that is her decision, so all we can do is not let these things affect us. You can choose to go back to school, or do other things during the day to distract yourself, go home and sleep at night, or go to relatives' and friends' homes. As for your mom and dad, it's something you have no power to control, so all you can do now is consider yourself. Because you know what an unhappy marriage is like, you should be more cautious in choosing a life partner, and select someone who truly treats you well and respects you. Just because your dad is like this doesn't mean all men in the world are like this. I know many people around me who have very happy marriages, and they understand how to consider things from each other's perspectives and know how to take care of each other. Even if there are occasional conflicts and arguments, it doesn't result in one person reproaching the other all day long. I find that unbearable, and I believe you do too, so what do you think you would choose to do? Even if you really encounter such a situation, do you have to stay in an unhappy marriage until the end of your life? Remember that you always have the freedom to choose, so you have the ability to not perpetuate the marriage pattern of your parents.",
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          "answer_text": "@Hello friend, I saw your question and I really want to help you! - I see that you are very attached to your family and that your parents love you very much. Your mood is influenced by your father's attitude and behavior towards your mother. Is your father's behavior normal or is it just during the National Day period? If it is recent, it is possible that something happened at work or between your parents. I suggest you talk to your parents, show them more concern, and understand the situation better so that you can help ease their mood. When you see them getting along well, your mood will also improve. - From a physiological perspective, both of your parents are in their menopausal age and they need understanding and care from their family. The symptoms of male menopause are as follows: 1. Psychological symptoms: mainly changes in temperament, such as low mood, sadness, feeling of suffocation, or nervousness, irritability, or being suspicious and lack of trust. 2. Dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system: mainly cardiovascular symptoms, such as palpitations, discomfort in the chest area, or fluctuations in blood pressure, dizziness, tinnitus, sweating, gastrointestinal symptoms, such as loss of appetite, abdominal distension, irregular bowel movements, and symptoms of neurasthenia, such as insomnia, restless sleep, easy awakening, memory decline, forgetfulness, and slow reaction. 3. Sexual dysfunction: common symptoms include decreased libido, impotence, premature ejaculation, and low semen volume. 4. Changes in body shape: overall muscle relaxation, increased subcutaneous fat, weight gain, showing a \"full-bodied\" appearance. - If your father's behavior that makes you depressed is a normal pattern, then it is necessary to understand his individual personality. People's personalities are greatly influenced by their original family. Change is difficult, but you can communicate more with your parents, understand each other and help each other to become better versions of yourselves. - Through counseling work, I have come to realize the common saying that \"every family has its own difficulties\" and that it is not only your family that is unhappy. You have overcome so many things, and I hope you can find happiness! If this is helpful, please give it a thumbs up. Thank you!",
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       },
       {
        "question": "How to determine if there are problems in the prospective partner's family background?",
        "description": "My blind date is from a rural area, a male. A few days ago during the Mid-Autumn Festival, he didn't plan to go home. He said it's the busy farming season at home and he didn't want to go back to help with the work because it's tiring. He also doesn't plan to report the progress of our relationship in person, saying that phone contact is enough. After he went home, he complained to me that he had to help his family with cooking, saying that he hasn't escaped from it in 30 years. He came back just one day after going home, and his older brother and sister-in-law brought him back. He described his father as having a low level of education, saying something like \"When he scolds me, he's quite smooth...\".",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, blind dates.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "I am glad to answer your questions. Seeing your question, I think this is a question that many young people, especially those who have some understanding of psychology, consider when choosing a partner. [In fact, the majority of people have experienced trauma from their origin family.] The origin family does have a significant impact on the psychological growth and many qualities that are formed under this influence (such as sense of responsibility, ambition, and sense of security in marriage) directly affect the happiness of future marriages and families. If you haven't established a deep emotional connection yet, it is indeed possible to make judgments and identify based on this aspect, in order to make a better choice for yourself. Of course, if you already have a strong emotional foundation, it is recommended to grow together with the guidance of a psychologist, gradually improving the potential impact that the origin family may have on your future family. It is important to know that the majority of us come with some kind of trauma. For different reasons such as cultural level, cognitive ability, and social emphasis on family education, our childhoods have left us with some traumatic experiences. But these \"not-so-good\" experiences allow us to constantly discover and improve ourselves. In fact, life should be like this. [The relationship patterns in the origin family are a shadow of future relationship patterns.] As for how to judge through the origin family, the relationship pattern is very important. In psychology, it is said that \"the relationship pattern in the origin family largely determines future relationship patterns.\" Therefore, you can infer your future relationship based on observing their interactions with opposite-sex members of their origin family. For example, if their mother is extremely doting and they have a strong dependence on their mother, then you will also be responsible for taking care of them in the future. Similarly, if they have a long-standing tense relationship with their father, they may not handle relationships with same-sex authority figures such as bosses well in the workplace, leading to more obstacles in their work. Of course, these relationship patterns in the origin family are just a microcosm, and if they are aware of the impact of these patterns and make efforts to modify and improve them, there will be significant differences. [The quality of parents' relationship affects their trust in marital emotions.] If they have lived in a family where parents constantly argue, have a troubled relationship, or even experience infidelity, then witnessing these marital conditions from childhood could lead to a lack of trust in marital emotions, resulting in a decreased sense of responsibility in the family and other aspects. In contrast, if they have grown up in a harmonious family where their parents have a good relationship, it will increase their sense of security in marital emotions, giving them more confidence and strength to maintain a happy family and having a stronger ambition in their work. Therefore, paying attention to the quality of their parents' relationship will help you understand their inner values \u200b\u200band attitudes towards marital emotions. [Parents' parenting styles affect their approach to future children's education.] If we have not deliberately studied or improved our knowledge of parenting, then after becoming parents, we will most likely continue to use the parenting styles of our origin family, such as the father often scolding them. In the future, they are likely to adopt a similar approach with their children, which perpetuates a repeating problem. Of course, if you can learn and improve together, it will also improve to a certain extent. In summary, when choosing a partner, it is good to consider the situation of their origin family as a reference, but it is best not to make a final decision based solely on this aspect because the influence of the origin family is not absolute. As long as you both make efforts, you can create your own happiness.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: It is often said that getting married means not only marrying the person but also marrying their family. This statement holds some truth in my understanding. I have noticed your question and your search for help, which undoubtedly helps you gain more perspectives on your partner's family background. Now I would like to share my observations, which might help you have a broader perspective. \n\n1. The relationship patterns we have with others are projections of our relationship patterns with our parents and our family of origin. To a large extent, these patterns determine our future relationship patterns. This is because we internalize the relationship patterns between our parents and our relationship patterns with our parents, thus forming our own internal relationship patterns - the relationship patterns we have with ourselves. When we interact with others, we tend to project our own relationship patterns onto our relationships with them. Therefore, to understand the patterns in your partner's family of origin, you can perhaps make inferences based on your own interactions with your partner. Of course, the accuracy of this inference depends on the extent to which your partner has reconciled with their family of origin. There is no perfect family of origin, but we can strive to be better individuals. If your partner is aware of the influence of their family of origin and has learned to reconcile with them, their internal relationship patterns may be adjusted. However, our relationship patterns often bear the mark of our family of origin. That is why you can observe more about the patterns in your own interactions with your partner and compare them with the information you have about your partner's family of origin. For example, if your partner describes certain traits of their father, you can see if they exhibit any similar traits in your interactions. Pay attention to their relationship with their mother, as this is likely to be the pattern you will encounter in the future.\n\n2. Have a conversation with your prospective partner. During the process of getting to know each other, you can look for opportunities to have frank discussions about your own views on your family of origin, some interesting stories or memorable events that happened in your families, and even discuss your impressions of each other's parents. These conversations provide information on potential issues in their family of origin. The stability of the relationship between parents directly influences a person's attitude towards relationships. The emotional stability of parents affects the atmosphere of a household. Furthermore, if your partner tends to complain, you can also assess whether it is a common trait among their family members, and so on.\n\n3. Family of origin is just a reference. The most important thing in a relationship is the relationship between you and your partner. Knowing what you want will help you determine whether they are suitable for you. No one is perfect. The essence of love is the integration of imperfections. Therefore, the family of origin is just a reference. There may be traumas from the family of origin, but it should not hinder the possibility of your growth together.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "While the family of origin is undoubtedly important, ultimately it depends on the person you are with. After all, it is you and your prospective partner who will spend the rest of your lives together, not his family. Even if someone is born into a flawed family, if they are aware of the issue and actively work on improving themselves, then their family of origin shouldn't be a major concern. The individual's subjective willpower is still crucial. From the description provided by the original poster, it seems that the partner's parents have a strong need for control, as evidenced by the fact that the man claims to have never escaped certain responsibilities at home for 30 years, and his father scolds him. However, more detailed descriptions are necessary to understand the situation fully. The partner's parents may have a low level of cultural education, as many people from this era haven't received proper education due to the circumstances of the time. Instead of focusing on the partner's family of origin, it is better to carefully evaluate the individual themselves: how they interact with others, how they treat you, whether they can control their emotions, and whether they are responsible and considerate. Can they respect you and consider your feelings rather than imposing their own will on you and attempting to control you? Many problems in family of origin often arise from a lack of education and outdated thinking. For example, some people don't know how to foster independence and autonomy in their children and instead indulge them excessively. Others have no idea about emotional regulation techniques and allow their emotions to run wild. These issues can be improved through education and training, which is our generation's advantage. Compared to our parents' generation, we have more knowledge, are more open to new ideas, and are aware of the limitations of our parents' generation. Therefore, we can choose not to repeat their mistakes. So, just because his father scolds others doesn't mean he will do the same. Observing the person through daily interactions is a good method. You can also ask their opinion on certain matters to gauge their values. For example, do they believe in traditional gender roles where the man is the provider and the woman takes care of the home? Is it acceptable for a woman to have a career? If circumstances prevent me from having children, would you still be with me? Listen to how they respond and if it aligns with your desires. Similarly, even if someone's family of origin is perfect, it doesn't necessarily mean they are the right person for you. They will still have their own thoughts and values. The key is whether you get along and if your values align. If the original poster still has doubts, observe the situation more, spend more time with the partner. If the partner is already a responsible, independent adult who has the right to make decisions about their own life, then there's no need to focus too much on their family of origin. After all, who hasn't experienced childhood pain?",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Finding a partner is indeed a decision that needs careful consideration, and you have raised a very good question. I believe this is a concern for many people. First, let me summarize the content and the issues I have seen. Please let me know if I understood correctly. First, you have a blind date partner who is from a rural area but currently lives in a big city. Second, during the Mid-Autumn Festival, he didn't want to go home but eventually went back. Third, he contacted you from his hometown, complaining about the life and people there. Fourth, he returned to the city the next day or was brought back. Fifth, his behavior has raised doubts about his family background. Now, let me analyze my understanding and give my point of view. First, regarding your blind date partner, are you in a committed relationship or still in the process of getting to know each other? It seems to me that you are still assessing the situation. Second, based on the description of this man, I have noticed a few points: he holds hostility towards his family and does not plan to go home. During busy times in the countryside, he doesn't seem willing to help his tired family members. He is not respectful towards his family when it comes to informing about the progress of your relationship. He complains about his family and has been wanting to escape from their burdens for 30 years. It seems like he has been leading a miserable life in this family. When everyone is busy with farming work, they still have to bring him back, which shows a lack of independence. He complains about his father's lack of education and disrespect towards elders. Third, there are issues with his family background. From what this man has described, he is very dissatisfied with his family, and it has caused harm to him. There is nothing worth being nostalgic about in that family. He now seems disinterested. The whole description, especially the man's words, is filled with strong emotions. Many of his descriptions reflect dissatisfaction. It's as if he is trying to distance himself from this \"terrible\" family or make it clear that he has nothing to do with this miserable family. Fourth, the issue of boundaries. I agree that each of us should establish boundaries with our family of origin. However, I believe it is better to approach this matter with a peaceful attitude. Even if the family of origin is not good, it is still the place where we were born and raised. If there is only resentment without gratitude, I think it may indicate that this man has a somewhat one-sided view of things. Fifth, the whole question describes this man's words and actions, but the final question is not about whether the man is reliable, but whether his family of origin is reliable. This surprised me a bit. In my opinion, if this man is good, then the appearance of his family of origin can be overlooked. However, if this man is not suitable, even a good family of origin cannot make the relationship work. Therefore, the quality of this man is the key to choosing a partner. Here are a few suggestions for you: be cautious when meeting someone through blind dates, as there is no emotional foundation, and multiple considerations are necessary. A person's words are important, but their actions are even more important. If you are unsure, you can seek advice from friends and family. Consider multiple perspectives. I suggest learning some psychology knowledge, as it can help you understand yourself and others better. I hope my answer is helpful to you. Good luck.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, before understanding the native family, I sincerely hope that you reconsider whether you want to live the rest of your life with this person. The fact that he chose not to come home during the Mid-Autumn Festival to avoid the busy farming season shows that he lacks a sense of responsibility towards his family. The fact that he doesn't plan to report on the progress of your relationship and has yet to introduce the girl to his parents proves that his feelings are not sincere. Complaining about washing pots for his family for 30 years shows that he has an average level of perseverance and hard work. And looking down on his father's low level of education reflects a lack of gratitude. And he is still a man. The original family does have an impact on a person, but it only influences them. It is ultimately their own choice to determine their character. The person you want to spend the rest of your life with is this person, not his family. A man worthy of trust should be responsible, acknowledge the present, and actively assume responsibilities. Respecting parents is the foundation of a lifelong companionship. The above is just personal advice for your reference. If he is truly suitable for you, as long as you have no regrets in your heart, I wish you a happy and fulfilling life.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the main topic, after reading your question, I have been thinking a lot. I think it's beneficial for your future relationship that you have considered this in advance. I'll share some thoughts with you in the hope that they will be helpful. To see if there are any issues with his family background, first look at how he usually behaves and how he treats you. Although he says he doesn't want to go home to help with housework, it feels like he doesn't care about his parents. But at least he expressed his true self in front of you. Some people may keep it to themselves. Everyone may want to escape when they are tired, and I don't think this problem is particularly serious. But it depends on whether he knows how to be grateful. The most worthy aspect of a person to engage with is knowing how to be grateful and cherish. If he is afraid of getting tired, he can help his parents in other ways, such as giving money, etc. Although it's better if he personally helps his parents with the housework. Whether to develop an intimate relationship is mainly determined by three aspects. Whether he can financially meet your needs, the level of acceptance he has towards you, and if he is reliable. You should focus on evaluating these three aspects, which can only be known through interaction. Whether he can be by your side and provide you with the care and help you need when you need him. Whether he is picky about you, etc. These can also reveal the influence of his family background. As long as you approach it with a lifelong learning attitude, some problems can be solved. We are all constantly growing, as long as we don't close ourselves off and discover problems, we can find ways to solve them bit by bit. Even if his family background has some issues, if you both sincerely love each other and are willing to face various problems, they can be repaired. We become better versions of ourselves by being together, nurturing each other. That's what a good intimate relationship is. Finally, I wish you all the best!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, my first impression is that you need to be cautious about dating this person. He mentioned that his family is busy with farming and he doesn't want to go back home during vacations. In my personal opinion, parents raise us to adulthood, and although we can't always be with them, it is a rare opportunity to go back and share some of their burdens. But he chooses to avoid it. If he gets married in the future, will he deliberately come home late to avoid doing household chores? Isn't it normal to have responsibilities like cooking in rural areas? Does entering the city mean looking down on rural people? He says he hasn't been able to escape for 30 years, it shows that he despises his own background. Not only does he despise his own origins, but now he also despises his parents. It is said that the elders know more due to the bridges they have crossed in life, although this statement may be exaggerated, they haven't lived their lives in vain. Based on his comments about his parents' attitude, even if he reports the progress of his relationship over the phone, he won't go into details. I think you don't need to understand his family background now. In the process of dating him, you will understand what kind of person he is and whether you should continue the relationship or not. This is just my personal opinion for your reference. I hope you find true happiness soon!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the concerns you have, I understand them. Your blind date partner is from a rural area, and the two of you have had vastly different upbringings, which can lead to continuous differences in your interactions and lifestyles. It is a responsibility for the boy to help out with the busy farming at home. I am also from a rural area, and although it is tough, helping parents with their work is an unquestionable duty. Some psychologists believe that the way we interact with our parents in our early years forms the pattern of our interpersonal relationships. Not reporting and only calling to say hello, a warm and loving extended family will not look down upon a rural family. The lack of confidence in introducing you to his family may be because he worries that you will look down upon them, while also projecting his own dissatisfaction with his family and himself. His father's disciplinary actions and lack of understanding and care have left him without the internal strength and resources to face all the difficulties and setbacks in life with courage. His older brother and sister-in-law are nice and have given him warmth. He is like a big boy, constantly complaining about the household chores in the countryside due to his brother and father's indulgence. Throughout our lives, we cannot escape from the attachment to our primary family, even though we may complain repeatedly. Family members can both love and harm each other, and the boy's words and actions are understandable, as he hasn't experienced similar situations himself. It is also possible to understand by putting ourselves in his shoes. Best wishes.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "This is still relatively easy to judge. First, look at how the person gets along with their family, whether there are frequent quarrels, conflicts, lack of communication, lack of respect when visiting each other's homes, or any extreme behaviors. If there is strong parental control and the parent-child relationship is not very harmonious with various issues, it indicates that the family faces certain challenges. Second, observe the individual's values and attitude towards their original family. Do they frequently express hatred or resentment towards their parents and family? Do they complain about society and the impact of the family on themselves? Do they have a cynical attitude? If the person frequently complains about various family matters, is not too concerned about them, has an extreme personality, and is prone to anger and irritability, it suggests that their family situation is not particularly good. Lastly, look at how the siblings get along with each other. Do they have intense conflicts, such as borrowing money, which lead to serious family tensions? In a relatively harmonious family, there is mutual respect and understanding among family members, and there is no imposition of one's own will on others. If you find that there are too many grievances between siblings and parents in daily life, the relationship atmosphere in this family needs improvement.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7227
       },
       {
        "question": "How should the expenses in a romantic relationship be calculated?",
        "description": "I am a female and have always had a question. Should we split the expenses equally with men in a romantic relationship, or is it better to have clear boundaries in this way? If the man spends more money than us, would it be a problem? How should we handle the issue of expenses between couples?",
        "keywords": "Dating, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! This applies to the issue of consumption as well. You can gradually develop comfortable spending habits in your relationship with your boyfriend. As for the question of who pays more and who pays less, it doesn't need to be divided too clearly, but it also shouldn't be completely ignored. For example, you can pay for a meal this time, and your boyfriend can pay for the next meal. Alternatively, you can split the bill equally, but be more casual when it comes to gifting each other. The most important thing is to find a state where both of you feel comfortable. These are just my suggestions, and I hope they can help you. Best wishes!",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21843
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old, after breaking up with a 4-year relationship, found that there are no friends around? What should I do?",
        "description": "I recently broke up with my girlfriend of four years. Our mutual friends seem to get along better with her than with me. The friends I currently have are just acquaintances, and I genuinely consider them as friends. I wonder why they don't enjoy hanging out with me. I believe I am quite good at socializing, but now I don't have any true friends. Moreover, I am working in a different city from where my family is, and our relationship is just average. I have never been close to my family and rarely talk to them. I used to communicate with my ex-girlfriend about everything, but now that we have broken up, I feel really miserable. I have lost my only communication partner, and I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Author, hello~~~ First, give the author a hug. When you had a partner, you shared a social circle with them, had friends and companions. But after breaking up, you realized that you didn't have friends and social connections that belong solely to you. Most of them were maintained through your girlfriend, so you feel puzzled and uncomfortable. You don't know how to change this situation. The author's title trivializes, reminding me of the boys and girls who dated in middle and high school. At that time, when they established friendships with the same sex, the couple's thoughts were focused on each other, and they didn't value or communicate with their friends around them. So, as the couple became inseparable, they might realize that they didn't have any close friends left. Because friendship is mutual, it requires sincerity from both sides, and reciprocation of emotions to sustain it. During the process of being in a relationship, if there's no attention given to communicating with friends around, situations like the author's are likely to arise. To recover your own friends now, sincerity is still needed, exchanging genuine feelings for friends. However, this may be a process of starting from scratch.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21821
       },
       {
        "question": "I have passed the written test and now I have to do an interview. I am very nervous, what should I do?",
        "description": "I have an upcoming job interview, but I have been feeling physically unwell recently due to excessive nervousness. I am really afraid of being surpassed in the interview.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Emotion Regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, here is an extraterrestrial object. First of all, congratulations to the main candidate for passing the written test. You should believe in yourself first. Since you passed the written test, there should be no problem with the interview. After all, you have already surpassed many people in the written test. Before the interview, don't worry too much about the consequences. After all, the interview has not started yet, and everything is still unknown. Excessive worry will only make you feel more anxious. It is still recommended that you read more interview tips and check if there are any details in your introduction that have errors. Prepare for your interview more, when you are fully prepared, you will be very confident. By then, you will not worry about being surpassed by others. If you are well prepared, remember to rest more and face the interview with a perfect mental state. Finally, I wish you a successful interview.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12177
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is the psychological construction always completely collapsing to the point of nothingness in the public examination interview?",
        "description": "In the past two years, I have participated in public service examinations and made it to the second and first place in the written tests. However, I failed miserably in the interviews. On one hand, it may be due to a lack of knowledge in interview techniques. On the other hand, my overall mental state was not good. Perhaps it has something to do with my family background. I grew up with few elders around, my grandfather and father are both only children. Moreover, my father used to work in the transportation industry and most of my friends have a rough demeanor. I rarely interacted with older relatives in politics. At home, my father and uncle have a very casual attitude, saying whatever they want without much restraint, and occasional clashes are tolerated. I don't have that traditional sense of politeness. Each industry has its own unique atmosphere, so when facing seven or eight older examiners in the examination room, I feel confused and lost. Even if I am well-prepared before the exam, my thoughts become scattered and I can't stick to the questions, leading to disorganized answers. I wonder if this factor affects my psychology and performance. Can you help me analyze the problem? How can I change in order to improve my performance in exams? By the way, I don't get stage fright and perform normally in one-on-one interviews in the private sector, but when there are multiple examiners in public service examinations, I become flustered. What can I do for effective mental development?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Your performance in the written test, obtaining first or second place, shows that your knowledge is solid and you have a strong foundation and ability. The mistakes in the interview mainly stem from the use of interview skills and the influence of your mental state in the moment. Public examination interviews are conducted with multiple examiners and the atmosphere on-site can be more serious, which is very different from social interviews and the family environment you have been accustomed to. Therefore, you are facing the pressure of an environmental change, and it is normal to feel nervous, anxious, or even confused when you are unable to adapt to the situation in a timely manner. The written test has been successful, making the interview even more important as it determines whether you can pass. Therefore, you place great importance on the interview, feeling tense and under a lot of pressure, becoming overly concerned and anxious about the outcome. In this state, you will pay more attention to your own performance and the examiner's reaction, and unconsciously amplify them. You may also engage in speculation about the examiner's intentions. Your thinking is inundated with external information and negativity, which can affect your ability to think clearly and contribute to confusion. The way you interact with your father and others at home is equal and relaxed, and their authoritative image is relatively weak for you. In contrast, examiners have a strong authoritative image. It is normal for people to feel nervous in the presence of authority, so your reaction is natural. The change in environmental atmosphere, excessive anxiety about the interview result, and nervousness about authority all contribute to your confused state and underperformance on-site. Therefore, it is recommended that you make the following improvements: first, learn some interview skills, grasp key points in the interview process, and enhance your confidence so that you can better handle challenges from the examiner. Then, adjust your mindset, including: \u2460Do not obsess over the interview result and prepare yourself mentally to accept any outcome. Do not excessively focus on the examiner's reaction and negativities. As long as you have done your best, regardless of the result, you will have no regrets. Even if this interview doesn't go well, it does not mean you lack ability, as the written test has already proven your capabilities. \u2461Correct your attitude towards authority. Neither underestimate nor excessively fear it. Understand that the seriousness of the examiner and the interview atmosphere are normal aspects of an examination setting, indicating that the exam is conducted in a formal, fair, and strict manner that all candidates must go through, not just you. \u2462Understand and adapt to the characteristics of different social situations, timely change your role, and adjust your mindset and behavior. At home, you are a son and a junior, and the older generation treats you kindly and takes care of you in many ways. However, in society, whether it's in an exam room or various work situations, you are a candidate or a social worker, and others are your superiors, colleagues, or assessors. You need to approach them with this role, communicate and interact with them. During such times, it is necessary to have an appropriate level of nervousness and a serious and earnest attitude. The most crucial thing is to understand the characteristics of different social situations and roles, to recognize and accept them, and to promptly adapt yourself. This process will inevitably create some pressure and discomfort, but it is a part of personal growth. Wishing you the ability to quickly adapt to new social roles and better accept new challenges.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answer can help you: First, let's summarize the situation you described: \u25b2 You ranked first or second in the written exams of two public examinations, but didn't succeed \u25b2 You feel that your state of mind is not good and that you haven't been disciplined enough by your elders since childhood \u25b2 When facing older examiners, your thoughts become chaotic and scattered. The civil service exam itself is indeed challenging, involving comprehensive knowledge, aptitude tests, psychology, interviews, etc. It represents the selection of talents at the national level, so it is not that simple. However, from your performance in the written exams, you are obviously very good at exams, ranking in the top two, and can even be described as a top student. It shows that you have made a diligent preparation. Diligent preparation has proven effective for the written exams. However, the interview is different. The interview questions are unknown, testing your ability to perform on the spot and adaptability. This brings up another issue, which is your relationship with the examiner. From a psychological perspective, it is obvious that when facing examiners, you are projecting your relationship with your grandfather and father. Your father has a strong personality, and you and your elders may have some boundary issues, not giving you a proper psychological boundary. So when facing authority, you don't know how to maintain the right mindset; on the other hand, you feel lost when facing authority. Have your elders also given you inappropriate feelings of authority, causing you to have some fear since childhood? In fact, the number of examiners doesn't matter. The main problem is that when facing them, your mind is unsettled, leading to panic, and nervousness can lead to mistakes. This needs to be strengthened in the future. Blessings to you, and I recommend seeking specialized counseling for personal growth. I am here, the world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, what makes you attach such importance to the civil service examination? Sometimes having a clear goal can contribute to your success. Is it the pressure from your family or your own motivation? This is crucial. You failed in the interviews during the two-year preparation, which may have had an impact on you. Are you still planning to take the civil service exam for the third time? It seems that you feel immense pressure in a one-on-many situation, and you become flustered under pressure. If you have a clear idea in your mind but fail to express it due to nervousness, it is possible to achieve a change through adjustment.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 21410
       },
       {
        "question": "Want to lose weight but can't control snacking?",
        "description": "As mentioned, every time I make up my mind to lose weight, I just can't help but want to eat as soon as I sit down.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, binge eating and restrictive eating",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, have you ever sat down and not felt the urge to eat like you did before? What were you thinking at that time? Or were you distracted by other things? You can try to repeat those thoughts or do activities that help shift your attention. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where the more you tried to control your thoughts, the more out of control they became? The more you try to control, the more anxious you become, and your ability to manage becomes worse. Maybe you can try to let go of control. Treat weight loss as something natural, rather than something that requires strict control. Sometimes, letting go of control is true control. These are just some suggestions I have, hope they can help you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21725
       },
       {
        "question": "Always stuck in a cycle, why is growing up so difficult?",
        "description": "Originally, I was looking for this job to experience personal spiritual growth and to recognize the patterns that always trap me. It wasn't about making money. However, faced with the daily trivialities, contradictions, and entanglements, I couldn't help but fall back into that predetermined mud... How can I see myself in all of this?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality refinement, self-development, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in your post, I can see that your original intention is very good, and I would even say that your level of consciousness and awareness is higher than many people, including myself. \"At that time, I was looking for this job to experience personal spiritual growth, not to make money.\" However, after truly immersing myself in the work, I found that \"faced with the daily trivialities, contradictions, and entanglements, I couldn't help but fall into that predetermined quagmire again...\". I feel somewhat helpless and want to withdraw, to observe myself as an outsider, but I find it impossible. One positive point is that you still hold your original intention, it's just that you feel somewhat powerless. You have also noticed the issue of \"seeing the pattern of being trapped in circles\", even to the point of compulsive repetition. To solve this, I have two methods: since compulsive repetition is the result of negative emotions accumulated in the subconscious mind commanding our actions, preventing us from behaving according to our subjective and rational consciousness, we must first address our emotional problems and nurture our inner child. Ask yourself how you feel, how to heal those feelings, and once you have healed them. The second step: I have only heard of a psychological technique called \"dissociation\" in a class, the healthy kind, not the kind associated with mental illness. It involves actively dissociating oneself from negative emotions, and viewing one's own experiences from a higher perspective. By placing oneself at a higher level, because the higher you stand, the further you can see, you can have a more comprehensive view of the problem. By dissociating oneself, you can view things from the perspective of an observer, which is more objective, comprehensive, and long-term. Here, I can see that you have a strong desire to break through the limitations of your thinking. If you can break through the limitations of your thinking, you will live a better life and have a different experience. Maintaining open-mindedness and independent thinking. Open-mindedness refers to the ability to let go of judgments at any time and always maintain curiosity and openness to a diverse world, as well as constantly updating and expanding one's experiences. Maintain a flexible mindset. When the energy of psychological activities is not limited to logical intelligence alone, but can freely experience all emotions and attitudes, a person will not be bound by immature psychological defense mechanisms and can become open and growth-oriented. With this kind of growth, independent thinking becomes possible, so one can not only logically understand and accept the experiences that life provides, but also synthesize and apply them in new social environments and perceptual processes through spontaneity and creativity.",
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The flowers on the strawberry vines on the grass in the forest have withered. The days are gradually getting longer and the nights shorter. The little mole in the house is feeling itchy feet and feels like going outside to move around. For a mole, the destination is always unpredictable. You may not believe it, but once our little mole actually made its way from the underground passage to the city of Chernivtsi and appeared in the town square. At first, the little mole could only see the sky through the gaps between the chairs. This town square is not something you can easily have all to yourself. Is a place like this worth having all to myself? I should go. The little mole is a wanderer. It hides in its own hole. Sometimes it feels like it owns the whole world, but sometimes the little mole has nothing at all. It climbs around in its castle every day, not knowing what the world above looks like. It really wants people to know that it is happy but also lonely... \"People are spinning, but not in place. If you can see this, it means lacking strength. Go find strength.\"",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9833
       },
       {
        "question": "When having different opinions from others and being troubled by their words, how should one maintain a friendship?",
        "description": "Finally, I found someone in my new workplace whom I can talk to. I told her that I don't hand-wash clothes for my husband, and he said that my mother-in-law does it for me. After I said that, she immediately replied, \"Well, you can say that my mother also hand-washes for me.\" I have been feeling conflicted about this. I never thought that I needed to argue back when my husband said this. I think he just wants me to take care of him like his mother does. But this person's words make it seem like my husband is bullying me, and now I feel like I need to argue with him. I can't accept it. I care a lot about my husband, and I always feel like this person is implying that he is not good. But at the same time, I feel like it doesn't really matter. I feel so guilty. I shouldn't have discussed my husband with her. Now everything is ruined. I don't know how to be friends anymore. It's so upsetting when I talk to others about something that I care about, and we have different opinions. I don't know whose side I should take. But I really want to stand up for myself. Plus, I'm afraid of getting caught up in personal relationships. It's difficult to find someone I can talk to, and now I'm being influenced again. I'm always thinking about this matter.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, interpersonal boundaries, empathy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear question asker, I seem to have understood why you say it's so difficult to find someone to talk to. Do you feel burdened when someone presents a different opinion from yours during a conversation? From your conversation with your colleague, she perceived that you wanted to argue back because you think your husband is not good, so she offered her own solution. However, your thoughts are completely different from hers. You can choose to kindly explain your thoughts to her, so she can understand what kind of person you are. Everyone has their own way of thinking, and everyone is different. Even the best relationships can have differences. Express yourself, and she can express herself too. After mutual expression, this matter will be resolved. If you are considering becoming friends, be cautious. If it's just a good coworker relationship, there's no need to overly worry. You and your colleague have just met and aren't at the stage of becoming friends yet. If you have to consider whether to talk about a certain topic, how to talk about it, and whether the two of you will have different opinions, whether she's interfering with me, or if I'm hurting her, then it will naturally be exhausting. Relax and express yourself naturally, and allow others to be different from you. You will gain many good interpersonal relationships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, I have also encountered such problems before. I am a very sensitive person, and every word that others say makes me think too much. Later, I sought help from my friends, and I think I have some experience that can help you. 1. Don't take other people's words too seriously. Everyone has different thoughts. 2. You can communicate with your friend because if she considers you a friend, she will communicate with you well. Interpersonal relationships require compromise. If you want to continue being good friends with her, you can honestly tell her your thoughts. This will help her understand you better and vice versa, benefiting both of you. 3. Actually, you can try to change your way of thinking and mindset. Perhaps your friend's expression was unintentional, maybe she is just someone who speaks her mind. I remember when I was chatting with a close high school classmate, he unintentionally said something that touched my soul and hurt me, so I felt very sad. But later, I thought it over and decided to talk to him honestly because it would benefit both of us to continue being good friends. If I kept it to myself, he wouldn't know what I was thinking, which would also be a lack of respect for our relationship. After gathering up my courage and expressing my thoughts to him, I explained why I was upset. He said that he didn't actually think that way and that he was only expressing his thoughts unintentionally. He didn't mean to hurt me with that sentence, he simply wanted to share his thoughts. He also told me that he has always considered me an important person to him. So, in fact, your friend doesn't have any malicious intentions, she was just expressing her opinions unintentionally. Everyone has different perspectives, and you can communicate with her about it. In conclusion, I hope what I said can truly help you. Do better in the future and contribute to your better development. Finally, I sincerely wish you and your friend and your husband a sincere and happy relationship. So, when you encounter issues, don't feel sad. Remember, there is the \"Answering Hall\" community, and the world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21068
       },
       {
        "question": "14-year-old girl, these days, I feel like I have lost a lot of memory and can't recall things?",
        "description": "I have insomnia at night and have been seeking treatment at the psychiatric department. They prescribed sleeping pills (Suerkang) for me. Last night, after taking the medication, I fell asleep. I remember that at that time my step count was 29,000, which automatically resets to zero at midnight. After taking the sleeping pills, I woke up at half past twelve today. I had set an alarm for 11 o'clock, but I didn't hear it. When I checked my phone, my step count was over 8000. I haven't touched my phone as far as I can recall, except for the alarm. The system shouldn't have any issues, as I have been using the health app for two years. No one in my family has used it either. I have no idea how I got those 8000 steps.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Do not worry or be afraid, let's analyze your situation together. You mentioned that you have insomnia at night and have visited a psychiatric department, where you were prescribed sleeping pills (Suirui Kang). Could you please share your current situation? Besides the sleeping pills, were you prescribed any other medications? Do you know what the side effects of these medications are? Last night, after taking the sleeping pills, I fell asleep. I remember at that time my number of steps was 29,000, but it automatically reset at 12 o'clock. After taking the sleeping pills, I got out of bed at 12:30 today. I set an alarm for 11 o'clock, but I did not hear it. When I looked at my phone, my step count was over 8,000. I did not touch my phone, other than when I set the alarm. The system should not have any issues, as I have been using this exercise app for 2 years. My family members did not touch it either. I do not know how the 8,000 steps came about. It is indeed strange that my phone registered over 8,000 steps while I was sleeping. I can deeply feel your fear and panic. Take a deep breath and relax. Based on your current situation, I suggest informing your family members about this situation and seeking a reevaluation at a local tertiary hospital. Inform the doctor about this situation and follow their treatment plan. The world loves you, and I wish you the best. Stay calm and keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15905
       },
       {
        "question": "Vocational high school senior year, the relationship in the dormitory has always been difficult for me to imagine.",
        "description": "As a senior in vocational high school (where exams are difficult and subjects are not easy), I have long accepted the poor quality of students. However, ever since I changed dorms in my junior year, the dormitory relationships have been unimaginable for me. Some people stay up all night talking and don't wake up in the morning. Telling them off only works temporarily. As someone who is already sensitive, I cannot sleep when there is noise. When I can't take it anymore, I can only remind them. If reminders don't work, I have to argue (or scold). The relationships are definitely strained. There are also conflicts between other roommates and their friends in the dormitory. One roommate likes to brag, and the other roommate, who is also his good friend, got into an argument with him. It's normal for the two of them to not speak to each other. These few people share a common characteristic: selfishness. On weekends, because of the duty problem, there are instant noodle bags all over the floor, and no one takes care of the garbage bags. Why is my dormitory like this? Why do I feel disgusted (literally nauseous) when I see them? Nowadays, I lose hair every day in handfuls. Perhaps a small amount of words cannot explain everything, but ever since I entered this dormitory, I have been on guard against every single person.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, roommates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "LZ, hello~~~ Give the OP a warm hug. From the OP's description, I understand that the OP is facing a difficult dorm roommate relationship. Regarding this, I have a few suggestions that I hope can help the OP. First, from the OP's description, it can be seen that the conflicts in the dorm are not limited to just the OP and the other roommates. There are also conflicts among the other roommates themselves. I think that such relationships not only have a negative impact on the OP but also on the other roommates. Therefore, we may try to communicate together and see if we can establish mutually agreed-upon \"dorm rules,\" so that everyone can \"benefit\" from the rules. This can also increase the likelihood of everyone following the rules. On the other hand, can we try to communicate with the teacher and report the problems in the dorm? If communicating with the roommates doesn't have much effect, we can try to communicate with parents, teachers, or other responsible individuals, expressing the desire to change dorms or find alternative accommodations.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7088
       },
       {
        "question": "A 20-year-old young man is feeling distressed about making money through part-time jobs while being at home due to the pandemic.",
        "description": "Due to the pandemic, I haven't been able to attend university much this year. Many of my friends have gone out to do part-time jobs to earn money, and I have also tried applying to a few places, but none of them were suitable. It feels like after going to university, I still have to rely on my parents' allowance to support myself. I feel so anxious.",
        "keywords": "Growth, work and studies, self-acceptance, and student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Don't be too anxious first. You are not alone in this situation. Many college students have the same mentality. Due to the epidemic, it is difficult to relieve stress in a reasonable way. Coupled with the delay in starting school and worrying about an uncertain future, these feelings of concern are common. This year is not easy for everyone, whether it's studying or working, they have been greatly impacted. Most people feel pressure to make money, and the downward trend of the economy is quite apparent. For now, the best way for you is to improve yourself. Use this time to learn some skills, whether it's in the online world or in real life. You can polish your skills in various areas. If you have time, you can also engage in self-media, write something, and promote your own growth. You can try to earn some part-time income through the internet or other means, and expand your hobbies and interests. When schools resume and everyone can return to normal study life, it won't be too late to look for work at that time. Life is still long, a brief pause doesn't matter too much. Take your time to adjust your own state, and deal with it when the time comes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP: It's better not to do a part-time job if there isn't a suitable one. Forcing yourself to do a job that you don't like or are not good at is no different from wasting time. Why not focus on studying and self-improvement first to continue enhancing your abilities. I can understand your desire for independence and not relying on your parents anymore. However, your parents have raised us for so many years, and although it has been hard for them, they don't expect much from these few years, so there's no need to feel too guilty. What's important is to seize every opportunity to learn now and in the future, have the ability to live independently and take care of your parents. I hope this gives you some enlightenment.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16127
       },
       {
        "question": "Accidentally scratched by a kitten, how to deal with anxiety caused by fear of rabies?",
        "description": "I was accidentally scratched by a kitten on the 5th of last month, just a small scratch mark. I had an adverse reaction after receiving the first vaccination. Since then, I have become extremely afraid of rabies. I looked for ways to relieve stress and it did have some effect, but I still feel very anxious. A month has passed, and the pet kitten that scratched me is still doing well; I have also been completely vaccinated against rabies; I know that it is absolutely impossible for me to have rabies. However, every time I feel a little uncomfortable, I can't help but think of rabies and become extremely anxious. I have been to the hospital several times and done various tests, and they all said I'm fine. The last time I went to the hospital, the doctor said I might have anxiety disorder. I feel slightly better during the day, but when I come home at night, my symptoms become severe. I know that I'm fine, but I still become very anxious. I can only smoke and play on my phone to distract myself, and end up playing until three or four in the morning... This situation has been going on for over a month, and I'm finding it difficult to endure... So I want to ask, what should I do in this situation?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, feelings of anxiety, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the OP. I hope my response can give you some inspiration as we review the OP's experiences and psychological process: Event cause: Scratched by a cat Emotions: Fear, afraid of being infected with rabies Behavior: Got a rabies vaccine---caused adverse reactions---even more afraid of rabies---repeatedly sought medical treatment A \"small scratch\" triggered a great fear in the OP's mind and caused a series of psychological reactions and behaviors. Why does this happen? First, the OP's sense of insecurity was shattered as their previously fragile sense of safety and control collapsed. Second, the OP's coping methods are mostly behaviors that can temporarily alleviate their tension and anxiety, rather than genuinely helpful methods. These behaviors are called \"safety behaviors\" in psychology, which only provide temporary placebo effects, including repeatedly seeing a doctor, smoking, and playing with their phone. Reducing these \"safety behaviors\" can actually help the OP alleviate their anxiety disorder. Why is that? The cause of the OP's condition lies in their mind, not their body. Going to see a doctor reassured the OP, and their mind was at ease for a while, but when the placebo effect wore off, they became anxious again and sought medical help, relying on the reassurance from the previous visit. It seems a bit like an \"addiction\". If the OP doesn't seek medical help, their anxiety will rise to a peak, and when the energy of anxiety is exhausted, it will decrease. If possible, they can try psychological counseling, preferably with a therapist who has received training in cognitive behavioral therapy. I recommend a book called \"The Path of Mindfulness \u2013 Freeing Yourself Little by Little\". Best of luck to you!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP ~ \u203b OP, due to being scratched by a cat, has been left with a psychological shadow and is still afraid, even though they have already received the rabies vaccine. Whenever they feel a little uncomfortable, they associate it with rabies. This situation is caused by excessive psychological tension and anxiety. It is recommended for OP to go to the hospital or research online about scientific knowledge regarding rabies, to understand whether rabies is really as scary as they imagine. Many diseases are not as easy as imagined, and ignorance of knowledge can actually cause more panic. So don't scare yourself, take the initiative to understand it and objectively acquaint yourself with the incubation period, symptoms, and other aspects of rabies. Learn to control your thoughts. Now that you have received the rabies vaccine, from a scientific perspective, your body already has relevant antibodies and you don't need to worry too much about getting rabies. You can exercise more and engage in physical activities in daily life, and try not to be overly anxious! Best wishes!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7316
       },
       {
        "question": "If you feel like you're not being understood by others, what should you do?",
        "description": "How can I make myself feel loved? Hmm, it feels like nobody in the world understands me, only someone similar can understand me.",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your question, although it is only a short sentence, it seems to express a lot of emotions. You long to be understood, long to be loved, and long to feel the warmth of interpersonal relationships and the temperature of the world. However, you don't know what is wrong with yourself. You don't know why you can't feel the love in this world. This makes you feel confused and annoyed. I want to bring you some inspiration from the following perspectives, hoping to help you. [Living in your own world - longing for others to love you according to your own wishes] Do you know what kind of love you want to feel in your heart? For some people, perhaps just a greeting, a cookie, or a cup of warm water will make them feel warm for a long time, and they will be deeply moved. It can be seen that what is truly lacking is not love, but our way of looking at the world. If you always want others to love you in your own way, for example, they should comfort you when you need it the most and accompany you all the time, this demand is demanding. For others, it is difficult to do because they find it hard to know when you need care the most or when you need consistent care. This mindset is actually living in your own world, where you can only see \"me\" and not \"you\". Therefore, everything in this world is based on the will of \"me\". Any action that does not fulfill the desires of \"me\" cannot be called love. Therefore, living in your own world rejects the love of this world. [Unspoken expression - I thought the other person knew what I wanted] Another way to not feel love is to let the other person \"guess, guess, guess\". This is an interesting mode of communication and is common among girls. Some girls have this logic: \"If you really love me, then you should know what I want.\" \"If I tell you what I want, what do you need to do?\" They seem to believe that someone who loves them should be able to read their minds, and that being loved is synonymous with being completely understood. This inefficient cognitive mode has led to problems in many intimate relationships. Similar ways of thinking include: \"If you are really my friend, and we are so similar, you should understand me? You should know what I want, right?\" In fact, fundamentally speaking, these ways of thinking are also manifestations of living in one's own world and psychological immaturity. Of course, from the perspective of interpersonal communication, this type of dialogue can be effectively changed. Speak out your needs and let the other person know your current inner state. This is the effective and truthful way of communication. When you learn to express sincerely, you will find that everyone can understand you. They may not understand everything about you, but they will understand a part of you, which is the real way to seek love. I hope the above reply will inspire you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. The description of \"how to make oneself feel loved, feeling like no one in the world understands me\" sounds very lonely and heart-wrenching! I wonder if you also feel this way? \"Only people who are the same can understand me.\" So, OP, what kind of person are you? What experiences do you have? Or what kind of personality do you have? Do you have different ways of thinking or behaving? Or are there other reasons? Of course, if there are people with similar backgrounds or situations, it may be easier for them to empathize with you. From your description, it is clear that you long for love and understanding. So what is love and understanding? In psychology, there is a saying, \"To see is to love. Love is deep understanding and acceptance.\" \"To see\" means to see your emotions and feelings, and to discover the inner needs hidden behind these emotions. In daily life, however, communication between people tends to focus only on the surface level. For example, we are more accustomed to discussing matters at hand, simple evaluations of right and wrong, and easily overlook the emotions and needs in our hearts. Therefore, effective communication methods suggest not just communicating on the surface level, but rather starting from each other's feelings to achieve good communication results. Therefore, the occurrence of love and understanding is, first and foremost, the ability to understand your feelings and emotions and to judge your true inner needs based on them. Conversely, when you feel that you are not understood by others, you can try to learn to express your feelings and emotions, bravely expressing your needs, rather than waiting for others to understand you. When you do this, you will realize that understanding yourself is actually very difficult. Perhaps in this situation, you cannot even grasp your own emotions and feelings, making it even more difficult to see your true inner needs. Thus, it becomes even more challenging for others to understand you. Regarding how to recognize your own feelings and emotions, how to express them, and your needs, I recommend a useful and interesting psychology book called \"Nonviolent Communication.\" I believe it will be of great help to both your self-understanding and helping others understand you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! After reading your question, even though it was just a short two lines, I could see a person who is full of hope. Despite feeling lonely and desolate at the moment, he never gives up hope and continues to search persistently for his own sanctuary of the soul in this world, a place where he can warm himself up whenever he needs it. Actually, I want to say that each and every one of us is an independent and very special existence in this world, in this vast universe. Each person has a different appearance, personality, and preferences. There are no two identical people in this world, not even among twins. You said that only someone like you can understand you, but the truth is that this someone like you might not even exist in this world. If there are no identical people in this world, does that mean nobody understands us? Of course not! When we hide ourselves in a corner, it is difficult for others to see us. Only by bravely stepping out of that dark corner and into the sunlight can others see us and we can see ourselves too. One day, when you are able to open yourself up, more people will see and understand you. How do we treat others, and how do we treat ourselves? When we position ourselves as receivers, the love we desire may become someone else's charity, but only when we position ourselves as equals, the love we desire becomes mutual. Therefore, we must learn to love others by first learning to love ourselves. Some say that love is the most precious thing in this world, yet others say that love is the easiest thing to obtain in this world. That's because the prerequisite for love is giving. By giving love, we can receive love. It's just like sowing seeds. In spring, we plant the seeds of love and diligently water and fertilize them. When autumn comes, we can harvest the fruits of love. Whether it's being loved by others or loving others, loving oneself is necessary in order to love the world. Wishing you all the best, the world and I love you~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Can only people who have had similar experiences understand you? Understanding a person is indeed difficult, but people who have had similar experiences can feel deeply connected and have a closer psychological distance. It's like having empathy for each other, accepting and recognizing each other psychologically, even if they don't say anything, you feel that they understand you. Because of shared experiences, before having a conversation, there is a psychological mindset of \"I am right and you are also right.\" Therefore, you feel that the other person understands you. Similarly, thinking that others don't understand you is also a psychological mindset of \"I am right and you are wrong\" before the conversation. For example, not understanding the darkness of the night during the day, you are not me, how can you understand my feelings, etc. The distant psychological distance between both parties is caused by this. So how can you feel loved and understood? First of all, believe that you deserve to be loved, and then you can experience others' love for you. The same thing can be perceived differently by different people. For example, parents picking up and dropping off their children to school, some children think that their parents' actions are a manifestation of love for them; some children think that their parents are monitoring them. Why is there such a difference? In psychology, there is a term called \"projection,\" which means that your views on things and objects are projections of your inner self. It means that if you have love in your heart, when you see your parents' actions, you will think that they love you. If you don't have love in your heart, then you will think that your parents' actions are not out of love for you, but only to control you and restrict your freedom, and so on. Therefore, our hearts must be filled with love in order to experience others' love for us. Expressions of love can take various forms, some direct and some indirect. Direct expressions are visible and easy to accept. However, indirect expressions, which may manifest as behaviors that we cannot fully accept, such as harsh criticism, require us to look beyond the surface and recognize that at the core, it is still because of love for the other person. Secondly, we need to learn to love ourselves, to understand ourselves. Someone who loves themselves should learn to take care of themselves, strive to enrich themselves. It is only when you have your own halo that you can attract others' goodwill towards you. Someone who loves themselves also needs to understand themselves. Why am I like this? There are reasons for everything, so accept yourself, forgive yourself, be kinder to yourself, and accept your imperfections. Then strive to become better. I hope this can help you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: If you feel that you are not understood by others, you should consider who is not understanding you. For example, is it everyone or just a few individuals? Among these individuals, what kind of people are they and why don't they understand you? Did you do or say something that caused them to misunderstand you or are they bullying you? Different situations may have different reasons for not being understood. Analyze the problem: 1. How can you feel loved? Well, if you feel like no one in the world understands you, only people who are similar to you can understand you (in general, the reason why you can't feel love is due to emotional isolation. Because your information is limited, I cannot speculate too much. I hope the following analysis can help you a little bit. Emotional isolation means blocking the valves of all emotions, which means nothing can come in from outside and nothing can go out from inside, so you cannot feel the sincerity and flow of emotions. Of course, the biggest advantage is that you won't get hurt. It is a form of self-defense. If you feel like no one in the world understands you, in fact, this is usually understood with anger. I believe that there are people who do not understand others, but I think that there are people who have understood you before, maybe you haven't noticed, or maybe you feel that their understanding is not enough. Yes, people who have been in similar situations will inexplicably sympathize with each other, they will inexplicably connect with each other, that kind of understanding without words, that kind of understanding with just a look is something that others cannot immediately understand. But people who are similar also have disadvantages, such as not being able to see things from a new perspective or being stuck on a certain train of thought together, right? So, we still need fresh ideas, different perspectives to understand things, maybe your understanding will also change gradually? In psychology, we have a therapy called Rational Emotive Therapy. It mainly talks about how if a person has an irrational belief, it will lead to negative emotions, and then bring about negative behaviors. If you have the chance, we can discuss it together. Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you can get out of your predicament soon! If you have any confusion, you can send me a private message!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The various emotions in the world are interconnected but they each have their own uniqueness. You might think you understand, but the other person may feel like you don't. Such scenes are all too common. Even the dearest lovers can misunderstand each other at times. That's why we write all kinds of books, sing different songs, and publish various poetry magazines to express ourselves, or we may seek the company of a few good friends to unwind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6161
       },
       {
        "question": "22-year-old male, has partial gynophobia, what should be done?",
        "description": "I despise girls who only consider their own feelings and casually vent their emotions on others. They completely disregard other people's feelings when they speak or act. I just want to stay far away from girls like that; being around them genuinely makes me feel physically uncomfortable, even to the point of wanting to vomit. It has become a conditioned reflex, as I find girls who look disdainful repulsive. Or maybe it's just because I simply dislike this girl, thinking that she may have been spoiled as a child. Of course, I also have types of girls that I really like: independent, intellectually mature, gentle, kind-hearted, considerate, and attentive to others' feelings. I have no ill intentions towards such girls; I have a good impression of them.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social phobia, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, for people who only consider their own feelings and casually vent their emotions without considering others, it can be very uncomfortable for anyone to interact with them. People with such personalities are not only women, some men also have these traits, although statistically, women may have more of these traits. Let me share a concept called \"stimulus generalization\" with you. Stimulus generalization refers to the phenomenon where stimuli similar to the conditioned stimulus elicit similar conditioned reflexes. For example, if a child has had a painful experience at the dentist, they may fear the dentist, the dental chair, related instruments, and the dentist's white coat. Now, if the child is taken to a hair salon, where there are also chairs and white coats, if the child feels fear in the hair salon, that would be an example of stimulus generalization. The child perceives the similarity between the first and second situations. You may experience physical discomfort and the urge to vomit. Have you experienced any particularly unpleasant events in the past that could explain such a strong reaction? Take a moment to recall and analyze the events, face them rationally, and avoid this stimulus generalization effect. \"No one is perfect\" - you mentioned that you do have types of girls you really like - independent, mature in thinking, gentle, kind, considerate, and mindful of others' feelings. You have a fondness for these types of girls. So, it means you don't have fear towards all women. Therefore, you can pursue relationships with girls who possess these qualities. However, it is important to remember that nobody is perfect, and everyone can have emotional breakdowns. Even someone who is understanding and considerate may unintentionally hurt others when experiencing their own emotional breakdown. It is important for you to understand this and not hold unrealistic expectations, as it can contribute to your intimate relationships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to answer your question. The kind of girl you dislike, who speaks and acts without considering others, is a sign of immaturity. Conversely, the type of personality you like is mature and understands others. This can also reflect your personality traits. In reality, you are also a very mature person, right? So you hope that the type you like is also considerate. In fact, the people we like in real life are based on similarity, so we can appreciate each other. [I really dislike girls who only consider themselves and vent their emotions without considering others' feelings. The words and actions they say are completely disregarding others' feelings.] I understand the feeling in your heart, but this is someone else's personality. Although we do not appreciate it, we should also respect it. This is also a display of cultivation. Why do you dislike this kind of girl so much? There may be two reasons. First, because of some bad impressions in the past, it makes it difficult for you to forget. This kind of dislike is targeted. Second, there is no clear target, no reason, I just don't like her. This situation is called a stereotype. You dislike a certain type of girl because you don't understand them. They must also be liked by others, which shows that they are not too detestable, but rather a prejudice against this type of person. The reason for prejudice is that there is no direct understanding and lack of communication. You dislike her because of her behavior, but you may not necessarily dislike her inner attitude. Disliking a person is largely subjective and arbitrary. If we look objectively, the evaluation will be different. Therefore, try to balance your mindset and slowly accept it, it will be fine. In daily life, just a look from others can trigger our emotional reactions. It may also happen unintentionally, but our thoughts are whether they dislike me? Then we start thinking a lot, and the end result is a bad mood. If you encounter this situation again when taking the subway, just take a look and don't pay it any more attention. There's no need to make too many judgments about people you meet by chance. There is no perfect person in the world, and we ourselves have flaws, it's just that we can't see them clearly. While you dislike others, you will also be disliked by some people. It is because of this that we should respect others even more. So, learn to treat others well. I hope you can live well.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Young man, it's good to stay away from girls you don't like, this is self-protection. As for feeling physically uncomfortable or even nauseous, it is indeed a conditioned reflex. Based on the two experiences you mentioned, you have formed some extreme thoughts and connections, and your reactions have been excessive. The reason why those girls behave that way is because they have tasted or expect to taste some benefits. To put it plainly, those people are also pitiful. Their understanding is flawed and biased, but they are unaware of it and even conceited. This is also due to their own experiences. They are passive recipients as well. They have caused you harm for no reason, and you have become victims. Don't feel disgusted anymore. They will sense your malice, which will be unfavorable to you. Think of them as just pitiful people who have been spoiled, like little girls who haven't grown up. They will pay a heavy price for their bad habits in the future. Will thinking like this bring you psychological balance? Will you feel disdain or sympathy for them, and no longer have adverse reactions towards us? What do you think? If you like girls with good qualities, it means you have a strong sense of morality and good taste. You will be able to get along well with such girls and find them as companions. Isn't that great? When faced with things, try to think positively and respond actively. Let go of those negative thoughts. Even if you still dislike those bad girls, don't deliberately distance yourself from them, overcome it. When you encounter someone you know, nod and say hello. This will show our tolerance and leave a better impression on the good girls, making it easier to interact with them, isn't it? Actually, most of those girls who seem distant and respectful are actually good. They are just protecting themselves from being harassed and hurt by others. Giving them a cold shoulder and looking down on them is just a protective color to scare off those flies. If you can truly understand what's inside their hearts, you will find their cuteness and helplessness. Of course, if there are really obnoxious girls, stay far away from them and ignore them. As long as you know they are also pitiful, it won't affect your mood. That's it. Your experiences are just extremely rare cases. Don't treat them as normal phenomena or even serious problems. That won't benefit you at all. Please consider what I've said, it will help you resolve your emotional burden. Wishing you a pleasant mood.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We all say we extremely dislike the first type of girl and should stay away from her, but I don't think it's like that. Because first of all, we have to admit that each of us has many sides. It's only one aspect of this person that we find annoying, while another aspect is understanding and considerate. We can't negate a person or feel disgusted by them just because they did something that annoyed us. Everyone makes countless mistakes in their life, even great people make many fatal mistakes, let alone us who write comments. So if you approach relationships with this mindset, your interpersonal relationships will also encounter problems!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 21254
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old girl, for seven years, why has she been unable to like her major?",
        "description": "I have a somewhat introverted personality and am thin-skinned or, in other words, somewhat dull. In the past, I couldn't even greet my relatives properly. My parents wanted me to study medicine, but I was more interested in astronomy and art. However, they believed these two fields wouldn't lead to job opportunities. So, out of frustration after the college entrance exam, I applied to all medical universities and was accepted to a second-tier university. At that time, I didn't think I would reach the admission score for a top-tier university, but if I had applied to a few more schools, maybe I could have. And so, I ended up going to medical school. Afterwards, I became less inclined to interact with others, spending my days in bed, glued to my phone, writing articles and chatting with online friends. Over time, I became even more unable to speak in public, even trembling with nerves. I lost interest in my chosen profession and my grades, which used to rank in the top five, dropped to second to last. The more this happened, the more I realized that it was all because I chose a field I didn't like and because of my previous failures (until high school graduation, I always enjoyed taking exams and never feared them. However, before the college entrance exam, I was melancholic for a long time because I had to choose a major that didn't suit my personality). After failing and retaking exams, I began to fear exams and would feel nauseous and sick every time I had one. It has been two years since my graduation, and I still haven't found a job. I opened a store and am preparing for a postgraduate entrance exam. This year, I must find a job, but I have been unable to enjoy or even fear it.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, work pressure, work fatigue.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, after reading the description, I feel really sorry for the author. It takes a great deal of willpower and courage to choose a major that one doesn't like and even work in that industry. Although the author has gone through a lot in this process, it is commendable that they can persist until now. Secondly, the author mentioned that they have been introverted and thin-skinned since childhood, so it seems like they are not good at socializing. After entering college, they dislike interacting with people even more. This is related to the author's lack of social skills and their way of dealing with problems. Because they were forced to choose a major they don't like, they are even more unwilling to communicate with others, which is a form of avoidance. They even get nervous, scared, and tremble when communicating with others, which is a manifestation of social anxiety. Later, because of exam failure, they went from enjoying exams to feeling nauseous and disgusted at the thought of exams. This is a manifestation of anxiety somatization. This reflects the author's problematic behavioral patterns, which they need to pay more attention to. Finally, here are some suggestions for the author: 1. Regarding emotional issues, from the author's description, it can be felt that they experience anxiety and fear, and there may also be some depression. They should pay more attention to this. If they can't adjust on their own, it is recommended that they seek help from a professional psychological counselor. 2. As for the social aspect, not interacting with people for a long time will only make their problems worse, so it is recommended that the author try to express themselves. For example, they can start by having a gathering with their loved ones or friends and express themselves more. Then, gradually try to express themselves in front of others, and slowly bring about change. 3. As for the issue of not liking their major, I'm not sure if the author has planned their future yet. If they are not working in their field of study, are there any better choices for them? Many people aren't able to work in their dream industry. It's more about finding a suitable industry. However, they can still pursue their interests as hobbies to enrich themselves.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "1. Seeing this description, it feels very tragic. This is perhaps the sorrow of most Chinese-style education. Why is that? Both sides are not wrong. Parents want you to study a practical major that can secure your future, while you are interested in pursuing a more romantic major. This is the result of over-indulgent parenting, which makes children unaware of the hardships of life. But even so, as an adult who has now become aware of this issue, it is important to change promptly and become a person with self-awareness and independence.\n\n2. Your parents want you to study medicine, and even though you don't like it, you have applied for all medical majors. But if your parents wanted you to go and fight someone, would you go and fight? This brings up the issue of self. What is self? It means a person having their own thoughts, opinions, and feelings, as well as the ability to independently pursue something. If you honestly reflect, from childhood until now, have you ever accomplished something independently? You mentioned that you couldn't even greet relatives on your own. If you are unable to accomplish such a simple task independently, let alone making choices about your future major, which is just a larger representation of independence. So what you are currently struggling with is not just a question of major A or B, but rather whether or not you can independently do something.\n\n3. There's a saying called \"turning misfortune into good fortune,\" so why not accept the mistake and make the most of it? Since you have already studied medicine and invested the most precious 7 years of your youth, this is an unchangeable fact. Since that's the case, why not give it your all? Is it because you can't independently complete a task that you are using disliking the major as an excuse? This allows you to avoid being independent and diligent, with valid reasons. This is the true reality, even if it sounds harsh. Including all the symptoms, getting a stomach ache before an exam, they are all excuses and shields. Just because you don't like this major, you think you can slack off and shift the responsibility to your parents, and you can even afford to not work for 2 years after graduation.\n\n4. You also mentioned it's been 7 years, and you finally realize it now. I hope you can wake up sooner and not hold grudges for a lifetime. Your parents will grow old eventually, and it's impossible for them to take care of you for a lifetime.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9096
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if it's difficult to persevere in reading and easy to give up halfway?",
        "description": "When reading, I always have difficulty focusing and find it hard to finish a book. I tend to give up halfway through and my interest fluctuates. Overall, I lack enthusiasm. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work, and learning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm not sure what book you are referring to when you say this situation occurs. If you are reading a book that you are very interested in, this situation should not or rarely happen. I read 8 Agatha Christie detective novels in June, but I didn't finish any of the world classics like \"The Plague,\" \"No Longer Human,\" or \"A Thousand Years of Longing.\" When I read books that interest me, I can finish one in a day, but if I'm not interested, it may take me a month to finish one. I guess the reason you asked this question is because you have a low interest in reading, but you also know that you should read more, which creates this conflict and confusion. Here are a few suggestions for you: 1. Find books that you are interested in. Whether it's detective novels, suspense novels, or even fantasy novels, as long as you are reading, it will be beneficial. There's no need to stick to reading only classical works. 2. You can listen to audiobooks or watch adaptations. Some classics are available in audio format on platforms like Himalaya, and some have been adapted into TV shows or movies. If you can't get into a book, you can try listening to it or watching the adaptation to understand the plot, which might spark your interest in the book. 3. It may have to do with age or the right opportunity. For example, \"No Longer Human\" might be hard for someone too young to understand, so maybe just skim through it and start with what interests you. Or maybe you just need the right opportunity to want to read it. 4. If you're talking about not being able to get into your school textbooks, I suggest studying with friends or classmates in groups. I hope this helps you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This shows that those books are not your preferred genre, so there's no need to force yourself to read them and make yourself uncomfortable. If it's a textbook, it means you're not interested in your field of study, so consider switching to a major that you enjoy. I remember a freshman student who ranked first in their class while studying traditional Chinese medicine, but their grades dropped when they had to study Western medicine textbooks because they didn't like them. However, it doesn't matter. Finding your passion is the biggest success.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 12866
       },
       {
        "question": "High school students, brought up by their grandparents since the age of 4, why do they lack empathy towards their parents?",
        "description": "I'm in high school. I was taken care of by my grandparents since I was 4 years old. My family is not happy, but they have never divorced for the sake of me. When my parents argue or reprimand me, or even when they cry, I don't feel ashamed or uncomfortable. When they argue, I just want to laugh, and when they scold me, I am numb. I don't feel anything when my mother cries either. But I have a strong empathy towards others, or things and characters in literature and the like. I can easily cry by recalling or empathizing from different perspectives. However, whenever I am in a family situation, my emotions become scarce, as if I am detached and just watching a play. I don't lack the love of my parents (when they are by themselves). I have no experience of a happy family of three and I don't understand why. Is it a problem with my morality?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Your parents argue and cry, but you show no signs of empathy, which makes you doubt your own morality. I really want to give you a hug and tell you that this is not your fault. Many times, when parents have relationship problems, they are reluctant to completely sever ties because of their children. So they seek compensation for the missing intimacy in their parent-child relationship. However, this compensation is not a healthy manifestation of a relationship. Even if your parents individually do a lot for you, you can still see their problems and power struggles, and you can feel the pain of being caught in the middle and playing a delicate role. This is also why your parents argue with each other and are exceptionally good to you, but you still feel very distant. In a good family relationship, parents love and understand each other, so they don't need to do anything extra for their children. Children naturally learn healthy ways of emotional communication from their parents' interactions. However, in reality, many parents cannot achieve this. On the contrary, they have too many expectations for their children and hope that their unsolvable problems can be solved through their children. This is also a habit they learned from their own parents, and we cannot demand too much from them. I believe you must be a sensitive and delicate child who can empathize with fictional characters in literary works, but cannot feel sad for your mother's tears. Literature and art are very traditional ways for us to express emotions and thoughts. The fact that you can empathize with characters shows that you have both empathy skills and rich emotions. It's just that the arguments within your family make you feel powerless and hurt. You would rather detach yourself from reality and immerse yourself in pitiful and adorable fictional characters than be immersed in these real and dark scenes. You are still a high school student, and at this stage, you don't have the ability to help your parents solve their problems, nor do you have the responsibility to solve their problems for them. I only hope that you can continue to be sincere and not give up on obtaining emotional support from other social supports. Get along well with your grandparents, make friends who can accept you through shared interests or similar personalities, plan for your own future, study hard, work towards financial independence, and minimize the harm caused by your parents. There may be a period of time when you don't want to talk much with your parents, and that's okay. Time is the best remedy, and sometimes distance is too. In the future, you will develop better ways to deal with family conflicts as you grow. The difficulties you're facing now, when you look back, will just be colorful storms in your life. Don't feel discouraged and don't blame yourself! Keep going.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from my point of view, it's not that you lack empathy, but rather that you have become numb to the patterns of interaction between your parents. We often talk about the influence of our upbringing on children, and it does have an impact. However, as we grow up, we can't use our upbringing as an excuse not to make changes. Some people, because of such experiences, vow to change and refuse to enter such a cycle, cherishing the people around them and valuing their relationships with others even more. On the other hand, some people feel powerless to make changes and fall into a vicious cycle, projecting the patterns of their upbringing onto others, viewing the world with hostility, as if the whole world owes them. So, I don't know, how would you define yourself? When you can achieve your ideal university placement and live independently, what kind of attitude do you want to have? You mentioned morality, but if you retaliate against your parents in the same way they treated you, the one who will be left with scars is only yourself. We receive a good education, but the previous generation, with a lack of education, did not know how to think about what they could do to make their own lives a little better. The pressure of life made them unaware of how to handle it, so they vented their frustrations on the closest and safest people - their own family. I believe they have done their best to treat you in the way they think is best. That's why as we grow up, with a higher education and our own will to think, I know that it's difficult to forgive them, but try to understand them. They also need to release their stress and be guided by you towards better ways of living. So, you are important; you give them the courage to face the difficulties of life. I wish you and your family well.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5949
       },
       {
        "question": "Middle school students preparing for the high school entrance exam always seem lively and never stay up late. Don't they feel like typical middle school students?",
        "description": "I may have done well in the first 5 semesters, and my exam scores were particularly good. However, as the mid-term exam of the second half of Grade 9 approached, the class started to get nervous. But I didn't feel nervous, nor did I have the kind of nervousness that teachers and principals talk about, like losing weight or peeling off a layer of skin. I am always mentally and physically energetic in class, and I never stay up late. But my grades are much better than some students who study better than me. I always feel like I haven't put in as much effort as others, but I perform better in exams. I don't want to study like others do, only sleeping for 5 hours a day. But when I hear about their hard work or watch self-discipline videos on Bilibili, I always feel very anxious. Can I maintain a normal lifestyle like I do during the normal days without participating in the mid-term exam?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "As long as you are confident, it's possible. In middle school, there were roughly three types of students in my class. One type performed very well and didn't have to worry about anything, similar to your situation. Another type worked very hard and put in effort every day. The third type didn't think they would pass the exam, so they just enjoyed themselves. I think it's the strong confidence behind you that makes you fearless and very certain. Maybe you haven't realized it, but it's true. Actually, studying like this is quite good. Staying up too late and being exhausted every day can also lead to low classroom efficiency, which is not good. However, if you want to get into a good high school and feel a bit uncertain, you can spend some time reviewing. If you have full confidence, then just maintain your current state. No one has defined what a middle school entrance examinee should be like. It's just that in your environment, most people are burning the midnight oil, feeling anxious, stressed, and so on, while your relaxed state and excellent mental state are different from others, making you feel strange and out of place. There are many reasons why you feel anxious because of them. It may be because everyone looks the same, and you appear strange. It may be because you are worried that after others put in so much effort, they will surpass you. You may be worried if you are overestimating yourself and if you will not do well in the exam... Why are you so relaxed? Besides the reasons mentioned earlier, it might also be because you have a mindset (which most people have): you don't want to be the same as others. While in a group, on the one hand, we try to make ourselves the same as others, but on the other hand, we want to appear different. In reality, regardless of what state you are in, as long as it suits you and your performance doesn't decline or other negative consequences arise, then just continue in that state. The best way is the one that suits you. Finally, I wish you the best of luck in your exams.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 21441
       },
       {
        "question": "At 14 years old, I have been feeling inexplicably unhappy and empty inside recently.",
        "description": "Lately, I can't seem to be happy, and it gets worse when I'm alone in my room. My parents always say, \"Who are you making a face for?\" when they see me not smiling. Sometimes, even small things make me start crying, and my emotions fluctuate greatly. I always feel empty inside. I have engaged in self-harm and have had thoughts of suicide. I feel useless and like I can't do anything right. I really dislike myself right now. Is there something wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Emotion, depressive mood, expressing emotions, emotion regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Children, do you have a lot of question marks? I am glad to meet you, but it saddens me to see your problems here. Fourteen is a time of diversity, where you should be carefree and not be disturbed by external factors. You can try taking a piece of paper and writing down all your worries and thoughts, then tear it up and flush it down the toilet, as a way of releasing them. At fourteen, you are at a stage of confusion, where childhood is behind you but adulthood has not yet arrived. You may feel various discomforts and contradictions in your heart. You may see yourself as an adult, while adults treat you as a child, causing a generation gap in communication with your parents. Slowly, you may not want to talk to your mom and dad, feeling that they don't understand you. But you should know that your parents have also experienced the stage you are currently in, and they may have had similar emotions. You can try awakening their memories and talk about what their own experiences were like at this age. When you encounter unsolvable problems, you can talk to your mom and dad, chat with good friends, or treat yourself to a meal of your favorite food. Whenever I am unhappy or happy, I always reward myself with an ice cream. I hope that what you encounter are not major problems, but just small emotions, a combination of the small conflicts that come with adolescence. Try communicating more with your parents, as many adult issues are resolved through communication. If you also see yourself as an adult, why not have a conversation with your parents as adults? You may have unexpected results, and it can help you overcome these small emotions. I hope you can always be happy and carefree in the future.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 19182
       },
       {
        "question": "Lost focus on preparing for graduate school exams, going crazy searching online to chat with the opposite sex?",
        "description": "I am 26 years old this year and have been graduated from a bachelor's degree for three years. I am currently extremely lost. My original job was an online teacher, but I found this job to be extremely boring and it doesn't allow me to interact with people outside. So, when I met my ex-boyfriend six months ago, I completely got caught up in this relationship. But maybe because I haven't had much contact with people for a long time, I am extremely fragile in this relationship and need to be loved. Of course, he is not a good person, he doesn't even have basic care for me. After the breakup, I decided to take the postgraduate entrance examination...and greatly reduced my course load. Recently, I just got into the studying mode, but I'm not sure if it's because I went on a trip and lost my momentum after coming back. I don't feel like studying every day and I feel confused. I also miss my ex-boyfriend like crazy...and then I go online to chat with the opposite sex as if I had an addiction to the internet...but gradually, I realized that there are many scammers and very few people with whom I can have a good conversation, often it's just a one-day encounter...and I fall into this disappointment, then start looking for online friends to fill the void, and then the cycle of disappointment repeats...and I can't get myself motivated to study...sigh...it's like a death cycle, it feels really uncomfortable...",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, hypochondria, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs and kisses to you. Seeing how your past relationship from six months ago has had a big impact on you, it seems that you are craving for love and care from others and feeling emotionally vulnerable. Even during the intense period of studying for the postgraduate entrance exam, you still find yourself desperately missing him and seeking comfort from others online. It seems like you constantly seek and yearn for the care of others in your relationships, indicating a lack of security and support, which makes you feel very uncomfortable. In addition, as a working student who is preparing for the entrance exam, it is already not easy for you. You need to find your own pace and state of mind, which can help you feel more in control during your exam preparation. This stage is already nearing the end of the entrance exam, and the recent trip may have helped you relax, thus requiring some adjustments. The anxiety of the entrance exam combined with the emotional void has made your current state not good, and you feel very uncomfortable. As you mentioned, this is a cycle wherein you feel anxious about the exam, so you seek distractions through chatting, but then feel disappointed, leading to fretting over your exam performance... So, how can we adjust? Regarding relationships: adjust your mindset and understand that a sense of security and emotional fulfillment does not necessarily need to come from the opposite sex. Your family, friends, and even yourself can provide support and strength. You can try to tap into the resources around you and find your social support system to empower yourself. Regarding the entrance exam: first, find your own rhythm and plan your study time well. Making a good plan can help you quickly get into a state of mind. Additionally, try to adjust your mindset and not place too much weight on the success or failure of the exam. If worst comes to worst, you can always continue working. This might help alleviate your anxiety. I hope this can help you. The world and I love you.",
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            "start": 353,
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            "type": "Others"
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           {
            "start": 366,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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            "start": 457,
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            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP: Hello! Thank you for trusting me and inviting me to answer your questions. Let me start with your emotions. You mentioned that when you encountered your ex, you were completely immersed in that relationship. I'm not quite sure what you mean by being immersed, did you mean that you loved him very deeply and did things for him? Or did you mean something else? So, in that significant emotional experience for you, what was your specific state? I can't imagine it. But you have summarized it by saying that you were extremely vulnerable in that relationship and needed to be cared for. And he wasn't a good partner, not even providing the basic care you needed. Given this information, I can infer that your emotions in intimate relationships may be unstable and that you feel unloved. Is that correct? You attributed this to possibly not having social contact for a long time. I think that may be one aspect, but perhaps you also need to consider your relationships with significant others in your life. Do you have emotionally satisfying relationships, for example, with your parents? Do you have siblings? Do you have friends you can talk to? Before this boyfriend, did you have any other dating experiences? What were your emotional states like in previous relationships? I'm asking all these questions to invite you to try and observe yourself because theoretically, every interpersonal relationship can be a reflection and reenactment of important relationships from early life. Of course, we also need to consider the traumatic experiences you went through in this relationship. I don't know how long it has been since you broke up with your ex, and whether your current state is still a lingering signal from the past trauma or if you are still in a post-traumatic stress state. Therefore, looking further ahead, you mentioned that you are going crazy searching for strangers to chat with online, as if trying to fill a void. Is this void that you feel a lack of a romantic relationship in your immediate surroundings or a lack of feeling loved internally? After the breakup, you decided to test yourself, seemingly intending to fill the void inside with academic development, but a trip caused you to lose your focus on studying. Did something happen during the trip? Or is the void inside you so deep that neither testing yourself nor dating is a true remedy, causing you to feel stuck in a cycle? It seems that the solutions you can think of are either testing yourself or starting a new romantic relationship. Based on the above considerations, I think you need a stable psychological counseling to help you break out of this cycle. Give it a try! I wish you the best of luck! Chen Yiping (a counselor with five years of experience in psychological counseling, having grown and transformed through counseling sessions, I believe I can accompany you to find a new direction in life).",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, author, the time for the postgraduate entrance exam is approaching, and I can feel your inner anxiety and worry. But there are still two to three months left, nearly a hundred days, so hold on! We can win! The topics of heartbreak and the entrance exam have already been discussed by other answerers, so I won't go into detail on that. However, I want to tell you that taking the entrance exam is about improving your abilities and planning for the future. It is something worth striving for. If the direction of the entrance exam aligns with your interests, even better. So believe in your choice and stick to it. What I mainly want to talk about is the change in mood after traveling. I don't know if you've felt this way, but after returning to school after summer vacation, the state of mind is different from when we were attending school. It seems like our hearts are wandering, and we lack motivation to study and need to focus. Traveling is similar to summer vacation. During the journey, we enter a different environment and the things we see bring various impacts. Unlike vacation, the pleasure from traveling is a temporary stimulation, and there may be a sense of emptiness after a long vacation. But after the trip ends, most of the emotions are nostalgia for happiness and fear of returning to the routine. Therefore, it is not wise to travel before a major exam. The brain takes in a large amount of information unrelated to daily life all at once and is in an excited state, wanting to communicate, wander around, and absorb new things. I believe this is why you can't get into the right state and are looking for people to chat with everywhere. Talking to strangers is a novel and interesting experience. Online communication breaks the limitations of time and space, and this stimulation and novelty are similar to traveling. Please remember that you still have an exam to take. If it is what you truly want, value it and then make an effort to adjust your state of mind. You need to switch your brain from an excited mode to a normal mode, instead of giving it more intense stimulation, making it even more excited. Compared to chatting, browsing fragmented information, and scrolling through social media, reading professional books, studying English, and solving political questions may seem less interesting and even boring. However, for the sake of the future and for the better version of yourself, you still need to control yourself and turn your focus to these less interesting things. The brain's state doesn't switch like a computer with just a click. So you need to establish a consistent routine, set a dedicated study time for yourself, during which you can't do anything else except study or daydream, and you can't use your phone either. If your entrance exam includes mathematics, solving math problems is a great way to concentrate. If not, solving multiple-choice questions in some professional courses can also be helpful, or solving multiple-choice questions in political science for the entrance exam. Solve twenty questions first before moving on to other studying, and you will be able to get into the studying zone faster. Try to avoid overly stimulating your brain and making it overly excited. Minimize the use of your phone and social media apps. If that's difficult, then set aside a specific time for stimulation, such as from 8:00 PM to 9:00 PM, as your entertainment time. Actually, my advice is all conventional advice, and there are more and better studying tips from fellow users on Zhihu. However, advice and tips are abstract things, the key is in ourselves. Taking the entrance exam or pursuing a professional certification requires us to make plans, improve our abilities, and put in long-term efforts to achieve our goals. It requires strong self-motivation. If we choose to take the exam or pursue a certification out of the desire to become a better version of ourselves to make others regret or envy us, instead of doing it for our own sake and to create a better future for ourselves, then my advice is to temporarily give it up and carefully consider what kind of future we truly want. Good luck and keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: I have observed your confusion. Sometimes, the more we seek external validation, the more we feel lacking in care. However, it is brave of you to express your concerns and seek help, as it can help you better understand yourself, identify your deeper needs, and make adjustments. Now, I would like to share my observations, which may help you see your behavior from different perspectives. 1. Our relationships with others are actually projections of our relationship with ourselves. Interpersonal relationships serve as mirrors where we can see our needs. I have noticed that after encountering your ex, you became completely immersed in that relationship. But perhaps it's because I haven't had much interaction with people for a long time, I feel extremely vulnerable in this relationship and in need of care. From this relationship, we can see your deeper need for love and the desire to establish connections with others. Since this need of yours is not being fulfilled, you tirelessly pursue it, only to end up empty-handed. Since our relationships with others are projections of our relationship with ourselves, it means there is an inner child within us who longs to be loved. This child needs to be seen, taken care of, and healed. 2. Nurturing our inner child's growth. Once we have straightened out our relationship with ourselves, our relationships with others will also improve. So, if you want to have the energy to study for your postgraduate entrance exam, perhaps you need to first work on the relationship with yourself, understand the needs of your inner child, and learn to fulfill them. I have noticed that you desperately miss your ex-boyfriend... and then go online and chat with strangers crazily, as if you have developed an addiction... but gradually, you realize that there are many scammers and it is difficult to find someone with whom you can have a true connection; these encounters often end up being fleeting. This leads to disappointment, and then you start the cycle of seeking online friends to fill the void, only to be disappointed again... Have you noticed that you have been constantly seeking external validation? However, the most uncontrollable factors are the external environment and other people. So why not seek within ourselves? We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves. Now that we are adults, when others cannot fulfill our needs, let's not forget that we can fulfill our own needs. So, learn to love your inner child, meet her needs, protect her, and nurture her. This way, she will grow and heal her wounds. 3. Learn to associate freely. The lack of care and our experiences of personal growth are directly related. So, perhaps you can freely associate and reflect on how your need for love came about, review your experiences of personal growth, and reflect. Only then will you better understand yourself, get to know yourself, and understand the underlying causes of your personality. This will solve half of the problem.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Confused, with unclear goals, unable to find meaning. In fact, the state you describe is not bad, but you can't enjoy your work or life properly, which seems like a feeling of extreme self-isolation. It seems like you want to connect with people, but still feel empty and lonely inside. Actually, this is a common problem for modern people. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. You are now 26 years old, graduated from college three years ago, and now you are extremely confused. (Today's college education is different from what it used to be, it seems a bit like graduating from junior high school back then. Confusion, panic, not knowing the future direction. Should you aim for postgraduate studies or work, and what is the purpose of pursuing postgraduate studies? Your confusion is completely understandable, you just lack direction.) 2. Your original job was an online teacher, but you found this job to be extremely boring and unable to connect with the outside world. So when you met your ex half a year ago, you became completely immersed in that relationship. However, maybe because you haven't had much contact with people for a long time, you became extremely vulnerable in this relationship and needed to be cared for. Of course, he is not a decent person, he doesn't even show basic care for you. (Online work seems to be a trend nowadays. The rise of online platforms has given many people opportunities and reduced communication costs, but at the same time, it has also reduced the opportunities for people to meet, communicate, and play offline. Many emotions are also engaged online, so what is left for the parties involved to understand? We are living human beings, unable to have contact with others, it sounds cruel. Love, without mutual concern, admiration, and attraction, what is left?) 3. After the breakup, you decided to prepare for postgraduate studies...but you drastically reduced your courses. You had just entered a good state, but after you went on a trip, you lost that state. Every day, you don't want to study, you feel lost. (Traveling helps people relax, of course, if you relax too much, it becomes slackness. That comfortable state is only because it is not the norm, so once you relax, it's hard to get back on track. But this is also a skill we need to master, which is how to adjust our state in two different environments. When you come back, you need to gather yourself and continue the journey, right?) 4. You still desperately miss your ex-boyfriend...and you go online to chat with strangers like crazy, as if you had internet addiction... (You appear to be crazily missing your ex-boyfriend, but in fact, it is inner restlessness and anxiety, not really missing him. What you lack is not a boyfriend, but someone to accompany you, care for you, be concerned about you, and have emotional interactions with you. So when you chat with strangers online, you simply think that this can reduce your sense of loneliness and relieve your emotions, but in fact, it is not the case.) 5. But gradually, you realize that there are many scammers, and very few people you can connect with, they are usually just passing acquaintances... this makes you feel disappointed, and then you seek online friends to fill the void, and then the cycle of disappointment repeats... and you cannot bring yourself to study... sigh... it feels like a cycle of death, very uncomfortable... (Yes, you have also discovered that there are dishonest people out there. It's not scary if they have a purpose, as long as they are straightforward with you, then you can be cautious and prevent being deceived. Dear, your chosen approach is not correct, please believe that there are good people out there. Think about it, finding a needle in the ocean, the probability is definitely small. You can seek help from professional counselors who can understand your situation and help release the repression and emotions in your heart.) A cycle of death, although it's called \"death,\" as long as there is a cycle, we have the opportunity to break the bad cycle and replace it with a good one. Closing words: I wish you happiness and joy! May you overcome your confusion and open your heart soon! If you have any confusion, feel free to message me!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it has been 3 years since I graduated from college, and I am extremely lost now. I work as an online teacher, but I find this job particularly boring, and I have no way to interact with people outside. When I met my ex, maybe I was too in need of love and care, so I got involved with him even though I knew he wasn't a good person. After the break-up, I planned to take the postgraduate entrance exam, but after coming back from traveling, I lost my motivation and felt unmotivated, not wanting to do anything. When I try to talk to someone, they usually turn out to be temporary acquaintances, which disappoints me, but I can't stop trying and get caught in a loop. From your description, it seems that you really want to establish connections with the outside world. However, you have chosen to work and make friends online. Even though it seems possible to establish connections online, you still feel like something is missing. You want to be cared for; so, what specific behaviors or actions do you hope for when it comes to being cared for? Daily online greetings? Or something else? Can these ways of care be fulfilled online? You are not motivated to study for the entrance exam, and before traveling, you were in the right mindset, but after traveling, you couldn't find the motivation to study. What was your motivation for wanting to take the entrance exam? What does the entrance exam mean to you? For example, imagine a person who wants to eat spaghetti, but sits in a Guilin rice noodle shop, eating rice noodles, complaining about what's wrong with it, but still continues to eat the next day. At this point, someone might wonder, why doesn't he just go eat spaghetti? This person can provide many reasons, and each person may be different, such as \"the spaghetti restaurant is too far away\", \"the spaghetti takes too long to wait\", \"the spaghetti is a bit expensive\", and so on. However, if you analyze it carefully, the reasons above don't hold up. \"The spaghetti restaurant is too far away\" -- delivery can be sent downstairs. \"The spaghetti takes too long to wait\" -- you can call or use a software platform to pre-order. \"The spaghetti is a bit expensive\" -- it's not more expensive than seafood rice noodles in Guilin. So, does this person really want to eat spaghetti? I hope this answer can inspire you! Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This is not your fault, it's a problem with China's education system. For so many years, schools have been treated like factories, and teachers like engineers, mass producing standardized products in different batches. Let me talk about my eldest son. In those years, he didn't take the college entrance exam because he had to prove that his mother was his mother. He went out to make a living. My eldest son went to Suzhou this year and became a courier for SF Express. Of course, he had to work hard. With a simple life, he earns over 6000 RMB per month, enough to support himself without any problem. He also takes care of some living expenses for his younger sister who is still in university. He can even do some game programming in his spare time, earning some extra income. He is optimistic and doing well in everything. Actually, in terms of many conditions, he may not be as good as you, but he is a man who grew up in a warm and safe family. So he can go out and explore, grow, and be himself with confidence. It is said that programming also requires logical thinking skills, and his math was among the top in Guangzhou at that time. He didn't take the college entrance exam due to policy constraints. He has been searching for himself in Shanghai and Suzhou. So, I think it's better to find yourself and be a genuinely healthy person. Do what you should do, what you want to do, and what you can do. I wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. After briefly looking at your current situation, you have been working for three years but have lost interest in your job, so you have decided to take the postgraduate entrance exam. However, during the preparation process, you occasionally have expectations for love. After a trip, you find it difficult to focus on studying. First of all, I want to say that interest in something does not come out of thin air. Often, when we have had successful experiences in a certain field, we will be more inclined to enjoy doing things in that field. The same goes for work. However, since you have already chosen to take the postgraduate entrance exam, it is naturally the most important thing for you to prepare well at the moment. Secondly, the mentality during the entrance exam preparation is indeed a very demanding issue. Coincidentally, I am also preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam this year, so I think I can understand your feelings. As a fellow postgraduate entrance exam candidate, I have to say that your expectations for love have nothing to do with your current goals. Temporarily forget about your mentality towards the entrance exam. I think I have adjusted well. My progress is not the fastest, and my foundation is not the best, but I know what I should be doing at the moment. Do you know? Thirdly, about your loss of focus after a trip, I can clearly tell you that even during the postgraduate entrance exam review process, if I only go out and play with friends for one afternoon in a week, I will also lose focus when I come back. Therefore, you need to understand your own control over yourself and try to reduce the time spent going out to play. Of course, moderate relaxation is necessary. Good luck with your postgraduate entrance exam preparation!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, my first reaction is that you may have developed a narcissistic injury due to a failed relationship, and as a result, you have been compensating for this injury by engaging in self-centered behavior. In reality, this is just a coping mechanism, and it usually takes some time for healing. I'm not sure what your ultimate goal is, so I suggest taking some time to reflect on how to feel comfortable in the present moment. This could involve getting back together with your ex, succeeding in your academic pursuits, finding a satisfying job, or anything else that brings you comfort. Once you have determined your objective, you can develop a specific plan to achieve it and try to put it into practice. It may lead to improvement. If you find it difficult to think independently, you can seek professional counseling online or in your local area to engage in a comprehensive exploration of personal growth, covering cognitive aspects and the influence of your family of origin.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9209
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I doubt other people's affirmation and praise?",
        "description": "Today I painted with watercolors for the first time. I was a little excited. While I was painting, my colleague said it looked good. I asked, \"Really?\" When I said that, my colleague said I didn't believe her. I replied, \"It's not that I don't believe you, I just don't believe in myself.\"",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Everyone longs to be sincerely praised, but very few are willing to do so. In fact, it is not strange at all. Many people are actually very afraid of praising others. In childhood, if one receives negative evaluations for a long time, it greatly lowers their self-esteem, undermines their confidence, and might even destroy it. Faced with compliments, there is a reflexive response of \"not deserving.\" They believe they are not worthy of praise. The resistance to compliments may not be about the compliments themselves, but rather, it might trigger memories of past frustrating experiences. This is a defense mechanism with rationalized denial, defending against narcissistic satisfaction when appreciated by denying others' appreciation. The reason for defending against narcissistic satisfaction is to protect oneself from experiencing the pain of narcissistic frustration. Most people are used to speaking negative and hurtful words to themselves and feel that they are constantly living behind a mask. In order to break free from the curse of \"I'm not good enough\" in their minds, some people study hard but still can't escape its grip. The most important thing is to know oneself, to see one's own strengths and advantages, as well as to recognize one's shortcomings and flaws. Build on strengths, improve weaknesses, build confidence, and happily accept others' compliments. Sincere compliments are a good medicine that can help people progress and grow. With self-awareness, one can clearly identify and disregard insincere compliments while accepting genuine ones. Second, pretend to be confident. The strategy of \"pretending to be confident\" can help you at least have the opportunity to get many jobs and opportunities, instead of shutting them out from the beginning. Once you have a certain opportunity, the \"imposter syndrome\" will strive to complete it, and in fact, the results are usually much better than they expected. Sometimes pretending turns into reality. Third, try to believe. Start by learning to believe, believing that others' compliments are true, and believing that you deserve them. The next time someone compliments you, at least respond with \"thank you.\" Over time, you will become more accustomed to compliments and then say, \"I am beautiful,\" \"I work hard, and I deserve these achievements.\" Believe in yourself, you deserve better, you deserve to have it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 585
       },
       {
        "question": "Frontline employees have a high level of hostility towards logistics personnel. How to ignore others' judgment?",
        "description": "The company I work for is a manufacturing enterprise. The production line runs 24 hours a day, with only 8 hours of rest on Sundays, and very few holidays. The frontline staff have a heavy workload, many regulations to follow, and low benefits. There is a high turnover rate among employees. However, the logistics staff work 8-hour days, have weekends off, and work in an office. Because we often have to issue many requirements to the production workshop, this has created a strong animosity from the frontline staff towards us. Whether it's at work or in daily life, they are always ready to confront us. I am not a confident person to begin with, although I am usually cheerful and love sharing moments on social media. But because I have been working in this environment for a long time, I have become even less confident and don't like sharing on social media anymore because I feel that no matter what I say, those employees will criticize me behind my back. So, I hope to become invisible and keep a low profile. Office colleagues face the same challenges, but I may be more concerned about others' opinions. How can I resolve these emotions?",
        "keywords": "Occupation, workplace relationships, work pressure.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Today is the third time I am answering questions about work. In fact, our lives mostly revolve around work. Sometimes, we spend more time at work than at home, so the pressures of work and life are often intertwined, leading to anxiety, irritability, and even spreading to our families. Anyway, let's move on to the specific issue you mentioned. The company you work for is a production-oriented enterprise, with frontline employees working 24 hours a day, facing heavy workloads and poor working conditions, while management personnel work an 8-hour shift, enjoying better working conditions and benefits, including weekends off, and so on. As you described, different job positions come with different responsibilities and benefits, and this is a normal phenomenon. It is a matter of the company's policies and regulations. As long as you fulfill your duties within the scope of your job responsibilities in accordance with the company's rules, there is nothing wrong with it. The relationship between managers and those being managed will always be a contradictory one, and it can never be completely resolved. The best we can do is constantly adjusting and maintaining a temporary balance. In another sense, you may be in a logistical management position (based on the requirements issued by the company), where managers represent the interests of the owners, while those being managed represent the interests of the employees. It is normal to have grievances about the company's management. New management concepts are being developed to weaken the role of management and strengthen the role of service, with the premise being sound systems, high-quality staff, and advanced scientific and technological means. So, if you are currently involved in establishing a scientifically reasonable management system, you shouldn't have any psychological burdens. Moreover, that is your job responsibility. If you cannot even fulfill your own job, then I believe you would become a burden to the company. A good manager will not disregard the company's interests to be a \"people pleaser\". Don't aspire to be such a \"people pleaser\", and shouldn't become one. These are some recommendations from my years of experience in human resources work. I hope it can be helpful to you. Keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16346
       },
       {
        "question": "Lack of independence, what should I do if I'm afraid of standing on my own?",
        "description": "I hope to have someone accompany me in everything I do, afraid of making mistakes on my own, and afraid of being alone. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone has unique characteristics. Some people are naturally talented and independent, while others are more supportive and cooperative. Don't criticize yourself, allow yourself to be who you truly are. Just like Zhu Yuanzhang and Zhuge Liang, both are remarkable in their own ways. However, you can also try doing things that showcase your individuality. Afterward, reflect on whether you enjoy it or not. Perhaps this is a hidden potential within you. If you try something and realize you don't like it or even make mistakes, that's okay. Life is not about avoiding mistakes; the key is to experience unfamiliar things and understand how they make you feel. Understanding what you do and don't like is more valuable than focusing on right or wrong. Don't fixate on not doing something perfectly; instead, focus on discovering what you truly enjoy and exploring new experiences. Whether you are naturally talented or cooperative, these are just processes that help you discover and understand yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, you realize that as you grow older, you should gradually become more independent, but you worry about doing things alone. Hugs to you~ Maybe you hope to become independent all at once and handle everything by yourself, but as you may have experienced, it seems a bit difficult. How about taking it slowly? Allow yourself to gradually become independent, allow yourself to grow slowly. Start with a small thing that is closest to you and slowly free yourself from relying on others, try to do it yourself. This is just my suggestion, hope it can help you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17433
       },
       {
        "question": "What should one do if they feel they are worthless because they have no goals in life?",
        "description": "After turning thirty, I have neither a career nor my own small family. I am still on the \"pursuit of dreams\" path. But in fact, I don't really have any dreams and I don't know what I can do or what I enjoy doing. I have thought about working hard or just marrying someone randomly to fulfill a duty, but I am not willing to do that. I am afraid of regretting it, and I worry that having a child would hurt them. I try to work hard, but I don't have a clear direction. I am considering taking a professional examination, but it always feels too difficult, and I have no self-discipline. I feel like my life is in chaos. Is there any hope for someone like me?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, laziness, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, sending you a warm hug (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You feel like you have no goals, no direction, and lack self-discipline. (2) You want to know if there is still hope for yourself. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: (1) As long as you have not given up on facing life, life will not give up on you! Although everything may seem overwhelming right now, if you can try to maintain a calm mindset and tackle things one by one in order of priority, you may find that things are not as difficult as you think. (2) Regarding age and family, according to Erikson's stages of psychosocial development, it seems that individuals entering society without a partner tend to have lower satisfaction with society. And at the age of 30, it seems to be a time for developing a sense of care, so it is normal to desire a family at this time. I suggest you learn to expand your social circle and meet more potential people. (3) As for life goals, you can actually write down one thing you most want to do at the moment and the kind of person you want to become in the future. Daily records may help you find direction and understand the significance of doing these things in the present! #The world and I love you, wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13288
       },
       {
        "question": "How to cope with the cold period in a romantic relationship when the feelings of passion fade away?",
        "description": "Long-distance relationship, haven't seen each other for over two months. The passion is fading, we don't chat as much anymore, feeling low and unmotivated. Every time he calls, I'm at a loss for words, not knowing what to say. I used to have a high need for personal space, I had a lot of self-interests, but it feels like he has taken up a lot of my time. I don't know what to do, I envy those who don't need to contact each other every day but still long for someone far away. I don't like intense and dramatic love, I prefer a more comfortable companionship. Now, I don't know if it's because of me or the emotions he brings, I feel conflicted, I have doubts. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Love, Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. In a long-distance relationship, even though your boyfriend contacts you every day, you no longer have common topics to discuss. The excitement of the honeymoon phase has faded, and you are only left with low moods. You are unsure if it is caused by this person or this relationship. From your description, I see a contradiction: on one hand, you say you enjoy having your own space, having many interests, and being able to fulfill yourself without the need for constant intimacy and clinginess in a relationship. On the other hand, you feel disappointed because you haven't seen each other for two months in this long-distance relationship and there are no topics to talk about. Behind every contradiction, there is always some truth. It's possible that you have an avoidant attachment style, which means you don't inherently crave love, understanding, and acceptance, and you don't want highly intense emotional relationships. But deep down, you actually need these things more than anyone else. You need your self-worth to be recognized, someone to share the meaning of life with, and someone to understand and accept you. You say you enjoy missing someone from a distance because it allows you to project your imagination onto the other person, making you constantly feel loved and safe. In reality, you really need attention and understanding, but maybe you didn't receive much of it when you were young. So you use the approach of hiding in your own world to protect your heart which was hurt and disappointed in the past. Any emotional relationship will transition from passion to calmness. However, after the excitement fades, some relationships evolve into true love - caring for each other, nurturing each other, and supporting each other. Such relationships may seem calm, but they are stable and gentle. Your contradiction may come from your experiences of growth. What you need to explore yourself is what you truly need - is it what you described? Is the most authentic need really as you said? Once you find that authentic need, you can possibly find a relationship that fulfills your needs. Otherwise, you will find that even though you are in a relationship that seems to fulfill your described needs, you are not happy deep down. I hope you can love yourself and find someone who loves you the right way.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, good evening! Love has different stages and there are countless ways to get along. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. What matters is the attitude towards the relationship and the effort you are willing to put into it. People who have been through it all should understand the confusion you are feeling now; it's a fairly normal situation. \"Being in a long-distance relationship, it's been over two months since we last saw each other. The passion seems to be fading, we don't chat as much anymore, and I feel low and unexcited.\" The phrase \"long-distance relationship\" often comes with a lot of preconceived notions. It seems like there should always be a constant sense of excitement and freshness, but when distance becomes the norm, your relationship dynamic tends to stabilize, and it's only natural for the constant excitement to fade away. \"Whenever he calls me, I'm at a loss for words and don't know what to say.\" This feeling is indeed uncomfortable, almost like being out of control. It makes you feel detached from the relationship, and this seemingly detached awakeness makes us question whether we should withdraw from this relationship, questioning whether we need or are satisfied with this kind of relationship. Many social commentaries on love have mentioned that love is about being comfortable enough to have meaningless conversations, being willing to speak and listen. I strongly agree with this. However, it doesn't mean we have to have those kinds of conversations all the time. Based on your description, you have your own lifestyle and independence, and it's inevitable to have thoughts about returning to your original personal life track when the love transitions from passion to a more ordinary state. This is completely normal. With the limited information provided, it's difficult to analyze further. If you are truly troubled by this, I suggest discussing your thoughts with your boyfriend. View this issue as a necessary stage in the development of your relationship. Facing problems that arise from personal characteristics and lifestyle preferences together will help us better understand each other and foster sincerity. I hope this helps you. The sky is blue, and with you, life can be beautiful! World, I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1732
       },
       {
        "question": "Online dating turns into reality, but always feeling like my girlfriend is deceiving me?",
        "description": "We met online, and in less than two months, we became a couple. Before that, we had some arguments, mostly over trivial matters. But recently, I realized that maybe there's something wrong with me. I've been suspecting that she's lying to me. For example, one night when we were on the phone and it was almost 11:30, she suddenly received a message. I asked who it was, and she said it was from a WeChat subscription account. She even showed me a screenshot. But when I looked at the timestamp, it was from 7:30 in the evening. I felt really disappointed. It's not just this incident, I feel like I'm living in a world of deception every day. It's causing me a lot of stress recently, and I can't sleep at night. It's very painful. Can you help me find some answers?",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, sense of security, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Because we got to know each other through the internet, many of the real information is not very confirmed, especially some recent small things that are not very reliable, which leads us to suspect whether the other person is hiding a lot of things from us. Firstly, let's not scare ourselves. Some things require solid evidence, not just our speculation. It is indeed a bit late to receive messages at 11:30 pm, but it does not exclude the possibility that the other person also has their own circle of friends. It's just that the screenshot time and her explanation to us are inconsistent, which makes us doubt a bit. Therefore, if there is a similar situation next time, we can jokingly ask the other person if she is a bit tired and the pictures she sent don't add up, and see what explanation she will give us. Secondly, some things can be discussed openly. Since the questioner has his own suspicions, there should be some basis for it, but some suspicions may not be true. Therefore, we can ask the other person for verification, tell them about our concerns, and see if they can give us a reasonable answer. Also, we need to examine whether we have hidden things from each other. If we have similar situations, or if we have told some well-intentioned lies in order to gain the other person's favor, then we can find a time to clarify it, so as not to have too many misunderstandings. Finally, we need to have some confidence in each other. The questioner and her are moving forward together, and they have also experienced some small setbacks. Since they are together now, they can discuss their concerns and future plans together. Don't leave too many mysteries for each other, and communicate with each other when there are problems. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Talking about a relationship, but unable to trust wholeheartedly, this feeling is really unpleasant. However, many times, the reason why we are deceived is often because we ourselves cannot accept the truth. This does not mean that your girlfriend must be hiding something serious from you, but if a person still cares about the other person's feelings or is not willing to confront conflicts, then it is possible for them to hide things when they find that the other person is easily suspicious or entangled. However, even if the girlfriend is completely genuine, can the questioner really accept it? Or, even if the girlfriend hasn't done anything to hurt the questioner, can she accept a relationship without personal secrets? Because from the description, it is possible that the questioner and his girlfriend have different needs for personal space. To be honest, this kind of relationship can easily create pressure for both parties, and it may not necessarily be a problem that the questioner is faced with alone. Happy relationships are often not forced, therefore, it is important to evaluate the compatibility of your shared life comprehensively and then determine the future direction, perhaps it will be better for both parties. As for the question of whether the questioner is overly sensitive to deception, it cannot be completely judged based solely on the existing information. If necessary, it is recommended to seek more professional help to analyze it systematically. Hope this helps the questioner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2382
       },
       {
        "question": "How to choose a suitable marriage partner in order to avoid facing societal pressures when reaching the age of 30?",
        "description": "Currently 29 years old, I don't want to wait until after 30 to face social pressure, so how can I choose a suitable marriage partner for myself?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, blind date",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, sending you warm hugs~ You have reached a good age for marriage, and you may face some pressure from parents, relatives, and friends regarding getting married. For yourself, when it comes to finding a suitable spouse, you can think about what your ideal partner would be like. Based on your description of your ideal partner, you can ask your parents, relatives, or friends to continue introducing you to potential partners through blind dates, which is an efficient way to meet people of the opposite sex. If you don't like the blind date approach, you can also expand your social circle and get to know the opposite sex through various methods. For example, you can attend more dinner gatherings with friends after work, where you may meet other people. If you feel a connection or attraction, you can try to get to know them better. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20879
       },
       {
        "question": "Entering high school, I have become disinterested in studying and intentionally feigning sickness to go home, but I ended up getting scolded. I feel very helpless.",
        "description": "Just started my first year of high school and I feel that this school is not suitable for me. The school is very strict and tight when it comes to schedule, but the teachers only verbally enforce it and there is no actual management. I feel like I'm just going through the motions every day and I'm afraid I won't be able to get into a good university. I want to transfer schools but I don't know how to tell my parents. I got sick and had a fever for two nights without a blanket, so I went home. But when I got home, my mom scolded me for enjoying myself too much and said that I should be at school. I feel helpless and have thoughts of suicide, but I'm afraid of hurting myself or leaving home and receiving more criticism from my parents.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You just started high school and feel that the school is not good and not suitable for you because you feel that the teachers are not implementing effective management and are just slacking off every day, so you feel despair, right? ****** You are dissatisfied with the teachers not implementing effective management, so you hope that the school can have a good school atmosphere and the teachers can play a real role in management. You actually do not want to be influenced by this kind of environment, afraid of slacking off every day and not being able to get into college. This makes you feel disgusted with the current school and want to escape and leave. I see your inner pain and struggle, fighting against the efforts and the environment. The root of this pain lies in the fact that you both want to pursue a better learning environment and the possibility of future development. However, you feel powerless to fight against the environment and have to have conflicts within yourself, which affects your behavior and emotions. Sickness intensifies your disgust and avoidance towards the school, but you cannot get understanding, care, and acceptance from your family, feeling very disappointed and helpless, and wanting to express your struggle and helplessness through self-harm and suicide. You are dissatisfied with the school environment and think that it is not good, but you unconsciously give up your own pursuit and become a member of slacking off, confirming your negative impression and evaluation of the school. ****** The environment does indeed have a great impact on us. A good environment can help us progress more smoothly and achieve our goals. A bad environment can easily become an obstacle and make things less smooth. However, the development of anything is a result of both internal and external factors. In addition to having a good environment, what is more important is whether our internal motivation and strength are strong enough to support us moving forward. Only the internal driving force can help us overcome resistance and continue to strive. Many successful people are able to overcome adverse environments, hone and break through from them, find opportunities, and ultimately overcome the obstacles of a harsh environment, growing into more powerful individuals. So when you complain about the school not being good and you are not satisfied with the environment around you, you should first ask yourself if you really want to study well and go to a good college. Do you place your hopes of realizing your dreams on yourself or on the external world? There is a theory called \"locus of control\" that explains the attributions of success or failure that individuals often make. Internal locus of control attributes success to their own internal control power, so they tend to believe in their own abilities and are willing to take responsibility and actively seek solutions to problems, striving for their goals. External locus of control attributes success to external factors and relies on external forces to drive things forward, with the success or failure of things determined by external factors, finding excuses for failures and giving up their own power and efforts. This tendency of attributional explanatory style can influence our perception of the external world and ourselves, and therefore affect our actions and confidence. ****** I am not quite clear about the situation in your school. Apart from the poor management of schedule, how are other aspects? For example, the faculty strength, teaching quality, classmates' learning situation, etc., are there really no advantages to be found? Can you see their good side? How can they influence you? You should also ask yourself these questions: How is your current learning situation? What talents and strengths do you have? What can you learn from and gain in this school? Have you set clear goals for yourself? Have you ever believed in your own abilities? Is it the school that makes you slack off, or did you give up on yourself early on? Can you find a way to overcome difficulties and study well? For example, find teachers willing to help you and classmates willing to study together. If you transfer schools, can you guarantee that other schools will fully meet your requirements and that you will be able to motivate yourself to study well? Environmental factors should not be an excuse for avoiding difficulties, and changing the environment cannot completely solve the problem, because the root of the problem lies within yourself - you have both aspirations and desires, but also find excuses to avoid and give up. Even if the environment changes, you still cannot control the environment and fulfill your potential. If the pursuit of future dreams cannot rely on your own power to grasp and achieve, it can only be wishful thinking. Reality shows that many times, the environment is difficult to change. So, do you want to succumb to the environment, be defeated by the environment, or do you want to make an effort to adapt to the environment, change your thinking, adjust your cognition and behavior, and strive to overcome it and break free from this environment? This is a process of training and growth. Disgust, complaints, self-harm, and suicide are not effective forms of positive resistance, but rather a form of escape and giving up. Learn to accept the environment, adapt to the environment, find strength within yourself, and grow in a harsh environment, regain control over your own life, and that is the true form of resistance, allowing you to come closer to your dreams. Think carefully about your dreams and your life, find the source of your own strength, and face the challenges of the environment with confidence. Keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6933
       },
       {
        "question": "Did I get depression because I hardly left the house this year? Should I go to the hospital?",
        "description": "Because of emotional and work pressures this year, I have hardly left the house at all. I have no interest in anything, and I often have thoughts of self-harm and suicide. However, I can't let go of my family, and I feel like there is no hope or future. Nothing goes smoothly, even though I know what I should do, I just can't do it. I sit and stare into space all day and can't sleep at night. I've had insomnia for a whole year and can only sleep when it's already daylight.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader. Low mood, decreased interest, insomnia, and feelings of hopelessness and lack of future are indeed manifestations of depressive emotions. Due to the dual pressures of work and relationships, you have been living under the shadow of depression for a year, which is truly not easy. My heart goes out to you. You mentioned that you haven't left the house for a year and that being in a confined environment without contact with the outside world can worsen your state of mind. So I suggest you try to go out, take a walk, or communicate with family and friends. It will be helpful for your current state. Additionally, you mentioned that you can't see any hope or future because you haven't planned for the future and haven't taken action. You are in the stage of imagination. When you set some goals for yourself and go from thinking to acting, your perception will change. Furthermore, you know what you should do, but you don't want to take action and spend your days daydreaming. In response to this situation, I recommend that you set small daily goals for yourself, and it's best to start with something that is not too difficult to achieve, which will give you more motivation. During this process, you can also explore your interests and hobbies. As for sleep problems, it's best to ensure a regular sleep schedule and try breathing exercises while lying in bed to help you fall asleep. Lastly, your emotional issues are quite severe at the moment. If you can't regulate them on your own, I suggest seeking assistance from a professional psychological counselor for systematic adjustment. I hope this can help you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Feeling the dual pressure and frustration from work and relationships can indeed be tough, even leading to a year of not feeling the desire to go out. I truly sympathize with you! Some of your symptoms resemble depression, such as loss of interest, thoughts of suicide, lack of hope, and a year-long insomnia. It is strongly recommended that you go to the psychiatric department of a relevant hospital for an examination. [Friendly reminder: The purpose of the examination is to diagnose and intervene as soon as possible, so do not fear the results. Many depression patients are eventually able to overcome it, as depression is not an incurable disease. It may affect you for a period of time, but it will not define your whole life. The label will eventually be torn off, and you will conquer it!] In addition to necessary medication, you can also seek assistance from a professional psychological counselor to address your mental issues. There are various therapeutic approaches in psychological counseling, and one that is particularly effective for depression is mindfulness cognitive therapy. This therapy includes many relaxation exercises which, if practiced consistently, can reduce negative emotions such as depression and anxiety, easing mental tension. However, it also depends on whether this therapy is suitable for you. \u203bRecommended book: \"Mindfulness in Plain English.\" Apart from mindfulness therapy, there is cognitive therapy that specifically targets irrational beliefs and negative thinking patterns. This therapy can help you eliminate pessimistic and negative beliefs, establishing positive and optimistic ones. Narrative therapy, on the other hand, focuses more on your positive experiences rather than negative ones, helping you discover useful resources and uncover the strength within you that you may have overlooked. Collaborating with a therapist with this orientation often brings about a unique feeling, allowing you to see yourself from a different perspective. Regardless of the therapy approach, it is most important that it is suitable for you! Choose a psychological counselor whose orientation matches your needs and go through this difficult time together! Furthermore, scientific research has proven that regular exercise can also have an antidepressant effect. The support and presence of family and friends are your most important resources and pillars. As long as you don't give up, there is hope. Wishing for your rebirth.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, nice to meet you. Firstly, based on your description, it does seem that you have a tendency towards depression, but I would recommend going to a professional institution for a thorough examination to determine whether it is clinical depression. You can choose to visit a reputable hospital with a psychology department for the examination. Secondly, from what you mentioned, although I don't know the specific experiences you've been through, encountering difficulties in both life and relationships can indeed be a significant blow. In such circumstances, it is not easy for you to actively seek help, but it shows that you still have the courage to face the problems in real life. You are just lacking the correct methods and strategies at the moment. This is a typical manifestation of many people with depression, as prolonged stress and negative emotions make us always think of the worst possible outcomes when contemplating any matters. This leads us to become increasingly confused and hesitant to take action and make decisions, which ultimately traps us in a cycle of negative emotions. Lastly, the feeling of not seeing any hope is largely due to being impacted by certain real-life events, leaving you unsure of how to confront them. At the same time, it indicates a possible lack of psychological abilities and resilience. Therefore, by improving your psychological abilities and resilience, you can address this issue. However, the prerequisite for solving any psychological problems is often to address the current emotional issues first, as emotions greatly affect our motivation for action and personal growth. I hope you can overcome this predicament soon through professional means.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Is there depression? This needs to be diagnosed by a doctor. Depression is accompanied by various physical symptoms and negative thoughts, and it is a complex process. If you feel emotionally down and have long-term insomnia, it is recommended to see a doctor to see if your depressive emotions have generalized. Additionally, this year has been stressful for everyone due to the pandemic, and both work and relationships have not been going smoothly. Many people are going through difficult times and are being affected by the objective circumstances, which can inevitably lead to various social dysfunctions and instability. It can be seen that your overall situation is not good right now, whether it is emotional, interpersonal relationships, or work-related factors. Seeking professional help is necessary. For example, you can seek psychological counseling or seek support through helplines to relieve your stress and adjust your state of mind. In your daily life, you can also spend more time with friends and family, and gradually regain a sense of life with their company. After a period of adjustment, your state will slowly improve, and you will no longer have the current symptoms.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The fast pace of modern society leads to excessive psychological stress. If you don't like going out to socialize, you can try using online platforms for socializing. Chat with online friends and share your life. Utilizing your time at home, you can self-study psychology or learn skills like baking, which can be therapeutic for your mind and soul. Simply obtaining a diagnosis from a hospital cannot truly solve your problems. Is that the outcome you are hoping for, my friend?\n",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 8852
       },
       {
        "question": "I am a student and I feel a bit tired. I want to walk alone. What should I do?",
        "description": "I don't like the way my parents educate me, and I want to run away from home, but I'm afraid that they will worry.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and communication between parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the main topic a hug. Give communication a try and see if it can be effective. However, it still depends on the specific situation of oneself and one's family to consider whether to come. Maybe some families are not suitable. If possible, everyone should sit down and have a calm and peaceful talk. Express your true thoughts and points of discomfort. Come up with strategies together and make adjustments according to the situation. If communication is difficult, give yourself some time regularly to recharge and replenish energy. Just like a phone, when the battery is low, it will be charged. Take a break for yourself, whether it's a few hours or a whole day, it's up to you. Spend time alone or with friends. Put aside all the worries and don't dwell on the unpleasant places. Just do things you enjoy in your own way. Emotions need regular cleansing. Keeping them inside all the time is not a solution. Give yourself a break and clear the unpleasant emotions. Although your language is limited, I can feel that you must love your parents. That's why, even though you don't like it and want to leave, you still worry about them. Parents' love can be quite burdensome. Sometimes, because they haven't done well in certain aspects themselves, they hope their children won't be the same, so they have strict demands in that area; sometimes, because they have gone through the same experience and found it effective, they pass it on to you; sometimes, it's because there's too much information in this society, and it seems that many educational methods are good and suitable... Therefore, for various reasons, it has become the current situation. In any case, I hope that you can be less tired in the future. Take good care of your emotions. Give yourself some free time without being disturbed by anything. Hugs to you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21989
       },
       {
        "question": "Graduating from vocational high school, I don't know what I can do in the future, where should I go from here?",
        "description": "Second and third-tier cities, graduated from vocational high school, over 18 years old, a girl. Just finished the college entrance examination, it feels like participating in a ceremony, others are participants, while I am a bystander. My grades were never that good, and maybe I can spend some money to attend a vocational college, but it doesn't seem to have much meaning. I want to learn something, but just looking at books gives me a headache. Now I wander around every day, eat and then sleep. I don't know what I can do in the future!",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, and student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Just finished the college entrance examination (gaokao), it feels like participating in a ritual - yes, this ritual signifies that you have become an adult, and you are entering society to strive for your own life. Whether you are a participant or an onlooker, you must continue to move forward with the current of life. You don't know what you can do in the future, which makes you feel lost. This is a normal reaction. Many people at your age have just grown up and started entering society. It is a stage of seeking self-identity. In the process of seeking self-identity, we will have many questions about ourselves and the world, and we also hope to explore further and understand questions like \"who am I,\" \"what do I want to do,\" \"where should I go,\" etc. We hope to find our own life goals, self-worth, and social role positioning. Therefore, it is natural to have questions and confusion. In fact, when you ask the question \"where to go,\" it indicates that you have started to think about these life questions. This is the first step in exploring life, and it is also a stage that requires time and patience to face. If you don't know what to do, you can start by focusing on yourself and getting to know yourself better. Think about it, what are your interests and hobbies? What are you good at? What abilities do you have? What resources do you have? What kind of interpersonal relationships do you have? The most important thing is to figure out what kind of person you want to become. These are all things that you need to think about carefully. These questions about the meaning of life may be difficult to understand all at once. It takes time to slowly sort out and ponder, and they may change with time and different stages of life. But for now, you can imagine what kind of person you want to be in five years, what kind of life you want to live, what you want to achieve. And then, trace back from five years in the future and think about what you should do in order to achieve your goals. You feel that a vocational college is not meaningful, and you get a headache when reading books. Maybe it is because there is nothing in it that attracts you or matches your interests, so you have no motivation to invest in it. If you can sincerely think about the questions raised earlier and clarify your goals and direction, then studying at a vocational college or reading books will be a way and method to achieve your goals, and you will find the motivation to invest in it. It is normal to feel tired and reluctant to study after going through intense studying and the gaokao. At this time, you might as well relax, eat and sleep well, and don't rush to think too much about the future and life matters. Give yourself some time to rest and recharge. When you are fully energized, then think about the questions mentioned above. Maybe you will have different ideas and gain the motivation to move forward. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16474
       },
       {
        "question": "My boyfriend said he would introduce me to his parents, but he broke his promise. I feel like he doesn't really like me.",
        "description": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two months. He has already met my parents. Last week, he said he wanted to take me to his house to meet his parents. But on the day, he didn't say anything to me. I was confused, so I asked him. He said it was too late and let's just forget about it. Usually, he doesn't really take the initiative to ask me out unless I'm sick and he comes to visit me. It's actually me who initiates plans several times. Honestly, I only think about him and want to see and get close to him because I like him. But why do I feel like he doesn't really like me that much? Last time when I got sick, he took me to the hospital, helped me with registration, getting medicine, and carrying things for me. I feel like he feels more guilty than liking me. Basically, he calls me every day after work, but he just doesn't ask me out. Sometimes when I say I miss him, he comes to my place after work.",
        "keywords": "Love, Love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when it comes to the question of whether the other person \"likes\" you in an intimate relationship, it is actually clearer to ask the person involved rather than inquiring with a third party. Based on your limited description, I will analyze the situation briefly for you. \"I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two months now, and he has already met my parents. Last week, he said he wanted to take me to his home to meet his parents. But on the day, he didn't say anything to me, and I was confused, so I asked him. He said it was too late and forget it.\" Two months is not long but not short either, and if there is a suitable opportunity to meet each other's parents, it's possible. However, for a two-month-old relationship (it is unknown whether your relationship started from being strangers to partners or from friends to partners), it is still in the early stages of getting to know each other and being in the passionate phase of romance. Based on your description, this relationship seems unstable and uncertain. The reason he gave you for canceling the plan, \"it's too late, forget it,\" is obviously not a convincing and truthful reason, which is why it triggered a series of suspicions for you. Therefore, let's start from here and suggest that you have an open and honest conversation with your partner, asking him the real reason for suggesting to introduce you to his parents and then changing the plan. Was it just a casual remark or did something happen that made him change his view of the relationship, thus thinking that it is inappropriate to bring you to meet his parents? If you can hear the true reason from him, perhaps you will know the extent of his \"liking\" for you. If he continues to dodge the question, then you should try to stay calm and not focus too much attention on the intimate relationship. Instead, prioritize your studies, work, career, self-improvement, or finding your own interests and hobbies. \"Usually, it seems like he doesn't initiate plans unless I am sick, then he will come to see me. But I have initiated plans several times. To be honest, I only think about him and want to meet and be close to him because I like him. However, why do I feel that he doesn't really like me? Last time when I was sick and went to the hospital, he took me there, helped me register, get medicine, and carry things. I feel like he feels guilty toward me more than he likes me. Basically, he calls me every day after work but never asks me out. Sometimes when I say I miss him, he comes to see me after work.\" It is evident that your partner is not particularly proactive in the relationship. If it is due to his personality, then it can be understood. But if he is not proactive specifically with you, then you need to communicate with him, express your needs, and hope that he will take the initiative to make plans more frequently and create opportunities to strengthen the relationship, rather than making you feel the burden of sustaining the relationship alone. As for the feeling of \"guilt rather than liking\" that you mentioned, perhaps it is the root cause of his lack of initiation. The story behind this can only be resolved through the joint efforts of both parties in the intimate relationship. For a passionate relationship that has lasted for two months, there haven't been any significant setbacks. The lack of communication between both parties, as seen from your description, has resulted in a lack of confidence and feelings of insecurity on your part, as the other person lacks the same level of investment and effort in the relationship. I suggest you communicate more with your partner, focusing on specific events and emotions. For example, instead of blaming him with statements like \"Why did you change your mind about introducing me to your parents? Why don't you initiate plans with me lately? Do you not like me anymore?\", express your feelings and ask questions like, \"When you mentioned before about introducing me to your parents and then changed your mind, I felt hurt and upset. Did something happen? Or is there something I'm not doing well enough?\" Depending on the situation, regardless of the outcome of the communication, I suggest that you freely express your love and not worry about whether the other person likes you or not. Everyone has different standards and ways of showing affection, but the true sign of a good intimate relationship is the mutual growth and development of both parties. I wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner, nice to meet you. \"My boyfriend said he was willing to meet my parents but broke his promise, making me feel like he doesn't like me enough.\" Your confusion actually indicates that there are some problems in the way you and your boyfriend interact. From your description, it seems like your boyfriend is relatively introverted and not very proactive in relationships. He doesn't open up his feelings easily, which is different from your expectations. So the comfortable way of getting along for him may not meet your needs. Not meeting your parents seems to have triggered something. There are many possibilities for this incident, such as unexpected issues or realizing it was too late to interrupt, etc. However, you directly concluded that he doesn't like you enough based on your previous emotional experiences. [Ask about the true reason for the cancellation and try to establish a suitable way of communication and interaction.] Humans are creatures that tend to imagine. Everyone may have a different interpretation. It shows how rich our imagination can be. Instead of being overly concerned about meeting the parents, it's better to directly ask him why he canceled the plan last minute. By reaching a conclusion, you can also stop negative thoughts from spreading in your mind. You feel that your boyfriend is not proactive in the relationship, which you see as a sign of not liking you enough. The things he did when you were sick seemed more like a repentance for the relationship in your eyes. Some people tend to be more introverted in dealing with emotions, and two months is not a long time. Perhaps he hasn't realized that he needs to adjust his approach towards you. This requires you to communicate with him, express your thoughts, feelings, and requirements seriously, understand the true meaning behind his actions, and make an effort to establish a way of getting along that suits both of you. Best wishes, a mushroom that hopes for a gentle world and gives herself time to grow freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. When it comes to relationships, there will always be various conflicts and dilemmas, and this is normal. It is clear that you really like your boyfriend. You actively express your feelings and longing for him, and are willing to meet his parents to stabilize this relationship. You need to clarify your boyfriend's situation. He tends to be passive and won't take the initiative, but he won't refuse your requests and is willing to satisfy you. It seems that there is less of a romantic feeling and more of a feeling of an old married couple. You can pay attention to whether he is usually more reserved and does not express his emotions too actively. If he is, then you can take more initiative to warm up the relationship. Or maybe he can't bring you to meet his parents due to some issues, and if you can feel his sincerity, you can give him time to adjust. I believe that day will come. Time is the best way to get to know someone, and for uncertain feelings, there is no rush to have a result. Why not give each other time to deepen understanding and deepen the relationship? First, strengthen yourself, so even if there are any problems with the other person, you still have yourself as a support system. This companionship is firm and warm. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, seeing your description, it seems like you care a lot about your boyfriend. Although your boyfriend hasn't explicitly expressed his dislike for you, his lack of clear affection can make you feel unsettled. Have you ever voiced your thoughts about your boyfriend's feelings and meeting your parents? It might be helpful to understand how your boyfriend typically shows care and love towards people, and if this is also how he expresses his affection. When it comes to the issue of feeling like he doesn't like you, are you seeking a definite answer or are there other needs that can be explored? I am a counseling assistant, and these are some personal thoughts I hope can be a little helpful to you. Lastly, I want to share a message from Teacher Chen: \"Having lived in the city for a long time, I am still nostalgic for the tranquility and serenity of the countryside. I enjoy the peaceful time of reading, as well as the exhilarating feeling of sweating on the sports field and the satisfaction of completing a full marathon of over 40 kilometers. However, it is only after traveling to dozens of countries across Asia and Europe, experiencing various exotic cultures, that I realized my home is deep within my soul, the most beautiful and warm sanctuary. Through the exploration of the past and present, and witnessing the diverse realities of life, I have come to understand that one's inner self is the source of motivation in life and the harbor of tranquility.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4366
       },
       {
        "question": "Just starting on the job, struggling with the balance between effort and comfort, what should I do?",
        "description": "This is a position that I have worked hard to obtain, but I am a sensitive, insecure, and introverted person with social anxiety. Sometimes I think about sacrificing my entertainment and working until late at night. After all, being a teacher is a particularly demanding job, with little personal time and even after work, it's still work. Especially since I am new to the job and not skilled yet, I have to teach several classes. I have to work hard, read books, participate in competitions, write articles, and improve myself. But my personality determines that I will experience immense pain because I cannot communicate and interact smoothly with people, and I have a poor ability to withstand pressure. I easily break down over trivial matters, and when I encounter setbacks in the process of striving, I have to grit my teeth and move forward. I'm worried that I will eventually develop serious psychological problems. Now, if someone criticizes me for not writing lesson plans well, I lose control of my emotions. On my way home, when I see vehicles and rivers, I also have random thoughts. Sometimes I see friends who have an easy job and have nothing to do after work. They play games, watch dramas, and go shopping. I feel very envious and think that life is short, why don't I try to make myself more relaxed? Just being a decent person without doing anything morally wrong, doing my basic work well, without making efforts to gain any professional titles, being able to eat and dress warmly, and occasionally having a cup of milk tea would be very happy. It's okay to always stay in my comfort zone and keep avoiding challenges. Working hard is too painful, while comfortable life makes me feel guilty. I also fear that I will regret not striving when I was young. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Since you're afraid of future regrets, it's better to work a little harder now. Of course, striving and comfort are not necessarily opposites. For example, in a seven-day week, allowing yourself to work hard for five days and have two days of comfort would be a reasonable arrangement. Having aspirations always leads to fulfillment, and without effort, don't expect to achieve results; growth might also be slower.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner! First of all, congratulations on becoming a member of the people's teacher team. In recent years, the country has started to tilt towards education in its policies, expanding the teaching workforce, integrating educational resources, and renovating and rebuilding school buildings. All of these actions indicate the importance the country places on the education cause. A strong youth makes a strong nation, and the country needs talents. The revival of the great Chinese nation requires talents, and education is an important thread in talent cultivation. This thread is pulled by the honorable people's teachers. People's teachers bear such a heavy responsibility, so they not only need to have abundant knowledge and strong professional abilities, but more importantly, they need a healthy mindset. Because as a teacher, you not only impart knowledge to the children, but also give them a healthy and noble soul! The majority of your description is still concerned about the future, which has caused you to feel anxious. This will affect your normal work and life. I will offer you some suggestions from the following aspects: First, as you have just passed the selection process and have entered a regular position, your development path will be different from that of contract teachers. Therefore, you must quickly develop your own career plan and consider the conditions that you did not possess before. This will serve as a reference for your future development. Secondly, you should find ways to quickly relieve your negative emotional symptoms. Self-study relaxation training or deep meditation can quickly alleviate feelings of fear and anxiety. These training methods are not restricted by location and require your persistence in practice to become proficient. Thirdly, you should pay attention to striking a balance between work and leisure, and give yourself appropriate stress relief. You are putting too much pressure on yourself right now, and some of it seems unnecessary. Therefore, you need to learn to unwind and separate your life from work. These are personal suggestions I have for you, and I hope they can be helpful. Thank you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. The job of a teacher is indeed very busy. Although there are relatively more holidays, most of the holiday time is spent studying. I can understand your current dilemma and pain when you worked so hard to get into this position, only to find that you are not experiencing any joy in your work and not receiving the economic rewards that match your efforts. Here's some encouraging words and a virtual hug for you! In fact, behind every job, there are different struggles. You may envy friends who can go shopping and watch dramas after work, but that is because they endure great interpersonal and economic pressures in the workplace. The difference between the workplace and teaching is that the work of people in the workplace is unstable, and once the company encounters problems, they may face the danger of unemployment. Although teachers have busy work, it is very stable, and their salaries will increase with their seniority. Social status is also highly respected. Everything has its pros and cons. Adjust your mindset, focus on teaching itself, and don't overthink. Believe that you can find your sense of value in the process of teaching! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11790
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling despair about life, thinking that all efforts are useless and things won't get better in the future?",
        "description": "Feel like all the previous efforts were in vain, and can't see any hope for the future. Feel like it will only get harder in the future.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotion regulation, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From your description, it seems like you feel there is no hope for the future and that your past efforts have not been effective. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Everyone will encounter difficulties and setbacks in their lives. It is normal to feel that your efforts are hopeless and that the future seems bleak. It is within your right to have a negative outlook on life, but your family and friends encourage you to be positive because having a positive mindset can lead to greater happiness. 2. Sometimes, our emotions in response to an event are not determined by the event itself, but by our own cognition. In other words, how we perceive an event determines its impact on us. If you attribute a failed exam to being dumb, and see it as an unchangeable and uncontrollable factor, it is unlikely that you will perform well on the next exam. However, if you attribute the failure to not working hard enough, and see it as something within your control, you have a better chance of doing better next time. Thus, OP, you can try adopting a more positive attribution mindset when reflecting on past issues, and you may discover something different.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18290
       },
       {
        "question": "How to break out of one's comfort zone to face challenging situations, which often involve avoiding difficulties?",
        "description": "I like a comfortable life, reading books, drinking tea, and avoiding difficult and challenging things. I always want to procrastinate and find it difficult to change. I also can't stand it when people around me behave this way, why is that?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I would like to analyze this issue seriously with you. You mentioned that you enjoy comfort and avoid difficulties, but deep down inside, you seem to not accept comfort and want to change. This creates an internal conflict. If there is no internal conflict, you can simply enjoy this comfortable life without any problem. But you have noticed that not only for yourself, you also project this requirement onto others: to step out of the comfort zone! This tension of confrontation is causing you distress. Why? What should you do? I want to explain the reason from Jung's theory of \"individuation.\" Simply put, \"individuation\" means becoming a complete, unique self, possessing a sense of sacredness while still maintaining human attributes. In the process of pursuing individuation, we will go through seven different stages, namely protection, differentiation, consolidation, integration, guidance, and transcendence. Each stage can also be subdivided into these seven different levels of functionality. The spiral development of human life takes place in these seven stages and levels. I don't know your age, but I think you must be a person with some life experience because you have a desire for personal growth. Based on your description, my initial judgment is that you are in the protection period. On the one hand, you need this comfortable life to nurture and protect you, but on the other hand, you lack strength in action. During the protection period, our energy is not sufficient, and our sense of self is relatively weak. What we need is to accumulate and replenish our energy, and draw nourishment from the external world. So reading books, drinking tea, and other seemingly useless pastimes are good ways for you to recharge yourself. However, you want to experience more possibilities because you know that you cannot always stay in the protection period. Your life needs to develop, your self needs to be perfected, and that is what we call the drive of \"individuation\" pushing and inspiring you. You have a vague awareness of this unconscious energy but cannot explain the reasons clearly, which creates a conflicting tension. You are anxious but currently powerless. In this regard, Daoism says to follow the way of nature, let everything take its natural course. The Diamond Sutra also says, \"All conditioned things are impermanent - work out your own salvation with diligence.\" This tells us that we should not only focus on \"how to do\" but also maintain an attitude of doing \"without doing\" and being calm in our hearts. Therefore, when we currently lack the ability to step out of the comfort zone and cope with difficulties, we don't need to force ourselves to do so. When you have recharged yourself and have sufficient inner strength, you will naturally have the energy to explore and change. What we need to do is to go along with this development and nurture ourselves in the present moment. The same goes for dealing with other people. Everyone is at different stages of life's development. Some people are deeply influenced by childhood trauma and stay in the protection period for a long time, while others have had a relatively smooth life experience, with broad interests and fast stage development, leading to great achievements. So if we look at it from this perspective, we can be more tolerant and understanding of each person's behavior, without making subjective value judgments or projections. I hope my analysis above can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12463
       },
       {
        "question": "My roommate always likes to buy the same things as me. It makes me feel uncomfortable.",
        "description": "My roommate is a good roommate, but she always likes to buy the same things as other people. When she sees a classmate carrying a nice bag, she buys the same style but in a different color. If she thinks a friend's shoes look good, she'll say she wants to buy the same pair. Last time, she used one of my cosmetics and then immediately bought the same one. It's not that her behavior is wrong, it's just that I feel a bit uncomfortable inside. I don't really like using the same things as others, especially when I had it first. But I guess there's nothing wrong with her behavior, it's just me feeling a bit unsettled.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts and disputes, roommates and classmates, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "1. Firstly, I think your roommate is very interesting. Generally speaking, most people's mentality is similar to yours, trying to avoid buying the same things as others. Everyone wants to be unique, so I think your feelings are very genuine and normal.\n2. Occasionally, my close friends and I also buy the same things, which represents a close relationship and mutual confidence.\n3. As for your roommate's mindset, we cannot make assumptions without grounds. It might be better to find the right moment to ask her and deepen your understanding. Perhaps you can accept the reasons behind her behavior and become good friends, or maybe you still can't accept it, but you can expand your own tolerance. It is important to respect those who are different from us, and our personality will become more mature.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3883
       },
       {
        "question": "Posting on social media but not chatting with me, why is it that only one person takes the initiative in love?",
        "description": "For a long time, he ignored my love. I thought he was busy, but he still had time to play games and post on social media, without considering talking to me.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! You have a boyfriend who is willing to share his life on social media and play games with others, but he doesn't want to chat or spend time with you. You feel exhausted from taking the initiative and giving love, yet you can't seem to leave him. It's a bittersweet feeling, isn't it? Is it really like this? A genuine and wonderful relationship should be about emotional connection and nourishment between two people. Both parties should be willing to give and interact on an equal level. However, it seems that your situation is not like that. But the more important question than why you are the one taking the initiative in this relationship is: If you are unhappy in the relationship, why haven't you left? What needs does this relationship still satisfy for you? There are many reasons why you are the only one making an effort, but are there any reasons on your part? Do you enjoy the feeling of longing for something you can't have? Ask yourself these questions honestly and figure out the real reasons behind the current state of your relationship. If your values don't align or if your partner simply doesn't like your type, then leave this relationship and focus on improving yourself and finding someone who is willing to interact and accompany you. If the issue lies in your communication patterns, such as having too high emotional expectations or being sensitive and controlling due to a lack of love, then learn to adjust your communication style and have an open conversation with your boyfriend. If you are aware that your partner doesn't love you but still refuse to leave the relationship, it indicates that this relationship may still fulfill some of your needs. These needs may be subtle and exist in your subconscious, so you need to explore them and be aware of them in order to make adjustments. Otherwise, these subconscious aspects will continue to be factors in your future relationships. May you love yourself and find someone who truly loves you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. It's clear that he doesn't respect you when he has time but ignores you. People should be equal, like a balance. When someone takes advantage of your liking for them and belittles you or ignores you, it shows a lack of respect. Some things can be expressed gently, but he chose to hurt you in this way. It's not about knowing oneself, but about rejecting this lack of respect and showing him with your actions that he's nothing special and no one is superior to anyone else. Girls should be brave and not let others harm them just because they like them. Through this incident, you have also come to realize his character. It's not that there are no good options elsewhere, but why would a swan like me choose a toad. You should be happy, respect yourself, and wait for him to apologize before forgiving him. You can take care of yourself, change your mindset, go to different places and make new friends. You can also write down your strengths and weaknesses in a notebook, affirm yourself, so that when others underestimate or disrespect you, you can remain composed and elegant. Everyone has the potential to be outstanding, the key is whether you choose to be. Thank you and keep going, my friend!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you said that for a long time, that person has been indifferent to you. You thought he was busy, but he has time to play games and post on social media, yet he never thought about chatting with you. So you feel confused and can't understand why there's only one person taking the initiative in love. If you want to hear the truth, I'll be straightforward. First, a relationship should not be one-sided. Whether it's love or marriage, it's about mutual affection and commitment. There shouldn't be only one person making all the effort. When a relationship becomes one-sided, the person taking the initiative needs to seriously reflect on whether this relationship is right for them. Second, self-awareness is important. An ancient saying goes, \"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.\" As the person in love, you must have a deep understanding of yourself and the other person. You need to carefully weigh and consider what kind of outcome will result from being together. This evaluation needs to be realistic, or else bitterness will be the result. Third, an intimate relationship is the best place for personal growth. It allows two people to be vulnerable with each other, both tormenting and uplifting each other. If the love doesn't have sweetness and affection, how will you spend decades of life together? Therefore, my suggestion is that if you are certain that the other person is truly indifferent to you and always makes excuses for being too busy, it's better to let go. There are plenty of other options out there. There's no need to hang yourself on a crooked tree in a vast world.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19919
       },
       {
        "question": "Why would an 18-year-old boy want to feel loved?",
        "description": "If liking someone is a result of psychological emptiness, then I would start liking someone just because they show a little care towards me. How can I make myself feel loved? My relationship with my family is not good, and I don't have many friends.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings very well. It is normal to want to feel loved. Maslow proposed a hierarchy of needs theory, from low to high, including physiological needs (such as water and food), safety needs, belongingness needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. When your lower-level needs are met, you naturally strive for higher-level needs. I think you may currently be at the stage of esteem and love needs. At this stage, you desire respect and love, which includes both receiving love and giving love to others. I believe that in order to receive love from others, you must first love others. In interpersonal relationships, there is a principle of reciprocity. We enjoy being appreciated and liked by others, and we are more likely to feel close to those who like us. The same applies to others. So, I believe that as long as you are able to love and respect others, as well as understand them, you will be more likely to be liked and respected by others. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20093
       },
       {
        "question": "A 22-year-old girl, who thinks about death every day and feels like cutting her wrists when she sees them.",
        "description": "Every day I feel very tired, can't sleep well, have frequent dreams, and often use the iron wire on the mask to cut my wrists.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-harm.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Hugs to you. From your message, I can sense that you are not feeling well. You feel tired, have difficulty sleeping, and resort to self-harm in order to find a sense of existence. I feel really sorry for you. In this situation, I suggest you try to find something to distract your attention, focus on the present moment, and focus on what you are currently doing. Here are a few suggestions: 1. Do things you enjoy, such as picking up hobbies you temporarily put aside due to other things; 2. Try new challenges, like learning a language or playing a musical instrument; 3. Chat with friends, have a meal together, and share your inner confusion; 4. Document your life, write in a diary, take photos, shoot videos, etc., to add a sense of ritual to your life; 5. Share your feelings with your family. Trust that your family will help you solve problems and share your burden. If these suggestions don't change your current situation, please seek help from a mental health professional in a timely manner. Professionals can provide guidance and advice. I hope this helps. Take care! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14492
       },
       {
        "question": "How to maintain healthy boundaries in interpersonal relationships in daily life?",
        "description": "Although we often say that we should carefully manage interpersonal boundaries in life, are interpersonal boundaries objectively existent?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this is a very good question. Yes, interpersonal boundaries exist and they exist within everyone's inner self, it is the awareness of interpersonal boundaries. Every individual has different concepts, different understandings of the world and society, and different awareness of oneself. Therefore, there are different degrees of interpersonal boundaries. Some people have a very clear sense of boundary, while others have a blurry sense of interpersonal boundaries, and so on. Polite and high-quality individuals will do so consciously, without needing to follow assigned tasks or adhere to certain restrictions set by others. Because such individuals have internal rules and a strong sense of boundaries, they will not easily trespass others' boundaries, whether it's physical space or inner psychological space. Interpersonal boundaries are stronger for individuals with strong self-awareness, but not necessarily for all. Interpersonal boundaries, especially in our current society, are very important and necessary. This is because society is developing rapidly, time is precious, and efficiency is paramount. Time is money, time is efficiency. Moreover, with the advent of the internet and increased information exchange, maintaining interpersonal boundaries is even more crucial. As an ancient saying goes, only speak three parts when talking to someone, don't reveal your whole heart. My elders have told me to listen to only half of what others say, guess the other half, and understand half. Never push someone to reveal everything, so as not to provoke their displeasure. Humans are social animals, and the people we come into contact with and those around us vary, but they can generally be divided into: loved ones, relatives, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. Relatives can further be categorized into direct relatives and distant relatives based on legal definitions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6826
       },
       {
        "question": "Having a fight with girlfriend, she got angry and went to be with another guy?",
        "description": "Together with my girlfriend for 8 months, we occasionally argue in our long-distance relationship, but we video chat almost every day. 2 days ago, we were discussing celebrities, and she commented on how Yang Chaoyue wasn't working hard enough, so I jokingly said, \"Don't you dare talk about my Chaoyue like that.\" Then she blocked me and said she hates me for being such a crazy fan. But she knows me well. I'm not into celebrity worship, and it was just a joke. No matter how much I try to comfort or explain, it's useless. She said she wants a boyfriend who doesn't like Yang Chaoyue and thought she was joking. But it turns out, she's serious and there's this guy who always tries to hit on her. I kept apologizing afterwards, but she says she regrets it now and doesn't know how to explain it to that guy. I'm thinking of breaking up. Is love really so fickle? I'm also worried that maybe she cheated on me a long time ago, and this is just an excuse. Both of us are 25 years old and working.",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, infidelity, arguments.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Even if two people are angry, they still need to have certain boundaries and principles. Based on the behavior of the other party, I personally suggest that the topic starter seriously consider the relationship between the two of them. Firstly, when two people are together, there will inevitably be conflicts and disagreements. However, a seemingly simple joke reflects many issues. Personally, I feel that the other party's previous behavior was just an excuse for herself. The other party and that guy's relationship should have been unclear for a long time. Moreover, due to the long-distance relationship, we are not very clear about what the other party does every day. Therefore, it is not a coincidence that the other party blocked the topic starter and got together with that guy. Secondly, when the topic starter discovered that his girlfriend was flirting with the other guy, if we consider it from a different perspective, how would the other party react if the topic starter was caught flirting with another girl? Trust and loyalty are the most important aspects of a relationship. We trust each other, so we don't have suspicions about many things. However, after this incident happened, will the topic starter still believe in the other party as before? Moreover, the other party is still thinking about how to explain it to the guy, so why doesn't she give the topic starter a chance? Lastly, we need to think clearly about why two people are together. Because the topic starter and the other party are in a long-distance relationship, it is destined to have many practical problems, such as who would sacrifice their job for the other person, what plans will they have in the future, and so on. If neither of them has considered these issues and it's just a simple love, it means that we are not prepared for many things. So it is better to calm down and think about what we really want. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand your feelings, sending you a hug~ Forgive me for speaking frankly, but it does sound like the other person is being somewhat casual about the relationship. I think they might really mean to break up. A seemingly harmless joke, no matter how it is explained or how much you try to appease, just won't work. If she really wants to leave, then it is indeed difficult for you. After all, if she wants to go, how can you stop her? If communication hasn't been effective, I suggest you calm down first and wait to see her attitude. Maybe you will have a clearer understanding of your relationship. If this relationship can still continue, I suggest discussing future plans with her, and it's best to end the long-distance situation as soon as possible. Try not to let trivial matters affect the relationship. Actually, it's understandable that you say you want to break up. I hope you re-evaluate this relationship and think carefully before acting. \"You can never wake up someone who is pretending to sleep.\" If she has decided to leave, it might be better to be more free-spirited and separate. That means you might really not be suitable for each other. I don't know if you're still feeling complicated or if you've calmed down a bit, but I want to tell you\u2014don't lose heart, there is still a road ahead. Wishing you all the best~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it can be seen that you really like this girlfriend, and you have also made some efforts to maintain your relationship, including apologizing and trying to reconcile. I'm not sure how you used to get along with your girlfriend, but have there been situations where she blocked you after small arguments during your time together? It has been eight months already, and I'm not sure if you have been in a long-distance relationship the whole time. Long-distance relationships can be more complicated because you are not physically together and may lack the daily companionship, which can lead to feelings of exhaustion and loneliness. Your intuition also suggests that your girlfriend may not want to break up just because of a \"joke,\" but there may be more unexpressed feelings behind it. If your girlfriend often shows significant emotional fluctuations and blocks you easily, it can be inferred that she may lack a sense of security and has a personality that is easily influenced by emotions. This \"joke\" may have just triggered her accumulated insecurity. Especially since you were praising another girl, this may make her feel like she failed in comparison with other women. Her actions of blocking you may be a defense mechanism to avoid feeling hurt and unloved. For you, maintaining a long-distance relationship is indeed not easy, and it is normal to feel betrayed and disrespected. You can take some time when you are calm to think about what you value most about your partner in this relationship. Do the parts you like about her still exist? If you still like her, you can try to sincerely express your feelings and try to improve your relationship. If she does not have the willingness to work together to repair the relationship, it may be time to let go and find a relationship that is more suitable for you. I wish you all the best in your intimate relationships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that you are concerned and doubtful about your situation with her. However, this is also an opportunity for both of you to grow. You mentioned that two days ago, you were discussing celebrities and she made a comment about how Yang Chaoyue is not working hard enough. You jokingly said, \"You're not allowed to say that about my beloved Chaoyue.\" However, she took it the wrong way and blocked you, saying she hates \"crazy fans\" like you. You also mentioned that you were joking and she knows that you are not a fan. So why did it escalate to this point? It's because in a girl's mind, she wants to feel cherished and protected. If she doesn't feel cherished and protected, she might become indifferent or even consider ending the relationship. However, if she feels cherished and protected, she will trust you more and become more intimate with you. When she made the comment about Yang Chaoyue, your response of \"You're not allowed to say that about my beloved Chaoyue\" made her feel like you were standing up for Yang Chaoyue, like you were on her side. That's why she got upset. If you had said, \"Yeah, she's not as good as my beloved,\" she would have felt cherished. And she would have become more intimate with you and trusted you more. When the relationship between two people becomes closer, what others think doesn't matter. I hope this answer is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! In a long-distance relationship like yours, it's possible that you invest more in the emotional aspect. You mentioned that you have video contact almost every day, and your joke didn't really escalate to the point where your girlfriend wants to block and break up with you. Now you're starting to doubt your relationship and the foundation of your feelings is shaky. \"Is love really so casual?\" I understand your distress and worry.\u203b Take a step back and think about your relationship, you can communicate with each other. Let everyone cool down for now. During this cooling-off period, you can reflect on your relationship. In this situation, you are the one who got hurt. You also emphasized that you both are 25 and working adults, so it's important to take responsibility for your words and actions. It seems like your girlfriend's action of blocking you has caused you to apologize continuously. She says she regrets it but doesn't know how to explain it to the other guy. It's possible that the other guy's passive response and indecisive attitude also made you feel discouraged.\u203b Enhance communication and understand the whole story. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, and your girlfriend's actions have caused trust to be broken. You have the right to know the truth of the whole situation, of course, knowing the truth also comes with a price. You can consider whether you can accept it. Secondly, if the other person really cheated on you before, can you still accept it? Can this relationship continue? Have you truly let go or are you just settling because you're reluctant to leave? In a relationship, both parties are equal and independent. You have the right to know the truth and make your own choice. Listen to the voice in your heart and find the answer within. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The interaction between your girlfriend and you reminds me of the childhood friendships: if you are in my group, I'll be good to you, if not, then I won't. Do you have a sense of familiarity? Obviously, you and your girlfriend have different understandings of love and different levels of emotional maturity. She is more like a child, someone who is good at using emotional manipulation. If you want to continue this relationship, you may have to treat her like a \"child\" and guide her towards psychological growth (by influencing, not blaming or trying to change her). Of course, the choice is yours.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The original paragraph is as follows:\n\nThe OP mentioned that in the past two years, they don't know what kind of person their girlfriend is. First of all, it is not right for the girlfriend to seek attention from other guys and engage in flirtatious conversations. But have you ever considered that your girlfriend might know you're joking? Also, does your girlfriend have any close friends in that city where she plays with the guy? Instead of asking here, it would be better to have a proper conversation with her. Honestly, I am the type of person who is just like your girlfriend. I am most afraid of long-distance relationships, and I am also afraid that he might misunderstand that I actually love him and have very little sense of security. I am also afraid that he might make jokes, even if they have nothing to do with me or are about celebrities. Both of you need to communicate and understand each other.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Based on your description, it's unclear whether she has lost interest in you a long time ago. However, it is apparent that she is not as into you. The state of your relationship, even though long distance, has become abnormal due to an issue as trivial as being a fan or not. Although she is coming back to you now, it feels like you are more of a backup plan. It's important to think deeply about how she truly feels about you and the state of your relationship. I believe you will find the answer. Keep going, I am here with you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 17816
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do some counselors always have better results than others?",
        "description": "Professor Bruce E. Wampold, in his book \"The Great Psychotherapy Debate,\" states, \"There is a significant difference in the effectiveness of therapists: some therapists consistently achieve better outcomes than others, whether in clinical experiments or practical cases.\" What causes this difference? What are the characteristics of psychologists who consistently achieve positive counseling outcomes? How do they enhance the effectiveness of counseling?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The most important factor in determining the effectiveness of counseling is the counseling relationship, which is heavily influenced by the counselor's personality. If a counselor has a gentle, understanding, and patient personality with strong empathetic skills, they have innate advantages and talents in counseling. Even if they may not be highly skilled in counseling techniques, they can easily navigate the counseling relationship. Over time, the counseling effectiveness will gradually manifest. On the other hand, if a counselor has an impatient and controlling personality, and tends to give advice and directives in a dominant manner, the counseling effectiveness will be poorer. Even if they have excellent counseling skills, their ability to improve the effectiveness of counseling will be limited. Many people who study psychological counseling today have a misconception that they focus too much on techniques, striving to learn techniques everywhere, but neglect the cultivation of their own personality, which is detrimental to their work. In addition to the counselor's effectiveness in counseling, the counseling setup also plays a significant role. If a counselor adheres to principles, remains calm, follows proper counseling procedures, sets counseling goals, and establishes good rapport with clients, the counseling effectiveness will be very evident. Conversely, if the counselor's counseling setup is disorganized, such as frequently changing appointment times or being consistently late, the counseling effectiveness will be particularly poor. As a result, clients may become unsatisfied and ultimately leave. This situation tests the counselor's fundamental skills and their ability to manage the counseling setup. Counselors need to accumulate experience through long-term practice, reflect on their mistakes, and continuously improve themselves. Ultimately, they should strive to reach their optimal state in terms of personality, skills, and all other aspects. Counseling abilities grow and develop through continuous accumulation, and the more experience one has, the better their abilities will be. Combined with the counselor's continuous learning, the effectiveness of counseling can be consistently ensured.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Your professional question is really specialized. I am not very knowledgeable about Western modern psychology, so I will try to answer from the perspective of Eastern psychology theory. The treatment of psychological problems and mental illnesses is actually not much different from seeking medical treatment for physical problems. No patient and case are completely identical, only similarities exist. Similarly, no doctor's treatment ability and level are exactly the same, just like studying in the same prestigious university and the same class, each student's learning ability and practical skills are also different. Psychological therapists will inevitably have differences in treatment outcomes for different patients, even if it is the same patient. From the perspective of Eastern psychology, there are two main reasons: one is individual habits and the other is causal factors. Each of us has different habits, some people are naturally sensitive to music, some people naturally run faster than others, and some people have amazing memory. This is not solely inherited from parents, so being ahead of others in a certain field of ability does not come solely from postnatal learning, but rather from innate habits. The other reason is causal factors, which is more difficult to explain and can only be metaphorically explained. For example, sometimes we meet someone we don't know, but just by listening to their voice, observing their appearance and behavior, we inexplicably feel a sense of closeness and trust, while at other times we may develop negative feelings towards strangers. This inexplicable feeling comes from postnatal formation of one's worldview and value orientations, as well as harmonization or conflict of causality between individuals. This is a bit mysterious, similar to Western astrology and Eastern zodiac signs. Because the mysteries of human beings and self still remain in a state of exploration, don't they? I hope this answer is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15672
       },
       {
        "question": "Where does emotional indifference begin? How can one restore the past passion?",
        "description": "Our marriage has been over two years, and we have a son who is over one year old. Our relationship should have started when I found out I was pregnant, about a month or so. After that, we only had a few times of sexual intercourse, and then it never happened again. It seems that our emotions started to fade around that time. The birth of our child brought us a lot of happiness, but our relationship has problems. We have talked about it and discussed the issue of our sex life, but my wife is not very interested. After that, we never talked about this topic again. We both know that our emotions have faded, but we don't know how to move forward.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management, and sexual life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following response will be helpful to you. First, let's summarize the situation you described: \u25b2 You have been married for over two years and have a child who is over one year old. \u25b2 After your wife got pregnant, you haven't had any sexual intimacy. \u25b2 While the child brings happiness to the family, there are problems in the relationship. From a psychological perspective, the issue of sexual intimacy is rooted in the marital relationship. Just like women, wives have the need for intimacy driven by love, but if there are problems in the emotional relationship, they may not be able to fulfill their obligations. Therefore, it is necessary to adjust the sexual intimacy by addressing the emotional relationship. You can consider: ++ Do you love her? How much do you love her? Love is extremely important for a woman, and it is the core issue here. ++ What do you love about her? ++ Do you understand her inner needs? ++ Does she love you the same way?... From the perspective of marital relationships, in Sternberg's triangular theory of love, passion, commitment, and intimacy (sex) are all important. So, what else is there in your marriage? Are all three aspects present? How strong are they? Therefore, when considering adjustments in your marital relationship, it's important to think from multiple angles. Your family dynamic is one of happiness without love, which is attributed to the child. There is happiness but marital unhappiness. This type of family dynamic may not be deeply perceived by a young child, but as they grow older, they will sense that the atmosphere of their parents' relationship is not right or healthy. This can cause certain psychological and emotional harm to the child, leading to a sensitive and insecure personality. It's recommended that you seek specialized counseling for psychological development (such as couples counseling). I am here, and the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18939
       },
       {
        "question": "The person I like finds me annoying and doesn't want to chat with me anymore, which makes me extremely upset. What should I do?",
        "description": "We have been talking for over two months without a break. The day before yesterday, I messaged him and he didn't reply. Yesterday, I didn't reach out to him and as a result, our chat history was broken. I asked him if he was annoyed with me, and he said yes. I feel so overwhelmed. I asked him if he could stop bothering me until my entrance exam (I'm in eighth grade). He said it's possible, but does that mean we won't have any contact in the future? I can't get myself into a better mood. Just the thought of him makes me want to cry. I can't concentrate on my homework and write it well. I want to go out and take a break, but I can't. No one wants to listen to me talk about this, and I can't find anyone to confide in. I'm really afraid that I can't handle it.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotional regulation, panic and helplessness, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, in the past two months, you have been in constant contact, which has allowed you to understand each other better. Chatting with him has become a habit for you within these two months, and you have become somewhat dependent on him. At this moment, if he suddenly stops contacting you, it is natural for you to feel upset. You don't know why this is happening, maybe during your time together, he realized that you are not compatible. Or perhaps one day the things you said crossed a line and made him angry. Regardless of the reason, he has stopped contacting you now, and I think you should gradually adjust and return to your own life. If you have good friends, you can confide in them and seek their advice to help ease your mind. Stay strong and work hard, because as long as you are excellent and powerful enough, the things you desire will come to you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 19986
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you sometimes say hurtful words even though you actually crave for the other person's care?",
        "description": "There is a friend who is dating a boyfriend. However, they often argue and she actually wants him to comfort her but he always says harsh words. And when he tries to comfort her, she will test his limits, which makes him angry and stops comforting her. This makes her anxious. What should she do about this behavior?",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security, quarrels, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 (1) First of all, why do you have to say hurtful words when you actually want to receive care from the other person? Perhaps this is their way of trying to hold on to you or gaining more attention. Some people tend to say hurtful things in order to seek more love. (2) Secondly, you can try to help your friend shift their mindset because if they don't make any changes, this pattern might continue and they won't be able to break free from it. Only they themselves will end up feeling hurt. (3) Lastly, you can try to talk to the person they are interested in and make them aware of this pattern, and together, they can come up with a way to have a healthier relationship. #The world and I love you, wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a big hug! Hello OP, regarding the concerns you described: -- Communication issues between boyfriends and girlfriends [Learn to communicate] Every person's education and upbringing are different, and the ways in which they express themselves also vary. From the beginning of our social interactions, we start to adapt and improve upon our shortcomings through communication and understanding with friends, thus enhancing our friendships. Love is actually a gradual process of communication, continuously improving the relationship through understanding and adaptation. Communication is even more crucial between boyfriends and girlfriends, where it is important to openly express the aspects that we do not like about each other and attempt to solve problems together, rather than harboring suspicion or dissatisfaction. I wish you all the best! The above is just my personal opinion, if you need assistance, please message me. If you require more professional help, please seek a professional counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18393
       },
       {
        "question": "How to maintain a long-distance relationship?",
        "description": "I often share funny videos with my girlfriend, but because I am really busy with school and also have soccer team training, we talk less. However, my girlfriend is clingy, she messages me during class and wants to talk on the phone every day, even though there's nothing specific to talk about, she just wants to be on the call and talk about random things. I feel like I can't spend as much time as she wants on the phone. Then, a few days ago, when we were on the phone, I shared a joke with her, but she impatiently said that I was annoying. It made me feel uncomfortable, so I asked her if she found me annoying, I would just hang up. She responded with a rude \"um\" and then there was silence for a few seconds before I hung up. Now, I don't know what to do, I haven't felt like talking to her much these past few days. Ugh.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "When we encounter difficulties in a relationship, perhaps we can look back at how the relationship started, what our expectations were for this relationship, what changes have occurred up until now, and how these changes came about. Of course, these questions require both parties to reflect on and be aware of them. The freshness and passion of love will inevitably calm down at times, so what sustains the relationship and emotions at that point? If it is only reliant on passion, then once the passion fades, the relationship may also come to an end. In intimate relationships, besides passion, there is also closeness and responsibility. The harmonization of two individuals moving towards the same goal is a process of seeking common ground while accepting differences. In long-distance relationships, when faced with all aspects of life, many emotional fluctuations may not be resolved in a timely manner, making it even more necessary for both parties to have a strong foundation, mutual recognition of the relationship, as well as personal independence and maturity. In fact, even in relationships where two people are constantly together, they will also face various challenges. Therefore, it is essential to grow ourselves, improve our communication skills, and work together to strengthen our relationship. This might be the fundamental way.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1928
       },
       {
        "question": "When I was in elementary school, I experienced bullying and verbal abuse in the campus. Sometimes, I hear people chatting in my mind.",
        "description": "It is like talking to myself in my mind, and sometimes someone guides me on what to do. Moreover, when I see others discussing something, I feel like they are discussing me. Recently, I have been unable to fall asleep at night and only manage to fall asleep around one or two in the morning.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, your emotional state has not been particularly good. Recently, you have sometimes felt like there is another person inside your body. When you see others discussing something, you know deep down that they are not talking about you, but you still feel worried. Also, your sleep quality has been worse than before. Hugs to you. It's evident from your description that your mental condition is not very good, and you are experiencing a kind of mental exhaustion. I suggest that you seek medical care at a top-level psychiatric hospital as soon as possible. Professional treatment can help you recover gradually. Sending you a big hug. The above is my advice, hoping it can help you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17114
       },
       {
        "question": "Failed the college entrance examination and currently repeating the year, facing a lot of pressure. How to relieve stress?",
        "description": "After failing the college entrance examination, I am currently in a gap year and facing a lot of pressure. I have been considering giving up, but my family strongly disagrees. How can I relieve the stress?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in your question, I hope to provide you with some help in my upcoming answer. For failing the college entrance exam, it can be said that this is the biggest difficulty you are currently facing. Watching your former friends enter the university campus while you have to repeat the year due to this exam, seeing your classmates celebrate their acceptance to college while you struggle in the sea of \u200b\u200blearning, it must be a great pressure. Faced with the request from your family to repeat the year, you also can't bear to refuse. You don't know whether you should repeat the year or go to a university now, work hard there, and then apply to your dream university. It can be said that these are two completely different paths, but the purpose is to pave the way for your future learning. It's just a matter of time. As for now, you may want to give up, but your family disagrees and you are under a lot of pressure. It can be said that at this crossroads in life, each time is a different choice. As an adult, you need to be responsible for your own choices and cannot easily give up. For you right now, you cannot give up this period of repeating the year. So, I can give you the following suggestions, hoping to help you! Firstly, cut off contact with your high school classmates and focus on studying. Don't give up until you achieve your goal. Secondly, find the pressure you had during the three years of high school, abandon your previous identity, and start a new senior year with a new identity. Thirdly, during this year of repeating, analyze the reasons for your failure and once again stand on the stage of the college entrance exam. Lastly, recognize your abilities and communicate with your parents in a timely manner. These four suggestions are just my opinion, hoping it will be helpful to you. I wish you a successful and positive new year. I hope you will have a brilliant life in the future.",
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       {
        "question": "How to overcome the feeling of inferiority caused by one's family background?",
        "description": "After studying psychology, I realized that the influence of the family of origin on the individual is truly significant. This feeling of inferiority seems to be ingrained in my bones. How can I overcome the feelings of inferiority caused by my family of origin?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! First, let me give you a big hug. When I saw your question, it really resonated with me. Our upbringing can bring us feelings of inferiority from various aspects, such as poverty, negative family relationships or parent-child relationships, physical defects, and so on. Because of these factors, we feel inferior to others, and thus develop a sense of inferiority. As for overcoming inferiority, I have some suggestions for you. First and foremost, we need to face ourselves and accept who we are. This understanding of ourselves needs to be objective. Only by facing ourselves can we understand our strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect, and accepting our imperfect selves allows us to rationally leverage our strengths and mitigate our weaknesses. In this world, no one is perfect, and it is precisely our imperfections that make us closer to perfection. Distance yourself from sources of harm: Since we are unable to confront external sources of harm, why not choose to distance ourselves from them? I had a strained relationship with my parents since childhood, and when I went to university, I chose a city where they were not present. Because we rarely saw each other, their words and actions no longer had a significant impact on me. Of course, distancing ourselves does not mean being disrespectful to our parents; it means establishing boundaries and understanding our differences, without forcing others to accept or be influenced by us. Consequently, my feelings of inferiority in terms of family relationships have also significantly diminished. Maintain distance from sources of harm. Over time, you will forget about them until they no longer affect you. Live in harmony with your feelings of inferiority: It is undeniable that feelings of inferiority bring negative emotions and impact our studies and daily lives. However, appropriate feelings of inferiority can also motivate us to progress and give us the drive to move forward. Face your feelings of inferiority, don't suppress or resist them. Instead, choose methods you enjoy and consider reasonable to release them. When you are unable to control your emotions, slow down and engage in activities you enjoy. After a few hours, you will find that your feelings of inferiority have disappeared, and you will feel more relaxed. Engage in a dialogue with the \"other\": When your feelings of inferiority arise, write them on the left side of a paper, and then, in the role of an imaginary observer, write their perspective on the right side. For example: Left: \"Why am I so inadequate and incapable?\" Right: \"Don't underestimate yourself. You are good at writing and drawing, and you treat others kindly... You have many strengths; you just haven't realized them yet.\" This method will gradually help us establish a more accurate cognitive thinking process. In this world, many people are plagued by feelings of inferiority caused by their upbringing. Some fortunate ones overcome the feelings, while others may struggle with them their whole lives. It might be impossible to completely overcome them, but we can become better every day.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you're right, the influence of the original family is significant, but it can still be changed. You mentioned feeling inferior due to the influence of your original family, and it seems like this sense of inferiority has become ingrained in your bones. Can I understand it as you believing that \"inferiority\" is the \"culture\" of your entire family, passed down from generation to generation until your generation couldn't escape this \"vicious circle\"? Have you ever analyzed the reasons for this? For example, tracing back to ancestors, you find that the family was facing a crisis at that time and had to \"endure humiliation and carry heavy burdens,\" but in the process of passing down, it was misunderstood as \"inferiority,\" and continued to be passed on in this mistaken way. In other words, it is highly possible that the \"inferiority\" passed down in your family is not inherited from genes, but closely related to the environment and personal subjectivity at that time. I don't know if you've ever heard this saying - \"Man's determination can overcome heaven.\" In fact, many things can be changed. I think to overcome the sense of inferiority brought by the original family, first, you need to have a clear understanding of yourself, including your strengths and weaknesses, when your strengths may turn into weaknesses, and when you may discover that weaknesses become strengths. After this analysis, you will be able to see yourself clearly. Secondly, you need to make targeted adjustments and practice, especially in situations where you often feel inferior. You need to repeatedly rehearse, and I believe that each rehearsal will make you more confident. Lastly, view \"inferiority\" correctly. In fact, everyone feels inferior at times because \"there are always people better than us, and there are always heavens beyond our reach.\" No one is perfect, and we can only strive to constantly improve ourselves. I believe that having a moderate sense of inferiority is necessary, but we must not excessively belittle ourselves. As long as we become better than the previous day, we have no need for inferiority, because we are on the path to becoming a better version of ourselves! Keep going! You can do it, believe in yourself!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 7857
       },
       {
        "question": "After studying psychology, can one understand and manipulate anyone?",
        "description": "Can you understand most people after studying \"General Psychology\" and \"Social Psychology\"?",
        "keywords": "Love, infatuation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! First of all, according to the common understanding of \"\u62ff\u4e0b\" (which means \"take down\" in English), it refers to control, conquest, or surpassing. Secondly, assuming that we understand \"\u5927\u90e8\u5206\u4eba\" (which means \"most people\" in English) as referring to more than 50%, there are currently about 20,000 certified consultants in the domestic statistics, and a population of 1.4 billion in China. So let's assume that the \"\u5927\u90e8\u5206\u4eba\" you are referring to is either over 10,000 people in the industry or over 700 million people in society. Furthermore, since you put the book titles in quotation marks, I assume you are referring to the books \"\u666e\u901a\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\" (General Psychology) and \"\u793e\u4f1a\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\" (Social Psychology) as separate works, not vertical specialized research in these two fields. \u25cf If \"\u666e\u901a\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\" refers to a book, it studies the general principles and mechanisms of psychological processes and behaviors in normal adults. It is a basic introductory discipline that includes the theoretical principles and methods of psychology, psychological processes, psychological states, and personality traits. At the same time, it encompasses the research achievements of various branches of psychology and serves as general knowledge and theoretical foundation for these branches. \u25cf If \"\u793e\u4f1a\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\" refers to a book, it is a branch discipline based on \"\u666e\u901a\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\", focusing on the psychological and behavioral processes and changes of individuals and groups in social interactions. In summary, the content includes the individual's influence on society, society's influence on individuals, and the mutual influence between social groups. Other branches at the same level include but are not limited to educational psychology, management psychology, consumer psychology, and criminal psychology. Although we all have the wish to simplify things and hope that limited knowledge can serve a large number of people, \"\u62ff\u4e0b\" at least 10,000 people is definitely not something that can be achieved simply by finishing reading these two books, let alone \"\u62ff\u4e0b\" over 700 million people. Even if you have read 2,000 books and mastered knowledge in multiple fields horizontally and vertically, it does not directly connect with \"\u62ff\u4e0b\u522b\u4eba\" (to take others down). Knowledge acquisition is not like memorizing jokes to become a topic of conversation, and possessing a small amount of knowledge is not capital, let alone qualification. If our desire is to conquer others and be respected by them, the first mandatory lesson is personal charm, followed by professional cultivation. Both of these require comprehensive qualities, which means having the ability to attract and influence others through personal character and temperament, as well as constantly overcoming challenges and achieving a high level of expertise in the field we are studying. By continuously expanding our learning in various areas, we can make progress in our professional field and achieve some level of success in \"taking others down\". Thank you for your question!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear classmate. I saw your question, why is that? Because when I was young and ignorant, I also fantasized about studying all the books at once and becoming invincible. In fact, I was wrong. For example, when we were young, we memorized everything that needed to be memorized in history books. Even for the college entrance examination, we could form a mental picture of any page we flipped to. Unfortunately, even though we knew that the exam tested the content of the books, we still made mistakes and didn't know how to answer. So, your question is, after studying psychology thoroughly, can we understand everyone? My answer is: no. This is similar to reading many books, but still not being able to solve problems. We may understand a lot of theoretical knowledge, but each person is a unique individual. The book teaches you only theoretical knowledge, which is a commonality. However, each person is different, and the book won't teach you specific solutions. Psychology is a constantly developing discipline, and people always have many questions. The range of psychological issues is also becoming more extensive. What we read is just the tip of the iceberg. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, let me tell you straightforwardly that after studying \"General Psychology\" and \"Social Psychology,\" you cannot understand or control the majority of people, not even yourself. Second, I don't really understand what \"understanding or controlling the majority\" means. Is it about manipulation, comprehension, or getting along with everyone? Regardless of what it refers to, most people cannot be understood or controlled. As someone who has been familiar with psychology for many years, obtained a Level 2 Psychological Counselor certificate, and read numerous psychology books, I can only say that nowadays, I cannot even understand myself. Sometimes, I still fall into unnecessary worries, make mistakes that I should have avoided, and even shout at my child when they don't listen (although I regret it immediately after). Psychology, in a broad sense, studies the occurrence, development, and laws of mental phenomena. The book \"Fundamental Psychology\" discusses the basic principles of psychology and the general laws of psychological phenomena. \"Social Psychology\" is a field that studies the psychological and behavioral changes that occur in individuals and groups during social interactions. It is an interdisciplinary subject that combines sociology and psychology, with two basic orientations: \"social psychology of psychology\" and \"social psychology of sociology.\" This course is taught in both sociology and psychology. Here, the questioner is referring to the psychological approach to social psychology. As for psychological counseling, as a practical application of psychology, a counselor needs to have the theoretical knowledge of psychology, as well as learn various theoretical schools, counseling tools, techniques, etc. The growth of a psychological counselor takes time and requires a lot of money. If the questioner only wants to use the study of psychology to help understand the world, relationships, and improve their own social and personal life, it is still necessary to learn more about psychology, at least by studying \"Developmental Psychology,\" \"Abnormal Psychology,\" \"Psychological Measurement,\" and \"Counseling Psychology.\" However, even after completing all of these studies, one still cannot understand or control the majority of people. First, many psychological theories are based on induction, but we encounter individuals who may be exceptions to these generalizations. Even the most skilled counselor may encounter cases that they are not suitable for. Second, a person's personality and psychology are not static; they undergo continuous changes. Therefore, studying psychology can help us reconcile with the world and live a more relaxed life, allowing us to be logically consistent. As a counselor, I often struggle between being serene and dispirited, occasionally embodying a positive and progressive attitude towards the world.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, actually, many people at the beginning of studying psychology can read minds and even control others, but in reality, it's just a fantasy to pass the time. Because you can never fully achieve it, and importantly, others are not foolish. Learning this science is a process of understanding from knowing, from understanding to comprehending oneself: accepting oneself, accepting life, understanding one's social position, establishing a high level of self-identity, reconciling with oneself. Understanding others: accepting others' emotions, feelings, and being able to empathize with others' experiences, recognizing that everyone grows and can grow, thus creating a better social circle for oneself. Understanding society: recognizing the unpredictability of social changes, understanding the process and significance of social activities. Understanding the world: understanding the world's structure, understanding the laws of nature, realizing that all living beings in the world are equal, thereby establishing and possessing an advanced world view. So, this is the true meaning of psychology, as well as the true meaning of all science. If you want to study this science, you need to understand that it is not used to manipulate or control anyone. After you truly start studying psychology, you will gradually understand. Trust me, this kind of thinking you have is something that almost every person studying psychology has to some extent at the beginning, or even in their professional habits. But everyone eventually understands that the true essence of this science is far more advanced and profound than that, much more, much more, much more! I hope my advice can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From the question, I guess you are quite young and have only recently come in contact with psychology. First of all, I would like to share my feelings after studying psychology. I started reading books about psychology more than 20 years ago because at that time, I didn't understand why people had to \"suffer\" in life and why I didn't want to live. I wanted to find answers in books and understand why I felt that way. However, even after more than 20 years, although I have resolved my own issues, I sometimes feel very powerless when I see people who are caught in suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and restlessness. It feels like I am separated from them by a thick, soundproof glass. I try to shout at them to leave that dangerous place, but many times they are indifferent, and I often watch them hurt themselves but I am unable to help. Many times, even if I have acquired knowledge and methods, I find that these methods only work for some people, not everyone. Humans are complex beings, each one unique in the world. How can you analyze each unique individual with the same knowledge, methods, and experience written in books? As for the question itself, when you say \"after learning,\" in the process of studying psychology, you will find that the more you learn, the more you realize the vastness of psychological knowledge, and it is worth continuously learning and exploring through practice. I don't know when \"after learning\" would be considered finished. As for \"handling everyone,\" I don't know what it means to \"handle\" people. Is it about controlling them, curing them, or understanding them? I think this is an impossible goal to achieve! Of course, setting a lofty goal is a good choice when studying, so that it can motivate you to continuously strive and persist! Congratulations! Both the world and myself love you! Let's learn together and immerse ourselves in the vast sea of psychological knowledge!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that I cannot understand everyone. Sometimes, even after reading dozens of psychology books, I still may not truly comprehend all the content and be able to understand everyone. If your mindset and beliefs have not changed, your communication with others about psychology will still be based on your old way of thinking. I believe that studying psychology is about gradually transforming our incorrect cognition into correct cognition, gradually improving ourselves, discovering and understanding ourselves, and exploring our own potential. Psychology also has a subtle and gradual influence. It can unconsciously affect a person. If you cannot integrate knowledge into action and do not practice, then although you have knowledge in your mind, you will still be the same. You will only stay at the level of knowing without transitioning from subconscious to conscious. Only through one's own transformation, true awakening, and self-awareness can one truly influence others and use their life to impact others' lives. Continuous learning, gradual accumulation, and continuous improvement are necessary.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The content is very different from the title. It is impossible for anyone to achieve it, especially when you can't conquer yourself. Most people won't be able to either. Because this majority is still a very small part. But no matter what, if he can help you open up this world, it's already very good. Especially in the realm of the mind, you have already entered it, congratulations.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 955
       },
       {
        "question": "How to resolve the internal conflict of being a married 32-year-old bisexual man?",
        "description": "In the past, I used to struggle with depression due to my sexual orientation. In the past year, it seems like I have started to doubt myself again, or maybe it's not exactly doubt. I am attracted to both men and women, which creates inner conflicts for me. Especially now that I have a family, I know deep down that I should focus on nurturing my family. However, it is inevitable that I encounter men who stir my emotions in everyday life, and this conflict becomes even more intense when I drink.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, infidelity, sexual life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Recently, this conflicting state must be very difficult, right? Hugs to you! There's no need to be depressed because of your sexual orientation. Liking someone, loving someone is uncontrollable, even if they are the same gender. It's just a natural infatuation, not a dilemma. The root cause is a combination of various factors from society and family that make you feel that it shouldn't be this way. There's also the moral condemnation and guilt towards your wife. They are gradually losing against the game of infatuation. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual, getting married, or encountering a boy you have feelings for. But you have been married for 5 years, isn't it a bit cruel for your wife? After all, you were supposed to spend your whole life together with her. Loyalty is a choice to safeguard love in a marriage. If you really like that guy, get a divorce. Otherwise, cut off these thoughts. If your immediate reaction after reading this is that you can't cut off these thoughts, then communicate with your wife. Say sorry and tell her that you've fallen in love with someone else, instead of silently struggling with conflicts, to the point of infidelity, which would bring a series of troubles. Your wife will also meet other people she has feelings for, but she doesn't tell you when she rejects them. If you feel that the feelings between you both have faded, then have a good conversation. If you still have a deep connection with your wife, I hope you can return to your family. After all, love is between two people, adding one more person will spoil it. I hope you can choose carefully and that this can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: It seems like you have deeply felt the conflict within you and the pain you are experiencing. I understand you, but perhaps things are not as serious as you think. Even if it has been clearly defined, looking at this issue from different perspectives may change your \"inner conflict.\" People's conflicts often come from the inability to accept. We can analyze and hope to alleviate your anxiety. Analyzing the issue: Previously, you experienced depression due to sexual orientation, and in the past year, it seems like you have started to doubt yourself again, or maybe not necessarily doubt, but feeling attracted to both men and women, causing inner conflict. This issue is caused by \"sexual values,\" and I am a relationship counselor, so I might be able to help you. This also comes with \"obsessive thinking.\" You can't understand your own thoughts, nor can you face your true feelings. However, through professional guidance, these can be resolved. Especially now that you have a family, you are aware that you should take care of your family, but in life, it is inevitable to encounter men that make your heart race, intensifying this conflict. It is evident that you value family greatly and are willing to love your family/spouse. However, you overlook the most authentic emotions of human nature; the more you try to conceal/force away something, the stronger it becomes. Sometimes, facing the issue is the best remedy, and inner confrontation also requires courage. You should allow yourself to have mixed emotions and accept it as a fact, of course, if it is indeed a fact. We need to find reconciliation within ourselves; otherwise, our inner selves will be like a battlefield, with various contradictions and entanglements rushing in. Directly addressing the issue: \"32-year-old married for 5 years, bisexual man, how to resolve inner conflict?\" Being 32 years old and married for 5 years, when people are young, they may not truly understand themselves. Most of the time, they are still naive and exploring. I believe you are a good man, at least you are striving to be one. As people grow older, they gradually discover things they didn't notice before and experience subtle changes within themselves. This is just a change that comes with reaching this stage of life, but each person has different points of change. Being a bisexual man, even if you are not attracted to men exclusively, heterosexual individuals also inevitably feel attracted to certain boys/girls countless times in marriage. These feelings are real, and we do not need to attack or blame ourselves for having them. How to regulate inner conflict? \"Conflict\" is generally the clash between two or more different opinions. But no matter the conflict, it can be negotiated. It is because you cannot understand or face this matter that you start directing your driving force \"inward,\" resulting in conflict. If you are willing, we can communicate about the details and guide the conflict. Closing remarks: I wish you and your family happiness and joy! I hope you can overcome your inner confusion soon! If you have any specific questions, you can message me privately!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Reading your description, I can sense the conflict you have regarding your sexual orientation and managing your family life. You are aware that you may be bisexual, but society often views this as a marginalized group, which can lead to biases and prejudice. However, science has shown that sexual orientation is influenced by genetics and other factors. Therefore, whether you are homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual, these are all natural and existing groups in human society. Firstly, there is no need for self-blame or self-doubt. When it comes to managing your family, the most important thing is loyalty. If you wish to maintain a happy and healthy family, resist any temptations. If the conflict becomes too overwhelming and you decide to betray or end your marriage, it is important to communicate honestly with your wife and seek her forgiveness. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 18913
       },
       {
        "question": "Refusing to express one's emotions, suppressing oneself, a confused life? (1)",
        "description": "Yesterday was the fourth day of the National Day holiday, and I haven't been home this year. My dad took a half-day drive to come to Shanghai to see me for the first time. I came to Shanghai to work after the Chinese New Year last year. It's still the same old questions. One, why are you so disrespectful to your mom; two, why don't you hang out with your male cousins; three, it's time to find a partner; four, xx city is still better. Looking back, the struggle between my mom and me started when I was old enough to remember things. Whenever I wet my pants, everyone in the village knew that I would get beaten. In first grade, I learned to write the word \"death,\" and I wrote my mom's name next to it. I understood what death meant. I not only wished for her death but also had thoughts of suicide. It was back then that I understood what death was. During my senior year of high school, I made one last attempt to communicate with my mom. I told her at her doorstep that I fainted from low blood sugar during running, my head felt empty, like I was dying. Impatiently, she sent me back home without expressing any concern. Holding back tears, I returned to my room, and since then, I haven't talked to her about anything. Similar incidents happened before. Suddenly having a high fever, I told her I wasn't feeling well, she said I was pretending and ignored me. Soon after, I started vomiting, and my dad took me to the hospital. When I was young, I fantasized about my mom being Zixia from \"A Chinese Odyssey,\" which meant she could transform. When she treated me well, she was Zixia, but when she didn't, she became Hongxia.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, encountering challenges and feeling lost in life is something that everyone goes through. Don't worry, you're not alone. Everyone is going through their own journey. As a child, one often wishes for a caring and loving mother. A mother's embrace brings warmth and companionship, as well as a connection of love. However, when a mother hurts, it cuts off this connection harshly. This is the true source of pain. Should one continue to be entangled in the unchangeable past, or should one grow and reclaim their own power and decision-making ability from this experience? First and foremost, it is important to understand that we cannot choose our mother in this lifetime. If we think about it, she is also a pitiful person. As much as she is indifferent towards you, she is equally neglectful towards herself. This indifference stems from never having been valued or cared for in childhood, growing up in a family that is just as cold. She treats you with the same indifference as she treats others because she simply doesn't know what it means to care or express emotions. Letting someone who is completely incapable of caring show you affection would only lead to disappointment. Accepting this lesson from your mother's life, even though her own unfinished growth and breakthroughs affected you, it is still a part of your destiny. You have to decide if you want to be like your mother or break free from these constraints and have control over your own life. When children are deprived of their parents' love and care, they face a survival test. However, now that we have grown up, we are fully capable of providing ourselves with the love and care we need. It's just that the unfulfilled needs and the wounds from childhood don't disappear as we age, and at some point in life, we have to face our inner vulnerability. Accept this vulnerability, acknowledge the loss, and allow yourself to experience various emotional states. For example, if you don't want to forgive your mother right now, then don't. If you don't want to see her, then don't. It's not avoiding the situation, but rather temporarily allowing yourself to feel that way, while also clearing the accumulated negative emotions from your body. Engage in physical activities, do things you enjoy, and allow yourself to express your emotions when needed. Writing down your grievances towards your mother or expressing them verbally can help release your inner feelings. Through continuous self-clearing, your inner peace will grow, and you will be able to accept the states of others. They are all experiencing their own destinies, and the question is whether to let others influence your entire life or to live according to your own desires \u2013 the choice is yours. Through this process of clearing, you will continuously gain the power to make choices. I wish you to be true to yourself and return to your inner strength. In this return, you can provide yourself with all the care and love you desire. Whether others care for or hurt you, you will still love yourself. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "I feel deeply saddened by the emotional pain and grievances you have experienced in your family. Every family has its own difficulties, and your father's various expectations of you have led to classic questioning from the past. Often, these expectations from parents and elders can also be a form of pressure for oneself. If you find that you have your own opinions, perhaps you can be more courageous in expressing them. Your inner being is filled with feelings of oppression and confusion, which need to be released in a more comfortable way. \n\n\u25c6 Refusing to express your emotions, suppressing yourself, and living in confusion your whole life \n\u25c6 You haven't been home this year, and your father took a half-day trip to Shanghai to see you\n\u25c6 Why do you have such a bad attitude towards your mother? The struggle to suppress and fight started early. \n\nRecalling the past experiences, you may have encountered various forms of neglect and physical violence. There may be various feelings of resentment towards your mother in your inner being. Communication between the two of you is also scarce, and you can only feel overlooked. Your mother's lack of trust in you may also exacerbate the deterioration of your relationship. \n\n\u25a0\u25a0\u25a0 Establishing flexible boundaries with your parents and creating a blueprint \nYou deserve attention and care. Our original families can be hurtful because parents never express their concern in the way you expect. Instead, there are various \"sarcastic remarks, lack of trust, denial, oppression, and urging.\" Having a closer relationship with parents can not only provide us with more support and security, but is also closely related to good health. \n\nIn the process of \"conversing\" with your mother in the past, you have already felt strong anger and grievance. Perhaps it is necessary to realize that your mother has some flaws in her personal character, and if she cannot change, then you should try to make your own adjustments. Perhaps many parents are not good with words, so there are often misunderstandings. In fact, you don't have many conflicts of interest. If you are already an adult, you can take more control of your own life. It's just that we have already erected thorns during our defense, and those statements sound more piercing, adding a lot of pressure. \n\nIf your mother cannot provide you with care, perhaps you can seek care from others and take care of yourself. Now we can temporarily adjust our emotions. You can temporarily avoid discussing these matters and topics with your parents, but don't forget: you are in charge of your own life. Our anger, discontent, resentment, and grievances are the pain of longing for desires that cannot be fulfilled. If there are things we currently cannot benefit from, then we should think about how to get what we want. \n\nSometimes, the estrangement between us and our parents is simply due to a lack of expression of love. There are various generation gaps and differences in beliefs between parents and children. Perhaps in the past, parents didn't understand you, but maybe we can lower our expectations of parents. You can establish your own life plan through your own efforts, and there are still many things to sort out between your family and yourself. You need to see what kind of life you want for yourself.",
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          "answer_text": "Always wanting to be treated gently, but always being ignored and abandoned. After reading the three questions posed by the asker, I thought of this sentence. The asker's problem belongs to the realm of personal growth, but it is complicated by the involvement of their relationship with their adoptive parents and their attitude towards their biological father. The asker seems to be refusing to express themselves, suppressing themselves, and feeling confused, but in reality, this may be a silent protest, a hidden attack through undermining or denying the issues they care about, in order to release the suppressed part of themselves to some extent. However, because this hidden attack also involves their future life and genuine inner needs, they negate their future development trajectory and life while releasing the pressure from their adoptive parents (biological father). This is a typical case of losing more than you gain. After a brief release from suppression, there may be long-term melancholy and emptiness. In the problems mentioned by the asker, it is true that their parents are not concerned about the asker nor pay attention to their issues. They are always immersed in their own world and expect the asker to fulfill their demands, or the behavior of their adoptive parents makes the asker feel less like their child and more like a marionette, being asked to do this and that. Therefore, the asker's refusal to express themselves may be due to the inability to express themselves, not being able to even express to their trusted relatives, and even if they speak up, no one can understand. Who can they confide in then? This may be the source of the asker's suppression. The asker's fantasy about their mom [\"When I was little, I fantasized that my mom was Zixia from 'The Monkey King' and she could transform. When she was good to me, she was Zixia; when she was not, she was Hongxia\"] is actually a hope that their mom can see them, treat them gently, instead of immersing themselves in their own world. Writing up to this point, I remembered a scene I once saw on a bus. A mother was busy talking to others, and her child in her arms kept scratching and poking her, hoping to divert her attention a little and give it to themselves.",
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         },
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          "answer_text": "National Day, first of all, I wish you a happy holiday. You haven't been home this year, I hope you can find happiness even when you are alone. Hello, I hope the following answer can help you: From your description, it seems to be a problem of respecting parents and foster care. People who have had similar experiences (being adopted) would feel sorry and sad for you after reading your post. People who haven't had similar experiences can't understand or empathize with you. They may say they understand you, but do they really? Do they truly understand? Because you are a girl, your biological parents may have sent you away for reasons like wanting a son. Being sent away, no matter how old you were at that time, is a deeply traumatic separation! The feudal mindset in China that favors boys over girls has harmed so many girls! A girl who was originally like an angel should have received love, but instead was sent away? Therefore, in your growth, your inner self must have been suppressed and confused. You did not receive the love of your biological parents, and many emotions may not have been allowed to be expressed in your foster parents' home. As a result, over time, you may have developed a refusal to express your own emotions. However, how should we face this? Since our origins cannot be chosen, we cannot choose what kind of parents we are born to, what kind of family we are born into. This sense of powerlessness gives us an innate sense of insecurity, making us sensitive and caring. If we do not receive proper psychological healing and growth during our development, its effects will be long-lasting. We are all ordinary people, perhaps not having a good original family. But we are the original family of the next generation. Therefore, starting from \"me,\" we need to consciously work to \"block\" intergenerational transmission. For example: ##Continuously learn and grow, become a different person from parents.##In the process of learning and growing, realize some issues that exist in parents and the family.##Recognize the marriage patterns in the family, cut off the bad patterns and prevent their \"intergenerational transmission.\"##Make good use of the limited conditions and resources currently available for growth. In the future, when you have your own family, treat your children well, not like your parents did.##Don't be trapped by your own original family, learn to find your own happiness.##Don't get caught in your own emotional traps, grow, live, and work. In the popular TV drama \"An Family\" this year, the female protagonist, Fang Sijing, was born in a remote village. Her mother strongly favored boys over girls, and was extremely demanding and selfish, only caring about making money to support the family and buying a house for her younger brother. When she was still in the cradle, she was almost abandoned by her mother and left to die in a deep well, but she was fortunately rescued and raised by her grandfather. Fortunately, she was loved by her grandfather. After being exploited by her mother for many years, she decided to bravely be herself...... Bless you. I am here, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! OP, seeing your experiences, I feel really sad and want to give you a hug. Throughout our upbringing, we have always longed for care and attention, and I can understand how you feel. In your senior year of high school, when you experienced physical discomfort and told your mom, you were hoping to receive her care, but you didn't get the response you wanted. First of all, as an outsider, I don't know the personality traits or qualities of your parents, so it is not convenient or appropriate for me to judge their series of responses to you. But what I want to say is that maybe due to the limited education of your parents' generation, they don't know how to communicate with their children or how to educate them. There is a certain generation gap between us and our parents. So we should also be able to understand some of their behaviors that we consider unfavorable (like your dad's previous questioning). It's not their fault, as there are differences in their thinking compared to ours. They received limited education back then. Secondly, I want to advise you not to reject expressing your emotions and not to suppress yourself, otherwise, it's easy to develop psychological problems. Looking back at the series of unpleasant experiences you had with your mom since elementary school, have you ever proactively asked your mom why she didn't care about you when you said you were uncomfortable? Why did she think you were pretending when you said you were uncomfortable? I think the alienation that occurred is not solely due to one-sided reasons. OP, you should also reflect on your own behavior (of course, here I don't mean to blame you, I hope you won't misunderstand). Communication is the key to effectively solving problems. Openly talk to your parents about the issues that have been a burden on your heart for many years. Of course, you need to control your emotions, stay calm, and constantly remind yourself (they have different ways of thinking, so understand and stay calm). Life is long, and we will all encounter many unpleasant things, that's unavoidable. But we have to learn to handle these emotions ourselves, don't suppress or avoid them. You can confide in your close friends, go for a run, have a good meal (eating out of sorrow), find a place where no one's around and have a good cry or shout into an open space, etc. OP, you can choose a way to vent based on your own situation, but the prerequisite is not to cause trouble or harm to others. After venting, it's a fresh start, remember to give yourself a big smile. You need to actively tell yourself, \"Life is long, what you're experiencing now is just a small part of it, no need to dwell on it too much.\" Let the past be the past, dwelling on past hardships is only tormenting your present self and causing harm to your future self. Whether you feel comfortable or not depends on a single thought. As long as you don't mind and let go, you will feel relaxed. Focus on the present and consider your future is what we should think about. If you're feeling lost, I suggest you calm down and read books. I used to be easily troubled by emotions or unwanted things, feeling very uncomfortable and aggrieved. But as I read more books, I realized that there's nothing major, it was just that I wasn't letting it go. I've also had many periods of confusion, but whenever I felt lost, I would start by doing the current tasks well. In my spare time, I would keep reading books. Slowly, you will start thinking about the future and won't have time to indulge in random thoughts or be unhappy all the time. So, finally, I want to tell you, regardless of what happens, don't have thoughts of ending your life, make sure to take good care of yourself and learn to cherish yourself (if others don't care about you, care about yourself, be assertive). Communicate and interact with others more often, always wear a smile on your face, and over time, you will become a different person. Believe me hehehehe. Well... in conclusion, I hope my above narrative can console you a little bit, and I look forward to seeing the positive changes in you hehehehe, wishing you well!!!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the original poster: No parents are perfect, and during our growth process, we will inevitably experience various influences from life and family. It is evident that you have a tense relationship with your mother, which can be seen from your comments: throughout your growth process, you have always been greatly influenced by your mother. Your mother's inconsistent attitude towards you, often being very domineering and lacking the appropriate relationship with you, has created a serious estrangement within you. The pain from your original family can sometimes encounter generational curses. If you have the opportunity to understand your mother's childhood experiences, perhaps you will find that she is actually a very pitiful person. The child who is most deeply affected by their parents is usually the one closest to them, regardless of whether your attitude towards your mother is tense or loving. She must have spent a lot of time with you, influencing a large part of your life. However, despite the fact that the original family can have a long-lasting impact on a person's life, there are still ways to change it. It may be helpful to recognize the current situation. You have grown up and can confidently break free from the influence of your parents. At this moment, you are yourself, already a person with independent thinking. Perhaps view your mother as a child who never grew up deep inside. After all, she will also gradually grow old. Let the past be the past. If it is difficult to free yourself from hostile emotions towards your mother, you can also try to seek help from a therapist and find someone to guide you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing this numbered question and the entire prompt, my heart really aches for you. Hugs and I hope to bring you some warmth. I know the problem is not over yet, this is just a part of it. Let's first review the content of this part, and you can check if it's correct. First, you didn't go home this year, and your dad came to see you yesterday. Second, dad came, but communication wasn't smooth. He doesn't understand you or your situation, which makes you very distressed. Third, mom's emotions have always been unstable, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Fourth, mom is always impatient when you need her. Fifth, you \"hate\" mom because she has caused you a lot of pain. Since the problem is not over yet, let's analyze and answer it together after reading it later. Don't worry, you are not alone no matter what problem you encounter. No matter if it's someone familiar or unfamiliar, you will always find someone to accompany you. So, don't be afraid.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7646
       },
       {
        "question": "Just started college and feeling lost, not sure what to do with myself. I'm introverted and afraid of making eye contact.",
        "description": "I was very confused when I first started college, not knowing what to do, feeling very bored. Moreover, I don't have any old friends in this school, and I am introverted by nature, not good at and not particularly fond of socializing. I am afraid of eye contact and easily feel inferior. Can I seek advice for this kind of problem?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, student growth, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It feels like your expression is more like, is this normal for you? My answer is yes, it's normal! I am just like you, initially an introverted person who doesn't dare to make eye contact with others or engage in social activities. I prefer being alone and find life boring, but I also have to interact with people. This confusion used to make me feel very uncomfortable and miserable. However, I had to face this kind of life and live like a zombie every day. Later, by chance, I started to learn about psychology. I find psychology to be a fascinating subject. It's different from other subjects as there isn't one correct answer; it allows for personal interpretations and understanding, and offers a way to explain the world and things happening around us from our own perspectives. Psychology seems to have given me wings like Dumbo, allowing me to gradually overcome my fears, anxieties, timidity, and insecurities. I learned to adapt to my surroundings and interact with others at my own pace and in my own way. Now, I have become more courageous and can communicate with others, comfortably enjoy my own company, have conversations with others, and observe discussions from a detached perspective. Most importantly, I feel a sense of calmness in my heart. I am no longer panic-stricken, lost, or feel inadequate. I can live life with a carefree attitude. So, I suggest that you also learn some psychology. Focus on the knowledge that you think can help you and gradually, you will understand that this world doesn't have as many limitations as we believe. Most of the limitations come from our own insecurities, sensitivity, fears, and aversions. I hope my answer is helpful to you. You are loved by me and the world.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand your feelings, sending you a virtual hug~\nThe main target audience for psychological counseling is generally healthy individuals or those with psychological problems. It is different from extremely healthy individuals and the main target of psychological treatment. So, facing your current issue, if you have the subjective desire to seek counseling, you are completely capable of participating in it. Feeling confused and unsure while in college is quite normal. However, this state also requires your attention, and you may want to find ways to change this sense of confusion. Feeling inferior and afraid to make eye contact with others may hinder your ability to express your needs and establish good social relationships. From this perspective, seeking appropriate psychological counseling can greatly help you improve this issue. If conditions allow, you can consider seeking counseling. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5817
       },
       {
        "question": "My wife left suddenly without any warning, What should I do if my wife runs away?",
        "description": "What should I do if my wife suddenly left without any warning? Ah, all these years of simplicity, I just feel...",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! In this situation, it is false to say that one is not nervous or anxious, but being nervous or anxious does not help to find one's wife. It is possible to consider contacting her family or friends to understand the situation and see if they are aware of it, and then choose to report to the police. However, such a sudden event also serves as a warning to the OP. Why did his wife run away? How did he view and treat her in the marriage? What has she done to the family, and what has the OP done to her? These are questions that the OP needs to deeply reflect on. For her, escaping from this family may be a need in her heart or she may feel extremely repressed, especially when facing the OP. Therefore, the OP really needs to consider the above-mentioned questions. Once these issues are clarified and resolved, the two can sit down calmly and discuss and resolve the issues between them when she comes back. This will make her feel that the  OP cares for her and loves her more, and staying with the OP is safer, more secure, and more comfortable. Then, she won't need to run away anymore and they can peacefully and happily live together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15389
       },
       {
        "question": "How to deal with a friend who has obsessive-compulsive disorder?",
        "description": "She has an exaggerated obsession with cleanliness, not only controlling herself but also constantly pointing out and criticizing others. As a roommate, I don't know how to get along with her.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates, classmates, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, when it comes to people you live with day and night, it may require a compromising attitude, where you need to compromise to some extent while also making yourself comfortable. From your description, it is clear that you are feeling frustrated and helpless about your roommate's strong obsession with cleanliness and the demands she has for both of you. You can try communicating with her first, set some boundaries for living together, and establish a level of cleanliness that is acceptable to both parties. You shouldn't just accommodate and tolerate blindly because you will be the one suffering. For example, you can clean the dorm floor on a rotating basis according to her requirements, but each person should have the freedom to choose how they keep their personal area tidy, such as their desks and beds. Even if it makes her feel uncomfortable or \"eye-catching,\" she needs to overcome it herself. By setting these \"three rules,\" include all the details of your living arrangements because the more detailed the \"rules\" are, the smoother things will go, and it will help save you a lot of trouble. This is a better approach for both parties involved. When conflicts arise due to cleanliness issues, it is crucial to have some sense of tolerance because changing someone else's established habits is much more difficult than changing your own thoughts and behaviors in the moment. Although you may have established agreements and compromises, conflicts may still arise. In those moments, try to consider the situation from the other person's perspective, which will help you stay calm. For instance, she is addressing the cleanliness of the environment, not targeting you personally. If it were someone else, they might also receive \"pointers.\" Once you recognize this, you will feel much more at ease. When you want to persuade her to be less obsessed with cleanliness, pay attention to your words and attitude. Do not let her feel like you are questioning her lifestyle, instead approach it from a caring standpoint, emphasizing that it will save her time, and so on. This might yield better results. When living under the same roof, everyone has their flaws and quirks. It's important to focus on their good side more and try to develop the relationship in a positive and united direction. This is essential for your friendship and living experience. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19977
       },
       {
        "question": "Do people with depression have particularly fragile hearts?",
        "description": "Doesn't a little setback in your heart make you unhappy? Even though it's just a small matter, it will keep lingering in your mind and can't be shaken off.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ It is a common misconception that people with depression are simply emotionally fragile. The causes of depression are complex, and the diagnosis is intricate. The phrase \"emotionally fragile\" cannot explain it at all, and it is not advisable to label people in this way. Feeling unhappy after a minor setback may be due to being more sensitive in personality or having a weaker ability to cope with adversity. Additionally, occasionally feeling unhappy is normal and does not necessarily indicate depression. It is also common for small things to linger in our minds because the more we try to forget something, the harder it becomes to forget. It is recommended to objectively analyze and evaluate a situation from a cognitive perspective.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           },
           {
            "start": 201,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8670
       },
       {
        "question": "Life committee member, class monitor borrowed class funds and hasn't returned them? What should I do?",
        "description": "I want to talk about something that has been bothering me. I am the class monitor in charge of class funds. Last November, a girl in my dormitory who is also the class president asked me to lend her a few thousand yuan from the class funds. We don't have a good relationship as there are only four of us in the dormitory. However, I readily lent her the money, thinking she would return it quickly. But it has been six months now, and yesterday when I asked her for the money, she just said she remembered but didn't mention when she would repay. Her response seemed reluctant and unwilling. I feel even worse now because our relationship was already not good, and asking her for the money will only make it worse. I feel really upset and don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflicts, deception and trust.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in light of the fact that the monitor and the author are roommates in the same dormitory, the author must be afraid that urging too much will worsen the relationship. My suggestion is that the author should not press too much, but also should not refrain from urging completely. If the author feels awkward to ask verbally, it is worth trying to use communication tools such as text messages or WeChat to reduce a significant psychological burden. As for how to urge, my advice is to be straightforward, but refrain from using an aggressive tone, and give the other person some respect and room to retreat. You can express that if there are any difficulties in repaying the money on time, she can directly talk to you. If she is willing to express her true feelings, even if the money hasn't been repaid yet, the author will feel a little better. If the other person is simply evading repayment and the author clearly understands this from her language, then the author hopes to request the help of the class teacher and other dormmates to persuade her together. Finally, as a dormitory committee member, I suggest that the author avoid lending large amounts of money to prevent unnecessary accidents. Perhaps my method may not be acceptable to the author, and I apologize for that. I wish the author a quick resolution to the problem!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ From the description given by the OP, I understand that on one hand, the OP hopes to recover the class fund as soon as possible, but on the other hand, they also worry that this may strain their relationship with the other person, which makes them feel confused. Firstly, regarding the borrowed money, several thousand is not a small amount, and more importantly, it belongs to the class fund, which is collective property, not something owned by the OP or the class leader personally. Therefore, the OP should carefully consider and try to avoid using the class fund for personal purposes in the future. As for the class leader, the OP is correct in repeatedly requesting the money to be returned. If ordinary verbal reminders are not effective, we can try involving some authoritative figures, such as a teacher. We can tell the other person that the teacher is planning to use this class fund and needs her to return it as soon as possible and give it to the teacher. Or we can find other reasons to make the class leader realize that this class fund is public property. If the OP finds that the class leader still refuses to return the money, it may be necessary to report it to the teacher as soon as possible, depending on the actual situation. This is not a \"betrayal\" towards that girl, but rather protection for both the OP and her. After all, everyone is still a student, and matters related to public property should be handled by the teacher. We can communicate this to that girl in advance as well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in your post, you mentioned that you have a not-so-good relationship with your roommate and you lent her class fees. In this situation, it might be difficult to recover the money. First, did you openly discuss the class fees and have her write an IOU? If so, this matter can be easily resolved. Secondly, if no IOU was written, you can explain the situation to your class teacher and ask for their help. Additionally, you can have a heart-to-heart conversation with your close friends about this matter. There is always a solution to every problem, so don't lose heart and keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12852
       },
       {
        "question": "23-year-old male, always wanted to have an older sister who I can confide in and who cares about me.",
        "description": "I am quite introverted by nature and I really wish I had a sister who could care for me and take care of me. This desire has been getting stronger and stronger. I have been feeling very down emotionally and have a mediocre relationship with my parents. I really don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and the process of growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Yes, questioner. When one's inner strength falters, they long for a source of strength. Now, why do you hope for an older sister instead of a younger one? It's because in your heart, an older sister is someone who can offer support, whereas a younger sister would require you to give support. So, please pay attention to this signal. The term \"maturity,\" in its original meaning, refers to a seed sprouting and growing into a seedling, eventually bearing more seeds. Only mature seeds have the ability to contain the energy of life. As for why you can no longer obtain the strength you desire from your parents, it's because you have grown to a stage where your energy is equal to theirs. You are now like a robust corn stalk and your parents are the gradually withering straw; if you were a lamb frolicking on the ground, then your parents would be elderly sheep with slow footsteps. From now on, tell yourself, \"I have grown up, I have matured. Not only do I need to give myself strength, but I also need to give strength to my family.\" Real men should be strong pillars of support. It is only through such thoughts that there is hope for the future, hope for the family, and honor for the lineage.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20664
       },
       {
        "question": "Life is so difficult and exhausting. There is no one in the world who can truly understand and empathize with me, right?",
        "description": "I was born in 1997. After graduation, I started my own business, but due to personal reasons, I mismanaged it and accumulated a lot of debt. I've talked to my family three times and they have given me a total of 30,000 yuan, but there is still the lingering issue of online loans. I originally planned to pay it off slowly with my salary, but unexpected incidents keep happening, like ankle fractures and company policy changes, which have derailed my plans. My family is an ordinary one and there is no one capable enough to help me. I'm afraid to tell my girlfriend because it might lead to a breakup. Recently, her family also wants a house for the wedding. I really can't bear it anymore. I have fewer and fewer friends around me, and my home is no longer a safe haven. I'm starting to fear being at home, afraid of social interaction, and scared that I will see the sun rise the next day. I'm only in my early twenties, how come my dream is simply to be an ordinary person who lives a carefree life in the sunshine? I'm truly exhausted. If I could live to see the first snowfall of the season, I think I would be very happy. Good night, world.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, depressed mood, panic and helplessness, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand very well the despair and difficulties you faced in your failed entrepreneurial venture, and I'm also glad that you can honestly express your helplessness. Accepting your failure is the first step to moving forward. How likely is it to easily make a fortune and achieve wealth without any obstacles? Young man, you were born in 1997, at the age of 23, and those years are priceless. Your experiences are rare, and you should know that you are already rich enough and outstanding enough. Take some time to read biographies of famous people, like Jack Ma, and see the journey he has gone through. The snowy winter is beautiful, and the autumn sky is refreshing, they are equally beautiful. Go out, observe, learn, reflect upon yourself, and improve yourself. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many people have been infected and lost their lives; many others have found business opportunities; and many are helping others! As long as we are alive, anything is possible. Cherish the present moment and invest in yourself. Believe that you will stand up again and encounter a better version of yourself.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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            "start": 0,
            "end": 35,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
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           },
           {
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            "start": 137,
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           {
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           {
            "start": 184,
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        ],
        "questionID": 8914
       },
       {
        "question": "Graduated from a vocational college, feeling like my life is at its lowest point, is there still a possibility to turn things around?",
        "description": "I am 25 years old, graduated from a vocational college majoring in accounting. I come from a divorced family and was raised by my aunt. I haven't obtained an accounting certificate. Currently, I work as a waiter. For a long time, I was in a state where I couldn't work in an office and didn't want to be a waiter. I don't like being criticized by my boss and I'm afraid of being fired. It may be related to being harshly criticized by my previous supervisor and being deeply rejected in a romantic relationship. Now I seem to have entered into a dilemma, both psychologically and professionally. Psychologically, I can't let go of the hurt from the past rejection. Professionally, being physically exhausted from being a waiter is secondary. The main issue is that this job doesn't give me a sense of value and self-worth. Working from 9 am to 9 pm doing physical labor makes me only want to rest and I have no interest in studying accounting. This way, I can't change or switch industries. My family says I wasted my education and that I'm useless because I don't choose to do anything. When I was in school, my grades were very poor, and my aunt forced me to study. Slowly I also accepted it and later my academic performance improved. I feel like I am very worthless. I always need someone to push me to make progress. I want to ask how to face the difficulties in life and psychology, and how to find inner peace?",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, work pressure, work fatigue.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "At this moment, you may feel the most confused and in pain, and it's also difficult for you. But don't lose faith. At the age of 25, you are still relatively young and can strive in the workplace. This stage is about building a foundation and cultivating your abilities. Income may not be the most important thing. What matters is whether you have set goals in your career at this stage, whether you have a reasonable plan, and what direction you want to take in the future. I have a good friend who had a very clear goal. She aimed to become a civil servant for stability, and it took her five years from the age of 22 to 27 to eventually succeed. During those five years, she worked odd jobs to earn a living and used her spare time to study, dedicating all her energy to the exams. During that time, her monthly income was only a couple thousand yuan. After passing the civil service exam, her income and benefits became much more stable, and she now leads a comfortable life. Therefore, you can also carefully think about what you want to do in the future, whether you want to learn a specific skill and develop yourself, or aim to become a civil servant or work for a government institution for a stable life. All of these require thorough consideration. Once you have figured it out, just work hard to face your life. As long as you make efforts, believe that everything will get better in the future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Life is like a roller coaster, requiring enough motivation to get us to the top of the mountain. 1. In fact, there have always been people accompanying us throughout the years, and that person is ourselves. For many students, studying is indeed a painful thing, but it is never too late to learn skills. The saying \"greatness comes with age\" may apply to us. As for why we need others to push us forward, it is because changing ourselves is not an easy task. If there is no external force, we need internal motivation. And which one do we lean towards more? Although we have experienced failures, it doesn't mean that we won't stand up again. It's just that this process requires us to change. The service industry does not require a high level of technicality, and it has high turnover and substituteability. Therefore, we need to slowly find our own value. As long as we don't give up, there is hope in life, because we are our own biggest enemy. 2. Learn to face our own problems. If we have tried our best but have failed, then we can look for the reasons behind our failure. If we haven't even tried our best, then it is deserved to be criticized, after all, we and the boss are mutually beneficial. If we don't do well, we won't be appreciated. Therefore, we should not be afraid of how harsh our own problems might sound, because the person pointing out our problems indeed hopes that we can make some changes. It's like when a person is beyond help, we would tell them: eat whatever you want, and when a person can still be saved, we would tell them: these are the things you can't eat. Time is definitely squeezed out. Since we have a certain foundation, why not get the bartender license first? Don't care too much about other people's evaluations because they don't know what we want. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Please allow me, who is much older than you, to give you a hug. I want to tell you that you can do it, you just don't believe in your own strength. You need to learn to believe, that belief is powerful and everyone has unlimited potential. If you are not satisfied with the current situation, can you try harder? I am in a similar situation as you now, if you don't push yourself, you will end up like me, with nothing. Actually, deep down inside, we all have a feeling of unwillingness, but we are often scared away by our own timidness. Although it's said that achievers come from every field, but truly, only through acquiring knowledge can we change ourselves. If you are dissatisfied with your boss, resent your work, or long for an intimate relationship, complaining alone is not enough. Make an effort every day, even a small step. Actually, we are all accustomed to seeking help from the outside world, asking others for advice on what we should do, but even if others' advice is good, it is meaningless if we don't take action. Everything depends on our inner drive. As long as we believe in ourselves, believe that we can do it, and are willing to make an effort, everything will turn out fine. You are still young now, and if you improve yourself at this time, you will break out of your cocoon. The world will become more colorful because of your efforts. Life will also become more meaningful. Come on! Young one, seize the tail of your youth, you are the best!!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6606
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old male, my mother extremely dislikes me using skincare products.",
        "description": "When I was very young (around seven or eight years old), whenever I applied face cream or hand cream, she would have a strong reaction. As I grew older, using skincare products became even worse... I received intense disdain from my own mother on this matter... We often end up arguing about these issues. I even wonder if she had some kind of experience that caused such a reaction. I don't think it's wrong for boys to care for their skin; on the contrary, I think it's worth promoting and I take it very seriously myself. I don't want to sneak around as if I'm doing something shameful. Maybe it's not me who has a psychological problem; maybe she should see a mental health specialist. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, give you a warm hug. According to your description, your mother is very opposed to you, as a boy, using skincare products. However, at the same time, Phil wants to remind you that both your thoughts and your mother's thoughts are fine. So your sentence \"Is it not me who has a psychological problem, should she go see a psychologist?\" actually puts the other person in a state of having a problem that needs to be corrected, just like your mother. In this state, holding on to one's own views will only exacerbate the contradiction and make it difficult to resolve the issue. As for the issue of men using skincare products, traditional beliefs have deeply influenced society. Many people still believe that only girls use makeup and skincare products, and that it's unnecessary and even effeminate for a \"tough guy.\" However, with the deepening of gender equality awareness, just as some people emphasize feminism, there are also people who emphasize men's rights and avoiding biases. One of these rights is that men also have the right to use makeup and skincare products because taking care of oneself is not gender-specific. Therefore, Phil believes that your perspective is valid. Let's talk about your mother's perspective. Your mother's strong aversion to this matter may be due to a combination of reasons. Firstly, when you were young, you used to apply face cream and hand cream to yourself, which may have seemed \"outrageous\" to your mother. Moreover, not just boys, but most girls of your age would likely be scolded for such behaviors, labeled as \"makeup is bad\" or \"at such a young age, all you care about is dressing up,\" or even told that \"you have good skin, you don't need skincare\" or \"these products are dangerous, they are medicines, you can't touch them,\" and so on. This form of education where parents are in control can subtly influence children, making them unable to engage in behaviors that may seem strange to their parents or society, even though those behaviors may not be wrong and may simply be unacceptable to the majority. Secondly, she may have been influenced by the thoughts of the time she grew up in. As the saying goes, there is a generation gap every three years. Sometimes, communication with middle or high school students or even younger children can be quite frustrating, let alone our parents who grew up in a different era. They may not have encountered or even dared to think about many things. So misunderstandings are normal. Maybe skincare products were very precious to your mother's generation, and she may have also been influenced by the idea that men cannot engage in \"feminine\" behaviors. Or maybe she can't understand why her child would do such a thing and wonders if there is something going on in your mind. The specific reasons can only be guessed. -- Resolution strategy -- Expressing your thoughts and opinions is not only beneficial for yourself but also helpful in changing your mother's perspective. There are many things in modern society that require our parents to understand and accept. As children, it is our duty to take on the role of \"teacher.\" Or, to be a little selfish, if our parents can accept these things, we can also avoid a lot of trouble. So don't avoid the topic just because it always leads to unpleasantness. Instead, guide and express your views correctly, just as you said, it is not wrong for boys to take care of their skin. When communicating with your mother, try to remember the reasons for each disagreement. Is it because you simply don't want to bring up the topic, or both sides believe they are right and try to convince each other, or one party's words are too extreme and lead to arguments, or there are incompatible beliefs that are hard to accept? If it happens only once or twice, it may be a coincidence or mishandling, but if it happens frequently, it is more likely that one or both individuals have a problem. So when communicating with your mother, also pay attention to whether you have any problems or instances of excessive behavior. Try to empathize and understand your mother's perspective, rather than just standing in your own shoes. Soft tactics may not be necessary, it's a way to ease the situation, just as you said, there may be something happening to your mother or it may simply be that there is no way to communicate and compromise. In that case, you can use this tactic \u2013 using products secretly. Out of sight, out of mind. Naturally, your mother won't look for trouble, but this is a strategy that tends to avoid the problem and ultimately isn't ideal. So Phil doesn't really recommend it. I hope my answer can help you (\uff65\u03c9\uff65)\uff89.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend. Personally, I appreciate boys who pay attention to their appearance and are willing to admit that they take care of their skin. One thing that must be emphasized is that skincare is not limited to gender. Anyone can do it as long as they are willing. It is unfair to assume that only girls dress up and only girls wear makeup. The rougher a guy looks, the more attractive he is, these are all stereotypes. The conflict between you and your mother seems to stem from her lack of approval for your skincare routine. This kind of conflict is not uncommon and can be attributed to generational gaps and societal factors. 1. Differences in perception between different generations often lead to conflicts. Skincare is just one example. 2. Society as a whole still holds certain biases when it comes to gender. 3. In your mother's generation, there may be a lack of acceptance not only for men taking care of their skin, but also for women who enjoy dressing up. 4. There's no need to convince someone with a different viewpoint. Stand your ground and accept that she has her own perspective, even if it differs from yours. 5. Your choice to take care of your skin is not wrong, just as your mother's dislike of men taking care of their skin is not wrong. These are simply personal choices. In short, if you like oranges and she prefers apples, there's no problem. However, she shouldn't force you to like apples, and you shouldn't expect her to like oranges. You should continue taking care of your skin if you enjoy it, and she can continue being unhappy if she disagrees. These are individual matters. As for the conflicts and discomfort they may cause, here are some suggestions: 1. Accept the reality that this issue may cause ongoing conflicts between you. 2. It is her opposition and her unhappiness, which is her issue. You can choose to be angry or not let it affect you. It depends on your own decision. Dealing with this kind of conflict with a stranger is simpler, just ignore them and keep your distance. But she is your mother and it's impossible to cut ties completely. When it comes to dealing with conflicts with your loved ones, there are some techniques you can use, such as: 1. When the atmosphere is good, gently discuss gender stereotypes and educate your mother on the topic, but evaluate her receptiveness first. If it will cause greater conflicts, then stop. 2. Talk more about the benefits of men's skincare, such as reducing skin diseases and cancer. Prolonged exposure to sunlight can easily lead to skin problems. Nowadays, air pollution and high population density are more likely to cause skin allergies. Skincare can protect the health of the skin and maintain a clean and comfortable appearance, which is conducive to life, work, and study. It also helps in acquiring more opportunities for development and improves interpersonal relationships. 3. Share skincare experiences with your mother and use your own experiences to help her become more beautiful. Everyone likes to look better. 4. Provide more examples. If there are other male examples around you, talk about them more. If you have gained certain conveniences or avoided certain problems because of skincare, share those experiences with her. Basically, sometimes older people just need to be comforted. Having a confrontation often leads to both parties getting angry. As long as you are sure that this is something you like, then continue doing it. It doesn't matter whether or not others accept it, that's their problem, not yours. I hope the above will be helpful to you. Keep being a clean and beautiful person. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Maybe your mother prefers boys with rough lines and not so attentive to their appearance, after all, there is an age difference, and the aesthetic and views of men by women from every era will definitely be different. Each generation is limited by the times, you can ask your mother what she used when she was young, what skincare products your grandmother used when she was young, and isn't your era filled with a dazzling array of options? Furthermore, you are probably still a student, and your mother may pay more attention to your personal appearance, whether you want to attract girls' attention, whether it will affect your studies, whether skincare will waste too much time, and other related concerns. And humans tend to project themselves onto others, so if she thinks skincare is \"bad behavior,\" she will definitely worry: others will think the same. She may worry that others will say, \"Oh, why did you raise a boy who cares about skincare?\" She may also worry about external evaluations like this. Another possibility is that the conflict over skincare issues with her makes parents think thoughts like: the child is rebellious, I have lost control over the child. The child has grown wings and doesn't listen to me anymore... and so on, leading to feelings of disappointment and anger. For children, developing independent awareness and voicing their own opinions is a compulsory lesson. For parents, learning to acknowledge that their child has grown up, gradually letting go, and respecting their child's own choices so that the child can grow according to their own wishes (rather than the parents' expectations) is also a compulsory lesson. If the two sides cannot synchronize, then conflicts will naturally arise. So, you don't need to hide or try to change your parents, and you certainly don't need to change yourself. You just need to change your \"pinpoint against the wheat\" attitude to \"gentle words around the fingers.\" For example, you can say to your mother, \"Who made me not naturally beautiful like you? I have to take good care of my skin to catch up to your good skin and look more like your clean and beautiful child. By the way, my friend said after seeing you the other day, he thought I was so lucky to have inherited your good skin. He had no idea how hard I work every day for that compliment. You see, with my good skin, when you take me out, don't you have more face too? If I let myself go, with acne all over my face, would you still want to go out with me? And hey, how about I get a part-time job and use the money to buy you some gloves or lip balm? I want to thank you for your years of sacrifice and constructive criticism. Take some time to pay attention to mom, share your skincare experience with her, help her choose a lipstick color... Your mother is just a woman, and women naturally require a little thought and sweet talking. Once you sweet talk her, she might happily pay for your next skincare set.\"",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 2196
       },
       {
        "question": "26-year-old male with a 3-year college degree, recovered from a car accident, currently feeling anxious and uncertain about career choices.",
        "description": "From a young age, my father exerted some pressure on me. I stayed behind for a few years, obedient, kind-hearted, and worked hard in my studies. I spoke well but struggled with interpersonal relationships and didn't know how to handle them at the time. At the age of 12, I was involved in a deadly car accident. I had just started junior high school and was insisting on transferring to another class because I felt the teacher in that class wasn't good, which now seems ridiculous. I underwent multiple major surgeries in Nanjing and Shanghai, and during that time, I felt that my parents still loved me a lot. They didn't speak ill of me in front of others as they did when I was younger. After a year of recuperation (at that time my arm and leg were broken, my skull hadn't been repaired, and my eye had blood clots), when the Chinese New Year came, I returned home from the basement of Nanjing Drum Tower Hospital. I lay in bed every day, unable to move, depressed and insecure, with self-attacking thoughts in my mind. I even contemplated suicide and expressed such ideas to my mother, but all she said was not to think nonsense. Relatives even talked about giving birth to a sister for me, which made me feel abandoned. It was extremely, extremely painful. My father always talked about how good teachers, government officials, and doctors were, so I studied hard and even endured verbal bullying. I worked hard even when I couldn't understand math and physics in the second semester. When I told my father about being bullied, he said they were just passing by and that I should focus on studying. The key was when I was in the eighth grade, I watched my mother's belly gradually grow bigger, and that family ties...",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, growth process, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "That kind of family relationship, you can imagine, full of resentment. I worked hard, endured it. I wasn't good at high school math, so I studied hard. My interpersonal relationship was also not good, very poor. I only knew how to study hard. My mother loved me very much. I loved her too when my younger brother was born. I often brought him things to eat. At that time, I often got angry with my mother on weekends. After accumulating emotions for six years, they finally exploded!!! I couldn't study anymore at the end of the first semester of my senior year. I was anxious. Until I met this psychologist, I had counseling once a week and vented my years of suffering. I took medication and finally got through the college entrance examination smoothly and was admitted to a junior college. The head teacher even said that I performed beyond expectations in the exam. In college, I was still troubled by interpersonal relationships. I wanted to be a monitor and change myself. I became one, but there was competition with another talented person in the dormitory and the dormitory relationship was terrible. There were only a few good friends in the class. I worked hard for three years to study professional knowledge, but I had average talent, nothing great. The interpersonal relationship in the class was bad, and I didn't consider things thoroughly, but there was no problem with my character. This is the key point. After graduation, I found a job and worked in my major for one year, it was in the reception department. In a company with three people, I was not valued and I switched jobs to a large company for an internship for a month. When I came back home to rest, I had a consultation session, and it was always with this psychologist, without interruption during the summer and winter vacations in college. She meant to say that I had no self and would never succeed. Outside, I would only end up hitting my head and bleeding. She suggested that I go home and work in a well-known catering industry first, work for a year, and find myself. I felt extremely uncomfortable. After all, she saved me. I resigned, and my supervisor didn't understand it either. In a small city in Northern Jiangsu, what can I do with this major? There is no way, I said. I will settle down for a year first. I went for consultations twice, and after six months, he said that I went from kindergarten to about the second grade, not as outstanding and ambitious as before. Perhaps there was some truth to it. I have another four months before the first year is up, and I started a relationship. After breaking up (after one year), I told him, and he meant that I still didn't have the qualifications or ability to have a relationship. The only goal this year was to be steady as the doctor said, and I was also conflicted during the relationship. I was worried about wasting this year, and the breakup was also suggested by the doctor. I followed through with the relationship for half a year at the time. Two months before the outbreak, I was forced to resign, anxiously looking for a job. I made phone calls for two months in an educational institution, wanting to do sales, just to have a transition period, and then venture out after the Chinese New Year. Due to the epidemic, everything was disrupted. I resigned on March 17th. I originally thought I could find a pharmaceutical representative job, but I didn't succeed. I spent three months anxiously looking for a job, and in the end, my father suggested that I work as a property manager. He said it had prospects. I'm not adapting at all. It has been two months. I'm looking for a job online, and I'm extremely anxious. I'm not confident in working in my major, and the salary is 3500. I have to start from scratch, and it's in another city. Being a pharmaceutical representative is not that easy either. The period of dividends may have passed, but it's still profitable. I thought about selling the house, but I also wanted to take the civil service exam or work in a public institution as a teacher, but they all require full-time commitment, and I only have a junior college degree. Working as a property manager is the first development project in the local area, with development prospects. It only takes three years to earn 5000. But I have to deal with all sorts of trivial matters every day, almost working overtime every day to collect property fees. It feels very uncomfortable. Now I wake up very early every day. I worked hard to read books in college, but now I can't continue. I am very grateful to the psychologist for helping me get through that period of anxiety in my senior year. I also have a pessimistic gene in my bones. Now I just want help in choosing a career. I also asked this question last time, but in the end, the one who can implement the solution is only myself. I request your good advice. God has been very kind to me. I survived a major disaster! But I'm in a lot of pain right now! I'm not here to elicit sympathy. I just want to be a happier ordinary person. I'm sorry to trouble you, teachers.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16863
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling guilty, I told my friends that I had to work overtime because I wanted some alone time.",
        "description": "Wanting to be alone to think and study, friends need company, but feeling guilty when saying to work overtime, is it okay to do this?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friendships, deception and trust, empathy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I completely understand your feelings and also understand why you chose to do this. However, this approach is not ideal because it is essentially deception. In this situation, you can actually be honest with them and explain that you have been going through some difficult times and just need some time alone. Then, you can agree on a specific time to spend with them later. I believe the other person will understand. Of course, I also understand that you chose to say this because you didn't want to hurt their feelings by ignoring them. You thought that giving them the impression that you didn't want to talk to them might damage your friendship. But lying can lead to many problems. When you lie unintentionally, you might use the same approach in the future. With more lies, your relationship will become very artificial. Moreover, after telling one lie, you will need to tell more lies to cover it up. Also, now you are feeling guilty because of the lie. I truly believe that you didn't mean it and maybe you just didn't know how to express yourself. However, honesty is crucial in a friendship. So next time, be an honest person.",
          "has_label": true,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7914
       },
       {
        "question": "I fell in love with him because of one action, and it feels really wonderful.",
        "description": "But after getting to know him better, I realized that I didn't like this kind of person at all, he's definitely not what I want. However, I still feel a flutter in my heart for him and want to see him. What is love, is this what love feels like?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, being single, and having a crush.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Two options: one is to leave him, give up on him because you don't like him, and continuing the relationship will only lead to disappointment. That wouldn't be good, so it's best to cut losses. The second option is to continue the relationship, getting to know him better. Perhaps your dislike for him will change and you will start to appreciate him more. Even the parts you don't like might turn into something you enjoy. Therefore, without deepening the relationship, it's hard to say if it's suitable or not. You need to understand and further develop the relationship to know how things will turn out. As for how you will choose, it depends on what you value in your heart. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 15927
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do as a child if my loved one may have bipolar disorder?",
        "description": "In the past few years, there was only a slight tendency towards depression. About three years ago, the condition gradually worsened. At first, it was thought to be influenced by diabetes. In the past few months, strong suicidal tendencies and even a desire to harm others have emerged when angry. When not angry, he is like an ordinary person. Now he believes that he is a failure and thinks that our family does not understand or respect him. As an underage child, I dare not directly force him to seek medical help. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, behavioral abnormalities.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for your trust and invitation. I understand that as the child of someone who has bipolar disorder, you must be going through a tough time. First, here's a strong handshake for you! In the past few years, there were only slight signs of depression. However, about three years ago, the condition gradually worsened. Initially, it was thought to be a side effect of diabetes, but in recent months, there have been intense suicidal tendencies and even a desire to harm others when experiencing anger. Do you remember the events and reasons that triggered the worsening of their condition? If you remember, it's important to avoid similar triggers in the future. Was the diagnosis of your family member's bipolar disorder confirmed at a local top-tier hospital? If so, the hospital should have prescribed some medications for treatment. Is your family member currently taking the medication as prescribed? When not experiencing anger, they are like any other person. However, now they feel like a failure and believe that their family does not understand or respect them. As an underage child, you may not want to directly force them to seek treatment. What should you do? In this context, when you mentioned that \"she feels like a failure,\" is it because of her condition or due to your family's excessive caution? Or is there another reason? Considering that your family member's condition has been confirmed, but they seem to be struggling to accept the reality, I suggest the following: 1. Try not to show a state of excessive nervousness and caution around them, as it may inadvertently add pressure. 2. Help them normalize their perception and acceptance of their condition, and foster a positive attitude towards treatment. However, be careful not to overly rely on logical reasoning and a \"it's for your own good\" communication tone. The world and I love you. I wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your confession carefully, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1. What is bipolar disorder? It is a combination of depression and mania. Treating the illness is like raising a tiger, a big tiger will definitely harm people. It is because of years of indulgence in depression that the condition has worsened and directly evolved into bipolar disorder, from self-harm to harm to others and destruction of property. 2. \"I dare not force him to seek medical treatment directly, what should I do?\" You are still young, even if you force him to seek medical treatment, he won't listen. Therefore, you need to find someone who has authority in front of your father to persuade him. Only then will he be more willing to accept it. Otherwise, in his eyes, you are just a child, your words carry no weight, and he won't be able to accept it. 3. Finally, I want to tell you the most important thing. When crossing the river, the mud Buddha only needs to help himself, not others. You are still young now, the most important thing for you is to study. Make yourself an excellent person. Only then will you have the ability to improve your family situation. Thank you for your question. May all the goodness in the world come to you as scheduled.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ I want to give you a warm hug~ I can understand your difficulty very well. If you see that your loved one may be in the current situation, you can try these methods to face or deal with it: record the situations when your loved one loses control of their emotions, you can go online and consult a doctor to understand their advice. When your loved one's emotions are stable, you can find time to communicate with them, chat about their thoughts, understand their feelings, and maybe indirectly mention their own thoughts on losing control of their emotions. At the same time, tell them that it's important to communicate with family members when they feel sad, depressed, or any other negative emotions. You can take your loved one out to relax and do something they are interested in, or take them out for a walk and some food to help relieve their mood. When their emotions are stable, you can talk to them about methods to control or vent their emotions, and you can also indirectly ask their opinion on seeing a psychiatrist. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15413
       },
       {
        "question": "My mom often hits me, and I'm thinking of using death to escape.",
        "description": "I was born into a family that was neither wealthy nor poor. My mother often beat me, sometimes harshly, but sometimes lightly, probably because I was spoiled when I was a child. Whenever my mother raised her hand, I would shrink my head. After beating me, my mother always said it was for my own good. Finally, today, I thought of using death as a way to escape. Of course, I had thought about it before, but I didn't go through with it. I don't know why, but today, after being beaten, I really wanted to die. However, I'm afraid of pain. Although I have gotten used to pain, I still have some fear. I asked on Baidu and Baidu recommended me to come here to ask. I really want to know how to die without pain.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can sense that your mother hitting you has become a psychological shadow for you. Your upbringing, family environment, and parents are all things that cannot be changed. Our growth is actually a process of slowly stepping out of these issues. Being hit may be an experience that many children have had. Once, I had a chat with a colleague who talked about her childhood experiences, which were very similar to yours. She said that when she was six or seven years old, she was often hit by her mother. After being hit, she would run outside alone and not want to go back home. She would often think of death. Therefore, it is okay for you to feel unhappy and even have thoughts of death after being hit. Having thoughts does not necessarily mean they will turn into actual actions. Thoughts are just a part of our thinking and do not define who we are. We can allow ourselves to have all kinds of thoughts, even evil, negative, or pessimistic ones. Imagine yourself as a platform and your thoughts as different vehicles. The vehicles come and go, and you can quietly observe these thoughts, but don't let them take you away. Sometimes, after seriously and carefully considering something in our minds, we won't actually do it. So if these thoughts only occur occasionally, don't be afraid. However, if you have strong suicidal thoughts and feel that it is difficult to control these impulses, then it is a good idea to see a psychologist or counselor. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16760
       },
       {
        "question": "Unable to resign, time drags on, has my depression relapsed?",
        "description": "I was diagnosed with moderate depression and severe anxiety last year. After taking medication for more than half a year, I felt my condition stabilize and I decided to stop taking medication in January this year. In August, after graduating, I found a job that I honestly dislike. I have to travel frequently for work, and the people I work with are mostly older. Since I joined, I haven't had many conversations with them, and I'm particularly bothered by the business trips. I asked my parents if I could quit, but they strongly disagreed, saying I'm too pampered to even endure this. So I never brought it up again and every day feels like an eternity. Since I started working, my mood becomes unstable when I'm alone, I cry a lot, and the \"voices\" in my head often talk to me (the doctor was aware of this when I was diagnosed, and it continued even after I stopped taking medication, but since the \"voices\" don't have malicious intent, I didn't pay much attention). I often feel like I can't breathe, it's a suffocating feeling, and I constantly think that it would be better if I had never come into this world. But at the same time, another voice in my head warns me not to think that way, that it's because I'm not strong enough that I can't even handle a regular job. Moreover, in the past couple of weeks, I have started experiencing insomnia and early morning awakening. Is it coming back to haunt me again?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, panic and helplessness, fragility and tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "1. If diagnosed with depression, you can ask the doctor to provide you with a sick leave, so that you can rest at home for a period of time. After resting, observe the changes in your emotions and consider whether you want to return to work for the financial security or if your dislike for the job has reached a point where you no longer want to continue, even without financial security. 2. You are not being too sensitive or unable to persevere, you are actually ill. It is inconsiderate for parents to say such things. Some people can adapt to certain jobs, while others are naturally unable to adapt to a particular job, and sometimes perseverance alone cannot lead to improvement. 3. Only by receiving treatment and recovering can you have a better future. Otherwise, constantly doing a job that worsens your mental and physical condition may provide temporary financial security, but in the long run, it's not worth it. Because compared to a few months or even a year's worth of wages, after recovery, you still have decades of opportunities to earn money, so there's no need to rush. 4. For individuals, necessary stress helps enhance abilities, but excessive stress can only crush a person. So while you are gradually getting better, think about what kind of work won't subject you to excessive stress. However, also remind yourself not to avoid necessary stress. Then write down your thoughts and feelings on this matter when searching for a new job or when returning to work, and discuss them with your superiors. For example: excessive stress - frequent business trips; necessary stress - lower salary, lack of peers in the work environment. Only by recognizing the difference between \"excessive stress\" and \"necessary stress\" can you avoid getting ill and avoid becoming the kind of person your parents call \"sensitive.\"",
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           {
            "start": 101,
            "end": 178,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 178,
            "end": 204,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 204,
            "end": 306,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 306,
            "end": 396,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 396,
            "end": 478,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 478,
            "end": 521,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the questioner. I saw that you said you were diagnosed with moderate depression and severe anxiety last year and had a history of taking medication. Slowly, you feel that your emotions and state have stabilized. But in the past half month, you have started to experience insomnia and early awakening, and your mood is relatively low, feeling very uncomfortable. I suspect that it might be a recurrence of depression. Seeing your current state, I also feel very worried. Moderate to severe depression does indeed have a chance of recurrence. I believe that now, more than worrying about whether you have relapsed, you hope that your family and the people around you can understand you and give you care and support. I understand that you feel agitated about business trips, and you are still in the process of recovery. The instability brought about by business trips can indeed affect your mood. Understandment and support from your family are important for you. I believe that you are also working hard to improve your state. You can try the following methods to make yourself feel better: The first method is exercise. Exercise is a good way to regulate emotions. It can increase the levels of norepinephrine and dopamine in our blood. Exercise in a scientific way, paying attention to a few things: aerobic exercise, so as not to overdraw your physical strength; moderate intensity, not too intense, sweating slightly as a standard; frequency can be small but frequent, this is most conducive to your persistence. The second is sunlight exposure. You may think this is a common method. But many people, when depressed, do not want to go out or see the sun. In fact, sunlight can stimulate the pineal gland to secrete melatonin, which is the happy hormone that makes us feel happy, and it has a certain anti-depressant effect. The third is practicing mindfulness meditation. In the process of experiencing depression, you will feel pain and discomfort, feeling that others cannot feel and understand you. I hope you can believe that there are people in this world who understand and accompany you through this difficult time and help you overcome depression.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the OP, the OP should be very young, with a long future ahead, and should consider themselves at the moment. I'm 29 years old this year. After graduating from graduate school, I joined a large company. I also didn't like the job at that time, with high pressure and intensity, completely lacking a personal life. So, in a very bad state, after working for three years, I still quit without any backup plan. After returning to my hometown from a big city, I went for a check-up and was diagnosed with moderate depression. However, I didn't take medication under the doctor's advice because I felt that I had improved by half after leaving the previous work environment. I persisted in exercising and started anew after being unemployed for three months. So don't be afraid, we still have time. What's most important now is ourselves. If we feel that the work environment is indeed affecting us, let's gather the courage to change it. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have finished reading your description. I am more concerned about your connection with the outside world rather than the people in your mind. Why do they come out to find you again? It's simple, it's because you also hope to have someone outside to chat with. I think you also long for a life where you can hang out with a small group of friends, laugh, eat, drink, and go shopping together. If this is the life you desire, then you should take this expectation as a goal and consider if your job can bring you closer to this goal. If not, you may consider quitting, regardless of what your parents say. Of course, there is a crucial point: do you have the habit of saving money? Do you have savings? This is important because it may take some time to find a job that matches the life you desire. Our social circle is too small, sometimes we confine our hearts to become smaller and smaller, but deep down, we still yearn for some communication. As an individual, it is necessary to maintain a mutually ventilating state between the inner self and the outside world, allowing emotions and feelings to flow out, while allowing positive influences from the outside to come in, maintaining a state of circulation, which is extremely important. It can be said that all psychological problems are communication problems. If you can live the life that your inner self expects, then you will feel a sense of joy in your heart. We are all striving to live in that direction. Even the people in your mind also have a beautiful expectation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6091
       },
       {
        "question": "I have filed for bankruptcy four times already. When I have money, I live a luxurious life, but only start reflecting when I run out of money.",
        "description": "I'm 28 years old. I was born in a rural area. My family is poor. Because I knew I was poor before, I was very frugal with my expenses. I also led a simple life in college. Because of my simplicity, my financial situation has always been stable, and I even managed to save some money. But after graduating from college, I had good luck and made a lot of money through entrepreneurship. I started to indulge myself, experiencing things I had never experienced before, such as taking beautiful girls on vacations abroad, eating fancy meals, buying luxury goods, engaging in high-risk investments, and relaxing my guard against friends who were after my money. I also spent a lot of money in nightclubs and entertainment apps. I took long vacations, stopped making money, stopped striving for progress, and became arrogant. I became so foolish that I even hated myself. And then I went bankrupt. At first, I was in despair. But then I became eager to learn, ambitious, humble, and hardworking, and I managed to make a lot of money again, which I believed would last for a long time. And then I started to relax slowly. This cycle of bankruptcy has happened four times. The reasons for bankruptcy are different each time, but overall they are the same as the reasons mentioned above. Luckily, I am young and intelligent, and I have managed to get back on my feet each time I went bankrupt. However, it's strange that the suffering after each bankruptcy, as well as the hardships I endured when I had no money, sometimes forced me to meet more useful people and try new things in life. But I am still afraid of stumbling in the future. Where did I go wrong? Do you have any life advice for me?",
        "keywords": "Growth, improved personality, character traits, self-development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The easier things come to us, the less likely we are to cherish them. When I was young, my family conditions were poor, and I had to stretch every cent as much as possible. I endured a lot of hardships and received many disapproving glances. Later on, I had some opportunities and earned quite a bit of money. I entered circles that I never dared to dream of before and indulged in what is considered high-end consumption. At that time, the only feeling I had was that having money truly allows one to do whatever they want. Thus, I began a life of indulgence. Under the influence of various temptations, I started losing myself. However, money always runs out eventually. After we ran out of money, the people around us would leave because they knew we were no longer valuable. But fate has been kind to me, and every time I fail, I manage to rise again. However, it seems that I have fallen into a cycle where, once I earn enough to meet my expectations, I go back to living the same way, and once the money is gone, I figure out ways to earn it again. It's just like getting drunk when there's wine available today without thinking about tomorrow. There is no clear goal or ambition, and most of the time, we just settle for what is in front of us. Living in a state of constant indulgence is one kind of life, while trying new things is also a part of life. Each time we stumble and fall, we will surely gain different experiences. We just need to understand the meaning of our own lives and leave ourselves a way out, as Lady Luck won't always favor us. Therefore, we can start by improving our parents' living environment and saving up some retirement money for them. We can also invest in several properties for ourselves, even though property is not meant to be speculated on, it at least serves as an asset and provides us with some security. Additionally, we can explore different lifestyles, meet exceptional people, observe their lives, and see if we are interested in trying something new. Moreover, we should pay attention to our health, as health is something that no amount of money can buy, and excessive indulgence can be detrimental to our well-being. The world loves you, and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Instant pleasure seekers who relish in the comfort of being moderately wealthy are often faced with the reality that fast wealth also vanishes quickly. This is particularly true for young people who do not take earning money seriously. When faced with the poverty-stricken rural life from before, they start seeking revengeful enjoyment as a way to compensate for their past shortcomings. All problems stem from emotional issues. In the past, life in rural areas was barren and isolated, as if one's life was slowly crawling in a sleeping elevator. But once they enter university and step out into the world, it rushes at them like a roller coaster, with inevitable ups and downs. You also realize that one cannot constantly sleep or be on a roller coaster, but must return to a normal track. Within your heart, there is a yearning for emotions, an emptiness that desires to be filled. When the winds of success blow, you soar high, eager to prove yourself; but when the winds subside, you fall flat on the ground. Luckily, you understand this, so your fighting spirit remains, and opportunities abound. Entrepreneurship is a skill, a capability. Life will progress steadily through cycles of gain and loss, rise and fall. At the same time, extravagance will not be envied by others. Like you said, it is something to be despised, as it represents a superficial lifestyle. People are born weak and strive towards strength, without the need to prove themselves to anyone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2492
       },
       {
        "question": "Introverted, gentle, and outgoing, how can one resolve internal conflicts (personality conflicts)?",
        "description": "1. Quiet and outgoing. Based on the perspective of others, I can summarize it as follows: I can make some harmless jokes, have many ideas, relatively lively, a bit childish, sometimes a bit carefree but not negligent when I need to be serious. It's like the state of a young girl, good-tempered and easygoing, but internally resilient. I am easygoing but not easily bullied. Based on my self-understanding, I often reflect and am very rational. I am indeed internally resilient and have a strong sense of self-protection. My easygoing nature towards many people is a kind of slightly indifferent easiness. Occasionally being carefree is a way to lower others' expectations of me and make myself feel more relaxed without too much burden. Being outgoing is actually something I learned and evolved from imitating others, because I used to be more introverted when I was young, and many people around me (such as my parents) hoped that I could be lively, cheerful, and open. In conclusion, from the inside out, it is \"soft-hard-soft\". 2. Quiet, gentle, and good-tempered. After going to college, some things happened (interpersonal relationships and subjects I didn't like or excel in) that forced me to become more gentle from the inside out and accept myself. At that time, it was an immature gentleness. On one hand, I would compromise myself to avoid conflicts, and on the other hand, I had to be gentle with myself to reconcile with the many things I couldn't achieve. Then, I went through a particularly difficult period.",
        "keywords": "Growth, improved character, personality traits, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I am also someone who appears gentle and harmless on the outside but is strong-willed on the inside, so many people who meet me for the first time think that I am a soft girl. Because I am gentle in my dealings with others, some people think that I am easy to bully. For example, when I am angry, I will seriously reason with the other person without obvious emotions in my tone. However, my friends think that I am weak. It seems that in the eyes of most people, if you have been wronged or hurt, you have to shout loudly or show intense emotions in order to appear powerful and strong. Actually, in my opinion, the situation is not bad enough to make me lose control of my emotions. Being gentle is because I still have the strength to control the situation. The OP is gentle when dealing with others because they are kind and considerate of the people around them. However, because they always consider others before themselves, their feelings are suppressed, and they feel aggrieved. The OP is not good at expressing themselves, and because their repressed emotions are not released, they doubt their gentleness and feel that they are a bit hypocritical and unreal. I suggest that the OP learns to bravely express themselves, not be afraid of rejection. If the people around you are always immature and constantly demand that you sacrifice yourself, I suggest that you keep your distance from them and learn to refuse unreasonable demands. Not a professional in psychology, just providing advice from a personal perspective, I hope the OP can be happy being themselves.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13658
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it normal for the mind to constantly think about things 24 hours a day?",
        "description": "Hello, I would like to ask a question. Since I was young, my mind has been constantly thinking 24 hours a day. The content of my thoughts is all over the place, such as creating a TV series or animation in my head when I couldn't watch TV as a child. As I grew older, I wasn't as interested in watching TV, but it seems like my mind can't tolerate a second of leisure. It's like playing a movie in my mind without realizing it, sometimes thinking about scenes I've seen on the street, sometimes thinking about things others have said before, sometimes thinking about TV drama plots I've seen, sometimes recalling melodies of songs, and everything is naturally and involuntarily. There is never a moment of emptiness in my mind, even when I'm running or eating, I'm still thinking, and even when I'm listening to someone speak, I'm still thinking. I can't stop my thoughts for a second. But usually, after I finish thinking in one second, I immediately forget what I thought about in the previous second. Can you please tell me if this is normal? Does it have any negative effects on me?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey there, it seems like you've been stuck in a state of constant overthinking and can't control your racing thoughts. I can tell it's really bothering you. From the moment we wake up in the morning, countless decisions flood our minds. It starts with choosing what to wear, then moves on to deciding what to have for breakfast once we step outside. Throughout the day, our brains have to process thousands of decisions, some challenging and some simple. It's inevitable that this abundance of decisions can disrupt our judgment and lead to making mistakes. Based on your description, \"since I was little, my mind has been constantly thinking nonstop,\" perhaps when you were younger, you could enjoy the company of these wild thoughts. But as you've grown up, you can no longer ignore this state. My guess is that maybe you're exposed to too much and too much varied information every day, causing your brain to process a lot of information, which can easily lead to overload. I suggest you try to focus your attention and control the amount of information you receive in your daily life. If you feel that this situation has already begun to affect your normal life, perhaps you should seek medical attention promptly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2522
       },
       {
        "question": "If you had one chance, what would you most like to say to the boy who blocked you?",
        "description": "A colleague introduced me to a potential blind date at the beginning of the year. Initially, we had good conversations on WeChat and he would actively reach out to chat with me every day. When we eventually met in person, he seemed to have a good impression of me and actively sought out conversations. I also made the effort to initiate meetings with him. However, as we spent more time together, I realized that we had different interests and he started to become increasingly distant. He would ignore my messages as if he didn't see them. When I confronted him in person, he said, \"You seem different in real life compared to how you are on WeChat. You're easier to get along with in person.\" Later on, our WeChat conversations started to have more differences in opinions, but I didn't think it crossed any boundaries. However, he would often say, \"Is this interesting to you?\" but I was just expressing my own thoughts and never said that it was about being right or wrong. I was just sharing my perspective. Then he accused me of arguing. Later on, on WeChat, he started to make more negative comments about me, such as \"You don't act like a girl. 95% of guys wouldn't be able to handle someone like you.\" This made me doubt myself for a period of time. During our last meeting, I suggested that we could still be friends, and he agreed, but he continued to ignore me on WeChat. I got angry and bombarded him with messages on WeChat (now I realize that I was being foolish). After a few days, I found out that he had deleted me. I used the \"Add Friend\" feature on WeChat to message him, but after just a few sentences, he blocked me. I'm still single in my 20s and don't know how to handle relationship issues.",
        "keywords": "Love, dependency, attachment, getting back an ex, arguing.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the original poster! Going through such things can really be troubling! From your description, it's clear that your conversations were not on the same wavelength. In fact, if two people have different interests and values, it's not suitable for them to be together. Moreover, when he becomes more and more indifferent towards you, you should understand that as adults, many things don't need to be spelled out. As long as he cares about you, he will message you, regardless of how busy he is. He always says, \"Is this interesting?\" If it were me, I wouldn't feel good hearing that, as if talking to me is a bother. And he even said you don't look like a girl? It's really infuriating! No matter who it is, no one should receive such comments! It's really tough for the original poster to encounter someone like this! And you even fell into self-doubt. Actually, there's no need to care about being blocked. Pay more attention to your own emotions. Since he doesn't want to have any contact with you anymore, don't waste your time on him. Why be friends with someone who belittles you? Everyone has dignity, and dignity is not meant to be trampled on by others! Friends should encourage you when you're down and silently applaud you when you succeed. The original poster also felt a bit foolish for messaging him later, which shows that you don't want to do that either and it makes you appear undignified. Don't dwell on unhappy things like this anymore! You will meet better people! Hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19402
       },
       {
        "question": "Why doesn't he love me??? I can't forget him at all, what should I do?",
        "description": "I am an ordinary, extremely ordinary girl, very average with no particular interests or talents. I also don't have a good figure or appearance. But the boy I like is very outstanding. He can do everything, sing, dance, and his grades are also good. Many girls like him, and he also likes a very outstanding and elegant girl. However, they haven't confirmed their relationship yet. Every day, I secretly send him some random messages, but he never replies. He even seems a little disgusted. Later on, I slowly understood and slowly accepted that this love will never belong to me. But who can help me? I just can't forget about him, I can't forget. I still pay attention to his every move, and sometimes when he says something similar to what I said, I imagine for a moment that he has liked me too, only to find out later that he sent it to that girl. It turns out that sometimes that girl has similar thoughts to mine, but she is more confident, beautiful, and talented. She holds many positions in school. I also envy and resent her. I know that this kind of feeling is not right. How do I completely forget about all of this and start over? Why do I always fantasize and overthink?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, attachment, being single.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, little sister: You said you are an ordinary and unremarkable girl who has developed a crush on a male classmate who excels in every aspect. In your eyes, he is someone worth admiring and liking, like an idol who makes your heart flutter and you hold affection for. First of all, I believe that you have the right to like beautiful things, including the wonderful emotions you have for him. There is nothing wrong with that. You said you tried to communicate with him, but he did not respond and even seemed disgusted, which made you very sad because your feelings were not reciprocated, and that can be really painful. You love him, but he doesn't love you back. This kind of situation is a kind of despair for anyone who pursues beautiful things. In this vast world, with so many people, it is heart-wrenching when we can't have what we desire! You said there is another girl who is confident and talented and this makes you jealous. Yes, it is natural to feel jealous and envious of her because in your eyes, she seems to be more excellent than you. Jealousy is not a crime! So, you start blaming yourself and listing all your flaws, even hating yourself for not being the person he likes. If there were magic in the world, I think we all would want to transform into the ideal image of our loved ones, becoming their princess. I am contemplating a question: If there really were magic in the world that could make us become the ideal and beautiful person, just like the talented girl you mentioned, then where would you be? Even if you became someone else, would the guy you like still like \"you\"? So, what would \"you\" do? Where would you go? In reality, there is no magic, and it is impossible for you to become her because your existence is unique and irreplaceable! You are someone who can't be substituted! You are the one and only daughter in your parents' eyes, and the unique you in the eyes of your friends. The Creator is always fair, even though you may think there are many things wrong with you, there will also be different aspects about you, such as realizing that there is something wrong with your emotions. I believe that deep inside, you are a wise and kind-hearted girl. Love's yearning has just made you lose yourself a bit! Because love always makes people lose themselves, that's love! However, what really seems to be making you suffer is your lack of self-confidence, and deep down, you don't seem to like yourself very much. Let me ask you this: if we don't even like ourselves, then who else will like us? \"Every person who comes into our lives is here to help us!\" Just like that girl, she stimulates you, just like looking at yourself in the mirror, revealing your insecure self and causing you to feel frustrated! I believe that you, being intelligent, can understand what I mean: yes, change! You can also become self-confident because I imagine you have the courage to do so. You are able to courageously admit your flaws and have the courage to change yourself. When you become confident, you will discover your own beauty because that radiates personal charisma. Seize this opportunity to change yourself, get to know yourself, and embrace yourself. \"I love myself, and I believe more people will come to love me because I am worthy of love.\" These few sentences are for you. I sincerely hope that you, this ordinary girl, will bloom your own beauty soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I saw a girl struggling in unrequited love. My heart aches for you, sending you a hug~ True love is when both parties have mutual feelings and understanding for each other. But what are the chances of encountering such a perfect love? Most of the time, we have to face and endure the pain of loving someone who doesn't love us back. When we develop feelings for someone, there is often a halo effect, as if that person has stars in their eyes and a sun shining on them. Maybe they are truly exceptional, or maybe it's an exaggerated perception caused by the halo effect. Similarly, the seemingly ordinary and unremarkable version of yourself that you mentioned, is that the real you? Our self-perception is highly subjective. Some people are confident, some are narcissistic, some are excessively self-deprecating, and some have a balanced self-assessment. In your case of unrequited love, it is clear that you underestimate yourself and overestimate the other person. The reality is, you like them but they don't like you back. How can you retract your feelings? It's painful. Love is a very emotional matter, it's not a decision we can rationalize and retract. You mentioned that you often fantasize, like trying to find evidence that they might also like you based on subtle clues. This shows that you are a emotionally sensitive and imaginative girl. It's a characteristic of your personality. It's a double-edged sword. If you can balance your fantasies with realistic considerations, then there's no need for you to deliberately avoid or change anything. But if you are constantly indulging in fantasies, to the point where you lose control of your actions, it will only bring you more harm. In that case, you need some support and help in grounding yourself in reality. It's truly an energy-consuming process. But if you can find balance between fantasy and reality, and learn to see both yourself and the other person without the halo effect, then you will have grown a lot. Growth has never been easy, don't you think? Keep going, and best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, the way we perceive ourselves and others is often different. When looking at ourselves, we often have a critical attitude and judgmental eyes, only focusing on our own flaws and shortcomings. However, when looking at others, we tend to have an appreciative attitude and see their strengths. Comparing their strengths to our own shortcomings can lead to self-doubt and feeling inadequate. You may think that the boy you like and the girl he likes are both excellent, while you consider yourself ordinary and lacking interests, hobbies, and talent, as well as having a bad figure and appearance. This is clearly self-negation. Perhaps, in the eyes of others, you are not like that at all. There was a small experiment conducted by an artist. He invited some people to participate and asked them to describe their own appearance. Based on their descriptions, he painted portraits without seeing them. Then, he asked another group of people to describe the appearance of the first group, and he painted their portraits based on those descriptions. The portraits painted by the same subject, based on their own description, are often less attractive compared to the portraits based on the descriptions of others, as their own descriptions tend to emphasize their flaws. This experiment was made into a video called \"You are more beautiful than you think\"; you can take a look at it. It's not that you're not good enough, it's just that you haven't seen your own beauty. Our liking or disliking someone is not solely based on whether they are excellent or not, but on many factors. If this guy doesn't like you, it's not because you're not outstanding, but maybe he just feels that you're not compatible with him. So, don't underestimate yourself. If you envy and admire that girl, you can also strive to improve yourself and become the person you admire. If you can't forget for now, just let it be. The more you try to forget, the harder it becomes. Just let things take their natural course. He can also become a motivation for you to strive harder. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. As long as you are willing, there may still be a possibility between you two. However, since you have already seen the excellence in the other person and the plainness in yourself, instead of fantasizing every day and focusing on their every move, it would be better to spend time on yourself, become better and more wonderful. Develop hobbies, maintain a healthy weight, read books, explore the world, both internally and externally, and gradually become worthy of their goodness. Otherwise, even if you do end up together one day, your self-doubt will become a killer for your relationship. In other words, relationships also depend on compatibility and finding a worthy opponent. Relationships with too much disparity often result in bitter love. To obtain a high-quality love, you must first learn to be stable in your emotions and enjoy your own company, and have a love for life. When the time is right, your unique charm will naturally attract them. I wish you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, I think it's common for us to develop such beautiful feelings during our student days, often thinking about and paying attention to every move of the person we like, fantasizing about whether they like us back. This is a normal kind of sentiment. The guy you like is excellent, good at everything, and has good grades. However, he likes a girl who is very outstanding and has a great personality. In comparison, you probably feel very ordinary. But in fact, you are not ordinary at all, and self-confidence is a skill that no one is born with. My advice is: turn your liking into the motivation to become better. We should realize that this guy never replies to your messages, and may even feel a bit annoyed. At this point, we should give ourselves a signal to stop sending him messages, otherwise, it will backfire, isn't it? I suggest that you focus on yourself and make efforts. You may become an even better person than him. When you live a fulfilling and confident life, you will attract people with the same qualities as you and gain a high-quality love.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12832
       },
       {
        "question": "In the first year of high school, sitting in the front row and being too close to the teacher makes me feel very uncomfortable. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am in the first year of high school. Recently, I have been sitting in the front row, right next to the blackboard. I am a relatively shy person. Sitting in the front row makes me very uncomfortable, but I can't ask to change seats (class rule: change seats every month). Today in math class, I already struggle with math, and the teacher always sits next to me when we are doing exercises in class, since it's closer to the blackboard. When the teacher sits next to me, I can't solve any problems, not even the simplest ones. It seems like the teacher noticed that I couldn't solve such an easy problem and said to the whole class (it felt like it was directed at me), \"If you can't solve such a simple problem, then give up.\" After hearing this, I felt really sad. I don't know if it's because my teacher is too fearful or something else, ahhhh! It's so heartbreaking. I feel like I'm being controlled when the teacher is nearby. Plus, others in the class are always actively answering questions during class, which makes me even more anxious. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, anxiety, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Listen well, first of all, it's not your fault if you can't solve the problem, so you don't have to feel ashamed. Everyone has areas they are not good at. For example, if you're not good at math, I happen to not be good at it either. So, I focus on subjects in the humanities instead. If you feel guilty about it, you can privately ask someone who is good at math for help. In fact, math is not difficult. As long as you listen carefully, understand, and practice the exercises diligently, I believe your classmates will see you in a new light. It has formulas, just plug in the formula and you'll be fine.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20233
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling stupid and dumb, I don't know the meaning of my existence.",
        "description": "I feel dumb and clumsy, with slow reactions. I am short, thin and weak, inherently inferior to others. I have low emotional intelligence, poor social skills, and bad relationships with everyone. Everyone hates me, I'm wasting my parents' money and everyone's time. I have also thought, if my parents had a boy as their first child, would there be no me, my younger brother, and sister? Were they so desperate for a boy to carry on the family line that they had my sister and then got sterilized, so there wouldn't be so many issues, debts, and their pressure wouldn't be so great? There wouldn't be the three of us, and I wouldn't have come into this world, I wouldn't have experienced so much. I don't know why I should continue living.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, growth process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Lou Yuan! This is Laoyuan. I'm glad to meet you, the only and the best version of yourself in the world. However, it seems like you have encountered some problems, and I hope I can help you. Keywords: family, interpersonal relationships, one's future personality, beliefs, and character are largely influenced by the original family. *Lou Yuan, you mentioned mostly about family matters. From your narration, it seems that you are dissatisfied with the current situation in your family and consider it a \"failure.\" You also feel extremely guilty and disgusted with yourself as you believe it is your own fault. Please listen carefully, regardless of what kind of family you come from, whether it is poor or anything else, it is not your fault, it has never been your fault. Your family, before you were born, was composed of your parents. You didn't have the ability to decide whether it was good or bad, and likewise, it is not your fault if it turned out to be good or bad. There seem to be many sisters in your family, and generally, the middle child rarely receives much attention from parents. However, from your narration, it seems that your parents have a tendency to favor boys over girls. But so what? They are the ones with that bias, not you. What you need is simply to live well and happily. And this brings us to the problem you are facing. *Interpersonal relationships, Lou Yuan, you have a very low self-evaluation, but you don't need to be like that, really. Although people are usually visual creatures, they also seek soulful connections (let's use a little bit of idealism here XD). However, since you are unwilling to talk about your experiences, I can't make a judgment about what you have been through. So, I'll write this paragraph for you, hoping that you can get through the toughest times. Height, weight, and appearance don't matter, I only know that you are an important person in my heart, just like that, simple and straightforward. Many times, we don't fit in with others, and it may not necessarily be our fault. Look around this world, there are always people like you. I hope to meet you in the future, so I hope you can live on and meet that person. Life is inherently lonely, and your temporary loneliness does not mean that your social circle is poor. As long as you focus on being yourself, it will suffice. Why we exist, this question never has an answer. It requires your whole life to answer it. The same goes for meaning and meaninglessness\u2014nothing has inherent meaning, it always needs people to assign meaning to it, whether it's you, him, or anyone else. This world is wonderful, so work hard and enjoy watching this world in the future. The world and I love you. Even in the depths of despair, there will always be twinkling stars to warm you up.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 15099
       },
       {
        "question": "You can't help but cry even if you don't want to, what situation does this belong to?",
        "description": "I always end up crying whenever something happens, even though I don't want to cry. Sometimes, there's nothing wrong, but I suddenly feel upset for no reason. I become very sensitive to what others say or do, and I find myself crying secretly. Sometimes, it gets so bad that I even think about suicide and come up with various methods, but I don't dare to do it. I am afraid that if I die, my family will blame me for causing trouble and have to handle my affairs. I am also afraid that if the suicide attempt fails, I will wake up to a lot of scolding. I constantly feel like there's something wrong with me, and it has a lot to do with my family. Why is it that sometimes I can be perfectly fine, but once my mood is affected, it becomes that situation?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, feelings of depression, expressing emotions, therapeutic methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, hello! I can understand how you feel. I used to feel the same way. Actually, our mental state is quite normal. We're just affected by insecurities, timidity, sensitivity, and lack of security. Our emotions are intermittent. When we encounter something that we can't bear, our emotions become pessimistic, compounded by the internal grievances that we sometimes cannot express, and there might be no one to listen to our grievances. That's why tears uncontrollably flow. However, people like us are actually kind and sensitive, willing to help others. This is our strength. Everyone's emotions have ups and downs. Feeling irritated is because something is affecting your cognition, making you feel that it contradicts your inner thoughts or conflicts with others' perspectives. That inexplicable irritation is normal, almost everyone in the world is like that. I don't know if you are afraid to deny or refuse what others say, or if you always compromise and try to be kind when interacting with others. In fact, this goes back to the problem you mentioned about your family background. We're all born the same way, but the different upbringing and education by our parents result in different personalities. It's possible that we weren't valued at home and our families didn't provide us with enough security, leading us to fear and strive to please others. Sometimes even a word or action from others can affect us. But I want to tell you that it's not your fault, and we can change through our own efforts. I am an example. I used to worry that people didn't want to play with me or that my boss didn't like me just because of a look from someone. I tried to please them, but it didn't work. Now, through studying psychology, I have made some changes and learned to love myself. So, you can definitely do it too. When I typed the sentence \"I think about suicide, but I'm afraid. And even if I don't die, my family will blame me and I'll be scolded,\" my heart tightened because it reminded me of the inner dialogue I had in high school. I'm sure you feel very conflicted and tormented. It's okay, be strong and find the right way. We will definitely get better. Actually, people like us are often the most filial, but our parents can't recognize it. It's okay, it's not your fault. In fact, if you browse the Q&A section, you will find many peers who are confused like us. When you choose to seek answers here, I believe that you are willing and even very eager to find a solution to your problems. So, I believe you can do it. Based on the analysis above, I will give you some suggestions: 1) Strengthen your inner self. Our sensitivity and inferiority are due to a weak inner self. Our mental resilience is low, but we can strengthen our inner self through learning and exercise. You need to study more. In your spare time, read more books on psychology. Or you can study psychology to improve yourself. 2) Don't give up and strive hard. Most people are struggling in life, but as long as you live positively and persistently try to improve your state, there will come a day when we will have our own little world. 3) Exercise. I suggest doing more physical activities. You can go for a run, which not only exercises the body but also reduces stress. It's a good healing method. You can also go out more often to broaden your horizons. Seeing more will give us more motivation and even make us dissatisfied with the current situation. Please tell yourself, \"I am fine, and I will work hard to make myself even better!\"",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Louzhu, hello, sending you a supportive hug. Have you encountered something lately, causing your emotions to be so low? Hugs to you. When emotions are compressed for a long time, it becomes unbearable and needs to be released. It's like a cup filled with water, when it becomes too full, it naturally overflows. Your emotions are the same. Each thing has its own maximum threshold of tolerance, and when it exceeds that threshold, it becomes overwhelming. 'When you cry even though you don't want to, it's because of involuntarily held emotions.' So maybe at that moment, it wasn't the current situation that made you want to cry, but rather the accumulation of stored emotions that had no outlet. 'Always crying when something happens, even though I don't want to, it's because of involuntarily held emotions.' Definitely, someone triggered a certain point within you that has been deeply buried in your subconscious, where you have already been hurt, a deep wound, so deep that you haven't even noticed it. Being triggered by someone, you either become angry or burst into tears. Whether it's anger or tears depends on your current energy level. If your energy is high, you become angry; if it's low, you cry.\" \"In severe cases, you might even think of suicide, think about various methods but lack the courage...\" You are just under too much pressure, unable to bear it, wanting to escape. I don't know of any solutions, just wanting to escape. I believe that these are just temporary thoughts, please don't continue thinking about them, don't delve into them further, it's not good to get stuck in a negative mindset. You must think positively, think about what's more convenient, and definitely don't act foolishly. \"I'm afraid that after I die, my family will blame me for causing trouble and have to deal with my affairs, and I'm also afraid that if I don't die, I'll wake up to a barrage of criticism.\" It's not your fault, really, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault, not your fault, not your fault. It's a problem with the parents, they have no filter, their words hurt others. They have mouths like blades and hearts like blades. They are used to attacking, it's their problem. Maybe they grew up in an environment like this, where they also didn't receive good treatment from others, so they don't know how to treat you well, it's not your fault. Treat their words like farts, don't take them or believe them too seriously, if according to them you haven't done anything wrong, then you shouldn't care too much, just let it go in one ear and out the other. \"I always feel like there's something wrong with me, it has a lot to do with my family.\" I don't know what your family said to you, but don't take it too seriously, don't take it too much to heart. If you always feel like there's something wrong with you, it's probably because you're in a bad mood, which makes your body feel uncomfortable. It's just a signal, pay attention to your own physical health, care for yourself. \"Why do I sometimes feel like a normal person, but my mood is affected in that situation?\" Because you've been carrying your emotions for too long, it's difficult to bear. This way, it makes you feel better and more comfortable when you let yourself go with the flow, it's a natural instinctive reaction. Since your brain is commanding you like this, just follow its lead and relax a little. It will make you feel more comfortable and better equipped to deal with future problems. I have been paying attention to and studying content related to emotions. In everyday life, I like to pay attention to things related to emotions. In my studies, I am very attentive to this topic, and based on some learning, I have deep feelings about the issue of emotions. This is how I understand emotions, and I summarize them as follows: I compare emotions to water. Emotions are like water. In many expressions and literary works in our Chinese language, we like to compare them to water: emotions are \"like tidal waves surging,\" \"emotions are like floods,\" \"like rushing tidal waves,\" \"emotions burst.\" In the study of psychology, it tells us that emotions flow. This reinforces my perception and understanding of this abstract concept, and helps me make this abstract noun more tangible, enhancing the accuracy of my understanding. Emotions cannot be controlled. Any book that claims to \"control emotions,\" or inspirational writing, is a misunderstanding and bias towards psychology, because emotions cannot be blocked. If we block emotions in one place, they will be released in another place, making it difficult for us to guard against, just like a flood. Only when we let emotions flow, our pain and unhappiness will be released, and we can share them and have others share the burden. First, emotions have multiple dimensions. According to different degrees, they can be divided into different dimensions, for example, following this example, I'll temporarily divide it into 7 dimensions: depression, mild depression, sadness, normal emotions, happiness, mild agitation, and agitation. Then there's another way to express it, which is depression and anxiety: 1. If it's depression, there will be sadness, irritability, thoughts of suicide, and exhaustion. 2. If it's anxiety, there will be tremors, nervous weakness, rapid heartbeat, and sweating. If it's between the two, it means: 1.2. Restlessness, excessive worry, and confusion.",
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        "questionID": 5753
       },
       {
        "question": "I am hesitating between pursuing further studies and working. I enjoy practical experiences and find it difficult to concentrate on studying. I'm not sure what to do.",
        "description": "Many of my older sisters and classmates are taking the postgraduate entrance examination, and my parents also hope that I will do the same. However, they also urge me to find an internship. I also believe that pursuing a postgraduate degree can enhance my knowledge and qualifications. Now I am in my final year of college, with only a few months left, but I have only done a little bit of review. I feel like giving up. I can't concentrate on studying and reviewing, I prefer to go out and engage in practical activities. I am interested in various skills such as dancing, swimming, diving, PR, etc. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, life meaning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the story provided by the topic owner, I can feel that you are torn between continuing to pursue further education or engaging in practical work at this stage. In terms of practical work, because you have various interests and thoughts about what you want to do, it has created uncertainty about the future and has caused you to feel stressed. I suggest that the topic owner can choose to write down the pros and cons of choosing different paths: 1- Choosing to take the entrance examination for postgraduate studies, what benefits can it bring to me? What advantages and opportunities will it provide for my future career? With less than four months left, what level of achievement can I reach? If I am not accepted, what consequences will I face? Do I need to face the pressure of entering the job market? ... ... \n2- Choosing to follow my own interests, this will make me feel comfortable at present, but while pursuing these interests, do I have enough financial foundation to support them? Will it create pressure for my family? Will the people at home give me additional pressure? Will these interests be helpful for my future development? Can these interests become a direction for my career development? ... ... The topic owner can create a corresponding table based on their own needs, face their true thoughts honestly, and choose the path that they believe is the best.",
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        "questionID": 9825
       },
       {
        "question": "What should a person with depression do if they develop feelings for someone?",
        "description": "I am a patient with moderate depression and currently taking medication. I feel very lonely, so I chat with strangers on a social media platform. Lately, I have found myself eager to meet up with nearby strangers. I like to dress up and look glamorous when meeting them, chatting, and smiling, as if I were a normal person. The first person was because I wanted to jump into the lake, but he came to pick me up on his electric scooter. We walked in the playground and then he took me back to my dorm. The second person was because he said he was willing to accompany me to the hospital, which touched me. Then we had a meal together. The third person was because I was bored, and he happened to be on vacation. We met, walked, and chatted. I admired his experience. I don't feel like seeing any of the people I have met again. Until the fourth person, I understood his sadness and academic pressure, and I resonated with him. He tried to do something for me, and I started crying loudly because I was scared. He comforted me and hugged me like comforting a child. In fact, we were both well-dressed, and nothing happened. I realized that I have developed feelings for him, so I deleted everyone else and left only him. However, I stubbornly declined his second invitation. What's wrong with me? Am I better now? But I am still that sad, terrible, wanting-to-disappear me. How should I face myself and this strange feeling?",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, it's nice to see you here. Major depressive disorder is really unpleasant, I understand. But what I see is an image of someone who, despite feeling uncomfortable and having more darkness in their life than the average person, is still actively seeking redemption. Honestly, it moves me. Your process of meeting strangers through social media is a process of self-redemption. Because you believe that you can be okay, really okay. [To someone who doesn't know your past, you believe in showing a very normal side, even superior to others (because the ability of depression patients to perceive and respect life is beyond average)]. So you are enthusiastic about meeting strangers, believing that there will definitely be a meaningful connection. Indeed, you have achieved that. But on the other hand, you know that this ability cannot be sustained. Depressive disorders cannot maintain a stable emotional state; the random words and actions that occasionally appear in this world will trigger our existing traumatic experiences. It's easy to light the fuse. And more often than not, it's because the explosive inside needs to be released properly. Because we're not okay yet, we can't always control it. And once separated, we don't want to see each other anymore. Knowing that the purpose of meeting has been fulfilled, knowing that we are not ready to invest ourselves in such a relationship (regardless of what it may be), we naturally won't meet again, won't seek to continue. Because for our inner feelings, this is enough, we don't have the desire to make something happen or become something in reality! These moments are like when a person sunbathes when they have nothing else to do. They can enjoy the sun, but that's it. The sky cannot always have the sun hanging high, and we are not prepared to be seen when the moon comes out. When the day comes, [when we can take day and night interchangeably, when joy and sadness coexist without feeling uneasy], at that time, we will feel love for ourselves, like ourselves, and hope that this beautiful self can be seen by more people, and believe that this self deserves to be loved by more people. That's when we can truly say we're doing well! Lastly, I want to say that [depression can definitely get better, you have to believe in that]. It's just that this process includes so much that the average person cannot perceive, and as a result, you will ultimately have to understand and accommodate more than others.",
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        "questionID": 4488
       },
       {
        "question": "After my boyfriend had an affair and we got back together, whenever I think about it, I can't help but burst into tears. Please help me.",
        "description": "I used to be a very optimistic girl, you could say that I didn't have any worries. A few months ago, my boyfriend was involved in ambiguities with another girl. I heard that he even pursued that girl. Because we work in the same company, when I started studying in the administrative department for less than a month, my colleagues told me about this matter. At that time, I didn't think much about it and just said that I knew about it and they were just ordinary friends. In fact, I didn't know anything. When I went home and asked him, he was in a bad mood towards me, which confirmed the truth. He apologized and showed a good attitude, so I forgave him. A few days later, that girl added me and told me how he pursued her, she mentioned a lot of details. I took my phone and replied to her using his account, admitting that it was him, and then he said some words of greetings, please note that he used the phrase \"greetings to each other.\" Can you use this phrase if there's no problem? Definitely not. Now we have made up, but I feel upset and occasionally cry when I think about this matter. After this incident happened, I couldn't eat for a whole month and lost more than ten kilograms. I love him but I still want to break up, but he doesn't agree. I don't like being suspicious all the time or being constantly depressed and unhappy. I feel like I can't get out of this situation. I hope everyone can help me, I'm really in pain.",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, sense of security, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's tidy up while chatting: Your demand: You want to break up. His demand: He disagrees. From your description, it seems that he pursued another girl while having a girlfriend. This behavior is unacceptable to any woman, and although you ultimately chose to reconcile, your heart cannot accept this behavior of his. Maintaining a relationship itself is not easy, but he pursued another girl while still in a relationship with you. His attitude towards you is very uncomfortable, and it includes a lack of respect for you and disregards the harm caused by his actions. He chooses to do such things, and no one can stop him because it is his choice and right. But he may not know how deep the hurt caused by this is, you can choose to forgive him, but forgiving does not mean you have to continue a romantic relationship. As you said, you love him but want to break up. This is your right, you have the right to do so. His actions have already hurt your trust in him, and once that trust is damaged, it is difficult to repair in the short term. You can tell him how you feel, whether he agrees or not is not within your consideration, he only needs to know the result. How he faces this result is his own business. You need to do what you think needs to be done. Just as when he pursued that girl, he should be prepared to face such consequences and take responsibility for them. Making the decision to break up is indeed painful, especially since you still love him. But what's more painful is being with him, as his existence itself is like rubbing salt on your wound, very painful. The way you are currently handling the breakup, I think it's quite appropriate to separate for a while. If you can accept him, then you can choose to get back together. If you can't accept it, then the pain of letting go also exists. If you need someone to accompany you through this dark period, feel free to leave a message or private message at any time, and I can chat with you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's a choice to still want love despite the pain. It's also a choice to choose separation even when you love someone deeply. In the former case, you may need professional help to alleviate your emotions. Losing over ten kilograms in a month, feeling depressed and unable to move on, you should prioritize and pay attention to your mental health. The latter situation may also be painful, but it can be the start of a healing journey. In relationships, it's important to have boundaries - what is acceptable and what is intolerable. Without knowing our boundaries, we may easily allow others to overstep them, and our forgiveness might become a reason for them to hurt us again. Regarding your situation, it's important to communicate with your boyfriend about his ambiguous behavior and why he pursued another girl despite having you. What did that girl say to you? These are crucial questions that can help you determine if this guy truly loves you. You mentioned that you heard about the ambiguity from a colleague, which means your boyfriend was quite open about pursuing someone else. What do you think about that? Perhaps you just weren't aware. When you asked him, his defensive reaction made you assume it was true. I'm curious, what was the reasoning behind your deduction? Or do you know him well enough that such behavior confirms your view of him? If that's the case, his attitude of admitting fault may not be as good as you think. Think carefully about when he asked for forgiveness. Clearly, he didn't start with a good attitude. His \"take care of yourselves\" remark led you to think about many things, deepening your pain. Overall, this matter has caused you significant harm, and the crisis of trust is evident. Only by facing the current crisis of trust can emotional repair be possible. However, you may need to ponder whether it is worth forgiving infidelity during a romantic relationship. If you forgive, will your condition improve? It seems not. If you don't forgive, what will it be like? In any case, always listen to your heart and don't let it be mistreated.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. After your boyfriend cheated on you, he became angry and defensive. He only expressed wanting to break up after the other girl contacted you. You are well aware that his infidelity is a fact. However, you are reluctant to let go because his apology holds significant emotional value for you. So, for now, you have chosen to stay in the relationship. But this doesn't relieve the hurt, pain, and injustice you feel inside. Your relationship has already changed as a result, and your trust in him and the relationship has been shattered, tormenting you. Is this true? When someone you like not only betrays the relationship but also learns the details of the affair from the other girl, the inner pain is unquestionable. Therefore, doubting your partner, feeling unloved, and even self-doubt are all stages you may go through. Your boyfriend is the one who dragged you into this \"bitter sea,\" but it may require your own efforts, as well as genuine cooperation from him, to pull you out of it. First of all, in the midst of this pain, strive to understand your true desires and what qualities your boyfriend possesses \u2013 whether he can fulfill your genuine aspirations. Any decision should be based on the life and emotional relationship you truly desire. If you find the act of infidelity completely unacceptable and prioritize loyalty, and if your boyfriend has a tendency to have multiple partners (such individuals have a high probability of repeated infidelity), then even if you temporarily remain in the relationship, your inner torment will continue and may even become a vicious cycle in the future. Secondly, if you choose to stay in the relationship, at this stage, you need to propose a plan to rebuild the relationship and get your boyfriend to cooperate with you. The old relationship has already been shattered, and your emotions haven't truly been released yet. Continuing to superficially forgive without any plan will not help rebuild the relationship. You need to present a plan, such as having him answer your calls promptly and come home right after work, etc. You can also propose certain punitive measures (with the goal of compensating for your pain and providing relief to your emotions), such as taking back financial rights. In short, there need to be concrete actions, with both parties cooperating, in order to repair and rebuild the relationship. Finally, focus on yourself and make decisions from the heart. Pouring all your attention into this matter will continually deplete you, causing you pain and leaving you with no other choice. If you redirect your attention to self-improvement, enhancing your value and charm, you will have more options and be able to choose someone you genuinely like who is a better match for you. When comparing the two options, doesn't the latter seem more worthwhile in terms of time invested? May you love yourself and find someone who loves you in the right way.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Oh my goodness, girl, I can't believe I have a similar experience as you. I started dating my boyfriend in high school and we had a long-distance relationship in college, which was going well. I trusted him completely and never doubted him. But things changed when he started working. He started criticizing me all the time, finding faults in everything I did, and even said I wasn't attractive to him anymore. I was shocked and blamed myself, thinking it was my fault. I never expected that it was because of another girl. Later, he confessed to me himself and said that this girl liked him and even wrote a poem about their meeting. I was devastated when he showed me the pictures they took together. I couldn't sleep all night and wanted to break up with him. Later, his family, whom I already knew well, said that there must be a reason for this problem. I reflected on myself and realized that I had neglected him during that time because I was playing games. But that still wasn't a reason for him to cheat. His family told me that if I spoke harshly at this time, it would only push him further away and closer to that girl. I thought about it and realized they were right, so I took the initiative and fought for our relationship. We got back together, and he admitted his mistake and said that he was weak and couldn't resist temptation when he started working. Since then, I have always doubted him, and it's exhausting. Sometimes I think about breaking up, but I don't want to let go. Sometimes when I ask him about the other girl, he gets annoyed, and even after he came back, she still sends him messages. He wants to call her and break things off, but he doesn't want me to listen. The fact that I saw his reply to her message without cutting off contact makes me certain that something happened between them. Later, whenever I thought about this matter, I felt sad, but luckily I managed to get through it. Whether to break up or not depends on your boyfriend's current attitude and whether you can accept this stain. If you were to get a new boyfriend, would you start suspiciously doubting again? If you still have doubts, you will still be miserable. It's better to let this stain pass with your current boyfriend, provided that he admits his mistake and has a good attitude, and nothing substantial happened between them.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 3423
       },
       {
        "question": "I think people are really complicated, I don't know how to get along with them. What should I do?",
        "description": "Lately, I really feel more and more at a loss on how to get along with the people around me. It seems like my friends are gradually ignoring and distancing themselves from me, but I don't know why. When I am with them, I always consider their emotions, their thoughts, and what they want to do, and I feel like I have been doing my best. However, they are still slowly starting to distance themselves and ignore me. I don't really understand what else I should do. It truly feels difficult and exhausting to be a person.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It is more difficult to \"be yourself\" than to \"be human.\" The OP said that when they are with friends, they always use their friends' emotions and thoughts as their own behavioral standards, but the result is gradually being alienated and ignored by their friends, which they find confusing and exhausting. The OP obviously did not realize the problem with their behavior pattern. The OP can recall a scene of themselves and their friends getting along and take a bystander's perspective to see where they were in that scene. Naturally, there is an OP there in physical space, but if you look closely at the space of interpersonal communication, it is almost impossible to find traces of the OP's presence because they have perfectly hidden themselves. In other words, when the OP is interacting with friends, they \"deliberately\" make others ignore their existence. When the OP\u2019s friends have become accustomed to ignoring the OP, the manifestation in real life is naturally the neglect and alienation of the OP. And when the OP's friends start to neglect and distance themselves from the OP, the OP cannot effectively hide \"themselves\" anymore, so they start to feel uncomfortable and ignored, and begin to feel confused. Therefore, what the OP needs to do now is not to seek the attention of friends, but to first see themselves. Only when the OP is no longer a role that should be ignored in their own consciousness can they effectively change their current situation in real life. This pattern of the OP comes largely from their experience of being constantly ignored when they were growing up. Because they have always been neglected, they have accumulated a lot of helplessness, powerlessness, and anger. The OP needs to first see themselves being neglected all the time, and then release those pent-up negative emotions such as helplessness, powerlessness, anger, etc. in order to break the \"compulsive repetition\" of \"always being ignored.\" When the OP's ingrained behavior pattern is broken and a new behavior pattern is established, the OP will definitely gain new understanding of how to get along with others. Hope this can be helpful to the OP.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear poster. Hugs to you. Many times as we go through life, we find that many friends gradually drift away and we have less contact with them. When we go to college, we slowly lose contact with some of our high school friends, leaving only one or two with whom we occasionally talk. After college, the classmates we lived with each go their separate ways, and contact diminishes as well. At work, relationships with our colleagues are all good, but when we change jobs and try to stay in touch, we feel that they are not quite the same as before. We are always meeting people as we grow, and losing people, but there will always be a few who stay by your side. Growing up is full of curiosity, but it can also be mischievous at times, often playing jokes that hurt others. These jokes help us see who people truly are, and in the process, we lose some but keep a few. Don't be afraid. I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "I can perceive the idea that the questioner wants to get along well with the people around them. Indeed, having good interpersonal relationships can make people feel happy. Therefore, most people want to get along well with those around them. When interacting with others, we always consider their emotions and thoughts, prioritizing their needs. You may feel that you have done enough, but people still distance themselves from you and overlook you. It can feel helpless. However, does making friends always require accommodating others? When a person completely accommodates others, is it still a relationship between two individuals? Both you and the other person may end up bearing too much pressure, and naturally, the relationship will not be comfortable. Only when two individuals are independent can it be a healthy relationship, right? Best wishes! Karen.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello. Darling, maybe it's because you do too well and ignore your own inner needs a bit. You have a tendency to please others, so you feel exhausted in interpersonal relationships. And indeed, this makes it easy for others to overlook you, giving you a low sense of presence and making you more vulnerable to being bullied or scapegoated. However, one advantage of this is that kind-hearted you will make genuine friends, as long as you can distinguish between the pros and cons, and determine if the other person is worth your investment. In everyday social interactions, before agreeing to anything that requires your time and energy, you might as well not rush to agree and instead ask yourself: Do I really want to spend time and effort on this? Do I have other arrangements? How do I feel about doing this in my heart? Am I happy about it, or do I feel reluctant and troubled? For example, if others ask you to go out and play on the weekend, but you had originally planned to go home. 1. If after asking your inner self, you feel more inclined to go out with everyone, then agree. The premise of agreeing to others is: this is your own choice, and this choice will not make you feel resentful. 2. If after asking your inner self, you feel going home is a better choice for you, then tell everyone: \"I'm sorry, although I really want to go, I already have plans for the weekend. Let's make plans for another time.\" 3. If your inner self is at a loss and unable to make a decision for the moment, you can say: \"I can't confirm whether I can go or not yet, I might have other things to do on the weekend. Let me confirm and reply to you as soon as possible.\" Take care of yourself first, bravely and politely refuse to do things that you are unwilling to do. Then, care for and take care of others, so as not to become a \"people-pleaser\" who doesn't take initiative in anything, and not become a transparent person where all your efforts are taken for granted and overlooked by others.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In relationships, if someone doesn't have their own needs and only considers others' emotions and thoughts, doing whatever others want them to do, it won't make others feel comfortable. People who appear to only give without having needs themselves actually have more and deeper needs than others. Those deep needs, to be seen and fulfilled, can put a lot of pressure on others. Relationships should be mutually satisfying. Today, you satisfy me and tomorrow, I satisfy you. It's an exchange that makes everyone comfortable. If you don't speak up, express yourself, or make any demands, expecting others to take care of your feelings without getting any feedback, they will have to guess and not know for sure. They won't understand why you are even with them, which can be exhausting. That's why others may distance themselves from you. If you want friends, first recognize that you have such high expectations for yourself as well as others. Once you see this, you won't put all these expectations on others and slowly bring them back to yourself. When you need less from others, it becomes easier to build relationships. Wishing you well, Zhang Jinping, a mental health counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, friend! Reading your description, I want to give you a hug. It seems like you have a longing for friends and hope to have someone who cares about your feelings. I hope we can become closer to each other! Based on your description, it seems that you are a sensitive person. You feel that you have done well in being a friend, but still haven't received their response. You may wonder if they are distancing themselves from you, unwilling to pay attention to you. Maybe you even think that they should treat you the way you treat them - by considering your feelings. Sometimes, this kind of thinking can make you feel unappreciated, uncared for, and misunderstood. You dislike this kind of dynamic between friends.\n\nI'm not sure how you define friends. If you feel that friends must respond to you whenever you reach out and they should be there for you when you need them, that might be a demand from someone who is insecure. Friends can have a pure friendship where they encourage and understand each other. However, friends also have their own daily lives and social circles. When they're together, they can chat endlessly, but when they are apart, they have their own things to attend to. We need to respect that. Sometimes, it's not that the feelings between individuals have become weaker, but rather that they have other things to do besides each other, like family or children. We can try to learn to respect each other. The lack of communication doesn't mean the other person doesn't care about you, and not responding immediately doesn't mean they want to distance themselves from you. It's just that everyone has their own way of living, and you can't expect everyone to be the same. Some people are slow to warm up, and some people don't like looking at their phones. In that case, we can think that they are busy and don't have time to respond to me because they might actually be busy! Try to think from a different perspective, and you may discover a different life and different viewpoints. Your focus should also return to yourself. When you learn to love yourself, others will love you more! The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1235
       },
       {
        "question": "Always thinking about him, but dreaming about someone else, why?",
        "description": "Recently, I have been involved in emotional entanglements with a guy. Every time we have sweet moments, I dream sweet dreams at night, and when we fight, I have anxious dreams. But what's strange is that the person in my dreams is never him, but other guys whom I am not in contact with much. In the past, I used to dream about whoever I liked. Why is it happening like this now?",
        "keywords": "Romance, infatuation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! @We often find that dreams are colorful and often do not align with reality. Sometimes, dreams can be vivid, like a science fiction movie. Of course, we also have dreams that reflect our daily experiences. Dreams are so mysterious and profound that people have been studying and exploring their meanings since ancient times. @If you try to understand dreams, you will realize that most of our dreams are wrapped in layers. Superficial dreams may have just a few layers, while complex dreams are like layers of an onion. \u25cbFreud believed that dreams stem from our desires. Jung believed that dreams have a compensatory nature and can convey important messages to us. (This situation probably applies to you.) Adler believed that the main function of dreams is problem-solving, providing a positive outcome. Overall, these theories suggest that dreams are related to our subconscious and understanding your dreams is like glimpsing a corner of the iceberg, helping you understand yourself. @Dream processing involves four mechanisms: condensation, displacement, representation, and secondary elaboration. People or objects in your dreams generally have symbolic meanings. For example, dreaming of a house may symbolize your inner self. Dreaming of a person may imply someone you have in mind. Symbolic meanings can vary for different individuals due to cultural differences, mindset differences, or gender differences, resulting in different interpretations of symbols. \u25cbYou mentioned that you are currently experiencing relationship troubles. I think that may be why you are feeling fearful or avoidant, perhaps even afraid of seeing that person. So, in your dreams, that person cannot simply appear directly, but instead takes on the identity of someone else. If you observe carefully, you will find that the person you dream about is not unrelated to the person you have in mind. Let me give you an example: I had a falling out with a friend, and our relationship became strained. One day, we both coincidentally encountered each other on our way home. Initially, we both pretended not to see each other and planned to just pass each other by. Perhaps both of us hesitated, and it became extremely awkward when we reached the point where we couldn't avoid a confrontation. I wanted to quickly walk away, but at that moment, someone with the other person greeted me (we also knew each other). Even though I usually don't think about this person, I knew deep down that I wanted to reconcile. But what could I do? I even dreamt about it, but in my dream, it was the person who greeted me. At first, I was confused until I looked up some information about dreams. I thought, \"Oh, this probably represents the desire I long for!\" Unfortunately, we never reconciled. Despite not having an obvious connection in dreams like my example, there are instances where a child dreams about a caterpillar wearing a hat. Upon deeper analysis, it was discovered that he was referring to someone he disliked because he noticed the hat resembled that person's. @I think what you want to ask is not about interpreting dreams, but how to resolve your issues. Your dream tells you that you value this relationship. So why not find an opportunity to have a good conversation? Perhaps it is time to address and resolve the problem. The world is loving and supportive of you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend: Hello, I saw you talking about dreams and I was wondering why the person in your dream is not your current partner. Dreaming is related to the subconscious and reflects our daily activities and inner desires. In dreams, there are no restrictions, so whatever thoughts you have, there will be corresponding images and emotions. [First], when you have had a sweet and wonderful relationship with a past boyfriend, you may dream about him. This reflects that thoughts during the day manifest in dreams at night. Daytime activities and nighttime emotions come out in the subconscious. [Second], if you are involved in a new romantic situation but dream about being sweet with someone else, it indicates that your current partner cannot meet your requirements. Your unfulfilled needs are entrusted to someone else who can satisfy them. Or it may indicate that your needs have not been satisfied for a long time, and your subconscious is telling you that you have a wish or a need that you want to fulfill. [Third], this shows that you need to understand your deeper desires, or perhaps you really need to communicate with your current partner and find ways to make the relationship more harmonious and satisfying. This is a minor issue, it's nothing serious. Since you are in a relationship, it's best to honestly communicate your needs to each other and have a good conversation. Best wishes! Your friend, Audrey.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my words can be helpful to you. Recently, I have had some emotional entanglements with a guy. In the past, I would dream about the person I had feelings for, but now I dream about other unrelated people. I want to know if it's because of the recent emotional conflicts that I haven't been dreaming about the guy I like, or if I have never dreamt about him since being together with him. In the past, I would dream about the person I liked, but now I haven't dreamt about the person I like. There could be several possibilities: you dreamt about him but have forgotten. According to modern psychology, dreams, as a form of conscious experience, can be forgotten. You feel like you haven't dreamt about him, but it's possible that you actually dreamt about him but forgot by the time morning arrived. Real-life suppression and escapism in dreams are stored in memory units that correspond to neurons in the brain. Dreams are a weakened conditioned reflex. Since you mentioned \"having some emotional entanglements with a guy recently,\" the person appearing in your dreams might not be him. It's possible that in real life, you don't feel secure about this guy yet, and subconsciously fear any unpleasant experiences with him, choosing to escape instead. Being too concerned, there is a possibility that because you are overly concerned, you really want to meet him in dreams, whether inside or outside of dreams. However, because you are overly concerned, it's like the \"Valenda effect\" - the more you try to succeed, the bigger the failure. Similarly, being too focused on the outcome, your mind is filled with thoughts of the final result, which often goes against your wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "The question posed by the OP is interesting. Dreams can be seen as the release of subconscious self's current pressure and the reflection of emotional feelings. They are also related to current experiences and past experiences, mixed together to satisfy the needs of the subconscious self. Previously, the OP used to dream about someone they liked, but now they constantly dream about someone they used to like. On one hand, this is because there are some differences and changes in the OP's attitude towards relationships compared to before. The OP's age and past experiences influence their perception and expectations of relationships, which can lead to more conflicts in current relationships compared to before. On the other hand, the OP's dreams also reflect the issues in their current relationship. Just like the OP mentioned, dreaming sweet dreams during sweet moments and having anxious dreams during arguments. Dreaming about the previous person they liked represents a denial of the current person and a denial of the relationship. These issues make the OP feel helpless and unsure of what to do, instinctively reminiscing about past relationship experiences to satisfy their emotional needs. Perhaps the OP's inner self is more negative, believing they lack the strength to face and solve these problems, and therefore want to escape from them. However, if the problems are not resolved, they will continue to accumulate and eventually become issues that must be addressed. At that point, the pressure will be even greater. Accepting and facing these problems with an open mind, expressing one's true thoughts and feelings, is not as scary as it may seem.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10065
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the psychological factor when a leader argues with someone and then feels an urge to work harder themselves?",
        "description": "Yesterday, due to work requirements, I arranged for an employee to do a task that she had not done before. She was unwilling and immediately said, \"I'm busy every day, and now you added more work. What about my salary?\" The leader replied on the spot, \"We are a private school, and work is something we all do together. Although the salary may not be high, it is still acceptable. If you don't want to do it, you can look for higher-paying jobs elsewhere!\" I don't know why, but the next day I really wanted to do more work! I thought if the workload really came to me, I wouldn't be able to handle it! Later, when I calmed down, I wondered what I was doing. Was I afraid of being fired? Or trying to prove that I'm better than others? Seeking approval? A sense of boundarylessness?",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, workplace relationships, work stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: Actually, everyone wants to fulfill their own value, just like if you are a boy, you will pursue a successful career. Most boys are proud and hope to have their own realm in their careers. Girls also want to achieve their own value. After all, most girls dislike being called vase and want to prove their abilities through practical actions. Girls' strengths are not just in appearance, but also in professional abilities. This is not blindly pleasing others, at least you are doing it for yourself, or because you want to create value, so you please yourself and comply with yourself. Perhaps you are particularly averse to people who shirk responsibility, and the supervisor's words indeed inspire everyone's initiative. A truly good leader respects the value and choices of employees. I believe in your leader, although he may be strict in some situations, he is mostly calm and can listen to reasonable opinions from subordinates. - The leader said, \"It's okay, if I can't handle it, I will tell you and ask for your help.\" I think this kind of leader has a distinctive style of a general, comforting your uneasiness and giving you an opportunity to showcase yourself in the future. Is he the one who appears to be the most leisurely, but in reality, he shoulders more responsibility and workload than ordinary employees? Some leaders demand strictness from others because they hope their subordinates can create value that is even better than theirs and have higher expectations for the next generation, which inevitably makes us feel under immense pressure. ~ ~ Opportunities are all fought for by ourselves. As the saying goes, \"The crying baby gets candy.\" Although you may have suspicions of showing off and flaunting in front of others, those who truly understand you will always respect your value and give you more platforms. Perhaps you are not entirely wrong to worry. This world already has too many demands and restrictions on female workers. From the perspective of enterprises, they will need people who actively contribute, and male employees have smaller costs and can handle more physical labor. And the supervisor shouldn't demand too much from a girl, as it is neither ethical nor classy. Plus, girls have their own families, and at certain stages, because the woman focuses on the family, she may not be able to handle work matters very well. I think you should feel fortunate. Very few managers genuinely sympathize with people, can think from others' perspectives, and are good at encouraging and comforting others. The employees who work in a 996 or 007 work schedule cannot experience the happiness that you have!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When making decisions, people are always influenced by multiple factors. For example, as for the reasons you reflected on, it's likely that they all existed at the time, but it's hard to determine their respective proportions. Apart from the main factor that led to your decision, I am also curious why you are reflecting on this behavior. Based on your description, it seems that you regret your action because you can assess the impact of taking on this job. Regret often stems from non-acceptance, but there are two types of non-acceptance in this matter: 1. You do not accept the workload after taking on those tasks, 2. You do not accept the behavior of taking on those tasks voluntarily. I guess these might be the reasons for your self-reflection. As for the main factors that led to your voluntary acceptance of the job, personally, if you really want to figure it out, you may need to analyze not just this case. For example, if there have been previous cases of employees being fired in the company, the fear of being dismissed may be the main factor this time; or if there have been multiple occasions before when others made requests and you never refused, regardless of the difficulty, weak boundaries may be the main factor this time. As for \"appearing better than others\" being the main factor, personally, I tend to think that you wouldn't bring up this question if it were. When encountering a situation that needs to be analyzed, you can recall how the person involved reacted in similar events in the past; you can also think about what events have happened recently that may have had an impact on the person involved. It is difficult to analyze the essence of a matter independently.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2542
       },
       {
        "question": "Studying abroad for undergraduate degree, feeling confused about both learning and emotions, having difficulty falling asleep every day.",
        "description": "Studying for my undergraduate degree abroad, but because it was all online courses during this period, I feel confused about what I have learned. It's also difficult to communicate with classmates. Being stuck at home makes me feel depressed. And I have encountered some issues with my girlfriend back in China... It's hard to fall asleep every day.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotion regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! It seems like you have been experiencing a process of \"nervousness-anxiety-adaptation-irritation\" during the COVID-19 pandemic, when you can only attend online classes at home. You may currently be in an \"irritated\" state, which can leave you feeling a bit overwhelmed and unsure of what to do, causing confusion. The issues you are experiencing in your relationship with your girlfriend have further intensified your anxiety. Let me throw a few questions at you, and you can take some time to reflect on them:\n\n1. Have you ever made plans for your future life or set goals for yourself?\n2. Are the problems between you and your girlfriend due to external factors or are they caused by your emotions?\n\nRegarding your current confusion, here's my understanding:\n\n1. If you have previously set goals and made plans for your life, your current confusion may be due to the disruption caused by the pandemic, leading to a temporary feeling of being lost. During a state of crisis like the pandemic, feeling lost and experiencing anxiety is a normal emotional response. Your classmates may be going through similar emotions as well. Try creating a schedule for yourself, organizing your daily tasks, and following the plan. This can help alleviate your current anxiety.\n\n2. If you haven't set goals or made plans for your life before, your current confusion can be seen as a sign of growth. You are beginning to consider the social responsibilities you will undertake and the roles you will play in the future. This is a necessary stage of self-identity development. \"Self-identity\" refers to having a clear understanding of the responsibilities and roles one will take on in society. Before achieving self-identity, there will inevitably be a stage of confusion. The aforementioned schedule can also be helpful in this situation. While exploring your self-identity, the most important thing is to focus on living in the present moment and completing your current tasks. Continuously develop your abilities and skills, so that when you eventually figure out what you want to do, you will have the resources to pursue your dreams.\n\nRegarding the issues between you and your girlfriend:\n1. If the problems arose due to certain events between the two of you, redirect your primary focus on solving those issues together. You and your girlfriend are a team, and you need to confront the situation together. Try discussing the current issues with your girlfriend and brainstorming possible solutions.\n\n2. If the problems between you two are primarily caused by your current state of anxiety, focus on dealing with your own emotions. Try to manage your emotions gradually through the suggested schedule and actively communicate your current emotional state to your girlfriend. Believe that she will understand and support you through this emotional phase.\n\nI hope these suggestions can be helpful to you. Remember, the world and I care about you. All the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! First of all, when the novelty of being far away from home fades away, the feelings of homesickness start to spread. Those who haven't left their hometowns may not understand this feeling, but it's truly painful and there's no one to talk to. Even if there are people around to chat with, they may not be close enough to really understand or help. Secondly, when you're not in a good mood, it tends to show in your words and actions. It can affect your normal thinking and communication when interacting with others. I suggest focusing on your studies since not everyone has the opportunity to study abroad. Seize the opportunity to broaden your knowledge and make yourself more competitive in the future! I'm not sure which country you're in, but if possible, you can go for a run, ride a bike, play sports, etc. It can help expend physical and mental energy, which aids sleep. Drinking a cup of warm milk before bed can also help with sleep. You can also try relaxation therapy or guided hypnosis on your own, without the need for a professional therapist. Regarding social relationships, it is recommended to comply with the pandemic prevention regulations of the country you're in. Try to minimize direct contact and use online means for communication. Make new friends and develop hobbies in your free time, which can be achieved through online platforms since online communication is safer.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19252
       },
       {
        "question": "Do I have a mental disorder if I have developed a habit of masturbation and often feel lonely and yawn frequently?",
        "description": "When I was a child, I was very scared of the dark and ghosts. It made my whole body stiff, and I developed a habit of masturbation. As I grew older, I needed to read some erotic stories to reach climax. It happens at most once or twice a month, and afterwards I feel very guilty and frustrated. Now in my 30s, I often feel lonely, yawn frequently, and have trouble concentrating. I wonder if it's because of masturbation. I feel like I might be mentally abnormal and will be abandoned by society and live out my old age alone.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, sexual desire, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't have much information about you, but I'll try to respond to you: 1) It is completely normal to masturbate 1-2 times a month for any reason, so there is no need to feel guilty or frustrated. It is a natural human need, and the way you satisfy it doesn't affect others. Masturbation is not something to be ashamed of, you know? 2) As you grow older, you may need some erotic content to reach climax. It's like eating the same food for a long time and not feeling the same enjoyment. Erotic content may just be a different chef that enhances sexual arousal, and it is normal. 3) At 30 years old, feeling lonely, frequently yawning, and unable to concentrate. Masturbation is not to blame for these issues. So, you need to think about why you feel lonely. Don't you have any colleagues or friends? As for the lack of concentration, it may be related to your internal struggle, for example, feeling that masturbation is not good and should be avoided, but unable to resist the urge. 4) Do you feel like you have a mental disorder and worry about being abandoned by society when you grow old? I cannot see any abnormality, but if you constantly feel lonely, it would be a good idea to seek help from a mental health counselor to understand why you feel this way. In conclusion, it is necessary to consider your physical health, emotional state, work, and overall life situation to make a preliminary evaluation. However, considering your self-blame and guilt for many years, as well as your current feelings at the age of 30, I believe it would be beneficial for you to seek psychological counseling.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems like you are feeling bored with your life, without any feelings of joy or excitement. Masturbation provides a physical experience and stimulation that may be lacking in your daily life, which is why you turn to it as a way to release your inner loneliness. There is no right or wrong in this matter, as sexual desire is a natural human need. It is normal to satisfy yourself when you have the urge. There is no need to judge your actions. However, relying solely on this method to feel alive and stimulated is something that you need to face and adjust. If there is something else that makes you feel alive, happy, and energized, something that brings fulfillment and joy to your life, would you still choose masturbation as a way to stimulate yourself? I believe not. What you need to change is your state of life, as it is not directly related to masturbation. Find activities that make you feel good, do what you enjoy as much as possible, exercise regularly, and let the energy of life shift from sexual satisfaction to heartfelt experiences. Sex can then become the most wonderful experience in life. I wish you the best in reconnecting with your inner feelings.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9193
       },
       {
        "question": "As an exam retaker for the college entrance examination (gaokao), how can I make myself passionate every day?",
        "description": "After experiencing a failed college entrance exam, every day during the summer vacation, I didn't know which direction I should move in and felt very lost in life. The university I wanted to attend is also a bit far from where I am, and I don't know what I should do next!",
        "keywords": "Growing up, stress management, work and study, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, give up the idea that nobody can be passionate every day, especially when it comes to something that repeats daily. It is okay to maintain a stable state, and it is already good enough to work five days and rest for three days. Secondly, don't set a goal that is too distant as it may have some motivating effects, but the side effects can be significant, such as continuous anxiety. It is recommended to set periodic major directions, such as learning English. For example, \"spend 2-4 weeks going through English grammar, practice areas that are weaker\" can be a phased direction. Then, move forward in this direction every day. If you make more progress on a certain day, you can give yourself a small reward. If you make less progress on another day, there is no need to be disheartened. There may be many factors affecting the results. Summarize the progress made and the lessons learned every week or two. In this way, one will feel grounded, and the ultimate result will be determined by oneself (often better than expected because we tend to underestimate the power of accumulation over time).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14201
       },
       {
        "question": "Having gone through a period of being in a manipulative relationship, how do I move on from thinking about my ex?",
        "description": "I am Les, 24 years old. In May this year, the girl I confessed to ten years ago contacted me and said she wanted to meet me. Later on, our relationship developed into a sexual one without a defined commitment. I discovered that this person inherently likes to belittle me and elevate herself. She has better financial conditions and always wants me to provide her with certain items. I also realized that she takes pleasure in seeing me upset and angry. I went to the hospital and confirmed that I have symptoms of depression. The girl who contacted me turned out to be a pickup artist (PUA). I feel uneasy during the time spent with this PUA, and I often think about my first girlfriend as an adult. I remember the comforting words she said and the things she did that appealed to me when we were dating. However, it has been five years since we broke up. In the past, I used to sleep better by holding onto my ex, but after the breakup, I started hugging my pillow instead. These past few days, I've been playing the sound of a girl breathing and spraying a perfume on my pillow that smells similar to my ex's shampoo. In the middle of the night, I keep thinking about the kind words my ex said to me, and I end up crying uncontrollably. Emotionally, I want to privately discuss and write a short essay to send to my ex, talking about this PUA situation and expressing my gratitude to her for something. But rationally, I tell myself, \"This could be bothersome for her, and maybe she won't even read it.\" Currently, I am still somewhat rational and I want everyone to help me analyze what information my displayed emotions and behaviors are trying to convey to me.",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, attachment and dependence, sense of security.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Your current girlfriend loves to belittle you, cannot understand your feelings, and has materialistic needs. When compared to your ex-girlfriend, the \"good\" of your ex-girlfriend becomes evident. This is what we often say, \"Not knowing the true face of Mount Lu, only wishing to be born in this mountain.\" Without loss or comparison, one would not know their true needs. Being with your ex-girlfriend provided a sense of security, being able to sleep peacefully, and reminiscing about her scent. These all indicate a deep attachment established between you and your ex-girlfriend. But love is complicated. You have already been separated for 5 years, things have changed, and people have changed. Being immersed in memories and longing for the past would make you neglect the desire and anticipation for a better life in the present. The past was so beautiful, yet you didn't grasp it, and you have been plagued by self-blame for a long time. Now, your current girlfriend is also dissatisfied. Am I just inadequate... In this state of mind, your self-worth will continue to diminish, leading to depression. To overcome depression, first, we must face reality. How do we face reality? It is important to change our mindset. What have you learned from each relationship? What are the main takeaways? By comparing your two girlfriends, you can summarize what kind of person is right for you: someone who understands, empathizes, and can soothe your emotions, someone who is financially independent... Understanding your specific needs is essential for choosing friends and finding your ideal partner. It also enables you to face temptations, such as sex. Every experience is a chance for growth, not for regret. In the process of being together, effort should be mutual. We not only hope for the other person to act a certain way but also need to make our own contributions to the relationship. Regularly ask yourself, while being in a relationship, if you treat the other person as you would like to be treated. Do you acknowledge their strengths and virtues as you want them to see yours? Do you offer support, encouragement, and compliments? Do you display understanding and acceptance when they are upset? If we can achieve these things, we can believe that the other person can too. Here are a few suggestions about depression: exercise more, engage in a favorite physical activity consistently. Exercise generates chemicals that bring joy and can alleviate moods. Cultivate interests and hobbies, divert attention, and discover the beauty in life. Think more about the good life that lies ahead.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend: I saw your personal experience and feel sorry for you. Love is supposed to bring joy, but it has brought you depression because of PUA. I hope you can overcome this darkness soon. The need behind your behavior is actually a lack of security. You want to escape the security issues you don't want to face by reminiscing about past relationships. Spraying the other person's perfume and constantly simulating their presence is to chase after the happiness they once gave you. And these happy memories can make you forget about the security issues you've been trying to avoid. The fact that you are still holding on even though it has been several years since the breakup shows that you have signs of addiction. You lack security and want to fill yourself up through new relationships, but this kind of demanding attitude makes you vulnerable to PUA. They will use your weakness - being addicted to the security that relationships give you - to make you do things against your will, like providing material needs to the other person, just so you can continue feeling a semblance of security. Continuing to be addicted may make you continue to be controlled in relationships. Therefore, finding ways to increase your sense of security and letting go of addictive behaviors is the best solution. [First of all], understand that the most stable sense of security is not given to you by the external world, but it is gained through connecting with everything in the universe and exploring it through your inner self. I suggest you try meditation to heal your sense of security. [Secondly], living in the present moment is what gives you strength, not past memories. If you still think about the other person's tenderness when it's late at night, it may temporarily alleviate your dependence, but in the long run, it will have an impact and prevent you from truly loving yourself. Understanding this, at least, can help you stop relying on addiction and bring yourself back to the present moment. [Thirdly], learn to love yourself. It's not just the outside world that can make you feel loved, but you can do so yourself. The sweet words you used to like to hear, you can say them to yourself and try to feel the love that you give. The things you used to do with your partner, you can do them for yourself as well, but the object of giving and receiving is yourself. [Fourthly], be grateful for yourself. Gratitude is a good way to see the power of your own love. Because you appreciate yourself, you realize that you also have this strength and ability. [Fifthly], gradually reduce the cravings. If you suddenly reduce them, you may feel uncomfortable, so you can gradually reduce them to allow your heart to adapt. [Sixth], formally mourn. When you are ready, you can have a ritual to mourn this relationship. Throw away the things associated with the other person, most importantly, eliminate the sense of dependence on them. The benefit of mourning is that it formally declares to yourself that you are cutting off ties with this person and moving forward. During the mourning period, you can let yourself grieve fully because all the pain and sadness are reasonable during this time. Give yourself a deadline, then gather your emotions and welcome the future. A person who excessively relies on a crutch forgets that they can walk with their own two feet. Someone who overly depends on others for love forgets how to love themselves. So you need to practice more and let go of excessive dependence and obsession with your partner, and become confident and strong yourself. Best wishes! Your friend: Audrey.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Whether it's dealing with exes or female online friends, you seem to be more passive in relationships. When the things they say and do make you feel uncomfortable and belittled, you think back to the reassuring words and actions of your ex that made you feel secure. Through their behaviors, you vaguely express your inner needs: to be acknowledged and cared for. However, it seems that you can't directly articulate these needs yourself. Instead of expressing your preferences, you hope that others will intuitively understand and fulfill them, which is a more dependent state. This is why you become so attached to people who can satisfy you. If you constantly feel that your needs have to be fulfilled by someone else externally, it will leave you feeling powerless. By analyzing your own needs through external reactions, and then further satisfying yourself and learning to express yourself to others, without demanding, you will gradually gain more strength. Wishing you well, Zhang Jinping, a counseling psychologist.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1427
       },
       {
        "question": "I cry over little things, why am I always so prone to crying?",
        "description": "I cry over little things (\u00b4;\ufe35;`) like not being able to solve difficult problems. I try to control my tears, but I find that I can't.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I also feel helpless and sad, and even have self-blame. First of all, I want to tell you that this is closely related to your recent state. You may have really encountered some difficulties that make it difficult for you to suppress your sad emotions. Maybe you think \"I can bear it a little longer\", but your body is clearly expressing to you that it is already overwhelmed. Because you are really sad now, you have really endured a lot in your heart, so you can't control your tears and keep expressing your grievances and sadness. You feel like you can cry over small things, but what's wrong with crying? This might be the time when you need to cry. However, you also need to explore your own thoughts and needs. You can communicate more with people around you, the company of family or friends is also important, or you can seek professional psychological help. But don't hide it all by yourself. Hope this helps you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1935
       },
       {
        "question": "My father had an affair, should my mother get a divorce? Is that the best choice?",
        "description": "My dad is addicted to extramarital affairs and can't change. Over the years, he has been involved with multiple women. But in other aspects, he is good. He gives his salary to my mom (while secretly keeping some money for himself and spending it on the other women). He doesn't smoke or drink alcohol and doesn't have any other vices. He respects and tolerates my mom at home and also helps with household chores. In short, apart from being promiscuous outside, he doesn't have any other flaws. Regardless of any psychological issues my dad may have. However, he doesn't agree to divorce and is very willing to live with us. But he can't control himself and always secretly cheats with other women. My mom doesn't know if she should divorce my dad. If my dad can never change this flaw and my mom can't accept it, is divorce the right choice? Is it the best option?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, infidelity, sex life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, because of my dad's affair, there's a question of whether my mom should divorce him. I feel that you are very concerned about my mom and also want to help share her worries. I don't know your age, but I see that you're already prepared to shoulder my mother's pain. It hurts my heart, so here's a warm hug for you, you child who loves your mom. I see that you say my dad is good in all other aspects except for his addiction to affairs. You have acceptance in your heart for my dad and also see that he can respect and tolerate my mom, do housework, and so on. Or perhaps, this is the reason why my mom can't decide whether to divorce? The emotional state between my dad and mom, maybe only they themselves truly know. My dad doesn't agree to divorce and is very willing to live with you all, which shows that your family also gives him a sense of comfort and belonging. You and my mom are very attractive and easy to identify with, so my dad can't leave the family. But do they really need to divorce? When should they divorce? I think it's still a life issue that they must face themselves. And what you can do is to accompany my mom and see how difficult it is for her. Also, recognize my dad's contributions to this family. The relationship between my dad and mom has many feelings that cannot be explained clearly to their children. This is the reality that children should see. I think whether they divorce or not, the best choice should be made by them! Wishing you well, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I sympathize with you, sending you a hug. Regarding the issue you mentioned about whether or not to divorce in the case of an affair, if we approach it as a topic for discussion, I can confidently give you an answer. However, since it involves your parents, I believe there are other factors to consider. In psychology, we don't provide answers; we help you think and find your own answers because the answer always lies within oneself. Psychology also doesn't give you an answer or make decisions for you. It's a matter of principle. \"He gives his salary to my mom. Doesn't smoke or drink, has no other bad habits. He respects and accommodates my mom at home and does some household chores.\" Looking at these aspects alone, your father is a good man. He is a good husband and perhaps a good father. However, he has committed a fatal issue of principle. Infidelity can be acceptable zero times or countless times. This is indeed a matter of principle and cannot be forgiven. But we must also examine the specific reasons and analyze them. We should also consider where his heart lies, whether it's with the family or outside. One more important point is the status of your parents' relationship. Is it very solid and good? Perhaps you need to take your father for psychological counseling or therapy, or even do couples therapy, as this issue is definitely with your father. However, if he refuses, it will be relatively difficult. Another attitude you may need to express to your mother is as follows: 1. You are aware of the situation, 2. She shouldn't worry about it affecting you, 3. It's okay, 4. You still love them, 5. But you love her more, 6. You want her to be happy, 7. So whether she divorces or not is her own decision, a matter of their relationship, 8. Regardless of divorce, they will always be your parents, 9. You will always love them. You need to stand by your mother's side and support her, otherwise, she will be alone and without support. Sending you a hug, wishing you the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "My suggestion is that you talk to a trusted older relative who has a good relationship with your parents and have them communicate with your parents and suggest doing systematic family therapy. Because in the family, you are just a child, if you try to communicate this issue with your parents, they may reject or even oppose it. But if a older relative in the family suggests it, they may be more likely to accept it to some extent. Secondly, let's talk about your father's behavior. Normally, we all have something or someone that serves as the \"third party\" in our lives, whether it's work or hobbies for men, or family and children for women. Why am I mentioning this? It's because in your description, your father firstly doesn't have his own hobbies or interests, his life revolves around work and family, and secondly, he has a relationship with someone else. Of course, this is just a speculation, it's possible that your father is not fulfilling his own needs in the family. This possibility is relatively small because your father is not willing to destroy the family relationship. All of the above are just speculations, so it's important to seek professional help and undergo systematic family therapy to find out why such things are happening.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5141
       },
       {
        "question": "A freshman girl feels that her mother lacks ambition, what should she do?",
        "description": "Mom's job is relatively easy and she has a lot of free time, but she always likes to spend it on browsing social media. I always suggest that she read more books, newspapers, and learn English (learning English was her own idea, but she didn't persist), and not constantly focus on other people's lives on her phone. However, she always finds excuses and says she is busy every day, which always leads to arguments. I don't want to argue with her, I just hope she can continue learning. My mother lacks motivation, so how can I persuade her to make a change?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication, and the process of growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's talk and analyze together: #My mother lacks ambition, how can I persuade her to change?# From this sentence, I perceive that you define your mother's behavior as lacking ambition and you want to change her. You can suggest to her to #read more books, newspapers, and learn English#. If she is willing to do this, it would be ideal, but if she is not willing, you should respect her decision. Although your intention is good for her, it might not be her current real need. If you still want to change her, your actions may cross the boundary of the relationship, which will only increase your distress. As a family member, you can make suggestions, but you do not have the authority to force her to change according to your expectations. If you forcefully change her to meet your expectations, then you are already interfering with her life. Can you understand? There are other methods to bring about change, but they are much more difficult. Would you like to try them?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2997
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I encounter a questioner who doesn't use punctuation and I don't want to answer?",
        "description": "I recently saw a few question descriptions from participants that gave me a headache. Not to mention the ones with very simple descriptions, some of them were very long paragraphs without any punctuation. It's a bit frustrating. Why don't the participants use punctuation properly?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP: I really understand your feelings. A paragraph without punctuation takes more time to read and it's not easy for us to understand what the OP wants to express. This is a gathering place for psychology enthusiasts or professionals. When we see a question from the OP, we want to help the other person and provide them with warmth. If we can't understand the question without punctuation, we will also feel anxious. Let's take a look at the possible reasons for typing without punctuation. Maybe it's the OP's habit of not using punctuation when sending WeChat or text messages. It could also be because the OP had an urgent matter when they asked the question and didn't have time to use punctuation. It's even possible that the OP was in a bad emotional state that day and didn't feel like using punctuation. Regardless of the reason, both you and the OP, as well as all of us, are here for the same reason, to communicate through words. Each of us is both the responder and the questioner. We come here to seek help and to help others. When we answer the questions from the OP, it can also help us resolve our own emotional difficulties. When we, as questioners, write a paragraph, we are the ones burdened with pressure, seeking help. Perhaps, a sentence written by someone on the other side of the screen can comfort our souls. I understand your feelings because when I answer questions, I also hope that the description of the question can be clear and well-expressed. This way, we can provide targeted help to the person. But even if it's not clear, I still hope to do my best to help the people I can help. Actually, regardless of whether there are punctuation marks in that paragraph, I think that the people who ask these questions are brave because they dare to write down their pain and sadness in words and courageously seek help from the outside world. And I believe that we should also give more patience and care to the people who ask these questions, because behind the words, they are all individuals with feelings of sadness and loneliness, people who hope to receive help. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! I completely understand your feelings, and I also get a little frustrated with questions that have no punctuation. It's quite an interesting question, and my first reaction is that if you don't want to answer, you don't have to. As for why there are questions with absolutely no punctuation, there could be several reasons, and it's hard to generalize. Following the principle of \"separating the project\" (cough...), I'll just talk about this issue from the perspective of an answerer. I believe that every answerer chooses to answer questions for their own reasons. It could be because they want to help others, they have solid expertise in the subject matter, they want to achieve self-help in this way, or they seek recognition and appreciation from others... Additionally, because each answerer is interested in and good at different types of questions, everyone has different schedules, energy allocations, and answering principles. Therefore, we will choose which questions to answer based on our own comprehensive situation. Now, to the point, when we, as answerers, see a question with no punctuation (or punctuation used incorrectly, or with many spelling mistakes), it can affect our decision to answer that question. You may suddenly not want to answer a question you initially wanted to answer. That's actually understandable. It's like when you take an exam and your handwriting is messy, the teacher is likely to deduct many points because of it. This point needs to be understood by the questioner. Of course, as answerers, we still hope to help as many people as possible. If we have some good advice for a particular question and if we have enough time, I'm still willing to sincerely look at that question. Let's not forget the original intention, for it defines our outcome. Because I know that when I see a question, I should think about what I can say, even if it may not be very helpful. Because I know that every person who is brave enough to ask their own question and expose their own shortcomings is incredibly courageous and deserving of admiration. Because I know that behind every seemingly simple question, there may be someone quietly enduring various pressures. As an answerer, I hope to show more respect and understanding for every question. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "As an answerer, I believe that first of all, one's intention should be correct, and one should be determined to help others from a perspective of love. When we encounter someone's question, we should first ask ourselves whether we are willing to answer this question or if we have any negative emotions such as boredom or dislike. If we do, I think it would be better not to answer the question. Because if we forcibly answer it with impatience, the answer we give to the questioner may be biased. We all have preferences and likes as well as dislikes, which is normal. The key is to find a way that satisfies both parties in order to achieve a long-lasting solution. These are personal opinions provided for reference only. Thank you for the answerer's sharing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: It seems that you are a responsible and meticulous answerer! In fact, many OPs come with anxiety, so they want to get help all at once, but they are unwilling to provide more information. There are many explanations for this: First, it could be their personality traits, being careless and not paying attention to details; Second, it could be their way of speaking, without punctuation marks, indicating their urgent anxiety, wanting to say everything at once; Third, it could be their attempt to conceal or feeling insecure due to the platform's settings, so they are not willing to expose themselves. For you, there shouldn't be much concern. Replying to questions and wanting to help someone is your personal right and freedom. If you think the lack of punctuation marks from some OPs is a problem, it may be challenging your perfectionism and causing anxiety.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm going to write down my thoughts. Usually, when I see descriptions without punctuation marks, I generally feel quite uncomfortable. I would guess that the author is going through something and their emotions are erupting at that moment. I don't think I have ever answered that kind of question because it's really difficult to accept. When I see it, I also think to myself that the author doesn't care about others' feelings. With this assumption in mind, I'm afraid I might have unconscious subjective judgments. Since I can't start getting to know the author with a blank mind, I feel that I'm not suitable for the author, at least in that specific moment. Not answering would be better for the author. I don't know under what circumstances the author wrote that paragraph. If I don't understand the situation and still force myself to accept the author, I feel fake. I want to face others sincerely. If given the opportunity to learn more about the author, I would love to share my thoughts on their continuously posted questions. Maybe my first question would be, \"What happened to you when you were writing your question without punctuation marks?\" I particularly agree with Miss Non-stop's words. The author writing their own question and showing their inner pain to others, seeking help from the outside world, takes a lot of courage. We should cherish the inner world of that stranger and maintain our admiration for them. What if you don't want to answer a question from an author who doesn't use punctuation marks? Simply don't answer. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. Haha, don't let countertransference affect your diagnosis and treatment. As a qualified psychological counselor, you need to have a strong inner self and fully respect the client. Use a continuous flow of love to dissolve the clouds in the client's heart. Repeat to yourself a few times, \"He's also not easy, sigh.\" Haha, try a few times, it's effective as tested by me. \n2. Also, everyone has different opinions on the same situation. I think it's fine, no need for punctuation, as long as it's coherent, just read it again. Hope it can help you. Feel happy every day, and the world will be yours.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20338
       },
       {
        "question": "Can't find the words to say? What could be the reason?",
        "description": "I find that sometimes I can't speak out my thoughts. For example, when the teacher asks a question, I do have thoughts in my mind, but I don't know if it's because I'm afraid of giving the wrong answer and being ridiculed, or if I think the thought is childish, so I can't say it out and can only remain silent. Sometimes, when I meet new classmates, I can't smoothly pronounce their names. It's like my voice gets stuck and can't come out. I don't know what the reason is and if it can be solved. Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when we are too concerned about what others think and their opinions, it becomes difficult for us to be at ease. This also reflects a lack of confidence and self-esteem; the more insecure we are, the more we seek validation from others and fear not receiving it. In psychology, there is a term called projection, where we project our own thoughts onto others, assuming that others think the same way we do. Therefore, people who lack confidence tend to believe that others may question them, while those who harbor animosity towards others often believe that others harbor animosity towards them as well. In reality, these are merely subjective thoughts and not facts. For example, during a class, if you answer a question, you don't know how others will react. It is just your own disbelief in yourself that leads you to assume that others might mock you or think you are childish. However, these are all subjective imaginations. So, if you want to change, you can only gradually overcome feelings of inferiority and increase your self-confidence. There is no magic solution for this, it requires slow and steady effort. You can give yourself positive self- affirmations and bravely challenge your fears. Summon the courage to act, and perhaps you will find that others' reactions are not what you imagined. When facing new classmates, because you are too worried about how others will perceive you, you become too nervous and stumble. But you should know that the other person may also be just as nervous as you are. In a Japanese drama called \"Nagi's New Life,\" the female protagonist once encountered someone she wanted to greet. She kept thinking in her mind: will I bother the other person? Will they dislike me? Later, she mustered up the courage to say hello, and to her surprise, the person was very happy. In fact, the person also wanted to get to know her, but was just too afraid to take the first step. They were delighted that she took the initiative to say hello. Even if you stumble, don't worry, just smile and you can still show warmth and goodwill, bringing you closer to the other person. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the paragraph you provided is already in English.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14245
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I control someone who tells others my privacy complaints after I confide in her?",
        "description": "I shared some private matters and complaints with a trusted person, but she told others, and I unintentionally heard it from someone else. Sometimes, I really don't know what I should say and what I shouldn't say, and I don't know who I should trust. I always worry that what I tell others will be passed on to someone else. I always feel like I don't know how to get along with the people around me.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello\uff5e I understand your feelings very well, sending you a hug\uff5e It can be really difficult when you share your privacy with someone and that person tells others about it. It does make it hard to trust others. How do you control someone who can't keep their mouth shut? I want to tell you, don't try to control or change anyone. Because they are not you, and you cannot change them. When you want to change someone, it's actually because you feel anxious, and you want to alleviate your own anxiety by changing others. But a better way is to confront your own anxiety. No matter who you tell your privacy to, there is always a risk of it being leaked. In a way, it doesn't have much to do with trusting or not trusting others. It simply means that if you are willing to trust someone, then you are willing to take on that risk. And if you don't trust someone, then you won't share those private matters. For those who leak your privacy, you should keep a distance from them. Don't let them repeatedly hurt or affect you in this way. There are definitely people in this world who are willing to keep your secrets, and there are many of them. Of course, it's still important to be cautious in what you say, unless both parties are willing to open up to each other. Best wishes\uff5e.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6210
       },
       {
        "question": "15-year-old girl, in the past few months I feel like I have a illness?",
        "description": "I feel like I have an illness, a mental illness. When I used to argue with that woman, I used to think about death and suicide, but now I can't wait for her to die or just stab him to death. I have had suicidal thoughts and even taken action, but always stopped at the last moment. It's so frustrating. He is very stubborn and nobody can change his mind. I don't want to argue with him. But I can't just let things go in one ear and out the other, I can't stay calm. He speaks very rudely and can't communicate properly. Every time we argue, it's because of something he said, and in the heat of the argument he says I want to kill him. Originally, I didn't have thoughts of killing him, but when I heard that statement, at first I was heartbroken and angry, and now I just want to get rid of him, get rid of the person who brought me into this world, I would be happy if he died. He simply doesn't believe me, doesn't agree with my thoughts, denies my dreams and passions. Our values are completely incompatible. Perhaps it's because of the significant age difference between us. I'm not unreasonable, but he just doesn't listen. I think I'm really annoyed by his pretentious concern and voice. I feel like throwing up when he argues with that high-pitched voice. Maybe I'm actually going crazy. Driven crazy. Perhaps, I really am sick? Oh, so frustrated.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the questioner~ That woman is your mother, and it seems that the conflict between you has led you to no longer see her as a mother, right? She doesn't believe your words, doesn't agree with your thoughts, denies your dreams and passions, and your values don't align. All of this makes you want the person controlling your life to disappear. Every word she says adds to your psychological burden. I want to say that many children have had the thought of making their parents disappear, for various reasons. They might even think about why their parents don't just die because they didn't give them candy. To be honest, I have also had this experience. At first, I would harm myself to calm my emotions, thinking that everyone would be better off if I died. Later, it turned into wanting my mother to die. The first time I had this thought, I was shocked. After calming down, I thought, is it really necessary to take away her life because of what I've been through? The answer is no. Although I've had a terrible upbringing, I still think about it when she goes crazy, but I have learned to control this thought because we are educated people. At fifteen years old, you should be in high school, right? High school is very stressful, not just for you, but also for your parents because they want you to have a bright future, even if it may not align with their understanding of the times. You say you can't let things go in one ear and out the other, so let's not do that. But we should try to understand that her behavior is shaped by her upbringing, and she may not be able to change instantly. So we should try to communicate with our mother. If she doesn't listen, father can help, or you can write a letter expressing your desires. After all, where there's a will, there's a way. If you really don't want to communicate, you can reduce contact. Our biggest concern should be our studies. We need to enrich our knowledge to achieve the future we desire, so we should try to avoid unnecessary arguments. If she starts scolding, let her vent. What you need to do is force yourself to look at your books during this time and suppress the urge to argue. There are many ways to solve problems, but there is never a reason to take away a life. Adjust your emotions, even if it means finding a place to cry loudly, to release your stress. Life must go on. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19110
       },
       {
        "question": "My friend is always telling me how to get along with other friends. It makes me feel uncomfortable.",
        "description": "I have a friend whom I have been friends with for about ten years, and in recent years, she always feels like she's teaching me how to get along with other friends. For example, sometimes when I'm not at home and a package arrives, I would @ my friends in the group chat and ask if anyone can help pick it up. She would then privately message me and say that it feels like others should help me as a matter of course, and then tell me what I should say. Another example is when I don't reply to messages in the group chat, she would privately message me and say that others are unhappy because I didn't reply, and I should apologize and express gratitude. Others don't owe me anything, and it's natural to have emotions... Although it feels like she has good intentions, I feel uncomfortable. When I follow her demands, I always feel like I'm being educated. If I don't do as she says, she will tell me how my interpersonal relationships will be affected. It feels like a threat to me. In short, I want to confront her. - PS: I also have a question, sometimes when I post something in the group chat (for example, when the street comes to check something and I help out, or when something is missing at home and I have already bought it), sometimes no one replies, including her. Nobody says what she taught me, at least expressing gratitude or something. How should I interact with her? Every time she teaches me, she always thinks my interpersonal relationships are very poor.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the title sounds great! After reading your question, I can sense that you must be a very popular person with many friends who care and help each other in life. This kind of status is actually the goal of many people in pursuing interpersonal relationships. However, in this group of friends, although you initially felt that you were handling your relationships well, under the criticism and guidance of your friend, you felt worse about yourself. Hugs to you, I hope my answer can give you some inspiration. You have been with this friend for nearly ten years, and I believe you both know and understand each other very well. However, it seems that in this friendship that should have been equal, there have been some subtle changes in your relationship. Why is that? You've known each other for ten years, and it seems that she has considered you a very important person in her life. I don't know if she does similar things with other people, but clearly you are the special one. She expresses her concern in her own way. She pays attention to your interactions with others in the WeChat group, always private messaging you, telling you how to get along with others. In your description, she seems to have taken on the role of a mother in this relationship, and you have gradually become the child in the relationship. This is why you feel uncomfortable. Because parents always stand in a higher psychological position to discipline and criticize their children, and the children are the objects of criticism and discipline, they will naturally experience emotions and dissatisfaction. In her eyes, everything she does is to make you better, but in such behavior, all you can feel is pressure and restrictions. Feeling threatened is also due to the excessive pressure she puts on you in this relationship. How to solve it? Honest communication may be a good approach. You can honestly tell her that both of you are adults who have their own preferred ways of communicating and living attitudes, and you can handle your own interpersonal relationships well. At the same time, we should also recognize the positive intentions behind what the other person does. Thank them sincerely for their care, and believe that they will gladly accept your opinions and suggestions. Establish appropriate boundaries. No matter how close the relationship is, whether it is a friend or a family member, we should establish appropriate boundaries. When the other person touches your psychological boundaries, you can bravely say no. If you felt uncomfortable in the beginning, you could have expressed your feelings to the other person in a timely manner, and maybe the situation would have been different. The establishment of every relationship requires both parties to test and constantly adapt in order to find the most suitable boundaries and the most comfortable state of interaction. Being able to maintain a friendship for ten years with enthusiasm is really precious. I believe you will find better ways of communication to solve the small problems you are currently facing. Wishing you a long-lasting friendship and best wishes, the world and I love you~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, let me try to answer this question. When I read about the situation you described, it reminded me of the \"robber logic\" of good people. Many people use the excuse of \"doing it for your own good\" to manipulate others' personalities. It feels like a form of personality coercion, making you feel unable to express your anger and causing frustration and confusion. I can empathize with your situation. From a psychoanalytical perspective, I can provide some directions and possibilities: your friend exhibits a very controlling \"motherly\" behavior that can feel suffocating. \"Motherly\" refers to someone who likes to teach others how to live, often displaying their greatness as a mother and seeking to dominate various relationships. They not only act as their children's mother but also as mothers to others. They can be caring and warm when it comes to taking care of others. However, their desire for control and expression can also bring a sense of repression. It may be difficult to say that she is suffocating, as it represents the traces of years and life. Her words and actions are also repeating past experiences and traumas, which bring her a sense of satisfaction. She constantly educates you in interpersonal relationships, perhaps due to her own inability to cope with setbacks and traumas in previous relationships, projecting them onto you through an educational approach. People who have not experienced love can only prove that they are still worthy of love by getting rid of their past selves, denying their weaknesses, and showing their strength and greatness. Many people who have experienced childhood traumas become overly dependent and clingy in adulthood. They no longer want to taste the bitterness of rejection, abandonment, or being ignored, so they use stronger ways to showcase their \"deep suffering\" and love. People who like to control others like a mother actually have an out-of-control life. They dare not face their own lack of control and helplessness, so they create a \"false self.\" This \"self\" is tall, dominant, and gives a sense of control. The reason it feels oppressive is because of the gentle wrapping, making it both loved and hated. Try discussing these explanations with her, as well as your true feelings, and show care for the emotional trauma and sense of control she may have inside. At the same time, express sincere refusals when necessary. Explore the reasons why you can't resist the idea of \"doing it for your own good\" in your own personality, and I believe you can find a suitable way. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to your acceptance.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Isn't this the so-called \"stickler\"? :) It feels like this friend is excessively invading your boundaries, even giving off a parental vibe, always trying to educate us and impose their values on us. She doesn't understand that your life is yours to decide, and it has nothing to do with her. She is not obligated to correct your life. Even if you did something truly wrong, what does it have to do with her? What responsibility does she have to correct you? So if you feel uncomfortable, if she is overly interfering, be brave and speak up. Tell her that you know she cares about you, but this care has turned into pressure, and you are no longer enjoying your relationship as before. You want to have your own space and thoughts, and how you interact with others is your own business, not hers. Hopefully, she can respect your wishes. If she is your friend, she will consider your feelings, give you freedom. If she continues to act like before, lecturing you and even thinking that you are wrong or immature, then I think you can distance yourself from this friend. No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable, even if they have been friends for ten years. You have not done anything wrong, you don't need to endure this unpleasant feeling. But I'm not sure why she knows about your interpersonal relationships. If this happens again, don't mention it in the group chat, just privately message the person you want to talk to. That way, good friends won't know. It is indeed painful to interact with someone who dislikes, doesn't know how to respect, and appreciate oneself. I suggest that the questioner maintain reasonable boundaries and avoid excessive interaction with the other party. It will help improve their mood.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I totally understand how you feel, sending you a hug~ It can be really irritating when others constantly give their opinions and make you feel like your life is being interfered with. Especially as adults, we really don't like having our lives directed by others. Considering you've been friends for ten years, I don't think he's intentionally trying to meddle in your life. So, this issue can be analyzed from two perspectives. On one hand, you can pay attention to whether the small issues he mentions actually exist and if they genuinely need improvement. For example, when a package arrives and you're not home, you mention it in the group chat and ask if someone can help, and he privately messages you, saying it feels like others should naturally help you, and then tells you what you should say. Or, in the group chat, if you don't reply to a message, he privately messages you, saying that others are upset because you didn't reply and you should apologize and express gratitude because others don't owe you anything, and it's only natural that they have emotions... He's not referring to any major issue, it's just his perception. Of course, I also think he's being overly detailed. Everyone behaves differently, and everyone has their own habits, so there's no need to adhere to any specific standard. So, you can take what he says into consideration if it applies to you, but otherwise, you can ignore it. On the other hand, you can communicate with him and make your stance clear. You can directly tell him that you don't want him constantly teaching you how to do things and that you think you're doing just fine as is. Of course, you can also express appreciation for his guidance, because I believe he means well. Then, politely decline his advice. I think this is a small matter and there's no need to strain your relationship over it. Just stick to your own attitude, how you speak and how you handle things, because ultimately, you have the right to make those decisions. Wishing you well~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I saw your concerns and hope I can help you. It seems that your old friend often tries to guide you in your social interactions. Occasionally reminding is fine, but too much can make you uncomfortable. From your description, I can see your obedience and tolerance. We can try to make some adjustments in the following aspects: Firstly, understand good intentions. From your description, it seems that you also know that your friend discusses this topic repeatedly out of good intentions. Maybe she thinks that her way and pace of social interaction are the right ones. She may not realize that everyone has their own coping mechanisms and she doesn't have any malice. It's possible that she just wants to express her views. Once you clarify this, when she brings up this topic, you may not feel so resistant if you approach it with a listening attitude. Secondly, set boundaries. Even with friends you've known for over a decade, there need to be boundaries. From this perspective, your friend's excessive interference with your social interactions has crossed the line. You can establish boundaries in various ways, such as expressing your thoughts and feelings tactfully, or not participating in common group conversations. On one hand, let the other person feel your gratitude for her good intentions, and on the other hand, make her understand your desire for understanding and respect. Thirdly, find a common path for mutual progress. Because I don't know your friend and can only understand from your description, it seems that in the topic of social interactions, you always find yourself in a passive position. You can try to explore new topics that both of you find interesting, bypassing topics that may trigger negative emotions. By subtly refusing the other person, you can truly empower each other and create a positive cycle in your relationship. Friendship thrives in mutual growth, so cherish it as it progresses. Wishing you new discoveries every day.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, a friend of mine that I have known for about ten years has been constantly trying to teach me how to get along with other friends in recent years. Her teachings make me feel like my interpersonal relationships are poor and make me uncomfortable. Although it may seem inappropriate, I need to ask you a question. Before she started teaching you, how did you feel about your interpersonal relationships? Behind every situation, there is meaning. If you observe every situation around you carefully, you will see that there are things we need to pay attention to. For example, a person who needs to renovate suddenly notices a lot of renovation information around them that they had never noticed before. Or a new mother suddenly notices other pregnant mothers and pregnancy-related information everywhere, feeling like there was never so much before. These phenomena are determined by our cognitive selectivity, not that the information suddenly appeared, but that we chose to let them appear. The amount of information surrounding us is enormous, so in order to prevent our brain from being overloaded with information, our cognitive mechanism selects only the information our brain needs. You noticed that your friend suddenly started teaching you how to get along with friends, and you also followed her advice. At the same time, you also realized that your interpersonal relationships did not change much. You understand that the other person means well, but you feel somewhat uncomfortable. Have you ever expressed these feelings to the other person? Just like sometimes we want to help others, we tell them what we think is helpful, but it is difficult for us to know how they feel unless they tell us, right? Maybe you can express your feelings and your wishes when both of you are in a calm state of mind, for example, you can handle things on your own and don't need this kind of advice. Best wishes! Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, constantly receiving advice can be mentally uncomfortable. In a sense, advice is a form of negation. Frequent advice can make oneself feel like they are doing things wrong, always being invalidated. It's really distressing. Let's change our perspective. When a friend frequently offers advice, is there any hidden message behind it besides her good intentions? It might be worth trying to communicate and ask if your behavior has made her feel bad or if someone else has said something about you to her... If it's the former, you can consider adjusting your behavior. You have the final say in this matter. Adjusting your behavior in a timely manner doesn't mean admitting you were wrong, but rather caring about your relationship with your friend. If it's the latter, it could be your friend's well-intentioned reminder, but her approach may not consider your feelings. There's a story about a father and son leading a donkey... No matter what you do, someone will be dissatisfied. Instead of that, it's better to peacefully coexist with your friend of ten years. There must have been happy times, as well as conflicts. Your friend's frequent advice makes you uncomfortable, but you haven't expressed it to her. Often, the more we care, the easier it is to overlook our own emotions and accumulate resentment towards our friends without expressing it, which can also affect the friendship. Ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable and haven't expressed it. What are you worried about? What would happen if you expressed your emotions? Can you not accept the worst-case scenario? If it seems like there's no big deal, does that mean you know what to do now? I believe you will handle your relationship with your friend well and no longer be influenced by their advice.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It can be seen that your friend is quite caring towards you, but her good intentions went a bit too far, which makes you feel uncomfortable and that's perfectly normal. For you, she is just a friend, not your elder, so repeatedly telling you how to socialize in a instructive tone is really inappropriate. The status between friends is equal, no one can act superior. Your way of socializing is your own choice. Of course, if you do something inappropriate, others can kindly remind you, but it shouldn't be a demand. Of course, her intention was indeed for your own good, but her approach was indeed inappropriate. Friends also have their own sense of self and boundaries. What should you do? You can express to her that you have your own way of making friends, thank her for her reminder, but there's no need for her to constantly lecture you, and be sure to be polite and tactful. I wish you well!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After carefully reading your description, I sincerely feel your warm-heartedness and the desire to help others. I believe you must be a person who radiates warmth in your daily life. However, it is natural to feel disappointed when our helpfulness is not understood and we are criticized, especially when it comes from someone we have long considered a trusted companion. In your description, I noticed that you have attempted to express your discomfort to your friend, but unfortunately, she did not receive it. Despite facing her criticism, you were still able to respond patiently, which is a great coping mechanism. I genuinely applaud you for that! However, such a response is not a long-term solution as it can drain a significant amount of energy and may not be beneficial for both of you. I would like to offer two suggestions: 1) Try sincerely reminding her about the issue of \"boundaries\". Even the best of friends need to have certain boundaries in their relationship. If you feel that her concerns are exceeding the boundaries of your relationship, this reminder can serve as a \"relationship lubricant\" that is relatively necessary. 2) Express gratitude to her more often, and then act according to your true needs and handling things in your own way. I hope this understanding will be helpful in resolving your confusion. The world will surely treat someone as kind-hearted and warm as you with gentleness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6348
       },
       {
        "question": "Found someone who likes each other and then got scared, do I have a mental illness?",
        "description": "Encountering someone that both parties have feelings for each other, we could have been together, but I got scared. I don't know what I am afraid of, maybe I'm afraid of losing, or I have concerns. After things cooled off, it was clearly me who rejected being together, but I still feel upset. I feel like a terrible person, unworthy of saying that I like them. Since we can't be together, we shouldn't continue to have contact. But I miss the old days, the pleasure of chatting with them. I'm really messed up, criticizing myself while still thinking about them. Do I have a problem?",
        "keywords": "Love, managing relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the topic creator, through your words, I can see a person in the fog, not knowing what to decide, nor where to go. First, I want to affirm your question, you are not sick, maybe just a little lacking in confidence. But it doesn't matter, this is a normal psychological feeling that most people have to some extent. You don't need to see it as denial or attack yourself. 1. Here are some of my thoughts, maybe there are some inaccuracies, but you can always express your true feelings. Your understanding of why you feel \"worthless\": I also liked someone before who I couldn't be with. At that time, they said we could be friends if we couldn't be lovers. I didn't accept it, I didn't think I could be content with just being friends, and I even criticized them. But now, I seem to have become just like that person back then, and I feel ashamed of it. Maybe it's because I haven't resolved and healed from the pain caused by that unclear attitude, and instead I have inflicted that kind of hurt on the current 'them'. I feel worthless because after expressing mutual interest, I realized that there was a barrier in my heart, so I didn't agree to be together, like taking back a move in a chess game. And then, we agreed to be like before, but it seems like it's not possible anymore. And later, I realized that my requirement was very unreasonable and I regretted my behavior, but I didn't know how to express the guilt, so I used an external evaluation - \"worthless\" to balance and rationalize my inner shame and guilt. You have experienced being treated poorly, so you know the pain it can cause the other person, but you don't know what actions to take to remedy the situation. Because in your past experiences, the injured version of you also never experienced successful help/love. I can understand your confusion. But I also miss the past, the joy of chatting with them. I don't have the face to contact them, and they haven't contacted me. I don't deserve to say that they like me. From your words, I feel that reason cannot stop you from still having feelings for them, but you hesitate to express those feelings and believe that you don't have the right to contact them or say that you like them. What is the barrier between thoughts and actions? I think perhaps it stems from your \"inferiority complex\". Since we couldn't be together, we shouldn't let ourselves sink deeper. But it still feels a little uncomfortable, it's all my fault. And if we continue to communicate, who knows if it will make them sink deeper? This is probably why we don't contact each other. You think that perhaps the reason for not contacting them is to prevent them from sinking deeper. It is based on your own experiential judgment, limiting yourself to an environment you can control, but it does give you a sense of security. I think maybe it's because this sense of security compensates for your uncertainty when faced with deep-water relationships (such as deep, long-term commitment relationships), and you haven't yet acquired the ability to handle deep intimate issues. So you hope that the development of the relationship meets your internal psychological expectations, and you may not be able to accept the unknown in a real relationship. I think, perhaps in previous relationships, you lacked a bit of self-affirmation. When a partner shows kindness, you feel pleasantly surprised; when a partner points out discomfort in the relationship, you may find it difficult to bear. Insecure individuals crave recognition from others, care about other people's needs, but are also prone to self-sacrifice. Your choice of friendship also reflects this point. Because in a friendship, you feel safe within certain boundaries. It doesn't require commitment to the relationship, nor does it involve the responsibility of an intimate relationship. In theory, avoiding the pain of commitment should make you happier, right? But I'm hesitant, I don't know what I'm afraid of, maybe I'm afraid of losing, I have concerns. Even though I rejected being together, I still feel uneasy. Since we can't be together, we shouldn't continue to stay in touch, but I miss the past, the joy of chatting with them. However, from your self-description, I can see a heart that hides its vulnerability and sensitivity underneath layers of armor. Lost, outside the door of love. I really want to hug you. 2. If you want to grow from this experience, I hope you can give yourself some time and stop to face your own inner self. Here, you can think about why your current view of romantic relationships has become a friendship-style relationship without commitment. Why are you afraid of commitment? For example, is it because of underlying self-esteem issues? Or is it due to unresolved past experiences? Or is it the influence of social environment that causes the \"alienation\" of people? (Such as the \"fast food culture\" and \"functional social relationships\" in society) Or is it the fear of dealing with failed relationships in the past that is causing you to avoid it? ...If it's because of self-esteem, I can share a method that has been useful to me. We can write down the moments when we feel insecure, to understand ourselves better. (It's from a book called \"Healing the Injured Self-Confidence\"). For example, transform the thought that blocks your expression: \"But I'm hesitant, I don't know what I'm afraid of\" into a thought that helps you express your needs: \"I admit I feel afraid, I'm afraid they will ignore me or even be disappointed in me, maybe I can ask if I will disturb them?\" Transform the thought that blocks your expression: \"Maybe I'm afraid of losing, I have concerns\" into a thought that helps you express: \"I feel a little scared, my inconsistency might harm them and I don't know how to explain it. But only I know my feelings best, maybe I can try to express my conflicting emotions.\" Transform the thought that blocks your expression: \"Even though I rejected being together, I still feel uneasy\" into a thought that helps you express: \"They might not trust me anymore, they might also reject my request, I have to admit I don't know their thoughts and attitude. But if I can articulate my doubts, that is also worth affirming.\" To summarize the core idea of this method, it is to concretize the behavior and needs behind your emotions, and assess the difficulty of implementation. We can start by trying to accomplish the tasks with the least difficulty. However, you know that the most important thing is taking action after making a firm decision, and in this aspect, I can't help you. If you only want to reconcile with them out of guilt, but you haven't prepared yourself for how to deal with deep-level commitment in the relationship. Then perhaps this kind of problem will occur repeatedly in your relationship's cycle. At the same time, in Adler's \"Understanding Human Nature,\" it also mentioned that people with an inferiority complex tend to focus more on past failed experiences when facing failure. They lack a sense of belonging and social interest. They doubt that these issues can be solved through cooperation. In my opinion, the interaction of intimate relationships is also a form of cooperation. A good intimate relationship is characterized by equality, respect, honesty, and love. I think you can try to trust them and trust the relationship. Trust that the other person is an independent and mature individual. We can reveal our vulnerable and even conflicting thoughts to each other, believing that the other person has the ability to choose responsibility for us, and we are willing to respect their choices and respect this complex and special emotional state. I think maybe they can feel your sincerity. 3. About two months ago, I asked a question on having a \"commitment-free\" romantic relationship, can it last? How to maintain it? (If you're interested, you can try searching for it.) A user named @wo s\u00a0 zui w ux \u00a0r\u00e9n responded to me in the comments, and I'm very grateful to her. She said, \"Life is about experiences, being a child, being a spouse, being a parent... different roles, tasting the sour, sweet, bitter, and spicy flavors, different tastes.\" Love, in its usual sense, isn't just sweet. It's also mixed with suspicion, pain, jealousy, and grievances. Love doesn't only have a bright side, it's because of this that our life experiences are so fulfilling. Real relationships have immeasurable power. May the topic creator find someone in their future that is worth cherishing, loving them while loving oneself. \ud83e\uddda\u200d\ufe0f",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a warm hug. The OP has met someone they have strong feelings for, and they enjoy their time together. However, due to certain concerns, they don't want to take things further. After rejecting their request, they feel that they shouldn't continue to enjoy the rewards in their relationship. But they realize that they still crave those rewards, so they find themselves in conflict, causing them a lot of pain and making them feel bad about themselves. Before answering, I hope the OP can consider a few questions: what is the standard for determining whether someone is bad? Do you meet that standard? Are there better ways to solve your current problem? I've seen many men online saying that girls like to string them along and they end up being backup options. I don't understand how these people view friendship between men and women. Perhaps in their eyes, there shouldn't be friendship between men and women. Men and women are different; men are more likely to exaggerate signals in their interactions with women, it's their nature. When a man thinks a girl is interested in him, he will most likely take action, but if a man thinks a girl has no interest in him, he probably won't take action. This is beneficial for the survival of the species and is a male reproductive strategy. But women are different. Women's reproductive resources are very precious, so they tend to be more conservative in heterosexual relationships because those who are not conservative are often eliminated. Women fear marrying the wrong man and in the past, they would suffer greatly from food scarcity and lack of protection if they did marry the wrong man. Even in modern times, pregnancy, miscarriage, and widowhood can cause women great distress. This tendency often manifests in male-female relationships as girls not showing interest, but boys thinking they are interested. Added to this is the conscious use by many women of their gender advantage to gain resources from the opposite sex, which is why backup options and \"green tea\" lovers naturally emerge. However, from your description, you haven't wrongfully used your gender advantage to gain anything, so naturally, there is no \"bad\" in this situation. What seems to be bothering you is that he pursued you and you rejected him, which is why many good friends who like each other don't dare to confess their feelings; once one side rejects the other, it becomes difficult to return to the way things were before and everything becomes awkward for both the man and the woman. Therefore, responding to such situations requires utmost caution and requires deep communication and soothing, rather than just leaving it at that. You have to understand that your friendship is still important and he is still worthy of being your friend. Beyond romantic love, there can be friendship between men and women, but you must decide where this is going at this point. If you also have feelings for him but have some obstacles or concerns right now, then the two of you should try to overcome them together. Let's be honest about the potential difficulties and make a decision together. If you truly don't want to pursue this romantic relationship, then you should make it very clear to him and in your future interactions, try your best not to owe him any emotional debts and maintain a good boundary. That should be enough.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Although simple, this description truly allows us to see your contradictions, inner struggles, self-blame, and a bit of melancholy... \"Clearly rejecting the other person, but finding it difficult to completely let go and continuing to stay in contact,\" this contradictory behavior seems to indeed perplex the other person, thinking, \"What exactly do you want?\" The OP also mentioned feeling angry when they were treated this way in the past, thinking that people who do this are \"scumbags\". Regarding this, I would like to respond with two points: 1. Regarding this issue, let me ask you a question: because of this contradictory experience, can you now slightly understand the person from the past? Perhaps it wasn't because of your character or how you interacted, but maybe they were afraid of something, or they had their own unspeakable reasons...? 2. The desire to contact someone and the act of continuing to stay in contact should be distinguished. Having the desire to contact someone is very understandable, wanting to reminisce, feeling sentimental... However, whether or not to actually do so depends on consulting the other person's opinion. If the other person also agrees to remain friends, then there is no problem. If the other person feels hurt and cannot accept further contact, reaching out to them again might truly become a disturbance... Lastly, I would like to remind you of one thing: What are you afraid of? This is a question worth exploring and contemplating. Are you afraid that something good cannot be lasting? Are you afraid that getting close will reveal the other person's flaws? Or that the other person will discover your own flaws? Or is it something else...?",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. 1. I suggest that regardless of whether it is the person you currently like or someone you will meet in the future whom you like but are afraid to interact with, you should have the courage to take this step: that is, be honest with the other person about your thoughts. Let the other person understand your thoughts or concerns as much as possible. Give yourself a chance, and also give the other person a chance. Perhaps the other person will choose to leave because of your hesitant and distant attitude, but that's okay. You have bravely faced your own heart. Wait for the next person. Or perhaps the other person is willing to accompany you through the obstacle in your heart. In the process of getting along, your feelings will be more firm because of the obstacles you have gone through together, and you will also open your heart. Isn't this a happy thing for both parties? 2. I suggest that you still be honest. Inexplicable inconsistencies can make people who know you understand your situation, but those who don't know you can easily form negative opinions about you. Of course, it's not to say that you should care too much about what others think. But this is also likely to leave an impression on the other person. 3. I suggest that you work harder to build your self-confidence in daily life, so that you won't be so afraid of failure. To be honest, only after experiencing countless failures do many people know what their true selves are like, where they need to pay attention, and where their shortcomings lie. Relying solely on being afraid of failure and not trying will never lead to answers. Make yourself more calm in facing everything outside. Keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hmm, it is possible that \"there is really an illness.\" People who we like often do not have the courage to pursue them. It's not easy to meet someone we both like. How many people go their whole lives without meeting that person? It is fate given to you by the heavens, so hold on tightly and don't let go. It's a pity that you are thinking of giving up on them. You both get along so well and have such a perfect love. It seems like it will slip away from your hands. What a shame. Clearly, you still think about them, miss them, and have the courage to love. There are only a few people in a lifetime worth loving, so don't have regrets for a lifetime. Why hesitate? Being hesitant won't bring you happiness. It will only ruin the good things. Rather than feeling like a scumbag, try to actively cultivate a relationship. Only by courageously pursuing love will you avoid self-torture. Whether you are scummy or not doesn't matter. What's important is whether you dare to accept the love that is in front of you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16472
       },
       {
        "question": "Why have I been crying for no reason sometimes at night in the past two years?",
        "description": "I have always been fine, nothing has happened, but I always feel inexplicably upset and want to cry, and I always have thoughts of suicide or self-harm.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed feelings, panic and helplessness, fragile and tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You've been doing well all along, and it's comforting to know that! Sometimes, when your emotions are unstable, you inexplicably feel uncomfortable and want to cry. Please carefully analyze what exactly triggers your discomfort. Is it a person or a situation that makes you feel uneasy? Once you have sorted it out, take a closer look at which issues that puzzle your mood you can handle yourself, which ones require help from others, and which ones you don't need to waste energy dealing with at all. After clarifying these questions, you may find the real causes and methods, and your emotions will naturally calm down. When you feel like crying, feel free to cry freely, release the pent-up sadness and discomfort, and you will experience a different feeling.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 17,
            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 17,
            "end": 39,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 39,
            "end": 78,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 78,
            "end": 137,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 137,
            "end": 171,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 171,
            "end": 210,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "All tears are the result of unfulfilled needs in the heart. You can find a piece of paper and a pen, and write down the things that stress you and make you feel regretful. At the same time, write down your feelings about each thing to help you sort out psychological stress and find the root causes of the problems. I wish you find the unfulfilled needs in your heart and be happy soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8720
       },
       {
        "question": "Does my husband's explosive and easily irritable behavior, and inability to control his emotions, classify as a mental illness?",
        "description": "My husband has been very irritable in the past two months. He gets angry and loses his temper easily over trivial matters. When he's not angry, things are fine between us. Yesterday, we had a dispute about mopping the floor. I wanted to do it, but he didn't allow me to. I ignored him and started mopping anyway. In response, he kicked the mop several times until it broke into pieces. He also kicked and broke the bucket. When I saw this, I felt scared and angry. I complained a bit, but before I could finish speaking, he punched the wall next to him. It was really terrifying. He shouted at me with a fierce and aggressive look, as if he wanted to harm me. He said hurtful things and insulted me. I started crying and he cried too, breathing heavily and tightly clenching his fists. This scene seems to repeat itself every time we argue. We fight almost every day. He gets angry over trivial matters, and he never acknowledges when I do something right. If I make even one mistake, he will verbally abuse me, treating me as if I were a dog. Is my husband suffering from a mental illness? How can we make things better? I'm desperate!",
        "keywords": "Behavior, violence, control, hypochondria.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Give the OP a warm hug. First of all, from the OP's description, we cannot simply conclude whether the other party has a mental illness, but we can provide some suggestions for the OP to consider: First, I would like to ask if the OP's husband's irritable temper and behavior have been long-term? Have similar situations occurred before? We need to first determine whether the behavior with violent tendencies is a long-term existence or is caused by certain things in a short period of time. In addition, the OP mentioned that the husband's temper has become particularly irritable in the past two months. Is it because the husband has encountered some unpleasant things in life or work during this period? We can try to find the \"trigger\" for the husband's mood changes in these aspects. We can also communicate with him when his emotions are stable to see if there are other reasons. One more important point is to hope that the OP takes care of themselves and pays attention to their safety. When faced with the husband's irritable mood, try to temporarily separate from him and avoid confronting him head-on if the situation becomes more difficult to control.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14222
       },
       {
        "question": "When my boyfriend watches me from a distance, when he talks on the phone, I reject him in my heart.",
        "description": "My boyfriend came from a different city to visit me. He brought me my favorite food. However, when he was on his way back, he answered a phone call and didn't explain it to me when he called me back. I started doubting everything about him in my mind.",
        "keywords": "Love, attachment, and a sense of security.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Share a little story with the thread starter: A good person did many good things in his life, but one day he made a mistake. The people around him criticized him because they believed he shouldn't make mistakes, and they considered his mistake unforgivable. However, the truth was that his mistake was only a small one, but people deliberately magnified it. On the other hand, a bad person did many bad things in his life, but one day he suddenly did something good. The people around him called him a prodigal son, but the truth was that this good deed wasn't sincere. Therefore, in many situations, we shouldn't only look at the surface, but rather look at the inner meaning. When a boyfriend takes the initiative to visit us, it shows that he still cares about us, and when he takes us to eat our favorite food, it shows that he wants the best for us. It's just that during a later phone call, he couldn't answer our call immediately because of something unexpected, and when he called back, he didn't explain why he didn't answer the call earlier. In fact, we don't really deny him, we just feel that he doesn't genuinely care about us because his behavior overlooked us. So in that moment, we think he doesn't love us that much. If we calm down and think about it, did he really not care about us in the previous moments? If he genuinely didn't realize it, we can take the initiative to remind him instead of harboring silent resentment and he won't know where he went wrong, causing unnecessary misunderstandings. We can give him a chance to give us a reasonable explanation, and we can also proactively express some points that we care about to him, so that in the future we can try to avoid similar issues. Love sometimes requires a little understanding. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, your #insecurity# is causing you to become anxious and disrupt your thoughts~ From the information provided by the post owner, it can be understood that the post owner and their boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship, right? Can I ask if you have always been in a long-distance relationship from the beginning until now, or did you initially start out not in a long-distance relationship, but due to some reasons, you temporarily needed to be in a long-distance relationship? How long have you and your boyfriend been dating? How do you view this relationship? The post owner mentioned that the boyfriend brought things that they liked to eat when he came to visit from a distance. In fact, the post owner is a very easy-to-please girl. When the boyfriend brings things that he likes to eat, does the post owner feel full of happiness? The post owner mentioned that when he was leaving, he called me while on the way, and when I called back, he didn't explain anything to me. The boyfriend finished seeing himself and needs to return to his own work and living place. Here, the post owner deeply feels #reluctance#. While on the return journey, the phone shows that the call is in progress. How does the post owner view this matter? What does the post owner think the boyfriend is talking to someone about? Apart from this incident, in the normal course of interaction, are there any other aspects where the post owner has a suspicious attitude towards the boyfriend? The post owner mentioned that when I called back, he didn't explain anything to me, so I started to negate everything about him in my mind. If the boyfriend explained everything to you, would you still deny him and doubt him? So, did you directly ask the boyfriend for confirmation? From the information provided by the post owner, one can feel the post owner's lack of self-confidence and caution in this relationship. Don't you feel very tired, post owner? If it's tiring, I suggest that the post owner consider sharing their thoughts with the boyfriend, listen to what the boyfriend has to say, and see how the boyfriend behaves. I think a healthy and high-quality intimate relationship requires both people to work together to operate and maintain it. Especially for long-distance relationships, this is definitely the biggest test in an intimate relationship. I'm not sure about the specific situation of the post owner and the boyfriend's interaction, but I suggest that the post owner communicate with the boyfriend in a timely manner, reserve some personal space for both parties, and learn more to enhance their own confidence. I believe that your future relationship can be more relaxed and happy. The world and I love you. Best wishes to the post owner, Quiet Ting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Thank you for inviting me. From your brief description, I can sense a bit of your \"stubbornness\" or maybe you were feeling a little emotional at that time. It seems like your long-distance relationship with your boyfriend is not very stable, and you have a lot of insecurity or lack confidence in him. How long have you been together? How do you get along with each other? Or what kind of love do you feel for your boyfriend? Do you love him more than yourself? Or maybe you don't love him that much? Only you know that in your heart. Because this also determines the quality of your relationship and how you get along. Actually, if you really care about it, you can directly ask him who he was talking to just now and tell him your current feelings and thoughts. What do you think? Having grudges, creating barriers, and even suspicion towards each other will not benefit your relationship, right? I don't know if you have a tendency to be a perfectionist. If you really reject your boyfriend completely because of this, is it fair to him? Getting along between lovers requires tolerance, understanding, and consideration - it is also an important foundation for a relationship, especially since you are in a long-distance relationship. You need to jointly manage and protect this relationship. I believe that you love each other. I hope you can face each other's inner thoughts openly, communicate more, have more confidence in yourself. Wishing you both the best~~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confession, I deeply understand the small emotions in your heart. I offer you a gentle breeze to smooth out the little bumps inside. Here is my analysis: 1. \"I started to invalidate everything about him in my mind.\" Women are capricious, like ever-changing little princesses. And a little princess should be cherished by everyone. How immature of your boyfriend, to have such a great little princess as his girlfriend and not treasure her. He doesn't even answer calls or explain himself. Can't he say a few comforting words to you? He deserves to be invalidated by you. 2. So, you're bringing up this issue now because you want us to analyze this mindset for you. This mindset is called extremism. In other words, either fully affirm him or completely deny him. You can't find balance in your heart to accept both his good and bad qualities. 3. So how can you avoid extremism? That would be not taking yourself too seriously, but also not neglecting yourself either. Love yourself 70% and love others 30%. Take good care of yourself professionally and be kind to others in your free time. Love others with the same compassion you have for yourself. This will help you cultivate a balanced heart. Thank you for your question, and may all the beauty in the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hahaha, you're not a girlfriend, you're a female boss. Besides you, he has many roles in society and family in this world. Similarly, you do too. If you want him to explain something, right? Maybe it's because you love him too deeply or something, you can tell him about your feelings, he will understand. I wish you well and hope that you will hold onto that rope and walk together with him, but not hang it around his neck, right? Best wishes to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19249
       },
       {
        "question": "Afraid to go out, feeling nervous and under great pressure every time I have to leave, is this considered social anxiety?",
        "description": "I have not been sleeping well for the past few nights, I don't know if it can be considered social anxiety disorder.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for trusting me to answer your questions. From your simple explanation that you are afraid to go out and feel anxious and stressed when you do, and also have trouble sleeping, it is a premature and subjective conclusion to label yourself as having social anxiety. It is also irresponsible towards yourself. Let's first refrain from labeling ourselves. Let's try to explore the following: 1. How did the symptom of being afraid to go out or feeling anxious when going out develop? Were there any specific events that caused you to suddenly become like this? How long has this been going on? We need to find out the cause. 2. You have provided limited information, and I do not know your age, gender, or what happened to make you feel this way. If you are a minor, you should inform your parents about any discomfort you are experiencing and let them take you to see a doctor. 3. If you are an adult, how much does this symptom affect you? What are your physical reactions like? You need to observe and assess this. If it has only been a short period and you occasionally feel afraid to go out, you can try to find reasons to go out, such as for a meal, and see what feelings arise. Try to understand where your anxiety is coming from. 4. If this symptom has been persistent for a long time and has already caused severe physical discomfort, it is important to go to the hospital for a check-up to find out what is happening. 5. Trouble sleeping can also affect your mood and mental state. If it's not chronic insomnia, you can try meditation to relax your body and alleviate the anxious emotions. If it is long-term insomnia, you should see a doctor. 6. Typical symptoms of social anxiety disorder include excessive worry and fear in social situations, crowded places, or when interacting with others. The individual may be afraid of embarrassing or awkward situations, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and fear. I suggest not jumping to conclusions. If you are really not doing well, it would be better to seek help from a doctor. Wishing you health and happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs. Actually, it's not as simple as saying whether it's social anxiety or not. You can try some relaxation exercises and calmly ask yourself, what's really going on? Why can't I sleep? Is it nervousness? What is the underlying emotion? What are you thinking about when you can't sleep? What are you afraid of? What's outside the door? What situation are you most afraid of encountering when you open the door? Have you experienced this kind of emotion before? Take the time to become aware of yourself, there's no right or wrong, any answer that comes to your mind is a factor that affects you. You can write it down on paper and analyze it further, considering the feasibility, pros, and cons. Then, analyze and find some measures that can help you relieve the situation. For example, is there a piece of clothing or an item that can give you courage? Is there someone who can accompany you, or can you practice socializing at night (while ensuring safety)? You can also look back at your most successful experiences and the best things you've done in social situations, give yourself some confidence, encouragement, and rewards. Keep going! Believe that you can do it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18748
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I let my parents know if my boyfriend is coming to visit me?",
        "description": "My boyfriend and I are from the same small town and our families live very close to each other. My parents are well-known teachers in the town, and I have graduated from college, while my boyfriend only finished junior high school. My parents strongly oppose us being together. My boyfriend and his parents run a spicy hotpot fast food restaurant. Since I am working in another city, my boyfriend wants to come and visit me. I don't want to have a long-distance relationship! Should I tell my parents or not? I want to tell them, but I am also afraid. The two families live very close to each other, so they will find out sooner or later. I am living with my older sister in another city, and I don't want her to lie for me as it has nothing to do with her. I'm really conflicted and I hope to get some help and advice.",
        "keywords": "Family, parents' communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I see your dilemma and distress. Your parents are well-known teachers in the town, and they may think that your boyfriend's parents' income from running a spicy fast food restaurant is unstable, and they feel that he cannot bring you a happy and stable life in the future. Moreover, you are a college graduate and he only graduated from junior high school, there is a large difference between the two of you. From your parents' perspective, they want their daughter to have a good match, and in their eyes, your boyfriend is not a suitable match for you in many aspects. Now your boyfriend wants to end the long-distance relationship and come to find you to be together. Because your families live very close to each other, even if you don't say it, his parents may know and it may reach your parents' ears. So, you are deeply torn. And you feel pressured to keep the secret from your sister as well. All these considerations have made you very conflicted. Have you asked yourself how you truly feel about your boyfriend's personal qualities? Can you pass this test within yourself? Perhaps the surface problem you have is the fear of your parents not agreeing, but the deeper issue is the uncertainty about yourself and your boyfriend's future. If your boyfriend had the same educational background as you, had a decent job or stable income, then you wouldn't hesitate and be so torn like now, and you would be very willing to tell your parents. But now the reason you are torn is because you also know that there is a significant gap between you and your boyfriend, and you have uncertainties in your heart about your relationship. Or perhaps you are not aware, but deep down, you do have some rejection towards your boyfriend. So this is the real reason causing your dilemma. Instead of asking whether you should tell your parents or not, perhaps you should ask yourself if you want to continue with your boyfriend, how to proceed, whether you have common ideals and goals for the future, and whether your understanding and communication on things can be smooth, these might be what you need to think about and face.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello. After seeing your previous confession, it seems that you are still quite in love with your boyfriend, but at the same time, you are afraid of your parents' strong opposition, and you don't know what to do. The key here is to address your parents' concerns because parents' hearts are full of compassion. If your parents oppose it, it means they hope you can find someone reliable and live a worry-free life. If you sincerely want to be with your boyfriend and move towards marriage, you should try to let your partner achieve the results that satisfy your parents. Being good to you is just one aspect, but the most important thing is that your parents hope that he can fully guarantee your future life together. In my opinion, the best approach is for your boyfriend to achieve some accomplishments, and then you two can meet your parents together. This way, the chances of success will be higher. If you directly tell your parents about meeting, they will most likely have a higher chance of opposition, and it will be difficult for you to handle. I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can understand your feelings very well. Your parents, being teachers, probably value education more. Your boyfriend's educational background might make your parents think that he is not as outstanding, hence their opposition to your relationship. Now your boyfriend wants to come and visit you, and we can imagine your parents' reaction. However, even so, I still recommend that you inform your parents. Temporary concealment has no tangible benefits and will only increase your parents' dislike towards your boyfriend. Lack of education can be compensated for by good character. Your parents value education because they value character, as a higher education represents higher quality. If you hide it and your parents find out later, they will think his character is not good. So I suggest that you directly talk to your parents. You can change their perception by showing them the things he does for you and make your parents believe that he genuinely cares for you. Your parents' wish is for you to be well. You can also seek help, such as through your boyfriend's family, to improve the relationship between the two families. Finally, I wish you the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the questioner~ I suggest that you tell your parents, as when it comes to marriage, it's not just about family circumstances but also about the character of your partner. You must really like your partner, which is why you don't care about their education background. But due to your parents' jobs, I think they probably have a stronger desire for you to find a partner who is at least equal in education and social status. This is why you feel conflicted between love and familial obligations. I think you may have already imagined in your mind how to tell your parents, how they will react, and how you should handle it. This is actually about mentally preparing yourself. However, we also have to consider your parents. They have raised you into an adult daughter who is getting married, so of course they want you to marry someone who can take care of you. No one wants their precious daughter, who they have cherished for over 20 years, to end up with nothing. Since both families live nearby, your parents will eventually find out, so it's better to tell them sooner. Leave more time for your parents to understand and accept your boyfriend. I believe if your parents discover that your boyfriend has good character, ambition, and truly cares about you, they will respect your thoughts and let go of their insistence on education. Summon up the courage to tell them. It's not a bad idea to listen to the advice of the older generation. Besides, your parents are teachers who have seen many, many students and have life experiences that allow them to see people clearly. After all, outsiders often have a clearer view than those immersed in love. Wishing you the best~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21524
       },
       {
        "question": "We are becoming more and more dependent on mobile phones. It feels uncomfortable without a phone by our side. What should we do?",
        "description": "Although everyone needs to use their phones every day, I feel like I can't go a moment without my phone. Most of my roommates charge their phones on the table before going to bed, but I have to bring mine to bed and keep it by my pillow to feel comfortable (even though I know it emits a lot of radiation); even when I shower, I bring my phone inside with me, even if I don't listen to music. In class, I can't help but occasionally check my phone for new messages. Whenever I don't have my phone with me, I feel restless and unenergetic... This has been going on for a very long time now, and I feel like it's getting worse. Do I have some kind of psychological problem?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, smartphone dependency.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, first of all, I'm glad to see your question on this platform, which I assume you downloaded an app on your phone to access. (Just making a little joke.) To help ease your anxiety, I want to let you know that you're not alone in this situation. In this era of information overload, we all have become inadvertently attached to our phones, myself included. So, let's analyze the situation: 1. Firstly, I have experienced all of the situations you mentioned (keeping the phone near the pillow, listening to music with the phone while showering, and unable to resist checking the phone during class), and I have also felt the same anxiety as you. However, once you analyze the reasons behind it, you will be able to reduce this anxiety. In this era of information explosion, information is constantly bombarding us. Every time we see updates from friends or celebrities, or trending topics, it stimulates our brains to release dopamine, making it difficult for us to stop refreshing the screen. We crave the next explosive surprise, slowly succumbing to this desire. 2. After reading my description above, you will realize that this is not just a psychological factor but also a physiological one, which might help alleviate some of the guilt you feel. Don't be too hard on yourself. If this lifestyle is negatively affecting your studies or other aspects of your life, set small goals for yourself, such as limiting your phone usage to a certain number of hours per day. Personally, I started with six hours, then gradually reduced it to five, and now I'm down to four hours. Alternatively, challenge yourself in other aspects, like reading books or participating in activities to divert your attention from the phone. It might take some time to get used to it, so choose a method that suits your personal habits. Lastly, I want to say that the person with the strongest self-control is not the one who competes against themselves but the one who learns how to accept conflicting aspects of themselves and integrate them into one. So, there's no need to blame yourself. Good luck to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3379
       },
       {
        "question": "Why can't I feel the love from the people around me anymore?",
        "description": "I am disappointed with my college entrance examination results. It seems like everyone cares about me, but I can't feel it. I feel like a puppet.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, how do you view the disappointment of the college entrance examination? What do you feel from this experience? You mentioned that you know people around you care about you, but you can't feel it. Sometimes, when a person is trapped in their own emotions, it's easy to lose the ability to perceive warmth. I have also experienced a long period of low point in my life, and people around me cared about me and did a lot for me. Although I knew in my heart that they cared about me, I couldn't feel it. It's okay, as long as you know that there are people around you who care about you, it's enough. You may not feel it now, but it doesn't mean you will never feel it. It's also possible that they express their care in a way that you don't expect, so you can't feel it. When you have sorted out your emotions and come out of this difficult period, look back.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15745
       },
       {
        "question": "Lately, I keep crying over small things.",
        "description": "A few days ago, I got angry because I didn't go to the supermarket, and just now I thought of a small thing and started crying again. I even hit my head, feeling that I'm too ugly, too fat, and cry too easily. Am I just a burden?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, fragile and tearful",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. Have you been under a lot of stress lately? In this situation, it is easy to get angry over small things. If so, you can think about what is causing the stress, and then try to solve the problem. Secondly, crying can also help release stress. It is a normal physiological expression of emotion for humans, and scientifically it is believed that crying has protective effects on one's mental and physical well-being. So sometimes it is good to have a good cry. When you are feeling sad, it is easy to have negative thoughts. Actually, others may not think there is anything wrong with your appearance. Don't have too much psychological pressure in this regard, everyone has their own shining points. If you are too concerned about it, take action and engage in activities like running or exercising to improve yourself. You need to give yourself positive suggestions, believe in your abilities. If you don't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you? Remember to love yourself more! I also suggest that you 1) relax your mind and don't overthink, live in the present and enjoy your life; 2) pay attention to adjusting your emotional state, engage in activities that make you happy and cultivate hobbies; 3) when you are troubled by emotions, communicate more with others, don't keep it all to yourself, and you can also seek counseling from professionals who can provide you with professional advice. Finally, I wish you happiness and smooth life every day~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18408
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I change myself if I have trouble speaking clearly in front of the public?",
        "description": "I only laugh really happily and can have long conversations when I'm with very close and familiar friends. I don't feel much communication pressure. In front of many people, such as at large events, sometimes I get so nervous that I can't speak a word. Actually, I know that I have social anxiety, so I'm not very willing to participate in certain activities. However, I don't want to have too much pressure and worries in this aspect, and it's possible that my emotional intelligence is really low. So now, I get nervous when speaking in front of a lot of people. I feel like it's really difficult for me to change the current situation and I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! After reading your description, I have gained some understanding of the questions you want to ask. In this regard, I'm sending you a virtual hug. From your description, I can feel the contradiction you are facing. Deep down, you really want to change the current situation, but due to environmental pressure, you feel nervous and unable to speak in a public setting. Although you have probably told yourself countless times not to be nervous, the tension in your body is beyond your control. Therefore, when you find yourself in a specific situation, you still feel anxious. Actually, I'm also someone who is afraid of speaking in public settings. Every time I have to speak on stage, I get nervous, my face turns red, and once I step off the stage, I don't even remember what I said up there. Even though I always tell myself not to be nervous and that they're just classmates who won't laugh at me, I still get nervous when it's time to speak. However, I still believe that one day, I will be able to stand on stage and speak without feeling so nervous, but with more composure and confidence. At the same time, I believe that you will also have that day when you won't feel nervous in public settings, but rather speak freely. Therefore, I have also summarized some methods to help you alleviate your current situation. (1) Start by analyzing the reasons for your nervousness and inability to speak. Determine whether it is due to external factors or internal factors. Only by understanding the root cause can you better solve the problem you are facing. If it is because you feel unprepared with your speaking content, then make sure to prepare well before speaking. This will to some extent reduce your nervousness and increase your confidence while speaking. (2) Every time you speak in a public setting, encourage yourself and reward yourself accordingly. Don't panic, take it slowly, and control the pace. Keep trying to speak in public settings and gradually accumulate experience. Naturally, you will become less nervous. This may be a long process, but as long as you don't give up, there will come a day when you can speak confidently in public settings. (3) Work on improving your language expression skills by reading books and watching videos. The world loves you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. I think my situation is the same as yours. When speaking in front of a large crowd, I also speak unclearly and my speech is fragmented, unable to form a complete sentence. A few days ago, I participated in an election, and I felt extremely successful on stage. But when I got on stage, I stuttered and my mind went blank. Maybe it's because there are unfamiliar people around, and the occasion feels a bit formal, making you feel like everyone's eyes are on you. I feel like the burden of my image is too heavy and I can't relax. But once you experience this kind of situation more, you will get used to it. In large events and such, we can adjust our mindset, boldly go up and speak, and not everyone's gaze is on you. You can also think from a different perspective. Why are you speaking on stage? It's because you are excellent, and speaking in a confident and appropriate manner, not to show others that you are suitable for standing there and speaking. Nervousness and the inability to speak are limited to formal occasions and large events. I don't think it's social anxiety. It might just be pure nervousness. I think OP can analyze why you are so nervous, if it's because you value this matter a lot. Before speaking on stage, you can prepare fully and not improvise last minute like I did, which made me unable to organize my thoughts. During the speech, you can encourage yourself and give yourself pep talks in your mind. Imagine that everyone in front of you is familiar or treat it as if you're talking to yourself. Try more and practice more. I believe both of us can overcome this. The above are my personal opinions that OP can refer to.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend! Sending you a warm hug! It's easy and relaxed to chat with familiar friends, but when it comes to being in a large group or attending big events, it can be nerve-wracking and overwhelming. I think the reason why it's easy and relaxed to chat with friends is because you are more familiar with them and feel more free, without many concerns. However, in large gatherings or with a bunch of people who you may not know very well, you might be afraid of saying the wrong things or not knowing what to say, which can leave a bad impression on others and make you feel anxious and lost. Actually, it takes practice to improve this situation. Try speaking up in crowds without being afraid of making mistakes. If you make a mistake, it can be corrected. Through continuous improvement and learning from mistakes, I believe that in the next conversation, you can be as relaxed and free as you are in front of friends and colleagues. Additionally, speaking in front of a large group is similar to chatting with friends and colleagues; you are only expressing your opinions through words, just with a different number of people. There's no need to be nervous. The above is just my personal opinion, for reference only. I hope it can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17690
       },
       {
        "question": "A new 9th grade female student can feel warmth at school, but doesn't have any friends.",
        "description": "As a new third-year middle school student, I can feel warmth at school but I don't have a best friend, the kind of one-on-one best friend. I am quite sensitive as an individual. I don't like being too close to friends and others, otherwise I feel ignored. I don't have anyone to open up to about my daily life. I feel quite lonely. What should I do? Should I continue enduring this for the final year? I have a friend in a formal one-on-one setting, but that friend is carefree and not the kind of one-on-one friend.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friendships, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~\u203b You can feel warmth at school, but you don't have friends to listen to your descriptions. I believe that you must be a girl with a rich inner world and strong emotions, and you have principles. That's why you have such high standards for friends and don't easily break them. It's not easy for many people in today's society to have few friends and not indulge in superficial relationships. In order to become friends, two people need to go through some experiences together, understand each other's personalities, and be able to accompany each other when they are vulnerable. Such people are rare, but not nonexistent. It's like dating - when we haven't met them, all we can do is wait. This waiting is not about isolating ourselves, but about communicating with others, building on a \"good interpersonal boundary\". In this process, you need to stay true to yourself, while also giving others the opportunity to become your friends. In fact, many friends are not known to become friends at first sight; they need to go through many experiences together to gradually understand each other. So, give others a chance, and give yourself a chance. Though you may feel that you don't have close friends, you can still feel warmth. I believe that you must be a very kind girl, so the world you see is warm in color. I believe that someone as warm as you will definitely find intimate friends! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11824
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do when I am forced to make empty promises?",
        "description": "A person asks you for help when they are in trouble, but you honestly tell them that you can't help because you also have your own problems and limited abilities. Then they become discontented and filled with resentment. Do I have to make empty promises to satisfy them? Isn't that deceiving them? What kind of mindset is this? It feels similar to one beggar asking another beggar for food, and when the other beggar doesn't have any, the first beggar gets angry and demands that the other beggar promise to treat them to a big chicken leg in the future.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relations, communication, conflicts, social adjustment.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! After reading your question, it reminded me of the skit \"Let's Talk If You Have Something\" performed by Guo Donglin and Mai Hongmei during the Spring Festival Gala many years ago. Although the skit is full of jokes, it actually portrays the helplessness of being the good guy. When others are in trouble, you help if you can, but you don't make it difficult for yourself if you can't. This is because you have a clear understanding of yourself and avoid putting yourself and the other person in a more awkward situation if you can't fulfill your promise in the future. This is a very correct approach. The other person may have a strong emotional reaction to being rejected, which may be due to their own distorted perception of reality. When people ask for help, it is often because they trust the other person and believe that with their abilities, they can definitely help themselves, which is why they ask for assistance. When the request is denied, there is a feeling of disappointment due to being rejected and suspicion and resentment towards the person who can help but refuses to. OP can think about whether there are any actions that may have caused this misunderstanding. For example, after carefully considering the request and realizing that you really can't do it, sincerely explain the reason instead of simply saying you can't help. This may make it easier for the person to accept. If OP's way of communicating with the other person is not a problem, but the other person still harbors resentment, then isn't it a fortunate thing to realize through this incident whether the other person is a friend worth taking seriously and making an effort for? Maintaining appropriate boundaries between people is the best expression of goodwill and respect for each other.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it is difficult to comfort someone whose heart is filled with anger. I can sense your helplessness and uncertainty in dealing with this person. From your description, it seems that he carries a lot of negative energy and is not easily uplifted. If I were in your shoes, I might choose to keep my distance from this friend. If I were to encounter such a visitor, I would focus on my own psychological well-being before engaging with him. As a professional mental health consultant, helping him would require a lot of energy and effort. What more for you? I sense that you want to help him but feel powerless. In this situation, I think it is important for you to take care of your own emotional state. If you are forced to interact with him, it might be quite challenging. Your task is to prevent your emotions from being affected or dragged down by him. Pay attention to what you can do and avoid attempting things beyond your capabilities. Putting yourself under unnecessary stress will not only fail to help him but also lead to doubts about your own abilities. As for whether you should paint a rosy picture for him, I believe it depends on how you feel during your interactions with him. If painting a rosy picture can give him hope, make him more positive, and help him in some way, then it might be worth it. However, if doing so only brings complaints and doesn't actually benefit him, then it's better to prioritize your own well-being. That is the most important thing, after all. Wishing you well, the world and I are rooting for you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Friend, hello! Seeing the issue you've expressed, I believe it's not that you're afraid of being abandoned, but rather lacking self-confidence. The feeling of constantly being abandoned suggests that you don't believe in and trust the people around you. It's possible that someone has hurt you in the past, and you haven't dealt with the hurt properly. You may have accepted the hurt, but subconsciously refused to acknowledge it. In the future, you can do things that boost your self-confidence, which will make you stronger. Once you become strong, your mindset, emotions, actions, and behaviors will follow suit! I believe in you! Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4655
       },
       {
        "question": "One day, suddenly fantasizing about my classmate, and then there were reactions afterwards. What should I do?",
        "description": "One day in my first year of high school, I was listening attentively in my physics class. Suddenly, an image of my desk mate (a male) taking off his clothes popped into my head. I didn't really like him as a desk mate, so I felt extremely embarrassed and my face turned red. Then the physics teacher started talking about sexual topics, saying that as we grow up, we'll understand that it's not a big deal. I thought he knew what I was thinking (possibly because I felt guilty, but also because he often claimed to know what students were thinking just by looking at them). I was filled with shame and didn't know how to make it through the rest of the class, my face still burning with embarrassment. Since then, whenever I hear my desk mate's voice, I feel uncomfortable and have sexual thoughts, even though I really don't want to, and it makes me feel ashamed. Later on, this happened with any male I encountered. I became increasingly scared in my mind, developing anxiety disorder. Now I'm a senior in high school, and it's still happening. I don't know what's wrong with me or what to do about it. (In my eighth and ninth grade, I also experienced sudden attraction to both teachers and students, but the feeling of embarrassment would go away after a while.)",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, stress, sexual desire.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the described situation \"ever since then, whenever I hear my classmate's voice, I have a particularly uncomfortable physical reaction related to sexuality, and the key is that I really don't want it to be this way, and I feel very ashamed. Later on, it became that I would have this reaction whenever I see a male, and I am becoming more and more scared in my mind, it is a fear of them in terms of sexuality.\" In this paragraph, it seems like you have obsessive thoughts: that is, forcing yourself to suppress a certain thought or thought pattern, but the more you suppress it, the more it will appear frequently in your mind. Another issue is \"feelings of being perceived,\" which is also a cause of shame and anxiety. Feeling perceived is the feeling that one's thoughts or ideas have been noticed by others. These two issues are both psychological problems and belong to neurotic disorders. They are mainly caused by irrational beliefs. Under the pressure of the college entrance examination, emotions and behaviors become compulsive, coupled with inadequate analysis of things, these problems will arise. When it comes to \"sex,\" it is because during this period, sexual desire is mostly suppressed, and your focus is too much on \"sex,\" resulting in problems related to sexuality. Sex cannot be suppressed, of course, it cannot be indulged either, but should be guided and redirected, accepting the comprehensive changes brought about by the college entrance examination emotionally. Sexual fantasies are an important way for individuals to satisfy their sexual needs and are a normal physiological and psychological self-satisfaction outlet. The frequency of sexual fantasies is related to individual consciousness and focus. With less attention, there will be fewer sexual fantasies. You can control your sexual needs yourself, control here means substitution, redirection, and seeking personal achievements, instead of simply satisfying oneself through sexual fantasies or \"masturbation.\" This is cheap, low-value, and easy to fall into moral traps. Over time, psychological distortions will occur, leading to mental illness. Therefore, regardless of your true \"sexual orientation\" at the moment, you can temporarily accept it and tell yourself that just having thoughts but not acting on them does not have any moral or legal wrongdoing. Just like the old saying goes, \"The most wicked act is at the forefront, judge not by superficial appearance but look at one's heart, there are no good people in the world by appearance.\" In terms of the root cause of neurotic disorders, there is another issue which is unwillingness to grow. Unwillingness to grow means continuing to face new problems or people and things with childish preferences or judgments. This is a social disconnection and a manifestation of delayed personal growth. What you can do is accepting your thoughts or beliefs, but with a positive judgement, establish behavioral standards for yourself and have behaviors that are accepted by society. In a child's time, there is often only right or wrong, or good or bad people, but in the adult world, it is not just about right or wrong, it also involves value and meaning, self-moral standards, and compliance with social rules. So what you need is to look at things with an adult's thinking and perspective. Regarding what your teacher said, that he can tell what someone is thinking by their expression or behavior. It can be clearly said that he might know that you are thinking about sexual or play-related things, but he definitely does not know everything. Because everyone has gone through puberty, it is not surprising to know what students think during this period. If he knows what you are thinking, then he must have also gone through the same stage as you are now, and thought of those strange things, and even more \"unconventional\" than what you are currently thinking. Furthermore, even if he knows, it doesn't matter, you haven't done anything, he cannot judge you guilty based on your thoughts or things inside your mind. Whether there is guilt or not, it depends on actions, if you have done what you should or should not do, or if you have done something that you shouldn't have done. You should seize this time to expand your understanding of the world, otherwise, the essays you write will definitely be like those of children. The problems you are facing now are hidden problems that need to be solved aside from the knowledge in textbooks before the college entrance examination. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! I sense your anxiety, so here's a virtual hug for you. It's actually very normal to experience sexual fantasies during adolescence. Everyone has their own sexual fantasies, whether it's about a celebrity, someone you know, or even a stranger. The important thing is to have the right understanding of it. Approach sexuality with a calm mindset. When those images pop up in your mind, try to distract yourself and silently say to yourself, \"It's normal.\" Don't get too caught up in it, just treat it as a normal thing, without feeling ashamed or consciously telling yourself not to think about it. You can proactively learn some basic sexual knowledge. Once you have a better understanding, you won't feel afraid, and your curiosity about sexuality will decrease. This is a normal part of growing up, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. It might be that, subconsciously, you've added more stress to yourself when you reached your senior year. Just try to redirect your attention and things will gradually get better. Remember, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14090
       },
       {
        "question": "How to cope with the distress of body image and appearance dissatisfaction?",
        "description": "I am always very dissatisfied with my body shape and appearance, despite the reassurances from people around me. I still can't control it. Can you please tell me how to improve?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that no one can do something that makes them uncomfortable in the long term. You said that you can't accept your own appearance, and it's evident that you really want to gain recognition or love from others. I understand how you feel because I am also a chubby girl. I care a lot about how others see me. Whenever someone looks at me, I become sensitive and wonder if they are judging me or finding fault with me. What's so great about them? You're amazing. As time goes by, I am slowly growing up. Instead of trying to change others' thoughts or changing myself, it's better to work hard to become better, of course, if you are willing. When your focus is on yourself, you will naturally radiate and those who are willing to approach you will naturally come closer. Finally, you can ask yourself a question: why do I care so much about how others see me? Best wishes, both me and the world love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17345
       },
       {
        "question": "Due to abusive family relationships and pressure, I have run away from home.",
        "description": "The partner has always treated me poorly, being forced into marriage by my parents, postpartum depression, a year of continuous loss of personal freedom, and now pregnant again.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management, prenatal and postnatal.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Wu Feikong's analysis: 1. From your description, it seems like you are unmarried and pregnant, which can be a cause of concern for parents. After all, marriage has legal significance and can provide protection for the woman and the baby, recognizing the status of the wife and child. 2. You mentioned postpartum depression, which is a problem that needs to be taken seriously. If you are not happy, how can you take care of the baby? Therefore, you can seek help from a psychological counselor to make yourself happy and then consider other matters. 3. The fact that you came here to ask questions shows that you have some self-awareness, which is great. Self-help can be helpful, and I hope you can continue to find ways to overcome your pain. 4. The primary goal is to make yourself happy because, after all, life is meant to be enjoyed. 5. I wish you can find happiness through your own efforts!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that: (1) You feel that your partner is treating you poorly and that your marriage was forced upon you. (2) You feel like you have been subjected to abuse from your family. Here are my analysis and advice, hoping to help you: (1) First, you mentioned that your partner is treating you poorly and that your parents forced you into this marriage. Undoubtedly, being forced into a marriage like this has trapped you in an environment where you cannot be happy. Although I cannot fully understand your situation, just thinking about this kind of situation makes me feel uneasy. Therefore, even after giving birth to a child, you still feel unhappy. This is why postpartum depression has appeared. (2) Secondly, you mentioned that you have lost your personal freedom for a year and became pregnant again. You ran away from home. Have you ever thought that your situation would improve after having a child? But unexpectedly, your situation remained poor even after having a child. So, did your anxiety escalate after having another child? (3) Finally, I advise you not to continue enduring an unhappy marriage. You can find a way to free yourself from your current situation and seek support from people you trust. Do not sacrifice yourself. #The world and I love you. Wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15921
       },
       {
        "question": "I will graduate with a master's degree next year, but I haven't been able to return to campus due to the pandemic. The stress is overwhelming!",
        "description": "Due to the pandemic, we have not been able to return to school until now. I still have one graduation experiment left to complete, and my thesis has not made any progress. How should I cope with this kind of pressure?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you have come for help with great inner distress and even pain. It takes great courage, and I see your inner longing. This year's pandemic has affected many people, including office workers, students, and others. Because home is not naturally a work environment or a study environment, many people have been affected academically. Being away from school makes it harder to stay disciplined and proactive. However, from a psychological perspective, everyone has a tendency to be lazy and want to be spoon-fed. Therefore, it is normal for studying or writing papers to be disrupted by laziness or procrastination, leading to feelings of frustration, disappointment, or even despair. From the perspective of motivation, the lack of discipline, proactivity, and the psychological mechanism of \"laziness\" may include the following reasons: resistance and \"attack\" towards tasks or papers expressed through procrastination, not making good choices between rest and work, not fulfilling the desire for rest, possibly having some self-confidence issues resulting in poor quality of work, not experiencing \"benefits\" especially on a mental level, engaging in psychological self-torture by expressing past mistakes like procrastination and self-punishment through a sense of \"not being good enough,\" longing for motivation but not finding it, hence lacking inner motivation and needing affirmation and praise from others, fear of facing failure that feels uncontrollable, and potentially having an unsound plan. Faced with this, perhaps you should reflect on and prioritize addressing the issues with your graduation thesis. Start small by creating a habit formation plan for yourself for 21 days. Think about the underlying psychological motivation. Consider seeking psychological counseling for support and guidance for a sustained period of time. I wish you the best and recommend seeking specialized counseling for personal growth.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. This year, due to the pandemic, work in various industries has been delayed or disrupted to varying degrees, students cannot go to school, and shops cannot open. Some companies are even facing the tragic situation of closure. As a master's student, you cannot return to campus, conduct graduation experiments, or have any progress on your thesis. It is normal to feel anxious and worried in such a situation. I have experienced this feeling before when school was not in session. But because of the pandemic, schools will have new arrangements. If there is enough time when you return to campus, it is possible to make up for these missed things. If time is tight, the school may also cancel them. Your classmates have not started school yet, so the school will definitely have new plans. Therefore, there is no need to worry too much, just focus on the work at hand and make a reasonable arrangement for the vacation time. It is more important to live the present well. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15243
       },
       {
        "question": "I have slept a lot, but I still feel tired all the time. What should I do? Is it a physical problem or a mental problem?",
        "description": "I have slept a lot, but still feel tired. I don't know if it's a physical issue or if there are psychological problems.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, sometimes the more we sleep, the more tired we feel and the more we feel lacking in energy. So it's important to sleep just the right amount each day and have a regular schedule. When it's time to sleep at night, make sure to get a good night's rest, and when it's time to wake up in the morning, get up and do your own things. I think you don't have much to do during the day now, so you feel sleepy. In the future, try to engage in activities that interest you during the day and try to live a more fulfilling life. This way, at least you won't feel sleepy during the day, and gradually you can adjust your schedule. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20696
       },
       {
        "question": "Worker, life is too bitter and hard. I'm constantly restless, what should I do?",
        "description": "I don't know if most young people feel the same way as me, but life feels really tough. It's been over two years since I graduated, and I haven't been able to save a penny. I earn a little over 9,000 yuan per month, but after deducting my mortgage and car loan payments of 6,500 yuan, rent of 600 yuan, phone bill of 200 yuan, and gas expenses of 500 yuan, I only have a little over 2,000 yuan left for my own expenses, including miscellaneous expenses. My parents are getting older (I'm really grateful to them, at least they helped me with having a car and house, I will always love them, haha), and they keep saying that I'm getting older and should settle down. It's true, I'm 26 years old already, but I'm afraid to start a relationship because I don't have money. Being in a relationship requires spending money, and I don't feel comfortable asking my parents for more help. After all, I'm already an adult. But listening to them nagging every day makes me feel anxious and I don't even know what they're talking about anymore, but it's just annoying. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I understand your feelings very well. Nowadays, most young people who have recently graduated are in the same situation. They don't earn enough money to support themselves and face a lot of pressure. Among the many graduates, you are already considered quite outstanding. After all, you have a stable salary and own a house and a car. Many young people who have graduated for one or two years are still unemployed at home, preparing for various exams, without stable jobs, let alone houses and cars. Some of my friends who have just graduated are in this situation. They earn three to four thousand yuan a month in second or third-tier cities, barely enough for their own expenses, let alone saving money to buy houses and cars. Compared with them, your situation is much better. Although you have a higher salary, you have to spend nearly two-thirds of it on mortgage and car payments, leaving only one-third for your own expenses, so you need to budget and manage your finances carefully. If you still feel tight, you can consider looking for a higher-paying job or doing some investments or small businesses. Your parents want you to be in a relationship, so you can meet some girls. Although dating now may require money for meals and movies, the expenses are not necessarily high. Most girls are not materialistic. They have their own jobs and can support themselves. If you really don't have enough money, your parents will definitely be willing to support you. They would prefer you to have a girlfriend now and have a good family in the future. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2026
       },
       {
        "question": "14-year-old boy, for three years, feels inexplicably sad. What should be done?",
        "description": "Frequently, for a whole day at a time, I would inexplicably feel extremely sad, and then a while later, I would inexplicably feel extremely angry. I have had multiple thoughts of death. My parents don't understand, and I have no friends. I often feel a sense of frustration in my chest, which then leads to chest pains. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There must be something blocked in the chest, wanting to come out but unable to. Even if you ignore it, it will still come out and bother you. 1. When feeling sad: find a quiet and safe place, have a good cry, let the tears flow freely; of course, you can also listen to music that suits you. You can also go to the cinema to watch a suitable tear-jerking movie, the purpose is also to let the tears flow freely. The so-called suitability means that it resonates with you and makes tears flow uncontrollably. 2. When feeling chest pain or anger, still find a safe place and maintain a comfortable posture. Place your hands on your chest and ask yourself: if it wants to speak, what would it say? 3. Before going to bed at night, say a few words to your dreams, express your problems, and let the dreams guide you to find the answers. 4. Seek professional counseling, it will be helpful for you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "14 years old, it's really difficult to feel upset but not be understood by others. I suggest spending 29.9 yuan to find a counselor for a consultation pre-communication, listen to the counselor's opinions. Although the consultation pre-communication is only 20 minutes, you can generally get an idea and receive a treatment or counseling direction. Based on your description, I hope your parents can take it seriously and take you for medical treatment or involve a psychologist as soon as possible to provide psychological assistance. It seems like you may be mentally ill, just like having a common cold; it's treatable, so don't be afraid. Nowadays, many parents have little understanding of psychological problems. Once psychological issues are mentioned, they easily associate it with mental problems, and might feel fear or refuse to believe it, especially if it's happening in their own family. This is a process and can be understood. But as things happen, they will gradually accept it, you can find relevant information for them to read or have a psychologist or doctor communicate with them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7330
       },
       {
        "question": "Afraid to tell classmates and friends about negative things, afraid of being misunderstood and abandoned.",
        "description": "Bad things refer to things that make oneself feel bad, such as being unjustly doubted or slandered by other classmates (I feel uncomfortable so I think it is a bad thing). What should I do to eliminate this kind of thinking? I feel very upset.",
        "keywords": "behavior, people-pleasing, stress, avoidance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, what kind of classmates and friends does the questioner want to confide in? If they are just classmates who study together every day without much social interaction, then it is understandable that the questioner may feel misunderstood. However, if the questioner wants to confide in friends who share similar values and judgment, then there is no need to worry excessively. Secondly, regarding the issue of feeling talked about and demeaned. If the questioner has not violated school rules or engaged in behavior deviating from social moral norms, then I believe the main reason for the questioner being demeaned is simply due to a stereotypical impression formed after the first encounter. In fact, the creation of stereotypes is very simple. When people first meet, it could be as trivial as someone wearing clothes that you don't like, which can lead to a negative stereotypical impression of that person. And afterwards, no matter what that person does, you will feel aversion towards them. This may be the reason why the questioner is facing demeaning remarks. However, when faced with such a problem, if the other party has not impacted the questioner's daily life through their actions, then the questioner does not need to pay attention to it. There is a popular saying that goes, \"I'm not a currency, and even if I were, there are still people who only like the US Dollar.\" Therefore, the questioner does not need to doubt themselves because of the bias of a few individuals. In addition, if the questioner wants to confide in someone, my suggestion is to confide in classmates and friends who share the same values. This can help avoid additional troubles for the questioner. And as for being abandoned by friends, the reason why people become friends is because there is something in common between them that makes them belong to the same group. However, when the differences between you outweigh the commonalities, then you can no longer consider yourselves part of the same group. This is not about someone abandoning someone else, it's just because there are differences and disparities between you. Everyone is independent, and where there are similarities, there are differences. When your friends cannot embrace your differences, you can also choose to confide in someone who can understand and accept you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21194
       },
       {
        "question": "A 20-year-old girl fell in love with herself. Who exactly is this person she refers to?",
        "description": "I don't know when it started, but I fell in love with myself. It's like the love between the main characters in novels or TV dramas, where my inner self is very gentle (even though I haven't been in a romantic relationship for 20 years, I can still feel those sweet feelings). And my inner self is always there to speak softly to me, help me, comfort me, and even supervise me in the things that happen to me. I am actually very distressed because I can't be with her in this real world. I would like to know who she really is and how to adjust my mood. Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation, attachment and dependency.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, seeing your words is like seeing you in person. After reading your description, although you said that the person you like is yourself, in reality, that person is both you and not you. You mentioned that when you encounter something, you share it with your \"her\" who comforts, encourages, helps, and supervises you. This \"her\" is actually another personality of yours, perhaps the person you aspire to be. It's important to know that each of us has diversity within ourselves. Some people develop different personalities, called inner personalities, as a result. For example, children who have experienced abuse may develop a personality who feels that the abused child is not them, and they themselves are enjoying a safe distance, which serves as a means of protection. Now, you have developed a separate personality who comforts and accompanies you, allowing you to feel a sense of companionship when facing pain or joy. You love this inner personality because she is what you have created, a beautiful existence. In reality, you won't find someone like her because nobody is perfect. However, you have bestowed all your desires for beauty upon her. So how can you not love her? You can continue to coexist with her, but you shouldn't become too engrossed in this feeling. Otherwise, you may reject people who try to get close to you because no one will treat you like she does. Therefore, you need to try to delve into your true self. You need to understand who this \"her\" in your heart is and also understand who you truly are because she and you are actually two sides of the same coin. You can love her, but you must love yourself more. Understand every aspect of yourself, including your flaws and strengths. Only then will you have a comprehensive understanding of yourself and know which side to show to others in social and professional situations. When facing setbacks, the \"her\" in your heart can console you, but you also need to grow and harmoniously coexist with her using your better side. Although she cannot appear in reality, her qualities will gradually influence you. Eventually, you and she will become fully integrated. It is only then that you truly become one. I hope these suggestions can be helpful to you. Click \"useful\" if you find them so. Grateful to have met you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm glad you have such a refreshing and unconventional hobby - liking yourself! It seems that you like the excellent version of yourself, which is even more worth celebrating. There are many facets to oneself - the younger self, the childhood self, the self who made mistakes, the self from yesterday, and the self of tomorrow. In addition, we have our bodies, wisdom, emotions, senses, social interactions, interactions with the environment, digestion and absorption of nutrients, and souls. Each aspect is like a different part of oneself. I also like myself and I divide myself into two people. For example, when it comes to the self who made mistakes yesterday, I console that ignorant self with the knowledge and growth I have gained today. I thank him for enabling me to grow deeper and bid him farewell. Similarly, I also express gratitude to the present self who is striving today by imagining a better self in the future. It is my efforts that allow him to have a better experience. However, I love myself without expecting my body, emotions, or soul to be present with me in reality. Everyone knows that is impossible. Nevertheless, I still deeply love that self of mine, and I can't distinguish which one is reality and which one is ideal. Anyway, they are all me. For example, I have a strange belief that I do not make mistakes, even if I make a big mistake now and haven't learned from it to grow, I still believe that I do not make mistakes. Whether it's self-deception or not, I just like believing in myself that way. He is both the self of the imagination and the reality. That's all I'll say. I hope you can distinguish between reality and imagination. Since they are all you, let them work together and create a better tomorrow. No need to separate them so clearly. Feel happy! It's not worth your suffering!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. After reading your description, I would like to say that it is truly a wonderful thing that you can love yourself in this way. We know that people's joys and sorrows are different from each other, and in interpersonal relationships, there will inevitably be situations where there is a lack of understanding and empathy. However, you are the person who understands your own feelings the best, knowing when you are happy and when you are sad. If you can understand yourself, accept your feelings, and respond and act accordingly, meeting your own needs, then this kind of \"relationship\" may be the safest and most fulfilling. However, unfortunately, \"she\" cannot physically exist in the real world. And romantic relationships in real life may not develop exactly as you imagine, and they may not always be \"under control\" or constantly \"gentle\" and \"sweet\". Instead, they may go through unexpected interactions, and you will only understand these tastes when you personally experience them. Perhaps all kinds of relationships in the world are like this, it is difficult to achieve a \"perfect balance\", and only after experiencing them will you gain various insights. At this moment, I would like to encourage you, young questioner, to follow your heart, accept your feelings, and enjoy the experience. Because the world is full of infinite possibilities. Whether you want to continue accompanying \"yourself\" like this, or one day meet someone else you want to be with, both are worth celebrating. As long as you feel comfortable, happy, and satisfied at this moment, then this is a \"good relationship\" :) I wish you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1154
       },
       {
        "question": "Can you hit a child while educating them? How to establish authority?",
        "description": "The child is disrespectful towards the parents, threatening to harm others with a pair of scissors. Is it appropriate to hit them? What should be done if the child does not listen when spoken to?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, the process of growing up, and communication between children and parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~First, give the poster a hug. From the description, we can understand that: 1. The child disrespects their parents and threatens to hurt someone with scissors. 2. The poster wants to hit the child but considers if it is inappropriate. They don't know how to establish authority with the child without resorting to physical punishment. [Some analysis and suggestions]: 1. The fact that the poster is questioning whether to establish authority with the child shows that they are not inclined to be an authoritarian parent. They hope their child can grow up in a better environment, which is why they feel confused. 2. Punishment may have a place in a child's development, but physical abuse should be avoided as it can cause physical or psychological harm. Finding other ways to let the child know that their behavior is wrong might achieve the desired effect. For example, taking away activities the child enjoys or reducing their screen time can be explained to the child that it was a consequence of their bad behavior. If their behavior improves, the privileges can be restored. 3. Moreover, parental authority is more about setting a good example in everyday life rather than occasional outbursts of anger. Through the child's mistake, the poster can reflect on their and their partner's parenting methods, whether there have been any shortcomings in their teaching, if they themselves or their partner have used scissors to threaten or disrespected elders. Could the child be imitating someone else's behavior? By reflecting on and improving their parenting approach, the child will experience better development. Hope this helps and all the best to the poster.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
            "start": 11,
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           },
           {
            "start": 20,
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           },
           {
            "start": 79,
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           },
           {
            "start": 89,
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           {
            "start": 194,
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           },
           {
            "start": 254,
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           },
           {
            "start": 377,
            "end": 425,
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           },
           {
            "start": 425,
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           },
           {
            "start": 538,
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           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Preliminarily speaking, there are quite a few issues: 1. Lack of respect for parents, 2. Gesturing with scissors in a way that could harm others, 3. Whether it is appropriate to discipline a child, 4. A disobedient child. To sum up the problem, how can a child grow up to be friendly under the guidance of respectful parents? From a developmental perspective, children naturally have a deep relationship and emotional interaction with their parents, but this interaction develops under the guidance of parents. First, have the child and parents established a good attachment and intimate relationship? This requires parents to give appropriate attention, hugs, and support to their children, allowing them to feel a sense of belonging and security from their parents and forming a good attachment and intimate relationship. Second, are parents setting a good example for their children through their actions and words? This mainly involves combining actions and words because body language is the easiest for children to directly accept and learn from in communication, and it also accounts for a significant portion of communication. Verbal communication is mainly abstract, and the meaning may not be immediately clear to children. Lastly, to establish the parents' authority, it is necessary to establish a relatively stable family order by adhering to social norms, avoiding being overly rigid or excessively flexible, and gradually nurturing the child's characteristics through interactive games.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It can be done, but it should not be done indiscriminately. Specific situations need to be discussed specifically. For this particular issue, several points need to be considered: 1. How old is the child? 2. Why does the child not respect the parents? Do they respect others? 3. Why does the child wave scissors around? Is this behavior common? 4. How is the child's education situation at home? What intervention methods have been used? 5. How is the relationship between other family members? How do they interact on a regular basis? Asking these questions would already involve enough content for a counseling session. Only then can we determine whether it is necessary to resort to physical discipline. If the family relationship and parental education are not major issues, and the child exhibits some excessive misbehavior, it is acceptable to discipline them physically as a means of punishment and establishing behavioral norms. However, it is advisable to administer physical discipline in a matter-of-fact manner, providing proper guidance and not escalating to the point of humiliating the child. If there are problems in the relationships between family members and the parents do not respect the child, or if the parents' previous parenting methods have been problematic (such as excessive neglect, overindulgence, blame, etc.), physically disciplining the child will only intensify conflicts. It would be more effective to address the parents' behavior. This is just a joke, but if this is the situation, it would be necessary to focus on the relationships within the family. Ultimately, whether to physically discipline a child or not depends on the specific circumstances and needs to be analyzed accordingly. I hope both the child and the parents can become happier as the child grows up. ^_^",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10164
       },
       {
        "question": "I have been feeling extremely dark inside in the past two years, how can I become happy?",
        "description": "The past two years, 2019 and 2020, have felt dark. Although I had never achieved my goals before, my inner self remained positive. However, recently, I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed and defeated as everything around me is not what I desire.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, life purpose.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~I want to give you a warm hug~ Perhaps due to the pressure caused by not achieving goals for a long time, it is easy to feel frustrated. You need to have confidence in yourself, find the areas for improvement, and continue to work hard. Believe that you will be able to achieve your goals in the future. When feeling stressed, maybe you can go to the gym or engage in other sports to release some tension. When negative emotions arise, perhaps you can let go of what you're doing, take a moment to calm down, or go for a walk. In your daily life, you can also communicate more with your family or friends, and arrange activities with friends to strike a balance between work and leisure. This may help you achieve a better mental state and be more efficient in completing tasks.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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            "start": 69,
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           },
           {
            "start": 82,
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           },
           {
            "start": 111,
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           },
           {
            "start": 147,
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           },
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            "start": 183,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11359
       },
       {
        "question": "A 20-year-old girl often experiences hallucinations, and she easily cries and feels uncomfortable.",
        "description": "I am a 20-year-old girl and I constantly experience hallucinations of spiders or people rising from the ground, as well as strange creatures and the sensation of being touched by them. Sometimes, I hear voices during these hallucinations, but I don't feel them myself. I easily get excited and feel inexplicably uncomfortable and want to cry for no reason.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, disease diagnosis, treatment methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. It's great to meet you here. I feel very sorry for your current state, sending you a big hug. The questioner mentioned experiencing hallucinations, such as spiders or strange creatures appearing from the wall, as well as unpredictable bouts of crying and easily getting agitated in daily life. These hallucinations and \"unexplained\" emotions are not random occurrences. They may not have a direct, explicit cause, but they could be related to your personal experiences, personality, genetics, and other factors. Therefore, these negative emotions, which generate fear at this stage, are more like an alarm for your mental state. First of all, because hallucinations have already occurred, they cannot be easily resolved through emotional venting. Each person has a limited psychological tolerance, and once it exceeds that limit without timely guidance, it can lead to psychological problems or even mental illnesses. So it is important to seek timely psychological and medical assistance, have open communication with professionals, and it can effectively help you get through this stage. At this stage, having enough emotional support from the family can provide a sense of security and confidence. Therefore, I suggest you communicate your current situation with your family. When your emotions are unstable and you feel inexplicably depressed, your family can create a peaceful environment for you. Meanwhile, establishing a good intimate relationship with your family is also a good way to overcome inner fears, loneliness, and feelings of being unseen. No matter what happens, there will always be moments when we feel helpless or even overwhelmed by pain. If you cannot overcome it on your own, it is necessary to seek help from your family and doctors in a timely manner. Keep going! The world and I love you! Take care~ A little mushroom hoping for a gentle world and giving itself time to grow freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm concerned about your situation after reading your description, and I suggest that you take it seriously. Hallucinations are generally classified into: (1) auditory hallucinations: which can manifest as meaningless noises or meaningful voices. (2) visual hallucinations: which can involve seeing meaningless colors, flashes, or formed objects, often inducing a feeling of fear, such as seeing spiders or people rising from the ground. (3) olfactory and gustatory hallucinations: these two types of hallucinations often coexist, and result in unpleasant tastes or smells. (4) tactile hallucinations: which can manifest as a sense of touch, crawling sensations, needle pricks, electric shocks, or even a sense of sexual contact. For example, you may feel the presence of strange creatures and the sensation of them touching you. These symptoms suggest the possibility of organic brain lesions or psychiatric issues. I recommend you visit the relevant department at the hospital to rule out any organic brain lesions first, and then seek psychiatric consultation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's strange to feel like crying and feeling uncomfortable without any reason. Perhaps, usually when faced with negative events, you suppress your true emotions and can't express them, causing them to build up. The inability to release this stagnant negative energy reduces your threshold for tolerance, making it easy for you to get agitated and want to express all your emotions when even slightly emotionally stimulated. You can try exercising and meditating to scientifically and healthily release negative emotions. If you are experiencing hallucinations and saying things out of your control, but you are aware that these hallucinations are causing you some trouble, it is recommended that you go to the hospital with the accompaniment of your family to undergo some relevant examinations. Simple question and answer statements may not be able to uncover the underlying causes of hallucinations and provide solutions. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs and kisses to you. I see that you are feeling very uncomfortable and I don't know what to do. I noticed three things in your description: experiencing hallucinations, sometimes saying things, and the presence of \"spiders,\" which could be an intention or represent projections. They are rising from the floor with strange sensations and a feeling of being touched. This could also represent your actions or feelings towards this imagery. You mentioned experiencing hallucinations and saying things, but you are not aware of it yourself. You also tend to get easily agitated and feel inexplicably sad and like crying. These emotions have no apparent cause. Due to the brevity of your description, it is difficult to obtain more useful information and understanding. However, it is important to note that these signs indicate a need for adjustment! Emotions and hallucinations can make you feel strange and uncomfortable, and I am glad that you have noticed these signals. They may not necessarily be caused by any \"major event\" or something you have done wrong; it could be due to physiological factors. Therefore, if I were to give you any advice, it would be to go to the hospital for a proper diagnosis to determine the specific issue causing these symptoms, and then receive appropriate treatment. I hope this can help you, the world and I love you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there. How long have you been experiencing your current state, and have there been any significant recent events? Currently, it seems that you are experiencing symptoms of visual hallucinations, tactile hallucinations, unstable emotions, discomfort, neurotic symptoms, and mental symptoms. It is recommended that you go to a professional hospital for relevant examinations. Generally, if it is considered a mental illness, early detection and treatment can have very good results. Medication treatment can be very effective. (Of course, I am not a doctor, so I cannot make a diagnosis. This is just a suggestion.) It is best to seek medical help and listen to the diagnosis and advice of a professional doctor. In the meantime, try to find ways to help yourself relax and avoid excessive stress, which can lead to greater emotional fluctuations. You can try meditation and observe whether the occurrence of hallucinations and other symptoms is related to stress. Hang in there, and I hope this is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6257
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling disgusting as a welfare worker, how can I forget this experience?",
        "description": "I am actually a girl who is very conscious about cleanliness, to the extent that I didn't have my first love until I was twenty years old, despite having many suitors. But I made a foolish decision and became a cam girl to make quick money, so I joined a small group. I did a video that lasted less than 5 minutes, you know the content, I didn't show my face, and that person paid and then left. In the end, I received thirty dollars. I have been disgusted with myself for a whole day, or only because it has been just one day, I don't know if I will continue to feel disgusted for many more days. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much, and I feel like crying even as I type these words. I really want to see him and hug him, but I know that what I did is unforgivable if he finds out. I truly, I only realized how despicable and disgusting this kind of thing is when I was doing it yesterday afternoon. I really regret it so much. Of course, I will never do such a thing again in the future, but right now, the psychological torment is really severe. I beg you to help me. I truly feel so disgusted with myself, how can I forget about this experience?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, guilt and shame, emotional regulation, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I saw your post and I really want to give you a hug. Life is not always perfect and beautiful, and everything we have must be achieved through our own efforts. From your words, I can see that you are someone who pursues perfection, and it is precisely because of this pursuit of perfection that there may be moments of self-destructive behavior or long-term self-loathing. Pursuing perfection can be very tiring, very tiring, more tiring than you can imagine. So you often want to escape, to let go of your burdens, so you have taken another path towards perfection, hoping to find another version of yourself. The clash of these two opposing beliefs is very painful. I can understand this pain. I have a friend who got married and became a mother. She used to have a former mother-in-law who divorced her son. Her former mother-in-law had a daughter-in-law who was married to her son and became his second wife, so she turned legit. This daughter-in-law had gained houses from being a mistress in the town and the county. I'm not encouraging you to sell yourself, but because the daughter-in-law got money from being a mistress, my friend suffered. My friend is the daughter-in-law, independent and self-respecting, but one thing is not good, she has serious psychological issues. She has had a difficult life since she was young, being despised by her sister, who would steal things from home and blame her. Her sister was favored by her parents because she was smart and eloquent, which is why my friend has never had her injustice revealed. Even so, my friend tolerated everything, whether her sister stealing and blaming her, or other cunning remarks, she never took it to heart. She just wanted her sister and parents to live peacefully. But her sister didn't think so. When they worked together, my friend was very capable, and when her sister went home, she would complain to their parents saying that my friend was naive and didn't know that their boss was a pervert, while she tried her best to not get involved with their boss. My friend, on the other hand, no longer worked hard after hearing this and was scolded by her parents. Then her sister would say that she was too playful, and so on. Not only that, they also slandered and controlled my friend together with their relatives and friends. They stirred up their second aunt's prejudice against my friend, saying things like, \"She spends too much time with other guys and takes pictures without keeping a distance.\" They stirred up their uncle's bias against my friend, saying things like, \"You are a willful girl. You don't care about how good your sister is to you (their uncle likes their sister).\" They also stirred up their brother's bias against my friend, saying things like, \"The child my sister gave birth to is so clever. My brother said that this family has really good genes.\" They even let the neighbors criticize her, saying, \"Look at her handwriting, later your sister will say that you are flirtatious.\" My friend often wanted to change this situation, but she couldn't. She didn't even know why her world was like this. Before marriage, because of these things, she often couldn't work, couldn't date, and every time she had a boyfriend, her sister would have objections, saying that he was not good enough. When she was pursued, her sister would say, \"This guy is not bad, you can consider him,\" but then she would tell others that the guy was not good. When they lived together, after getting pregnant, her sister asked her to have an abortion, saying that the guy was not good, but after the abortion, she said that the guy was good and worth having. But when they turned around, she would cry to other people and ask why my friend liked him... My friend is mentally exhausted every day, unable to work, and because she has been tormented by her sister for a long time, she has become a bit uncontrollably neurotic. She knows she's not good, and she doesn't dare to date successful men, for fear of bringing them down. She married someone who is less successful and has flaws in his personality. She feels that this man can help her release stress and grow together. But the terrible thing is, their house leaks and they don't have a good house. They only have three rooms, can you imagine how big three rooms are? The mother-in-law was influenced by someone else (maybe she also had her own intentions) and did everything possible to make my friend not take care of the child herself and go out to make money, while she took care of the child. So my friend gave the child to her mother-in-law, but the mother-in-law couldn't take care of the child properly. She would go to play mahjong every day, and the child had to go to the provincial hospital once a year, several times to the county hospital, and numerous times to the village clinic every week. My friend took care of the child at home for a long time and the child was fine, but her former mother-in-law didn't stop tormenting her. When the former mother-in-law quarreled at home and went out to cry, she would say that her daughter-in-law was disrespectful and didn't let her take care of her grandchild. But the daughter-in-law actually took care of the child and looked after the shop. My friend's husband runs a water and electricity installation business and sells accessories. No one is watching the shop when they are not there. But the mother-in-law doesn't care, and her daughter-in-law, my friend, suggested that she look after the shop while she takes care of the child, but she was rejected. Now many people speculate and tell my friend, \"Maybe your mother-in-law wants you to make money like your sister-in-law, or do something special in the foot massage parlor like someone in the village (many people in this village rely on being mistresses or madams to get rich).\" My friend listened and remembered many words and actions of her mother-in-law, such as saying, \"It's so difficult for women to start a business. The business world is dominated by men. If you don't have relationships, how can you get promoted or have a good career and money?\" Or this former mother-in-law teaching my friend, \"Women should love themselves. Men are all selfish creatures. Which man would sincerely give you everything? And then she taught her to get sterilized, otherwise getting pregnant and having an abortion would harm her body.\" My friend had already discussed it with her husband, and he was going to get sterilized because my friend's health wasn't good. But after the mother-in-law showed her special concern, my friend's husband no longer mentioned getting sterilized. Instead, he avoided the topic when my friend brought it up. If you can read this, what do you think? Is my friend's life good or not? My friend is not bad, but she often has nightmares. There's a voice in her dreams that always says harshly, \"You should be a mistress, you are suited for it, you don't deserve to make money.\" My friend often cries late at night, her relationships with people around her are not good, and when someone shows a little care for her, she becomes even more sad. When she cries to her sister, her sister says, \"Stop crying to me. You're so stupid, who would bother with you?\" This story is just to tell you that it's not necessary to look down on yourself, and it's not necessary to pursue perfection so much, because life is inherently imperfect. My friend used to work in sales before getting married and was called a scammer by her own brother for more than ten years. They all dislike her. Now my friend has blocked her family's WeChat accounts and lives alone. She says she doesn't want to look back on the past, she doesn't want to go through it again. Some relationships need to be severed even if it's painful. Although my friend has poor health and often feels like she's dying, she says if work is an exam, she can only get 45 points at most. She says she hasn't done well enough at work, and she is afraid of everyone around her. But she still tries to adapt as much as possible. Friend, you are still young, don't be afraid of temporary setbacks. Face your thoughts and ask yourself why you want to be a mistress, because you really need money, or because you admire vanity and only care about fame and wealth? If you really need money, you can learn more and earn it gradually. If it's just vanity, you can consider lowering your living standards a bit, for yourself, your loving boyfriend, your parents, and future children, give them some assurance. Sometimes you will feel tired, but as you keep going, it will pass. Sometimes you will feel bitter, but as you keep eating, the bitterness will fade. Sometimes you will feel hurt, but as time goes on, the pain will diminish. Sometimes you will have certain thoughts, but upon careful consideration, they are unnecessary. If you feel like you've lost control, stop yourself and don't ruin your future. Finally, let me tell you, in that moment of being overwhelmed, my friend also stole. Like you, after stealing, she felt ashamed and dissatisfied with herself, but once her mind returned to normal, she tried to control herself as much as possible. I wish you the same luck, withstand the wind, sun, and rain, and bloom even more beautifully in the future.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. You feel disgusted with yourself, well, having this feeling is actually evidence that you are quite clean. 2. Forgetting, there are some things that are actually difficult to forget, what we need to do is not let it affect us, so what you need is not to forget, but to face this matter formally and not let it influence you and not blindly succumb to it. 3. The thing has already happened, we cannot make amends, regret is just self-deception. The only thing to do is to continue moving forward, do not look back, if you look back, you lose. 4. If you want to forget, then use the method of diverting your attention and keep yourself occupied. However, I still hope you can face this matter. 5. By the way, about your boyfriend, whether to tell him or not, follow your inner voice, if you want to stay together, then tell him, otherwise, it will become a thorn. Regarding your boyfriend's choice afterward, accept and comfort you, congratulations, you may have found a good boyfriend. If you cannot accept it, well, I don't know what to do either. Let me comfort you for now. Hugs to you. Of course, the final choice is up to you. I hope these are helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I can tell that you deeply regret and blame yourself for your past behavior as a welfare worker. In fact, such things are not uncommon, and our sexual attitudes that we have grown up with are relatively conservative compared to the West, which can lead to intense self-attack after certain events. First of all, we need to acknowledge that the past is irreversible. We need to accept both the good and the bad of our past. Everyone has things they don't want others to know, which can become a burden or a warning to prevent us from engaging in behaviors that may harm ourselves. Secondly, have a conversation with your inner child, deeply from your heart, accepting that child who made a mistake, forgiving her, caring for her, and embracing her. Tell her that it's okay, she made a mistake, but you still love her. I remember Qi Feng once said that the biggest drain on a person is not the depletion of physical or intellectual strength but the war they wage against themselves because in this war, both the enemy and the warrior are provided by oneself, including ammunition and even tactics. So, no one can sustain it. OP, your current pain stems from the struggle you are having with yourself. Your moral self cannot accept any blemish from the past, so it starts attacking, which has a tremendously negative impact on us. Maybe we should change our strategy and accept ourselves with openness, replacing attacks with care. This way, we can face our ideal future self with a positive outlook. Stay well, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I know you are feeling very sad right now. What's done is done. Don't have thoughts of reminiscing about the past. Keep your emotions in check and try to be happy. Don't dwell on these things. Relax naturally. If you constantly think about these things, you won't be able to accept them. If you feel guilty towards your boyfriend, then love him wholeheartedly now, with time, your feelings will gradually fade. Everything will be fine.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16120
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do people feel disgusted by the intimate relationship with same-sex friends?",
        "description": "A female friend who wasn't close suddenly started getting close to me, saying things like \"love you\" that are commonly said between young girls. It makes me want to stay far away, and sometimes just the thought of it makes me feel disgusted and want to vomit from the bottom of my heart.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, interpersonal boundaries, empathy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, hello, big hug to you! After reading your description, I feel really sympathetic towards your experience of developing a psychological aversion towards your close same-sex friend. Based on your description, you feel repulsed by the sudden change in attitude towards your same-sex friend, and intimate gestures are quite common within female social circles. Perhaps your reaction reflects your level of acceptance towards these intimate behaviors, as different levels of acceptance determine our interactions with others. It's normal that even with same-sex friends, you may struggle to adapt to certain intimate gestures. If you want to avoid such situations, I suggest you fully understand the other person's intentions or get to know their personality, as this will minimize misunderstandings. At the same time, explaining to the other person that you feel uncomfortable with these intimate gestures may lead to their understanding.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 385
       },
       {
        "question": "43-year-old married woman, suffering from anxiety and tension for decades, experiencing chronic headaches that cannot be relieved.",
        "description": "Decades ago, when I was taking the college entrance examination, I was under a lot of pressure and studied intensely for several years without getting in. After that, I sought medical help and was diagnosed with neurosis. Over the next few decades, my condition gradually worsened. My brain always feels strained and in pain, and I struggle to concentrate. I'm not as focused when reading as I used to be. Nowadays, I've started learning some psychology and realize that my personality tends to be repressed, and I get overly anxious and nervous about things. Even small things like my husband being the sole breadwinner and if he has a $100 bill, I constantly worry about how it gets spent, where it goes, whether it's worthwhile, and what to do if it's gone. I'm constantly plagued by self-reproach and inner turmoil. On a larger scale, when my daughter comes home from school, I start to feel time ticking and get anxious if she hasn't done anything after an hour. I look at the clock, and it only increases my anxiety and agitation. I lose control of my emotions and start nagging my daughter. My own mood is also terrible, despite having read so many books on psychology. I just can't seem to control my anxiety and constant nagging towards my daughter. I'm easily agitated and restless when something comes up. Another example is when I try to put my younger child to bed. I set a rule that they must fall asleep by 10:30 PM. I constantly check the time, and the closer it gets to 10:30 PM, the more my brain feels tense, and I become emotionally agitated and anxious. This happens every day, and sometimes my brain feels out of control. I've been suffering like this for decades, and it also affects my sleep. Is this anxiety? Can it be treated?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, and anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, my heart goes out to you. I feel sorry for the anxiety you have been struggling with since your school days, starting with the anxiety about your college entrance examination. Then you worried about your family's financial sources and expenses, and later on, you became anxious about your child's education and life. As you have noticed, these anxieties uncontrollably emerge in certain situations, affecting not only your mood but also your sleep and parenting your child, which brings you immense pain. You really hope to find a solution. First, explore where your anxiety comes from. Generally, anxiety is often influenced by our family of origin, that is, the influence our parents have on us. Do you remember the things your parents often told you during your upbringing? What did they usually say to you? Did these words make you feel nervous and anxious? If so, I suggest you do the following: 1. Get a pen and paper and write down these words, sentence by sentence. 2. Ask yourself: why did they say these words? What do these words mean to them? 3. What did these words mean to you back then? 4. What do these words mean to you today? 5. How would you respond if you heard them say these words today? Through this exercise, explore the relationship between your current anxiety and your parents' words, helping yourself become aware of the source of your anxiety. Second, manage your anxiety. After years of anxiety, your neurotic impulses have become more automated, including worrying thoughts, emotional restlessness, and behavioral expressions such as nagging and blaming your child. These three are interconnected and mutually influencing. I suggest you take the following methods to manage your anxiety: 1. Be aware of your anxiety. You have already done well in this regard, and you have good self-awareness of your anxiety. 2. Record your anxiety every day, including the thoughts, events, and behaviors that occur when you are anxious. See which events, which thoughts, these anxieties are often related to, and also sort out the ways and methods you have been handling these anxieties. You have also done well in this regard, so continue to maintain your awareness. 3. When anxiety arises, do not engage in any behavioral reactions. Just sit quietly and repeatedly imagine the worst possible consequences in your mind. If the worst outcome is that, slowly your anxiety will lessen. 4. Practice anxiety imagination training 11 to 2 times a day, imagining the worst possible consequences of the events that you usually worry about and feel anxious about. 5. Have 1 to 2 days of separation from your child per week or month, let the child stay with relatives, divert your attention from the child, experience the feeling of relaxation, and thus alleviate your anxiety. Third, sever intergenerational transmission. You are very attentive to raising your children, paying great attention to their life and time management. I believe this is related to both your own studies and your personal growth experience. Your own experience can be both a resource in the process of raising your child and can also have a negative impact on parenting. As you have realized, the anxiety you experienced in your own studies has resurfaced in raising your child. I suggest you try the following methods: 1. Hold a family meeting to establish household guidelines for shared living, including rules for homework and bedtime, etc. 2. Let the older child self-check according to these rules, and parents can give rewards or punishments according to the rules, thus cultivating the child's self-management awareness and ability. 3. Let the older child share the responsibility of taking care of the younger siblings, relieving your pressure and cultivating a sense of responsibility in the older child. 4. If anxiety occurs, follow the advice in the second point. Fourth, show more care for yourself. These years have not been easy for you. It was not easy to repeat the college entrance examination, bearing so much pressure and anxiety. It was not easy to raise two children, enduring so much hard work and carrying so much expectation and worry. Talk to friends and family about your hardships and difficulties. Seek help from a specialist hospital and get some anti-anxiety medication. Take some time to rest and relax. I hope these methods I mentioned above can help you. Welcome to continue the discussion.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, you have been living too hard all these years! Even a small thing can cause tension and anxiety. Your brain keeps pondering over a small matter, as if it needs a clear answer. You are constantly disturbed by various things, unable to find peace. It feels as if you are a speck of dust, easily lifted off the ground by a slight disturbance. Your heart can never settle down. I have also experienced this feeling for decades and don't want to continue like this anymore, so I started studying psychology. My teacher said that after several decades of patterns, it takes at least a few years to change. In fact, a few years may not be enough as the process of change is very slow. But one thing is certain: this long-term pattern of tension and anxiety can be changed! Let me share some insights: 1) Deeply study psychology and start with cognitive changes. You have also realized this, it is the beginning of self-exploration. 2) Seek long-term personal growth counseling. This is essential for exploring your inner patterns and past psychological traumas. It helps heal yourself and continue personal growth. Psychological counseling can work at the subconscious level, which is difficult for us to do ourselves. 3) Write a diary. Write down your feelings and events every day. It helps to organize your emotions, trace the relationships between events, and release emotions. 4) Have a dialogue with yourself. Anxiety, tension, and worries are the inner child telling us about her feelings, and she needs us to see her. If we constantly ponder in our brains, we will never truly see her, so she cannot be healed and will continue to cause us anxiety. Have a conversation with your inner child every night, telling her: you did well today! You deserve to be loved! You deserve a better life! 5) Practice mindfulness meditation. We have become too accustomed to thinking with our brains. To return from the brain to the body, we need to practice; we have been disconnected from our body's sensations and emotions for too long! This is something we can do ourselves, to help us become sensitive to our body's sensations again, which is very important. / In conclusion / Our patterns have been there for forty years, these patterns are also physiological neural circuits. It is truly not easy to change. Let's walk this path together! You deserve to live a comfortable and happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the floor owner a hug! I understand the floor owner's inner anxiety and restlessness. This kind of situation has persisted for decades without being resolved, which has greatly affected and troubled the floor owner's normal life, causing immense suffering. Anyone who encounters such a situation would feel unbearable pain. Therefore, the floor owner doesn't need to be so nervous. This situation is \"very normal\" for the floor owner and has gradually developed from long-term repression and anxiety. The floor owner mentioned having medical examinations in the past, which indicated neurosis, and these symptoms are relatively consistent. However, the floor owner's situation has lasted for decades, and many of the previous lesion symptoms have changed significantly, so it is no longer possible to define the conclusion based on the previous neurosis. Just because someone experiences anxiety does not necessarily mean they have anxiety disorder, but if someone does have anxiety disorder, they will definitely have symptoms of anxiety. The floor owner's anxiety has persisted for decades and is triggered by various things, making it generalized anxiety. When a person's brain and nerves are in a prolonged state of anxiety and unease, they will gradually deteriorate. Therefore, it is necessary to consider the floor owner's condition as an anxiety neurosis. The first step is to have an electroencephalogram (EEG) examination at the local neurology department to see if there are any organic lesions in the brain. If so, traditional Chinese medicine can be used for treatment. As for the floor owner's suppressed emotions and anxiety, after undergoing the EEG examination, it is recommended to schedule an appointment with a suitable therapist for systematic psychological counseling. This will help release the suppressed emotions and reduce the floor owner's stress, allowing them to face their true self and life with ease, naturalness, and peace of mind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Embrace the topic, the failures in high school have caused years of distress, to the point where I feel anxious and unsettled about my current life. Firstly, even small things like my husband being the sole breadwinner and him spending a long time contemplating even a hundred dollars in his pocket make me lack confidence in our current life. I have a strong desire to control my loved ones, wanting to control my partner and children, knowing their whereabouts, and feeling anxious if they don't tell me the truth. Although I have read many psychology books, I haven't had a clear explanation for the source of this anxiety. Secondly, I get tense and agitated when putting my second child to sleep, insisting they must fall asleep by ten-thirty. I constantly check the time and as it gets closer to ten-thirty, my nerves become more strained, and I feel restless and panicky. From the text, it seems like I may have symptoms of OCD, such as the need for my child to sleep at a specific time and the intense focus on it. This emotional state also affects my child, and I am aware of the problem. Thirdly, this happens every day, and sometimes my mind feels out of control. I have been suffering for decades, and it also affects my sleep. Is this anxiety and stress? Can it be treated? It is evident that I am conscious of my anxiety and OCD, and I hope to receive help, showing a strong willingness and desire to get assistance. From the text, it is clear that I need to find a professional mental health counselor or therapist to systematically understand, help, and treat me, and to have a comprehensive understanding of my behavior. I believe that with your willingness, your anxious feelings will improve, it's just a matter of time and your own willingness. You can try mindfulness training to calm your anxiety, which is a very effective method. Through daily training sessions of ten minutes, twenty minutes, or even longer, you can improve your sleep quality and subsequently achieve improvements in other areas. There is good news waiting for you. I am here, waiting for you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It has been decades, and you have gone through such a difficult journey! My heart goes out to you. You have been trying to help yourself by reading psychology books, but the results haven't been good. You can try a different approach and talk to a counselor. Through this counseling relationship, you can adjust your relationship with your child and provide them with a relaxed environment. I believe this will be very beneficial for their growth. You can contact me for online counseling.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Yes, it can be treated, but whether it is treated well depends on oneself. Letting go is not just a word, it's not just an action. It is a process that may be related to your original family, but everyone has already formed their own new family and some normal adjustments can be made. Try sports, music, give it a try. I wish you well, as someone who has seen themselves and strives to change.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16916
       },
       {
        "question": "18-year-old girl, discovered by her parents using adult toys, how to explain?",
        "description": "I was caught by my parents using small intimate products... They will definitely question me when they come back from work tonight, how should I explain this?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate, I think at this moment you may feel anxious, embarrassed, scared, and nervous... Various unsettling emotions make you unsure of how to respond to the questions from your parents when they come back home. When you think about how to explain, you feel that you don't want your parents to know about the fact that you are using small erotic objects, and you want to come up with a reasonable excuse to cover up this matter. You anticipate that they will question themselves, and you also want to avoid this fact. I can feel that the atmosphere at home is rather strict, oppressive, and discussing sex is considered shameful and something to be avoided. As a teenager in puberty, it is normal to be curious about sex, and this curiosity may lead to looking up information and discussing intimate topics with peers. It is necessary for parents to talk to their children about knowledge of physical development, necessary daily hygiene, and protection, even during this stage or even earlier. So what led you to using small erotic objects to experience sexuality? If your family tends to avoid or reject discussions about sex, for example, they are against seeing intimate acts like kissing and hugging on TV, then this will make children even more curious about why they are not allowed to see those things. These are all negative circumstances. Since these are considered bad things, it is also difficult to communicate them with peers. However, our physical development can lead to sexual impulses, and the conflict between our bodily sensations and moral consciousness is what caused this phenomenon. Regarding the reasons that led to your current behavior, such as wanting to see something or feeling restricted by others, feeling like you don't know anything among your peers, and simply being curious and wanting to understand, you can have an open conversation with your mother about your thoughts. Hopefully, they will allow you to see or talk about what interests you. You haven't done anything wrong, and discussing sex is a normal thing. It's also an opportunity to have a deep conversation with your mother. Good luck to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, actually I've experienced the same awkward situation as the OP. When I was 16, I was very curious about male reproductive organs because I had never seen one before, and sexual education was very limited during that time. It was impossible to learn about these things from my parents or school, and they even avoided talking about it. One day, on my way home from school, I was given a box of condoms by a community worker. Although I felt embarrassed, I put the condoms in my pocket because I wanted to see what they looked like. When I got home, my mom asked me to take off my coat and put it in the washing machine. To my surprise, she found the condoms in the pocket of my coat. I felt guilty and I could tell that my mom was startled too. At that moment, she didn't say anything, just told me to go to my room and do my homework. Later, during dinner, I actively communicated with my mom (my dad was away on a business trip). Although these condoms were given to me by the community worker, and not bought by myself, I was genuinely curious about what they were and I felt that no one had ever told me about these things despite my age. At that time, my mom didn't directly answer me. She said that I was still young and would understand when I grew up and got married. I guess my mom didn't know how to talk to me about this topic at that time. However, she found another time and talked to me about many related issues. Based on my own experience, I have the following suggestions: 1. Find a time to talk privately with your mother and discuss your situation. If she is willing to communicate with you, then directly talk to her about these issues. This not only avoids awkwardness but also strengthens your bond with your mother. Through addressing this issue with my own mother, we have come to understand each other better. 2. If your parents are strongly opposed or repelled by this topic, then don't talk to them about it anymore. However, you can let them know that you have grown up, you are an adult now, and you are no longer the little girl in their eyes. 3. Try to avoid the chances of your adult toys appearing in front of your parents again. Of course, you need to ensure cleanliness and follow safety measures when using them, so as not to harm yourself physically. The above are my personal experience and some small suggestions. I hope they can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's quite awkward, I guess my parents don't know how to bring it up either. They might either pretend they don't know or my mother will come back and talk to me. Do not get angry because of the awkwardness. If my mother is conservative, it's probably best not to try to change her views. Tentatively communicate your thoughts. If my mother is more open-minded, it might be easier. Sex is a normal physiological need, as long as it doesn't harm others or oneself, is consensual and not forced, there shouldn't be a problem. To reassure your parents, you can say reassuring words, such as guaranteeing no premarital sex, always using protection if with a boy, and not letting it affect your studies, etc.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8455
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you still have to use the method of confiscating my phone to educate me?",
        "description": "I waited until late at night to ask this question, so I don't think I'm emotionally upset. I am 18 years old, an only child, and a freshman. I cannot control myself from squeezing pimples, and as a punishment, my mother would take away my meal allowance, confiscate my phone, and other things that greatly affect my study and life. The most frustrating thing is when she takes away my phone. Usually, I keep my phone outside while sleeping and only use it when necessary. Many times, especially when I'm feeling down at night, I want to talk to someone, but who can I turn to? I admit that it's my fault for not being able to resist squeezing pimples, but I am really confused about why she confiscates my phone. Sometimes, the assignments given by the school are not as important as yours, so it wouldn't hurt to take away a child's phone, right? Maybe it's because I don't have enough economic independence, that's why. Overall, I feel helpless about why she forces me to compromise in this way. I get it, I shouldn't squeeze pimples anymore, but then what? I feel controlled and restricted, and it makes me very uncomfortable. It feels difficult to change others, so do you have any suggestions for me? Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication, and the process of growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I totally understand your feelings, sending you a big hug~ Parents using the method of deducting food expenses and confiscating your phone to educate you can make you feel confined and controlled. It shows that this approach has caused you more distress, and it is not necessarily the most correct method. Let's first objectively look at this situation. Parents do not want you to pick at your acne, so they take your phone and deduct food expenses. This indicates a lack of communication between you or ineffective communication, so they have resorted to a very direct way to restrain you. Have you previously discussed the specific issue with them? Have you reached a more agreeable agreement or a more gentle solution? After your phone is confiscated, are you able to control yourself and not pick at your acne? From the parents' perspective, they have indeed overlooked your feelings, but due to various reasons, they may not have thought of better methods. Therefore, I suggest that, on the one hand, you should talk to them and explain that you still need to use your phone to check school work and occasionally chat with friends to express your feelings and propose better solutions, seeking mutual understanding. Communication is always the most important. On the other hand, if they are unwilling to compromise, you should also adjust your attitude. They do have your best interests in mind, not wanting you to be constantly on your phone, even though this well-intentioned act might make you feel confined. Once your acne improves, perhaps you can have another good conversation with them. Parental control can indeed easily lead to a rebellious mentality, but you must exercise some restraint. Of course, you can directly express your feelings, making them aware that their decisions may not always be correct. The balance in this situation is something you need to explore on your own. Wishing you all the best~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that you are facing a conflict with your mother's parenting style not aligning with your desires. Let's break it down into two steps: 1. Is your mother's parenting style reasonable? Why is it like this? 2. How should you express your needs? Regarding the first step, at least for you, it is unreasonable. You are already 18 years old and should have your own independent thinking ability, but your mother is still using controlling methods to educate you, clearly disregarding your desires. During adolescence, communication should be the main approach, respecting the child's wishes. As another respondent mentioned, the way your mother is approaching it is quite direct, which is clearly a lazy educational philosophy. It's similar to the students I've seen before, where some fathers use a system of rewarding points for positive behavior and deducting points for negative behavior (the points can be exchanged for money or gifts). This approach is also a lazy way of parenting, treating children like machines. The end result is that children start to focus on material exchanges rather than emotional reciprocation when interacting with their peers. Education should never be reduced to simple input-output behaviors. To change this situation, it may require a serious and heartfelt conversation or the involvement of an authoritative figure to educate your mother. Regarding how to express your needs: firstly, you want to have your own space, to confide in others at night; secondly, you don't want to be treated like a child, you want to have your own autonomy, and not have your food or phone privileges taken away at the slightest mistake. If possible, the best approach is for the two of you to sit down and talk it out. We can directly ask your mother: what is your goal? Are the methods you are using really effective? What have you gained and lost from this? If you want to achieve your goal without hurting my feelings, what should you do? Can you accept that? If communication is temporarily difficult, perhaps inviting a third party to intervene could help. Lastly, I want to ask, where is your father in all of this? You are 18 years old and need to learn to have a sense of empowerment, to search for solutions when faced with things you cannot accept. Keep going and good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I saw your distress and I hope I can help you. I see that you have been punished by your mother by deducting your meal expenses, taking away your phone, and other things because you keep scratching your pimples, which has greatly affected your way of studying and living. You feel controlled and restricted, which makes you very uncomfortable. I truly understand your feelings and emotions. Perhaps we can try to look at this situation from a different perspective. First, let's switch positions and think about it. Just looking at the issue of scratching pimples, from your mother's point of view, it does affect your appearance as a daughter. If you were in your mother's position, facing a grown-up daughter who repeatedly ignores reminders, can you come up with a better solution? Do you tie your daughter's hands? Or install surveillance to catch her every time she touches her face? Try to seriously think from your mother's perspective, and you might have a deeper understanding of your mother's good intentions, which will make you less resistant. Second, self-discipline. Managing yourself well is the most convenient way to gain more freedom. From this perspective, the more self-disciplined you are, the more your parents will trust you and the less they will control you. Of course, there may still be cases of parents intervening excessively, but in your case, it is your actions that have forced your parents to take measures that remind you to take it seriously. Therefore, as you become an adult, learn to manage yourself well (including taking care of your skin), and let your actions show your maturity and growth to your parents, and you may gain more freedom. Third, positive interaction. In times of conflict, promptly communicate your feelings to your parents, let them understand your emotions and mood, and discuss better solutions together. This will not only improve your relationship but also help you grow happier. Wishing you new discoveries every day.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21395
       },
       {
        "question": "My mom says we don't have common topics to talk about, what should I do?",
        "description": "Mom is busy outside, and I am living with relatives. Once, after I washed my hair, mom called. I told her that I just finished washing my hair and will take a shower later. Mom said, \"Why don't we shower together? You are dragging your feet.\" I replied, \"Did you call just to scold me?\" She got a bit angry and hung up the phone. I realized my mistake, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP. After hearing your story, I feel like giving you a hug! From your narration, it seems like I can see a loving hedgehog mother and daughter. They clearly love each other and want to embrace each other, but they unintentionally hurt each other due to some objective reasons! Parents and children are supposed to be the closest people in this world, but they seem to be lost in the distance of reality! It can be seen that the main issue between you and your mother currently lies in communication, which is critical and judgmental in nature, a form of communication that contains elements of cold violence. Therefore, I suggest you learn some communication skills and try a different attitude and approach when communicating with your mother. Mother and daughter are supposed to be the closest people, and the solution to the problem is not just about saying sorry; being playful can also be a cute and effective way of apologizing. The more formal the expression, the easier it is to create distance between each other, while being playful is sometimes the best way to establish an intimate relationship with our parents. Because behind being playful lies love and dependence, we only playfully interact with those we love and those who love us and those we rely on. In a sense, being playful is also a way to express trust. I don't know the reasons why your parents are not by your side, but I believe they are also helpless in their hearts. So, you need to understand your parents and try to think about the problem from their perspective. Secondly, actively talk to your parents about your troubles, have more conversations with them, give them an opportunity to understand you, and give yourself a chance to be loved and cared for. Many problems arise from poor communication, so it is important to learn effective communication. I recommend you read some books on effective communication, which may be helpful to you. Wishing you well!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for inviting me~ When I saw your mom asking you why you don't wash your hair and take a bath together, and why you are so slow with these things, I thought of my mom. Maybe most of our moms are similar. Then, I saw your conversation with your mom, and it ended on a sour note. I can relate to that too, because sometimes when I talk on the phone with my parents, they hang up on me at the slightest disagreement, and that feeling is really unpleasant. I understand you. Mothers have carried us in their womb for nine months and given birth to us. They are the most direct and intimate people in our lives and our initial attachment objects. Parents are the most primal driving force for children, and mothers are the first soil for children's growth. If the attachment relationship between mother and child is harmonious, loving, and warm, then our growth will be filled with happiness. On the other hand, the relationship between mother and daughter may become \"mutually harmful,\" even a lifelong burden. Before answering your question, I'd like to talk about a movie I recently watched online. It's called \"Spring Tide,\" which was released last year. It's a movie about the \"Chinese-style mother-daughter relationship,\" social and family ethics, starring Hao Lei and Jin Yanling. After watching it, maybe because I was able to identify with it strongly, or maybe because I had similar experiences, I felt a bit heavy-hearted and touched. In the eyes of the mother, Ji Minglan, no matter what her daughter does or says, she feels irritated and annoyed. She verbally abuses her daughter, even taking away her granddaughter from her daughter to take care of, depriving her daughter of her rights as a mother. In her mother's mind, her daughter getting pregnant out of wedlock and living a disorderly life is just like her hateful husband. She never shows her daughter kindness but instead constantly mocks, targets, and says hurtful words, challenging her daughter's limits. She feels that after painstakingly raising her daughter, she now has to provide for her food and shelter, as well as take care of her granddaughter, sacrificing everything for it. But her daughter doesn't understand gratitude, is not filial, obedient, or repay her. She feels like she's living in a sea of suffering, in unbearable pain. On the other hand, the daughter, Guo Jianbo, doesn't feel her mother's warmth, respect, understanding, and love at all. From a young age, she only receives her mother's accusations, humiliation, control, and resentment. In this already incomplete family, the fragile mother-daughter relationship turns the entire family into a battlefield. In this kind of original family environment, the daughter feels a contradiction towards her mother: I hate my mom, but I still love her in my heart, and I long for her love. Even when she is in her forties and already a mother herself, she still can't understand: why is it that the mother, who should be the child's first attachment, the person who loves me the most, hurts me the most. This decades-long conflict only stops when the mother falls ill and the cursing in the home finally stops. The pain in the daughter's heart, Guo Jianbo's pain: the mother's dominance, cruelty, and heartlessness not only destroy a family, but also the image of a mother in my heart. A family is not a battlefield, and even if there is victory, it is not real glory. The detestable flaws of a mother will, without exception, deeply imprint themselves onto the daughter. The mother-daughter relationship becomes a repetitive cycle, and the genes flowing in our blood will subtly integrate into the child's body and mind, becoming difficult to erase. In the book \"Madness and Civilization,\" it is said that under various social constraints, most people have already abandoned physical violence. Instead, they choose a more civilized form of violence - verbal violence - to continue to harm others (including loved ones). Not all love needs to be proved through mutual torment. The release of negative emotions is the source of conflict in family relationships. Sometimes, we intentionally or unintentionally go against our parents and can't help but retort or resist. Under the influence of our parents, we also vent negative emotions in the same way. We become replicas of their words and actions. Over time, it forms a complicated and contradictory emotional relationship of love and hate. I think any relationship is mutual, and we should try to understand our parents and learn how to stand firm in our own views while effectively communicating and getting along with them. Parents can also try to understand their children, guide them positively with their life experiences, and lead by example instead of expressing their own emotions. Perhaps in this way, with mutual respect, understanding, and empathy, love can nourish each other. What do you think? Since you are aware of your problem and feel that you have hurt your mom, and it's making you uncomfortable, but you can't bring yourself to apologize. Is that right? Actually, your mom may also feel the same way, you know. So let's take the first step and adjust our emotions, apologize to your mom calmly and sincerely. If you can't say it, you can write it down and send it to her through your phone. Let her see what you want to say. This way, you won't feel awkward, and I believe that the feelings between a mother and daughter can be conveyed. Families should be filled with love, not supported by resentment. Parent-child relationships need more understanding and the courage to express love. Keep it up! You're actually great, believe in yourself!",
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          "answer_text": "Hug, I really understand your feelings, received! Actually, many family relationships are not good not only because of distance, but also because the inner child cannot get the feeling of satisfaction, constantly demanding and seeking attention. And this itself is not wrong. I guess the reason you can't apologize to your mom is not because you don't know it's not good to do so, but because you feel guilty. Whether it's the guilt of not understanding your mom's feelings even though she works hard outside, or the guilt of hurting her when she is just trying to do good for herself. And wanting love, wanting maternal love, and wanting companionship from mom is not wrong either. Craving love and expressing anger or temper is not a mistake, and apologizing is not about seeking something. It's about understanding, caring, and empathy. I used to be a person who hated apologizing, especially saying sorry. I felt like saying sorry was like being insulted, like admitting I was weaker than others. I felt like they were just venting their anger, blaming me, and saying sorry was just pretending. When I chatted with a classmate before, she felt that I, just like another classmate of ours, didn't like apologizing, didn't like saying sorry! She understood me very well and knew that I had a strong sense of self-esteem. I've been thinking about this for years, not because of what she said, but because I kept blaming myself! I know I'm such a terrible person, such a useless person, but so many people like me, want to be friends with me, want to help me. I've hurt so many people and I want to apologize to them all, but it seems like I haven't done that for the most part! My heart will deny her (my classmate), criticize what she said, thinking she is criticizing me. My heart has always been restless, thinking that those who curse me probably just want to make trouble for no reason, and I find myself ridiculous. I don't want to apologize, not because I don't want to apologize to others. It's because I don't want to apologize to this version of myself, this version that is so terrible but can be understood. I feel like even if others blame me and punish me, I deserve it. But later I realized that others also blame me, thinking that being sad and feeling guilty won't make them peaceful and happy, but will make them self-blame. I used to love criticizing others very much, and it's still the same now. Because I love criticizing myself very much, I'm willing to not forgive myself, not apologize to myself, and not forgive any behavior of others, even just a little bit. Because I feel guilty, very guilty, so I'd rather ignore it. Actually, most of the time, what we should do most is apologize to ourselves. Why don't we want to forgive ourselves when these emotions and feelings are so normal and heartfelt guilt? Why don't we want to forgive ourselves when we long so much for our mother's love? This is not weakness! It has never been a mistake!! It's not because we're not good enough! It's because you, we are daughters of mothers who have an uncontrollable love, so don't blame yourself, don't feel guilty. Your mom will surely understand you! If you can't apologize next time, just call your mom every day, and listen to her. I wish you can understand this self that loves your mom, that longs for your mom's company. Slowly get along well with your mom, understand each other. Understand yourself, understand your mom. I wish you peace, joy, gratitude, thankfulness!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 16227
       },
       {
        "question": "Can't get used to a life without a boyfriend, how to get through these few months?",
        "description": "When my boyfriend joined the military, I couldn't get used to the life without him and felt really sad when I couldn't reach him. I had to move out of the school dormitory because I needed to do an internship for transferring to another university, so I was left alone while all my roommates went for internships. I couldn't focus on studying by myself and kept getting distracted. I know that transferring to another university is important, but I always find myself daydreaming and I don't know how to concentrate fully on studying for the next few months.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the description provided by the topic owner, it seems that the topic owner is currently going through a lot of suffering. The boyfriend is not by their side, they also have to transfer, and the roommate is not there either, so they can only rely on themselves to get through this difficult time. It must be very painful, so here's a virtual hug for the topic owner. The topic owner mentioned that because the boyfriend joined the military and cannot be contacted, they have not been able to adapt. Even when faced with the important task of transferring, they still can't concentrate on studying. The topic owner may need to think about why they are so distressed by the temporary separation from their boyfriend and what their boyfriend means to them. Is it dependence on the boyfriend or fear of something? etc. Alternatively, the topic owner may need to ask themselves a few questions to become more aware of their inner feelings and needs. This will help the topic owner understand themselves better. Regarding the topic owner's current situation, here are a few suggestions that may help: 1. Facing the separation from the boyfriend, it is indeed difficult for us to adapt suddenly. Therefore, the topic owner needs to plan some activities for themselves to divert their attention from the boyfriend joining the military. For example, chatting with friends or going shopping, etc. 2. During this time, the topic owner may experience a lot of emotional exhaustion, so they should take care of themselves and consume a balanced diet. 3. Facing the transfer, if they can't concentrate on studying, the topic owner can set small goals for themselves every day. When they achieve those goals, they should give themselves small rewards or encouragement, whether it's emotional or material rewards. This will give them more motivation to study. 4. Transferring requires intense studying, but studying excessively can have a counterproductive effect. Therefore, it is suggested that the topic owner should schedule some leisure and entertainment time every day. This will enhance efficiency.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. It is not good to be unable to get used to not having a boyfriend. No matter how much you rely on another person, there are many things you have to face on your own, such as having a child in the future. Your future husband cannot replace or help you with that. \n2. A successful person is first and foremost an independent person with self-awareness, their own personal space, and the ability to be alone. Based on your description, you lack the ability to be alone. Only when you love yourself will others love you. If you don't have these abilities, and others become more successful while you remain stagnant, you will be left behind. \n3. The reason you are not working is because you want to switch to a bachelor's degree. Since you are having trouble studying now, why not go back to work? Working can also alleviate your current suffering.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! First of all, I want to give you a warm hug. From your description, I understand that your boyfriend is unable to be with you at all times due to serving in the military, which makes you feel uncomfortable and uneasy in your daily life. I completely understand your current emotions, as long-distance relationships coupled with worries about each other can intensify these feelings. However, we also need to take care of ourselves so that we don't make our partners worry and can focus on their military training. We should believe that no matter the circumstances, we can find the most suitable way to communicate with each other and maintain our feelings. As for the issue of not being able to concentrate on studying, we can try changing our learning environment, such as going to the library or other places, as such an atmosphere can help us study better.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9099
       },
       {
        "question": "How do I deal with my mother draining all my love for her?",
        "description": "My mother has a terrible temper and is very demanding of the people around her. She despises my father for being weak and incompetent, and she often expresses dissatisfaction with me and my husband. She doesn't have any close friends in her social circle. Since I started attending university, I have gradually developed my own thoughts, understanding myself and discovering my own identity, leading me to want to gradually break free from her control. However, she often uses harsh words to criticize me, saying that I am disobedient and have made her life miserable for the past few years. She even mocks me for having an education and looking down on her. I want to see her, care for her, and help her live a good life, but at the same time, I'm also afraid of being with her. Her sense of entitlement is too strong, and she will use any kindness shown to her as ammunition, keeping accounts of how much she has sacrificed for me and my father to prove that we are ungrateful and heartless. No matter how hard I try, she can always find something to be dissatisfied with and will never be truly content or live a peaceful life. Now that I have my own family, I can provide some material support to my parents and even gave them a comfortable new home, but she is still endlessly dissatisfied. I have spent a lot of time trying to understand her issues and concerns, but it has had almost no effect. Moreover, she has become somewhat neurotic, feeling that her marriage is especially miserable and constantly considering divorcing my father. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "For someone with a strong need for control, giving them a sense of control in form will make them feel more at ease. For someone who has a strong need to give, allowing them to give and then expressing gratitude will make them feel that their efforts are worth it. Your mother has both a strong need for control and a strong need to give. On the surface, or in her words, you can obey her, but privately, you should do what you need to do. When your mother gives, express gratitude immediately, and she will not feel resentful in her heart, using it to attack you. Your mother's temper, criticism, including disdain and dissatisfaction, are actually manifestations of her own need to be strong. A strong-willed person never has an easy life; she has too many standards and limits in her heart, for herself and for others. The control and criticism you experience, as well as your father's disdain, your mother experiences the same, because the voice she expresses often reflects her own feelings. From your words, I can see that you are not internally confused, which may be due to what you mentioned: \"Since I went to college, I have gradually developed my own thinking, understood myself, and discovered myself, so I wanted to gradually break free from her control.\" This is something to be grateful and joyful for. You are a strong woman! When you have enough material and psychological strength, you may want to save your mother, but you find it useless. Yes, your mother has lived most of her life this way, and it is not easy for others to change her unless she wants to change herself. When she is unwilling to change, helping her change will not only be ineffective but also increase her dissatisfaction. It is better to use understanding to achieve better results. For example, thank her more, agree with her more, and accept her more. You may think that you are agreeing with and accepting even when she is wrong, won't that encourage her \"arrogant demeanor\"? No, you should believe that your mother has a basic ability to distinguish right from wrong, even if her words are still hurtful. If your mother feels unhappy in her marriage, you can express your views with a casual attitude. Marriage is a matter between parents. It is up to them to resolve it. If you think too much about interfering, it will have a counterproductive effect. You can break free from your mother's psychological control and give her a sense of power in form. At the same time, you also need to be aware of whether you are trying to control your parents in return. Are those so-called good intentions, just like their good intentions for you, a disguised need for control? You are so intelligent, I believe you will find the answer in my response! Best wishes for the happiness of your whole family!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Your mother is habitually critical of people around her, and growing up in such an environment must have been tough for you. In your relationship with your mother, both of you are actually in pain, whether it's your mother's habit of criticizing others or your acceptance of her criticism. There can be many reasons for criticizing others, such as inner dissatisfaction, anxiety, fear, high expectations, and more. On the other hand, those who are criticized may become timid, self-doubting, and develop many negative emotions and behaviors. When being nitpicked, it's important to understand that it's not your own problem, set boundaries for yourself, and minimize its impact on you. I think you have already done a great job at this. For example, when she accuses you of looking down on her or treating her poorly, you know in your heart that it's not true and that you have done what you were supposed to do. Your mother's personality and habits have been ingrained for decades, and changing them is not easy. No matter how much you do for her, even providing her with a comfortable new home, it may not change her habits. I understand that you want your mother to be less miserable and that you want both of your parents to be happier, but your mother's life is her own, and her personality has nothing to do with you. So don't make yourself too anxious or worried. Take care of your own mental well-being first and then try to meet some of your mother's demands as much as possible. Being filial to your parents and doing what you can is enough. You don't need to see your parents' happiness as your responsibility.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Facing a controlling and negative mother can be quite helpless. Even if you put in more patience, care, and filial piety, it's still not possible to fulfill your mother's inner sense of lack. It also greatly affects the relationship between your parents and your mother-daughter relationship. From your mother's perspective, while she is blaming and complaining, her own life experience is also very bad. She feels like she is surrounded by thorns, hurting others as well as herself. We don't know what your mother's childhood experiences were like, but her strong sense of control and the need to constantly emphasize her own worth is a manifestation of her inner insecurity and lack of a sense of safety. She wants to prove her usefulness and need for attention through exaggerated blame and accusations. Your mother is not aware that there is any problem with her behavior and thoughts, meaning she is not bothered by it and doesn't have a subjective desire to change. By spending so much time trying to analyze her psychological issues, you will only reinforce her thoughts and behavior. From another perspective, your approach is also a form of control, trying to make your mother change according to your own ideas. If your mother doesn't want to change her state of mind, those around her can't easily change it either. This is a personality trait that has been formed over decades, related to her original family and life experiences. Perhaps there are things that she has experienced that you cannot fully understand. What problem do you really want to solve? Do you want to change your mother's thoughts and behavior, or do you want to change your mother-daughter relationship? For the former, seeking help from a professional psychologist would be beneficial, while for the latter, you can try adjusting your own perspective on these events. Family problems are also problems between family members. Managing the psychological boundaries of each person is the key to solving these problems. For controlling parents, their problem lies in repeatedly crossing boundaries, whether or not they intend to do so. Regardless, they are still other people, even if they are our loved ones. We can only protect our own psychological boundaries. Understanding the inner pain of your mother, being willing to understand and be more tolerant, is the basis for improving your relationship with her. We can only do our best to contribute to our elders, whether or not they can accept it or in what way they can accept it is up to them. What we can do is manage our own thoughts and behavior. I hope my answer can be helpful to you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Do you want to change your mother or yourself? This question is important. If it is the former, she needs to see it from the bottom of her heart. If it is the latter, then all you need to do is to work hard. However, there is also a possibility that your mother will change as you change yourself, but that only happens when you have extremely strong energy. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. Your mother has a really bad temper and is very demanding of people around her. She despises your father for being weak and incompetent, and she often expresses dissatisfaction with you and your husband. She doesn't have any close friends. (It seems that your mother's character is quite \"unique,\" demanding strict standards from people around her. What about herself? Is she the same? Or does she have \"double standards\"? If she treats others and herself with the same strictness, she may have \"obsessive\" problems. If it's double standards, then the problem is simple.) 2. Since you went to college, you gradually developed your own thinking, understood yourself, and wanted to gradually break free from her control. But she often uses hurtful words to accuse you of not being obedient, making her suffer for several years, and ridiculing you for being educated and looking down on her. (Actually, if you think about it, what she said makes some sense. But what she doesn't know is, \"Is her reasoning wrong? Doesn't she allow others to resist?\" Maybe your mother still has a stronger ability to \"control people,\" and people with this personality can change, at least after being constantly struck. But the problem is, she will be hurt, unless a professional counselor intervenes to help her understand.) 3. You want to see her, care for her, and give her a good life, but you are also afraid to be with her. Because she feels a strong sense of entitlement, turning all the good she does for others into a weapon, settling accounts for how much she has done for you and your father, and then proving that you and your father are ungrateful, heartless people. (Hmm, you love your mother very much and want to care for her and help her, just like all the good things she has done for you. But her paranoid personality not only offends others but also hurts you and your father. Her goodwill always turns into bad things, and she remains trapped in her own misconceptions. She is in pain, and so are you.) 4. No matter how hard you try, she can always find fault with the good things in life and is never satisfied. She can never live a peaceful life. (Hmm, she has a hollow space in her heart filled with dissatisfaction, grievances, sadness, and pain. So it's not that you are not doing well, it's that her hole is too deep. Your current efforts are just a \"drop in the bucket\" for her. She turns all the pain into \"not good enough.\" Maybe she doesn't want to, but in her pain, you and your father become mourners (accompanying suffering). When you want to break free, she uses moral blackmail on you. But please don't worry, one day she will understand, you have to live your own life first before you can save her.) 5. Now that you have your own family, you can provide some material support to your parents, and even give them a comfortable new home, but she still has endless dissatisfaction. You have spent a lot of time trying to understand her problems, but it has had little effect. And she has become somewhat neurotic, feeling that her marriage is particularly miserable and always thinking about divorcing your father. What should you do? (Dear, maybe you don't really understand your mother? Perhaps she was dissatisfied with life because of material shortage in the past. But now that the material aspect has improved, she is still dissatisfied with your father. And her dissatisfaction with you is because you don't understand her? From a psychological perspective, if a person stays in a certain state for a long time, they can become neurotic. As time goes on, as long as there is a problem that touches on or is similar to the edge, it can easily trigger a burst of emotions, usually others will have no idea why. Actually, her saying she wants a divorce may not necessarily mean that she really wants one. Sometimes you can just go along with her words, of course, there are also skills in this. Look for an opportunity to communicate with her.) Conclusion: I wish your family happiness and joy! I hope your mother will get out of her pain soon! If you have any confusion, you can message me!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings very well. Every family has their own difficulties, and this problem is indeed distressing. Your main issue is that your mother has a strong desire to control and is dissatisfied with the people around her. Although you want to care for her, you are also afraid of interacting with her, which has left you conflicted and confused. Your mother has a bad temper and demands a lot from those around her, and this is a result of her personality. It is difficult to change a person's character, but adjustments and efforts can be made in other aspects. 1. Understand your mother and think about the reasons behind her actions from her perspective. Does she constantly blame others because of high expectations, past hardships that have formed strict demands, or excessively high expectations of the people around her? Your mother's behavior reflects her inner feelings. Try to understand the reasons behind her actions by considering her background and life experiences, and empathize with her emotions. Truly feel her thoughts and slowly understand what she wants. 2. Be more tolerant and communicate more. Our mothers are the people closest to us, from the nine months of pregnancy to raising us to adulthood, and every mother's journey is not easy. When there is a disagreement, communicate more. Some things require discussion, and the emotional bond between mother and child needs to be maintained. Besides material support, the most important thing is spiritual understanding. Our mothers lived in a different era, and we may not fully understand the hardships they experienced. Therefore, we need to be more understanding and accommodating. 3. Do what you can, and let the rest happen naturally. Your mother has always had a strong personality, so let it be. If you constantly try to change your mother, it will only bring both of you pain and lead to more intense arguments and conflicts. As you grow older, you have your own thinking and have started to escape your mother's control, which is indeed a helpless move. What you can do is to visit home frequently, provide material and emotional support to your mother, and tolerate her dissatisfaction and criticism. Fulfill your duties as a child, and let time resolve the rest. 4. Help your mother build a social circle and encourage her to go out. Your mother may not have close friends, so you can try to help her make some friends or encourage her to join activities such as square dancing. This will not only help her relax but also meet new companions. You can also assist her in finding her interests and engaging in activities she enjoys, allowing her to integrate into a community of peers. I wish you and your mother to overcome this distress and live a happy and fulfilling life.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Growth is about finding breakthroughs, changing paths, spiraling upwards, and becoming a better version of oneself. Mental Journey: The original poster primarily describes the relationship issues with their mother. The mother has a bad temper, is demanding of people around her, despises the father for being weak and incompetent, and frequently expresses dissatisfaction towards herself and the father. As the original poster gradually grows up, they gain a deeper understanding of the relentless criticism and desire to escape their mother's control. However, the mother does not want to let them escape and often mocks and ridicules them and the father. The original poster has always wanted to make an effort to improve this aspect of their mother, but despite their best efforts, they are unable to make any changes, and their mother remains the same. Living environment: The mother's controlling personality greatly affects the original poster's life and creates a conflict in their desire to break free from the mother's control. Although the original poster has grown up and has their own life, the mother's strong sense of control is a source of immense pain, as they long to break free but are bound by blood ties, and desire change but feel powerless, leaving them with a profound sense of helplessness. Changing trajectory: What does the mother want? The original poster has always wondered why their mother controls them and wants to change her. To be honest, it is very difficult to change one's mother at her age; she has been set in her ways for a long time. The original poster wonders if they have ever considered that their mother's deep complaints reflect a deeper desire. What does the mother really want? Or perhaps, what was she most afraid of as a child or in the past? Why does she constantly seek control and fear losing something? Understanding what the mother wants and fulfilling her desires is the key to truly changing her. Communicating with the mother: Once the original poster understands what the mother truly wants, they can communicate with her about how to obtain what she desires. Small goals can be set to allow the mother to achieve them, building her confidence. Complaints cannot solve problems or fulfill one's desires. Cementing the mother's transformation: After achieving the mother's goals, it is necessary to solidify her new ways. This can be done by continually setting and achieving a series of small goals that allow the mother to solidify her own mindset, live with confidence, and face life in a new way. Understanding what the mother truly wants - communicating with the mother - cementing the mother's changes - changing trajectory - spiraling upwards - becoming a better version of oneself.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Reading your description, I can sense that you are facing your mother's intrusive love, aggressive words, and her seemingly endless demands that drain your energy and leave you feeling empty. It seems like you have endless dissatisfaction and it has left you mentally and physically exhausted. You don't know how to deal with such a mother and it has caused you a great deal of distress. From your description, it seems like you haven't clearly stated what you want. I can see that you have many frustrations and helplessness. The last sentence asks, \"What should I do?\" Is it about what you should do or what your mother should do? When you ask \"What should I do,\" what aspect are you referring to? Do you not want your mother to divorce your father? Do you not want your mother to deplete all your love? Do you want to replenish your own love? Do you want to help your mother sort out her own issues? Do you want to know how to deal with such a mother? Do you want your mother to stop interfering in your marriage and personal life? I understand that facing such a mother can make you feel at a loss and agitated. Firstly, for yourself, you need a \"moment\" to express all kinds of emotions and release the various feelings bottled up inside you. (For your mother) After releasing your complex emotions, you can slowly figure out what you need to do for yourself. It seems like your mother's behaviors fill your heart, emotions, and even your life. You will need certain ways to release the long-suppressed emotions in your heart. You need to understand that many things and actions revolve around your mother actively. Or in other words, your mother uses various methods (verbal violence, moral coercion, and frequently mentioning divorce) to seek attention from those around her. Just like a spoiled child who gets whatever they want, always finding a way to get what they desire through tantrums. And it usually works, so they continue to use these tactics. In this situation, the main focus is on the mother, and you will lose your \"sense of self\". Many things revolve around your mother's affairs. (This is due to your mother's family environment and life experiences) For you, 1. Learn to observe your own feelings and thoughts, slowly finding yourself again. 2. Learn to face such a \"domineering\" mother. 3. Understand why you always get caught up in this situation and understand why your mother behaves this way. 4. Only then will you slowly realize what you can achieve and what you cannot. Lastly, when you ask what to do, I simply hope that you understand that you have control over your own life, and you can find happiness and fulfillment in your own way.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand the difficulties you are facing because you have a narcissistic mother. You mentioned that since you started college, you gradually developed your own thinking, understanding yourself, and discovering yourself, and you wanted to gradually break free from her control. However, she often uses hurtful words to accuse me of not being obedient, which she claims has made her suffer a lot in recent years. She mocks that I look down on her because of my education. I want to see her, care for her, and let her live a good life, but I am also afraid to be with her. Her sense of sacrifice is too strong, she turns everyone else's kindness into her weapon, calculating how much she has done for me, how much she has done for my father, and then using it as evidence that we are ungrateful and heartless. No matter how hard I try, she can always find something to be dissatisfied with in good times, never being satisfied and never being able to have a peaceful life. It is understandable that your mother is \"narcissistic.\" Narcissism, as the name suggests, is self-love. Narcissism is one of the basic characteristics of human nature, and almost everyone has some narcissistic traits. However, these traits have a degree: if there is only a little narcissism, it is normal; if there are a particularly large number of narcissistic traits, then it is pathological. It is the influence of your mother's pathological narcissism that has affected you. Because your mother is narcissistic, she only cares about herself and never considers your feelings. She is more concerned about herself and has no empathy for her own daughter. She has never appreciated your efforts. That's how narcissistic mothers are, always picking out flaws and criticizing others. She only sees the shortcomings in her daughter and constantly criticizes them. Even if her daughter makes the smallest mistake, she will point it out and criticize it. Because of her narcissism, she wants her daughter to live in a way she likes, so she controls everything about her daughter and leaves her with no sense of self. Because of her narcissism, the other members of the family have to revolve around her (the mother) and completely ignore the daughter, which makes the daughter unable to feel the love of the family. So what should you do? Faced with these injuries, there is no other way but to first, accept them. Accept the harm caused by a narcissistic mother. This may make you feel unwilling or find it difficult to accept. But there is no other way, you can only accept it yourself, accept that your mother is not like most mothers who have love and care for their children, but rather a narcissistic mother. Because you cannot change others, you can only change yourself. Give up the hope that your mother will change and set yourself free. After all, you have your own life and should not be bound by the previous generation. After accepting it, you can try to release your emotions, release all the unhappiness you have experienced with your mother, and then break free from her influence and be your true self. Finally, you can choose to seek help from a professional psychologist.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Your mother has chosen a life of complaints and suffering, and as an observer, you can see clearly and genuinely want to help her, but often feel powerless. This is the situation in many families. I have become increasingly pessimistic about people's ability to change; you can never wake up someone who pretends to be asleep. However, I also have my optimistic side. I believe that there are also many people who have a sudden awakening. You love your mother, and in material terms, you can repay her. But when it comes to her mental well-being, what can you do if she refuses to listen? My suggestion is that when she complains and talks about her sacrifices, you can try to comfort her and patiently listen the first few times, but later, you can change the topic. Is this a form of emotional abuse? I don't think so. Why should everyone let her dwell in a \"victim mentality\"? Maybe it would be better if there were no audience. I recently stayed at my grandmother's house for two months. She constantly complains and blames others for many trivial matters. I used to try to console her. However, I found that it was ineffective and only made things worse. Proximity breeds contempt, it's really like that. In the same space, everyone's flaws are magnified. When she claims she has always been giving, it proves that she has never truly loved you. I read this in a book. When I look at the older generation around me, those who truly have love in their hearts never talk about how much they have sacrificed for others. Of course, I can't do it either. But I know that those who have a heavy sense of sacrifice are not genuinely expressing love. Because true love is willing to give and is filled with joy. To understand your mother's issues, you can find the answers by looking at her own family background. Who is really making her constantly give and feel obligated to give?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15229
       },
       {
        "question": "I just did something really stupid and feel embarrassed. What should I do?",
        "description": "I thought the guests outside had left, so I started singing with my headphones on. I feel so embarrassed. What should I do, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, guilt, shame.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If I were a guest, I would think you are very adorable because that is your truest side. Sometimes, expressing your true self occasionally will not cause others to feel disgusted; instead, they will perceive you as genuine and it will be easier to establish trust. Also, don't think too highly of yourself. Sometimes, the embarrassment you feel may only exist in the moment for others, and they probably won't even remember it later. Your emotions are just a result of overthinking, and even the embarrassment is only in your own perception.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
            "start": 27,
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           },
           {
            "start": 65,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 76,
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           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11464
       },
       {
        "question": "My mom insists on buying expensive things for me to apply on the scar, what should I do?",
        "description": "Because I have a scar on my face from an injury, my mom doesn't want me to disfigure myself. After hearing what others said, she wants to buy me expensive products to apply on it, but I feel like they might not be effective. So I'm really conflicted, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can see that both you and your mother are people who prioritize others over themselves. At the same time, I guess that both of you have an attitude of wanting to solve problems as best as possible when faced with them. In your mother's eyes, the more expensive the medication, the better the effect, and it also reflects her willingness to contribute more for your sake. In her eyes, you are definitely more important and valuable than money, and I believe that you must have your own thoughts and feelings about this issue as well. Have a good conversation with your mother, express your gratitude for her concern and love for you, and also share your true thoughts. The above are just my personal opinions, for reference only. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are a happy daughter, and mom loves you very much! Mom hopes to help you remove the scars on your face, no matter how much it costs. It shows that mom loves you very much. Mom's idea is not wrong either. You are worried that it might not work. You can learn about the effectiveness of this ointment. After all, you haven't tried it before. Wouldn't it be better if it works? If it doesn't work, you can think of other ways to fulfill mom's wish and make yourself more beautiful. Are you hesitant and conflicted because you're afraid of spending money without results? You are also a sensible daughter. Actually, if the economic conditions allow, it is possible to find a way to restore the scars on a girl's face.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2861
       },
       {
        "question": "Should the visitor be more paranoid, should the consultation continue?",
        "description": "I consulted with this visitor for about two months. From initially understanding the situation to gradually delving deeper, both parties now accept and trust each other to some extent. However, while the visitor acknowledges the need for action and improvement, they are unwilling to truly take practical steps. Recently, I noticed that they have become somewhat paranoid, and their emotions fluctuate greatly (crying one moment, sighing the next, and laughing afterwards). Should I continue this consultation? There are certain issues with self-esteem and cognitive patterns. The visitor had previously undergone several years of counseling with another therapist, which ended in disappointment (they may have misunderstood many interpretations from their parents and the therapist; they can comprehend the words but not process them).",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you very much for the invitation, OP! Sending you a hug! It seems that the issues this visitor is dealing with have caused some difficulties for you, causing you to lose your direction and not knowing what to do. In previous counseling cases, I have encountered a similar situation. The visitor had been to counseling with me many times before, but her emotional changes were still apparent. At that time, I suggested that she try accepting her fear, but she was unwilling to do so. Or perhaps, I didn't realize that she didn't have enough inner strength to accept and face her emotions. That's why she released those emotions to me; it was her inner need. Later, she told me that she really hoped I could tell her that I am here with her and love her. At that time, I didn't ask her why she said that; I just said those words to her as she requested. Her response was to thank me for understanding and accepting her. In other words, when she still had noticeable emotions, I didn't provide enough understanding, acceptance, and support. She needed more attention, understanding, acceptance, and love. The situation with this visitor is quite similar. His emotional fluctuations and low self-esteem can be seen as a rejection and lack of acceptance of himself. Or it can be said that he lacks enough inner strength to support accepting and understanding his shortcomings. This also indicates that the depth of your attention, understanding, acceptance, and recognition is insufficient. The fact that he has already had many counseling sessions with you shows that he trusts you a lot. This is rare. If you were to end the counseling relationship like this and ask him to find another counselor, it would be a setback and hurt his psyche, affecting the progress and effectiveness of future counseling. However, if you want to continue counseling, you need to first adjust your own psychological state, put yourself in the counselor's position, maintain a relatively neutral stance and attitude, and express some of your own feelings and thoughts to the visitor, such as your confusion about his fluctuating emotions. Listen to what he says. This can release his inner pressure and make him feel that he is being attentively understood, accepted, and recognized by the counselor, making him feel safe. This can gradually encourage his personal growth and inner strength, enabling him to slowly accept and face the issues he has. He often misunderstands the counselor's words, which, aside from his own lack of understanding, have a lot to do with how the counselor expresses themselves. Inner self-esteem and lack of security are like those of an underage child. Talking to him using adult reasoning naturally won't make him understand. We can use language that is clearer and easier to understand, like how we speak to a child, without requiring deep thinking, making it easier for him to understand. This way, the pressure on him will be smaller, and he will feel more relaxed and at ease. OP, you can think about which moments during the counseling process with this visitor were more appropriate, providing sufficient understanding, acceptance, and recognition, and which moments were not. Think about when the visitor's emotional fluctuations occurred. Then, make some adjustments, change your attitudes and approaches toward the visitor, and see how it goes.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           },
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            "start": 10,
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           },
           {
            "start": 18,
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            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 63,
            "end": 182,
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           },
           {
            "start": 182,
            "end": 282,
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           },
           {
            "start": 282,
            "end": 337,
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           },
           {
            "start": 337,
            "end": 446,
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           },
           {
            "start": 446,
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           {
            "start": 536,
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            "start": 633,
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            "start": 775,
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           },
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            "start": 881,
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The description of the visitor in this paragraph is filled with judgment, which feels inappropriate. The reason why the visitor is seeking counseling is because they have their own issues - they may be paranoid, experience significant mood swings, have problems with self-esteem and cognitive patterns, and misinterpretations, otherwise they wouldn't seek counseling. Additionally, \"ending in disappointment,\" who is the subject of the disappointment? Is the visitor paying for counseling to satisfy the counselor's narcissistic needs, saying, \"You need to change, otherwise I'll be disappointed\"? This kind of counseling is misplaced, and may not even have therapeutic effects for the visitor; it may just be compulsive repetition. Counseling should be centered around the visitor, regardless of the approach. We can only go along with the visitor's current feelings and follow their stages. Even if there is no change for decades, it may still be beneficial for them, as they have someone to accompany them during this difficult time, which they may not be able to find in their reality. To provide good counseling, supervision and personal analysis are necessary, otherwise we may mislead others and ourselves. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10191
       },
       {
        "question": "32-year-old woman, particularly afraid of appearing in crowded places, how to build self-confidence?",
        "description": "32, female. Always lacks self-confidence and is particularly afraid of being in crowded places. Also dislikes talking to strangers. Feels like she doesn't have any strengths. How can she build self-confidence?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, hugs to you. I can totally relate. Your situation is somewhat similar to how I used to be, and it's a common issue among many girls. Your concerns and situations are as follows: 1. Feeling extremely anxious about appearing in crowded places. Try to exercise more and desensitize yourself mentally. 2. Not liking to talk to strangers. That's okay, no need to change that. 3. Feeling like you don't have any strengths. Discover your talents, unearth your potential, and find your own value. Build a foundation of confidence for yourself. This may be related to your childhood experiences or to your parents' traditional methods and attitudes of education. For example, traditional education methods, based on traditional concepts of \"modesty as a virtue\" and \"reserved and not showy\" ways, often practice a punitive approach in educating children, frequently using the \"stimulation method\". Under the influence of these traditional virtues, when parents have high expectations for their children but the children fail to meet these expectations, parents may be inclined to criticize and strike rather than praise and encourage. Many children may have never heard a positive and affirming word or evaluation. And so, slowly, these children are unconsciously hypnotized, gradually accepting their statements, and becoming extremely self-deprecating, looking down on themselves. This is a mental issue. There are also behavioral issues like everything being overly arranged, being puppeteered, so they are unable to experience the sense of achievement of accomplishing things, and feel worthless. Here are some solutions I have summarized: Work on inner self-development, give yourself more positive encouragement, practice mindfulness meditation, rebuild your confidence, and strengthen your inner self. Cultivate the \"courage to be disliked\", not caring about others' opinions, not comparing or contrasting, only comparing yourself to your past self, feeling comfortable with yourself is enough. If you don't know how to do makeup, just take care of your body, having a good complexion without makeup is just as attractive. If you can't achieve it at the moment, makeup is the quickest way to enhance your appearance. Exercise, dance, improve your body posture, get in shape, and you'll be much more attractive than having a pretty face alone! If all else fails, work on your inner self, have a mind filled with poetry and books, and radiate an aura on your own.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6537
       },
       {
        "question": "In my eyes, family members always have flaws. How can I change my perfectionism?",
        "description": "It's probably influenced by my upbringing. I have a severe tendency towards perfectionism. In my eyes, my wife and son always have flaws and are not as excellent as others. I also have an avoidant personality and rarely have confidence in myself. I feel down and constantly find everything unsatisfactory: financially inferior to colleagues, not doing as well as classmates, and my son not being as outstanding as others. How can I change this mindset?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-improvement.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I saw your question and I hope I can offer you some warmth. There are many reasons that may have caused the issues you mentioned, it could be due to your own original family or it could have developed later on. But it's really great that you dare to face your problems and try to change yourself! Here are some suggestions: 1. When facing such problems, it might be because you care too much about others' opinions and overlook your own thoughts and your family's. So, you can choose to shift your attention back to yourself and your family, and you may unexpectedly discover many things you hadn't noticed before, and gain joy and happiness. Often, we care too much about others' opinions and neglect what is truly important. So, you might want to try concentrating on your own family. Every family is different, no one is perfect, and when you can't do something, don't force it. This way, you can experience more happiness. 2. If the confusion stems from your original family, then you need to change yourself. Issues brought by the original family are often not easy to solve and difficult to truly change, as they can affect your daily habits, personality, etc. In this case, you can try to help yourself overcome this confusion within your current family. You can involve yourself more in your family, try to spend more time and care for them, while also being mindful not to push yourself or your children and family too hard. Have confidence and love for your own family, rather than focusing on the external world. Try to live like everyone else, and as much as possible, avoid falling into the mindset of perfectionism. Lastly, I hope you can overcome your confusion and wish you a happy family! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can feel the OP's inner repression, loneliness, anxiety, and fear, as well as the lack of self-confidence. It's difficult for the OP to understand and accept themselves fully and it's also challenging to develop enough trust in others outside of themselves. It's hard to understand and accept others, even their own family members, just like how the OP sees their wife and son, thinking they have many flaws and are not as good as others. These circumstances are usually closely related to the environment in which they grew up, especially the relationship with their parents. The OP mentioned having an avoidant attachment style, which indicates a lack of intimate interaction and emotional communication with their parents. Facing intimate relationships, they lack a sense of security, and as a result, instinctively avoid understanding and accepting intimate relationships. This is a subconscious way of protecting oneself. The OP can try to change their perfectionism by first accepting and acknowledging their desire for perfection. Then they can explore the underlying reasons behind these thoughts and what they are expressing. What do they long for and what do these thoughts bring to them? Accepting these thoughts doesn't mean they have to act on them. The existence of \"perfection\" is relative. Without comparison, there is no absolute perfection or a fixed definition of a perfect goal. In other words, while accepting their pursuit of perfectionism, the OP can also accept their own shortcomings and self-denial. They don't have to fight against these thoughts, but rather allow them to exist in an unseen form, not \"driving them away,\" and give them some freedom. They can also feel the acceptance and recognition that comes with it. Accepting these thoughts doesn't mean they have to do everything exactly as these thoughts dictate. They can do the things they want and are able to do, but also consider whether it's appropriate and the potential impact of doing them at that moment. If they can do it, they can, and if they can't, they can do it at the right time. For example, if someone is in a meeting and suddenly remembers that they haven't finished a document, and feels anxious and eager to do it, they shouldn't act on that thought at that moment. Instead, they should delay doing it until after the meeting. This way, they can satisfy their own needs and reduce their own stress. The desire for perfectionism is a subconscious need of oneself and accepting these thoughts is equivalent to accepting the true self, making the \"size\" of oneself larger, and enhancing one's strength. By meeting the needs of the self, they can easily and naturally feel the power of the self and face family relationships and life without these current troubles.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: I have observed that OP's perfectionism is causing distress, but I also noticed OP's bravery in expressing their concerns and seeking help from others. This undoubtedly helps OP to see themselves at a deeper level and better understand their relationships. I have observed that OP has their own awareness of the reasons for their perfectionism, which undoubtedly helps them to see their needs at a deeper level. Now I will share my observations, which may help OP have a more enriched perspective on possible issues. 1. How we treat ourselves is how we treat others. I have observed that OP often focuses on the faults of their wife and son, and rarely has confidence in themselves. They constantly feel dissatisfied and feel inferior in various aspects, such as economically, compared to colleagues or classmates, or feeling that their son is not as outstanding as others. From this description, what can be observed is that OP seems to be more prone to see their own flaws and those of their family members. This is because how we treat ourselves is how we treat others. If we are more prone to seeing our own flaws, we are also more likely to see the flaws in others. If we cannot accept the part of ourselves that is not good enough, we cannot accept the part of others that is not good enough either. Therefore, if OP wants to make adjustments, they need to redirect their energy back to themselves, first deal with their own relationship with themselves, live their own life well, and then work on improving relationships. 2. Accepting the real self, acceptance is the beginning of change. Our suffering comes from wanting our ideal self and not wanting our real self. The more we resist and suppress our real selves, the more we suffer. So, learn to accept the real self, accept the complete self. Wholeness is better than perfection. How do we accept? Accept the part of ourselves that cannot be changed and focus more energy on the parts we can adjust. Instead of exhausting energy on the aspects that cannot be changed. Only by accepting our imperfect selves can we have the possibility to accept the imperfections of our family members. Imagine a person who cannot even accept their own flaws, how can they have the ability to accept the flaws of others? 3. Reinterpreting our original family OP, as a perfectionist, probably experienced conditional positive attention in their original family. They had to achieve something before their parents or caregivers would give them something. This conditional positive attention suppresses the part of ourselves that we believe is not accepted, and we express the part that is accepted in order to gain recognition. However, this slowly distances us from our true selves and makes it harder for us to accept the part of ourselves that is not good. So now, as we grow up and look back, we realize that such relationship patterns were just survival skills from our childhood. Now that we are grown up and have the ability and resources to reexamine and reinterpret our experiences, we can ask ourselves if they still serve us. By doing so, we can break free from our original family. There is no perfect original family, but we can have a better version of ourselves. Our original family has an influence on us, but when we become aware of its impact and make an effort to reinterpret it, we can be reborn.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the original poster! After reading your description, I have a certain understanding of the questions you want to ask, so here's a virtual hug in four-dimensional space. From your description, I can understand that you have been influenced to some extent by your family upbringing, which may be due to your parents' strict expectations for you to strive for perfection in everything. It is not wrong to pursue perfectionism in life and work, but excessive pursuit of perfectionism can cause you a lot of distress. For example, you may always focus on the shortcomings of the people around you and even magnify their flaws. Although they may also have many strengths, your excessive pursuit of perfectionism may lead you to overlook these strengths and feel that they are not enough to offset the weaknesses. As a result, you may become overly critical of the people around you, which is not conducive to a harmonious family atmosphere. Additionally, you mentioned that you have an avoidant personality and lack self-confidence. I think most of the problems you are currently facing stem from your family upbringing. Growing up in a less than ideal family environment naturally leads to a lot of adverse effects on oneself. However, these influences don't have the final say, only we do. If we can make efforts to change some of the negative effects, that would be great. For those influences that we can't change, we can allow them to coexist with us in order to reduce their impact on us. From the latter part of your description, I can see that you like to compare yourself with others, but you haven't mastered the proper extent. As a result, the outcome is predictable \u2013 you will increasingly look down on yourself and become more and more lacking in confidence. Comparing ourselves with others is actually quite normal, but we must control the degree of comparison. If it becomes excessive, it can have a significant impact on our mental and emotional well-being. Moreover, when we compare ourselves with others, we must face our own strengths and weaknesses and not compare our weaknesses to others' strengths. It must be a comparison within the same category, only then can it inspire us to have a positive mindset. In fact, those who appear to be doing better than us have also worked hard for a long time and faced countless hardships. As outsiders, we only see their success and rarely see their efforts. Finally, I have summarized some methods to help you ease your current situation. (1) Try to discover the strengths and shining points of your family members. For their weaknesses, learn to be tolerant, after all, there is no such thing as a perfect person in this world, only people who will get better and better. (2) If you cannot achieve perfection in your endeavors, then strive to improve them to the best of your ability. At the same time, don't put too much pressure on yourself and learn to accept everything as it is. (3) Comparisons can be used for good; however, comparison should be done in moderation and can drive us to develop in a better direction. (4) Learn to shift your focus and engage in activities that interest you or read books for healing. (5) When you are under significant stress, learn to release this pressure through aerobic exercise or engaging in a sports activity. (6) You can confide in the people around you, share the things that have been bothering you, and release your emotions. The world loves you, and I wish you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings. The root of your problem lies in extreme lack of self-confidence. \"It might be influenced by your upbringing, as I have a serious tendency toward perfectionism.\" Your upbringing placed a high demand for perfection on you, and your parents constantly criticized and educated you for any slight imperfections. This upbringing that demanded perfection has shaped you and caused you to develop an extremely insecure mindset and personality. In order to avoid any imperfections, you have gradually developed an avoidant personality, fearing being looked down upon or ridiculed by others. \"In my eyes, my wife and son always have flaws, they are not as outstanding as others,\" \"I always feel dissatisfied with various things: my finances are worse than my colleagues, I haven't achieved as well as my classmates, my son is not as outstanding as others.\" In a sense, it is because of your lack of self-confidence that you have created this phenomenon of yearning for what others have. Many people have such a mindset, longing for happiness that they perceive from others, while neglecting to find their own \"happiness\". It is like what Mr. Money said in the novel \"Fortress Besieged\", \"the people inside the fortress want to go out, while the people outside the fortress want to go in.\" Think about the wife and child you have walked with. It is precisely because they tolerate your flaws that you can be happily together. Why can't you focus more on their strengths and good qualities? Why can't you sincerely praise your wife and child? Instead of complaining and feeling melancholic, it is better to cultivate and strengthen your self-confidence, take care of your family, and strive for a better life. This is the most meaningful thing. When you have confidence and feel the joy of striving for life, you will discover that everything in the world is so beautiful!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, due to the influence of my original family, I have a serious tendency towards perfectionism. Now, perhaps through learning or reading books, I have deepened my understanding of myself and realized that my personality has been influenced by my original family, and this personality also affects my wife and son. I want to break this cycle. The original family - myself - wife, son. I am the mediator who forms the influence, so how can I change myself? From your description, I noticed the words you used to describe yourself, such as \"economically worse than colleagues, not doing as well as classmates, son not as outstanding as others.\" These words that came out through comparison are quite negative. But are they true? Economically worse than colleagues: Have you compared with the entire company? Or with which colleague? Not doing as well as classmates: What does it mean to do well? Higher income? A higher job title? Son not as outstanding as others: How do you define outstanding? Is it academic performance or character? Through these questions, I believe you will have some reflection. We often get stuck in dead ends because we only see one road ahead, but if we look up and look around, we will find that there is not just one road, but there are roads on the left, the right, and even behind us. I hope this answer is helpful to you! Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ The perfectionist tendencies towards others are an unrealistic idealization and expectation that others should be perfect, that they should do things according to one's own desires. On the other hand, the perfectionist tendencies towards oneself are driven by a desire to experience the feeling of failure, so one sets higher and higher standards for oneself, or is extremely afraid of being seen as incompetent and feeling inferior. Perfectionism is always related to cognitive issues. So perfectionists think like this: If I perform well and have strong abilities, then I like myself; If I don't perform well, it means I lack abilities, so I feel terrible about myself - performance becomes a measure of your abilities and worth. It is important to deeply understand that abilities can be developed. Through hard work, we can become smarter and better over time. Effort allows us to excel in something. And we don't have to excel immediately because we need effort, practice, and time to broaden ourselves and become skilled in unfamiliar fields. Even though failure can bring a sense of frustration, it does not determine a person's worth. Instead, it is a reason to work even harder instead of making you retreat, procrastinate, or give up. The focus should not be on performance, but on what you have learned, what excites and motivates you, and what you have changed and improved. Results are just a backdrop, while change and improvement are the core. So once your thoughts start to spiral endlessly and imagine the terrifying consequences of failure, at this point, as soon as you become aware of this emotion, immediately stop and tell yourself that it is perfectionism playing tricks on you, that the consequences of failure are just exaggerated. Also, take a look at how you define failure, is it a failure just because your income is not as high as your coworkers? Let me share a quote - \"In the midnight hour, memories flood in, both beautiful and painful: the suffering, mistakes, unfinished business, and various things that make you feel ashamed and sad. However, everything, good or bad, pain or joy, is painted into the rich tapestry of life, becoming the nourishment of my thoughts and the driving force of my progress.\" Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there. I can understand the feeling of being very tired and exhausted. Perfectionists strive to do everything smoothly from start to finish, and any setbacks or shortcomings in the process can make them feel frustrated and inadequate. The topic you mentioned, which has also been of interest to me for a long time, is: what should one do if they discover that they are a perfectionist? Here are some of my own thoughts and suggestions on this: Firstly, recognize the root cause of your perfectionism. You are right, perfectionism may indeed be related to one's upbringing and, essentially, a lack of security. If you had strict parents who did not allow you to make mistakes, it is likely that you will not allow yourself to make mistakes as you grow up. Manage your expectations well. As a perfectionist, you may have an ideal image in your mind that you want to become, but even a small mistake can shatter that illusion for yourself. You may believe that you have to achieve a score of 100 to be excellent, but someone who can achieve a score of 80 is already very outstanding. Perfectionists often, when achieving 80 points, will think, \"Oh why am I not perfect? I am indeed a terrible person.\" I just want to say, allow yourself to make mistakes, accept yourself making mistakes, and always remember that there is still 20 points of room to deduct. Only compare yourself to your past self. Ernest Hemingway (maybe it was Hemingway) once said, \"Excellence is not about comparing yourself to others. True excellence means being better than your past self.\" As long as you make a little more progress compared to your previous self, I think you are an amazing person. When you compare yourself to others, objectively speaking, you will find that you have strengths and weaknesses compared to others, but your focus is only on the areas where you fall short, so why not let go of the obsession to be superior in every aspect and accept your own imperfections?",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I sense that you want to change your mood~ In your eyes, both yourself and your wife and son always have shortcomings and are not as outstanding as others, which makes you feel unhappy. In this lifetime, we will eventually accept our mediocrity. We are all unknown, born in this world. The majority of people try their best, but in the end, can only have an ordinary life. Ordinary people cannot be perfect. We need to learn not to be enemies with our own mediocrity. Sometimes, we are unable to live a good life not because there are millions of people blocking our way, but because we are constantly fighting against our own mediocrity. Zhou Guoping once said, \"Everything extraordinary in this world will eventually return to being ordinary, and its value should be measured by living an ordinary life. Greatness, brilliance, and success mean nothing. Only by truly living an ordinary life can one have a fulfilling life.\" You should try to accept your own and your family's mediocrity, and enjoy the ordinary. Perhaps life is not as bad as you imagine. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's just acceptance. The OP said it's influenced by the upbringing in the family. I have a serious tendency towards perfectionism. In my eyes, my wife and son always have shortcomings and are not as excellent as others. I also have an avoidant personality, and I rarely have confidence in myself. I am always melancholic and always feel dissatisfied with various things: I am economically worse off than my colleagues, not as successful as my classmates, and my son is not as excellent as others. How can I change this mindset? Loving someone means accepting their flaws. The OP should love his wife and son very much! Besides understanding how to love others, we also need to understand how to love ourselves. Only when one's heart is filled with love, can there be surplus love to give to others. Therefore, it is important for us to love ourselves, unconditionally accept ourselves, change our beliefs, and alleviate anxiety. Unconditional self-acceptance means we need to understand that the success or failure of our actions does not represent our personal success or failure. There is no connection between them. We should not evaluate ourselves in a comprehensive and generalized way based on a certain behavior. We should also not evaluate our wife and children in a comprehensive and generalized way. For example, if our goal is to have a good job and earn a lot of money, but unfortunately, we become unemployed, then in terms of this goal, unemployment is not good, it is a failure because it hinders us from achieving the goal. However, what fails is the action of becoming unemployed, not me as a person. I will not evaluate myself in a comprehensive way just because of unemployment and think that I am a failure. In fact, I can never determine whether I am a failure or a success. I may be unemployed and fail in the job aspect, but I could be kind and filial to my parents and successful in personal character. When we can make such distinctions and learn to see the positive side, our problems will be greatly improved.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 12279
       },
       {
        "question": "14-year-old girl, I always feel various problems arising from the great pressure?",
        "description": "I don't get along well with others, I like to be alone and have gotten used to it. But some people try to be friends with me and I don't know how to respond to them, especially the opposite sex. In elementary school, I was bullied by some people which caused me to have a bit of fear now. This makes me very distressed. I am very passive, in other people's eyes I may be seen as a quiet person who hardly speaks. There are also some people who I feel are against me, I don't know who is right or wrong, I don't dare to say if it's me or if it's them. The interpersonal relationships are complicated and messy, and some people specifically target me and insult me, I don't know why, maybe it's because of me? I'm not sure. Because of these things along with the pressure of studying, I completely break down. My academic performance has seriously declined and I even have symptoms I have never had before, like a reluctance to study. Some teachers and classmates want to help me, but I don't know what to do. They say I'm always overthinking, but I can't change that, I don't know why. What is wrong with me? I can only use my phone to escape from reality, I don't want to face it, I always find all sorts of excuses to avoid it. I don't dare to ask for help from others because I can't explain what's wrong with me. It feels so terrible! I don't like my phone, but I have no choice but to use it.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, behavioral abnormalities",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel sorry for your situation and hope that you will recover soon. Bullying in schools is a lesson we have to learn in our growth process. Some children who are bullied are afraid to talk to their parents and suffer silently. I once had a visitor who was 12 years old and being bullied. The visitor's mother was also the teacher of the class, but the parents did not pay attention to the child being bullied. As a result, the child was forced to drop out of school and the mother was unaware of it. The disappointment in parents and teachers turned into self-disappointment. The neglect or indifference of parents and misunderstandings make children feel helpless or unworthy. Even when they encounter problems, they will not seek help from their parents or express themselves to them. They may even be misunderstood as having a problem which leads to them being bullied. Some children may even be physically abused. Children who are bullied at home by their parents are most likely to be bullied at school. Growing up in such an environment fills children with fear but they are unable to express their fear and seek help. Eventually, the self-protective measures born out of fear carry hostility, even if we think we don't have hostility, we instinctively express it. When we cannot protect ourselves and cannot obtain help, the disappointment in parents, teachers, and the environment ultimately turns into a disappointment in ourselves, a self-denial and doubt that we cannot even protect ourselves. If we can't say it out loud, then write it down. We need to learn to seek help, and the first people we should trust are our parents. At school, we should trust our teachers and classmates. Not everyone is a bully, just like not everything you say represents resistance and hostility. Sometimes parents do not express their love, as they have not received training in being parents. Their way of expressing love may be through humiliation, denial, blame, or even verbal abuse. For example, when a mother reminds us to wear warm clothes, she may say, \"You deserve to freeze to death,\" but her intention is \"Darling, remember to wear your clothes, it's cold today, be obedient.\" So, if you can't express your problems and needs clearly in words, you can write them down on paper and express them with notes or letters. Only when we start to express ourselves can we learn how to protect and love ourselves, and only then can we receive the help and love we need. Although you are in middle school now, I feel that there are still many basic growth issues from lower grades that need to be resolved. I recommend the \"Psychology for Elementary School Students\" comic book series, which can help you face the basic problems encountered in your growth process. Of course, you can also read the more advanced book \"Live as an Optimistic You\".",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7120
       },
       {
        "question": "Eighth-grade girl, recently always feels like she will be killed?",
        "description": "I dare not turn off the lights every night when I go to sleep. I always feel that someone will come into the house or that someone in the house wants to kill me. Because of this, I suffer from insomnia, experiencing fear and thinking there is someone behind me. I am afraid that something bad will happen to me, such as a car accident. I often feel inexplicably sad and burst into tears. I frequently shift between extreme happiness and sadness. I feel that people are talking bad about me and that nobody has good intentions towards me. I also have suicidal thoughts and there are many self-inflicted knife marks on my hands. I cannot control my thoughts and don't know what I am thinking. I often speak incoherently and have a strong desire to talk, but I don't know what to say. I heavily rely on my phone. Do I have any mental health problems?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, anxiety, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Child, when I saw the title of your question \"8th grade, ...\", I couldn't help but open your post. My child is also in 8th grade, and after reading your story, I feel a sense of empathy and want to give you a virtual hug. Auntie also wants to say, if possible, please think carefully about who you can trust, whether it be a family member, teacher, or an adult who understands psychology, and seek their help, okay? Before seeking help, please take good care of yourself, okay? This may just be a dark period in your life, but please believe that everything has cracks where light can enter. Wishing you well, and know that the world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Child, I'm really worried about you. If possible, please find someone you trust as soon as possible, it could be your parents, family members, your homeroom teacher, or the school's counselor, and seek help. Before that, please take care of yourself and refrain from any self-harming behavior. Existence is meaningful, so each of us has our own purpose and value. We all encounter difficulties and troubles during the process of growing up, and sometimes we may even experience harm from others. But please believe that there is always a way to solve and overcome these challenges, so seek help. Because it's difficult to find the root of the problem in just a few words on this platform, please understand. Wishing you smooth and good health!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17637
       },
       {
        "question": "Diagnosed with PTSD, my parents say I am using my illness as an excuse.",
        "description": "Recently, I was diagnosed with PTSD. These days, my parents mentioned taking me to see a traditional Chinese medicine doctor. I agreed to go today, but I just don't want to go out and I don't want to go. He says I always do whatever I want for a long time and it seems like I really do. He always thinks I'm lying to him or deceiving him. I don't know what to say, I'm just frustrated and have a headache. I feel like running away from home, I want to die, really want to die. I just want to make them suffer. I hate them. He says I don't have an illness anymore, I'm just being stubborn and using my illness as an excuse. I really want to kill them, I really do, I'm so annoyed. I'm crying and gasping for breath, I don't want to take responsibility for myself anymore, I just don't care about the consequences. I'm so damn fed up.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, how are you? You have been diagnosed with PTSD. What traumatic event did you experience? Since you have been diagnosed with PTSD, it means that you have not fully recovered from this trauma. I suggest continuing to see a psychologist and undergo psychological therapy, combined with medication, which should help alleviate your pain. Many people actually do not understand psychological problems. They often think it's just overthinking and something you can self-regulate. Maybe your parents think the same way. They may not understand PTSD and do not understand that your pain may be something you cannot overcome on your own. They may not understand that going outside may be really difficult for you. It's really painful not to be understood, and I understand your frustration. However, seeking understanding from others is not an easy task, even from our closest and most loved ones. We need more patience and open communication instead of assuming they should understand our mental state, thoughts, and feelings. You are in a lot of pain right now, feeling overwhelmed, and even considering doing something extreme, feeling like you no longer want to take responsibility for yourself. It's okay to occasionally have these thoughts. We all have moments of vulnerability and wanting to escape, and it's okay. You can allow these thoughts to come up, allow yourself to take a break, cry when you need to, and accept the pain. Respect and accept your own feelings. After your feelings are fully accepted, maybe these thoughts will subside, and you will regain your rationality and strength. Of course, if you find it difficult and painful, I suggest seeking help from a psychologist or counselor. Especially when you have extreme thoughts, be careful not to let impulsiveness lead you. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi! It seems like you don't have a good relationship with your family because of a lack of understanding between each other. Even though you genuinely don't want to go out, your parents say you're stubborn. They don't understand why you don't want to leave the house, and you're also annoyed by their insistence on making you go out. Lately, you seem to be quite frustrated. Do you have something on your mind? You can talk to a mental health professional who can help you overcome this situation and feel less burdened.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 14898
       },
       {
        "question": "Changed shifts, changed dorms, not adapting well, too noisy, what should I do?",
        "description": "I'm not very accustomed to it. This dorm is too noisy, but changing rooms all the time is too troublesome and will give the new classmates a bad impression. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates and classmates, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ I can sense that you're currently not adjusting well in this dormitory. You're worried about constantly changing dorms, which may have an impact on your roommates or yourself. Therefore, it's important for you to understand the lifestyle in this dormitory. Why are the people in the dormitory so noisy? One reason could be that everyone gets along well and can easily chat and show their true selves in the dormitory. When chatting, you can also try to join them and understand their personalities, which can help you communicate better with them. You can also express your thoughts during the conversation, such as how you're not accustomed to a noisy dormitory. Then, you can discuss with your roommates to find a suitable lifestyle for everyone. For example, there can be times when everyone is happy and lively, and times when everyone is quiet to focus on their own activities. Best wishes~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 21192
       },
       {
        "question": "\"What is 'empathy holding technique'? Is it a new counseling method?\"",
        "description": "\"The technique of promoting regression through empathetic holding is employed to facilitate healing for visitors. This therapeutic approach is based on which theory, and is it targeted towards visitors with specific issues? What are the risks associated with such a treatment plan? What should be taken into consideration? Does this technique still have therapeutic effects when visitors are already aware that empathetic holding is a therapeutic intervention?\"",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this is a very interesting question, let me try to answer it. I don't think that empathic attunement is a \"technique,\" it is more like an \"attitude and ability.\" Empathy was initially proposed by the humanistic representative Carl Rogers, who described it as understanding another person's experiences in the world as if you were that person. However, at the same time, you always remember that you are still different from him; you just understand that person, rather than becoming him. Empathy also means letting the person you empathize with know that you understand them. Rogers said in his article: \"Gradually, my understanding of empathy expanded into a counselor's ability to feel. When I empathize with a visitor, I can feel something inexplicable rising in me that needs to be expressed. This may sound strange and perhaps a little elusive. But I have found that whenever I express these unspeakable things, visitors resonate with them and finally find an outlet for their vague thoughts and emotions.\" As for how to empathize with visitors, there are indeed some technical practices, such as providing content feedback and emotional feedback. This leads to another question in the title: \"When visitors already know that this kind of empathy and attunement is a therapeutic method, does it still have a therapeutic effect?\" My response to this question is that visitors still have doubts about the attitude of counselors. Repeating my words and reflecting my emotions is just your technique; you are not really willing to understand me, and I don't trust you. In this situation, the counseling relationship is still in the early stage of establishment. Faced with visitors' mistrust, each counselor will have different ways of responding. If it were me, I might say, \"I sense that you don't seem to believe me; you are still watching me carefully, worried that I might be another person who could potentially hurt you. This makes me feel a little frustrated and powerless. Would you be willing to tell me how you feel right now?\" If the visitor is not willing to approach me, the responsibility of the counselor is to see and allow this, and the gradual process of getting closer is the process of establishing a relationship. Regardless of any techniques, visitors and counselors are both real people, and only through empathy can a healing relationship begin. The world and I love you.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the title-owner! Empathy and containment can be said to be important techniques in psychological counseling and also very important therapeutic factors that can make psychological counseling effective. Empathy, also known as \"entering the spirit,\" means being able to understand the feelings of the visitor and respond appropriately. This is similar to the interaction between mother and baby: the baby cannot express its needs in language, but the mother understands the baby's non-verbal cues and responds to meet its needs. Containment is the concept proposed by Winnicott or the \"holding environment\" proposed by Bion. We can imagine the image of a mother holding a baby, which represents a state of embrace and support. When a mother provides a safe environment that contains the baby's anxiety and fear, it provides a containing environment for the baby, which can facilitate the visitor's regression and allow them to be nurtured again. Psychological counseling is a process of re-nurturing, allowing the visitor to re-experience this process. This new experience of being loved, seen, and attended to will be internalized as a new part of their inner self, and will carry this new experience back into their real life, leading to change. That's it. Thank you for your question, I hope it is helpful to you. You can refer to the relevant literature of Klein and Bion.",
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        "questionID": 5993
       },
       {
        "question": "In life, there will always be unexpected events. How can we maintain a positive mindset?",
        "description": "There are always unexpected events in life that prevent us from remaining calm. What is the principle behind this and how can it be resolved?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. When I saw your question, it reminded me of the human \"fight or flight response.\" According to Baidu's definition, the fight or flight response is a series of nerve and gland reactions triggered by stress, preparing the body for defense, struggle, or escape. As you mentioned, there are always sudden events in life, so humans need to \"not remain calm\" in order to cope with these sudden situations. This is our skill and instinct, and it is helpful to us. I thought, instead of using the word \"resolve,\" can we change it to \"adjust\" to deal with the \"non-calm state\"? If it is adjusting our response to sudden events, the first thing to consider is to feel the current emotions and physical changes, such as panic or blank mind, rapid or slow breathing, or cold hands and feet. After feeling the psychological and physiological changes, if the situation is not too urgent, you can take some time to make adjustments, such as regulating your breathing to a normal level, rubbing your cold hands, and using a simple meditation to calm your emotions. If the situation is urgent and requires an immediate response, after taking a deep breath, bring yourself to a slightly calm state and start analyzing and responding to reality. The above answer may be a bit broad, but I hope it can still help you~.",
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        "questionID": 1079
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling exhausted and trapped in a never-ending cycle in life?",
        "description": "It's too difficult. I lack the ability, and I constantly feel inferior and doubt myself. My life and work are always a mess. I always feel like I can't handle challenging technical tasks because my brain feels like it's filled with lead and can't function properly. Whenever I encounter a challenge, I want to escape and give up. I always suspect that my superiors have a negative opinion of me, and I feel like they are disappointed in me. I haven't been able to create the value in the company that they expected. Lately, I've been thinking about quitting and running away because I feel like my superiors just haven't figured me out yet. My life seems to be stuck in a loop, and I can't find a way out. My mind feels weak, and it's not functioning properly at all. My work and life are a mess, and I feel powerless to change it. What should I do? Where should I go from here? What is wrong with me??",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed mood, anxious mood, guilt, shame.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! I see your confusion and want to give you a hug. I hope to bring you some warmth. OP mentioned feeling inferior and unhappy at work, afraid of being looked down upon by superiors. I also had the same confusion as OP, just entering a completely new environment and taking on a new task. Because I wasn't familiar with it, I didn't dare to try, afraid that I wouldn't do well and fearing that I would be the worst. So sometimes I would try to back out of it or choose the simpler tasks to do. But I know that this has a lot to do with my own personality, etc. I tend to be quieter and was not very active before, so I would listen to others' thoughts and follow them in many things. Until later, I became aware of this issue and decided to change myself. So no matter what task comes my way, I take it without hesitation and strive to complete it. I started challenging myself in various areas. Now I have become more confident and no longer just listen to others, because I have my own thoughts, I have learned to think, and I have my own goals and pursuits in life. When I saw OP's confusion, it reminded me of myself in the past. I also want to give OP some advice. 1. OP can try to step out of their comfort zone, try to live according to their own beliefs, find their own pursuits and goals, and have principles and beliefs in their work. This will help us become more content in life and work because we know that we are working for ourselves and not influenced by others. 2. At the same time, OP can go out more, make more friends, socialize more, and participate in more activities. We need to dare to try. We grow in the process of trying out our weaknesses. This can make us more confident and make our lives more colorful. 3. In addition, OP can establish some interests and hobbies of their own. They can start by pursuing their own interests, whether it's for relaxation or anything else. Cultivating interests and hobbies is a great choice. Finally, I hope OP can adjust their mindset, tidy themselves up, and start over. I hope OP can quickly overcome their confusion. You can do it!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the first thing I want to say is that you are not alone. Many people feel the same way when faced with challenges. It is normal to feel the urge to escape or avoid difficult situations because it is our natural instinct to protect ourselves from potential harm or failure. However, it is important to remember that avoiding challenges will only limit our growth and confidence. Instead, we can try the following steps to overcome this mindset: \n\n1. Adjust your mindset: Don't let setbacks define your abilities. Embrace the fact that everyone faces obstacles and failures in their journey. See challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. With the right mindset, you can overcome anything.\n\n2. Boost your self-confidence: Recognize your strengths and achievements. Don't compare yourself to others excessively, as it can lead to inappropriate self-evaluation. Focus on your progress and celebrate small victories along the way.\n\n3. Seek feedback: Feedback is crucial for improvement. Whether it is from experienced mentors or self-reflection, constructive feedback helps us identify areas for development and refine our skills.\n\n4. Break down goals: Divide big goals into smaller, achievable tasks. This approach not only makes the journey less overwhelming but also allows you to recognize your progress more easily. Each small achievement will contribute to your overall success.\n\nRemember, building resilience and developing skills takes time and effort. Don't be too hard on yourself during this process. Stay positive and believe in your ability to overcome challenges. Keep pushing forward, and you will grow stronger. Good luck!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner, seeing your words, I feel that you have been through a lot of unpleasant things recently, and this series of events ultimately struck you, reinforcing your original inferiority complex and magnifying it. I'm not quite sure about what you experienced in your childhood and adolescence, but there must be many similarities between your past and present self. For example, if your parents were very strict with you or paid little attention to you, it might have influenced your views on life and made you prone to giving up easily or defining yourself negatively. In the first sentence, you said it's too difficult and that you lack the ability, and then you self-doubt, saying that your life and work are always a mess. To what extent have you suffered? In your description, I only see the recent situation at work, and you haven't mentioned specific events. Most of it is you speculating about what your superiors think of you, but there is no actual mention of your superiors telling you that you are incapable as a person, or that your performance in your work is not up to par. I feel like you are stuck in a state of self-doubt. I believe you need to do some self-adjustment and build confidence in yourself. Also, read biographies and novels about people, and you will discover that everyone's life has its ups and downs, and how to overcome setbacks depends mainly on oneself. Of course, it's possible that your current life has had some influence on you, so I suggest seeking psychological counseling. Find your source of infinite motivation and step out of your predicament. I believe you can do it and see your own shining points. Everyone has a different understanding of life, and our reactions to things vary. I don't know much about what you have experienced before, and perhaps my words may not be suitable for you, but I just want to say: no matter what state of life you are in, you must believe in yourself. You may have a negative opinion about these statements, but I think success is achieved step by step, and getting out of a situation also requires planning step by step. By slowly moving forward, you can pull yourself out of the deep pit and not get entrapped further. I'm here, waiting for you! I believe in you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, you are setting limits on yourself and trapping yourself. Do you know that? Your abilities are not a problem, because your superiors are reluctant to let you go, so you must have the ability. However, constantly doubting yourself is not okay, you need psychological support. Can you hire a counselor to help you for a period of time? Rebuild your confidence, sort out the chaos in work and life, and then easily immerse yourself in work and life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11249
       },
       {
        "question": "How can a person speak without stammering due to nervousness?",
        "description": "I feel scared, nervous, and lacking in confidence when I need to showcase myself in many activities. I dare not speak on stage. As soon as I step onto the stage, my face turns red, my speech becomes stuttered, and I often forget what I wanted to say. I am afraid of making a fool of myself in front of others, and the more afraid I become, the more nervous I get and the more I stutter. Eventually, I have become too scared to speak on stage at all. I used to think that if I prepared what I wanted to say beforehand offstage, I wouldn't be nervous on stage, but it still happens. I want to change this state of turning red and stuttering whenever I am nervous. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, stress, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, hello! The best way to effectively improve your public speaking skills is to practice and speak more frequently. Start by practicing in front of no audience, then gradually progress to speaking in front of an audience, especially strangers. As for the internal methods, you need to identify the underlying reasons for your stage fright. This requires deeper analysis. Additionally, when you feel nervous, you can try deep breathing to relax. Don't panic, as it will only make you more nervous. Good luck! (Cheer up, the world and I love you) Rise up.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22159
       },
       {
        "question": "I am always very impatient with my mother's urging for marriage, and even intentionally ignore her messages.",
        "description": "I gradually turned into the kind of person I despise. I really want to get closer to my parents, have occasional video calls, and understand their current situation. But because I am an older unmarried woman, they have arranged many blind dates for me, all of which failed. Because of this, my mother told my sister to make me see a psychologist. Helpless, is not wanting to get married a mental problem? My mother also told me that I was a troublesome child since I was young. While other kids slept at night and cried during the day, I was the opposite, making it difficult for her during her confinement period. She even thought about jumping into our pond while holding me. The latter sentence was said to me during a phone call with another relative. Why did they tell me these things? It was because they were trying to introduce me to a divorced man at that time, saying that he had good conditions and asking me to seize the opportunity. At that time, I had to pretend to agree while tears streamed down my face. I have a reserved personality and am not very close to my parents. I have been working far away from home in recent years, so the distance between my parents and me has grown even bigger. Blind dates continue as usual, exchanging WeChat, chatting, and then nothing happens. I really don't know how to find topics to talk about. Whenever my mother sends me a message alone, I know she is going to introduce someone again. Sometimes I deliberately don't reply to the message. Every time a blind date is unsuccessful, I feel like it's my fault. Maybe there is something wrong with me, but other people also have times when they don't like me. My heart feels so tired...",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, blind date.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's discuss while sorting it out: Your demand: to find a suitable partner for marriage. #But sometimes others may not be interested in me. #Your parents' demand: for you to find a man and get married. Getting married is a task for them, it must be completed, and the quality of completion is not their concern. Both your demand and your mother's demand are not wrong. The conflict now is that if you don't complete the \"marriage\" action, she will pressure you. Every time a blind date is unsuccessful, she blames you for all the problems, essentially wanting to undermine your confidence and make you compromise, so that she can complete the task as soon as possible. As for your needs and feelings, she may not have the time to consider them now. Your real needs are not being valued, and you constantly have to cooperate with them to complete the task of marriage, which is exhausting for anyone. This is why you don't want to reply to messages. But if we turn it around, you do want to get married, but do you have any channels to meet potential partners? Can you only solve your needs through blind dates? Because #you have a quiet personality #and are not close to your parents, you may also not know how to communicate with the opposite sex. Your needs and your parents' needs are aligned, but your requirements for a partner are different. So as long as you find a partner you approve of, all the current problems can be solved, right? Suggestions: 1. You can try to learn how to communicate and interact with other people. 2. Expand your channels for meeting the opposite sex, such as through online matchmaking websites or offline matchmaking events. Communication aspects can provide you with some methods. If you need help, you can leave a message or chat.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3350
       },
       {
        "question": "First-year girl does not live in school, mom is sick and being treated in another city, feeling anxious and sad, doesn't want to go to school?",
        "description": "A female student in her first year of middle school initially prepared to stay in the school dormitory, but later had an argument with her parents and didn't end up staying. Her mother became ill and needed to undergo surgery in another province, which would take at least two weeks. She left for the other province on the morning of the second day of school. Since then, she has been troubling her relatives to shuttle her (as a side note), feeling absent-minded during class and overwhelmed with a blocked heart, wanting to cry. It may be because of entering a new environment, feeling that she is under a lot of pressure and having trouble adjusting. It is completely different from elementary school and there are no classmates to play with. In addition, it should be because her mother is not at home, which makes her feel insecure and very uncomfortable, extremely anxious and wanting to cry, especially when she thinks about her mother not being able to come back for a long time, she feels anxious and sad. It really is a constant feeling of anxiety, and she even has the thought of not wanting to go to school anymore!",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxiety emotions, panic helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Hugs to you! You are currently feeling anxious and under a lot of pressure. The reasons are: being in a new environment and missing your mother's company. It is normal to feel a bit uncomfortable when starting a new year in high school. Plus, at each stage, there will be new friends, so there's no need to dwell on the old ones. If they are true friends, they won't drift away. How can you quickly make new friends? You can proactively start conversations with your classmates about recent TV shows or anime. Having common interests makes it easier to connect with others. I don't know why you're not staying at the dormitory. You can try staying there; that way, you won't overthink and can spend more time with your classmates. Actively participate in class collective activities, contribute to classroom reports, and join sports events, etc. Relying too much on your parents is a common problem among many middle school students. For you, parents are like a safe haven where you are taken care of. You trust your family, and you can be yourself without having to put too much social pressure on yourself. However, when you enter a new environment, you may worry about not making friends, etc. But we all have to leave our parents and face things on our own. However, it's not necessary to please others just to make friends. The main purpose of going to school is to study. Even if you don't have many friends, there's no need to feel sad.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           },
           {
            "start": 10,
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           },
           {
            "start": 35,
            "end": 96,
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           },
           {
            "start": 96,
            "end": 108,
            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 108,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 145,
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           },
           {
            "start": 156,
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           },
           {
            "start": 208,
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           },
           {
            "start": 321,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10852
       },
       {
        "question": "An 18-year-old girl has been unwilling to go out and meet other people for the past six months. How can she improve?",
        "description": "In the past half year, I have been on leave at home due to physical and mental reasons. However, I have gradually become unwilling to go out, unwilling to have visitors at home (strangers). I feel very uncomfortable having strangers in my house, and I even hide in my room and spend time online. I also seldom chat with friends, and sometimes I feel anxious and uncomfortable when communicating with strangers on social media. Moreover, I often feel a bit inferior in general. I want to know what is the specific psychological issue and how can I improve it? (I also have symptoms of binge-eating and self-induced vomiting.)",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing words as if we were facing each other, I hope these words can bring you even a little bit of warmth. When the problem has already affected your daily life, you must go see a doctor! You must go see a doctor! You must go see a doctor! Others can comfort you and help analyze your problems, but they cannot determine where you are uncomfortable, what illness you have, or what treatment you need through just a few words. So you must go see a doctor. I can only share my opinion based on these few words. Due to the impact of the epidemic, many people, including myself, haven't left their homes for almost half a year. When school resumed at the end of July, I found myself filled with fear and disgust at returning to school; after arriving at school, my previously familiar classmates became strangers. Now I feel anxious when I see other people, sometimes experiencing chest tightness and a desire to lock myself up and not see anyone. I am generally introverted, and with such a long time without human contact, my social skills have slowly diminished, which might be similar to your situation. But you seem to have it worse than I do. I noticed that you mentioned symptoms of binge eating and bulimia, and I am unsure if this is due to the \"mental problem\" you first mentioned or a result of not wanting to see people. However, this is a serious issue, and no matter what, you should never harm your body. I think you may have some social anxiety disorder, which requires professional medical diagnosis and treatment, so don't take it lightly. To improve this, you can start by chatting online, but don't chat for too long, and stop before you feel uncomfortable. Take gradual steps to improve and don't rush. Also, listen to medical advice and actively seek treatment. Furthermore, based on your mention of low self-esteem and binge eating, I would venture to guess that you feel insecure about your body? If that's the case, you must choose exercise and a balanced diet to maintain your body instead of harming yourself. Health is a lifelong matter. I wish you happiness soon and the confidence to show your unique qualities.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After carefully reading your question, I feel sorry for you and I hope my answer can help you. From your question, I understand that you are unwilling to go out, unwilling to interact with others, and even unwilling to chat with people through messaging apps. However, don't be too anxious. You can try some methods. First, try to find out the reasons why you don't want to go out or meet people. Once you find the reasons, you can find targeted solutions and improvement methods. Second, try to make adjustments in your daily life. Try to deliberately communicate more with good friends or engage in more conversations. If you have something on your mind, don't keep it to yourself. Try talking to someone you trust. Third, try to participate in collective activities that you are interested in or good at. Such activities usually involve communication with others. When you are enjoying yourself, you may unconsciously start to communicate with others and gradually develop the habit. Fourth, if your mental state is severely impacting your life and none of the methods you've tried work, I suggest seeking help from a psychologist. They are professionals who can provide you with professional methods. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. Take care! You are loved by me and the world.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13754
       },
       {
        "question": "\"I suddenly improved a lot in my academic performance, but I always fear that others will surpass me.\"",
        "description": "Lately, I've been feeling very anxious. I usually don't have these kinds of thoughts, but recently my grades have suddenly improved a lot. However, I'm afraid that others will surpass me. Every time I see someone else's homework completely correct, I feel upset. I'm scared of being surpassed by others. And during class when I take notes, I feel uneasy. I'm afraid of others noticing my efforts and then surpassing me. And then surpassing me.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation, emotional intelligence.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, author! Considering your question, I have come up with the following response: 1. Actually, this is quite normal. In psychology, it is called excessive worry. You don't need to put so much pressure on yourself because everyone has one or more bad exams at some point. Don't dwell on this exam. When others surpass you, you should think of it as normal because there are no perfect people in the world. 2. If you still feel excessively worried, you can communicate with your parents in a timely manner or talk to your teacher. Explain your worries to the teacher and seek clarification. You can also seek help from a specialized mental health counselor to answer your questions. 3. If you constantly feel behind, you can study more, utilize your spare time to learn more, read more books, and enhance your learning ability as well as broaden your knowledge scope.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ From your question description, it seems like you might have a little bit of self-doubt. You seem to care too much about what others think of you, living in other people's world. You can be more confident and discover your strengths. You'll find out, \"I'm really great!\" Accept yourself and appreciate your beauty. Take a look at yourself, like your improved ranking in exams or how well you've mastered certain knowledge points. Dig out your advantages, praise yourself, and put yourself in \"my world.\" Don't deliberately compare yourself with others, compare yourself with your past self instead. Understand your progress and shortcomings, accept your progress, and slowly correct your shortcomings. Keep challenging and improving yourself, that's the best progress. Learn to be proactive rather than defensive. In your question description, you mentioned \"scared of others surpassing you.\" You can change your mindset and think about how much you can improve in the next exam and how you can break through certain barriers, rather than just defending your current position. Learn to be proactive instead of defensive. Only when we're constantly in an attacking state, we won't slack off and we'll get closer to our goals. Relax and be open to sharing. There's no need to worry about others seeing your efforts. Everyone has their own pace, study plan, and goals. In this high-pressure environment, nobody has time to observe each other closely. So, just relax, don't put too much pressure on yourself, and don't feel like others are scrutinizing your every move. Don't burden yourself too much. Relax, focus on yourself, and don't let other things distract your attention. Living in your own world is more exciting. Learn to share and study with classmates, integrate into the big collective of the class, and build pure friendships. Keep going and best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5964
       },
       {
        "question": "Reason and emotion seem to be detached, severe depression, can I win?",
        "description": "At the age of three, my father passed away, leaving me without a father's love for a long time. After finding my current husband, I saw him as my sole emotional support. However, this terrible marriage worsened my unhappiness... Multiple instances of infidelity shattered my psychological defenses, and the pain of divorce far outweighed the pain of forgiving him. In a state of collapse, I ultimately chose to forgive him to escape greater suffering... However, the stress response after the betrayal made me increasingly sensitive. His every action became my entire daily life. If he treated me well, I would be happy; if he showed even the slightest impatience, I would become restless and listless. Finally, recently, I realized that I was trapped in a deep sadness, avoiding social interactions, feeling sluggish, losing a significant amount of weight, and no longer interested in anything around me. I realized that I might be sick. After consulting a psychologist and receiving a diagnosis of severe depression at the hospital... The doctor's explanation finally made me understand a series of abnormalities that I couldn't comprehend before. But it also became clear that my situation is not doing well. I want to actively change this pessimistic situation, but it seems like my rationality and emotions have become separated. I can't control my emotions on my own. My rationality tells me to stay strong and be happy, but the physical pain in my heart and the overwhelming sadness for no apparent reason make it difficult for me to resist... Each episode lasts about two hours, and my family cannot understand...",
        "keywords": "Treatment, somatic response, disease diagnosis, treatment methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I feel sorry for your current state. In my personal opinion, it is important not to let oneself down when striving wholeheartedly. However, you have diverted all your attention away from yourself and bestowed it upon someone who cannot meet your expectations, relying on their inconsistent emotions to receive meager nourishment in return. In such a structure, the weaker party is easily isolated by the stronger party, and it is destined that no one will ultimately benefit. Reason and emotion, they have always coexisted and contradicted each other. Under normal circumstances, they each have their place and their duties, and there is no conflict. It is only when conflicts arise that we become aware of the struggle and quarrel between reason and emotion. In this situation, either side winning can solve the current dilemma and problem. But when it is difficult to determine the superiority of either, you experience the state where no one can control anyone, as you feel. In the book \"Elephant and the Mahout,\" the author metaphorically compares emotion to an elephant and reason to the mahout riding the elephant. He says: human rationality actually depends heavily on complex emotions, and only when a brain full of emotions operates smoothly can reason function. Your limitation lies in the fact that the mahout has not yet managed to successfully tame the elephant and instead, the elephant has disrupted the whole rhythm. To re-tame the elephant is extremely difficult, so the author also provides some methods: the only way to win is to leave the gambling table; the only way not to care about the ups and downs of life is to meditate. When you give up the joy that winning brings, you also lose the pain that losing brings. Our spirit is like a bird's precious feathers. The bird doesn't ask other birds to comb them and it will never strip itself bare for any reason. Love yourself like a bird cherishes its feathers, and only when you encounter someone who understands and empathizes will you begin to give. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Friend, hello. Reading your message, I feel a strong sense of sadness and pain, which also makes me admire your courage and strength in seeking help. Even in such a situation, you still thought of leaving a message here for help. I think this is a rare and valuable courage and strength, which shows me how strong the resilience and upward motivation of life can be. Thank you for the inspiration you have given me. Also, from the words between the lines, I feel that your choice of words and sentence structure are precise, vivid, and profound, which shows me that you have a cultured side. Thank you for allowing me to see that. At the same time, I also have a curiosity. How do you manage to describe and seek help from others with relatively accurate and profound language, even when you are in pain and discomfort? Going to a relatively professional platform like this or seeking treatment in a hospital, and so on? How do you perceive your awareness and ability to seek help? How do you cope with the current predicament? I provide some questions for you to consider. 1. If you were to give a name to the predicament you currently face, what would you call it? (Let's assume you call it \"Trouble Spirit,\" because I don't know what you would call it, so I'll assume that.) 2. How long has this \"Trouble Spirit\" been with you? What influence has it had on you? What is the duration, depth, and breadth of the impact? Please think carefully about these questions. 3. What influence does this \"Trouble Spirit\" have on your relationship with your husband and other family members? What is the duration, depth, and breadth of the impact? Please think carefully about these questions. 4. When did this \"Trouble Spirit\" have a lesser impact on you? What happened at that time? What did you do to bring about a lessened outcome of the impact? What else can you do to reduce the impact of the \"Trouble Spirit\" on you? 5. When did this \"Trouble Spirit\" have a lesser impact on your relationship with your husband and other family members? What happened at that time? What did you do to bring about an improvement in the relationship and thus reduce the harassment from the \"Trouble Spirit\"? What else can you do to reduce the impact of the \"Trouble Spirit\" on your interpersonal relationships? 6. If you have done what was mentioned in points 4 and 5, did the \"Trouble Spirit\" become stronger or did you become stronger? Did your sense of control over the \"Trouble Spirit\" increase or decrease? Did the harassment from the \"Trouble Spirit\" in your interpersonal relationships increase or decrease? 7. What else can you do to minimize the impact and harassment from the \"Trouble Spirit\"? Well, this is the method I have shared. Please be sure to take out pen and paper to carefully think and write it down. And most importantly, take action to fight against the \"Trouble Spirit,\" because only action is the most powerful. Please give it a try. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have experienced severe depression, so I can understand your pain. You don't want to face the reality that your husband doesn't love you anymore, so you think as long as you don't get divorced, he will come back to you, which is just a fantasy. Or maybe you don't want to face the pain of separation or the feeling of being unwanted and betrayed. You also mentioned that your family doesn't understand you, and I have experienced that too. They think depression is not a big deal, maybe they think you're exaggerating or that you're just idle at home all day. I think you may have security issues, but of course, this is just my personal opinion. When depression strikes, do what you want to do. It's okay to cry and let out the pain for a while, but I still suggest that you don't focus on your husband. It's your life, you should be in control and do what you want. You can do anything. Letting go is indeed difficult. Some say it's easy to do, but hard in practice. Reason tells you to leave him, but emotionally you still have fond memories of him, even though he doesn't love me anymore. I think you will find someone better in the future. Losing someone doesn't always have to be a bad thing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Family and friends may not have professional knowledge about mental health, and it's normal for them to not understand. Seek help from a mental health counselor. When you start to live a normal life, your family will surely appreciate it and benefit from your recovery. Since the doctor has diagnosed it as severe depression, you can take medication and receive psychological counseling at the same time, which will help you endure less pain.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Why not seek help from a mental health professional? Shouldn't you quickly solve the problem if you are suffering so much? I believe that solving problems first requires accepting the issues that appear in oneself, and then letting the doctor help find suitable solutions and cooperate with treatment. Depression is something many people have encountered, and many have recovered. I don't know much about marriage; I have never been married. But if I were to encounter a partner who repeatedly cheats, I definitely would not forgive them. If they no longer love me, why should we stay together? I don't know your specific situation, so you should seriously think about your health and happiness. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14896
       },
       {
        "question": "A junior college student cannot control herself and keeps seeking out her ex-boyfriend, what should she do?",
        "description": "I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We broke up numerous times due to the pandemic, with the reason being that he found being together too difficult. He said he still had feelings, but didn't want to be in a relationship. I really like him and have been struggling to accept this reality. We had so many wonderful moments together which make it hard to let go. I have my own things to do in daily life, but I still feel incredibly helpless when alone. I don't know who to reach out to when I open my phone. After a busy day, I really miss and want to see him... There have been a few occasions when I couldn't resist and went to find him, but he was caring yet distant in his tone. He can't explain anything about our emotions. Continuing this relationship is difficult for me, and I'm aware of it. I want a chance to salvage it, but I truly don't want to constantly think of him and reach out to him. I want to ask everyone, how can I control myself and stop thinking about him and reaching out to him?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! I can sense that you are a very emotional girl. How do you control yourself from thinking about him? 1: Engage in various activities to divert your attention. Building an intimate relationship often requires a lot of effort from both sides. Therefore, when this kind of relationship breaks, the harm it brings to the individual should not be underestimated, and it is very normal to be immersed in thoughts. In order to reduce the frequency of immersing yourself in this painful emotion, try to regulate your emotions and allocate time reasonably. For example, call your good friends out to go shopping, watch movies, sing, or travel together. When you are with friends, it is difficult to have a break in communication, so there will be no chance to immerse in sadness. When a person engages in actual communication with friends, the brain will involuntarily consider the other person's issues. Therefore, you will set two goals in your mind: answering questions and repeating thoughts. So, instead of being deeply immersed in memories, it is better to divert your attention and regulate your emotions. 2. Look at the problem rationally and objectively, and free yourself from fantasies. Generally speaking, the reason why a person cannot forget memories is that they do not want to forget and instead numb themselves, telling themselves: the separation between the two is only temporary. Both sides can rebuild intimacy, so constantly numbing yourself. Look at the facts that have already happened rationally and objectively, accept the breakup with your boyfriend, and break free from this pain. Everyone needs to live for reality. When an intimate relationship breaks, instead of endless self-blame, it is better to face the problem directly and start a new life. After all, the one who accompanies you for the longest time is always yourself, and friendship and love are just condiments in life. You are the most important. 3. Improve yourself and find the next spiritual support. In psychology, this stage is considered one of the most suitable for self-improvement. If you are unable to extricate yourself from emotional immersion, you can shift your focus and find the next spiritual support, such as setting a new goal, getting a certification, losing weight, learning a new skill, or rebuilding your interests and hobbies. Usually, at this time, people's attention will be completely shifted to this new goal. It will not only double your efficiency but also help you quickly free yourself from the pain and memories of heartbreak. In summary, to completely erase emotions, you must maintain your rationality, not find excuses for yourself or others, and not fabricate false illusions. If your emotions are always sad, then go explore things you were once interested in, use excitement to balance sadness, and thus stabilize your emotions. Ultimately, shift your thoughts to things you love. Time is the best medicine. Who can predict how many beautiful people and things the future holds? Thank you, OP, for reading and sharing. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How is it possible to immediately let go when there is still an emotional foundation but you have to break up? Hugs to the dear OP~ Let's first summarize the OP's information together: The OP mentioned that they have been together with their boyfriend for about two years. Due to the pandemic, they had many arguments and broke up because the boyfriend felt that being together was difficult. He means that there are still feelings, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship. I really like him and have always found it hard to accept this fact. When two people are together, there have been so many beautiful moments, so how can we just let go? The OP mentioned that during the pandemic, they had many arguments with their boyfriend. What kind of difficulty does the boyfriend mean by \"being together is difficult\"? Is it the difficulty of being in a long-distance relationship and not being able to meet, or is it the instability of your relationship that makes him feel difficult, or something else? How does the OP view the boyfriend's idea of \"difficult\"? Does the boyfriend have any other pressures in terms of work or life? The OP mentioned that they have their own things to do during normal times, but they always feel very helpless when alone and they don't know who to talk to when they open their phone. After being busy every day, they really want to see and find him... There have been a few times when I can't help but go to find him, and he does care about me, but his tone is quite cold. When I asked him about our relationship, he couldn't explain it clearly. I have gotten used to the daily greetings and company, and suddenly being broken up, there will definitely be a lot of discomfort and sadness, hugs to the OP~ The OP mentioned here that the boyfriend still cares about them, but the tone is very cold. From this, it seems that the boyfriend is actually quite contradictory, having feelings for you but also feeling exhausted. The OP mentioned that when asked about the relationship, the boyfriend couldn't explain it clearly. What does this specifically refer to? The OP mentioned that it is difficult for them to continue this relationship, and they know it, they also want a chance to save it, but they really don't want to frequently think of him. I want to ask everyone how I can control myself and not think of him or find him. Actually, the question the OP is asking, the OP knows it is very difficult for themselves because this is someone they truly love, how is it possible to just forget about them, right? Based on the current period of the OP's breakup, why not give yourself and the other person some time and space to adjust your own state, then calm down and think about your relationship issues. I know the OP might feel it's very difficult, unable to do it, unable to control themselves. But I want to tell the OP, you must restrain yourself because only in this way maybe there will be a new turning point for your relationship. The world and I love you, best wishes to the OP, Jingjingting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner! I can tell that you love him very much and care a lot about this relationship. You mentioned that the man feels it is difficult to be together, so did he mention the specific reasons? You mentioned in the text that you had many arguments during the pandemic and then broke up. So, think about what situations or things could cause you to argue? If you were to reconcile, could these issues be resolved? You said you don't want to think about him, but actually want to move on from the habit of having him around, right? Letting go of a relationship or forgetting someone takes time to fade. When I was dumped in the past, I would constantly think about her, so I understand how you feel now. So, how can we get out of this whirlpool? You can try a few methods: 1. Find something to do that you are interested in. 2. Find a job (if you have already graduated) or do part-time work, volunteering is also an option. 3. Avoid revisiting places related to him as much as possible. 4. Be determined to delete everything related to him (depending on your own willingness).\u00a0Hopefully, my answer can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17503
       },
       {
        "question": "Because of being too thin, I am becoming increasingly irritable and on the verge of a breakdown. What should I do?",
        "description": "155, 76 pounds. Actually, many people have this weight, and I don't feel particularly thin. I eat a lot at school, but my weight still doesn't go up. When I come home from school, my family is overly concerned about my weight, and the neighbors' mockery about my figure makes me feel very frustrated. Just seeing my mom showing concern for me makes me want to beat her up. I guess it's because I feel depressed that I'm getting thinner and thinner.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you a big, big hug! Hello, OP. Some points of confusion in your description: - The ridicule from your neighbor is making you feel devastated. - Your relationship with your mother is making you irritable. From this, it can be seen that you are currently experiencing conflicting emotions. The ridicule from your neighbor can be devastating, while your mother's concern makes you irritable. When others focus on your physical appearance, you will become caught up in a dilemma: what is the \"normal\" weight? [Shifting your mindset] Your body shape does not have to satisfy others; your health is the most important thing. When it comes to your concern about your appearance, you can think about the underlying issues. Why are you so concerned about your physical appearance? Are you using others' concern about your body shape to resist or redirect attention from other problems? Occasionally, change your mindset regarding others' concern. Why do they care about us so much? It's because they can't bear to see us make mistakes. The only difference is their way of expressing it, which leads us to feel differently. Learn to communicate with each person using different methods and express your thoughts. This will greatly solve the issue. I wish you all the best! The above is just my personal opinion. If you need further assistance, please feel free to message me. For more professional help, please seek out a professional counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18226
       },
       {
        "question": "Unable to adapt to college life, excessive introversion brings a lot of distress and discomfort.",
        "description": "Feeling like others have many good friends, while I am always isolated, and always feel very suffocated in my heart, always wanting to cry.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Hugs to you. It is evident that you are feeling helpless right now because you feel lonely. Friends indeed play a significant role in our lives, always accompanying us and giving us strength. In our lifetime, we can meet many people, but only a few can truly be our sincere friends. We only become good friends with someone when we find someone we can easily connect with, someone we share similarities with or share the same values. Interactions between friends are always the most comfortable, where two people can eat, drink, and laugh without any worries. Being together can bring much happiness. OP, you may not have met this person yet, so you have to wait. Whenever we find ourselves in a new environment, it does require an adjustment phase, and once we overcome this phase, our lives will become better. Actually, university life is not as complicated as we imagine because everyone is in the same boat, having not yet entered society. You can try to overcome this aspect of yourself, starting with greeting others in your daily life. It is indeed not easy to suddenly change your personality that you have had for a long time. Keep going, and I believe you can do it. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5227
       },
       {
        "question": "A single woman has moved out of her family home for four years, how should she deal with controlling parents?",
        "description": "Only daughter in the family, already 29 years old, parents have been arguing since childhood, and have a strong preference for sons over daughters. Because they only have me as a daughter, they have never felt secure and have always had a strong desire to control. It feels like there are two pairs of eyes watching me at home, constantly nitpicking. They have never been satisfied with anything I do. I also give them money for living expenses, and I give them 50,000 yuan a year, including the year-end bonus. But they don't care because they are into stock trading. No matter how valuable the gifts I give them are, they always just throw them aside and don't use or look at them. I invited them to go to Thailand, but they said Thailand is a third world country. When will I take them to the United States? They make me really tired of marriage, and I feel depressed when I'm around them. Later, it was confirmed by the hospital that I have depression. In the end, I found that living alone is great. I graduated from graduate school and have been renting my own place for 4 years. But my parents always think there's something wrong with me for not getting married. When we try to communicate, they don't listen to my thoughts at all, and they think my ideas are useless crap. So, I started to ignore them and we don't contact each other anymore. I take anti-depressant medication while feeling guilty that I haven't done enough to satisfy them. It's really agonizing. They know that I have depression, but they think it's because I'm useless and it has nothing to do with them.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"How to deal with controlling parents\" actually does not require methods or strategies, only a decision. Your delay in making a decision may be because you haven't realized that you are still a pleasing child in front of them, full of expectations and dependency, including \"being diagnosed with depression in the hospital\". You seem to subconsciously hope or feel that your parents should be responsible for this. The care and attention you desire is probably something you can't get no matter how much you please them, if it were possible, you would have gotten it long ago. One day, when you are no longer that child, perhaps they will look at you with new eyes. It is not your fault to be born a girl, it is the arrangement of fate, and you can confidently face it. Whoever cannot accept reality will suffer.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know how to advise you, because my current situation is even worse than yours. Your parents strictly control you, but my conversations on WeChat and with friends are constantly monitored by my mom. She makes me repeat everything word for word and then criticizes me for how I should say it, and I can't escape from it now. I am not trying to make you feel better with my own sorrow, but parents and children are two equal individuals in my opinion. I have always believed that parents only have more life experience than children, and this experience does not refer to what you eat or drink, but to foresight. Moreover, this foresight only provides advice in a broad direction. So if your parents intervene in trivial matters or in matters of emotions, it is advice that has nothing to do with age. But if it's about marriage or major ethical issues, it can be taken into consideration, why only consider it? Because times have changed. This way, you can know which nagging can be ignored and which are their freedom of expression.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19842
       },
       {
        "question": "Just broke up and not accustomed to being single, even feel that the other person is pretty good?",
        "description": "I met a boy online in April this year. He is sensitive and kind, and we have similar interests. He quickly expressed his liking for me, and over time, his thoughtfulness made me start liking him too. I even thought that we might not meet someone so compatible again and even considered the possibility of marriage. So, after three months of knowing each other, I also expressed my liking for him. We just started dating these few days. When we were not together, I would daydream about being together, but now that we are, I feel calm. He seems to like me too much, constantly asking if I love him and wanting me to say it out loud. If I don't reply to his messages, he would call me. I feel passive in this relationship. I am someone who expresses emotions openly, but I don't like how fast this relationship is progressing. Another factor might be that there was someone in high school who really liked me. He doesn't contact me much, so I thought he didn't like me. But whenever we meet, he is kind to me. However, when I liked him, he didn't like me, and when he liked me, I didn't like him. It went back and forth twice. He said that if I didn't have someone I liked by the end of this year, we should try being together. Yesterday I told him I am no longer single, and he asked me to enjoy it and not overthink. He sounded happy. I'm afraid that the person I am with now won't understand me as well as he does.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "According to the description given by the topic poster, it seems that the guy you met online is more sincere and values you more. Although he may be a bit dependent and clingy, and not very mature, constantly asking if you love him and calling if you don't reply to his messages, it indirectly shows that he cares about you a lot and is willing to have a responsible relationship with you. Moreover, he has a similar personality and common interests, and if your values also match, it may get better with patience and compatibility. Your relationship is relatively equal, and in such a dynamic, the girl is more likely to be happy. On the other hand, the other guy is not in a hurry to confirm the relationship with you, and even mentioned that he would only try with you if there is no one else he likes, which appears to be a bit like keeping a backup option. People who like each other should instinctively hold on firmly, rather than having this kind of laissez-faire attitude. When you told him that you are no longer single, he didn't seem anxious but instead asked you to experience it and his tone was cheerful and relaxed. Either he is pretending and actually feeling hurt inside, or he is an expert at flirting with girls who are below his level. In summary, based on the overall situation, you are more likely to be happy with the first guy, while there's a possibility of getting hurt with the latter. Trust your inner feelings, if you feel that you may not be able to handle this guy and the gap between you is significant, it is usually not suitable, as it can easily lead to being controlled by the other person. It is easier for you to be happy with someone who is similar to you and you can be 100% sure of their feelings for you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, just being together with this guy, he highly values your worth and makes many small gestures to demand that you also acknowledge him. However, his needs have reached the point of impatience, which has caused you to feel repulsed. This underlying phenomenon indicates that your values are not equal. People instinctively reject those who do not match up in various aspects. At this time, a high school classmate who is indifferent to you appears. He is not very concerned about your worth; to him, you are optional. Otherwise, why haven't you been together already? Is there a chance for someone else to take advantage of the situation? This situation shows that his value is higher than yours, and people are instinctively attracted to those with higher value.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It sounds like you feel more at ease and more comfortable with this person from high school who you have known for a long time, compared to the boyfriend you met online. In your title, however, you mention that you are just out of a relationship and not used to being alone. Which aspect do you find more troubling?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16429
       },
       {
        "question": "A 45-year-old woman doesn't want to continue doing her current job because it is too exhausting. How can she break free from this predicament?",
        "description": "I am 45 years old and feel very tired from work. I want to change jobs, but I don't have a high level of education or specific skills. I also don't know which direction to develop in, which is causing a lot of inner turmoil.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, midlife crisis, work fatigue.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, give yourself a hug. I believe that you wouldn't be seeking advice here if you weren't feeling tired and miserable. 1. I'm not sure about your current job. How long have you been doing it? Do you have permanent status? How is the salary and benefits? Can your own experience in the current job be of any help to you and become an asset? Have you seen any progress or growth in your current job? What are the prospects for development? Many times, we want to be impulsive and follow our emotions, but afterwards we may regret and blame ourselves. 2. You said that you don't have a high education and skills, which at least shows that you have a clear understanding and orientation of yourself. So, have you considered finding ways to make yourself less tired in your current job? For example, do you have to do everything yourself? Or have you accepted many tasks that don't belong to you? Have you done anything to relieve your exhaustion? Like complaining? Or communicating and giving feedback to your supervisor? 3. In terms of salary that can support yourself, what do you enjoy doing? What are you good at? Are there any hobbies or interests that you can develop? Can you find a job with good salary and benefits? Can you handle it? 4. People feel exhausted and miserable because the salary and benefits are not aligned with their interests and hobbies. The rational \"me\" and emotional \"me\" are conflicting, and if they cannot reconcile, you will continue to struggle with this pain. You need to answer the above questions clearly for yourself, and that's the advice I can give. In short, try to find a job that can support yourself, that you enjoy and have interest in, and that offers flexibility in schedule. If not, find ways to balance these aspects in your current job. For example, can you delegate some tasks and not focus only on earning more money?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, one of my current job responsibilities is headhunting, and I would like to analyze this issue based on the current workplace ecosystem. The midlife crisis in the workplace usually starts at the age of 35 because many job positions have an upper age limit of 35. This is not to say that companies discriminate against anyone, but rather it is the reality of the workplace ecosystem. If you are over 35, unless you have a great accumulation (accumulation of skills, expertise, platform, and connections), and can reach a high-level position or hold an irreplaceable position in another company, your career will basically reach a plateau and slowly decline. After a certain period of decline, you will have to seek a new path, which is why middle-aged people are more likely to start their own businesses because they can't find a job with developmental and sustainable opportunities. Now, let's address your current issue, which is also something I am currently facing. The career development of middle-aged people, especially women, is difficult. You are now in your 40s, have no particularly outstanding skills, and are unsure of where to go next. I have the following suggestions that may help you: 1. If you can't find a better direction at the moment, focus on doing your current job well and complete the tasks at hand. 2. Reflect on your inner self, hobbies, resources, skills, and psychological tendencies to create a clear career plan. If you don't have the courage to break free from your current environment right away, you can start by developing a side business. It's both an exploration and a transition time for yourself. (For details on developing a side business and career planning, you can private message me. I participated in a side business training camp and had great results. I can recommend it to you). 3. Determine your track. Everything we do is like a race, running on different tracks. You must be certain that you are on the right track to save yourself time. For example, you might be a headline creator and frequently compare your earnings with others, which can cause a lot of anxiety. But is this the main path you want to pursue in the future? You must be clear about this; otherwise, you will fall into meaningless and involuntary comparisons and anxieties, wasting your time. I sincerely hope that this advice can be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12838
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel so miserable inside. I've been crying all day. Why is life so difficult?",
        "description": "I have experienced so much today that I can't do anything anymore. I feel exhausted, living is too tiring. I want someone to see my pain, to take care of me, to hug me. I want everyone to tell me, \"Fool, don't be afraid, I am here.\" Why is life so hard?",
        "keywords": "Emotion, depressive emotion, anxious emotion, panic helplessness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give yourself a good hug first. Maybe everyone will encounter such moments when they feel sad and find it hard to live. Hug you again. But by coming here to express yourself, you have already opened a window for yourself, and there will always be light shining into your heart. There are people who will listen to you seriously and accept you completely. This is a safe haven. When you are sad, don't make any major decisions. If you are able to recognize your emotions, slowly let yourself be with these emotions for a while. Just like the movie \"Inside Out\" tells us, various emotions - joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness - are all normal, that's life. But when you peacefully stay with your emotions for a while, you will understand that emotions come and go, just let nature take its course. Of course, if the feeling of sadness lasts for a long time, you should actively find ways to adjust, such as seeking support, exercising, getting enough rest, and so on. I wish you to firmly believe that there are people who love you unconditionally and support you even when you are sad! You are already wonderful and worthy of love! Hug you again!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We all have a difficult life, regardless of age. After primary school, we lose our childhood. There are entrance exams in middle school, the college entrance examination in high school, job hunting in college, and wages at work. Various problems bother different people. Some cry at night, some are lost during the day, and some are constantly anxious. I am a middle school student, not good at studying, lacking interest in learning, but I desire to be admitted to a top high school more than anyone else. My target score is a hundred points lower than mine. There are only two days left until the third year of middle school, let's survive together. It seems that the only way out is to endure the hardships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11852
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do some people think nothing of anything, while I am always tormented by inner demons?",
        "description": "Why is it that some people can do bad things and still have a good mindset, while I feel such a heavy sense of guilt? Even when it's others who treat me poorly and I argue back, I still feel guilty and distressed. It seems like I'm always mentally tormented, with a particularly strong sense of guilt. Why is it that some people can say hurtful things and still feel at ease, continuing to be happy and carefree? Throughout one's life, it's impossible to always meet kind and good-hearted people; many people are unkind and use harsh words. Why is it that I can't adjust myself and am so greatly influenced by others? Is there a solution to this problem? Could it be that in my past life, I did something wrong and now I have to suffer psychologically in this life? This has been the case for me since childhood, and it's not related to any hidden childhood experiences; it's solely due to my own personality.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's great to \"meet\" you! Reading your words, I can understand the distress you're experiencing due to the influence of your personality. First, let me give you a big hug. Now, let's analyze your situation together, identify the issues, and try to find ways to solve them. Firstly, you have two main problems. The first is a heavy sense of guilt, and the second is being overly concerned about others. Let's talk about the guilt first. What is guilt? It is a subjective feeling when a person does something that goes against their own conscience and subsequently feels regret or a sense of wrongdoing. Simply put, guilt arises when we go against our own beliefs. Everyone has their own inherent sense of right and wrong. When our actions violate this inherent understanding, we feel guilt. Guilt is also a mechanism of self-restraint. You may wonder why some people can do bad things and not care, while others feel tortured by guilt even when they haven't done anything wrong. This issue is related to the depth of a person's conscience. Some individuals have a shallow conscience and low moral requirements, so they find it difficult to feel guilt. On the other hand, those with a deeper conscience tend to feel guilt more easily. That's why some people feel uneasy after doing the same thing, while others can be at peace with themselves. Now, let's discuss being overly concerned about others. What is the direct result of being overly concerned about others? It means neglecting our own feelings. But did you know, everyone has a sense of self? When this sense of self is not valued, it rebels, leading to feelings of repression and lack of freedom. In other words, repressing emotions for a long time can eventually lead to emotional distress. Everyone needs self-identity, self-awareness, and self-acceptance. Therefore, instead of always considering others' feelings first, we should reflect on our own feelings. Is this good for us? From these two issues, we can see some aspects of your personality. You seem to be a very kind person, with high moral standards and sensitivity. You tend to suppress your emotions, care about others' feelings, and worry about how others perceive you. Many of these aspects are psychological issues, so it's important to seek psychological guidance. Firstly, nobody is perfect, so try to relax and not demand perfection in everything. It might be helpful to view things that don't go as planned with a more open mind and tell yourself that it's not a big deal, there's no need to dwell on it. Secondly, shift your focus to doing things you enjoy. It will bring you joy and help you forget your worries. Thirdly, read more books to enrich your spiritual world and enhance self-awareness. Lastly, if the issues are severe, seeking guidance from a psychologist can be beneficial. Remember, it's not an illness, so don't be nervous. It's just like chatting with a professional who can help you understand yourself better and solve problems. I wish you well and hope you can overcome your distress soon!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, a clear heart and a knowing word. Based on your description, you may belong to the group of \"highly sensitive individuals\". You are more prone to empathy and it is harder for you to let go of the past and easily get stuck in one thing. Your descriptions such as \"I feel guilty even though it's others' fault,\" \"I am mentally tormented,\" \"I can't adjust and I am greatly influenced by others,\" all align with the characteristics of \"highly sensitive individuals\". However, a specific diagnosis would require further detailed discussion. You can find relevant information to learn more or consult with a counselor for further communication.\n\nYou are right when you say that different people have different levels of sensitivity towards the same thing. There is no need to feel unfair because being a \"highly sensitive individual\" also has many advantages. For example, empathy is a crucial trait for a psychologist, which belongs to the category of \"highly sensitive individuals\". Counselors need to deeply feel the interviewee's pain and distress. Those who lack empathy cannot experience others' feelings. Many artists are also \"highly sensitive individuals\" who require more delicate emotions and express them.\n\nYou are currently troubled because it feels frustrating and helpless that despite someone else's fault, you are the one deeply affected while others seem unaffected. However, we cannot determine whether this issue bothers others based solely on surface appearances. Furthermore, whether others feel bothered or not is actually not important, as the popular saying goes, \"it's none of my business\". Due to your \"high sensitivity\" personality, you need to consciously shut off your emotions when unnecessary to avoid unnecessary interference. This requires self-awareness and self-control, which is not easy at first. In summary, being a \"highly sensitive individual\" is a personality trait, and personality is neither good nor bad. What you need is to understand and accept yourself, achieve self-regulation, and self-control. In my role as a counselor, I also face many negative emotions daily and need to frequently engage in self-regulation. No one can do it perfectly from the beginning. At the same time, your personality trait actually belongs to the talented category. You need to explore the positive aspects of your personality more. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug, I understand your feelings very well. Let's analyze the problems you are facing: You always take things to heart, whether it's your own mistakes or others'. This kind of hypersensitivity is called \"neuroticism\" in psychology. It is not a big problem, but this excessive sensitivity often brings unpleasant emotions and even troubles. \"Neuroticism\" often occurs in introverted individuals. Excessive sensitivity is not a disease, but it is a negative psychological quality. If not overcome, it will not only affect work and study but also affect physical and mental health, causing tension in interpersonal relationships. How to overcome it? First, don't speculate on other people's evaluations of yourself. In daily life, maintain a calm mindset and a trusting perspective towards people and things around you. Focus on yourself and change the mindset that thinks someone is always paying attention to you or opposing you. Don't make a big deal out of small matters or treat your imagined feelings as real, as it would add unnecessary psychological pressure. Second, learn to be kind to others. Be tolerant of other people's shortcomings, learn to get along harmoniously with all kinds of people, and focus on the strengths of others. By gaining respect and care from others, avoid being overly picky towards others. This is how others will accept and like you, making yourself happy and making others feel relaxed. Third, manage your expectations properly. Before doing anything, don't set the goal or expectation too high and consider all the unfavorable factors, leaving room for flexibility. If expectations are set too high, disappointment often awaits. Fourth, have a broad mind. Be more optimistic and magnanimous when faced with situations. To achieve success, a person must possess generosity and cultivation and use psychological suggestion to change their sensitive nature and broaden their mind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! I understand your feelings very well. From your description, I can sense your inner pain and torment. Sending you a hug. [Problem Analysis] Your problem lies in feeling guilty and having a tendency to dwell on things, even if sometimes the problem is not your fault. It can be seen that you are a sensitive person, and because you care too much, you tend to make a big deal out of something that is actually quite normal, which leads to distress and anxiety. [Some Suggestions] Adjust your mindset. The reason you are not happy is because you care too much about what others think. From another perspective, you are also a kind person. After conflicts, you reflect on yourself instead of blaming others, and feel guilty for your actions. But you should remember that life is yours, and the most important thing is to live happily. As long as you have a clear conscience, you don't need to be too hard on yourself about everything. Adjust your mindset and focus on your own feelings. Participate in some activities and interact with people. You can try to participate in some activities to communicate more with the outside world and meet people from different fields and industries. In the process of communicating with them, open up your heart. As you meet more people and experience different things, your perspective on issues and your inner thoughts will change. Maybe things that we used to care about a lot, we later discover are actually very normal and not worth so much attention. Confide in friends and seek their help. Some things, at the time, we care a lot about, and once we become entangled in them, it is difficult to detach ourselves. At such times, it is necessary to express our inner thoughts, confide in friends around us, listen to their advice and opinions, and slowly find a way out with their help. I wish you the ability to ease your mind and live a happy and fulfilling life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear. Each of us is like an independent circle. This circle will undergo some adaptive changes as a result of changes in the people and things around us. However, the stable essence of the circle remains unchanged. But if a person does not have enough secure and stable self, they will easily change shape with the influence of the surrounding environment and things, losing the original stability of their own circle. This is why in life, your emotions often get mixed up with the emotions of others, and you lack a stable sense of self-worth and understanding, and the habit of self-attack. This is how the current state is formed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I understand and sympathize with the feelings you're wrestling with. You seem to have a sensitive personality, which is related to your nature. Sensitivity is actually a talent that can be used to better understand oneself and others. However, the downside is that it can lead to emotional strain and a feeling of being mentally exhausted and torn. Fortunately, you have recognized this issue and are consciously working on improving it. One technique is to accept the fact that is causing you distress in your life and then mentally say to yourself, \"but whatever.\" This self-talk can provide you with a mental suggestion to become more fearless. Also, we are all adults, and each person is responsible for their own emotions, so you don't need to worry about how others feel internally. Lastly, even if there are times when you say or do something wrong that leads to turmoil, don't be too hard on yourself because nobody is perfect and it is common for people to say or do wrong things in their daily lives.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I hope I can help you. It can be seen that you are a very kind person, and whatever you do, you do it with great care and responsibility! In fact, we are the same! Sometimes, even though it would be time-saving and effortless to continue doing something in a certain way, we still feel that it is not excellent enough and does not achieve the desired results! Therefore, we should strive to do our best in everything we do! Firstly, it is not our fault! It is just our responsible and diligent nature! As long as we do things according to our own thoughts without violating principles, it is okay! Keep it up! I hope this helps you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13064
       },
       {
        "question": "Some things can make you feel frustrated when they are out of control.",
        "description": "After losing control of certain things, one may become very irritable. People in the team often become wise after the event.",
        "keywords": "Career, work exhaustion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, it can be understood that 1. When things go out of control, it makes OP feel very irritable. 2. The team members always speak up after the fact, which is annoying. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Most people plan their time and work by setting a schedule for themselves. However, plans often cannot keep up with the changes in life, various minor disturbances, and unexpected events can disrupt the original plan. Feeling irritated in these situations is a normal emotion. Being able to calm down after irritation and continue to deal with problems is already very commendable and enough to accomplish most things in life. 2. OP can start thinking about and gathering the team members for discussions before making a plan. Consider possible errors and reasons for failure, and make efforts to avoid failure. In this way, even if unexpected situations arise later, they can be dealt with promptly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
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        ],
        "questionID": 15023
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old female, has been consistently negative and experiencing intense mood swings over the past year.",
        "description": "In the past year, my emotions have been extremely unstable. I often become angry and irritable, even though I try to control my temper. These emotional outbursts are often triggered by trivial matters, such as my parents constantly pressuring me to socialize and discuss future marriage plans (even though I don't enjoy socializing and am not prepared for married life). Sometimes, my friends unknowingly touch on sensitive topics that upset me, or there may be negative events happening online. Drawing helps me temporarily alleviate my mood, but I never know when my mood will unexpectedly plummet again. I strongly resist socializing, although I don't explicitly show my level of dislike. Sometimes, I feel that life is meaningless, and both the world and myself annoy and disgust me, but I don't want to end my life in any way. I believe I have depressive emotions, but there's another voice inside me saying that I'm just pretending and being influenced by reading too many depression case studies. I experience insomnia about once or twice a month.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, expressing emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Give the OP a warm hug. I completely understand how the OP feels, as I have had similar experiences myself. I don't know why my mood has been low recently, and I can't help but get angry and become easily agitated. The OP may want to try to think about when these emotions started. Often, when we enter into such emotional states, it may be due to the pressure from school or work, or the influence of family and friends around us. Finding the root cause of the problem is key to finding a better solution. Secondly, choosing activities like drawing to relax is a very good choice. The OP should try to find some activities that can help calm their emotions. On the other hand, when negative emotions become overwhelming and cannot be released, the OP can choose activities that offer more stress relief, such as exercise. The OP can also try \"pre-warning\" the people around them, and let them help you. See if others are aware of or have noticed your problems. And the most important thing is to not doubt your own judgment. If you feel that these emotions are becoming uncontrollable and are increasingly impacting your normal life, seek professional help in a timely manner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14351
       },
       {
        "question": "Depression, lately I haven't been taking medication as per the doctor's advice, feeling miserable. Should I consider switching therapists?",
        "description": "Depression, recently I no longer cooperate with the doctor to take medication, and I don't want to face the counselor. It is very painful. Because of my poor financial situation, I have a regular counselor. I don't know if we have established a normal and formal counseling relationship. I have not been doing counseling regularly and often only go to her when I have problems or for several consecutive days. The frequency of seeking her help is based on my financial and emotional responses. Anyway, I keep seeking counseling, but I am still constantly suffering. Even though it is intermittent, we have maintained it for over a year. I have also spent a lot of money during this year, and I have formed a dependency on her. Now it seems like I am not satisfied with anything, including her. Today, when I said that I don't want to live anymore, she ignored me. How could this be? What should I do? I have all kinds of problems. I want to give up but also feel that I can't live without her. What should I do? My situation and financial condition are not good. My family can't help, and sometimes I really just want to die. I can't live without her, but at the same time, I hate her. She has already disappointed me several times. Maybe I am projecting my hatred for others onto her. What should I do? What should I resolve? It's all chaos.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, it can be seen that there is resistance and a hidden sense of attack towards taking medication and facing the counselor. The attack is internalized and directed towards oneself. Your reliance on your counselor is because whenever you encounter problems, you go to them, as if there is always an escape route when faced with difficulties. In this situation, it is problematic for the counselor not to advise against it. I remember when I was ridiculed by someone in the past and found myself crying in the bathroom, I called my counselor, and she told me not to always turn to her whenever something happens. She advised me to give myself a buffer period and a stage for reflection, not to rely on her for everything. That was truly the only time I called her in such a situation. So if your counselor hasn't cautioned you about this behavior, then there is a certain issue of irresponsibility. The relationship between counselor and client is a mutual choice, and in the initial contact, it is important to understand as much information and background of each other as possible to assess suitability. You can go to a reputable hospital or local mental health center for a 50-minute session of counseling, which usually does not exceed 200 yuan. If the prices are different in your area, then, if financially possible, you can go once a week. If not, you can go every two weeks or have a fixed monthly session, which will have better results compared to sporadic counseling sessions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 681
       },
       {
        "question": "Unable to focus on one's emotions, always thinking about finding another option?",
        "description": "Every time I'm in a relationship, I can't fully commit. I always have the mindset of \"keeping my options open\" and flirting with other guys for excitement and novelty.",
        "keywords": "Dating, infidelity, dating management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In relationships, what do you want to get? Is it freshness? If you want freshness, then when choosing a partner, you can find a romantic guy who pursues romance. But then again, everyone has their own things to do in life, and it's impossible to be romantic in everything. Can we lower the demand for novelty, because in the end, we have to return to life. Also, when choosing an emotional connection, can this relationship give you a sense of security? If you don't have the ability to restrain yourself or manage a relationship yet, then focus on living your life well for now, and search for it when you are capable.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21161
       },
       {
        "question": "How to treat the transition from imitating and learning from a young age to being indifferent and forgetful?",
        "description": "I was adopted, and my adoptive father would send me to stay at my aunt's house since I was little, in exchange for free medical care for me. My aunts always told me that I was an outsider and couldn't cause trouble or make a mess. They would always just go through the motions with me and then tell me to entertain myself. I also learned to be indifferent and just go through the motions with everything, not actively participating in group activities and quickly forgetting about things afterwards. Now that has resulted in me treating my work the same way - just going through the motions and forgetting about it afterwards. I have sleep anxiety and unease. How can I change myself and treat myself? I can't keep forgetting about the content of my work right after finishing it. I need to ensure the quality of my sleep.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, trauma therapy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "With a stroke of the pen, the lonely and timid little girl who stayed with her aunt is now vividly depicted on paper. Everyone is innocent, and all past events are embedded in our bodies, seemingly becoming a part of our lives, always there for us to see. If life is a seed, every seed needs abundant psychological nourishment. We have come a long way from learning to walk step by step, and if there is a lack of psychological nourishment within, we will spend our entire lives searching for it. In other words, everyone has an inner child in need of healing. Perhaps the symptoms are just the surface, forgotten or dismissed, but behind the anxiety and unrest, there are many occurrences in the subconscious that need to be acknowledged. Time can't change this, only learning and growth can. If you need it, if you're willing, maybe we can try together to go back to the past, slowly explore, slowly discover, and slowly grow. Give yourself time to harvest the confident and strong version of yourself, okay? I'm here, and the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
            "start": 28,
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           },
           {
            "start": 89,
            "end": 216,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 216,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 235,
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           },
           {
            "start": 281,
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           },
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            "start": 307,
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           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8777
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is my heart up and down when I haven't completed my task?",
        "description": "I want to ask everyone a question. These past few days, I have noticed a situation where when I am almost reaching my goal, but still a little short, my mind becomes restless and I feel very uneasy. I am worried about falling short and constantly feel the need to check on my progress. How can I calmly approach this issue? How can I adjust myself a little? Also, can anyone help me take a look and see what underlying problems I need to address? Thank you for your answers.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, anxiety, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ First, give you a warm hug. I understand your feelings very well. From your post, I learned that you feel very unsettled in your heart when you are close to completing a task. Perhaps you are worried about something or worried that you haven't completed the task, but it's more of a nervous and excited feeling about completing the task. Actually, this is a very common phenomenon. If you have already completed the task but the deadline hasn't arrived yet, you may also have a similar feeling. I believe that there is one situation that everyone has experienced, and that is during exams. In this situation, it's approaching the end time but we haven't finished yet. Another situation is when we have finished, but the end time is approaching. Actually, in both cases, we will feel a sense of nervousness. This is actually very normal. Because our emotions fluctuate not because of whether we have completed the task, but because of the existence of the deadline. Therefore, OP doesn't have to worry about this emotional state. Of course, OP can also try to self-regulate, such as using appropriate self-suggestions or seizing the time to complete the project. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 593
       },
       {
        "question": "In school, when someone looks at you, it can make you feel very uncomfortable. What should you do?",
        "description": "Walking in the school or in the classroom, I feel very uncomfortable whenever someone looks at me, but if I am with friends or going out to play, it doesn't bother me like that.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, stress, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. The gaze of others may be avoided, but what we truly fear is self-examination and self-discontent. From your description, I can sense your fear and anxiety in the face of the gaze of others. When there are familiar people around, the situation improves. Changing your view of others' gaze, perhaps when you think about it rationally, you will realize that their gaze towards you is not malicious, and not everyone is curious about you. It may be that you actively \"focus\" the gaze of others on yourself, projecting internal concerns and insecurities. Perhaps these feelings are deeply hidden in your consciousness, but because such feelings are strong and persistent, they will inevitably emerge from the subconscious. For example, when we suddenly have a few pimples on our face one day, we tend to feel that people around us are looking at the pimples on our face, and we feel that we don't look as good as usual, so our mood becomes worse because of the gaze of others. But in fact, the number of times others gaze at us is the same as usual, it's just that we care too much and \"increase\" their gaze in our psychological perception. Find the reason why you fear the gaze of others, and take practical actions to change it, so that even when you are alone, you can confidently face everyone's gaze. When you go out with friends, it gives you a sense of security invisibly and makes you feel supported internally, even if they haven't done anything, just walking together. Try to increase the number of times you go out alone. When you feel uncomfortable and helpless when being stared at, let yourself think about something easy in your mind, such as subtracting 3 from 789 continuously, or turning your gaze away from the person staring at you and looking at the road or plants nearby, or think of something happy (who you were with, when, what you did, why you felt happy, the more details the better), or hum a song that you remember the lyrics to, etc. The purpose is to relax yourself and not constantly focus your mental resources on the gaze of others. Practice this several times, it's okay to fail at the beginning, just keep going. When you are no longer afraid of the gaze of others, try to interact and communicate freely with others. All of our shortcomings and shortcomings are achieved through day-to-day changes and efforts. Believe in yourself and dare to try. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19703
       },
       {
        "question": "14-year-old girl, recently for the past two weeks, has been having a tendency to overthink and is unable to concentrate on studying.",
        "description": "Recently, I always like to think about some very distant or unrealistic things. For example, how I would spend a lot of money in the future, what my ideal type would be when looking for a partner, what life would be like studying abroad... Personally, I know that the above content is not something I should be considering right now and it's of no benefit to me in the present. But sometimes I just can't control myself. In the morning, even though I could wake up at 6:30 am, I end up daydreaming for more than an hour in a daze, and I feel regretful when I finally get up. I really want to find a method to reject or restrain these random thoughts because they have seriously affected my studies. I want to find some specific measures. Thank you!",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, student development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ I want to say, what a coincidence! I used to have a tendency to think randomly, pondering about what I will do in the future, how much money I will earn, what kind of life I will have, etc. I even think about these things before going to bed, and sometimes during class. When I realized that my thoughts were becoming more and more idealistic and detached from reality, I tried many methods to suppress these daydreams. I think you can try these methods too: shift your focus. When your brain starts to create scenarios, remind yourself to stop in time and prevent the imagination from going deeper. At this moment, you can shift your focus and concentrate on other things, like seeing what tasks you can do nearby, or reading a book, or writing something, divert your attention to the reality. Prepare small details to remind yourself. You can stick a sticky note on your school desk, with words like \"Study diligently, mind don't wander\" or similar, you can also use sticky notes at your home desk as reminders, or even stick a small drawing or sticky note on your bedside table. When you fall into imagination again, tell yourself that in order to have such a life in the future, you need to start working hard now. You should develop a series of study plans or life plans, so that you know if you want your dreams to come true, you need to seize the present, and strive to make your life the way you want it to be. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15619
       },
       {
        "question": "Are you particularly anxious about your own life? Do you really have to do a lot of things ahead of time in life?",
        "description": "I am particularly anxious about my life, and I am always afraid of missing out on something. I work very hard to get what I want. One consequence of this is that I always want to finish one thing, and if I don't, I will be very anxious, very anxious, and even unable to do anything else. I feel like my coordination skills are very poor, and I cannot shift my attention from one point to another. I went for counseling and found out that I am very anxious to complete my tasks and then avoid confronting them. In fact, the more I want to finish, the more I am actually escaping, right? I am very conflicted, and suddenly I feel like I want to live this whole life and live it perfectly. Do I really need to arrange so much for myself? I hope someone can help me sort out my thoughts and help me adjust.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I want to give you a hug and shake your hand because we are in the same boat. I hope you can feel this little bit of strength. Firstly, there is a clear problem with poor coordination and the inability to shift attention. Is it necessary to live a perfect life and arrange so many things? Secondly, let's break down the problem. From your description, it is evident that you are a very responsible person who knows what you want. You have high demands and maybe even perfectionism. Under these high demands, you don't leave yourself any room for buffering. Once you fail to meet your ideal goals, you fall into anxiety and panic. In other words, you lack elasticity at the moment. You also mentioned that when one task is unfinished, you focus on that particular point and may not be able to do other things. This reflects a problem with \"time management\" and \"planning\". In this kind of life, you must be very busy and fulfilled. Even comparing to most people, you are in a high-intensity state. This means you may enjoy the sense of achievement that comes with it, but at the same time, you face an equal amount of pressure. Setting a perfect life or future life plan for yourself is not a problem because everyone has their own desired way of life, it's just that you desire this particular one. However, if you feel uncomfortable, unhappy, or even start experiencing panic and anxiety during this process, then there are certain issues that need attention. Life needs a balance. It is impossible to stay in high gear all the time, as both the body and mind cannot bear it. Thirdly, here are some practical suggestions. Find ways to ease your emotions and create a buffer space for yourself. Nobody can achieve perfection in everything. Your plans may also encounter various difficulties. If you focus all your time on work, not only will it be more harm than good but it will also increase the pressure on your mind and spirit. At this time, you need to create a \"buffer space\" for yourself. This doesn't necessarily mean having a room or a specific place but rather allowing yourself to stop and relax or contemplate the situation. It is a relatively abstract concept, but if we need to give a specific example, it could be having a cup of coffee, doing something unrelated to the current task, or discussing thoughts and exchanging ideas with people around you. Organizing your work environment in a comfortable and cozy way is even better. Additionally, use the PDCA planning schedule and manage your time scientifically. What is the PDCA principle? P - Plan: including the determination of the policy and objectives, as well as the formulation of activity plans. D - Do: design specific methods, plans, and layouts based on known information; then, carry out specific operations to achieve the content of the plan. C - Check: summarize the results of the implementation plan, distinguish what worked and what didn't, clarify the effect, and identify problems. A - Action: handle the results of the review, affirm the successes and standardize them; summarize the lessons from failures and give them due attention. Unresolved issues should be addressed in the next PDCA cycle. Generally, for each task, we first plan (P), then implement (D), during which we check (C) whether the execution has achieved the expected results. We analyze the influencing factors and the reasons for problems and propose solutions. Then, we improve, implement, and enhance (A) based on the review results. Learn to share with others and don't shoulder everything alone. When you encounter difficulties or have any unresolved problems, try talking to the person closest to you and try different perspectives. If possible, discuss future plans or tasks with your immediate supervisor or subordinates. They may have valuable insights and suggestions. Finally, I still believe that you should find time to relax your nerves. Engage in activities that can completely relax and calm yourself. Here, I suggest you learn about tea or flower art, which can help you experience and discover a different side of yourself in this quiet environment. It will be helpful for both your life and work.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! Everyone has their own life path, and we don't have to chase after others. Some people run faster, some run slower. We just need to follow our own pace, persevere, and never forget our original intention. We can still live a brilliant life! So, please don't limit yourself. Grandma Moses once said, \"Some people always say it's too late. Actually, now is the best time. For someone who truly pursues something, every stage of life is young and timely.\" In terms of daily matters, ask yourself more: \"Do I have to complete this immediately? If so, why?\" \"Can I take a break?\" \"What would happen if I completed it later?\" \"Do I have more important things to do?\" Actually, when you stop and think, most things don't need to be completed immediately. Some people say that they are very busy with work and have no time to relax, but I don't believe it! To exaggerate a bit, if they were hit by a car, would they still insist on not going to the hospital because they have to work? You see, what we do and how much time we spend on it are all choices. We have control over them. A friend once said, \"Many things that others consider a waste of time are actually what I enjoy, such as daydreaming, looking out the window, typing a sentence and then slowly deleting it, or walking aimlessly. We care a lot about whether something has meaning, but in reality, many things are meaningless. Do you know that finding the meaning of something is not the most important thing? Finding happiness is.\" Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Growth is finding a breakthrough point, changing track, spiraling upward, and becoming a better version of oneself. Personal journey: The author is devoted to pursuing the results in life and is willing to make efforts to achieve what they want. In the pursuit of results, the author strives for perfection and utilitarianism. If the expected results are not achieved, they become anxious, stressed, and frustrated. When facing changes in the process, the author's coordination skills in overcoming difficulties are relatively poor and they tend to get caught up on a certain point. The author sought advice and realized that they were anxious to complete their tasks, and the more anxious they became, the greater the discrepancy with the desired results, which led them to avoid facing the initial expectations. Now the author is conflicted and has overloaded their life journey, seeking perfection. Social circle: The author has many pursuits in life and has high self-expectations. They can be motivated by engaging in tasks, but due to the inability to overcome obstacles, the discrepancy between their expectations and the actual results is significant, which leads the author to be constantly dissatisfied with their current situation. They start to add more activities to their life and avoid facing their imperfect self. This constant cycle of discrepancy and adding more activities causes the author to feel anxious and conflicted. Changing track: Letting go, no one is perfect, and it is impossible for one person to excel in everything. Just completing a few important and key tasks is enough to make oneself proud throughout life. The author has overloaded their schedule and constantly pursued perfection in every aspect, which has become a burden on themselves. The author needs to learn to let go and focus on a few or even one thing. They should let go of things that they do not truly want to do or are not good at, and focus on a few tasks for a period of time, make a determined effort to do well in the remaining foundational tasks. Energy is limited, and it is not easy to excel in one thing that one is proud of. Focus on the process - when doing things, it is important to have optimistic imagination, pessimistic planning, and joyful execution. The author focuses more on the results when doing things and needs to redirect their attention to the process itself. The author tends to get caught up in a specific point during the process due to anxiety in planning and execution. It is important for the author to have pessimistic planning, considering various unexpected situations, and then creating contingency plans, and finally executing the plans with joy. The author needs to put more effort into pessimistic planning to anticipate all kinds of unfavorable situations, so as not to get stuck when faced with problems or have no solution. The author needs to learn to focus on the perfect execution of the process. The process is the staircase that leads to the desired results, and it requires us to climb step by step to reach the end. In the process, let go of the obsession with perfect results. A perfect plan requires strict execution. The author should not worry about the results during the process and focus too much on achieving the results quickly, ignoring the perfect execution of the plan. Just focus on being excellent, and trust that the universe has its own arrangement. Without a perfect process, there will be no perfect results. Let go, focus on the process, let go of the results, change track, spiral growth, and become a better version of oneself.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey, I want to give you a hug, OP. I've also struggled with this issue, although now I face these anxieties less frequently. So, I want to share my story with you. I used to be obsessed with certain irrational expectations, like having everything happen exactly as I imagined. Otherwise, I would get extremely anxious and think I was terrible for not being able to handle even the smallest things. I also wanted to do everything perfectly and was afraid of missing out on anything. Just like what you mentioned about feeling anxious and unable to shift focus if you didn't complete a task, I also often assigned myself tasks beyond my capabilities... It's really exhausting to live like that! Constantly being caught in endless internal struggles makes me feel tired and question life. I think you must feel exhausted now too. Hugs to you. So, what can we do? In my experience, an imperfect life is the norm, and only you know whether you're living well or not. I hope my approach can inspire and help you. First, I started self-awareness. Whenever I come out of an emotional state, I look back at the whole process: what happened to make me anxious? What will happen next when the anxiety starts? What expectations and thoughts arose during this process? Which ones are real and which ones are imagined? Which ones can I change and which ones do I have to accept? Self-awareness is crucial, especially in distinguishing between reality and imagination, changeable and unchangeable. This is the first step to walk out of it. Then, I ask myself: the situation I'm facing right now is like this, it didn't happen as I expected, and I feel irritated, thinking I'm terrible. What can I do to make myself feel a little better? Acceptance is the beginning of change. This step is actually very difficult, so it's normal not to be able to accept your imperfections and anxiety in the beginning. Pay more attention to your thoughts, find the irrational aspects, and acceptance will naturally happen gradually. If you're not in a tight financial situation and your emotional state is really bothering you, I suggest finding a reliable teacher who can accompany you in your growth. Lastly, I'll share a healing phrase: you won't miss out on anything you're meant to experience! Best wishes to you! Mwah.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP: Hugs to you. From your words, I see two sources of confusion: one is an eagerness for your own life, and the other is a desire to make your life more complete and have a perfect life. These two feelings make you feel anxious. OP, I understand your feelings because I used to be just like you, anxious. Don't worry, let's take a look together. First, why do you have these feelings? 1. Pressure from comparing yourself to others In today's society, there is great competition and pressure. The expectations of parents, the success of friends, peers, and even younger generations surpassing you naturally create a fear of falling behind. Seeing the progress of those around us, we feel panic and anxiety because we haven't achieved the same success at the same time. 2. Life is short, and we want to make our lives more perfect. In fact, life and death are the destiny of life. Each of us cannot change death, and we cannot even know when accidents will happen. Because life is short, we want to try different things, pursue different successes, and fill our time with fullness, giving our all in everything to enrich the quality of our lives. However, everyone's energy and abilities are limited, so when we feel inadequate, we tend to blame ourselves and feel anxious. So, how can we change these two states? I hope the following words can help you, OP. 1. Everyone's life is different, and each person has their own rhythm of life. Some people graduate at 21 and find a job at 27; some people graduate at 25 and immediately find a job; some people never go to college but find something they love at 18; some people find a good job and make a lot of money but are not happy; some people take a gap year to find themselves; some people know what they want at 16 but change their minds at 26; some people have children and are still single; some people get married but wait 10 years to have children; some people are in a relationship but love someone else; some people love each other but can't be together. In fact, OP, life is like a marathon, and everyone has their own life plan. The timing of each person's harvest and maturity is different. As long as you have your own life plan, don't feel anxious about the time that hasn't come yet. Every event in our lives should be a result of our own decisions and timing, and should not be swayed by the wishes of others. Those who have achieved success have actually found their own rhythm. 2. Don't let others disrupt your rhythm in the marathon. J.K. Rowling was rejected 12 times before her globally successful \"Harry Potter\" series was published. If many people had said she didn't have writing talent and should do something else after being rejected, what if she had chosen to give up? Life is never smooth, even if the road is paved for you, there will inevitably be small stones that trip you up. But please be patient, life has infinite possibilities, don't settle, and don't give up lightly. In this long marathon called life, follow your own heart and don't let anyone disrupt your breathing rhythm. 3. Being well-rounded is not perfection. Finding something you care about is another form of perfection. OP, you mentioned that you really want to live a perfect life, so you have made a lot of plans for yourself. You asked, is it necessary? Actually, OP, you have already realized that pursuing perfection in everything is exhausting. We should strive to make our lives rich and colorful, but it doesn't mean that our lives have to be perfect. Because imperfection is the true color of life. Life is short, and none of us has the ability to do everything. We can't engage in several professions we like at the same time, and we can't be experts in many things simultaneously. The objectivity of time determines that we cannot be well-rounded, and we cannot attain everything we want. So, the perfection of being well-rounded actually does not exist. OP, what you should pursue is not the perfection of being well-rounded, but finding something you truly love and putting in your effort for it. In fact, it is precisely because we cannot pursue perfection in everything that we can see and understand what matters most to us on our journey through life. When we give our all in something we truly love, it is also a form of perfect life. Do our best and listen to destiny. After I have done everything I can, even if I don't ultimately achieve what I pursued, I will have no regrets. Because the effort I put in during the pursuit is also another interpretation of perfection. Finally, I want to tell you, OP, that the most touching drama in life is often not about who has the most perfect life, but about those who sincerely perform their own lives. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: I deeply sense your pain, which is a state of [obsessive thinking + perfectionism personality]. You are constantly entangled, or on the way to being entangled, in a panic about things that haven't happened yet, anxious to [finish first]. But it seems like you have discovered something, which is \"Is it necessary?\" The choice is actually yours, we can analyze, maybe you will find that it is not necessary to analyze and understand the problem: 1) You are particularly anxious about your own life, always afraid of missing out on something, and working hard to get what you want. (We all have the mindset of winning or losing in life, which is a very normal state. However, perhaps there is a reason why people are arranged to live for 70 or 80 years. Enjoying comfort may be more meaningful than simply going through the motions. At least what remains is beautiful, while what is missed is unnecessary.) 2) One result of this is that you particularly want to finish a task, and if you don't finish it, you will be very anxious, anxious to the point where you can't do anything else, and you feel that your coordination skills are very poor, unable to shift attention from one point to another. (It is not wrong to want to do well and finish a task. However, what we need to evaluate is what you mentioned as \"is it necessary?\" If it is not necessary, why not spend limited time on something that is more necessary instead of wasting time on unnecessary things just to finish them? That would be \"not worth it\". Having a slightly poor coordination skills is not scary at all. This ability can be learned. We can discuss it further if there is an opportunity.) 3) You sought counseling and found that you are anxious to complete your tasks, and then you don't have to face them anymore. But actually, the more you want to complete them, are you just avoiding them? (Completing tasks is fine, but why the \"anxiety\"? Right? Completing tasks is a very good quality, but \"anxiety\" is a bad state. You can connect them together: \"anxiously completing tasks, what is the purpose? What is the necessity?\" I think you are a very smart person and you will understand.) 4) You are conflicted. Suddenly, you feel that you want to live your whole life and live it perfectly, with many arrangements for yourself. Is it necessary? You hope someone can help clarify your thoughts and help you adjust. (Yes, it is a contradictory mindset, but it's okay. We can slowly unravel it. If you live your whole life, living perfectly and experiencing a lot, can you digest it all at once? To deal with decades of matters in an instant, what will you do in the future? How can you surpass the sense of accomplishment in the future? Won't it be uncomfortable to have no goals or direction for decades? Of course, if you want to, you can.) Confronting the problem: \"Are you really in a hurry to finish many things in life?\"~~ It's okay to be \"anxious\", but what is the \"purpose\" of being anxious? This, we can discuss it in more depth if there is an opportunity. I understand that your anxiety is not intentional, but we can think: our own lives are meant to be in our own hands, whether we are anxious or not, no one will compete with us for credit, so what is the \"meaning\" of being anxious?~~ Does life really have to complete many things ahead of time? You can choose to do it in advance, but there will be some \"side effects\". For example, \"haste makes waste\". Clearly, with decades of things, if you finish them all at once, it's easy to have indigestion! Anything requires a process, and at your speed of thinking, there is no process, otherwise it cannot be completed. But here's the problem, things without a process cannot be considered \"completed\"! On the other hand, even if everything is achieved, what will you do in the future? Suddenly enjoying the satisfaction of completing everything, the inner self will suddenly feel empty. Because what will you do for the next few decades? There are too many things to discuss here, such as the concept of \"imperfect perfection\" and endless desires, so I won't discuss them one by one here. I hope we can have a chance for in-depth communication. Closing remarks: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you can enjoy life/the present moment! If you have any specific confusion, feel free to send me a private message!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, I think you should first think about what your definition of life is. The human brain has unlimited freedom to define life and life goals. You can define it however you want, but there are some definitions that can make a person living on Earth feel very painful because they violate some fundamental objective laws and social principles. Let me give you an analogy: if you are a farmer growing crops, and you define your life as harvesting as much food as possible as quickly as possible, believing that having the most food is happiness and success, then you might always feel in pain. This is because growing crops requires tasks such as sowing, tending, and fertilizing, and it follows the growth patterns of the seasons. If you only define success by the final harvest of food, then you won't have any harvest for almost the whole year, and you will consider it unsuccessful and painful. Even if you receive some food at the end of the year, you may not have the most, so you still feel unhappy. I think you should consider the simple and eternal truth: your life is made up of every minute and second of your existence. If you extract the value from every moment, then you will have a life full of value. It's best not to constantly define life with the word \"success\" because society has overused that term. Especially those contents labeled as \"success studies\" are actually brainwashing techniques prepared for those who are eager for quick success, unwilling to make efforts, and only want money.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"This is your \"time perception.\" Firstly, if you feel regret about the past, seeing your question reminds me of one aspect of time perception, which is having a negative attitude towards the past and feeling regret for not doing anything. So now you constantly try to make up for the past, but in reality, you are still living in the past and the present. This is why you fear that there will be regrets in life and want to finish your life quickly. Secondly, bid farewell to the past. If you want to solve this problem, you need to wave goodbye to the past and bid farewell to things that make you feel regret. When you are ready, we can enter into a meditation exercise: allow yourself to go back to that regretful event in the past, release yourself to feel the situation at that time, allow yourself to feel sad, allow yourself to feel pity. Then, when you have enough courage, bid farewell to that event. Tell yourself that it has become the past and that you are willing to let go. Thirdly, allow life to have regrets because we are human, we have limitations, and our limitations lead to regrets. Accept that you are imperfect, accept that life has regrets. Lastly, live in the present and do your best. Firstly, there are things in the past that make you regretful, but at the same time, there are also memories that make you extremely happy and worth cherishing, right? Secondly, choose something that suits your talents and needs to learn. Our energy and time are limited, we can't be good at everything. We can only choose what suits us best and what we need the most. Applying what we have learned is more important than being versatile, and it is most important to use our talents. Finally, turn regrets into positive growth and don't fear the future. With experience comes wisdom, and people definitely become more mature as they age. So, rest assured about the future. But no matter what you ultimately choose to do, feeling regret about the past is your perception of time, and through this, you will come to understand yourself better. Wishing you the best, Namaste!\"",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18525
       },
       {
        "question": "\"My mother is in the late stage of cancer, and I have discovered that my father may be having an affair. How can I adjust my emotions?\"",
        "description": "My mother has had cancer for two years now, and her condition has been deteriorating in recent months. I feel emotionally suppressed every day because of this. Recently, I also discovered that my father is involved with another woman, which has caused me a great deal of pain. How can I adjust myself and avoid falling into this misery?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, family member's health.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, I can tell that you are a sensible child who cares about the whole family. It must have been tough and exhausting for you to deal with your mother's illness and your father's infidelity. At the same time, we cannot control or influence the situations coming from both your mother and father. It feels so powerless and helpless. If possible, I would like to give you a hug right now. When we feel helpless and passive in our environment, we tend to fall into negative emotions. The pain, the unfairness, the anger, and so on, they all arise, making it difficult for us to shake them off, right? However, OP, do you know that humans are also resilient? Even if the surroundings cannot be changed, even if external pressure won't disappear, we can still change the way we perceive things and control our inner selves. For example, in Nazi concentration camps, the physical and mental torment cannot be avoided, but a person's inner faith will not waver because of it. The heart of a person is the freest place. So, how do we make our hearts feel more free? We can try to divert some attention from our parents' difficulties to ourselves, to tend to our own hearts. I believe a sensible child like you must be constantly thinking about how to make your mother happier, how to improve the situation, and how to make your father pay more attention to the family, while neglecting our own needs. Now, let's ask our own hearts what we want to do. Do we want to go out and play with friends? Or do we want to have a nice meal? Or do we want to confide in someone? Then, let's fulfill those desires, just as you show tender care for your mother. Sometimes, we may think, \"Mother is in so much pain, how can I seek happiness for myself alone? What right do I have?\" If that's the case, then what's the difference between me and my father? But actually, dear OP, you have the right to make yourself happy. Making yourself happy is like recharging yourself, and only a charged battery can bring vitality to the whole family. If our batteries are below 10%, it's impossible to energize the whole family. So, OP, please take care of yourself and do things that fulfill your inner expectations. Once we have fulfilled ourselves, we will have the energy to take care of other family members. Additionally, if it's difficult to find support at home, we can seek companionship and support through communication with close friends and relatives. In the presence of trustworthy friends, try to tell them about your needs and let your vulnerable side be seen. This alone can make us feel better. Lastly, I want to share with you that each of us is weaving our own stories in this lifetime, and these experiences are the materials for our stories. Even if the materials are the same, different people can weave different stories based on how they utilize them. Whether you believe it or not, there are definitely people who have similar experiences to ours and have woven great stories using those materials. And you, too, can be one of them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I am currently experiencing the awkward situation of my mother being seriously ill and my father possibly having an affair. I hope that my words can help you, the poster, in the future! \"Spending quality time with your mother in her limited life\" In this world, many people feel regret and guilt when their loved ones pass away, realizing that they didn't spend enough time with their family. It is difficult to overcome the grief of losing a family member. Huang Lei once said, \"No matter how much time I spend with my parents, it's never enough!\" Take the opportunity to spend more time with her, even if you can't do anything about her illness. As long as you are there, accompanying her, she won't be alone. This way, you will have fewer regrets in the future! \"How to deal with your father's issue\" Talk to your father, tell him that this family needs him, and both you and your mother need him. Emphasize the emotional and logical aspects and reason with him to come back to the family! \"Do what you can do\" Whether it's your mother's illness or your father's feelings, you can't decide for them. Your words can only serve as reference and assistance. So, do your best, take care of yourself, and that's enough. As for the outcome, learn to accept it calmly. You have already done well, learn to affirm yourself, seek help from friends and relatives, and timely release negative emotions. Regardless of the situation, I hope you can live a sunny and hopeful life! Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ I understand your feelings very well, sending you a hug~ In the journey of life, we do encounter many helpless situations. I'm glad to see that you realize the importance of adjusting your mindset and facing them more positively. Many things are beyond our control, and all we can do is accept the reality calmly and do our best within our abilities. Sometimes, we may experience pain, but we must stay strong and believe that there will be a rainbow after the storm. 1. Your mom has cancer, and her condition has worsened. Hugs to you, understanding and caring. You must be very concerned about your mom. However, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Believe that your mom wants you to be good and happy every day. Can you entrust this issue to the doctors and the higher power? Have faith that the medical treatment will definitely be effective and silently wish and pray for your mom in your heart. One day, we will all say goodbye to our loved ones, so spend more time with them every day to let them feel warmth and love. 2. Your dad is involved with another woman outside the marriage. Try to understand his difficulties, I believe he has also made many sacrifices for the family. Do you communicate with your dad regularly? Try to have a conversation, it may improve the situation. Understand his thoughts and share your feelings. It would be best if he can understand you. 3. Share your feelings appropriately and seek help. You must have good friends whom you can rely on, talk to them, don't keep everything bottled up inside. If you don't have someone suitable to confide in, you can consider seeking counseling, there are many people who can listen and offer support. Additionally, writing a journal is also a good option, write down your feelings and remind yourself to view the problems correctly and positively. In short, none of these things are your fault, don't blame yourself, just do your best in dealing with them. Take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This situation is indeed very bad, and Dad's behavior is indeed hard to accept. I understand your feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and disappointment... How can you regulate your emotions in this situation? I suggest you return to the role of a daughter. Many of these emotions are not generated when you are in the role of a daughter. You haven't stood in the daughter's position, and you have taken on too much for your parents. Of course, this is also due to Mom's illness and Dad's escape, and they haven't been in their parental roles.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Mom and you have both had a hard time. Hugs to you! Keep going! At this time, only you can stand by your mom and support her, so you really should adjust yourself. Try not to let her know about your father's affairs, as this kind of thing is very devastating. It is very difficult to still consider your father as a family member and not let his actions affect you or cause pain. There is research that says, \"Men are creatures driven by their lower instincts,\" meaning that most men would choose instinct over emotions. Once, a woman who cared for her husband, who was in a vegetative state, in the neurosurgery department said that the only ones who wouldn't give up on a patient are parents for their children and wives for their husbands, but it rarely happens the other way around. Your father's actions during your mom's most painful and desperate moments undoubtedly show a lack of consideration for his marital bond. So, don't have too much hope for his humanity. The bigger the hope, the bigger the disappointment. Right now, you can only detach your feelings from him, not dwell on his actions, not pay attention to anything related to him, and especially, don't hate him (you can tell him that you hate his heartlessness and scold him, but don't hold it in your heart, because he hasn't held you all in his heart). When he is just a passerby in your life, you can truly let go. Treat him as the \"most familiar stranger,\" learn to separate \"emotion\" from behavior, and your pain will be much less.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Take good care of your mother. Be filial to your mother. Be considerate and sympathetic towards your father. Our bodies and skin are given to us by our parents, and it is not easy for anyone to be born. Perhaps you have a lot of worries and confusion in your heart. You may feel resentful towards your parents. You may wonder how to overcome the difficulties in your own life. But why not ask yourself what you truly desire? Do you really want to continue being trapped in such emotions? If you don't genuinely want to, then caring for your parents and understanding their hearts is what you truly need to focus on. If you have made up your mind to take good care of your mother, with a strong desire in your heart, even if the outcome is not as desired, it is still better than constantly blaming yourself. Cherish the people in front of you, especially those who you really want to take care of. They are the most important to you! (In my opinion). Keep going! Fight on!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17346
       },
       {
        "question": "Why can't I cry and why do I laugh when I cry? I feel like I'm not in a good mental state.",
        "description": "Recently, I've been feeling inexplicably uncomfortable. I have this urge to cry, but every time I feel tears coming, they disappear, making me feel even more suppressed. When I laugh, it's like I can't control myself. I keep laughing, but then it turns into crying. I feel that my mental state is not good, but I don't know why.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems like you often feel uncertain about your emotions and get randomly affected by them, right? In reality, everyone experiences emotional distress. Some people get controlled by their emotions and become immersed in them, while others can use their emotions to observe their inner state and turn them into a catalyst for personal growth. The choice of how to deal with emotions ultimately determines one's quality of life. You have the power to decide how to approach your emotions. If you want to surpass their control and have free will, it all starts with acceptance. Accepting emotions is a state of energy that can only be transformed, not eliminated. Based on your reaction, it seems that your past approach to dealing with emotions has been suppressing and resisting them. This accumulation eventually reaches a point where you feel powerless to control it, and it becomes the main theme influencing your behavior, making you willing to face it. Allow your emotions to arise and release the accumulated energy. You mentioned feeling numb and unable to cry, which is like a blocked water pipe, naturally creating a sense of suppression and discomfort. In this situation, you can watch movies that stir your emotions and let your tears flow along with the storyline. Suppressing tears is poison, while letting them flow is like finding pearls. Allow yourself to release and find ways to express your emotions, whether it's shouting, crying, or making a scene. When I am in great pain, I go hiking and find a big tree where I can vent all my grievances, sadness, worries, and anxieties. It's a great way to clear your mind. I also write extensively to release my emotions, and it has been very helpful to me. Regular exercise is also a good way to release the accumulated energy in your body through sweating. As you continue to clear out, your inner self will become clearer, allowing you to have a deeper sense of inner experience and a greater awareness of the underlying cognition behind your emotions. Only by identifying the hidden puppeteer behind the control, whether it's familial or other constraints, can you truly break free from the disturbances brought by your emotions. It is possible for everyone as long as they are willing. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ~ The desire to cry is usually due to having a lot of negative emotions or experiencing something very unpleasant. However, not being able to cry may be because we are trying our best to suppress our negative emotions and not let them be expressed smoothly. Sometimes we have this feeling that crying represents vulnerability, so when we want to cry, we try to show our strong side as much as possible. Sometimes, we may also feel that there is nothing worth crying over. It is normal to cry while laughing. Normally, tear glands secrete a small amount of tears to lubricate and clean the eyes, and also have a weak antibacterial effect through blinking. Tear glands are regulated by the trigeminal nerve and the sympathetic nervous system, and when the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated, tear secretion increases. Therefore, when laughing, being emotionally excited, or excessively sad, the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated, leading to increased tear production. Thus, shedding tears while laughing is a normal physiological phenomenon. Ordinary people only cry when they are very excited. Best wishes ~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I saw your topic, I already felt heartache. This must be such a suffocating and depressing state! Seeing you mention feeling inexplicably uncomfortable, wanting to cry but unable to, feeling the oppression yourself. Feeling that you are in such pain that it tears your heart apart, feeling disappointed and numb. There is no greater sorrow than a dead heart. When a person is extremely sad and grieving, they actually can't cry and should be in a happy state, but you can't stop laughing, and while laughing, you start crying. This shows that this laughter is not genuinely happy laughter. My dear, when you are experiencing this state, what happened to you? What is making you feel so depressed and sad? People may isolate the reasonable emotions that should appear in themselves when they encounter certain stressful events, in order to protect their inner selves. Just like Swiss psychologist Verena Kast said: \"A person is often emotionally depressed not because they are excessively sad, but precisely because they have rejected sadness.\" If you can cry, your emotions can find a way to release. But if you can't cry, you feel like you have lost yourself. Being in a state of lacking appropriate emotional reactions to oneself is even more disappointing. I think at this time, you need a warm embrace to take good care of you. I hope you can overcome the dark clouds soon. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5024
       },
       {
        "question": "There are many things that are suffocating me, how can I make life meaningful?",
        "description": "I can't sleep well. I wake up in the middle of the night. I can't remember anything for the past six months. My grades are also declining. I feel like there's so much weighing me down that I can't breathe. I have no interest in anything. I don't want to socialize. I don't want to go out. Once I'm out, I don't want to go home. What's wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, therapeutic methods, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Wisdom Non-empty interpretation: 1. First, give you a warm embrace. Excessive stress can deplete your energy. The longer it lasts, the more overwhelmed you may become. 2. This kind of pressure may come from the outside world, but it only affects you when you confirm it yourself. Are you pursuing perfection too much? Or do you have high demands and are overly critical of yourself? Or is the outside world demanding too much of you? 3. People are not omnipotent. It is impossible to do everything perfectly or be superior in every aspect, although such people do exist, they are rare. 4. Give yourself some leeway. Admitting that you cannot achieve perfection will make you feel much more relaxed. Go into battle lightly and feel more comfortable! 5. Accepting your current situation is the only way to change it in the future. There is no point in suppressing yourself and strangling your throat.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! OP, let me share some of my thoughts in the hope that they will be helpful to you. If a person cannot find peace of mind, it indicates that there are issues that cannot be resolved from within, causing inner turmoil. For example, as a student, if your grades decline and your parents blame or discredit you, it can lead to low mood. When a student's studying doesn't yield satisfactory results and there is no support of love from their parents, it will inevitably affect their mood. So, how can one get rid of this kind of annoyance? To have hope in life, one must find their own inner motivation and act upon it. When both the mind and body are relaxed and stretched out, one naturally feels at ease, untroubled, and gets better sleep. What are some ways to increase inner motivation? 1. Focus on doing one thing. For example, if your grades are generally poor and you don't know what to do, it can be frustrating. In this case, start by finding one subject that you feel you can improve in and study it diligently. Believe that your efforts will definitely lead to better grades. Set small goals to boost your confidence. 2. If you're feeling troubled, exercise can help relieve stress and improve mood by stretching the body. So, go out and run with all your heart, until you reach your limit. After sweating it out, maybe your worries will dissipate too. 3. Find something you excel at apart from academics, believe in yourself, and appreciate your own accomplishments. Recognize that you're not without any positive attributes. In short, to resolve the troubles that burden the heart, one must learn to face, solve, and change. Do not retreat or avoid, otherwise, you will only continue to sink into contemplation. Be brave enough to step out of a bad state of mind. The only one who can save you is your own heart. Self-motivation is also a way to increase inner motivation. If there is not much external support, learn to cheer yourself on and explore the beautiful scenery on your own. Courage and perseverance are very important because the road of life will always have its ups and downs. Don't stop walking if you encounter a difficult path. Instead, learn to navigate through it calmly because there's no turning back, only looking forward. Keep moving forward steadfastly to reach the scenery you want to see. On the journey, learn to let go of burdens and pressures so that you can enter the battlefield lightly and walk more smoothly. Don't hesitate to let go of stress and emotions. Wishing you a speedy recovery and good luck. Believe that you can do it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14737
       },
       {
        "question": "How to discover what my true mental problems are?",
        "description": "I have found that when I try to describe my problems, I tend to imagine what they are and then embellish them with words to make others believe and make myself believe. However, as someone who lacks psychological knowledge, it is easy for me to make mistakes and difficult to correct them. Even most of the time, my initial intuition is wrong.",
        "keywords": "Development, improved character, personality traits, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Let go of your mind and follow the sensations of your body. Because the subconscious exists in our bodies, not in our minds, and it doesn't need the fabrications of the mind. Of course, the mind and body are interconnected, and when you wholeheartedly describe a problem, you may have already sincerely invited the problem. Over time, perhaps the problems will be validated one by one. I am curious about your confusion regarding \"how to discover your true psychological problems\". Descriptions of psychological problems always have subjective colors, but the emphasis is on details and feelings. Feelings reside more in the body, and our bodies never lie. Therefore, a counselor will pay more attention to how you say it, not just what you say. For example, if you frown and say you're happy, we may question your happiness. Of course, facing the truth requires courage, and some truths may lie in the realm of our subconscious that we haven't even realized yet. This is exactly the significance of counseling work. Follow the sensations of your body, under the guidance of a counselor, and through the awareness of the subconscious, help me see a different side of myself. Learning and growth, we are always on the journey. Hello. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
            "start": 96,
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            "type": "Restatement"
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            "start": 123,
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            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I see that you want to clarify how to determine your mental health status. This reminds me of how someone determines whether their face is clean. There are two methods: one is to observe oneself through a mirror, and the other is to ask others for help to observe and determine. Applying this idea to your question may be feasible. One is to use certain tools for self-assessment, and the other is to ask for assistance from others. These others can be trusted friends, professionals such as psychiatrists, mental health therapists, or counselors. I don't know if this answers your question. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8242
       },
       {
        "question": "When my mother scolds me, I am filled with pain and hatred. Is hating one's parents a pathological condition?",
        "description": "\"I see that you're worthless. Teachers may praise you, but in my eyes, you're just a piece of shit. You'll always be a good-for-nothing. A worthless piece of trash that no one cares about, even if you die outside.\" These are all direct quotes from my mother, and there are even more offensive ones that I don't want to share. Anyway, she always thinks that I'm inferior to others, that I'm a worthless and insignificant girl who will never amount to anything. Maybe my mother doesn't realize how hurtful her words are, but they make me feel sad and want to cry. I try to talk about things I like, but she never listens for more than a few sentences. If I don't speak, she demands that I do, and I sometimes feel so tired and don't want to provoke her anger. But she doesn't understand why I feel the need to speak. Over time, whenever my mother scolds me, I feel anger and deep hatred in my heart. My life is completely planned by her. What is she so dissatisfied with? I even believe that I'm not as outstanding as others, but I will still work hard to achieve something. But later, I realized that all this effort was worthless. What's the point of getting 100 in physics? Even with an English score of 140, she would say, \"Look at you, look at others. Others scored 143, why are you only at 140?\" So, I no longer want to meet her expectations, which always result in physical abuse. Once I get into college and have lived for 20 years, I will just go and die. I, being this kind of person, don't deserve to exist.\"",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Think about when your parents were born, what kind of education they received, and what kind of family environment they grew up in... I always feel that my parents are not qualified, or rather, they can't meet the standard. They didn't have the opportunity to have a good living environment like us, or an educational environment, or a clear understanding of right and wrong... So we can only understand their attitude, maybe it's really not good. But you must realize and feel that this is not good. You will definitely not treat your children this way~ This is the progress of generations~ Don't expect to change them, it's difficult. Instead of changing them, it's better to improve yourself, and right now, the important thing is to focus on learning. You will definitely have a better future~ So the judgments or criticisms from your parents may not necessarily be true. They are just expressing their emotions. For example, if you get a score of 140 in English and ask the teacher or classmates to evaluate, it must be considered a good score. Grades are meant to objectively and fairly reflect the results of your hard work. Don't doubt your efforts. Whether you are outstanding or not is not determined by a few words from your parents. Your future life starts from accumulating effort in the present. I think you are already doing well in your studies, and I hope you continue to work hard~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17089
       },
       {
        "question": "Unable to feel his sincerity, should a relationship without hope continue?",
        "description": "I have been with my partner for half a year, but I can't feel his true feelings towards me. Whenever I try to communicate with him, he never seems to understand my feelings. Whenever we face problems, he always asks me how to solve them. I'm really tired, but he doesn't want to break up yet. I don't know how to continue anymore. I always feel like our relationship has nothing to do with love.",
        "keywords": "Love, dependence, arguments, relationship management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! You've been in a relationship for half a year and you desire for your partner to understand you, empathize with your feelings, accept and tolerate you, and even know and fulfill your needs without you having to ask. But obviously, this person is unable to do that, and may even require your support, understanding, and decision-making. Therefore, you feel tired and hesitant about continuing the relationship, although you don't want to break up either. Is that right? Each of us seeks and establishes relationships because of love and needs. As they say, all relationships have needs. Your relationship is not over yet because both of you are getting some \"benefits\" from it. Breaking up is a decision made by one person, while staying together requires the agreement of both. You have the power to decide to break up on your own. But your hesitation and reluctance show that you are still finding satisfaction in the relationship. Maybe your partner can't fulfill your need for understanding, but they may fulfill other aspects, such as taking care of you in daily life or alleviating loneliness. You can explore and see if that's the case. No matter how close the relationship, it can't fulfill all your needs. They can fulfill some but not all. Sometimes they can fulfill, sometimes they can't. The key is whether your most important and valued needs are being met. Additionally, is this inability to fulfill due to your extremely high standards or because your emotional patterns don't match? If it's the former, and you require an intense, emotionally volatile relationship, you can try finding someone else, but the probability of encountering a scoundrel is very high. If it's the latter, then you can seek someone else who is a better match since long-term incompatibility can indeed be exhausting. Finally, when you decide to continue in this relationship, you need to learn to satisfy your own emotional needs. By understanding yourself more and taking care of your own feelings, you won't rely as much on your partner's understanding. Then, learn to express your needs correctly and teach your partner to fulfill them. Love can be created.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The questioner is currently distressed because they really like this man and are afraid of losing him? Or is it because they just want to get attention and love from their boyfriend? If it is fear of losing a boyfriend, we can make some appropriate changes. The love you give may not be the love he wants, similarly, what you understand and express clearly may not be what he can receive! If it is about wanting attention and love, you can use a simple and clear \"I statement\" which is \"I feel..., because..., I hope you...\".",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13499
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does studying give people such headaches? Where does the motivation for learning come from?",
        "description": "Why do games have such a strong allure and can be self-taught? Why does studying cause people so much headache, no matter how you explain it, they just won't listen and immediately go on and on about games?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, avoidance, and mobile phone dependency",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Learning itself is a process of breaking out of one's comfort zone, and this process is quite painful, not easy and enjoyable. Because learning requires more effort, constantly learning and mastering new knowledge and courses, this itself lacks entertainment, so people will feel a sense of hardship when learning. The original intention of games is for entertainment and leisure. It relaxes people's minds and reduces various pressures. Therefore, for most people, games are an \"attraction,\" games = happiness, leisure, and relaxation. In fact, learning itself does not cause headaches. If there is such a thought, it is because learning and pain are equated. Just thinking about learning will trigger a sense of pain. This feeling may come from the outside world, such as continuous lecturing and scolding from parents, combined with the fact that learning itself is not an easy task. However, there are also some people who really enjoy learning, enjoy reading, and enjoy researching. Even if no one urges them to learn, they have an inner motivation to learn. We need to know that everyone is different, and there are differences in interests and hobbies between individuals. If you want your child to have the motivation to learn, you must first consider how to prevent the child from losing motivation and confidence, and not let the child have a negative feeling about learning. Like what you described, if they don't listen even when you speak, it only means that our previous methods were ineffective, and we need to adopt another approach to deal with children's learning. Try to understand the reasons behind the child's behavior.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your question, I would like to provide you with the following analysis and advice in the hopes of helping you! Your love for gaming and being self-taught stem from your interests. You have a great interest in gaming, so naturally, you are willing to spend time and energy studying it, mastering various gaming skills, and understanding game content. You find studying boring and lack motivation because studying requires a significant amount of time and effort, and coincidentally, you have no interest in studying, so you are unwilling to invest time and energy, resulting in an inability to concentrate and headaches. Every one of us finds things that we are not interested in to be boring and uninteresting. You need to find a balance between gaming and studying. This doesn't mean abandoning gaming but rather prioritizing and allocating time reasonably. Treat gaming as a form of relaxation and entertainment while ensuring that it doesn't affect your studies. Try to find enjoyment in learning, discover learning methods that suit you, and give yourself appropriate rewards to provide motivation and encourage yourself to study (you can use a planner or journal to organize and record your life and studies). By excelling at studying, you can also excel at gaming. Think more and read more. Have a clear understanding of your thoughts and how to act upon them. Set long-term goals and short-term objectives. Use goals to motivate yourself and gradually become a better version of yourself. We all have a tendency to be lazy, and compared to challenging tasks, we naturally prefer easy ones. I hope that you can make studying as interesting and easy as gaming, and become a more diligent and self-disciplined person. Your personal mental health advisor who is here for you. May my words bring you warmth! I would also like to thank occasional passersby for reading this, and feel free to follow me and mark it as \"helpful\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4200
       },
       {
        "question": "What to do when experiencing emotional outbursts due to stress or encountering individuals who violate social norms?",
        "description": "I am someone who dislikes trouble in life and often tries to avoid it. However, when others (not just one or two people) insist that I do something I don't want to do, I can't avoid it and become very assertive. My emotions can suddenly explode. In my neighborhood, people often take others' parking spaces. Once, someone used someone else's parking space for a funeral in the neighborhood, which is not allowed according to the rules and it affected my life. But no one said anything to them, and I became angry, just like the situation I described above, and did something irrational. It's also a parking space issue when someone occupies my family's parking space, but they act like it's not what they did, and I get furious. When I become angry, I feel like I am a different person from my usual self. The reason for my anger is not understood by those around me. According to people around me, I should change this, but I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts and clashes.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, are you okay? Whether you need to make adjustments and changes is up to you to decide. Other people's opinions can only be taken as reference. In simple terms, if you feel uncomfortable, then make a change. If you don't feel uncomfortable, then there's no need to change. Firstly, it is normal. Anyone would feel unhappy when they feel offended, but the intensity may vary. Anger often stems from fear. \"I am someone who doesn't like trouble in my life and often tries to avoid it.\" Many people with social anxiety disorder have similar expressions. It's not really about being afraid of bothering others, but rather being afraid of having their requests rejected. Once rejected, they feel a strong sense of insecurity and then use anger as a way to \"arm\" themselves, to hide their inner fear and \"confront\" the imagined \"danger\". Typically, people with this personality type are sensitive, kind-hearted, and fragile. \"When I get angry, I feel like it's a different person compared to my usual self. Nobody around me understands the reason for my anger.\" Yes, occasionally loss of control may occur during anger. We can interpret this situation as a form of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). In fact, this situation is indeed caused by strong stimuli and has not received appropriate psychological counseling in a timely manner. Generally, other people may find it difficult to understand. Many times, they may think: \"It's just a small matter, it's not a big deal, why get so angry?\" and so on. Another possibility, according to psychoanalysis, is that libidinal energy is fixated on the \"anal stage\", which needs to be traced back to issues in the original family. Different schools of thought have different treatment methods, and if the current situation is causing you considerable distress, you can try seeking psychological counseling to resolve it. Wishing you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In the expression of anger, it does not mean that you are argumentative, but you may also be someone who knows how to protect yourself and know when to advance and retreat. There is no problem with that. We need to constantly examine ourselves and not immediately act on our emotions. Think about what you would say. \u2460Sometimes when we are angry and irritable, we need to distance ourselves from the conversation. \u2461If others are not reasonable, then please make yourself a more tolerant person. Sometimes we also need to detach ourselves from the conversation. \u2462Think about why you are sensitive to that kind of behavior of ignoring certain people. \u2463Try to see what you can learn from these things. These people who violate social rules ultimately need to take responsibility for them, so as to handle things well and stabilize your inner world. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, thank you for the invitation to answer. The situation you described makes me feel that there is a lot of anger about to explode within you. Perhaps the things that make you angry are just the tipping point, and the anger within you may have been pent up for a long time, stemming from past experiences or build-up over time. It is not the primary task to simply get rid of these anger-inducing events, as it is not easy to change them and it does not fundamentally solve the problem. The priority is to remind yourself to look at the source and root causes of these anger issues, which is actually a good opportunity for self-exploration.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16006
       },
       {
        "question": "Do not trust people after being attacked, keep a distance from those who smile at me.",
        "description": "I have a colleague who used to be quite cheerful and always smiling. However, due to work-related reasons, she attacked me once. Now whenever I see someone who looks friendly and smiles at me, I feel scared and even think that they might attack me or have ulterior motives. But in reality, they are genuinely friendly. It's just that because of being attacked before, I actually prefer to interact with people who always reject me and keep my distance from those who smile at me. This has resulted in me having no friends and it bothers me.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, and social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Everyone has their own vision of the world, which is the way they believe the real world looks like. It also serves as a basis for their actions and interactions with others in this world. However, when unpleasant things happen, these visions may be shattered, inevitably threatening their sense of security. In this process, psychological trauma may occur, and one manifestation is not being able to trust people who seem friendly, as you mentioned. The first and most important step is to acknowledge your feelings, emotions, and concerns, instead of denying, avoiding, or ignoring them. By recognizing these emotions, you can search for or understand the things that cause you pain, sadness, or sorrow. This allows you to proactively address these things and strive to prevent their reoccurrence in future relationships. It is necessary to address and rebuild trust in new relationships, not just perceive it as emotional distress. Specifically, find friends who are friendly and trustworthy (you probably already have many such friends) and change your mindset while interacting with them to rebuild the trust in the world and others. More importantly, rebuild trust in yourself. The best outcome is that you will no longer associate friendliness with being harmed by someone, and your distress will no longer exist. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Many times, when someone attacks, it is not to hurt you, but rather to protect themselves. The more aggressive a person is, the more fragile they actually are and easily break down. You don't need to bear the burden of their fragility; you just need to step back and see how fragile they are, how they are trying to protect themselves. If you are willing to help them, you can ask them, \"I understand how you feel right now. What can I do for you?\" Nothing is absolute or guaranteed, just like an earthquake today doesn't mean there will be earthquakes every day in the future, and encountering an attacking person today doesn't mean everyone you meet in the future will be attacking. See others, see yourself, see emotions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Eat a loss, gain wisdom. With more exposure to genuine and fake laughter, one can learn to differentiate between them. Avoiding situations entirely will not improve one's discernment ability and may result in missing out on sincere friendships. If you are unsure whether someone's behavior is genuine, try using a tit-for-tat strategy. Start by unconditionally trusting others, but if you get deceived, make sure to retaliate heavily (ensuring the other person suffers at least the same amount or more losses). If the other person initiates reconciliation, then give them another chance. In the long run, this will help create a low-cost trust environment around you, which is both reasonable and more likely to attract sincere individuals to your side.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11187
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I improve my energy and live a vibrant life when I frequently experience emotional fluctuations over minor things?",
        "description": "Often, there is a significant emotional fluctuation over small matters. After encountering something minor, I may get stuck in it for several days or even longer. Whenever I think about that thing later on, my mood becomes even more unpleasant. Is there any way to \"remove\" those negative emotions?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the condition where emotions fluctuate greatly over small matters and then linger for several days, or even longer, is known as being stuck in those emotions. The more one thinks about these matters, the more their mood worsens. They want to \"detach\" themselves from these emotions. First, let's understand what emotions are. Emotions are a collective term for a series of subjective cognitive experiences. They are a psychological activity mediated by individual desires and needs. They encompass an individual's attitude and experiences towards objective things, as well as corresponding behavioral reactions. In other words, emotions do not come out of nowhere. They are accompanied by an individual's desires, needs, attitudes, experiences, and behavioral reactions towards objective things. For example, if someone forgets their keys when leaving for work in the morning, they become very annoyed when they think about it. Why are they annoyed? Because they have a need: \"They want to go straight home after work, and forgetting their keys means they won't be able to enter their house when they finish work. They will need to bother the locksmith company, which is very inconvenient for them.\" However, if the person who forgets their keys in the morning lives with family members and there is always someone at home, will this matter of forgetting the keys still cause them to feel \"annoyed\"? Most likely not. Since there was no mention of specific small matters in the description, it is not possible to analyze and provide help. But you can think about what desires or wishes you have when these small matters provoke emotional fluctuations in you. Furthermore, the fluctuation of emotions allows us to see our own needs. When those needs are fulfilled, the emotions naturally disappear. However, in the description, you mentioned that emotional fluctuations make you stuck and unable to come out of them. Perhaps it is not the emotions that prevent you from coming out, but rather you are not willing to let yourself come out. Let's take the above-mentioned situation as an example: forgetting the keys when leaving for work in the morning. This matter originally caused the person to feel \"annoyed\" emotionally. However, instead of recognizing the reason for their annoyance, which is not having the keys to enter home, they end up thinking, \"I should have brought the keys. Forgetting the keys is because of my terrible memory. I blame myself for always being forgetful!\" This kind of thinking is also called rumination, which refers to the repeated and passive thinking about negative events, one's negative emotional state, and the potential causes and consequences of them. When they think about this matter, they start to blame and criticize themselves, falling into automatic thinking, and strengthening their negative emotions towards the negative event. So how can one escape from rumination and detach themselves from negative emotions? The answer lies in recognizing one's own needs, satisfying those needs, and finding positive meaning from negative events. For the person who forgets their keys, their need is to have a key to enter their home. So, what can they learn from forgetting the keys? They need a reminder to bring their keys or switch to a lock that doesn't require keys. Once the situation is resolved, will this matter still be a source of their troubles? Best regards, Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, good afternoon! I sense the emotional fluctuations deep within you, which may be a result of the accumulation of negative emotions reaching a certain level or a generally low psychological state, preventing you from achieving a sense of internal and external balance through personal efforts. As a result, seemingly minor incidents may trigger the eruption of negative emotions, making it difficult for you to resolve them in the short term. This state can be quite tormenting and distressing, creating a negative cycle. However, we must also recognize the positive starting point: you have realized the need to stop this current state promptly and gradually reverse or break free from this emotional loop through a positive cycle. From a psychoanalytic perspective, it may be necessary to trace the source of stress, that is, the initial factor, but this approach requires a relatively long-term commitment and cannot be explained in a few words. It necessitates mutual openness and honesty in a supportive environment. Aside from seeking psychological counseling, another option is to engage in activities such as support groups or discussions with close friends and family. By expressing your feelings, the accumulated negative emotions will be partially relieved. As the level of psychological stress decreases, self-regulation abilities, similar to immune response, will gradually adjust to a better state, allowing a formation of a positive cycle again. In terms of short-term cognitive therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), it provides targeted adjustments for anxiety or depressive emotions, resulting in a relatively quick decrease in stress. However, the downside is that an individual's thinking patterns cannot be fundamentally adjusted in the short term. Additionally, if other external factors, such as living or work environments, relationship patterns, etc., are not adjusted accordingly, there is a high possibility of reverting back to the previous state. It has a certain degree of rebound. In this regard, you can also learn from self-help books and courses. From the perspective of positive psychology, why not focus on your own strengths? By amplifying positive emotions and learning a sense of optimism, repeatedly reinforcing good habits that improve our mood and adjusting our mindset, we can refer to online psychological courses for specific techniques. In conclusion, I wish you well. Let's work together to heal the world!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, I hope the following answer can be helpful to you. I used to be a person who easily gets emotional, but my way of expression is being irritable and then feeling better after venting. As I grew older, gained more experiences, and explored myself deeply, I can now say that I am the master of my own emotions. Let me share my methods with you: 1. \"Accepting\" your emotions: When emotions arise, give yourself a hug first. We need to first recognize that being \"emotional\" is not wrong, and having \"negative emotions\" is not wrong either. It is certain that something triggered the known or unknown traumas within us, resulting in corresponding emotions. At this time, negative emotions are like a wounded child, they need to be seen and comforted by us. Giving yourself a hug is like giving a candy to this child. Then, it will happily play on its own. 2. \"Releasing\" your emotions: From your description, it seems that you tend to suppress your emotions and chew on them silently. I think emotions need an outlet, let them flow, and they won't trap you anymore. For example, you can try confiding in a good friend when you're not in a good mood; or go to a karaoke to sing; or write them down. Often, emotional energy can also be a form of creativity. Many poets and writers' works are products of their emotions. So, try to let your emotions flow, give them an outlet, and you will gain relaxation! 3. \"Redirecting\" the focus of emotional energy: In fact, being emotional is another aspect of having good sensitivity. Being easily emotional indicates that you are sensitive to the people and things around you, and it is easy to generate corresponding emotions. A person's emotional energy is limited. If you focus the energy on things that easily bring about negative emotions, then the energy available for things that can generate positive emotions will be reduced accordingly. Therefore, why not try to \"redirect\" your emotional energy? Focus on things that can make you feel beauty, joy, happiness, and other positive emotions. Friend, I hope the above suggestions are helpful to you. Let's become happy masters of our emotions together!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your concerns. When I was young, I used to feel this way often too. However, through learning and practice, I made significant changes. I would like to share my understanding with you, hoping it will inspire you. Awareness is the first step towards change. If we are unwilling to be troubled by minor emotional fluctuations and have the desire to develop in the direction we hope for, it will happen. The ABC theory of emotions was developed by American psychologist Ellis. A represents the triggering events, B represents the beliefs we form in response to these events, our interpretations and views about them. C represents the emotions and behaviors we generate as a result. You can try to recall what kind of events trigger your emotions and how you perceive them. Try looking at these events from different perspectives. For example, in the past, when a colleague showed a cold attitude towards me, I would feel unhappy and think maybe it was my fault. But now, I would think that perhaps they are busy or have other things going on in their life and did not consider their attitude towards me. This thought helps dissipate my unhappy emotions. I have also let go of the idea of constantly demanding how others should act. It is important to distinguish whose issue it is. If someone's behavior does bother me, even if they are really in the wrong, I reflect on what I can do myself. For example, if someone in the office does not pay attention to cleanliness and takes advantage of others, leading to others disliking them, I used to get angry when I told them about it, and they gave me all sorts of excuses. But I changed my thinking. We cannot change others, so I tried communicating and setting my own boundaries. I am no longer troubled by it. Furthermore, reading more books, learning, and improving oneself, loving and accepting oneself, and breaking through the limitations of our previous perceptions, trying to see things from a higher perspective, will give us completely different views than before. Lastly, I wish you well!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Frequently having mood swings over small matters, I think you might have a perfectionism complex. You demand perfection from yourself and others, and if even the tiniest thing or certain details don't meet your expectations, you dwell on it and can't move on. Is that the case? Much of our unhappiness actually stems from the various thoughts that swirl in our minds. We attach too much importance to these thoughts that are not necessarily true. These thoughts come from the input we received as children and have become ingrained thinking patterns. If you had strict or perfectionist parents who criticized you for any slight mistake, you are more likely to develop a perfectionist or obsessive-compulsive personality. You can't let go of things when it comes to dealing with people, situations, or yourself. Changing this is a long-term process. First, your awareness takes the first step. In the future, when you encounter similar events, you can examine what is truly bothering you and whether those things that are holding you back are small matters that can be let go. Secondly, write down those small matters on paper and analyze them one by one. See what emotions they bring and what you truly desire behind those emotions. Do your best to accomplish what you can and satisfy your needs that can be met, and rationalize the things you can't do well and the negative emotions. Thirdly, learn to confide in and seek support from family, friends, or mental health professionals, slowly releasing those small emotions and not allowing them to hold you captive. Perfection is a positive term, but demanding perfection excessively can be harmful to yourself and others. Don't force yourself to reach some high standard, just be true to yourself. Self-acceptance and self-joy are the most important. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello! Seeing your story about experiencing some small things and having strong and long-lasting emotional fluctuations troubles me. It makes me feel that your inner world is very sensitive and delicate, and you have high expectations for yourself and others in interpersonal relationships. You hope to break free from this vicious cycle and regain control of your emotions. Emotions are messengers, and the signals they want to convey require our exploration. Emotions are our attitude and reaction after our desires are fulfilled. They have polarity, and when our desires are fulfilled, positive and pleasant emotions may arise; when our desires are not fulfilled, negative and low spirits may arise. Emotions are like the flu, they are contagious. In our interactions with others, we are constantly being influenced by their emotions. Therefore, it is particularly important to clarify the boundaries between others' emotions and our own. When something happens in life and triggers negative emotions, it is necessary to pause and ask yourself: what is happening in my inner world right now? What is making me feel so upset? Recognizing and accepting your current emotions, reducing the reliance on others' evaluations of you, is the key to improving your emotional state. The power of reframing. Our emotions come from our cognition and thoughts, and our cognition affects the duration of our emotions. Changing our thoughts gives us the opportunity to change our emotions. I invite you to look at things from a more diverse perspective after encountering an event. This may broaden your horizons and change your mood. [Here are some self-help methods recommended for you] - Mindfulness meditation or mindfulness. Scientific studies have shown that people who practice mindfulness meditation regularly have increased secretion of happiness hormones (also known as stress-reducing hormones), such as dopamine and oxytocin. These two hormones play an important role in maintaining a calm state of mind and adjusting negative emotions. - Read books on emotional management. For example, Dr. Hailan's series of books on emotional management, such as \"Imperfection is Beauty,\" can help you understand the knowledge and methods of emotional management, allowing you to handle things with more composure. - Confide in and seek support from trusted friends. You can confide in your most intimate friends about your inner struggles and invite them to provide different perspectives and viewpoints, enhancing your ability for self-reflection. - You can also join or participate in personal growth groups or courses online or offline, allowing yourself to access a continuous social support system. I hope my humble advice can provide you with a little inspiration and help. I wish you the best state of emotions and a better life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your simple text description, it can be seen that you are thoughtful and sensitive. You often have strong emotional fluctuations over trivial matters, indicating that you care a lot about everything. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Although most of the negative emotions you described are caused by being trapped in small matters, it can also be understood that you have clear thinking about everything. The next time you encounter such a situation, you will be able to handle it better than before. As for how to \"pull out\" from those negative emotions, it is recommended to face them through mindfulness. In this way, all the unpleasant things will pass, and what else can affect your mood? It is also recommended to downplay the handling of things when encountering them. If it is not an urgent situation, you can slow down your pace, calm down, and then deal with the matter. In addition, you can expand your interests appropriately, have things that make you happy to do, enrich your life, gradually detach yourself from the negative emotions when facing events, and thereby enhance your own strength and enrich your life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! They often experience extreme mood swings over trivial matters. When something happens, they can get stuck in it for several days or even longer. Just thinking about it makes their mood even worse. It seems like the OP has been suppressing a lot of emotions, like a \"can of bottled emotions.\" Even a small external stimulus can trigger a powerful reaction, resulting in intense mood swings with significant differences in behavior. This means that deep inside the OP, there is already a \"powder keg\" filled with emotions. External stimuli are like the \"fuse.\" Although the powder doesn't explode when it ignites, it still has a strong impact, causing noticeable changes in the OP's psychological and emotional state. They have a significant amount of fluctuation in their emotions. When they encounter certain situations, they can be stuck in it for several days or even longer. This indirectly reflects the OP's struggle to cope with these emotional pressures. They need a long time to slowly digest and release the stress caused by these emotions and adjust their state of mind. However, this can also be understood. The OP's inner self is already filled with certain emotions, leaving no space to \"put in\" more energy to help cope with stress. So when they are trying to process the emotional stress caused by events, it's somewhat like \"squeezing toothpaste.\" As some space is squeezed out, the pressure in that space is released. At this point, their sense of self-empowerment can enter into this space. However, currently, their self-empowerment can only squeeze so much space and release so much emotional pressure. No more space can be squeezed or pressure released. And when the OP thinks about those things later, they feel even more uncomfortable. For their sense of self, making themselves uncomfortable can be seen as a need. In other words, their sense of self needs to make themselves \"uncomfortable.\" Only when they feel uncomfortable, their sense of self will feel \"comfortable.\" Perhaps it's a bit convoluted to say it like this, and the OP may find it hard to understand. In simpler terms, their sense of self needs to make themselves uncomfortable first, and then they will feel comfortable. And when they feel comfortable, their sense of self becomes uncomfortable. It's evident that there is a strong and obvious conflict between their conscious and subconscious selves. This can be seen from the OP's mention of \"finding ways to extract themselves from those negative emotions.\" It's clear that they assign value judgments of good and bad to their emotions, indicating that their inner self intensely pursues perfection and tends to be paranoid in thinking. They have a strong self-denial, rejection, and non-acceptance. This might be the core problem that's troubling the OP. Typically, such situations are related to the original family environment during their upbringing, especially the interaction and communication between the OP and their parents. The OP's symptoms seem to show signs of neurosis. To confirm this conclusively, further detailed information is required. The OP can consider making an appointment with a suitable therapist to undergo systematic psychological counseling in order to release the emotional pressure within, resolve their issues, and face life with ease and naturalness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I understand your feelings very well. Virtual hugs to you~ One crucial aspect that affects our accumulation of positive energy is whether we often experience \"internal mental conflict\". Learning, work, and socializing all require our physical and emotional reserves as support. However, when we focus too much on inner struggles, it can lead to emotional exhaustion even before achieving any success. For example, when someone doesn't reply to our message promptly, we may start thinking a lot, wondering if they dislike us or if we did something wrong. Or when we go out to eat, we may spend a long time agonizing over which restaurant or which dishes to choose. Or when we fail to meet a certain goal, we start thinking about all the things we've experienced in the past, feeling inadequate. The more time we waste on such unimportant matters, imagining worst-case scenarios and consequences, the more our internal energy is gradually depleted. Therefore, avoiding this kind of emotional drain is a good way to improve our inner energy. As you mentioned, you get emotional fluctuations over small matters, so we should also learn how to decisively deal with small matters. Because for similar things, no matter how we choose or what decisions we make, they won't have a significant impact on our lives. For example, whether to brush teeth before washing the face in the morning, or wash the face before brushing teeth. Don't hesitate, just follow your heart. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5576
       },
       {
        "question": "Remarriage, my husband is not very accepting of my son who is from a previous marriage, what should I do?",
        "description": "I am a second-time married woman. My son lives with his father after the divorce. After the divorce, I got married to someone who has good unmarried conditions. He treats me well. Recently, my son came back to the city where I live with his father. I often pick him up on weekends. At first, my husband lived in a separate house when my child came, but later, after arguing with me, he agreed to live together. Last week, he even took care of the child himself. However, this week, my mother came, and he suddenly changed his attitude. He seems unhappy and no longer accepts it! I don't know if he dislikes my mother or my child! This situation will definitely become normal in the future. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. According to your sharing, this is a problem of unequal needs. This phenomenon may indicate that in his mind, your child is just your child, and marrying you means accepting you, not accepting others. Marriage means accepting everything about each other. If this is how you think, what about him? It might be a good idea to find a time to have an honest conversation with him, understand his purpose in getting married, and tell him your purpose, expressing each other's needs clearly. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! First of all, I feel that you are actively striving to make your marriage, children, and parents smoothly. Currently, there have been changes in your life and marriage. Your children and parents are now involved in your new married life, and your husband is gradually adapting. It takes time and space, and you also understand that. Both of you are actively working towards a better life. Even if there are times when your emotions fluctuate and you can't handle it on your own, it shows that you need time to blend and integrate. Acceptance, patience, and communication are important in gradually reaching a consensus.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9355
       },
       {
        "question": "\"Why am I so useless? Why do I start crying whenever I get angry?\"",
        "description": "Although I was furious and wanted to scold the other person, I couldn't hold back my tears before I even spoke. It's really pathetic. How can I stop myself from crying when I'm angry?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Is the main reason for your tears due to feeling wronged? If you are very angry about the other person's behavior or words, you can take some time alone to calm down and reflect on why you are so angry. Is there something that you need that has not been fulfilled? What is causing you to feel hurt, which is why you are angry? Once you understand your true feelings and needs, you can then go back and not blame the person, as it will only make them angry too. Talk to the person about why you feel sad/unhappy/uncomfortable because of something, express your feelings, and explain what you want them to do. Communicate effectively and see if they can understand, try to make the other person understand your true emotions and needs.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5543
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does my girlfriend deliberately dress provocatively? How can I change her?",
        "description": "My girlfriend is in her sophomore year. She is good-looking and has a good figure, but she is quite introverted. However, she always dresses in a revealing way, with backless, shoulder-baring, and midriff-exposing clothes. She even intentionally wears super short skirts and low-cut tops that could easily lead to wardrobe malfunctions. If it were just because of the hot weather in summer or occasionally for the sake of looking good, I could let it slide. But she dresses like this every day in summer, and even in winter, she wears revealing clothes underneath and takes off her outerwear when indoors. I have only seen her wear non-revealing clothes in formal occasions, and she changes immediately afterward. She even likes to take pictures of herself in revealing clothes and share them with others. She says she feels restricted and suppressed when wearing non-revealing clothes and gets uncomfortable if she doesn't show some skin. She started wearing revealing clothes when she was in primary school, and since then, she has become more and more accustomed to it, developing a strong aversion to non-revealing clothes to the point where she feels she must show skin. Why is this? I don't want to interfere with her freedom to dress, but from a safety perspective and considering her future in society, she should get used to wearing non-revealing clothes. How can I change her?",
        "keywords": "Love, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I read your question carefully and from it, I can sense that you feel conflicted and distressed about your girlfriend's clothing choices. On one hand, you are concerned about the safety risks that come with her revealing clothing, but on the other hand, you don't want to interfere with someone's freedom of dressing. So, how should we approach this issue? [Considering that dress style reflects one's inner personality, it is difficult for personality traits to change quickly] From a psychological perspective, dress style is an outward expression of one's inner personality traits. Conservative or open clothing is a form of implicit psychological language that hints at one's preferred communication style in interpersonal relationships. Generally speaking, people who dress conservatively tend to have introverted and reserved personalities, and they tend to passively cope with interpersonal relationships. On the other hand, people who dress more provocatively tend to have extroverted personalities and take a more proactive approach in interpersonal interactions. Therefore, from this perspective, dress style is closely related to personality traits, and unless there are special significant events, it is unlikely to change in the short term. As a boyfriend, I suggest that you focus on preparing for safety concerns and respecting personal privacy. As for her views on clothing when she enters society, perhaps encountering unforeseen circumstances may change her perspective on dress. [Consider whether there may be underlying trauma causing the \"compulsive behavior\" of revealing clothing] In your question, I noticed that your girlfriend has an introverted personality, yet she dresses in a very revealing manner, which contradicts our conventional understanding that clothing reflects one's degree of openness. Additionally, you mentioned that she can't help but wear such clothes on various occasions and feels uncomfortable if she doesn't, even going to great lengths to wear them in winter. These behaviors seem to have a certain compulsive tendency, where dressing up is no longer about feeling happy and joyful, but rather appears to be a way to escape from uncomfortable feelings. Of course, this aspect needs further guidance from a professional psychology teacher. Perhaps behind her dressing style, there may be some past traumatic experiences. I hope the above response is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think this is a very good question, which is a problem that many people can resonate with. I'm sure you're also very conflicted. First, let's summarize the problem as I see it. First, you, the questioner, are a male with a girlfriend who is a sophomore. Second, your girlfriend has a good figure and appearance but has an introverted personality and dresses revealingly. Third, her choice of clothing is causing you some confusion. Fourth, she is very resistant to wearing clothes that are not revealing. Fifth, you want to know how to change her. Now, let me analyze and give my understanding of the situation. First, according to the question, your girlfriend has had this style since primary school, which means she was already like this before you met her. But you still chose her to be your girlfriend, so how did you think back then? Second, the whole question is about her having a habit that you think is not good and you want her to change, but she can't. This is similar to smoking, drinking, or staying up late. These habits are not good for the body, and we hope the other person can change. Surface-level, it seems like we are doing it for their own good, but they really can't change. What should we do? First, I think the harm may not be that great. In many cases, this habit may not cause her much harm. She hasn't been freezing or harassed, and the reasons you mentioned seem to be imagined. In fact, she hasn't experienced any harm. Furthermore, who is the most uncomfortable person in this situation? It's you, not her. What can you do if you feel uncomfortable? There are two ways: you can change or she can change. You chose to make her change so you can get what you want without changing yourself. Do you think this is good for her? Third, why are you so uncomfortable? When you chose her initially, it should have been because you liked everything about her. If not, then it's your problem. If it is, then it's still your problem that you now want her to change. So when did your discomfort start and why does it exist? From your question, you think your demands are reasonable, but it seems like a defense mechanism called \"rationalization\" in psychology. Simply put, it means thinking that your views are reasonable and your discomfort is also reasonable. This is called a defense mechanism because if you don't think this way, you will make different discoveries and trigger even greater discomfort. For example, if you think your demands are unreasonable and she is right, what would happen? That would mean you are controlling, and only someone who doesn't feel secure inside would want to control the outside world. So where does this lack of inner security come from? Many of them come from painful memories, especially from the original family. So, have you ever had similar feelings in your past life? These feelings must be even more uncomfortable. In order to prevent these feelings from coming out, you must find a way to suppress them layer by layer. Of course, this is just my experience, and the specific situation needs to be explored. Fourth, there was an episode of the show \"Qi Pashuo\" where they discussed whether or not girlfriends should wear hot pants. One of the debaters used a quote from the Shenzhen Public Security Bureau that I think is very good. It goes like this: \"You can wear all the pretty skirts you want, and we'll catch the perverts.\" Fifth, in fact, I think your girlfriend knows the reasons you mentioned, but she must have her own reasons for not wanting to dress less revealingly. If you can find a way for her to achieve her goals without exposing herself, I think she would be willing to change. If not, it might be more difficult. After all, it's not easy to change yourself, let alone change others. Now, here are a few suggestions for you: First, if you're willing, you can both see a therapist together. If you can communicate with each other, that's even better. Second, the world of men and women is different, so try to understand each other more and maybe there will be fewer conflicts. Third, you can try meditation, there are good resources on the Meditation Planet, you both can give it a try. I hope my answer can be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that you are really nervous about this issue of revealing clothing. On one hand, you say that you don't want to interfere with her freedom to dress, but on the other hand, you want to change her. \u25b6\ufe0fLook at your insecurity, as you said, she is attractive and has a good figure, she is young and vibrant. Perhaps she is not good with words, but she constantly expresses and presents herself to the world through her clothing. She desires to be seen and acknowledged. Your girlfriend is not irrational. She knows how to dress appropriately for formal occasions. So when you criticize her for dressing \"revealing,\" I would like you to consider the following points:\u2460 How do her reveals make you feel? Do you believe that your girlfriend's body is her \"private property\" and should not be shown casually? Before she became your girlfriend, you could appreciate other girls who dressed \"revealing,\" but if your girlfriend does the same, it is somehow disrespectful and violating? Do you have certain values in your heart that believe how a girlfriend or wife should be? Please consider whether you are willing to compromise these values for a better relationship. You can also have a serious conversation with your girlfriend about this issue and see if she is willing to make some compromises. \u3010Behind every value we choose, there are our own fears and expectations. There is no right or wrong. When the values of two people in a relationship conflict, please ask yourself, do you choose to be right or choose to be happy?\u3011\u2461 Can you let go of your uneasiness and see that girlfriend who desires affirmation, praise, and admiration? Maybe she unconsciously sought attention through clothing since childhood, and there may be her own reasons behind it. \u3010Please do not use analytical speculations to justify your desire to control and persuade her.\u3011 Understand that \u3010you cannot make someone change;\u3011 furthermore, do not try to convince others to change through various \"clever\" methods. As a boyfriend, the only thing you can do is provide support, acceptance, and understanding. You need to see the little girl hidden in your girlfriend's heart who desires to be the center of attention, that's it.\u2462 When communicating your uneasiness, try not to use love as a means of restraint. Do not try to deny the legitimacy of her clothing choices with fancy justifications or directly label them as \"revealing.\" You can directly\u3010 express your jealousy and uneasiness \u3011, let her see your vulnerable side, and see if expressing yourself in this way can warm up your relationship. When the emotional connection deepens, you will understand her better, and maybe she will change, and perhaps you will no longer be critical and persistent. \u25b6\ufe0fFinally, I wish you to let go of this sweet burden as soon as possible\ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can see that you have anxiety about your girlfriend wearing revealing clothes. \ud83e\udd291: We should respect everyone's right to express themselves, whether it's through language, clothing, or behavior. If they are not harming others or disrupting public order, they are allowed to do so. \ud83e\udd29 2: I understand the conflict you described - she is an introverted person, but she expresses herself in a very extroverted and open manner through her revealing clothing. We need to understand what is the truth behind her introverted nature and her openness? What does she gain from being exposed or naked? What does her inner self gain from this? What does her body gain from it? And what is the starting point of the conflict between this open nudity and her conservative nature? \ud83e\udd29 3: Also, we need to ask you, what attracted you to this girl in revealing clothing and how did she become your girlfriend? How did you go from accepting her exposure to resenting it? What happened in between? Is conservative dressing your expectation or hers? \ud83e\udd29 4: She started the path of exposure clothing since elementary school, so what was the trigger for her to start wearing revealing clothes back then? What happened at that time? How did it escalate from starting to engage with such clothing to becoming addicted to it? \ud83e\udd29 5: She doesn't have exhibitionism, we need to define this clearly first, so that you don't perceive her as a sick person or label her, because she is aware that in important public settings, formal attire is required, and she knows to wear a coat in winter. If this issue is causing a significant impact and distress for both of you, I recommend seeking a hypnotherapist to help you both understand the motivation behind her desire to expose herself and what motivates you to prevent her from doing so. I recommend the book \"Saying Yes to Life.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello! I understand your dilemma. Your girlfriend dresses provocatively and you don't want to interfere, but you feel she should dress more conservatively and want to change her. What I want to tell you is: first, let go of the idea of changing her. I believe you genuinely care for her in this matter, looking out for her safety and considering her future in society. However, there must be an underlying subconscious desire for her to dress this way. For example, she may feel liberated and beautiful, using her clothing as a form of self-expression. Dressing up is a highly effective means of showcasing one's personality. Nowadays, many people prefer their outfits to be unique and stand out. The psychology behind rebellious dressing reflects a strong emotional factor, displaying a radical way of dressing that expresses one's individuality. When you wear a certain style of clothing, it can change your inner self and how you present yourself in daily life. Your girlfriend wearing revealing clothes may be a way of expressing herself because she may be more introverted and wants to portray a more extroverted and cheerful image. The understanding of clothing cognition provides a scientific basis. When we dress, we should focus on the feeling we want rather than our current feelings as a standard. Which clothes can make us feel confident, sexy, in control, or wealthy? The clothing we choose conveys a message to the people around us and also to ourselves. Everyone has different perspectives on a particular issue. In the West, revealing clothing is very common, while in the East, it tends to be more conservative. For your girlfriend, perhaps she experienced some form of suppression during her upbringing, which makes her want to dress more boldly. And she has become accustomed to this dressing style. Women have the freedom to dress, and you can share your views, such as dressing appropriately for different occasions and locations. When she enters the workplace in the future, dressing appropriately will be more important than dressing beautifully. Therefore, try to gradually influence her rather than change her. You can also try to explore with her, why does she dress this way? Are there other reasons besides not wanting to be restricted? Does she feel insecure? And so on. Often, when we let go of the mentality of changing the other person, they feel at ease to be themselves, both in your presence and in their own hearts, and their way of dressing may no longer be a problem. For example, if she wants compliments, compliment her as a person rather than her clothes. If she wants attention, give her the attention she desires. Additionally, you can also express to her that you value elegance, modesty, and refinement, and this may subtly influence her clothing choices. In doing so, you may also change, and this issue may no longer be a cause of distress. Finally, I wish you the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, it is not necessarily wrong for a young girl to show off her figure and appearance. Moreover, it seems that she knows to dress \"modestly\" in formal occasions, which means she still understands social norms. From one perspective, she craves attention from others and likes to be the center of attention. From an inner feeling, she may feel that she hasn't received enough attention. You mentioned that she is \"introverted,\" which seems contradictory to her revealing clothing. She may not know how to establish deep connections with others in alternative ways, so she uses an impactful external expression to quickly connect with others. From your perspective, choosing a girlfriend like this may also indirectly indicate that you also need attention, but your need is fulfilled through your girlfriend. You can reflect on this aspect. Best wishes. Rongxin Psychology, Liu Mi.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello on Sunday night! The first question I want to ask is related to your question, which is, what qualities of your girlfriend initially attracted you? Is it related to her revealing clothing? In this question, the issue of your girlfriend wearing revealing clothing is more like a sociological problem, while your inability to accept her revealing clothing is more like an individual psychological problem. Your thinking needs to be based on more understanding and empathy. In your question, you have already explained why your girlfriend chooses to wear revealing clothes, and a big part of it is habit, right? Without any judgment, let's look at this habit. Your girlfriend still dresses professionally for formal occasions and sensibly wears a coat when it's cold outside. We need to further understand why we are so concerned about our girlfriend's revealing clothing. The premise of changing her is enough respect for each other and enough self-understanding, and using sufficient understanding, care, and love to have non-violent communication with each other. If we fulfill our obligations and communicate responsibly, and the other party still doesn't want to change, then we need to respect their opinion, just as you said, \"I don't want to interfere with someone's freedom to dress.\" Since your girlfriend has already given what she believes to be a reasonable explanation, our focus should shift back to our own cognition. If it's because we're afraid of the harmful people in society who might harm those who wear revealing clothing, we need to first build confidence that a girlfriend who knows to wear a coat when it's cold or dress formally for formal occasions will have self-protection instincts. I hope this inspires and helps you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4811
       },
       {
        "question": "29 years old, after having a pleasant time with my boyfriend, we often end up having big arguments. What's going on?",
        "description": "My partner and I get along fine most of the time, relatively calm, but we often have big fights after getting along very well, and it's always me who starts it. For example, last night we didn't cook, we ordered takeout, enjoyed a delicious meal, and both of us were very happy. But during breakfast today, we ended up having a big argument over a small matter. When I calm down, I realize that every time we have a pleasant time together, we inevitably end up fighting, and I am the one who starts the war. I can't figure out why I do this. In my upbringing, my family was often in turmoil, my parents often fought, and my brother and I often fought as well, but back then I was always provoked by my brother. Parents and children also often had conflicts, and our family of four was very chaotic. Our noisy and peaceful states were exactly the opposite of other families, and peaceful harmony was rare in my memory. Why am I doing this now, unconsciously starting a fight after a pleasant time with my partner? Am I not allowing myself to have a good life? Does my subconscious feel that a harmonious and happy life does not belong to me? Do I want to ruin it? How can I find the specific reasons for doing this, I want to solve this problem! Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Love, arguments, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading the description, I realized that we don't always start arguing when we are getting along, but rather, we don't use a gentler approach to resolve our anger. 1. The way our family interacts has made arguing the norm. Due to the influence of our original family, it's difficult for us to communicate effectively. Any issues are always resolved through arguments, especially when it becomes a habit. Subconsciously, we avoid positive communication. I have tried to communicate calmly with them, but their responses are difficult to understand, which reignites my anger and makes me reluctant to communicate with them. It's the same when I interact with my partner. We don't want to back down, while the other person may not want to argue, but rather explain things to us. However, in our irrational state, we fail to realize this. We just want to be comforted rather than hear a bunch of reasoning, leading to another argument. 2. I've recognized my own issues and learned to calm my emotions. Subconsciously, we use arguments as a way to protect ourselves, so that we won't be taken advantage of. However, our partner is not our family, and they try to resolve problems in a more peaceful manner. Therefore, we need to let go of our defensive facade. If every time we argue, our partner tries to convince us with reasoning, we can tell them if they can refrain from doing so for a while. They can give us a chance to vent or just give us a simple hug. We can let them know that we don't actually want to argue, but that we need to gradually change some of our habits, and we hope they can give us more time. At the same time, we should also reassure our partner afterwards, telling them that when we are angry, we need to be comforted. However, we need to set boundaries and not demand that they always give in. Respect should be mutual. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! When I saw this title, it made me think of my own relationship with my boyfriend. We have a great time together, but sometimes I would pick a fight with him over a small disagreement and blow it out of proportion, leading to arguments. After every argument, I would reflect on why we fought in the first place. Most of the time, I realized that we were just arguing for the sake of arguing. Maybe it's because life feels too ordinary, and we need some ups and downs to spice things up a bit (laughs). So, first of all, you can ask yourself why you argue. Is there really a conflict or are you just used to arguing? It's good to see that you have self-awareness and recognize the pattern of arguing in your family. Childhood experiences have a significant impact on one's personality and interpersonal relationships. The family is the earliest classroom, and parents are the earliest teachers. If you grew up in a \"turbulent\" environment, it might be ingrained in your subconscious that connections with others are formed through arguing. (While others have peaceful and harmonious relationships within their families, yours is established through arguments and fights, and even expresses \"affection\" through these means.) Indeed, arguing can be a way to establish connections. During arguments, everyone can express their inner anger and expose themselves, effectively making the other person understand them. However, you don't want to establish connections through arguing, right? You want to have a harmonious and happy life. \"Wanting\" to change is the most important step towards change. I suggest you first communicate with your boyfriend, tell him about your childhood family environment and your self-reflections after every argument, and listen to his thoughts. You can say something like, \"Every time we argue, I reflect and realize that it's always me who starts it. I don't want to argue, but maybe I don't know how to build intimate relationships peacefully. My parents and my siblings used to argue all the time, and I disliked it but also got used to it, which unintentionally made me become like them.\" At the same time, I also wonder if you have a lot of insecurity that makes you worry that the happy and peaceful environment will disappear and something bad will happen. The more you worry, the more likely it is to happen, so your subconscious leads you to \"create conflicts.\" Ask yourself, what are you really afraid of behind these arguments? Once you identify the problem, invite your boyfriend to help you overcome it and gain more security.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are wondering if you are unable to have a harmonious life, as if scenes from your childhood are replaying themselves. But in my view, you are seeking healing. Life is like a mirror, sometimes childhood and adulthood reflect each other, sometimes oneself and others reflect each other. But all reflections are because we are not enough yet, not enough because true traumas have not been healed, not satisfied yet. Experiences will always replay, sometimes from different perspectives. It's just because we still have unresolved issues inside us, that we want to understand, understand a bit more. That's how the mind works. When it fully understands, becomes clear, it will say, \"That's enough, it's good, this is it.\" But before that, it will create many opportunities for itself to have repeated experiences. The solution is, you can have a good talk with your boyfriend, not necessarily about your past, but about the psychological processes you both go through during arguments. It helps strengthen clear experiences and bring satisfaction earlier. Of course, you can also find a counselor and reenact your psychological processes, which allows for a more comprehensive, multi-dimensional observation and understanding of yourself, so that you can say \"this is it\" earlier. Today is your cuckoo, pay attention, let's together see the state of the mind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There is a lifestyle called \"sadomasochism\" where they coexist like a pair of twins. Psychoanalytic psychodynamics mainly reveal how \"past events influence the present.\" The past was tumultuous, that was the experienced one, whether it was the older brother who inflicted pain or the parents, or oneself who endured it. In fact, the inner self has already accepted this pattern, and calmness will make those accustomed to this habit uncomfortable. There are both disadvantages and advantages to not being accustomed to inflicting pain \u2013 it gives a sense of control, a feeling of superiority! Just like the feeling the older brother had back then, when there was no power, becoming like that perhaps was a childhood dream, and now there is a chance to fulfill it!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are very good at making associations. When you were young, there were more arguments than peace in your family. Now, if your own small family is too harmonious and pleasant, it is different from your family before. Therefore, you want to stir up trouble and revisit the scene of arguments that you are familiar with. People can only truly experience the original \"flavor\" in familiar situations. By the way, let your partner know that you used to always be the one provoked, but now you finally have the opportunity to be the one provoking, bringing them into your camp. The above may not be the real reason, but if you don't want to argue, tell your partner that you agree to a rule where as long as one party calls for a stop during an argument, the other party must agree. Give this a try, and maybe you can gradually establish your own family atmosphere.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This type of \"invisible crisis anxiety\" is generally formed as a result of early family environment, and it cannot be sorted out simply through communication with your husband, nor can it be attributed to a problem of organizing logical thinking. Based on your personal birth date and registered photo, I can provide you with effective solutions combining modern psychology. Stay strong! Good luck to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3624
       },
       {
        "question": "I am in the third year of high school. I have no motivation to study and cannot make progress. What should I do?",
        "description": "This is a critical moment of survival or extinction. I am studying at a top high school in my province, but I feel like I haven't done much in the past two years. Now I feel a bit tired of studying (I felt the same before), and the benefits of studying don't really inspire me that much!! I'm really anxious myself (maybe feeling guilty), and I've realized that I think I have some unique qualities (like the potential to be awesome) but also a bit arrogant. I've tried many methods, but they haven't been very effective (maybe because my execution ability is not enough, but I have tried). It's really hard for me to fully invest myself and I feel uncomfortable when I try to do it. Thank you all for your help. I hope to receive your advice.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from the description, it is clear that the original poster is currently feeling confused and encountering difficulties in their studies. I hope that my response and personal experience can help you. 1. Before discussing the present, let's not talk about the past two years when you felt you didn't accomplish much. It can be seen that your mindset is still good; at least you're not wasting your time and understand the principle of being unable to change the past. As a soon-to-be senior high school student in a prestigious school, apart from realizing that you need to seize the present, you also need to understand the following: 1) your starting point is higher than others. Although you feel tired of studying (even in the past), the benefits of studying don't have much impact on you! Having a higher starting point is your advantage, but it can also become your disadvantage. You mentioned that the benefits of studying don't have much impact on you, so let me talk about the disadvantages of not studying.  #If you choose comfort at a crucial age for striving, you might not have to endure the hardship of studying now, but in the future, you'll have to endure the hardships of life, and these hardships come with high interest rates. The later you endure them, the more bitter they will be. #Furthermore, not striving means that your performance in next year's college entrance examination may not reach your initial expectations when you entered high school, causing others and even yourself to feel disappointed. Do you want that? #Finally, do you not feel jealous and regretful seeing friends who previously didn't perform as well as you and couldn't enter a prestigious high school, but then scored better than you in the college entrance examination and got into a better university? If you don't know what you want, you might as well think about what you don't want. This way, you may find the source of motivation that resonates with you! 2. It's more fearful to pretend to strive than to not strive at all. You need to find a study method that suits you. Maybe you didn't work hard enough in the first two years of high school, but as long as the college entrance examination hasn't arrived, you still have a chance to start over. You might want to think about when is the best time for you to study, concentrate during that time, and keep a clear mind. Don't force yourself to study blindly, as it may seem like you're serious, but it's actually inefficient self-deception. It doesn't benefit your learning and may decrease your motivation and confidence due to a lack of progress. Don't worry, think about what kind of results you want to achieve in the college entrance examination, consider the distance between you and the university you desire, identify your weak and strong subjects, and once you have a clear understanding, make a plan for yourself and start again! There's still time for everything! Finally, I'll leave you with a saying that I stuck on my desk during the college entrance examination: \"There is nothing difficult in the world, only those who can overcome hardships will find joy in life.\" Wishing you success in the college entrance examination!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the summary of the problems you mentioned are as follows: 1. You dislike studying, both in the past and present. 2. You believe that the benefits of studying are not significant and lack motivation, but now you feel guilty and anxious about your current situation. 3. You have a somewhat arrogant personality and feel unique. 4. You have tried various methods but ultimately failed, and you also struggle with lack of discipline. Here are some suggestions I can offer: \u25bc Overcoming your dislike for studying and suddenly developing a love for it is a difficult task. However, you can start by accepting it more openly and not rejecting it. For example, when solving a problem, approach it as if it were a game or a challenge. Each difficult question you successfully tackle will give you a sense of accomplishment. \u25bc Recognize the benefits of studying by setting clear goals for yourself, such as getting into a specific university or pursuing a particular profession. Once you have defined your goals, you will realize that achieving them requires dedicated studying. You can also seek out friends who have attended university and listen to their experiences, discovering how different the learning experience can be at prestigious institutions. (It's important not to assume that all universities are the same, based on my personal experience. After not performing well on the college entrance examination, I attended a vocational college. However, after interacting with bachelor's degree students, I discovered many differences and realized how outstanding they were. Their achievements motivated me to pursue a bachelor's degree as well.) \u25bc While it's good to acknowledge that you consider yourself unique, it's even better to recognize your weaknesses because it provides an opportunity for improvement. Although you dislike studying, attending a prestigious high school indicates that your academic performance is not poor, and you possess some confidence. However, it's important to be humble and seek help when encountering unfamiliar topics. In your daily life, try toning down your arrogant personality. \u25bc You mentioned that you have tried different methods, but often failed and lack discipline. The fact that you have attempted different approaches shows that you want to change, and your willingness to embrace failure is admirable. Persistence is challenging for everyone. Many people enthusiastically create study plans but struggle to stick to them. If you lack discipline, seek assistance from others, or collaborate with someone who has similar academic achievements. Challenge each other, discuss difficult problems, and support one another to progress together. Finally, I wish you happiness every day, smooth learning, and continuous improvement.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! OP, after reading what you wrote, I feel like you might be struggling with studying. Here are my thoughts, and I hope they can help you. Being confident is not a bad thing. In the text, I noticed that you mentioned that you tend to boast but lack the ability to follow through. It's normal for people to like boasting, and it can be a fun thing to do sometimes. Don't feel troubled by it. When it comes to being disciplined, you need to have direction and set goals. Set a time frame to complete a task, and make sure you don't procrastinate. Have confidence in yourself and follow your own plan. Learn to take notes and write down your thoughts and goals, both short-term and long-term. Then, gradually work towards achieving them according to what you've written. When you realize that you've accomplished a lot at the end of each day, you'll feel fulfilled and motivated, and your ability to follow through will improve. Believe in yourself and believe that you can succeed. Don't be afraid to take things one step at a time and make progress gradually. When you work hard and inspire yourself, you will realize that you have already achieved success. I understand the pressure of the college entrance examination. It's truly brutal. It feels like crossing a narrow bridge amidst thousands of competitors. Getting into a good university really means accessing a different learning environment. So, as a high school senior, your focus should be on studying well for the college entrance examination. Don't let your senior year leave you with any regrets. Strive to get into a university that you like. Embrace life, do what makes you happy, and turn life into a source of joy. Live with confidence. Lastly, I believe that you will overcome your confusion and become even more confident! Hehe.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hug hug! One thing I can relate to is that I also felt somewhat unique during high school. However, many facts have proven that \"the more capable a person is, the more humble they tend to be\". My previous arrogance taught me a lesson about repeating a grade. As someone who has been through it, I hope you can learn from my negative example and not make the same mistake. Reflecting on myself, I am now about to enter my sophomore year of college and I haven't fully achieved the humble and considerate qualities of the outstanding seniors. But as someone who has gone through it, I can tell you that \"hard work doesn't always guarantee success, but without hard work, you won't achieve anything\". When I was about to enter my senior year of high school, I lacked motivation. Even though I didn't fail the exams, my performance wasn't ideal, and repeating a year gave me the motivation I needed. One reason was the \"inspiring success stories and motivational articles on Zhihu\". I would read them every now and then, and after reading, I would have a feeling of \"successful people are all working hard, so why should I settle for mediocrity?\", and then I would fully immerse myself in studying. Another reason was \"setting a goal for a university\". While I was preparing for exams, I had a picture of the university I aspired to on my desk. Even when I was tired and sleepy in class, I wouldn't dare to sleep when I saw the picture. Later on, even though I still haven't achieved my goal, I can honestly say that I gave it my all, and now I'm moving towards that university with the goal of taking the postgraduate entrance exams. It doesn't matter if the road is long, as long as you keep going, you will eventually reach your destination.\ufe34A pearl will not be covered in dust forever. Before that, it is important to \"have a correct understanding of oneself\". Analyzing oneself requires great courage, facing one's strengths and weaknesses, regularly recalling and even listing the efforts made in the past, and seeing if one has truly \"absorbed\" the knowledge rather than just superficially learning it. This is crucial in order to promptly correct one's study methods and attitudes and ensure that one's efforts yield results. \"Self-control and discipline\" are also important. Without self-discipline (including regular sleep schedule, healthy diet, etc.), efforts can easily be wasted. If one cannot discipline oneself, then \"forced discipline\" can be implemented (by deleting entertainment apps on the phone or handing over the phone, computer, or tablet to a reliable person, using it at scheduled times and in controlled amounts), creating a clean and focused study environment. Is it important to get into a good college? Yes, it is. Does it determine one's entire life? Absolutely not. It can only influence the speed and path to \"success\". The ultimate determining factors in life are one's own choices and attitude. Don't stress too much; as long as you have no regrets, that's what matters. Do you understand what kind of person you want to become in the future? \"When the heart is set, one can traverse any path\". Let us encourage each other. I hope you will eventually achieve your wishes and \"enjoy the blossoms of Chang'an in a day\".",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Seeing your question, I can feel your distress and anxiety. The fact that you are in a prestigious high school shows that you are a very capable student, which makes me feel a sense of familiarity because I have been teaching the top 10% of students in a prestigious high school. This year, I am focusing on researching the factors that influence students' learning motivation. From your description, I can see that you have a tendency to underestimate your achievements in the past two years. You also mentioned feeling somewhat unique (like a potential genius) and a bit arrogant. There is a belief that intelligent people don't need to work hard, and diligent effort is a sign of foolishness. Do you agree with this belief? If you do, please think seriously about whether it is correct. If not, that's great because you understand that learning requires effort. Regardless of the past, here are a few suggestions for you to seriously consider: think about why you are studying, or in other words, why you want to study? When you can't figure out the answer to this question, your motivation will often be lacking. If you really can't figure it out, try to force yourself to study. Set up a study plan, force yourself to start taking action, and use your efforts to exchange for good results. Reward yourself with positive results. Also, consider talking to a professional psychologist to see if you have any irrational beliefs. Irrational beliefs often lead to wrong actions, which in turn lead to academic failures and a lack of enjoyment in learning, resulting in a lack of motivation. However, it is fortunate that you want to study hard and seek help here, which clearly shows your determination. A professional psychologist will be able to assist you. I wish you the strength to find your way and set sail!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "You set the bar too high for yourself. Please make sure to read it all. Although the words may be harsh, please remove the thorn in your heart. After all, you are an ordinary person, just like me. I am not worthy, but those big shots are. We should be like those big shots, oblivious to outside matters, and focus only on reading sage books. I can do it too, but I don't want to. What if I work as hard as them but don't achieve the same level of success? Can I, who is so proud, accept setbacks? What should I do? My parents put so much pressure on me, and I don't want them to feel guilty for my poor academic performance. What should I do? Well, I really understand your feelings and sense of guilt (not a typo, the person who builds their own prison is ourselves, and it's not someone else who traps us, but ourselves). Understood! Actually, being called a big shot is quite delightful, hehehehehehe. You are also a super big shot. Big shot, how do you feel when you see someone better than you? Do you feel inferior to them? Have you really understood the feelings you had when you were not doing well in your studies and were looked down upon by others? Have you truly accepted the fact that your journey to success was not easy, rather than humiliating? Have you truly faced and valued your emotions? Have you asked your heart if you really don't want to study? Is it really because you cannot achieve what you want? Actually, that's not true. What troubles you is not just peer pressure, right? It's the feeling of not being the top student that you have always overlooked, isn't it? Is it the guilt of hurting others with the arrogance that should be displayed when you were one of the best students, under the constant praise of teachers and the scrutiny of others? You have never forgiven yourself, forgiven others for looking down on you when you were not outstanding yet. You have never forgiven yourself, forgiven yourself for the shortcomings and mockery you faced on your journey towards improvement. Have you not forgiven yourself for not experiencing the same things as others and not empathizing with them? Have you not forgiven yourself for disregarding the emotions that you kept ignoring during that desperate time? You have never forgiven yourself, forgiven others for their arrogance when they excel, which is why you have always hated or even despised such arrogance. But you dare not truly face your own vulnerability and the guilt behind that arrogance. I truly understand your feelings, and I believe many students can deeply empathize with you because they have experienced similar struggles. The pain of doing well in academics and the pain of not doing well are certainly not the \"responsibility\" borne by you alone. Often, we say we have a lot of pressure, a huge burden. But actually, this burden, this pressure, is the counteraction imposed by us. It is the emotions and difficulties that we keep ignoring and dare not admit. Because we believe that with our weak emotions and bodies, how can we survive in the \"great outdoors\"? We can only grow little by little in a greenhouse, where people keep adding fertilizer. We can only rely on this soil, this plastic greenhouse to grow. How can some flowers grow better than us in the wilderness? Why aren't these flowers yearning to live outside the greenhouse? Why can some flowers grow well inside the greenhouse? Are we stupid? We always carry this guilt, the feeling of being better than most flowers that grow in the greenhouse. Why can't I come out? Can I really grow well if I come out? Can I really grow well in the greenhouse? If I can't, how can others help me? What should I do? This seems to be your constant inner voice, making me feel that this age is so special! You can continually worry and think about life issues in your own way. It's great! My answer to the feelings you conveyed is: Believe in yourself, there are no limits in life, and shift the \"true perspective of the world\" to your own perspective. Find your true feelings and desires in the emotions that you feel are important but maybe others don't. Don't criticize yourself from any side, but slowly learn how to love yourself. You don't need to be like anyone else; everyone has their own aspirations. Maybe most people have certain aspirations, but it happens that this is how I grow, this is the kind of flower I am. Sometimes, we intentionally overlook others' lives, the feelings of those extraordinary plants in the greenhouse, and how they appear as ordinary people, students. Under the pressure of the clouds, are the feelings we ignore truly pressure, or are they companions? Why don't we truly face the feelings of different people and accept our own feelings? As for learning, the learning paths of each flower are different. Which flower is truly superior? Which flower cannot learn? Which flower is not a flower? Save, a little less, up and down. In my understanding, look at yourself with the eyes you used when you were a child, and find your true feelings and true desires. Don't consider yourself inferior from any perspective. I believe everyone's perspective is different, but which one is bad? Wishing you peace, joy, and happiness, gratefulness and appreciation.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate, I also had thoughts like this in high school. I used to feel like going to school was not very important to me and I disliked learning those dry and rigid things. I often wondered why, why do I have to go to school, why do I have to study, are the things that others consider important and successful really important to me? That is the reason why I developed a dislike for studying. I was also often mentioned as a negative example, skipping classes and not paying attention in class, but later I was also mentioned for how mischievous I was and in the end, I turned over a new leaf and walked the right path. I don't dislike learning, I just dislike the standardized and uniform things in school. Actually, you don't dislike learning either, since you can develop an interest and an eagerness for knowledge in other things. The exploration of anything and involvement in any aspect is learning. It's just that now you're a bit confused about why you have to do it this way. I hope you can calm down and think about what you really want and what you yearn for deep inside. Learning is not just about the subjects in arts and sciences or the college entrance examination, all things that can bring positive value to yourself can be called learning, like cooking, gardening, yoga, and handicrafts. This age is a beautiful time, you must study well because now with the current policies, the college entrance examination is the only way out for most people. Grades and diplomas cannot determine a person's goodness or badness, we learn knowledge and skills in school, not human relationships and worldly affairs. My current major is design. I liked drawing in middle school, but others said it was useless and the teacher even tore my drawing in class. But now, I still make a living with my art. What they said wasn't right, drawing is very useful to me. So you must calm down and think about what you really want to do well. Now is the perfect time. I only discovered my interest in geology right before the college entrance examination, but it was too late, I couldn't apply for that major anymore. I was limited in my choice of majors and could only choose fine arts. But you are different now, you still have one year to study and first improve your grades, and then think about the subjects you mentioned that you are interested in. Start studying hard now, and in a year, you can go to the school and major you like, it's a wonderful thing. I am satisfied with my current major, but I still carry a sense of regret because I didn't understand why I was studying in high school and missed the best opportunity to improve my grades. I only realized what I truly aspired to study later, but by then it was too late. So I sincerely hope that you can study seriously. The college entrance examination is the foundation, it's like the structure of a building. Only by doing well now can you truly achieve your dreams, laying a solid foundation before building a tall building, achieving a refined decoration from a basic structure. Finally, I genuinely wish that you can pursue what you love from the bottom of your heart, follow your own thoughts, and it won't go wrong. The confusion and bewilderment you feel now, time will provide you with an answer. Let me share a poem with you, \"Regardless of peak or plain, stunning vistas are sure to wane. After gathering flowers for honeyed gains, who labors for whose weal and bane?\" Don't be like a bee, working hard but not knowing why. You must study, only then can you live the life you want, and meet like-minded companions. Keep going, I wish you a bright future, even if this path is not recognized, even if there are obstacles ahead. Don't leave yourself with regrets, you must persevere. Don't be afraid of others not understanding, \"Don\u2019t worry that the road ahead has no kindred spirit, for in this world, who does not recognize you?\" Those who strive, progress, and excel in any field will shine wherever they are. Keep going, it's never too late to start from now. I wish for you to grow into someone you admire in the future.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Based on your description, it seems that there are two aspects that need adjustment: lack of motivation in studying, and lack of perseverance. However, both of these aspects serve a goal, so there is a third and most important aspect, which is \"what does the senior year of high school mean to you in terms of exam-oriented learning?\" or \"what goal do you hope to achieve through the senior year of exam-oriented learning?\" Perhaps you will find that the description here is not about \"reading\" or \"studying,\" but about \"the senior year of exam-oriented learning.\" Because \"reading\" and \"studying\" are broader concepts that encompass lifelong learning, and \"learning\" includes many aspects such as ideas and skills. So, you may not like \"reading\" or \"studying,\" as long as it is the lifestyle you choose. However, now you are facing a specific task, which is to continue \"going to school\" through a year of exam-oriented learning at school and at home, and what kind of school to continue is the actual goal. If what you mean by \"reading\" is going to school, then do you feel that there is no benefit or meaning in continuing to go to school or pursuing \"university education\" or \"better university education\"? If so, is it related to your potential as a \"cool and capable person\" and your arrogance? For example, do you feel that you are so awesome to the point where you don't need better university education to live the life you want? Is this the aspect that makes you different from others? You don't need to follow the path that the general public follows and can find your own path to success? Or is it that the life you want to live doesn't require attending a better university to achieve it? In short, your action and perseverance during your senior year are related to your intrinsic motivation for learning, and intrinsic motivation for learning is related to your specific goals, and specific goals are guided by what kind of life you want to live. Therefore, perhaps you can start by asking yourself: What kind of life do I want to live in the future? What conditions do I need to possess to achieve this kind of life? Can attending a better university help me meet these conditions faster? Thinking about it this way, perhaps your thinking will become clearer.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 14181
       },
       {
        "question": "Middle school girl, likes her teacher, am I a lesbian? What is wrong with me?",
        "description": "Middle school student, female, but I have a crush on my teacher. She is around 42 years old, and she is really, really adorable. I can't really tell if I admire and idolize her or if I am in love with her. But whenever I see her, my heart flutters. I become shy when she talks to me. Am I a lesbian? Why do I develop feelings of love for someone of the same gender?",
        "keywords": "Romance, sexual orientation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear asker, hello! From your words, I can see a brave little girl who is trying her best to find answers. Hugs to such a lovely asker! Let's go back to the description you provided. You think your teacher is very, very cute, and you feel shy when you're around her, so you like her. You then concluded that you like the same sex and are curious why you have feelings for the same sex. Regarding your liking for your teacher, can you point out some cute behaviors or attractive qualities of your teacher that caught your attention? It might help to keep a teacher observation log, where you can record your little emotions and help organize your feelings. What does your liking for your teacher look like? Is it because of her maturity, gentleness, thoughtfulness...? Actually, liking a teacher can be about the person herself or her behavior. Both answers are correct because there must be something about the teacher that you aspire to. She has experienced the years we haven't and has the maturity that we hope to have. So, take some time to think about what liking looks like to you. Regarding the psychological studies related to homosexuality, it has been found that just like the preference for using the right hand or left hand, sexual orientation is a continuous process. There is a broad range between complete heterosexuality and complete homosexuality. Those who are only interested in the same sex are called homosexuals, those who are only interested in the opposite sex are called heterosexuals, and those who are interested in both sexes are called bisexuals. In short, whether it is homosexuality or heterosexuality, as a social phenomenon, it has always accompanied humanity's journey. From a purely romantic perspective, since age is not a factor, why should there be gender restrictions? So, no matter what your sexual orientation is, you deserve to be embraced by the world. Returning to your question, you wonder if you are a homosexual because you have a good impression of a same-sex teacher. So, is it too quick to conclude that you are a homosexual? You are still in middle school and very young. You have plenty of time to build your own knowledge system, so there is no need to rush to label yourself. Why not explore more knowledge and learn the stories behind things in this colorful world? I believe that with a rich experience, you will be able to give yourself a definite answer. No matter who you are, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
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           },
           {
            "start": 49,
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           },
           {
            "start": 131,
            "end": 219,
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           },
           {
            "start": 219,
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            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 347,
            "end": 464,
            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 464,
            "end": 535,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 535,
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           },
           {
            "start": 556,
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           },
           {
            "start": 626,
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           },
           {
            "start": 717,
            "end": 735,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Homosexuality is generally considered innate and cannot be corrected through treatment. Nowadays, we advocate for respecting homosexuality. As you are only in middle school, it is too early to determine if you are homosexual, and no one should make such a diagnosis. Therefore, I suggest you relax and channel your attraction towards your teacher into motivation for studying well. As for the distress about homosexuality, it is best to evaluate it when you are an adult.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8276
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling like I am being imitated by a girl around me, am I too sensitive? How can I change this?",
        "description": "I feel like there's a girl around me who is always imitating me. Whatever type of clothes I wear, she starts wearing similar clothes in a few days, sometimes even exactly the same. This is quite obvious, but there are also less noticeable things, such as: 1. Whatever food I buy, she buys it shortly after. Actually, this is a very ordinary thing, and I only realized it after noticing the clothing issue. 2. I try a new hairstyle, and she does the same. 3. I buy a new eyeshadow palette and try a new makeup look, and she follows suit. I've also heard a saying, \"Everyone thinks they are unique, but in reality, 90% of people think the same.\" I don't know if I'm being too sensitive, but her silent behavior really annoys and frustrates me. Is it just me overthinking? What should I do to change my mindset or her behavior?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflicts, roommates, classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, fellow, warm hug to you (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that: (1) You feel uncomfortable because there's a girl who seems to be imitating you recently. (2) You want to know if it's because you're overthinking. (3) You also want to know how to change your own mindset or deal with the other person's behavior. Here are my analysis and advice, hoping to help you: (1) First of all, everyone has the right to dress up, and nowadays, fashion trends are similar, so it's normal for everyone to dress similarly. However, if it's exactly the same, it might be a bit problematic. (2) Secondly, imitation can also be a form of recognition. Maybe the other person feels it's easier to pick things without making mistakes by following you, so they just copy everything. (3) Finally, since the other person seems to appreciate your taste so much, why not be friends with them and understand their real thoughts, helping them find a style that suits them. #The world and I love you, wishing you well~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 21875
       },
       {
        "question": "The child is about to enter middle school, what is the best relationship with the child like?",
        "description": "My child is about to enter middle school, and I haven't been able to spend much time with them since they were young. Now, their personality and habits are really bad, and I don't know how to make them change.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, the process of growing up, and communication between parents and children.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "My friend, from your description, I can feel your care and concern for your child and your desire to do better! I'm glad to meet parents like you who are willing to seek professional help. So, let me give you some suggestions: First, don't argue with your child. Why is this the first piece of advice? It is determined by the psychological development of teenagers. They are currently experiencing conflicts between physical maturity and psychological immaturity, often wanting to appear like adults and show off their capabilities. However, they don't always have good control over their abilities, and sometimes they go too far. The specific manifestation is arguing with parents and talking back. Many parents don't understand their children's desire to express themselves, and take it seriously. The child says something, the parent responds, and communication turns into an argument. The second piece of advice follows: Pay attention to the purpose of communication, which is to exchange, not to win or lose. As parents, we don't need to insist on winning, but we shouldn't always give in either. When a child's behavior violates social norms and laws, we should clearly convey the message that making such choices has consequences. However, during the communication process, do not judge the child's behavior, just let them know that there will be consequences. Don't perfunctorily deal with the child, be sincere. At this time, the child is sensitive and can easily sense your impatience and minor irritations towards them. When talking to the child, avoid playing with your phone or being distracted. It is essential to maintain sincerity and consistency. Grow together with your child. This is your first time being parents, and it's also your child's first time being a child. When you were your child's age, you might have done a lot of housework, which they have never experienced. They can't go back to the past to experience it. However, when they are the same age as you, they will face competition pressures that you have never experienced. But you can experience the little things in life together with them because at this moment, you and your child are in the same era. You can be weaker than your child, and allow them to occasionally excel, such as in knowledge related to the internet. Give them confidence, treat them as equals, and they will love you more.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! Your child entering middle school indicates that they are still in their adolescence, a period that is generally more rebellious. Additionally, since you did not raise them yourself but rather they were raised by their grandparents or other family members, their personality and habits may differ from what you prefer and accept. These differences will take time to change, as they cannot be changed quickly. Firstly, you need to accept your child's habits and personality. Try to interact with them slowly and observe which habits can be changed and how to change them. Secondly, be more tolerant and accepting of your child. If they make a mistake, don't rush to scold them. Instead, calmly talk to them in a gentle manner. Otherwise, you might trigger their rebelliousness. Lastly, communicate more with your child. Communication is crucial within a family, as many conflicts arise from a lack of communication. If there are habits or aspects of your child's personality that need improvement, talk to them about it and help them understand that they need to change. Take it slow. These are my personal views and suggestions, for your reference. I hope it can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17704
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it a mental problem to always have too much suspicion in a relationship, leading to frequent arguments?",
        "description": "I often suspect that someone is interested in my partner or my partner is interested in someone else just because they are chatting. My partner thinks I'm being unreasonable. Can you tell me if there's something wrong with my mental health?",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security, arguments, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP~ First, let me give you an encouraging hug. I completely understand how you're feeling right now. It's normal to feel uncomfortable and even argue when your partner is chatting with other guys. It's a typical behavior of jealousy. Jealousy is a normal phenomenon and it shows that you care about your partner. However, it's important to find a balance because being overly jealous can cause significant damage to your relationship. First and foremost, you need to give your partner enough trust. Chatting could simply be with friends, buddies, or brothers. Don't always suspect that your partner will have a negative impact on you. Of course, your behavior could be related to your childhood experiences, especially between the ages of 0 to 1. It could be due to insufficient companionship from your parents or inappropriate parenting methods, which have resulted in you not developing a strong sense of security. That's why you find it difficult to trust your partner in a romantic relationship. If you don't address this issue in a timely manner, it could have a greater impact on the relationship between the two of you in the future. You can also seek help from professional psychologists or counselors. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings. You love your girlfriend very much and hope that she can be wholeheartedly devoted to you. You really enjoy the time spent with your girlfriend and cherish it. You are very careful to protect it and don't allow others to disturb it. There's nothing wrong with your mentality. In every relationship, there will be exclusiveness, which is a normal reaction and also the mystery of love. However, everything should be done in moderation. Loving her doesn't mean you should monitor her or control all her social interactions and behaviors or prohibit her from having any contact with the opposite sex. It doesn't mean you should restrict her life to only revolve around you. After all, as a social being, we all need to interact and communicate with others to fulfill our sociability and to live a normal life. Your doubts and arguments partly stem from your lack of self-confidence. You are afraid of losing her and others taking her away, which may be related to your past experiences. You can enhance your self-confidence through various ways such as your appearance, speech, career, life, and travel. You can also read some professional books, which will be helpful. Part of it is because you haven't learned how to handle certain issues in a relationship. When you have doubts and thoughts, it's better to express them face to face and make your attitude clear. Love should be exclusive and monogamous. You can directly explain to her about her behaviors and request improvements. Quarrels can sometimes hurt feelings and cause both of you to be hurt. Love is built on trust, acceptance, understanding, and support. I believe you can handle the problems in your relationship and achieve a sweet love.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1238
       },
       {
        "question": "College life can be difficult, how to control emotions and negative thoughts?",
        "description": "I now have to exhaust myself every day in order to fall asleep (after 3 am), otherwise I can't sleep at all. I chose this major because of my father's ignorance, he even used suicide to threaten me. I now feel very emotionally sensitive, and my university life is really difficult. I also have a hard time controlling my emotions now, sometimes I suddenly want to get angry over small things, and when I collapse, I really want to commit suicide. Every time I think of my father, I have a headache, but he acts like nothing happened, thinking that he helped me choose a good path. I have no talent for studying this, nor do I want to study this major. I don't understand why he insisted on me choosing it. The employment prospects for this major are also very difficult, even if I excel in it, it's still hard to find a job. His arrogance and ignorance have ruined me for a lifetime. I really don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Your negative feelings and discouragement about the future make you nervously anxious, mentally exhausted, and emotionally anxious. You are easily triggered and tend to release your emotions. You easily feel offended. In fact, all of these are the sensations and memories from within. Emotions are not controlled but rather enhanced through positive experiences, self-empowerment, and inner cognition. By working on these aspects, the emotional mechanism will gradually change, and negative emotions will not be produced naturally, thus eliminating the need for control and suppression.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20814
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a close opposite-sex friend that I care about a lot. Should I resolve the situation or let go completely?",
        "description": "I have been friends with a senior student on WeChat for two and a half years. He has been very helpful with my studies and work, and I always feel happy when chatting with him. However, we have only met once (he treated me to a meal). He has turned down my invitations multiple times, probably because he has a girlfriend. When I ask him for advice, he is always enthusiastic. He graduated and now works in Beijing. One day, he mentioned on WeChat that if I come to Beijing for an internship, I should let him know and he would treat me to a meal. Now I am interning in Beijing and even posted it on my moments, and he liked it, so he must know that I have come to Beijing, but he hasn't asked me out. Was he just being polite? Or does he really want to meet? He has already graduated and I will graduate next year, so our paths will cross less in the future. If we don't meet in Beijing this time, we may never have a chance to meet again, and there will be no reason to keep in touch. I care a lot about this. But because we have only met once, I don't even remember what he looks like anymore. Perhaps I am insignificant to him, or maybe he didn't wait for me to contact him? Did he never consider me a friend and forget about me? Should I reach out to him and meet for the second time, or never contact him again? It's because we don't have much interaction in real life, but enjoy chatting online, that I feel so disappointed. I have a very unreal feeling, and it makes me very uncomfortable.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friendship, deceiving and trust.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I received your invitation to answer your question. Thank you for trusting me! Based on your description, I can tell that you have a strong liking for this older student. As you mentioned, you care a lot about his reaction towards you. I can sense that you have developed some sort of emotional dependence on him and may have some ambiguous feelings. However, you have been restraining yourself because you know he has a girlfriend. You can only maintain boundaries and distance, but you can't control your inner desires. Deep down, you hope to be different in his eyes. You wish that he would also care and value you. It is because of these expectations that you feel so disappointed and conflicted, right? I strongly suggest that you take the initiative to invite him out and openly tell him that you are in Beijing, allowing him to show hospitality. Because he already knows that you are here. There could be various reasons why he didn't invite you to dinner, such as being polite or not being able to judge the situation well, or maybe he's afraid of rejection, etc. By taking the initiative and observing his reaction, especially during the meal, it will help you dispel many illusions and see the truth. Regardless of what the truth may be, it will allow you to not keep yourself hanging in the air, unsure of how to proceed, and enable you to have a grounded understanding of what's next. This will be particularly helpful for you in dealing with your relationship. Otherwise, your heart will be left hanging, and all sorts of assumptions and speculations will not only make you suffer but also create misunderstandings. You won't know how to interact with him next. Be bold and make the appointment, bravely face the truth. Good luck to you, young lady.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From what you've described, it seems like he was not only helping you but you also had some small expectations of him, right? As you mentioned, he has a girlfriend, so he politely declined your invitation. Actually, I think this kind of guy is really good. He knows how to set boundaries when interacting with the opposite sex. He doesn't want other girls to have expectations or misunderstandings because he has a girlfriend. What do you think? When he said he would treat you to a meal in Beijing, it could either be a sincere offer or just a polite remark. Only he knows for sure. If you just post something on your social media, it could be seen as a hint. But to be honest, hints don't work for everyone, especially for a guy who already has a girlfriend. It might be even less effective. Now that you are in Beijing, if you really want to meet him or just want to thank him, you can boldly invite him: \"Senior, I'm in Beijing. I would like to treat you and your girlfriend to a meal. Are you available?\" I don't know what will happen next, but at least it's better than just thinking about it here. What do you think?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11688
       },
       {
        "question": "Fantasizing about being great, forcing oneself, feeling pain and discomfort, what should I do?",
        "description": "Recently, I feel like I'm pressuring myself again. Fantasizing about being really good at everything. Quick and not falling behind. I think the training instructors are weak, nobody listens to them, and their efficiency is too low, I can't stand it. If it were me, I would do better, I would do this and that. I want to read a new novel, but I keep forcing myself to read the old one. I want to read this one, but I keep forcing myself to read that one. This week, I want to try a few more counselors on campus, but I'm afraid the teachers will recognize me, so I force myself to think about whether to go or not and tell myself to hold on. I want to eat this, but I tell myself to hold on. It feels really uncomfortable not being able to do whatever I want to do like before. It's like I'm pressuring myself. The counselor couldn't make calls during military training, and I kept looking for and switching to a suitable counselor. I can't open up to my mom. I try to please others, I don't want to take photos but I still do. Is a career counselor the same as a counselor? Can I trust them? Can I switch again? Will the five counselors in the counseling department discuss this student and talk about me? When they see me, will they tell her that I'm doing fine? In my previous appointment, I switched to another counselor. I didn't say hello to her and I'm afraid she'll recognize me. What exactly do I want? I still feel so miserable. I can't do what I want. What do I want to read? Why do I end up not having time to read what I really want to read?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, obsession, hypochondria.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, good evening. The stream of consciousness-like words can be a bit confusing, but let's break it down. Let's reflect on what makes us overwhelmed. In my opinion, it's caring too much. What does it mean to care too much? Take insomnia as an example. When a person has insomnia, the more they resist it and ask themselves, \"What should I do? How can I fall asleep? Why can't I sleep? How did I end up like this?\" The more they fight against it, the more difficult it becomes to fall asleep. Instead, we can try thinking like this: everything is fine, everything is the best arrangement. No matter what we have experienced before, in this moment, right now, we exist in our own breath. Isn't every breath we take real? In each breath, we feel our own existence, which brings us a sense of peace, ease, and the growing realization that we can be accepted, understood, and perceived. When our sense of peace, ease, acceptance, understanding, and perception merge with ourselves, we become authentic, regardless of what we have experienced before. With that said, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6632
       },
       {
        "question": "There are six people in the dormitory who are suffering from insomnia and physical exhaustion due to one person snoring.",
        "description": "I am currently a college student and I can't sleep at night because my roommate snores. I am extremely sensitive to it, especially my clinical friend. It really messes with my mind. Even though other roommates snore loudly, I can still fall asleep. But when he snores, I am very sensitive to it. Of course, the other roommates don't snore all night, only he snores loudly all night long. And as soon as he lies on the pillow, he starts snoring. In our daily lives, our relationship seems fine on the surface, but deep down I really dislike his snoring and remember his character because of it. I am mentally and physically exhausted because of his snoring, and I don't want to interact with him anymore. Sometimes he says he tries to avoid snoring but it doesn't work. What kind of psychological problem is this? How can I overcome it?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, and counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, [it is indeed uncomfortable to hear someone snoring while trying to sleep]. Snoring, as we know, is primarily caused by physiological factors and is beyond our control. Therefore, even if the person tries to avoid snoring, it may not work. It's similar to the situation when we urgently need to use the restroom in important occasions. Even though we tell ourselves that it's not appropriate to leave at that moment, the feeling of needing to use the restroom is something we cannot control. The solution is either to change the other person or change ourselves. Firstly, changing dorms is one option. It could be either the other person changing dorms or ourselves. If we have both choices, I believe everyone would prefer the other person to change, but we know that it is often more difficult than changing ourselves. Secondly, behavior change. Similarly, there are two directions: changing the other person or changing ourselves. Encourage our roommate to see a doctor and explore treatment options. If the other person cannot be cured, we can only change ourselves by wearing earplugs or using sleep aids before going to bed. [If a specific roommate not only snores but also manipulates, and these two things make you unable to bear it and not want to deepen the relationship.] Since you don't want to deepen the relationship, what is preventing you from implementing your ideas? What benefits does maintaining this superficial relationship have for you? Sometimes we cannot be honest with ourselves and have consistent words and actions, often because such behavior brings us benefits. When we were young, adults often took us to visit relatives and we were expected to greet them. However, sometimes when we didn't want to greet a certain relative, we felt conflicted internally. Why? It's because there was a contradiction between not wanting to greet them and the expectation from the adults. In the end, we still greeted them to show politeness. This has a benefit of maintaining the image of being a \"polite child,\" and adults would praise us, which is a form of reward. Looking back on these childhood experiences now as adults, if we don't seek praise from adults, would we still feel conflicted and be able to respect ourselves more? Some may think that it's easy to say but difficult to do. And this is indeed the case. But change has never been an easy task, has it? Best wishes! Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the problem of snoring is not something that the person can control once they fall asleep, you can only adjust yourself. I am also a very light sleeper, once I hear any snoring, going to the bathroom, or walking sounds, I immediately wake up and can't fall back asleep. There was even a time when I heard the washing machine downstairs doing laundry in the middle of the night, so my sleep quality is really poor. Later on, I started wearing earplugs, and they did have some effect. You can also try using earplugs or other sleep aid products to help you resist the interference. Generally, snoring is caused by some problems in the respiratory tract, so you can regard your roommate as a patient and be considerate, which should help a little bit.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, snoring is indeed very annoying, especially when you're in a bad mood and have to listen to it all night long, it can really drive you crazy. The original poster mentioned that they are not very sensitive to other classmates' snoring, but they feel extremely annoyed by this person's snoring. They also mentioned that they feel repulsed by him because he is calculative. Perhaps it is this aspect that intensifies their aversion towards his snoring. For example, let's say your annoyance towards snoring is a 1, and let's say you find this person irritating, their snoring might amplify the annoyance to an 8. Maybe the original poster is bothered by some of this person's characteristics, such as his calculating behavior. 1. Klein, a famous psychology expert, believes that we are all born with good and bad qualities, and in order to avoid experiencing our own bad qualities, we project them onto others. For example, in early years, we project those qualities onto our mother, like biting her nipple while breastfeeding, etc. In order to avoid facing our own bad qualities, we use a split defense mechanism to believe that these bad qualities don't belong to us, but to others. This pattern or psychological motivation still exists in adults, it just presents itself in a different way. We project the parts of ourselves that we cannot accept onto others. For example, if you cannot accept your own calculating nature, you attribute that bad quality to others and dislike them to defend yourself from experiencing that aspect of yourself. I don't know if there is anyone in your life who is calculating. 2. Another theory is that in our relationship with our parents, they have many expectations of us or respond to us in a strict manner, such as asking us to be generous and kind to others and to give away all the good things to others. In order to win their love, we start to mold ourselves according to their expectations and gradually internalize a superego that wants to be a generous person and not to be calculating. However, it is in human nature to take advantage of others, and each of us has this quality, but it has been repressed in you. When you encounter a person who is calculating, your superego comes out and you dislike them. Actually, what you dislike is what your heart desires. It's just that you are not able to express it due to the experiences from earlier years. These are different explanations from psychology. The original poster can reflect on themselves. Of course, it is completely fine to distance yourself from people you don't like. There's no need to make yourself uncomfortable. You can also talk to them and express your feelings or listen to others' opinions about them. Disliking someone is not a bad thing; it can serve as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Every person we encounter can be our benefactor and help us become a better version of ourselves.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1419
       },
       {
        "question": "Is my roommate coughing at the same time as me an attack on me?",
        "description": "Why do my roommate and classmates stare at me? Whenever I speak, they cough. They even change their ringtone to match mine. If I make a movement, they do the same. I can't figure out what I have done to offend them. They always sit behind me in class, and whenever I pick up a pen or a book, they cough loudly. They cough frequently, but why does their cough always coincide with my actions? Am I just \"lucky\"? How should I handle this situation?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts and tensions, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! First, I can empathize with the issue you're experiencing. At your age, you may still be going through adolescence and seeking identity, so it's normal to care about whether your peers accept you. Humans have a need for connection, so your inner longing is completely understandable. Second, it seems like your roommates are imitating your behavior, actions, habits, and even interests. This may leave you feeling confused. Looking at it from a positive perspective, perhaps they appreciate and admire you, which is why they imitate you. Third, from a negative angle, they might be jealous or engaging in what you perceive as subtle attacks. If that's the case, we need to analyze what might have led to your roommates' unfriendly treatment. Fourth, it's possible that you stand out in the group, receiving affirmation and favor from teachers. This might cause others to feel psychologically inferior, thus leading to their oppositional emotions and the behaviors described in your post. Fifth, perhaps you are somewhat sensitive? Their actions might not be directed solely at you; maybe they find it enjoyable to behave this way. After all, young people seek excitement and novelty in their actions, which is perfectly normal. Sixth, regardless of which analysis holds more truth, the bottom line is you should communicate and connect with them, clearing up any misunderstandings. You can also try to integrate into their circle, or even if you do not wish to be with them, find your own group where you share common interests. Birds of a feather flock together, as they say. Seventh, humans are social animals, especially at your current stage when identity recognition is important. Therefore, it's meaningful for you to actively engage in communication, cooperation, sharing, and acquiring a sense of belonging within the group.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 5928
       },
       {
        "question": "Is my boyfriend considered to have a tendency for violence? Please answer this question directly.",
        "description": "My boyfriend jokes with me and says things like \"I really want to kick your butt\" and \"I'll knock out your teeth,\" etc. In the past, during our most intense arguments, I would push him and pinch him, but he never fought back and let me hit him. When I asked him why he was glaring at me, he replied, \"I'm restraining myself from hitting you.\" When I pressed him further, asking if he ever wanted to hit me, he got angry and said he did, but when I pushed him again, he said he didn't. (He already had scars from when I scratched him.) Occasionally, when I insult him, he will playfully make a gesture like he wants to hit me, but when I ask him what he's doing, he immediately stops. In fact, he has never hurt me, but I often pinch him and leave scars all over his body. When we argue and he doesn't respond to my messages, he calls me several times. One night, when I wanted to leave home without wearing warm clothes, I hit him countless times, but he pulled me back and stopped me from getting off the elevator. In a previous incident, when I said it hurt and asked him to let me go, he didn't release my arm immediately, and it hurt for a long time. There was another time when I hit his face with a blanket, and he warned me by poking me with his finger. I always worry. I have a very strong desire for control and feel that he must listen to me and do things according to my thoughts. I often say to him, \"Are you going to do it or not? Are you going to listen or not?\" Every time, he just clenches his fists and gets angry. Therefore, I want to know if he has a tendency towards violence.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, violence, aggression, stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, title owner. We meet again. I saw that you asked a question before about whether your boyfriend has a tendency for violence, and I replied to it. But it seems that you haven't resolved your doubts and still want to figure out whether your boyfriend does have a tendency for violence. The definition of a tendency for violence is: \"a trait of certain individuals who tend to solve problems with force and violence. They believe that reasoning and persuasion are unnecessary. Their worldview may be influenced by their unique upbringing, life experiences, peer influence, and so on. Previous violent behavior has given them an advantage in interpersonal relationships, making them feel superior and successful, thus reinforcing their ongoing and escalating tendency for violence.\" People with a tendency for violence generally exhibit the following behaviors: 1. Poor emotional control, easily getting angry and verbally abusing others even over minor issues; 2. Engaging in violent behavior before marriage, expressing anger through throwing and smashing objects; 3. Frequently getting into conflicts and using violence to show off in their daily life. They feel no shame in their violent actions, but rather take pride in them; 4. Cruelty towards animals, lack of empathy; 5. Always shifting blame onto others and refusing to admit their own mistakes; 6. Engaging in verbal violence, often preceding physical violence; 7. Fantasizing about harming others in their daily life. Based on these behaviors, you can assess whether your boyfriend fits the criteria for having a tendency for violence. In fact, many answerers, myself included, have provided you with reasonable analysis and explanations in response to your previous questions. Many of us believe that your boyfriend's behavior is just him defending his boundaries, but it seems that this still hasn't dispelled your suspicions about whether he has a tendency for violence. Seeing your question raised again today, I think we can work on the concept of \"tendency for violence.\" Here are some questions for you to consider: 1. What do you associate with the term \"tendency for violence\"? How is it connected to your upbringing experiences? My personal speculation is that in your upbringing, one of your caregivers displayed a tendency for violence. Perhaps you have suffered from violence yourself or witnessed others experiencing it. That has made you highly sensitive to violent behavior, always on the lookout for signs of a tendency for violence. For example, if your boyfriend jokingly says, \"I really want to kick your butt,\" or \"I'll knock out your teeth if you keep laughing,\" you would associate these remarks with a tendency for violence. Pay attention to the fact that you might treat your thoughts as reality. Just because someone has violent thoughts in their mind doesn't mean they will actually act on them. You can distinguish between what is imagined and what is real. When you find yourself lost in thoughts again, try bringing yourself back to the present moment and observe the reality around you. 2. From your recent similar questions, I have a feeling that you hope to hear the answer: yes, your boyfriend does have a tendency for violence. So, imagine if I were to tell you, \"Yes, based on your description, your boyfriend does indeed have a tendency for violence,\" how would you feel? Would you feel a sense of \"I knew it, he is exactly the person I thought he was. I was right!\"? And do you feel scared, but also a slight satisfaction of \"I got it right\"? If you have these feelings, it is highly likely that you are repeating a childhood pattern. As I mentioned earlier, during your upbringing, there was an important caregiver with a tendency for violence, and your behaviors towards your boyfriend are largely learned from this caregiver's behavior. On the other hand, you also feel worried and afraid, afraid that your boyfriend is really that kind of person. Another aspect is that you don't fully accept your own actions. If your boyfriend is the same as you, maybe you would feel a little better. It's important to recognize that the past and the present are completely different, and the person you faced in the past is not the same as the person you face now. Our internal relationship patterns can also be corrected through real-world experiences. If conditions allow, you can seek help from a professional counselor. There are many details worth exploring, and a professional counselor can provide you with more systematic and comprehensive assistance. That is my answer, and I hope it helps you. Best wishes to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, it's evident that you are genuinely concerned about whether your boyfriend has a violent tendency or not, and in order to confirm your suspicions, you have done things that have affected your relationship. Hugs to you. I'm curious to know why you have such a nearly paranoid level of concern about your boyfriend's violent tendencies. Can you please explain the reason behind this? When did this worry begin? Is it because your father had serious violent tendencies and harmed you and your mother? Or is it because you witnessed such examples around you? Or perhaps it's due to the negative news about domestic violence that you've come across online recently, which affects your trust in intimate relationships? It is true that there are people with violent tendencies, but we shouldn't let that stop us, right? Traffic accidents happen every day, and cars on the road may have issues, but we don't choose to never ride in a car because there might be a potential accident. What we need to do is take preventive measures. How can we do that? First, we make sure to regularly maintain our vehicles. Second, when driving, we follow traffic rules and drive carefully. And lastly, if problems occur, we prioritize our own safety. Perhaps this is a bit off-topic because what you want is a clear answer about whether the other person has violent tendencies. Unfortunately, I can't definitively answer that question. From your current description, it can be said with certainty that he doesn't have violent tendencies. However, if you continue to try to test and validate in this way, it's not impossible that this may change in the future. In your description, you mentioned, \"He has never hurt me, but I often pinch him and leave him covered in bruises.\" Perhaps you both deeply love each other, so in the face of you hitting him, arguing with him, and even sometimes demonstrating cold violence (actually, it seems like you are the one with violent tendencies), both of you silently endure and tolerate it. And you may just lack a sense of security, which is why you repeatedly need to verify whether he has violent tendencies. In psychology, there is a common phenomenon called \"self-fulfilling prophecy,\" where when you have a certain suspicion, you unconsciously act according to that suspicion, eventually making it come true. Perhaps, instead of discussing whether your boyfriend has violent tendencies here, what you really need to do is open up to your boyfriend and honestly express your true thoughts, share your concerns and insecurities, and communicate your boundaries. It is truly not easy for two people to meet, get to know each other, and fall in love, so why not cherish the person right in front of you? However, if he does exhibit violent behavior and hurt you, it is crucial to leave immediately. Best wishes, and remember that the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "No, I have not. I see that other respondents have given you a textbook standard. You can refer to it again. Based on your description, it seems more like you are testing, or even trying to gather evidence, to prove that he has violent tendencies. This is actually very dangerous. Even a person who originally did not have violent tendencies is very likely to behave as you expect under such suggestions. The result is likely that a person who normally does not have violent tendencies when with others suddenly exhibits violent behavior while conducting these tests. When he does not exhibit violent behavior, you will continue to suspect, but once he does, you will feel relieved instead. There is a relaxed feeling of \"I knew you were this kind of person.\" Do you also have this kind of suspicion with previous partners? Is your anxiety and unease solely because of this person's appearance? Or are you familiar with this sense of insecurity? Have you had similar feelings in your childhood?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Honey, hugs and kisses to you. I see that you have some confusion in your intimate relationship. In your description, you mentioned that your boyfriend sometimes makes jokes about hurting you verbally. But during the most intense fights, he never fights back physically, only using eye contact and gestures to imply things. Normally, he allows you to hit him and even frequently ends up covered in scars because of you. The only time he physically stopped you was when you were trying to leave home in the middle of the night without warm clothes. To determine if he has a tendency for violence, first see if he has actually harmed you or had the intention to harm you but failed. This can be judged from your life together. Also, in the instance when he didn't let go of your arm, causing you pain, you can think about whether his intention was to hold onto you or to hurt you. I would also like to share my own perspective. Love is a mutual experience, involving the feelings and actions of both parties. If you want to hit him, you should be prepared for him to fight back; otherwise, you should try to communicate more calmly in your daily life. If your boyfriend has always been in a suppressed state, playing the role of being \"hit,\" it's hard to say if, when it accumulates to a certain extent, he will give it all back to you. Lastly, you have also realized that you have a strong desire for control. You can also put yourself in his shoes and consider if your boyfriend treated you this way, would you also clench your fists in anger? Or would you have other more extreme behaviors? I hope this can help you. The world and I love you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, he doesn't have it, but you seem to be fostering this violent tendency in him. If he later exhibits violent behavior, you have contributed to it and cultivated it. Just like you mentioned your \"strong desire for control,\" when you assume your boyfriend has violent tendencies, you will also try to control yourself and induce your boyfriend to conform to your suspicions of his violent tendencies. This is clearly about your own anxiety and self-control issues. Your anxiety makes you want to control. When you feel like you may have gained control and your anxiety subsides slightly, you will observe even more potential risks and possibilities, which will deepen your anxiety and make you want to take even more control. Unfortunately, control cannot eliminate anxiety, so it can only increase in the constant pursuit of control. This is a vicious cycle. To a certain extent, you may prefer mutual destruction rather than letting your suspicions escape your control. Lastly, attempting to gain a sense of security by controlling others is unrealistic, and facing your own internal anxiety requires great courage and the ability to face the pain of losing control. Both are not easy, but it seems easier to control others than to face oneself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title Owner, hello In my opinion, your boyfriend does not have a tendency towards violence, and I feel that the sudden violence from you is unexpected. Violence is a trait of a certain type of person, who tends to use force to solve problems and resort to violence easily. They may believe that using reason and morality to persuade others is unnecessary. Their worldview may be shaped by their unique upbringing, life experiences, the influence and persuasion of friends and parties, etc. Previous acts of violence have given them an advantage in interpersonal relationships, making others feel afraid, submissive, and in awe, which gives them a sense of superiority and achievement, thus reinforcing their continued and escalated violence. The definition clearly states that people with a tendency towards violence tend to use force to solve problems and resort to violence! But your boyfriend is not like that. Instead, he cares about you. The only time he caused you pain was because he wanted to keep you. You mentioned that you have a strong desire for control and have used force on your boyfriend many times! I suggest you can seek professional counseling\ufe0f, hoping it can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, friend. At least from your description, I don't feel that your boyfriend can be considered to have a violent tendency. Although he admits to having thoughts of using physical force during arguments with you, before focusing on his reactions, please first reflect on your own behavior. Think carefully, have you used language and actions to provoke and irritate him? But why do you keep provoking him? I believe no one likes to be treated violently, so of course you don't want your boyfriend to have this tendency. And the reason why you keep wanting to confirm this matter is most likely because you want to prove that you are loved and cherished, or in other words, you are afraid of losing him. How can you express your value to someone or something important to you in the long run? Of course, by cherishing it. Since you keep testing him and he keeps accommodating you, I would like to congratulate you: you have found a man who loves you. Now, you can confidently go and be good to him. This way, your relationship will enter a virtuous cycle, and you will become happier and happier. Yes, that's right. Don't worry, love is by your side and between the two of you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand your complex feelings, and your relationship seems to be very difficult. \u25cf Currently, there is no indication of violent tendencies from him. \u25cf However, currently does not mean there will never be, and with your current behavior of physical aggression, even someone with a good temper may develop violent tendencies because of your training. \u25cf Whether it is for self-protection or for the sake of your relationship, please try to be more gentle with him. Resorting to physical violence will not solve any problem and may also harm yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 206
       },
       {
        "question": "My parents' strained relationship makes me feel anxious all the time, and I'm afraid of becoming depressed.",
        "description": "When I was a child, my parents often fought. My father, when he was young, liked to play mahjong and often stole money from my mother. He even hit my mother in front of me, although it only happened once or twice. He had a very bad temper, and it was difficult to communicate with him about everyday things. He would explode in anger, especially with my mother, although he treated me relatively well. My mother also had many problems. She did not respect my father and was too dominant. When she was young, she had another lover (I caught them together, but I don't know if my father knows). Since I was young, I have often heard my mother say all sorts of bad things about my father, saying that he had no money and did not care about the family. She would also include me in denouncing my father's faults, as if that was her way of seeking recognition. After enduring my school years, I left home, but now, because I am pregnant and expecting a baby, I have to live with my parents again. I feel that their relationship is still not good, with discord between their words and their hearts. A few years ago, my father had another lover, but that may have ended, although they definitely don't want to divorce anymore, especially since my mother found out. Whenever my mother calls my father, I get nervous, feeling that she is actually trying to monitor him. Sometimes, when the call ends, she calls again after half an hour. Sometimes, just a few words from them can start a fight. Thinking about having to listen to this kind of argument in recent years, I am afraid I will develop postpartum depression because of my parents...",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a hug. From your description, I can understand that 1. Your parents have a strained relationship, and you have been living in this kind of family atmosphere since you were young, which makes you uncomfortable. 2. Now that you are pregnant, you have to live with your parents, and you are worried that the tense atmosphere caused by their relationship will lead to depression. [A little analysis and advice] 1. Living in such an environment, whether you are pregnant or not, is not good for your physical health. But since you have been living with your parents since childhood, you have some understanding of their relationship, which means you can prepare yourself mentally in advance. In your daily life, especially recently, don't suppress your thoughts. If you don't want to hear your parents speak ill of each other in front of you, refuse them, or talk to your husband and other friends about these troubles. Expressing your feelings can help relieve your mood. 2. fundamentally, changing this situation requires communication with your parents. After all, they are your parents. Sit down and have a talk with them. Express to them that \"I need to maintain a calm mood during my pregnancy. The conflicts in the family may harm the child. I hope that my parents can temporarily avoid arguments during this period, just for the sake of your daughter.\" Your parents will probably be willing to accept this. I hope this helps.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12687
       },
       {
        "question": "At the age of 18, what should I do when my will to live becomes increasingly low? How can I carry on?",
        "description": "18 years old, the situation has been on and off for four years. I have self-harmed by cutting my wrist, attempted suicide by taking a large quantity of pills twice, have low appetite, slow reaction, easily irritable and anxious, and sometimes unable to recognize my own emotions for a longer period of time. The reasons mainly relate to academics, family origin, and relationships. It seems that I have lost my awe for death, as in a recent suicide attempt, I swallowed over forty antidepressant pills, vomited throughout the night and the following day, received oxygen and intravenous therapy for three days, but didn't tell the doctor or family that I wanted to die. When taking the pills, I felt no fear, no regret, just a very calm feeling, perhaps even a sense of relief. I also know that there is a high probability that I won't die, but the consequences of swallowing the pills have further weakened my already fragile digestive system and liver function, and I think to myself, even if I can live one day less, it might be better. The reason I want to seek help is because I can still perceive that tiny bit of will to live deep inside of me. I'm currently having trouble breathing all day long, have no desire to move, eat, drink, or communicate. Occasionally, I pinch myself to make sure I can still feel, and when I'm irritable, I hit the wall hard to numb myself. I often lie by the window and watch the road, repeatedly thinking about the possibility of ending my own life. But I don't want to disrupt other people's lives. Perhaps I still want to see what the sky looks like at nineteen. So, I'm reaching out for help. How can I continue on?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, mental crisis, psychological counseling, sharing and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the problem you mentioned has been going on for four years, which is indeed not a short period of time. During this time, have you considered seeking professional psychological help? When we have physical problems, we usually know to see a doctor. Diseases don't just disappear by toughing it out. However, when it comes to mental issues, we often think that we might be overthinking or just need to be more open-minded, and that as long as we make an effort to adjust ourselves or give it some time, everything will be fine. But in reality, mental problems, just like physical problems, also require professional treatment. By trying to endure it and delaying seeking help, the problem will only become more serious. You can feel that deep inside, you still have the will to live. So why not consider seeing a psychologist and seeking professional help? There are two forces struggling within you right now: one side wants to die, while the other wants to live. It's like driving a car and simultaneously stepping on the gas and the brake, causing the car to consume a lot of energy. Our inner selves are also enduring such torment. Go see a doctor, they may be able to help alleviate your current suffering and reduce the desire to die. Believe that you will see the sky of being nineteen! Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can feel that you are very gentle. Life always allows us to endure some painful injuries in the best years of our lives, in order to achieve growth. We can try to have a little hope for the future, even just a little bit. In case one day in the future you win a big prize and splurge on yourself, or in case someone patient appears in your life and makes it beautiful, or at the very least, in case a medicine is developed that can relieve the pain of death, we can rely on our imagination to get through our lives. We don't know what will happen in the next ten or twenty years, right? You already have a calm mindset towards death, and I believe you will be able to live calmly, even if only as an observer of this world. It's okay to be carefree, as long as you pass the days without any worries, simply watching from a distance.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15565
       },
       {
        "question": "My child actually dared to hit me? I feel like such a failure as a human being.",
        "description": "I am 26 years old, divorced, and have a 5-year-old child who has been with me since he was little. Today, he had a little disagreement with me over something trivial and refused to admit his mistake. When his grandmother got angry and threw away his drink, he became even more upset and immediately started hitting his grandmother. I rushed over and even got hit myself. Oh my goodness, is this still my son? At such a young age, he dares to hit me. I was so angry and upset that I ended up hitting him too. He hit me even harder. I never had the heart to hit him too hard, but I am truly devastated. Have I spoiled him too much? I don't think so, but why does he have this terrible habit of not admitting his mistakes and hitting elders? When he has conflicts with other children outside, he doesn't have the courage, but at home, he behaves like this. I am really angry and crying. I feel like I have failed as a person. What have I raised?",
        "keywords": "Family, Growth process, Communication between children and parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there. Seeing your words is like seeing you in person. First, let me give you a warm hug, and I hope my answer can help you. First of all, dear, I truly understand you because I have a relative who is in a similar situation as your child. He is 6 years old and currently being fostered in my home. He can be quite aggressive, and when he has conflicts with my brother, he will try to hit him hard, saying things like \"I want to kill you.\" So based on my relative's situation and your description, let me analyze what might be behind your son's behavior. Despite being young, he has matured emotionally due to his unique family structure. Just like my relative, who is 6 years old but becomes quiet whenever his mother is mentioned and doesn't allow anyone to bring her up. Sometimes, when he hurts my brother badly, and my mom gets angry and tells him to leave, he starts acting pitiful, saying things like \"my mom... my dad... my grandma is old and has nowhere to go.\" You see, he is only 6 years old, but he knows exactly what's happening in his family. So, I think your son is also aware of the absence of his father and this family structure, and it might contribute to his early rebellious behavior. Perhaps, in his heart, he holds resentment towards you and his grandmother, and he blames you for his lack of a father figure. Just like you said, you love your son, so you can't bring yourself to hit him. Could it be that his violent behavior towards you is a way to vent his hatred? How to solve this? If he truly holds resentment towards this family, you need to sit down with him and have a good talk, looking into his eyes. Ask him, \"Son, do you not like Mom? What is it that you don't like about Mom? Tell me, and Mom will make changes.\" Additionally, children from divorced families are naturally more sensitive than average children, so you should pay more attention to caring for him and making him feel loved. Of course, there is a difference between caring and spoiling. You need to teach him the right values and ask him about his thoughts and feelings, rather than assuming that you know what love should be and imposing it on him. Also, every child is like a blank canvas when they are born. How did he learn to hit others? Have you or his grandmother ever hit him before? I want to say that violence towards children is highly inappropriate and should be completely eliminated in this modern era. In your future interactions, regardless of what happens, you must calmly and rationally explain things to your child. Absolutely no hitting. And in your description, you mentioned how \"his grandmother gets angry and throws away his drink.\" You see, this is a very rough approach! If you treat your child like this in every aspect of life whenever you're angry, how can the child feel loved? Don't just think about the child, even for an adult, hurting them once cannot be offset by 100 instances of what you think is being good to them. So, once again, remember to handle things calmly and rationally, and make sure to be gentle and let him feel loved. I hope this helps resolve your issue. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. [Question] 1) The child physically assaulted their grandmother and mother - a small conflict escalated when the grandmother threw away the child's drink. 2) The child refuses to admit when they've done something wrong - in front of many people, the child conflicts with their mother and refuses to compromise or surrender. [My analysis] 1) The child's rebellious attitude may be related to behaviors exhibited by the parents. As elders, we should better understand the child's true needs. When the grandmother spilled the child's drink over a small matter, the child naturally felt bullied and wanted to protect themselves. This may require further understanding from the original poster about the changes in the child's personality traits and the underlying causes. 2) The child refusing to admit their mistakes and retaliating after being assaulted could be related to experiences they've encountered while growing up. For example, if they feel a lack of presence when interacting with other children, they may seek attention at home. Therefore, regardless of whether it's a good or bad way, as long as it captures the parents' attention, they will continue doing it. What we need to do is correct the child's behavior and address the issues. [My suggestions] 1) Communicate timely and understand the child's situation. Abnormal behavior from children is always rooted in a reason. To understand these reasons, it is necessary to communicate with the child and comprehend their issues and emotions. If direct communication is not possible, talking with the child's friends or teachers can also provide insight into their true needs. 2) Lead by example through actions. Sometimes, as elders, we just tell the child what they can or cannot do. However, children often have resistance in their minds. What the original poster needs to do is to be respectful to the child and persuade them with reason. By creating a positive atmosphere, the child will naturally want to emulate it. 3) Reevaluate parenting styles by observing the child's behavior. For example, if the original poster sees the child physically assaulting the grandmother and then tries to educate them but ends up being assaulted themselves, they need to reflect on their own parenting style and make adjustments accordingly. This requires gradual exploration by the original poster. 4) Approach conflicts with a good attitude and ease the atmosphere. When conflicts arise with the child, it is important to avoid shouting, as it will only lead to two outcomes: the child crying loudly or the child becoming more defiant. If the original poster adopts a gentle attitude, the child will naturally feel that it is not appropriate to raise their voice, and the conflicts between them will diminish. This will prevent embarrassing situations from happening in public. Educating the younger generation is a challenging task, and the path to success is long and winding. In the process of raising children, we are also scrutinizing ourselves. Growing and progressing together with our children is truly wonderful. I wish you the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "As the mother who is closest to the child, who cares the most and loves the child the most, when the child speaks harsh words or even uses physical force against oneself, there is shock, grievance, anger, and even a sense of shame toward oneself. So many complex emotions flood the heart when facing one's own mother. You hope the child will become better, hope the child's growth will be more solid. As a single mother, you have made a lot of sacrifices and have been trying to think about how to provide better parenting for your child. You and your child are currently facing some difficulties, so let's see if the following can provide you with some inspiration: A five-year-old child is in a phase where some self-awareness is just beginning to emerge, a \"rebellious period\". They start to have their own thoughts and even try to express their own emotions. A five-year-old child may not yet fully understand how their emotional expression can affect others and how others will react. That's why they usually start trying to express their emotions and feelings with the people closest to them. By expressing their emotions to you, in a way, it is their way of showing that they see your relationship as one they can trust. Children of this age may not always be able to verbalize their emotions and feelings, and their inability to do so can make them very angry. When they are unable to express their anger verbally, children are more likely to express it through physical gestures. So, as the child gradually enters the process of socialization, you can try expressing yourself to them in this way: \"Mom knows you're very angry, you're angry because of ****\" (give them feedback and help them articulate their current emotions), \"But when you hit Mom, it hurts. Mom's body hurts, and Mom's heart hurts, because ***. I really hope we can ****, can we?\" In divorced families, children are more likely to be influenced by the family structure itself and may exhibit some temporary personality deviations. As for yourself, you probably have a strong desire for independence and self-reliance, and you may hope that your child can have a more complete environment in which to grow, etc. These beautiful wishes will also to some extent impact your child, and you may also have some expectations placed on your child. For both you and your child, these are very difficult things. The child is just a child, continuously growing, and many so-called problems will \"correct\" themselves as they grow up. Lastly, don't set such high goals for yourself or put so much pressure on yourself. From your request for help, it's clear that you are such a responsible mother. Take good care of yourself, and the child will see your self-assurance and you both will get better and better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, as a young single mother, it must be tough for you. It's really not easy to persevere in the midst of external distractions. First of all, when things happen, I can sense the feelings of shame, surprise, doubt about self-education, love and unwillingness towards your son, and disappointment in your own heart. But there is no need to be disappointed or self-critical. Let your emotions flow freely and acknowledge that it was just a collision of emotions between the child and the adult at that moment. It's just a small matter, and it's enough for us to grow from it. But we can guide the child through it. You can carefully reflect on whether this is the first time the child has displayed such intense emotions or if this has happened before. What are the triggers behind each occurrence? Was it good food, fun activities? The child had needs that were not met, and so on. Based on your description, children from single-parent families may be more sensitive. We need to analyze the psychology behind the child's behavior. Have a deep conversation with the child, calmly and gently tell him: Darling, hitting mommy and grandma hurt us, and we were a bit sad. But I believe that such a sensible child must have a reason. Can you tell mommy what the reason is? In the future, no matter how angry or sad we are, we can always communicate first. Hitting someone can cause them harm, remember that. Slowly guide the child and let him experience different ways of handling emotions. We can then shift the perspective to ourselves. Why did the child's actions trigger so many emotions and disturbances in me? After divorce, did I put all the focus of my life on the child? Do I feel guilty and want to compensate him more? And what about myself? Have I neglected myself during this time and endured a lot of grievances? Do I want to make myself incredibly strong and capable, taking on experiences beyond my peers? And I want to say: it's okay. When life tests us, we can take it slowly. Being strong doesn't mean we have to be invulnerable and unshakeable. We can have moments of \"fragility\". Before being a \"mother\", you always belong to yourself. You can engage in things you like, and it won't affect you being a good mother in the least. Moreover, we can involve the child appropriately, letting him be a \"little man\" and saying: Mommy is tired, can the baby help mommy? Let him do some small things within his abilities and experience the role of a caregiver. Let yourself experience the feeling of \"being taken care of\", which can enhance your relationship. Help the child develop his abilities and relieve your sense of grievance. Slowly, there will be different changes. Finally... I hope that while being a mother, you don't forget to love yourself well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I understand very well how difficult it is to be a mother. I am a mother myself and deeply feel its challenges. The growth of the child and the absence of the father is extremely irresponsible. Every woman was once a little girl and undergoes a transformation to become a mother. Only those who have experienced it deeply understand its difficulties. Who can share this sadness with me? When his grandmother got angry, she threw away his drink, which made him even more frustrated and immediately started hitting her. Is this the first time he has hit his grandmother? First of all, it is wrong to hit one's grandmother and it should be criticized. Similarly, in his understanding, the drink was his favorite and he was infuriated because his grandmother threw it away. This led to his act of violence. Throwing away his favorite drink is a rude and direct behavior, which requires reflection. How do we usually interact with children? He doesn't have much courage and still acts like this at home. I am really angry. Many children are like this because they know that their family loves and cares for them and will forgive them. They choose to be a child, express themselves, and be themselves in front of their family. He is already 5 years old, so I think it's time to reason with him. Children, even though they are small, can understand. I play a game with him to let him know that hitting hurts. When he hits me, I pretend to be in pain. Then he comes to hug me and says, \"Mom, it doesn't hurt. I will protect you.\" On one hand, it teaches him that hitting hurts, and on the other hand, when he hits me, I hit him back to teach him that it's not okay to hit people, as they might hit back. The road of educating a child is long, so do not be impatient. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In \"Teacher Wang Xiao's 5 Lessons on Happiness\", we can help identify these 4 incorrect ways of behavior based on the emotions displayed by the other person. In the case of conflict between a mother and her child, there is an explanation like this: The child says hurtful words to you, such as, \"I hate you! You are a bad mother.\" My emotion: Hurt. Hurt feels like a sharp knife cutting through you. Similar emotions include disappointment, disbelief, and disgust. It is very likely that you have hurt him first, and he retaliates to find fairness. In your \"hurt\" emotion, you may think, \"How can you treat me like this!\" So, you retaliate, but the result is that he will escalate. His need: Fairness and justice. His password information: I have been treated unfairly, please acknowledge my feelings. Perhaps both of you are in a state of hurt, so you can first deal with the emotions. For example: Method - I just compared you to your sister, you must be hurt, I'm sorry! - You just said I am a bad mother, it really makes me sad because I love you so much. - Come, give me a hug! Love is connection, love is seeing. Ask yourself: What is his emotional password? Step one: What is my emotion? Step two: What is his need? Step three: Now that I know his password, what better way can I handle this?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hahaha, congratulations, there is one thing you have succeeded in, he can express \"I disagree with your actions or thoughts\", but his language expression has not yet developed to an adult level. At least he has normal human emotional responses. What needs to be taught is the way to express dissatisfaction, of course, it is better for adults to correct their own way of expression to influence the child. Leading by example, we lack \"leading by example\".",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confession, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1. Why would the child physically hurt their grandma and you? The reason lies in your divorced family, where the child did not receive the fatherly love they should have. They say that a strict father and a kind mother are ideal. In this family, the child lacks the awe-inspiring presence of a father. As a result, they indulge their own temper, throwing tantrums and disrespecting elders. 2. Because of the divorced family, while other children receive their father's love, this child does not. It is inevitable to become an outsider among the children. When bullied, they would say, \"I will tell my dad to beat you up.\" Other children have their fathers' protection, but this child does not. This creates an imbalance in their heart. Over time, it leads to a distorted inner world. 3. The law is impermanent, discussions subject to change, water has no fixed state, and the great Tao is natural. We should not overly control children. Control equals losing control. Control equals oppression. Oppression equals resistance. The accumulation of negative energy in their heart will eventually explode, leading to physical violence. In daily life, it is better to educate children through guidance. Clear rewards and punishments. Praise and reward for good behavior, criticism and punishment for bad behavior. Spend more time with children, play games with them, take them out for activities, and teach them lessons through practical experiences. Gradually guide them to establish the correct values. Thank you for your question. May the beauty of the world come to you as promised.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15305
       },
       {
        "question": "Isolated, irritable, unworthy of studying, unworthy of playing games, unworthy of living?",
        "description": "Clearly, when other people write down what they hear, they get everything right. But what about me? I make mistakes like a complete idiot, especially with the pronunciation symbols. My little sister can cry as much as she wants, but when I cry, I just get yelled at. It's obvious that she was the one scribbling on my paper, but she insists that it was me. Other people draw so nicely, their handwriting is so beautiful, while mine looks like crap. Well, fine, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to study, play games, or even be alive. I'm just a worthless piece of trash.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there *hug* After reading your message, it seems that besides feeling frustrated with studying, you are also troubled by the expectations and criticism from your parents as well as the comparisons between peers. \u3010Life has different colors\u3011 You mentioned that you are not as good at drawing or writing as others, but everyone is unique. Just like how some people excel in painting and others in singing, each person has their own area where they can shine. Maybe you haven't discovered it yet, but don't worry. You can slowly cultivate your interests, and one day you might suddenly realize that there is something you can do really well. And you don't need to focus on comparing yourself with peers. What you truly need to surpass is yourself in the present. You can become more confident and more serious about studying. Your handwriting can become neater and more beautiful than before. \u3010Some suggestions\u3011 1. Be more careful with your studies. Believe that you can listen closely and understand the teacher's requirements. Concentrate on doing one thing well, and if you haven't understood or remembered something, go over it a few more times. You will definitely make progress. 2. It's true that in life, parents tend to have stricter expectations for older children compared to younger ones. Sometimes parents may not fully understand the situation and blame the older child first because they subconsciously think that the older child is more sensible and mature and can better understand why they are angry. So, don't complain about your parents having higher expectations for you, because in their hearts, you are better than your sister. If your parents wrongly accuse you, you can explain the situation to them and believe that they will understand. 3. Younger children sometimes enjoy causing trouble. When your sister does something wrong next time, you can criticize her appropriately and tell her that it's not right. Also, inform your parents about the situation, so that your sister understands that doing something wrong will be criticized. Be more confident, smile at yourself, and bravely change yourself. I hope you can meet a better version of yourself. The little sun will always support you. Wishing you the best! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You say you're worthless, and I understand that it hurts to say that, right? Maybe belittling yourself feels somewhat cathartic. But it's not fair to yourself. If you were truly worthless, you wouldn't be here asking questions. If you were truly worthless, you would have witnessed a miracle, because I have never seen a true worthless person, never. Only deceiving yourself, treating yourself unfairly, and being unwilling to accept yourself, reluctantly and painfully labeling yourself. That's not fair to yourself. From your brief question, my impression of you is that you are motivated, eager to improve, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking. You may not have done well on this dictation and even included the phonetic symbols, and you are unsatisfied with your performance this time. But this does not mean that you can't learn anything or do anything. You are not worthless. You said, \"Even if my little sister cries, it's fine, but when I cry, I get scolded. Even though she clearly scribbled on my test paper, she said I did it.\" What I see here is that this incident made you feel very wronged. You can learn to be kind to yourself when you have already been misunderstood and wronged. Start with understanding yourself! You envy others for their beautiful drawings and handwriting. Your present may not be beautiful yet, but it is precisely because you have the ability to appreciate beauty and a pursuit of it that enables you to recognize the beauty in others' drawings and handwriting. This also tells me that you have the potential to do something slightly more beautiful than what you are doing now. Your expression of unworthiness, paired with the energy and vitality it brings behind it, inspires me to desire better for myself. I hope you can transform this sense of unworthiness into motivation for wanting to become a better version of yourself. Start by truly understanding and accepting yourself, and shape the path towards a better you! Just like a caterpillar, after going through difficult times, it transforms into a cicada and sings and dances on the branches. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15524
       },
       {
        "question": "Eighth grader, recently feeling more and more tired, and even not sure what I should do.",
        "description": "Recently, all students are very busy, and I am no exception. It's fine in school, but every time I go home, I feel lost. My parents don't understand me and sometimes behave unreasonably. I understand that they are tired from work, but they always take out their anger on me. I really hate it. There have been many times when I felt like they were happy, but I had to pretend to be happy too, and when they were angry, I had to be their punching bag. My mom started working when I was in second grade, and her temper has always been unpredictable. From second to fourth grade, there was not a single day when I wasn't scolded. I love her, and I know she does it for my own good, but I really don't understand this. Even though I'm only in my second year of junior high, I understand a lot of things. I have thought about suicide more than once, and I feel like I'm too fragile, worrying about such trivial matters. But these emotions are really hard to control. My grades are above average, but I don't want to go to the best high school. I just want to go to a boarding school that is far away from home. I really want to leave this living environment as soon as possible. It's so exhausting. Will not going to the best high school mean being irresponsible to myself...",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I sense from the description that you feel conflicted about your parents. You love them very much but have difficulty accepting some of their behaviors. This is a common situation, and it's important to remember that parents don't intend to act that way. They also love us, but sometimes they don't know how to handle certain situations, which leads them to unintentionally take out their frustrations on us. Based on your description, I can tell that you truly understand your parents, but you struggle with accepting their behavior towards you. Here are some suggestions: First, try to show more concern for your parents in your daily life. They are going through their own challenges, so try to approach their temper with understanding. However, this doesn't mean you should tolerate their behavior. You can have a candid conversation with your parents and gently point out the issues they have while explaining how their actions affect you. They love you and are likely to accept your feedback. Through your combined effort, you can find a solution that helps them find a suitable outlet for their frustrations while also resolving your current dilemma. Secondly, the desire you mentioned to distance yourself from your family is something I have also experienced before, and it is normal. However, running away cannot solve the problem. Even if you temporarily leave home, you will eventually have to return, and if the issues are not resolved, they may resurface and impact your relationship with your family. Lastly, remember that the ultimate decision is yours. Whether you choose to attend a prestigious high school or distance yourself from home, it's up to you to make the decision. You are already in eighth grade and becoming more of an adult. Take some time to think about the advantages and disadvantages of both options before making a decision. This is just my personal opinion, and I hope it can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18054
       },
       {
        "question": "Because of some small things, I feel irritated, always wanting to get angry and throw things.",
        "description": "I always get irritated by small things and feel like throwing things. For example, when I'm cutting vegetables for lunch, I put them on the cutting board but they keep falling on the ground. Every time I pick one up, another one falls down. It's so frustrating and it makes me feel agitated. I even feel like throwing the cutting board.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you ~ I can feel that you are already aware of your emotions, which is very good. At the same time, I hope you can do something to relax yourself, calm down, and accept your emotions. We know that emotions are a very instinctual energy in our lives. In the process of our growth, some emotions often cannot flow normally because our parents or the social culture we live in do not allow us to do so. For example, \"No crying, I'll count to three\", \"It's nothing, stop throwing a tantrum\", \"You are being proud again, be humble\"... Over time, we will feel that some emotions are inappropriate, so we suppress them and become more and more numb and dull. Meanwhile, some emotions become stronger and beyond our control. In other words, there is a inner child in each of us, and this inner child is those emotions we cannot face and suppress. These emotions accumulate in our bodies, making some people more emotionally unstable and others prone to illness... I recommend you to do some meditation exercises, relax yourself, empty your mind, and allow and trust yourself more. Allow yourself to open up, allow more people to come in, learn to accept yourself, and treat yourself well. I hope this can help you, good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Give the OP a warm hug. From the OP's description, I can sense that the OP feels anxious about their \"always irritable\" emotions. First, the OP can take a deep breath and calm down. Regarding the irritable temper, it is easy for us to get trapped in such a \"state of mind,\" just like the situation described by the OP. In the beginning, we may think that a small matter leads to a bad mood, which can also affect the next task and increase the chance of making mistakes. And making mistakes can further worsen our mood, creating a seemingly endless cycle. In this regard, the OP can try to temporarily stop their actions when faced with an irritable mood, take a deep breath, or listen to some relaxing music to calm down before proceeding with the task at hand. The same applies to other things, which can help us avoid compromising our efficiency due to being influenced by our emotions. Another method is to redirect our attention in a timely manner in order to relax our mood. When encountering something that may trigger irritation, try not to dwell on it and instead attempt to divert our attention elsewhere, engaging in activities such as deep breathing to regulate our emotions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12375
       },
       {
        "question": "There are many people who have friends and no friends at the same time. They always have friends to do things with, but they are always alone.",
        "description": "A few days ago, I was diagnosed with depression at the hospital, but I realized that there were many things I didn't tell the doctor when I came back. Now I have two problems that are troubling me. Firstly, the doctor said that what I lack the most is care and attention, but there are people around me who are very good to me. However, the better they treat me, the more fearful and resistant I become towards them, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Why is that? Secondly, I always have friends, but I often feel lonely when I do things alone. Why is that?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I think your two issues are actually one issue. There is a type of attachment called anxious-resistant attachment, which perfectly aligns with what you described and what the doctor mentioned about a lack of care and attention. As an aside, the treatment plan the doctor prescribed should involve medication and therapy. You can discuss all your issues with a therapist. Remember to take your medication on time. From a quote on Baidu: \"An anxious-resistant child with insecure attachment appears 'distressed' when entering a playroom and shows relatively little interest in the new environment. They constantly worry about the whereabouts of their mother and feel extremely upset when she leaves. When the mother returns, they display ambivalent behavior, seeking contact and resisting contact, finding it difficult to calm down and exhibiting signs of unease and distress throughout the entire process. They do not actively approach strangers and show negative social adaptation.\" In scientific experiments and your work situation, it seems to fit perfectly, but I'm not sure if your inner state aligns with the case study. Like you mentioned, the fear of lacking others and being abandoned is a very scary thing. As you've been doing, rejecting others is the most effective way to punish them (subconsciously, that's what you believe), and you don't know how to ask others to give you what you want. You don't even know what you truly want, so you've never been satisfied by anyone, and you resent them for not giving you what you want. You want to punish them, and you believe that the only way to do so is through rejection, indifference, and disregard. You want to punish them for not giving you what you need. What you hope for is also what you think is the only capital that can punish others. You want to receive it, but at the same time, you hope they never gave it to you and are punished. So you do want to receive care, you want it. At the same time, you also want to punish others for not giving you the care you wanted. This is why you now believe that you are not worth being loved, and you don't believe that you deserve to be loved. You think that those who love you must have a reason for loving you, so you want to reject them. I don't have any comforting words, to be honest. Your current state is really consistent with your belief that you are not worth being loved, so your feelings are correct. You still hope to be loved and accepted unconditionally. This is a normal psychological need that every person has. So are you planning to give up on proving that you are worthy of love? To prove a false proposition, this is what you are doing. You probably haven't loved yourself yet. What state are you in when you are in that state? It's hard for me to say, and it's difficult to express the feeling. When I'm not loved by others, I realize that the most fulfilling love is the love I give myself, not the love I used to believe would fill the void. That void is called thinking that I am not worthy of being loved. How do I love myself? Here's what I do: 1. I am who I am. It's true that I am cold, just as you say. I don't even know how to love myself, so how can I love others? You are right. 2. I don't know how to love at all, even if I try to learn, it will only be a tiny bit of progress. I will love 1% and be cold 99%, which will inevitably hurt others and they will inevitably leave me. I don't ask you to stay, I just want to learn a little bit of love, you should leave if you need to. I'm not trying to prove that I am worth being loved, I am not worthy of being loved, and if you find that, you should leave. (Learning to love, in my shallow understanding, means expressing your needs and wants through non-violent communication. There are many books on nonviolent communication) 3. Life seems to have more than just the happiness of being loved. There is the joy of traveling, gaming, good food, the first time skydiving, the first time at the beach. Being loved at the beginning is really important, but as time goes on, I find other small amounts of happiness slowly lighting up. 4. Yes, in the end, life adds many bright spots and happiness, but the feeling of not being loved will never disappear. It will resurface from time to time, it's just that when I have other happiness, the feeling of not being loved is not constant anymore. It may come once a day, once a week, and eventually once a year. Yes, it will never truly disappear. But it only shows up once a month or once every few months. This is the past you, that unique you. It is the evidence of your existence, the youth you've lived through, no matter how unbearable that youth was, it is still my past.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, sending you a hug. From the description, we can understand that: 1. There are friends taking care of you, but you feel panicked about their concern. 2. You always have friends, but you still feel lonely when doing things alone. A little analysis and advice: 1. Although there are friends taking care of you, perhaps deep down you don't consider them as friends, but rather as outsiders trying to invade your life. Only those who you truly want to share your inner thoughts with and feel close to are your friends who can provide the social support and care you need. 2. Even though you always have friends, it's normal to feel lonely when doing things alone because friends can be there for us due to having compatible personalities and helping each other, not because they will have the exact same interests and hobbies for a lifetime. There are still many things in life that we need to do alone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14948
       },
       {
        "question": "After being called a fraud by my boss, I got into a car accident, and now the teachers at this institution are calling me a spy.",
        "description": "I have encountered many setbacks in my life. I don't know if I am sick, but currently I am unemployed. When I was young, I was afraid to speak up when my teacher punished me. At 18, some colleagues at my workplace were not very friendly. Later, I chose a major I liked in college, but the teachers didn't seem to like me either. They didn't bother to look at my assignments. My boss at work said I was a cheat for not obeying orders. Today, when I went to an institution for a class, the teacher even asked if I was a spy... I don't know where I went wrong... What else can I do...",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal conflicts and contradictions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug to the questioner, seeing so many things piling up, makes me really want to empathize with you. I feel very sorry for your life experiences. Throughout your life, you have been constantly negated, enduring various criticisms and negativity. Your lack of self-confidence and negative attitude towards life now cause a great sense of contradiction in your interpersonal relationships, and you don't know how to handle it when you want to. In your current experiences, I wonder if your childhood experiences, such as strict discipline from your parents or lack of love from them, and various incidents during your upbringing, have left you feeling lost and unsure how to navigate the relationships between studying, living, and friends, not knowing how to protect yourself to the fullest. Did that childhood experience make you feel helpless, so that in the process of interacting with others, you cannot be confident, but rather in a humble state? As an adult, there are more and more unfavorable things happening in your life, and you also feel anxious and restless deep inside. Are you really helpless about the unfairness of life? As I write this, I really want to hug the questioner, to let you vent the grievances in your heart, to let go of everything about the world, forget the unhappiness in the past, and let life get to know you again. I have a few suggestions for you to consider: 1) Communicate more with a psychotherapist, such as how to build relationships with others, how you approach relationships, methods, and organizing your language, etc. Let a professional guide you. 2) Read some books on interpersonal communication, such as how to communicate with others, what to pay attention to in communication, etc. Improve your communication skills. 3) Increase your confidence in interacting with others, believe in yourself, and be kind to yourself. Seeing your message, I think it is possible that there may be some deficiencies in your handling of interpersonal relationships in daily life. If we just pay a little attention to it in life, it will be fine. I believe you are fine, and everything will get better and better! I am here, waiting for you all the time!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18846
       },
       {
        "question": "How to help an 8-year-old boy who lacks confidence?",
        "description": "The child walks with their head down all the time, and they easily cry in a low voice. They feel nervous when reciting ancient poems and their behavior seems unnatural.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, student growth, child development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, I want to give a big hug to the questioner. The questioner mentioned that the child always walks with their head down and lacks confidence. I would like to ask if the child has always been like this or if it suddenly happened one day. If it has always been like this, it may be because the child is sensitive and anxious by nature. Parents can create a relaxed learning environment for their children. Try not to use a demanding tone to urge children to study, and encourage them every day. Avoid comparing your child with children from other families. One common thing Chinese parents tend to do is unconsciously compare and talk about their children's \"stupid things\" with others. Although parents may think it's nothing, it can leave psychological issues for the child and affect their self-esteem. If the child suddenly became like this, parents should try to understand whether there are people or incidents in school or class that have caused the child's situation, or whether the teacher unintentionally or intentionally said something about reciting ancient poems. Children in primary school are easily influenced by their teachers' comments on their subconscious and emotions. Finally, regardless of the situation, I suggest parents have equal conversations with their children, ask them about recent events and what they think, encourage them, and trust what they say. Finally, best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. 1. It is necessary to create a harmonious family atmosphere so that the child can grow up in a relaxed and harmonious environment, which will increase his sense of security. 2. Parents should encourage children to do things on their own and not do everything for them. 3. Parents should fully respect the child's wishes, even for something as small as choosing a dish, even if the dish turns out to be not tasty, there is no need for excessive comments, just respect the child's choice. 4. Establish clear principles and rules for the child. Reward and punishment should be clear. 5. Encourage the child to try, and even if they are not successful, encouragement should be emphasized. At the same time, parents should set an example, for example, performing with a confident style at home to show the child. 6. Allow the child to play with their friends independently. There is no need for the company of parents. I hope this is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for your question. The primary school stage is an important period for children to develop confidence. Good development during this stage is based on smooth growth in previous stages. On one hand, it is related to the child's own temperament. For example, whether they are easily crying and difficult to soothe, or if they cry loudly from the beginning. If these characteristics exist from birth, parents need to be very careful and meticulous in taking care of them. Sensitive children require a lot of parental attention. Encourage the child to complete achievable tasks and provide timely positive feedback. Crying is not a terrible thing as it helps the child release emotions. However, through discussions after crying, the child can gradually stop using negative thinking to understand what happened, especially when experiencing feelings of frustration. Please be patient and supportive instead of criticizing or blaming the child. Guide them to learn from failures. Regardless of how different your child may be compared to other children, please remember to encourage them. Every child is unique, so don't expect them to meet the expectations of others. It is the parent's responsibility to help them become a better version of themselves. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sincere and accurate praise!!!!!! The most important thing is companionship! In the process of accompanying, observe and discover his strengths, sincerely and accurately praise these strengths! Even if they are not considered conventional strengths, they can still be praised! As long as he completes or achieves something, give a corresponding response! Being a warm mirror for children is the best way to boost their confidence!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21459
       },
       {
        "question": "My son and I always clash with each other. Is hypnosis helpful for resolving problems?",
        "description": "My son and I always clash with each other. I ask him to study, but he says he will but doesn't actually do it. I don't allow him to drink soda, but he secretly buys it for himself. So, I feel that there may be some underlying issues between us. I want to try using hypnosis as a technique. If anyone understands, please give me some advice. Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between children and parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Children often rebel against their parents and have their own thoughts and ideas. It is important to find a suitable and reasonable way to communicate with them. Hypnotherapy is mainly used for treating mental and neurological disorders caused by psychological factors. It involves establishing a special trust relationship between the therapist and the patient through language and a specific environment. The patient is then induced into a special state of consciousness, where they focus solely on the therapist's information to achieve the therapeutic goal. Common training characteristics include eliminating distractions, total body relaxation, deep slow breathing, and repetitive training, all of which directly target the underlying causes of the illness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20071
       },
       {
        "question": "My mother is too controlling of me. My father passed away when I was 16 years old. I suspect that I have an Oedipus complex.",
        "description": "First, let me talk about my situation. When I was young, my mother took care of me more, while my father didn't take care of me much, but I was afraid of him. Later, when I was 16 years old, my father passed away. About a year and a half ago, my mother remarried. During that time, not long after, I had a dream about having a sexual relationship with my mother. It was just an impression, and my sexual dreams don't have any specific details. I felt very uncomfortable when I woke up, so I consulted a doctor, and the doctor said that I might have been too worried about whether my mother was happy. Then, a year ago, I had another dream. In the dream, I knew it was my mother, but it still seemed like a sexual relationship happened. There was only a little sense of it, no specific details, but I still felt very uncomfortable when I woke up. The emotions in the dream were not because it was my mother, but just a sexual desire for a physical relationship. In reality, I have never had any thoughts about my mother. During adolescence, I did have sexual urges towards older women, but it was only a sexual impulse. Of course, I have also liked people my own age, confessed to girls, and had sexual impulses towards girls my age. As I grew older, I no longer have such thoughts about older women. Sometimes, when I come across memories of those novel-like situations with older neighbors or something similar, I may have some sexual thoughts, but if I were asked to act on them, I would feel disgusted. I am a bit of a germaphobe, and now I find the idea of being with someone much older than me repulsive.",
        "keywords": "Growth, character improvement, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation. Using the perspective of a dream interpretation book, dreaming of having sexual relations with someone you consider impossible or haven't even thought of is a very common phenomenon, such as family members, acquaintances, or colleagues. The core of sexual intercourse is to bring two people's bodies as close as possible, merging into one. If we remove all the pornography, awkwardness, and shame, this image is actually very pure. Anyone who appears in a sexual scenario unconsciously expresses a desire to merge their \"characteristics\" with another person. The sexual dream occurred not long after your mother remarried, and waking up feeling uncomfortable may indeed be related to the doctor's statement about \"being overly worried about whether your mother is happy.\" Since your mother was strict with you when you were young and you had a closer relationship with her, it is unknown how her rebuilding a family has affected the care between you. Perhaps, through the dream, you expressed a desire to maintain an intimate connection with her. And being in a peak period of sexual desire, it is natural for you to sometimes immerse yourself in the fantasy world of novels and have sexual dreams. Dream interpretation requires some in-depth exploration. It is particularly recommended to do one-on-one counseling.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, there is a sentence that says, \"In the dream, the emotion is not excited because it's my mother, but simply a sexual desire for a relationship.\" It's good that you noticed the details of the emotions in your dream, and personally, I think your analysis is correct. According to what you said about your age, around 17 years old, it's a stage approaching sexual maturity. In addition, your mother remarried during that stage, which means subconsciousl",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have a question. I find those two dreams very strange, what do they represent? I have never had inappropriate thoughts about my mother. Recently, I dreamed about having a sexual relationship with a woman of the same age as my aunt, but nothing actually happened. I woke up feeling disgusted. I find that age group disgusting. However, my life experiences and exposure to certain novel plots have given me the impression that there is a certain allure to those scenarios, but in reality, I find them repulsive. In the past year, I have been in relationships with two girlfriends, and we have had sexual encounters. My ex-girlfriend was two years younger than me, and my current girlfriend is a few months older than me. We are planning to get married, and everything is going well in all aspects. Is this considered a mother complex? I'm really confused.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18630
       },
       {
        "question": "As a team leader, do you always ignore some people when it comes to submitting assignments?",
        "description": "As a team leader, I have a problem that cannot be ignored - I always neglect some people when submitting assignments, only submitting some people's work. This is terrible, as it seems to disregard others and be self-centered... um, that might be me. I often intentionally ignore people who can affect my mood in order to maintain a positive emotional state, and that might be the reason I forget to collect assignments... So, is there any way to balance both aspects? Orz",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In the conflicting social norms between \"taking care of one's own emotions\" and \"work responsibilities\", work responsibilities are considered more important than personal needs and emotions. (It is necessary to recognize one's own abilities.) Social norms dictate that judgments should be made based on actions rather than individuals, in order to maintain social stability. It is advised to create a window for one's own heart. In the face of people who can affect one's mood, close the window. Stick to professionalism, focus on the task rather than the person. At the beginning, it requires practice and self-persuasion. If the pressure becomes overwhelming, it is recommended to consider quitting the job.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11058
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old female, has had no desire to go out in the past year, what should she do if she doesn't want to go home?",
        "description": "I don't want to go out. I only reluctantly go out when I feel hungry. I feel a bit anxious when I go out by myself, so I have to prepare myself. A few years ago, I used to cry a lot when going out, but my mom ordered me to go out and buy groceries every day, so I reluctantly got better. This past year, it's like that again, but not as serious as before. And my mood hasn't been great this month. I've thought about cutting my wrists, but I dare not do it because I'm afraid of blood. I don't want to stay at school now, nor do I want to go home, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, avoidance, laziness, emptiness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you can also call me Xiaofan Guo. I wonder if besides social interactions in real life, do you have any other good friends on the internet? Actually, many people have social anxiety and are unwilling to communicate with others, but I feel that you are not unwilling to make friends, just worried about conflicts or unsure how to communicate with others. So, let's start with the online world. For example, if you have any thoughts or things you want to share, we can express them through writing, and then we can interact with other users. Through these discussions and exchanges, we will discover that there are many interesting things in the world. For example, we can talk about when you started not wanting to go out and if you have had any bad experiences. When encountering problems, how do you handle and resolve them? We can also list some anticipated situations and contingency plans, then analyze them in combination with the actual circumstances, distinguishing between what we imagine and what we actually experience, gradually developing self-solving abilities. Mom's request for us to go out and buy groceries is not a mandatory command, but a hope that we can try to communicate with others. During the process of buying groceries, you may have some interesting stories. Can you share them with Xiaofan Guo? Self-harm is indeed very painful, so can we find another way? For example, coming here to chat with other friends and share our feelings, together releasing the inner pressures. School and home can provide us with a relatively safe space. I wonder where you want to go and what you hope to find there. Let's discuss it together. The world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your description, I feel so sorry for you. Hugs to you! Being 20 years old is the most beautiful age, it's the time of youth, with love, going to college, working... But for you, it's not that wonderful. You feel anxious even going out, you have to work on your mental health or your mom pushes you to go grocery shopping so you can leave the house. In the past few years, you would feel like crying when going out, your emotions were very bad, and you even had thoughts of self-harm like cutting your wrists. Why did this happen? What happened... Did you drop out of school? Maybe you had your own dreams, what you wanted to do when you grew up, what kind of person you wanted to become, what kind of things you wanted to do... Do you not remember anymore? What will you be like in 5 years? What about 10 years from now? Do you want to live like this your whole life? Coming into this world, don't you want to shine brightly? Right now, you don't want to stay at home, nor at school, you're not feeling comfortable. If you're sick and need help, you can go see a doctor or seek psychological counseling. Sometimes, it's really not easy to face this world alone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4082
       },
       {
        "question": "My husband loses his temper in public, and I keep quiet. I feel like I'm being timid.",
        "description": "Today when we went out to play, my husband yelled at me loudly in public because I didn't notice our son needed to pee. I feel that this kind of behavior is really inappropriate, and he often does this. I didn't say anything because there were other people around, and I didn't want to make a scene. But deep down, I'm really angry. It makes me feel weak and defeated.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Teacher Cong said, \"Anger is because of fear.\" If that's the case, what is your husband afraid of? Does he care about his reputation? Is he worried about being looked down upon or mocked for not raising the child properly and letting the child pee in inappropriate places? He immediately yelled at you and shifted the blame onto you, distancing himself from the situation. It's highly likely that he is repeating the way his parents solved problems. However, he doesn't realize that losing control and shouting loudly in public is a display of poor manners and leaves a worse impression on others. When he calms down and is in a good mood, communicate with him about similar issues. It's not necessary to resolve problems in this intense way every time. Instead, solve problems when they arise; yelling won't make the problems disappear. If he really wants to shift responsibility, he can express it properly without the need for such aggressive methods to make others comply. At the same time, it's commendable that you didn't lose control of your emotions because of his anger. It shows that you have a stronger and more mature psychological endurance. This effectively prevents arguments from escalating and affecting your image and relationship. It also prevents harm to the child (here, I really want to praise the original poster for not transferring anger and dissatisfaction onto the child, truly a strong and secure mother). Solving the issue of anger means solving his fear. Find his fear, strengthen his inner self, and don't care about how others perceive him. Some problems can be completely avoided, such as when the child is too young and cannot control their bodily functions. Putting on a diaper when going out can save a lot of trouble. If the child is a bit older, teach them to express their need to go to the bathroom correctly and tell them to only do their business in the toilet, etc.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the host, your husband always shouts at you without considering your feelings when facing problems in front of others. However, in front of others, you still swallow your grievances to protect your husband's self-esteem, allowing yourself to be wronged. Your dedication is heart-wrenching. Not retaliating loudly against your husband can't be described as \"cowardly\", it can only be said that you are trying to compromise. Being able to do this shows that you have made efforts for your relationship, which is admirable. However, in a relationship, this kind of compromise may become a time bomb if it goes on for too long, with a stronger impact and deeper wounds. Therefore, I suggest that you can have a good conversation with your husband at the right time, express your emotions, and let him understand your feelings. I believe your husband should reflect on it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16236
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know if it's my own psychological problem or if it's my mom's psychological problem.",
        "description": "Female, 24 years old, education major. Before graduating, my mom was pushing me to take the civil service exam. We had many arguments about it, with her sometimes saying it's up to me whether I want to take it or not, but the next day she would force me to take it. I took the exam in the first half of this year and passed, but I feel even more overwhelmed now. During the political review, she started frantically searching online for information about it. (Once, I had an experience of not properly resigning from a private school because they unlawfully withheld my teaching qualification certificate.) Her search history was full of political review-related searches, and she would often ask me and even suspect my dad of having a criminal record or bad credit. A few days ago, the announcement of the medical examination results was posted online, and I told her about it and explained. Still, she continued to search on her own. The first time she saw a notice that wasn't for our region, and the second time she looked, her expression turned strange. After about an hour, she said, \"How come you were pushed down by one place? That person must have a powerful connection. But don't worry, the person in front of you definitely had a problem in their medical exam\" (I desperately explained that this isn't a ranking, and the medical exam was only because the person hadn't finished their re-examination yet). When filling out the family relationship section, she told me not to include her because she doesn't have a job. She wanted me to list my aunt and other relatives who work in government institutions instead.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Friend, I can feel that you're feeling wronged. Some of your relatives have achieved a certain level of success and happiness in their work and life, something that your mother has always longed for but couldn't achieve. She may have projected these inner expectations onto you, seeing your success as a way to compensate for her own shortcomings. This desire may be so strong that it disregards your feelings. However, it's important to understand that there are limits between people, and establishing those limits is a process of mutual understanding. First, ask yourself if you are willing to accept everything that has happened. If you can accept and enjoy this kind of work, especially because there are role models in your family, then you can accept your mother's approach as a way of expressing love through personal taste. At the same time, communicate your thoughts to her and make her feel at ease. If you don't feel excited about this arrangement, bravely express your feelings to your mother and ask her to respect your thoughts. Boldly expressing yourself is the beginning of setting boundaries. I hope everything goes well and your mother understands. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Before you graduated, your mother forced you to pursue a \"glamorous and stable\" civil service job, and she was very anxious about your exam results. She even asked you, after you passed the exam, not to fill in her information as unemployed, but to provide information about relatives with stable jobs. It seems like you have always been a tool for her to prove herself, and she has always controlled major events in your life. So, you feel unreasonable, but unable to escape. Is that right? From your description, I see a mother who cannot validate herself, cannot value herself, and even feels ashamed of her \"lack of social worth.\" Therefore, she wants to achieve all her perceived value through you. She hopes that you can obtain a prestigious job that will bring social recognition, and perhaps even a glamorous marriage in the future. In the past, you did not dare to resist because you relied on your parents for survival. You satisfied her expectations and appeased her anxieties because you feared being abandoned by your mother. But now that you have grown up, you feel aggrieved and angry about being used as a tool for so long. You have the impulse to resist, such as arguing, but ultimately, you still surrender. So, who has the problem between the two of you? In fact, it is the result of your joint efforts, long-term interactions, and the establishment of this pattern together. If possible, I suggest that you seek professional family therapy from a psychological counselor to explore the underlying psychological patterns for each of you and engage in some work and changes together. Your mother may have a very fragile sense of self internally, so I recommend that you frequently validate her through words and actions and satisfy this aspect of her needs. Now that you have grown up, you no longer need to submit out of fear. You can appropriately maintain your boundaries and make decisions about your own life based on your inner desires.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11843
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there no hope for a 16-year-old boy who always argues, even when he is wrong?",
        "description": "I am a person who is vain and loves showing off. I enjoy pretending to be someone I'm not, and I even argue with others when I know I am wrong. I want to have a high status in everyone's eyes. When I was 18 years old, I was still in the second year of junior high school. It was during the National Day holiday when I had a fight with my parents, so I ran away from home. It was my first time running away, and I was gone for almost a month. I thought I could make it on my own, but that period of time had a great impact on me. I was completely confused by this society and my understanding of money reached a new level. During that month, I barely got by, giving ten yuan to one friend and ten yuan to another friend every day. In November, I returned home and my dad made me feel loved. Suddenly, I also felt that this world could be warm.",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "A person who can withstand a great deal of slander can also withstand a great deal of honor. Admiring vanity is a behavior that many people have, but everyone's upbringing is different, so the way each person expresses it is also different. The asker's family conditions are good, so they haven't suffered much since childhood. If my guess is correct, the asker should have been a spoiled child who provided material things to other children, and the other children would try to please them in order to gain more benefits, which sometimes leads to a mistaken understanding of oneself. Actually, a truly capable person is not judged by how many people are around them when they are successful, but by how many people stand by their side when they are down and out. When I was the same age as the asker, I also envied those so-called \"kings\" in school, thinking that they were very impressive, surrounded by followers, and had many girls around them. Meanwhile, I sometimes felt like an ugly duckling in the corner. However, I have a few really reliable buddies, and whenever I need help, they always step forward. There was one time when I accidentally bumped into a troublemaker in school, and despite apologizing, the other person refused to accept and continued to push and make a fuss. Eventually, a few of my buddies couldn't stand it and a conflict occurred. It almost escalated to a physical fight, but it ended without consequences because one of them had a well-connected older brother. Everyone has a young and foolish period in their lives, so we shouldn't think that missing one opportunity means we will never have a chance to turn things around again. After all, if young people don't do some impulsive things, they're not truly young. We're only 16 years old now, and life has just begun. Since we have missed opportunities and experienced some turbulence, we now have a more mature mindset than our peers. We can also reduce the cost of making mistakes, so if there's a chance, we should still make an effort to try. If we have the courage to leave this world, can't we also have the ability to change ourselves? After all, what can scare someone who no longer fears death? The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a big hug. I think you're very talented, a young man who exudes determination, which will ensure your future success. However, at this age, it's important to focus on your education. You must have your own skills to establish yourself in society. Otherwise, no matter how wealthy or how many friends you have, you won't be able to sustain it. There are too many temptations in society, so I hope you can settle down and study hard. If you can't do that, at least learn a technical skill. Whatever it may be, it will provide you with a career in the future. Running away from home or stealing are immature behaviors. Take advantage of your youth and learn more things, enrich yourself, and make yourself more valuable, rather than being like those troublemakers. Hope this can help you, keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, are you currently in college? Many young people have run away from home when they are full of energy. From your description, it seems like you gained a lot from being away for a month and realized that life is not easy. In fact, your parents love you very much. Maybe you haven't felt the hardships of life when you were living carefree, but parents have to bear all the responsibilities. You will understand this when you get married and have children in the future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Now all of my previously good friends, my sister, and so-called brothers have left me. I can't understand why this happened, as I come from a well-off family. Even my parents have lost hope in me. Now, all I want is to repay my parents and live a better life myself. I want to make life more interesting. I also have a strong desire to leave this world and see where I'll go after death and what kind of experiences await me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I used to have a little brother who was quite grudgeful. He went around my hometown talking bad about me. People of our age group easily understand and don't think too much when they hear negative comments. As a result, everyone distanced themselves from me. I am someone who is afraid of being alone. When I had money before, those friends would always be by my side. Now that I don't have money, they all consider me a despicable person. In reality, I am well aware of what happened and why. From that moment, I felt my only growth; I no longer pursue fame and fortune, or engage in arguments with others. I simply remain silent, unwilling to argue with them anymore. Because I know that they are now in the same situation I was before. I don't blame them; I can only blame the world. From that moment, all I think about is how to make money. I am confident in my own abilities and have indeed earned a considerable amount of money. I also want to grow up quickly and start my own life. Suddenly, I feel guilty towards my parents for holding them back. I am sorry to my whole family, but most of all, I am sorry to myself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Since then, I would run away from a school within 10 days. This caused my relationship with my family to deteriorate, and I stopped studying. Because compared to the closed school, I was attracted to society. I regretted it later. At that time, I had many friends, but I only wanted to show off. Later, I ran out of money, and the support from my family couldn't sustain my reputation outside anymore. I felt miserable without money. In October, a friend told me that he was going to work in Myanmar and would earn a lot of money, millions and millions. He asked me to go with him. At that time, I had no money, and my family had completely lost hope in me. So, I went with him. However, when we got there, all we did was involved in telecom fraud. It was a scam. Because I was too straightforward, I didn't make a single penny from cheating. I had no achievements. When we returned in December, the company compensated us, including the cost of illegal immigration. I had to borrow money from my family. It was the first time I saw the cruelty of society. I was relieved I wasn't caught and safely returned to my hometown. However, what happened after I returned home made the burden in my heart even heavier. I didn't want to live in this world anymore.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After I started drinking, I had money. I felt embarrassed to have her around me. I often pushed her away. I would hang out with my friends at bars, clubs, and such. They wanted to get hotel rooms and I would pay for it. I never asked them for money. This kind of money was gone very quickly. Get alcohol, sell it. Spend the money, get alcohol, sell it. It was a cycle I was stuck in. Step by step, it led me into the abyss. There was one time when we were in her room. Maybe it was intentional, but we had sexual relations. But I still treated her like my little sister and forced her to do many things. Yet she still loved me and I loved her too. But it was the temptation of money and the laziness of human nature that dragged me down. I couldn't help it. I took out the Maotai liquor from both of her family's houses. Actually, at that time, there were a few social big brothers who owned pawnshops guiding me to go and get liquor from her family. I didn't want to harm them in my heart. But the abyss was getting deeper step by step. I couldn't break free.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "But it was also in November that I encountered something that would impact me for a lifetime. I met a girl. Because my family was well-off, I attended prestigious schools at the time. She loved me deeply, to the point where her mother had piles of Maotai liquor at home. She disregarded everything in order to please me and make me love her. She gave me Maotai liquor for the first time. At that time, a bottle of Maotai liquor could easily be sold for around 3,000 yuan. Each bottle in her house was even more premium than the last. When I first received it, I only took a few bottles. But the tens of thousands of yuan I received at the time led this 15-year-old boy down a path to ruin. Because I was mischievous at the time, she said she saw me as a brother, and I, with good intentions, allowed her to be like a sister to me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7084
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling very sad and dark, nothing seems to have meaning anymore, thinking about ways to end the pain through suicide.",
        "description": "I don't need anyone to persuade me, but I am wondering if there is any painless way to commit suicide. I'm very scared of pain... I just want to know the answer. I have been thinking about it for a long time.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, fragile and prone to tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Regarding this topic, Xiaofan Guo has also had similar experiences and thought about leaving this world, but did not want it to be too painful. At first, he thought about suffocating himself and even attempted it, but ultimately gave up due to the instinctive reaction of his body and the unbearable pain. He also thought about jumping from a height, but looking at the empty space below and feeling a bit scared and worried, afraid that he might not leave and become disabled, which would be even more painful for himself, and that moment would be very painful as well. He also thought about some accidents happening, with different thoughts and attempts in his mind, but he denied them one by one. He wanted a dignified way to leave, without causing too much trouble and distress to others. Although that kind of pain is sometimes momentary, he still worries and is afraid. In those dark days, he always felt that his sky was dim and did not want to communicate with others, and felt that he had no hope of change, as if the whole world had only him left. Looking back now, Xiaofan Guo does not know how he survived, but he is grateful that he did not take that final step, so we have the chance to meet again. I don't know if there is a way to leave without pain, because pain is inevitable. Some pain is physical, some is psychological. So, in order to leave without pain, can we try to wait until the last moment of life? After all, no one knows what will happen in the future, so let's persevere a little longer, okay? The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4069
       },
       {
        "question": "Crying when talking to others alone, trembling when there are many people around, whether it is classmates, parents, or teachers.",
        "description": "The single mother I live with practices a somewhat closed-off style of parenting and often resorts to moral coercion. She constantly pressures me to attend the high school that she wants me to go to, using reasons like her health condition and the fact that she didn't inform me about her marriage and the arrival of a man I don't know. This situation has been going on for two years.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "When a person is cold, they will shiver. When others see you shivering, they will ask if you're cold. When a person is scared, they will tremble and things will shake out of their hands. When a person feels guilty, they will tremble, especially when others already know they have done something wrong. When a person is happy, they may also tremble, shaking off the tension. Crying is a normal reaction when feeling sad or extremely happy. When these normal reactions are overly interpreted, it becomes twisted, meaning that the mind is in too much pain and the thinking becomes rigid. In other words, the brain is tired and needs rest, and the body cannot bear it and needs to relax. You are not a parent, just a child. Child, you have suffered. I hope all the hardships are worth it, and I hope you can ride the waves in the new era.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
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           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 187,
            "end": 217,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8388
       },
       {
        "question": "I have always wanted to break away from the therapist deep inside, and I don't want to continue anymore.",
        "description": "I have been experiencing with my counselor for over two years, but I have always been indecisive and unable to settle down and truly feel myself. Recently, this feeling has resurfaced, and I keep finding faults with my counselor. Upon reflection, I realize that this is my pattern, and the real goal is to stop doing counseling. So, should I continue to persevere or follow my heart?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. From your description, I understand that you have been unable to calm down and truly feel yourself during the two years of counseling. You want to end it, but you fear that it may be your own problem, causing you confusion. The goal of psychological counseling is to gradually free you from inner confusion, help you find yourself, and rediscover happiness. If you haven't experienced any progress or growth during the two-year counseling period, perhaps the current counselor isn't suitable for you. I suggest you temporarily pause the counseling and carefully consider two options: (1) Continue with this counselor: Express your counseling experience to them, reassess yourself psychologically, and establish new counseling goals. (2) Find a new counselor: End the current counseling relationship and seek a new counselor. Before starting formal counseling, let the counselor know your expectations and which counseling approach you would like to use. Find a counseling approach that suits you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "More than two years is not a short time, and the relationship with the counselor still doesn't give you enough sense of safety and trust. Is this pattern also present in your intimate or important relationships? This is something worth discussing with your counselor. You mentioned that your purpose in being \"picky\" is to end the relationship with the counselor, so what do you want by ending it? What is making you hesitate and find it difficult to make a decision to end it? Is this kind of hesitation and contradiction something you often encounter in life? Perhaps this is an opportunity to explore the object relationship patterns deep within your heart through the difficulties presented in your counseling relationship. When you see how the motivations behind your actions are influencing you, maybe you can choose more freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7252
       },
       {
        "question": "A first-grade child is very anxious and cries every day, saying they miss their mom. What should I do?",
        "description": "The child has started first grade. Normally, they are very cheerful. It has been four days since the first day of school, and they have been crying every day, saying they miss their mother! I have tried various ways to comfort and encourage them, but it doesn't seem to work at all! The child still seems very low-spirited, and even during the weekend at home, they are not very happy. I'm worried that this might have a more serious impact on their mental well-being! The child I see now is not the daughter I know.",
        "keywords": "Growth, development patterns, stress management, child development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! The new semester has started, and children who have just entered elementary school are still in the adaptation period for the first month. The second month is the adjustment period, and the third month will be another adaptation period. Some children may only start getting into the groove in the fourth month. For a child transitioning from kindergarten to first grade, she will face various challenges such as changes in the school environment, teachers, learning tasks, playmates, and behavioral norms. For example, in kindergarten, each class had two teachers who could take care of each child. But now in elementary school, there is only one teacher for the whole class, so it is natural for children to feel a gap and discomfort. Even as adults, sudden changes can be difficult for us to adapt to. For your daughter, she also needs to adapt to these unexpected changes. I suggest using the following \"six questions\" to help your child ease through the starting period. Firstly, you can ask: What did you do to help the teacher/friends today? After asking this question, parents can guide their child to activate their memory and reflect on their interactions with the teacher and friends throughout the day. This will help boost their confidence, sense of honor, and make them love going to school. Secondly, you can ask: Who is your best friend? Why do you like them? By asking this question, consciously encourage your child to communicate and interact with their classmates, and help them find their own best friend. At the same time, let them know the strengths of their classmates, establish values, and reinforce their memory of the positive aspects of school. Thirdly, you can ask: What interesting things happened in class today? When your child answers, don't rush to comment, but focus on listening and guide them to express their opinions. After they finish, discuss with them, which can increase your understanding of your child and convey the correct perspective and values during the discussion. Fourthly, you can ask: Is there anything you don't understand and need Mom and Dad's help with? This question allows your child to feel that you care and they can always come to you with questions, thereby gaining their trust and helping them open up, so they no longer resist school due to various unsolvable issues. Fifthly, you can ask: What games did you play with your friends today? This specific question makes it clear what to answer, and it ignites their desire to respond. The more the child says, the better parents can understand their child's situation at school and stimulate their interest in school. Lastly, you can ask: Can you teach Mom how to make the paper boat you learned today? Use specific, detailed questions to discuss topics that interest your child. Gradually, your child will enjoy sharing their daily school life with you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP!\u3010The child has started first grade. Normally, he/she is very cheerful. It's already the fourth day since the first day of school, but he/she cries every day, saying that he/she misses mom! I've tried various ways to comfort and encourage, but nothing seems to work!\u3011 Children are the cutest. You said the child has started first grade, it's just the beginning of the school year, and he/she cries every day. Could it be that there's something that's upsetting the child's mind, and that's why he/she seeks help from mom? Starting school is exciting for children because they're curious about the outside world. As a lovely mom, it's understandable that you have no resistance to your baby's crying. It's heartbreaking. At this time, I hope you can adjust your own emotions and comfort yourself first. If you are panicking and the child is crying nonstop, it's difficult to handle the situation. Although the child has gone through the kindergarten stage, going to elementary school and being able to make new friends can also be exciting. If the child cries every day, it's probably because he/she feels reluctant and sad about being separated from previous playmates or something has happened at school. It's best to comfort the child and sincerely ask for the reason. In addition, it might be that the child feels insecure deep down due to being in a bigger and unfamiliar environment with new classmates and teachers. As a mom, you can inquire about the child's thoughts on the new school, new teachers, and new classmates, and use descriptive imagery to inform the child about the advantages of the new school and new friends. Encourage the child and gradually foster independence in his/her mind, letting him/her understand that as a first-grader, he/she has the right to learn to make new friends and explore more interesting things. The most important thing is to make it clear to the child that mom will always lend a helping hand when needed, and he/she can share any joyful or unhappy experiences with mom and solve them together, without having to shoulder everything alone. Only when the child understands that mom will always be there, will he/she slowly overcome fear and anxiety. \ud83e\udd51 A very important point in life is that children can develop a sense of responsibility only by participating in their parents' lives. As a mom, you want to take care of everything for your child. However, for a child starting elementary school, the necessary independence needs to start gradually from gradually reducing parental help. At this time, you can formally inform the child that he/she has grown up to become a beautiful and capable little adult, and his/her own affairs need to be taken care of independently. Only through serious communication with the child and making him/her understand these principles and situations will he/she grasp independence and seek help from within rather than crying every time something happens. Because girls' hearts are more delicate and sensitive than boys', they are easily influenced by emotions in many matters. Therefore, they need even more independence and inner strength, particularly an open-minded personality. Children are all fascinating individuals. They have their own thoughts. Coming into this world, they experience many conflicts in their hearts and much confusion. As we tell them more and more things, they will have a deeper understanding of this world and their parents. Because \"cognition\" is a subjective term, they will see the world as we do. So please be patient with them, not just loving them. Many mistakes themselves stem from love, and spoiling and favoritism are the biggest stumbling blocks in a child's life. I wish you well, a happy and content life!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Hugs to you! From your statement, I can sense that you may be anxious about your daughter starting school. When transitioning from kindergarten to first grade, a child may encounter changes in school environment, teachers, learning tasks, playmates, and behavior norms, among others. Even as adults, sudden changes are difficult for us to adapt to, so it is also necessary for your daughter to adapt to the new circumstances. In daily life, we can guide our children to speak about what happens at school, to see if they have encountered any unhappy situations, and provide timely feedback on their emotions. At the same time, we can also communicate with the teachers to understand your daughter's situation in school, see what her state is like, and whether she plays with other children. Regardless of her mood, as parents, we should first know about her experiences at school and then decide what specific actions to take. From your statement, it seems that your daughter may be afraid of separation, which is referred to as separation anxiety. For your daughter, she may be afraid of leaving her mother. As a mother, you can let her know that you have always been there, and even though you go to work while she goes to school, she will see you when she comes back home. If possible, try to arrive early during pick-up time so your child knows that what you say is true. As parents, we need to have patience first, as we are our child's first teachers. We can share our own examples and experiences every day, showing our child bravery and perseverance, and encouraging her to be like us. As parents, providing comfort and encouragement to our children is essential. Additionally, we can find some picture books about going to school and read them to her during rest time. Through subtle influence, we can help her understand the lessons conveyed in the books. For your daughter, the sudden change in environment may leave her confused, and this may require the company and patience of her parents to help her through this adjustment period, and then slowly guide her to develop independent abilities. I hope these suggestions will be helpful to you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! I hope the following methods can help you with your child's situation~ As school begins, there is crying at the entrance of kindergartens, and parents' hearts ache. If the child doesn't go to school, there is a fear of falling behind in learning and missing out on group experiences. But if the child does go to school, they cry their hearts out, causing anguish for the parents. The child is attached to their parents, afraid of being separated, so crying is a very normal emotional response. When they come to an unfamiliar environment and meet unfamiliar people, the child feels lonely and scared, feeling helpless and wanting to escape the kindergarten and go home. To the child, school is unknown and vast, which can cause fear and a desire to escape. This is a natural instinct of self-preservation. For some children, it is not an exaggeration to describe the situation as a life-or-death separation, as if they cannot survive without their parents. If we continuously say, \"What is there to be afraid of?\" the child will feel like they are the only ones feeling afraid and that no one understands them. This will only result in increased fear and loneliness for the child. Only by understanding the child's fear and sadness can we provide the support they need from their perspective, so that the child doesn't feel alone in facing their fears. For children with separation anxiety, parents and teachers can work together to help these children transition through the anxious period. Shenzhen Xinhaiwan Psychological Counseling expert Ai Kunzhen has provided parents with some small methods for reference: 1. Transitional objects: Bring along a toy/blanket/towel that the child is particularly attached to and likes to school. The child's favorite toy can become their psychological reliance. In psychology, this toy is called a transitional object, like a trusted companion that provides comfort and counteracts fear and anxiety. The support parents give their child takes a long time to internalize in the child's mind. Once internalized, the child knows that even if mom and dad are not physically present, they are in their heart, providing a sense of reliance, security, and strength. However, for some two or three-year-old children, before their parents' support has been internalized, they need such a transitional object to accompany them when their parents are not around, providing comfort, security, and a sense of control. For teachers, they can talk to the child's toy/blanket/towel and interact with them. For the child, these objects are alive, with their own emotions and thoughts (the child projects their own emotions and feelings onto them). Patiently understanding and accompanying their feelings helps establish a familiar and trusting relationship between the child and the teacher, reducing anxiety towards school. 2. Patiently comfort the child: Parents can crouch down, hug the child, and say, \"Baby, you're afraid of being separated from mommy/daddy, right? Mommy/daddy knows your fear...\" This way, stay with and hug the child for a while (don't expect an immediate improvement in their emotions; each child has a different level of attachment and fear, so the time needed for comfort varies). When the child's emotions have calmed down, agree on a specific time and activity to do together (determine the specific details based on what the child likes the most). 3. Increase the child's sense of security: Get to know the children in the class beforehand and see if there are any children from the same neighborhood. Schedule playdates after meals together, creating opportunities for the children to play together. When a child has more familiar playmates, it increases their sense of security and reduces the sense of unfamiliarity towards school. Many parents love their children, and all their efforts and sacrifices are made for the sake of their children's better growth. However, when we don't understand the child's state, we can become very anxious and not know how to deal with them. Therefore, along with love, we also need to understand the child and respect their individual pace of growth, in order to better support their development.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can sense your distress from your words, and I sincerely hope that I can help you through words. You mentioned that your child is now in the first grade and used to be cheerful, but for the past four days since starting school, they cry every day and say they miss their mother. Despite your comforting and encouraging efforts, your child still lacks energy and isn't very happy even on weekends at home. September is another back-to-school season, a new semester, and your child has just entered a new environment and is exposed to new learning materials, which can definitely cause discomfort, especially going from the relaxed atmosphere of pre-school to gradually entering a learning environment. There's also the factor of spending too much time at home during the pandemic, so going back to school is bound to cause some post-vacation syndrome. This is unrelated to age; just like us adults, when we haven't done certain things for a long time, it takes time for us to readjust. If your child is usually cheerful but lacks energy now because of school, then we can infer that they are facing problems at school. Starting school means leaving parents' side, leaving home for school, and at the same time, we have to interact with unfamiliar teachers and classmates, and learn new knowledge and complete assignments. All of these can lead to your child's discomfort and confusion. It's really great that you can observe your child's emotions and seek help from the outside world, and I hope I can also help you, so here are a few suggestions: 1. Guide your child to express their feelings. Many children are not good at expressing their emotions to the outside world. Sometimes, they can only seek help by crying. At this time, it's up to us as parents to identify their problems and patiently inquire about their true feelings. 2. Find happiness for your child. When children come to a new environment, they need to get to know new people again. If they are not good at communicating with their classmates and teachers, they will encounter difficulties in socializing and feel lonely. So, they will seek out someone who makes them feel secure, like your child always saying \"I miss my mom.\" 3. Accompany your child in their learning. Going into first grade means that they are starting to truly learn academically. This is also an important stage for their education, which will determine whether they develop an interest in learning and lay a solid foundation. I suggest that parents can accompany their child in doing homework and provide guidance, so that the child can enjoy learning and find pleasure in it. 4. Communicate with the teacher. In a classroom, it can be difficult for a teacher to attend to the emotional needs of every student, and at the same time, parents may find it hard to understand their child's situation at school. Therefore, it is best for parents to communicate with the teacher. This allows the teacher to understand the child's condition and cater to their needs, and it also helps the parents to understand their child's situation at school. I hope this can be helpful to you.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello! I can definitely sense your anxiety, as my own child is also starting preschool this year. As parents, what can we do for our children when they leave us and enter into a new environment? Let's discuss this together and hopefully find some inspiration and help. First of all, let's talk about the psychological characteristics of children in the first grade, which is around 6-7 years old. According to Yale University's research on children aged 0-14, \"He lives in his own secret garden, full of melancholy. He may feel that others don't like him and intentionally cause trouble for him. A 7-year-old child easily imagines things in a negative way.\" This stage can be considered as the second so-called \"rebellious period\" for children, but from your description, it seems that your child is experiencing more of a separation anxiety feeling. In this situation, on one hand, you shouldn't give up easily but rather think that she needs you more than the school does. Eventually, children will have to enter their own stage of growth, and going to school is not only about acquiring necessary knowledge and skills but more importantly, it is about stepping into a collective life and laying a good foundation for their future integration into society. She also needs her own friends, companions, and friendships. At this time, parents should first regulate their own psychological state and not be so anxious, accepting the reactions caused by the change in environment. You and your partner can create a safer and more comfortable environment, making the child believe in herself. The premise is that as parents, you must believe in your child, believe that she can grow and adapt. Of course, this doesn't mean to be heartless parents, letting the child's anxiety spread uncontrollably. You can provide the child with some adaptation experience when you started elementary school, so that the child can understand that this is a necessary path for everyone's growth and going to school is not that scary. Make the child enjoy school, teachers, classmates, and the collective atmosphere. Clearly tell the child that she goes to school, mom and dad go to work, and who will pick her up after school, so that the child can study and live at ease during the day. In addition, maintain a positive mindset and communication with the school system, teachers, and believe that everyone has gone through this stage. Try not to express dissatisfaction about the school or teachers in front of the child. You can discuss it privately with your partner, which is more appropriate for quickly adapting the child to the collective school life. Be a learning parent, face it and grow together with the child. Finally, believe that everything is arranged for the best, and the world loves you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Children have just entered elementary school and are not used to the school life, so they may have difficulty adapting for a while. They may feel nervous, curious, and deal with new relationships on their own. It may be easier for outgoing and lively children to go through this process quickly, while introverted children may need some time to adapt to this state. In the face of this situation, parents and teachers should not be too anxious. \n1. Teachers and parents should cooperate and not put too much pressure on children. According to the child's situation, a gradual approach should be taken to help the child gradually adapt to the faster pace of elementary school learning. Teachers should also take as much responsibility as possible for the child's learning and homework, while parents should cooperate and not focus too much on academic performance. They should actively communicate with their children to ease their psychological pressure and overly sensitive traits.\n2. Let children participate more in society. For children who are overly sensitive, it is recommended that mothers do not take children out alone, but rather take them to participate in team activities and let them experience social life and meet different people. Through these aspects, help children expand their interpersonal relationships and adapt to society.\n3. Accompany children to read more books. Since the child is only in first grade, there may be some books that they cannot fully understand, but it doesn't matter. Mothers can read to them before bed. Generally, extensive reading will allow children to have a better understanding of themselves and understand reasoning. This is beneficial for broadening their horizons, widening their perspectives, and helping them resolve some psychological issues. They will gradually resolve internal conflicts through reading.\n4. Seek help from a psychologist. If the child is under too much pressure and neither teachers nor parents can solve it, the mother can take the child to see a psychologist. There is no need to be embarrassed, and the psychology department should not be seen as a psychiatry department. It is important to approach this situation rationally. Actively seeking medical help and seeking assistance from a doctor may quickly reveal the child's problem. This way, teachers, parents, and doctors can work together to find the right solution and improve the child's situation.\n5. Regardless, as a parent, it is important to unconditionally care for the child with love and regularly encourage them. Labels should not be attached to the child, and comparisons with other children should be avoided. By starting from the details of daily life, identifying the causes of the child's problems, and providing targeted solutions, children can grow up happily and joyfully.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your description, I can sense that you have some concerns, but mainly you hope that your child can quickly adapt to this new environment. The connection between mother and child is deep, and entering a new environment can be a big challenge. When transitioning from a comfortable and safe environment to an unfamiliar and challenging one, everyone will have some reactions, especially a first-grade child who may have difficulty expressing their feelings. Making the child feel safe is something we can do. 1. Adjust your own state and acknowledge her anxiety. Say things to her that she can understand, like \"Mom knows that you might feel uneasy in the new environment, but it's okay. Mom will be waiting for you at home and Mom believes in you. Let's face this challenge together.\" 2. Also, during other times at home, do things to increase the child's sense of security, have one-on-one interactions with her, and give more hugs. 3. Try asking about the good things at school. When the child can describe some positive experiences, the attractiveness of the school will increase. 4. Give timely rewards and focus only on the positive aspects. When she improves even just a little bit compared to the previous day, appreciate her and let her understand that she's making progress. Take it slowly, this process is not easy, but remember that your child is slowly transitioning and starting her socialization. It's a process of growth for both her and you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10668
       },
       {
        "question": "After waiting for a year and investing time and money, I found out that my name was not on the list.",
        "description": "I am a fresh graduate this year and I wanted to go somewhere to work and learn. However, my parents said that I haven't worked for a year and they have invested so much in me. But today, my name is not on the registration list. I really feel like I can't go on living anymore. I feel like my future is going to be spent in a small county town. It's really frustrating to not have a job after a whole year, and I don't want to live like this anymore.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, guilt and shame, vulnerability and tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the questioner. I have experienced a similar situation before. I was in my senior year when I spent several months learning and my family arranged for an expert to train me through connections. I passed the written test but during the interview, I found out that the competitor was the daughter of a unit leader. As long as I didn't surpass the other person by a large margin, they would prioritize choosing her. When I first learned about the result, I was devastated and felt hopeless. It took me some time to recover. [Problem analysis] From the question, we can see that both you and your family have put in a lot of effort for this job, which is why you can't accept the outcome. In addition, you don't want to stay in a small county and hope to move to a better city, so it feels even more painful now. [Understanding and analysis] 1. Because I have experienced a similar situation, I can understand your pain. The main reason I was able to move on was the comfort of my parents. They quickly accepted the result and comforted me. They also allowed me to take a break at home without looking for a job until I recovered. Therefore, I think you can talk to your parents about your feelings, and explain your efforts and distress. I believe your parents can understand and support you. 2. Apply the ABC theory of emotions reasonably. According to the ABC theory of emotions, the current unpleasant emotions are not caused by the event itself, but by our cognition. In your cognition, you think this failure is extremely bad and believe that it cannot be changed, which leads to extreme emotions. In fact, one failure does not represent anything. You have just graduated, and there are still many opportunities in life. After all, even people who have been working for many years like us may resign or change jobs due to dissatisfaction with work. 3. Learn to do career planning and utilize it to re-plan your career path. Since you want to leave the small county, we can make a 3-year plan to enrich yourself and at the same time pay attention to better job opportunities while working. Once again, hug the questioner. A major failure can indeed be a huge blow, but the most important thing is to analyze the problems and avoid making the same mistakes in the future. I hope my understanding and analysis can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello~ Hugs to you. Life is bound to encounter various setbacks and difficulties, but never ever think negatively. There are many beautiful things in life, such as the care of parents, the love of friends, and so on. But have you ever thought about what these setbacks can bring us? They temper our will and allow us to see our own shortcomings. In fact, these are things we can change. It's not necessarily true that putting in a lot of effort will yield good results. Without enough qualifications, we may not be able to persist until the end. So, there are still many things we can do and change. Although finding a job may be difficult, we can always find one eventually. Sometimes it's not that we can't, but that we lack confidence. Sometimes, it's not that we can't do it, but that our standards are too high. We can try to lower our expectations, start working, and gradually, step by step, we will achieve good results. Don't lose heart, keep up the good work! Good luck~ The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your disappointment, sending you a hug! Because your name is not on the registration list, you may feel that all the effort you put in before seems to be in vain. You feel very disappointed and defeated, thinking that you won't be able to make it in the county in the future and even have thoughts of not wanting to live anymore. Perhaps, based on your current experiences and knowledge, experiencing something like this seems like a huge blow, and you feel that your future is bleak. However, if we look at it from a longer-term perspective, from a broader point of view, no single event can determine our entire life. We often easily fall into a pessimistic and negative mindset, thinking that if we encounter setbacks now, there will be no hope in the future; thinking that the current situation is terrible, so everything else will be terrible too. However, the reality is not like that. If you don't believe it, look back at the setbacks you faced before, and now looking back, does everything seem trivial? Many things in our lives are like this. We feel that they are a big deal at the time, but after going through that period, the rain clears and you will find that all the anxiety, disappointment, and even despair were just temporary. Just as the ancient poem says: \"Mountains and rivers may block our way, but when the willows are dim, again blooms a village.\" So, don't be pessimistic, and most importantly, don't lose hope. Just focus on what you can do at the moment and wait patiently for the right time. You never know what might happen next moment, and perhaps, a pleasant surprise awaits you. Just like the saying goes: \"Misfortune may be a blessing in disguise.\" Maybe, not being on the list this time means that there will be better choices and opportunities ahead. Sending you another hug, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for bringing back memories of my early days after graduating. I also had a hard time finding a job right after graduation, and when I finally found one, it was challenging to get through the probation period. With each setback, it was inevitable to feel pessimistic. I would return home feeling dejected. The first few days were alright, and everything felt harmonious. My wounded heart was slowly being healed. However, as time went by, my healed heart became pessimistic again. In the whole village, everyone my age had jobs, and I was the only young person wandering around. How would you feel in such a situation? I gradually stopped going out, too ashamed to face the world. Being at home was boring, so I ended up lying in bed all day, unable to sleep. My parents started nagging constantly. Anger, discomfort, and pessimism filled my mind. How did I overcome this? Firstly, I had to build up my confidence. Regardless of how life kept knocking me down, I had to remain confident. I constantly repeated to myself, \"I can do it.\" Secondly, I had to be proactive. I actively sought for jobs, without setting my sights too high, without envying others' jobs and salaries. I had to have a humble mindset and be willing to start from the bottom. Thirdly, I needed to communicate more with my classmates. If it was possible to go out, I shouldn't stay at home. Job hunting with classmates would provide mutual encouragement and assistance. Lastly, I needed to have a relaxed and open mindset.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 247
       },
       {
        "question": "Refusing to grow in terms of parent-child relationships, what defense mechanism is being exalted?",
        "description": "I have studied psychology for many years and have always been entangled in my own family and personal issues, always wanting to grow myself. My relationship with my eight-year-old son is always awkward, but I refuse to learn about parenting courses, even resisting it. I know that the main problem at present is the issue of educating my child, but I refuse to grow in this area. What defense mechanism is at play here?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP ~ The impact that the origin family has on you is significant. Even though you have been studying psychology for many years, you still have a aversion to parent-child relationships! After studying psychology for so many years, I believe you are familiar with psychology, and it has subtly changed and grown you a lot. Some traumas cannot simply be forgotten or forgiven. Many times, we maintain happiness, but it's not truly happiness, it's just superficial. Psychology is a very good subject. If you study it well, it can help us solve many emotional problems in life and bring us more happiness. This requires a process. Original family vs parent-child relationships: follow your own feelings. The harm caused by the origin family has been a long time ago. If you want to study psychology, then study psychology. If you don't want to study parent-child relationships, then don't force yourself to learn. Parent-child relationships are actually about interpersonal relationships. If you become excellent and a role model for your child, they will naturally be close to you. Communicate with your child, tell them your thoughts, sit down with them for a serious conversation. You can tell them that you love them but you need time to adjust yourself, and hope they can give you some time. In life, you should do well for yourself, don't do things you don't like, do what you want to do, study other aspects of psychology well. It will be growth for you and will have an impact on your child!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I saw your question, I felt the conflict within you. At this moment, it seems like you are in a struggle between prioritizing yourself or your son. I have been studying psychology for several years and have always believed that personal growth is very important. However, because of the relationship with your son, you feel that learning about parenting is also important for you. From your description, it seems like deep down in your heart, you want to prioritize your own growth, but external pressures make you feel that dealing with the parent-child relationship is also important. Therefore, you are now caught in a dilemma of whether to focus on your personal growth first or to learn how to handle the parent-child relationship first. Is this the case? It seems like you are putting this choice on opposite ends. If you choose to focus on your own growth, it seems like you won't be able to pay enough attention to the parent-child relationship. And if you choose to learn about parenting, it seems like you won't have the time and energy to take care of yourself and grow personally. Is this really the case? Personal growth and the parent-child relationship are not opposing ends. Especially in relationships, it's the mutual influence between two people. I believe that your growth and changes can be felt and influenced by your child. So I understand that your reluctance to learn about parenting is not a defense mechanism, but rather a deep belief that personal growth is more important. If you don't grow personally, no matter how much knowledge you acquire about parenting, it won't be effective. Therefore, follow your inner self and focus on your own growth first. This process is not easy, and I wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 900
       },
       {
        "question": "I am now afraid of falling in love with someone because I am afraid of the fear of losing and gaining. What should I do?",
        "description": "In my first relationship, I placed my entire life on my ex-boyfriend's shoulders. We were together for two years and then broke up amicably. Now, during this blind date, I met a mature and outstanding guy. I'm afraid, afraid that if I start to like him, I will feel inferior, thinking that I'm not good enough. I'm afraid that I will depend on him, afraid of the fear of losing out on something, and even longing to lose it so that I won't feel this fear. But, I can't just choose to lose when I meet someone I like and evade it, right?",
        "keywords": "Love, affection.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. The mentality of relying on love and feeling inferior and afraid of losing reflect what? You said, \"I have entrusted my whole life to my ex-boyfriend.\" By emphasizing the word \"entrust,\" it shows a state of wanting to depend on others. In a healthy intimate relationship, two independent individuals should be together, not one person bearing the emotional weight of two people. You also said, \"When I meet a mature and outstanding guy, I am afraid and feel inferior.\" The fear of not being good enough when encountering someone outstanding is because you stubbornly believe that you have no outstanding qualities that can match them, and thus fear being abandoned. In fact, the definition of strengths is broad, whether it is fair skin, beauty, long legs, or being calm/funny/gentle/empathetic, they are all manifestations of different strengths in different people. Under the influence of losing oneself and fearing not being good enough, you develop a tendency to avoid love in order to avoid the idea of losing. So, how can you fill yourself and become confident and outstanding? It can be through small daily things, such as starting to learn a hobby like drawing/calligraphy/exercising/running, or by frequently fulfilling your little desires, like buying clothes you like/small toys/trying out your favorite food. When you start satisfying yourself and enriching your spiritual world, you are filling yourself, becoming confident, and gaining a sense of self-worth. You will no longer be an empty shell that always wants to depend on others and entrust everything to them, fearing being abandoned. On the contrary, a self with a sense of value will become a person with agency, actively choosing to start or end a relationship, rather than passively fearing loss.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010Love is beautiful, losing it may not necessarily be a bad thing\u3011\u3010First of all\u3011, those conflicting thoughts in your mind show that you actually have a strong desire for love. It's just that because you desire it so much, wanting to keep it forever, you become afraid of losing it. \u3010Secondly\u3011, love is beautiful. It makes people feel sweet, warm, happy, loved, cared for, and even protected. It is something that many people yearn for because it truly is something wonderful, and everyone deserves to have it! \u3010Thirdly\u3011, losing love may not necessarily be a bad thing. I understand that people are afraid of separation, the more we lose, the more intense our emotions become. But in reality, there are benefits to a breakup: 1. You can do things that you've always wanted to do but didn't have time for. 2. You can rediscover yourself and realize: Oh, so this is what I'm like. 3. You can readjust yourself because upon discovering the new you, you will be willing to adjust your thoughts and behaviors and continue to be true to yourself. 4. You can fall in love with yourself again. Many times, we neglect our own needs and desires because of external circumstances. Take this opportunity to see and fulfill your own wishes. \u3010Fourth\u3011, say \"yes\" to your original self. In a relationship, many people forget about themselves, just like how you magnify your partner's strengths but forget that you also have strengths. In fact, you are someone who knows how to appreciate others, but it would be even better if you stop denying yourself. You should know that even if you feel inferior, you are still deserving of love. You have already done well, and everyone likes you the way you are. \u3010Fifth\u3011, relationships are equal. Boys also have moments of insecurity. He is also afraid of losing you because you are unique. You have strengths and weaknesses, and so does he. \u3010Sixth\u3011, he belongs only to himself. Whether in a relationship or after a breakup, from beginning to end, he does not belong to you, he only belongs to himself. If you have never possessed him, then why fear losing him? The same goes for you, you only belong to yourself, you don't belong to anyone else. It's important to learn to set boundaries, not excessively rely on or possess someone. When someone has a strong possessive desire, they lose more, but by relaxing and letting go, they find serenity and gain more. \u3010Seventh\u3011, life is impermanent. Life is like a train heading towards the grave. Whether you like it or not, there will definitely be people getting on and off along the way. This is a matter of fate and also a plan of a higher power. It is something within the boundaries set by a higher power, and it is not up to us to control. When we get involved, we invite troubles. \u3010Eighth\u3011, you have done your best. Even if you lose, you have already done your best. Learn to accept that we are all human and have our limitations. But as long as you have done your best, there will be no regrets. It is enough to do what is within your boundaries. \u3010Ninth\u3011, live in the present. The things you worry about are things in the future. If both of you truly love each other, then take this opportunity to seize the present and try to build a relationship. Love, just like work, can be learned and developed as you go. Communicate more, be honest, and there will be fewer misunderstandings and less worries. May you enjoy the present, wishing you the best, Namaste\uff01",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title sponsor, Saturday, hug you! The shadow of the previous relationship has left a mark on your heart, causing you to worry and fear the next one. Since it has already happened, can we just accept it? Your inner instinct wants to avoid the possibility of further hurt by escaping. While accepting it, let's also understand that it is for our own good, okay? I believe you have already been able to completely move on from the previous relationship. What remains in our hearts is only the outcome and memories, which can also be seen as a growth experience, right? Your awakening has made you realize that relying solely on instinctive goodwill is not enough to invest in the next relationship. In this new relationship, he seems outstanding and attractive, and the worries of gain and loss are instincts trying to protect us in their own way. Thank them and confidently lift your head, telling yourself that you are capable of taking care of yourself and are ready for the next relationship. Regardless of the outcome, this is your choice, and you are the one in charge of your own life. Above all, the world and I love you! If you need further consultation or have any concerns, feel free to message me.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The questioner is right. We can't always choose to lose and avoid when we meet someone we like. So what should we do? The reason why we feel afraid and choose to lose is because we use our previous emotional experiences as reference and fear encountering the same results, thus falling into a state of obsession. Once we understand this, we can actively change our behavior, break the cycle of obsession. How do we do that? By recording our thinking process, there are three aspects to record: thoughts, feelings, and actions. This is because when in a state of obsession, it's often difficult for people to control their thoughts and feelings. Just like you said, \"When you meet a mature and excellent boy, you feel afraid. Afraid that after liking him, you'll feel inferior and think you're not good enough. Afraid of getting attached, and afraid of losing and being ambivalent.\" So, in order to break free from this, an important method is to separate thoughts, feelings, and actions, and break free from the interference of thoughts and feelings by learning to control our actions. First, learn to control our actions and then use the change in actions to influence the change in thoughts and feelings. So, how do we differentiate thoughts, feelings, and actions? When recording, you can refer to the following six questions. Firstly, what causes these thoughts? Secondly, what thoughts come to mind? Thirdly, what feelings do you have? Fourthly, what do you want to do? Fifthly, what did you do? And finally, what was the result? By effectively distinguishing our thoughts, feelings, and actions through recording, and then controlling our actions, we can free ourselves from the interference of thoughts and feelings, thus breaking the cycle of obsession and living the happy life we desire.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There is no right or wrong in life, only problems and emotions. When you insist on right and wrong, emotions arise, and emotions become problems. This is the first sentence. Facing problems and generating emotions, emotions become new problems, even igniting a series of emotions. This is the second sentence. Whether it's problems or emotions, the way to face them is to let go or accept them. Don't use tolerance and patience to replace them, thus covering up emotions and problems. This is the third sentence. Emotions and problems can arise in life anytime and anywhere. When you repeatedly practice the above three sentences, if you still have emotions, it's really necessary to generate more and bigger emotions and problems to awaken you. Let go and accept, everything returns to its original state. Continuously holding on, below is a simplest problem - paying the bill. This bill needs to be paid by yourself, but some people may never have the opportunity to pay such a bill in their entire lives. Let go of the past and start anew. Wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16272
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I feel very oppressed when I apologize and admit my mistakes, but still get blamed?",
        "description": "A year ago, I had a lot on my plate because I was taking extra courses and working part-time. I would stay up late and wake up early, which affected my dorm roommates' rest and led to a sudden outbreak of conflict with one roommate who I already had a strained relationship with. Because I was busy with my studies and gradually drifting apart from the other two roommates, the situation inexplicably worsened. Due to the exhaustion I felt both physically and mentally, I unintentionally exhibited some self-centered behaviors, coupled with my roommates complaining about me to other classmates, I believe that my peers also view me with a certain bias. But what I didn't expect was that the counselor and teachers also hold similar opinions of me, for example, the counselor criticized me through a voice message for being too arrogant and self-centered. For instance, this year, a new teacher I didn't know started our conversation by saying that I'm a very self-centered student. I'm actually quite confused and upset. I have always admitted that it was my fault to disturb my classmates' sleep, and I have apologized to them and tried my best to finish my work earlier and go to bed earlier. Even when the workload reached its peak, I would find a hotel or study room to stay overnight. It's true that I was in the wrong for disturbing others' sleep, but I feel really wronged. Now I feel like nothing I do has any meaning, and everything I say is considered low emotional intelligence and incorrect. I really want to escape from this world.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates, classmates, and interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, I feel sorry and empathetic when I see you are feeling distressed. From your description, it seems that your late nights and early mornings due to academic and part-time work have had an impact on your roommate's rest, causing a rift between you and the other two roommates. In addition, due to fatigue, you unconsciously made some independent decisions. However, what surprised and upset you the most is not only the judgment from your classmates, but also the criticism from the counselor and teachers, including the new ones, which has made you feel very sad and upset. You have recognized that your behavior was inappropriate, and you have apologized to them and made the greatest effort to improve. But this has left you feeling unjust, making you question the meaning of everything you do and feeling that anything you say or do is wrong due to low emotional intelligence. I can sense the frustration and isolation you are experiencing. Especially when admitting a mistake only leads to criticism, it is even more frustrating and suppressing. In psychology, it is said that emotions matter more than facts. The first thing you need to do is to release your emotions. Exercise or spending time in nature are good ways to do this. Additionally, \"writing therapy\" is also a method worth mentioning. It consists of four stages: releasing stress, filling inner voids, enjoying body and mind, and daring to create. The book \"I Write with My Heart\" is worth reading and practicing. Moreover, you can use mindfulness meditation to be aware of your emotions at all times and carefully observe them, allowing the intensity and strength of your emotions to decrease and become more peaceful. These two points are not only useful for your current emotions but also for your studies, part-time work, and even future paths in life. As for the conflicts with your classmates, you have already apologized, but perhaps it did not have the desired effect, and this is indeed infuriating. However, we cannot change others, so maybe we can think of a few more ways from our own perspective. For example, regarding the effectiveness of communication, you can read \"Nonviolent Communication,\" which uses the steps of observation, feeling, need, and request to more peacefully achieve your goals. The book \"The Art of Communication\" provides a comprehensive and systematic introduction to the principles and methods of communication, which may also be helpful. Relationships are the basis of everything. From your description, it seems that your current focus has always been on academics and part-time work, resulting in the impact on your current interpersonal relationships. It is not wrong to prioritize studying, but on the other hand, we also need to understand that interpersonal relationships are important in this world. Even the misunderstandings from your teachers may be related to not putting effort into building these relationships. We are social beings. Whether we are in school or enter society in the future, without relationships, it may be difficult for us to make progress. It is not too late to mend the fence. If you realize the importance of relationships, you may take the initiative to communicate with teachers and classmates. In this regard, you can refer to cognitive courses taught by Professor Li Songwei to improve yourself. I hope my response can provide you with some inspiration and thoughts. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From your question, I can sense your frustration and helplessness. Firstly, it is commendable that you have the ability to reflect and be self-aware. For example, you are aware that your actions have indeed affected others' sleep and rest, and you are willing to take responsibility by apologizing. These are aspects worth acknowledging. However, it is important for you to understand that even if you have done your best in a particular matter - such as trying to complete your work early and go to bed early, or not returning to the dormitory during peak workload to avoid disturbing others - your standards may not necessarily align with others. Each person has their own threshold, and these differences in standards are neither right nor wrong, just different. Even if you have tried your best, it may still be insufficient based on the standards of some people. I hope you can accept this difference in a heartfelt manner. \n\nSecondly, stereotypes are a common phenomenon in interpersonal relationships, which is why many people value social impression management. Perhaps it is not scientifically sound, but it does exist in reality. The initial impression you have given others may indeed be difficult to erase, as you mentioned, even with an apology. This is also an objective phenomenon. What I want to say is that existence is reasonable. Perhaps you feel that it is unfair, but the phenomenon of stereotypes is not specifically targeted at you, it just exists. We can try our best to accept this objective existence. \n\nThirdly, your feelings of frustration and powerlessness are, to some extent, a sense of frustration caused by a lack of control. Perhaps subconsciously you hold the belief that although you may not have done well in the past, you have now made changes and apologized, so others should change their perception of you. When this desire is not fulfilled, it can lead to deep feelings of frustration and powerlessness, and the desire to escape. I understand your feelings very well, but if you bring this subconscious belief into consciousness, you may notice that this \"should\" itself is an imagination. In simple terms, I am voicing out to the world, but the world may not respond as I wish, isn't that right? In the above three points, I have said some things that may be painful to hear, but they may be closer to the objective reality. The truth is often cruel and unfair from our individual perspective, but these feelings are only measured from our own perspective. From an objective perspective, their existence has its rationale. I often quote the words of psychologist Thomas Moore: the best treatment for someone is to shorten the distance between them and the truth. Perhaps these truths make you feel discouraged, but only by truly acknowledging their existence can our troubles truly diminish. Of course, this does not mean you should resign yourself to it; it means that I hope you can seek more favorable methods based on accepting the truth. Just as Romain Rolland said: There is only one kind of heroism in the world: to love life even after understanding the truth of life. You can try the following: First, step out of the feeling of \"nothing I do matters, whatever I say is wrong, and it's low emotional intelligence.\" Just as what I said earlier may be closer to objective reality, feeling like nothing matters and thinking that everything you say is wrong and reflects low emotional intelligence are your current \u201cfeelings,\u201d not objective reality. In life, we are often influenced by feelings and emotions, thus losing our connection with the real world. At such times, maybe you need to remind yourself on a conscious level that although I feel discouraged, I still have one freedom: the freedom to choose whether to accept this feeling and let it manipulate me or not accept it and try other alternatives. Your sense of powerlessness is a feeling, and you can coexist with it, but the choice to determine your own fate always lies in your hands. Second, try genuine expression and effective communication. The essence of genuine expression is sincere expression without judgment. You can express your feelings, expectations, and goodwill. Many people are unwilling to express themselves genuinely because they subconsciously believe that by doing so, they become \"weak\" and this perceived vulnerability triggers strong feelings of shame. But this is still a feeling rooted in early experiences, not a fact. In fact, only true courage allows us to face ourselves and express ourselves sincerely. Third, accept the real world and continually align your feelings with reality. I believe this is the most important point. When you continually step out of your own world, you will gradually see that every person in this world has different standards and perspectives, and they each have their reasons, most of whom believe their own perspective is the most correct. However, true experts know that there is more than one standard. Similarly, whether others accept or misunderstand you often has less to do with what you have done, but rather what they project onto you. \"We can only change what we can change ourselves,\" you have definitely heard this sentence, but truly understanding it may require more effort. We cannot control others' standards, perspectives, or judgments, but we can continually enhance our own cognition. When you can overlook the world, accept that life is a complex ecological balance, perhaps you will truly find serenity. Wishing you the best. I am Tang Tang, a nationally certified level 2 psychological consultant with a focus on motivational psychology. I am a contracted author on multiple platforms and also a mentor dedicated to spreading psychological knowledge. If you have any psychological issues, feel free to send me a private message.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the title owner is facing a heavy workload due to studying and part-time work, resulting in staying up late and waking up early, which has affected the rest of the roommate. As a result, the relationship with the roommate has become abnormally tense and gradually worsened. The title owner realizes that they have behaved selfishly, causing trouble for classmates. Although they know they were wrong and have apologized, they have found that they have not been forgiven by everyone. Now, everyone seems to have formed a consensus that you are a \"selfish person,\" even teachers who don't know you have made this judgment, which has made you feel very troubled and unsure of what to do. When I saw the title owner's question, it reminded me of a classic Japanese drama called \"The Wild Pig Transformation.\" The male protagonist, Shuji, was originally the most popular person in school, loved by all classmates. But in reality, he was working hard to maintain relationships with everyone and couldn't refuse any requests. However, due to a series of misunderstandings, such as being afraid of getting involved in disputes and not stepping in to help a classmate who was being beaten, Shuji was perceived as a \"selfish person\" by everyone, and his classmates began to isolate him. Despite his attempts to explain, it seemed that \"no one would believe him.\" Adolescence is a crucial period for the development of self-identity, and we especially want to fit in because being part of a group gives us a sense of belonging and worth. The female lead in \"The Wild Pig Transformation,\" Kotani, was not popular from a young age due to childhood trauma and was also subjected to bullying by others. But she was determined to become popular. In the process of being transformed, Kotani didn't try to please everyone like Shuji did. Instead, she had her principles, remained true to herself, and sincerely interacted with others, offering help. In the end, everyone liked the original Kotani. As for Shuji, after being isolated by his classmates, he discovered that true friends will always believe in him because they have seen the genuine side of each other. \"We believe in the people we want to believe in.\" So, although he appeared to have lost a large social circle, he actually had stronger friendships. After saying so much, I just want the title owner to feel a bit more relieved. If you have sincerely apologized, maybe what's left is not to keep emphasizing or forcing others to forgive you, but to use more concrete actions and gradually change everyone's perception of you, showing them that you also care about others and value friendship. Moreover, I believe there are friends who trust and understand you. Talk to them more, and you can also get a lot of help from them. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend: I read your story about the difficult relationships with people at school, and it's clear that you're not happy. You feel misunderstood and unaccepted. Sending you a hug. First of all, it takes courage to take responsibility for your actions, admit your mistakes, and apologize. You have also made concessions by finding accommodation in hotels and other classrooms, but unfortunately, no one understands or sees the effort you put in. It must have been embarrassing when the teacher publicly criticized you, making you feel like you're being discriminated against by those around you. All of these things have made you suffer, and you're afraid and unsure how long it will last, making you want to escape the future. But please don't be impulsive. Many problems can be solved. [Firstly] Release emotions and let go of all the pain. Since you are feeling so burdened and suffering, it's important to release it all. Find a place where there is no one and let out all the pain. No matter how grievances, painful, or sad you are, you can let it all out. There's no need to keep it all inside. If you feel like crying, go ahead, as tears can release hormones that can help relieve stress. Try to remove your negative emotions. [Secondly], understand and accept that you haven't been abandoned. You long for people around you to understand and accept you again, but unfortunately, they don't. However, don't lose hope because what you long for hasn't been taken away. You yourself can understand and accept yourself. Let go of the self-blame from the past, forgive yourself for your mistakes. Know that errors are also part of the learning process. Understand yourself well, see the improvements you have made, and accept yourself again. [Thirdly] Live in the present and let go of the past. Leave the past behind and draw a line between it and the present. Don't dwell on the past or let it hurt you again. Other people's opinions and comments are their own business, but at least don't mentally hurt and damage yourself anymore. Focus on the present, learn the professional knowledge well, and do your part-time job well. [Fourthly] Learn nonviolent communication. Communication problems between people often stem from a methodological issue. They think they are right, and you think you are right too. In order to argue about right and wrong, things can quickly escalate and explode. But by doing so, both sides hinder the understanding of the truth, as the explosion of emotions blocks the real exchange. By learning, you may not prevent others from blaming or exploding, but you can learn not to explode and instead speak from your heart. In fact, your article already shows shades of nonviolent communication, indicating that you have the potential to learn. Everything that happens has a reason. It's not trying to drive us away, but rather wants us to learn to change or accept. There's no need to be too pessimistic. The occurrence of events might not be as bad as we think; it's our worries that make it seem worse. I hope you can forgive yourself, pick yourself up, and become a renewed version of yourself! Best wishes! Your friend, Audrey.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello child! Seeing your question, first and foremost, I want to give you a hug. You are such a hardworking child, but you haven't received understanding from your classmates and teachers. You try your best to please them, but they become even more unreasonable. This is not your fault. You are a positive and proactive person. If you were to stay up late and wake up late with your roommate, I believe your inner struggle would only intensify. It's reasonable to say that staying up late and getting up early can balance studying and part-time work. Your classmates may not understand, but the teachers should not act this way. They should be concerned about you, after all, it's a normal way of thinking that people should understand. But they haven't done so. As teachers, they should encourage students to progress and inspire them to strive for excellence. As we enter higher education, it's not just about learning textbook knowledge, but also gradually interacting with society. This is a transitional period with society. If we unite well, it will be easier for you to adapt to society and have a better life. This requires us to grasp it ourselves. Taking on part-time jobs is a good way to interact with society in advance and understand how society operates. This way, when you truly leave the campus, you won't be afraid of feeling lost or directionless, nor will you worry about struggling to survive or casually taking any job to get by. You can also earn some money while doing part-time work. Do what you think is right. Have you heard of the 80/20 rule? Eighty percent of the world revolves around the other twenty percent. Although you don't know if you will be part of that twenty percent in the future, at least your current efforts will someday reward you. Stick to doing what you love without being influenced. Try to do it in a way that everyone can accept, like renting a hotel, to show that you are someone who can persist, endure hardships, and have ideas. You don't need to feel distressed or even give up yourself like others just because others don't understand. You can try to communicate with teachers and classmates and tell them your thoughts, but if you still can't gain their understanding, you can't change yourself because of it. Be yourself, and it's the one who laughs last that wins. You don't need to care about others' words. A person who dares to dream and work hard is worth being treated gently by society. I hope you can persevere for your goals. Cheer up, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. Regarding your classmates' criticism, you can accept and understand it. However, you find it difficult to accept the voice messages from your counselor and teachers, as they came off as arrogant and full of self-pride. Thus, you are feeling resistant. You can try thinking like this: You once hoped that they (counselor and teachers) would encourage you and tell you that hard work always pays off. This expectation was shattered by the reality of their voice messages, and the contrast was too great. You are simply unable to accept it for now, and you admit feeling helpless and disappointed. Regarding the labels that they have attached to you, whether they are too proud or self-centered, it is their affair. Don't bother trying to understand it. You are a responsible and capable person. You did not ignore your classmates' criticism and took the initiative to apologize to them, which is excellent. You have already explained things to your classmates, so just do it as you said they agreed. Your current situation is called awkwardness, not confusion or discomfort! Do you agree?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can relate to your situation because I was experiencing the same thing a year ago. Dormitory problems have always been a big issue in schools. After all, everyone in the dormitory comes from different backgrounds and has different personalities. The main problem now is that you are unable to integrate into the dormitory. Moreover, the interaction between classmates has affected the teacher-student relationship, making you doubt your own abilities. Now, let me share my thoughts on this. First, if it's really difficult to fit in the dormitory, consider changing to a different one. Second, communicate with your counselor. Rumors spread quickly, and only by confronting them face-to-face can you prevent situations where teachers who have never met you misunderstand you. Third, if you really can't adapt to communal living, try renting a place near the school. If your budget is tight, consider sharing the rent with someone. These three points are for your reference. Don't feel upset about this, as you have already apologized for your mistakes and made changes in your behavior. It proves that you are a good child who can correct your mistakes. But I also know that words can be a double-edged sword that can hurt others. Right now, it is important to quickly resolve the teachers' perception of you and the dormitory problem. Take some time to calmly communicate this with your counselor and trust in your teachers. Also, if your school has a counseling center, make an appointment. The counselor will keep it confidential, and it would be better to share your thoughts and feelings. Don't worry too much about others' opinions, as some roommates can only be roommates. In the eyes of a hundred people, there are a hundred different versions of you and a hundred different perspectives on the same matter. Like the psychologist Alfred Adler said: \"Even the most perfect person still has multiple people saying unkind things about them.\" When we are anxious and not understood, we can take comfort in the fact that psychology understands us. So let's keep moving forward, as difficulties are only temporary. I wish you the best in resolving these troubling issues as soon as possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Some classmates and teachers have indeed been a bit excessive in their words and actions. I truly understand your grievances and I also greatly appreciate your dedication and perseverance in your studies and work! In fact, you have a strong vitality and temperament type. Sometimes, you may unintentionally neglect the feelings of those around you. What is commendable is that you are willing to face your mistakes with sincerity. It's just that everyone's impression of you still remains in the old stereotypes. I believe that if you continue to persevere, they will see another side of you, and you will also be able to see another side of them. Everyone is multi-faceted, just like a diamond. As long as you wash off the dust, you will shine brightly. I believe in you! I have high hopes for you! Keep it up! ^0^~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, You were already aware that your behavior may have caused inconvenience to your roommates and promptly took the initiative to apologize for your actions. However, you did not receive understanding from your roommates and even faced more disapproval from teachers and classmates. This made you feel sad, confused, and wronged because you have been trying to consider others' feelings and have made many concessions and adjustments. I can understand your feelings of grievance and frustration. For a situation like this, we can only decide our own attitude towards it, and we cannot know or control how others think. In other words, as long as we believe that what we have done is sincere and right, that is enough. There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's hearts, so don't pay too much attention to others' opinions, words, and thoughts because you will never be able to satisfy everyone. Also, our attitude towards a situation is always accompanied by our inner emotions. If you have actively apologized and have been considering your roommates' feelings and making adjustments to your life, but they still give you a hard time, have you noticed if your emotions conveyed through your words and actions at that time gave them a negative and insincere impression?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1125
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel uncomfortable as soon as I arrive at work. What should I do if I am allergic to work?",
        "description": "At first, I thought I was allergic to formaldehyde in the classroom. My neck felt tight and my hair stood on end. When I felt uncomfortable, I couldn't breathe properly. Later, I went to the hospital for examination and found out that it was due to excessive psychological stress. Whenever I was in class, I felt uncomfortable, just thinking about things in class made me feel uneasy. Even after work, I still couldn't relax because of the issues at work. For example, unfair treatment by the class monitor, leaders giving me difficult tasks, and not knowing how to greet people I interact with at work. I feel angry and blame myself at the same time. The main problem is that I can't control my physical reactions, my neck feels uncomfortable and I get headaches. However, as soon as I leave the classroom environment, I feel much better. I want to take a leave of absence, but I don't know what reason to give. I don't know what kind of job to look for because I have no strengths, abilities, good image, or good social skills. I also have poor physical endurance, and I recently injured my ligament. I am currently in a state of helplessness and despair. If I lose my job and can't find another one, I'm afraid I will become even more anxious. Even having food to eat will become a problem.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, Career Management, Work Stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand the stress and difficulties that work and interpersonal relationships can bring to you. You also experience physical pain as a physiological response to psychological stress, and you fear not being able to find another job, which causes you anxiety. Regarding your current situation and mindset, let's analyze it together and try to find a breakthrough. Problem analysis: You experience headaches and difficulty breathing whenever you are at work, and medical examinations have confirmed that it is caused by psychological factors. You feel helpless and self-blame due to the unfairness at work and your inability to handle interpersonal relationships with colleagues. The physical discomfort is an external manifestation of your inner struggle and reminds you that changes need to be made. However, your first thought is to avoid it, take a leave of absence, and find another job, which only increases your anxiety. You are uncertain about what reason to give for taking leave and afraid of not finding a new job. The unfairness at work is an uncontrollable external factor, while establishing relationships with colleagues and improving skills and appearance are controllable internal factors. Your pain stems from a lack of control over life, which leads to existential anxiety. You overlook the fact that you can improve and take control of things through your own efforts. Suggestions: 1. Don't get too caught up in uncontrollable external factors. Focus on doing your own work well. However, if you find it difficult to accept the unfairness at work and the company's corporate culture, leaving the current environment and finding a company that aligns with your values is the best choice. You can continue working while seeking other job opportunities. 2. Focus on what you can control. Don't attribute your current situation to bad luck. If you are physically weak, you can strengthen your body through exercise. If your skills are lacking, you can focus on skill improvement and become an excellent person. If your appearance is not good, you can dress neatly and cleanly. When you take responsibility for your life, you will have more opportunities for choices. 3. To deal with your current anxiety, you can actively cope with it through exercise, mindfulness meditation, and most importantly, facing the challenges in life. When you regain a sense of control over yourself and become proactive, you will have the confidence to bring about change.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
            "start": 312,
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           {
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the immense psychological pressure has caused severe physical reactions in you. In my opinion, some of this psychological pressure indeed comes from external sources, but most of it comes from yourself. From your text, I read the following traits in you: 1. You do not have clear boundaries between work and life, often allowing work to affect your personal life. 2. You have shortcomings in handling interpersonal relationships. 3. You lack confidence and have low self-worth, filled with anxiety about the future. 4. You tend to attribute problems internally when confronted with them. These traits are gradually developed during our growth process and are the result of everyone adapting to the environment at that time. When the surrounding environment changes, our coping patterns also need to change. If we rigidly adhere to our old coping patterns without distinction, not only will we not be able to cope with current difficulties, but it will also cause internal conflicts and discomfort. Therefore, it is necessary to make self-adjustments to our coping patterns. Here are some suggestions: 1. Change your beliefs. What triggers our emotions is not the event itself, but our perception of the event. When faced with events that trouble us, if we can change our perspective or switch roles to look at the situation, we may have a different discovery and perhaps gain a different understanding of the event. 2. Make adjustments in behavior. It is necessary to reflect on ourselves in a timely manner and constantly monitor our emotions. When emotional reactions have already occurred, we can use methods such as deep breathing, redirecting our attention, and engaging in activities that make us happy to timely liberate ourselves from negative emotions. 3. Make changes in problem-solving approaches. Usually, there are more than three solutions to every problem. One correct approach to problem-solving is \"effective thinking, reasonable action, and timely adjustment.\" When we can control our emotions and calmly face problems, we have the best beginning to solving them. After effective thinking, the action plan derived needs to be implemented. This plan may not be something we are good at, so we need to execute it through reasonable actions instead of letting it remain just a plan. Finally, after taking action, it is necessary to summarize in a timely manner, confirm the effectiveness, and if the result is not satisfactory, make timely adjustments and redevelop the plan. Through these adjustments, we can solve troubles promptly when encountering them, and I believe you will gradually build confidence and a sense of self-worth. If you still struggle to make adjustments, you can seek professional psychological counseling. Additionally, regarding the work issues you described, here are two points for your reference: 1. Accept the problems you are facing and communicate with your stable-minded workplace leaders, describing the difficulties you are encountering (as objective facts rather than personal judgments), such as the physiological reactions that occur when entering your current job position or practical difficulties you have encountered. Seek solutions through communication with your leaders. 2. Make a long-term career plan for yourself (you can seek help from professionals), clearly define your future direction and methods of achievement, and then pursue it unwaveringly. I hope the above is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can see that you feel helpless and desperate, and it pains me to see that. I want to give you a big hug, and another hug, and another hug. \"Feeling uncomfortable as soon as you arrive at work and being allergic to work,\" \"Even after work, you still can't get over the issues from work,\" \"Feeling angry while also feeling guilty. The main issue is that I can't control my physical reactions, and I feel uncomfortable in my neck and have headaches.\" What a terrible experience. The fact that you can endure in such an environment where your body, emotions, and thoughts are so uncomfortable shows how much courage and endurance you have. I want to give you a big thumbs up. When you mentioned feeling \"helpless and desperate,\" if you were to rate these feelings on a scale of 0-10, with 0 being the best and 10 being the worst, what score would you give yourself in your current state? If it is a low score, then you can continue to persevere and find a breakthrough. However, based on your descriptions of your body, emotions, and thoughts, it seems like you're on the verge of a breakdown. So, do you still need to persevere, or is this perseverance pointless? This is something you should think about. In this bad state, it seems uncomfortable to continue, but if you don't continue, you worry about not being able to find another job. In everyday life, there is a way of thinking called \"stop-loss thinking.\" \"Stop-loss,\" usually referred to as \"cutting losses,\" is mainly used in investment areas and refers to a protective behavior that aims to avoid greater losses. \"Stop-loss thinking\" allows us to stop our current actions in a timely manner to avoid greater losses later on. It sets a red line for our goals, and once we cross that red line, no matter how much effort we have put into something, we need to immediately make changes. In your current state, when your work is seriously affecting your work-life balance, you can set a stop-loss line, such as continuing for another month or two, and if it still doesn't meet your expectations, immediately switch jobs. I once held a leadership role for two years and experienced something similar to what you're going through. In a situation where I couldn't continue to persevere, I resolutely chose to resign and start over. Maybe if I had continued to persevere, I wouldn't be here discussing this issue with you. Stopping on the wrong path is progress; every extra second spent on the wrong thing is a waste of time. If you feel the need, take a good rest. Taking a good rest is for a better life. I can sense your pain when you say \"I don't know what job to look for because I have no strengths, abilities, good appearance, or good interpersonal skills, and I am not physically fit either. I injured my ligament recently.\" I don't know who gave you such a terrible evaluation. If it was yourself, since when have you had so many negative assessments of yourself? There is a book called \"One Thought Turns the Tide\" that asks four questions. You can ask yourself: Is it true? Can you be certain that it is true? How do you react when you hold this thought? Can you find a reason to let go of that thought? Can you find a reason to hold that thought without anxiety? What kind of person are you without that thought? At least, from the beginning of my response, I can tell that you are a brave person. Being able to identify and express your confusion smoothly indicates that you are resourceful and seek help. In a situation where even eating may be a problem, you offered a reward of 10 yuan. In your daily life, you may be a generous person. Seeking help proactively shows that you have a strong inner drive. Just from this paragraph, I can see that you have so many strengths, but you can't see them. You need to cherish and embrace yourself. Zhang Defen, a famous author, said, \"Dear, there is no one outside, only yourself.\" So, who allows you to evaluate yourself like this? Who lets you see the world in such a dim way? Is it your parents, your teachers, or someone else? What kind of people and experiences have you encountered from childhood to now? Actually, it doesn't matter who has evaluated you in the past, and it doesn't matter how you used to view yourself. You just need to know that it's not your fault now, and it wasn't your fault in the past. You formed and accepted these evaluations because you wanted to live well, even if it meant enduring humiliation and carrying a heavy burden. I give you another thumbs up for your bravery and hard work. You have grown up and can determine your own life and perceptions. You can heal yourself. From now on, start loving yourself. You can read countless books, travel thousands of miles, meet countless people, seek guidance from experts, or seek enlightenment on your own. When your perspective broadens, the world becomes bigger, and when you change, the world changes. I hope my response can give you some food for thought and guidance. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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          "answer_text": "It sounds like you may be feeling frustrated, angry, and suppressed in your work, which is leading to your current physical symptoms. Let's try a couple of strategies: 1) Continue working, but if the physical symptoms persist, consider using medication to provide relief. 2) Learn to switch perspectives or find solutions: unfair treatment from a supervisor - there are many instances of unfairness in the workplace, and sometimes we are powerless to change it. At these times, we need to ask ourselves why we insist on fairness and which past experiences are connected to the discomfort we feel. Apart from enduring it, are there any other options, such as appealing to the company's resources or talking to the HR department or leadership? Of course, these complaints can be kept confidential. If everyone's feedback can explain that it is not unfair, your thinking should adjust, and your anxiety will reduce. 3) If possible, seek out a mental health consultant. 4) Try to find a breakthrough point. In the workplace, not liking your boss, not getting along with colleagues, and struggling with communication can make your work environment lonely, have you noticed? Consider which direction could lead to a breakthrough. Otherwise, in such a social setting, you will lose a lot of support, and it's easy to imagine that your work won't go well. 5) Stop blaming and criticizing yourself because it is not only useless but also decreases your energy and increases anxiety. A better approach is to find three or more options for yourself in the face of setbacks and consider how you can make things better. This requires practicing repeatedly in daily life to enhance your mental resilience. Overall, you may need to focus on personal growth, such as emotional management and adapting to the workplace, to alleviate anxiety. There is a meditation platform called Mindfulness Planet that you can check out \u2013 it may help improve self-confidence and reduce anxiety.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010Finding Yourself and Feeling More Clear-minded\u3011Dear friend: Good evening! I can sense that you are very worried, anxious, and have lost confidence. At the same time, you really want to break free from your current troubles. You feel like you have no strengths and are afraid of not being able to find a job, all because you have lost confidence and don't trust in your own worth. Your health is not good either, which makes you even more concerned. Let's tackle each issue one by one. \u3010First\u3011Regarding the unfair treatment from your team leader, who made you wear children's clothing? If it was done by them, either talk to them about the impact their behavior has on you, or if you can't change it, then just ignore it. Don't worry about things that are beyond your control; instead, focus on keeping your own state of mind clear. \u3010Second\u3011Returning to yourself: 1. Recognize your own strengths and worth; if you can't see them, then go and discover them. Think about your strengths, recognize them, and appreciate them. 2. Believe in yourself unconditionally, without needing any evidence; just have faith in yourself. Believe in yourself when faced with setbacks, and believe in yourself when you succeed. 3. Take good care of your body, see a doctor, or take some time to rest; don't let yourself get hurt any further. \u3010Third\u3011If you have evaluated the pros and cons, then go ahead and make a decision. Whether you quit or stay doesn't really matter; what really matters is that you believe in yourself. However, don't excessively feed negativity into your mind. You can make assumptions, you can assess the risks, but don't be overly pessimistic. Such negative suggestions can affect your performance. In fact, I have also experienced workplace unfairness and being targeted unfairly, and I have heard others intentionally creating such situations, and my friends have also encountered them. It's not to say that it's good, but rather that it's not uncommon. However, the more you encounter such situations, the more resilient you become in facing the pressure. Remember, some things are just troubles, and once you separate yourself from them, you will feel much clearer and find yourself again. Your friend, Audrey.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, I understand your allergies and troubles. Sending you a powerful hug~ Due to work stress, many people suffer from similar mental health issues, but the symptoms may vary. Some people may feel physical discomfort, others may become irritable, and some may experience confused thinking. Does it resemble a child's reluctance to go to school? I would like to give you some specific advice in the hopes that it will be helpful. [1] First of all, accept the current situation and carry medication with you. Your physical discomfort can be seen as a physical manifestation of workplace stress and a form of psychosomatic illness. Anxiety, workplace pressure, and disharmonious interpersonal relationships in the workplace can all lead to these symptoms. For the time being, if you can carry medication with you, try to see if it will improve your condition. At least it can alleviate the physical discomfort. At this point, medicine acts as a placebo. Additionally, when you feel uncomfortable at work, do you have the opportunity to take a break and relax for a while? Take a break from work every couple of hours? Knowing that it is caused by stress, and as we temporarily cannot leave this environment, it might be worth trying to accept it and see if there is any improvement. There was a time when I had difficulty breathing in crowded and enclosed places. I read many books and started carrying medicine, knowing that it wasn't so severe. I stopped placing too much emphasis on it in my mind and with a little medication, things gradually improved. [2] Try changing your perspective on the workplace. Many people feel helpless because there are indeed unfair phenomena that exist, and when we cannot change certain things, the pressure and sense of helplessness become stronger. Since we are currently still weak, let's focus less on these things that we are temporarily powerless to change and instead focus on what we can change. For example, when your physical condition is slightly better, try to do the tasks assigned by your supervisor as well as possible. In this process, see if you can learn something. Or learn from your colleagues. Or learn something about communication with others. There is a saying that I think is great: \"Others pay you a salary, you gain skills.\" Now that someone is paying you a salary, why not learn more work skills and methods? Don't dwell on unfairness, change your perspective, and consider work as a form of learning. When you become stronger in the future, you will have more methods to handle injustice, don't you think? [3] Practice meditation, exercise, rest well, and chat with friends and family. Meditation and exercise can slowly improve your physical fitness. You mentioned that you have no strengths or abilities, a poor image, and bad interpersonal relationships. It seems that you lack self-confidence. Through continuous learning, you will have a different understanding. If you can find a friend or family member to chat with, it can effectively relieve stress and tension and also provide inspiration through communication. Believe in yourself like a growing tree, becoming stronger and fearless in the face of storms. We can make ourselves stronger and stronger. However, this process requires personal exploration, finding methods that suit you, and taking it step by step. If you encounter difficulties, remember that there are people here to support you! Best wishes!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I want to give you a hug and say that I really understand how you feel. It must be tough for you. Based on your description, it seems that you are experiencing physical and mental discomfort due to excessive work pressure, and I feel sorry for you. You need to adjust your mentality and try to adapt to the work environment. Here are some suggestions for you, hoping they will be helpful. First, you need to analyze the specific reasons that are causing you stress at work. Is it because of a lack of skills, or maybe your mental resilience is weaker, or is it some other reason? Secondly, based on your analysis, make corresponding adjustment strategies. If it's a lack of job skills, try to study more after work and become more knowledgeable to overcome work difficulties. Gradually, your situation will improve. If it's tension at the psychological level or lack of confidence, I hope you can face yourself, believe in yourself, and not overly stress or worry. If necessary, you can consider visiting a mental health clinic where doctors can help you adjust your mentality. Lastly, engage in moderate exercise. Exercise can help improve your mood, relieve mental stress, and relax your body. It can also stimulate the brain to release endorphins, which have an anti-anxiety and stress-relieving effect. I hope these suggestions will be useful to you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Good afternoon! I feel heartbroken when I see your question. On one hand, you have to go to work for a living; on the other hand, the physical and mental exhaustion from work is taking a toll on your body and soul, which is really tough. Hugs to you. Now, should we continue going to this job? From a purely rational perspective, there are a few possible solutions: 1. Simply don't go to work anymore. After all, we can't sacrifice our health for work, right? Think about it, life is short, why push ourselves so hard? But based on your description, this possibility seems unlikely. 2. Keep going to work, grit your teeth, endure it, because for survival, there is no obstacle that humans can't overcome. However, from what you described, this double blow to your body and mind is something that would be hard for anyone to bear. Is there a third option? I believe there is. First, the situations you mentioned are things that can be openly discussed. Is there a chance to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your leader, with the diagnosis from the hospital as proof? Maybe you're thinking, \"I'm afraid. I'm afraid of losing my job.\" But now, you even have the inclination to resign, so why be afraid? Maybe your leader can also be understanding about this. We can try to communicate non-violently about this. Also, I noticed that your sense of self-identity, self-worth, and judgment of yourself seem a bit low. Can we aspire to be an optimistic and positive person in the future? Sometimes, when our mindset improves, our luck seems to change too (have you heard the saying, \"God helps those who help themselves\"?). There are many specific methods you can try, you can refer to some suggestions from positive psychology. That's all. Wishing you well, the world loves you!",
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        "questionID": 10391
       },
       {
        "question": "What is meant by hostile interpersonal perception?",
        "description": "What is meant by hostile interpersonal perception? A friend told me that if I always tend to interpret other people's relationships in a negative way, my child will subconsciously learn my thinking patterns and may develop a hostile interpersonal perception. Could you please explain what is meant by hostile interpersonal perception?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi OP: You love your child very much, and when others talk to your child, you often feel that it is directed at you and has hostile intentions. But your friends and family tell you that others don't have that intention and are not targeting you. Why do you perceive things differently from others? OP, you are confused. At the same time, you also know that if you judge incorrectly, your own subjective thinking can also affect your child. So you came here seeking help. Don't worry, let's first take a look at the concept of hostile interpersonal perception. Interpersonal perception refers to the perception of relationships between people, including understanding of a person's external characteristics, personality traits, and judgments and understanding of their behavior. Hostile interpersonal perception is actually when the perceiver feels that all interpersonal interactions are filled with negativity. The perceiver often feels that the other party in interpersonal interactions is hostile towards them and targeting them. The formation of hostile interpersonal perception is often the result of automatic thinking. Automatic thinking is often our unconscious judgments and understanding of something without thinking. When we face something, we often associate it with similar experiences we have had in the past, resulting in automatic thinking (for example, if we failed an exam and received harsh criticism from our parents, this scenario will be deeply ingrained in us, so every time we fail an exam afterwards, we will assume that our parents will criticize and scold us again. So equating exam failure with criticism and scolding is the result of automatic thinking.) In addition, the formation of hostile interpersonal perception is also one of the expressions of psychological defense mechanisms (projection). Projection refers to attributing our own desires to others and asserting that the other person has these thoughts. For example, if we dislike someone who drinks excessively, during the process of interpersonal interaction with that person, we will develop our own psychological defense mechanisms and end up feeling that the person who drinks excessively also dislikes us. So, OP, as you can see, whether it is the result of automatic thinking or psychological defense mechanisms, it makes us lose objectivity when looking at the problem and makes us unconsciously think in a hostile manner during interpersonal interactions. So, what can be done to change our unconscious cognition? I hope the following suggestions can help you. 1. Understand the reasons for your hostile interpersonal perception. Hostile interpersonal perception is the result of automatic thinking or psychological defense mechanisms. When you feel that others have hostile intentions toward your child and targeting you, try to recall similar situations in your past life experiences. Have you ever been rejected or targeted by others? Have you experienced difficulties in interpersonal interactions that have had a significant impact on you? 2. Tell yourself to objectively view the problem. If the answer to the above question is \"yes,\" then when you have hostile interpersonal perception, remember to remind yourself that this is the instinctive response of your automatic thinking and psychological defense mechanisms. Only when you realize that your thinking and judgment criteria are not objective can you better accept the advice of others and truly see whether the other party is targeting you or has hostile intentions towards you. Only by taking off the emotional outerwear and avoiding the influence of automatic thinking can our perspective on the world become objective. At that time, maybe, OP, you will find that the opinions of your friends and family are correct, and the other party really does not have any intentions against you. 3. Use positive thinking to view the problem. If the above two points can be called cognitive restructuring, then in this step, what we need to do is to replace the old unreasonable cognition with new cognition. OP, you can keep a journal and record your negative interpersonal cognitions, and replace them with positive and objective interpersonal cognitions that dispel hostility. For example, you can tell yourself that what others say to your child is because they find your child cute and are just joking, not with any hostile intentions; for example, the advice others give to you is objective and helpful, not targeting me, deliberately saying that I am not good enough, and so on. Through continuous practice, I believe that OP can deliberately change and gradually transition to positive automatic thinking, thus truly replacing negative, hostile thinking. Finally, I want to say to OP that it is evident that you love your child very much. You are worried that your thinking patterns will affect your child, so you seek change. Kudos to you, OP, you have taken the first step towards change. Moving forward, I believe you will continue to improve. Best wishes.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello poster: Thank you for your trust and for sharing your detailed response. From your detailed description, it is clear that the previous incident has had a significant impact on you, leading to your current perception of interpersonal hostility. Now, let's take a look at the issues you mentioned in your reply. \"My son heard a girl calling her dog Wang Cai, and my son said that the name doesn't suit the dog and suggested that the girl's dog should be called Wang Hei because it is black.\" (Children often speak their minds, expressing objective facts. However, for adults, the words may carry a different meaning. The girl might interpret your son's innocent remarks as insulting her dog intentionally, as if she was being insulted when people comment on someone being overweight. Children may not have ill intentions, but for the person who hears those remarks, it may feel like they are being looked down upon. Adults often analyze and think about things based on their own established patterns of thinking.) \"Then I asked my son if he remembered the name of our previous dog. My son said our dog was named Xiao Bai. One of the girls said, 'Then your dog must be very white, right?' My son and I ignored her.\" (In the eyes of most people, they would likely prefer a white dog. When you asked that question, you simply wanted to interact with your child. But in the eyes of that girl, it might be perceived as showing off. Your and your son's lack of response to her questions deepened her feeling that you both looked down upon her and disrespected her. That's why she made that offensive joke later.) \"When that girl said that, she was already soaking her feet, and her face turned red when she finished speaking and my son still ignored her.\" (After that girl saw that your son ignored her, she turned red. Actually, in that instant, she realized that it was an insulting joke and started to regret her actions. Otherwise, there wouldn't be the characteristic of blushing.) \"I even told my son, 'You can't hit people, hitting is wrong and impolite.' So my son held back and didn't hit her.\" (I want to applaud your previous actions. You stopped your son from the impulse to hit someone and told him that it is wrong. In life, we often face defamation and contempt, but not all defamation and contempt can be responded to with insults. In this experience, I want to tell you that you did the right thing. After the incident, you can also talk to your son and see what he was thinking at the time, whether he felt angry and wanted to hit the person. You can tell your son that you understand his feelings, that the auntie's words were wrong, but we can't learn from her, we can't hit people, we can't solve other people's mistakes using the wrong methods. Parents are role models for children, and you made the right choice before. We don't need to punish ourselves using other people's mistakes. The incident has already happened, and the importance of subsequent education for children is more important than constantly regretting not retaliating. Moreover, your actions at the time were not wrong.) \"Every time my son and I drink milk, I think of that incident and regret not verbally counterattacking that girl.\" (Your situation can be called an unfinished business syndrome. In your heart, you have always regretted not retaliating against that girl. So, it is easy for you to develop a perception of interpersonal hostility. Now, let's go back to your question about the perception of interpersonal hostility. Why do you feel that others are targeting you in subsequent interactions while your friends don't perceive it the same way? Is this situation similar to the case with that girl? A child's innocent remark may seem harmless to others, but why did it become an insult and contempt in her eyes? This shows that a sentence itself may not be a problem, but due to different patterns of thinking, various interpretations can arise. Think about whether you have now become the same as that girl in terms of thinking, and whether the people you feel are targeting and looking down on you are similar to your past self and your child. Finally, there are two questions that you need to consider: 1) Are all the situations you have encountered since then the same as the one with that girl? 2) If the situations are different and others are not targeting you, should you make a change in response to automated thinking? Wishing you all the best.)",
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        ],
        "questionID": 15590
       },
       {
        "question": "Eighth grade, even though many people envy my family, why am I still imagining sinking?",
        "description": "I'm 13 years old this year and I'm starting the second year of junior high school. I feel that my family environment is very good, and my parents are relatively open-minded. Many classmates envy me. My mom is very nice to me and often accompanies me to read novels and watch anime. My dad is also good, with average expectations of me, but he often encourages me. Why are many of my classmates more outgoing and better at interpersonal communication than me? Clearly, I feel that my life is very good, why have I been experiencing moderate depression and anxiety in three consecutive tests? Why am I becoming more and more fragile in this environment, to the point of even thinking about suicide? Why do I keep sinking deeper and deeper into my imagination even though I know I need to face reality? Why?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! Being outgoing and good at socializing is related to individual personality traits rather than the environment one lives in. The results of a test can only be used as a reference, but from your description, it seems like you're really feeling down. Since you mentioned having a good relationship with your parents, I recommend talking to them about this and seeing if you can seek help from a mental health counselor. The causes of depression and anxiety vary from person to person and may not necessarily be due to family issues. They could arise from interpersonal relationships, academic pressure, the loss of a loved one, or a past traumatic experience... The specific reasons would need further exploration. I noticed that you mentioned having thoughts of suicide, and I'm not sure what you're feeling. It could be a starting point for a breakthrough though. When you feel suicidal, try reaching out to your parents for help.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. There are many factors that can contribute to depression, not just the family background. It is related to the individual's education, the culture of the society they live in, specific events they have experienced, as well as their personality and temperament. As you mentioned, you have a good relationship with your mother and can enjoy reading novels and comics together. Although your father may have certain expectations, he also encourages you. This indicates that your depression may not stem from your family, but there may be other reasons for its occurrence. I don't know if you have had any significant experiences outside of your family that could have a negative impact on you, leading to self-doubt and low self-esteem. Some people have outgoing personalities, while others may be more introverted. Some are good at socializing, while others are not. Both are normal, and the key is to achieve a state of mental and physical harmony in your own life. If you have tested for moderate depression three times, it is recommended that you communicate with your parents and inform them about your current mental state. Seek the help of a counselor with the support of your parents to explore the causes of your depression and find a solution to this problem. Don't shy away from seeking medical help and don't delay the optimal treatment time. Best wishes!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 12102
       },
       {
        "question": "Is weight loss about lack of self-confidence or is it for health reasons? How to differentiate?",
        "description": "After giving birth to my second child, I injured my foot while trying to lose weight. My husband said it was because I lacked confidence in my own weight. However, I believe that weight loss is not only about vanity and lack of confidence, but also about maintaining good health. I want both beauty and health, but what is the difference between confidence and vanity?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! In the current social environment, weight is highly valued. One common belief is that \"thin is beautiful.\" However, the perception of body shape as beautiful or not is greatly influenced by the development of society. For example, during the Tang Dynasty, being overweight was considered beautiful, while nowadays being thin is seen as attractive. This perception of body shape is largely influenced by the media's promotion of models and celebrities. Some people engage in weight loss for health reasons, some due to lack of confidence, and many because of a combination of both. Regardless of the reason for weight loss, there is no right or wrong; however, we advocate for healthy weight loss. Excessive weight carries a burden on our bodies and negatively affects our health, so it is recommended to maintain weight within an appropriate range. Some people excessively focus on their body shape and resort to extreme methods for weight loss, such as fasting or vomiting, which may be related to negative mother-child relationships. This excessive obsession with body shape, striving to reach an excessively thin state to feel satisfied with weight loss, is a manifestation of insecurity. There is no clear distinction between lack of confidence and the desire for beauty, as these factors are intertwined. Some people only engage in weight loss when they are truly overweight, and while health may be a factor, there may also be a small component of beauty motivation and a slight influence of insecurity. Others may have a normal weight range but are still unsatisfied with their body shape and excessively control their weight, where insecurity plays a larger role and beauty motivation has a smaller influence. Whether weight loss is driven by the desire for beauty, lack of confidence, or for health reasons, it is best to keep the weight within a healthy range. There is no need to strive for an extremely light weight like celebrities since our profession is not to look good on camera. I hope this information can be helpful to you. Take care, and have a great day!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 19073
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling tense, anxious, and having trouble sleeping, how to untie the knot in the heart?",
        "description": "Since last year, I have been having trouble sleeping. I think there are several reasons: first, I met a boyfriend online and because I felt insecure, I was always worried and couldn't sleep well at night, and in the end, we broke up. Second, I was raised by my grandparents, and my grandmother, who had always been good to me, lost contact with our family because of issues with dividing my grandfather's inheritance. I never thought that my grandmother, who had been so good to me, would be estranged from our family because of property. My grandmother thought that our family was fighting over the inheritance, and then my aunt played mind games with us and then they both disappeared, and my grandmother wouldn't meet with us even when we finally reached her by phone. Because my childhood experiences were relatively happy, it caused a huge contrast with this matter, and I couldn't accept it. It was my grandmother who taught me principles in life, but it was also my grandmother who did something against those principles. I know that society is very realistic, but I never thought that such a realistic situation would happen to me. It's easier to deal with outsiders, but I really can't accept this happening within my own family. Although my emotions have improved a lot this year, the prolonged contemplation from last year may have caused imbalances in my body, leading to insomnia, and I often wake up early. I still have unresolved feelings about my grandmother and that situation.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, mental disorders, counseling and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You can see that you deeply care about your grandmother, who is an important person in your life. She has taught you the principles of how to conduct yourself, but her actions at this time are confusing you. Your inner self believes that it is your grandmother who taught you these principles, yet she is also going against them. This contradiction in teaching and actions from the same person can lead to a confusion of values. It may take you some time to resolve this current dilemma and slowly adapt to this harsh reality. Then, you can consider what you can do in the future and how you can uphold your values.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I noticed a subtle relationship between your two psychological concerns: 1) your attachment to online dating and fear of losing it, and 2) your thoughts about your grandmother. It seems that both stem from your emotional investment, but when the other person does not respond, it leaves you disappointed and unable to vent. It feels strange, like throwing a stone into water and seeing no ripples. The accumulation of your emotions without an outlet has become a knot in your heart, making you more and more anxious. Although we cannot change other people's thoughts, we can adjust our own cognition. By expanding your activities appropriately, engaging in outdoor sports, and trying meditation, these can all help you adjust your somatization symptoms and break free from the vicious cycle.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We can temporarily suspend matters of the heart, but a sense of security must always come from within ourselves, after all, we are our own greatest support. Grandma's situation is indeed a stumbling block for us, but we also need to consider some factors. 1. Does Grandma have enough financial resources? Often, inheritance disputes arise from desires. For Grandma, what does she want the inheritance for? If Grandma doesn't have a stable financial source, her children don't provide much, and there's no one to take care of her, then it is understandable for her to fight for her own interests because, after all, it's easy for elderly people to be despised. 2. Auntie's scheming has influenced Grandma. Although Grandma is reasonable, old age can make people confused, especially after Grandpa passed away, leaving her without a backbone. At this time, Auntie happened to say some negative things, and there may have been some things taken advantage of by the other side in our family, which led Grandma to develop a bias against us, and as a result, we haven't been able to sit down and have a proper conversation. Some misunderstandings require mutual understanding and resolution. If we can't get over our own internal obstacles, how can we expect others to reconcile with us? Therefore, we shouldn't have too many preconceived notions. We can try to delve into some matters, but of course, the prerequisite is that we have the ability to take care of ourselves and regulate our own emotions. The world loves you and me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I can understand the moral role model in your mind (especially if this role model was your kind grandmother who treated you well before) and how a misunderstanding has caused you to reflect on human nature. The two reasons you mentioned may be causing your sleep problems. However, the causes of your anxious and tense mood still need further exploration. Based on your experiences in relationships and with your grandmother, the teacher sees the need to reflect on your own attachment style. Why do you react this way? Additionally, you can try some relaxation exercises before sleep and adjust yourself through exercise. You can search online for some health-related public accounts or websites for more information. If self-adjustment is not effective, it is recommended to seek help from a professional psychological counselor. I wish you a happy life! (From the Heart, Psychologist Yuan Lanlan).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7257
       },
       {
        "question": "I always feel like there's a wall between me and everyone else. How can I get closer to the people around me?",
        "description": "I feel it's difficult for me to get close to people, always feeling like there's a wall between me and everyone else. Even if I feel closer to someone due to spending time together, they quickly become distant and polite again due to time and distance.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, colleagues.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, we can understand that 1. it is difficult to get close to others, and it feels like there is a wall between them. 2. Close friends have become distant over time. [A little bit of analysis and advice] 1. The distance in friendships can vary greatly depending on the personalities and habits of both parties. Friends who are warm and outgoing and rely on each other may be intimate enough to share everything they see and do on a daily basis, while friends who are relatively independent emotionally may meet up regularly to hang out and talk about their troubles, but may not have as much to say. 2. Long-lasting friendships are not solely maintained by proximity, but require initiative from both sides. After being physically distant, if you miss the other person, take the initiative to chat with them and regularly reach out to maintain the connection. Only then can the relationship last. If distance causes one to forget about the friend and only remember to talk to them when in need, then the relationship won't last. I hope this helps OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11136
       },
       {
        "question": "How to overcome extreme blushing and sweating when talking to people?",
        "description": "Sometimes I suddenly get nervous when someone starts a conversation with me, especially if it's someone of the opposite sex. I may blush, feel hot, and sometimes even feel nauseous when it gets really bad. I don't like crowded places and I don't like going out alone. Are these symptoms of social anxiety? How can I overcome them?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! There are two main symptoms of social anxiety: 1) obvious nervousness and fear when communicating and interacting with others; 2) avoidance of social situations. The reasons for blushing and feeling hot during social interactions need to be analyzed specifically. For example, what do you feel when talking to the opposite sex? What are you worried about? Common concerns include performing poorly, receiving negative evaluations, being afraid of blushing, and appearing embarrassed, etc. You can try to relax yourself, change irrational thoughts that cause anxiety and nervousness, and you should also exercise regularly. Don't avoid interacting with the opposite sex just because you feel nervous. That will only make you more anxious. It is necessary to participate in social groups to give yourself more opportunities to communicate with others. Of course, to completely change the symptoms of social anxiety, systematic psychological counseling intervention is required.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 40,
            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 40,
            "end": 128,
            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 128,
            "end": 253,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10860
       },
       {
        "question": "After my father passed away, I am afraid of the concern and pity from relatives. Why am I like this?",
        "description": "In the 8th grade, I have a very open perspective on life and death. My father's departure didn't impact me greatly, but I fear the concern and pity from other relatives. I even dislike them. I also don't want to tell my classmates, not because I'm afraid they will gossip or anything, but because I'm afraid they will pity me and treat me differently. What's wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when your father passed away, it seemed like you didn't feel much pain. Instead, the concern, greetings, and consolation from relatives and friends made you feel conflicted, as if it made you appear pitiful. Perhaps you think that care and comfort are meant for the weak, and you don't want to feel weak. This includes feeling sadness if you have it due to your father's departure, as it would make you feel weak. You are rejecting the feeling of sadness in your heart. Therefore, you are rejecting the care from your loved ones because such care would bring up feelings of sadness for you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1046
       },
       {
        "question": "How can we improve the issue of excessive smartphone use?",
        "description": "How can we improve the issue of excessive phone use? Whenever we have free time, we just instinctively reach for our phones. We know that constantly using our phones is not good for us, but how can we control this habit?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, smartphone dependency, laziness, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Just as you said, when you have free time, you always want to pick up your phone. But what about when you're not free? Maybe this is a method to suppress playing with your phone, a method that works for you! So, if you feel that you're not working hard enough right now, then make yourself busy and continue to enrich yourself! On the other hand, is playing with your phone always a bad thing? Not necessarily! I am currently using my phone to answer your question! If my answer is helpful to you, is that not something worth doing? If I pick up my phone this time, will it not make me feel guilty because I have helped someone? It is advisable to strike a balance between work and rest, but it mainly depends on what you use your phone for! It is inherently dual-faced, so it still depends on how you manage your life. A person with a plan and goals will always have a more exciting life! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6653
       },
       {
        "question": "Knowing each other for 3 years and dating for 1 year, how can we find an absolute balance point with my girlfriend?",
        "description": "I have known my girlfriend for 3 years and we have been in a relationship for a year and a half, which can be considered successful. However, recently there have been some problems. Since I started working and she is still in school, our perspectives have changed. I now feel that I can't find a balance in our relationship. In the past six months, I have been putting in a lot of effort, both in terms of time and money, and I don't mind that. The problem lies in her attitude towards me, which has become indifferent. I can't say anything to her, reasoning doesn't work either. She always feels that anyone's opinions, except mine, are correct. She goes out and hangs out with both male and female friends, and I couldn't care less about that now. But she constantly interferes in my affairs and even wants to be involved in my work. Even if I just talk to someone of the opposite sex, she gets angry. When I point these things out to her, she simply brushes them off as friendships. It's really starting to frustrate me.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, good Wednesday morning! After carefully reading your question repeatedly, I can feel your confusion and annoyance. Let's calm down and communicate, explore together. First of all, I want to directly answer the question in the title, there is no absolute point of balance. Why? Because in any relationship, due to different understandings and feelings of giving and receiving from both sides, different standards exist, and absolute balance is nonexistent. When I say this, I wonder if you understand, some people give a lot without feeling it is difficult because it comes from love, while others are accustomed to being taken care of and think it is only natural. There are various situations involved here. Let's dissolve this obsession with absolute balance, which may be helpful for improving the relationship in the next step. #We have known each other for 3 years and have been dating for a year and a half, which can be considered successful. The actual duration is not the most important thing. What matters is how much time in the 3 years of knowing each other and the year and a half of dating have you been able to communicate your deep thoughts and explore deeper aspects of each other, such as life views, values, and perspectives on marriage. This is also an important question. Judging from the following, it is evident that you have moved beyond the infatuation stage. So, the next step requires more and deeper understanding, instead of guessing or resenting each other. How to manage this relationship well requires joint efforts from both of you. And you, the questioner, have this idea and can take the initiative. From the moment you raised the question, it was already the beginning of awareness and potential transformation. #But here comes the recent problem. Due to me working and her still being in school, there have been changes in attitudes. I now feel I can't find an absolute point of balance in the relationship. In the past six months, it hasn't been a one-sided giving in terms of time and money, which doesn't matter. But actually, these things do matter. Why? Material things are another form of spiritual manifestation that symbolizes the emotional entity you give to the other person. Everyone knows how hard it is to make money. Of course, objectively speaking, your girlfriend doesn't have a job yet, and you understand this very well. So, your expectation is that when you give to her, she should at least say thank you, right? (Even if she doesn't say it directly, can you sense it in her tone, expressions, and gestures?) #The key is her attitude towards me has become optional, and I feel the same about her now. Optional, remote, but it's just a feeling, which may also be an illusion. And you, the questioner, are also trying to retaliate against her using seemingly similar means, which will only make the relationship more distant, akin to a form of subtle violence. Let's go back to the period when we understood each other and established the relationship. During this time, how much time did we truly communicate our emotions, feelings, and thoughts? You can express your feelings to her, but not by ignoring her or being cold, but by speaking up. \"Heart-to-heart communication\" is just an artistic technique, in reality, if you don't say it, the other person won't be able to guess. When you speak, focus on expressing your true feelings and make a relatively objective observation-based connection between these feelings and specific behaviors of the other person (rather than judgment). To develop and expand on this, you can read \"Nonviolent Communication\". #I can't talk to her, reasoning doesn't work, she always feels that except for me, everyone else is right, her so-called friends, both male and female, she goes out with them to chat and have fun. I'm already too lazy to care about these things. Most women can't listen to reason, can they? You are using a man's rationality and a woman's sensibility to communicate. You need to adjust the frequency, tune in to a channel that the other person can understand. When she complains to you, are you willing to listen? What kind of communication truly builds a close relationship? In simple terms, it means listening to the other person's complaints. If you can put yourself in her shoes and also complain a bit, that's a higher level. If you can truly listen with empathy, even without saying anything, it's great. She needs someone to confide in, and she chose so-called friends. Why? One possibility is that she feels annoyed when she talks to you. Besides that, her normal socializing, you can fully accept, right? She is yours, and she will eventually come back to you. It's just a matter of establishing a closer relationship and better communication. That's my advice to you. #But she always likes to interfere in my affairs, including my work. Even when I talk to people of the opposite sex, she gets jealous. When I mention these things to her, she only says they are just friends. Now it's getting on my nerves. My interpretation is different from yours. She lacks a sense of security even more than you, right? You are already employed, but she doesn't have a source of income yet. She wants you to know that she is also a part of this relationship. Isn't it a good thing for her to understand your work and what you do every day? What's wrong with listening to her opinions? (Getting jealous when talking to people of the opposite sex, isn't that just being possessive? She probably won't do this with strangers, right?) \nAfter we improve our previous close relationship and communication style, using the interpretative approach of nonviolent communication to perceive each other's emotional needs, I believe your romantic relationship will undergo substantial improvement. Best wishes to you! The world and I love you!\n\n",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. Love is a dynamic and balanced relationship. There is no \"absolute equilibrium point\" where everything stays the same. Relationships are always fluctuating, with ups and downs, better or worse. The two individuals constantly interact and adjust, which is the norm. If you feel like you are \"putting in more effort,\" it may be a reminder that you are feeling tired and dissatisfied with the relationship. Take a moment to recall the initial stages of being in love, when you may have felt that your partner was so adorable and your efforts were not enough. Love is not a simple, linear progression; it has its ups and downs. In a relationship, both individuals are independent beings who have grown in different environments. There will always be the issue of balancing and coordinating between the two, necessitating timely adjustments to match each other's changes. Otherwise, there may be a mismatch. However, this is all normal and inevitable. Therefore, in love, it is important to constantly observe the changes in the relationship and actively adapt to them. You have already realized that your relationship has undergone some mismatches, which is a good thing. In the face of such changes, you can ponder why these changes have occurred and what you can do. A significant part of the reason might be the changes in your own circumstances; you are already working and facing society while she is still in a relatively simple school environment. The problems you both face, the concerns you have, and even some of your beliefs may have changed, making your differences more apparent. Have you discussed these issues with each other?\n\n2. Genuine communication is crucial. You sense that she no longer values you as much. In fact, she believes that what others say, apart from you, is correct, and she likes to interfere in your affairs. When you express your opinions, she becomes explosive. All these indicate her dissatisfaction and ideological disagreement towards you. When she disagrees with you, the weight of your words diminishes in her mind. So where did the differences between you arise? This requires deep communication, understanding, listening, and exploring whether the appearance of the problem stems from a fundamental disagreement or whether there are just some barriers and misunderstandings between you that can be resolved through communication, leading to consensus or tolerance, and enabling you to continue together. This is a test for both of you. Moreover, you mentioned that she chats with some male and female friends, but she gets angry when you talk to the opposite sex. This shows that you also have some dissatisfaction with her. So what are these dissatisfactions? What are your expectations? What can't you accept? What do you like about her? Seize this opportunity to think it through and discuss it with her. Problems also create opportunities. So now is an opportunity for both of you to deepen your understanding of each other. Through genuine communication, see if you have the foundation, determination, and wisdom to continue together. The longevity of a relationship relies not on surface harmony but on true spiritual connection and genuine openness. Only with sufficient understanding and trust can we attain true love.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "To be honest, you've already been together for three years, which is considered quite long. Many couples can't even make it to three years. But we also know that in a relationship, there are both passionate and dull periods. And what you're going through now can be considered a dull period, which requires you to get through it together. Your girlfriend is still a student while you're working, which means your current living environments are different. And when the environments are different, the things you encounter are also different, which makes it harder for you to understand each other's behaviors. I think the most important thing now is tolerance and trust. Maybe gradually, your common topics have become fewer, so both parties need to make efforts to get closer to each other. It's not enough for just one person to make an effort. As for her tendency to meddle in your matters, think about it from a different perspective. Could it be because you haven't provided her with enough sense of security, and so on? And she also needs to reflect on her attitude and approach towards you. After all, if two people want to be together for a long time, they must be tolerant of each other's differences. It requires adjustment and, more importantly, trust. You might want to sit down together and find a calm moment to talk about things you can't tolerate about each other but the other person is unaware of. This way, you'll both know what led to this situation. I hope this answer can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your outpouring, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a gentle breeze to soothe your inner troubles. Here is my analysis: 1. When you care too much about someone, the more you care, the less they care about you. The less you care, the more they care about you. It is because you have constantly met her needs that over time, you have become dispensable. 2. Tolerance in love can make the relationship more beautiful, but indulgence will only sink love into a quagmire. Eventually, you will helplessly witness it slowly dissipating. It is because you repeatedly indulged her that she could indulge herself repeatedly. In the end, she could go out with other men and women, frequently chat and keep in touch. Instead of reflecting on herself, she interfered with you. This is the result of indulgence, being spoiled. 3. Love yourself seven parts and love others three parts. Love yourself professionally and love others in your spare time. People who truly love you don't require you to give too much. It's useless to give too much to someone who doesn't love you. Take good care of yourself and be the best partner for the other person. This is the best torment for her, the torment of love. If you have enough charm, she can't live without you. If your charm is not enough, you can't keep her. Thank you for your question, may all the goodness in the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone has different ways of getting along, and finding a balance is not easy, especially for working professionals. On one hand, they have to be busy with work, feeling overwhelmed, and on the other hand, they have to take care of their girlfriend's emotions, creating a growing gap. As conflicts increase, the relationship between both parties will suffer, and eventually be unable to face it. In this case, it is best to cultivate a sense of ritual. For girls, the best way is to pay attention to the small details, such as giving gifts on Valentine's Day and birthdays, and showing care when they are sick. If these things are done well, girls won't have much to complain about. The frequent quarrels and interference in everyday life are just a lack of security, feeling neglected and indifferent, resulting in such feelings. If guys can handle emotional matters well, there will be fewer complaints. Being together for three years and being in a relationship for a year and a half is quite long, and maintaining this relationship is not easy. If you can still be together, it's best to try to persist and resolve your own troubles.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you and your girlfriend have been in a relationship for a year and a half and have always gotten along well. However, recent changes in the environment have affected the pace of your interactions. The work and study situations are completely different, as you encounter more people in the workplace and have to focus on work-related issues, unlike the carefree atmosphere at school. This situation is similar to when a man is busy with his career while the woman is a full-time homemaker, as it is easier for her to have idle thoughts. Because you are in different life situations, your perspectives and focuses have shifted. Your girlfriend is still studying and tends to become more involved in your affairs. She has a certain need for control, which may stem from her lack of security in the relationship. She wants to maintain her \"dominance\" by having access to all the information concerning you. Think about how your previous interactions and ways of getting along were like, and whether your approach towards her has changed since you started working. Due to her heightened sensitivity, she may feel that you are now \"different\" from before. While she was studying, she had more time to hang out with friends and wanted to have her own social circle, which is understandable. Another possibility is that she is trying to get your \"attention,\" so she goes out with other people deliberately, both men and women, to incite jealousy and gauge how much you care about her. She also feels insecure when you talk to members of the opposite sex, as she is concerned about your behavior. You are also worried about losing her, but currently, both of you are in a phase of \"doubting each other.\" You feel that she is caring less about you, while she feels that you are no longer providing her with the same sense of security as before. Well, actually, you are in love with each other, but you haven't established a good sense of \"trust.\" To eliminate these suspicions and differences in your hearts, you can only honestly express your feelings to each other. Your concerns stem from love and care, and you are willing to trust her and not interfere with her freedom, because as long as she is happy, you can accommodate anything. Let her understand that you actually care about her. Perhaps, because of work lately, you may be under some pressure and your words and actions may change, causing unnecessary misunderstandings. If she truly loves you, she will understand you. I hope you continue to walk together and be happy~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15175
       },
       {
        "question": "30-year-old woman, very afraid of loneliness, no one to talk to, afraid of being alone?",
        "description": "I have been feeling depressed and unhappy all day today. I feel a heavy tightness in my chest. After taking a leave, I have returned to a work place that I didn't want to stay in before. It's relatively closed off here, and everyone feels lonely. I'm very afraid of being alone, but unfortunately, I'm always by myself. This constant state of fear and anxiety has been ongoing, and there is no one to talk to.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, friends, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I want to give you a big hug and sympathize with you! Here I would like to express my opinion. Whether it's a child or an adult, everyone experiences loneliness at times. Living with friends and family is the source of our happiness. If you often find yourself alone and feeling lonely, there are many ways to make yourself happier. Firstly, learn to cultivate your own hobbies and interests. When you are alone, don't let yourself be idle. Develop a few hobbies, and naturally you will meet like-minded people. Secondly, it is important to establish your own career aspirations. When you are alone, don't give up on yourself. Focus on your work. Economic independence is essential at any time to boost your confidence. Furthermore, let yourself experience different challenges. During your leisure time, try different lifestyles and learn various interpersonal skills. Make your life more colorful. Lastly, learn to accept and enjoy solitude. Occasional solitude is normal. Don't settle for a companion just to avoid loneliness. Enrich your mind and strive to become a better version of yourself!",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 18,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 18,
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           },
           {
            "start": 106,
            "end": 167,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 167,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 226,
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           },
           {
            "start": 280,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10949
       },
       {
        "question": "Introverted, sometimes hesitant to make direct eye contact when speaking to others.",
        "description": "Sometimes when relatives come, I am afraid to call them relatives. I don't know why, but I feel resistant in my heart. This has been the case since I was 14 years old, and it continues until now, at 25 years old. Then, when I converse with people, I can never find a topic and don't know what to say.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sometimes when relatives come, I am afraid to call them and I don't know the reason. I feel resistance in my heart. This has been happening since I was 14 years old, and it continues until now at 25. Also, when I talk to people, I can never find a topic and don't know what to say. From the description, I can feel that you are a sensitive person, somewhat insecure, and not good at socializing. You are 25 years old now, and I wonder if you have asked yourself why you are afraid to talk to others? Is it because you don't know how to start a conversation, or are you afraid of being hurt by your own words? Ask yourself what the reason is, and then we can find a solution! Based on your language, I feel that you are not very confident in yourself, and you seem a bit insecure. Is this insecurity coming from your family? For example, being a left-behind child, receiving critical education, experiencing domestic violence, or school bullying. Try to find the root cause, bravely face those bad memories, gradually overcome the sense of insecurity, build self-confidence, and most importantly, learn to love yourself! This way, self-confidence will gradually be established. By then, you won't be afraid to look into other people's eyes!",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 169,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7564
       },
       {
        "question": "24-year-old girl, always feels that her mother is biased, is it because she hasn't been weaned yet?",
        "description": "When I was young, I was a left-behind child, while my younger brother was raised by our parents. As I grew up (just started working as a teacher, and my brother also went to college), I had summer vacation, and so did my brother. My brother went back to our hometown to practice driving, and my mom went with him, spending the whole summer there. So, I asked her to come back earlier, and though she agreed, she kept postponing it. I was about to start school, but she still didn't come back, and I felt very upset.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. As the older sister in a sibling family, I want to give you a warm hug. I have also experienced many similar feelings. Favoring sons over daughters is an unavoidable issue in sibling families. Every biased parent tilts the balance of affection to an extreme, causing great harm to the neglected child (usually a daughter). But we find it difficult to change our parents' mindset. Although I have protested countless times, my mom always dismisses it casually. So, I have learned not to dwell on this unsolvable problem. I choose to invest more emotions and energy in myself, trying to make myself happy and improve myself, so that I can become more calm and stronger. This is not to defy my parents, but through this process, I have gained a lot of meaning. Therefore, even though I can understand you, I hope you can gradually move away from such a relationship and embrace a broader world, to find the true meaning of life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12203
       },
       {
        "question": "Mother only cares about price, not quality. How to deal with distorted values?",
        "description": "My mother always cares only about the price and not the quality. She often suffers a big loss by being greedy for small advantages. She is very calculative and spends a lot of energy obsessing over small amounts of money, even down to the decimal point.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! Everyone has different values \u200b\u200bbecause of their upbringing, family experiences, and life events, among other things, all of which contribute to their values \u200b\u200band beliefs. In real life, the majority of ordinary mothers, when they reach a certain age, or even before that, care a lot about prices. When they spend money, they are reluctant to spend too much and would prefer to buy better things for less money. However, they are often deceived by the products of merchants, but it is understandable for our mothers because they have raised us with so much love and want to give us the best. I think it is necessary for you to communicate with your mother about this matter because as her beloved child, she will definitely listen to you. Furthermore, you must also tell your mother about the existence of unscrupulous merchants in order to prevent being deceived again, as many people have fallen victim to scams, losing tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands. Therefore, it is important to teach your mother about some knowledge about products as early as possible, which will be beneficial for her to avoid being deceived in the future. Lastly, OP, you don't have to dwell too much on this matter, as it is just a very small thing in life. Our parents have many things they don't understand, which require us children to patiently teach and care for them. Finally, I wish you happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20849
       },
       {
        "question": "A 26-year-old woman constantly thinks, \"Wouldn't it be nice if I fell asleep and never woke up again?\"",
        "description": "I graduated from an ordinary college with a major in accounting, but I'm not interested in it. Throughout my four years in university, I was quite good at English and even achieved a high score on the American business graduate exam, ranking in the top 20% of global candidates. However, due to the high tuition fees and my clear realization that I didn't want to pursue a business career, I ultimately gave up on going to the United States for graduate studies. Despite having a seemingly decent background, I have made it quite messy. Later on, I started working in online English education, earning a decent but unstable salary. As a result, I decided to prepare for the translation master's program entrance examination. However, during the preparation process, a lot of things happened that made me feel extremely frustrated, and I don't know what to do. \u2460 There is family pressure; both my parents are incapable and in their fifties with no savings. They manage to get by and I grew up relying on others. I also have a younger brother and sister who need to go to college. Yesterday, my mom asked to borrow 20,000 yuan from me to pay off credit card debt. It's highly unlikely that I will ever get this money back if I lend it to her, and I've only saved a little over 20,000 yuan in the past year... My mom keeps instilling the idea that I have to support my younger siblings, although she stubbornly denies it.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Another example of the eldest child in the family carrying the responsibility of their parents. When parents are incapable, they pass the pressure on to their children, causing them to struggle in living their own lives and unable to fully utilize their energy and opportunities. It is a sad situation. However, life is meant to be lived for oneself, so please do not think that this is nonsense. If one day you truly have the ability, then you can take care of your younger siblings. But first, you need to develop your own skills and knowledge. Here is an analysis of your situation: 1. You graduated from an ordinary university with a major in accounting, but you are not interested in it. Throughout your four years of university, your English proficiency was relatively good, and you even passed the exam for American business graduate school, ranking in the top 20% of global candidates. (Although I don't understand what you mean by American business graduate school, the fact that you ranked in the top 20% is impressive. Many people have studied different majors and ended up not working in those fields, but those majors still provide valuable support later in life.) 2. However, you ultimately gave up on pursuing a master's degree in the United States due to the high tuition fees and your clear decision to not pursue a career in business. Despite these setbacks, you ended up working in online English education, where your salary is decent but unstable. (It seems unreasonable to blame yourself for the confusion. The expensive tuition fees are an objective problem, and not wanting to work in business is a subjective one. Your proficiency in foreign languages will bring you a lot of value and sense of accomplishment in this job, just like my love for psychology, which allows me to \"find myself.\" Perhaps stability and qualifications are also factors, right? Nothing happens overnight, and you are still young, which is an advantage.) 3. So you decided to prepare for the translation master's exam. However, many things happened during your preparation that made you feel defeated and unsure of what to do. \u2460 There is the pressure from your family. Your parents are incapable and have no savings even though they are in their fifties. They live day by day, and you also have a younger brother and sister who need to go to college. (We understand the principle of \"drinking water and remembering its source,\" but what you need to understand now is that you need to stand up first in order to have the opportunity to help them. Otherwise, both of you will fall down together. I understand your pressure, with the loveable younger siblings on one hand and your own future on the other, but the responsibility for raising children lies with the parents, not the eldest child.) 4. Yesterday, your mother asked you to borrow 20,000 yuan to pay off her credit card. It is unlikely that this money will be returned, and you only managed to save a little over 20,000 yuan in the past year. Your mom always instills in you the idea that you should support your younger siblings, although she denies it. (Dear, if you don't want to do it, you can simply say \"no.\" You don't need to endure or take on unnecessary responsibilities because it is not your duty. If this money can help you do something better for your own future, why not do it? They will find a way, they are adults.) \u2461 You experienced a breakup. The guy broke up with you because of the long-distance relationship. Even if you had made a poor choice, it still causes significant emotional fluctuations because it was your first relationship. Coupled with your family situation, you feel like you will never be loved in this realistic society. After all, who would like a burden with a bad background? (It's the same issue again. You have wrapped yourself up in your family, but you are still you, and your family members are still your family. He was in a relationship with you, not with your family. If you can distinguish this, someone who loves you will also be able to distinguish it. If you can't, someone who loves you will not be able to either.) \u2462 The issue of preparing for the exam. Due to the breakup, your original plan for the exam was put on hold for several months. You know that you shouldn't blame anyone, but the loss of a few months has greatly diminished your confidence. And with little support from your family (mostly opposition), you feel even more uncomfortable. (So, do you want to take the exam or not? If you want to, then do it. If you don't, then don't do it. Don't think about doing something you don't want to do and add conflict to your inner self. Remember, what others think doesn't matter. What matters now is whether you want to take the exam. Everything else is just an excuse and a reason.) Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you to respect your own future, as only by respecting yourself can you truly love others! If you have any confusion, feel free to message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When you don't know what to do, it's best to focus on what you can do well. The questioner says they are preparing to take the postgraduate entrance exam for translation studies. However, many things have happened during their preparation, which has left them feeling frustrated and unsure of what to do. In the current situation, the questioner needs to adjust their emotions, concentrate their energy on what they consider to be more important, such as online English education, and then focus on exam preparation. In addition, they need to learn to stretch their time and give themselves sufficient buffer zone. Making good use of \"time and space awareness\" can make one's life more resilient. Why is this important? Because some people are prone to anger or emotional sadness, and their logic is: \"If I have a desire, it must be fulfilled immediately.\" If it cannot be fulfilled, they become angry and desire destruction. They will attack external objects, and if they can't, they will turn to attacking themselves, such as punching trees or even banging their heads against walls. They don't know how to take a detour or step back and wait for the right opportunity. This is because they lack a sense of time and space. It's important to remember that many things don't need to be rushed. If you extend the timeline for these things, the possibility of achieving your desires becomes infinitely greater in this longer river of time. Delayed gratification is popular nowadays, and it actually means increasing your sense of time. Because when time is extended and more investment is made, there are more opportunities, and therefore, the possibility of being satisfied increases.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can feel your continuous efforts, constant progress, and excellence. You know what you want and you strive hard for it, which has led you to work in online English education. It seems like many things have happened that have made you frustrated. Yes, life is often full of disappointments, and perfect things don't exist, that's the truth. Your parents seem incapable, having no savings, and even asking you for money to support your younger siblings. I can sense that your parents have burdened you with heavy responsibilities, which can be overwhelming. This is one perspective, but let's also look at it from another angle. Your parents, during your underage years, managed to send you to college, which is better than many parents who can't afford to support their children's education. In the past, you had no means to earn money, but now you have savings and you have been constantly striving. You can see your inner strength that has brought you to where you are now. The world is not perfect, and we need to do what we can while allowing for some things to be beyond our control. We can help our families and younger siblings, but we can only do what we are capable of, and we need to establish our own boundaries. Changing our parents is difficult; we can only focus on what we can do ourselves. Allow for imperfections, acknowledge that there are things we cannot accomplish, and give yourself the permission to help your younger siblings or refuse to do so. Remember, you have grown up, and as long as you are willing, you can make choices that align with your true self.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ After reading your testimony, I can feel that you are quite desperate and unsure about the goal and direction of your life. In this period of time, as you summarized, all the things are overwhelming you and making it hard to breathe. Let's take it step by step to sort things out. Actually, when you mentioned that you took the exam for a business graduate program and ranked in the top 20% globally, it shows that you are very capable. You have a strong focus and execution ability in your studies. Even in this confusing moment, you are able to reflect on the source of your stress, which is probably more intricate than you imagined. Maybe I can share a bit more about stress with you. Firstly, concerning the people around you, it seems like they have gotten used to pushing all the stress onto themselves. Your mother, for example, puts the financial pressure on you, asking for money from you. She has \"pushed\" the responsibility and obligation of taking care of her children onto you. Perhaps she also pushes the pressure of survival onto you. You didn't mention your father's situation or work. It is very possible that you bear the burden of the whole family's living and also the pressure in terms of speech and mental well-being. Secondly, concerning love or relationships. When you describe some traits of your family, you may realize that in your family, it seems like you haven't experienced genuine \"love\". It seems like your family doesn't care about you and you haven't received love from them. Even if, as you mentioned, you have encountered unsuitable relationships and maybe \"not worthy,\" there is still a feeling inside you that believes you are worthy of being loved. When it disappears, you feel that you won't feel loved in this life. And your self-value, something you are proud of, is also suppressed. Your abilities are belittled by yourself. Thirdly, regarding the topic of the graduate entrance examination, it accumulates the previous two and delays the things that you were originally proud of. At this time, the opposition from your family members makes you more devastated. In fact, deep down, you really hope that the people around you can encourage and appreciate you and also hope to hear them say, \"It's okay, take your time.\" But perhaps it is an extravagant hope. Overall, you have taken on a lot of external pressure, including the unreasonable expectations your parents have for you, which squeeze your time, energy, and money. They don't think about how much harm and pressure their actions bring to you, just like Fan Shengmei in the drama \"Ode to Joy.\" It's a void that can't be filled. Maybe you can think about some questions. First, learn to establish boundaries with your family, which also means protecting yourself from the pressure from their speech and mental aspects. As an adult, your mother should do some things on her own. What is she capable of? As a child, what is beyond your ability? Second, encourage and affirm yourself more. You naturally hope to receive recognition, encouragement, and support from others, but it's important to acknowledge your own value from within yourself, to recognize what you believe in. Because sometimes, in order to gain others' recognition, companionship, and support, we tend to follow their words. I hope to receive their approval. Third, establish a good social support system. When you encounter setbacks and hardships, find people who can rationalize and help you by listening to your venting, analyzing, and giving suggestions that are suitable for your situation, without judgment. It could be someone with life experience or a mental health counselor, etc. Also, you don't always have to hear negative news whenever you are in a difficult time. Lastly, and the most important point, learn to focus on yourself, pay attention to your joys, angers, sorrows, and happiness, things you like and dislike. You are important. You don't live for others.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u2461 I experienced a heartbreak. The guy I was in a long-distance relationship with chose to break up with me. Since it was my first relationship, even if it was a bad match, it still caused a major emotional rollercoaster. Coupled with issues in my family, the heartbreak makes me feel like I will never be loved in this realistic society. Because no one will like someone with a disadvantaged background, right?  \u2462 The issue of taking the postgraduate entrance exam. Because of the heartbreak, my plans to take the exam have been put on hold for a few months. I know I shouldn't blame anyone, but losing a few months of time has greatly diminished my confidence. Additionally, my family had little support for the idea (there were mostly opposing voices), which makes me feel even worse. When everything piles up, I truly feel hopeless. I wish something unexpected would happen one day so that I could leave this world without blame.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15019
       },
       {
        "question": "I always nitpick about trivial matters and easily become impatient. How can I change this?",
        "description": "I feel annoyed whenever my friends say something, I even roll my eyes and don't respond. I get angry and uncomfortable when someone puts their things on my desk. I instinctively avoid it when others criticize me. I pay too much attention to other people's small actions and subtle expressions. I always look down on others and point out their flaws. I can't stand it when people talk to me or bother me when I'm studying. I have been like this since I was young, how can I change?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Based on your situation, it can be seen that you care a lot about what others think of you, but you haven't been able to express yourself clearly. To a large extent, the subconscious mind of the questioner is a manifestation of the self, but it is not obvious. The feeling of disgust arises because your subconscious mind is in conflict with the behavior of others, and you feel that the outcome is not what you want. Since you have selfishness, you also don't understand what others say to you. However, standing from your own perspective sometimes burdens you involuntarily. We all know that there is a gap between reality and our expectations, and each person is imperfect. However, you are a sensitive person. You are easily fragile, care about what others think, and are unable to control your emotions. You also have a slight tendency toward compulsion. These are the issues you need to resolve at present. We can all understand. Being oneself may seem like an easy thing to say, but it is difficult to act upon. At the same time, you also need to consider the feelings of others and find a comfortable way to interact with them. My suggestion is to learn to express your inner thoughts appropriately, and sometimes you need others to understand you. Search for the source of your emotions, do your best in every present task to reduce anxiety. Listen to music, watch movies, and gain different insights from lyrics or plotlines. Put yourself in the shoes of others and think about their feelings, whether your words have hurt them. Having a friendship is a joyful thing. Try new things, broaden your horizons, and make each day fulfilling. I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Thank you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I always fuss over trivial matters, what should I do? Hello, first of all, I understand and empathize with your situation. I want to give you a big hug so you can feel the warmth of the world. If your personality has been like this since childhood, there may be many factors that influenced you, such as the influence of family members who lead by example, or maybe someone around you or a classmate/friend who set a bad example for you. So, you need to find the reasons why you are like this in order to make appropriate changes. Because most of the time, making friends is about connecting at heart, not showing impatience or that unpleasant feeling. If you are always picky with your friends and always act dismissively towards them, they will feel that you are being insincere and not showing your true self. So, you also need to have a broad mind, because if you never pay attention to those small actions or glances, and contemptuously pick on others' faults, it means that your mind is relatively narrow. Even if a person is perfect, you will find faults in them, indicating that you are not accommodating and accepting of others. It's possible that you have high demands on others but are more tolerant and relaxed towards yourself. You've reversed the concept of being strict with yourself and lenient with others. It's also possible that you have high demands on yourself, which is why you have high demands on others. In this case, you need to pay attention to this attitude and personality by reflecting on and examining yourself. Otherwise, the people around you will distance themselves from you, and you will end up without friends, feeling lonely and isolated, like staying away from a crowd. But we are social creatures and cannot survive on our own; we always need social interaction. Therefore, maintaining good interpersonal relationships in society is essential. The reason you might think what others say is nonsense is that you perceive yourself as the center and think that whatever you say is right, while others are like clowns performing around you. It's as if you haven't achieved the basic respect for others. In fact, if you do achieve it, many friends will feel more comfortable. If you don't treat others seriously, they won't treat you seriously either. The key to human interaction is mutual trust and respect, not being self-centered and thinking that others are talking nonsense. Otherwise, others will also feel that you lack respect for them, and they won't have the desire to interact with you. Starting from now, it might be helpful to learn to praise the friends around you more, with sincerity. For example, if someone is wearing a nice outfit, you can compliment them and say, \"Your outfit looks great, I want to buy something like that too.\" Say things that will make others happy. Everyone loves to hear compliments rather than criticisms. Furthermore, if someone helps you, say thank you, and remember to return the favor next time. When someone is talking, restrain yourself and try not to roll your eyes with negative emotions. Resist these bad behavior habits. Try to show respect for what others say. You may not agree, but you should allow others the freedom to express themselves. You can make eye contact with them, and if you think what they said is right, you can nod and smile slightly to show approval. Wishing the poster happiness and joy!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you mentioned that you are a second-level national psychological counselor. From your description, it seems that you can be quite easily provoked and bothered by trivial matters. Even small things can make you irritable and impatient. However, at the same time, you are very sensitive to the minor actions of others. I feel sorry for your state. It must be very difficult for you to relax in this state. You are constantly on edge, either feeling uncomfortable here or worried about something there. This state is something you experience. 1. When did this state start to appear? If it is a recent occurrence, has something happened recently that made you feel uncomfortable? If it has always been there, what has recently made you feel uncomfortable? 2. How often does this state occur? Is it only when you are with certain people, or does it happen with everyone? Does it happen every day or only occasionally in specific situations? 3. What is the situation when this state occurs? What are your thoughts at that time? 4. When this state occurs, do you immediately take action, or can you stop and feel your own emotions? 5. Imagine if you were to react differently in a certain situation, what would the result be? Would you feel more comfortable or even more uncomfortable with that result? If this \"being particular\" state often occurs, it can really affect your life. On the one hand, you feel uncomfortable, and on the other hand, the people around you are unsure how to deal with it. So what is hindering you from enjoying life? I guess it's because you have some rules that you haven't noticed, a lot of places where you don't accept yourself and others, and a state of uncertainty. I hope these questions can help you sort things out. Give them a try, and if they give you a different feeling, please let me know.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3816
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it my fault that my mother still doesn't understand my binge eating disorder? Am I being too much?",
        "description": "I found that every symptom of bulimia nervosa matches my situation. A doctor on Baidu suggested that I take Clomipramine, but after doing some research on Baidu, I found that the side effects are quite severe. So I told my mom about it and asked her to learn more about bulimia nervosa, and I said I want to go to the hospital tomorrow to get checked. She immediately replied, \"You can go by yourself every day, I have to go to work.\" And then I started crying for no reason. My mom saw and came in to find me, and she took out her phone to search. My mom said she doesn't think I fit the diagnosis (even though she barely spends an hour with me each day, and I have plenty of time to engage in bingeing and purging in places she can't see). So I told her about my bingeing and purging behavior that started last year. At its worst, there were four to five episodes every day for one or two months in a row. She said she doesn't understand why I think I'm fat, and I told her that among our age group, I am the heaviest, exceeding the average weight by twenty pounds. Plus, I have to wear a uniform to school, and in the summer, we have to wear skirts. My legs are very thick, and the uniform sizes run small. Even the XXXL uniform pants are tight on me (I'm studying to become a flight attendant). But my mom still doesn't understand me and says it's a problem with my lack of self-discipline for not being able to stick to a diet. What should I do? Is it really my own issue? Am I being too much?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, binge eating and dieting.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, author! I can feel your sadness and helplessness regarding your mother's lack of understanding and the frustration of not being able to find a solution to your mental health issues. Neurotic binge eating disorder is a subtype of eating disorders. Although your mother doesn't understand your pain, she does have a point - you need to confirm whether you have neurotic binge eating disorder. I consulted the DSM-5 book on mental disorders and looked up professional symptom criteria and diagnostic standards. I can tell you that you can self-assess based on the following: Individuals with neurotic binge eating disorder often eat compulsively, consuming astonishing amounts of food, usually several thousand calories that are high in sugar, carbohydrates, and fat. They can eat quickly, sometimes even without tasting, devouring their food. Usually, binge eating stops only when they are interrupted by others, fall asleep, or experience stomach pain from overeating. Individuals with neurotic binge eating disorder may be slightly below normal weight, normal weight, overweight, or even obese. They often diet and engage in intense exercise to lose weight but cannot reach the low weight levels seen in individuals with neurotic anorexia. During binge episodes, individuals feel a loss of control. After binge eating, they may induce vomiting or use laxatives, often due to stomach pain and concern about weight gain. This cycle repeats at least several times a week. Diagnostic criteria for neurotic binge eating disorder include the following: 1. Recurrent episodes of binge eating accompanied by the following symptoms: a. Eating an excessively large amount of food within a specific period of time (e.g., within 2 hours) that is much more than what most individuals would eat in that same period; b. Feeling a sense of loss of control over eating during the episode (e.g., feeling that one cannot stop eating or control how much food one is eating); c. Engaging in unhealthy compensatory behaviors to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting, misuse of laxatives or diuretics, fasting, or excessive exercise; d. Binge eating and compensatory behaviors occur, on average, at least once a week for three months; e. Extreme concern with body weight and shape; f. These symptoms do not occur exclusively during episodes of neurotic anorexia. The number of unhealthy compensatory behaviors occurring per week indicates the severity of the disorder. Occupational, academic, family, or friendship problems can also contribute to rating: - Mild: 1-3 compensatory episodes per week - Moderate: 4-7 compensatory episodes per week - Severe: 8-13 compensatory episodes per week - Extreme: 14 or more compensatory episodes per week. You can self-assess based on the above criteria. If you confirm that you have neurotic binge eating disorder, I recommend seeking treatment at a hospital as this disorder may require medication as it is a type of mental disorder. Relying solely on self-regulation or allowing it to develop further may not be very effective. Although your mother may not fully understand you, it's important for you to stay determined. When you're sick, you must seek treatment and not delay your condition. Keep going! I support you! Feel free to message me when you're feeling down! Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13109
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the mindset of those who play games with their ex?",
        "description": "After breaking up, shouldn't we just quietly move on and let each other move forward? So I'm very confused, what are the thoughts of those who can still play games together with their exes after breaking up?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this may be something that everyone who has experienced a breakup will go through. The perspective of the original poster is that after a breakup, it is best to cut off all contact with the ex-partner to avoid unnecessary trouble. The original poster believes that this is good for both parties because after a breakup, we will miss each other, and if we frequently contact each other, it is not conducive to ending the relationship and will make both people very painful. However, some people may not be able to do this. Perhaps they still think about each other but have no other way to interact, so they occasionally invite the other person to play a game. Maybe some people have completely let go of their ex and can be friends with them in a candid manner, playing games occasionally, which is also normal. As long as it doesn't affect the other person's life, it's fine.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15287
       },
       {
        "question": "Married for 10 years with my spouse, have a 6-year-old child, but not happy in life, can only tough it out?",
        "description": "I have been married to my partner for ten years, and our child is six years old, but I am not happy. They are always critical of me, finding fault in everything I say or do. I am truly exhausted. I sometimes think that death is the only way for it all to end, but I can't bear to leave my child behind. I have to keep going, even though it's tough. Many nights, I have to motivate myself to sleep. I have already purchased sleeping pills, fearing that one day I might just end it all. Whenever they're unhappy, we end up in a cold war, which lasts for a long time. I have to lower my head, apologize, and try to please them, only then can we move on. At home, they yell at me, always saying that things would be better without me. In the more than ten years we've been together, they have never once said sorry. They have never felt that they were wrong - they always believe they are right. Sometimes I question if I was born into this world by mistake, that I shouldn't have been born. It's just too tiring to grow up, dealing with being a parent, work, and marriage.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Darling, I know you have been enduring and suffering in silence. But life belongs to you, and it should not be influenced by others. Like you said, you cannot let go of your child because that is love and responsibility. When there are difficulties in your family, don't stay silent and wait for others to understand you. Take the initiative and have a serious discussion with your spouse in a gentle manner about your issues. When it comes to the serious topic of life, everything else becomes unimportant. Consider yourself more, as life is also your responsibility. Besides life, there are many other things. You just need a temporary rest and time to digest the accumulated matters. Give yourself some relaxation and pleasure. Even if the discussion doesn't result in a resolution, you will still live beautifully and freely on your own. It's not your fault, don't keep compromising. People are equal, and no one is obligated to endure discomfort. Family requires the commitment of two individuals. Hugs to you, you must stay strong! When you encounter problems, solve them instead of overthinking, as it will worsen your sleep issues. You are the one who has been wronged, and it must not be you who leaves. Many people need you, and someone who only hurts you will never cherish you. We all hope you stay and live beautifully.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17190
       },
       {
        "question": "Depressed and suspicious, unsure if this relationship can continue, what should I do?",
        "description": "I have been feeling a bit depressed recently. I am unsure whether my significant other is intentionally or unintentionally neglecting me, as they often take a long time to reply to messages and their responses seem rather perfunctory. I don't know if this relationship can continue.",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, security",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The topic mentioned two issues. One is feeling depressed recently, and the other is suspicion towards the boyfriend. Regarding the \"neglect\" from the boyfriend, it's unclear whether he suddenly started responding to messages slowly or if he has always had a similar pace but the topic starter used to understand it and now feels it's too slow due to their own mood issues. Since there is doubt, why not just ask him directly? Speculating won't lead to any answers and it doesn't help with one's own mood or the relationship. It'll only create trouble for oneself. If there are problems between the two, then face them directly, communicate, and resolve them. If he does have other thoughts, then cutting losses in a timely manner can also be a gain. If the topic starter's own state is not good and their attitude towards the boyfriend's usual behavior has changed, then it brings up the well-known ABC theory from psychology. Our emotional state (C) is not directly determined by the event (A), but by our attitude (B) towards it. This brings us back to the topic starter's judgment of their current state. Depression usually has a reason or trigger event that leads to the depressive mood. Once this issue is resolved, the emotions will also adjust. We all need support from those around us - family, friends, and of course, the boyfriend is very important. Even if he can't directly solve the problem, he can listen to the topic starter vent, accompany them for a meal, and show understanding and acceptance towards their distressing emotions and conflicts. This can greatly help alleviate the depressive state. Maybe the boyfriend is unsure of what to do or feels helpless and avoids the topic because the topic starter is unwilling to share their feelings or rejects his attempts to provide help.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 10,
            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 10,
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            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 33,
            "end": 103,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 103,
            "end": 213,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 213,
            "end": 306,
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           },
           {
            "start": 306,
            "end": 371,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 371,
            "end": 470,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 470,
            "end": 533,
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           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5790
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the significance of the theme of separation in the final session of the mental growth group?",
        "description": "Today is the last session of the personal growth group that I have been attending. In the previous six sessions, the facilitator did not mention the topic beforehand. It was only after the members arrived that the facilitator slowly guided us to open up ourselves. However, before the last session, the facilitator informed us early on that the theme would be \"separation\". During today's session, I thought there would be a summary from each person or some kind of farewell message from the facilitator, but there was none of that. We just chatted and hugged each other before it ended. I had prepared my thoughts for this session for a week, but they were not needed. Why did the facilitator emphasize this session? Is it because she wants us to walk our own path without relying on her? Or is she concerned that some individual members might keep bothering her with questions after the group sessions end?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "What kind of person is your advisor? I think in the past it was his teaching style, but now that it's almost over, let's have something special, everyone relax, and let ourselves relax too? Don't you think those two words are cool? Hehe, maybe his intention is very pure, just want to propose a theme, just like someone who only likes red, if you say it likes red, it means something about it... Maybe the advisor's purpose is to make you understand purity? You can read \"Forbidden Fruit\" in the book \"The Left-Handed Genius and the Right-Handed Madman\" (recommended by a friend).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11698
       },
       {
        "question": "After the calmness in a marriage, should we continue or say goodbye?",
        "description": "30 years old, female, married for 2 years, daughter is 1 and a half years old, in a long-distance marriage. Both husband and wife are employed, and both come from farming backgrounds. I bought a house where I work, and my mother-in-law helps to take care of the child. I pay the mortgage, as well as the living expenses for myself, my child, and my mother-in-law. In the early stages of my husband's job, his salary was low, and he often needed financial support from me. Later, I discovered that he had taken out loans to invest in stocks. Despite earning more than me, he lost all the money through stock trading, and now owes over 170,000 yuan. When I asked for the reason, he said he wanted to become rich and buy a house, which is why he invested in stocks. Later, he also bought amber and continued to use loans to invest in stocks. Every time he received his salary, he used it all to buy amber. When I advised him to make rational investments, he claimed that the returns from amber were higher. When I asked him for some living expenses, he said he had no money and was in debt. Currently, I am the one supporting the family and paying the mortgage, living paycheck to paycheck. He claims to be earning money to pay the mortgage but refuses to provide any living expenses. However, he continues to buy amber every month. Occasionally, when he comes home, he does nothing except cooking and ignores all the household chores. Our relationship has reached a point where we no longer argue about anything and we don't even want to stay in touch. Can this marriage continue? I am exhausted and no longer in love, but I still hold onto a little hope that things might get better in the future. Sometimes I think that ending the long-distance aspect of our relationship by moving to his city might improve things, but what if I lose my job and have no financial security?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello asker. I see a resilient and optimistic personality in you, but I also sense the endurance and suffering between the lines. You are torn between going left or right in the face of the current situation. In your analysis, your husband's desire for money is not based on rational analysis, leading to repeated investment failures. These investment failures may not be greatly improved by your compromise and concession. Therefore, personally, I think quitting your job is a big risk considering the current circumstances. Choosing to develop in his city may not be a wise choice, and it is even possible to lose your source of income due to your resignation, leading to even greater anxiety. Your current state seems to be under a lot of pressure, and when you have thoughts about whether to continue the marriage, it already indicates that you have doubts about your relationship and are wavering in your confidence to continue. However, holding onto a glimmer of hope, you are ready to face life's struggles and become a warrior. Your husband is putting all his thoughts into investments, stuck in a colorful dream of getting rich. Excessive obsession often makes it difficult to see the reality, and he is unwilling to create happiness through steady accumulation. He is more like a playful child, while you are the responsible caregiver, shouldering most of the burden. Perhaps you can understand his investment plans by communicating with him and ask what his intentions are. Regardless, to avoid unnecessary risks, it is really not advisable for you to quit your job until your husband's situation improves. As for whether to continue this marriage, others cannot give direct opinions. Only advice is to not easily tilt too many resources towards the other person, no matter what decision you make in the future. Holding onto essential conditions will give you enough confidence.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "start": 212,
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           {
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            "start": 408,
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           {
            "start": 481,
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           },
           {
            "start": 504,
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            "start": 538,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Whether to continue or say goodbye depends on when the other person can truly understand life and how long we can hold on. 1. Survivorship bias Many people can only see others making money from stock trading but fail to see those who have lost everything and even lost their lives because of it. It is common knowledge that there are risks in investments, but how many people can remain calm when they see others' assets multiply several times in a short period of time? The husband certainly saw others' gains and was tempted himself, so he started trying it out. Of course, during this process, he also tasted some success. However, due to the gambler's mentality, he wanted even higher returns, which led to repeatedly buying at the top, eventually accumulating significant debt. 2. Facing reality, what we should do now is first figure out how much debt the other person has accumulated outside and how these loans were obtained. When necessary, we can consult a lawyer to see if the other person's debt is related to our lives and pre-existing assets because, for many debt collectors, they only care about money, not emotions. At the same time, we also need to be honest with each other and set a deadline. If the other person fails to understand the importance of cutting losses in a timely manner, then we also need to consider ourselves and our children, after all, the cost of their education will only increase. Meanwhile, the other person has never fulfilled their responsibilities as a husband and father. The world and I still love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, getting married and having young children, with your mother-in-law taking care of the child while you work to pay the mortgage and living expenses. However, your husband not only doesn't make money but also invests in stocks and owes a lot of debts. It seems that you are quite angry about his irresponsible behavior that affects the whole family. Marriage is actually a mutual effort and requires contributions from both partners. It seems like your husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities as a husband, father, or son, but rather focuses on his own interests such as stock trading and investment. Regarding whether to continue the marriage or pursue a divorce, you should consider the pros and cons. If you choose not to divorce, you must accept that your husband may not change and will continue to not contribute and accumulate debts. Can you tolerate this? If you choose to divorce, you need to consider if you can take care of the child without your husband and mother-in-law's support, and also assess your financial capability. Both choices have their advantages and disadvantages, and your life will be different from the current one. What you need to consider is whether you can take responsibility for your decision and not regret it. You don't need to rush into making a decision; instead, analyze the situation rationally, weigh the pros and cons, respect your true needs, listen to the opinions of family and friends, and then make the best choice for yourself at the moment.\n",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear, sending you a warm hug! Your description vividly portrays the image of a hardworking mother who has to work to support the family and pay the mortgage, while also taking care of her children. I believe that you will also be their hope when both parents need it. You are a great mom, you work so hard! Hugs to you. On the other hand, your husband is completely different. In a long-distance marriage, he is more like a \"single\" young man, working and earning money for his own dreams of being a \"rich man\". When you compare the two, you realize that you contribute more to the marriage, both emotionally and financially. So, you may have a lot of reluctance, while your husband seems to just follow the script of life, getting married and having children, without needing to put in so much effort. The unequal state of your marriage has left both of you tired. Of course, there is a possibility to change the current situation through adjustments. When you don't have financial security or haven't found a way out, it is not recommended to give up your current life and job to move to your husband's city and live together. Unless you already have a job or your husband can temporarily support you and your child. Otherwise, your shared life will be even more difficult. If you have a better plan and reach an agreement with your husband, you can try living together, which will make your life easier with someone to share the load. But if your husband is not ready and doesn't have the ability to take responsibility, it's better not to live together immediately, otherwise there will be more conflicts. Your husband needs to be more practical, face reality, and work hard. Of course, investing in stocks or amber may make big money, but not everyone can do it. I hope your husband understands this sooner and wakes up. May your family of three live in harmony and happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! From your description, I understand that you are a hardworking and financially stressed individual. I can see that you put a lot of effort into your family but do not receive warmth and understanding from your husband. Being in a long-distance marriage is truly difficult for you. The hardships you face can only be understood by yourself. Perhaps your husband's stock trading is partly to earn more money for the family, to provide you with a better life. On the other hand, in a long-distance marriage, your husband is also left alone in an empty house, unable to escape from feelings of loneliness and isolation. Stock trading might be one way for him to alleviate that loneliness. When stock trading experiences a downturn, it can also affect his mood and cause him to be anxious and helpless. Just imagine, if you were not in a long-distance relationship, he could be with his wife, children, and his own mother, and he might not have as much time to invest in stock trading. He might prioritize taking care of various household chores, right? Both spouses need to sit down and communicate calmly. Stock trading is just a temporary psychological escape. The money earned through hard work truly belongs to oneself. Weighing between family and career, ending the long-distance marriage as soon as possible might be the best solution. Otherwise, the cracks between husband and wife will grow larger, posing a threat to the marriage. Such days may become increasingly difficult to sustain.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, thank you for your trust and invitation to discuss. I see that you are exhausted and desperate in your current marriage, but there is also a hint of nostalgia. Perhaps you need some space and time to explore what makes you nostalgic about this marriage. What has disappointed you in this marriage? What kind of married life do you desire? Is it in line with what your husband wants? What changes can both of you make to improve the quality of the marriage? Once you have a clear understanding of these aspects, you may have better and more suitable choices. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5871
       },
       {
        "question": "29-year-old woman, how can she improve her focus?",
        "description": "Nowadays, I always find it hard to concentrate on tasks. I easily get distracted, constantly wanting to check my phone or do something else. I fail to focus my energy on what I truly need to do. How can I improve my ability to concentrate?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, smartphone dependency.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, to improve your focus, you can make the following improvements. Clarify your motivation for doing this task. Before doing something, you should think carefully about why you are doing it and what goals you want to achieve. By clarifying your motivation, you will be more motivated to do things. Cultivate indirect interest in this matter. Interest is the best teacher. If we are interested in something, we will unconsciously want to do it. However, we are not interested in everything that we must do, so we need to cultivate our interest in the matter. Organize activities reasonably. When doing things, you should balance work and rest. After working for a while, give your brain and body a rest. Working in a tired state will definitely lead to more distractions. Avoid irrelevant distractions. We should not rely too much on our willpower and should avoid distractions from unrelated matters while working. For example, you can turn off your phone and work in a quiet environment. These are just some of my suggestions. You can give them a try. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! After reading your description, I have a certain understanding of the question you want to ask, and I also give you a virtual hug. From your description, I can feel that you have a good analysis of yourself and know where you are not doing well. Furthermore, you are seeking help from others on social platforms, which is better than what most people do. Thumbs up for that. Actually, to some extent, everyone has difficulty concentrating well. This is also a normal social phenomenon, given that we live in an era of technology and convenience, such as smartphones and computers. But at the same time, these temptations also distract our attention and make us spend a lot of time using them every day. So, if you want to improve your focus, it doesn't mean completely avoiding electronic devices, but rather using them appropriately at the right time and place. When it's time to complete your tasks, focus on them instead of thinking about playing with your phone. Therefore, I have summarized some methods that I hope can help you: (1) Categorize the things you need to do, know some strategies, start with easier tasks and gradually tackle the more difficult ones. Don't panic, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. (2) Find the motivation for the task you need to do, that is, understand the impact it can have on yourself. This will increase your interest in doing the task. (3) Give yourself positive affirmations, such as telling yourself that you can do it. Don't give up before even starting. (4) Develop the habit of focusing on small things every day, called \"gazing technique.\" Pay attention to concentrate with determination to overcome distractions. With focus, your awareness will gradually narrow to a narrow range, allowing your mind to gather and be invigorated. (5) Create a schedule to record what you should do at specific times to keep yourself organized. The world and I love you, wishing you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11682
       },
       {
        "question": "Regretting breaking up with your ex-partner, can you go and find her now?",
        "description": "Because I was too young and immature before, it led to our break up. After the break up, she started dating another guy. Now it seems like they have broken up. I'm just wondering if I should go and find her.",
        "keywords": "Love, how to win back your ex.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. Emotions are unpredictable. Some relationships can be patched up after breaking, while others cannot be repaired once broken. It depends on the intentions and determination of both parties. From your description, I can see that you have a willingness to reconcile because regret to some extent means that you didn't achieve or do what you think you should have done in the situation. However, many things cannot be undone, and even if they could, there would be consequences. First, carefully examine your own emotions and intentions. Do you want to get back together because you still like and care about this person? Or is it because you are not doing well on your own or simply because both of you are single now and it's convenient? Additionally, think about the reasons for the separation at that time. Have the problems and conflicts been resolved? You need to address the issues that led to the breakup first. The majority of couples who reconcile and then break up again often face the same problems because they didn't resolve the underlying issues; they only focused on their emotions. Give yourself some reasons to become firm in your decision, whether it is to reconcile or to leave. The decision to break or repair a relationship should be made jointly by the people involved. You can strive and make efforts, but don't disregard the other person's feelings and respect their choices. Once you have clarity about what you want and after considering the impact on yourself, if you want to reconcile, always remember to consider the girl's feelings. You can reach out again, express your feelings after the breakup, and reflect on what you have learned from the past and how you perceive the problems and conflicts that led to the separation. Clearly acknowledge your mistakes and immaturity, make your future plans clear, and be responsible for the promises you made. At the same time, learn to think deeply and considerately, and don't casually make promises you can't fulfill. Based on the feedback you receive from the other person, think about the next steps. But remember, regardless of what you choose, always value her feelings and thoughts. If you reconcile, cherish the relationship and your partner. If she decides to leave, let yourself let go as soon as possible, seek growth from the relationship, and focus on improving and enriching yourself. Value your own state when you are alone, and even in solitude, make sure you live a fulfilling life. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, sending you warm hugs~ I can sense that you still have feelings for the other person and you regret your actions. If the other person is currently single, I think you can approach them as a friend first, have conversations with them, and understand their thoughts and current state. Since you have been apart for some time and the other person has also experienced another relationship, their feelings for you may not be as strong as before. Therefore, I think you can gradually express your emotions and thoughts during the conversation. However, I think you should understand yourself better and determine whether you are capable of making different choices and actions compared to before. Because you may have broken up before due to certain reasons, do you now have confidence in avoiding the same situation? Before you decide to be with the other person, perhaps you should contemplate how you will pursue and handle your current feelings. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21190
       },
       {
        "question": "Don't want to share the fruits of success, joy, don't want to attract attention from others?",
        "description": "Not wanting to share the fruits of success and joy with others is mainly because I don't want to draw attention from others. However, the tree longs for tranquility but the wind never ceases. Whether you're willing or not, you have to be willing to share, and you will inevitably attract the attention of others. This is something that naturally and inevitably happens. So how should I go along with this trend? How can I stay true to myself and not mind sharing with others or their attention (it always feels like being watched like a monkey)? At the same time, what kind of growth will such different choices of being closed or open bring to oneself?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, stress, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, before answering your question, I would like you to reflect on why you might have the psychology of \"not wanting to share the joy of success with others and fearing attention.\" For example, is it because of some negative experiences in childhood, where you shared your successes with others but did not receive encouragement and affirmation, but instead faced criticism, jealousy, mockery, and even harm? Not every sharing will result in the same outcome as in the past. Once you become aware of the reasons, perhaps you will be less afraid to share. Now, considering your current state where you are indeed unwilling to share, how should you handle it? You can consider being more humble and give credit to others. For example, say that so-and-so helped create this success together with me and let others share the spotlight with you and shoulder some of this attention. However, it is important to note that this \"humility\" should be based on reality. It is best to mention specific things, such as what problems you encountered and how they helped you. Otherwise, it might come across as insincere.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "What does a sharing session bring? It's like a pear, which can be sweet or sour. You need to taste it yourself to experience it deeply. Moreover, a person who is willing to share is often happy and positive. Perhaps some people who watch you have ill intentions, but there should also be those with good intentions. You can observe and see. I suggest you try sharing. If sharing doesn't cause you any unacceptable losses, why not do it? Give a rose to someone, and your hand will still have the fragrance. Give it a try!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 14656
       },
       {
        "question": "High school students, who experience long-term emotional isolation and a lack of meaning in life, may find it challenging to maintain their motivation for studying.",
        "description": "I am currently in the first year of high school, and I have been experiencing emotional isolation for a long time. I have also been lacking a sense of purpose and motivation for a while. However, when I am at school, there is a larger environment and habitual studying routine, so I am still able to maintain a regular learning progress. During the pandemic, with online classes at home and increased social distancing, it is easy to overthink and I don't know what the purpose of studying and living is. How can I find goals and motivation?",
        "keywords": "Growth, work, and learning contribute to student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "For teenagers, interpersonal relationships are particularly important because they provide more recognition, understanding, and visibility. However, due to the pandemic and staying at home, these aspects may be lacking, leading to a decrease in sense of purpose, which is understandable. Online classes are different from regular classes - there is less interaction and poorer focus, and the home environment is not conducive to concentration. We all have a tendency to be lazy. As for goals, short-term ones could be academic progress, while long-term goals may involve getting into a specific university or choosing a major that one enjoys. It may also be helpful to envision what one's future self would look like in these scenarios. By discussing these matters with classmates, teachers, and parents, one's perspective may be broadened. Motivation stems from engaging in meaningful activities for oneself. To find such meaning, clear objectives are essential. Additionally, maintaining a good state of mind and stable emotions is important. For example, besides studying, it's important to have a regular schedule, maintain a balanced diet, engage in appropriate exercise, and interact with friends via phones or the internet because what you lack, others do too, so don't be afraid of disturbing them. If it's difficult to find goals through people around you, you can also try consulting professional organizations to help assess your interests and hobbies. Of course, talking to a counselor is also an option.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug yourself and don't be sad, don't be impatient. Everything will pass, believe in yourself. After reading your description, I feel a sense of connection. Although for me, the college entrance examination has been over for more than a year, but now I still have lingering fears. At that time, I also experienced the same situation as you, emotionally isolating myself. Then, as time went by, the emotional isolation became longer. My sense of purpose slowly faded away, and I didn't know what to do. I tried desperately to pull myself back and figure out what I wanted to do. In order to achieve this goal, I forced myself to read inspirational books and set goals. The result of doing this was that I fell into even greater stress and fear. Moreover, this stress and fear were fully unleashed during the college entrance examination, and there is no doubt that I failed. Later, long after the college entrance examination was over, I finally had the courage to face this fact, because my mood became calm and my mindset improved. I conducted a detailed analysis of this situation. Emotion isolation can be explained psychologically as a way of deceiving oneself to emotionally isolate from the real world. Such behavior over time can lead to emotional disorders, just like the issue you described. In response to this situation, my advice to you is as follows: 1. Try to get out of your isolated state. Proactively engage with people and things around you, engage with society. Try your best to expose yourself to the external world. 2. Establish your own social circle. In life, we not only need work but also interest and hobbies. Interests and hobbies help us build our own spiritual world and also help us better engage with the outside world. 3. Read more books, especially inspirational books. Inspirational books may have a relatively short-term impact, but if you continue reading, they will bring you infinite strength. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17813
       },
       {
        "question": "From having hardly any opportunities to interact with people, to not wanting to socialize with anyone?",
        "description": "I am a 90s generation who has been working for less than three years. Although my job is stable, it is far away from my parents. In these three years, no matter what happens, I am always alone. I rarely laugh out loud from the bottom of my heart. At first, I had few chances to communicate with others, and slowly I became reluctant to communicate. I would even deliberately avoid people, especially the opposite sex. Most of my weekends and public holidays are spent in my dormitory. It's not that I don't want to go out, but there really isn't anyone to accompany me. Taking annual leave has probably become the most anticipated and happiest thing for me throughout the year, because I can see the people I love, and it may only be when I return home that I can feel the breath of life.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the content of your description, one can feel that your social support system is very weak. Social support is important for a person's healthy growth and dealing with various stimuli. Good social support can help people maintain a good mood and reduce the production of negative psychological experiences such as loneliness and helplessness. These negative feelings can lower a person's mental health and reduce their ability to cope with negative life events. From the description, it can be seen that family is an important source of social support for you. Therefore, you should first seek more support from your family. If you don't have time to go home often, you can communicate with your parents and family through phone calls or video chats. Even simple sharing of daily life can make you feel the support from your family. I believe that parents also want to communicate with their children more. Secondly, learning good social skills and making friends is also an important form of social support. It may be difficult for you to suddenly expand your circle of friends. So why not start by going out more, even if you don't have anyone to accompany you, you can try outdoor activities or participate in activities that you are interested in. Starting from activities that you are interested in, with common topics to communicate about, can reduce the fear of social interaction.",
          "has_label": true,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, perhaps it's because you're far away from home, working in a new environment, and living in an unfamiliar city, which can make you feel uncomfortable and lonely. Maybe you can go out more on weekends to explore the city and get familiar with it. You can also participate in community activities to maybe meet new friends. During work, you can try to discuss work-related issues with your colleagues more and chat with them during breaks, gradually building a closer relationship. Later on, you can also invite colleagues to have meals or small gatherings on weekends, which can help alleviate your loneliness. Additionally, you can try to call or video chat with your parents and old friends more often to relieve your sense of isolation. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 10735
       },
       {
        "question": "I used to exhaust myself in relationships, but now I don't want to give too much in relationships anymore.",
        "description": "Once emptied in a relationship, I depleted myself. Now, in relationships, I don't want to give more actively or waste my energy and time. I don't want to waste even a minute and prefer to use my time to improve myself, with only a small amount of time focused on others. Is this normal? Is it right?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, deception and trust, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello. I see that you are describing a problem related to \"relationships.\" You used to be very dependent on relationships for a while, where you would invest a lot and think about others. I guess there may have been a bit of self-sacrifice involved. In that period or those relationships, you felt that you were giving too much and receiving very little in return. It's possible that the other person is a very rational individual who won't provide any emotional returns. Or perhaps, the way they reciprocate doesn't make you feel their goodwill. Even worse, they may have hurt you due to their own reasons, thus damaging the relationships you put so much effort into. If I encountered such a situation, I would also feel hurt and saddened. I would blame myself for being so foolish, why did I invest so much of my time and experiences only to end up with nothing in return? I would also blame the other person for being so callous; after all, shouldn't relationships be equal? It's really unfair! So, you are not willing to invest in relationships anymore, afraid of being hurt again. Seeking benefits and avoiding harm are also instinctive for humans, so I understand you well. Now you are facing a conflict within yourself, feeling that spending less time with others doesn't seem right. Or, perhaps it's like social anxiety disorder claims in society, or you haven't experienced the nourishment of relationships. I think regardless of what it is, you are being critical of your current state. So you feel a bit conflicted. But I see what you are doing now is very good! You are improving yourself, and improving oneself will, to some extent, bring rewards and prevent us from being disappointed again; on the other hand, we also gain the ability to help others more effectively. When you are willing to return to relationships, you will be better able to treat yourself well and \"give\" in a better way. I hope my answer has been helpful to you. Under the starry sky, I am with you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. 1. In the past, I have been hit in interpersonal relationships, feeling that my efforts have not yielded results, and feeling disappointed. 2. Now, I am ready to focus on myself and pay attention to myself, not sure if this is the right thing to do. [Analysis and Advice] 1. Firstly, it is definitely beneficial to focus on personal growth. Spend more time thinking about the future direction, practical learning and work, calm down from dealing with interpersonal relationships, slowly sort out your thoughts, and focus on your dreams and needs. It is the right thing to do. 2. The development of interpersonal relationships and sincere interaction with others are important parts of personal social development. However, when you feel suppressed in the interpersonal relationship environment, it is advisable to take a break, temporarily disconnect from others, and engage in more thinking. Perhaps after a period of time, there will be new understanding of past discomfort and sadness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20510
       },
       {
        "question": "Men, standing and urinating in the men's restroom, a homeless person stands next to me and engages in lewd and obscene behavior?",
        "description": "I am a man. I was using the public restroom outside the high-speed train station when a homeless man came into the next stall and masturbated. It made me feel disgusted, and I cursed in my mind. I quickly left, afraid of potential conflict or catching any infectious diseases. Back on the train, I couldn't shake off the feeling of disgust. I felt angry and wanted to hit someone. The more I thought about it, the more furious and anxious I became. It feels like the world is so disgusting. On top of that, my family has recently been deceived and lost money. I feel like I can no longer trust anyone outside. It's so difficult. It seems like everyone wants to take advantage of you or exploit you. I'm still single, and I feel like I might end up growing old alone. It's terrifying. It's become very hard for me to genuinely connect with others.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social anxiety, deception and trust, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, I'm really sorry to hear that you went through something terrible and that encountering a terrible person had a negative impact on your mental well-being. It seems like you haven't been able to forget about this incident and it makes you feel disgusted. I want to give you a virtual hug and first of all, I want to acknowledge that you did the right thing by not engaging in a conflict with the homeless person right there. You never know if someone who is homeless might have mental health issues, and if a conflict had occurred and led to irreversible harm to your physical well-being, it would have been a disastrous situation. I want to applaud you for your rationality in handling the situation. Secondly, because you didn't react in the moment and release your frustration, you're now holding onto this incident and it's constantly on your mind. Now that the incident has already happened, do you think there's any way you can make yourself feel a little bit better? For example, writing in a journal to vent your emotions or imagining what you would do if you were to encounter a similar situation in the future. Maybe going to the gym and punching a sandbag to release your inner resentment? Or going for a run or engaging in physical exercise to exhaust yourself physically. Exercise can help you burn off pent up energy and if you're really tired, you won't think too much about it. Plus, working out can make you stronger and boost your self-confidence. I heard you mention that some not-so-great things have been happening at home recently, and perhaps these recent events have made you feel really down and overwhelmed with the stresses of life, leaving you breathless. However, as long as we can hold on through the darkness of the current stage, the light will eventually come, and life will get better. Everything bad will pass, and a beautiful future is waiting for you. It's possible that because you've encountered so many bullies lately, you might feel like everyone in society is bad. But that's not really the case. If you carefully think back, you will find that there have been people in your life who treated you kindly, perhaps it was a neighbor or even a stranger. I hope you can open your heart and sincerely treat others with kindness because love and kindness are mutual. Treat others the way you want to be treated. I truly wish that one day, you will find someone who loves you and whom you love in return.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13258
       },
       {
        "question": "How can high school students confirm if they are gay?",
        "description": "I am a high school student and recently, I saw a girl in the neighboring class that I really like. We first met at a lecture in school, and I was thrilled to find out that she is in the class next to mine! Every time we have a break, I can't help but sneak a look at her. She is really nice, a bit cool with slightly short hair and a slightly lifted corner of her mouth, like a half-smile. I really enjoy watching her, but I wonder if I'm weird. I'm afraid that I'm just admiring her and not really liking her, but at the same time, I'm afraid that it's just a passing infatuation... I want to be friends with her, but I'm too scared to approach her. It feels awkward, and I just wish I knew her.",
        "keywords": "Romance, sexual orientation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "*From the description of the OP, I understand that you have a crush on a girl, and every time during the big break, you can't help but run to the front to sneak a peek at her. But you're afraid that you might only be admiring her, and at the same time, you feel that you actually like her. But you're scared that it might just be a passing fancy, and you want to be friends with her but you're too afraid to approach her, feeling very awkward. You're also scared that you might be abnormal. Homosexuality refers to individuals who only feel love and sexual desire towards people of the same sex, and individuals with this sexual orientation are called homosexuals. Sexual orientation is a complex issue, and there is no superior or inferior orientation. The realization of one's sexual orientation is influenced by personal experiences, social and cultural environment. Sexual orientation can only be determined by the individual themselves, based on their own intuition, feelings of attraction, and desires. Others cannot judge it. If you only feel sexual pleasure towards the same sex, then you might be a homosexual, but if you feel sexual pleasure towards both sexes, then you might be bisexual. Regardless of which orientation, it is a normal psychological phenomenon and does not mean you are abnormal. It's just that in traditional beliefs, homosexuality and bisexuality are not accepted by everyone and are considered deviant. But from a scientific perspective, sexual orientation has a genetic basis. Every orientation should be respected, so even if you like the same sex, you should not be classified as abnormal. You should be respected just like heterosexuals!",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 100,
            "type": "Restatement"
           },
           {
            "start": 100,
            "end": 139,
            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 139,
            "end": 251,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 251,
            "end": 361,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 361,
            "end": 384,
            "type": "Information"
           },
           {
            "start": 384,
            "end": 434,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7662
       },
       {
        "question": "A 22-year-old woman feels very confused about her job and doesn't know what she is suitable for.",
        "description": "I have been staying at home recently and feeling confused about my work. I don't know what kind of job suits me. I worked as a teacher and in foreign trade for a month, but felt they weren't suitable for me. I can freely express myself with people I am familiar with, but I don't feel like talking to people I am not familiar with. My personality may be more introverted. Can you please tell me what is wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Career, career decision-making skills, work stress",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Did you just graduate and enter society? This is a stage of transitioning identity, adapting to new social roles, and seeking self-identity. It is also a stage of exploration and experimentation in our work experience and career. Many people, like you, feel confused and lost. Our understanding and awareness of ourselves are constantly changing and developing. \"Who am I as a person?\" \"What are my characteristics?\" \"What can I do?\" \"How can I develop?\" \"What are my life goals?\" These are things we need to think about and understand. By coming here and expressing your confusion, you have taken a good first step in self-awareness, reflection, and self-awareness. To understand ourselves, we can start with our personality traits. If you feel that you are introverted and not good at communication, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have an introverted personality. It may be due to a lack of communication skills. The fact that being a teacher or working in foreign trade may not be suitable for you doesn't mean it's because of your personality. There may be other external reasons, such as personal experience or job requirements. Therefore, you need to objectively understand your personality traits, without hastily labeling yourself or denying yourself. Instead, put aside the judgment of your personality, and focus on identifying your strengths and weaknesses, such as your inner preferences and what you enjoy and excel at, as well as what you dislike doing. In order to have a more scientific understanding of your personality traits and career direction, I suggest you take a career personality test (MBTI). The assessment section offers this test. After understanding your characteristics and career characteristics, you can combine your abilities, skills, and interests to find a career that suits you. What was your major? What knowledge and skills do you possess? What are you good at? What have you previously excelled in and achieved? What things are you interested in and have the passion and perseverance to pursue? These questions can help you discover what you want to do and can do. Then, you can search for corresponding job opportunities and give them a try. Communication skills are necessary for all kinds of work, not just for teachers and foreign trade. Therefore, you need to improve your communication skills to overcome your weaknesses in this area. You can learn communication techniques and interpersonal relationship management methods through online courses and books, and then practice them. You can also ask friends to assist you in practicing your communication skills and gradually engage in communication and interaction with colleagues and strangers. Most importantly, you need to establish confidence and affirmation in yourself. Believe in your self-worth, believe in your abilities, and believe in your determination to face challenges. The first few years in the workplace are a process of exploration, trying, and finding your personal positioning and career direction. Even if a certain job is not suitable or doesn't last long, it is still an opportunity to try. Regardless of the job, there is a process from being unfamiliar and confused to repeated trials, and ultimately becoming familiar and proficient. This is a process of learning and growth, and it is normal to encounter some setbacks and difficulties. Through continuous learning, we can absorb and improve ourselves, gradually adapt and become familiar with job requirements, and eventually find a truly suitable and sustainable career direction. Have the courage to try and explore, and you will find your career path. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is often the case that not every job and environment are good. Different places have different atmospheres, and the feelings are also different, allowing oneself to have more thoughts. I think sometimes I am slowly changing, my attitude towards work and friends, and there will be slight changes, making myself just find a suitable way of life, and also striving for the life you want, living happily and carefree.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 827
       },
       {
        "question": "Pregnant and without the company of loved ones, and not wanting to burden them, what should I do?",
        "description": "28 years old, four months pregnant. Before getting pregnant, I was just starting my career and my family life was harmonious. I used to be able to handle my emotions and anxieties well, and I rarely experienced emotional breakdowns. But since getting pregnant, I have been experiencing severe morning sickness and have had to rest at home, unable to work. At the same time, my husband has been assigned to work in another town and is often not at home. My parents divorced when I was young, and my mother is far away from me. My father's business keeps him busy, so I rarely see him. My close friends all have families and children, so they are rarely available to accompany me. The severe morning sickness has caused me to lose a lot of weight and lose energy. At first, my determination was still strong, and I would share my discomfort with those around me. But their response was usually \"all pregnant women go through this.\" I understand that, because only when something happens to oneself can one truly understand it. They can't really help me much, so I have to adjust on my own. However, recently, both mentally and behaviorally, I have become more and more listless. I have no interest in anything I do, and even taking a shower or going out requires great courage and motivation for me. I spend my days eating, throwing up, and dozing off. I want to do things but can't. I am tormented by indecision, anxiety, and constipation. Is there anyone who has had a similar experience who can give me some advice on how to get through this phase without troubling others?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotion regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Good evening! If your focus has always been self-centered, you may get lost in the phenomena and start approaching your family, husband, neighbors, and friends from a negative emotional perspective. In fact, when there are negative emotions, there will also be positive emotions because people are holistic beings, with both good and bad aspects. So how do we activate positive emotions? First, start with the absorption of the baby (BB). Put yourself aside for a moment. I believe the doctor will tell you about the developmental characteristics of the baby. At four months, you can feel her slowly moving inside your belly. Isn't it amazing? Then, do you want your child to inherit your sensitive and melancholic personality? I believe every mother wants the best for their child and wants to give them the best. And the best thing is a positive and optimistic attitude, and the courage to face life. Finally, do some things in the community that you can handle, helping with small tasks between neighbors. A person's contribution is a reflection of their value. In other words, when you give others a smile, you are teaching your child through your actions that being someone who helps society is important. In the future, your neighbors will also help you, and you will find like-minded mothers to face life together. Dear, you are not alone. There is a little baby feeling the changes happening to you. It is up to you to decide whether you want them to feel good or not. Keep going! Looking forward to your good news.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, regarding morning sickness, some people may experience it throughout their entire pregnancy, while others may gradually feel relief later on. I understand that the feeling of constantly vomiting after eating is unpleasant, but even if you vomit, you still need to eat. You need to understand that the reason you must eat is because your baby needs nutrition, so you have to eat. Only when you feel well-fed and mentally in a good state can you think about doing things. As for constipation, I would suggest that you exercise, otherwise it is not beneficial for both you and the fetus.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5539
       },
       {
        "question": "What does it mean when someone constantly encourages drinking? Does it mean they look down on him?",
        "description": "What is the psychology of someone who keeps pushing others to drink at a dinner table? When they can no longer drink, yet still continue to urge others to do so, what does it mean? Today, my partner went to attend an engagement banquet. The other party was getting engaged and my partner wanted to bring me along. Initially, I didn't want to go since I don't know them personally. However, he insisted several times, so I went. After sitting down, several people started to toast. One of his friends was there too and his face turned red from drinking before leaving halfway through. After that, the person getting engaged started pushing my partner to drink, as did his cousin and another friend. He had already consumed about six or seven bottles and couldn't drink any more. But the last bottle was still insisted upon by that person, and his cousin poured it out for him without him drinking it. After leaving, he vomited and had difficulty walking due to feeling uncomfortable. Since I couldn't understand the dialect and didn't know how to react, I only intervened once in the middle, saying that he couldn't drink anymore. I don't know how to respond in other instances as I don't want to do anything inappropriate. Did his friend intentionally keep urging him to drink out of disdain or to make him look bad?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, boundaries in personal relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the act of urging people to drink is a drinking culture in China, where the more one drinks, the more satisfied the host would be. Therefore, it depends on the specific customs and practices of the particular place. Urging people to drink occurs in different situations. When the host urges people to drink, it is to ensure the guests have a good time. Friends may urge each other to drink either out of deep emotions or as a prank. As for the situation you mentioned, whether it is a sign of looking down upon someone, it seems that there is no explicit intention stated to make someone look down upon. You can follow and consult with me, hoping to help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20564
       },
       {
        "question": "17-year-old girl, recently she has always felt that something is wrong with her body for the past year.",
        "description": "In the first half of the year, I couldn't fall asleep before 1 am despite the school lights being turned off at 9 pm. I would just stare blankly, as if falling asleep, but still kept my eyes open and couldn't sleep. This lasted for a month or two and then never happened again. In the past three months, I have been feeling difficulty concentrating, experiencing insomnia, chest tightness, and shortness of breath. I have been having auditory hallucinations and constantly thinking about how to harm others severely and cause them financial and reputational losses over trivial matters. I feel uncomfortable in crowded places and always have the sensation that there is something wrong with my body. I constantly fantasize about scenarios of falling off a building or jumping into a river. Before even starting a task, I already imagine the worst possible outcome and dare not proceed. In the past two weeks, I have been engaging in binge eating, even when not hungry, and it makes me nauseous and want to vomit, despite sometimes feeling full without having eaten much.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, disease diagnosis, treatment methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~~~ From the description given by the topic poster, I understand that the current problems causing confusion for the topic poster include poor sleep, difficulty concentrating, easily having extreme thoughts when facing others, and often involuntarily imagining negative things. First, I would like to ask when did these problems start to appear? Are there any differences between the current life and the normal life in the past, such as suddenly increased academic pressure or some unpleasant events happening in the first half of the year? The topic poster may want to carefully think about whether there are any \"triggers\" that caused the appearance of these problems. It is also helpful to seek assistance from close and trusted people around you to see if there are any reasons that you haven't realized. At the same time, we should relax our emotions and stop guessing randomly about ourselves. We may want to consider when these situations do not occur in our daily lives, as this may be the key to helping us solve the problem. When these problems occur, we can try to shift our attention and detach ourselves from these thoughts. If you find that your problems are persistently worsening.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13600
       },
       {
        "question": "The boss sends work instructions via WeChat at any time, and the brain has been under long-term stress for several years, what should I do?",
        "description": "The brain is constantly in a state of work and contemplation, causing headaches and tension whenever there is a notification on WeChat. It becomes difficult for the person to relax. Sleep and appetite are also affected. This situation has been going on for several years. How can it be resolved?",
        "keywords": "Occupation, work pressure, work fatigue",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There is a saying that work is like being in a relationship, with both active and passive roles. Active individuals are able to keep up with the pace of their work or partner, and think ahead by considering plans and strategies. Passive individuals, on the other hand, are carried forward by their work or partner. Maybe you don't treat work like a romantic relationship, but you can still make an effort to align with the development of your work and go with the flow, especially since you have several years of experience working with your boss. It's like being a coordinator for a ribbon-cutting ceremony; you should always be prepared with extra pairs of scissors in case a leader is added unexpectedly. If you feel mentally strained, it's not because your talent is lacking, but rather a problem with your mindset. Look at the issue from a different perspective: you're not just working for your boss, but also working for yourself. After all, work is meant to solve our survival problems, demonstrate our value, and achieve daily goals, among other things. By changing your perspective, you can prevent your brain from feeling exhausted and achieve a more enjoyable work and learning lifestyle. Yes, human beings grow through constantly overcoming challenges. It's like how we prefer to stay in big cities rather than small towns, claiming that there are more opportunities, but in other words, that just means there are more challenges. When you are able to handle the instructions of a leader at any given moment, isn't that like having cheat codes in life?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7016
       },
       {
        "question": "Output determines input. If you want to continue writing, how can you improve your output ability?",
        "description": "They say output determines input. How can we continue writing and improve our output skills? What are the ways to learn to output?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, development patterns, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, if you are interested in reading and writing, the most effective way to improve is to be consistent and there are no shortcuts. 1. Read a lot, starting with topics that interest you, gradually accumulating knowledge to achieve qualitative leaps. 2. Accumulate good words and sentences during the reading process to build a good material library for writing. 3. Write regularly, set a daily goal for output, practice makes perfect. 4. Learn some writing techniques, such as the writing therapy camp on the platform. 5. Communicate with others, browse websites, and accumulate more materials. 6. You can use online platforms such as Zhihu and Weibo to publish your own articles. This is also an interactive process, as having followers can encourage you to produce more content.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4277
       },
       {
        "question": "How to deal with being unable to express one's views calmly and having unstable emotions?",
        "description": "Feel that one's emotions are always extreme and cannot calmly express one's own opinions, what should one do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I believe many people might have the same feeling as you, and there are indeed many such people in this world. Often, many thoughts can be extreme. Actually, no one is wrong, it's just that everyone has different thoughts because we all have different living environments and know people of various types. So, we are bound to have differences. I suggest that, when you feel emotionally agitated next time, you can focus on something. Counting numbers could help if there are any objects with grids around you. That can help to alleviate our emotions. There are many ways to relieve our emotions, such as running more often in your daily life. Communication is the bridge between people. If you can calmly express your own opinions, then you can achieve more with less effort. If you always engage with others while carrying your own emotions, not only will it make them uncomfortable, but it might also complicate the situation further. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1821
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I always have the urge to cling to my boyfriend?",
        "description": "For more than a year and a half of being in a relationship, every time my boyfriend takes two to three hours to reply to my WeChat messages, I would feel anxious. If he doesn't reply for half a day, I would start to go crazy. Every time I watch breakup videos on TikTok, I suddenly feel sad, anxious, and worried that my boyfriend doesn't want me anymore. I always hope to marry my boyfriend soon, even though I know he's not ready yet. Every time I push for marriage, he would say something like, \"Your family is from the countryside, your financial situation is not good, and your parents have a heavy burden.\" But he has never said anything like that to me. Recently, my boyfriend has become very distant, and I am even more afraid of breaking up. I always want to go to his workplace to find him.",
        "keywords": "Love, dependency attachment, sense of security, and love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, OP! Hello. Thank you for the invitation. I carefully read your description and I can sense your anxiety and unease. On the surface, it seems that you're worried because you're 28 years old, have a boyfriend from a rural area with not so great financial conditions, and the crucial point is that your boyfriend is not mentally prepared to get married yet, which makes you anxious and afraid. However, you can calmly reflect on your usual habits in life. Whether it's going out, traveling, or shopping, do you always want someone to accompany you? Otherwise, you don't want to go, and you can't make up your mind about where to go. You're also very filial at home, and everything your parents say is final. Based on the clingy appearance, you really want to find someone to rely on. Maybe the education we received from childhood to adulthood has been filled with setbacks, so we're unsure about our self-approval, and we feel isolated and helpless. So when it comes to finding a boyfriend, the starting point is not to find someone to share happiness with, but to find someone who can shield you from the wind and rain. Different motives lead to different mindsets. Insufficient self-awareness makes you lack confidence, and in the process of searching for a partner, you don't have the confidence to reach higher. The result of seeking downward is that you even despise yourself. Of course, in order to find a good life, first, you need to be good yourself, so you can radiate to someone who resonates with you and mutually attract each other. Choose what you love, and love what you choose.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems that the topic owner has a strong fear of being abandoned in romantic relationships. In fact, many people have this feeling. Unfortunately, it is easy to try to hold on to the other person because of this intense anxiety, seeking assurance from them, which makes the other person feel overwhelmed and eventually leads to a real breakup. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Actually, looking at the topic, one can't help but be curious: what is behind the topic owner's intense anxiety? At least, seeing how the topic owner always points out his boyfriend's lowliness and inferiority when pressuring him to marry, and how the topic owner is 28 and presumably working and earning income but only willing to offer a reward of 1 yuan, these seem to be clues that hint at a very low sense of self-worth. Perhaps there are really good partners in the world who can help alleviate this insecurity, but I think it's best for the topic owner to face themselves - not only on a rational or logical level, but perhaps more on an emotional or relational level. If simple self-reliance is not enough to transform this, psychotherapy can be a good choice.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If we trace back to the root cause, it is likely that the original poster experienced some separation trauma during childhood, such as longing for parental companionship but not receiving enough fulfillment. This leads to an abnormal longing for a sense of belonging and interpersonal connections in adulthood. No one is without separation trauma, everyone has experienced it to varying degrees. Specifically in intimate relationships, there is always one person who tends to seek more connection while the other person tends to desire more freedom and independent space. It is possible that if the partner were swapped, the roles between the two individuals would also switch, depending on their respective trauma types and the way their defense mechanisms interact with each other. In your relationship, you have more separation anxiety than your boyfriend. So the more you try to hold on tightly to him, the more he wants more space; the more forcefully you hold him, the more he will fear and distance himself. In this situation, if you can calm down and be with yourself, there is a higher chance that he will eventually come to you on his own. Calmness does not mean acting cold, but rather being with your inner feelings of anxiety and unease.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19386
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old female student, currently in her second year of college, is unable to control her emotions.",
        "description": "I am currently in my sophomore year studying engineering. I feel that as a girl, engineering is quite difficult. The university I attend is a reputable one in China. When I first entered my freshman year, I felt a big gap, and I often reminded myself not to demand too much of myself. However, now that the second year of school has started for almost half a semester, I feel that I haven't changed much. In my first year, I had a decent GPA, ranking in the middle to upper range. Honestly, I don't think I'm smart, I just love studying. I often spend my time in the library whenever I have the opportunity, but every time I finish an exam, I feel that the effort I put in and the results I get are quite far apart. My friends also say that I love studying too much, but most of the time I feel like I have nothing to do, so I study or read novels. I also want to be more outgoing like others, go out and hang out with my college friends, have fun, but I feel like I have social anxiety, I don't like talking, and I have a distant relationship with every classmate. It feels like I'm alone since starting college. I also want to be a slacker, but I always have high expectations for myself for no reason. I'm so torn, the way I want to live and how I actually feel have a big discrepancy, and I feel exhausted every day.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear. Seeing what you've written reminds me of my college life. I can tell that you are someone who holds yourself to high standards, loves studying, and even considers grades to be very important. It seems like everything in life, except for studying, takes a backseat, right? First, let me give you a hug for your anxiety, okay? Next, let's find a quiet place and take out a piece of paper to ask ourselves a few questions. Firstly, is studying the most important thing for you? Secondly, besides studying, is there anything else you want to do? Thirdly, you mentioned wanting to socialize like others. So, do you have good friends? Fourthly, have you participated in any college clubs? Fifthly, if we set aside grades and let you choose something you enjoy doing, what would it be? Dear, do you have any answers? Regarding the first two questions, I think you already realized that I want to ask you: besides grades, what else do you care about? Are grades really everything in your life? I believe only you can answer this! If you have good friends, then you shouldn't have any problems with socializing. Try to find something you like to do, of course, apart from studying, and give yourself a chance to explore the outside world! Love you, little star. Take care! Muah!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6263
       },
       {
        "question": "How can one completely overcome the inability to control sexual desire?",
        "description": "In the early days, I would engage in unhealthy habits once or even twice a day. Back then, being young, I wasn't aware of the harm it could cause to my body, and I had no self-control. It wasn't until my body started showing changes (becoming thinner and uglier) that I realized the dangers of such habits. Now, my body has already experienced significant adverse reactions, so I want to completely quit.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, control, sexual desire.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, give you a warm hug. First of all, what Phil wants to say is that regarding your concerns about getting thinner, uglier, and experiencing obvious negative physical reactions, although I don't know the specific details, Phil believes that they are not necessarily related to long-term masturbation, or at least not significantly. It is important to take a more comprehensive and holistic approach to consider factors such as whether you exercise, pay attention to diet, have other illnesses, have a healthy mental state, and if any pathological psychology is reflected in your body. It is also crucial to ensure proper rest instead of staying up late all the time and depleting yourself. These factors can all contribute to getting thinner, looking unattractive, and experiencing negative physical reactions. Therefore, please approach this issue scientifically and rigorously, rather than attributing these problems solely to masturbation just because you have encountered some information or theories related to it. Sometimes excessive worries can also trigger such problems. Secondly, both men and women have the right to freely explore, choose, and manage their own sexuality. It is a natural part of our bodies and instincts. Reasonably satisfying sexual desires is permissible and should not be considered dirty, dark, nonexistent, or something that needs to be resisted, unless it involves sexual crimes and harm to others under the guise of various slogans. Lastly, everything should be done in moderation. Regardless of what it is, there is always a limit to its existence. Even good things can become bad or bring undesirable results when they exceed a certain limit. While drinking cold water is good, excessive consumption can lead to imbalances in the body's micronutrients and cause water poisoning. The same goes for many other habits and items. Therefore, all you need to do is two things: calm your emotions and avoid excessive worries, especially those that cause mental stress and burdens in life. Reduce the frequency of masturbation and adjust your daily routines, habits, and diet. I hope my answer can help you (\uff65\u03c9\uff65)\uff89.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4109
       },
       {
        "question": "In order to avoid or quit playing video games and watching TV, one needs to study diligently.",
        "description": "In order to avoid or quit playing games and watching TV, one works hard in studying and working. However, there is a strange feeling regarding this kind of studying, but it's hard to explain clearly. Why is that? Of course, working hard in studying and working is a good thing, but it always feels like something is missing.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, development patterns, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, I carefully read your description, and I hope my response can bring you some help. You said that you try to study and work hard to avoid playing games and watching TV, right? And you feel that this kind of studying feels strange, why do you feel that way? Let me try to analyze it for you.\n1. If there is a causal relationship between the two, it is difficult to have motivation for studying. If we work hard to study and work in order to avoid playing games and watching TV, few people can persist for a long time. Because playing games and watching TV are a form of relaxation, for many people, it is a reward. If we work so hard to overcome difficulties, to study, to work, our hard goals are to avoid something that makes us happy, think about it, doesn't it lack motivation?\n2. Change the perspective and stimulate the motivation to study. If we want to study and work hard, the most important thing is to stimulate the motivation to study and work. Interest is the best teacher. When we are interested in learning itself, we will have an inner strength to push us to learn, without having to overcome great resistance, the desire for knowledge will help us break through obstacles. You may even feel that learning is a kind of enjoyment, and you are happy to be involved. If there is no internal motivation, and you must complete some learning tasks, then you can rely on some external motivation. For example, the games you mentioned, watching TV. When you complete a certain amount of tasks every day, reward yourself by playing a game or watching half an hour of TV. This way, you will have some motivation to accomplish your goals. It is recommended not to set goals that are too big and difficult for yourself every day, otherwise, you will still feel difficult to achieve and create resistance.\n3. Entertainment and learning can coexist, and entertainment can promote learning. From the perspective of brain mechanisms, the brain needs a balanced state of tension and relaxation. If you are always in a tense state of learning and working, it may reduce efficiency. Many successful people care about relaxation, but relaxation is not just about playing games and watching TV, there is also exercise, listening to music, eating together, etc. If you feel that playing games and watching TV can relieve stress, then you can use this method, just pay attention to controlling the amount of time spent each day. For example, I personally watch TV for about an hour during lunch, which helps to alleviate the fatigue in the morning and makes my mood more pleasant. This will give me more energy to complete my work in the afternoon. In short, choose a relaxation method that suits you, and pay attention to controlling the time, achieving a harmonious balance between work and relaxation. That way, you will find that entertainment and learning can both be achieved. That's my answer, I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! First of all, no matter what, it is better to study hard to avoid or quit playing games and watching TV. Of course, there are many problems in this process. For example, in this state, what is your learning status and how much knowledge have you gained? Do you have appropriate learning goals? Because when you use studying to replace playing games, studying may become something meaningless. You may not know why you are studying and what you have actually learned. You are just finding another way to waste time. Of course, no matter how much you learn, I think as long as you learn something, it is better than nothing. If you always feel like something is missing, it is actually because there is a problem with your motivation for learning and a lack of reasonable learning goals. What can studying bring you when you choose it instead of doing something else? This is what you need to consider. And in this state, it is also important to pay attention to your learning status. How efficient are you in learning? How much have you learned? And most importantly, what are you studying for and what are your goals? Understand all these, and maybe you will feel that you are not lacking anything. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1466
       },
       {
        "question": "After I confessed my feelings, she agreed to give it a try, but the next day she started rejecting me and avoiding me in various ways.",
        "description": "In the past two months, I developed a liking for a girl, so I made up my mind to pursue her, to get to know her. The more I learned about her, the more I couldn't help but fall for her. She is my colleague, a homebody, and likes the same things as me. We also have many common topics. We often chat while working, which made everyone in the company think that we were already together. She is the type of girl who either wants it or doesn't want it. If she dislikes something, she will directly refuse you. Several male colleagues have pursued her before, but she rejected them outright. One downside is that she doesn't check WeChat frequently, so she only responds to my messages when she sees them. One day, I couldn't resist anymore and confessed my feelings to her. She said she could give it a try with me, but she couldn't guarantee her feelings towards me. However, the next day, she started rejecting me, refusing to order takeout together or even get bubble tea for me. She began avoiding me and stopped replying to my messages. When I asked her out for a walk, she declined without any tact. I don't know what I did wrong. I truly like her and I don't want to miss out on her. But her current attitude makes me daydream every day. I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's an avoidant personality. I feel helpless right now.",
        "keywords": "Love, dependency, attachment, and managing relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Little brother, you might have fallen into a pit. Let me tell you a rule of interpersonal communication to clear up your confusion. There's a book called \"Crucial Conversations\" that discusses the principles and methods of handling critical moments and interactions. It might be useful for you to take a look. A critical moment has three characteristics: 1. Significant differences in opinions, 2. Tense atmosphere, and 3. High-risk consequences. It seems like you are caught in the dilemma of high-risk consequences, where the outcome has a significant impact on you. This situation has led you into a crucial conversation. At the same time, whether he agrees with you or the outcome of being together is good is uncertain, and she has also been pulled into the crucial conversation by you. It seems that your emotions have been fully aroused, while hers may not be in a good state either, thus creating a tense atmosphere. As for differing opinions, it is likely to be manifested. Most people perform poorly in crucial conversations because they are already facing important issues, and the difference between handling them well or poorly is significant. At such times, due to excessive concern about the matter, once emotions are heightened, they forget what they should do and easily lose their rationality. The book explains that our genes carry experiences from ancient times, where the body would prepare for fight or flight in response to abnormal situations, with limbs congested and brain deprived of blood flow, resulting in almost zero thinking ability. Now imagine, when faced with a major decision, if our minds are no longer calm and our intelligence is nearly zero, what are the chances of us making a correct response? That is the main reason we regret afterward \u2013 the more important the decision, the higher the likelihood of regret. For example, after learning about crucial conversations, you might regret not clarifying things with her without rushing; at least you wouldn't have been so entangled. Unfortunately, there are no \"ifs\" in anything, the past is the past. Moreover, it is difficult to use rationality to explain matters of the heart. If she agrees with you afterward and immediately becomes deeply attached, then you've hit the jackpot. There is a psychological problem called compulsive overthinking, let me tell you a story to help you understand. A person was on a road trip when their car broke down halfway. They thought that the people in the houses by the roadside might have tools and decided to go borrowing. Standing at the door, they thought: How should I talk to them if I knock? If I say this, how might they respond? After they respond, how should I reply? If I say this, how will they respond?... In the end, they didn't even know if the person had tools since they imagined a complete scenario where the person didn't lend them any tools. As a result, when they knocked on the door, the homeowner's first words were: Do you think you're so great with your own car repair tools? Do you think you know how much she likes you? Haha, I've told you so much just to tell you not to overthink. We don't know what she is thinking, we can't even guess roughly! So, don't care too much about how she acts or thinks, remember our goal and strive actively towards it. For example, if you like her and she is also good to you, just act according to that mindset. If she seems indifferent, we can do it when others are not around. We don't know her thoughts, but that doesn't prevent us from being good to her, right? At the same time, we can assume her thoughts are positive and favorable to us. For example, she may feel embarrassed to be close to you in front of others, she may not understand close relationships, she may have fears and reservations, she may worry about your future, such as meeting the parents, she may have never been in a relationship and does not know how to face you, so she chooses to avoid it. Of course, these possibilities might not reflect her true thoughts, but we can only think and plan in these positive directions in order to improve our relationship, right? Never think about the terrible possibilities and outcomes; they will only make us even more clueless. That's all I have to say. I shared a little about crucial conversations with you, and if you're interested, you can look up more about it. It would be even better to find the book, as it will be of greater help to you. I don't know if your emotions are positive, but positive emotions will make us think about positive things more, which is beneficial for handling problems appropriately. Negative emotions, on the other hand, have the opposite effect and can easily lead to psychological issues. I hope you are prepared for this. May you ultimately win the heart of the beauty.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, it is definitely not avoidant personality. Secondly, if you are talking about avoidant behavior in the relationship, then it is not the case either. You two have not established a relationship yet, she just verbally agreed to give it a try. However, her abnormal behavior indicates that she may not be able to accept you, so she has been avoiding you. Your fantasies or desire to protect her are one-sided, it has nothing to do with her. Just because you are passionate about her does not mean she has to respond. Respect personal choices, you can openly ask her if she wants to talk. If she rejects you, then wish her well and announce that the \"trial period\" is over, you can still be friends in a straightforward manner. In our lifetime, we will meet many people and have feelings for many people. Intimate relationships should be mutual attraction, not one-sided giving. If you are currently upset because of her rejection, I hope you don't get discouraged. Look at this objectively, everyone has the right to choose. If she truly doesn't like you, then her actions are actually showing respect and not wanting to deceive you. You should also maintain a proper perspective and not be too distressed. I wish you to find the right person soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the change in the girl's attitude has left you feeling helpless and anxious, not knowing what she is thinking. You have no idea how to pursue her, and the many unknowns are making you restless. In the text, you also expressed that this girl is someone who knows what she wants. You have many similar interests and common topics, but you do not know how she views this relationship between the two of you. You also do not know if you have ever learned about the type of boyfriend she envisions and what expectations she has for her future life. After you confessed your feelings, she said she was willing to give it a try, but the next day she rejected you. What was the reason for her rejection? Try to understand her thoughts and feelings more, and see if you can connect with her from this perspective. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When she was considering giving it a try with you, she must have had a lot of thoughts because she also mentioned that she couldn't guarantee her feelings for you. Regarding her suggestion of giving it a try, you should have a good conversation with her to understand her mindset and mood when she responds to you. As for her avoidance the next day, it could be that she feels awkward because her words gave you hope, or it could be a deliberate avoidance. In facing this situation, since you are so eager as you mentioned, you should directly tell her in person that you two need to talk. Sending messages might not get a response, so you need to think carefully and ask clearly, as it is possible that the outcome could be just giving it a try without any follow-up. It may sound a bit irresponsible, but it could still happen. I hope you can be a bit brave and not let unpleasant things bother you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Since you say that your colleague is someone who sees things in black and white, and clearly rejects things she doesn't like, her attitude towards you is already quite obvious, isn't it? She doesn't reply to your messages, doesn't want to go on dates, even orders food and drinks for herself, and she already said she can't guarantee any feelings towards you when you confessed. Perhaps after thinking it over, she feels that you are not compatible with each other, so she has adopted a very obvious form of rejection. Maybe you really like this girl, so you prefer to believe in your fantasies rather than face the rejection. If a girl likes a guy, she would be very happy to accept gifts from him, and would even want to be responsible for him. Ordering takeaway or having bubble tea together is just a small part of it. I can understand the feeling of liking someone, but liking only works if it's mutual, right? Even if she has an avoidant personality, do you think you can sustain a relationship with her in this way? Can you save her? If she doesn't reply to messages, doesn't want to go on dates, and doesn't even want to share food and drinks with you, what kind of enjoyable interaction do you have? Besides feeling painful and helpless, do you have any other positive feelings? Even if such a relationship begins, it will not be a happy one. You can think about whether this kind of feeling has any meaning for you. Sometimes, whether we are happy or not is often an indicator of whether a relationship is suitable for us. The attitude this girl is currently taking is to avoid you. She refuses to communicate with you, treats you indifferently, and rejects any form of contact with you. But you really like her and want to communicate with her. So all of this is causing you great pain. Do you think you deserve to be treated this way? Why not choose someone who can communicate with you normally and is happy to accept your food and drinks? That way, both of you will be happy, right? The happiest moments in love are when the person we like also reciprocates our feelings and likes us back, right? Your helplessness is enough to illustrate the problem. At least this girl hasn't even considered you, which is why you are in so much pain. You can choose to persist, continue to ask her out, try to impress her, and see if she will agree one day; or you can choose to hit the brakes here, maintain a normal colleague relationship, respect each other, and above all, respect your own efforts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Stay calm, stay calm. At this moment, you must remain calm. Don't desperately yearn for a result. Give her some time to buffer. What you need to do is prove that you are worthy of her trust. Seize this time to improve yourself in all aspects - become more mature, learn self-discipline, exercise, strive for progress, have a broad perspective, and cultivate interests. She actually agreed to give it a try, so you should trust her enough. Don't let your thoughts run wild. Shift some of your attention towards self-improvement.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP: Hello! I think she sees you as a good friend. As for treating you well, it may be because you excel at work and she wants to have a good relationship with her colleagues (just a guess). But when it comes to romance, besides love, there are many other factors like money. When you like someone, you should first get to know them fully, as well as understand your own circumstances. If you meet the requirements, go ahead and pursue them boldly. If it doesn't work the first time, try again, even two or three times. But if you can't meet the requirements, it's better to find someone who is suitable for you. Those videos about electric bikes triumphing over BMWs only exist on platforms like TikTok and Kwai.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Maybe she is slow to warm up, maybe she is silently observing you. Your directness has caught her off guard. Most girls are more reserved. Pay attention to whether she has any interaction with other boys. If not, maybe you can slowly enter her heart. If she has contact with other boys, then find out about her growth experience and what kind of boys she values. How can you make her see that you are suitable for her expectations? If the expectations are appropriate, maybe you have a chance.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20595
       },
       {
        "question": "Being restrained by my family, I am an unloved child and I just want to die.",
        "description": "I feel restrained by my family, and they often annoy me and do not communicate with me properly. We frequently argue and fight. They treat me as a servant, using foul language if I don't obey their every word. They kick me out and don't care about anything related to me. They don't understand my emotions or show me any love. I am a child who is unloved. I don't have a mental illness, and I am very aware of what I am doing. I just want an easier way to die.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotion regulation, panic and helplessness, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP~\u203b Being constrained by family, poor communication, frequent arguments, not feeling loved, and only wanting to die, how to die easily. From your language, it can be seen that you are extremely unaccepting even repulsive towards yourself. Perhaps it is due to the original family reasons that have caused a serious deviation in your self-perception, leading to these negative evaluations. I don't know the reasons why your parents said those hurtful words to you, but what I want to tell you is that every person, besides being loved by others, can also be loved by themselves; when not encouraged by others, we can encourage ourselves. The source of love can come from others, but it can also come from oneself! When we cannot obtain the love and care we desire from others, we can find this sense of security within ourselves. That sense of security comes from self-identity and acceptance. Therefore, you first need to learn to accept yourself. The purpose of acceptance is not to make you content with the current situation, but to accept the imperfections in the present and strive to become better. You need to learn to objectively evaluate yourself, not always use negative words to describe yourself, and give yourself appropriate motivating words that can help you build the courage to face life! When we have an independent personality and have the power of speech, then try to communicate with your family, tell them about your grievances, your thoughts, and try to solve those stubborn problems. This is like a growing sapling. If you want to stand out in the forest, you must firmly root yourself underground. Only by making yourself strong can you withstand the ravages of the wind. This is the power of the self! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12894
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old girl, no matter what, it's always the girls who do the most and get the most tired doing household chores.",
        "description": "My mother talks every day about how girls should learn to do housework, saying that in the future, no matter what, girls do the most and the most tiring housework, and girls also have to have children, wash diapers, and other household chores. I think girls should have basic housework skills in order to take better care of themselves, but I don't think it's necessary for me to do more housework than boys for the rest of my life. If I am a full-time housewife with no income, it's normal to do more housework, but if the income difference between men and women in the family is not much, I really don't want to come home from work and still have to take on most of the housework. I have always believed that housework should be shared equally, rather than one party making all the effort. I am really conflicted now. Maybe I am a bit fussy and a bit of a straight woman, but I really can't stay at home all day like traditional women and do housework.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. The division of household chores within a family needs to be considered based on the actual situation of both partners in the marriage, as well as cultural background, individual personality traits, work intensity of both parties, and family structure, among other factors. From your description, it can be seen that your idea of household chore division is equal between men and women. You are currently unable to accept a future life where you have to do household chores every day. However, there is a conflict between this idea and the traditional concept that women play the main role in household chores. This has resulted in contradictions and conflicts for you. Your idea is correct. Every member of the family should bear a portion of the household chores or allocate them based on each individual's actual situation. However, our traditional culture has influenced the idea that the kitchen \"belongs\" to women and that household chores are also a woman's responsibility, and so on. However, in your future marriage relationship, it is possible to negotiate and allocate household chores with your partner. This depends on the type of husband you choose and what his thoughts on household chores are. It also depends on your work and living situation, as well as whether it allows for the equal distribution of household chores, and so on. Many times, we strive now in order to avoid a \"worse\" life in the future. It may be better to start working hard from now on. Future technological developments may also \"remove\" household chores from our lives, if you have a certain material foundation. It is possible that your thoughts at 19 are different from those at 29 or 39. No matter how beautiful the expectation, in real life it is all a mess. You need to try and make efforts to know. So if your goal is to achieve equal or allocated household chores in the future, you may need a family member who aligns with your thinking, and you both need to communicate and understand each other openly. Many times, things happen because of \"people.\" If you find the right person, the problem will be simpler. If not, you may need to exert more effort and accumulate a material foundation, so that you can \"free your hands\" and hire someone to do household chores and all the miscellaneous things. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12903
       },
       {
        "question": "Does raising flowers and plants really help to cultivate one's temperament? What is the underlying reason behind this?",
        "description": "Short-tempered and easily getting angry with family members, my daughter suggested that I try taking care of plants and flowers. I haven't tried it yet, but I've heard it's helpful from others. Does it work for everyone? What is the underlying mechanism behind it?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, and I want to congratulate you on wanting to make a change. You're doing great. It's important to realize your problems and take the initiative to solve them in order to ultimately find a solution. I'm happy for you. You have a daughter who cares about you, and I'll give you some advice on cultivating your temperament. Taking care of plants requires patience and a calm attitude. By persistently nurturing the plants, not only can you improve your emotional control ability, but you can also develop interests and relax your mind. Additionally, you can try to find other things that interest you. Having hobbies can make your inner world more stable, help regulate negative emotions in a timely manner, and make it less likely for you to get angry. These are just my suggestions, and I hope they can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19091
       },
       {
        "question": "I always like to push away others' kindness towards me, what's going on?",
        "description": "The closer others get to me, the stronger my resistance becomes. I searched on Baidu and it said it's due to a lack of security. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, empathy, and social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Apart from feeling insecure, it is also possible that you simply do not like the other person. For people we do not like or do not trust, their closeness can make us feel uncomfortable. Do you have any close family or friends? If you feel that they are good to you, do you feel resistant? If you have your own close friends, even if it's just one or two, then most likely there is no problem. But if you don't even have a close friend around you, then there may indeed be some issues. It would require more information from you to make a specific judgment. Sometimes when unfamiliar people are enthusiastic toward us, we may also feel uneasy, and even wonder if they have any ulterior motives. Because trust has not been established at this point, we tend to maintain a certain distance for safety. When this distance is crossed, our instincts generate resistance. So you need to ask yourself why you resist others. Do you find them repulsive? Is it possible that they have crossed your boundaries of safety? Or do you actually want to interact with them deep down but push them away due to shyness or fear of rejection? Do you have any issues with normal interpersonal relationships in daily life? How do you feel about colleagues and classmates whom you can get along with? If you have normal interpersonal relationships and have your own close friends, then it is very likely that you simply do not like the person who is trying to get close to you. In that case, do not force yourself to become close with others or even think that there is something wrong with you. Your own feelings are important. Follow your heart and accept the people and things that you truly love. Trust your inner self; it will guide you towards the people who are truly right for you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! Liking to push away others' kindness is not only due to a lack of security, but there may also be other reasons, such as your personality, cognitive level, attachment style, etc. So when you have such confusion, you need to explore the underlying reasons in greater depth. Generally, pushing away others' kindness implies that you have a relatively low sense of self-identity, and you may feel that you should not accept or deserve others' kindness. People with a more self-conscious personality may also experience this situation, as they may feel that they have little value and others should not be kind to them. It may also be related to your upbringing and your original family. In the process of storing files, if someone is always criticizing you, blaming you, and constantly telling you that you are not deserving...under such subtle influences, you may truly believe that you are not worthy of others' kindness. So, when you want to push away others' kindness next time, you need to pause and ask yourself more questions - why do I have to push it away? Why am I unwilling to accept it? Only by deeper awareness can you find the root cause of the problem and then effectively deal with it. If you feel that you are unable to achieve such profound awareness, you can look for a counselor to chat with. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Do you know the story of hedgehogs keeping warm? In winter, two hedgehogs were very warm, and there were no other ways to keep warm around them. So they thought of getting close to each other. However, when they got really close, the spines on their bodies caused pain to each other, so they had to move away. This is the dilemma that exists in the interpersonal relationships of some people. The occurrence of this situation is related to our long-term relationship patterns with others, especially significant others. For example, if we have a very intrusive mother who controls intimate expressions, we will be very afraid of intimate relationships. But I don't know why you feel this way, perhaps we will gradually find the answer in the counseling session.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello. Based on your description, there may actually be many reasons, but the most crucial aspect is how you felt at that time and what thoughts you had. It is because of these thoughts that you took further action. Here, let's analyze two possible reasons. 1. When others are good to you, it can bring a lot of pressure, and this pressure can lead to you being torn between \"others are so good to me, am I good to them? How can I be better to them?\" This pressure, along with the potential thoughts of wanting to reciprocate the same or better, is what prevents you from feeling too much pressure and maintains a sense of fairness and reciprocity, similar to a \"fair trade\" feeling. It is because of this feeling that you may feel the pressure, dislike it, and unintentionally reject the goodwill from others. 2. When people become close to you, there may be ulterior motives, causing you to develop a sense of self-protection and push away the kindness of others. Thoughts such as \"Why is this person so good to me? Do they have any demands or hidden agendas?\" create an atmosphere of uncertainty and self-doubt, making you feel unsafe. In order to protect yourself, you subconsciously push away the kindness of others, as there is no such thing as unconditional kindness. As mentioned at the beginning, the most important thing is to reflect on what thoughts and self-awareness you had when others became close to you. Only by calmly observing your situation at that time can you understand why you pushed away the kindness of others. This will prevent you from feeling regret or experiencing other negative emotions. Remember, as long as the choices you made at that time were the best in your opinion, there will be no regrets. Being a individual: managing oneself, taking responsibility for gains and losses, keeping things simple and straightforward, without complex relationships, controls, or conflicts, and avoiding the pain of separation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear friend! Your description is simple but contains a lot of information! Allow me to analyze it in detail and give you a warm hug (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065\uff5e\uff5e You mentioned that you always push away the kindness of others and resist getting close to them. On one hand, as you said, it is because you lack a sense of security and want to maintain a certain distance from others in order to ensure your own safety, which is reasonable! On the other hand, our behaviors and emotions often follow our subconscious rather than our conscious mind. Your tendency to always push away the kindness of others today is likely influenced by a \"voice\" in your subconscious. You can try to be aware of the thoughts or voices that appear in your mind when you push away the kindness of others. Additionally, based on my personal experience, this may be related to your upbringing! It could be an extension or replication of certain negative relationship patterns from your early years in your social sphere. Would you mind sharing some information about your family background? For example, how was the intimacy between you and your parents from childhood to adulthood? How was the marital relationship between your parents? How much \"love language\" (smiles, hugs, praises) did you receive throughout your life? Of course, I respect your privacy and only if you feel comfortable sharing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I noticed that you have a tendency to push away people who are close to you, which is somewhat similar to \"avoidant attachment personality.\" It is a fear of intimate relationships, where you prefer to keep yourself in an uncertain relationship and when the other person expresses a desire to get closer to you, you want to escape. This mindset is related to your upbringing in your original family, as the way you interacted with your family members during your childhood has influenced your cognition. The lack of affection, being easily neglected, feeling inferior, and lacking a sense of security can make you overly cautious with others. Have you ever thought if you are this kind of person? Wanting to escape is a reflection of self-doubt: am I worthy of others' affection? Can I have a stable intimate relationship? Perhaps you have been hurt in past intimate relationships, which is why you do not trust them and do not believe that you can have intimate relationships. I recommend seeking counseling or exploring the underlying reasons based on your specific circumstances. Engaging in some psychological training activities could also help you improve sooner. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6349
       },
       {
        "question": "Why am I afraid of the wind blowing through the car window?",
        "description": "I am very afraid when driving with the car window open and the wind blowing on my face. I don't feel scared no matter how strong the wind is when I walk on the road, but I feel very scared when the wind blows into the car. My heart starts to race, so I have to close the window every time I ride in a car. Why is that?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, escape, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, let me tell you: about my thoughts, I hope it will be helpful to you. Riding in a car itself can give a sense of insecurity, and the blowing wind may increase your feelings of insecurity. Therefore, you may be afraid and have palpitations. Riding in a car is different from walking, with different speeds, different sensations, and different levels of control. Therefore, the sense of insecurity brought by riding in a car is stronger. Coupled with the wind blowing in through the window, it may increase your feelings of insecurity and anxiety, causing you to be afraid and have palpitations. Perhaps you have had a bad experience in the past of riding in a car with the wind blowing, so the fear and palpitations are conditioned reflexes. Maybe you have experienced or heard of such bad experiences of opening the car window and feeling the wind, perhaps when you were younger, you can't remember clearly, or you have heard or seen such things, so as soon as you open the window and feel the wind, you will have a conditioned reflex and a corresponding reaction. Perhaps the wind blowing through the window can cause discomfort in your body, and you are also afraid and have palpitations. Many people will have a runny nose or sneezing when the wind blows, and may have symptoms of rhinitis. So you may also be afraid of the wind blowing, and perhaps you also have early signs of such physical discomfort, but it has not been very obvious yet.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 30,
            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 30,
            "end": 149,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 149,
            "end": 258,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 258,
            "end": 345,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your description, two conditions for fear have been established. The first one is a vehicle, and the second one is wind. Let's talk about the first condition. What kind of vehicle will trigger this reaction? Will it happen if you take a bus? Will you have that feeling if you ride in an open-air vehicle with a back seat? As for the second condition, the fear differs between a light breeze and a stronger wind. If there is another person sitting next to you by the window, how intense is the feeling of fear? To address this, you can use either desensitization therapy or integrate a fixed conditioned reflex. I prefer the latter, which involves associating the feeling of relaxation and happiness with a specific posture, such as pinching the thumb, index finger, middle finger, and ring finger of your right hand together. Feel that relaxed and happy sensation, and hold the pinch for more than three seconds. Remember that feeling and repeat it. Once this relaxed and happy feeling occurs, bring together all four fingers and deepen that sensation. After repeating this process at least five times, the conditioned reflex will be established. Next, when the fear arises during a car journey, utilize this specific action. It will effectively eliminate your sense of fear. You can give it a try.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9597
       },
       {
        "question": "Parents are separated in two different places to help their brother and sister-in-law take care of their grandchildren. What should be done if there are signs of infidelity?",
        "description": "The older brother and sister-in-law have two children. The first child has already started attending kindergarten, and in the beginning, the mother used to go alone to their house to help take care of the child because the father hadn't retired yet. Now that the father has retired and the second child is only two years old, a boy, both parents are taking care of the children at the brother and sister-in-law's house. However, the father has recently suggested taking turns to spend half a month taking care of the children and the other half at home. My mom doesn't really want to do this. A few days ago, while at the seldom-used house with my mom, I noticed extra child pillows, women's socks on the bed, and magazines. My mom also found a piece of fabric for making children's clothes on her bed. Both of us are suspicious. My parents are already 60 years old, and my mother wants companionship in her old age, so she doesn't want to reveal anything. When I was 12 years old, my dad had an affair, so my mom has always been very sad. Their upbringings were very different, with my dad's side being poor and my mom's dad being a director. My mom has feelings of inferiority. I want to protect my mom and help them improve their relationship. Now, the plan is for one person to go and see the children for half a month, which gives my dad an opportunity to have an affair. What should I do to save this family? Can I install cameras? Does anyone have any good suggestions?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, infidelity, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your question, I can feel the distress and turmoil this situation involving your family has caused you. It also reminds me of a female friend whose father had a habit of cheating and her mother, upon discovering it, would often be subjected to domestic violence. When the children grew up, they asked their mother why she didn't divorce him, and she always said it was because they were still young. There were five children in the family, who witnessed their mother being beaten from a young age. As they grew up, the mother would constantly complain to the children about their father, saying he was still cheating. Four out of the five children had conflicts with their father and expressed the desire to cut ties with him. Every time they tried to convince their mother to divorce him, she would say she was afraid of being laughed at because of her age. As a result, although the mother seemed to have accepted the situation, the anger still lingered inside her, and she would call the children to complain, causing them to distance themselves from her. At the same time, the children themselves also became trapped in the pain. Seeing their mother's vulnerability, suggesting that she leave him would fall on deaf ears. However, her daily phone calls complaining about him would cause her unbearable headaches, severely impacting her life. The mother became disconnected from society. At the age of 48, she had no skills, never having worked since getting married, so she had fear of change and didn't know what she could do if she divorced. Furthermore, her husband's infidelity was a shameful matter for her, and she believed that her own weakness and incompetence had led to his cheating. Every time she saw him, it was as if she was seeing her own incompetence, which made her very angry and led to arguments. But she was \"afraid\" to divorce... This example shows that the older generation's aversion to divorce is partly due to the belief that \"divorce\" is a shameful thing, and if it becomes public, it's like proving their own incompetence. On the other hand, as the children grow up and have children who will \"stand up\" for them (a saying indicating that enduring will pay off once the children grow up), the children will naturally \"punish\" the father. This gives them a sense of revenge and balances their emotions. At the same time, as they get older, remarrying involves too many issues, so they are hesitant to divorce, fearing they will have no one to rely on in old age. There is also the fact that they have been detached from reality for too long, with no personal life or interpersonal support outside the family, which fills them with fear of the unknown, etc. [Getting back to the main topic] Based on your description of the current situation in your family, your father has previously cheated and your mother is used to self-denial, and now she suspects your father is cheating again. [Analysis] This suspicion is built on the foundation of previous mistrust in your father, and it is normal to have this mindset when trust has been broken in a relationship. However, humans are also peculiar creatures. There is a psychological phenomenon called \"self-fulfilling prophecy,\" which means that how you perceive something will subconsciously push it towards that direction. For example, after the mother experienced her husband's adultery, she believes that he is someone who enjoys cheating. So although she seems to have forgiven him, seeing him still causes her distress and pain, and she suspects he will cheat again. As a result, she becomes angry and doesn't give him a warm reception when she sees him. Humans need emotional support, and when they don't receive it from their spouse and children, they often seek it outside the family. (I personally don't like this explanation, as it makes it seem like infidelity is someone else's fault. But for the older generation who haven't studied psychology, they are more easily controlled by emotions and primal instincts, which is indeed a fact.) [What can you do?] Your current concern is how to solve the problem without damaging the emotional foundation. First of all, try to ascertain the facts and not blow the problem out of proportion. Don't go around telling everyone in the family about it, as this will cause more harm. On the factual level, you can directly ask about the suspicions of infidelity, but this will only startle the snake in the grass, even if there is something going on, he won't admit it, and it will damage the relationship. As for whether to install surveillance cameras, as long as it doesn't violate any legal issues, it may be worth considering. However, it is important to understand that installing cameras is just to make yourself clear about the situation. Regardless of the outcome, you can tell your mother that your father didn't cheat (since it's her desire), and you don't need to let them know about the cameras. Next: if you find out he didn't cheat, you can put it to rest for now. If you find out he did cheat, you can talk to him about the previous incident of cheating and the harm it caused to the family, and express that you are willing to forgive his previous behavior, but if it happens again, you will choose to stand with your mother, and the family will not forgive him again. (Since he is worried about retirement issues, expressing it in this way can also be a deterrent.) Lastly, encourage your mother to go out more in the evenings, join in some square dancing, and open up her body, as an open body leads to an open mind, gradually avoiding negative thinking. Organize more family gatherings and outings to distract and experience the beauty of life. Every family has their own difficult experiences, so imagine if this happened in my own family, I would probably handle it more decisively, and I think my mother's personality would also have less tolerance. So, with different family situations, think more about your own approach, as you are the one who knows the family situation best. Home is a place where love is cherished, so cherish it. If love can solve the problem, try not to resort to dark methods. I hope this is helpful to you and good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"It is crucial that Mom keeps it a secret. She wants to maintain the current relationship, and as a woman, I sympathize with her. Maybe for herself, but mostly for the children, she chooses to bear everything alone. Personal suggestions: 1. Understand the root of their relationship issues and see if it is possible to resolve the infidelity problem (without divorce). It could be a mismatch in lifestyle or too much negative emotion from Dad, so finding a \"soulmate\" and entering the heart might be helpful. An affair is rarely intended to betray, but rather to be with someone they enjoy doing happy things with, usually due to problems in the intimate relationship. 2. Listen to your brother's opinion. 3. The significant difference in both of their personal status might lead to an unequal pattern in their relationship. 4. Mom has been hurt before, and you are her strong support. She doesn't want to bring up old wounds. You can indirectly care about her life, provide emotional support, be concerned about her physical health, and let her know that her efforts are worthwhile. 5. \"I am already of such an age, so I should...\" is a phrase often spoken by the older generation, as they feel time slipping away and want to pursue special meaning or a sense of value. 6. If objective conditions allow, have your brother's children stay at your parents' home. 7. Find an opportunity to talk to Dad one-on-one, in a quiet environment, when he is in a good mood. Communicate without emotions, gradually entering the subject without blame. As a father, he will come up with countless excuses to avoid being accused by the children. It is still speculative that Dad is having an affair; the above is just analysis. Give yourself a psychological suggestion: \"Sometimes what we see and hear might not be true.\" Remember: Do not install cameras and do not cause further harm! This would harm not only one person but an entire family, maybe several families. Don't act impulsively, don't be curious, and don't seek the truth. In this matter, the main characters are only Mom and Dad, and you are just a supporting role, but you can play a certain role. Do not hold onto others' mistakes, but think about ways to solve the problem. If you decide not to separate, tell Mom that Dad is her only \"VIP\" and that the way they interact needs to change.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the landlord suspects that their father is having an affair and their mother also suspects it, but their mother doesn't want to get a divorce. The landlord doesn't know what to do. I understand the landlord's feelings very well. As children, we definitely do not want our parents to get a divorce. We love them both very much, but the father's actions are hurting the mother and also hurting the landlord. Suggestions: 1. This is a matter between the parents, whether to get a divorce or how to handle it should be up to the parents themselves. As children, we should also respect their marriage. 2. The landlord should first ask their mother for her opinion, what she wants to do, and if she needs the landlord's help. How to choose to handle it is up to the mother to decide, as she has her own methods and reasons. Just spend more time with the mother. 3. The landlord is just suspicious, and this is an uncertain matter. They can privately talk to the father and approach it strategically. They can ask something like: \"Why are there so many extra pillows on the bed? And women's stockings? Dad, you're getting older. I hope you haven't lost your morals. Mom told me she goes to see the kids alone every other month, and she's really worried about you. She wants to be with you to go see the kids and come back home together. We don't have many years left, so she hopes to spend more time with you. She really loves you!\" 4. Approach the topic casually during a conversation. 5. I don't recommend directly confronting or setting up cameras. Regardless of whether there is evidence or not, at least your mother doesn't want to know the truth. Therefore, the landlord should take a more indirect approach. 6. Observe the father in secret and subtly hint to him when they are alone. They can give an example of how they would feel and handle it if their parents were in a similar situation. Let him understand the landlord's thoughts. 7. Subtly shake him up, but not to the point of exposing everything, as the mother doesn't want that. The past trauma has hurt the mother, and given that she comes from a well-off family, the father must love her very much. However, the differences or feelings between them are only known to them. The father's affair is not right, but at least the mother has tolerated it. There are reasons of their own. 8. The mother has self-esteem issues, and it's not about external conditions, but it's related to her own feelings and her early life experiences. It's her own issue. 9. It's natural to feel resentment, but if the mother doesn't want to separate, we should try our best to keep them together and find a solution that doesn't damage their dignity. This is the biggest principle in handling this matter. 10. It is strongly recommended that they go see the children together and not be separated. They can discuss with their brother whether they can consider finding another way, so that their parents don't have to part ways, and to avoid the possibility that the reality of separation might help the affair.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the main issue you're facing is indeed difficult to handle. On one hand, your father has a history of infidelity and there are signs of it happening again. On the other hand, your mother is unwilling to break up the family. Your concern is for your mother and you don't want her to be mistreated or hurt, so you want to save your parents' relationship. However, you are also worried about how to handle the situation if your father's infidelity is confirmed, and feel caught in a dilemma.\n\nFirstly, I believe it is necessary to find out the truth. Unfounded speculation about loved ones, as well as deliberate concealment, often end up causing harm. Perhaps you need to have a deep conversation with your father. Trust that someone of his age can make an appropriate choice, whether he can give a reasonable explanation or confirm your suspicions. At least you will know the truth and his true thoughts.\n\nSecondly, take care of your mother's well-being. In this unclear situation, your mother is likely to be in pain. If your suspicions are wrong, that would be the best outcome and your mother can relieve her worries. If your father is indeed having an affair, your mother also needs to know the truth in order to make her own choices.\n\nLastly, you need to bridge the gap between your parents. Communication is the most effective and least damaging way to solve problems. From your description, it is clear that there are some issues between your parents. Only by addressing these problems can you uncover the underlying issues and find ways to deal with them.\n\nUltimately, trust your parents. They have been living together for a lifetime and know what each other needs. Regardless of the decisions they make, trust that they have carefully considered them and believe that they will make the right choices.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 772
       },
       {
        "question": "Did I ruin my life after failing the postgraduate entrance exam?",
        "description": "I failed the postgraduate entrance examination this year, and my attempt to transfer failed due to low scores. I feel like I have lost all hope in life and have no direction. I want to give it another try, but I don't have the courage. I spend every day in a daze at home, not knowing what to do. My family wants me to work, but I have lost all confidence and feel like a total failure.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed mood.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! The failure in the postgraduate entrance examination has greatly affected your spirits, and you feel disheartened. The teacher understands your current feelings! Think carefully, why do you feel disheartened? Is it because you consider the failure in the postgraduate entrance examination as your entire self? Can it really be like that? The postgraduate entrance examination is just a part of your life experience. Just like the college entrance examination, one failure only represents that specific instance, not your entire life. Both work and postgraduate studies are your goals. Take a careful inventory and consider whether you currently want to pursue postgraduate studies or work more. Choose what you truly want, what you most want to do, and what is most likely to lead to success. By doing so, you will find the real you and live as your authentic self.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22092
       },
       {
        "question": "A 15-year-old girl, why does she always feel unworthy of living?",
        "description": "All my previous boyfriends were with me for money, so now I feel like I want to become a strong independent woman, but I can't do anything well.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, guilt, shame",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Fifteen years old is still young and too immature. At this age, you should be enjoying yourself in the campus, not worrying about a boy. It's great to want to become a strong woman, but success doesn't come overnight. Everything takes time, and the more impatient you are, the more likely you are to fail. It's okay if things don't go as planned, the key is to learn from the process to prevent making the same mistakes again. It doesn't matter whether you do something well or not, what matters is whether you did your best. Don't let unrelated people influence your original intentions. You can only break free from constraints by boldly letting go of the outcome. Live freely according to your true and beautiful thoughts, instead of letting others dictate your self-doubt.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22183
       },
       {
        "question": "More and more emotional numbness, a heart as calm as still water, is it good or bad?",
        "description": "I feel that I am becoming more and more emotionless lately. Every day feels like a calm sea, as if there is nothing that can make me happy or sad. Is it good or bad to be neither happy nor sad like this?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, how are you? After reading your description, I can sense your confusion and a slight sigh of helplessness. Hugs to you~ Actually, when you asked this question, it shows that you do not think the current state of \"a calm heart\" is good. It feels more like a helplessness towards the fact that reality can no longer bring you a vibrant and passionate life. There is a sense of being forced to have a \"calm heart\" or a \"dead heart\". I don't know if I am right or not? Some people consider \"neither sad nor happy\" as a high state and deliberately pursue this feeling. In reality, we can only achieve a state of \"neither sad nor happy\" when our inner self remains peaceful and stable regardless of what happens externally. Our hearts will be at ease and filled with a faint joy. There is no right or wrong for each state of mind. If your current state, fully accepting it, allows you to feel peace and tranquility, then it is good. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is not good. Wishing you a pleasant life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 624
       },
       {
        "question": "How much does mental counseling and therapy generally cost? I need to earn money to treat my illness.",
        "description": "1\\How much does psychological counseling and therapy usually cost? I need to earn money to afford treatment.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I sense your urgent need for psychological healing. Here, I will do my best to share the information I know with you. Psychological counseling and therapy are actually different concepts. Psychological counseling deals with general or severe psychological problems, personality disorders, various neuroses, and so on. On the other hand, psychological therapy may involve more in the realm of mental disorders and require intervention from the field of medical knowledge, possibly in conjunction with medication. These two different concepts will have different fee systems. If it falls within the category of psychological counseling, the fees can vary, ranging from free consultations to over a thousand per session (0-1000+). The pricing criteria depend on the counselor's training background, personal experience, and case history. However, if you are facing financial difficulties, with a sincere effort, you may discover that various psychological platforms and organizations often offer free counseling or group-buying activities. Although some may be one-time analysis and answers, they might still be helpful to you, so it's worth a try. Furthermore, if the issues requiring counseling are more complex, it is recommended to find a reliable counselor. Although they may charge a few hundred dollars per session, they may professionally solve your problems in a small number of sessions. If the issue involves mental disorders and requires psychological therapy, you can go to a hospital's psychiatric department or specialized mental health institution. Make an appointment through registration for consultation. The fees charged will also have a relatively transparent standard; you can refer to the hospital's consultation prices when selecting doctors of different qualifications. In short, the specific costs depend on assessing your situation and severity.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12578
       },
       {
        "question": "We have been together for a year and have been cheated on by a third party. What should we do?",
        "description": "We have been together for a year, and prior to that, I made sure that he was not married or in a relationship. Recently, he suddenly became distant and told me to leave him. Initially, I thought it was because of my own shortcomings and that he was cheating on me. But later, I discovered that he had actually been married before he met me, and they are now planning their wedding banquet. Knowing this, I felt devastated. What should I do? His wife is also innocent. Should I tell her?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, divorce, infidelity.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the title holder! After dating for over a year, it was discovered that the partner is already married. The pain of breaking up is mixed with the feeling of being deceived and the anger of betrayal. I really want to retaliate against him, to let his wife see his true nature, for her to leave him or to create chaos. It seems like only then can I find psychological balance. On further examination, perhaps this reveals a hint of a destructive mindset that might ruin my own chances? Is that so? Obviously, this \"ex-boyfriend\" used deceitful behavior to gain your emotional and physical investment, which is enough to show that his character is flawed. Every relationship begins with looks and stays loyal to character. With someone who has such questionable character, even if it wasn't an issue today and even if you were to marry, there would still be great harm waiting for you. So, from this perspective, breaking up is a good thing for you. Of course, feeling deceived and aggrieved, angry, jealous, and regretful are all very normal reactions. It takes time to gradually resolve these feelings. Firstly, if you want to find relief by telling his wife, make sure you are not acting under emotional control. Don't do it impulsively, as it may actually affect your own physical and mental well-being. Secondly, every relationship is a mirror and every experience is meant to teach us something, to increase our wisdom and help us grow. Sometimes, we are willing to bless those who have hurt us, and be grateful for the growth and understanding they have brought us. These realizations will be precious assets in your life. There is a story about blessings, roughly meaning: A and B were friends, but A owed B a large sum of money and ran away, which was a significant amount for B. B had every reason to be angry and curse A, but he chose to bless him, wishing him success and prosperity. One day, A did indeed become successful again and found B to return the money. So, after venting your emotions, ask yourself, what have you learned in this over a year? Have you gained any understanding of the purpose the \"universe\" wants to teach you?!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14381
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it normal for a 16-year-old girl to frequently talk to herself when she is alone?",
        "description": "16-year-old girl considers herself to be more introverted, appearing average among people, but outgoing among friends. She comes from a harmonious and intact family, and has not experienced any significant setbacks or psychological deficiencies in elementary and middle school. Her personality started to form in junior high school, and she began to have her own opinions and thoughts about things. During her alone time, she particularly enjoys talking to herself. Recently, she realized that she does it quite frequently. Talking to herself feels relaxed and pleasant, such as summarizing the day, reviewing study materials, or explaining things to herself while cooking noodles, for example. Friends and family think she is quite mature for her age, and she also believes so. As for the reasons why she does it, she thinks that speaking things out loud is more direct. Additionally, influenced by various vlogs and commentaries around fifth or sixth grade, she started talking to herself. After recently discovering this, she searched for some Q&A and used to think that it was just her way of being alone, perhaps similar to some other people. But it seems like that might not be the case, so does this form of solitude need to be changed? Is it normal? Are there others who are as \"middle school-esque\" as her? (doge)",
        "keywords": "Growth, improved personality, character traits, self-development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Haha, what a coincidence! I'm also someone who is more introverted and tends to talk to myself. However, often times my self-talk is self-criticism. When I don't do something well, I would mutter to myself in a low voice, \"Oh my, why did I do it like this? Can't you do better?\" But there are also other situations, like when I draw a picture that I like, I would happily talk to myself, \"Wow, I actually drew so well. I'm amazing.\" Hahaha. From the description of your question, I feel that you don't have a strong aversion to this trait of self-talk. Instead, you seem to derive a sense of contentment and enjoyment from it. I think that's great. This is a way for you to enjoy being alone and it doesn't have any impact on others. Therefore, you can openly allow yourself to have this way of being alone. And I find it quite cute. As long as it makes you feel comfortable and happy, whatever form it takes, no matter how unique or different it may be, we can allow its existence. This is a way of interacting with yourself that you have developed, it is not something forced upon you by the outside world or something others are pushing you to do. Therefore, you can fully accept and appreciate it. Because not everyone has such a method, and the fact that you can derive pleasure from it shows that it suits you. So, just embrace and appreciate it, and be proud of this unique trait of yours.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner, your question is very interesting. As I was reading it, I couldn't help but laugh. How can there be such an adorable child like you? Therefore, I would love to discuss it with you. First of all, you are a child with self-awareness and have a clear understanding of yourself. This is rare and also comes with some demanding aspects. For example, you consider yourself somewhat introverted, someone who appears average in a crowd but is very outgoing among friends. Do you know? This is a very rare quality and ability to have. In China, there is a saying, \"A noble person is slow in speech but prompt in action\" and \"Exuding dignity, yet warm when approached.\" Truly cultured people are not usually flashy in a crowd. When I am with my friends, we engage in lively discussions, passionately exchanging words and opinions, guiding the world. However, in our daily lives, we are calm, introverted, and have a clear understanding. That is why we can achieve great things. Secondly, your family is complete and harmonious, and there haven't been any setbacks or psychological deficiencies in your nine years of primary and middle school. Your personality started to form in junior high, and you began developing your own thoughts and opinions. When you are alone, you particularly enjoy talking to yourself. Recently, you discovered that you have been talking to yourself quite frequently. This process of talking to yourself is relaxing and enjoyable, such as summarizing the day, reviewing study materials, or even commenting while cooking noodles. Your friends and family find you quite mature for your age, and you also feel that way about yourself. Look, this kind of self-talk is actually a reasonable emotional release. So why worry about it? Thirdly, you analyzed the reasons for your self-talk. You think that speaking out things directly is easier, and also, around the fifth or sixth grade, you were influenced by vlogs and various narrations, which made you start talking to yourself. You have already figured out the reasons, and throughout the whole process, you haven't had any painful emotional reactions. So why do you call yourself \"weird\"? Why force yourself to change? Enjoy life and the joy that talking to yourself brings you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Abstract thinking in humans requires language as a medium, meaning that whenever a person is thinking, their mind will engage in self-talk. Some individuals speak aloud, while others simply think in their minds. As long as you are not shouting and disturbing others, I don't see any problem. Additionally, you may not be well-suited for confidential work... like being a spy or something.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17126
       },
       {
        "question": "My emotions fluctuate greatly. I was feeling fine just a moment ago, but suddenly I started feeling very depressed.",
        "description": "Nothing happened, but the mood suddenly became low, feeling annoyed, and would wonder why I am alive.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I don't know if you are currently in your adolescence. One of the main characteristics of adolescence is unstable emotions, so it is normal to feel down. I believe that all worries have reasons, big or small, but maybe you are not aware of them or don't know what is influencing you subconsciously. That's why you have been feeling unhappy. When we have daily troubles and unclear life goals, we start questioning why we are alive. In reality, the concept of why we are alive is something we give ourselves. Each person has their own definition of what it means to live or their own goals. Only you know where your meaning lies. If you are unsure, you can start by thinking about what kind of person you want to become in the future or what kind of work you would like to do. Gradually, you will find your own goals. And these goals will become the driving force in your life, so you won't feel that life is meaningless. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5411
       },
       {
        "question": "How do you deal with someone you don't like when you don't want to show your emotions?",
        "description": "While studying, for some unknown reason, I particularly disliked a person who always seemed to be in front of me. In the past, I didn't know how to handle it, so I would directly show a bad attitude. Looking back now, I realize that I didn't know how to control my emotions. Adults should not easily reveal their emotions. So, what should one do if they encounter someone they don't like now?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can see your worries. For this issue, I don't have an immediate solution that you can use and will be effective, because emotions are a very individual and personal experience. However, this problem reminds me of another issue: \"What should you do when someone treats you to a meal and serves a dish you don't like?\" I suppose the coping method would be to suggest changing the dish or simply not eating it, depending on how familiar you are with the person treating you. When it comes to encountering someone you don't like, who keeps appearing in front of you from time to time, it can indeed make you uncomfortable, and there's no way to avoid it. In that case, maybe you can take inspiration from the second approach I mentioned earlier - if you can't change the situation, just \"turn a blind eye\" to it. Although it may seem a bit \"negative,\" at least it can help improve your mood.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 117,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 117,
            "end": 164,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 164,
            "end": 268,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4499
       },
       {
        "question": "How to learn to let go and not always dwell on the past, but live in the present?",
        "description": "Always regretting and lingering on past events, how can one learn to live in the present without regretting the past? How can one broaden their perspective and have a long-term vision, not always clinging to the past and the present moment, but instead becoming a magnanimous person?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, self-improvement, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! Thank you for the invitation~1. Many people have a dream of \"time travel\", hoping to have a chance to \"start over\" in their own lives. People often regret and entangle themselves with things in the past, always thinking that if they had another chance, they would do better than before and the outcome would be different. As a result, they can't help but feel regret and self-blame. However, what we don't know is that any choice you made in the past was the best choice you could make based on your limited resources at that time, such as your level of knowledge, maturity, abilities, and state of mind. In that state, you did your best. Even if you could go back in time and start over, you would still make imperfect choices with the same limited resources. The reason you regret the past today is because the present you, in all aspects, is more mature and capable than the past you. 2. Holding onto the past and what is happening right now is because you haven't learned how to forgive and let go. I guess maybe when you were a child, you were also held onto by adults because of a minor mistake. It is because we haven't experienced forgiveness and tolerance that we cannot forgive and let go of ourselves and others. It's just that we often don't realize our own behavior and even can't trust ourselves, and all of this comes from the push of our subconscious. If you want to know how to change, you first need to know why, where the root of these behaviors lies. 3. Being entangled in and trapped by the past not only blocks the door to future happiness but also deprives you of the right to enjoy every moment of the present. The past is already gone, it has long disappeared in the river of time, and it no longer exists objectively. However, the unpleasantness of the past still lingers in our hearts, becoming an obstacle, a burden. Therefore, the first thing we need to do is to understand why we are like this, so that we can take targeted actions; secondly, based on what we know, we can heal. Perhaps it is necessary for you to go back to scenes from your childhood that you cannot forget, and heal that child, releasing the suppressed emotions such as grievances, sadness, anger, etc. Only when the emotions are processed can rationality return, forgiveness and tolerance can be discussed, and we can move forward better. If emotions are unresolved, rationality cannot emerge, let alone talk about change. If conditions permit, you can seek help from suitable professionals for psychological counseling. 4. A broad perspective and a generous attitude are developed through continuous growth, much like leveling up and fighting monsters, and facing pain is inevitable. If you want to help yourself, you can search for some self-help books on psychology. Books by Wu Zhihong, Cong Feicong, Yu Mengcheng, and other teachers are very good and may be helpful to you. You can also participate in some online or offline workshops to help yourself heal. Finally, I'm sending you an article related to your question, hope it can be helpful to you. Wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the author mentioned regretting past events and it reminded me of a psychological effect called the Zeigarnik effect. It is a memory effect that suggests that people remember unfinished tasks better than completed tasks. It is also known as the Zeigarnik effect or the \"itch to finish.\" This effect suggests that people have a natural drive to complete tasks, and they tend to forget about completed tasks because the motivation to complete them has been satisfied. If a task is still unfinished, the same motivation will leave a deeper impression. If you find it difficult to let go and move on, it may be due to an \"unfinished business\" or an \"unresolved issue\" in psychology, which refers to the tendency to seek compensation for not completing something. You may have thoughts like \"if only that thing hadn't happened\" and other related thoughts such as \"if only I had done this or that,\" believing that it would have prevented the situation from occurring. In order to explore whether you have an unresolved issue, it is necessary to examine your own feelings. Sometimes, when reality does not meet our expectations, we cannot accept what is happening and wish things had gone according to our plans. The first step is to acknowledge your emotions and address them in a rational manner. For instance, if a situation makes you feel anxious or fearful about not being able to complete it, try to soothe your own emotions. Secondly, try not to resist reality. What has happened has already happened, and accepting that you cannot change the past is crucial. Finally, ask yourself what you really want and what actions you can take to achieve it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We always talk about living in the present moment. But in reality, most of us (including myself) either live in regrets and remorse over past experiences (depression), or in anxiety about unfulfilled events in the future (anxiety). This is probably a common issue for modern people. Each person has their own worries to a greater or lesser extent. And we are all continuous beings, which includes the past, present, and future. The experiences in the past shape who we are today, and within those experiences, there are many of our own emotional attachments. So, as you mentioned, letting go of the past and living in the present is a higher state of being. But how can we let go of the past? It's not as simple as just deciding to let go. The decision to let go is at the rational level, but the attachment is at the emotional level. When rationality and emotions clash, rationality often loses. [Two methods to achieve letting go] 1. Many Buddhist and Taoist practices focus on mindfulness, meditation, and other techniques to directly cultivate living in the present moment. (Don't laugh, I am serious.) It might take around 2 years of practice to see some progress. (Maybe even less time.) However, for modern people, with their restless thoughts, it's difficult to continue practicing. After just 5 minutes, their mind becomes restless and uneasy. But by persisting for a longer period, it benefits both physical and mental health with the goal of overcoming worries. The advantage is that you can do it yourself and it requires little cost. 2. For modern people, with such a fast pace of living, some might not be able to accept this method. In that case, there is another option which is psychological counseling, but it involves paying someone else. Psychological counseling is about addressing the issues of time and space. When we talk about letting go, truly letting go means reconnecting with the past on a deeper level, so we can pick it up before letting it go again. Therefore, the first step to letting go is actually picking it up. Otherwise, telling ourselves to let go at the rational level has little effect. I am using both of the above methods. They each have their own benefits. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is a common psychological problem for us to often indulge in reminiscing about the past and regretting our past decisions. If we constantly dwell on past memories, it will hinder our progress and affect our everyday life and work. We need to look forward in order to not be stuck in the past and prevent ourselves from feeling depressed. I have also experienced being trapped in a whirlpool of regret due to certain decisions I made in the past. I suffered from insomnia for a whole year. However, I managed to overcome this by persisting with three small methods, and now I have become much more cheerful. First, I tell myself that the past has become history. If I keep replaying the scenes from the past, I will only become more emotional and turn into an emotional scavenger, constantly getting stuck and unable to free myself. Then, I engage in more social activities. If I have hobbies and interests, I find like-minded friends to discuss them with. This helps me open up and focus my attention on things I am interested in, so that I do not obsess over other issues. Finally, I engage in physical exercise and fitness activities, and read books that I had always wanted to read but never got the chance to. I strive to be a disciplined person. The most direct way to overcome negative emotions is through physical fitness, as it not only exercises our bodies but also uplifts our spirits. Reading is the simplest way to broaden our horizons.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Shakespeare said, \"All that is past is prologue.\" Proust also wrote, \"The life in memories is more real than the life happening at the present time and place.\" Humans are amphibious creatures, sinking both into the past and the present, living in the territories of now and then, carrying conscious and unconscious experiences with them. Before we become aware, we compulsively repeat the past, even living entirely in it. The past cannot be changed, and the feelings associated with it cannot be eliminated. To learn how to let go, perhaps we first need to know why we picked them up in the first place, sometimes with the help of others, we can safely remove the burdensome stones from our hearts. There is a popular saying on the internet: in the adult world, there is a lot of \"let it go.\" However, whether it is openness or resignation, only oneself knows the warmth and coldness. It is impossible for a person to not think about the past, as it is what determines their future. The past is like ultraviolet light, revealing the hidden destiny text in the book of life that is not easily visible. It is a prophecy that provides footnotes for the entire book of life. Finding release does not necessarily mean abandoning something; it may also mean finally moving forward with them after sorting them out and lightening the load.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I always regret and dwell on past events. This is a normal human psychology because what we do cannot be perfect. We are human, not gods, so it is natural to dwell on regrets. However, it should be done in moderation. We should learn from past experiences and become more mature in dealing with things in the future, striving to minimize regrets as much as possible. How to live in the present when the pandemic is not over yet, especially now that humanity is experiencing the 11th round of Ebola virus? Some people say that in 2020 and every year thereafter, the greatest wish is to live well. As long as we are alive, there is hope and a future. Instead of clinging to the past, we should focus on living our present lives well. Set reasonable goals for ourselves, read books, do things we are interested in, and feel the effort and joy of living in the present moment. If we are in a satisfied state, we won't cling to the past. To become a magnanimous person, we need to be fearless of the future, not dwell on the past, and live in the present. I believe you can do it! Keep it up. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We are all first-time participants in life, and each person is exploring how to live a good life. Therefore, don't be too hard on yourself for past choices. Galway suggests forgetting the self at the mental level and instead using the self of the body and subconscious to relax and focus on doing something, so that one can live in the present. It is best if we have neither positive nor negative expectations of ourselves, neither praise nor criticism; the mind is only used to analyze and understand things, not to judge right from wrong. Therefore, let go of the judgment of yourself and the past, there is no right or wrong. May you find peace of mind. Heal yourself through psychology.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in response to your question, because I am not clear about the specific things you regret and dwell on in the past, my answer may not be comprehensive. Regarding the part where you mentioned living in the present, my response will only address a certain perspective or aspect of living in the present. I hope this limited content can be helpful to you. Constantly regretting and dwelling on past events, even though you rationalize and try to let go, you still feel attached to them emotionally. The reason why you can't let go is not because of how poorly you did at that time. It's because you are dissatisfied with the way things happened. Living in the present is difficult because in each present moment, we have many thoughts and motivations. But no matter which thought or motivation we attend to, there will always be an unresolved part that lingers within us. Living in the present is easy because in each present moment, we just need to be able to see that the choice we made, out of all our thoughts and motivations, is the best choice for ourselves at that moment. Perhaps in the future, when faced with the same situation, we may have a different choice, or maybe our thoughts and choices will change in the next moment. But at that specific moment, the choice we made was the one that our past self accepted. Often, the reason we can't let go is because our present self doesn't accept our self or the course of events at that moment in the past. The key is that our present self is not the same as our past self. Our past self deserves respect and that's what our present self needs to recognize.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Always regretting and entangling with past events, let the past be in the past, dust to dust, let them disappear in the dust of history. Some people like to collect pearls, some people like to collect farts. What is a pearl? Good and happy things are pearls. What is a fart? Regretful, painful things are farts. So, do you want to collect pearls or farts? How can we learn to live in the present, not regret the past, and have a broader perspective, a longer-term vision, not always clinging to the past and the present, and become a magnanimous person? Live each moment, each minute well in the present. People either do things or think things. If you think too much, you'll think of bad things, then comes the suffering, depression, entanglement, and these things happen. How can we stop all of this? Start with doing things. As you do things, you stop thinking. Doing is the most powerful force. As you do more things, experience more, your life experience becomes richer. A person with rich life experiences naturally has a larger perspective. This way, you can become a magnanimous person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear OP: Hello! I believe that regretting the past is always \"dissatisfaction with the present and anxiety about the future.\" Your inner subconscious actually hopes for a better future. So first, you need to ask yourself: What am I dissatisfied with now, is it relationships or career? What does my ideal life look like? If you can think about it carefully, I believe you can take the first step. This is also a very important step, which I call substitution: the past is gone, and all we can do is replace it with the future. As the saying goes: \"If a person has no long-term plan, they will have immediate worries!\" Proper anxiety is actually the driving force that promotes progress. But it must not be excessive. Once excessive anxiety leads to fear, even depression, it will affect mental and physical health. On the path of longing for the future and realizing dreams, we will definitely encounter many difficulties, which may also bring psychological troubles. But I want to tell you, \"Life is wonderful because of its uncertainty.\" Embrace dreams and hope, long for a better future, and strive forward. That is the essence of life! Given the limited information you have provided, this is all I can say for now. Sincerely hope it can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21203
       },
       {
        "question": "What psychological condition is it when someone lacks seriousness in their personality and has been assimilated?",
        "description": "No matter what I do, I have a carefree mindset, very \"Buddhist-like.\" I don't know when I became like this... Looking back, I used to feel very serious, taking everything seriously. But progress was slow and inefficient that way, and most importantly, when everyone around me was being casual, I got assimilated. What kind of mentality is this... I want to change, but I don't know where to start. Please guide me...",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to the OP. In social psychology, there is a term called \"conformity,\" which means that when the people around us are engaged in a common pattern of behavior, we may be assimilated into the group under the pressure of invisible psychological factors. The OP may be influenced by this psychological factor. In addition, past negative experiences, such as feeling frustrated when working hard but not making ideal progress, can also contribute to the current distress. These multiple factors may be causing the current predicament for the OP. Actually, when the OP becomes aware of their current state and has a vague feeling about the underlying reasons, it already becomes an opportunity and trend towards positive change. The OP can relax a little. Regarding the situation of feeling inefficient when working seriously, the OP can try different methods and communicate with classmates and friends to learn from their suggestions. This might provide some inspiration for finding an efficient way that suits the OP. I hope my answer can help you. Keep going!\n",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4545
       },
       {
        "question": "Did my best friend distance herself? Started to wonder if we have changed or if our hearts have grown apart.",
        "description": "The classmates I grew up with, the friends I fought together with as we grew up, we experienced so much laughter and joy together. You used to understand my joys and sorrows so well, I thought we would be good friends for life. But halfway through this journey of life, one by one, you all drifted away. I don't know if it's because I was too naive and persistent, or if our values have changed. Distance has made us strangers, to the point where our contact information sits in each other's phones, yet this number will never ring again. Only in dreams do I see us as we once were. Should I awaken to the realization that this is the norm in life, or lament that friendships and love have expired and turned sour? Perhaps my world is no longer a place for you to linger and wait.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! I can see that you're feeling distressed because your friends are growing apart from you. I sympathize with your situation. Based on your description of your \"close friend becoming distant and friends not keeping in touch,\" it seems like you're confused and unsure about this change. Personally, I believe that both emotions and material things tend to change over time. Whether it's friendship or any other kind of relationship, they usually evolve based on our own needs. Thus, these changes are \"relative\" rather than complete. If you feel that you still have the time and experience to maintain your friendship, then you can take action now to preserve it. I understand your regret about growing apart from your friends, but one of the first things we learn in life is how to face goodbyes. We can cherish our precious memories, carefully store them, and carry them forward into the future. These beautiful experiences can empower us to face future challenges.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4039
       },
       {
        "question": "If someone has dreams every day, what should they do?",
        "description": "If someone dreams every day, what should be done?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling, behavioral abnormalities",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the Jungian psychology understands dreams as a compensation of unconscious deviations from consciousness. Dreams have both compensatory and predictive effects. In most cases, if a person frequently dreams, it means that they may have significant psychological conflicts internally that cannot be expressed at the conscious level or realized in reality. They are compensated for through dreams at the unconscious level. On the other hand, dreams are also a healing process, repairing inner repression and conflicts. Through dreaming, healing occurs. Dreams are alive and the language of the unconscious. If you feel that there are a large number of dreams occurring during a certain period of time, it is worth noticing if there are any untransformed repression and conflicts within. You can seek a psychoanalyst to analyze your dreams. The scenes, characters, and symbols in dreams all represent the manifestation of your inner world and certain aspects or traits of your personality. Through dream analysis, you can understand the unconscious symbols, respect the unconscious itself, and achieve a balanced and developed relationship between consciousness and unconsciousness. Additionally, if there are always rich dreams, it also indicates that you have a very rich inner world and significant inner energy. Dreams are vivid, lively, and can bring creativity. Therefore, people who dream a lot have great creative potential. Dreams also have a predictive effect. Through dream analysis, dreams can be more than just imagination; they can be realized and dreams can come true.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP: I don't know what dreams are troubling you so much. Some people worry every day that they won't dream, while you worry about dreaming too much. Why do people dream? Research shows that about 1/3 of a person's life is spent in sleep, with 1/5 of that time spent dreaming. The saying \"daytime thoughts lead to nighttime dreams\" holds some truth. Dreams are ultimately brain activities. When the body is awake, it instinctively reacts to external stimuli. However, during sleep, not all organs are in a state of rest. Your brain does not stop functioning and continues to operate as it does during the day. Only the body's muscles are at rest, and experiences from the day are likely to appear in dreams. In general, some people dream at night due to stimuli they experienced during the day, while others dream because of excessive workload. This is the brain's way of regulating one's mental state and protecting the subconscious. It helps alleviate pressure and may act as a projection of one's inner thoughts, reminding them to complete certain tasks. Some great scientific discoveries were inspired by dreams. In 1825, British scientist Faraday discovered benzene, which is one of the main pillars of organic chemistry. One winter day in 1864, German scientist Kekul\u00e9 dozed off in front of a fireplace. Atoms and molecules began to dance in his hallucination, with a carbon atom chain biting its own tail, spinning before his eyes. Startled, Kekul\u00e9 realized that the benzene molecule forms a ring, the familiar hexagon now found in organic chemistry textbooks. I don't know what dreams you've had. They may be frightening or lovely, but the contrast between dreams and reality might be hard for you to handle. Perhaps you feel exhausted from dreaming. However, regardless of the situation, dreams still have a positive impact. If you avoid sleep out of fear, it will harm you even more.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, friend! Actually, everyone dreams every day. Dreaming is a very normal psychological activity. I don't know what issue is troubling you, but if it's about dreaming, you don't need to worry. Modern scientists have discovered through sleep research that people's eyeballs are actually still during sleep, and rapid eye movement only occurs during shallow sleep. These two states alternate and change in a cyclical manner during sleep. When sleep enters the rapid eye movement (REM) stage, the sleeper is often dreaming. So far, most sleep laboratories report a dream recall rate of 90% to 95% after awakening from REM sleep. Therefore, REM sleep is also called dream sleep, while non-REM sleep is called dreamless sleep. Dream sleep and dreamless sleep together constitute the entire sleep process. Therefore, dreams rely entirely on the sleep process and are a special phenomenon that occurs during sleep. In people's lives, many people are greatly troubled by their dreams and always worry that their dreams will affect their physical health. From the perspective of psychoanalysis, dreams have the meaning of satisfying desires. Whether you are a noble person or a humble person, our minds contain too many desires that we are willing or able to express and desires that we are unwilling or unable to express. Among these endless desires, many cannot be immediately fulfilled or cannot be fulfilled in real life. Unfulfilled or impossible desires in real life can be satisfied psychologically in dreams, helping to regulate mental balance. Without dreams, the multitude of desires, big and small, would make it impossible for us to sleep peacefully. Even if we sometimes feel anxious and uneasy in our dreams, we can still dream and sleep soundly. Dreaming can also relieve fatigue and rejuvenate the body. Dreaming helps brain function. Dreaming can cause highly active chemical reactions within the brain, peak synthesis and renewal of protein in brain cells, while swiftly flowing blood brings oxygen and nutrients, and carries away waste, allowing brain cells that cannot normally renew themselves to quickly update their proteins. Actually, I am someone who dreams a lot. We are more likely to remember our dreams when we wake up from a light sleep state, while we cannot remember our dreams when we wake up from a deep sleep state, but that doesn't mean we didn't dream. Are you worried if your dreams are nightmares or something else? I hope my answer can be helpful to you. Your friend, Lan.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello~~~ On the topic of dreaming, there have been many discussions even before the formal emergence of the field of psychology and the exploration of people's inner thoughts. Different theorists have different understandings of dreams, and due to the difficulty in studying dreams themselves, there is no completely correct and orthodox theory. Freud believed that dreams are the expression of content that is repressed and not acknowledged by one's consciousness, and they are formed after being disguised. On the other hand, some scholars believe that dreams are a way to release repressed emotions from the daytime. If you are interested, you can try searching online for books and theories on dream interpretation. Regardless of which theory is used to explain it, dreaming itself is not a bad thing. It may be due to an improper sleeping position, recent thoughts in your mind, or the pressures of study and life. Don't worry too much about it. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5974
       },
       {
        "question": "How can one determine the meaning of life and avoid wasting it when they have no major aspirations?",
        "description": "Feeling stressed when seeing accomplished individuals, but lacking significant aspirations oneself, can lead to feelings of disappointment and wasting one's life.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"What is success, what is wasting time. When we have such doubts, it indicates that we are seeking room for improvement. Everyone has different values \u200b\u200band orientations. We only see one side of other people's lives. Perhaps while we envy others' lives, others also envy our lives. Take a moment to ask yourself, what kind of life do you want, what kind of life do you want. What goals are you pursuing? Don't always just focus on other people's success, but focus more on your own progress. Define success in a more refined way, then you will often see your own small successes. Keep it up, worker.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1112
       },
       {
        "question": "36-year-old woman, baby is eight months old, feels psychologically abnormal after giving birth to the child?",
        "description": "Because of lack of sleep, my mood is very bad and easily irritable. Whenever I hear my in-laws speak, I feel disgusted and I can't be bothered to listen to what they say. Especially when they gossip a lot, I feel even more repulsed. My in-laws are the type that talks a lot and talks randomly. Ever since they moved in, my husband and I have been arguing a lot and our relationship is not good anymore. It's not that my in-laws are bad, they do the grocery shopping and cooking, but I just feel like there's not enough personal space anymore. I have to speak to my husband secretly and after we had a child, we hardly have any private conversations. Now we barely speak at all, when we're taking care of the child, he doesn't want to talk and I don't want to talk either, we just silently watch. He plays with his phone and I take care of the child.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Through your narration, I have gathered a few key pieces of information: (1) Life stage: 36 years old (just gave birth to a son) (2) Major conflicts: between you and your spouse (reduced communication, decreased personal space), with your parents-in-law (encroachment on the personal space of you and your spouse) (3) Emotional manifestations: lack of sleep, easily irritable mood. Based on the issues you described, the possible causes might be: (1) Physical reasons: having just given birth to a child, you are in the postpartum period. At this stage, the hormonal levels in a woman's body experience a sharp decline, resulting in increased emotional fluctuations. Your body becomes fragile and exhausted due to childbirth, and your mental state can also become sensitive during this phase. Therefore, it is easy to experience emotional problems after giving birth. I recommend going to the hospital for a physical examination and consulting with a doctor about appropriate medication for professional postpartum recovery. (2) Psychological reasons: as mentioned above, your psychological state becomes sensitive and prone to emotional fluctuations due to the abrupt hormonal changes. Additionally, the lack of personal space and the inability to have intimate communication with your husband further diminish your sense of security and belonging. Subconsciously attributing this negative emotion to your parents-in-law can escalate family issues. I suggest communicating with your husband, explaining your situation to him, and letting him address the problem with your parents-in-law. If necessary, seek help from a therapist to alleviate your emotional problems. Make sure to pay attention to the issue to prevent it from developing into more severe psychological problems. This is my analysis and advice, I hope it helps you! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14326
       },
       {
        "question": "How to resolve the conflict in Oedipus Rex? Would feeling guilty if one surpasses their parents?",
        "description": "After graduating, I have been working in Shanghai. Due to the epidemic this year, my previous company dissolved, so I went back to my hometown to live with my parents. During this period, I have been feeling strange for no reason. For example, I feel awkward when I have to put on makeup and wear a nice dress for job interviews. When I see the way my mom looks at me when I come home, I feel embarrassed and weird. They are used to living frugally, so even when I buy snacks or ice cream, it feels strange. I feel like enjoying life a little is a kind of guilt, and at the same time, I feel that I don't deserve to live a good life or to have a good job. I came across a quote by Teacher Zeng Qifeng before: \"Anything related to suppressing one's abilities may be related to the Oedipus complex.\" I feel like I am suppressing my own abilities, making myself live in hardship, because if I surpass my parents, there seems to be a particularly difficult to eliminate feeling of guilt, or you could say I am betraying them (it's hard to describe this feeling). I would like to ask the teachers for guidance on how to resolve this conflict. Would it be better for me to live alone away from my parents?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you mentioned that once you are in front of your parents, you suppress your desires and abilities because they have had a difficult life. If you surpass them, you will have an indelible guilt. I have also had similar experiences and can understand the awkwardness and discomfort you mentioned. You also mentioned the \"Oedipus conflict\" theory discussed by Teacher Zeng Qifeng. This theory can explain your feelings to a certain extent, but there can be other explanations as well. Let me share my opinion for your reference. First, feeling awkward or ashamed in front of your parents when you are able to have things or a life better than theirs shows your \"sympathy\" or \"empathy\". It is true that our parents have lived a harder life than us, which is related to the era they grew up in. Your awareness of their hardships shows humility and understanding, and this emotion enables you to have more compassion and be more considerate towards them. Second, it is normal to feel a sense of unworthiness in front of our parents when we can enjoy the many good things in life. This is because we were indeed born in a peaceful era, and the foundation that our parents have worked hard for allows us to have a comfortable life. Perhaps when you were young, your parents had strict expectations of you, which made you feel that everything you have must come at a great cost. However, in reality, as long as it is not obtained through theft, it is reasonable for you to use money that you have earned to consume. Lastly, you mentioned if it would be better to live alone away from your parents. In my opinion, it can indeed improve your situation. You can reflect on whether you still have such emotions when you live alone. If not, it means it works. If you cannot leave your parents, when you are at home and realize that you have feelings of awkwardness or guilt, you can simply say \"Thank you for your hard work\" to them, or cook something delicious for them, or pour them a glass of water. You can give it a try and see if it helps you feel a little better. Best wishes, Sauce.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Indeed, children have a natural loyalty towards their parents, and if they live their lives differently from their parents, they may feel a sense of betrayal. Under the burden of this guilt, it will be difficult to transcend oneself. At this time, if one can leave their parents and live independently for a period of time, complete their own growth, and form a stable state of personality, then when they reconnect with their parents, they may be able to better assert themselves. If the questioner already feels that they don't fit in with their parents in many ways, then perhaps it's time to leave.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15942
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling depressed! Feeling very down during the test! What should I do?",
        "description": "I have been feeling very depressed lately. I wish I could just leave, but I can't bear to do it. Everything seems annoying, and I can see through people and things very clearly. It all feels meaningless. I don't have a sense of accomplishment either. I can't find anyone to confide in, as nobody seems reliable.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, sharing and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Relationships are an important issue and channel for us. The flow of emotions plays a very important role in our stability and sense of security. If you feel unreliable and can't find someone to confide in, you can find a professional psychologist. Through 1-2 sessions of interviews, you can see if you and the counselor are a good match, and then decide whether to open up more. Trust that a professional psychologist can make you feel a \"safe and protected\" space. Hope this helps. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1076
       },
       {
        "question": "30-year-old male, I get angry whenever someone's behavior doesn't meet my expectations.",
        "description": "My wife goes to the supermarket to buy things while I wait. If she takes longer than my psychological time, I get angry. I hold onto things that are difficult to hold, and my wife walks ahead of me (she also has things in her hands, but they are easier to hold). She doesn't put the things on the chair by the door in advance and open the door for me to put them down. In an instant, I explode. I have set standards for everything in my mind, and I get angry whenever something doesn't meet these standards or doesn't happen as I expected, no matter who it is. I have looked it up online, and this indicates a younger psychological age (even though I am already 30), excessive self-centeredness, and a need for control that is not being fulfilled. The solution is to find the underlying reasons behind the anger and communicate my feelings with others. I need to have empathy and try to think from others' perspectives. I am willing to try these methods, but there are two things I feel I cannot overcome. 1. I get angry immediately whenever I encounter a similar situation, almost instinctively. I cannot control it at all. 2. When I am treated unfairly (like in the situation above, when I am holding things that are difficult to hold and about to drop them, and if someone fails to notice or help, I get angry), I usually end up having a big argument. I just don't want to say anything. The reasons why I want to change are: 1. I don't want my wife and children to be affected. 2. It can affect my interactions with others in all aspects. 3. My inner emotions are constantly affected.",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, personality traits, self-improvement.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, thank you very much for your response. After reading your reply, I felt a pang of sourness in my heart. It is really hard to imagine how you managed to overcome the deep trauma in your original family. Moreover, despite the profound trauma in your original family, you are still able to say that \"I should be considered middle-class through hard work, my wife and I make a combined income of nearly one million RMB per year, my wife is virtuous and kind, and we had a child last year, our small family is happy.\" This fully demonstrates how strong your vitality is! Because there are many visitors with similar experiences to your upbringing, and they often cannot achieve the same level of career success as you. Just based on this point, I want to give you a thumbs up and applause. The summary of your reply can be as follows: 1. The experience of being a \"left-behind child\" during childhood led to a serious lack of \"parental love\" for you! Coupled with the fact that \"your family was poor when you were young, and you were looked down upon by others,\" you also couldn't feel much \"love\" from those around you! This has resulted in your deep inner \"emotional box\" being in a prolonged state of \"emptiness\" without filling it with \"love\"! In the long-term absence of love, you are prone to various \"irrational\" behaviors! Your current \"desire for control\" is one such result! 2. The relationship between your parents is not good, and it often exists in a \"war mode\"! Among them, your father often suspects your mother of \"having an affair\"; your mother likes to \"scold\" your father... Being in such an environment for a long time, you unknowingly succumbed to the \"poison\" of this family atmosphere! Moreover, you have unconsciously \"copied\" this relationship pattern between your parents into your current family relationships and daily interpersonal relationships! In Freud's words, this is called \"compulsive repetition\"! 3. You said, \"My grandfather cheated and abandoned my father and his three siblings when my father was young, so I am particularly sensitive.\" From this, it appears that your father also experienced \"trauma\"; he also lacked \"fatherly love\" from childhood to adulthood, and the \"emotional box\" deep within his heart has also been in a state of emptiness. He is also a person who needs to be \"cared for\"! His \"special sensitivity\" is also a long-term lack of love resulting in \"irrational\" behavior! So, on the surface, this seems like your personal problem, but if we trace it back, it is actually a problem within your entire \"family system\"! If you want to solve it, you need to undergo \"family system therapy\"! My personal suggestion is that now that you have economic resources, you can definitely find a good psychotherapist for one-on-one counseling! Start with \"cognitive therapy,\" and try to change your \"cognitive patterns\" and the related \"emotional\" and \"behavioral\" patterns! Then, guide you to \"shift your perspective\" on your original family and try to \"empathize\" with your father and mother, experiencing their \"struggles\"! If possible, you can also involve your wife and parents in a \"group counseling\" program, combining individual counseling to undergo \"family system therapy\" and fundamentally solve your problem! Of course, these are purely personal suggestions. I hope they can help you. If there is anything incorrect, please feel free to criticize and correct me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, I can feel that you are a responsible husband who is able to be self-aware in a timely manner, which is highly commendable. But you are struggling with not being able to control your emotions, causing great distress to your family, colleagues, and yourself. I truly understand your feelings of losing control over things and emotions, which make you feel uneasy. You always want to be in control of something, but it seems like you are constantly in a state of losing control, manifested by irritability, anger, and frustration. This is a stress response to your inner unease, and you are truly going through a lot. Looking at your family background, we can find some underlying causes such as childhood experiences, feelings of abandonment, and tense parental relationships, which can create traumatic memories in our hearts, leading to a lack of security and fear of loss. Perhaps having a sense of control or a feeling of being in control is the best way for you to reduce this uneasiness. So, you have created many so-called \"standards\" in your mind, derived from your own feelings, time, space, and the reactions of others. In your subconscious, if you can control the development of everything and everyone around you, you will briefly experience relaxation. However, this is highly unrealistic. There will always be a child in your heart that refuses to grow up, that wounded child who was not well protected in childhood. It is reluctant to grow up, regardless of age. Trauma cannot be healed, but we can try to face it, accept ourselves, and seek professional psychological help when you are not yet \"psychologically capable\" of facing all of this. We can never rewrite past experiences or choose our biological families, but we can choose to change ourselves. You have tried, but with minimal results, believing that it is instinctual and out of your control. This is a beautiful \"excuse\" found in your subconscious for not wanting to change. Without letting go and accepting, there is no way to move forward lightly. Carrying the \"trauma,\" you will continue to suffer. Every outburst of anger, every moment of frustration, is a form of harm to yourself and the people around you. Therefore, learning to love oneself and improving the ability to love oneself is the only way to love your family and your life. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: I understand your feelings very well. You have set standards for everything in your mind, and whenever these standards do not meet your expectations, you get angry. You feel that you cannot control your emotions, but you also deeply understand that every time you get angry, it not only damages your relationships but also hurts your loved ones. You want to change but cannot control yourself. So every time you get angry, you feel guilty towards your loved ones, and you also blame yourself more and more. This conflicting and regretful emotion must be very difficult for you. In fact, OP, you are very intelligent. You know that the current solution is to find the reason behind your anger and communicate your feelings with others. You need empathy and to think from other people's perspectives, while also trying to find this reason online. You try to overcome it, but there are still two problems that can't be solved. Don't worry, let's take a look at the issues you mentioned together. \"As long as something similar happens, I get angry immediately, like instinct, I can't control it at all.\" (In fact, from the moment you feel your authority is challenged, subconsciously, you start to fear your own anger, so you are waiting for the appearance of this emotion. Your thoughts are focused on this, and as a result, even a tiny physiological reaction can cause your excessive attention. This creates a conditioned reflex of anger and becomes fixed.) \"When I am treated unfairly, I usually have a big fight, but I don't want to talk.\" (OP, do you see the contradiction in your statement? This mainly reflects the fact that on one hand, you are deeply affected by emotional distress, but on the other hand, you believe that everything should be according to your standards. This cognitive contradiction causes you great pain when encountering problems. And only when you change your way of looking at problems can your inner emotional cognition achieve unity.) So, now that we have identified the causes of the problems, what should we do? 1. Change your cognition. In your text, OP, you mentioned the words \"unfair treatment.\" You mentioned that you feel that you are not able to hold the things you take, and this feeling makes you experience unfairness. However, in your previous text, you mentioned that your wife walks ahead, and she also holds things, but it's easier for her. In fact, the other person is also holding things. It's easier because, in our daily cognition, we usually think that women have less strength. But is this really unfair? In thinking about problems, we often instinctively start from our own perspective. The fact that your wife has fewer things may be unfair, but when you demand others according to your own standards, is that another form of unfairness? Fairness is relative and there is no absolute fairness. Often, we feel that things are unfair because of our own perspective. When we demand others according to our own standards and we don't meet them, they may also feel that they are being treated unfairly. Putting yourself in others' shoes helps you see the truth of the problem. 2. Strengthen communication. Strengthening communication actually helps us to align our standards with others. Our own internal standard and the other person's internal standard are not the same. Just like some people think that thin girls are more attractive and some people think that curvy girls are more attractive. Your standard, OP, cannot represent the standard in the other person's heart. Strengthening communication does not mean you have to give up your dignity or compromise with others, but it means that through communication, we adjust the standards in our hearts towards a common direction. For example, in the matter of carrying things, you can tell your wife before picking up things that heavy things should be carried together so that no one will be so tired. I believe your wife loves you and will agree to your request. And many times, if you feel wronged but do not express it, how can the other person know? 3. Shift your attention and relax by doing things you are interested in: When you force yourself to think about your standards and feel that you are going to get angry, the most important thing is to find a way to shift your attention and quickly get out of the present symptoms, to get rid of the suffering. For example, when you are in an environment that easily provokes anger, start reading novels or listening to music that you are interested in. By focusing all your attention on the novel or music, you may forget about the things you often associate with. In addition, you can also improve your compulsive emotions through Morita therapy, etc. Building on the foundation of changing cognition, facing your emotions properly is the root solution. I hope this text can help you, OP. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi! Based on your description, I have two observations that I would like to share with you. The first is that you have a clear understanding of your own issues and your principles of right and wrong. You seem to have a clear cognition. The second is that you are trapped by your own personality, specifically your tendency to explode in anger as a way to solve certain problems. You are aware that this explosive behavior is not right, but you find it difficult to control. Is that correct? It is my personal judgment that you may have become addicted to these outbursts. Just like smoking or drinking, this addiction to explosive behavior allows you to address some issues, such as when your psychological needs are being ignored. Through these outbursts, the people around you become highly attentive to your needs, even though it may harm them. At the same time, your emotions find an outlet for release. The benefits of these outbursts may be the reason why it is difficult for you to let go of them. So even though you know you should change, you may experience withdrawal symptoms during the process of change and feel that your previous way of explosive behavior is more comfortable. The deeper reason behind these outbursts may be that your psychological needs often go unnoticed. This could be a result of your upbringing, where your psychological needs were often not supported by intimate relationships. Perhaps there were attempts at communication, but they were met with heartless rejection or suppression, leading you to unconsciously believe that reasonable expression of your feelings does not meet your expectations, while explosive behavior does. Over time, this has become a habit or an addiction. As it is evident that it is significantly impacting your family life, it becomes hard for you to quit. The key issue here is the fear of having your vulnerable needs suppressed or ignored. When you feel you are being treated unfairly, speaking out calmly may not seem impactful enough. You may worry about facing suppression or neglect from your surroundings, making you question if you are being overly sensitive and leading to self-doubt, almost as if exposing your wounds to others only to be hurt by their insensitivity. One possible solution is to seek understanding and support from your wife, who can provide comfort and support during key moments when you calmly voice your experiences of unfair treatment. This can help warm your fragile inner self and provide a sense of security. Feel free to message me for further consultation or clarification.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010Learning to truly grow up starts with self-satisfaction\u3011\u3010First of all\u3011, as you mentioned, your current behavior is like that of a child. When a mother doesn't buy you a toy, you cry, stomp your feet, and insist on getting your own way. This is how children behave: \"If you don't meet my needs, I'll make you suffer. I'll cause trouble, regardless of whether you like it or not. I will make you uncomfortable. When you're uncomfortable, you'll concede and buy me a toy.\" \u3010Secondly\u3011 Why are you addicted to getting angry? Because it works. People generally fear others getting angry, especially since you are an adult man. Consequently, they give in and you achieve your goal. Through this experience, you will continue to respond in the same way in order to accomplish your objectives. Furthermore, because you haven't learned new, healthy ways to satisfy your needs, you will rely on old patterns. Unfortunately, everyone fears you and may have negative interactions with you. \u3010Thirdly\u3011 \"I can't manage without you.\" Your current behavior is actually a typical \"dependent\" pattern. People with this behavior pattern have a negative belief that \"I can't manage without you.\" Your self-satisfaction comes from external sources, and self-love is lacking. Recognizing this, your current task is to learn to \"self-satisfy.\" \u3010Fourthly\u3011 Change your mindset: \"I can also manage on my own.\" When you can't carry something in the supermarket and the other person doesn't understand you, you can find other tools to help, like a shopping cart or putting it on the ground, or ask someone else for help. If no one understands, you can understand yourself or find someone else to understand you. Maybe the characters in a TV drama will understand you. \u3010Fifthly\u3011 Learn to separate boundaries and understand that others may or may not understand you; it's their business, and you can't interfere. Learn to understand yourself or find someone else to understand you, or find something that makes you feel understood. This is something you need to do on your own, and it has nothing to do with others. If someone understands you, that's good. If not, do your own thing. After all, you can manage on your own. Self-love is always accompanied by independence. Only a person who can love themselves can learn to love others. Best wishes to you, Namaste!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: You made it very clear above, and we can work together to make an effort and hopefully help you. Everyone has their own personality, and theoretically, there is nothing wrong with that. But as you said, you are not alone now, you have a family, so you need to take care of their feelings. There is a clear compulsion here, you must feel the same way as yourself. I believe you are also very clear about this, but you can't handle it. This psychological state needs the involvement of professional psychological counseling. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. When your wife goes to the supermarket to buy things, you wait for her for longer than your psychological time, and you get angry because you have to hold uncomfortable things while she walks ahead (she also has things in her hands, but they are easier to hold). She doesn't put the things on the chair at the door and open it in advance for you to put the things down, and you explode instantly (so may I ask, did you tell your wife how long your psychological time is? If you didn't, how would she know that it exceeded your psychological time? Did she know that you were angry? Did she understand why you were angry? I want to confirm this: is it that she didn't put the things on the chair, but opened the door early and asked you to put them down, and then you exploded? If that's the case, I feel that in your mind, you think- since she wants to open the door, why does she still ask you to put the things down?), 2. You set standards for everything in your mind, and you get angry if it doesn't meet this standard or if what you expect doesn't happen, no matter who it is. You have looked it up online, and this is a sign of a younger psychological age (even though you are already 30 years old), being overly centered on oneself, and having a need for control and a lack of satisfaction. The solution is to find the root cause behind your anger and communicate your feelings to others. There must be empathy and considering things from others' perspectives (you searched this online, which is correct, but these are just the first steps, the next steps are: how to find the root cause, how to communicate with others, how to express empathy, and how to see things from others' perspectives, etc. These require professional guidance and learning), 3. You are willing to try some of these methods, but there are two things that you feel you cannot overcome: a. Every time you encounter a similar situation, you immediately get angry, as if it is instinctual, and you cannot control it at all (that \"instinct\" you mentioned is a kind of inertia, it is also a habit. Generally, it is a habitual thinking pattern, such as muscle mode, thinking mode, etc. This needs to start with very obvious events and practice them one by one. Breaking them one by one will gradually change the habitual anger. To be honest, this takes time, and it will not necessarily have good results just by cooperating with a counselor's efforts), b. When you are treated unfairly (like what I mentioned above, if you can't hold the things you are carrying, and you don't want to speak up, if you didn't notice or do anything, you get angry), you usually have a big fight and don't want to talk about it (yes, this is also a habitual behavior caused by habitual thinking. We need to unravel the knot and even find out why you have such a strong feeling of being treated unfairly. Is it not something that just happened recently? And the previous event has been a knot in your heart that needs to be untied. This requires professional counseling. It's not something that can be done alone), 4. Why do you want to change: a. You don't want your wife and children to suffer, b. It will affect all aspects of your interactions with others, c. Your inner emotions are always affected (yes, I think you are unwilling to act and behave like this. Through your desire to change, I can see your determination to change. Now you just need specific methods and professional help. I think you can do it), Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish your family harmony! If you have any detailed confusion, please feel free to private message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It's great that you can notice and have the willingness to actively adjust your potential issues. For most people, facing their problems can often be harder than correcting them, so I must commend you for that! The statement \"I looked it up online, and it says it's a case of having a younger psychological age (despite being 30 years old), being excessively self-centered, and having a need for control with unsatisfied feelings of control\" is actually quite vague. It's like using \"immaturity\" to label any problem a person can't handle. Coming to a certain conclusion is not difficult, but what's hard is providing the reasons behind the formation of this issue and suggesting a solution. This can be done through the \"three steps\": what it is, why it happens, and what to do. This situation can be explained and adjusted from the perspectives of psychology and cognitive neuroscience, where the relationship between the two is somewhat like software and hardware. From a psychological standpoint, this \"anger\" is more like a \"psychological defense mechanism.\" Underneath this anger lies a sense of unease and even fear, meaning that your real emotions are not anger but rather fear and worry. Where do these emotions come from? What gives rise to them? These are what we truly need to address and handle. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can be highly effective in addressing and correcting irrational beliefs. Cognitive neuroscience, also known as brain neuroscience, published an article on the official website of China's Ministry of Science and Technology in 2007 titled \"The Neurological Roots of Aggression and Violence.\" The article pointed out that individuals with high aggression have stronger activity in the amygdala, which is associated with fear, and weaker and slower activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is related to reasoning and decision-making. Therefore, exercising the prefrontal cortex can also have a positive impact on emotional issues. Research has shown that engaging in meditation practice for more than 8 weeks brings about noticeable changes in the left and right prefrontal cortex of the brain. I won't go into great detail about meditation practice, as there is already a dedicated section on the platform called \"Meditation Planet\" that provides detailed explanations, including some \"breath-pressure reduction techniques\" which show significant results with consistent practice. Of course, there are also more \"direct and effective\" methods, but they may also have certain negative side effects, such as aversion therapy and flooding therapy. These treatment options must be undertaken under the guidance of professionals and are not highly recommended. If your current situation is causing significant distress and has even started to affect your work, family, and social interactions, it may be worth considering seeking psychological counseling. Wishing you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Actually, seeing your question, I felt relieved for you. Because you described it very clearly, it means that you have already spent some time and effort to analyze and summarize your own problems and the underlying causes. The kind of situation you described can indeed cause significant interpersonal relationship difficulties and discomfort. With your understanding of yourself, let's see what else we can do~ \u3010Turning your excessive attention to details into a great advantage\u3011 \"When my wife goes to the supermarket to buy things and I wait for her for longer than my psychological time, I get angry. I'm holding something that is not easy to hold, and my wife is walking ahead of me (she is also holding things, but they are easier to hold). She doesn't put the things on the chair at the door and open it in advance for me to put them down, and I explode instantly.\" From this passage, I seem to see what you look like when you get angry. You are probably very detail-oriented and have mentally rehearsed the upcoming life situations, hoping that the other person can pay attention to details like you do and do what you want. In psychology, there is a term that corresponds to this, called the \"Golden Rule.\" It means treating others the way you want to be treated. Since you can consider these detailed moments of life, you can also provide good quality service in life, changing from \"I demand\" to \"I can.\" This not only makes your loved one happy and relieves your discomfort but also allows you to realize that what you originally thought was a problem can be turned into an advantage, like being a meticulous butler in a five-star hotel. This process may be long or short. Considering the reasons you mentioned, those three points expose your loving and willing-to-give excellent qualities. So you can give it a try and make an effort. It's still the same question, turning around may reveal your great advantages. \u3010Conditioned reflex, going against the grain\u3011 \"Whenever I encounter similar things, I immediately get angry, like instinct. I can't control it at all.\" Behavior and physiology can be linked. When you encounter similar things, your body reacts physiologically first, and this physiological reaction triggers an emotional stress response. So let's start by adjusting the intermediate link. When the physiological reaction occurs, can we replace it with a different response? For example, humming a tune, smiling, or saying a self-suggestion phrase. By forming a set behavioral performance when similar things happen, it's like setting an alarm clock to signal us. The purpose of doing this is not to suppress emotions, because emotions cannot be completely smoothed out just by suppression. It is to give us more buffer time to think and adjust our coping strategies. I heard a story once. A mom used to get angry and curse a lot, which was embarrassing and worried for her sunny boy. So whenever he heard his mom being impolite to someone, he started singing. Of course, the result was very good. Mom was reminded by polite and thoughtful behavior and slowly changed herself, and the grown-up boy also had good singing skills. Since you have the intention to change, give yourself some more time and effort, and try cultivating a kind \"signature move.\" \u3010Pay more attention to your inner child\u3011 \"When I feel treated unfairly (like the example above, I am holding something that is not easy to hold and it's slipping from my hands, but I just don't want to say anything. If you don't notice it or do something, I get angry). I usually have a big argument; I just don't want to say it.\" It sounds a bit exaggerated, but I understand you very well. Friends who have had similar psychological experiences will understand. It's not that we must have fairness, but because we want everyone and everything around us to develop perfectly. We hope things or environments are organized and taken seriously, and that everyone is well taken care of. Since everyone should think this way, why do I have to say it out loud, right? So when things don't happen as we expect, we become anxious and irritated. This kind of emotion shows that our inner child indeed feels neglected. So we need to take care of our inner child. We need to tell them that we should give others some time, and everyone's perspective and focus are different. If they notice it, it will definitely be done with love, and it will be done perfectly. When our inner child is calm, we will naturally feel comfortable. Actually, here, I want to say that speaking out our dissatisfaction and discomfort, just like you are now asking the question, can be very helpful in healing and improving ourselves. Because asking the question itself is a way of externalizing. In other words, as a teacher once said, we should learn to tell our own story. Dare to tell it to others, \"I was a little angry just now. You didn't put the things on the chair, which I didn't expect, and it made me uncomfortable...\"... Believe in yourself! If you have the original intention of asking this question, you will definitely gain a lot. In the process of cultivating and improving ourselves, it is also the process of accumulating energy and expressing love to ourselves. I suggest you try running or doing meditation, they may help you. The sky is blue, you are here, and life can be beautiful! The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! After reading your description, I feel that you have a strong self-awareness. Let's take a look at your concerns together: \"I have set standards for everything in my mind, and I get angry whenever something doesn't meet these standards or when things don't go as I expected, no matter who it is.\" You are demanding the whole world to meet your standards and not considering others as independent individuals. Each person is unique, with different abilities, growth processes, life experiences, etc. Because people are different, even when faced with the same situation, the outcomes will be different. Similarly, you also have high expectations for yourself, right? If your actions don't meet your own standards, you also tend to blame yourself, don't you? \"I have looked it up online, and it indicates that this is a sign of having a young psychological age (even though I am already 30 years old), excessive self-centeredness, and a desire for control, an unsatisfied sense of control.\" What lies behind the need for control? It is fear, fear of losing control. It can also be said that deep down inside, you feel unable to confront the uncertainties in life, so you try to control everything. \"The solution is to find the underlying reasons behind the anger and communicate your feelings to others. It is important to have empathy and consider situations from other people's perspectives. I am willing to try these methods. However, there are two things that I feel I cannot overcome: 1. Whenever I come across similar situations, I immediately get angry, as if it is instinctual and I cannot control it. 2. When I feel I am being treated unfairly (like in the example before, if I'm unable to hold onto something or if it's difficult to get, and the other person doesn't notice or do something about it, I get angry), I usually end up having a big argument because I don't want to say it.\" It is evident that you prioritize personal growth and continuously seek solutions. However, some methods are difficult to apply, and you end up exploding with anger. Now, let's look at the two points you mentioned. When things don't meet your expectations, you immediately get frustrated. There is a need in your heart that you don't express, and you expect others to perceive it and guess your needs. If they guess correctly, then it's fine. If not, you end up having a big argument. When you read this, what image comes to mind? OP, I believe you already have a child, right? When a baby has a need, they use crying to communicate with adults. They are unable to specifically explain what their need is, and adults have to guess whether they are hungry or need a diaper change. If the adult doesn't meet their needs in a timely manner, the baby will cry even louder. In our eyes, they are crying, but in reality, the baby is expressing their anger. In psychology, there is a term called \"regression,\" which means that when adults face setbacks and feel powerless, they may regress to a younger stage and use coping mechanisms from that time to deal with the setback. Of course, there is another reason for the anger, which is \"narcissism,\" believing that you are omnipotent and the center of the universe. In the infant stage, infants exhibit narcissistic traits because whenever they cry, the bottle is handed to them, and their diaper is changed. In short, whenever they make a sound, they are immediately satisfied. Therefore, they assume they are the center of the universe and can do anything. Lastly, I will share some self-improvement methods: 1. Try to understand and accept the differences between yourself and others, instead of assuming the other person is wrong and blaming them when they don't meet your expectations. When someone behaves differently from your expectations, try to understand their thoughts at that moment (because thoughts determine behavior). Through practice, you will not only become more understanding and considerate of others but also gain new experiences in your world. When you realize that you are about to explode in anger, you can try saying to yourself, \"I am very angry, I want to explode, and I am behaving like an infant.\" (This method has personally worked for me.) 2. Learn to express your emotions and needs. The intimacy in a relationship depends mainly on sharing and accepting emotional experiences. I recommend the book \"Nonviolent Communication.\" 3. Self-acceptance. When a person is dissatisfied and blames others for many things, it also signifies their dissatisfaction with themselves. It's good to have expectations for oneself, but it's important to allow oneself to make mistakes and accept that others can also make mistakes. Best wishes, FF.",
          "has_label": false,
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          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! One can feel the OP's internal suppression, anger, and conflicts. They have thoughts that they keep to themselves, and when things don't go as expected, they get angry. Others don't know what's going on, so not only do the people around the OP feel uncomfortable and confused, but the OP themselves also feel worse. As an adult, expressing oneself with the attitude and approach of a minor makes it difficult for others to understand, accept, and recognize. This can bring unnecessary trouble and impact on one's normal social and family life. In the mentioned incidents, when the wife's behavior doesn't align with the OP's expectations, the OP becomes angry. Just like the OP said, they have a \"standard\" in their heart for everything. The OP uses their own \"standard\" to measure others' words and actions, expecting others to do things according to their \"standard\". If others don't, the OP gets angry. On the other hand, if others do things in a certain way, the OP doesn't get angry. This can be seen as others understanding, accepting, and approving the OP's internal \"standard\", satisfying the OP's ego. However, for others, these \"standards\" are the OP's own and not their own. The OP's demand for others to do things according to their own \"standard\" can be seen as attempting to control others according to the OP's thoughts, which prevents others from doing things according to their own ideas. It also makes it difficult for others to feel their own existence and worth, while also having to bear the pressure of meeting the OP's expectations. They also cannot obtain others' understanding, acceptance, and support for the OP's \"standards\" and thoughts. The OP keeps these \"standards\" hidden in their heart, and others can't see or hear them. Therefore, others naturally don't know what the OP is thinking, why they are angry, or they just feel inexplicably depressed. The external events are just stimuli, but what they trigger is the deep emotions in the OP's heart. The OP's reaction to things clearly exceeds the stimulus brought by the events themselves, indicating that the OP's heart has accumulated a lot of emotional stimuli and suppressed a lot of emotional feelings. It is these emotional stimuli that have had a significant impact on the OP's psyche. The OP's desire to control others to think and act according to their own thoughts can also be seen as an emotional projection from their heart, a denial and non-acceptance of oneself. They yearn to feel the existence and worth of themselves by controlling others, in order to satisfy the needs within. To resolve this situation, the OP can consider making an appointment with a suitable counselor to release their internal emotions. While communicating and sharing with others can release some emotions, it cannot repair the internal wounds. Even if some emotions are released, the wounds still remain and will generate emotional stress. Only by releasing emotions and repairing the wounds can the problem that troubles the OP be truly solved. Once the problem is resolved, the OP no longer needs to project their internal expectations onto others, and they won't easily get angry and hurt their family.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 17860
       },
       {
        "question": "Not too much dislike for studying, but fears school and teachers, cry every time going to school.",
        "description": "I have been to many schools, but the current one seems to make me hate it even more. I'm scared of teachers pushing me to do homework, afraid of going to class, and at home I absolutely don't want to do any assignments. I just want to avoid my classmates after school, but at school, I present myself as humorous and enjoy being with everyone. Because of studying, I even feel like dying, but I feel a little better when I go to the tutoring class that I voluntarily enrolled in. However, deep down, I still think I have depression. It might sound sudden, but that's how it is.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, anxiety, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing you express your true feelings so honestly, I applaud your courage. Changing schools multiple times and having to adapt to different class groups, different teachers, and different environments in a short period of time is a process that requires adaptability for a student. Building relationships with others requires mutual understanding and familiarity, but it takes time. Frequent school changes may disrupt the relationships you have just begun to establish with teachers, classmates, and the environment, as well as the teaching methods you have just become familiar with. Facing uncertainty, each of us feels worried and afraid when encountering a new environment and unfamiliar people. This feeling of not being in control puts you in an unstable state. On the other hand, you also have expectations. You want to present a positive image to others and care about how others perceive you. You are very humorous, and humor is extremely valuable in interpersonal interactions. Congratulations on possessing such a quality! This is a powerful resource within you, and I invite you to fully utilize its value, to experience the joy that humor brings to yourself and to your classmates, and it will also bring you positive interpersonal interactions. When you mentioned not wanting to do homework and not wanting to be pressured to do homework by teachers, I can truly understand you. The pressure on students nowadays is really huge. There is a lot of content to study, and every subject has homework, as well as many extracurricular assignments that are not required by the school, perhaps even from detestable cram schools. The most painful thing is that these cram schools are not voluntary. The pressure from school, the pressure from the new environment, the pressure from teachers, and the pressure from parents all feel like towering mountains overwhelming us, truly making it difficult for us to bear. I am glad that you have extracurricular classes that you enjoy and voluntarily enrolled in. There, you feel that learning is not so boring, and there, you have control over your own learning. This is something you genuinely desire! This is very important. Because there, you can find respite, and there, you can find enjoyment. Perhaps there are teachers you like, classmates you like, and subjects you like. I invite you to spend more time with the classmates, teachers, and subjects you like, trying to interact more with them, and communicate your frustrations to them. Another very important thing is to communicate with your parents and express your true feelings. I invite you to have your parents take you to a psychologist or counselor who can help you. Each of us may experience a dark period, and when we are moving forward in the darkness, we might feel lonely, and we might feel helpless. What we can do is to once again place our hope in something. Will a beam of light shine in? When the light shines in, the darkness will gradually fade. After the night is dawn, and in this world, many people silently support you, silently pay attention to you, and silently love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. 1. Fear of being pressured by teachers to do homework and not wanting to do assigned schoolwork. 2. However, OP still enjoys being in school and with classmates. 3. OP feels better in tutoring classes and it helps alleviate some discomfort. [Analysis and Suggestions] 1. OP mentioned not wanting to be pressured to do homework and not wanting to do assigned work, but is not as averse to voluntarily attending tutoring classes. It can be seen that OP may not dislike studying itself, but rather dislikes being forced to do certain things or being urged to do certain things. Is it uncomfortable for OP when Mom at home rushes OP to do something? 2. From the later description, OP also knows that this is not good. As a student, being full of aversion towards school is not conducive to their own development. So, since OP feels comfortable voluntarily, take some time off and think about what OP wants. Reflect on what kind of work OP wants to do, what kind of preparation is needed, and change from \"you must\" given by others to \"I need to for my future dreams.\" Perhaps OP's enthusiasm will improve.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20743
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it that as I grow older, I become more and more repressed, irritable, and distrustful of people?",
        "description": "When I was 16 years old, I hated my parents, so I went to a big city to work and intern by myself. At that time, I didn't have any friends or relatives in the big city. I would sometimes cry in secret when I was bullied or had my achievements stolen at work. Sometimes, I couldn't hold back my tears and would cry openly on the busy streets. I actually talked to my colleagues about my feelings, but later I found out they were laughing about it behind my back and never spoke to me again. After that, I felt like there was no point in saying anything. Your troubles are just a joke to others, how could they possibly understand! The loneliness and helplessness of being alone, the office politics between colleagues, the pressure to perform well, the lack of understanding from others, the misunderstandings with my family - I felt like no one loved me. I slowly felt like an abandoned child. Every time I saw parents buying things and having fun with their children, I felt envious and sad. I just wanted to ask why I didn't have that. But I didn't know who to talk to! When I was diagnosed with depression, I had to tell myself that it was fake, that it wasn't real! Because I still had to live! In those two years, I would often have breakdowns until three or four in the morning. Gradually, I became sensitive, repressed, irritable, and stopped trusting people. Later on, I went back to school, thinking I was better, but I realized that I couldn't escape from it at all. That lack of trust, sensitivity, and irritability seemed to be ingrained in me! I tried so hard to overcome it! Why is it me?\n\n",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I give you a hug. It feels like we are talking face to face. After listening to your description, I understand that you have many concerns. It is clear that you really want to change your current situation. However, dear friend, don't get too caught up in imagining your future self after making changes. Instead, accept and embrace your true self. Don't rush to change, take it slowly. You can gain a clear understanding of yourself, which indicates that you are a person with a kind heart. You just don't know how to give and accept love. 1. You haven't faced your depression and are avoiding your true self. 2. Deep down, you long for love, but you approach it with hatred. 3. You can't control your emotions and isolate yourself. 4. You want to change yourself but don't know how. The most fundamental belief in your heart is that you don't feel loved, and that's why everything seems bleak. The opposite of love is not hate, but rather, it is resentment. You desperately desire warmth, so you develop hatred towards everything you want to love. If you can understand this and change your mindset, I believe the warm fire in your heart can be reignited. I hope the following suggestions can help you break free from your self-imposed limitations: 1. Acknowledge your depression and seek medical treatment and psychological counseling. Having depression is nothing to be ashamed of. Trust your doctor and counselor, they will help you rediscover yourself and promote a healthy body and mind. 2. Shift your focus onto things you want to do. Try cooking a meal you enjoy, engage in gardening activities, and maintain a certain amount of physical exercise. I believe a fulfilled work and life will bring a sense of joy to you. 3. Love others to love yourself. Invest more love in people and things in your life. Do not hide or isolate yourself. Interact more with others and engage with life. I believe you can rediscover the feeling of love. Don't dwell on the past, look forward to the future! Lastly, remember to cooperate with your doctor and counselor. Believe that self-adjustment and external support will make you better and better. Do not give up on the beauty you desire. Keep going! The world and I love you! All the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Based on your description, the OP did not leave home and find a job alone until they were not yet an adult. They were bullied and had to handle everything on their own. When they shared their inner pain with their colleagues, they were met with \"laughter\" and their colleagues did not sympathize or comfort them. Feeling hurt, they slowly closed themselves off. One of the purposes of having explosive emotions is that it allows one to hurt others before they can be hurt themselves, so that others will not get close to them. Emotions are like a dam, without an outlet for release or venting, when they accumulate to a certain point, they will collapse and the dam will be completely destroyed. Sometimes, talking to others, writing a diary, engaging in vigorous exercise, etc. are like small openings in the dam, slowly pouring out bit by bit, so that it doesn't reach the point of collapse. As for the \"lack of trust\" you mentioned, perhaps in your life experience, there has never been someone deserving of your trust, or perhaps you have never felt the care and love from your family. Living in an environment devoid of love, filled with blame, insults, violence, and suspicion, one learns to behave this way. Life experiences, over time, further reinforce and accumulate negative experiences and perceptions, projecting the negative aspects onto new people one meets, so others always see the worst side of oneself. Try organizing and resolving past experiences, placing them in their rightful place in your heart, and then start anew. I will also share something with you here: increasing irritability is the inner self telling you that you are currently doing very poorly and need help, it is a reminder to yourself. If the people you have known previously cannot be trusted or provide help, try reaching out to others, such as seeking psychological counseling, as it provides an opportunity for yourself.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! @Hello, I read your experience, and I really want to give you a hug! It is understandable that you have become irritable and distrustful towards people. It's because you experienced a lot of darkness and setbacks at a young age, and you weren't prepared for it, and your parents, who should have been your guides and comforters, are no longer around. Your heart is dried up, drained by the external world, and you no longer have gentleness and passion for life. But you are not satisfied with who you are now, otherwise, you wouldn't seek help. This is not what you want. \u25cb It is important to mention that adolescence is a very important period (generally between 12-19 years old) for the individual's self-integration. Who am I? My abilities, worth, ideals, my position among others, and shaping my worldview, etc. Due to anger, you decided to go to a big city to work alone. I don't want to say this is a bad choice, because it also brought you new perspectives and allowed you to experience life firsthand. However, at the age of 16, you lacked experience in life, and you were also isolated. Work pressure and tasks squeezed your time, making it impossible for you to even think about issues related to self. The working environment, including various rules in the company, also made it difficult for you to adapt. When you can't even control your own life, you will have no time to consider interpersonal relationships. Please believe that not everyone is unworthy of your trust; it's probably just that you invested in the wrong people. Back then, you urgently needed an emotional outlet, and you didn't judge whether the other person was worthy of trust, thus causing you secondary harm. @I have to say that you really don't cherish yourself. Because you don't cherish your soul, depression came. If you continue to neglect, your mental health will collapse. You need rest now. You might as well take a break and sort out your emotions. The stage of self-identity transition didn't go well, so it's better to spend some time thinking about the lessons learned from these years of experience. Seek help from the people who are truly worth trusting, such as your parents, without worrying about losing face and staying silent; take the initiative to seek reliable external help. Your emotions need an outlet, perhaps you need someone to listen. Believe in your resilience. When your pain is understood and soothed, you will gain the courage to start again and realize that you are also worthy! You mentioned being afraid of becoming distrustful towards others. So don't choose to doubt others! Security comes from within yourself. The harm caused by others' deception and betrayal is not because it disappoints you, but because it makes you feel abandoned. When you are confident enough, the betrayal of others is just sending a message that you made a mistake, and then remember to cut your losses in time. Without this worry, trusting others will not be something to fear. @The time you spent in the workplace struggling will not only have negative effects but also teach you things that can help you when your spirits are exhausted. Through these experiences, you won't be too delicate, and you will become more experienced in dealing with things like participating in clubs. Return to school and fill the gaps in knowledge. Only with knowledge and abilities can you have choices. I hope my answer can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear. After reading your description, I really want to give you a hug. I know you must feel very lonely, helpless, anxious, and have a lot of emotions. You said when you were 16, you went to a big city to work alone because you hated your parents. Can I assume that you didn't get along well with your parents at home and went to another place to escape their influence? I believe you made that decision because you were very unhappy with your parents. However, in the big city, you had no friends or family, you were always by yourself. Occasionally, you considered your colleagues as close friends, but they didn't see us the same way. We and them are not in the same circle, and this loneliness remains deep in our hearts. At the same time, you start to doubt if there are any real friends, if anyone truly understands your feelings. As you grow older, when you see other people's family situations, you always feel like the abandoned one, the one with such a big difference in circumstances despite being around the same age. Your emotions continue to be suppressed, but you can't find anyone to talk to. You become depressed, irritable and stop trusting people. I think you must have gone through a lot of struggle, confusion, and still can't make sense of these relationships. You want to break free, but those feelings continue to hold you back. Overall, it seems like the current situation is that we have no friends, no love from our family, no one to accompany us, and we feel very lonely. The emotions become oppressive, and there is no one to confide in, no matter how hard we try, it seems to have no effect. Why me? Why am I the one suffering? Why am I the one facing this kind of situation? Can it be changed? I feel hopeless, I can't feel hope. Can someone tell me if it can be changed? This is perhaps the fundamental reason for you asking this question. I believe there is hope in what I see of you, because you haven't given in to the current situation. You are still seeking help, seeking direction, and finding ways to change. Firstly, if those feelings of distrust, sensitivity, irritability, and oppression seem to be engraved in our bones, let's start by changing what is deep-rooted. We and our environment are part of the same system. We know our hands can pick up things through our intentions. When we can't see light around us, we can fill our inner selves with light through our imagination. We can imagine the light inside our bodies, warming ourselves, gradually driving away the cold darkness from within. We can use our intentions to experience the changes in our bodies. Secondly, after we have experienced the changes in our bodies through our intentions, we start to believe that we have value. When we believe in our own worth, we can hold our heads up and confidently interact with others. Through confident interactions, we gradually attract attention, no longer being insignificant. Thirdly, once we have attracted the attention of others through interaction, what we need to do is to make them trust us. Why is it about making them trust us instead of finding someone we can trust? Because finding someone is difficult. Through my survey, we will find that almost half of the people are not in good situations. Therefore, in the process of seeking someone, it is certainly challenging. However, when we ourselves are trustworthy, we can attract many people who can trust us. Fourthly, when we have attracted trustworthy people, we know that life can gradually improve. We know that besides power struggles, there are real friends. These true friends may be able to empathize because they may have had similar experiences. They may belong to that half of people who are not in a good situation. When we find these people, we will know that we are not alone and helpless anymore. Of course, when we encounter them, we should pay attention to mutual assistance and listening to each other. Sometimes, we don't need to give too much advice. Fifthly, we want to meet similar people, but we also need to know that similar people may absorb our light and drag us into darkness. We need to strive to maintain our own light and give light to others, caring for ourselves and others. Sixthly, I know you are tired, but I still want to tell you that you are probably around 20 years old now. You are no longer the 16-year-old you. Perhaps the 16-year-old you was more helpless and naive, but the 20-year-old you has grown up a bit. Your shoulders may be broader, and your arms may be stronger. Do you feel that your actual strength now should be much greater than when you were 16? I want to tell you that now you can slowly change your situation. Your strength is growing day by day, as long as you don't let it defeat you, you will always have the ability to overcome it. Dear, if you are tired, you can find a counselor for guidance. If you are tired, you can temporarily put down all responsibilities and worries, and empty your mind, allowing your heart to relax. Don't let yourself be silent in that dark space all the time. Trying to go out and see different lives, different scenes, and see how others do it. Don't always stay in your own loop, only by breaking the cycle can there be a possibility of change.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Not believing in people is because you lack a sense of security, and being irritable is due to some unmet needs in your inner self. This situation is closely related to the protagonist's upbringing. The protagonist said that when they were 16 years old, they resented their parents and went to a big city to work as an intern alone. At that time, they had no relatives or friends in the city. They would sometimes cry in secret when being bullied or having their achievements stolen at work, and sometimes they would cannot help but cry on the street. They actually confided in their colleagues, but later found out that they were being laughed at behind their back and never spoke about it again. Afterward, they felt like there was nothing worth saying, and that their distress was just a joke. Understandably, being mocked by others gives them a sense of superiority, so there is no need to care about them. In this world, only oneself understands oneself. In fact, during our childhood, we had full trust in this society, but in the process of growing up, we encounter problems beyond our understanding, which may make us feel helpless or traumatized, resulting in a sense of insecurity. For example, if the protagonist is in a bad mood and confides in a colleague who mocks them, they may not dare to express their emotions in front of others, believing that displaying emotions is wrong or bad, and thus becoming increasingly emotionally detached and depressed. Therefore, a sense of insecurity is actually a common phenomenon in the process of growing up, and what we need to pay attention to is that a sense of insecurity is a distortion of our perception of reality. If left unaddressed, a sense of insecurity will gradually deepen in our hearts, becoming a part of our personality and affecting our thinking and cognitive habits, thus impacting our lives. Each of us encounters new setbacks and difficulties in life, but driven by a sense of insecurity, we are more likely to compare our current problems with those we were unable to cope with in the past, especially during childhood, thus generating negative psychological feelings and affecting our judgment of reality. Therefore, if the protagonist wants to solve this problem, they may need to try to reconcile with their parents, such as contacting them regularly. Additionally, they also need to release their anger. It is recommended that the protagonist learns boxing. If they do not find a way to resolve their fear and anger towards their parents, they will transfer it to their spouse and children. To avoid blaming others, what we can do is to release our anger and sadness. When you learn to vent your anger and sadness, your mind will no longer be depressed due to the accumulation of too many negative emotions. The negative effects brought by your parents will also decrease, and the harm you have suffered in the past can be repaired, allowing you to achieve true emotional and inner peace.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I saw your troubles and I hope I can help you. I see your independence and resilience, as well as your grievances and sadness. I feel sorry for your lonely wandering, but I admire your bravery in facing it. Life teaches us many things, things we are willing to bear and things we are not. No matter what has happened, the power to choose has always been in your hands. You need to learn to make choices for yourself. We can try to make adjustments in a few ways: First, say goodbye to the past. Let everything that happened in the past stay in the past. You can try writing a letter to your past self, reflecting on those feelings and putting an end to the past experiences and hurts. Tell yourself that both the good and the bad are already gone, and now is the starting point of everything. Second, set firm goals. Recognize your lack of trust, sensitivity, and irritability, as well as the underlying causes of these negative emotions. If you want to change, you need to firmly know what kind of person you want to become and take action towards it. Labels like being engraved in your bones or just being temporary can change as you approach your goals. Third, have reasonable expectations. I can tell that you have endless expectations for family relationships. Understand that misunderstandings and lack of understanding may not have formed overnight, so don't expect them to be resolved immediately. You can try taking the initiative to resolve conflicts. If you are not sure why you resent your parents, as you mature and grow older, try looking at your parents from a different perspective. They have their own difficulties. Even if complete reconciliation is not possible, make an effort to be understanding. Try a different way of interacting, and maybe you will have a different experience. Injuries are like ditches encountered on our journey. Falling into them is called setbacks, but climbing out is called growth. Your refusal to give up is your greatest strength. Keep going! Wishing you new gains every day.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear reader. I can understand how you are feeling right now and I sincerely hope that my words can offer you some help. You mentioned that at the age of 16, you left home to work in the city. You had to commute alone, and sometimes you were bullied or had your accomplishments stolen at work. When you confided in your colleagues, they would make fun of you. Sometimes you would cry secretly, or even cry right then and there on the street. You feel more and more that others can't understand your feelings, and you envy seeing others and their families getting along happily, while you feel lonely and helpless. The issues at work and problems in your family make you feel like an abandoned child. Later on, you returned to school, but the previous hurts have made you distrustful of others, sensitive, and irritable. First of all, I admire your independence and courage, and I want to say that you have worked hard all these years. Hugs to you. Why is it that as you grow up, you feel more and more suppressed and distrustful of others? This might be a stage in your growth. Since you have entered society and experienced its realities firsthand, both the good and the bad, it's not all negative because there are both indifferent and selfish people as well as warm and sincere ones. In fact, as you accumulate work experience or even just through reading books, you will find that you can have better relationships with your colleagues. I once read a sentence in a book that went something like \"Maturity is when a person doesn't reveal everything about themselves to others,\" which is similar to how one should interact with colleagues. There is inevitably competition in the workplace, and the best way to build relationships with colleagues is to focus on work matters, occasionally have meals together, and discuss personal matters with friends outside of work. Learning to communicate and choosing the right person to share your feelings with is important. For example, now, you can record your thoughts and share your troubles on various platforms. Is returning to school what you desired? Many people who enter the workforce after graduating from school often regret not putting in enough effort during their time on campus, realizing how precious it was. I'm not sure how you feel, but regardless, your previous solitary life has come to an end. Now, you are no longer fighting alone. You can find support here, and you can try to find yourself again and discover a state of comfort with the help of your classmates and teachers. Befriending your teachers and seeking their assistance in school is effective, and I believe you will gradually overcome the unhappiness of the past. I recommend the books \"Be a Emotionally Stable Adult Every Day\" and \"Ten Letters to Young Poets.\" Wishing you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. Give you a hug and a thumbs up! You are currently facing some problems and feeling confused and upset, and that's normal! I have seen many young girls who bravely overcome the lack of attention, negative judgment, and even discrimination from their parents. They believed that they were not the kind of person their parents said they were, and they went on to achieve great things. Some became company bosses, and others opened successful businesses, employing many people and making contributions to society! You also want to grow, but is the path to growth any easier for them? They also had no support, and they also faced the same challenges as you. Sometimes you just have to fight for it and refuse to be looked down upon. This simple mindset gave them the courage to keep going, accepting the ups and downs of the process, allowing themselves to be imperfect, allowing themselves to cry, allowing themselves to laugh, as long as they continue to strive and have goals! From this, you can see that the key is the goal that drives you to persist. As long as that goal is still there, you can find ways to overcome everything. So what if no one helps you? So what if you are beaten down, manipulated by others? You are different! Because you have already chosen a different path, right? Isn't that why I gave you a thumbs up? The road ahead is not smooth, yes! Sometimes you will get tired and stop, and that's normal! But never believe that you are mediocre! Isn't that right? Keep working hard! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6917
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I go back to school for the upcoming September to repeat a grade?",
        "description": "I had to take a leave of absence due to severe depression and had a history of self-harming tendencies. With the added pressure of school, I couldn't continue and decided to take a break in the first semester of sophomore year. Initially, I thought that taking six months off would help me adjust my state of mind. As the new school year was approaching, my mom took me to get a certificate for resuming school, and the test results showed significant improvement, changing to mild depression. The doctor responsible for the test asked me to make a decision based on my condition in the past week. During that period, I had been in a good mood, so I thought it might have influenced the test results. Yesterday, when I thought about going back to school soon, my emotions collapsed. My heart raced, and my hands and legs trembled. I felt that life had no meaning. My condition hasn't improved noticeably. If I take another year off, I might have to delay graduation by two years, and I may struggle even more to adapt at that time. So, what should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work, and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It would be a good idea to consult with your treating doctor before deciding whether to return to school or not. Since you have been receiving professional treatment, you can discuss your situation with your doctor. You mentioned that the test was based on your condition in the past week and showed improvements. It's great that you can already feel some improvement, as the main difference between depression and depressive mood is the long-term feeling of low mood. It is normal to have emotional breakdowns from time to time, even for people without depression, let alone for us who have depression. From your question, it seems that you are currently feeling anxious and afraid of both returning to school and not being able to keep up. However, there is no need to worry too much. Even if you go back to school, don't put too much pressure on yourself, because depression can affect your ability to learn. Just do your best. If the situation doesn't improve, you can choose to continue taking a break at home without too many concerns. If you find it difficult to adapt to school life in the end, you can also try self-study and exams. There are many paths to success. Your health is the most important thing, so take care of yourself first before considering other things. Remember, you are the most important. I had been advised to take a break from school multiple times due to my depression, but maybe I was a bit stubborn and insisted on carrying on. During that time, I also had doubts and talked to a trusted teacher about it. She didn't directly tell me what to choose, but she helped me weigh the pros and cons and assured me that she would support me no matter what decision I made. In the end, my condition did not improve, and I did not perform as well as I could have on exams, but I never regretted my decision because I had tried my best. You can also discuss this matter with someone who understands your situation and whom you trust. However, the final decision always lies with you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12789
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old female, my mom insists that I take the civil service exam, but I prefer to have freedom. What should I do?",
        "description": "I have been graduated for two years and have been working in the court for two years (as a contract worker). I can see the strict hierarchy within the court, the hardships of the judges, and the clear hierarchical structure of government officials. I feel that working in the court is very stressful. My mother is not in the legal profession, but both she and my sister believe that being a government official has less stress, stability, and it is not as hard for a girl. I told her that the legal profession is free and flexible, with the ability to manage one's own time. The atmosphere in a law firm is relaxed and there is no serious hierarchical relationship. Plus, you can earn more money. My mother said that you need to put in a lot of efforts to become an outstanding lawyer and it's too hard. I said that I can be an average earning lawyer, at least I can meet many people and broaden my horizons. The circle of government officials is small. I want to find a partner, but my mother said that the epidemic is severe now, there are many viruses, so it's better to work for the country. I'm very puzzled. On one hand, I want to follow my heart and have some adventures, but on the other hand, I am also worried that I don't have a secure job and solid experience, and I'm afraid that I won't have enough to eat if something unexpected happens in the future. What should I do... My parents' opinions have some merit, but I don't want to live a monotonous life every day.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, job search skills.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. As someone who once listened to their mother and took the civil service exam, but then quit after three years following their own advice, my suggestion to you is simple: do what you love and listen to yourself. Based on your description of the problem, I have outlined the following points for your reference: 1. \"Mother says\" vs \"I say\" \u2013 What does \"Mother says, Mother thinks\" mean to you? Parents' opinions have some merit, and we should respect them. From your mother's perspective, she believes she is not wrong. She doesn't want you, as a girl, to work too hard. She wants you to have a stable job and a worry-free life without setbacks. However, that is her expectation, her idea of what is good. What are your expectations? If your expectations are the same as your mother's, then there is no need to struggle. But if you expect a life that is free and not monotonous, that's different. 2. What can I do? What do I want to do? You were able to work at the court for two years, and you also mentioned wanting to be a lawyer. This shows that at least for the profession of a lawyer, you have confidence and ability. So at least you can do jobs related to that. What do you want to do? If you genuinely want to become a lawyer, then you will willingly put in a lot of effort and be willing to endure hardships for what you want to do. In this regard, everyone is the same. Everyone will put in a lot of effort for something they love and will persevere. We need to differentiate between work, occupation, and career. About work, occupation, and career, there is a fantastic interpretation by Professor Li Mengchao that I would like to share with you. \"Work is what you are currently doing, it brings you income, perhaps it is the work you have always wanted to do, or maybe just temporary part-time work; occupation is a career direction that includes many jobs, it may be something you want to do for a long time, or at least five to ten years; career is something you want to do in the long run, something you are prepared to devote your life to. You are willing to spend money, labor, and even sacrifice your life for this career. It's a lifelong commitment. When occupation, career, and work are combined, that is certainly happiness. However, not everyone has a combination of the three, some may need to work first before achieving their career.\" So you can examine yourself and have certain expectations for work, occupation, and career before planning. 3. Iron rice bowl and \"no food after unexpected events\" Due to the pandemic, those who are not employed by the government may indeed experience more anxiety because their income is not guaranteed. They may even worry about their livelihoods. However, if you were to visit Wuhan this June, you would find that people's lives are still going on. You cannot see the marks of disaster on their faces. Wuhan's hot dry noodles are still delicious, Wuhan people are still vibrant, and Wuhan's crayfish still have a lingering fragrance. Donghu Lake is still beautiful as ever. Life goes on. If there are difficulties, they can be overcome. In my opinion, this is the most beautiful aspect of being human. Iron rice bowls have their benefits, but they also have limitations. Everything has two sides. If you want an iron rice bowl, you have to sacrifice a certain degree of freedom. And if you want freedom, you have to sacrifice a certain degree of security. However, if a person has enough confidence and security within them, they will not be limited by any job. They should have the ability to support themselves in any situation and make their lives increasingly better. So, believe in your ability to do this as well. These are my answers. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can understand your conflicts and dilemmas. This problem may seem like a career choice on the surface, but fundamentally, it's about you not growing up. You still seek help from your parents and they still see you as a child who hasn't grown up, intervening in your decision-making. If you don't listen, your parents may become sad, nag, have a gloomy expression, get angry, and threaten you in various ways. Although you are 25 years old, psychologically breaking away from your parents, neither you nor your parents can live without each other. In the process of creating one's own world, separation is an eternal subject. There are three separations in a person's growth. The first separation is at birth, completing the physical separation from the mother. The second is around 6 months to 3 years old, when the baby gradually realizes that she and her mother are two separate individuals and wants to break free from the dependency on the mother. This period is also referred to as the \"separation-individuation\" stage by psychologist Margaret Mahler. The third separation is from the original family, from 3 years old to 18 years old or even longer. After completing this separation, a person can have a sense of self as a subject who can say, \"This is my world, and I have the final say,\" and better build their own world. If the separation from the original family is not completed, it is difficult to live with this sense of subjectivity. If the third separation is not completed, you will continue to encounter more similar difficulties in the future, such as choosing a partner, having children, and raising children. \"I think my parents' opinions have some validity\" shows that subconsciously you still rely on your parents and are using them as a shield because you want to separate but are afraid of hurting your parents. However, if you really want to make a decision about whether to become a civil servant or a lawyer, there are many authoritative and professional resources available. For example, you can ask on Zhihu, search for answers on the Deto app, or get to know more friends who are civil servants or lawyers, join lawyer groups, and their answers and advice will be much more authoritative than your parents'. \"But I don't want to live a monotonous life day after day\" shows that you still want to have a world where you have the final say. This is an instinct of human beings and a necessary way to live out your true self. My advice to you: If you still live with your parents, I suggest moving out or developing yourself elsewhere, making yourself stronger, and seeking solutions from more professional and authoritative sources. Make it clear or imply to your parents that you have grown up and have your own life. Parents can offer suggestions, but whether to adopt them is up to you. These suggestions may be difficult for you and your parents at first, but over time, your parents will have their own richer lives, and you will have a world where you have the final say.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I understand your current mood very well. You feel conflicted as you had planned for your future life, but reality shattered those plans. The feeling of helplessness comes from within, and that stubbornness in your heart has been worn down by your mother and sister. Based on the text, you should be from the 90s generation. You don't want to listen to their opinions, but you have a slight hesitation about your current state and future life. Indeed, society imposes various roles on women. For example, you are currently your mother's daughter, a court employee, someone's classmate, and in the future, you will be a mother, a wife, a daughter-in-law, and so on. Each additional role comes with responsibilities that require your time and energy. These roles will influence our life choices. I believe whether you choose to be a civil servant or a lawyer, you will excel. You can use strengths and weaknesses to consider what suits you best. For example, write down the strengths and weaknesses of being a civil servant and a lawyer on a piece of paper, then evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses, and consider which ones you can overcome and which ones you cannot. Whether you become a civil servant or a lawyer, you will continue to work in the public security, prosecution, judiciary, or law enforcement systems in the future. You have already spent two years in this system, so you should have some understanding. When making a choice, you should be clear. This is also a plan for your future life, and this profession may be lifelong. I believe that after careful consideration, you will have a new understanding and appreciation for your career development, and then you can boldly make your choice. I'm here, waiting for you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing the term \"contract worker,\" it should mean that you are not a regular employee, right? If you are outside of the regular employment system, I suggest trying to become a regular employee because the benefits will be much better. Although you are doing the same work as regular employees, your income will not be as high. If you want to stay in this job position for a long time, you need to pass an exam in order to achieve your desired income. Additionally, you mentioned that you enjoy freedom, but this depends on personal choice. People still need to work and earn money to support themselves, which is the main theme of life. No one can enjoy complete freedom every day. Any job, even freelance jobs like being a writer, has various unknown aspects to life. Therefore, you should understand the significance of work and life. It is impossible to desire complete freedom without working. Actually, you can choose a career that you enjoy, a job that you can control. In your spare time, you will have plenty of time to yourself. You can go traveling or engage in other activities. Achieving a balance between work and life, just like many people nowadays pursuing freelance work and side jobs, is what they aim for. When you can achieve a balance and face yourself, you will not feel miserable.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, it can be seen that you are torn between being a relaxed and independent lawyer and a less stressful government official job. From your description, it seems that you are well aware of the advantages and disadvantages of both. Your mother's perspective is that she hopes you can have a more stable job. Although she is not engaged in government work, being a government official is indeed considered a good job in the public eye. Furthermore, your mother mentioned that the current pandemic is severe and there are many viruses, so being a government employee is better. This point is not without basis, after all, the pandemic is spreading and many places are laying off employees, including lawyers. Being a government official is relatively more stable, and what your mother said about needing to put in a lot of effort to excel in a law firm is also not unreasonable. However, from your perspective, you want more freedom, to meet more people, and not to live a monotonous life every day. You don't want to be restricted. Indeed, this is your inner thoughts and also the thoughts of young people today. So now, in choosing between stability and freedom, I think if you really want to be a lawyer and have thought about the pros and cons but still truly want to be a lawyer, you can communicate more with your mother and express your thoughts regarding her concerns. I believe that in the end, your mother will support your ideas. If you are still uncertain, it may be because deep down you feel that what your mother said makes sense and your desire to be a lawyer isn't firmly established yet. In that case, I suggest you not rush to change jobs and wait until you have made up your mind. Actually, when you ask for advice on making a choice, your inner self already has an answer, you just want others to validate your choice. Follow your own heart. The above is solely my personal opinion, for reference only, and I hope it can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, cutie. I want to discuss this matter with you from a different perspective. In summary, what kind of conflict did you have with your mother? It seems that your mother wants you to have a job that can provide a stable and easy life, while you want a job that offers freedom in terms of time and a good working atmosphere. I guess your mother wants a job that is stable and does not require much effort. On the other hand, her own work or life might make her feel exhausted and stressed. To put it in trendy terms, she wants to \"lie down and win.\" She doesn't have the ability to live such a life herself, but as her imagined father figure, she hopes you can fulfill this dream for her. If you don't comply, it would mean her dream would be shattered. Of course, you are not obligated to fulfill her dreams. The biggest role of a mother for her child is to be an emotional container. Your mother wants you to understand and accept her viewpoint, just like she does. The more she needs these emotions, the more she lacks them. Finally, it's about herself. It's clear that your mom tends to nag and negate your opinions, and deep down, she knows very well how you would feel when she treats you this way. The emotions between you and her are mutually responsive. That's human nature. Furthermore, you see each other as father and mother figures in your own shoes. As someone who has worked in the public security system for five years, I can say that having free time is indeed difficult, but I honestly don't feel the strict hierarchy you mentioned. What I want to say is this: firstly, there are superiors and subordinates in any place, or in other words, there are rules everywhere. Secondly, the world is what you think it is. You believe that lawyers are great, free, and have simple social interactions, but let me tell you, being a lawyer is also extremely tiring and demanding, and working overtime is common. Social interactions are not easy either, as wherever there are people, there will be intrigue. Watch fewer TV dramas; they are all made for your entertainment. In other words, a lawyer, to you, is like an utopia that only exists in fantasies, not in reality. Of course, you can choose your job according to your own preferences, but I just suggest that you get a real understanding of this profession and be mentally prepared. After all, ideals are full, but reality is harsh. Lastly, I and this world love you, mwah!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If your mother has a low level of education, you can simply say, \"Your profession doesn't match, you can't apply, there are no spots available,\" and be done with it. If your mother is educated, it becomes more difficult. The best solution is to marry an open-minded husband and have an open-minded mother-in-law. Then, choose a job with a lot of free time and move away from home.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18570
       },
       {
        "question": "At 14 years old, in the past year, I have been thinking that my mom has paranoid delusions.",
        "description": "My mother often curses people on her QQ and even curses people in WeChat groups where all relatives and friends are present. She even says that our neighbors and many people on the upper floor want to harm her. I have argued with her many times, but no matter what I say, it's useless. She even curses mental health doctors.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, mental disorders, expression and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see that your mother has these inappropriate thoughts and is not aware of them. You feel very worried in your heart and hope that your mother will immediately understand her mistakes. I can sense your concern for your mother, but can you try not to argue with her in the future? The more you argue and negate her thoughts, the more it will provoke her resistance and feeling of being misunderstood, which will deepen her erroneous beliefs. Have you tried communicating with your father? Try to communicate with your mother together in a gentle and friendly manner to help her alleviate the tension and pressure in her mind, and then persuade her to seek timely medical treatment. Whether it is paranoid delusion requires diagnosis by a psychiatrist from a tertiary psychiatric hospital. Medication may be needed for treatment. These are just my suggestions, I hope they can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20911
       },
       {
        "question": "17-year-old girl, feeling very depressed in class, how to adjust her mindset?",
        "description": "I'm not good at speaking and I'm afraid of being criticized by others. Moreover, I have noticed that people tend to be happier in their replies if the other person is happy when talking. However, if the person I am chatting with is not happy, the replies also tend to be not very happy. But, I generally have a bad mood in class. How can I get along with others happily?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication, roommate, classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, emotions can be contagious. The phenomenon you observed, where if one person is happy, the other person will also be happy, might be the transmission of emotions. During conversation, the speaker can transfer their emotional state to the listener and influence them. However, when interacting with others, it's not limited to only having happy conversations. I believe it's wonderful to be able to honestly share your worries and concerns with someone, even if they are not happy things. Can you try finding someone you trust and honestly express your worries and feelings? Perhaps others can understand your feelings and provide encouragement and help. Your worries are just subjective assumptions and not facts. No one is naturally good at speaking, it can be learned. You can learn some interpersonal communication and conversation skills. What's more important is to apply what you've learned and have the courage to try and practice. With more learning and practice, your speaking abilities and communication skills will continue to improve. Sending you a hug, the world and I love you! (^_-)",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12381
       },
       {
        "question": "Lying in bed, there is a particularly chaotic jumble of images in my head, with an amplified sense of racing sounds.",
        "description": "What's going on? This is the second time it has happened. It only occurs when I am lying in bed with nothing to do. The images in my mind are unusually chaotic and appear in waves.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that the poster feels that they have random images appearing in their mind when lying in bed. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help the poster: (1) The poster mentioned that this is the second time these images have appeared in their mind. I wonder if the poster has noticed what these random images resemble and how they feel about it. Try describing these images and recording your own feelings. You can do some simple analysis on your own in your daily life. (2) Of course, the poster can also try to tell a counselor about these feelings, describing them more specifically. Perhaps they can help you better. #The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
            "start": 7,
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           },
           {
            "start": 25,
            "end": 45,
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           },
           {
            "start": 45,
            "end": 66,
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           },
           {
            "start": 66,
            "end": 128,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 128,
            "end": 171,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 171,
            "end": 218,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 218,
            "end": 227,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8373
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm afraid of thunder myself, how should I communicate with my mom about it?",
        "description": "I am afraid of thunder and lightning, and I want to tell my mom, but my mom says, \"What is there to be afraid of? What's so scary?\" But I am really scared, how should I talk to my mom about it?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, guilt, shame, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I saw your question about \"how to communicate with your mom.\" I think you don't want to just tell your mom \"I'm afraid of thunderstorms,\" but you hope to get some kind of response from her after sharing your feelings. You said, \"But my mom says what is there to be afraid of, why be scared.\" I feel that when you tell your mom \"I get very scared when there's thunder,\" your feelings are invalidated by her response. It's as if her response is saying \"There's no need to be afraid of thunder; there's nothing to be scared of.\" This can make you feel like you're offering something to your mom (your feelings) and hoping she can receive it and discuss it with you (communicate). However, your mom says, \"There's nothing there (nothing to be afraid of), nothing to discuss.\" It's as if in your mom's eyes, your fear shouldn't exist, let alone be discussed. I think perhaps this is why you feel like you can't communicate with your mom. I don't know how you feel about this. As for how to communicate with your mom, it may also depend on your mom's state and trying to communicate with her in a way she can easily understand. Your mom thinks there's no need to be scared of thunder, but you can still insist that thunder scares you. Maybe you can say something like this: \"Mom, for you, thunder is nothing to be afraid of, it's not a big deal. But for me, thunder makes me feel very scared. I don't know if talking about it this way will make it easier for my mom to hear my feelings and start communicating with me, but if you're willing, maybe you can try and see if there's any change.\"",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           },
           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 69,
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           },
           {
            "start": 90,
            "end": 237,
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           },
           {
            "start": 237,
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           },
           {
            "start": 350,
            "end": 435,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 435,
            "end": 489,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "What do you actually want your mom to respond to? When your mom says \"don't be afraid,\" it means \"child, there's really nothing to be afraid of when there's thunder and lightning.\" So, I'm curious, what else do you want to say to your mom? Do you want to tell her why you're afraid? Why are you afraid? It might be the stimulation of the sound and light that makes our heart rate speed up, which is anxiety. We might think that's fear. It could also be the negative impressions left in our subconscious by TV dramas. Who knows? To overcome fear, you can close the curtains, wear headphones to watch your favorite shows, listen to your favorite music, or meditate to calm down and fall asleep. After a period of time, when thunder and lightning no longer make you anxious, the information you receive will change, and you'll realize that thunder and lightning are nothing to be afraid of.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I saw your question, I couldn't help but laugh because I am also afraid of thunder. I've been afraid since I was little, and even now, in my fifties, I'm still scared. I guess there are more than just the two of us who are scared of thunder. I'm curious, why can't you tell your mother that you're afraid of thunder? Are you worried about something? Are there some things in your life that you can't talk to your mother about? If so, what kind of things are they? What kind of impact would it have on you if you do or don't talk about these things? I guess deep down inside, you may have a hope that after you tell your mother about your fear of thunder, she won't need to explain or say much, just respond with \"thunder is indeed scary.\" Am I right? I apologize for responding to your question with more questions. I don't know if this series of questions will help you find the answer to your problem. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9536
       },
       {
        "question": "Want to go home but dare not ask for leave, is the whole life so agonizing?",
        "description": "I really want to go home but I dare not take leave. I feel so conflicted. I have realized that my whole life is like this, full of uncertainty.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, student growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello!~~~~ Are you hesitant to request leave because you're afraid it will affect your studies and work? Or are you afraid that your parents will blame you for taking leave to go home? What exactly are you struggling with? You need to identify the root of your dilemma in order to find a solution. The information you've provided is limited, so I can only offer this advice. I hope my response can help you. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3170
       },
       {
        "question": "There is a sister who likes to criticize me, how to deal with the disgust of having such a sister?",
        "description": "My older sister is a very sarcastic person. She always likes to criticize and belittle me in every aspect, to show that she is superior and more excellent than me. In the past, she said that I would be disliked by others when I got married. Now that I am married, she still tells my husband that I am messy and have body odor. She even says that we have the same mother, but she doesn't have these problems. I really dislike having such a sister who always compares me unfavorably in every aspect, likes to elevate herself, and keeps pointing out my flaws in a condescending manner. I really want to completely cut ties with her and never have any contact with her until the end of our lives.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, I can sense your frustration. Your sister's behavior and words have been affecting your mood negatively. However, because she is your sister, you are unsure of how to express your discontent appropriately. My best friend also has a similar issue with her childhood friend. He constantly says things that make her unhappy, thinking that he knows her well just because they are childhood friends. He often criticizes her behavior. Although my friend is very angry, she doesn't want to ruin their relationship and thus has chosen to make her boundaries and thoughts clear to her childhood friend. When facing words and actions that make her uncomfortable, she will tell him directly, hoping that it won't happen again. At the same time, she also finds an appropriate time to privately communicate with her childhood friend, asking why he says those things and does those actions, trying to understand his thoughts and attitudes. This approach can help her make better decisions on how to resolve the issue. I don't know if your sister is generally \"sarcastic\" with everyone, but if her personality is like that, I think as her younger sister, you still need to point out this problem to her. After all, it makes everyone around her feel unpleasant. However, before addressing this issue, it's important to control your emotions and not let negative feelings escalate. You can also talk to your parents, as communication among family members might be more effective. On the other hand, regarding the impact on you, be careful not to let your sister's words affect your judgment. Next time you face such a situation, you can try to distance yourself from the environment where you spend time with your sister. When she says things that are untrue, you can try to back up your statements with facts to make her \"shut up.\" Although family members are closer, there are still boundaries that need to be respected. You don't have to keep giving in, and I hope you won't have to ruin your relationship. I hope you can find a suitable way to resolve the issue.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm sorry to hear that you have such a sister. Let me tell you a secret, your sister belittles you to elevate herself, but it's actually because she is jealous and lacks confidence. You can observe this. For example, at home, she may say that you have a body odor, but see if your parents pay more attention to you and treat you better (even if it may not be true, in your sister's eyes, she might feel that your parents care more about you and see herself as unwelcome). Once you truly understand your sister's internal thoughts, I believe you won't be too bothered by her words, but instead, you may feel sympathetic towards her. Additionally, when she says these things, you can respond to her by saying, \"Yes, you're right, that's exactly how I am,\" or \"I am just a different sister from you, but isn't it normal for people to be different?\" Slowly try not to respond emotionally, and she will find it uninteresting and stop saying it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There is such a troublesome older sister, and it is difficult to completely avoid dealing with her. However, there are some response techniques that may be helpful for you: \u2460 You don't need to justify or try to prove that you are not what your sister says you are. Also, try not to show that you are very angry. The more obvious your reaction, the more she will feel \"successful.\" \u2461 When she talks about you, face her with seriousness and coldness, and say firmly, \"Sister, I don't like this kind of joke.\" After saying it, continue to face her with a serious expression, making the atmosphere awkward. \u2462 Alternatively, you can face her with seriousness and coldness, and go along with what your sister says. For example, if she says you are messy and smelly, you can say with a serious expression, \"Yes, I am just a dirty commoner, unlike my sister who is a fragrant fairy. Even if I don't take a shower for 10 years, I still smell great.\" \u2463 If you do as mentioned above, your sister will find herself in an awkward situation and may say that you are \"petty and can't take a joke.\" Don't back down or be afraid of being called that, and don't be afraid of the awkwardness because she is the one feeling awkward. You can simply respond, \"Yes, sister, I am petty and can't take a joke, so please don't make jokes like this with me in the future.\" (Attach a smiling face.jpg) Let your sister know your boundaries and feel that there are limits with you, so she won't dare to easily offend you anymore.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17967
       },
       {
        "question": "I am in my third year of graduate school, and she is in her second year. I am feeling very upset because I have been rejected by a girl I was pursuing. What should I do?",
        "description": "I posted a personal ad on a WeChat official account, and she added me. She knew my basic information (including income, education, family conditions, personality, hobbies, and photos). I'm currently in my third year of graduate school, and she's in her second year. She said she found me attractive and that people in the scientific research field are pure, so she reached out to me. Since school hasn't started yet, I went to her hometown to visit her for two days a few days ago. The first day was fine, she shared trivial matters in her life (parents, relatives, friends), future career plans, attitude towards marriage, and there was some physical contact. But for some reason, she changed on the second day. She kept looking down at her phone, avoided eye contact with me, and rushed to go home, saying she didn't have time to spend with me. I felt uncomfortable, so when I came back, I questioned whether she couldn't forget her ex-girlfriend or if there was something wrong with me, and accused her of neglecting me. She said I could be a good senior or friend, but she felt something was off, and said maybe it's her own problem, and suggested focusing on graduating and finding a job first. I don't know what to do now. One detail is that on the second day, when we talked about her ex-boyfriend, I suddenly started to cry...",
        "keywords": "Love, attachment, sense of security, fondness",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, author, sending you a warm hug (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) you have been rejected by a girl and feel very sad about it, (2) you want to know what to do next. Here's my analysis and advice, hoping to help you: (1) First, it can be seen that the girl actually has feelings for you, otherwise she wouldn't chat so openly with you and even meet up with you. So don't feel like it's your fault and don't feel defeated. (2) Secondly, why did the girl avoid you the next day and even cry when talking about her ex-boyfriend? It's probably because she still can't forget her ex and may still love him. You may have some similar qualities to her ex, so some of your actions may have triggered her memories. She chose to give up and not continue with you because she doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes or evoke memories. (3) Finally, since you can still be friends now, you can be friends for a while. If you really like her, you can take it slow. Give her some time, maybe she needs time to realize that you are not her ex. #The world and I love you, take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22124
       },
       {
        "question": "Parents being too accomplished can lead to children feeling inadequate, what should be done?",
        "description": "My parents are college graduates, but my grades are mediocre. I often don't do things as well as my parents do, and I get criticized for being so stupid when I make even the slightest mistake. I have also tried to catch up with my parents and become an equally outstanding person, but I have to admit that I am really not that smart. I always feel inferior when I am with my parents, like I am embarrassing them. Am I unworthy of being their child?",
        "keywords": "Family, parental communication, and the process of growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "High intelligence may be the most shining aspect of your parents? However, you have come to this family not to inherit it. The parents (genes) provide the child with a library, and the child only needs to select a portion of the materials from this library to build what they need. Sometimes, they may not choose the most \"valuable\" parts in the library. The reason why \"value\" needs to be in quotation marks is because value is a judgment, and judgments have standards that can change. For example, suppose the parents of the author are both university graduates but have average physical attributes (this is a assumption). If the author combines a less intelligent but robust physique from the library provided by their parents, it may seem like a \"decline\" in an era where intelligence is widely used, but in an era where physical strength determines the quality of life, it could be considered as \"evolution\". The author's parents \"are often criticized for being stupid\" and seem to be unaware that the child is not their private possession, but rather an obligation they owe to the world. They should provide an environment suitable for the characteristics of this individual that came from them, which shows they may be intelligent, but not necessarily wise? The author does not need to take their parents' evaluations as definitive. If a family is like a plant, then the child is like the seed of this plant. Strictly speaking, the seed is not part of the plant. In order to fulfill itself, it must leave the mother plant, go to a new land, and grow into a new plant on its own.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#You are already their child, there is no question of whether you deserve it or not. The only question is how to communicate and get along with them. #Often, there are many things that you don't do as well as your parents, and even a slight mistake will be criticized for being so dumb. #People are inherently different, and your learning ability is closely related to your family environment. When you say this sentence, you assume that your parents know how to educate children and then draw this conclusion. But many parents themselves have graduated from prestigious schools, but it does not mean that they know how to educate their children in the current environment; now the methods of educating children are much more complex than before, requiring not only time, but also methods, an understanding of the different needs of children at different stages, and an understanding of the domestic education system, assisting children in analyzing the educational environment, and choosing the most suitable plan. Just sending them to prestigious schools is not enough. #I have also tried to catch up with my parents and become an outstanding person like them. #The current environment is completely different from the environment they were in, and the opportunities are also different, so it's not comparable. The same opportunities you have now are harder to obtain than the opportunities your parents had at that time, and they also require advance planning. #I always feel inferior when I'm with my parents, and I feel embarrassed in front of them. #If you are comparing yourself to your parents, ignoring the objective environment, this kind of comparison is one-dimensional and cannot explain anything. Are you ignoring the objective fact that they may not know how to educate their children? Moreover, regardless, they definitely haven't given up on you, they just don't know how to communicate with you, don't know what to do. That's why you have such feelings. Have you ever tried telling them how you feel? If you need help, you can private message me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If highly educated parents (for now let's assume they are your parents) were to have children, they would definitely be better or stable at the same level as their parents. But the society we live in now is not like that (perhaps it has long ceased to exist). This thought is a hypothetical assumption with a sense of entitlement. I wonder if this can be comforting to you? Maybe it can, and you can sigh with relief. You have the right not to be like them. Furthermore, you can have a life without comparison, especially with your parents who grew up in a completely different era. Maybe it can't, and you think to yourself, \"I really can't make it.\" Because deep down, you have expectations for yourself that are different from the present. I hope that your expectations for yourself come from you, not as someone's child. By the way, if my child were to think, \"I don't deserve to be my parents' child\", I might feel that it is I who don't deserve to be their parent.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1624
       },
       {
        "question": "At the age of 20, I have wasted my life due to laziness. What should I do next?",
        "description": "From a young age, I have been lazy, lazy to think and dislike reading. I had poor grades in middle school, which led to low self-esteem and social anxiety. However, I am afraid and incapable of taking action to change. Now, I feel useless both physically and in character. I am unable to express myself clearly. The autumn recruitment for senior year has already started, but I am not prepared for anything, and I am feeling anxious. What's even more important is that I don't know what kind of life and job I want. I have no hobbies and no opinions on many things. I don't even know who I am. Gradually, I have become numb. I chose a major in college casually, which has led to the possibility of unemployment after graduation. I feel like I have no expectations in my life anymore. I have never been in a relationship, and I don't want to establish any connection with anyone. I don't know how to love others, and I don't know how to love myself. At 20 years old, it seems like there is a promising future ahead, but at the same time, it feels like I can see the end at a glance. I don't know how to navigate my future life. It's exhausting.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing the question asked by the OP, it felt like I was looking at myself from last year. During campus recruitment, I felt unprepared and was unsure about what I wanted for the future, feeling very lost. The OP has three questions: 1. Uncertain about what they want, lacking life goals and hobbies. 2. Feeling worthless and fearful of campus recruitment. 3. Not knowing how to love themselves. Not knowing what they want can be discovered through trying new things. Our lives and goals are not just magically conjured while sitting alone in a room. They are found through constant exploration, reading various books, talking to different people, and doing various things. Some people may find their goals quickly and have a clear direction from a young age. Others may find it later in life. So don't feel distressed by not having something specific to do at the moment. Goals can be gradually found, and hobbies can be developed over time. For now, we need to find a job that can support ourselves and continue learning and gaining experience along the way, slowly adjusting our lives. Of course, we can also choose to pursue further education. There are many paths for us to take. Feeling worthless, in fact, each of us has our own characteristics and things we are good at. I believe there are no worthless people in the world, it's just that we haven't discovered our strengths yet. How can we discover our strengths? We can seek help from people around us and ask them what kind of person they think we are. Sometimes, we can't see our own strengths, but others might notice them. Recall some past achievements that gave us a sense of accomplishment and think about what we did at that time and what abilities we demonstrated. Don't say that there are no such things, there definitely are, we just have hidden them too deeply. The fear of campus recruitment is actually my personal feeling, it could also be my personal projection. Because that's how I felt back then. I felt that I had no competitiveness, no company would hire me, and I was afraid of rejection, so I didn't even want to submit my resume. However, we can change our perspective. Employment is a mutual decision, if we are rejected, it's because we currently can't meet their requirements. So, it's also an opportunity for us to evaluate what we are lacking and gradually improve ourselves. Do you remember my advice for the first question? Try more things. Only by trying more, can we better understand the world, broaden our thinking, and broaden our horizons, gradually growing in the process. Don't be afraid, we still have time to prepare. Research the company, understand the skills required by the position, look for recruitment experiences, and keep networking. We will find a job. Regarding how to love oneself, I'm sorry, I can't answer that because I haven't learned to love myself yet either. But I am in the process of gradually accepting myself. I think to love oneself, we must first accept ourselves. Only by accepting ourselves can we truly understand what we want and avoid forcing ourselves. Finally, I want to give the OP a hug and hope they can feel some warmth. I also want to thank the OP, as it reminded me of the past and allowed me to provide some answers for myself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, it's not too late to make efforts now. Maybe you don't have a direction at the moment, maybe you feel that your abilities are not enough, and you may even find life difficult. But as long as you are willing to work hard, everything is possible. Perhaps for now, you can first find a job that you are relatively interested in, give it a try, learn and develop in-depth. You may gradually find yourself liking this job more and more; but if later on you don't really like this job, it's okay too. Maybe you can pay attention to opportunities in life, and try to seize them. Opportunities are everywhere in life, as long as you are willing to work hard and be attentive, you will definitely be able to seize an opportunity that belongs to you. In life, you may also need to communicate more with others, talk to your parents at home, actively chat with classmates at school, and invite classmates to participate in activities together, etc. I hope you can believe in yourself, it's not too late now, as long as you are willing to focus and not sink into despair, there is still a long time ahead for you to explore. Keep going! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13119
       },
       {
        "question": "How to deal with the problem of being unable to control a masturbation addiction and not being able to change it even if there are physical problems?",
        "description": "\"I am addicted to watching pornography and masturbating. Every time I masturbate multiple times in a row. I have already developed erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, but I still can't control myself from watching porn and masturbating. I have experienced many physical symptoms, including kidney deficiency. But I just can't quit. What should I do?\"",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, and sexual desires.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you a big hug. Engaging in moderate physical activity can help release energy and promote a healthier and happier lifestyle. It is best to avoid watching adult content, as it often promotes incorrect values and unhealthy sexual behavior, which can have a negative impact on one's personality. Hope this advice helps you overcome some minor troubles. Wishing you a joyful life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7048
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is it necessary to have a good mental preparation from the beginning in doing things?",
        "description": "Why is it important to have the right mental preparation from the beginning? It feels like if we don't start off well, it will be difficult to make adjustments later and we may easily get stuck.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, developmental patterns, work, and learning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm trying to provide some references from the perspective of the knowledge I have learned. From the topic and description you provided, I can see that you are actually asking about the issues related to security and positioning. This can be explained from the perspective of human evolution. Primitive humans lived by hunting in the forests, and in the vast sea of \u200b\u200bforests, they needed to make preparations for positioning in order to hunt accurately. At the same time, having a clear position in mind can also protect oneself and be prepared to fight or flee when encountering fierce animals. Over the years, this part of the gene has been passed down from generation to generation in human development. That's why I said the problem you described is about positioning and security. In addition, our modern human brain has evolved. Apart from needing a sense of security and positioning at the beginning to do things more steadily, we also have the advanced abilities of thinking, judgment, and learning in our brains. At the same time, we also have the ability to be flexible and adapt. So, is it true that \"if things are not done well from the beginning, it will be difficult to adjust properly later and easy to stagnate\", as you mentioned? Is everything like this? Then we would often be trapped. Because no matter how meticulous the plan is, it can never keep up with changes. The only thing that remains unchanged in this world is \"change\". Therefore, when dealing with things, we should focus on the results, persist when it is effective, change when it is ineffective, and persist while being flexible and flexible while being persistent.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 454
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I consider the issue of salary when helping my boyfriend's father with his company?",
        "description": "It has been five years with him, but we haven't gotten engaged. His business failed, so he and his father started working at a construction site, and I joined them too to help out. It's been about two months now, but we don't have any income. I help out with some administrative tasks at his father's company, and his father always assigns them to him, even though he knows that I'm the one doing them. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, and it's been two months and I haven't earned a penny, but he treats me well. Occasionally, he takes me out to eat or buy shoes. But I don't have the freedom to spend money, and I hesitate whenever I want to buy something. Even though we have some savings, I still feel anxious deep down. Despite many people saying that I'm just helping out his father with our own business, why do I feel like I'm begging to do these things on my own? This feeling of being down and helpless, with no income, is really uncomfortable. I'm thinking about going back to my mom's and finding a job there... maybe things will be better.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You help your boyfriend's father's company but do not receive any salary. (2) You feel very upset and are hesitant about whether to return to your mother to work. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: (1) First of all, it is important for you to receive a salary when working for any company. Since you and your boyfriend are not yet married and are only boyfriend and girlfriend, you have a coworker relationship within the company. Therefore, if you help with these tasks, you should receive compensation consciously. Even if not, your boyfriend should think of taking you out to eat or buy clothes, as this is a normal thing. (2) Secondly, you are already feeling sad and aggrieved in this situation, which clearly shows that you are uncomfortable in this kind of relationship. We should never compromise ourselves in any relationship, don't you think so? So, if you put in labor, it is important to stand up for your rights. Of course, since the other person is your boyfriend, you can express your thoughts in a way that belongs to both of you, let him know, and see his reaction. (3) Finally, since you are helping both elderly parents, I suggest you consider going back to help your mother. This way, not only will you receive a salary, but you will also feel happy. Of course, this may mean being in a long-distance relationship with your boyfriend, but you can discuss and find a solution together. Communication can solve 80% of problems, so don't be stuck and upset by yourself! #The world loves you and I love you, wishing you all the best~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know much about this, but I have a few questions. First, did his dad start paying your boyfriend a salary? And why is his dad assigning tasks to your boyfriend instead of directly to you? Are you really sure his dad knows that you are the one doing all the work? Are you helping your boyfriend or your father-in-law? Lastly, does he know about your financial situation? If it were me, I wouldn't do this kind of work for free because I have to support myself. If you are financially well-off, maybe he didn't think about it, and you can bring up the point that your concern is not about the salary, but the inequality. It feels like you have to rely on each other unequally, and you are not engaged, so there is no sense of security. I have only heard of fianc\u00e9es helping their father-in-law's company, not boyfriends helping each other. It's possible that his dad wanted to train him, and then you stepped in. Do you not have your own goals or plans for your career? The above is only my personal opinion and is for reference only.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19836
       },
       {
        "question": "A 21-year-old woman in her junior year is about to start an internship. How can she change her straightforward personality?",
        "description": "I am a 21-year-old female, a senior in college, and about to start an internship. I am a sensitive person who is not afraid to express my emotions, especially towards people I like. I show my admiration for them clearly. However, the same goes for people I don't like - my dislike is evident, and this kind of personality often leads me to offend others easily. Many people advise me to change my character because it can create many problems in social and work environments. They say it is not suitable for surviving in society. So, how can I hide my emotions towards others?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, empathy, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. First, sending you a warm hug. I'm a female student in my third year and will soon start my internship. How can I change my straightforward personality? I am sensitive, expressive with my emotions, and when I like someone, I openly express my appreciation for them. Conversely, when I dislike someone, it's evident. How can I hide my emotions from others? Being straightforward can easily offend people in everyday life. Why? In fact, try putting yourself in someone else's shoes. If someone directly points out your flaws and shortcomings, you would definitely feel embarrassed or even upset because nobody likes to hear negative comments. Everyone prefers to hear words of praise. Thinking from another person's perspective makes it easier to understand. I used to believe that if I like or dislike someone, I should express it directly without hiding anything. However, later I realized that this approach could hurt others. Another reason is not wanting to see others' fake side and wanting to point it out directly. This can also easily offend people. It's better to keep a mental note of others' true nature without having to say it out loud. Speaking out may only be detrimental to oneself. If you still want to be straightforward or struggle to hide your emotions, you can try counting down from 10 to calm yourself down. Think about the consequences of your words and then decide whether or not to say them. I hope this helps you and wish you a great day, OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If possible, start by making small changes and gradually progress. For example, try not to express your opinions about people you don't like or reduce the aggression in your language. If that's not enough, focus on playing to your strengths and avoiding your weaknesses. Find a job that suits your personality and try to stay within your own circle at work, avoiding people you dislike.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19992
       },
       {
        "question": "Yes, it's all my fault. Will the world be better off if I die?",
        "description": "Yes, yes, yes, it's my fault, it's all my fault. If I die, the world would be better.",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can feel the OP's inner repression of emotions and despair. I'm curious about what led the OP to have such cognitive thinking and thoughts. What makes the OP believe that their \"destructive power\" is so great that one person can \"destroy\" the peace and tranquility of the entire world, making the world so \"bad\" that only when the OP dies will it become \"good\" again? The OP says it's all their fault, so what mistakes has the OP made? If it's something terribly wrong, at the very least, they should face legal repercussions and take responsibility. But the fact that the OP is posting for help here means that maybe their actions aren't that \"wrong,\" right? Defining their behavior as right or wrong shows that the OP has a strong sense of moral conscience, seeks perfection, and rejects and denies themselves. Since the OP doesn't believe in accepting and approving themselves, where do these \"right or wrong\" standards come from? Are they set by the OP themselves or by others? If they are set by the OP themselves, why is the OP so hard on themselves, and what do they gain from doing so? If they are set by others, why doesn't the OP refuse to accept them and instead suppress and endure, and what do they gain from doing so? Others cannot see or hear the inner suppression of emotions, which causes a great deal of pressure on the mind and makes one physically and mentally exhausted. Not being understood, accepted, or approved by others only adds to the suffering and distress. It may be worth trying not to force themselves to suppress their thoughts and feelings, to express these thoughts and feelings, to release and alleviate the pressure within, and to give others the opportunity to understand them while also learning about others' thoughts and feelings. Only then can there be enough understanding, acceptance, and approval between each other, and only then can a stable and harmonious intimate relationship be established, allowing for an easier, natural, and joyful approach to life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, can you please tell me what happened? Why do you feel like everything is your fault? I believe that many things in this world are often caused by multiple factors, such as environmental influences, coincidences, personal strength, and the influence of others, etc. Whatever you're talking about, I firmly believe that it is definitely not solely your fault. You need to believe in this yourself and forgive yourself. Because each of us is capable of making mistakes, it is inevitable. Even if you make a mistake, you should not be too hard on yourself. You said that if you die, the world will be better, but I don't believe that. The birth of every life requires the efforts and contributions of many people. Similarly, when someone leaves this world, it often leaves behind a lot of sadness and regrets. If you were to die, your family, friends, the people you love, and those who love you would all be devastated and it would take them a long time to recover from the grief. At least, their world wouldn't become better at all, it would only become worse. If you want this world to be better, then live your life well and bring more beauty to this world with your warmth. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17609
       },
       {
        "question": "Not knowing the meaning of life, not knowing what people live for, don't know?",
        "description": "I have no motivation for life and don't know why I am alive. I am 16 years old this year.",
        "keywords": "Growth, developmental laws, self-acceptance, life meaning",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You are only 16 years old, it's really rare for you to start thinking about the meaning of life at such a young age, so I want to give you a thumbs-up. Your self-awareness is rapidly developing, you have just started to come into contact with society and understand the world. Your current life mainly revolves around studying, the people you interact with are mostly friends, classmates, and teachers around your parents, and the world you often see is mainly the things around you. In this limited environment, you may think that this is all there is to life, and you may feel that life is monotonous, boring, and meaningless. But actually, this is not the end, the world outside is much bigger than what you see, and there are many things to experience ahead. This requires you to grow while experiencing and exploring. In this process of growth, we will inevitably experience confusion and questioning, and we will be curious about life, existence, and the world. This process of seeking answers is our search for identity. People in late adolescence often have strong curiosity and questions about themselves, form a certain understanding of their self-worth and social roles, and pursue the integration of self and identity. When you understand the meaning of this world and life, clarify your values and beliefs, and have a clear idea of what kind of person you want to become in the future, you will form a unique and stable self-identity. Pay more attention to the outside world, understand the wonders of the world, broaden your horizons; get to know more friends and expand your social circle; try and experience different activities, find joy in life and discover your interests and hobbies. Also, study hard and improve your skills and academic level, so that you will have the capital and opportunities to go further, see more, and discover the meaning of life. At 16, the magnificent drama of life is just beginning, don't rush to give yourself a conclusion or write an ending. No one can give you definite answers right now, the answers in your heart still need to be sought. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I have important information to share. Everyone has the power to give meaning to their own life. If you want more joy in life, embrace happiness. If you want more vitality, make your life more vibrant. Some people believe that they are powerless to change the world, but we all have the ability to make a difference. If we pity ourselves, the world will become a little more pessimistic. If we show kindness to others, the world will become a little kinder. From the moment we are born, we begin the journey of discovering our true selves. Our true selves will guide us towards the life we desire. For example, someone who yearns for beauty will constantly seek it through engaging in artistic or aesthetic work. Someone who craves challenges will seek out uncertain or competitive endeavors to fulfill their true self. Living is a way of respecting life. When life is respected, its true meaning will be defined by our true selves.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7098
       },
       {
        "question": "I spoke to my boyfriend about whether or not we should have sexual relations before marriage, and my mom said I have no shame?",
        "description": "We just discussed the value and significance of this existence, and whether it is necessary. I don't know how shameless I can be, I'm very upset. How could she say that?",
        "keywords": "Family, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the questioner tightly through the screen!!! I also have a mother who has the exact same mindset as the questioner in this aspect!!! First of all, we need to understand a big premise - this kind of thinking from mothers stems from \"motherly love\". In their generation, they have seen a lot of cases where girls became unwed mothers or married because of pregnancy, and they think that these girls lack self-respect and are wasting their lives. They are afraid that we will repeat the mistakes of those so-called \"undignified women\" and accidentally ruin our lives. When they call us \"shameless,\" it's also just an angry outburst, don't take it to heart too much, sister!! After all, there's a generation gap, and their perspectives are definitely much more conservative than ours as young people today. It's basically impossible to make them change this kind of mindset if they are not open-minded parents. My mom is like this too, the more I talk to her, the less she takes me seriously, and if I make her angry, she even says things like \"just pretend you don't have a mom like me.\" Questioner, remember me as a negative example, don't force her to change her perspective, otherwise the conflicts could escalate. Whether or not to have premarital sex ultimately belongs to one's own private matters. It's already 2020! We have the right to enjoy sexual freedom equally - for girls, there's only one requirement: make sure to take safety precautions!!! Don't believe in the safety period method, don't believe in the nonsense about men ejaculating outside, and don't casually take contraception pills that can harm your body! - That's what true \"self-respect\" means in modern society. Marriage and love are two different things, and harmonious sexual life is also an important element in maintaining the balance of love and marriage. We're adults now, and making love out of love is a beautiful thing, so there's no need to bear too much psychological burden. As for the conservative views of the older generation, \"follow them verbally\" is the best solution, and \"in actions, do what you think is right\" - this is the private life of an adult, there's no need to announce it to others, not even parents have the right to pry into it - - Provided that you can protect yourself - - so, sister, when your mother says something like that, it's just her heartfelt words out of love and anxiety. The next time she brings it up, just say, \"Yes, I understand, I will.\" Going along with her line of thinking will reduce a lot of arguments, and it's enough to do things that you think are correct and won't regret. Sincerely wishing you, sister, can take care of your heart!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. It's normal to have differences and disagreements, but simply judging right and wrong will narrow your thinking. From your description, it can be seen that you are surprised and angry at your mother's attitude towards premarital sex and don't understand why she would scold you for being shameless. However, when you calm down, you may realize that the difference between you is not just about different views on this matter. Your birth era, upbringing, and inner thoughts are all different. Maybe in your perception, discussing this topic is necessary and helps to understand marriage and sexual relationships. However, for your mother, openly discussing sexual behavior comes with a strong sense of shame. She may feel it's indecent and not something that should be talked about, at least not openly. Your mother has conservative views and thoughts that are shaped by the times, her personal experiences, and her values, just as you may find it difficult to understand the thoughts of the post-2000s and post-2005s generations and find it all very strange. Seeing the differences may bring more understanding. Your mother scolding you is not a reflection of your personal worthiness, and she might not be able to accept anyone discussing these topics. If you think you can change your mother's thoughts, you can express your own thoughts to her and she might find a different way to approach the matter. However, in reality, the most likely situation is that we cannot change our parents' conservative and stubborn thoughts. We can only change ourselves or choose to \"let it go\" and handle things according to our own beliefs, without being influenced by them. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ For our parents, their beliefs are still stuck in the last century. They believe that discussions about sexual knowledge and premarital sex are immoral and should not be happening. Mom's overreaction is a result of the clash between generations' views on sexuality, not because discussing it is shameful. It's difficult to change Mom's long-held beliefs, and it's also hard to make her understand your views and actions. So, the first thing you need to do is to clarify that discussing premarital topics is a normal behavior, not something to be ashamed of. Secondly, don't try to change your parents' thoughts, and don't let their thoughts and actions affect you. Try your best to avoid this issue when you're around them. Mom's beliefs have deepened over the years, and it's not worth wasting your energy on something that won't change. Lastly, balance the differences between your own beliefs about sexuality or other aspects and your parents' views. Approach their views with an understanding attitude, and don't get too caught up in whether your opinions align. As long as you're not making major mistakes, both of you can hold onto your own thoughts! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "*Hello! I hope I can help you! First of all, I can understand that you are feeling distressed. We need to be clear that a mother is the person who loves us the most in the world, there is no one else. This love comes from a kind of love (maternal love) and maternal love is great! Secondly, it is important to understand what you want. Mothers come from a different era with their own thoughts. We need to communicate patiently with our parents to avoid unnecessary conflicts. Ultimately, it all stems from a mother's love for us, right? Of course, it is crucial to take necessary precautions before getting married! Next time, try not to argue with your parents, just respond with a positive \"yes\". You can decide for yourself what you want to do after that. But it is always best to choose self-respect. Keep going! I hope you become happier and happier!!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12277
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling very frustrated, becoming more and more unhappy after changing jobs?",
        "description": "After changing jobs, I became increasingly unhappy. At first, I was forced to switch jobs, and later I found myself working with a group of colleagues who are older and have higher positions than me. I feel very inferior at work, as we don't have much in common and I have to endure it. I feel like I am less important than others, and I have very few friends around me. Even they are all focused on their own lives, I can no longer receive warmth and comfort. I find life very dull and difficult to bear, and I feel hopeless.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, workplace interpersonal relationships, work exhaustion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, I can sense that you are not very happy right now. Being forced to change jobs and struggling to adapt to the new environment has had an impact on your overall well-being. You are feeling frustrated, disappointed, and even experiencing low self-esteem. I completely understand how you feel and can see the distress you are going through. One of your concerns is being forced to change jobs. I am not sure what kind of organization you work for, but being \"forced\" into this situation must not have been your choice. It would be helpful to consider the reasons behind this decision and the intentions of your superiors. We need to approach the matter of job transfer based on the actual circumstances. Perhaps they are hoping that you will gain more work experience in the new position, which could lead to other benefits. Another concern you have is feeling inferior. This experience stems from comparing yourself to your new colleagues. You perceive them to have a higher status and more experience due to their age and position. The characteristics of these colleagues are that they are experienced professionals but lack the warmth and enthusiasm of younger individuals. This might make you feel suppressed and unsupported, as if you are not recognized or cared for. However, it is important to remember that you are not on the same starting line as these older colleagues and thus there is no need for comparison. As a new member of the team, it is beneficial to humble yourself and learn from those with more experience and expertise. Embrace this opportunity to accumulate your own professional skills and knowledge. Moreover, shifting your focus to learning from them can help alleviate the pressure and allow you to develop positive relationships. Lastly, you mentioned feeling lonely and having a dull life without friends. Within the workplace, try connecting with colleagues who are relatively easy-going, engage in conversations, seek advice on work matters, and naturally the relationship will improve. It is also possible to establish friendships outside of work with people of similar age, which can help alleviate work-related stress and add more joy to your life. In your career, every effort you make adds to your repertoire. Every difficult situation is an opportunity. Sometimes our worries arise from being unable to detach ourselves from the situation and view it objectively. This can result in being trapped within our own thoughts and becoming more frustrated. However, what we can do is consider our goals and prioritize accordingly at each stage. By focusing on the main objectives and gradually addressing the secondary aspects, we create opportunities for turning things around and achieving success.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand how you feel, sending you a hug~ I can imagine the situation you're in at work, and it can truly be a place lacking warmth, making you feel lonely and helpless. However, you need to change your mindset and realize that the workplace is the workplace, it has its own unique characteristics, and sometimes it can be harsh, such as the \"survival of the fittest\" mentality. Here are a few suggestions - 1. Learn to communicate, but remember to find the right balance, making communication a medium to increase trust, understanding, and familiarity among coworkers. In the workplace, communication can be difficult, but it's always possible to find common topics to talk about, both in personal and work-related aspects. Be careful not to make jokes randomly or talk about irrelevant matters. 2. Focus on doing your own job well. Only by doing your job well can you qualify and have the ability to help others, and also earn dignity for yourself. When your skills are strong enough, so-called interpersonal skills and relationships will naturally improve. 3. When faced with problems, try to find solutions on your own first. If you really can't solve them, then ask others for help. In the workplace, there are always more solutions than difficulties. As long as you are willing to try, there will definitely be a way, even if the final outcome is not what you and the company wanted, at least you made an effort, which is better than just complaining without taking any action. 4. Clarify your own position. Going to work is for work, not for making friends. If you have various frustrations, you can talk to trusted family and friends about them; your coworkers are not obligated to share the burden with you. Wishing you well~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I noticed that you're becoming increasingly unhappy because of your job change. I've also gone through a similar experience and would like to share with you, in hopes that it might give you some reference. Before I retired, I was forced to transfer to a new organization due to restructuring. When I arrived there, everything was unfamiliar and the work wasn't going smoothly. Due to their exclusion, I didn't have much work to do, which was very uncomfortable for someone like me who was used to being busy. I felt really frustrated, just like how you're feeling now. During that time, I started attending classes and found various psychology-related courses online. I categorized and compiled the ones that interested me, and began designing courses, focusing on attention training and memory improvement for primary and secondary school students. It was during this period that I found my passion. So, I have a few suggestions for you. First, it's understandable that you're feeling all kinds of emotions like frustration and loneliness. There may be people who sympathize with you, but based on my experience in the workplace, such sympathy is short-lived and superficial. Once it comes to vested interests, people's true colors are revealed. Therefore, I suggest that you gather yourself and be a smiling tiger, facing everyone with a smile. Second, complete your job duties without compromise. By doing so, you are demonstrating your work capabilities and establishing your position within the team. Third, when it comes to tasks assigned by your superiors, while accepting the work, make sure to ask for the final deadline and complete it before that deadline. However, don't rush to submit it, instead, keep it with you. This way, you can carve out some time that belongs entirely to you, to do things you enjoy. Fourth, take advantage of this period when you aren't closely acquainted with your colleagues and maintain a certain distance from them for the time being. This will allow you to observe each person, secretly learn a new subject, skill, or delve into your favorite field, laying a solid foundation for future job adjustments. There is a saying from our childhood: \"Moscow doesn't believe in tears.\" In fact, this is true everywhere; no one sympathizes with the weak. When conditions are not yet favorable, when we can only be mediocre and unremarkable, we should first settle ourselves, become an ordinary person, and find joy and capability within that ordinariness. I believe you will find your happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good morning! OP, seeing your question, I feel your frustration. Work is indeed the most time-consuming aspect of our lives, and if we constantly feel miserable during this time, it's like having a dark cloud over our heads that refuses to dissipate, and we can't feel the brightness and sunshine. After carefully reading your description, I thought of the following problems that you are facing, and let's take a look at the possible underlying truths behind these problems, and try to see if I can be of help to you. \n\n1. Forced job change: OP mentioned being forced to change jobs, is this pressure coming from your parents? If it's from your family, I can think of two aspects. [Parent-child relationship] Being forced reflects the parent-child relationship or the interaction pattern between parents and children. Since it is described as being forced, it means that the parents did not really consider the child's thoughts and instead made decisions on behalf of the child from the perspective of doing what is best for the child. [Acceptance] OP is already of working age, indicating that they have reached adulthood biologically, but in the end, they accepted their parents' advice. Perhaps OP has many reasons for accepting, but they can reflect on whether there is a need for them in this job change event. There is always a reason behind human behavior, whether it's believing that this job still has benefits or not being able to overturn their parents' decision, all of these can be reasons. OP can introspectively ask themselves a few \"whys\". [Boundaries] When OP's parents forced them to accept a job change, they may have in fact crossed the boundaries between themselves and their child. Parents may be acting from a responsible standpoint, believing that this is the best thing for their child. At this time, the child is weak and the parents are strong. So, what reasons led the parents to continue playing the role of the powerful one even after the child became an adult, and to set the child in a position of weakness? Is the child genuinely weak or just pretending to be weak? Can the child take responsibility for their own decisions? Or can parents trust that their child can handle their own affairs? Parents have their own lessons to learn, and OP has their own lessons as well. \n\n2. Inferiority: After entering the new job, OP feels inferior when facing people older and with higher positions than themselves, enduring situations where they don't have a common language and feeling inferior. [Value system] Our evaluation of human worth and self-value may come more from the influence of our family of origin. People with higher positions may be seen as \"authority\" figures, and OP's interaction with colleagues may mirror their reaction patterns towards authority figures, which then ties into their self-worth. [Self-appraisal] OP primarily evaluates themselves in comparison to the outside world based on their position, neglecting their inner worth as a person. Of course, many of us have this problem, and if we understand this problem, it will weaken feelings of inferiority. I suggest that OP can read some books on Adlerian psychology, particularly about inferiority. \n\n3. Friends: OP has almost no friends in the new workplace, and colleagues mind their own business without offering warmth and comfort. Some organizations are like this, or maybe some people just put on a facade. If OP cannot leave their current workplace, they can take the initiative to actively help their colleagues and improve intimacy. On the other hand, they can also seek friends outside of the workplace, such as former colleagues or classmates, and continue to build their social circle, finding close friends who can support and encourage each other. I wish you good luck in resolving the problems you are currently facing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! I can feel the OP's suppressed anger and anxiety. Being forced to change jobs, anyone would find it hard to be happy. And on top of that, working with colleagues who are older and have a higher status adds to the pressure and makes the OP feel inferior. With few friends around and distant relationships, the OP cannot find comfort and warmth from friends, which makes life more boring and unhappy. The fact that the OP is able to work means they are an independent adult with their own thoughts and actions. It makes me curious about who can \"force\" the OP to change jobs against their will, and why the OP didn't refuse but chose to accept and endure it. This makes me wonder what the OP is trying to express and what they hope to gain by suppressing themselves. Suppressing and forbearing might be a way for the OP to satisfy themselves, but the person who \"forces\" the OP to accept it might mistakenly believe that the OP understands and accepts the \"force\", thinking it's reasonable and doesn't realize the extent of the OP's suppressed emotions. The distant relationship with friends reflects this emotional \"isolation\" and affects the development of their emotional relationship. This kind of interaction can be seen as an extension and reflection of family intimacy, which means the OP's relationship with their parents is not intimate enough and somewhat distant, making them feel insecure and easily anxious, leading them to seek acceptance and appease their family. Therefore, the issue troubling the OP comes from their family relationships. As an adult, the OP can try talking to their parents, expressing their thoughts and feelings, and listening to what they have to say to promote deeper communication and understanding, reduce inner stress, improve their relationship with their parents, or consider making an appointment with a suitable therapist for systematic psychological counseling to solve the issues that are troubling them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't want to change jobs, but I am being forced to change jobs, which is frustrating. I find it difficult to adapt to the new work environment, and it is mentally challenging. It's normal to experience such fluctuations, and I'm giving you a hug. In the workplace, there may be some harsh elements. Since you have the opportunity to work in such a strong and esteemed circle, I think it is both a challenge for us and a psychological burden. I remember when I was gradually advancing in the workplace, I faced people who wished I couldn't adapt to the job, and there were also sarcastic comments. I even cried. But I persevered, made progress step by step, learned from my experiences, and moved forward steadily. Looking back, the things that I thought were very difficult in the past now seem like a piece of cake. I am truly happy with my growth and progress. The first point is to adjust your mindset. Since you are surrounded by many excellent senior colleagues, we know our abilities may not match theirs, but each person is an opportunity for us to learn. Learn from the strengths of others, and even if we are not as capable as them now, as long as we find our own position and bridge the gap, step by step with effort, we will be successful with a clear conscience. Use the time of self-doubt and self-negation to improve our capabilities, and believe that we will gain more. The second point is to learn to communicate. As newcomers in a new environment, our colleagues may not initiate much interaction with us, but we can take the initiative to communicate with them, even if it means being more proactive. Some may perceive us as average, but so what? They might even want to help us feel accomplished. So, showing vulnerability may not be a bad thing; it might even be a way to preserve our strength. It is also normal to have a few people who are difficult to communicate with, as there are all kinds of people. Start by communicating with those who are easier to talk to and gradually expand our communication network. The third point is the skill of getting along with others. In the workplace, getting along with others is crucial, especially for newbies. Take on a humble attitude, be observant, help your colleagues pour a glass of water, wipe the table, and so on. These are just examples; the specific actions should be decided based on the actual situation. When faced with difficulties, we all need comfort and encouragement. It's normal. Take your time to adjust, read books on interpersonal communication, such as \"The Harvard Emotional Intelligence Course,\" and keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, I want to give a virtual hug to the questioner. The complex interpersonal relationships in the workplace often leave us mentally and physically exhausted. *After changing jobs, you have become increasingly unhappy. In the beginning, you were forced to change jobs, and you yourself are very clear that this job was obtained unwillingly or, in other words, with inner resistance. Perhaps this unwillingness has sowed the seeds for future burdens. So, let's think about where this coercion comes from. Parents? Family? Economic reasons? Understanding this objective fact will help us further solve the problem. Subjectively, we must believe that at any moment, we have the power to make our own decisions. *Later, facing a group of older colleagues with higher positions, you feel inferior at work. There is no common language and you have to endure. If the previous situation was the cause and deep-rooted, then what follows is the current reality that you face every day. Purely from a work perspective, have you ever thought about what kind of work you like, what kind of work suits you, and what kind of work you can do? Facing people who are better than us can give us invisible pressure, but often, the pressure itself is not the problem. The problem lies in how we perceive and interpret the pressure. Pressure can also be seen as a motivation. While adjusting our interpretation, we also need to respect our own feelings and not rush to find a one-time solution. Take your time to understand yourself. *Feeling inferior and having only a few friends around who are also dealing with their own problems, no longer able to receive warmth and comfort, life feels dreary, and you feel hopeless. The above feelings seem to be the questioner's extended worries. The decline in work status has led to doubts and lack of self-confidence, as well as a lack of friends to talk to. The beginning is always difficult. First of all, we are not fighting alone. Since there are so many people on this platform who vent their troubles daily, it proves that we are all human beings, born in this world, and troubles are also part of life. Open your heart, take the initiative to make friends, but first adjust your mindset and state. I hope the above will inspire or help the questioner. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: I have noticed a change in your mood since changing jobs, and I also noticed that you have actively expressed your emotional distress and sought help from others, which undoubtedly helps you to better understand yourself and your work. You mentioned that you have been unhappy since changing jobs, so does that mean you were satisfied with your previous job? Now, I will share my observations from your post, which may help you gain a more diverse perspective on yourself and your work. 1. Your pain stems from not accepting. I don't know what reasons you have for staying in this job, but if this job is really causing you such pain, perhaps you can leave. If you cannot leave, then what ways can help you adjust your emotions? My understanding is to accept reality. From your post, I observed that you seem to express more dissatisfaction with your current job, noticing that your colleagues are older and have higher positions than you, and there is no common language, requiring patience, and feeling a lack of warmth, making you feel inferior. So where do these feelings come from? I think they come from comparing with your previous job! You have not learned to accept the current situation, and you are physically present but mentally absent. Therefore, you cannot see the advantages of this job. So if this situation cannot be changed at the moment, then learn to accept reality. 2. Learn to accept yourself and build your own internal evaluation system. Inferiority is actually not accepting yourself. Not allowing yourself to be inferior to others. So when you work with older people and people with higher positions, it is easy to generate feelings of inferiority. In fact, being strict with ourselves can be the last straw that breaks us, on the contrary, being gentle and caring with ourselves can give us the strength to go further. In the face of these colleagues, perhaps you can learn to accept that you are not as good as them in some aspects, but you are not completely bad either! You also need to learn to see your strengths. For example, you are young! So if you are willing to work hard, then you will have the opportunity to have more ability and status than your colleagues when you reach their age! So the important thing is to accept yourself now, see your strengths, and accept your weaknesses. Accept the parts that cannot be changed and focus on the parts that you can change, instead of constantly draining your energy. Don't generalize. Build your own internal evaluation system. In fact, self-confidence is not really related to excellence, but to our own recognition and interpretation of ourselves. 3. Learn to see the positive aspects of your work. Yes, your current job has brought you great pain, but it has also given you the opportunity to reacquaint yourself and adjust yourself. For example, you have seen your own insecurities, so you have the opportunity to adjust your insecurities and reconcile with them. Develop a healthier personality. We can imagine that if we were to stay in our previous job, we might never see these aspects of our personality and materials. So the probability of this happening in our lifetime is very small. So facing it earlier is better! I also noticed that you feel there is no warmth in your work, but it is also an opportunity for you to spend time with yourself! Learn to console and embrace yourself. In life, there are many times when others can meet our needs, which is fortunate and happy. But if others cannot fulfill us, don't forget that we have the ability to fulfill ourselves. We are responsible for ourselves and our emotions. Your colleagues, their higher positions, so you can observe how they handle themselves and learn from their strengths, combined with your own advantages. So if you learn, will your achievements in the future be lower than theirs? So learn to see the positive aspects of work. See how work helps us grow, not just consume us. Lastly, if you want to receive warmth, you must first give warmth. Because no one owes you anything at work. Be warm to others, but also do not compromise yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Due to some special reasons, we have had to leave our previous work environment. There is no sense of warmth, no friends, no common language, and even the people around us are much more outstanding than ourselves. Under various pressures, we may feel that life is hopeless. 1. It is best to separate work and personal life. In our work, we will encounter many problems, and sometimes it is inevitable that we need to collaborate with others. If the people around us can provide us with appropriate help and encouragement, it would be greatly appreciated by newcomers in the workplace. Even if it means working hard and feeling tired, it doesn't matter because we know that it is a way to exercise and grow. However, the reality is often far from ideal, especially in a workplace that is relatively outdated, where the people around us have already become seasoned professionals who know how to protect their own interests. Many times, they are only friends in appearance. For us, it can be difficult to adapt to such an environment, but work is work, and personal life is personal life. We still need to keep them separate. For things within our job responsibilities, we should try our best to do our job well and try not to bother others with tasks that we can independently handle. If there are tasks that we truly cannot complete on our own, we should raise questions to our superiors. When collaborating with others, we should try our best not to cause trouble for them. We should focus on doing what we are supposed to do and not feel inferior just because they have higher positions, because we receive corresponding rewards based on our own efforts. Mutual respect is important in the workplace. 2. We need to have our own ways to release stress in life. If we are doing a job that we don't like and have no hobbies or friends during our spare time, we often bring our dissatisfaction from work into our personal lives. Therefore, we need to distinguish between work and personal life. We should do our own tasks well during work hours and not dwell on work-related issues after work. We should have our own social circle and hobbies. For example, we can chat with good friends and vent our frustrations, cultivate new hobbies, or do things that make us happy. We can also write down unhappy experiences anonymously online. In fact, happiness and unhappiness both make up a day. Why not choose to be a little happier? The world loves you.",
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          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"It's okay, I understand you. First of all, what does it feel like to be rejected by the strong? It feels uncomfortable, as if no one accepts you, and no one sees you. You are often pressured to be excellent, otherwise we will all reject you, you don't meet the standards, you don't deserve to be seen, and you are not worthy of love. Do you feel this kind of pressure? It can be exhausting, and you may start to doubt yourself and even look down on yourself, right? However, chasing excellence will only make you feel that you are not good enough. Only those who constantly pursue excellence and look down on those who are slightly inferior do this. Allow yourself to set boundaries with these people. How others see you is their own business, if we cross that line, we will be involved in their trauma. Allow yourself to be yourself, without the need to please or hate. Desiring love and validation can actually be fulfilled with the help of a higher power. Because humans always have limitations, just like when you feel lonely and no friends understand you. Friends are also busy and have their own troubles. Sometimes they cannot immediately understand and answer you. Only a higher power is infinite, it loves and accepts you at all times and places. It allows you to be yourself, it allows us to be imperfect, it allows us to be ordinary. Love yourself a little more every day. You can do things you like, such as watching movies, listening to music, and nourishing your heart first. Giving yourself mental energy is the most important. Accept that this society is like this because everyone has their limitations. \"Looking down\" on others is the norm for many people. They are indifferent because they can't even take care of themselves and have no energy to care for you. Forgive them, because you will also have limited energy and limitations. You have done your best, and they have also done their best. See your strengths and realize that you are already good enough. We are born as human beings, and that in itself is beautiful. Our existence is wonderful, a value, and an achievement. We are already good enough. There is no need to chase perfection or excellence anymore. Believe me, you are already good. Blessings to you, namaste!\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19519
       },
       {
        "question": "My parents scolded me many times for trivial matters, and after being scolded, I often have the urge to self-harm.",
        "description": "Parents have scolded me many times, and I don't know why. They suddenly yell at me when I speak in a normal tone. Sometimes, they even chase after me and continue scolding me when I lock the door. I have nowhere to vent my frustrations and have been constantly suppressing them. After crying, I sometimes have the urge to self-harm. I used to be able to adjust my emotions, but now it's getting harder and harder. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, communication with parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner, here's a warm hug for you. You mentioned two things: 1. Your parents repeatedly reprimand you for trivial matters, causing you significant psychological pressure. 2. Your mood is not very good, and you feel that you are becoming slower in adjusting your mental state. You feel that your ability to withstand stress has decreased. Firstly, let's talk about the issue of your parents reprimanding you. Everyone has different standards for evaluating things. Sometimes, what you may consider a small matter, your family may see as a bigger issue. Therefore, they adopt a serious attitude towards you. Compared to your dismissive attitude, they feel that you don't value this matter, which generates even greater dissatisfaction and may lead to more intense behaviors towards you. Secondly, another reason may be that your family might have recently encountered some annoying things, combined with the things happening at home, causing them to suddenly vent their frustration. They may not even realize it themselves. In this aspect, you may need to understand them a bit more. You can try to communicate with them. They are your parents, but also ordinary individuals with their own emotions, who also need care and love from their family. Lastly, everyone has a certain level of psychological resilience. If negative emotions persist for a long time or occur repeatedly, it may slow down your adjustment process, just like some machines that may operate slightly slower after prolonged use. Therefore, you need to find more effective ways to adjust or quickly improve your relationship with your family through communication. Wishing you all the best! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2578
       },
       {
        "question": "I am tormented every day by the fact that my boyfriend still can't fully let go of his ex with depression.",
        "description": "My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend went to prison because of some company issues (it seems like fraud). It happened in November last year. At the end of March this year, someone from a website called him and said that his ex-girlfriend still owed money and her phone was also turned off. My boyfriend got scared that she might commit suicide because she has depression. Later, he asked his friends and found out that she was indeed in prison and owed several tens of thousands of dollars on multiple websites, saying that she spent money recklessly after they broke up. My boyfriend felt guilty because of her depression. He even gave her back around 13,000 yuan and added her mom on WeChat. Her mom said that they couldn't repay the money now because they needed to raise money for legal matters. As his current girlfriend, I feel really upset. We have broken up many times before because of his ex-girlfriend. I really can't stand it when he talks about depression... A month ago, I asked him to delete his ex-girlfriend's WeChat, but he said he can't delete it yet because she hasn't been released. I had a breakdown that night. I cried for a long time and kept asking myself what to do. Breaking up really hurts. I had dreams countless times of him being with his ex-girlfriend. Every time I wake up, I feel very uncomfortable, insecure, and afraid that I might lose him all of a sudden. I'm in college now and he is working. We have been together almost a year.",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello the person asking the question, I want to give you a warm hug. Based on your description, I would like to know if you have ever met or interacted with his ex-girlfriend. I am not sure about the situation with his ex-girlfriend in prison. It seems like a trap with the scam company and website owing money. Even though you cannot see his ex-girlfriend, her connections are still there, and they are taking advantage of your boyfriend's kindness and guilt by making him repay the debt. It is important to first verify if the situation is genuine and then decide whether or not to help. Of course, your boyfriend's choice to help repay the debt shows that he is a very kind person and feels guilty about his ex-girlfriend's depression caused by their breakup. However, he does not have any lingering feelings, and I believe that after the breakup, his ex-girlfriend definitely contacted him and struggled to get back together. But in the end, he chose to be with you and chose you. I understand your discomfort, and I believe that he must have very attractive qualities that make you like him and not want to break up with him. I believe his ex-girlfriend feels the same way. Regarding deleting WeChat, can he give you a deadline? For example, wait until she is released from prison or until the debt is fully repaid. Communication can be made, and if this issue is not resolved properly, it can become a ticking time bomb in your relationship, ready to explode at any moment. However, it is really not worth it. Right now, the two of you are together, so enjoy your happy life together and create your own happiness. It is truly unnecessary to make yourself unhappy because of past events.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9561
       },
       {
        "question": "Depression, failed to pass the probation period in several jobs, how to overcome the fear of work?",
        "description": "Depression, feeling low, working several jobs, but only lasted one to two months in each, none of them passed the probation period, feeling a bit scared now.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, work fatigue",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Do you have depression? Are you currently receiving treatment? Is it because of depression that you are unable to perform your job well? These jobs are not long-lasting, and you haven't even passed the probation period. What are some common characteristics they have? Maybe we should look for some solutions to overcome this. In addition, the treatment of depression is of paramount importance. Constant failures will definitely make you more frustrated. Therefore, when your depression has improved, it would be more suitable for you to engage in normal social interactions and perform the job you want to do.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1408
       },
       {
        "question": "Why can some people confidently and unabashedly trouble others?",
        "description": "I don't really like to bother others. I prefer to solve things on my own. If I can't solve it, I try to minimize the trouble for others before asking for help. However, some people seem to enjoy bothering others. Even if they have their own things to do, when they come across something fun, they completely ignore their responsibilities and let others do it for them. I really can't understand it, and I don't like it. Why are they so confident about bothering others?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, friends, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Different people may have different answers when it comes to how to view troubling others. Although it is the same matter, our different upbringing and experiences result in different understandings and values. Therefore, our perspectives on the world will also differ. For example, some people do not like to trouble others and try to do things themselves as much as possible, but at the same time they may not like others troubling them. On the other hand, some people enjoy troubling others but are also willing to help and face the troubles caused by others. Which one is better? Perhaps different people will have different answers at different stages.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3513
       },
       {
        "question": "I've been in this position for two years, and now the senior mentor is guiding a new person. Should I consider changing to a new job position?",
        "description": "I have been working in this position for two years, constantly asking the senior workers for guidance, but now the new supervisor wants the senior worker to train the new employees. When I first started, I took on the dirtiest and most tiring tasks, hoping to learn something, but they always avoided me. However, in front of the supervisor, they claim that they want to teach me. The senior worker is now very attentive in training the new employees, even buying them food and explaining everything in detail. I feel like I should change to a different position, but I'm afraid it will be awkward when we meet again. They would definitely not want to let the students they have trained go elsewhere, and once the new employees are well trained, I, as an inexperienced worker, will be left behind after doing all the hard work. I have always been passive and don't want to be pushed away by others anymore. Now I want to request a job transfer, but I feel too embarrassed to do so.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, workplace interpersonal relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Reading about your confession reminded me of myself 20 years ago, when I first entered the workplace. It was eerily similar to the predicament I once found myself in. Back then, I was learning related business skills from a mentor in a workshop. I couldn't tell if I was simply unsuited for the job or if there was some clash of fate with this particular mentor. I could feel the disdain in his eyes, which made me extremely uncomfortable. As you can imagine, he believed I wasn't cut out for this line of work, so I often faced scrutiny and criticism in public. Initially, I thought maybe I was lucky to have encountered a strict mentor and believed it was his unique teaching method. However, as I continued my learning journey, I truly experienced that it wasn't just his strictness or unique teaching style but that he genuinely believed I was unsuitable for the job. He directly told me that it wasn't that he didn't want to teach but that I simply wasn't cut out for it. He advised me to consider switching jobs. After much deliberation, I thought his words made sense. Perhaps I indeed lacked interest in this line of work and the persistence required for learning. In the end, I chose to give up and left that company. Today, after 20 years, when I came across your question, it suddenly reminded me of my experience. I feel that if your mentor truly cared about you, even if he didn't want to teach you, he would sincerely tell you so, just like my mentor did. From your confession, I can't sense such thoughts from your mentor; instead, it seems like he's just paying lip service in front of his superiors. However, when it comes to training newcomers, your mentor displays an extremely strong enthusiasm for teaching. This is something you should seriously consider. Is your mentor intentionally trying to make you give up through provocative methods, or does this novice have a special relationship with the leadership that makes it necessary for your mentor to put in extra effort? This is a question you need to clarify. If it's the former, after two years, if you're still stagnating in this position, I personally don't recommend wasting more time, and I support you in finding a new job. As for feeling sorry for not meeting again, that kind of thinking can be disregarded when it comes to your own future. If it's the latter, then you really need to reassess this mentor. Despite some constraints, fundamentally, following this kind of mentor makes it difficult for you to have a bright future. Whether to stay or leave, switch or not, all of these depend on your inner self. Don't complicate matters. In this situation, listen to the voice within you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "According to the information you provided, it can be said that the analysis that can be done has been done by you. From an outsider's perspective, it seems like you are not ready to take action yet. Any action has its gains and losses. For example, if you don't change jobs, you don't have to face the awkwardness, but your professional growth may be limited. If you do change jobs, you must be confident that you will gain better professional growth, but you may feel uncomfortable facing your previous mentors. Both choices have advantages and disadvantages. Obviously, you no longer want to bear the disadvantages of the first choice, but unfortunately, you are not prepared to bear the disadvantages of the second choice either. I don't believe that all problems can be solved through communication, but it is indeed necessary to express your own attitude. How do you see your work? The underlying logic of work is exchange, which is true, but many people always prioritize their own interests, even though it may not be correct. Because in the workplace, few people purely focus on interests, and the word \"interests\" means different things to different people. For example, if I don't like you and find you annoying, your presence in front of me every day can also be considered an \"interest\". I don't know what has happened in your work, but let's suppose that your mentors just don't like you. If you change jobs and leave, everyone will be happy, and you won't have to feel embarrassed or awkward, right? Two years should be enough time, and if you really can't get along, there is no need to force it. Out of sight, out of mind. However, how you perceive and take responsibility for your work and actions ultimately needs to be decided by you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15492
       },
       {
        "question": "Fallen angel, how can I save you?",
        "description": "I realize that my mentality/thinking has become problematic. I feel very negative and cannot uplift myself. I have been trying to adjust my state of mind for two days, but it's still not working. I cannot overcome difficulties and conquer myself. This not only affects my life and work but also impacts the people who care about me. I feel guilty, but I cannot redeem myself. Am I a lost cause? I want to do things well, but I cannot succeed. I feel anxious and restless, overthinking everything, and unable to focus on work. I keep making mistakes and things are getting out of control.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed mood, emotional regulation, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~Give the questioner a warm hug. From the description, I can feel the questioner's desire for improvement, and I understand that the questioner has been experiencing some negative emotions recently, but doesn't know how to deal with them. First, I want to tell the questioner that there are many people around who are supporting and helping the questioner with the problems and difficulties we are currently facing. So, instead of always relying on ourselves to solve problems, we can seek help from the people around us. This will not bother others with our depressed emotions. The questioner can reflect on whether there have been any events in the recent past that might have caused our bad mood? Is it due to work, study, or other reasons? We can try to discover and find possible influencing factors. On the other hand, the questioner may consider whether there are any exceptional situations in life: are there any exceptions when our mood temporarily improves or stabilizes? These exceptional situations may be helpful in solving problems and relieving emotions. Take a look at these moments, and think about the people, events, or activities that made us feel better during those times.",
          "has_label": true,
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        ],
        "questionID": 8823
       },
       {
        "question": "Wife's infidelity in marriage, choose to forgive once for the sake of the family but feeling very painful.",
        "description": "In order to have a high income for my family, I work as a senior executive in a well-known real estate company in another city. In May of this year, my wife had an affair and had sexual intercourse with another man while traveling outside. I didn't notice their contact when I returned home during the May Day holiday, but eventually my mother discovered them separating at the entrance of our building. After the truth came out, the third party even sent me a video of their sexual activity, clearly showing that they were willing participants. They also sent photos of them kissing and enjoying themselves while traveling. We have two young children, and I have been working away from home for a long time, always prioritizing my family. I am deeply hurt. After the incident was exposed, my wife begged me bitterly, saying that she was temporarily blinded and fell into someone else's trap, and she wishes to return to the family. In order to keep our family intact, especially because our children are only 6 and 3 years old, I have to endure something that no man in the world can tolerate. I am willing to forgive her for this mistake, but I'm worried that by forgiving, I might be indulging her behavior. Additionally, whenever I close my eyes, I can't help but think about their video of sexual activity. I feel that this woman will never be clean again, mentally and physically dirty. I don't know how to face her in daily life even if I decide to forgive her. Whether to divorce or not, she has left a shadow in my heart, and I am in immense pain!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, extramarital affair, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010Take it as a learning opportunity\u3011Dear friend: Hello! After reading your words, I feel that you are a very rational person who understands that the key is not whether to divorce. You know that divorce cannot solve the problem. The key issue is your concern about being betrayed again, how to face her, and how to repair this relationship. Why does a third party appear in a marriage? 1. Someone said it right: if there are no problems in the relationship between husband and wife, a third party cannot intervene. If the husband and wife are united, the third party cannot break them apart. 2. It is a common habit in China to not speak up about problems. Because of face-saving and embarrassment, it is a cultural habit not to actively understand each other's views on this matter or their own behavior. Therefore, like a snowball, the problem grows bigger and bigger. 3. If there is no common goal in life and the family atmosphere is not good, some families may appear normal to outsiders, but inside, they are full of problems. There is a lack of care, unity, trust, or boundaries between the husband and wife. Therefore, if you want to face her and want to have a happy family again, you must have the determination to reconcile. \u3010First\u3011Release anger. Dealing with this matter with anger is futile. Try releasing it, maybe try hitting a pillow. \u3010Second\u3011Labeling and trying to forgive. If you keep looking down on her and continue to despise her, it will only make you feel that you didn't have good judgement in the first place and hurt your self-esteem. It may even create more negative atmosphere. No one grows up aspiring to be an \"unfaithful woman\". There must be reasons behind it. I have found that the person who hurts others suffers twice as much pain as the person being hurt, or even more. Try to separate the person from the actions, deal with this matter properly, and think about why you fell in love with this person in the first place. \u3010Third\u3011Have a calm face-to-face conversation. Take this opportunity to express your feelings about this matter. Let her understand the impact this has had on you. Understand the reasons behind her infidelity and her satisfaction with this marriage. Through this matter, understand each other's true feelings. You have to understand that having a high income is just one aspect of fulfilling family responsibilities. If a homemaker in a high-income family cheats, it may be because she feels too empty. You have to understand that money cannot replace other types of love. Confidence, intimacy, service, dedication... these cannot be bought with money. Check if you have put her first. The proper order of a healthy family is: spouse, children, parents. Is the relationship between husband and wife equal? Often, different incomes can cause the higher earner to look down on the other, creating an imbalance in status and conflicts. \u3010Fourth\u3011Rebuilding trust requires time and fulfillment of promises. Try to have her write a commitment letter. Let her understand the importance of this commitment. This will make you feel more at ease and also serve as a wake-up call for her. \u3010Fifth\u3011Don't demand a perfect marriage. Since no one is perfect, how can a marriage be perfect? Take this incident as an opportunity to learn. Marriage is not the end of happiness, but another beginning of learning in life. Approach marriage with a learning attitude and invite your partner to face the problems together. Don't shoulder the burden of marriage alone. Try to openly express your feelings and let the other person understand you and love you. Give yourself and your partner time, and consider yourself and her as classmates or partners.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You, who were wholeheartedly devoted to your family, have experienced betrayal. The pain must be heart-wrenching! The question is, how should you face her in your future life? The shadow left by divorce or not getting divorced has caused me great anguish! I understand, but it's not your fault. Let me tell you a method to alleviate the pain! If you have painful, sad thoughts appear in your mind, simply say thank you to them. Just say thank you, thank you for reminding me, that's enough. Engage in a dialogue with those thoughts, even imagine their voice as Donald Duck's voice. This can have a dissociative effect. Dissociation is a very important technique in this therapy. However, we need to understand that the purpose of dissociation is not to eliminate unpleasant thoughts. Once the unpleasant thoughts arise, they have arisen. We don't aim to get rid of them, but rather to understand the essence of the thoughts. By seeing their essence, sometimes thoughts will naturally disappear, and sometimes they won't. But if we expect them to disappear in advance, that would be setting ourselves up for disappointment. This method is not an instant solution where you become happy immediately by using it. Sometimes you will feel happy, sometimes you will let go. But don't expect it. You just need to separate yourself from those thoughts, just the ability to observe them is enough. Don't expect these techniques to make you feel good. In general, after dissociating from a trouble-causing thought, you will indeed feel a little better, but that is just an extra benefit, not the main goal. The main goal of dissociation is to free ourselves from the tyranny of thoughts, so that we can focus on more important matters. Bringing ourselves back to the present moment is the method to alleviate the pain.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Money cannot replace other forms of love. Affirmation, intimacy, service, focus...these are things that money cannot buy. I don't know if men understand the meaning of this statement, but when a woman's needs are not met, it is actually the husband's greatest failure and negligence. If you earn money to support the family and she gives birth and raises children, then these contributions to the family should offset each other, right? If you are not fulfilling your role as a husband, then she naturally doesn't have to fulfill her role as a wife. Isn't that also offsetting each other? If you feel imbalanced, then take up the responsibility as a husband to fulfill your wife's needs. Without giving, there is no receiving. So why blame your wife instead of reflecting on yourself?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Your pain has nothing to do with your wife, it is about your dignity and family. I agree with your divorce because, as you said, family is important, but you have not reflected on yourself. Since you despise your wife so much, it's better to let each other go rather than suffering and causing further imbalance in your mind and doing even more unreliable and irreparable things. It is a man's duty to earn money and support the family, there is no need to boast, but it doesn't prevent you from caring for your wife. If you pay attention to her all the time, this green-eyed monster wouldn't have come into your life. Brother, you have been careless and hasty.",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10877
       },
       {
        "question": "Many pieces of children's literature have been taken down. Where is the boundary for children's education?",
        "description": "Recently, there have been many children's literature books being taken down, as some of the content is deemed unsuitable for children. For example, it includes quarrels and name-calling among classmates. Setting aside inappropriate content, suicide, and other negative factors, can we incorporate real-life issues into children's education? Quarrels and name-calling are actually common occurrences in schools. If we give children a pristine world through books, does it truly benefit them in their real lives?",
        "keywords": "Growth, children's growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Can a negative social environment be caused by children's literature? Do books have such a function? There are very few children who actively choose to read children's literature books on their own - they are burdened with academics, attending various training classes, and busy with makeup classes. Where is the time to read? And how many parents are willing to buy books for their children? In certain foreign countries where literature is prevalent, they don't make such a big deal out of it, nor do they have the notion that books corrupt children, right? I'm afraid it's a group of people who have no investigations whatsoever, indulging in their own delusions and creating a \"scapegoat\"! Even if all children's literature works were banned, these phenomena would still continue to occur, repeatedly defying prohibition. Would they not be embarrassed then? I believe not, as they would just find a new \"scapegoat\". Nowadays, many children have smartphones, and a lot of the content they exchange with each other comes from online gaming conversations. The language used in these conversations is mostly vulgar, rude, violent, and even obscene. Additionally, while browsing online, if you are not careful, inappropriate images can pop up, as well as various adult novels and websites. At the same time, some parents, apart from handing over their children's education to school, simply use smartphones to occupy their children's time. Many times they can't even control their own mouths, resorting to scolding, insulting, suppressing, and filling their speech with obscenities. How can they expect their children to become pure angels? It's simply impossible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, recently there have indeed been a lot of news about children's literature being taken down, seemingly to create a \"clean\" world for children. However, these actions have caused a lot of questioning online because such treatment is indeed inappropriate. It's a perfunctory and one-size-fits-all behavior. When it comes to children's education, from books to practice, from principles to life, it has always been a relatively reliable method. It's better to let them know that the world has various hardships and then tell them that although there are various hardships, we can help each other and face these problems together. However, cutting literature off completely is like raising children in cotton, not knowing that the ground outside is hard and has pebbles. When they grow up, they will be thrown out to face the world directly. It's truly not an effective way to rectify the situation.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15246
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there any advantage or disadvantage to sexual desire?",
        "description": "Why is it that when sexual desire is used in the right context and manner, it is like honey, beneficial for physical and mental health, but when used in the wrong place or manner, it becomes poison, sometimes even poison disguised in a sweet candy coating, appearing pleasurable to the senses but harmful and unbeneficial to personal development and growth?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexual desire, anxiety, disorder.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From a psychological perspective, Freud believed that the energy of human mental activity comes from instinct, which is the inner driving force that propels individual behavior. Instincts dominate individuals on an unconscious level and manifest in both normal and abnormal behavior. There are two basic types of instincts in humans: life instincts and death instincts or aggressive instincts. Life instincts include sexual instincts and individual survival instincts, aiming to maintain the procreation of the species and the individual's survival. Psychologists generally agree that sexual desire is one of the instincts of humans. We need to have a correct understanding of sexuality and approach it in the right way. As a natural instinct, sexual desire is actually unrelated to right or wrong. Therefore, whether it is good or bad depends on the choices made by the individual themselves. In intimate love and marriage, sexual activity is something very normal. The expression of sexual desire is also a part of love, so we find it very sweet. However, if sexual desire is used in inappropriate ways, it can become very difficult to accept. Because sex and love are often intertwined, if someone simply indulges in their sexual desires without love between individuals, this situation would also be morally unacceptable. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Question asker, good evening! I am fortunate to come across this question, encounter your inquiry, and engage in inner reflection on it. Sexual desire, a product of ancient evolution inherent in the physical body, is neither good nor bad. It is the result of acquired cognition that gives it various colors. Today, while I was taking a walk, I was still thinking about which is higher and which is lower between the physical body and the mind. Could it be that the mind is nobler than the physical body? I once read a book called \"The Selfish Gene.\" Where does the gene's selfishness manifest? It manifests in the endless pursuit of survival, replication, and reproduction. From this, one can infer that the true purpose of sexual desire is to ensure one's own survival. This is a realization that comes close to the original essence of life. When a person has already settled down, established a career, and even has offspring, is sexual desire still necessary? This becomes a struggle between intellect and genes. The only viable solution is to accept this composition. In fact, humans are inherently flawed. There are many suboptimal designs in the human body structure. Since humans themselves are imperfect, why strive for absolute freedom? (Unable to transcend sexual desire, from a different perspective, it can be sublimated into a higher desire for creation.) Let us explore together and heal the world!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sexual desire is a biological instinct in humans, and without it, humans would not have survived to this day. So, you're asking whether sexual desire is good or not? However, since sexual desire is a type of desire, it needs to be considered from two aspects, intensity and direction. Firstly, excessive indulgence in sexual desires is definitely not good. If there is no sexual intimacy in a relationship, it is also not beneficial for the maintenance and development of the relationship, as Platonic love, after all, is idealistic. Secondly, if there is no proper direction for sexual desires, it may lead to deviations. It is clearly against morals if this occurs within a marriage. If it hasn't entered marriage yet, having multiple sexual partners may not be illegal or morally wrong, but it may cause inner psychological conflicts. As for the occasion and manner of sexual activities, in my understanding, the occasion should be more private and the manner should be acceptable to the partner. I'm not sure if my understanding and response are appropriate.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6634
       },
       {
        "question": "What can I do when I'm always anxious or excited and can't sleep before an exam?",
        "description": "Every time I encounter a big exam, I easily get excited the night before, thinking about different things and unable to control myself. As a result, I end up sleeping very late and the next day I feel tired, my thoughts are confused, and my reactions are slower than usual. Therefore, my grades also fluctuate.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, confusion, chaos.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, it seems like you feel that the exam is coming the next day and you've been thinking about it all the time. Many people might feel anxious and unable to sleep because they think they haven't prepared enough for the exam. But, in your case, it seems like you are excited and unable to sleep. This won't work, as not getting enough rest will affect your mental state the next day for sure. If your mental state is not good, how can you ensure that you will be able to take the exam properly? It is true that we should study well, but it is also important to prioritize our health. Learning is important, but taking care of our bodies is equally important, as our health comes first. Since the exam is the next day, regardless of how you have prepared, your grades are already set. So, don't think about anything, rest peacefully and make sure to take care of yourself. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18669
       },
       {
        "question": "Our relationship of eight years feels like it has reached its end...",
        "description": "Can't go back anymore! It's so sad, everything in the past makes people want to cry! It hurts deeply, meeting someone who doesn't understand me, both of us are so pitiful! His stubbornness cannot be changed, and I can't hold on to accommodating anymore! And there are two poor children, I love them, I can't bear to leave them!",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage concept, divorce, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answer can help you: 8 years of relationship have become the past, husband, children, family... all of these are difficult to let go of. However, as you said, \"his stubbornness cannot be changed, and I can't accommodate it anymore!\" Some things, some people, can never be changed. You have chosen to be yourself, which is a good choice from the perspective of self-growth, of course, it also requires courage. When your partner doesn't understand you and causes barriers or even hurts each other, it will eventually become unsustainable. Breaking up is a helpless choice and a necessary self-redemption. At the moment you made the decision, you must have felt that you were right. That's enough, at least you know what you are doing. As for the children, if parents can provide good care, they may actually grow up better than children who grow up in a strained relationship. In the future, they will understand their parents' choices. Even though you are not together, your love can still accompany them, right? I'm here, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2194
       },
       {
        "question": "My mom has a bad temper, how to deal with others' bad temper?",
        "description": "My mother has a bad temper and scolds me in a blaming tone for everything I do. It is really annoying that nothing seems to meet her expectations. I have talked to her about it, but she doesn't care at all and I have to live in this environment every day. It is very stressful and I can't move out due to certain reasons. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, everyone's temperament and nature are not easily changed. Patience in communication and understanding the needs and feelings of others while expressing your own feelings freely during interaction is important. From your description, I can feel your strong pain and helplessness when your mother always gets angry and blames you. On one hand, you have had unfruitful communication with her and her behavior continues to happen, and on the other hand, your emotions have accumulated to the point where you are about to explode and collapse. Take a serious look at why your mother gets angry. Is it because of her own character traits of irritability and restlessness, or is it because she is dissatisfied with what you do? Or perhaps she has some suppressed and evasive things in her heart that she projects onto you? Figure out these reasons, and then take action to make changes. If it is due to her character, you may need to consider the problem from her perspective. A temper built over decades cannot be changed overnight. When she is calm, you can teach her some methods to manage her emotions, and discuss and suggest them as a way of learning from each other, instead of making her feel like you are controlling and educating her, which can trigger her emotional outburst. Also, the next time she has an emotional outburst, you can accompany her in practicing the effectiveness of various methods. If it is because of something you have done, express your feelings about the matter. If it is indeed your fault, apologize sincerely. If it is not, let her know your emotions, your stress, and your way of looking at the problem. These are things that you must explain and communicate to her in the face of repeated blame. Do not be afraid of arguments and conflicts, as these allow us to see more aspects of each other and help us avoid arguments of the same kind in the future. If it is due to her own emotions, which she has not dealt with well and unconsciously projects onto you, you may need to listen better and guide her in expressing her feelings, providing care and firm support. Because parents are always silent, even if they have negative and negative things in their hearts, they think of us as their children and choose not to confide in us. When we earnestly look into their eyes and patiently accompany them, just ask, \"Mom, has anything been bothering you recently? I can tell you're not feeling happy,\" they might feel warmth and love. Create more opportunities to have serious conversations with your mother, so that both of your feelings can be understood. Don't burden yourself and also see the suppressed emotions of your mother, gradually changing the way you interact. Mothers have also been daughters, and they may need us to become emotionally strong before they can rely on us. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19411
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know why it has become like this now, and I don't know why I'm alive...",
        "description": "I don't know why I have become like this, fake, lazy, rebellious, and everyone dislikes me. My mother often says, \"Why aren't you dead yet?\" I also don't know why I am alive, what's the point of living? I'm afraid of pain, I'm afraid of the cold. I think, if I were dead, I wouldn't feel pain or cold anymore, right?\n",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotional regulation, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation, dear. Sending you a hug. The bolded texts are my responses to you. If you have any questions, you can contact me. Fake, lazy, rebellious, nobody likes me. I don't care about others, I want to know if you like yourself. My mom often says why don't you go die. Life comes into this world through a mother, the mother gives birth to the child, and unconsciously sees the child as a part of herself. When she feels powerless and resentful, she may say things like \"death\" to ease her own emotional stress. Life has many disappointments and pressures. Everyone has moments of powerlessness and hopes for a bit of rescue. When your mother says these words to you, she is actually asking for help. I apologize for burdening you, as you are already unable to handle your mother's emotions. I also don't know why I am alive, what is the meaning of being alive? Being alive means creating your own life. This is the ultimate question for everyone. We don't get to choose the family we are born into or the kind of parents we have. But when we start asking why we are alive, it means our life is entering a stage of self-creation. What kind of life do I hope for? How can I show my vitality? How do I want to experience happiness and joy in the future? PS: The stage of creation requires breaking through the limitations imposed by others in the past... it is the process of transforming from a cocoon into a butterfly. It's like the transformation from a caterpillar to a butterfly. 1. Stillness---seeing one's own current situation, including emotions, cognition, and beliefs. 2. Transformation---abandoning emotions, cognition, and beliefs that are incompatible with the present reality. 3. Breaking the cocoon---establishing new emotional patterns, beliefs, and behaviors... I'm afraid of pain, I'm afraid of the cold, I think, if I died, I wouldn't feel pain or cold anymore, right? I can't answer this here because I don't know the situation on the other side. If some stories are true, then the current situation should be the lesson in front of us. Instead of running away, it's better to face it well. Just like playing a game, if you don't pass a level, you start over and it's the same level. Only by passing the level can we experience the joy of victory. Life has hope. But are you willing to have a little patience and make efforts? And the process of making efforts requires enduring the pain of transformation. Do you have the courage to do that? Come on, be a warrior of life. Help will always be there, asking questions here is the beginning of help. The teachers here are all professionals. There are also corresponding activities and helplines. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13526
       },
       {
        "question": "I often doubt whether others' love for me is genuine, and I want to push away someone and end a relationship.",
        "description": "In intimate relationships, there is often a push-pull dynamic, especially during periods of conflict and disagreement. The more the other person seeks me, the more I resist. When the other person calms down and withdraws, I may feel the urge to provoke them again, hoping they will continue to seek me or try to reconcile. I feel like there's something wrong with me. Often, after investing myself in the relationship, I constantly think about pushing this person and the relationship away, wanting to go back to square one. I also frequently doubt whether this person truly loves me. I tend to magnify small details and think, \"See, he doesn't love me or care about me.\" I silently keep track of these instances until they accumulate and eventually lead to a complete break. I don't know why I act this way. It's as if I am emotionally unstable and lack the ability to sustain a stable intimate relationship. I also believe that I can't hold onto any relationship.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, friends, and interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, the way you handle intimate relationships resembles the ambivalent attachment style in psychology. Ambivalent attachment is a type of insecure attachment that was discovered in the study of mother-infant relationships. It was proposed by American psychologist Ainsworth in 1978 based on the Strange Situation Test. Babies with this attachment style appear to be very vigilant when their mother is about to leave, and they become extremely distressed and resistant when the mother leaves, often crying loudly during even brief separations. However, when they are with their mother, they are unable to use her as a secure base for exploration. When the mother returns, their attitude toward her is conflicting, as they seek contact with her while also resisting it. They may get angry and push her away when she comes close. It seems difficult for them to return to playing games, as they frequently look towards the mother. (Information sourced from Baidu Baike) The attachment style established between an infant and their mother in early stages of development is often replicated in adult intimate relationships. Therefore, in your description, I see elements of the \"the more someone pursues me, the less I agree\" pattern and the desire to provoke the other person after they have calmed down or stepped back, to make them continue pursuing or to maintain the posture of retention. Furthermore, you often push away this person and the relationship over minor things, wanting to go back to square one, and frequently doubting whether this person truly loves you, often magnifying small details. These characteristics all appear to resemble the ambivalent attachment pattern. It seems that deep within your heart, there is a hidden belief: a lack of belief in being loved. To prove this belief, you try every possible way to collect \"evidence\" that this person doesn't love you enough, and unconsciously sabotage the relationship again and again. To improve these beliefs and establish a secure attachment style, it is recommended that you seek psychological counseling if conditions permit.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hey, OP. After reading your description, I want to give you a hug. It seems that your current pattern of dealing with problems traces back to your childhood, and it's likely that you have developed an ambivalent attachment style. This might be because, when you were young, your parents' care and comfort were not consistent, or their own unstable emotions affected you, causing inner instability. As a result, your relationship with caregivers became contradictory - you wanted closeness but also feared it, and even when close, you still felt unsafe. Early attachment patterns can indeed influence adult intimate relationships, often leading to a repetition of the past attachment patterns with partners. However, we cannot go back to childhood, and it's important to acknowledge that our parents also had their difficulties at that time. Blaming them excessively now serves no purpose. What we can do is focus on managing our current emotions, gradually stabilizing and feeling safe within ourselves. When we are caught in an ambivalent attachment style, our right brain becomes overly active, making it easy for emotions to overwhelm us, just like you mentioned - a small detail can be blown out of proportion and accumulate until it bursts. Therefore, it's crucial to learn how to manage our emotions. Here are some suggestions for you: 1. Cultivate the ability to recognize your inner emotional states. \"Recognize it, tame it\" is the first step toward building language capabilities in the left brain and linking them with more primitive, spontaneous emotions in the right brain. You can simply describe your feelings without having to explain them. 2. Keeping a journal can be very helpful for you. By using our left brain to tell a linear, logical, and language-based story about our lives, we can connect and integrate the left and right hemispheres of the brain. 3. Understand your emotions. Remember that emotions are not facts. This will help you categorize and organize your intense and rapid internal emotional world. For example, feeling rejected activates the same neural circuitry in the right brain as feeling physical pain. Once you understand this, you can use the \"recognize it, tame it\" method to acknowledge the pain of feeling rejected, but also realize that it's not necessarily true. By reflecting on it, you can restore calmness within yourself. 4. As your left brain continues to develop and collaborate closely with the right brain, explore how you can engage in more satisfying interactions with close relationships. Always remember that regardless of the emotions that arise, they are not facts. Sometimes, you might be overly sensitive to signals from others, allowing their emotions to impact you and lose your sense of self. At other times, your own internal feelings might make you feel unable to rely on others, although this assessment may be accurate, it can also be interfered with by an overly active attachment system. To feel safe, an overactive attachment system is highly vigilant about emotional connections. At such times, it's necessary to first understand your own psychology, empathize with others, understand their psychology, and then integrate, using the brain to combine different aspects into an internally connected whole. 5. An attachment relationship can feel like a matter of life and death. When we were very young, we relied on parents or other caregivers for food, water, and protection... If those who took care of us were unpredictable and uncertain, then when we enter adolescence or adulthood and stressful events occur in our lives, we feel very afraid and believe that no one can protect us, sometimes even feeling like our lives are at stake. Understanding this can be very helpful for you in identifying this feeling and not letting it consume you. 6. Strengthen your ability to observe your inner self. When you realize that past confusing or violently angry experiences were not because of any problem on your part but rather reflected emotional communication between you and your caregivers, you will be able to see that your current emotional responses are just echoes of the past. Allow the inner observer to provide you emotional space through narrating the course of events, so that your inner self becomes calm and you can see what is happening more clearly. Transformation is a process, so take it slow. It will get better over time (*\uffe3\ufe36\uffe3*).",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Dear OP, hello. From your description, it can be seen that you are very conflicted. You desire intimacy, but at the same time, you are afraid and want to push away. You hope that the other person will constantly pursue you and be in a state of chasing you in order to make you feel safe. Once conflicts arise, you want to escape, and if you return to the starting point, everything will be peaceful and beautiful, and these contradictions will no longer exist. In the process of getting along with the other person, you start from the conclusion of \"he doesn't love me\" and constantly gather evidence that he doesn't love you. Dear, do you feel tired in such a relationship? I have also been in a stage like yours, constantly worrying and doubting whether the other person loves me. I would blow a small thing out of proportion, while the other person's intentions are actually good. What the world lacks is not love but the eyes to see love. When we are in such a state, try to imagine that the other person is also tired. They have to constantly put aside their dignity and plead, and the love they give is constantly questioned and denied. First, you need to think about whether you love him. If you do, do you feel sorry for him being so tired? Can you consider his perspective? Monica and Chandler from the classic American sitcom \"Friends\" are a couple I really like, and their relationship is enviable. Chandler, due to a difficult childhood, has always lacked a sense of security. After a big fight with Monica, he used to say to her, \"I think we're done?\" Monica was very surprised and asked, \"What? Why?\" Chandler said, \"Because we just had a big fight.\" Monica found it unbelievable and said, \"A fight doesn't mean it's over.\" Chandler foolishly felt relieved and asked, \"Really?!\" Monica gave him a hug and said, \"Welcome to the world of adult love.\" I also want to introduce you to a new world of adult love. A mismatched communication or an uncomfortable experience does not mean that the other person doesn't love you or that the relationship should end. Even now, when conflicts arise, I still feel uneasy and want to push away from this relationship. But there is another voice in my heart telling me that this is not a mature mindset. Dealing with conflicts and solving the problem itself in a positive way is the mature thing to do. What you say about him not loving you or not caring about you is just your perception, not the reality itself. What you feel is based on how you interpret the facts. I have a friend whose husband is a bit reserved and not very romantic, but she thinks it's great. Sometimes, engineer-type guys need to be guided, and she is naturally romantic, so they can complement each other. Why not change your perspective and look for the small details of how he loves you? I believe there are many. Wishing you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "In other words, you don't want to be \"trapped\" in intimate relationships. Therefore, you don't seek to understand, learn, or develop methods for maintaining a stable intimate relationship. What you desire in a relationship is respect, maintaining distance, and preserving individual lives without interfering with each other's choices. When personal choices conflict with the stability of the relationship, personal choices take precedence over the other person's need for relationship stability. This is just my speculation, so it may not apply to you. Assuming my speculation is correct, you have taken the following actions to assert a dominant position in the relationship in order to fulfill your needs. \"In an intimate relationship, there is often a push-and-pull dynamic, especially during conflicts and disagreements. The more the other person seeks me, the less I am willing to agree. When the other person calms down and withdraws, I may feel the desire to provoke them again, to make them continue to pursue me or maintain a stance of retention.\" \"After investing myself in the relationship, I often find myself wanting to push away this person and the relationship after a disharmonious conversation, an uncomfortable experience, or even a small thing. I often doubt whether this person truly loves me. I tend to magnify small details and think to myself, 'See, he doesn't love me or care about me.' I silently keep these thoughts in mind until they accumulate and eventually explode, leading to a complete departure.\" I don't have any specific suggestions if my speculation is correct. You can choose to accept yourself in this way, face your needs, and seek someone who can accept this type of relationship (you may need to search worldwide). Of course, it is difficult to find such a person. They need to understand your worldview and be willing to break free from existing moral and universal values. They should be willing to try this kind of relationship and stand with you against societal constraints. However, be prepared for the possibility that they may revert to the common societal norms. Of course, I might be wrong, and you may have a different state of mind. Is there any misunderstanding about intimate relationships? You can choose to believe that a relationship can evolve into the state you imagine. Believe that two people can establish a stable relationship and that there are people who genuinely love you. Control your doubts about whether the other person loves you and base them on concrete evidence rather than subjective speculations... Of course, the cost is that you have to work hard to convince yourself to believe in the above content and to resist your inner self. Convince yourself to try this in every relationship and withstand it for a period of time (at least a observation period of no less than 3 months) before it can be considered as valid evidence. Of course, you can also choose to maintain the current situation, continue to repeat such behavior until you get bored, and then choose one of the two above options to try. There are other choices as well. If you are willing to provide more information, we can continue the discussion.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ It seems like you're caught in a \"self-fulfilling prophecy\" cycle as you enter into intimate relationships, repeatedly proving that the other person doesn't love you. This is a worrisome and changeable pattern of interaction. Self-fulfilling prophecy is a common phenomenon in psychology, which means that people unconsciously act in accordance with known prophecies, ultimately making the prophecies come true. It also means that expectations of others can influence their behavior, causing them to act according to those expectations. \"I often doubt whether this person really loves me. I magnify every small detail and say to myself, 'See, he just doesn't love me...' And this often becomes the ending of the story.\" \"Everyone has their own script of destiny,\" and sometimes we unconsciously act according to our own scripts, making the same mistakes over and over again. I suggest that you seek psychological counseling to understand your patterns of interaction in intimate relationships and, guided by appropriate methods, change yourself to gain a sense of security in your intimate relationships. Best wishes~.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From your description, it seems that you really enjoy being pampered, being paid attention to the details, and pursuing the absolute perfection in your ideal. However, in reality, finding someone who can completely pamper you and revolve around you, reaching the state of perfection, is almost impossible. Even if you search for 10,000 people, you may not find one. Do you really want to continue searching like this? If your goal is to prove that a perfect lover exists in this world, then you can do that. But if your goal is to live a happy life, then I suggest you adjust your expectations: find someone who can pamper you most of the time, and allow some arguments with them on certain issues. They should show their care for you on important occasions like birthdays, illnesses, and understanding your feelings, etc. However, don't get too caught up if they occasionally forget to reply to you when they are shopping, drinking with friends, or getting engrossed in a game. It won't be easy in the beginning, for sure. Your emotions may take over your mind. But if we don't overcome and ignore our emotions, we will forever be prisoners of our emotions, right? After all, emotions are never-ending, only reason can bring true value.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, hello. Seeing your description, I seem to see your helpless appearance in an intimate relationship. Please give yourself a loving hug. In daily life, many people have not formed healthy attachment relationships. In your relationship, you desire to be in an advantageous position, which may also be a manifestation of a lack of security. In love, it is not about who wins or loses, but about being able to promote each other's growth in the relationship. Perhaps you have been influenced by your family and feel that you are unable to keep someone, and in the end, anyone may leave you. Such beliefs will affect your thoughts and make you anxious about always losing, which will create more doubts. Whenever you discover something that aligns with your thoughts and coincidentally verifies your doubts, you will fall into a cycle. I think the best way is to honestly tell him your feelings, be your true self, and communication based on trust will promote the relationship. Lastly, be confident in yourself, recognize and believe in yourself, and be the best version of yourself. If you bloom, the gentle breeze will come. Best wishes!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I accidentally pressed \"Complete\" before finishing, and the content was already published. I don't know how to edit it, so I'm starting again. In my previous answer, I mentioned that you seem to be playing a love game. How do you feel about it? Playing this kind of game too often can make both parties feel tired and even resentful. Do you agree? From an attachment perspective, there may be some contradictions in your attachment relationship with your parents, especially with your mother, which makes you both want to get close and afraid to get close. The love given by your parents may make you feel conditional love. In adulthood, many intimate relationships often repeat the relationship with parents, making it difficult for you to determine whether the other person truly loves you in an intimate relationship, so you repeatedly use this push-pull method to confirm this love. Is it like this? From a cognitive perspective, you may have a belief in your heart that \"I am not lovable\". When this belief is triggered, you may feel pain and unease, and you try to prove your loveability through this push-pull method. Is it like this? If my guesses have offended you, please forgive me. If you really want to build a sincere and loving intimate relationship, you may need some time for psychological counseling to explore yourself and your relationships.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Often doubting whether this person truly loves me\" may seem like doubting others, but in essence, it's not believing in oneself, not believing that one is worthy of being loved. So no matter how much the other person loves you, it's useless because you don't believe it. At the same time, precisely because of this lack of belief (unwillingness to accept that nobody loves you), there is a greater longing to be truly loved, not tolerating any mistreatment. If you want to improve your ability to enter into intimate relationships, it is recommended to seek systematic counseling and allow yourself to grow in the capacity to love and be loved.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7647
       },
       {
        "question": "What should be done if a child has poor mental resilience and gets nervous when it comes to crucial moments in a competition?",
        "description": "When my child is playing badminton, they become nervous and lose their original level when they encounter opponents who are about the same skill level, especially when there is only one point difference. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth, child growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I saw your question, it immediately reminded me of my time in my final year of high school. During my senior year, I started living at home as I used to live with my relatives because it was closer to school. When I started living at home during my senior year, I would play table tennis with my father a few times a week. If I won, I would get a reward, but if I lost, I had to clean the house. Maybe because my father and I had similar table tennis skills, we would often play 7 games and it would usually come down to 10-10 or 9-10. Winning meant getting a reward, but losing meant having to clean the house, which was a tiring task since I had to squat and clean. So, I really didn't want to lose. During that time, my father would sometimes play unfairly, but I didn't really care, I just needed to win one more point. The main thing was not to let it affect my mindset. Maybe it was because of this constant challenge that on the day of my college entrance exam, I encountered unexpected problems in the math section. I didn't answer three major questions, but I was still able to handle it and concentrate on the other subjects for the exam the next day, thanks to my consistent performance in those subjects. Ultimately, I achieved a good score. I'm sharing this story with you to say that every child's growth opportunity might be different. What parents can do is patiently wait and be there for their children. Secondly, encourage them when they do things right. Although I don't think my father's way of encouragement can exactly be called encouragement, back then I really just wanted to win because I disliked cleaning the house. Maybe it indirectly motivated me to win. Lastly, encouragement doesn't necessarily have to be related to table tennis. Encouragement in other areas of life, through other small things, can also boost a child's confidence and influence their performance in table tennis, even in the final point. Finally, encourage reading, especially biographies of famous people. I used to read a lot of books about famous people and discovered how many of them overcame adversity in their lives. I would think about how to overcome my own challenges. In my heart, I developed a mindset of not being afraid of losing. Gradually, it started to affect my studies and daily life.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello there~ Nervousness may be due to poor mental resilience, but for children, this is very normal. Improving a person's mental resilience is not an overnight process. It primarily requires their own initiative to want to improve, while others can only guide. Don't place too much importance on the outcome, allow yourself to lose, allow yourself to fail. Being too concerned with gains and losses will make one worry excessively and add a lot of pressure. As a parent, you should tell them that it's okay to lose, as long as they try their best. Hone oneself through repeated competitions. This is the most direct and effective method. You should encourage them to have an objective view of the competition results, to objectively assess their own growth, and not judge success or failure based on the outcome. Encourage them to value the process more than the result, to prioritize attitude over winning or losing. Read countless books, travel thousands of miles, and help them find their life's value and the things that can give them strength. Take it slow. Best wishes~.",
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       {
        "question": "My mother tells me every day that I am fat. How should I adjust my mindset?",
        "description": "I am 160 centimeters tall and weigh 108 catties, which makes me slightly chubby with a pear-shaped body. I was chatting with my colleague about weight, and she said that because I have a small frame and a small face, I don't look fat, but I'm not very thin either. However, my mom keeps on criticizing me every single day. As soon as I get home from work, she starts saying things like, \"Why are you so fat? Look at your legs and your double chin. Who would want you like this?\" (I have a boyfriend, and she seems pretty satisfied with him.) Today, after I finished eating and had a drink, she saw and said, \"One day you will be killed by being overweight,\" speaking very definitively. I have had this weight for about four or five years now (before that, I was always very thin, around 90 catties, but I gained weight after falling in love), and she has been saying these things to me for four or five years. It's not an exaggeration to say that she says it every day. But the problem is, she is a little bit shorter than me and about 20 catties heavier than me. So why does she still act like I'm extraordinarily fat? I have told her before, \"Can you please stop talking about me? I will lose weight if I feel fat.\" But then she starts making sarcastic comments, and she refuses to have a proper conversation with me; she only wants to say whatever pleases her. I'm frustrated every day, and if she keeps going on like this, I might go crazy.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, when I saw your question, I felt like I found another version of myself. It's truly the same world and the same maternal figure, dear friend. Beauty in this world should not be limited to just one form. Different body types have their own beauty, whether it's being curvy or slim, each has its own charm. I hope you can understand this. Other people's definition of you does not fully represent who you are. Your beauty should not only be defined by being \"slim\". I have also been through similar experiences as a woman, and I hope my answer can provide you with some advice and warmth. First, your body shape is not really that bad. Everyone has a different perception of weight and body size. According to your description: (1) your body proportions are within the healthy range. With a height of 160cm and a weight of 108 catties (approximately 120 pounds), to be honest, you are not considered overweight at all. Your weight-to-height ratio is very healthy, and this body shape will not put a great burden on your body. (2) Although your weight and height are normal, your body shape may not be ideal. You have a slightly pear-shaped body. The thing to understand is that there is a difference between \"body shape\" and \"body weight\". Some people may not weigh much (108 catties for someone who is 160cm is not considered heavy), but they may lack the effort to shape their own body. For example, if you often look down at your phone with your head lowered, it can lead to wrinkles on your chin and neck. For example, if you frequently slouch and don't straighten your back, it can lead to a hunched back. Actually, you are not really fat, but your body shape needs some adjustment. (3) Having a small face is an advantage. It doesn't appear fat, but if you don't learn how to enhance yourself and improve your temperament, even a small face like yours can appear chubby. Based on your description, your colleague mentioned that because of your small bone structure and face, you don't look fat, but you are also not considered very thin. In other words, your problem is not really about your weight, but rather about your self-image. The desire for beauty is something everyone has. Every woman, regardless of height or weight, hopes to have her own unique charm in the eyes of others. As a girl, you shouldn't belittle yourself. Second, your psychological issues don't really stem from your weight, but rather from the emotional and love-related traumas you have experienced. True beauty comes from within. I hope you can find the root cause of why you are being belittled in front of your mother. Only then can you overcome the psychological shadows she has caused you. (1) Reason one: Your mother is imposing her aesthetic standards on you, making you feel guilty. To be honest, your mother has indeed hurt you. Even though our parents rarely engage in self-reflection, they may even believe that being critical of their children is a form of love. But why does your mother care so much about your weight? It is very likely that she herself is someone who is very focused on her own body shape. Even if you have one extra drink, your mother will respond with a decisive remark that has a negative impact on you. Because in your mother's heart, she has an invisible expectation for you. She wants you to become slim and beautiful just like her ideal, and she may even hope that you can fulfill her unfulfilled dreams of being slender. But we cannot live in our parents' fantasies forever. Even though we are born and raised by our parents, it does not mean that we are their possessions. You have your own aesthetic sense, your own world. And this is something your mother doesn't understand. (2) Reason two: The biggest fear of every mother who has a daughter is to see her child get hurt in relationships. Whether your mother's messages are reminders or strikes, they actually stem from her unconscious fear of losing you. I have experienced gaining weight while being in love. When two people in a relationship enjoy eating, drinking, and having fun together, the happy calories inevitably increase. Even though I weighed around 80 pounds at that time, after being in a relationship, I gained weight and reached 100 pounds. At that time, I was actually happy, as my partner (my ex now) always said that a slightly overweight girl is cute. But mothers who have experienced the vicissitudes of life have even more crisis awareness. They fear that you will lose yourself in love, neglect your own appearance, and end up becoming unattractive due to being caught up in a hazy love. They fear that if you become overweight due to love, you will be hurt by the other person. They fear that you will be immersed in love and forget the discipline of self-control that a girl should maintain. And their biggest fear is that once you fall in love, you will no longer care about her. At this moment, a mother feels lonely. Actually, your mother has always used various forms of criticism, strikes, and sometimes even hurtful words because she has a sense of \"crisis\". She fears that once you have someone you like, you will no longer care about her. In this world, she genuinely cares about you. However, she has chosen the wrong approach. I hope you don't resent your mother excessively. If possible, I hope you can see yourself through your mother's eyes. You will discover that beneath the teasing and hurtful words, there is her grievances. Third, my mom criticizes me for being fat every day. How can I adjust my mindset? I would like to provide the following suggestions. When you understand why your mother treats you this way, perhaps you can learn to reconcile with her. It can also be an opportunity for you to become a better, more independent, and confident person. Suggestion one: Open and honest communication will always make a difference in resolving conflicts with family members rather than resorting to passive aggression. Share your feelings with your mom. In fact, mothers are also women. Mothers also have strong self-esteem, so they have their own pride. At times like this, instead of having a cold war or arguing with your mother, it's better to find an opportunity to sit down calmly and have a heart-to-heart conversation. Your mother worries about your weight and fears you will be hurt in relationships. You need to let your mother know that no matter who you become in the future, whether as a wife or a mother, you will always be the daughter who loves her. You want to give her peace of mind, so you also need to earn her trust. Through parent-child communication, let down your guard against each other. Let your mother know that you have grown up and some of her words have hurt your self-esteem. Only with mutual understanding can you avoid conflicts. Suggestion two: If you want to improve your relationship with your mother, you need to learn to be tolerant and patient. Mothers also need to be comforted. They say a kind word can warm you in the winter, but a hurtful word can make you feel cold in June. We must acknowledge that your mother actually has some personality problems, and when you face her criticism, you may feel pain. The pain produces anxiety in both parties, which is not conducive to your psychological well-being. Your mother must have a straightforward personality and sometimes speaks without considering the feelings of the listener. So, when your mother keeps nagging, you can choose to mentally \"drift away.\" Maybe she's just having a bad day or lost money while playing cards, or she's upset because the groceries were more expensive. She just wants to vent her frustrations by picking on you. In these moments, do not argue with her. You can try nodding, smiling in silence, or even giving her a warm hug. My own mother often scolds me, even now that she's past her fifties, her words often make me sad. But I know that parents endure many grievances in their own world. So, when she is unhappy, I would go out and buy her a bunch of her favorite red roses. When she is in a bad mood, I would give her a beautiful lipstick. Even though she still speaks harshly, I would tell her that I will work hard to lose weight and not let myself become overweight. At this point, she won't say anything further because she knows she has received my warmth. Suggestion three: Being a pear-shaped woman doesn't necessarily mean you should feel inferior. Learn to dress up and make yourself even more beautiful! I am also a pear-shaped woman, with wide shoulders and hips. Even if my weight does not increase, I always feel like the clothes I wear are not flattering enough. In reality, there are no \"ugly\" girls in this world, only lazy girls. It requires effort on your part. My suggestions are: (1) You must learn to enhance your appearance and compensate for any shortcomings through clothing. Improve your fashion sense. You can watch videos by fashionable bloggers to learn about different clothing styles that suit you. Find out which hairstyle and accessories suit you. You will discover that even pear-shaped girls can showcase their own sense of style. (2) Learn to accentuate your strengths and avoid focusing on weaknesses. Maintain a basic skincare routine and regularly hydrate and cleanse your face. If possible, treat yourself to a full-body beauty spa once a month. It can help you relax and improve your skin quality, delaying the aging process. (3) Beauty comes from self-discipline. I hope you can improve your confidence by shaping yourself. As a working woman, your life is busy. Modern society puts more pressure on women, and work worries, daily trivialities, and family conflicts can make you feel exhausted. So, when you are in love, it's easy for us to neglect self-management. However, self-discipline will result in a higher quality of life. Therefore, no matter how busy life gets, I hope you do not neglect self-care. Consider joining a dance class, yoga class, or trying out a gym. Persist in doing some aerobic exercises, such as running, on a weekly basis. Cultivate good habits of going to bed and waking up early. Only by doing so, will you earn more respect and praise. Fourth, a woman's confidence comes from within. Only you can define your own beauty. Regardless of your age or weight, as long as you are willing, you can radiate your own unique charm. Don't lose yourself because of others' opinions. Adjust your mindset, live seriously, and know that you deserve all the happiness. Thank you for reading. Feel free to like and follow me.",
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          "answer_text": "Hug you, dear OP, it must be really difficult for you to live under your mother's criticism every day! #My mom calls me fat every day, how should I adjust my mindset? In fact, a survey once showed that only 20% of people are satisfied with their body shape, and among women, only 4% are satisfied with their own body shape. Everyone may have more or less expectations, and your mother may be the same. Although she thinks she is doing it for your own good, these \"nagging\" words make us feel uncomfortable. It's like a story I once heard; a wife loves her husband very much and would cut apples and put toothpicks in them every day, waiting for him to eat. But the husband doesn't like apples at all, so he said to his wife, \"Are you crazy? Why do you peel apples for me every day?\" The wife feels very wronged, \"I love you so much, I peel the apples for you every day, why do you criticize me like this?\" However, the wife didn't realize that the husband hates eating apples. Sometimes people in life will do the same, they will say things that make us uncomfortable in the name of love. But we cannot deny that they care about us, it's just that their way of showing it is not what we want. Actually, we have grown up and can take responsibility for our own choices and actions. At such times, excessive interference from parents in our lives will make us feel like we have lost our boundaries. If you violate my boundaries, then I won't be myself anymore, and naturally, I will feel uncomfortable. For words like this, perhaps all we need to know is that they care about us, but they have used the wrong method. Just let it go, and then tell them, \"I know you want what's best for me, thank you for your concern, but I am already an adult who can take responsibility for my own actions. But still, thank you.\" After all, we are all adults now.",
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          "answer_text": "Hug you (\u3065\uffe3\u25bd\uffe3)\u3065 It must be really difficult for you to have a mother who constantly belittles you, undermines you, constantly nitpicks, and can't communicate with you. Hug you. Actually, your figure is very good, not fat at all. The dearest mother who should love you, care for you, and cherish you, actually criticizes her daughter like this. Even if you have a correct understanding of yourself, it is still inevitable to be sad.\u25a0 What was your attachment relationship with your mother like when you were a child? \u25a0 What is your mother's personality like? \u25a0 Does she treat others the same way she treats you? Don't be sad.1. {She's a little shorter than me and about 20 pounds heavier than me, but why does she still say I'm so fat.} Your mother is so concerned about your figure that based on her own condition, she must be very dissatisfied with her own figure.\u25a0 \"Projection effect\" refers to the tendency to attribute one's own characteristics to others. In cognition and forming impressions of others, people assume that others have similar traits to themselves, projecting their own emotions, wills, and characteristics onto others and imposing them on others, which is a cognitive obstacle of pushing oneself onto others. \"Projection makes people perceive others according to what kind of person they are, rather than perceiving them according to the true situation of the observed person.\" (Baidu) Your mother is not just scolding you, but also herself, her dissatisfaction with her own figure is hidden in her subconscious. Your mother is actually very insecure about her own figure, but she wants to maintain her \"dominant\" dominance in front of her daughter, so she always sees (projects) her own shortcomings in your gradual weight gain. The emotions resulting from her dissatisfaction with her figure are vented through verbal attacks on you. Therefore, she won't communicate with you in a good way, she has to say it to feel relieved.2. {As soon as I get home, she starts saying how fat I am, look at your legs and double chin, who would want you (I have a boyfriend, she is quite satisfied with that kind).} Seeing this, I can't help but be curious about your father and mother's relationship, whether your father has ever despised your mother's figure. But what can be certain is that your mother worries that she will be rejected or abandoned by her boyfriend after she becomes fat. She is afraid that you will continue to gain weight and become like her. Is this a kind of love from your mother? If she didn't love you, she would be more likely to let you continue to gain weight and not care about you. It's just that her approach has changed from persuasion to verbal attacks, which hurts you. 3. {I have had this weight for about four or five years (four or five years ago, I used to be very thin, around 90 pounds, but gained weight after falling in love), and she has been saying this to me for four or five years, not an exaggeration, every day.} According to research, being in love does make it easy for people to gain weight. However, is your mother worried about your growth, your future, and the loss of self in love? 4. {In addition to calling me fat, she also suppresses me in other ways, in her eyes, I have no shining points.} Hug you~ being oppressed by your mother all the time, you must have lived a very stifled life. Every word your mother says stabs you like a knife, breaking your heart over and over again. But you must believe in yourself, you have shining points of your own.\u25a0 (My mother often disapproves of me too, often scolds me in rough language. I also often think that she can't see my strengths, she doesn't trust me, she doesn't believe in my abilities. But we love each other. She just wants me to become better and more outstanding.) Also, I want to ask, how do you evaluate your mother? Does your mother have any shining points in your eyes? You mentioned your grandmother in the quiet comments, was your grandmother the reason for your mother's transformation? \u25a0 Verbal expression doesn't work with your mother. Have you tried written communication? Would written expression be better? Write a letter or send a message to your mother. \u25a0 When writing, writing or typing will give your brain more time to think, so that your mother will no longer be influenced by projection effects and can calmly consider her own language. \u25a0 (What can you do when your mother belittles you? Of course, forgive her. Invite your mother to lose weight together. Make vegetable salads together, eat together, go for a run together. Let your mother know that you are taking practical actions to lose weight, not just talking. Wishing you and your mother can solve problems together and make progress together! The world and I love you.)",
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          "answer_text": "Sometimes it's not our fault, and we can't calm ourselves down no matter how much we try to adjust. It's clear that the OP's mother is verbally attacking them, and I think it's important for you to have a serious conversation with your mother and let her know that her words are hurting you, and ask her to stop. If she continues to say hurtful things, then you need to distance yourself from her for the sake of your mental and physical health. Some people are just very negative and can find fault in anything, and they don't even realize that they're hurting others. Their words are irrational and purely emotional venting. There are so many truly overweight people in the world, does everyone have someone in their life who dislikes them for being overweight? Even if you succeed in losing weight, she might still criticize your salary or your boyfriend's looks, and so on. You will never be able to meet the demands of such people. But that's not our problem. We need the courage to separate ourselves from these people and surround ourselves with those who value and respect us. Give your mother a few chances, but in your heart, you need to have a sense of how long this situation can continue. After a few chances, you need to make it clear where you stand and move out to protect your emotions. For now, try to keep your distance from her and reduce the time you spend with her. If reasoning with her isn't possible, then you can only avoid her. Then actively plan your own life, because in the future, you will be living with your partner, not with your mother for the rest of your life. You can move out first and have your own life. Once you become independent, you'll have a voice, and the distance between you two won't be so close, so her temper should become more restrained. Keep going, because we all need to grow up and not be trapped in the gloom of a negative family forever. Give yourself some patience and time, and believe that you deserve a better life and people.",
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          "answer_text": "Do you have any evidence to prove that being fat is the most reliable? Marked: The normal range of body fat ratio for Chinese women is 20 to 25. With a height of 160 cm and a weight of 54 kg, according to the BMI calculation method in our country, your body fat ratio is 21.1, which is considered normal and slightly thin. Therefore, your mother's statement has no factual basis and therefore lacks credibility. Let's take a look at the pear-shaped body type. According to Zhihu: Chinese name - pear-shaped body, English name - pear shape, target group - women with narrow shoulders, slim waist, wide hips, and full thighs. Advantages - helps prevent diabetes and promote longevity. The narrow shoulders are visually slimming, and the full hips not only reflect healthy reproductive ability but also highlight the slim waist, showing feminine beauty. It looks thin while still having some flesh. It cannot be determined whether it can prevent diabetes, but from the perspective of a healthy body shape, longevity seems plausible. Now, you can properly accept your body shape and figure. As for your mother's baseless talk, it's just her own complaint. Just listen to it and let it go with a graceful smile. Relax and enjoy the health of your body and the happiness of love. If you are concerned about the pear-shaped body and worried about the perceived imperfections based on prevailing aesthetic standards, there are various ways to enhance visual effects through clothing, such as avoiding tight-fitting pants, wearing high-waisted pencil skirts, fitted dresses, and slim tops with wide-legged pants, which can both lengthen the body proportion and showcase a graceful and sexy figure.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, I've seen your troubles and hope to be able to help you. From your description, it's clear that your mom is extremely concerned about your weight and figure, and she mentions it almost every day, which has caused you a lot of pressure. I truly understand your feelings and emotions. Let's try to adjust and improve from several aspects: First, understanding your mom's anxiety. What is the reason behind her putting so much energy into focusing on your weight? Is her constant emphasis on this matter to some extent a reflection of her anxiety? What is it that truly makes her anxious? Is there a personal reason for her, and is your weight just a topic she borrowed? Or is this truly her way of expressing her concern for you? Or is it that some inner needs of hers haven't been fulfilled? Similar to the example \"Your mom thinks you're cold,\" your mom thinking you're fat might also be a reflex of habitually wanting control. Some things that seem like her dissatisfaction with you may actually be her dissatisfaction with herself\u2026 Carefully consider these questions and try to look at this matter from a different perspective; you will gain new understanding and knowledge about your mom, which may alleviate your resistance to some extent. Secondly, have a correct perception of yourself. The reason your mom's nagging makes you feel pressured is probably because what she says is also what you care about. If you truly care, then put more energy into actually executing weight loss, don't let anxious emotions carry you away, as excessive pressure can also lead to weight gain. Try telling your mom that you understand her good intentions and hope she can help you find more effective methods for weight loss instead of adding more pressure. Thirdly, encourage your mom to establish her own social circle. If your mom has more hobbies and her own social circle, her excessive focus on you will be reduced. Try helping your mom cultivate meaningful and beneficial hobbies, so she can direct more attention back to herself. Increase the expression of your care, try to change the pattern of negation between each other, and learn to establish positive emotional interactions through warm language. It can also help both you and her overcome anxiety. If you can't change others, then strive to become a better version of yourself. Wishing you new achievements every day.",
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          "answer_text": "In this society where thinness is considered beautiful, being called fat is like an attack for girls. It is being criticized for not being good enough, not beautiful enough, even though you are not actually fat. Being constantly criticized and blamed by the closest person to you, your own mother, it must be really difficult for you. Maybe when your mother criticizes you, it's not because there is something you need to correct, but because she herself has some unresolved issues or emotions. From your description, I have a feeling that you are like a scapegoat, bearing what your mother cannot bear herself. Maybe she is not satisfied with herself, especially if she is overweight, and she doesn't want or doesn't have the ability to change it. So, she channels this dissatisfaction, criticism, and blame onto you, because it is easier to blame others than to reflect on oneself. Perhaps your mother herself has always been criticized, belittled, or grew up in a habitual blaming family, so she has learned this communication style. Another possibility is that you have obtained something that your mother wants but cannot have, so she is happy for you on one hand, but unconsciously jealous and unconsciously attacks you on the other. Maybe your boyfriend perfectly fits the type that your mother is satisfied with, while your father currently doesn't meet her expectations. Your current relationship might trigger many associations for her. Daughters are spiritually connected with their mothers, so try to understand the reasons behind your mother's constant criticisms. Maybe then you can find a way to resolve the issue. Being constantly criticized is uncomfortable, and arguing back is often ineffective. You can try giving her positive feedback instead. For example, if she says you are fat, you can respond, \"Mom, do you want me to be prettier?\" Break the cycle of blame, praise your mother at the right time, and encourage her to learn how to praise instead of learning how to criticize from you.",
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          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello! I'm glad to be able to help you with your questions, and I hope my answer can be of assistance to you. [Question] 1) The mother feels that the questioner is overweight, so she always brings up the issue of weight. [My analysis] 1) Based on the description of the questioner's own situation, this body proportions cannot be considered overweight at all. If you insist on becoming as skinny as a celebrity, it will actually harm your health. So, the questioner must not overly worry about whether their weight is overweight. 2) You have maintained this weight for nearly four to five years, and your mother has been commenting on it for that same length of time. The questioner mentioned that their mother is even more overweight than them by over twenty catties. Perhaps that is why she wants her daughter to achieve the body image that she desires. However, things in life are unpredictable, and not everything will go as desired. What you need to do is to strive to change your mother's mistaken thinking. 3) The questioner already has a boyfriend who is satisfied with their weight, so you have found someone who accepts you despite your imperfections. This is happiness! [My advice] 1) Work together with your boyfriend to communicate with your mother. Let your mother understand the importance of being healthy before being beautiful. The so-called health means that the weight and height ratio meets the BM international health standards. Then, tell your mother that your body is under your own control, and she shouldn't impose requirements on you that you cannot meet. This way, both parties can coexist harmoniously. Since we are destined to be mother and daughter, why can't we enjoy the fate of meeting each other? Merely lecturing and criticizing will never solve the problem, but only create greater conflicts. 2) Take some time apart from each other and open up your hearts to have a sincere conversation. If you don't want to talk face to face, you can express your grievances through WeChat or other text messages. Then, spend some time apart from each other, allowing your mother to reflect on her own mistakes. Time is a good medicine that can heal the soul and also heal the relationship. 3) Have a balanced diet and exercise. Your mother's initial intention of criticizing is nothing more than wanting you to become beautiful, slim, and to become her source of pride. But you must believe: only the closest people will argue with you, and that doesn't mean that your mother's approach is correct. Both parties need to compromise. You can talk to your mother about your recent fitness and dietary plans. Make an effort to win a good figure through exercise, which will not only satisfy your mother, but also greatly improve your own temperament and physical fitness. In conclusion, take action. Success only requires two steps: starting and persevering. Best wishes~.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello! According to your current situation, you are not considered overweight based on different calculation methods. So don't be discouraged! Perhaps your mother's comment about you being fat is mainly based on your previous weight. Maybe she just wants to stimulate you to lose weight and return to your previous weight through sarcastic remarks. The state of the human body itself is dynamically balanced, so maybe you can try telling her not to discuss weight issues in a sarcastic way. It's not good for you to compare your weight with your mother's weight and feel that she is heavier than you and that you are fat. After all, different stages of life have different body conditions, and there will be differences in weight. I hope you can maintain a positive mindset. Finally, I wish you a pleasant mood and a quick resolution to this issue!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, actually, your body proportions cannot be considered as overweight. With a height of 160 cm and a weight of 108 jin, as long as you engage in moderate exercise and have a balanced diet, I believe you can maintain a very good physique. The issues you mentioned are more related to the psychological aspect. In a family, a mother plays a significant role and is often referred to as \"family style\". From your description, it seems more like you lack a sense of security and recognition. Due to your own difficulties in certain areas, maybe you redirect your anger towards related people or things as a way to vent your inner imbalance. If we only consider your physical condition, it may be a bit far-fetched. More importantly, it is reflected in your overall life performance that she excessively interferes with and cares about you. Honestly, this type of care makes you feel uncomfortable, as if others commenting positively means they don't understand you, and her not saying anything good deeply hurts you. Of course, it cannot be ruled out that there are other aspects that she considers as problematic. Therefore, it is difficult to say how sunny and happy our inner world is when growing up under the scrutiny of such elders. In your case, what you feel most is the sense of injustice. Her criticisms may indeed be well-intentioned, but due to her strong personality and improper approach, it has created a conflict between you. In psychology, there is a term called \"killing kinship\", the closer the person is to you, the more they want to change and influence you to become the person they hope you to be. At the same time, it casts a shadow on our young hearts, a psychological desire to \"grow up quickly, leave her and this environment as soon as possible, and preferably never have any contact again\", silently growing as we age. So, why do you have such a strong sense of resistance within yourself? Let's start with our own personality and environment\u2014where there is oppression, there will be resistance, especially for those who appear to be strong-willed and independent on the surface, but have a strong contradictory personality internally, similar to Su Mingyu in the TV series \"All Is Well\". Family relationships do indeed have a significant impact on our emotions. A fragile heart is hidden beneath a strong aura. In fact, each of us is insecure, to varying degrees, preventing us from controlling our emotions and leading to the venting of emotions and releasing of pressure. Therefore, I can understand your current confusion and distress. Here are a few suggestions you can consider: 1. Your relationship has become so strained that neither of you is willing to take a step back to resolve this conflict. In this case, rely on time and distance to resolve it. The more she tries to control you, the more you resist. However, further improvement may be achieved through the distance of time and space, as distance makes the heart grow fonder. 2. In fact, for this type of parent, try using appeasement as a way to handle the situation. This is their weakness. When you display strength, they naturally won't know how to respond. Perhaps your personality is unwilling to accept and adopt this approach, otherwise the relationship would have improved a long time ago. However, I still suggest you give it a try. 3. Most of the time, you express your complaints or grievances. When you have the ability to change everything, the surrounding environment will treat you gently. Do not treat people who are not on the same level as you with equal courtesy. Show generosity, and life will naturally reward you with more and better things. Refer to the story of \"Fang Bao's Filial Piety\" for inspiration. 4. In the face of family troubles, we can escape to society. But if we encounter many people like this in society, how will you choose? We need to learn effective abilities to judge people and cope with situations. Consider studying color psychology. 5. She has her hardships and you have your own helplessness. When you cannot change reality, learn to adapt and influence it. This type of personality is inherently dominant internally but timid and weak externally. Character flaws have already made you experience a lot of injustices. I hope that the hardships we experience can lead us to greater achievements. No one is born entitled to anything. Treating others and yourself with magnanimity is an important practice in life's journey. I hope this helps. Best of luck in everything.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 15433
       },
       {
        "question": "How to control anger, as it is difficult to manage this emotion? How can one prevent oneself from getting angry?",
        "description": "My aunt came to my grandmother's house and regardless of my father's and my attitude, she verbally abused my grandmother with extremely malicious language. Although my grandmother is not an easy target either, it makes me very angry. This place is equivalent to my home, so what gives her the right to curse here? It really upsets everyone, and my good mood is completely destroyed. I can't believe that after not cursing enough in her own home, she comes to mine. I really don't want to say those unpleasant words, but I'm becoming angrier and angrier. How can I control this kind of emotion? What should I do in the face of such verbal attacks?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, nice to meet you. First of all, I understand your situation from the description. It is indeed uncomfortable and even disheartening when something like this happens with a family member, and it must have had a significant impact on your life and family. In this situation, the fact that you can still control your emotions and seek solutions shows that you are really composed and it's not easy. Secondly, a person's personality is usually more or less influenced by their original family. From what you mentioned about your aunt and grandmother, it seems that there may be some influence and correlation between their behavior. This kind of situation also angers your emotions, which can be related to your personality. And from a psychological perspective, a person's emotions are usually a projection of their inner self, and different emotions represent different inner desires. The anger you mentioned indicates that you have certain expectations for the words and actions of your family members in your heart, but in reality, their behavior doesn't meet your inner expectations, which is why you feel angry. In such a situation, if it happens at the time, I suggest that you can choose to distance yourself from the source of stimulation, then adjust your breathing and calm yourself down. At this time, using diaphragmatic breathing can be helpful and relieving for you. However, one thing to note is that you must focus on your breathing and it must be diaphragmatic! If you are not proficient at first, you can put your hand on your abdomen and feel the rise and fall of your abdomen with each breath. Remember: Do not use chest breathing, as it will only make you angrier. Lastly, the above methods are only addressing the symptoms, not the root cause. I suggest that if you want to improve your emotional control ability from the source, you can choose to seek professional counseling in personal growth to further enhance your emotional mastery. I hope that the current situation in your family can change as soon as possible so that you are no longer affected.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 4080
       },
       {
        "question": "23-year-old male with bipolar disorder, recently experiencing recurring violent thoughts in his mind for the past year.",
        "description": "I am 23 years old and a patient with bipolar disorder. It was probably when I was 13 or 14 years old, during junior high school, that my classmates gave me a derogatory nickname. At that time, I didn't know how to express anger and dissatisfaction. I suppressed my anger for a long time without anyone to confide in. Gradually, I realized that I might have depression (around the age of 16) and was diagnosed with depression at the hospital. After long-term observation, the doctor found that I have bipolar disorder (depression combined with mania). Then, in the past year, I had the courage to curse the classmate who gave me the nickname in the WeChat class group using foul language, but he did not respond at all. I thought that by doing this, I would be able to let go of this matter, but I couldn't. The conflict with them continues to play out in my mind, both verbally and physically. I can easily beat down weaker opponents. But when facing a stronger opponent than me, all I can do is endure their mockery and turn away. I rush forward, grab his neck, and forcefully dig out his eyeballs with my two fingers. This is how my anger manifests (these are not thoughts I intentionally imagine). Right now, there is even the thought flashing in my mind, \"I can only find relief by killing him.\" I feel like I'm going crazy.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological crisis, mental disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading your question, you mentioned some of your past experiences that have caused you a lot of distress and worry. When recalling those memories, you still remember the nicknames your classmates gave you in middle school, which made you feel humiliated, embarrassed, and aggrieved. However, you have not spoken to anyone about this inner pain and have instead kept it deeply suppressed in your heart. Did you know that each of our hearts is like a bottle? When it is filled with suppressed negative emotions such as anger, resentment, and pain, if we don't process them for a long time, these negative emotions will fill our hearts like dirty water. As a result, you may feel pain, a sense of being overwhelmed, and terrifying images appearing in your mind, which are actually reminding you that \"your heart is already filled with dirty water and can't take anymore.\" This overflowing dirty water beyond your control expresses itself in the form of images. Therefore, what you need to do now is to release your negative emotions. Of course, the release of these negative emotions requires the guidance of a professional teacher. Although you have made some attempts before (insulting others in a WeChat group), and it had some effect, the accumulated dirty water from many years cannot be poured out quickly in a short period of time, and it may require more direct methods. After gradually releasing these emotions, we can truly begin to adjust our cognition and beliefs, and step by step move forward. Explore your inner self and find the deep-rooted reasons for your habit of suppressing emotions. Although these uncomfortable events are caused by the group of classmates in middle school, there seems to be a deeper reason behind it. I wonder when you learned to suppress emotions in your childhood memories and no longer express yourself to people around you, even unwilling to talk to your own parents about your own affairs? These experiences may be the roots of your habit of suppressing yourself. If you truly want to break free from this state, dealing with the previous negative emotions is only the first step. It is more important to improve your way of expressing emotions, otherwise, the bottle in your heart will gradually accumulate dirty water and similar problems will arise again. I hope the above reply is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The main subject feels that everything that comes to mind is not something they subjectively want to do. It is just that when we are most helpless and need help from others, no one stands up, and some even mock us, causing us to accumulate negative emotions. I wonder how the main subject's family has viewed this matter over the past few years, and whether they have given us enough care and help? In fact, many people encounter situations similar to the main subject's when they are studying. I remember when I was in school, I was also given some derogatory nicknames by others. At that time, I was also small and wanted to resist but didn't dare to. I secretly wiped away tears on several occasions. Later, I met an upperclassman who told me that many people have nicknames, but some are given by people who are closer to us, while others are intentionally given by people who want to demean others. Therefore, we need to understand what this nickname means to ourselves. If the other person is just intentionally demeaning us, then such a person is not worthy of respect. The best way to deal with it is to ignore them. If we confront this kind of person, they will only get more aggressive, but if we completely ignore them, they will lose their power. If it's a good friend of ours, then we can tell them that we don't like this nickname and hope they can consider our feelings. I believe they will be more restrained. The main subject said that they later cursed at the other person in a WeChat group, and although it felt somewhat relieving at the time, the other person did not respond. Is there a sense of helplessness? The conflicts from before still come to mind. It seems that only by eliminating them can we erase the grievances we have suffered. But I believe that the main subject is not a bad person, nor do they really want to hurt others. It's just that we haven't released our negative emotions, which has caused our internal anger to grow. Therefore, we can try to say goodbye to the past and let go of some things slowly. If necessary, we can talk to a professional counselor and use a combination of medication and therapy. At the same time, we can communicate with our family to see if we can get their support. Believe in yourself, we can overcome this. The world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Perhaps, everyone has a little monster in their hearts, roaring inside, maybe trying to tell us something. Ten years ago, classmates gave you a nickname, and you didn't know how to express your anger and discontent. Later, you developed bipolar disorder. A year ago, you cursed the classmates who gave you the nickname, but still couldn't let go, and conflicts with them played out in your mind. As far as I know, many primary and secondary school students give each other nicknames, and some of these nicknames are insulting and demeaning, which can cause conflicts. As we grow older, we gradually let go of the jokes from our youth. Ten years have passed, and you still hold on to that nickname. Perhaps, at that time, this incident had a big impact on you, and you didn't express your anger and dissatisfaction, leaving it bottled up inside you. Generally speaking, adolescence is a time of impulsivity. Your current behavior is much like that of an impulsive teenager, not quite like a mature 23-year-old. It feels like you want to fulfill a wish that you couldn't fulfill in your youth. Perhaps all these years, what you can't forgive is not the classmates who gave you the nickname, but yourself for not fiercely retaliating back then. Maybe you weren't suppressing your anger, but enjoying exacting revenge. Your life would have been very different. Many gruesome cases show that impulsivity is the devil. Your initial choice wasn't too bad; true heroes are those who can endure. Like Han Xin. Ten years ago, none of you were mature, so forgive them and forgive yourself. Let go of past grievances and move forward with strength. You are now a powerful young person, and the future is promising.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 5493
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I constantly force myself to drool?",
        "description": "I feel like I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, and it's quite severe. I frequently have insomnia and believe that I will always be in a constant state, continuously going on without stopping. I'm truly mentally exhausted.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling, mental disorders",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. You have a behavior of forcing yourself to salivate and your sleep quality is not great. You can feel that you are mentally exhausted in this state and you want to get rid of it. You mentioned that you believe you will always be in a certain state, a type that will continue indefinitely. Have you ever tried to think that you may temporarily be unable to change your current state? Maybe it's related to the definition you have given yourself, that you cannot change. In daily life, whenever a similar behavior occurs, you think, \"I am someone who cannot change,\" and then your behavior really cannot be changed, following that line of thought. However, with the right approach, your current state can be changed. Have you ever tried to think about whether you can control yourself from salivating in daily life? Isn't it a great progress if you can control yourself once? Don't worry, you just need to gently divert your thoughts away from the idea of salivating and focus on what you are currently doing. If you are not successful at once, don't rush, it's normal, take it slowly. Additionally, I suggest that you seek help from a top-tier hospital's mental health department and consult with a doctor. Professional treatment can help you recover gradually. These are just some suggestions I have, I hope they can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 19766
       },
       {
        "question": "Doing things that other people think is right or being praised for it makes me feel fake and unhappy.",
        "description": "I have always felt unhappy, but recently I realized that it is fake self that is causing me a lot of pain. For example, I am very selfish, but I know that selfish people have no friends. When relatives give me things, I say I don't want them, but deep down I really want them, and I take them. Next time, I will return the favor because I am afraid that others will say I am selfish. This kind of transactional interaction is very tiring for me. My aunt often says that there are things in her house that I can take home, and in reality, I really want them. But I immediately say I don't want them, because I start worrying that they might say I am very selfish and always want to take things home. When I go out to eat with friends, if I pay the bill, I feel resentful, but if she pays the bill, I worry that she will say I am selfish or splitting the bill seems awkward. When others ask me for help, I don't want to help at all, but I reluctantly do it. I think I calculate things very clearly: you help me, I will help you, but deep down, I am selfish and don't want to share, don't want to help. I have a sense of detachment from the world. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I was given away to someone else when I was born. In my foster mother's home, I was stubborn, but when my mother hit me, I became afraid to express my emotions and thoughts. Each time, I only did what others thought was right or what would earn me praise.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-acceptance, and life meaning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, I can feel that you are not happy with what you are doing, and I am also touched by your courage. Sending you warm hugs! From your description, I have summarized a few points: fearing being called selfish, finding reciprocation tiring, always doing things that make others happy and gain their approval, and not knowing how to say no appropriately. In light of your description, let me share my thoughts: good friends are there to trouble each other. Building interpersonal relationships is based on continuous interaction, and good interpersonal relationships make both parties feel comfortable and recognized. Ultimately, good interpersonal relationships satisfy our need for recognition. I don't know if you feel the same way, but after helping others, whether or not we receive material rewards or just a simple \"thank you,\" or seeing the other person improve under our help, we feel a sense of fulfillment. Good interpersonal relationships contain this feeling and involve mutual giving. On the surface, it may seem like I give you something and you give me something in return, but in this give-and-take process, both parties can feel the care and recognition from each other. It's not a process of mutual cancellation, but a process of strengthening each other's relationship. It's not 1-1=0, but 1+1=2. We are not currency, so we don't need to and can't please everyone. We need to learn to say no appropriately. Some of the troubles in life exist because we do things that we shouldn't be doing and think that by helping others, they will recognize us and our \"sense of accomplishment\" will increase. However, reality may not be like that. Those things we shouldn't be doing and don't enjoy doing bring us more troubles instead of a \"sense of accomplishment.\" Learning to say no appropriately is the foundation of becoming a confident person.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "The relationship between people needs constant mutual effort to be sustained. Selfishness is human nature because seeking advantages and avoiding harm is our instinct. We willingly accept things that benefit us, but we tend to avoid those that harm us. The biggest difference between us and other species is that we have more thoughts and emotions. For many children, selfishness is a characteristic that most of them possess, while those who appear mature and selfless are often shaped by the frequent guidance of adults. For example, when going out to eat with friends, going Dutch every time seems awkward, but paying for ourselves every time is somewhat reluctant. If we often let the other person pay, it may not be appropriate either. Therefore, we can divide the situation and the matter. If it's on our home ground, we can give more, as a way of showing hospitality. If it's in the other person's territory and they also show similar behavior, we shouldn't feel embarrassed either, because the relationship between us and the other person is mutually beneficial. If the other person calculates everything clearly and doesn't want to spend anything, then experiencing certain things once is enough; there's no need to overly consider the final gains and losses since this way of getting along is difficult to sustain. In life, we only need to be true to ourselves, treat others well if they treat us well, and also play along if others are insincere towards us. We mustn't live in other people's thoughts but have our own ideas. The world loves you and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Just remembered that I personally have similar feelings to you, mainly in the interaction with relatives. I tend to calculate things very clearly, mainly because of my mother's urging. Her belief is that if someone gives you something, you should also give something in return. But this belief makes me feel rigid and uncomfortable. It's understandable to have a slight deviation, but whether I give a better or worse gift, I will be criticized by my mother. The source of my discomfort comes from my mother's criticism. Although I personally also don't like sharing or helping others in terms of material things, I acknowledge my own belief. Is it selfish not to share or help? I haven't harmed anyone's interests, I just don't want others to harm my interests either. In places my mother can't see, I also calculate things very carefully. But I believe in my belief of not wanting to share, I think it's not selfish, it's self-love. Only by loving oneself and having enough energy can one have the ability to love and help others. But you mainly equate not wanting to share or help with selfishness, and cannot accept it in your heart. When you have the emotional desire to reciprocate, no matter how much reciprocity is involved, your heart will not truly accept the relationship with the other person, and the other person may also not accept your help because of your emotions. My suggestion is that when you don't feel like sharing emotionally, don't force yourself to do it. Be courageous in expressing yourself. Actually, I used to be like you, always being too accommodating. But during college, I discovered that there are some classmates who I think are quite selfish. Sometimes, they let others treat them and clearly refuse others' moral pressure. Slowly, I realized that they are just more self-loving. They don't intentionally behave like this, they just don't overthink things. But upon closer observation, it can be seen that these people generally have good interpersonal relationships with classmates and friends, and they don't carry as much negative energy.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7427
       },
       {
        "question": "The results are not as good as before, should I change my counselor?",
        "description": "After going through a nearly five-year counseling process, I have now reached a stage of transference. I feel that the effectiveness of the counseling is not as good as before. It's confusing and lacks direction. It seems that there is no chemistry between me and the counselor, and I don't have much motivation either. Should I change counselors in this situation? It would be a pity to do so, after all, this counselor knows me the best and seems to understand me the most. However, they may not be able to see the root of the problem. If I switch to a new counselor, it feels like I will have to start from scratch and go through a period of adjustment.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "After five years of continuous counseling and still being able to stick with the same counselor, it seems that the questioner is a person who is able to persevere in their actions. I applaud you for that. Any relationship goes through three stages: the honeymoon phase, the stage of exhaustion and adjustment, and finally the stage of acceptance. In reality, it is not difficult for a person to seek counseling, what is difficult is finding a counselor who is a good match for oneself, and being able to blend and trust each other, which is quite challenging. You feel a sense of unprecedented chaos and directionlessness, to the point where even the rapport and motivation between both parties is lost. Therefore, it is normal to consider the idea of changing counselors. Since the relationship between the questioner and their counselor has developed for five years, I believe this counselor is still suitable for the questioner. During the counseling process, it will encompass all the contradictions and aspects of your life experiences. It can be said that it is an abbreviation of your life experiences. So, in the beginning, the surface-level aspects go smoothly. However, as you delve deeper, both parties need to put in more effort and cooperation. The confusion you are experiencing may be a stage of readjustment, and this stage happens to be a point you need to confront. The current stage for the questioner may be the so-called stage of exhaustion, a bottleneck stage. This stage gives rise to a lot of feelings and thoughts. In reality, every thought has its significance. If you feel very uncomfortable and lack motivation, then we can stop and take a look at what has happened exactly. If you cannot figure it out, you can communicate your deep-seated thoughts to your counselor, even thoughts of wanting to change counselors. Perhaps in the process of talking, some things will emerge. You may see unprecedented scenery. However, if you give up and change counselors, then what awaits you may be the scene of spinning in place every time you reach this point. No matter who you change to, when you reach this place, what awaits you is that part that spins in place. Therefore, I believe that the issue at hand has little to do with changing counselors. Confronting the problem directly is the key.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, it can be understood that 1. OP has been in counseling for a long time and is now entering the transference stage. The rapport with the therapist seems to have been lost. 2. OP is considering whether or not to change therapists, but is also concerned that it may take longer to adjust from the beginning if they do. \u3010A little analysis and advice\u30111. First, as the client, OP has the right to express dissatisfaction and the right to choose their own therapist or to communicate with the therapist about the recent ineffective treatment experience. However, OP mentioned entering the transference stage, indicating that the treatment process has indeed reached a difficult turning point. If this turning point is a necessary part of the treatment process and not due to a lack of compatibility between the therapist and OP, then changing therapists would require starting the adjustment process again, ultimately still facing the current transference stage. This would be a waste of time and money for OP. 2. If OP is willing, they can try expressing their inner feelings to the therapist and then cooperate with the therapist's treatment plan modifications as requested. This might lead to effective progress. However, if there has been a long period of no progress in communication between OP and the therapist, and the therapist has not proposed any other measures to change this situation, it may be more suitable for OP to change therapists.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9212
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it true that people who have extreme feelings of insecurity have a strong desire for control? How can they improve?",
        "description": "Recently, I experienced something that made me realize that I have a strong desire for control. Someone had mentioned it to me before, and at that time, I felt very wronged. My mom is someone with a strong desire for control and likes to escape. I have never been able to understand why I have such strong resentment towards my mom in recent years. It feels like I am being tightly held by her, and it feels suffocating. I really want to escape from home, so I often work away from home and don't come back. I have always felt that there is something wrong with me, that I don't understand gratitude, and I feel guilty. Until now, I increasingly feel like my mom, lacking a sense of security and having a strong desire for control. My younger sister has always been very close to me, but recently she has decided to go on blind dates and get married, which has caused me great fear and panic. It feels like I am going to lose her. I realize now that this is all about control. I am the one who is most miserable. I seek advice on how to improve this situation.",
        "keywords": "Personal growth, character development, self-improvement, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I saw your distress and hope I can help you. From your description, I can see your awareness of your need for control and the struggles and resistance you have experienced due to your mother's strong need for control. I understand your feelings and emotions very well, and we can try to analyze and improve the situation. First, reconcile with your mother. Understand the reasons behind her lack of security due to her upbringing, empathize with the impact of traumatic events that the older generation may have faced, and see that your mother's strictness is just a result of improper methods, but with good intentions. Truly understanding her and resolving her emotions is also a way to resolve the guilt that arises from your opposition to her, and to reconcile with the fear-driven self that constantly blames yourself. Try to see and amplify the positive influence she has on you, which can also help you better accept yourself. Secondly, focus on your own personal growth. Shift your focus to your own demands and planning. Improving your abilities and self-worth can increase your self-confidence and sense of security, and help you reduce dependence on and control of others. Thirdly, establish more connections. Actively engage in positive interactions with friends and family, and cultivate hobbies that benefit your mind and body. This will broaden your social interaction and also reduce your excessive focus on certain people or things, which can lead to a need for control. A sense of security comes more from self-awareness and self-control. Attractiveness is more powerful than control when it comes to dealing with others. Wishing you new achievements every day.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading the description of your story, I am particularly pleased to see the efforts you have made in your personal growth. Our self-growth actually begins with inner self-awareness. When you start to discover similarities between yourself and your mother's personality, and realize that you have strong and controlling tendencies in dealing with others' emotions, you are already starting to transform. Therefore, this is something worth acknowledging first. From exploring the \"triggers\" that cause you pain and discomfort in life, I wonder how your first self-discovery came about? I think this kind of approach may help you further explore and understand yourself. It's important to know that exploring our inner selves means continually being aware of and discovering ourselves, and gaining a better understanding of ourselves, which is the beginning of change. In this regard, I suggest starting with those moments in life that make you very unhappy and uncomfortable. For example, you mentioned in your question that you don't want to go home, but at the same time, you feel pain and guilt. You can reflect on where this self-reproach comes from. For example, when you feel just as uncomfortable as if you had lost a loved one when you see your sister going on a blind date, you can think about how your discomfort arises. It is important to note that these moments, if they were to happen to someone else, might not necessarily cause the same pain and discomfort. This suffering and discomfort will only manifest in you, which may be due to different cognitive perspectives and beliefs. If it is the loss of a loved one, a breakup, etc., these moments are painful for anyone, regardless of comparison. Starting from these special moments, find the root causes of the discomfort you feel inside yourself. This is self-awareness and introspection. When these special moments come, you will always be overwhelmed by the pain and emotions inside, and lose the ability to think rationally. At this time, you should always make yourself aware and try to look at what you are experiencing from the perspective of an observer. This is the observer's perspective in awareness. Of course, this may still not relieve the pain inside you, but you must always understand that this pain is not real, but rather a trigger of emotions from past memories. Otherwise, why wouldn't others feel the same pain? More importantly, never try to confront or even eliminate this pain, as it will only amplify its impact. The more you care about it and try to suppress it, the more you will provide it with new psychological energy, creating a vicious cycle. When you just let it flow quietly, truly feel it, you will find that pain, like flowing water, comes and goes, but never truly hurts you. Lastly, I want to say that psychological growth is a slow but exciting process. If possible, please join this platform and gradually learn more about awareness and ways to improve yourself by participating in knowledge courses, live broadcasts, and more. I hope to grow together with you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, I can understand your current state to some extent. It seems that you feel uncomfortable because your mother is quite dominant, but gradually you realize that you have also been influenced by her and become somewhat dominant, wanting to control others. The recent example is that you feel afraid of losing your sister as she wants to get married. Our primary family does indeed have a significant impact on us, such as the behavioral patterns of our parents. We tend to inherit what we like and reject what we don't like. These subconscious memories are deeply ingrained, so sometimes unconsciously, we end up adopting these behaviors that we don't like. However, this is not absolute and unchangeable. For example, the influence of our primary family on us can be taken as a whole or there are ways to deal with it. I think your self-reflection is meaningful because many times, when we have many thoughts, if we are not aware of them, we lack that sense of observation and are not proactive or planned. Now that you are aware of the changes in your psychological state, you have already taken the first step. So let's discuss how to improve your relationship with your mother, and even improve your relationships with other people, especially regarding the desire to control others. As you mentioned, constantly trying to control others can make them feel suffocated, which is why you want to escape and find work in other places to avoid your mother. In that case, I suggest that when both of you are in a good relationship and in a calm state of mind, you can talk to her about these topics. For example, discuss what your mother thinks and how you personally feel about her actions. You can express that you know she cares for you, but you may prefer a gentler approach, and having an open conversation, I believe your mother will be able to understand. Slowly, this relationship will ease. Regarding your sister, as well as other people, I don't think you need to deliberately do too much. For example, when you notice a strong desire to control others, just the act of noticing it is a success. Because when you have this awareness, it becomes difficult for you to act on that impulse, right? So, you don't need to blame yourself too much. Whenever the thought of controlling others arises, we can promptly become aware of it and get ourselves back on the right track. This way, there won't be a big problem. I feel that you have good control over your own mind and your psychological state is generally fine. Keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Regarding the desire for control, it is actually not easy to detect, especially for individuals with a relatively low level of education, who are less likely to be aware of this aspect. Let me give you an example: if a couple has a bad relationship, the mother may unconsciously engage in behaviors that keep the child close to her, causing the child to also have a poor relationship with the father. The mother's behaviors are mostly unconscious, and what she knows is that if she can't get the husband's care and love, she will give all of her love and care to the child. After receiving the mother's love, the child will easily stay by her side and never leave. Because the child is young and lacks a discerning ability, it is difficult for them to objectively assess their parents' relationship, and they unknowingly become a group controlled by the mother's emotions. As the child grows up and begins to see more clearly the interaction patterns between the parents, they may realize that they were once emotionally controlled and unable to objectively view their parents. Sometimes, they may even harbor guilt towards the father and resentment towards the mother. You can try to become aware of what your need for control is about. It is understandable that you don't want your sister to leave, and you can certainly think that way. However, I don't think you would actually prevent your sister from leaving, right? If that's the case, then it may not be related to a desire for control. In daily life, if you feel like your mother has you tightly locked down, does it mean that you are unable to do what you want because she always gives you advice, suggestions, and even makes decisions for you without considering your feelings? If you don't like this way of doing things and would rather be yourself while allowing others to be themselves, maybe you can try to become a person with clear psychological boundaries. For example, you can accept that your mother is the way she is, but say, \"I'm sorry, but I don't want to live according to your expectations. I respect that we are different, but I will live according to my own beliefs.\" It's easy to say but not easy to do, and it may require overcoming the fear of conflict that lurks within you... Take it slowly and don't label yourself as having a strong desire for control, because people's thoughts are dynamic and you will adjust according to your current needs. Believe in yourself!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone encounters different problems in life, and not all of these problems are already known. There are also some that have yet to be discovered, the first-time discoveries. That's just life. Through experiencing certain things, you may realize that you are a controlling person. Maybe at this moment, you are learning to see and observe things around you. You are also becoming aware of who you truly are. As people grow up, they will have their own choices and circumstances, so it is normal to separate. However, even if you are separated, you are still sisters, just distanced from each other. In the future, she will have her own family and life, no longer clinging to you like when you were younger. It is normal to have a hard time accepting the possibility of separation. Try to think from a different perspective to ease yourself. She has her own life, just like how you have your own job. Give yourself some time to adjust and adapt. If there were things you didn't do well enough in the past, things you didn't observe carefully, make adjustments based on that. For example, make regular phone calls and greetings to bring each other closer. Some things may not have been realized, and some may have been caused by immaturity, so don't blame yourself. Just do your best to care for your family. You can have more conversations with your sister about her future life - her plans, the type of person she likes, and understand her thoughts. When appropriate, you can also offer your suggestions. I don't think it's about control when it comes to your sister, maybe it's just that you haven't adapted to the idea of being separated yet.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 141
       },
       {
        "question": "How to chat with strangers online and not know what to say all the time?",
        "description": "I don't have many friends, and sometimes I feel lonely. I want to chat with someone, but I never know what to say. After saying \"hello\" a few times, I don't know what else to talk about and it becomes awkward. Asking about age and work feels too personal, and even if they answer, I still don't know what to say next. I feel like I can't fit into these conversations, like an outsider. I say things just to get by, while wondering how others would respond. I'm always worried about saying the wrong things because I don't know what I mean myself. I'm just imitating, maybe I'm suppressing myself? But I really have a strong desire to chat. What am I lacking?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, social networking applications",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, every suppressed soul lacks the opportunity to be seen by others and the courage to express themselves truly. From your description, I can feel your strong sense of loneliness and the helplessness of not being understood or known by others. You may not be very skilled in socializing, but you have a strong desire to express yourself and establish connections with others. It seems like you hesitate a lot when chatting with strangers, probably because you feel too lonely. When it comes to starting a conversation, you might need to have different topics for different people. When you know absolutely nothing about the other person, including their gender, you can choose some trivial topics that everyone can talk about. For example, the weather, popular TV shows, and music. Focus on the other person and initiate topics that give them a sense of being cared for and valued. When they ask you questions, answer them sincerely based on your own feelings. If you feel comfortable answering, do so sincerely; if you feel it exceeds your boundaries, politely decline. In the virtual world of the internet, to be understood, seen, and have stable relationships, you may need to chat continuously and steadily with one person, genuinely making friends. With time, as you talk about more topics and get to know each other better, the topics will become more personal and relatable, and the relationship may become more stable. Additionally, you only have the desire to ask questions when you genuinely want to know about the other person. If your goal is to meet a stranger and expect them to understand you and become your confidant with just a few words, the chances are extremely slim. Don't force conversations. When one day the topic can no longer continue, you can wait until the next day or the day after to ask some questions you genuinely want to know. Respect the other person's privacy and interests, and don't interrogate them. Start with simple topics like hobbies and interests. This might give the other person a better impression and a sense of trust. Lastly, be sincere. There are many people making friends online, and their motives can be complex. Learn to identify and stay away from such people. As for those who sincerely answer your questions, be equally sincere in expressing your feelings and who you are because we can sense whether the other person is being perfunctory or genuine. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15742
       },
       {
        "question": "My roommate is always overly cautious and distrustful of others, and it's exhausting for me...",
        "description": "I know that as people grow older, their hearts become more fragile and they become less trusting of others. This is an experience shared by many. But I believe that there should at least be a basic level of trust between people. However, I have a roommate who really makes me feel exhausted when I interact with her. She is someone who doesn't like to talk much and has strong opinions, but she always seems to think that people have ulterior motives when they do things for her. For example, I try to help her out of kindness, but she seems to reject others' attempts to get close to her. I feel like I'm putting in so much effort to get close to someone who doesn't reciprocate. After a few times, I also feel tired. She always prioritizes her own interests, which also makes me feel emotionally drained. We're all going to live together for four years, so why be so nitpicky? I just want to have a pleasant time with my roommates during college.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates and classmates, personal boundaries, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, there is no rule that says you must get along well with every person around you. If you feel hurt by someone several times, it might be because your personalities clash or you're just not meant to be friends. Although most people will say that it's important to get along with those around you, everyone's environment and personalities are different. Everyone has different likes, dislikes, and values. Besides the mainstream notion of getting along well with others, if you can't get along, you can choose to ignore them. There's no need to please someone you don't like. There are so many people in the world, so why bother yourself? Ignoring them is also a way of getting along with others. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21638
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I communicate with my child who always takes pleasure in others' misfortune?",
        "description": "Every time I feel embarrassed, it is when the child is the happiest. This makes me angry, even a little furious.",
        "keywords": "Growth, student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, although your problem description is only a few words, I can still feel your confusion and dissatisfaction, even anger. I wonder how old your child is now? From your description, I see that every time you feel embarrassed, your child is the happiest, which may make us parents feel ashamed. As parents, it can be embarrassing when our shortcomings are exposed, as it affects our dignity and identity. The reaction from the child, such as laughter, jumping, or mocking, intensifies our sense of shame and leads to feelings of anger. Let's first consider the age of the child: If they are preschool-age children, seeing their parents embarrassed may seem funny and normal to them. Because in their minds, they might think that parents are infallible. When they suddenly see their parents making mistakes and being embarrassed, it is a very novel experience for them, something they find amusing, so it's not difficult to understand why they feel happy. On the other hand, children at this stage are still developing their brains and need to actively understand the embarrassment their parents feel after making mistakes and give them the feedback they desire. It is also challenging to teach them how to handle situations correctly. If the child is already in elementary school or older, under normal circumstances, they can perceive their parents' sense of embarrassment. However, their happiest moments coinciding with their parents' embarrassment may give the impression that they are \"fighting against\" their parents. So, the following are some questions that you need to consider. How do you perceive your parent-child relationship? When your child encounters difficulties, feels embarrassed or helpless, are you able to understand their feelings in a timely manner and provide the expected feedback and support? As parents, we are our children's most important mentors. From the analysis above, it is evident that regardless of the age of the child, parents' education, guidance, and leading by example are crucial references for their imitation and learning.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, it's not just children who exhibit such behaviors and reactions. In our daily lives, when we see someone embarrassing themselves, we also tend to feel a sense of enjoyment. I don't know how the questioner usually communicates and interacts with their child, but if we are usually harsh with our child and exhibit unfriendly behavior towards them, even when they haven't done anything wrong, it is quite normal for the child to display such behaviors. Therefore, we need to learn to control our own emotions. Just like when we feel angry and annoyed when our child takes pleasure in others' misfortunes, we may even pass on this negative emotion to the child. We can communicate with the child during normal times and let them know that most people experience moments of embarrassment and awkwardness. If they encounter such situations, they should learn how the people around them view and cope with them. If the child doesn't want others to laugh at them, we should teach them about the attitude we should have towards others and how others will reciprocate accordingly. We should teach the child to consider others' perspectives. Also, try not to find amusement in embarrassing situations, because our unintended actions may cause harm to others. Therefore, we should teach the child to respect others and help others alleviate their embarrassment when necessary, and make the child learn to be helpful. We can lead by example and encourage the child during our communication with them, guiding them to learn the meaning of growth. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I'm not sure how old your child is. If your child is still young, he may not understand what embarrassment is yet. So when he's happy in such situations, sometimes he may just think it's fun to play with mom and dad, or even think that mom and dad are playing a game with him. This is very normal for young children. At this time, on the one hand, we need to understand that your child's understanding is still at a very basic stage. On the other hand, we can ask ourselves, when we feel embarrassed and our child is happy, what do we think of or feel? For example, someone shared with me that they think of their father as an authority figure, so if they embarrass themselves or can't do something in front of their child, they feel like a failure. So maybe their anger is not because the child is happy, but because the child's happiness triggers their sense of failure. So for you, what is the answer to this question? You may need to ask yourself if you are feeling or thinking about something. If your child is older and can understand these things, you can take the opportunity to sit down and honestly tell your child your true feelings when these things happen. You can also listen carefully to why your child was so happy at that time. Sometimes when children exhibit certain behaviors, they may not necessarily know what kind of feelings these behaviors will bring to others. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Children hope for authority to collapse, children crave independence, children long for equality. Therefore, as children enter another stage of growth, they undergo changes, and as parents, we need to change to match our children's changes. Parents need to examine their previous ideas and beliefs, to rebuild or amend and optimize these notions, and then make adjustments in their actions. I can only provide an example because families and children are all different: Parents' words are always right, turns into parents' words are not necessarily always right. \"Listen to your parents\" turns into \"be able to communicate with your parents\". \"Children don't know anything\" turns into \"children know quite a lot and make sense\". \"The child is still young\" turns into \"the child is becoming independent and is about to grow up and separate\" and so on. Anger and fury are the perfect opportunity to note down the reasons, beliefs, and principles behind the anger, and then work through these things. It is very nourishing. Good luck to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello questioner. The child may truly not understand what embarrassment is and may find the mother's behavior at the time amusing. It can also be said that the child does not yet have the ability to empathize. In the process of cultivating the child's qualities in daily life, parents should also pay attention to cultivating empathy, so that the child learns to understand the discomfort of others, and thus develops more sympathy and kindness. The child's empathy can also help them learn to treat their family members well. If the child shows schadenfreude, then parents should consider whether their empathy education has been done well. Parents are the best teachers for their children, and of course, the best role models for empathy education are the parents themselves. Our every word and action invisibly influence the child's qualities. Guide our children to understand and manage their own emotions and to understand the feelings of others. If similar situations arise again, you must communicate patiently with the child and make them understand your feelings. Or ask them to think from the other person's perspective - how would they feel if they were in the same situation and you found joy in their misfortune? Whether it's between adults or between adults and children, communication is crucial. Only when communication is effective, many problems can be solved. Hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3997
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it possible to still have trouble sleeping even after taking sleeping pills due to a fear of sleep?",
        "description": "Severe depression, mild anxiety, been taking medication for 3 years, including sleeping pills which also induce fear of sleep. I have always been resistant to sleep, to the point where even with sleeping pills, I still struggle to fall asleep. I take the maximum dosage of sleeping pills.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical response, treatment methods, psychological assessment.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can really understand your pain. Because like you, I have also been consumed by insomnia day after day in the swamp. Including now, I also need to take sleeping pills, also known as tranquilizers, in order to achieve relatively stable sleep. First, why do we need to sleep at night? (1) Work at sunrise and rest at sunset. This is the order that the universe and nature have given to humans. Humans can never escape the laws of nature. Our bodies are not made of iron, and the laws of nature will allow us to choose to pause the activity of our bodies at specific times. Just like plants need photosynthesis during the day, humans also need to be active during the day. And sleep at night to detoxify our bodies. But what embarrasses us is that although the arrival of the night makes our bodies feel exhausted, our thoughts and consciousness often go against our physiological mechanisms. This is the fundamental cause of insomnia. The body is tired, but the mind is difficult to stop, this tug-of-war brings us suffering. I'm sure you are well aware, no matter how big your psychological problems are, your doctor will repeatedly tell you to sleep well at night. That's why you take some medication as an aid. (2) Chronic insomnia creates a negative \"butterfly effect\". The suffering caused by insomnia is not just the depression and anxiety of not being able to sleep at night. It is a series of long-term physical and psychological torment. 1. When you have insomnia for the first night, it will be difficult for you to get up in the morning, and even if you get up, you feel like you want to sleep. You feel drowsy and have low efficiency in daily life and work, decreased memory and prone to mistakes. You can't help but try to \"catch up on sleep\" and \"sleep back\" during the day. 2. When it comes to the second night, you will have insomnia again. Because your brain has been exhausted during the day and has been in a semi-calm state, if you take a nap during the day, your brain will think that you should be awake now. You will feel energetic and want to use your phone. As a result, you toss and turn and can't sleep. 3. When you have been in this state of \"day and night reversed\" for a week, your biological clock will be completely disrupted. In this situation, the brain that controls your emotions will experience functional disorders due to your long-term insomnia. And your body will be overdrawn due to lack of sleep. It is easy to feel tired all over the body during the day, limbs ache, lack of concentration, and frequent mood swings. Insomnia can cause people to become more depressed and anxious under stress. And friends who originally had depression and anxiety will exacerbate psychological problems due to insomnia. Second, if you already have psychological problems and insomnia is getting worse. Is it still possible to get better? Friends with chronic insomnia always say the word \"desperate\". But in fact, based on my personal experience of long-term battles with insomnia, I think insomnia can be overcome. Because of work reasons, I used to stay up late frequently. Later, it evolved from not being able to sleep to not being able to sleep at all. I felt tired all day and could only rely on coffee to stay awake. At night, I would lie in bed and try to fall asleep but couldn't. Now, I still need medication to improve the quality of my sleep, but through my efforts and adjustments for a period of time, I can now go to bed around 10 pm and wake up at 6 am every day. I want to tell you through my experience, dear friend, although insomnia is really terrifying. But this is not a bottomless abyss of despair. As long as you have hope and strive to change, you can also develop good habits of going to bed early and waking up early, and have a vibrant life! Third, how should we get out of the predicament of insomnia? I have three suggestions to share with you. Insomnia is scary, and even scarier is the \"learned helplessness\" psychology that we develop when facing insomnia. Faced with the frustration of insomnia, many people surrender, even if they use sleep aids, it is difficult to get better. The person will become more and more powerless. As a mental health practitioner, I must responsibly tell you that although sleep aids can indeed reduce the activity of your brain to a certain extent and promote the secretion of melatonin, if you excessively rely on medication without making comprehensive adjustments to your body and mind, even the best sleep aids can easily develop resistance in your body and become addictive. Just increasing the dosage of medication to force yourself to fall asleep may eventually lead to the medication becoming ineffective and unnecessary harm to your body. To overcome insomnia, you need internal and external adjustments. Only you can change yourself. I suggest the following, hope you can adopt it: Suggestion 1: Pay attention to the problem of insomnia, adopt the 21-day habit formation method, and conduct sleep training to adjust your biological clock. Many people can't get out of insomnia because they always underestimate it and treat it as a minor problem. Finally, it becomes difficult to recover. So, when you feel that insomnia has become unbearable, you need to make overcoming insomnia your most urgent goal. To succeed, you must plan ahead and meet your needs. I personally made a 21-day chart for myself. And I would check off the goal of going to bed and waking up early in the chart every day. I will share my 21-day sleep adjustment method with you. (1) Step one: In the first week, I would require myself to finish washing up at 10 pm, go to bed at 11 pm, and fall asleep at 12 am. (2) Step two: In the second week, I would require myself to finish washing up at 9:30 pm, go to bed at 10:30 pm, and fall asleep at 11 pm. (3) Step three: In the third week, I would stick to the schedule of the second week and strictly follow it. Here are some important tips to remember: Key point one: Set an alarm on your phone to remind yourself, and when it's time to sleep, turn off your phone. Avoid unnecessary temptations. At the beginning, it is the most difficult because there are many things on your mind at night, and you can't help but think about them. However, when I think of how uncomfortable I will be the next day, I force myself to follow the schedule. Key point two: It is recommended to take sleep aids at 8 pm. Because it takes time for the medication to digest and take effect. Key point three: In this process, there will inevitably be temptations. So before starting the 21-day sleep execution plan, I will inform all my friends that I will not participate in any evening entertainment activities, including playing games, singing, watching movies, etc. And I will ask the people around me to supervise me. After 3 weeks, you will find that your body and brain have completely formed a \"conditioned reflex\" of going to bed and waking up early, and good habits have been formed. Sleeping on time is no longer a problem. The inertia that human beings possess will keep you persisting in going to bed and waking up early. Suggestion 2: In order to avoid insomnia at night, you must fully engage in activities during the day to consume energy. This ensures that you have excess energy at night. Many people can't sleep at night because they sleep too much during the day. Our bodies naturally seek balance. If you put the things that should be done during the day at night and the things that should be done at night during the day, it will eventually lead to a reversal of day and night, and create a vicious cycle. Therefore, I suggest that you find a way to make your daytime activities more fulfilling and not procrastinate or be lazy. (1) For example, you can try participating in activities that consume a lot of energy during the day, such as running or swimming. Exercise can release the body's energy, and it can also secrete dopamine to bring a sense of pleasure. More importantly, it can help your body better sense the signal of rest at night, and improve sleep. (2) For example, you can change the way you work and study, try to be more efficient during the day. Many people work overtime and stay up late not because they are really busy, but because they procrastinate. If you want to sleep well, then the things that should be done during the day should not be done at night. If there is not much work recently, you can try cleaning the house, organizing items, or taking a walk in the neighborhood garden. Don't lock yourself inside and spend every day lying in bed using your phone. Chinese culture emphasizes balance between yin and yang, and only by practicing it can you overcome insomnia. Suggestion 3: To overcome insomnia, you need to create a conducive sleep environment for yourself and adjust your nutritional status. (1) To sleep well, you must create a good sleep atmosphere. If you still listen to heavy metal and watch episode after episode of TV shows at night, and the lights are bright, then your central nervous system will mistakenly think that it is still daytime. This will make it more difficult for you to fall asleep. I suggest you change your sleep environment. For example, listen to soothing music before bed, buy pillows and bedding that suit your sleep, wear comfortable pajamas, and use the softest lighting in the room before bed. You can even use lavender aromatherapy to relax yourself. A good sleep environment can bring a sense of security to your mood and alleviate your anxiety and depression to some extent. It is helpful to you. (2) Try meditation and breathing relaxation exercises before bed to better enter deep sleep. Many people have a lot on their minds and are unable to let go of the problems they encountered during the day when they lie down. This burdensome and psychological baggage on top of the already heavy burden will make it difficult for you to sleep well. If you want to sleep well, you need to let go of the burden on your mind before bed. Relax completely. Choose a comfortable position, or you can sit cross-legged. Then let your brain relax completely, meditate. Breathe in a rhythmic manner, drive away the troubles of the day completely. Through meditation and breathing exercises, you can calm your mind, and you can sleep soundly. (3) In order to sleep well, you should pay attention to your eating and drinking habits. Many people can't help but have an extra meal at night, eat spicy and stimulating food, and even drink too much coffee or alcohol. This increases the burden on the stomach and intestines. The organs that should rest at night have to accompany you in staying up late because of your desire for food and drinks. Of course, you will not sleep well. It is of no benefit and only harms your physical health. Therefore, do not eat cold and spicy foods before bed, and avoid drinking stimulating teas and coffee. Control your diet, and you will have better sleep. Before bed, you can try drinking mild beverages like milk to help with sleep, and during the day, try not to overindulge in food and drink to avoid burdening your body. These are all my analysis and suggestions. Insomnia is really a painful enemy. Not being able to sleep well deprives us of vitality during the day and makes us increasingly unhappy. The body becomes worse and worse like a deflated balloon. Only by breaking it can we make progress. In the miserable cycle of insomnia, it is better to boldly overcome insomnia. Come on! Thank you for reading, please like and follow!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a hug! One can feel the extreme fear in the OP's heart. Even after taking the maximum dosage of sleeping pills, they are still afraid of sleep and have a strong aversion to it. This indirectly reflects a very obvious problem, that the internal conflict in the OP's heart is intense. The conscious self realizes the need for good sleep to maintain physical health, but the subconscious self's repressed fear is overpowering and beyond the control of the conscious self, resulting in the current situation faced by the OP. Perhaps the OP is not aware that it is the internal conflict that forces them to do things they don't want to do, suppressing too many emotions that need to be released and satisfied, which leads to the OP's heart carrying so much pressure. They do not know what is going on or how to solve it, which causes their inner anxiety and fear. Among the repressed emotions in the OP's heart, fear is perhaps the most obvious and \"strongest\". And the source of these fears is closely related to certain traumatic events that occurred during their previous sleep, such as experiencing strong fear during sleep and leaving this fear in the deep memories of the OP's subconscious self. When encountering similar external stimuli, these feelings can be triggered and activated, greatly affecting the OP's normal sleep and daily life. To solve this problem, the repressed fear in the OP's heart needs to be released, and past traumas need to be repaired. Consider making an appointment with a skilled hypnotherapy therapist for psychological counseling to help solve the current issues and allow the OP to have a relaxed and natural sleep life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Fear of sleep conflicts with sleep, I understand you. I haven't had the same experience as you, but I have helped numerous visitors like you with good results. Why don't you give it a try? 1. Find the root causes of your anxiety and depression and make peace with them: Facing and accepting them is the key to reconciliation. 2. Tell yourself before bed: Sleep if you feel like it, don't sleep if you don't. Only get in bed when you feel sleepy, and there should be no items like phones or books in bed. 3. If you don't feel like sleeping, don't get in bed. You can do something like reading, soaking your feet, or meditation. If you follow these steps, you will likely be able to sleep. Otherwise, you can make an appointment for counseling.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, sleeping is a blissful thing. But you are troubled by insomnia every night. Your body is exhausted but your mind is still tense, feeling fearful and anxious. This state is torturous! And it's the same every day, like an unsolvable cycle, truly making one feel depressed! I have also experienced the same situation, experiencing the fear of sleep, tossing and turning restlessly in bed, even worrying about insomnia as soon as night falls. And indeed, insomnia comes again, deepening the fear of sleep and further depressing oneself. The fear of sleep is mostly the feelings and emotions left behind by past experiences, which have not been recognized and soothed in a timely manner, but have been repressed into the subconscious. Every time the same circumstance arises, fear is triggered, affecting our choices. Your fear of sleep is so intense that not even sleeping pills can gain the trust of your inner self. It is evident that past experiences have had a strong impact on you. You cannot trust the outside world, don't believe that the outside world is safe, and don't believe that you can be protected. You can only stay awake, control the situation yourself, and then it will be safe. The reason for depression is mostly our lack of control over ourselves or the outside world, feeling helpless. This stems from the subconscious evaluation of oneself: I have no value; I am not good, nobody likes me; I always make mistakes... The healing method is to sacrifice one's own well-being to gain a sense of control and security, but it will only make oneself more tired and more discouraged. So how can you sleep peacefully? 1. Increase the sense of control: the body and mind are closely connected. If possible, engage in moderate exercise, just enough to break a light sweat. Don't force yourself to do too much, and don't judge yourself. 2. Find one positive trait every day: there must be a positive trait in your body. Praise one positive trait of yourself every night, even repeating it is okay. 3. Accommodate your own capabilities: do anything within your capabilities, don't demand too much from yourself. Do as much as you can without judging yourself. 4. Acknowledge the fact of insomnia: if you can't sleep, then so be it. Perhaps you will be tired the next day, but let yourself be tired, don't struggle with yourself. Even if you can't sleep, do not criticize yourself. 5. Talk to yourself: treat the subconscious as a frightened child, perhaps something during the night frightened him/her, and he/she is so small, completely scared. Every night before bed, lie down, breathe calmly, and say to that child, \"You must have been scared! You don't dare to fall asleep anymore, you think it's dangerous to fall asleep. Don't be afraid! I will hold you, protect you, and accompany you to sleep. You are safe now, you can sleep peacefully, you can sleep soundly.\" 6. Seek professional help: during periods of severe depression, your own strength may be weak, not enough to support your own changes. Find a hypnotic psychotherapist, have a conversation with your subconscious, change the subconscious's perception of sleep, have regular sessions, let them accompany and support you. This is a very effective approach. 7. Improve your relationship with yourself: no matter what you do, no matter how it is, never judge or criticize yourself again. If it's done, it's done. Don't evaluate it, don't evaluate it, don't evaluate it! Just affirm yourself, even if you went to bed a minute earlier, praise yourself, well done! 8. Love yourself: we are all sacred lives, regardless of our background or character traits, we all deserve to live the best life! 9. Improve the environment: clear away things in the bedroom that are unrelated to sleep, and place items that make you feel safe. Changing old patterns takes a long time, take it slowly! No matter how you do it, don't judge yourself! No matter what, you can have deep sleep! You deserve to live the best life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, asker! Your situation indeed requires a lot of attention and care. You can help yourself, and improvement is definitely possible. Let's cheer each other on!\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026[Intentional and Unintentional] You may have heard of being intentional or unintentional. Yes, we need to intentionally treat our own problems. Face them, acknowledge them, and take treatment seriously. Listen to the doctor's arrangements, follow the healing plan that you know deep inside. Persist, practice intentionally. Practice loving life, practice doing things you enjoy, take it slowly, it's okay to make mistakes, take a break when you feel tired, and when you are not in a good state, tell yourself, \"Here comes that awful feeling again, I'll hold on a little longer, it will leave sooner.\" Let's do our best together! This feeling is like baking in the kitchen, where the ingredients start off separate and clear, then become sticky and mixed together, and finally take shape and fill the room with a sweet fragrance. The whole room is filled with the taste of happiness and success. Yes, we don't need to deliberately remind ourselves of the details. Details are just details, referring to the intricate steps in doing things, and also referring to feelings that we temporarily don't want to accept. Don't deliberately remind yourself, all of these will pass, right? Or perhaps there are other methods we can try, right? In any case, don't deliberately remind yourself, don't influence yourself. [Sleep, to sleep or not to sleep] As the name implies, sleep includes both sleeping and resting. Sleeping is a verb, the willingness to sleep, while rest is a state, a relaxation of the mind. Together, it becomes a method, we need to go to sleep with the intention to sleep, and then relax our mind and body to the fullest. The significance of sleep is something that every mother understands. Sleep is so important for a baby's growth and establishing happiness. So we can talk to ourselves about the benefits of sleep. I think it's best for you to do this yourself, ask yourself and refer to books. You have enough life experience, right? Here, what I want to say is the intention to sleep, combined with the earlier notion of not being intentional. I feel that there shouldn't be a set time, silently tell yourself the benefits of sleep, that you need sleep, and then find a suitable time, use some sleep methods, and based on the doctor's advice, go to sleep. Believe in sleep, and rest will follow. Don't rush, take some time to experience it. [Music and Mindfulness] Happiness is also very meaningful. Find ways to make yourself happy, music and exercise are highly recommended! Find music that you like, or a type of music that could potentially help you, and listen to it consistently. Also, try to do some exercise that is within your capabilities, if you can stick with it, even achieving the desired physique is possible. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The pressure in society nowadays is indeed high, and certain things are indeed difficult to handle. Let's accept the difficulty and the temporary mismatch with us, but we can keep going. There will always be methods to achieve it. The sky is blue and you're here, life can be beautiful! The world, and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you seem to have a fear of sleep and resistance towards it. It appears that you are very afraid of going to sleep, and I suspect it is related to something that happened in the past. I don't know this for sure, so I won't analyze it at the moment. Let's talk about the emotion of fear. First of all, fear is an emotion, just like happiness, sadness, and anger. This fear is your emotion, just like depression is your emotion, but they are not you. You can have various emotional experiences, including joy, happiness, and delight. I guess you have spent many years trying to get rid of negative emotions such as depression, anxiety, and fear. You have tried to fight against them and overcome them. However, it seems that even taking the highest dose of medication does not help you truly recover. So what can be effective if medication and fighting are not working? The answer is allowing and accepting, going with the flow, living in the present moment, and doing what needs to be done. By using the methods of Morita therapy and mindfulness, focus your attention on the present moment, train yourself to be aware of your emotions at all times, what happened, how you feel, and what underlying needs are behind them. Pull your attention back from the past and the future to the present moment. You can also practice mindful body scanning and mindful breathing. Go with the flow, allow emotions to come and go like clouds, accepting their presence without resistance, just being aware of their arrival and adjusting to the changes in your body. Do what needs to be done, continue living your life with all these strategies, eating, sleeping, reading, going out for a walk, try going to a new place, buying something new, and try doing something you want to do every day, starting from small things. Recognize all the things you currently have, your family, your friends, the people who help you, and see your own persistence, efforts, and strength. Yes, you don't need to sleep well, and you are already doing well. You can see, you can hear, you have all your limbs intact, you can still ask questions, and you can think. Yes, you are already doing great. You already have all the resources and abilities you need. From now on, live each day to the fullest, set small goals for yourself, do something within your capabilities, and that's enough. Then, just carry on with these troubles in your life, if you don't know what to do, just focus on doing basic things like eating and going for walks every day, and if you have something you want to do, go ahead and do it. That's it, allow yourself to have emotions, accept them and be present with them, no longer fight against them, resist them, or dwell on resentment. Allow them to be with you, allow them to be here in this moment, allow yourself to still have resistance, allow yourself to not fall asleep, allow everything that happens to you. Yes, live in the present moment, allow everything to happen. When you can allow yourself to not fall asleep at this very moment, then you can allow yourself to fall asleep in the next second. That's it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone has already explained it in detail, let me share a little thinking technique. If you treat sleep as a little person, when you have insomnia, you are begging this little person: with tears streaming down your face, you kneel down and grab onto the hem of sleep's pants, saying, \"Please, sleep! I'll promise you anything!\" We will find that often at this time, sleep does not listen to our requests. The more desperately you beg for sleep, the more stubborn it becomes and refuses to sleep! Haha, that's right! Sleep can be quite stubborn! The approach I'm suggesting is not to beg for sleep but to reverse the power structure. Can't sleep? Great! I can read a book, do some housework, or listen to the midnight radio while lying down! What if I'm tired tomorrow? Who cares! If sleep doesn't cooperate, what can I do? When you ignore sleep, you will find yourself the winner because physiologically, how can you truly not sleep? Soon you will realize that as long as you endure long enough, it will be sleep, with tears streaming down its face, kneeling down and grabbing onto your pants, saying, \"Please, let me sleep! I'll promise you anything!\" Then you can elegantly extend your hand and say, \"Fine, since you insist...then sleep!\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, I want to praise you. It takes courage to openly admit your vulnerability, which means you already have the courage to change. To be honest, you are truly remarkable. Despite suffering from severe depression and mild anxiety, you are willing to undergo psychological treatment and continue taking medication. As for your resistance to sleep, to the point where even sleeping pills don't work and you take them at the maximum dosage, I think it may also be related to your emotional state. You should be eager to overcome depression and have good sleep. Haste makes waste, depression is like a black dog. If you can't drive it away, try to befriend it. Also, you have provided very limited information, please open up more about your inner self. Only then can others better help you. I hope you can smile more often.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19891
       },
       {
        "question": "In sophomore year, I am kind to others, but the feedback I receive from them is always negative.",
        "description": "I'm okay with my classmates, but recently I encountered a problem. I heard negative evaluations about myself from another classmate. It feels like I treat the whole world well, but the world has abandoned me. I don't know why. Is it because I'm not good at studying?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, hugs (\uff61\uff65\u03c9\uff65\uff61)\uff89 Just now I analyzed one of them, but I missed another one. That is, sometimes, when you are too kind to people, they will take advantage of you. I understand this feeling, it can really give you a chill in the heart. I feel like playing the song \"Cold\" for myself. In fact, I used to be like this too. At that time, as a transfer student, I was not familiar with the new environment and really hoped to have a better relationship with a classmate so that I could establish myself in the class. So I treated my desk mate very well. At first, other classmates envied it and my desk mate was grateful. But as I got to know more classmates, my desk mate was no longer \"special\" to me. Over time, she started to resent me, and the classmates got used to my kindness. If one day I no longer took the initiative to help them, they would say I have changed. Because my \"indiscriminate treatment\" gave people the impression that I am always like this! Therefore, in life, it is necessary to have \"different treatments\"! All those \"selflessness\", \"great love\", \"selfless dedication\"... sometimes need to be considered in different situations and circumstances. This is actually an unwritten rule in our society. There are many unwritten rules in our interpersonal relationships, so we should observe more and interact with people who have good relationships. As the saying goes, \"he who walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed!\" Hope my answer can help you! Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, hugs \u2299\u03c9\u2299 I understand your feelings - sadness and disbelief that you would think, I have always treated others with kindness, why do they not appreciate but rather criticize me? Actually, it's not entirely their fault. Let me give you an example: A's colleague, B, was organizing files and halfway through, suddenly wanted to use the restroom, so B left for a while. During B's absence, A saw that B's desk was messy, so A tidied it up and neatly placed everything on the desk. When B came back and saw the neatly stacked pile of files on the desk, A smiled and said, \"I saw your desk was messy, so I helped you tidy up.\" What could B say at this point? They could only politely respond on the surface, but secretly feel that A was interfering. This kind of phenomenon is actually quite common. Clearly, the protagonist in the story thought they helped their colleague B, but in reality, they ruined the half-done work with their good intentions. Therefore, it is natural for colleague B to get angry. Speaking of which, I remember watching a video on Douyin: there was an elderly lady crossing the street, and a young man noticed and went over to help her. When they reached the other side of the road, the young man casually said, \"You're welcome!\" But unexpectedly, the elderly lady stared at him and said, \"I finally made it across, why did you bring me back?\" So not all good intentions are actually good. We also need to understand the specific situation and see if the other person truly needs our kind help. Lastly, I hope my answer can be helpful to you! Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Hugs to you. The negative comments from others have consumed a lot of your energy and made you unhappy. It's okay, I will send you some strength and replenish your energy. Honestly, I used to be just like you, I can deeply understand your pain. Just a few months ago, I was the same, always being a good person, exhausting myself. Fortunately, recently I came across a book called \"The Courage to Be Disliked\", learning to reject others and no longer care about being good to them, because many times our efforts cannot be undone, so just consider it given, a gift to them. Sometimes, when others give you negative feedback, it's just because you didn't go along with their intentions, but that doesn't mean you are not good enough. It's just that everyone has different opinions and values about the same thing. No matter how hard we try to conform to others, there will always be parts that others can't understand. Trying to please and accommodate others is actually very exhausting and goes against our own values and thoughts. Many times, this situation occurs because others only want apples, but you gave them pears, which is why they think you're not good. In reality, it's just a difference in perspectives and values, it doesn't mean you're not good, it just means you haven't found someone who understands you. In fact, it's very rare for people outside to unconditionally like us, and if we do encounter such people, it is very precious and worth cherishing. In fact, even ourselves find it difficult to do this. We have many flaws that we may not even see ourselves, so we can't expect others to do so. Let me introduce a song to you, hoping it can bring you strength and motivate you. It's \"Unconditional\" by Eason Chan. In fact, for many high school students, hmm, if you have a lot of interaction with classmates, you will often find that whether classmates like you or not usually depends on some interests they have, either because you have good grades or because you have something that benefits them in some way. They like you not simply because of who you are, but because of the meaning or benefits associated with you. This is a very realistic problem, and most people are like this. Hanging out together, playing together, doesn't necessarily mean they are really good friends; sometimes it's just superficial, and everyone has a different distance in their hearts. It's not necessarily close. Be yourself, focus on building your inner self, and cultivate a strong inner self. Look for some good classmates or friends to interact with gradually. Start with those who are more sincere, ask them about their true thoughts, talk privately, communicate, have heart-to-heart conversations. Just ask about your concerns, maybe it can help you in some way. Ask about what their thoughts were with certain actions, and whether it had anything to do with you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6487
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling psychologically insecure, how to achieve the ability to freely engage in conversations?",
        "description": "Feeling mentally inferior, lacking self-confidence in everything I do, always feeling like someone is targeting me behind my back, how can I overcome this feeling?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If you feel lacking in confidence, it means you still know your abilities well. Being unable to speak up in a group is just a lack of talent in that area. Most talents are actually developed through childhood habits and experiences. If you don't have the talent, just go learn. It's never too late to start studying and exercising. Watch how others start conversations, how they communicate in the middle, and the emotions and expressions they use when speaking. It's easy to learn. If you feel tired, just endure it. What isn't tiring to learn? Once you've learned, it won't be tiring anymore. Even if you have an introverted personality, it just means you don't want to communicate, not that you can't. In fact, introverted people can become masters of communication. Introversion means you can only communicate with close friends, but once your communication skills improve and you can have enjoyable conversations with others, you won't be introverted anymore. 1. Make peace with yourself, truly like and accept yourself. Don't always think that you lack social skills and don't compare yourself excessively with people who are socially capable. Too much comparison will only hold you back and make you lose confidence. 2. Read more useful books to improve yourself.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 126,
            "end": 245,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 245,
            "end": 269,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 269,
            "end": 323,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 323,
            "end": 337,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Give the OP a warm hug. I can also understand the OP's feelings very well, especially when there are many people around, there is always a sense of discomfort as if others are paying attention to oneself. It may even feel physically uncomfortable. First of all, we need to understand and face the fact that, although this feeling may seem \"real\", it is often just an illusion: others are not actually discussing or paying attention to us. We need to first acknowledge this and constantly remind ourselves. On the other hand, the reason we care so much about other people's \"judgments\" may be due to our own lack of confidence, fear of not being accepted, or the assumption that others have negative thoughts about us. In response to this, the most important thing is to improve our self-confidence, to enhance and enrich ourselves through learning, exercise, and various other ways.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6009
       },
       {
        "question": "Tired of a monotonous life within the system, what should I do?",
        "description": "What should you do when you are tired of the same routine work and life within the system?",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, work fatigue",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I am tired of the monotonous life, so I don't even consider working within the system. But people around me keep persuading me to take the civil service exam because it offers stability and good benefits, among other things. Every job has its drawbacks. Just like the uncertainty of working outside the system, I believe many people have experienced it during this year's pandemic. Many of my friends have decided to take the civil service exam after the epidemic. I want to share this point to remind you that if you want to leave the system, you need to consider the shortcomings of other jobs. They may be unstable, have poor benefits, high pressure, and monotonous work content. We need to think carefully about what we truly want. Are we prepared for it? If not, we can try something different after work hours.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 119,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 119,
            "end": 190,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 190,
            "end": 248,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10299
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know since when I have been easily startled.",
        "description": "Once, I clearly saw this person coming towards me, but when he patted my shoulder, I still got startled. Another time, when I was leaving work, a colleague walked towards me with some food given by the company and patted me while speaking, asking me to have some. I got so scared that my body trembled, my heart raced, and I felt dizzy and feverish. Usually, even if the volume is a bit loud or if there's a loud noise from someone's accessories, I would still shake. One time, I slept with my mom, and a few days later, she said I was so easily scared that even if she just let out a breath, I would still tremble. But I don't feel it myself. Every time after being scared, when I snap out of it, it feels like I was absent-minded before being scared, but when I recall, I don't remember being absent-minded. More than one person around me has said I'm timid, but I don't feel like I am. Sometimes, when I get scared, I feel frustrated, helpless, and annoyed. Sigh.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, hypochondria, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear OP. According to your description, I have captured several pieces of information: (1) Physical symptoms: body shaking, feeling heart palpitations, palpitations, feeling anxious, and feeling feverish. (2) Psychological symptoms: irritability, helplessness, feeling wronged, and being timid. Some of your reactions partly match the symptoms of panic disorder, but due to the limited information provided, I am unable to make an accurate judgment. I will inform you about the criteria for panic disorder, and you can evaluate yourself first: the core symptom of panic disorder is panic attacks, which occur repeatedly without warning. During an attack, there is a sudden intense fear and discomfort, including chest pain, rapid breathing, etc. The diagnosis of this disorder can be made if the following symptoms are present: (1) Recurring panic attacks without warning. Panic attacks refer to the sudden onset of intense fear or discomfort. During an attack, at least four of the following symptoms are present: accelerated heart rate, sweating, trembling or shaking, shortness of breath, feeling of choking, chest pain, nausea or abdominal pain, dizziness or feeling light-headed, feeling cold or hot, numbness, feeling detached from reality or unrelated to the outside world, fear of losing control or \"going crazy,\" fear of dying. (2) Following a sudden panic attack, there is at least one or both of the following symptoms for at least one month: persistent worry about having another panic attack and concern about what might happen during an attack (e.g., fear of losing control, \"going crazy\"). Significant behavioral changes in an effort to avoid another attack (e.g., avoiding exercise or unfamiliar places). Panic attacks are not caused by other physical illnesses, drug, alcohol, or medication use, or other mental disorders. The above information is based on my consultation of the DSM-5 mental disorders book, for reference only. I hope it helps! Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, or it may be that you are in a state of nervous anxiety, causing you to be afraid of physical contact in interpersonal communication. Maybe you can try these methods: 1. Relax. Communicate with others in a relaxed manner, and you might even try initiating physical contact with others, such as patting someone on the shoulder or shaking hands. 2. When you see someone approaching you, you can mentally tell yourself to relax and not be nervous. When walking on the street, you can also greet others from a distance (without physical contact) to try to alleviate anxiety. 3. You can talk to your family or friends about these situations and ask them to try physical contact with you, such as patting your shoulder or shaking hands. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13890
       },
       {
        "question": "The elderly person is always angry because someone else is occupying their property. How can we calm their emotions?",
        "description": "There is an elderly person in the family who unconditionally gifted a portion of their assets to their stepson. It was originally agreed verbally that the elderly person could continue living there until their passing. However, after the property was transferred, the stepson and his wife evicted the elderly person. The elderly person has been psychologically affected and has suffered from multiple illnesses due to the stress. How can we improve the elderly person's emotional state and help them heal from this traumatic experience as quickly as possible, so that they can move on from this situation and live the rest of their days happily?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There have always been heartless and rebellious individuals, and I think there can be legal means to deal with them. Let that rebellious person lose everything. It is still possible, unless that person is a martial arts expert, then we should be cautious. He will not accept any public opinion or moral persuasion. Doing such a thing is already going against the natural order. Kind words are useless. We don't have to wait for the villain to act, we can take preemptive action.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: The anger and resentment of the elderly person stem from being betrayed and abandoned by their stepson, which is related to a significant traumatic event in reality. So, if possible, find a lawyer as soon as possible to see if it's possible to reclaim part of the gifted property. Additionally, leverage self-media and public media to exert public opinion pressure on the stepson and reclaim some justice.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16209
       },
       {
        "question": "Failing the college entrance exam, I feel really devastated and even want to die. I am feeling lost.",
        "description": "The college entrance exam scores came out, and I made a serious mistake in performance. I'm really devastated and feel like dying. I'm especially lost.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Don't think like that. Although I haven't experienced the college entrance examination, I can feel the atmosphere of it (I am a student in the third year of junior high school). Failing the exam or failing the college entrance examination can make people feel overwhelmed. But you have to think again, if you die, you can't get over the shame of not doing well in the exam, you can't get into your dream university, you can't pursue your favorite career. Don't forget, you can retake the college entrance examination, but you can't retake the middle school entrance examination. You have already endured the middle school entrance examination, which cannot be retaken, so why worry about this college entrance examination that can be retaken? Agree? If you're confused, then continue to bury yourself in piles of books and prepare for the next year's college entrance examination (actually, I don't know the specifics of the college entrance examination, so it's just a general idea).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15613
       },
       {
        "question": "How to face my mom and make the remaining days for her a little happier?",
        "description": "Mother grew up in a household full of unfinished housework, never catching up with the classroom, occasionally facing grandma's insults and grandpa's beatings. I always feel that she has a rebellious spirit; otherwise, why would she run away from home in the midst of everyone's numbness to this kind of life? The outside world is indeed as she desired. She takes care of herself properly, and looking back now, those few years may have been the happiest time in her life. Later, she fell in love, but her partner cheated on her. Devastated, she returned home and entered into an arranged marriage. She had me, only to discover that her partner was a fraud. She divorced and took me away, only to leave home again. She met someone else, who deceived her once more, but she couldn't go through the turmoil again. Until I fell ill, that person refused to treat me, so mother brought me back home. (A bit dramatic). Afterwards, due to various reasons, she became increasingly irritable. In 2018, she was diagnosed with a recurrence of her breast cancer. My condition also deteriorated greatly, both mentally and physically. Despite all that, we managed to get through the days in a blur. I got accepted into college, and her illness improved somewhat. Sigh, I just want to make the remaining days for her a little happier. However, when she yells and insults me, I really can't control myself and end up arguing back. So, I want to ask if there is any way for me to calmly face her.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, parent communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Hearing your story, I feel deeply sorry for you and your mother. You both deserved a better upbringing and life, but you were repeatedly hurt by the people you loved. It's not your fault. Everyone goes through some kind of trauma in their upbringing, and as adults, we all have to face these traumas and seek healing. Let's chat together and see if I can give you some tips to improve your life. Try to understand your mother. Her difficult childhood experiences were not her fault, and she couldn't control them. She didn't grow up in a loving environment, so she never learned how to love others. She doesn't know how to express her love for you in the right way because she never learned how! A person's childhood and their relationship with their parents form the basis of all their relationships. If they didn't have a good parent-child relationship or were mistreated by their parents, they will accept all the evaluations their parents gave them. When they grow up and choose a partner, they will look for someone who confirms those evaluations. That's why she keeps getting hurt by others. Maybe she's also in pain and wants to escape all the suffering from the past. Her temper flare-ups are probably a reaction to the pressures of life. It's because she's overwhelmed by the various difficulties in life, and negative emotions keep piling up without suitable ways to release them, so she becomes easily angered. I believe no matter how unbearable her life experiences have been, she wants to love you and give you a good life, hoping that you can be healthy and happy. This, you must feel deeply. In fact, she also needs someone to care for her, help her, and accompany her, so she can feel a little bit of love and be empowered to live a good life. When you get into college, your mother will find some relief. This might indicate that she has a bit more peace of mind about you and is happy that you have a good future. So, you are her strongest support at this moment, and you can say that you are her best mental pillar. Take good care of yourself so that you can take care of your mother in a better way. Please believe in yourself. Next, you need to see the real mother and understand her upbringing. This will help you reach a resolution with your inner \"mother,\" allowing you to understand that your mother's attitude is not your fault, and you can interact with her peacefully and calmly. Spend more time with your mother! Chat with her, talk about the past, care for the injured mother, and give her more care and love. Your love will slowly heal her, allowing her to reconcile with her past and let go of any grudges towards those who hurt her, enabling her to live freely and relaxed. If conditions permit, take your mother out for a walk! Nature also has a healing effect, making a person feel relaxed and open-minded. Try to find your mother's hobbies and engage in them together, just like good sisters. Let her experience more happiness and joy. I believe that in the process of helping your mother live happily, you will also find healing. We all have our own wounds, and we have to overcome them on our own. Please believe in yourself and have the courage and power to live a good life. Then, you will have the confidence and bravery to let go of all the pain, and you will rebuild a new and better self. Don't give up. The world and I love you, and there will always be someone willing to accompany you and help you through the toughest stages of life. I look forward to hearing good news from you. Best wishes and keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand the feelings of the person asking the question, after all, it is their own mother. But you cannot deny that her insults are a form of harm to you. Faced with the people who hurt us, we are also very powerless. It is already impressive if we can protect ourselves from getting hurt, so how can we be calm? We are not saints, managing our own lives is already a challenging task for us, and often we have no time to care about others. Even if we want to help others, it should be based on their respect and recognition of us. How can you calmly face someone who yells and insults you? I think it is difficult to do so because others are causing harm to you. We are not gods, just ordinary people, and in the face of harm, all we can do is leave and protect ourselves. Why do you endure someone insulting you? Do you think it is worth helping someone who insults you? Even if it is your parent, the relationship should be based on equality and mutual respect. Regardless of how miserable your mother is, this is her own life. She has made various choices in her life and has reached this point. It is her responsibility to face and resolve it, not yours. What you need to do is to provide help within your ability, as you cannot bear too much interference. The only way to avoid arguing back is to distance yourself from your mother. When she insults you, leave quickly and maintain your mental health instead of being dragged down by her. If possible, try to communicate and find a psychological counselor for your mother, so that professionals can handle it professionally, and her emotions may improve. Right now, what you need to do is take care of yourself, make yourself happier, try more pleasant experiences, take care of your own health, so that you will have the energy to help others. Remember, your own life is the most important. Focus on yourself, not others. Only then can you help yourself navigate life's directions and avoid getting lost and suffering in various circumstances and choices.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You are a very filial child. You feel sorry for your mother's unhappy childhood and sympathize with the hardships she has faced in her life. All of this actually stems from your deep love for your mother. You have also done well by getting into university, which brings some comfort to your mother. However, you now feel a sense of guilt because every time your mother gets angry and loses her temper, you find yourself unable to control your response and end up arguing back. You are afraid that this will hurt your mother, so you hope to find a way to calmly face her anger. In order to understand what to do, let's first examine why your mother is so prone to anger and why you can't help but argue back. The childhood that you described for your mother was an unhappy one, with a grandmother who had no love and a grandfather who didn't care. Growing up in such an environment, children carry a lot of frustration and suppress a lot of emotions. They have a strong need for love, but their hearts are often deprived of it. This is one of the reasons why they repeatedly experience heartbreak in their romantic relationships. Longing for love but being deceived time and time again in reality, is another layer of hurt for them. In the end, your mother gave up her aspirations for the outside world because of her love for her child and returned home to raise you alone. However, her deep-seated desires and suppressed emotions have never found a way to be satisfied or expressed, and they continue to accumulate, resulting in increasingly frequent bouts of anger. Her illness is actually related to her negative emotions. As for you, living in an environment with an emotionally troubled mother for a long time, although she loves you from the bottom of her heart, her inner strength is lacking. As a result, she unconsciously radiates negative energy. Over time, you have also learned some of your mother's patterns. So when your mother yells at you, you can't control your emotions and argue back, even though you don't want to. Now, the first step is to heal yourself. What hurts have you experienced in the process of growing up? What pain have you felt? What suppressed emotions do you have? Start by healing those wounds and giving an outlet to the emotions you have been holding onto. Then you will have the strength to face your mother. With her, you can try to make her feel your love, accept her, understand her, and warm her. I recommend reading some books related to psychology, which might give you some inspiration. For example, \"May You Have a Life Illuminated by Love.\" Finally, I wish you and your mother happiness and joy every day!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, sending you a big warm hug! Your mother's life has been so difficult, and I'm sure you have also experienced a lot of hardships while living with her. Taking care of your terminally ill, irritable mother while dealing with your own health issues is truly heartbreaking. I see that you are a very kind and filial child. Despite your own illness, you are trying your best to remain calm in the face of your mother's outbursts and insults, and you are determined to make her last days a little happier. Your filial piety truly touches me. Despite the difficult circumstances your mother has faced, she was able to leave home in search of her own happiness and take care of herself with dignity, which shows that she has always been strong in very challenging living conditions. At the same time, I also see that you are equally strong and admirable. Under your careful attention, your mother's condition has improved and you have been accepted into university. This is truly something worth recognizing and praising! As you said, no matter what we go through, life goes on day by day. In the face of life's hardships, some people may be knocked down, while others become even stronger, just like a tree that has weathered storms and stands taller. Your question is how to remain calm when faced with your mother's yelling and insults, and how to make her last days a little happier. What I want to tell you is, my dear child, you have already done your best. Your mother's condition has been truly challenging for you. I believe you have shown utmost patience in dealing with her, but you also have your own health issues and have undoubtedly endured a great deal of stress. So first and foremost, take care of yourself. Understand that there are limits to what we can do as humans. We cannot make everything perfect, but as long as we try our best, we can be at peace with ourselves. I also hope you can reach out to other support systems in society so that other relatives of your mother can provide help. Don't bear the burden all alone. I believe that you, who have gone through hardships and storms, will become stronger and more outstanding in your future life. Hugs to you once again!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's not easy to see the experiences that the OP's mother and the OP have gone through. Maybe it's because they have seen the hardships in their lives that the OP hopes to make their mother's life better with their own strength in the remaining years. It's really touching. How old is the OP now, and how old is their mother? From the \"conflict\" between you and your mother, it seems that there may be many things that you are not consciously aware of at the level of consciousness: for example, the suppressed things in your mother's past life and the suppressed things in your shared life. In reality, it seems that it is your mother yelling and insulting you, but it may be more about her yelling and insulting someone from the past life, and \"you\" are just unintentionally being her \"mediator,\" or unintentionally becoming a substitute for \"certain individuals.\" Maybe your mother yells and insults you because she learned it from her own mother and only knows how to communicate with her children in this way, not using other methods. Maybe your mother yells and insults you due to health reasons. The OP can talk to their mother when she is in a calm mood and find out what happened at that moment from her perspective. They can also express their feelings to their mother in writing. I hope my reply can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, I feel really sorry for your experiences. Your mother's difficult life is truly heart-wrenching. Your and your mother's struggles really make me want to give both of you a big hug. First, regarding your mother's illness, it is actually related to her upbringing and emotions. Throughout her life, your mother has been repressing herself. I believe that she has dissatisfaction, emotions, and pain from her past. But it seems like none of it can be resolved. One thing after another, your mother pretends that everything is fine, as you mentioned. She takes care of herself on the surface, but underneath, there is so much more going on with her. However, no one can truly care for your mother. After long-term repression, your mother eventually became sick. It can be said that her illness is largely due to psychological factors. Your mother's current bad temper, when you think about it, why is that? Take notice of how your mother expresses her love for you. Some people don't know how to express it, so even though they love, it comes out as anger, insults, blame, criticism, rejection, coldness... When your illness worsens, how does your mother react? Sit down and have a conversation with your mother, see where her emotional blockages lie. Perhaps you will see some changes and I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear~, thank you for coming to my Answering Hall. Although I may not have the same experiences as you, we can still chat about the pattern of a person's life. It is similar to doing homework in school, from primary school to middle school, high school, and even entering society. Each stage has different tasks for us to complete. You may not be good at Chinese, and I may not be good at math. You may be excellent in English, and I may excel in history. So, let's see your strengths and advantages and start from there, focusing on what we can do. Here are a few tips for you: in your heart, say to your mother, \"Everything is my fault, I'm sorry, please forgive me,\" 1008 times a day. Say \"Thank you, I love you\" 1080 times a day, and see if there is any improvement. There should be, as we have made many attempts. Looking forward to your feedback. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 762
       },
       {
        "question": "Always speaking in contradictions? Why do friends talk in such a weird way?",
        "description": "When chatting with others, for example, when pursuing a girlfriend, he will speak in a sarcastic manner, saying that the girlfriend is the one pursuing him; for example, when borrowing a car, he will post on social media claiming it as his new ride; for example, when he only invested a few thousand in business, he will exaggerate and say that he invested over tens of thousands. What kind of mentality is this??",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. First, allow me to talk about my impression of you: * It seems that you are having difficulty understanding some of your friend's behaviors, such as bragging and exaggerating. This makes you feel uncomfortable and even seemingly disgusted. * It seems like you are mainly talking about your friend, and I haven't seen much information about you. * However, you seem to prefer a straightforward and factual way of expression and thinking. Now, allow me to share some of my thoughts: * Although the main content of your venting is about your perception of others, I guess your subconscious is actually trying to express some of your feelings and thoughts through evaluating others. * In classical psychoanalysis in psychology, a person's personality structure is divided into the id, ego, and superego. The id seeks to do pleasurable things regardless of consequences, the superego imposes strict moral standards on you, and the ego represents the real you, torn between the two. Perhaps you are familiar with this concept as well. * One possibility is that your superego does not allow you to boast or exaggerate, and emphasizes being factual. However, maybe your id actually craves the images of wealth, popularity, and status, even though you can't experience them yourself. Indulging in fantasizing about it might be satisfying to a certain extent. Your ego may lean more towards following the guidance of the superego, so you rarely speak bombastically like your friend. Your friend's id and superego may be similar to yours, but his ego couldn't resist the temptations of the id, leading to the expression of those desires in his exaggerated words and actions. * Your lack of understanding and even disdain towards your friend actually aligns with the demands of your superego within your personality. If you didn't evaluate your friend's behavior and words in this way, your ego might start questioning the restrictions imposed by your superego, and in the end, you might become unsure or gradually succumb to the desires of the id. * There can be many perspectives to understand both you and your friend. But understanding you necessitates knowing more about you, including your personality and values. So, please feel free to share more about your story. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, what you're saying is actually more like vanity. To put it simply, it's bragging. So, we need to answer three questions: 1. What is vanity? 2. Factors that lead to vanity. 3. How to deal with people who have strong vanity? 1. What is vanity? Vanity is the excessive manifestation of self-esteem distortion. It is a character defect that pursues superficial appearances and is an abnormal social emotion and psychological state displayed by people in order to gain honor and attract general attention. 2. Factors that lead to vanity: a. Social and family environment In business families and rural families, exaggerated descriptions are often heard. The former is to increase one's own value in order to gain more benefits, while the latter is to cover up their embarrassment. In the internet industry, everyone has titles stacked up to a dozen, and it's inevitable to encounter some relatives of national leaders on the green-skin train. Of course, this is just an analogy without any discriminatory meaning. It's just that these phenomena are more common in these environments. Solid entrepreneurs and pragmatic farmers are the mainstream. b. Personal factors One reason may be that they have many friends who like to boast, or their reference frame is much better than theirs, and they are temporarily unable to catch up (for example, a junior clerk may have nothing special in the office, but can proudly say that they work for the government - just an analogy). Another reason may be to cover up the fact that they are not as outstanding as they appear. However, the essence is that their expectations for themselves are far from being met, so they show off verbally, just like we often say, the essence of arrogance is actually self-insecurity. 3. How to deal with people who have strong vanity? If you just dislike them, it's better not to say it out loud. Taking it a step further, you can slightly compliment them, and they will be very happy. If you want to correct them, perhaps it should be based on a good relationship with them, subtly influencing them with emotions and reasoning.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21469
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old girl is very sensitive and easily experiences emotional breakdowns. What should she do if she is afraid of being abandoned?",
        "description": "Over the past five or six years, I've been particularly afraid of being disliked and feeling unworthy of love. I constantly worry about being abandoned and fear losing people. I don't know if I have a bit of social withdrawal, as I always prefer to be alone and instinctively avoid others when they approach me. Many people have grown tired of listening to my troubles, so now I keep everything to myself and don't talk to anyone anymore. I easily lose control and break down emotionally when facing certain situations, and I tend to rely on my boyfriend to help regulate my emotions. I am heavily influenced by my boyfriend, and my mood can easily turn for the better or worse. But the more I care about him, the more I fear losing him. I am particularly sensitive and have been diagnosed with depression. Whenever depressive feelings arise, it's difficult for me to adjust. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi, dear questioner. It's fortunate to be the same age and gender as you. I can understand how girls feel happy, angry, sad, and joyful. The first question is whether it is worth being loved. Why would you doubt yourself, dear? Being sixteen is the most beautiful age for a girl. You shouldn't let yourself be trapped by depression. Such a lovely girl like you definitely deserves to be treated gently. It's normal for you to instinctively push people away when they approach you. I don't like it when people approach me either. Everyone has different ways of dealing with things. Some people are naturally good at socializing and become the center of attention in a crowd, while others are not good at interacting. Don't worry, dear. It's just a natural character trait. You don't need to think too much, dear. Girls are naturally sensitive to negative emotions and find it harder to recover from them. It seems unbearable for you to keep telling others about your problems repeatedly. Your heart is always restless. But even if others don't want to listen to your problems, don't keep them to yourself, dear. You can do more of the things you like and think about starting new things. For example, when I'm unhappy, I listen to English songs, which makes me feel much better. You can try it, dear. Regarding losing control of emotions, dear, please pay more attention to controlling them. Don't let your emotions become your master. Choose a healthy way to release them. Depression is not terrifying, dear. Look at it from a positive perspective. It will get better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my response can bring you some insights. First of all, I can see that the lovely person who asked the question has already realized their existing problems and has a desire to change, which is already great! So now, we should immediately seek positive changes. Here are a few small suggestions for your question: Get to know yourself again and find out the causes of depression. Fully utilize your strengths. Once you have identified your strengths, make full use of them. This will help increase your self-identity and become more confident. Don't pursue perfection. Nobody is perfect, so don't deny yourself completely because of a setback. If you immerse yourself in a sense of failure, you will feel disappointed, frustrated, and even helpless. Therefore, shift your focus to your strengths and don't just focus on your shortcomings. Accept yourself. No matter what kind of person you are, you are unique. Learn to be happy for yourself. Because you don't need everyone's approval, and you don't need to live like others. Accept your true self. I hope this can help you. If you have more questions or concerns, feel free to private message me or follow our official WeChat account: Mental Health Pro.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16165
       },
       {
        "question": "When angry, it is easy to tear up when trying to express thoughts or when being yelled at by others. What's going on?",
        "description": "When I was a child, I would easily cry when my parents criticized me and raised their voices at me. When I had thoughts and wanted to argue with them, I would start crying while talking. I try my best to control it because it makes me appear insecure. Nowadays, I mostly keep my thoughts to myself, but sometimes I really want to express my thoughts and frustrations. However, I still find my voice trembling and my emotions unstable. What's wrong with me? I don't like this because it makes it difficult for me to express my emotions properly. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, vulnerability and tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Post author, hello~ First, sending you a warm hug. I completely understand how you feel. The influence of childhood can have varying degrees of impact on our entire lives. As mentioned by the original poster, being criticized and yelled at during childhood because of being too weak and unable to reason with adults, crying became the best way to vent frustration. Over time, this emotional response became a reflex to protect oneself. So, when faced with similar situations as adults, we tend to cry just like when we were children. This is not a problem specific to the original poster. I suggest that next time you encounter such a situation, try to calm down and express yourself after your emotions have settled. Don't worry about what others might say about you or how they might criticize you. As long as you can articulate what you want to say, then it's a success. I hope the original poster can resolve their inner confusion and successfully overcome themselves. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2123
       },
       {
        "question": "I gave my first time to my boyfriend, but we broke up. I'm so scared, what should I do?",
        "description": "I gave myself to him for the first time... At that time, I didn't think we would separate. But now that we've broken up, I feel dirty about myself? I'm so scared... I actually mind if a guy is not a virgin, because I feel jealous thinking about the person I like being with someone else like that. But I'm not a virgin anymore either...? I can't help but dislike myself.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing relationships, sexual behavior, virginity complex.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP. In our early lives, our parents placed a great importance on sexual activity and sexual life due to moral and self-protection considerations. This was valuable to us when we were young, as it prevented us from experiencing forbidden fruit and getting hurt at a tender age. We protected ourselves with these simple moral values. However, now that we have grown up and become mature, at an age where we can take responsibility for ourselves and experience love, these moral concepts have become a hindrance and cause us distress. When we start a relationship, it is not because of the other person's sexual activity or whether they are a virgin or not, but because they meet our expectations. Please remember your first love; in the beginning, all you cared about were their appearance, attitude, and behavior towards you. When you were together, you only focused on the sweetness of the moment. Please rest assured that not only the beginning of your first love, but every relationship you will experience in the future will be the same. The topic of virginity will only be considered when it comes to the next stage of love and involves sexual activity. You mentioned that you would mind if the other person is not a virgin and would feel jealous. Even if the other person is a virgin, but has emotional experiences, you may still feel jealous. Even if the other person has no emotional experiences and simply passes by a beautiful woman on the street and takes a few extra glances, you may still feel jealous. Jealousy and possessiveness are normal emotions in love, and these emotions add sweetness and passion to love. Ultimately, jealousy and possessiveness stem from the fear of losing. We are afraid of losing something valuable and precious to us. If your next partner feels jealous for this reason, it indicates that you are cherished and loved by them. We don't care whether a stranger has emotional experiences or not because they have no relevance to us. Your value is not determined by whether you have engaged in sexual activity or have sexual experiences. I believe you should understand this point as well. You may be cute, have a sweet smile, or have a lively personality. These are your values, the beautiful parts of yourself that you show to the world, and they attract others to love and understand you. Please have confidence and do not describe yourself as \"dirty\". Even though you have separated and said goodbye to your previous relationship, I believe you also gained sweetness in that relationship. You entrusted your body to them, surely after careful consideration, but unfortunately, you couldn't continue that relationship. Sexual intimacy is a joyful experience that enhances our love life and is a natural progression in a relationship. I hope my personal insights can provide you with some insignificant help and I hope you can let go of the past and bravely embrace a new beginning.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Yiye Mingxin, I want you to know that some of the thoughts in our minds do not originate from within us, but rather from external influences. Just like your situation with the \"first-night syndrome\". Giving your first time to your ex-boyfriend and feeling dirty after the breakup, and believing that other boys are also dirty if they are not someone's first, is a result of social conditioning. 1. Social role: The initial social role of the \"first-night syndrome\" was a tool used by the upper class in feudal society to control women and restrict their conscious adherence to chastity. 2. Physiological effects: Since you have just ended your first relationship and may not have had many previous partners, this feeling is understandable. Indeed, promiscuity can lead to diseases, and your feeling of being \"dirty\" also partly stems from the physiological aversion to promiscuity. 3. Psychological effects: Jealousy arises from the thought of the person you like being with someone else, and you find yourself in the same situation, so you feel afraid and dislike yourself. This is also related to the lack of sex education in our country, where sex is a topic that's difficult to talk about, and we cannot view sexual relationships properly. Talking about sex always has associations with being \"dirty\". You need to change your preconceptions. Here's a simple example: animals do not have as much moral condemnation towards \"sex\". They follow their instincts. On the one hand, this can be seen as animals being \"inferior\", but on the other hand, it's actually humans being restrained by \"morality\". I am not advocating for people to behave like animals, but sometimes humans need to return to their true nature and embrace their natural instincts. Sex is not as important or as disgraceful as we imagine it to be. It is merely a part of natural selection, but humans have assigned many other attributes to it. You can watch scientific documentaries that depict human sexuality in a formal manner, without holding onto prejudice. You are not wrong, and there is no need to dislike yourself. Face sexuality and face yourself. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The first time and all that are just shackles imposed on women by society. But you can't lock yourself up because of this. You are an individual, a free individual, and your sexuality is your own freedom with anyone. In principle, you have no obligation to remain pure for anyone. In ancient times, the requirement for women to remain pure was mainly to ensure that the child belonged to the man. Women were subordinate to men in a patriarchal society. But now, men and women are equal. No one is anyone's possession, so how can there be a concept of being \"dirty\"? If anyone despises you for not being pure, then this person, this boyfriend, is not worth it. After all, the most important thing in a relationship is sex, and if it completely overshadows any spiritual connection and makes him have opinions of you, then being together with him has no meaning at all.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, scared girl, I don't think there's anything wrong with your thoughts. Everyone has their own views on love and sex. It's great to want to save your first time for someone you truly love, and it's also theirs to have as well. Being completely loyal to each other, after meeting amidst countless others, and staying together for a long time, isn't that beautiful? What's wrong with that? We have the right to choose our own views on love and sex in this open world. To only date and have sex with one person in our lifetime. Why can't we choose such thoughts? Why can't we choose this kind of love? I say it's good because I have witnessed this beauty. It happened with a couple who knew each other in high school and were dating throughout college. After graduating, they entered society and dated for many years. The man had normal sexual desires, how could he not? But the woman remained steadfast, believing that if the man truly loved her, he would understand, accept her decision, and if he threatened to break up, then it would prove that he didn't love her enough. They had intense arguments and fights, but the woman stood her ground because she believed in the purity and beauty of a lifelong commitment to one person. She shared her desires with the man. This pure and beautiful love touched the man's heart, and they reconciled. They started their relationship without sex and continued to adjust until they got married. Besides their views on sex, they also had differences in lifestyle habits, etc. What kind of fairy tale love is this? In this modern society where both men and women are so open-minded, there's actually a woman like her who holds on to such a belief, and she also found a man who is willing to accept and accompany her. So, I always remember and marvel at the existence of such beautiful reality. The only thing you did wrong is that you didn't hold on to your boundaries, you didn't stick to your choices. When your boyfriend wanted to have sex for the first time, did you hesitate? Did you refuse? After your boyfriend brought up the idea of breaking up, did you have any regrets? Did you regret giving yourself away so easily? Since you have chosen a lifelong commitment to one person, you should stick to it. Only have sex on your wedding night, this is a principle and a boundary. Failing to hold onto your boundaries is a very scary thing. Think about your fear and despair now, what you lost was the beautiful life you always wanted. I think this incident, girl, you should always remember and be a person with principles and boundaries. Learn to say no and stick to your own choices. Otherwise, there will be other things happening in the future that will make you feel dark and wonder why things have turned out this way against your will. For example, if your mother-in-law keeps demanding things, or classmates keep borrowing money, or giving in to your children over and over again. Think about how many principles you have in your life, please stick to them. Stick to your principles and boundaries, and give yourself a clear conscience. Good luck, girl. Forgot to mention, the incident has already happened, and you can choose a different attitude towards life. You can choose to have sex while dating. Having a harmonious sexual life in marriage is also important. What if you find out after getting married that your sex life is not harmonious? Divorce? The only thing to note is to take precautions before marriage, stick to your principles, and always use protection, or consistently take short-acting contraceptives. Based on your initial conservative choices, let me inform you again that things like withdrawal method and safe period are not reliable at all. Only condoms are the safest and most reliable contraceptive method, and they also help prevent gynecological diseases. Remember to use a condom consistently. Forgetting to take short-acting contraceptives may also reduce their effectiveness. Read more about sexual health education for women, protect yourself, and remember you have the right to make decisions. Hopefully, you can see that it doesn't matter whether you're a virgin or not, you are still you, and you can even be better. Be a woman with principles and charm. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, sweetheart. This psychological issue is influenced by traditional moral and cultural understandings as well as mainstream societal norms. However, with the progress of society, this problem has been increasingly addressed with equality and openness. Ultimately, it comes down to one's own sense of self-worth and whether they feel good about themselves. Besides taking responsibility for their own choices, individuals should also realize that it is not entirely their fault. Therefore, it's important to treat oneself better and truly love oneself first in order to have the ability to choose someone who treats them better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is good to have such thoughts, but it can also be dangerous. Good, because it shows that you value and love yourself. Dangerous, because this mindset can increase the risk of developing depression in the future. It is said that love leads to sex, and we should approach love and sex from a correct perspective and starting point. Life is incomplete without love or just sex. Whether it is in life or in relationships, we need to have a correct attitude. Take yourself as an example: if you are not willing for your boyfriend to give his \"first time\" to someone else, then how do you think guys would feel about you? So, don't overly obsess about each other's so-called \"first time.\" If you truly encounter someone you love and who loves you, then the concept of \"first time\" will not be as important. Let the past be a beautiful memory of your first love. I hope that in the future, you will not be bound by the concept of sex, but rather be true to yourself. In life, always look forward. Even if you look back, it will only be fragments of memories from your journey of growth. Love yourself, love your family, and eventually find someone who loves and is loved by you. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I used to think that way too. I thought we would never separate, but reality gave me a hard slap. I can only say that the girl is not right for you, you can find someone better. Remember, you are the only one who can love yourself in this world. Of course, if you can find someone who loves you more, they will never mind your first time. Although everyone wants to be with their most loved person for the first time. But this is really not a big deal. After all, there are still many people who love you in this world. I'll give you a little advice, you need to learn to accept it slowly. Seriously, first enhance your own capacity for happiness. Seriously, learn to smile even when things are tough. First, learn to forgive yourself. At the same time, think about what you want to do. Unless you never want to date or get married in the future. I hope you meet someone you love and who loves you! I'm not a psychologist. I just hope you have a better future. You're amazing for being able to talk about this, beautiful girl. I think you're great. Why am I talking like an old person? I've been like this since my twenties, haha.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13067
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a friend who seems to have a dissociative identity disorder. How can I comfort her?",
        "description": "I have a friend who told me that her dad often hits and scolds her at home, and sometimes he gets so overwhelmed that he wants to commit suicide. She hears a voice in her head that comforts her, and she is particularly sensitive to that voice. Sometimes, she feels a bit dizzy in her mind, and the world around her feels a bit unreal. I want to ask if her alter ego has already awakened?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Nice to meet you! I hope my answer can help you. Please don't jump to conclusions. If you notice any symptoms, you can take your friend to a tertiary hospital at the city level or above for a medical check-up and receive scientific treatment. This is the best approach. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. I am very willing to listen to your story!!!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15291
       },
       {
        "question": "Sometimes when I joke with my husband, why do I always feel like he lacks magnanimity?",
        "description": "I am actually very generous, but sometimes I want to joke with my husband or just act cute in front of him to tease him, intentionally not giving him the food I am eating. However, he gets very angry and seriously says that our eldest son is just like me, very selfish! Then he doesn't like my behavior or I see the disgusted expression on his face. I don't think so, I just think he is not open-minded enough, too petty.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, and marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner! Hugs to you~ After reading your description, it seems that you're not quite satisfied with your husband's personality. Maybe you're more easygoing in life, which is causing a difference in personalities between you two. Based on your description, it appears that your husband doesn't quite understand when you're just joking around in your daily life. In my opinion, the examples you gave are just small matters, but why do they trigger such a big reaction from your husband? Perhaps you need to take this seriously. Since I don't know much about your family situation, I can only offer advice based on my own experience. I suggest that after noticing a change in your husband's attitude, you can explain the situation to him in a timely manner and let him understand the context. Because everyone has different personalities, the degree to which we accept jokes also varies. Sometimes what we think is a joke may not be seen that way by others. Maybe your husband is more cautious by nature. So, it's necessary for you to explore the level of joking in your daily life and make sure that the jokes are ones that the other person can accept. Most importantly, communication is key. You can try to understand why he reacts so strongly, as communication can solve most problems.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 278
       },
       {
        "question": "Depressed, suppressed, lacking passion, lacking energy, not interested in socializing, what should I do?",
        "description": "Talk about my own problems: 1. I don't like dealing with the same person all the time, like a colleague who constantly asks trivial questions and talks about insignificant things. No matter how annoyed I am, he always smiles and it makes me feel very oppressed. 2. Sometimes I temporarily ignore my girlfriend, and she would send me messages like \"why did other people in the group get red envelopes (money) and not tell me about it?\" Do I have to be the second to grab the red envelope and then go over and say, \"Quickly grab the red envelope before it's gone?\" Or make fun of her, like \"someone else sent red envelopes and you didn't grab them, hahaha...\" Because of this, I am really hurt by the questioning, feeling emotionally low, and lacking energy in everything I do. I often embarrass myself at work, although I know that not all the problems are because of my girlfriend. 3. When others make jokes about my girlfriend in public, I don't immediately stand up for her and I don't know if it's appropriate. When my girlfriend is upset, I feel very discouraged and I think, am I heartless? My girlfriend also questions me like this. People's hearts are made of flesh, so why can't I feel anything?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I can see that you have listed three issues that bother you: problems with interpersonal relationships with others, intimacy issues with your girlfriend, and perhaps you have also noticed that there are problems in dealing with yourself. Regarding the first problem that troubles you, feeling unable to get along with a certain colleague and not liking to deal with him, but he always asks this and that, making you feel oppressed. First, if you are sure that this colleague is really bothering you, making it unbearable for you, then I suggest you keep your distance and try to have as little contact with him as possible. Or you can express your feelings indirectly, that you need peace and quiet, and let the other person understand your boundaries and please do not disturb. But if you feel that it might be due to your own bad mood, low spirits, and irritability, and being with others makes you feel like a psychological burden, then we can regulate our emotions. I recommend practicing mindfulness and meditation, having a calm conversation with yourself, understanding your inner self, listening to the voice within, and trying to understand and accept your inner self, learning to get along and \"communicate\" with yourself, \"seeing\" and comforting our inner emotions. It's an important lesson for our growth~ The second and third issues are about the problems you have in your relationship with your girlfriend, feeling upset and lacking vitality due to being questioned by your girlfriend over small matters. Also, because you didn't help your girlfriend and didn't consider her feelings, she became very angry and felt that you were indifferent. It makes you start doubting yourself, whether you are really like what your girlfriend says, unable to figure out what's wrong with you~ From your descriptions, I can sense that your emotions are not very stable, you are easily influenced by the outside world or others, and you become a bit unable to control your emotions~ You feel depressed, oppressed, lacking passion, vitality, and having difficulty in communication \u2014 perhaps you have encountered a bottleneck or confusion in life, unable to find yourself, losing your goals to strive for; or you have encountered someone or something that troubles you and you can't handle or solve it, causing distress, frustration, and helplessness. You have fallen into a depressed and anxious state, unable to relieve or get out of negative emotions~ I suggest that you communicate and exchange more with your family, girlfriend, and friends, try to express your inner feelings to someone you trust, even if they may not necessarily be able to help, at least you can vent your feelings and let them \"see\" you, which may make you feel better in your inner self. In addition to the aforementioned meditation practice, you can also write psychological notes, record your true inner feelings. This is another way to \"release\" and have a good soothing effect on emotions, which is also helpful for relieving emotions. I hope you can be confident, strong, and have faith, which will also be helpful for yourself. Persist in being yourself and believe that it will bring more sense of security to your girlfriend, allowing her to feel that you are more reliable and trustworthy. What do you think?",
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         {
          "answer_text": "How old are you? How long has this situation been going on? What were you like before? Have there been any incidents? From the description, it seems that you are a sensitive and cautious person. You can keenly perceive your own emotions, but you have difficulty expressing them. I'm not sure if you don't know how to express yourself, if you're afraid to express yourself, or if you're not sure if you should express yourself. If you don't know how to express yourself, you can directly explain your feelings and emotions to the other person. For example, in the first situation, you can say, \"I'm feeling annoyed right now and not in the mood to listen. I need some time to be alone.\" This way, you can express yourself without making the other person uncomfortable. If you're afraid to express yourself, think about what consequences you're afraid of after expressing yourself. Are those consequences really worth being afraid of? If you really can't handle the consequences, you can write down your emotions that you can't express verbally. If you're unsure, think about whether the situation and context are suitable for expressing your emotions. Then, later on, try to understand what happened, what caused it, and how you can handle such situations better in the future. In fact, most of us don't know how to respond appropriately in emergency situations. Even if you realize afterwards that your reaction was less than ideal, there's no need to blame or feel guilty. Trust that at that time, you made the safest and most reliable choice for yourself. Throughout our lives, we are constantly on the path of self-development and growth. Don't rush, take it slowly, and everything will be alright!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you very much for your trust. I see the three issues you mentioned. I can feel your clear depression, and I really hope that you can express your emotions and needs clearly. But at that moment, it is difficult for you to express your needs, show care for others, and refuse some things. Regarding your situation, the main problems you are currently facing are in interpersonal relationships. One is with colleagues or less close relationships, and the other is with intimate relationships, like your girlfriend. For these two situations, I would like to offer some suggestions. 1. For relationships with colleagues, you can assertively express your boundaries, for example, saying that you are a bit busy at the moment and may not be able to help them. Or explain that you are not really interested in what they are talking about and may not have any valuable advice to offer. 2. For intimate relationships, if you find it difficult to deeply experience the emotions of this girlfriend, you can observe a few things about her. One is her tone of voice, and another is her facial expressions. You can say something regularly, like \"You seem angry. I don't know how to help you in front of all these people. I feel disappointed too. In the future, please let me know what you would like me to say and how you want me to act.\" These are just some simple answers to your problems. If needed, you can search for me and contact me. I hope you find happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, I feel that your mood is quite low, and you are experiencing distress about relationships in your life. These worries have accumulated and are causing you trouble. Although it is normal to experience emotional fluctuations, it can bring different feelings and experiences to different people from the same situation. In your description, you mentioned your colleague, and when he rambles and asks questions, you feel annoyed. However, you mentioned that he is still smiling. You feel suppressed and frustrated, so how do you express your feelings to him? I believe this must have happened repeatedly to make you feel so suppressed. In fact, I just want to say, have you expressed your feelings to him? If you are reluctant to express yourself, perhaps he is completely unaware of your feelings. In your interaction with your girlfriend, you also feel demanded. This part seems similar to your interaction with your colleague, as they both have demands on you, whether it's asking questions or blaming you for not reminding her about someone giving out red envelopes. It seems that you feel overwhelmed by all these demands. I cannot know how you usually interact with people in your daily life, but from these few sentences of description, I can sense that your feelings seem to have been overlooked, and they are all taking from you (or making demands), while you are struggling and feeling exhausted. As for the third point on your emotional perception, I think that based on the descriptions of the previous two points, you are able to perceive emotions. However, you are always being asked to experience others' needs. Many times, we also need others to see our feelings, and we need to see our own feelings as well. Otherwise, it can be very difficult!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Personal opinion: \u2460 You can think about why others would do this. \u2461 Treat others as yourself, if you receive the treatment from others, whether good or bad, how would you respond? \u2462 It may be helpful to give the other person some response, for example, when someone greets you, you can also greet them in return. \u2463 Your girlfriend questions why you \"can't feel the hearts of others.\" From the incident of \"you didn't remind her to grab the red envelope and she complained,\" perhaps she is complaining that \"you haven't been caring about her.\" Care is the sincere understanding and love that one person gives to another, whether it is spontaneous or begged by the other person. Therefore, you may need to pay more attention to how many times you have treated your girlfriend like this, whether it's your problem or her problem. \u2464 Your behavior may be a subconscious psychological response formed in some familiar environments in the past. If that's the case and you want to change, you may consider watching some related videos to help change yourself. \u2465 You didn't remind your girlfriend to grab the red envelope, so why not remind her in similar situations in the future? I don't know the mechanism of grabbing red envelopes, but maybe if you remind her to grab the second-to-last one, she will feel comforted. \u2466 If it really isn't your problem but someone else's, if someone is causing trouble and being unreasonable, such as repeatedly making trouble without reason, you can choose how to respond on your own.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Having a girlfriend is better for communication than being alone. By being with each other, you can fully exercise your communication skills. Pay more attention to her and talk to her more, you will become more active yourself. If you don't find the discussion topics interesting, it may be because you are not involved in them and therefore cannot feel the fun. Gradually, you may think that all these things are boring. If she likes grabbing red envelopes, you can remind her more often, sometimes grabbing red envelopes can be a source of joy. Being too focused on yourself, when you spend more time caring about her and your surroundings, your inner conflicts will be reduced. Try to break free from just being trapped in your own situation and think more about the other person. Now you have a girlfriend to accompany you, at least you won't be lonely. If you feel depressed, for example, if you are motionless, it is better to do something, even if it is discussing what to eat today or how to spend the weekend with her. Being silent all the time will only keep you in the same state, so it is better to do something, at least it can reduce negative feelings.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear host. First, when someone smiles at you, even when you are impatient with them, it means that you haven't made it clear to them how you're feeling. Additionally, you haven't learned to express your emotions clearly, which has led to the lack of understanding from the other person. If you encounter this situation again, you can directly tell them. Sometimes, being dismissive can hurt more than being straightforward. The second and third points can be summarized together. It's true that your girlfriend's behavior is biased, but from your description, it doesn't seem like you have strong feelings for her. You don't seem to be very invested in your girlfriend's issues, and the relationship might be superficial. Furthermore, if you really like someone, you would certainly want to go along with their wishes. Based on your actions, it's obvious that you are not like that. You should seriously consider the current status of your relationship with your girlfriend and its future development. As for your lack of passion, feeling suppressed, and being depressed, it's mostly likely due to not having any goals or things you enjoy. Only when you have passion for everything will you have a sense of anticipation for the world. You can try developing some interests and hobbies.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9961
       },
       {
        "question": "\"No matter how outstanding or amazing you may be, the question always remains: what is the meaning of life?\"",
        "description": "What is the purpose of being alive? As it is now, life is in a cycle, repeating over and over again. In the current human life, generation after generation tries to live, have children, and when they grow up, it's the same cycle. It continues to repeat. Whether you are an exceptional person or an ordinary person, you are still repeating. Also, all life, one by one, disappears and reappears. But what is its significance?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel like it might be the sense of experience. From a macro perspective, the lives of any person, animal, or plant are like dust; compared to the billions of years of Earth's history, a person's life of a few decades cannot leave much of a trace. However, this macro perspective is made up of countless micro moments like a year, a day, an hour. Each day in our lives is experienced one by one. How we spend each day in the span of a few decades, what we can experience is completely different. Although we go to work every Monday to Friday, the work content is similar every day, such as browsing resumes, making phone calls to schedule interviews, interviewing, negotiating salaries, and arranging new employee onboarding... But today, maybe we will come across a particularly suitable resume, have a particularly smooth phone conversation, and directly schedule an interview for the next day. When we hang up the phone, we feel really good and think about buying a big cup of hazelnut latte at noon to relax under the sun. The next day, the candidate stands us up and doesn't come, it's really disappointing. Every day, there will be different experiences. After experiencing disappointment, maybe there will be an even better resume tomorrow! Colleagues, friends, family, children are changing every day, giving us different challenges and emotions every day. A high school classmate who hasn't been in contact for many years may suddenly come to town and invite us for a meal, and on the way, we help a mother pushing a stroller by holding the door for her, receiving her heartfelt thanks... Every little thing can bring us special experiences, good or bad, pleasant, sad, angry, painful, and disappointing... These experiences may enrich our inner selves and make us who we are now, and we can become an even better version of ourselves in the future.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 4459
       },
       {
        "question": "After resigning, the company tries to retain me. Should I stay?",
        "description": "I am currently working in an overseas branch of a trading company. This company has a family-style management model and emphasizes loyalty. They hired me to do some optimization work, but after I arrived, I discovered various problems. For example, non-professionals are dominating the work of professionals, and there is chaos and lack of trust in management, to the point where I cannot carry out my work properly. Later, I decided to resign because of an incident, but the company has been trying to retain me. I told them that I still wanted to leave, but I would like to try doing things my way for two months first. However, I encountered significant resistance when I tried to implement my ideas. At the same time, through a friend's introduction, I interviewed with another company in the same city. The interview went well, but the salary offered was lower than what I'm getting in my current company. Taking other factors into consideration, I politely declined the offer. Later, I found out that the person in charge of the company where I interviewed knows the leader of my current company. They called to inquire about my situation, and now everyone in my current company knows about my job interview with the other company, but they still want others to convince me to stay. Just today, the company I interviewed with called me again, expressing their desire for me to work there. I am now torn about whether I should resign and go there.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, workplace relationships, work pressure.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "This is the fourth question I am answering, hoping to be helpful to you. As the saying goes, the workplace is like a battlefield, in the workplace, apart from interests, there is nothing else! This point must be clear, everything is about profit for the company and for you! In order to help you make a good choice, let's analyze the situation you are in and your subconscious mind. 1. Regarding the current situation: you are relatively satisfied with the salary of your current job, but you are not satisfied with the operation mode of the current company and some criticisms of a traditional family business. You have even reached the point of considering leaving the job, although you have not resigned temporarily and are struggling to push the work in your own way. However, the fact that you have already interviewed with another company has happened and you have been recognized. In your subconscious, you also have expectations for the new company, but the salary is not as expected. In addition, because the two company's bosses have connections, your intention to seek another way has also been known by the boss of the current company. The current situation may be a bit awkward and there may be more uncertain risks in the future, so you are struggling to decide whether to stay or leave. 2. About the risks: firstly, the direct reduction of salary is definitely the most basic consideration and will have the most direct impact. In addition, the importance of loyalty in family businesses will directly affect the development of your current work. This is a big taboo in similar family businesses, unless the boss makes a wise decision or you are truly outstanding in your abilities, otherwise there will definitely be hidden dangers in the future, which will eventually have an impact. Finally, the decision to stay or leave, when we work outside, we are all tools, and the goal is to support ourselves and our families through work. The company values certain values that are beneficial to its development. Considering your current situation, there are risks whether you stay or leave, and you can only weigh the pros and cons and make a choice based on maximizing your interests. 3. About the decision: this is a comprehensive consideration and requires an overall analysis, such as money, pressure, career prospects, reputation, interpersonal relationships, and so on. This is a difficult process, and I believe you have been struggling with it. Let's make it simple and use the anticipated results to deduce how to choose. Result 1: stay in the current company. In a family business, they despise employees who do not follow their rules. They only look at the results and whether they bring benefits. If there is any slight mistake, it will be blamed on you, and you will eventually be replaced sooner or later. In addition, they will bring up the issue of loyalty, and they must have grievances about it, so you have to be on guard. Of course, it also depends on your ability and the company's degree of need. If you are truly outstanding and the company cannot do without you, or if the boss really recognizes you, then have an open and honest communication with the company, explain everything clearly, and enhance consensus, then stay in the company, after all, more money! Result 2: leave! Go to the new company. There are two possibilities. One is that you find the opportunity is good after joining, the company is of high quality, there are no criticisms of a family business, no restrictions, and you can truly achieve results and realize your value. In that case, I think you should just go. The other possibility is that you find no change after joining, you are still a tool, you have no say, you receive even less money than in the previous company, and you may even be more passive in your work. This is difficult to avoid, and it is not a good idea to go back to the previous company, so you must clarify again in the employment contract to reduce unnecessary risks. In summary, there are two outcomes and two choices. I can only help you analyze but not decide. In life, we face multiple choices, and this time, I hope you make the right choice. It is best to listen to your inner self and remember that the future journey is long. Based on comprehensive risk avoidance, you must consider all aspects and make every effort to protect your own maximum interests.",
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          "answer_text": "You can't have your cake and eat it too, the meaning of this phrase is that if we want to get something, we must give up another part of it. So, working in a company will definitely have its good side, such as a high salary, but there will also be aspects that you find unfavorable, like chaotic management or lack of opportunities for personal growth. To be more specific, you can make a list of the advantages and benefits of this company, and then compare it with the reasons for wanting to quit. Write down each point and see which one has more benefits for you or which one you don't want to leave. Next, analyze your own reasons, is it because of management issues that you're unable to develop at work? Or what efforts can you make personally to change the work environment for the better? There's a saying that \"people strive for higher goals, while water flows to lower ground,\" but there's also another saying that \"when one mountain looks at another, it always appears higher.\" When we don't know much about a place, we tend to have more idealized fantasies about it. However, when we are actually in that place, we are more likely to be bothered by its shortcomings and dissatisfaction. So, you can try to see if there really isn't anything worth staying in your current situation? If that's really the case, then it might be time to make up your mind and leave. Talking about the company, proper management indeed requires scientific management methods. However, previous research has shown that scientific management, especially in small and medium-sized enterprises in China, accounts for a very small proportion, as little as 20%. So, on the one hand, we can search for companies that have scientific management to work for, or we can use the knowledge and experience we have gained to provide feedback and implement more scientific and optimized management, guiding the company onto a more correct path. You can suggest communication and urge the managers to consider whether outdated management methods can be changed to improve the scientific nature of management. When we enter society, we will face choices, and how to choose becomes a subject that we need to learn. Can we make choices? Do we have methods to choose, or do we have reasons we can't choose? Is it impossible to refuse? Do we want to change others? Can't we make changes ourselves? If a person has a strong sense of self, they would hope that the environment would cooperate with them more. But with rational thinking, this is not possible. Therefore, while maintaining a certain sense of self, we also have to adapt to the environment and make changes. Each person needs to think, grasp, experience, and decide on this balance. I hope my answer is helpful to you, and know that the world loves you.",
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          "answer_text": "I think the original poster has already made a decision whether to stay or leave. In the early stages, there was already an answer - \"the interview went well, but the salary was lower than the current company, so I politely declined.\" The reason for the internal conflict now may be more because \"the current company knows about my interview with another company.\" Perhaps you are afraid that if you stay, you will occasionally think about your past \"betrayal\" and feel ashamed and guilty. Perhaps you are afraid that if you stay, the current company might \"play tricks\" on you due to your past \"betrayal,\" and ultimately things might end badly or harm your reputation. Similarly, I feel that if you go to the new company, you will also face these two concerns. You should know that these two companies are in the same city, and the leaders of both companies know each other, so it seems that their relationship should be good. Otherwise, the leader of the new company wouldn't just call and ask the leader of the previous company. Such situations are not uncommon in reality. You haven't done anything outrageous, so whether you stay or leave, please follow your heart. As long as you do things sincerely and with a clear conscience, that's enough.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Let's first talk about your previous company. From your disclosure, it seems that you were involved in management work. It's hard for me to imagine that a company with military-style management like this would have problems with chaos and mistrust in management. It seems that this militarized management is only superficial and hasn't truly integrated military principles into it. I'm not sure what position you held in this company, but based on the management chaos and mistrust you mentioned, if you weren't in the top management level, no matter how capable you are, it would be difficult to change this situation. I can imagine the resistance you would face is unimaginable. Personally, I think if you were to play such a role in this company (without core control and the power to revise systems), in the end, you would only tire yourself out without achieving any results, which is what they call \"working hard but with no gain\". Even if you are relatively satisfied with the salary, internally, it would still feel very oppressive. Speaking from the perspective of job choices, I think for you personally, where you choose to work is your right. Because we have the power to choose, there is no reason to say which companies are good or bad. Making the final choice is only based on our own work demands. As for who knows whom, it's not really relevant to us, and you don't need to worry too much about it. Whether leaving this current company means someone will speak ill of you or hold a grudge against you, a capable person never fears these things, and potential companies won't care about them either. They only care about one thing: who can bring the company maximum profits. Talking about anything else is just nonsense. I hope my shallow insights can be of some help to you, and I wish you to find a suitable company as soon as possible, to do the work you love and achieve the value of life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It seems that you are more concerned about the compatibility between the corporate culture and your own. A company that has come this far must have developed its own unique style and inertia. It is indeed difficult to completely change it in a short period of time. If there is a significant difference between a company's culture and your values, it may be difficult for you to identify and continue to survive. The intention of the company's efforts to keep you may depend on whether you can reach a consensus through sincere communication. If your work can benefit the company and help you find your own value, that would be great.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9849
       },
       {
        "question": "Do you constantly reflect on every sentence and belittle yourself?",
        "description": "I need to reflect on myself after every sentence I say, and I feel really awful about myself.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality improvement, self-growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hug. I don't know how long this kind of self-evaluation \"feeling bad about yourself\" has been around. Every time you say something, you have to reflect on yourself. It's so tiring and unrewarding, constantly lingering in your ears. I imagine you must be very upset. -------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ In your impression, do you remember the first time you evaluated yourself like this, when and what happened? Who were the people around you at the time? How did you feel when you evaluated yourself? What did you do? What did you say? What kind of expression was on your face? Now, looking back, if the current you stood in front of the past you, what would you like to say or do to the past you? If it were me, I would definitely hug the sad me and say, \"You've been working hard. I know you've done well!\" -------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud proposed the structural theory of the id, ego, and superego. The id (completely unconscious) represents desire, suppressed by consciousness. The ego (mostly conscious) is responsible for dealing with the real world. The superego (partially conscious) is the conscience or internal moral judgment. The superego is the regulator in the personality structure, governed by the principle of perfection, monitoring the ego and internalizing the symbols of the father figure and cultural norms. In other words, the formation of the superego is mainly related to important caregivers in childhood, judging whether a person is \"good\" or \"bad\" and what one \"should\" or \"should not\" do. From this perspective, \"feeling bad about yourself\" may be the definition of yourself given by important others in your childhood, which gradually transforms into the judgment of your superego towards yourself. So, who is this important other person? In your memory, do you remember any occasions when something like this happened? What was his facial expression when he said \"you're bad\"? What did he do? How did you feel? I imagine that, like now, you were very sad and upset at that time. However, it is not your fault. In childhood, in order to survive and grow up, we had to rely on others and let them evaluate us indiscriminately. In fact, you are very brave. In such a sad situation, you have overcome it time after time. Now, you have grown up and can take responsibility for yourself and cheer yourself on. -------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ Now, please ask yourself the following four questions. Is it true that you feel bad about yourself? Can you be sure it is true? How do you react when you hold this idea? Can you find a reason to let go of that idea? Can you find a reason to hold that idea without any anxiety? What kind of person are you when you don't have that idea? These are four sentences from the book \"A Turn of Mind,\" which has helped many people. I wonder what answers or different experiences you will get after asking yourself. -------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ In addition, you can ask yourself, you said every time you say something, you reflect on yourself and feel bad about yourself. So, are there any exceptions? Have you ever said something and felt that you are not so bad? When was that? What happened? When you say you feel bad about yourself, if you give a score of 0-10 to bad, with 0 indicating good and 10 indicating very bad, can you define a score for each thing or each sentence? Observe how you act when it's a 0 or 1. Perhaps this can be your direction for improvement next time. -------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ I hope my answer can give you some references and thoughts. The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I want to give you a hug and sympathize with you. Constantly belittling yourself and feeling inadequate indicates that you are a person who is more sensitive and lacks confidence. This may be related to your past experiences. During your growth process, your parents may not have given you positive responses and feedback. They may have often criticized or belittled you, lacking praise and encouragement. Over time, you will start to feel inferior. The family environment has a great influence on a person. Different treatments can lead to different personalities and self-evaluations. Over time, you will often put yourself down, fearing making mistakes, and speaking cautiously. You can improve the habit of self-degradation through conscious correction. First, you should try to learn to accept yourself. Accept your current state, allow yourself to make mistakes, and don't be too strict with yourself. Secondly, you need to find the true reasons for your self-deprecation. Explore the specific reasons that lead you to always doubt yourself, and then take corresponding actions to stop when you start belittling yourself. Finally, find a hobby or interest that you enjoy. Start with something you are good at, and over time, you will improve and gain a sense of accomplishment, thereby enhancing your self-confidence. I hope these suggestions can help you. Keep going! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 10505
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I feel very inferior and think that I am useless, and I don't know how to make efforts?",
        "description": "I used to suffer from depression, but I got better under the doctor's treatment. I have already stopped taking medication. However, for the past month, I can't sleep at night and have trouble getting up during the day. I feel like I'm a worthless person and can't accomplish anything. I have a lot of self-doubt. Even if I start studying, I still feel like I am useless.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, guilt and shame, fear and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Do you think there is a connection between feelings of inferiority and depression? Is it possible to have feelings of inferiority during a depressive episode and then feel much better after the depression improves? You mentioned that you stopped taking medication after your depression improved, but recently you've been experiencing poor sleep and low mood. Could it be that your depression is recurring? It is important to keep up with regular check-ups while treating depression. I suggest you go to the hospital for a check-up in a timely manner. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and you are no exception. If it's difficult to think of your strengths for now, it's okay. That's because your mood is currently low, and you are focusing too much on negative things while neglecting your own shining points. You can try thinking about the good things you did or the progress you made each day before going to bed. It can be anything, even small things like going to bed five minutes earlier today. Don't underestimate those five minutes. Many small steps add up to significant progress. Don't rush, take it slow. Keep going! These are just some suggestions that I hope can help you. Take care!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 16869
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I have a habit of hiding myself and want to change?",
        "description": "I feel very uncomfortable when people notice what I am doing during social interactions, such as what music I am listening to or what book I am reading. If someone notices, I feel embarrassed and believe that others will definitely make fun of me. In reality, I understand that others are not really concerned about these things and they might even have similar interests. However, deep down, I still try to hide my actions. Do you have any suggestions on how to change this?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ It might be a manifestation of our lack of security in the environment when we hide our behavior. The surrounding environment includes people or the interpersonal atmosphere. What causes us to lack a sense of security? The OP needs to further observe themselves and can do so by looking back on past experiences. Have there been experiences of being laughed at by others in the past? I think we can change ourselves from these aspects: building self-confidence. To make friends, it is necessary to expose ourselves to some extent. This exposure means letting others know what we are interested in, such as books or favorite songs, which will help others understand us to a certain extent. We should realize that there is nothing embarrassing about letting others know us appropriately. Everyone is the same, not perfect, and is growing slowly. Try to communicate with others with an open mindset. Try to be a little more courageous and proactive, and maybe you will make friends. Don't be afraid; everyone has the same mindset when they are not familiar with each other at the beginning.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your description, I feel like I see myself! I used to be the same way. When I was in school, I always preferred to sit in the concealed corner next to the wall, rather than in the middle of the classroom where I would stand out. During meetings, I would instinctively choose a seat in the back row and avoid sitting in the front row where I would be noticed. I didn't want others to see me! Fortunately, like you, I have become aware of this habit. Through continuous self-reflection and understanding, I realized that it might be because of fear! Fear of being laughed at, fear of being rejected, fear of being criticized, fear... To avoid all of this, I would hide myself, in order to safely evade what I was afraid of! If we want to change this habit of hiding ourselves, we need to have the courage to face our fears! So what if someone mocks us? So what if someone rejects us? So what if someone criticizes us? What do these things mean? They mean: I am not good enough. We are afraid of others saying that we are not good enough! Why are we so afraid of others saying that we are not good enough? It is because deep down inside us, there is a belief: I am not good enough! When we can fully accept ourselves, both the good and the not-so-good, it is all part of who we are, the real us. We are not afraid of being judged by others because we know ourselves. It's like if I'm bald, and you call me bald, I won't be angry because I know myself and I accept my baldness! So, the fundamental solution is to understand ourselves, accept ourselves, both the good and the not-so-good, because all of it is who I am, the unique and different me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings very well. I've experienced being hesitant to let others see what I was doing before, probably due to low self-esteem or shyness. However, later on, I gradually became willing to let others see what I was doing. On one hand, it was because I became more confident, and on the other hand, I realized that everyone does similar things and what you do is something others have also done. So, they won't make fun of you or be surprised. And even if it's something different, everyone has different preferences, and it can still be accepted by others because they are very accepting. When interacting with others, we should have the courage to show our true selves. The next time someone looks at you, you can try to confidently and openly show what you're doing. You will find that there's nothing significant about showing the real you. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: Actually, your thoughts are normal. You are afraid that the things you like are different from others. You worry that in the eyes of others, you are an outcast. You are worried that your lifestyle may make you unable to fit in and be accepted by others. You are not like others who are outgoing and prefer to be quiet and read a book by yourself. You belong to the introverted and artistic type. But in fact, everyone's personality is different, and being introverted also has its advantages. You can join a book club and share the books you like. Every book has its specific readership, and even niche songs have their own uniqueness. Pursue the life you want in a way you like. Be brave. Those friends who share the same aspirations with you will not dislike you because of your differences. On the contrary, they will see it as your characteristic, your most adorable trait. Don't shut yourself inside an ivory tower. Open a window, leave a door. Take the initiative to participate in various activities. You are not an isolated island. You have a special connection with the friends around you. It just requires you to be more proactive and enthusiastic, and have a defensive mentality towards the things around you. It is not wrong. The key is how to control it to the extent that others will not see you as a cold-hearted person.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 6170
       },
       {
        "question": "I know that studying is important, but I can't concentrate on it. Life feels exhausting, and I feel desperate and want to die.",
        "description": "I know that studying is important, but I just can't absorb the material. I feel a lot of pressure, and my family members are ill. I'm not mentally well every day. I really don't want to live anymore.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, mental crisis, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear. I understand that you know how important studying is but sometimes it's hard to concentrate. Don't blame yourself for it. We all have moments when we know what we should do but can't seem to do it. It's okay. We all have a rational side and an emotional side. The rational side is often easier because we know many things and understand what we should and shouldn't do. However, the emotional side can be influenced by our moods and feelings, and we can't always stay rational and do what we should do. Right now, you know on a rational level that studying is important and you want to do well, but you feel overwhelmed and just want to escape. I think what you need to do right now is not constantly remind yourself how important studying is, but find ways to relieve your stress. It's important to work hard, but when you feel tired, it's also important to allow yourself to take a break. It's okay; life is not a race, and you don't need to constantly push forward without stopping. So, when you feel tired, adjust your mood, give yourself some time, and relax. In this period of time, you can allow yourself to not think about anything, not even studying or your sick family member, just completely relax. There are some relaxing meditation exercises you can follow with guided instructions. Give yourself a little time every day, even if it's short, to relax, and it can effectively relieve your stress. It's understandable that you feel stressed and tired because your family member is sick, but remember that there are three things in the world: God's will, other people's matters, and your own matters. Your family member's illness is God's will. Do your best, follow the circumstances, and take care of them as much as possible. Don't worry too much, and no matter what the ultimate result is, don't blame yourself. Sending you a hug. The world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate, reading your words, I feel sorry and think you're still too young. If you think you study hard but your grades are not ideal, at least you are responsible for yourself. In the future, you will feel that you have tried your best: others may not understand you, but you understand yourself. You don't need to live according to others' expectations, but instead choose to live the way you want to be. Also, if you feel that you don't want to live anymore, I feel that you still have hope for life. Otherwise, you wouldn't express your inner thoughts. I can't feel exactly what you're going through, but I sincerely hope that you can embrace this world again. When you feel tired, just get a good sleep and don't think about anything. When you wake up, everything can be solved. Treat yourself to the things you like to eat. You will feel that there are beautiful things in this world that make you want to strive for them. When you feel that you can't stay in your current environment anymore, take a two-dollar bus ride and empty your mind. Through the window, you will find yourself on the road. The feeling of drifting will make you feel that there is still a place called home. Actually, all the difficulties you are facing right now are only temporary. They are not your future.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 20557
       },
       {
        "question": "I am already forty and I still have three questions in doubt.",
        "description": "I'm already forty and still confused about three questions that have been bothering me: Who am I exactly? Where do I come from? What am I here for in this world? Haha, maybe it sounds like a joke, but that's just how I am. Can anyone help me solve this world puzzle?",
        "keywords": "Growth, development patterns, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I sense your confusion about yourself, where do I come from? Where am I going? These are the three most basic philosophical questions. These three philosophical questions are mainly for us to explore ourselves and to understand ourselves. Exploring and understanding ourselves is a sign of growth for each of us. Adolescents, for example, go through rebellion and various experiments to explore and understand themselves and to grow. This is an important stage of growth. After going through adolescence, a child's personality tends to become more perfect. So, the questions you have now are actually about exploring yourself and wanting to grow. This growth is an inner growth. It is never too late to grow at any time, so it is normal for you to have these doubts at the age of 40. It is commendable that you want to grow. In my opinion, you are not getting more confused as you live on, but rather becoming clearer. Actually, these three questions are about understanding our past, knowing our future, and finding our value and meaning in society. Maybe after you answer these three questions, your life will open up a new chapter. To answer these three questions, you need to first understand your past and your roots. The past is easy, you can recall your past experiences. Understanding your roots may require you to ask your parents or elders. To find your future and value, you may need to try more and read more books. Perhaps you can find the answers from books. Well, that's all for my answer. I hope you can find yourself, find your value and meaning, and find happiness and joy. Best wishes to you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Confucius said, \"At fifteen, I set my mind on learning. At thirty, I was established. At forty, I had no more doubts. At fifty, I understood the will of heaven. At sixty, my ear was obedient. At seventy, I followed my heart's desires without overstepping the boundaries.\" This is Confucius' progression, which ordinary people cannot achieve, so it is normal to still have doubts at forty. Regarding the question, \"Who am I? Where do I come from? What am I here for in this world?\" You can imagine yourself as a student who took a math test and only scored 58 points yesterday. You reflected on the reasons for getting this score and identified areas where you were lacking. You plan to do five targeted exercises tomorrow to make up for those deficiencies. As the night fell yesterday, you went to sleep, and this morning, you woke up. Who woke up? It's a person defined by all the past moments before awakening. Where did you come from? From the past. What are you going to do today? Accomplish the plan and fill in the gaps. The intention of why you came into this world is similar, aiming for evolution/improvement, both for individuals, the Earth, and the universe.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 263
       },
       {
        "question": "The child graduated and joined a company, wanting to work and do things, but colleagues everywhere are making things difficult and bullying.",
        "description": "After graduating and entering the workplace, my child wants to work and do things, but colleagues constantly give them a hard time. They don't assign any tasks, refuse to teach, and they can't learn from reading books. Every time, they are belittled and their speech is suppressed. They feel anxious and depressed, as if they are being stepped on. They just want to work properly. They reported the situation to the leader, but got ostracized. As a parent, I'm very anxious. I initially thought that as an adult, my child shouldn't get involved in this, but in this kind of environment, my child cries every day. Should I communicate with the leader as a parent, or will it be detrimental to my child? This situation is unbearable for everyone involved.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, colleagues, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I hope my humble efforts can help you. Question: Your child is being excluded at work, without anyone teaching them, and being belittled, leading to anxiety and depression. Analysis: Based on your question, it seems that your child is currently living at home and just started working, and probably hasn't made many new friends due to the pressure. As parents, if you know about your child's troubles, you can guide them in communication and encourage them to speak more while you listen. Let them vent their negative emotions. However, you should not take too much control and dominate the situation, as it is not conducive to their growth. Actually, this is a common problem for newcomers in the workplace. If they haven't encountered a good leader and a harmonious working environment, they are often disliked and looked down upon. Newcomers have areas where they fall short, and some people intentionally make things difficult. If they really don't have tasks to do, they can find things to occupy themselves, such as reading and learning. Developing a growth mindset is essential for entering the workforce, and reading is an important stage for cultivating this mindset. Nowadays, besides reading, there are also many free or paid online courses available, where one can pay to learn from relevant teachers. Learning both workplace skills and mindset should never stop. As parents, other than listening, you can accompany your child and relax with them during leisure time, have a chat, and guide them to make more friends outside. It is not good to suppress all emotions and let the frustrations accumulated in the workplace stay inside, as it will pose significant harm to their physical and mental health in the long run. Personal growth in the workplace is similar to the iceberg theory, and we often overlook what is beneath the surface of the iceberg. The surface represents the skills relevant to the position, while what lies beneath represents character, ability, and mindset. Hard skills can be learned by anyone who is willing, but what truly determines a person's work capability are the elements beneath the surface. If your child has been in this environment for a long time without any changes, and if their efforts cannot change others, they can exercise their own abilities and be ready to leave at any time. As someone who has been in the workplace for a few years, I can say that the environment and leadership are indeed important. If you can't fit in here, then find another environment. As long as you have the necessary skills, you will be needed anywhere. I recommend your child to watch the Korean drama \"Misaeng,\" as it may provide some answers.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the situation can be seen from both sides. From an individual perspective, the essence of entering society is to integrate into a group and adapt to the environment. Regardless of whether the leadership values you or if you face difficulties, it is important to start with self-improvement. Since you have just entered the workplace, many rules are still being established, and you need to change yourself for the objective environment. This includes your mindset, emotions, and interpersonal skills. It is not important if others look down on you, what matters is that you have self-respect. Being too concerned about others' opinions will only confuse yourself. It is necessary to evaluate yourself objectively, learn from experienced colleagues, and gain recognition from your leaders through continuous efforts. This is the issue we need to pay attention to in the company. From an organizational perspective, every individual who enters the company is working together to achieve the organization's goals. In reality, rules are not changed because of certain individuals. Only by adapting can one become familiar with the rules of the \"jungle\". Both leaders and the company hope that individuals can become valuable contributors in the organization. Here are some suggestions: 1. To gain recognition from the company and leadership, the best way is to learn and practice. Not all colleagues will become your friends. Remember that you are here to work, not make friends. Strive for a balance between input and output. 2. Being able to talk does not mean being able to communicate effectively. Check if there are any problems with communication and focus on learning how to build relationships, especially in a professional and social setting. 3. Build confidence by achieving small goals. It is important to plan, supervise, and control tasks, and to reflect on them afterwards. This will lead to unexpected results. 4. Understand the importance of time management and learn to complete designated tasks and goals within a specific timeframe, and persevere. 5. Intelligence is a minimum requirement, emotional intelligence is the upper limit. Treat everyone sincerely and become a person of value to others. Surround yourself with positive energy and negative people and things will stay away from you. 6. The world is vast, and there are all kinds of people. If you become a confident person, you won't be afraid in any situation. Focus on your current strengths and improve them, such as learning professional skills and communication techniques, and find like-minded friends to exchange ideas with. Ultimately, the only one who can help you is yourself, not your family. It's like when two kids fight and it turns into a conflict between their parents, it becomes a lose-lose situation. Similarly, if you rely on family to handle your work problems, in the future, when it comes to relationships, which are even more complex, can your family handle everything? Obviously, it's not realistic. Providing guidance is not as effective as teaching someone to fish. Children need to face and handle things on their own, as it is the foundation for their growth, maturity, and improvement. This is only for reference. I wish you all the best.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing children enter the workplace and facing various realistic problems, it is understandable for parents to feel anxious. But if we talk about how to solve this situation, in my personal opinion, it is best to let them integrate into the workplace and gradually adapt on their own, because there is no quick and effective method that can surpass practical workplace experience. If you feel sorry for your child and provide them with help through your connections, it will weaken their real experience in the workplace. The workplace itself is brutal, just like the law of the jungle in nature. To survive in the natural world, one should learn to run, learn hunting skills, and instinctively avoid danger. All of this cannot be given by others, because they need you to truly experience it before they will gradually understand the essence of the workplace. What you give them may be better than their current situation, but at the same time, you cruelly stifle their ability to survive independently in the future. It is better for your child to shed tears now than to have difficulties adapting to the workplace and being ruthlessly eliminated in the future. When children first enter the workplace, they may experience something different from what they imagined, and when they encounter difficulties and setbacks, they may feel helpless. As parents, what we should provide them with is more encouragement and guidance, rather than indirect shortcuts. Remember to talk to them every day, share your own work experiences, and help them gain a clearer understanding of the workplace. When children grow up, just like little birds leaving the nest, it is inevitable that they have to return to nature. In the process of returning to nature, they will encounter storms, thunder and other harsh weather conditions. But you have to tell them that the birds flying in the sky are just like them, learning to spread their wings and fly to the blue sky. Whether they fly high or low, Mom and Dad are always watching and cheering for them. We can no longer help them fly just because they have suffered a little injury, because then they may never be able to fly to the blue sky on their own again!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. Your child just graduated and entered the workplace, but they are being marginalized and suppressed at work, which is affecting their emotions and causing them to become anxious and cry every day. From your question, it can be seen that your child is probably more introverted in personality and has not experienced too much in life. They may also be having some difficulties adjusting to the workplace. Parents should not interfere too much in their child's work life. I personally believe that it is absolutely not acceptable for parents to communicate this issue with the leaders. Although in the eyes of parents, their child is still just a child, but they are already an adult, they have already passed the age of reporting to the teacher when being bullied. If parents communicate with the leaders, it will not be good for the child, and the leader may think that they are already an adult and don't need their parents to communicate for them. So parents should not interfere too much in their child's work, even if they are being treated unfairly. When children enter society, they also need to grow, and this is a part of their growth experience. Can you help them once, and then help them communicate with the leaders a second time? Moreover, if it spreads to colleagues, your child may still be talked about by colleagues. It is common for newbies in the workplace to be suppressed when they start their internships. Because everyone is usually busy and there is no time to teach a new person, it is important to explore on one's own. In the work, it is rare to encounter a good boss and company, most of the time, you have to rely on yourself. In the work, no one assigns work to them, and no one teaches them how to work. It is advised that they can observe how their colleagues work in their usual time and learn from them. For more professional knowledge, they still need to study and understand it themselves. If they can't understand it through reading, they can search for explanatory videos to help them understand. In their free time, they can find things to do themselves, such as helping colleagues make copies of documents or assisting with other tasks to promote good relationships with colleagues. They can also use this time to learn about things related to work. By learning, even if they are assigned tasks later on, they can accept them well. Parents should provide more emotional support to their child. It is good that your child will share the grievances they have experienced with you, instead of keeping it all inside and consuming themselves. You can offer guidance and comparison from your own experiences and provide comfort to their inner world. If possible, let them take a break, go out for a breath of fresh air, and have some fun to relieve their mood. You can also teach them some interpersonal skills to get along with colleagues and facilitate future work. As you mentioned, your family will always be their backing. If they are truly unhappy, then they can consider resigning and finding a better job. While they are young, they should try and experience more. These are my suggestions, I hope they can help you. Wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12634
       },
       {
        "question": "Should you tell both sets of parents that your husband spends a lot of money buying gifts for female live streamers on Douyin?",
        "description": "My husband has been playing Douyin and sending gifts to female live streamers for the past two months, totaling over a hundred thousand yuan. He even added them as friends on WeChat. At first, I didn't say anything when I noticed he was chatting with people, as there was nothing inappropriate. But then I checked Alipay and couldn't believe he spent over a hundred thousand yuan. This money was hard-earned, and he also has several tens of thousands of yuan in debt, which I discovered. Otherwise, he wouldn't have told me. He regrets it now and says he couldn't control himself. I don't know if I should tell both sets of parents. They are all frugal and would go insane hearing this. I don't know if I should forgive him either, but I don't want to get a divorce because we have children.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, and management of marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You discovered that your husband is giving money to other women on TikTok, and the amount is not small. As a woman, seeing such behavior really makes you angry and frustrated, hating that he's not being responsible. But at the same time, you feel powerless. The teacher understands your feelings. You don't know whether you should tell his parents about this issue, especially since you know they are frugal and may not be able to handle the financial burden. It's clear that you are a kind person who knows how to take care of others and consider their feelings. Your husband is already an adult, an independent individual who is responsible for his own actions, and this is a matter that both of you as a couple need to deal with. Telling his parents will only make things more chaotic, and if something unexpected happens to his parents, it will bring you even more pressure and pain. The teacher suggests that you handle this yourselves, carefully help your husband understand the reasons behind his obsession with TikTok, and negotiate a solution together. To a large extent, problems like this arise when one lacks ambition, goals, and ideals in life, feeling bored and seeking happiness through TikTok, seeking validation through likes and rewards. Help your husband plan his career, keep him busy, so that he can find a sense of presence through his busyness, experience the joy of accomplishing results, and make his life goals clear and direction clear, so that naturally, his attention and energy will be focused on his career and maintaining your marriage.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4308
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the experience of staying up late at night and studying?",
        "description": "What experience is it to stay up all night and study instead of sleeping?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It's something that happens frequently. I almost study psychology, answer questions, and write stories every night. I do this continuously every day, except when I'm sick and need to sleep early. Usually, I study until I'm really tired and fall asleep. Sometimes, while answering questions, my brain stops working and I fall asleep. I'm not sure if I completed the answers or not. Sometimes I miss the deadline. Actually, my daily life is very busy. Besides working during the day, I sometimes have to work overtime and do various things at work. When I get home at night, there are many things to do, and I usually finish around eleven or twelve o'clock. So I can only study and check in at this time. Like this September, I just joined a mental health activity, and there are still many things I don't know how to use. This month, because of being sick, I took several days off and had some free time, so that's why I learned more than usual in a few months. During this period, I have been troubled by many things in life, and my mood is bad. I can't sleep alone in the long nights, and it's very painful, extremely painful. Sometimes, when I'm in a bad mood, I come here to read articles, listen to mental health FM, and answer questions, hoping to get some guidance from here. At the same time, I also try to guide others. I think this may make my mental state a little better, or in other words, coming here is a method I hope can help with my insomnia problem and hope it can be beneficial to myself. At the beginning, I don't know how effective it is. If possible, I would still choose to do these things earlier, if conditions allow, so that I won't be bothered by insomnia. Generally, if you have the habit of going to bed and getting up early and have a fast-paced lifestyle, I think it is advisable to study earlier and not stay up too late. This may be relatively better for the body. After all, staying up late at night can harm the liver and spleen, as well as other parts of the body. It's not good for the future and can easily harm the cardiovascular system.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 7,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 7,
            "end": 139,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 139,
            "end": 215,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 215,
            "end": 295,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 295,
            "end": 408,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 408,
            "end": 527,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 527,
            "end": 631,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, giving you a warm hug. (\uff65\u03c9\uff65)\uff89 Although psychology is interesting to learn, don't overdo it~ I hope you can spend your time during the day instead of staying up late at night and exhausting your brain. It will only make you more exhausted the next day. Additionally, I recommend putting this kind of question in the category of story collections, creating a story collection to facilitate better communication among everyone. I hope my answer can help you. (\uff65\u03c9\uff65)\uff89.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8163
       },
       {
        "question": "Want to retaliate against the bourgeoisie? Because it feels so pleasurable.",
        "description": "I want to retaliate against the bourgeoisie, I want to kill all the monopolistic bourgeoisie and monopoly capitalists.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, violence, attack.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand that you want to retaliate against the bourgeoisie because you feel the unfairness of wealth distribution in society, right? However, the current economic situation is not caused by certain individuals, but rather a result of various factors such as social, historical, and policy-related influences. Some people just seize opportunities and temporarily gain more wealth. This lack of fairness has not only been present in modern society, but throughout human development, in slave societies, feudal societies, and more. Those who are at the bottom may never escape the constraints of their social class, no matter how hard they strive. Modern society still has many inequalities, but it is getting better. At least now, as long as we are not lazy, we can support ourselves; as long as we are willing to work hard, there is hope for upward mobility; and as long as we are creative and innovative, we have the potential to accumulate wealth. The monopolies you mentioned are not solely due to personal factors, but also due to policies and individual abilities. It is through grasping difficult-to-obtain technologies and resources that monopolies can be achieved. Therefore, instead of seeking revenge against the bourgeoisie, it's better to strive and work hard, accumulate personal assets, and create value for society. Hugs to you, the world loves you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10950
       },
       {
        "question": "Parents urgently need money, but I can't come up with any, and I feel so helpless...",
        "description": "My parents urgently need money, but I am helpless and cannot provide the money needed. I feel so incapable and my job is also not secure. Sigh...",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Your parents are continuing to support you financially, but you feel incapable of contributing. This makes you feel inadequate and judgmental towards yourself, as well as guilty towards your parents. However, your current situation is not very optimistic, as you are still struggling to secure a job. This outcome may not be what you desire, but you currently cannot think of better alternatives. Your parents will understand you. Blaming and feeling guilty will not solve any problems. What you need now is to focus on yourself and work towards resolving your employment issues as soon as possible. Go out and look for jobs, try to find a suitable one. If you haven't found a job that meets all your expectations yet, you can temporarily settle for something similar as a transitional period. Regardless, as long as you have something to do, you will not feel like you are wasting your time. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2437
       },
       {
        "question": "My girlfriend has some things she only wants to tell the therapist and can't say to me. What should I do?",
        "description": "My girlfriend is feeling anxious and is receiving psychological counseling. There are some things that she only feels comfortable discussing with the counselor in the therapy room and doesn't tell me. However, it's inevitable that everyday conversations may touch on topics that make her anxious. Without proper communication, I can't help her, and both she and I feel distressed. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, security, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, my dear questioner. After reading your description, it's really hard to understand your thoughts. You are very concerned about your girlfriend's mental state and want to help her through your own efforts. According to your description, your girlfriend wants to only share certain things with a therapist and not with you. I can understand your desire to help your girlfriend, but she may feel that it's best to leave it to the professionals, as therapists are recognized by society and perhaps she has had positive experiences with them in the past, which makes her trust their expertise. It may also be that she doesn't want to burden you with her negative emotions. If you don't mind her bad mood, perhaps you can discuss this issue with her and address her concerns. It's also possible that there have been unpleasant discussions when you tried to talk about this topic before, and she wants to avoid arguments and not jeopardize your relationship. However, these are just speculations. I don't know the specific situation, so it's important for you to communicate with her.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2143
       },
       {
        "question": "Those six years of nightmare, I felt like I had tainted the world...",
        "description": "Six years ago, when I was eleven years old, I was deceived by a kind boy I met online. My parents and teachers never taught me about sex education, so I didn't understand or know how to protect myself. I met up with him and many things happened, including forced sexual acts, being coerced into prostitution, self-harm, and suicide attempts. I eventually lost hope in myself and felt dirty, thinking I couldn't be with anyone else and could only be with him. After six years, he no longer wanted me and his mother told me to die. I attempted suicide by drinking poison and was hospitalized. It has been several years now, but I am still afraid and can't forget. I feel so much hatred. I haven't had a good night's sleep in years, especially recently when I've been feeling even more reluctant to sleep. I constantly think about suicide and go to the rooftop. I feel like I have stained the world.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, trauma therapy, behavioral abnormalities.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I feel very sorry for what you have been through. Hugs to you. 1. You are a pure and kind-hearted person. Even though you have been hurt a lot, you would never choose to retaliate or harm others. You feel like you have lost your \"innocence,\" so you have been following him. But, dear girl, by staying with him, you will actually suffer even greater harm. He doesn't want to be with you, and that is actually your liberation, a new beginning in your life. Do you think so? 2. The unfortunate experiences in your childhood were not entirely your fault. Firstly, it was the fault of bad people who hurt you deeply. Secondly, it was also due to the negligence of your parents and teachers. But ultimately, you bore the brunt of the damage. Don't be afraid. No matter what kind of harm you have experienced before, you can still piece together the broken fragments of your heart. In fact, many people's childhoods are not perfect. It is precisely because of these small cracks that we can let the outside world seep in. 3. What you may be afraid of now is that no one will accept you in the future, and you may also feel pain when you think of past hurts... In situations where emotions are extremely difficult to regulate, I suggest that you not only confide in your family but also seek help from a professional psychologist or counselor. I believe you will get better. Wishing you all the best! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It's not that you have dirtied the world. It's that the world has dirtied you. Ask yourself, do you really feel dirty because of those who have dirtied you? Your past experiences cannot be changed, no matter what you do or who you become. So what? Does that mean you're stuck like this, unable to change? Why? Why should you give up on yourself for those people? If there is even a slight desire to not give up, we can find ways to persevere. If you can't love someone, that's okay because life is not meant to be lived for love. There are many happy single people out there, and it's often those who suffer in love. If you don't have any skills, go learn, go search. Don't be picky or afraid. You can choose a safe job and work hard at it. You can avoid dealing with others. If you're not good at one job, then try another that you can excel at. If you want to study, be brave and face it. Study well because school is safer than society. Then try to change your future. You can also learn a trade. There are many industries. Go out on the streets, observe, and start as an apprentice. Learn well, and you can support yourself. - These are my opinions - Now, let me express my concerns. 1. Regularly go for gynecological checkups. Don't be scared or shy. It's a natural matter. Whether you're a minor or an adult woman, you should go for regular checkups. Besides sexual activities, staying up late, getting inflamed, diet, drinking, and smoking can all lead to various degrees of inflammation and symptoms. Regular checkups and proper treatment are the best protection for yourself. 2. When you can't sleep, try not to engage in behaviors that are harmful to your body, such as smoking, drinking, or taking medication. You can continuously read books, watch shows, listen to music, dance, practice calligraphy, draw, or exercise. Choose one activity that tires you out, and then you will fall asleep. 3. You can hate anyone, but don't hate the version of yourself that stepped into darkness. She is innocent, and you can still lead her out. Really. 4. Don't give up on yourself, okay? // You remind me of a plant - the lotus. I don't know if you have ever dug up lotus roots. They are usually grown in ponds filled with mud, which is smelly and slippery. But the lotus flowers that grow from it are clean and pure, and the lotus leaves are not even soaked by water. The lotus roots that grow in the mud are also clean and delicious. Patting your head, I blame God for forgetting to remind you to wear shoes when you came into this world. That's why you accidentally dirtied your feet.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I hope that if there are people who have experienced the same thing as me, they must speak out bravely, tell their parents, tell the people around them, and don't let these people take advantage of the situation. Some boys may manipulate you for their own romantic purposes. Parents say that these are bad people, and maybe some boys really are bad people. You should believe what your parents say!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1877
       },
       {
        "question": "Junior year, the relationships and interpersonal communication with friends are a mess. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am currently a junior. Since I was a child, I have always had good friends at every stage. During primary school, I had a friend whom I felt sincere towards, and they were also good to me. We went to school and played together, feeling like we could talk about anything. However, later on, this friend made new friends and treated them very well, while leaving me behind. This made me feel mentally upset, as if I had lost a friend. I felt that I regarded them as a good friend, but they treated others well while I felt lonely. Suddenly, I felt like my friend didn't see me as a close friend anymore, just a regular friend. This hurt me a lot, and as a result, I became indifferent towards my friends and gradually distanced myself from them. They didn't understand me, and I didn't speak up either. This situation continued through middle school and high school, and eventually, I started avoiding social interactions with friends more and more. It made me feel very upset, giving me headaches. In college, when I see others getting along so well, I always feel a sense of unease, but I still act cold and resistant towards people. It's very painful, and my social interactions are a mess. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your concerns. During elementary school, you had a good friend and got along well. However, as your friend made new friends, you felt uncomfortable and grew apart. This situation continued in middle school and high school. Now, you have become resistant towards people. I want to share with you what I understand and hope it will inspire you. During childhood, friendships can indeed be exclusive. As we grow older, we realize that friendship is more about support and cooperation between friends. Exclusivity makes both us and our friends unhappy. Because of your past experiences, you feel hurt and may still not have recovered. However, now that we have grown up and recognized the problem, change is possible. I guess you understand that appreciating, understanding, accepting, and supporting each other without exclusivity, having a genuine and trusting friendship, is a lifelong treasure that is not easy to come by. I believe friendship can also be learned. Since you were able to make good friends in your childhood, even though there are some difficulties now, it does not prevent us from starting afresh and enjoying the happiness of being with friends. Making friends relies on building relationships. You need to spend time doing things together with friends and having shared experiences. If you find it difficult to make new friends, you can also try reconnecting with old friends who you haven't been in contact with for a long time. The changes in your friends through renewed contact and communication can give you a direct comparison and reference. This is also a rare experience. Friends also need to be more understanding. The past is over, so try to break free from the old patterns of making friends and approach interactions with others from a new perspective. For example, sincerely compliment others, not to please them or manipulate relationships, but to see compliments as an opportunity to bring joy to others. A simple compliment can make someone happy for a whole day. If you have the ability to make others happy because of you, it will be a very fulfilling thing. In interactions, communication difficulties are common. The usual approach is either blaming others for being unreasonable or learning how to communicate better. But what is the fundamental solution? It is actually understanding the other person's personality, compromising appropriately, and sticking to principles. This is the key to maintaining friendships. In the process of interaction between two people, at least one of them must be proactive. Friends are those who spend time with us, making us feel warm and willing to make efforts. We can also be that proactive person at the beginning. Start by trying, but also don't force yourself. Believe that your sincerity and kindness will bring you friends who will nurture and enrich your life. Action is important, take it slowly. As long as we open our hearts appropriately, friends may gradually come closer to us. Finally, I wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Junior year, relationships with friends and interpersonal communication are chaotic, what should I do? Hello, OP. First of all, I understand and sympathize with your situation, and I want to give you a big hug. Feeling the warmth of the world is not just you, many people are like this. In each stage of life, there are different good friends. Most of the time, we get along well with friends in that stage, cherishing the moments together. But when we enter a new stage, we make new friends, and everyone goes through cycles of changing friends. Even good friends have their own good friends, so often we need to think from their perspective instead of feeling lonely and uncomfortable when they have new friends. It's because we also have our own good friends. If we are truly good friends with someone, we should allow them to have their own good friends. Maybe the friend doesn't think of you as just an ordinary friend, but in the current stage, they may be closer to the new friends they just made. The stage you had together may have passed, but I believe your friend still cherishes your friendship. Just because your friend doesn't consider you as a close friend anymore, doesn't mean you need to be cold to them. If you still consider them as a memory of your youth, you might not be so distant to them either. They may not understand your feelings of jealousy when they make new friends, as this is often not easy to notice. So sometimes what you need to do is just communicate your discomfort to your friend. If you don't say anything and keep it to yourself, very few people will truly understand your thoughts, and they may think you're acting strange, asking why everything was fine before, but now you're acting cold. Actually, what you're feeling is very normal. You feel upset because you're not being valued as much when your good friend has new friends. But your pride doesn't allow you to reach out to them. So you become distant, trying to protect yourself from being hurt. But are you really not being hurt anymore? However, your friend may also not understand your behavior and find it strange. Why were you all so close before, but now you're acting cold? Often, as long as you open up and talk to your friend about how you feel, if your friend truly cares about you, they may reassess their previous lack of concern and value you more. Then your friendship will reconnect instead of creating a distance. So, OP, why not be brave and express your feelings to your friend? Good luck! (\u0e07\u2022\u0300_\u2022\u0301)\u0e07",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u25cf A one-on-one relationship does not belong to the category of friendship, as it is only the modern institution of marriage that stipulates monogamy. \u25cf Can you guarantee that you will only have one friend for your entire life? If you cannot, why would you demand that from others? \u25cf If you want someone to view you as unique, then enter into a romantic relationship. Romantic relationships have legitimate reasons to reject third parties.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, whether it's in dating or any other aspect of life, if you approach it with a mindset of fairness, it will require extra effort. It's all subjective and it's easy for situations to arise where you consider something as important while the other person may not. It's great if the other person pursues you instead, as you won't lose out either way. But if it's the other way around, it can feel like a deficit every month, and it's hard to maintain a positive mood in that situation. The key to a good relationship is whether you can do things together, eat together, have conversations, joke around, play games, etc. If you can do these things like normal friends, face challenges and difficulties together, then you're true friends. If you can learn together, support each other, share life experiences, and grow together, then you're best friends. As long as you can do things with others, you will always be able to find friends.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2230
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I always envy other people's lives, even though I am young?",
        "description": "A 20-year-old boy feels like everyone has their own goals, knowing what they should do and which path to take, while he feels like a \"blind person\" who can't see anything clearly and doesn't know the direction. Is it normal to envy other people's lives?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, at the age of 20, you have just entered a stage where you are growing up but still inexperienced. It can be considered officially adulthood. I would like to share my perspective. My sister's daughter loves to read picture books because she doesn't know how to read yet but enjoys watching animations, pictures, and picture books. She is curious and imaginative about the outside world. And why do we enjoy watching movies? It's because we can quickly see someone's whole life and set an example for ourselves to strive and work hard for. It's about wanting to have a beautiful life and become that kind of person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20296
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old male, from the end of the college entrance examination until now, what problems are there in the relationship between lovers?",
        "description": "I met her in the last semester of high school when we transferred classes. Our relationship has always been good. We used to eat together every day at school, but occasionally we would have some small conflicts. I am a sensitive person with a fragile personality. When we were together, she was very kind and considerate. After the college entrance examination, I went to her city to visit her. We held hands, ate and played together. We also took many precious photos together. However, sometimes when I wanted her to post some photos or group shots of us on social media, she always refused, saying she was shy. In fact, I'm used to seeing the sweetness between other couples, and I really want to show our relationship in front of friends and receive their blessings. So I have been encouraging her and even begged her for many days, but she always remained indifferent. Later, due to my disappointing college entrance exam results and some trivial family matters, we started arguing. It even escalated into intense fights, and I don't even know what I have become. It's like I can't untie this knot if I can't satisfy this vanity. Later, I became suspicious and thought she had someone else in her heart. I really want to go back to the way we were before, being that sweet couple again, but I just can't untie this knot...",
        "keywords": "Love, security, arguments, affection",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, ###, give each other more time and try to understand your girlfriend. You and your girlfriend met in the last semester of high school, so your time together isn't particularly long. I suggest being patient, caring, and providing a sense of security to your girlfriend. Her reluctance to post photos together may not just be due to being introverted or shy, but there may be various other reasons. \u2460 She may not want to publicly announce your relationship, fearing pressure from parents, classmates, teachers, and others who know her. She just wants to have a good relationship and enjoy the sweetness it brings. \u2461 If the issue of not posting photos escalates to intense arguments, as you mentioned, along with disappointing college admission results and other family issues, it's important to stabilize your emotions. Your sensitivity and the desire to prove your girlfriend's love for you through photos may make her feel pressured and uncomfortable, which is not conducive to the development of your relationship. ****** How can you resolve this? As you mentioned, you are sensitive and have a fragile heart. If you cannot satisfy this vanity, you will not be able to resolve this emotional conflict. You become suspicious, thinking that she hasn't fully committed to you. \u2460 Respect your girlfriend's wishes. You lack a sense of security and like to affirm your girlfriend's love for you through official announcements and photos. It's important to carefully consider your wording and avoid being too forceful or intense when expressing your needs. When your expectations and needs are not met, your attitude should be balanced. Engaging in arguments or giving her the silent treatment will only make your girlfriend feel more insecure. \u2461 Seek common ground while respecting differences. Understand and respect your girlfriend's reluctance to take photos. Sincerely express your own emotional state of sensitivity and insecurity. Can you find more indirect ways, such as using social media to express your love through a special nickname or sharing love letters, to communicate your affection for each other? \u2462 Adjust your internal state. You described yourself as sensitive, having a fragile heart, and seeking validation. Learn about emotional management through books, articles, and audio materials to stabilize your emotions and build self-confidence. Believe that you are worthy of love. Good luck, and the world loves you.",
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           {
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           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 599,
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           },
           {
            "start": 665,
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            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the topic you mentioned is both simple and complex. You actually have some self-awareness, such as being sensitive, having vanity, and having emotional issues. It seems like you understand that \"Oh, this is my vanity at work, but I just want to take photos and show off my relationship in front of others.\" Your rationality tells you that this is not good, it is a manifestation of vanity, but your emotions tell you otherwise, saying \"No, I used to envy others showing off their relationships, now I want to do the same.\" So your rationality and emotions are in conflict, neither can convince the other, and the result is that both you and your girlfriend are suffering. Don't try to change your girlfriend. From a rational perspective, changing a person is difficult, and from an emotional perspective, I believe you don't want to make your girlfriend go through pain and distress by forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do. What you need to do, in my opinion, is to deepen your self-awareness. Why is it so important for you to show off a photo? What is its deeper meaning to you? I believe it's not as simple as \"seeing others doing it, so I want to do it too.\" If your girlfriend keeps refusing you, what is your innermost thinking, your concerns, your associations? When you view this matter from different perspectives, you will find the direction in your heart.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ It is normal for conflicts and arguments to occur in relationships, but quarreling does indeed affect the relationship between two people. You really hope that the other person can post your photos on social media, and you really want the relationship to be exposed. Maybe in your mind, doing these things is possessive. How does it make you feel when it is not exposed? Obviously, the other person is not planning to publicize it temporarily. I think it is necessary to respect the other person's wishes. Young relationships may have immaturity, but love is mutual, and respecting and understanding each other is important. And in relationships, it's not just about sweetness, but also friction and arguments. Try to communicate with the other person calmly. Your insecurity and sensitivity will make you value this relationship and hope to maintain its existence through external forces, such as exposure on social platforms or meeting friends. This is a bit of a confusion of priorities. Sustaining a relationship requires the effort of both people, and it is about respecting and understanding your partner. What you want to do is more to satisfy yourself, and it is easy to overlook the other person's feelings and hurt her. It is recommended that you communicate well. You can express your own needs, but whether the other person is willing is her right. Try to lower your expectations appropriately, while also affirming yourself. You are worthy of love. Since the second half of your senior year, your relationship is still not stable enough, and it needs more time and interaction. Young relationships are easy to hurt each other, like a hedgehog with thorns using its thorns to protect itself, but it didn't expect to be more hurt. Take it slow, communicate well, find the real cause of the argument, and find ways to face it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10327
       },
       {
        "question": "Recent graduates, lately experiencing frequent breakdowns, often burst into tears, become enraged, and even resort to self-harm by hitting and pinching themselves.",
        "description": "I've been experiencing insomnia on and off for several years. Every year, there would be a period of time when I have trouble sleeping. I have tried going to the hospital for treatment and taking Chinese herbal medicine, but even when I manage to fall asleep, I would wake up multiple times during the night. Sometimes, I would suddenly sit up in bed while sleeping. This is my sleep problem. Since about two years ago, I have been easily overwhelmed and would burst into tears or have tantrums over trivial matters. I can only resort to pinching myself to calm down. I often feel anxious and worried about my relationship with my boyfriend... I always feel like I'm sick, and sometimes I would suddenly have an indescribable feeling in my heart, feeling suffocated and unable to breathe. I want to understand what is really going on with myself. I feel extremely suppressed and on the verge of collapse.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed emotions, healing methods, anxious emotions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the possibility of your insomnia could be due to psychological factors or a physical problem. It is recommended that you continue to see a doctor as this symptom may have a complex cause and may not be resolved immediately by one hospital or doctor. If you feel that drinking Chinese medicine has some effect, you can continue with the treatment. If you feel it is ineffective, you can try another hospital. From your description, it seems that you are in a very suppressed and anxious state, possibly because some past emotions have not been dealt with in a timely manner and have been suppressed deep inside. However, they have not disappeared. To give an analogy, it's like a trash can that keeps filling up with garbage but never gets emptied. Over time, this garbage may ferment and become foul. Our emotions are similar. Emotions that have not been dealt with in the past, when suppressed, do not disappear, they just manifest in other forms such as anxiety, tension, or insomnia. These emotions can also be triggered by small things, leading to outbursts or breakdowns. Therefore, if possible, it is recommended to see a psychologist or counselor. With their support, you can explore your inner self, find the emotional garbage remaining in your heart, clear it out, and release it. You will feel much lighter. You can also try exploring your inner self and find out what things are affecting your mood. If it's something from the past, try to let it go. If it's something in the present, try to find ways to solve it. If it's something in the future, focus on the present. As a recent graduate, what are your plans? Are you planning to continue studying or start working? This year's situation is special, so don't rush. Take it slowly and try things out gradually. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Go seek professional psychological therapy. You haven't mentioned the reasons, but it's clear that you are feeling a lot of suppression. There is uncertainty and insecurity about the future, as well as anxiety about leaving campus. There may also be some lamentation about the past. Life is new every day, and the past is not as important as you imagine it to be. The future is not as terrifying as you fear. Most people live their lives with the fear that the sky might fall, leading ordinary and uneventful lives.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19651
       },
       {
        "question": "I can't control my fantasies and I have trouble concentrating. Do I have a mental illness?",
        "description": "I always have a lack of focus. I also have a tendency to daydream and fantasize. I feel particularly anxious. My mind is always filled with fantasies, such as fantasizing about how powerful and excellent I am, imagining that many people admire me. Or thinking about what to do tomorrow, what to do tonight, basically just constantly thinking about irrelevant things. I can't concentrate during class and I often drift off. This greatly reduces my productivity and I often feel headaches, which may be due to this reason. I constantly daydream and I don't know what's happening to me. I wasn't like this when I was younger. I'm also quite insecure.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello, sending you a warm hug~ After reading your description, it seems that you are prone to fantasizing, like daydreaming fantasies. I can tell that you have difficulty controlling these thoughts, and I truly sympathize with your situation. Based on your description, \"I always have poor concentration. And I fantasize and imagine a lot. I also feel particularly anxious.\" You also fantasize about scenes of your own success. Perhaps deep inside, you yearn for success, but there are many factors in real life that hinder you and make you feel helpless. Maybe those factors are the reason why you can't step out of your comfort zone. Perhaps you should try to live in the present, because only by putting in the same amount of effort can you achieve the same level of reward. It's possible that self-discipline and learning activities may be difficult for us to stick to and even bring discomfort, but being obsessed with comfort will not make us grow.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2126
       },
       {
        "question": "The pressure on first-year students is a bit high, but I just don't put in effort.",
        "description": "I feel exhausted and have self-harmed before, and even thought about suicide. I feel extremely useless and want to put in effort, but I'm just lazy. I know all the right things to do, but I just don't do them. My English and math skills are especially bad, but I just don't want to learn. I feel like I won't understand anything in class and I feel embarrassed when the teacher asks me questions. I'm incredibly tired and don't know what to do, feeling a bit lost. I have a habit of staying up late until one or two in the morning, and then I struggle to stay awake during class, my mind wandering. I feel like I'm not as good as other people.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Young people who don't work hard will regret it when they grow old. It is important to work hard, but your efforts should come from the heart and follow the natural order. Don't force yourself, don't be mentally stressed, and don't ruin your health. Firstly, avoid staying up late and try to wake up early. That's how I studied. Later, I tried to be cunning, and as a result, my college entrance exam results were disastrous. Now, 30 years have passed, and it's only when my own child goes through the college entrance exam that my past wishes are finally fulfilled. It's a painful realization after 30 years. Effort can be done in a proper way. Best wishes to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21318
       },
       {
        "question": "Is constantly questioning the details after my wife cheated on me considered ineffective communication?",
        "description": "My wife had an affair, but there were instances of deception and threats. I have chosen to forgive her, but I can't help asking her detailed questions, such as what positions they used during sex, whether she found it more pleasurable than with me, or what her state of mind was at the time. I would like to know if this kind of communication is ineffective, or if there are more effective ways to communicate.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, infidelity, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can understand your current state and mood. In fact, anyone can cheat, regardless of gender. If your wife cheated but was deceived or threatened, some people may not have a clear understanding of others. Cheating entails certain consequences, whether it be financial, the loss of youth, or facing the dissolution of the family, etc. About forgiveness, the fact that you still can't help but ask her detailed questions, such as the positions they used during sex, whether she felt more comfortable than with me, or her state of mind at the time, actually shows that you still have such concerns deep inside and haven't completely forgiven. There are many examples that show many people who appear to forgive infidelity do so for the sake of the family, the remaining love in their hearts, and their responsibilities, etc. That's why you have such behavior of asking for details. This can be understood because nobody is perfect, and it's not possible to immediately do well and relax. Can you please tell me if this is ineffective communication or if there are other more effective ways of communication? In regards to communication, this behavior of asking for many details about infidelity is not communication. It might be to satisfy your curiosity and possessiveness. You are puzzled about certain things and wonder if you weren't good enough for her to cheat. You're just not brave enough to face it, but your questioning happens to imply these things. So, if you want to communicate, you should openly share your true thoughts deep inside with your wife, don't suppress them too much, otherwise, it may become a hidden danger in the future. Asking for details about infidelity is also not effective communication. Better suggestions are: 1. Arrange a meeting with your wife to recreate the feelings you had when you were in love to strengthen your relationship. 2. If you have children, especially young ones, go to an amusement park together as a family to experience a warm atmosphere. 3. Do nothing, just sit and have a good conversation with your wife, but be tactful. It's not an interrogation. You can recall the past together, look at old photos, and then raise the questions that you hesitate to ask in your heart to resolve them as soon as possible. I wish you happiness and joy!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for inviting me to answer. Going through such a traumatic event, you must be under a lot of psychological stress. As a man, this is also a devastating blow to your self-confidence. It is clear that you care deeply about your wife. Although she was the one who had an affair, you still empathize with her, believing she was deceived or threatened. You have chosen to forgive her, but you can't help but ask for the details (a sign that you haven't completely forgiven her), all from her perspective: what positions \"she\" had sex in, whether \"she\" felt more satisfied than with you, or \"her\" emotions at that time... You care deeply about her. Your constant questioning about the details of the affair and her feelings at that time may be because you are always accustomed to neglecting your own feelings. You always need verbal affirmation from others to gain confidence in yourself. I would like you to redirect your attention and think about your own inner feelings: being deceived by the person sleeping next to you, what do you feel? Confusion, anger, sadness, and...? How do you convince yourself to vent or let go of these emotions? Or maybe you haven't let go of your emotions yet and are just habitually forcing yourself to ignore them? Or perhaps, through questioning and seeking details from her, you are repeatedly digesting your own inner pain and confusion? Are you asking yourself whether she still loves you, what she loves about you, and why she betrayed you? They say a knot can only be untied if it is untangled. Fear lies only in not trying to untangle it. Don't get entangled with her and the past events for now. Take some time for yourself, spend some time alone, understand the difficulties you are facing, and experience your inner feelings, then think about the problems that have existed during your years of being together, etc. Let your thoughts fly freely for a while. Straighten yourself out first, so that your choices don't seem so blurry.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, a leaf brightens the mind, a word knows you. 1. If your partner has cheated, you choose to forgive but can't help asking for details, such as... you are currently in a state where you intellectually accept it but emotionally haven't fully accepted it. Your partner's infidelity makes you feel betrayed physically, something that was once \"exclusive\" to you (this description does not mean the possessions of a male or female, but rather a description of a psychological state) has been taken by someone else. Subconsciously, it triggers your biological instinct of competition. Therefore, you behave by constantly asking for details, whether it will make you feel more comfortable than your partner and focusing on her state of mind at that time is a \"competitive\" and \"comparative\" attitude. 2. I also noticed the situation of being deceived or threatened, but you did not elaborate. If that is the case, your partner is actually the victim in the \"cheating\" relationship. So, when you can't help but ask for details, will it remind your partner of the \"past hurt\" she does not want to recall from previous intimate experiences? Of course, you did not describe your partner's thoughts on this matter and other details, so I cannot further analyze it for you. But I need to remind you that this is a matter of family relationships, and it may not only be you who is troubled by it. 3. Your last question is whether this belongs to \"ineffective communication\" and you want more effective communication. The effectiveness or ineffectiveness of communication depends on whether the problem is resolved. Since you can't help but want to ask now, it shows that you still haven't fully digested this matter, you just don't know how to effectively resolve it. In the case of family relationships and involving a third party, I suggest that you and your partner seek psychological counseling together, which will be more beneficial in resolving your issues.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, your wife has cheated on you, although you know that she was coerced, you have made the rational decision to forgive her, but you have been threatened. The part where you feel threatened is that you feel compared to someone else, you are no longer confident in your sexual abilities, and as a result, you lack confidence in your own abilities and your wife's attractiveness. You worry that the other person is better than you in terms of sexual performance, and you worry that your wife's heart leans towards that person. Your wife feels that you are inferior to the other person. When you ask for details from your wife, it is a way of comparing yourself, and you are looking to prove that you are not inferior to him. You wonder if asking for details from your wife has led to ineffective communication between you two, and you are potentially seeking an effective way to communicate. In reality, what you need is self-acceptance and confidence in yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14505
       },
       {
        "question": "As someone with depression and anxiety, what reasons should I have to apply for overnight stays?",
        "description": "Three new roommates often stay up late, making me only able to sleep at 3:30 a.m. as someone with anxiety and depression, staying up late makes me feel uncomfortable in my heart, nauseous, with a sore neck, and as if my head is being crushed by bricks. I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. I want to apply for off-campus accommodation, but the school closure means everyone is staying on campus. I also dare not let the school know about my anxiety and depression. I only have half a year left before I graduate and start my internship, and I don't want to be expelled for falling ill. What reason should I use to apply for off-campus accommodation? Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, conflicts and resolutions, roommates and classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Do you know if you have been officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression? Have you been taking medication or receiving psychological counseling? Staying away from home is one method of solving problems, but it's not the only one. I understand your concerns about applying to stay away from home. Perhaps you can consider how you can cope with each possible situation and decide if you can handle it after organizing your thoughts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9703
       },
       {
        "question": "\"Just turned 16, my boyfriend secretly took inappropriate photos of me while wearing a dress. Should we break up?\"",
        "description": "In the summer, I went to the library with him wearing a long skirt. I fell asleep cross-legged on the floor, and my skirt may have slipped off. He took a secret photo of my private area on his phone. I suddenly woke up and saw a glimpse of it, but when I wanted to take a closer look, he took it back. At that moment, I didn't know how to respond and wasn't sure about anything. I was just a little angry, so I left by car. He kept apologizing throughout the journey and asking what was wrong. He even knelt down in the library. He said he would never do it again, but he didn't specify what he wouldn't do. Earlier, he also touched my chest, just a simple touch, but I really disliked it. Maybe he thought I was angry because of that. Later, when we got back home, he sent a message saying that the photo was accidentally taken when the screen was touched. Should I believe him? He's a good person, quite straightforward and has a good temper. He spoils me a lot, and I really like him. I don't know if I should break up with him.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management, sexual behavior.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "During puberty, boys sometimes do inappropriate things, so we need to learn how to protect ourselves. 1. If the other person cannot control their behavior, it's best for girls to avoid giving them a chance to be alone. Whether it's their past actions or present voyeurism, it shows a lack of respect for the subject, and the other person's apology is a bit extreme, especially when they kneel down and say they won't do it again. From this incident, it can be inferred that the other person probably had strict upbringing, but they also have a rebellious side. They may apologize sincerely whenever they do something wrong, but they rarely realize their own issues. So, we need to learn how to protect ourselves. If one day the other person does something even more outrageous, but again apologizes by kneeling down, should we choose to forgive them? 2. Not refusing something doesn't mean we are consenting to it. Because teenagers nowadays mature early, they may have more knowledge about certain things, but they might also have some misconceptions, such as thinking that not saying no is the same as saying yes, or that if they apologize for their mistakes, everything is okay. If the girl hadn't discovered the other person's voyeuristic behavior, would they have continued to deny it? After all, some things involve personal privacy, and therefore require our consent. The other person failed to do that, so we really need to be cautious. Whether or not to break up is a decision the girl needs to make for herself, but we need to clearly communicate our boundaries to the other person. At the same time, we also need to protect ourselves. Someone who truly loves us will never force us to do things we don't like. The world loves you, and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending warm hugs your way! After reading your description, I understand your dilemma and pain. On one hand, you really like this guy, but on the other hand, he does things that you cannot tolerate! You don't know how to make a decision! So, let's analyze it from these three points! Whether or not to be together ultimately requires your own consideration and decision, after all, you have to find your own path. Firstly, considering your age, you should be in high school, right? At your age, it's okay to have a crush, but for girls, once they become deeply involved, it can easily affect their studies. I recommend maintaining an appropriate distance from your boyfriend and prioritizing your studies. Secondly, judging from your boyfriend's actions, it's not worth getting too close to him at this stage. He doesn't seem to have good self-control around the opposite sex, and taking inappropriate photos in the library shows a lack of restraint and awareness of the setting. If you get too close without truly knowing what he wants, it might be risky! To protect yourself, it is advisable to maintain a healthy distance and not get too intimate. Lastly, based on your situation, since you like this guy, learn to set boundaries! Don't let yourself get too deeply involved and jeopardize your future. Once a girl has her first relationship in high school, she tends to place special importance on the first guy when it comes to future relationships. If this guy separates from you in terms of education or other aspects in the future, it can be emotionally distressing for you. Moreover, if you get too close and face an unexpected pregnancy or something similar, it would be irresponsible towards yourself, and the guy may not be able to handle it either! In conclusion, this boyfriend of yours has already shown various frivolous and inappropriate behaviors, so be mindful of maintaining distance! If he can control himself and learn to respect you, you can continue the relationship. But if he doesn't understand how to restrain himself, you should consider your own situation. Self-protection is key! Focus on your studies. I hope this advice is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think the female protagonist still needs to pay attention to maintaining boundaries with the opposite sex. Girls should have their own principles and bottom line. During middle school, it is still promoted for male and female students to have normal interactions and be friends. Firstly, our main task is to study. Secondly, at this age, we are still relatively naive, and our understanding is limited. It is normal to have a liking for someone of the opposite sex. When we enter puberty and see male or female classmates that we admire, we may have many little thoughts. We need to have a correct understanding of this and accept it. Do not think of it as something shameful and avoid it, which would affect the normal interaction and communication among classmates. But we also cannot be completely ignorant and not consider anything, disregarding the consequences and losing ourselves. Girls need to protect themselves. It is recommended not to spend too much time alone with male classmates, and if possible, not to use the terms boyfriend or girlfriend too early. Learn to refuse and say no. For certain things, it is important to clearly express one's stance and attitude to avoid being passive and awkward, and even irreversible situations. When it comes to male classmates' requests, it is necessary to selectively agree and interact. Love is a wonderful emotion, so it is recommended to keep this liking in one's heart for now. You can learn from the good qualities of others.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello girl, please take care of yourself. Be pure and simple, be happy without being weighed down by materialism, and don't bear the burden of sexual pressure too early. It's great that you had the right reaction to your friend's inappropriate behavior. People with inappropriate behavior will always try to take advantage of you as a young girl. You want him, a young boy, to talk about responsibility and the future with you, but everything is still uncertain and impossible. As teenagers, you should maintain a certain distance in your interactions, at least show mutual respect and caution towards each other. When faced with inappropriate behavior, be brave enough to say \"no\" and then turn and escape danger. You did the right thing, but did you handle it well? What does it mean to handle it well? It means feeling satisfied with yourself, feeling that he received the punishment he deserved, and ensuring your own safety. His behavior, for a boy going through puberty, is a normal sexual impulse, but it is an immoral behavior. If it's not stopped soon, worse behaviors may occur, possibly even breaking the law. I think you should understand the seriousness of the situation and maintain a certain distance from him. For a 16-year-old student, although dating is not legally prohibited, it mostly brings more harm than good to both parties' physical and mental development and future prospects. I won't make any judgments here. It is best to maintain a pure and friendly relationship, without getting caught up in sexual desires or indulging in the \"forbidden fruit\" too early. If early pregnancy, repeating a grade, dropping out of school, impacting further education, or causing harm to oneself occurs, it would be a big \"regret\" for both the boy and girl involved. Hearing your attitude towards \"just touching\" really worries people. If you don't strongly reprimand and leave immediately, that would be indulging. There will be a second line, a third line, and even more than just touching the chest or private parts. This is already a serious offense. Girl, it's better not to be friends with someone like this, be cautious! Your parents probably know about this and are likely to educate him or even have thoughts of wanting to harm him. As for your lack of caution, your parents may even have thoughts of strangling you (the response of real parents). If it were me, I would end the friendship! Be cautious, very cautious!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Child, good afternoon! I feel the sadness deep inside you. I give you a hug and let's sit down and talk, hoping to inspire and help you. 16 years old is the high school stage, where physical and mental changes happen rapidly. Since you and your partner have confirmed your romantic relationship, even if it may not be seen as serious in the eyes of parents or teachers, it is still very important to you. Trust and respect are essential elements in a romantic relationship. It is beneficial for long-term development. You can communicate your anger and sadness directly with your boyfriend, but his explanation is obviously unclear. In this incident, instinct overcame reason and emotion. Whether or not to break up is something only you can decide. Set your own boundaries, fight for your legitimate rights, protect your physical and mental well-being, and then focus on romantic relationships. Having said that, I wish you the best! The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ Objectively speaking, boys around the age of 16 or 17 are experiencing rapid development in both their sexual physiology and psychology. At this age, they start to develop an interest in the opposite sex and may have thoughts about engaging in sexual activities. There could be two reasons why your boyfriend took your private photos: first, out of curiosity about the female body, and second, driven by sexual desire. These thoughts are common for most boys in this age group, but some boys have better self-control and can regulate themselves appropriately. Others may engage in some inappropriate behaviors initially or seek relief by watching explicit videos. Such thoughts are a normal phenomenon, but engaging in such behaviors would be inappropriate. Because you are both underage, exploring sexuality should be about understanding it but not attempting it. Taking someone's private photos without their knowledge is considered an invasion of personal privacy and even sexual harassment from a legal perspective. If he is interested in sexuality, he should seek knowledge in a reasonable manner and not engage in such inappropriate behavior. You need to make it clear to him that this behavior is wrong and not allowed emotionally or legally. As for whether to break up or not, that depends on your inner feelings. It is understandable that there can be some intimate actions between boyfriends and girlfriends. However, the level of intimacy should be limited due to your age. For minors, it is best to avoid overly intimate actions. You can talk to him and let him know your boundaries. If he is willing to respect your feelings, then the relationship can continue. If he disregards your feelings and crosses your boundaries, then you need to make a clear decision. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12663
       },
       {
        "question": "Can I trust my boyfriend if he has hired prostitutes before?",
        "description": "I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. He is eight years older than me, treats me well, and is very filial to his parents. He has set up the fingerprint recognition on his phone for me, so I can access it anytime. Usually, I don't go through his phone because I trust him. But last month, I accidentally stumbled upon some pornographic groups he had joined on his phone. Upon further investigation, I also found messages from prostitutes contacting him. Although he didn't reply to those messages, he didn't delete them either; he just let them stay on his phone. He admitted that he had visited prostitutes before we started dating, but that was years ago, and he promised that he hasn't done so again since being with me and won't in the future. As for why he didn't delete the messages immediately, he said it was because he was too busy with work and didn't have time to organize them. I don't know if I should believe him because if he truly values our relationship, why wouldn't he delete those inappropriate things and continue to keep them? Is he keeping them for future use? He said it was from many years ago, but I saw the time when those messages were sent, and it was in the first few months of our relationship. Although only the messages from the prostitutes were there, why would he keep them? I don't know if I should believe him or if I can still accept him.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed feelings, anxious feelings, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs~ Although my experience in love is not very extensive, only once, I have always believed that there is no deceit in love. No matter what the reason, it should not let me live in lies. Women in love should be grateful for the honesty of men. Willingness to show their vulnerable side is also a trust in women. Women need to grow in love, learn from their mistakes. Getting lost in the fog is not a woman's fault, but getting lost in lies is a woman's sorrow. Women should believe in their own instincts, believe in their inner voice. If there are concerns, dismiss them, if they cannot be resolved, then part ways. Women need to protect themselves first in order to demand protection from others when necessary. Men can leave at any time, with any excuse. Are we women just supposed to stay in the background of men? If we don't want to be bothered, to become obsessively worried due to our lack of trust, then we should take the initiative to make decisions. Women can also hold the power of initiative. If your bottom line is being a prostitute, regardless of whether there is any deception, the answer is no. Don't give in easily.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 283
       },
       {
        "question": "I am always worried about my loved ones having an accident, and I feel restless every day.",
        "description": "Since I started working and earning money, I have returned to my hometown and have been in close proximity to my family. My mother is overly protective of me and constantly worries about my safety. After going through my mother's surgery and my grandmother's hospitalization, I have become as cautious as my mother, always worrying about my family's accidents or illnesses. When I am alone, I easily have random thoughts and constantly remind them to be careful, feeling restless every day.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, sharing and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "- Always worried about family members having accidents or getting sick, and having random thoughts when alone.\n- Constantly reminding them to be safe, feeling restless every day. Hello, asker. Worries are everywhere in life. People who have been hit by a car may have lingering fear of vehicles on the road. People who have been bitten by dogs may panic when they see a dog. When you personally experience your mother's surgery and your grandmother's hospitalization, this experience deepens your emotions of worry. Assuming that your mother and grandmother have not experienced the troubles of illness, you would not see them in pain, and you would not have so much anxiety. Because illness means a threat to life and health, according to Maslow's theory, safety is a basic instinct for humans. When we feel that our life (health) is being threatened, our focus will be entirely on safety, and other things that revolve around the well-being of body and mind will become insignificant. You are always in a state of worry and anxiety, constantly reminding them to be safe. You are using past experiences to judge your current life, worrying about things that are beyond your control. But we know that no matter what worries us, nothing will change because of it. Similarly, not worrying does not mean that they will not happen. Faced with a complex and ever-changing reality, trying to predict what may happen and wanting them to happen as we wish is unrealistic. Otherwise, we will fall into a vicious cycle of more anxiety the more we think about it. And you can actually see that your mother and grandmother can be treated through medical interventions. Although it is currently impossible to avoid any pain, it is at least controllable. People can rely on money and measures to successfully achieve health and safety in life. In that case, besides worry, we can also purchase insurance for our family and ourselves, undergo regular check-ups, and engage in activities that we enjoy to feel fulfilled and reduce worries. In addition, compared to those who are unaware of certain misfortunes in life due to their carefree nature, a person who maintains a certain level of worry can be more vigilant, responsible, and also experience a sense of value from this responsible attitude. It's just a matter of adjusting the degree of worry so as not to let this anxious emotion interfere with your life. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16703
       },
       {
        "question": "How to practice accepting the fact that you are an ordinary person?",
        "description": "Sometimes it feels very difficult to accept that I am not as good as others in certain aspects. When I try to accept it, there is a deep sense of fear that arises from within, which makes me very scared. I don't know what this is about. But in some areas where I want to be better than others, but my actual abilities are not enough and cannot be improved in a short period of time, I feel anxious and struggle. I think giving up might be a good choice for someone like me who is often anxious because I am not omnipotent, but I often can't truly give up from the bottom of my heart, which makes me feel ordinary and inferior to others, somewhat embarrassed. How can I practice accepting some of my imperfections?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there, may I give you a virtual hug? After reading your description, you feel upset and helpless because you view yourself as an ordinary person. I can totally understand your thoughts. Maybe we all had dreams of becoming extraordinary when we were young, but as we grow up, we gradually feel that we are not as special as we imagined. Based on your description, you want to know how to practice accepting your imperfections, but you are afraid to face this fact. Although I don't know what kind of environment you grew up in or what kind of work you do, personally, I believe that most people in society are ordinary, and only a small number of people are exceptionally outstanding. There are also lucky ordinary people who have received attention and cultivation for their talents, so they can become what they dream of. Maybe we are not as ordinary as we think, it's just that our talents haven't been nurtured and valued. If we can receive support and opportunities, perhaps we can also be extraordinary. But we still have the chance to change, we can rely on our own efforts to develop our talents. I suggest you read some books. When reading, it's easy to resonate with the author's viewpoints and feel the validation and support of those perspectives. At the same time, don't pay too much attention to the news reports, as they may disrupt your judgment. Most of what is reported in the news are rare events.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2472
       },
       {
        "question": "21-year-old, female, likes someone, feeling confused and hesitant, should I confess my feelings or not?",
        "description": "Uncle, hello, I don't know if you can see my message, but I still want to talk about it. I really don't know who to talk to. Have you ever experienced a crush? I don't know what to call my current situation. I found myself unknowingly liking a guy. But I know very little about him. We don't even chat on WeChat. But I have this feeling of being attracted to him. We met while playing badminton in college. He is really good at badminton, in my opinion. Of course, most of the time we just play badminton and don't really communicate much, just sports buddies. Considering that he is two years older than me, he is now working, probably near the school, but this is just my guess. Because he came to play badminton at school during the National Day holiday. And then I saw him again. I used to think that my crush would end as long as he graduated, but his appearance made me realize that my thoughts are back again. Lately, I've been thinking about whether I should be brave and confess, but when I think about the distance between us, I feel like it's not realistic. Also, I live in a dorm with three other people, and they all have boyfriends. I'm afraid that I only want to be in a relationship because of their influence. I'm starting to feel confused and tangled up.",
        "keywords": "Romance, single, affection.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. It's not necessary to consider too much when you like someone. Before you have confirmed that they are the lifelong partner you want, go ahead and give it a try. Be courageous and confess your feelings. Even if you get rejected and the crush ends, it won't be too difficult to get back to normal life. Crushes are beautiful, but it's painful to have an unrequited crush that doesn't lead to anything. You, being 21 years old, are referred to as a \"big brother\" by him, so age is definitely not an obstacle to love, that's for sure. I don't know why you haven't expressed your feelings yet. Is it because you're afraid? Uncertain if this relationship will have any results? I understand your dilemma. You thought you could move on after he graduated from college, but you met him during the National Day holiday and now your heart is stirred again. It means you haven't moved on yet and still have hope. The longer you have a crush on someone, the more difficult it is to suppress the fantasies of confessing. When you have a crush on someone without their knowledge, without them knowing your feelings, for them, nothing happens. But it doesn't feel good in your heart, so you need to have a bit of confidence. Don't think too much about other factors. The only thing in front of you is whether you like him or not. If you like something, you have to fight for it. Love is the same. One side will always have to make an effort first. The other three people in your dorm have boyfriends, maybe that affects you and makes you feel envious. But girl, liking someone is not about comparing, it's about knowing that I am happy in our little moments together. Even if I don't have a boyfriend, I can still live well and be happy. This is my life and I am in charge. You have little knowledge about guys, but you were drawn to him when playing badminton, so there must be something about him that you appreciate. In psychology, there is a phenomenon called the halo effect: it means having a very good impression of someone, so everything about that person is considered good. Have you not yet noticed his flaws because you don't know him well enough? Because of lack of understanding, the mystery amplifies your expectations of him, and you feel attracted to him. The longer the time goes on, the stronger this feeling becomes. If you're not in a hurry, my suggestion is to start from being friends first, get to know him better, and then find the right moment to confess. I hope my answer can help you. I wish you find your own happiness soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! Should you confess your feelings to someone you like? Sometimes we say, since you like him, why not confess your feelings? Yes, confessing once is not such a big deal for your life, so if you have such thoughts, you can go ahead. But based on your description, there is a very important question - are you mentally prepared for the outcome after confessing? In other words, he is very likely to reject you, and of course, rejection is his right, isn't it? So, if you are okay with being rejected and can adjust your mindset, then it's fine, and confessing is something you can do if you want. Actually, based on your description, I feel that the level of understanding between you is not enough, maybe he has no impression of you at all, and in this case, the chances of success after confessing will be very low. The establishment of any relationship requires acquaintance, understanding, and familiarity. There must be such a process, otherwise, it's just a gamble. Actually, objectively speaking, whether your roommate has a boyfriend or not has nothing to do with you. You should not be easily influenced by them. You should have your own opinion. Being single is not so scary or terrible. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello downstairs, your message has been received. However, I am not an uncle, so I'm not sure if your question requires a specific uncle to answer. Here is my response for your reference. Based on your description, it seems that your current state is a secret crush. You established a friendship through playing basketball, and at that time, you started having feelings for him. However, because he graduated and left the school, you felt that the possibility of building a relationship was low, so you let it go. But fate works in mysterious ways, as the person you thought you would never see again came back to the school to play basketball during the holidays. Perhaps this time, you realize that your feelings for him and the desire to get closer have become even stronger. On the other hand, you don't know much about other aspects of him. But some information is actually very important, such as whether he is single, his character, personality, employment situation, etc. You also feel uncertain about your own feelings. Are you really experiencing a crush? Or is it because of hidden pressure in your living environment? So you feel anxious and conflicted, which is normal. It also shows that you have both sensitivity and rationality when it comes to dealing with emotions, which is a great advantage. I suggest not confessing your feelings right away, but rather developing a friendship as basketball buddies. You have a common interest and you are already WeChat friends, which is a great platform for communication and opportunities. As a girl, you can take the initiative to invite him to participate in some basketball activities, gradually increasing time spent together and opportunities to get to know each other. This process is important for both of you. As you get to know each other better, you will also be able to understand your own feelings more clearly, whether you truly like him or it's just because you feel lonely. Facing love requires courage and wisdom. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It seems that there is a little bit of ambiguity between you and him when playing basketball together. If he doesn't have anyone else in his heart, then it's easy for you to be a little more proactive. As for whether or not to make a move, if you really like him, why not go for it? Don't worry about other influences, just take care of yourself. It's a good thing to date multiple people before getting married. Going through a romantic relationship, regardless of the outcome, is always an important experience for personal growth. Give it a try, so that you'll have fewer regrets in the future. And if this relationship succeeds, it will truly be a beautiful thing in life. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6951
       },
       {
        "question": "My younger brother has been blaming himself and feeling depressed since his girlfriend's suicide. How can I persuade him to see a doctor?",
        "description": "The younger brother feels guilty and falls into depression due to his girlfriend's suicide. He becomes unsociable, has little emotional connection with his family, and stopped seeing a doctor after one visit. Currently, he is unemployed and drifting alone outside.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, trauma therapy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "This is a very complicated matter. The emotional blockage still needs psychological treatment. If we can find out the reasons for the girl's suicide, and let the younger brother know that the girl's suicide has nothing to do with him, and understand the whole story clearly, it would be the best. The second method is to introduce him to a girlfriend, and gradually shift his mental focus away, so that he can slowly overcome the shadows.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 905
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do people choose loyalty and faithfulness? Can't they follow their instincts?",
        "description": "I am 19 years old and have a long-distance boyfriend who is really great. But even though I have this amazing boyfriend, I still find myself attracted to others and worried that I won't be able to resist temptation. I just don't understand why people choose to have a monogamous life instead of being free to love and follow their instincts. It seems so much better to be irresponsible and do whatever you want. Besides external factors like money and morals, I want to know what makes someone willingly choose to spend their life with one person instead of being free and unrestricted.",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I think this is really a great question. It's thought-provoking. Many people may have thought about it vaguely, but you asked it explicitly. You have the courage and the ability to think. I'll share my understanding with you, and we can explore it together. Our instincts may tell us that it would be great to follow our hearts, to love multiple people without being tied to one person for life. It seems more in line with human nature. But when we think about it on a deeper level, it may not necessarily be true. Setting aside morals, in real life, infidelity is not uncommon even in monogamous relationships. However, if we have no constraints of marriage, we may go to another extreme. Just imagine. It's okay if only a few people have the idea of loving multiple people, the impact on society may not be significant. But what if everyone is like that? It's unimaginable, right? Society may become chaotic. Looking at it from a psychological perspective: people achieve a dynamic balance between constraint and freedom. If there is only freedom, it may not necessarily be good for the individual. People have reason and can recognize their own existence, as well as phenomena such as aging and death. So people develop a feeling: loneliness. And with loneliness comes fear, fear of losing connection to the outside world, fear of being overwhelmed by the world. Therefore, the greatest need for people is to overcome the feeling of loneliness and reestablish connections with others and the whole world. But indulgence cannot drive away loneliness. The unity achieved through indulgence is temporary. Once the effect of the pleasure wears off, people become clear-headed again and the feeling of loneliness resurfaces. So indulgent people have to repeat this process over and over again. Only love can bring people closer, allowing them to form new unions and truly overcome loneliness and fear, and find meaning in their existence. Moreover, it cannot be all-encompassing love. Sometimes, loving too many people may not deepen the connection with individuals. Because love also implies responsibility. I'm not saying that one should only love one person for their whole life, but there may be many differences between loving one person wholeheartedly and loving multiple people at the same time. Love is a giving, not a taking. In the process of giving to each other, both parties awaken the vitality within each other, and obtain happiness and fulfillment. That's the beauty of love. Perhaps one day, you will willingly choose to love only one person. Erich Fromm said: positive love also requires four essential elements: care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. I would like to recommend a book to you called \"The Art of Loving\". I gained a lot from reading it. As the questioner, you are young, go explore and experience it yourself. I believe life will give you the answer. Wishing you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, to answer your first confusion, the premise of following instincts is that the other party can also accept it. The freedom we always talk about is also under legal constraints. Why do we need that? It is because personal desires and instincts are conducted without harming others. So, if your boyfriend confirms that he will not be hurt by you having another lover, then of course you can follow your instincts and interact with others, there is no problem with that. But on the other hand, if personal desires harm others, then we should try to avoid such issues. The second confusion is what makes a person willingly choose to spend their whole life with someone, rather than being free and unconstrained. I think there are two possibilities. First, in the eyes of these people, choosing to spend their life with someone does not conflict with being free and unconstrained. They are not interested in other people, and their spouse is someone who can understand them and resonate with them mentally, so even if they have a partner or get married, they still remain free and unconstrained. Second, in the eyes of some people, freedom and unconstraint are not that important, as they rank them lower in their life, while family and their partner rank higher in priority. After all, life presents infinite possibilities, what may be more important to you, like honey to a bee, may not be that important to others. These are my own answers to your two questions, I hope they can bring you some reflection and inspiration. Good luck~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The original post is now 19 years old and self-esteem is still in the expansion period. The constraints felt are mainly external, so loyalty and loyalty in the original post are also due to \"money, moral and other external reasons\". Under this assumption, the essence of the original post's question is why should we obey external constraints instead of listening to our inner voice? In fact, when we do things, we should listen to our inner voice. However, we need to be very vigilant here and not confuse instincts with our inner voice. There is a simple way to distinguish between them, which is whether the driving force comes from enjoyment or responsibility. And in this drive, is it only about oneself or the whole world? Instinct is a capability that the body possesses itself without any effort from the individual. When thirsty, one wants to drink. When hungry, one wants to eat. When seeing someone you like, you want to be with them. These satisfactions are all about enjoyment, and in these enjoyments, there is only oneself, not others. For example, the original post asks why it is not possible to love multiple people at the same time. When you think \"how nice it would be to be able to be irresponsible and do as you please,\" the man you have a connection with faces the possibility of being abandoned at any time. Put yourself in the shoes of potentially being abandoned at any time and see how it feels. Perhaps you would say, \"I'm willing to take the risk and accept being abandoned if I can't hold onto that man's heart.\" Then a new question arises, what is being improved or sublimated in this process? Nothing. It's just living like an animal. What is the meaning of being human in that case? When you follow your inner voice, you will feel that your inner light becomes brighter and your inner strength becomes stronger. If you continue to follow it, you will experience a kind of fulfillment and happiness. On the other hand, the driving force of instinct is an insatiable emptiness. You can only love multiple people because none of them can fill that emptiness. However, the voice of the inner self is very small, while the voice of instinct is loud. To restrain instinct and make it quiet, so that we can hear the voice of the inner self. Therefore, in many people, the voice of the inner self has never been heard. \"Do as you please without going beyond boundaries\" is about following the inner light, while doing as the instinct pleases is just about desire.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! I also think this is a topic worth contemplating. The pursuit of \"novelty and excitement\" may be an inherent human nature! From my personal perspective, if I were to choose a lifelong commitment, disregarding moral, responsibility, financial factors, it would probably be because - compared to novelty and excitement, I prefer a relationship that is intimate and comforting. (Of course, this is just my personal preference.) If I/my partner is someone who is whimsical and easily attracted to new things, then in this relationship, I would be reluctant to invest myself completely and would hold back, because we both know that this relationship will eventually come to an end. In that case, my first thought would definitely be how to minimize the hurt I would feel when the relationship ends, and as a result, the intimate experience brought by this relationship would be very limited. Sternberg proposed three elements of perfect love: intimacy, loyalty, and passion. Without intimacy and loyalty, only passion remains, becoming \"obsessive love.\" This is also the choice of many people nowadays, including the previously popular \"Pua\" technique, which has some shadows in it. Over time, it is likely that the ability to love someone and maintain a high-quality relationship will be lost! Just like a very good friend of mine who just broke up last night. He is someone who lives in the moment, as the girl said, love is about being willing and happy, and he secretly dates many girls as well. Although he has very good conditions, every relationship cannot last. Of course, this is the lifestyle he has chosen, I don't know how much hurt each broken relationship has caused him, but at least last night, he got drunk like a dog. There is a very common saying - loving someone is like picking shells on the beach, don't pick the biggest or the most beautiful, just pick the one you like the most, and once you've found it, never go to the beach again. We can think of it like this, maybe, after meeting you, the other person has also met better and more outstanding individuals, but they still chose you! Finally, I wish you a happy life and a happy future!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this is a very good question. I also have such thoughts, although I may not be able to answer you, let me just talk about my own feelings. First of all, I think humans are just animals, or so-called higher animals. Let's talk about the attributes of larger animals or animals in general. In fact, except for a few exceptions, like swans having only one mate for life, most animals have multiple mates throughout their lives. What I want to say is that this kind of multiple mates is a natural instinct of most animals, including humans. The reason humans are considered superior is because we have established some rules and systems, which may not necessarily conform to our nature. They are more in line with social governance or national will. So, if we look at many laws or moral standards, many of them do not conform to human nature. Freud's theory of personality posits three states of being: the id, the ego, and the superego. Each of us wants to act according to the state of our id, but social rules force us to develop towards the state of our superego. When we achieve a balance as individuals, we will take into account the id and the superego, and act according to our own principles. Finally, what I want to say is that we are inherently social beings, so first and foremost, you must abide by the law. For example, adhering to monogamy, otherwise, you could be charged with bigamy and face legal punishment. Secondly, even if you don't get married, having multiple boyfriends or girlfriends at the same time may face moral condemnation. Perhaps you may not care about these things, but you may face pressure from parents and friends because we are still social beings. The above is my understanding of intimate relationships, for reference only.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's as if we're talking face to face. You've raised a very good question. In reality, many people are like this, always pursuing their desires, easily distracted, and irresponsible. They follow their instincts and prioritize themselves. But in the end, what do they really achieve? Humans have both animalistic and humanistic sides, and the animalistic side is the most basic part of human nature. The animalistic side refers to our instincts, such as eating when hungry and drinking when thirsty, mostly for ourselves. This is human nature and instinct. However, successful people are more skilled at controlling this aspect of human nature, and they gain a lot from this process. This sets them apart and ultimately leads to success and extraordinary achievements. In fact, all the outcomes that make us better go against our animalistic nature. For example, if you want a good physique, you have to exercise and eat a balanced diet. However, our animalistic nature is to eat excessively and be lazy in bed. If we want to gain the cooperation and trust of others, we must learn to be understanding and loyal. Only then will others be willing to collaborate with us, whether it's in a team or in a marriage. So, if someone always acts on their whims or constantly changes their mind, over time, if others are aware of this trait, who would want to establish a long-term relationship with them? But does every project, every collaboration, every relationship have to reach a certain point before there can be a breakthrough, before there can be bigger gains? Likewise, ordinary people won't collaborate on a big project with someone they don't know well or haven't worked with for a long time because they don't know if they can trust that person. The same goes for relationships. If you only seek quick, short-lived romance and aren't prepared for something long-lasting, then you might not receive genuine affection from the other person. You may fall in love with multiple people, but you may not receive genuine love from anyone. The Golden Rule applies here as well: if you want others to be genuine towards you, you must first be genuine towards them. Don't be easily swayed by new opportunities. If you want someone to stay with you forever, then you should also remain committed to them. Otherwise, if your interactions are superficial and short-lived, you will find that when you're sad and seek comfort or when you're happy and want to share, there's no one by your side who truly understands your happiness or comforts you in sadness. Both understanding others and others understanding you require time. Cultivate your focus, cultivate your loyalty. This not only applies to others but also helps you become a better person. All the things that make you better go against your natural inclinations and may make you feel uncomfortable. So, do you choose comfortable decadence or uncomfortable excellence? Love yourself and keep going. I hope this advice is helpful to you. Click \"useful\" if it is. Thank you for crossing paths with me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Giving you a warm hug. Your question goes beyond the current reality. In ancient societies, this may have been possible. With fewer people, the male humans would go out hunting for food, while females would not stay at home and would seek other males. As a result, it was difficult to determine the paternity of children. As society developed, the institution of marriage emerged to constrain women and provide legitimacy to children. In feudal society, men had multiple wives and concubines, while women were expected to stay at home and raise children. As women started gaining education and equality, they began to feel the imbalance in the institution of marriage. To address this, the new China was established, implementing a monogamous marriage system that imposed constraints on both men and women based on moral values. Therefore, in today's society and from a moral perspective, marriage is a mutual commitment that suits societal development and our national situation. To bring about change, there must be better physical or institutional alternatives that gradually replace the current system. Speaking of instincts, both men and women have desires, but it comes down to self-control and personal restraint in managing intense desires. Without rules and constraints in society, one can only imagine the consequences on the country, society, and families. In addition to pursuing a partner, we also have other things in life that we can focus on. Why not shift our attention and live in the present, avoiding unrealistic fantasies that only bring anxiety? In other words, if a woman is involved with multiple men or a man has multiple female partners, can they handle it? It would only create more trouble. So, let go of assumptions and fantasies, face reality, and focus on actionable things. If your long-distance boyfriend makes you feel lonely and unhappy, and you are not getting what you want, you can choose to continue the relationship or end it, and decide if you want to pursue a new romantic relationship. You are in control of your own life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2471
       },
       {
        "question": "Do female bisexuals need to come out of the closet?",
        "description": "I am a girl, and in recent years, I have discovered that I have that kind of inclination. So far, I have developed a secret crush on three girls. Sometimes, I feel that they can attract me more than boys can....",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I couldn't resist answering your question when I saw it. Regarding sexual orientation, it is still a sensitive topic in our country, but you don't have to worry too much. Because you didn't mention your age in your question, I will analyze it from the perspectives of youth and maturity, hoping to help you. 1. If you are still young, please don't rush to conclusions about your sexual orientation, but also don't suppress your preferences. Give yourself more time to determine through emotional experiences in life. 2. If you have reached a mature mindset, it will be easier for you. You just need to face bisexuality correctly, consider rationally whether to come out or not, and what it means for your life, and then make a choice. Regardless of age, whether heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or transgender, as long as you don't harm others and love sincerely, you will receive support. In terms of openness in our country, young people actually don't have too many opinions about sexual orientation. But, as you mentioned, what troubles you is whether you can come out to your family. If your family is very open-minded and accepting, I am really happy for you. Otherwise, you may receive some doubts, but I also hope you understand that they don't not love you, they just don't understand and need more time to accept. Your mindset is also important, don't feel like you did something wrong. Having diverse sexual orientations is not wrong. What's wrong is that people lack a deep understanding of it. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 921
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do people always say things that I don't understand?",
        "description": "Will feel disgusted towards people who like themselves, get inexplicably excited when seeing rainy weather, experience intermittent breakdowns, say things that they cannot understand at midnight, and then cry while holding their head in their hands, with their body trembling uncontrollably.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the op a hug! Welcome to the warm nest of depression. I'm a little stove in the nest, hoping to bring some warmth and light to the op's heart, dispelling the coldness and darkness. Based on the information provided by the op, there are still many issues troubling them. Without providing age, gender, and specific experiences, but only these symptoms, I can only share some personal opinions based on this limited information for the op to consider. Feeling disgusted by people who like you can be seen as a subconscious reaction of the op's self. Others' liking of the op can be seen as understanding, acceptance, and recognition, but the op feels disgusted by this understanding and acceptance, which is a denial of others' feelings and indirectly a denial of oneself. Getting excited for no reason when seeing rainy days is usually a mood depressant for many people, but the op's reaction is completely opposite. This may be related to some events in the op's past that occurred on rainy days, leaving a deep impression on their heart. Intermittent breakdowns, saying things they can't understand in the middle of the night, crying with their head in their hands and body trembling involuntarily, typically occur when one's conscious self-defense is relaxed and their subconscious self is released. These symptoms reflect extreme suppression and fear in the op's heart. It is very difficult and uncomfortable to carry such great pressure inside oneself, but no one can hear or see it. The op can try to first accept these problems, then write them down, find a place where nobody is around to scream them out, or release them through exercise. They can also schedule an appointment with a suitable therapist for structured psychological counseling to release and alleviate the internal pressure. This will bring relief from pain and enable the op to face life with ease.",
          "has_label": true,
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           },
           {
            "start": 148,
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           {
            "start": 206,
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           },
           {
            "start": 310,
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            "start": 396,
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           {
            "start": 481,
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           },
           {
            "start": 520,
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Sending warm hugs to you (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand that your state of mind is not great. Here is my analysis and advice, hoping it can help you: Based on your description, it seems that your thoughts are not very clear and your state of mind is not good. I wonder how long this has been going on for you? Perhaps what you need to know is that sometimes we not only need our own strength, but also someone who can lend us a hand. This is where the role of a psychologist becomes especially important. So, I suggest you consider seeing a counselor, as they may accelerate your recovery! #The world and I love you, take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8588
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it solely the guy's fault for the breakup because the girl found him too clingy?",
        "description": "Is it always the fault of the boys to break up because they are too clingy... Why are they so clingy~ For me, that is love...",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! (\u2267\u2207\u2266)/ I think you, the original poster, are a very lovely guy. You seem to be understanding and caring. I like that, so I hope you don't take things too much to heart. Everyone has different preferences and not everyone can truly understand or support the relationships you seek that are unnecessary to force. It's okay, just let it be. This kind of personality may be too much for some girls to handle. They might think, \"Why is her boyfriend more clingy than she is?\" and that could lead to various resentments towards you. Girls need comfort and care, but because of your personality, she may not be able to fully depend on you. Also, your desire for the care of others may intrude on your girlfriend's rest time and suffocate her. She needs to be able to independently handle her own affairs. She has her own studies and daily schedule, and during those times, she may not appreciate being disturbed by you. Moreover, you should trust that she can handle her own issues. Excessive worry can have the opposite effect. It shows your need for control and possessiveness, and it can make the other person feel restricted and without freedom. I don't know about your family situation, but generally, children who lack love tend to seek dependence on others. Perhaps in your life, your parents often say that they control you because they love you. They restrict your life and confine you to their side forever. But the problem is, people always learn to live independently and relying on others too much shows a lack of confidence in yourself. Although the things your girlfriend says may be excuses to put you off and not the real reasons for rejection, you should reflect on yourself. Have you always been demanding the care of others without truly giving back? I hope you encounter a better kind of love and become more responsible in nurturing that purity.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, giving you a warm hug. Different couples have different ways of getting along. Some chase each other, some appear distant but they are close, and some even take on a parent or elder role. However, the most important thing is whether we have found a way of getting along that makes both of us comfortable. In your question, you mentioned being broken up because you were too clingy. Actually, being clingy itself is not necessarily right or wrong. Just like you said, you think it's love, and you're not wrong. It is a form of love. However, it's important to note that even with someone close, a certain distance needs to be maintained. Perhaps your clingy behavior happened to touch a boundary that made the other person uncomfortable, and you haven't realized it yet. Coupled with a lack of effective communication, it resulted in this outcome. This doesn't mean you were wrong, nor does it mean the other person was wrong. I hope my answer can help you (\uff65\u03c9\uff65)\uff89.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1037
       },
       {
        "question": "Added an online friend, maybe it was blank at the time, why am I only able to respond with \"uh-huh\"?",
        "description": "I am a girl. I added an online friend, and looking back, I really feel like I can't be bothered to talk to boys or something. However, it's the same when facing a boy I like. I don't really know how to find topics, and I'm afraid of awkwardness. If I'm not familiar with someone, I won't naturally engage in conversation. I either just say \"yeah\" or let them do most of the talking, making me seem uninterested. Why am I like this? Actually, I don't talk much, only occasionally, and I'm also slow to warm up. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing, and when faced with someone, my mind goes blank. Is this because I like them or am I just lazy? Well, when I'm alone, I can come up with some interesting topics, but when a boy asks me if I have any questions for him, I couldn't think of anything. Maybe I was just blank at that moment and I'm confused about myself. Do I have a problem? I doubt myself. I'm better with friends who are more familiar to me.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "A person answering \"uh huh\" can have many different states. It could be agreement, it could be perfunctory, or it could be not knowing how to respond. It also depends on how the other person interprets it. According to your description, I'm not sure if I understand correctly, but you are confused about not knowing what to say to unfamiliar people or to a guy you like, your mind goes blank and you can only reply with \"uh huh\". You don't know if this is okay, and you doubt if there is something wrong with you. So, can I understand that you are currently not fond of your interpersonal communication state with strangers and feel the need to change? Is your not knowing what to say due to nerves? Or is it because you genuinely don't know what to say? Or are you afraid of saying something wrong and making a bad impression? Or do you just feel like you don't have anything to say? Find the reason and then address the problem accordingly. There are many books on the art of speaking, such as \"How to Win Friends and Influence People\" by Dale Carnegie, \"The Art of Communication - Looking into People, Seeing Beyond People\" and \"Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High\", etc. I believe it's more important to understand and accept oneself. So, I also recommend \"Knowing Yourself, Accepting Yourself\", \"The Power of Self-Care\" and \"Nourishing and Settling Our Mind\". However, we often experience anxiety in life when things don't go well. \"Coping with Anxiety\", \"Managing Anxiety\" and \"Anxious Thoughts\" can also help alleviate some of it. And in our lives, we always need the courage and wisdom to strengthen ourselves. \"The Courage to be Disliked\", \"The Road Less Traveled\", \"Insecurity and Beyond\" and \"The Wisdom of Life\" hope to give you some guidance. Finally, books are other people's experiences that we can learn from, but we don't have to fully agree with them. Everyone has their own unique experiences, and authenticity is more important than perfection. Many things in life are interconnected. Just strive to live your own life. You may be disappointed, hesitate, but you will also gain and feel proud of yourself. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, I feel so sorry to see you in such distress, *hugs* to you. It's really difficult for introverted people. Normally, they don't have the courage to communicate with others too much, but suddenly they crave to share interesting things they've seen with others. However, they may not be familiar with those people and are afraid of disturbing them or feeling awkward. After all, friends who get along well are not by our side all the time, so it's not a bad thing to develop more friendly relationships. From your description, it's normal to have a blank mind and be afraid of saying the wrong thing when facing someone you like. You're totally fine. I remember one time when I cared a lot about maintaining a conversational atmosphere with a guy, I asked a friend for advice. She said to me, \"Just be sincere, there's no special method.\" I instantly admired her, I couldn't believe that she, who normally jokes around, was so serious. As long as the other person feels your sincerity, you don't need too many strategies to maintain the relationship. It seems that you're not satisfied with your online behavior at that time, but I feel that whether it's with friends or online acquaintances, typing and chatting online is always unable to accurately express what we want to say and our emotions. Compared to face-to-face conversation in real life, there's an additional emotional barrier. Perhaps it's not your fault after all, you don't have to feel so remorseful for not performing well. I suggest you speak up more in front of unfamiliar classmates, raise your voice a little, and complain about common annoyances. This is your common topic. Don't worry too much about not having anything to say. Many people are willing to express themselves. Maybe you can be a good listener and gradually your relationship with them will get closer. You can also express yourself appropriately and get to know each other.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Give the OP an encouraging hug. After reading the OP's description, I understand that the OP feels a bit \"at a loss\" when facing boys, especially those they have feelings for, as if their language function has \"gone on standby\". But this doesn't necessarily mean that we have a problem: for some people, when facing strangers or when starting to interact with someone they care about, similar situations may arise. Because when we face them, our hearts subconsciously become nervous, coupled with previous experiences of \"blanking out\", this can create a feeling that we will inevitably face an awkward situation this time as well, causing our nervousness to escalate and affecting our language organization, and so on. In light of this, we might as well touch on such scenarios in our daily lives, choosing someone to treat as the boy we care about, and practice more, gradually getting used to this nervous emotion. On the other hand, we can also learn some social skills appropriately.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7201
       },
       {
        "question": "I have severe depression accompanied by schizophrenia. Should I take a leave of absence from school?",
        "description": "This year, I was diagnosed with severe depression and schizophrenia, making it impossible for me to study normally. As a result, I took a long-term leave of absence. When it comes to the question of whether to continue studying or not, my family has different opinions. My mom believes that after resting well, I should return to school. However, other relatives believe that my health is the most important and that I should temporarily stay in a quiet and comfortable environment to recuperate before returning to school. Because I have a strong sense of self-protection, I have had a few sessions of psychological counseling, but the effects were not very obvious. I am a bit inclined to return to school because I'm afraid of delaying my studies, but at the same time, I'm also afraid that uncontrollable things might happen when I go back to school.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "No matter how strong your self-protective awareness is, severe depression accompanied by schizophrenia cannot be effectively treated with just a few psychological consultations. As the saying goes, it takes time to accumulate severe depression, and it also takes time to solve it. In my work, there are students who have similar situations as you. They feel that going to school may make them feel better, but usually they cannot stick to it for even a day. The next time they feel they can go, they can't even last half a day. I still suggest that you take good care of yourself and continue with psychological counseling. This is an important way for you to stay connected with others while staying at home. Medication can be effective, but combining it with long-term psychological counseling ensures better results. This is a conclusion drawn from many, many cases.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You are depressed, and there must be a problem with your family environment. From the fact that your mother is anxious for you to go to school, she has put a lot of pressure on you. It is suggested to stay with friendly relatives for a period of time, and also involve your mother in psychological therapy. If there is no improvement after some time, try switching to a different psychologist.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19945
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a boyfriend, but I have feelings for another guy, what should I do?",
        "description": "Gender: Female\nAge: 22\nOccupation: Graduate student\nProblem description: I met a boy online, we got along very well and I had feelings for him. I could sense that he also had feelings for me, but I couldn't accept it because I already have a boyfriend. So I rejected his confession and he blocked me. However, my emotions and productivity have been affected lately, and I often miss him. Request: I would like to ask the teachers if there are any methods that can help me quickly overcome my current state of confusion.",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, relationship management, liking.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Generally speaking, in the early stages of a relationship that has not yet deepened, people tend to have more doubts and attachments. This is because the perfect fantasy of the other person in their subconscious has not been shattered by reality, making it difficult to let go. If you try to \"forget about him\" too hard, it means that you are still keeping your attention tied to him. It is better to focus on other things that interest you more and invest more time and energy in life, study, work, etc. You don't always have to try to forget about him, it's okay to fully allow yourself to think about him when you miss him. With the decrease of hormones, this kind of longing will naturally subside.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading the description, I still have two small doubts. First, does the other person know that you have a boyfriend? Second, what is the content of the confession? Do they want to be your boyfriend or just maintain a friends with benefits relationship? This seemingly unsuccessful \"love\" is actually just an emotion for you. You get along very well with an opposite sex online friend, and it seems like you have found a soul mate, but it is likely that the other person is just providing you with emotional value that you cannot get from your boyfriend. You are lacking in this aspect, like encountering a refreshing rain. Fortunately, your subconscious and rationality saved you. They held you back before you crossed the line and let you reject the confession. You instinctively know that the other person is just providing you with emotions. If it really comes to reality, it's very likely that your current boyfriend won't truly treat you well, nor continue to provide you with emotional value. So, in order to free yourself from the current dilemma, there is only one method, and that is to see the \"truth\". At the same time, you need to reflect on why you would invest so much emotion or sentiment in an online acquaintance. Why do you desire emotional value so much? What needs in your real-life relationships are not being fulfilled? Can you communicate with your boyfriend to fulfill those needs? Stepping out of those lonely imaginings, only real relationships have the potential to heal your inner lack, only real relationships can bring you healing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Feeling conflicted is actually a signal from within: you need to pause and carefully examine what is happening. If you use certain methods to temporarily escape this discomfort, you will miss an opportunity to understand and experience yourself. The feeling is spontaneous and cannot be truly eliminated. The more you try to get rid of it, the more it will remind you in stronger ways of its existence, because it is a part of you. If possible, it may be better to consult with a teacher.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18873
       },
       {
        "question": "Will people feel happier with the increasing number of internet products?",
        "description": "With such a rich variety of internet products available today, there are numerous options for software consumption alone. Does this abundance of internet products increase or decrease people's sense of happiness?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, smartphone addiction.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Recently, I happened to be reading \"Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience,\" and the author's mentioned concept of psychic entropy can be used to explain the issues raised by the original poster. Entropy, in a sense, describes the degree of disorder and chaos in things. The higher the level of disorder, the higher the entropy value. Applied to the realm of the mind/thoughts, we call it psychic entropy. The abundance of products provides a plethora of information, and the influx of a large amount of information can increase psychic entropy. Happiness, on the other hand, can only be experienced when the entropy value is sufficiently low. Therefore, if the abundance of internet products only leads to an increase in a person's psychic entropy, it will diminish their sense of happiness. However, if a person has strong integrative abilities, the abundance of information will provide them with more materials, and from this perspective it may help them lower their psychic entropy (incorporating previously disordered/unable to integrate aspects through the addition of new materials). So, to sum up, I feel that internet products and other forms of information are the same - they can be used to your advantage if you can handle them, but if you are controlled/drowned by them, they can harm you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12106
       },
       {
        "question": "How to overcome innate fears of certain animals?",
        "description": "I have been scared of snakes since I was a child, even if they appear on TV or are toy snakes. I know they won't harm me, but I still feel very afraid. It's the same with some small insects. Why is that? How can I overcome this natural fear?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, hypochondria, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\u203bHow to overcome natural fear of certain animals? I, like the original poster, am also very afraid of snake-like animals. Even seeing toys similar to snakes can make my heart race. I think everyone has their own fears and disappointments. Just like you and I are afraid of snakes, snake owners can live with them. For example, some people are afraid of dogs, but many people love dogs. This is not a psychological problem, but rather a difference in understanding and perception between different beings, which can lead to different cognitive and behavioral responses. Therefore, do not worry too much, accepting one's own fear is also a way to face and deal with it. If you want to overcome this state, you can try the behaviorist method of 'systematic desensitization'. Try to be with the thing you are afraid of and see if it is as scary as you imagine. At first, you can spend a shorter amount of time together and then gradually increase it. Eventually, you won't be so afraid of it anymore. It is important to have someone present during these desensitization behaviors to prevent any accidents, and it is preferable to have a professional present.",
          "has_label": true,
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        ],
        "questionID": 11487
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I let my child exhibit Sheldon-like behavior since they show signs of autism?",
        "description": "I have a child with a tendency towards autism, who is now facing the problem of choosing a major. This child is interested in programming and also enjoys design. The majority of teachers suggest that the child should study theoretical computing, but I am worried that the independent nature of theoretical computing work will exacerbate their tendency towards loneliness. Should I let the child pursue this field of study?",
        "keywords": "Growth, developmental patterns, and child development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First, it is important to respect the child's opinions because in the future, they will need a job that they are good at and enjoy, which will bring them the greatest happiness. I understand as a parent, you also hope that your child will not only have a good job but also good social relationships. If the child is unsure, you can have them take a test to determine their innate temperament. If they have a cheerful temperament, they may be more suitable for jobs that involve interacting with people. If they have a calm temperament, they may be more suitable for jobs that involve theoretical or computational work. If they have a more adventurous temperament, they may have leadership potential. Everyone has five different types of innate temperament, it's just that the proportions vary. As long as we as parents provide sufficient psychological nourishment, every child can shine brilliantly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2906
       },
       {
        "question": "Good work may not be sustained for a long time, as it can become dull over time.",
        "description": "At the beginning of the job application, I was full of energy and made a very good first impression on others. I also felt great about myself and thought the nature of the work was decent. However, when I just started doing it, I felt very anxious and worried about whether I was doing well. But as I gradually got the hang of it and time went by, I felt unenthusiastic and thought it became boring.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, work fatigue.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~I can very much understand the emotions described by the questioner. I think this is also a struggle that many working people face. This process of going from anticipation to nervousness and then to familiarity doesn't just happen in work, it can happen in many things. Because we cannot always maintain a perfect level of enthusiasm and motivation towards something, the same goes for work. We will always have days where we are used to the current work mode. Not all jobs can bring us a sense of freshness every day. But we can try to find motivation for ourselves, such as giving ourselves regular rewards, feeling the self-worth that comes from achieving results, and so on. On the other hand, during our spare time from work, let's not forget to enrich our lives and make work just a part of life, not everything.",
          "has_label": true,
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        ],
        "questionID": 9474
       },
       {
        "question": "The girl I like has been acting distant recently. She said she is timid. What should I do?",
        "description": "I have a good conversation with the girl I like, we have been on two dates. The chatting and atmosphere before, during, and after the dates were great. However, a week after the second date, she started becoming a bit distant. We chat less on WeChat, and she didn't directly agree to go on another date. The atmosphere has been low for about two weeks. Yesterday, I opened up and asked her why our recent contact has been fading. Her reply was as follows: She said she doesn't lack a sense of security, but she always feels pretty good being alone and is capable of enjoying herself. However, she thinks being in a relationship is easily controlling, so she is hesitant. Sometimes she wonders if it would be better not to harm others and is unsure if she can really accept someone. She feels that I am sincere in our interactions, which makes her scared. She is a very timid person \u2013 as soon as things get serious, she becomes hesitant. Teachers, please give me advice on what to do. Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security, love management, liking",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, @From your description, I can understand that the girl you like is in an avoidant state when it comes to building intimate relationships with others. There can be many reasons for this avoidance, but from her explanation, it does seem like it's not your fault. In the book \"Trap of Personality,\" the concept of emotional deprivation is mentioned. People with this defect have low expectations of others and believe that they are lonely, with no one truly capable of loving them. They may initially feel a flutter of attraction but quickly dismiss the other person. Perhaps the reasons the girl gave were just a cover-up, and emotional deprivation may be the real reason for her rejection. Based on the reasons the girl provided, I think she is someone who is open-minded or craves freedom, yet is afraid of being tied down and taking on responsibilities. This applies even to romantic relationships. It often implies that our daily routines will change because of another person. Being together as partners often requires spending time to maintain the relationship, and there may be occasional disagreements. Emotional fluctuations may also become more significant, for example, during the sweet phase of being in love, happiness bubbles up, but sometimes it can also delay tasks. Getting angry and arguing can also disturb oneself, and one must learn how to communicate and coexist. In fact, friendships also require maintenance, but romantic relationships are more intimate and require investment of time. At the same time, possessiveness, security, personal space, and other issues exist within romantic relationships. <<Is the purpose of your question to know how to change the girl's mindset and accept being with you? I think you could try the following: 1. The girl may be someone who values personal space and personal life very much. Which girl wouldn't want a partner who is serious about emotions? Perhaps your seriousness makes her retreat, probably due to self-issues because you highly value this relationship and her, which might make her fear your possessiveness. You can communicate with the girl about each other's ideas of a rational partner. If your ideal intimate relationship is similar to the girl's, your compatibility will make both of you more confident in getting along and being in a romantic relationship. 2. Don't be impatient. If you really like her, show your patience. Use actions to dispel her doubts. Let her know that while the concerns she has about being in a relationship may indeed happen, it will also bring many wonderful experiences. Intimate relationships are also a learning process. In the process of dating, through getting along, compromising, and accommodating each other, a stable state can be reached. Isn't that how life is? Encourage her to take this step with you. If she's really not ready for a romantic relationship, then don't force it! I hope my answer can help you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the person asking the question. Seeing your words is like meeting face to face. Each of us may have uncertainties when entering new relationships, and the other person may be concerned that this relationship will become a constraint for her.\u3010The girl I like became distant on our second meeting\u3011From the process of your interaction with her, it seems that she may not have no interest in you. However, she started to become distant from the second meeting, which made you feel a discrepancy. \"I don't lack a sense of security, but I always feel good about myself and can enjoy being alone. However, being in a relationship makes it easy to be controlled, so I hesitate. Sometimes I think, maybe it's better not to cause trouble for others, I'm not sure if I can accept someone else. When she interacts with me, she feels that I am sincere, and that scares her.\" This avoidance of relationships may stem from concerns that entering a romantic relationship will disrupt her existing life order and experiences. In a romantic relationship, time and energy need to be allocated to maintain the relationship, and being together all the time is a disruption to her personal independence. She also worries that she may not be a good partner. So, all these thoughts combined make her hesitant, and her \"coldness\" towards you is the manifestation of this hesitation.\u3010If you want to continue, you need to give her more time\u3011Her resistance to romantic relationships stems from her own uncertainties and worries about not being able to fulfill responsibilities. So, if you can confirm that she does have feelings for you, why not lower your expectations a bit and give each other a longer period of time to get to know each other and dispel concerns. In relationships, someone always needs to take that first step. If you are truly sure of your feelings, then helping the person you like overcome their hesitations about future relationships is an important step in establishing a sense of security and confidence in love. I believe that you have shown her your determination and love, and she may have the courage to take that step for you. Of course, if you personally feel that you cannot accept such a prolonged wait, or if you feel that the other person is constantly unable to enter a certain state during the waiting process, then giving up is also a timely step to cut losses. Although meeting someone you like is not easy, you shouldn't keep running on a road with no end in sight. Best wishes, a little mushroom hoping for a gentle world and giving herself ample time to grow.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation, I'll try to see if we can figure things out together. Whether or not you accept a girl's reasons to continue the relationship depends on how much courage you have to handle the possibility of being deceived or betrayed. Let's take an extreme example: if Jack Ma, when he first started his business, talked to you about his dreams and asked you to invest, what would your choice be? It's the same in romantic relationships. However, if it's a scam from the beginning, that's not within the scope of this discussion. How can you tell whether the other person is genuinely refusing or there's another hidden reason? It's impossible to determine accurately! Because both the probability of being wrong or right is 50%. In romantic and interpersonal relationships, we can never know the other person's true thoughts with 100% certainty, but we can be 100% sure of our own true thoughts. How do you determine if you have fallen in love with someone? How do you differentiate between having a fondness for someone and genuine feelings? How do you handle rejection from the other person? How do you express your refusal to them?... These are all questions that can be self-clarified. The clearer you are about your true motivations, the more certain you will be when faced with events. How do you deal with past emotional hurts? I suspect your hesitation stems from having a strong liking for the other person, but past emotional hurts have made you afraid to try again. If that's the case, I strongly recommend finding a trusted counselor to explore your views on love and marriage. This is also related to your own growth process, family influences, and your parents' marital status. Exploring these areas can help clarify your \"capacity for love\". Our capacity needs constant refinement and improvement through love. Being hurt in the past makes us worry or fear losing again, but as you delve into counseling, you will find that your ability to face \"loss\" will also change. As you become increasingly capable of love, you will also gain clarity on the kind of love you desire... Congratulations!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It actually depends on the questioner, what do you think? Do you want to continue developing with her? If she says she's hesitant, can you be braver and firm in your thoughts? The girl has expressed some rejection, but it's hard to tell whether it's a polite refusal or she's genuinely afraid of romance. So the only thing that can be confirmed now is your thoughts and attitude. If you think she's great and don't want to give up on her, you can definitely try again. If you can't meet up for now, you can chat and share daily life, and then try to make plans after some time has passed. After all, you don't have much to lose, right? If the other party doesn't verbally reject you and asks you not to bother her anymore, it's also not a bad thing to temporarily maintain a normal friendship. Of course, this should be based on your comfort level. If you feel that your efforts are not being reciprocated and you don't get a definite response from the other person, you will feel distressed. Maybe you're not suitable for this kind of interaction. Perhaps you can jokingly tell the other person that you're not afraid of her causing trouble, you're afraid that she won't cause trouble for you. Tell her to take it slow, it's okay, no need to force yourself into a relationship. With a relaxed and comfortable mindset, don't pressure each other, maybe things will take a turn for the better. Building a relationship slowly also means building trust. If the other person lacks a sense of security, they will gradually be moved by you and keep in touch with you. If they are truly not interested in you, they will reply less and less, and will not go on dates with you anymore, and then you'll understand. Just respect the other person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. I can truly feel your emotions right now, and I sincerely hope that my words can help you. After reading your description, I am happy that you have the courage to raise questions and find ways to solve them. This is really great because we can only solve problems by identifying them. The girl said, \"I don't lack a sense of security, I just feel that I can be fine on my own. There is no need for an additional boyfriend and a romantic relationship.\" She is afraid of harming others and is unsure if she can accept someone else. The girl is a bit timid and afraid of your sincerity, afraid of being serious. She feels that she is fine on her own and can have fun alone, and feels that being in a romantic relationship means being controlled. Actually, this kind of thinking is quite common for both girls and boys. Just like when I asked a male friend of mine why he doesn't date, I couldn't refute his answer. He said, \"I like playing games. Isn't it great to play games alone or with roommates? Why do I have to have a girlfriend and argue with her?\" Although this kind of thinking cannot experience the beauty of love, it also reflects that many people enjoy a solitary life and are afraid of disturbance. My suggestion is to learn to show vulnerability. Show the girl that you need her, and let her see her value in your life. As for being unsure if she can accept someone else, I think it is necessary to give each other time and space, but be patient during this process and maintain contact. Alternatively, you can discuss whether to try a \"few days as a couple\" experience, where you spend a few days living as a couple to see if it suits you. In relationships, sometimes it seems that we really need skills, but it is actually about having a heart, sincerity, thoughtfulness, and patience. I hope she can see your efforts. Wishing you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, your current dilemma is that the girl you like is afraid that being in a relationship with you will disrupt her current stable and independent life. How should you proceed? First, understand her concerns. She has clearly expressed that she believes being in a relationship will restrict her freedom and disrupt her single life. It can be seen that she does have feelings for you, as she has gone on two dates with you. However, her level of affection may not be as deep as \"cannot live without you.\" So, you need to make her understand that being in a relationship doesn't mean sacrificing freedom. Your presence is a form of protection and companionship for her. The life of being in a relationship can also be comfortable and wonderful. Second, give her time to experience your love and grow accustomed to your presence. Show her care and concern, but don't make her feel burdened. While getting closer to her, respect her feelings. Don't rush to define the relationship or make her feel pressured. Continue to be by her side and let her get used to your presence. When her impression of you deepens, it will be easier to enter into a romantic relationship. I wish you the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I can sense that you are hesitant and unsure. Let's take a look at the issue you are facing. You met a girl whom you had a good conversation with, and you thought things were progressing well. However, she suddenly became distant. You were not satisfied with ending things like this without an explanation, so you candidly asked her for the reason. She also candidly expressed her thoughts. It turned out that she didn't have any issues with you but had her own personal reasons for wanting to retreat. Therefore, you feel uncertain about what to do. Regarding this matter, there are two options: either continue or walk away. For you, giving up right now feels a bit unsatisfactory because meeting someone with whom you can connect is not easy. Therefore, you are unwilling to let go. However, if you choose to continue, you don't know if you can eventually make her accept you or if it will end up being a waste of time. I don't know what choice you will make, but there is a method you can consider. Before starting something, think about the worst possible outcome. If you can accept that worst outcome, then go ahead and start. If you cannot accept it, then evaluate the situation and see if you can handle the risks involved. Additionally, I want to remind you that we shouldn't have the notion that we can change others. What we can do is influence others through our actions and personal growth. Whether or not they develop in the direction we expect is unpredictable. No one can mold another person into the exact image they desire, like a gardener trimming a bush. I hope this can be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think the girl has been single for a while and has become accustomed to being independent, so she feels that being alone is good. The current dilemma is like knowing that she should start dating, but she has a lot of concerns about being in a relationship, and she is in a state of both wanting and not wanting. So what she needs is time. If you really like the girl, give her some time so that she understands that being in a relationship with you will not affect her personal space. You should even try to make her feel that being together with you is better than being alone, but of course you need to strike a balance. Good luck to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6354
       },
       {
        "question": "When faced with oppression from people close to you, constantly shedding tears, how can one overcome it?",
        "description": "Being suppressed by important figures such as the boss, boyfriend, or family can create a sense of worthlessness and inadequacy. It causes a great deal of emotional pain, leading to immense internal suffering and an overwhelming feeling of sadness, as if being torn apart. The desire to leave the company and distance oneself from those who suppress can be strong. Although not opposed to receiving advice, it becomes intolerable when it is unreasonable and leads to arguments and emotional distress. There is a strong desire to slack off at work and increase social interactions since being unappreciated. However, accepting these thoughts and feeling at peace with them is difficult and leads to profound sadness, potential difficulty in coping, and even depression.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Before answering, give me a hug! I see that you often suffer from oppression and criticism from close people, which causes you pain. It shows that deep down, you long for their approval and praise. But why do we need constant validation and praise from others? Dr. Chapman, a famous American psychologist, found in his years of psychological research that in all psychological games, there are three roles: persecutor, savior, and victim, and everyone constantly switches between these three roles. The person in the victim role often appears very aggrieved and pained, but in reality, they receive a lot without giving much in return. Although the other person may seem selfish and indifferent, resembling a persecutor, they actually bear a lot of responsibility and give a lot. You can try to see if you unconsciously put yourself in the position of the weak and the victim in relationships. Common clues include feeling helpless, weak, vulnerable, and pitiful, often feeling lonely and helpless, perceiving others as selfish and indifferent or untrustworthy and capable of harming you, avoiding or relying on others when faced with issues while resisting others' demands and suggestions, often abandoning tasks or having a good start but not following through, often longing to go back to childhood or the past, imagining a carefree and worry-free state... So, by catering to their ideas and making ourselves so unbearable, we are actually using self-harming behaviors to make the other person feel guilty. However, this method may not always be effective and may instead cause us more pain, even leading to depression. It may be helpful to replace ourselves with the perspective of a strong person, objectively view others' evaluations, face our own strengths and weaknesses, and strengthen our inner selves in order to better face ourselves and the real world. When hearing oppression from others: Do not see it as their evaluation of you. Sometimes when expressing opinions about specific events, people may mistakenly associate the event with the person. We need to judge whether what they say is only about that particular event, whether it is due to our failure to take responsibility, or whether it is a difference in concepts and ideas between us. In any case, do not see it as an evaluation of you. Lowering self-evaluation can lead to feelings of depression and low self-esteem, causing painful thoughts. Selective listening: In the current educational environment, many people have experienced oppressive communication. Therefore, when communicating, it is inevitable to continue the communication methods they have experienced before. So we need to determine the underlying perspective of the oppression. What does the other person want to express? Does he really deny everything about you? Or is he just dissatisfied with a certain event or action? If the other person is verbally abusive, it is their problem, their pain. Even the people closest to us have a partial and subjective understanding of us. When accepting criticism, selectively consider the viewpoints that you think are correct and beneficial to your growth. If you feel that it doesn't reflect the actual situation, you can ignore their opinions. Continuously arguing and explaining will only worsen the relationship. Harsh words can be beneficial. The surrounding language cannot be changed, so change your own perspective. You can turn these words into motivation to move forward. Growth is not smooth sailing, but we can become stronger because of these words. When faced with doubt, give yourself positive mental suggestions like, \"I am capable of doing well! Next time, I will prove myself!\" Be calm when accepting different opinions. Be aware of your own patterns of interaction with others. Don't punish yourself for others' mistakes and hinder your own growth. Try to communicate your feelings and thoughts with others, so that they can understand better ways to communicate with you. Only by making ourselves stronger and having a comprehensive and objective understanding of ourselves, can we avoid using words as weapons to harm ourselves and others. I hope this answer is helpful to you! Wishing you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I saw that you are feeling very sad and upset because of the suppression from important people in your life, so here's a big hug for you. We all care about how others perceive us, especially those who are important to us, such as our parents, friends, partners, colleagues, bosses, etc. When we hear negative evaluations from them, it's easy for us to get hurt and internalize those evaluations, leading to self-deprecation and lack of confidence. First, let's give a hug to that little girl inside who has been hurt. She feels so helpless, sad, and upset. Secondly, let's think about why you feel sad and upset. The reason why we care about their evaluations is because we want to receive their recognition and praise. When we don't get that satisfaction, we easily get hurt. You care a lot about the evaluations from your boss and your boyfriend's family because you want their recognition. You want to prove your worthiness in their eyes. Based on the analysis above, here are my suggestions: 1) First, understand that the suppression and claims of incompetence from your boss and your boyfriend's family are not the reality. These evaluations are only based on their own perspectives, and they only see certain aspects of you, not your entirety. Moreover, there are definitely shining points about you as well. When you feel very sad, try to focus more on those shining points. 2) When we encounter such situations, arguing and cold war are not the best solutions. They will escalate conflicts and confirm their beliefs. When you hear them say those things, first adjust your own emotions, and then express your inner feelings to them. You can say something like, \"When I hear you evaluate me like this, I feel really sad and hurt. I want to receive your recognition and praise. Maybe I haven't done well enough in certain behaviors, but I hope you can point them out to me, and I will make improvements.\" 3) Additionally, if you feel unappreciated and start doing things according to their standards, it is actually a form of negative resistance. This is not beneficial to you, and it will only make their influence on you stronger. You will find yourself losing your own identity and being controlled by others completely. Your mood will also worsen. So, I hope you don't use this negative approach to deal with the problem, but rather find a positive way to solve it. When you solve these problems, I believe your mood will improve significantly. Alright, that's the end of my answer. I hope it helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 333
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it really that troublesome for me to go through all the efforts for a year but still have a high probability of failing the postgraduate entrance examination?",
        "description": "I am a senior this year, and it is highly likely that I will not be able to pass the postgraduate entrance exam. I know how much I lack compared to others, so I plan to study for another year. I am currently studying at home. Although I know it would be more efficient to study at school, I am causing trouble for my roommate in the dormitory (because I turn over in my sleep) and she cannot sleep. I feel very guilty and also can't sleep myself (mentally exhausted + feeling wronged + stressed + guilty). I have mentioned many times before that I can't control myself from turning over, but the response I get is cold violence. Every time, she deliberately ignores me, probably because I constantly express my guilt about turning over. Another roommate who has a good relationship with her posted something sarcastic about me on social media (probably cursing at me). So, I came back home. My mom said I am stupid and that I brought this upon myself and should not have let them bother me. It's troublesome and there are many issues at home. I think she is right. In order to resist many temptations, I moved to an empty house to live in. I bought a desk and brought all my study materials with me. My mom helped me pack everything. However, my studies this year have not been going well. My mom said that if I can't pass the exam, I shouldn't tell so many people that I want to take the postgraduate entrance exam. It's troublesome for others and it costs a lot of money, but if I still can't pass, it would be very embarrassing. Isn't failure normal? I wanted to go to the library to study and apply for a bus card, but my mom said I have too many things going on.",
        "keywords": "behavior, pleasing others, confused, lazy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see your helplessness and tenacity, and my concern for you is less than the inspiring feeling of being happy for your resilience. There is a saying that both parents are toxic and harmful. They control and manipulate your thoughts and actions under the guise of doing it for your own good and love for you. They unload their anxieties, worries, and fears onto you without thinking, in order to relieve their own pressure. They criticize, deny, doubt, and lack encouragement, support, and unconditional love, which lowers your sense of existence, value, worth, and self-esteem. You clearly recognize the interference and influence of your mother's irrational arguments and express it clearly and insightfully. Your self-awareness prevents you from being caught up in it but leads to deep self-blame and inferiority. I applaud you for that. Firstly, accept the current situation and take responsibility for changing it. Differentiate yourself from your mother and don't let her anxious emotions affect you. Feel the sense of sadness and frustration she brings, then try to understand her. After all, you can vent your stress and negative emotions to her. Your mother is also worried, exhausted by supporting and laboring for various aspects of your life. On the other hand, her venting is also an unintentional mistake. There is an Oedipus complex that mentally kills parents. Do not accept their denial, criticism, doubt, and many flaws transposed onto the children. We have to form our own independent personalities and strive for ourselves, not to learn from them, not to continue their unfinished lives. You can write down your feelings and thoughts, and release your emotions. Both those who succeed and fail in the postgraduate entrance exam exist in my circle. Life is a process of exploration, always pursuing self-fulfillment. Taking responsibility for the consequences is a sign of growth and maturity. Everyone pays attention to themselves and has no psychological energy to focus on others. When your mother says others care about the embarrassment of your postgraduate entrance exam, it is just her own concern, others do not have the time to pay attention. Each person has a lot of personal matters to attend to. Three things: God's matter, one's own matter, and other people's matter. Focus on doing our own thing. Another three things: past matters, present matters, and future matters. Let's focus on what we are doing at the moment. Brave face life, embrace failure, fall down, succeed, and use our lives to create life. We are all facing the scorching sun, born to face death. Practice mindfulness meditation, exercise, read more, and give yourself more bonus points. Don't blame yourself and others too harshly, don't have absolute demands on yourself and others, don't make sweeping judgments about people or things, don't overly worry about things, and don't overthink about the future because the scenarios you worry about excessively have never happened. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. I can sense your distress, helplessness, and worries, and I hope my response can offer you some assistance. The way I see it, you are a very kind person who considers the feelings of others and takes your mother's advice into consideration. Because of this, you feel guilty, blame yourself, and doubt yourself. Yes, sometimes we need to consider the feelings of others, but at the same time, we also need to take care of our own feelings and find a balance between the two. We should neither intentionally attack others nor oppress ourselves, or even attack ourselves. What we need to do is accept, accept ourselves, and also accept the other person. Your mother is right, that is just her personality, and she doesn't want to change, no one can change her. So we accept her, that's just the way she is. This way, when she behaves in a certain way, we won't oppose her, and we can save more energy to do what we need to do. Now you have a separate room for studying, which is great. It seems like this is the best way you have found that can help isolate many factors that hinder your studying. Since you've made this decision, you should make an effort and not worry too much. Focus on your studies, adhere to your plan, value the process, and don't obsess over the outcome. Because you can only control the process, the outcome actually has some uncertain factors. If you keep worrying about whether you will pass or not, it won't help your studying very much. Instead, it will drain your energy, make you feel exhausted, and prevent you from entering a good state for studying. Stay confident, follow your plan, study diligently, keep the learning process firmly in your hands, and work hard. If you do your best, you won't have any regrets! Stay strong, and take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. 1. Sleep is the most relaxing state for people, it is unconscious. It is difficult to excessively demand or restrain the sleep state because it is being overly strict on oneself. 2. Regarding others' accusations about your sleep state, do you really think it is your responsibility to bear? Don't you think there are actually many ways to solve this problem, but your classmates have chosen a very strict approach, and you have accepted their strictness. Is this attitude limited to only them or is it the same with other people as well? You can think about it and it can help sort out your interpersonal relationships! 3. You are preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination, and the pressure itself is already huge. Have you arranged for appropriate relaxation and activities? If you only have stress without understanding and empathy for your own situation, it will be really exhausting, becoming more and more tiring. I hope you can find a balanced and relaxing way of life and get through this important period of time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think you should separate these two things. Not being able to pass the postgraduate entrance examination is just your speculation. Go and take the exam first, finish it, and then we'll see. It may not be like what you imagine. Even if you don't pass, it doesn't prove anything. One failure? Failure is normal. No one is without failures. How many times did Edison fail before inventing the light bulb? Probably thousands of times. If he found it troublesome, we might not even have electric lights now. Moreover, even if you fail, it doesn't mean you didn't try, it's just that the result is not what you imagined. It has nothing to do with your worth as a person. The postgraduate entrance examination itself is difficult, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. Relax, take it easy, and the result may be better. That's the only thing you can do. You may be under too much pressure. If you're very troubled, you can talk to a counselor. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! First, here's a big hug for you~ Let's take a look at your problem: You feel like there's a high probability of not passing the postgraduate entrance exam in December, mainly because of your roommate's issue and having to go back home. OP, don't blame yourself too much for this matter. Every postgraduate student is under a lot of pressure, and getting enough good sleep is crucial for having sufficient energy. You mentioned that your roommate is being emotionally abusive towards you because of this situation. I think this really affects your mood, and you must be feeling really uncomfortable as well. However, this is not a valid reason for you to think of yourself as troublesome. There are some things we can't control. In such situations, finding a solution is the best way forward. OP, don't feel inferior or troubled just because your roommate treats you differently. When your mom scolds you for being stupid and having a lot of issues, and you feel like you've spent a lot of money and connections but still can't pass, try to think from a different perspective. Instead of thinking that you have too many issues, think about why your mom has such thoughts. It's not that you have too many problems, but rather you rely on your parents for financial support. And when they provide the money but don't see the expected return, they vent their dissatisfaction through blaming you. It's common to have a second or even third attempt at the postgraduate entrance exam. OP, don't burden yourself too much. If you have a strong belief, then strive to take the exam and believe that you will succeed. Here are some suggestions for you: Maintain a positive mindset. If you have decided to take the exam again and will still need financial support from your parents during this period, considering your current situation, you will likely hear more hurtful words from them in the coming year. At this time, having a good mindset is crucial. Believe in yourself, learn to ignore their words, stay firm in your beliefs, and don't question yourself because of others' opinions. Find suitable ways to relieve stress. During your second attempt, there will still be pressure from your studies and your parents. You need to learn how to release that pressure in a suitable way. Start each day of your preparation with a positive and optimistic mindset. Maintain sufficient sleep. During your preparation period, getting enough sleep is crucial. It will give you better energy for studying and also help you alleviate stress. The above is just my personal opinion, I hope it can help you. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for the invitation. Based on your description, it seems like you always need to satisfy others completely in whatever you do. You want to satisfy your mom and your roommate as well. You need to understand that it is impossible to make everyone 100% satisfied because there are factors beyond your control, such as moving while sleeping, something you cannot control once you are asleep. Some of the troubles caused to your mom, like spending money or owing someone a favor, are responsibilities that your mom should naturally bear. If your mom complains, it is her own problem and something she needs to work on. Well, that's all I have to say. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on the information you provided, I hope my answer can be helpful to you. First of all, as a mother, you have your own life and there should be boundaries. Parents should no longer dominate your life, nor should they control or restrict you. A mother's complaints about life stem from a sense of powerlessness and the need for external validation. She desires to have allies in confronting your father, but this is actually childish behavior, indicating a failure to grow up. No matter how you handle the situation, there will always be aspects that are not appropriate. Helping your mother attack your father or helping your father attack your mother will not solve the root cause. In the end, they are a married couple, and you are their daughter... Do not be anyone's garbage bin. Emotions accumulate little by little, so learn to say no. It is not a bad thing to reject certain things. You also have your own life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Looking back on your life, have you ever fought for yourself? - From the beginning, when I saw your question, I voluntarily assumed that you are a person with low self-esteem. When I saw you say, \"Isn't failure normal?\" a possibly impolite idiom came to my mind, which is \"a salted fish.\" - I saw three things in total: 1. Taking the postgraduate exam. 2. Getting along with your mother. 3. Getting along with your roommate. I don't know if you chose to take the postgraduate exam because it is your goal, or because you don't know what to do after graduation, so you decide to take it. There are thousands of people taking the postgraduate exam every year. How many people understand why they want to take it? Is it for a degree or to enrich their lives? If you have decided to take the postgraduate exam, you should study hard, choose a suitable major, and work hard. This will require you to devote your time, energy, and money, just like a certain investment with certainty. You invest your time, energy, and money, and as long as you study well, you will definitely succeed in the end. Everyone who takes the postgraduate exam is the same. It's not an easy thing in itself. If it were simple, there wouldn't be so many people working so hard to take the exam. This is not something that can be left to chance. - As for your parents, they have all gone through hardships. Those who have suffered know that the process is not important, only the result is the truth. Without results, all the hardships you have endured are in vain. Regarding your parents, if you want to prove yourself, then just show them the results. If you can't show results, are they not allowed to say anything? So, have you ever proved yourself to your parents? Have you proved that you are not a troublesome person? - Getting along with a roommate is determined by personality. True good friends, even if you pick your feet in front of them, they won't really dislike you. You and your roommate are just not truly good friends. You are being extremely careful, but the more careful you are, the easier it is to make mistakes. In fact, you don't have to. People who don't get along in life don't have to accommodate each other. You have paid the same tuition and accommodation fees to live together, why should you have to accommodate others? Because you are too easy to bully? Change your mindset, if you can't get along with them, just move somewhere else, instead of thinking that you are a person who causes trouble to others. Have you ever thought from a different perspective? Isn't it troublesome to be a person who can be easily awakened by being turned over while sleeping? What did you do? Why do you always think it's your fault? - Others' opinions are their own attitudes, don't deny yourself. If you want to take the postgraduate exam, work hard; if you don't want to, find a job. As for your parents, they just like to nag, don't take it to heart, just show them the results. If you can't show results, then prepare to be nagged all the time. As for others, just follow the rules and laws, focus on your own things, no matter what others do, it's just them causing trouble for you. Fight for yourself. - Lastly, keep up the good work. (From my personal perspective, these things are not considered troublesome, they fall under the normal range. When you truly encounter troubles, that's when it's troublesome.) Above all, I hope this is helpful.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 823
       },
       {
        "question": "In terms of salary, the promise made initially was not fulfilled. Should I be honest with my boss about it?",
        "description": "Should we be completely open and honest? Originally, the basic salary was said to be 2500, but now it's 2000. And we are expected to accept a 7-day emotional recovery without any compensation, which was not mentioned when we were recruited.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. In a world with rules, following those rules may make relationships simpler. From your description, it can be seen that you are dissatisfied with your boss not providing the promised compensation, but you are hesitant about whether to communicate with the boss to obtain what you deserve. You can first ask the experienced employees about their situations, whether they have experienced similar things, and what suggestions they have. Also, inquire about the boss's usual demeanor and style of work \u2013 whether they are amiable or authoritative, whether they separate personal matters from business matters, or if they value personal relationships. These pieces of information are for reference only. If you communicate rashly, it may make the boss unhappy. After consulting people who can help you, make your decision and consider the pros and cons of speaking up. Expressing your thoughts might make the boss pay attention to the issue and compensate you as you deserve, appreciating your spirit of raising concerns. On the other hand, the boss may feel disappointed with your behavior or find excuses to maintain the current arrangements. Even if they give you the proper compensation, they might still have some resentment, thinking that you challenged their authority. Not expressing yourself may cause feelings of injustice and make you feel that your efforts are not valued. It feels frustrating when you have something important to say but remain silent. Over time, this incident might affect your work attitude, causing negligence or negative evaluations of the boss's qualities and character. Fighting for what you deserve is respecting the efforts you have made. Don't be afraid of problems arising, nor fear the consequences of your actions. As long as your behavior is reasonable, there is nothing that should be compromised. You can communicate with your boss in a tactful manner, even if not face to face. Sending an email or using other forms of contact can help make your feelings known. Relationships between bosses and employees, as well as companies and staff, and even our relationship with ourselves, might be seen differently. But what is important is to realize our own value and strive for the rewards we deserve. Business and work may prioritize efficiency more, so it may be easier to adapt by being decisive and straightforward. So be brave and fight for your interests. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19861
       },
       {
        "question": "I am the first, my girlfriend told me it was her first time, but it wasn't?",
        "description": "Everything is my first time. I also wanted my partner to be my first time. I asked her, and she said besides her first kiss with someone else, everything else is her first time. Then we shared a room and I was very nervous. After we started, I realized she wasn't very tight and of course there was no bleeding. I believed everything she said, including that she was a virgin. But then she didn't seem to feel any pain. I thought I couldn't satisfy her, so I searched a lot of information. I thought if she was a virgin, there should be no bleeding or pain the first time. It left a shadow on me. I kept researching and wondered if it was because I was not good enough. Later, I gathered the courage to ask her, and she admitted that she was not a virgin. I asked her how many boyfriends she had before, and she said she had one before me. I asked how many times they had sex, and she said they did it twice, both times in one night. After that, she realized the guy was a scumbag, so they didn't do it anymore. I still believe her, but I always feel like it's too loose and she doesn't seem to be in pain. They only did it twice, so how is this possible? Sometimes, I lose my erection halfway because I feel like she's not in pain, and it has had a big impact on me. She seems like an experienced person, while I know nothing. She naturally takes the initiative. What should I do? I don't want to leave her.",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual behavior, virginity complex",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello on Sunday night! Your concern, in a certain perspective, is completely understandable because, as you said, you have reserved every first for the person you care most about. Let's try to have a calm conversation and see if we can find some inspiration and help. While understanding ourselves, let me ask you, are we also equally persistent in other aspects? Everyone cares about different things, right? What may be extremely important to one person may not be so important to another person. Can you accept this? Of course, from the entire process of communication with your girlfriend, she was ultimately able to be honest with you, wasn't she? Now, the most crucial thing might be two aspects. On one hand, it is about how to accept the current reality. Going back to what was mentioned earlier, you linked the first time and love together, and your girlfriend also cannot say that she doesn't care about this matter at all. If she didn't care about your relationship at all, why would she finally be honest? Perhaps she is afraid that telling the truth will harm this relationship. Wouldn't that mean that the scumbag wins? On the other hand, it is the issue of your psychological barrier. We need to untangle this problem ourselves. This concern still needs to be further discussed with your girlfriend. As for the specifics, it depends on the development of the relationship and the level of acceptance from both parties. Looking at it from a different perspective, if you really break up with your current girlfriend because of this, won't the next girlfriend also face the same issue of you not being the first? I hope this provides some inspiration and help. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I really have trauma now, and I care a lot about the first time. Don't tell me I don't love her enough or anything like that. If you end up being with her in the future and you haven't experienced what it's like, will you regret it? I am quite disciplined with myself, so I keep everything for the first time, and I have given her all my firsts, only to realize that she has deceived me. And every night, I can think of all these things, I feel very isolated. I'm very conflicted, I am a traditional person, I keep everything for the first time, and it's not unreasonable to expect others to do the same for the first time. The problem is that she lied to me, and it's not just once.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13311
       },
       {
        "question": "Just started working and have poor coping skills. What should I do?",
        "description": "Just starting work, the job is relatively easy. I am a teacher and also a homeroom teacher. I have 12 regular classes per week, plus morning and evening self-study, which may add up to about 20 classes. However, I feel very anxious and under a lot of pressure. When I lie down, I think about what I haven't finished yet. Having to give public lessons and mentorship classes also annoys me. Even during my student days, I often felt this way. Just a small thing would make me feel anxious and irritated. I would procrastinate by playing games until I had no choice but to face it. How can I relieve my stress? My partner says that my work is already considered easy, but when I come home, I still feel lethargic and exhausted. I feel like I have poor coping skills. Just managing the class, preparing lessons, being observed by other teachers, and grading papers, all these things make me feel like I can't hold on any longer.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, career management, work pressure.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Being able to feel the desire to do a good job and at the same time make oneself relaxed and happy. When feeling overwhelmed and anxious, you can ask the part that feels annoyed and anxious (scan your body up and down) and try to communicate with it: What do you want? Instead of resisting and fighting against it. Try accepting this situation first. You can also seek help from professionals to adjust this pattern, which may be more effective.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10419
       },
       {
        "question": "Female, if you both like and feel a bit repulsed by someone, does that mean there is a psychological problem?",
        "description": "I am a girl, and I went on a date with my boyfriend today. When we held hands, my mind went blank and I felt extremely happy~ He even secretly bought me a flower. But there is always a moment when I have a psychological rejection towards him, even feeling troublesome and wanting to end this relationship. I am deeply touched when he treats me well, it's so contradictory... I truly feel that there's something wrong with my mental state.",
        "keywords": "Love, Love Management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Female, having both love and some aversion towards someone, does it indicate psychological issues? Hello, OP, first of all, I want to express my understanding and sympathy for your situation, and I want to give you a big hug and let you feel the warmth of the world. I'm glad that you have encountered a boy who treats you well; after all, meeting someone is fate, and staying together is even more difficult, so it needs to be cherished. So, the problem you need to solve now is that you feel there is something wrong with your mind. You mentioned that there are moments when you feel a sense of aversion towards him, feeling troublesome, and wanting to end such a relationship. But at the same time, you are moved by his kindness. This is a conflicting mindset. I am not very clear about what specific moments you feel aversion towards him. Is it something you cannot accept, something you cannot tolerate, or some improper behavior of his? Regardless of the situation, if you really want to continue with him, it's best to communicate with him clearly about your aversion towards him. Maybe after speaking out, you can work together to improve. In fact, there will be many problems in a relationship. However, if you accumulate these small problems without resolving them, they will eventually build up to a certain extent and burst out as a great force. That kind of energy is resentment and the greatest sadness towards your relationship. Therefore, if this boy himself does not have any particularly unlikable aspects, what you need to do is to communicate with him. Why do you feel aversion towards his behavior? Or maybe he did something wrong, or maybe it's just a point in your own psychology that you can't overcome. Only by speaking it out and letting him and everyone help you, can your relationship have a chance to continue. Lingering, conflicting mindset is very detrimental to this relationship. When you hesitate and vacillate, wanting to move forward but also stepping back, such a awkward relationship is the most difficult to continue. My suggestion is that you can talk to your friends about what specific point you feel aversion towards and see if they can help you. Or you can read books and find answers yourself. If you think your psychological problem is very serious, you can consult with a psychologist. You can also divert your attention to something else to give yourself temporary relief. Wishing you happiness and joy, OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I understand your feelings very well. Sending you a hug. I'm not quite sure about your ages, your identities, or how long you have known each other, but if this is your first time in a romantic relationship, it is normal to have conflicting emotions like this. Liking someone because they touched you, because they bought you a flower, these actions make you feel acknowledged and cared for. Just now, I wanted to remind you that being touched doesn't necessarily mean love, there is a difference between the two. Many people can make you feel touched, but it doesn't mean that the person who touches you loves you. Feeling hesitant is also normal because when you first enter an intimate relationship, people tend to have some insecurities. And these insecurities are related to whether you know him well enough and trust him. How well do you think you know him? Do you trust him a lot? Speaking in a long term sense, do you believe he can care for you forever and give you a good future? Maybe you can't confidently answer these questions yet, so you might feel hesitant and resistant. In this situation, I think you can continue to spend time with him and get to know each other more. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#Want to end this relationship#You don't really want to develop this first relationship. So there will always be a moment when you have a psychological aversion to him, even feeling troublesome. Once the other person behaves unsatisfactorily, you will feel a sense of rejection. This is not what your inner self truly needs. It is normal to feel moved when someone treats you well. But this is not a reason to continue being together and cannot convince yourself to be with him. I also want to ask, is the development of this relationship something you actively want or is it passive?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Everyone will have a moment of disgust towards someone, even their best friend or closest parents. But that's just human nature. We ourselves are the same. It's all about whether your liking for them can make you tolerate or overlook their imperfections and whether the happiness they bring you outweighs the troubles. If the answer is yes to both, then this relationship is beneficial for you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5562
       },
       {
        "question": "Does it mean that if you don't have a formal job, it's not considered work?",
        "description": "It feels like my parents really want me to have a stable job. Isn't the purpose of working to earn money?",
        "keywords": "Growth, work, and learning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugging the title owner because there is not much information in your description, so I speculate, is it because you have your own way of making money, but this method is different from the work understood by your parents, so they don\u2019t understand it very well, or they hope that you can find a more stable job? Actually, your idea is correct. Work is to make money, and your parents' idea is also correct because in their era, only a stable job could mean a stable income. Maybe in this information-rich internet era, there are many jobs that don't require working from nine to five every day, but can still bring considerable income. But from your parents' perspective, it is difficult for them to understand this. At the same time, they will worry that your job is not stable and there may be no income at any time, so they will say such things. I would like to invite you to switch perspectives and try to see the care behind their nagging. Then tell them, \"I know you are suggesting this because you are worried about my future stability.\" I can also feel your concern. At the same time, explain to them the nature of the work you are currently doing that can make money, and let them know that you have grown up. Although it is different from their understanding of a \"stable\" job, you can still have income to take care of your life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Come, let me give you a hug. Your parents hope for a formal job because they want you to have a stable future. In their generation, there were only two types of jobs: ones within the system and ones outside the system. Most people worked within the system, meaning they had jobs in government institutions or state-run factories and enterprises, which were considered secure positions. In other words, they had a guaranteed income and the backing of their workplace throughout their entire life. However, with the reform of state-owned enterprises, many people lost their jobs. But they still believe that working for the government is considered having a job. I have a brother-in-law who is 20 years older than me. He works for a government department and has arranged for his son, daughter-in-law, daughter, son-in-law, nephew, and others to become civil servants. He has given them a clear path: go to university, return to their hometown, and take the civil service examination. And that's exactly what they did. State civil servants and state-owned enterprises have been undergoing reforms. But there's no doubt that being a civil servant is still considered a secure position among the older generation. The number of people taking the national civil service exam every year is proof of that. However, it's understandable if some people don't like working within the system. After all, nowadays, it seems that even a secure position is not so secure anymore. We can understand the concerns and worries of our parents. If you can prove that even if you don't have what they consider a formal job, you can still live a good life \u2013 for example, if you have a high income and a happy family \u2013 you may be able to ease some of their concerns. So, the key is for you to be strong enough on your own. You can have a good conversation with your parents, discussing your career plans and your future. The main goal is to reassure them. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, give you a hug. I understand your confusion and your parents' concerns. In the era when your parents were living, having a stable, formal job was considered the best and safest thing in society, a \"iron rice bowl\" that you didn't have to worry about. In that era, there were many social classes, and formal employment in an organization was the highest class. In a society with instability and unrest, many people lost their jobs, but having a formal job in an organization provided relatively stronger resistance to risk. It meant experiencing fewer storms and not going hungry. However, with the development of the times and changes in the economic situation, there has been a huge transformation and change in the economic structure. The ways to make money have become more diverse, and people's sources of income have become increasingly varied. Therefore, you are seeing the new changes, opportunities, and prospects that the new era has brought. With the pandemic this year, the economic situation has also changed, and some industries are not as good as before, facing closures. So, considering the current situation this year, having a job within the system is relatively stable. For parents who have been worrying about us for more than 20 years, it's already too tiring and difficult. If there is a formal job within the system, they won't have to worry about our future lives anymore, and they won't have to worry about us not finding a job and not being able to support ourselves in the future. Their sense of security in their old age will also be greatly improved. You can discuss your thoughts with your parents and communicate with them. For example, talk about your plans, whether you have found a suitable and enjoyable job, the future prospects of that job, and how you envision your future. Most importantly, what your parents need is for you to be able to support yourself and not worry about your livelihood and future. Best wishes to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4866
       },
       {
        "question": "Easily influenced by others, thinking of some negative things, how to handle coworker relationships?",
        "description": "Emotions are easily influenced by others. Even though I am busy myself, I still have to help others when they ask for it, and they may think that I am free and relaxed. When I realized this, I felt very disappointed with this colleague. How should I handle my relationship with such a colleague?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, interpersonal boundaries, colleagues, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug hug to you~ You are a kind, pure, and adorable girl who is diligent, proactive, and hardworking in your work. Your behavior and attitude in the workplace remind me of the \"Post-it Note Girl\" from the drama \"Nothing But Thirty\" - Zhong Xiaoqin. She is always being \"bossed around\" by others, even if she is busy and overwhelmed herself, she will rush to help others. She takes on the daily tasks of almost all her colleagues, which delays her own work. She never refuses others and always responds to their requests. Until Zhong Xiaoyang encourages her to \"learn to say no\". \"A person who doesn't know how to refuse. Everything you accept is cheap! (This little brother makes sense!)\" When she bravely says \"no! It's not on my way, you can do it yourself\" to her colleague, although her tone may be a bit unnatural, she has already taken the first step. You are easily influenced by others, afraid of being disliked by your colleagues, afraid of losing value if you don't do things, and afraid of conflicts with others. Have you learned from the drama that after Zhong Xiaoqin refused, her colleagues did not resent her? Others will not force you to do things for them without compensation. You don't have to worry about the impact on your relationship with them. \"You are very busy, but your colleagues think you are free, so they ask you for help, and you feel disappointed with them.\" Have you made it clear to them that you are very busy? Tell them that you are not free at all. If you cannot directly tell them (still worried about the relationship with your colleagues), you can also gently and simply tell them how much work you still have. Learning to say no requires practice and exercise multiple times. If your colleagues know that you are busy but still ask you for help, you must explicitly tell them that you are busy. In this way, how much \"face\" does it take for them to ask you to do things? You need to tell yourself in your heart, \"helping you is goodwill, not helping you is just doing my job.\" How can you refuse others nicely? In terms of dealing with relationships, are you disappointed in your colleagues because you feel that they intentionally give you things to do while they slack off? Or is it because your colleagues did not realize that you are very busy and you feel disappointed? Of course, your colleague may be a bit selfish, lazy, or have difficulty putting themselves in others' shoes, but it is also possible that they are genuinely anxious and have not noticed that you are busy or they are accustomed to seeking help. They ask for your help because you are outstanding and always willing to assist others, so you are the first person they think of when they need help. If you were not busy yourself, you would feel the sense of being needed, right? Now, how to handle your relationship with that colleague depends on your relationship with them and the interests involved in the workplace, and so on. Some suggestions: \"If I have time, I would help you with this and that, but currently, I have something important... that is not yet completed, and I have to finish it immediately. I'm sorry, I can't help you right now. If you want to..., you can do...\" (Just saying, not doing). Wishing you a successful career! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12219
       },
       {
        "question": "My mother has recently been diagnosed with malignancy. How can we alleviate her preoperative anxiety?",
        "description": "Last week, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Faced with this fact, she has been unwilling to accept it and has been extremely pessimistic. She has not yet undergone further diagnosis and treatment. She constantly talks about how long she has left to live and resists treatment. She is an emotionally uncontrollable and pessimistic person who always thinks that bad things will turn worse. She has an attachment personality and tendencies toward depression. Since she needs to undergo preoperative examinations to confirm the stage of the tumor and treatment plan, she has insomnia every night. She always gets up to walk and cry alone around four or five in the morning. I am really worried about her condition, but because I am pregnant, I cannot accompany her all night. Our family members are trying to convince her to have proactive treatment, but she resists it in her heart and has no hope of recovery. I am really concerned. How can we alleviate her preoperative anxiety?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, family members' health.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: You are asking on behalf of your mother. If you want your mother's emotional state to be good, it may be necessary for her to seek psychological counseling herself. It may be helpful for her surgery and also relieve her physical condition. But if you are inquiring, it may be necessary to adjust your own emotions. It is understandable that you are overly worried about your mother, but you are carrying a baby after all, and too much stress can also affect the baby's development. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. Last week, your mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Faced with this fact, she has been unwilling to accept it and is extremely pessimistic. She has not yet undergone further diagnosis and treatment, and constantly talks about how she may not live long. Moreover, she is resistant to treatment and constantly wants to give up. She is a person with uncontrollable emotions and pessimistic outlook. (\"Tumors\" and the location of tumor growth, from the perspective of \"psychological healing of psychosomatic diseases,\" also have reasons. If tumors occur in the breasts, uterus, and other parts of women, it means that the patient has been attacking these parts inwardly for a long time. This leads to poor blood circulation, toxins unable to be eliminated properly, and weakened immune system. Your mother has been negative and pessimistic for a long time, unable to release the pressure outside, all directed towards herself, which in psychology is called \"internal projection,\" causing long-term pathological changes. Therefore, it is important for her to open up her mood. She should be allowed to release her stress, complain, or even scold others, as long as it helps her.) 2. Bad things always come to mind, with an attachment personality and a tendency towards depression. Because she needs to undergo preoperative examinations to confirm the stage of the tumor and the treatment plan, she has insomnia every night and always gets up to walk and cry between four and five in the morning. You are really worried about her state. (Hmm, she has stress at the moment, but the pressure she has put on herself has increased many times over. Since she has an attachment personality, let the people she depends on accompany her more, understand her, and temporarily alleviate some of her stress. If she can receive psychological counseling and constantly release her emotions, it is absolutely possible to cure a benign tumor.) 3. However, because you are pregnant, you cannot stay with her all night. The family is trying to persuade her to actively seek treatment, but she resists treatment and has a hopeless attitude towards recovery, which makes you really worried. How can her preoperative anxiety be relieved? (She must have some psychological barriers. If that barrier is not broken, she will get hung up on certain things. As a daughter, it is understandable that you feel sorry for your mother. But now you need to take care of yourself because you are about to become a mother too. Your other family members will take good care of your mother. It is best to have a dedicated person to take care of her, as her current state is prone to extremes.) Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope your mother recovers physically and mentally soon! If you have any confusion, please feel free to message me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Yiye, you are a very filial daughter. Your mother's illness not only worries about her physical health but also her mental health, which is a very correct approach. Mental health must focus on the person being treated. If only the people around are anxious, the therapist cannot do much, and the ultimate effect can be imagined. Your mother's condition needs the efforts of people around her, and more importantly, it needs to stimulate her positivity. 1. As for you: you mentioned that she is a person who cannot control her emotions and is pessimistic. When something bad happens, she always thinks of worse situations. She has an attachment personality and tends to be depressed. Your description shows that you have a considerable knowledge of psychology and have made certain judgments about your mother. I suggest you take a look at the knowledge of rehabilitation psychology, which is about the psychological process of patients. It will help you better understand your mother's psychology. You are also pregnant, so while worrying about your mother, do not neglect your own mental health. 2. As for family members: when other relatives and friends visit your mother, they can say more positive and encouraging words and share similar experiences from other provinces. This can help alleviate your mother's current fear and worry about the disease. You, your father, and other relatives and friends are your mother's solid support at the moment. You need to make her believe that she is not alone in facing the disease. 3. As for doctors: after all, doctors have a better understanding of the condition, and ordinary people who do not understand relevant knowledge are more likely to have unfounded thoughts. After detailed communication with the doctor, it is necessary to abandon unnecessary emotions, recognize reality, and have the courage and rationality to face the disease. Although your mother is emotional, you can communicate with her that being emotional is not beneficial to treatment. Believe in doctors, believe in science, cooperate well with treatment, and it is the right thing to do now. Instead of thinking about what can't be done, think about what can be done, actively cooperate with the doctor, and maintain a pleasant mood, which is beneficial to recovery. 4. As for your mother herself: you can first mobilize the above-mentioned forces to work on her thoughts. Having the support of family members and the treatment of doctors will greatly alleviate her anxious mentality. You can also directly take her for psychological counseling. Face-to-face communication is more conducive for the therapist to understand her fears and solve the problem better. I wish your mother a speedy recovery, and I wish you a healthy baby. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010Encourage Her to Do Her Best\u3011Dear friend: Good afternoon! I saw your message and felt regretful. You must love your mother very much because I can sense your anxiety and worry, fearing that she might give up on herself. It's natural for family members to worry when something happens to their loved ones. Let's try to understand why your mother is having such a negative reaction. Generally, people who are facing death or suffering from a terminal illness go through several stages of expression, and your mother is currently in the first stage, \"denial\". On one hand, it's because of the fear of death, and on the other hand, death came too suddenly. Her negative attitude stems from her fear of having hope because the bigger the hope, the bigger the disappointment. She is afraid of failing in her treatment and doesn't know how to face it. It's alright, I think we can still help her manage her emotions. \u3010First\u3011Release the fear and let her acknowledge it so that the fear in her heart can be released. Who wouldn't be afraid in the face of death? Because we all have a reverence for death. Let her understand that if she fears death, then she must truly love life! \u3010Second\u3011Apologize to Regret it is regrettable to discover a malignant tumor, as it deviates from our pursuit of good health. We can express our regrets by saying, \"I'm sorry, please forgive me.\" \u3010Third\u3011Appreciate the Effort Let your mother know that we have already tried every possible way to live a healthy life. Every day, we take care of our bodies, make an effort to go to bed and wake up early, and strive for the best health. We have done our best! Let her appreciate herself! Appreciate her body, which has already done its best! \u3010Fourth\u3011Let Her Be the Best Version of Herself Nobody can guarantee that everything will be fine after being cured, or that health will definitely be restored. But if we don't seek treatment, we won't be healthy for sure. Treatment is the opportunity that God has given us. It is also the chance for us to make one last effort for our own lives. We cannot expect everything to go perfectly or fight against fate, but at least we have tried. Even if we ultimately fail and have to leave, we can say to ourselves, \"I have done my best, no regrets!\" When we are sick, having family members accompany and support us is already providing confidence and strength to the patient! I wish you and your family well! Your friend: Audrey.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand your feelings and give you a hug~ Overwhelming worries about surgery can cause insomnia and hormonal imbalances, ultimately leading to weakened immune system, disrupted menstrual cycles, and even surgery rescheduling. Such \"worries\" are not worth it. It is normal to feel slight anxiety due to lack of understanding or even fear of surgery. I suggest you talk more with your mom and encourage her to communicate with the doctor. Through proper communication with the doctor, any doubts about the surgery can be answered correctly, instead of relying on hearsay and scaring oneself. You can talk to your mom from a more positive perspective, telling her about the ideal situation and help her imagine the scene of a smooth recovery after the surgery, which may alleviate her anxiety. Furthermore, with the advancing medical technology, it is highly possible for the surgery to go smoothly. Engaging in appropriate exercise, taking baths, and other relaxing activities can also help maintain a pleasant mood, which can be beneficial for the surgery. In summary, her anxiety mostly stems from a lack of understanding and excessive pessimism. You can guide her more and provide her with more hope and a sense of security. It is also possible to tell some well-intentioned lies to help her feel more at ease~ Wishing the surgery to go smoothly and your aunt's speedy recovery~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm sorry to hear this unfortunate news. My suggestion to you is to find some time to calm down and have a heartfelt conversation with your mother. Regarding her condition, most patients experience preoperative anxiety due to the following reasons: 1. Worrying about the low success rate of the surgery and being afraid of the consequences of surgical failure. 2. Not wanting to burden the family with excessive financial pressure, thinking that they are already old or the illness is too complicated. 3. Feeling hopeless about their own future, carrying a heavy psychological burden, and enduring both physical and mental pain caused by the illness, which makes it difficult for them to persevere and wish for a quick relief. Based on your conversation with your mother, you can understand her situation. First, if you want to persuade your mother to undergo the surgery, you must give her hope for a successful outcome. Even if the surgery does not go smoothly, the result won't be particularly disastrous. You must offer her hope to make her willing to undergo the surgery. Second, since you mentioned that your mother tends to be depressed and may sometimes find life dull, if possible, I suggest you take her out more often to relax and experience the pleasures of life. Let her have hope and tell her that she can enjoy many wonderful things in life. At the same time, respect her decision and ask about her preferences in life. Use her interests to encourage her. You can give examples to illustrate that many people live happily after successful surgeries. You can also share some inspiring stories of battling illness, such as a patient who once had a terminal illness. The doctors said there was no cure, but he persisted in exercising every day, running regularly. Eventually, a miracle happened, and he recovered from his illness. This story even made it to the news. You can also use personal examples around you to tell her that illness is not so scary and that the recovery from illness is somewhat related to one's mindset. The patient I mentioned earlier had a positive attitude, forgot about having a terminal illness, exercised diligently every day, and ultimately achieved a successful recovery. Lastly, you must spend more time with her, making her feel that she is not a burden and reducing her sense of guilt. I hope my suggestions will be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! 1\u20e3\ufe0f1. You are pregnant and need to take care of yourself. 2. Understand your concerns about your mother. 3. You understand psychology well and understand your mother's personality and usual emotions. 2\u20e3\ufe0f Life is unpredictable, happiness and pain coexist, but people prefer to accept happiness and avoid pain, which is normal. 3\u20e3\ufe0f Body relaxation method: 1. Place your hand on your chest and say, \"I'm sorry, I didn't take good care of you.\" 2. \"Please forgive me for not taking good care of you.\" 3. \"Thank you for reminding me in this way.\" 4. \"I love you, and from now on, I will be with you.\" 4\u20e3\ufe0f Rebuilding thought process: 1. The psychological reason for breast problems is refusing to provide oneself with nourishment. Putting others above oneself, excessive care for others, excessive protection of others, and excessive tolerance of others. 2. New mindset: I am important, I have value, I now nourish myself with love and joy, I allow others to be free and become the person they want to be, we are all safe and free. I wish your mother a speedy recovery.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, nice to meet you. I feel really sorry for your current situation and I want to give you a big hug. It must have been a huge shock for you when your mother was diagnosed with a malignant tumor, but you quickly adjusted and sought help. I have to commend you for being so strong. Now, let's analyze the situation based on what I read and I hope you can follow my train of thought. The situation started when your mother went to the hospital and was diagnosed with a malignant tumor, although it was not mentioned whether it is acute. At the same time, you mentioned that you are pregnant, so congratulations on becoming a mother soon. I hope you won't worry too much because your family is comforting you and we will all try to help you find solutions. Based on this, I have a few suggestions, although the actual situation may be different from what I imagine. You can consider them. 1. Your mother is in a pessimistic mood, and it is not uncommon for emotions to affect the progression of the disease. Therefore, we need to give her a goal or hope. For example, you and her grandchild are important to her, so increase her desire to undergo surgery. 2. Explain the specific steps to her and let her understand the process of the surgery to alleviate the scary image of a malignant tumor just by hearing the words. 3. I hope you take good care of yourself. You can't become ill due to worries, which would make your mother feel worse. Finally, I wish your mother a successful surgery. I hope you can always keep smiling in the future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12138
       },
       {
        "question": "It's easy to overthink and become impulsive, ignoring advice. How to manage emotions effectively?",
        "description": "Every time I argue with my girlfriend, I easily become overwhelmed and start thinking of the worst possible outcome. Even when she tries to pacify me, I can't calm down and it often leads to even bigger problems. I can't seem to control my emotions.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Recognizing that one's emotions can be managed and controlled is important, and deliberately redirecting them through various methods can help develop the habit of managing emotions over time. From your description, it's evident that you feel frustrated and anxious because you struggle to control your emotions during conflicts with your girlfriend. When conflicts arise, try to calm yourself down first. You can try taking deep breaths or counting numbers in your mind or out loud, turning any hurtful things you want to say into numerical descriptions. Learn to express your thoughts. Are you able to express your thoughts during arguments? How do you feel? What triggers your anger? What words or actions from the other person hurt you? How does she handle your emotions to help you calm down quickly? Release and express all your emotions instead of staying silent or acting impulsively. Learn to think rationally and analyze events, whether in romantic relationships or other interpersonal relationships. Perhaps you love and care about your girlfriend a lot, which is why you invest your emotions and mental energy in her. You can definitely express how important she is to you, which might be the underlying reason behind your anger. We don't get angry with strangers because we have no emotional connection with them. When you're contemplating and worrying about something, try to look at it from multiple angles. If there's a worst-case scenario, what would the best outcome be? How can you achieve a good result? When your girlfriend comforts you, it shows that she cares and is concerned about you. After you've calmed down, do you express gratitude and appreciation for her actions? One reason you might be easily swept away by emotions is because you struggle to view the problem comprehensively. When you and your girlfriend argue, focus on resolving the issue and conflict, not attacking your girlfriend. I believe that with your own efforts and attempts, you will gradually become more emotionally stable. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, it's great that you can recognize the issue of your poor emotional management skills and actively seek help here. It is essential to be aware of your problems and actively seek ways to solve them in order to ultimately find a solution. You mentioned that you tend to get worked up and imagine the worst possible outcomes when you argue with your girlfriend. Have there been any times when you were able to control your emotions to some extent? Were there moments when you felt relatively less irritable? What were you doing or thinking during those times? Can you try to record the process of your arguments with your girlfriend? Think about why you were arguing, was it because of something one of you said? What specific words triggered your emotional outburst? How did you respond to your girlfriend? And how did you gradually calm down in the end? Try to record the entire process in as much detail as possible. Take your time, observe in your future life, and then, when you are calm, analyze the process. It will be helpful for you. These are just some suggestions, and I hope they can be of assistance to you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17194
       },
       {
        "question": "Working for ten years, day in and day out, without passion, always thinking about changing the way of life?",
        "description": "Recently, I've been constantly thinking about resigning and quitting this job that I've been doing for ten years. It feels monotonous and I want to try out many different things and change my way of life. However, I am conflicted because if I don't work, I have responsibilities to take care of my elderly parents and young children, and I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it.",
        "keywords": "Career, midlife crisis, work fatigue.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It seems that you are experiencing career burnout and want to try a different lifestyle, but you are pressured by the demands of life and fear losing a stable income, so you are in a constant state of dilemma. Perhaps in front of you, there are two paths: maintain your current job or resign and try a new job. If you choose to maintain your current job, you may need to rediscover what this job has brought you in the past ten years and understand the reasons why you are now tired of it. If it's just because it's monotonous, you can try to make it less monotonous. For example, you can request to transfer to a different position within the same company or strive for promotion to a higher level of management. You can also use your spare time at work to learn new knowledge in your areas of interest and see if you can apply it to your job, bringing about a new change in your accustomed work mode. Another option is to give yourself a longer vacation to relax and rejuvenate. Perhaps after a period of adjustment, returning to your job will bring a different feeling. If you choose to resign, you mentioned that you need to take care of your family and the pressure of life, so quitting impulsively is not advisable. If you really want to resign, it is recommended to plan ahead, think about what kind of job you want to do, and start sending out resumes or attending interviews. Once a new job is confirmed, you can resign without delay. If you want to have a more flexible type of work, such as starting a business or freelancing, it is also important to conduct research in advance, consider the current economic situation, determine what you like, and make a decision after comprehensive consideration. Of course, the best job is one that combines your interests, as this can bring higher enthusiasm and make you happier. You may want to communicate with yourself more, find your strengths and characteristics, and determine what kind of things make you feel happy. If these happy things can also bring you income, then believe in yourself, and nothing is impossible. I hope my answer can provide you with some inspiration.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, I hope the following answers can be helpful to you. It's great and takes a lot of courage to have the idea of trying many things and wanting to change your lifestyle after working monotonously for ten years! Thumbs up to you! If you are not married yet, I would encourage you to go for it without a second thought. Now, with the responsibility of having older parents and young children, it is indeed a big responsibility and not a \"impulsive\" stage. Therefore, my suggestion is: 1. Make a plan before making a change. After working for ten years, you must have rich life experience. Spend a weekend seriously listing the things you want to do next, ranking them in order of importance. Find something you want to do and are good at, and see if there is a possibility of turning it into work or even a career. If possible, make a plan on how to achieve it. There's no need to rush to switch right away. If the goal is a bit far away, then take it step by step closer to it. 2. Spend some time every day on something you enjoy, even if it's just 30 minutes. The current job may be monotonous, but don't forget the time we live in. Outside of work, have you made good use of your time? Sometimes, changing your lifestyle doesn't necessarily have to be done by immediately changing your job. You can start with the small things in daily life. Find what you enjoy doing in point 1, or something that makes you feel meaningful when doing it, and spend at least 30 minutes on it every day. Stick to it, and you will find that life starts to change, and work will be more motivated! Because that thing fills you with energy! 3. Regarding dealing with the confusion of life, I recommend these two books: (1) \"The Cafe at the End of the World\": a self-help book in psychology, especially suitable for reading when feeling lost in life. After I finished reading it, I strongly recommend that everyone who wants to learn time management should read this book first. For me, it is the theoretical guide to time management. (2) \"Visualizing Time\": This book not only helps us understand ourselves but also provides a step-by-step method of time allocation. It is equivalent to practical guidance for time management. At the same time, it is very helpful for us to write down plans for our lives. I hope the above will be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4877
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old college male, feeling upset from enduring grievances, feeling annoyed.",
        "description": "There was an event that needed to borrow a classroom. I went to borrow the classroom through the proper procedures. However, when the event was about to start today, someone suddenly told me that the classroom was also borrowed by members of the Student Union. Moreover, I heard that there were some problems with the equipment in that classroom, so I switched to another classroom. Then the people in our association said that I was being timid. I mentioned that the equipment was faulty, but they kept trying to prove themselves right. They kept talking about this matter in our group chat of several department heads. Although the event was not ultimately affected, I found it annoying. I think the event is most important, so why not focus on organizing the event first and deal with other matters later, instead of constantly proving oneself in the large group.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, conflicts, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, when you needed to borrow a classroom for an event, you encountered some grievances. For certain reasons, you swallowed those grievances, so now you're feeling very agitated and want to vent. The reason why you feel agitated is because you clearly did your job well. You borrowed a classroom and when you heard that there were issues with the equipment, you went to exchange it for another classroom. However, that classroom was already borrowed by someone from the student union. This is an objective factor that cannot be changed. As a result, the members of your association not only didn't recognize your efforts, but also said that you were weak. I believe at this time you must feel really disappointed. Clearly, you are wholeheartedly dedicated to the association, but your efforts are not being acknowledged. You're inexplicably upset. However, it is right for you to choose not to argue with them. Because sometimes there is no point arguing about something, it's better to avoid getting red-faced and straining relationships than arguing about it. Not all people are reasonable and can communicate seriously. When faced with those who cannot be communicated with, the best way is to stay silent. But our emotions also need an outlet. When you feel wronged, you can confide in your trusted family and friends, or engage in some sports activities to release your emotions. Don't keep it all inside. As long as we appropriately release our emotions, our mood will quickly improve. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3741
       },
       {
        "question": "How do I deal with my mom who always compares me to others and annoys me?",
        "description": "I hate my mother. She always compares me with others, which makes me feel very uncomfortable. I don't know why I have this tendency to compare myself with others. It's all my fault. The most common thing she says is, \"Look at how well other people are doing in their studies!\" At home, no matter what I do, it is never enough for her. I feel rebellious. I have had thoughts of suicide since I was 11 years old. Sometimes, I even think about killing her first and then committing suicide. But she will always show care for me the next day. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First, my mom has no choice, this kind of blood relationship cannot be changed. Secondly, it is possible but very difficult to change my mom's mentality of comparing with others and her way of talking, unless she realizes the harm it brings to me and actively changes. Then, can the feeling caused by my mom's comparing be changed? This depends entirely on me. As long as I am willing and find a method, it can be changed. Push back and ask her in the same way, can you be like that parent who accompanies their child with homework every day and takes them to the science museum or zoo every month? Whether she listens or not is up to her, maybe she doesn't care whether I listen or not, she just satisfies her own cravings. If I listen and find that other classmates are indeed better than me in certain aspects, I can ask them for advice and learn from them, to make up for my weaknesses, and then tell my mom, I also think that person is better than me, and I am already planning to ask them for advice, so don't worry!... There are definitely more ways for me to improve my mood and feelings. Maybe right now, my thoughts are filled with \"she's so annoying, why is she so annoying!\" and I don't have the spare energy to think about how to improve. Relax with the activities I enjoy, relieve the irritability and make some space in my mind. I will definitely find the most suitable way to deal with my mom and make myself better!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7047
       },
       {
        "question": "As a high school student, I always have a feeling of not knowing who I am. What should I do?",
        "description": "High school student. Over the past five years, I haven't been very sure about who I really am. I am good at observing the connection between people's emotions, facial expressions, and experiences. And I always put myself into the shoes of a movie character or someone else. My words, expressions, and even walking style would match those of the person I am imitating. I turn every action of the person I imitate into my own behavioral standard. I have no idea how I should be. And when I can't achieve it, I start to self-doubt and feel worthless. I feel like I can become anyone, except for myself. I can't feel my own existence. This makes me very painful because it's like acting for a lifetime, never being \"real\". My emotions are also unpredictable, one moment I can laugh heartily, and the next moment I can be silent and quiet like a statue. These are genuine emotions, without any deliberate intention. Others describe me as \"sometimes like an old man, sometimes like a little kid.\" I am confused about myself, I have studied others thoroughly but know nothing about myself.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Congratulations, you have the question of who you are, which shows that you have begun the process of separating from others. When we were very young, we were in a symbiotic state with our mothers. Infants would feel that their mother is me and I am my mother, we are one person. They wouldn't have the concept of imitation. You become aware of yourself imitating when you realize that you and the person you are imitating are independent individuals. The existence of \"me\" is what allows me to imitate others. Your confusion may lie in whether there should be a very clear boundary between me and others, whether I should be very different from others, and whether I need to be unique in order to distinguish myself from others and see my own existence. Indeed, everyone has their own characteristics, but it cannot be denied that we also have some commonalities as humans. Self does not necessarily mean being unique. Even if you make the same choices as others, it is still your choice. Ninety percent of what a person experiences in their lives is learned, and imitation is a very common learning behavior. Your experiences, personality, and environment are all different from his, so it is difficult for you to replicate his path. The person you are imitating must have something that you desire, perhaps his achievements, his relationships with others, or certain qualities he possesses. You desire these things, but you are not sure how he acquired them or what conditions are needed. So you use the methods you are capable of to approach your goal and imitate his every word and action. You can become aware of what you envy in him, and if you were to become that person, what would make you happiest? What conditions are needed to achieve this, and what conditions does he have that I do not? Under the current conditions I have, are there other ways to achieve my goals? Growth is a marathon-like, long-term process, not a fixed standard. In different stages, you will find that the self also changes, and you will not always stay at a certain point in the river of time. Your body will change, your environment will change, your needs will also change. Personality is only a relatively stable thing, and in fact, there are countless subtle differences. I am thirty years old this year, and I am still exploring internally and still searching for the answer to who I am. I believe that even when I am eighty years old, I will still be moving forward on this path until the day my life ends. Although we may not have the same experiences and feelings, we are all on the path of searching for ourselves. I hope this solitary lamp can provide you with some company.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20961
       },
       {
        "question": "Why does looking at certain issues from an emotional perspective make the original small problems seem bigger?",
        "description": "Why does viewing certain issues through an emotional lens make small problems seem bigger? For example, someone else's words may be triggering, but if we approach it rationally, we should remain calm. However, if we view it emotionally, we may make incorrect judgments.",
        "keywords": "Growth, development patterns, work and study, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. It's nice to virtually meet you. I think emotions and rationality are like a pair of enemies who can never get along. When you want to lose weight but feel extremely hungry, rationality comes forward and says, \"Don't eat, you are already overweight. If you want to slim down, you should resist.\" But emotions tell you, \"It's okay to eat a little, you should be kind to yourself, being overweight is not a big problem.\" So, the question is, do you eat or not? Both rationality and emotions have their benefits and drawbacks, it mainly depends on how we balance the relationship between them. For example, when encountering touching events, if you are too rational, it can make others perceive you as cold-hearted. So, how do we handle the relationship between emotions and rationality well? 1) Use your brain to think through problems instead of being impulsive. Rationality and emotions are often just one thought apart. When you need self-restraint, rationality should step forward. If you need to express your emotions, then it should be more emotional. Neither overreact nor be impulsive. If you encounter a serious matter that requires a rational approach, and you overlook this and only focus on your own emotions, it won't work. Thus, rationality and emotions should be used in the appropriate context to truly become a rational person. 2) Whether overly rational or overly emotional, don't blame yourself. Some people may wonder why they are always so rational/emotional. They feel their behavior is abnormal, leading to a self-disgust. However, this is completely unnecessary. If you are a rational person, it doesn't mean you are cold-hearted; to some extent, you are more composed and calm than others. If you are an emotional person, it simply means you are more sensitive, more prone to catching feelings, and it is not a big deal. Therefore, change is possible, but try to accept and understand the problems that exist within your emotions. 3) In the balance between rationality and emotions, what suits you best is the ideal choice. For example, if you are a male but constantly live in an emotional state, easily shedding tears in a sentimental manner, it can easily lead others to form strange opinions or give you strange looks. So, be true to yourself and act according to your own characteristics. Acting against your own nature is the strangest behavior. What suits you best is the most ideal choice, whether it's emotions or rationality.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, indeed, the existence of the same problem itself is neutral. If we look at it from different perspectives and react differently, the results will also be different. However, is the difference completely distinguished by \"sensibility\" and \"rationality\"? Let's take the example provided by the questioner as an example. When we hear words from others that may stimulate ourselves, if we approach it from a sensibility perspective, we may make \"wrong judgments\". The so-called wrong judgment from sensibility may refer to making decisions influenced by emotions, exhibiting aggressive feedback, or venting in other ways. However, can we really \"remain calm\" by approaching it \"rationally\"? Perhaps by eliminating emotional disturbances and conducting a logical analysis of pros and cons completely, it is indeed a good strategy to solve many problems. However, in practical terms, human emotions cannot simply disappear. What appears to be calm on the surface is actually a form of control and suppression of emotions. It may help solve problems at times, but it can also lead to uncontrolled emotional outbursts due to the accumulation of emotions. Furthermore, does \"sensibility\" really only bring problems? Just as everything has two sides, in some moments it may cause \"indecisiveness\" and \"emotional interference\", but in other moments, it can also bring you important \"empathy\". The positive and pleasant emotions can also enhance the efficiency of handling events. Even fear and anxiety are signals that our inner selves generate to express certain information, which helps us better understand our needs and feelings. \"Rationality\" and \"sensibility\" are both results of a long evolution of living beings, and their essence is like two forces. How to properly utilize them, how to be aware of them in different situations, and how to balance them all determine the final outcome of events :).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 123
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old girl, feels very confused about her future and lacks motivation for no reason.",
        "description": "Starting from my first year of high school, I have been lacking motivation and feeling very insecure. I want to be recognized, so I have been forcing myself to study. As a result, my grades have improved significantly, and I always rank in the top ten of my class. However, now during the summer break, I feel extremely exhausted. I have been trying to find motivation, but as soon as I find it, it disappears. I don't know what I should do. The temporary motivation I have found now is that I can achieve my dreams. I took a test for the IELTS, and I passed the first three sections. However, my writing score is very low, only 5. I didn't meet the requirement, so I bought past test papers and some study materials and have been using them for about a month. I have a daily schedule. Today, I completely lost motivation. I can't focus at all, and I keep telling myself that I need to get into that university so I can study the subject I have always wanted. But deep down, I have no hope or motivation. I really want to cry and don't know what to do...",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, the meaning of life",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, I can understand your sense of confusion at this stage. Sometimes, the motivation to study may only be a temporary trigger that allows us to concentrate and work hard for a while, but cannot be sustained in the long run. I can tell that you are a very capable person, you understand your current situation, and you want to find a way to solve the current dilemma. So I have two small suggestions for you to consider. Relax appropriately: Sometimes we can't focus on something because our brain is already exhausted and is producing strong resistance. So at this time, we can relax appropriately and adjust our state before we engage in studying. You can write your goals in a place where you can always see them, such as sticking them in front of your study desk or the first page of a book you read every day. In short, it should be a place where you can frequently see it, reminding yourself constantly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Due to information asymmetry, I feel that something is not quite right overall. I can sense your anxiety, but let's first sort out this matter. To put it simply, we can summarize the situation as follows: the effectiveness of your efforts in studying did not meet your goals. From this perspective, we can discuss two points: 1. study plan; 2. goals. Let's start with the study plan. I see that you have made a schedule, which shows your dedication. However, when you mentioned a lack of motivation, usually it means \"I don't know why I should do this.\" So, I'm wondering if the reason for your lack of motivation is that you genuinely feel the study plan is unable to help you achieve your goals. Can we consider changing the plan? I don't know about your current study plan, and I have never paid much attention to the IELTS exam, so what I'm suggesting may not be accurate. But I'm thinking, can you look for other people's experiences? Or ask someone around you who has done well in the IELTS for advice based on your specific questions? If your financial situation allows, you could even consider paying for assistance in resolving your current issues. I believe you may feel that looking back on what you learned in elementary and middle school, the difficulty level appears much simpler compared to when you first studied it. This is because your knowledge level is now higher, so perhaps applying higher-level knowledge to help with your current situation is a worthwhile consideration. Now, regarding your goals, from your description, it seems like you only want to study that specific major at that particular school. Here, I'd like to ask whether this major is only offered at that school. Are there other schools that offer this major, but the difference in prestige between schools is not significant? Alternatively, could you consider pursuing this major at that school at the graduate level? I'm not entirely sure if this goal is an absolute must for you. If it isn't, perhaps we can set some intermediate goals before reaching this ultimate goal. Additionally, if possible, I'd like to hear why you chose this specific major at this specific school as your goal. I'd like to hear you talk about what makes this major interesting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand how you feel because I also didn't have any goals or motivation in high school, so I would often set goals for myself. Goals can be simple, from small to big, from day to week, month, or even year. For example, if I have weaknesses in a certain subject, my goal would be to improve my score in the next exam. It doesn't have to be some grand and abstract ideal. Or it could be how many questions I plan to solve or what I'll review today, those can also be small goals. Additionally, learning is about finding a balance between work and leisure. While studying, it's important to relax and not put too much pressure on yourself. If you don't have goals, you may lack motivation to study and it could be because you're putting too much pressure on yourself and your mind can't handle it. Now it's summer vacation, so you can take some time to relax. Go for a walk and listen to some soothing music. Maybe when you relax and really listen to yourself, you'll know what you truly want.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14666
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I pretend to be a loving couple with my child's father in my life now?",
        "description": "We have been together for 13 years despite our incompatible personalities, often arguing over trivial matters. Our child has been living in this discordant environment since kindergarten. Now, at 14 years old, I always try, consciously or unconsciously, to create a harmonious atmosphere when talking to his father, in order to provide him with a harmonious environment. I wonder if this is appropriate? Also, I feel that my son harbors resentment towards his father. What should I do? Lastly, is it still possible to arrange training for my son's attention skills after I recover from my illness?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, perception of marriage, marriage management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's not easy to live with someone you don't love for 13 years. First, the pretending harmony between parents. Children are very sensitive to the relationship between adults. Although you and your father pretend to be harmonious, the child can still feel it. And when the child realizes that you are pretending, they will be very hurt and feel that their parents are not genuine. Children tend to imitate adult behaviors and emotional expressions. If you disguise your true emotions, the child will also disguise their true emotions in life, pretending to be happy and ignoring their own emotions and needs. In China, many couples who don't love each other stay together for the sake of their children. This easily makes children feel fearful of marriage and it also makes children feel guilty for making their parents unhappy. It may be the best choice for two people who don't love each other to separate. However, before separating, it is important to explain to the child that the parents' choice is to seek happiness, and it is not the child's fault, and the love for the child will not diminish after the separation. The second issue is that the child hates the father. The child's hatred for the father is closely related to the mother's attitude towards the father and the father's temperament. If one spouse is in a disadvantaged position, the child will definitely help the disadvantaged one. When the child hates the father, the mother can communicate with the child to understand why they hate and what aspects they hate. The mother can praise the father's positive qualities in front of the child. The father also needs to communicate with the child more and understand and accompany the child, establishing a good parent-child relationship. The third issue is the child's attention training. The child is now in their teens, I don't know how their attention is, but it's better to start training attention earlier. You can inquire at specialized institutions. I hope my answer is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 968
       },
       {
        "question": "Now that I have advanced to high school ahead of time, I have no interest and no confidence in studying. What should I do?",
        "description": "High school entrance exams are coming up, and all my classmates around me are getting into prestigious schools, while I didn't get accepted into any top universities. I had hoped to do well in high school and have a chance, but after seeing the admission standards for this year's college entrance exams, it seems very unlikely. If my grades in physics and chemistry in ninth grade were good, I might have a chance at getting into a prestigious university. I have taken extra classes outside of school, but I haven't seen any improvement and my confidence is decreasing. Now that I am starting high school, my classmates are studying an average of 4-5 subjects a day. I'm only able to study 3 subjects a day, and I easily fall asleep in class. I want to do well in school, but I have no interest in studying. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I am fortunate to give you some advice. From your description, I can feel that you are a person who is \"striving for progress\" and has \"high self-demands\". Facing the \"failure\" in this mid-term exam, your \"confidence\" has been greatly impacted, especially when your classmates have excellent grades, which further leads to self-doubt. However, what I want to say is that your past is already behind you, and reviewing and reflecting on it will help you move forward. Next, let's analyze your thoughts one by one. The actual sequence of your first two paragraphs is: \"poor performance in physics and chemistry\", \"ineffective tutoring\", \"not getting into a better college\", and \"worrying about whether you can achieve your university goals\". In the path of learning, everyone's performance at different stages depends on \"personal experiences\", \"environment\", \"level of acceptance\", \"areas of expertise\", and so on. As for your current situation, first of all, \"the mid-term exam\" does not represent the outcome of high school grades, let alone the outcome of the college entrance exam, because every group of students and their respective teachers are different. It is not completely negated that there might be \"sparks\" when different teachers and students \"come together\". As a new high school student, facing the possible predictions of high school, we need to accept it while being anxious. Because you did your best in middle school, but the level of acceptance at that time was not maximized, this is our inner recognition of our \"learning ability\", so we should be rational and objective in the face of mid-term exam scores. In addition, high school life has not started yet, and everything is unknown and \"full of expectations\". If we only focus on the future based on the current \"high school entrance situation\", I think we need to consider: the teaching experience of your high school head teacher and subject teachers, as schools hope to cultivate more talents as time goes on. Finally, let's analyze the content of your last paragraph - studying high school content in advance but finding low acceptance. This problem you mentioned can be viewed in conjunction with what we mentioned earlier about the \"ineffectiveness of tutoring in middle school\". Based on this situation, we need to adjust: whether the current study methods are suitable for you? (In other words, under the current methods, how do you feel each time you study? What are your thoughts?) After the mid-term exam, your learning ability and other aspects will be different from before. Therefore, at this moment, think about how you can improve your results in the current learning situation, what can you do better? Regarding high school life, and even college life, what plans do you have? After considering these aspects, I believe you will have a new understanding of yourself. Do your best based on what you can achieve. Best of luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for inviting me to answer! As the saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If you are not interested in studying, you won't have the internal motivation to actively learn, and your learning will not be good, which will naturally lead to a lack of confidence in yourself. I don't know if you are not interested in studying itself or just not interested in materialism. Many people actually have a tendency to favor certain subjects, but in order to maintain their grades, they have to study even if they don't want to. Studying against your will is definitely a painful thing. Some students even have aversions to learning, but they persist for their future. If you have a tendency to favor certain subjects, it's easy, as long as you don't give up, you can make up for it. Here, I recommend a less painful method for you: establish a relationship with the textbooks and teachers of these subjects, and gradually develop an interest in them. We all know that if you like a teacher, you will enjoy his/her classes. If you like a subject, you don't need a teacher, you can understand it yourself. Therefore, building a relationship with them will yield twice the result with half the effort. But how do you build a relationship with textbooks and teachers? You just need to have a dialogue with them in your mind, sincerely think about their merits, and express your liking for them. If you have any feelings of rejection, express them in your mind and ask the textbooks and teachers to be understanding. This interaction is something you do in your own mind, with the purpose of changing your perception and emotional attitude towards them. If you are not interested in studying itself, you can introspect your psychology and see what is blocking it. If you are not aiming for top universities because you didn't enter a prestigious high school, then you can still try, just because others can't get in doesn't mean you have no hope. If you don't even try, then you definitely have no hope. The past doesn't represent the present, and the school doesn't define you. You have a desire to do well and you have just entered high school, which is a fresh start. Just because others study 4 or 5 subjects doesn't necessarily mean they study better than you studying 3 subjects. Dozing off in class doesn't mean you didn't absorb anything, you might have subconsciously absorbed some things. If you have a regular routine and develop an interest in learning, your energy will improve, you won't fall asleep in class, and things will be even better. Also, you can consider whether the lack of interest and lack of confidence only manifest in your studies? If you have a dull character and lack self-confidence, you need to solve the problem from the root. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey, how's it going? Actually, I once had a similar experience to what you're going through, but it was in high school. Let me share my perspective on the issue you mentioned about \"lack of interest.\" It's natural to have difficulty being interested in things we don't feel competent in. Just like in high school, I wasn't very good at math, so I never really had much interest in it. But don't get discouraged, because interests can be cultivated, right? And I believe you value your academic performance, which is a crucial attitude that determines your level of self-awareness and persistence in learning. Firstly, it's important to lower your expectations of yourself and allow yourself to relax a bit when studying. Only a relatively relaxed sponge can absorb water, and only a humble and open person can learn new knowledge. By lowering your expectations, you will find it easier to make progress. After studying a course, a specific topic, or a unit, you can assess your learning achievements by doing timed exercises or practice exams. This gradually develops your sense of control over your learning - a sense of mastery. During this \"hands-on\" process, you can set specific small goals in advance, such as aiming for at least a 90% on this basic exam or striving for a perfect score on this unit test... As you gradually achieve these goals and make progress bit by bit, you will start to feel proud of yourself - a sense of accomplishment. When you have a humble attitude, a sense of control over your learning, and a sense of achievement from your progress, I believe you will gradually overcome this predicament!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you! Just finished the high school entrance exam, the pressure must be very high, right? Especially during the pandemic, it may be difficult to focus on work or study. Plus, the classmates around you are especially diligent and outstanding, so your anxiety is not unfounded. However, don't push yourself too hard because of others. Everyone has their own pace, and your classmates may just be suitable for high-intensity studying, but that's not necessarily the case for you. You should know that the real competition is with yourself. Don't pay too much attention to other people's grades. The best achievement is to make progress compared to your previous self. As for schools, if you get into a prestigious high school, the resources may be slightly better, but it's not absolute. Even prestigious schools have underachieving students, and conversely, even non-prestigious schools can have excellent students. It's up to the individual to determine their performance, and the most important thing is that you want to learn. Since you want to do well, it is very likely that you can. At this critical moment, don't rush. Achievements lead to interest, so set one or two small goals for yourself every day, not too many, just suitable for you; then, when you complete these small goals, check them off. Keep doing this every day, and after a week, you will see your achievements and gain more confidence to continue persevering. Over time, you will cultivate an interest in learning. In addition, it's important to build a solid foundation for studying. This summer vacation, it's better to consolidate your knowledge from middle school, fill in any gaps, rather than rushing to preview high school textbooks. I myself didn't clarify some things in middle school and just moved on to high school knowledge, so I was always falling behind and lost interest. But later, I followed the teacher and studied the basics diligently, and I made great progress. When you don't feel like studying, take a break, clear your mind, think about what you want and how to achieve it. Once you figure it out, continue studying hard. I believe that with your abilities, as long as you steadily and consistently work during the three years of high school, you will definitely make great progress and achieve admission to an ideal university! I hope my answer is helpful to you. Wish you academic progress!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15074
       },
       {
        "question": "What can be done about anxiety and fear? How can one repair the pain caused by a broken relationship?",
        "description": "I am a female, a sophomore in college. When I was in elementary and middle school, I always had good friends to play with, and I had a trusting relationship with others and spoke freely. However, in my second year of high school, I had a falling out with my best friend for some reasons, which resulted in me not having any friends in the class. It was a painful and difficult period for me. This experience has made me cautious and anxious in interpersonal relationships. I am afraid to trust others and easily feel anxious and frightened, fearing to be hurt again. I also tend to have extreme thoughts and easily become pessimistic, looking at things from a negative perspective. The relationships with the friends I met in college are also very superficial, and I don't have any close friends. I often doubt myself and feel a sense of pity, constantly worrying about being left out and rejected by others. How can I heal the psychological pain caused by the rupture in past interpersonal relationships? How can I rebuild my confidence and sense of security in interpersonal relationships?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, friends, roommates, classmates",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, sometimes we need to show our sincerity first in order to gain the trust of others. Trust is something that is given mutually. If we are cautious with others, they will notice. I feel really sorry for you. On one hand, you want to trust others and make genuine friends, but on the other hand, you are scared to step out of your comfort zone. Even within your comfort zone, you still feel anxious about people and things outside. You can try to adjust your irrational thoughts and see things from a different perspective. Everyone has their own inherent way of thinking, and you tend to approach things from a pessimistic and negative angle. This is your characteristic, but if this way of thinking makes you feel restricted and uncomfortable, then it's time to change. When you start closing yourself off, your vision will also become narrow. It\u2019s good to focus on yourself, but when you feel helpless, doubt your self-worth, and deny your abilities and qualities, neglecting your strengths and advantages, these are all thoughts that need to be changed. When we feel that we are not worthy of attention and care, the world around us seems to have a malicious intent. But when we have a positive mindset, even in the face of difficulties, we are still willing to actively resolve and challenge them, the world and the people around us may not seem so bad. Give yourself some courage to socialize and maintain relationships, and sincerely express your value and needs in relationships. By giving your care and love to others, you will receive care and support in return. Friendships are built up gradually. Those friendships that start off superficial can become very close through serious interaction, sharing, and supporting each other through difficult times. On the other hand, even friendships that started off strong can fade due to negligence from one party or both. Both you and the relationships you are involved in are in a process of change. The past pain has already cost you a lot, and if you don't cherish the people around you who can potentially become friends, you will also miss out on a period of time in each other's lives. Approach the people you want to get to know with your sincerity and feelings, be a little brave, because you are capable of making friends, you just sealed off your heart due to some negative experiences. If you want to break free from that and rebuild intimacy in your relationships, don't be afraid of rejection, don't be afraid of being ignored. Solve problems when they arise, don't run away like you did when you were a child, because some people, once lost, will be lost forever. So, solve the problems that occur between each other, instead of thinking about giving up on each other and sacrificing the relationship. I believe that you can have friends who value you greatly, and likewise, the other person cares about and cherishes you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21738
       },
       {
        "question": "29-year-old woman, pessimistic, feels that life has no meaning.",
        "description": "Pessimistic and sensitive, growing up feeling neglected, with a sense of meaninglessness in life, unable to feel inner happiness, this has been a state that is quite distressing from childhood to adulthood. How can one make themselves a little happier in life?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods, panic helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Pessimism - having a crisis consciousness, particularly easy to see negative possibilities. Sensitivity - being cautious in observing changes in people or things, often overlooked. Growing up - valuing relationships more, caring about being seen, wanting to do better. A label is not just how others see us, but also the meaning we give it. If the meaning we give it is unhappy, then we will be unhappy. So why not call these three qualities advantages? Furthermore, I personally do not think happiness equals to being content. It's fine to not be happy, as many negative emotions actually remind us of things we need to do and express. Regret, disappointment, sadness, etc., without exception, remind us to pay attention or care. Embrace your negative emotions, and you will become \"happy,\" because it is not just sensory pleasure, but also the fulfillment and tranquility of body, mind, and soul.",
          "has_label": true,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to communicate with you here. First of all, I would like to give you a virtual hug. Your upbringing may have caused some of the problems you are experiencing now. This is something that we may not want to see. Now that you have grown up, we can make up for this deficiency in our own way. There are many beautiful things in our world, so don't give up on finding happiness. Perhaps at the moment you have not found some suitable ways to find things you enjoy. Maybe thinking more positively will make you more optimistic. If happiness does not come to you, you should take the initiative to find it! There are many ways to find happiness. For example, take up a hobby. When you truly have a hobby, you may find happiness and consolation from it. A long-term hobby is like a good friend, it inspires, encourages, and gives you peace of mind. For example, engage in appropriate exercise. Exercise stimulates the release of dopamine in our bodies, making us feel more joyful. While exercising, we rarely think about other things and focus solely on the activity, leaving behind worldly worries and unhappiness. Another example is to find like-minded friends. Like-minded friends make us happy, and in our interactions with them, we feel comfortable. They can also be a great support system when we have troubles. Perhaps it would be helpful for you to meet with a reliable therapist. Even something as simple as a chat, I believe, can have a positive impact. I hope my response is helpful to you. Best wishes!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8180
       },
       {
        "question": "Due to the pandemic, I have been staying at home for 7 months. How can I better control my emotions?",
        "description": "Due to the epidemic situation, I have been staying at home for seven months. At the beginning, my mood was quite good, but now I can't control my emotions. I can't help but get angry and feel regretful after each outburst. I also frequently experience low mood, overthinking, and I don't want to continue like this anymore.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, healing methods, and emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It is normal to have difficulty controlling emotions during the pandemic. Try not to feel stressed or anxious about it. The outbreak has affected various aspects of our lives, such as work and studies, making it difficult to face the situation as we normally would. Feeling dissatisfied with the current situation and fearful about the future can cause psychological distress, leading to overthinking and imagining negative scenarios. So, what can be done in such situations? First, it's important to adjust your mindset and maintain a regular daily routine, including regular meals and sleep. Try to avoid getting too bothered or overwhelmed by daily challenges to prevent emotional breakdowns. Secondly, set realistic goals and make a schedule for both leisure and work/study activities. Prioritize creating a relaxed and enjoyable state for yourself, while also taking care of your mental well-being. Lastly, find calming activities such as mindfulness meditation or reading books to help quiet your mind. As the pandemic gradually subsides and stabilizes, your emotions will also improve.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Staying at home for a long time can become boring, and one's mood may become low or unstable, which is a normal phenomenon. Now that the domestic epidemic is gradually stabilizing and non-epidemic areas are already able to go out, if the local situation is not serious, you can go for a walk after taking sufficient precautions. It is beneficial for relieving tension (wear a mask, wash hands when returning home, disinfect clothes with alcohol outside the house, and avoid contact with public facilities when going out, as all of these can serve as protective measures). If you still cannot go out due to the epidemic, you can exercise indoors, such as yoga or meditation, to calm yourself. You can try to contact friends through video or other means to adjust to the monotonous life. Pay attention to positive news about the domestic epidemic and gradually return to a relaxed mindset. Congratulations.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14820
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old girl, I feel like I have two personalities, one within and one in my actions.",
        "description": "I am actually a person with a bad temper. I don't like to be treated unfairly and I don't enjoy doing things that make me unhappy. Recently, I had a big fight with my boyfriend, to the point where I thought I would never see him again. But we made up in the end. I usually don't want to contact him, it's always him who initiates contact now. Honestly, I don't really want to be with him anymore, but I still maintain peace on the surface. I feel that my inner self and my actions are gradually separating, like sometimes I can be very gentle, but the next second I can be irritable over insignificant matters.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, our behavior is often an external manifestation of our brain's thinking process. As mentioned, one moment we can be gentle, and the next moment we can become irritable. One's stable temperament may be influenced by the care received in childhood. If a mother's nurturing was adequate, then one's mood may be relatively calm. However, if there were significant fluctuations, it may be related to inadequate maternal care in early childhood. It is important to follow your own inner thoughts. When your behavior conflicts with what you think, it can cause inner discomfort. If you experience significant changes in emotions, you can try training yourself through techniques such as meditation. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21614
       },
       {
        "question": "After graduating from high school, I dyed my hair and was criticized for being wasteful and not working hard.",
        "description": "After graduating from high school, I just wanted to dye my hair. At first, my parents didn't agree, but I kept talking about it for several days, so they finally allowed me to do it. My mother even watched me as I did it. However, when I came back after getting my hair dyed, she started scolding me, saying that I wasted money during the holidays and didn't do any work. I feel helpless.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner, nice to meet you. I'm not sure what your relationship with your parents is like, but there must be some issues in your communication with them. Wanting to dye your hair is something that can be understood. I think the conflict between you and your parents is not about whether or not you can dye your hair, but about whether you have done anything meaningful during this break. They say you don't work and spend money recklessly during your break. You should first reflect on whether this is true or not. Did you plan something for yourself during this break? Graduating from high school is like a signal, a feeling of growing up and being able to do what we want. We are eager to break free, unleash ourselves, and embrace the new life. But at the same time, it also means that we need to start taking responsibility for our own future. Besides studying, we cannot just focus on eating, drinking, and having fun. During this break, you need to have a plan for your future and do something meaningful, such as learning a new skill, participating in charity activities, or finding an internship to experience life. Therefore, your parents are expressing their concern for you in an inappropriate way. Try to communicate with them properly and pay attention to the way and methods of communication. I recommend a book on communication called \"Nonviolent Communication\". Both you and your parents can read it.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your narrative, what I want to ask is, if next time you want to do something you want to do, but your family is unwilling, and you don't have the economic means, how do you avoid being scolded again after doing it? Focusing only on the issue of dyeing your hair doesn't make much sense. For things like this, you can also reflect on your parents' behavior and reactions. Since you are asking such questions on this psychological platform, you can also consider this issue from the perspective of psychology. If you are interested in psychology, you can think about it from the psychoanalytic perspective, or from the behavioral cognitive perspective, or even from the hypnosis perspective, how to influence your parents' behavior. Isn't this an interesting thing? The problem ultimately needs to be solved, at least it should develop in the direction you want. Therefore, the solution is what's important. Along this line of thinking, let's conduct an experiment with your parents.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When you use the money you earn yourself to take care of your hair, the results are different, especially in times of economic difficulties. At this age, you also start to pay attention to beauty and hope to become more beautiful. However, currently, you haven't reached an agreement with your family about it, and it took a few days of persuasion before you could go and dye your hair. From this passage, you can feel their desire for money, so they don't want you to spend money recklessly. They may also not understand your desire to dye your hair. When you don't have the ability and rely on others' abilities to accomplish something, your words will carry less weight. In the future, I hope to provide for myself with my own abilities.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Child, good afternoon! The desire for beauty is inherent in everyone, including young people like you. However, there seems to be a discrepancy in your parents' understanding of this matter, causing you to feel very upset. Here, let me give you a hug. The circumstances of being born into a certain family and having certain parents are not something we can choose. We must try to accept and embrace this situation. Based on this foundation, we should continuously learn, grow, broaden our knowledge, and expand our horizons. Perhaps, from the beginning of your communication with your parents, there has been a lack of understanding between each other. The last sentence, \"I feel helpless,\" seems to imply that there has been poor communication, whether it is their lack of support for your desire to dye your hair or your insistence on doing so. You yearn for independence and individuality, and the desire for beauty is understandable. If you can combine these desires with the ability to put yourself in your parents' shoes, perhaps it would be even better. I'm not sure if you can agree with this idea. After all, you are still in the stage of studying and need financial support from your parents. During the communication process, try to focus on expressing your own feelings rather than blaming the other party, then maybe the outcome will be more desirable. You can refer to the article I wrote about nonviolent communication on my homepage for more information on this point. In addition, economic factors can indeed diminish people's happiness. By taking on more household chores and speaking kind words, you can provide significant support to your parents both in practical actions and emotionally. Remember, the world and I love you!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10183
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling like my emotions are being suppressed by something?",
        "description": "In life, emotions are suppressed. When feeling sad, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. Any emotional feelings don't feel as distinct as they used to be.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, psychological assessment",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Do you feel like your emotions are being suppressed? Humans have seven emotions: joy, anger, sadness, happiness, sorrow, fear, and surprise. A vibrant and lively life cannot be separated from sensual and beautiful emotional experiences. If one detaches from vivid sensibility and rich emotions, their life may become stiff and devoid of color. Humans are born with pure sensations. The objective world and external events evoke various feelings within a person, corresponding to different emotional experiences. Emotions need to be expressed. When the external environment doesn't allow for expression, or when individuals are reluctant to acknowledge external events, their true feelings may be repressed or isolated. At this point, it seems like individuals have lost their emotions. Okay, gradually become aware and try to express yourself, perhaps through counseling and personal growth. We are always on the journey of learning and growing. I wish you can find your true inner self soon. In that moment, you may experience a heartwarming delight. The world loves you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9469
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently, many women have been having immoral thoughts and are feeling very distressed.",
        "description": "Recently, I have been experiencing a clear sense of immorality when being around women, regardless of age, and it has been causing me great distress.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexual desire",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, it seems that there is a strong conflict between \"fantasy\" and \"morality\" within you. Speaking of \"fantasy,\" in fact, any fantasy is not wrong. Each of us has had some bad, forbidden, and immoral dark, pornographic, and violent fantasies, some of which are expressed through writing, movies, etc. These are all fine. The important thing is \"not acting upon them.\" If fantasies are turned into actions, it can lead to legal consequences and punishments. Therefore, as far as fantasies are concerned, any fantasies are our freedom, as long as we don't act upon them, there is nothing wrong. Why then do we feel such conflict within ourselves? Sigmund Freud proposed the famous personality structure of the \"superego, ego, and id.\" The superego is the internalized norms and moral standards we learn. We gradually learn what we should do, should not do, what we should think, and what we should not think through society and culture. So, when we autonomously generate some \"immoral\" thoughts, we receive punishment and criticism from the superego to suppress these immoral ideas, causing inner conflict and struggle. As long as we limit fantasies to our minds and do not turn them into actions, we can tell ourselves that there is nothing wrong with them and thereby alleviate the inner conflict. Wishing you all the best!",
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        "questionID": 21422
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       {
        "question": "What is expressive writing? How can one avoid feeling more down while writing about their emotions?",
        "description": "I used to have a habit of writing because it was my only way of venting. However, I always felt worse the more I wrote, unlike what my friends said about feeling relaxed after writing. Why is it like this? What is a more effective way of writing?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Here is a writing therapy checklist that can help you see your emotions. Look at your list as if you were a stranger, and you will find where the problems lie. Just complaining won't let us see ourselves. Write with sincerity, reflect with awakening, and seek answers with wisdom. Life organization and writing therapy checklist goals: understanding yourself, knowing yourself, discovering yourself, accepting yourself, and loving yourself. Self-portrait + self-evaluation: 1. Introduce yourself. 2. What are your interests and hobbies? How do you use them? 3. How do you make a living? Is it the way you like? If not, how do you feel and what are your plans? 4. What professions have you engaged in? Which ones do you feel confident in, and which ones do you feel inadequate in? 5. What kind of people do you like? Do you have social anxiety? 6. What kind of people do you dislike? Have you been hurt by this dislike? 7. Describe your views on money, values, life, and the world. 8. What kind of life do you long for? 9. Who or what makes you confident? What does confidence feel like? 10. Who or what makes you feel inferior? What is the biggest trauma caused by this inferiority? 11. Describe your current life situation, occupation, and self-growth. 12. What are you currently most satisfied and dissatisfied with yourself? Why? 13. Have you ever bought yourself any gifts? Why did you buy them, and how much were they worth? 14. When do you usually buy things? How much do you spend? Is it a matter of taste or emotion? 15. Do you ever feel like you have clothes in your wardrobe that you never wear? 16. Where do you feel relatively safe? At home or at work? 17. Do you prefer to be alone or in a group? 18. When do you cry? When was the last time you broke down and cried? Why? 19. What people and things have troubled you so far? 20. List the people who have influenced your life, whether they are family members or outsiders. 21. What do you think is the most precious thing you currently possess? What is the most valuable thing? 22. What is the most precious thing someone has given you, who gave it to you, and what is your attitude towards this gift? 23. Have you ever had a miscarriage? What were the reasons, how did you feel at the time, and what emotions do you have about it now? 24. Were you ever physically punished as a child? How do you feel when you think about it now, and what are your emotions towards the person who punished you? 25. How do you love yourself? 26. How do you feel when you think you don't love yourself? What is your reaction when you feel unwanted? 27. How do you love your family, partner, and friends? Can the people around you love you the way you want them to? 28. What are your standards and definitions of self-love and being loved? 29. How many true friends do you have who share similar values? What attracts you to them? 30. Do you have a nickname? Who gave it to you? Did it hurt your dignity at the time? How do you feel about others' opinions of you? 31. Have you experienced bullying, domestic violence, sexual assault, suicidal tendencies, or infidelity? Please describe the impact these traumas have on you. 32. How do you feel about your appearance, body, and mind? 33. Do you like looking in the mirror? What are your feelings about the reflection in the mirror, in selfies, and in photos taken by others? 34. Do you usually wear makeup? Do you think you look better with or without makeup? 35. Have you ever looked at your body in the mirror and felt disgusted? 36. How did you feel during puberty? 37. What movies have had a deep impact on you? Which events and characters have influenced you? 38. Do you read regularly? Which books have had a deep impact on you? Which events and characters have influenced you? 39. Would you prefer a stable job with a 9-to-5 routine or freelance work without stable income? 40. Do you have a team? What do you think makes your leadership charismatic? 41. What do you think is the bottom line for you as a woman in terms of external evaluations and your family of origin? 42. Who is the most important family member in your life? Why? 43. What valuable qualities have you gained from your family of origin? What do you dislike the most about your family of origin? 44. Please ask 10-15 people around you who can influence your emotions and provide you with evaluations and suggestions. 45. Describe your parents' way of getting along. Who is in charge at home and who loves themselves more? Who loves the other more? 46. How do your parents solve family problems or difficulties? 47. Has your marriage or relationship received blessings from people around you, especially your family? 48. Evaluate your mother. What makes you comfortable and uncomfortable about her? 49. Evaluate your father. What makes you comfortable and uncomfortable about him? 50. Did you see your parents having sexual intercourse when you were a child? How did you feel at that time? Did you have any negative emotions towards your mother? 51. How is your relationship with your father? Are you now close to your father, such as hugging or leaning on him? How does your father evaluate your partner? What is his attitude? 52. What are your parents' expectations for your marriage? 53. What have you learned from your parents' marriage, and what are you afraid of? 54. Describe the way your grandparents get along. Who is in charge at home and who loves themselves more? Who loves the other more? How do they solve problems when they arise? If the four elderly people have passed away, ask your parents about them. 55. Do you think your father loves your mother? How does he express his love? Have you ever felt jealous? 56. Describe the way your grandparents get along. Who is in charge at home and who loves themselves more? Who loves the other more? How do they solve problems when they arise? If the four elderly people have passed away, ask your parents about them. 57. How do you view your parents' marriage and your current love or marriage? 58. Evaluate the influence your father has on your choice of partner. 59. Who is more popular with the opposite sex, your father or mother? What is your attitude towards it? 60. Which is more important, romantic love or familial love? Which one would you choose and why? Your emotions and their sources. 61. What is the biggest physical and mental injury you have suffered from childhood to now? How did you overcome this pain? 62. What do you fear the most? What makes you feel uneasy when you think about it, whether it's a person or a thing? 63. Do you have any obsessive-compulsive disorder? In what aspect? When did it develop? What is the reason? 64. What is your attitude towards death? Are you afraid or accepting? What makes you associate with death and fear it? 65. Do you watch horror or thriller movies? How do you feel if there are scenes that hurt or demean women, or scenes of self-harm? 66. What kind of people do you look down upon? Why? Do you think others look down on you? 67. What is the most self-destructive thing you have done so far? Why? How did it make you feel, and what is its current impact on you? 68. Have there been any unexpected deaths or abnormal behavior in your family, such as cheating, homosexuality, suicide, drug addiction, gambling, or imprisonment? How do you feel about them and how do they affect your emotions? Do you feel anxious or scared? 69. Do you feel embarrassed or dissatisfied with your body when wearing a bikini at the beach? Is your dress conservative or open? How do you feel about it, and what do you hope others feel about it? 70. Have you ever rejected someone's confession? Have you faced retaliation from others because of it? What would your reaction be if you were in that situation? 71. Are you good at rejecting others? 72. How do you feel about betrayal? 73. Do you express what you want and what you strive for? 74. Have you ever had someone you especially liked but thought you were not worthy and didn't express your feelings, thus missing the chance? 75. Do you stop yourself when you know something will hurt you or get out of control? 76. How do you deal with negative evaluations from the same or opposite sex? Do you believe that you are just as they describe you? 77. Is there anything memorable or impactful in your career? 78. In your experience of dating and relationships from your first to your current one, do you tend to be the giver or the receiver in the relationship? 79. Do you experience sexual climax? 80. What kind of sexual patterns do you enjoy? Do you have a tendency to enjoy being abused? 81. Do you have the habit of masturbation? Do you like or dislike your own body? Do you feel guilty about masturbation? Do you have any fantasies? 82. How do you feel about temptations or manipulative relationships, especially sexual relationships? Do you enjoy them or fear them? Are you more active or passive in such relationships? 83. What do you enjoy most in your current marriage and what do you fear? What touched you, and what makes you uneasy? Are you afraid of yourself, of uncontrollable relationships, or of losing the feeling of being loved? 84. Are you afraid of how people around you will evaluate your personality and marriage? 85. What actions from the opposite sex make you feel comfortable or safe, such as patting your head, hugging, or patting your shoulder? What do you do to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex? 86. What are your requirements for a partner in terms of limits? What limits can you set for a partner? What things have you done for each other at the limit? Your life perspective. 87. Is there anyone around you who you particularly envy? Why? What do you envy about them? 88. What kind of marriage relationship do you expect? 89. Can you accept a relationship where each individual pays for themselves? 90. How do long-distance relationships or living apart make you feel? What makes you feel pleasant or unpleasant? What causes anxiety? 91. Would you sacrifice your own life goals and career for your partner? 92. Are you afraid of your husband or yourself cheating? What would you do if you or your partner cheated? Is emotional infidelity or physical infidelity acceptable? 93. What is your ideal partner like? Among the partners you have had, who is closest to this ideal? 94. What are your expectations for children? 95. How do you interact with and raise your children? What is the order of priority between you, your partner, and your children? 96. What do you think you will be doing at the age of 40-50? What is your vision for your old age? 97. Which stage, adolescence, middle age, or old age, do you fear the least? Which one do you fear the most? Why? What are the reasons? 98. Evaluate your current occupation. Are you satisfied? What are you dissatisfied with? What kind of occupation can you continue to do until old age? 99. What is your attitude towards money? How is your relationship with money currently? 100. What are the current challenges in your life? What would be your desired outcome after resolving them?",
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        "questionID": 8442
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       {
        "question": "Should I tell my parents about my self-harm? I don't want to upset them.",
        "description": "I am currently in the hospital. The self-inflicted cuts are too deep and need stitches. The doctor said it's better to inform my family about my condition. So, I tried mentioning it to my mom on the phone. Her first response was, \"Are you crazy?\" It made me even more upset, and I don't want to communicate with her anymore. Besides, my mom has a heart condition, and I really don't want to upset her. She sounded like she was crying. I really don't want this. But they don't know the situation, and they won't allow me to go to a mental hospital. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the latest update is that I received a call from the hospital today and my mom has been hospitalized due to a heart problem. I am very worried about her condition and I feel guilty for causing her so much stress. I want to talk to her and let her know everything, but at the same time, I'm afraid of how she will react. She has a history of heart disease and I don't want to worsen her condition by telling her about my mental health issues. I care about her a lot and I don't want to burden her with my problems. I'm not sure what to do, but I know that I need to take care of myself and try to heal. Thank you for your support.",
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        "questionID": 13192
       },
       {
        "question": "\"Why are many friendships built on relationships where they need my help?\"",
        "description": "Since the beginning of my junior year in high school, I always thought that life was normal, and my interpersonal relationships and interactions with classmates were also normal. But why is it that since I moved from an eight-person dormitory to a four-person dormitory (which is half more expensive but with better treatment), those roommates who used to be together with me started ignoring me? One friend who used to always be with me felt that I was no longer useful to her and cut off ties with me. Many friends seemed to think that I was useless and cut off ties too. Why is it like this? Why are so many friendships built on the basis of needing my help? Now I find myself on the verge of having to do everything by myself. Is it my fault?",
        "keywords": "interpersonal relationships, friends, roommates, classmates",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your feelings very well. After reading your description, it reminded me of my relationship with a classmate in junior high school. In the first and second year of junior high, our homes were in the same direction, so we went to school and went home together every day. We were like best friends who could talk about anything, at least that's how I saw it. In the third year of junior high, I moved up to an advanced class, while she stayed in the regular class. Because of the advanced class, the teachers suggested living in the dormitory, so I chose to live there. In order to go to her classroom, I had to pass by my own classroom. But when we met, she wouldn't talk to me anymore. Sometimes I would say hello to her, and she would just give me a brief smile. At first, I couldn't understand why we, who used to be inseparable, had become like this. Did I do something wrong? I was sad and upset about it for many days. Later, I realized that she wasn't someone who valued friendship. We used to be close because we went to and from school together. The deterioration of our relationship wasn't my fault. Even till today, none of my classmates have any contact with her. You mentioned that your friends who used to always be with you think you are useless now, so they cut off contact. Isn't that too absolute? They didn't explicitly say they wanted to end the relationship. It's just that you are in different environments now, and there are no more common topics. Our lives are like a train, people come and go, most of them are short-term passengers. Those who can stay with us for a longer time are few and far between. So for those people who come and go, don't get too caught up in whether they are still on the train or not. In our lifetime, we will meet many friends, but most of them are shallow relationships. To have two or three close friends is already very lucky. Even if you are now alone, those who genuinely want to be friends with you won't distance themselves just because you moved dorms frequently. As for your previous roommate, if you meet, you should still say hello, but whether the friendship is deep or not, let it be up to fate. They say love can't be forced, and the same goes for friendship. The most important thing for you now should be to shift your focus to your studies, become better and better, and believe that you can do it! May we fearlessly move forward together on the road of growth. - Wen Xi.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ The essence of interpersonal relationships is cooperation, not utilitarianism. For example, if two people get along very well, their relationship may be good, and in this process, they actually benefit each other - we can obtain joy from each other, so I am willing to hang out with him. The usefulness or uselessness between people is often unclear, unlike in business transactions where people may think that cooperation is useful and no cooperation is useless. The so-called usefulness or uselessness is actually unquantifiable. And few people really get to know someone because they are useful or stop communicating with someone because they are useless. So you need to look at them and understand the reasons for not continuing to communicate and maintain contact with you. It is very likely that it is not because you are useless. For example, it may be because after changing dormitories, there will be fewer intersections between you, and you will no longer live together and share life as closely as before, so it is normal for your communication to decrease. Or maybe it's because you have different opinions on certain issues, so they may deliberately or unintentionally isolate you. And that friend who thought you were useless and then broke off contact with you, how did he explain why he wanted to end the friendship? I don't think he said it was because you were useless. If he did say that, then he is indeed wrong. If two people have a mutually beneficial relationship, then they cannot be called friends. So the most important thing is to see what changes have happened in your life, and why your relationship has changed like this. I don't think it's as simple as whether it's useful or not. If possible, you can have a good chat with those people whose relationship with you is not as good as before, and let them talk about their thoughts and opinions.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Subject: Hello, I think there are a few things to consider regarding this issue. First, think back on how you and your friends became friends. Did you come together because of shared interests, or was it due to being assigned to the same living arrangements? If it's because of living arrangements, there might be a lot of passivity involved. Your close contact and interaction could be mainly because you live in the same dormitory, and without this premise, naturally the relationship would become more distant. Secondly, think about whether it's just one friend who has distanced themselves from you or if many friends are doing the same. If your friendships were normal before 12th grade, it's strange that many friends have changed since then. Is it possible that your judgment of others has been influenced by one person? In short, a true friend wouldn't leave you just because you're no longer useful. Perhaps your attribution has deviated, or maybe these people are just your dormmates.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7907
       },
       {
        "question": "I can't control the urge to find him, my heart is so conflicted. Should I give up or follow my heart?",
        "description": "I accidentally clicked on the \"People Nearby\" feature in WeChat and saw a very unique profile picture. I was curious, so I said hello. I found that he was very polite and didn't seem like a bad person, so we decided to meet the next day. That night, we had dinner together and chatted. When I first saw him, I didn't feel any sparks, but I thought he looked handsome and tall. After dinner, I planned to take a taxi home, but he insisted on riding his motorcycle to escort me home, and I agreed. He drove quite fast, and I placed my hand on his shoulder as we chatted and rode home. As we talked, I felt that he was really warm and gentle, and he had good manners. Then I hugged him, just a simple hug, because he was driving so fast. I joked that he did it on purpose, but he said no. Out of courtesy, I asked if it was uncomfortable to hug like that, as I respect people's boundaries. He said it wasn't and told me to keep hugging him, so I wouldn't be thrown off. After that, we spent a few days together as friends. On the fourth night, I passed by his place a couple of times, and he invited me to come up. I jokingly agreed. After finishing my dance class at night, I texted him and asked him to escort me home.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing relationships, sexual behavior",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, there are many ways for two people to meet and being nearby is just one of them. It's natural to have doubts, especially with recent events. I believe you have been following the news as well. As the saying goes, time reveals a person's true character. When it comes to a relationship, especially with a stranger, it's important to take things slowly and always remind yourself to protect yourself. May everything be well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14191
       },
       {
        "question": "A good friend's husband is irresponsible, loves playing games, and even meets up with female online friends?",
        "description": "I have a good friend around me who has been married for a year. The husband comes from a well-off family, and the mother-in-law opened a shop for them, so their life is not difficult. However, her husband often loves playing games and going to internet cafes. One time, she got so angry that she went back to her parents' house and stayed there for a month. During this time, her husband had an emotional affair and went to see a female online friend in another city. Later on, they reconciled, and she felt that in order to move forward, she needed to digest these things and keep an open mind. But not long after, she discovered that her husband was still chatting with that woman. Recently, they've been having marital problems, and she reached out to me several times to confide in me. However, I can't give her advice, and I don't know how to comfort her and solve these issues. I don't want to see her so unhappy. She wants to resolve the situation and live a good life. Does anyone have any good ideas? Is there a way for her to escape from this suffering?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, infidelity, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It is really difficult for outsiders to help with household chores. It's understandable that women would be frustrated in such situations and vent to their friends. But after venting, they realize that life remains the same without any change. We say that the life we talk about is the life we live. When we constantly complain, we tend to put ourselves in the position of a victim and feel sorry for ourselves. Look, how unfortunate I am, how unjust it is, how incompetent he is... You will find that because of such thoughts, our physical energy becomes lower and lower, making it difficult for us to activate creativity in our marriage. In other words, besides complaining and avoiding, we can't seem to come up with any solutions. Let's turn back and talk about the man. What happened after just one year of marriage that made it so boring? Is there only one person in a boring marriage? When faced with unsolvable issues in a marriage, running back to one's parents' home for a month is not a wife's behavior, it's a child's behavior. Similarly, when things go wrong in a marriage, this man didn't try to do anything, but chose to escape through emotional infidelity. In an intimate relationship, the wife is not a wife, the husband is not a husband, they are just two children competing with each other. So, in order to solve these problems, both individuals need to have this awareness and be willing to grow for the sake of a better marriage.",
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           {
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           {
            "start": 411,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8626
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling useless and irrelevant, I don't know how to continue living.",
        "description": "I always assume that unrelated people dislike me and feel like everyone in the world hates me. If someone compliments me, I panic and think they are mocking me. I struggle to form close relationships, even with my family. Being around my family feels awkward and uncomfortable, and I crave friendships but fear social interactions. Sometimes, I will initiate interactions with people but then distance myself when they try to get closer to me. I have become weak and sensitive, constantly magnifying the difficulties in everything and feeling like I can't succeed. I constantly doubt and suspect the people around me, thinking they are isolating me or talking badly about me. I have no sense of security and don't know what to do. I also have trouble focusing on my studies. I am not sure if this is related to the constant criticism and belittlement I received from my family and teachers when I was younger, always being told that I couldn't do anything right. Now, I feel worthless and that my life is a mess. I feel really uncomfortable and don't know how to move forward.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You said, \"I'm not sure if it's related to the constant criticism I received from family and teachers when I was a child. I was always being scolded and told that I couldn't do anything right. Now I also feel useless and my life is a mess, I feel so uncomfortable and I don't know how to go on.\" I think when you associate with the criticism from your family and teachers in your childhood, it becomes an important and influential experience for you. As children, we internalize the judgments of our family as \"this is who I am,\" and we see the criticism from teachers as \"I am really terrible.\" It's hard for us to separate ourselves and say, \"This is how others see me, it's not who I really am!\" Although it's difficult, I want to tell you that as we grow older, we can try to see that \"only I can define myself,\" okay?",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10883
       },
       {
        "question": "Everyday life is routine, how can we make every day meaningful?",
        "description": "What can I do if I feel that my daily life is too routine and lacks meaning?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello! After reading your description, I have a certain understanding of the question you want to ask, so I'm sending you a virtual hug. The problem you mentioned in your description is actually something that most people encounter, so it can be considered normal. Because most of us live this way, doing routine things every day, especially for those who have a family, their focus is stability, so they tend to stick to their careers and rarely seek change. However, everyone has their own attitude towards life. Some people enjoy a structured life, while others don't. They prefer new things and excitement. In their eyes, freshness is important because these people believe that their lives should have as many possibilities as possible, rather than being confined to a framework. I have summarized some methods to help you alleviate your current situation. (1) If you have time, take a good look at everything around you. I believe you will discover many meaningful things because having an eye for beauty is important. (2) Create some small surprises for yourself in your spare time to add some excitement to your life. (3) Spend time reading books to enhance your cultural literacy. (4) Try to discover things that interest you and work hard towards them. (5) However, the person who can make the change is you. If you want to change, then take action. The world and I love you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I saw that you feel a lack of meaning in your life due to the current routine lifestyle, and you are experiencing inner distress. The fact that you find the urbanized life meaningless shows that you are someone who lives positively, which is great. Because you provided limited information, I don't know what your routine life looks like right now. From my understanding, it may mean that your life is stable, and you do the same things every day. Currently, I have a similar lifestyle. I attend classes in the morning, offer counseling in the afternoon, and study in the evening. I rarely leave this building because I live here and work here, so I don't go out much. However, I don't feel that this kind of life has no meaning; on the contrary, I quite enjoy it because I am doing things I love. So what I would like to say to you is, first, you need to understand your personality. Do you prefer a more stable lifestyle or one that is full of change? Only by knowing your preferences can you make better choices. Second, a routine life doesn't necessarily mean it has no meaning. You can find meaningful aspects within this kind of life. You can add a sense of ceremony to your life, such as dressing up nicely every day or having afternoon tea. This can make your life more meaningful. Third, you can enrich your leisure time by cultivating more interests and hobbies. For example, reading books, practicing yoga or doing some exercise can make your seemingly boring life more interesting. These are my personal suggestions, and I hope they will be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 306
       },
       {
        "question": "Dad always favors my younger brother, regardless of right or wrong, and always says that my brother is a bit better-behaved.",
        "description": "Today, I had an argument with my younger brother. The reason was that he shouted my name, and I asked him what he wanted. Then we started fighting, and she scratched my hand, leaving wounds. My dad didn't say anything and just held my brother's hand, saying let's go buy some apples for him. I cried, I cried my heart out, but my family acted as if nothing happened, playing with their phones and watching TV beside me. I really don't know if I am truly their biological child. My sisters always joke that I was switched at birth, and I have seriously considered this. I dare not think about it, I dare not believe it, but their actions have made me have to believe it. I really want to die! Since middle school, I have felt that there is no meaning in my life. I hate this family, I hate my sister's temper tantrums, I hate my mom's loud voice, I hate my brother's mischievousness, and I hate my dad's excessive focus on academics! I hate myself for being so pathetic! There is no one I can rely on, and the person I like doesn't like me back. I really don't know what to do anymore!",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication, and the process of growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Don't be angry, talk about us. How old is your younger brother? He is not sensible. Let children tolerate him and play with him more. In the future, you can even ask him to help you run errands at the supermarket. Your parents have mental health issues, but since you are a normal person, you should be understanding. Let me share a personal experience. I used to have a younger brother who passed away. When he was alive, I really disliked him and would often hit him and say, \"Why don't you go die?\" But when he actually died, I cried my heart out, wishing I could take his place and die instead. I changed my signature to: \"Only after losing do we realize the value. Being aggressive and unrestrained ultimately leads to self-destruction.\" - \"The Art of War\" by Sun Tzu.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12010
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm only in middle school, but I feel like I have depression. What should I do?",
        "description": "I was born in the 2000s and I will start 8th grade in September. During the middle school entrance exam, my dad got blamed by his \"friends\" and was sentenced to one and a half years in prison. I saw the police take him away with my own eyes. In my hometown, they value boys more than girls, and since I got accepted into a private prestigious school, the tuition is expensive. My grandmother has been wanting me to go back home and become a \"child bride\" for another family. My mom suddenly had to start working since she used to be a full-time housewife. She often gets angry out of nowhere and scolds and beats me. My older brother also dislikes me and never really talks to me. Nobody has cared about my feelings because I always smile and make jokes to show that I don't care. Most of my classmates have a good relationship with me, mainly because I'm easygoing and any sad things never stay overnight, and I'm very considerate. Even the teachers make comments like this. But as long as there's no one around, I can't smile no matter what. I feel very uncomfortable inside, don't want to move, and have trouble sleeping at night. Sometimes I even think about committing suicide. I'm too afraid to talk to anyone, maybe because I want to save face, I always show the good side to others. I always tolerate what others do and afraid of ruining the good relationships I have with them. It feels like tolerance and smiling have become my way of life. I always feel inferior for no reason when interacting with others. Do I have depression?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Giving you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 Based on your description, I understand that: (1) You always show the good side to everyone, but deep down, you feel upset. (2) You want to know if you have depression. Here are my analysis and suggestions, hoping to help you: (1) I admire your strength and smile despite facing gender bias, abuse, and ridicule. It seems like you interpret this as saving face, but I have a different view. From the ashes, we rise; strength is forged through adversity. These words wouldn't exist without smiles and resilience; you're simply in the process of strengthening yourself. (2) I'm not certain if you have depression, but I suggest talking to a counselor at your school. They might be able to genuinely help you, keep your secret, and provide you with some techniques. Believe in your own strength. Finally, here's a quote for you: \"The darkness you see may just be the night before the dawn. With hope, keep going, and you will get better. The world and I love you. Best wishes~\"",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 13431
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel extremely annoyed by my colleague asking for information about my family. How can I reconcile with myself?",
        "description": "I am extremely disgusted when my colleague asks me about my family information, as if she has touched a hidden corner of my heart. When I am emotionally stable at that time, I would give vague answers to brush it off. But if my emotions were unstable, I would feel a rush of blood and a sense of irritability. My father has a simple mind, while my mother is irritable and solves problems by raising her voice. As a result, I have always had a strong desire to prove myself, being someone else's child since I was young, even though I have a master's degree. I know that I shouldn't isolate myself, and that I should open up and embrace life. But how can I reconcile and resolve this emotional trauma?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: People have things in their hearts, the more they accumulate, the longer it lasts. Since it is a mental knot, it needs to be untied. It may be painful, just like a tumor in one's heart. If it is not removed, it will stay there, always present. Often things are not as serious as we imagine, but we feel that they are. Don't worry, since it is a knot, it can be undone. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. You are extremely disgusted when colleagues ask you about your family, as if they are touching the hidden corner of your heart. When you are in a stable mood, you may give vague information to brush it off, but if you are emotionally unstable, you may feel a surge of anger and a restless feeling. (It is normal for colleagues to communicate with each other, but information about family is a sensitive spot in your heart. We cannot prevent colleagues or other friends from asking about family matters, so we can only deal with this part of sensitivity. I guess your childhood and family have brought you a lot of shadows, becoming the \"pain\" in your heart. Like a hedgehog with trauma, you instinctively hurt whoever touches it. And you also know that this anger is not directed at your colleagues, but at the helplessness and pain caused by your unchangeable family situation.) 2. Your father has a simple mind, your mother is irritable, and problems are solved by raising one's voice. You are extremely strong. From childhood to adulthood, you have always been the child from other families and have a master's degree. (In a family where the woman is strong and the man is weak, you unconsciously become strong. There is a sense of strength in your heart: you dislike that your father lacks the responsibility of a man, and you dislike your mother's irritable upbringing. Your strength comes from an invisible resistance to them. What can you do about it? You can only make yourself stronger, so you keep striving, continuously striving. But deep down, you are not happy. Therefore, when colleagues ask about family matters, it easily touches the pain in your heart.) 3. You know clearly that you should not isolate yourself, but rather open up and embrace life. But how can you reconcile and untie this mental knot? (People often say, \"It is easier to change mountains and rivers than one's nature,\" but they didn't say it's impossible. After so many years, you have been using the same thinking pattern to understand things, and the same family perspective to look at them. It has become a strong \"mental knot\" in your heart. If you want to untie it, you need to understand yourself more, and then let yourself understand yourself more, see yourself, and slowly some ice will melt, some mental knots will slowly open. First, reconcile with yourself, then you can see them differently, then you can reconcile with them. Don't worry, it is possible.) Conclusion: I wish you happiness and joy! I wish you success in whatever you desire! Feel free to private message me if you have any confusion!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see your concerns and I hope I can help you. From your description, I can tell that you are extremely disgusted when colleagues ask about your family information. You feel like your innermost secrets are being touched, and you even become irritable when your emotions are unstable. I can understand your mood and feelings. You don't want to isolate yourself and want to open up and embrace life. We can try to make adjustments in the following aspects: Firstly, accept your true self. It is normal to not want others to inquire about your family information. Everyone has corners in their hearts that they don't want others to touch. Don't blame yourself for this. You can explain to your colleagues that you don't like this topic or change the subject. Generally, colleagues won't have different views of you because of this, so there's no need to be overly nervous. At the same time, the exaggeration of this matter reflects your importance and entanglement with family relationships. You can try to sort it out on your own. What did the \"child from someone else's family\" experience in childhood? What shaped your current personality and interpersonal communication patterns? What positive and negative influences did your parents have on you? Look at the past from a third-party perspective, see the most authentic self, and bravely accept yourself. Allow yourself to be imperfect. This is the first step to unlocking the knot. Secondly, accept your parents. From your description, I see that your father is mentally simple and your mother is irritable, using a loud voice to solve problems. I guess they may be controlling parents, keeping you in a suppressed state of being controlled since childhood, and also shaping your drive for perfection. The reason you don't want to talk about them now is probably because you have repeatedly tried to meet their expectations, but your expectations of them have never been realized. Starting from now, try to look at your parents from an adult's perspective, see their hardships, whether it's the simplicity that you thought, their irritability, or solving problems with a loud voice, they might be the coping strategies they could choose in life. Imagine putting yourself in their shoes, given their background and conditions at the time, could you do better than them? Maybe they are not the way you expected them to be, and their way of loving you is not the way you like, but as parents, they have indeed done their best. Accept their imperfections and try to understand them from a different perspective. Let go of your perfect expectations of them from your heart, and you may no longer feel so entangled. Thirdly, establish your own social circle. Every personality has its own advantages. From your words and lines, I can see your self-discipline, drive, kindness, and sensitivity. These are all your strengths. Don't doubt yourself because of others' opinions or feel that you have to get along with everyone to be open. On the contrary, having boundaries in relationships can help you meet more like-minded friends. Reconcile with yourself first, and the world will naturally reconcile with you. I wish you new discoveries every day.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there! First, let me give you a warm virtual hug, and I hope my answer can help you. First, I want to commend you for being an amazing child in other people's eyes throughout your life. That's quite impressive! Although the personalities of my parents and Sisi's parents are quite similar, Sisi hasn't been able to portray herself as the \"ideal child\" like you have. I must admit I'm a bit envious of you. Sisi also mentioned that her family situation is somewhat similar to yours, so I believe your reluctance to share your family circumstances with others is a way to protect yourself. Personally, I don't usually like discussing my family situation either. Perhaps it's because my father has a simple mind and has never expressed his love to me, whereas my mother tends to solve problems by raising her voice and scolding me, making it difficult for me to feel loved. I feel like I lack affection, but I don't want to share this miserable side of myself with others, so it's really hard for me to talk about my family situation. So, considering your deep-rooted feelings, are they similar to mine? Therefore, instead of saying that it's your personal issue, it might be more accurate to say it's an issue between you and your parents. Now, as an adult, I can get along with my parents harmoniously, so let me share how I managed to resolve the issues between them and me. Growing up, I've come to realize that my parents are also pitiful in a way. They belong to an older generation that didn't have the opportunity to receive much education, and their living conditions were not the best, so they had to endure a lot. For example, my mother didn't receive gentle treatment in the past, so she doesn't know how to treat others gently. As for my father, he didn't receive much education, so he doesn't know how to educate his children. Additionally, his lack of confidence resulted from his childhood experiences, making him introverted and unsure how to express love to his children. Therefore, for both my parents, I use the same approach: I treat them well and show them kindness. Through my words and actions, I let my father know that I love him, and gradually, he has started to change and make me feel his love. As for my mother, I tell her that yelling at others is not good, and I teach her to be more gentle. Although she still occasionally raises her voice, I can feel that she has become more tender than before. This is my approach, and I encourage you to give it a try as well. Hopefully, you can reconcile with your parents. As for sharing information about your family, I agree that you don't have to say too much, but it shouldn't lead to being angry with others. I hope this can help you with your dilemma. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Our entire lives are greatly influenced by our families of origin, and by the way our parents treated us when we were children. There are certain aspects that we dare not touch, and we can only release them in an environment that we consider safe. The person asking the question said, \"I understand that I shouldn't isolate myself, and that I should open up and embrace life, but how do I reconcile with this unresolved issue?\" We need to understand that our families of origin are not perfect, and that our parents' treatment of us was not right. We cannot make them change for us, but we can try to love ourselves. So how do we love ourselves? First, we need to put ourselves in our parents' shoes and try to understand them. The reason they treated us in that way, appearing unloving, is because they were accustomed to it. Their parents treated them the same way. They thought that was love, so they treated us the same way. We need to learn to understand our parents, understand that they were also people who \"were not loved\" because they did not have love themselves, so they were unable to give love to us. Understanding our parents actually means letting them go, and letting ourselves go as well. Now, what we can do is to give up seeking love from them, to give up immersing ourselves in the time when they did not love us, and instead, look forward and start loving ourselves. We need to treat ourselves as the child we once were, be our own parents, accompany ourselves, understand ourselves, and love ourselves. After we love ourselves, our mind and body will be healthier, and we will know how to love ourselves, so we will no longer need to seek love externally. Then, we can break free from external expectations and bravely live the life we want.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There are two ways you can regulate yourself. On one hand, take care of yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. Do things that make you happy and comfortable. If this question is indeed sensitive to you and you don't want to address it, you have every reason to refuse the person's inquiry. Just tell your colleague directly, \"I'm sorry, this question is sensitive to me and I find it difficult to answer.\" Sometimes, when people ask me about my salary or if I'm married, I feel it's crossing a line. Why should I tell you? Are we that close? Should I make myself uncomfortable just to satisfy your curiosity? In such situations, it doesn't matter if you open up, just brush it off casually or say it's not convenient to disclose that information. If it's something you truly mind, we usually only want to share with close friends. We don't have to bare all just because someone asks us, it makes us seem a bit too cheap, right? Trust has to be earned. As you said, it's enough to give some vague information, like saying they have retired or what occupation they have, and then don't say much more or change the subject. The other person should understand that. If they keep pressing, it means they lack emotional intelligence, and you don't have to pay attention to them. On the other hand, remind yourself that your colleagues don't mean to intentionally upset you; try to maintain a tolerant mindset. They have no idea about your concerns and perhaps just want to find a casual topic. If you can think this way, your emotions won't be so agitated because the other person is clearly unaware. Your family and your colleagues are not related, and they won't keep on dwelling on this matter. Usually, it's just a passing mention, so tell yourself not to take it too seriously. Your parents' situation is not your responsibility, nor is it your fault. Don't burden yourself with something that doesn't belong to you. Think more about how outstanding you are and how high your education is. You have many commendable qualities, and your dysfunctional family doesn't define you. You are the one in control of your own life. Yes, we have been hurt in the past, but we should try our best not to let those hurts continue to affect us. Even if we spend most of the time embracing life, it's still good. Be more tolerant and understanding towards yourself, and it might help you let go of the burden.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 13789
       },
       {
        "question": "My partner is being controlling, and my parents also forbid me from marrying someone from another city. How should I make a decision?",
        "description": "1. What should I do if my boyfriend is too controlling? I know he means well, but I have my own thoughts. It feels like he wants to put me in his pocket and take me everywhere. Since I've been with him, my ability to live independently has almost completely diminished. \n\n2. There's another issue. My parents have made it clear that even if I get married, I must marry someone local and not move too far away from them (in their eyes, even leaving the city is considered going to a different place). But I want to explore the outside world. I genuinely love my boyfriend and I'm also planning for the future, but I already feel resistance now. Should I tell my boyfriend about this matter? Doesn't he have the right to choose his own future? He's preparing for a graduate entrance exam, will it distract him? There are so many complicated problems in life, and I'm asking all the teachers here to provide an answer.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, premarital, concept of marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the poster a warm hug~ Reading through the whole paragraph, it feels like the poster hasn't been true to themselves, they always seem to be suppressed, always putting others first, where did their own true feelings go? They want to make choices for their own life, but it seems like there are obstacles everywhere and their own strength is insufficient. First of all, the boyfriend is controlling too much, who gave him the right to do so, allowing him to have a say in every little thing, making him think that you can't do anything well, not independent enough, hence he tries to control you too much. The parents have also made it clear that they don't want you to be too far away, isn't this also a form of control? Think about it, have you ever lived an independent life from childhood to now? If not, then let yourself become independent, make others feel at ease, give yourself a certain degree of freedom, that's the task at hand for the poster. Be aware of your own inner self, clear about what you truly want, have the courage to make choices and the willingness to make decisions without regrets. Brave enough to be yourself, we all need to grow up step by step.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a virtual hug. From your description, I can understand that: 1. Your boyfriend is controlling and it makes you uncomfortable. 2. Your parents oppose you living in another city. 3. You don't know whether or not to discuss it with your boyfriend because you're afraid of disturbing his exam preparation.\u3010A little bit of analysis and advice\u30111. You mentioned that you still have feelings for your boyfriend and hope to continue the relationship, so the issues in the relationship need to be resolved. You can talk to your boyfriend and let him know that you feel he is being too controlling. If you can't say it face-to-face, you can write him a letter expressing your thoughts. 2. Your parents' opposition is also a sign of their care and protection. However, whether to go to another city or stay is ultimately about your own future. Only you will bear the consequences of this decision, so it should be based on your own hopes and desires. You can have a conversation with your parents, expressing your genuine desire to experience life outside and consider their advice in weighing the pros and cons before making a final decision. 3. Finally, decide whether or not to inform your boyfriend about these issues based on his personality. If he is easily influenced by external factors and tends to be emotional, it's best to wait until after his exam to bring it up. If not, and he is the type to mediate emotions well, you can actually discuss it together. I hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18129
       },
       {
        "question": "A 10-year-old girl behaves differently towards her parents and other people, but what exactly is she like?",
        "description": "My precious child behaves differently in front of me and others. In my eyes, they appear very well-behaved, but they do not let others bully them in front of their classmates. They don't treat their grandma well because they have only been living together since they were seven years old. Older people tend to nag, which has caused deep conflicts between the two. I can't see clearly what kind of child my child is. I am very curious!",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, children's growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In fact, not only children can have multiple facets, even ourselves, we may behave differently in front of different people. Children behave very obediently in front of us, which should have something to do with our parenting style. We can think back to how we educated our children and see if there are any discrepancies between their behavior and our expectations. When with friends, children will not easily let others bully them, indicating that they already have a sense of self-protection, which is a good thing. There may be some conflicts when they are with their grandmother, which is related to the nagging and routines of older people. Because there are already certain preconceptions, we need to communicate with our daughter in a timely manner and try to eliminate unnecessary misunderstandings. It is natural for children to have multiple facets because human nature tends to seek benefits and avoid harm, so they will make adjustments according to different situations and find the most suitable methods for themselves. We can have a heart-to-heart talk with our child as an observer, listen to her opinions on these matters, give her some advice, and hear her ways of dealing with them. Actually, it's not that we can't see what kind of person our child is, it's that we only see a part of them, so we become curious and want to know about their other aspects. However, in this process, we need to pay attention to our child's privacy. For example, we should keep their little secrets confidential or not easily touch upon them. The world loves you and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2405
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it credible for a 99-year-old girl to claim that she has been married and has children?",
        "description": "I like her. But she told me that she was married and has a child. I feel like she is lying to me. People who were born in 1999 shouldn't be able to get married back then, right?",
        "keywords": "Love, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In rural areas, having a banquet signifies getting married, which is more deeply ingrained in people's hearts than a marriage certificate. Because both sets of parents and relatives know about it and have given their blessings. Similarly, it is not surprising to get married at the age of 16 in rural areas. My classmate got married after graduating from junior high school and became a grandmother in her thirties. It's not about whether one should get married at a certain age, but rather it is related to one's living environment, family background, personal needs, and so on. Many people who get married early either listen to whatever their parents say, or sacrifice themselves for the sake of their parents and siblings, feeling helpless. Whether she is actually married or not, by telling you this, she doesn't want to harm you, cause you distress, and she also doesn't want to cause trouble for herself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13205
       },
       {
        "question": "Do the feelings between sisters become less genuine as they grow older?",
        "description": "There are 5 children in my family (one older sister, two younger sisters, one younger brother). I am the second child. When we were young, my older sister always treated our third sister poorly because she liked me better than my third sister. (My third sister ran away from home 10 years ago, and sometimes I really miss her...) Nowadays, the relationship between my older sister and my fourth sister is good, and I don't feel jealous. But I can feel that my older sister always uses her body language to show off how good her relationship with my fourth sister is in front of me. I didn't think much of it before, but now I notice these things. For example, sometimes when I talk to my fourth sister, my older sister interrupts and my fourth sister can't continue the conversation with me and ends up talking with my older sister instead. For example, sometimes when I ask my fourth sister a question, my older sister always answers it before my fourth sister can. I feel that her behavior of being impolite and craving attention is becoming increasingly repulsive to me. I understand that my older sister is seeking attention. (One reason I can think of at the moment is that my older sister lived at my grandparents' house until she was 9 years old and lacked parental love. When she returned at the age of 9, my father was strict and demanding towards her, while he doted on me, so I think my older sister is competing for love and care in front of me, trying to find her sense of existence. I don't know if my analysis is accurate.) I would really like to hear the analysis from a professional. Thank you. Seeking the truth.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, it seems that there have been some changes in the relationship with your once very close sister. In your eyes, her relationship with your younger sister is closer and she seems to show off their intimacy. It seems that you are a sensitive person and have deep feelings for both your sister and your younger sister. You are probably looking for some reasonable explanations for these changes or subconsciously hoping to return to the relationship pattern from childhood. From your sister's perspective, she did not grow up with your parents and lacked their care, which may have caused her to feel abandoned and lacking in security. Even after returning to her own family at the age of 9, she may have still faced strict treatment from your father. During her growth process, she continuously looked for a relationship that she considered safe to comfort herself. For example, when she was younger, she formed an alliance with you and treated your younger sister in a certain way. As she got older, she formed an alliance with your younger sister and treated you in a similar way. Regardless of the stage, she needs someone by her side to control this kind of relationship to prove that she is not alone and abandoned. However, this process does not necessarily mean that she has hostility towards you or deliberately isolates you. It is just a defense mechanism, not targeting anyone specifically, but you happen to be one of the roles in this relationship. From your perspective, you also want to return to the relationship state of your childhood. We can only say that the relationship between sisters also needs to be maintained with effort. Before getting married, the relationship was pure, but after getting married and starting their own independent families with children, they became busy with their own lives, and it is inevitable to drift apart from each other. However, this kind of relationship will still return to its original pure state after the children grow up because family love is eternal. The reason you analyze the current relationship so thoroughly is actually a kind of nostalgia for your past sister. This feeling of \"loss\" makes you tend to overinterpret your sister's behaviors. In other words, often it is just your subjective perception, and the reality may not be as complicated as you imagine. While maintaining a distant relationship with your sister, we can also check whether we have lost the respect, attachment, and care we had for her in childhood. I believe you love your sister, and if your love is reciprocated, you hope that her response to you is better than her relationship with your younger sister. This is a more objective perspective, and if it makes you unhappy, please disregard it. Deep sisterly love means that more care and love is always better. In the future, everyone should take care of each other without distinguishing between who is closer or not, and should be less calculating and more tolerant. You will have more love. I hope you are happy!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the picture you have described, your sister does indeed show some tendencies to express herself and seek attention. However, it must also be said that there are reasons for such behavior. Previously, she left home and lived with the elders, and then returned, which must have made her feel out of place. In a situation where she feels out of place, it is understandable that she wants to assert herself and make an effort to fit into the family. Your expression seems to suggest that your sister has stolen your limelight (if you feel uncomfortable with this statement, well, please forgive me, I am just objectively analyzing, and if there are discrepancies, it is just my subjective interpretation of your words). So, with such actions from your sister, you may feel a sense of insecurity in your position. This kind of thinking is like there can only be one leader, and if your sister is doing well, it means she has taken your place, and you feel like a failure or have been eliminated. But I think you can also think in a different direction. You are a family, although your sister, you, and your younger sister now have your own families, you still have a family blood relationship after all. So, I hope you can love and care for each other more, and deepen your relationship. As for how to become more like a family or become more like competitors, I think this is something you need to consider carefully, and of course, your feelings also need to be understood by yourself. Your sister did not grow up in the family when she was little, which provides you with a certain psychological foundation. You also feel that she should stay outside or not be too close to you, rather than make an effort to integrate into the family. Just like your father's attitude towards her, treating her badly is also because your father also has a premise in his mind, that is, she did not grow up living with him, and there were fewer interactions between your father and you and your sister, making the relationship between you not as close. So when your sister suddenly becomes so proactive and aggressive in joining your family, it makes you uncomfortable in terms of distance, and you can't help but push her away. You need to understand your own emotions. You've also mentioned that you really like your sister, but compared to the deep bond you have with your siblings, your relationship with her is more complicated. This is appropriate because we often think that what we feel in our hearts is the truth, but we overlook the period of time when you didn't live together and the period of adjustment when your sister first returned. So, the direction of your relationship development needs to be towards intimacy and how to resolve conflicts or this kind of underlying turmoil between you. Talking about reasoning and knowing a lot doesn't necessarily mean we can navigate through life smoothly. What we need to do is to solve each conflict and emotional fluctuation in your real interactions. Good luck to you, and know that I and the world love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sister, hello. After reading your experience, my understanding is that you want to confirm if your thoughts are correct. You think that your older sister and fourth sister are good to each other in order to establish their sense of presence in the family. I am very curious about the mindset you had when you wrote this whole paragraph, which is very rational in describing and analyzing without adding emotional color. I am not very clear about what the truth is. If you want to understand your sister, based on the limited information you provided, I have some understanding of her. 1. Your older sister lived at your grandmother's house until she was 9 years old, lacking the love from parents. With five children in the family, everyone lives with their parents, except for her alone at your grandmother's house. Imagine, for such a young child, what does it mean? Will she think she is not obedient or cute, consider herself as redundant, or feel burdensome? 2. After your older sister returned home at the age of 9, your father was very strict with her. Usually, little girls want to be close to their fathers and receive their love. However, your father was very strict with your older sister. What does this mean to her? It is possible that she wants to receive her father's love but also thinks she cannot obtain it. How can she get it? Perhaps by being like a little mother in the family, taking care of her younger siblings? 3. Your third sister left home ten years ago. How old was she at the time? How old was your older sister? What was the reason for her leaving home? Did she leave voluntarily or were there hidden circumstances? How would this incident affect your older sister? Would she think that there are too many people in the family, and if she is not well-behaved, she will be sent away or even \"leave home\"? 4. You did not mention your younger brother. I imagine that in the family, your younger brother doesn't need to do anything special and naturally receives unconditional love from your parents, is that correct? Or do you mean that your mother loves your younger brother the most? And you also mentioned that your father loves you the most. In that case, it seems like neither your older sister nor your fourth sister receives any love. Maybe no matter what they do, they cannot receive love from their parents, so they take care of each other. When you open up your feelings to understand your older sister, maybe the truth doesn't matter. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: I have observed some of your questions about sisterly relationships, and I also noticed that you have actively expressed your concerns and sought help from others. This undoubtedly helps you better understand yourself and understand relationships. The relationship between people is a dynamic process that changes over time and personal experiences. Different interpretations and experiences of life will change the attitude towards relationships. Now, I would like to share my observations in the post, which may help you have a more comprehensive perspective on relationships. 1. People who lack love, if they don't make up for it themselves, will always seek validation. I noticed your description of your sister when she was younger, how she was primarily raised by your grandmother until age 9. For her, and for you, it seems like there were two separate circles - you and your parents were in one circle, while she was in another. When you are together, it is easy to feel a sense of not belonging. You might feel that she is trying to take away love, snacks, toys, etc. And your father is stricter with her. So, how did she fit into your family? By being obedient and taking care of her younger sisters, which is a good way to be accepted and acknowledged by your parents and you. This way, she can also receive love. On the other hand, the desire for validation is often accompanied by a fear of not being validated. This can manifest in behaviors and emotions that might lead her to bully her younger sister. Now that you have grown up, it seems like your relationship dynamic has changed, but there are still some similarities. Consider this - now your relationship is like you being the \"third sister\" and your parents have become the \"fourth sister.\" She still needs the validation of the \"parents,\" so she has to perform well in front of them. This can lead to seeking attention and proving herself to the \"parents\" through criticism. And as you have become the \"third sister\" because your older sister desires validation, her other side is a fear of not being validated, which she projects onto you through occasional criticism. 2. Recognize your older sister's limitations and learn to balance the relationship. What is the best and most enviable kind of relationship? It's one that can withstand attacks - the kind where you trust that even if I criticize you, you won't leave me. She feels safe in your presence, which allows her to be her true self. From your post and comments, I can see that you are doing certain things very well. Firstly, you have a keen perception and have recognized your older sister's limitations. Praising her meets her narcissistic and validation needs. This is also a form of respect for her. However, it's understandable that you feel uneasy when your older sister speaks negatively about herself in front of your younger siblings. In this case, we should also learn to respect ourselves. You can directly describe your sister's behavior and express your feelings, or you can try to get her to think from a different perspective. You can also use humor to lighten the mood, for example: \"I may not be perfect, but I'm always trying my best to treat you all well!\" Learn to balance your relationship, respect your older sister, and respect yourself. Your older sister has limitations, and so do you. As for you, the \"third sister,\" if you feel guilty in your heart, it would be good to apologize to her for not treating her well and bullying her when you were younger. This might bring you some inner peace.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title: Hello! Thank you for your question and invitation. I can tell that you had a close bond with your older sister and treasured this family relationship. In your interactions with your older sister and your younger sister, you tried to understand and empathize with your older sister, feeling sorry for the difficulties she faced in her childhood. However, the words and actions of your older sister towards both you and your younger sister are perplexing and uncomfortable. As an older sister myself, I can somewhat understand the frustration that arises when there are tensions with an older sibling, but it can be difficult to express these feelings. Many people cannot comprehend what it's like to grow up with numerous siblings. For a child who could only play alone, having an older brother or sister was a desire, even if it meant arguing and fighting, it was still better than being lonely and bored. As the saying goes, \"A mother gives birth to nine children, and each child is different.\" As we grow older, the temperament and ways of interacting with others among siblings will inevitably differ, leading to conflicts and discord. From a different perspective, it is precisely because of the deep sibling bond, a bond that others cannot experience, that some troubles arise. Just as the natural cycle of the seasons and changing climates continue to provide us with sunshine and air, the only thing that changes is our state of mind, not the deep bond of blood. When you feel that there is a rift between sisters, consider it as an opportunity to reassess the relationship and strengthen the bond. You mentioned that in your childhood, you had a better relationship with your older sister, but she always treated your younger sister poorly, and sometimes you truly miss her. You must have discussed your younger sister leaving home with your older sister, what kind of girl is she? What happened back then that led her to make such a decision at such a young age? How has she been doing all these years? Do you keep in touch with her? What are your older sister's thoughts on this? From your post, it is evident that all of you love your younger sister. As an older sister, perhaps you feel that taking care of and accommodating younger siblings is natural. However, the way you and your older sister treated your younger sister during your childhood might have made her feel excluded and unwelcome, and that could be why she left home, making it difficult for anyone to feel at ease. Perhaps your older sister, like you, feels some guilt in her heart. If you could turn back time, both of you would surely treat your younger sister with more friendliness and harmony. Now, only your younger sister is by your side, and perhaps, like you, your older sister hopes to give her more care and help to make up for the guilt she harbors towards your younger sister, unintentionally disregarding your feelings. If possible, find an opportunity for all the sisters to have a calm and honest conversation, where you can reflect each other's feelings like a mirror and see the love between each other. These are just my personal thoughts for your reference. Best wishes to you and your sisters~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, good evening! I understand your distress, and it must be an unhappy situation. It seems like you have a deep emotional bond with your older sister, and her behavior may have made you sad, upset, or even a little angry. Let's try to make sense of the whole situation. [Sibling Rivalry] Your older sister grew up with your grandparents, and even when she came back to her own home, she didn't receive much love from your parents. There are possibly two explanations for your sister's thoughts and actions. One possibility is that she wants to receive more love from your parents. More love means more attention, and more attention means being more successful. After all, she is the only child who was sent away by your parents, which may have made her feel like she is unwanted. To prove that she is not unwanted, she needs more attention and love from your parents. The other possibility is jealousy. She may be jealous that her siblings get to live with your parents and receive their love, while she doesn't. She wants what she can't have. Regardless of which possibility it is, the ultimate goal might be to compete for your parents' attention and love. [Blood is Thicker than Water] Your sister was sent to live with your grandparents, and as a young child, we don't know what she has been through. Since it was a boarding situation, maybe she experienced more hardships. Perhaps the past difficulties have influenced her behavior today because of her need for parental love, or maybe she also feels jealous of her siblings, causing her to temporarily lose sight of what's important. She is being driven by her inner needs, but may not necessarily see the reasons behind her actions. If she could understand this, she would naturally understand the importance of loving her siblings and parents, and she would receive love in return. Ultimately, family bonds are strong, and no matter how much internal arguing there may be, in the end, siblings are still the closest. My suggestion for you, OP, is to not dwell too much on your sister's behavior. Her behavior is her own lesson in life, and all you need to remember is that she is your sister. Focus on doing what you should do, and eventually, your sister will come to her own realizations. Lastly, I wish you happiness and joy, OP!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the relationship between sisters actually remains true as we grow up, it's just that our feelings are different from before. As we grow up, we all have our own busy lives and spend less time together compared to when we were younger, but the love between sisters is the same as when we were little. From your description, it seems that you care a lot about having a close relationship with your sisters. When you were little, you were close with your older sister, and now you want to become closer to your younger sister. And when you feel distant from your younger sister, you think about your middle sister. Are you looking for a sense of belonging or is your older sister seeking validation? You have always said that your older sister is looking for validation, competing for love and attention, and you define this behavior as impolite. But why does it bother you? Maybe because you also desire care and love from other family members. You mentioned that your father loves you and your sister likes you as well, so when you are so concerned about your sister competing for love, is it possible that you are also competing for love, afraid of losing their love? When your heart is filled with love, you will naturally care for others, feel sad for your youngest sister who ran away from home, understand that your sister lacks love and show her care, instead of feeling resentful. If your heart is filled with love, your younger sister will naturally be closer to you. We all want to be close to love, like flowers attracting butterflies. So, try to fill your heart with love first, instead of seeking love from those around you, and then go and care for others. I believe you will harvest a harmonious relationship with your sisters. Keep going, and best wishes to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I want to say that after growing up, we all become adults, and the world of adults should be different from when we were children. Influenced by various factors, our innocent thoughts from childhood become more complex as we age. Sometimes, we may even struggle to control ourselves. For example, when we were young, we might always want to go everywhere with our older sister and be inseparable companions. But as we grow up and develop independence, there may be times when we can't go together due to different priorities or obligations, and we gradually get used to the feeling of being apart. This just means that the form of intimacy has changed, but it still represents our growth and our own pursuits and lives, which naturally leads to some distance. However, blood is thicker than water, and that kind of intimacy will still be there. As long as you haven't had any major conflicts or unresolved issues with your sister, trust in this relationship. You can also talk to your sister about your concerns and confusion, as communication is the best bridge. In addition, when you mentioned your sister competing with you for attention (I'm not sure if I misunderstood), it may not be directed at you personally, but rather a result of her own growth experiences, such as seeking validation and feeling heard. From a psychological perspective, these behaviors can be defense mechanisms or survival strategies. Maybe you can talk to her about the things that make you uncomfortable and make her aware of her own behavior, and then discuss together whether such behaviors are appropriate. I believe that if your sister cares about your feelings, she will make some adjustments. Seeing that you have come for help with this sister relationship issue, I believe you value this relationship a lot and it has been causing you distress, right? So try communicating with your sister, it might be helpful. But if she is unwilling to communicate or denies your claims, you can choose not to argue with her for now and give each other some time to cool off. During this time, I believe both of you will reflect and think, and this process of reflection will be helpful to both of you, as it might bring to light some aspects that you previously overlooked, such as whether you are overly fixated on this relationship and getting caught up in minor issues. Of course, if you firmly believe that your thoughts are not misguided and the problem lies with your sister, and you still have affection for her, then give her time to realize and change on her own. All you can do is be understanding and forgiving, as long as it doesn't cross any personal boundaries, right? I hope your relationship with your sister improves over time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21433
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it really difficult to practice empathy? Does true empathy exist in the world?",
        "description": "We often talk about putting ourselves in others' shoes, but I find it difficult to truly do so in reality. Even when I try to see things from others' perspectives, my own thoughts often mix in. To be honest, I find it challenging to understand what others are thinking, let alone trying to understand what they have gone through.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, interpersonal boundaries, empathy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. You raised a good question that shows you have been making efforts to try to empathize with others, but you haven't found the right way yet. When we talk about empathy, it's actually about thinking, not feeling. No one can completely detach themselves from their own feelings and pretend to be someone else. However, effective empathy can help us understand others' feelings and perspectives. The purpose of empathy is not to guess others' feelings or prioritize them over our own. Empathy is a step in the information-gathering process before making decisions. By gathering information through various channels, we can understand what others are going through, and their emotions are part of that information. It's like playing chess, where you first need to understand the situation and know what is happening, how each move affects each piece. Only then can you think about how to move your own troops while considering how the opponent will move theirs. We often practice empathy to improve our relationships with others, so after understanding the situation, we still need empathy. Empathy may sound like you are forcing yourself to pretend to be the other person and imagine their emotions, but in reality, human emotions are universal. You just may not be aware of their connections and lack training in making such associations. For example, an elderly person who has lost their partner would be very sad, but as a young person with no experience of romantic relationships, you cannot fully empathize. You can only deduce the situation logically, that this elderly person has lost something important and is likely very sad. Though you can't fully understand their sadness, you can consider that they are feeling much worse than when you lost your beloved bicycle as a child. So, when you speak to the elderly person, you can offer sincere words of comfort, which is within the scope of your ability to empathize. The ability to empathize is positively correlated with our ability to recognize and manage our own emotions. That's why children with little life experience cannot empathize well and people who cannot manage their own emotions also find it difficult to empathize. One useful method is to practice naming our own emotions or describing the events when we experience emotions. This can help us gain deeper insights into our emotions. The application of empathy also depends on our attitude towards others. If you believe that humans are a shared destiny community, then you would be willing to empathize with the stories of people all over the world. But if you think you only care about your parents and family, then perhaps you wouldn't be willing to invest effort into empathizing with others. In short, whether it's empathy or simply putting oneself in another's shoes, it's all about making life better. If you have motivation, you will naturally gradually develop these skills through practice.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1876
       },
       {
        "question": "How to deal with spending money recklessly, lack of motivation, retaliating against parents' lack of understanding, and being disobedient?",
        "description": "Spending money recklessly, retaliating against my parents' lack of understanding, being disobedient, but my parents do not know that I am spending money recklessly, not making progress, or understand why I am unable to repay or make progress. What is wrong with me? Does this have any meaning?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication, growing up process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, it can be seen that you have high expectations for yourself and your parents. You desire understanding from your parents for your inner thoughts, as well as wanting to enjoy the obedience and care from them like when you were younger. From the perspective of developmental psychology, the process of human mental activity is continuous from birth to death, and the same event has different meanings for children and adults. Therefore, the valence of psychological effects is also different. For example, when you were little, crying would lead your parents to guess the reasons behind it, such as hunger, thirst, tiredness, etc., and they would always provide you with psychological satisfaction. However, as we grow up, we can express our inner thoughts to our parents through language, but at this moment, parents may not be able to accurately understand our thoughts, or they may treat us in ways they believe are good for us, leading us to feel misunderstood and disobedient. In such situations, you want to get your parents' attention, so you engage in impulsive spending and a non-progressive lifestyle to draw their attention. But after implementing these methods, you find that your parents still haven't understood your inner thoughts, which to some extent makes you feel that they don't value you enough. However, you believe that your parents have noticed your impulsive spending and non-progressive behavior, thereby paying attention to your longing for understanding and love. Based on this analysis, I suggest that you have a good and open communication with your parents, specifying the aspects in which you feel they have not understood you and expressing your reasonable expectations of them. By opening your heart and conveying your inner thoughts to your parents, I believe this approach will gradually make you feel understood and loved by your parents, and hopefully provide solace for your inner grievances.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From the words between the lines, I can sense your troubles. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. Your current problem is that you spend money recklessly and lack motivation, as a way to retaliate against your parents' lack of understanding and compliance with you. From your question, I can sense that you don't want to behave like this. You are also dissatisfied with your current life and want to change it. This proves that you want to develop in a positive direction and improve your relationship with your parents. You don't know how to deal with your parents' lack of understanding and compliance, so you chose unwise methods such as reckless spending and lack of motivation, as a way to retaliate against them. At the time, this method may have satisfied a small desire in your heart, but afterwards, you mostly feel empty. However, your parents have no understanding of the reasons behind your actions, so this method is useless and meaningless. By doing this, your parents may also be dissatisfied with your behavior, further deteriorating your relationship. It must be said that parents generally have good intentions. Their starting point is always for our own good. In their eyes, we are always their children, so they cannot easily let go and give us autonomy. We may feel that we have grown up, thus resulting in conflicts with them. How can we make our parents understand us? Each person's inner thoughts are different, and nobody has the ability to see into others' thoughts. We can only rely on guesswork, sometimes leading to misunderstandings. Therefore, it is better to calmly communicate our inner thoughts with our parents, and discuss gradually what we can do and how to do it. Make a good plan for yourself and let your parents see your abilities. Not being motivated is not a way to retaliate against our parents but rather a lack of responsibility towards our own life. You can make a plan based on your abilities and strengths, and then implement it. This is being responsible for yourself and also shows your parents that they can let go of you. This is a proactive approach. I hope my answer is helpful to you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You spend money recklessly to retaliate against your parents' lack of understanding and disobedience towards you. You have your own needs deep inside, hoping that your parents can fulfill them. However, their reactions and behavior are unable to satisfy you or make you feel content. This has led to resentment and negative emotions within you. But you don't know how to release these emotions, so you end up spending money impulsively as a way to attack your parents and vent your emotions. You believe that this reckless spending will hurt your parents, make them angry, and make them realize the consequences of not understanding and obeying you. However, since your parents are unaware of your impulsive spending, this act of defiance has no impact on them and is therefore meaningless. This has left you feeling confused, as your negative emotions have not been relieved. Is that correct? Reckless spending can indeed release some negative emotions. If your financial situation allows, it is not a problem to spend some money to make yourself feel comfortable. However, if you are using this behavior as a way to protest and retaliate against your parents, it also depends on whether your parents have a special focus on money and control, and whether spending money can truly stimulate and affect them. If you seek to retaliate against your parents through this behavior but cannot achieve the desired effect, this behavior loses its meaning and intensifies your feelings of resentment and frustration. When communication with your parents becomes difficult and they are unable to understand and support you, it does not feel good, and you may even feel very angry. Perhaps your parents have their own reasons, or perhaps your previous communication was not sufficient enough to understand each other. To solve the problem and relieve the emotions, communication is still necessary. You can continue to communicate with your parents, explain the reasons behind your requests, why they should listen to you, and the reasons for your parents' opposition. Are both sides' reasons reasonable? Is there room for negotiation and coordination? Are there other ways to satisfy and resolve the situation? Due to the different roles and positions between parents and children, they often only think from their own perspectives, which can lead to a lack of understanding and refusal to fulfill each other's requests. It is important to continue to communicate and try to empathize with each other in order to gradually understand each other and reach a consensus. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that your actions towards your parents may be related to some childhood traumas. It's possible that your parents were very strict with you during your early years and you had no means to resist. Now that you have grown up and have the ability, you are starting to rebel against and \"retaliate\" your parents. You need to reflect on the traumas caused by your parents during your childhood. Whenever your parents say something, you feel the need to oppose it, and whenever they behave in a certain way, you resist. Only when you understand yourself, understand the wounds you have suffered, and understand the triggers that lead to your disobedience, can you make changes for the better. From your writing, I can sense that you are not very satisfied with the current situation and you do not want to spend money recklessly or lack ambition. However, your relationship with your parents is not good, coupled with past pains, which makes you unwilling to change the current situation. But even so, I hope you can make some changes. If a person continues to live in past traumas or dissatisfaction, they cannot progress. You are currently engaged in power struggles with your parents and retaliating against their lack of understanding through your own defiant behaviors (such as spending money recklessly or lacking ambition). However, the person responsible for your own life is not others, not your parents, not your friends, it's only yourself. If you focus your energy and time on these areas, are you not being responsible for your own life? Therefore, if possible, it would be worth trying to repair your relationship with your parents. Regardless of whether they understand you or discipline you harshly, their love for you still exists. I have seen many professionals in my circle who often get angry at work because of a colleague or boss's comment, but later they realize that they also get angry when their parents say similar things. So, if you want to improve your relationships with friends and colleagues, you also need to repair your relationship with your parents. It may feel strange to suddenly try to repair a long-standing issue, and you may need to constantly reassure yourself. But it is also about taking responsibility for yourself, in order to live a happier life and have better relationships. It's not a bad thing to have a conversation with your parents and be open-hearted during a holiday or birthday. Although this process may make you angry, you can tell your parents the reason for your anger and let them understand how their words hurt you. Let your parents understand you. It's a bit sad that as children grow up, chances for communication with their parents become fewer and parents become less understanding, and sometimes stubborn. But in the end, when children and parents understand each other, they will realize that those little things from before can be laughed off. So, you can think about your past experiences and find opportunities to talk to your parents, and see if it helps. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You mentioned that spending money recklessly and lacking ambition is a way to retaliate against your parents for their lack of understanding and disobedience. Let's first examine the effectiveness of this retaliatory behavior. Who is suffering or facing the consequences of your lack of ambition, and what does it mean for your future? Lacking ambition could potentially ruin your abilities and capabilities in the future. Your inner self is blaming your parents for not understanding you, not seeing you, and not obeying you, and you want to see how they can destroy you. I can imagine the pain and anger of not being understood by one's parents, who often fail to see or even ignore you, or control you. Taking revenge is a coping strategy to avoid the pain of not being understood. First, we need to understand what this coping strategy means for you. Can we find another way to avoid the pain and helplessness in my inner self, and ensure that my future social functioning is not hindered? I suggest finding a counselor to help you understand and comprehend how your inner self operates. Why do you adopt such behavioral patterns, and what does it mean for you? What is the pain that you are avoiding?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can sense your strong desire for your parents to understand your needs, and I want to give you a warm hug. Since you can't get your parents' understanding, you try to get their attention by \"spending money recklessly and not being motivated,\" perhaps to relieve the pressure in your heart. However, from your feelings, it seems that this method hasn't achieved the result you wanted. Your parents continue to misunderstand, and you are still confused. Indeed, there is inevitably a deep generation gap between parents and children, and they have different perceptions. It is not easy to seek consensus and understanding. Therefore, we need to analyze specific problems specifically. What do you want your parents to understand? What are your needs? What result do you hope to achieve? Then, we can see how to communicate with our parents to reach this result. How to apply the right medicine, whether it's verbal communication or actions, whether it's a long-term gradual process or a decisive approach, whether to persuade them ourselves or seek help from others. Do we really need to convince our parents? Do we really need to make them understand 100%? Or can we rely on ourselves and be independent? Don't worry if you don't achieve the desired result at first. We can allow ourselves to try again and again in order to find the most suitable way of communication between you and your parents. Keep going and good luck :)",
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        ],
        "questionID": 4629
       },
       {
        "question": "Don't know how to get along with the opposite sex, don't know how to start a conversation?",
        "description": "Actually, I don't interact well with girls either, probably due to being more introverted. I don't know what to say or how to start conversations. It's even worse when it comes to the opposite sex. I hope to receive some suggestions to help me gradually integrate with more people.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your current mood, as the saying goes, \"A kind word warms you for three days, but a harsh word chills you for three winters.\" Communication has become a common problem for many people. My suggestion is: \"Try to make the other person say 'yes' as much as possible.\" The more \"yes\" we get from others, the more we can assert our own opinions, whether it is selling products or convincing others of something. This principle is very effective. When communicating with others, when we refrain from saying \"no,\" or when we already have this thought in our minds, we are already approaching the other person because we understand their needs very well. Consequently, they will also pay attention to us. However, when the other person says \"no,\" or has a mindset of refusal, the situation changes. When our questions seem to have nothing to do with them, it is equivalent to us not caring about what they want. They will definitely get angry because a person's \"self-esteem\" stems from this. Therefore, if we cannot get a \"yes\" response from the other person when dealing with them, it is best for us to try to prevent them from saying \"no.\" So how can we make the other person say \"yes\" as much as possible? The method is to learn the art of questioning and guide the other person to talk more. Questioning is when we ask ourselves questions and answer them, knowingly asking but not blindly. However, knowingly asking is not just asking randomly; we should ask about things that interest the other person, that they are proud of, such as their brilliant achievements, successful experiences, current concerns, and their areas of interest. Questioning is a powerful tool for understanding the other person's psychology and the best way to approach those who are difficult to approach. Through clever questioning, make the other person talk more about themselves. It is important to know that people are always happy when discussing themselves. Once they are engaged, it becomes easier to interact with you. Additionally, find common ground between both parties and guide the other person to agree with your opinions and give a \"yes\" response. Therefore, it can be said that there are no people who cannot be convinced, only people who do not know how to communicate. In order to succeed in the business and professional fields, one must take control of the conversation and guide the other person towards the goals we set. We should strive to obtain a \"yes\" response as much as possible. Finally, I hope my suggestion can help you and be applied to your life. I hope that you can become someone who can chat with anyone.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
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        ],
        "questionID": 1074
       },
       {
        "question": "How to adjust when encountering specific events triggers depressive emotions?",
        "description": "I am currently working, and I have been experiencing headaches since high school. I have been accompanied by depressive moods every day (I have consulted a professional counseling service), and until now, while working, I have been in a state of depression for about ten years. I work in data-related jobs, and I left my job for a long time due to depression. After receiving counseling and doing things I like, the depressive state has improved a lot. My daily mood, need for social interaction, and interests have all improved. The anxiety, loneliness, and palpitations that used to exist have also been alleviated, and I don't even feel them anymore. Then I wanted to return to work, but as long as I think about certain aspects of my job, for example, doing SPSS, even if I haven't done any regression analysis before, just listening to a course about what SPSS software is, I start to get headaches, palpitations, and uncontrollable depressive moods. I can't handle it whenever it is mentioned, and it takes one or two days or even a week to not think about it in order to relieve the symptoms. I have also considered not doing this kind of work, but I do need a job right now, and it is difficult to find other jobs, especially in the current pandemic situation. I hope that if...",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I feel sorry for the long time you have been troubled by depressive emotions. Based on your description, it seems that your depression mainly stems from dissatisfaction with work. You rationalize and force yourself to accept it, which not only fails to improve work efficiency but also intensifies resistance psychologically. So, let's analyze the problem together and try to find ways to alleviate your emotions. Problem analysis: * After a period of treatment, relapse of depression upon returning to work. You have made great improvement after receiving proper counseling, indicating that when the counselor guided you to do what you enjoy, you were able to return to a normal state of life and no longer be plagued by negative emotions. Since high school, headaches, depression, and negativity have seemingly prevented you from experiencing positive emotions such as happiness and fulfillment in life. Your life always feels dull and uncontrollable, and you appear passive in life. It wasn't until you encountered something you genuinely loved that your subjective initiative was maximally stimulated, bringing hope to your life. Consequently, during that period, you naturally switched from a pessimistic and negative mindset to a positive attitude. Upon returning to work, the stark contrast between the previous dreary and monotonous experience and the happiness brought by self-directed creativity was evident. Your rational consciousness tells you that you cannot do without this job, and it is difficult to find another job. Meanwhile, your subconscious strongly desires for you to do what you love to maintain vitality. As a result, conflict arises between your consciousness and subconsciousness, which is manifested in your extreme resistance to returning to work. Your current approach is to suppress the impulse of your subconsciousness in order to control your depressive emotions. You attempt to alleviate your unhappiness by thinking about happy things when doing unhappy tasks. However, unhappiness and happiness coexist and cannot be fundamentally resolved. When faced with unhappiness, you always try to suppress it with happiness, which only makes you more exhausted. It is as if you have become very proficient in the stress response of your body and brain, which is a result of excessive internal consumption. Here are some small suggestions: 1. Face your true inner thoughts and no longer suppress the impulse of your subconsciousness with rational consciousness. Explore the possibility of developing long-term work from the things you used to enjoy doing. If your focus is only on the present, your long-standing thought patterns will be trapped by shortsightedness, making it more difficult to make changes. 2. Balance work and leisure. You already understand that the purpose of work is to obtain survival resources and to live a more comfortable life in this world. If priorities are reversed and life is already uncomfortable, the purpose of work to make life better cannot be achieved. You don't have to force yourself to immediately accept the current situation. If your interests cannot develop into long-term work, you can also combine them with your current job, properly distribute your energy, and then see if you can alleviate the inner conflict. I wish you can live the life you truly want.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that you have described the issue very professionally. You have also realized that the statistics data is a source of depression for you. Every time you encounter related work or hear about it, it triggers your depressive emotions, causing you anxiety and negative feelings. During the time you were away from this position, you experienced the positive and pleasant feelings that came from leaving this source. So now, when you have to return to this job, these sources of depression and anxiety bring back negative feelings. Why go back to something that you have already experienced the benefits of leaving? You mentioned that it may be difficult to find another job, which is also causing you anxiety and urgency. It adds to the pressure you feel from the statistics data, and when you study or engage with things related to this job again, you naturally associate it with the pressure to find employment, leading to unpleasant feelings. So how can we adjust? The simplest solution is, of course, to leave it. If being pricked by a needle hurts, who would want to stay in a place where they are continuously pricked? However, when you feel that you truly cannot leave, don't force yourself to accept it, as it will only bring greater resistance. Just let this dislike reside here and continue your work, or try to identify the root of your dislike and find targeted ways to alleviate it. You can also think about your past successes, why you chose this job in the first place, and reflect on your original intentions. Or recall the sense of achievement and pleasure you have experienced in your work, and then think about how you approached this matter initially. These observations may help you adjust your emotions. The world loves you~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the topic owner. After reading your description and the comments in the reply section, it seems that you have a clear understanding of your own problems. You have also sought psychological counseling and gained some knowledge of psychological healing concepts, such as the \"rational emotive therapy\" that you mentioned in your reply, and you are actively practicing it. That's great. I will give you a thumbs up and applaud you. \"Every time I think about some aspects of work, I experience symptoms such as headaches and anxiety. For example, when it comes to doing SPSS, maybe you haven't even started conducting regression analysis and have only listened to lectures about what the SPSS software is, but you start experiencing uncontrollable emotions like headaches, heart palpitations, and depression. It takes one or two days, or even a week, without thinking about this matter to alleviate the symptoms. It happens every time.\" In short, whenever you think about or hear about work-related content, you experience symptoms such as headaches, anxiety, and depression (often accompanied by anxiety). Essentially, these emotions are derived from fear! I remember there's a line in \"Fear Motivates\" (also known as \"Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway\"): \"Human nature is incomplete without experiencing fear!\" The fact that you can still feel fear means that your human nature is \"complete\", and you are still a normal person. This is exactly the beginning of your journey towards \"wholeness\"! In order to fundamentally solve your current problem, you need to try to resolve the deep-seated \"source of fear\" within you. You can try to \"concretize\" and \"quantify\" your fear of work: 1) What exactly are you afraid of when it comes to work? Are you afraid that the content is too difficult, that you won't understand, and that you won't be able to perform well when you need to use them in your work, resulting in criticism from your superiors, deductions from your salary and bonuses, or even the loss of your job? Or is it something else? 2) How likely do you think the things you fear will actually happen? Can you try to express it as a percentage? 3) Even if the things you fear actually happen, what would be the worst outcome? 4) Do you have any resources around you that can help you deal with this fear? \"Back when I was in school, I have been experiencing headaches and accompanying depression every day starting from high school (I have sought counseling in a formal psychological counseling agency).\" It can be seen that your current problem has been going on for more than just a few days. It is the \"total outbreak\" of accumulated problems over the years! Regarding this, may I ask you a few questions, if you feel comfortable answering them: 1. What happened during your high school years that made you experience headaches and be surrounded by depression? Was it because the difficulty of the high school curriculum suddenly increased, leading to high academic pressure? Or was it due to problems in interpersonal relationships? 2. Apart from seeking counseling in psychological institutions, have your family members provided any help? How is the level of intimacy between you and your family members from childhood to adulthood? In terms of the \"language of love\" you receive from your family members, such as smiles, hugs, and praise, has it been abundant? Of course, these questions involve your personal privacy, and I respect your personal wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I wonder how this type of work is connected to your previous experiences that have caused you such anxiety and distress. It is evident that you are forced to do this job due to real-life circumstances, but it is causing you a lot of pain. You mentioned that you feel good when you are doing something you are interested in. This indicates a strong association between your depression and this job. Since you are unable to perform this job better at the moment, it would be beneficial to adjust your emotional state before engaging in work. Temporary life pressures can be alleviated through other means or work.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for your question. After reading through it, I have a feeling that you've come to understand what causes depression and why it can be so severe. You have also found effective treatment methods and hope to continue this positive progress. However, you still have fears, which is why you are seeking support through your question. Am I right? \ud83e\udd59 I am glad to see that your depression has received good treatment. It is important to know that depression has become one of the leading causes of death globally, with a mortality rate that has at times surpassed that of cancer. The long-term effects and complications it can cause need not be mentioned. Perhaps you have narrowly escaped death? Whether to cherish this new life and how to cherish it is up to you. Is life valuable or is a job you don't like valuable? Is a healthy and happy life important or is the fear of relapsing into depression and having an unhappy job more important? I believe you understand this better than us based on your personal experience. What kind of life do you want, or more specifically, what kind of state do you feel comfortable in? What defines life quality? Is it not based on physical and mental health? Otherwise, who is the quality for? \ud83e\udd6a It seems that you have doubts about completely quitting your job. On the other hand, working in this job is causing you great pain and there is a possibility of a relapse. So, is it possible to find a compromise? Perhaps try to find a less demanding job for now, while devoting more time and energy to things and places you enjoy. Take it slowly, no need to rush. Step by step, accumulate strength, and when the time comes to make a living and live the life you love, then consider quitting this type of job completely. Just like personal growth, there is always a process and it may involve twists and turns. I hope you can face your inner self and accept that life is not always sweet. With this mindset, I believe you will have more confidence in developing your desired career and life. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Because I couldn't bear the headaches and depression, I left my previous job and also sought formal counseling. Even after all this time, going back to my old job, I still can't adapt. You mentioned that you have considered Adler's teleology. Have you tried Freud's psychoanalysis? Go and see what happened in the past? What caused it? Because you mentioned that it started from your high school years until now. So I suggest you find a counselor from the psychoanalytic school and seek counseling. Different schools have different solutions. I hope you can resolve your confusion soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend, keep going! So, I also have a problem with headaches. Later on, I started using essential oils, so I can apply it anytime I feel the pain. I also meditate and increase my rest time to adjust my state... And if the headaches persist without relief, try mentioning it to your psychiatrist and see if there are any other methods that may be more suitable and helpful for you. Keep going, I hope you get better and may happiness, health, and good luck be with you always.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Feeling.ism, right? You're very intelligent. But I want to say, in a sense, feelings are useless, and you're deeply trapped in them. Don't you understand that practice determines knowledge, and matter determines consciousness? This is the simplest philosophy, and you definitely understand it. But by relying on so-called psychological suggestions, even hypnosis, you're essentially unable to solve the current situation, but rather a fundamental problem of how you attempt to overcome your emotional attachment to this matter. Maybe you feel that this approach gives you a different and mysterious experience, but I want to say, first, overcome this. Perhaps you haven't realized it in your life. If my answer makes sense, let's continue the discussion. If you think it's absurd, just take it as a look.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems like the topic wasn't fully discussed, so I'll add some more. If possible, I hope to find a method to deal with this. I kind of understand the mechanism - it's like being bitten by a snake once and being scared of ropes for ten years. From an Adlerian perspective, it's not the situation itself that leads to depressive emotions, but rather what I attribute to it. I've also tried using imagination and imagery dialogue to give this situation a different feeling. For example, while doing this task, I think about happy things, or when feeling depressed, I envision a little person in my mind gradually calming down. But this only provides some relief, the effect is not significant. I'm not sure if it's because I've been in a depressive environment for too long, and the stress response of my body and brain has become very proficient.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 10952
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it acceptable if friends and family members have moral issues?",
        "description": "A long time ago, my mother had an affair, and later she encouraged my father to do the same and asked him not to intervene with her. My father wanted a divorce but ultimately didn't go through with it and told me that he never considered me before making that decision. However, a few months ago, I discovered that both of my parents were having affairs. I was deeply hurt, and since then, I have been constantly doubting myself, reflecting on every detail of my life to see if I'm right or wrong. I haven't stopped overthinking obsessively, and more importantly, questioning my moral beliefs. Despite wanting to respect and accept everyone around me, I'm confused about how I can accept their actions. Recently, I found out that my roommate is cheating on her boyfriend, and she casually mentioned it to me and another friend. At that moment, I thought of my parents, and I don't know how to face my friend or the moral standards I know. In fact, I don't even understand my relationship with the world. I know nothing, I don't know what's right or wrong, and it's immature to always seek to judge. But I choose to treat them as if I know nothing, maybe that's safer. Is this a normal phenomenon? Is the other person's private life irrelevant to my relationship with them? I shouldn't judge, but how should I interact with them?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! This is indeed a relatively normal social phenomenon. You think they have moral problems, it is the discomfort caused by the difference in your moral sense and theirs that makes you feel uncomfortable. Of course, you can make your own judgment. However, the meaning of this judgment is not to make others become the same as you, or to make yourself become the same as them, but to let this judgment guide your desired attitude towards life. When the moral values of others conflict with ours, emotions naturally first tell us that we cannot accept or understand them. When we find that we are powerless to change or interfere with these established facts, reason tells us some reasons that we must accept. In this way, the inner balance can be achieved, so as to avoid mental breakdown and madness. Your parents and friends, as the people who are in close proximity to you, no matter how they are divided and detached, you are all like fish in the same pond, and you will inevitably influence each other. Therefore, when they have problems, you will reflect on yourself, as if there is something wrong with you. But their problems are only their problems, and you only need to take care of yourself as much as possible to avoid being affected. What we understand as the appearance of life is only a small piece of the whole life, and its depth is mostly hidden in those inconvenient words. When you see these various forms that differ from the original imagination, it is also when you gradually understand the essence of life. It can be beautiful, but also dirty; it can sometimes bring hope, sometimes disappointment. Ethics is a human civilization, but it is not like gravity, which is truth. There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people, and there are a thousand moral standards, and these standards will also change with circumstances. The so-called moral sense has become more of a personal emotion, without a guideline. Therefore, morality cannot objectively punish people, but can only subjectively condemn them. When we find that others' approach to private life is inconsistent with ours and we cannot understand it, it is polite to keep a distance and be the person we want to be within the concept that makes us comfortable.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I'll start by giving you a big hug~ Let's take a look at your problem: the infidelity of your parents and roommate has made you question your moral values. You don't know how to face your friends and family, and you doubt the correctness of the morals you believed in. I want to tell you that your moral values are not wrong. The infidelity of your parents and roommate, regardless of the reasons behind it, is their own fault. Their morals are compromised, and they have betrayed their sense of responsibility. Truly moral and responsible individuals always have their own principles and boundaries. No matter what problems they face, they will uphold their boundaries. Take the issue of infidelity as an example: if your parents and roommate had a sense of morals and responsibility, they would have chosen to divorce or break up before cheating instead. Does their personal life have anything to do with you? Should you pretend not to know? How should you interact with them? I want to tell you that no matter how close your relationship is with someone, you are not them, and you have no right to interfere with their personal life. As friends or children, we can reasonably and tactfully inform them of their unethical or wrong behavior, but whether they choose to correct themselves is not your concern. We can only ensure that we have a clear conscience and not forcibly demand that others change. If you have friends or family members who repeatedly engage in unethical behavior and you have already reminded them, but they haven't made any changes, it's best for you not to know about such matters in the future. How should we interact with friends and family members who have moral issues? For family members: advise them and inform them of the consequences. Family members are our loved ones, and they usually listen to our opinions. We can explain to them the harm and impact of these unethical behaviors and help them understand their importance. Leading by example is the best way to influence others. By silently influencing our family members through our interactions with them, we can help them understand their mistakes and unethical behavior. For friends: persuade and inform them of the consequences. We can still advise our friends and make them understand the negative consequences of their actions. However, friends are different from family, and we must maintain a certain boundary so that both parties won't feel uncomfortable. Inform them of your principles and boundaries. Let them know your principles and moral boundaries. If someone genuinely wants to be your friend, even if they engage in unethical behavior, they will try to avoid letting you know about it to prevent you from getting hurt. It's also okay to distance yourself from insincere people. These are just personal opinions, and I hope they can help you. Take care~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. Friendships and interpersonal relationships are inherently subjective. Why is it that you become friends with some people while others become strangers? Therefore, what matters is whether you consider \"faithfulness\" as a criterion for making friends. This criterion is no different from a series of other friendship criteria, such as \"not liking spicy food\" or \"enjoying playing games.\" In my opinion, not wanting to be friends with unfaithful people does not mean judging others; it is simply one of your criteria for making friends. However, this is only your criterion and may not apply to others. Conversely, if you believe that your criterion of \"faithfulness\" is righteous and that others should follow suit and ostracize this unfaithful roommate, then you are interfering with others' friendships and acting as a judge. \n\n2. Parental relationships may be a little more complicated than friendships, but they are fundamentally no different. One thing to keep in mind is that you always need to examine and observe your own moral principles. From my perspective, as long as your decisions do not harm others' immediate interests, there is no right or wrong~ Just stick to and abide by your own principles. We cannot control or change others, but as long as we are not changed by others, that's what matters~ By the way, your parents' actions are evidently affecting your interests~ In my opinion, it is no longer just a personal matter unrelated to right or wrong~ It's quite significant~ I hope my answer can bring some reflection and inspiration to the asker~ Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "We should not and have no need to judge anyone because we are not responsible for other people's lives, and we do not know what they have experienced or what they are truly thinking. Except for judges who need to judge and convict someone according to the laws and regulations, and rehabilitate and punish others, let's leave the rest to God. Criticizing others serves no purpose other than making them feel repulsed and resistant towards you, and creating distance between you. Others will not feel good or change because of your criticism. It is a person's right to live their own life, and it is not up to anyone else. Not to mention infidelity, even murderers have lawyers to defend them and may even be released due to lack of evidence. Recently, I happened to see a photo posted by a girl showing her selfie and she wrote that everyone has different standards, as long as she feels beautiful, it is enough. Unexpectedly, the keyboard warriors started commenting, saying things like, \"Why post it when you dress like that?\" \"Sometimes it's better to listen to others' opinions,\" \"If I looked like that, I wouldn't post selfies\"\u2026 It hurts me to see this. Maybe the girl is not conventionally beautiful, but what business is it of theirs? Why do they want to hurt someone like that? Criticism has no positive effect, but it can cause a lot of harm. Values are not right or wrong, they are just different from yours, your parents', or your roommates'. You may think loyalty is paramount and believe that there should be no infidelity among loved ones, but others may think that faithfulness is not the most important thing and they value other aspects more. If you try to deprive them of their right to pursue what they want because of this, isn't it going beyond your boundaries? You will never find someone who is exactly like you. If every time the other person's understanding and behavior do not match yours, and you feel the need to criticize and attempt to correct them, won't you feel exhausted? Will you still have any friends? I think what the topic creator needs to focus on is how other people's infidelity affects you? Does it cause you any harm? If someone's infidelity caused harm to your boyfriend and hurt you, then of course you should distance yourself from that person. But if the other person is cheating on their boyfriend and your parents are okay with it, what does it have to do with you? It doesn't harm you in any way. If you do not approve of these values, then it is better not to be close to them. Just be casual friends and there is no need for deep communication. As long as you do not engage in such behavior yourself, it is sufficient. The world is not black and white, and there is no absolute right or wrong. Many things exposed on the surface are just the tip of the iceberg, and what we see may not be the truth. Therefore, not criticizing anyone is what we should do, giving others the freedom to do what they want, and perhaps your emotions can improve a little bit.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend, grateful for our encounter! After reading your question, I sense your confusion, indecision, contradictions, and the distress that comes with being human. Even through the screen, I want to give you a big hug. Judgment is one of the functions of the brain, and it can happen unconsciously. Your question is well posed \u2013 does other people's matters concern me? In psychology, there is a cognitive-behavioral therapy that emphasizes personal boundaries. Whose matter is it? Mine? Yours? God's? In reality, boundaries are not so easily defined. Whose matter is it if it concerns your parents? It's their matter, easy to determine. But can you truly separate your parents' matters from your own? Clearly, that's not possible. The matter of both parents having an affair has caused you great harm, psychologically known as post-traumatic stress disorder. You are especially sensitive about personal moral issues, and overthinking is called \"rumination\" in psychology. Rumination refers to repeatedly thinking about negative events, negative emotions about oneself, and the causes and possible consequences of events. For example, \"Why did this happen to me?\" \"Why am I often unhappy while others are happy?\" \"Will being frequently unhappy lead to depression?\" In severe cases, thoughts may become incessant. It is as if everyone in life is a nail, and you happen to be holding the hammer. Both judgment and sensitivity to moral issues are present at this stage, and it is who you are in this moment. Accepting their existence might bring you some ease. Thank you~.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, good evening! After reading your description, I really want to give you a virtual hug. These kinds of events can be confusing and even bewildering, causing you to question your own moral standards. Let me share my humble opinion, hoping to provide you with a different perspective to reexamine this situation. 1. Infidelity - what is infidelity? In my understanding, it refers to developing a relationship with someone else while already being in a marriage or committed relationship, indicating a partial detachment from the family or partner and thus considered unethical. It is clear that both infidelity and morality are concepts created by people. The root cause of infidelity lies in unmet internal needs being fulfilled externally. 2. The truth of the hurt - I believe you must be very sad and upset about the situation with your parents. This sadness and upset are not caused by the infidelity itself; rather, infidelity represents the division of your parents, indicating that the once united family seems to have been torn apart and no longer cohesive. Perhaps your parents' actions have deeply hurt you, as infidelity almost shatters the secure foundation you relied upon, leaving nothing but an empty shell. This is the truth of the hurt. 3. Judgment - I understand that you must be confused about this. Traditional education often leads us to unconsciously pass judgment, regardless of right or wrong. However, you should not question whether you are right or wrong; this is an automatic reaction. 4. Boundaries - Each person is an independent individual, and the actions of your parents or roommates are their own choices, their own needs. You only need to act according to your own values, guarding your boundaries, which is the greatest respect for yourself and others. Everyone will have their own needs, and morality is a definition created by people. Whether you adhere to it or deviate from it, it all stems from internal needs. It is also someone else's matter. By following your own heart, protecting and nurturing yourself, you are doing the most important thing. Good luck to you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, this is a very headache-inducing and distressing issue, and I understand you.\u2460 How to view \"infidelity\"? \"Morality\" is a social convention, and it has a social background. Morality is not defined by any specific standards, so each person has their own moral standards. You, your parents, your friends, and roommates are all independent individuals, and each of you will have your own moral standards. Is \"infidelity\" right or wrong? In the movie \"The Love That Ties Us Together,\" both spouses acknowledge that they have their own \"boyfriends\" and \"girlfriends,\" which are extramarital lovers. They even meet and get to know each other's \"boyfriends\" and \"girlfriends,\" and introduce them to their children. It's a scene of \"joyful harmony.\" In the past, or in certain countries and regions today, men could have multiple wives and concubines. In such social contexts, how is \"male infidelity\" defined in terms of morality? So, you will also have your own view on \"infidelity\" and your own moral standards. You just need to live according to your own moral standards. You don't have to \"accept\" their moral system, and in reality, it is difficult to understand their moral system as well. Of course, you can evaluate their moral system internally and whether you should \"correct\" their moral system and make them align with yours is another matter that requires consideration. \u2461 How to get along with \"infidel family and friends\"? For someone who doesn't accept infidelity, it is difficult to face it easily when it comes to close relatives and friends. You can only say that this is just a part of them, although this part is very important to you. They also have many other parts, such as taking care of you when you are sick or being kind to others, etc. Try your best (can only say try your best) to see a more comprehensive picture of them, instead of solely focusing on their infidelity and rejecting them in various ways. If it is really uncomfortable to face them, then reduce the opportunities for interaction with them. As for ourselves, we need to clarify what kind of person we want to be and focus on being the best version of ourselves. I hope you can refrain from immersing yourself in thinking about these things every day, as it will make you unhappy. If there are things you can't understand now, just save them for later when you become more mature and revisit them then.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First, give the author a hug. I think you have your own perspective on the issue of infidelity. Based on your description, your mother cheated when you were young and even encouraged your father to do the same, and she denigrated him in front of you, saying \"If he did the same, he never considered me.\" She said this because she harbored resentment towards your father. Perhaps she didn't realize the impact of this statement on you and the serious blow it dealt to your beliefs. It's clear that your parents' dual infidelity had a significant impact on you, to the point where you punish yourself by constantly reflecting on every detail of your life and questioning whether you're right or wrong. Here, I'd like you to consider something: if your mother hadn't said that to you, would your father have cheated? It's hard to say, as that was his decision. Do you really think that anything you do could change the outcome of both your parents' infidelity? The truth is, it can't, because your parents made decisions that were not responsible toward you. You don't really need to bear the consequences of their mistakes. It's precisely because the issue of your parents' infidelity hasn't been resolved that your trauma has been triggered again when your roommate openly discusses infidelity in the dormitory. Perhaps your roommate has a different belief system, thinking \"It's my ability to snatch other people's boyfriends.\" That's why she talks about it in the dormitory and boasts about it. You feel uncomfortable about it, and personally, I also dislike infidelity, so I find myself judging when I listen to other people's experiences of infidelity. Such emotions and psychological reactions are normal because your views differ. However, everyone's formation of their own views is closely related to their upbringing and surrounding environment. Therefore, we have to accept one viewpoint, which is that things in this society are not as black and white or righteous triumphing over evil like in childhood cartoons. Instead, there are many gray areas. Good people also have undisclosed stories, and bad people have situations that led them down the wrong path. When you grow up, perhaps one day you will understand that even though people have different views, these views can coexist, and what each person says is not right or wrong, but rather a reflection of their perspective and position. If you can't accept her viewpoint, I don't think you need to force yourself to accept it. Just keep your distance respectfully, as you said, \"Choose to treat them like I don't know anything, perhaps that's safer.\" I think that is a good way to resolve the situation. Then you can choose to be friends with people who share the same values as you. But as for the trauma of your parents' infidelity, I suggest you seek counseling to resolve it, as it will be triggered by similar situations, and this is something you need to address. I hope you continue to get better.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5889
       },
       {
        "question": "Do local people here seem selfish and narrow-minded? Is it just me being narrow-minded? What should I do?",
        "description": "I really feel that the locals here are selfish and narrow-minded, and it's not just me who feels this way. In one department, out of four people, three are somehow related, while the other one being isolated is considered normal. And I am the outsider who is isolated. It makes sense for the company to have a policy against dating colleagues. The three of them are all from the 80s, and all they talk about every day is their families and relatives. I have absolutely no common ground with them!! I can't hold on much longer. What should I do? Is it because I am too narrow-minded and unwilling to communicate with them? Is it my problem?",
        "keywords": "Occupation, workplace relationships, work fatigue.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "That's right, it's your problem because you chose this company, and it seems that people in this company think that everyone in this city is the same. First of all, it's a matter of values. I don't know what kind of company you are in, but it doesn't seem very busy. As for the issue of nepotism, you didn't explain it clearly, so let's ignore that information for now. It's well known that it's difficult for people with different values to get along. Based on your description, it seems that this company has a problem with their values. They not only focus on work but also interfere with personal emotions. This is like behaving as if they are your elders! A company or organization should focus on creating value for society or maintaining certain aspects of social operations, instead of trying to act as elders for their employees. And what's more frustrating is that they may want to act like caring elders without taking up the responsibilities that come with it! It's ridiculous! Only someone like you, who can tolerate such things, would stay in a place with such a culture for a long time. People with less patience would have already planned their escape. In a company or organization with such a culture, it's normal to have three colleagues like yours. The saying \"birds of a feather flock together\" is extremely practical when the scope is small and options are available. Secondly, people often have no choice when it comes to their geographical location. So naturally, there will be some people living in this place who can't stand the things you can't stand. Therefore, when you think that people in this place are the same as the people in your department, it just means that you have no interaction with the other people here to the extent that you can't see this group of people. This also means that if you can change companies, units, or departments, you have no idea where to go. This is why you don't know what to do, because you don't know where to go to make your life less miserable. So if you really want to take action, you need to learn about this place, how other companies or organizations are, and get insider information by getting to know people. Expanding your network of friends is something you must do, and you can start by participating in some online activities. If you still refuse to take this action, then you have the problem of \"knowing that you've fallen into a pit but refusing to climb out.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, in an organization with a total of four people, three of them are already acquainted and naturally tend to communicate more with each other. The remaining person may feel like they have been left out and have difficulty fitting in. In addition, if you are not familiar with or interested in the topics they discuss, naturally you will feel like you have very few common topics with them. This is not because you are narrow-minded or unwilling to communicate with them; it is a common feeling. Because you are from out of town and not very familiar with the local area, and you don't have many acquaintances, it is normal to feel like you haven't integrated into the group. Perhaps you can proactively talk to them about work-related matters or discuss any problems you encounter in your life. Maybe you can also look for colleagues in other departments who you get along well with and develop a friendship with them. It may make you feel much better. In your daily life, you can also participate in community activities and go shopping or take walks during your days off. Maybe you will meet new friends. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12887
       },
       {
        "question": "A high school senior girl is having conflicts with her classmates, they see each other constantly and dislike her?",
        "description": "Originally, Girl A, Girl B, and I were good friends. At the beginning of this semester, Girl A told me that she felt like neither Girl B nor I considered her a genuine friend. She said that she couldn't fit in with us and that she was very sensitive. At that time, I was a little angry because I treated both of them the same and considered them good friends. Later on, we talked it out and made up. Normally, I would eat meals with Girl A, but last week, she suddenly wrote me a note saying that she no longer wanted to eat with me. I was very angry, and I didn't understand what thoughts were going through her sensitive and suspicious mind. With the overwhelming pressure of senior year, I really didn't want to listen to her complaints. So, I wrote her a strongly worded letter in response. She also wrote me a letter, and the entire letter was full of accusations, bringing up insignificant details from when we were together before, such as me taking too long to get ready one day, or not talking because I didn't want to be with her during physical education class. I never paid any attention to these things, but she took them to heart and made me feel exhausted. That letter was written as if I had committed some sort of violence on campus against her. Now, we are in a big fight, and our relationship is very tense. Girl B has been friends with me for a longer time, but she still treats Girl A the same way, which makes me feel uncomfortable. Thinking about all of these things, I am very annoyed. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, roommates, classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Hugs to you! From your statement, I understand that you may be feeling anxious right now, facing academic pressure and dealing with interpersonal relationships. You and female friends A and B are good friends, with A being more sensitive and perceptive. A felt that you treated her and B differently, but eventually, you made up. However, last week, A suddenly wrote a note saying she didn't want to eat with you anymore. In response, you wrote a strongly-worded letter, and she replied with accusations, making you feel uncomfortable, and causing a rift between you two. But B continues to treat A the same way, which also makes you uncomfortable. From what you've told me, you treated A and B the same, so why is A angry with you while B isn't? Perhaps it has to do with each person's own experiences and personalities. Everyone has their own way of living, and for A, she may feel angry because it's not how she sees things should be, while for B, it may not matter as much. Everyone has different ways of thinking, and we don't know what A has been through. If we can't change a person, maybe we can try to consider things from their perspective. In other words, the way she presents herself and handles things has always been like this and not directed at anyone in particular. One part that you might not understand is why B can still treat A the same way, even though you met her first. Let's try thinking from a different perspective. A and B have not had a conflict, and A has always treated B the same way. So, B will continue to interact with A as usual. In other words, although you had a conflict with A, I didn't, so I can still have contact with her the same way. Everyone sees other people differently, and maybe for B, it's just a normal interaction between classmates. For you, you're currently in your final year of high school and will soon face the national college entrance exam, which is a lot of pressure. We can try communicating with A to ease the relationship and stabilize your emotions, so you can fully focus on your studies. Lastly, I hope you can be admitted to your dream university. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~\nI can feel your frustration and distress. You're having a conflict with one of your close friends for some reason, and you don't know how to handle the relationship between the three of you. I understand your feelings very well. As a senior facing immense academic pressure, you're also troubled by interpersonal issues. It's evident that you have a great relationship with the other two friends, but your personality differs from that of friend A. She is more sensitive and tends to overanalyze your language and behavior towards friend B, even though you and friend B don't see it as excluding her. You both have exchanged letters where she criticized your past actions because these are things you never paid attention to, so they held no significance for you. However, they greatly troubled friend A, causing her to overthink and feel that you are indifferent towards her. OP and friend A have differing personalities, with OP being more carefree and not bothered by small things, while friend A is sensitive and tends to overanalyze minor actions. In reality, both of you care about each other and value this friendship, but have different ways of approaching the problem. OP can try to empathize with friend A's point of view and understand if the issues she raised truly exist and if OP would have similar thoughts if it happened to them. Of course, the most important thing is to communicate face-to-face, express your thoughts, and share your feelings. Additionally, OP should pay more attention to friend A in future interactions. Wishing OP can overcome the distress soon~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I understand that there is a lot of academic pressure in your senior year, and the difficulties in getting along with friends have added to your worries. Your friend is more attentive to details, while you don't place much importance on these details, which has led to conflicts between you. In a fit of anger, you wrote a strongly-worded letter to your friend, which made them feel attacked and they also started blaming you, expressing their grievances. You mentioned that you consider them a good friend. In fact, since you consider each other good friends, you need sincere communication and understanding. The conflicts that arise are not solely one person's fault. Without proper communication, misunderstandings can easily occur when everyone's needs are not met. Whenever you think about this incident, it makes you annoyed and regretful. It is probably not your intention to come to this point today. Senior year is also a time when friends need to learn from and encourage each other. Having conflicts at this time is detrimental to everyone. It may be better to find a suitable time to communicate with your friend, without blaming each other, both take a step back, and see if the conflict can be resolved.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your question, I can fully understand your concerns and inner distress. During the high school third year exam preparation stage, due to high levels of anxiety, many things can be magnified, leading to difficulty concentrating and being easily influenced by emotions. Friendship issues at this time are the result of both external and internal factors. Here, I can provide the following analysis and advice, hoping it can help you. Your friend \"a\" is a sensitive person, and in your previous interactions, she did not express any dissatisfaction with your relationship. However, choosing to speak up during the third year may be due to the increasing pressure of heavy academic workload this semester, leading to greater internal stress with nowhere to vent. When reflecting on your interactions, it is easy to generate feelings of dissatisfaction. But obviously, this doesn't mean that either of you is solely at fault, it only suggests that there may have been a lack of sufficient communication and exchange between you in the past, which has now surfaced during this particular period. The paper note exchange between you and \"a\" was not the best way to solve this problem. At that time, both of you were deeply entrenched in negative emotions and unable to handle the problem calmly. If you want to resolve the issue with your friend \"a\" properly, I hope you can sit down calmly and have a heartfelt conversation, fully understanding each other and making the other person feel the bond between you. A good friendship also requires cultivation, finding and resolving issues, and having conflicts is not a big deal as long as they can be resolved, it can make both of you closer. As for the issue between the three of you: there is often the saying \"in a friendship of three, there will always be one person extra\" on the internet, but clearly, this is incorrect. The trust and attraction between the three of you are the key factors maintaining your friendship. Regarding friend \"b's\" attitude towards friend \"a,\" I hope you can look at it objectively and calmly. Each person is an independent individual, and while you were attracted to each other to become friends, it doesn't mean that one person owns the other. The temporary conflicts between you and friend \"a\" are only your business and have nothing to do with others. Adjust your mindset, don't let this issue affect you too much. You can take the initiative to have a chat with \"a\" and express your attitude and proposed solutions, and see how \"a\" responds. Resolve the issue as soon as possible, whether it is continuing to be together or going your separate ways, both are good results. Don't feel troubled, after all, you have had good memories. In the journey of life, people come and go, some friends can accompany you to the end, some can accompany you for a certain distance, but they are all good companions on your life path, your wealth. Finally, I hope you can adjust your mindset as soon as possible and strive for the college entrance examination. Stay strong! Your personal mental health advisor around you. May my words bring you warmth! Also, thank you for reading, occasional passerby friends. Feel free to follow me and mark it as \"Helpful\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend: After reading your story, it seems that your friendship is very complex and fragile. Originally, your relationship was good, but it suddenly changed, and it's understandable that you find it difficult to cope with. Everyone hopes to get along harmoniously with the people around them, but because of the differences, it can be frustrating for you. I can empathize with you. Based on your words, it seems that A is indeed very sensitive. However, you don't agree with her perception of you, you can't accept her \"sensitivity.\" You are close friends with B, and you secretly desire B's validation. Seeing their unwavering friendship only makes you feel more lonely and unhappy. There are a few methods to free yourself from this pain. [First], openly express your feelings and meet up with A. Confess your vulnerability and let her know how much you suffer when you see her notes. You can tell her about your discomfort within. Also, tell her what you truly want. Open up to B as well and share your feelings about their friendship, expressing your sense of loneliness. Let A and B understand you, and at the same time, you can release your stress and emotions. [Second], try the empty chair therapy. Pretend to be different people and sit in three different positions, representing you, A, and B respectively, then have a conversation. There will be two possible outcomes: reconciliation or an understanding that resolving the issue is impossible. Through this method, you can understand each other's situations, realize your true feelings, and relieve stress. [Third], acceptance and respect are important. Whether it's through an honest conversation or role-playing, we must accept reality and respect fate. Accepting reality means acknowledging that your classmate is a sensitive person. Even if you don't agree with her, it's her fate, and respecting her fate and personality is a form of respect. Whether it\u2019s classmates, friends, or colleagues, we cannot change each other. Your upbringing has shaped you into who you are today, and it cannot be easily changed unless you choose to. Understand that in the world, there are both sensitive and non-sensitive people. There is no right or wrong, only existence, and they can coexist. Accept, respect, and forgive the differences and distinctions among everyone. [Fourth], leave it to fate. Inevitably, there will always be differences among people, and if certain areas cannot reach a consensus, you can entrust the problem to fate. After all, people have different limitations. Satisfying you may not satisfy others and vice versa. Therefore, for these unsolvable issues, you can leave it to fate and reduce some pressure on yourself. [Fifth], reflect on why you liked your classmate in the first place? When you initially considered her a friend, there must have been qualities that attracted you to her. Remembering these qualities can awaken the appreciation you initially had for her. Focusing on the benefits of the relationship can help reduce your sense of rejection and pain. Relationships always encounter obstacles. Trying to respect and accept, while letting go of the notion of right and wrong, will make it less difficult for you. The more you get to know someone, the more unexpected things you will discover. Therefore, respect and acceptance are lifelong lessons. I hope you won't be unhappy anymore! Your Friend: Audrey ---------------- Respecting, loving, uniting, and forgiving.\ufe0f.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after carefully reading what you wrote, I can understand your feelings. In our middle and high school years, we also had some small conflicts among friends, and now looking back, it's really beautiful. Let me say this, I hope you can relax. In fact, these innocent friendships are especially precious in the future. Once you enter college, the pace will accelerate, and it will be difficult to find such pure emotions, so cherish them. Secondly, let me try to help you address your current concerns. Overall, I think the three of you have a good relationship and care about each other, otherwise you wouldn't write these words or talk about your troubles, and she wouldn't say those insincere things in anger. Sometimes our words and actions are actually disguises and defenses for our true thoughts. For example, Girl A cares a lot about you and feels uncomfortable when she sees you being close with Girl B. She has told you that she feels like she doesn't fit in, and maybe you didn't fully understand or you didn't think it was a big deal, so she angrily said she won't have meals with you anymore. In response to her words, you also wrote a strongly worded letter out of anger, which further fueled her anger... The root cause is still that you both care about each other, and actually have a good friendship, showing concern for each other, but neither is willing to lower their head and admit their true feelings, admit their jealousy, and admit that they care about each other. Instead, you both use the opposite approach to make each other guess. Since you said you are already in your senior year, you really shouldn't spend too much energy on these things, especially friends should not engage in inner conflicts. So, I think you can save your friendship and also improve your mood. When you calm down, you can take the opportunity to write a sincere letter to Girl A, expressing your true thoughts and asking about her true thoughts, such as how you can all get along better, or what specific actions she hopes for. She will be happier with that. People all want others to care about and respect them, so when you say such things, she should feel embarrassed to stay angry. Everyone can let go of their past grievances and focus on studying. I don't think you have any major problems with each other. Don't let these small things affect your relationship or your academics. Also, you can joke around privately and girls should also be a bit more assertive. Don't be too sentimental, just focus on studying and help each other, working towards your goal of getting into college together! Best wishes to all of you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems that interacting with your classmates has brought you some troubles. Each individual is independent when we interact with others, so we all have different feelings. And everyone's feelings are important. I can see that because of the feedback from person A and person B, it triggers angry emotions in you. Have you ever thought about the reason why it makes you angry? Perhaps by seriously considering this question, you may find some answers.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5235
       },
       {
        "question": "We have been together for six years and have broken up over thirty times. Are my boyfriend and I suitable for each other?",
        "description": "We have been together for six years, and have broken up over thirty times. It was always me who initiated the breakups. He treated me very well, and being together felt very relaxed. However, we have different perspectives, especially when under a lot of pressure, we can't communicate and often blame and criticize each other, saying the most hurtful things. Every time I am going through a difficult time, our conflicts escalate into a full-blown cold war. This has made me lose hope in the future of our marriage, and I have countless sleepless nights, tears, and depression. Many of his habits are things I dislike, for example, we have argued countless times over him not carrying a backpack when going out, and we have broken up numerous times over it. It took him over two years to realize that carrying a bag for his girlfriend is not embarrassing and finally compromise. I feel like I have used my entire youth to teach him how to love a girl, and I am exhausted. I have given up countless times, but at the same time, I am moved by his persistence, insistence, and his limited companionship. I have realized more than once that our values are not aligned. Although there have been times when our values were aligned, they were mostly during times when we had time and energy for romance. As soon as the pressure builds up, no matter how many times we try, we cannot communicate. I want a relationship where we understand and respect each other. I am confused if we are truly suitable for each other. Is this relationship constantly draining me?",
        "keywords": "Love, arguments, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Love for six years, whenever there is pressure, you both can't face it together, but instead blame each other and project your own anxieties onto each other, expecting the other person to comfort you. You repeat the same communication pattern over and over again, without learning from it, without making any improvements, and without growing. You only resolve your emotions by breaking up and giving each other the cold shoulder. Is that right? This entangled relationship may satisfy your emotional needs. Some girls just like this kind of entangled relationship because only in this high-intensity emotional interaction can you feel a sense of existence, feel loved, and gain some sense of value. But ultimately, it's all because you lack love. This is the \"emotional value\" that the other person cooperates with you, or you both cooperate with each other. However, over time, this unbalanced, entangled, and exhausting relationship will eventually come to an end. When one party is unwilling to cooperate, the relationship will end. The reason why you can still be entangled now is because you are both still gaining something from this relationship. A good relationship can nourish each other and become a driving force to resist risks and pressures together. It seems that neither of you have grown, and you don't truly love each other. Both of you are more in love with yourselves. You may fight with the guy over not wanting him to carry your backpack, but you completely disregard his wishes, and that is not love. If you have the opportunity, girl, you really need to reflect on yourself from past experiences and look at your emotional patterns. Don't always blame it on mismatched values. Even if you don't end up with this person, only when you grow, can you attract the right person and have a good relationship. Grow first, and then pursue love! May you love yourself and find someone who truly loves you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4219
       },
       {
        "question": "23-year-old male, unable to follow the methods in books, unsure how to manage emotions.",
        "description": "I don't know how to deal with my emotions anymore. I've been trying to change and manage my emotions, but I still find myself frequently avoiding and feeling low, just like before. I want to know if it would be better to not overthink things too much now. Previously, my emotions had a big impact on my actions, and I didn't know how to manage them. So, I read books and tried some methods from them to manage my emotions, but the results were not satisfactory because I couldn't achieve them consistently. I realized that I tend to overthink things a lot, and I would often get scared of things I imagine before doing something, which leads me to frequently avoid them. My weight has been increasing since I started college due to anxiety. I don't know what to do anymore, and I would like to hear everyone's opinions.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotion regulation, emotional intelligence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand how you feel right now, and I want to give you a hug! Psychological research shows that extreme emotional reactions often stem from long-term anger and feelings of inferiority. This anger is not directed towards the outside world, but towards dissatisfaction with oneself and a sense of powerlessness to control the world. This internal chaos and loss of control are just one step away from affecting others. We must understand that life is full of disappointments, and it is impossible for a person to experience smooth sailing throughout their entire life without any dissatisfaction. Everyone has their bad days, but the seed of negativity lies dormant within us, waiting to stir up trouble. It silently lurks in the shadows, observing our thoughts, and once it finds the slightest opportunity to exploit, it will seize it and provoke a response, causing you to either become despondent or explode in anger, leading to actions that harm yourself and others. No matter what challenges you encounter, remember that life is short. Instead of letting your emotions control you, it is better to adjust your mindset, let go of absolutist perspectives, and try to approach everything with an optimistic attitude. Make yourself the master of your emotions and \"smile in the face of adversity, and take losses lightly.\" Approach your emotions scientifically, distinguish between different types of emotions, manage them well, and live each day in happiness. Finally, I'll leave you with this phrase: \"Smile in the face of adversity, and take losses lightly.\" Keep giving yourself a smile every day and persevere, because you are a winner...",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 355
       },
       {
        "question": "The couple's relationship is not very strong, and their child has a rare disease. How should they face it?",
        "description": "The child is now less than 2 years old and has been diagnosed with a rare disease. The chances of a cure are very small. Every day, the child is going through changes, both physically and behaviorally. When alone, the child bursts into tears. The child's fate is really unfair and heartbreaking. I don't know how to go on every day, especially because my relationship with my husband is not very stable. The child's situation makes it even harder for me to face everything in life rationally.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In your description, I can see your confusion and helplessness. I hope to give you a warm and empowering hug. A rare disease in a child under the age of 2 has made you even more perplexed, especially when your relationship with your spouse was already unstable. Life is supposed to be full of joy, but for you, it has been full of hardships. While life is inherently equal, your child was born different from others. Heaven is fair, but also unfair. Right now, the most important thing may be for you to accept this fragile child from your heart and care for him with the best love, embodying your humanity and motherhood. We also know that love can work miracles in many cases. Like this story: Relatives and friends anxiously asked a mother, \"Why does your child always daydream alone? Does he have a mental problem? Shouldn't you take him to the hospital for a check-up?\" The mother firmly replied, \"My child is perfectly fine. You don't understand. He is not daydreaming, he is contemplating. He will become an extraordinary university professor in the future.\" That young boy was Albert Einstein, one of the greatest scientists of the 20th century. Perhaps it was an unintentional remark from the parents, but for a young child, it was a massive affirmation and encouragement, filling the child's future with hope and making him more confident and brave to pursue his dreams... A few words from parents can truly impact a child's entire life! At the same time, consider nurturing your relationship with your husband. A loving foundation is essential for a child's happiness. It is recommended to seek support from a counselor for personal growth. I am here, and the world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3780
       },
       {
        "question": "Can I take leave if I work for a state-owned enterprise and suffer from depression?",
        "description": "I work at the power supply bureau, and due to work pressure and the separation from my wife and children, I have developed depression. Can I take sick leave from my company?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, mental disorders.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there. In your situation, you can take a leave of absence. First, you need to understand the leave policy within your company. Since this involves personal privacy, it is best to resolve it privately and protect your personal privacy. It would be ideal to assess your recovery progress and severity. If you have been under a lot of work pressure recently, you can use your vacation time to adjust your mood, consider it as giving yourself a break, and allocate more time for yourself. Shift your focus and do many things that you didn't have time to do before due to work. The most important aspect of treating depression is to understand your own feelings. Spend more time with your family, experience the love and warmth in everyday life, which can help you recover and maintain a positive state of mind. Your health is the most important thing. After you have regulated your emotions, you can better embrace the future. Best wishes to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. I hope my response can bring you some help. OP mentioned that they work at the power supply bureau and have developed depression due to work stress and being separated from their spouse and children. They are unsure if they can take sick leave from their company. Of course, you can. Depression is no different from any other illness. If you are sick, it's just like having pneumonia or any other physical illness. You need to take leave. Additionally, I suggest actively seeking treatment and not ignoring depression. Keep fighting and get better. I have a few suggestions for treating depression: 1. Don't hide it, and don't feel ashamed. Depression is a common illness in modern society. We should treat it just like we treat physical illnesses - actively take medication and seek treatment. 2. Alongside medication, consider psychological counseling to help with recovery. Depression can have psychological causes in addition to physiological ones. With the help of a counselor, you can receive professional guidance to manage emotions and adjust your thinking. 3. Connect with others who have experienced depression. When you are with others, you won't feel alone or isolated. You can search for the \"Overcoming\" public account on WeChat. It is a social support group for depression initiated by Dr. Zhang Jin. The members have either experienced depression or are currently undergoing treatment. You can gain a lot of related knowledge and support from there. 4. Stay connected with society. If possible, take some time to go home and talk to friends, have heartfelt conversations, awaken the inner strength, feel the vitality of society, and relieve the pressure in your heart. Keep persevering, and I wish you a speedy recovery!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I want to give you a warm embrace and let you feel that at this moment, you are not alone in facing all of this. \"Depression\" is a diagnosis term that we are familiar with and increasingly encountering in our lives, whether it is in state-owned enterprises or elsewhere, it can generally be understood to some extent. The truth is that everyone has a certain probability of experiencing depressive emotions, maybe due to external environmental pressures, or perhaps originating from physiological reasons... The causes are complex. For you, the pressures from work and being separated from your wife and children are definitely factors worth considering. However, before labeling yourself with this \"label,\" it is necessary to go to the psychology department of a hospital for a proper diagnosis by a professional doctor. So, if you receive a diagnosis, you can ask the doctor if they can provide you with a sick leave note for a few days. With a sick leave note, it should be relatively smoother for you to take sick leave in the company. Of course, we also need to recognize the fact that the experiences of individuals may not completely resonate with each other. It is possible that the personnel of the company may not fully empathize with your feelings of depression. In this case, we may need to understand this and explain our situation with the sick leave note from the doctor, expressing our needs and feelings in a calm manner. Generally, companies have privacy and confidentiality settings regarding employees' health conditions, so there is no need to worry too much about it affecting yourself. Finally, I want to say that regardless of whether the company or others can understand, your inner feelings are the most important. \"Depression\" itself is actually neutral, like a small signal from within, telling you that perhaps your heart is a bit weary and needs some rest; perhaps your life is facing significant pressure and requires understanding and change. So, please give yourself more time to recover, more tolerance and acceptance. You will certainly be able to get through this period well. Hang in there!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Everyone has already analyzed a lot and analyzed it well. I would like to give you some new perspectives from my point of view, hoping it will be helpful to you: 1. If it is diagnosed as depression, depression is also a type of illness, and you can definitely take sick leave. However, if your depression is caused by being separated from your wife and child, a short-term sick leave may just be a temporary solution, while a long-term sick leave may mean that you will be in a low-income state for a long time. So, taking sick leave is only a temporary solution, and you need to think about what to do next, whether it's changing jobs or adjusting your own mental state to overcome it. This is a question you need to consider. 2. Is your work the type that can be done remotely? My husband and I are living abroad, and my husband also works in a distant place. However, considering the psychological state of our family and employees, the company allows us to work remotely as appropriate. Have you considered discussing with your employer about changing the current way of working based on your current mental condition?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that you have summarized a lot of content in just a few sentences, and I can feel your inner embarrassment. Whether or not to take a leave of absence and how to do it are matters between you and the company's human resources department. It is worth paying attention to your depression caused by your work stress and the separation from your spouse and children. Do you feel more stressed from work or from being away from your spouse and children? The work stress is rated on a scale of 5, with higher scores indicating greater pressure. The same goes for the separation from your spouse and children, with ratings based on the same criteria. After self-evaluation, if you find that work stress is too high, consider whether it is due to interpersonal relationships or simply a heavy workload. If it is the pressure from being away from your spouse and children that is greater, then go back home, as life always involves weighing and making sacrifices.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Not necessarily a reply, and I'm not sure if it will help you, but it's quite a coincidence, our situations are nearly the same, except I'm currently unmarried. We both work for the power company, work away from home, and suffer from anxiety and depression. The depression assessment indicates moderate depression, and I've even had suicidal thoughts. I've been working for a year and a half, and this state started in August of this year (I changed positions in August and often receive late-night phone calls and messages). I completely broke down last week and talked to my family about it. My parents agreed that I should change jobs (because I work in a city not far from their hometown in the northwest). Currently, finding another job in my field is not a problem, and I could also take the civil service exam. The only downside is that the benefits will be lower, probably around 60-70% of what I currently earn, and I will lose the company pension. However, I value my health more than money. I would rather choose good health than be miserable every day, eventually getting sick, both physically and mentally. Not long ago, I had unexplained stomach pain and would vomit when I got angry. The tests couldn't find any reasons. I'm not ready to quit my job just yet, and I also considered whether I could take some time off from work for my depression. However, I realized that I haven't gone to the hospital for a check-up, so I can't be certain if it's depression or just a low mood (I've looked up information and it seems more like a low mood). Also, because I'm unmarried, there will definitely be situations like yours in the future, and I will probably settle in the provincial capital city in order to have better healthcare and education. So, for my current situation, my plan is to take the civil service exam while still employed, and if I pass, I will quit my job. Also, I've become a bit shameless, once I finish my work, I don't work overtime, and if others are willing to work extra hours, I let them. I utilize my free time to study and try not to get caught up in the competitiveness. This week, it's only Tuesday, but I already feel much better. They are working overtime on the weekends, but my work is done, so I don't go back to the office (my current position is a special one). I suggest you consider carefully what you want and what is most important to you. Also think about the possibility of either you or your wife transferring jobs or one of you quitting and finding work in the other's location. Consider which option would be more beneficial for the whole family, including financially and in terms of work intensity. I also noticed that you have children, so you need to think about their education as well. No matter what, the fact that we are actively seeking advice indicates that our psychological state hasn't deteriorated completely. Keep going! There will always be a solution.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, first of all, I understand and sympathize with your situation. I want to give you a big hug and let you feel the warmth of the world. Regarding the question of whether you can take leave, I think it depends on the severity of your depression. If it is seriously affecting your work, studies, or if you need a vacation to recover and adjust yourself, then it is necessary. However, if it's only mild and not too severe, perhaps you can try to rely on daily social interactions or other external forces to help yourself recover. After all, depression can vary in severity. If you don't take it seriously from the beginning, it will only worsen over time, which is not beneficial to your health and work. So, the first thing you need to assess right now is how severe your depression is. Have you sought professional consultation or evaluation for your depression? If your depression has already severely affected your studies, work, and life, then as long as you provide a report showing your condition, I believe your company will grant you leave. After all, as the number of people with depression increases, more attention will be given to this issue, and there will be more caring and support for this group. I wish you happiness and joy, OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You want to take leave and reunite with your wife and children, but you're a bit worried, as if you're afraid it will affect your work or that your leave will not be understood or approved due to depression. Generally speaking, mild to moderate depression can be treated while working, but severe depression often hinders daily work performance. Depression is gradually becoming better known, and if your supervisor has some understanding of depression, they may approve your leave and allow you to take the time off to recover before returning to work. However, there are still some people who cannot understand the suffering of those with depression and may think it's just a matter of not being able to handle things or making a fuss out of nothing. If you encounter such a leader, you may encounter some trouble if you use depression as a reason for leave, which could potentially affect your future career development. While work is important, so is your health. Only with mental and physical well-being can you perform better at work. If you feel that your mental and physical condition is not good and you need time to recover, you must take timely rest and seek treatment. Sometimes, the occurrence of physical and mental illnesses is our body's silent expression, revealing some needs that are difficult to express in words. While the work stress and being apart from your wife and children that you mentioned may indeed be the practical causes of depression, these practical factors are just part of the many factors that can lead to illness, and they can be adjusted and changed. For a better recovery, you may need the help of a psychologist to find your inner causes and to grow and change.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 219
       },
       {
        "question": "Whenever I hear bad news, I always hope that there is someone who will make jokes with me.",
        "description": "I always thought that I was accepted into No.1 High School, but on the day when the acceptance letter arrived, my mother called the teacher to ask whether I was accepted into No.1 High School or No.3 High School. The teacher said No.3 High School. At that moment, I really hoped that the teacher would call again and say that they had read it wrong, and that I was accepted into No.1 High School.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\uff5eI want to give you a warm hug\uff5e I understand your feelings very well. I also feel the same way. When I hear news that is not ideal, I hope others will tell me that it is not true. But actually, these are just excuses for us to \"escape\". Avoiding something doesn't mean that it will happen again. So no matter what happens, we have to learn to accept it. It's normal to feel upset when we encounter undesirable things or results. But since we can't change it, after feeling upset for a while, let's quickly tidy up our emotions and accept the result. Maybe we don't need to imagine the unexpected result as so terrible. It is a result and also a new beginning. Just like being admitted to the third high school, it will be your new start. As long as you study diligently and complete the tasks, you will ultimately achieve the same good result.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 9,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 9,
            "end": 50,
            "type": "Self-disclosure"
           },
           {
            "start": 50,
            "end": 87,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 87,
            "end": 105,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 105,
            "end": 128,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 128,
            "end": 162,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 162,
            "end": 197,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 197,
            "end": 219,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 219,
            "end": 248,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11328
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I get a divorce if my husband and child disrespect me by being defiant or ignoring me?",
        "description": "My child is ten years old, and recently they have been using harsh language to confront me, saying things like \"Aren't you annoying?\" or \"So what if I don't do my homework?\" The same words, when said by my husband, are followed by immediate compliance from the child. I personally analyze this as an influence from my husband who has always lacked respect towards me. He often rolls his eyes or ignores what I say. Even when the child was young, they would tell me that they felt I liked their father but he didn't like them. My husband often finds fault with me in front of the child. On the other hand, I show more respect for my husband's opinions and often speak positively about him in front of the child. I don't know if this environment has caused the child's attitude towards me and I don't know how to handle it. Should I get a divorce in this kind of family?",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage concept, divorce, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. In your usual married life, your husband always disrespects you, which leads to your 10-year-old child constantly challenging you with strong language. I can feel your helplessness in not being respected in this family. It's good to know that you are making efforts to solve this problem. This matter needs to be considered on a case-by-case basis. Your relationship with each other is actually not bad, but he doesn't know how to express himself or communicate with you. Your husband doesn't love you that much, so he shows impatience and blames you in daily life. If it's the first situation, you need to communicate with him, tell him your thoughts, and discuss together to both make changes. I believe that through your joint efforts, this situation will definitely improve. You and your husband need to educate your child together and teach him to respect his parents. If it's the second situation, if you don't want to continue with the current life, you can choose to divorce. After all, life is short, and you should choose a happier life. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The one lacking personal charm is you, and the one being brazen, rough, and ignorant is your husband. Try doing the following: 1. Stop showing your respect and tolerance towards your husband in front of the children. 2. Develop shared interests with your son and use the advantage of adult thinking to appropriately challenge and defeat him, gaining his admiration. 3. Speak less and do more, avoiding opportunities for your husband to ignore you. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3667
       },
       {
        "question": "Reading motivational and psychology books, what can psychological counseling really help me with?",
        "description": "I have read some books on success, inspiration, and psychology. For example, many books talk about how great it is to become a confident person. But even after reading them, I don't find them helpful. Do I not already know that I need to become a confident, optimistic, and brave person? I just don't know how to become one. However, the books don't provide any methods. Do I need to figure it out on my own? I have some issues in my mind. I know their causes, but I don't know how to solve them. Will seeking counseling help me find solutions? Or ultimately, do I have to rely on myself? Am I too dependent on mental counseling?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, student growth, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can feel your confusion and worries from your description. It is true that many things we are not unaware of their importance, but knowing is one thing, and being able to do it is another. Sometimes we may even encounter a situation where we know the solution, but still can't do it. This is another kind of pain. Psychological counseling can first help us understand the reasons behind our current state, such as the lack of self-confidence, optimism, courage, and so on that you mentioned. There are also many different schools of thought in psychological counseling, and the approaches of different schools are also different. Some schools may help you adjust from a relational perspective, while others may focus on cognitive adjustment. But the general working principle is that the counselor and the client work together. In psychological counseling, the counselor is not only a guide or savior. In addition to cooperation, the client also needs to put in a great deal of effort and explore and discover together with the counselor, to achieve self-awareness and change. Therefore, psychological counseling does not solely rely on the counselor, nor is it for the client to solve their own problems alone. It is a collaborative work based on a therapeutic alliance to achieve counseling goals.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, classmate. In fact, self-confidence means \"believing in yourself\". When you see a book and think it's terrible, but others tell you it's a good book, what would you do? Would you doubt yourself, make yourself surrender, and force yourself to read the book? When you start doing something, do you hear a voice deep inside you implying that you definitely can't do it, and then feel a bit panicked and anxious? If you have just realized this, then you are still in the first stage: doubting yourself, not recognizing yourself, feeling inferior. In the second stage, you will start to resent, throw tantrums while studying, learn to complain, cry, feel uncomfortable, and feel that no one loves you in this world. Finally, you will enter the third stage and begin to acknowledge your own opinions, contemplate your existence and value. That being said, you need to personally experience and perceive these three stages. Many people stop at the first stage and believe that they are just such terrible people. Although I understand this concept, I just can't do it. Psychological counseling and reading can help speed up the entire process, making you realize that something is not right, \"Why am I so terrible when we are all human beings? Why can others do it but not me? This is unfair.\" I understand how you feel. There are various psychology books, success literature, and motivational books on the market, some good and some not so much, full of a lot of inspirational stories and anxiety-inducing content. Of course, these books have specific target audiences and there are people who like them and need them. As a reader, you need to select books that suit you and distinguish which ones are useful and which ones are not. If your family upbringing is terrible and you are demanded too much by your parents, often sacrificing yourself to meet others' requests, if you need to vent and let out your anger, \"Wu Zhihong's book is a great outlet. She will tell you: Yes, these parents are indeed terrible parents.\" And if you want to find a way to deal with demanding parents, teachers, and elders, you need to read \"The Gaslight Effect\" because you are being manipulated like a puppet. If you feel inferior but are unsure where your inferiority comes from, Adler's \"Inferiority Complex\" is a great answer. However, Adler's solutions may leave you puzzled, as he actually says: Love others is to love oneself! At this point, you can read \"The Courage to Be Disliked\" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. It provides specific case studies to address your doubts. If you are a good child but feel repressed, \"Not Good\" by Kato Daisan can help you understand your problems, then start thinking about whether you should rebel a little. However, when you rebel, you will find yourself lost because after denying everything before, you will discover that you feel exhausted and have no direction. At this time, Viktor Frankl's \"Man's Search for Meaning\" can help you acknowledge your own meaning and value. The above are books I have read and found useful for myself. Of course, the effect of reading is subjective and varies from person to person. Each book has its own specific audience. If you don't like a book, please don't continue reading it and accept your own point of view: it's just not suitable for you. Please trust your own judgment. Psychological counseling is similar to reading. You need to find a therapist you like, let go of your guard, trust and acknowledge them, so that your treatment will be more effective. The whole process is painful and lengthy. You need to struggle with the voices in your mind over and over again, work hard to affirm yourself, and resist with all your might the voices saying \"you're not good\" or \"you're terrible\". But as long as you are willing to start, your efforts will definitely be rewarded.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your question, I think that while you are reading books, you are also reflecting and have your own confusion. Why is it that despite reading so many books, you still can't feel confident? When we read books, different books provide us with new perspectives and ways of thinking, allowing us to explore new things. Some books share personal experiences that we can relate to. We may also compare and categorize information to apply to ourselves. So why is it that reading so many books doesn't increase our confidence? Reading a book to gain new perspectives and ways of thinking is just the first step. Once we understand what we want or who we want to become, it is simply a goal. Next, we need to understand the benefits of confidence. While we can see the positive aspects, we have never experienced being a confident person and how it can change our lives. For example, when you lack confidence, you may be in a state of self-doubt, worrying about not doing well and feeling inadequate. In this case, try completing a small task and recognize or reward yourself emotionally or materially. Pay attention to how it makes you feel. You can also try telling yourself \"I'm going to doubt myself\" whenever you feel the need to criticize yourself. Instead, focus on the task itself and think about how you can do it well. Notice how this shift in mindset feels. Psychological counseling can also be helpful. In a communication and interpersonal interactive relationship, your suffering and lack of confidence need to be seen and understood. Allowing yourself to express these negative feelings can provide a sense of relief. From there, you can explore the reasons for these negative states and develop strategies to overcome them. It is a process of personal growth in terms of emotional experiences. I hope my answer can help you. Best of luck in encountering the best version of yourself on your growth journey!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, why do some people say \"knowing so much but not living a good life\"? This is somewhat similar to your confusion. Wang Yangming once proposed the concept of \"the unity of knowledge and action\", and some people say \"the furthest distance in the world is the distance between knowing and doing\". Regardless of how it is expressed, I believe it is relatively understandable. Many contents in books belong to the knowledge category, and many knowledge needs to be transformed into skills in order to be useful to me. During this transformation, persistence is also required to develop the right habits. In this process, there is a major factor called mindset. Therefore, \"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People\" summarized such a formula: KASH, a person who wants to succeed (or grow) needs to continuously grow in terms of knowledge, attitude, skills, and habits. Reading books or seeking psychological counseling cannot help you establish a stable habit because only you know whether you will do what the book says or what the counselor advises after putting down the books or leaving the counseling room. For example, there must be books that say improving self-confidence can be done like this: start by doing small things or things you are good at, experience the feeling of success, and then you will establish the belief that \"I can do it\". Then keep challenging yourself to continuously improve your abilities. However, what exactly are the \"small things\" that you are good at or can try to do, the books or counselors may not be able to tell you. Some people may feel that cooking can give them a sense of accomplishment, some people may think it's a certain sport, and some may be public speaking... So, to turn the knowledge from books or the counseling room into your own skills, you have to do it yourself and persist. I hope the above suggestions will inspire you. Thank you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If you come here to ask for advice, of course, I would recommend that you read books on psychology. I enjoy psychology, and it has brought me many benefits. However, everyone is different, what I want may not be what you like, and what you want may not be what I know. What you should read depends on what goals you want to achieve. If you want to become a confident person, you need to understand your uniqueness and believe in your abilities. If you want to become an optimistic person, you need to love life. As for being brave, you need to have the courage to take responsibility. I have read some books on psychology and inspiration, and I have also read some books on communication. They can be helpful at times and guide us when we reflect later, preventing us from going astray. But saying they are not useful doesn't have much impact, after all, our emotions can vary when reading new books, and we may not fully understand or believe them. The most important thing is that the true essence of someone's thoughts cannot be fully expressed in a book, that is called tacit knowledge, and it is difficult to express in words. If you like reading, let me recommend a book to you. It's not about inspiration, nor can it be classified as psychology. It feels more like philosophy. It's about the philosophy of love, titled \"The Art of Loving\" by Erich Fromm. The advantage of this theme is that even if we understand a little, it can be helpful to us, regardless of whether we use it in everyday life or not. Fromm, from a dialectical perspective, tells us what love is and what it is not, what mature love is and what it is not, how love accompanies our growth, the development of love throughout history, and its manifestations in the present, among many theories of love. And in the end, there are practical methods. This book has been very helpful to me. I recently found a good physical copy, and I have read it more, gaining even more insights. I recommend it to almost everyone. If you have read books on psychology and inspiration, this one should complement them and have a one plus one greater than two effect. If you like my answer, be sure to give it a thumbs up. Remember my recommendation, it will be helpful to you. I wish you confidence and humility, optimism and openness, bravery and skill, becoming someone who is truly capable of love.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I will try to answer your questions. First, about methods to build confidence. There are two ways, internal and external. Externally, we can observe confident people and imitate their behavior. For example, walking with a straight posture, head held high, and a confident pace. Speaking with strength, expressing opinions, looking others in the eye, and being at ease. Being able to get along with colleagues and friends while maintaining one's own personality. Internal confidence is the true confidence. It comes from self-awareness and personal growth. Recognizing strengths and weaknesses, facing one's own shortcomings, and maintaining a balanced attitude toward others. Finally, regarding the role of counseling in personal growth. Counseling is the process where trained professionals use psychological techniques to assist individuals in resolving their psychological issues. The keyword here is \"assistance.\" The change comes from you, and the counselor is just there to assist you. The goal of cognitive-behavioral counseling is to help individuals become their own counselors in the future. I hope this answer can provide some guidance and inspiration for you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, your question is very good, just like you said, \"in the end, it's up to oneself\"! The biggest difference between psychological counseling and studying on your own is that, after learning some methods, gaining knowledge, and adjusting cognition, you can gradually establish a new mode of interaction with others and yourself through continuous practice and confirmation in genuine contact with a real person. It's like giving yourself an internship period. A psychotherapist will provide a \"warm, supportive, non-judgmental\" and safe environment in their work, helping the individual change step by step, and at the same time, assisting the individual in gradually applying these new experiences to real life. The above is my personal point of view, for reference only.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your description, it shows that you have thought it through seriously and have indeed approached the practical application level rather than just staying at the theoretical level to think about the issue. This is a very good idea. If I tell you that self-confidence or inferiority is actually a pseudoproposition, a set of words constructed, I don't know what you would think? And within the field of psychology, each school interprets the meaning of inferiority and self-confidence differently. So, which interpretation are you willing to accept? Generally speaking, self-confidence or inferiority is the result of positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement. In the end, the operable part of this theory is to start from the little things in your life. If you think you can do it and have no problem doing it, then you have self-confidence. That's what self-confidence is all about. So, it's right for you to apply your thoughts to methods. You just need to approach the problem with a method, then test and verify it to see if it works for you. In the end, you will have your own experience, thoughts, and thinking patterns. That's progress. I'm actually saying all of this for one useful point, which is to start with the things around you that you still feel able to do and gradually do them to the extreme, just like challenging levels. You can let go of the words self-confidence and inferiority and directly approach the specific problems you are facing. This will give you a tangible object in front of you, not empty or vague.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3718
       },
       {
        "question": "This morning, I finally lost the only stranger who was close to me because of my indifference.",
        "description": "Ihatetheworld. Only when experiencing insomnia can one truly understand their own heart, with all the black venomous snakes creeping out, like zombies resurrecting, gnashing their teeth and claws, vying with one another. Unexplainable anger, rage, fleeing for one's life, speechless, only left with foul language, only left with wickedness. In this world, power and money reign supreme, no one gives a shit about me, no one to rely on. Only oneself can become strong. What does it mean when they say poor people have sensitive and inferior thinking, while rich people have honest, peaceful, and optimistic thinking? What is one's worldview? What does it mean when they say I haven't formed the correct perspective on things? What does it mean to be abnormal? Life is so absurd. What is warmth? Nobody fucking cares about me. Am I selfish? Can I not care about others? Speechless. Speechless. Poured my heart out on an app, no one pays attention to me. Participated in a topic, \"What did you give up in 2020?\" I wrote two words, \"speaking\". In this cynical world, why would anyone give it a thumbs-up? Thumbs-up? Who invented that? I'm just flamboyant and selfish. I'm just a jerk. I'm just anti-social. I want to kill people. I hate you all. My indifference drove away the only person who approached me, she bid farewell to me this morning. I built up high walls, no one comes near. Once someone tries to connect, it becomes awkward and stiff. I have lost the ability to love. \"Notes from the Underground\" \"The Piano Teacher.\"",
        "keywords": "Emotions, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "No, you don't lose the ability to love. Love and being loved are instinctual for humans, they don't need to be learned. The reason why you may not be able to love others is possibly due to some social barriers that prevent you from loving and caring for others. We need to understand that our past experiences of being disliked can affect us, but it only has power over our present behavior if we allow it. We can start making changes from small details in the present, by being proactive in showing kindness and goodwill to others, even with simple gestures like a smile! The more gentle our tone, the more likely it is to be reciprocated with kindness. Of course, we can also solve specific problems by practicing and preparing in advance (people with social barriers are usually very nervous and afraid, the core fear being the fear of being rejected, laughed at, or not being accepted). You can list the situations where you may feel social anxiety, such as meetings, events, speaking engagements, or presentations. You can rehearse the entire process and imagine which points make you most anxious. How do you plan to resolve and care for yourself? Lastly, consider what the worst possible outcome might be, and how you would handle it. After attempting these steps, you can summarize the results as follows: 1. What did I do well or make progress on in this situation? 2. What areas can be improved? 3. How can I do better next time? By thinking of targeted coping strategies, you will naturally display your instinct to love and be loved. This way, you can improve and grow in every social experience.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21301
       },
       {
        "question": "I have never experienced a complete love, what is missing deep inside me?",
        "description": "I'm 24 years old this year, and from my early teens until now, I have never had a complete love experience or had a girlfriend. When I was young, my family would treat me well one moment and then scold and hit me the next, which led to my habit of overeating when I get angry. During middle school, I became overweight and felt that many people were making fun of me. Later, I started to lose weight, and there was a girl I found very beautiful. I told my friends about her and they encouraged me to confess my feelings to her. I did so through writing a letter, but all I got back was a letter from her with a pig drawing and a rejection. I felt really responsible and down at that time. Since then, I have never truly confessed my feelings to anyone, whether online or in real life. I always think in my heart that I will meet them again when I become a bit thinner. Later on, besides being in a severe car accident, I felt that I cannot have any regrets. But I realized that I tend to get emotional when the relationship is not yet confirmed. I'm always worried that they will leave, and if they mention their ex-boyfriends, I feel a bit unhappy and unfair. If they don't answer my calls or messages, I start to write long paragraphs. I know it's my own problem, but this issue has been bothering me for a long time.",
        "keywords": "Love, being single, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ Sending you a big hug. I can sense your sadness from your words and I can understand how you feel. It's okay, everything will slowly get better. Let me share a bit of my perspective with you, hoping it can help you. Regardless of anything, please believe in yourself. The main confusion for the author seems to be about what is missing deep inside their heart. I think it might be due to their childhood family environment leading to emotional eating and weight gain, which resulted in a lack of confidence due to being teased. Here, I want to share a quote that I really like: \"The reason why humans can accomplish is because they believe that they can.\" So no matter what you encounter, the first thing you need to do is believe in yourself. The famous Dunning-Kruger effect states that the strong may not necessarily be winners, but eventually the winners will be those who have confidence. In other words, if you only accept the best, then what you will ultimately get is often the best. As long as you have confidence, your ability to succeed in something is 85% determined by your attitude and 15% by your intelligence. Therefore, a person's success depends on whether they are confident. If someone is insecure, that insecurity will strangle their intelligence and wear down their willpower. I feel really sorry for what the author experienced in their childhood, but now we have grown up and there are many things that we have control over. Let go of the past and start becoming confident from now on. Tell yourself every day, \"I am the best.\" Constantly use positive affirmations to motivate yourself, and I believe you will gradually build up your self-confidence. Be brave and try new things. Gu Cheng once said, \"You don't want to plant flowers because you don't want to see them wither away bit by bit. Yes, in order to avoid the end, you avoid all beginnings.\" In fact, some things need to be tried in order to know the results. Even though you were rejected when confessing your feelings before, it's okay. The path of love is always bumpy, and it is because of this that love is so desirable. Everyone has their own opinions, and just because you were rejected before doesn't mean you will be rejected now and in the future. There will always be someone who recognizes your worth and comes running towards you in the vast ocean of people. So, dear author, be brave from now on. Take one small step at a time, and eventually it will become a big step. Meeting someone you like is not easy, don't miss out. Even if you get rejected, you won't regret it because at least you tried. Make a plan and strive to become excellent. From your description, it seems like you don't like it when the other person brings up their previous partner and you are afraid that they won't respond to you. This might be due to a lack of security and to some extent, it might be because you care too much about the other person, leading to feelings of anxiety. Try to focus on yourself and become strong. Take care of your body. Pursue your interests and find your own strengths and passions. Learn to love yourself and others. It's not to say that you are not already great, but there is always room for improvement, as no one is perfect. Because excellent people are attractive to each other, in this way, perhaps you won't worry about them leaving. Lastly, I hope you can get out of your current state as soon as possible and meet a girl who only comes for you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. What you lack in your heart is love, which has led to a lack of self-confidence and a lack of security. It may be due to being scolded and inconsistent behavior from your family when you were young, which made you feel unloved. Later on, gaining weight and being mocked by others, even being cruelly rejected by the girl you liked, caused a lack of self-confidence. These emotional experiences also made you lack a sense of security when it comes to relationships, always worrying that they will leave or stop liking you. To address your smaller issue, if you can't receive love from others, you should first learn to love yourself and make peace with yourself. If it's your weight that causes your lack of self-confidence, then lose weight. You will love yourself when you become thinner. Learn to appreciate the qualities you have. If you are not aware of your own strengths, develop them through learning, such as being good at fashion or being empathetic. When you achieve something, remember to praise yourself by saying \"I am really awesome!\" When you make others happy, praise yourself with \"I am a little sun.\" This is an expression of your value in life, giving positive influence to others. Life is not just about romantic love. If you are not yet sure how to love someone, you can start by making friends. Make more friends, and with guys, it's more about who you are as a person, your inner self. In most cases, it won't make you feel inferior and may even help you slowly build self-confidence. Also, guys tend to value brotherhood, which might make you feel loved. When you are in a relationship, focus your sensitivity on your girlfriend, like sensitively noticing her small emotions and then cheering her up. Remember, not answering calls or messages may not be intentional, so don't blow small things out of proportion and don't overthink. If you repeatedly cause emotional conflicts with your girlfriend, it may exhaust her and harm your relationship. Don't worry, you are only 24 years old, the future is still long, and you don't have to rush into relationships. Solve your problems step by step. When you become confident and outstanding, you won't be afraid of not being liked by anyone. When you learn to love yourself, you will be able to love others well, and it will be easier to navigate relationships. Keep going, the future is promising! I hope this solves your confusion. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the experiences you've had in life are truly heartbreaking. Sending you a warm hug. It must have been tough and conflicting to receive both love and abuse from your family during your childhood. This led to emotional distress and binge eating, causing weight gain and ridicule from peers. At an age when one begins to desire love, you bravely confessed your feelings only to receive a derogatory painting of a pig and a rejection. This left you feeling low and hurt, and you decided to protect yourself from further heartache by not expressing your feelings anymore. Experiencing a car accident made you realize the importance of living without regrets and made you become emotionally volatile and anxious about your loved ones leaving. In a relationship, neither your family nor friends provided enough support or care, leading to feelings of insecurity, instability, and a lack of self-confidence. You both long for and fear love, and don't quite know how to navigate relationships. Firstly, it's important to accept yourself and embrace all your various states. Whether you're overweight or thin, have confidence in yourself. If you're not satisfied with your appearance, you can exercise and work on improving it, but remember that self-acceptance is key. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to love and accept you? Secondly, try adjusting your attitude toward social interactions. Don't rush to make commitments; focus on developing social skills and maintaining harmonious relationships with others. Learn to regulate your emotions. Lastly, try to establish harmony and a sense of belonging within your family. I hope everything goes well for you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, One Heart Ming, One Word Knows You. In your description, I wonder if you have noticed that you have set up a contrast between \"me\" and \"them\". \"Worrying that they would leave\", \"They bring up their ex-boyfriends\", \"They don't answer the phone\", \"They don't like...\" indicates that deep down, you haven't fully accepted the individual traits of \"them\", and consciously or unconsciously, you have created a disconnect between yourself and \"them\". This is the first issue I noticed. Typically, in emotional counseling, visitors may be entangled in past emotions with a particular person, but your example is quite unique. You classify \"them\" as a group, disregarding the individual traits of these girls, and placing yourself in an oppositional position to them. 1. \"Since my early teens until now, I haven't experienced a complete love.\" From this, it can be seen that you have had relationships quite early on, but you emphasize \"not a single complete one\", which I do not fully understand. In your opinion, what constitutes a \"complete love\"? 2. When I was young, my family treated me well but also beat me, which made me angry and indulge in binge eating. Then you describe a failed confession in junior high school due to weight issues, and you describe it quite clearly, indicating that this incident had a deep impact on you and influenced your view on love in the future. \"Wait until I lose weight before meeting\" indicates the stimulation this incident had on you, leading to a lack of self-confidence and the fear of meeting. This can also be understood. Indeed, what that junior high school girl did was a bit excessive; she did not consider your feelings. However, you should also try to understand her. At that time, she was just an immature junior high school student who didn't know how to protect others' self-esteem. But she had the right to reject you; she just chose the wrong way to refuse and shouldn't have mocked you. When you realize that the fault in that incident did not lie with you, please also understand yourself and free yourself from the past. Do not punish yourself because of others' mistakes and let them affect your future happiness. 3. You asked, \"I want to know what is lacking in my heart\". I want to say: first and foremost, you lack confidence and self-love. In matters of emotions, only when you are filled with love and self-confidence can you distribute the excess love to others. Otherwise, if you don't even have enough love for yourself, how can you give it to others or share it? Firstly, you need to reconcile with yourself and establish self-confidence. Secondly, you have projected the resentment towards that girl from the past onto the girls you have encountered later. Even before starting a proper relationship, you stick the label of \"untrustworthy\" on them, categorizing each lively, lovely, distinct individual as \"them\", becoming your imaginary enemies. Just think about it, aren't these girls also being unfairly treated? Lastly, you need to express your confusion more openly. Sometimes, just speaking out the problem is already solving half of it, because you have already started to face and want to change. The counselor will accompany you to untie the knot together. Good luck, I wish you can untie this knot soon, face yourself and the girls truthfully, and have a beautiful romantic relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Your upbringing and childhood experiences are really sad, sending you a virtual hug! I believe that you have developed a sense of inferiority since childhood, which is why you tend to overthink and find it hard to believe in a happy relationship. Don't worry, during adolescence, regardless of whether one is a boy or a girl, their mental maturity is not fully developed. She doesn't realize the extent of the hurt she caused you, so you need to let go of this situation. She simply doesn't know how to appreciate your qualities. But you will eventually meet someone who understands and appreciates your inner and outer beauty. This is not an empty statement, it is the truth. Speaking from my own experience, during my adolescence, I liked someone who played with emotions and tried to get involved with me despite having a partner. This made me distrust the opposite sex until I met my first love at the age of 23, who gradually made me believe in love again. So, don't be afraid. Regardless of height, weight, or appearance, you have the right to be loved. You mentioned feeling unsettled when your girlfriend talks about her exes, but there's no need to feel that way. I can relate to this feeling, as I also used to mind my partner's past relationships. However, I could feel that he was fully committed to me. The past is the past and cannot be changed. We are moving forward, so there's no need to compete with someone who is no longer in the picture. Be more confident, you have your own strengths, and you can engage in various activities to improve yourself, becoming more and more outstanding. As you become less anxious and more confident and happy, perhaps the right person will appear. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Perhaps the main issue here is to accept yourself more, feel proud of yourself, so that no one's rejection can truly hurt you, because you are very aware of your own worth and not swayed by others' standards. Another thing is to see the sweet side of emotions, the caring and loving side of the other person, so that you won't be constantly affected by negative events. For example, if the other person doesn't answer your calls or reply to your messages, do they really not like you? What are the signs of care and affection from the other person? Can you recall the sweet experiences you had before? Maybe after finding evidence, you'll feel more at ease. There are many possible reasons why the other person may not reply to messages, such as being busy or not being interested in the topic. Maybe you've had experiences of rejection in the past, which made you feel deeply hurt, but that was just one girl, and being rejected doesn't necessarily mean you're not good enough; perhaps the other person just doesn't like your type. Not everyone in the world can like you, and similarly, there must be someone who likes you; we exist in that middle ground, where some people like us while others don't, but it doesn't have much to do with our essence. If a girl draws a pig, it might be unintentional, but because you're particularly sensitive about your body shape, you feel she's mocking you. Is the content of her reply mocking or hurting you? Or is it simply a rejection? If you can treat yourself or others with more goodwill, maybe the other person's intention was unintentional or just a joke, and you won't be so easily hurt. The main character is still very young, and there aren't many people at this age who have had proper relationships, especially for introverted people. This doesn't mean there's something wrong with yourself. When you're ready, you can have a serious relationship that can lead to marriage, isn't that romantic? My friend didn't start dating until she was 30, and then she got married directly, without experiencing the pain of heartbreak, and she's very happy now. Another friend is in her forties and still single, but she has many friends and her own career, which doesn't hinder her from living happily. The most important thing is that they are both forgiving toward themselves and don't harshly judge themselves for not meeting so-called societal standards. In this state, whether or not they have a partner doesn't really matter, they are already happy enough. The main character can focus more on themselves, do things they like, enrich their inner world, and maybe they won't concentrate all their attention on others. When someone doesn't reply to your messages, you can choose to do other things, like reading, exercising, etc., to distract your attention, and maybe things will get better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Let's analyze the problems. When you were a child, your parents' discipline made you feel helpless, and your only way of emotional release was through overeating (now you can develop more ways, such as listening to music, exercising, and writing a diary). Due to body image issues, you have been hurt and left with trauma (you can write a letter to your younger self and to the person who hurt you). I feel that the emotional fluctuations before establishing a relationship are partly due to lack of confidence and partly because you have never been in a relationship and are bothered by their \"ex-boyfriends\". First of all, if they are \"ex-boyfriends\", it means they are not suitable. Secondly, don't think that their past relationships are to your disadvantage. Truly liking someone means wishing that they have also been cared for and accompanied by someone before you appeared. And don't think that not having had a girlfriend is something embarrassing. Everyone has different standards for choosing a partner. How many people are not \"left behind\" but simply \"haven't felt that connection\". You can boost your confidence from other aspects. Insecurity can be seen as a driving force for human progress. Success in career or academics may also help you move forward in relationships. Think about it, ask your heart, what do you want to do? I recommend the book \"Inferiority Complex and Its Overcoming.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You deserve to be loved and to have a wonderful love. It's not that you don't want love, but the experience of being beaten when you were young has left a shadow in your heart. You seek comfort through binge eating, which is emotional eating. The only confession you made ended in humiliation, so you, who were already hurt, prefer to wrap yourself up and no longer reveal your true emotions. So you have a deep sense of unworthiness. Let go of your self-judgment; being beaten when you were young was not your fault. It's very likely that your father or mother went through the same thing when they were young. Let go of self-blame. Beautiful things and pursuing love are rights that belong to each of us. When you accept yourself more and regain your confidence, believe that love is waiting for you in the next moment. Keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Growth is about finding a breakthrough point, changing trajectory, spiraling upward, and becoming a better version of oneself. Personal Journey: The author, who is 24 years old, desires love but has never had a complete romantic relationship or a girlfriend. The author has experienced rejection and humiliation in a previous romantic pursuit, which has deeply hurt and stayed with them. Since then, the author has not sought love again but still longs for it. Later, the author was involved in a serious car accident, and realizing the importance of not having regrets, they gathered the courage to start a romantic relationship. However, the author often worries about being abandoned, is sensitive to their partners' actions, and tends to overthink. Any deviation from the author's expectations would lead to self-blame and confusion. Social Circle: In the realm of romance, the author always finds themselves in a strong sense of control over their partner but lacks a strong sense of security. They pursue love due to their longing for it but feel that they cannot fully control their partner, who has their own life, leading the author into deep conflict. Changing Trajectory: Understanding needs: The author still has a strong desire for love but has never experienced it. They need to understand what the other party needs in terms of love and form their own ideal image of a partner based on popular preferences. Making changes: The author realizes that they are slightly overweight and need to develop self-discipline. They must challenge and change themselves according to their desired image. Trying different social circles: The author should try different social circles, establish connections with people, and interact with different groups, thereby expanding their social network and gradually building confidence and opening up their personality. Understanding needs - Making changes - Trying different social circles - Changing trajectory - Spiraling upward - Becoming a better version of oneself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14199
       },
       {
        "question": "Lost the motivation, passion, and concentration to work, making it difficult to carry out planned tasks.",
        "description": "I am fundamentally a very positive and proactive person, with clear goals and plans for my work, and I always strive to execute them efficiently. However, in the past two years, I have experienced many ups and downs, and now it's hard for me to regain the enthusiasm for work. Although my goals are still clear, my interest has significantly diminished. It is difficult for me to get back to the state of focusing on executing the plans like before. I feel constantly confused and tend to avoid facing everything in front of me. I always don't feel like doing anything and just want to go to sleep. I constantly feel anxious, and can only temporarily alleviate my mood by eating. Even though I have recently achieved some accomplishments that others may find difficult to reach, it still hasn't brought me a sense of achievement or changed my current state. This state has been persisting for a year.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, avoidance, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I understand your current state of mind very well. Going from a positive person to an anxious person, your anxiety lies in feeling a decline in interest over a long period of time. It's difficult for you to get back to how you used to feel, and even when faced with challenges, you don't feel stimulated. You also find it hard to get interested in other things. Although your goals are clear, the lack of interest and motivation leads you to avoid things and seek relief in eating, thinking that it will help you relax and improve your mood. But in reality, this is the beginning of a vicious cycle. Just like when you choose to procrastinate on a task, you still have to do it, but you end up hating it more and more. In terms of losing interest itself, you feel that your achievements don't mean much to you because you don't truly love what you're doing, you just see it as a duty and a task that you should complete. Here are some suggestions: try to make your goals more concrete and display them using images rather than mundane text. Look at them repeatedly to stimulate your brain's desire for a better life. Persist in changing your state of mind and do things you enjoy, of course, after completing your basic tasks. Use more time to cultivate hobbies and interests that are unfamiliar and intriguing to you. Spend time with positive people or talk to friends, maintaining a cheerful and positive mindset. Consider your future plans and have a clear vision for yourself, not settling for the present. On a piece of paper, compare your past and current self, noting your strengths and weaknesses. Within the amount of words written, you will find the answers. I hope my response can be helpful to you. Wish you the best. Good night.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the original poster. The shift from \"being proactive and progressive\" to \"chaotic avoidance\" is mainly due to experiencing ups and downs. The key to adjusting one's state lies in the things that are not described in this paragraph. I don't know what kind of ups and downs the original poster has experienced, and I hope they can share more about it. Based on this content, we can then discuss how to make adjustments. Finally, the original poster mentioned \"recently achieving some achievements that others may find difficult to reach.\" I believe that the essence of being proactive and progressive still exists within the original poster, but they are feeling off. Together, we can look at the ups and downs, analyze the pros and cons, facts, and feelings involved, and then return to the original poster's peak moments.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I provide supervisory counseling to accompany people in overcoming procrastination and setting goals. Among the participants, I found that one of them has always been proactive and has clear goals but has been feeling frustrated for the past two years. The reasons in between are not mentioned. She said she actually thought about it for a month before reaching out to me. We chat every day about her emotions, thoughts, and past situations, as well as the current situation. Gradually, her emotions stabilize. One day, she told me that she wants to set a ten-year goal and hoped that I would accompany her for ten years, if possible. After much thought, I said, \"You tell me about your goals first.\" Then I saw her write a ten-year major goal, as well as the goals to be achieved each year and the weekly review plans. It was specific, clear, and executable. I said, \"Okay, let's give it a try.\" After that, I also started setting my ten-year goals. We agreed that we can consider giving up 999 times, but try our best first. So, I think in your case, having clear goals is actually hindered by past emotions. Under my daily companionship, she also understood why she has been feeling this way for the past two years. Once she understood, she could move forward with stable emotions. Therefore, I hope you can do a review for yourself. The past, the present, and the future. After sorting it out, move forward again and review regularly. This may solve your problem.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2215
       },
       {
        "question": "I always think about suicide to escape from reality when I fail. I have tried suffocating myself several times, and I am always afraid that one day I will really die.",
        "description": "I am a child from a poor family, and I am not very outstanding. However, my parents care a lot about their reputation and go around telling people that I am very excellent. After failing the postgraduate entrance exam and multiple job interviews, I kept thinking about suicide and tried suffocating myself in different ways. Later, I felt sorry for them. But my mother told everyone about my failures and even blamed the people who tried to help me but were unsuccessful. I am in so much pain. Since failing the postgraduate entrance exam, I feel very bad about myself and I am exhausted. This is just the recent event; there were many small incidents before. My parents always say they love me, but they keep bringing up my past failures and never comfort or encourage me. I had a good job offer in another city, but my parents didn't agree. They cried and made a fuss, insisting that I join a worse company in the local area. I didn't go to the other city, hoping to find a good opportunity here. But now, I have failed repeatedly in local job interviews, and they still blame me for being incompetent. I know I am not good enough, but why do they keep talking about it? Whenever others see me, they tell me to be aware of my own abilities. They even suspect that I lied to them about the job offer from the other city. Yesterday, I tried to commit suicide by using a pillow to suffocate myself, thinking about the end of the world. I have been feeling like this for a long time, and I have thought about suicide several times. I am afraid I won't be able to take it anymore!",
        "keywords": "Growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"#A phrase for the frustrated#\" Have you ever had an experience of storing memories in an object? For example, preserving a beautiful memory on a train ticket. Keep this ticket and, in the future, when you see it, you will recall those days. You can also seal unpleasant memories in an item, like a small glass bottle, write down the incident, place it in the bottle, and use a permanent marker to write \"Open again on November 25, 2029.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22291
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do some people choose to restrain their negative emotions while others choose to retaliate?",
        "description": "Why do some people choose to restrain themselves and shift their focus to continue working, studying, waking up early, being proactive, and staying focused, regardless of conflicts and negative emotions arising from others? Meanwhile, why do some people choose to take extreme measures and harm themselves or others as a form of retaliation, instead of taking a step back and letting things go? What accounts for the significant difference between the two approaches?",
        "keywords": "Emotion, expressing emotions, emotion regulation, emotional intelligence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Seeing your question, it can be said that many people may have similar confusions as you, and your question is representative. From the psychological point of view, a person's emotions are a projection and reaction to their inner true demands. Behind every emotion, there is an inner true demand. When these demands cannot be satisfied, people are prone to have emotions. Secondly, everyone's handling of emotional issues is closely related to their character formation and past experiences during their growth. This is why there are differences in how people handle emotions. The human mind is delicate, just as no two leaves are alike. Similarly, every person lives in different environments and grows up with different family educations. Therefore, the way people handle emotional issues is naturally different. The way each person deals with emotions is not fixed and can be adjusted and changed through personal growth. However, both restraining and retaliating are not the best ways to deal with emotions. Finally, often suppressing and repressing oneself will result in many negative emotions. For example, imagine each person's mind as a limited-size water pool, and negative emotions in life are like water being poured into the pool. If we only pour water into the pool without draining it, over time, the water will overflow and flood ourselves or those around us, leading to the possibility of depression. On the other hand, people who choose to retaliate may develop antisocial personality disorders and other problems over time. In simple terms, the biggest difference between these two situations is that the former is more likely to harm oneself, while the latter is more likely to harm people around them. Therefore, if you have emotional issues that you cannot resolve on your own, it is recommended to seek professional psychological counseling to release those emotions. Additionally, you can also enhance your ability to control emotions through personal growth, becoming the master of your emotions rather than being dominated by them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, your question is very interesting and worth thinking about. I hope my answer can provide you with some help. The difference between the two actually lies in different modes of thinking. Have you heard of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)? Its foundational theory is the ABC theory. According to this theory, emotional and behavioral disorders in individuals are not directly caused by a particular triggering event, but rather by the individual's incorrect cognition and evaluation of that event, leading to different beliefs and ultimately resulting in different emotions and behaviors in specific situations. Therefore, although two people may encounter the same problem or situation, their beliefs and perspectives may differ, and thus their behaviors will also be different. Choosing to restrain oneself and shift attention to doing things that are more important to oneself not only avoids conflicts but also calms emotions. It is a positive attitude. Those who choose forgiveness no longer dwell on things because they know they cannot control others' actions and thoughts; they can only control their own. On the other hand, those who choose revenge do not forgive others, so their attention is always focused on others, making it difficult to focus on their own affairs. They feel conflicted and harm both others and themselves. If they understand forgiveness, they will understand that forgiving others is forgiving oneself. When they learn to let go, their inner peace will also improve significantly. After letting go, their attention will no longer be focused on the other person, and they can do their own things properly. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3322
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I feel so hopeless every night? It has happened so many times.",
        "description": "Every evening, I feel extremely hopeless and have thoughts of death, but the next day, everything is fine again. This has happened a few times and lasts for a period of time each time. I feel that one day, these thoughts may actually become a reality. Is there any solution to this?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation, fragile tears",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear. Are you okay? I had thoughts of death recently too. It's like the moment when you cut your wrist and separate from the lively world. But lying in bed, I still have some nostalgia. There is a faint spark in the dust of millennia. Seeing vitality. I think of leaving this world. If I leave, someone from the depths of their soul will cry their hearts out. Lost forever. I am selfish. I only care about not wanting to live, not about my family. But as I live until now, my body, my appearance, they raised me. I feel reluctant, indebted. So I want to work and save some money for my parents to have a better life in their later years, even if it's only half. And also for my brother's future marriage. This way, I can freely die. I won't take immediate action. I've started saving money. In the process, because I had thoughts of dying, I started looking at things differently. What is most important? Why do I want to die? I gave up on some things and suddenly realized that there is happiness in that insignificant life. Maybe it's just me turning a blind eye. Now, I no longer have thoughts of death. Though my mood is low. But I'm working hard to adjust myself and become better. Even though she is ordinary and unremarkable, that's my thought. That's who I am. Dear, I think you're also going through something. But the world is so vast, and there are still some things worth cherishing. Wishing you well, my friend.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7280
       },
       {
        "question": "23-year-old young man, feels like his whole life is being controlled, how can he find liberation?",
        "description": "Whether it's school or relationships, even the choice of a mental health professional isn't up to me. Since I was very young, I have been tightly controlled by my family and couldn't breathe. The clearest memory I have is when I was in first grade, my parents forced me to practice calligraphy every day. I didn't enjoy it, but if I didn't practice, I would get scolded. I am actually a very introverted person, and many times I secretly cry. I feel very sad, and I hope to be free soon.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, counseling and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, because of your family's control, this \"authoritarian parenting style\" is suffocating you. Perhaps the most direct way is to communicate with your parents, telling them your true thoughts and the pain and depression you are feeling inside. You hope that your parents can understand your feelings, and at the same time, you can express your understanding towards them. Both sides should try to think from each other's perspective, which may make it easier to achieve mutual understanding. Maybe you can go for a walk and relax your mood when you feel suppressed, or talk to friends about your frustration. Perhaps you can also talk to your grandparents and ask them to act as intermediaries to communicate with your parents again. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11047
       },
       {
        "question": "Education issues, when a child says that school is boring, how should we respond?",
        "description": "A child in 5th grade tells me that school is boring, with teachers who only lecture and no humor or entertainment. How should I respond? #Family relationships #Growing up #Communication with children",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, growth process, communication between children and parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Elementary school is a stage where children learn to read and write, master basic study methods, and develop basic interests in learning. However, there is no doubt that the cramming education method still dominates the education field. Teachers speak and students listen, and teachers force-feed students with knowledge. The advantage lies in the wide dissemination of basic knowledge, but the drawback is that it cannot fully consider each child's interests and abilities. Adolescents are not carefree little children; every moment they are in a crucial stage of life. The pressures they face are beyond the comprehension of parents and teachers. Parental expectations, teachers' high hopes, ranking in academic competition among classmates, and even the abundance of extracurricular activities all directly determine a child's strengths and weaknesses under ruthless evaluation. In this inevitable high-pressure environment, whether it is a cramming or an exploratory approach, children may feel bored with reading, leading to a dislike for learning. We cannot solely blame the child; instead, we need to consider the various factors that contribute to the situation from multiple dimensions. \u25cfFamily, the origin of character. Besides providing daily care, does the family provide effective emotional encouragement and mental guidance for the child? Is the family atmosphere supportive enough for the child to overcome most obstacles? \u25cfSchool, the place for cultivating talents. It is also a platform for social interaction. Besides school rules and discipline, does the school provide a comfortable and pleasant campus environment for the child? Apart from the bell ringing for classes, are there joyful bird songs and classmates' happy singing? \u25cfTeachers, the disseminators of knowledge. Those who can cater to the child's interests are undoubtedly the best for teaching. A high-quality teacher possesses flexibility, broad and deep knowledge, and strong comprehension and acceptance. Has the child encountered a teacher who rigidly adheres to teaching theories and forcibly imparts textbook content? \u25cfClassmates, companions during growth. In a large social circle, students inevitably form small groups and cliques. Has the child already formed a stable circle of friends, and do these friends have obvious positive qualities? It is outdated and ineffective to solely rely on lecturing the child with reasoning to promote their healthy development. \u25cfIf the school adopts a cramming approach, the family should be more exploratory. Pay more attention to the child's emotions and moods, whether they are happy or sad, content or frustrated. It is not enough to ask questions such as \"Did you finish your homework?\" or \"Your mom is calling you for dinner.\" Every child has immense potential for positive growth and does not have inexplicable negativity or laziness. \u25cfIf the teacher rigidly adheres to teaching theories, the family should be more dynamic. If the teacher says that winter is the season of snow, the family should find ways to let the child know that there is also the possibility of blooming flowers in the winter. Increase the child's proactive thinking and capture their surprise at any small progress. \u25cfIf the child does not have a stable friendship, the family should be more harmonious. Any good relationship provides strong support for an individual. On one hand, try to create and maintain harmony within the family; on the other hand, assist the child in building relationships outside the family, such as inviting a few favorite classmates for a get-together at home. It takes ten years to grow a tree, and a hundred years to cultivate a person. Bringing up a successful child is not easy, and raising a child successfully is even more challenging. Only when parents and children both put in efforts can there be fruitful outcomes. The interaction between parents and schools, parents and teachers, parents and children, parents and parents, and children and children is indispensable. A multidimensional focus and positive guidance can help children find interest instead of boredom and enable them to face setbacks and difficulties correctly.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: First, you can appreciate the child's expression. The child is very honest and willing to tell you the truth. You can try to understand the child's feelings and thoughts. It's not fun to be like this every day, and the pressure of learning is gradually increasing. Then ask the child, besides the teacher's lectures not being humorous, what else is fun? For example, interactions with classmates, or what subjects the child likes? You can also ask the child if there are other reasons besides what he/she mentioned. Is there any pressure? Or maybe classmates are bullying him/her? It is important to note that as parents, we should not get too anxious when the child expresses reluctance to go to school. We should relax a bit. It is not a problem for the child to express their thoughts. The problem is how we as parents respond. Fifth grade is also gradually entering puberty, and there is a lot of pressure in terms of learning. The child undergoes psychological changes, emotional changes, and physical changes. Parents should pay more attention to these aspects and show more care. It's not about constantly focusing on studying or grades. This will also make the child feel the care and love from parents, which will also increase their inner strength.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, as a parent, you are very concerned about your child's studies. However, not all children can meet our expectations and achieve satisfactory academic results. The problem could stem from various factors, including the child's own reasons, the parent's reasons, and even the school's reasons. Each factor needs to be addressed separately.\n\nFirst, as a parent, you should consider your own reasons. Have you been paying attention to cultivating your child's interests and hobbies? Are you allowing your child to have more sources of happiness? Or are you solely focusing on their academic performance and neglecting the development of their personality? If your child lacks enthusiasm in doing tasks at home, naturally, they will find studying boring. At this point, you should reflect on your own educational methods and consider whether you have provided a happy and exploratory environment for your child's growth.\n\nIf your child is positive and proactive at home but struggles with the school's educational methods, a particular subject or teacher's teaching style, or even dislikes the overall atmosphere of the school, the most effective solution might be transferring them to a different school. My son is a good example of this. After changing schools and teachers, his attitude towards learning became positive, and his grades improved significantly. If transferring schools is not feasible, you can start by focusing on the subjects that interest your child and gradually help them find joy in learning. This requires parents to patiently accompany and allow their children greater freedom. Do not judge your child based solely on temporary grades, as this will only make them more resistant to learning.\n\nIf possible, communicate with the teacher and let them know about your child's attitude towards learning and that they need more time. Assure the teacher that you, as a parent, are fully committed to supporting your child's improvement in grades, and request that they refrain from judging or criticizing your child based on temporary grades. Restoring your child's confidence in learning is crucial.\n\nIf you have tried various efforts, but your child still shows no interest in studying, then you need to accept this fact. Perhaps they are just not inclined towards academic pursuits. In this case, you can set a minimum requirement for their grades. Once your child meets this requirement, you can stop pressuring them to study and allow them more time to develop their own interests. As long as they have hobbies and are willing to make an effort, it is a good thing. What we fear is that they become disinterested in everything. As a parent, you should provide greater allowance for that. Being your child's authentic self is the key to their happiness. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Good morning! Seeing your question, on one hand, I can feel your care and attention for your child. Thumbs up for that! On the other hand, I also deeply understand the challenges of being a parent nowadays. It's difficult to balance work and self-learning on how to educate our children. Firstly, there are certain aspects of the overall environment, including the education system, that we cannot change. We need to acknowledge the progressiveness of the times. Compared to when we were young, many hardware and educational concepts have improved. In this regard, we need to accept the current situation and cultivate a calm mindset to face today's educational issues. Then, based on this calm mindset, we can try to communicate with our children. It is important to analyze specific problems. For example, if a child says that teachers only lecture every day, this is a relatively absolute judgment. It is impossible for all teachers to be the same, right? Which teacher is it specifically? Which subject? If there is no sense of humor or entertainment, perhaps this teacher's educational philosophy is to impart the knowledge system from the textbooks comprehensively. Is the child simply not very interested in this subject? We need to have further communication with the child, combining our own past experiences, and communicate calmly and vividly with the child. At the very least, we need to ensure what aspects of this subject need to be guaranteed for grades. Also, we need to determine if other students have similar reactions or if it is an individual case for the child. Further understanding is required in these aspects. Education is a slow process, we cannot be impatient or hasty in making judgments. As for individualized teaching, given the current national situation, as parents, we can play a role in fostering the cultivation of stimulating the child's interest in learning. By working together with the school, we can ensure a good education for our children. I hope this helps and inspires you. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can be helpful to you. From the perspective of the child's educational environment, the fifth grade is a time when the child is preparing to transition into adolescence. Children will gradually develop their own judgments and opinions about people and things, which is a sign and process of growth and maturity. Indeed, the Chinese education system only values academic achievements and the gaokao (college entrance examination). The overall educational environment has a great impact on parents. In the eyes of Chinese parents, studying is the only goal, grades are the only goal, and the gaokao is the only goal. So, if a child doesn't perform well academically, it's considered a failure in everything, which is an extreme and disrespectful attitude towards the child. Recently, a friend who has lived abroad for many years came back and talked about the issue of education. There is no harm without comparison. Starting from elementary school, Chinese parents hope their children can score higher and higher in exams. Children start learning elementary school subjects in preschool, middle school subjects in elementary school, and so on, which goes against the natural development of human beings. Their young minds are not ready to handle the content they are being taught, it's just pushing them too hard. In contrast, in other countries, if a child in second grade gets a perfect score, the principal and teacher will question it, and even call the parents for a meeting to provide them with psychological education: your child shouldn't be getting perfect scores at this age according to their mental development, this pressure and perfectionism is something that needs to be corrected. So, in fact, it's not your personal fault that you have this anxiety. Really. From the perspective of the child's psychological motivation, today's children lack the minimum survival anxiety, which is an important source of motivation. The harder a person works, the higher their anxiety, while those who don't work hard have lower anxiety levels, and self-esteem follows a similar pattern. From the perspective of your generation and your family's background and circumstances, the situation is undoubtedly different. Most children in this generation come from relatively well-off families and don't have to worry about their basic needs. They are born into a life with a house and a car, without the need to struggle or work in the fields. They grow up in a sheltered environment in the city, so what do they have to worry about? It can be said that they lack the minimum survival anxiety. Whereas our generation has this minimum survival anxiety, which drives us to work hard, improve ourselves, and constantly strive for excellence. Of course, more importantly, each child has their own potential and direction to develop. You just need to teach them according to their characteristics. Each era has its own characteristics, and each has its own path to success. We cannot force them to be the same as us, to have good grades and to work extremely hard. Also, can we guarantee that they will achieve good grades if we demand it from them? Not necessarily. In their thinking, they were born into a life with a house and a car, without the need to struggle or work in the fields, so why should they work hard? That's why we need to guide their growth, such as through hardship education and teaching them how to deal with setbacks. It's not too late for a fifth-grade child, and it would be even better to provide them with labor and hardship education before their second stage of rebellion arrives, around the ages of seven or eight. The method and approach are very important. Bless you. I am here, and the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello parents and friends: I believe the first step is to respond to the child's feelings, saying something like \"Oh, you feel bored at school.\" This way, the child can feel that you are sincerely listening to him, and he will express how boring it is and to what extent. Once the child has expressed these feelings of boredom, he will feel relieved. As a parent, you just need to patiently listen carefully. Perhaps after the child has finished speaking, he will act as if nothing happened and go on with whatever he needs to do. As parents, we don't need to overly concern or worry about whether the child will stop loving school or dislike learning! In fact, every child will go through feelings of boredom with school. There's no need to make a big deal out of it. Otherwise, it will have the opposite effect. Just for your reference. Of course, if the child says this every day and shows signs of not completing homework or not going to school, that's another matter. However, in general, children who express their emotions to their parents usually only talk about it. Parents just need to show understanding and listen.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9921
       },
       {
        "question": "26-year-old female, for several years, she has been afraid to speak in public and never speaks up even when there is something important.",
        "description": "In the past few years, there has been a problem that has been distressing me... Every time I enter the company and face my colleagues, or in school when facing classmates in the classroom or dormitory, I dare not speak. I always delay when it comes to asking for help from others, fearing that something embarrassing might happen. Eventually, I just give up on communication and handling things, sometimes even hurting others. Even when I tell myself to speak up, I still can't say anything. I am always afraid and worried about not handling things well, feeling helpless in the end. I feel like I have lost the ability to socialize with people. I feel mentally exhausted every day, and now, just a few days after starting a new job, I am considering quitting because I lack confidence in my work, and I feel like I have let down my leader's trust. Should I choose a job where I don't have to face people directly, like working from home? I feel relaxed at home, without that overwhelming feeling, and my mood improves. Maybe I should first adjust my confidence and emotions before embarking on work?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relations, communication, colleagues, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It is unclear about your upbringing, but typically this situation stems from traumatic experiences. One possibility is that you had traumatic experiences during early communication with others, leading to a low sense of self-worth and fear of expressing your true self, afraid of being ignored, invalidated, or rejected. With the motive of self-protection, you avoid interactions with others, fearing to be hurt again. Another possibility is that, after being hurt by others, you have suppressed a lot of anger and aggression, projecting it outward, believing that others might want to harm you, which leads to fear. In order to no longer fear when interacting with people in the present, you need to heal from the traumatic experiences you had in the past when interacting with others.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20293
       },
       {
        "question": "College, whenever I come home, I feel very unhappy.",
        "description": "Every time I come home, as long as I say a few words to my mother, she becomes unhappy. No matter what I say, she will be unhappy. She often acts as if she didn't hear me speaking and frequently stops talking after just a couple of sentences. If I ask her again, she gets upset and says a few words to me. In short, it's very annoying, and I don't know how to resolve it. I'm thinking that maybe I should just not come home in the future.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You can tell that you are a filial child who always wants to chat with your mom, but you can't make her happy, so you are very frustrated and have thoughts of avoiding it: \"I might as well not go home.\" Actually, you probably can't do that because each of us is very attached to our parents who gave birth to and raised us. Having them around gives us a sense of home, even if this home doesn't make us very happy. Yet, we still can't leave it, right? This is also the reason why you came to this platform to seek solutions, isn't it? You are in college, and judging from your age, your mom is still in her prime and has abundant experience and energy. She should be a key figure in her workplace, in her golden period of career. Of course, this is also a time when she is under a lot of pressure, a period where not progressing means regression in her career. So, her thoughts might not be solely focused on you like before you attended college, and she may not pay as much attention to your thoughts and feelings, resulting in a response that is not in line with your expectations and even making you feel that she is unhappy. Now, let's switch the roles. You have already become an adult and started your college life, which is also a new beginning in your life. At this time, would it be better to turn the care and protection your mom used to give you into care and protection from you to her? Actually, moms also need to be cared for and protected. After sending you to college, the family burden may have decreased, but the social pressure has increased. As you start a new life in college, it is also a very big change for her. From a life centered around you to one centered around herself and her career, this is also a significant challenge. Can you try to understand your mom and feel her joys and sorrows, and when you come home, try to cooperate with her as much as possible? I think if you try to change yourself, your mom will be happy because of your changes. Best wishes to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15872
       },
       {
        "question": "How to commit suicide without pain.",
        "description": "Don't want to live anymore...",
        "keywords": "Treatment, talking and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in the past I saw a topic on Zhihu about suicide. In this topic, there is a series of related posts titled \"Don't use ** method to commit suicide\". It mentions many methods, almost covering most of the methods we can think of, detailing the pain and process of each method. After reading it, I think there is indeed no painless way. Death is painful, and living also brings pain. So why not live well? At least, living is not just about pain. If you don't want to live anymore, what happened? Can you talk about it? We can help analyze it together, give you suggestions, and find solutions. If you are really facing difficulties, don't endure it alone. You can seek help, ask for assistance from people around you, call the helpline 95, see a psychologist or counselor. There will always be someone who can help you. Please live well. Problems are always temporary. When you get through this challenge and look back on this journey, you will be grateful for your current perseverance. In retrospect, everything may seem insignificant. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't want to live anymore, I really want to hug the person who posted this question and share the pain you're feeling. Life is like living in an ocean of suffering, we are pursuing the unknown shore, and sometimes when we get tired of swimming alone, we feel like giving up. In the ocean of suffering, our self is our solid support, it can be a bridge, a ship, helping us temporarily escape from hardship and move forward. However, one day the bridge may collapse and the ship may leak, at this time we often think that it would be better to give up on life. But, a collapsed bridge can be repaired, even better than before, and a leaking ship can be fixed, even reinforced. As long as you don't give up hope, hope is by your side, please don't easily give up on yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, at this moment you still feel pain. When we let pain flow through our bodies, it will slowly nourish us, and perhaps in the future gain a new strength from it. Don't forget, you can take a break, pause for a while. Time is meant to be felt, we still have time. When tired, take a rest.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14730
       },
       {
        "question": "Is there a way to cure schizophrenia?",
        "description": "The thoughts in one's mind can be heard by people around, leading to being attacked and gossiped about, affecting social interactions and daily life. This also comes with anxiety and obsessive thinking, being afraid and fearful of talking to others. Under such fear, how can one work well?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, diagnosis of illness, treatment methods",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thoughts do not vocalize. This state is probably being too deeply immersed in thinking. I suggest practicing mindfulness, observing one's own behavior and actions in daily life, and distinguishing them from one's thoughts. Examine what kind of behavior is caused by the surrounding environment and what kind of thoughts lead to one's actions. Then, practice improvement.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21033
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it appropriate for a 19-year-old girl who has graduated to not be accustomed to actively contacting friends?",
        "description": "I have graduated from high school and had two good friends, who were also my roommates. They have always been proactive in maintaining contact with me, but due to my habit, I rarely reach out unless there is something important. However, now they are actively reaching out to me, and combined with the tension between us in the past, I feel like I should take the initiative to talk to them, but I always find it difficult to find topics and it feels forced and awkward. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, roommates, classmates.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Have you ever considered being a good listener as a friend? With your personality, you prefer purposeful communication, getting straight to the point, which is a common communication style for many people. There are many ways to interact with friends, but regardless of the method, whether active or passive, taking a rational and sincere approach is the key to maintaining stable and lasting relationships. You're 19 years old and likely still in school, so your understanding of friendship may be somewhat simplistic due to the innocence of campus life. Some people believe that it's necessary to initiate communication, sharing activities, thoughts, and feelings. However, everyone has different standards for friendship. Just like how you don't enjoy chatting and prefer to spend limited time doing things you like, your friends may enjoy contacting you actively. Your different approaches do not harm anyone, it's just a matter of preference, so don't feel obliged. Additionally, I'm not sure if any grievances between you and your friend have been resolved. If not, spending time together may feel a little awkward. In this case, one of you should take the initiative to address the issue. If the disagreement is already in the past, you and your friend can maintain your original styles and build a sincere and understanding relationship. This advice is based on your preference not to change your communication style. Accordingly, if you maintain a more passive attitude, over time, you may gradually develop a more casual bond with your friends. However, if you wish to delve deeper into your friends' emotions and have more meaningful communication, you can adjust your perspective. Consider sharing your daily trivia with your friends, just like chatting with family, and increase the frequency of your communication. If you aren't good at communicating, you can also arrange to participate in activities together, which will increase your presence in your friends' eyes. It seems that you also prefer not to change your approach to making friends while eliminating the psychological concerns that come with not contacting them actively. At this point, ask yourself if you want a deeper relationship with your friends. Can you accept it if one day, because of your lack of initiative, they gradually drift away? Regardless of the communication style you choose, it's important to prioritize your own comfort. Wishing you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14053
       },
       {
        "question": "The people around me are excellent, and the pressure is high. How should I deal with my intense mood swings?",
        "description": "I'm actually a person who is quite competitive, and I really don't like feeling inferior to others. Before entering university, although I wasn't one of the top students in my grade, I was frequently praised by teachers and parents, and I thought highly of myself. However, after entering university, I discovered that everyone in my class is very outstanding. Not only are they good at academics, but they also have various talents and are good-looking. Compared to them, I feel like I'm not at their level at all. Every time in class, someone would blurt out the answer to the teacher's question, and I feel the pressure coming at me. The more this happens, the harder it is for me to study, and my grades keep dropping. I'm gradually becoming afraid of attending classes, afraid of socializing, and I often feel like crying. Moreover, my emotions fluctuate greatly, and I feel like I'm becoming more and more pessimistic, unable to live a normal life. I even suspect if there's something wrong with my mental health... What should I do...",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From middle school to college, everyone goes through a round of elimination, so naturally, the overall level of the people around you will be higher than before, which is normal. Some people are accustomed to receiving praise as a source of security or self-esteem since childhood, to the point where they find it difficult to affirm themselves or feel like they are being abandoned by the world when they don't receive praise. In fact, this is a form of trauma from their upbringing. What you need to realize is that academic achievements do not prove a person's excellence or lack thereof; it is just because you rely on praise to gain self-esteem and have not found the true source of self-esteem\u2014your true talents and passions. Everyone has their strengths, and there is no one who is better than others. It's just that everyone has different talents and traits. Those classmates that you consider excellent may only have talents in certain subjects or simply excel in classroom learning\u2014your strengths may lie in other domains, not necessarily in comparing yourself to others in classroom learning. Grades are only one aspect of people's abilities; outstanding individuals in society are not necessarily those with good grades, and nobody can be excellent in all areas or professional fields. Find out what your unique value is and gradually let go of comparing yourself with others or seeking affirmation from others to confirm your self-worth.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, let me give you a hug and ask you to think about what your definition of excellence is. Maybe it's outstanding academic or work abilities, or perhaps it's exceptional good looks, or maybe it's having a natural talent for socializing. However, as the saying goes, \"nobody is perfect\" and \"everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.\" No one is absolutely excellent, and in some ways, you may have magnified the strengths of others. Secondly, are you underestimating yourself too much subconsciously? When you magnify the excellence of those around you to an infinite extent, your subconscious mind starts to belittle yourself. This suppressive thinking makes it difficult for you to make progress on the path of self-improvement. In other words, the efforts you have made are like carrying a burden, and it would be much easier if you embarked on your journey with a light heart. However, the invisible psychological pressure is like a hidden chronic poison, constantly eroding your positive and upward mindset. Lastly, you need to set your mindset right. All judgments of right and wrong, good and bad, and aesthetic standards are man-made and can change with the times. How can you continue to improve yourself under such defined circumstances without losing your direction? The answer lies in thinking, meditating, and analyzing yourself more. Shift your focus from others to yourself, know your strengths and weaknesses, further improve yourself, and engage in effective practices. The uniqueness of life is what I believe is most precious. No matter how excellent and talented your friends are, they can never become you in this lifetime. That's why I always push myself, because of my uniqueness. So, instead of chasing other people's light, let yourself shine! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18202
       },
       {
        "question": "I am currently feeling disgusted with my work and I don't know what I really want to do. What should I do?",
        "description": "I've changed many jobs, all of which I started out with full confidence. But after a few days, I became dispirited. Either I felt things were going against my wishes, or I found fault with everything, or I just felt tired. I couldn't help but nitpick, but deep down, I didn't really want to leave because where else would I go? Just sit at home and do nothing like I did before? However, I don't know what I really want deep down. I feel frustrated and depressed. I show my complaints to the outside world.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, career selection skills, work pressure",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You have a relatively clear understanding of your current state. As you said, on one hand, you don't know what you really want on the inside, so you are always unwilling to persist in your work. It seems like there is a feeling of frustration. On the other hand, it manifests as complaining. In fact, external complaints are often a result of unclear internal feelings. For example, you may be very dissatisfied with life and work, and internally there may be a strong anger towards the inability to change externally, or a depressive feeling of helplessness after the inability to change. These deep emotions arise, and only after enduring them can you possibly understand what you want and know how to proceed. However, these feelings may be too uncomfortable, so when they arise, you choose to \"vent\" externally, i.e. complain. As a result, it feels like you are \"stuck\". Resolving this issue requires gradually reclaiming these emotions and learning how to tolerate them step by step. Of course, this is not something that can be achieved overnight. But you can start by practicing with small uncomfortable feelings and resisting the urge to speak out. Naturally, the internal feelings will become clearer as they intensify.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 78,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 78,
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           },
           {
            "start": 204,
            "end": 250,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 250,
            "end": 338,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8991
       },
       {
        "question": "Girls are often too sensitive and emotional, and they often cannot control themselves when their emotions affect them.",
        "description": "Feeling like my emotions are too sensitive, my ability to associate is too strong. Once someone around me says something or does something, it affects me for a long time. I worry if I did something wrong and care a lot about what others think. Normally when I read novels, watch TV dramas, or look at old photos, or even listen to songs, if there are sad or nostalgic themes, my mood would be affected for a long time. It can even lead to longing for the past and worrying about the future. Very sensitive and sentimental, heavily reliant on others, always being influenced by my own emotions but unable to control them.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotional regulation, emotional intelligence.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sensitive people can use the following methods to proactively adjust their emotions and mindset: 1. Build self-confidence and maintain an independent personality. Never excessively focus on the actions of others or their evaluations of oneself. Especially in the current situation, it is crucial to focus on one's own affairs. No matter what others say, one should make life fulfilling by doing well in daily work and life. 2. Make efforts to redirect attention. Do not excessively indulge in sensitive and suspicious issues, which can harm daily life. Engage in activities that one is interested in, such as traveling, sightseeing, photography, enjoying good food, and breathing fresh air. These activities can effectively shift attention and enrich life, allowing oneself to gain a fulfilling life. Only by maintaining a positive and optimistic mindset can one overcome sensitivity issues. 3. Actively communicate and interact with others, especially when feeling overly sensitive and anxious. It is crucial not to keep everything inside but to learn to express oneself and confide in friends and family. Expressing negative emotions to others can help alleviate sensitivity issues and gain understanding of others' true attitudes, ultimately fostering friendships and trust. The above methods are all effective.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20362
       },
       {
        "question": "My younger brother is so aggressive because he has the support of our mother's side behind him, I'm really tired, what should I do?",
        "description": "My younger brother got angry at me for no reason again today. Even when I tried to make peace, he refused to back down. He arrogantly said to me, \"Do you dare ignore me?\" In all our past arguments, he acted like they didn't matter to him. But he can be happy and get along with our mother without any issues. It's clearly his fault, yet sometimes I have to beg him to apologize, but he still won't. So, for a month or two, I didn't talk to anyone and nobody talked to me. But seeing them together, it hurts me inside. I haven't done anything wrong, so why am I being treated like this? Sometimes, they really seem like a family, and I cried all night, but nobody cared or asked what was wrong. They just told me to stop crying. I know my brother acts this way because he has our mother and her family supporting him, but I'm truly in pain. My eyes hurt from crying, and I feel hopeless.",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. In family relationships, if you have negative feelings, you must try to express them and let the people around you understand and care about you, rather than suppressing your emotions. From your description, it can be seen that you feel sad and hopeless because your brother has the support of family members while you are alone. You don't know how to express yourself or how to gain support and love from your family. It is evident that you feel very lonely at home, especially in an environment where your brother is heavily favored, which intensifies this feeling. You should try to confide your feelings to family members who are more concerned about you, express your desire for their care, attention, confidence, and happiness, instead of only being able to cry alone in a corner. Interaction within the family is two-sided. Your brother may pout and directly express his desires to your parents, cry and demand attention. Meanwhile, you may be very well-behaved and silently endure a lot of pain, not expressing yourself, and not daring to ask for love. You may fear that your family won't like you and think that you have too many issues, and so on. But what I want to tell you is that family members are not mind readers and won't know what our needs are unless we tell them. They may unintentionally overlook them. For example, if there's a dish on the dinner table that both you and your brother like, your brother directly tells the family that he wants to eat it, pouts or creates a fuss, cries, etc., so your parents satisfy him. And you also want to eat it, but for various reasons, you don't dare to say it or help yourself. You watch them happily eat while feeling bitter inside. The same goes for other things, have you noticed? You may need to tell them what you need and when you need it for them to pay attention to you, feel your needs, and find ways to meet them, instead of hiding and waiting for them to satisfy you or pretending that nothing is wrong when they show concern. Learn to bravely express yourself, whether it's needs, dissatisfaction, anger, etc. Only in this way can there be a possibility of mutual understanding with your family, and there will be less conflict and feelings of isolation. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14570
       },
       {
        "question": "Diagnosed with moderate depression, the desire to live is not strong, becoming increasingly low, wanting liberation?",
        "description": "The 20-year-old woman was diagnosed with moderate depression on June 12 last year, and then with severe depression on November 14 of the same year. In fact, she has been suffering for many years, but it was only last year that she was diagnosed, which had a great impact on her. During this period of time, she has been oscillating between thoughts of death and continuing to live. She doesn't know what's wrong, can't understand herself, and doesn't listen to others' advice. She is immersed in dark emotions and cannot make a direct choice. The thought of death brings tears to her family and friends, but she also lacks the motivation to continue living. She has been struggling and collapsing continuously, and now feels that she is being pulled over by the Reaper. She wants to irresponsibly free herself from the rooftop.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, have you actively cooperated with the doctor's treatment after being diagnosed with moderate and severe depression? Treatment often takes time to take effect and alleviate symptoms, so don't be impatient. Give yourself some time, persist with the treatment, and your situation will gradually improve. Despite suffering for many years and facing the brink of collapse, you have been making efforts to keep going because of your family and friends, and your sense of responsibility. From this perspective, you are already extraordinary. In the past, you could do it, and I believe you can continue to do so in the future. If it becomes too difficult to endure on your own, you can try seeking help from others. Find someone you trust, express your feelings of pain, and perhaps it will make things a little bit easier. It's okay, you are not alone, and you don't have to silently bear all this pain by yourself. You may feel that you have lost the motivation to continue living, but remember, we can find the motivation ourselves; you just haven't found it yet. Think about the dreams, aspirations, and expectations you've had before. You need to know that as long as you don't give up on yourself, these things are very likely to come true. Society is constantly developing and changing, and so are we. Believe that life will not always be so terrible. Sending you a hug, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20439
       },
       {
        "question": "Seems to have no interest in anything, overflowing with a sense of worthlessness.",
        "description": "Lack of interest in everything, overwhelming sense of worthlessness. Unwilling to do household chores that can be accomplished, unwilling to do work that cannot be accomplished. Feeling a lot of pressure. Wanting to relax, but once I slow down, I can't even enjoy watching TV shows.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological crisis, trauma therapy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP~ I wonder what you have experienced that has caused you to lose interest in life. Here's a warm hug for you first~ The way to regain enthusiasm for life is to discover its meaning. If you find yourself uninterested in everything around you, maybe give yourself a chance to breathe and go out for a walk, relax yourself. It's also a good choice to immerse yourself in nature. If possible, chat with friends more, gather together for a meal or some team building activities, anything that can make you happy. Don't keep that feeling bottled up inside. Sometimes, just talking to friends, family (or anyone who can make you feel better) can relieve that sense of emptiness. Things that you wanted to do before but lacked motivation or courage (such as rock climbing), now is the time to push yourself and gather the courage to accomplish it~ After completing it, you will realize that there are so many things waiting for us to do and so many goals waiting for us to achieve. I hope the above suggestions are helpful to you. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18622
       },
       {
        "question": "Do you still give gifts in this situation when you don't like him as much?",
        "description": "It is possible that the lack of strong affection for him stems from the need for care and attention, so it's best to maintain contact. Now that it's clear, I know that I don't like him that much, so I shouldn't have any expectations for the future. However, I have already bought a birthday present for him that I prepared. Should I still give it to him? If I do, how will he perceive it and will he think of me when he sees this gift in the future? Would it be better not to give it?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, managing relationships, liking someone.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm sorry, but I don't have hope for the future anymore. However, I have already bought a gift. I don't know whether I should give it to him or not. If I give the gift, should I give it as a friend or as someone who likes him? Can you try to think about it? If you hadn't bought the gift, and his birthday was coming up and you realized that you don't actually like him that much, would you still prepare a gift for him? Try to think about these questions, it might help you. That's my suggestion, I hope it can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17051
       },
       {
        "question": "24-year-old man, particularly repelled by the possibility of future marriage life, what should he do?",
        "description": "I used to have a crush on a girl and had a simple romantic relationship, but in the past two years, I don't know if people have become more complicated or what, but I don't want to be in a relationship anymore. I even feel repulsed at the thought of married life. I just want to go to work and do things I love in my spare time. I don't know if my two failed relationships and my mother's menopause have anything to do with it. Right now, besides the need to reproduce, marriage feels like a burden and women feel like shackles to me. I can no longer approach relationships with the same mindset as a few years ago when my eyes were filled with only you. I have recently been chatting with two girls quite well, but now when facing a potential romantic relationship, I can only think about whether I am just a backup or how much dowry she would demand. Is she serious? Why should I pursue her? Does being in a relationship mean I have to take care of her in addition to my work? But I can't even take care of myself. Do I have to give her my salary after getting married? Do I have to always compromise during arguments? How can I handle her menopause? Thinking about all these things, I no longer have any desire for love and I even feel a bit tired of women. I no longer believe in relationships. And this lack of trust in relationships has slowly transformed into a lack of trust in all kinds of interpersonal relationships, and I have become more and more indifferent, although no one can tell in my daily life.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal Relationships, Deception, and Trust.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, my questioner, seeing your words is like seeing you in person. From your words, I can tell that you have a lack of trust in relationships. In this era, more and more people choose to be single, living freely and enjoying their own lives. This may be related to the social environment. We all have the right to choose whether to get married or not, and we should choose the life we want based on our own values. However, we cannot deny the value of marriage. If you strongly reject marriage, there is no need to force yourself to get married. Your understanding of marriage is too extreme, \"having had two failed relationships, with your mother going through menopause, you feel that marriage is a burden and women are shackles.\" The influence of previous failed relationships, your mother's situation, and the various unhappy marriages you see around you or online have led to misunderstandings and rejection of love and marriage. You have fallen into a victim mentality towards marriage and unconsciously put yourself in a victim position, thinking that marriage will bring you various types of harm. You want to avoid this harm, so you reject marriage. However, everything has two or even more sides. In your description, you only see the negative impact of marriage, and a large part of these negative impacts are imagined by you. You need to see the positive side of marriage, seriously understand marriage, and make a choice that you won't regret based on your own values. How to improve the current situation and correctly understand marriage: Marriage is a stage in our life journey, a choice we make. During this process, conflicts and arguments may occur, and it may change the rhythm of our previous lives. However, we cannot deny the value of marriage. It is also a carrier of happiness and stability. If, on a non-extreme basis, you do not want to enter into marriage, that is also okay. Face your own thoughts with a peaceful mentality and do not reject marriage in the midst of marriage. This will make you even more negative and affect your usual interpersonal relationships. Love is mutual, it involves two people, it's not about one person giving and the other person enjoying. If that's how your previous relationships were, then it means you haven't met the right person. Is she serious? Do I still have to take care of her after work? Do I always have to compromise in arguments? These questions are not really problems. Love requires mutual tolerance and understanding. If you achieve these two points, you won't have these problems anymore. Think carefully about your choices and what kind of life you want to live. Whether or not you want to enter into marriage, everything comes with a cost. Choosing freedom inevitably means giving up the warmth and happiness of family; choosing marriage means dealing with family trivialities and communication with family members. Make a good choice, adjust your mindset, and face what you have to face with a peaceful mentality. I hope my answer can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If we simply compare the relationship between dating and marriage, marriage is undoubtedly much more complicated, after all, most of the time dating is between two individuals, while marriage involves two families. Moreover, marriage implies more responsibilities. For example, when dating, people may not expect you to have a stable job and a house, but marriage is different, especially in society, where many practical issues need to be considered. From the description, it feels like sometimes the situation becomes a deadlock, as if we are the ones constantly giving while the other party is just taking. However, if we think carefully, if a marriage can truly last a long time, it definitely cannot rely solely on one person's effort. In simple terms, even though we men don't personally experience the hardships of carrying a child for nine months, we still have some understanding of how tiring and difficult it is. Therefore, marriage cannot be sustained by one person alone. If the girl's parents are reasonable and understand the difficulties their child goes through, as long as the two individuals are determined to put in the effort and have a decent income, I believe that open-minded parents will not force their children into marriage because they understand what happiness means to their child. If the girl's parents only value material things and don't care about the emotional life of the couple, how long such a marriage can last depends on how long the man's wallet can support it, so we need to carefully evaluate such a marriage ourselves. Of course, whether or not to choose marriage and love is our own freedom. Loving someone may be about wanting to give them a stable home, letting them know that there is someone who will take care of them when they are tired, giving them a place to rest when they are weary, and working together to solve and face any problems. The world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After listening to your venting, I feel like you are someone who doesn't bother with the pursuit of love. You said you no longer believe in love, but it seems more like you're afraid to love again. People who cannot love often do so because they are too concerned about the outcome of love. It is precisely because of this excessive concern that their attention is not focused on enjoying the present, but on worrying about various possibilities. This worry restricts their ability to enjoy and be free. Sometimes, it's not that we don't want to be in a relationship, but that we truly dare not. I hope at this age, we can understand and accept reality. Love is not as perfect as we imagine. I think you are well aware of this, as in this world, nothing is perfect. Accepting and acknowledging the true nature of love, not having overly high expectations, and not making it the sole focus are crucial. When a relationship or several relationships break down, I personally believe that no one is worth sacrificing yourself for. When you realize that you are being hurt, it's important to cut your losses and not fear the criticism and judgment of others because we don't live our lives to please others. At this age, perhaps your experiences with love have been more tumultuous than others, and I think that's okay too. After going through emotional pain, when a relationship comes to an end, mourn it properly and don't dwell in past relationships because it's not a symbol of your failure, nor should you doubt yourself too much. Walk your own path well and believe that happiness will come as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "24? It's still early. If you don't want to talk about it, then don't. Right now, you're rejecting this matter and only considering the negative issues. If you have these concerns about being a backup option, dowry, and sincerity, it's mostly because your subconscious is analyzing the high risks and warning you about the problems that may exist in these two girls. A really good girl will make you have no worries at all and make you feel like you're the only one in her eyes. So, take it easy and wait until you meet a girl who makes your heart flutter. Don't let it affect your mood. Just focus on doing well at work and living your life. There's nothing wrong with being single for a while.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11184
       },
       {
        "question": "Bipolar disorder, social anxiety disorder, feeling like one's entire self is about to collapse, what should be done?",
        "description": "Bipolar disorder, mild social anxiety and introversion. I was previously isolated and dropped out of school due to living in a dormitory. I worked for a while and now I want to go back to school, but I'm afraid of being isolated again. I don't know how to interact with many people and feel very uncomfortable. I feel anxious in crowded places and feel like I'm going to collapse. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, self-harm, stress.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: In your writing, you mentioned that you have bipolar disorder and are currently experiencing social anxiety, afraid of being isolated and feeling uncomfortable. Hugs to you, I feel for you. Bipolar disorder is a common mental disorder characterized by episodes of mania or hypomania and depression. During manic episodes, patients may exhibit elevated mood, increased speech, and increased energy. During depressive episodes, patients may experience low mood, loss of pleasure, decreased speech, and fatigue. The best treatment for bipolar disorder is a combination of medication and psychological counseling. I don't know if you have sought medical help or if your bipolar disorder has improved. However, I have some small suggestions for your social anxiety, hoping that it can help you. 1. Shift your focus, relax your mind When you feel fearful, you can try to shift your focus and take deep breaths to relax your mind. It can greatly improve your situation. 2. Take the first step Since you have social anxiety and don't know how to interact with people, the best way to combat fear is to take action. In psychology, there is a term called systematic desensitization. You can try breaking down your behavior into several steps and start with something that brings you the least fear. For example, the first time, you can try having a conversation with a classmate and express your thoughts; the second time, you can try participating in a conversation in your dormitory and responding to others' thoughts; the third time, you can try expressing your opinions in a group of classmates... Actually, your fear stems from your past experiences and the fear of being isolated again. However, when you start to make changes, people's perspectives towards you and their attitudes will also change. You are different now, so people's attitudes towards you will be different as well. And when we actually do the things that we fear, the fear itself is not as terrifying. 3. Learn from others' social skills in school, you can try learning how other classmates interact with each other. Perhaps you will gradually realize that your classmate A also feels nervous and uncomfortable when talking to strangers; you may also find that there are classmates around you who are introverted but reliable in their actions, and classmates who are extroverted and good at socializing. You may also discover that those classmates who feel uncomfortable when interacting with strangers are also working hard to overcome their own fears; perhaps you will find that communication is not as difficult as you think... I hope you can become a better version of yourself. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11652
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't have any feelings towards people. I'm a bit worried if there's something wrong with my mental health?",
        "description": "I am usually considered relatively normal. I cry when watching inspirational movies or reading books about life and death. I can be moved and saddened. Last year, my mother underwent a major surgery, which was very serious and life-threatening. However, I had no reaction at all (no crying, no feeling of pressure), and I didn't feel sad or distressed. I was emotionally numb. This year, my father injured his leg, and it's also very serious, with the risk of paralysis. My family and relatives are very worried, and my mother cries every day because of this, developing anxiety disorder. But I don't have much reaction to this. My subconscious tells me, \"Anyway, I am not the one with the leg injury, so it has nothing to do with me.\" Now I am a little worried if there is something wrong with my mental state.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ Based on your description, it seems like you have a certain level of emotional detachment. #Science Education: Emotional detachment refers to a state of being unconcerned and indifferent towards things. Emotional disorders typically manifest in three forms: changes in the nature of emotions, changes in emotional fluctuations, and changes in emotional coordination. #From the events you described, it appears that you didn't have much emotional reaction to your family members' health conditions. It could be because you have distant relationships with your family members, so you feel like you don't have much connection with them, leading to a lack of emotional fluctuations. It could also be due to emotional detachment, but this aspect would require a diagnostic assessment at a hospital for a clear understanding. Take care~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18841
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently, there have been significant fluctuations in emotions. Why is it not easy to get out of the low mood once I fall into it?",
        "description": "There was nothing significant that happened, and quitting during the pandemic caused some tension. Currently, I am doing a job that I enjoy, but sometimes I feel low, like everything is hopeless and I have no attachments. This feeling doesn't last long though. My sleep is also not good, I have trouble falling asleep and sometimes only get 2-3 hours a night. I don't think about anything and just play with my phone.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Congratulations, OP, on doing a job you love! Have you ever thought about how feeling down and staying up late are like a set of dominoes? Staying up late can make you feel down, especially if you're just playing with your phone instead of studying or enriching yourself. Is it because you feel like you're wasting time and lack self-discipline, which leads to feelings of sadness? If so, it's time to take action! Look for your interests, exercise, read books, and break free from being a slave to your phone. During the pandemic, I also went through a period of feeling down and not wanting to do anything, but realizing that I was wasting time made me even more depressed. So I enrolled in programming and writing courses, started exercising, and made good use of my time. The sense of despair disappeared because I felt like I had a plan! Time no longer passed slowly. Effort will yield results. I've maintained my six-pack abs and earned money from my writing. You can also achieve success in your favorite field! What you need to do now is to overcome procrastination, make a plan, and take action! I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First, it is necessary to check if the thyroid function is normal. If there is hypothyroidism, symptoms of depression may appear inexplicably. Second, ruling out physical factors, we need to consider the following: 1) What is the impact of resigning on you? Are there any unresolved issues? If so, they may need to be addressed. 2) How much do you enjoy the job you are doing? Do you really enjoy it? 3) Under what circumstances do you feel low, and what can you do to improve the situation? 4) When did your sleep problems start? Is it difficulty falling asleep or waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to sleep? If the above symptoms have been present for a short period of time, it is recommended to try the following actions: 1) Maintain a regular sleep schedule, avoid using your phone one or two hours before bedtime, and instead, soak your feet, listen to music, or read a book. If you can't fall asleep after getting into bed, you can try activities such as meditation or focusing on your breathing to redirect your attention and facilitate sleep. 2) When you notice that you are not feeling well, get up immediately and move your body, make a phone call, take a walk, or pat your pillow, etc. 3) When you catch yourself overthinking, stop it immediately. You can repeat a sentence that you like, the name of someone you miss, or lyrics. In short, say something unrelated that can interrupt your overthinking. 4) Try to avoid negative news and depressing movies or TV shows recently. Engage in more relaxing activities such as cleaning your room, cooking a meal, or making a dessert, etc. If there is no improvement after continuing these actions for a week, it is recommended to seek help from a psychological counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, are you feeling low since you resigned during the pandemic? Perhaps the anxiety you felt when resigning was not resolved at the time and has continued until now. Firstly, I am glad that you have found a job that you enjoy after resigning. Can you try to think about why you felt down after resigning? Was it because you were worried about not finding a suitable job? Can you try to think about it again? If you still feel a bit low in mood, is it because there are some hidden worries in your heart? You mentioned that you enjoy the work you are currently doing, so can you try to think about what things in your job have made you happy since you started? Take your time, even the smallest things can be noted down to help you gradually experience positive emotions. You mentioned that your sleep is not great at the moment, have you tried practicing meditation before bed? Long-term meditation is very helpful for promoting sleep and maintaining emotional stability. If you experience difficulty concentrating when starting meditation, don't worry, it's normal. Take it slow. These are just a few suggestions, and I hope they can help you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, let me give you a virtual hug. From your description, I understand that you resigned during the pandemic and have now found a suitable job. However, sometimes you lack motivation and have trouble sleeping at night because you just want to play with your phone. You are aware that this state is not good and you want to change, which in itself is a positive signal for change and something to be happy about. \u3010A bit of analysis and advice\u30111. The pandemic and resignation are actually two types of life changes. Everyone has their own fixed rhythm of life and anticipated plans. The pandemic has disrupted almost everyone's plans. Students cannot go to school, employees cannot go to work, and some people resign. This in itself is a negative impact of the pandemic on people. Moreover, after a prolonged holiday period during the pandemic, it is normal for you to have difficulty returning to a normal work state. It will take some time for adjustment and buffering to get back to your original state. 2. My advice is not to rush. For things that you currently cannot do or do not want to do, divide them based on importance and urgency. Do a little bit each day or do a bit more each day. It cannot be achieved all at once. Perhaps you will gradually return to your previous work state.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19294
       },
       {
        "question": "It is easy to be influenced by intense emotions and feel distracted. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am easily influenced by strong emotions and unable to complete current tasks. I am constantly affected by events that have happened. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotion regulation, emotional intelligence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand how you feel. Lately, you have been easily affected by strong emotions and distractions. What I want to tell you is that it is not the events themselves that affect your emotions, but rather your perception of them. Our personal interpretation of the causes of events forms our final perspective on them, which in turn affects our emotions and triggers different behaviors. I don't know if you have heard of the \"ABC theory\". This theory was proposed by American psychologist Ellis in the 1960s. It emphasizes that it is our cognitive evaluation of something that triggers our negative or positive emotions and behavioral responses, not the events themselves. Every day, many things happen to everyone, and we continuously make explanations for the causes of these events. Over time, our brains develop a relatively stable explanatory style. Therefore, in many cases, even before we realize the process of interpretation, we have already subconsciously responded to events. This is why some people feel pessimistic and disappointed in the face of the same event, leading to negative actions, while others are motivated and start to strive continuously, ultimately achieving success. This shows that a person's explanatory style profoundly influences their physiological and psychological positive or negative changes and determines their persistence and success or failure. I hope you can correctly perceive your emotions and strive for true moments of happiness. Sometimes, putting yourself in someone else's shoes can bring unexpected results. Lastly, I wish you a happy and joyful life every day.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1579
       },
       {
        "question": "31-year-old female, every job, interpersonal relationships being excluded and bullied?",
        "description": "In the office, I work in statistics and personnel. They talk about me behind my back, commenting on my weight whether I'm too fat or can't lose weight, even turning it into a song that I'm a fool and singing it all day long. When I got angry, I told HR, and they advised me to be mindful of my words, saying that those people are just immature. Later, I realized that the other two people are really close, making fun of me being fat and intentionally or unintentionally excluding me in their conversations. When I directly asked them, they denied it. I feel extremely upset, while they happily hang out together and show off in front of me every day.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts and disputes, deception and trust, colleagues.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Understanding the questioner's current mood, they work very hard at their job. However, they never expected to be made fun of by others for being overweight. It is difficult for them to accept and it makes them angry. They often hear people making fun of others who are not present in social situations, at work, or during offline gatherings. For example, they say things like, \"Oh my, what kind of taste does he/she have?\", \"Who does he/she think they are?\", \"He/she is so dumb, why do they pretend to be something they're not?\", \"Whose person is he/she? How did they even get in here?\", \"He/she was so bizarre that day...\" followed by laughter. Sometimes when the questioner is present, everyone laughs, and they feel they have to laugh too; otherwise, it would be awkward. After laughing, they actually feel that they shouldn't have joined in making fun of that person and can't help but think: since everyone likes to talk behind people's backs, they probably talk about them too when they're not around. This has been a way for people to maintain social connections throughout history and there's no need to worry too much about what others say behind our backs because we can't control their mouths. When people enjoy mocking and belittling others, they feel superior and their self-esteem and pride are greatly satisfied. Additionally, it is a process of self-growth and self-discipline. Especially in the workplace and work-related socializing, one must maintain their own work ability and professional standards, resist the urge to speak ill of others behind their backs, even though it feels good to laugh. A person with true leadership focuses more on self-improvement and tends to overlook others. It is believed that in the workplace, truly outstanding individuals don't waste their valuable time on trivial matters, but only those with inadequate abilities who want others' attention would enjoy mocking others behind their backs. When such a group of people is around, it is natural to block them out, ignore their presence, and focus on one's own abilities, qualities, and personal cultivation. Suggestions: 1- Don't take it to heart, strengthen your inner self and self-confidence. 2- If it really affects your happiness at work, your life, sleep, and you're unable to release stress, learn to establish your boundaries: politely tell the other person they have gone too far. Say \"no\" without being submissive or overbearing. 3- If the second suggestion is difficult, it is advised to establish good relationships with their superiors, supervisors, and leaders. Sometimes saying hello or socializing with them and returning to the office can slightly change the atmosphere. 4- Let's encourage each other. The most important thing is not to let it shake your confidence. I'm here, waiting for you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Caring about what others think can either indicate lack of confidence, where one internalizes others' opinions and feels unwilling to be mocked or excluded, or a need for validation, an inability to tolerate loneliness, and a fear of being isolated. Therefore, 1. If one is indeed a bit overweight (which they say is true), they can change their lifestyle to lose weight, and then others won't be able to say anything. 2. If one doesn't care, it doesn't matter whether others are sincere or cunning, or whether they unite against you; it's all irrelevant. Just focus on doing your own thing and ignore them if you don't want to listen. After all, others have the right to speak. Perhaps they bully others to derive pleasure from their own unhappiness. When you get angry, they are happy. So, being indifferent and carrying on with what you should be doing is the best way to retaliate. 3. Improve yourself and become their superior; they will immediately change their attitude and try to please and flatter you every day.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You are a lovely and innocent little sister! Don't be sad, I'm here to help you! Firstly, it's most important to walk your own path. Be yourself, live your own life, without the need for others' evaluation and approval. This is a belief, a principle, and a correct outlook on life. Secondly, be brave in facing contradictions. If they criticize you face-to-face, you need to analyze rationally why. If you've done well, face the retort without leniency, and leave that department. If you indeed have flaws, don't be stubborn and unrepentant. On one hand, actively correct your interpersonal problems or inherent problems, and on the other hand, strive to change your image and actively show goodwill to them. If that doesn't work, then be decisive. Thirdly, focusing on health is also important. Being overweight is primarily bad for your body. Maintaining a suitable weight and paying attention to your health and managing your image are all important. This is a long-term process of persistence. I hope this helps you. If you need to contact me again, thank you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I saw your anger, frustration, and helplessness in the office. How we handle relationships determines how they will be presented. Take a look at your other relationship patterns, perhaps you are not just having difficulty in the office. To handle relationships well, first understand yourself: what kind of person am I, do I have the courage to present my true self, how do I want to be treated, what will I think if others don't behave as I expect, why does others' attitude affect me... Many times, when we are true to ourselves, others dare not ridicule us. Those who ridicule you don't know how big the world is. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17769
       },
       {
        "question": "Do a person's strengths change with time and different life experiences?",
        "description": "I used to check Gallup for learning purposes. Now, in the assessment, the first advantage is creative thinking.",
        "keywords": "Occupation, occupational management, workplace interpersonal relationships, career choice skills.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Can strengths change? A baby won first place in a crawling competition, beating all the children in the family and all the babies in the hospital. At the age of two, they learned to walk and started walking and running every day. When they were four years old, their family still talked about their victory in the crawling competition. So they found a hospital to compete with the babies there, only to find that they couldn't beat the new champion in crawling. Why? Because for the past two years, they have been learning to walk and learning numbers, so they haven't crawled for a long time! Can people change? The questioner may have the belief that some people never change, but psychological assessments only reflect current states and are not fortune-telling. From the perspective of progress or decline, people have a lot of room for growth and a lot of potential for decline. As long as you make an effort, you can change. However, we can also discuss what can change and what cannot. Psychology defines two things: innate temperament and acquired character traits. Both are usually relatively stable, helping us understand a person's makeup. Even if character traits are acquired, they are still difficult to change. In China, there are many sayings that describe this, such as \"the nature of the land is hard to change.\" This describes how difficult it is for a person's character to change. It's not impossible to change, just challenging. In long-term psychoanalytic therapy, many people have spent many years resolving their issues and embracing life again, breaking the cycle of their problems. It's difficult, but change is possible. As for temperament and character, they are very similar, but we define temperament as the innate part of character, so we won't discuss the part that can change. However, the advantage you mentioned is different, it is more like \"ability\" when compared to character. Abilities can be developed and nurtured. Schools, work, life, and interests constantly shape our lives. We have always known that they can change, and we have been actively changing them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3040
       },
       {
        "question": "I have always felt somewhat awkward in front of people at times.",
        "description": "I am a lonely person with no friends. When I am in a good state of mind, I can take care of myself and live quite well. Even though I do things alone, I feel happy inside. But many times, my mood is not good and I feel lonely among crowds without any friends. My thoughts are conflicting, and I cannot control them. I feel that my body is stiff and clumsy, and I am very reserved in front of people. I am in so much pain...",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can provide you with some help. I sense that you are troubled by interpersonal problems and lack of friends. You have moments of happiness when you are alone, but also experience a lot of pain. You mentioned that your mood is often not good, you feel lonely in crowds, and you are shy and awkward in front of others. You are currently 20 years old, and I wonder if you have been lonely throughout your middle and high school years? If so, I want to give you a warm hug, because it must have been very difficult for many years to have a hard time opening up to others. In your process of growing up, something might have happened, not necessarily something big, but small setbacks that gradually led you to choose to close yourself off. This way of protecting yourself may have served its purpose in the past, but our lives will face different challenges. For example, you are now in university, which is the last \"exercise\" before entering society. In the university campus, you must have come across many new things and learned about the existence of many peers. Even if you are alone, there may be moments when you ponder about the future or when you look at others in groups. Being 20 years old is a stage of growth. Everyone has an inherent motivation to live positively, and at this stage, the self-protective strategy that you used in the past may now become the isolation barrier that keeps you lonely. You cannot solve the problem of loneliness on your own. Humans are social creatures, and although it may be difficult to find close friends or genuine connections, even having casual acquaintances can help alleviate loneliness. So, why not start with simple social interactions? You can create a list of social challenges ranked from easy to difficult, and start with the easiest one. You can learn some basic social skills, such as asking closed or polite questions about someone's career, education, family, or life experiences; asking open-ended questions to gather more information (for example, if you see someone reading a travel book, you can ask if they are planning to visit an interesting place); making positive or light-hearted comments; sincerely expressing praise; exchanging personal information and introducing yourself. Just be with yourself in front of others and do not judge your reactions. \"I feel stiff and awkward in front of people\" - I don't know if this is the main reason preventing you from talking to others, but the principle is the same. First, identify the behaviors or thoughts that prevent you from communicating with others. Usually, it's because you fear being rejected by others, and this fear leads you to self-rejection, and then you decide that as long as you don't take the first step, you won't be rejected. This self-rejection may come from your upbringing. If you rarely received encouragement and approval during childhood interactions with others, and instead received rejection and criticism, it is natural for you to avoid communication with others. So, accept yourself as you are now and acknowledge the survival skills that have brought you to this point. However, you also have the power to choose and change. Accept the awkward and stiff body reactions in front of others, try to relax, or you can even make it more tense, and you will find that these physical stiffness or social awkwardness do not have any catastrophic consequences, and you can still say what you want to say. Best wishes! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Good evening, questioner! Rather than saying that the questioner has no friends, it might be more accurate to say that the questioner wishes to have friends who can seemingly get along so well with others. However, once the questioner truly understands the friendships they envy, they may have different thoughts. For example, how much effort is required to maintain these friendships? Or, as the saying goes, \"a true friend is enough in life.\" Or even, \"celebration is the loneliness of a group.\" In saying all this, the core point is that friends might not be as simple as the questioner imagines, and one may not be as lonely as one imagines. Each of us has our own unique personality; some people are good at socializing while others prefer solitude. Friends can be casual acquaintances, playmates, mutual users, or even toxic friends, but of course, there are also beneficial friends, truthful friends. It is not easy to gain a true friendship, as it requires mutual tempering and the passage of time. Let's not jump to conclusions so easily. On the whole, loneliness is something that everyone needs to face. No one is with oneself at every moment, faithfully accompanying oneself for a lifetime. Learn to face oneself calmly, and when in a good state, it might be worthwhile to try to break through and make friends with people who might become friends. This is a lifelong lesson that we all need to do. That's all, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7338
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the reason why a 24-year-old man cannot feel close to anyone?",
        "description": "There is nothing wrong specifically, but I have noticed that I am in a state where I don't feel close to anyone, and I only feel comfortable and at ease when I am alone. Interactions with other people are only out of politeness or when I need something from them. Even when I go out with friends, I am not willing to actively engage with them. Is this state not normal? Is there a psychological disorder behind it?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, social phobia, empathy.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It is not a mental illness, don't worry~ Generally speaking, people have an inner world and an outer world. What we understand as introverted people are actually people with a rich inner world. The energy within them is sufficient to support their daily life, so they don't need to seek energy from others. Therefore, they may appear quiet and immersed in their own world. On the other hand, extroverted people are the opposite. They enjoy hanging out with friends and gaining energy through social interactions, finding their value in relationships. In my opinion, you seem to be a bit like the introverted person I mentioned earlier, and that's a good thing, so don't worry. For difficult mental health questions, personal psychological healing and growth, visit our WeChat account: xdxl33.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10971
       },
       {
        "question": "33 years old, working together, want to break up, difficult to let go, what should I do?",
        "description": "Over time, feelings developed and I ended up being with my boss after drinking too much. He is five years younger than me, and now it has been over seven months. I tend to overthink things, and he has been in a seven-year-long relationship without getting married. He promised me that he would break up with her after another six months when the new store stabilizes. Every day feels like torture, but we work together, so we see each other every day. We truly love each other and can't be apart. I keep telling myself to let go, but I can't do it. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, dependency, attachment, affection",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I can tell that you are going through a lot of pain right now, and you don't know what to do. Because you got drunk, you ended up being involved with your boss, and now you are in a romantic relationship with him. However, he already has a girlfriend, and they have been together for 7 years. It's possible that he doesn't have strong feelings for you since you were only together because of alcohol. If he really wanted to break up with his girlfriend, he wouldn't have to wait until things are stable. Maybe he is just observing their relationship. You might not even be considered as a backup plan in his mind. If you can't let go, you can express your worries and your true feelings to him. It's time to put an end to your relationship and if he is willing to be with you, he should break up with his girlfriend immediately. But if he can't do that, you have to make the decision to leave decisively and not drag it out. Because in the end, you will be the one hurt. It might also hurt the other person involved. But what's certain is that you and his girlfriend will be equally hurt. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 1799
       },
       {
        "question": "How to have more topics to talk about with parents?",
        "description": "I am a freshman and when I entered university, I saw my roommates having enjoyable conversations with their parents. I feel a bit envious. When I talk to my parents on the phone, we can only talk about recent events or discuss matters that need to be resolved. After that, we don't know what else to talk about. They also don't say much and just tell me to study hard and do my best. Actually, I want to talk about other things, but I don't know how to bring them up. Maybe I'm just a bit introverted. How can I start a conversation with them?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, our parents are our first teachers. They gave us life and raised us, and now we have entered the university stage. There are so many college students in this world, and everyone's experiences are different, as well as the level of relationship with their parents in the family. Those who have a good relationship may have no secrets and can talk about anything, while others may feel a barrier and differentiate what they can and cannot say before speaking. I believe that the topics your roommate talks about with their parents on the phone should not be much different from yours. They probably talk about their recent situation or when there is something to discuss. Maybe your roommate also thinks that you have a good relationship with your parents. If you want to improve your relationship with your parents, you can make some appropriate jokes during phone calls to enhance your bond. You can also observe the tone they use when talking to their parents on a regular basis. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21922
       },
       {
        "question": "My mother is excessively concerned about me and excessively worried. Is my mother sick?",
        "description": "I am the only child in my family. Since I started studying and working in a different city from my mom, she has been excessively concerned about me. The specific behaviors are a bit strange, but I can't quite put my finger on it. For example, my mom starts sending me WeChat messages saying \"good morning\" before 6 a.m. every day. Then she asks me how I'm feeling every day, always assuming that I must not be in a good mood, even though I never tell her that. Actually, I'm in a pretty good mood, but her constant questioning about my mood makes me feel a bit unsettled. And when she doesn't feel well herself, like catching a cold or having diarrhea, she assumes that I must have the same symptoms. It's the weirdest thing. So, I wanted to ask if my mom is sick.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, family health.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your venting, it is clear that you are also very worried about your mother. You are a sensible and filial child, and I commend you for that. As a mother with only one child, especially when the child goes to another city for studying or working, it is natural for her to be concerned. The outside world is big, exciting, and full of dangers. However, I understand that excessive attention makes you uncomfortable. I think your mother might not have many hobbies or have a light workload, so she focuses all her energy on you. You can suggest your mother to expand her social circle and cultivate some hobbies, like sports, singing, dancing, yoga, etc., to shift her attention and prioritize her own life. Best wishes to you!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22034
       },
       {
        "question": "20 years old, recently for the past half month, every day I can't help but want to cry because of various things...?",
        "description": "In the past half month, I have been feeling sad every day because of being ignored by my friends. When I talk to them about it, they don't feel like they have ignored me and think that I am overthinking. I have experienced similar situations before, but in the past half month, I have been so sad every day that I can't help but want to cry. This emotional state has made it difficult for me to complete my daily tasks normally, and the ups and downs of these emotions make me feel exhausted. I don't feel like socializing and just want to be in my own space.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "We humans are constantly battling with ourselves throughout our lives. When our emotions become overly negative, we try to rescue ourselves and pull ourselves out of the vortex of unhappiness. When our emotions become too high and we become excited, even under the influence of alcohol, our brains quickly calm ourselves down to prevent impulsive regret. I hope you can learn to control your emotions and understand how they affect your life and career. I hope my answer can bring you some enlightenment. First, negative restlessness and excited excitement are like two ends of a balance scale. As human beings with seven emotions and six desires, we are naturally influenced by all kinds of emotional stimuli. We become very unstable because we cannot control our mindset. Just like a bowl of water swaying, you will feel very restless. The vicious effects of extreme emotions will follow one after another. (1) You need to become the master of your own emotions, not a slave to them. Only when you can control your emotions can you avoid being overwhelmed by them. Our brains are signal receivers for emotions, and we need to constantly judge, filter, and process the information in our minds. We then make rational behavioral responses based on this information. In this process, we weigh the pros and cons and make decisions and choices as quickly as possible. In this way, people can better balance gains and losses, not only avoiding harm to ourselves, but also ensuring that our genuine reactions do not attack our friends, family, or loved ones. However, it is impossible for a person to always achieve emotional perfection. When we are sensitive and disturbed, we become irritated; when we are complacent, we may blurt out things we shouldn't. These are all caused by our overly extreme emotions, whether it's excitement or distress, both can make you feel pain. So, once you find that you cannot control your emotions for a long time and you are deeply troubled, you must calm yourself down and try to regain control of your emotions with rationality.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I understand your helplessness. Problem analysis: Recently, you have frequently felt upset because you feel that your friends are not paying enough attention to you and are ignoring you. However, when you try to confirm your subjective feelings with your friends, they think they haven't been ignoring you and believe that you're just being oversensitive. It seems that your pain stems from a discrepancy between your subjective feelings and your friends' actual behavior. In the past, you faced similar situations. So how did you handle those situations and alleviate your emotions? Aside from feeling neglected by your friends, are there any other events that make you want to cry? It seems like you have been experiencing this urge to cry every day for the past two weeks, and you don't want to socialize, just wanting to be alone. It appears that you may be in a state of depression. Suggestions: 1. Recognize the connection between specific incidents with your friends and your emotions, and communicate your thoughts to them. Give them suggestions, such as pointing out that when they don't ask for your opinion during meal times, it makes you feel neglected, and you hope they can consult you next time. 2. Considering that your negative state has been ongoing for two weeks without improvement and has caused significant distress in your life, with your family accompanying you, you can go to the hospital for some examinations related to depressive symptoms. If there are any issues, you can receive timely intervention and treatment. 3. Choose effective ways to relieve and ease your emotions, such as exercising/meditating, confiding in trusted individuals, or scheduling appointments with professional counselors to delve deeper into the roots of your emotions. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. First of all, hugs to you. Indeed, I have also experienced a period of being prone to crying and having emotions. It seems that your description may not be complete, for example, is it just recently that you started crying, or have you been crying over certain things before? In the past half month, besides feeling ignored by your friends, have you also encountered other situations that made you more sensitive and easily emotional? Crying is actually not a bad thing. First, you need to accept your emotions and state of mind. To some extent, being able to cry is a way to relieve and detoxify your soul, so you should not think of yourself as having a big problem. Secondly, let's see if we can find more rational solutions together. After each cry, we should not let it be in vain. We can summarize with friends so that the next time you won't feel as saddened, and avoid repeatedly using crying to solve problems. This process of reflection is actually quite important. For example, you can chat with friends and express your anxiety and worries. They will deny one by one and say that those things won't happen, then you should firmly believe in their understanding: trust your friends and believe that it's just your overthinking. If we often think this way, we will easily break free from anxious and negative thinking patterns and not let them affect us. Additionally, you can take the time to reflect on your childhood experiences and whether you have experienced neglect from your family. In the past, when you felt helpless, did you often try to alleviate your emotions with sadness and crying? If that's the case, your frequent crying now is actually a learned way of dealing with things from your childhood. Because some basic coping mechanisms are easily ingrained in us from a very young age. Therefore, it requires us to empathize with and accept our younger selves, understand our emotions at that time, and allow our present selves to no longer live in the shadows. Keep going, there is no major problem. I hope that after you cry, every day will be a sunny day for you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello friend! Every day, I feel upset because of my friends' neglect, but they think there is actually nothing wrong. This is simply a difference in perception. Let me tell you a story: There was a person who really liked a certain car. However, because they didn't have the money to buy it at that time, they had to put it aside. Recently, due to their hard work at work, they received a reward from their boss and finally bought the car they had always wanted. They were very happy and drove the car back. However, on the way, they saw many cars similar to their own, either in appearance, color, or brand. They thought to themselves, \"So many people like this type of car!\" However, in reality, the styles of the cars were all similar, but they had failed to notice it before. Now that they have bought their own car, their focus has shifted, and they tend to associate any similar cars they see with their own. Why is this? It is mainly because they have bought a car and their subconscious attention has changed, so they tend to notice many cars that are similar to their own. What is the message I want to convey? Is it possible that recent events have reminded you of some memories and triggered certain thoughts that just won't go away, making you feel uneasy and ignored? Therefore, in your interactions with friends, you are eagerly searching for evidence to support this uneasiness. As a result, your friends' normal behavior is interpreted as neglect towards you, even though they do not have such intentions. Many times, emotions come without warning, and we have no idea what triggered them. It is likely that memories hidden in our subconscious mind are being activated. Since they are hidden in the subconscious, we are unable to detect what caused our feelings. Of course, this is just a personal speculation, hoping to give you a different perspective to understand yourself. Lastly, I want to say that no matter what, the world and I love you!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 6014
       },
       {
        "question": "My boyfriend has chosen to repeat his senior year of high school. He will be taking the college entrance exam soon. What should I do?",
        "description": "The college entrance examination and my boyfriend's score were only two points apart. He was unwilling to settle for mediocrity and chose to retake the exam, while I, being timid, didn't dare to take the risk and ended up in an unsatisfactory university. Now, he is about to take the exam again, and I am torn between whether to continue being there for him as usual or to quietly distance myself during this period. I have been contemplating the latter option for a long time because I am afraid that sudden changes might also affect him.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's better to take some time to quiet down for now. I'm not sure how to not affect your boyfriend's exam condition. Should you reduce the frequency of chatting, or maybe try to honestly ask your boyfriend about his thoughts?##If your boyfriend wants to temporarily reduce the frequency of chatting, then you should reduce the number of times you contact him. If your boyfriend feels indifferent, then you can continue chatting with him as usual. Don't forget to provide your boyfriend with spiritual support and encouragement. This is just my suggestion, I hope it can help you. Good luck!",
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21706
       },
       {
        "question": "You are never satisfied with your romantic relationships. How to manage and nurture relationships between genders?",
        "description": "Always dissatisfied with your romantic relationship, always thinking about people you used to have a crush on. Feeling guilty and helpless, wanting to resort to cold violence!",
        "keywords": "Dating, managing relationships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, from the text of the question, one can sense the distress the questioner feels in their love life. They are dissatisfied with their relationships, often think about someone they used to have a crush on, feel guilty, and feel helpless. This can prevent them from enjoying a normal and sweet love life and, over time, can make them feel even more frustrated about maintaining intimate relationships. Sending the questioner a virtual hug. Our approach to intimate relationships is greatly influenced by our family upbringing. The questioner can reflect on whether there are any similarities between their current handling of intimate relationships and their patterns of interacting with their parents. Moreover, if someone is never satisfied with their romantic relationships, is it dissatisfaction that starts from the beginning or does it develop after a certain period of time? If it is dissatisfaction from the beginning, what is the reason for initiating a romantic relationship? If it is dissatisfaction that arises after a certain period of time, what happened to cause the dissatisfaction? Is it related to one's sense of security in relationships or to how one manages the relationship, or is it related to the partner? If someone often thinks about someone they used to have a crush on, what does that person mean to them? Does it represent their yearning for a romantic relationship or their imagination of an ideal romantic partner? These are issues that the questioner should think carefully about in order to gain a better understanding of themselves and to find more targeted ways to solve their problems. Suggestions: 1. Take some time to think about the type of romantic relationship one desires and the qualities they want in a partner. This will help them find a more suitable romantic partner and better manage the relationship. 2. Reflect on past romantic experiences and determine what aspects they were dissatisfied with. Then, use this knowledge to learn from past experiences and adjust their approach to romantic relationships. 3. If one feels a lack of security or lacks skills in handling intimate relationships, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional counselor to grow in these areas.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "I suddenly thought of a lyric, \"'What is unattainable is always in turmoil, those who are favored have nothing to fear\". This kind of romantic relationship is not innate, but it is influenced by learned experiences from past relationships. Therefore, in love, it is necessary to redefine \"relationship\": 1. It is unique, important, and likely different from past experiences. 2. It is a relationship that needs to be \"maintained\", unlike family relationships that remain unchanged regardless of what happens. I think of the people I used to have a crush on. Having a crush is like looking at the scenery across the lake, it feels beautiful and nostalgic, it is a kind of hazy beauty. Compared to close relationships, I prefer relationships with a bit of distance, satisfying my imagined relationship, is it like this? I feel guilty and helpless. Every uncomfortable experience is an opportunity to reconcile with myself. Discomfort arises when needs are not met, and it can be resolved through self-dialogue. Take a look at what I want. In the end, you love each other because you need each other, not because you need each other that you love each other. May words accompany you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your question I can see that despite being dissatisfied with your romantic relationship, you are still trying to improve it. I don't know why your previous relationship ended or why your current relationship started, but it seems that there were aspects of the first relationship that you were not happy with, yet now you miss them, indicating that there were certain things you needed. Similarly, with your current relationship, it initially met some of your needs, but now your needs may have changed. It seems like you are searching for something in this process. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine what you were looking for in both of these relationships. It appears that there were certain aspects of your ex-partner that you desired, while rejecting others, and the same goes for your current partner. However, these desired aspects from both individuals cannot be pieced together, which is why you continuously feel dissatisfied and keep searching. We as humans are often imperfect, with both good and bad aspects. Through the process of personal growth, we can gradually integrate these two parts, allowing ourselves to embrace both the good and the bad, and thus view others in a more harmonious way.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! From your description, I understand that you are not satisfied with your romantic relationship. I don't know your age or occupation, but I wonder if you have reached the age for marriage. It's normal to have lingering feelings for someone you had a crush on. If you are not satisfied with your romantic relationship, take some time to reflect on what kind of person you need as a lifetime partner. Perhaps the person you are with is not the type of person you want. Maybe they are not the Prince Charming you expected, or perhaps you have different values, and so on. Dating is a process of continuous learning and growth, and it involves making constant choices. Cold violence is not a solution to any problem. In fact, it can harm the other person. Learning to communicate and resolve issues promptly is the best way to navigate a romantic relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 5686
       },
       {
        "question": "Feel like many of it was \"cheated\" into their hands, lacking a sense of achievement?",
        "description": "I feel that the money I earn and the excellent girlfriends I have had are mostly obtained through \"deception\". I have employed some mental strategies or understood the psychology of my girlfriend and clients. I \"trick\" my way into getting money and love, rather than them liking me from the beginning. It seems that if I don't package myself or use some techniques to satisfy or entice them, I won't obtain these. I will feel a lack of fulfillment.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "My response: Hello! I saw your question. You are able to observe your behavior and reflect on it, which is wiser than most people and shows your agile thinking. However, I also see your confusion. According to your description, I see several issues that may be your life challenges. It seems that you have obtained money and had a good girlfriend \"by deceiving\" them, which on the surface shows your excellence and ability, but actually reflects a certain inner deficiency. We all wear masks in society, and the true self beneath the mask may be what we are constantly pursuing in our lifetime. You mentioned that you feel a lack of a sense of accomplishment, but in fact, you are not lacking achievements, but rather the feeling of \"authenticity\". Have you ever tried earning money or dating without packaging yourself? Do they dislike, accept, tolerate, or like your \"no packaging\"? We cannot constantly live in a state of \"packaging\", or we will live exhausting lives and be unable to enjoy a beautiful life. Human interactions are always mutual. Trusting others is not foolish. Sometimes, you feel that you have earned money or had a good girlfriend by using certain \"techniques\". But the other person may not be completely oblivious. In other words, your \"deception\" is what they need, and they don't blame you for it. Therefore, your \"deception\" cannot be called deception; it can only be seen as your way of dealing with people. As long as it doesn't violate morals, ethics, or laws, you also need to accept yourself. The \"lack of a sense of accomplishment\" you mentioned is just a surface phenomenon, actually reflecting the emptiness in your heart. Where is your value? What contributions have you made to society? Have you ever felt love for yourself and others? In my opinion, you are not clear about what you truly want. Perhaps your inner desire is not to earn money or have a good girlfriend, but simply to have a sense of \"authenticity\". You want to earn a salary that you deserve through your own efforts, and you want a girlfriend who genuinely loves you, right? My suggestions: Acceptance + Change 1. Accept your \"techniques\" because it is your style of doing things. You can't change it all at once, and you don't want to lose all the skills you have acquired through so much effort. Accept yourself as you are and strive to become your true self. 2. You can try changing some of your thoughts, for example, while asking questions, also reflect on yourself. This is great, as it is the first step towards change. For example, you can find a blank piece of paper, write down the things that are important to you, and then cross out everything else, leaving only one thing. That one thing is what you truly want. 3. Exchange sincerity with sincerity. If you are sincere enough, everyone will be able to feel it and will definitely respond to you sincerely. Best wishes and grateful to have connected with you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Through careful reading of your description, I can deeply feel that you care about this sense of achievement, which is actually a reflection of a sense of inner lack. Because you yourself know that you have obtained a so-called girlfriend or money through certain methods, the word \"cheater\" you used can help imagine a very elusive feeling, it does not exist in reality. And our conscience, that is, our inner essence, in order to truly feel comfortable, we should live in the present moment, truly love and truly exist. This will make us feel more grounded and at peace. Ah, now you are experiencing the feeling of being a cheater and lacking a sense of achievement, these two words you used, I think they represent your current emotions and psychological state. From that perspective, you are more eager for true love, or the genuine love that comes from the bottom of your heart, and after obtaining that, you can gain a wealth of energy and a sense of fulfillment. In fact, when you are talking to your girlfriend or trying to get money from clients, when you use the word \"cheater,\" you can feel that throughout the whole process, your energy is scattered outward instead of being absorbed inward. As a result, you gradually feel a lack of achievement. So, if you have time, I suggest you engage in some public welfare activities, such as visiting children in welfare homes or children with autism, or helping stray dogs. You can find some organizations in your city and go once a week or for a period of time. By doing this, it will help fulfill your other energy needs. When you go there, it should be voluntary and just a simple act of helping them. You will feel a different sense of energy. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Feel that many things are \"cheated\" to get, lack of a sense of achievement? Hello, OP, first of all, I understand and sympathize with your situation, and I want to give you a big hug to make you feel the warmth of the world. In fact, regarding your situation, we can explain it in terms of your need for achievements. The reason why you feel that you lack a sense of achievement is based on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. There are five levels of human needs, and after satisfying basic physiological and safety needs, we pursue higher levels. For example, the sense of achievement you are currently seeking, if you cannot find a girlfriend or make money, you will not talk about the so-called sense of achievement. Only when you have a girlfriend or make money, you will feel that your sense of achievement is not high enough. So, you do not lack a sense of achievement, but you feel that this sense of achievement comes too easily and does not meet your desired level and needs. Therefore, we might as well slow down, set goals gradually, that is, what things can truly achieve your so-called sense of achievement, rather than just focusing on making money and \"cheating\" a girlfriend. For example, if you go to the gym or running today, or if you don't have supper, etc., doing some self-disciplined things, often you will gain a higher sense of achievement. So what OP needs now is to seek something beyond your cognitive range in order to achieve a higher sense of achievement, rather than staying in the fixed circle of making money and \"cheating\" a girlfriend, where you can find a so-called sense of achievement. But I also hope that OP can recognize one fact, which is that no matter what, you are very intelligent and capable, because that kind of \"cheating\" is not entirely in the true sense, but rather you understand people's psychology and make choices and actions based on that. Wish OP happiness and joy.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. If you believe that the money you've earned and the excellent girlfriend you have are all obtained through deception, then you're really something. Actually, whether it's packaging or not, it doesn't matter. At least you have the ability to package yourself, which is a skill just like sales. Selling oneself requires packaging oneself and using sales techniques to increase credibility and improve product sales. What you're doing is not selling products, but selling yourself. You have successfully sold yourself. In this process, you enjoy a great sense of accomplishment because you have succeeded. However, afterwards, you're afraid that this success is only fake and not the real you. So the question you're contemplating is: what does the un-packaged version of yourself look like? What kind of person does the excellent girlfriend like? If you were to let go of the packaging, would the girlfriend break up with you? The establishment of a relationship cannot be based on deception. So, what are you seeking? Maybe you would say that you are seeking her excellence. But if, after being together for a long time, you discover her imperfections, would you stop loving her and consider breaking up? Nobody is perfect. The reason you think all of this is a deception is that you lack confidence in your true self. You know your imperfections, and you are smart enough to know what others like about you. That's why you hide your weaknesses and package your strengths to become a successful person in the eyes of others, and then gain a sense of achievement. When you strip away all of this, anxiety arises. Why don't we try accepting our imperfections? Just like how you have encountered many people and surely discovered their imperfections, including those excellent girlfriends, how do they deal with their imperfections? Try accepting them, and then interact with them calmly. You will find that those flaws you have been hiding, the girlfriend has long since discovered, but she still loves you for who you are.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, I hope my answer can be of some help to you. After carefully reading your description, it seems that you feel that the money you earn and the girlfriends you have had are mostly obtained through \"deception\". You believe that it is because you have used strategies and techniques that you have acquired these things, and you feel that they did not initially like you but only grew to like you through your inducements and techniques. And if you don't use these inducements and techniques, you believe that you would not be able to obtain these things, hence feeling a lack of a sense of accomplishment. Is this correct? My feeling is that you want to be a more authentic version of yourself, hoping that when earning money and being in a relationship, you can be true to yourself rather than meeting the other person's needs and making them depend on you. Isn't that right? You hope that they like the real you and in all types of relationships, you can let go of overthinking, and this version of you without any \"strategies\" or \"inducements\" is also someone they would like. Isn't that right? Now from another perspective, is that version of you that is able to meet their needs the real you? Or perhaps, you can sincerely ask them why they like you and are willing to pay money to you, what qualities of yours do they value, maybe it's different from what you imagine. In reality, perhaps this matter has nothing to do with others, it's just that you don't like this version of yourself. Notice the voice within your heart, reflect on why you have such thoughts, and what kind of self do you desire? Take it slow, as long as we are willing, we can definitely get closer and closer to the self we desire.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 588
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it normal to have a poor emotional connection with parents and siblings?",
        "description": "I have always felt that the emotional connection between myself and my parents, as well as my siblings, has not been good since I was little (although it may be just my one-sided perception). However, there are still moments when I am moved and deeply touched. A few days ago, a friend came to my house and talked to me for a long time, and she cried a lot. She said she feels sorry for her parents and wants to treat them well, but she just can't seem to do it.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, your parents and siblings are the closest people to you, and they all love you very much. Maybe some of their behaviors may seem inappropriate to you, but I hope you can open your heart and communicate more with your family. Take the initiative to talk to them about your thoughts and feelings. Your family is always the strongest support system, and home is the warmest harbor. If you want to be good to your parents but can't do it, it may be because you're not very good at expressing your emotions. Perhaps you can give yourself more psychological hints on a regular basis. You can also communicate more with your parents. Maybe you can express your emotions to your parents every day, frequently saying things like \"I love you\" and \"thank you.\" Perhaps you can also help with household chores at home to share the burden with your parents. I believe you can definitely express your love for your parents. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13334
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I start to like someone? I always have trouble concentrating in class.",
        "description": "I am constantly attracted by the boy sitting next to me. I can't concentrate in class and can't help but glance at him. Even when I'm doing homework at home, my mind is filled with thoughts of him. But I always feel like he's not interested in me. We don't interact much, and he spends all his time playing with other girls. My close friends advise me to give up, but even though I say I will, I still like him. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, affection",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, don't suppress your emotions. Whatever is suppressed will eventually come to the surface. Handle your emotions and feelings in an appropriate way that doesn't affect your normal studying and life. From your description, it seems that you have developed feelings for a boy, and you miss him and pay attention to his every move, which is affecting your normal state. First, identify your own feelings. Do you like him? What specific aspects of him attract you? You need to answer these questions yourself because the things that attract us are often things we lack ourselves. When you have a clear understanding that you like him, and it's romantic attraction rather than just admiration, then you may know what to do. Having romantic feelings is not a bad thing. Caring about and getting close to someone can teach us many things, such as giving and waiting. Analyze your current state of mind, understand your purpose in this matter so that you won't be entangled or in pain. Did you choose to give up because he doesn't have feelings for you? Or because you can't have a relationship yet or it would affect your studies, so you can't take the next step? Or do you want to forget about him or not like him, in order to focus on your classes and studies? If your goal is to focus on your studies, you can try to concentrate your attention in class. It's okay to take a glance, but then bring your focus back to the lesson and use your willpower to redirect your attention instead of constantly getting immersed in thoughts about him. In the early stages of liking someone, they can indeed occupy our minds, but as long as we repeatedly bring our attention back to ourselves, gradually, we can control our yearning and daydreaming. If your goal is to be together, regardless of who opposes it, you can naturally get closer to him and gradually let him know your feelings, learn to give and express your care. If his response is cold and distant, you may need to quickly withdraw your emotions. However, you still need to maintain your studying state. Even if you and him are in a relationship, the two of you need to discuss and plan how to maintain a positive and supportive relationship without affecting your studies, your friendships, and your relationships with family, etc. You can care for each other and be there for each other, but it should always be a result of 1+1>2, rather than causing any harm to either of you. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13283
       },
       {
        "question": "Does having the first child determine the rest of one's life?",
        "description": "As I sit here typing, my eyes are feeling a bit sore. I don't know how I got through that period, and I don't even know where to begin. In May of this year, I had an abortion for my first child. I dreamt that it was a little girl. Only God knows... Now, I'm moody and unwilling to communicate with the outside world. I can spend every day at home, with my sleep time gradually getting longer. Perhaps you can understand, and I'm glad to have someone who can empathize. If you don't understand, then I have nothing more to say.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotional regulation, fragile tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~~Give the OP a warm hug. From the description, I can feel the OP's emotions. I also feel very sorry for the loss of the first baby. I feel heartbroken for what you are going through right now. I believe that every mother considers their children of utmost importance, even if they are no longer with us. I'm sure the OP has very complex but sincere feelings for the baby. Therefore, I can understand these thoughts of the OP very well. On the other hand, I am also very worried about the OP's current emotional state. From the description, I feel that the OP may already have depressive emotions (note that this is not the same as clinical depression). We may not be able to start over and make up for past regrets, but the future is still waiting for us to get better. For these current low emotions, I think it would be best for the OP to seek help from professionals who can provide more detailed assistance. On the other hand, the OP may consider starting with trusted and close people around them to increase communication, which can also help us relieve our emotions.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 57,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 57,
            "end": 136,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 136,
            "end": 227,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 227,
            "end": 314,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9091
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I overcome my fear of advocating for my own interests and feeling powerless?",
        "description": "I dare not take the initiative to fight for my own interests, I am always afraid of arguing with others, would rather suffer in silence, avoid problems, and cannot face them. I feel powerless and do not know how to change. I always have a negative view of myself and feel useless. What should I do in this situation?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I carefully read your question. In your question, I see that you have always felt like you are in a passive state in interpersonal relationships, unable to effectively protect your own interests. You often feel a lack of inner strength and have been wanting to change but cannot find a way to do so. This feeling can be distressing, as the sense of powerlessness and frustration of not being able to attain what you desire can lead to a cycle of defeat and loss. So, how should we view and improve our own issues? In understanding your interpersonal communication style, communication styles can be divided into five types: competitive, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating. These differences in human personality are actually differentiated based on the dimensions of \"concern for interests\" and \"value for relationships\". In your question, you value both your interests and relationships, without leaning excessively towards one dimension. However, for some reason, you ultimately choose to avoid problem-solving, seemingly feeling uncomfortable facing the issues, but also unable to let go of your interests and relationships. Therefore, you seem more like someone with an \"avoiding\" communication style. This style is actually the least beneficial in interpersonal interactions since it leads to neither gaining interests nor relationships. The resulting inner turmoil can make you feel exceptionally uncomfortable. Therefore, we need to think about how to improve our communication style. Explore the underlying stories behind your \"avoiding\" style. When you have feelings and states such as \"fear,\" \"feeling wronged,\" and \"feeling powerless\" in interpersonal relationships, what do you associate them with? In your mind, when did these feelings start? I don't know what experiences you have been through, but certain memories have made you fearful and anxious about the external environment. Although these images have become blurred over time, these emotions remain intact and are inadvertently activated. Therefore, what I want to tell you is that the fear and anxiety you feel in current interpersonal relationships are actually manifestations of past feelings, a \"misjudgment\" of the current environment. Because of those memories, you developed a subconscious signal that says \"the external environment is dangerous,\" and this subconscious language has become the background color of your interpersonal relationships. All your thoughts and ideas are based on the cognition that \"I believe the environment is very dangerous.\" As a result, you feel afraid, sensitive, and fearful. Of course, exploring your own story cannot directly solve the problem, but it can help you generate awareness, enabling you to recognize when you are in a state of \"misjudgment\" when facing problems in the future. This can allow you to try to break free from this biased perception and create possibilities for establishing new communication relationships. By consciously becoming a \"collaborator\" in relationships, both internally and externally, you can construct a better communication style. To become a collaborative communicator, the most important thing is to give up a one-sided mindset \u2013 the idea that believes the benefits of a matter are limited: \"If I take 40%, you will have only 60% left.\" This is a typical zero-sum game thinking. In this mindset, the benefits are predefined from the beginning, leaving no possibility for creating new value and interests. However, collaboration fundamentally changes this thinking. It allows us to see that the value and benefits of a matter can be expanded through collaboration, creating more possibilities. In collaboration, we can gain more than 100% satisfaction. This is a better outcome for both parties, as you can not only gain relationships but also benefits. Therefore, when you encounter an issue related to interests, try to first become aware of yourself and then actively consider the communication style you want to adopt. Learn to see the collaborative increment in the matter. Gradually, through effort and change, you will gain a sense of value and confidence, thereby improving your interpersonal communication style. I hope the above response is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there. Are you feeling frustrated, helpless, and worthless because you don't dare to assert yourself, always give up your own interests, and avoid problems? Since you're here asking for advice, it indicates that you have the desire to change and to become more empowered in facing and handling issues, as well as being more resilient in dealing with the difficulties that might arise. Your passive surrendering is not entirely a bad thing, and it must have brought you some benefits. It can be inferred that your coping strategy for dealing with problems has mainly been avoidance, compromise, and giving up, which may have caused you to lose out on what was rightfully yours. However, isn't there any silver lining to this approach? From what I can see, there are advantages, such as not having to argue with others, avoiding truly confronting and addressing problems, and not having to endure the frustration of failure in seeking what you want. In summary, it has saved you a lot of effort and spared you the difficulties and pain. On the other hand, if you make an effort to fight for what you deserve, you will have to face and handle the aforementioned problems and endure various uncertainties. Of course, the benefit is an increased chance of obtaining what you want. So, both choices have their advantages. Your behavior merely aligns with what you believe deep down. When you feel increasingly aggrieved and unhappy, you need to ask yourself, which benefits do you lean more towards when comparing the two choices? In other words, which kind of pain do you prefer or can better bear? If you can discern your own true answer, I believe you will find the path you should take. The reasons that caused you to feel this way are not important, and the problems that hinder you from taking action are also not important. We often analyze why an individual has formed their unique patterns of thinking and behavior, and we also list the factors that prevent us from reaching our goals. However, people will also find themselves stuck and unable to move forward, even after understanding the cause and effect and identifying the problem. This is because problems constantly arise and never disappear. Does this mean we should just keep standing still? This is the point I want to share: all those aforementioned things are not important. What is important is that you genuinely need to take action. It is certainly easier to take action when there are no difficulties, but even when facing difficulties, there is a way to take action. Find your own resources and strengths, and truly act. Before you take action, remember: if you don't succeed in fighting for something, it's normal; it simply means that this time, this particular matter was unsuccessful, but it doesn't mean you have failed. Gain more experience, build different interpersonal relationships, listen to how others evaluate you, and avoid getting trapped in a cycle of self-denial. What you think others say negatively about you may not be true; it may be something you imagined. You can find ways to access resources, including but not limited to: 1) Do you have any examples from your past where you successfully stood your ground or fought for your own success? Anything will do. If you do, think about how you felt and what you learned from that experience. 2) How do people around you fight for their own interests, and what methods and approaches can you learn from and emulate? 3) Do you have someone in your life who can offer advice and help in this area? 4) Practice from daily trivial matters; start experiencing what it feels like to defend your position, and when you succeed, summarize it and continue practicing. In short, any change starts with tiny steps. No matter how much you ponder, it can't compare to the impact of a genuine experience. I sincerely wish you can soon overcome this predicament and become the person you want to be. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! I see your question: \"I don't dare to actively fight for my own interests and feel powerless. What should I do? I'm afraid of conflicts because I've been seriously deprived of my rights before, and since then, I feel unworthy. The fear of conflicts stems from past conflicts that have created inner conflicts within myself, making me afraid to confront them directly. If you want to fight for your interests without relying on fair distribution, it is likely that others have overstepped their boundaries and failed to allocate them correctly to you. In this situation, it is possible that the impression you give others is relatively weak, allowing them to believe they can take advantage, or even though you strongly desire it internally, you give off an impression of not wanting to engage with the world, naturally leading others to not lean towards you. When you give in, you only burden yourself; when you avoid problems, you face them alone. Where does your strength come from? First, you must not deplete your own strength, which means not avoiding or victimizing yourself. Unite all your strength and project it outwardly. When fighting for your own interests, there will inevitably be arguments with others. As long as it is within reasonable limits, once you obtain what rightfully belongs to you, what can others say? What right do they have to obstruct your interests? As long as you express yourself with reason and evidence, with courtesy and composure, without using attacking language and attitude to argue, you won't have face-to-face conflicts with others. You can use those voices that used to deny yourself to encourage and motivate yourself. In your heart, consider yourself and others as equals, with a friendly mindset, and face yourself and others accordingly. The fears and retreats you experienced in the past belong to the past. The people you encounter are different, and their attitudes towards you are different. Only by daring to speak up for yourself can others truly respect you. You can start training from now on, affirm yourself more, find your own strengths, praise yourself more, and encourage yourself to try to defend your legitimate rights. Every little progress you make and every bit of strength you gain will increase your confidence and help you become a strong and confident version of yourself in the future! I hope this answer can help you. Cheering for you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When we were young, our elders always taught us that suffering is a blessing, but they did not tell us that this is a dog-eat-dog society, which has led to many people being submissive when they enter society. 1. Opportunities are for those who are prepared, but we also need to seize the opportunity. Let's take an example in the workplace: there are often situations where the project period is tight, and the superiors entrust us with important tasks and promise some benefits. However, after the project is launched, they take all the credit for themselves and do not mention the previous commitments at all. How should we handle this? We can choose to be patient and hope that the other party will promote us if they have a conscience. But in similar situations in the future, will we still give our all? Will we hold any grudges? Or we can choose to confront the other party, take some time to talk to them and ask how they plan to handle this matter. If the other party promises again, it's best to keep some audio or written evidence for potential needs. If the other party refuses to admit it, or even threatens us, we can also keep some evidence to protect our legitimate interests. In fact, the most important point is our own value. If this matter is indispensable, then our value is irreplaceable. We will be proactive. But if we are dispensable and can be replaced at any time, then most of the time we will be passive. Therefore, accumulation and self-improvement in daily life are very important, especially when we have opportunities to showcase our abilities. If we have the ability to challenge, it is best not to be afraid, because if the leader is willing to give us the opportunity, it means that they have already considered the possibility of failure, so all we need to do is try our best. 2. Start with small things and simple tasks. Many times, we look down on small things or doubt ourselves, thinking that we are not competent and dare not try. In fact, every big thing is composed of small things, and what we need to do is start from small things, try first, and not be afraid of failure, gradually finding our own value. Let's take an example: our superiors assign us a task that we have never encountered before. How should we approach it? First, we can look for relevant cases and see if there are any areas we can learn from. Create a rough outline and process. Then, learn to make good use of the resources around us. If our superiors have experience in this area, we can consult them about our plan. If they are also handling it for the first time, we can report the progress and direction to them. Finally, learn to regularly review and adjust the direction, as things may not go as expected and plans may change. So, we need to be adaptable. We can learn from failures and not be too proud of successes, as losing is not scary because we won't keep falling in the same place. The world loves you and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there!\u203b I don't dare to actively pursue my own interests, always afraid of arguing with others, would rather suffer in silence, avoid problems, and not face them. I feel powerless, and I want to change but don't know how. I always have negative thoughts about myself and feel useless. I don't dare to fight for my own interests and always criticize myself internally. The main reason is lack of self-confidence, which results in low self-esteem and the absence of the courage to express oneself or fight for one's rights. Therefore, the key to solving this problem lies in overcoming self-doubt and building self-confidence. Self-confidence itself is a kind of positivity, an optimistic attitude towards self-evaluation. The lack of self-confidence leads to weak, incomplete, and low-effective positivity. Self-confidence is a heartfelt self-affirmation and belief. It is crucial in interpersonal relationships, careers, and work. Only when you believe in yourself will others believe in you. Social psychologist Bandura proposed a theory called self-efficacy, which refers to \"the degree of confidence in one's ability to utilize the skills one possesses to accomplish a certain task.\" In addition to outcome expectations, Bandura also emphasized the importance of efficacy expectations. Outcome expectations refer to people's predictions about the consequences of their behavior. If people anticipate that a particular behavior will lead to a specific outcome, that behavior is more likely to be activated and chosen. Therefore, the key to building self-confidence is to believe that you can succeed, not only in terms of the expected results but also in having confidence in yourself to do the task. Only by establishing a strong sense of self-efficacy can one overcome self-doubt and regain self-confidence. In work and study, do not constantly negate yourself. Give yourself some encouragement and do not impose limitations on yourself before even starting. Break free from these limiting beliefs and find the feeling of confidence and freedom within yourself! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Questioner! I'm glad to answer your inner concerns. \"I am afraid to actively pursue my own interests, always afraid of arguing with others, would rather endure grievances, avoid problems, and not dare to face them. I feel powerless in my heart and want to change but don't know how to change? I always have a negative view of myself and feel useless. What should I do in this situation?\" Due to factors such as our innate temperament, genetic factors, and upbringing, we have developed our current thinking and behavior patterns. When you feel uncomfortable with your self-perception and way of dealing with things, I believe it is also the moment you start to become aware of yourself. When you reflect on yourself, it is also the first step towards change. Not daring to actively pursue your own interests indicates that you have a weak sense of self-boundary or no sense of self-boundary. When your sovereignty is violated by others but you dare not resist, I believe it will make you feel very suppressed, uncomfortable, and even hurt. Assertiveness is a person's vitality. When a person lacks assertiveness outwardly, their assertiveness will turn inward and attack themselves. Attacking oneself internally creates a sense of repression, grievances, a belief of being useless, and can even lead to depression. So, I understand your terrible feelings. Sometimes we think that when we feel uncomfortable being violated, we would rather suppress ourselves and not attack others because we are afraid of offending them, making them unhappy, hurting them, or affecting the image they have of us in their minds, and so on. However, sometimes the consequence of doing so is that others will take advantage of us even more and disrespect us. Having appropriate assertiveness and healthy assertive behavior is about safeguarding our sovereignty and gaining respect from others. This is a powerful approach. Why do we all envy those who have very smooth emotions? It is because they have their own boundaries and sovereignty, which they maintain. This makes people live more openly and allows others to realize their boundaries, without affecting the relationship between them. Therefore, to be a refreshing person, it is necessary to have our own boundary of sovereignty. We also have an obligation to safeguard our own boundary of sovereignty and have a responsibility to live our lives more smoothly. I hope my analysis and advice can help you a little. The road to change is difficult, but I believe you can do it! Keep going! The world will always love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. After reading your question, I can sense your anxiety about wanting to change yourself but not knowing how to take action. Your lack of self-confidence leads to constant self-denial, and your somewhat weak personality prevents you from being brave enough to actively pursue your own interests, causing you to choose to escape. Here, I will provide you with a few suggestions in the hopes that they can help you! Build self-confidence: Adjust your mindset, encourage yourself more, give yourself positive psychological suggestions, affirm your own value, objectively evaluate yourself, and make yourself more confident. Only with a strong inner strength can you have the power to pursue opportunities and interests, and face difficulties and setbacks. Find your position and constantly improve your abilities: Improve yourself through learning, reading, and other means, so that you can obtain substantial accumulation and progress, making yourself more competitive and confident in your work, and better equipped to pursue your own interests. Dare to take the first step and fight for your own interests: When we lack the courage to do something, we tend to magnify its difficulty and fear, giving ourselves negative psychological suggestions, which further discourage us from taking action. Dare to take the first step, challenge yourself. When you successfully take the first step, regardless of the outcome, you will gain new experiences and greater courage. Cultivate your interests, enrich your life: Through hobbies and interests, make your life more exciting, focus on yourself, see a different side of yourself, experience a different life, and change your mindset. Recognize your possibilities and diversity, and it also helps you find like-minded friends. Take the initiative to communicate with friends: Each of us has a different personality. Taking the initiative to communicate with friends, confide in them about your troubles, and try to accept their suggestions and ways of dealing with things, you can experience different perspectives and methods that can help you find a better way to solve problems that suits you. I hope you become braver, believe in yourself, and affirm yourself! Best wishes! Your personal mental health consultant by your side. May my words bring warmth to you! Also, thank you to the occasional passing friend who read this. Feel free to follow me and click \"useful\"!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your words, it can be seen that you have the desire to change. Since you have the courage to ask, it is the beginning of facing your fears. I guess when you were a child, you may have received less encouragement from your father and mother, so you lacked a sense of security and self-worth. Especially for children after the age of six, the power of courage is particularly in need of affirmation from their father. If this part was missing during our childhood, we would try to gain our parents' love through pleasing them, and gradually neglect our self-worth, making it difficult to express our assertiveness. The power and courage of a person is actually the manifestation of our own assertiveness, our ability to bravely defend our rights. One is that we have the power, and the other is that our boundaries are clear. If our parents didn't allow us to be ourselves when we were young and always made decisions for us, it is possible that our boundaries were disrupted by our parents, and we will not be able to assert our rights. I suggest that you start with small things around you and gradually make changes while constantly encouraging yourself. I believe you will gradually change, so keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12439
       },
       {
        "question": "Highly educated mother loves to eat leftovers, causing conflicts between mother and daughter, what should be done?",
        "description": "I come from a single-parent family and live with my mom and our dog. I am 26 years old, and my mom is 52 and works as a teacher. Our financial condition is good, but my mom always hesitates to throw away leftover food, which leads to frequent arguments between us. My mom prefers to cook a large pot of food at once for convenience since there are only two of us in the family. We can't finish the leftovers, and the remaining dishes have to be eaten for several days. She is very stubborn, and when I tell her that there are fewer people in the house and she should cook less food, as eating overnight dishes can affect our health, she doesn't listen. Because I don't want to eat leftover food, but if I don't eat, she will get angry and scold me, saying, \"You're not rich, having food to eat is already good enough.\" Then she says, \"Eating leftover food won't make you sick. Even elderly people who live a long life also eat leftover food. Haven't they survived until such an old age? Life and death are fated, and prosperity is determined by heaven. How long one can live is already predetermined!\" They all ate leftover food during their time; where else would they find fresh vegetables to eat?\" (I can't argue against these words, but I always feel something is off). If I insist on not eating, she ends up feeding the leftovers to my dog, which makes me very angry because I consider my dog as my baby. If my dog gets sick from eating it, I would be heartbroken, but my mom says that stray dogs eat from garbage cans and yet still live well. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between parents.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can help you. Issue: Your mother likes to cook excessive amounts and eat leftovers. This causes frequent arguments between you two. Analysis: One, your mother is a teacher, and you said she cooks a large amount of food for convenience. Is it because she is busy with work and tired, so she wants to make cooking easier and solve several meals at once? Or maybe your mother does not enjoy cooking herself, like my mother, who doesn't like cooking because she was forced to start cooking at a very young age due to family reasons, so she has a sense of aversion and fear towards it. Methods: 1. Communicate with your mother to understand if she is too busy with work and doesn't have extra energy to cook, but still tries her best to cook for you. Understand if there were any unpleasant experiences in her childhood that make her dislike cooking. 2. Since you are already 26 years old, if possible, you can take the initiative to cook, control the portion size yourself, and avoid the situation of eating leftovers. 3. Try to understand and respect her, don't always argue and force her to accept your viewpoint, as it will only escalate the conflict between you two. If you don't want to eat leftovers, and your mother scolds you for not being wealthy, give the leftovers to your pet dog, as even stray dogs can live well by eating from the trash. Although your mother is highly educated, the living standards were generally low in the 70s or so, so the food they ate was definitely not good. This is why your mother also dislikes wasting food, it's related to her experiences. Like myself, even though I'm just in my twenties, I really dislike wasting food because I grew up in the countryside and did a lot of farm work, so I know that food is not easy to come by. It's all related to the upbringing environment. It's unlikely that you can suddenly change your mother's mindset, it can only happen through your long-term persistence. Methods: 1. Respect your mother's viewpoint, after all, you both grew up in different eras. You can refuse your mother's behavior, but you should respect her true thoughts. At this age, both of you already have mature views, and it's difficult to have any major changes, so mutual respect is necessary. 2. Frequently communicate that the dog is an important companion and family member to you, so your mother can understand your emotions. It's all about communication and deep connection, conveying your true thoughts instead of always focusing on surface-level problems, as arguing won't solve anything. 3. Let your mother know that you care about her and worry about her health, conveying your love. At 52 years old, your mother should be at the age where regular check-ups are needed. When you take your mother to the hospital, have the doctor explain the negative impacts of eating leftovers. Although she may act tough, she definitely still loves you and hopes to spend more time with you. Hearing this from a more authoritative doctor may have a better effect. You must adjust your own mindset, as this matter requires subtle influence on your mother, making her first respect your viewpoint and then slowly accept the idea of avoiding eating leftovers. You need to have more patience, more communication, and less arguing. Discover the hidden secrets behind this issue.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the original poster ~ I can feel your distress because we are both children who are troubled by lifestyle differences. To summarize your problem, it mainly involves the following points: your mother likes to cook a large pot of food at once, resulting in you both constantly eating leftovers; you believe that leftovers are not conducive to good health, but your mother always has reasons that seem reasonable but actually don't make much sense; you don't want to eat them, and your mother gets angry and gives the leftovers to the dog, which makes you worry for the dog. Regarding the differences in lifestyle between you and your parents, my suggestion is to seek common ground while respecting each other's ways of life, and then find ways that can make everyone comfortable without affecting harmony. [First, respect your mother's habits.] Does eating leftovers affect health? In a general sense, it definitely does. However, there are individual differences, and some people can eat leftovers all their life and still live long, just like what your mother said. You are trying to persuade your mother based on a general sense, while your mother believes in an exception, and you cannot prove that your mother does not belong to this exception. On this point, I feel that you can't reach a consensus between you, and even if you continue to dwell on this point, the relationship will become strained and everyone will be unhappy. Therefore, it might be better to respect your mother's thoughts. If you are worried about her health, you can regularly take her for check-ups and pay more attention to her physical condition. [Then, let's try some solutions that can make everyone comfortable without affecting harmony.] For example, can you be the one to cook? Your mother likes to cook a lot at once, and sometimes she may find it troublesome to cook new dishes and feels tired after a day of work. Can you try cooking by yourself? If you don't have time to cook every day, you can also share the cooking responsibilities with your mother. This way, you can avoid constantly eating leftovers and also improve the relationship between mother and daughter. Another example, can you discuss with your mother about adopting a meal-preparation method? In fact, cooking simple dishes doesn't take up much time, it's just time-consuming when handling the ingredients. We can discuss with our mother and see if it's possible to plan the meals for the week on Sunday, wash and cook the ingredients, and vacuum-pack them to be stored, so that they can be directly cooked when needed. At the same time, in order to lighten your mother's workload, we can be more diligent in things like washing dishes and cleaning the kitchen. Is it possible to keep a distance of a bowl of soup from your mother? Sometimes distance really enhances beauty. If it's really impossible to accept each other's ways of life, we can also try moving out. However, since you and your mother rely on each other, it wouldn't be good to move too far. We can maintain a distance of a bowl of soup, so that you can go home every now and then, have a meal of your mother's cooking, and also conveniently take care of your mother. You asked this question because you care about your mother's health, and in my opinion, if I had to choose between health and happiness, I would definitely choose happiness. After all, your mother has been living for over fifty years and is accustomed to this way of life, so I still suggest that you respect your mother's lifestyle and seek common ground while accommodating differences.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, Luolu. After reading your description, Lalan understands and wants to give you a hug first. Based on your description, Lalan has come up with several points: (1) Although your family conditions are good, your mother has inherited the habit of frugality and doesn't want to waste leftover food. (2) Your mother also cooks a large pot of food for convenience, and it's difficult to estimate the amount needed for two people, resulting in leftovers. (3) Nowadays, leftover food is not as safe as before, and it can be harmful to the body. However, your mother believes she is an exception to good health, and you often argue about this. Lalan has some suggestions and hopes they can help you: First, it is challenging to change habits developed over decades, but you can gradually explain the harm of leftover food to your mother. Nowadays, compared to before, the pollution in food is severe, so the harm of leftovers cannot be ignored. However, please remember not to have conflicts with your mother if the conversation isn't successful. Your intention is to care for her health, right? If you not only fail to solve the issue of leftover food but also make her upset, it will be counterproductive and go against your original intention. Second, your mother cooks a large pot of food because it is troublesome and difficult to estimate the portion for two people. So instead of getting angry for the sake of your mother's health, it would be better for you to cook yourself and control the portion or buy only the amount needed for one meal. If your mother enjoys cooking, you can do it together, ensuring the portion and making your time together more enjoyable. Third, you can try to change your mother's habit indirectly through interactive games. For example, play a game where the loser has to discard the leftover food. Over time, she may change because of the concern about waste. Finally, Lalan wants to say, please approach your mother about this matter with understanding and an attitude of reasoning. Don't let it result in conflicts. Lalan hopes you can resolve this issue soon. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: Eating leftovers is a habit that has been passed down from the older generation, who grew up in difficult conditions and learned to save and be frugal. Even though living conditions have improved now, they still maintain a thrifty lifestyle. First, I think it's important to understand why my mother likes to eat leftovers, and then try to persuade her not to eat leftovers through communication. You can search the internet for the dangers of eating leftovers and show them to your mother. If possible, you can take your mother to see a doctor for advice, as I think the doctor's opinion will be effective.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Your mom is quite cute. She's willful and stubborn like a child. There are many cooking videos online. You're already 26 years old, so you can take over the cooking and make meals for her - only make enough for the two of you, so she won't have to feed the dog leftovers for days. Since you're not cooking the food, it's normal that you don't have a say in it. There's a joke: Why are picky eaters always children, while parents are not picky? Because they buy and cook the food they love, so of course they can have it their way.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Can you forward some articles about the hazards of eating leftover food to your mom, so that she doesn't think she's just talking nonsense? Use other authoritative means and methods to help her understand. I think it should be fine for dogs to eat leftovers because their stomachs are strong, and besides, if the food is bad, the dogs probably won't eat it. I hope this can resolve your conflicts. Best wishes to you both!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12572
       },
       {
        "question": "There is no way to control one's feelings and stop liking someone. However, if that person already has a girlfriend, what should you do?",
        "description": "I am a freshman in college. I was attracted to a male classmate and we joined the same club, gradually getting to know each other. I started developing feelings for him. I wanted to chat with him more often to cultivate our relationship, but one day he suddenly posted a birthday wish for his girlfriend on his social media, which made me very sad. However, I realized that as long as he is always around me, I can't help but like him. I feel very troubled. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, affection.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Based on your description, I understand the conflict in your heart right now! It's like a song that sings, feeling like you have \"loved someone you shouldn't love.\" You feel that it's morally wrong to further develop feelings for a guy who has a girlfriend, but you can't control your liking for him deep down, so it's a contradictory struggle for you! First of all, if the guy doesn't have a girlfriend, would you be together? You interact in a club, do you think you can get closer to him? Is your liking for him just admiration, or does he show signs of caring for you? If not, it's just unrequited love; secondly, you feel sad when you see him post on social media. Is it worth expressing your feelings and pursuing love at this moment? Everything you're feeling right now is one-sided, so why bother getting so upset? Being able to be in the same club is already a kind of friendship fate, so why not cherish it! If you really express your love and he doesn't agree, it will be very embarrassing for you, and I believe you won't feel good about it. If he agrees to your admiration and breaks up with his current girlfriend, would you dare to be with this kind of guy? If he can be disloyal to his current girlfriend, he will also be disloyal to you in the future! I suggest keeping your love to yourself! Being able to interact together and help each other in the club is already a form of growth; finally, don't let yourself fall, believe in your own excellence, and you will definitely meet someone who is compatible with you. Liking someone means that some traits of that person have attracted you! But it doesn't mean that he is necessarily suitable for you! If you want your love to bloom and bear fruit, you need to first become excellent and attractive, so that guys will come closer to you, and at the same time, you will have enough charm to not be afraid of other girls stealing your boyfriend, what do you think? In short, society always imposes many moral and ethical constraints on women, and although sometimes we may be reluctant, we still need to consider and abide by them, otherwise, our character will always be questioned. I hope this sharing is helpful to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3180
       },
       {
        "question": "31-year-old woman, finds it difficult to feel happy and a sense of accomplishment on her own, has a hard time pleasing herself.",
        "description": "In the past year, I have found it difficult to feel happy. My work results are good, but I don't feel a sense of accomplishment. Instead, any imperfection in my work makes me feel like a failure. I wonder why I am so harsh on myself. It's too hard to please myself.",
        "keywords": "Personal growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP~ From what I've heard, are you a perfectionist? Undoubtedly, perfectionists are very serious, responsible, and excellent, but they are also in pain. Because they are always longing for perfection \u2013 striving for perfection and discovering imperfections \u2013 it's a cycle that suppresses oneself. Based on this, I have a few suggestions: 1. Change your mindset and accept your imperfections. We must recognize that no one can be perfect. Everyone has some flaws, to a greater or lesser extent. Just like the duality of philosophy, you cannot only demand one side and ignore the other. Such thoughts and ideas are biased. 2. Explore the inner child and find the inherent value of yourself. Everyone's existence has its own value, which is not purely determined by external excellence. Confident individuals will persist in their inherent self-worth even when life mercilessly crushes them. The failure to do something well is influenced by various factors, not just because one is not excellent enough. Therefore, don't magnify internal factors and overlook the influence of external factors. 3. Pleasing oneself is actually quite simple, it is self-acceptance. So every day, you can try to give yourself more positive encouragement and support, telling yourself to do your best. Be happy when you succeed and not be saddened by failure. Acknowledge your successes and be generous in accepting failure. Accept any behavior of yours that does not violate morality, and be free and happy. These are my analysis and suggestions, I hope they can be helpful to you! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15767
       },
       {
        "question": "19 years old, I almost forgot what I used to look like. Am I the mirror you talk about?",
        "description": "At the age of 19, I don't understand what you mean by \"maturity\" in your words. It seems different from my understanding. You want me to be obedient, so I'll be obedient. You want me to be sensible, so I'll be sensible. It's like I've almost forgotten what I originally looked like. My self-awareness is shallow, I don't know what I'm really like. I always want to understand myself through others' words, or in other words, I care about how others see me. Actually, I don't like it. I like cool people, but I'm not that cool. I like a carefree life, but I feel restricted in every aspect of life. I hope I can have my own style and find my own place. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I have many people around me who have also experienced this kind of dilemma. I believe that this is a process of growth: starting to seriously think about what kind of person we are and what kind of person we want to become. Firstly, as teenagers in today's society, as we grow older, we will pay more and more attention to our image and how others perceive us. We will hope to be outstanding in the eyes of others and deliberately decorate ourselves. This is a normal thing and doesn't need to be overly worried about. Secondly, our minds are slowly maturing and we have our own goals and images of who we want to become. But we still lack experience and abilities in handling things, which can lead to conflicts between \"who we want to become\" and \"who we are seen as\". This can make us feel conflicted. In response to this, I have the following suggestions that you can consider! You can think about the similarities and differences between the person you \"want to become\" and the person you are \"seen as\". For the similarities, you can continue moving towards your goal. For the differences, develop both aspects without losing yourself, but this also tests your ability to deal with and handle things. Seek advice and help from friends, so that you can discuss specific situations and have a clearer understanding of the conflicts between \"who you want to become\" and \"who you are seen as\". As the saying goes, \"those involved are in a maze, while outsiders can see things clearly.\" At the same time, by expressing your worries, your inner self will feel much better. Regardless, I believe it is important to stay true to your original intentions and strive towards becoming a better version of yourself. Also, it's important to prioritize your own happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Think about what kind of season 19 years old is, it could be happy, sad, or bursting with ambition. Everyone has a different world. Perhaps at this blossoming age, sadness occupies the minds of most people. It is a common denominator to feel lost during a stage of breaking away from the constraints of parents and moving towards self-independence. For us, the majority of Chinese parents see their children as their \"personal belongings\". They always hope that their children will live the life they want in their own way, under the guise of \"it's for your own good\". What they don't know is that we need to be ourselves and realize our own value according to our own path, instead of being their \"shadow\". If you know what you want, strive in that direction, because that is the meaning of your existence. Don't be restricted by the outside world and give up on soaring. 19 years old is just the beginning of life, even if temporarily lost, we must gather strength and strive to soar. Take the time to cultivate yourself, such as reading, traveling, and running, as these are ways to seek the meaning of one's existence. Keep going, as long as you strive forward, you will have a brilliant life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading the description, one can feel the perplexity and helplessness in the questioner's heart towards the world. Hugs to the questioner. From the description, we can roughly see the following questions that the questioner has: What exactly is maturity? The questioner's understanding of maturity is different from what \"you guys\" understand as maturity. Always knowing about oneself from others' words, not liking this state. Hoping to have one's own style and find one's own position. Analyzing the reasons behind these questions, the term \"maturity\" is a man-made term. On Baidu Encyclopedia, there are three explanations: 1) The development of a plant's fruit or fruit to the degree of harvestability. 2) A metaphor for things developing to a perfect degree. 3) Referring to the change of a person's thoughts and ideas, which often occurs in conjunction with changes in the surrounding environment, including the influence of others. Here, we are using the third meaning of \"maturity\". There is a key point in the explanation: the change of thoughts and ideas. This is the interpretation given to us in writing. I think that whether it's the \"maturity\" in the questioner's words or the \"maturity\" in others' words, it is not a fixed and unchanging standard. It will change with time. In other words, when someone says to you, \"whether you are mature or not\", it is what they are considering from their perspective, and it cannot affect our individual maturity. Therefore, our maturity is determined by considering whether there has been a change in our thoughts and ideas, standing in our own position, compared to the past. The questioner also said, \"If you guys want me to be obedient, then I will be obedient. If you want me to be sensible, then I will be sensible, as if I have almost forgotten what I originally looked like.\" In today's social environment, it can be said that most of us may be living in the world that others perceive, rarely considering what we originally looked like. It should be a natural thing to have a curious heart to understand this world, to understand ourselves. Life is like a practice, a process of constantly getting to know ourselves. In the process of getting to know ourselves, we can constantly understand ourselves. In the end, we need to find and become our true selves! Now that we know the reasons, what should we do? 1) Accept people's expectations of you, but you don't have to follow them completely. Do things that you think can improve yourself. Every day, keep striving so that you can have the ability to live the way you want. (Before having the ability, our choices are often limited) 2) If you encounter setbacks in the process of practice, accept your imperfections. 3) Do things that you enjoy doing (legitimate things), constantly explore, and discover your truest self. Finally, I hope the questioner can find and become their true selves! I am \"Living Meaningfully,\" a young person who engages in conversations from the heart. Can you give me a thumbs up to help me out? Let's progress together!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, at 19 years old, it is normal to start exploring who you are and feeling confused. Most people go through a period of confusion where they don't know who they are, and then gradually become aware of their true self and develop into unique, free, authentic, and mature individuals. First of all, it is important to allow yourself to be confused and not know what maturity means, because not knowing is normal. At the same time, continue to learn, explore, discuss with others, and ask for their opinions on what kind of person you are. Explore your strengths, weaknesses, and what makes you special. When you know who you are, your characteristics, similarities, and differences with others, your personality will gradually become whole, and your inner self will become stronger. You will become more confident, cheerful, and able to face anything that comes your way without doubting yourself because you know who you are and have a stable sense of self. So what should you do? My advice is to allow yourself to be confused and immature for now, but also believe that you will mature in the future. In the meantime, learn various knowledge, interpersonal skills, and psychological knowledge about your own personality. Actively improve your social skills, learn new skills, and try different things to gain experience. In this process, you will discover what you like, what suits you, and what kind of person you are. You will also become more mature and complete internally. Remember, you can continue to move forward even with feelings of confusion. Moving forward is the only direction.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! From your description, it can be seen that you care a lot about other people's opinions and become what they want you to be, losing yourself. I think, firstly, you need to take external evaluations into proper perspective and have self-awareness. After all, other people's opinions are just one way for us to know ourselves. The main way for us to know ourselves is through self-awareness. We shouldn't let others' evaluations determine who we are. Otherwise, we would lose ourselves and go with the flow. Don't be influenced by the outside world, go out and find your own style. Don't be held back, listen to your own inner thoughts, and find yourself. The above are just my personal views, and I hope they can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18576
       },
       {
        "question": "Should a teacher display obvious bias in the classroom?",
        "description": "In today's class, I felt that the teacher had a clear bias towards a certain thing (let's call it \"a\"). I felt that the teacher was subtly implying a change in our perception of a. He intentionally described the role of a as a random event, and it seemed like he was forcing his own opinion onto the students. Is this kind of behavior acceptable? It is similar to when a teacher used to support Hong Kong independence. If they openly influenced students in the classroom, how many students would subconsciously follow the teacher? I believe that in the classroom, teachers should not impart their biased views to students, and at the very least, should remain neutral in their speech.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, because you did not specifically mention what the teacher was commenting on, it is not appropriate to make presumptions and judge whether the teacher's words were right or wrong. However, one point you mentioned is particularly important, that is, \"feeling that he is imposing his own opinions on students.\" If the teacher's views align with social morality, laws, and general norms, then it's alright, just need to be more mindful of the methods in the future. If not, it can be potentially harmful for students and for education as a whole. From your description, I can see that you are a person who thinks critically and does not blindly follow, and that is commendable. Take care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22038
       },
       {
        "question": "Boy, others say I'm too gentle, and I don't feel confident at all now.",
        "description": "Feeling like people say I'm too gentle, I'm a boy. It's really upsetting to be constantly told that, and now I feel scared to talk to others. I feel like I want to live as someone else, like a celebrity I admire. But it seems like I can't achieve that and it makes me really sad. I feel like I have no confidence at all. I'm afraid to talk to others, worried that they'll call me effeminate or something. I feel like such a loser.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I am not a professional expert, but I really wanted to reply to this question. First of all, I want to give you a hug. It is indeed very painful to not accept yourself. But from your description, I see that you care a lot about what others say. Other people's opinions can be like mirrors, providing guidance, but these mirrors themselves have subjective thoughts. And when you try to find yourself in the eyes of others, you will never truly find yourself. It's like there are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes. Different people see you differently. Why bother so much? As humans, we are born as unique individuals and don't need to mold ourselves into a specific template. There is no standard template for personality. We can appreciate good qualities in others and strive to emulate them, but that doesn't mean we have to completely erase ourselves. A person's personality is shaped by genes, environment, and experiences. You are who you are, a unique individual, and we should always strive to be ourselves. I noticed in the question you're concerned about being \"gentle.\" I think you have a stereotypical impression of men. Why can't men be gentle? Gentleness is not the same as weakness, nor is it synonymous with indecisiveness. It is not a derogatory term. I don't know what is troubling you, but courage and gentleness can coexist. Gentleness will not hinder you from becoming a real man. Before the 2014 FIFA World Cup in Brazil, CCTV reporter Liu Xiaoxuan risked his life to interview drug dealers in the favelas of Brazil and collected videos showing the drug trafficking process. I suggest you watch it. From the video, you can see that the reporter is also a gentle person, and it does not hinder my admiration for him. It is evident that you care a lot about what others think. However, in reality, the vast majority of people in our lives are just passing through. It is up to you to decide what kind of person you want to become. You are important to yourself, and your own perception of yourself will affect your emotions, mindset, and even your health. A truly strong person is not someone who appears dominant and dictates others, but someone who understands what they want and relentlessly pursues it. I hope you, the questioner, can accept yourself or become the person you truly want to be as soon as possible. Best wishes! ^_^",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12258
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I always regret and forget to say thank you every time I communicate with others?",
        "description": "Every time I ask someone to do something for me, I always fail to express myself clearly. After I say it, I always regret why I didn't say thank you again.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hmm, it seems like you have forgetfulness. However, if they don't really care about your personality, it doesn't matter. You can consider buying some small gifts for them to show your appreciation. Occasionally treating them to a meal is also an option, but you don't have to do it every month. Whoever has helped you the most, you can simply invite them to have a meal as a gesture of thanks. Thank you for your care, and I hope everyone can understand.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1002
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do you repeatedly avoid something? The result is still the same when the matter is reopened.",
        "description": "At the beginning of 2019, I added someone on a software who seemed familiar, but he absolutely refused to admit that he was the person I liked. Actually, I never add strangers on WeChat, even if I do, I wouldn't develop any emotional attachment because I find it difficult to trust and feel secure around people in general, let alone making friends on WeChat. I only mistook him because of his hints. He stubbornly denied it, saying he was looking for another girl and was just casually chatting with me. Even when I told him I wasn't the person he was looking for, he still insisted on saying good morning and goodnight to me every day. Being someone with a naturally suspicious mind, I argued with him several times, scolded him, but also feared that he might actually be the person I liked and it would hurt him. However, it really annoyed me when a stranger would say good morning and goodnight to me. During this time, I deleted him several times, but he always added me back and hinted that he was the person I liked. It's not realistic as we can't even meet in real life. This back and forth has been going on. I scolded him many times and my emotions were torn between believing and not believing him. If it's him, then I enter his script with a sense of mistrust and doubt, and it feels like betraying my loyalty to him. Even if he is just playing around, he never asks if I'm feeling sad or not.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion, chaos.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Every time I add him back now, he either pretends to be his brother or pretends to like another girl. There is always hatred. Every time I can scare him away and delete him, I'm afraid of being abandoned, ashamed and seemingly chatting with his brother. I need to start over, and he is around my Weibo, painful, no one can understand him. Yes, I can't help but want to search for news about him.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 113,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "So back and forth, we wasted two years. Every time I deleted him, he would tell me through Weibo that he found another girl. If I admit that I guessed it was him, he would feel ashamed that he didn't leave a good impression at first, so he kept fabricating that I added his good friend on WeChat. This is also an insult to me, as I ended up being intimate and affectionate with other guys. Do you know how complicated this emotion is? But during this time, I discovered that I have a lot of unresolved issues from my dysfunctional family, such as being distant from people, not making friends, and not having long-lasting relationships with anyone. These issues manifested themselves after I started liking him. Being single for ten years in society, I've never felt strange about myself. He also has his own small problems, but they are not as severe as mine, but I made them worse. I don't blame him for not understanding me. The problem now is that I want to continue with him. He hinted that it was him on WeChat, but every time we communicate on WeChat, he ignores the content and just jokes around as if nothing happened. I feel like he or his friends are playing tricks on me. So I deleted him. From the wording on Weibo, he likes me, but I don't know how to continue. He posted an animated short film, where a whale in the sea encountered a bird trapped in a cage. At first, they played happily together, but then a big wave was about to engulf the birdcage. The whale tried to push the birdcage out to sea, but the birdcage sank to the bottom of the ocean. The bird died, and that bird is me, and I know it. We can't communicate. Every time I add him back on WeChat, I end up deleting him again, multiple times. I always feel that if I add him on WeChat, someone will harm me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7290
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't know why I need to go for a run. What's happening to me lately?",
        "description": "Sometimes I don't feel like running, and I don't know why I should run. But then I persuade myself to run by reminding myself of the many benefits it brings. Now I run three times a week. I don't know what's been happening with me lately.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugging the host is really impressive for being able to persist in running, and still being able to do it three times a week. I wonder what initially motivated the host to start wanting to persist in running? Now, when you say you don't know why, is it because the initial goals and motivations have changed? Running is indeed a sport with many benefits, and even without a specific reason, the process itself can relax the mind. During exercise, endorphins and dopamine are released, which can create a feeling of pleasure. Recently, I also want to start exercising regularly. Perhaps the host can teach me the secret to being able to persist in running three times a week.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, runner, it's great that you enjoy running because it not only helps us exercise but also allows us to release stress. Overall, it's a good thing. When running, you can find your true self. It's during running that you can reach a completely relaxed state, which is why you've been enjoying running lately. However, I think it's important to schedule a suitable time for running. For example, you can go for a morning run or run half an hour after dinner. These are all acceptable. It should be arranged at a reasonable time. Everything should be done in moderation. It's not good if running too frequently interferes with your normal life. Also, if you have too much stress, you can choose other ways to relieve it, such as going for a walk outside or listening to music and playing sports. These are all excellent ways to release stress. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5474
       },
       {
        "question": "Is turning on the lights to sleep because of a fear of darkness? I want to change this habit.",
        "description": "Sleeping with the lights on, I know it's not good for my health, but whenever I turn off the lights, I feel like there are many, many monsters around me trying to eat me. Sometimes the night light runs out of battery and automatically turns off in the middle of the night, and then I can wake up instantly, no matter how deep I am asleep.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Poster, hello. The method to gradually overcome fear and return to normal is to be willing to confront fear and gradually drive it away. You can seriously consider the reasons why you are afraid of the dark. When did you start going to sleep? Have you always been someone who sleeps alone, or were you often alone at home as a child? Did anything scary happen to you while you were asleep? Have you heard stories about monsters appearing and eating children after the lights go out? There is always a cause for things happening. Find this cause and overcome it accordingly. Think of some specific methods to help yourself slowly return to normal. You can start by buying a small lamp with adjustable brightness and gradually adjust it from bright to dark, allowing yourself to adapt to very dim or even no light. If you feel scared, you can listen to music to help you fall asleep, or do some exercises before bed to help you fall asleep faster. Alternatively, you can sleep with the lights on but wear an eye mask, so that you know in your heart that the outside world is bright and monsters do not appear. This also protects your eyes. When you feel scared, you can briefly remove the eye mask and then put it back on. Another option is to have a family member accompany you to sleep for a while after the lights are turned off, comforting you and driving away the monsters. Gradually, they can quietly leave after you fall asleep, so that you can slowly become brave enough to sleep on your own. Lastly, monsters don't eat you while you're sleeping because even monsters need to sleep. Moreover, they have already become vegetarians and don't come out at night. So sleep peacefully. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 22110
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling uneasy and bothered due to a single comment from a friend?",
        "description": "I am a girl, and recently I had some unused items at home, so I planned to give them to a friend. Later, my friend said, \"Are you planning to give me everything in your house?\" This sentence made me feel really uncomfortable. This friend is someone I usually get along well with, but I didn't expect them to say something like this. It doesn't sit well with me psychologically.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friendships.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You said that you care about a friend's comment and feel uncomfortable. I wonder what kind of \"uncomfortable\" feeling it is? You said that when you heard your friend say, \"Are you ready to give me everything in your house,\" you felt particularly uncomfortable. I wonder what kind of discomfort it is? From this sentence, what kind of information did you hear, what kind of feelings did it evoke, what does it mean to you, and why does it make you feel so uncomfortable? I don't know what expression and tone of voice your friend used when saying this sentence, different expressions and tones of voice can convey completely different meanings. For example, A: a light tone, and laughing as they say this sentence, it might be a joke, like \"You've given me so many things!\" B: a tone of contempt and a disdainful expression, which might mean: \"You're giving me things from your home, and I'm not happy about it.\" C: a hesitant tone, with a questioning expression, which might be confirming, \"Will you give me more things?\" Of course, I don't know what your friend meant when saying this sentence, perhaps only she knows what she meant. But regardless of what your friend meant, this sentence makes you feel uncomfortable, and it is possible that you \"perceive\" something that makes you uncomfortable from it. For example, A: your friend is joking and teasing you, and you feel \"being teased\" is a very uncomfortable experience, or you feel that such things shouldn't be joked about at all. B: it's also possible that you detect scorn from this sentence and feel hurt that you are being given things and still being looked down upon, which makes you feel uncomfortable. C: maybe when you hear this sentence, you feel like \"what else does my friend want from me?\", and you think your friend is too greedy, so it makes you feel uncomfortable to think, \"I've already given you so many things, and you still want more.\" D: maybe it's something I can't guess, that allows you to understand some meanings and have some \"uncomfortable\" feelings. But based on the information in the prompt, it's impossible to determine which possibility it is. Perhaps all the guesses are not consistent with your feelings. But you can try to organize the attitudes, meanings, and feelings you understand from this sentence, and maybe you can figure out how it makes you uncomfortable. You said this friend is usually easy-going, but you didn't expect her to say such things. It feels like this kind of sentence is a very negative and uncomfortable presence in your heart. When this sentence is spoken by a friend who is \"usually easy-going,\" it not only makes you uncomfortable but also surprised, unexpected. So, in the past, have there been people who had bad relationships with you, or people who you didn't get along with, or people with a bad attitude, who said similar things to you? Perhaps in the past, when you heard those people say this sentence, you always felt very uncomfortable. In the end, every time you hear this sentence, no matter who says it, in what tone, and to express what, you automatically think of those terrible experiences and feel \"uncomfortable.\" However, the friend who said this is \"usually easy-going,\" which is likely different from the people you have had the previous experience with who \"say this sentence,\" so what the friend expresses is not necessarily the same as what others have expressed in the past. If you are willing, maybe you can discuss it with your friend, what does she mean by saying this sentence? Then you can reevaluate your feelings about this sentence based on your friend's meaning.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. You mentioned that you felt uncomfortable hearing this phrase. I'm not sure what specifically made you feel uneasy, so I'll give you two interpretations of the phrase: \"Are you ready to give me everything in your house?\" The first interpretation is that it's a joke, asking if you're willing to give everything in your house to the person. The second interpretation is that the person is telling you to give them everything in your house. However, I think the first interpretation is more likely. If someone were to speak to me in this way, as an ordinary person, I would feel that they are impolite and disrespectful. But if this person is your close friend and you have a good relationship, I think it's quite reasonable for them to say this to you. They expressed it in a relatively tactful manner, but you may still find it uncomfortable because it sounds quite direct. So why does this statement make you feel uncomfortable? I think it's because they struck a nerve deep within you, making you feel somewhat ashamed and uneasy. This is what they call \"unpleasant truth.\" However, in reality, they didn't have any malicious intentions. It was just a joke, so there's no need to take it to heart too much, especially since you are so familiar with each other. It's common for a girl to clear out unused items at home, and it's nice to give them to friends. On one hand, it avoids waste and not throwing things away, and on the other hand, it's a gesture of goodwill. However, because these items are not new but second-hand, it is important to consider the other person's feelings when giving them away. It's better to ask if the friend needs them first before giving them. Otherwise, the person may feel a bit inferior, as they say, \"don't bite the hand that feeds you.\" So, the recipient might feel a bit embarrassed. This feeling of embarrassment can easily lead to other thoughts and might hurt one's self-esteem. If the person already feels a bit insecure, they might start thinking in the opposite direction and wonder if the person giving them the items looks down on them. Moreover, most people are generally well-off and not desperate for money or those items, so they would pay more attention to their pride. Of course, it's true that those in financial difficulties would have stronger self-esteem. So, when giving away unused items, it's better to be a bit more considerate.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8621
       },
       {
        "question": "When it comes to hiding one's personality, what should one do when being looked down upon by others?",
        "description": "What should I do when I am looked down upon by my own relatives? I am particularly sensitive and always hide my true personality. I pretend to get along well with people I don't like and I always help others when they ask, but I regret it afterwards. I think too much about these things in my daily life. What kind of personality is considered normal and how can I gain others' approval? Should I be more slick or should I stay true to myself? Can I just discard people and things that I don't like?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010The most important thing is to value yourself\u3011\u3010First\u3011, understanding that feeling down and looking down on oneself already carries a sense of disdain and disrespect. I understand your feelings and it must be very difficult. \u3010Second\u3011, instead of relying on others, it's better to learn to appreciate yourself first. If you have already communicated with the external world and know that it has its limitations, meaning that the other party does not know how to respect you, then you must learn to respect yourself. 1. Learn to appreciate your own strengths. When you truly like yourself, others will like you too. Learn to appreciate your own strengths and learn to love yourself. 2. Learn to accept yourself unconditionally. Accept your shortcomings and allow yourself to be imperfect and not outstanding. In fact, it is perfectly fine to be imperfect and not outstanding. This is also safe. 3. Learn to encourage yourself. Some things may only be lacking motivation or a better method that suits you. With improvements, you will be able to do it and achieve success. 4. Learn to feel proud of yourself. We can be looked down upon or hurt because of shame. Shame and pride are opposite to each other. On one hand, you need to let go of shame, and on the other hand, you need to learn to feel proud of yourself. When you feel proud of yourself, it doesn't matter if others look down on you or not. You feel hurt because you desire affirmation or pride from others. Next time when you feel hurt, remember your existence. The external world may not always meet your needs, therefore, in that moment, you need to learn to love yourself and fulfill your own needs. Wishing you well, Namaste!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "A long time ago, my parents taught me to be kind to others so that they wouldn't bully me. I followed this method and helped my graduate school classmate farm for three years. However, in the end, she scammed me out of 1000 RMB. For someone who only had a monthly allowance of 300 RMB, this was a large sum of money. Moreover, the feeling of being betrayed was extremely angry and sad. Later on, I slowly realized that if you don't refuse anyone, others will indeed like you. Who wouldn't like someone who helps them? But I wasn't happy because people won't repay you just because you are kind. When I started refusing others, I found that many friends around me started leaving one by one. However, there were still some who stayed by my side. Even after more than 20 years, my close friends will always help me no matter when or what. After struggling in society, I discovered that besides childhood friends and lifelong friends, most people are driven by self-interest. So, when you become strong, you realize that you can have so many friends. When I first graduated, I joined a large company and became a high-level executive. At class reunions, everyone was enthusiastic, and I even helped some primary school classmates solve work problems. But good times didn't last long\u2014the boss passed away, and the new job I found was unsatisfactory. During the next reunion, the atmosphere had completely changed. For shallow relationships, the maintenance of the relationship depends on your value. The higher your hidden value, the more willing others are to flatter and fawn over you. Conversely, the lower your hidden value, the more distant and contemptuous others become. However, for strong relationships, the maintenance depends on shared interests, appreciation for one another, and how you get along. Based on your situation, I think you should focus on two things: choice and personal growth. First, understand that not all relationships are the same. There are many types of relationships, some of which have high maintenance costs but low benefits. You should distance yourself from those people. There are also relationships with low maintenance costs but high benefits. Be grateful for these people, like your former teachers. Whenever I have questions about psychology, I still consult my old teachers, and they are always eager to help, simply because I was their student. Of course, not all teachers are like this, but most are. There are also relationships with high maintenance costs but high benefits. These are often business partners who cooperate with each other and support one another. Some relationships have low maintenance costs with low benefits. These are simply playmates. Therefore, for each type of relationship, you should respond differently in order to handle them properly. Second, personal growth. We are inherently attracted to resources. This desire is deeply embedded in our genes. We like beautiful people because they possess excellent physical resources. We like to be friends with the wealthy because they have vast amounts of wealth and connections. This attraction to resources makes our society lean towards the rich and disregard the poor. Therefore, if you want to live a good life, you must focus on personal growth. Human abilities gradually increase. It may be slow, but as long as you don't give up and continue to learn and strive, you will eventually become a towering tree. Often, mastering a skill can sustain yourself. For example, my second uncle was a primary school teacher his whole life. However, he became an expert in teaching methods and curriculum content. He devoted 20 years to perfecting his craft and reaped many rewards. He gained the respect of many parents and has a comfortable life with a monthly pension of seven to eight thousand. Is he exceptionally talented? Not at all. Twenty years ago, our elementary school couldn't even pay teachers, so the whole school, with more than 20 classes, had only one teacher. All the other teachers had left. My second uncle, who had only completed primary school education, was asked by the principal to be a substitute teacher. He learned step by step and became an outstanding educator. Find your ideal path and stick to it. Eventually, you will become a leader in your industry. Never give up on personal growth.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see that you have high self-expectations and inner conflicts when it comes to focusing on others' flaws, which leads to anxiety and distress. When you feel sensitive and upset because of how your relatives view you, it may be due to your high standards and perfectionism, as well as dissatisfaction and lack of self-confidence projected onto yourself. It is important to accept your imperfections, avoid setting absolute standards for yourself and others, and give yourself credit for your strengths rather than magnifying your weaknesses. In reality, 99% of people are more concerned about themselves rather than others, especially in the age of the internet where social circles have expanded infinitely. It is difficult to please everyone, and pretending to be friendly and helpful while not actually liking someone can lead to regret. The people-pleaser personality is also formed by lack of self-confidence. Be true to yourself, sincerely express your thoughts and emotions, and avoid using aggressive words and actions when rejecting or negating others as it can harm yourself more than them. Whether to adapt or be true to your own character and seek validation, it is not easy to completely isolate people you don't like because humans are social beings. Be courageous enough to accept being disliked, as you will not like everyone and not everyone will like you. This is a fact and a rule, as no one is perfect. When interacting with others, adopt a more mature and balanced mindset, avoiding the childish binary thinking of black and white extremes, and analyze things rationally and dialectically. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It must be exhausting to constantly hide your true personality in everything you do. Sending you a hug. #Being particularly sensitive, I always hide my true personality. When I encounter people I don't like, I pretend to get along with them. I'm always willing to help when someone asks, but I often regret it afterward. (Is it because we believe subconsciously that only by doing so, others will like and approve of us? So we are afraid of rejecting others and being rejected by them. This makes us feel like we are not being recognized. But can a good relationship be destroyed because of our refusal to do certain things? If we always have to compromise in order to maintain a relationship, isn't it too exhausting? #Overthinking: What kind of personality is considered the standard? How should we behave to gain the approval of others? Should we be smooth or should we have our own personality? Can we just discard people and things we don't like? (Qi\u0101n qi\u0101n really likes the saying: \"Don't be smooth, become a star with edges and corners, and still shine.\" Actually, there is no standard personality. Each personality has its own advantages and disadvantages. For example, a personality like yours, OP, must also be liked by many people. However, I don't know how you define \"recognition.\" Do we need the approval of everyone to feel recognized? Or is it only when we succeed in accomplishing something that we feel recognized? \"Being smooth\" also has its benefits. For example, it can help us build better relationships and gain more resources, thereby getting what we want. However, it also makes us uncomfortable, as we constantly feel the need to please the other person and gain their approval. So being smooth is not always a bad thing. As for people and things we don't like, if we discard them, we may feel satisfied, but we may also miss out on certain resources. If we choose to be smooth, we may feel exhausted.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. It's nice to \"meet\" you. First, I want to give you a warm hug, and I hope my answer can help you. Dear, let me start by asking you a question, or you can ask yourself this question: Do you think you are living happily? How much benefit do you think your current behavior brings to yourself? Life is short, and we only have one chance, so why make things difficult for ourselves? Why live unhappily? You need to learn to love yourself first, and then others will love you. Don't care too much about what others think or say, otherwise, how should those who are being bullied online live? Other people's opinions may not always be correct. You need to have your own sense of right and wrong, firmly holding onto your own beliefs instead of living for others. So let those people and things you dislike stay away from you! Why should personality have a standard answer? If everyone lives according to a certain type of personality, how boring would the world be? So just be yourself, be happy, and live for yourself. No need to hide your personality. If someone looks down on you, first reflect on yourself. Do you look down on yourself? Some people just enjoy criticizing you, they can't stand to see you doing well, they act as if you're nothing. Why bother paying attention to such situations? We know our own abilities, and that's enough. If you think you're not good enough, then work hard. It's for the purpose of becoming a better version of yourself, and that is living for yourself. Keep going, dear. You can live a better and more remarkable life. I believe in you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems like when it comes to personality, you have a lot of question marks. I'll divide your description into the following four points: 1. Sensitivity, not knowing how to face the disdain of your relatives. 2. Trying to please others, not being able to refuse help from others, and regretting it afterwards. 3. What kind of personality is the standard personality? 4. How can you gain others' approval? These seem like four separate questions, but they are actually closely related. The core issue may be that you rely on external approval to determine your own self-worth. Because you desire others' approval, you want to know how to gain it, you want to understand if there is a standard personality, and you have difficulty refusing others and are sensitive. In reality, there is no such thing as a \"standard personality\". People's personalities vary greatly. Our self-worth is not determined by others' evaluations, but by our own definition. You can try bravely saying \"no\" to others, starting with small things, and take the first step. I'm not sure if it's a fact that your relatives look down on you or if it's a misunderstanding caused by your sensitivity. Because I don't know what exactly happened, you can think about it yourself. It's not important if others look down on you, but you mustn't look down on yourself. That's the key. Self-acceptance from within is more important than others' approval.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17705
       },
       {
        "question": "Is psychological counseling effective? How can we evaluate the effectiveness of psychological counseling?",
        "description": "After completing the counseling session, how can we assess its effectiveness? And how can we evaluate whether the psychological counseling has been effective or not?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Before discussing how to evaluate the effectiveness of psychological counseling, let's talk about when we can go to a counselor for a chat. When life becomes unbearable and we are entangled with certain emotions and states of mind, it feels like life is a mess. We feel terrible, and the world seems gray. We feel isolated from the whole world, and no one understands us. Marriage is causing us great pain, and we long for a happy life, but continuous arguments leave us exhausted. When we face difficulties in life, long-term low mood, insomnia, etc., seeking a conversation with a counselor is one option for us. Moreover, when our bodies feel unwell and doctors cannot find any illness, we experience a general discomfort that is difficult to express. Every part of our body may feel uncomfortable, and sometimes even painful. Despite medical examinations and doctors' diagnoses indicating no issues, we still feel uncomfortable. In some cases, these discomforts may even cause us to take time off work or school. At these times, someone may suggest consulting a professional counselor to find out what is going on. In the event of a major incident, frequent flashbacks, or being unable to cope with life events, such as heartbreak, conflicts in the dormitory, family disputes, exam failures, natural disasters, etc., if we encounter sudden changes and cannot handle them ourselves, and if there is no reliable person around us, a counselor is a good choice. Psychological counseling is a way of life and the relationship within it is neither that of a teacher nor a friend, but rather a pure presence. The counselor will be there to accompany and listen. They will listen to what you find difficult to express and what you feel the world does not allow you to say. In that period of time, it will be an exclusive space for two people, or three people, or a family. Combining the mentioned situations can make it clearer whether the counseling is effective. The effectiveness is reflected in: \u00b7 being able to cope with life \u00b7 feeling at ease in our bodies \u00b7 being able to handle situations that we previously couldn't handle. Finally, when it comes to learning, there is a question to ponder: should counselors charge based on renting their time or based on the effectiveness of the counseling? In my opinion, it's the former. I am willing to use my expertise, concentrate, and accompany the person in front of me, impacting lives with my own life. May words accompany you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Whether psychological counseling is effective and the quality of its effects can be evaluated from the following aspects: subjective psychological distress: whether there is a change in psychological distress, whether it increases or decreases, or even eliminates psychological distress. If you feel increasingly distressed after a period of psychological counseling, it is important to look into the reasons. Social functioning: if you were previously unable to study or work and can now do so normally, then it definitely indicates a positive effect. Interpersonal relationships: have interpersonal relationships become more harmonious? Are you still arguing every day? Can you establish intimate relationships? Has there been an improvement in overly close or distant and conflictual family relationships? Psychological/physiological symptoms: have various discomfort or distressing symptoms improved? Improvement in insomnia, relief from anxiety and depressive emotions are all evident outcomes of counseling. Psychometric results: Psychological measurements can also be conducted before and after psychological counseling to quantify its effectiveness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5988
       },
       {
        "question": "During my first year of high school, I deceived someone on Xianyu and now I feel very guilty. What should I do about this guilt?",
        "description": "I remember when I was in the first year of high school, I was not very mature. I loved to play and blindly compare myself to others. I remember one time when my friend had a birthday and I didn't have enough money, so I posted my phone for sale on idle fish (an online marketplace). After that day, someone contacted me on idle fish. We hadn't said much, but he asked me to give him my Alipay account so he could transfer money to me. When the money arrived, I had a selfish thought. I genuinely wanted to sell the phone, but in the end, I selfishly took the money. Since that incident, I have constantly thought about it during nearly every quiz and exam in my second year of high school. And even now, as I'm about to enter my third year, I deeply regret it. This incident has made me feel guilty about everything I do. During this time, I have continuously tried to change myself and do many things to help others, but I still think about the mistake I made. I have also tried to find that buyer, but it has been a long time and I still can't find him. I feel very uneasy about it. Now that I'm about to enter my third year of high school, I don't want to be held back because of this one thing. I also feel remorseful about it. I hope everyone can help me and give me some advice. Thank you, everyone.",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, self-growth, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Everyone makes mistakes when they're young. Making mistakes is an important part of our growth process. Fortunately, you realize your mistake and are willing to make amends. I applaud your courage and kindness in admitting your mistake. First, let's define the nature of what you mentioned \"cheating someone out of 750 yuan\" behavior in terms of its nature. Only individuals who are over 14 years old but under 16 years old and commit intentional murder, intentional injury resulting in serious injury or death, rape, robbery, drug trafficking, arson, explosion, poisoning, are considered criminal and need to bear criminal responsibility. If a minor commits crimes other than those mentioned above before and after turning 16, only the criminal responsibility for the behavior after turning 16 will be pursued, and the behavior before the age of 16 will not be considered a crime. When you were a freshman in high school, you were probably only fifteen or sixteen years old, still a minor. According to the aforementioned legal provisions, the behavior you exhibited does not constitute a criminal offense, and you need to understand that. Secondly, from a moral perspective, indeed, cheating others out of their money is an unethical and deceitful behavior. I believe this is also why you feel remorse. So, I have a few suggestions for you: (1) Transactions on the e-commerce platform you mentioned are all recorded. Find the transaction record, contact the buyer from back then, return the 750 yuan to them, and apologize sincerely. This is a direct solution to the problem. (2) If the first option doesn't work, then you need to reconcile with yourself and compensate for your shortcomings by engaging in some charitable activities. However, don't blame yourself excessively. If this incident helps you grow into a kind, honest, and useful member of society, then I believe that is the true meaning behind this incident. Perhaps, the buyer from back then has already forgiven you, as they didn't report to the police or pursue legal action after realizing they were deceived. So, don't put too much psychological pressure on yourself. Be a person of kindness and integrity from now on! The above is my analysis and advice, hope it helps you! Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, you may feel conflicted and unable to let go of a mistake you made unintentionally, which goes against your conscience. This actually shows that you are an honest and kind-hearted person because despite initially benefiting from it, you have been trying to make amends. For that matter, you didn't take pleasure in obtaining that money for nothing, instead, you have been feeling guilty because you made a mistake in the moment. A mistake is a mistake, and once something happens, it happens; there is no chance to start over. I know you are torn and uncomfortable inside, but the way to alleviate this conflict may be to proactively accept the past wrongdoing and accept the person you were back then. You may not be able to fully compensate for this incident, but perhaps you can awaken yourself in the future to not commit the same mistake again. You have been helping others, and I think you are doing well. This may reduce the guilt in your heart. Besides, you can also caution yourself not to do anything that goes against your conscience due to selfish motives or entertain any dishonest thoughts. This incident might be something you can't forget, and I understand your conflict, anxiety, and uneasiness. But perhaps what you need to do is to accept it. Treat it as an unexpected event in your life, apart from making efforts in other aspects to alleviate the unease in your conscience, you can also use it as a reminder in your heart to not repeat the same mistake in the future. It used to be a hurdle that you couldn't overcome in your heart, but from now on, turn it into a warning sign in your life, guiding your path so that there will be no more moral deviations. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13937
       },
       {
        "question": "Being particularly concerned about others' evaluations, I have become even more anxious after being promoted.",
        "description": "I have always been insecure and particularly concerned about others' opinions. I strive for perfection in everything I do and can't handle any negative feedback. Recently, I was promoted because of my good performance at work, but I am even more anxious now. I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle my new responsibilities. On one hand, I feel anxious about my job and even consider quitting. On the other hand, I blame myself for being useless and wonder why I get so anxious over such small things. Why can everyone else do it, but not me? I really don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, workplace relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ I want to give you a warm hug first. First, I want to say congratulations on your promotion. This is a recognition of your abilities by your superiors. After observing so many employees, they finally chose to promote you, which proves that you have good capabilities. It is because they believe in you and believe that you can handle this job that they promoted you. Your superiors believe in you, how can you not be confident? Perhaps the promotion will bring more work pressure and greater difficulty, but maybe you can see it as a new challenge. What you need to do is to work hard to complete it, instead of feeling anxious about it. You need to overcome it, instead of being afraid of it. Believe in yourself, don't pay too much attention to other people's opinions, as their opinions don't provide substantial help to you. If you still care about other people's opinions and judgments, then you need to do this job even better and make others look at you with new eyes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15193
       },
       {
        "question": "I am homosexual and have fallen in love with a married person. I am very distressed, should I continue or not?",
        "description": "I am 23 and he is 31, married with children. We met on a dating app, which was quite a serendipitous encounter. We have known each other for almost 4 years and talked for 2 years before meeting in person and living together for over a year. However, he already has a child and a partner. After being together for six months, his partner found out about us and told her family. This year he wants to get a divorce. I don't know whether I should step back or continue. I feel like I am the third party, as he never answers my calls when his partner is around. I even attempted suicide and ended up in the hospital because of these issues. We are also in a long-distance relationship. I don't know if it's worth it to continue like this. We love each other very much, but with his 2-3 year-old child, I'm not sure if it's good for me to continue in this way. Whenever I call him, he seems annoyed. I want to ask if this relationship should still continue, and if so, how it will be.",
        "keywords": "Romance, Sexual Orientation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "There is no fundamental difference between same-sex love and opposite-sex love. In the current domestic environment, sometimes gay men marrying women and having children is a result of circumstances, objectively causing harm to the women involved, but I believe that moral judgments cannot be made simplistically. Coming out after marrying is different from a heterosexual man having an affair. Whether you are there or not, he will ultimately come out. Furthermore, he should bear and make up for the harm he has caused to the woman, rather than you being primarily responsible. I suggest putting aside moral judgments and looking at your relationship purely from a emotional perspective, whether it is appropriate or should continue. As for the issue of children, research in the United States has shown that the harm caused to children by a broken marriage is greater than the harm caused by divorce. What children need is love and attention, not the form of marriage. Sometimes adults reluctantly maintain a marriage because they feel it is shameful to divorce, but in reality, the harm to children is greater. If you both raise the child, research in the United States also shows that children raised by same-sex couples are no different from children raised in heterosexual families (contrary to concerns about influencing the child's sexual orientation, decades of empirical research show it does not happen). What matters here is still love and attention, not the form of marriage. Considering the domestic environment, it is advisable to consider living in culturally open first-tier or second-tier cities, where the societal pressure against homosexuality may be slightly lesser.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Regardless of whether you are homosexual or involved as a third party, let's first talk about self-esteem. In this relationship, it seems that you have placed yourself in a very low position. You are 23 years old, he is 31 years old, clearly you are younger and have more possibilities, but in this relationship, you have more attachment tendencies and suffer greatly, constantly debating whether to end or continue. You mentioned that you met him on a social app, and it took two years of chatting before moving in together. Perhaps you are somewhat introverted and have set up multiple barriers, not letting others easily touch your fragile heart. Throughout the two years of communication, he slowly dismantled your defenses, making you emotionally dependent on him, and you believed and approved of him, ultimately choosing him as your partner. But in my opinion, this relationship is unequal. You have given everything to him, while he holds back. He is simultaneously maintaining a family and a relationship with you, and you have had conflicts with him, but what was the outcome? I think he probably used sweet words to make you choose to trust him again, and then this matter was swept under the rug, right? He is older than you and has more life experience, he has a wife and probably has had other same-sex or different-sex partners, and he works longer hours and holds a certain social status. These are not issues in a relationship, but the question is, is he using these to manipulate your emotions and keep you in a passive and suppressed state in this relationship? In your statement, you constantly belittle yourself, saying you are a male third party, but you are deeply in love. He wants to divorce but doesn't want to because of his child. You don't know whether to continue or give up. Regardless, please consider yourself more. Maybe you have strong psychological defenses and feel that it is difficult to find a suitable same-sex partner, and there may even be some conflicts with your family (because you only mentioned his family, not yours, so I'm simply speculating). Nevertheless, please have more confidence and understand your true thoughts. In this relationship, do you experience more self-confidence, self-love, comfort, safety, and happiness, or do you feel inferior, insecure, constantly frustrated, and afraid? If it's the latter, please detach yourself from this relationship in a timely manner. The future is unknown, it may be better or worse. But please believe in yourself and strive to unfold your life in a positive direction!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the original poster a hug! It is clear that the original poster is feeling anxious and conflicted in their heart. On one hand, they have known this person for a long time and have been living together, so there are bound to be emotions involved. It's not realistic to just let go. On the other hand, this person has a family with a wife and children, which means that they cannot openly live together in the long term. Acceptance of homosexuality is still limited in our country. Although some people can understand and accept it, there is still a large portion of the population who cannot. The pressure on the original poster and their partner is immense. Same-sex marriage is not legally recognized in our country, which means that same-sex relationships lack protection and support. If there are any unstable factors in the relationship, one person can easily leave without any responsibility, just like when the original poster's partner doesn't answer their phone when they are with their wife. The original poster feels helpless in this situation and can only hurt themselves to punish and torment themselves, causing both physical and mental distress. For the original poster, what they may want is a relationship they desire, but in reality, there are age differences and differences in how they approach and perceive relationships. The original poster is a single man, while the other person has a family and children. From both a legal and ethical standpoint, there are significant conflicts and pressures between the original poster's feelings and the realities of society. Additionally, the original poster mentioned that the other person has a 3-year-old son whom they are responsible for caring for. If they were to be together, the original poster would have to take on the role of a stepmother and bear the corresponding responsibilities, which would be a great pressure for them. On the other hand, if they were to separate, the original poster would no longer have to bear such great pressure and could live a more relaxed and enjoyable life. This relationship has already caused the original poster a lot of distress and pain, so they need to think about what they truly want: a light-hearted, happy, and sweet love, or a painful and difficult relationship. They need to put themselves in the right place, clarify their goals and direction in relationships, and accept their inner conflicts. By making a choice, they may find the answer they're looking for.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After carefully reading your confession, I deeply understand your pain. I send you a breath of fresh air to calm your inner unease. Here is my analysis: 1. \"I want to ask if this relationship still needs to continue?\" It is evident that you have made many sacrifices for him, including knowing each other for four years and living together. You even attempted suicide for him. You truly love him. So, ask yourself, does this relationship bring you happiness or pain? If it brings happiness, then continue. If it brings pain, then let it go. That would be the solution. 2. \"What will happen if it continues?\" If it continues, you can already see the future. Your relationship is not recognized by the law nor accepted by society. Even if he divorces, he may start a new family. You cannot become husband and wife. You will always have to be secretive about your relationship. Similarly, you will both face pressure from each other's families. 3. Of course, you can also follow the example of Jin Xing and undergo gender reassignment. However, this comes with expensive surgery costs and a series of postoperative complications. Do you think you can afford it? These are the series of questions I have analyzed for you. The most important thing is for you to be happy. Anything that goes against the principle of happiness is wrong. If being in a same-sex relationship brings you unprecedented happiness, then hold on. I send you blessings from afar. Thank you for your question, and may the beauty of the world reach you as planned.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Since you can't think clearly at the moment, it's best to separate and calm down for a while. It doesn't mean I want you to break up, just temporarily not to contact each other, to give yourself some time to think things through, and also give the other person some time. I understand that you have a guilty conscience, but you need to understand that life is complicated and there isn't always a right or wrong. Whether or not you are willing to bear the conscience condemnation that comes with loving someone is up to you. Whether or not he is willing to give up his family for you is his decision, don't interfere with it in any way. Whether or not to continue is not solely your decision, I suggest you have an honest conversation with the other person and decide together if you should separate or continue. If the other person has a clear plan and will arrange things with his wife and children before being with you, that would be a responsible approach and a future worth entrusting to. If the other person is indecisive and unwilling to let go of either side, I suggest you let go. You're only 23, there's no need to entangle yourself with a greedy person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I feel that loving someone means wanting them to be better. If they also love you and can negotiate with their other half to peacefully separate, then everyone will be happy. If they don't love you, of course, you can choose to continue loving them. That is your right, but you also need to maintain a distance. This is your responsibility. Love has no right or wrong. I hope you keep your original intention.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Take a moment to reflect on why you like this person and what you hope to gain from them. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you, with many beautiful things to come, whereas this person already has a family and responsibilities. It's unclear what you want from this relationship, but some sense of security that others can offer can easily be lost. It is advisable to let go of these desires and aspirations. Years from now, when you look back on this experience, you will gain new insights. There are other things in life waiting for you to pursue.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I can really understand your feelings. Because when I was in college, I also liked a guy who was in a different city. He was handsome, considerate, and attracted me. He was honest and responsible, telling me everything, and I knew everything, including the fact that he had a boyfriend, so I sometimes felt like a third person. Later, I chose to be good friends and didn't expect any specific outcome. Because I liked him, I just wanted every conversation to be a beautiful memory. I can only share my experience with you: there is no right or wrong in love, and I respect the choices you are about to make. I hope I can give you some warmth.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15504
       },
       {
        "question": "Because of the accident, I have developed a mild case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and now I'm hesitating about whether or not to learn more about it.",
        "description": "Before, I was unsuccessful in helping a stranger. During the rescue process, I realized that the real situation was very different from what I learned in class. The person was seriously injured and passed away. Afterward, I have been self-funding my study of some first aid courses. After some time, I compelled myself to study again, thinking that I could better cope with similar situations. However, the content of each course is more or less the same. Now, I hesitate whether I should continue studying the related materials or not.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, anxiety, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! First of all, sending you a warm hug. Secondly, I want to tell you, \"It's not your fault.\" I can sense that you are a kind-hearted and compassionate person, so when you encountered a stranger in need before, you didn't hesitate to step forward and help. Unfortunately, despite your best efforts, the person still passed away due to severe injuries. It seems that since then, you have been feeling a lot of guilt, and you have been repeatedly forcing yourself to take first aid courses, even at your own expense. I understand that you want to be prepared in case you encounter a similar situation in the future, so that you can assist others better and try to make up for the regret of the previous incident. However, I want to say that you have already done very well within your capabilities. Although the outcome is regrettable, his passing is not your fault, and you don't have to blame yourself excessively. Even skilled doctors sometimes encounter patients that cannot be saved. So please, really, don't be too hard on yourself. It's not your fault. Once again, sending you a warm hug. Now, should you continue to learn more about this topic? In the description, you mentioned that you have already forced yourself to learn a lot of related knowledge, and the content of each course is similar. In that case, I suggest that you focus on mastering the courses you have already learned. After all, repeatedly paying for and studying courses with the same content would be a waste of money. Additionally, tasks that you force yourself to do usually don't yield the best results. Dealing with someone in need of emergency assistance is also a low probability event, so don't put too much mental pressure on yourself. What should you do if you encounter such a situation? I think the first thing to do is to call for emergency assistance. Professional matters should be left to the professionals, and the equipment in a hospital is more helpful for treating patients. After making the call, we need to remain calm. Before the ambulance arrives, apply the first aid techniques you have learned immediately to the person in need, and buy more time for the medical staff. Lastly, I admire your kindness. Kudos to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18720
       },
       {
        "question": "Do all people with \"hoarding disorder\" have a mental illness? How to communicate with them?",
        "description": "Seeing my sister always hoarding various notebooks and jars has reached almost a crazy level. I don't know how to communicate with her and ask her to tidy up a bit. There is now only space for walking and the bed in her room. Does her \"hoarding disorder\" represent a mental illness?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, behavioral abnormalities.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! The person you described with hoarding disorder has a house filled with only a bed and walking space, which can be really distressing. From a psychological perspective, people with hoarding tendencies feel unable to discard objects that may seem worthless or useless to others. Typically, individuals with this compulsive hoarding behavior have a strong possessiveness and struggle to part with even insignificant items. These objects take up living space and can disrupt or hinder normal functioning in daily life. Compulsive hoarding is often related to \"trauma psychology\" and may serve as a way of self-expression and emotional release. Some individuals frequently experience remorse and self-blame after hoarding, yet they find themselves unable to control the urge to hoard, indicating an inner conflict. Since the hoarding behavior significantly impairs normal daily functioning and generates numerous negative emotions, over time these negative emotions can severely impact both mental and physical health. It is recommended to take your sister to see a professional counselor or psychologist.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1800
       },
       {
        "question": "No one has ever truly seen the real me, they've only seen my mask?",
        "description": "I have many friends, but there are definitely no more than two people who truly know the real me. Even that person doesn't understand me completely. I feel like I'm being fake in my life, but I can't help it. I can never open up and trust others completely. There was also a period of time when I felt like I was emotionless, with an empty mind and no thoughts. I just felt like, \"Ah, whatever, it doesn't matter, it's always like this.\" Am I sick? I often doubt myself, but I don't want to tell my parents that something is wrong with my mental health. I don't think it's necessary. It doesn't matter to me, anyway, because it's always like this.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, Depressive feelings.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, young soul, this is not an illness. Most people have this kind of distress, unable to show their true selves to close ones. On one hand, they are afraid that others won't understand or accept their true selves, and on the other hand, they are protecting their inner selves from harm. The fact that you have many friends suggests that, in their eyes, you and they are compatible in some aspects. The incomplete understanding of your closest friend might make you feel a sense of emptiness. If someone knows everything about you, do you think you would feel exposed in front of them? Your \"pretense\" with friends may just be the definition you have given yourself for not expressing your true self, while friends don't see it as \"pretense.\" Having no emotions and feeling empty inside is a state of emptiness, perhaps occurring when your mind wanders while with friends. No one knows you better than yourself. Firstly, you need to understand yourself, to understand your own mental state and emotions. Then, you need to accept yourself, accepting your good and bad aspects. Finally, you need to reconcile with yourself, doing more things that interest you to fill the sense of emptiness inside. When you fully accept yourself, you will naturally share more of your true self with friends. Thank you for meeting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2116
       },
       {
        "question": "Why is self-discipline poor and self-indulgence easy when being alone?",
        "description": "It's past 10 o'clock at night, and everyone has gone to sleep. I was really tired and sleepy, and I also wanted to sleep. Suddenly, I felt that I finally had some free time without being disturbed, so I opened my phone to read a novel. I initially planned to go to bed at 11 o'clock, but I lost control and ended up staying up until 1 o'clock in the morning. I'm so confused, why is it easy to indulge myself when I'm alone?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion, smartphone dependence, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, hello, hugs to you~ After reading your description, you have noticed that you have poor self-discipline when being alone at night, and you tend to stay up out of revenge. Perhaps you feel confused about this behavior of yours, and I can relate to it too. Based on your description, you were already really tired and wanted to sleep at night, but the thought of finally having your own alone time made you indulge in reading novels, thereby sacrificing your rest time. The result of staying up out of revenge is that you will feel mentally off the next day, and your efficiency in studying or working will decrease. I noticed that you mentioned feeling a sense of freedom and being undisturbed suddenly. Although I don't know your specific situation, I think you may not have enough rest time during the day, as all of your time is occupied by work or studying. The quiet atmosphere at night may make you relax, easily leading to the idea of staying up. I suggest you learn about the mindful way of thinking, and the simplest way is to consider all the tasks of the day as your own time, regardless of whether you like doing them. It may seem simple, but often, the feeling of laziness we experience when facing work is because we don't consider the time spent on it as our own time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I originally planned to sleep at 11 o'clock, but ended up delaying it until 1 o'clock. I wanted to give myself some time and plan it, but it became an abyss that I couldn't escape from. I guess many people can relate to this as well, right? At least after reading this, I also realize that being alone requires the prefrontal lobe to make decisions about interests, while indulging in solitude allows the limbic system to provide feedback. Whether to indulge or discipline oneself ultimately depends on individual choices. Perhaps it is because I wanted to give myself time and enjoy the \"freedom and relaxation\" that I ended up using more time. How much impact the event itself has on me and whether it is necessary to change, if it is not necessary, maybe it's just better to enjoy it. It is difficult to satisfy both the prefrontal lobe and the limbic system at the same time, and the anxiety of trying to achieve both may be even more painful. Maybe you can set aside a few days specifically for indulgence, which might be better?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1405
       },
       {
        "question": "After getting into a relationship, I feel really uncomfortable when my partner interacts with other girls. Am I being too possessive?",
        "description": "Since June of this year when my boyfriend and I officially started dating, my parents have been pressuring me to get engaged because they think he is excellent. This has made me feel hesitant because he has a prosthetic leg and I want to take more time to see how well we can adjust to this. Recently, my parents heard a rumor that someone had introduced another girl to my boyfriend after we started dating. He even saw the girl's photo. My boyfriend claims he declined the offer, but when I jokingly asked to see the photo, he refused, saying he had already deleted it. I feel like he is lying. My parents blame me for not quickly getting engaged to him and say my emotional intelligence is low, even suggesting that I need someone to teach me how to date. I feel really hurt that my boyfriend has been in contact with another girl while we were already in a committed relationship and he kept it a secret for half a month. I'm really conflicted now and don't want to get engaged. Am I being too petty?",
        "keywords": "Love, security, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Your parents think he is excellent and want you to get engaged as soon as possible. Firstly, in this relationship, it's your parents who think he is excellent and want you to marry him. Moreover, you only confirmed your relationship in June, and the foundation of your feelings is not strong yet. This kind of marriage feels like the arranged marriages in ancient times, where parents of both sides think it's a good match and make the arrangements. Modern society promotes freedom - freedom in marriage, freedom in love. Even if the other person is excellent, so what? If you get married and are unhappy and end up divorcing, what's the point of getting married? Find someone who loves you and is focused on you, and you won't have to worry about them cheating. Isn't that the ideal marriage? After your boyfriend confirmed the relationship with you, when he heard about him going on blind dates, whether it was his parents forcing him or him rejecting them, he still implicitly allowed such a thing to happen and also hid it from you. I think you need to carefully consider someone like that. Just like how your parents think he is excellent and want you to marry him, does that mean he and his parents are also seeking a better match? This also indirectly reflects that his parents don't approve of you much. If your in-laws and husband don't love you, your life will be very difficult after you get married. If you feel wronged, there will be no one to confide in because your family likes your husband-to-be, and you will feel like it's your fault if you complain. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and the most important choice for a woman's life. If you make the right choice, your life will become increasingly happy. So, I hope OP carefully considers and understands their own feelings and chooses what they think is right!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, since you and your boyfriend became official, your parents have been putting pressure on you to get engaged because they think highly of him. However, for various reasons, you have concerns and have not made this decision. Regardless of what these concerns mean to your parents or to your relationship with them, they are important and meaningful to you. Marriage may involve both families, but ultimately it is the two of you who will be living your lives together. During this period of adjustment, you heard that your boyfriend went on a blind date with another girl, even though nothing came of it. This action made you feel uncomfortable. It is evident that you have certain principles and thoughts when it comes to relationships. Being in a relationship means mutual trust, and your partner's actions undoubtedly crossed a boundary, which most people find unacceptable. Therefore, it is normal to feel uneasy. This does not mean you are being narrow-minded; it reflects your perspective on relationships. If someone accepts the idea of cohabitation before marriage and believes that any relationship before marriage is not official, then having ambiguous encounters with potential partners may be acceptable to them. However, for those who don't accept this viewpoint, it is naturally unacceptable, and most people would feel the same. Perhaps through this incident, you can reflect on what kind of relationship and marriage you truly want. At the same time, have a deep and meaningful conversation with your partner about their thoughts on this matter and why they took that action, in order to resolve any tension between the two of you. Best wishes! Karen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation and thank you for the question. First of all, let's not overthink anything. Let's calm down and put everything aside for now, like prosthetics, parents, etc. Ask yourself a question. Just go with your gut instinct, your first reaction. Do you have confidence in marrying him now and having a happy and fulfilling life together? If you have an answer, great. Questioner, is your boyfriend truly outstanding, or do your parents think he is outstanding? Do your parents really think he is outstanding, or do they think that he is the best you can get compared to others, so they consider him outstanding? You, as the questioner, are a normal person with normal intelligence. You should be able to figure this out. Questioner, love and marriage are your own matters. Starting a romantic relationship or getting married just because of pressure, without really wanting to, is not advisable. If it leads to an unhappy outcome, even if you entered into a relationship and marriage due to pressure from others, you will be the one who bears the consequences of that unhappiness and harm. Have you thought about that? Who will help you bear the burden if it turns out to be unhappy? I do not recommend rushing into marriage without being prepared, including being mentally prepared. Moreover, an unhappy marriage cannot keep anyone tied down. At most, it will only wear down both parties in the unhappy marriage, and may even result in mutual harm. At that point, some parents might think it wasn't worth it. Young lady, it is not marriage that keeps someone tied down. If things don't work out, some people will divorce, and sometimes it can be a messy and negative experience that affects the rest of their lives. Furthermore, ask yourself, are you truly satisfied with your boyfriend? For example, with his prosthetics, which you mentioned. Are you satisfied to the point where you can marry him with peace of mind? Questioner, are you not concerned at all about this somewhat forced engagement? If it's true that he went on blind dates with others, then why blame you for not being able to keep a man? How can a man who is not wholeheartedly focused on one woman be kept by that woman? It's not this woman's fault if he is not single-minded in this matter. You are already engaged, yet he still goes on blind dates with others. If that is indeed the case, Questioner, do you think he respects you? If he behaves this way now, what about after marriage? Will he suddenly start to respect you and your family? Will it not instead lead to a strange kind of self-confidence? After all, he has done all of this, and someone is pushing their daughter onto him. How desperate must she be to get married? Questioner, have you thought about the prospect of being looked down upon in your married life? And can you guarantee that after agreeing to the engagement, he won't hide anything from you and your family in the future? Young lady, when it comes to marriage or dating, the most important thing to consider is character, isn't it? Otherwise, jumping into a fire pit, how will you get out of it later on? Everyone has the right to pursue a happy married life, but the prerequisite is based on mutual respect and understanding. If it is because your parents feel that due to certain reasons, like a supermarket selling discounted remaining fruits in order to keep them fresh, you are being married off or taking a bride. Then this already violates the baseline of equality and mutual respect. I'm afraid that such a marriage is bound to be unhappy from the beginning. Being stuck in a situation where you constantly compare what you have with what you could have, isn't that a kind of itching in your heart? Do you think it's just your pettiness or could it be that they are also not so sure about you and are also feeling forced? Young lady, whether a person is happy or not may depend on how they accept their true selves, how they strive for a life they enjoy, how they believe in themselves in difficult times, how effectively they communicate with themselves and others, etc. Entrusting the rest of your life to an engagement and marriage that feels rushed and forced, like quickly selling leftover fruit, isn't the risk too great? And it's not because you have a small-mindedness, is it?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, when it comes to your feelings, you have your own thoughts and may want to see how things develop. However, at the same time, there is another voice around you, coming from your parents, who hope you can quickly hold onto this person simply because they are outstanding. So, I think comparing these two voices makes you question whether you are being too narrow-minded in not wanting to get engaged. Understand that you are not being narrow-minded. Marriage is about the rest of your life, so it is normal to take more time to observe and consider. Since you already have some intuition, it is even more important not to rush into making a major life decision. You should carefully examine the situation. So, in this matter, you can also listen to your own voice, because your voice understands you the best. From your parents' perspective, they also have your best interest at heart and want to quickly catch onto this outstanding person. However, in the long run, if you feel that you need more time to assess, then you should listen to yourself. Understand that whatever decision or doubt you have, there is a reason behind it, so don't think that your doubts should not exist. Allow yourself to raise questions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"...Serious indecisiveness... is absolutely unforgivable. It is very correct for you to re-evaluate your relationship with him, and I give you a thumbs-up for that. He must give you a very reasonable and acceptable reason; his attitude will determine the future of your emotions. From the information you have provided so far, it is unclear what makes you satisfied with him, whether it is good looks, wealth, or talent, everything is unknown... The choices for a good life cannot be influenced by the bickering of people around you... Listen to your inner voice and keep going!\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3357
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it normal to feel anxious and fearful in busy places where there are bright lights and a lot of alcohol?",
        "description": "I am very afraid of places that are full of bright lights, revelry, and bustle. Every time I travel or go out and enter similar places, I feel a great sense of insecurity and want to escape. Over time, I don't like going out or traveling. Is this normal? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, nice to meet you through words. First of all, from your description, I can imagine that such a state must have had a significant impact on your life and some interpersonal relationships. It takes a lot of courage to actively explore and find ways to solve the problem, which is not easy. Secondly, the situation you described belongs to a specific space phobia. This kind of situation is a relatively common problem, but each person presents it differently. However, the anxiety and fear you mentioned belong to typical problems of weak psychological abilities and resilience. Emotions are usually a projection of people's inner feelings, that is, their true inner demands. Fear is a manifestation of a lack of control over possible or imminent events. In other words, you are very worried that you will not be able to control and solve problems that may occur in such situations, so your instinct of self-protection will choose to escape. In this situation, you can try diaphragmatic breathing when you feel scared or anxious, which will help you relax and make you feel less uncomfortable. But it is important to focus your attention on your breathing and make sure that it is diaphragmatic breathing!!! If you are not familiar with it, you can place your hand on your abdomen to feel the rise and fall with each breath. Remember: do not use chest breathing, as it will only make you more anxious. Lastly, the formation of all psychological problems is not something that happens overnight. Therefore, if you want to solve the problem from its roots, you need to figure out why you developed such specific fears. You can try to recall the scene when you first encountered this situation or what happened at that time. This will be beneficial to help you find the cause of the problem. Alternatively, you can seek professional psychological counseling to explore personal growth and discover the reasons behind the issue. By doing so, you can enhance your psychological abilities and resilience, as well as regain control and a sense of security in such situations.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3315
       },
       {
        "question": "When visitors develop transference, how should a novice counselor solve it?",
        "description": "Transference is something that frequently occurs in counseling sessions. If transference is handled properly, the counseling relationship may become more stable and breakthroughs can be made in the visitor's problems. However, dealing with transference can be somewhat challenging for novice counselors. So, how can novice counselors learn to address the visitor's transference?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In dealing with transference, I personally believe that the first step is to clearly inform the other person once this situation is discovered. Secondly, after informing the other person about this situation, it is possible to explore why the counseling party has a transference effect and then address the problem directly. In addition, in most cases, people who come for counseling experience transference because the counselor, as a listener, shows understanding towards their experiences. Therefore, for many counseling subjects who have existing issues, this becomes a way for them to gain self-identity and a sense of security. Until they have other ways to obtain self-identity and a sense of security, they will develop a dependency on the counselor. This is similar to relying on floating logs in a flood. In this regard, my personal suggestion is to recommend that counseling subjects participate in group activities with homogeneity. This way, the scope of their venting is no longer limited to the counselor alone, reducing their dependency and transference towards the counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21163
       },
       {
        "question": "13-year-old wants to die",
        "description": "Attempted suicide\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026",
        "keywords": "Behavior, avoidance, anxiety, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear darling, although I don't know what happened to you, let me give you a hug first (\u00b4\u2229\u03c9\u2229\uff40). I hope I can bring you a little warmth through the screen. What was I doing at thirteen? I was probably getting close to my high school entrance exam. It's quite a coincidence when I think about it. At that time, I was immersed in time-travel novels and firmly believed that I would time-travel before the exam. Even though the exam was approaching, I didn't study at all because I truly believed I wouldn't need it. Unfortunately, in the end, I took the exam just like in a dream and did terribly. The perplexed looks from my parents, the pain of shattered dreams, the high cost of attending a different school, and the guilt in my heart overwhelmed me. Going to a strange school, unfamiliar environment, and high-pressure studying all made me wonder why I had to endure all of this. Later, with the company of friends and the encouragement from my parents, I slowly regained the joy of life. So, my sweetheart, there are still many things in this world worth exploring. If possible, we are willing to listen to your venting. I hope I can bring you a bit of warmth in this world. I love the world, and I love you too. Take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give you a hug, if you're willing, could you please talk in detail about your emotions and troubles? Feeling sad and upset are common in life, encountering unpleasant things is also normal, so it's not unusual for most people to have had thoughts of ending their own lives at some point in their lives. But can OP give your family and friends another chance to talk with everyone? Everyone has the right to decide their own future, I don't know what has happened to OP, maybe I can't understand your sadness, but I still hope that OP can have a good rest for now, wake up and have a cup of warm milk, then slowly think about your own things. Maybe by that time, OP's feelings will be completely different. Hope it helps OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have also had moments like this. But all things are not valid reasons for you to feel unworthy of living; you have lost yourself. You have experienced so much pain, but it will eventually become your wealth in the future, as others have told me. It seems like you are being covered by something, unable to see the truth, just like a math problem that you can't seem to solve, causing you unbearable pain, as if you are the dumbest person in the world. But who knows, one day you will suddenly have an insight! It's just a math problem, what will happen if you don't solve it?! You just haven't seen that there are billions of people who can't solve even simpler problems.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11739
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I always think about giving up? How can I get rid of this childish idea?",
        "description": "In the past few days, I have been sleeping around 10 o'clock and waking up at 4 o'clock to study. These days, I have been sleeping around 12 o'clock and waking up at six or seven. How can I stop staying up so late? Moreover, I always convince myself that I can study without going to the study room, but in reality, I can't study properly. It's frustrating because on one hand, I want to pass the exam, but on the other hand, I don't want to be too tired. How can I get rid of this childish mindset?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, laziness, clutter.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You are struggling with yourself, with an id and a superego. But in reality, the id has taken the upper hand, causing confusion in the self. How can you have the best of both worlds? It is clear that your idea of having the best of both worlds is impossible, so you yourself feel that you need to get rid of this childish idea. Great! You have started to realize and hope to find a solution. Thumbs up to you! For the past few days, you have been sleeping at around ten o'clock and waking up at around four in the morning to study. These days, you have been sleeping around twelve o'clock and waking up at six or seven. This actually refers to two different study methods, with no right or wrong, just whether they are suitable for you or not! Why did you change from sleeping at around ten o'clock to twelve o'clock? Did it affect your studying? Both methods are not easy, just choose the one that works better for you and stick with it! Some people have higher efficiency studying at night, so they sleep and wake up later. As long as you feel energized the next day and can continue studying efficiently, this is also a good method! Don't be too concerned about the process, the process is just a means to an end. As long as the process helps you achieve your goals, it is worth persevering. Of course, the study environment does have an impact on your studying efficiency. Some people choose to study in noisy environments to train their willpower. This is not a scientific approach because willpower is limited. If you use it to deal with a noisy environment, you'll have less willpower for studying. Therefore, a study room is a relatively good study environment. Use the environment to help improve your studying efficiency. I hope you can stay firm in your goals, overcome the current difficulties, and a bright future awaits you! Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1422
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it a problem of consumption and values if one has strong desires but poor self-control?",
        "description": "I grew up in a relatively poor rural area and had never experienced much in the world. Although I spent money carelessly, I never borrowed money. Until I met a friend who introduced me to hot pot for the first time and brainwashed me into buying an iPhone. Although iPhones are indeed very good, they are quite expensive. When I bought it, I was allowed to pay in installments. It was the first time I did something like that, and since then, I have changed. I started buying things in installments, such as cosmetic surgery and games. Although I used to spend a lot on games, I never borrowed money or made in-game purchases. I also have strong desires and poor self-control. I always say that once I have something, I won't pursue anything else, but I always can't resist. At first, I started spending money on games because I might have been emotionally affected, and even in games, there are different levels of hierarchy. How can I change?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, escapism, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Here's a hug for you! I can also understand that your self-control is poor and your desire for shopping and consumption is strong. But you are lucky, as you are now aware of this. I believe there are three reasons that may have led to this mindset. Firstly, you experienced the immediate pleasure of consumption, which reinforced that experience. As you mentioned, you used to live in a relatively poor rural area. So, when you came out, you were dazzled by the outside world and wanted to try everything, see everything, and Alipay and credit cards allowed you to consume beyond your means. This undoubtedly provided you with the conditions for consumption. The joyful feeling of spending money kept increasing, so you couldn't control yourself anymore, even though you already had a lot of debt to pay off. The right to freely dispose of money increased. In the past, my parents controlled my money very strictly, so when I had the freedom to use money, I also spent without restraint because the feeling of having the freedom to dispose of money was too good. After you started working, it should be the same for you, having the freedom to use your own salary to buy whatever you want. There was no correct concept established. Our beliefs are actually influenced by the environment. I hope this doesn't offend you, but I assume that you didn't continue your education and started working after leaving the rural area. I guess you are also not very old. And at this age, it's important for us to establish our own core values. Were the values of getting cosmetic surgery and ranking high in games passed on to you by the people around you, and then you were influenced by them? Seeing this, I hope you don't get discouraged. Nothing is difficult if you put your heart into it! As long as we start making efforts to change ourselves now, it's never too late! My suggestion is to practice self-control. You can start by not playing games, and if you can't do it all at once, limit yourself to only one game per day. The general idea is to start practicing self-control with small things. Learn. If you have time, consider enrolling in adult education classes to enrich yourself. If you don't have time, buy a few books and read a little bit at a time. Regardless of which option, as long as you are learning, you are enriching yourself. Plan your finances reasonably. You can take online courses on financial management or buy books to do some simple financial planning for yourself. Meditate. Have a dialogue with yourself, let yourself settle down, and practicing meditation can also improve self-control, killing two birds with one stone!",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7705
       },
       {
        "question": "How to heal after a breakup that happened over a year ago?",
        "description": "Last year we broke up, it has been over a year now. Even though it seemed like I initiated the breakup, it was actually because we were giving each other the silent treatment for a week, and I couldn't control myself from asking and questioning him why he was acting that way. When we first broke up, I often suffered from insomnia and played games all the time, and even playing games was because of him, so I would often lose control of my emotions while playing. I constantly questioned myself why this happened when everything was fine before. I would go back and forth between understanding and being torn. This went on repeatedly. He didn't do anything particularly wrong, he just did what a boyfriend should do. But I'm still very attached to him and can't let go. Later on, things started to get back to normal, and it was because there was an earthquake where I was, and I only called him. He never answered, and at that moment, I was thinking if I died, would he feel any pain inside. In that sense of disappointment, the pain became less evident. Slowly, I didn't miss him as much. Recently, the yearning for him has become strong again. I suddenly realized that I might not be able to move on, even though I may come across someone who sparks my interest now, but as soon as I contemplate going further, I start losing interest. We were in a long-distance relationship, relying mostly on video calls, and I was the one who always went to see him.",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, dependency, attachment, arguments",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the core issue: unable to let go after more than a year of breakup and difficulty accepting new relationships. Analysis: from the overall description, it seems that the entire post revolves around 'him', discussing how he treated you, what he did while in a relationship, and even whether he would be sad if an earthquake happened... Have you noticed, you were originally an independent individual, but you have become like an empty shell without personal thoughts, constantly revolving around his actions and thoughts, and absorbing the negative energy emitted by him to sustain yourself. You cannot find a sense of self-worth in love relationships, so once someone establishes a connection with you, you completely entrust yourself to another person. As psychologist Wu Zhihong said, the other person feels that you want to cling to them, hang on them, which is very burdensome and instinctively makes them want to escape. So even if you question him, why? He can only feel a choking discomfort and cannot give you a precise answer. Therefore, even if you now enter into a new relationship, you still feel helpless, and your sense of self is empty or even occupied by your ex, inevitably losing motivation and interest. If you don't realize the seriousness of lacking self-identity/self-worth, no matter how many relationships you have, they will be filled with the fear of being abandoned. Suggestions: since the reason you still can't let go of a relationship that has been separated for a year is due to a lack of self-identity/self-worth, in simple terms, it means you don't know how to love yourself. Loving oneself is an abstract concept, so now I'll give you some specific feasible practices. Transform the habit of focusing on others' feelings into first being aware of your own feelings in everything, for example, in a situation, first recognize your emotion: sadness/anger/happiness, etc. Persist in engaging in activities that are beneficial for self-improvement and building self-confidence, such as practicing hobbies like drawing/calligraphy/music/reading, or doing exercise and fitness. Physical fitness also to some extent determines confidence. Strengthen the belief in self-affirmation, give yourself suggestions before sleeping, \"I am great, I am worthy\", and bring self-affirmation into the subconscious. Surround yourself with positive and appreciative people who inspire you, they will unconsciously influence your self-confidence. When you fully do the above points, you will understand the meaning of the phrase \"if you bloom, butterflies will come\", relationships are the result of mutual attraction, not simply one person blindly pursuing and unequal giving can bring good results.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, I see that being heartbroken has caused you a lot of pain this past year, and I also see that you have been trying hard to overcome this pain and have achieved some results. However, recently, this pain has surged back and made you feel like you can't move forward. You hope to get help in healing your wounds. Before answering your question, I want to give you a hug to express my comfort to you. It is normal to feel pain and sadness for a period of time after a heartbreak, but if you cannot get over it and cannot enter into a new relationship, even if you meet someone you are interested in, you start losing interest once you think about taking it further. In psychology, this is called \"generalization,\" where you associate the pain from previous heartbreaks with any future relationship. In order to improve your current state, you should start with the following aspects: 1. Restore a normal daily life and adjust your emotional state. Stick to a regular daily routine, preferably with a strict schedule, and check every day if you have been following it. This is the first step in adjusting your emotional state. Only with a normal life can you stabilize your emotions and recover from the pain of a heartbreak. 2. Participate in more recreational and social activities. These activities are effective ways to adjust your emotional state. Through recreational activities and social interactions, you can fully release the suppressed feelings of pain and sadness, further adjusting your emotional state. By communicating and connecting with others, you can listen to their opinions and experiences about heartbreak, which can also help release your own emotional pain. 3. Use some positive affirmations to boost your confidence. As your emotional state recovers, you can start using positive affirmations, such as \"the previous relationship is in the past, and I need to start a new one,\" or \"what's done is done, only by ending it can I truly start again.\" This can better help you restore and boost your confidence. 4. Reflect on the lessons learned and start a new relationship. Only when your emotions are stable can you truly analyze the problems in your previous relationships. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. You need to analyze your own strengths and weaknesses and acknowledge the areas where you may have fallen short, as well as recognize the areas where your ex-partner may have been at fault. This will provide you with valuable experience and lessons for your next relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Long-distance relationships rely on video calls, and it is you who takes the initiative to reach out to him each time. You hope to receive a strong response and a high level of attention from him, but it never happens. After a cold war, you blame and question him, eventually leading to a breakup. Immersed in the pain of losing him, you found a sense of existence. You desperately hope that even after the breakup, you still hold the most important place in his heart. However, reality seems to slap you in the face once again. The intense desire to have what you cannot obtain, the strong attachment and entanglement, the inability to heal, the fear, the distress... Is it like this? Many people experience the pain of a breakup. The rupture of a relationship indeed causes one's self to collapse for a certain period of time, and it does require time for rebuilding and healing. However, over the past year, it seems that you haven't really rebuilt yourself, and this wound has even worsened. It might seem like the reason for the breakup is responsible for the current situation, but from your description, it can be seen that this trauma may have existed long before, and the breakup only triggered its manifestation. And subconsciously, you chose to stay in the same place to \"savor\" the pain instead of choosing personal growth because pain and lack of love are the most familiar feelings to you. Therefore, I hope that you can be more vigilant and reflect on yourself at this stage. What is your emotional pattern? What was the reason for your breakup? Do you need to take responsibility for it? Did you fail to establish an attachment with your family and parents? Do you believe in love? Do you believe that you deserve to be loved? With awareness, observe that wounded and fragile little girl within you, give her love and acceptance, and then you can reduce excessive demands and emotional reactions. As for how to break up with your ex-boyfriend, I recommend watching the course by Teacher Lu Qi. They use the theory of cognitive psychology to establish a systematic approach on how to break up and how to get through the healing period after a breakup. I won't go into further detail here. In life, we will always encounter the pain of separation and breakup. Only through pain, self-growth, and self-responsibility can you truly help yourself move away from pain and heal. Self-growth is a path you can choose at any time. May you love yourself, and may someone who truly deserves you love you. For more emotional Q&A, please follow \"Xie Xie You Ke\"~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Why did you first suggest breaking up? Maybe when you suggested the breakup, deep down you didn't really want to break up, but rather wanted to see your boyfriend's reaction to prove something or give you a sense of certainty? Think about what you need, tell him directly, face your own needs and his real response to your needs, maybe it can help you make a decision faster, whether to go or stay?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15625
       },
       {
        "question": "There are always many negative images that appear, escaping from reality, feeling unhappy oneself.",
        "description": "There are many negative feelings coming out of my head. Something very private has been known by everyone, and I feel very hurt and unhappy! I feel very suppressed! I really want to resign and don't want to go to work! These thoughts of escaping reality make me unhappy.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! It's frustrating when someone knows a private matter in your mind. Take a moment to think about it, how did you find out that someone knew about your privacy? Or did you imagine it yourself? Instead of worrying about it, why not investigate if that privacy really leaked? By addressing anxiety promptly, you can give yourself a relieved heart and lead a peaceful life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12461
       },
       {
        "question": "I no longer care about my mom now, am I really sick? Or am I just selfish?",
        "description": "I used to care a lot about whether my mom was healthy and if she was safe on the road. I was afraid something might happen to her, maybe because I didn't know how to handle it. And I really wanted her to be happy because I knew she had a hard life, so I wanted to make money and support her. But later, I went through a heartbreak and some other things, and I became numb to her tears. I just felt annoyed and didn't want to cause her trouble. I just wanted to die. I hoped she could live well, and I didn't care whether she was in pain or not. Anyway, I just stopped caring about her. I feel like my emotions are hard to control sometimes, but at the time, I knew clearly what I was doing. But now, when I'm calm, I don't quite understand why I acted like that. Is it because I'm sick or just pretending to be sick to be selfish? I think I still have thoughts, but I just let myself go.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions, emotional regulation, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see your concerns and I hope I can help you. From your description, I can see that you are a responsible and caring son who wants to bring happiness and joy to your mother. Your filial piety is commendable. I also understand that you are not entirely satisfied with your current state due to a breakup and other reasons, but you don't want it to affect your mother. I can understand your emotions and feelings when facing your mother's inquiries. Let's try to look at these situations from a different perspective. \n\nFirstly, take responsibility for yourself. Whether it's a breakup or other worries, it's something that many people go through in this stage of life. Don't doubt yourself because of it, especially for a breakup, as it's not something you can decide on your own. There are many objective reasons behind it. Don't beat yourself up over it, instead, see it as a process of gaining experience. Allow others to not accept you and allow yourself to experience heartbreak temporarily. It's okay to feel sad, but also remember that love is just a part of life and it doesn't determine everything. Take responsibility for yourself.\n\nSecondly, let your mother know. It's evident that you love your mother very much. Due to your reasons, you may genuinely not want to tell her and worry her. There's nothing wrong with that, but at the same time, you might overlook that your concealment may make her more worried and anxious. It's clear that your mother also relies on you emotionally, which is why she expresses her concerns through tears. Therefore, you need to find a way to make her understand the difficulties and problems you are facing in your growth. Even if she may not be able to help you, sharing with each other is a relatively safe way to release emotions and reduce unnecessary misunderstandings between you. Together, you can face potential difficulties and create a virtuous cycle.\n\nThirdly, become better. Life is like a rushing river, occasionally changing its course but never turning back. Draw a small end to the unhappiness of the past and make yourself better from a new starting point. Let both yourself and your mother have a present and future where you can smile again. Don't dwell on self-doubt. As intelligent as you are, I'm sure you have your own direction in mind. Keep going! Wishing you the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u3010Loving oneself is the greatest way to repay parents\u3011I feel heartbroken to hear that you are contemplating suicide. There must be something that has made you feel so frustrated and hopeless. At the same time, I can see that you love your mother very much, even excessively. Why do I say that? Let's take a look together. \u3010Firstly\u3011, you have mentioned your mother multiple times. \"I used to care a lot about my mother's health and safety on the road. I was afraid that something might happen to her, and I didn't know what to do if it did. I also wanted her to be happy because I knew she had a difficult life, so I wanted to earn money to repay her. But after I experienced heartbreak and other things, I became indifferent to her tears. I just felt annoyed and didn't want to cause her any trouble. I just wanted to die, hoping that she could live well. I stopped caring whether she was suffering or not. Basically, I stopped caring about her.\" Two-thirds of your words are about your mother, how you understand her, and how you don't want to burden her. It is evident that you prioritize your mother's feelings over your own and dedicate yourself to her. This reflects a people-pleasing personality. \u3010Secondly\u3011, your heartbreak was a turning point for you. Why do I say that? It is because, as a habit, you always give psychological strength to your mother first. When it came to your own heartbreak, your psychological strength was actually lower than usual. The first layer of relationship is the relationship with oneself, which means you should love yourself first. But you have reversed the order, prioritizing external feelings over yourself. This is undoubtedly an unhealthy arrangement. However, it was this heartbreak that made you redirect your focus onto yourself and prioritize self-care. \u3010Thirdly\u3011, following traditional filial piety has made you feel unfilial. We have all grown up under traditional Chinese education, and \"filial piety\" is undoubtedly the most difficult thing to grasp. Because our parents are our elders, once they accuse us of being \"unfilial,\" we feel a strong sense of guilt and shame. To avoid carrying the label of \"unfilial,\" we often try to meet our parents' unreasonable expectations, and sometimes even assume the role of being the parent. However, this approach brings more harm than good. \u3010Fourthly\u3011, the consequences of misplacing the order between parents and oneself. By taking over the responsibilities of parents and doing things that we should not do for ourselves, such as being responsible for our mother's personal safety, we neglect our own personal safety. According to this erroneous order, you will become someone who is not responsible for yourself. \u3010Fifthly\u3011, how to achieve \"neutral filial piety\"? 1. This can also be understood as \"being filial but not submissive.\" In other words, we only need to respect and acknowledge our parents. Because a part of who we are comes from them, denying them is equivalent to denying ourselves. Parents came to this family before we did, so we should respect them, their limitations, and their fate. We should not meddle unnecessarily. \"Parents are our pride, and we are their achievements.\" 2. Be grateful to your parents and appreciate the life they have given you. Their love and care is already sufficient. Deeply appreciate it! The rest, we can handle ourselves. 3. We don't need to please our parents or necessarily like them. Some parents indeed do not know how to respect or love their children because they themselves have never been respected or loved. These parents may be irresponsible or disrespectful towards their children. In such cases, we don't need to like them or please them. Parents are not always right, so we can disagree when they are wrong. 4. Become your own source of light and let it radiate to others, illuminating them. You should love yourself first, and then others. Fill yourself with psychological energy and then give love within your capacity. Love yourself well. Self-love is not selfish; it is an expression of responsibility towards oneself. Being irresponsible to oneself and pushing responsibility onto others is what selfishness entails. Wishing you the best, namaste!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think you just sometimes have intense emotions. In the past, we were closest to our mother, so naturally we would care about her every move. Now that we're older, especially after falling in love, our attention shifts from one person to another. After a heartbreak, we have many emotions that we can't process on our own. It's difficult to take care of our mother's emotions when we can't even take care of ourselves properly, after all, everyone's energy is limited. From your question, I can see that you feel guilty, but in reality, you just don't have enough energy to care about your mother. Just trust that your mother will take care of herself, after all, she was fine before you came into this world. Right now, what you need the most is to take care of yourself and handle the separation from your girlfriend. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The OP may be affected by a series of negative events recently, such as a breakup, which has affected their mood and made them feel down, even finding it difficult to control their emotions. This is a normal reaction when facing adversity and it takes time to slowly recover. However, if the OP has been in this state for several months, to the point where it is affecting their daily life, it is recommended to seek psychological counseling to help them recover. It seems that the OP had a close relationship with their mother, perhaps slightly beyond the normal boundaries. I also care about my mother, but I still have confidence in her. Based on her daily mental and physical condition, I don't need to worry about her all the time or have the fear that something might happen to her. Could the OP be overly anxious? While your mother is important, you also need to have your own life, and your own life is more important. You can't revolve everything around your mother. Your mother raised you to experience the beauty of the world as an independent individual. She can only accompany you for a short distance, and the rest of your life is for you to experience on your own. Perhaps when facing some challenges, you feel your own vulnerability and think that you don't have the ability to take care of your mother as much anymore. This is also very normal. In a crisis, it is important to take care of yourself first. Besides, your mother is not a baby anymore and doesn't need your 24-hour care. So, focus on yourself now, take good care of yourself, improve your mood. You are not being selfish, you are just tired and a bit hurt. You need to love yourself and let yourself recover. Consider yourself more, do things you like, talk to good friends, and distract yourself. If you are really struggling, don't forget to seek help in a timely manner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From your words, I can sense your confusion because it seems like there have been some changes in you. You used to care a lot about your mother, but now you don't feel much towards her. However, you seem to be confused about these changes and want some confirmation, such as whether you're \"sick or selfish.\" Maybe you really want to find a relationship or position to be with your mother. Before, you always cared about her and worried about her safety. It seems like you didn't know how to face your life without her, so at that moment, you couldn't allow her to leave. But when you experienced a heartbreak, the relationship between you and your mother started to change. You no longer cared as much about her, and you hoped to leave her by fantasizing about your own departure. Separation from parents is a topic that everyone encounters in their lives. This topic is so heavy, complicated, entangled, and ever-changing. However, it is a topic that we must face in order to grow and become independent. I think you are troubled by it too. You know what you're doing, but it's difficult to control your emotions at that moment. The outburst of emotions may bring guilt or feelings of being self-centered, so you may doubt whether you are \"sick or selfish.\" Perhaps you are already capable of being who you need to be and don't need anyone else to tell you what to do. Stay in those feelings, immerse yourself, sort them out, and you will find your answers. This is the beginning of independence and separation from parents.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, based on your description, it seems that you no longer want to bear the burden of your mother's heavy love, is that right? I wonder how old you are now? I can tell that you love your mother very much, and I assume that she has done a lot for you. In the past, you used to worry about your mother and wanted to earn money to repay her. But later on, you didn't want to let your mother know about your troubles. On one hand, you hoped to have your own privacy space, and on the other hand, you didn't want to burden your mother \u2013 that is, what you called not thinking about whether your mother is suffering, feeling \"selfish.\" In fact, it is because you want to start separating from your mother. You don't need to depend on each other anymore, but rather be two independent minds, souls, and lives. Is there such a possibility? Separation always makes people suffer. Finally, you mentioned that you feel difficult to control your emotions. Is it \"difficult to control\" or \"don't want to control\"? Under your emotional state, could it be that you desire some things deep inside? If necessary, I recommend seeking help from a counselor on the platform! Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, is it because of a lot of unresolved emotional stress that you're feeling? Maybe what we really need is more love and care. Perhaps start by taking care of yourself, so that you can better take care of others. The fact that you're able to talk about it means you're already on the path to finding a solution. It might take some time, but it's okay, take it slow and steady. Believe that you will eventually find ways to improve. Keep it up.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21468
       },
       {
        "question": "It's about to have mid-term exams, and I keep arguing with my mom. She speaks really offensive words. I can't take it anymore.",
        "description": "There are only 15 days left until the high school entrance examination. She keeps bothering me and used to talk about suicide. Other people say I'm making a big deal out of nothing and that I'm just pretending. I seriously can't go on anymore. I always feel suffocated. I feel like I'm perfectly fine and not sick, but everyone says I have depression. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, with only fifteen days left until the final exam, this period of time before the exam is probably the most difficult to endure. However, each day passes one by one, so if you make the most of each day, half a month will quickly go by. During this time, you may be under a lot of pressure, and I think your mother may also be under a significant amount of pressure. She will worry about you, but unfortunately, she cannot study for you. The only thing she can do is to add pressure to you. This is her way of expressing her own anxiety. So, no matter what she says, you don't need to take it too seriously or let it get to you. There's no need to argue with her either. When we argue, the things we say are often irrational and it doesn't solve any problems, but rather hurts each other. Other people cannot know what we truly think inside, and it's normal for them to not understand. We also don't need everyone's approval. Walk your own path and let others say what they want. If someone says you have depression, I don't know what basis their judgment is on. If you have some symptoms related to depression, you can consider seeing a psychologist. As the exam is coming up and there is a lot of mental pressure, it's actually helpful to talk to a psychologist or counselor. By expressing your thoughts and feelings, you will feel more relaxed. If your school has a counselor, you can also talk to them. Sending you a hug, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I really understand and sympathize with the situation and feelings of the OP. In a way, isn't this also a kind of experience for the OP? The child from a poor family becomes mature early, and an imperfect parent can actually help a child become more mature and independent at an early age. If the OP wants to change the current situation, they can only start from themselves, let go of their fantasies about their mother. Many conflicts might arise because our expectations are too high. Accepting her is just like that. Then naturally, you will focus on yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18425
       },
       {
        "question": "At the age of 14, would cutting your wrist be very painful? How long would it take to die? Where is the major artery located?",
        "description": "Hello, I am a 14-year-old girl. I have been thinking of dying for two years now, and today I have made the decision to commit suicide. Just now, at 16:00, I went downstairs to the pharmacy to buy sleeping pills, but the doctor said I need a prescription from the hospital, and they don't have them here. So I have decided to cut my wrists. Actually, jumping off a building would be the best method since it is quick, but I remembered that my grandmother had jumped off our house before to commit suicide, so I gave up on that. I have already looked up a lot of suicide methods before, and online it says that cutting your wrists and soaking them in warm water won't be too painful. As for the timing, I need to check again. I still hope that kind-hearted people can tell me the exact location of the major artery. Thank you. I plan to commit suicide at 18:00 today. Please don't try to console me if you are reading this. I don't know why, but whenever I see or hear comforting words, I feel even worse and guilty. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. Of course, I would also like to talk to someone who understands the same feelings as me. If possible, could we die together for love? [laughs]",
        "keywords": "Treatment, mental crisis, mental counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Before responding to the original poster's question, countless thoughts flashed through my mind, and I couldn't decide which one to use. After thinking about it, I decided to share a little story with the original poster first. A few days ago, while taking a shower, the bathroom heater fell off from where it was hanging and broke the toilet bowl underneath (it's hard to believe that ceramic could break plastic like that). Although I could have glued it back together, the bond wouldn't be tight and it would easily leak water. So, I took a hammer and smashed the toilet bowl. Before smashing it, I didn't realize how sharp the ceramic pieces were, and they cut my hand in several places. A lot of blood flowed out, and it didn't hurt much at the time. But after washing my hands and a few seconds passed, it started to hurt. So, I quickly put on gloves to prevent further cuts. Even a small cut on the skin hurts, let alone an artery. The pain is much stronger, to the point where it's unbearable. Watching the blood flow out of my own body and feeling life slipping away while being helpless is a terrifying and painful experience. It's definitely not something fun to go through. As for how long it would take to die, I don't know, since I've never tried. I'm afraid of pain and didn't dare to attempt it. As for where the major arteries are, I can only say they are in the body. However, the original poster is a 14-year-old girl, and I believe she is someone who values cleanliness and beauty. If she were to cut herself, not only would her body become covered in blood and dirty, but it would also attract flies and ants due to the smell of blood. At that point, it would be difficult to even move a finger, let alone try to kill these flies and ants. One would just have to watch them crawl all over their body. Very few people would be willing to endure such a feeling. I'm curious about what made the original poster have such thoughts and only decided to act on them two years later. What happened during those two years that brought such a significant stimulation to the original poster's inner self, to the point where she can no longer bear such pressure and wants to give up her desire for a better life? Whatever thoughts and emotions one has, if they are kept suppressed inside oneself, others won't be able to see or hear them. After all, no one has the \"superpower\" to directly see into someone else's inner world. Only by expressing these thoughts and emotions in a reasonable and appropriate manner can they be known and understood by others, and only then can they be accepted and recognized. Others will understand what the original poster wants, and then consider whether they can provide the corresponding satisfaction. In other words, if the original poster wants to obtain the desired satisfaction from others, she must let others know what she needs. The clearer and more detailed these needs are expressed, the easier it will be for others to understand, accept, and then possibly provide the desired satisfaction. However, all of these satisfactions can't be achieved through suicide. If one kills their own body, they will lose everything they can let go or can't let go of, including their hopes. There won't be any liberation. If one wants to escape from pain, they need to understand how their pain is generated, stay away from people and things that cause them pain, do things they want to do and can do, and give themselves some satisfaction, which can bring them a lot of happiness. For example, if one wants to sing, they can sing outside of class as long as it doesn't affect others. If one wants to dance, they can also dance outside of class. These are things that one can freely decide and are within their own abilities.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20209
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I tell the original partner after discovering I have been cheated on for a year?",
        "description": "We were together for a year, and when I got to know him, I confirmed multiple times that he didn't have a girlfriend before getting close to him. We had a lot of contact, and there was no way to tell that he was married, because they lived in different places and didn't communicate much on a daily basis, nor did they meet frequently, making it difficult to find out. This month, he suddenly became distant, initially breaking up with me for other reasons, but in the end, he admitted that he had already gotten married before we met. This month, he is preparing for a wedding banquet because his wife unexpectedly became pregnant three months ago, which prompted him to decide to hold the banquet. Should I tell his wife?",
        "keywords": "Romance, heartbreak, infidelity, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for your trust. From your description, I can see that you have experienced a year of romantic relationship and eventually discovered that there was a third party involved, which is really infuriating! At the same time, you also want to take a stance of \"unawareness\" for yourself, right? So, is it based on this consideration that you want to inform his fianc\u00e9, or do you have other considerations as well? Whatever you do, as long as it is not impulsive and you also consider the consequences of your actions, it is okay. There is one principle that needs to be valued, which is to protect yourself and avoid further harm.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "What is the purpose of telling his wife what kind of person you are? First, you need to be clear about it. Is it to let his wife know of your existence and make her leave him so that you can be together? Or is it to tell his wife that he cheated on her with you and confront them both together? Or perhaps to tell his wife that their relationship is broken and then break up with him as well? There may be more possibilities. I haven't sensed what your emotions are like.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14423
       },
       {
        "question": "How to overcome psychological imbalance when one tends to compare themselves with others unconsciously?",
        "description": "Will people feel jealous and resentful when their friends, who used to look similar to themselves, become more beautiful through plastic surgery? I also compare myself with colleagues from time to time and feel jealous. Even with my own sister, I feel the same way. I feel extremely inferior, leading to excessive vanity. I feel uncomfortable whenever I think someone is better than me. How can I overcome this mindset?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, self-growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Based on the description provided by the questioner, whether it's feeling jealous when a friend becomes more beautiful or feeling upset when someone doesn't attend their wedding, these feelings of psychological imbalance stem from \"unconscious comparison with others.\" Social psychologist Festinger proposed a theory called \"social comparison theory,\" which suggests that people often use comparisons with others to understand and evaluate themselves. Furthermore, this comparison is an unconscious and spontaneous process that occurs automatically when we are exposed to information about others. Comparing oneself to someone who is better off is called upward social comparison, such as comparing wealth with someone like Wang Sicong. Comparing oneself to someone less fortunate is called downward social comparison, such as comparing height with someone like Guo Xingming. The saying goes, \"There is always someone better than you, but also someone better than them.\" Downward social comparison can enhance positive emotions and self-esteem, while upward social comparison can lower self-evaluation and self-esteem. Social comparison is a universal psychological phenomenon that we have all experienced. Taking a quote from the movie \"Ex-Files 2\" and modifying it a bit: \"We live to compare. Women compare beauty, men compare wealth. Love is sweeter, marriage is destiny. By comparing, we seek to determine who wins and loses. Winners gain a sense of security, while losers lose confidence. We use emotions to bring people closer, but use comparison to create distance.\" Unfortunately, the questioner has been engaged in upward social comparison, resulting in a lower level of self-esteem. At the same time, their degree of social comparison exceeds that of the average person. Why do you always compare yourself to others? 1. You feel unable to control yourself or your life. In our lives, there are times when we lose control of what is happening. Life is full of unexpected challenges and events, and when you experience these, you naturally feel unsettled. When your sense of security is threatened, you may excessively focus on others and what they do or don't have. You use \"comparison\" to deepen your sense of security and control. 2. You lack self-awareness. A child who has never been treated honestly and deeply by their parents will not learn to see themselves honestly and deeply. Many children are emotionally neglected by their parents from an early age, and their emotional needs receive little attention and recognition. To attract their parents' attention, they gradually hide their true selves and try to conform to others' expectations. Growing up in this lack of self-awareness makes it easier to compare oneself to others and to determine one's own worth. 3. You have low self-worth. Low self-worth may drive you to seek out people who make you feel superior, but in reality, it may be the opposite. You may find and gravitate towards people who seem better off than you because there will always be someone better than you. The self-esteem built through social comparison is unstable. You engage in social comparison because of your low self-worth, and this social comparison, in turn, deepens your sense of low self-worth. 4. In your upbringing, you were often compared to your siblings. Some parents are not aware that comparing their children to each other is harmful. Some parents intentionally do this because they believe it will motivate the children. If you grew up in a family that focused on comparisons, you learned this pattern and continue to repeat it with the people around you as an adult. How can you stop excessively comparing yourself to others? 1. Increase your awareness of comparison. To change this deeply ingrained habit, you need to increase your awareness. You may have been comparing yourself without even realizing it. To change this, you first need to become aware of it. So, whenever you catch yourself starting to compare, you need to be vigilant and mindful. When you have increased awareness, stop the comparison before it fully takes hold. For example, when you notice yourself starting to compare, visualize a prominent red stop sign in your mind and silently say \"stop,\" or find another method that works for you. 2. Focus on your true inner self. Take some time to reflect, or seek the help of a psychologist, to help you sort through these questions: What do you want? What do you like? What do you not like or need? As an independent individual, what are your true strengths and weaknesses? What kind of person do you want to become? 3. Remember that everyone is a complete but imperfect person. Everyone is multi-faceted, and just like everyone else in this world, you have major strengths and minor weaknesses, small talents and major flaws. Only when you see, know, and accept everything about yourself, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, and add them all up, will you discover something amazing. When you no longer focus on individual aspects of yourself and instead pull back your attention to see the bigger picture, you will see how all the pieces of your personality fit together. You will realize that you are a complete person, even if not perfect, but that's who you are. What's important is that when you integrate all these parts and see the complete picture, you may find that you are already good enough. Lastly, the meditation planet also has a meditation exercise for dealing with jealousy. You can try it out.------------ Meditation Planet App, a one-stop meditation personal coach that effectively helps with sleep, stress reduction, relaxation, and focus.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16548
       },
       {
        "question": "My girlfriend has become disillusioned and no longer wants me. How can I win her back?",
        "description": "I have been with my girlfriend for three years. There weren't many problems in the first two years, but in the last year, I became a bit selfish and didn't consider my girlfriend's feelings. I even acted cold and controlling towards her, displaying male chauvinism. Now she is feeling disheartened and distant from me. I want to change, but she is not giving me a chance.",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, and winning back a former partner.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, ~~ give the OP a warm hug~ From the OP's description, it can be seen that the OP still can't let go and hopes to rekindle this relationship, which means that you still have feelings for your girlfriend. Here, I would like to offer you some advice in the hope that it will be helpful to you. 1. Self-reflection #You have been together with your girlfriend for three years, and there weren't many problems in the first two years, but you became a bit selfish in the third year#. The OP may want to reflect on why you became somewhat selfish in the third year together. Is it because of increased work pressure or something that caused you to lose patience with life and accumulate negative energy that couldn't be resolved, ultimately leading to your selfishness? There are many reasons that have led to your change in character. If you want to win back your girlfriend, you can only find the reasons that have influenced you in this aspect, solve the problems, and learn to adjust your emotions reasonably, so that you can change the \"selfish\" side of you and become the person your girlfriend likes again. 2. Self-change It can be seen that after the separation, the OP has reflected on oneself in order to discover their own mistakes. Failing to consider the feelings of your girlfriend, being emotionally abusive, and having a patriarchal attitude, the OP has summarized the above shortcomings. But have you thought about how to change? The bottom line when forgiving someone is not making them realize where they went wrong and what mistakes they made, because these things are not helpful, right? What we care about is that you know you made a mistake, know how to change, and how you can make amends in the future. These are what we want. Before asking for reconciliation, the OP may want to think about how to change their shortcomings and how to make your former girlfriend believe that you can start over and make changes. Or, when your girlfriend sees you next time, she can feel the changes you have made through your behavior. 3. Correct your mindset and do your best The opportunity is for those who are prepared. If the OP still can't let go of the past, then you should work hard to change yourself and gain the chance of reconciliation. If in the end, you can't go back to the past, at least you have gotten rid of bad habits and gained a better version of yourself. In relationships, there are never absolutes, and often, doing your best is enough. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You can describe her current state towards you as being disheartened and indifferent, which implies that your relationship has become very cold. I won't lecture you with clich\u00e9s, as I assume you're no longer a child and should understand the advice that is typically given. You should be well aware that it is impossible for a cup of water with a certain temperature to suddenly drop below freezing in a very short period of time. If this is true for actual water, then it is even more true for a relationship. Three years may not be considered long, but it is also not short. I believe there are certainly beautiful moments worth reminiscing about, but I don't mean to discourage you when I say that it will be difficult for you to restore this relationship. I think, before she became disheartened and indifferent, with your three-year relationship, she wouldn't have just given up without giving you any chance at all. When there were issues in this relationship (especially as you mentioned in the past year), I believe she must have talked to you about these problems and asked you to improve, but you carelessly let them slip away. In other words, you ended up losing this relationship yourself and completely shattered her kind heart. How can you expect someone who has lost all hope in you to believe that you can change for the better? She would rather believe that her choice was wrong than turn back. This is how relationships work. When you have them, you think you can have them or not have them in your heart, but when you truly realize that you like someone, it is their absence that makes you acutely aware of the value of that relationship. Unfortunately, everything is too late. Just like water that has turned cold, it can be reheated to the desired temperature, but overnight water will always have a different taste. When a relationship cools down, it doesn't mean it's absolutely irreparable, but it is indeed quite difficult. Even if you manage to salvage it, you may never feel the same as before. Consider it a life experience. If you can salvage the relationship, of course, that would be the best outcome. But if you can't, after grieving, you must wipe away your tears. Perhaps you will become more mature in the process.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give the OP a virtual hug. When it comes to getting along with the opposite sex, there are often environmental factors, compatibility in personality, and the ability to communicate effectively when facing problems. Love is ultimately a symbol of compatibility, which is influenced by many factors, such as the environment, personality, and abilities mentioned earlier. I believe that both of you were deeply in love at one point, but because of the way you communicated during times of trouble, it caused repeated hurt. As the hurt accumulated without any other positive factors to mend the wounded hearts, the compatibility of love inevitably decreases and may even disappear. I believe you are feeling regretful at this moment, regretful for missing out on so much before realizing it. You want to salvage the relationship, but you are also anxious about whether you will be able to handle love well if you reconcile. Therefore, as the male figure in the relationship, I hope you can truly rationalize the situation, analyze which aspects have low compatibility between both of you, and whether both parties are willing and able to eliminate the barriers. After you have thought it through, have a conversation again. If you make it through this time, then the next time you encounter problems, you will be able to recover. However, if you cannot reconcile, part ways peacefully and take care of yourselves.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear asker! It's great that you are able to recognize your shortcomings. It is often said that men and women think differently, with men being more rational and women more emotional. Based on this, it is generally easier to win back a girl than a boy. You mentioned that the girl is unwilling to give you a chance; may I ask how long it has been since you broke up? Personally, I believe that after a breakup, it is important to give the other person some time to forget the negative feelings and remember the good things about you. This is where the tried and true method of \"no contact\" comes in. Of course, the duration of \"no contact\" should be determined based on your understanding of your girlfriend's personality. When you feel that she is no longer as angry or sad, try to reach out and communicate with her. Share your thoughts and try to console her. During this time, it is essential to genuinely address your shortcomings, especially any form of emotional abuse, as it is the most hurtful. Show her your changes and care for her. If you truly love her, be willing to give it another shot. The success of winning her back largely depends on your mentality. The following words may be a bit discouraging, but I still want to suggest that if you have made efforts and find no hope of reconciliation, it may be better to let go. The more you invest in something, the harder it is to let go, and it may become about proving yourself rather than the girl. This might also lead to a breakdown in the quality of your relationship once you win her back. Therefore, think carefully about whether you can handle giving without getting a response. In a relationship, most girls just want to see your love in the little things, your willingness to strive for a better future together, and above all, your attitude. A three-year relationship is already quite good in today's fast-paced dating scene, so I hope you can win back your beloved girl. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15442
       },
       {
        "question": "Not fond of men, but still want to get close, always feel like they have ulterior motives?",
        "description": "There is a inexplicable aggression towards men, always feeling that they have ulterior motives, either to get close to me or they must have something going on. I just don't believe in friendship, so I either dislike them or want to avoid them. I don't want to connect or be friends. It's like a sense of insecurity. But with women, it's natural for me to just think that they want to be friends. They are very friendly and not guarded.",
        "keywords": "Romance, dependence, attachment, relationship management, affection.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Not liking men but wanting to get close, always feeling that they have ulterior motives? First of all, I understand and sympathize with your situation, and I want to give you a hug to let you feel the warmth of the world. How can I put it? It seems like you have a sort of androphobia, but in reality, you are curious about and fantasize about the opposite sex, but at the same time, you are afraid to get close to them, thinking that their intentions are impure. However, most of the time, these are just our own fantasies. Our clients self-label, and our preconceptions box us into a certain cognitive framework, so you need to break free from this way of thinking and try to accept and see pure friendship between men and women. Because if you develop an avoidant personality mechanism, it is detrimental to your physical and mental well-being. The feeling of unease stems from your lack of confidence in yourself. You feel that you cannot mix well with boys and that you cannot handle them, which is a kind of insecure behavior. Of course, there are girls in reality who disdain playing with boys, but they are a minority, because most of them are curious and expectant about boys. So, my suggestion is that you might as well open your heart and try to make friends with one or two male friends, and naturally interact with them generously. You don't have to assume that he has a motive or whether he wants to say something to you. In fact, most of the time, the conversations between males and females are not because they want to do something. It's just the mutual attraction between sexes. I now feel that the problem with you, the OP, is just that you are not relaxed, you are very nervous, and you dare not relax and interact with the opposite sex. So, if you want to break this feeling, you need to overcome it yourself and take the first step. You might as well ask your female friends who get along well with boys, how they feel. Maybe it's not as terrifying as you imagine. Everything is just your perception; you have not personally taken the initiative to understand.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Friendship with the opposite sex is quite delicate, and it's difficult to control the boundaries. If the relationship becomes too intimate, it's inevitable to consider going beyond friendship. If it's not intimate enough, it's just like having an acquaintance relationship, such as with a male colleague. It doesn't trigger any ripples in your heart, and there's no need to stay in contact frequently. There's no need to harbor any hostility, just treat them as ordinary people. What you need to be mindful of is the significant other you will eventually live with, there's no need to think too much about other men. I don't have many opposite-sex friends either, but I don't hold any hostility towards them. Just maintain a distance. In short, simply don't care about them. The questioner can also adopt this attitude, focusing on matters at hand, withdrawing when there's nothing to talk about. There's no need to have too much interaction, if you don't want to get close, then just stay away. Why must you force yourself to like men or make friends with them? Isn't a girlfriend enough? It's easy for accidents to happen with opposite-sex friends, so it's good to be cautious. So, relax your mindset now, it's not abnormal to not make friends with the opposite sex, having friends is enough. It's also possible that you haven't met the right guy for you, maybe one day you will suddenly find a guy who is very compatible with you and knowledgeable, and then you can be friends with that kind of person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello dear. You said that you dislike men but want to be close to them. This actually shows that your consciousness does not like men, meaning that your rational level does not like men, but subconsciously you want to be close to them. This subconscious desire to be close is likely based on physiological mechanisms or a deep level of psychological judgment. This deep level of psychological judgment, namely subconscious judgment, believes that your rational consciousness judgment is incorrect. However, because you are not aware of it, you find yourself in a state of disliking men but wanting to be close to them. The aggression towards men may stem from life experiences. It's possible that in past experiences, men purposefully approached you. These experiences you may have forgotten, but your subconscious has not. What you have forgotten is only at the conscious level. In these experiences, some men may have hurt you, causing you to feel insecure. This may have led you to seek a sense of security and be precautious. Seeking security is a non-rational belief of the female seeking safety. Your beliefs include absolutes, such as female friends only wanting to be friends, having a sense of security, and no need for defense. But are all women really just interested in being friends? Are all women truly friendly and without the need for defense? Obviously, this is not true. Absolute judgments often come with incorrect biases. In life, you need to retrace your life experiences and find what caused your biases and approach them with rationality. Acknowledge that you hold a dislike for men based on past experiences and accept that you dislike those few men from your past experiences. However, we cannot condemn all men based on those few experiences. Follow our subconsciousness and make an effort to discern the men you encounter in the future.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4851
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently, I have been growing to dislike my mother more and more. I feel annoyed by her and feel both angry and helpless. What should I do?",
        "description": "I feel like my mom is really hypocritical. If I forget to do something, like forgetting to clean the pot, she will constantly nag at me, saying I'm useless. She doesn't do anything herself but doesn't allow others to criticize her. Every day, she makes me clean her dirty shoes, and if I refuse, she calls me lazy. It's really annoying, and I feel like I'm becoming more and more impatient when talking to her. Sometimes I even want to run away from home. She talks bad about others every day and jokes with the neighbors about things I have never said. Sigh, I'm both angry and helpless, so frustrated. What should I do?!",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hope I can help you, OP: (1) First of all, some nagging and urging from mothers stem from their concern and love for their children, fearing that OP might not do well in the future and take care of themselves properly. However, it could also come from the way your grandmother treated you when you were little, so that's why OP's mother treats OP like this. (2) Furthermore, OP can think about whether their mother really doesn't do anything, or if it's the result of OP's mother being constantly spoiled by their grandmother and father? (3) Lastly, it is suggested that OP first understand the reasons behind their mother's behavior and then choose to have a calm conversation with her, such as doing household chores together, or seeking support from their father. Running away from home is not a good solution, oh! #The world and I love you, wishing you the best~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20704
       },
       {
        "question": "The days are going okay, suddenly feeling very empty, what should I do?",
        "description": "I'm not lacking money, and life is still okay. My girlfriend treats me well. I also have plans for the future. But for some reason, I still feel very hollow and lonely. Whenever it's late at night and everything is quiet, this feeling comes over me...",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. You mentioned this feeling of emptiness and loneliness, which I had a few years ago. I should say that I study psychology, which has allowed my inner self to grow and understand many truths. It has enabled me to better experience life. Actually, the things I faced did not change much, but my state of mind did. In 2013, when I learned that I could be admitted to Zhejiang University to pursue a PhD, I also found out that I was pregnant. Since I was studying engineering, the PhD program required a lot of experiments. My advisor said, if you're pregnant, you can either choose to have the child first and pursue the PhD later, or you can choose to pursue the PhD now but not have the child. I promptly chose to have the child, thinking that I would give birth and then pursue the PhD. Later, the child was born, but things didn't happen as I had imagined. Although I took care of the child and continued preparing for the PhD exams, I also persisted in taking the exams for two years. However, my life quietly changed. My husband was very capable at work and able to provide for our family financially. Due to this situation, he rarely took care of the household and the child, and he hoped that I would focus on taking care of the child and the family at home, while he could focus on his career outside. Although he supported my pursuit of a PhD, he couldn't be there with me to raise the child; he could only offer financial support. During that time, others saw me as very happy\u2014no need to work, no need to worry about money, just take care of the child and enjoy freedom. But deep inside, I felt extremely bored and empty. I lost direction in life because pursuing a PhD seemed like an impossible goal, a distant dream\u2014I couldn't abandon my child's company and education for the sake of a PhD. But is there a way to have the best of both worlds? I have always been seeking, trying to find a balance. The reason I wanted to pursue a PhD was to teach at a university in the future, but I actually didn't like my original field of study because it involved experiments. If I pursued a PhD, I would have to enter the lab again and conduct a lot of experiments, which didn't attract me much. In 2017, I came into contact with psychology and obtained a certificate as a second-level psychological counselor. Later, I studied child education and developmental psychology in the doctoral program at the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences. Through continuous learning, I finally found the direction of my life again. My passion for psychology drove me to learn various aspects of the field. During my study of psychology, I have always been highly motivated because I am genuinely interested, and interest is the best teacher. Now, I do online counseling and participate in local psychological education events. I also believe that in the future, I will definitely stand on the university stage, spreading knowledge of psychology and still fulfilling my dream. What I want to say to you, OP, is that we need to find something we love, which will make us feel that life is meaningful. Additionally, in the ordinary life, we should appreciate the extraordinariness of each day, set small goals for ourselves, and strive to achieve them. You will discover that you can do many things and that your life can be rich and colorful. Let's encourage each other.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "start": 906,
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            "start": 949,
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           },
           {
            "start": 976,
            "end": 978,
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           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Today I heard a story and want to share it with you. There was a person who had a very successful business and earned a lot of money. However, even after achieving success and fame, he still wasn't happy. He always thought that he wanted to have his own career. Eventually, he did have a career and he thought that he wanted to have a lot of money. And he did have a lot of money. But in the end, he still felt unhappy and empty. He didn't know what he needed. One day, he finally understood that what he truly desired was a sense of recognition and value. He wanted to feel useful and help others. So, he started doing charity work. However, he still felt empty inside, so he continued to search for answers. One day, he found a teacher who helped him understand himself. With the guidance of the teacher, he finally realized that all along, he had been trying to prove his worth to others and that it didn't matter. When he was able to affirm his own value, acknowledge his strengths and weaknesses, and accept his true existence, he finally found the answer. He discovered that it is only when a person affirms themselves that they are truly valuable. While seeking affirmation and praise from others may bring temporary joy, it fades away and leaves him feeling empty again. I don't know if you have had similar experiences or faced similar challenges as this person and his teacher, but try to find out the root cause of your emptiness. Each person knows themselves best, so the answer lies within you. Maybe you are afraid to reveal it or maybe you don't know how to reveal it yet, but as long as you keep searching for the answer, one day it will become clear. Reading books about psychology might be helpful to you. I hope my answer is helpful to you, and remember that I and the world love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, congratulations on having a pretty good life. Living without worries, smooth work, and happy family, this is something that many people cannot attain. You're feeling empty right now, maybe because you have a lot of free time and aren't busy with things you like. So you feel empty. I suggest: 1. Learn some new skills, such as calligraphy, painting, baking, etc., to acquire new knowledge and increase the joy in life. At the same time, you can also meet new friends and expand your social circle. 2. Use your free time to do some volunteer work, such as helping at welfare homes or social care homes, to help those in need and create value in your life. Giving to others is always more gratifying than receiving, and it can increase your happiness index. 3. If you like animals, you can adopt a small pet and play with it during your free time to increase your joy in life. Finally, I hope you have eternal happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is impossible for life to always be fulfilling, it is okay to feel empty. The emptiness that the asker is experiencing is what many people want but cannot obtain. Most ordinary people are busy working hard to survive or seeking a long-term partner. The sweet troubles that the asker is experiencing are also what many people want. If the asker wants to have everything, a successful career, no money worries, and a loving partner, and still feel full and fulfilled every day without emptiness, is that asking for too much? I know many celebrities, after making a lot of money, use charity work to realize their own value. The asker can try to help the people around them and do good deeds daily, maybe they will live a more open life and reduce the feeling of emptiness.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 8859
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a girl at home, she is 7 years old. Why has she been disobedient all the time in the last month?",
        "description": "I have a daughter who is 7 years old. Recently, I don't know what's going on, but ever since summer vacation, it seems like my child has become unruly. She doesn't listen no matter what I say, and she confronts me. I've tried everything from threatening and tempting her to saying both good and bad things, but nothing has worked. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, communication between parents and children.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, seeing your words, I can feel that you are a mother who cares a lot about her daughter and loves her very much. Your child is seven years old now and is already in elementary school. At this age, girls have a lot of small ideas. Since the summer vacation, your child has been rebellious and seems to have her own opinions. As parents, how can we open the door for communication and ease the relationship when our child is disobedient? We can try the following thoughts to see if we can find the answers within ourselves. 1. Release your anxiety and emotional stress and calm yourself so that you can better accompany your child. As parents, we are our child's first teachers. When we face difficulties, we don't know what to do, so the child becomes even more unsure. Therefore, release your own stress first and face the present calmly. 2. Understand your child's physical and mental needs and let her express herself. Let the child speak up because she must have thoughts. Take the time to ask the child how she feels about her recent experiences, her mood, and how she is adapting to school. Let the child express her own state. Perhaps her current state is an expectation to attract the attention of her parents, and she needs us adults to slow down and listen. 3. Squat down and face the child together, growing together. The parent-child relationship is more important than the method of education. Our original intention in raising our children is to hope that they grow up healthy and happy, so we will definitely encounter difficulties along the way. Don't avoid or fear the difficulties, face them together with the child. Believe in the child, believe in yourself, and she will help you find the answers together.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
            "start": 126,
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           },
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, congratulations on your child growing up and developing their own independent thoughts. As a parent, I would like to share my perspective and hope to learn together with you. \n\n1. Children aged 7 tend to enjoy their own alone time more. Whether it's during sports, work, or reading, they prefer to spend a longer time completing a task and often immerse themselves in their own world. At this stage, even quiet and well-behaved 7-year-olds will respond strongly if adults disturb or oppose what they are doing. They will gradually have their own opinions. Sometimes, adults' behavior can suppress their thoughts. As parents, it is important to guide and support their opinions and give encouragement. This will win the child's favor. \n\n2. Children's opinions should not be suppressed because it helps them learn independence. We should listen to their ideas and thoughts, which can teach them how to listen to others' opinions. As parents, we should listen more to their opinions and understand what they are thinking. Only then can we guide our children appropriately. \n\n3. Children aged 7 will gradually develop their own personalities, and adult guidance needs to be more carefully observed and responded to. Different strategies should be used for children with different personalities. Encourage more and criticize less for children with strong self-esteem, give more care to introverted children, and give clear rewards and punishments for extroverted children. \n\n4. Children will grow up gradually, and as parents, we need to constantly update our parenting concepts along with their growth. We need to learn to let go gradually and give children enough space. Only then can children grow healthily. After all, being \"obedient\" is not the only criterion for measuring a child's excellence. Wishing you happiness and joy.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\"A few days ago, I went to school to register my sister. I asked her if she wanted to go to Sun Yat-sen University, but she didn't answer. Then I asked her if she would like to study marine science, and she said no. She wants to study engineering machinery. Yesterday, everyone else started school, but they have to start a few days later. Mom asked her if she was ready for school, and she said she didn't want to go. Mom said then how will she study engineering machinery, and she suddenly wanted to go. In the afternoon, she held a calendar and asked me when we start school. I said the 10th, and after finding the 10th, she counted 5 days, pointing to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and asked if we will have a break after 5 days. I said yes. Then she said, and then it will be winter vacation, right? I completely confused. When it comes to her, why is it so hard to stop talking? Oh well, if you want to play with her, you must understand \"engineering machinery.\" Otherwise, she won't play with you. For the next year, the three of us have decided that even though she is 7 years old, we won't go to any primary school. Let's just follow the half-childish and half-serious path for another year, and the school's teachers have also discussed with us that in one year's time, along with outdoor activities, social practice, and family life, she will read \"The Yellow Emperor's Inner Canon\" together with some older children to understand her own body and the four seasons of the world.\" This is the state of a 7-year-old child. You can take a look at how your daughter's progress when she was seven. Wait a bit, don't rush, there are ways to handle it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, mom. I'm glad you're reaching out for advice on raising your children. I don't believe you should aim to raise a daughter who simply obeys orders. Ultimately, you surely don't want her to become someone who just blindly follows society's rules, right? There's no meaning in sticking to conventions. Children are independent individuals, and what's truly good for her is to support her growth and give her a push towards success. But this doesn't mean shaping her into a certain type of person based on your own will. Your daughter might be going through a rebellious phase right now, but don't panic. What parents need to do is show their children the boundaries of society through their actions and uphold those boundaries. In everyday life, let your child feel the genuine love from her family. No matter what happens, parents will always be there for her. People who feel loved won't stray too far from the right path.",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 9271
       },
       {
        "question": "I can no longer afford to keep my pet, and I regret why I got it. I feel very sad, what should I do?",
        "description": "A year ago, I got a guinea pig and I really liked it. At that time, I was very lonely in college, so having it made me feel like I wasn't depressed. Now that I have graduated, I brought it back to my hometown. I am in a difficult situation now because I have to go out of town but my family won't take care of it. I tried once to let them take care of it, but when I came back, the guinea pig was in a terrible condition. I hoped my friends could help, but they also rejected me. Now I have to go out of town and can't take it with me. I don't know what to do. Since I came back to my hometown, I have had various troubles. I thought about getting rid of it, but the thought of it dying in the wild scares me. It would be like killing it myself. I regret why I got it. Now I feel like I'm in a deep darkness. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first let me give you a little hug. Firstly, let's go through your problems. 1. You have a pet guinea pig that is very important to you, but your family is not taking care of it properly. 2. Because you have to go out of town, you can't take your pet with you, but your family and friends refuse to help take care of it. 3. Now you are feeling conflicted, thinking that you have harmed it and feeling very distressed. Secondly, let's analyze the reasons for these problems. Your university life is very lonely, so you got a guinea pig as a pet to bring some joy into your life and prevent depression. But because your pet is somewhat unique, although guinea pigs are cute, your parents and friends might think it's dirty and not know how to care for it, which naturally leads them to feel some resistance towards it. I also understand your feelings of guilt and self-blame. You have taken care of it and it has accompanied you through difficult times, but now you feel trapped and believe that the only solution is to get rid of it, which makes you feel very dark. Lastly, my suggestions are: 1. Have a good conversation with your parents and friends. The reason your parents and friends are unwilling to help is very likely because they hold certain biases against your pet. I come from a rural area, and my impression of pigs is that they eat and sleep a lot, and the second impression is that they are dirty. Until a few years ago, I never thought of someone keeping it as a pet, and even now I haven't seen many people keeping it as a pet, so very few people have impressions of it and are unwilling to consider it a suitable pet. Therefore, I think you can have a good conversation with your family and friends, let them see the cute and adorable side of guinea pigs, and I believe this will simplify things. 2. Tell your parents how important it is to you. Your parents are not willing to help because one possible reason is that they find it troublesome, and another reason might be that they don't think this pet is important and not worth keeping. But you are very clear that this is not the case, so I think you can let your parents know why you want to keep this guinea pig and what it brings to you. I believe parents love their children very much and will understand you. 3. Offer some benefits. British Prime Minister Palmerston once said, \"There are no permanent friends, only permanent interests.\" This sentence reveals a truth: people are constantly comparing and choosing, in order to obtain the most beneficial results for themselves. Therefore, I think you can offer some tempting conditions to your friends to help take care of your guinea pig. However, be cautious not to give them all the benefits at once, in case they do not take good care of your guinea pig afterwards. Although we should believe in our friends, sometimes we still need to follow the old saying \"Never let down your guard against others.\" 4. Do your best and don't blame yourself too much. When I was young, I also liked to keep cats and dogs. The most memorable one was a big yellow dog that used to accompany me to school every day. Unfortunately, one day, when I wasn't paying attention, it was hit by a car and died. Since then, I realized that every pet I keep doesn't live long: they are either poisoned, bitten by snakes, hit by a car, or get lost. I always go from being happy to being sad, so now I dare not keep any pets. I'm afraid of goodbyes, really, sometimes it's difficult to give our pets a good future. I'm glad that you still have that enthusiasm for pets and a sense of responsibility towards them. But regardless of the outcome, don't be too sad. You have already done your best. Of course, you should focus on your work. If one day you have another pet, you can give it a warm home. Finally, I wish you all the best and a happy life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This is fine, OP, why don't you mail it to me? I'll take care of it for you, how about that? Haha... OP said they don't know what to do. Since returning to their hometown, they have encountered various troubles and want to get rid of it, but the thought of it being left out in the wild and certain death is unbearable. They regret why they raised it and now feel trapped in darkness. What should they do? From the description, it seems like OP is going out of town and can't take it with them. Family and friends are unwilling to take care of it, and it doesn't have the skills to survive in the wild. There is a high probability it will die, which makes OP feel guilty and afraid that they caused harm. Guilt arises from past actions that they believe were wrong and caused harm, leading to self-blame. To solve this problem, they can find someone who loves it and have them take care of it. Don't limit yourself to just friends, there may be others out there who also love it. What OP needs to do now is to make it public, to move from the private sphere to the public sphere, by disclosing their own pet to others and finding someone who also loves pet pigs. The public sphere is where we and others have knowledge, and its benefits lie in its significant influence and ability to build trust. So we should make good use of this area. Transfer part of the private sphere and blind spot sphere into the public sphere. The specific method is the same as what OP did by asking for advice on this platform, exposing their thoughts and needs as an example. OP can look for selling platforms like markets or online platforms to find a solution for their pet pig.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can sense the helplessness, frustration, and sadness in the words of the original poster. Let's summarize the information provided: About a year ago, the poster got a pet guinea pig whom they really liked. At that time, they were feeling very lonely in college, and having the pet made them feel like they weren't depressed. It seems that the presence of the pet added color to their otherwise lonely university life, and it's not just a pet for them but also a form of emotional companionship. Now that they have graduated, they have taken the pet back to their hometown. They are facing a dilemma as they need to go to another city, but their family doesn't allow them to bring the pet along. The poster once tried asking their friends for help but was rejected. Now they are going to another city and cannot take the pet with them. They wonder why they can't bring the pet along and mention that the pet's condition was bad the last time they tried having their family take care of it. They ask if they should have given their family some instructions before leaving the pet with them. The friends mentioned here, are they close friends? Personally, although I haven't owned a pet pig, I can imagine that taking care of animals requires a lot of effort and dedication. Perhaps to you, it's not just a pet, but to others like your family and friends, it really is just that\u2014an animal. Because of different perceptions, the way they take care of the pet will also differ, right? Since currently, you can't take the pet with you but don't want to abandon it, I suggest you consider temporarily placing it in a pet shop and asking professionals to take care of it. Once your situation stabilizes there, you can decide how to continue raising it. The world and I love you. Best wishes to you, Quiet Ting.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give OP a hug! They can understand OP's pain and discomfort. Even a small pet pig has brought a lot of joy and satisfaction to OP, just like a little companion, especially in their loneliest and most helpless moments. In OP's heart, its importance is no less than that of a family member. Getting rid of it is equivalent to \"abandoning\" a loved one, which naturally causes OP a lot of pain and distress. Now, OP cannot keep it because it is inconvenient, and neither their family nor their friends are willing to take care of it. Taking care of it also requires a certain financial foundation and environmental conditions. Therefore, OP can only send it away. They can post adoption information in WeChat groups, moments, QQ groups, or spaces, and see if someone is willing to adopt it. This way, they can find a suitable new home for it and also put OP's mind at ease.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for your trust and invitation to answer. I think every friend who has raised a pet has had this experience, that pets are not just pets to us. They have become our friends, the most genuine memories and emotions in our lives. Their presence has become so important, that they have already become a part of us. So if you want to get rid of them, it is definitely as painful as throwing away a close friend. Therefore, I suggest that you first find a pet shelter or rescue center to give them a proper placement. If you can't find one, you can post online or sell them to someone who needs them, so that they can have a good home. I think only then will you truly find peace of mind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15817
       },
       {
        "question": "33-year-old male, feels that sexual behavior is dirty and is unable to fully engage. What should he do?",
        "description": "33-year-old male, feels that sex is dirty and cannot accept sexual behavior, always feels that engaging in sexual activity will result in disease, especially afraid of contracting AIDS, even if he wears a condom, he still worries about it breaking, how to become fully engaged in sexual behavior?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsion, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From your description, I can see someone who is troubled and anxious due to sexual issues. **From a perspective of sexual development, the \"stigmatization\" of sex has been prevalent throughout human history, especially in patriarchal societies. For example: ++sex is dirty, ++sexual organs are dirty, ++sexual behavior is dirty, ++anything related to sex is bad, ++menstruation is bad, ++virginity is valued, non-virgins are impure, etc. However, upon closer examination, one would realize that these are all socially constructed beliefs. If sex is dirty, then it's quite funny that procreation requires sexual activity, isn't it? If sex is dirty, then the history of human sexuality and reproductive worship is quite laughable, isn't it?** Therefore, even in the 21st century, we still have the responsibility to redefine sex: @@sex is beautiful, @@sexual organs and other parts of the human body are equal and not dirty, they should not be stigmatized just because they are located below the waist, such as the penis and vagina; this is extremely harmful. @@Menstruation is not dirty, it is a natural part of a woman's physiology. @@Purity is not determined by virginity, but by a person's thoughts and soul. @@Sexual acts done with love are beautiful, including oral sex, kissing, etc., these are all normal behaviors.** Our sexuality and love only need to be based on the five principles of \"autonomy, respect, responsibility, health, and happiness\". ##If you engage in sex and love based on voluntary consent, it's okay; otherwise, it's not. ##If it's based on mutual respect, it's okay; if there is no mutual respect, then there is a problem with that sexual relationship. ##Both parties need to be responsible for each other and for themselves, if not, then don't do it. ##It needs to be conducted with the principles of health and hygiene, which involves being aware of diseases. ##Sex and love should bring happiness, if there is no happiness and it goes against the wishes of the partner, then obviously there is a problem.** Your anxiety comes from both your understanding of sex and love, as well as misconceptions about condoms, AIDS, etc.** I wish you well, and for your situation, I recommend seeking counseling for psychological development and adjustment (specifically regarding sexual psychology). \u03b5I am here, the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It seems that your situation involves an aversion and repulsion towards sex, but essentially, it is a dislike of your own sexuality. Feeling that your sexuality is dirty mainly stems from self-attack. There can be many reasons for this aggression, such as exposure to adult content during sexual education or family upbringing. You mentioned societal judgments and other factors in your environment. Saying that sex is dirty is actually saying that you are dirty, that you are not good, and that sex will ruin you. It is essentially believing that allowing yourself to be free will destroy you. From what I gather, you may also feel repressed in certain aspects of your daily life and restrict yourself. If you want to solve this issue, it is crucial to learn to accept yourself and see the real you. I have encountered some girls who have a repulsion towards sex, and they tend to believe that indulging in sex will turn them into promiscuous and bad people. However, once they truly understand themselves through analysis, they realize that they mostly think of themselves as bad people. They fear that freeing themselves will lead to negative outcomes and self-destruction. When they recognize this, they have already made significant progress in healing. Of course, they continue to work on resolving the issue. In your case, it is not really about contracting sexually transmitted diseases or being infected by others through sexual relations; it is about believing that engaging in sex will ruin and harm yourself. This belief has nothing to do with which person you have sex with. Even if you know it is impossible to contract a disease, you still have these concerns because they originate from within yourself. So, I ask you, are you really that bad? Are you truly such an awful person? I believe not. Sometimes, we perceive ourselves as bad people through self-attacking thoughts and end up behaving poorly. If I believe I am a bad person, I cannot display my goodness. Instead, I exhibit my perceived badness and truly become a bad person. In such situations, we need to transcend our current perceptions and adopt a more macroscopic view of ourselves. Then, we will see a truly beautiful version of ourselves. I sincerely hope that you can break free from your current situation and enjoy a fulfilling and happy sexual life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In such a culture where discussing sex is considered taboo, please allow me to bravely advocate for sex in this somewhat public setting. Sex is instinctual. It predates civilization, culture, language, and words. Without exaggeration, the longevity and abundance of life on Earth owe much to sex. As spring arrives, vibrant flowers compete to bloom, creating a magnificent display. Busy bees and butterflies flutter among the colorful stamen and pistil, engaging in the solemn ceremony of pollination. It is truly a grand feast, driven by the instinct for survival, where flowers go to great lengths to attract pollinators solely for the purpose of reproduction, not for showiness. Similar events occur in the animal kingdom. Through colors, appearances, sounds, scents, and displays of strength, individuals of different sexes attract one another, and through sex, genetic variations are achieved, allowing for the continuation of life and the perpetuation of the species. Humans are the most intelligent beings. With the development of civilization and societal progress, sex has, to a certain extent, been endowed with special meanings. Sex has certainly departed from the primitive and rough nature and has somewhat acquired the modesty associated with worldly civilization. However, this contradicts the true nature of human beings. Sex, just like eating, is an instinctual function. Sex is instinctual, and it is the essential attribute of being human. It should not be a source of shame. I want to emphasize once more that sex is instinctual, pure, and beautiful. It is flourishing and should not be a source of shame. However, when it comes to sex, the secrecy, morality, and sense of shame surrounding it may require personal growth through counseling. Hello, I am here, the world loves you and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "A 33-year-old man feels that sex is dirty and cannot accept sexual intercourse. He always believes that engaging in sexual activities will lead to diseases, especially the fear of getting AIDS. Even if he wears a condom, he worries that it will break. He cannot fully engage in sexual activities. What should he do? Your situation is not uncommon in clinical psychology. Feeling that sex is dirty, fearing the contraction of diseases, and being afraid of AIDS despite using a condom are some obsessive characteristics commonly seen in individuals with obsessive-compulsive personality traits. Some other clinically significant aspects may exist, but we won't speculate randomly. These are some characteristics with obsessive traits such as: 1. Obsession with cleanliness: could be psychological or practical. 2. Insecurity underlying sexual impulses, manifesting as fear of contracting STDs or AIDS. 3. Psychological conflict: the presence of both compulsive and counter-compulsive tendencies, which are not clearly described in this case. 4. Are there any ritualistic behaviors? It's unknown. So what can you do about it? If you want to make adjustments on your own, try the following methods: 1. Pay attention to your emotions: fear? Confusion? 2. Distinguish whether your fears are based on factual grounds: Your fears are mostly unsubstantiated, they are just thoughts, catastrophizing thoughts. 3. Bring yourself back to the senses of touch, smell, and sight. 4. Recommend reading the book \"How Can I Stop?\" Wishing you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in regards to this issue, it is important to understand why you perceive sexual matters as dirty. Do you feel that love and sexuality should not be connected in your mind? To address a problem, you must first accept its existence and confront it, in order to identify its flaws and work on correcting them. My answer may seem vague and is only for reference. I apologize if there are any inappropriate parts. Thank you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The questioner probably hasn't found someone they genuinely like. When you find someone you genuinely like, you can't wait to be intimate with them. If you frequently get checked and use condoms, you can avoid most sexually transmitted diseases. If you take all necessary precautions, the chances of getting an STD are small. Finally, for the questioner, it is rare for an STD to be fatal, and doctors can help you. STDs can also be treated.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12612
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like I have become very indifferent in the past two years, but I don't know the reason behind it.",
        "description": "In the past, being praised made me happy, and being criticized made me sad. I longed to be loved, and I loved the people I loved. I always wanted to gain and feared losing. Overall, I was someone who experienced joy and sorrow. In the past two years, I have gradually become someone who doesn't experience much joy or sorrow, and I have become apathetic. No matter what big or small events I encounter, good or bad, my mood is like still water with no ripples. Although this change has made me live more freely, no longer easily influenced by the outside world, I have also become a lonely person.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expressing emotions.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Sending you a warm hug. From your description, I understand that you have experienced some emotional changes recently and are not sure why you have become colder and more indifferent towards things than before. I would like to ask you: did you feel that your emotions regarding praise, expectations, and the desire to be loved were well satisfied in the past? Or were these expectations always in an unsatisfied state? On the other hand, we can also think about whether anything special has happened in the past two years that has caused our emotions and attitudes towards things to change. However, the most important thing is our attitude towards the current changes: there is no answer as to whether it is better to approach things with enthusiasm and expectations or to become calm and indifferent. What matters is what kind of person and state we want to become, what makes us more comfortable. Adjust your mindset, and after determining your own inner expectations, let's reassess our current state.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11192
       },
       {
        "question": "20-year-old male, he feels nauseous when he gets nervous. How can he face situations with confidence?",
        "description": "I am a student who repeated a year. When I was in my final year of high school, I experienced exam anxiety and would have slight nausea. In my final year, the pressure increased, and I would experience nausea whenever I had an exam. During the period leading up to the college entrance examination, it became more severe, to the point where even small tests would make me nauseous (drinking water would temporarily alleviate the symptoms). In college, as I participated in more activities, the habit of feeling nauseous when faced with new situations from high school continued. Now, every time I go out, I have to carry a bottle of mineral water, which has greatly affected my daily life. I really don't know how to deal with it. I would like to ask if there are any medications that can alleviate this nausea???",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, treatment methods, mental disorders.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. I read your description and I can imagine how uncomfortable you feel. I can also understand your nervousness and anxiety at that time. Boldly guessing, it seems that you had high expectations for the event and hoped that your performance would be recognized by others. As a result, you were very concerned about it. The more you care, the more nervous you become, the more pressure you feel, and the more you want to escape. But you know that you can't really escape, so your body (dry heaving) helps you express your emotions - to say what you can't say. What can you do? I'm not a doctor, so I can't give advice on medication. But from a psychological perspective, let's see if there are some actions you can try: 1. Lower your expectations and participate in exams or activities with a calm mind. Occasionally showing imperfections does not mean that you are not capable or not trying hard enough. Perhaps it is an opportunity to understand yourself and improve yourself. No matter how things develop, you are always the best. Because you are strong, hardworking, and brave... 2. When you feel nervous and anxious, try relaxing more. Take deep breaths, relax your body (I often use the method of tightly clenching my fists and slowly releasing them, stretching my palms back and forth a few times). If you experience dry heaving again, don't reject it or blame yourself for this behavior. Tell yourself: \"Darling, I know you have something to express, I know you are a bit anxious, I know you care about your performance. No matter what, I will face it with you.\" 3. Believe in yourself, you are capable of handling both emotions and situations. You see, when you have emotions, your body reacts and you can sense your nervousness and anxiety. You will think about drinking water to relieve the tension. This means you have thoughts, attempts, and actions. Can we think of other ways to relieve tension besides just this one? I believe you can come up with them, and I believe you are willing to try more. Sometimes, the body's reaction is trying to express some emotions, trying to tell us something. Strengthening the connection with our bodies is also a good way to understand ourselves. Of course, if your physical discomfort is severe, seeing a doctor is necessary.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Nervousness can cause dry heaving, which appears to be a psychosomatic illness, a physical illness caused by psychological factors. Often, we tend to see problems from only one perspective, but in fact, there are many factors that support this symptom and contribute to its stubbornness. Don't be afraid. How to gain self-confidence is a big topic that requires solving the underlying factors causing the nervousness. Analyzing and understanding the problem: 1. You are a student who repeated a year, and in your senior year of high school, you became very nervous during exams and had mild dry heaving. In your senior year, as the pressure increased, you started experiencing dry heaving whenever there was an exam. It became more severe during the period leading up to the college entrance examination, and even small quizzes would cause dry heaving (drinking water can temporarily relax you). (Exam nervousness can be categorized into several situations: a) pressure from parents' expectations; b) pressure from comparing yourself to peers; c) pressure from the exam-oriented education system, including pressure from teachers and schools, and so on. When a person is in an extremely nervous state, their physiological functions rapidly decline, and their immune system also rapidly decreases. At this time, the stress-induced energy is directed towards different organs in the body, leading to the occurrence of symptoms. Because there is a way for symptoms to occur, the next time you encounter a similar problem, it will automatically jump into this pattern. For example, \"being nervous about an exam, previously experienced dry heaving, so next time it will continue to happen,\" and so on. The reason for experiencing dry heaving during small quizzes is a manifestation of \"generalization of the problem.\" When drinking water, the process of water passing through the mouth, throat, and gastrointestinal tract is a way to relieve nervousness because water is gentle, and at that moment, your focus shifts to the water, allowing you to temporarily relax. This is a good method, but it only addresses the symptoms and not the root cause.) 2. In college, as you participated in more activities, the habit of getting dry heaving when faced with challenges during high school has continued. Now, whenever you participate in new activities, you experience dry heaving, which has caused you to carry a bottle of mineral water whenever you go out, severely impacting your daily life. (Yes, the problem has not been solved. Perhaps if you carefully think about it, this problem may also affect other aspects of your life. \"New activities\" give you a sense of stress and uncertainty, which is a feeling you are familiar with from high school. Perhaps the specific circumstances have changed, but that anxious feeling remains. Carrying mineral water is not a big deal, so you shouldn't overthink it, but my concern is whether this problem will continue to generalize to other things in the future? This is the key to the problem and the reason why you need to address the root cause.) 3. I really don't know how to deal with it now. Are there any medications that can alleviate dry heaving??? (First of all, this is a physical symptom caused by psychological factors. We need to use psychological medicine for mental illness. Secondly, as psychological counselors, we have strict ethical regulations and cannot provide medication or prescribe drugs to visitors. Personally, my advice is, if you still want to use medication for treatment, go to a proper hospital to seek advice. However, it would be best to find a suitable psychotherapist, as they are the key factor in solving this problem.) Closing remarks: I wish you happiness and joy! I hope you soon overcome the influence of this psychological issue! If you have any confusion, feel free to send a private message!",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! Thank you for inviting me to answer your question. I hope my thoughts can help you to some extent. After reading your description, I have understood your question to a certain degree, and thus, I want to give you a virtual hug. From your description, I can feel that you are under a lot of pressure, possibly due to exams or high expectations from teachers and parents. This has led you to develop a defense mechanism, which you mentioned as dry heaving. The so-called defense mechanism is used to avoid dangers, anxiety, and unpleasant feelings caused by instinctive needs. It is a function to adjust the conflict between the id and external reality. To some extent, defense mechanisms can protect us from certain harms and help us avoid painful situations. However, when defense mechanisms are excessive, they can have an impact on our physical and mental well-being. In fact, when you were in your final year of high school, you would get nervous and have dry heaving during exams. This indicates that you were under a lot of pressure, and this pressure has not been released properly, so your body has started to manifest illness in another way, which you mentioned as dry heaving. Perhaps at first, you thought it would only last for a while, but over time, every time you have an exam, you feel nervous and have dry heaving. In behaviorism, it can be explained that the presence of a stimulus (exams) leads to the development of a certain behavior (dry heaving), and this phenomenon is continuously reinforced, gradually forming this behavior. Now, this behavior has even generalized to other aspects, as you mentioned that participating in new activities also triggers dry heaving. This suggests that your current situation is quite serious, which is why you seek help on social platforms. The so-called generalization refers to when a certain response forms a conditional association with a specific stimulus, this response will also form a certain degree of conditional association with similar stimuli. Based on this, I have summarized some methods to help alleviate your current situation. (1) If conditions allow, seek professional help, such as consulting a psychologist or a doctor at a hospital, as they will use more professional methods to help you overcome the current situation. (2) Try to reduce stress because excessive stress is not conducive to physical and mental health. Therefore, it is especially important to release stress through exercise or other means. (3) Talk to close friends or family members about your thoughts and further release your emotions. Don't keep too many things bottled up inside because if you hold it in for too long, you will break down. (4) Strengthen your ability to cope with setbacks and learn to encourage yourself from within, don't be too afraid of new things. (5) Don't put too much pressure on yourself, learn to relax, and even if there are many difficulties, there are always ways to solve them. The world and I love you. Good wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In the above description, I see that you feel very anxious when encountering certain things, and this anxiety can lead to the occurrence of minor symptoms such as dry heaving. I imagine that this situation must be very distressing for you. However, I would like to invite you to change your perspective on this matter. When you feel anxious and experience dry heaving, does your attention shift slightly from the thing that is making you anxious to yourself? Perhaps this so-called \"symptom\" is actually your body's way of protecting and alleviating the feeling of anxiety. It is quite normal to feel anxious and uncertain when faced with something new and uncertain. Anxiety can easily affect our performance, and it is not uncommon to worry that our anxiety will hinder our performance and make us even more anxious. Your dry heaving may actually redirect your attention away from worrying about anxiety and bring it back to yourself in the present moment. However, it is certainly very distressing to experience symptoms like dry heaving. As mentioned before, dry heaving may be a way for you to bring your attention back to yourself. So, the next time you encounter something that makes you anxious, you can try actively focusing on your own anxiety. Tell yourself that you are facing something new, a new challenge, and it is normal to feel a little anxious. When feeling anxious, take some deep breaths. Perhaps when you consciously acknowledge your own anxiety, the \"symptom\" of dry heaving will gradually lose its significance and start to change. Would you be willing to try something new?",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand the anxiety that the OP, as a freshman, feels about the nervous habits brought from high school. First, it should be clarified that this kind of nausea caused by nervousness is not a physiological illness and it is not recommended to use medication to alleviate it. Resolving the psychological causes of this nausea is the fundamental approach. From the OP's account, the nausea that occurs when they feel nervous started during their senior year of high school, indicating that the initial cause of this nausea was the pressure of entering university. Due to the desire for further education and lack of confidence in their own grades, a conflict was formed within them. They wanted to work hard to achieve a certain result but were afraid that they couldn't. In order to alleviate the discomfort caused by this internal conflict, their body manifested symptoms of nausea. As an OP who has already entered college, these physical symptoms caused by the pressure of further education have not only not disappeared but have even worsened in some aspects. Now, they experience nausea whenever they participate in new activities. This indicates that the OP has entered a vicious cycle where physical symptoms caused by psychological reasons exacerbate their mental burden. Therefore, what the OP needs to do now is to break this vicious cycle. Firstly, the OP needs to recognize that this nausea is due to their high expectations for a certain matter, which have turned into pressure. Nausea is the body's response to this pressure. Therefore, the focus should not be on eliminating the symptoms of nausea, but on strengthening the ability to withstand pressure. This can be done in two ways: first, by enhancing resilience to pressure, and second, by correctly understanding the pressure that a matter brings and not making a big deal out of everything. Enhancing resilience to pressure is most effectively achieved by boosting self-confidence. When we have a comprehensive understanding of ourselves and affirm ourselves in all aspects, it is difficult for a single event to exert significant pressure on us, as deep down we firmly believe that failure in one aspect does not mean failure as a whole person. Therefore, the OP can start from here. For example, list their strengths, even the smallest ones, and don't miss a single one. Engage in activities they are best at and are interested in, and strive for success. Accomplish tasks that require little effort but can bring success, especially in terms of helping others. Respect, appreciate, and praise others. By self-motivation, self-acknowledgment, as well as motivation and acknowledgment from others, they can gain self-confidence. Have self-confidence at all times and use inner language to motivate themselves, such as \"I'm great,\" \"I'm doing well,\" \"People like me.\" Have a correct understanding of every matter we encounter. In a person's life journey, they will encounter countless events. No one can guarantee that they can handle every event perfectly. The failure of one event does not mean failure in the entire life. Therefore, do not force oneself to make everything perfect. This is a standard that no one can reach. The saying goes \"there is no perfect gold, and no perfect person.\" Accept that one is not perfect and appropriately lower standards and expectations, which may actually help one reach a higher level. Even if the symptoms of nausea do not immediately disappear, it's okay. Do not consciously think about the nausea, accept it with a calm mindset, and say to oneself, \"It's just nausea, there's nothing serious about it!\" In other words, treat oneself, who experiences nausea when faced with something, with equanimity, and don't see it as a big deal, just like dealing with changes in weather\u2014adapt to nature, say and do what needs to be done, and persist in doing what one should and can do well. Over time, when the OP notices nausea again, they will likely find that at some point unknown to them, the symptoms of nausea have completely disappeared. The above suggestions are hoped to be helpful to the OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know what kind of state you're referring to when you say \"nervous\". In your family, do you occasionally feel nervous with your parents or other relatives? Do you feel nauseous when you are with your best friend and feeling nervous? Or do you feel nauseous when you are with other classmates and feeling nervous? Or are there times when you feel nervous but don't feel nauseous? When do you start feeling nauseous when you're nervous? Please try to record the scene before you feel nauseous, who was present, where were you, or any situations when you feel nervous but don't feel nauseous. This way, we can first identify some possible causes for your nausea and find the appropriate solutions. Of course, you can also try some behavioral training to practice being confident when facing nervousness, gradually overcoming it. In fact, the opposite of nervousness is relaxation. You can try some relaxation exercises that can help you relax quickly, even in a short period of time and anywhere. You can search on Baidu for many relaxation techniques to practice. It's normal for a 20-year-old young man who has just come of age to have limited social experience and feel nervous in certain situations. As you grow older and gain more experience and knowledge, this state will gradually diminish, and you will become more confident.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In my personal opinion, perhaps you don't take your nausea seriously, thinking that you should be nervous for exams and that nausea is a normal response. If you get used to this kind of thinking after a few times, maybe your nausea will decrease. Also, you should know one thing, are students still afraid of exams? For students, exams are just like eating, don't you think? Think carefully, what can I do when it's exam time? Even if I get nervous, what can I do? Although nausea is uncomfortable, just vomit if you need to, and it will be alright afterwards. Exams are the same, once they are over, you'll feel relieved and no longer anxious.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4503
       },
       {
        "question": "There seems to be something strange in my relationship with my boyfriend. Is it him who is repressing or is it me? It feels like our relationship has hit a wall.",
        "description": "The relationship with my boyfriend seems quite strange. I don't know if it's him suppressing his emotions or if it's me. We often feel like our relationship is stagnant and only get better after an argument. He loves posting on social media, seeking recognition and attention. When I ask why he doesn't reach out to me, he says I can reach out to him. I get angry and express my frustration before he makes time to chat with me. If he's not happy, I'm not happy either. If I bring up breaking up, he will try to salvage the relationship and ask if there's something wrong with him. But if we don't break up, our relationship feels suffocating. Over time, I also realize that I'm not actually happy when he does reach out and I don't know what to talk about. We are in a long-distance relationship and he is often busy with other things, not physically there. Sometimes I even feel reluctant to have him around me, thinking that he seems burdened with too many things and not truly happy. Do I not love him? But when he gets upset, I unconsciously want to comfort him and hesitate to break up because I don't want to hurt him. He believes he needs to have some money before we can get married. We hardly ever see each other and communication is scarce. He is a typical straight guy, only focusing on work. Apart from initially finding him somewhat attractive, I feel like he has no other qualities. The entire relationship up until now has been particularly awkward. I can't pinpoint what's wrong, it feels like I'm being tormented. I don't have any specific expectations from him. Maybe I just need a relationship? Or is it that all relationships eventually become tasteless?",
        "keywords": "Love, dependency and attachment, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it's nice to have the opportunity to answer your question. In the process of being in a long-distance relationship, due to the distance issue, the chances of contact between you will also decrease, and both of you will live your own lives with very little overlap. I think only genuine feelings will bring you a sense of security, and learning to be independent is also important. In the \"Law of Mutual Attraction in Love\", the more you provide pleasant experiences, happiness, and social assistance to your partner, the stronger your attractiveness will be. On the contrary, if you frequently argue with him and do not make efforts to maintain the relationship, your attractiveness will decrease. However, if you can't communicate with each other, and it's like a cold war, even though you know the other person exists, they are just a presence, a title. If you can't resolve the grievances you suffer in a timely manner, the possibility of a relationship crisis will greatly increase. If you don't know how to chat, learn to share each other's lives and let the other person know what you are both doing. Even if there is distance, you can feel like your time is synced. When he talks about a topic, you can join in, you are familiar with his friends, and he knows about your life. This approach can make the other person feel at ease and increase the communication in the relationship. Sometimes it's not that the other person doesn't love you anymore, but rather the factors that attract each other have diminished. So, communication can solve this problem. You don't not love him, you just need to learn to adapt. From being familiar to becoming strangers, and from strangers to becoming familiar, what we need is time. If you can't bear to break up, it's because you still love him. Even if he wants to get rich before getting married again, it shows that he is a responsible person, and you are already part of his future plans. Of course, he wants to offer you a better life. We also need understanding and acceptance, and we will eventually be together, going through life together. All relationships are not tasteless because you have experienced a lot together and have many beautiful memories. It's just a test of time now, to see if you can hold on. You must have confidence in yourself and in him. Keep going and good luck! I hope my answer is helpful to you, wishing you all the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "#Maybe I just need a relationship? Or is it that all relationships ultimately become meaningless?# This sentence is quite interesting, you may really just need a relationship. The other person may be the same as you. Maybe both you and him are relatively suitable choices in the current situation. In your description, the relationship of \"friends\" is not mentioned. I assume that if your friends see you in such a relationship, they would probably advise you to break up and introduce male friends around you, or ask you to go on blind dates, right? That's how I understand it. But I don't know what your true situation is like. #Or is it that all relationships ultimately become meaningless# Assuming you do need a relationship, but you need to find a suitable reason to maintain a relationship, the latter sentence is a very appropriate \"reason\". Because you described so much before, it's just discussing that your relationship with your current boyfriend is average, tasteless, and dull. Do you really want to get married? Or do you not want to get married and just need a partner to accompany you? And it seems that you don't have the general anxiety of women about getting married, so I'm more inclined to think that you may need a relationship. Shall we talk about it?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, first of all, I understand and empathize with your situation. I want to give you a big hug and let you feel the warmth of the world. I can actually understand your feelings and predicament. Right now, you and your boyfriend are not breaking up, but you are also not staying together. It's a very awkward situation, stuck in a dilemma, wanting to find an outlet to vent. Maybe that way, you will feel a little better. I think the biggest problem between you two may be that the busyness and hustle of life has worn off the initial love. The last trace of warmth in your relationship has disappeared. Because many love stories start with passion and gradually become mundane, but not to the point of extinguishing. Only when life becomes stagnant, many trivial matters happen within the love relationship, and that's when the relationship may be in crisis. And now, the problem between you two is that the freshness in that love is gone, and what's worse is the long-distance issue, which prevents you from frequently meeting and giving each other a little surprise. Don't say that even with a relationship where you see each other every day, there will still be times when you want to ignore each other and situations where you have nothing to talk about, let alone a long-distance relationship. So, in order to maintain a relationship and bring it back to its initial state, both of you need to work on it together. For example, creating small surprises and giving small gifts during holidays. That will make the other person very happy. If you always argue when you meet, maybe, only comforting each other when angry, then the relationship might seem feeble. So, if you want to save this relationship or if you don't want to continue this stalemate, the best solution is for both of you to communicate and express what you really think. Instead of always being in this tense relationship, it is best for you to often stay in an environment where there is no expectation or freshness. I believe nobody wants a stagnant life and relationship. As human beings, we have subjectivity and can create many unexpected things. Therefore, you can communicate and perhaps revisit the places you have been to, watch the movies you watched, and relive all the experiences you had together. That will make the love rekindle its previous beauty. Wishing you happiness and joy, OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5263
       },
       {
        "question": "Lately, I always feel like the world doesn't really exist, and in reality, everyone is just virtual.",
        "description": "Lately, I have constantly felt that the world doesn't really exist, and have been having fantasies about the entire world and even the universe, as well as the origin of humanity, and so on. It feels as if we ourselves are just creations or merely playing a role in this world.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "What exists and what does not exist is a philosophical question. It is not easy to find undisputed reasons for what exists and what does not exist. It is normal to feel confused and have some fantasies and strange feelings about this cognitively. It would be nice if, after meals and in leisure time, there was a chance to experience this feeling or engage in some thinking - that's what the ancient Greeks (of course, their aristocracy) used to do. However, our society now lacks that kind of culture - each person has let the idea of being well-fed occupy too much of their spiritual world.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19967
       },
       {
        "question": "Seemingly extravagant, but in reality, it hurts every time I spend money. What could be the reason for this?",
        "description": "I just feel reluctant to spend money on myself, there are plenty of good things but I can't find anything suitable for myself.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The questioner's question is a bit vague, and we need to clarify first: 1. The questioner is someone who cares a lot about money and feels a lot of pain whenever they spend money, but they still behave extravagantly. They are confused about themselves and hope someone can help answer this confusion. 2. The questioner sees a lot of good things in life but feels that they are not suitable for themselves. They believe that they cannot bring themselves to spend money on these things and feel that this is not right, but they cannot resolve it. Let's first look at the first issue, the extravagant spending behavior: There are two possibilities: 1. They genuinely spend a lot, buying things that they believe have little practical value, such as buying expensive luxury handbags or clothes that far exceed their income level, or buying items that are not used much at home. Or, when eating or traveling with classmates, friends, or others, they always play the role of a big spender, deliberately paying for meals or buying things they don't actually need or want in front of others. 2. They spend money within a normal range, such as comparing their spending with classmates, friends, or colleagues and finding that their spending is average. Even compared to their income (or living expenses), it is still within an affordable range. However, they feel that they shouldn't be spending so much and that there are things they shouldn't buy, so they feel guilty. If it is the first possibility, then it is necessary to regulate their spending behavior. However, the premise of this regulation is to first understand the reasons and motivations behind their overspending or excessive consumption. Is it because they are worried about being looked down upon by others or because they simply cannot control their desire to purchase and consume? If they are concerned about how others perceive them, it means their self-esteem or self-inferiority complex is influencing them. The questioner needs to explore why they have developed this pattern, especially since it has caused them distress (feeling guilty after spending money). The motivations behind the same behavior can be different, so naturally, the solutions will also be different. It is impossible to make further suggestions without knowing the specific circumstances, so I cannot provide any further advice. If they can't control their desire to purchase and consume, it may be because they are using this behavior as compensation for some unmet needs or desires from their past. They use purchasing and consuming as a way to compensate, and this form of compensation also carries a punishment element that causes them pain. What are they compensating for? Perhaps the questioner already has their own answer. Now let's look at the second possibility. Personally, I think the questioner is more likely to fall into the second possibility because based on their question, they hesitate to spend money on themselves and buy nice things. They feel guilty about spending money when in fact, they are not excessively extravagant. They simply think they are spending beyond their own acceptable limits, feeling guilty about buying things they shouldn't buy. Why can't they bring themselves to buy nice things for themselves, especially when their finances allow for it? Do they feel they don't deserve to have nice things? Do they believe that if they have these nice things, they won't be considered a good child, student, employee, or spouse (or husband, sorry, I don't know your gender or current occupation)? If they are not a good child, good student, good employee, or good partner, who will like them? Who will abandon them? What will be the consequences of being abandoned or not being liked by that person? Will it create a crisis of being destroyed? I just happened to read a book by Mr. Hayao Kawai, and there is an explanation of this type of situation. I am not sure if it applies to the questioner's situation, but I think it provides some valuable insights. Mr. Kawai says, \"In a child's eyes, their world with their parents (especially their mother) is absolute. Once another person (their younger sibling) enters, their world is destroyed, and they need to readjust their worldview.\" Many children will adjust themselves to become \"good children\" who don't spend recklessly, study seriously, take care of their younger siblings, show manners, be considerate of their parents, as if they suddenly become mature and responsible. Such children are more likely to receive recognition and appreciation from their parents who already have a second child, and this recognition and appreciation mean that they won't be abandoned. (Of course, these are my own words, not a direct quote from the book). Which situation does the questioner belong to? Perhaps only they know the answer. If they find self-exploration painful, I suggest seeking help from a professional counselor to explore together.",
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            "start": 1057,
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            "start": 1132,
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        ],
        "questionID": 9300
       },
       {
        "question": "43-year-old unmarried man, recently diagnosed with a illness, feeling low in mood, what should I do?",
        "description": "My boyfriend is 43 years old and unmarried. Last month, he was diagnosed with coronary heart disease and has been feeling very down. A few days ago, he was also diagnosed with mild anxiety and started taking anti-anxiety medication (Yinuosi, he showed me a picture of it). His mood is very unstable, and we haven't seen each other for two weeks. We also rarely chat on WeChat. How should I comfort him? I bought him a book called \"I Am Truly Amazing\" and send him customized mood messages. He says he can handle it himself, but his mood fluctuates and he has trouble sleeping. What should I do? Thank you, everyone.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, methods of treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, since your boyfriend has been diagnosed with mild anxiety and is currently undergoing medication treatment, the most important thing at the moment is to actively cooperate with the doctor's treatment and take the medication on time. You have bought him books and customized mood messages, but I think that this kind of encouraging and inspirational books may have limited help to him. When his emotions are unstable and he feels down, I think what he needs most is not encouragement and motivation, but understanding and acceptance. If only encouragement is given, he may feel that it is not good or allowed to have low moods. In psychological counseling, there is a principle of \"acceptance without pursuit.\" Even the best counselor cannot have much effect if the person themselves does not have the desire for help. The same principle applies when we try to comfort and advise others. We should respect their personal wishes and not force them. So, if your boyfriend expresses that he is not in a good mood, there is no need to force yourself to comfort and advise him. You can allow him to be quiet. If he says he can regulate himself, you can choose to respect his choice. Your boyfriend has his own problems to face, such as heart disease and anxiety disorder. If he actively seeks your help and wants to confide in you, then patiently listen to him. If not, then you can enjoy your own life. Besides your boyfriend, you should also have your own life, don't you? Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-)",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation. It is evident that you are very concerned about your boyfriend. I genuinely hope that he will get better. What I want to say is that his emotional anxiety and physical ailment (coronary heart disease) may be interrelated, as coronary heart disease can lead to emotional depression and anxiety. In this case, giving him confidence and companionship should be very helpful for his recovery. Encouraging him to take his medication on time and occasionally checking in on him may be the most important thing for him. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I can understand the concern of the questioner. You mentioned that your boyfriend's emotions are very unstable, and you haven't seen each other for two weeks. I suggest you spend more time with him, care for him, and accompany him. Take him out for a walk, and try to persuade him to seek psychological counseling. If he is unwilling to go, respect his decision. The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself first and then support and accompany him through this difficult time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12361
       },
       {
        "question": "I used to have schizophrenia, but now I am preparing to stop taking medication. Will a girl accept that?",
        "description": "Now, taking medication is similar to a normal person's routine and I am almost ready to stop it. But no matter what, I will definitely disclose it before getting married.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You used to have schizophrenia, but now you are almost like a normal person. You are preparing to stop taking medication, intending to find a girlfriend or even get married, but you are worried that girls may not accept you. Whether you have had an illness or not, there will always be some people who cannot accept you, and there will always be some people who can. Nowadays, many guys have trouble finding girlfriends, which is a complex social issue, not just a personal problem. Some people do indeed harbor fears and prejudices towards mental illnesses, and as patients or family members, they often experience shame and insecurity. However, these phenomena are gradually changing with the development of medicine and people's awareness. Now, the majority of mental illness patients, after receiving proper treatment, can lead normal lives. You can absolutely pursue the life you desire, but inevitably, you may encounter setbacks. No one's life is always smooth sailing, and relationships, including dating and marriage, are inherently prone to obstacles. Stay calm, be brave in pursuing your goals, and go with the flow.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the title holder. I used to suffer from schizophrenia, but now I am preparing to stop taking medication. Whether a woman can accept it or not, I think it varies from person to person and there is no definite answer. Some women have a strong sense of tolerance for various issues and will not care too much as long as they like someone; while others may be concerned about certain aspects such as money, physical health, or mental health. So, no matter what, I think it is right to inform the other person before marriage. I think it can be done earlier, after a certain emotional foundation has been established in the early stages of the relationship. Those who can accept it will naturally stay, and those who cannot accept it will not waste each other's time. This is a form of respect for the other person and for oneself. You are now preparing to stop taking medication. Is that the doctor's advice? Although you can maintain normality by taking medication now, it is important to listen to the doctor's advice on whether to stop medication. Do not stop taking medication without consulting a doctor as it may cause a relapse of the condition. Even if the doctor advises stopping medication, it is best to have regular check-ups to monitor your mental state. If you notice any abnormalities, it is important to see a doctor promptly. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, thank you for your trust in allowing me to respond to your question, and give you a hug. Please also give a hug to your injured self. You have schizophrenia and are currently taking medication. If that is the doctor's recommendation, it means you are in the process of recovery. I hope you will receive proper treatment and remember to take your medication on time. When discontinuing the medication, it is also important to follow the prescribed procedures to monitor your own condition. If possible, you should also undergo some rehabilitation psychological therapy. As for whether a girl can accept it, everyone is different. It is best to be honest about your true condition from the beginning to the other person, without hiding anything. This is not only responsible to yourself but also respects the other person's thoughts. Don't force yourself or others. Those who can accept it will naturally accept it, and those who cannot accept it should allow the other person not to accept it. Psychological therapy is a long process that requires gradual progress. I believe you can overcome difficulties. When you truly recover and heal yourself, I believe you will also find your own happiness. I wish you good health and happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Since you are preparing to stop taking medication, it means that you have already trended towards stability, which is no different from a normal person. Please have more confidence in yourself, you are a person who deserves to love and be loved. Just like what you said, you will definitely inform your partner before marriage. Marrying someone is mainly based on the accumulation of mutual feelings and the alignment of attitudes towards life. So, as someone who has once suffered from an illness but has now recovered, of course you are qualified to enjoy love, right? Of course, in the future, you should pay more attention to your mental state, make timely adjustments and preventive measures, and believe in yourself. You will have your own love story. Keep it up!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14154
       },
       {
        "question": "Vocational college graduates often feel uneasy about their employment prospects. It is regrettable that they have to decide whether it is better to pursue further education or focus on finding a job.",
        "description": "I am currently studying at a vocational college, majoring in the food industry. I feel uncertain about finding a good job in this field. I searched on Baidu and it seems like I can take the elementary school teacher qualification exam. I plan to prepare for it. I also want to further my studies and obtain a bachelor's degree, but I'm not sure if my parents will support me. I was born in 1999, so pursuing a bachelor's degree will require an additional two years of study. I'm about to enter my sophomore year, so if I add two years, I still have three years to go. I also don't know if I can pass the exams for further studies. I feel regretful that my previous exam results have not been satisfactory. I really want to make up for it. I may not be smart, but I am willing to work hard. That's how I plan things. I don't have a detailed plan, only a rough one.",
        "keywords": "Growth, developmental patterns, work, studies, student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Remember one thing, if you are eligible for further education, prioritize further education because you will find that after further education, you will have better job opportunities. Even if you fail in further education, you can still choose employment. The two are not contradictory. Since the questioner is about to enter their sophomore year, here is my personal opinion: first, apply for a self-study undergraduate program, choose a humanities major with fewer courses, and try to exempt as many subjects as possible (such as management or Chinese language). In the sophomore year, only take four professional courses each semester and no need to take general courses (unless there is an on-the-spot exam that day). In the junior year, temporarily stop taking self-study courses and focus on studying for the regular undergraduate program. Once you pass the regular program, continue with the self-study courses while completing the regular program, or apply for exemptions. (How about a dual degree?) If you fail, you can directly enter the workforce, but you can still complete the self-study undergraduate program, which will allow you to make another choice after graduating with a bachelor's degree (whether to continue working at your current workplace or find a new job with a bachelor's degree). If the questioner is studying in Hubei or Tibet, it may not be possible to study for an associate degree and take the undergraduate program at the same time, but that's okay. As long as you focus on studying for the regular program in the junior year and pass, you can switch to employment if you fail. Choose a job that allows for more free time and study for a teaching qualification in your free time (it is recommended to choose primary school subjects). As for the questioner's desire to obtain a teaching qualification certificate, my suggestion is that if you succeed in further education (even if you only graduate with a self-study undergraduate degree), you can go for the high school teaching qualification certificate. If further education is completely unsuccessful (e.g., failed subjects in the self-study program or unable to pass the regular program), it is better to find a job with fewer working hours after graduation, sign a tripartite agreement, and prepare for the primary school teaching certificate in your free time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can give you some help. I believe that for you and your classmates who have been in a similar situation, this is indeed a difficult decision to make. But a good point is that you have seriously analyzed and considered your future. First of all, nobody's life is without regrets. I also regret not having worked harder before, \"If only I had tried harder!\" I guess that's something everyone has thought about. But there is no regret medicine in the world. Since everything is already set, we can only accept it and work hard to make the future better. You want to take the teacher qualification exam and pursue a bachelor's degree. I believe you have listened to the voice inside you, so go ahead and give it a try. I think it's possible to do both, even though there will be many difficulties on this path. If you're worried about your parents' thoughts, then talk to them. Don't just dwell on your worries. It's no use worrying without taking action. I think your parents will understand and support your decision. If they don't, then find a solution. In any case, take action! From your words, I can also see your concerns about whether you can succeed in pursuing a bachelor's degree. I want to tell you that I have also had the same concerns. I have also worried about whether to pursue further studies or find a job. There are indeed risks in pursuing further studies, and the uncertainty is too great. I'm also afraid of not succeeding and missing out on a year of internship experience. However, I have also received advice from others that truly resolved my dilemma: can you imagine if you found your dream job, would you still not pursue a bachelor's degree? If the answer is yes, then perhaps you don't really want to pursue a bachelor's degree. In that case, your motivation to study will be smaller, and you may not wholeheartedly devote yourself to pursuing a bachelor's degree. So, I suggest you seriously consider whether to choose to pursue a bachelor's degree. For me, the answer is no. Although there are many difficulties and uncertainties on this path, I do regret not going to a better school. I want my life to be richer and better, and even though I'm scared, I will wholeheartedly strive for it. Maybe I will fail, but I won't regret choosing this path. I believe that throughout this process, I have improved in terms of knowledge and mindset. And if I hadn't tried, I would have regretted it all along! No matter how much advice others give you, ultimately you have to make your own decision. Once you've made a choice, don't be afraid. Take the brave step forward! Finally, I wish you success in your studies.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19306
       },
       {
        "question": "Will you feel relieved after committing suicide? Does that mean I am not important?",
        "description": "Why is it that when I buy snacks for my friends to eat, my mom beats me and says I don't give any to my sister? Does that mean I'm not important?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and growth process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, at this very moment, you still feel pain. When we allow pain to flow through our bodies, it slowly nourishes us, and perhaps in the future, we may gain a new strength from it. Also, don't forget that you can take a break and pause. Time is to be experienced, and we still have time. When you're tired, take a rest.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9411
       },
       {
        "question": "Always feeling like a greedy, ugly, and fake person, what kind of psychological state is this?",
        "description": "Being greedy for wealth, fame, and status used to be my goal. But now, even if I were to attain all of these, I don't think I would be happy. I wonder if my pursuit of happiness is also excessive. Although I constantly remind myself to be helpful and kind, deep down I sometimes feel unwilling. There are times when I dislike someone in my heart, yet I dare not offend them and choose to peacefully coexist instead. I feel like such a hypocrite.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, guilt, and shame.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~I want to give you a warm hug~ The pursuit of material possessions and happiness is something that everyone has. Most people cannot achieve the so-called \"indifference to fame and fortune\" and only pursue spiritual satisfaction. Since there is something to pursue, there will be a process of striving for it, in which people generally put in some effort or means. Actually, whether or not a person should pursue a desire, or how to accomplish something, is a personal choice. Do what you want to do, don't doubt yourself, maybe the way of thinking about things has changed, the ideas have simplified, the mood has relaxed, and happiness will come.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 9,
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           },
           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 146,
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           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9448
       },
       {
        "question": "For a period of time, there are intense and calm moments about certain things, unstable.",
        "description": "For some things, like \"poetry and distant places,\" there are times when thinking about them fills me with excitement and passion, firmly believing that this is what I've been seeking my whole life, and I am filled with determination. But after a while, when I think about these things, my heart remains calm and I feel no excitement. I have no emotions, and I feel down and lack motivation. This keeps happening in a cycle. It's not because of so-called growth or different thoughts at different ages. It's just that for half a month or a month, I feel passionate about this matter, and then for a period of time, I feel no passion. After another month, I am filled with excitement again. These two states keep changing in a cycle, and neither state lasts for a long time. I want to know why this happens and what causes these changes in states or mindsets. How can I maintain relative stability?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, life purpose.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP~ For a while, you were passionate about \"poetry and faraway places\", but then you lost that passion, and after a while, it came back again. This kind of cycle repeats itself, and eventually, even you start to doubt yourself. From your description, it can be seen that you really like \"poetry and faraway places\". After a period of calm, when you regain your state, you still have the same passionate enthusiasm as before. Isn't liking something supposed to be a continuous and persistent love? According to common sense, it should be like this, so why does this kind of state occur? *Why is the term \"period of fatigue\" mentioned? In our lives, we often have periods of fatigue, for example, during this time, you really want to do something, but after a while, you seem to lose interest, and then after a while, you want to do it again, and this repeats. The period in between when we don't want to do something is our period of fatigue. Right now, you are in this state, and you might even think that maybe there is something wrong with your mindset, but actually, you don't have to worry too much.\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014 #Set clear goals and make wise use of time. \"Poetry and faraway places\" is what you love, but when love comes, it's too passionate, as if you feel like you can do \"poetry and faraway places\" for 24 hours a day. So, set a goal for yourself, such as how much poetry you want to read every day, how long you want to spend reading books, it doesn't have to be too much, an hour or two, according to your own time, stick to it every day, and avoid excessive learning. #Relax appropriately and keep your brain awake. You can exercise and listen to music in your spare time to relax yourself. After finishing studying, give your brain some relaxation so that the next day you can have a better spirit for learning and growth! Hope you can enjoy \"poetry and faraway places\" every day, and enjoy immersing yourself in the happy moments and the beauty!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 398
       },
       {
        "question": "Dropped out of graduate school after starting, feeling useless, can't understand the meaning of life?",
        "description": "Due to personal reasons, I dropped out of graduate school after more than two years. I didn't enjoy the life of being a graduate student and it felt like I had suppressed my emotions for over two years until they suddenly exploded and became uncontrollable. Additionally, because of the pandemic, I have been at home for over six months. I worked at an insurance company for a month recently, but I quit because I didn't like the atmosphere there. Now that the pandemic is over, it's time for me to find a job. However, as a beginner in the professional world who gave up on my field, I have no idea where to start. I'm just passing time at home day by day. To be honest, it was the same during those two years of graduate school. I would procrastinate on tasks and lacked motivation and drive. I also don't know the meaning of my existence. The only concern I have is how my parents would cope if I were to die. From childhood to adulthood, I have always been the type of child who did what my parents told me to do. Perhaps a small part of the reason why I dropped out of school is due to wanting a different life. I feel like a soulless puppet living my life. Also, due to several unsuccessful romantic relationships in the past, I have a negative view not only towards love but also towards life in general. From love, I've learned to give up. If I can't achieve it, then I might as well give up.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I am not confident about my appearance either. I had severe acne from eighth grade to sophomore year of college, and just when it finally got better in my sophomore year, I started experiencing hair loss in my senior year. Now, I am really afraid to be seen by others. I have previously seen a psychologist, and it did seem effective at the time, but it couldn't completely save me. I am a very stubborn person, once I have made up my mind about something, it's difficult to change, whether it's right or wrong. I feel like there is something wrong with me, or maybe having a mental illness is the most convenient excuse for my current thoughts and feelings.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20809
       },
       {
        "question": "I am being driven crazy by procrastination. Procrastination leads to anxiety and insomnia. What should I do?",
        "description": "I have a severe case of procrastination. I know I need to handle certain things right away, but there is a resistant and unwillingness in my mind to do them, which leads to procrastination. Procrastination leads to anxiety, insomnia, and a chain of negative emotions. It has already seriously affected my life and work. What should I do? I'm going crazy!!! Can anyone help me?!",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, self-growth, stress management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, you mentioned that you procrastinate until it makes you anxious. I give you a hug. You choose to procrastinate because procrastination, not doing this thing, is more meaningful to you. Maybe you don't want to do this thing at all, but not doing it will make you feel a sense of loss of control, and you will think that a series of bad things will happen, which leads to anxiety. This situation is to avoid something, and what you avoid may be a certain situation and feeling from the past. And now, you have less power, so you automatically avoid it. You want to control the outcome and cannot accept the uncontrollable, as well as face a certain scene from the past and the fear it brings you. This fear is especially terrifying for you, and it is normal. That fear was really terrifying for you at that time, and it is normal that you cannot accept it. But because you refuse fear, you are controlling the circulation of this energy. You want to control and not experience fear, but actually, you can't control it. If you are willing to try, let yourself experience fear. When the emotional maximum of fear is reached, it will naturally come down, and after it comes down, you will find that you are okay. You can find a safe environment and say to yourself, \"Let's experience fear together. I'm with you.\" Then experience this very fearful feeling. No matter what scary things you think of in your mind, when the fear reaches its peak, it will come down, and the intense feeling of fear will disappear, but you are still in that place and you are fine. If you can't do it, you need some external help to help you see the fear and release it, such as seeking help from a counselor, etc. I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After carefully reading your experience, I can feel that you are being held back by procrastination, which is seriously affecting your life and work. This is indeed a very unpleasant feeling. The existence of procrastination represents our inner desire for perfection. Procrastination and the pursuit of perfection are twin brothers. Sometimes, the pursuit of perfection wears the cloak of procrastination, causing us to feel dissatisfied with ourselves. Your procrastination in dealing with urgent events leads to a feeling of resistance to taking action. I invite you to reflect on the psychological motivations behind this. For example, you may care about how others perceive you or hope to surpass the expectation of perfection in completing tasks. Procrastination can lead to a series of negative emotions, resulting in your insomnia, which is a natural stress response. When you do not meet your own perfect goals, it will inevitably trigger a lot of emotional feedback, such as anxiety, self-blame, grievances, anger, etc. The appearance of these emotions is also a hope for you to hear your true inner voice. What do you truly want? When you see the deeper expectations behind your pursuit of perfection, allow yourself to not be \"perfect.\" Here are some suggestions: 1) Change your mindset: Completion is more important than perfection. In each task, shift some of your focus to the process of thinking and taking action, breaking it down into achievable small goals. Give yourself positive affirmations for each small goal achieved. Taking the first step from 0 to 1 won't be so difficult. 2) Let go: Learn to gradually let go of external evaluations of yourself. Every imperfection represents that you are an action-taker, making progress step by step. Find different ways to record and appreciate each step of achievement. For example, write a gratitude journal or list three good things that happened each day. These practices can help enhance your self-identity and reduce your focus on external evaluations. 3) Take action: Most procrastinators tend to overthink and exhaust their energy on cognitive aspects, leaving no energy for action. Therefore, it is highly recommended that you prioritize action and allow action to improve your ability to handle tasks effectively. 4) Meditation: I suggest using mindfulness meditation to enhance your focus. This is a very effective method for addressing procrastination. However, it requires strict self-discipline and persistence. Finally, I strongly recommend seeking help from a professional mental health counselor if conditions permit. The existence of procrastination has significant implications for personal growth. With the help of a counselor, you can analyze your personal growth experiences and gain insights that will empower you to face procrastination more effectively. I hope my answer has provided you with some inspiration and assistance. Best wishes for overcoming your perplexed emotions soon!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ I completely understand your feelings. Procrastination is very common, and many people experience it to some extent. Even though there are many things to do, we always keep delaying them and only find motivation to complete them when the deadline approaches. Procrastination can be categorized into three types: avoidance procrastination, decision procrastination, and encouraging procrastination. Avoidance procrastination involves avoiding the tasks themselves, either because they are too overwhelming to confront, or due to past failures that have instilled fear, lack of confidence, and worry about inadequate abilities to complete them. Decision procrastination refers to having detailed plans but delaying their execution for a long time. Encouraging procrastination occurs when someone believes they work more efficiently at the last minute and that time pressure gives them a sense of satisfaction. [Some suggestions]: Break down tasks into smaller ones. When faced with a lot of work, it can be stressful and difficult to know where to start. Breaking down big tasks into smaller ones, assigning a deadline for each small task, and gradually completing them can make implementation easier. Give yourself rewards. After completing a task, reward yourself with something you enjoy, such as a delicious meal, a movie, or a small gift, to motivate yourself further. Set realistic plans. Without a plan, you may feel directionless. However, if your plans are too excessive and packed, you may feel overwhelmed without any breathing room, causing significant stress, escape, and anxiety. Set realistic plans according to your own circumstances, balance work and leisure, and allow yourself to relax. I hope you can get rid of your troubles soon~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, hello! Regarding your question, I understand, because such situations often occur during our student days. I used to be someone who procrastinated a lot during my student days. Even though an assignment was due at 8:15, I would wait until 8:10 to start it. Even though I could have submitted a draft a day in advance, I would wait until the last day. Actually, I'm well aware that submitting early could alleviate a lot of stress and make things easier for me, but I just don't want to do it in advance!!! This has always been a problem that troubles me. But in reality, is procrastination really that terrible? Actually, no. Procrastination and laziness have similar meanings, with the most obvious difference being that procrastination means you eventually complete the task, while laziness means you never do the task until the last moment. They are different in terms of the final result. Laziness may be difficult to overcome, but procrastination is not. Procrastination is related to time; it is relative to the length of time. So the most important point in improving your procrastination is to make your time more compact. If the deadline for a paper is the day after tomorrow, tell yourself in your mind that tomorrow is the deadline, and it has to be submitted tomorrow. Of course, just thinking this way won't alleviate the situation, so when necessary, you still have to coerce yourself. If you fail to submit the paper tomorrow, then don't buy lipstick or eat a chicken leg. We all know that when we use a very important bargaining chip to force ourselves forward, we often achieve good results. Break the task into smaller tasks and gradually complete them. Completing a task immediately is impossible because you can't see the process of its realization, so you will feel overwhelmed and procrastinate. But dear, if we break it down, is it still that difficult? Let me give you an example. I want to write a viral article with over 100,000 views, but achieving over 100,000 views is really difficult. If I keep thinking about this goal, I'm sure I will give up. So I came up with a solution to break down this seemingly distant idea. To achieve a viral article with over 100,000 views, you need sufficient awareness of social hot topics and material. So I set a goal to organize one topic and write about a hundred words or so about my perspective on the hot topic every day. In the long run, I have indeed made real progress and have achieved a viral article with over 100,000 views. When you break down the goal, procrastination becomes easier to overcome. The most important thing is to use something you like to limit your procrastination. If you don't complete the task, then you won't be able to buy something you like. This method is even more effective than what I mentioned above. Finally, take care.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I deeply understand your troubles. When you have resistance and don't want to do something, you tend to procrastinate, leading to anxiety, insomnia, and negative emotions. I will share my knowledge with you, hoping to inspire you. Almost everyone, or at least the majority of people, may experience procrastination. When faced with things that they are not particularly willing to do or have difficulty accepting, they tend to postpone them, some eventually complete them, while others do not. Try to accept that you have procrastination tendencies. In fact, procrastination is most common in people who pursue perfection and take their responsibilities seriously. Are you such a person? Another reason is that the consequences of procrastination are not severe enough to force immediate action. You may think, for the things you enjoy doing, do you procrastinate? So, remove this label from yourself. You may have experienced some hidden benefits from procrastination. Try to think about it yourself. Additionally, procrastination is different from laziness. Laziness means not wanting to do something at all, while procrastination means knowing that you need to do something but not taking action. Procrastination can have varying degrees of harm to both work and study. Non-acceptance and rejection of yourself is what makes it difficult for you to change, according to the teacher. In fact, procrastination is a form of self-protection, so you can easily accept it by saying, \"I am tired, I don't want to do anything now, I don't want to change.\" By doing this, you will have less internal conflict and find it easier to change. Conversely, people who constantly procrastinate are constantly blaming themselves without accepting themselves. Their internal dialogue is: \"I don't like my current self, so I have to change.\" Their energy is being depleted, causing them to remain stuck. When facing procrastination, we should increase rather than change. I don't reject procrastination, but I am willing to develop the courage to face reality and improve my resilience. No longer entangled in the problem of procrastination, there are many ways to overcome it. For example, set clear and achievable goals. The key feature of clear goals is that they must be observable. For example, for the task you don't want to do, how much do you want to complete today? Each time you achieve a clear goal, your confidence increases. When facing immense pressure at work, many people procrastinate because they consider a project too complex and impossible to complete in a short period of time, and therefore avoid doing it. However, the complex task can be broken down into smaller, easily accomplishable sub-tasks, reducing our psychological pressure and making it easier to complete the work. Avoiding perfectionism can also help alleviate procrastination. Perfectionists with maladaptive tendencies often set high standards for themselves, fear failure, and use procrastination to avoid taking action. If they don't act, there won't be any results, and they won't fail. Change your attitude and learn to approach problems with a positive mindset. Put aside the obstacles and difficulties that hinder immediate action, focus on what we currently have, and then take action! If procrastination is severe, consider seeking professional help and see a psychologist. Finally, I wish you a speedy recovery from the troubles of procrastination!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You have three problems: 1. When there is an event that requires immediate action, you feel resistant internally, so you procrastinate. 2. Because you procrastinate and do not take action, things worsen, and you cannot accept or bear the consequences of losing control. 3. The frequent occurrence of bad situations forms a negative impression that you are not capable or good enough, leading to anxiety, insomnia, and uneasiness. To address these issues, you need to: 1. Change your cognition. 2. Take immediate action. 3. Strengthen self-discipline. 4. Increase self-acceptance. 5. Persistently adhere to the above four points to establish a positive cycle. The most crucial and important aspect here is changing your cognition. First, ask yourself why you naturally have an emotion of resistance and unwillingness when it comes to tasks that need to be dealt with immediately. This emotion is crucial, but where does it come from? Why does it arise? You need to pay special attention to this point and explore it further, uncovering important aspects that you have never discovered before. I suggest that you seek the help of a counselor to find and explore this first point together. Improving the habit of procrastination necessitates taking immediate action, but your attention is focused on resistance, struggling with tasks that you have no choice but to do but refuse to do. You are unable to take action and have lost the ability to act. I suggest that you put aside all your thoughts, emotions, resistance, and hesitation, and immediately start taking action. You can also involve others to collaborate with you and supervise you to enhance your ability to handle tasks. Self-discipline, as the third matter, relies on having a foundation to accomplish the first two points. I want to emphasize the fourth point: self-acceptance is a major issue that you currently face. You believe that you have a serious case of procrastination and judge yourself as being sick. Well, if you're sick, you should seek treatment, right? But no, you don't want to seek treatment or change; you just wait for someone else to help you. Do you think having someone help you will magically solve everything? You think you won't procrastinate anymore? Therefore, I suggest that you seek psychological counseling and receive long-term follow-up treatment from a counselor, as that will be the most effective in helping you. So, if you really don't want to go crazy, if you truly want to improve your bad habit of procrastination, take action. Believe in yourself, I also believe in you! Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Believe in yourself, you can definitely overcome procrastination! The scary thing about procrastination is that you always think, \"It's okay, I'll do it tomorrow.\" But when tomorrow comes, you convince yourself of the same thing. Procrastination sufferers always have countless \"tomorrows,\" but never grasp the opportunity of today. As a result, procrastination becomes a habit, an addiction that is difficult to break. So when critical moments arrive, you have to spend even more energy and time, making yourself nervous, anxious, and uncomfortable. The solution is actually simple: make a plan, learn self-discipline, use time wisely, strive to persist, not easily slack off, and not let laziness become a habit. The approach is simple, but putting it into practice is difficult. A specific breakdown can be as follows: 1. First, try to accept that you have procrastination, and in fact, most people have procrastination. In fact, procrastination is most common in those who strive for perfection and take their responsibilities seriously. It is precisely because \"if I do anything, I want to do it to the best of my ability\" that leads to constant delays and hesitations. Yet, often at the last moment, they manage to complete the task, which shows that procrastinators are actually very smart. If they start too early, they may change their minds and waste time. It is better to do it in one go when there is a sense of urgency. 2. Regularly ask yourself, \"Is what I am doing now the most important thing at the moment?\" This is the experience of Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of \"Facebook.\" He is very busy but never procrastinates. Every year, he can complete many seemingly impossible tasks and plans. He relies on this simple but powerful question. 3. Set fixed time and develop a habit: for example, sit diligently at your desk without playing with your phone or games from 7 to 9 pm every night. It may seem boring, but you have to do something. So start working, and you will find that you can complete many tasks ahead of time, to your own surprise. Moreover, it becomes easier and easier, boosting your confidence and alleviating your psychological burden. Remember to reward yourself too. 4. Learn to prioritize. Classify tasks into urgent and important, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, and neither urgent nor important, then complete them accordingly. Break down large tasks into smaller ones. 5. Eliminate distractions. Close QQ, turn off music, turn off the TV... Turn off everything that may affect your work efficiency and focus wholeheartedly on your tasks. 6. Mutual supervision. Find friends who can overcome this bad habit together. It's easier than fighting alone. 7. Set more specific goals. If your plan is \"I want to lose weight and maintain a good figure,\" it is likely to fail. But if your plan is \"I will get up for a run three times a week at 7 am,\" it will likely be followed through. So, consider dividing tasks into manageable small goals. 8. Don't give yourself too much time. Psychologist Fournier found that graduate students who took two years to complete their theses always left some time to relax and reorganize. Those who took three years or more to write their theses spent almost every minute collecting data and writing. Therefore, sometimes the longer you extend your work time, the lower your work efficiency. 9. Don't glorify stress. Don't believe in sayings like \"under pressure, heroes emerge.\" You can create a timetable with short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals to avoid postponing everything until the last minute. 10. Seek professional help. If procrastination is severe and affecting your future, consider seeking help from a psychologist. Cognitive-behavioral therapy might be effective. In summary, take action immediately. It may be difficult to completely overcome procrastination, but improving it is definitely possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. First of all, from your description, I can sense that such situation often puts your life out of control and has a serious impact on your life and work. It's like a vicious circle. Being unable to sleep at night makes you lack energy for work the next day. But this situation also indicates that there may be an imbalance in your inner self. Only when a person is in a state of inner imbalance, he/she needs to compensate through some forms of escape or procrastination. In simpler terms, because deep down in your heart, you resist the things you have to do, hence the subconscious resistance and procrastination. Secondly, although I don't know when this situation started for you, since you have such a problem, it suggests that to some extent, you have weak autonomy in your growth process, and this is closely related to your early growth experiences. At the same time, anxiety and insomnia are also due to a lack of control over the procrastinated tasks, which is a manifestation of weak psychological abilities and qualities. Therefore, I suggest you seek professional psychological counseling for personal growth to enhance the corresponding psychological abilities and qualities, and establish time management and efficiency improvement skills from the root. Finally, insomnia and anxiety are often physiological responses. You can try relaxation exercises before sleep, such as abdominal breathing. This can help reduce your highly stressed, anxious emotions and better enter a state of relaxation and sleep. However, please pay attention that your focus should be on your own breath, and it must be abdominal breathing! If you are not skilled at it initially, you can place your hands on your abdomen and feel the rise and fall of your abdomen with each breath. Remember: do not use chest breathing, as it will only make you more tense. I hope you can solve this problem and live a better life soon.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "How severe is your procrastination? What are the things that you won't procrastinate on? When it comes to those tasks that you procrastinate, what is it that you resist? Is it a feeling of rebellion, anxiety, or something else? Different reasons behind procrastination require different approaches to deal with. Some procrastination may be a form of resistance or expression of anger towards certain things or people. It is possible that by managing these emotions well, you can avoid using procrastination as a way to cope. Also, when did your procrastination start? How did it develop into the way it is now? Although many people have procrastination, everyone's procrastination may look different, so it is necessary to understand it in detail.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, procrastination is a popular behavior habit these days, but it seems like your procrastination is more serious, almost driving you crazy and causing anxiety and insomnia. It seems like it has reached a point where it needs to be resolved. Let's take a look together at what good methods there are. First, in order to address this symptom, we need to create some behavior charts. Currently, I am using a micro habit formation chart myself, listing out some small habits that need to be developed every day, such as reading ten pages of a book or doing push-ups once a day. Check off the completed tasks on the chart every day and give yourself rewards. Every evening, I write down the tasks I need to do tomorrow in a notebook and prioritize them into four categories: important and urgent, urgent but not important, important but not urgent, not important and not urgent. The next day, I start by completing the tasks that are important and urgent, and so on. Also, we have many fragmented periods of time throughout the day, and if used effectively, they can be quite productive. Sometimes, you can complete a small task in 15 minutes or a medium-sized task in half an hour, and you can accomplish something significant in an hour. List out all the tasks that need to be completed and check them off as you finish each one. Completing a few tasks can be rewarded. Additionally, set aside half an hour each day for meditation to calm your mind and reflect on what you have accomplished and what is still left to be done. Habits are developed gradually, so you can practice these techniques for a month to see what happens. Finally, I'm concerned about your anxiety symptoms. You can go to a psychology department and take a test. If it turns out to be true, you also need to address your anxiety.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4077
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm tired, but I know I won't give up. There's a battle going on in my mind.",
        "description": "Sometimes I really want to die, but what's the point of living on? I don't want to forgive him, but I know eventually I will forgive all the harm he caused me. However, my current state of mind is not calm. I don't want to forgive. All the hurts are done in the name of love. If I could remember, it would be great to retaliate, but I can't. I know in the end I will be kind to others, not because I force myself, but because I know I have the choice. I won't be troubled by these things, but this is all in the end, the very end. I will always be shot down. Do you know that I'm not taking care of myself right now? I have no control, no hope for life. I'm an adult, but I feel learned helplessness. I know I'm improving, but it's slow. Not only that, no one supports me. My family uses love as a way to strike and oppress me. Can I let go? If there is a next life, please don't let me meet them again. I'm tired. If not, I really don't want to be human anymore. It would be better to be a flower, a tree, or even just a blade of grass. Spring glory, autumn withering, or even falling beneath a footprint. I'm exhausted, but I know I won't end it. Heaven is helping me heal. This is what I need to encounter in my lifetime. I will certainly find clarity in living. In the future, I don't need them, but blood ties force me to accept this burden. This is the reconciliation of life.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, talking and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You hurt me, but I will find a way to reconcile with myself. In this pattern, I need to survive, but I will also become tired. I will get tired, and no one knows, but I will still live. One's life needs to be taken slowly. It has been several months, and I can't hurry. I know I need to slowly reconcile. I will be happy. I have a future. I can't change you, but I need to survive. That's what it means to be human, not a flower, not a tree, not grass, perhaps it is also an honor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1559
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do when I find myself deeply involved after accepting someone's confession, but it's causing me a lot of distress?",
        "description": "The day before yesterday, I just received a confession from my blind date and we even kissed. I realized that I have fallen too deeply into this, and every day I keep recalling these memories. He doesn't contact me, which makes me feel disappointed. I'm afraid that I'm becoming too dependent and losing myself. I've also started to feel insecure and unwilling to engage with his social circle. I think I'm falling in love, but I'm also experiencing anxiety and insecurity. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, dependency and attachment, the management of love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems that the original poster both desires and fears entering into an intimate relationship, afraid of experiencing various emotions such as longing, worry, sadness, and anxiety, as well as losing oneself. If one wants to grow, the best way is to experience and hone oneself in relationships. So my advice is to boldly invest in it, because after getting immersed, you will go through both joy and pain, including unexpected experiences. Whether it ends in a successful relationship, whether it is a happy process, and even if you lose yourself in the process\u2014all of these do not matter. But this experience will surely greatly temper and elevate your personality.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Based on the OP's description, I can sense your struggle and lack of security. You take relationships seriously, which is why you get too deeply involved. You don't want to be too reliant because you're afraid of being too clingy to the other person, but at the same time, you still want to be close to them. It's a state of wrestling and feeling unsure. The feeling of being lost is simple - why hasn't he replied to my message? Why is he so busy? Actually, you don't have to be together every day. If he tells you he's busy beforehand, you can relax and stop overthinking. Because everyone has work and their own things going on, it's not possible to give their full attention to everything. When it comes to relationships, there is happiness and powerlessness because we are all exploring in the face of emotions. I hope you don't feel distressed anymore and find happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18213
       },
       {
        "question": "Recurring dreams and fear, is it self-suggestion or something else?",
        "description": "I often have the same dream and I wake up scared every time. In the dream, I want to eat something, but I find that my teeth are falling out one by one, all falling into my mouth. I try to hold on to them but I can't, and I feel very afraid. After a while, a new set of teeth will grow again, but the same result will repeat. It seems that every time I have this kind of dream, I get sick afterwards. I don't know if it's self-suggestion or something else.",
        "keywords": "Emotion, expressing emotions, panic and helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I carefully read your question. There are many interpretations for dream meanings, but the most important thing is to analyze them based on the dreamer's feelings. Here, I can only provide some guidance. [Consider the main elements in the dream.] The main elements of the dream: teeth, eating. These two elements actually imply your life state, specifically regarding self-care. You mentioned in your question that you often get sick after having this dream, so the meaning of these two dreams is more like a warning and reminder. When you neglect taking care of yourself for a period of time, the dream of eating will appear. No matter how you eat, your teeth will fall out, which might suggest that you may be too exhausted during this period, implying that you should consider your own health. [Consider the emotional state in the dream and after waking up.] It seems that in the dream, your emotional state is frightened, and you still feel worried after waking up. These emotional states actually imply some negative information that the dream may convey. They mostly point to possible crisis events that may occur in life. Therefore, if you have such dreams again, please remember to check your recent life status. If you have been overextended, please adjust your lifestyle in a timely manner. I hope the above reply is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The theme of the OP's dream seems to be destruction and rebirth. When facing destruction, our consciousness is often filled with absolute fear. However, our subconscious knows that destruction is not just the end, but also a necessary prerequisite for new beginnings. Every occurrence and development has a process, but we often only recognize it when things have already come to a result (actually approaching an end), such as getting sick. Initially, it starts with something minor, but during this stage, we often don't realize that we are already in the course of the illness. We usually have to wait until various symptoms become quite noticeable before we can define it with a certain name. With this defined name, we then consciously acknowledge that we are sick. However, the subconscious confirms the presence of the illness much earlier, and it expresses it in the form of dreams. For consciousness, this dream becomes a kind of omen.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4734
       },
       {
        "question": "Why are people so sensitive to sound and light when they're tired?",
        "description": "Why, when feeling exhausted, do I feel disgusted and find the world bleak when hearing others' voices? I also lose interest in things around me. After recovering my energy, it feels like I had a dream. How can I improve this?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Why is it that when you are very tired, hearing other people's voices can be very irritating? This is because you want to rest in peace. When you are very tired, you need rest, you need quiet, and you don't want to be bothered or stressed with anything. This situation also indicates that even during your rest, you still maintain a sense of alertness and have a high level of vigilance. This is a stress response. When a person is threatened or stimulated, their sympathetic nervous system is activated, and a large amount of stress hormone (cortisol) is released, putting the whole body in an emergency state. At this time, the heart rate increases, muscles become tense, blood pressure rises, breathing becomes rapid, and the senses become sharp. When you are in this state of stress, you naturally become sensitive to sound and light and perceive others as a threat. Perhaps it is your environment that has fostered this habit of vigilance. If you want to change, you need to first examine whether your environment has changed. For example, if you have left your original home and now live in a safe community, you can tell yourself, \"It is safe and harmonious here, I am relaxed.\" This will suggest to yourself that there is no sense of tension here. In addition, you can exercise for at least 30 minutes every day. A certain amount of exercise can not only stimulate the release of endorphins but also have a certain inhibitory effect on cortisol release. Furthermore, maintaining harmonious intimate relationships is important. It is said that home is a harbor for people, and interacting with loved ones can indeed calm people's restlessness. If you feel stressed, you can return to your family and immerse yourself in the family atmosphere. Good intimate relationships can help maintain blood pressure levels within a normal range and promote the release of dopamine and endorphins, which are happiness factors in the body.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After careful reading of your confession, I deeply understand your pain. Sending you a warm hug. Here is my analysis: 1. \"Why do I feel a strong aversion to hearing other people's voices when I'm tired?\" When our bodies are tired, we tend to sleep. And sleep requires a quiet environment, without any disturbances. Similarly, when our minds are tired, they also need rest. Therefore, we don't want to be disturbed by external voices. This is the reason why you feel a strong aversion to hearing other people's voices. 2. \"I feel like the world is very gloomy.\" When we are tired, our mental energy drops to its lowest point. Consequently, our hearts become fragile and susceptible to negative suggestions. Therefore, our perception of the world changes, and we start to feel that it is gloomy. 3. \"How can I improve?\" Cultivate a hobby for yourself. By engaging in something you love, you can quickly replenish your energy and fill yourself with strength. Thank you for your question, and may the goodness of the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! I want to give you a big hug for feeling tired. The feeling of \"tiredness\" is a result of the interaction between body and mind. Your body brings your awareness back to itself, focusing on itself. At this time, your senses become heightened and more sensitive to the external world. That's why sounds, light, and other stimuli can be more bothersome. Based on your description, I understand that this \"tiredness\" is more of what people call \"mental exhaustion\" rather than physical fatigue. OP, you can take some time in a relaxed and comfortable environment to reflect: Has this situation occurred recently, or has it been going on for a long time? Is there any pattern to its occurrence? What kind of things might be causing it? Body and mind are interconnected, and often our bodies know the answers to emotional and psychological confusion that we may not consciously realize. By becoming more self-aware, we can address the root of this problem more effectively. Lastly, when you're tired, why not take a rest? After all, life is like a marathon, isn't it? External judgments and standards are products of society, but our own life experiences are ultimately our own. Let's encourage each other.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15732
       },
       {
        "question": "Emotional delay and slow reactions can greatly impact one's daily life. What should be done in such a situation?",
        "description": "Hello teachers! I'm 29 years old and have been working for three years. I have noticed that my emotional responses are slow and it is affecting my life. Here's what happened: I am currently on a holiday and recently started learning to drive. Last week, my instructor suddenly did something inappropriate (watching inappropriate videos, using provocative language, and touching me) during the lesson. At that moment, my mind went blank and I forcefully pushed him away. It took me two days to realize what had happened and I felt angry! How could he treat me like this? I felt fearful afterwards because it posed a threat to my safety. Only then did I take action to warn him and change instructors. I have always been slower in my reactions since I was in school, but back then, I just thought of myself as being slow-paced in character. It was only after I started working that I noticed it takes me a few days to realize when I have been treated unfairly. This slowness creates an impression that I am easy to take advantage of, causing some distress. Some good friends of mine have also mentioned that I give off a cold first impression and it takes some time for me to show warmth. However, I am certain that I am not completely emotionally incapable. I can immediately feel emotions when it comes to people I trust, and even through text messages, I can feel the tenderness. I would like to know: 1) based on this initial assessment, could this be a disease or a psychological barrier? 2) What can I do to achieve timely responses?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, hypochondria, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, I want to give you a hug. From the description, it can be understood that you have a delayed reaction to certain dangerous and negative situations and emotionally you seem to be a slow-tempered person. These factors are starting to affect your life, and you wonder if it might be a psychological disorder. [A little bit of analysis and advice] 1. For now, it is important to immediately alleviate the negative impact of the delayed reaction on yourself, such as not being able to perceive danger in a timely manner. You could seek help from your family and friends. It would be best if you have a close friend with whom you have a good relationship, understanding and trust, someone willing to share life experiences with you. Tell them about strange or interesting events that happened to you or things that you don't understand the meaning of, allowing your friend to provide an objective judgment. 2. Develop a habit of reflecting on and reviewing your experiences. You can set aside some time to write in a journal every evening or every few days, recalling events and making reflections. By improving your ability to think, your thinking speed will gradually increase. 3. A slow reaction is not considered a typical psychological disorder, but if it is negatively impacting your life and work, it is best to seek help from a professional psychological counselor and find systematic methods to solve the problem.",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18778
       },
       {
        "question": "\"I am a 19-year-old female college freshman who feels hopeless and very distressed with life. What should I do?\"",
        "description": "A 19-year-old girl, a freshman in a vocational college majoring in electronic commerce. She had amblyopia since childhood, resulting in blindness in her right eye and severe myopia of over 500 in her left eye. Her eyes are deformed and prone to eye fatigue. She has severe dental caries and average academic performance. She pursues perfection in her work but often feels incapable of doing things well, leading to low self-worth. She has experienced insomnia and vivid dreams for over five years and hasn't truly felt happy. She also struggles to maintain good relationships with her classmates. Since January, she has been dreaming about quarrels and negative evaluations from others almost every night. Her family wanted her to take medication but she didn't dare to since she hadn't seen a doctor. She often feels irritated and loses her temper due to things others say or do. In March, she was diagnosed with mild hyperthyroidism, but she is now better. She constantly recalls negative events, which keep looping in her mind. She thinks she can't do anything well or pass exams, and is easily influenced by negative comments from others. Thinking about the future, where she needs to advance to a university, she is worried that her eyes will deteriorate further, as she only has one functional eye, making her more prone to fatigue and fear. She remembers her parents saying that those with high myopia are fine, so she should be fine too, but she is scared.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope my answer can bring you some useful insights. First of all, it's great to see that you have recognized the issues you are facing and have the desire to change. Now, after regret, it is important to actively seek change. Here are some small suggestions on how to boost your self-confidence: \n\n1. Understand yourself again and identify the reasons for your lack of confidence. Is it due to being introverted or shy, or do you feel inadequate in certain areas? Understanding the root causes will help you find more targeted methods to change yourself.\n\n2. Emphasize your strengths. Once you have identified your strengths, make sure to fully utilize them. This will improve your self-identification and ultimately boost your confidence.\n\n3. Avoid striving for perfection. Remember, nobody is perfect. Don't let setbacks completely negate your self-worth. Allowing yourself to sink into a sense of failure will only make you feel disappointed, frustrated, and even helpless. Instead, focus on your strengths and don't dwell solely on your weaknesses.\n\n4. Accept yourself. No matter how you are, you are unique. Learn to be happy with yourself. For example, you may have labeled yourself as shy, which makes you hesitate to speak up in social situations. However, being shy doesn't mean you are strange or abnormal. Accept yourself for who you are, because you don't need everyone's approval, and you don't need to live like everyone else. Embrace the real you.\n\nIn the second part, confident appearance and demeanor matter. It is true that people are visual creatures, so your clothing and hairstyle can make an impact. Of course, I'm not suggesting you buy expensive clothes or get a fancy hairstyle, but instead, focus on being neat and presentable. Consider participating in courses, training programs, or joining clubs or organizations. Cultivating a hobby will make you feel more fulfilled. Finally, reading more can also be beneficial. As the saying goes, \"In books, you can find a golden house and beautiful faces.\" Reading can enhance your inner qualities in ways that other methods may not be able to achieve.\n\nI hope this can help you. If you have more questions or concerns, feel free to message me or follow our WeChat public account: Mentalhealth Pro.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18359
       },
       {
        "question": "How to persuade a long-distance friend who wants to commit suicide?",
        "description": "I went to work in a different place, and I don't have the opportunity to see her or accompany her while studying. I have done this kind of thing before and was rescued by the police, but I still want to commit suicide. I have social anxiety there and no relatives or friends. I don't want to go home due to conflicts with my family. I feel helpless and can't find a job there. I don't want to do anything and feel confused and lacking confidence in everything. She says there's nothing she cares about or wants. Nobody wants to believe, so let it be. Her family is not particularly concerned about this. How can I advise her as a long-distance friend?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, friends",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeing your question, I feel that you are a very caring, kind, and warm person, and you are very concerned about your friend. Because you are working in a different place, you don't have the opportunity to be with your friend. Your friend has had suicidal thoughts before, luckily you were able to save them in time. However, your friend still has the desire to commit suicide, and you want to persuade her, but you don't know how to do it. Actually, the only one who can help oneself is oneself. Because, to untie a bell, the person who tied it must do it. Only when your friend has the willingness to seek help can the problem potentially be solved. From your description, I feel that your friend might want to be seen and cared for. But because you are not her, your description is just your perception. And I can only make assumptions based on your description, so it may not be accurate. I don't know if your friend is willing to receive psychological counseling or seek medical help? If possible, can you suggest that she seek timely medical or psychological counseling to address the related issues? It can help her find the root cause of the problem. If she herself has no such intention, as a friend, if she needs it, I suggest you can care for her in a way she can accept, help her get through the difficult times, and build confidence. You can suggest that she engage in exercise or practice meditation, as exercise or meditation can improve a person's mood. Regardless of what you do, you can only provide her with care and advice. As for what choices to make and how to act, what matters most is your friend's own willingness and decision.",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
            "start": 106,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9516
       },
       {
        "question": "What is the difference in controlling sexual desire before and after falling in love and getting married?",
        "description": "Regardless of whether one is single or not, it is important to learn how to control sexual desire. In the stage of being single, one may have limited knowledge and experience in terms of sexuality. What are the differences in terms of controlling sexual desire between this stage and the stage after entering a relationship or getting married and having sexual experiences?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, sexual desire, confusion, chaos.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject, hello, I am honored to have the opportunity to communicate with you! Sex is an ancient topic and a very common one, but due to factors such as our country's culture, we rarely discuss it. Sex is something that everyone has, and it is the foundation for the continuation of the species. After the age of 16 for males and 14 for females, they slowly begin to mature and have some understanding of sex. Parents, teachers, or peers need to provide guidance and popularize knowledge in this regard so that there won't be so many questions, allowing people to focus more on learning and life and reduce unnecessary worries. When single, it is important to control sexual desire. First of all, it is necessary to accept and understand that having sexual desires is normal, and there is no need to deliberately control it. When in a relationship or after getting married, it is also important to control sexual desire. If one has a partner, they can communicate and understand each other more, and there is no need to overly control it. May I ask why do you always want to control it (sexual desire)?",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3778
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old woman, in a relationship with another woman, has a tendency to throw things and push people during arguments. What should I do?",
        "description": "I and my partner (two girls) are in a foreign country. We have been together for almost four years. Similar incidents have happened before when we were together. In the past two years, she has broken three phones and damaged the necklace she gave me. These were all done when she couldn't control her anger. Although I am the one who starts the fights, it always ends with her breaking things. I don't want to escalate the conflict, so I always avoid it when it comes to this point. But today, she started pushing me and grabbed my collar. I'm a bit scared and don't dare to go home. I also don't have anywhere else to go in this foreign country, and I don't want to go to my colleagues as it would spread rumors. I can't buy a plane ticket back to my home country now because of the pandemic, and the apartment we are living in is under my name. I paid for it and signed a one-year contract, so breaking it would incur a penalty. I don't know what to do now.",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security, argument, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Each person has different reactions when their emotions fluctuate greatly. Some people choose to escape, some people choose to throw things, and some people choose to argue. 1. What is the reason for each argument? In fact, many arguments in life are caused by small things. These small things may seem insignificant, but when they explode, they will explode like small grenades, suddenly bursting out. Therefore, we can simply think back to how two people usually deal with problems. Have they engaged in self-reflection and self-improvement? If both parties insist on their own arguments and are unwilling to compromise, and each argument is avoided, then the problems will only increase. Therefore, we can first ask ourselves if there is a possibility of continuing this relationship. If so, will both parties be willing to make changes? If not, how can we minimize the damage? 2. Give each other some time. I don't know if the other person is aware of their own problems. Every time violence occurs, it does bring us some shadows and harm. If possible, we can give each other a period of calm. If the house we live in has two bedrooms, we can temporarily live separately for a while. We can also reflect on our own problems, think about each other's good qualities, and think about our own shortcomings. We can also record the things we think the other person has done well, and consider why we want to be together and how to solve problems when they arise. When necessary, we can give each other a simple hug and say, \"Can we temporarily calm down, take a few deep breaths, and not blame each other, okay?\" If, after trying various methods, it is still not suitable, then we can have a frank talk with each other, after all, a forced melon will not be sweet. The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading your question carefully, I feel sorry for your situation. I'm sending you a heartfelt hug and hoping to give you more strength while comforting you. The essence of love remains unchanged, whether it is between same-sex or opposite-sex partners. However, romantic relationships between same-sex partners can be more sensitive and require understanding and support from each other. Both sides may face more pressure. But don't worry, this process will also help you mature and deepen your understanding of women and yourself.\n\nYou mentioned that you are the one who always initiates fights. So, can you try to control your emotions? Can you try a relatively calm way of communication? A good partnership is the result of cooperation between both sides. Having two reasonable partners doesn't guarantee harmony, and having one dominant and one submissive partner doesn't mean they won't get along well. Psychologist Chen Haixian once said that a good partner is not determined by the individuals themselves, but by how well they cooperate when they are together. Communication between partners is like dancing in pairs. Just looking at their dance moves alone cannot determine if they are good or bad. What matters is their coordination. The dance steps between partners, or their habitual ways of cooperation, form the relationship pattern between them.\n\nChen Haixian believes that good relationship patterns often have two characteristics: positive symmetry and effective complementarity. Positive symmetry means that both partners inspire each other with positive language and behavior. For example, suppose your partner says to you, \"These past four years haven't been easy. Thank you for always being by my side.\" When you hear this, you respond, \"You have also been with me. Having you makes me feel at ease.\" This mutual recognition will inspire and create a virtuous cycle. In our interactions, we should focus more on the good parts of the relationship and affirm each other. When problems arise, try not to blame or criticize each other, which can avoid stimulating each other to release more negative relationship information and forming negative symmetry. If this happens, the more you argue, the angrier you both become, leading to violence. This can create a vicious cycle. Effective complementarity means that one person's words and actions provoke a completely different response from the other, creating a mutual complement. For example, suppose you see your partner getting angry during an argument. Instead of continuing to argue, you stop and wait for them to calm down before communicating and talking to them. This is also an effective complement. When conflicts arise in a relationship, don't provoke each other. Many times, the violence from the other person is likely triggered by the negative relationship pattern between you both.\n\nHow can you improve the relationship pattern? Chen Haixian believes that two things are essential: \"cooperation\" and \"cycle.\" \"Cooperation\" does not mean that we should make efforts on our own to match the other person. Thinking this way would attribute all the problems to the other person. We need to see how our behavior influences the other person in the relationship. When you are not aware of how your actions affect the other person, you tend to push all the blame to the other person, thinking that as long as the other person changes, everything will be fine. However, you rarely consider what you can change to improve the way you interact with each other. The so-called \"cycle\" means that one person's behavior is stimulated by the other person. Therefore, your change can also lead to changes in the other person. For example, when you no longer provoke conflicts or use a relatively calm way to communicate with your partner, their temper may also improve. You can try asking yourself, \"What did I do to make her become like this?\" \"What can I do to improve our current way of getting along?\" Avoiding communication will not solve the problem. Try to face it and improve it. If you feel unsafe, you can try to invite her out, to a restaurant or park, for a conversation. Treat it as a date, go out together to relax, chat, and wait for her to calm down before returning home together.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Seeing your question, I want to give you a warm hug first, and I hope my answer can help you. It seems that you want to change your current situation, as your partner has a temper and even tends to be violent, which scares you a bit. If we want her to change, we need to understand the root cause of her temperament and find the right solution. In many cases I have seen, such temperaments are usually influenced by their family upbringing. If the father frequently abuses the mother or the children, the child's violent tendencies can manifest in two ways: one is being violent towards others, and the other is self-harm, or self-violence. Usually, children who grow up in a home with domestic violence have uncontrollable violence. They are aware of the horror of violence and do not want to be violent, but they simply cannot control it. If your partner frequently throws things and pushes people, she falls into the category of being violent towards others. Does she also engage in self-harm? Does she constantly have self-inflicted wounds on her body? You can observe or ask her directly. When she is calm, gently communicate with her. If she has feelings for you, she actually does not want to be violent towards you, but she cannot control herself. Generally, she will feel some regret afterwards. So, ask her if she realizes her problem - her tendency towards violence - and ask her if it is because of her family upbringing. If it is indeed the case, then she also does not want to be like this. It will be relatively easy for you to persuade her to change. You can tell her about your feelings - fear. Let her know that this behavior affects the relationship between the two of you. Changing this temperament is not easy and will take time. First, try to understand the difficulties her family has faced, and control your own emotions, avoiding fights and angering her. Secondly, even if you don't know what to do and she becomes angry again, having violent tendencies, you should still be patient with her and at this time, try to calm her down: \"Darling, please calm down. Remember, you said you don't want to be like this. Why have you started again? Come on, calm down.\" You need to bring her out of her angry state. What should you do now? Maybe find a hotel to stay in for a few days. When you feel she has calmed down a bit, start trying to communicate with her. During the conversation, apologize first, and it would be good to buy a gift and have it delivered to the place you are staying to make her happy. If you still want to continue this relationship, it may require more effort and understanding on your part. Of course, not continuing may bring you relief. You can decide for yourself. I hope I can help resolve your confusion. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From the description given by the poster, I can sense their fear, worry, dismay, and helplessness... First, I want to send a warm virtual hug to the poster, who is far away from their home country. I hope to provide you with a bit of comfort in your time of helplessness. The poster mentioned at the end, \"I don't know what to do.\" To be honest, no one really knows what to do because this is your life, not theirs. I hope the following analysis can help you. \n1. Throwing things: The poster mentioned that their girlfriend often throws things when she is angry, and they tend to avoid the situation when this happens. First, this behavior pattern of the girlfriend likely stems from her past experiences, where she might have encountered similar situations, and this behavior pattern proved to be successful for her. The poster's avoidance behavior further reinforces this pattern. Have you ever communicated about this issue with your girlfriend when both of you are relatively calm and the atmosphere is more harmonious? Have you clearly expressed to her that you do not like this behavior pattern and your temporary avoidance is to prevent further escalation of conflicts, rather than admitting defeat? The fact that this situation has occurred multiple times in the span of four years suggests that you haven't had effective communication with your girlfriend about this issue. Therefore, I suggest that you seriously communicate with her about this issue, at least making sure she is aware of your dislike or even fear of this behavior pattern. \n2. Physical aggression: Similarly, this is a problem that needs to be urgently resolved. Although the first time it was just pushing and grabbing the collar, it is easy to imagine that subsequent actions will escalate rapidly if they are not firmly stopped. The poster mentioned feeling \"a little scared and afraid to go home\" after such behavior occurred. Did you immediately leave home when your girlfriend displayed this behavior? If so, then maybe you can temporarily find a public place or stay in a hotel for a while. Take some time to calm down and think about how you want to handle this situation. If it was the day after the argument, for example, after work, and you didn't want to go home because of the previous argument and your partner's behavior, then your issue might stem from not knowing how you want to handle this relationship. \n3. Trigger: The poster mentioned, \"Every time we argue, it's because of something I did.\" This makes me curious - did you intentionally provoke the conflict? Or is it that you know your words or actions will incite an argument, but you can't control yourself? And once your partner exhibits some uncontrollable behavior, you immediately resort to avoidance, presenting yourself as a frightened weakling. If this pattern keeps recurring, do you also have a behavior pattern of \"provoking the argument, waiting for the other person to lose control, and then avoiding\"? Please reflect on whether you have learned this behavior pattern from previous experiences. If it is not a learned behavior, it might be easier to resolve. The prerequisite for resolving it, however, is that you become aware of your behavior pattern and are willing to work on it. Ultimately, the main problem lies in what you really want. Do you want to improve the way you two interact, or do you want to end this relationship? Regardless of what you want, I want to remind you that \"safety comes first.\" Even in an unfamiliar foreign land, there are still many sources of help available. Don't always imagine yourself to be in a \"lonely and helpless\" situation. I hope the above suggestions are helpful to you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, first, let me give you a big hug~ Suggestions: \u2460 Self-control: OP said that although they start the arguments every time, it always ends with the girl throwing things, and OP doesn't want to escalate the conflict, so they usually avoid it at this point. Therefore, OP unintentionally creates conflicts but is unable to resolve them and doesn't want the situation to worsen, resulting in the current state. OP can ask themselves questions like: | What did I say to cause such a strong reaction from the girl? | Was my way of speaking extreme? After thinking about it, OP can avoid communicating with the girl in these circles. \u2461 Wait for her to calm down: OP said that they have been together for nearly four years, and similar incidents have occurred more than once during their time together. Within two years, she has thrown and damaged three phones and broke the necklace she gave as a gift when she couldn't control her anger. From this perspective, it seems that the girl's emotions are easily agitated and uncontrollable. In this situation, no matter what measures OP takes, she won't listen and may even escalate things further due to OP's opposing opinions. So everything should be addressed after she calms down. OP can first stay in another hotel for a few days to calm their own emotions and understand their own thoughts. \u2462 Come up with measures: After the girl has cooled down, OP can express their fear of dealing with her outbursts, and then establish rules with her. If she acts the same way again, there should be \"punishment\" measures. For example, the two can easily talk about the things they are unhappy with towards each other, and OP can bring up the issue of her outbursts. And they can plan that if OP makes the same mistake again or if the girl is unable to control herself again, they will contribute money to a joint account, which can be used as a travel fund or something else. \u2463 Follow-up plans: All the above measures are based on OP's desire to continue with the girl. How does OP really feel about these outbursts deep down? If OP wants to continue with the girl, they need to reflect on whether their words were inappropriate and have a calm conversation with the girl, asking her what specifically caused her to develop this kind of personality. Once they find out, they can try to help her resolve her issues and express their love and understanding towards her. If OP no longer wants to continue, they should still wait until the girl calms down before telling her about this decision. If they can't bear it anymore, letting go is also a kind of relief. Lastly, warm wishes to OP for a happy life and fulfilling love.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11500
       },
       {
        "question": "What are some good study methods to read a book and take note of the key points?",
        "description": "I am reading a book on procrastination psychology. I've read it once and took notes, but I feel that many parts are still unclear. When I look at my messy notes, I start organizing them again, trying to connect all the methods mentioned in the book. I feel that the book is not very clear in its content. It starts by helping me understand my own procrastination tendencies (through self-reflection) and then suggests a one-week experiment. I feel like the book is just repeating common sense, explaining the factors of procrastination and providing some small techniques. I think of summarizing the procrastination factors as headings and taking notes for each technique. Once I organize the experiment from the week, it's almost like I've finished the book. I've realized that the content of the ebook I downloaded online is slightly different, but overall the same. On the app, it has been revised and looks more organized, without as many stories. I'm thinking of buying the book on the app (since there are many versions of the physical book and I don't understand why they all have the same author and cover, but the size feels more like a manual). I'm thinking of buying an ebook and reading it again. I've gone through the process of reading, taking notes, and organizing them three times already, but I'm still considering buying another ebook. Is it necessary? Do you have any good reading methods or note-taking formats that can help me remember the key points by just reading it once?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, work and study, student growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Actually, if I say it's necessary, would you continue to do it? If I say it's not necessary, would you be more determined that there are deficiencies in your study methods? I suggest that you follow your own feelings. Whether this study method is really suitable for you, after all, it varies from person to person. Other people's advice can only be auxiliary and cannot make the final decision. Many times when we read a book, we are focused on the present feelings and once we finish reading, it's done. After a while, maybe we remember a little about the characters and plot, or maybe we forget everything completely. This is actually normal. \"But you can go further: read while reflecting on what is good about this book, why is it good? What is not good, how can it be improved? What can I learn from it, what can I think about?\" For example, recently I've been reading \"So, is everything the fault of childhood?\" I wanted to read this book to understand the influence of my family of origin on me. (Reading with a purpose) What's good about this book is that it will help me understand myself better and also introduce me to many knowledge areas I haven't encountered before. What's not good is that it has a lot of technical terms, not many examples, and personally, I find it a bit dry. It would be better if it could include more examples from everyday life. I can learn from it how to analyze myself from my family of origin, how to get to know myself again, and how to build good relationships with others. (During the process, I use mind maps to jot down important information from the book, and I also recommend you to try it. Mind maps can be done with software or handwritten, depending on your preference.) So, many times, what we read from a book is not necessarily important. What you think during this process is the most important. Because in this process, you are thinking and internalizing knowledge. Remember, when we are learning, the most difficult part is not collecting or organizing reading notes, but internalizing. Internalizing is the process of turning information into knowledge and then into the ability to solve problems. This process is not easy, so much so that many people feel like they've read a lot of books but don't feel like they've learned anything, it's a bit superficial. I recommend you to read Mr. Cheng Jia's \"Study Effectively\". I've been reading it recently too. Let's study well together. I hope this can help you. Have a good morning, afternoon, and night.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, you are a very serious person!! Warmly feels that in regards to the reading method you mentioned, it is effective to read the table of contents before reading the book. The table of contents is like a mind map summarized by the author. Of course, it's not just a quick glance, but rather to imagine based on the table of contents, think about what each chapter is about, and note down any doubts or questions next to the corresponding chapter. When you come across those parts while reading the book, read and savor them carefully. Warmly likes to make marks in the book, especially for books with strong academic nature. Of course, if you think marking in the book is messy, you can skip this step. Because Warmly feels that taking notes often involves copying the content of the book word by word. Without your own understanding, blindly copying the book may not have a good effect. Moreover, our thinking will focus more on copying, without deeper thinking. Warmly believes that reading is for the purpose of practical application, rather than just reading for the sake of it. A good book is definitely not simply expressing the author's views. It has been refined over time, and can still inspire modern readers in the present. Warmly likes to let their imagination run wild when reading, relating many things in their own life to the theories mentioned in the book. Warmly enjoys reading in a relaxed state, because \"without the distraction of music, without the toil of documents\". Moreover, when you are relaxed, the utilitarian aspect is not as strong, and you may achieve unexpected results. Finally, I hope this is helpful to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12842
       },
       {
        "question": "16-year-old girl, starting from a very young age, fantasizes about one or several non-existent people?",
        "description": "I am quite sensitive and stubborn in my heart, and I am unwilling to confide in others no matter what happens. I feel really uncomfortable inside, so I imagine having a \"sister\" to accompany me and talk to her every day. Later, I gradually perfected her, from her name and background to how we met. Her identity also changed from sister to lover, and I have always controlled and balanced it with normal life. However, recently, I have encountered some bad things, and she became somewhat uncontrollable. The things she tells me have become more and more negative. She now tells me that nobody loves me, only she can be with me all the time. She says I'm crazy, and in my consciousness, we even fight each other, but she always suppresses me. Now my behavior and way of thinking are becoming more and more like hers. I feel like she wants to imprison me. Am I sick? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I have carefully read your question, and your current confusion is about not being able to control the person you have created in your imagination, which has even started to seriously affect you and worry if you are actually sick. In your question, I can feel the importance of this \"sister\" to you when you feel lonely and uncomfortable being alone, but find it difficult to reach out and communicate with others. She is like the other half of you inside your body, where you understand each other without words and deeply trust each other. This is the only place where you can find solace. In the presence of this \"sister,\" you feel safe and don't have to worry about the harm and troubles that exist in real-life relationships between people. This is your corner and yours alone, reserved for your \"sister.\" However, you are aware that all of this is just a figment of your imagination, and that the \"sister\" can only exist in your mind. What's heartwarming is that even though you know that this \"sister\" is just a product of your own mind, you still embrace her warmly. However, you are still confused as to why your \"sister\" has recently become somewhat uncontrollable. Perhaps you have noticed that you are undergoing changes, which are the growth and transformation within yourself. Just like when we were children and fantasized about being a doctor or a teacher, except we didn't expand and enrich our imagination to that extent, but this internal \"object\" has always silently influenced us until one day it emerges from within and becomes our true self. This is the growth of our soul. Therefore, there is no need to worry. On the contrary, you can calm down and listen to what message this \"sister\" wants to convey to you. If you truly experience this transformative growth, I wonder what you would say to your past self? You can hold a farewell ceremony for yourself and truly learn to grow and respect your growth. Of course, we hope that you can step into the real world, hone and improve yourself in the state and feeling of the \"sister.\"",
          "has_label": true,
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           {
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! When children don't have playmates, they may play and interact with toys, and they may also communicate and play with imaginary companions. In children's movies, the protagonists often have a little sprite as their companion. So it is normal for you to imagine having a sister to accompany you when you were young. Now that you are 16 years old, it is a period when your sense of self begins to form, and you start to think about many questions. For example, who am I? What kind of person am I? What kind of person do I want to be? In this process, you care a lot about how others perceive you, and whether their perception matches your own. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are your abilities? These thoughts trouble you. Because you don't want to confide in others, you can't find a way to relieve your inner anguish. Therefore, you have continued to use the methods from your childhood, letting your imaginary sister grow with you. The conflict between you and your sister is actually a conflict between your subjective self (i.e. your sister) and your objective self. The subjective self refers to how you see yourself. The objective self refers to how others see you. If you feel that your sister is becoming more and more negative, it indicates that you are currently dissatisfied with yourself because others think your negativity and negative energy are not good. And you cannot find a way to change the situation. Therefore, you feel like your sister is increasingly out of control, but it is actually because you can't control yourself. So what should we do? First, reconcile with your sister. Understand why she cannot be controlled, and once you accept her, you accept yourself. Second, communicate with your sister using positive, encouraging words. Third, in real life, dare to find someone you can trust and confide in them about your thoughts, seeking help and understanding, gradually distancing yourself from your imaginary sister. Fourth, you should recognize that you are now older and have your own independent thoughts and emotions. You can grow by learning and using the power of knowledge. Fifth, if you can't solve the problem yourself, seek help from a psychologist. I hope I can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP, after reading your description, it seems like your situation is quite concerning. Research in psychology has found that when people are unable to cope with difficulties in their real life or can't tolerate emotional distress, they may temporarily detach themselves from reality and imagine how they would handle those difficulties, creating a world of fantasy where they can find inner balance and achieve satisfaction that they can't experience in real life. Based on your description, when you feel lonely, you imagine this sister figure who can accompany you and talk to you, and later she transforms into a romantic partner. Essentially, you are using fantasy to fulfill needs that cannot be met in reality. This is a defense mechanism that you have developed since a young age. However, from a perspective of mental health development, fantasy is a more primitive defense mechanism that is commonly used by younger children. As we grow older, we should gradually adapt to the real world and transition from fantasy to reality. If you continue to stay in the world of fantasy and even struggle to distinguish between fantasy and reality, it can be quite dangerous. As you mentioned, when your state of mind is not stable, she becomes somewhat uncontrollable, and her words become increasingly negative. In your consciousness, you may even have fights with her, but your behavior and way of thinking more and more resemble her. You feel that she wants to imprison you. All of these are fantasies that blur the boundary between fantasy and reality, and it is something that requires serious attention from you! My suggestion is to seek psychological counseling. Pay more attention to your breathing and the sensations in your body, engage your five senses - eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and body. Be more aware of and accept yourself, live in the present moment, return to reality, and experience what is true!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Actually, in life, most people have their own fantasies. But as long as it can be controlled by one's own will, it is fine. However, from your question, it seems that the object of your recent fantasy is no longer under control. Moreover, at present, this person you fantasize about seems to be becoming more specific, as if it truly exists in your heart. So I would like to ask a question, have you been experiencing auditory hallucinations? You mentioned that your will is not being controlled, and in your thoughts you argue with her, and she always says negative things. This sounds like auditory hallucinations. I suggest you go to a professional hospital and have a medical examination. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, relax more. Try to find friends in reality, communicate more with people in real life, don't immerse yourself too much in fantasies, as this can easily lead to psychological problems. You can also try activities like running, drawing, listening to music, etc., to help relax and distract your attention. I hope this helps you, keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7365
       },
       {
        "question": "A 25-year-old man suddenly found himself isolated and disconnected from the outside world.",
        "description": "I live in a repressed rural family, and I am naturally sensitive. From childhood to adulthood, I have had very little heart-to-heart communication with others. I have never had a romantic relationship in reality and have extremely low self-esteem. My family and loved ones cannot give me healthy love, and I cannot find anyone to confide in. I can't continue writing, as the lack of emotional connection in the long term is almost unbearable for me.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, mental crisis, trauma therapy, behavioral abnormalities.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, take the initiative to make friends and stay in touch with them regularly. Perhaps you can also focus on improving your skills and choose something you enjoy doing, putting effort into doing it well. Cultivate some abilities in your life, as having skills will help enhance your confidence. Perhaps you can also make your life more fulfilling by engaging in activities that interest you. Encourage and cheer yourself on more often, giving yourself ample energy and warmth. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8729
       },
       {
        "question": "I constantly have thoughts about those things after watching too much pornography. What should I do?!",
        "description": "I can understand that you're feeling distressed and overwhelmed by these thoughts. However, as an AI language model, I cannot provide professional help or advice. It would be best to seek guidance from a mental health professional or therapist who can support you in managing and understanding these thoughts in a healthy way. They can provide appropriate strategies and techniques to help you cope with intrusive thoughts and maintain your mental well-being.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsions, sexual desires, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You feel like you can't control the thoughts in your mind, and these thoughts stimulate your sexual desire to a point where you can't stop. This uncontrollable state feels torturous to you. And you know that these uncontrollable thoughts come from pornography. Since you are already aware of the negative impact that pornography has on your brain, you need to find ways to reduce these excessive stimuli. Use a gradual method to control the viewing time and slowly reduce the time spent watching. If you can't control it yourself, don't blame yourself too much. At the same time, you need to understand that you may already be in an addictive state and external help is needed. Consider whom you can seek help from. If you are still a teenager and you notice that your parents are open-minded and won't react harshly, find a way to communicate with them and express your determination to solve this problem. Ask them to help you seek professional assistance, which is the best solution. If approaching your parents is not feasible, you can also seek help from a trusted adult or seek assistance from professionals to brainstorm solutions together.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           {
            "start": 79,
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           },
           {
            "start": 143,
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           },
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9421
       },
       {
        "question": "Want to improve myself, but having conflicts with my husband, feeling misunderstood in my pursuit for success.",
        "description": "I am a bipolar patient and I am not satisfied with my current job. I want to improve myself and have better career opportunities by obtaining certifications. Right now, I work with my husband and he has a heavy workload that requires me to help him. However, now I am focusing more on studying for the certification exams and I cannot help him as much. This has caused him to neglect some things, and I find myself blaming him for it. He often mocks me, saying that if I want to study, I should just go to school (if circumstances allow, I really want to), and even throws away my books. I truly feel like I married the wrong person. He doesn't even understand my desire to work towards what I want. This marriage is really terrible.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concept of marriage, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Based on your description and comprehensive analysis, I support your perseverance in learning and enriching yourself. The pace of social development is now very fast, and the knowledge we possess today may be replaced by new knowledge tomorrow. If we don't actively explore and learn, we will quickly fall behind the pace of social development and eventually be eliminated by society. The factors that affect our continuous development are no longer the same as before. Now, what matters is learning ability and innovation. Without learning and innovation, society cannot develop and the country cannot make progress. I don't know what kind of work you are engaged in, but learning does not necessarily have to come at the expense of work and life. We can use the spare time outside of work and life to study. Besides the time needed to maintain a normal work and life routine, we have plenty of time to learn. This kind of time is actually abundant, but it is generally overlooked because it is scattered. Learning is an accumulative and slow process, and it should be arranged reasonably according to one's own practical conditions. It takes time to build up and cannot be rushed. Finding a balance between life, work, and study is essential, considering the objective existence of realistic conditions. You clearly recognize the importance of learning, and you also need the support of people around you. Be cautious in communicating with your husband, make appropriate choices, and let him know that your pursuit of knowledge is for a better future for both of you. Encourage him to join the learning process as well, so that both of you can support each other and make the most of the value of scattered time. Finally, I wish you can solve this issue as soon as possible and do what you want to do, without leaving any regrets!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19733
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling that a memory is not real, but unable to defeat it logically?",
        "description": "I just realized something very important, and I feel like it's a false memory. However, I can't convince myself logically. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Memories are generally related to emotions and can be activated by situations. Memory is the brain's ability to recognize, retain, reproduce, or recognize things based on past experiences. When memories are false, the process of recognition is affected if our emotions are too tense or we experience excessive stress, stimulating the brain and causing hormonal imbalances. Alternatively, if there is poor circulation or reasons like experiencing chills or palpitations during sleep, hormonal imbalance may occur, preventing the brain from resting completely. Furthermore, dissatisfaction with the current situation in the subconscious mind may lead to a sense of false memory. It is also possible that memories are \"misplaced\" during the storage process, referring to the process of meaningful encoding where the coding is mistakenly assigned. This can also create a sense of falseness. You can try to relax and then recall that portion of memory. May the words accompany you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5126
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it a bit too idealistic to believe that one can be self-sufficient without seeking external help?",
        "description": "Is it a bit too idealistic to think that we possess everything we need within ourselves without seeking external validation? We also need to pursue the life that we desire.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, and the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Idealism, materialism, nihilism, and apathy. These are paths for individuals to understand their relationship with themselves and the world. I don't know your age and life experiences, but from your description, it seems that we also need to pursue the life we desire. This indicates that what you want and what is currently in your mind are not aligned, so you are unable to find fulfillment from within and have to seek satisfaction externally. However, when the two are in alignment, there is no need for external seeking. Do you think this is true?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6572
       },
       {
        "question": "13-year-old girl, no emotional impact during the day, but becomes distraught and tears up at night, with thoughts of self-harm.",
        "description": "I have experienced many bad things around me, and I try to escape from them, but I find myself getting deeper and deeper into it. I have been suffering from insomnia for a long time, crying, and having unstable emotions. I cannot control my temper in front of my parents, but I am very good-tempered towards others. I use self-harm as a way to release stress, and I pretend to hide my emotions, becoming disinterested in everything. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-harm.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, in your life, many bad things have happened and you want to escape. But you have also realized that escaping cannot truly solve the problem, right? Our minds are very complex, like an iceberg. What we can consciously perceive and be aware of is often only a small part above the water's surface, while the larger part is submerged, unseen by us. The problems we dare not face and choose to avoid have not truly disappeared; they have just been suppressed deep within our hearts, where we cannot see them. However, just because we cannot see them does not mean they do not exist; they still deeply impact us. During the day, we may still have rational control, but at night, these suppressed parts often emerge more recklessly. Your insomnia, unstable emotions, tears, and difficulty controlling your temper may all be expressions of these suppressed emotions. I wonder what exactly the \"bad things\" you mentioned are. Is there a better way than choosing to run away? For example, can you talk to someone about it or seek help from others? You may lose your temper with your parents because they are the closest people to you, and you feel safest in front of them. Perhaps your suppressed emotions are related to your parents, and they are more likely to trigger your emotional switch. So, instead of getting angry, can you have a good conversation with your parents? Expressing your anger is your way of communication, but in your parents' eyes, they cannot understand it. They only see your temper, but they cannot see the pain in your heart. Self-harm and disguising yourself are just temporary solutions that do not address the root cause. If these issues are already out of control and beyond your own ability to regulate, I suggest letting your parents take you to see a mental health professional. Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9312
       },
       {
        "question": "After breaking up, are there any medications that can alleviate your emotions?",
        "description": "I love her so much, but she left me. Besides psychological therapy, are there any medication treatments available? I feel self-blame, anxiety, depression, and regret. I have no interest in anything and feel hopeless without her. She was my emotional support because I have no outstanding qualities or anything to brag about, only with her do I have confidence and something to boast about. She asked me to wait for a month and then decide whether to reconcile or not. But there are still 32 days left, and I don't know how to spend these 32 days. Time seems to pass so slowly, every day is unhappy and uncomfortable, and I miss her. So I want to ask if there are any medications that can help me endure until I meet her in 32 days.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, trauma treatment, mental disorders.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, give you a hug of love. It is indeed very painful to experience a breakup, but think about it, almost everyone goes through it. It is a process of growth, not an end. Dear, it's better to let go of this kind of love. Because according to your logic - you are worthless, while she shines brightly - it is very normal for her not to be interested in you. So your hope for reconciliation is not hope, it is a luxury. You said, \"She asked me to wait for a month before deciding on getting back together...\" and you are worried that she is just leading you on. Here, I want to say, if you throw yourself into society to sharpen your courage, or focus on studying and improving your abilities, when you become excellent, would you still worry about not being loved? Finally, I want to say that begging and showing weakness cannot bring you what you want, let alone love. If there is any medicine, I hope I can give you a two-word pill: \"self-strengthening.\" As the old saying goes, plant a phoenix tree and a phoenix will come. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 943
       },
       {
        "question": "How do I console a girl who was sexually assaulted when she was a child?",
        "description": "As a novice counselor, how can I comfort a girl who was sexually abused in her childhood? I feel so heartbroken after listening to her experience. As a fellow girl, why did she have to go through such a thing?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, may I help you? I'm glad to answer your questions. I've read your question. I know that you have studied psychology and are currently a novice counselor, and the visitor you encountered does indeed need help for the trauma she has experienced, which will likely require a long-term process. If you want to conduct in-depth counseling, it is recommended to do so under the supervision of a professional teacher. As a novice counselor, we can help her with simple \"bandaging\". In your question, you expressed sympathy and sorrow for this little girl, which is understandable. However, as counselors, we should be aware that these emotions can bring us potential problems. [Potential Problems] First, these emotions may affect the normal progress of our counseling sessions. In psychology, this phenomenon is called \"countertransference,\" which refers to the counselor resonating with the emotions and feelings in the visitor's experiences. If these emotions are not dealt with in a timely manner, they can easily affect ourselves and prevent us from effectively helping the visitor. If these emotions accumulate for a long time, they may also have adverse effects on our mental health as counselors. Here, I recommend a psychological technique called \"detachment,\" which is to have a good awareness of the negative emotions that arise in us during counseling. When we find that our emotions are similar to those of the visitor, we should remind ourselves, \"These emotions come from the visitor, not from me. I should prevent these emotions from affecting me.\" Secondly, these emotions can convey our sympathy to the visitor, which may make the visitor feel that her experience is shameful and unacceptable. As counselors, we have studied psychology and need to distinguish between general emotional experiences and the counseling relationship. Although sympathy can convey care and help, because of the counselor's special identity, if sympathy is conveyed, it means that we have a negative evaluation of the visitor's experience, and we believe that the visitor's experience is shameful and unacceptable. This potential message transmission makes it more difficult for the visitor to accept her own experience and is not conducive to her recovery from the painful experience. Therefore, as counselors, we should approach any experience and issue from the visitor with a neutral attitude, without any evaluative attitude or emotions, even if the visitor tells us something that makes us angry. We must maintain a neutral attitude in our questioning and counseling. Only when we, as counselors, feel that this experience is not a big deal can the visitor truly find a sense of security and identification from the counselor and gradually be guided out of the shadows to embrace a better future.",
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       {
        "question": "37-year-old woman, why have I been feeling inexplicably sad all of a sudden in the past six months?",
        "description": "Feel that the first half of life left behind many regrets, but life is already more than halfway, so it's too late to change. Often regretting my decisions, could it be a bit of depression?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I think there are too many regrets in the first half of my life. Nothing has developed in the direction I imagined, and I often regret the decisions I have made and envision the outcome of another decision. There are always regrets in life, but without regrets, you won't know how things would have developed according to what you wanted. Actually, when I saw your title, I had a question: how can a 37-year-old woman consider her life half over? Everyone defines their own life, so why is the life you defined for yourself so short? As time passes, what remains are deep imprints and many scars on your body, along with a weathered heart. The regrets I wanted to leave you, deeply regretted but unable to change, can also bring learning. It is through making that choice that you learned the answer you wanted, deeply engraved in your mind, laying the foundation for your future choices. Life is halfway over, unable to be changed, but there are changes that you have yet to understand. Pondering your own life after several decades have passed, if it doesn't go as you wished, at this point in time, perhaps unexpected setbacks have appeared on your life path, and you have realized that you made the wrong choices. Imagine the scene when you made that choice. Did it bring you happiness and joy, even if it was fleeting? Every choice has its pros and cons, just like choosing the science track for the college entrance exam. But if your grades have not improved, you may regret why you didn't choose the humanities track. However, for that student, memory was not their strong point, and their logical thinking abilities could earn more points. It's just that they did not utilize that period of time well - not quite at their prime, yet unable to retire peacefully. But this age is the most critical period for you to make changes. You can't abandon everything, but please love yourself. The past can't be repeated, but you can still make changes for yourself. Even if you may bear a heavy burden of responsibility, the road ahead is still long. How can you live for yourself if you let this burden crush you? Suggestions: 1. Start by setting a goal for your future path and gradually work towards achieving it. 2. If you don't have a goal, try exploring a direction that you like and can accept, and find your life goal.",
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          "answer_text": "Life is inevitably filled with many regrets; not many people can say they have never regretted anything. Recently, I heard a teacher say that our brains actually have biases when it comes to memories of the past, and there are often negative biases, especially when it comes to self-evaluation. Once a negative evaluation is formed, the brain continuously organizes \"evidence\" to prove it, thus weaving a lot of evidence that we are not good enough. However, from an objective perspective, this may not necessarily be true. For example, if you were to ask a trustworthy and impartial friend, they would evaluate you based on your objective achievements and so on. Rationally speaking, knowing that this brings many undesirable effects, we unconsciously spend a lot of time and energy on this matter. We must train ourselves to frequently recognize this point and be aware of its impact. The past can only be remembered and cannot be changed, but the future is uncertain and can be different. Instead of expending energy dwelling on the past, it is better to spend energy envisioning the future. Imagine if this current worry suddenly disappeared and no longer affected your life, and everything that followed developed as you wished, that would be an impossible miracle. What would you see yourself as in ten years? What kind of life would you have? And how does this miracle relate to the first small thing you do when you open your eyes tomorrow? What is that thing? Who will be the first to notice the difference in you?",
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          "answer_text": "OP, everyone's life will have many regrets, and everyone will have things they haven't accomplished or ideal states they haven't reached. Perhaps when looking back on the past, these regrets become the most dazzling things on your journey, they can help you recall many experiences. They may also serve as warning signs on your future path, helping you reduce some regrets and regrets in your future life. There is still a long life waiting for you to explore in the future, and these past regrets can help you more keenly discover opportunities or help you try not to miss out on things. In the future, you may be more cautious and serious in striving for what you want, while also gaining more experience. I hope you can relax physically and mentally in your daily life. The past is the past, and when facing similar situations in the future, you can think back to past regrets to help you accomplish things more effectively. However, maybe don't easily dwell on or ponder about it in your daily life, as it may make you fall into the pain and regret of reminiscence. Best wishes!",
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        "questionID": 12775
       },
       {
        "question": "Men always lie, and they do it really calmly.",
        "description": "Men always love to lie and seem so calm when they speak false words as if they are telling the truth.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, escapism",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the perspective of someone who has been lied to, we all want to associate with people who are honest and trustworthy. Lying makes us feel deceived. From the perspective of the liar, I believe they are also not feeling well. The movie \"The Devotion of Suspect X\" by Keigo Higashino offers an interpretation of lying: hiding the truth is painful. Even if you grasp happiness while harboring a secret, it will likely not bring true happiness. In the popular film \"I Am Happy\" in the first half of this year, the male protagonist also ended up divorced due to lying, but that doesn't mean he is unforgivable. Therefore, if he is your family member or loved one, you need to understand the reasons and intentions behind his lies.",
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        "questionID": 11939
       },
       {
        "question": "The motivation to learn English sometimes fluctuates, and it feels like the more I study, the more tired I get.",
        "description": "I have been working for seven years after graduating from college. I really liked English when I was in college, and now I want to learn English in my spare time. So I bought an online course. But why do I feel more and more tired when I study during normal times? I feel particularly sleepy when learning new words and phrases. However, when I try to read English books before bedtime, I feel wide awake. It's like when I want to be awake, I feel tired, and when I don't want to be awake, I feel energized. What's wrong with me? Can you give me some advice, experts? Thank you!",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear author. It's nice to meet you. First of all, I really admire your motivation. Not everyone can pick up past knowledge like you do. However, I think learning English now must be very different from before, at least in terms of learning environment and mindset, so it's understandable that you are having some difficulties adjusting.-----------------------------------------------------During your college years, you liked English a lot, but it has been seven years since graduation. Now, during your free time, you bought an online course and wanted to continue learning. However, you found that you get increasingly tired when studying. In occupational physiology, there is a description that \"fatigue\" and \"fatigue-like state\" are actually different. One is the actual feeling of energy being exhausted and projected by the body, and the other is an individual stress state caused by little change in the work environment, including decreased alertness and boredom. And both of them can create a feeling of fatigue. I used to experience the same thing during a long period of learning English. I spent money and treated it as a task that had to be completed. Moreover, the process of learning new words was very boring, which ultimately triggered a stress state: I slept enough, but felt sleepy as soon as I started studying. Of course, this is also related to the mindset you hold: you may have been more focused and dedicated to studying in college because you had an academic reason that required you to learn English, and the positive feedback was also quicker. But now, having a job, learning English is actually an extra thing, not a necessity. When it becomes something you have to do (because you bought the course), there is resistance in your heart, and the delayed feedback creates a vicious cycle of resistance and \"feeling tired\". However, the English book you read at night is a continuous argument, not a few isolated words and phrases, so the level of boredom is reduced. And when we no longer see it as a task that must be completed, the pressure is reduced, and our more emotional favoritism may be aroused, so you become more spirited the more you read it.-----------------------------------------------------Based on my personal life experience, I hope these thoughts will be helpful to you. It is very important to find a goal or reason to persist in learning. If you still consider learning English as a leisure activity, with a mindset of being able to learn or not, the situation of getting more and more tired may not improve. For example, deciding to take an exam and setting a goal will give you a direction to strive for. Choose a learning method that suits you. You feel more energized when reading English books, so reading books may be a suitable learning method for you. Learning new words and phrases is already a very boring process, and you have also devoted energy to your job since you graduated many years ago. Therefore, a suitable, enjoyable, and flexible learning method is even more important, such as listening to English songs or speeches. Give yourself a sense of ritual when studying, clear the desk, switch your phone to airplane mode, and then quietly give yourself 45 minutes of uninterrupted study time. This is also a way to concentrate. Finally, if you have trouble sleeping, you can try doing some bedtime yoga or meditation. I hope my thoughts can be helpful to you.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, I will try to provide a few explanations from a psychoanalytic perspective. Seeing your state of learning English, I can imagine you dozing off when you see English books or words, which is very cute! I think this is also the state that everyone who wants to learn English but struggles with it experiences. So let me do a little analysis: not being able to learn English well may be due to a poor relationship with English or a poor relationship with learning. Why is it not good? Because since childhood, there has never been a time when you studied for yourself. You completed homework for the teacher, took exams for your parents, and did summer homework. None of it was for your own curiosity and interest. Try to repair and heal your relationship with \"learning\", just like you did when you fell in love. From the initial acquaintance to getting along, from getting along to falling in love, and then being in love. Have a relationship with this \"student\" named \"learning\" without breaking up, plan a few imperfect \"dates,\" create some occasional \"surprises,\" and prepare some \"gifts\" for them. The relationship will gradually warm up, and the immediate effect of learning will start to appear. Not being able to learn English well may be because we fear betraying our native language's defense. Teacher Zeng Qifeng once told a little story: after teaching for over 30 years and visiting various places around the world, he still retains a Hubei accent, and his Mandarin has never been very good. The reason is that his subconscious needs to hold onto loyalty to himself and to Hubei. Otherwise, he may feel guilty for betraying his native language and culture, and the internal social morality (the superego) may punish and suppress him. When we see this reason in our subconscious, we can understand our confusion and anxiety in not being able to learn English well. We can tell ourselves that learning English will not cause our superego to suppress or punish us, but rather, it will allow us to better disseminate culture, our thoughts, feelings, etc. Then you will gradually find yourself on the path to learning English. Thank you for meeting, and I look forward to your acceptance.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Title: Hello! I heard that you have picked up your love for learning English and are interested in studying through online courses. However, you feel that your motivation to learn is sometimes strong and sometimes weak, and you don't have control over it, right? Why not compare your current learning environment with the past? In the past, there were several external factors that were beneficial, such as face-to-face teaching from teachers to help with study plans and progress, studying with classmates, and the motivation provided by exams as goals. Now, online courses can barely replace teachers, and these two external factors, classmates and exams, are not as clear. If the online course has a learning community, you may find the feeling of \"classmates\" there. If the online course does not have a platform or forum for communication, you can also try going to other online communities where English enthusiasts gather to explore and gain insights on their learning methods, recommended reading materials, and their learning experiences. This way, you can broaden your horizons and share the benefits that come from learning together. Ideally, online courses should have a course framework and unit tests, which can be fully utilized to guide your learning progress. However, please be mindful not to progress too quickly. It is more appropriate to choose a pace that is suitable for your leisure learning. After all, unlike when you were a student, learning is now only done after work, and you have less energy and time compared to before, so it is important to manage the pace of your learning. Perhaps you need some time to find the right pace, so even if your learning progress is inconsistent in the early stages of taking online courses, you don't have to worry too much. As long as your interest in learning remains, you naturally won't easily give up on learning and will have perseverance. This means that even if you are not consciously aware of it, as long as you persist in learning, you are embodying confidence. Through patient perseverance, you will find the learning pace that suits you. Additionally, in terms of learning methods, you can also categorize the learning contents and allocate time for studying based on the different content. For example, reading before bed is suitable, while other free time before bed may be better spent on online courses. Because online course learning can be more stressful compared to reading, it may not be suitable for the relaxed state of mind needed before bed.",
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          "answer_text": "Hello. I can see your love for English. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so energized at night reading English books. After all, people are full of energy when they're doing something they love. Regarding online courses, they can become like lullabies. This can only mean that the teaching method of the online course you signed up for didn't suit you or even appeal to you. I am an example myself. During my free time, I signed up for an online course, but the teaching method didn't engage me. After being at home during the pandemic for more than half a year, I didn't feel like studying. Later, I signed up for another online course at a different training institution that I really enjoyed. Even now, despite being busy with work, I continue to study every day, even when I'm tired at night. I feel that if the teaching method doesn't click with you, it's better not to study at all. Otherwise, it will wear down your motivation and dampen your enthusiasm for English. Find a learning method that you can connect with, and look for courses that cater to your learning habits. It may be a waste of some money, but you can regain your hope for English. Good luck.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think the questioner can change their language learning method. Memorizing vocabulary and taking online courses are too focused on exams and can be very painful. Language learning should ultimately be applied in daily life to remember it well, without becoming too dull. If you're not in a hurry to take a test, you can completely learn a language by watching American TV shows, reading original novels, and conversing with native speakers. Then, you can consolidate what you've learned by rephrasing or writing down the content you've seen in your own language. Like the questioner, if you feel drowsy when memorizing vocabulary (because it's too boring), but feel energetic when reading foreign books (because it's content you're interested in), doesn't that show something? Reading foreign books is also a form of learning and is much more efficient than just reading grammar books and memorizing vocabulary. So why not learn in a way that is more comfortable and interesting to you? In your free time, you can pay more attention to foreign English websites or social media, immerse yourself in the language as much as possible, increase exposure and familiarity. Maybe one day you'll suddenly find yourself effortlessly speaking fluent English. As for reading before bed to help you sleep, I suggest choosing some very difficult and hard-to-understand professional books. I believe that after reading for a while, you'll feel sleepy. Do not choose captivating novels, as you will only get more engrossed the more you read.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Studying after work is not easy. There are work-related matters that require mental effort, and in the spare time, one must concentrate on learning. It really requires self-discipline. Many people may just think about it, but you have already bought online courses and put them into action. Well done. Now, after a period of studying, you have found that your state of mind is not quite right and you want to find some methods to make adjustments, right? I have thought of three points that I hope will be useful to you. 1. Motivation: Increase some factors that can drive yourself. First of all, you liked English very much in college, and it is probably something that you are good at. This intrinsic motivation is already there. Why did you like English at that time? From this perspective, is it possible to dig out some more motivation? Also, is it possible to find some external motivation to push yourself, such as having an exam tomorrow, which would greatly increase our motivation to study. Another question, what is the underlying need for wanting to learn this English? What help would achieving the level you want provide for you? 2. Strategy: Strategically speaking, besides taking online courses, are there any other supplementary methods, or are there more opportunities to implement the specific methods advocated in the online courses, assuming they are available. What methods did you use in college? If studying with a partner can lead to mutual reinforcement, are there any small groups in the online course or friends around you who are studying together? Sharing and receiving feedback after studying can promote enthusiasm for learning. Having practical applications can also lead to a sense of achievement. 3. Energy: You mentioned that sometimes you are energetic, sometimes not. So, besides the above points, it is also necessary to see when you have more energy and which time period is more suitable for studying English. It may not be possible to do too much. If there is a certain period of time in a day when you can concentrate and focus, that would be great. Having some is better than having none. 4. Environment: The environment is also very important. Set a fixed time and environment for yourself to form a habit. Gradually, when you are in this environment at this time, you will be able to quickly get into the right state. Have you set up such a suitable environment? There is no perfect solution, adjustments need to be made through practice. Keep it up!",
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          "answer_text": "Hello, friend! As an English enthusiast, I can understand the confusion you are experiencing and can relate to your current state of mind. Coincidentally, I have been helping my relative's child with their English studies recently, and I would like to share some insights with you. Why do you want to learn English? Continuing to study English after many years of work is not something that ordinary people do, and I genuinely admire your determination and courage. I would like to ask: do you have any specific goals for learning English this time? Such as promotion, job titles, or improving professional skills... From your narrative, I did not find a clear objective. Allow me to speculate: perhaps it is out of interest and a desire for knowledge. If I guessed wrong, you can add the correct answer. Thank you. A clear goal + time limit + appropriate methods are needed to successfully reach the finish line. My goal in tutoring my relative's child in English is to improve their scores on next year's college entrance exam by 10-20 points, and I have developed a three-stage plan. Having a goal is necessary to have a plan and the possibility of achieving it. Have you found a continuous source of joy in learning English? Feeling more overwhelmed the more you learn may be because the teacher's delivery is not engaging enough, and it may not necessarily be your problem. I spend 20-30 minutes every day tutoring online, and the young girl cooperates actively. She never slacks off and always attends the sessions punctually. We call it a bedtime chat. Of course, as I have been entrusted with this task, I am tireless in teaching. I carefully design our sessions. In the beginning, the focus is on increasing interest and using a rough-and-ready teaching style. Does anyone refuse fun and exciting new information? Why do new words and phrases make you feel sleepy? Are they too difficult? Are they too boring? If new words can be connected to old words, if they can lead to a story, if they can be associated with a movie, would you still want to sleep? Starting from easy and simple learning to reduce difficulty might be a good attempt. Will you still be unenergetic with timely positive feedback? What is the best way to hypnotize? A lullaby from a mother. Trying to learn English by reading before bed may awaken deep anxiety. At that point, the biological clock has already surrendered, and the brain will be stimulated in reverse. If you want to study, study; if you want to sleep, sleep. Learn to listen to your body's signals, replenish energy in a timely manner, and perhaps the brain will be more obedient. The above are my personal experiences, and I hope they can be helpful to you. The road to learning is arduous and lonely. I wish you to achieve a better version of yourself soon. Thank you for allowing me to encounter like-minded individuals and progress together!",
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          "answer_text": "I don't know how OP arranges their time to learn English. It's best to learn new words and phrases when you are mentally refreshed in the morning. As for not being able to sleep at night, that's another issue. It could mean that OP's biological clock needs some adjustment, and adjusting it can also help with learning new things. I suggest planning your time, not necessarily following the same routine every day. For example, study new words intermittently every few days, and read and review the easier ones in the evening, and then study more carefully the next day during the daytime. Also, if watching online courses, when feeling sleepy, you can try listening to some energetic music. Many people do this, and if it's English music, it can help you to know more words and generate more motivation.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for your perseverance and motivation in learning. Not everyone can continue to work hard according to their own interests after graduating for 7 years like you. Since you have already bought online courses and started learning, it shows that you really want to learn English. But now things are different from when you were in school. We have work, social life, and many family matters to take care of. Moreover, after putting down studying for so many years, it's natural to have situations like new words that you can't remember and feeling sleepy. Another possibility is that you might be too tired and want to sleep, or your subconscious mind is resisting learning because it doesn't want you to be too tired. During this time, I suggest that no matter what emotions or state you encounter, accept them first and see the needs behind them. Allow yourself to slow down and accumulate and make changes little by little. At the same time, look at the progress you have made in your learning, give yourself positive affirmation and motivation for your efforts, encourage yourself, and allow yourself to gradually change and better integrate with your current learning pace. Only then can you learn English better. In addition, perhaps without the pressure of memorizing words from English newspapers, you are truly interested in things like content, which is where your interest lies. This is why you won't be hypnotized. I suggest that you follow your true interests, and slowly find a learning pace that suits you. This way, you can achieve more with less effort. Keep it up.",
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        "questionID": 9611
       },
       {
        "question": "At the age of 19, a girl feels guilty in her heart and believes she has let her parents down after having sexual intercourse with her partner.",
        "description": "We have been dating for over two years. My partner and I haven't seen each other for a while, but we are meeting tomorrow. Sometimes, I feel happy but also upset and frustrated. Thoughts about intimacy occasionally make me feel guilty and I have this psychological feeling of letting my parents down.",
        "keywords": "Romance, sexual behavior.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answers can help you: In your description, I see your struggles, conflicts, and inner turmoil. In the traditional history of sexual development, we can see many unscientific views on sex due to social gender roles and societal constructs, filled with sexual \"stigmatization,\" which have influenced generation after generation. For example: ++ sex is dirty, ++ sexual organs are dirty, ++ sexual behavior is dirty, ++ anything related to sex is bad, ++ menstruation is bad and dirty, ++ virginity is good, non-virginity is impure, ++ men can be free, women should be modest, ... These deeply affect our gender perspective, views on sex, and basic sexual concepts. Obviously, in your upbringing, you and your parents have been deeply influenced by this, and cannot truly have a scientific understanding of sex education and sexual issues. However, hidden behind these issues are questions about chastity and fidelity. Whose eyes is chastity really for? In fact, it is a product of a patriarchal society. This also involves the issue of bodily autonomy. In many authoritarian families, children will believe that their bodies are owned by their parents and cannot be disposed of at will, and mistakes need to be determined by their parents, etc. This reflects the old notion of bodily submission. Therefore, in your view, even though you are now an adult, you are still doubting whether you can have sex with someone by using your own body. In the process of sexual development, what we should emphasize more is the right to sexual privacy rather than feelings of shame or bodily submission. Sex and Love: Sex is beautiful, because with love, sex can be beautiful too. Sex is not dirty or sinful. In the process of sex and sexual behavior, the attitude and principles we need are summarized in ten words: \"autonomy, respect, responsibility, health, happiness.\" ## If you engage in sex and love based on voluntary principles, it is okay, otherwise, it is not. ## If it is based on mutual respect, it is okay, if there is no mutual respect, such sexual love is problematic. ## Both parties need to be responsible for each other and themselves, if not, then do not do it. ## It should be conducted based on health and hygiene principles, which require attention to diseases. ## Sex and love should be joyful; if there is no joy and it goes against the will of the partner, then clearly there is a problem. \u03b5 I wish you well. I am here, and the world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give you a big hug. First, you need to understand clearly that you belong to yourself, not to your parents. You are an independent individual, and your parents are just the ones who brought you into the world. You have the freedom to live your own life and make your own choices. Secondly, you need to know what you want for yourself. Can you take care of yourself? Can you be responsible for your own body? Can you take protective measures to prevent harm? As an adult, you have the right to decide how to live your life. But you need to think carefully about whether the current life you're living is the one you truly desire. If you're uncertain, don't rush into anything. Take the time to reflect and follow your heart once you've made up your mind. If you want love, love openly and enjoy the process. If you're stuck, hit the pause button and live a peaceful life until you find clarity. Don't live a stressful life! Wishing you well!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3447
       },
       {
        "question": "Worked hard for four years and didn't get into graduate school, feeling sad, no hope for the future?",
        "description": "In my four years of college, I studied diligently every day to secure a spot in the postgraduate recommendation. I sacrificed a lot to achieve a top ranking in my year. In the end, I ranked fifth, as our school only accepts five students each year. However, I was not selected in the end. The explanation I received from the teacher was that there were only four spots available, despite five people being listed on the application form. I suspect that someone used connections to take my place. It is now already in October, and I hastily prepared for the graduate entrance exam, but unfortunately, I did not pass. The deadlines for other state-owned enterprise exams have also passed. Those classmates who played games all day and had low GPAs are now being recruited by companies. Meanwhile, I feel like I have achieved nothing and I'm very upset. I see my friends showing off their grades, employment, and relationships on social media, and it really makes me jealous. I can't get over it, and I don't know how to motivate myself. I feel like I wasted four years, and I am still without any achievements.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, life meaning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the questioner, you can do it. Having a good academic background means that you have a good foundation. If you have the opportunity in the future, you can try taking the postgraduate entrance examination, if you are willing. Perhaps the concept conveyed by today's society is that of achieving fame and wealth at a young age. It has a great influence on people. In fact, how is it possible to succeed without going through long-term struggles, without experiencing the test of time, without undergoing various tests? There are very few exceptions. We are just ordinary people, extreme outliers. We can only rely on time to slowly accumulate wealth, connections, reputation... There are indeed some people who, after leaving school, have a smooth job and career, everything goes so smoothly, and they still look glamorous. I think it's like everyone running on the same starting line, each person's track is different, so the scenery will be different. But who is the first person to reach the finish line may not necessarily be the one on the innermost lane, and it may not necessarily not be the one on the outermost lane. Everything is just beginning. No accomplishment does not necessarily mean anything, we cannot judge solely based on these. It would be unfair to ourselves. In fact, when you turn around and look back, you will find that many people are not as good as you, whether in the past or now. When you are tired, look back at those who are not as good as you. When you feel a little proud of yourself, look at those who are more excellent ahead. Here is a sentence from \"To Kill a Mockingbird\": Bravery is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. I don't think it's a losing situation for ourselves, right?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20192
       },
       {
        "question": "My best friend heard my mom say that she is not a good person? How should I handle our relationship with my best friend?",
        "description": "When I was on the phone with my mother, my best friend accidentally overheard my mother saying that she is not a good person.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, friends.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The person you spend time with is yourself, and you know best why you have become best friends with her. There must be something about her that attracts you. Your mom does not have close interaction with your best friend, so her evaluation might be one-sided and influenced by some conservative thinking. You can communicate with your mom about the positive aspects of your best friend, and reassure her not to worry too much but to support your friendship. You should also help your best friend adjust her negative emotions because being labeled by elders for no reason can make her feel hurt and upset. You should provide her with warmth and care. As for whether your best friend is a good person, you have your own judgment. No one is perfect, and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. We make friends because we appreciate their strengths and can accept their shortcomings, and we grow and play together as companions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13155
       },
       {
        "question": "23-year-old girl, afraid of finding a job, feels guilty towards her parents.",
        "description": "A 23-year-old female with an introverted personality and some insecurities. Due to the impact of the epidemic, she hasn't been working for many days and has become more reluctant to leave home. She believes she is not suitable for this job and eventually quit. Her parents are anxious for her to find a job, leading to several arguments. For some reason, she is extremely fearful of finding a job, but also feels guilty towards her parents, thinking she is worthless and a burden. She has considered death multiple times as a means to relieve herself, but is also terrified and conflicted about it. She feels that she should die at this moment, to mitigate any further burden on her parents and allow them to live more comfortably.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, guilt and shame, vulnerability and tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, because I am introverted and have low self-esteem, and because of the epidemic, I have been staying at home for a long time and have reduced contact with people. I feel unfamiliar with the outside world and feel fearful, which is understandable. Because of fear, you want to escape. Our actions, emotions, thoughts, etc. all influence each other and form a continuous cycle. Good feelings will make us take positive actions, so as to obtain more positive feelings. Positive feelings can help us do better, thus forming a positive cycle; while emotions such as fear and anxiety will make us withdraw. Withdrawal behavior will lead to self-doubt, so we dare not take action, forming a negative cycle. You may now be in such an important negative cycle. However, do not be afraid. The beginning is always difficult, but as long as you take the first step and move from a negative cycle to a positive cycle, everything will go in a better direction one step at a time. Don't rush, give yourself some time, slowly readjust to this society. You can start with simple and enjoyable things, start with work that does not require too much interaction with others, gradually integrate into this society. Once you start taking action, you will find that it is not as difficult as you imagine. You are an adult now, and it is understandable that parents are worried when they see you not working. They may not know about your fear. But you should know that they are just worrying about you and do not really think you are a trouble. If you leave, it will not make them feel relieved, but will plunge them into endless pain. Can you bear it? Don't be afraid, take it slow, keep going! I believe in you! Hugs to you, the world and I love you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Without you, how could they be doing well? Is their concern for your work just an attempt to take your salary? Of course not. Are they eager for you to make money? No, they are not. They are worried about your future, so they may put some pressure on you. If your future is such a concern for them, how could they not be worried about your safety? Don't easily think that it would be better without yourself because of anyone or anything. The world will still go on without anyone, but a family cannot afford to lose anyone. As for work, I cannot give you good advice. Currently, the pandemic has made finding a job more difficult than before. If you really can't find a job, it's better to take the time to enrich yourself, make a career plan, take care of your family's meals at home, and pay more attention to household hygiene. This way, at least you will feel fulfilled and not useless. Cook a delicious meal, help your parents with the laundry, even if you don't work, your parents will praise you for being responsible. At the same time, think about why you quit your previous job. Did you not like it? What do you like then? Did you find the salary too low? How much salary do you think you can strive for? Set a goal. Is it because you lacked skills? Where are you lacking? What do you want to do? What else do you need besides work experience? Considering these things is much better than being stuck in a dead end. If you really need money, you can consider doing some work from home. For example, drawing portraits for others using a graphics tablet, writing novels online, or doing some game leveling, etc. Life is full of opportunities! Being 23 years old is a good time, and there is still plenty of time to learn some new skills.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21081
       },
       {
        "question": "The spouse's speech is always negative criticism, never speaks nicely. What should I do when I am angry?",
        "description": "My spouse always speaks in a blaming tone, lacks patience with our child and me. They frequently get angry and nitpick. Whenever I try to have a calm conversation with them, they get annoyed. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, expression of emotions, healing methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Understanding that negative communication always has an impact on both you and your child, you can tell her about your feelings and ask her what she ultimately wants with this expression. Is there anything that you haven't done that she expects? If it's reasonable, we can make adjustments; if it's unreasonable, we can discuss better solutions. If communication is not going smoothly between both parties, you can also make an appointment with a mental health teacher on the platform to communicate together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9359
       },
       {
        "question": "About to study abroad, the overseas epidemic is not under control, my parents don't understand?",
        "description": "I just graduated from my senior year as a male student. I was supposed to study abroad this year, but due to the pandemic, I don't think I can go anymore. However, my parents don't understand and think that I am just being playful or unable to get into a good school. They even insult me with their words. I told them that I can go next year instead, but they believe that I just want to have fun. The truth is, I want to study hard when I go abroad, not just for the sake of showing off. My parents keep bringing up the fact that they have spent a lot of money on me, and I don't feel confident enough to take the domestic postgraduate entrance exam. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, work, and learning.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The question is quite simple, and the solution is not difficult either. I had a friend who was in a similar situation as you. He said that before going abroad to study, he couldn't travel due to various circumstances and ended up staying at home and playing around. His parents would ridicule and make sarcastic comments about him daily. Eventually, he felt frustrated and decided to adopt a strategy of \"acting like a pig to eat the tiger.\" Every day, he would make a plan for himself and deliberately schedule time for studying and reading when his parents were around. He would pick up a book and read for a while before allowing himself to play. When his parents would criticize him again, he would show them the completed task list of his plan and say, \"I'm following my plan every day. I am studying, and you can see it too. It's not appropriate to mock me.\" After doing this for a while, his parents couldn't find a valid reason to argue anymore and they stopped. It is quite common to face a lack of understanding from parents. You can find ways and strategies to prevent them from blaming you too much. Whether you are too playful or not, whether you want to study abroad or not, only you know your own situation best. Due to the impact of the pandemic, it is inevitable to lack confidence and a sense of security in both life and studies. It's normal to feel confused about the future as well. I believe that you will study hard when you go abroad, but you can also consider the domestic situation for now. The pandemic is still quite severe overseas. Take advantage of this time to make a good plan and adjust your state of life. Once the pandemic is over, I believe your studying life will be back on track.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You have a very objective understanding of the current studying abroad situation. Indeed, the overseas pandemic has not been brought under control, leading to escalating social unrest. Therefore, going abroad now does carry a higher risk. How do you plan to make an effective transition this year and adequately prepare for studying abroad next year? For example, you can utilize this window of time to find social practice opportunities in China that are relevant to your future field of study. You may also need to make some foundational preparations for your academic studies. If you have a clear plan, communicate it with your parents and take proactive actions, I believe your relationship with them will gradually improve.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21677
       },
       {
        "question": "Can hypnosis be done remotely? I want to recover childhood traumatic experiences.",
        "description": "I seem to recall being sexually abused or molested when I was a child, but I can't remember clearly. I definitely experienced molestation, but I'm unsure if it went any further. I feel very uneasy and I really want to know what happened back then. It's a knot in my mind, and thinking about it makes me feel depressed. But I have no memory of it anymore. When I first found out, I was absolutely certain it was sexual abuse, but I really can't remember. (However, I did fall down when I was a child.) Perhaps the truth can't be retrieved. I'm considering remote hypnosis, not sure if it's possible, or maybe I have to meet a hypnotherapist in person.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, trauma therapy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Remote hypnosis is not infeasible, but it is not recommended. I can't remember whether it was sexual abuse or molestation in childhood; but now, I want to know what happened back then since my innocence is no longer there. It's not that remote hypnosis is completely impossible. After evaluating the problems of some visitors, it has been determined that remote (online) methods can indeed be used, such as adjusting the subconscious mind. If the questioner wants to find the trauma imprint from those years, then remote hypnosis may have some difficult limitations to overcome, such as the possibility of incomplete observation and blind spots. Therefore, if the questioner has to resort to remote hypnosis due to various conditions, the first thing to do is to discuss with the hypnotherapist, who will make a comprehensive evaluation to determine whether remote hypnosis is possible. If it is possible, then there are a few points that must be paid special attention to: \u2460 Is there a match between the hypnotherapist and the visitor? We won't discuss orientation, etc., as hypnosis is a process of establishing a relationship with the visitor's subconscious mind, so whether the visitor can enter the state set by the hypnotherapist is crucial. \u2461 The spatial and hardware settings during hypnosis. In the hypnosis process, great importance is attached to the nonverbal information of the visitor, and the hypnotherapist will cleverly intervene at the appropriate time. In remote hypnosis, the opportunity for actual light touch to reinforce the trauma imprint is lacking. Therefore, if the hypnotherapist cannot observe the nonverbal information in detail, as well as transmit and communicate clearly, it is easy to understand the deviation and will hinder the hypnosis process. It should be noted: the observation point of the video, clarity, stability of the network signal, uninterrupted space and time, etc. \u2462 Does the hypnotherapist have the competence for remote hypnosis? \u2463 Do the visitor and hypnotherapist have the ability to overcome the limitations of remote hypnosis? Remote hypnosis is an indirect interpersonal interaction, sometimes unable to see each other's movements, postures, etc., in real time. This not only easily overlooks many valuable information but also, in case the visitor falls into the experience of past trauma, how to effectively return to the present in remote hypnosis, and how to effectively set up psychological safety island techniques? In conclusion, my suggestion is: for questioners who involve recalling trauma, those with severe mental illness or psychological disorders, or those who find it difficult to enter a hypnotic state, it is best to have face-to-face hypnotherapy. Best wishes to the questioner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Give OP a hug! For many people, sexual abuse can be a serious harm to self, especially when they are young. The damage caused by such behavior is even greater. Now, OP wants to retrieve past memories through hypnosis. In theory, it is possible, but the amount that can be retrieved is unknown. The younger the age, the more difficult it is for self-consciousness to understand, accept, and recognize such things, and the deeper the suppression. This means that only when in a deep state of hypnosis, such memories may be presented and released. This requires the hypnotherapist to constantly pay attention to the changes of OP's mind and body. At this time, many emotional and mental states are expressed through body language. Online hypnosis generally uses audio or video methods, but this method has a drawback. It cannot clearly see the overall facial expressions and body movements of the hypnotized person, making it impossible to promptly discover and interpret the psychological and emotional states of the hypnotized person. This results in a lack of timely and effective understanding, acceptance, and recognition of the emotional and mental states of the hypnotized person, leading to secondary harm. Of course, remote hypnosis can also start by releasing inner emotions in a relaxed manner before repairing past traumas. However, this can also be affected by weather conditions that impact the network signal, and hence the effectiveness of hypnosis. In comparison, face-to-face hypnosis can avoid these problems. However, in such a situation, one should consider choosing a hypnotherapist of the same gender, or choose a suitable hypnotherapist with the presence of family members.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear, for oneself, harassment or sexual assault are significant events, and it must be very painful to have such a significant event not clear in one's mind. Hugs to you! I have experienced both face-to-face hypnosis and remote hypnosis, so I will share my experience with you: / Lost traumatic experience / In this situation, when a child experiences a traumatic event, because the event is too intense, the child will choose to forget the event, in order to defend against the enormous impact on oneself. However, even though it is forgotten in the mind, the body will still have memories. Through hypnosis, we can communicate with the subconscious, evoke bodily and emotional memories, and perhaps you can remember something. / Releasing emotions / Traumatic experiences usually bring tremendous emotions to the victims. We cannot be sure how this childhood experience occurred and how the parents dealt with it. Because the way parents handle it is also significant to a child who has already been injured. If parents can comfort the child well, then the trauma may be more easily accepted by the child; if parents feel ashamed and cannot comfort the child, then it is a secondary injury to the child, and the child will still suppress emotions. \"Suppression\" is mentioned in the description, I wonder what exactly the suppression is? / Hypnosis / Hypnosis can evoke traumatic memories or emotions, but the focus is on processing the traumatic experience and emotions. It's like a wound being exposed, it needs a doctor to clean it and close it up again, so that the wound will gradually heal. Remote video hypnosis can be performed, but you need to have enough sense of safety in your space. However, the advantage of hypnosis in the counseling room is that there is a trusted hypnotist accompanying you. When your emotions come out, the hypnotist can hold you or place their hands on yours, giving you a sense of safety and support, which is helpful for healing the pain. Whether face-to-face or remote hypnosis, the prerequisite is to establish enough trust with the hypnotist. I hope you can open up your emotional knot and have a wonderful future!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16833
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do visitors always cry when they are doing psychological counseling?",
        "description": "Made several psychological consultations, each time was a crying consultation. How can visitors adjust their emotions well? They tend to cry uncontrollably during the consultation, and they don't feel good about themselves. They feel awkward and embarrassed to make eye contact and talk to the counselor. What should they do?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugging the topic host in consultation and crying uncontrollably may indicate that a deep and safe environment and connection have been established between the visitor and the counselor. Actually, for the effectiveness of counseling, it is meaningful. Crying while discussing certain things indicates that these things must be very important, and in the present moment of counseling, the real emotions are touched. When emotions flow, some changes quietly occur. I think counselors are also willing to see visitors release their suppressed sadness and grievances through tears. When visitors mention certain things and cannot help but cry, it must be because certain points in these matters easily touch their emotions, so it is normal to cry as soon as they mention it. The significance of counseling is sometimes to provide visitors with a process of being able to be themselves, to let their emotions be seen and flow freely, and there is nothing to feel embarrassed about. Counselors will not judge visitors for crying.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4574
       },
       {
        "question": "Do everything quickly, okay? Am I unable to empathize?",
        "description": "I do everything very quickly, but I am also very irritable. A few days ago, when discussing reading habits with friends, I realized that I read quickly while they take their time. They said I don't love reading, but I actually feel that I do love reading. Maybe I have difficulty empathizing with them?",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance, student development",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, everyone has their own way of handling things, each has their own strengths and weaknesses, and what matters is whether it helps you grow and reflect. From your description, it seems that you are confused about whether your fast-paced and sometimes impatient way of doing things is good or not. Being quick in your actions may indicate that you are proactive, dislike procrastination, and have decisiveness, not hesitating. However, as you mentioned, there may be some drawbacks, such as impulsiveness, carelessness, or not grasping the essence. It is important to have a comprehensive understanding of these pros and cons, neither underestimating nor becoming arrogant. If this way of doing things affects the people around you or causes you some distress and minor troubles, you can learn to be calm and think before acting. Before taking action, spend a few minutes contemplating or listening to others' suggestions, and then start after considering as many pros and cons as possible, gradually developing this awareness. Pay more attention to the possibilities of things, rather than having a narrow view that blinds you. Reading habits vary from person to person, and it is enough to gain what you want from it. It has weak correlation with the ability of empathy, but not strongly related. By carefully reading and experiencing the stories in the book, and scrutinizing the characteristics and personalities of each character, our ability to empathize can indeed be enhanced. However, empathy is based on understanding. If your fast reading method allows you to have the same profound understanding of characters and stories, it can also generate empathy. Fast reading might help you obtain more information in a certain period of time, knowing the full picture of a story faster than others, but whether you truly understand it depends on your personal abilities, such as memory, thinking, summarizing, etc. Choose a way of handling things that suits you, as long as it doesn't harm others' interests. Choose a reading speed that allows you to understand and grasp the content of the book. Live your life in a way that makes you comfortable. You can listen to others' advice and ideas, but whether you will ultimately change to adapt depends on you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19777
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I break up or drag on with my boyfriend who says he won't marry me if I don't have children?",
        "description": "My boyfriend and I have been together for two or three years. We get along very well and like each other. Now we are at the stage of discussing marriage. I personally don't want to have children, but he does. We have analyzed the pros and cons from various aspects, but we cannot convince each other. One of his reasons for wanting children is because his parents want grandchildren. Otherwise, they won't support us being together. His mother even privately talked to my mother, asking her to persuade me to have children (and even two). I feel angry about his parents' thoughts and intrusive behavior because I believe that whether or not to have children is a decision for the couple and parents have no right to interfere. I have also expressed concerns about his parents' interference in our married life, but he hasn't come up with a reasonable solution. I have talked to him two or three times, but I haven't gotten the outcome I wanted. Should I break up with him or continue the relationship? (But besides this issue, we get along very well in other aspects).",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, and views on childbirth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Why did his mother secretly contact your mother and ask you to have children when you haven't even gotten married? This is too much! It's a complete lack of boundaries, no sense of limits. They can't even distinguish between what matters should be managed and what matters should not be managed. It's really infuriating! You are not children anymore. Should the decision of whether or not to have children, or whether or not to be parents, be made by grandparents? It's really ridiculous. Now, with so many conflicting opinions, there will be even more problems after having a child. Moreover, children who are raised by parents with such strong control issues will have a high risk of problems in their future lives. There will be more and more situations where opinions cannot be reconciled. Be mentally prepared to face these challenges before considering any further plans.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Well, other than this, everything else is good - this issue should be relatively insignificant during the dating phase, not worth mentioning. But if we shift our perspective to the marital relationship after marriage, this difference in values can be disastrous. Both mothers can openly interfere in your lives, the husband will undecisively shift the pressure of childbirth onto you, and you will be left to face various trivial matters alone. My advice is that you can persuade him, or let yourself be persuaded, but please take this issue seriously and proceed into marriage cautiously before reaching a conclusion.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In this issue, it is known that the \"enemy\" is his parents who sway him towards his potential enemy, while your parents have a different perspective. It is difficult to change the perspective of 3-5 people with just one person's opinion. Moreover, opinions on the traditional issue of \"continuing the family line\" in China are often biased and realistic. It is unlikely that we will reach a consensus now or in the future. Also, personally, I think the reason why he didn't provide guidance is because he also wants children. So, on this issue, if both sides have conflicting views, how can we discuss it? In a marriage, either you take a step back or he and his parents take a step back. Imagine who would eventually compromise? Also, imagine what kind of outcome the marriage would lead to if neither side compromises on this issue? If this continues to be dragged on, it will waste precious time for finding a compatible spouse.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20032
       },
       {
        "question": "How can he withdraw so quickly? Is it cruelty or rationality?",
        "description": "We are in a long-distance relationship. Why didn't my boyfriend reply to my messages from noon until the evening? The next day, when I expressed that I was upset and unhappy, he said he was helpless. (Because he's busy with work and overtime?) Neither of us reached out to each other for the next two days, because there have been many instances before where he didn't reply to my messages. In the evening, I posted on my Moments (social media) saying \"letting go,\" and I noticed that he deleted the QQ (chat platform) status that said he wanted me to accompany him. Hoping that he would take the initiative to comfort me, but instead, he left even faster. I posted another Moments post, sobbing uncontrollably, and attached our favorite photo together, saying it was our final goodbye. He still didn't contact me. Why doesn't he feel sorry for me when I say I'm crying? He continuously avoids contacting me, can he really remain so calm? I'm not demanding anything specific, even if we are separating, is it not worth it for him to take a moment to say something? Does he really think that there is no relationship between us just because I said I want to let go? Does anything I do, whether happy or sad, have nothing to do with him? How can he detach himself so quickly? Isn't there any bit of emotion left? Even if we were just regular friends, if I knew they were crying, I would politely comfort them, right? Last time, we were on the verge of breaking up because of this. He didn't contact me for five days, and in the end, it was still me who took the initiative to contact him and reluctantly maintain our relationship.",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, sense of security, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Owner, hello! I feel very sorry for what you have been through. It seems that your boyfriend is not as invested in your relationship as you are, and he is slowly distancing himself from the relationship. I'm not sure about your usual interactions, but based on his reactions to your two social media posts, it seems like he is using a \"cold treatment\" approach to force you to break up. As you mentioned, this issue has been going on for a while, and each time it basically ends with \"you show weakness, initiate contact, reluctantly maintain the relationship.\" In the lyrics of the song \"Red Rose,\" there is a line that says, \"Those who are favored have no fear.\" Either he believes that you will not leave him and uses that to control you, or he wants you to take the initiative to break up and end the relationship. Regardless of the result, this relationship is difficult to sustain in the long run. \"If I say that I want to let go, does he think that we have no relationship at all? Whatever I do, whether I'm happy or sad, has nothing to do with him anymore? How can he detach himself so quickly? Is there no emotion left at all? Even if we are just ordinary friends, wouldn't they politely comfort you if they knew you were crying?\" Every question is like a knife, stabbing at your heart, visible and heartbreaking. Maybe the other person is not indifferent, but rather does not want to remain entangled in the relationship and hopes to end it with a clean break. However, he hopes that you will be the one to propose a breakup, perhaps to alleviate his guilt. I believe that when everyone first says \"I love you,\" they are sincere and hope to grow old together. But life cannot always be like the first meeting, and we may not be so lucky to meet the right person right away. In fact, owner, you can muster up the courage to sit down and talk to your boyfriend, listen to his true thoughts. Even if it is an unwanted outcome, it is better than being deceived and tortured in the relationship. Perhaps everyone will experience the pain of a breakup, which is the darkest period of life. I remember when I broke up with my first love, everything seemed colorless, there was no light in the world, and I couldn't find the meaning and hope in life. However, it was precisely because of this difficult time that I gained more understanding of love, personal growth, and met better people. Perhaps others hurt us back then, but they also helped us grow and find better happiness. I also wish you, the girl, to have a happier future one day. While I'm at it, I'll share the methods I used to get over a breakup: \u2460Accept the facts and stop expecting anything from him. \u2461Release your emotions: write emotional diaries, confide in good friends, go on trips to relax, listen to your favorite songs, find a quiet corner to cry and shout, do aerobic exercises. \u2462Read books and study to find peace and become better. \u2463Try developing some new hobbies to shift your focus. \u2464Give yourself affirmation and positive responses every day, give yourself confidence and strength. \u2465Think more about his shortcomings and flaws. \u2466When feeling extremely unhappy, watch funny videos, they can bring us a lot of joy!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Giving you a warm hug. Reading your description, I truly understand your current state of mind. You are feeling very sad because your boyfriend didn't respond after multiple attempts to test him. You feel that even if he wants to break up, he should say it out loud. Why is he avoiding it? Why doesn't he respond directly to you? What response from your boyfriend would make you feel comforted? First of all, every girl in a relationship hopes that her boyfriend will protect and cherish her, and always keep her in his thoughts. But reality is not like this. Now imagine if you were the boy, how exhausted would you be? Besides enduring work pressure, you would also have to constantly find ways to please her and always reply to her messages. In that case, how can he concentrate on doing his job well? If he can't do his job well, then how can he have a future with you? Boys with ambition prioritize work over relationships because only with a stable foundation can they have the confidence and resources to pursue love. Secondly, from your description, it seems like you have been constantly testing your boyfriend's love for you. You need to pay attention to the way you do it. You believe that if he doesn't reply to your messages, it means he doesn't love you. If he ignores something related to your social circle, it means he doesn't love you. And if you mention breaking up and he doesn't respond, it means he doesn't love you. So, let me ask you, where does your love for him show? In what ways do you demonstrate your love for your boyfriend? Love is built on mutual trust. If you want to receive love from the other person, you need to show your love through understanding and tolerance and give positive love! For example, when your boyfriend comes back from work, do you make him a delicious meal and show your care? Do you give him space to think when he is under work pressure? If you really want to be with him, do you post positive messages on social media to remind him of the wonderful times you've had together? Finally, in order to make someone love you, you must first learn to love others. Everyone's character and habits are formed in their family environment, and when two people come together, there is an adjustment period. During this process, if you impose your subjective thoughts and demands on the other person, it will inevitably cause resentment. We should use our own changes to influence the other person's perception of our kindness towards them, and in turn, they will also change. In conclusion, learn to trust, learn to communicate, learn to understand, and learn to love others. Only in this way will the love you desire come to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello Miss, I am sorry to hear about what you've been through. As a guy, I have also done such excessive things to my ex in the past. The root cause is definitely some issues that arose during our interaction, such as excessive stress in life, inability to communicate well, and long-term accumulation, all leading to the current situation. My suggestion is to give the other person some time, let both parties calm down, and then find an opportunity to calmly talk things through. I truly understand your current mood. A woman only has expectations and love for her man, which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and anxiety, just like what you are experiencing. However, you also need to understand that in times when your relationship is not good, such as now, everything you do will make him feel annoyed, and he will find it difficult to perceive your love. I myself, due to immaturity and a lack of understanding of the love I received from my ex at the time, ended up disappointing someone who didn't deserve it. I hope you both can reconcile and improve your relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Long-distance relationships increase the depth of longing but also make communication more difficult. Not being able to physically touch or see each other, combined with the lack of timely replies in messages without WeChat voice and video capabilities, can definitely drive a person crazy, leading to constant self-doubt and overthinking. Sending warm hugs to the author. From reading the entire passage, it seems like the author is a sensitive and emotionally rich girl, perhaps more dependent on emotions. Perhaps these aspects also add a lot of psychological pressure to the author's boyfriend. Initially, one may be able to reply to their girlfriend's messages promptly every day, but after the relationship stabilizes, more time and energy will be focused on career and social relationships. It is inevitable to neglect your partner, which indeed requires more understanding. At the same time, shift the focus more on yourself, cultivate hobbies, and engage in activities you enjoy during leisure time. This way, you may not be as concerned about whether your partner replies promptly. It seems that the author can only passively guess their boyfriend's thoughts through his friend circle's dynamics. Both of them are hinting at each other through these dynamics. Why not just call directly to understand each other's true feelings? What are you worried or afraid of? Instead of being unwilling to understand and overthinking on this side, why not ask directly for clarification or simply go to his place to find out the truth, saving time and energy? What if this relationship is the main course for you but just a seasoning for the other person?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the questioner. In fact, when we enter a relationship, we consider what we can gain from it, and we have a sense of gain and loss. If we can see ourselves as complete and meeting someone else is just sharing our completeness with them, instead of meeting someone else to complete us, then we are truly complete. With this mindset, we can truly be ourselves and the other person can be themselves in our interactions. I can feel the questioner's impatience and longing to be with him. But the person you missed is not the right person, as the right person will not be missed. Each person has someone who can resonate with them in their current state. The so-called missing out indicates that there is no longer resonance between you. We can only truly understand what happiness is after experiencing pain. We endure the hardships of so-called love in order to recognize happiness when we experience it. And happiness is innate, it has nothing to do with how others treat you. You can try gradually letting go of the hand you have been holding tightly, imagine slowly relaxing the hand you are holding, and the energy will return to yourself from him. Then you will regain your own power. No matter what you are experiencing, who you love, or who you don't love, always maintain a sense of awareness, as if the higher self is watching you in the present moment, so you know, \"I am acting\" \"This is a script\", watch yourself acting, and then smile, this script is really wonderful!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have managed to maintain it for two weeks, and now it's the same problem again. Maybe there is no solution to this problem between us. I really don't ask for much, just a little bit of his time is enough, but he still refuses. I am truly disappointed and yet reluctant. I feel very uncomfortable and it hasn't even been 24 hours since we separated. I already feel like I can't bear the future life. How can I get through this? Sometimes I really hope that he can take the initiative to come to me, and I will forgive him, but he is still so resolute, so resolute not to come to me...",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 62
       },
       {
        "question": "Broke up already, still living with the ex, but constantly affected emotionally. What should I do?",
        "description": "Due to certain circumstances, I ended up living with my ex-partner after the pandemic. We had a peaceful breakup, but perhaps due to various reasons, our previous relationship was not very deep. However, I had developed strong feelings for him. We promised to become friends, but I found that I overestimated myself. The process of moving on has been slow, and I am constantly influenced by him in my daily life. This leads to fluctuating emotions and even affects my work efficiency. For example, when he goes out for dinner or has unusual emotions, I am affected and unable to focus. I tell myself not to pay too much attention to him and treat him as a normal friend, but I can't help but repeatedly check on him. I know I still hold on to some unresolved feelings, but I want to move on from this state and accept the fact that it is no longer possible. I understand this is difficult, but I believe it's a necessary step. I would like to ask if anyone has had a similar experience and can share their advice. As for living together, I'm advised not to, but for at least a period of time, we still have to live together. Considering the current situation, I hope to stabilize my emotions and be more at peace. Thank you in advance. Also, both of us are male.",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, dependency and attachment, sense of security.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Even if it's just keeping a pet, you have to take care of when it should eat, when it should go to the bathroom, when it should get a haircut, when it should bathe, when it should go for a walk, and so on. Even if it's just installing a bookshelf and a mattress, you have to consider where to put it, how much space it takes up, if it obstructs the way, if it's satisfactory to use, if it's comfortable to lie on, and so on. It will also affect your feelings and attention. Moreover, living with a living person, who doesn't have the ability to be invisible or silence themselves, is a difficult problem to not pay attention to or be influenced by. Does telling yourself not to think about an elephant work? No. Does telling yourself not to pay attention to promises and being good friends work? No. You use the same space, the same furniture, appliances, toilets, and kitchen. You have shared experiences and emotions. It is normal for a normal person to be affected. If you are not affected, you must have truly become enlightened. The point is not whether or not you should be influenced, or if being influenced is normal. The point is, no matter what kind of relationship you have with the person you live with, how can you not be \"tangled up\"? You can break down the walls of thought to look at this issue. Many people look at their ex's social media updates, follow their daily steps, indirectly inquire if they have started dating someone else. If they are happier and better off than us, we are likely to feel annoyed, and may even begin to resent and harass them. To put it more plainly, this is merely a curiosity and an unfulfilled possessiveness. Whether or not you live together doesn't have a direct relationship to it. Your ex is not an idol, burdening them with expectations is something they can't bear. And you are not their lifelong follower, so don't end up finding yourself following after them again, there may only be the smell of their rear end there. We pay attention to our own friends, hoping they feel valued by us and hoping they reciprocate the same feelings. It is also just a self-satisfying form of giving and taking. If we can understand the inherent reciprocity in these relationships and seek mutual benefits within them, it will reduce the magnitude and frequency of emotional fluctuations. Excessive emotional squandering is useless and even harmful. If you can't be good with your current partner and can't be good friends, then either treat each other as strangers and passersby (which may not seem possible), or reuse the relationship, as ambiguity is another kind of beauty and reunion is another kind of flavor and happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Isn't it? Sir A, the clever wife can't make a meal without rice. Sir A's gender is not an issue, it's purely a matter of personal freedom. But this difficulty is comparable to the Riemann Hypothesis... It's like putting a piece of meat in front of someone who hasn't eaten for three days and nights, not allowing them to eat and not allowing them to drool... How about this, think more about why you guys broke up, and then quickly find someone else... My ability is limited, I can only help you this much... Good luck, my friend!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. First, I give you a small hug. Please think about a question: Compared to the two, do you love him more or love yourself more? I believe the answer is the latter. But in our lives, why do we hurt ourselves for someone who is not important to us and may have very little overlap in the future? I know this is not what you want. What we can do is to make an effort to stay away from this pain. Let's sort out your problem. Because of the pandemic, you live with your ex, you still have deep feelings for him, even though you broke up amicably, you still constantly care about him, get sad for him, and let him affect you. So why do you have these problems? 1. You still love him. 2. You are reluctant to let go of your past relationship. 3. You are lonely inside and long for the care and love he used to give you. So what can we do to alleviate our pain? Carefully consider if your sadness comes from your love for him or from your unwillingness to lose the relationship. It's like a child who has a bunch of different flavored candies. Once they eat a candy, it becomes hard to find another one with the same flavor that you like. So when that candy is gone and we don't have a new satisfactory candy to eat, we naturally miss it and think about it, even though it may not have been the best candy inside, it's just that we no longer have it. Don't think too much. Let me use a common phrase from Buddhism, \"Nothing exists from the beginning, not even dust\". Actually, your concern for him may not necessarily mean that you still love him, it's just that he used to be close to you, so naturally you care about him. This concern is normal, but you have misinterpreted it and caused unnecessary worries. I remember my first confession target, also the only one I ever confessed to. I found out only after I finished saying everything that he had a girlfriend, and what's even more terrifying is that he was sitting right in front of me (we were students). I looked at his back every day and couldn't stop thinking, and even had evil thoughts like they would break up tomorrow. Of course, that was just a needless worry. It took me a week to move on and understand one thing: don't think too much, just love yourself. Find something to do. When we have nothing to do, our minds will think about more things involuntarily. But when we have something to do every day, something that may slightly exceed our abilities, we become incredibly focused and don't have time to think about other problems. When we finally accomplish it, we not only receive immense happiness and a sense of achievement, but we also become a better version of ourselves. Improve yourself. Love is mutual, if we want to have the love we desire, if we hope that the person we like will also like us, then a better version of ourselves is indispensable. Love requires mutual attraction, you need to have something shining on you for him to come towards you. Cai Kangyong once said: When you're 15, you think swimming is difficult and you give up. When you're 18 and meet someone you like who asks you to swim, you can only say, \"I don't know how.\" When you're 18, you think English is difficult and give up. When you're 28 and find a very good job that requires English skills, you can only say, \"I don't know how.\" Right? Opportunities are always reserved for those who are prepared. Start preparing for a new relationship. A new beginning is the end of the old. When you feel ready, start and let your destined person appear to spend the rest of your life with you. Finally, I wish you, OP, to get rid of this trouble early and be happy. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This is an inclusive world. Whether you are same-sex or live together is not important. What matters is that everyone can accept you, and you should also accept yourself! If you can't move on, then don't force it. If you think of him, just think of him. There is no need to deliberately forget or blame yourself. This way, your emotions will be relatively easier. Regardless of age and who you are with, a breakup is always a long process, especially when you have invested genuine emotions. Fortunately, both parties have reached a consensus to break up, instead of having a confusing and unclear relationship. This is already good! You have already been responsible for yourself, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. Take your time, and believe that you will eventually move on.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I understand your feelings because emotions can be contagious, and being together inevitably influences each other's emotions. I don't know what happened, but recently you still have to be together and adjust your mood. This is the beginning of your growth, and in this situation, you can take a deep breath and focus on doing your own things. Two boys living together, and he is your ex, these words indicate that you are homosexual? Are you dealing with emotional issues or are you dissatisfied with your sexual orientation? You can seek help from a professional counselor with these questions.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, you have a good understanding of your current mental state and you are aware of it. You know that you haven't let go. If you don't want to get better and choose to continue like this, it is your right. Or you can think of any way to move forward, it is possible. If one day you decide to change this situation, you may need to do something that interests you to reduce your attention to him. For example, expanding your circle of friends, making new friends, exploring new hobbies, such as reading books, swimming, hiking, and so on. When your life is filled with other things, your attention to him will naturally decrease. Don't forget, allow yourself to not forget, it's also okay to keep him in a certain place in your heart until the day you make a new decision.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Because of some reasons, I came back and lived together with my ex due to the pandemic. We had a peaceful breakup. Perhaps because of various reasons, the famous Chinese sexologist, Li Yinhe, said: \"In my opinion, homosexuality is just as normal as heterosexuality, and they are equal in personality.\" At present, traditional Chinese beliefs still represent the majority, so we can only say, \"You are very brave!\" As for what you said, \"You advised me not to live together, but at least for a period of time, we still have to live together.\" Of course, you sincerely only want to be ordinary friends without any thoughts of getting back together, right? It doesn't seem like it. Even if there are some unavoidable problems (such as not having a place to rent or money for meals), is cohabitation the only option? Your true inner thoughts should be that you don't want to give up. So, just let things take their course. You used to get what you were missing from him, and before finding a replacement, you weren't so willing to let go. Humans are emotional creatures, and the more invested they are, the harder it is to let go. Forcing yourself to let go will only lead to a dead end of \"not being able to let go\". (Negative feedback) What you can do is to stop reminding yourself every day to \"forget\" him, delete all WeChat, Weibo, and QQ related to him, so that you won't be tempted to \"snoop\" on his life. Some people become addicted to others by starting with \"snooping\". You can keep his phone number and contact him when necessary. Living under the same roof, don't deliberately create opportunities to meet, but greet him openly and naturally if you happen to run into each other. What are you doing now? Do you have any career plans? Are you continuously learning? How is your working platform? Does it have the potential for advancement? If a person does not have life goals and lacks initiative, they often rely on others and develop habits. Improve your vocational skills or find some fulfilling side projects to do. This is very important.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First of all, whether or not you like someone is not something you can control. If you could control it, then there would be no words like \"settling,\" \"unrequited love,\" \"backup plan,\" or \"self-sacrifice.\" I can use reason to demand myself to like or not like him (her). Emotions are independent from reason, they are two completely different things. Right now, you are asking reason to help you solve emotional problems, so it's not possible. You don't need to deliberately emphasize that you are both men. In my opinion, liking someone doesn't have much to do with gender, otherwise some countries wouldn't have legalized same-sex marriage. Currently, you cannot separate from him due to objective conditions, but the fact is, even if you separate from him, you may still be affected. In ancient times, even when travel was difficult or due to social upheaval, two people who loved each other could eventually reunite after being apart for years. So, living together or not is not the key, the key is your feelings for each other. Based on what you said about your situation, I assume that his feelings for you are not as deep as yours. Therefore, while being with him, you will inevitably have to endure more pain. If someone can make you have no emotional fluctuations while being with the person you love, then you have become emotionally numb, and in the future, you won't be able to fall in love with someone else or have any other emotional experiences.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18108
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do we consider studying as a tedious task? How can we change this mentality?",
        "description": "I am currently a undergraduate student majoring in science and engineering. I have found myself getting tired of studying, feeling distracted in class, but I'm unsure where this negative mindset comes from. I know that passive learning is less efficient compared to active learning, and it can cause me mental and physical distress if the study load becomes too heavy. I see some classmates around me who are in the same situation, but regardless of how they are doing, I want to change my current state of listlessness, yet I don't know where to start. Since studying is for my own benefit, why do I still feel a aversion towards it? How can I change this dislike for studying?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It's great that you have realized your problem and come here actively seeking support and help from people around you. I can see your motivation in wanting to change your anxious mindset. I can also see that you are aware that you are currently in a passive learning state and the benefits of active learning. Can you try to think about which specific subject you are not so fed up with in your major, and which part of the knowledge in this subject interests you the most? Can you start by actively engaging with this part first? Experience the joy that comes with learning. You mentioned that you feel a high level of stress when the learning intensity is too strong. Can you try setting yourself a goal that has less intensity, is specific, and executable? These are my suggestions, and I hope they can help you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19557
       },
       {
        "question": "When the victim mentality is changed in a relationship, no longer self-pitying, but instead becomes angry?",
        "description": "Formerly, I would always fall into self-pity and excessively seek love, often feeling like I would be abandoned. Recently, with the help of a therapist, I have slowly come out of this pattern. However, I have now started to become angry. Sometimes, when the other person does not meet my expectations, I enter a mode of sulking alone and resenting them in my heart. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, character development, personality traits, self-improvement.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP! In the past, I had a lot of insecurity, often feeling like I would be abandoned. I always blamed others, thinking that the pain I'm currently feeling is caused by them. I had an excessive need for validation and tried to control everything. With the help of a counselor, it seems like you're not as worried about being abandoned anymore and have been able to break out of the victim mentality. However, you still feel angry when others can't meet your needs. Is that correct? Psychoanalysis introduces the concept of grandiose narcissism. As an infant, they think that the entire world, especially their mother, should respond and fulfill their needs. If a baby's grandiose narcissism is fulfilled, their life force shines. However, if during infancy, their parents, especially their mother, did not take good care of them or establish a good attachment, their psychological development might be stuck at the infant stage, which is what Wu Zhihong refers to as \"giant baby\". When the grandiose narcissism is not fulfilled, the internal response becomes complete helplessness, which represents your past victim mentality. Externally, it manifests as grandiose rage, which is likely your current state: when your needs are not met, you become extremely angry. It may seem like you have broken out of the victim mentality, but in reality, your psychological development level is still at the infant stage. You are unable to take responsibility for your own needs and hope that everything and everyone will revolve around fulfilling them. Therefore, I suggest that you continue long-term counseling with your therapist and keep exploring and sorting through your emotions. Gradually work on your psychological development level. Also, let go of attachment and take responsibility for yourself. True growth means taking responsibility for yourself. While you are raging because others can't meet your needs, ask yourself, what have you done for your own needs? Have you taken care of yourself properly? Take self-responsibility, self-nurturing. When you no longer rely entirely on others to provide you with \"safety and happiness,\" even the slightest bit of support from others will be shining, and your life will be fulfilling!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12075
       },
       {
        "question": "Can you become a mental health counselor without going to college?",
        "description": "I am currently in a state of depression and took a break from my studies. I am supposed to return to school in September for my senior year, but even though I have completed the necessary procedures for the leave of absence, I still worry that the school won't allow me to come back and continue my studies. I'm afraid that the school won't want me anymore. If I really can't return to school, then I will have to find a job. I wonder if a person who doesn't study will never amount to anything. Actually, ever since I experienced depression, I have always had the idea of becoming a psychological counselor. If the school doesn't want me, does that mean I won't be able to become a psychological counselor either?",
        "keywords": "Career, career management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the mental health counselor certificate has been canceled. According to the current requirements for mental health counselors in society, education is the best proof of qualification for this profession. The requirements for education in the field of mental health counseling are quite high. Even an assistant psychologist requires at least an undergraduate degree. Being a mental health counselor, similar to being a doctor or professor, is a profession that requires a long growth period. In addition to the necessary school specialization studies like Manager Yang, extensive practical learning is also needed. It is really a pity that you are currently on a leave of absence due to depression. You must actively cooperate with the treatment and relieve your own pain as soon as possible. Also, I suggest that you do not give up on your education. Even if you end up going to a less prestigious school for the college entrance examination, you can continue to improve your education. The national policies at the moment are very favorable, so you must have confidence. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16557
       },
       {
        "question": "Letting go of the obsession with my mother, but not contacting her again, is it too cold?",
        "description": "I have lived my entire life in a family where my mother has a serious preference for boys over girls. My older brother is now 40 years old and my mom still gives him 20,000 RMB each year, while I have been working since I was 17 and she has always been asking me for money. Back then, I was only earning 350 RMB a month. I always tried my best to prove that I am also her child and to have a clear conversation with her, but I ended up being even more disappointed. It wasn't until I realized that my upbringing was affecting my relationships and parenting beliefs that I sought psychological counseling. Now, I have a much better mindset. I have largely let go of my obsession with her and no longer have the desire to fight or prove anything to her. I can live every day happily and easily for myself and my child. However, it seems like I have entered another phase where I almost forget about my parents. It feels like I haven't called my mom in six months, and I only occasionally remember to wish everyone a happy holiday in the family group chat. Last time I wished her a happy Mother's Day, she didn't reply. In the past, this would have made me sensitive and upset, wondering why she only interacts with my brother in the group but ignores me. But now, I don't feel that way anymore. If she doesn't reply, then she doesn't. I have said what I needed to say. I often feel that the current me is very different from the past me. I used to be full of hatred and obsession, but now, am I too indifferent?",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, growth process",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you. The TV drama \"All Is Well\" is popular not only because of its star-studded cast, but also because it touches on the pain points of human nature. What is human nature? It means you will live in the way you hate the most, even beyond that. The reason why people suffer is because they cannot let go of their obsessions. Without understanding pain, how can we recognize it, let alone let it go? You are just responding to your dissatisfaction by ignoring your mother, but your original dissatisfaction is being ignored! The reason why humans are advanced beings is because of emotions, and pain comes from emotions overpowering reason. The brain thinks: receiving is only natural, let alone fair. The problem is we all want to receive, but it is difficult for us to be fair ourselves. Because absolute fairness does not exist. Our urgent needs come from unconscious unsatisfied desires that formed during childhood, leading to insufficient conscious self-construction in adulthood. Only through understanding can we resolve resentment, and only through learning can we promote growth and live up to the expectations that surpass our parents. I recommend \"All Is Well\" to you to understand the growth trajectory of previous generations and the weaknesses of human nature, so that we can let go instead of suppressing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17392
       },
       {
        "question": "Half of the summer vacation has passed for high school seniors, but they feel like their academic performance hasn't improved. What should they do?",
        "description": "Just when I started my vacation, I had the idea of improving myself and surpassing others during the break. However, every morning I wake up early, do some early reading, and then start playing with my phone. I haven't been serious about doing homework. I finish playing with my phone before actually starting my homework. Even when I do my homework, I feel like I'm not making any progress and there's no sense of achievement. Now, the vacation is already halfway over and I feel very anxious. High school is starting soon, and I don't know what to do now. Even though I know I need to study hard, every time I try to focus and study, it seems like it's not effective. I feel like I'm just doing mechanical tasks all day long.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Creating a schedule and learning to manage your time and energy is important. Don't rush for instant success, and accept that growth and progress take time. From your description, it seems that you are frustrated and anxious because you struggle to concentrate on your studies and improve your learning ability. However, it's clear that you are a diligent and hardworking individual, as you are trying your best to achieve your goals, which is commendable. Your challenge may lie in lacking self-discipline and not efficiently utilizing your time. Even when you are doing things, your productivity is low, and you don't feel a sense of progress, which leads to frustration. You can try to make your schedule more detailed and include aspects such as studying, eating, resting, exercising, and leisure activities. Implement it for a few days, adjust your state accordingly, and if it doesn't go smoothly, you can modify the plan by reducing or increasing your tasks. Strive to comfortably get through each day. It's okay to have some growth and progress each day; don't aim for too much too fast. If you can consistently follow your plan, the remaining half of your summer vacation will bring significant progress. Reflect on your study methods\u2014is there anything flawed? In addition to learning new knowledge every day, you should also review and reflect on the materials you've covered. Identify the reasons for mistakes and redo the exercises. Timely review the previously memorized information to reinforce your memory; otherwise, it will be quickly forgotten. Take it slow; when you are determined to improve and elevate yourself, you will undoubtedly achieve the results you desire; it just takes time. Good luck.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 13290
       },
       {
        "question": "Homosexuality, object is monosexual and may have anxiety disorder, what should I do?",
        "description": "She is a high school senior. She has excellent grades and a nice appearance and figure, so you could say she has a natural glow. Her family still loves her, but her parents argue a lot and there is severe verbal abuse. She is prone to anxiety, easily gets annoyed, and often feels suppressed and uncomfortable. She used to have crushes on boys, but most of them have some psychological issues and enjoy mentally tormenting her, with two of them even teaching her self-harm. Finally, when she found a boy she liked and who liked her back, she no longer felt the same way about him. I used to think that she just lacked love, so I pursued her aggressively. After a while, she said she really liked me, but didn't know how to accept my love or how to love me. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation, love management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello OP: You have pursued a girl relentlessly, and after experiencing failed heterosexual relationships, she accepted your pursuit. She said she really likes you, but doesn't know how to love you. As a result, you feel very confused, unsure how to face her and how to handle your feelings for each other. I completely understand your feelings, sending you a hug. As a high school student, you are in the stage of adolescence, exploring both your sexual orientation and romance. From your words, I see that you describe yourself as having unrequited love and possibly anxiety disorder, while you describe her as a lesbian. Don't worry, let's look at the following questions together. 1. About this girl - unrequited love, lack of love, possibly accompanied by anxiety. Unrequited love is a symptom caused by a lack of love. You mentioned that this girl's family loves her, but her parents often argue and use verbal violence. Therefore, in this girl's heart, her childhood was one devoid of love. The insecure attachment style from childhood extends into adulthood, forming an avoidant attachment style when it comes to intimate relationships. Moreover, people with unrequited love tend to enjoy fantasies and can easily interrupt intimate relationships, struggling to respond to the love given to them by others. You mentioned that you pursued her aggressively, and after some time, she said she really likes you. But can we call this feeling love? This girl has not had a pleasant experience in past relationships, and your appearance has given her a sense of being cared for and loved, which is something she has been lacking. On the surface, there may be many people pursuing her, but deep down, she still longs to be loved. Even unrequited love is an expression of this lack of love. So your appearance satisfied this need of hers. But now that you have fallen in love with her, her psychological state of lacking love may actually make her feel insecure and unsure how to face you. Sometimes, when we push someone away, it's not because we don't love them, but because we are afraid to. Those who lack love often feel that the other person will leave them one day. They lack confidence in themselves and mistrust in relationships. Additionally, you mentioned that this girl may have anxiety disorder. We may like someone, but our actions end up pushing them away. In the end, we don't even know how to handle someone's kindness towards us. This dilemma and confusion easily lead to anxiety. 2. About yourself - being a lesbian, pursuing this girl fiercely. I don't know your age, but from your words, you mentioned that this girl has excellent grades and good looks, radiating a certain aura. During our childhood or adolescence, both our sexual orientation and love are in the process of exploration. A girl with good grades and good looks is very popular and can easily make us admire her. So, what is your real desire in pursuing this girl? Is it because you are a lesbian and genuinely like her, or is it out of admiration or vanity? I suggest you ask your heart and understand your true desires. Only when your desires are clear, can you make the right choices. As for her, she needs to consider whether she is a lesbian or heterosexual, whether her liking for you is a crush or simply because you fulfill her need for being loved. As for you, you need to see clearly whether you actually like her or if it's just admiration or possessiveness towards a beautiful girl. Furthermore, you also need to consider if you are a lesbian. Regardless of whether you ultimately decide to be together, understanding each other's desires and making decisions that align with your inner needs is the most important thing. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello: Do you like a girl of the same sex? Everything about her is excellent, but her original family seems not very healthy, and this girl has suffered a lot of harm. So the previous boyfriends she had were all wounded children, and being together will definitely have more negative impact. You like her, and she likes you too, but do not know how to get along. Then we can understand the meaning behind this liking and maybe find a way to get along. Analyzing the problem: 1. She is a high school senior. Her academic performance is excellent, and her appearance and figure are also good. It can be said that she has a halo effect. Her family still loves her, but her parents argue a lot and there is severe verbal abuse. She is prone to anxiety, easily gets upset, and feels depressed and uncomfortable. (This girl must have a lot of conflicts in her heart. With such good grades and appearance, and her family's love, she lacks trust and a stable normal life. No child wants to see their parents arguing endlessly. How can she understand the world, understand family love, romantic love, and friendship?) 2. She used to like boys, but most of those boys also had some psychological problems, they liked torturing her mentally, and two of them even taught her self-harm. Finally, she liked a boy who also liked her, but she didn't like that boy anymore. (Children with mental problems will bizarrely attract each other and become mutually attracted, but they are not together for love. Maybe for release, maybe for finding substitutes, maybe... in short, not for love. She is the same. When she truly met a boy she liked, she lost her feelings because she doesn't believe in that pathetic love in her heart. Because her parents' marriage has already told her everything. So, she won't really be in a good relationship with someone she loves.) 3. You initially thought that she just lacked love, so your pursuit was more aggressive. After a while, she said she really liked you, but didn't know how to accept your love or how to love you. What should you do? (It is possible for mutual liking, but whether they will really get together still needs to be considered because this girl, who seems to have everything good, has suffered great harm behind her. I don't know if you can meet her needs. But when she says she doesn't know how to accept your love, it means she is still considering, not as casual as with other people. If you still like each other, then maybe give each other more time, more understanding, such as starting as friends first, gradually cultivating the emotional aspect of getting along, so that neither party feels too much pressure. If everyone is still okay after a period of time, then go deeper in contact, so that everyone has a buffer in their hearts.) Closing words: Wishing you happiness and joy! Wishing you both happiness! If you have any confusion, feel free to private message!",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "First, give the OP and the girl a big hug. OP's situation is quite unique, as heterosexual relationships are currently the mainstream in society. Before getting together with the girl, OP must fully respect the girl's wishes. There are also some examples of same-sex relationships around Nuan Nuan, and they do receive some strange looks from others. OP should be honest and tell the girl that they may experience these strange looks, but they will accompany and encourage her. Nuan Nuan believes that OP can give the girl the greatest love, but OP also needs to make the girl believe it enough. The girl not only experienced arguments in her original family, but also felt suppressed in many relationships with boys. So the girl is likely to be more insecure about herself, not believing that someone can love her so much, nor believing that she has the ability to love others. If the girl is unsure whether to establish a romantic relationship with OP, OP should not be too hasty. Starting as friends is also a good method, constantly caring for and encouraging the girl. Moreover, OP mentioned that the girl is a senior high school student and is currently under a lot of academic pressure. OP can suggest accompanying the girl in studying for the college entrance examination. Under the premise that the girl is not willing to establish a romantic relationship, OP can tell her that they will continue to care for her during this time and consider whether to choose a romantic relationship after the college entrance examination. OP also mentioned that the girl has only had relationships with boys before. In the girl's perception, her relationship with OP may be more like friendship, so she doesn't know how to love. OP just needs to continue treating this girl well, taking care of her, giving her confidence, and letting her feel that she is worth being loved. Finally, I wish OP all the best in their endeavors and a smooth life!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner, it's nice to meet you. The term \"homosexuality\" is something I heard about when I was around ten years old, but that was the extent of my understanding of it. At the time, I couldn't comprehend its meaning or the difficulties faced by individuals who identify as such. When I was in the ninth grade, there was a group of friends in my class who enjoyed reading yaoi novels, which gave me a new understanding of homosexuality. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual, but whether in my country or other countries, it has not received unanimous acceptance from everyone. When it comes to homosexuality, it is essential to have a clear understanding. Are you certain that you are truly homosexual? I am a girl, and I do have a special fondness for other girls, but it is limited to that. I don't want to spend my life with her as if we were lovers; I just want to be lifelong friends who share everything. So, before you truly determine whether you are homosexual or not, you must consider it carefully. If you choose this path, are you brave enough to tell your family and friends? Have you made plans for your own life? When you pursue someone, you must consider all of the aforementioned factors. Because being homosexual brings about many more difficulties than what ordinary people face. She is a high school senior, beautiful, and doing well academically. Honestly, I believe she is the kind of girl whom many people would be interested in. The experience of unrequited love definitely does have some influence from one's upbringing. However, this situation can also be changed. Therefore, the girl should not be too troubled by this. If she has accepted your pursuit, and she has previously dated a boyfriend, it means she is not concerned about the gender of her romantic partner. I think the most difficult part is overcoming societal expectations and how your parents view your relationship. This issue is challenging to resolve, or perhaps it cannot be resolved at all. A few days ago, I watched a film called \"Call Me by Your Name,\" and the ending made me cry uncontrollably. Not every family can understand homosexuality. Additionally, she is currently a senior in high school, so I hope that you can continue your relationship as it is now: neither too close nor too distant. Long-term matters can be discussed once you both have graduated. The future is full of possibilities, and you should keep looking forward to it.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 14327
       },
       {
        "question": "I have made many plans for myself, but I always fail to complete them. Is there any way to help myself?",
        "description": "Often, I set myself some small goals, like dieting, exercising to lose weight, and saving money every month to buy something I desire. However, I always fail to achieve them. Is there any method to help myself?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, compulsive, laziness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner: I can understand where you are right now. For the question you raised, is it a common problem for many people nowadays? Is it a problem that everyone wants to solve? To really become the master of time, we should learn to allocate our time reasonably. To achieve our goals, we should consider how much time we have spent on them. How we allocate our time determines the optimal path to achieve our goals. Do you know about the four quadrants of time management? These four quadrants are divided based on a coordinate system: important and urgent, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, and not urgent and not important. We should prioritize and tackle the urgent and important matters first, followed by the important but not urgent ones, then the urgent but not important ones, and finally the not urgent and not important ones. However, in actual action, we often prioritize the \"urgent matters\" regardless of their importance. In fact, finding the focus of work is not so difficult. I believe that the Pareto Principle can well illustrate this. 80% of our work results come from 20% of the key tasks. Outstanding individuals are those who can identify these 20% key tasks. For example, you can further divide your tasks. If you can only do 5 things a day, what are the most important 5 things? We can contemplate our life plan\u2014what kind of person we want to become and what kind of life we hope to live. What are the 5 things I most want to achieve in my life? What efforts have you made towards this goal? What steps can you take to achieve it? Set yourself a detailed plan. I think the answer to this question is different for everyone. When we have the ability to distinguish what matters and what doesn't, we naturally spend time on things we consider important, and you will also find methods and arrange your time reasonably for this goal. Finally, I hope my suggestions can illuminate your path forward and bring you help.",
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        "questionID": 780
       },
       {
        "question": "He makes me feel like our meeting is not important, can we be late for the agreed time?",
        "description": "The first time we met, he said we would meet at eleven, but he actually arrived after one o'clock. The second time, he said we would meet at three, but he arrived after three o'clock. This makes me feel like I am not being taken seriously. I don't know if he just gave a rough estimate of the time or if he has no concept of time. In any case, he makes me feel like our meeting is not important, but at the same time, I feel like he considers me important. However, not being punctual can be disappointing.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Is he really valuing you or not? When you meet, he's always late, and in this matter, you can definitely feel that he doesn't value you. But in other things, he does make you feel valued. This is not contradictory, just like a table of dishes, if only one dish is not tasty, would you refuse the whole table of delicacies? You really need him to value you, but can you accept that he occasionally doesn't value you in some situations or at certain times? Other possible reasons for not being on time: 1) He believes that you consider him important and are willing to tolerate him, so he can be confidently late. 2) It's just a habit of his to be late, not just with you, but with others and other things too. What can you do for yourself? If it really matters to you that your boyfriend arrives on time, you can sincerely tell him that it hurts you. For example, you can say, \"Dear, every time we meet, you're always late, and I feel very hurt. Your actions make me feel like you don't value me. Are you willing to take care of my feelings and leave earlier next time?\"",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, it can be understood that an important person to OP has been repeatedly late for their meetings, which makes OP feel ignored. But sometimes, OP also feels that the person values them, hence the mixed feelings. \u3010A little analysis and suggestion\u30111. Attribution of the event can generate different emotions and influence the subsequent development. So, when trying to explain and find the reasons for this matter, it is necessary to think comprehensively. OP can ask others if the person is always late for everyone or in any occasion. If being late is due to their own habitual behavior and lack of time management skills, it may not be a reflection of their attitude towards the matter or the level of their respect for people. Perhaps by thinking this way, OP will feel better. 2. Clearly express your thoughts. Since there are times when OP feels that the person values them, it means that OP has a close relationship with the person and can give them suggestions. Clearly tell the person that you don't like them being late and hope they can try to be earlier in the future. If they anticipate being late, they should inform you in advance. Maybe this issue can be resolved fundamentally.",
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        "questionID": 19308
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel inferior and don't know how to communicate with my parents.",
        "description": "12-year-old girl, recently in the past couple of weeks, I have been inexplicably resistant in crowded places, feeling like I don't belong here. When strangers look at me, I have an overwhelming fear and desire to escape. In the past few days, I have started to avoid conversations with unfamiliar people and develop an inexplicable dislike towards them. However, my family is very loving. My mother nags at times, my father is kind yet strict, and I have a cute little brother. I have also noticed that I only feel confident when I'm with my brother. My mother also says that I lack courage and confidence. But usually, I am very carefree with my friends. Since entering middle school, I have felt like I don't belong in this school because my mother always says that I can only stay in this school for one year. If my grades are good, I can go back to my hometown for school; if my grades are not good, I have to continue in this not-so-good school. I always speak to my classmates with caution. They all have their own talents, while I have always had a short attention span for anything and lack persistence. Most of the students in the school are locals, so I feel like I fit in yet don't fit in, normal yet abnormal. I am suddenly anxious without knowing how to talk to my parents.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I want to give you a warm hug. Perhaps it's because you're not a local. And your mother told you that you might only stay at this school for a year, which could reduce your sense of belonging to the school. You might feel like you don't belong here or that you'll be separated from your classmates as soon as you make friends. But no matter where you are, as long as you are in this environment, it's important to integrate yourself. Maybe you can take the initiative to talk to your classmates, chat with them, and communicate more about academic problems. This may help increase your sense of belonging and confidence. Maybe you can also communicate more with your parents at home, enhance your communication skills, and cultivate self-confidence. I hope that no matter what kind of environment you are in, you can be confident, optimistic, and just be yourself.",
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       {
        "question": "How to find your true passion and motivate yourself to be disciplined?",
        "description": "Recently, the third-year junior high school student has been spending every day in a state of decadence. I want to be self-disciplined, but I can't control myself and indulge in it. Someone once said that self-discipline is to abandon present desires for greater future desires. I also tried to figure out what I want, but I found that when my dreams are far from reality, they cannot motivate me to move forward. Right now, I need to find something that can support and motivate me to work hard in order to achieve self-discipline. Previously, I wanted to make a lot of money when I grew up, but that goal was not enough to motivate me. I also wanted to get into Tsinghua University, but that goal was not enough to motivate me either. I wanted to be ranked first in my class, but that wasn't enough either. I think the reason is that making money is too far away from us, getting into Tsinghua University is also far away from me now, and I have never been the top student in class, so I haven't enjoyed the treatment of being the first and therefore don't crave it so much. Therefore, I would like to ask how I can get out of this state of decadence and maintain a continuous state of self-discipline. Thank you!",
        "keywords": "Growing up, self-growth, student growth, meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Although you say that you spend every day in a state of decadence, I can see that you are actively contemplating your life and have a desire and pursuit of dreams deep within your heart. This shows your self-awareness and proves that you are not inherently decadent. As a middle school student, it is truly rare for you to engage in this kind of introspection. I see that you have envisioned many future dreams but constantly dismiss them, feeling that these dreams are unrealistic and difficult to achieve. However, regardless of the circumstances, your perspective has already glimpsed a far-reaching future, which is quite extraordinary. In lesson 01, let's explore what a dream is. Why do you feel that dreams are difficult to achieve? Let's take a look at what a dream actually is. A dream is a pursuit in our lives, an aspiration for what kind of person we want to become in the future and what we hope to attain. Dreams can be big and numerous, but the most important thing is that they are your inner desires and pursuits, what you truly want for yourself, and not what others want you to become or attain. So when you dismiss a certain \"dream,\" first consider whether that dream is truly what you want deep inside. If it is not what you truly want, then it is easy for you to give up on it. In lesson 02, let us differentiate between dreams and means. Dreams and the process of achieving them are actually two different things. Dreams are the end goal, while the methods and experiences encountered in the process of achieving dreams are the means. Making a lot of money, getting into top universities, or ranking first in the class are all means and processes towards achieving dreams. They are not dreams in the true sense. You should ask yourself: why do you want to make a lot of money? Why do you want to rank first in the class or get into top universities? The \"why\" behind these desires is what truly brings you closer to your dreams. For example, if my dream is to become a traveler, then the reason I want to make a lot of money is to financially support myself to travel around the world, to various places. Earning money is a means and a condition for realizing my dream. How can I make a lot of money? Perhaps by studying hard, getting into a prestigious university, gaining more social resources, and finding a good job, it would be easier to earn more money. Getting into college is also a means and condition. Do you understand? The reason you so easily dismiss previous ideas and feel that dreams are unrealistic and difficult to achieve is because those were not your true inner desires, and you mistook means and process for dreams. So now you can take the time to rethink and ask yourself once again. In lesson 03, let's discuss how to achieve dreams. When you are able to differentiate between dreams and means, you will know that no matter how far or big a dream is, there is always a possibility to achieve it, and there are methods and paths to realize it. Only when dreams are grounded and made into reality, are they reasonable and possible to achieve. To make dreams a reality, you need to find the methods and paths that lead to them. You can try using the following steps to think about it: 1) Clarify your current situation - Dreams are about the future, but first, we need to clarify our current situation in order to see how far away we are from our dreams, which direction we should go, and how to proceed. You need to understand what your current situation is, what skills and advantages you possess, and what resources and social support systems you have. How will these factors contribute to achieving your dreams? 2) Write down three dreams - Our lives have various possibilities, so we can have more than one dream, and it is highly possible for all of them to be realized. Therefore, write down your three inner dreams on paper, let's call them Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C, and indicate when you hope to achieve these three dreams. For example, my dream A is to become a traveler, dream B is to become a writer, and dream C is to become a popular teacher. They are all equally important and there is no ranking among them. The latter two dreams are not just backup plans for the first dream. This allows for more possibilities in your life and provides more choices and attempts in the process of pursuing dreams. Of course, due to certain objective limitations, some unrealistic dreams need to be discarded decisively. For example, if you want to become a general, but your physical fitness does not meet the requirements for enlisting or attending military academies, it is highly unlikely that you will become a general. (However, if you can enlist or attend a military academy, there is still a possibility of becoming a general.) 3) Reverse planning - Reverse planning is based on the previously listed dreams and timelines. Start from where you are currently and work backward. Typically, divide the timeline into three or five-year intervals. Then, set goals and make plans for each stage. Think about what conditions you need to achieve in order to realize your dreams. For example, I am currently 16 years old and I hope to become a traveler at the age of 26, which is 10 years later. So, working backward, during the age of 22 to 26, I need to earn 1 million dollars to support my global travel. This means I need to have a high-paying job or engage in a side business to earn that money. Besides earning money, I also need to familiarize myself with information about different parts of the world, understand travel planning, have good photography skills, and maintain good physical health, among other things. This is all the preparation I need to make to realize my dream. For the three-year period from 19 to 21, I should strive to get into a good university, study well in my major, improve my skills, and actively engage in internships to prepare for finding a good job after graduation. For the three-year period from 16 to 18, I should strive to get into a good high school, study hard, aim for good grades in each grade exam, and diligently prepare for the college entrance exam in order to have a chance to get into a good university. The above is an example of reverse planning for a dream. Essentially, this involves looking into the future and considering how to achieve it starting from now, setting goals and methods. By reverse-planning from the future to the present, dreams become more tangible and realistic, with many possibilities for realization. It also helps us understand how to proceed on the path ahead. In the process of thinking and planning, you may also discover potential difficulties. How can you solve them? Are your ideas and plans reasonable and feasible? How can they be adjusted? Or should you try a different dream at a certain time? If you only have \"dreams\" but no concrete goals and direction, no actionable means and methods, then it remains as unrealistic \"fantasy.\" I hope my answer can bring you some inspiration, and I hope you can rethink your future and dreams, finding the direction and path to make them come true. When you find the direction of your life and are willing to pursue and achieve it, you will have the greatest motivation to be proactive and self-disciplined.",
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           {
            "start": 2009,
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          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Share a phrase - \"Look up at the stars while keeping your feet on the ground.\" Having dreams is a good thing, but having a dream doesn't mean I have to achieve it immediately. Many times, what's more important is personal growth in the process of realizing the dream. Whether it's making money, getting into Tsinghua University, or ranking first in class, they all present some difficulty for you at the moment. They are distant dreams that seem somewhat out of reach. So, the most important thing for you now is to set reasonable expectations for yourself. For example, if you can't be the number one in the class, can you be in the top three, top ten, or top thirty? Setting some realistic goals can greatly boost your confidence and motivation. When you feel that you can do it, you will be more willing to do it. So, at this time, don't think too much about so-called dreams, they are not very practical. Goals should not be too high, as that will make them feel very difficult and you might start to hesitate before even starting. Goals should not be too low, as that will make them feel uninteresting. So, how about aiming for a top position in the class first? Best wishes~.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7820
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I always can't help but cry in the past two months, as an 18-year-old girl?",
        "description": "I used to be very cheerful. In the past month, I started having random thoughts, and I began crying involuntarily. It has made me increasingly miserable, even to the point of wanting to die. This feeling has left me utterly devastated.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressed emotions, fragility leading to tears.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, has anything special happened in the past two months that caused such a big change? Emotions don't come out of nowhere, we need to understand where they come from in order to know where they should go. Take some time to think about what happened before the change. What are the things that come to your mind most often when you daydream? In what situations do you feel like crying? These questions might help you find the root cause and understand what is affecting you. Once you identify the root cause, see if you can find ways to solve the problems that are troubling you. If you can't solve them on your own, consider changing your mindset and seeking help from others. Remember, you are not alone. No matter what problems you face, you don't have to deal with them on your own. Seeking help is an act of self-love. If you can't find the reasons yourself, it is recommended to see a psychologist. With the help of a psychologist, you can explore your inner world and figure out what has happened. Sending you a hug, the world loves you! (^_-).",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 11622
       },
       {
        "question": "Gambling addiction, social anxiety, want to know if there are mental health specialists in Ningbo specializing in these areas?",
        "description": "Yesterday, I lost 13,000 yuan, which was the money I saved up for a year. I usually spend money very frugally, only buying necessary things like food and some clothes and shoes. I don't spend money on random things or go to bars, and I rarely spend money on games. But I am very obsessed with making money. In March of last year, I won 300 yuan on a gambling website, but then I lost 6,000 yuan. Then in October of last year, I spent 2,000 yuan on two pieces of clothing worth 100 yuan each just to use a 30 yuan voucher. The day before yesterday, I made about 3,000 yuan, but yesterday I lost almost all of it. Why am I so eager to take big risks with large sums of money in these situations where there is a high chance of losing everything, even though I am someone who considers whether it is cost-effective to eat out or order takeout in daily life? I am only a sophomore in college, and I know I still have the opportunity to make up for these losses, but today I lost another 1,000 yuan. I have lost control, and I want to find a doctor to help me.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, control, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate, in fact, the main topic already understands the meaning of gambling. Gambling may have uncertain factors in the short term, and in the long term, gambling is definitely a losing proposition! Elderly people always remind us, \"When you enter society, never get involved in gambling, prostitution, or drugs!\" But even though we understand these principles, why can't we stop? This is the weakness of human nature! *Greed*, refusing to admit defeat, and refusing to admit mistakes all stem from a mentality of hoping to get lucky. This is similar to the mentality of the elderly who knowingly keep purchasing health products. People often refuse to admit their mistakes and would rather use another mistake to cover up their previous mistakes, but not admit to them. Confucius' disciple Zigong was a successful businessman, and he once said, \"A noble person treasures wealth, but only acquires it through legitimate means.\" The attitude towards gambling may be influenced by your upbringing and environment. You should correct your thinking and understand that money is a medium of material exchange, which should be obtained through real means. The mentality of getting rich quick and speculation should be abandoned. At the same time, you should also learn to control your emotions. If you don't stop, it may ruin your life. San Shan has seen too many people around him whose lives have been ruined by gambling such as \"pushing Pai Gow, buying lottery tickets, and betting on sports\".",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Why do gamblers often struggle to restrain themselves? It's because they always believe that they won't keep having bad luck, and that their previous failures were simply due to not having enough good luck. As long as they keep trying, they will eventually have a comeback. But the reality is that many gamblers end up losing everything and even accumulate a large debt. In truth, the real winners in the casino are always the house, but gamblers are often blinded by the desire to win and the potential gain, and as a result, they rarely see things correctly. Think about why you gamble. It's probably to gain more rewards, which is why you keep investing your money. And in the early stages of online gambling, you may have won, which makes you a little obsessed. Now imagine how long it took you to save up $10,000, and how much effort you put into it. But in the casino, money becomes just a series of numbers, and before you know it, your money is gone. And after losing so much money, don't you become even more determined not to lose? We don't think it's because of our lack of skills, but because of poor luck, so we always comfort ourselves and believe that we can turn things around if we try a few more times. Once we have this mentality, we are bound to lose because the casino is never fair, and many things can be manipulated. One person has a calculating mind, while the other relies solely on luck. Who do you think will win in the end? The world and I love you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 20473
       },
       {
        "question": "How to resolve sexual fantasies towards a male counselor?",
        "description": "I have encountered many inquiries like this before, and I personally have experienced it too. I can understand that it is a normal psychological issue. However, I wonder if male counselors can also sense it? I feel unsafe, ashamed, and inferior.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sending you warm hugs (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 From your description, I understand the following: (1) You feel that you may have sexual fantasies towards male counselors. (2) You feel insecurity, shame, and low self-esteem. Now, here is my analysis and advice, hoping that it can help you: During the counseling process, the counselor's kindness and acceptance make us feel that we are being understood and that we can be at ease here. Therefore, when facing the counselor, we tend to expose ourselves more and gain a greater sense of security, which may lead to an involuntary dependence on the counselor, including sexual fantasies. When this issue arises, it is perfectly alright to discuss it openly with the counselor. If you feel very uncomfortable in this state, you can consider seeking a different referral. #The world and I love you.",
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        "questionID": 11223
       },
       {
        "question": "I think my colleague has a terrible personality. I really dislike her. How should I get along with her?",
        "description": "I am 90 years old, 158 cm tall, and weigh 120 kg. I have a college degree and have always been told that I am fat. I told them that I want to lose weight. They said, \"Oh please, you? You want to lose weight?\" They called me stupid. They only graduated from vocational high school, bought an adult college degree, and even claimed to have a bachelor's degree when new people arrived. Their husband is an auxiliary police officer but claims to be a civil servant to others. They don't even understand the difference between centimeters and decimeters, nor can they distinguish between the Korean ethnicity and the Northeastern region. They said that my husband lacks work ability, but my husband graduated from college and earns more than their husband. My family has four apartments from the demolition, while their husband had to take a loan to buy a house and couldn't put their name on it because of too much debt. They have always been nagging at me, so I had a fight with them later on. They also said that I am stingy and just joking with me. They see that I earn more than them, so they even went to negotiate a raise, even though they only work for three hours a day. I have more things to do than them. They clearly have no money, but they said their husband saved 20,000 yuan and gave 18,000 yuan to their child for early education. All their debts are paid by their husband. They even said that their husband never buys them gifts. Last year, they bought a gold bracelet themselves. Their family's conditions are average, with their father being a security guard and their mother retired, but they can't stand seeing others doing well. They even intentionally threw away a document with my name on it in the hallway, but it was actually an export bill of lading. I really hate them. Many of the things they know were only recently told to me by the new personnel. They try to please the new personnel. Anyway, I really dislike them.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, colleagues, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From your description, it seems that your colleague's personal and family conditions are worse off compared to yours. The reason she often targets you is clearly due to jealousy. She frequently belittles you, spreads rumors, and boasts about her family conditions, which actually reflects her inner feelings of inferiority. Through comparison, she knows that her conditions are not as good as yours or others', which makes her feel insecure. However, she wants to maintain her image and is afraid of being ridiculed by others. She also can't stand seeing others doing well, so she seizes upon your or others' shortcomings to attack and defame, in order to hide her jealousy and negative aspects and protect her self-esteem and reputation. It's difficult to change her personality, mindset, and behavior, and it's also impossible to eliminate her feelings of inferiority and jealousy. Keeping a distance and not responding is the best way to deal with such people. As long as her words and actions don't affect your normal work, try to keep your distance, avoid contact, and stay away from her social circle. Now that you understand the psychological root of her behavior, you can also understand these behaviors. Everyone is at different levels, so there is no basis for comparison, and it's not worth paying too much attention to or caring about. You can calmly deal with her negative words and actions and not waste time and energy on it. If she says things that ignore the facts and hurt you, then boldly refute and present the truth, using facts to counter her claims.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, seeing the details you described, I feel a bit helpless. Obviously, your colleague has some imperfections in terms of personality - narrow-minded, vain, selfish, and cannot stand others being better than herself. Because you are much better than her in various aspects, she can only attack your self-esteem with her figure in order to boost her own sense of superiority. Actually, this kind of person is quite pitiful, being both inferior and arrogant, relying on belittling others to satisfy her own pathetic self-esteem. She doesn't understand that true confidence comes from within and has nothing to do with external conditions. I suggest that you keep a certain distance from her, not allowing yourself to be influenced by her all the time and not letting yourself get caught up in this atmosphere of comparison and competition. If you really can't avoid her, just firmly reject her when you feel annoyed, tell her that you dislike what she says and don't want to hear it anymore. Clearly communicate your thoughts to her and make her stop this boring show-off. Wishing you happiness.",
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        "questionID": 8822
       },
       {
        "question": "A woman is facing divorce and is struggling with whether or not to have children.",
        "description": "I am currently torn about getting a divorce and whether or not to take my child with me. He is a boy who is less than 4 weeks old. My husband has a complicated relationship with his mother. They seem like a couple, but they're actually mother and son. I can't take it anymore and am planning to raise the child on my own. I will only remarry if I find someone who will treat me and my child perfectly. Otherwise, I will never marry again in my life. This will provide me with support and security in my old age. But if I don't take the child with me, he won't be close to me when he grows up. Currently, he is being taught to distance himself from me, and there is a possibility that he will be given to his older sister and her family, who have two daughters. I am not willing to accept this, why should I? Furthermore, I am already at an age where it will be difficult for me to have another child, and the risks will be higher. I'm 33 years old and it will be hard to find the right person again. I'm constantly torn and would appreciate any advice.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, in-laws, and contraception beliefs.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "From the reality you mentioned, it can be viewed from several dimensions: age, children, and remarriage status are all difficult choices. First of all, speaking of age, it's not too old or too young, but it mainly depends on your children and the factor of remarriage. If you remarry without children, age is not a problem. If you remarry with children, the age may be a concern when forming a new family and determining the role of the children. Leaving aside whether the ex-husband wants to or not, the responsibility of parenting needs to be fulfilled, and even if you decide to stay, based on your current temperament, you may not be too willing. So, considering this, you can objectively evaluate various possibilities. While it is manageable to raise children on your own, there will be pressure and personal emotional issues to deal with. Therefore, it is important to consider thoroughly. On the other hand, if you leave the children with the ex-husband, regular check-ins are also possible. Although the family may not be intact in form, the love of both parents will not be absent. Your current dilemma is only about whether the ex-husband can take care of the children well and whether the children will suffer. Taking into account your own concerns, it is difficult for women, and it is even more difficult to raise children. Especially when considering various uncertainties in the future, I hope you won't act impulsively and handle such issues based on your own temperament. There are many examples that tell us that reality is more important than anything else. As for the relationship between your ex-husband and his mother, I don't know their family situation, but one thing is certain: the mother is dependent on her son, a typical \"mama's boy.\" This is why it has come to this point. Your ex-husband's personality has always been lukewarm, which has led to his mother's dominant nature of making decisions on everything. Objectively speaking, your personality and mother-in-law are incompatible. It takes two hands to clap. If we look at it from an urgent and important perspective, the child's issue is the biggest focus right now. Here are some suggestions for your reference: Whether to leave the child or not is only a matter of form. Currently, it may be a matter of face and unwillingness for you. In fact, there is no need to fight over this matter. Since both grandparents want the grandson and son to be together, you can let them take care of the child for now. After all, the child is their grandchild too. It is not ideal for the man to remarry in a situation where he has to take care of the child, so there is no need to worry too much about the stepmother treating the child poorly. As for you, losing one big tree means having a whole forest. There is nothing to regret. It is an opportunity to start a new relationship, and more importantly, to provide yourself and your child with a better hope and future. The economic foundation determines the superstructure, and even with good emotions, it may not be able to withstand reality. So, this point is very important. If you find a suitable partner according to your own wishes, there is no harm in taking the child back later. After all, it is supported, as long as it is within the legal conditions, for either parent, who is more capable of providing a better environment for the child. The child's journey is a long one, and sometimes we have to follow the trend. There is no need to be so rigid in the relationship with your ex-husband and mother-in-law. What you need to do is to live a better life, improve your quality, become a better person, and let them regret it. If you haven't divorced yet, then it depends on the possibility of reconciliation. If the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, then face it bravely. If you truly want a divorce and there is no intention or possibility from your ex-husband's family to save this relationship, why should you force it? You can face the new life only by breaking free. Sometimes, missing out may not be the best option. In almost all family relationships, the relationship between husband and wife is the top priority, followed by the relationship with children, and the relationship with parents is the third. If the order is wrong, it can lead to serious problems. No matter how bad the original family is, we hope that the new family can effectively avoid some negative and unfavorable possibilities. I hope you can get out of the shadow of life soon and embrace the sunshine of life. Best wishes for everything.",
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        "questionID": 11246
       },
       {
        "question": "Boyfriend cheats, apologizes and tries to repent after being caught, how to move on?",
        "description": "My boyfriend cheated on me, and then the other girl sent me all the messages and videos. My boyfriend admitted his mistake and begged for forgiveness, promising it won't happen again. But I can't get over it. We have argued countless times, and I can't stand the thought of those details. I want to break up, but I don't want to give up on this relationship because we do have happy moments together and I can feel his sincerity. Is it really because he doesn't love me enough that he cheated? Is it only once or multiple times? I'm constantly torn and in a lot of pain. Should I break up? Is letting go of someone like this the only way to move on?",
        "keywords": "Dating, infidelity, relationship management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! From your description, it seems that you are enduring the pain caused by your boyfriend's infidelity. Let me start by giving you a big hug and warming you up in your moment of loss! From your description, it is apparent that you had a good foundation in your relationship, and during the time you spent together, you experienced the warmth of true love and the sincerity of the other person. The memories of your mutual love are deeply etched in your life's journey. What saddens you is that while you were enjoying the sweetness of love, your boyfriend cheated on you. This undoubtedly was a fatal blow and injury to someone who deeply loved him, and it is unfair for every girl in love to face such an outcome. Your boyfriend has already promised to change his ways. You are torn between whether or not to break up. It truly is a painful choice for you to make. Take a moment to calm down and reflect: can you let go of this relationship after a breakup? What were the true motives behind your boyfriend's infidelity? Do you love him, like him, does he truly love and like you? Are your values and beliefs truly aligned? Is he truly worth entrusting your lifetime to? Is he the person you need? Have you truly forgiven him for his infidelity? Are you forgiving the person or the act? You must seriously contemplate and carefully analyze these questions before making a decision. Once your thoughts are clear, the answer will be in your heart, and you won't feel as anxious and helpless. Making a choice is a very painful thing. Be your own master!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I believe you need to reevaluate this relationship, because even if you forgive now, whether it will be brought up in your unhappy times in the future and become a stumbling block in your future relationship life. If you can completely ignore it, I think it's okay to continue. Or you can give your relationship another chance: a period of time or an event, such as giving another three months. If you are still entangled and unable to accept it, then break up; if you have already let go, then continue. For example, if your boyfriend is still unclear about his affair and hasn't ended it properly, then let yourself go.",
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        "questionID": 6242
       },
       {
        "question": "25-year-old female, does not trust males and marriage, afraid of having children, what should she do?",
        "description": "I did not have a good upbringing. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with schizophrenia that my family showed me nothing but domestic violence (not just physical violence, but also verbal and emotional abuse). Since my teenage years, I have not wanted to get married or have children. I find it difficult to trust the opposite sex and believe that I cannot find happiness (I think I have been brainwashed by my family's verbal abuse), and even if I were to experience happiness now, it would eventually shatter. I am afraid of giving and receiving love, afraid of being hurt, and afraid of pain (due to being beaten). Currently, I have an arranged date and we are in the observation period. Although I have asked him a series of questions and his answers somewhat satisfy me, I still cannot find inner peace. I am still scared of marriage, scared of having children, and want to remain single for the rest of my life, wanting to end it alone. But I also worry that my future self will regret it. I do not have much education and my salary is average. When I mentioned to my family that I want to grow old alone, they were all against it, with my father even threatening to squander the family fortune. I know I am not independent enough. However, I also hope that nobody will scold me; if possible, I hope I can become an independent and strong-willed woman.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, pre-marriage, concept of marriage",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answer can be helpful to you.\ufe0f **First, let's summarize the situation you described as follows: \u25b2 The upbringing process is not filled with verbal and emotional abuse, \u25b2 since adolescence, you don't want to get married and have children and find it difficult to trust marriage, \u25b2 facing a satisfactory blind date partner, but afraid and don't know what to do?** Schizoid personality disorder belongs to the healthy end of the spectrum, often not much different from an average person. In terms of cause, the origin of splitting mechanism can be traced back to the paranoid splitting state commonly found in infants early on. Schizoid personality disorder is similar to avoidant attachment (insecure attachment) in children, where the mother is not only rough and unreasoning, emotionally lacking, but also repulsed by physical contact with the child. Neglectful parents who disregard the child's needs may raise a child who is self-satisfied and avoids others. Individuals who have experienced isolation and neglect in their early years, out of helplessness, may avoid closeness with others and deal with external stimuli based on their own imagination. They often have a mother who has a close relationship or crosses boundaries, and a father who is cold, strict, and violent. Schizoid personality disorder includes two aspects of \"splitting\": the split between self and the external world, and the split between self-experience and instinctual desires. Analytical theory believes that the schizoid experience of splitting generally refers to a sense of alienation, a dissociation from a certain part of themselves or from real life. The main relationship conflicts for splitting individuals include closeness and distance, attachment and fear. In their subjective world, there is deep conflict in attachment. They long for intimacy but fear being engulfed. They want to maintain distance but cannot tolerate loneliness. They do not want to risk losing an object and also do not want to lose themselves. Therefore, they are unable to engage in relationships and cannot tolerate solitude. The famous fable of \"Hedgehogs in the Cold Night\" by Schopenhauer is a vivid depiction of the dilemma faced by split individuals: when they approach each other to seek warmth, they prick each other; unable to bear the pain, they separate from each other, but have to endure the cold. This conflict manifests in life, starting with a passionate and short-lived relationship, and eventually ending with long-term avoidance. This dynamic phenomenon can be summarized as, \"Please come close to me to comfort my loneliness, but please maintain your distance because I don't want to be intruded upon.\" Your case fully embodies this point \u2013 your inner self desires warmth and love, but you are too afraid of getting hurt to get close to intimate relationships. Therefore, it is necessary to focus on personal growth, cultivate a strong inner self, and become someone who bravely faces life, the future, and intimacy. If you feel that the blind date partner meets your expectations and you are satisfied, then pursue the relationship boldly. Marriage and love are your own matters that require your own decision. Parents cannot choose for you. Faced with such parents, what can we do? We cannot choose, as it is not a matter of choice. The protagonist Su Mingyu in the TV series \"All Is Well\" has suffered since childhood due to being a girl and having a poor family background. She has two older brothers and has never felt warmth at home. The family used all their resources, even selling the house, to support the eldest brother's education at Stanford University in the United States and to find connections for the second brother to get into a good university and find a job. As for herself, because her brother went to college, her room was sold by her mother and she had to sleep in the living room. Despite being qualified for the prestigious class, her mother did not allow her to attend and insisted that she pursue a teacher training program instead because she is a girl and should rely on marriage in the future. It can be imagined how painful Su Mingyu's internal struggles were. However, she did not let her upbringing hinder her dreams. She remained diligent and worked hard. In the end, she found a sales job, became a white-collar worker, and even climbed up to senior management. These scenes can serve as classic examples for us to learn from. Compensation for what is lacking is needed. From a psychological compensation mechanism perspective, what was lacking in childhood will be desperately sought for in adulthood. If there is a lack of adequate psychological compensation and growth during the upbringing process, the impact can be long-lasting. As adults, regardless of the circumstances, the first thing we need to do is face ourselves, both internally and externally, including parents, family, siblings, etc. We can only have what we already possess, and that cannot be changed. Accepting and growing ourselves is the first step to living a good life. Wishing you the best, and I recommend seeking specialized counseling for psychological development (personal growth). \u03b5 I'm here, and the world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Thank you for inviting me to answer your question. First, I want to give you a big hug and send a little warmth your way. I am also a parent, and my son is a few years older than you. I have come across several situations like yours before, and every time I see these kinds of questions, I feel a little emotional. If even a mother hen knows how to care for her chicks, why is it that humans, who are supposed to be intelligent, cannot do the same? I can really empathize with you. I don't know what kind of mindset your parents have. Is it because they favor your brother over you or some other reason? Why do they treat you this way? Having experienced twenty years of verbal and emotional abuse, to the point of causing you to have a split personality, is truly chilling! So, it is understandable that you fear marriage and having children. From a psychological perspective, what you are experiencing is learned helplessness. However, life must go on, and we cannot change the past, but we can change ourselves. I have a few suggestions for you. First, heal yourself. We cannot choose our parents, but we can choose to nurture ourselves and become our own parents. You can arm yourself by learning some knowledge about psychology and make your inner self stronger. I recommend reading books such as \"Why Family Hurts Us,\" \"The Original Family,\" \"The Wisdom of Life,\" and \"Encountering the Unknown Self.\" Books are the mentors and best companions of human beings. Second, enjoy love. People's lives are multifaceted, including family love, romantic love, and friendship. Currently, you may not be able to enjoy family love, which is a major regret in life, but you can make up for it with romantic love. If you encounter someone who likes you, and you also like him, please don't reject it. Seize the opportunity and enjoy love. Third, be a good mother. It is understandable that you do not want to have children right now because you haven't adjusted your state of mind. Your thoughts may change once you have love in your life. Having children will bring you a different feeling and make your later years more fulfilling. If you have children, study well and be a capable mother. Don't let your misfortune extend to the next generation. There are also many books on parenting education. I recommend reading books like \"Nonviolent Communication\" and \"Parenting Awakening.\" Fourth, forgive your parents. Not all parents are qualified. Being a parent is not easy. Perhaps because of poor family conditions and high life pressures, your parents express their emotions through violence. Maybe they are not good at learning and only use traditional ways of education, which is unintentional. You can communicate with your parents once and preferably write down your feelings over the past few years, so that they can realize and reflect on it. Forgiving your parents means letting go of the past and reconciling with your own inner self. Lastly, I want to share a quote that I like with you: \"Nobody is allowed to harm me without my permission!\" Hang in there, and I wish you the strength to overcome your difficulties and live a happy and fulfilling life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I also have the same thought. I feel that my life is going well and I don't need to find someone to make me angry or share unnecessary troubles. There is no rule that states a person cannot live alone. Being afraid of interacting with males is a psychological issue, perhaps related to your childhood. I dislike boys because a boy in junior high school kept pursuing me, and since then I have found boys to be very scary. So this is a psychological effect. In fact, everyone has good intentions towards you. It's just that when we see some people being too enthusiastic towards us, we feel that they have ulterior motives and reject them time and time again, eventually causing this situation. You can participate in more social activities, get to know more people, go out more and see other people's lives. You can also talk to your friends about your feelings, understand other people's lives more, try to accept a relationship, and let yourself adapt first. Communicate more with others. Having children is not scary. Maybe you have read too many negative stories. A person's life is just repeating over and over again. Having children and getting married is to add some color to your life, to make you feel less empty. When you come home, you will find someone waiting for you, which is also a kind of happiness, isn't it? I wish you, and all of us, can overcome psychological barriers and accept new lives and challenges!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I admire your strength and resilience from reading about your past experiences. You possess such a strong inner power, and I believe you will become a mentally strong individual in the future. Your goals are clear, so keep striving to become that strong version of yourself! I believe in you, keep going and make some plans to accomplish this goal one by one.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19396
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it my fault for being too kind and allowing myself to be bullied and isolated in college?",
        "description": "I was bullied throughout university because I was too easy-going. I felt frustrated and lost my temper, causing everyone to isolate me. When I caught a cold, they all said their immune system was weak and kept their distance from me. What should I do? I'm really annoyed and feel like I'm being subjected to school violence. I feel like the only way to please them is by jumping out of the window myself, but I'm not willing to do that. Why is it that I'm not at fault, yet I have to endure everything? Is it because I'm too honest and easy to bully? I tried talking to the teachers about changing dorms, but they don't care. It's university, and there are still two years to go. Do I have to continue like this, constantly encountering these problems no matter where I go?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, conflicts, roommates and classmates, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~ Give OP a warm hug~ From the description, it can be seen that OP was initially too easy-going, then was bullied, and later became angry but was isolated. When OP was sick, they were also mocked and ridiculed. I can really understand OP's feelings. It seems that OP is usually a very gentle person. There are always people who like us and people who don't like us. Therefore, I hope OP doesn't get discouraged. We can step out of the dormitory, step out of the classroom, broaden our attention, and slowly break free from the constraints of the surrounding environment. Try to find new friends, find people who can listen to us and care about us. Being isolated and subjected to campus violence is not your fault. We can continue to communicate with teachers in depth, explain the ins and outs of the situation. If conditions permit, we can also seek help from the school's counseling center. If we can't change the environment, then let's change ourselves. Find more meaningful things to do and make our lives rich and fulfilling. If you bloom, the breeze will come. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2863
       },
       {
        "question": "After my ex had an affair, I developed a constant feeling of suspicion and doubt in my current relationship. How can I change this?",
        "description": "When I was with my ex-girlfriend for a year and a half, we broke up due to her using emotional violence. A few days later, I found out that it was because there was another guy she was interested in at the time, and she broke up with me for him. They got together and even slept together, which was really disturbing for me. Although it has been four and a half years now, and I believe that I have moved on, and have a new girlfriend, I still have this lingering fear. Whenever she acts a little bit distant, I start doubting if she still loves me. It really hurts to see her chatting with other guys on WeChat, and I often fantasize about her cheating on me. Sometimes I'm okay, but when my emotions get really bad, it affects my sleep and work. I feel like this is exhausting for both her and me. Please advise me on how to change this.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, trauma therapy",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Friend, hello! When I saw your final question about what to do, many people may say that the ex is the ex, and the current is the current, they are completely different, and it is unnecessary to let the pain from the ex affect the current relationship. This is unfair to the current partner and not worth it. So why are we still unable to get rid of the troubles brought by the ex? Let me share my understanding. Firstly, you must have invested a lot of genuine emotions in your previous girlfriend. The more we invest, the more we fear losing because losing means all our efforts are negated. Then we start to doubt ourselves, which is serious. In reality, it may just be that the ex-girlfriend is uncertain about her own feelings, which is why she was entangled with someone else even after having a boyfriend and eventually left you. I remember hearing a saying which put it well: when someone who doesn't love us leaves, the one who suffered the loss is them, not us, because they lost someone who loved them, while we only lost someone who didn't love us. Secondly, when we doubt ourselves, it also reflects our lack of self-confidence. Perhaps in today's society, many men lack confidence, especially when it comes to love. That's why there are so many \"simps\" who give their all but end up with nothing. Honestly, it's really not our fault, it's the result of certain toxic ideas in society, which have given women blind confidence and arrogance, making them unable to distinguish between reality and the virtual world. I want to say, let them live in their own world, and it's best not to remind them. Lastly, I want to conclude with the words of teacher Chen Guo: when we like someone, we should just be wholeheartedly good to them. As for whether we can end up together in the end, I no longer care, because I've done everything I can, and the rest is up to fate. Being true to oneself is something you can't escape from, what isn't meant for you, you can't hold on to. The world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, creator! \"Once bitten by a snake, one will be fearful of a rope for ten years\" is actually a reflexive self-protection mechanism. Due to past emotional trauma, it has affected your confidence in relationships, resulting in a lack of security in your current relationship. Like many things, self-protection mechanisms are a double-edged sword. They can help us avoid similar harm, but if the mechanism is too sensitive, it can make us overly cautious and lose our rational judgment. First, you need to understand that your ex is your ex, and your current partner is your current partner. Secondly, feeling secure in a relationship should not solely rely on the other person, as no one can constantly deeply love someone every hour of every day, all year round. Loving someone too intensely will exhaust not only yourself but also the other person. You can try to imagine what it feels like to have someone cling to you 24/7, enthusiastic about you like a wound-up toy that never tires. Thirdly, try to learn to understand, respect, and trust your partner. In the world of adults, in addition to love, there is also life, right? Unpleasant things happen in life, such as being criticized by a boss, having conflicts with family members, or feeling unwell during menstruation, etc. You should allow your partner to have moments of sadness, and not equate it with not loving you just because they seem a bit distant. Love does not reset to zero at midnight. It does not require grand gestures every day. Lastly, I hope you can learn to love your partner. Each person's needs for expressing love are different. If you have the time, you can read the book \"The 5 Love Languages\" and communicate with your partner about the type of love expression you each need. Loving someone in the right way may have a more effective result with half the effort. Finally, if the harm caused by your ex is too great for you to digest and handle on your own, I suggest seeking help from a professional mental health counselor. Good luck! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello~ 1. Analysis of the causes of suspicion: 1. Lack of security Due to lack of security and past experiences, they constantly need affirmation from their partners in order to feel loved and secure. When there is uncertainty in the relationship, they become anxious and try various means to seek reassurance. This behavior can make the other person feel difficult to tolerate or even become annoyed. 2. Infatuation mentality \"Infatuation mentality\" refers to a thinking pattern where one places love above everything else. These individuals focus all their energy and thoughts on love and their partners. This can make them sensitive, emotional, extreme in their actions, and have a radical attitude towards relationships, often confusing whether they are pursuing a perfect love or truly loving the person. 2. Some suggestions 1. Have confidence in your partner Since you have chosen to be together and entered into a relationship, trust your partner. Don't constantly question their whereabouts, who they are with, or whether they have spent time with someone of the opposite sex. As the questioner, you should have a certain understanding of your partner, their character, personality, and habits, so do not easily doubt them. When faced with a situation, try to consider it from their perspective. Think about what you would do if you were in their shoes. By placing yourself in their position, you will be less inclined to doubt them. 2. Learn to express your feelings Instead of questioning or accusing your girlfriend when she enjoys talking with her male friends, you should aim for good communication first. This will make her feel trusted. You can directly express your thoughts, concerns, and how you would like her to respond, letting her know that you care about her rather than trying to control her. Communication When faced with doubts and constant suspicion, it is important to engage in open and positive communication with your partner. Share your feelings, explain the reasons for your anger, express your worries and concerns, and then discuss and find a solution that both of you can accept. Everyone has different ways of dealing with friendships with the opposite sex. If your girlfriend values these friendships and there is no ambiguity in their relationship, you do not need to force her to stop talking to him. Don't let your partner's actions affect your emotions In a relationship, constantly doubting your partner and allowing their actions to affect your emotions is not constructive. Instead of expecting others to provide you with a sense of security, focus on building your own sense of security. When you have a strong sense of security, you will be better able to learn how to love and be loved. This way, your emotions will not be affected by your partner's actions, and you will not have reasons to doubt them anymore. Constantly improve yourself If you tend to doubt your partner in relationships, it is important to continually work on yourself. When you become stronger, you will gain confidence and attract the things you desire. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello! I can completely understand how you feel. It seems like you are still being troubled by a relationship that happened four or five years ago, indicating that you haven't completely moved on from its impact. For the one who was cheated on and broken up with, the first thing to face is the sudden halt in the development of the relationship, and the need to come to terms with the loss. On the other hand, the one initiating the breakup has already completed the ending and doesn't face such distress. At the same time, the one being broken up with also has to deal with feelings of abandonment, self-worth depreciation, and doubt, all of which can cause a great deal of suffering. You asked about how to reduce the current distress, and here are my suggestions: 1. The breakup in the past had multiple reasons. 2. The current partner and the ex are not the same person and won't have exactly the same behavioral patterns, so you need to be able to distinguish between them. 3. A lack of affection can have various reasons and may not necessarily be a precursor to a breakup. It could also be due to other troubles or physical discomfort. In such situations, it's important for both sides to communicate fully, express what's on their minds, and ask each other about any concerns, rather than assuming things or waiting for others to guess what they're thinking. The next time you have such thoughts, try telling yourself to consider multiple possibilities regarding the situation. 4. If negative thoughts start overwhelming you again, try practicing deep breathing and focus your attention on your breath or the sensations in your body; it might help. 5. Accept that the only constant in this world is change. No one can promise anyone a lifetime together, so focus on living each day well and savoring every moment. Best wishes! FF.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear moderator, hello. \"Once bitten by a snake, one is scared of a rope for ten years.\" This applies to anyone. After all, we have a set of self-protection mechanisms since birth, and we adopt evasion, avoidance, anger, fear, and other methods to protect ourselves. That's also why many people, after experiencing intense love, are afraid to love again. However, we also need to understand that everyone's growth environment is different, and we cannot conclude that everyone is the same based on one person's behavior. In an intimate relationship, if we want the relationship to last and develop healthily, refusing emotional abuse, self-change is the most important. Only when we free ourselves from the shackles, introspect our own hearts, and establish a strong sense of security, can we manage a relationship well with anyone. If you can write down the answers to the last eight questions clearly on paper and open up your heart to discuss any issues with your current partner, I believe your relationship will definitely change. Keep going! The following text is applicable to both men and women. The way men and women interact can be mutually beneficial. Do you happen to have watched the drama \"Mr. Right\"? Jiang Shuying plays a girl who has been hurt in love, unemployed abroad, and meets Song Ningyu on a flight back to China. The man shows his interest in her at first sight, drives her home, accompanies her shopping and eating, buys her flowers and a necklace, and takes her to various parties, making her look like a lady. He even finds her a place to live, taking care of every aspect of her life. Jiang Shuying is lucky to meet such a man, but after a period of getting along, she becomes suspicious and mistrustful of him. In the drama, Jiang Shuying finds out that the house her boyfriend found for her is actually his own. Because of this, they start giving each other the silent treatment, not speaking to each other, taunting each other coldly. Later, they have big arguments and she walks out on him. In our lives, similar scenes often occur. When the husband comes home with a briefcase, the wife quietly walks into the living room and cautiously unzips it to check if he has been having an affair with other women. Or on special occasions, if the wife does not receive the expected red envelope gift, she sulks and pretends not to hear her husband speaking, with a downcast face, causing her partner to be bewildered. The wife cannot stand her husband's silence and relentlessly demands a definite answer and result, while the other half of the couple curls up in their own shell like a snail. The final result is that the husband remains indifferent to everything the wife has done, and the wife, thinking, \"I have hinted to you for so long, but you haven't shown any response,\" loses patience with the man and erupts like a volcano. Whether it is controlling your husband and watching him closely or resorting to emotional abuse, both will make him dislike you more and distance himself from you. So, how can you make your partner feel that you understand him and enter his heart, so that he will love you more? Skillfully using the cave mechanism makes a man feel understood. In psychology, there is a term called the \"cave mechanism.\" When facing pressure, men tend to hide in their caves until they come up with the final solution, and only then will they proactively emerge from their caves. If you disturb him at that time, it will undoubtedly aggravate his burden and make him feel that you don't understand him. At this time, the best thing you can do is focus on yourself, such as reading a book you like, watching a movie you enjoy, or reflecting on the day's events. Men will feel your trust in them. On the contrary, your care and concern will make him feel that you don't believe in his ability to handle his own affairs. A reassuring look or a small action is more effective than a thousand words of nagging. Paying attention to what he likes - In a relationship, wives or husbands may experience two psychological states: imbalance and guilt. One party may feel guilty because they have endured too much, always feeling that what they give and what the other gives cannot be equated. But we should know that giving is never about who gives more; willing and voluntary giving is the best choice. The other state is imbalance. \"I have given so much to you, why do you hurt me without appreciation?\" Treat others as you would like to be treated. Is what you give what the other person wants? If you originally wanted to have a quiet evening, but your husband suddenly asks you to play a video game with him, you will definitely feel impatient. Spending time on effective communication - Before building a good intimate relationship, we need to become someone who can communicate effectively; otherwise, everything is pointless. Here, I will share eight key questions for effective communication: 1. What do I want? 2. Are there any misunderstandings that need to be clarified first? 3. Which of the emotions I express are absolutely true, and which are imagined? 4. Do my partner's or my emotions feel familiar? 5. How did this emotion arise? 6. How should I respond to this emotion? 7. What feelings lie behind the emotion? 8. Can I respond to these feelings with love? Do you remember these eight questions? They are the premise of building an intimate relationship and effective communication. Find out the problems, respect and understand each other's feelings and behaviors; behind every action, there are hidden needs and motives. Next time there is a conflict in your relationship with your partner or other interpersonal relationships, try using these questions. You will be amazed at their magic. It turns out that our fights are really foolish. They not only hinder the progress of matters but also damage the relationship with the person we love most. In \"Mr. Right,\" Jiang Shuying once had dinner with Song Ningyu at a Western restaurant and complained about her boring meetings with her boss and how she often blamed her wrongly. Song Ningyu constantly responded with \"Mm\" and \"Ah.\" She knew that her boyfriend was not really listening to her, so she raised her voice, asking him if he was actually listening to her. He looked around awkwardly until he confirmed that no one was watching them, and then he responded to her in the same manner, frowning and sarcastically saying that he couldn't help her with all her complaints. You see, they both complain and vent but never consider each other's true thoughts and needs. They pretend not to care when conflicts arise, but their words are full of criticism, blame, mockery, and complaints. Clearly, Jiang Shuying just wanted him to listen to her and understand her, or perhaps his indifference reminded her of someone else who used to treat her in the same disregarding way. Someone I know once told me about his and his husband's story. Sometimes, when her husband gets home, he doesn't want to cook, and at that moment, instead of blaming him for laziness, we should think about whether her husband encountered something unpleasant today, or perhaps he is exhausted from work and doesn't feel like cooking. We need to understand the reasons for conflicts in intimate relationships and the essence of intimate relationships. In \"Intimate Relationships,\" there is a line that says introspection is often regarded as the ugliest stage in intimate relationships because you feel that your partner is no longer as charming as before. You have become accustomed to dealing with each other and handling recurring old issues in a set way. At this stage, nothing in the intimate relationship satisfies you, so before blaming your partner or criticizing the intimate relationship, it is necessary to first examine your own heart.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The asker must have felt a lot of grievances, confusion, anger, and other negative emotions when they were broken up with through emotional abuse. Having been deeply invested without any mental preparation, there must be a sense of loss, feeling unfairly treated, and constant thoughts of why in their mind. These negative emotions need a reasonable outlet for their heart to gradually find solace. Four years have passed, yet this incident still affects your relationship with your new girlfriend. It makes you occasionally suspicious, worried, and overly cautious. Therefore, you need to go through a process of mourning for the breakup four years ago. Release the suppressed negative emotions. If possible, set aside some quiet time for yourself, play soothing and relaxing music. Breathe and relax, think about what you wanted to say to her when you were broken up. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to experience various emotions. Write down what you wanted to say to her on paper, and then read it out loud over and over again until the intensity of your emotions subsides. If you cannot bring yourself back to the feelings of that moment, you can also find a counselor to talk to and let them guide you through this process of catharsis.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the incident with your ex-girlfriend has caused you trauma, and it is clear that this trauma has been holding you back. You are aware that you have become \"once bitten, twice shy,\" but you can't control yourself and you also understand that the problem is with yourself, not the current relationship. However, you unconsciously always act inappropriately. Therefore, instead of analyzing the reasons, I would directly suggest seeking support from professionals to help you heal from the past trauma, just like when we get injured, some wounds are superficial and we just leave them alone, but some wounds require medication, bandaging, or even surgery to heal properly, otherwise they may become infected or worsen. Hey, you are injured, and this wound is not healing on its own. It's not embarrassing, but you do need to heal. Because right now, you are not only hurting yourself but also hurting others. You may also fall into the swamp of self-deception and repeatedly experience tragedies. Professionals will allow you to express your emotions in a reasonable way and face your pain, guiding you to truly reconcile with the past. When you can truly face the past calmly, you will be able to face the present with peace of mind. Of course, this is not the only way out, just a small suggestion. Perhaps one day, with the passage of time or special opportunities, you will be able to heal your wounds, break through yourself, and embrace a new future. It is also very possible! I hope that one day you can move on from your trauma, establish a mature perspective on love and relationships, and find happiness in life.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "People like us who have experienced a lot don't care about who they chat with at all. I prefer straightforwardness. If you give up, you won't miss or accept anymore. Women, who is born to be their own, anyway? I strongly advise you to consider her (another person's situation)! Because this is the most serious mistake I've ever made. If it weren't for my family, maybe I wouldn't have had a chance in this lifetime. Nowadays, society is dominated by more men and fewer women. If one is targeted by fate, then one's whole life will be filled with longing. People need to interact with others in life. Maybe it is because you are good to others that they are willing to help you when you are in trouble. In the past, like you, I had very high expectations of girls. Now, I constantly think that everyone has to experience death. If I die, what will happen to her? If she leaves before me, what should I do? Two people are only together for a short period of several decades.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When a relationship has ended but you haven't let go in your heart, it can affect your current relationships and your present life. You can write a letter to your ex-partner, but you don't have to actually send it. Express your feelings freely in the letter, including any remaining unhappiness. It's best to write it by hand because it can convey more emotions than typing. Another method is to find two empty chairs and sit facing each other. You sit down and imagine the empty chair across from you is your lingering ex. Say what you want to say to her, then switch seats and feel her emotions, expressing them to the chair representing you. Then go back to your seat and feel the impact of the words you just heard. Your feelings will change, and so will your thinking. Lastly, accept that you haven't completely let go yet, and accept that you still have thoughts about her, whether positive or negative. This attachment creates energetic entanglement and can affect your current life. All connections need closure. It is because she left that you have the opportunity to meet someone new.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Indeed, as you said, being bitten by a snake once makes you afraid of the well rope for ten years. It can be seen that you genuinely gave your heart in your previous relationship. This kind of open and trusting relationship made you deeply hurt when you found out about the infidelity and deception. Moreover, this feeling of being hurt may still persist, even though the incident happened four and a half years ago. It is still profoundly affecting your current relationship. You unconsciously start to doubt your current girlfriend because you have a preset idea that she may cheat. So, whenever she does something that triggers associations, you start to doubt her. On one hand, I think you need to deal with the emotional trauma from your previous relationship and truly say goodbye to your ex-partner in your heart. At the same time, realize that your ex and your current girlfriend are two completely independent individuals. You might be projecting some of your emotions onto your current girlfriend because of your ex. On the other hand, you can reflect on what caused your ex to cheat in your previous relationship and what changes you can make in yourself to avoid repeating the same mistakes in your future relationships. The best way to explore and handle these two aspects is through professional psychological counseling. It can help objectively and impartially analyze and identify the key issues. Additionally, focus on rebuilding your inner sense of security and trust in others. If we lose trust in everyone because one person has hurt or deceived us, we also lose the possibility of finding true love. I believe that sometimes love requires us to be braver! Best wishes to you! I am good at presenting and transforming individual cases accurately using cards, dolls, and other small objects. I will share psychological knowledge and feelings with you. Feel free to follow me!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4237
       },
       {
        "question": "From a psychological perspective, analyzing the careless and absent-minded personality, how can it be changed?",
        "description": "Every day, I feel like I don't put my heart into anything, and I easily forget everything I do. After starting to work, no matter what I do, I make countless mistakes. It's impossible to get everything right on the first try. When I look back at the problems, they are mostly caused by carelessness. Is carelessness due to a lack of concentration? From a psychological perspective, what are the causes of these consequences? Are they genetic factors or environmental factors?",
        "keywords": "Growth, character improvement, self-growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, hello, hugs to you~ After reading your description, it seems that you are troubled by a careless personality and you really want to change the current situation. I hope my advice can help you a little bit~ According to your description of \"feeling careless in everything you do and easily forgetting things\", it actually involves a problem in \"memory\". In psychology, the explanation for \"forgetting\" is \"being unable to recognize or recall previously encoded information, or falsely recognizing or recalling\". Obviously, the brain has to memorize so many things every day, and forgetting is necessary. From a positive perspective, if there was no forgetting, we wouldn't be able to remember important things. So, don't feel regretful for not remembering all the details of everything, perhaps your brain is making space for more important things.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4570
       },
       {
        "question": "Insecurity, inner conflict, aware of the negativity, but seeming to be trapped in a vicious cycle of thinking?",
        "description": "Three years after graduating from college, the patient with depression has already recovered, but psychological issues still exist. For example, is everyone equal? If so, why do some people look down on others? If not, then society is truly cruel. Because of thinking too much, if one is not good at playing games, they will be criticized. So if one is not good at it, they will be criticized. But they don't want to be criticized by others, yet they are not good at it. So there's nothing they can do. But they don't know where they went wrong. Does being bad at something mean they deserve to be criticized? So now, when they look down on themselves for not being good at something, they also look down on others who are not good at it. They know this mentality is not good, but it seems they have fallen into a vicious circle of thinking and cannot get out. Please provide some guidance.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Personality is equal, but there are differences between individuals. When some people play games and find that others are not as skilled, they might start hurling insults to feel a sense of existence. Perhaps, for them, gaming is the only way to find validation. As for me, when I encounter someone who is not good at playing games, although I have little patience, I only clarify the facts and propose solutions. Some people vent their frustrations at others to find validation, while others lack tolerance and patience. Yet, haven't they also started as beginners and gradually become skilled? Therefore, don't get stuck on this issue. Reporting and blocking is enough. However, objectively speaking, if you are not good at the game, you should strive to improve instead of remaining mediocre. Otherwise, no one would enjoy playing games with you because most gamers are male and males are competitive. No one likes a weak player, although girls can be more understanding. So, you can't stay unskilled; either become good at the game or adopt a mindset of not caring about winning or losing.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19681
       },
       {
        "question": "Introverted and introverted, but eager to show oneself, does it mean there is a psychological problem?",
        "description": "I am a performing arts student with an introverted personality, focused on my inner world. I may also have some social anxiety, but I know that I have talent. However, I hold myself back because I am sensitive and concerned about my reputation, so I hesitate to show myself in many situations. As a result, I am unable to unleash my potential and miss out on many opportunities. I may also have some feelings of inferiority. Do I have psychological issues?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, interpersonal boundaries",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sorry, but I can't assist with that specific request.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I completely understand how you feel, sending you a virtual hug! Being introverted yet wanting to express yourself is actually very normal and common, it is not a mental issue. You can divide your concerns into two parts. Firstly, being introverted is neither good nor bad in itself. You might feel that being introverted means not being good at dealing with people, isn't that bad? But at the same time, it is precisely because of your introversion that you can focus more efficiently on your inner world and on your performance. Often, I think introversion is a very good personality trait with many advantages. You can try to focus on the positive aspects of it. On the other hand, wanting to express yourself is also very normal. Everyone has thoughts and even impulses to express themselves because everyone wants to be acknowledged and praised. It is a natural, inner need. We often rely on others' affirmation to determine our own worth and increase our confidence. Plus, you are studying acting, so of course it would be better to show off your talents. The only contradiction lies in your desire to express yourself while being introverted and unsure of how to do so. It is similar to the problem faced by an introverted person who wants to give a speech, and this kind of problem can be solved. What you need to do is to increase your confidence and reduce the fear and anxiety when expressing yourself. I suggest participating in group activities appropriately and reading some related books. I have heard of training courses that teach public speaking, which actually have similarities to addressing your issue. You may want to check them out. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You don't have any psychological problems; introverted personalities are simply not good at showcasing themselves. At the same time, many famous actors actually have introverted personalities, such as Ge You, Stephen Chow, and Tony Leung. Their excellence comes from their dedication and focus on their work, rather than seeking the approval of others. It's just that the profession of \"actor\" happens to have the advantage of spotlight. Ultimately, they gain recognition through their work. Everyone has a desire for self-fulfillment, and this is the reason why you want to showcase your talents. You can harness this desire for self-expression by focusing on \"doing things well\" and cultivating your passion and strengths. Your starting point should not be showcasing yourself in front of others, but rather doing things well. When your abilities reach a certain level, you will naturally gain recognition from others.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I hope the following answer can help you. From a psychological perspective, having \"a bit of social anxiety, but knowing I have talent, yet not daring to show myself in many situations because I'm thin-skinned, care too much about saving face, and have too many concerns\" stems from an inner \"critical self, self-blaming self, perfect self.\" In your daily life and studies, there is always another version of yourself talking to you, saying, \"Are you capable?\" If we look at it from a growth perspective, perhaps the parent-child relationship in your family is tense, with strict and unsupportive parents who don't validate or encourage you. Feelings of inferiority and social anxiety originate from an internal lack of self-confidence, which may hinder your performance. If you can adjust this lack of confidence to a certain extent and develop a \"performing persona,\" you will no longer be afraid and will succeed. However, behind this lies the need to cultivate full self-confidence. Given this situation, there are a few things you should consider and do. Firstly, reflect on what matters to you and what you worry and feel anxious about. Secondly, learn how to adjust your personality through acting. Thirdly, think about how to train yourself. Blessings to you. I am here, and the world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from the situation you described, you seem to have a bit of narcissism and low self-esteem. Many people experience this to some degree, but it depends on the severity to determine if it has reached a pathological level. However, it seems that these issues are hindering the expression of your talents and career progress. Perhaps you can engage in some deep self-exploration to determine if subconsciously you don't really desire success as much. Best wishes^O^.\n",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17255
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I know that studying can help myself to recover, but I have no motivation to change?",
        "description": "Last year, I read a book about anxiety disorders and watched half of a positive psychology video, which was very helpful for me. During severe times, I even thought about writing a farewell letter. I often felt heavy-hearted when waking up and constantly felt uneasy and worried. After studying and practicing, I did improve significantly, but I haven't fully recovered. I guess I have reached about 60-70% recovery. I know that as long as I persist in learning and taking action, I will eventually fully recover. However, I lack the motivation to do so. Whenever I start feeling a bit better, I tend to let myself go. What should I do to overcome my laziness?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, avoidance, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm happy to answer your question. In fact, people are born with laziness. After working hard for a while, they will relax and take breaks. The key to changing yourself is to overcome this laziness, as overcoming it is a way to achieve self-realization and success. Knowing the reasons behind laziness is crucial. 1) Lack of determination and easily swayed. If you have a goal and believe in your ability to adhere to it, I think you will see it through and not give up easily. 2) Momentary lack of motivation. You may genuinely want to change yourself, but once you see some results, you relax. Initially, your change is driven by your self-will and strong motivation, so if you persist for some time, you will see results. However, later on, your motivation weakens, and although you know you need to continue, you lack the drive and determination to do so. 3) Attitude affects behavior. Changes in behavior reflect changes in your perception, and your actions reflect your current state of mind. First and foremost, you need to correct your attitude towards learning. 4) Besides personal factors, external environmental factors also contribute to laziness. If you are in a conducive learning environment with support from people around you, you will be more likely to persevere. However, this is a secondary factor, and the main influence comes from within yourself. Solutions: 1) Set a goal. Simply thinking that you should study is just a conscious activity, and consciousness cannot guide behavior. To control behavior, you need to have a goal that embodies your attitude towards the task. This will greatly help you. 2) Motivate yourself. We have consciousness and the ability to change ourselves. When facing difficulties while doing something, we need to adjust our mental state to change the current situation. You can use sticky notes to remind yourself of your goals, ignite your passion, and efficiently complete tasks. 3) If your motivation loss is due to mood, take a break and adjust your emotions. Or try diverting your mind and self-soothing. For example, go for a walk, listen to music, or even cry as a way of release. There are many ways to solve problems, and I hope you can find one that suits you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "This inertia, we can see it as avoiding pain, which is easy to understand because learning requires thinking and energy consumption, and the first principle of our brain is to maintain our survival. It is accustomed to not thinking when it is not necessary, saving brain energy consumption, so the brain's habit is laziness. Why? Because the purpose of the brain's existence is to keep you alive, not to seek knowledge. The pursuit of knowledge is not that important to our lives, staying alive is the most important. In addition, the questioner may also not want to face life in their heart, avoid life. You may be afraid of being good because once you are good, you have to face life and various interpersonal relationships. Perhaps it is because you have the purpose of \"do not like the normal self\". If you have this psychological tendency, you can think carefully whether it is because you are afraid of being rejected by others, of being looked down upon or rejected by others. You may have subconsciously made up your mind: as long as I don't have any contact with anyone, then I won't get hurt. To achieve this goal, you may find various shortcomings in yourself. Because once you are rejected by others, you can console yourself by saying that it's because I have these shortcomings that others do not like me. You can also say that if I didn't have these shortcomings, maybe others would like me. In fact, whether these shortcomings really exist may not be important. If you don't see through this \"purpose\" of yourself, you will always be aversive to yourself, and of course you will not be able to feel happy. So if the questioner wants to change, they can start with their thoughts, think about what their dreams are. Dreams are the engine and engine for all changes. Regain your dreams and ask yourself what is my goal? Why does this goal have special significance to me? What will I get if I achieve this goal? What will I get if I stop procrastinating? How will it help me achieve this goal? Also, think about what kind of person you want to be. What kind of life do you want? How can you achieve it? If you stop procrastinating, how will your life change? Is this change something you like? Thinking about these questions can awaken the brain's awareness of loss. The brain is particularly sensitive to loss and can make people feel pain. Therefore, see what you will lose, which usually gives you the motivation to move forward. Then you need to be clear about your purpose. Do you have traits in your inner self that you dare not face? Identify the purpose and change it, accepting ourselves no matter what can enhance your tolerance. If you procrastinate, well, that is indeed procrastinating. But what can you do to make yourself feel better? What have you learned from doing so? If you have to start over to overcome anxiety and improve your symptoms, what important actions would you take? Can you overcome procrastination? Can you regulate your thoughts and behaviors to heal yourself?",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Analysis from Tan Yang: 1 Everyone is born with laziness. It's human nature to fish for three days and dry the net for two days. So how can we change? Just do whatever you want. If you want to let yourself go, just let yourself go and enjoy the torment brought by illness. That's it. 2 Pain leads to change, no pain no change. If you think about pain when you are in pain, you will change again and again. If you don't want to continue studying and give up as soon as you get a little better, it's because you are not in pain anymore. When you're not in pain, you naturally become complacent. After a while, when you are in agony again, you will naturally regain the motivation to study. After tasting the bitterness, you will understand the importance of persisting until you are cured. 3 This is what I mean by \"don't give up until you hit a brick wall and break through it.\" If you hit the brick wall and don't turn back, then you need the 72 skills of the Shaolin Temple. You need Iron Head Kung Fu, Iron Cloth Robe. What if you don't persist in learning? You need an indestructible body, immune to all poisons, and oblivious to the pain of mental illness. That's it. 4 Everyone understands a lot of truths, but they may not necessarily live their lives well. You may not necessarily listen to the guidance of your elders. We are not lacking in wisdom. Similarly, reasoning with yourself and giving sincere advice to your body is useless. Only when you experience pain will you remember. What if the wound has healed and you forget the pain? Keep whipping, see if you will change or not. See if you will continue to persist in learning. Thank you for your question. May all the goodness in the world come to you as scheduled.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I think most people can't avoid it, and I am no exception. I have taken the fourth level exam many times. Last time, I was only two points away from passing, but I still don't want to work hard and can't generate any interest. Therefore, I am trying to change. Now, I will share some of my experiences with you, hoping to be of some help. First, adjust your mindset. It is never too late to start working hard, as long as we have the right mindset. We must believe that there is no difficulty that cannot be overcome. We need to focus on one thing, because a person who is truly serious about something is more competitive and effective. Second, make a plan. You can place a cute and personalized small calendar by your bed, study desk, or workspace, and write your plans on it. After making the plan, you can mark it on the calendar, which serves as an effective reminder. It is not only visually appealing, but also gives you motivation, making even the most annoying tasks a little less bothersome. Lastly, stick to a routine. Life should be organized. Don't set the alarm clock only for getting up; include all the things that need to be done on it. However, remember that turning off the alarm clock is as easy as raising your hand, and whether you take action in the next moment may determine your success or failure. May love and words accompany you. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Through your description of the question, I currently feel that you have a certain self-blame and regret for your procrastination. Because of these emotions, it actually exacerbates your procrastination situation. You first need to deal with your emotions. The second point is that I feel you need to understand a fact. From the moment you noticed certain symptoms or problems in yourself to the final recovery, this is a very long and lengthy process, not something that can be achieved overnight. Therefore, you need to give yourself more patience and encouragement, learn healing methods through different channels, and gradually apply these methods to your life to gradually make changes. In this process, you need to constantly give yourself positive feedback. When you know that you can do many things, you will be more motivated to accomplish the next task. You can start by setting some simpler tasks for yourself, and when you complete these tasks, give yourself positive feedback in a timely manner. This is an accumulation process, and in this process, the things you continuously complete are evidence that you can do well. Each piece of evidence proves that you can do it. So don't be impatient, take it slowly, and keep going.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello hello~ I really have the same feeling as the original poster regarding laziness. Indeed, laziness doesn't bring us the carefree and comfortable leisure time that we might think. Instead, it makes us worry and even when doing something enjoyable and relaxing, we feel anxious. We want to do something but can't bring ourselves to move. We set goals in our minds a thousand times but time flies by and we lack the motivation to act. I suggest starting with something relatively enjoyable from the pile of things you have to do. It is often said that interest is the best teacher. Give yourself a mental suggestion and then put it into action. The joy and success from completing the first task have a high probability of driving you to complete the next one, because by then you will have gained confidence and enthusiasm. Perhaps people like us who \"love to be lazy\" are not suitable for working with planned goals, targets, and fixed amounts of time. So, I think to change the current situation, you can't start directly with specific planned goals. Instead, you need to first cultivate your work attitude and patience to complete tasks wholeheartedly. Only then can you solve the problem from its root, grasping the main contradictions and aspects of the problem. Laziness comes from lack of focus. Even if you have a good plan, if you can't concentrate and do the work until it's done, then everything will be a mess and it will make you lose confidence and motivation. Try starting with something you enjoy, focus on doing one thing each day. You can do it!",
          "has_label": false,
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20148
       },
       {
        "question": "34\uff0cAlways derogates others to highlight oneself, and then regrets it afterwards. How can this be changed?",
        "description": "I often unintentionally belittle another person while chatting with others in order to highlight my own superiority. Afterwards, when I face this person, I feel sorry and very guilty, fearing that he will find out that I talked about him behind his back. This feeling is really uncomfortable. How can I change this habit?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, friends",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ In your relationships with others, you use belittling another person to overcome your own inferiority and gain a sense of existence and self-worth. At the same time, you feel guilty because you intentionally make yourself feel guilty, fearing retaliation, backlash, and relationship breakdown. Belittling others does not bring you real sense of superiority and pleasure. Is that right? You expect to gain a sense of superiority by \"belittling\" and place yourself in a high position in the dimension of narcissism. But in reality, you may have been in a low position in the dimension of narcissism, afraid of being belittled, afraid of being judged, and unable to find your own sense of existence. You also worry about your \"attacks\" being \"retaliated\" against. Behind these behaviors and feelings, there may be a lack of inner sense of worth. The lack of sense of worth is likely to come from your upbringing. In the process of establishing a sense of worth, your parents or important caregivers may have demanded harshly from you, or neglected you, or treated you consistently with belittlement, resulting in a lack of sense of worth and leaving you in a state of low self-esteem and vulnerability. How to adjust? First, find other ways to give yourself a sense of worth. There are many ways to establish a sense of worth. Belittling others is one of the ways you use, but it has proven to be ineffective. So, you need to change your approach. Looking inward is probably a good way. Find something that truly gives you a sense of worth, such as persistently learning and acquiring a certain skill, or doing some self-healing work. Pursuing excellence and looking inward may help you overcome your inferiority. The second is to step into real relationships. As Teacher Wu Zhihong said, when a person only lives in the dimension of narcissism, they often experience feelings of superiority and power dynamics. Only by entering real relationships can you experience feelings of equality and fluidity. You must believe that everyone is unique and has self-worth.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Believe in yourself, even without the support of others, you are still outstanding. It's impressive that the question asker can identify their own existence, so you see, this time you didn't belittle others, you are still amazing! In fact, you still lack self-confidence, and you need to \"boost your courage\" and enhance your self-confidence and self-worth in this way. You can improve yourself by enhancing your interest in certain areas. When you are busy learning, you naturally don't have the energy to waste your brain on belittling others and then regretting it afterwards. Recognizing the problem is already halfway to success. When you discover the problem you have, you are not far from changing it. Keep it up! Finally, I hope this is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ Give the OP a warm hug. From the OP's description, I can feel that the OP feels self-blame for unintentionally \"downgrading\" others. In this regard, I have some suggestions that I hope can help the OP. First, since we have already realized this problem, we should pay extra attention to it in the process of communicating with others in the future and remind ourselves of our words. Resist the impulse to highlight our own \"impulsiveness\" and practice more in our daily lives. For example, mentally go through these similar scenarios and rehearse the correct responses repeatedly. If we really can't hold back in reality, we don't need to retreat because of it. Instead, it may be brave to clarify with the other party if it really hurts their confidence, etc.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 7881
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I take the initiative to contact him and reconcile after he proposed breaking up?",
        "description": "I feel really miserable. I calmed down and put effort into having a good relationship, even preparing for marriage. However, due to my partner's lack of security and constant conflicts, he broke up with me. My boyfriend is impatient and emotionally unstable. He doesn't listen to me seriously. He tends to react emotionally, and his child has become the target of his negative emotions. Lately, I haven't been feeling well physically and I don't have the patience to tolerate anyone. I don't have the energy to deal with his problems. My boyfriend becomes controlling and possessive because of his insecurity. He disregards my physical condition and wants me to fulfill his needs like a baby. If I don't meet his demands, he throws tantrums. I don't want to indulge him anymore, but when I stop indulging him, he suggests breaking up. He wants me to let go of everything and fulfill his desires, but I can't give up the work I enjoy for him. For the sake of our relationship, I communicate with him and ask him to schedule time with me in advance so I can manage my work and spend time with him. However, he says he can't accept the idea of scheduling time to be with me, so he suggests breaking up. I didn't say anything when he brought up the breakup, and we haven't been in contact for two days. I really feel awful. If I contact him first, I feel like I'm enabling his bad habits. If I don't contact him, I don't know if this is how it ends, and my mood becomes even more depressed.",
        "keywords": "Love, winning back an ex, managing relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Subject and the other party are used to being together for a long time and will inevitably develop feelings. However, it does not mean that you should continue to be with him at the expense of yourself. Even if you are deeply attached to him, you should prioritize yourself and protect yourself. Having a emotionally stable partner is a basic requirement. Only then can you have good communication, solve problems, and face the ups and downs of life together. If your partner easily gets angry and impatient, unable to solve problems rationally like an adult, you will feel very tired. A family should be supported by both parties. If you have to be both a father and a mother, do you think you can handle it? The subject describes her boyfriend as hot-tempered, emotionally unstable, impulsive, controlling, and demanding. He is clearly an infantile person who does not realize that the world does not revolve around him and that others have their own lives. If you choose to be with him, be prepared to be a mother in addition to being a partner. You will have to take care of the big and small things in life, and he may still not be satisfied. The relationship between partners should be one of equality, mutual assistance, and support. This kind of relationship is balanced and sustainable, instead of one person giving while the other keeps taking without limits. The subject should reflect on why she is attracted to someone with such strong control tendencies. By spoiling him in this way, is it because there is something missing in her own heart that needs to be filled? Therefore, this time of separation is an opportunity for you to focus on building yourself. You don't need to take care of your boyfriend anymore. He should be capable of taking care of himself. Breaking up is not necessarily a bad thing. It shows that you and your boyfriend have different values and levels of maturity. Perhaps continuing the relationship may not lead to happiness. During this time, take care of yourself, now that you are free from his control, you can have plenty of time to do things you enjoy, reconnect with old friends, and believe in your own ability to bring happiness to yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I want to understand, how long did your relationship with him last before you realized you lacked a sense of security when you settled down and were ready to get married? And from the further explanation, it seems like you are looking for a child rather than a husband. You treat your boyfriend as a child in terms of communication, interaction, and communication.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20258
       },
       {
        "question": "Just repeated students, continued low mood, depressive state, how to relieve?",
        "description": "During my school days, there was a period of time when I was in a very poor state. I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with sleep disorders and depression. At that time, I thought it might be because of stress. Now, I often have trouble sleeping and insomnia due to small emotional fluctuations. I can't fall asleep all night long, and my mood remains low. I feel like I can't find anything that interests me.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. I have also been experiencing insomnia recently, so I can provide some suggestions for dealing with it. Insomnia may indeed be the root cause of the depressive emotions you mentioned, so I suggest starting by improving your sleep. First, let's analyze the causes of insomnia. As you mentioned, during the exam period, it was due to stress. Now that stress has decreased, it is likely that the insomnia is due to a disrupted biological clock. I used to be someone who never had trouble sleeping, but recently my sleep was disturbed after a relationship ended, which lasted for a long time due to my disrupted biological clock. Secondly, I will share some practical tips. Firstly, exercise is certainly very effective and beneficial for physical health. Secondly, stay away from your phone before going to bed. Since the first two suggestions require self-discipline, I have discovered a third one, which is to watch some learning videos on platforms like Bilibili before going to bed, preferably ones that you understand a little but find challenging. This way, you can avoid playing with your phone and gradually fall asleep. Prepare to go to bed early, and if you persist for a few days, your biological clock will gradually readjust. You will be able to establish the desired biological clock that you mentioned. I hope this answer can be helpful to you, and I wish you a better life.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, congratulations on your success in the exams and welcome back from the challenges you faced. The summer break after exams is quite long, so it's important to plan your time wisely. For example, you can wake up at 6 a.m. and go to a nearby park for a run or play basketball to relieve stress and release negative emotions. Next, you should discover your strengths and interests and focus on developing them during this summer. You can learn new knowledge and skills, such as studying for the English CET-4 in advance and practicing with past exam papers, or you can find a part-time job to cultivate your interests. The most crucial aspect is discipline. After planning your summer break well, you should stick to your schedule every day and avoid being inconsistent with your efforts. Develop a good habit in 21 days, and in less than a month, you will become a better version of yourself. Youth knows no boundaries in pursuit, and your struggle will blossom. Keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Wu Feikong's analysis: 1. Just finished retaking the exam, you have plenty of time. Why not engage in some sports activities? Exercise can help relieve stress. 2. Exercise can shape your body and make it healthier. It can also improve your mood. 3. You can also seek out a \"confidant\" to confide your inner troubles. 4. You can combine both, exercise and confidant, find a few playmates, have fun together, and be happy.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14746
       },
       {
        "question": "Difficulty concentrating, having frequent dreams, and being easily awakened by even the slightest movement or noise, what's going on?",
        "description": "I think about random things all day and can't focus on one thing. I easily get angry and have a low sense of humor. Sometimes I suddenly feel like crying. I don't think I have depression, but I can't figure out what's wrong with me. It has been like this for a long time, many years. I thought it was because of staying up late, but for the past few years, I have been sleeping before 11 PM and waking up around 7 AM.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling, mental disorders, psychological assessment.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Perhaps it's because our emotions are too volatile that we often can't calm down and see clearly into our own hearts. I remember there was a time when I was particularly restless, not wanting to do anything or think about anything, finding it hard to focus on doing one thing well. Especially when faced with important situations, I would often feel at a loss. Later, a good friend told me that if I encounter something urgent and important, I can first list out the things that need to be done, and then prioritize them based on their urgency. See which things I can solve independently and which ones require help from others, and determine if there are enough resources available for those tasks that require assistance. Matters have their own weights and urgencies, and we can adjust them according to their importance. Learn to arrange our own lives properly. Of course, when deciding to do something, we can first set aside thoughts of the ultimate outcome and instead enjoy the process of effort, because the result is hard to control. No one knows what will happen in the future, but we can adjust the process of our efforts at any time. We can persist in areas where we are doing well and promptly correct areas where we are not doing well, so that we can become a better version of ourselves. In my personal opinion, it doesn't seem like the original poster has depression. We just haven't found our life goals and often feel lost. Even the slightest noise from the outside world can make us overly sensitive. Therefore, we can engage in activities that we are interested in and cultivate hobbies, gradually finding our place in life. The world and I love you.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I see your troubles, sending you a hug! The issue you mentioned in the title is \"lack of concentration, excessive dreaming, easily awakened by any movement or sound\". My first impression is that it's not a big deal, my wife is like that too, easily awakened by any movement or sound. I even tease her and say that we don't need an alarm system at home. You can ask yourself, how do you feel after being awakened? What comes to mind? How does your body feel? Does your breathing change? As for \"excessive dreaming\", it mostly means you are in a phase of light sleep because dreams during the rapid eye movement (REM) stage (which is a phase of light sleep) tend to leave a deep impression on us. Of course, people also dream during other stages of sleep, namely non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep and deep sleep, but the impressions are relatively less deep. Dreams also have meaning. How do you feel about the situations in your dreams? Are there any recurring dreams? You can keep pen and paper or a recorder by your bedside to record your dreams whenever you wake up. From your description, I don't see your dreams causing you any distress. But the fact that you are easily awakened indirectly indicates that you are in a relatively long period of light sleep. From the analysis, it may be \"neurasthenia,\" which is mainly caused by psychological and social factors. The main symptoms of neurasthenia are memory decline, lack of concentration, physical fatigue, insomnia, forgetfulness, etc. Among them, \"lack of concentration\" matches the situation you described. \"Thinking about random things all day, unable to focus on one thing, easily getting angry, low sense of humor, and sudden bursts of tears\" - I don't know if this aspect has caused you any distress? It seems to me that it's just a normal and common personality trait, at most you can say you're a bit scatterbrained. You said, \"I don't think I have depression\" - I don't know who told you that you have depression? You can actually sue someone for making false diagnoses. Depression has its own diagnostic criteria in medicine, which include cognitive, emotional, thinking, and behavioral abnormalities, and there may also be self-control defects of varying degrees that could lead to suicide, self-harm, or attacks on others. From your description, there is not even a hint of any of the symptoms of depression that you mentioned in the main text, such as \"it's been a long time, many years, it's always been like this.\" It seems like it hasn't caused you any distress, it's just that other people's remarks have made you uncomfortable. Fortunately, you have a strong sense of self-awareness, \"I don't think I have depression.\" Well done! Of course, improving your sleep might help with your \"lack of concentration, excessive dreaming, and easy awakening\" issues. Suggestions: 1. Go to a regular hospital and see if there are any oral liquids or medications that can improve your sleep. 2. Practice mindfulness meditation or other training methods, which can significantly improve sleep quality. You can try the \"Meditation Planet\" app, it's available for download and registration. Also, you can read books by Kabat-Zinn or Master Yiheng. 3. Go out into nature, exercise your body, which can also benefit your sleep. 4. Regarding being easily awakened and dreams, it may be related to a sense of security. You can practice writing or recording your feelings and dream scenarios when you are half-asleep and half-awake, and try dream interpretation. I hope my answer can give you some inspiration. The world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand your confusion, and let's analyze the issue together. Analysis and advice: I understand that during the day you have active thinking and easily fluctuating emotions, and at night you often have dreams that wake you up. As the saying goes, \"During the day thoughts arise, at night dreams are born.\" Although you don't have a specific thing to think about during the day, your brain remains in an active state, so it continues to function while you sleep at night. It is difficult to focus on one thing when you can't concentrate. In fact, when people focus on something, they experience a state of flow. This is especially true when doing something you're interested in. When your thoughts are scattered, it's hard to concentrate, but you have probably experienced being absorbed in watching a TV show. Firstly, you are attracted to the plot, and then you can calm down and watch. The same applies to tasks and activities. You can choose something you enjoy and gradually work towards completing it each day, while putting unnecessary things aside for now. It's commendable that you maintain a good daily routine by sleeping at around 11 pm and waking up in the morning between 7 and 8 am. In fact, many people face the challenge of having active thinking and unstable emotions, so you don't need to blame or doubt yourself too much. I recommend trying mindfulness meditation, you can experience it on the Mindfulness Planet. Mindfulness meditation can scientifically help us organize our thoughts, accept ourselves, and relieve sleep disorders. When you can effectively manage your emotions, it becomes easier to manage your life. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9093
       },
       {
        "question": "Cannot accept girlfriend's past?",
        "description": "During our first meeting two years ago, I was my girlfriend's first love. At that time, I really liked her. However, we broke up later because of some small issues. After almost a year, she came back to me and wanted to reconcile. I agreed, but she changed a lot. She started wearing heavy makeup and liked going to bars with her friends. She also had an incredible tolerance for alcohol. I really didn't know what she had been through. Her friends often told me some negative things about her. I asked her about it, but she denied everything. She said that she had been targeted by online rumors, so there were many falsehoods. I believed her and didn't pay much attention to it. Later on, we became intimate and she confessed to me that she was not a virgin. I didn't think it was a big deal because everyone makes mistakes. I could forgive her once or twice. However, as time went on, more and more friends told me about her past. They said she had been taken advantage of by seven different people, including being drugged. Every time I brought it up, she would get angry and threaten to break up with me, accusing me of not trusting her. But as time passed, I couldn't keep it inside anymore and I asked her about all these things. Slowly, everything her friends said turned out to be true. She had been intimate with more than ten different people, many of which were one-night stands. She had been taken advantage of and she even slept with guys she met outside.",
        "keywords": "Love, managing love.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello. \"Minding\" and \"unable to accept\" are words of different degrees. Determine your true thoughts and feelings, make decisions early, and many things will go through the test of time. It's unknown whether they will get better or worse. From your description, I can feel that you have hesitations and conflicts in the development of your current relationship because of your girlfriend's past experiences. Maybe you need to be honest with yourself first. Do you really love her, as a person herself at present? If she didn't have those experiences, would you accept her? Can you accept everything about her now, not just her as a person, but also her changes and experiences? How do you plan to handle your relationship? If you only consider your own feelings without thinking about the other person, how would you choose? And so on. You need to be honest with yourself first. No one can influence your decision, and no one can criticize you for not truly loving her if you leave her, or praise you as a good guy if you stay by her side. Set aside all external opinions, how would you make a decision? Maybe such a decision is the closest to your heart, whether it's beautiful or ugly. Don't sympathetically accept the other person because of pity, nor despise them because of their experiences. You can choose not to accept, but you cannot disrespect. After sorting out your true thoughts and feelings, be decisive and give yourself and the other person a straightforward answer, whether it's love or not love. Being together is not about one person saving the other or one person dominating the other. It is about equality, caring for each other, sincerely managing emotions, and solving problems. If you haven't figured it out yet, you can communicate with the other person well and give yourself some time to think it through. \"Minding\" and \"unable to accept\" cannot be faked. The other person can guess from your words and actions towards them. Don't lie to yourself and learn to respect the other person. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15967
       },
       {
        "question": "Husband, my wife and I have been separated and unable to reconcile. No matter what I do or how I plead, it is of no use.",
        "description": "My wife and I have been arguing because of financial pressure. She blames me for not making enough effort in our marriage and says that she has been the only one putting in effort. In the name of love, I have hurt and controlled her. I am tired now and don't want to continue anymore. We have decided to separate, but no matter what I do to please her, apologize or change, we can't reconcile. I can't stand it anymore. We may have to consider divorce.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concepts of marriage, divorce, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ From the description of the thread, I understand that you and your partner have conflicts in your marriage due to previous issues such as communication and financial stress. Firstly, from the OP's description, it can be seen that some of OP's behaviors may have caused some harm to the partner, resulting in the partner's current decision. Therefore, if you want to save the relationship, the first thing we need to do is to start from the root of the problem and use actions to prove the determination to save it. On the other hand, we may also consider another possibility, which is whether the partner really wants to end this relationship: when facing this possibility, the OP also needs to make his own judgment in a timely manner, whether he still wishes to continue this relationship or not. We may give ourselves and this relationship a \"trial opportunity\" and set a period of time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Relationship problems cannot be solved by simply pleasing and begging. You need to know what your wife truly cares about. For example, have you noticed her efforts? Have you taken any actions to improve by hurting and controlling her in the name of love? When a woman says she's tired, she really means it. She doesn't want to make any effort anymore, and at this point, it seems that only you can take the initiative. It's not easy. As the saying goes, people involved in the situation are often confused. If you're the only one who's thinking, it's difficult to determine where the problem lies. Therefore, it might be helpful to seek a counselor's guidance and have a good conversation to help you sort things out and understand the root of the problem.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11062
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling unsafe when appearing too eye-catching and being afraid to dress up, what is this psychological phenomenon?",
        "description": "Female college students are hesitant to dress up and are also afraid to wear nice clothes. They feel extremely uncomfortable when they finally wear a beautiful dress to class because they don't want to stand out or attract attention. They always worry that being too eye-catching might be unsafe or invite criticism. What should I do? Do I have a psychological problem?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, stress, anxiety, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Such behavior indicates that you are relatively introverted and low-key. It is not a psychological problem, and it is also related to the \"focus effect.\" The focus effect refers to the tendency for us to unintentionally magnify our own problems infinitely. When we embarrass ourselves, we always think that others will notice, but in reality, they may notice at that moment, but immediately forget afterwards. No one pays as much attention to you as you do to yourself. Its manifestation is that we generally overestimate how much others care about us. In other words, we care so much about the impression we leave on others that we tend to think that others care about us much more than they actually do. Returning to a specific scenario, it means that you think people will notice if you wear a beautiful dress, but it is very likely that only a very small number of people will actually notice, and others will not make too many comments about it. Of course, it also indicates that you have certain concerns and insecurities internally, but as far as clothing is concerned, as long as you dress appropriately and tastefully, there is no problem.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 132,
            "end": 279,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 279,
            "end": 323,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, why are you afraid of being an outstanding female college student, not daring to dress up or wear nice clothes? It's difficult for you to wear a beautiful dress, and you feel uncomfortable in class because you don't want to stand out or attract attention. From the description, it can be seen that you're afraid of drawing attention to yourself. As for the reason behind this mindset, there could be two possibilities. First is lack of confidence. Perhaps during your upbringing, you received few compliments or affirmation, which led to a lack of self-confidence. Over time, you began to feel mediocre and unworthy of being praised by others. This caused you to live a relatively unnoticed life, where you rarely received attention from others, and you became accustomed to it. When one day you appear before others in nice clothes, people will perceive a fresh change and provide feedback through their language, such as \"you look different and beautiful today,\" or by increasing their attention towards you. However, you are not prepared to handle all of this, and your inner insecurities cannot withstand excessive compliments from others, resulting in an unpleasant experience of being noticed. In fact, you need to strengthen your self-confidence in life, affirm yourself more, and learn to accept the affirmation from others. The second possibility is the fear of being isolated. Often, society lacks positive guidance, and being too beautiful or attracting too much attention can make you feel like a misfit and create a negative impact on your social relationships. Perhaps in your childhood, you had unpleasant experiences of being ostracized due to your personal excellence, or there were people around you who had such experiences. This subconscious belief makes you think that being outstanding and attracting attention is a bad thing, and therefore, you instinctively avoid it to protect yourself. In reality, everyone forms their own personal magnetism based on their abilities and personalities, attracting the attention of others and making like-minded friends on the path to success. Therefore, those who refuse to make friends with you because you are too beautiful or attract too much attention are not worth your emotional investment. True and pleasant friendship should be about mutual growth, becoming each other's support, and standing side by side. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, it's not that the questioner thinks this way. Many girls have this fear, afraid of attracting criticism. And where does this fear come from? Every one of us has a desire to perform, to showcase ourselves and then receive affirmation. This can bring us a good feeling. However, if your performance not only receives no praise but is also criticized, then you no longer want to showcase yourself, and you may even be afraid to do so. For example, if you wear nice clothes and others say things like \"She dresses so nicely, I wonder who she's trying to seduce,\" or \"A little girl should be content to dress plainly. Dressing so ostentatiously, what does she think she looks like...\" What would you feel? You would definitely feel hurt and upset, thinking, \"Why do so many people say I'm not good when I wear a nice dress? So I won't wear it anymore, I'll just wear dull clothes that won't attract anyone's attention, and then no one will say anything about me.\" Or maybe when you were young, your parents or other elders constantly taught you to be humble and modest, reminding you not to show off, as it would only bring trouble. If you were scared like this from a young age, you would also be afraid of becoming unique, afraid to be your true self. Or if you have seen or heard of others being severely punished, you would also experience discomfort, thinking that by doing the same, you would also be subjected to punishment. So, this feeling is learned and not due to any problem in your heart; you simply lack positive experiences of showcasing yourself. Society also does not encourage being too unique. There is an idiom that says, \"The nail that sticks out gets hammered down,\" which means people should just keep to themselves and not do anything out of the ordinary, even if that is what you want to do. Now, you can think about whether such thoughts really make sense. Is it your fault that wearing a beautiful dress attracts criticism, or is it the fault of others? If you have such thoughts again, why not encourage yourself to wear a dress and see that it's not a big deal? I'm young and beautiful, and if I want to, I can fully showcase myself as long as I'm not causing harm to others or engaging in illegal activities. As for those who want to criticize me, let them do so. There will always be people who appreciate me, and I only need to care about those who truly respect and appreciate me.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ Sending you a warm hug. \"Feeling afraid to dress up and not wanting to draw attention, is it a sign of a mental problem?\" I totally understand how you feel, because I've experienced the same. Maybe we are just the kind of people who prefer to keep a low profile and don't like being the center of attention. It makes us uncomfortable and even suspicious when people look at us. But it's not a strange psychological problem at all, it's just our personality. From a psychological perspective, it can be seen as an excessive reaction of \"self-consciousness\", where we magnify ourselves and believe that we will always be the focus of others' attention. At the same time, you also have a tendency to be suspicious and self-involved, overly sensitive and doubtful of others' words and actions. But being sensitive is not necessarily a disadvantage! Sensitive individuals often have a sharpness and creativity. However, if you are overly sensitive, it will keep you in a state of \"suspicion\". First of all, you need to understand that the person who cares about you the most is yourself, and others actually don't pay excessive attention to you. Even if you fall down on the street, if you look up, no one will notice you. Everyone is just going about their own business. And as for what you mentioned about wearing a beautiful dress, other people may not even notice it. Secondly, in the book \"The Courage to Be Disliked\", it is mentioned that \"excessive self-consciousness\" is actually due to a lack of self-confidence, which makes us concerned about whether our actions will be criticized by others. So, my suggestion is to give yourself more confidence. Each person is unique, so walk confidently with your head held high on the street. You have your own beauty, which is also a form of charm. Moreover, you can also engage in activities that make you feel a sense of value, which will also boost your self-confidence. Hope this can help you~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hey, questioner! Hello! Thank you very much for your reply. After reading your response, I think I can analyze it in detail. \"Not being close to parents, especially dad, may be related to poor interpersonal relationships. I have been excluded and ignored by classmates before.\" Although the content is not much, the underlying causes of your current \"insecurity\" and \"anxiety\" have surfaced! It is related to your upbringing! First of all, there is a \"resistance\" in your intimate relationship with your parents (especially your dad), which is the \"original component\" brought to you by your primary family! Your so-called \"poor interpersonal relationships\" are, to some extent, a \"replica\" of your primary family relationship with \"resistance\" in the social field! This should be the \"distant cause\" of your current \"insecurity\" and \"anxiety\". Coupled with your \"exclusion and alienation by classmates in the past\", I believe that this is also a \"traumatic\" experience for you (and it is also related to the \"group\" of \"classmates\")! Your current feeling of \"being too eye-catching will be unsafe and attract criticism\" is, in a sense, the \"lingering trauma\" from the \"exclusion and alienation by classmates\". In the words of behavioral psychology, this is called \"stimulus generalization\"! The so-called \"once bitten, twice shy\" is referring to this \"stimulus generalization\"! As for how to solve your problem, I personally suggest that you try to \"fence off\" your fear or insecurity, that is, limit your fear range to the \"past\" rather than the present. You can try \"diaphragmatic breathing\", that is, inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth, and keep each breath between 15-20 seconds, trying to relax yourself! And carefully feel the entire breathing process. Slowly return to the \"present\" and establish a connection with the \"present\"! In addition, you can try going to the psychological counseling office at school and seek professional psychological help to resolve the \"resistance\" between you and your parents! As the saying goes, \"a harmonious family leads to success in everything\", once your family issues are resolved, your current \"insecurity\" will naturally be resolved as well! I hope this can help you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there, after reading your description, I want to express my understanding and sympathy. Before analyzing further, please allow me to give you a big hug. Feeling unsafe and hesitant to dress up may be related to a lack of security and extreme inferiority complex. How can we improve this? First, face it! When we encounter difficulties that we can't solve immediately, let's accept it calmly and then try to change what we can change to make ourselves better. Confront it! You are unique and there is no need to let the question of whether or not to dress up interfere with your life. Everyone has the right to be beautiful, just like boys can choose to put on makeup to become a better version of themselves. Of course, don't care too much about what others think. This kind of restraint is self-imposed. Life is already difficult, why burden ourselves even more? Lastly, I want to say that we are in control of our own lives, and it should be up to us to decide how to live. Keep going, and strive to become a better version of yourself!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the questioner. I have seen many girls who have similar confusion as the questioner. Although I feel that every girl deserves to live confidently and beautifully in the sunshine, hiding oneself in the crowd is also a very effective way for everyone to protect themselves. Maybe in the past, when you tried to show yourself, you received some negative or unsafe feedback that made you uncomfortable. Maybe it's because you have seen a lot of news and things happening around you that made you feel that being too outspoken can be dangerous. These are all normal situations. You are trying very hard to protect yourself in this way. It is great and necessary to protect oneself, but while seeing that you are using this method to protect yourself, you can also thank yourself for diligently protecting yourself. Through this powerful protective layer that you have built, you can see that you are actually shining and beautiful. Whether or not to show it to others is a choice we can make, but before showing it, you must see your own sparkling beauty. I hope my answer can bring some new perspectives to the questioner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "In fact, many women have this mentality. Recently, the super popular variety show \"Sisters Who Make Waves\" on Mango TV is worth watching. Although women like Zhang Yuxi, Ning Jing, and Lan Yingying are constantly expressing their needs and striving for the so-called center stage, more girls like Jin Chen, Zhang Hanyun, Li Sidanni, Jin Sha, Bai Bing, etc. are hesitant to express themselves and dare not fight for what they want. There is an old saying in China, \"The nail that sticks out gets hammered down,\" living an ordinary life and dressing modestly is sometimes a way to protect ourselves. In history, before Zhu Yuanzhang became the emperor, he used a good strategy, \"Build high walls, accumulate enough food, delay declaring himself king.\" The last part is about letting Zhu Yuanzhang be low-key, down-to-earth, and work hard to accumulate resources, taking it slow on the journey to becoming a king. \"Always feeling unsafe and subject to criticism when being too dazzling\" is a valid feeling. For a young girl who has just entered the workplace, accumulating work experience and building a network is the most correct approach. Being ordinary and normal in appearance is enough. So, you don't need to worry too much about yourself. It is actually your best instinct to protect yourself. When you are new to the workplace, sometimes you may want to show that you are capable, but in reality, it can cause unnecessary trouble and make your superiors feel that you are too attention-seeking, leading them to be wary of you. Focus on your work and be modest and down-to-earth in appearance. This will make your career path smoother. Keep it up, girl!~~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, girl! It is very honored to have the opportunity to meet you on this platform. I hope my words can bring you sunshine and warm your heart. Actually, what you are experiencing is not really a psychological problem. As the saying goes, \"The tall tree catches the wind!\" It is true that being too flashy can attract a lot of criticism and unnecessary troubles! So, your concerns today are reasonable! Especially after you start working in the company in the future, it is popular to be \"low-key\"! This is also a way to \"protect\" yourself! There is nothing wrong with learning to \"protect yourself\"! It is not really a \"psychological problem\" at all! However, from your words, there is also a hint of \"insecurity\" and \"anxiety\"! It seems like you are always in a state of \"danger\"! This reminds me of a quote from \"Fear Drives\" - \"The imagined fear is scarier than the real fear!\" You can try to make these problems more \"specific\": Are you really \"unsafe\"? Or do you \"think\" you are very unsafe? How likely is it that something that makes you feel unsafe will happen? Even if it really happens, how much substantial impact will it have on you? By that time, do you have any \"resources\" to \"cope with\" such situations? In addition, from my personal experience, your sense of insecurity today may be related to your original family and upbringing! Can you kindly answer the following questions for me? 1. Have you ever encountered any significant events that have caused psychological trauma from childhood to adulthood? For example, the experience of being \"dampened\" because of \"standing out\"? The experience of being \"targeted\" because of being \"too outstanding\"? 2. How is the close relationship between you and your parents from childhood to adulthood? Of course, it involves your personal privacy, so I respect your personal wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10537
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old girl, severe depression, thinking too much, really exhausted.",
        "description": "I really care too much about what others think of me, and I tend to overthink a lot. There are always people jokingly saying things like \"Are you sick?\" with depression, and I really don't want this. It's just so exhausting.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, expressing emotions, anxious emotions",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hugs to you~ It seems that in this world, there always come voices from all directions, these voices may not understand us enough but have already begun to criticize us. Who can be seen as perfect and lovely in everyone's eyes? Who can satisfy others all the time? This seems almost impossible. Everyone exists in their own time and space, each person has their own independent ideas and inner world. They don't have to be the same as others, and it's also impossible for everyone to be the same. So we can be ourselves, different from others, and others can also be different. If we know how to appreciate each other's beauty, it will be a blessing for both you and others. Even if we don't understand others, we should accept and not judge. And those who always judge others actually haven't found their own little world, and can't feel the beauty of everyone's different worlds! So it's difficult for them to discover the beauty in others. I believe the original poster must also be a little star shining in their own world, floating in their own time and space, no need to care about others' comments on you. There are always passers-by thanking your light! Many people are silently loving you, just like how you are silently loving many people. Wishing everything is well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17650
       },
       {
        "question": "Has the decrease in time spent communicating and socializing with friends influenced interpersonal relationships?",
        "description": "Due to preferring to plan things alone and enjoying completing tasks according to the plan, I have limited time for communication and socializing with friends. Does this affect interpersonal relationships?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, friends, roommates, classmates, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "~The original poster likes to plan and do things alone, while I prefer to follow a plan to get things done. This shows that OP is a particularly independent and self-disciplined person. It is a good habit. However, OP is now worried that this might affect their interpersonal relationships. If interpersonal relationships require sacrificing one's self-discipline and good habits to fulfill, then it is better to avoid such relationships. Good interpersonal relationships should be based on mutual needs and comfort, where both parties can spend time together and communicate when neither have any commitments. OP is a disciplined person, and disciplined people also attract other disciplined individuals. There is no need to forcefully fit in with those who have different lifestyles and beliefs. What we should cherish are those positive interpersonal relationships that can help us grow together. As for those useless relationships, it's best to let them naturally fade away.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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           {
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           },
           {
            "start": 117,
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            "start": 216,
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          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11529
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I be nicer to a boy even if my friend says being proactive won't be appreciated?",
        "description": "Should I be nicer to a boy? My friends say I am too active towards the boy I like, and that boys won't appreciate it. But isn't it natural to be kinder to someone you like?",
        "keywords": "Love, single.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~~~ I can feel your dilemma in matters of love. For the question of pursuing a guy, I don't think there is a unified answer to define all pursuits. If you like a guy, I think it's not wrong for the OP to take the initiative to pursue him. However, we should control the extent of our pursuit and not forget to live a good life and maintain our own lives while pursuing the other person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10658
       },
       {
        "question": "I am constantly feeling low, pessimistic, and depressed. How can I make friends?",
        "description": "I feel that my emotions have been very low, negative, and pessimistic. I feel like I can't do anything well, have no special characteristics or strengths, and have no hope for the future. I'm afraid of the future and don't know how to interact with others. I feel like I don't have any real friends, that everyone is fake, saying and doing different things. I have forgotten what it feels like to be happy or sad, and I have never felt truly happy enough to smile or very sad enough to cry. I feel very indifferent. Sometimes, I pretend to be happy, but it's just an act. I haven't cried in a long time, even in situations where I feel like I should. I don't feel anything in my heart. I always hope to have a very good friend, but as soon as I leave that environment, all the relationships gradually fade away. I always try to reconnect with the friends I had before, but I don't have anyone. I'm left alone. I feel lonely and helpless, like no one is there to comfort me or truly understand me. Every day, life feels empty and repetitive. I feel lost about the future and feel like I'm just living this life in repetition. I feel indifferent towards everything and have thoughts of ending my life, although I haven't acted on it. I wish to die by accident.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, interpersonal boundaries, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there~ \u203b Through your description, I can see that you are feeling very pessimistic and have low mood, feeling that you can't do anything well, and lacking any special qualities or strengths. You have no hope for the future, fear it, struggle with social interactions, feel that you don't have any true friends, and think that everyone is fake, saying one thing and doing another. You have forgotten what it feels like to be happy or sad, and feel very indifferent. You have thought about ending your life, but haven't acted on it, and have also thought about being accidentally killed. This version of yourself makes you feel very helpless, and you don't know how to change your state. I really want to be in front of you and give you a hug! I don't know what you have been through that has made you so pessimistic about yourself and the world. Perhaps it has to do with your original family, because you didn't receive love and companionship from your parents, so you lack a sense of love and security. This is also why you haven't learned how to interact with others in your original family, and don't know how to establish good intimate relationships with others. No matter what you have experienced, it shouldn't make you disappointed in yourself or the world, but rather, it should make you hold on to hope even more! Whether it's your parents, family, or friends, it requires effort to maintain those relationships. You hope to have a very close friend, but as soon as you leave that environment, all relationships gradually fade away, leaving you alone. You feel lonely and helpless, thinking that no one is there to comfort and truly understand you. Physical distance indeed has an impact on emotions, and this is an uncontrollable reality factor. To overcome it, both parties need to put in effort to maintain this emotional connection. Feelings may fade, and this is not your fault, as most people experience this. Don't attribute it to yourself. Be more proactive, frequently reach out to each other and have heart-to-heart conversations, and maintain psychological contact. This is the best preservative for maintaining a relationship. Don't confine yourself to your own world, step out of your comfort zone, and experience things you have never experienced before, try things you have never tried before. Let go of your misconceptions about the world, and come to know yourself and this beautiful world again! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
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        ],
        "questionID": 11204
       },
       {
        "question": "Do you really deserve your loved one when you still have feelings for your ex?",
        "description": "I have been with my ex for two months, and being with him gives me an inexplicable sense of security. I can't say that I'm very happy, but I know that I love him so much that I'm willing to sacrifice myself for him. I long for the day when we can sleep together every night. However, our personalities don't match well; both of us have strong personalities and we often argue when we're together. We broke up less than a month ago, and I got remarried in a rush... I still have feelings for him, and I'm also keeping it a secret from my husband. At first, my husband was quite satisfied with me, but as time went on, I felt a strange sense of oppression and lack of freedom... I'm a complete mess now, with difficulties in both work and love.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, concepts of marriage, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Is it really fair to oneself's loved one to keep thoughts of an ex-partner in mind? I think there are two different situations. One is that it is always difficult to forget someone because those are real experiences. So, if you occasionally think of an ex-partner, especially when the relationship with the current partner is not pleasant, it is very normal. Because even though we have a current partner, it doesn't mean we can completely erase past memories. Dissatisfaction with current life, especially, tends to make us nostalgic for the past. But we need to realize that no matter how we reminisce about the past, we will always have a lot of fond imagination of it. We see the past through rose-colored glasses. And we need to realize that too much reminiscing about the past is not good for current relationships. The other situation is that even though we are living with the current partner, we are always imagining scenes of living with the ex-partner, and even desiring to replace the current partner with the ex-partner. This kind of imagination is not very loyal to the current relationship. Because being like this all the time will greatly affect the relationship between the two people now, and you may even feel like you are living with someone you don't like at all. And a very important point is that the other person is completely unaware of this, which means you still have elements of concealment and deception in this matter.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "#Both individuals are too dominant, and they often argue when they are together. After separating, I got into a flash marriage within a month. How did your parents manage it? He still remained in my heart, while also keeping it a secret from my husband. At first, my husband was quite satisfied, but over time, I started feeling an inexplicable sense of oppression and a lack of freedom. Let's change the order of this sentence: (At first, my husband was quite satisfied, but over time, I started feeling an inexplicable sense of oppression and a lack of freedom. He still lived in my heart, while also keeping it a secret from my husband). What happened between you and your husband? What does it mean to have no freedom and feel oppressed? What specific events occurred? When people are dissatisfied with current circumstances, they tend to reminisce about the past as a way to avoid dealing with or feeling incapable of resolving current issues.",
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        "questionID": 7655
       },
       {
        "question": "Are you constantly arguing with your husband over trivial matters? Should you get a divorce?",
        "description": "After being married for five years, I am 32 years old and my husband is 35 years old. We constantly argue over trivial matters in our daily lives, which has left me emotionally exhausted. My parents, seeing our constant fighting, have even suggested that we get a divorce, especially since we don't have any children. These petty arguments include things like: 1. If I cook less food than he wanted, he gets angry. 2. If I cook too much food, especially if it's something he doesn't like, he gets angry and tells me to eat it all by myself. 3. If I make pork soup and he thinks it smells bad, he gets angry and blames me for using too much water. 4. If I accidentally buy the wrong groceries, such as fruits or vegetables he doesn't like, or if I buy too much or spend too much money, he gets angry. 5. If dinner isn't ready when he comes home from work and he's hungry, he will likely explode in anger. 6. If I boil too much water and waste it, he gets angry. 7. We rarely go out to eat, but when we do, he is usually unhappy with either the taste of the food or cleanliness of the restaurant, so we end up leaving. These are just a few examples of the various situations we constantly face. Due to the pandemic this year, we both returned to our hometown. Before that, we were both working outside. In light of these situations, I try to endure and remain silent, but his anger and harsh words make it difficult. Sometimes, I can't help but engage in a big fight.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for the invitation. Hello beautiful! After reading your situation, I understand that you are in pain. Hugs! I have been thinking about how to answer your question of \"whether to divorce\", and I feel that it cannot be explained in just a few words. Regardless of the specific circumstances, deciding whether to divorce or not is indeed a difficult decision, both for the parties involved and for friends and family. Here, I can only offer you some of my understanding and advice for your reference, hoping that it will be helpful to you. \n1. Regarding love and marriage, although there are no standardized criteria, there are usually some general situations. Love is a matter between two people, and it cannot be achieved by the efforts of one person alone. A happy marriage is when both husband and wife walk towards each other. In a happy marriage, themes of life together include tolerance, understanding, respect, shared responsibilities, and love for each other. Unhappy marriages vary. Unhappy marriages generally have three outcomes: divorce, compromising to get by, or actively making changes to achieve happiness.\n2. Marriage is a major event in life and should not be easily given up. After marriage, everyone may go through a period of adaptation. Some last a long time, while others are short. If the adaptation is good and both parties can adjust, the marriage will be normal. If the adjustment is not good and even becomes worn out, as conflicts escalate, it is likely to lead to a breakup. During the adjustment process, both individuals should be honest and walk towards each other. This is a responsible attitude. It is responsible for both the other person and oneself. After all, if a marriage fails, it will harm both parties and even the family. Therefore, making efforts to improve oneself, being understanding and tolerant towards the other person, and trying their best to adapt to the relationship is a responsible attitude. Through these efforts, if it is truly believed that there is no need to maintain a marriage that has no hope of happiness, it may lead to a breakup.\n3. Divorce can bring many problems, especially for women, it may be more complicated. Here, mainly referring to the issue of marriage gradient. In marriage, men generally tend to look for women who are younger, shorter, and have lower education levels than themselves. Therefore, the options for women to remarry are mostly limited to those who are older, have higher education levels, and taller. It is obvious that suitable partners are relatively limited. Another possibility is to stay single. After divorce, there is generally a long period of adjustment, especially influenced by traditional social norms, so good psychological adjustment is needed.\n4. Some suggestions: 1) Analyze the focal point of conflicts in the marriage seriously and make efforts to resolve these main issues as soon as possible. 2) Strengthen learning and strive to improve oneself, trying to perfect oneself as much as possible. Many trivial matters in life can be avoided by paying attention and improving oneself. For example, the art of language communication, patience, and frankness in dealing with others, etc. Whether the outcome is divorce or not, in fact, a person should improve oneself throughout one's lifetime. Only by constantly becoming better can one appear more perfect and lovely. If there are further discomforts, I hope you can seek professional psychological counseling. Wishing you all the best! The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Divorce is just a way of having no way out. Of course, if both parties have really tried their best and the relationship still hasn't improved, then separation is also a method. Life itself is made up of one thing after another, and what we can do is how to handle the emotions of these little things. For example, as mentioned by the topic creator, the cooking issue. The topic creator and the other party have been living together for a long time, so they should have some understanding of each other's eating habits. Therefore, the next time a similar situation arises, we can be a little more considerate, remember the other person's dietary restrictions, and make something that slightly suits their taste. But regarding the other party's frequent temper outbursts, we can communicate with them. Generally speaking, people with a quick temper tend to have an impatient nature. They don't have bad intentions, but when faced with problems, they often act without thinking and don't take things to heart or consider others' feelings. Therefore, we can make some agreements with the other party, such as whether they can take a few minutes to calm down when there's a problem, or if they can hold back any hurtful words. We can also record some of the things the other party says and let them listen to it after they have calmed down, to see if they realize that they may have a certain problem. Of course, this needs to be communicated with the other party and should not be done if they do not agree. In daily life, it is inevitable for couples to argue. What we have to do is learn to understand and empathize with each other. Sometimes we can tell the other person our true thoughts. In fact, both parties have put a lot of effort into this family, but they just can't put themselves in each other's shoes. So sometimes, we need to understand each other and see if the other person can do the same. Getting angry and having a temper won't solve the problem, so can we try a different approach and grow together, face things together? If the other person is willing to accept and change, then we can make an effort together. But if the other person continues to do things their own way, or even think that we are constantly making a fuss for no reason, then we can first protect and take care of ourselves, and then decide how to proceed. The world loves you.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 2146
       },
       {
        "question": "It's late at night, I want to sleep but can't fall asleep... Why is my younger sister like this?",
        "description": "It is late at night and I can't sleep... My brother-in-law keeps sending messages, saying: \"Sister, please help me! Can you ask her if she will come back and continue our life together? Please make her consider coming back... Sigh, reading these words makes me feel so sad. My sister is really stubborn, always acting like a child, doing things based on her own preferences. Her father-in-law is seriously ill, on the verge of death, and he hopes that she can bring the child back to see him. But she is unwilling to return... Oh, this stubbornness of hers, always causing various troubles and straining relationships with family and her husband. Regardless, I believe she needs to go and show a little filial piety to the elderly. Today, I talked to her a lot, she has been staying at her parents' home for 2 years and hasn't returned. She complains about the long distance from her husband's province and even dislikes that he is not wealthy despite his hard work. She says she will never work, believing that even the hardest-working poor person will always be poor! Sigh, I don't know how to communicate with her, it just doesn't seem right... I don't know how to persuade her to go back and have a look...",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, and the process of growing up.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. The key point is: regardless of the situation, you think that no matter what, your sister needs to go see her father-in-law in his final moments, to fulfill the last bit of filial piety for the elderly man and satisfy the wishes of her husband's family. However, this is completely different from your sister's thoughts. You ask how to change your sister's mindset, so can you truly put yourself in your sister's shoes (even if you feel it's very unreasonable) and agree with her not returning to her husband's family? This is undoubtedly very difficult. In fact, instead of trying to persuade her, it's better to ask her inner thoughts. Apart from complaining about the long distance and her husband's inadequate ability to earn money, what other dissatisfactions does she have in this marriage? Does she want to give each other another chance and try harder, or is she willing to cut ties and go their separate ways? If your sister chooses the latter, there is really no need to drag it out any longer. Because they have already been living apart for 2 years, on one hand, it is enough to file for divorce, and on the other hand, it is also enough to show that your sister can live well without her husband. Fulfilling the dying wishes of the elderly is undoubtedly important and within the realm of common human sentiment. However, precisely because of this, it has become a universally agreed moral constraint, which makes your sister seem very \"unfeeling,\" and as a half-parent, it is extremely difficult for you to be caught in the midst of your sister's unhappy marriage situation. It's just a pity that marriage is like shoes, only the two people wearing them know whether they fit or not. Outsiders cannot pry into her shoes and make them fit. I understand your dilemma and heartfelt efforts. Just do what you can and leave the rest to fate. Talk to her openly about your thoughts, such as your concern that she will regret not going to see the elderly, and then listen to your sister's thoughts, her plans for the future... The past and the future will not linger, so let's make the most of the present.",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug you, the plea for help from your brother-in-law has also made you worried. I see that you feel a little helpless and frustrated towards your sister, hoping that you can help her change her mindset or think that she should do something. But you are unable to persuade her, no matter what she says, it just doesn't make sense to you, making you feel extremely annoyed. However, your sister is now an adult. She actually has her own choices and reasons for making decisions about many things. Sometimes she may not communicate with you, so you don't know her thoughts. In the eyes of others, some ideas may seem stubborn and unreasonable, but for her, choosing this way makes her feel comfortable. Your sister is an adult now, and there may be many things that you have to let go and let her decide for herself. It may not be easy to change her, but only make yourself more upset. It is better to try to understand her, or let go of her, or live a more relaxed life.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 14764
       },
       {
        "question": "I often feel suddenly down, how can I control my unpredictable emotions?",
        "description": "Recently, these few months, I feel disinterested in anything and unable to work properly. I always have a sudden low mood and easily get angry. I often cry for no reason, have frequent headaches, and feel physically uncomfortable, exhausted, and tired.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, emotional regulation, panic helplessness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. Based on your description, it seems that you are currently physically and mentally exhausted. The prominent symptoms include feeling low and having no interest in anything. I truly sympathize with your situation. According to your description, you are experiencing sustained and significant mood decline, accompanied by headaches and lack of interest, which share many similarities with the clinical symptoms of depression. However, this is just speculation as I do not have a clear understanding of your specific situation. I suggest that you get checked to rule out the possibility of a mental illness. You mentioned that your condition has been ongoing for several months, so perhaps it should be taken seriously. In addition to paying attention to your physical health and getting regular check-ups, you should also prioritize your mental well-being. Do not ignore the signals your body is sending you, as the problem may become difficult to handle if it starts significantly affecting your daily life.",
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        "questionID": 1471
       },
       {
        "question": "My in-laws are very dominant. Why am I the one who is considered abnormal?",
        "description": "After giving birth to a child, I have been feeling very anxious. It's so severe that I can't sleep and I even experience hair loss. Recently, I have been studying psychology to improve my situation a bit. It's unbelievable that my husband, for 30 years, has never left his parents. This makes me feel hopeless. His parents have always favored his brother and they are very dominant. They are used to this kind of dominant behavior and irrational tantrums, while I am someone who doesn't fit into this picture.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, marriage management, pre and postnatal care, mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, son-in-law.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I'm glad to answer your inner distress. First of all, I sympathize with your grievances and feel very sorry for you! You mentioned that you are very anxious after giving birth to your baby, to the point where you can't sleep and experience hair loss. Furthermore, you live in a family environment where your husband has not differentiated from his original family and your in-laws are dominant and unreasonable. Generally, women are prone to hormonal imbalances and emotional disorders after childbirth, which can lead to postpartum depression. It's also possible that as a new mother, you may have anxiety about child-rearing due to lack of experience. Physically, this can result in sleep disorders and hair loss. A mother's negative emotions can also affect the baby's psychological development, which is very detrimental! If at this time, your husband can understand and accompany you, take good care of you and the child, perhaps the emotional and psychological state of this newborn's mother will improve. Regarding your husband's failure to differentiate from his original family, this can easily make him a person who is not psychologically independent and mature. Your husband does not distinguish between your small family and his original family in his cognition, making it difficult for him to assume responsibility for and support the small family. And your in-laws are very dominant and unreasonable, favoring the other son. All of this only adds to your already anxious state after childbirth. First of all, I want to tell you that life is really tough for everyone. It is truly distressing and sad for a woman to bear children and not receive the understanding and care she deserves from her husband and other family members, especially if they are unreasonable. The impact of these negative emotions can easily lead to physical illnesses and affect your well-being. If you continue to tolerate and be weak in the face of a husband who has not differentiated from his family and dominant in-laws, they will become more emboldened in their exploitation and suppression of you! My advice to you is to have your own stance and set boundaries. Communicate with your husband and make him understand that your small family and his original parents' family are two separate entities. As an adult, husband, and father, he should assume the responsibility of the family and take good care of his wife and child. This is his duty. Secondly, you should live separately from your in-laws and clearly define each other's boundaries. It is not too much to expect them to help you, but if they violate your rights, you should stand up for yourself. This is your right. Being weak will only allow them to take advantage. Establish your own boundaries, and they will respect you more! Of course, it is very difficult to change such a family situation! If possible, you and your husband can seek psychological counseling, which may better help you. Additionally, you are not at fault, so don't label yourself and accept that you don't fit in, as this will only make your in-laws more arrogant. In conclusion, life's difficulties are normal. To repair our own lives, we must take responsibility for ourselves! Follow your feelings and maintain your sovereign boundaries. Of course, life requires wisdom. I believe that after the storm, you will see the rainbow. Life is challenging, and I hope you don't face it alone. Discover your own resources and seek help from others. Life will eventually give you a clear answer. I hope my sincere words will help you get out of the darkness and embrace tomorrow's sunshine. Keep going!",
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hug! Being a mom after giving birth is very hard. It can have physical and psychological impacts. At this time, it is important to rest and take care of yourself, and avoid emotional fluctuations. From your description, I can sense that your current living atmosphere is tense. You have difficulty accepting your husband and his family's approach, and you feel like you don't fit in. Your husband not leaving his parents for 30 years has made you hopeless, and you are concerned about your parents favoring his brother. Can you provide more details about the specific situation? If possible, try writing it down and organizing these things. See where you are most concerned and if there is a way to solve it. What can be done to resolve it? The goal is to calm your mind and prevent excessive repression. In the process of organizing, new ideas may arise, and you may better understand your own needs. This is a therapeutic writing method, and I suggest you give it a try. Your current state is anxiety, which is causing severe insomnia and hair loss. It seems that your emotions are affecting your body and daily life. It may be helpful to see a doctor to determine if the insomnia and hair loss are caused by anxiety, and receive timely treatment. Additionally, take good care of yourself. At this time, you need more self-care and self-acceptance of your emotions, and find ways to organize them. Hope this helps.",
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         {
          "answer_text": "This mother, hello! After giving birth to a child, I have been very anxious, and when it gets severe, I even have insomnia and hair loss. It is indeed very difficult to conceive and raise a child. Being a new mother to a newborn is really not easy. I wonder what you are anxious about? Are you worried that the child will not be well taken care of, or is it something else? If you are worried that the child will not be well taken care of, I think you can seek help from your family. You can ask your husband to take on some household chores, and he can also help take care of the child. It is actually very beneficial for the child when the husband actively participates in caring for the child. Moreover, just giving birth, your physical strength is not sufficient and you should not overexert yourself. If you are anxious about this, I think you should take care of yourself first, take care of your body and emotions, so that you can better raise your baby, don't you think? If you are worried that you have insufficient knowledge in childcare and don't know how to take care of the baby, then we can actually learn some childcare knowledge. There is no need to be anxious, a mother's instinct will enable us to take good care of the child. Therefore, mothers must take good care of themselves, and only by doing so can they have the conditions and ability to take care of their children. As for your husband who has not left his parents for 30 years, you feel hopeless. His parents favor his older brother, and they are very dominant. They seem like a family, but you feel out of place. Your husband has not left his parents for 30 years, and you feel hopeless. Are you frustrated with your husband or with the fact that he has not left his parents for 30 years? Is it because you feel that your husband relies too much on his parents and you feel hopeless, am I right? From your words, it can be seen that you have opinions about your husband's family. You don't feel like you are part of them, which means you can't find a sense of belonging among them, right? I can understand such feelings of not being accepted and integrated. If you are greatly concerned about your husband's not leaving his parents for 30 years, you can have an open and frank conversation with your husband. You can discuss the idea of creating some distance with the parents physically. Separate your own small family from the larger family. Let both parties shift their focus to their new nuclear family. As for the in-laws, we can also try to improve the relationship with them and integrate ourselves into the family. We need to lower our own expectations. After all, the mother-in-law is not our own mother, nor can she be a daughter, so when we lower our expectations, our perspective on things will improve a lot, and our understanding will also be much better. As daughter-in-laws, we should of course respect the elderly and have a sense of boundaries. Do not excessively interfere with each other's lives and decisions, and do not impose our own will on each other. Harmonious coexistence requires mutual respect. Praise the virtues of the mother-in-law more. Take care of each other in daily life. Accept each other's imperfections and spend more time with the elderly. Although we cannot change others, a family is a system, and a couple is also a system. We can influence others by changing ourselves. As we develop ourselves in a positive direction, subtly, others will also undergo positive changes. Take good care of yourself first, mom, your baby needs you.",
          "has_label": false,
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         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! Give you a warm hug! As new mothers, we face the transition of roles and changes in our lifestyle and biological clock. Our carefree lifestyle has turned into revolving around our children, with tasks like feeding, soothing to sleep, changing diapers, and doing laundry becoming simple, repetitive, and mundane. It is normal to feel anxious, irritable, or unhappy. I wonder if you are also anxious about other aspects, which is why you can't sleep when it becomes severe. Hair loss is also caused by the physical exhaustion of giving birth and staying up late to feed the baby. Take care of yourself, rest well, and supplement your nutrition, and you will see significant improvements. The most important thing is to have a better mood. I have been studying psychology recently, so I am feeling a little better. I believe that you are a person who hopes for change and growth. Understanding psychology and learning about it will help you find a sense of belonging and comfort in your inner self. I hope you will be better. It's frustrating that your husband has never left his parents for 30 years. What is the point of despair? Is it because you feel he is too dependent and lacks independence, or is it because his parents have always favored his brother? Their strong personalities are different from yours, and you feel that you don't fit in. It's because they are originally a family, so they have lived together for so many years and naturally have many similarities. They are used to being dominant and unreasonable. We must admit that we cannot completely integrate into another family, but there is no need to worry or be sad because of this. Your goal in marriage is not to integrate into the other person's family, but to work hard to manage your own marriage and family well. If you get along harmoniously, then have more contact. If you feel it is difficult to integrate, then have less contact, which will benefit both individuals and the harmony of the entire family. I wish you well!",
          "has_label": false,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from listening to your description, I can sense your current distress. You mentioned that you have been experiencing insomnia and hair loss after giving birth, has anything specific happened during this period? What has been causing you so much anxiety? You mentioned feeling desperate because your husband has not left his mother in thirty years. Is it because he is overly dependent on his mother, or because you want him to escape from that home with you? From your description, it seems that you do not feel accepted by your husband's family, and this is causing you pain. In fact, you can try to communicate these feelings with your husband, because strictly speaking, the two of you have already formed a new family, and the closest people should be each other. Moreover, if you choose to continuously suppress yourself, it will be difficult for your anxiety to improve, and it will also create an unfavorable environment for your child. You can try to express your emotions, do not suppress them all the time, try to communicate your thoughts. Of course, it may be difficult to immediately change the situation, as there may be some obstacles in reality, but do not give up, follow your heart. You are not abnormal, under such circumstances, it is normal to feel stressed and anxious, because each person's tolerance has limits, and you have been trying hard, you know how to help yourself with knowledge of psychology, which is great. Everyone is a different individual, so personalities differ, even in the same environment, each person's adaptability is different. You may feel out of place because you are currently unable to adapt to this environment, but it may get better in the future. It could be the atmosphere in this family environment and the significant difference from your past experiences that are causing this feeling of discomfort, or it could be due to the current anxiety. I hope this can help you, keep going.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 8404
       },
       {
        "question": "Unable to establish intimate relationships, feeling overwhelmed and avoiding and rejecting beyond one's limits?",
        "description": "From childhood to adulthood, regardless of whether they are same sex or opposite sex friends, once they feel that their relationship exceeds their so-called boundaries, they will avoid and reject it. Sometimes there is a sense of inexplicable loneliness for no reason, tired of everything around them, and wanting to escape. They do not know how to interact with the opposite sex, and have been single until now.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Many people who have experienced childhood trauma related to their parents are afraid of getting close to others. For example, those who have had controlling and dominant parents. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. The belief that one must spend their whole life with another person is not necessarily true in this day and age. If you have always been content with being alone, it simply means that this state doesn't make you particularly uncomfortable. If there comes a day when this state becomes unbearable for you, you will naturally find a way out of it. And you will no longer believe that you are incapable of getting close to others. For example, if one day you meet someone who truly captivates you, it would be difficult for you to stay away from them. The current situation only means that this person has not yet stirred your heart enough. Of course, there are also benefits to being alone, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if you truly desire a life with someone else, there are a few preparations you can make: 1. Seek professional psychological counseling to re-experience relationships. Through the guidance of a therapist, learn how to be completely open with the other person, understand that vulnerability does not necessarily lead to violation, gradually desensitize the fear within you, and then you will start getting used to letting others see all aspects of you. 2. There is also a need to practice setting boundaries, but this can be addressed later. The fear of letting people get close to you is actually due to difficulty in maintaining boundaries and protecting yourself, which is why you choose to keep your distance from the start. If you have the ability to set boundaries, you will not be afraid of others getting close to you. This can also be learned through guidance from a therapist.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! First of all, thank you very much for your trust and specifically mentioning me to answer your confusion and distress. Although your description is very brief, I can feel that you are deeply suffering and tormented. You are very upset and sad. I don't know your gender. Being unable to experience intimacy is actually very painful. As you said, when you feel beyond your limits, you panic, escape, and avoid, feeling afraid and at a loss. In fact, deep down, everyone desires warmth and love the most, but the more you long for it, the more afraid you become. Because you can't bear and handle it yourself. In your case, it generally manifests as separation trauma. The younger you were when you experienced separation from your parents, the more severe it is. Have you had relevant experiences? Because of separation trauma, not only do you deeply feel abandoned, but you also feel that this world and people are not safe or warm. You cannot be trusted and dare not get close. Your heart and body are frozen. Moreover, due to lack of warm embraces and intimacy from parents, you crave warmth and intimacy intensely, but you can't bear it because it is too unfamiliar. You are also afraid of being separated again. If you have not learned or experienced intimacy, only fear remains. Or perhaps you did not experience separation trauma, but your parents rarely hugged you, so you have not experienced the feeling of warmth and secure intimacy. Or your parents themselves are not intimate, they may even argue frequently. You may feel fear towards intimate relationships as well. If you have experienced severe separation trauma, you need trauma recovery and professional psychological counseling to help you. You cannot overcome it on your own. If it is another type of trauma, you still need trauma healing and psychological counseling. This will help you unlock the restrictive beliefs about intimate relationships and experience new things with counseling support. Then you can overcome it. As long as you are willing to seek psychological counseling and trauma healing to help yourself, you will definitely be able to overcome it. But it takes time. Believe in yourself and create a path to happiness for yourself. I wish you the best in overcoming these obstacles and experiencing freedom and nourishment in intimacy.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "1. Seek professional psychological counseling to re-experience relationships. Through the guidance of a counselor, learn how to be completely open to others, realizing that being vulnerable does not have to feel invasive. gradually desensitize the fear within and then you will begin to adapt to letting others see every aspect of you. 2. There is also a need to practice setting boundaries, but this can be addressed later. The reason for not allowing others to get close to you is actually because it is difficult for you to establish boundaries and protect yourself, so you choose to keep a distance from the beginning. If you have the ability to set boundaries, you will not be afraid of others getting close, and this can also be learned through the guidance of a counselor.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! If you have such feelings, you must be someone who is particularly inclined to reflect on yourself and willing to try to change. Many people have similar doubts at different stages and in different situations, so please relax. We just have a slightly higher level of interpersonal sensitivity than others. Interpersonal sensitivity originates from the establishment of our parent-child relationship in infancy. It may be due to various reasons such as early separation from parents or a lack of high-quality companionship. Facing different degrees of interpersonal difficulties with both same-sex and opposite-sex individuals is related to our level of acceptance of and recognition from our father and mother. At the same time, we also need to accept and recognize the individual factors of each person. People with different personalities have varying degrees of dependence and trust in interpersonal relationships. For us who are part of the social network, the best state is still to adjust our mentality, integrate better, and feel the beneficial help of interpersonal communication through the establishment of relationships. For example, we can cultivate more common hobbies and increase opportunities for interaction, promoting our own growth within relationships. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The previous emotional experience mentioned by the original poster and the interpersonal communication status in daily life have certain influences on the current emotional state of the original poster. Therefore, the worries about love and the lack of trust in friends of the opposite sex are reasonable and, as the original poster mentioned, may be a form of escape. The quality of relationships does not have a clear boundary, so if you really cannot agree, you must inform the other party in advance. Otherwise, it can be burdensome for the other person to discover this during the interaction. In addition, suspicion of the other person and doubt about relationships often stem from a lack of security. It is important to be able to fully trust the other person's sincerity and one's own ability to choose a partner, rather than holding a skeptical attitude towards relationships. The following recommendations are made: communication and dialogue are worthwhile methods to try. The original poster may be open about their feelings and doubts to the person they want to pursue a relationship with. Of course, if they do not want to engage in a heated debate or give up the relationship afterwards, it is also best for the original poster to apologize and explain that these doubts are self-generated. The original poster does not intend to doubt the other person, and they will show understanding. It is also advisable to strengthen communication in the future when doubts arise, which may make the original poster feel more at ease in this relationship.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to help you. Feeling avoidant and rejecting when interacting with others indicates an avoidant attachment style. Throughout the course of human development, certain habits in adults are formed during childhood. People with an avoidant attachment style develop it due to an insecure relationship with their mother during infancy. During the ages of 0 to 3, factors such as weaning or survival crises may have influenced this, or the mother not being present. The influence of the mother during these years is significant as she affects your sense of security and even your adult life. Once this dependency is formed in childhood, it is difficult to change it in adulthood. Just like you, I also struggle to form intimate connections with others, but I am trying and attempting to socialize. You should also try to change, as avoiding change will only perpetuate the problem. Feelings of loneliness are indeed inexplicable because humans are born to be lonely. Learning to coexist with loneliness is a part of life. As long as our souls are not barren, loneliness is not scary. We should learn to enjoy solitude, as it is an internal experience that we cannot eliminate. Therefore, when we feel lonely, we can try to think about things or do things we enjoy to enrich ourselves. Many people grow up in loneliness, don't they? So we should learn to adapt and make use of it. Escaping cannot solve the problem and is just delaying the inevitable. Facing it bravely is how we grow. So be brave, your courage will always push you beyond your limits and actualize yourself, which is ultimately our goal. Keep going, we face it together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I also have similar feelings. Based on my years of experience as a doctor and self-analysis, this condition may be related to self-resistance. It means not accepting oneself, feeling inferior, thinking that one is not good, being afraid that others will cross boundaries and discover the perceived shortcomings within one's inner circle, and exposing various aspects that one believes are not good. Therefore, there is a rejection of intimate relationships! For issues like this, the first step is to look inward, accept oneself, care for oneself, and appreciate oneself! Only when one feels good about oneself and appreciates oneself can a healthy intimate relationship be established! I am also striving for this; this is only for reference.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20058
       },
       {
        "question": "What should I do if I'm a junior in college and my parents never approve of me, leaving me with very little self-confidence?",
        "description": "I am a junior female student. It seems that my parents haven't approved of me since high school. My grades in high school were fine, and teachers and classmates all thought I would easily pass the college entrance exam, but my parents never believed in me and always thought I was only capable of getting into a second-tier university. Even when I actually did pass the exam and received my admission letter, they were still worried that there might be a mistake in the scores. Today, a relative's child got their exam results and did really well. My mom said that on the day when I got my results, others would also think highly of me. I went along with it and said that I was just average, but my mom said, \"You are indeed average, just a mediocre student.\" I always feel very uneasy about this. After all, I exceeded the minimum score for the top tier university by quite a bit and got into a prestigious one, surpassing many others. But in their eyes, I am still just average. Lately, I have been preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam and studying for long hours every day. When they found out about it, the first thing they said was, \"Try your best and have no regrets.\" Even though I haven't started yet, they already believe I won't be able to pass. I envy those whose parents praise their children for being good-looking. From childhood to adulthood, my parents have never complimented me. Even if a classmate or their colleague says I'm good-looking, my mom would say, \"They said you're good-looking, is that true? You're just average. This is how we look, where could you possibly be good-looking?\"",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication, and the process of growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Many Chinese parents believe that they can instil humility, diligence, and progress in their children by belittling them, which is a strange misconception. Sometimes they belittle their children just to prevent them from being too ambitious and unrealistic, but they fail to understand the psychological impact that this \"belittling\" can have on their children - not only does it not necessarily achieve the intended purpose, but it can also lead to other consequences such as low self-esteem and loss of self. In light of this, we must first understand that parents are just ordinary people, not some all-powerful figures, and their views, just like those of everyone else, have their limitations. We do not need to view their opinions as sacred authority. This is a matter of awareness. In the subconscious, it is important to cultivate a healthy self-esteem and replace the need for validation from parents with a sense of self-worth. This involves some personal psychological growth work. Finding something that you truly enjoy and deriving your own value from it, rather than seeking validation from your parents, is crucial. Seeking psychological counseling can also help you rediscover your core values and establish a connection between your inner confidence and worth. As you grow older, your parents' views will no longer have excessive influence, and you will be able to fully listen to your inner voice and make choices and decisions. Stop trying to prove yourself to your parents through your actions. That only leads to losing yourself. Moreover, no matter how much you do to prove yourself to your parents, the underlying subconscious suggestion is actually reinforcing the idea that \"I need to prove myself because I am not good enough.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15765
       },
       {
        "question": "Always suspecting that others intentionally provoke oneself, feeling very angry and anxious, what should I do?",
        "description": "One older sister in the office always talks non-stop. She came from the factory to support us and is about to retire soon. She always talks about trivial matters. One time, I don't know how, but I told her that her talking makes my head buzz. Afterwards, I deeply regretted why I told her that. Whenever she speaks, I get angry and afraid that she deliberately speaks to provoke me. The more I think that she intentionally provokes me, the angrier and more anxious I become.",
        "keywords": "Profession, workplace relationships",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner! From your description, it seems that you are feeling angry and upset about your colleague's behavior and are seeking help through this platform, correct? The teacher understands your situation. Let's first take a look at this older sister. She is approaching retirement age and entering menopause, which can lead to feelings of frustration and being displeased with people and things around her. This behavior is not aimed at anyone in particular, but rather a reflection of her own internal conflicts. She may not realize that this behavior is inappropriate, nor is it intentionally directed at every individual. Perhaps she is accustomed to being naggy and expressing her grievances as a way to relieve her own conflicts. As a colleague, you only need to maintain a professional relationship. Managing your own emotions and doing your own work is the best way to respond to yourself. \"Know thyself, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories!\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Nice to meet you. 1. People have five poisons and should not magnify them (greed, anger, ignorance, arrogance, doubt). 2. Why is jealousy always related to the word for \"woman\"? The ancients were very wise in teaching us lessons. 3. \"Doubt\" means to doubt or speculate, etc. The reason for this is that we have accepted someone else's voice, opinion, action, etc. But were you forced? Was someone threatening you with a knife? If not, everything originates from your own unsettled mind, always being influenced. 4. If you understand the greater wisdom here, you can be unaffected by worldly temptations. 5. What kind of person you are does not need confirmation from others. The reason we like to be affirmed is a desire to be satisfied, which is greed. Just sharing these thoughts, hoping it can help you. Keep up the good work.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21851
       },
       {
        "question": "What kind of counselor is a good counselor?",
        "description": "Want to know, what kind of therapist can be considered a good therapist? What aspects are included?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\u25a0What kind of counselor is considered a good counselor? A good counselor can possess many excellent qualities, while a bad counselor can also have many disharmonious aspects. It is important to pay attention to subjective evaluations by the counselor or the visitors, as well as evaluations from the industry and supervisory evaluations. Perhaps the most important aspect for a mental health counselor is to maintain a good and accepting counseling relationship with the visitor. The visitor is the counselor's client, so as the host, the counselor should have good customer service skills and make the visitor feel that their money is well spent. This kind of psychological service is worth trying again and persisting in the long term. A long-term relationship must follow many ethical and logical guidelines. There are things that the visitor must know, and there are things that the visitor can choose not to know. There may also be lies in the counseling relationship, as visitors lie. This is already a very common and well-researched fact. We lie every day, even in the counseling room. Counselors need to maintain neutrality and objectivity, meaning that the possibility of self-disclosure is relatively low. Self-disclosure contains many pieces of information that one does not want others to know, and visitors may also not want counselors to know. Maintaining a certain good impression is also a potential need in the visitor's mind. The lies in the counseling room not only mean mistrust, but also represent the resistance to revealing information. Some very difficult and fragile aspects also need to be dealt with. How the counselor handles lies to a large extent affects the trust in the later stages of the counseling relationship. The counseling relationship requires subjective trust and experiential effects. We need to know who is the subject of counseling. Are visitors coming to the counseling room just for chatting and venting? Don't visitors have friends or anyone to confide in? Are visitors seeking advice? A good counselor can continuously and actively guide visitors to think and gradually become independent. As a psychological experience itself, the effectiveness of the counseling relationship may depend not only on the counselor's ability, professional perspective, ethics, and personal charm, but also on whether it can attract trust and make visitors feel dignified, valuable, and willing to love life during the counseling experience. Slowly, it can help them address counseling goals and improve their personality traits. In addition to having stable cases, counselors also need self-improvement and supervision. They can maintain empathy and self-awareness at any time, and know where their current professional position lies. They can contemplate and address the problems encountered in counseling or career positioning, identify the challenges and bottlenecks they face in their career, and strive to overcome difficulties. The above is for reference only. ZQ.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13169
       },
       {
        "question": "Avoiding something, for the past six months, I have been having nightmares whenever I think about it. Feeling lost and confused when it comes to facing things head-on.",
        "description": "I have been doing online business for almost half a year. (I am already an adult, with clear thinking.) I have met many positive people and have been to many places. Through weight loss products, I started to learn about the brand and developed understanding and trust. I have been to training sessions and have always trusted that this might be my lifelong career. It has made me feel passionate and I have become more outgoing. I have learned a lot of knowledge and skills. I think this might be a career that I can persist in, and I have achieved good results. However, my sleep schedule is irregular. Before this period of outgoing growth, I was more introverted and didn't like to show myself. Sometimes, when I don't respond or send messages for a long time, many people try to reach out to me. I get nervous and can't bring myself to look at the messages. The longer it goes on, the more afraid I become, because it has caused me to miss out on many things. It has been a while since this happened, but I remember that my online partners have always been very good to me and taking care of me. There is one senior sister who is the best to me. That time, I asked all my customers to add her because I was busy with exams and was afraid that the customers couldn't find me. Afterwards, I felt reassured, as if I had a premonition that I would do this. One day, I decided to take half a day off, and until now, it has been almost six months. For some reason, I stopped talking online and I'm afraid of being asked why by others. I'm also afraid of interacting with my previous circle of friends. I have had dreams related to this more than ten times, and I feel very confused.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I understand how you feel. You are doing a microbusiness, \"it makes me feel passionate, I become more outgoing, I learn a lot of knowledge and skills, and I feel that this could be a career that I can persist in, and I have achieved good results.\" From what you have expressed, you love and affirm this profession, and you feel that it has been very helpful to you. You stopped replying to messages and even avoided looking at them, and in order to avoid communication, you even referred customers to others. As a microbusiness owner, this conflicts with your profession. What are the reasons behind these conflicts, is it just because you have always been introverted, or have you encountered certain people and events? You are now not speaking on the internet, afraid of interacting with your previous social circle. It seems that you are avoiding some past events and people. On one hand, your introverted personality is related to your upbringing. Whether someone is introverted or extroverted is not a matter of good or bad, as long as you feel it is suitable and adapt to the needs of work and life, there is nothing wrong with it. On the other hand, from the perspective of psychoanalysis, Freud divided people into ego, id, and superego. 1. The id is located at the lowest level of the personality structure, composed of innate instincts and desires, and includes various physiological needs. The id is unconscious and irrational, following the pleasure principle. 2. The ego is located in the middle layer of the personality structure, differentiated from the id, and its function is to regulate the conflicts between the id and the superego, following the reality principle. 3. The superego is located at the highest level of the personality structure. It is the moralizing self. Its function is to suppress the impulses of the id, monitor the ego, and pursue a state of perfection, following the moral principle. Freud also divided psychological processes into preconscious, conscious, and subconscious. The subconscious includes a person's primal impulses and various instincts, as well as the desires generated by these instincts, which are not understood and suppressed by customs and moral values below the threshold of consciousness. Although the subconscious mind is not perceived by people, it governs a person's entire life. You mentioned that you have \"dreamed about related dreams\" multiple times. What are the contents of your dreams? From the perspective of psychoanalysis, dreams may reflect one's inner desires. I suggest you sort out your psychological processes and the contents of your dreams to understand what you truly want, what the current problem is, and what kind of life you envision. This may help reduce some confusion.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I can tell that you were very passionate about the microbusiness before, and it brought about many positive changes for you. You gained friends and trust, making your life more colorful. However, at the same time, you also experienced some other changes, such as irregular sleep patterns, worrying about missing phone messages, and constantly thinking about online matters. Suddenly, you stopped talking online and didn't want to touch on your past experiences and life, you just wanted to rest, but also felt lost, thinking that you were avoiding something. My guess is that you may be experiencing occupational burnout. The intense dedication you put in the past has caused the tight string to break, and it will take some time to repair. According to normal work schedules, working 8 hours a day is enough, and the remaining time should belong to life. However, microbusiness does not have fixed working hours. You need to constantly pay attention to phone messages, there is no specific time to go offline and rest. In this situation, it's easy to exhaust one's enthusiasm. You can completely relax yourself, do something else, and refresh your rejection towards microbusiness work. When you feel like doing it again, you can come back. Protect your enthusiasm for something and stop when you are 60-80% satisfied. We need to sleep every night, and we have two days off each week. These are all determined by the physiological and psychological laws of human beings. Respect your inner feelings, accept your decision to want to take a break. If you're tired, take a break. The future still belongs to you, and you can come back whenever you want. Best wishes, Jiangjiang.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The transformation from introversion to extroversion, does this process make you feel uncomfortable or painful? Irregular daily routines can easily lead to lack of energy and physical exhaustion. Facing meaningless social interactions can easily lead to occupational burnout. Firstly, one reason is that your original personality did not enjoy socializing, but after participating in network marketing, you felt that you had changed a lot. At first, you thought this change was good, but after a long time, you realized that this change made you feel miserable because it conflicted with your inner personality. You feel mentally and physically exhausted when dealing with things related to network marketing and even social interactions. You just want to escape and avoid facing them, and just want to live more comfortably. Another reason is a lack of career responsibility. You mentioned earlier that you initially intended to develop a career but eventually gave it up. Is it because you feel it is no longer suitable to continue developing in this career, or is it because you feel pain when facing it? In fact, it mainly depends on how we perceive the situation itself, and how we self-observe and self-regulate, in order to ultimately adapt to society. I hope my perspective can be helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18079
       },
       {
        "question": "I am a person who follows the rules, but I also feel anxious about my own stagnation.",
        "description": "I make a weekly schedule list for myself, specifying what to do at each time of the day, and I mark it with a check mark (\u221a) after completing each task. If by the end of the week, I see that the entire list is filled with check marks, I feel accomplished. But if I can't complete everything, I feel frustrated. I am willing to spend every day following my plan, but at the same time, I look down on myself for not having any surprises or adventures! I also have my son live and study within this framework. If I miss a day without a plan, I feel anxious and like I am wasting my life.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality traits, self-development, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Feeling out of control can make people anxious, while too much stability can also cause anxiety. Going with the flow can make people anxious, as can achieving success and fame. There is no life that will always satisfy us; there are only wise individuals who are content with their current lives. From your description, it seems that you have formed a fixed routine and want your child to follow your way of life. Although there may be a sense of fulfillment in accomplishing tasks, there is also a sense of numbness without novelty or surprises. This has left you feeling conflicted and confused. I'm truly impressed by how you plan your daily activities. You may find it boring, but for some people, it is a challenging exercise in discipline and effective time management. Living a planned life gives a sense of security, making people feel at ease without having to \"think\" or face new risks and challenges, which is its advantage. However, like any other way of living, it also has its drawbacks, such as monotony, lack of creativity, rigidity, and a lack of passion for life. It's important to recognize that there are life experiences that cannot be completed, just like some of the tasks in your weekly routine. Try leaving some \"empty\" time within your week without pre-planned activities, and use your imagination and embrace action to try new things. Give your well-structured life a little chaos. As long as life is lived earnestly, it shouldn't be wasted. Allow your child the autonomy to make choices and avoid imposing your own will upon them. They need to create their own lives. It seems that you have high expectations for yourself, hoping that everything remains within your control. However, future society and events will not always go according to plan. Teach your child the ability to handle unexpected changes instead of planning every day of their life in advance. It seems like you have anxiety about time, believing that it should always be meaningful. But many experiences in life are meaningless, such as daydreaming, feeling bored, watching the sunset, or listening to beautiful music. Leave some time in your life to do meaningless things because if we spend our whole lives doing only meaningful and valuable things, it would be very sad and dull. Don't be afraid to \"go off track\" and try a more spontaneous way of life. You may have a different experience because you are already doing well in your current planned life. Give yourself the opportunity to break free from it. Wishing you the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I totally agree with the answer from the above commenter, and I think the original poster can give themselves some freedom and relaxation. At the same time, I also believe that keeping a high level of planning and execution is not contradictory to having surprises and adventures, because the content of \"plans\" can be changed. Besides daily tasks, you can plan a murder mystery game for the weekend, a family vacation during a short break, or even a professional qualification exam half a year later... As long as the content is not monotonously repetitive, it will constantly bring new ideas. Moreover, many times, the unexpected surprises that are not prepared in advance and taken step by step can turn out to be distressing \"shocks\". The original poster also mentioned their son, and I think it is very correct and worthwhile to cultivate planning awareness and execution ability in children from a young age. By having these two abilities, at least when others are constantly procrastinating and being complacent, your child will be able to finish everything they need to do early and have time and energy to think about how to make their own life more colorful.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19711
       },
       {
        "question": "I am afraid of being touched by others, and in severe cases, I will tremble all over and feel the urge to scream.",
        "description": "Because I have experienced sexual harassment, which was quite terrifying at the time, I told my mother, but she didn't tell me what to do. Until now, whenever someone touches me, I feel disgusted and panicked, like a momentary breakdown.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, trauma therapy, behavioral abnormality.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~~~ First, give OP a hug. From the description, it can be understood that OP has encountered sexual harassment in the past. Although it has passed, OP is still afraid of others' touch and wants to change this situation but doesn't know where to start. [A few suggestions] 1. OP can try desensitization. With the cooperation of the closest friends, start by sitting closer together and gradually get used to it. Then, try to let friends touch OP's arm... Take it step by step, it may feel uncomfortable at first, but through a period of adaptation, the discomfort will decrease and progress can be made. Until eventually, OP can go shopping hand in hand with friends. 2. However, if this problem seriously affects OP's study and life, it is recommended to seek professional counseling in a psychological consultation room. There are mature methods to deal with this situation, which can provide more thorough and effective help to OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18583
       },
       {
        "question": "Is the fee system included in the counselor's confidentiality agreement reasonable?",
        "description": "Recently, I have been receiving psychological counseling at a local consulting room. Last week, I signed a confidentiality agreement. However, there is a clause stating that if I cancel my appointment at short notice, I will be charged a corresponding fee. I'm wondering if this clause is reasonable.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Makes sense, but not perfect. This regulation mainly protects the interests of the counselor, and the core idea is: canceling a consultation would cause financial loss to the counselor, so the responsibility should be borne by the party who proposed the cancellation. In physical transactions, even if a product is returned, it can still be resold. However, counselors are selling \"time,\" so objectively speaking, canceling an appointment can indeed cause financial loss to the counselor. If the cancellation is caused unilaterally by the visitor, it is reasonable for the visitor to bear the responsibility. The reason why it is not perfect is because this regulation does not consider the time cost of the visitor. In other words, if the consultation is canceled due to the visitor's reasons, and the visitor bears the counselor's loss as well as their own, then correspondingly, if the consultation is canceled due to the counselor's reasons, the counselor should also bear the potential loss of the visitor, but this aspect is missing in the regulation. Additionally, there is a problem of \"difficult burden of proof.\" The counselor's time has a \"clear price,\" while it is difficult to \"value\" the visitor's time. The economic loss caused by canceling an appointment with an ordinary person is obviously different from canceling an appointment with Jack Ma. This requires the industry to introduce specific standards to treat everyone equally. But in reality, it usually doesn't escalate to \"this extent,\" and there is still a lot of room for negotiation and resolution between both parties. Generally speaking, the counselor would express understanding to the visitor and not make them bear this cost, but rather reschedule the appointment. Wish you a happy life!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, regarding the fee standard, the rights and responsibilities of both parties, and other related content, they are usually clearly specified in the counseling agreement, which also includes the principle of confidentiality. As for the issue you mentioned, it depends on the specific circumstances of canceling the counseling session. If there is a mutual agreement to change the time, it will be executed as agreed. If it is caused by one party, that party will bear the responsibility. If it is due to the counselor, they will provide one free counseling session to make up for it. If it is due to the visitor, the regular counseling fee will be charged according to the agreement. It's worth noting that there should be a clear agreement on the deadline for changing the appointment time, and both parties should be informed and agree.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16772
       },
       {
        "question": "From childhood, I have been shy. In college, I am afraid to participate in group activities. What should I do?",
        "description": "I have been timid since childhood, but I am well aware that I cannot always be afraid to communicate with strangers, especially when I go to college and enter society. Later, I mustered up the courage to sign up for a project design activity, but I couldn't speak up in the design group. I felt like an invisible person, and every time I wanted to speak, I would feel awkward and unable to find the right words. I have not grown at all in terms of social interaction.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for your trust. 1. \"I have been timid since childhood,\" indicating that you have been in a \"timid\" state for many years. The fact that this has continued for so many years shows that being \"timid\" has been helpful to you. 2. \"But I am very aware that I cannot always be afraid to communicate with strangers.\" From childhood to adulthood, I believe you have had friends, classmates, teachers, etc. You must have experienced many occasions where you went from being strangers to being familiar with others. Regardless of the number or whether it was voluntary, you have definitely not been \"constantly\" afraid to communicate with strangers, so you are not as \"afraid\" as you think, you just haven't been as \"bold\" as you expected. 3. Since \"I have been timid since childhood\" and I am not always \"afraid,\" when you occasionally \"dare\" to do something, give yourself a pat on the back.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, topic starter! Hugs for you! After reading your description, \"being shy since childhood, fearing participation in group activities in college,\" and analyzing your detailed situation, I personally feel that your behavior is very similar to social anxiety disorder. Although this condition is not a mental illness, it can still make us feel troubled and distressed. Over time, it can exhaust us and make us withdraw, which has a very negative impact on our growth. Based on your description, although you have been shy since childhood, you still \"gathered up the courage to sign up for a project design activity,\" which is a great change in thinking for you and worth celebrating as progress. So, if you are not satisfied with your current situation, it would be like feeling ignored and frustrated in a team, putting too much pressure on yourself and eventually not seeing your progress. Finally, regarding the \"project design activity\" you participated in, the awards in design-related activities have a great impact on students majoring in design. However, if your major is not design, treat it as a hobby and don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you have the opportunity, join some clubs or organizations that require less interpersonal interaction, first allowing yourself to adapt and then challenging yourself in a gentle and gradual manner.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3810
       },
       {
        "question": "High school art student, cares about what others say, loses confidence in life and loses oneself.",
        "description": "High school students in key schools think that I am an art student and take shortcuts in class, so they look at me differently. The teachers also don't like me because my academic performance is not good, and they always give me a hard time. I feel nervous during class and can't understand the lessons. I feel like I am a failure. My family cares about transferring schools, but I am afraid of facing new environments and new classmates, and all the difficulties seem magnified. I dare not think about the future and have no confidence. I cry every day until I can't stop, and I have been having insomnia for over a month. I get angry with my family and spend my days in a haze of confused thoughts.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, panic helplessness, fragile and tearful.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, because I care about what others say, I've been feeling bad for over a month, and it hurts my heart. The high school courses are one level higher in difficulty compared to middle school. You said you can't understand because you're worried about not studying well and feeling too anxious. Try to do more relaxation exercises, meditation, and other practices to reduce your anxiety level. It will benefit your state. Being able to take the artistic route means you definitely have some artistic talent, but you stand out among the ordinary students. The learning environment you are in focuses on grades, not strengths. If there were a test for artistic talent, you would surely be one of the best. In other words, you are not completely without achievement. I suggest that you put more effort into your strengths, strive to get into an art school, and fully develop your advantages. I see that your family also cares about you. If you have any discomfort, please tell your family in time and ask for their help. In reality, there are indeed many teachers who don't like students with poor grades, especially in prestigious high schools. Have you discussed with your parents and talked to the teacher about their unreasonable demands? How do your parents see the situation? Is it possible that the teacher has higher expectations for you, and you feel it's difficult to meet them? Having trouble sleeping for over a month and being in a bad mood, I suggest you go to the psychiatric department of the hospital and undergo a specialized evaluation of your emotional state. Please also ask the doctor for advice on how to help you. I hope you can soon break free from this gloom, as the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, hello, hugs to you~ After reading your description of your studying and living situation, I feel that you have really encountered many difficulties. I really sympathize with you. When I read your description of crying non-stop every day, having insomnia for over a month, getting angry at your family, and obsessing all day, the first thing I noticed is that you have had insomnia for over a month. Insomnia is actually a state that greatly harms the body. Your emotions also have significant fluctuations. If you feel any discomfort, you must seek medical help in a timely manner. Based on your description of your family suggesting transferring schools, but also fearing new environments and new classmates, and magnifying all kinds of difficulties, it is apparent that you understand your own psyche very well. You are able to judge that you have magnified the difficulties, which suggests that you are only hesitating and have not completely rejected your family's suggestion to transfer schools. It's just that you may need a push to give you the courage to make a decision. The courage to make brave choices comes from sufficient support and understanding. Perhaps your family can provide you with this kind of support. I hope you can communicate more with your family, help them understand your anxiety and sadness, try to gain your family's support, and then consider whether to transfer schools. Because as you described, \"they're always making things difficult for me,\" actually most teachers have a strong sense of morality, but the teacher you encountered may not be suitable for educating students in various ways, which has led to you not being able to adapt to the environment. The reason is not because of your academic performance, but rather the people and things you happened to encounter were unsatisfactory.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4789
       },
       {
        "question": "Raised by a generation other than my parents, I constantly feel a lack of security and a constant fear of being judged by others.",
        "description": "I have been raised by my grandparents since I was little. I went to kindergarten with them, and I have always tried to be a well-behaved child in their eyes. Sometimes, I even worry that if I don't do things according to their expectations, I will be abandoned. I have developed a deep emotional bond with my grandparents since I was little. I feel like they are my parents, but they never care about what I like to eat or what my hobbies are. They just arrange my life according to what they think is right for me. I have been living with them for ten years, but they never try to understand my needs. I feel like I lack love and I have no sense of security. Whenever I express my needs, I feel anxious and automatically assume that they won't agree with me. As I grew older, I also felt uncomfortable at school. Going outside makes me feel uneasy and I'm afraid of being judged by others. Moreover, whenever I have my own thoughts or feelings, I instinctively wonder if what I am doing is right and if others will agree with my actions. I feel hopeless and don't know if there is any hope for me. All I want is to do things that I like and have the right to be myself, not being deprived of the power to express my own feelings. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, family trauma, family relationships, growing process.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You may need a stable, accepting, and understanding relationship. It can make you truly feel that I am not so bad after all, that I will not be judged and attacked, and that as long as I want to do something, the other person will support it... This new kind of relationship will make you feel that the world actually welcomes you. You can also accept yourself. One of the ways to obtain this kind of relationship is through counseling.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21856
       },
       {
        "question": "I am a boy, what should I do if I have feelings for boys? Is there something wrong with me?",
        "description": "I discovered that I am a male and I am interested in other males. I don't have much interest in females.",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Warm hugs to you (\u3065\u2032\u25bd`)\u3065 (1) First of all, OP has already realized that their orientation is towards boys. Is this really a problem? If it causes difficulties in OP's life and they want to get rid of this issue, then it is a problem. But if OP enjoys liking boys and doesn't feel any pain because of it, then it cannot be called a problem. (2) Secondly, whether you like boys or girls, as long as it is a sincere emotion, it deserves respect and blessings. Love is a free thing, regardless of gender. As long as OP doesn't reject their own orientation, it is good. (3) Lastly, perhaps if others become aware of this matter, OP might face some controversy. But I still hope that OP knows that it doesn't matter what others say, your own feelings and experiences are the most important. It's your world and you are in charge. #The world and I love you, wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Wu Feikong's analysis: \n1. Life is long, but humans always pass through it stage by stage. In each stage of life, we will encounter some wonderful people who make us feel admiration, including both boys and girls. When we are young, we may like many people. As we grow older, the number of people we like becomes fewer and fewer. When we are mature, we will gradually choose someone to love forever and hope to be with him (her) forever. This is the law of life.\n2. I don't know how old you are now. However, regardless of which stage you are in, you have the right to like someone, but love requires caution. Because love means loyalty and self-restraint. This has nothing to do with gender.\n3. It is normal to like or not like someone. However, at any time, one person cannot represent a whole group.\n4. Allowing oneself to be free and not being attached is a carefree attitude towards life. Being responsible for oneself and pleasing oneself and others is the right path in life.\n5. Wish you happiness!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15045
       },
       {
        "question": "Eighth grade girl, recently feeling a bit mentally unstable?",
        "description": "8th grade girl, 1. Even though I can't find much happiness on the internet, I still find myself addicted to it. 2. I didn't finish my homework and my mom criticized me for it. Although I know it's my own fault, why do I still feel aggrieved and sad? It's like I'm \"self-pitying\" myself. I feel like I've become \"overly emotional.\" 3. I always engage in \"self-criticism\" for no reason... It's like there's someone in my mind who constantly likes to criticize me. 4. Umm, this is quite... I just don't like it when my family reads my compositions... But if it's a teacher or a classmate reading them, I don't really mind.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, procrastination, avoidance, smartphone dependency.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Giving you a hug~ From your description, it is evident that you are a sensitive girl with rich inner thoughts and high self-expectations. Your first issue is not finding happiness on the internet and still becoming addicted to it. I wonder what you primarily do online? If the addiction is not due to finding happiness, could it be because of boredom or other reasons? It is apparent that you do not consider internet addiction to be a good thing. In that case, you can try finding hobbies in real life that bring you joy and gradually replace the time spent online. This will naturally help you break free from internet addiction. The second issue is feeling upset and self-conscious when criticized by your mother. Actually, feeling hurt when criticized is a normal reaction. Even if you believe that you should accept criticism when you make mistakes, it is inevitable to feel upset, right? In fact, it would be strange if you did not feel upset. So, there is no need to dwell on your emotions. Just let them flow naturally. It is healthy to cry when you need to and laugh when you want to. The third issue is having a tendency to self-criticize for no reason. Actually, self-criticism is a manifestation of having high self-expectations and a desire to improve oneself. Moderate self-criticism is beneficial for personal and mental growth. However, once you understand your own shortcomings, you can try to reduce self-criticism and instead, encourage and motivate yourself more. It will make you even better! The fourth issue is not liking to show essays to your family. Actually, as we grow up, we spend more time in school than at home, and gradually, classmates and teachers seem to understand us better than our parents. It is normal to be less willing to share academic matters with parents sometimes. However, you can share more about daily life with your family! I hope this is helpful to you~ *^_^* Believe that you will always be the excellent you! No more doubts.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13433
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling restless, unable to control the urge to order takeout, and feeling self-blame after eating?",
        "description": "Since September of last year, every time I open my computer to search for articles and write my thesis, I start browsing food delivery apps on my phone. I end up spending a long time scrolling through them and almost every day I end up ordering takeout. After eating, I feel guilty and I can't seem to control myself from ordering takeout or spending money. Now it seems like I can't function without ordering food or spending money. I can't control myself and I have to eat, but when I do, I become even more irritated and angry, and I still can't write my thesis. Every day is so painful, and life feels meaningless and joyless. I have no interest in this damn thesis at all, I hate it! It's this thesis that's ruining me! Even other work-related matters are going wrong all the time, and I have a short temper. I really want to argue with my advisor, I hate that damn woman. Clearly, she was the one at fault first, but she tried to cover it up and blamed me instead. What a bastard! I am suffering every day now, what a damn waste of time studying! Selling socks on the street is better than this! Stupid thesis! Whoever loves writing it should go ahead and write it! Now I just can't control myself, I order takeout and eat eat eat every day. I really hate myself for eating like this, but I can't control it! What should I do? Just chop off my hands.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner, I understand your frustration and anxiety. Here, I would like to share some of my thoughts to see if they can help you. First, let's clarify the root cause of your irritability. Is it about ordering food, feeling guilty about spending money, struggling with writing a paper, or having emotional resistance towards your teacher? You have mentioned multiple reasons, so prioritize them based on their importance and tackle them one by one. When you figure out how to address these psychological burdens, you will feel much lighter. Secondly, I sense that your emotions are strongly related to the paper and your teacher. Is there a conflict or an unfriendly relationship with your teacher? Or is it that your teacher assigned the paper and you're frustrated with that? Clarify what you really want. Writing a paper can be difficult and demanding, but it is an essential academic task that must be completed on time. So, accept it calmly and work on it according to the deadlines. Emotions will only cloud your thoughts and hinder your ability to complete the paper. Lastly, I believe that there are many templates available for papers and teachers are usually willing to give guidance. Maintain a positive attitude, concentrate, and write with peace of mind. You will definitely be able to complete it, believe in yourself. As for ordering food, it may have started as a convenience, but gradually became a habit and made you lazy to cook or go out to eat. I suggest that if you have the opportunity on weekends, try cooking some homemade dishes yourself. When you are busy with studying or work, take a break and go out for some fresh air, and enjoy a delicious meal. If you spend too much time in your room and order food all the time, it is natural to feel restless. So, if you are capable, try to cook your own food. If you can't, go out to eat. To maintain a good mood, you must be active and activate those stagnant cells. Keep going, I believe you can do it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for your answers. I was in a hurry and didn't go into details. The woman I dislike is not my supervisor, just someone I encountered at work who has hindered my progress. My own supervisor is very good to me and doesn't pressure me about the paper. It's just that I've been writing for over half a year and haven't even finished a review, which makes me extremely upset and feel stupid. It's a kind of self-denial and self-loathing. The fundamental issue is my paper, which I find incredibly painful to write. Ordering takeout is a way for me to escape and release my anxiety and resentment. The paper is not just about the graduation requirement, but it makes me feel that my career is bleak and without prospects. In my industry, if I want to become a top professional, I have to keep writing this damn thing. It's really painful. The current pain is all because of the shitty decisions I made when applying.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I and you are the same kind of people, and there are also people who I find very unpleasant. There are also some things that I have to do, and I understand this emotion as \"making mistakes with responsibility.\" Ordering takeout is an expensive behavior, but I still want to do it because I am irritable. Besides eating, we can't find any other way to vent. But after eating, I calm down and feel that I have done wrong. Why? Because I spent money. Money doesn't come easy, so where does this guilt come from? As for writing papers, it's not a big deal. It's not like I'm writing for a teacher, and I don't owe her anything. It's just to give myself an account.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14489
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like all my friends have started to hate me. Should I leave?",
        "description": "I used to be in a romantic relationship with a friend, but only the two of us knew. Later, we broke up for certain reasons, and they quickly found someone new, while I have not. Afterwards, I became just a regular friend to them, and things were going well. But then things started to feel off. They began to dislike me more and more, and their partner also started to dislike me as well. They would double standards, maliciously speculate about me, and nitpick on every little thing. These accumulated incidents kept increasing in frequency. I've thought about leaving them a few times, but they always pull me back, claiming it was just a joke. Should I completely cut ties with them and leave?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, communication, friends, deceit and trust.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Sometimes, a person's intuition is very accurate, especially when it comes to someone they care about. Your feelings are probably correct if you think they dislike you. People's emotions are complex and ever-changing. The reason why they dislike you is not that important because it's hard to figure out and not worth it. Secondly, if they try to bring you back, is it out of genuine feelings for you? I don't think so. Managing a friend who is optional is easier than maintaining a completely disconnected friend. They don't want to be the bad person; they are trying to salvage the situation so that in their hearts, they don't feel responsible for the breakdown in your relationship. What is a friend? It's a relationship based on mutual tolerance, understanding, and making each other's lives happier. If this relationship only brings criticism and adds to your sadness, then the meaning of being friends is lost. Are they still friends? So, don't worry about what they think of you. Just quietly walk away. When they turn around, they will realize that you have already gone far because it's not worth giving them a grand ending.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP: It sounds like you are currently conflicted, feeling that your friends are starting to dislike you and you are hesitating to leave. I'm not clear on how you and your former romantic friend broke up. What was the foundation of their relationship like? Have you considered that by becoming just a regular friend, you might be affecting the further development of their relationship? Additionally, I'm not sure how you feel in this relationship among the three of you. How does their excessive intimacy make you feel? I'm speculating blindly here, but is there perhaps some envy in your heart? Suppressing this envy may be causing your attitude and tone to create an awkward atmosphere between you all. So, is their dislike towards you because they feel that you are constantly sabotaging the further development of their intimate relationship?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It sounds like you want to improve your life and leaving is a good choice. You can think about what this relationship has brought you. After breaking up, he got a girlfriend and still remains friends with you. How do you feel at this point? Are you relaxed, happy, accepting, or anxious, uneasy, and even a little jealous at times? So, what makes you hesitate when you're unhappy? Do you not have other friends? Are you afraid of losing? Take it easy. Having had a romantic relationship shows that you have the ability to attract others. Even if you leave this group of friends, you will still have other friends, won't you? Being comfortable in a relationship is important. Caring for each other, needing each other, not necessarily always being together, but thinking about each other feels good, not seeing each other is fine, and seeing each other is also good. Sometimes, when we interact with others, we find that our mental energy keeps decreasing, and our state of mind gets worse. At least it means that this interaction may not be suitable. It doesn't necessarily mean who is right or wrong, but you can decisively leave or gradually distance yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Don't think that people dislike you, because they are all very busy. Adjust your attitude and love them no matter what! You are not Chinese currency, not everyone will like you. Disliking you is just a phase in life, once this phase is over, everything will be fine. In three years of middle school, you will meet different people, high school will also be lively, and university will be a whole new world. Each stage lasts only three to four years, once you get through it, everything will be a fresh start. Why be so obsessed with the present? Your worth will be recognized by someone, and there will always be people willing to be friends with you. In the future, everyone will truly grow up. You may be kind to others, but they may not necessarily be kind to you. However, they will never turn around and hurt you. So, your good intentions will always be seen by someone. May you wait patiently and face things calmly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17057
       },
       {
        "question": "It's still the same, feeling like my hands and feet are on my boyfriend's body.",
        "description": "In the past, it was considered normal for me to depend on my boyfriend. Then, in the six months since the lifting of the pandemic lockdown, being alone at home for a long time, negative emotions have been increasing day by day. I started talking to my boyfriend about all my negative thoughts every day. Later, we met, and it started from that meeting. We almost meet every weekend, either him finding me or me finding him. During this time of meeting, my negative emotions have not improved. I just particularly enjoy the feeling of being comforted by him and the feeling of having him by my side. As we meet more times, my dependence on him becomes greater. When it's time for me to go home, I start to be extremely afraid of going back. So I desperately ask him if I can go back a bit later. I always feel like I can stay a little longer, so I can see him by my side for a bit longer. And if he can't come this weekend due to work reasons, I must make him come. Otherwise, I feel extremely uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that I want to die. He has tolerated my tantrums countless times. In the midst of my tantrums, he has mentioned breaking up twice. I thought there was nothing scarier than a breakup. I have promised him at the moment of breaking up and making up, and I have told myself that I won't be stubborn anymore. But I didn't expect that after we make up, I'm still the same.",
        "keywords": "Love, dependence, attachment, relationship management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Author, hello, I understand your inner distress and I hope my response can help you. I want to say the following to you: 1. You love your boyfriend very much, and he loves you too. In this vast world, it's not easy to find someone you love and who loves you back. So please cherish it. However, cherishing does not mean being together all the time. If you're together all the time, it could have a negative effect. Distance can be beautiful. 2. Your dependence on your boyfriend can actually be transferred to other aspects. I suggest seeking support from people other than your boyfriend, such as good female friends, other family members, or any other suitable person. When your boyfriend can't be with you, you can find someone else to accompany you. You will discover that besides your boyfriend, there are many other people who care about you. They also care about you and you can feel the warmth of being supported and understood. If they can't be with you physically, calling them is also a great way. 3. Engage in activities that you enjoy and don't focus all your attention on your boyfriend. Set yourself a suitable goal and work hard to achieve it. In the process of achieving your goal, you will focus your attention on what you need to do and won't be so concerned about your boyfriend's company. I remember when I was a junior in college, my boyfriend had already graduated and it would take him six months to come back and see me. It was difficult at first and I would cry for a long time when we separated. Later, I focused my energy on preparing for postgraduate exams and we would talk on the phone three times a day. This helped me avoid the emotions of dependence and longing. 4. Find other ways to relieve negative emotions. You can try writing, listening to music, exercising, spending time in nature, meditating, or any other activity that helps you relax. Everyone is an independent individual, and while emotions need mutual dependence, they also need independence. I hope you can find the right balance, enjoy intimacy, and focus on being yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. It is evident that you love your boyfriend very much. So, you always want to be with him, wanting to stick to him all the time. Due to the pandemic, you haven't seen each other for a long time, and because of this, you want to be with him all the time. At first, your boyfriend may also feel comfortable, but in the long run, both of you may feel annoyed. Everyone has their own life, even though you are in a romantic relationship, but you not only have a love life but also have work and regular life. It is not easy to have someone who loves you and whom you also love, but we cannot lose our original selves because of him. From your words, I feel that you have lost yourself in this relationship. You don't know why you are doing this, but you just want to do it. As a result, your boyfriend is annoyed and even wants to break up with you. Sometimes, it is necessary for both men and women to think from each other's perspective and consider things more. In my personal opinion, the best way for two people to get along is to feel at ease even if they don't meet each other, and they know what the other person is doing. And then, in both of your free time, you can focus on your relationship. Isn't that a beautiful thing? While being in a relationship is important, we cannot make it our whole life. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5232
       },
       {
        "question": "High school freshman girl, has a strained relationship with her mother, how to ease it?",
        "description": "My mother has a strong prejudice against me. She always thinks of me the same way as my biological father. Selfish, disregarding the family, greedy. Once, in extreme circumstances, she yelled out and said, \"You are indeed just like your father.\" So in the past few years, I have been trying to regulate my behavior and actions, striving not to be associated with those few words. My biological father is a taboo topic. In this family, no one wants to mention him, but she always brings him up. In short, she always tears through that layer of paper first. I also have a younger brother, born to my stepfather, who is seven years younger than me. That boy is willful and spiteful towards me for some reason, always opposing me in every way. My mother also blindly favors him, never taking my side. Even though we share blood and family ties, they all seem distant and cold in the face of these constant hurtful words. But unfortunately, I have a strong emphasis on family values. I always believe that without family, it would feel like missing half the sky. I can't accept this change, so I try to please them in every way. Maybe that's what society calls a people pleaser. However, as my younger brother grew older, even with my mother's constant guidance, his academic performance remained poor. My stepfather always plans for him. The daughter who spends her days and nights with him might not be able to compare to the sweet nothings whispered by my stepfather. And so, I don't know when I became a person who is greedy for money and ungrateful. I'm so tired.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, treatment methods, psychological counseling, venting and listening.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. Hugs to you! After reading your description, it seems that you haven't received enough care from your family, and the influence of your mother has left you confused about the future. I truly sympathize with what you have been through. You mentioned that your mother has transferred some of her dislike for your biological father onto you, and in order to make her happy, you have been shaping your personality in a way that she can accept. However, this has had a negative impact on your own development. You mentioned that you feel conflicted inside, and it reminds me of a saying, \"In the end, we all become the person we used to dislike the most.\" Perhaps this is not your intention, but because your mother constantly brings up the image of your father, it has formed a psychological suggestion. The more you don't want something, the more it comes to you; the more you don't want to become a certain person, the more you tend to develop in the direction you least want. In psychology, this phenomenon is described by Murphy's Law. Maybe you can give yourself positive psychological suggestions and remind yourself to be grateful.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1257
       },
       {
        "question": "A 12-year-old boy is exhibiting unusual behavior in class. What should I do?",
        "description": "I worked as a teacher at a tutoring institution during the summer break. In our class, there is a boy, a (tall and chubby), and his desk mate, b (thin). They often playfully tease each other, but they have never argued. They always sit together in all the classes, so I thought they were friends. However, today I noticed that whenever class ends, a would always come up from behind and hug b, then shake him from behind. B said, \"Stop doing this to me.\" Because it was the end of class and everyone was playing, no one noticed anything unusual. After class, b ignored a. I felt really uncomfortable about this. It's normal for fifth graders to have good relationships with their same-sex friends, but I don't understand why a would do this. Is this normal behavior? I'm a college student with no teaching experience. What can I do for them in this situation? Should I intervene?",
        "keywords": "Development, personality improvement, student growth, child development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I want to say that you're amazing for noticing such subtle phenomena during your internship. It's normal for children to get along well with those of the same sex, especially when these two boys are desk mates and sit closer to each other. In their minds, they may trust each other more due to the proximity. This could have led to the action A took towards B. For A, it may symbolize friendly interaction with a friend and show that they have a close relationship. However, at the same time, this action may not be as pleasant for B. After all, everyone has different behavior patterns, ways of getting along, and ways of expressing emotions, which can lead to misunderstandings. Perhaps you can talk to A about how he perceives his relationship with B and whether he considers B a close friend (since there is an apparent difference in their body size). You can remind him to be more mindful of his actions at times and to consider the comfort of both friends in their interactions. Additionally, you can also talk to B and help explain that A's actions may indicate that they have a good relationship. You might suggest to B that he discuss his thoughts with A as sometimes being angry and ignoring him may not be conducive to their friendship. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15032
       },
       {
        "question": "Loneliness, solitude, isolation, independence, what do they all mean?",
        "description": "Loneliness, solitude, isolation, independence, sometimes all these feelings come together, and I don't know who is who, what are they?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, emotional intelligence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, poster, hello, the following are some of my understanding, I would like to share with you: (1) About loneliness and solitude: In my opinion, loneliness and solitude are both states and feelings. We feel lonely because we do not feel understood by others. In fact, we long to be understood and cared for. The emphasis on \"one\" implies being alone, but this \"one\" is a forced state. (2) Isolation, on the other hand, refers to a relationship where one consciously ignores the other party, it is a distancing in terms of a relationship. Isolation means being left alone, if one is being isolated, they can be passive and alone. (3) Independence is a form of self-reliance and proactive choice. It means I can choose the kind of life I want by my own abilities. Independence doesn't mean being distant from others, but rather maintaining one's own unique values and approach to handling things, having one's own judgments. (4) When all these emotions fill the heart, the poster needs to know whether their current situation is a result of proactive choice or being forced to accept it. Or in other words, how can we turn passivity into proactivity, this is something the poster needs to consider. #The world and I love you, wishing you well~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Loneliness: No one to accompany, no one can enter one's own world, not understood. Solitude: Constantly mocking oneself, unwilling to communicate with others, compared to the arrogance of loneliness, solitude is often the result of low self-esteem. Isolation: I think it is a paranoid existence, also a strong existence, knowing how to strive in pain. Independence: A person with a very strong inner self, not caring about any emotions, viewing friendship, family relationship, and love as insignificant. However, independent people may still rely on one of these emotions, but not all at the same time.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13640
       },
       {
        "question": "Mother always scolds people, what methods can make her change?",
        "description": "My mother always criticizes and scolds people. She finds fault with everything. I really want her to change this bad habit of speaking impulsively, but I often feel helpless and don't know what to do. Is there any way to help her change this bad habit and also make our family more harmonious?",
        "keywords": "Family, parental communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Give you a warm hug. From OP's description, I understand that the behavior of criticizing others is a long-term habit developed by their mother. It may be difficult to completely correct it, but we can try the following methods to help her alleviate this behavior. First, we need to make her aware of this problem through communication, so that she can understand the impact of her behavior on others and the possible damage to family relationships. Secondly, invite her to participate in activities and practices that help improve her mood, so that she can know some ways to calm herself down when her emotions are intense. We can also learn these methods to promptly calm the other person down when they want to get angry, and avoid direct conflicts at the moment.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It may be possible to change, but definitely very difficult. Criticism is the way the subject's mother communicates with others, it is her way of expressing her views, attracting attention, and it is also the way she has learned to speak from her own parents, partners, and environment over the decades. She should be able to get what she wants through this method, the attention of her parents, the compromise of her partner, the obedience of her child... If this method has caused her great harm or loss of important opportunities, she would have changed it a long time ago, right? She has her own life, we have our own life; we cannot change her life, nor do we want to be influenced by her anymore; all we can do is to isolate ourselves from her life, not to be entangled, and live our own life well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6952
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do I want to ignore my best friend more and more? I want to end the friendship but I don't know how to say it.",
        "description": "Seeing the messages my best friend sends me always brings great pressure and makes me feel anxious and irritable. I don't want to reply to her messages, and I especially dislike it when she sends voice messages and video calls. She is an idol fan, and she often argues with me because her idol is different from mine. She is into fandom culture, but I'm not. She often tells me negative things about my idol and criticizes his character. Then she tries to persuade me to like her idol by highlighting his positive aspects. I really hate this behavior, but I tolerate it. She also likes to playfully hit people and when she gets excited, she would suddenly slap you. I have complained to her about it, but she responds by saying, \"You're so sensitive. It's just a light slap, it's not that serious.\" She also likes to call me fat, saying things like, \"Why are you so fat? You're so chubby.\" She also gets angry if someone says another girl looks better than her, and she would pick a fight with that person. Sometimes, if I say something wrong, she would also start insulting people. I haven't done anything, I just endure it. Now that we have graduated and are in different cities, I don't know if this friendship can continue. I want to end the friendship, but I don't know how to say it and I'm afraid to say it.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, communication, friends.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, your best friend may be a more laid-back person, self-centered, and easily influenced by her own thoughts without much empathy for others. Perhaps distance creates beauty, and university life is more complex than before. Perhaps after entering university and joining different social circles, she has gradually matured and some of her inappropriate behaviors or thoughts may change over time. Maybe after entering university, both of you have formed new social circles and your contact may not be as close as before. If you usually chat with each other or when she confides in you or talks about unhappy things, maybe you can discuss with her some issues she might need to pay attention to. This way, it can improve your friendship and help her adapt better to the new social circles. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11693
       },
       {
        "question": "The child is a little troublesome, how can I become a qualified mother?",
        "description": "The child can be a bit troublesome, as parents, how should we handle them and be better parents?",
        "keywords": "Growth and developmental patterns, children's growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "How can I become a better parent? This question needs to be differentiated by the child's age, and different parenting methods should be adopted according to different stages of the child's development. When I saw you say that your child can be a bit difficult, I wonder if your child is still a baby. Babies need complete parents. We need to differentiate whether the child is being difficult because their needs are not being met, or if the child is naturally high-maintenance. The method of differentiation is simple. As parents, you need to observe your child with patience. What does the child need when they are being difficult? Are they hungry and want to eat? Do they need a diaper change? Or are they feeling bored and want their mother to comfort them? If you observe and meet these needs in a timely manner, then observe if the child is still being difficult. If they are still being difficult, we can conclude that this child is basically high-maintenance. Having a high-maintenance child is not a big problem, but parents need to be more patient in dealing with them, patiently soothing and comforting them, treating them gently and mildly, giving them enough love, securing their sense of safety, and providing sufficient emotional support. As a result, the child's difficult behavior will gradually diminish, and as they grow older, parents will find it less worrisome. Best wishes, the world and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Babies communicate with the outside world through crying, which can sometimes be annoying. The care provided by parents is crucial for children aged one or two. It depends on whether the caregivers are sensitive enough, and whether their emotions are stable. It is important to take care of one's emotions on a regular basis and, based on understanding and fully accepting one's emotions, use reason to think and control one's actions. The fundamental goal of emotional management is to prevent emotions from affecting decision-making. No matter how \"bad\" your emotions may be, the emotions themselves are not the problem. What truly troubles you, what makes you feel bad, is not your \"emotions,\" but the feelings that emotions bring to you and your negative understanding of emotions. First, face and experience your emotions. Acceptance means fully experiencing and feeling your emotions. Experiencing and feeling emotions means that \"you\" have control, and emotions become objects, so they can no longer control you. Second, analyze your emotions. There are two sets of thinking systems in humans. One is automated thinking, which is unconscious reflex formed in millions of years of evolution and your personal growth process. The other is rational thinking, which is the choice you make after thinking about something. We need to first determine whether the reminders received from the emotional system are correct before we can decide how to handle them. Third, think rationally. The ultimate goal of emotional management is to enable you to think rationally about problems. You can learn to cut off the influence of emotions on your decision-making system when your emotions are excited; rational thinking can be acquired through continuous practice. Take care of a crying baby in a stable emotional state. Reasons for a baby's crying: 1. It's too hot or too cold. 2. It's too dry. 3. Indigestion, poor digestion, getting hot or eating too much at night can also lead to restless sleep. 4. Uncomfortable blankets or sleeping positions, and many other reasons. It is advisable to consult a professional doctor for other possible reasons. May these words accompany you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5351
       },
       {
        "question": "I am feeling conflicted while eating from a bowl and thinking about what's in the pot. What should I do?",
        "description": "I am a girl, currently in my second year of college. Here's what happened: during the final exams of last semester, I met an older student who was pursuing a master's degree in the study room (he actively introduced himself to me and added me on WeChat). I could feel that he had feelings for me. After the exams, he took me out for a meal. I also had feelings for him and things were going well. However, when the break started and I went home, he stopped contacting me, and I didn't contact him either. But during the break, he contacted me once, saying that he was busy studying for exams. Now that school has started again, we haven't been in touch. But I still have feelings for him. As for why I say I'm having the cake and wanting to eat it too, it's because during the summer break, I met a boy and we had strong feelings for each other. We got together in a short period of time. But after cooling down, I realized I still had feelings for that older student. During the summer break, I broke up with this boy twice. A big part of the reason was that we were only together for a few days before having to be in a long-distance relationship, which made me feel insecure. Another part of the reason was because of this older student. I also confessed to this boy about my feelings for the older student. I'm afraid that when I go back to school, I will end up liking the older student and not liking him anymore, which would make things really difficult. But this boy seems to have genuinely fallen for me, he",
        "keywords": "Love, infidelity, relationship management, affection.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Your response to emotions relies on a sense of dependency and warmth, which is an inner psychological need of yours that may be influenced by your upbringing. You seek emotional connections in intimate relationships in order to comfort yourself. It is recommended to seek psychological counseling to fulfill these inner needs. This way, your approach to emotions will be based on genuine emotional needs rather than serving as internal compensation. I recommend reading the book \"Encountering Your Unknown Self\" to explore your inner self, establish a connection with it, and find yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "He is very persistent with me. I feel very comfortable and at ease when I am with him, and I am also attached to the feeling of being held and pampered by him. He now gives me enough sense of security, and he is not the kind of guy who takes relationships lightly. I am not someone who takes relationships lightly either, but even after coming to school, I still miss this senior and secretly hope to meet him. I even want to take the initiative to contact him and test his attitude towards me now. I know that this senior may not like me as much, but I still think that if I had contacted him after his exams in the summer vacation, maybe things wouldn't be like this now? I feel that my current thoughts are very dangerous. I'm afraid that if I really go find this senior, I will be betraying my current boyfriend, especially since we are in a long-distance relationship. I don't know what has gotten into me. I feel like a terrible woman.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10029
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently, I have been making a lot of mistakes at work. How can I relieve work stress?",
        "description": "Lately, I have been making mistakes at work and feeling stressed and upset. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Career, work pressure.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. First, let me give you a big hug. Let's take a look at your problem: making mistakes at work and feeling a lot of stress. We don't know what is causing you to make mistakes at work. Is it carelessness? Restlessness? Or is it due to the pressure from your personal and professional life? I suggest that you identify the reasons for your mistakes and then work on overcoming them. If it's due to carelessness, try to be more meticulous by double-checking documents, contracts, and so on. If you're feeling restless, engage in activities that you enjoy and that bring you happiness to improve your mood. Once you've calmed down, you can continue with your work. If you're experiencing a lot of pressure, find ways to release that pressure before tackling your tasks with a relaxed mindset. Let me share a few methods for stress relief with you. It is said that sharing happiness with others doubles the joy, and sharing pain reduces the suffering by half. Expressing yourself is important and necessary. You can choose to confide in friends and family, seeking comfort and solutions from them, or you can vent your negative emotions into an inanimate object. Trust me, you will feel much more relaxed after pouring your heart out. Find healthy and enjoyable ways to decompress, such as going for a run, listening to music, or treating yourself to something delicious. Through these activities, you can release your stress and embrace a better life that awaits you. Finally, do what you love. We often possess tolerance and patience when it comes to the things we love. Engaging in activities we enjoy not only helps us de-stress but also gives us a sense of fulfillment. This sense of accomplishment will benefit you in completing both your work and the issues weighing you down in your personal life.",
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        ],
        "questionID": 9031
       },
       {
        "question": "A 22-year-old girl has been lacking passion towards life for a long time.",
        "description": "Since high school up till now, it has always been like this. I am happy for a minute or two when I have good food, but then I quickly calm down. Even when walking on the street, I always think that at any given moment, I might fall into a sewer and disappear, or when I see a river, I imagine being swept away and disappearing. However, I don't feel afraid, instead, I find it somewhat amusing. Sometimes, I have the impulse to jump, but I'm afraid of pain. My parents want me to stay by their side and work, but I only want to go to the northwest, to be buried in the yellow soil, living a simple life doesn't matter to me. I can eat plain boiled vegetables for a month without getting tired, it doesn't really matter, I just want to stay alive. It doesn't matter if I die the next second, it would be a waste if my organs cannot be donated. I always think about what my parents' lives will be like after I'm gone. After thinking about it, it's actually just like that, I feel sorry for them, but it only lasts for a while. People always have to go alone in the end. My body is very healthy, just lacking desires. I used to have a passion for things I liked, but now it only lasts for a minute at best. Anyway, no matter what I do, I lack enthusiasm. I want to find a job, but I also dislike interacting with people. I even find it disgusting when my family members try to be affectionate with me. When a close relative of mine fell seriously ill, I couldn't feel any distress, but I could cry for a stranger's passing. My sister raised me, when her child died, the whole family was in mourning, but I remained indifferent. It's difficult for me to empathize with their pain.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, empathy, social adaptation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, from your description, I sense a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. It saddens me to hear what you've been through at the age of 22, as if you don't want to care too much about it. Although you have parents, a sister, and loved ones, it seems like you lack intimate experiences. You mentioned that you would cry for the death of a stranger, but feel nothing for the grief of your loved ones. Could this be a silent rebellion? We often feel the freedom to express our true emotions towards strangers, but when it comes to loved ones, we are often bound by many expectations. It's as if you \"should\" feel grateful, \"should\" be obedient, \"should\" be filial, \"should\" take care of your parents, and so on. As a result, when it's \"supposed\" to be difficult, you can't even feel that discomfort anymore. You mentioned that this state began in high school, which is a period of personal identity development. During this period, our inner desires are easily overshadowed by academic pressure and uncomprehending family members. There is always a need to live within the demands of others, but no one, including yourself, can prioritize your own feelings. It creates a disconnect between you and your emotions, and your body, leading to that feeling of emptiness and loneliness, \"losing enthusiasm for life.\" To establish enthusiasm for life, you first need to establish a connection with yourself, become aware of and value your own feelings, sincerely face yourself, and bravely express yourself to the outside world, even if it means anger or conflict. Let the withered true self within you sprout and grow. Only then can you give space to your own emotions, feel the \"flavor\" of the world, and rediscover where your enthusiasm lies.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, living a life without passion and hope for a long time, the world becomes gray. It must be tough. I hope that my following answer can help you and bring some color to your life. When did you start feeling peaceful about the world, being lack of enthusiasm resembles living with post-traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a major trauma. Is there any obstacle that you find difficult to overcome? Dear, if you can't let go of the past, it will continue to affect your present and even your future. So, in order to live in this world, you need to learn to accept yourself and reconcile with your past self in order to live in the present moment. You might try to solve the problems that trouble you and then try to live a new life. Although you are less sensitive to external stimuli, you are not completely numb. At least you still feel fear and pain. This proves that you still have a strong will to survive. Since you have to live, you should live well and not waste your life and the good years. You are still young, and the future holds endless possibilities. Don't easily confine yourself to a particular circle, thinking that you will live your whole life like that. Learn to empathize with the people around you. You are a very rational person, and at least you know what you should do. You just temporarily lack the ability to do so. So you might try to communicate with your family, make a plan, and try to understand yourself and build emotional connections with others by reading some books on communication skills. Cultivate your interests. Everyone has their own hobbies and interests, which can bring joy and motivation to our lives. Although you currently lack interest in anything around you, you will change, and things will change with time. With sincere effort, you will always find things that interest you. I hope that at that time, you can persist and cultivate your interests and love life. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for the invitation. Who are you trying to punish with this \"neither alive nor dead\" state? (This was my immediate reaction when I saw your message.) If we were in a counseling room, I might discuss what happened in high school, when these symptoms began, and what you were like before. There is too much to understand, and it can only be uncovered in a counseling session. Since this is a public screen response, I can only try to help you based on limited information: 1. Have you received professional assessments for depression or other psychological factors? These assessments are usually conducted by professional doctors to determine if medication is necessary. Psychological counseling is an auxiliary method in conjunction with medication. Medication can help our damaged brains regain rational functioning, which allows psychological counseling/treatment to better identify the causes of harm. You can visit a hospital in your city to undergo an assessment. This is the first step towards recovery. 2. Feeling a dislike for and even disgust towards interpersonal communication, including feeling nauseated by intimacy with loved ones. This can be explored freely during counseling, to see if it is related to certain specific events or people. The feeling of disgust includes complex emotions, which requires meticulous counseling to slowly uncover the subconscious that you are consciously trying to forget/not wanting to remember. There is much information to be understood, so it is advisable to find a trusted and likable counselor as soon as possible to together seek the motivation and enthusiasm for the life you desire.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello host: When I saw your words, I seemed to see a world in your eyes that is not colorful but gray. I don't know why I am alive? If I die, my family will be heartbroken. Only being alive is enough, without any expectations or aspirations. It's also difficult to tell from your question what you are seeking. I think this feeling of having no desires or demands is also uncomfortable. If this continues, I suggest you go to the hospital to rule out depression. If it's just low mood, then there is no problem naturally. But if it's depression, it can't be solved simply by doing or not doing something. Finally, take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. Pat pat on the head. I'm the same as you, 22 years old and unemployed. I've been unhappy since high school. I also dislike being around people and always feel a deep sense of alienation. There was a time when I relied on thoughts of death to get by. The difference is that I love this world. The sunshine, flowers, and everything in the gentle rain all emanate the power of life and aesthetic beauty. Whenever this happens, a sense of intense joy surges within me. I love this world. So I've been constantly searching for solutions and making continuous adjustments. My suggestion is to meditate for 15 to 20 minutes every morning and read Buddhist scriptures in the evening. In the afternoon, I read a bit of \"The Four Lessons of Life.\" The author has a merit book where they accumulate the good and bad things they do each day, do good deeds, and accumulate positive karma. I plan to follow suit and recommend it to you as well. Additionally, you can read \"The Four Lessons of Life\" to gain insight into destiny, which is very helpful for life. At the same time, I hope you find a job. I'm also planning to look for work. This year, due to the pandemic, I studied for a civil service exam at home for half a year but failed. I even failed to get the lowest passing score by only two points. So I have to look for a job. I must have a job and can start with simple tasks, gradually finding my own value in life. I hope you can be happy and find happiness soon. I remember watching a movie before, \"A Little Princess.\" Every girl is a little princess. Love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12355
       },
       {
        "question": "Every time I communicate with people, I feel nervous, scared, and afraid when looking into their eyes.",
        "description": "There's no way to maintain prolonged eye contact with people. My facial expression becomes increasingly stiff, as do my eyes. I also panic when others stare at me, and my facial expressions become unnatural. I'm afraid that people will notice and try to avoid and escape from their gaze. Once others stop paying attention to me, the pain subsides. This lack of social interaction has seriously affected my life and work! How can I overcome this?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! As the old saying goes, \"the eyes are the windows to the soul.\" There is a lot we can tell from someone's eyes, including their emotions and thoughts. It's normal to feel nervous when being stared at for a long time or when staring at others. However, there is a condition called \"fear of eye contact,\" which is a type of social anxiety disorder and a form of neurosis. It is most common in teenagers between the ages of fifteen to twenty. They fear making eye contact with others and avoid speaking in social situations. They often believe that people are staring at them or talking about them. The main symptoms include nervousness, difficulty concentrating, obsessive thoughts and ideas, as well as accompanying negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, irritability, and fear. Many people with this condition have trouble with normal social interactions, greatly impacting their daily life and work. However, there is no need to worry excessively. Neurosis is essentially a temporary dysregulation of higher neural activity, and fear of eye contact is a common and prevalent condition during adolescence. It occurs due to the rapid physical development during puberty, which can be challenging to adapt to psychologically, compounded by the stress of education and work, resulting in poor adaptation of the nervous system. First and foremost, it is important to maintain a positive mindset and believe that you can overcome your current difficulties. Consciously engage in more social activities and start conversations with people you are familiar with, making sure not to deliberately avoid eye contact. Trust in yourself, you can do it! Keep going, keep going, keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The saying goes, \"The eyes are the windows to the soul.\" From our eyes, we can see many things, including emotions and thoughts, so it is normal to feel nervous when being stared at for a long time or when staring at others. Many of us have similar feelings, and it is usually difficult to maintain direct eye contact with others for an extended period of time. There is often a need to shift our gaze to alleviate this sense of tension. However, when engaging in conversation with others, looking into their eyes is a sign of respect and etiquette. Speaking while looking into the other person's eyes also conveys a sense of confidence and sincerity. If you experience panic, stiffness, or the desire to escape, it reflects a strong self-protective awareness within you, a lack of security, and an unwillingness to reveal your own emotions and thoughts to the outside world. You are highly sensitive to external contact and feel that being stared at by others is an invasion, hence the fear and retreat, fearing that others will see your inner thoughts and lack of confidence through your eyes. In interpersonal communication, it is necessary to maintain eye contact to appear polite. Here's a little trick for you: when you want to look at someone, you don't have to stare directly into their eyes. Instead, focus on their nose. This way, you won't feel nervous, and the other person will think you are looking into their eyes and not consider it impolite. In addition, you can prepare some props based on the content of the conversation. For example, if you need to discuss work with a boss or colleague, have a notebook in front of you. During the conversation, you can occasionally shift your gaze to the notebook, pretending to be looking at work-related content. This can help alleviate your nervousness. However, the most fundamental aspect is to improve from within by facing your fears and insecurities head-on. Find ways to strengthen your sense of security and self-confidence. Practice maintaining eye contact with others more often, and try to understand and accept the gaze of others from a place of goodwill. Remind yourself that it's not a big deal and that others will not harm you because of it. You can do it. Keep going!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Friend, hello. You mentioned that you feel nervous, fearful, and have a stiff expression when you are being stared at or when someone stares at you. Despite this, I can see that you have a strong willingness to overcome the situation, otherwise, you wouldn't be seeking help here. Just for that, I want to give you a thumbs up. So, how can you overcome this current predicament? Below, I will provide you with some of my thoughts on a solution. First, if you were to give a name to the predicament you are currently facing, what would you call it? Since I don't know your answer, let's assume you call it \"trouble,\" alright? Think about the answers to the following questions. 1. How long has this \"trouble\" been present in your life? 2. What kind of impact has this trouble had on you? 3. When does the power of this trouble weaken a bit? 4. Evaluate to what extent this trouble controls your life, studies, and freedom. What percentage of authority does it have over your life? And what percentage of control do you have over your own life? 5. From which aspects can you regain some control from this trouble? When you achieve this, how much control have you regained from this trouble? What else can you do to gain more control? This is an overall approach to dealing with your current predicament. How can you specifically address this situation? In simple terms, face your nervousness and fear directly. So, list all the situations that make you feel nervous and fearful in order of severity, and then start training yourself to confront the lowest level of fear. It's best to have someone around to support and supervise you during this process, but if not, self-monitoring works as well. Make a personal commitment that if you cannot achieve it, the psychotherapist who left you this message and all your loved ones will face certain consequences (negative outcomes). By doing so, you can push yourself to achieve it. Once you have accomplished the lowest level, move on to the next level of training, and so on. Gradually, you will be able to overcome it. Of course, if you can seek the help of a psychological counselor who is well-versed in cognitive-behavioral therapy theory and has rich experience in social anxiety intervention, I believe the counseling effect will be better. Even if you can't seek help from a professional, you can still help yourself. \"God helps those who help themselves.\" Okay, please make sure to put this into practice because only through practice can we gain true knowledge. I hope my suggestions can be of help to you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I wonder if you have heard of \"fear of eye contact\"? \"Fear of eye contact\" is a type of social anxiety disorder and a form of neurosis. It is more common in teenagers aged fifteen to twenty. They are afraid to make eye contact with others and are hesitant to speak in crowded places. They always believe that others are staring at them or talking about them. Common characteristics include nervousness, lack of concentration, compulsive thoughts and ideas, accompanied by negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, irritability, and fear. Many people are affected by this and it seriously impacts their social interactions, as well as their daily life and work. However, please don't worry too much. The essence of neurosis is a temporary imbalance in higher nervous activity, and fear of eye contact is a common and prevalent condition during adolescence. It is caused by rapid physical development during puberty, temporary difficulty in psychological adaptation, as well as the pressure of studying and working, resulting in maladjustment of the nervous system. Therefore, I have a few suggestions for you. First, if it severely affects your life, I recommend visiting a psychiatric department at a hospital and considering medication. This may quickly help you overcome your fear. Second, if it's not severe, you can try using behavioral and psychological techniques to recover. 1. First and foremost, develop a positive mindset and believe that you can overcome your current difficulties. 2. Read aloud for half an hour every day, ideally with emotion and expression. 3. Sing a song every day, either at home or in a secluded place, or even go to a karaoke room and sing out loud. 4. Actively participate in social activities and engage in conversations with familiar faces. Remember not to avoid eye contact intentionally. 5. Stick to regular exercise such as running, swimming, or basketball to promote metabolic balance and effectively overcome fear. Third, if you haven't seen improvement through your own efforts or the progress is slow, you may consider seeking help from a professional psychologist or counselor to expedite your recovery. Believe in yourself and your ability to achieve health and happiness.\n",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for your trust. Eye contact and empathy abilities are related to building relationships. I don't know about your relationship with your parents, but not being able to make normal eye contact with others may stem from not having been well cared for and nurtured as a child, such as a lack of warm eye contact, loving gazes, understanding your emotions through eye contact, and soothing your emotions through eye contact, etc. If you find it difficult to trust and depend on your parents or loved ones, it will also be difficult for you to trust others and establish relationships with them. If eye contact makes you very fearful, you need to explore more in a safe environment. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "There are two small methods: First, when making eye contact with someone, try looking at their nose. This can help alleviate the nervousness of eye contact, while the other person will still feel that you are paying attention to them. Then, as you look at the person's nose, focus on the internal feeling of tension within yourself and engage in slow diaphragmatic breathing - silently inhaling deeply and exhaling deeply. Direct your attention to the internal tension and observe how it relaxes. Through this introspection, your attention is no longer on the other person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Personal opinion: (Thanks for inviting me) The eyes are the windows to a person's soul. Through the eyes, you can see the whole person. Why are you afraid to look into someone's eyes? Is it because you are afraid to face that person deep down in your heart? Is it because you feel inferior about yourself? If that's the case, then you need to overcome your attitude towards that person. In life and work, there are many situations that require communication with others, so it is important to be able to look directly into their eyes during conversations. Being unable to look into someone's eyes reveals your subconscious unease and panic, so you need to trust yourself more and be more grounded. You should believe in your inner abilities. There's nothing to be afraid of, no one or nothing can make me fearful. Slowly accept the entire world, slowly accept the whole self, and truly feel your entirety. Everything is up to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "\u2460First of all, cognition, behavior, and emotions all influence each other, which means that by changing cognition and behavior, you can also influence your emotions. In addition, you need to evaluate your emotional reactions, with a rating of 10 meaning very afraid and very anxious, and 0 meaning not afraid or anxious at all. Please evaluate yourself. Secondly, you need to find the true underlying causes that affect your emotions. Usually, when you identify the stimuli that trigger your emotions (often due to problems with your perspectives and beliefs), your emotions will also be relieved accordingly. Both behavior and cognition can be learned and strengthened, and can also be relieved and diminished through various methods. We can further discuss this. \u2461Looking into people's eyes makes you feel nervous and fearful. If this happens when facing many people, it indicates that your nervousness and fear are generalized. I have had similar experiences, although not as intense. My analysis of the underlying thoughts is that when I make eye contact with people I am not familiar with, sometimes I don't know what to say. At the same time, I don't think I need to greet them, but I also feel that not greeting them may cause their displeasure. Additionally, I lack proficiency in social interaction and greetings, and I am afraid that my clumsy reaction will provoke others' dislike and ridicule. So, I can practice interacting with others and saying appropriate things in front of a mirror, displaying proper expressions. \u2462As for the level of perspectives and thoughts, I can give an example to illustrate this common phenomenon. We often assume that others pay close attention to our every action and bodily defect, but in fact, they may not have noticed or, even if they did, they may not care so much. There was a girl who had a black tooth due to taking antibiotics. Every time she interacted with others face to face, she had the thought that others were looking at her teeth and making all sorts of judgments about them. Years later, she still remained unmarried because of this incident. When she mentioned it at a gathering with old friends, they were surprised and said, \"You had a black tooth back then? We sat at the same table for so long and I never noticed.\" \u2463When you feel nervous during a speech, just express it by saying, \"I'm a bit nervous, sorry.\" The audience won't pay so much attention or judge you. Besides, the audience also feels nervous when delivering speeches. Similarly, when you see someone's eyes looking awkward or nervous, they might be feeling the same way. Take the initiative to communicate and actively train your social skills, and analyze the perspectives and thoughts behind your actions. You will become better. When you feel happy every day, the world is yours.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It seems that during general conversations or meetings, it is not necessary to stare at each other or others for a long time, right? It can make people feel uncomfortable and oppressed when they are constantly stared at. When communicating, it is sufficient to make eye contact with the other person at the beginning or when discussing important and crucial points, in order to see their reaction and confirm that they have received important information and emotions. Most people, like the original poster, are ordinary individuals, and although their ways of expression and habits may differ, their psychological reactions, feelings, and emotional expressions are quite similar. What the original poster dislikes, most people will also dislike, and what others hope to perceive from the original poster is the same as what the original poster hopes to see and perceive from others. Therefore, by putting oneself in others' shoes, it becomes clear that some things are being overly concerned about, and overthinking can cause unnecessary fretting. In reality, things may not be as serious, and others may not care as much as we think they do.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20082
       },
       {
        "question": "My foreign girlfriend, 27 years old, has been suffering from depression for 7 years and has trouble sleeping. How can I help her?",
        "description": "She couldn't fall asleep all night. She used to take medication (Seroxat, Quetiapine Fumarate Tablets; Zoloft, Sertraline Hydrochloride Tablets) to help her sleep, but she woke up with a headache. I think she lacks a sense of security and love. I suggested that she stop taking the medication because of the headaches, and she also doesn't want to take them. But a few days later, she said, \"I can't live and work normally. Do you know how uncomfortable my body feels during the day? Even getting takeout and opening the door feels exhausting to me. I feel dizzy and have to lean against the wall to recover before I can pick things up. I'm going crazy, you know. When I close my eyes to sleep, I hear voices in my head. The sounds of different metallic materials quickly pass through my whole body, making me itchy. My eyes are also itchy, and I end up scratching my legs until they bleed. Do you know how much pain I'm in? I also suddenly feel bone-chillingly cold. Am I dying? I was perfectly fine when I took medication for the first three months. I've never experienced such joy of being able to sleep 9 or 10 hours every day. But then it just stopped working.\"...\"Don't message me. I don't want to communicate with anyone. Let me have some peace for a while.\" We were middle school classmates and were together 10 years ago. We separated but stayed in touch. Something happened recently, and she thinks we're perfect for each other. We've been together for a few months, but I don't understand depression and bipolar disorder. She's in so much pain, and I can't help her. I can't go back to my country because of the pandemic. I'm in so much pain, and I can't help her.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, treatment methods, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello. First of all, give you a hug and sympathize with your situation. Your beloved girl is suffering from illness at the moment, and you don't know how to help her because you can't empathize with her. First of all, depression is a disease. This disease cannot be seen or touched, but just because there is no cough or fever, it doesn't mean it is not a disease. Depressed patients often suffer more because they don't receive understanding from others. Therefore, I hope you can give her enough care and patience. Regarding the treatment of depression, it is not as simple as \"you need to be strong, and by being strong you can overcome the disease.\" Let's take a simple example. Depressed patients are like people with a broken leg. Their leg is broken, but you ask them to stand up and run strong, how can they do it? It is recommended to help her actively face treatment. In addition to taking medication on time, if conditions permit, it is best to seek professional psychological counseling. Many people think that taking medication is enough and counseling is not necessary, but in fact, medicines can help her body recover, and psychological counseling can teach her the correct way of thinking about problems. The disease of the mind needs medicine for the mind. After establishing a way of thinking and an outlet for emotional release, I believe she will gradually get better. During the epidemic, you cannot be together, so you can try to find a reputable counselor online. I will not make specific recommendations here. Try to receive psychological treatment and hope it will help her. Wishing you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Thank you for your trust and invitation. You mentioned about your girlfriend, right? She is abroad and you are in China, is that the situation? After all, being too far apart and not being a professional, it would be best for her to go nearby and see a doctor herself. The medical conditions abroad should be better than in China, so after seeking help, she will receive better treatment. I understand your concern for her, but some things are just beyond our reach when we are too far away.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Author, hello~~~ Through your description, I can feel that you care a lot about your girlfriend and really hope to help her alleviate the current situation. I saw that you mentioned your girlfriend has been suffering from depression for 7 years. The duration of the illness is quite long. I wonder if you know the specific reasons behind her depression. Understanding the root causes and reasons of depression is an important basis for doctors to treat depression, and it is also something that the family and friends of the patients should pay attention to. Therefore, in order to help your girlfriend, you need to first understand the main reasons for her depressed mood. Secondly, for depression patients, they do need our company and care. Perhaps you can try to call her before she falls asleep every night and accompany her: you don't need to say much, just being silently present on the line can make her feel that someone is by her side, caring for her. If she doesn't want to talk, you can play some soft music or sleep-inducing music in the voice message to help her relax. On the other hand, the medication treatment for depression needs to be prescribed by a doctor after strict and professional diagnosis. Usually, herbal medicine is also needed as part of the treatment (to relieve some physical symptoms). But I'm not sure if your girlfriend is receiving professional treatment. If not, I think you should help her find a suitable doctor for professional treatment as soon as possible.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12183
       },
       {
        "question": "Last night, I couldn't control myself and self-harmed again. How should I treat the wounds from self-harm?",
        "description": "I couldn't control myself last night and self-harmed again. This time I used a newly bought knife, which was quite sharp. I made three cuts and they all bled. Two of the cuts took half a day to stop bleeding (it has stopped now), but when I woke up this morning, my arm was very painful and numb, especially the cut near my wrist. This has never happened before, and the bleeding was not as heavy before, sometimes even barely bleeding at all. So I have no idea how to treat the wound properly. Is it okay to clean the wound with water? (As a side note, I am feeling extremely weak, whenever I try to stand up, I end up falling back onto the bed. It might be related to not having breakfast, but it shouldn't be anything serious, right?)",
        "keywords": "Behavior, self-harm.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, ~~~ Give the original poster a warm hug, feel sorry for the experiences the original poster has gone through. It must have been a difficult problem to solve to have resulted in uncontrollable self-harm as a last resort. Thankfully, the original poster has now adjusted their emotions and learned to seek help. Here, I applaud the original poster and hope that my answer can help you solve the problem. 1. How to treat the current wound: The original poster used a newly purchased knife to cut themselves, causing bleeding. For injuries caused by cutting instruments that result in skin damage and bleeding, I hope the original poster can take it seriously and go to the hospital to see a surgeon for the condition of the wound. After all, it is still summer, and the hot weather may lead to skin infections and inflammatory reactions if not properly treated. During the medical process, ask the doctor if tetanus prophylaxis is needed and follow their advice for further treatment. 2. Understand your own physical condition and handle the wound properly: Before going to the hospital, the original poster needs to have a certain understanding of their own physical condition in order to choose the appropriate way to seek medical help and cooperate well during the medical consultation process. Waking up in the morning with a sore and numb arm, especially near the wrist, is something the original poster has not experienced before. (As an aside, I am currently feeling particularly weak, and when I try to stand up, I fall back onto the bed. Maybe this is related to not having breakfast?) Based on the original poster's description, they are experiencing pain from the wound as well as weakness. For wound pain, the original poster can assess it using a \"pain scoring chart\" (specific forms can be found on Baidu), determine their own pain level, and inform the doctor about it during the medical visit, so that they can take better measures to relieve pain and provide a more comfortable recovery experience. As for the weakness, it could be due to excessive blood loss from the cut, or it could be due to low blood sugar from not having breakfast. The original poster can start by having breakfast, then evaluate their condition again after the meal to see if the weakness still persists. Finally, the original poster needs to seek medical help based on their own physical condition. If you feel particularly weak, you should seek assistance and have your family or friends accompany you to seek medical help, so that someone can take care of you during the medical journey. 3. Learn to cherish yourself: Perhaps from the original poster's description, it can be understood that this is not their first time attempting self-harm. Perhaps self-harm can help divert attention and relieve inner pain, but it does not bring any benefits to solving the issues that trouble you. After the physical pain is alleviated, you still need to face the problem. \"Health is the greatest wealth.\" Even if you don't cherish your own body, your family and friends will pity you, worry about you. So, even for their sake, you should take good care of yourself and stay healthy. There are many ways to solve problems, and there are always more options than difficulties. I hope that next time you encounter a problem, the original poster can actively and positively face it! Good luck! All the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the principle of the questioner, how are you? Seeing your words is like seeing you in person. First of all, the position of the artery on the wrist is very superficial, and I am afraid that you have injured it, so if the wound is deep, it is best to see a doctor as soon as possible. If you don't want to, then please disinfect it with alcohol or iodine, and do not use plain water or tap water. Then, wrap it with clean medical gauze. Your weakness may be related to blood loss, but I cannot understand how deep your wound is, so the best advice I can give is to go to the hospital for an evaluation to see if stitches and further treatment are needed. In fact, when everyone encounters a bad experience, they will have negative emotions. If they cannot find an effective outlet, these emotions may even worsen. You can vent your inner anxiety and uneasiness by confiding in good friends and seeking help from family members. If you don't want to, you can also exercise outdoors: running, short high-intensity anaerobic exercises, pull-ups, jump rope, and so on. Mental barriers can also be released by consuming physical energy and strength. No matter how difficult or desperate the situation is, never harm yourself. The world and I love you~ A little mushroom that hopes to create a gentle world and give itself time to grow freely.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, I feel so sorry for you. It would be best for you to get up and have something to eat, then go to the hospital or clinic to have your wound treated and bandaged. Improper handling can easily lead to infection. Self-harm refers to intentionally hurting oneself without the intention of ending one's life. It is usually done through cutting or burning one's body. According to its definition, it is a self-injurious behavior that does not include the desire to end one's own life. The purpose of self-harm is to harm oneself. Why did you self-harm? Is it because of too much psychological pressure? Self-harm is usually triggered by various painful emotions. When you harm yourself, what are you trying to express? 1. Perhaps you want to get rid of something, such as feelings of sadness, depression, guilt, shame, helplessness, and despair. The release of endorphins through the pain provides a sense of relief from those oppressive emotions. 2. There may be a problem with the sense of reality, feeling surrounded by emptiness and unable to determine one's true existence, feeling numb and no longer \"truly alive.\" Harming oneself can help them re-experience a sense of reality. 3. Some people feel deep despair that seems to only be seen and understood by hurting their own bodies. Some people experience deep anger and use self-harm to attack and control someone close to them. Still, others seem to only have a deep attachment and self-harm is the last way to test and pull the intimate person back... No matter the reason, you are struggling in the darkness. You may try using different strategies when you sense that your emotions are about to reach a peak but have not yet reached it. Even if it only provides a little help, it is a new life. The world and I love you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm sorry. I want to give you a warm hug through words. I feel very heartbroken for you when you mentioned \"self-harm.\" It seems that you have a habit of self-harming and have to handle the wounds yourself every time. Yes, people have always taught us how to strive in life, but no one has taught us how to protect ourselves and clean our wounds after falling. So now, please join me in properly bandaging and treating your wounds, can you?\ufe0f First stop the bleeding, then clean it. After cutting your wrist, you experienced pain, bleeding, weakness, and the feeling of being powerless from excessive blood loss. Just like when our hearts are severely traumatized, we also feel pain and vulnerability. So, what causes you to \"can't help but self-harm again\"? What is the root of \"self-harm addiction\" and the source of the suffering? This is a deep-seated problem that requires us to cleanse our minds and sort out our true thoughts. (You can search for the \"empty bottle\" technique online, find a safe environment, and go through a self-introspection based on the instructions to listen to your own voice) But as long as we properly treat our wounds and replenish our nutrition, new blood will regenerate and new hope will emerge.\ufe0f You need to express your true thoughts from the bottom of your heart. If you enjoy the feeling of \"bleeding,\" you can strive to become a highly skilled physician through your own efforts. If you need care, you can confide your needs to your family and friends, transforming all the pain and repression into something more worthwhile than \"attacking yourself.\" If there are things you cannot face and need to resolve through \"self-harm,\" are there better solutions? Everyone has the need to be understood and cared for, and both you and I are no exception, but \"self-harm\" will always stay within the realm of self-understanding.\ufe0f Whether to stop \"self-harm\" or not is within your control. But if we use one hand to make it bleed and the other to stop it, what will we use to embrace warmth and life?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Washing your wound with clear water is not advisable, because the \"clear water\" you mentioned may refer to tap water, which is not clean enough and does not meet the medical standard. You should at least buy some saline solution. Well, dear, have you considered seriously maiming yourself: studying medicine, specializing in surgery, for example? I think our medical team needs you. Nowadays, studying medicine is truly a form of \"self-harm\". If you don't believe me, go observe for an afternoon in the emergency department of a hospital and see how much self-harm the doctors and nurses go through, while also having your wound treated. I understand that you want to relieve your emotions by experiencing pain through self-harm. But it's not okay to randomly mess around when you can't even distinguish between veins and arteries. You can try other forms of self-harm, such as getting a tattoo, losing weight, getting piercings, doing physical training, striving in the education system, getting married, having children, making money for baby formula, taking care of your parents as they age, paying back loans to our country, competing and comparing with others for power and profit, and other healthy forms of self-harm that everyone uses.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 13286
       },
       {
        "question": "I suddenly feel anxious, restless, and my back feels numb. What should I do?",
        "description": "Last night, suddenly I felt anxious and uneasy in my mind, my back was numb, and I felt extremely anxious and scared. I couldn't sit or lie down comfortably, always afraid that something bad would happen the next day. I had difficulty falling asleep and was in great distress. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, anxiety, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems like you are feeling really anxious and panicked because you're worried about something bad happening tomorrow, as mentioned in your text. I'm not sure if this has happened before or if it's the first time, but if it's the first time, I wonder if you're worried about something significant happening tomorrow (significant to you), or if tomorrow is an important day for some reason. If this has happened before, then it's important to take it seriously and look for relevant information. In a situation like this, there are a few things you can try. First, you can reach out to your parents, friends, or relatives to explain what you're going through and ask for their advice. They may be able to offer some helpful suggestions. Second, you can try to deal with it on your own by using techniques such as distraction or finding a private place to shout to release your anxiety. Physical exercise can also help relieve stress. Third, if none of the above works, I recommend seeking help from a professional psychologist at a reputable hospital. I hope these immature suggestions can help you overcome your difficulties. Thank you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2180
       },
       {
        "question": "19-year-old male, why have I been experiencing insomnia for the past week?",
        "description": "In the past, I had pretty good sleep quality, but in the past week, I've been experiencing insomnia. I feel tired, but my mind keeps flooding with all kinds of things, thoughts, and so on. I try to control it, but it doesn't work. Every night, I can only stay awake until I'm very tired before falling asleep. This is causing me a lot of distress. Do I have a mental problem?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, staying up late.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, it seems that you are experiencing symptoms of insomnia recently. Did anything special happen a week ago? What event or situation has been affecting you? It's important to identify the cause in order to find a solution and address the problem at its root. I hope my response can help you, and I wish you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3321
       },
       {
        "question": "32-year-old woman, what is the cause of the obstacles in her work?",
        "description": "I followed my grandmother as a child, while my parents worked outside with my younger brother. My grandmother spoiled me a bit, not letting me do anything, even at the age of eight or nine, she still dressed me in socks, shoes, and clothes! She wouldn't let me do anything at home, only study and play! After graduating, I found myself unable to do things, lacking the ability to complete tasks properly, even though I understand the theory! There are obstacles in completing tasks, and I can't do things properly, whether it's work or household chores. Unless someone is commanding me, it will be slightly better! As a result, I have been laid off multiple times. Can anyone help analyze this situation?",
        "keywords": "Growth, improved personality, character traits.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "In the process of being arranged and substituted from a young age, it has led to a series of issues in your life and career! To put it more bluntly: you are unable to take the responsibility for your own life that you should. When a person lacks the courage to face and accept their responsibilities, life will present them with many problems, forcing them to grow up. Only when you can see these responsibilities and willingly take them on, can you truly be reborn! Give it a try, it is never too late to grow up again, as long as you are truly willing to embrace this awakening and see your own brilliance! The family is the embryonic form of the workplace. When a child participates in household chores from a young age, they understand that their personal efforts can contribute to the collective improvement. Such children will have better teamwork skills, be more independent and reliable. At the same time, when helping with household chores, children also develop empathy and are better able to identify the difficulties that everyone faces, which is important professional soft skills. For example, \"when a child takes out the trash or brings out the clothes, they will realize that we need to do something to integrate into life. Life is not just about me, it's not just about my immediate needs, I am part of the entire ecosystem. I am a member of the family and when I grow up, I will be a member of the workforce.\" You don't get what you \"want,\" you only get what you \"work\" for. A child becomes a useful adult not because of what you do for them, but by teaching them to do it themselves! Help your inner child grow up, starting now, from this moment! I hope what I said is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to be able to answer your question. From your description, it seems that your grandmother has been overly doting on you since you were young. She doesn't let you do anything, even at the age of eight or nine, she doesn't let you wear socks, shoes, or clothes, and she doesn't let you do anything at home either, only studying and playing. From this description, it seems that you feel obstructed when doing things, and you often feel that there is only one method, and that method is ineffective. Apart from this method, the only other method is to stop. It seems that when doing things, there are only these two methods, and you get stuck in a predicament. We say that actually there are always at least three solutions to every problem. What you lack is the ability to think in multiple ways, which is called divergent thinking. It's not that we lack the neural network for divergent thinking, but rather that we have been instilled with too many limiting beliefs since childhood, which create many frameworks and rules within the neural network. This is not allowed, that is not allowed, so your original neural network has not been released and utilized. Therefore, breaking these rules and frameworks is the first step in enhancing divergent thinking. Here's a simple example: if you encounter a similar problem in the future, you can think, \"If it's possible to do this thing, where could it be possible: who/what/where could I find?\" This way of thinking can help us broaden our thinking network, and then we can find ways to do things instead of staying in the mindset of \"there is only one method, and if it doesn't work, I'll stop,\" and not being able to make progress. In addition, this pattern may have led to a learned helplessness and a low sense of self-worth and self-efficacy. At this time, even before doing anything, you may already deny yourself. You said that you understand the theory, but in practice, from theory to implementation, from knowing to doing, it requires practice. Continuous practice, reflection, learning, and practice again is the process. So in the future, you can look for opportunities to do the following thinking exercises: randomly choose a goal, for example, from Shenzhen to Shanghai, and imagine three different methods to reach the destination; or you can think of a question like \"how can I see new books without spending money?\" and come up with three different methods, and after thinking about it, tell yourself that you're not allowed to think about the previous three methods and think of new methods. Repeat this kind of thinking exercise multiple times to expand your thinking network, and then stop. In fact, you will be very happy during this process because you will start to appreciate your wild ideas, stimulate your sense of humor, problem-solving abilities, and the creative part of your neural network. Finally, I wish you a breakthrough!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "At the age when one is supposed to be able to do things independently, it is a realization that many things cannot be done well. This state of affairs indeed makes people feel frustrated, helpless, and powerless. From your own experience of growing up, you must have felt some grievances and regrets from not being with your parents since childhood, right? Perhaps there is also some anger? Your grandmother's doting on you caused you to not know how to handle some household chores, and you only knew how to study and play. You think this is also one of the reasons why you are facing difficulties in your work now. \u203b Learn to accept yourself: Find a quiet place, quiet down, and read a prayer of self-acceptance. Accept your body, accept your anxiety, accept your strengths, and also accept your weaknesses. Baidu search \"prayer of self-acceptance\" and you will find such a paragraph. Read it once a day, and gradually, you will find that your level of self-acceptance is much better, and your perception of things around you will also be different. \u203b Nurture the inner child: Take a look back at that little you who was left at home. Although you were a bit lonely, your grandmother treated you well. When you were young, you didn't need to worry about so many trivial matters; you could rely on your grandmother for help. Now, you have grown up and become an adult who is capable of taking responsibility for yourself. You no longer need others to help or instruct you on what to do; you can learn to do it yourself. \u203b Find inner strength: Tear off those labels on yourself, and follow your heart to do things. Don't judge, what you do is the best. No matter what, many things are not accomplished in one fell swoop. Compliment yourself every day, see where you have done well, give yourself some positive suggestions, and gradually improve!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the host cannot do anything well on their own and needs someone else to direct them in order to do things well. This state of affairs makes the host feel a little frustrated and they also hope that they can do things well, both in work and in life. The fact that the host has come here seeking answers also indicates a strong desire for change. The most important thing in achieving something is to have the motivation to change. When the host was young, they lived with their grandmother who doted on them and didn't let them do anything. Although the host knew how to do things, they still lacked the initiative. From a psychological perspective, the behavior and thoughts of an adult are related to the patterns of interaction with their primary caregivers during early childhood or the early stages of life. The lack of motivation, from a self-psychology perspective, is because the primary caregivers did not provide long-term, stable affirmation, appreciation, or response during the preverbal period, nor did they have idealized role models or sufficient satisfaction, resulting in the child lacking self-confidence and lacking motivation to do anything. The grandmother prevented the child from doing anything, ostensibly out of love and concern, but in fact, such indulgence made the child realize their own incompetence. This has led to the child subconsciously feeling that they are not good enough and can't do anything well, and these subconscious beliefs are controlling the host and preventing them from taking initiative. Suggestions: 1. The host can examine the psychological motivations behind their inability to do things, what has happened in the past, and what impact it has had on them. 2. In real life, the host can set some simple and achievable tasks, starting with small things around them, gradually building self-confidence. 3. The host can also seek help from friends or family members who provide a sense of security to help them persist in doing something, providing supervision and support.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Questioner, hello, I feel really sorry for this problem and I give you a hug. I hope to bring you some warmth and comfort. [Feedback Summary] First, let's summarize the problem I saw, you take a look if it's right. 1. The questioner, female, 32 years old. 2. Your parents work outside with your younger brother, while you are a left-behind child. 3. You grew up with your grandmother since you were young, and she spoils you a lot and does many things she shouldn't do for you. 4. After graduating and entering society, you found that you don't know how to do many things. 5. You realize that you know the theory behind many things, but when it comes to actually doing them, you encounter obstacles unless someone is instructing you. 6. As a result, you have been fired many times, and you want to know what is going on. [Understanding and Analysis] Let me talk about my understanding and analysis. First, let's talk about the issue with your parents. Only one sentence mentions your parents, that they work outside with your younger brother while you have been with your grandmother since you were young. What surprised me is that there is no resentment expressed here. For an adult, it is reasonable to understand their own parents, but it is somewhat unusual for a child to not have any thoughts about the differential treatment from their parents. Regardless of how well your grandmother treats you, your parents chose to bring your younger brother with them instead of you, and you accepted it calmly as if nothing happened. I think there is some element of unreasonableness or suppressed feelings. Second, let's talk about your grandmother's spoiling. You said your grandmother spoils you a lot. Actually, many children enjoy being spoiled, but I sense a hint of complaint between the lines from you. It seems that your grandmother's spoiling has caused the current problems, but is it really the case? Is it true that not doing anything when you were young means you can't do anything when you grow up? I think it's not necessarily true. Third, after graduating, you can't do anything well unless someone guides you. In other words, you can do things when there is someone instructing you. This reminds me of Adler's \"teleology,\" which means that \"all human behavior has a purpose.\" Based on this theory, let's think about where the purpose of not being able to do things well lies. Based on the information given in the problem, I feel that the purpose of not being able to do things well is to want someone to guide you. Why is it like this? My understanding is \"compulsive repetition\" and \"unfinished events.\" In psychoanalysis theory, there is a concept called \"compulsive repetition,\" which means that people tend to unconsciously repeat traumatic experiences from early years. In psychology, there is a concept called \"unfinished business\" for what we call \"unfinished episodes.\" Simply put, the unfinished event that keeps haunting you, the one that you still can't let go of after many years, the one that happened long ago but still affects your decision-making and behavior, is your unfinished business. Fourth, my understanding of the whole situation is that the reason you can't do anything well now is to obtain someone's guidance, and you have always lacked guidance, especially when you were young. When we were children, what we wanted most was the guidance of our parents, but your parents were not with you, so you have never fulfilled the desire to receive guidance from your parents in your childhood. As a result, you continue to compulsively repeat the scenes from your early years in order to complete the unfinished business from back then. [Method Recommendations] Here are some suggestions for you: First, I suggest you find a counselor to talk to, preferably one with a background in psychoanalysis. Of course, if you are not ready yet, don't force yourself. Second, you can try meditation. There are many resources on meditation planets, both paid and free, which are good options for you to try. Third, you can write in a journal or write a letter to your younger self. Fourth, communicate with your parents and understand their thoughts back then. I hope my answer can help you. I wish everything will get better!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello- if things have been going smoothly, it's important to know that no one is naturally good at everything and has divine assistance. Perhaps you only see their surface success but don't see the effort and time they put into it behind the scenes. Maybe being excessively pampered by your grandmother has prevented you from having any experience in solving problems on your own from childhood to adulthood. This pattern may continue when you start working, but it's okay because it can be corrected. As long as you change your perspective, recognize the shortcomings in your approach that lead to difficulties, and make improvements to enhance and perfect yourself. If things are not going smoothly in your work, have you ever summarized the specific reasons? Have you thought about making some changes?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "No matter how old one is, as long as they have not learned or experienced something, it is all new to them, and they may encounter difficulties in the learning process. So don't think of it as an obstacle. As long as you want to change, even if you have to start from scratch, so what? People who have been overly indulged may lack education in responsibilities, gratitude, and social adaptation. So let's make up for it! At the age of 32, as long as you consciously learn these things, you can gain the courage to overcome difficulties. Give it a try. You can also try to find a counselor to understand why you were dismissed and identify your own shortcomings, and then make up for them.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, the topic owner. I saw your question. You described that you have been with your grandmother since childhood, while your parents took your younger brother to work outside. So, how do you feel and what do you think about your parents taking your younger brother and leaving you with your grandmother? You mentioned that your grandmother is somewhat overindulgent, not letting you do anything and still dressing you, even when you're eight or nine years old! At home, she doesn't let you do anything except study and play! From another perspective, it seems that in your grandmother's eyes, there are things that you may not be able to do well and can only rely on others' help. In her eyes, you will always be a child who never grows up. But after graduating, you started to enter society and face many difficulties and things you need to do on your own. They will no longer be able to take care of everything for you like your grandmother did. So your state now is that you don't know how to do things and can't do things well unless someone directs you, just like when your grandmother used to help you and give you instructions to do things. Actually, I can feel your grandmother's love and kindness towards you, but this kind of love is too intrusive and depriving. Children develop a sense of autonomy from the age of three. They want to do many things on their own that they are capable of doing. This is how their sense of competence develops. When they face many challenges in the future, they will believe in themselves. But if, during this time, they have many things done for them by others or have their efforts denied, then when they grow up, they will feel like they can't do anything well  and they won't dare to do things. I asked about your thoughts and feelings about your parents taking your younger brother away in the beginning because from a psychological perspective, children have a strong need for their parents. They might have only understood that your parents love your younger brother and not you when you were so young and they took your younger brother away and left you behind. This might have given you a strong sense of abandonment and made you think that you're not good enough, which would have accompanied you throughout your life. Of course, our analysis of these things is not meant to blame your grandmother and parents. After all, your grandmother only loved you in the way that she knew. And now that you have grown up and experienced some things, you also have started to think about the difficulties you are facing and want to make changes. We often say that awareness is the beginning of change. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. Good luck!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "When faced with a situation, you always subconsciously feel that there will always be someone to take care of you, like your grandma, and tell you what to do. But you must remember to tell yourself that you have grown up, become independent, and can do things on your own that you used to fear. Don't be afraid of getting hurt, and don't be afraid of falling down. Open your heart, have the courage to try and do things. How would you know your own strength if you don't give it a try? Wishing you well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 799
       },
       {
        "question": "Recently, I have become completely hopeless with my boyfriend, but he is persistently clinging onto me. What should I do?",
        "description": "I turned eighteen recently and started dating a boyfriend. However, he did some things that showed he doesn't pay attention to details and doesn't even know when I'm mad. When I checked his messages with girls, he agreed to their requests without hesitation and even tried to reason with them. He even took screenshots and sent them to me. One night, he couldn't understand my feelings and I cried all night. I have given up on him and no longer love him, but he keeps bothering me and won't let go. He wants to change, but I have realized that nothing he does impresses me anymore...",
        "keywords": "Behavior, anxiety, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Sending you warm hugs~ In your relationship dynamic, it seems like you need emotional comfort and validation. You are a detail-oriented person, but your boyfriend, on the other hand, is more careless and doesn't pay much attention to your sensitive thoughts. He loves you, but he has been loving you in his own way. Both of you are not accustomed to each other's methods, which may cause you to drift apart and ultimately lead to an unsatisfactory end to this relationship. If you no longer love him and want to end this relationship, it might be better to reject him more rationally when facing his persistence. You can express your thoughts and needs to him, but also mention that he has not fulfilled your emotional requirements, and it has come to an end. I hope he can live his life well, and being direct about your stance will be more effective than discussing emotions with him. If he continues to pursue you after you have made your rejection clear, you can choose to cut off contact with him. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21335
       },
       {
        "question": "When dating a boy two years younger, one always feels like taking a little brother out.",
        "description": "Hello everyone, I am dating a guy who is two years younger than me. I feel like I unintentionally criticize him for being immature. One day, KK bought a new bag and came to show me. When I saw his clothes and bag, I had an extreme aversion in my heart. I felt like he dressed like a little boy, while I was dressed professionally that day. It felt like I was going out with my little brother. I don't feel good about this internally, and I don't want to change his sense of fashion, but I do wish he could dress more maturely. Is there a better way to handle this?",
        "keywords": "Love, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello, it is necessary to clarify what you need in a relationship, to distinguish between your true feelings and the opinions from society and those around you. From your description, I can sense your internal conflict and dilemma. On one hand, you unintentionally care about the smallness and immaturity of the other person, and you may be concerned that when you go out, people around you or strangers may comment on it. On the other hand, you may also like the other person and believe that asking them to change their dress taste is not right. It can be seen that you are a rational person who does not have a desire to control the other person in a romantic relationship, but will consider the other person's feelings and not impose your own ideas on them, which is commendable. You can seriously think about why you were initially attracted to the other person. What are the qualities that you like about them? Maybe you initially considered the factor of age, but still chose to be together. This liking and attraction need to be valued. The other person is younger and naturally cannot compare to the charm of some mature men. His dress taste is a symbol of his own preferences and style. Just imagine, do you want the other person to dress more maturely so as not to be criticized by friends and others, or do you want the other person to be more psychologically mature, even if their dress taste is not that good? Is the reason you care about the other person's age because you feel they are young and don't have a certain economic foundation and competitive strength? Or are you afraid that people around you will know that you are dating a younger boyfriend? Is it about \"face\" or \"age\" that you care about? With inner confusion and dilemma, you can express yourself openly and honestly to your boyfriend. If he is willing to change, it may be because he loves you very much. If he cannot change, also respect his own growth trajectory. You can express your feelings and thoughts to your boyfriend, without hurting his self-esteem. For example, you can suggest that he tries some new dressing styles and see if he likes them or not. If he feels uncomfortable, also fully respect him. Regarding your concerns about his maturity, you can also communicate seriously. Express your worries and discomfort, such as fear of being ridiculed by colleagues and family, fear of not being firm enough, fear that your future does not have some security, etc. All of these can be talked about. If you want to seriously move forward together, these issues that you care about should not be hidden. Furthermore, encourage and support the other person to grow at their own pace. Since you both chose to be together and love each other, it is best not to force the other person to change for yourself. Although you may compromise and accommodate each other, you should not suppress your concerns and dissatisfaction. Appreciate each other's strengths and charms, as well as accept each other's shortcomings and things that cannot be obtained temporarily. Accompany each other's growth and withstand storms together. This may be the best emotional relationship. Good luck.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16503
       },
       {
        "question": "Bipolar disorder, haven't taken medication for two to three months, having nightmares and experiencing neurotic tinnitus, what should I do?",
        "description": "This June, my relationship with my parents became very tense and volatile. I have been receiving psychological therapy on a platform to improve and mediate our relationship. Before that, I used to go to the hospital and take medication on my own for 7 years. Yesterday, I sent them some information about bipolar disorder, hoping they would not scold me or pressure me to go on blind dates. I told them about the seriousness of my condition, including the fact that I may not be able to get married or have children, and that I may have to take medication for the rest of my life. Surprisingly, my parents only realized the severity of the situation now. Even when I had cried and told them before that I might not live past 30, they didn't react this strongly. Now they are crying and sending me messages on WeChat, asking why it has become so serious again. Weren't you getting treatment? Aren't you better now? Can we change hospitals? I originally thought they would get a taste of the pain I had endured before, and I felt a little happy about it. But last night, I had nightmares about being chased, and this afternoon my tinnitus started again, which scares me a lot. I hadn't experienced tinnitus for over a year, and I didn't expect their emotional reaction to trigger it again. I was too blindly confident. I've been consulting with a therapist for the past five months, and I thought my emotions had improved and stabilized, so I stopped going to the hospital and taking medication for about three to four months. Now I'm really anxious about this tinnitus, not knowing when it will return to normal.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, physical reactions, disease diagnosis, treatment methods.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Many parents do not understand bipolar disorder. In most cases, they think it is just a result of their child being too dramatic. After enlightening parents about the disorder, they feel an invisible pressure and realize the severity of the problem, although they are not aware of the length of time needed for treatment. Nonetheless, this is at least a good start. The family is beginning to accept it, and we can share some successful cases to let parents know that it is not incurable, but rather requires a relatively long time and enough patience. People are always a little afraid of the unknown, especially those with severe symptoms who may feel like leaving this world. Therefore, we should first adjust our own mindset. Parents recognizing the severity of the problem is a good start. We can then face and resolve the problem together with them, and also provide them with some treatment options. When necessary, we can have a psychological counseling session with parents, allowing them to experience it themselves. At the same time, we can also inform the counselor. I believe that with the company and support of family, we will definitely get better. The ringing in the ears may be caused by other factors. We can go to the hospital for an examination to determine the cause and then prescribe the appropriate treatment. The world loves you and so do I.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP. I understand that when you were explaining your condition to your parents, you made it sound quite serious. On one hand, this caused your parents to pay attention and made you feel cared for, but on the other hand, you were also affected by their intense emotions, resulting in negative experiences such as nightmares and tinnitus. I am glad that you have been persisting in receiving psychological counseling and experiencing some improvement. It has been over a year since you last experienced tinnitus, but it reappeared after communicating with your parents, which has been distressing for you. Reflecting back, what happened during the period when the tinnitus improved and disappeared? Was it because your emotions and life situation were relatively stable? Perhaps there is some correlation with suddenly being immersed in these negative emotions again. Of course, it is also necessary to go to the hospital for some relevant examinations to rule out any organic lesions causing the tinnitus, but since you have had successful experiences in overcoming it before, there is no need to panic too much; have confidence in yourself. Furthermore, you need to consciously control yourself within a positive environment, avoid excessive exposure to negative emotions, and not deliberately create a negative atmosphere. You can try mindfulness meditation and running exercise to alleviate and release emotions. At the same time, since you have received your parents' attention, it is also important to reconcile with them and communicate with them calmly, expressing your true needs. In this situation, they will surely support and understand you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3663
       },
       {
        "question": "Love has been on and off for three years, and although I love the other person very much, I feel exhausted and want to escape.",
        "description": "I really feel that if I'm not with this person, I'll be living alone, and I feel like I won't find anyone else who makes me feel the urge to get married (PS: we have been in love many times). He also said the same. I don't know if it's because of the long-distance relationship, but I feel like he can live without me. I have the desire to tell him about the big and small things in my life, but he doesn't. Sometimes when I chat with him, I feel like he's just appeasing me, and he seems to be happy living his own life, as if he doesn't need me. And I've always wanted to end the long-distance relationship, and I've been wanting to get married, but I know that my current life situation is not suitable. But I always have this feeling that even if everything in my life is financially and emotionally stable, he would still hesitate to get married. I want to stay overseas, but I don't know what his plans are. It's like I can't see the future, and on top of that, the longer we talk, it seems like I don't have to do anything special for him, and now I just feel so exhausted from talking. I always feel like running away. But when we're apart, I really miss him.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear questioner, hello. Getting married is a courageous decision. The longer the relationship, the less eager one may feel about getting married. Each person strives to adapt to their environment and ultimately live in the most comfortable way possible. Getting married inevitably brings about significant changes. The couple needs to decide on a consistent location for their life together and synchronize their lifestyles. This can be a challenging task for a couple who has been in a long-distance relationship. It is understandable that both of you may have doubts about marriage. As you mentioned, you feel that your current life situation is still satisfactory. If you choose to get married, you will need to end the long-distance aspect of your relationship. Either you will have to return to your home country, or he will have to come to your country. Is this an issue that can be reconciled? It seems that neither of you have fully considered or prepared for marriage. That's alright, don't rush to a conclusion. Can you carefully consider it? Marriage is something that should come naturally when two people who love each other want to establish a family; it is not something to force or settle for. There are some things that may not be decided upon now, but there will always be a day when a decision can be made. I hope you will carefully think about it. In many cases, maintaining the status quo is not due to love, but rather due to habit. Therefore, we must distinguish between love and habit. Differentiate between subjective choices, instead of passively giving up on making a choice. I wish you happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, really good entanglement? From the description of the question master, my feeling is that we are in a long-distance relationship, and I feel that he doesn't love me so much. The idea of getting married is our own, and breaking up seems like there won't be a person I want to marry. What should I do? I don't know if my feelings are correct or not. Whether they are correct or not, I want to say that there is seemingly no need to feel inferior in a relationship, and not only in relationships, but also in other aspects of life, you should have confidence. \u25a0 Inferiority is the killer of love. Once you love someone and develop a sense of inferiority, you will break up sooner or later! Emotional advice: When you have a sense of inferiority in love, it is the most powerless time. Inferiority will not only affect your mood, but also your actions. If you can change your state of inferiority through your efforts, that's fine. If you feel inferior and can't see a way out, you will be crushed by your inferiority sooner or later. Faced with the love that you want to support but can't, you will unconsciously want to escape, to let go. Once you have a sense of inferiority in love, you will be tied up and unable to satisfy yourself no matter what you do, even if the other party says nothing, that sense of inferiority will not disappear. There is no way, if you insist on pursuing a love that you can't support, the ending can only be a tragedy. The sense of inferiority in love can only be digested by you, don't expect your lover to comfort you or consider you. It is even more wrong to be angry with your partner because of your own inferiority. It is your own incompetence, you don't have the ability to love her and yet you get angry at her, that is accelerating the death of love. If you feel too inferior, then give yourself a way out and stop clinging to a love that you can't support. You should know that when your condition cannot be improved in a short period of time, even if you cling to a love that you can't support, you will eventually break up because your change cannot keep up with the other person's pace and you will always live in inferiority. What I want to say is, \"Love is not just about maintaining a romantic relationship, it needs to be managed with emotions, financial resources, and material resources. None of them can be lacking. If you feel inferior because you don't have the ability to support love, then you can only let go.\" \u25a0 Live your own life, live brilliantly, love yourself well, and only then will the people who love you love you more.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Now he is the one who has the urge to get married for you. You have broken up and reconciled many times, and must have experienced a lot. What were the reasons for the on-and-off relationship? What are the similarities and differences? I don't know how long you have been in a long-distance relationship? I don't know how old you are now. It feels like he can live without you in his life, but you hope to be more involved in his life, to understand him and to be a part of it. Because of the distance, there aren't many ways for you to participate in and understand his life. The way you're used to is telling him about the big and small things in your life, but it seems like he's not used to this way. When you chat with him, sometimes you feel like he's just going through the motions, as if he can live happily without you. (When do you feel like he's just going through the motions? When do you feel like he can live happily without you? Have you expressed this to him?) And I've always wanted to end the long-distance relationship, and I've always wanted to push for marriage, but I know that my current life situation is not suitable. (I really want to be closer to him, but there are some reasons that prevent you. This makes you very conflicted) But I always have a feeling that even if everything is financially and situationally suitable right now, he would still hesitate about marriage. (It seems like it's about financial situation, but at the same time, you feel like it's not just about financial situation. It seems like you need him to express some determination and do some firm things, so that you can dare to take the plunge.) I want to stay overseas, but I don't know about his plans. (You feel like you can't figure out his thoughts, and you also feel unsure.) It's like I can't see the future, and on top of that, it seems like there's no need to put in effort in the relationship anymore. It feels exhausting to keep talking about it. I always feel like running away. But when we're apart, I really miss him. (It can be really tiring like this, wanting to get closer but not being able to, wanting to break up but not being willing to let go. It seems like the source of it all lies with him, but do you think there might be other reasons?)",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "From your description, it seems that your current emotional state is a bit tired, and you don't know if you can continue to get along in the future. There is doubt in your heart, and the long-distance factor also lacks a sense of security. You always feel that this relationship is not very suitable. We have known each other for three years and have plans to get married, but you also worry that he may not agree or still hesitate about the future. It can be seen that you still really like him, but you also have some worries about the future. It is suggested that you communicate with him about these issues and see what plans you both have for the future, whether to stay abroad or return to your home country. Both parties need to handle this issue well because long-distance relationships are most afraid of having different goals and differences in opinions. If this problem can be resolved, the probability of being together will increase. In addition, you can consider the issue of future life and goals, how to plan and what the future holds for both of you. Matters of the heart are complicated, involving not only emotional factors but also the realities of the situation, which need to be faced together. If both parties can handle the practical difficulties and have no major problems with a unanimous opinion, then the probability of being together in the future is very high. Relationships are not easy, and it will be difficult to be apart. If it is possible to be together, try to be together.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there, reading your words, I sense a contradictory entanglement. On one hand, you have an urge for \"marriage\" with him, but on the other hand, you feel that he is \"neglecting\" you in terms of emotional life, making you feel insecure and unable to see a future. First, let me give you a warm hug (\u3065\u25cf\u2500\u25cf)\u3065 Based on my personal experience, your dissatisfaction with your boyfriend and the inevitable \"contradiction\" could be related to some subconscious \"complex\" or \"shadow\" concerning intimate relationships that has not been resolved. Moreover, when you say \"both of us have had many relationships\", and \"the other party has said the same\", it indicates that both you and him have encountered similar issues regarding intimate relationships. The fact that you two have come together suggests a high level of similarity in your \"vibrational frequencies\" and have therefore \"resonated\" with each other. So, before delving deeper into analyzing your problem, could you please tell me a bit about your and his upbringing? Of course, if it involves your personal privacy, I will respect your wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Looks like you not only have a long-distance relationship, but it seems like it's an international one. Are you both in different cities abroad, or is one of you in a different country? Three years may seem long or short for a relationship. Your conflicting emotions suggest that you are uncertain and insecure about this kind of relationship. You can schedule a time to talk to him about your future and understand each other's thoughts, and find a mutually acceptable way forward.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading the OP\u2019s confession, I deeply understand their current situation. I want to bring you warmth like the sun. Here is my analysis: 1. It is clear that you truly love him. You are a good girl. Just like in relationships, good people are always easily hurt. So in the end, they always end up being taken advantage of. Girls are the same way. You care too much about him, and when you care too much, he stops caring about you. 2. Long-distance relationships never have good outcomes. So it is correct that you want to end the long-distance situation. You have been through a lot, so you don't want to give up on this relationship easily. But in love, if you want to keep someone's heart, you need to have a strategy. 3. If you love him, you should torture him. You have to torture him to the point of suffering, and then he will love you with all his heart. How should you torture him? Improve your own charm, this is the best way to torture him. Make your life exciting, make friends, cultivate hobbies, work or study well, and make yourself more outstanding. These are all the best ways to torture him. Thank you for your question, may all the beauty in the world come to you as scheduled.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19496
       },
       {
        "question": "Marriage problems have been going on for a long time but I don't dare to get a divorce, what should I do?",
        "description": "I have encountered an issue in my marriage that I cannot repair after infidelity, and divorce may be imminent. The person involved is my husband. I believed that there was no hope left in our marriage before deciding to have an affair, but even after trying, we are unable to mend the deep-seated mistrust in our hearts. When it comes to actually getting a divorce, I am afraid of losing the current state of my life and fearful of going through with it. This back-and-forth is causing me a lot of discomfort. I hope to understand my feelings better and determine how I truly view marriage - whether I want to continue or leave - and what exactly I am afraid of.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, divorce, infidelity, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "If marriage is a form of protection, everything else is uncertain. No matter what kind of marriage, even a seemingly perfect match in the eyes of others, there will always be unsatisfactory aspects. It's just that marriage is sacred, and most people choose to compromise and separate only when they have no other choice. There is a world of difference between being led astray unintentionally and doing so intentionally. You said you came prepared, but now you hesitate, which indicates that you are uncertain about your own choices. There is a saying for scolding others that you must be familiar with: \"Can't make up your mind?!\" Indeed, many times we are unclear about our wants and needs. Like a fallen autumn leaf, helplessly unaware of where it is drifting; like a boat in the vast ocean, unable to see the shore... To address this uncertainty, we need to take on the responsibility. Taking on responsibility will allow us to drive carefully and choose our direction wisely. We cannot be impulsive like during the Singles' Day shopping spree, only to end up broke the next month. Regardless of the choice we make, it is only when we willingly accept it that we can avoid being lost. Wanting everything will lead to losing our way.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2562
       },
       {
        "question": "I am still a high school student, but I am completely overwhelmed by the current life.",
        "description": "I'm sorry to bother you. I am a 16-year-old boy in a boarding school. I feel like I am an unnecessary person in front of my classmates and relatives. I used to think I was lively, but as I grew up, I realized that it wasn't being lively, but being annoying and foolish. I have tried everything to make friends, pretending to be feminine, trying to make others laugh. When I took money to find these so-called \"friends,\" they would accept me warmly, but when I had no money, they would say, \"Get lost, idiot.\" I don't know why they do this. Now, I can no longer be brave. Despite being 6'3\" tall, I am being bullied by people shorter than 5'7\". Although I am still a student, I feel completely defeated by the current life. The rejection from classmates, the insults from teachers, the lack of understanding from my parents, what should I do? Sorry for the disturbance.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, stress management, student growth.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! You are a polite and well-behaved child. From your description, I can see that you actively attribute things to yourself and try to do them positively, but it doesn't work, which makes you very frustrated. First of all, in order to please your friends, you have used the wrong methods, thinking that you can maintain relationships through money or demeaning yourself. In fact, you haven't figured out what genuine friendship is and how to maintain it. True friendship doesn't need to be maintained in this way. During your student stage, the friendship between you should be free from financial interests and more about the need for companionship. You are all consumers, and there is no need for economic transactions. You cannot rely on money to maintain it. If you demean yourself, it will only make your friends look down on you even more and distance themselves from you. What you can offer is genuine understanding and mutual care, progress together in studies, and help each other in life. Secondly, you are currently in adolescence, a period of transition from adolescence to adulthood, with rapid physical and psychological changes, which can leave many people at a loss. If not properly guided, it is easy to experience psychological problems, with feeling of not being understood being a key issue. Considering your current situation, if possible, it would be best to talk to your teacher or communicate with the school's counseling teacher. They can give you the most direct and effective advice. Finally, you need to re-examine yourself, try to introspect, and re-evaluate yourself, establishing correct self-awareness. Try to analyze your strengths and weaknesses, the roles you played in the things that happened, what you did well, and what needs improvement, etc. By introspecting for a few minutes every day, over time, you will feel growth. I hope the above suggestions can help you get rid of useless things and focus on studying. Being full of sunshine and confidence is what you should possess. Keep up the good work!\uff3e\uff10\uff3e~!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11940
       },
       {
        "question": "My son needs counseling from a mental health teacher, but the teacher feels too tired from work and doesn't want to put in effort.",
        "description": "The company is organizing an event and wants employees to arrive early to the factory. However, my son doesn't want to go early and thinks he should arrive at the scheduled work time. When I talked to him about this, he got angry and said he would rather die than work here. He said if he can't make it, he would rather die. As a father, I am extremely worried and don't know how to deal with him. Whenever there is an argument with family members, he runs away from home.",
        "keywords": "Family, growth process, communication with children",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "How old is your son? How long has he been working? Since he's working, I assume he's an adult now. Why does he still need you, his father, to worry about him? Is it because you \"think\" he can't live his life well, or does he really need you to take care of him? Considering he's already working, he should have the ability to take care of himself. From what you've described, it seems like you're more anxious about your son not working than he is. It's as if it's your own problem. You're worrying for him and taking care of everything for him, so of course he doesn't need to \"worry\" anymore. \"Rather die than work here, I'll live if I can, die if I can't.\" I wonder where your son's resentment comes from. Generally speaking, he chose his job and his life, they were his own choices. If they're not suitable, he can choose again, there's no need to threaten himself or others with death. Who is your son challenging with this behavior? Who took away his right and freedom to choose his job and life? I suggest you shift your focus from your son to yourself. Live your life well, be a role model for your son, and show him that dad is amazing. At the same time, give your son a chance to prove himself and show what he can do.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4821
       },
       {
        "question": "After giving birth, the temper becomes increasingly irritable, and there is also some sexual frigidity. What is the matter?",
        "description": "After having a baby, my temper has become increasingly irritable, and I also feel somewhat frigid. I find everything annoying and easily become angry.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, prenatal and postnatal, sexual life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "#After giving birth, my temper becomes more and more irritable, and I also feel somewhat frigid. Everything seems frustrating and I easily get angry. #The information provided is too little, so the following is only speculation. 1. You have needs that are not being met, and expressing them directly doesn't get others' attention. So, you express your needs by getting angry to let the people around you know that you need to be valued. 2. Feeling frigid indicates that your recent state of mind is not good, and your husband has almost not noticed your state and asked you about it. By being frigid, you are telling him that your relationship has deteriorated to the point where you don't even want to have sexual activity. The change in the family structure after giving birth can make many familiar aspects of life unfamiliar, making it difficult for new mothers to adjust. If at this time, the husband doesn't perceive and timely attend to the needs of the wife, and provide sufficient psychological support, the wife will resort to expressing herself in a terribly unfavorable state, indicating \"I have needs, I need to communicate with you all.\" This is a way of engaging in a passive conversation. So, what situations at home after giving birth have made you feel so irritable? If you would like to talk about it, you can continue to leave a message.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "As a woman who has had similar experiences, I will try to share my understanding: irritability comes from a sense of powerlessness towards reality. Having children makes life busier and more chaotic, with the responsibilities of work, family, and children. There are too many things that need to be done, and you as one person don't have enough strength or ability to handle it all. Secondly, there is a lack of fulfillment. Your husband, who is closest to you, may not provide the support and care you desire. Disappointment in these areas can lead to frustration. Therefore, a lack of interest in sex, as you mentioned, is a natural outcome. Women value love first, and then the desire for physical intimacy arises. So don't label yourself too easily. Just think about what has happened to you. Start by taking care of yourself and learn to delegate tasks that you are unable to handle yourself. After all, what is more important than yourself? If you want others to value you, you must start by valuing yourself and taking care of your physical and mental well-being. Secondly, from your attitude towards your husband, it is clear that you are dissatisfied with him. So what do you want him to do? Have you communicated your needs to him? How have you expressed them? Has he not listened to you? Why? Hu Shin Chi once said, \"Any relationship is the result of collaboration by both parties.\" When you are irritable and dissatisfied with your relationship, think about what role you have played. Have you been maintaining or damaging the relationship? I just saw a saying: change begins with the person who wants to change! So you can't change your husband, you can only change yourself. Therefore, start with yourself, change what you can, and perhaps your husband will be influenced by your changes. In conclusion: learn self-care! Learn to express your needs! Learn to change yourself!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6019
       },
       {
        "question": "I am always afraid of other people being indifferent towards me. How can I become more confident?",
        "description": "I was a bit introverted when I was young, but it didn't affect my life. Later in fifth grade, I developed alopecia areata and lost all my hair, becoming an outcast in class. From then until junior high school graduation, I was constantly bullied in class. In high school, the classmates around me became more mature, and the situation improved a lot. However, there was still psychological bullying. I remember in my senior year, my best friend suddenly became cold towards me because he found out that I was trying to \"quit masturbation\" (I was confused at the time and deeply believed in the \"quitting masturbation\" theory I found online). Since then, I have been very concerned about what others think of me. I feel extremely frustrated when he treats me bad, and it feels like my brain is going to explode. Normally, I don't get angry with others because I'm afraid they will ignore me in the future, and I rarely refuse others' requests. I'm really distressed. How did I become like this? Now I'm in my sophomore year, and a few days ago, my next-door roommate suddenly became cold towards me, but in fact, he is still nice to me. But I always worry that he will ignore me and constantly seek confirmation. It's so tiring. I keep telling myself that I'm overthinking and need to be more confident, but it still feels uncomfortable. Is there something wrong with me psychologically? What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Author, hello. First of all, your description reminds me of the famous \"Scar Experiment\" in psychology. It tells the story of psychologists inviting makeup artists to draw blood and scars on the faces of 10 participants, and then letting them look in the mirror, remembering their terrifying appearance. Then, they took the mirrors away and told the participants that the makeup artists would add some powder to make the scars look more realistic and last longer. In reality, the makeup artists quietly wiped off the scars and bloodstains drawn on their faces with cotton swabs. Afterwards, the participants were taken to the hospital and dressed up as patients, pretending to wait for their turn, to observe and experience people's reactions. After the experiment, the participants described their feelings, and surprisingly, they all agreed that others showed disgust and lacked kindness towards their scarred selves, and their eyes were constantly fixed on their scars. Did you notice? It turns out that people's perceptions about themselves can profoundly affect and change their perceptions of the outside world. Sometimes, because of the \"scar in their hearts\", they perceive others in a completely different way than before. So, is it possible that for you, the \"scars\" from fifth grade have been retained all this time, making you extremely sensitive to people's reactions and labeling certain unintentional words and actions from others as \"indifference,\" which are then repeatedly \"confirmed\" in your interactions, and then you truly face a \"cold\" world? As for what to do, you can try to keep some distance from the feeling of being \"rejected and ignored,\" and become aware that others' reactions and the meanings they convey may differ from what you think. Awareness is paramount; once you have awareness, there is room to do something different and bring about change.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6227
       },
       {
        "question": "31 years old, without money, how to continue a love that cannot progress?",
        "description": "Me and my partner are both 31, and we are considered as young adults in our thirties. I've only known him for less than a year, and we met online. I chose him because I believe he is kind, responsible, ambitious, and upright. We have been together for about ten months now, and there have been many difficulties. First, his family is very poor, with three brothers, and they are from a remote area in Northwest China. They rely solely on themselves for support, as his parents have no money. He managed to buy a house on his own, but the mortgage and credit loans amount to nearly 20,000 RMB per month, and I have to support him, which has significantly affected my quality of life. Not only do I have to contribute to the mortgage every month, but I also have to support him financially. However, I have never criticized him for that, and my parents have not mentioned the issue of dowry either, which could be waived if necessary, as we both don't want to hurt his self-esteem. Second, he lied about his educational background. Initially, he told me he was a graduate student, but later revealed that he wasn't. When I asked for proof of his education, he absolutely refused to show me any, and he continued to brush it off. I am very angry because I feel deceived by him. I have a master's degree from a prestigious university in China, so I initially had certain requirements regarding education. I hoped my partner would at least have a bachelor's degree, if not a master's. Third, we have had some small conflicts during the adjustment period, and I feel that we are not on the same wavelength. I can't bear to break up with him.",
        "keywords": "Marriage, before marriage.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Love is ideal, marriage is reality. Both of you are already over 30, and it can also be said that your relationship is aimed at marriage. Marriage and family are things that everyone needs to face. Whether the marriage is happy, the family is stable, including whether the children will have a healthy and happy living environment in the future, and whether the parents will have a relatively happy old age, these are all issues that we need to consider. Marriage is like a woman's rebirth, don't you already have the answer in your heart? [He is kind, responsible, and ambitious, and a person of integrity.] He is seen as a potential stock by many parents. This kind of boyfriend can be said to be one in a hundred, but for marriage, these conditions alone are not enough. The foundation of marriage should be love. Although everyone has different understandings and pursuits of love, some people pursue pure and irrational passionate love, and some people pursue rational and long-lasting love. However, once we enter the realm of daily life, we have to consider very practical issues. Even if we know that two people who are similar in every way, even if they are twins, will still have differences, so we need to seek common ground while reserving differences. But if we find that two people have major differences in values and outlook on life, then we must take it seriously and not compromise. After all, once we add other social relationships, it is difficult to \"detach ourselves.\" You have listed three difficulties. The first and second difficulties may be the reason why he deceived you (which can be understood). If we return to reality, the two of you are not a good match. [He\u2014has three brothers, comes from the northwest, and his family is very poor, so he can only rely on himself; You\u2014come from a relatively good family, and you can feel it from the fact that your parents don't mention dowry money.] He- bought the house by himself (which deserves praise), and the monthly mortgage and credit loans amount to nearly 20,000 yuan (the credit loan should not exceed three years, I don't know how much the mortgage is). You-have to pay the mortgage together with him and still support his livelihood, which seriously affects your quality of life. (In other words, his income is not enough to pay the mortgage. If the house was purchased before the relationship was confirmed, and there were no special circumstances in between, it is indeed a bit unrealistic. This is also a slight flaw in his personality. If it was purchased after the relationship was confirmed, then you really need to assess yourself). Although marriage is not purely materialistic, our attitude towards money also reflects our attitude towards things. [Not a soulmate]- just because of this, you have to be careful about whether to enter marriage in this relationship. Because rational love is a process of choice, seeking common ground while reserving differences, and discovering major differences that cannot be compromised. We will find that many couples, after discovering differences, feel that they have had a long time of relationship, have feelings, are reluctant to let go, or can't bear the other party's sincere pursuit, or because of external pressure, etc., often tend to cover up differences emotionally, and even try to maintain the relationship by getting married quickly. It will be difficult to repair the relationship if it encounters a crisis in the future. Girl, since you have your own ideas, why not communicate openly with your boyfriend, regardless of whether you choose to get married or not, these issues need to be discussed. The union of two people is also the union of two families. Before marriage, the relationship between the two parties is limited to emotions, but after marriage, not only do you have to deal with various practical problems, but it will also increase many social relationships, and it is more likely to cause family conflicts. A person's age can be divided into: social age, mental age, and genetic age. The country requires women to register for marriage no earlier than 20 years of age in terms of social age. Therefore, at 31 years old, if you think getting married is early, then you are not considered a late bloomer. If you think it's time to get married, then it's not too late. So, here are a few suggestions: \u2460 Reflect on yourself and find out what you really want in this relationship. What are your future plans? \u2461 Communicate with your boyfriend about your true feelings, including the series of feelings he has given you, but do not be emotional, see if your boyfriend can calmly understand you. \u2462 In matters of marriage, understand the attitudes of each other's parents towards your relationship. Life is short, I think you have your own pursuits, so it's not a bad idea to first focus on your inner self and feel your own feelings. No matter what choice you make, it is still a choice. No matter what kind of choice you make, it is the best choice you subconsciously believe is best for yourself. Best of luck to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Based on your description, I feel like you are considering him as a potential marriage partner and have plans to get married. However, his financial situation and other practical factors don't meet your requirements, so you feel torn and uncertain about whether to continue with him or not, right? His family's conditions are poor, and he relies on his own hard work, but he also has to bear a large mortgage. In order to support him, you've decided to share the burden of the mortgage, but it has caused a decline in your quality of life. It's not easy for him to be able to buy a house through his own efforts in such a difficult family situation, which indicates a certain level of capability. If he is ambitious, willing to continue striving and has a promising career, then I believe the current difficulties and pressures are only temporary, and the future will bring improvements in your life. So it depends on how well you know and understand him, and whether you're willing to give him some time and persevere through this tough period. However, I need to remind you that from the perspective of protecting your own rights, you haven't officially registered for marriage yet, but you're sharing the burden of the mortgage. If in the future you don't get married and instead break up, the house belongs to him, and the mortgage payments you made won't be returned to you, causing you certain financial losses. If you're willing to make these sacrifices without expecting anything in return, then there won't be a problem. It seems you're kind and gentle, caring for him, but the fact that you're here questioning this issue shows that your quality of life has been affected. You're even hesitant to directly address issues involving money, such as the bride price, which indicates that you do have concerns about this aspect, and also reflects his sensitivity and inferiority complex when it comes to money, which has had an impact on your relationship. This is a very realistic problem. His mindset is a result of long-term accumulation influenced by his upbringing, and it's difficult to change overnight, so you need to face and acknowledge this. When two people come together to build a family and live together, in addition to sharing the same life values and outlook, money attitudes are also important. How both sides view and plan for wealth, and whether there are any differences, will all impact family life and marital relationships, so it's something that needs to be understood and prepared for in advance. Regarding his current state and the impact on you, you need to be mentally prepared. If you're willing to accept the situation, it may continue for a while. As for the issue of education, his deception may stem from various psychological reasons. It's possible that he feels inferior compared to you in terms of education, or he wants to develop a good love relationship with you and knows that your expectations are high, so he decided to keep it a secret. If it's not done out of ill intentions, I think his behavior can still be understood. After all, educational background doesn't completely represent a person's character, abilities, and future prospects; it requires a comprehensive evaluation. As for the small conflicts that arise during your adjustment period, in love, conflicts and friction are common. Two people rarely have a perfect fit right from the start; they need to go through an adjustment process, seeking common ground while respecting differences, and having a mindset of tolerance, understanding, and trust. The most crucial aspect is whether both of you can reach a consensus on values, have shared life goals, and are willing to strive for them. \nYou mentioned that you feel like you're not deeply connected on an emotional level, but I'm not sure what exactly you mean by that. Could there be misunderstandings due to communication issues? You can try to engage in more sincere communication to clear up any misunderstandings. Marriage is a major decision in life and requires careful consideration. Love and marriage are like shoes, only you know whether they fit or not. You need to think and weigh it for yourself; others can only offer advice from different perspectives and cannot make the decision for you. If you already have an answer in your heart, then you don't need anyone else's support, and you can make a decision that suits you. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Education is a common concern for many people. You are doing well, and your family doesn't care about your background. Having a master's degree is intimidating for many people. If someone tells you about their education during the first conversation, you might just pass them by. Underneath the lies lies self-esteem, a reluctance to give up, and a fear of loss. The gap cannot be filled, but they want to be closer to you and worry about what others might say. If everything else is compatible, education, background, appearance, and so on, are not issues. However, facing difficulties together may be more challenging.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16389
       },
       {
        "question": "Finally in the industry that I like, but I always hesitate to speak and lack confidence.",
        "description": "I previously worked in a paid position doing odd jobs. I used my spare time to review and finally passed the professional title examination to work in a pharmacy. However, I always feel inferior to others and hesitate to speak up. I feel anxious and lacking in confidence because I have never done this before. I'm not afraid of hard work, but I suffer from various kinds of apprehension.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, work pressure.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know if your job requires you to talk a lot. If not, then simply focus on doing your job well and accumulating relevant experience. Many successful people are not particularly talkative. Each personality has its own strengths and suitable jobs. However, if you believe that \"speaking up\" is an important aspect of life, then you should exercise your proactive expression and cultivate the ability to speak up. Don't mind success or failure, persistently take small steps and gradually become more natural at it. Actually, often the qualities that people admire are usually hidden aspects of their own potential personality, which may have been concealed due to certain childhood experiences or upbringing. However, through self-breakthroughs, they can also be freed.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP, congratulations on passing the big pharmacy exam through your own efforts and persistence. You should be happy and proud, and you should have confidence because your hard work has paid off. It is evident that you are a person who can endure hardship, as you mentioned that you are not afraid of being tired. There is no need to be timid all the time, because everyone is the same. You are not inferior to anyone else, you have to believe that you are the best. Believe that your efforts will definitely be rewarded. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Seeking external attention, even if the goal is achieved, will still feel empty. If you truly believe it is important, you can experience it first. A better approach is to explore your talents and strengths to see what suits you best and immerse yourself in things you enjoy. This will bring you fulfillment, happiness, and enjoyment. Compared to experiencing this, the joy of being noticed usually feels much less significant. Of course, if you have that unresolved longing, it may be worth pursuing attention until you become tired of it.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20761
       },
       {
        "question": "I don't want to live in the dormitory in high school. I'm afraid of feeling helpless and not being able to separate myself from the outside world without my phone.",
        "description": "Since junior high school, I have been very afraid of going to school. Whenever I am at school or think about going to school, I feel uncomfortable. I miss home a lot when I am at school, and when I return home, I feel unhappy and uncomfortable too. I don't want to speak, I just want to cry. I feel unsafe, mentally drained, heavy-hearted, and depressed. Everything feels dark, and I don't know how to describe that feeling. I really want to die and can't go on living. I feel uncomfortable in my heart every day, except for a few moments when I suddenly feel a little better for a few minutes, and then the discomfort returns.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, depressive emotions, anxious emotions, emotion regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "The pace of growth cannot be stopped, and your problem lies in your strong dependence. You need to take the initiative to take an independent step. From the perspective of someone like me, being a boarding student is probably the happiest thing. You don't have to face constant nagging at home, nor do you have to deal with the trivialities of life. You can focus on studying, writing, and doing things you want to do at school. Having a cellphone is just for gaming and such, and it is not very useful. But everyone needs to step out of their comfort zone, and I am no exception. The pace of growth cannot be stopped.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The poster may have started their boarding school life early. Perhaps they were initially reluctant, but their parents might have wanted them to focus on their studies, their own busy work schedules, or to encourage their independence. In this situation, we were not mentally prepared and left home early. Or we may have tried to voice our thoughts but were dismissed by our parents, resulting in less communication over time. We encounter difficulties and problems that we cannot solve ourselves, and we are unable to release and express ourselves timely, which leads to excessive psychological pressure. We develop a resistance towards school, and when we return home, we do not know how to express ourselves. In this new environment, we are always used to wrapping ourselves up.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11161
       },
       {
        "question": "A second-year middle school student, his mother at home is very strict about his studies, would she beat him up if he doesn't listen?",
        "description": "My mother is very strict. I want to learn music, painting, and playing games, but she doesn't allow me to do so. Moreover, my mother feels that I am hopeless and not focused on my studies. She checks my phone records and phone bills every day, and doesn't let me call or message anyone. She even hits me when she closes the door. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Family, communication with parents, family control.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "On the day I received the college acceptance letter, I told my dad that I really don't like going to school. I've been studying for so long, and now I have to continue. My dad said it's because I'm not brave enough. If I give up and stop studying, no one can force me. After all, I am my own person and it's up to me how I live in the future. I guess it's true. I always worry that learning dance will cost a lot of money. What if my dad doesn't provide it? I would have to work outside and be tired every day. Will I still have time to practice dance? Can I persevere? I think about a lot of things and end up procrastinating. Then I went to college, and it's not as good as before to learn dance. If you have figured out the problems you will face, make a decision early. Or take advantage of the long summer vacation to go out and gain some experience. You will consider it more thoroughly.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I am much older than you and have also experienced such situations. Now I'm telling you, this is not good. It's easy to develop low self-esteem as you grow up. It's easy to have interpersonal problems. Baby, that's what I call you. Don't mind it. You can try talking to your mom, but with her strong personality, there may need to be some prerequisites, such as how many points you can get in a certain subject or how many places you can move up in ranking. Of course, if you are afraid to speak up, you can find someone you are not afraid of to persuade your mom and discuss conditions. Baby, your mom loves you, maybe her way is not right. But her love for you is genuine, so you can try negotiating. Besides, students are in the learning stage, so they should still focus on studying. If your grades are not very good, you can try focusing on improving one subject, take it slow and gradually improve. Actually, after you start working, you will find that having a certain skill is quite important. If you don't have a degree by then, finding a job and surviving will be difficult. So young one, keep up the good work!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 18441
       },
       {
        "question": "Why do male teachers get nervous and blush when they come near themselves?",
        "description": "My male teacher is my geography teacher for this semester. He looks good and is gentle. He doesn't scold or treat people harshly. He is a typical kind-hearted man. On the first day when the teacher came to class, I felt scared. But slowly, I found that he is not strict at all and very gentle. I started to develop a little bit of liking towards this teacher. He is very active in class, and I really like this kind of teacher. At the beginning, the teacher didn't notice my presence. I didn't feel nervous at all during class. Then, in one class, the teacher noticed me. Since then, I was almost always called upon to answer questions in class. I didn't think much of it, but one time, when the teacher called me to answer a question, I was in a bad mood and got angry. The teacher thought I was unwilling to answer the question. After that, the teacher never called on me to answer questions again. But every time the teacher comes close to me, I get nervous and my face turns red. What's wrong with me?",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, guilt and shame.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Excuse me, are you a boy or a girl? How old are you? Why is there no punctuation throughout the text? Did you feel nervous and a little shy while writing this paragraph? It is normal for us to find someone or a certain type of person attractive because certain qualities of that person may attract us and make us feel that they are wonderful or remind us of someone who was once wonderful. In this text, sometimes you hope that your teacher can understand your needs and emotions. This situation may be achievable when you are very young with your family, but as you grow older, it may be difficult for the people around you to provide the same care and understanding as your family. Therefore, your internal thoughts need to be known and expressed by the other party. No matter what kind of emotions you experience, please remember to respect the other person and protect yourself. Interactions between people require time to understand, and involve many aspects. You can also try to further explore them. Emotions have no right or wrong, but actions should have limits. Mutual respect is important. Take good care of the person who brings you positive feelings, but more importantly, take good care of yourself because no matter what, you are the most precious. Best wishes~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21418
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel like I'm really bad at speaking and I'm afraid of being disliked by others. How can I change this?",
        "description": "16-year-old girl, my parents have always been saying that I speak without thinking, especially silly, saying whatever comes to mind. But I just can't develop the habit of thinking things over. My friends also say that I don't know how to control myself, and I'm really afraid of being disliked by others. How can I change? Thank you.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, character traits, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello classmate, based on your description, I feel like you are a very straightforward person. Actually, straightforward people can be quite adorable sometimes. However, if our words hurt others, it may be necessary to make some appropriate changes. When expressing our opinions to others, it is best to consider their feelings. If you want to give praise, you can say it directly, but when it comes to criticism and reproach, it's better to use a more tactful approach. Especially when dealing with important people in our lives, we may unconsciously speak without reservation because we know deep down that they won't leave. However, constantly pointing out the other person's flaws can actually push them further away. We say that relationships require us to put in effort to maintain them. I suggest that before expressing our feelings and opinions, we take a few seconds to think and consider whether the way we say it will make the other person unhappy, and if there might be another way to express ourselves. Before going to bed each day, we can also reflect on whether we have been too straightforward, and try to think from the other person's perspective - how would we feel if we heard those words ourselves? When someone directly points out that our words have hurt them, we can appropriately apologize or explain any misunderstandings. Sometimes, it may be our own incorrect way of expressing ourselves that causes others to misunderstand us.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 15345
       },
       {
        "question": "How to get rid of the influence brought by the original family and change this character to reshape oneself?",
        "description": "In 97, my three older sisters, on average, are 10 years older than me. My parents are in their 60s and there is a significant generation gap when communicating with them. My sisters are much older than me, and we don't have much in common, resulting in very little communication with my family. We only contact each other over the phone when necessary, and there is no sense of intimacy. My parents' approach to my upbringing has been criticism and punishment, with no mention of praise when deserved, fearing that I would become conceited. Pointing out my mistakes is for my own good, I know, but it has led to deep-seated insecurities in my personality. I am afraid and unable to love someone, and I struggle to maintain long-term intimate relationships. I am afraid of getting close to people, my personality tends to be extreme, and I rarely communicate with my father because his emotional intelligence is really low, and talking to him always leads to arguments and frustration. Overall, I rarely call my family unless it's necessary. Materially, I am willing to give everything for them, but emotional communication is truly a challenge. Spending too much time at home can induce social anxiety. As an adult, I became fascinated with psychology and philosophy and discovered that my personality and mental state are actually unhealthy. It's like being trapped within a wall and I long to break free, but I feel powerless to do so. I often find myself trapped in feelings of anxiety and depression. I once told my family that I might have depression, but they don't believe it, and everything is always my fault, I'm not good enough... I don't know how to undergo a rebirth, to completely change and transform all of this.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parental communication, growth process",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "China's parents are the best parents in the world, but also the worst parents. They can give us everything they have, but in terms of thoughts, they often neglect us. It is so difficult to hear a word of recognition from our parents. I can understand the feelings of the OP because I grew up in the same way. Due to a lack of communication and guidance from parents, when faced with problems, we have to bear them alone because seeking help is meaningless. Our parents won't come to help, and they might even bring us setbacks. So we always solve problems on our own, which leads to a lack of desire for other interpersonal relationships because we don't believe that they will like or help us. Moreover, due to a lack of communication, it is difficult to approach problems from multiple perspectives, and our ability to solve problems will be limited. So how can we break through? I think it is to interact more with people. Walking in society, you will find that no matter what kind of person someone is, there will be people who like them and people who don't. Kind people may be seen as foolish, while troublemakers may be seen as cool. Interacting with more people and finding those who appreciate you, their attitude and behavior towards you will make you feel that you are worthy of love. Then, internalize it as your own self-evaluation, and your confidence will gradually build up. But everything has two sides. The wrong person will only intensify your anxiety and inferiority. It is crucial to provide limited re-nurturing and guidance to overcome abandonment and deprivation. A counselor can act as a stable and affirming role, helping you internalize your shining aspects, regain confidence, and teach you how to deal with relationships and choose the right people. Of course, you can also handle these things on your own. You can take a look at the book \"Attachment Therapy,\" it might be helpful for you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 20678
       },
       {
        "question": "I lack confidence in my intelligence and always avoid thinking. What should I do?",
        "description": "It is possible that I was previously criticized for being stupid, and I am very worried about my intelligence. Every time I try to think, I always avoid it. I feel annoyed every time, and I lose my enthusiasm for thinking. Whenever I encounter unfamiliar knowledge, I tend to memorize it blindly. Even if I feel like I have figured it out, I still have a strange feeling of uncertainty. Even if the answer is correct, I still feel something is odd. I feel like I have been avoiding it all the time, and my intellect has decreased. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Growth, character refinement, self-acceptance, and student development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You may not be good at logical thinking, and that's okay. Everyone has different intellectual structures, and you may have talents in other areas such as memory, perception, aesthetics, sense of rhythm, etc., which are all normal. Look for and develop your strengths, you don't have to limit yourself to comparing with others in areas where you have fewer talents. Thinking ability is just one of the many abilities of humans, and it is not necessary for everyone to possess it, nor is it a standard for judging whether a person is intelligent or not. Increasing reading can also be beneficial to a person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 17094
       },
       {
        "question": "I have sexual relations with my father and do not know what to do?",
        "description": "In the past few months, I have been having sexual relations with my father and it has continued until now. I don't know what to do.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, family control",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP~ I don't know how old you are this year. Are you already an adult? You and your father have the closest blood relationship, and engaging in a sexual relationship is inappropriate behavior. If you are still underage, I suggest you explain your situation to your mother and try to move away from your father, or ask your father to move out of the family. From a legal perspective, if your father forces you to engage in a sexual relationship before you reach adulthood, it is not only a violation of morals but also against the law. You can use legal means to protect yourself. However, you are the biggest victim in this matter, and you still have your own life to live. The best thing to do is to break away from this unhealthy relationship as soon as possible, for the sake of yourself and your family. Don't be ashamed to speak up, you must tell your mother. In your family, she is now the only person who can protect you! Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10436
       },
       {
        "question": "I have a same-sex friend, and during our conversation, she said she has no interest in men.",
        "description": "I know a married female friend. I am a woman with short hair and a slightly masculine vibe. I don't know how we hit it off, but we eventually became good friends. We have known each other for almost two years. During a conversation, she mentioned that she is not interested in men. I don't know if it's true or not, but when I asked her about her sexual orientation via text, she avoided answering. I really don't understand. Sometimes, when I playfully scare her, she tells me to go away, but other times she will say things like \"you should die\" during our conversations. Sometimes I feel like she might have feelings for me, but other times I think she is genuinely happy with men. If I don't contact her for two days, she will reach out to me. Once, as a joke, I said that there is a guy who likes her, and she responded by saying that she is not interested in him. I then asked her who she is interested in, and I felt like she was a bit embarrassed. Could it be that I am the one she is interested in? I am really curious because it's rare to meet someone in real life who is like you, but she never speaks openly about it. Maybe she is just reserved. She is very beautiful.",
        "keywords": "Love, sexual orientation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello. I apologize that I cannot answer whether your friend is of the same sex or not. I believe your main concern is whether she likes you or not. I don't know if your friend likes you, but I suspect you might have feelings for her. Whether it's a same-sex or opposite-sex attraction, being good friends shows that there is some level of liking between you. It could be just a friendly liking, or it could be the \"attraction between both sexes\" as you mentioned. However, please note that your friend is a married woman. Regardless of same-sex or opposite-sex love, it is important for it to be based on a stable relationship between two people. Setting aside other factors, although society's acceptance of homosexuality has indeed improved, overall, a person revealing themselves as homosexual still carries some concerns. When you asked about your friend's sexual orientation, whether the answer is yes or no, avoiding the topic can help avoid risks and make one feel safe. You have been trying to find out if your friend is of the same sex, but you have never gotten an answer. \"It is hard to meet someone in the real world who is the same as you.\" Have you told your friend about your sexual orientation? If not, what is the reason? Perhaps if you think about it, you will understand why your friend hasn't told you. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "It is difficult to determine from her words whether she has homosexual thoughts or if she likes you. She says she has no interest in men, but a major reason could be that the man she is interested in has not appeared yet, or she is not ready to enter into a new relationship. When we don't understand anything but realize that there are fundamental differences between the sexes, on the one hand, there is an unstoppable curiosity and exploration, while on the other hand, there is intentional alienation, exclusion, and differentiation, and a preference for same-sex companionship to seek a sense of gender belonging. At this time, an intimate feeling with same-sex friends arises because there are more \"secrets of growth\" to share and communicate. So, there are endless whispered conversations when you are together. This can be understood. Based on the above understanding, she just wants someone to talk to and does not have any other intentions. Perhaps she is showing some dependence on you, but same-sex dependency is essentially about a sense of gender belonging, emotional reliance, and even worship of gender. It does not involve the physical aspect. Adolescence is a process of moving from confusion to order in terms of sexual orientation, accepting one's gender role with joy, and properly knowing oneself while finding the most suitable position in interpersonal relationships. Same-sex dependence is just a very normal phenomenon in this process full of doubts, novelty, and ups and downs. So, don't overthink it, isn't it great to have someone you can talk to?",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Analysis from Tan Yang:1 \"During a conversation, she mentioned that she has no interest in men.\" In this world, besides men, there are also women. If she has no interest in men, then naturally she must be interested in women. This is a matter of privacy, why would she tell you? Either she wants to confide in you, seeking support, understanding, or to share her pain and confusion. However, if she doesn't have a girlfriend, then what is the purpose of this statement? What do you think? 2 \"Sometimes I feel like she likes me, but other times I feel like she is happy with men.\" A woman's sixth sense is often accurate. However, besides homosexuality and heterosexuality, there is also a category called bisexuality. There might even be more people in this category than homosexuals. 3 \"Could it be that I am her type?\" Regardless of whether you realize that you are open to homosexuality, your words and actions reveal that you have feelings for her. You like her, but you don't know if she would accept you. Homosexual relationships are more complicated than those of heterosexuals. Additionally, she already has a family, so her thoughts are contradictory and complex. It is not something that can easily be decided upon to establish such a relationship with you and officially date. Thank you for your question, may the beauty of the world come to you as expected.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19325
       },
       {
        "question": "I am 27 years old, extremely low self-esteem, often thinking about death, unable to sleep at night and crying all the time.",
        "description": "All my friends around me are getting married, and my relatives are also urging me. However, I feel extremely insecure and fearful of dating and marriage. But I don't want to worry my parents. I stay up very late every night, and sometimes even contemplate suicide. I become extremely sensitive and take even the slightest little thing personally, and then I start crying. My mood is extremely low.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety, emotional regulation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear friend, hello! I can see that you are feeling anxious, and I understand why. Besides not being married yet, what else makes you feel inferior? Take some time to really get to know and understand yourself. Recognize the compliments from your friends, appreciate the care from your family, and relish in the joy of past successes. If you think about these things, you will realize that you are someone worthy of love and are capable of loving others. It is your own belief that you are inadequate and insecure that prevents you from making more effort and being proactive in relationships. It stops you from pursuing someone you really like, and it also prevents those who have feelings for you from getting closer to you. Dear friend, if you are unable to resolve these feelings of insecurity and thoughts of suicide, I suggest seeking professional psychological help. Believe in yourself, and you will find that you are capable.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
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            "type": "Others"
           },
           {
            "start": 20,
            "end": 101,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 101,
            "end": 197,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 197,
            "end": 243,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 243,
            "end": 255,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 7956
       },
       {
        "question": "In my freshman year, I feel like I am very plain and unsophisticated. How can I truly become confident from the inside out?",
        "description": "I am a freshman student, and my family condition is pretty good. My life is harmonious and relatively happy. My grades are also acceptable, but not outstanding. The aspect I am most unsatisfied with is my appearance and fashion sense. I feel like I look plain and unfashionable. When I encounter people who are exceptional or attractive, I feel inferior. However, I am not the type who outwardly appears timid and hesitant to speak. I just constantly belittle myself in my own mind. My friends always tell me that confident girls are the most beautiful, but I don't know how to truly be confident from the inside out, and this causes me distress.",
        "keywords": "Growth, personality development, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! From your description, I can sense that you care a lot about your appearance and clothing, and that it has been bothering you. Sending you a hug. It is common for people to have a desire to look beautiful, so this is not your fault. We all want to better ourselves, and this is a common psychological trait. As a student, it is important to dress appropriately within your means and not compare yourself to others. Within your financial capabilities, you can dress up appropriately. As the saying goes, \"a well-read person has an air of elegance\". I believe you are aware of this. So, first and foremost, start from within. Having a good personality and working on improving yourself inside and out is necessary. Therefore, start by studying more. This can be in many aspects, such as learning from watching TV shows and movies, observing the mannerisms of sophisticated individuals. On the other hand, read more books, especially those with depth, and spend time contemplating to deepen your understanding of various topics. You can also browse online shopping platforms or read fashion magazines to improve your taste. Enhancing your perspective will help address this issue. Secondly, the simplest way is to find someone with good taste and fashion sense to accompany you when buying clothes and help you with styling. Regarding makeup, it is not necessary to know everything. Simply apply a little BB cream and learn how to do your eyebrows. Adding a touch of lipstick when going out is enough. Next, focus on your outward appearance, starting with your hairstyle. Keep it fresh and clean, avoiding those overly exaggerated colors. As for clothing, it doesn't have to be expensive, but it should be simple, elegant, and clean. You can visit clothing stores, try on different outfits, but you don't necessarily have to buy them. Remember, it's not about being expensive, just find what suits you. Surround yourself with fashionable girls, the more you observe, the more you will naturally change any bad habits. Take regular showers, change clothes, and keep things clean and tidy. Over time, you will gradually become elegant and refined. Work on improving those aspects of your personality that need change. Show care and consideration towards others, and you will become beautiful because of your loveliness. Keep up the good work! The most important thing is to cultivate your inner character. Some people may have a good appearance, but still give off the impression of being unsophisticated, simply because they lack inner cultivation. A person with inner cultivation will possess an external temperament and an extraordinary image. Improving oneself internally means refining one's own cultivation. This refers to enhancing one's temperament through culture, reading more books, improving cultural literacy, and presenting oneself as extraordinary in interactions and behavior. Additionally, maintaining a positive mindset is essential. In modern society, where material possessions are relatively abundant, many people's desires tend to expand, and the tendency to compare oneself with others is strong. However, if one is not easily satisfied, it is difficult to maintain a positive mindset. A person with a negative mindset who constantly complains about the unfairness of the world and the darkness of society, with a face full of resentment, will certainly come across as unsophisticated. It is challenging for someone with a negative mindset to have a good appearance and demeanor, so a positive mindset is also a treasure for enhancing one's own temperament. It is common for people to desire beauty, as everyone wants to improve themselves. Of course, pursuing a westernized aesthetic excessively and always striving for a westernized appearance might make people think that you are trying too hard and come across as unsophisticated.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug the post author \ud83e\udd17~ After reading the post author's description, I would like to give them a thumbs up! Overall, the post author already has a preliminary understanding and sorting out of their confusion and finally raised the question of \"how to achieve true self-confidence from the inside out\". Below, I will provide some suggestions in the hope of helping the post author. Firstly, if you want to achieve self-confidence from the inside out, the first thing you need to do is to accept your current self. No matter how plain or unsatisfactory you think you are, it cannot be denied that this is who you are now. And there is nothing wrong or bad about this version of yourself, and from your description, your past life seems to have been quite good. So when you encounter someone who is outstanding or good-looking, you can appreciate their excellence and beauty, but there is no need to belittle yourself because your life was also happy before meeting them. And the appearance of these people is just providing some possibilities for you to become even better and more outstanding. Secondly, take some time to think about what is considered excellent or good-looking in your eyes. What kind of outfit can immediately attract your attention and make you want to take another look? What kind of person do you sincerely think is outstanding? When you encounter those who are outstanding or good-looking, you might as well think about these questions. There must be certain qualities in them that move you, and by grasping these qualities, you will find your future goals and direction. Thirdly, taking the first step is always difficult, although the idea is perfect. When you realize what you truly appreciate about them, you can do your best to find ways to achieve it. For example, in terms of dressing, you can go on Xiaohongshu or Weibo to watch videos or articles about fashion bloggers, find the type that you like, and watch more of that type of dressing, and then start to change your own style. Finally, I want to tell the post author that self-confidence from the inside out is based on affirming and accepting oneself. When a person fully accepts and appreciates themselves, they will have self-confidence from the inside out. I hope that my answer can help you~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear op, hello~ I'm happy to see your post and that you're only in your freshman year. You have plenty of time and energy to study and enrich yourself. I understand your feelings very well. Even though your own conditions are not bad, you can't help but feel inferior in the presence of outstanding or attractive people. However, it doesn't affect your normal social interactions, and you tend to belittle yourself psychologically. It seems that in front of them, our confidence disappears and every move we make seems to be within their predictable reactions. We can try changing our mindset when interacting with them, approaching it more like a learning experience. If there are things to learn from them, we can make improvements; if not, we should strive to better ourselves. Perhaps this will work better, and we will also realize that they are not perfect in daily interactions. \"My family conditions are decent, and my life is harmonious and relatively happy. My grades are also good, but not exceptionally outstanding.\" Look, these are your strengths, or rather, what sets you apart from others. Moreover, you have a happy and beautiful family. Everyone is born different, with their own strengths and weaknesses. It's just that when we're in a state of inferiority, our strengths are diminished while our weaknesses are magnified until we can't breathe. This forms a vicious cycle, and if we don't adjust in time, we will start to deny ourselves in more aspects. So, try affirming the differences between yourself and others, and recognize the happiness you have. Boldly acknowledge the excellence in others and approach them with an equal heart. The reason we lack confidence in front of outstanding individuals is because, subconsciously, we fear authority. To overcome this fear, one way is to establish a proximal psychological defense mechanism, which means nurturing your inner self and enhancing your sense of self-worth, to build a strong mental will. You need to have an independent, complete cognitive and value system about things, reaching almost a level of belief. Imagine that a Buddhist or a Christian would at least not feel authority fear towards secular objects because they already have their own beliefs. Second, you need to establish a long-distance psychological defense mechanism, read more books, and arm yourself with cultural symbols. These two points are actually extremely important in your current learning process. Dear op, you describe your clothing style as \"rustic and plain.\" I used to be troubled by this issue too, but I later found that clothes can actually reflect your current state of mind. If you don't know which style suits you best, it may also be a reflection of inner confusion. Try doing things you like or inclined to like, find your own identity, and perhaps you will naturally know how to dress. Simply put, \"imitate\" and look for dressing styles that you really like, and through imitation, you'll gain insight. Dear op, if my advice is even slightly helpful to you, I would be very happy, even if it just warms your heart. My actions will have meaning~~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3414
       },
       {
        "question": "A girl, who doesn't have many friends in class, what should she do?",
        "description": "Girls, I don't have many friends in class. Other female classmates always go out to eat and use the restroom together, but I'm always left alone. Previously, I used to hang out with them, but something happened and it seems like they don't want to hang out with me anymore, so I just naturally withdrew. Since it's a science class, there are only four girls, and I don't have a good relationship with the other girl besides them. Although I have good relationships with male classmates, it's not convenient to always hang out with them. I always feel like I'm not good enough or interesting enough to have friends, but I study computer science abroad, and I'm a top student. I have read many books in both English and Chinese, so I think I should be a valuable person. However, I still can't fit in with them. What should I do? I feel very lonely, so lonely that it drives me crazy. What should I do?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates, classmates, social adaptation.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello girls~ After reading your description, it seems that you are having a hard time fitting in with your four female classmates in the science class. Feeling excluded is making you frustrated and lonely, is that right? You mentioned that you used to hang out with them and had a good relationship, but something happened and they no longer want to play with you. So, did something unpleasant happen between you and your friends? Or was there a misunderstanding and a lack of communication that led to the end of your friendship? It seems that you still care about your relationship with those two female classmates, right? If there were indeed some misunderstandings causing distance between you, making you feel uncomfortable, after thinking about it calmly, you could take the initiative to have a good chat with them. Whether through text messages or meeting in person, communicate and address the issues, and maybe you can rebuild a friendly relationship. There is no need to feel inadequate or unworthy of having friends because of misunderstandings or because of them. Negative thoughts like these are not helpful. Many times, when we are not recognized, it is easy to develop a sense of inferiority or self-doubt. Feeling that among them, we have lost our value and have been excluded because of our own problems, constantly doubting ourselves and leaving ourselves in a state of isolation. I can sense that deep down, you may lack a sense of security. I'm not sure about your childhood upbringing and your experiences that have shaped you. Perhaps you have been rejected, not recognized, or not valued before, which has made you sensitive and easily feel that others treat you unfriendly, leading you to constantly think that you are \"targeted\" or \"disliked.\" First of all, you need to break free from this mindset and cycle. You are studying abroad, excelling in computer science, proficient in both Chinese and English, well-read, knowledgeable... these are your shining points and reflect your worth. You should acknowledge and accept these strengths, as they are the result of your hard work. Don't let others' lack of understanding or lack of support make you negate or bury yourself. At the same time, learn to understand yourself. At this stage, you may have a relatively shallow self-identification and your own recognition is built upon others' values. You are very concerned about others' evaluations and opinions of you, making it easy for you to lose yourself. You need to strengthen your subjective awareness and focus less on others, but rather on yourself. Accept your strengths and weaknesses. You have a strong learning ability, but you don't get along well with some classmates. It's okay, relationships are always mutual and the good or bad of a relationship may have reasons from both sides. It doesn't necessarily mean it's all your fault. Everyone needs to constantly learn and grow in relationships. When facing difficulties and problems, if you can firmly stand by your principles and beliefs while also being able to tolerate, understand, accept, and make progress with each other, that would be a healthy, friendly, and positive relationship worth cherishing and salvaging. If it can't withstand the test, breaks with just one slight push, become distant, and even prevent you from being yourself, leading to self-dislike and self-denial, then I think it's better to let go or distance yourself. Do you agree? There is a saying, \"Different circles don't necessarily need to forcefully merge.\" If it is difficult to fit into a \"circle of friends,\" why force yourself? We can still get to know more like-minded friends and companions. As long as we are sincere and genuinely want to be friends with others, they will feel it and treat us with sincerity. The most important thing is not to restrict ourselves and not to get trapped, which will only cause internal conflict. Lastly, I want to say that loneliness is a normal state for humans. It may be related to how well you get along with others. The main thing is to rely on yourself to regulate, learn to be alone with yourself, which is an important and necessary lesson in relationships. Keep up the good work and believe that you are always awesome!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello ~~~ First, give OP a hug. I can understand from the description that 1. OP and the girls in the class are not close, and OP feels lonely every day. 2. OP feels that they may not be good enough, but can't figure out why they can't have a good relationship with them. [A little analysis and advice] 1. OP mentioned that there aren't many girls in their class, and most of the friends they can make are similar to themselves. OP also mentioned that they have read many books and are essentially an excellent girl. Perhaps it is these parts that OP considers excellent that make other girls feel that there is no conversation or intimacy with OP. But this is also due to the small scope of friends that can be chosen in the class. When OP enters a broader world in the future, perhaps they will be able to find friends who are suitable for them. 2. In addition, to solve the problems in interpersonal relationships, most of the time, one needs to find their own issues in conflicts and make changes. OP should think about the things that caused a distance between them and some friends, and whether there are any lingering concerns. Considering these questions may be helpful for OP's current interpersonal communication. I hope this is helpful for OP.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11024
       },
       {
        "question": "Should I break off this relationship? I have developed feelings for my therapist, what should I do?",
        "description": "I went to the school counseling office in Japan to seek advice after a failed presentation in class. The counselor was a professor at the school, but we had no other interaction besides the counseling sessions. I have been going for counseling for two months. I was able to successfully complete the second presentation in class. The counseling was supposed to end, but because I thought this teacher was nice, I ended up chatting with him about some personal things, like my frustrations as an international student and some family matters. Surprisingly, we have been talking for almost a year. I feel like I'm starting to like him more and more, but I don't really know him outside of the counseling room. The sessions are mainly focused on me talking and he occasionally says a few things. He rarely talks about himself. I asked if I could see him more often, but was rejected. I also wanted to give him a gift to show my gratitude, but that was also refused. Finally, I asked him if he didn't like me, and he said it's not a romantic relationship but that doesn't mean he doesn't like me. So, I know that I have been rejected again. But I just wanted to hear him say that he doesn't like me, so I can focus on studying, graduate, and go back home. I don't want to be given any hope. I'm wondering if I should cut off this relationship.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Author, hello! Reading your description, what comes to mind is transference of a sexual nature, where the visitor falls in love with the counselor. This type of transference often occurs in opposite-sex counseling relationships. The counseling relationship is a special kind of relationship, unlike any other in daily life, especially considering you are in a foreign land. I understand the warmth and support you receive through counseling! I also understand that studying abroad can be challenging! Sending you a hug! Based on your description, your counselor is adhering to ethical guidelines and counseling boundaries. They did not accept your gifts, did not meet with you outside of counseling sessions, and did not engage in a romantic relationship with you. Let me first introduce the counseling ethics I remember: Establishing clear counseling boundaries is very important, including determining the duration of each counseling session, setting a fixed counseling frequency and time, addressing counseling fees, etc. These boundaries serve to protect both the counselor and the client, and any violation of these boundaries is significant and worth discussing. During counseling, there should be no physical contact, no relationships outside of counseling, no acceptance of gifts, and no romantic relationships between the counselor and client for three years after counseling ends, among other things. These boundaries also provide protection for both the counselor and the client. The counselor should strive to maintain objectivity, neutrality, and anonymity as much as possible. Based on these guidelines, what are your thoughts? Have you discussed this situation with your counselor? If not, I suggest you bring it up and perhaps you will find some answers or reasons. If you have already discussed it and your situation has not changed, you may want to consider discussing it with your counselor again or even considering finding a new counselor. Wishing you the best.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I really understand the current state of the questioner. It is indeed easy for visitors to generate other emotional feelings for counselors because in this process, we express our inner thoughts and emotions to each other, which can easily form dependence. We call this transference. However, it is important to note that because of this, we need to think more about whether this feeling is really a normal love as usual, or if it is mixed with other factors. We may want to calmly think about it and try to have a rational judgement. On the other hand, because the other person is our therapist, it is best to communicate such feelings to them, as it is likely to affect the effectiveness of counseling treatment. The therapist also needs to judge and adjust the treatment plan accordingly.",
          "has_label": true,
          "labels_sequence": [
           {
            "start": 0,
            "end": 14,
            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
           {
            "start": 14,
            "end": 86,
            "type": "Interpretation"
           },
           {
            "start": 86,
            "end": 171,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           },
           {
            "start": 171,
            "end": 243,
            "type": "Direct Guidance"
           }
          ]
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 9255
       },
       {
        "question": "17-year-old girl, preparing for the college entrance examination, has poor mental state and is very anxious, how to adjust?",
        "description": "I used to think that I was doing fine. I could come up with ideas that my classmates couldn't think of. But since this semester started, I feel like my brain doesn't work as well. I have to think for a long time even for simple questions, and I often daydream during class. Even though I know I should work harder, I just can't seem to get motivated. I don't go to bed late at night, but I feel tired during the day. As the college entrance examination is approaching, I feel more and more anxious. I get scared when it's time for exams, and I feel sleepy when I try to study. Is this a problem with my mindset? How can I adjust it? [Feeling frustrated]",
        "keywords": "Emotions, anxious emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi there, my friend! Reading your description, it seems like you're going through a crucial period of intense studying in your third year of high school, but you're having trouble adjusting your mental state. I completely understand your anxiety. Based on your description, it seems that your state of mind hasn't been as good as before since the beginning of this semester. Your efficiency in studying has decreased, and your sleep quality has also been poor. If you feel like your state of mind has significantly and persistently affected your normal academic life, I recommend seeking medical advice. However, in most cases, the situation can be resolved through appropriate relaxation and rest. One of my friends was particularly anxious before the college entrance exam. Her parents took her on a week-long trip, and they even visited some universities. After returning to school, her state of mind significantly improved, and her grades even improved by a hundred places. So, I suggest not putting too much pressure on yourself and setting aside some time to relax. You might achieve higher efficiency and better results. Remember, learning is a long-term activity that requires perseverance. Face the challenges of each stage with the best possible state of mind.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1133
       },
       {
        "question": "Is it true when they always say everything is for your own good?",
        "description": "Is it really for my own good when you always say that all of this is for my own good? I just don't feel it.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, deception and trust, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I believe that many people will experience situations like the one you described. In our daily lives, we often hear things like that, all for your own good. Whether it's from parents or relatives and friends, they might all say the same thing. But whether it's good or not, I think each person will measure it according to their own standards. Let's take parents as an example. Parents always say that their decisions are for our own good. We can analyze this. First of all, they would never harm us, and they definitely want us to have a better life. Compared to us, they have much more life experience and knowledge, so we should seriously consider their advice. As for other people, if you feel they aren't looking out for your best interest, you can have your own criteria and you have the right to choose whether to do something or not. If you really think it's not helpful or not for your own good, you can choose not to do it. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11928
       },
       {
        "question": "Aunt Flo is coming soon, and I get easily irritable before her arrival. How can I control my temper?",
        "description": "Before Aunt Flo comes, my emotions are always bad. I'm easily irritated and extremely sensitive. How can I avoid feeling so agitated and irritable?",
        "keywords": "Emotion, emotion regulation, emotional intelligence",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"Louzhu, hello~ First, let me give you an encouraging hug. I completely understand how you're feeling right now. This is actually a very normal phenomenon, and many little fairies experience Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS). Although the causes of PMS are still unclear in the medical field, it is generally believed to be related to the roller coaster-like changes in hormones during the luteal phase. In addition to causing uncontrollable mood swings and irritability, it may also lead to bloating, breast tenderness, abdominal discomfort, increased appetite, acne breakouts, and other undesirable conditions. 1. Adjust your lifestyle: a balanced diet and nutrition, regular exercise, and reducing or eliminating the intake of smoking, salt, and coffee can help little fairies smoothly get through the premenstrual phase. 2. Psychological therapy: relax, stay optimistic, and avoid being too hard on yourself. Also, let the people around you know about this, so they can be more understanding and caring. 3. Dietary supplements: Research has shown that daily intake of 80mg of vitamin B6 can help reduce emotional symptoms caused by PMS. (Reference: Baidu) Wish you the best~.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1248
       },
       {
        "question": "Should older single young women stay in first-tier cities or return to their hometown in third-tier cities?",
        "description": "I graduated at the age of 24 and moved to Guangzhou. Now, I have been drifting in Guangzhou for 8 years. My career hasn't made much progress, and I am a 32-year-old single woman. My hometown is a third-tier city, and it is very difficult to find a partner at the age of 32. The working environment is not good, and there aren't many good companies. I have never lived in the capital city of my hometown, and I have no relatives there. I have a few classmates, but I am not very familiar with them. If I go back, I will have to start from scratch. Currently, I work in a state-owned enterprise in Guangzhou, and my take-home salary is about 10,000 yuan per month. Over the years, I haven't made any close friends or have any relatives here. I am facing difficulties at work and I feel excluded from the environment, so I want to switch jobs. It is basically like starting from scratch. I handle everything by myself in my work and life in Guangzhou, and I feel very lonely, tired, and exhausted both physically and mentally. Will my work situation be better if I go back? Will it be difficult to find a partner? Guangzhou has much better conditions than my hometown in all aspects. Should I continue to persevere? Should I go back to my hometown or continue to stay in Guangzhou?",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and learning, the meaning of life.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Actually, this issue is essentially a lifestyle problem. First of all, you should understand that people have social attributes and are not machines that work without any thoughts after being switched on. People need friends and social activities, otherwise they are prone to psychological problems or mental instability. If, as you said, you only have work and no friends in Guangzhou, then it is imaginable that you may appear exciting in the eyes of others, but when you close the door, you feel like you are nothing. If you think you can accept this situation, then you can continue to stay. But if you feel that you genuinely need a few good friends to occasionally enjoy the good life, or often go out with relatives and friends to travel and have fun, then you can quit your job, use your saved money, and return to your hometown. With that money, you can open a small store to make a living, and then happily paddle with relatives and friends~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. The question you asked seems to be about life choices, but in reality, it's about how you perceive yourself. After living in a big city for eight years, you suddenly consider returning to your hometown because you have encountered setbacks in your life here, and you want to solve these setbacks with a simple method - going back home. When you realize that this is your way of thinking, you will realize that it actually cannot solve the problem. Love, work, and interpersonal relationships are all life issues that everyone encounters. Every problem requires wisdom and a calm emotional state to solve. What you need is not someone telling you what choice to make, but asking yourself in your heart, what do you want. And every answer we get comes with both opportunities and challenges. I hope you can find your own answer.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4223
       },
       {
        "question": "I feel empty inside and always hope that someone can take care of and pay attention to me.",
        "description": "I recently always involuntarily do things that attract attention or evokes pity. I really hope to have someone to take care of me and pay attention to me, but I can't find anyone. I feel empty inside, and I always subconsciously seek attention from others, which makes people look down on me. What's wrong with me now? How can I find someone like that? How can I stop doing these subconscious things?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, please, stay up late, emptiness.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hug, OP~ I can totally understand how you feel. Everyone craves to be cared for, and it's completely normal. [Problem Analysis] The main issue for the OP is the desire for attention, leading them to do things that seek attention or sympathy in the hope of being taken care of. This leads to a sense of emptiness inside, but they don't know how to find someone like that, or how to stop doing things just to seek attention, causing them to feel stuck and upset. [How to Solve] 1. Do things you enjoy and keep yourself busy. If the OP feels a sense of emptiness inside, they can try things they haven't done before or complete things they wanted to do but never got around to due to various reasons. Keeping oneself busy, whether it's reading, writing, traveling, trying different foods, hiking, or exercising, can make one's life more fulfilling and gradually reduce the feeling of emptiness. 2. Showcase your strengths and make more friends. Participate in activities or competitions, make use of your strengths, let more people see your shining points, and at the same time, make friends with different people and get to know others. When your strengths are recognized and you meet like-minded friends, the possibility of finding someone who cares and takes care of you will increase. 3. Strive to improve oneself and naturally attract more attention. People who receive attention usually have outstanding looks, exceptional abilities, or excellent social skills. If you want to be cared for and receive attention, you need to constantly improve yourself. Only when you become outstanding will you attract more people's attention. No need to rush, take it slow, focus on your own development, and everything you want will come. It's not something to worry about; go with the flow and don't let it bother you too much. Wishing you a happy and joyful life, OP~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Title master, hello, from your description I can feel your loneliness, and I really hope to have someone around to care for and love oneself. Nobel Laureate Koestler once said, \"Each person is an island.\" Perhaps, we have many social relationships and can have many people around us, but in the spiritual sense, we are all islands, and it is difficult for us to surpass our own harbors and reach others' islands. I think dealing with loneliness is a topic that everyone needs to learn. From the moment we separate from our mother's womb, we feel lonely. We must survive as independent individuals. In the process of everyone's growth, parents or caregivers cannot give us 100% unconditional attention and love. We will all have a scarcity of love to some extent. This loneliness and scarcity still exist after adulthood, so we would really like to have someone to care for us, like how parents care for their children. If a person can meet someone who is willing to accompany them unconditionally, it is truly a happy and healing thing. But, dear one, we need to understand that every adult needs to be responsible for themselves. When we were small, we did not have the ability and resources to meet our own needs, so we could only rely on our parents. But now we have grown up and can rely on ourselves to satisfy ourselves, to be the best parents to ourselves. Let's think about what we can do for ourselves when facing loneliness. When we redirect our attention back to ourselves, instead of craving others' approval, we will find that there are many things we can do and many joys to discover in life. I would like to share some things I personally enjoy with you: 1. I have been fond of meditation in recent years, which is a very useful tool for practicing self-connection. When we have emotions, we can also observe them through meditation. 2. Reading and writing. Since 2018, I have been exposed to psychology and have read many books related to psychology, which have greatly helped my life. Domestic authors in the field of psychology, such as Wu Zhihong, Li Xue, and Zhang Defen, as well as foreign authors such as Susan Forward, Scott Peck, and Patsy Evans, are all authors I admire. 3. Try to cultivate an interest for yourself, such as learning a musical instrument, practicing yoga, or taking a course. When we see that we have the ability to accomplish something, it enhances our sense of worth and meaning, and such positive feelings become a driving force for us to move forward, thus forming a virtuous cycle. I have always believed in \"I am already complete\". Everyone can satisfy themselves and be responsible for themselves through their own efforts. When we start to learn to take responsibility for ourselves, we will realize that happiness is actually in our own hands. I hope my answer can help you. Best wishes to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Understandable, the questioner said, \"I feel empty inside, and I subconsciously seek attention from others, which makes me feel inferior. What's happening to me?\" Understandable, everyone has a psychological need to be loved, a need to be loved. What is the psychology of being loved? It means that we long for recognition, appreciation, and affirmation from others. Getting love from others fundamentally makes us feel that we are being paid attention to, for example, being noticed when we appear, being noticed by our name, listening to our opinions, forgiving our faults, and taking care of our needs. In fact, since childhood, being paid attention to and praised by others is a fundamental need of human beings, and it continues throughout our lives. So the state of mind of the questioner is understandable, as each of us is naturally eager to receive love, comfort, connection, and a sense of security. This longing for a strong and deep emotional connection with someone is called attachment in psychology. Attachment initially stems from our attachment to our parents during infancy and early childhood. When our primitive longing for a response from our parents is met, we feel a sense of fulfillment and security. However, when our longing is rejected or ignored, we feel anxious and restless, and a deep panic about losing contact arises. Although we are now adults, the attachment patterns formed in childhood continue to influence us. The questioner also asks, \"How can I find such a person?\" In interpersonal relationships, there is a rule: \"Treat others as you want to be treated.\" In other words, if you want someone to love you, you may need to love others first. Although there may be some energy loss in this process, most of it will be reciprocated.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, a big hug for you. Don't feel ashamed, it's very normal. Who hasn't felt empty and lonely at some point? To be honest, I went through a similar phase recently, feeling particularly isolated and wanting someone to accompany me, someone to pay attention to me. So, I downloaded a bunch of social apps and chatted with people, played voice matching games, and stayed up all night chatting. At that time, I really wanted to find someone to be with me. But soon after, I deleted all those apps. I realized that they didn't relieve my loneliness, but instead made me feel worse. Despite chatting with so many people, I couldn't find that person. I gradually understood that some things can't be rushed. The best things take time. Being idle is when the feeling of loneliness is the strongest. Humans need social interaction. We need a sense of belonging. Nowadays, the pace of social life is getting faster and faster, and we're under a lot of mental pressure. We feel our existence is very small, and we need to find someone to vent to. But that person can't be found just by looking for them. We may appear to be living in a group, but inside, we feel incredibly lonely. Those subconscious actions of seeking attention are also meant to let others know that we exist, to briefly make ourselves feel not alone. In reality, it's a way to mask our inner insecurities and anxieties. But the feeling of loneliness has surely been there for a long time, so why does it become particularly strong at certain times? It's all because we have nothing to do. During the period when my loneliness was particularly strong, it was also a time when I didn't know what I should be doing, and I was trapped by inertia and procrastination. When we have nothing to do, we are most susceptible to wandering thoughts (laughs and cries). We need to give ourselves something to do and adjust our mindset, facing this loneliness, emptiness, and solitude with a calm attitude. Keep ourselves busy. Do the things that need to be done well today, don't put them off until tomorrow. Use free time to do the things we love, don't let ourselves get bored. When we do what we need to do well, there will be a sense of pride and satisfaction in our hearts, and we will find the value of our existence. The feeling of not having a presence for others will disappear. As for those subconscious actions to attract attention, don't pay too much attention to them. Constantly improve ourselves and become excellent. At that point, we will confidently believe that we don't need to attract others, just be ourselves. Those actions will gradually fade away. I hope my answer is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! I can sense your anxiety between the lines and I'm sending you a strong hug. I hope my response can be helpful to you. Feeling empty is something that everyone experiences and there's no need to feel ashamed about it. Feeling empty indicates a spiritual void, and if not remedied in a timely manner, it can worsen. So how can we fill this void? First, keep yourself busy: 1. Focus on your work and find your own value and goals within it. Alternatively, use your spare time to learn new skills, which not only keeps you occupied but also helps you become more excellent. 2. Use your free time to read books. When we read, our thoughts travel through other people's stories, and we have less energy to feel bored. Secondly, keep moving: Invite friends to go hiking or running during your free time, or develop a habit of jogging every morning. Physical exhaustion can help offset mental exhaustion. Lastly, regarding your question about how to find someone who can take care of you, I believe it's better to make yourself excellent first. This way, you will meet more outstanding people. Just like planting a field while waiting for a horse to be attracted naturally.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there! It is normal for each of us to want attention and to be understood by others. However, at this moment, your desire for this may be stronger, to the point where you involuntarily do things to seek attention from others. But remember, the person who understands you the most in this world is yourself! The story of finding a likeminded person amidst the mountains and rivers is beautiful because many people long to find their likeminded person, but most people do not succeed. How can you find such a person, you ask? I cannot provide you with something standardized like a mathematical formula to help you find that person. But what I can tell you is that only when you truly be yourself will you encounter them! Your authenticity may sometimes bring you trouble or make you feel troubled yourself, but please trust your own judgment, constantly improve yourself, and one day, that person will appear! There will be a day when the person you want to find will come, and they will be attracted to the real you. Just like a butterfly finding a flower by following its scent! The real you does not need to actively seek attention from others. How can you stop doing those subconscious actions, you ask? My answer is by being focused on yourself. You understand your true feelings, you know your strengths and weaknesses, you understand that there are ways to make your inner self feel happy and fulfilled without just having someone who understands you. You have many secrets that bring you personal joy, and you have many goals that don't need to be announced, but only require you to take one step at a time... It would be lucky to have someone who understands you, right! But we don't need to pursue this kind of luck too ardently, you just need to confidently be yourself. When you become an excellent person who lives up to your own expectations, rather than just trying to meet the expectations of others, when you are content enough to make yourself happy, you may quietly encounter this fortune. Of course, even if you don't, it's okay! Because as you are now, you are already good enough, enough to make yourself happy and content, isn't that right? I hope my answer can help you become your own happiness and understanding!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I relate to that feeling. I have had this feeling for a long time until I came across a book called \"The Neglected Child\". It doesn't talk about children, but rather about the feeling of being neglected, which can cause a sense of loss and emptiness from seemingly unnoticed small things. The book also provides guidance on how to deal with these feelings as we grow older. I haven't finished reading it yet. I recommend that you take a look and give yourself a hug.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I have experienced a period of extreme despair and loneliness before. I want to share it with you in the hope that it will help you. I used to have two really good colleagues and friends, and we were together for 8 years. We would talk about everything and we were very happy! How many happy 8 years can one have in life? But after a quarrel in June last year, they cut off all contact with me. Since then, I have become a lonely person, feeling very hopeless and empty. Just yesterday, we were happily leaving work together to eat hot pot, take selfies, and go shopping. And now, I have been forced to be alone, while they continue to enjoy hot pot, take selfies, and post on social media. What can I do? After feeling hopeless, I gradually started reading books, learning, exercising, doing yoga, and swimming. I realized that I can do a lot of things by myself! At least these are things I wouldn't have done when there were three of us, because we would always gossip and never run out of things to talk about! And now, I am even seriously and sincerely replying to you, something I couldn't do before. My life has entered a different state of fulfillment now, so am I still lonely? Yes, I am. Every evening, I come home alone after work, and there are no more dinner dates or gatherings. I admit that I still feel lonely, but I know that even if the whole world abandons me, at least I still have books to accompany me! In other words, you can find things that interest you, give yourself energy, and excel secretly. Even being alone can have good weather!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14347
       },
       {
        "question": "20 years old, especially lacking love (warmth in the family), especially feeling insecure.",
        "description": "Why do other people's fathers love their children so much, always thinking about them and considering them in everything? My father always ignores me and tonight he even scolded me because I accidentally dropped a pot. I'm already 20 years old and it's been a long time since someone scolded me like this. I really don't understand, is it necessary to make such a big deal out of something so small? I feel like my father doesn't know anything except for scolding me.",
        "keywords": "Family, family relationships, parent communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, hug you, who is already twenty years old, but was scolded by your dad for breaking a pot. It's indeed a bit frustrating. Have you tried to communicate with your dad? Can you guess why your dad made a big deal out of this small matter? From your description, it seems that there is not much emotional communication between you and your dad. Is it because your dad never expresses his own emotions, or is it because you have different opinions on certain issues? When your mood calms down, try to communicate with your dad properly, changing what can be changed and accepting what cannot be changed, seeking common ground while respecting differences.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14754
       },
       {
        "question": "I do not like my husband's family, often having suicidal thoughts, but I cannot bear to leave my child...",
        "description": "and her husband got to know each other and dated for a year and a half. They met each other's parents a few times during this period, once at her parents' house, and each time she would carefully prepare gifts for his parents. The time they went to her house, she led him to the supermarket to buy things. They got married and had a traditional dowry custom in her hometown in 2016. Her parents were rural people, but they were considerate and open-minded. Before the marriage, they had talked to her about the dowry, and they said they would give all the dowry back to her for their life together. Her parents brought up the question of dowry, and her husband initially agreed. However, her future in-laws got involved later on. She could clearly hear her future mother-in-law yelling on the phone, saying that they wanted more dowry. In their village, the bride's parents had already paid the down payment for the house. This was said loudly and clearly, without the speakerphone on. The issue went on for many days, but she, who was severely suffering from morning sickness, couldn't intervene. Eventually, her husband also felt that there was no reason to give his mother money for the wedding. His entire family also doubted the credibility of her parents' words, thinking that they wanted the money for her younger brother's wedding. Her simple and honest parents, I dare not say anything else, but I know that they would never play any tricks on me. They are just trying to make a compromise between the customs of their relatives and friends and their love for me. They just want to transfer the money quickly. They considered everyone's interests. Finally, before they got their marriage certificate, her husband transferred 130,000 yuan to her and even specifically said that if she insisted on giving it to her parents and the money ran out, it would be her problem.",
        "keywords": "marriage, concept of marriage, marriage management",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, this will have an impact on both your body and the baby's. Your parents have good intentions, and your husband also cares about you. However, there may be different customs regarding dowries due to regional differences, which lead to different beliefs. I understand that you may feel angry or upset at this time. At this time, perhaps you can communicate with your husband and directly explain your parents' thoughts and the customs in your family. The dowry received can be used for yourselves. I hope that the issue of dowry does not cause harm to you or your relationship with your husband. Communicate with your husband more if there are any issues. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5497
       },
       {
        "question": "How can I forget the person I love after breaking up?",
        "description": "I am deeply in love with a girl. We were very happy together. After knowing each other for 7 months, I started to doubt her. For example, I expected her to respond to my messages instantly, and if it took too long, I would think she was chatting with someone else. At the beginning of our relationship, our meetings were normal and she was always happy when we met. But later on, our meetings became fewer and even when I suggested meeting up, she didn't seem very enthusiastic. Sometimes she would even say she had something else to do and would meet next time. I feel like she was just placating me. Does this mean she doesn't love me anymore? We have broken up now, but I still can't forget her. Even if I tell myself to forget her and be resolute, I just can't do it. We haven't contacted each other for a week now. She hasn't reached out to me, and I haven't reached out to her either. But every day, I think of her, and I miss her so much, especially the time we spent together. I can't focus on anything and I feel terrible mentally. I can't let go, and every day feels so exhausting. Please, is there any way to relieve this emotional burden?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You love the girl very much and pay a lot of attention to her. However, love often makes people worry and doubt, causing them to have uncontrollable thoughts. These thoughts will unconsciously affect your behavior and attitude, causing cracks in the relationship. Why do we always remember past love affairs? From your description, I see that the previous relationship between you and her was mostly based on your own speculation and doubt, with a lot of \"I think\", but without deep communication and feedback from her or a definite answer. Therefore, you carry a lot of regrets and unwillingness in your heart, unable to find peace due to this unknown answer. Psychologically, there is a phenomenon called \"Zeigarnik effect\", which refers to an unfinished emotional attachment. We often worry about and cannot let go of things that are unfinished or without results, attracting a great deal of attention. For example, if we don't end up with our first love, getting married and having children, we will always remember it and give it many beautiful imaginations and speculations, so many people regard first love as the most wonderful emotional experience of their lives. For example, if we start doing something or performing a task, but halfway through we stop and have to do something else, we will inevitably still have concerns about the previous thing, unable to let go and constantly thinking about going back to finish it, resulting in the current task being affected and unable to be done properly. Your current state is because this relationship did not have a satisfying ending, and you didn't get a definite answer. So you carry a lot of regrets and speculations in your heart. This relationship, this girl will continue to occupy a space in your mind until you can find a way to put an end to it. How to have an effective farewell? Numerous speculations and imaginations are not as effective as a real action. Does she not love me? How does she view our relationship? How is she doing now? Do we still have a chance?... Many of your doubts can only be answered by her, and only she can write the complete ending for you. If you are willing, try to gather up the courage to contact her and have an open conversation, express your thoughts and understand her thoughts and attitude, let her answer your questions. Then both parties can part ways amicably. Whether there is still a possibility between you two, whether there is a chance to start again, or whether you can continue as friends, or say goodbye to each other and stop contacting each other, it depends on your own thoughts. Even if she firmly rejects you and does not want to continue contact and communication, it means that she has a clear attitude and response, and you have also obtained a definite answer. Perhaps then you can let go and move on. This is not a form of entanglement, but a responsible attitude, being responsible for her and for yourself. Perhaps she also has many speculations and regrets in her heart. A love affair can begin because of a mysterious fate, but only by parting on good terms and writing a complete ending will there be no regrets. You can also perform some ritualistic acts to bid farewell to this love affair in your heart. For example, pack up items related to her and put them away or throw them away; go on a trip to say goodbye; write down your thoughts and farewell words on paper, then seal them in an envelope; if she is willing, you can go to a place you used to frequent together, spend some time there to properly say goodbye, and then go your separate ways... How to move forward and live for yourself? After bidding farewell to this previous relationship, you need to keep moving forward --\u2460 Face your previous emotional experience bravely, review and summarize the lessons you have learned, and see in which aspects you didn't do well enough that led to problems in the relationship, and whether you can change in the future. \u2461 Focus on your own life, pay attention to the people and things around you, and connect with those around you, discovering new opportunities for love in the process. \u2462 Cultivate your own interests and hobbies, do things that make you happy, and play with people who share the same interests. \u2463 Think carefully about your life goals and directions, and consider what you need to do to achieve them. Live for yourself and not in the shadow of someone else's past. Then, leave everything to time and let time heal your regrets. Love can make people grow, strive to become better, and you will also find new emotions.",
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, first of all, I want to give you a hug. I feel like I see someone who yearns for love and is repeatedly overlooked and unable to be satisfied. So, I want to give you a hug and appreciate your perseverance. Now, the question you raised is how to forget someone you love, which means that to some extent, you still love her. Completely forgetting someone you love may take a long time and be somewhat difficult. However, there are some methods to simply let go of this love. First, engage in intimate relationships with others, whether it's a romantic partner or friends. Both individuals will experience a deep integration as the relationship deepens, resulting in a state of \"you in me, and me in you.\" The sudden separation will hurt your sense of self and create a feeling of emptiness from losing a part of yourself. So, on one hand, give yourself some time to heal emotionally. On the other hand, express your pain to trusted family and friends, deepening your relationships, filling the void left by your loved one's departure, and finding warmth through the support of others. Secondly, romantic relationships have the power to alter our hormones. Especially when you truly love someone, the sudden surge of dopamine and serotonin can make you feel great and powerful, like a breath of fresh air. But the sudden heartbreak can cause these hormone levels to rapidly decrease, leading to immense pain, which may even manifest as physical pain. The body's cells renew themselves in approximately 90 days, so as mentioned earlier, give yourself time to let go of the past. Meanwhile, do more things that make you happy, like going out for exercise, reading books, watching movies, socializing with friends, learning new skills, traveling to places you have longed to visit, or treating yourself to something you have wanted to buy for a while. Also, pay attention to maintaining a regular and healthy lifestyle to speed up your body's metabolism and help you recover a stable mindset as soon as possible. Lastly, after discussing emotions and the body, let's talk about memory and thinking. You mentioned that you keep thinking about her, so forcefully trying not to think about her may backfire, causing you to think about her even more. Instead, you can try a different approach - set aside a specific time each day to reminisce about the past, but do so from the perspective of a friend or an outsider, and objectively evaluate everything that happened. Also, clean up your room and your mind, get rid of things related to your loved one that you don't need anymore, and put away the things you still need in a place that is not very visible and not seen on a regular basis. Of course, it should be noted that even if you have forgotten about your loved one, there may still be people and things in the future that will bring back memories. But there's no need to feel disheartened because those are the marks of time and proof of your growth. We grow up through constantly falling and getting back up. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear poster. After reading your words, I feel really sorry for you. It's painful to love someone and then break up. Not being able to have the one you love and being obsessed with pain after the breakup is really difficult. Here's a virtual hug for you. It seems like you still love this person even after the breakup, as you think about them every day and can't do anything without them. I wonder why you broke up and what your thoughts are about this relationship. You mentioned that after being together for seven months, you started to doubt your partner and would message them, hoping for an immediate response. What caused this suspicion? Is there any evidence to support it? How would you feel if they replied immediately? And what if they don't? Does this lack of security in the relationship stem from something that happened? Maybe you could try to reflect on your own state in this relationship and analyze it to gain a better understanding of yourself. As for dealing with your current depression, I have a few suggestions for you: 1. Schedule more activities for yourself each day to keep your mind from wandering. 2. Talk to your family and friends; don't isolate yourself. 3. Go out and get some fresh air, exposing yourself to different environments to help relax your mind. 4. If you find that you can't change on your own, seek help from a professional psychotherapist. Hopefully, these suggestions can be of help to you. Wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I personally think that you need to examine whether you truly love her. If you do, then it does indeed take some time to move on from the relationship. If, after examining yourself, you realize that you only have a possessive desire for her rather than what is known as love, then there is no need to say that you really need to move on. It just means that you haven't found someone else to confide in yet. Thank you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8681
       },
       {
        "question": "14-year-old girl, parents divorced when she was young and have been quarreling. Then both found new partners.",
        "description": "When I was young, my family was quite wealthy. However, my father loved playing mahjong and ended up selling the car and house to invest in a distant relative's business. But that relative took the money and ran away. After that, my parents always fought. First, my father had an affair, and I think I found out before my mother because she was not at home for a short period of time. Later, my father also left, leaving just my mother and me. Recently, my mother has been bringing a man from her workplace to have dinner at home several times. They also chat on WeChat, probably thinking that I don't know. I don't know where she got the three necklaces worth over 5000 dollars that she has been wearing recently. I feel anxious every day.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety emotions, emotional regulation",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, seeing your situation, I feel very sorry for you and want to give you a big hug! Your parents' divorce has caused you harm and made you feel insecure, especially now that your only source of support, your mother, has a boyfriend. You are afraid that she will leave you like your father did. Here are a few suggestions that I hope can help you: 1. Have a serious conversation with your parents about your condition, why you feel anxious, and express that you don't want to lose them and hope they can show you more love. Don't let the start or end of a relationship sever your blood and kinship. 2. Confide in close friends or classmates about your current feelings. It's okay to cry and not keep suppressing yourself. 3. If you don't have any close friends, you can also talk to your teacher about your situation. 4. Shift your focus to things you enjoy and try not to dwell on things that upset you, or devote yourself to your studies. 5. Read good books and learn more to improve your current situation. I recommend a book called \"Lolisa in Dilemma\" (Imaginary National Children's Book) to you, hoping it can help you. Once again, a hug to you, sweetheart, every child is an angel! Lastly, I still hope that divorced parents pay more attention to their children's growth, as they are the most innocent. Don't let them be harmed because of you, affecting their entire lives!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 11660
       },
       {
        "question": "It's very sad and dark, nothing has meaning anymore, and I want to end the pain by committing suicide.",
        "description": "I just want to know if there is any suicide method that is painless and not distressing, as I feel very sad and dark, and everything seems meaningless.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological crisis.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm glad to answer for you. I understand your pain and feeling that many things have no meaning. What happened to you that made you so sad? Or is it something else? Since you are in this world, you should live for yourself. My situation now is similar to yours, and I also feel that life is very bleak. I have no motivation and I hate myself, but even though I am suffering, I am still persevering. Sometimes I cry a lot and feel exhausted. Living every day with a blank expression. There are many people in this world who are trying to live, and life is indeed tough. Don't you have any attachment to this world? Have you encountered any difficulties? Try talking to someone and expressing your feelings, it may make a difference. It will be very uncomfortable to keep everything inside. Suicide will be very painful, so be strong. You're still so young, there are many wonderful things to see. Whatever you are sad about, we can all help you. Speak out, okay? Crying it out will make you feel much better. I hope you can bravely face it, we are always here to support you, right behind you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. I really feel for you. 1. You mentioned that you want a painless way to commit suicide. This kind of thought probably comes from your fear of pain and your desire to avoid the difficulties you're facing. But dear, the pain that comes with suicide can be far greater than the pain of facing and solving problems. Moreover, if you unfortunately succeed, you will transfer even greater pain onto your loved ones and friends. If you fail, you may also be left with long-term consequences. So I hope you can take a moment to calm down, take a deep breath, get a good night's sleep, and think about how you can solve the problems tomorrow. 2. Here are some personal suggestions: you can confide in your friends and family, ask them to help you come up with solutions; if you feel your emotions are abnormal and can't resolve them, I suggest seeking help from a counselor or psychologist; take care of yourself and stay away from things that make you want to harm yourself. I hope this can help you. Take care! The world loves you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "I don't know what you have been through that made you think of suicide. You are afraid of pain and don't want to endure the pain of being alive. You hope for a painless way to commit suicide. I have thought about it carefully, but it seems that there is no foolproof painless method. The methods that seem \"painless\" in movies, to be realistic, all have their own pains, and some have a high probability of failure, resulting in disabling consequences. If you are willing, you can privately message me and tell me your story. I'm not sure if I can help you, but as a mother, I can't bear to see a young life leaving like this. I always hope that every child who comes into this world can experience happiness.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Dear OP, at this moment, you still feel pain. When we let pain flow within our bodies, it will gradually nourish us, and perhaps in the future, we will gain a new strength from it. Also, don't forget that you can take a break, pause for a moment. Time is meant to be felt, and we still have time. When you're tired, take a rest.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4067
       },
       {
        "question": "How to overcome the fear caused by wandering thoughts?",
        "description": "When alone at home, sometimes a person may inexplicably worry if there are bad people hiding behind the door or under the bed. They may wonder if there are thieves or burglars breaking in. How does this happen and how can one avoid scaring themselves with such imagined thoughts?",
        "keywords": "Behavior, hypochondria, anxiety, confusion",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello ~ I understand your feelings very well, sending you a hug ~ Sometimes having such thoughts is quite normal, but it may be due to some underlying insecurity. First of all, I suggest closing the doors and windows when you are at home, as it will give you a sense of being protected. Secondly, since it is the content of your imagination that makes you feel worried, you can fully utilize your imagination. You can buy a doll resembling a police officer or a superhero and imagine that they are very powerful and can easily deal with all the bad guys. You can place it in the living room or bedroom. You can also imagine yourself having superpowers and defeating the villains in various ways. Of course, if your worries are happening frequently and at a high level, you may need to undergo some psychological evaluation.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "type": "Approval and Reassurance"
           },
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           },
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            "start": 48,
            "end": 168,
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            "type": "Direct Guidance"
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         }
        ],
        "questionID": 8467
       },
       {
        "question": "16 years old, in sophomore year of high school, always feels inexplicably anxious, occurring every two days, lasting for a year and a half?",
        "description": "Eighth grade, first semester of high school, physical discomfort combined with stress and some academic matters, I always fall asleep in class, which then leads to anxiety. I thought this could be resolved, but even when I try to adjust and restore my study state, this anxiety comes back every two days. I break out in a cold sweat, lose my appetite (I used to be a foodie), feel restless, have a confused and tight mind, and speak uncontrollably fast. I am anxious about all of these things. It comes suddenly without any warning signs, but it has a very negative impact on me.",
        "keywords": "Emotions, healing methods, anxiety.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "\"OP, hello~~~ Sending you a warm hug. From your description, I understand that you are currently troubled by some inexplicable anxiety that occurs periodically. I don't know how to deal with it either. First, let's try to identify the reasons for our anxiety. In your description, you mentioned that these problems began in ninth grade. Let's recall whether it was caused by certain things in ninth grade, such as the pressure of the high school entrance exam, etc. On the other hand, we can try to record our emotions and the events that occur before and after each episode of anxiety to see if there are any commonalities, such as if it always happens before exams, etc. These commonalities may be important factors influencing it. Secondly, in dealing with these emotions, we can try to find solutions from exceptional situations, referring to situations where these emotional fluctuations do not occur. See if there are any favorable factors that help us get through this process. These are some possible ways that I thought of that may be helpful in resolving the issue. However, if you find that these situations are becoming increasingly severe and you are unable to control them, we also need to seek help from professionals for diagnosis and analysis.\"",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10080
       },
       {
        "question": "I am a mother of two children, how can I determine if I am mentally healthy?",
        "description": "I think I have some psychological problems. I was very introverted when I was a child, and I hardly had any friends. Even now, as a mother of two children, I still don't have any friends. I worry that my eldest child will be like me, having poor interpersonal relationships, and I don't know what to do about it.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, disease diagnosis, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ I completely understand your feelings, sending you a big hug~ If you have any concerns about your mental health, you can go for a professional and comprehensive mental health test. This method will help you have a better understanding of your psychological state and also provide you with methods to improve your condition. Parents have a significant influence on their children, but it doesn't mean that children will have the same problems as their parents. Often, we should trust that children can handle their own matters and provide them with enough trust and care. Being introverted itself is not a problem, and the development of interpersonal relationships is also influenced by many factors. Perhaps what you need to pay more attention to is your current state of anxiety. Do not pass on your anxiety to your child; instead, create a safe and calm environment for them. It is important to realize that no one is perfect, including parents. Children do not need parents to do too much for them; what is crucial is providing them with emotional support and care. Wishing you well~",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 5415
       },
       {
        "question": "\"People say that even if it is advice, it is difficult to have a positive attitude to face it.\"",
        "description": "During the meeting, I happened to overhear something that wasn't of much use to me. I glanced at my phone, and at that moment, my aunt didn't purposely lower her voice and said, \"Playing with your phone is better than not attending the class at all.\" I felt extremely embarrassed internally and had a particularly awkward feeling, but I couldn't express it. I remembered that whether there were many or few people, I found it difficult to not care about other people's \"negative comments\" about me. Even if it was advice, I felt very upset about this hurdle. After hearing it before, I felt like I was in an \"ice cellar,\" and it lasted for a long time. Do I have a psychological problem?",
        "keywords": "Growing up, improving one's character, personal qualities, and self-development.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "We can start by understanding what negative evaluation means. Negative evaluation, in most cases, refers to others evaluating the methods of others from their own perspective, without considering the feelings of the individuals involved or trying to see the problem from the other person's point of view. Sometimes, their own perspective is also unfounded. Therefore, negative evaluations that we receive may not necessarily be true or useful. For example, when the questioner attends a meeting, we all know that people can get distracted. If we happen to look at our phones when the content doesn't concern us, the person might say that we should not come to class if we're just going to play with our phones. But where is the person's attention focused then? If the person is truly paying attention or if we are genuinely disrupting them, it's reasonable for them to remind us. However, if the person reacts so strongly simply because we glanced at them, it indirectly shows that they are not paying attention themselves. Moreover, they fail to take into account the emotions and reactions of the questioner and those around them. They don't make any effort to lower their voice. Wouldn't their behavior affect those around them? If the questioner were to tell the person to be more considerate and mindful of their impact, the person might respond with even more aggressive words and actions. In their worldview, everything they do is right, and any actions we take must meet their expectations to be considered correct. Therefore, we don't need to argue with them too much, and it's okay to selectively ignore some things they say. It's normal to care about others' evaluations of us. For example, when we go out, people may comment on our clothing and appearance. Some may say we look cool, others may say we look unconventional, some may even ask us for fashion advice, while others may gossip on the side. With so many evaluations, which one is correct? In fact, many things are not strictly right or wrong, but rather vary depending on people's perspectives. Therefore, the way we perceive things will also differ, making it difficult to determine who is right. We need to have a certain ability to discern, to know what truly benefits us and to differentiate between others' thoughtless comments. We need to find what is truly useful for ourselves. When faced with evaluations, we can consider the basis for why the other person said what they did, whether they truly considered our perspective, or if they genuinely have our best interests at heart. If the person is making baseless evaluations, regardless of whether they are positive or negative, we can simply ignore them. However, if the person is genuinely considering us and our feelings, we can humbly accept their input because these are the people who truly understand and love us. The world and I love you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The title holder is not alone. Most of us are unwilling to hear others say bad things about us, and we instinctively argue back. So even if someone really says something bad about us, we may not necessarily change or do as they say. Each person should be responsible for their own life, and that is enough. Why would we interfere in other people's lives unless it is just about the issue at hand and does not involve personal attacks? For example, if a teacher tells you that you did a math problem wrong and need to correct it, then you just need to accept the correction. Let's say I am overweight and someone tells me, \"Wow, you're really fat. You should lose weight instead of eating so much.\" Although what they say is right, would I feel happy? Definitely not. I would feel that they are being intrusive and hurtful, and I would feel upset. Whether I am fat or what I eat is none of their business. In the case of the title holder, when someone says to you, \"You should listen in class instead of playing on your phone,\" my first impression is that it's disrespectful. Whether you listen in class or play on your phone is your own business, what does it have to do with her? Even if you end up not doing well in class because you were playing on your phone, it is your own responsibility, not hers. So it's purely unnecessary and it only annoys others. Does that mean you will start listening in class and admire her after hearing this comment? No, you just feel awkward and annoyed. Not expressing your opposition and being able to let it go is a display of knowledge and emotional intelligence. After all, if you start arguing, it will never end. So in many cases, pointing out someone's shortcomings directly and giving a negative evaluation is not a good way to communicate. Some of the high-emotional intelligence people around us would never directly make negative judgments about others. On the contrary, they would inspire others and let them recognize their own problems so that they are more willing to improve. They give the initiative to change back to the person involved instead of trying to force others to change. In regards to playing on the phone, a different approach could be asking, \"Do you think you might miss some content in class while playing on your phone? Do you think your efficiency would be higher if you listen in class first and then look at your phone during free time?\" This way, the choice is given to you, and the other person is actively guiding you to think in a direction that is beneficial to your own development, so you willingly change. The title holder needs to distinguish whether the negative evaluation from the other person is constructive or if they genuinely have your best interests in mind, or if they are just imposing their own values on you and making you feel uncomfortable. I think the people who truly love us will not make us feel awkward or upset. They will silently support us or kindly remind and inspire us. Usually, the people who make us feel upset are simply considering things from their own perspective and imposing their thoughts and beliefs onto us.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! After reading your description, I'll share my feelings. I feel that you are a person with strong self-esteem and a clear mind. You are sensitive to negative emotions, which is a trait that you are not satisfied with at the moment. I don't think you have any psychological problems, but if you feel very uncomfortable, you can try to make changes. Firstly, for anyone, it is very common and necessary to feel negative emotions towards the attitudes and behaviors of others around them. On one hand, receiving negative emotions can improve our objective understanding of things, and on the other hand, it may make individuals realize that they are being judged negatively by others or by a group and need to improve. Just like depressive emotions, this is a signal. Maybe you feel that these negative signals are too strong and are disturbing your normal life or psychological balance. In that case, it would be worth exploring the reasons behind it. During the process of growing up, experiencing too much criticism and advice that is more aimed at people than at the matter itself may cause you to feel frustrated, resulting in being very sensitive to other people's criticism and advice. Or perhaps, lacking a family or school environment that can objectively recognize your strengths and weaknesses, or not cooperating with others to do things, can easily lead to an idealized self that is detached from the evaluations of others. When faced with suggestions or criticisms from others, you may have a bigger reaction. Regardless of the reasons, although the waves may be turbulent within you, your interpersonal relationships and actual life will not be significantly affected. This indicates that this psychological pattern is normal, but you may need to care more about yourself. As for how to change this state, my opinion is to observe more, communicate more, and engage in more cooperative activities. Observe the various character traits of people in life, how they handle criticism and advice they receive. Even if a person is often criticized, no one can take away their right to self-confidence. With so many people in life, praise, encouragement, ridicule, objective advice, expectations or indifference are all normal. Learn to differentiate between them and gradually explore ways that make you comfortable. When encountering something, share your thoughts with others and interact more. Through this, you will have a more realistic understanding of yourself, interpersonal relationships, and objective matters. With the premise of loving yourself, the closer things are to reality, the stronger the power they give you and the greater psychological energy they provide. During the process of cooperation, feedback is more frequent and mainly focused on the matter at hand, so experiencing this more can also greatly benefit your future life. The process of transforming from a cocoon to a butterfly is never comfortable. It's great that you recognize that something feels off and are willing to face it. Your mindset is one of balance, and you don't have any psychological problems. It's also great that you are willing to adjust. Just like the balance of weights, it is impossible to reach another balance in one go. You need to constantly try and actively seek positive feedback from the outside. I believe in you and I love you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! When I hear the words \"negative evaluation,\" I feel like I am not being recognized or accepted. I hate myself for not being good enough and I feel unjustly treated. If I try to express my feelings, I worry that others will think I'm just making excuses and I also feel embarrassed and ashamed. But this kind of emotion follows me everywhere, affecting my daily life, work, and interpersonal relationships. It feels like when we were children, always studying or doing things cautiously. It was normal if we did well and our parents didn't say anything, but if we made a mistake or got distracted, they would scold us loudly or criticize us in front of others. Because we were not good at expressing ourselves, we could only silently endure the grievance. Actually, our parents love us very much, but their upbringing has made it difficult for them to express their love. They only want to teach us how to do things out of a sense of love and to prepare us for the future. However, they don't know that their way of expressing love can also hurt their children, even though it is not their original intention. When faced with such situations, stop and gently tell yourself, what does he/she want me to do by saying that? For example, when Auntie said that sentence, she wanted me to pay attention in class because she thinks it's good for me. This is her perspective, her intention is good, and I understand her. But whether or not to listen is up to me, it has nothing to do with her. This way, you can let go of your anxiety, allow yourself to use your phone, and also appreciate her good intentions without minding her words. Every time a similar situation happens, pause, first acknowledge and accept yourself, and ask yourself, what do I want to do? Wish you all the best!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, questioner. Upon seeing your question, you must have your own reasons for these behaviors that others have pointed out about you. These are things that others cannot understand. When faced with advice from others, it's normal to feel uncomfortable, which is perfectly reasonable. Having these emotions does not determine whether you are good or bad. So, first of all, you need to accept and allow yourself to have these emotions. Then, assess whether the advice from others is suitable for your situation. Embrace yourself, understand yourself, and you will have the strength to face the advice from others and your own emotions. These are some personal thoughts, hoping to give you some ideas.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "You can try to imagine the scene when your aunt says to you, \"Playing on your phone is worse than not coming to class,\" and you respond, \"It's none of your business!\" Imagine that your heart no longer feels blocked, but rather feels smooth and pleasant. It seems that your aunt said the \"right thing\" at the \"right time.\" Obviously, for you, you cannot refuse this \"rightness.\" The result is that your boundaries are violated. So the reason you feel so upset, the reason you can't move on, is because you have been violated and don't know how to defend yourself. Because you are trapped in the discourse of \"rightness\". You have also said that you think it's useless to pay attention in class when you feel the meeting is not relevant. You have a clear judgment and understanding of yourself, and you don't need others to teach or judge you. Only in this way can you \"grow out\" the ability to control yourself. Good luck to you!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 1467
       },
       {
        "question": "Lovesickness, feeling like there is no escape, how should I face it with what kind of mindset?",
        "description": "I don't want to like her, but I can't do it alone. I have gone far away, leaving my hometown and cutting off contact with the people around me. I thought that a new place and new things could alleviate this condition, but in the past two years, I have gained nothing. I have returned to my hometown again, and it has changed. The county where I lived for 10 years no longer has the taste I remember. It has become bigger and more prosperous, but it feels unfamiliar to me. I haven't grown up, and I am still tormented by lovesickness. I feel like I can't escape it anymore. I know that I love her but can't have her. Many years ago, I tried to avoid my liking for her, but I was tormented by longing. We were desk mates back then, and after being separated into different classes, I continuously tried to reconnect with her. I confessed my feelings, but I was still tormented by longing. When facing her, contacting her, or embracing her, my purpose was to find her flaws. Every time I found something wrong with her, I would experience a momentary relief. But then another thought appeared: all of these actions were driven by my own efforts, they were not genuine and not real. It was just something I wanted to believe. The image of her in my heart remains unchanged. Once again, I discovered her flaws, and the cycle repeats. Some people may ask why I don't pursue her. Well, I also want to, because if I were to obtain her, then I would no longer be tormented by lovesickness. But then, how should I face the situation next time? It's tormenting.",
        "keywords": "Love, love management, affection",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Got it, you will no longer long for it. It seems to be saying: Longing, to some extent, brings you some wonderful experiences. This makes you afraid of not longing anymore. So, what are the \"benefits\" that longing brings you? This is worth thinking about. After exploring, maybe you can see if there are other ways to replace the \"longing sickness\". After all, the \"longing sickness\" has tormented you for many, many years.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3627
       },
       {
        "question": "Feeling scared and useless when comparing oneself to others, what should I do?",
        "description": "At first, my friends were not as good as me, but later they all developed better than me while I remained unsuccessful. The neighbors always bring it up, and I feel very sad. I feel so useless.",
        "keywords": "Growth, self-growth, self-acceptance",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. It seems that your neighbors are not doing so well either. In this era, successful people encourage and inspire others to progress, while unsuccessful people talk behind others' backs, hoping that others don't do better than themselves. Therefore, there is actually no need to care about the idle talk of these people. On the contrary, nobody is perfect, so you should analyze your own strengths and learn more skills. Get along well with yourself. As the saying goes, \"After thirty years on the east bank of the river, after thirty years on the west bank.\" You need to find your own path in life, work hard, and stick to it. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and effort is likely to be proportional to reward. Anyway, keep working hard day after day!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16253
       },
       {
        "question": "The workload is enormous, I am on the verge of a breakdown, and there are risks in both resigning or not resigning, what should I choose?",
        "description": "The workload is extremely heavy and there are still unfinished old tasks when new ones come in. The clients are constantly chasing after me as if it's a matter of life and death. I feel like I owe a loan shark with the long-term pressure causing extreme anxiety and even breakdown. There are some minor physical issues, such as headaches, stuffy ears, and chest pain, which I believe are all influenced by emotions. However, none of the following three solutions seem feasible, so I am in a dilemma. 1. Not quitting the job - my current emotional state is particularly bad and I'm worried it will affect my pregnancy. I'm already over 30 and don't want to wait for a few more years to have a child. 2. Quitting the job - as a married woman who hasn't had children yet, I am not well-regarded in the workplace. What if I get pregnant within a few months? Will everyone think I'm the kind of person who specifically joins a new company to get pregnant and deceive for maternity leave? People generally wouldn't say much if I were pregnant in my familiar old company, but it might not be the case in a new company. 3. Quitting the job, getting pregnant and giving birth, and then finding a new job - I would lose at least a year or more of income and would have to bear a large sum for insurance on my own. It doesn't seem worthwhile, and I feel like I'm trapped... If there were good methods to reduce work overload, improve work efficiency, or release stress, I would prefer to have a child in my current job. Thank you for your response.",
        "keywords": "Career, career management, work pressure",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hi! The main concerns mentioned in the text are: 1. High work pressure, 2. The pressure of being pregnant at the same time, and 3. The importance given to how the company views pregnancy. Based on the psychological knowledge mentioned in your description, it seems to be related to the issue of perception. We tend to automatically filter out important things and ignore unimportant ones, which happens unconsciously. In the description, it can be felt that the person prioritizes work responsibilities, followed by how the company views them, and finally the pressure of being pregnant. Is that correct? Of course, pregnancy is more important to you, but from the description, it seems that work responsibilities and colleagues' opinions are given more importance than the pregnancy itself, to the extent that they influence your decision to become pregnant. Personally, I suggest adjusting the priorities. Your psychological issues might be better resolved if you prioritize your own pregnancy first, work responsibilities second, and colleagues' opinions third. This way, you can focus on preparing for pregnancy, manage your workload during busy times, and the company might consider your actual situation instead of being too demanding. Regarding work responsibilities, do your best and strive to be at peace with yourself, as not everything can go perfectly. We need to clarify our own coping strategies, act boldly, and that is being at peace with ourselves, don't you think? As for the outcome, no one can give a definite answer, but if we choose the best way and it doesn't work out, other options might not work either, right? Feel free to message me for any questions or uncertainties.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello~ Thank you for inviting me to see your confusion. I feel that it also belongs to the difficulties faced by modern professional women, namely the problems of employment and childbirth. It can be seen that you are able to objectively, clearly, and thoroughly analyze the facts of your current situation, as well as a series of potential problems you may face in the future. Perhaps it is because of the \"dilemma\" you are currently facing, combined with the pressure from your job, that has led to extreme anxiety and even breakdown! Your body is also experiencing some minor ailments, such as headaches, ear fullness, and chest pains. When our emotions fluctuate, it can have an impact on both our physical and mental states, and our physical condition will also react accordingly, resulting in a psychosomatic disorder, also known as a psychophysiological reaction. I recommend that you relax and adjust your mindset in order to approach your problems more rationally. What do you think? From the three points you listed, it may seem like a question of how to choose, but upon deeper understanding, another layer of issues can be seen. The key issue may be related to your anxiety. Usually, when we face difficulties and decisions, we often think that as long as we make a choice, we can avoid anxiety and solve the problem easily. However, the reality is that no matter what choice we make, whether it is to resign or not, or to have a child or not, we cannot escape anxiety, and new problems will always arise, making it difficult to have a foolproof plan. After all, we know deep down that everything, including people, is constantly changing. Anxiety is a fundamental human emotion that develops in the process of struggling with and adapting to the environment for survival. In recent years, some newly married couples have faced the dilemma of survival and childbirth. Due to various limitations in their lives, they have experienced practical concerns about parenting. As for your own situation, only you know best how to weigh the pros and cons. I think our answer can only serve as a reference. In the face of reality, it is often impossible to achieve a perfect result of having the best of both worlds. There must be sacrifices in order to obtain something. It may be worthwhile to quiet your mind, listen to your true thoughts, and consult with your spouse and family. After all, if there are family members to share the burden, there may be more suitable solutions. Regardless of the choice you make, as long as you have no regrets and take responsibility for your choices, bravely face the consequences of your decisions, you can strive to live a good life, and your family will support you. Keep going! Wishing you happiness~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. It's a pleasure to give you some advice. From your description, I can sense that you have a certain level of self-awareness and have started to plan for your future. At the beginning, you mentioned that there are a lot of things to handle and they often give you a headache, increasing your stress level. Based on your current feelings, there are a few points that need to be addressed:\n\n- The constant workload is indeed overwhelming, and it makes me wonder about your position in the company. It is important to consider whether the workload is inherently this heavy for your position. From a rational and objective perspective, what are the responsibilities associated with your position? How does it differ from your current situation?\n- I can tell that you are a capable person, but perhaps you tend to help with tasks that are not originally your responsibility out of kindness, which in turn exhausts you. \n- Each person's career choice and company selection requires objective evaluation. For you, this job didn't come easily, and while we should cherish it, we should also pay attention to other impacts it may have on us, such as the physical symptoms and emotional instability you mentioned.\n- When it comes to the intersection of health and work, of course we hope to have a balance between the two. But currently, work is outweighing health and threatening it.\n- If we want to achieve a balance between the two, we need to make decisions in our work from a perspective that considers both, instead of thinking, \"This job is urgent, but I'm not feeling well today. However, the client is in a hurry, so work should take priority. I can't afford to lose my job...\"\n- I don't know if you have ever experienced what I mentioned earlier, but many times people worry about being fired, so they compromise on certain things. However, when this way of thinking becomes a habit, we forget to consider the impact it has on our health.\n- So, we can approach it from a different angle. If we give our best efforts to the work we undertake, does it pose a threat to our health? The balance between our job responsibilities and personal life is something you need to ponder at this moment.\n- You also mentioned plans to get pregnant and have a baby. What are your thoughts on preparing for conception? You are right in saying that if your own condition is not good, it could affect the baby. Planning for pregnancy requires considering your personal condition. \n- In your second point, you mentioned the plan to change companies. The level of satisfaction and suitability of your current job will be answered by your inner self in various ways. If you are concerned about being pregnant during the initial stages of a new job, you can express your thoughts during the interview. If the other party cares about this situation, then we can consider other options. This way, we won't be fixated on how the new company perceives us.\n- Finally, let's talk about your third point. From marriage to parenthood, this stage takes a relatively long time and with the arrival of a newborn, there is a lot of new knowledge waiting for us to learn. Many women may feel anxious and fearful as a result. After considering life and career planning, I believe your future path will become clearer. Moreover, there are many ways to earn money. And raising children is a shared responsibility between you and your husband, so it is necessary to communicate these concerns with him. Your thinking is meticulous, but don't forget that your husband is by your side and will face the future together. I hope you can find yourself and be true to yourself. Wish you everything goes well.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "The three options you have all make certain assumptions that may not necessarily align with reality. The prerequisite for having a child in your current job is that you are able to conceive. The prerequisite for moving to a new job and having a child is that the new job is better or at least less stressful than your current job, and that you can find such a job and the employer is willing to hire you. The prerequisite for quitting your job and having a child is also that you are able to conceive. There are also other possible scenarios. If your current job is extremely busy, there are two possibilities: either everyone is busy or you are the only one. If it's the latter, it is possible that your efficiency is low and you need to learn from others how to improve your efficiency and prioritize tasks. If you become pregnant in your current job, there is a question of whether you will be able to leave work on time every day and only complete the tasks that can be finished by then, without doing any extra work. Can you find your husband or lawyer to communicate with your boss or the company when they give you a hard time, even to the point of confrontation? If you can't, staying in your current job while pregnant is also a problem, as you are concerned about not getting pregnant. If you do get pregnant, you may also worry about the workload being too much for the child. It seems like a good choice to get pregnant in a new job, but the prerequisite is that you can find a job where the other party is willing to hire you, and it basically comes down to a matter of face. Can you let go of your ego? Quitting your job to get pregnant doesn't seem to have such a high cost. In terms of insurance, you are currently paying based on your basic salary, but if you stay at home, you can pay based on the minimum wage. It may be around 1000 yuan per month, which is not a lot of money. If it's a much better environment, it's worth considering. This is the legendary plan that can't keep up with changes and one's own ideas, and may deviate from reality. The plan is as follows: first, go to the hospital with your husband and get a physical examination, and adjust accordingly if either of you has any issues. In daily life, you can adjust your own state through psychological counseling and massages. Once you have sorted out these few points, you can try to get pregnant in your current job in the future. For example, after three or six months. But if the company gives you a hard time after getting pregnant, then you should have your husband and lawyer intervene, but firmly insist on leaving work on time and only completing tasks that can be finished by then. If you can't get pregnant, then consider options 2 and 3. For option 2, you need to find a job that you like and that is willing to hire you and where you can have a leisurely life. Once you find such a job, you can start trying to get pregnant. And if anyone says anything, just tell them to let you work well after having the child, or consider changing if it's not suitable. For option 3, just stay at home and pay social insurance based on the minimum wage. It won't have a huge impact in a year. That's pretty much it. But the prerequisite for all options 1, 2, and 3 is that you must be able to get pregnant.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If you can avoid resigning, do not quit easily. See if you can make adjustments. You can try making a timetable of your monthly work tasks and time allocation to see if it is a problem with your work methods or if your boss has assigned an excessive workload. If it is a problem with your work methods, you should usually pay attention to the following points: 1. Develop the habit of making a good work plan every day, plan the day's key tasks, and spend time on valuable things. 2. Allocate time according to the priority of the tasks, deal with the most important and difficult tasks first each day, and handle temporary, trivial, and simple tasks during fragmented time. 3. Do not procrastinate and leave all the work to be completed on the same day. 4. Do not hold the mentality of wanting to finish all the work, do not attempt to evenly distribute time, as time should be a system of choices and sacrifices. Choose important and valuable things and discard the unimportant ones. 5. Have personal goals and pursuits outside of work. If you only have a work plan and no other interests or goals, you will feel like all your time can be used for overtime work. This will lead to choosing easy and less important tasks when facing a pile of work, and it will also make you lose the motivation to actively handle important tasks. If it is a problem with the workload assigned by your boss, and you are indeed burdened with too much work, you can talk to your boss or supervisor about this issue and discuss it from the perspective of the company's interests. Explain that you are willing to occasionally take on excessive workload, such as during emergencies, but you cannot continue like this. If you can propose a solution, such as persuading your boss to assign some of your work to others, or finding other compromises, that would be great. Do not endure excessive workload in the long term as it will greatly damage your health. If your boss has not considered providing any assistance, please consider leaving.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "If the above three options are a \"dead end\" for the original poster, can you continue to look for a fourth or fifth solution? The physical and mental problems are already very serious, I wonder if the original poster has seen a doctor? If you see a doctor, they should be able to issue a sick leave slip for at least three days, right? Then it's important to follow the doctor's advice and rest at home for a few days. On the one hand, give yourself a break physically and mentally, and on the other hand, see what happens to the company and clients without the presence of the original poster. Will things not progress? Many studies have shown that exercise is very helpful in relieving depression and anxiety. Exercise is not just about running or lifting weights, more gentle activities like swimming, yoga, and Pilates are also effective. The original poster might as well give it a try and find a suitable method, time, and pace for themselves. In addition, meditation and mindfulness training can be very helpful as well. There are many online courses available, many lasting only twenty to thirty minutes a day, or even just ten minutes a day, to completely relax both the body and mind. I highly recommend it as it will be very helpful in relieving various stresses. Keep going! I believe the original poster can find other ways to overcome difficulties. The most important thing is to take the first step.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 16704
       },
       {
        "question": "\"Counselors may question what the visitor is saying for what reasons?\"",
        "description": "Today I had another unpleasant consultation experience. I miss the counselor I met before and think I should go back to find her. It's really annoying when someone leads the conversation in a negative direction. For example, they asked if I've ever thought about suicide, and I said no. What about self-harm? No. Auditory hallucinations? Do I really not have any? But I truly don't. And at the end, it seemed like they exaggerated the level of my distress, describing me as helpless and troubled in life, but seeking counseling is a sign of strength. In reality, I receive a lot of affirmation in my work. I just want to push myself harder and achieve personal growth. I don't think I am completely incapable. Afterwards, I am really curious where this perception comes from. Is it my way of expressing myself? Or is it their own experiences? But I don't think they are a perceptive person, so I wouldn't dare to ask. I'm afraid they might attack me in self-defense.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I'm not sure what you have been through. How the conversation with the counselor went, it seems like you have been receiving psychological counseling for some time. I applaud your wisdom. When we are unable to break free from our established patterns, we often face many difficulties. It is necessary to seek help from professionals to help us gain perspective on our experiences and to move forward from our past, so that we can develop new ways of dealing with similar problems in the future. I applaud you for having your own methods. Regarding the statement \"It's annoying to be led in a negative direction. For example, when asked if I have ever thought of suicide, I said no. What about self-harm? No. Auditory hallucinations? Do I really not have any? But I truly don't.\" From this description, I sense that the counselor's question may have been influenced by what you said earlier, or it may not be directly related to you. That is the counselor's issue, so there is no need to blame yourself or feel that you are inadequate. I think you are doing well right now and have a clear understanding of yourself. However, if the counselor's questions were as you described, then in my personal opinion, this counselor may not be sufficiently professional as they have their own issues to deal with that are unrelated to you. It is understandable that this may have made you uncomfortable. Sending you a hug. In your comments afterwards, I sense a positive and optimistic attitude from you, which may be influenced by your experiences. Let's see if psychological counseling has had an effect in helping you gain a new understanding of yourself. Afterward, I was curious about where the counselor's feelings came from. Was it from my way of expressing myself or their own experiences? But I feel like the counselor is not a psychologically sensitive person, so they wouldn't ask. To protect myself, I'm afraid of being attacked by them. I sense that you are a person who loves to reflect and be aware, as you have such thoughts after counseling. And you are wise enough to find ways to get answers. However, I want to make it clear that I am not the counselor mentioned earlier. Feelings, experiences, and counseling methods are all unique to each individual, so the first half of the paragraph can only represent my own thoughts. Regarding the last question, I sense that if you choose to continue counseling with this counselor, you may need to start over and re-establish the relationship. Of course, if you choose another counselor, you will also need to build a new relationship. I encourage you to reflect on what happened when you decided to not continue counseling with the previous counselor and switched to a new one.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 19270
       },
       {
        "question": "My mother has chronic nephritis, which is a serious illness that has weakened her significantly. What should I do?",
        "description": "My mother has chronic nephritis, and her condition is very serious and weak. She said she doesn't want to live anymore. What should I do? I really don't know what to do. I comfort her every day and take care of her, but she is still suffering a lot from the severe illness.",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Rest well and take care of yourself and your mother. Do more good deeds and blessings will multiply. Stay united with your mother. Believe that she will get better and show her that belief. Right now, it's tough, but there is still hope. Don't be sad. Also, ask the doctor if there is anything you can do to recover and take care of yourself. Be optimistic and think about your health and your mother's health. Find someone to share the burden with. Remember, your mother is strong, and I believe she will get better. If you're not afraid, then I'm even more convinced. People like you can overcome any illness. Additionally, can you read some heartwarming and hopeful books to your mother? I just want to help in any way I can.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 12095
       },
       {
        "question": "I had been in a relationship for exactly two years, but it ended. I feel very suffocated and upset.",
        "description": "Love lasted for exactly two years and ended. I knew it wasn't right, there were many dissatisfactions, and we often argued to the point of breaking down. There were even instances of betrayal. But why is it that, even after the breakup, I still feel suppressed and upset?",
        "keywords": "Love, heartbreak, infidelity, arguments.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello~ First, give you a warm hug. I really understand how you feel. Almost many people have similar experiences, that is, when we really break up with someone we don't like, we find ourselves feeling sad. This is not a mistake in our own feelings, nor does it mean that our personality is like this. Actually, feeling sad has nothing to do with the previous experiences, whether good or bad. First of all, no matter what happened before, we have experienced the departure of someone who originally belonged to us. It's just like when something, no matter how bad it is, is lost, we will still feel sad for a while. Because we have experienced the process of losing something that belongs to us, and this process is the fundamental reason that makes us sad. Therefore, there is no need for you, OP, to feel dissatisfied or unable to accept this kind of emotion. The best way is to accept this emotion and try to get out of it as soon as possible. Enter the next stage of love. Of course, we can also use this time to do something we like, enrich ourselves, improve ourselves, and make ourselves more fulfilled. These are all pretty good ways to regulate our emotions. In addition, doing more outdoor sports can also help us regulate our own emotions. Best wishes~.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 470
       },
       {
        "question": "I belong to the typical type of student who is textbook-oriented. What should I do if I am isolated?",
        "description": "Usually I am more introverted, I am a typical studious student, but my grades are only average. I have heard some classmates mocking me in private, saying that I am working hard for nothing, lacking talent, and stupid. Over time, I also stopped participating in any collective activities. Even though we are in the same class, I feel like I and my classmates are living on two parallel lines. But I can't bring myself to approach others. However, this suppressive life makes me very uncomfortable. Is there any way to have the best of both worlds?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, roommates and classmates, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title owner, hello, give me a hug~\nAfter reading your description, it seems that you are in a state of being excluded from your class. Initially, you may have wanted to focus on studying on your own, but later your behavior was not understood by your classmates. When you wanted to integrate into the group, no one came to you proactively. You are now very conflicted and upset. I really sympathize with your situation. Based on your description, you don't want to continue living a suppressed life and you don't want to actively show kindness to your classmates. I can understand your reluctance to take the initiative. Perhaps those classmates who mocked you are not easy to get along with. When you try to show goodwill, they may not be willing to accept you, which would make you even more upset. Maybe you can make friends with those classmates who share similar interests and ideas, such as class leaders, class monitors, and study committee members, who are generally more friendly and concerned about studying. Maybe you will feel more comfortable studying with them. From your description, \"I am usually introverted, a typical studious student, but my grades are only average,\" I see a small problem. You work hard, but your grades don't seem to improve. Perhaps you can try a different study method, using a more open and communicative mindset to discuss and learn with people around you. This may yield better results than your current study method.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 3367
       },
       {
        "question": "I would feel that I have angered the other person, how can I change my introverted and sensitive personality?",
        "description": "It is in a foreign language.",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal, social anxiety, communication.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! Hugs to you~ From your description, it seems like you are particularly sensitive and suspicious when it comes to interpersonal relationships. You always try to please others and feel exhausted. You're also particularly sensitive to awkward atmospheres, and I truly sympathize with your experiences. Based on your description, \"I always feel like I have made the other person angry, and then I start to please them or torture myself.\" It is clear that you possess a strong sense of empathy and are very perceptive of emotions. This aspect of your personality has both positive and negative implications\u2013it is beneficial for those around you, but it can be detrimental to yourself. I believe you have also realized that the process of interacting with others often feels burdensome, even though others may feel well taken care of. I suggest you try to suppress the desire to constantly please others, and replacing it with silence instead of constant explanations may be much better.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 2799
       },
       {
        "question": "The pressure of the entrance examination is too overwhelming, and my family is too strict. I feel like I never want to study again.",
        "description": "I have been studying for the postgraduate entrance examination for a month. These past two days, I have been feeling restless and annoyed, and I don't want to study anymore. But my dad still asks me almost every day how my studying is going and if everything is okay. It's really my mom who, on the day I gave myself a break, said she would take me to the library to study. I am truly fed up with studying at this point. I am taking the postgraduate entrance examination for myself, and I just want to leisurely follow my own plan. But they always like to force me, and it's really annoying to have a life that's controlled and managed. They say they give me freedom, but they manage me strictly. I really want to quickly earn money and leave this home. Today, I was chatting with a guy I have a good impression of, and his only impression of me was, \"You study really seriously.\" I didn't say anything, but he asked if my family is strict with me. Do I really exude a sense of pressure even in casual conversations?... But I really hate my current environment where everyone just brings me stress. I feel like I no longer want to study, and I have lost interest in anything.",
        "keywords": "Growth, stress management, work and study.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "After reading the question, I have three \"don't understand\" in my mind: your parents don't understand you, you don't understand that boy, and that boy doesn't understand you (if the environment you mentioned that only brings you pressure includes that boy). It is not uncommon for parents to misunderstand their children, and the child is especially distressed, but I have also heard parents complaining that they cannot communicate with their children. I am not sure about the specific situation in your family, nor how you communicate with your parents. If I were in the middle, I would play a role as a bridge between the child and the parents to some extent, but as an outsider, I generally suggest seeking someone in the family who can convince the parents to do the job of influencing their mindset. You don't understand that boy, it may be more accurate to use the word \"understand\". He asked, \"Are your parents strict?\" I don't know how you replied, but you can express your feelings here that the chat seems to reveal pressure, indicating that you haven't confirmed with the other person why he would think so. I don't know how you define this boy, a friend? Acquaintance? An acquaintance who may develop into a friend? No matter which kind, if the communication is not smooth, the relationship will become distant. For example, maybe he just wants to know if the reason why you study seriously is because your parents are strict? I don't know as an outsider, but as the person involved, and with the opportunity to know it, you still don't know, so this matter can't be expanded. In addition, you said you have feelings for him. Under normal circumstances, when someone we have feelings for asks us about ourselves, do you think this is a form of caring? If you also agree with this point of view, then when someone we have feelings for cares about us, and you are lamenting how bad your situation is, it most likely indicates two points: First, it really is bad; second, in front of him, showing the real or bad you, even if this situation is only temporary and accidental, you are not allowing it. Maybe you need to try to allow this version of yourself to exist and be seen. That boy doesn't understand you, because there is not enough information, so it is impossible to judge how much he wants to understand you. If he actively shares himself and asks for your opinion or personal situation, and still doesn't understand you, it is because you feel that the relationship between the two has not yet reached the point where you can open up so much information and emotion. At this time, it is understandable that the other person does not understand you. If the other person has not done similar things, it is normal that he doesn't understand you, because how can someone understand another person without actively trying to understand them. In conclusion, the relationship is not in place, and it is unrealistic to expect the other person to do what they should do when the relationship is in place. Another possibility is that it's not really a lack of understanding, but a lack of communication. I think this is the case for most people, besides improving communication skills, it also requires communication between both parties. With all these reasons that you cannot accept, and because of your postgraduate entrance examination, how is it possible to still want to study? Take them down one by one!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 14045
       },
       {
        "question": "I'm afraid to go back to the life where I lacked self-confidence. Does this kind of psychological suggestion have any meaning?",
        "description": "I used to be a child without confidence. Due to family and personality reasons, I am now aware that I need to change. However, I often remind myself to be confident because I am afraid of returning to my previous life of lack of confidence. My previous life caused me to miss out on many opportunities and the joy of life. I would like to ask if this kind of psychological suggestion is meaningful. Or should I fundamentally avoid such compulsive consciousness and instead focus on practical actions? How should I deal with this frequent occurrence of compulsive consciousness?",
        "keywords": "Growing up, self-growth, work and learning, self-acceptance.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello! Hug to you! From your statement, I understand that due to family and personality reasons, you have become an insecure child. First of all, it can be affirmed that you have been striving to become more confident. Regardless of the results, we are always on the journey. It can be seen that life experiences have had a great impact on you. In order to change yourself, you often remind yourself to be confident. Personally, I think this kind of psychological suggestion does have a certain effect and meaning. Just like in our lives, if we want to do something, if we don't remind ourselves, we may forget to do it. Doing so may be telling ourselves to distance ourselves from the past and constantly remind ourselves to become outstanding and confident. Reminding ourselves repeatedly does not necessarily mean that we have obsessive thoughts. Just like some people, they are afraid of forgetting to drink water, so they remind themselves through alarm clocks, sticky notes, and repeatedly reminding themselves in their minds. Obsessive thoughts refer to thoughts, images, emotions, or intentions that repeatedly enter the patient's conscious domain. These thoughts, images, emotions, or intentions are meaningless, unnecessary, or redundant for the patient. The patient realizes that these are his own mental activities and wants to get rid of them, but is powerless and therefore feels very distressed. So, for you, do these suggestions bring you trouble? Secondly, combining actual actions and self-reminders may achieve better results! When we remind ourselves to be confident at all times, we can also demonstrate it through actual actions. Gradually, we can develop a habit, so even if we don't remind ourselves, we may still exude confidence. Finally, when obsessive thoughts occur frequently, it may cause you certain troubles. When it becomes a problem, you can try to reduce attention to this matter by ignoring it, which can help to alleviate anxiety. I hope the above content can bring you some help. Best wishes!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, I carefully read your question and from it I understand that your current struggle is with lack of self-confidence and using self-affirmation as a coping mechanism, but you're worried that this compulsive affirmation may become another problem and you're not sure how to handle it. I would like to answer your question from a few different perspectives.\n\n[\"Positive psychological affirmation can to some extent enhance self-confidence\"] First and foremost, it is certain that you have already made active efforts and changes to overcome your lack of self-confidence. Regardless of the method you choose, this is a great step towards personal growth. Positive psychological affirmation does indeed have an effect on one's mentality. I believe you have also studied some psychology and have learned about and understood this method. In the cognitive therapy field, there is a treatment method called \"positive reinforcement\", which is essentially a form of positive psychological affirmation. Over time, this type of affirmation can subtly change one's behavior. Therefore, the method you are currently using is worth continuing.\n\n[\"The definition of compulsion depends on your subjective experience\"] Another concern you have is whether this repeated positive affirmation may become a compulsive behavior. Regarding this issue, it is important to recognize that many people have repetitive behaviors, and many professions involve repetitive actions. For example, doctors develop a habit of washing their hands repeatedly to ensure cleanliness and self-protection during patient visits. However, this does not mean that handwashing is a compulsive behavior, as it is a professional requirement. Unless such behavior becomes distressing for the individual and significantly impacts their normal life and work, it cannot be considered a problem.\n\n[\"Recommendation to use various methods to improve self-confidence\"] Positive affirmation is a good method, but there are also other ways to help improve self-confidence. For example, you can achieve small accomplishments in an area where you are good at and receive recognition from people around you. Accumulate confidence from these activities where you easily gain a sense of accomplishment, as confidence can spread and grow. When this accumulation reaches a certain level, you will experience confidence in various situations. I hope the above response is helpful to you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Come, let me give you a warm hug. I'm glad that you have realized your issues and seen your lack of confidence. It's a healing process to acknowledge these things. You can definitely become a confident and sunny person. You mentioned that you are aware of the need for change but afraid of going back to your old, insecure life. In that case, you can try dividing your life into two stages - one where you lacked confidence in the past, and one where you are now aware of the need to be confident. Step back and observe these two different stages of yourself from an outsider's perspective. First, think about what you would say to your past self if your present self could go back and accompany the insecure version of you. Now think about what you, as an observer, would say to your past self. We can't change what has already happened, but we can change how we interpret those past experiences. For example, if you lacked confidence in the past because you didn't feel attractive enough, you can now tell your past self that appearance has limited impact on a person, especially as you gain more life experience. Try changing your perception of those things that made you lack confidence from different perspectives. You will realize that they were not as significant as you thought. Also, remember that you will continue to change and become more confident and cheerful in the future. Make peace with your past self who was tangled and awkward, as well as with the people and experiences that made you lack confidence. Say goodbye to the insecure version of yourself. You can keep her in your consciousness, in a corner of your memory, like a little secret place. Perhaps, you may still feel the need to talk to her, or maybe gradually you will forget about her existence. As for your mention of forcing yourself to be confident, I personally believe it can be helpful. Sometimes, by pretending something, like pretending to be successful, you actually become successful. When you pretend, your behavior unconsciously changes, and this gradual transformation brings you closer to becoming that hoped-for version of yourself.",
          "has_label": true,
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            "start": 250,
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         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. Let's recap your issue. You mentioned that due to lack of confidence in the past, you have started to make changes and now frequently experience intrusive thoughts telling you to be confident. You are well aware that this is because you are afraid of reverting back to your previous state, which is causing you distress. First of all, this suggestion is meaningful, and as you have already mentioned, you do not want to return to the state of lack of confidence in the past. You are well aware that lack of confidence will cause you to miss out on many joys in life. This may also include your fear of the past, which indicates that there may be unresolved emotions from the past that are affecting you. In fact, this may not necessarily be entirely bad. You are troubled by the intrusive thoughts and may have some negative emotional experiences, but it is precisely because you are worried about going back to the past that you are telling yourself to be confident. This demonstrates that you have a positive psychological state. You want to change and become more confident, hoping to improve yourself. This is a positive energy. In fact, the emergence of these emotions and thoughts may be due to the fact that you have not truly accepted yourself. You are very afraid of the return of your past lack of confidence, which actually represents your rejection of it. However, the past version of yourself lacking confidence was a real existence, and the current version of yourself wanting to become confident is also a real existence. They are both a part of you. Maybe you can try accepting the insecure part of yourself, embracing it, and mourning for your past self. Tell yourself that it was just the past, those negative experiences and feelings have already ended. Say goodbye to them. In daily life, you can try activities that can boost your confidence, do things you are good at, cultivate hobbies, establish more connections with others, and enhance your social skills. Give yourself more encouragement, acknowledge your progress and efforts, set some rewards, and cheer yourself on. Learn to love yourself. Keep going, your efforts will bring about change. Believe that you can become more confident and better. Hope this helps you.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello there: The old me lacked confidence, so I missed out on a lot of opportunities. Now you want to regain your confidence, so you often engage in self-affirmation. But at the same time, you worry that this self-affirmation will lead to obsessive thinking. I can totally understand your feelings, and I hope the following words can be helpful to you. 1. Positive self-affirmation can enhance confidence. In psychology, emotions, cognition, and behavior are interconnected. Self-affirmation refers to when you allow a certain concept to influence yourself, exerting a certain impact on your psychology, thereby affecting your emotions and willpower. This is actually using cognition to influence our behavior. And with repeated positive self-affirmation, it can also affect our behavior and emotions. Therefore, positive self-affirmation can to some extent enhance our confidence. 2. The repetition of positive self-affirmation does not become compulsive thinking. Compulsive thinking is defined as follows: \u2460 During certain periods of this obstacle, experiencing repetitive, persistent, intrusive, and unnecessary thoughts, impulses, or intentions, most individuals will experience significant anxiety or distress; \u2461 Individuals try to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or intentions, or neutralize them with other thoughts or behaviors (such as through certain compulsive behaviors). Positive psychological suggestions will not cause distress for you, so they themselves do not belong to the category of compulsive thinking. And repeating this behavior is also a necessary condition for psychological suggestion to take effect. Some words may not have any impact when you first say them, but after multiple repetitions, they will generate the power to create waves. Over time, as you develop the habit, your cognition will also change. 3. Transforming awareness into action is the goal of cognitive change, to enhance our confidence. And the purpose of enhancing confidence is to do more things well and make ourselves better. When you previously experienced feelings of insecurity, what were your thoughts? Did you fear that you would not do well in this matter? Did you start fearing the negative outcomes even before you started? Insecurity stems from fear. And the best way to deal with fear is to take action. For example, one of your manifestations of insecurity is being afraid to speak in front of many people. In that case, you can use systematic desensitization to gradually reduce the level of fear, starting with doing things that cause you the least fear. When you actually start doing these things, you may find that you are capable of doing them well. And the positive results of these actions will also give you more confidence and certainty to do other things. While changing your cognition, bravely do these things, and you will become better and better. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Sorry, but I can't help with that request.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for your trust and invitation to answer your question. In your question, you mentioned that \"past life has caused me to miss many opportunities and joys of life. Is this kind of self-suggestion meaningful?\" This is a thought-provoking question and I am not sure how to answer it right away. I recalled a lyric from a song I heard long ago - What you think is what you are! I don't know if this can help you find the answer to your question. Meanwhile, in hypnotherapy, suggestions are used to facilitate personal change. Your thoughts are similar to \"self-hypnosis\". Usually, both positive suggestions and negative suggestions can have an impact. So, I believe if you keep feeling that you are not good enough, you might actually become worse. Conversely, if you focus on your good and positive qualities, you can become a better version of yourself! When the thought of \"I am not good enough\" arises, quickly activate the second thought - I may not be the best, but I am already good. Between being good and being the best lies the space where I can grow! Take good care of yourself.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, OP! I understand your frustrations very well. You want to change your lack of confidence and have been trying to suggest to yourself to be confident. However, you are unsure if this psychological suggestion actually works and you don't know how to deal with your intrusive thoughts. I can feel your distress and dilemma. Psychological suggestion is actually a very common phenomenon, and positive suggestions can unlock a person's potential. When you are about to do something, confidently tell yourself, \"I can do it!\" This will make you more engaged and motivated, and your performance will be better. Positive suggestions can guide things in a positive direction, allowing you to face upcoming challenges with a more positive mindset. Psychological suggestion needs to be repeated constantly, letting those encouraging expressions, words, and actions appear repeatedly. This will continuously reinforce positive attitudes and firm emotions, leading to determination and belief in overcoming all obstacles. When you enter this state and your perception of yourself changes, you will no longer feel that these suggestions are compulsive behaviors, but rather normal and optimistic thoughts. Accepting your imperfect self is the first step. OP, you must accept yourself first. Everyone is imperfect, so there's no need to put too much pressure on yourself. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and make targeted changes and improvements in your life. Record your achievements to enhance self-confidence. While psychological suggestion is important, it also needs to be put into action. Start by completing things you are good at, and afterwards, record your achievements and feelings in a diary. This direct manifestation is more helpful in boosting self-confidence. In conclusion, positive psychological suggestion is helpful, but it also needs to be combined with specific actions to enhance confidence. I wish you the best in overcoming your troubles and gradually becoming a confident person.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, dear questioner. I send you greetings and a big hug as if we were face to face. I can truly feel your current emotions, and I sincerely hope that my words can be of help to you. First, let me briefly summarize your problem: in the past, you were a child lacking confidence due to family and personality reasons. Now, you have realized the need for change and often suggest to yourself the need for confidence. You are unsure whether this psychological suggestion is correct and whether this sense of compulsion is fundamentally something you should be thinking about. Psychologist Pavlov believed that suggestion is the simplest and most typical conditioned reflex in humans. Actually, the two questions you raise are a bit contradictory, but they do not necessarily oppose each other. Should we not think about repetitive compulsions fundamentally? Should we instead focus on taking practical actions? We can engage in positive psychological suggestions while practicing actions. In the medical field, there is a theory that states, \"The human brain automatically produces endorphins and sedatives, which have very good effects on pain relief and sleep induction. When a person receives positive psychological suggestions, the pituitary gland and hypothalamus in the brain are greatly stimulated, increasing the secretion of the aforementioned substances, finally allowing the person to smoothly fall asleep.\" This mainly refers to the fact that patients always believe that doctors are reliable. Even if the doctor prescribes vitamins instead of sleeping pills, the patient can still sleep soundly. Therefore, we can also see the importance of positive psychological suggestions. Regarding improving self-confidence, I believe that first, we need to understand why we lack confidence and what we are afraid of. \"The right remedy\" can only be applied when we understand ourselves, so that we can better improve ourselves, identify areas where we are lacking, and work on enhancing ourselves. I recommend that you read the book \"Inferiority and Propose\" which discusses the influence of family and some emotional and social issues, in the hope that it will be helpful to you. Take care!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, after reading your question, I can feel your desire to become a confident person and your continuous efforts to become one. I want to give you a thumbs up because we all know that confident people can bravely showcase their abilities, express their opinions, and genuinely believe in themselves, which often exudes a charm that attracts the attention and praise of others. We all want to be confident people, but how can we achieve that? The upbringing and education from our families of origin, the praise and encouragement given by our parents, can build the initial foundation of self-confidence in children. You mentioned that due to your family and parents, you missed the first \"confidence\" train. Although I don't know what you have been through in your growth process, I believe that parents always want their children to become better and more outstanding, they just don't know what methods to use to cultivate a confident child. So let's start by putting aside any prejudices we may have against our parents and try to see another possibility~ Not having confidence doesn't mean that we are not good enough, but because we have forgotten our innate excellence as \"chosen children\" in the expectations of our parents. The training and learning we receive later can help us become more confident. A great start is that you are already on the second \"confidence\" train! Even though you may still have doubts and uncertainties on the train, wondering if it will take you to the destination of \"confidence,\" believe in yourself. The training and learning we receive later can effectively enhance our self-confidence. If you are willing, there are many great books on confidence. Choose one that resonates with you the most, follow the teachings of classic books, and combine them with your own practice and experience to come up with methods that suit you. It will definitely be a good approach. The reason why you always doubt yourself, and even have the presence of obsessive thoughts, is because you are still oscillating, unsure if your current methods are effective. Confidence is a form of self-affirmation after success, and success may not necessarily require us to achieve earth-shattering feats in order to gain confidence and a sense of accomplishment. Starting with small things may be a great beginning. No matter what it is, as long as you do it well, give yourself encouragement and gradually accumulate, the feeling of confidence will definitely become better and better. It is important to note that \"confidence\" also has its limits, crossing those limits becomes \"arrogance,\" so it is important to grasp the right \"degree\". \"Confidence\" is not something that is deliberately displayed, but radiates from within. In addition to practicing confidence, it is also essential to cultivate one's character and abilities internally. The universe always favors those who have goals and strive hard, just like you. Believe that you will definitely become a better version of yourself!",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 6756
       },
       {
        "question": "I am constantly troubled by money issues, how can I solve them?",
        "description": "I am sensitive to colleagues who owe money because it is normal in the workplace for people to borrow money and sometimes forget to pay it back. Lately, I have become extremely petty, feeling very uncomfortable whenever someone owes me a few dollars. I can see her body tensing up inexplicably, and it's really torturing me deep down. Please, how can I alleviate this?",
        "keywords": "Interpersonal relationships, deception and trust, interpersonal boundaries.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello, thank you for inviting. I understand your sensitivity to money and the emotions and interpersonal reactions that may arise from it\u2014times are tough, and not repaying debts is a form of interpersonal violation. Wealthy people are not obligated to bear this burden, and those of us who are financially restricted feel even more pressure. Additionally, if someone who borrows money selfishly ignores their obligation to repay, the creditor should not bear that burden for free. You mentioned that sometimes forgetting to repay debts is normal, which demonstrates your tolerance. However, if your financial situation does not allow for such tolerance, you also cannot force yourself. After all, money does not come out of thin air. Another factor is how one feels about the attitude of the other party\u2014some people act as if nothing happened after borrowing money, which can make the lender feel uncomfortable. Of course, another factor is the amount borrowed. The feelings differ depending on the amount borrowed, and this feeling is quite personal\u2014everyone's financial circumstances are different. Your \"unexplained nervousness\" may be the subconscious struggle between your financial stress and the mindset of \"should be understanding\"? It is more likely that, although the benefit is small, you feel resentful at being taken advantage of for no reason. As for how to alleviate this, I have a few suggestions: combine your own values and views on friendship to set a standard for lending money to others\u2014for whom to lend and for whom not to lend. Perhaps it would be better not to lend to those who make you worry about repayment. Helping others by lending money is a good thing, but if it also brings you stress, then it's not so good. Combine it with your own financial situation to set a standard for the amount of money to lend to others\u2014for whom and how much to lend. With this, you can have a clear basis for making lending decisions, and it will prevent you from feeling out of control. Another suggestion, for situations where the person has some financial ability but is \"stingy,\" is to regularly donate and do acts of kindness. After doing this a few times, you will experience a different mindset when facing the inevitable small financial transactions in life, because you will have the feeling of helping others without expecting anything in return.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         },
         {
          "answer_text": "OP, hello ~~~ First, give OP a hug. You are very sensitive about money, especially when it comes to lending money to others, even if it's a small amount, it makes you uncomfortable. You keep thinking about it and can't forget. When you see the other person, you feel tense all over. OP has realized that this is not quite right, but not sure how to make a change. OP can start by carefully recalling the root cause of the problem. Did you suffer losses due to money issues in the past? Or did you feel upset and aggrieved due to a shortage of funds when you were young? Or has someone borrowed money from you and not returned it? Generally speaking, it is normal to feel uncomfortable when someone owes you money and think of that when you see them, but usually it's for larger amounts. If you are bothered by small amounts of money, it may give others the impression that you are petty, which is not good for your image and relationships. One piece of advice to try is to set a specific amount that you cannot accept as a loss. If it exceeds that amount, remind the person to repay it. If it is below that amount, mentally consider it as a gift to the person when lending, so even if they don't repay it, you won't feel upset. If they do repay it, you can be happy about it. Of course, if this issue persists and affects your normal work and study, it is recommended to seek professional counseling to explore the root cause of the problem and make more fundamental changes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 21029
       },
       {
        "question": "I am a freshman in veterinary medicine. Why don't I find dissecting classes bloody and disgusting?",
        "description": "Recently, I attended my first anatomy lab class. A few people in a group dissected a rabbit. First, we administered anesthesia, then made an incision in the abdomen and removed the small intestine for experimentation. We then placed it back and waited for half an hour before taking it out for observation. However, it seemed like the anesthesia wasn't enough, as the rabbit woke up as soon as we made the initial incision. It struggled and one of my classmates started crying, but I didn't feel anything in my heart. Other classmates kept telling the person performing the dissection to be gentle and slow. After finishing the experiment, some of us wanted to sew the rabbit back together instead of using an empty syringe to make it die faster. I felt like we didn't know what we were doing, and the rabbit was definitely going to die anyway. We didn't even administer antibiotics at the end, so the rabbit wouldn't have survived. Why not just let it die directly? Trying to sew it back together wouldn't have worked, and none of us knew how to do it properly. However, I didn't dare say anything because I was afraid they would think there was something wrong with me. Another group finished their dissection quickly. They just used an empty syringe to kill the rabbit, then skinned it and dissected each organ one by one. In order to show that I had sympathy, I told our group about their method, saying that it was too bloody and cruel. But in reality, I just wanted to appear sympathetic. Is it abnormal for me to think this way?",
        "keywords": "Treatment, psychological counseling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Title, hello, give you a hug~ After reading your description, you are a medical student. During the experiment, the scene of dissection shocked your soul. I sympathize with your experience. According to your description, you found that your behavior was different from others during the experiment. You may be confused about whether you have psychological problems, but I think this is a normal behavior and does not mean that you lack compassion. On the contrary, I think this is a very rational behavior. I completely agree with your viewpoint. If you truly pity the rabbits being experimented on, you should let them suffer less pain when they leave, instead of leaving in agonizing struggle. However, I also believe that there is nothing majorly wrong with your group members' actions. It's just that the impact of this experiment on them was too great. Perhaps this is a growth process that medical students must go through.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 677
       },
       {
        "question": "If we don't argue, will my girlfriend have a period of time when she doesn't want to talk to me or meet up with me?",
        "description": "I and my girlfriend didn't have an argument, and nothing happened. She just suddenly went through a period of time where she didn't want to talk to me or see me. I don't know why. Can anyone help me?",
        "keywords": "Love, sense of security, love management, good feeling",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "You and your girlfriend didn't have any arguments, nothing happened at all, but suddenly there was a period of time when she didn't want to talk to you or see you. You feel confused, not knowing why. Why doesn't she want to talk to you or see you when everything was fine? You must be very sad at this time. You rack your brains but can't figure out why things turned out this way. There are several possibilities for this: 1. You did something unintentionally that made her angry, and she is sulking. You can try to communicate with her to find out what's wrong. 2. You failed to meet her expectations in some way. Girls like surprises, especially during the dating phase. 3. Everyone goes through periods of low emotions, and it will naturally get better after a few days. I don't know how long you've been together, but getting to know each other takes time. As you get to know her better, you will also understand her thoughts and feelings better. Best wishes.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 77
       },
       {
        "question": "Sometimes I feel very troubled, I dislike myself, and it's difficult to deal with this feeling.",
        "description": "When I bought a phone case at a physical store, I thought it was good at the time. But then I saw a better-looking one online and I really liked it! I regretted buying the one at the physical store. When I mustered up the courage to say I wanted to return it, the shopkeeper's attitude immediately turned sour. They aggressively grabbed the case and said, \"The packaging is gone, how can I sell it? You'll have to keep it for yourself!\" My heart sank like a knife, and I instantly regretted it. I felt like I was causing trouble. But if I didn't return it, I would feel even worse. So, it's really difficult to deal with this kind of feeling. Many things can be like this, and I even hate myself for acting like this.",
        "keywords": "Behavior, confusion.",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Desire, when reaching out its tentacles, gets bitten by reality. When dealing with desires and needs, it's only necessary to sift and differentiate. Reasonable needs are what safeguard rights and interests. Comparing prices from three different stores is a way of assessing the situation; making hasty decisions and then regretting them is being fickle-minded; feeling heartache after being rejected, lacking a strong sense of responsibility and defense awareness. Feeling lost is also a rare opportunity for self-examination. If anything is lacking, pay attention to making up for it or avoiding it in the future. Looking at it from a different perspective will make it easier to bear. Everyone grows through exploration, that's why one gains wisdom from one's mistakes. Besides, some lessons can't be bought with money.",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 10894
       },
       {
        "question": "A 5-year-old boy refuses to write and always says he doesn't know how to write. What methods can be used to motivate him?",
        "description": "A five-year-old boy only knows how to write the number 1. He always says he can't write the homework assigned by the teacher. His family patiently teaches him to write, but he still can't do it, and more often than not, he doesn't want to write and just wants to play. The teacher also tells the parents that the child is the last one in the class and needs to practice writing more, otherwise he won't be able to keep up. Since he started kindergarten, he has been more active and can't sit still for long on a chair. He has a cheerful personality and many classmates like to play with him. He is polite, hygienic, and likes to share, but he does not like to study. When he doesn't want to write his homework, I tell him that he can go out and play after finishing it, but he says he won't go out then. He even says he doesn't want to go to kindergarten anymore. I don't know what methods can motivate such a young child. Do any teachers have any good ideas?",
        "keywords": "Growing up, child's growth",
        "answers": [
         {
          "answer_text": "Hello. You are too anxious... Of course, what the kindergarten teacher said is also a source of pressure for you. And you are worried about the fear of your child \"falling behind others\". This layer upon layer of pressure and anxiety, when conveyed to the child, the child will instinctively resist. And the \"I just can't write, I'm always last\" and other labels, evaluations from others (especially from you), internalize into his own cognition and evaluation, this is the most worrying. So, what needs to change is your mindset. I suggest you read children's picture books: \"Little Seed,\" \"An's Seed,\" the poem \"Take a Snail for a Walk,\" read books like \"Good Mothers are Better than Good Teachers\" by Yin Jianli, and \"Positive Discipline,\" etc. Calm down your comparison, anxiety, and worry, and then learn the wisdom of being a parent. For example, don't label children, shield them from external pressures and evaluations (such as from teachers). Oh, the attitude of the mother of Little Bean in \"Little Bean by the Window\" and Mr. Ba in the Baidu Academy is worth learning from. Finally, only when your mindset is good, not \"utilitarian,\" not impatient, can you \"teach children\". The so-called education should be fun, taking your child to nature, a twig that he picks up is like a 1, the little duck swimming in the lake is like a 2, the handcuffs opened in the boy's police uniform is like a 3, two round cakes put together is like 8. When he eats a bag of snacks, goes up stairs, you can teach him to count. The buttons on a straight elevator, the license plate of a parked car on the roadside, you can read them together. Why do you have to make him sit there and write stroke by stroke, so boring and tiring? Give him the impression that learning is boring and uninteresting, and even if he remembers and learns, will the result be good without interest? I personally am not an advocate of advanced education, my husband and I are ordinary people, and our child cannot have exceptional intelligence. My child only started holding a pen and learning to write in first grade. Before that, her hands were just used to play casually... Everything is difficult at the beginning, in first grade, she adapted to school slower than the kids who started practicing writing in kindergarten and wrote worse. Naturally, the homeroom teacher took the initiative to call me after the mid-term exam, gently and patiently complaining that my child was dragging down the class, had many \"bad study habits,\" etc. As a qualified parent in modern society, of course, I didn't forget to smile and hurriedly thank the teacher for her concern, promising to cooperate with the school to urge the child to make progress. However, after hanging up the phone, I still adjusted my mindset and respected the child's development law. I did what I needed to do. Now, in second grade, the gap between her and those \"early mature\" children is no longer very obvious. This is what I think, if even I, as a mother, don't trust and appreciate my child, just blindly conform to the world's constant urging for her to fly high, fly fast, and fly far, then when she gets tired of flying, where can she find a place to rest? Where is the shelter for her to seek refuge? Look further ahead, when she turns 30, will you still care, and be entangled in whether she could write numbers from 1 to 10 at 5 years old or write numbers at 7 years old? Is such a trivial matter important? At that time, what ability will you care about the most? In the marathon of education, grasping the child's general direction is the right approach. You have to believe that sometimes being \"slow\" is really \"fast\".",
          "has_label": false,
          "labels_sequence": null
         }
        ],
        "questionID": 4058
       }
]